#I GET IT THOUGH we are very different ppl on the surface level and i used to hate his guts so.

[darcyolsson]

me and my former high school enemy turned bestie have plans to go clubbing again sometime next month and people keep inviting themselves to join us bc they can't wrap their heads around us being friends and they need to witness it for themselves 😭😭 very funny

[musicalmoritz]

What do you think of Natsuhiko as a character? I personally don't like him all that way, granted it's pretty surface level. While I wouldn't say I hate or despise him, I do find him a tad irritating in the beginning of the series. However later chapters have piqued my interest regarding his character as a whole, and I would also like to ask about his relationship with Sakura. At first glance it seemingly falls into a dynamic like AoiAoi, where the girl shows disinterest while the guy does not stop with his pursuits. Of course now we have more insight on AoiAoi, but this isn't yet the case for Sakuhiko. So by extension, what do you take from their dynamic?

Thank you for this question, Sakura and Natsuhiko are two of my favorites but I haven’t gotten the chance to talk abt them much yet!! (I say “favorites” but they’re 9 and 10th on my character ranking respectively so do with that info what you will lol)

Starting off with Natsuhiko, I didn’t like him much at first either. In fact, when I first watched the anime, I fucking hated this dude on sight. Like I couldn’t even stand to look at him, he gave me frat boy vibes and I didn’t trust him. When I realized he was going to be a prominent character I dreaded it. I’m not sure when my opinion started to change, maybe around the door arc?? As a Natsunene enjoyer that one’s a favorite of mine lol. Tbh he still annoys me sometimes, he’s just so shady mixed with a personality that’s made to be irritating and it makes me roll my eyes so hard. I feel bad saying that bcuz a lot of my moots LOVE him but fear not, he’s in my top 10 for a reason

As much as I love Sakura and Natsuhiko, it’s hard to say much about either of them with what little info we’ve been giving. I have to laugh at ppl who think the current arc of the manga is going to be the last one because that would likely mean the series would end without either of them ever getting their time to shine (despite all the recent lore that’s been dropped, we still don’t know much about Natsuhiko). However, what we’ve seen of them so far has been super compelling

For Natsuhiko, I like him most when he’s with the Broadcasting Crew. I know he’s almost always with them but I mean specifically when we see the side of his character that acts like a true upperclassman. I like when he’s visibly annoyed with Tsukasa, it shows a different side to his laidback personality. Despite how chill he appears, he seems to have a short temper, it’s just something he keeps inside. I also think him being an ASMRist in the Monster Nursery au is so hilariously on brand. And tbh I could yap forever about what the anime did with the Monster Nursery au!! I can’t remember if Natsuhiko was the undercover researcher in the original au or not but regardless I love the route they took. If I have time I will absolutely write a Sakuhiko fic set in that universe someday bcuz they give me major Spy X Family vibes

I need more details on why he can’t die and how his blood kills people. Is he from an exorcist clan??? Is he part supernatural??? What is his deal??? I’m very interested to learn more about him. He’s always been a suspicious character so I like that we’re starting to get more insight on him

Now onto Sakuhiko…*dreamy sigh*. I love Sakuhiko so much. They’re one of my top ships for TBHK, at one point they were even my favorite. I do headcanon them as sapphics, with Sakura being a nonbinary lesbian and Natsuhiko being a genderfluid bisexual. I have written a few fics for them on ao3 so if you’re looking for some good sapphic Sakuhiko stuff…🤭

I see where the AoiAoi parallels come from on a surface level but beyond that I feel as though the two ships are quite different! First off, Aoi never shuts Akane down the way Sakura does with Natsuhiko. Sakura hits him every time he tries to make a move on them, a clear sign of rejection coupled with berating him verbally. They make their disinterest abundantly clear, although it’s highly implied that the ship isn’t as one-sided as it appears. There are moments where Sakura looks at Natsuhiko with fondness, and times where they even seem to flirt with him! Natsuhiko himself says that Sakura just has a different way of showing their love for him, very similar to the Minamoto Typical Sadism I write so often lol. It’s not a TBHK couple without a little sadomasochism (not the weird kinky kind just the bullying kind, the majority of them are babies. Normally I wouldn’t feel the need to specify that but this is Tumblr)

Anyways this is very different from how Aoi “rejects” Akane. Every time she turns him away, she does so in a way that will encourage him to keep trying. With a cute smile and a hand to her face, rating his pursuits so he’ll be motivated to try and do better next time. She never gives him less than 2 points (as far as I remember), and she’s not even mean to him until she’s under the potion in chapter 69. I’m pretty sure Aoi would cry at the thought of treating Akane the way Sakura treats Natsuhiko, she’s pretty down bad and dependent on him in certain ways. She shuts down at the thought of Akane ever moving on, so she would never reject him so bluntly and risk losing his approval. Sakura doesn’t seem to care what Natsuhiko thinks of them, they’re a very independent as opposed to Aoi who is more on the dependent side of things. If Sakura were revealed to have been super clingy and emotionally attached to Natsuhiko this whole time, that would be weird writing. But Aoi’s attachment to Akane has been implied since the Confession Tree arc

The differences between Natsuhiko and Akane are so interesting to me because they get compared so often. The biggest thing I notice is the level of respect they have for their partners. Akane is overly obsessive and a yandere at times but he never actually attempts to touch Aoi the way Natsuhiko frequently does with Sakura (not in a perverted way like Hanako but he still makes attempts to take their hand or hold them in a way we never see Akane do with Aoi). The first time we really see Akane being physically aggressive with Aoi was in ch.69, when he was initially trying to forcefully stop her from a suicide attempt. Not saying he handled it right but I try to cut him some slack bcuz it was an insanely tense situation, I myself wouldn’t have handled it perfectly.

After that, he kisses her hand to apologize for saying he hates her (many fans mistake this scene for him ignoring her consent but if we focus on the setup, that wasn’t the situation at all- the kiss was an apology and Aoi’s “don’t touch me” didn’t even get a full speech bubble). At that point she’s blushing and leaning into him, no longer trying to run away. She looks conflicted bcuz it’s a very emotional scene, but she’s clearly calmed down from how she was feeling before. By the time they kiss, she’s fully clinging onto him. After that he’s more causally touchy with her, like holding her hand or helping her get around No.6’s boundary. Aside from official arts we never really see Sakura leaning into or reciprocating Natsuhiko’s touch. They appear to enjoy his company, letting him tag along everywhere they go; but they’re not easily moved by affection the way Aoi is. That doesn’t stop Natsuhiko from being pushy, but I will give him that he knocks it off after Sakura rejects him. I swear I’m not trying to cancel this dude, I’m just saying he has less regard for boundaries the way Akane does

Another thing is reciprocation. During the Clock Keepers arc, Akane tells Nene that he plans to love and support Aoi even if she never loves him back. This means he expects nothing in return for all the love he gives her, all he wants is to make her feel loved. And if she enjoys receiving daily confessions, he’ll gladly make a fool out of himself each time. In the same scene he talks about Aoi’s past with having to put up with creepy guys, which explains why he’s so overprotective and hostile to men who want to pursue her. We see later in the manga he’s not as bothered when he realizes Teru’s feelings for her are genuine. Once he realizes Teru respects Aoi the same way he does, and that he won’t hurt her like he does with Akane, he begins to view Teru as healthy competition. This is much different from the way he treats Yokoo and Satou in ASHK when he catches them spying on Aoi

Also in ASHK, we see Natsuhiko attempt to give Sakura a love potion. I know this was literally in a comedy spin off but it stands out to me because Akane would never do this to Aoi. He respects her too much for that, he would never force her to reciprocate his feelings. Natsuhiko is a far more manipulative character, so it’s not all that surprising to me that he’d be okay with Sakura’s love being fake. He just wants a date with them, he doesn’t seem to care how he gets it. Again, I’m not trying to accuse him of being something he’s not, I want to make that very clear (think of Hanako, he’s known for being a perv but he would never intentionally make Nene upset or uncomfortable. Imo Natsuhiko is similar but in a different way, I wouldn’t call him a perv like Hanako but he’s a bit more possessive than the other characters). I see Sakuhiko as being on the more toxic end of TBHK ships as opposed to AoiAoi which has become more healthy recently. That’s not necessarily a problem with the pairing, just something I don’t see pointed out as often. And keep in mind that the toxicity is mutual, since Sakura knows Natsuhiko can’t die they regularly make attempts on his life and send him out to do dangerous missions. They’ve both got their quirks

One of my favorite things abt the ship is how Natsuhiko seems to know Sakura better than most people. More than Sakura is aware of, probably. I’m thinking specifically of that scene where Mitsuba asked if he could stay with the Broadcasting Crew and Sakura didn’t know how to respond so Natsuhiko answered for them. Sakura cares more deeply for people than they let on, and the only person who seems to recognize that is Natsuhiko. That’s so!! Fucking sweet to me!! They’re a toxic mess but they were made for each other and at the end of the day they’ll stay by each other’s sides. Natsuhiko would watch the world burn if it meant Sakura would look in his direction. Despite the themes of betrayal in his character, he is loyal to a fault when it comes to Sakura. I love that so much

Sometimes I wonder how serious the relationship is tho bcuz like…every time I see it written platonically absolutely nothing changes. Maybe Natsuhiko is there for ulterior motives and he’s just joking abt the flirting. I highly doubt that since TBHK is partially a romance but it’s a cool concept. I also love their ship trope, they remind me of Beast Boy and Raven. Grumpy X Sunshine except they’re both kinda shitty people. Peak

I hope you enjoyed this deep dive, and that I didn’t turn you away from the ship yapping abt their problems lol. To me toxic elements of ships are more things I love about them (within reason) because I love exploring character flaws and how people can overcome those in relationships. Or sometimes I just want to see them be terrible together. The duality of woman.

[drivestraight]

Hey came from ao3. Love all your works, English is my second language and because of that I often end up reading your works twice or thrice, to understand all the implications and undertones, but each read make it even more interesting.

There is something about the way you write that I find very interesting, perhaps it is the non linear way of making connections or how there is always undercurrents of tension throughout your work, even when the vibes are supposed to be good. There is always some fundamental understanding that just exists in the periphery of the reader but is not possible to grasp. (I just realized I am not making much sense, sorry 😐 😅)

Also loved the characterisation of Oscar, the whole events and the way he reacts to them are very much in line to his quiet and go with the flow personality (or how I see it). The part where he doesn't bother telling anyone about his first heat, reminds me very much of how we did not know about his broken rib. I see Oscar as an extreme realist, I also thinks he has a good understanding of himself, something I feel is absent in Lando.

So this became much longer than I expected, but I am curious of your take on fem Oscar and what other relationship dynamics make you curious.

thank you so much! ahhh even ppl reading my fics once makes me happy! twice and three times is so special so thank you!

there's nothing i love more than having what should be on surface level be a good situation but there's an underlying feeling that something is kind of wrong and they're both losing so much in the end and even if you have it it'll never live up to your expectations. etc.

and no you're making perfect sense! i think ive kind of been trying to aim for that lately. like i've been trying a lot to move away from the sort of heavy handed close narration i used to do where everything was spelled out and the feelings were clear in the POV character (like... objects in mirror charles heavy psychoanalysis etc.). and then i think like back in 2023 even as i was experimenting with different writing styles i was still using the POV character as a sort of window to either explore their counterpart (i.e., the other person in the ship) or use them as a foil to the MC.

anyway TLDR i'm trying to play a lot with like... empty space... if it were with words... like to fill out a narrative by . Not filling it out. and to explore the POV character's head without spelling it out. which leaves a sort of gap from the narration to the reader HOWEVER i think that that tends to be more compelling/propulsive to read. Now i think i'm the one not making any sense alkjdsf;lksjflkd

ANYWAY oscar is a really fun POV character to try to get all of this across i'm quickly finding out. so i'm glad you like his characterization :) it's also like - i'm closest in age with oscar and he feels less like a sort of caricature of an f1 driver and more like. A Guy. very internal / external sort of disparity/tension that he's aware of but maybe can't help (re: aries sun and PISCES MERCURY... We should talk about it...).

i could go on about this for ages so maybe i'll leave that here 😭

this ALSO went on for ages but. to answer ur final question. the whole girl oscar thing was mostly cuz like. i like girls and i like oscar and rule 63 is always fun and my favorite landoscar dynamic is just them being sex freaks so of course in a lighthearted series like my girl oscar series it would just. be that. like lando would be soooo obsessed with girl oscar. my general take on girl oscar is that she's the exact same as boy oscar. maybe a little weirder though. and lando is really into that weirdness. like the whole blase bold sort of vibe/unfazed etc.

