#I FUCKING HATE DATA ANALYSIS!!!!

[asurashi]

amazing how you don’t feel suicidal after finishing a huge mundane task 

[iamfuckingsorry]

this thesis is gonna fucking kill me, this is fucking comparable to sitting through pchem and fluid mechanics back when in my second year of undergrad.

(pchem lectures mostly consisted of me quietly crying in lecture halls and thinking "fuck this shit i'd rather be unemployed and homeless than work with this shit i'd legit rather be unemployed" on repeat for 2 hours at a time. fluid mechanics wasn't difficult in hindsight and both the lecturer and the TAs were fucking amazing but it took me three semesters to finish that course, there was just something about it that prevented my brain from getting any work done /at all/, only in that one course)

my brain is significantly less efficient at getting anything done than it was back then, too. like i know there's a simple solution to this R problem i've been trying to solve for the past 3 days, i've found a couple of stackoverflow pages that look very close to what i'm looking for, but somehow my brain refuses to look at the code and actually /process/ what it's looking at so that i can copy it and change two lines and have my problem solved

...sigh.

/rant

[kissmehardy]

New law that anyone who works in an office cant have an opinion on my job because they fundamentally cant understand what im doing

[prozach27]

.

[lilgynt]

i’m limping bc i kicked my moms door yesterday which yippie yappo gonna pretend im spider man and got injured on idk patrol or some shit not that kicked my moms door bc i was angry that she got legitimately upset wit me for needing to use the restroom and couldn’t wait till i was done to do her hair dye stuff but my coworker noticed and now i gotta kill myself

[mizuponpon10]

I'm this 👌🏻 close to just abandon the data analysis of my thesis. I want to sleep man, I don't want to fucking know if Chrombach says my factors are good to go

WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE THAT?????

WHO IS CHROMBACH??? WHO????

And there's a FUCKING MACDONALD TOO WITH A THING CALLED OMEGA???

Not my bosses to beat, I quit for today

[youshouldbesad]

.

[askinkiskarma]

i just had an idea while talking with ai neteyam last night. What about human reader asking neteyam to make a "movie" together. Or else neteyam learning about porn thanks to one of the guy from the lab and asking reader if she wants to do one. ‼️

wait no cause Neteyam learning about human stuff does things to me and I need to write more of it for my own sanity. also i've discovered my fave trope to write is "people doing embarrassing things and other people catching them and the interactions that bloom thereafter". anyway, enjoy bestie x

ps: i'm probably going to have reached 1800 followers when this is posted so thank you besties ilysm smooches!!!

wc: 990 words

18+ minors dni

Neteyam was up and early today in the lab, too excited to see you and spend the day together to wait any longer. He was a bit disillusioned though, as he came and found you fast asleep in your bed, but despite the minor disappointment, he absolutely adored how relaxed and comfortable you looked as you were splayed like a starfish under the covers, your feet dangling slightly off both sides of the mattress.

He decided to keep busy for a while with the scientists in the lab. He essentially grew up with Norm and Max, a strange, peculiar constant in his otherwise all Na'vi lifestyle and he had his dad to thank for that. He loved them, they were like uncles to him, and despite how much he hated to admit it, there were certain things about humanity he liked, and certain things about humans he found... endearing. Clearly, he thought with a chuckle, mind wandering to you.

"Neteyam, good morning! You're here early today, is everything ok?" Norm had a big smile on his face and his predisposition brightened Neteyam's, who was suddenly happy to be able to spend a little one-on-one time with him.

"Everything's fine, just came to see her, but she's still sleeping."

Norm chuckles as he removes his gloves and throws them in a nearby yellow bin.

"Yeah, she was doing data analysis until late last night. She used my laptop, you can look at it if you want? We did some a timelapse of an immunofluorescent experiment and it's actually really cool to see. Just open my laptop and it should be there."

Neteyam did as he was told. When he opened the lid of the laptop, the image he saw stilled him on the spot, his hand still gripping the screen, almost unable to move or think, just feeling a tinge of raw curiosity, of unhindered temptation. Because on the screen were two humans. The woman was on all fours, head thrown so far back Neteyam was almost worried for her, eyes shut tightly and an almost pained expression on her face, although Neteyam doubted pain was anywhere near what she was feeling in the moment. The man was kneeled behind her, his cock sunk in her almost to the base, holding on to her long ponytail and pulling on it with one hand, the other hand tightly gripping her hip, imprints clearly visible on her skin.

