#I GAVE MYSELF A HEADACHE DOING THIS
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Some things to look forward to? (Help decipher this)
Every Episode – Monologue, Expert ?, City of the Week, Hot Goss, Chanse jumps over a car, Sketches/Commercials, Character Call in ?, Musical Guest ?
Recurring – Cover Stories, Weird Product ? , Man on the Street, Fan Comments ?, Debate, Today I'm Mad About ?, ???, ???
Sporadic – ???, ???, ???, Debrief From ? , Day Jobs, Reunions, Find a Culprit, Couples Therapy, ???, Movie Stunts ?
One Off- ???, ???, Game Show ?, What would you do ?, Talent Show ?
Topics – Energy Drinks, Situationships, Scams, Cults (Silly), Famous Beef, ???, Fanfiction?
Elements: Teleprompter Game ?, Personal News ?
Tone: Youtube/Internet, Characters
*? means "it looks like that word, missing a word", ??? means "I gave up, figure it out"
Special thanks to @gazebo-components for helping out! :)
*Reddit deleted the post relating to this so I'm thinking this is really real. Thank goodness the social team forgot Tumblr still exists ignores Tumblr.
#smosh#bit city#gazebo-components#are these real? Maybe. is it a decoy? also maybe yes#I GAVE MYSELF A HEADACHE DOING THIS#and probably made myself blinder than i already am#was it perfect? most definitely not. but you can see the potential of what it could be#the segments ran too long (esp hot goss sorry) shorten that a bit and add two more segments#reunion made sense that it's longer because there were 7 people in it and even with that chanse/angela/arasha/ian were barely talking in it#more hosts things sprinkled in between; more commercials but shorter ;#anthony padilla#ian hecox#courtney miller#shayne topp#damien haas#angela giarratana#amanda lehan canto#arasha lalani#keith leak jr#chanse mccrary#tommy bowe#spencer agnew#olivia sui#trevor evarts#noah grossman
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Griddlehark Fics
I have read an absolutely insane amount of Griddlehark fanfics in the past few months so I figured I could make a like...list of all of my favorites that I bookmarked. I'm not sure if anyone will use this but if anything it will be for my own self-indulgence LOL. Just a heads up, this list WILL contain spoilers up to Nona the Ninth, so proceed with your own discretion. Anyway here we go!
(♥︎ = favorite!)
Short (<15k):
"By the Sword" by JeanLuciferGohard (2.6k)
The Reverend Daughter of the Ninth, Necrosaint, Ascended, the greatest bone adept in an Age, does one push-up, and collapses. Harrow does not beg for her cavalier. Harrow rakes her hair back and snarls, “Nav, I am going to unzip your cranial sutures. One by one. And zip them up again sideways.”
"Your Necro Questions Answered" by Magichorse (8.8k)
Syndicated columnist "Nav the Cav" offers a sympathetic ear to cavaliers across the galaxy and dispenses practical, no-nonsense, real talk advice on how to properly manage and care for your necromancer.
"A Lesson in Bones" by Magichorse (3.8k)
One of the laboratory trials at Canaan House compels Harrowhark to swap bodies with her cavalier. What will Gideon do with the power of the most talented bone adept in generations at her disposal? Nothing good, probably.
"Visions of Gideon" by tothewillofthepeople (13k)
Oh my god they were roommates...
"true love's kiss, or something equally nauseating" by corpsesoldier (4.6k)
She was where she needed to be. She was going to pull her necro out of this godforsaken tomb, end the game of musical bodies they were playing, and then everything would be all right. Harrow would be alive. And Gideon was going to give her shit for approximately the next myriad for not just taking what she’d offered and saving them a whole lot of trouble.
"The Big Warm Dark" by decalexas (haelstorm) (2.7k)
Gideon Nav knows how to swing a longsword, brandish a rapier, bridge the gap between life and death, punch the dead in the face, and maybe overthrow an Empire along the way. What she doesn't know how to do is reach for the girl who made all of this possible.
"carrion comfort, despair (not feast on thee)" by NotAFicWriter (5k)
Some time after Alecto wakes, Harrow and Gideon finally have a moment to speak to one another. Hearts are bared. Teeth are bared. Intentions are bared. It all comes at great personal cost (emotional honesty).
"never exhale all the way" by pigflight (1.2k)
Harrowhark paints Gideon's face.
"such an almighty sound" by CountingNothings (10k)♥︎
“I need you to marry me,” Harrow says, a propos of absolutely nothing that Gideon can see. And, uh, okay, this is not what childhood best frenemies say to each other upon discovering that both of their graduate programs have weird residence requirements. “What,” Gideon asks, “the fuck?”
"A Handsomely Dangerous Thing" by zoicite (1.5k)
Had Harrow ever looked at Gideon and felt pride before? Surely not. It sat like a tumor in her chest, a cancerous lump that had grown where it did not belong.
"How it didn't happen" by Nary (1.5k)
"How did you lose it?" Coronabeth asked, more softly than her sister's shrill voice. The group assembled at Canaan House barely knew her, and yet here they were, asking the most irritatingly personal questions, and acting as if they were being kind and thoughtful by prying into her secrets. "I dropped my pen into a vat of acid and reached in to grab it without thinking," Harrow said dryly. Coronabeth recoiled, screwing up her pretty nose. Ianthe looked unsure whether to believe her or not. Their meatslab of cavalier just stared blankly. "The Daughter of the Ninth House was blessed in this manner from her birth, as a symbol of her strength and power over the mysteries of necromancy," Ortus interjected. Harrow glared at him. "Oh," Coronabeth said, an expression of disgusting sympathy on her flawless face. "But then you would never have known who your soulmate was!" Harrow's glare intensified. "My soulmate is bones."