If that made any sense... Sorry for the word vomit...

[insecateur]

Okay so basically I love Cyrus as a character and love trying to understand what kind of person he could be... we know him to be the unemotional guy who wants a 'perfect' world void of emotions. If we take him as just that, and assume he's unsavable/not capable of changing, then that's just what he is. In relationship terms that means he is probably neutral and doesn't care for or dislike anyone (no emotion), and linking onto that is the idea he's probably asexual and has no interest in sex, and likely wouldn't know how to do it either. (Though with how analytical he is, he's probably got a bunch of knowledge of how it works in practice, but probably sees no point in it and wouldn't actually be able to do it well). But that's boring one dimensional thinking imo, and there's more to Cyrus than that I think... (1/2)

The flip side is if you're someone who believes he's capable of changing and experiencing emotions in the right circumstances, he could be different. I read a Cyrus x reader fic forever ago (I might be able to find the link if you'd be interested in that kind of thing). The majority of it is a sappy romance story, with a small smut segment at the end... but the story fit really well with how I'd imagine him. He links with an old friend who shows him kindness unconditionally, and despite wanting to follow through with his plans, he starts to break and have actual feelings. I LOVE the idea of him changing and experiencing positive emotions through the power of love and kindness from others in general! And I feel like that's a possible thing for his character, since we know he's canonly had friends in the past... (one more ask sorry)

(3/3) anyways the fic explored his conflict of his original plan, and that faltering when he started actually caring about someone and better understanding the goodness of the world. The end of the fic was a sex piece in which basically he's never done it before, was worried he was going to be too stoic or do things wrong, but was willing to figure out how it worked. And then similar to one of the other asks you got, it was kinda one of those "stoic character loses control in a sexual craze" kind of way (consentually!), so like a "uncertain, maybe doesn't get it right on the first try, but very easy to teach how to do the exact correct thing, and then he can FUCK" was how that went, and ultimately I think that suits him best lol

(putting everything in one ask so it's easier to read/answer!!)

tbh for me cyrus not experiencing emotions/having a hard time experiencing emotions is like. dear to me i guess as someone who has a lot of emotional struggles (which i'm sure ppl who know me would be surprised by bc i actually experience Too Many Emotions usually but i feel like there is something about too many emotions sometimes that just flips back to no emotions) i was really happy watching the pokémon generations episode where he gets to the distortion world and stays there and is happy to be in an emotionless place bc i feel like a lot of storyline for characters who are like that are about "fixing" them bc not experiencing emotions (or not experiencing emotions "the right way") is seen as "inhuman" or whatever. which is silly to me but okay.

ANYWAY all of that to say that i guess i'm just not rly interested in cyrus "learning" to feel emotions (and i don't think it's necessarily one-dimensional to see that as his main traits altho i see what you mean by that also as someone who is used to seeing very surface-level takes on lysandre LOL) BUT!!! i don't think it's a bad way to want to see him explored or anything and i totally get your pov. i like the smut scene you describe as well i think it sounds rly sweet honestly

[seokwoosmole]

K-Pop Album Suggestions???

So...lovely thing happened at the beginning of 2021 – I got properly into K-pop. As in not just casually listening but proper fan life with all the "introduction to...(such and such group)" videos and voting apps, fandoms, merch searching, the whole shebang. Ppl who follow my blog know I'm no stranger to SF9 & iKON/B.I and I'm also a big fan of other groups/artists, but outside of those artists (and even portions of the discography of some of them), my musical knowledge is still quite lacking and very surface level. Soooo I'm doing an album binge. Please feel free to comment, message, or send in asks with some albums you recommend. I want to listen to as many albums as I can by the end of the year!

That being said...

I already have my own personal list of albums I have in mind on top of any recommendations I get, and while I'm open to almost anything, I may not get to everything either because of lack of time or I just might not be feeling the artist or their music or that particular album. So if I don't listen to your recommendation, please don't take it personally or as an act of hating on the artist. We all have different preferences and opinions and I'm not here to spread hate nor do I welcome it, please and thank you. I will try to do reviews on the albums that particularly stood out to me or left me with a lot of thoughts though (if I can)! I haven't figured out a rating system yet, if I'll even have one, but that can come later.

Anyway, as much as I adore these artists, please don't recommend anything by SF9, iKON/B.I/Bobby, KARD/BM, Lee Hi, The Rose/Woosung, Key (SHINee). I know most to all of their music so listening to them won't give me anything I haven't heard yet😂 My goal is to expose myself to artists I'd like to listen to more or familiarize myself with more of the discography of artists I already like that I might not know as much of their music that I'd like to. So far, this is my list:

Raid of Dream – Dreamcatcher

ZERO : FEVER Part.3 – ATEEZ

COLORS from Ars – Youngjae (GOT7)

7 for 7 – GOT7

INTO VIOLET – PURPLE KISS

Palette – IU

Blue – ONEW (SHINee)

NOEASY – Stray Kids

1+1=1 – HyunA&DAWN

BLACKPINK IN YOUR AREA – BLACKPINK

Note: I am open to suggestions from most artists, but these particular artists I'd love to listen to more of especially, but would like a little nudge in the right direction for picking which album is best:

Monsta X, Wonho, BTS, Jackson Wang, Exo, Somi, NCT, TXT, THE BOYZ, Pentagon, 2NEI, BIGBANG, Weeekly, CHUNG HA, Red Velvet

And more GOT7 & SHINee please! Yes, I consider myself ahgase & shawol, but they both have such huge discographies that I have not fully conquered, especially since they both have members with solo careers.

Also, please recommend me some girl groups. I have a harder time finding girl groups I like mostly because I'm not the biggest fan of most (most, not all) cute concepts, which many girl groups do. But like I said, my knowledge is lacking and I'm here to learn, so if there's groups with a similar vibe to Dreamcatcher, Purple Kiss, or Red Velvet (but like with "Bad Boy" or "Psycho" vibes) that I seem to not be aware of, please let me know!

Anyway, this was soooo unnecessarily long, I'm giving anyone who stuck around this long mental cupcakes🧁🧁🧁

Let the binging begin!

[dodo-begone]

ALRIGHTY! LOYAL HERE COMING IN WITH THE CIRCUS HAHAHA

Btw, I’m like 90% sure that I fell asleep while writing so it just stops. Like, there’s no ending/summary/whatever word I’m looking for but can’t think of at the moment and my bird is currently chewing on my phone case oh my god can she please stop—

__________________

I believe the concept of yanderes ft. a isekai-d reader has been mentioned by Shepard and her anons, tho it’s been mainly for Origins SMP. So, I come to you with ideas for the Dream SMP because that’s all I’m familiar with HAHAH—

Also, I apologize in advance because this thing is borderline an essay with how long it is. I’m so sorry—

For example *cue dramatic lighting and a cheesy flashback monologue thingie* oh my god I think I’m losing it, I’m so tired

Y/n and their younger sibling, Frisk, had just finished up another press conference regarding Monsters being back on the surface. All seems to be going well until the ground beneath their feet vanishes and they fall unconscious a few moments later. When they awaken, they notice they’re surrounded by humans—wait they aren’t all humans, what the fuck, since when are there hybrids? They knew everyone from the underground—by name, no less—and had never heard of any currently living hybrids. Only of ones from before the war. Besides, Monsters have been on the surface for a month at most, so there is no way for... oh boy, their head is spinning.

After some very...tense...introductions (“Hi, I never saw you guys Underground, nor have I heard of you, no offense. So, uh, which monsters are you guys related to?” “OI, I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT TUBBO IS NOT A MONSTER!”) they come to the realization that y/n is most definitely not from this world, or even this universe. Y/n’s adamant refusal to fight the “real monsters” that roam this land (“I did not spend countless timelines weeks putting my life on the line to befriend every monster, break the barrier that trapped them Underground, and defend them against my own god forsaken race just to turn my back on them.”) was a pretty big sign, after all. That, along with species of monsters that the SMP members have never heard of and how y/n talked about Souls as if they were a tangible thing.

It’s a rocky start before any sort of friendship is formed: y/n, wanting to be cautious, (and also not having Sans there to CHECK for them) decides to ask everyone what their LV is. It’s risky, and they had no way to prove if anyone is (or isn’t) telling the truth, but it was worth a shot. “Our levels?” A small goat hybrid asked, his head slightly tilting to the side. Everyone assumes that y/n is talking about enchantment levels. “I’m at 26! Ranboo, you’re at 30, right?” “I’m at 37 now, actually.” “Well, I’M at 58. Clearly I’m the superior one here. A real big man, a very manly man, aren’t I?” And a few others pipe in. Color drains from y/n’s face and they take a few steps back, hands shaking as their eyes dart between each person in the room and the exit. ‘How many lives have they each taken to make their LOVE so high? Why do they seem so proud of it?’ Yeah... that was an interesting experience.

- even though they have been reassured multiple times that the monsters of this world are nothing like the ones from their home, y/n still refuses to kill a single one, as I had mentioned earlier. They also refuse to kill animals. It takes a couple tries at explaining LV or LOVE—Level Of ViolencE—along with EXP—EXecution Points—but eventually everyone is on the same page

- Y/n is hesitant to bring out their SOUL when asked. First off, though they’re now friends with those from the Underground, they can’t help but be reminded of every spear, knife, bone, petal, gaster blaster, and fireball that has been aimed at them with the intent to kill whenever their SOUL was drawn into an encounter back then. Second of all, showing your SOUL is something you do with those you trust with your life—after all, you’re literally putting your lifeline out on display when you do so. There are so many different ways that the SMP members can see it

- Perhaps a monster appears

- Eggpire or Dream attack

- Someone forces y/n into an encounter because everyone is too curious to just let this opportunity slip by

- When y/n discovers that the people of this land have more than one life, they’re confused. There is no way that all of these people have SOULS of Determination, and there’d definitely be some issues if people kept rewinding time to their last save point. Besides, only one Determination SOUL—the strongest one—should be able to respawn. Then again, they only know what Frisk had explained to them. They were never able to see the save stars that Frisk would interact with in the different sections of the Underground. So they only have so much to go off of.

- Battle for them is completely different. Despite being in a different world, the mechanics from their world still apply. They can FIGHT, ACT, use an ITEM or show MERCY.

- They use Frisk’s tactic and flirt their way out of a fight or two. They never understood why Frisk did it until now... ‘I mean, I...wow. That was actually effective.’ They’re impressed.

- Oh no, maybe that wasn’t the best idea...they might have some yanderes after them bc of it...

- They probably have accidentally called Philza ‘Asgore’ and Tubbo ‘Asriel’ because both hybrids remind her of the two males from her world. Similar personalities AND Tubbo is a goat hybrid. The poor child is going to be so confused

- If Tubbo’s a yandere oh boy it’s going to be so easy for him. Y/n will probably be constantly at his side and telling him stories about the first fallen child and how they were adopted by the royal family, who are goat monsters! And just explaining the history of the underground and how important the goat family is. Talks about Asriel a lot as well. Probably makes him butterscotch cinnamon pie and tries to recreate golden flower tea to share with him as well. Or, they do that and he’s not yandere and it’s just wholesome.

- If we follow the headcanons that some fans have made, perhaps Frisk (and/or y/n) gave up half of their SOUL to give to either (or both) Chara or Asriel so they’d have another chance at life

- Not only does y/n refuse to kill, which leaves them vulnerable, they also only have half a SOUL, which means they’re incredibly weak. Someone needs to protect them, someone needs to keep them safe, someone needs to—

- Y/n is incredibly agile thanks to all the battles they’ve faced Underground. With their SOUL always out in the open during an encounter and the fact that they refuse to harm anyone, it’s required. I’m imagining them moving like a dancer, using jumps and spins to help them avoid any weapons swung at them.