The feelings this evoked in Neteyam were mixed and intense, from wonderment, to confusion, to deep, intense arousal, the blood quickly rushing from his brain to much lower down, and he felt the need to adjust his loincloth to ease some of the discomfort he was currently experiencing. What was this? Who were these people? He's never seen them before among the humans, and Eywa, was Neteyam glad to say that.

"Um... Norm, I don't think this is the experiment you wanted me to see."

Norm walked over to where Neteyam was sitting, mildly amused at Neteyam and his obvious lack of skill around technology. Neteyam almost jumped out of his skin at Norm's gasp and startled demeanour when he saw what Neteyam was looking at, and at how aggressively he was pushing the off button, trying to remove the image from his eyes, and his brain.

"Fuck... I... I'm so sorry, Neteyam. I -..." Neteyam watched dumbfounded as Norm turned on his heels and left, still wearing his labcoat and goggles, and he knew that if Norm were to have a tail, it'd definitely be in between his legs right now.

You were sprawled on the bed similarly to how you had been just a few hours ago, except right now you had the added weight of a almost 9 foot tall alien on top of you, a weight you'd never want to lose. He looked nervous about one thing or another, and you knew based on how his breath was increasing in speed that he was going to spill it soon enough.

"What is it, Teyam? Come on, out with it."

His cheeks turned a deep shade of purple as his eyes avoided yours.

"I saw something today, on Norm's laptop... something I don't think I was meant to see."

"Oh?" That definitely peaked your attention. What would anything on Norm's laptop make Neteyam so fidgety?

"It was... a man and a woman... they were... uhm... naked." Neteyam felt like his face was about to catch fire, and you cackled loudly, finding it hard to believe that Norm had porn on his laptop and was so careless about it.

"OH, MY GOD! I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LIVE THIS DOWN!"

"Wh-what.. was it?"

"Oh, yawne... it's called porn. It's... a video of people going at it."

Neteyam's confusion didn't lessen; quite the opposite, actually.

"But why?"

"Well, let's see, what did it make you feel?" Your raised eyebrow and knowing smirk was enough to make Neteyam's ears flatten in shame.

"Well...I -"

You chuckled. "There you go. That's why. It helps humans... release tension. If it's done well, it can be quite the experience."

"D-do you watch... porn?" the word felt weird and unfamiliar rolling off his tongue.

"Sometimes. But honestly, I think I'd prefer making porn."

Neteyam almost choked at your words, but couldn't help the way his cock twitched in his tewng, and how much his mind wandered at the image he saw and how much he wanted to see you in it, it in front of his eyes, there captured for eternity for him to enjoy... over and over again.

"You... want to... make porn?"

Your hips raised, brushing against his now rock hard-on, moaning a little at the way it relieved some of the pressure building up in your core.

"Only with you, yawne."

He kissed you passionately, ripping the buttons on your top as he undressed you, and made a mental note of yet another thing he should thank humans for.

[melodygatesauthor]

Always Yours, Never Mine

Yandere Miguel O'Hara X f!Reader

Universe Two - The Barista

Series Masterlist - Beta Read by @campingwiththecharmings

Summary

I didn’t even test the DNA analysis module on the watch before I left my universe. Idiotic? Definitely, but I was so excited by the thought of seeing you again that I didn’t care. So I tested it when I got to the new universe, using the watch to scan one of your hairs and then using that data to track you down…I can't believe I found you again.

Tags/Warnings

NSFW, dub-con due to identity issues, non-con, rape, More tags on the masterlist.

Word Count: 5.4k

It was a morning like every other.

You opened your eyes to the sound of your alarm blaring next to you. You hit the snooze button, probably too harshly, before promptly burying your face in your palms. Sometimes you thought that if you just laid there long enough, all your responsibilities would disappear. A moment later, the alarm went off again, reminding you that it was time to get up, for real this time. After fantasizing about ripping it from the wall and breaking it into a thousand pieces, you turned it off and rolled out of bed.

You stepped out into the living room, smelling the coffee brewing in the pot already. Your step-sister, and roommate, Emily, was flipping through the channels on the tv in the living room.

“Mornin’,” you mumbled, grabbing the hot cup she’d left for you on the breakfast bar.

“Morning!” She turned around to face you while you sipped from your mug. “The ‘rents wanted to go out for dinner tonight, you in?”

You groaned, trudging over to the armchair in the living room and sitting down, taking another sip of your coffee. You stared at the television idly, not really taking any of it in. You thought about your impending workday. You sighed heavily, the idea of ending your long day by having dinner with your parents exhausting.