"Halcyon Nights" by Morike91 (10k)
It was hard to tell what was worse: feeling the full warmth of those unguarded honey eyes fall on Harrow, or watching them narrow in recognition and contempt, their warmth now hotter with something else. “What can I get you?” It has been at least four years since Harrow last heard the voice of Gideon Nav, but it was still as familiar as her right hand.
"I completely fucking hate you" by ClaraZorEl (7.5k)
In the coming weeks, Harrowhark learns an unfortunate great deal about Gideon Nav. The kind of porn she likes, the number of bread rolls she can fit into her mouth at once, that she always leans too heavily on her left leg when she fights but can do fifty-seven push-ups in a row without stopping, that her biceps rates 11/10 on the scale of good biceps, that her laugh rumbles like an army of skeletons, and most importantly, that she can’t fucking stand her. Gideon Nav is so grating that Harrow has no doubt she will be her undoing. OR Harrowhark Nonagesimus has been invited to Canaan University's ball. But to successfully represent her house, she needs a cavalier, and unfortunately, her only option is her least favourite barista from her least favourite coffee shop.
"A Thousand Teeth, Yours Among Them" by pipistrelle (7k)
"In the end, she poisoned Ortus; so it was Harrow Nova who walked out to the shuttle a half-step behind the Daughter of the Ninth, the chain of Samael Novenary wound about her offhand wrist, the black blade of the Ninth at her side."
"The Only Prayer We Know" by pipistrelle (12k) [Part 2 of "A Thousand Teeth, Yours Among Them"]
It's like a bad joke: two cavaliers (alive) and two necromancers (one dead) walk into a rebel faction of humanity, looking for a new life -- in every sense of the phrase. What they find is each other, and (in some cases) themselves.
"The Flames of Hell Are Warm" by silverapples (7k)
In which Harrow is a repressed evangelical Christian and Gideon performs burlesque in a lesbian nightclub. Feat. nipple pasties, chewing gum, and a steaming mug of gay coffee (wake up and smell it, Harrow).
"Necro Business" by rnanqo (1.6k) ♥︎
“Gideon,” you said carefully, “I will need to examine your mouth. Various structures, primarily the jaw, but also the lingual muscles—the tongue—” You stopped there. Your cheeks were going red, probably with indignity. “Yeah,” I said, a bit too loudly, “yeah, sure. Do it.”
"Holy Cross, Alaska" by softieghost (10k) ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎
Harrow meets Gideon. They go through it together.
"my love will be your armor" by TheKnightsWhoSayBook (2.3k)
"The princess has a right to bestow her favor on whoever she wishes to win a match," Gideon tells her. "Are you going to?" "Why would I? I don't want to marry him," Harrow answers bitterly. "Do you want me to win?" Princess Harrow will be engaged to the winner of the tournament, and her only champion is her useless bodyguard Sir Gideon Nav, who isn't going to save her. Unless...?
"The Meaning Of The Word" by pipistrelle (8.4k)
Harrow, along with a good percentage of Canaan University's necromancy students, has the flu. Gideon has a lot of feelings that she is in no way equipped to handle. It's a tough week.
"(i shine only with the light you gave me)" by sashawire (1.7k) ♥︎
God prods, gently, “Even just starting with their physical description, and we can go from there.” “Imagine,” you say, from somewhere outside your body, “the worst shade of orange you’ve ever seen in your life.” * Harrowhark receives her saintly title.
"i will learn to love the shears" by corpsesoldier (4.7k)
The avulsion trial left Harrow's hair in a sorry state and Gideon offers up her expertise with a blade. Or, Gideon gives Harrow a haircut.
"The Titty Texts: A Work of a Stupendous Titty Nature" by EleniaTrexer (3k)
Gideon accidentally sends Harrow boobs. And then just keeps on sending them.
"can we start over?" by breeeliss (10k)
Gideon needs a tutor. Harrow needs someone to get her out of college gym class. All in all, a pretty straightforward arrangement to make with your ex.
"Dark Mode Enabled" by senseoftheday (12k)
Tech Company AU in which a certain Sales bro with no filter decides to ruin Harrow's life (and feature roadmap) by initiating the cross-functional project from hell. At least, Gideon has the decency to work remotely, and Harrow's new office crush makes some pretty great coffee.
"deconsecrated graves" by emotionsandphenomena (4k)
Gideon and Harrow got out of the cult they were raised in. Okay, what's next?
"settle up in heaven" by liesmyth (3k) ♥︎
“Isn’t this arrogance, Harrow?” Kiriona says. “Think you could fix what God couldn’t?”
"Quoth the Maiden" by Sarsaparilla (10.9k)
The bold outlaws Nova Hawk and Gideon meet for the first time on a narrow log-bridge. But is it really their first meeting? Or: what if Robin Hood and Little John were both lesbians?
"twice in a blue moon" by sinshine (8.7k) ♥︎
Gideon snapped out of her depressing reverie and blinked at her. "That's a really good idea." "Obviously," said Harrow, and it was only a little bit condescending. "Step one, sneak out of the party. Step two, acquire the necessary items at a store. Step three–" Harrow gestured vaguely at the deer in Gideon's hands– "And step four, profit." [G&H rush to fix a smashed snow globe that Dulcinea made so that Cam doesn't kill them before the clock strikes midnight at their NYE party. The fact that Gideon is back in her hometown after a long time away and she and Harrow have unresolved romantic tension is secondary and definitely won't be a problem.]