- This is gonna be annoying for any yandere that wishes to lock y/n up. Even if they won’t physically hurt someone, they WILL put up a fight and make it as hard as they possibly can to be dragged into isolation or imprisonment

- When it comes to who goes yandere, I believe what color of SOUL y/n has (their personality, in summary) would play a big role. Here’s a few of my ideas, feel free to move people around or add to it, I’m really tired and can’t think of many characters LOL

- Red (determination): Wilbur, Technoblade

- Orange (bravery): Technoblade, Dream, Tommy

- Yellow (justice): Sam, Technoblade

- Green (kindness): the kids of the server, Fundy, and Ghostbur

- Cyan (patience): Ranboo, Ghostbur, Karl

- Dark blue (integrity): Tubbo, Philza, Sam

- Purple (perseverance): Dream—this man would love to see how long it would take for your perseverance to run out. I wouldn’t be surprised if your perseverance is the only reason he’s interested.

__________________

From what I saw of the end of what I wrote, it is DEFINITELY cut short. At least I mentioned every SOUL type lolol.

Also, I found a whole other note that’s a continuation of this concept but for y/n being from another game what the hell was I doing—

Expect that to come in another ask once I eat dinner

Sorry i took so long to answer!! I kept getting distracted!

That stuff is so pog man!!!! Puffy might be called “Toriel” once in a while because mom energy and she sheep,,, close to goat!

Gosh all the flirting will bring in so many yanderes or make ppl like “yo wtf??” And there’s a very small amount that are inbetween.

OKAY BUT WITH THE MONSTER STUFF ON THE DSMP- they’d keep the monsters in their house. They’d give them food and everything. Some def become very friendly and will defend. Haha giant spider go prrrrrr

I’d write more but there is so much amazing stuff I don’t think I could add to some of them anyways!!! Plus my mind is just racing other places rn haha

[summonerscenarios]

Hello, whenever you're able to, can you make the reactions of the Summoners + Gullinbursti and Agyo reacting to MC2 coming back all scratched and bruised? I love when the boys get worried about the MC

First request post of 2021 let’s go~! dfghgfd honestly don’t we all love seeing ppl worry about the poor MC? I mean the amount of trouble they get dragged into is ridiculous lmao I’m sure there’s some kind of award for that at this point. Hope ya like it hun!

-----

Shiro

Shiro’s worried - of course he is. Seeing any of the Summoners getting scratched up or injured in fights is enough to warrant concern about them; however, his reaction really depends on how you ended up getting scuffed up. If it was due to jumping in to help someone or getting into an accident he’s going to be very concerned about your health and well being. If it was because you were super reckless and went overboard doing some stupid shit? He’ll absolutely know and you’ll know he knows as soon as you walk through the door and spot him waiting for you. He’s got the disapproving parent face down to a T which you’ve joked about on more than one occasion, but it's clear he’s still genuinely worried once he catches sight of how banged up and bruised you are.

He keeps a few things like plasters and that on him for the little injuries (and for when the D-evil’s get hurt I’ll die with this idea thx), there’s also a first aid kit or two stocked away at the safehouse thanks to the last couple of instances of people (namely you and Kengo) coming back in beaten up and in need of some bandaging up, so thankfully he’s fully prepared to help you. He makes sure you’re sitting down both to get you off of your feet as well as to see where all the scratches are so he knows exactly what he’s working with. Surprisingly, Shiro’s pretty adept at patching you up without hurting you too much - turning your hands and arms around in his hands to make sure he gets every cut and scrape without pressing down too hard as he wipes them over and patches them up. The whole time he works he’ll ask you about what happened this time, listening to you telling him all about what went down as he works, nodding along and humming to let you know that he’s still listening to you whenever you pause. 

Shiro knows that he can’t always stop you from getting hurt, especially when there’s so many things out to get you (and so many things you actively jump into without any regard for your wellbeing whatsoever, like seriously please at least try to keep yourself he worries a lot), but he can at least always be there to patch you back up and get you back on your feet when you’re injured, so he takes this kind of stuff seriously. Even once you’re patched up Shiro makes sure you sit down for a little while to rest a bit - if you have any open cuts the only thing that running around jumping back into trouble will achieve is making it take longer to heal. In the meantime he’ll make some drinks to convince you to stay put, giving the two of you the chance to chat about something that isn’t injury-related as you drink and talk in the safety of the guildhouse.

Kengo

Okay I’m gonna be honest, Kengo’s not entirely surprised to see you all busted up when you run into each other. It’s not like he hasn’t had his fair share of scuffles for various reasons (sometimes he doesn’t even mean to get dragged into them!...sometimes) and he knows that you’re very much the same so it’s not like he doesn’t realize you aren’t gonna come in roughed up sometimes. The two of you have got a pretty mutual understanding - if you need some help patching up you’ve got each other’s backs, namely to avoid getting reamed out by the others for getting into said fights in the first place. Which is exactly why when you guys bump into each other and he sees that you’re sporting a shiner and a busted lip to boot he knows something went down, but he doesn’t worry too much when you flash him a grin and tell him that he missed a hell of a fight, easing his worries that it at least didn’t get too out of hand.

There’s nothing a washcloth and some water won’t fix - at least that’s what he says as he slaps a bowl full of water down in front of you once you’re sat down on the floor and kneels down to get on your level. He leaves your eye be once he makes sure it’s only bruised and not something more serious and focuses on the cuts since they’re the bigger issue. His hands are rugged and his grip’s a little rough when he accidentally brushes over some of the bruised parts of your skin, but Kengo tries his best to be careful, guiding you to tilt your head in his direction with one hand as the other brings the washcloth up to your busted lip. It stings when he touches it and your expression scrunches up at the unpleasant feeling, but you ease up a little as he cleans up the wound and wipes away the blood smearing your mouth. 

Kengo tries to keep the mood as light as possible; he tries to crack a couple jokes to cheer you up but a few of them earn him a playful punch to the shoulder though it makes taking care of you go a lot more smoothly.The cuts at least look better once they’re cleaned up of the blood and marks, and while Kengo does wish he at least had something to wrap em up with he’s glad that you’re at least looking a sight better than you did when you’d initially showed up. 

Ryota

WORRIED. VERY WORRIED. When Ryota catches sight of you he almost immediately drops whatever he's doing and rushes over to you to make sure that you’re okay, expression alight with alarm when he can see how scuffed up you are up close. At the sight of his reaction worrying over you, you feel a bit guilty that you didn’t try to clean yourself up before you arrived, since the bruises and bleeding cuts don't exactly paint the most reassuring picture to the poor boy. Still you try to reassure him that it’s really not that bad - you’ve had worse bruises and most of the scratches are surface wounds anyway; Ryota still frets over you until you at the very least sit down, looking at some of the bruises on the side of your face with brows furrowed in unspoken concern.

Ryota’s asking you what he can do to help the whole time - is there something he can get you? Something to cover the cuts? Maybe some ice for the bruises? He’s pretty sure he could rush to the cafeteria and get some to wrap up in a cloth so you can soothe the ache ,or at least lessen the pain. You end up taking him up on the offer, and he comes back with a pouch of ice, pressing it to the bruised side of your face so gently it’s like he’s scared of hurting you even more. It certainly helps to ease the pain a little, and seeing you visibly relax at the touch it seems to calm his nerves down as he comes to sit down beside you, talking to you as you take the ice pack from him and keep it pressed to your face.

He seems to remember something as you’re talking and spins around to rummage through one of his drawers, turning back around with a box of plasters in hand a few moments later with a triumphant smile on his face. Soon enough you’ve got plenty of plasters with cute little patterns decorated on them on each and every one of your cuts regardless of how big or small they are. By the time the last one’s carefully placed over a cut around your finger the earlier tension’s definitely eased and you can tell he feels less worried now that you’re taken care of, offering you a warm smile when he looks up from your hand at you.

Toji

Toji’s dealt with more than a few injuries himself before, having to teach himself how to take care of different kinds of wounds over the course of his lifetime. Alongside this however he’s also grown quite adept at assessing how serious someone else's injuries are when he sees them. Perhaps that's how he’s able to notice something’s wrong when you try to sneak back to your room trying to nurse your wounds after getting pretty scuffed up through no real fault of your own. It’s not as though you can really hide them from him though, with a couple bruises, cuts and a generally mussed up appearance it isn’t hard for him to take a guess that you aren’t in your usually injury-free state. When you try to assure him that you’ll be find once you’ve patched yourself up Toji sighs, rubbing his temples, then proceeds to gesture for you to go ahead into your room, and thinking he’s actually letting you off the hook you don't hesitate to slip into your room and leave it there. Only a few minutes later he comes knocking on your door with a bag of what you soon find out is some medical supplies - bandages, plasters, rubbing alcohol and some other supplies you guess is for cleaning wounds. 

Calls you a dumbass the whole time but in a low-key lovingly sort of way. 

Okay but seriously though, if you got hurt due to recklessness expect him to talk your ear off the whole time - he doesn’t care if you think you’re being heroic, because you’re not gonna be a hero for very long if you get more injured than you can handle. You getting hurt is no joke to him, even if the wounds are relatively minor by comparison; even as he says this though he’s surprisingly gentle as he tends to your wounds, not being overly harsh despite the scolding tone of his words. You can tell that deep down he is genuinely concerned about your wellbeing as he patches you up, as when you hiss at the cleansing wipes he runs over your cuts you notice he pauses for a second before continuing.

He’s pretty practiced at this by comparison to the other Summoners, so it really doesn’t take very long until you’re all cleaned up and doing better than you would have been if you’d just stuck it out in your room. But don’t expect to get away without one last drawn out lecture on taking better care of yourself - you’ve only got one body and all it takes is a stray knife or the wrong place for you to get seriously hurt. It’s honestly pretty rich coming from someone who so often delves into the shadows for the sake of succeeding in battle more times than you can count; however, for what it’s worth you can tell he’s giving you this talk because he doesn’t like seeing you getting hurt, and wants to ensure that you aren’t willingly putting yourself into harm’s way - he wants you to stay safe, even if he doesn’t outwardly say tell you that.

Gullinbursti

I mean usually Gull’s the one who ends up getting hurt barging in to take the fall in your stead, so when you end up coming back home covered in scratches and bruises it likely happened when he wasn’t around to intervene. Needless to say, he hates the sight of you injured in any way - he feels as though he’s failed to fulfill his purpose to keep you protected from harm, and you’re honestly surprised to see just how distressed he is by you getting hurt. You get hurt all of the time, with so many close calls to your name you’re sure you’d earn an achievement or two for it - but you guess most of those instances have been while Gull wasn’t around, which explains why he gets so troubled at the sight of you standing before him, cradling a few more bruises than you’re able to cover up when you come face to face with the boar transient.

You have to really convince him that you’ll be fine without going to see anybody like a doctor or school nurse or else Gullinbursti won’t even hesitate to hoist you up into his arms and charge right over to the person who can get you healed up, be it one of the other Summoners or a medical professional. He doesn’t seem entirely convinced when you tell him that you’re fine - you just need to grab a couple things you’d stashed away specifically for these instances and once you’re finished you’ll be right as rain...minus the scratches, of course. Similar to Ryota, he hovers around you whilst you’re cleaning yourself up, looking for an opportunity to aid you in some way, whether that’s going out to retrieve something or holding things for you while you move to grab the next things you need. It’s actually pretty cute seeing him trying to dote on you, watching you clean yourself up and bristling when you grit your teeth as you apply the disinfectant.

In your opinion, you do a pretty bang up job of bandaging yourself up, though as you’re putting the last of the plasters on your palm you feel the back of his hand brush against the side of you, stopping just short of one of the particularly nasty bruises you’ve got blossoming across the skin. When you tilt your head to face him and ask him what’s wrong he wonders aloud if you’re in pain - it makes you pause, because you’d be lying if you said they didn’t feel at least uncomfortable, so instead of answering you lean over and pat his cheek, assuring him that you’re okay and that he doesn’t need to worry in the hopes to reassure him.

Agyo

Agyo absolutely panics when you come through the guildhouse door all busted up and bruised. When did you get hurt?! It couldn’t have been close to the guild, the little lion dog takes guarding the safehouse seriously, so surely he’d have spotted you while he was out making sure everything outside was okay! You’re covered in scratches and bruises when you stumble into the room and greet the fluffy transient, and the poor boy just about faints at the sight of you grinning as you rub at the side of your face where you’re supporting a particularly large bruise, half-heartedly whining about how it stings and how you were so sure you could have dodged the hit. Agyo really wishes someone else was here, someone who has a good enough idea on how to take care of you when you’re hurt; since he’s the only one around at the time he decides to take the situation into his own paws, ushering you further inside the room so that he can get a proper look at just how bad the damage is, getting frustrated when you try to tell him that it’s really not that big of a deal.