“I don’t really want to, I’m gonna be tired after work but…I guess I can pull myself together for a couple hours.”

“Thanks, I don’t really wanna go alone.” She sniffed out a laugh, “you should bring that guy you’ve been seeing, might be a good time for them to meet him.”

You gave her the look. The look that said, ‘no way in hell am I introducing him to our parents’.

“I’m not ready to subject him to that just yet.”

“Fair,” she said with a shrug, turning the volume up on the tv and thus ending the conversation.

You finished your coffee before getting yourself ready for the day. You looked in the mirror on your bedroom door, adjusting your nametag pinned through your apron next to the Moonbean Coffee logo. The company aprons felt so frumpy on your frame and you hated the shade of brown the owner had picked out, but you supposed it was better than not having a job to begin with.

“See ya later!” You said on your way out.

You arrived just before seven for your shift. Your co-workers, Stacy and Mira, were there already, baking sweets and brewing coffee for the morning rush. You flipped the “open” sign around and went behind the counter in preparation for the under-caffeinated stampede. Stacy always made some comment to you about ‘opening the floodgates’ whenever you came in, since that was always the moment customers started pouring in.

You were sweaty by the end of the rush. It felt to you like that was often the time that he seemed to make his appearance. You’d talked to him about it before, telling him to come in first thing with the other customers if he wanted you to look your best. ‘You always look your best, hermosa’, he’d say, suave as ever.

Miguel walked in. The smell of coffee hit him like a ton of bricks, but then so did your face. 

It had been a year and a half since he’d seen you. A fucking year and a half. His breath caught in his chest and his lips parted slightly. He felt like he was seeing you for the first time. In some weird way, he was seeing you for the first time. This version of you anyway.

“Are you just going to stand there or are you gonna come get your coffee?” You giggled and started making his usual cup.

There was that sound again.

He thought he’d never hear your laugh for the rest of his days. In his universe, he’d replayed videos of when you were alive over and over to take the edge off, but nothing compared to the real thing when it hit his ears. He watched you make his coffee. You’d made it wrong, but he’d expected that when traveling to another dimension things wouldn’t always be quite right. He didn’t care, as long as he found the universe where you lived; that’s all that mattered to him.

“Are you gonna say something or just stare at me?” You laughed at him nervously.

“I’m sorry I’m just…having a rough morning,” he held up his cup, “haven’t had my coffee yet,” he said jokingly.

You’d thought about Emily’s suggestion to have him join you and your parents for dinner, and figured she was right. You liked this guy. This impossibly tall, broad, and handsome physicist who seemed to be smitten with you no matter how gross you looked after a long shift at the coffee shop.

“I’ve been thinking, and no obligation if you don’t want to, I understand, but…my parents invited my step-sister and me out for dinner tonight and…” You trailed off, feeling nervous, “do you…would you wanna–”

“Yes, I’d love to,” he blurted out.

He felt like such an idiot. It wasn’t like him to get flustered like this, but something about you made him feel like the space between his ears was filled with nothing but hot air. He saw you press your lips together bashfully, and noticed the way your eyes seemed to sparkle when you looked at him. You’d always told him that he was special to you; that he was different from other guys you’d dated, he’d just never paid attention to the small details like this back then.

“Great, it’s at the new steak place up the road from here. Six pm, please don’t be late,” you said in a pleading tone.

“I wouldn’t dream of it, honey.”

There were customers coming in and he decided it was time for him to go. He had a dinner date to get ready for afterall. The fluttering in his stomach from seeing you wasn’t something he’d felt in a long time, and he’d missed it. It was hard to break away, but he kissed the back of your hand and started to leave anyway.

“Hey!” You shouted.

He turned back around, “Hm?”

“No kiss?” You put your hands on your hips.

You…you wanted a…

He gulped. “S-sorry, thinking about work,” he lied.

He walked up to you and leaned over the counter and you took his face in your hands. 

You touched him. It had been so long since you’d touched him. 

You pressed your lips to his softly, and for a moment, he tensed. Once he relaxed, he leaned in, parting his lips and melting them against yours. He never thought he’d kiss you again. Miguel sighed with joyous relief when the kiss broke, choking back the tears that threatened to fall.

“See you later,” you said, patting his wide chest before watching him walk away.