"It Came From Planet Slut" by LockedTombMemes (8k)
Well. Evidently going undercover to an Idan society fling in order to deliver a message to a high-profile BoE agent was a tits-out kind of look.
"Apostate's Yuletide" by sinshine (12.6k)♥︎
Gideon raised one eyebrow comically high. She smiled easily, erasing any hint of the anxiety that Harrow might have sensed. "What's with all the questions today?" Harrow huffed indignantly and fidgeted with the blanket draped across her lap, worrying the frayed hem with her fingers. "I thought your ego would appreciate the interest." "Yeah, but it's weird coming from you. I'm used to you monologuing, not playing twenty questions." "Perhaps it's a Christmas miracle," suggested Harrow, with an expression so absolutely devoid of joy that Gideon couldn't help but laugh. [Harrow and Gideon burn down a church on Xmas.]
"when it's over" by Adertily (2.5k)
Harrowhark had sworn to herself to live to see the girl in the locked tomb awaken. Alecto has risen. Now God is dead, along with everyone who had ever been dear to her - and Gideon has returned as a distorted creature. The war is over. Harrow wishes she could be too. Or: A character study based on Harrow's suicidal ideation and Gideon's determination to never run anywhere unless she absolutely has to.
"Supernova Bloom!" by sinshine (13k)
"It's just for a week, and then you never have to see me again," said Gideon. "I don't have time to find anyone else." And, "Please." Slowly, Harrow took her hand off the door and cautiously turned around. Gideon watched a dozen unspoken questions flicker across her face. She voiced none of them, but eventually settled on an expression of grim resignation. "I suppose I could suffer you for a week." [Gideon needs help getting her new flower shop ready for the grand opening. Harrow needs cash.]
"I still need your teeth around my organs" by sinshine (7.8k)
Although she was a beloved Daughter and a talented necromancer, Gideon's greatest vice was that she dearly loved to fuck around and find out. Knowing this, perhaps it shouldn't have been as shocking when she lifted one of Nova's hands, flipped it over, and kissed her palm. [4 times Gideon kisses Harrow, 1 time Harrow kisses Gideon]
"cuckoo, cuckoo" by sashawire (1.2k)
What Wake gives it is not a name. To do so would be a moronic, unnecessary cruelty. But she does deign to give it the microscopic dignity of a title, a goal, a purpose. Bomb. Eighteen years later, in the rubble of a once-sacred home, Harrowhark Nonagesimus reaches up and touches Gideon Nav’s grit-covered, blood-rimed face, splits a laugh like the world is ending, and calls her “flower.” * Six times God's unwanted daughter was nicknamed, and once she wasn't.
"my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear" by sashawire (<1k) ♥︎
Gideon chomps into her tongue as hard as she can convince herself, stifling a very dignified squawk. Her eyes water, Emperor’s left tit that fucking hurts, but—it works. Blood weeps from the bite marks, creeping down the back of her throat, up into her nasal cavity, staining her teeth. Okay. She has blood in her mouth. Blood that, somehow, needs to get into Harrow’s mouth. * Step #6: Consume the flesh.
"fifteen percent concentrated power of will" by surreptitiously (9k)
Teaching someone to do a push-up is a love language, when that person is very annoying.
"GHAZAL WHERE I'M BEGGING YOU TO TOUCH ME" by igneousbitch (12k)
You had your body and I had mine, and it was a miracle. Your hands against my face were a miracle. The rest of your meat attached to your hands was a prayer answered and a promise broken, but we were flush and gasping and alive, and Harrow—I really thought you might’ve kissed me then. But I felt it happen. The way your breath suddenly stilled, and your body locked up beneath mine, remembering. How with splintering gentleness, you pushed me away. “I’m so sorry,” was the second thing you said upon waking. The first thing had been my name. Stranded in a safehouse on an Edenite moon, Gideon and Harrow try to put themselves back together.
"catch you on the flip side, sugar lips" by corpsesoldier (4.9k)
Maybe if Harrow's brain runs enough scenarios, she'll find a way to keep what she's lost.
"hand to heart, I swear" by corpsesoldier (5k)
Gideon has a broken heart, and there's only one necromancer who can fix it.
Medium (15-30k)
"If you're doing it right you'll break their ribs" by almostnectarine (22.4k)
"How do you know Nonagesimus has gone somewhere dangerous?" asked Isaac. "Have you wired some kind of alert system?" "It's, uh. It's on the schedule," said Gideon. "I just... forgot. Because of the bread." Nobody was convinced by this, least of all Gideon. "It's a Ninth House thing," Gideon went on, backing away with increasing desperation. This was a slightly more plausible explanation, if only because nobody wanted to look too closely at what fell under the awful skeletal-ribbed and rotting umbrella of Ninth House things. "Gotta go—!" And she was out the door, gone. But it wasn't a Ninth House thing, except inasmuch as it was happening to the only two representatives of the noble and decrepit Ninth House on this quite literally godforsaken rock. Gideon knew Harrow had gone somewhere dangerous—knew that Harrow was back in the lab where they had only just completed a horrible trial—because she could see it, clear as day: an awful overlay on her vision of that terrible dangerous room and a pair of terrible dangerous hands drawing some kind of ward next to the plinth. The hands were definitely Harrow's. This was definitely a problem.
"If Home Is Where the Heart Is (Then We're All Just Fucked)" by JeanLuciferGohard (17k) ♥︎
When Gideon Nav gets a call that her ex-girlfriend, who never bothered to change her designated emergency contact, is in the hospital, she goes against her better judgement and responds. Everything after that just gets more complicated.
