#I Failed Most of My Attacks
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*Frantically ripping my window open and throwing these to y’all like feed to pigeons* I FIGURED OUT HOW TO REWORK MY TOON STYLE I’M SO READY FOR ART FIGHT
#my art#digital art#personal#fanart#anthro#furry#Stel#Astrid#Bunni#only tagging the important lads#head in my hands I need to redo my tagging system (I say this every year) (I will never do anything to fix it)#ANYWAYS GRRRRGRGRGRRRRR TOONY STYLE. IM SO READY#I thought I was ready last year but failed at the two most important parts of the style: it’s gotta be fun and it’s gotta be fast#your honor if my toon art takes nearly as long as my normal art I HAVE FAILED#that’s what happened last years gamers!!! I need to make more than 12 attacks this year or I’m gonna snap (what’s new)
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i'm seeing three times as many people bitching in the tag about the very idea that someone might not like this breed than i see people actually expressing unambiguous dislike for this breed
#the preemptive counter-bitchers are consistently orders of magnitude meaner and more uncharitable about it too#like i'm convinced at this point these people just have these counter-bitches ready to go on launch regardless of actual reception#it's starting to feel like they just fill out a generic “what moral failing can i accuse the potential idea of dislikers of” template#and post it as soon as the thing's out whether or not anyone actually complains much less the way they accuse people of#these people are getting to the point that even when it's about something i unambiguously *like* i still have to resist the urge#to comment “fr staff aren't gonna fuck you bro”#there's like 11 different posts all insisting that the only reason anyone could dislike the new breed is fatphobia#meanwhile i scrolled down the entire tag and found like 2. maybe 3 people that even mentioned it in the same post as disliking the breed#before anyone gets ideas i'm generally-neutral-to-appreciative of the attempt at moldbreaking on the breed#and am completely indifferent the weight of dragons. the only thing i care about is if the design is original and interesting#a vast majority of the dislike posts i've seen so far have been in the vein of “nah man this one's just not for me” or “too maggot”#or “i hoped for an eldritch horror”. and there's not that many of these dislike posts in general. especially compared to normal.#meanwhile the counter-bitching has all been like “YOU'RE ALL JUST GREEDY UNPLEASABLE ENTITLED WHINY BABY FATPHOBES DIE MAD”#it's like this every time and i feel like it takes less and less to get people going like this every time#it almost feels like they get angrier faster the *less* anyone actually complains in the first place#a behavior pattern i'm well versed in from experience with my mother#and they always seem to get angriest at the most mild polite complaint posters rather than any of the actually questionable ones#like they'll ignore someone spouting clear fatphobia to go fling bigotry accusations at someone who just said “eh i kinda hoped for scary”#they also consistently have a bad case of “fr players are a monolith who all ask for the same things”-brain#i don't know what it is that makes it so fr players are so insecure about liking anything that the possible existence of anyone who doesnt#makes them feel like they're being directly attacked#flight rising#i suspect it's downstream of a similar kind of “we know if we don't get what we want we lose our chance because the devs are fickle” thing#to the fundamental flaw that doomed the minecraft mob votes
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been thinking about this since last night and just - i really dislike it when a competent female main character is levelled to incompetency to push the story forward. i hate it when she has to become a damsel in distress without so much as a good reason for it just so she could be saved by her love interest.
if she needs to be saved or aided by her male LI, there are so many other ways to do it that doesn't completely disregard the intelligence, the experience, and the skill the character has.