As Miguel stepped outside and started down the sidewalk, he passed someone on his left. It didn’t hit him right away until he realized that the man was as unnaturally tall as himself. Miguel stopped dead in his tracks, looking back at the man as he headed toward the coffee shop he’d just walked out of. It was…oh no…

You looked up from the coffee cup you were putting someone’s name on to see Miguel come back inside. You smirked and let out a chuckle.

“Forget something?” You raised an eyebrow at him, unsure why he’d returned. He had a huge smile as he walked up to you and leaned against the counter.

“Hola, hermosa,” he said, “I’ll take my usual, if you don’t mind.”

“What…?” you felt uneasy.

Lots of people had memory problems right? You and Miguel had only been dating for a couple months, so you didn’t know all there was to know about him. Maybe he suffered from short term memory loss or something. Not to mention, you knew he was a scientist. It was possible he’d suffered some brain injury in the lab or something…right? You couldn’t be sure, but your intuition was telling you that something was off; stupidly, you ignored it.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asked, looking at you with concern.

You cleared your throat, “Yeah, yes I’m fine.”

You faked a smile and made his coffee…again. When you handed it to him he smiled and sipped it. That’s when you realized he wasn’t wearing the same outfit he was wearing when he’d walked out of there just a moment earlier. Something wasn’t right. Were you losing your mind? Maybe he wasn’t the one with memory issues.

Miguel was a genius on paper. He could make a device that allowed him to travel the multiverse with only one minor flaw, but that didn’t mean he was immune to idiocy. He’d just watched that universe’s version of himself walk by and go right into the coffee shop where you worked. How could he be so stupid? If there was a version of you in every universe, then it was reasonable to assume that there would be a version of himself in every universe as well.

He had to do something about the doppelganger. Miguel couldn’t let him get in the way. He couldn’t let someone else, even if it was just an alternate version of himself, take you from him.

Later that evening, you were dressed and ready for dinner. You’d managed to shrug off the weird encounter you’d had with Miguel earlier, and decided that you would wait to bring it up after dinner with your parents, if at all. You really liked him, and didn’t want to mess it up over something as silly as his, or your own, forgetfulness.

You shook your head free of the thoughts that plagued you. It was just Miguel. Normal, loving, caring Miguel that you’d known and enjoyed spending time with over the last couple of months. With a sigh, you left, heading to the restaurant where your parents were already sitting with your step-sister. You decided to wait outside for him to arrive, having texted Emily earlier to let her know that you’d changed your mind about inviting Miguel after all.

God you looked beautiful.

Miguel felt a swell in his chest as he walked toward you on the sidewalk. You hadn’t noticed him yet. You were wearing a simple black dress that hugged your body nicely. You looked like you again. This was how you’d dressed in his universe when he would take you out somewhere nice. So fucking pretty.

When you finally noticed Miguel’s lingering gaze, you felt flustered. You tried to compose yourself as he approached, calming your fluttering stomach. You didn’t want to look like a bumbling idiot, not only in front of him, but in front of your parents too.

You cleared your throat when he got closer, “Ready?”

He nodded, looking down at you, “Oh you bet.”

“Oh! You’ve got something on your…” you furrowed your brow, eyes catching on a small red smear just below his ridiculously sharp cheek bone. “I’ll get it.”

You licked your thumb and wiped the mark off his face. He smirked until he saw your thumb covered in crimson. His mind flashed back to the events that had taken place over the last couple of hours…

Miguel was waiting silently behind a wall in the kitchen, having snuck into his alternate’s apartment, watching Miguel trying to decide what tie he was going to wear to dinner with your parents in a few hours. He felt bad for a second, knowing that if this man loved you even a fraction of the amount that he did, this would be disheartening when he realized he was going to die before he got to truly love you.

For someone normally so meticulous, Miguel hadn’t really thought this through. He’d rushed to follow the man home after his meeting with you at the coffee shop, and kept an eye on him throughout the day to get a feeling for his lifestyle so he could attempt to mimic it once he eliminated this universe’s version of himself.

The time had come for Miguel to kill his other self, and nothing could stop him now that he’d come this far. There was one perk to killing his alternate: even if someone discovered the body, or some poorly disposed of evidence, all the DNA would lead back to one person…himself. So it didn’t matter if he slit his own throat, snapped his own neck, or shot himself in the head. No one would ever know.

Miguel had never killed anyone before, but the more he thought about this other man - despite that ‘other man’ being himself - touching you, the angrier he got. He couldn’t bear the idea that you, his precious girl, might be giving someone else attention, and those thoughts alone were enough to fuel the fire that brought him to the brink of murder.