"blue gray green lavender" by smolranger (29k) ♥︎
Laser Radial sailor Gideon Nav just wants pass her classes, win a few regattas, and keep her head down. FJ sailor Harrowhark Nonagesimus has grand plans to qualify for the Olympics, preserve her parent's legacy, and save her home town. Despite the ties binding them together, the two have kept their college lives carefully separate for two years. But when Harrow's helm, Ortus, suffers a concussion mid-way through the fall season, their carefully separated lives collide. Harrow needs someone capable of taking Ortus' place for the remainder of the season or her Olympic dreams — and Canaan College's entire sail team — are in peril. And Gideon is her only option.
"Daughters of Hungry Ghosts" by zoicite (24k)
Harrow and Gideon and times they have (and also have not) shared a bed over the years.
"Disney World, Florida" by softieghost (24.6k) [Part 2 of "Holy Cross, Alaska"]
After the events of Alaska, Harrow thanks Gideon the only way she knows how: devotion. -- Chapter 3: The journey concludes. More confessions.
"we've got a good thing goin' " by sinshine (14.6k) ♥︎
“Not to sound ungrateful, but being here makes me wish that you had left me for dead,” said Harrow. Gideon had been staring hard at the face of the fountain’s statue. She was pretty sure that it was carved in the likeness of Naberius himself, but she didn’t want to say it out loud and make it true. She shook her head and turned to Harrow. “Leaving me to live out eternity in your bony sock puppet of a body? Hard pass.” Palamedes and Camilla shared a look. It was the mutual understanding of two people who had been trapped in close quarters with the bickering of Gideon Nav and Harrowhark Nonagesimus for far too long. [Team 69 hide out in Babs's vacation home. Because it's not like he's using it anyway.]
"Cake by the Ocean" by zoicite (15k)♥︎
Okay, so the thing was, Gideon had always been shit at plans. She knew that. Everyone knew that, but this--she really didn’t think it would be this hard! Gideon’s voice was like the least memorable thing about her. Bargaining her voice for a well-shaped set of human legs--that really should have worked in her favor.
"careful fear and (un)dead devotion" by sinshine (23k)
[Gideon and Harrow wake up back in their own bodies but both of them are missing large parts of their memory. Camilla tries not to kill everyone.]
"who ya gonna call?" by igneousbitch (24k)
“Fret not, honeybun.” Gideon shook her red hair out of her eyes, belligerent. “I’m not totally sold on your whole skepticism thing.” “Well,” Harrow said, ignoring the nickname. She turned to the rest of the room, clearing her throat politely before addressing the empty air. “Ghosts, if you’re real, give us a sign. Make a noise. Move something. Send a shiver down our backs. Whisper softly into Nav’s left ear—” “I seriously fucking hate you.” - (Casual sex and paranormal investigation. Not necessarily in that order.) (or: the Buzzfeed Unsolved AU in which Gideon is ready to fight a ghost, and Harrow just wants to be haunted.)
Long(>30k):
"Beneath a Blue and Foreign Sky" by zoicite (35k)
Harrow has a decision to make.
"A Heart Full Of Sutures" by Rohad (40k)
All Gideon wanted was to get outside and ride her motorcycle. No part of that plan had included eight weeks in Canaan Medical Center with a broken Pelvis and the meanest little doctor this side of the eastern seabord.
"Midnight at the Mithraeum" by zoicite (66k) ♥︎
It'd been two years since Gideon Nav gathered her wine key and her gaming license and escaped The Locked Tomb, a speakeasy-style cocktail bar managed by the hateful Harrowhark Nonagesimus. Now, dealing tables at The Mithraeum Hotel & Casino, things were really looking up. So when Gideon scored a date with the most beautiful showgirl in the Gilded Halls of Ida, the last thing she expected was to wake up married to her old nemesis and former coworker. The story starts the night of Gideon's date and alternates between the events leading up to the wedding and the weeks that follow as Gideon tries to navigate life married to someone who claims to want nothing more than to forget she exists.
"Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea" by pipistrelle (90k)
Being the journal of Reverend Daughter Harrowhark Nonagesimus, chronicling the journey of the Emperor's warship Cenotaph on its hunt to slay an immortal Resurrection Beast. Or: the Moby Dick crossover AU that nobody asked for.
"The Darkest Night, The Brightest Light" by eternaleponine (50k)
Harrowhark has known for a long time that her home's financial situation is dire, and not getting better. She has plans to fix it all, but can't implement them until she turns eighteen in a few months. When her parents announce that the best (perhaps only) way to save Drearburh is to marry off its heir, Harrow realizes the timeline has changed and she needs to take action now to save her home... and herself. Desperate times call for desperate measures, after all. Enter Gideon Nav. Detested foe, and Harrow's only hope.
"putting your fist through a thick sheet of glass (i know you don't want to)" by oretsev (46k)
Harrowhark Nonagesimus and Gideon Nav have always been at each other’s throats, and the animosity has only intensified since the death of Harrow’s parents. But when a car accident leaves Gideon without any memories of her past, Harrow sees a chance at the clean slate she’s wanted for years. Becoming involved in Gideon’s recovery assuages some of the guilt, but as she and Gideon become closer and increasingly involved in each other's lives, Harrow worries that some of her secrets may be more than she can atone for.