He tries to put on a brave face but you can tell that he’s really worried - your injuries are only scrapes and bruises at worst, but you’ve got a hell of a lot of them. Agyo has the least amount of experience with dealing with injuries; he’s gotten hurt before back in Wa No Kuni, and he’s also seen people coming to the shrine sick or injured but it was always his grandpa who took care of those duties while Agyo got things to help. So Agyo plays to his strengths, and remembering some of the things he’d seen used before, brings out the first aid kit for you to use, hoping that whatever’s inside will help in some way. Most of them don’t even need anything to cover, with only a few cuts actually managing to break the skin, but for the sake of easing his nerves you humor him a little and cover as many as you’re able. 

Most of your fingers are covered in plasters by the time you’re done, with them having received the brunt of the damage at the time, and you hold them up for him to see, waggling your fingers as if to show him that you’re all better. It does seem to do the trick, as at the sign of your plaster-covered hands he huffs and plops down to sit beside you, shaking his head as he asks you how you even ended up like this - surely you didn’t run headfirst into trouble, right?...right? When you don’t answer him, instead feigning ignorance and whistling as you look away, the poor lion dog gives you an exasperated look and starts persistently prying for answers, grumbling about losing guardian points when the sight of him getting so riled up makes you laugh a little.

[loxxxlay]

actually one brief rant -- it is interesting because i feel like a lot of the ragnarok discourse is characterized by: an emotionally explosive reaction to one very specific scene while ignoring the smaller, less emotionally jarring scenes that give a much broader context.

so on the surface those anti-ragnarok posts look like a really good analysis - because they ARE a really good analysis.... of that one specific scene.

but in divorcing that scene from the context, the analyzer betrays their own agenda.... similar to the way cancel culture will alienate one single line from its context to paint a certain picture of a person (though ofc less amoral considering this is fiction)

and its like... i get it. because that One Scene or that other One Scene evoked such emotion in you that, of course, it became ur center of focus.. whereas the scenes that didnt evoke emotion for u are harder to remember. but see, that is the exact textbook definition of Bias, and good analysis strives to find some level of objectivity (an impossible standard for us humans but makes for more compelling arguments when we try).

like i often try to say, the movie doesnt care how u feel about it. the movie doesnt give a shit if u liked it or didnt like it. the movie only cares about its own universe and its own metric and its own logic. the movie only cares about how its different little aspects build upon each other into a whole. the movie only cares about how it was trying to make u feel.

understanding what it was trying to do AND whether or not it was working is the building block to good analysis. and ragnarok discourse talks a lot about how it wasn't working... but NOT a lot about what it was trying to do.

for example (note: i dont feel this way, just giving an objective alternate perspective to show how this might work), good anti ragnarok discourse might take my recently reblogged post and say "the scene before the elevator was thor trying to open a conversation with loki to apologize about the hurt he had caused, but that scene wasnt very emotionally compelling or memorable bc of the fact that it was happening adjacent to a distracting fight sequence. later, it fell even more flat because the obedience disc scene contradicted many of thor's statements and was a lot more emotionally arousing and evisceral - thus, it was more memorable in comparison, making the earlier scene feel inadequate"

but instead all we see is "wow thor electrocuted his brother after centuries of already dominating him pre-thor; what a fucking ableist movie" ... which like sure, its a valid take for that scene if you would like to argue it (note: pls dont where i can see it T.T) but like... pre-thor is a context from a long time ago and another movie... is that pre-thor context relevant to this scene, according to the movie's intent? if so, then how did this scene remind you of it? what specific techniques did the movie use to bring it up for you?

like... we dont watch a movie scene about a girl getting chocolate cake for her birthday and think "omg this scene is conveying Abuse bc *i* dont like chocolate cake and forcing me to eat chocolate cake on my bday would be abusive." we consider the girl's reaction to the cake. we consider the narrative's opinion on what chocolate cake means in this specific context.

AND ITS TOTALLY VALID to be like "well even tho the movie is telling The Story of a Good Bday Party, i kinda wish they had writen a story about an abusive bday party instead bc that would have fit my personal preference better and i wanted to see a story like that about these characters." but that doesnt necessarily make it an objectively bad movie*. it just means u didnt like it.

(unless u can tie it to a Commonly Done and Very Clear perpetuation to a systemic problem in society... but even then u have to do the work of proving it... and avoiding sounding like ur in favor of censorship. and im not seeing that work get done very compellingly either.)

and i know the above examples are a BIT of an overexaggeration... but it's to help ppl get practice in seeing what this shit looks like for when its NOT so obvious. next time u see an anti-ragnarok (hell even a pro-ragnarok) post, consider not only what the poster is saying but also what they are NOT saying. which scenes are they NOT bringing up? are any of those scenes relevant? do any of those scenes possibly change the meaning of the post or add complexity? what made those scenes succeed or not succeed depending on ur opinion? and i guarantee that u will either start to see massive holes in their arguments or at least start to see places where u can ADD to their arguments constructively so that they stop leaning so aggressively into anti-other-ppl's-opinions territory idk

tldr; maybe id be more down to read ragnarok discourse more if it literally followed the Supporting Evidence -> Alternate Take -> Rebuke format that our poor english professors begged us to learn and we ignored... instead of this, like, total echo chamber of biased thoughts.

[smalltragedy]

* ryan destiny, cis woman + she/her | you know kira blake, right? they’re twenty four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ever? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to babooshka by kate bush like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole lazily stretched out in a ray of light, daisy shaped irises and daisy chain braids, performing an intricate dance to move the ocean's waves thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 22, est, they/them )

hllo ive hd kira in my head fr a bit bt i also know ntohing abt her! this is me winging it even though i hv no right to <3 this is my third character maybe whose birthday is in honor of ella n coincidentally 2/3 of them r in this rp. yea im messy smirks sexily.

DEATH, GRIEF, DRUGS TW

mini playlist.

wuthering heights ;; kate bush / babooskha ;; kate bush / dreams ;; fleetwood mac / california dreamin’ ;; the mamas & the papas / lavender moon ;; haroula rose / time of the season ;; the zombies / after the storm ;; kali uchis / left hand free ;; alt-j / always forever ;; cults / wait a minute! ;; willow / your dog ;; soccer mommy.

statistics.

full name: kira blake

nickname(s): keely.

birthday: october 31st, 1996.

zodiac: scorpio sun, cancer moon, aquarius ascending. 

mbti & temperament: esfp & catalyst / sanguine. 

label: the ebullient.

sexuality: bisexual.

pinterest.

biography.

born to two original hippies which hs pretty much set up who kira is fr the rest of her life <3 the type of ppl who didnt like the boundaries of marriage n held off frm it fr as long as possible until theyd hd a spur of the moment elopement involving a celebrity impersonator at fannie’s <3 yea theyre lesbians lets go <3

nvr rly took things srsly until kira ws like 5 yrs old n then they were like ah gee ah fuck we probably shld probably settle settle. n they job hopped n worked many odd jobs until they found their footing in careers they liked n one of them probably does like. blown glass art. n the other prob fixes old computers n other ~vintage~ mementos of the past fr ppl.

they make a decent living n they live in delpinius heights n they try a few times fr another kid bt it nvr rly works out (raises an eyebrow. adopted siblings anyone?) n fr the most part kira as a child spends her time running around town and tugging on the hem of other’s shirts to ask them small favors (mostly to play a game with her)

often left unsupervised as a kid, bt not in the way tht her parents dnt care (bc her parents love her a lot a lot a lot like she is their world) bt in the way tht they simply raised her the way they were raised. running amuck all day n coming home jst in time fr dinner, front porch light always on, cat always waiting faithfully on their stoop.

pretty evident frm a young age tht kira’s mind saw things differently, in a different light - the world an array of light n mystery n sound n taste n sometimes those collided n created new experiences. prob hs some form of synsthesia bt dnt ask me which one yet. she’s a painting prodigy with an excellent understanding of color theory.

always ws known as a kind of like. rambunctious kid. a well meaning class clown who cld nt keep her mouth shut fr the life of her. grew up constantly with a yellow card beneath her name in school bt ws always well liked by her teachers n classmates alike.

jst a very bright child who did well naturally bt always ws turned more towards art.

feel like her parents very noticeably turned a cheek when she started smoking weed w the cool older kids when she ws 13. the type of person who wnts 2 b liked so bad she’d jump over a hurdle fr it. hs jumped over many hurdles n many fences n many other obstacles to be liked bt does it without breaking a sweat.

(edit: nw tht i think abt it hwevr i dnt think she does tht anymore i think while a bit of a mess atm she. likes herself. n doesnt rly want or need the approval of others anymore she jst does her own little thing. bt when she ws younger? she jst wnted 2 b friends w the entire world.)

nothing bad rly happened fr like. a good bit of her life. got into psychedelics at some point in high school n tht only heightened her artistic abilities. most of her high school art portfolio ws probably done while high bt <3 does it matter.

hd a high school sweetheart n they were pretty serious like. full on in love. a total believer of soulmates kira ws jst like. this is the one. there is nobody else i cn imagine my life with.

death tw

death tw

death tw.

death n grief tw // yea. sometime during their freshmen year of college. car incident. kira ws nvr the same though she’d like to pretend tht nothing’d ever happened. like theyd nvr existed. like she didnt plan out their entire lives together hiking thru hills n valleys n boating across various bodies of water n traveling together until they were old n wrinkly. end of death tw //

cld nt explain 2 u why kira hd bought a van n completely demolished it only to drain all of her savings remodeling it bt nw she lives in it by the beach. hd dreams of travelling the world bt cannot go long distances in a car without feeling sick. sees planes n feels envy. stopped painting fr a long time bt she’s started back up recently. took on surfing. told her parents tht it ws fine n tht she ws fine n theyre concerned bt shes always by the beach, her van rarely leaves. she’s trying her best bt its only been a few yrs n i think ppl cn sense tht shes jst nt the same cheerful girl as they once knew. end of grief tw //

anyways. tugs on my collar. tht’s kira! she lives on the beach n surfs everyday n is obsessed with daisies n is prob growing her own shrooms somewhere. 

personality & facts.

always been very emotional n a little dramatic. nt a drama queen bt is a little messy n does not hv like. many rational thoughts up in there. very cup full or cup empty.

regardless though she hs an. overall reputation fr jst being. enjoyable to be around. her her little moments bt shes also pretty like. laidback. in a way. KDSHFSDLKHGHFLKSD

prob bc she smokes a lot or is often <3 on a trip if u know wht i mean <3

god. got obsessed with the 60s n 70s aesthetic at some point n hs not gone back evr. big fan of psychedelic rock. is a prodigy painter bt her life dream outside of traveling ws always to own her own record label. hs nt happened yet, maybe will never happen? works at a record shop though n does hide the good vinyls tht she wants away frm the customers.

very cheerful n usually uplifting n she doesnt like to b negative around others bt smtms she cnt control it n smtms thinks tht ppl r out 2 get her jst out of. anxiety. hs long bouts where she’ll sit in a still sort of sadness n then shake out of it n hop back into conversation like nothing’s happened bt. its fine we’re fine kira is fine.

shes not gullible or naive bt wants to believe tht everybody hs a heart of gold even if its false. keeps giving ppl second chances bc she hs a savior complex n thinks she cn change ppl.

is very into zodiac n will judge u by ur chart. knows everybody in town’s natal chart. even newcomers. it’s a little scary hw quick she finds this information bt its very important to her.

kind of like. into spirituality bt i wont lie its very surface level n a little superficial. learning tarot cards bt cannot fr the life of her memorize the meanings so smtms she jst makes up things on the spot. hs so many crystals she will not stop buying them.

i think a part of her is desperately trying to cling onto tht like. think positive. self care. msg thts super prevalent online without addressing or actually helping any of her problems. it is her flaw </3

hates to admit when she needs help. wld rather do everything herself.

head is a little in the clouds n her parents r a little concerned fr her bc shes nt rly doing much rn bt like. she jst needs time i think. shes jst doing her little thing.

does not give up on ppl easily she absolutely hates dropping ppl frm her life even if she grows 2 resent them over time which is bad bc she is bad at hiding when she is upset at someone or when she doesnt like someone.

like shes jst passive aggressive abt it n does not properly communicate <3

bt this is rare i think ... negative feelings abt other ppl

self centered bt not selfish if tht makes sense. she will do things fr others without a problem n sometimes trips over herself 2 do it bt at the end of the day i think she cares abt herself the most.