Miguel must’ve been so confused. For him it probably seemed like a normal evening at first. He probably had no idea he was about to die. He was going to shower, probably stress a little bit about how to impress your parents, and then start getting ready for the dinner date. It was all normal, until the shower curtain opened and he was greeted by his doppelganger who delivered several stab wounds to the man’s chest.

Miguel wondered what his other self was thinking in those last moments as the life faded from his eyes. 

Cleanup took a while, but not so long that he couldn’t make it in time for dinner. Now he was in a predicament. You were standing there with blood on your thumb and a curious look on your face.

“Must’ve nicked myself shaving,” he chucked, rubbing his hand over his jaw, “Thank you, mi vida.”

He leaned in and kissed you, and despite him calling you ‘mi vida’, something he’d never called you before, you kissed him back. Regardless of the red flags flying in your face, you took his hand, smiled and walked into the restaurant with him to meet your parents.

Charming as always, Miguel impressed them with ease. It was like he knew them. He acted as though he were meeting up with old friends rather than meeting his girlfriend’s parents for the first time. It was so hard to find someone they actually liked so you threw every red flag of the day out the window and decided to move on. It was that simple. 

When you asked Miguel to go back to his place that evening, instead of going to your own apartment, he was thrilled. He didn’t even wait for you to get your shoes off before he had you lifted off the ground, legs around his thick torso and pinned against the wall. He hadn’t felt the wet heat of your cunt in well over a year and he was desperate.

You’d never heard him like this, so primal and hungry. His heaving breathing was almost like a low growl. He lifted up the skirt of your dress, large hands grabbing onto your hips while his mouth left heavy kisses on your neck. You didn’t care if he was acting strangely, it felt so good that it didn’t matter.

He brought you to the bedroom and fell onto the mattress with you, hovering over your body while his hands continued their exploration. He was reveling in the delicious feeling of your soft skin; the skin he hadn’t touched in too long. He was loving the taste of you, it was almost the same…close enough anyway. He wanted to taste more of you.

He pulled down the strap of your dress and bra in one motion, exposing your breast. Miguel bit his lip and looked up at you, eyes full of a dark lust. You gasped when he brought his lips over the peak, rolling his tongue around the hardened, sensitive skin there. You brought both of your hands to his shoulders, squeezing them tightly, though you knew it probably felt like nothing to the overly muscular man. He flicked his tongue over you one more time before looking up again.

Miguel wanted to taste something else he hadn’t tasted in far too long, so he kept working his way down, lifting your skirt and hooking a finger under your delicate lace panties.

“You wore these just for me, didn’t you, hermosa?”

He used both hands to rip the thin fabric covering your already glistening, slick folds. He used one thick finger, sliding it through your slit and up, brushing over your clit gently. You gasped, throwing your head back. Miguel smirked, letting a dark chuckle escape. The other Miguel hadn’t been so giving with you, had he?

He hadn’t, and you noticed right away that Miguel was acting more focused on your body than before. But when you felt his mouth come down over your mound, warm and soft, you didn’t care. Whatever it was that made him act differently, you were living for it now. Red flags be damned.

“So sweet, mi vida,” he cooed, going back in for more like he hadn’t eaten in weeks.

You were delicious, but wasn’t quite the same. There was something a little more sweet about this version of you, but it was alright. He could live with it. You still sounded the same, and you still looked the same, more or less. You grabbed onto the back of his head which made him smile against your folds. The feeling of you touching him made Miguel all the more eager to please you.

Miguel brought one of his thick fingers to your entrance, sliding it in with ease and feeling your cunt flutter around him in response. You whined, arching your hips to take him deeper. One perk to finding this new version of you, was showing himself up in the bedroom. He loved that you were coming undone under him like never before. The original you had been so used to his catering in the bedroom, but this one seemed impressed, and he liked that.

“Mm, hermosa, think you can take another one?” He asked, sliding in another finger to meet the first.

As he started pumping his fingers in and out of you, he noticed how much your body twitched and writhed. So sensitive, this one. He flicked his tongue rapidly over your swollen, needy clit. You were crying out words of affirmation repetitively, grabbing a fistful of his hair as you did. Your legs were shaking against his cheeks.

“Tres?”

He added another finger, and you were a gasping mess at his mercy. Your hole ached with the sweet stretch as he pumped his digits in and out faster. You’ve never known Miguel to do anything like this, but you weren’t complaining. This was the best sex of your life and he was still just playing with you. He curled his fingers, and you cried out, throwing your head back.