Ongoing:
"semi-charmed kinda life" by strangedelight (182k+) ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎
Gideon asked questions. Harrow surprised her with answers. They reached an agreement; they decided to be smart, to be patient. Gideon made a promise, Harrow gave her one in return. Wait and see. OR the year is 1994, and Gideon and Harrow leave their small town for life in the city. OR team 69 roommates au only this time it's the 90s
"Intern the Sixth" by apocalypticTaco (33k+)
ADDRESSING THE HEIR TO THE NINTH HOUSE, OR PRESUMED EQUIVALENT: PALAMEDES SEXTUS, HEIR TO THE SIXTH HOUSE, PRESENTS HIS COMPLIMENTS TO THE NINTH AND REQUESTS A FORMAL ARRANGEMENT WHEREIN HIS MASTER WARDEN AND CAVALIER APPRENTICESHIP UNDER THE NINTH FOR FOUR YEARS IN EXCHANGE FOR THE SIXTH’S SERVICES. *Details to be discussed. Please turn to back page. Timeframe variable. Services and agreements variable upon the Ninth's request. An internship of this caliber is highly unprecedented and likely unheard of, but any information valuable to the Ninth and into the Tomb will remain undisclosed upon request; Primary experience and study is required as the Master Warden has already decided upon such being his final thesis prior to his end studies. No takebacks, no denials. Pleased to meet you. Palamedes Sextus, Heir to the Sixth and Master Warden and Camilla the Sixth, Cavalier Primary and Warden's Hand of the Library
TO THE MASTER WARDEN: FORMALLY REJECTED.
"What's Eating Gideon Nav?" by labyrinthineRetribution (40k+)
After a miserable fifteen years at Blessed Saint Anastasia's School for Girls, Gideon's luck finally changes.
"We Have Always Lived in the Apartment" by labyrinthineRetribution (171k+)
John looks up from his Jack and Coke in drunken curiosity. "What's with the face, Harrowhark?" he asks, genuinely concerned. "Contrary to popular belief," Gideon butts in, "her face just fuckin' looks like that, bitch." She tends to use "bitch" as liberally as commas when off her ass. "You're piss drunk," you shoot back. "And you, my good bitch, are just as contemptible as the day you clawed your way up from Hell." - It is Harrowhark Nonagesimus' birthday, and it only gets worse from there.
PWP (basically):
"I'll hold in these hands all that remains" by corvidlesbian (6.5k) ♥︎
“Do you want me to try?” Gideon said. “What?” “You got all hot and bothered without me trying. Do you want me to try?” Their newfound habit of cuddling gets interesting.
"sting of a wasp" by brightbolt, imperfectlyctor (42k) ♥︎
"You’re a virgin,” Gideon said, testing it out. "Huh." Harrow didn’t like the sound of that huh. She knew Gideon’s noises, and that was a thoughtful, sinister huh. That was the same huh she’d made before putting canned tuna in Crux’s work boots. Her eyes narrowed. “What.” Gideon cocked her head to the side. “Is there a reason you’re waiting?” There was no judgement in the question— only genuine curiosity. Perhaps it was this that made Harrow more inclined to answer. “I don’t have the time to look for someone new,” She shrugged. “And my available pool is… somewhat limited.” “Well,” Gideon said, with just a hint of conspiracy in those glittering golden eyes. “If you ever want to change that, you have my number.” What? What? Harrow blinked. “What?” Or: the five times Gideon and Harrow successfully bone, and the one time they don't.
"Suckle, Honey" by zoicite (7.9k)
“You crave my juice,” Gideon accused. “I do not crave your juice.” “Fuck, you do though. You went off to explore that study alone, without your cavalier, using a key that I nearly gave my life for, and then you snorted some powder that made you crave my juice! Harrow. I never would have let you sniff powder from a ten thousand year old jar.” This was untrue--Gideon probably wouldn’t have noticed Harrow breathing in a puff of jar powder until it was too late--but it sounded like something Camilla Hect might say, so Gideon went with it anyway. Camilla definitely would have stopped Palamedes from accidentally sniffing old as fuck Eighth House jarred juice addiction powder.
"Five Times We Hatefucked and One Time We Didn't" by rnanqo (8k)
“Fuck you,” you said. “Fuck me yourself, you coward.” You ran a hand through my hair, fisted it, and pulled my head up. From here I had a spectacular view of your weird blown-out seething expression, like I was the worst thing you’d ever seen. Also a view up your blood-crusted nostrils. Choice. “Maybe I will, Griddle,” you said. “Maybe I will stop fucking you over and start fucking you." Gideon and Harrow realize, abruptly, that their hatefucking is no longer hatefucking.
"a call to motion" by groundedsaucer (coasterchild) (10k) ♥︎
Harrow and Gideon watch a porno.
"put her canine teeth in the side of my neck" by stranded_star (8.8k)
Harrowhark Nonagesimus is getting a PhD and a divorce. Against her better judgment, she goes out to the bar to celebrate and meets an incorrigible, absolutely ripped salt-and-paprika butch who takes her home and gives it to her good. To her horror, it's the best night of her life, and she sneaks home with her tail between her legs. Harrow has more important things to worry about - like raising her daughter and building the next stages of her career. But when her daughter's favorite teacher, someone named Griddle, turns about to be the Gideon she met at the bar, she's forced to contend with allowing herself (and her daughter) to find the happy ending she never thought they'd have. Featuring MILF!Harrow, Teacher!Gideon, and a very amused Camilla Hect.