hs only been in love once bt hs hd many infatuations n many like. admirations n very surface level feelings. her body is a temple n she loves 2 b worshipped.

prob does fkn. beach yoga. probably vegan bt also maybe breaks tht every once in a while. almost noncommittal its hard 2 distinguish between her being carefree, not taking care of herself, or jst hving commitment issues? flaky or not? who knows.

feels jst a bit too strongly bt tries to contain it. jst full of multitudes or smth. idk. icon <3

like. cares bt doesnt care. does thinks tht r purposely self destructive n then acts like shes like. cool girl monologue frm gone girl. bt does it while being like peace n luv on earth x

ok thts all i hv goodbye

wanted plots.

a pseudonym 2 fool ‘em... ;; jst hd this idea pop up bt i like the idea of kira going undercover 2 expose cheaters. whether she does this on her own accord or is personally requested by smbdy is up in the air. a plottable point. she h8s cheaters n is chaotic good she prob thinks shes the relationship vigilante testing the strengths of other’s relationships. once again she cld b. specifically going undercover fr smbdy 2 help them out. im sure she wldnt go 2 very. extensive srs measures like actually. sleeping w the assumed-cheaters bt once again. world is our oyster n i lov drama?

crystal visions ... ;; once again. shes super into crystals n astrology n she will base sm of her opinions of others on it. this is nt just abt her being judgmental of others bt also jst. catching her running around in the rain trying sooo hard 2 fkn. charge her crystals in the rainwater bc she forgot 2 charge them under the full moon the night b4. this is her giving wrong tarot readings. she hs no idea wht shes doing at any given time bt acts like she does know. acts like she knows the entire world. she gives crystals as gifts n will do ur natal chart for u bt will also pack her things n leave if ur a capricorn.

time of the season... ;; i dnt knw admittedly. this song’s abt being horny so perhaps? perhaps. kira isnt rly able to keep a grasp on long term relationships rn due to. factors in her life so she hops frm person 2 person often. smtms jst flings smtms its jst a relationship accidentally led on. shes noncommittal n a little flaky atm when she’s usually ride or die fr others. perhaps this is all in the name of some good fun! world? oyster. 

literally anything .dsfskhdkgs ;; god. shes so new i jst dnt know. childhood friends. current friends. friends shes hd frever. enemies n ex lovers n ppl shes constantly pushing away or scorned lovers or both or anything?? she pushed them out of the roller rink to make more room fr herself or maybe they did tht to her. perhaps theyre both constantly pursuing some sort of fkn. meaning in their lives tht they cnt quite grasp. mayb they go on an acid trip together. who knows. 

[blueoatmeal]

what do they eat????

the surface culture in KATAOW is Very Strange, and part of that strangeness is what people eat

when there was only one sapient species on the planet, humans, it was easy to draw the line between what was morally okay to eat and what wasn’t. broadly speaking, anyway. Don’t eat other humans; why? because they’re sapient. they’re people. just about everything else is fair game. humans will eat anything

not very complicated. and generally when humans thought about hypothetical other sapient species, whether they be mutants or aliens or whatever, they usually came to a similar conclusion: despite being a different species, the other sapients are still sapient, still people, and so would be off-limits, if they did exist. the What Measure is a Non Human trope does start to come into play here, because it is easier to question a being’s sapience if they are different from humans. But generally speaking, to humans, sapient = not a menu item

Here’s where things get complicated.

In KATAOW, humans are no longer the only sapient species on the planet. Far from it, in fact. I can name about thirteen just off the top of my head.

Now, if they were aliens, they’d have come from their own entirely separate ecosystem. Usually in media there is an unspoken “one sapient species per origin planet” rule. This rule is rarely broken. this wouldn’t be a problem, as long as all the sapient species agreed to not eat any other sapients. The more there are, the less likely this is to happen, but it’s not too much of a stretch to imagine, as humans usually do, that assuming the alien sapients have their own supporting ecosystems already, they could all agree not to eat each other, as a moral compromise if nothing else; a truce of sorts, a show of respect

Well. the new sapient species in KATAOW are not aliens. 

They mutated, or evolved, from existing species in Earth’s ecosystem. In many cases (but not all) they seem to have entirely replaced their ancestors. For example, the Timbercats are the only example of modern ex-domesticated felines. There are no little kitties that can fit in a shoebox. None. None that we’ve seen, and Benson implies there aren’t any.

With birds, however, it’s different. We see examples of wild bird mutes (Beakbeak), and sapient bird mutes (Hummingbird Bombers). Is this distinction based on individual species? I don’t know.

In an inversion of the cat situation, the bunnies, or rather, megabunnies we see, are the only bunnies we see. But is it possible that there is now also a branched-off separate sapient species of bunny that we just haven’t met? I don’t know.

What causes some creatures to develop sentience, and others not to? They all seem to have changed in some way, but only some are intelligent now. Why? I don’t know. Humans seem to have, generally, been exempt from the mass mutation event. As we learn more about the world, this information may change, but this is what we know now.

Regardless, the fact remains that the creatures, the fauna of the world changed drastically, and with that change their needs changed too. Many plants and I would have to assume fungi and bacteria, archea, viruses, etc. have thankfully ALSO changed drastically. Is the ecosystem balanced, then, after such a drastic disruption? I’m not sure. The mutated life survived for 200 years though, so the environment coped well enough not to just kill everything, at least.

But still, food. Balanced or not, stuff definitely changed.

Let’s get the humans out of the way because they’re simpler:

Something happened to drive the humans underground, leaving a lot of food behind. They stay down there, so obviously they found ways to grow and hunt food down underground. If we can do it on Mars, a burrow is no problem. Humans were already eating whatever they wanted, so not much changed. And unless a lot has changed over 200 years, humans would still be averse to eating other sapient species. That’s been our history.

There are a few humans on the surface. Wolf implies that she won’t eat a mute if it’s sapient, when she first catches Mandu. Wolf and Benson seem to live off of old abandoned human food and non-sapient mutes. This works fine because there’s only a few surface humans; otherwise the supply of abandoned food would quickly run dry.

And that’s it for humans. 

Non-sapient mutes will eat whatever, regardless of sapience. Beakbeak doesn’t care that his prey is intelligent. He’s an animal in the traditional sense of the word. Wild animals continue to be wild animals, just like before the mutation. Nothing new there.

But the sapient mutes? The sapient mutes are weird.

Just so we’re on the same page, here are a few sapient mutes we know:

The Mod Frogs, the Newton Wolves, the Hummingbird Bombers, the raccoons, the Dubstep Bees, the Scooter Skunks, the rats, some elephants, that waterbear/tardigrade guy, our insect bud Dave, the Snäkes, the Timbercats, Scarlemagne and his assorted primate gang, and those rodent ppl in Umlaut Valley--prairie dogs? Punk Prairie Dogs? Etc.

Quick note, there are a few that are questionable mostly for lack of information (Mandu, dragonflies, flies) and I’ll touch on them later. For now we’re working with indisputably fully-sapient mutes.

So.

Obviously their diets changed from their wild ancestors’, but I think we can assume that generally, their broad dietary range didn’t change. Strict herbivores are still built to handle plants only. There’s no reason their digestive systems and various feeding adaptations would have changed that drastically.

Herbivores? Probably mostly still herbivores. The Dubstep Bees seem to still rely on plant products, and don’t care for meat. Elephants are also obligate herbivores, and we see some with, what, some popcorn and cotton candy? That tracks.

For the sake of simplicity, I’ll be glossing over the fact that most carnivores I know do occasionally eat a bit of plant and can thus be considered technical omnivores. That’s not relevant right now. There are plenty of plants and none of the plants are intelligent, so there isn’t an issue.

Omnivores need a bit of both. Raccoons, rats, and skunks are our best examples. They have plants, so that’s fine. There seems to be enough variety of non-sapient mute prey for them too. These mutes are urban too, so just as their ancestors did, they supplement their diets with human food. There is no need for them to eat sapient mutes, and as far as I can tell, they don’t. I’m pretty sure most primates fall under this category too. Insects vary, but Dave seems to be an omnivore. Wikipedia tells me tardigrades go here as well.

There are some animals that are generally herbivores but occasionally eat meat, like Hummingbirds, but again, there seems to be plenty to go around, and no reason for those few meaty meals to be sapient mutes.

Carnivores. Yeah. I’ve been waiting the whole essay to write this part. Who’s left? The Mod Frogs, the Newton Wolves, the Snäkes, and the Timbercats. If they can’t eat meat on the regular, they just can’t survive.

The Newton Wolves, Timbercats, and  Snäkes express their willingness to eat humans. The Snäkes also are implied to be regularly eating sapient prairie dogs. The Newton Wolves are known to hunt and eat Mod Frogs and humans. These are all hard facts.

Little bit more speculative here: The Timbercats, like irl cats, would probably be more keen on eating Snäkes if they weren’t so venomous. I don’t think they’d be opposed to it though. The Snäkes are large enough that wolf could potentially be a menu option. Wolves have historically been known to eat cats and snakes, so their sapient counterparts are probably fair game too. I don’t think the cats would want to eat wolves, though that thought is based largely on size and the fact that irl domestic cats don’t hunt irl wolves. Could they? Sure. I just don’t think they’d go for it when there are other options. Likewise, various omnivores would be considered prey to various carnivores, with practical and historical considerations determining their exact place on the food chain. Snakes and cats regularly eat frogs irl, so that’s that on that.

You may have sussed out my main driving question by now, but before I get to that, let’s take a little detour: humans as prey

No animal specifically hunts humans in the wild. We are not the prime prey animal of any species. Well, besides some bacteria, and a few parasites, but until we see a sapient bacteria or tapeworm, that’s not relevant. But these new mutated species, much larger and more intelligent than their ancestors, seem to see humans as just another prey option. And rightfully so! We are bald primates, just clever little mammals. Heck, even the rats are bigger than us now! If a mute would eat a rat, how different would human be? Different shape, but otherwise? Not much! I’m just saying I get it. Humans have been established as equal to other sapient mutes, and susceptible to the organization of the food chain in a way we’ve never been before. We’re not special anymore. We’re not even in power! We’re in hiding!

Now I don’t know, but I have to imagine that the reason several sapient mutes are okay with eating other sapient mutes is twofold: history and demand. 

All these animals were, before mutation, accustomed to eating beings on a similar intelligence level. That was their normal. So when a few of them mutate and gain sentience, what reason should they have to stop what they’ve been doing for all of history? Inter-species communication isn’t new, just easier.

And demand? Demand is more speculative. All of the mutes are much larger than their animal ancestors. So they need more food. If their main food source grew as well, and wasn’t sapient, there’s no issue... until you keep going down the food chain and run out of what they eat, and so on... But anyway, that could be alright. No moral issue, certainly. If their main food source stayed small (intelligent or not tbh), there’s going to be a food shortage for the predator.

This is all VERY simplified, btw, ecology is complex as hell and I could spend years mapping out all the causes and effects here

Back to the point: if there’s a food shortage, you either find a solution or die. Predators are probably gonna want to hunt prey of an appropriate size. So they either find different prey, change their preferences, adapt as many animals have had to do for ages. Difficult sometimes, and a hassle, but doable. OR... if their prey did grow, but also gained sapience? Screw the morals, which are historically more human-based anyway, and eat them. For both prey and predator, it’s not very different from what they’re used to. It’s not new.

Alright. That all makes sense to me. So what’s the problem? What’s that big question? I’ll tell you what’s been bugging me:

What the fuck are the Mod Frogs eating!?

“Well Blue,” you might say, “Just big insects and stuff, right? There are dragonflies and flies in the show. Why should the frogs be any different from the other predators in the show?”

They shouldn’t be any different, by the logic of this whole essay, but they are.

All the other animals, I’ve been able to find reasonable food sources for. But then the frogs subvert the whole thing by having dragonflies and flies working for them. The two most obvious and recognizable prey animals for frogs. So, are they in some kind of weird servant-prey Stockholm syndrome relationship?

Okay, possibly. I don’t have any data to disprove that. But it doesn’t fit with the rest of the kataow vibe and also I don’t like it. Like, the predator and prey stuff I can understand, but that is a special kind of fucked up, sapient or otherwise.

So if not that, then that’s gotta mean the frogs aren’t eating them, right? Okay, that makes some sense, I mean, they use the dragonflies for transportation and the flies are?? Also transportation????? Or assistants??? Its unclear. How that arrangement came about, I don’t know. 