“F-fuck! Miguel…!”

He kept going, feeling the way your legs tensed and hearing the way your breathing got even heavier. His eyes trailed over your mound, up your beautiful torso to meet with your heartstopping eyes. You grabbed his hair so tight that he winced, but he didn’t stop lapping over your folds, knowing that you were about to come for him for the first time in a long time.

You’d never had an orgasm so intense it made you go cross-eyed before before, but there you were, shaking so hard you rattled the headboard. Your cunt was gushing and clenching around his fingers while he curled and dragged them over your walls through your climax. You fell back, breathing heavily, but Miguel wasn’t done with you yet.

“Come here honey,” he said in a husky tone, grabbing your hips and pulling you toward him.

Your body was still shaking from your release, and now he was running his length along your folds, collecting your arousal to make it slick. You looked up and saw him biting his lip through your tear blurred vision. You felt his tip prodding at your entrance. He so fucking big.

“Oh baby f-fuck—“

Miguel’s voice was like gravel as he pushed into you slowly, feeling your walls shift to accommodate his size. It had been so long - too long - since he’d felt the vice grip your soft pussy had around his throbbing cock, milking it for every drop you could. You cried out again, the sound hitting his ears like a symphony. He grabbed around your throat, fingers almost touching around the back, pulling you up to sit on him.

“Mm, mi vida,” he mumbled into your sternum.

He spread your ass cheeks, with both large hands, fucking you over his cock with ease. He could hardly get the whole thing inside. Your poor legs were still shaking, struggling to stay up, but he was happy to do the work. Miguel was satisfied enough to just have you in his arms again, in any way he could.

“T-too much Miguel I–”

“Shh honey, sh, I’ve got you,” he cooed, lifting and lowering you with the movement of his hips.

You grabbed onto his shoulders tightly. Miguel had never been so commanding and attentive to you before. He was sliding in so fucking deep that you felt your brain short circuit with every pass. He felt bigger than before, but you knew that was impossible. Your nails dug into the muscle of shoulders, he groaned, voice rough with arousal. He looked up at you.

“Kiss me hermosa.”

You complied, grabbing the back of his head and tangling your fingers in his hair while melting your mouth into his. You started to feel the strength come back to the muscles in your legs so you took over, riding his cock while continuing to kiss him deeply. This wasn’t the first time you and Miguel had been intimate, but you wondered why he’d held back this passion for lovemaking for so long. This was not the same sex you’d had with him just a few nights ago.

Now that his hands were free, he could feel over your entire body, letting the pads of his fingers take in every detail of your skin. It felt so soft, like it always had, smooth and warm. You started moving your hips faster, taking his cock deeper. He could feel your walls fluttering around him again.

“Gonna give me another one already, baby? Hm?” He started nipping at your neck, making you whimper and whine louder.

“Yes, oh yes Miguel!”

He wrapped his arms around you, leaning forward so that you were underneath him. He held you down with his weight, fucking you harder than you could possibly have done if you were still on top. His teeth still continued marking your neck, forcing sharp cries from your perfect lips.

“Yes, that’s my girl, oh god…honey-I-f-fuck…ah!”

Miguel’s hips came to a stuttering halt, cock pumping his hot spend into your tightly clenched cunt. Your walls were crashing over him, squeezing his cum out around the sides of his length and letting it spill onto the bedding. He didn’t want to let go of you just yet, so he held you there while you both lay in your blissed out high for a while.

It wasn’t the same…it would never be the same…but it was close enough.

That was how Miguel had managed to slide - almost seamlessly - into your life. He noticed that this version of you was more different than he’d originally thought, right down to the way you liked to do your makeup. Still, he felt that as long as he could keep you alive, and keep you safe, he could overlook some of those things. You were similar enough that he felt happy again.

He still missed you sometimes though; the real you that he’d lost, and he still mourned for that version of you. But when he looked at you now, a few months into dating this you, in your little brown barista apron with a big grin on your face, kissing him on the cheeks like he was the most precious thing in the world to you, he felt warm. It was like putting a bandaid on the wound. It would never fully heal, but this made it better.

Everything was as perfect as it could be, until one morning felt unfortunately familiar. He woke up fast, realizing he’d been sleeping with his mouth wide open on your chest.

“Good morning, handsome,” you said, laughing and wiping a bit of spit from his stubbled cheek, “You were out. Having a good dream?”

He hadn’t forgotten a single detail about that day.