"The Wound That Swallows" by seelieunseelie (7.8k)
Harrow can make out an uncomfortable amount of detail about Gideon’s body beneath. Powerful, strong as ever, yet somehow vulnerable for its supplication below Harrow’s. “Are we gonna get this over with?” Gideon says in a voice softly scratchy. She blushes then when Harrow sits on the edge of the bed. “It will hurt,” Harrow says. “Yeah,” Gideon says. “I think I can handle it.”
#holy shit this is way longer than i thought it would be#uhm i literally gave myself a headache i sat here for like 3 hours doing this#that being said if you have any fic recs lmk LOL#griddlehark#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#the locked tomb#tlt#tlt fic#tlt fanfiction#griddlehark fanfic#rec#long post
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Hey, I don't know if you are interested in this kind of topic, but as a prompt for your sketches: physically disabled yet sporty and fit Izuku, and Katsuki is his college (whipped) roommate. This idea had been living rent free in my head for a while and I wrote a little novel on ao3 recently as well.
For reference, google pictures of "Paralympics physical disability", you should be able to get some nice references. 😊
Sorry it took me so long to get around to this one. Being physically disabled myself, it was a prompt I really really wanted to project onto Izuku with, but I ended up,,, not doing that lol. Instead he runs. Art block kicked my ass with this one boysss
That said, I have a couple scrapped archery sketches I’ll probably redo and reblog this with later. Who knows.
#nottsketches#mha#my hero academia#bnha#boku no hero academia#izuku midoriya#mha deku#deku#katsuki bakugo#mha bakugo#bakudeku#bkdk#i wanted to put his ass in a wheelchair so bad#alas i did not#meh what can you do#i gave myself a headache trying to get the ball rolling on this one#but I’m excited to check out your fic!
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if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out
i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)
i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it
iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly
evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.
having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:
baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game
middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.
high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]
college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now
joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.
as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.
i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.
so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.
#ask#pariskim#charlie kelly#joyce kelly#ramblings#i hav lots of thoughts nd feelings nd smday ill draw out charlie's whole timeline th way iv ben meaning to#th same way charlie holds th gang togethr charlie holds my whole viewpoint of iasip togethr#i gave myself a headache writing this post i spent more time xplaining my years of tboy charlie thinking than joyce im sry lmao#but i do lov her
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One last store update! After this I will begin sending emails to a subscriber list.
You can input your email of choice for my shop newsletter into this google form here.
A quick summary of some things:
I was unable to finish orders by printing their shipping labels by today, despite what I said last week, because of health issues that had to be addressed instead.
More of my product order was messed up, had enough items to fulfill every order but I’ve been left with ZERO extra stock on a couple items to put into my shop after.
I got enough interest in the Halloween keychains and stickers so I will be making them.
Full explanations below ^^
I have now packed every single order and reviewed all of their contents. However I was unable to send them out today as at some point last week I became very unwell. I’ve been going downhill for a while but it has never gotten to this degree this fast before. I still don’t really know what caused it and so I had been unable to pack over the weekend and couldn’t get all the shipping labels printed for them today.
I will be printing these labels out and taking chunks of the orders to the post office over the next few days.
But the more I’d packed the more I’d realized more of my product order had been messed up. I had ordered extras of everything and yet some of the products that I ordered just BARELY fulfilled every order — I had to use some of the initial samples to fulfill every order but rest assured they are the exact same as the products in size and quality. I have exactly ZERO of some products left over for shop stock when I’d ordered 10-15 extra of every item (as well as TOO MANY of some less popular products that didn’t need all these extras) which sadly means a few items will not be in stock when I open the store back up. I may put discounts on the unwanted extras I received because of this.
While I would expect by default to receive the products in the quantity that I ordered, I also understand that I ordered hundreds of products all in one order, and that is only one order that is being fulfilled out of the many other orders they get daily. I myself did not count out every single product to check because of the sheer amount of everything that was ordered — I had ordered over 500 keychains alone to fulfill the preorders and the entire order has taken up a full room when all spread out. But I still did not count beforehand and would only find out once I’d run out of a certain product, so I accept this is partly my responsibility too. This should not happen again as I never expect to make an order this big again, I had only done this for shop startup, and I will be making another order to restock these products. But it’s still sad it happened.
I apologize for this and I appreciate all of your patience once again. I am explaining all of this as I believe you are owed information about what is going on seeing as you’ve put money into this, and I myself said they would all be sent out by Monday. I just want to be transparent ^^
And one last thing — many of you wanted Halloween merchandise, so I will be moving forward with that! (I’ve decided they will not be glow in the dark though, as I’d have to make every vibrant color instead transparent for the glow to come through, and I believe the designs would suffer too much without these colors)
I have ordered from this manufacturer multiple times before over the years and they’ve always gotten it right with more reasonably-sized orders, so I am confident these will not have the same problems as this preorders period has.