#if it isn't obvious I'm still not over rafayel's scorching rain tender moments#like you're telling me this woman can take down wanderers left and right and she gets tased by a civilian?? bc it was a sneak attack??#girl go back to training#at least give her a reaction to it and fail#rather than just “oh i was completely taken by surprise” and got dropped#just so her knight and shining armor can save her#sigh i know this is the nature of games like this#and i know that even the most competent of characters can have their moment if weaknesses#but to me it feels like she has to get saved by every fucking body every chance the they're in frame together#like come on an mc that saves the male lead in a nonchalant way and not in the “i took the hit for you and now I'm dying” sort of way#wouldn't that be nice every once in a while?#mmm I've been thinking about this so much i even had rafayel in my dreams lmfao#atoltia rambles
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made this specifically for the 90s 2000s kids. don’t ask me why i grouped them like this i simply was going on vibes
#anime#poll#FUCK i made it last only one day. forgot. answer quick i guess 😭😭#AND I CLICKED THE WRONG ANSWER TOO#tumblr poll#manga#sailor moon#revolutionary girl utena#inuyasha#cowboy bebop#fullmetal alchemist#demon slayer#black butler#death note#soul eater#hetalia#ouran high school host club#naruto#dragon ball#hunter x hunter#yugioh#bleach#attack on titan#tokyo ghoul#idk if i tagged them all i tried#maybe i will remake this later bc i failed hard#anyway i was on tumblr in 2013 and these were the only things anyone talked about ever. before you question some of my additions here#cowboy bebop and bakugan are honorary mentions i feel like most people don’t Start with bebop but then again idk. it’s such a classic#i wanted to know#and bakugan everyone in elementary school had the toys for but i’m not sure how many actually watched the anime
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uploading stuff to tonic water's toyhouse page and I saw my stupid creepypasta photoshops in his gallery again. i for sure never posted these here and thats a crime. so im rectifying that now
#the absolutely obliterated delibird never fails to make me laugh a bit its so visceral im so sorry#gore#blood#tagging those because i dont want to just jumpscare ppl in the pokemon tags even if its just pixels#stantler#delibird#pokemon#doodlebyte#lucabytetalks#if you want to know what the whole stantler thing (and thus tonic water in general) is about its that sometime in 2019 i decided to#calculatedly choose a pokemon i thought was like. one of the most overlooked. but still from an early gen so it would have a bunch of#basically obligatory merchandise for me to collect. so just. most boring possible guy in gen 2.... and then i just increasingly found#them funnier and funnier. i do have like a genuinely pretty bulky collection of stantler merch. BUT ITS ALL THE SAME 1-2 STOCK ART OVER#AND OVER AGAIN. SO ITS JUST REALLY FUNNY. JUST NOTHING BUT THE SAME 1 BORING STANDING POSE.#and then tonic water himself is just . an oc . hes funny to me. hes just really vile and should probably be put down for like.#having repeatedly attacked people unprompted. but his trainer likes him despite them basically having a straight man/sicko dynamic#this is my childhood ds lite btw sometimes it crashes on bootup on a white screen. which is rlly helpful for photoshops
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Two other attacks from this years art fight 🎊🎉 @gunkmusher
#I wasn’t able to submit the second one in time sadly#I failed at artfight this year I’m so sorry y’all#I’m moving from my house this month and I ended up over planning stuff#thankfully I know most of the ppl who’ve attacked me are also on here so I can still draw their charcters !!#still really happy with how these came out#second ones character belongs to flowermints on artfight#art fight#art fight 2023#artfight attack#af 2023#art crumbs
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kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment
#i have a lot to say but i think it all boils down to this:#the only reason people think this way is because they experienced body shaming & bullying for their fatness#& instead of gaining a healthy relationship with their body & its needs they went full denial mode#people that aren't fat that think this way are just going with things uncritically which is also bad btw#because when you have decades of proof that being severely overweight can be detrimental to your health#(& no i don't mean fucking. supersize me. i mean medical proof that too much fat causes diseases & early death)#but you're ignoring that because a tiktok influencer that has no medical experience said so#that is a huge lack of critical thinking skills on display & people are gonna listen to that misinformation & some might die#this isn't some light shit that can be waved off as non-harmful because it IS harmful! it is actively hurting people!!#again being unhealthy isn't a moral failing & no one deserves shit for that!! but that's the whole damn point isn't it!!!