Are the flies and dragonflies sapient? I’m not certain. The flies wear suits, so that’s a point for Probably Sapient. The dragonflies are largely treated as non-sapient but intelligent animals, like a domesticated horse. So maybe they’re like Mandu? Only they can speak. Dave knows and speaks their language. You don’t say “oh I speak a little Horse, lemme talk to them.” That’s not a thing. So the dragonflies for now are Probably Sapient, But It’s Complicated

Alright, alright, enough of that nonsense, there are plenty of bugs! Large ones too! And small mammals, irl frogs will eat those too! If they can get it in their mouth and it’s an animal, an irl frog will be willing to try and eat it. There’s no problem! What’s the point of this! They just eat big bugs! Just not flies because they’re sapient and--

Ah. Aha. No; see, that’s just it. Because they’re sapient. But hang on, didn’t I just say I wasn’t sure about the flies’ sapience? Yeah, I did, and I also said they probably are sapient, and even if they’re not, I have more.

ALL of the obligate carnivores in kataow reacted to Kipo’s gang in the same way; “Oh, that’s food.” And then only later, even if just a minute later, and usually reluctantly, “But maybe friends instead?” All the obligate carnivores EXCEPT for the Mod Frogs.

“That’s because humans are too big and--” Bullshit. Humans are the perfect size for mute frog prey. Sorry, that’s just a fact. And not only that, but they treat Dave and Mandu the same as the humans. Why? Why? Dave is a freaking insect!!! And the perfect size!!! And Mandu would be a great snack! Wolf almost ate Mandu, and she’s got a strict “if it talks it’s not food” policy.

Alright so I don’t have an explanation for Mandu besides “their sapience is uncertain and maybe that’s enough.” Maybe they’re too focused on the humans? I don’t know.

But Dave?????? When they captured him with Benson in the beginning, why didn’t they at least threaten to eat him??? Huh?? My proposal: because he’s sapient.

...So ...what?

So, if we go with this logic, the Mod Frogs are the only carnivores who care AT ALL about sapience of their prey. The omnivores and herbivores have the privilege of way more options, so they don’t get an opinion.

Why do the Frogs care? Why? And why is it just them?

This is where I run out of answers.

And yeah, there are probably other sufficiently-sized non-sapient prey animals for the frogs. There was a big spider and that’s probably enough proof for that point. They’re fine. They have stuff to eat.

But that doesn’t take away the fact that while they seem to choose not to eat sapient animals, none of the other carnivores do. 

Why.

Is.

That?

Jamack caught a Dubstep Bee in his mouth and what did he do?? He spit it out! Why would he do that if sapience wasn’t a factor? Why?

Seriously though if you have answers PLEASE share them with me, I am absolutely bewildered

[onf-headcanons]

YEAR END SPECIAL

(Sharing my notes that I will always refer when I write)

A/n: sorry this is not headcanon, it more like my own notes while trying to making my headcanons to be as close to their personalities shown as possible. Anyways I am open for discussion due to i am a baby fuse. And sorry if the text looks like I wrote it when I am drunk

HYOJIN

• Has temper outburst but does not mean he is a violence person. I mean this boy defo got a temper if and unless you triggered him. His temper also act as a drive and motivation for him to strive. So its not necessary a bad trait.

• Also I am not sugarcoating. I personally do think depend on situation it would be bad. But he is doing a good job controlling until now

• I think he is a more preserved person when comes to expressing affection through actions, but when it comes to verbal expressing, he is capable when he is comfortable

• Idk I think he is the type that in the inside, he differentiates types of love and relationship very well.

• I would prefer that his emotion outflow is through his actions and speech. He is a straightforward type.

• Also being perfectionist (due to his virgo moon) does not make him a super nitpicker. To emphasise this for his nagging maybe not the best way. Values effort alot, most likely because he benefited from it (cannot sing high note but he practised until he could), it became his philosophy and it immersed in the team as well. Quantity + Quality of Practise = Aiming for the Best (aka work hard)

• Possessive yes but not aggressive possessive. More like once he is used to something he will attach to it.

• Dom, yes. But not the forceful type. Also depend on horoscopes, his trait does suggest he will be dominant but he is not the "I am a guy so you listen to me" type

• Defo has his own demons or should I say rebellious against norms (his tattoos are the perfect hint imo)

CHANGYOON

• Stuttering for words does not mean he is stupid

• Also him being clumsy does not mean he is stupid too

• INFP actually is more than just being introverted and timid to interact, trust me.

• The moment he says he is an INFP and then I saw video of him showing ONF merch designs. I go aha that makes sense

• Diff pal have different way to express themselves. And diff ppl have diff best way to express themselves

• I would say its a bit of tsundere factor mixed cos like how he and Hyojin greets each other is not like hey how are you doing today, they just straight up asking each other have you eaten?

• He would choose his words wisely, but then buffering because his brain could not catch up with the nuance he wanted to express with

• Not the cold sharp tongue, he just state facts. He wanted to be precise as possible

• Not the messy clumsy type imo. I guess he will be trying to keep everything on track and under control (aka not to lose his cool) but end up getting swipe away but the mood.

SEUNGJOON

• Love to tease/prank does not make him a bully

• Not gonna glorify the term of he bully because he love you. No, he sure has his own proper way to express love and affection

• Refer to how he clings to Yuto who is his literally favourite child

• Having the devilish look does not mean he is a yandere in real life. Its just his face. But using it as a hint of his facial/body language is good idea.

• Make use of the gap of him being fond and him being serious to show its more than just surface level

• But then that devilish look like he is planning a evil plan trope should not be overused

• Bit be a tad of needy when it comes to affection and praises. Not really that he is narcissistic, because I did find he will complement the other party back. So I think he values give and take a lot

• Dom? Might be but I think is a softie warm boi inside

• Along with Hyojin, the hidden brain of the team. (Even though chaotic, these two actually are responsible of pulling the team into directions and also just watch their mafia game then you will know)

• OK even though I am more of a Hyojin bias, but I feel Seungjoon is the ace. But, I do feel he prefer to let others shine

• The type where if he admires someone he goes all in (example: Hui from PTG)

• Same as Jaeyoung, personality makes him a nice team player. Link to above to the the give and take matter. Another factor because he is also sensitive, but he can let rational to hold him back from going into the abyss of emotion pool.

JAEYOUNG

• Definitely not a himbo.

• His image/impression will let ppl very easily to categorise him without delving deeper so have to be careful.

• Sorry I will "cancel " any one that thinks he is a himbo

• Staying at overseas before does give him some insights and I think it shapes his way of interacting with people as well

• Even if he fits the big guy but also being the heart trope, it is unwise to just chain tropes dryly in him

• Its complicated imo? Like we just categorise him as the buff princess guy (gorilla and princess) just because he has the sensitive personality and coincidentally he is built than others. Outlook does not define all of him

• Reaction is not his everything. That is a hint of him actually is an expressive person. You can refer to the vlive where he talks about donating blood

• Again diff ppl have diff type of way to express themselves.

• A guy with manners yes but over perfectly gentleman who only do the giving is a no

• Writing him as a "receiving " side of all tantrums just made him into a mere sandbag. Its a no.

• This guy, is sensitive I can tell u

• He is a soft big sensitive guy

• Dom? Nah, soft dom. I don't think he is aware of it though. I think shyness will overpower

MINKYUN

• being an airhead does not mean he is stupid

• If he is he won't be writing songs and even work with Monotree.

• I am not saying he has mental issues like had weak Iq or something I am just saying diff ppl diff character diff way to react towards happenings

• And diff ppl view diff priorities as well

• I think he does not shy off expressing his love and affection towards people he likes and admires

• Like if he is really stupid, he won't ace on tricking his members during Ondaejeon sessions. Lol I am still traumatised that he is the one who slept at Hyojin's bed and poor Seungjoon gotten mistaken for being the culprit

•

YUTO

• Being quiet does not mean he is isolated. Look he can tease Seungjoon (either alone or with Hyojin joined as his comrade, refer to the vlive where prior RTK final Seungjoon asking Yuto about first impression and the recent vlive where Yuto and Hyojin just disturbs Seungjoon by playing the broadcast in front of Seungjoon), he can “aegyo” towards Jaeyoung by playfully bumping his chair towards the older person the BTS of NEW WORLD/RTK finals, there is a lot of hints that he is very comfortable with his hyungs and they dote him like their own little brother.

• I MEAN HAVE EVEN SEEN HOW ACTIVE HE IS THESE DAYS?????

• I AM SORRY TO THINK YOU ARE THE NORMAL ONE COMPARED TO YOUR HYUNGS BASED ON RTK

• But then I do think there is a lot he need to catch up on

• Maybe it's just recently he let himself go and allowed himself to be comfortable. ( kinda like Minghao)

• Once comfortable he starts to express himself and with his recent activeness, he found out what to define himself easier

• So again being quiet does not mean don't have a character. It might surprise you that this type of people sometimes come out as the type that values communication the most. Link to above, should he does not have that, I don't think his hyungs will just listen blankly. He sure has something his hyungs trust and willing to listen him to.

• Has his fair share of being observant. If not he won't be coaching/giving heads up to his hyungs during rtk stage dance practices

• Still have room for growth even though already do well.

• I also think he has a perfect sense of direction too.

ONF

• If they don't have a common goal or insight, I don't think they can even come to together. They trust each other and acknowledge each other. (Honestly they are very very different ppl)

• They truly live up to Changyoon's tattoo, work hard play hard.

[crossdressingdeath]

I've seen ppl say that emotionally JC and WWX's relationship was deeper than LWJ and WWX's. I wonder how many ppl think abt WWX giving up his core to JC to make him survive, as he promised to his parents as touching. Yeah sure, JC is filled with enough vitriol that his relationship with anyone would seem like that, especially WWX who is the MC whose pov we get. Another thing is WWX seems to have positive emotions towards JYL and LWJ. *

But seeing the emotional ups and downs in his relationship with JC being described as deep is just 😑 It's deep in complexity in the sense till the temple scene everyone assumes he hates WWX, which he does, but it's another layer that he's butthurt WWX broke his promise of being his subordinate. Comparing this to WangXian though... Why compare platonic and romantic relationships, they're on a different level.

I mean, platonic and romantic relationships can be very close in terms of intimacy, it’s just different types of intimacy (usually). But yeah, the relationship between Yunmeng bros is... complicated, sure, but there’s a difference between ‘complicated’ and ‘deep’. It’s complicated in that there’s a lot of trouble between them and the tug of war between resentment and affection and of course JC being awful, but that doesn’t make it deep. It’s a fairly surface-level relationship; WWX loves his brother. JC resents WWX while still holding some affection for him. What you see is what you get. Meanwhile Wangxian is like... okay, my brain isn’t online enough today to put it into words but it’s deep, it’s this multilayered adoration and trust and affection that is an undercurrent throughout the entire story, it’s... Yunmeng bros aren’t even in the same league.