Thank you again very much for your support and understanding up to this point!! <3
#I don’t know how long I’m still going to feel like this#basically it’s heart issues#at first I had thought I’d reacted really bad to caffeine in headache medication that I’d taken#because I cannot have caffeine#but it had never done that to me before and it’s been lasting for longer than caffeine would even be in my system#and maybe it still was the caffeine I don’t know#but for now#I do not know how long things will be like this#I can’t carry anything heavy or walk or stand for long periods of time right now#so I will have to take the orders in chunks over the course of about three days with some help probably#I promise I’m not pushing myself though I take breaks the moment I feel like I should#I’ve been getting help and this is a health issue I’ve already been trying to address and my job thankfully gave me some relief#so I’ve just been resting for a few days and thankfully have a head start on managing this#I do apologize if any of this has been disjointed or disconnected concentrating does not come easy right now#thank you all for your patience thus far it means so much to me
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/// health anxiety tw
when you know the best thing to do is "lay down in the dark with your eyes closed and wait for your meds to kick in" but you start getting paranoid because what if this time you just. die. (no it doesn't have to make sense)
#nurse b#(she's the one who gave me that specific phobia... thanks)#plus I'm bad at keeping my thoughts from racing when I'm just laying down in the dark#these are meds for my pain and not sleep so hopefully we leave the house soon and I can distract myself#I wanted to buy some things today#but anyway yeah I never know what to do during headaches or migraines#I know screens are bad but the severity level differs so sometimes I can tolerate screens and distract my mind?#especially since the doctor said anxiety/stress makes things worse?#but shit I think I really do need to rest my eyes#hurts... ugh
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Alls I’m saying is, your mind is just like mine all filled up with things benign 🎵🎶
fall 2021 vs fall 2023 redraw
#I gave myself a horrible headache drawing this but it was WORTHHH IIITTT#my art#Marina#Marina really makes me pop off sometimes#hollywood#please do not repost I will lose my mind
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my mom owed me like $20 so I just asked her if she'd buy me this nice lounge bra I'd been eyeing so she did and GIRLS. THIS IS SO COMFY
#and it has a high neckline so I can wear it as a cropped undershirt#some days I do be winning#also I have a thriftbooks order supposed to be here soon bc I needed my own copy of die young with me#and I also decided to finally get another book I've been thinking about for a while even though it was ''new'' priced#plus I'm having a new possible temporary (she's a college student graduating in the spring) friend over on Sunday#AND one of my closest irl friends is coming over tomorrow bc her washing machine is broken so she's using ours lol#and there's a labor day event going on this weekend including a free community rodeo !!!#all that said. despite the tension headache I gave myself using a new pillow (dw I took smth for it and will not be#using that pillow again)... it is.shaping up to be a LOVELY week#Lu rambles
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SO!!! To anyone unaware, early this month I entered @catmask and @frogcroaks' Monster Mayhem contest!! I made a messed up crab that I called the Haven Crawler. And. Uh. Holy shit, my crab was Lemmy (frogcroaks) judge's choice. So I figured to thank them (and everyone who said. such unbelievably nice things in the chat) I'd post the actual images present in the ref, transparent and on their own!!
Again I want to thank both of the judges for all of the unbelievably kind words they said about my lil guy, and to the chat who was so incredibly nice as well. I honestly still kind of feel like I'm dreaming, and words cannot even begin to express how much this means to me. I've never felt more motivated in my life to continue creating. Thank you.
#monster mayhem#monster mayhem 2024#my art#my designs#[i wont lie ive been happy crying on and off i think i popped off so hard i gave myself a headache LMAO]#[I'M FINE THOUGH DON'T WORRY]#[but uh. i dont wanna get too deep abt my own stuff or anything but. i cannot express how badly i needed to hear what you guys said]#[ive gone from being unsure if i was cut out for this to never being more sure in my life that i love doing art]#[ive been confident in my own skills!! but to hear it from outside like this is. indescribable to me. im still processing it honestly]#[thank you so much]#blood tw#death tw#horror tw#ask to tag
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It was all just decoration. Φ
#my art#nilfruits#vflower#flower#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#eyestrain#blood#well. stylized blood anyways#i gave myself a headache doing this and cramped my hand w the writing but im happy w it#anyways shoutout to literally the best song ever? dont @ me
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tw: scars/sh?
I have 4 hours left to sleep oh my god
+ sketches!!
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#pjsk fanart#colorful stage#tsukasa tenma#pjsk tsukasa#akito shinonome#ena shinonome#my art#idk why i did this to myself tbh#but i just had to finish this in one go#oh my god i want to sleep so bad#and i have to wake up at 6am#i love complaining abt the things i actively choose to do /sarc#anyways#im actually very happy w how it turned out#the background gave me a fucking headache tho#but yaaayyy#im free#tw scars#tw sh#and omg#i waa trying to draw sanrio collab kasa#like the whole day#and yesterday#but my brain just#isnt letting me ig?#im not giving uo brain#god i need to go to sleep already
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It’s ok to live for yourself, It’s ok to cheat a little
It’s ok to break it, it’s ok to be scared
Let’s bury this cowardly love here, let’s stop and forget this
It’s easier to hate
I saw a post suggesting Undead Alice for Mikoto and thought that that would be a fun choice for him.
#milgram#milgram fanart#mikoto kayano#i had no idea how to do the background#i've been staring at this for hours#i'm tired#i think i accidentally have myself a headache#*gave#iris draws
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Thinking about Julie and Daisey, I need them to be friends
Julie would totally drag Daisey to play her made up games, Daisey has genuinely lost their head multiple times trying to play
They do each other’s hair, Daisey loves playing with and braiding Julie’s long hair
Cuddles are real, they hug almost every time they see each other. Daisey loves Julie’s hugs
Girlfriends maybe?? /hj
Julie makes flower crowns with the flowers in Daisey’s garden, with permission of course. Daisey keeps every single one
Daisey helps with her jokes, they buy her joke books
Julie totally asks if Daisey has horns (since she knows Flora has horns)
Daisey is confused and just says no
Daisey gets along with Julie’s siblings, they like Bea the most. Frannie tends to be mean but Daisye can handle it lmao
I know next to nothing about Jonesy but I love him and Daisey likes messing with his hair
That’s all my ideas I don’t think about them often but I love them
EEEEEE FRIENDSHIP <333
Julie's games get intense I'm not surprised Dasiey loses her head! I'm sure Frank has to on occasion lol
Doing 👏 Each others 👏 Hair 👏 the ultimate platonic love language for Julie, she loves letting people play with her hair
Cuddles, Hugs, akfjajdjjad YES absolutely Julie is spinning Dasiey around in a hug every day without fail, girl has so much energy (and strength)
Flower crowns sniff,, I love flower crowns,,
ajfjajdb Julie loves the joke book, she probably decorates it with stickers <3
JOYFUL SIBLINGS MENTIONED <33
Bea is definitely the calmest of the four I imagine,, Look at her and tell me that's not a Peacekeeping Older Sister
Franny has an attitude! But she genuinely cares for her family, you just gotta learn to understand when she's roasting you with love
Jonesy is a mystery! and I bet he's so confused by that lol. He's not trying to be mysterious, he's a just quiet, chill dude. But he will roast Franny right back. And play all of Julie's games (except chess). And enjoys hanging out with Bea while they do their own thing, parallel play my beloved.