#militant fat activists are so afraid of their fatness being associated with anything negative they turn right around into ableism#they don't WANT to be considered disabled! because being disabled IS a moral failing to them. disability is abnormal#& of course being morbidly obese is totally normal. because if it wasn't then they'd need to do work & handle an ED#& that's too much to grapple with mentally so. no. they're normal. super normal. don't look at the lifespan of someone over 300lb#btw i am 100% aware that a lot of this is combined with other issues like racism sexism homo/transphobia genuine fatphobia#but also sometimes they really can't operate on someone that can't recover afterwards#like i wouldn't call the vet bigoted & cat-hating for being unable to operate on my 20yo cat#Minnie would simply not survive that. because she is so damn old#unfortunately for Minnie she can't get younger but people CAN lose weight in multiple different ways#& it may seem like the world is attacking you but you really have to train yourself out of automatic bad faith reactions#''you couldn't possibly understand!!'' yeah okay i'm sooo abled & privileged you got me there (<-sarcasm. if you couldn't tell)#just because someone hasn't experienced your EXACT thing doesn't mean they can't relate & haven't gone through similar#it's so difficult to train your brain out of that shit i get that but you really really really have to. or you will die#or at least be miserable#DISCLAIMER: i'm not talking about every person who has even a little fat on their body. fat is NEEDED#but like all things too much of a good thing can cause problems & fat is not exempt#this is about morbid obesity. not someone who's like 160lb that shit is normal#& people need to stop thinking anything over 110lb is fat#because it isn't & i think most people are getting into unhealthy territory at that low of a weight#basically i view being too fat the same as being too thin. they both cause health problems & should be taken seriously
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Wondering if tumblr is really good for me
#fudge does a talky talk#idk im just thinking#i keep on going to reply sections (bad idea)#and find myself getting into arguments#but what im most concerned about is how#idk harsh i feel im becoming?#like i try my best to somewhat be polite even in repkies but I find myself failing#and i feel like the hostility in tumblr reply sections in general might be a part of that#idk i probably just need to stay away from replies#i geuss whats concerning as well is that i usually tried to avoid arguments in the past#it felt like a pointless waste of energy that wouldn't change the other oersons mind anyway and woukd juetclead to anger on both sides#maybe in some ways its better that I'm more open to the idea people won't always be closed minded but#idk if thats worth the amount of aggression that usually comes with using tumblr reoky sections#or if replying and argueing at all is really worth it#or maybe I'm just blaming tumblr for a me problem idk#because I'll admit deep down kindness is not my first instinct#it is unfortunately to insult and attack perceived threats#i try to manage that but i don't always succeed#maybe tumblr doesn't help but idk#I know I don't usually make posts like these but#i geuss i should in case this leads to me not using tumblr as much? idk if thats going to haooen honestly but I'm thinking#In case it does i felt i should post this so people would udnerstand whats going on#i geuss i don't exactly owe anyone that but#I also wanted to get this off my chest#the more i think about it i think this is more of a 'tumblr bringing out the worst in me' then 'tumblr making me act a way i usually wouldn#idk what haplened with the reoly sections though i really used to not do that#geuss I've been desperate for human interaction? and getting into arguments is easier then starting a freindly conversation with someone#and idk maybe I've been feeling frusterated and like I can't really express my feelings to the people around me#so I've also been craving being able to actually say I don't agree with something#vent post
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nice to know that that one of the players i fought against in a brief bit of dnd pvp was using a min maxed character and was apparently using fudged rolls
#or something. we were level 5 with some very minor allowances and somehow this wizard(? spellcaster) had 20s in str and con#and some bullshit with iirc like 20 base ac that wqs. not particularly fun#like even on the way out me and most of the og group were like. what the fuck was that. and considering checking out the sheet#bc that was. no way was that a natural level five min max or not#delete later that was just. fucking hell#my character got killed by a fireball but only failed the dex save bc smth they had going on raised the dc by 1#i was playing a fighter with samurai subclass so if give the chance i would have fighting spirit- attack + bonus attack#+ action surge - attack bonus attack offhand weapons attack#but i really doubt it wouldve done much with that fucked ac#it did just reek of like. aggressive min max n roll flubbing- iirc the person sitting next to them mentioned they probably lied abt stuff
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School is draining any small motivation I had for art
or creativity in general
(tw: I got pretty much depressive in the tags but I needed to dump this somewhere and this may not be the best place but is where I feel better talking about my problems or insecurities, so feel free to ignore)
