#I GET THE FEELING
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Lotta words
Just found this blog and I think it's really cool! I'd never heard of apl until like... 20 minutes ago. I'm ace and arospec, and I don't think I'm quite aplatonic, but I'm relating to so many things here.
I have this friend, right? She's been right by my side since the first grade. I send them these flowery sweet nothings - writing about how wonderful she is. The reason the birds sing, descendant of stars, that sort of thing. But I don't really mean it? I'm doing it so that she knows she means a lot to me, but it's blown out of proportion to compensate. It's like I'm translating into something she'll recognize. I don't want her to leave, but why would she stay if she doesn't feel loved?
It's not that I don't care about and appreciate them, I've just never felt the way other people describe love. Like really, it's not that deep. We're friends because we like eachother. How can a single person be everything you think about, be the air you breathe and the tears you cry? Like, chat, is that real?? Wasn't it always dramatized? I can copy the symptoms of love, but will I actually feel it? Based on our friendship, she /should/ be the love of my life, platonic or otherwise. There's just this disconnect, idk. Honestly this could just be because we haven't seen eachother in a year or so and I've forgotten how I feel around them. This could just be something that's Happening. We'll see lol
And the thing about new people expecting friendship SO lightning fast, I get that too.
This blog is pretty awesome -gave me something to think about
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#i get the feeling#how do people focus their entire life on a person??#is that real????#aplatonic#aspec
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All I need is Kirtch understanding human love and the differences 😭 it’s so irritating to me that he dosen’t understand it, it makes more sense for him to have no clue but I just want him to understand🥲
I know 🥲
#i get the feeling#lol#thank you for loving kirtch#he's a baby#alien#husband material#fr fr#thank you for not hating me
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I started writing the sequel to my lonely eyes fic but I kinda high key hate it and now idk what to do 😭
Guess it depends? You could just say fuck it and post it now or come back to it later with fresh eyes/edit it. Or if you’re confident in your hate of it just throw it in the trash I guess?
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hey, i know we've never talked before and we dont really know each otehr, but i just wanted to let you know that i love your blog and that anon doesnt know what they're talking about. they're just being mean cuz they probably feel unsatisfied with their own life. i hope you're having a good day today, if you ever need someone to talk or vent to, my dms are open.
ahhh hello!! i always see you in my notifications hehe
and thank you! not sure exactly why people like this are showing up now of all times but i mean hey its kinda funny
i mean if youre going to hate on someone online that you dont even know + do it behind an anonymous ask- you should probably rethink your life decisions :)
mwah <3 thank you for your offer - i really appreciate it!! i wont let them get to me :)
take a xiao for the road ✩
#★ ˎˊ˗ melonrambles!#★ ˎˊ˗ inbox.#OH AND#HMMM#FOR THE SLIHGTEST#MOST MINSUCLE REASON#I GET THE FEELING#THAT YOURE GAY#IM NOT SURE WHY#ITS SORT OF LIKE A HUNCH??#definitlely not because of your name or anything onononon ofc not <3#anyways have a nice day <33
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Oh I just saw someone in the youtube comments section talking about the Emperor in such a bitter way; they were like 'why did they make us spend time designing a character only for This (referring to the Emperor's appearance) to be the big reveal?!?'
It's like... sorry your dream mommy waifu/dream daddy husbando ended up being a character with more substance than just plain existing as your fantasy, I guess—?
#daisy is perfect as daisy is#the emperor is still your guardian and protector; why should its appearance matter#it can still appear as your dream visitor if that's the problem...#though uh#i get the feeling#that this was someone who was upset that their dream visitor was once a guy#which like... sorry you're disappointed but#being disappointed by the way a story goes does not mean the story was Bad or the writers made a Wrong Decision
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I don’t know if I want to come off anon. My tumblr name does not match my Ao3 name
no worries, then! i'm actually likely not to come off of anon because i like being anonymous. as the blog-runner, it's easier for me to stay on anon, actually.
#unsigned post#i get the feeling#i've been skofnung for so long idk if i want to go back to being [redacted]
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an ex-angers player trying to fight h*kimi, he did it for me ❤❤
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well 🧍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.