Oh and He totally doesn't mind when Daisey messes with his hair, Julie and Franny do it all the time so he's not bothered!
#ugh Jonesy <3#we Do know Nothing about him. or the other siblings for that matter#but dang it if he isn't the character design ever#these are fun!! I love Julie sobbss#Post Breakdown Dizz here!#just wanted to say#WAAAAAA THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS#Im out here fighting for my Life (cried and gave myself a headache)#but bestie you swooped into my inbox and I'm having a blast now (answered this while eating banana bread)#<333#gaaaahhh them <3 Joyfuls my beloveds <3#i should think about them more sigh#welcome home#julie joyful#bea joyful#franny joyful#jonesy joyful#welcome home oc#not my oc#dizztalkstoomuch#neon child
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everything you see ab being the oldest daughter is true btw why am i the family therapist AND punching bag smh
long ass depressing rant in the tags srry i got a wee bit emotional
#my dad has something going on where there's a ringing in his ear my mom has tendonitis and neck pain now#and i feel for both of them i'm goin to cvs to get the meds giving my mom massages every night talking to my dad to distract him#they're both going to the correct doctors#but just throwing it out there i have had tendonitis and chronic upper back pain for 5-6 years and no one gave a shit most i've gotten is#jokes that i'm faking it#i'm in physical therapy for my back NOW but that's bc i finally crawled out of the depression long enough to do it myself#which is fine whatever i'm 22 i should be the one making my own appointments and it'd be weird if i wasn't#but when i was 16 or 17???#being hospitalized for STRESS HEADACHES at 14 too???#who gets hospitalized for that shit and how were my parents not concerned that i at the age of 14 was#so stressed out that my head was pounding all the time#and bc i'm the third parent who has to be the only emotional safe space#i don't say anything if my sisters are rude to me bc at least they feel safe enough around me to be rude to me#i have to listen to everyone and their momma's problems#i'm in law school!!! i do not need this i'm anxious all the time!!!#and if i'm not anxious i'm depressed!!!#my therapist point blank tells me shit like 'you're incredibly lonely' or 'you have way too much on your shoulders' and it makes me CRY#the most basic fucking observations that i KNOW but hearing someone else acknowledge it and not berate me fucking sends me into TEARS#i get messages from online friends here like 'hey i saw your post you don't deserve that' i physically cannot keep my eyes dry!!#every time i have any interaction ever i am at least a little uncomfortable bc i am always trying so hard to make sure i come off as kind#and not awkward or mean#i feel like everyone around me was given some kind of how to manual on life that i wasn't#and i KNOW this is not unique tons and tons of people feel like this#i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware#but then every couple of days my mom gets the brilliant idea to tell me i'm rude or lazy or whatever and i lose my shit#i just wanna sleep and write fanfics in the nicest way possible i hate everyone#i will try my best to not be mean to anyone bc no one deserves it but i am angry and i am constantly feeling the hurt of my inner child#my MOTHER threw a hardcover book at my HEAD when i was ten bc i had been reading and hid the book under the pillow#what the actual fuck????#my dad's response to any and everything is to deal with it
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#i have all these fic ideas in my head....and they refuse to be written properly...#i love trying to write smut and hating every word of it. good times good times#shut up moosh.vnt#gave myself a headache trying to make it work 💔 tragic#my brain is gonna nuke itself before it manages to do anything
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the group also found out that Foxglove has a brother named Kieran that he can barely speak about for one reason or another. they picked up that there's some sort of magical pact keeping him from saying certain things ... and the rest of it is just because he might be a freak
#[static]#wolf plays dnd#i gave myself a headache from the round about way that Foxglove talks lmaoo#he can rarely say what he wants to say due to the fear of being found out or putting people in harms way but also ... he's just like that#he's genuinely a challenge to roleplay but in the most fun way. there's so many moving pieces#between the pact he has vs. not being able to trust people vs. desperately wanting to trust people vs. the person he is and the-#-person he has to play right now#i also love how they'll ask him a question and he'll spend a solid minute only half-answering it but the moment his brother is involved-#-he so easily and very clearly threatens people (mostly on accident)#the dm was laughing a lot because he knew exactly what kind of mental hoops I had to jump through as a player to be able to say ANYTHING#like Foxglove gives a lot but also barely anything at all and it's all contorted and confusing and hard to decipher but i think next sessio#it will all make sense :)#I told the DM 'i think im gonna try and make it until the 10th session before I do my big reveal'#or ... one of them at least. there's so much stuff going on with this guy it's so fun#but i did it! i made it to session 10 yay!
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