#vent in the tags#tw vent#i'm tired#and I hate that I'm tired#everytime I try to finish education is worst than the last time. my head can't take any sort of information from the class#no matter how many times they try to explain me or how many times I read and reread the same text#I can't focus. I can't memorize anything. I'm just sitting there in the classroom waiting for the 4 hours to finish to go back home#and spend the rest of the night just doing nothing. staring at the walls or doomscrolling till I have to go to bed and wake up again#for another day of fighting against an stupid anxiety attack in class because I'm going to fail this again#I hate school. I fucking hate it. the most boring stressing overwhelming way of learning#having the teacher talk for 1-2 hours straight and the student listening the whole time not saying anything is stupid#it's so fucking stupid they only want them to be mindless sheeps that only listen#because if you say anything 'no. you're wrong. I'm the teacher and I know better' fucking bullshit#this system is bullshit#and how am I supposed to study a whole school year of history. biology. math etc in less than 4 months??#everybody was like#'oh it's just 4 months and you'll be out of school!' 'in 4 months you'll get the education!' 'you can finish this in just 4 months!'#I fucking can't! I can't do this in such short time! I can't. focus. on 6. subjects at the same time. my brain can't!#and it's so fucking depressing. I have 4 opportunities to finish this. the longest it could take me is 2 years#I could just focus on 1 or 2 things each time but if I fail too many times I won't have another opportunity like this ever again#and I won't be able to finish highschool education and I. just. can't.#I'm tired of giving my biggest effort and not being enough. I'm tired of getting no satisfaction from any achievement I get#I hate so many things right now#and I have a lot more things in my head right now but I better shut up#you don't have to comfort me. it's ok. I'm not searching for confort. I just needed a place to dump my frustration or something#idk#you can ignore this#I might delete this later
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lads i think i may quite literally be drowning
#multiple panic attacks today over the amount of work i need to complete over the next 10 days to not like. drop fail everything.#i can feel my heart at like. all times at this point.#i need to write planning documents for like 6 different events this week#and then also write commentary describing why these plans are effective#and then also create all the handouts that are supposed to go with these plans#on top of creating an overarching plan for another class (in the group that refuses to respond or contribute anything)#on top of creating a presentation for the same class (same group)#and all of it is still due. within 10 days.#i legitimately don't know what to do other than weep continuously and just work without stopping.#my stomach hurts because i had to scarf down my food in time to keep working#i still need to complete one of those planning documents tonight to stay on track but i need to sleep in an hour if i want to be functional#i'm drowning in the most dire way possible
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the 'i am thankful to be his padawan' to 'it's his fault i committed genocide' to 'he's like a father to me' pipeline <3
#star wars#my post#attack of the clones#never fails to make me LOSE it#anakin and padme are the two most insane individuals in the galaxy#and obi-wan is a close second#why is everyone so insane in the prequels#anakin will not shut up about obi-wan this entire movie and it drives me insane#meanwhile padme is like red flags? yes please tell me more#compared to all that obi-wan seems the most sane but let me tell you#he's a tired snarky alcoholic who jumps out of skyscraper windows like that's a normal thing to do#he's like 35 but should have retired 10 years ago#like the original trio are some truly goodhearted people who believe in something and manage to pull off the impossible because of it#the prequel lot are severely overcompetent absolute disasters who can and will fuck up the entire world order because of personal reasons#and i love it#anyway anakin being an emo teenager about obi-wan will always be my fave#he is so so insane#<3
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At what point do i stop bothering to differentiate between the panic and anxiety attacks when they just. meld into each other and seemingly feed off each other
#text post#i have been fighting my brain since i woke up bc like. I dont actually feel anxious?? abt work or anything else but#my brain has the WE ARE NOT SAFE DO NOT REST DO NOT BREATHE WRONG OR SO HELP YOU GOD neon sign flashing constantly today#All ive succeeded (lol) in doing is most of the dishes (couple need to soak) a failed filming and now#i would like a couple hours of Minecraft before work#but i am uncertain the brain will allow for it lmao#had to come back upstairs to my room after dishes bc brain just. freaking out. too open. too many windows.#anyway. apologies if im not as available as i intended to be today#good thing is thus far i don't work the upcoming week/weekend so i can catch up then#try and finish some drafts and talk to friends more and everything#im babbling in the tags willing myself to stop sweating and snap out of what i think is actually an anxiety attack but#no idea on what the trigger was since all i did was wake the fuck up#back to music to help and maybe Minecraft until work#thank u all for ur continued patience with me ❤️
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Brain worms so bad....