He looked up at you, brow furrowed in confusion and concern. In the last couple of months he’d learned a few things about this universe. Time still worked the same as it did in his universe, but the year was 2016. It was possible that time wasn’t even a relevant factor concerning your death, but he thought that perhaps if it was relevant, he might have a chance to save you before this day would be upon him.

He had also considered that perhaps his universe had an anomaly that the others didn’t, and that was why you’d died and perhaps you’d live in this one. Maybe it wasn’t canon for you to die every time, and he’d just been extremely unlucky to be born in the one dimension that he would lose you.

But if this universe did work exactly the same, he thought he would get to prepare for this. He thought he’d get more than a couple months with you before he lost you again. He gave you a soft smile and brought the back of your hand to his lips.

“What do you say you skip work today and we stay in bed, hm?” He asked, calm on the surface but screaming on the inside for you to agree.

“Well I have to go in, my rent isn’t going to pay itself.” You slid out of bed and headed for the bathroom, leaving Miguel lying there, staring at you with desperation as you walked away into the bathroom.

“I have a good job, mi vida, I can pay your rent, you don’t need to go to work,” he insisted, getting out of bed and standing in front of the bathroom doorway.

“Not a chance,” you said, undressing and closing the door in his face.

Maybe this morning would be different. If he recalled correctly, and he did recall correctly, this wasn’t how that morning had started originally. The fact that you weren’t married was already so different, it was just that…something felt so uncanny, so similar but so…not at the same time. He opened the door.

“Have to pee,” he grumbled, walking over to the toilet.

“Oh! I almost forgot to tell you,” you said, turning knobs on the shower, “I know we said we would do dinner tonight but a couple girls from work wanted to go out for drinks tonight so I think I’ll join them, that okay?” You stepped into the warm water and closed the curtain.

Miguel pulled his pants back up and froze.

“W-Who’s going?” He couldn’t stop his shaking hands from clenching into fists.

“Stacy and Mira.” You peeked your head out of the shower curtain, “I’m really sorry, I forgot all about–”

“No,” he said coldly.

Your heart caught in your chest at his words. All this time, Miguel had surprised you by proving to be the best guy you’d ever been with and suddenly, his firm tone sent a chill down your spine. He’d never spoken so bluntly to you before, and he’d certainly never looked at you with such a dark glare as he was in that moment.

“Baby, we can go out another night, it’s not often that Stacy can find a sitter and–”

“I said no,” he repeated harshly, “I won’t say it again.”

You turned off the shower and got out, grabbing your towel and covering yourself. He was so much taller than you, but you weren’t going to let someone talk to you like that, especially someone who was supposed to be your partner. You held up a scolding finger.

“Miguel, why the hell are you acting like this? You’re not my fucking dad, you’re my boyfriend. You don’t get to–”

He pulled you in, pressing his lips to yours. He didn’t know what else to do. You were angry, and you had every right to be. For all you knew, your normally loving and considerate boyfriend had taken a controlling and dark turn, and you were upset. He thought if he could just shut you up then you might forget about it and agree. Instead, you slapped him, forcing him to step back in shock, holding his cheek where the sting remained.

“Out,” you said firmly, “you’ve been acting like a weirdo ever since the day you met my parents. I looked past it because you still seemed like a nice guy, and those are hard to find, but you freak me out.”

Miguel’s heart fell into a million pieces all around him. He held his breath, trying to keep himself from losing his temper. His chest was heaving.

“Mi vida, I–”

“Stop calling me that! I’m not your life. I’m just some girl you’ve been dating for a few months and sometimes things don’t work out. This…” you gestured between the two of you, “isn’t working out.”

Miguel would never hurt you. He would never hurt you, but in that moment he fantasized about breaking your fucking neck. It was delicate enough, he could hold it tight and make it snap with only one hand. He might even enjoy watching you writhe when he grabbed you. How dare you think you could just leave him like that.

But he didn’t have to do a thing, because he knew that you would die that day, and he wasn’t going to stop you. Not this time. Fuck this version of you.

“Fine,” he said with a malicious smirk.

After he left, you cried, but only for a short while as you finished getting ready for work. He wasn’t the first weirdo you’d dated, and you were certain he wouldn’t be the last. You were glad that Emily had stayed at her own boyfriend’s house the night before so she wouldn’t hear you and Miguel arguing that morning. The last thing you wanted to do was go to your older sibling with your tail between your legs in defeat over another loser.