[tatertotthethot]

Haaay Baaaeee, ew that was cringe 😂 OK so, I feel kinda beat down at the moment? Today is one of those days where I'm sick in bed and just binge watching YouTube and I stumbled across this channel that did a watch/read review on After(that Harry Style's FanFic turned book turned movie series) now I've never been into it but it's a solid over 30min long video and I wanted to kill time, so I'm watching it. I made the mistake of reading through the comments as the reviewer was on a tangent about the book and I started reading people saying a lot of nasty things about FanFic writers. And specifically people who write fanfic about real people. I even saw some recently comments about BTS in there and I just couldn't switch off my phone and stop reading. I dabble in writing myself and it just broke me down. Are we really that creepy and wrong for writing and enjoying fanfic over really people? (in this case BTS) They were bashing everyone from OC's, Self-inserts, shipping EVERYTHING. I felt so gross seeing so many people indirectly (but very much directly?) felt about me, my mutuals and people I look up to in the fanfic community. I even saw some fanfic writers saying how much better they are because they only write about fictional characters not real life people! Sorry just feeling really blue about this and it's just brought a whole new level of self doubt on me and what I enjoy 😣

Oof I remember reading “After” when it was growing popular on Wattpad and I only read it cuz of its clout and... no hate.. but I still can’t believe they made until a movie even though it’s a lot different than the book lol. But Omg I know exactly what you’re talking about and yes it pisses me off too. It’s local mentality tbh lol. I know some people write fan fiction just for smut but that’s merely on the surface— if they actually dug deeper into the millions of literal stories that star idols without automatically deeming it as “creepy” then they’ll be able to detach the actual persona away from the character and realize it’s just a way of using a persons face and name, and the inspiration from an idol that we love and support and interpreting that into something we’re more passionate about. Mostly just using the “idea” of them as a way to excorsize our creative writing skills. They’ll also see that when an idol is used as the main character in these stories than it’s already 10 times easier to visualize their characteristics and become invested being as they’re already familiar— and it makes the story itself all the more riveting. But what they don’t realize or seem to even care about us that at the end of the day, fan fiction ain’t hurting nobody. I see that shit on Twitter all the time. If we’re not getting criticized for writing famfics in general then we’ll get criticized about how we portray them. Ironically one of my favorite nsfw artists threw shade at writers here recently saying that it’s so unappealing and unrealistic when they see a certain member smoking cigarettes and having a bad attitude and I sooo badly wanted to point out how ironic it was that someone who can draw a member getting fucked by a 6 dick’d incubus clone of himself, draw the line at bad boy tropes that smoke cigarettes in fanfics and basically say that it’s ridiculous and therefore “off putting”. Like if it’s not your cup of tea fine, but for some reason I was under the impression that they were apart of a judgemental free zone as they could empathize enough to not bash other people’s form of creativeness just because it doesn’t appeal to them? At least not publicly, on an account with hella followers that has a good bit of writers following them? But thankfully I had already seen people say that a character is a character and doesn’t have to be true to the actual person, and that’s something that also needs to be said to ppl who frown upon fanfic writers in general. Don’t generalize an entire group based off the little bit of cringe shit you’ve read. There’s THOUSANDS of us fanfic writers that blow after clear out of the water but they’re too stuck up to give it a chance. I get soooo fucking heated cuz I never see any YouTuber hyping up good content, they just find the worst ones to shit on for clout. Fuck those people.

[mnogorgannik]

2 10 n 11 :)

this is basically an essay im so sorry. watch how hard i can infodump (ill put this under a cut hopefully it works bc sometimes tumblr decimates the keep reading things if theyre in asks)

2. Who’s your favorite of the Bound? What do you think of the different ideologies they have? Which of the factions are you most aligned with?

WE ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER I AM A PETER LOVER THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!!!! oh baby i love that morally questionable architect. pretty early on in getting into pathologic (it’s coming up on a year now...) i thought about peter stamatin too hard and now i’m here. but really i find him to be such a fascinating character!

the thing about pathologic that i love is how almost every character can be as complex as you want. pathologic does an excellent job of implying a lot of character traits while only exploring some in further detail, which in some games is frustrating but patho does it so well! it consistently hints at traits and lets you fill in the details yourself. peter’s character is extremely interesting to me... and maybe a little more relatable at times than i want to admit lol.

i think i’ll talk about both stamatins though! their dynamic hurts me a lot. i’ll start with andrey bc i’ve been thinking about him lately. although i’ll bounce back and forth between both stamatins.

i’ve said this before but i’ll say it again.... andrey’s role as a protector who inadvertently hurts the people he cares about really gets to me. he is not a shield but, in his own words, a battering ram. and the problem is that battering ram has a recoil.

i have to wonder how that mentality of his came about, anyways. the implication is that it’s always just been him and peter, so did he take on that role because there wasn’t anyone else to do it?

in his efforts to protect peter from... military, i believe, he kills four people. which leads to daniil getting mistaken for andrey, which leads to daniil getting shot. and almost dying. he protects peter but to a smothering extent, peter even says he’s been suffering for ten years bc of andrey which is a LOADED line. he protects on a physical level but he kinda fucks up on the emotional.

there’s a horrible irony in peter and eva being the people he cares about the most and both attempting suicide. with eva once she’s missing he immediately goes running off trying to look for her, and . ahh i can’t remember right off hand what exactly he thought happened. but ik he was probably expecting a fight. with peter he says that after that he’ll never let peter leave his side, at least “as far as his knife can fly”... it sounds cheesy but the one thing he can’t save anyone from is themself.

and god the way andrey bases his ENTIRE sense of self worth on peter fucking hurts. they’re not peter and andrey, the architects. they’re Peter And Andrey, The Architect. (thinking about “one architect, two brothers” here.) andrey thinks he’s larger than life and all but he’s constantly living in peter’s shadow. their theatre of death positions come to mind here, with peter standing up, looking down at andrey. but andrey is on his knees in front of peter, arms limp to his sides.... separated by a wooden beam...

peter’s side of this dynamic is fascinating too. his dependency on andrey is. ow. leaving all practical matters and decision making to him... there’s this resentment (That’s Fine I’ve Been Suffering For Ten Years Because Of Him) and lack of communication that especially shows through for him.

while in p2 andrey completely crumbles if peter dies, peter doesn’t seem to care...... at all....?? which hopefully is elaborated upon in p2. he’s willing to talk to aspity about worrying if andrey is angry with him but he can’t bring it up with andrey himself. when he asks how andrey is doing he stops and says andrey is a “tough man” and can handle anything. in general, while it’s definitely there for andrey, themes of dependency are really glaringly obvious for peter.

one of my favorite peter things i’ve talked about before is still his ego!!! peter has a gigantic ego!!! he really does think that even though he’s hit the ceiling and can’t go any further he is still “a true architect” and “the rock upon which is built the stairway to tomorrow”. he has a blunt edge to him and he doesn’t ever tell you more than he thinks he needs to which i love. if he doesn’t want to tell you something he isn’t gonna do it. this is a character trait i think ppl miss which is sad because it’s so good and adds another layer of depth to him!

it really does hurt me how he’s valued for his mind alone (AHEM AHEM AHEM. GEORGIY) but it’s the thing nobody understands about him. i’m nowhere near as smart as peter lol but i do know that pain of feeling like none of your ideas can be understood because you just can’t express them the way you’d like, and then feeling like you’ll never be able to make it happen.

also, here’s a little thing  i’ve picked up on. this connection probably doesn’t exist but i’m making it because the stamatins make me lose my mind and start becoming one of those people who looks for connections in everything i guess. peter standing in the theatre of death, andrey below him. peter’s loft being at a high point in the town, the broken heart being underground. peter’s loft is also higher north on the map but the broken heart is lower south. just smth interesting

i have more thoughts on them of course! but this is all getting awfully long. i feel like i’ve only just gotten to the tip of the iceberg  even though i’ve written so much skfjskfjs this just feels quite surface level or. at least what is surface level for me who thinks about the stamatins so hard.

anyways i’ll keep my answers to the other two parts of this question quick! peter and andrey’s more creative vs practical mindsets are rly neat. especially because i would actually argue peter is a little more grounded in reality in certain aspects. not all, but certain ones...... their take on the utopian ideology is interesting. hot take: peter’s version of utopianism leans a tad towards humility. and andrey /does/ feel “straightforward utopian” but i think in certain regards? this man has a bit of a termite streak..... (hi al if you’re reading this). but i won’t get into that right now i’ve already gone on so long. saving that for later.

i think all of the factions kinda suck in their own way sometimes, honestly? although all of them are well written and have their pros and cons. were i in pathologic and i had to choose one i’d probably be a termite but everyone around me seems to think i’m a utopian. is it bc i love peter so much

10. What would you be like as a Pathologic character?

this question is a hard one! i did make a self insert once, mile-a-minute, but they’ve become their own oc by now. i think i’d be very...... very afraid...... probably isolating myself why does every pathologic character break quarantine???? also you could trade beetles with me :) thats about all i’ve got sorry this is real short

11. What is something you would change, writing-wise, about either game?

UGH i’ve been gushing about pathologic because. obviously i love this game so much. but the way it handles racism & such (in both games!) leaves much to be desired :/

i see a lot of the points it’s trying to make but i think the way they’re handled can be very messy. there are moments that work very well but. a lot that don’t. (i am aware that dybowski writes partially from his own experiences)

all too often the game “validates” the kin’s oppression and... at times paints them as oddly antagonistic? i don’t like how often as artemy you’re able to be like “i’m not one of those beasts” and i think there are better ways to touch on his internalized racism. in general the constant comparisons to animals is weird. you get big vlad who is obviously explicitly racist comparing them to animals, but then sometimes it’s like “ACTUALLY calling them animals is fine :)”

i think the herb brides are kind of. Hm. in their portrayal. also using parts of the buryat alphabet to denote an accent is weird. making odongh and herb brides inhuman is weird. connecting the kin to Magic is weird.

and, listen, i’d really like to not be playing Artemy Burakh Experiences a Microaggression Simulator every time i’m playing the haruspex route. hate that you either can’t call ppl out on their shit or if you can it ends the conversation/bars you from getting necessary information. glad you at least get to drag the vlads, i guess?

i also was talking about this but wrt peter specifically, and this issue is present throughout the game but it’s especially visible with peter, i don’t like how often you can mock him for his addiction.

he’s obviously in an extremely rough patch! being able to be just so plain cruel to him about the dependency on alcohol (and iirc in p1 hallucinogens, bc aglaya mentions it) he’s formed to cope with his mental illness & trauma just feels bad. especially because yes it is not a healthy coping mechanism at all but... it still is a coping mechanism, if that makes sense?

the way you’re able to constantly rub it in his face feels awful. peter is fully aware that it isn’t good for him and shows a desire to quit. even if he didn’t it would still be awful to say because. it’s just insensitive. like you don’t just go up to someone and keep being like HEY YOU DRINK A LOT YOU SHOULD STOP DOING THAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT WATER IS? feels really bad to keep harping on something that causes him pain and that he struggles with every single day.

however peter does have moments where he tells you Not to say that, or if you pry into why he drinks he’ll outright say he doesn’t remember you being his friend, which is better than nothing.

in p1 moreso than p2 i hate how you can be like oh he’s craaaazy he’s off his rocker he’s delusional!!!! that “why, i never... an architect of schizophrenia!” comment sticks in my mind because it’s just... so genuinely mean. especially because if i remember correctly that line is from when he’s planning on LITERALLY FUCKING BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

i think if they were going to have all of this they should have gone more in depth on how it’s really. not good that he’s treated so poorly. and i do believe that’s what they were going for, a la the art book w/ the whole “not to be made into a drunken clown, this is a tragic character”, etc. but it just doesn’t land. i’m holding out for the bachelor and changeling routes in p2 to see if they expand upon any of it but i highly doubt i’ll be satisfied in this regard.

i stand by the One time it was really fucking funny to clown on peter being the time you can tell him little girls eat raspberries and earthworms and he just believes you

[kendrixtermina]

[Vague Gushing about how well-crafted all the character contrasts in Three Houses are]

For example, all factions have a Token Traditionalist (Ferdinand,Lorenz) except the kingdom... that’s because it turns out they’re the traditional faction and only Felix and maybe partially Sylvain are more individual-minded, the rest is always going on about honor, their regions cultural values and the local afterlife and mythology. Meanwhile the Alliance suspiciously lacks a token foreigner along the lines of Dedue or Petra, because, plot twist, it’s actually Claude himself. 

The Empire has neither a Token Ordinary Poor Village Person (like Leonie and Ashe - Dorothea used to be poor but after that she was famous) nor a Token Devout Believer(like Marianne or Mercedes - the only one who’s even a believer is Ferdinand) which goes with the empire being more secular but also having an elitism problem. 

Team Empire sorta knows each other because they’re largely from the handful of families that have been in power since forever, Team Kingdom is kinda the most close-knit before/without Byleth’s intervention since many of them have been longtime friends, whereas Team Alliance isn’t that familiar with each other apart from some individual pairs like Ignatz and Raphael, leading up to when Claude gives that moving speech about how they all learned to work together & be friends despite coming from such different backgrounds.  (Likewise half of team empire ends up renouncing their titles in order to follow their hearts in many of their endings)

Even Hilda doesn’t really start out as Claude’s right hand but rather becomes his right hand during the events of the story untill we have the two of them epicly suckering ppl in tandem after the timeskip. Kinda sad really because both Dimitri and Edelgard at some point express some wish that they could just have a normal friendship with their respective number two’s/ met under more normal circumstances, they have enough alignment in their values and MO’s that you could picture them naturally gravitating together without fucked up circumstances involved, with Edelgard and Hubert both being coldly pragmatic, purpose-driven nonbelievers and Dimitri and Dedue having a tendency toward single-mindedness and a rather similar way of responding to hostility. 