Still rolling nowhere king Khan around but. Nowhere king Khan from a different universe. He got pulled to Hisui against his will and was trying to go home. The Akari from his universe was pulled along with him and they were family. Khan was trying to get her home. To keep her safe. He destroyed himself for her but they both ended up stuck. Khan became a monster and Akari couldn't stop him. When the Khan from this universe arrives, trying to help Ingo get home, she's livid and jealous. This universe's Khan made it. This universe's Akari made it. They made a family. She and Khan, her Khan, had tried, to find others, but they were so constantly ostracized that their only companions were pokemon.
She's happy for them as much as she hates them. Her only family has completely lost his mind and there is no future he will ever survive in. And when he offers his head to her, waits to be killed, that Akari thinks about how her older brother tried so hard to get them back. To take them home. That he loved a sibling he wasn't related to so dearly he destroyed himself instead. And as much as she's angry and hurt, she can't kill him. She cant.
He's not going to give her a second chance.
#Khan a.#Centaurworld au#It's becoming convoluted and I'm enjoying it#The Khan that other universe Akari came with IS lab experiment Khan (my usual bastard)#The Khan that Ingo and Co have traveled with is Zoroark Khan#When Akari fails to kill the lab bastard he goes to attack her and Zoroark Khan charges him#Distracts him long enough that they can get older Akari out of the rift#Poor Emmet is so confused. His brother called to him from a rift in space time and he found his brother. Yay!#But also an angry abomination trying to kill people#Lab bastard Khan was trying to force Arceus and giratina to send him and Akari back to where they belonged#But failed#Also not me shoving the platonic love between Khan and Akari to the forefront of every interaction#Not me being terrified people will assume I'm shipping them. Less from the cringe perspective and more#Seems like most oc & canon interactions tend to be ship and. They're v much not. Just family.#Am I posting late at night to be sneaky again? Yes#I now have two centaurworld AUs ft Zoroark Khan. They just split on who the nowhere king is.#Make that 3. Now I'm thinking of one where Khan isn't involved with the 'herd' at all and only fulfills the nowhere king role
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Starting my learning of competitive pokemon and resisting against the very very strong desire to only ever use Mons with a setup sweeper/wallbreaker set
#le ramblings#“Utility Set” “Bulky Pivot” “Hazard Setter” uhh Shut The Fuck Up Nerd (Smogon Analysis Pages) ☝️🤓#252 SP/ATK 252 SPEED + LIFE ORB + SWORDS/DRAGON DANCE + 3 ATTACKS FOR ONLY MY MOST LOVED MONS#>They die to a resisted move#>They die as I fail to renove their checks#>I have no hazards/support/walls
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one thing about me is that im like. really proud of myself
#i remember being a terrified freshman. i used to have panic attacks in the hallway and lose weeks literal weeks of my life#i thought everyone was out to get me i was too scared to speak most of the time i was angry and aggressive (more so than i am now)#(i was also unimaginably cringe but thats mostly beside the point)#i was failing most of my classes i was barely surviving. jesus christ look at me now#im alive. im still struggling but im doing way better#i have real friends. several of them!!!#i get my homework done i pay attention my teachers like me i can advocate for myself#im comfortable. im pretty happy. im going to get into college#i know what im doing. people respect me most of the time. its still hard and im still scared#but fuckin hell. look at me go#plush.txt
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