#if youre feeling upset or disillusioned i am right there with you#but now more than ever#i want to remind you of the importance of community#check in on your friends#advocate for your friends#protect your friends#protect your community and who you love and care about#and we will get through this#my dms and inbox are always open#even if you just want to vent#im also so sad right now but we have to be strong and stick together right now#(also if youre not american pls understand this affects us all and to not invalidate the feelings of americans)
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filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^
#THIS TOOK ME FOREVER RAAHHHH#i had help from my mom with stuff like the parts of the traje de mestiza which is the outfit shes wearing#this trend looks so much fun and i wanted to join in.. im first gen canadian though so ive never been to the philippines and only#know thru stories of my parents growing up. im proud of my heritage but there are some things i didnt grow up with that#make me feel disconnected from my culture. so it was nice to talk to my mom abt it and ask for her help with this :3#the pleated tapis is meant to resemble her skirt.. i had no way of adding her stockings but i noticed the piano key design#so i used that for the saya. the bandana is meant to resemble her hairties and shes wearing bakya wooden slippers with embroidery#i kinda wanted to add the panuelo to resemble her tie as a finishing touch but i forgor ;w; just imagine it i guess#my mom really likes this. shes a little confused abt the blue hair and i had to explain her hair is like that but she thinks shes pretty#originally i wanted her holding the woven pamaypay and fanning herself because ITS HOT ITS 25 FUCKING DEGREES TODAY#but i couldnt get the pose right so i settled for this. i wanna draw her and brazilian miku high fiving ill do that tmrw#my art#myart#hatsune miku#miku worldwide#philippines#vocaloid#miku
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Love it when Rolling Stone puts out an article about the 25 most influential internet creators and I've only heard of 7 of them
#kai rambles#god i feel old#but im not old#im 24#but im looking at this list like who are any of you?#why did this get 60k notes
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Dumb thing that would not leave my brain
#jayvik#arcane#viktor#jayce talis#suggestive#bluesky enjoyed this one way more than i thought so i figured id toss it here too#ive gotten such sweet nice comments on my last triptych drawings#fellow jayviks you are so niceys#stop enabling me!!!! ill want to draw more!!!!#i STILL cant get jayce's face right. i feel like flynn rider#i hate hate hate drawing anything inorganic especially in perspective#if i have to draw a straight line or an ellipse its game over#so it truly speaks to my love for The Character that ive willingly drawn viktor's brace several times lol
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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Found my fav Slay the Princess route recently. Dragon my beloved. Your horrifying beak mouth was an impossible-to-refuse lip syncing challenge 💖
Shoutouts to @blacktabbygames for making such a cool game!
#stp spoilers#slay the princess spoilers#stp dragon#stp the princess and the dragon#I FINISHED THIS LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO AND CONSISTENTLY FORGOT TO POST IT UNTIL I REMEMBERED JUST NOW LMAO FUCK#i made it for my showreel when i realised stp is full of good lines to lip sync to and ooohhhh what a fun challenge it was#and such a fun sketchy art style to emulate too. i dont think i quite nailed it but you have to take liberties when it's animation dont you#anyway this route makes me insane. getting to finally see ourself and finding out we're a SICK ASS GIANT DESTRUCTIVE CREATURE?!!!#the princess is so good at making me feel feeble and pathetic in this game. i had no idea. i am so so happy. this is gender euphoria#thank u my friend @rune-chaser for introducing me to this game bc it's so cool!!! and has made me cry more than once! yayyy!!!#stp#slay the princess#stp princess#stp the long quiet#my animations#my art#EDIT: changed the name in the desc from stp to slay the princess bc i want non stp players to know what the game is. shoulda done it sooner
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Our hextech dream….
#the thing is#I’m so excited for the final act to drop#but I’m also so sad because arcane is such a gem#there is very few pieces of media that is so well done#well written well animated well thought out and cared for#the only shows that come close to this level of quality get CANCELLED#So to be able to enjoy a complete and well crafted story as good as this#bro I feel lucky#sad it’s over but I can’t wait#(it’s also insanely rewatchable so I’m not TOO torn up about if#my art#arcane#arcane league of legends#viktor league of legends#viktor arcane#jayce talis#arcane jayce#jayce league of legends#jayvik
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don't show him modern technology; it won't end well
bonus under the cut:
#i'm not sure if ford would really be interested in using the internet much#but i could see him wanting to look something up real quick and ending up reading something so outrageously wrong#that it pisses him off to the point that he gets into an argument about it lol#gravity falls#stan pines#stanley pines#stanford pines#digital art#my stuff#anyway i really don't like how this one turned out#but i don't feel like changing it#bc i already spent way more time on this than i actually wanted to#and i don't wanna look at it any longer
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I could think of no better way to share the news than this!
So when I was 17, my cat went missing and I'd given up hope of ever seeing him again.
Until on Monday, 27th of May, 2024, my friend sent me a FB post asking 'isn't that your mother?' about the person named on the microchip.
Here he is! 16 years old, and found safe, twelve whole years after he went missing!
Yesterday (Tuesday the 28th of May, 2024) I went to the rescue that had him, and I reclaimed my boy, renaming him Artie! (He'd originally been called 'Cat' because my mother and I couldn't decide on a name)
He's home safe with me now, currently inhabiting my bathroom and purring up a storm every time someone goes in there!
I'll be doing slow introductions between him and my current cat to give them the best possible chance of living in harmony!
Here's some pictures of Artie once we let him out of the carrier:
#personal#okay to reblog#my cat#cat people#honestly i can't believe this#like it happened to me and it still feels so fanciful and unreal#like something out of a children's story book or something#he's such a good boy!#he purrs like a motorbike and loves his brushy!!!#edited to add the flag because terfs found this post#people that hate my existence don't get to celebrate my cat
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