Also the house leaders are each quite ironically places - Claude wants to unite the world and gets the most divided faction, Dimitri who’s a peacemaker and wants to foster stability gets the most chaotic territory which is also full of xenophobes, and Edelgard who wants to bring about social equality and get rid of higher powers manipulating things from behind the scenes got her house full of elitists and thoroughly infiltrated. 

It probably played some role as to what problems would be on the forefronts of their minds....

Then there’s their supports; Dimitri goes straight from C to B to A ; Meanwhile Edelgard has two steps at C and Claude has two steps at B, and that kinda really underlines/ fits with their personalities. To go with the classic fruit metaphor, Claude’s a Peach Person - Soft and friendly outside but with a more closely guarded center that only a few get to see.  He’s very personable at surface level and kinda gets along with ppl but it takes much more for him to truly trust you and some thoughts he doesn’t show to everyone - He’s markedly the one where you need to wait until after the timeskip to get the big reveal. 

Meanwhile, Edelgard by contrast is the classic Coconut, with a tough exterior or higher entry barrier at first that you need to get past before you can get into her inner circle - which is really just Byleth and Hubert, everyone else gets to see her business face even peeps she tendentially gets along with like linhardt and dorothea. 

And then there’s Dimitri who’s very emotionally impressionable and kind of an open book. I mean he goes out of his way to be friends with Byleth right away even though he later admits that they creeped him out at first

[humanransome-note]

ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST

u thought i was done, I thought i was done

but nope

we got a bit of an OC history retcon and it aint pretty

a game on my phone brought up an ad/article about how the isolation from COVID is affecting ppl and since there was a timer I read it and now were here

so yeah

TW: panic attacks, bureaucratic negligence leading to psychological trauma, forced isolation, paranoia, hallucinations, mentions of self mutilation, and my surface level knowledge of phantom pain

i told ya it wasnt pretty

Co-staring:

Lorelai- @go-commander-kim

Mal- @beetlebitchywitch and guest appearances from 

Madame Bouriseau- @hoodoo12

the ending is happy though, so there’s that to look forward too.\

ALSO: this isn’t what I wrote Cecelia for, she’s coming around in something that I intend to keep happy so help me god

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s 10am. Everyone at Dante’s is usually asleep by now.

But Niphera can’t, not anymore at least.

They shuffle down the hall towards the living room and proceed to collapse on the couch. 

They press the heels of their hands into their eye sockets. 

The pain on the top left portion of their skull feels like someone’s using their brain to try and cool down hot irons. They want to scream. They want to gouge out the soft tissue, if not to make it stop, then to at least make the pain different.

But that won’t work. They’ve tried.

They try to think about other things, drink mixes, what the deciding factor on what media makes it to the Netherworld is, hell what their dad might be up to topside. 

But none of it works, it never does. 

They just have to ride the wave until it goes away.

Deep breaths, you’re not in that asshole’s trunk, you’re at Dante’s, you’re home

A sharp stinging begins to rise from the soles of their feet. They hate this part. 

They roll off of the couch and shove the coffee table away. As the sting turns into a burn, they curl up on the floor. 

Suddenly, a sharpness like someone is trying to flay them open blooms from their chest and works it’s way across the front of their abdomen. 

Great, it’s a two for one special. 

It takes everything they have not to scream and burst into tears as they force themself out of the fetal position. The sharpness in their chest and stomach dampens, but it doesn’t go away.

They grit their teeth and try to force themself to stop breathing, but that just makes their throat tighten and their lungs burn.

They’re forced to take a breath. 

The pain in their chest flares as they claw into the rug and the flames on their head roar, the subsequent crackles make their joints ache.

There’s a ringing in their ears like a whine and they can feel the tears fall and quickly evaporate.

They want their mom.

Something touches their stomach and the pain makes everything go white. 

They scream. 

Then it stops.

—————————

Slowly they come to.

Something is wrapped around them like a hug or weighted blanket, and something else very fluffy is covering them. 

They shift as they try to get their bearings. 

The weighted thing moves with a rattle, and the fluffy thing flutters, making a soft breeze.

Niphera groans. 

A soft voice replies, “Hey, you’re awake.”

It takes them what feels like an age and a day to figure out who just spoke.

Lorelai. 

Another voice comes from behind them.

“Do you know where you are?” The heavy thing tightens for a second. 

It takes less time to figure out who the slightly lisped voice belongs to.

Mal.

Niphera nods, trying to move their head as little as possible, they’ve got a migraine.

“Do you need anything? Water? Juice? Whiskey?”

Niphera cracks a small smile at Lorelai’s last suggestion. They nod again but don’t reply.

Lorelai looks worried “Can you talk?”

They shake their head, even if their throat didn’t feel like someone force fed them salted barbed wire, the idea of talking just sounds like too much.

Mal squeezes them again.

Niphera finds their hand and raises a finger. 

Lorelai asks for clarification, “You want water?”

They nod. 

She gets up and starts walking to the kitchen. She stops short, than turns and asks, “Pain killers too?”

Niphera nods again.

“Alright.” Lorelai leaves the room.

Mal drapes a set of arms over Niphera’s shoulders, and places the other two gently around their waist.

“How are you feeling?”

Exhausted. They feel like they’ve been up for two days and had a good long run to top it off. Everything aches like they’ve gone through a meat tenderizer and there is a dull throb behind their eye sockets.

Niphera raises a hand and rocks it back and forth before changing their mind and giving a thumbs down.

Mal’s arms tighten around their shoulders before suddenly pulling back.

“Sssorry, I don’t know if-“ 

Niphera grabs the upper set of arms and squeezes. These are fine.

However, Mal interprets that to mean all hugging is fine, so she proceeds to tighten all four of her limbs. 

Niphera takes in a breath that quickly turns into a wheeze. Their stomach still hurts.

Mal pulls away again.

“What!? What’sss wrong?”

Niphera grabs her second set of hands and presses them against her tail.

“I don’t understand.” Mal sounds a bit panicked. 

Niphera takes their own hands and uses them to draw an ‘X’ over their chest and stomach. 

Mal still looks confused, so they repeat the motion while shaking their head.

“They’re saying don’t touch them there.” 

Lorelai’s back, she’s holding a bottle of water in one hand and a bottle of painkillers in the other. She’s also got a jar of peanut butter under her arm and a spoon between her fingers. 

Niphera smiles, they don’t know if they can eat right now but they appreciate the thought. 

She places the jar on the coffee table, moved back to its normal spot in front of the couch, as well as the spoon and water. 

“That’s what you meant right?” Lorelai opens the bottle and puts two pills in her hand, she looks up at Niphera. 

They nod. 

While shaking the bottle she asks, “Two or four?”

Niphera raises their hand. 

“Four?” 

They nod. 

She adds two more pills to her hand then places the bottle on the table.

She hands the pills to Niphera then grabs the water and cracks it open. 

“Here,” she hands them the bottle, “don’t chug.”

Niphera pops the painkillers, then chases them down with the water. After a few swallows they stop, it’s freezing, and they can feel it land uncomfortably in their stomach.

They grimace as they hand Lorelai back the bottle. 

“What’s wrong?” Her brows furrow, “I made sure it was water.”

Niphera hunches over and rubs their hands together. 

Lorelai tilts her head.

They pant a little, making a light plume of smoke. 

Mal gets it. 

“It’sss too cold.”

Niphera stops miming and nods. Lorelai frowns. 

“‘Feara this thing is room temperature at best.” Niphera’s own brow furrows.

They want to test something.

Niphera makes grabby hands at Lorelai. 

She comes closer, “What is it?” They grab Lorelai’s hand.

It takes a few seconds, but Lorelai yanks her hand away. 

“Christ! You’re still hot as hell!” She shakes her hand, and even blows on it for good measure. 

Niphera wants to look pleased with themself at the double entendre, they even try, but the residual exhaustion makes it not worth it.

Lorelai stops shaking her hand. 

“So...” Oh no, her entire tone’s changed. 

“You wanna tell us what happened?”

She’s not looking at Niphera. 

Niphera wants to, but they also don’t. It’s a lot, panic attacks, and phantom pain flares from death are one thing. 

But Limbo was worse. 

A blank endless expanse of nothing but white, like that exposition scene from The Matrix. 

They weren’t told anything, just dragged along by some overworked, underpaid Civil Servant who dripped off-green bog water. 

She popped open a door and threw them in with a distracted, “Wait here,” then closed the door behind her.

They don’t know how long they were in there. It was literally nothing but the ceaseless white. They tried staying in the same spot, but they eventually got bored and restless. 

They left the mangled and burnt canvas and rubber of their shoes before they wondered off. Then they picked a direction and began to walk. They figured they’d eventually hit a wall or something, but nope, nothing. 

They turned around, no shoes.

They couldn’t have wondered that far right? And even if they did, there’s nothing else around, they’ll just walk back, and their shoes will show up. 

They didn’t show up. 

They tried it again with a ball of fabric ripped from their shirt.

That disappeared too.

So they tried something. 

One sock. They dropped it, laid down next to it, then fell asleep. 

It was gone when they woke up.

They started panicking then. They tried not too. They tried to reason their way back down, but it’s hard to do that when nothing's making sense.

The panic led to flare ups of pain in their feet and hands, but especially their head.

They sprawled out and road the wave. 

They don’t know how long they went through that. Walking around, panicking, pain flares, repeat. 

They do remember hearing things. 

At first it was when they were just about to fall asleep, nonsense, random phrases or a few bars of a song. Then they started happening when they were awake, still complete nonsense, but it was something. 

After that the paranoia began to set in. This was hell. This was some fucked up dream. They were in a coma and being observed. 

Eventually the hallucinations, paranoia, and phantom pains coalesced into thinking there was something inside of them. Specifically in their brain. 

Their skull wasn’t shattered when they showed up in the netherworld, they had both eyes too.

Cracking their own skull open and pulling at the chunks shook them back into something resembling coherency for a while.

And some time during all that they figured out they could shape shift, but also that it wasn’t permanent. They honestly couldn’t tell you if it was before or after the hallucinations. 

The euphoria of a flattened chest and smaller stomach was torn away with a sudden sharp pain that left them curled up and crying, for they don’t know how long. 

They think that’s how Madame found them. Maybe. They don’t really remember. 

They remember hearing a door open and thinking it was the worst hallucination yet, at least the other ones were nonsense, and eventually reasoned out of following. 

That one was too close, and too possible. 

They think they may have actually tried praying. 

“Niphera.”

It takes a few seconds to realize the voice is talking to them.

Mal is still around them, but it wasn’t her, no lisp. 

They look around and see green and red.

“Niphera, dear, can you hear me?”

They nod, the English lit is nice.

“Do you know where you are?”

Yeah, they’re at Dante’s, they’re at home.

They nod again. 

Someone from further away speaks up. “They can’t talk.” Lorelai should pick up singing, her voice is pretty.

“Niphera, can you tell me what happened?” 

Yes they can, because Madame knows. 

They point to their forehead, wait a second, then move their hand towards their throat. 

Madame nods, “Was it just that?”

They shake their head. 

Niphera grabs her arm and Draws an “L”. 

They don’t have to spell the rest of it out. 

Madame seems to pale for a second, but her expression quickly hardens.

“Alright.” She gets to her feet and turns to Lorelai, “Tell everyone we’re not opening tonight,” she looks back at Niphera, “Maybe not tomorrow either.”

Lorelai’s wigs give an agitated puff. 

Madame continues talking, “I need to go run a few errands, I’ll be back by tomorrow evening.” She looks like she’s ready to kill. 

“If you’re not?”

“I will be.” Her tone brokers no argument.

She leaves the room, and Lorelai follows. 

Mal rattles to fill the silence. 

Niphera wiggles and gets their hands on the peanut butter and the spoon. 

As they pop open the jar they hear,

“GHOUL’S NIGHT!!!”

From further in the house. 

“Niphera?” Mal is trying to stay quiet, but the aches are already fading. 

They turn toward her and tilt their head. 

“You’ll be okay?”

Niphera shoves a spoonful of peanut butter into their mouth and nods. 

Loud, heavy footsteps are coming up from the hallway, and with it overexcited giggles. 

Yeah, they’ll be fine.

so yep, i actually cried writitng sm of this, couldnt totally tell you why though, wrote the intro while listening to glass animals’ tangerine on repeat dont know why im mentioning that but it feels kinda important