Miguel watched you leave your apartment and start walking to work. He thought he might have to wait until 10:53pm to see you die, but it would seem his theory that time was completely irrelevant when it came to your canonical death was correct.

The car seemed to come out of nowhere, flying down the street without a care for who might be in its path. Some idiot was behind the wheel, texting and driving, not paying attention while you crossed. The interesting thing was, that the other two girls died too, like they had in the original universe. After hitting you, the car swerved into the storefront of the coffee shop, killing the two employees who were standing near the front door; looks like those stupid friends of yours were meant to die in every universe too.

Miguel shook his head in frustration. Of course a part of him felt sad seeing you choking on your own blood in the middle of the street while people surrounded you, as if there was anything they could do. He didn’t feel sad for you though, he felt sorrow only for himself, having wasted so much time trying to find out if you were the one he could replace you with. It would seem you were a faulty substitute, flawed in so many ways that he’d chosen to overlook, and it was time to find a new one, a better one.

And he wouldn’t stop looking until he found a sufficient replacement, the perfect one.

Thank you for reading! You can support your favorite writers by the simple act of reblogging and liking! Thank you again!

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Miguel O'Hara Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[wandererrofthewinds]

007 FEST HEADCANONS!! PART 2!

Alec Trevelyan-

- Once went out on Christmas with Bond, Q and Moneypenny. Got so drunk he sang Last Christmas with a Russian accent.

- when i say he's got insane language talent, im not just talking about being fluent. I'm talking about the accent. He can literally replicate an accent perfectly. Better then anybody in the 00 Program.

- watches Analog Horrors and EAS Scenarios religiously.

James Bond-

- hallucinated Alec for a while after his death.

- once walked in on Moneypenny and a girl from finance filming a TikTok.

- Debates Doctor Who lore with Q very frequently. Alec thinks they've finally gone insane. Who the fuck is Metacrisis Doctor.

-him, Alec, Q and Moneypenny binge watch Peaky Blinders whenever they have the time for it.

Q-

- Analyzes Peaky Blinders and Doctor Who like a data recovered from a foreign country.

- Hates coffee. Like really hates it. Doesn't even know why. He hates it.

- Hates on any type of tea that's not Earl Grey. Thats his toxic trait.

Eve Moneypenny-

- has an 64 page word document analysis on Arthur Shelby.

- introduced Radiohead to Bond. He liked it but never admits it.

- Mitski and Chappell Roan girly.

- led a bunch of Q Branch Minions in writing their Office Fanfiction about Bond and Q.

[shera-dnd]

Well with the final Suletta sunday I guess it's a good time to do one last bit of thematic analysis and symbolism

There were no actual tomatoes this episode, so I think it's time we address the core theme those tomatoes played into

Choosing Love

Because in the end that's what saves everyone. It's why even our hated villains get to live.

Because when everything went to shit and they could have all chosen anger or despair, they all chose love

Prospera and Suletta, Ericht and Suletta, Lauda and Guel

They chose to love and live and be together as family

Because love here isn't just the romantic love Suletta and Miorine have for each other, but familial love, and the love between friends too

That love comes together as all the gundams join Callibarn at the end (plus Elan's love for Suletta) and release it all in one crowning moment

A gigantic blast of gay rainbows. A love so strong it overrides that super weapon and shuts it down

Lets not fucking forget the ghosts stored in the data storm. All of those who died to the gundam curse returning one last time, as their memories are allowed to live on

All those who our protagonists lost, but that are still with them. The memories of them helping them fight on

It's those memories that let Suletta surpass Permet Score 8

But like Sophie said, Gundams are weapons of war. They're meant only for killing.

And once again they choose love. They decide that if Gundams can only exist to harm, then Gundams shouldn't exist at all. The Mobile Suits, Quiet Zero, every weapon disintegrates, leaving behind the thing they truly wanted Gund Arm tech to be

Medical technology. Something that exists with the sole purpose of helping people.

Love may be stored in the gundam, but with them gone that love is allowed to be free again

Of course the mobile suits disintegrating is also meant to parallel the benerit group falling apart, because guess what Suletta isn't the only one going for that thematic consistency

HER WIFE IS DOING IT TOO

Miorine could spend years using her financial power to fight the other companies or made a big show of making donations to Earth, or "helped" in a myriad other ways that still kept her in power as the head of a mega corporation

But what did the bitch do? She dismantled the company and sent all the assets to earth, so they'd be able to rebuild and flourish without becoming dependent on her company's good will

Because guess what choosing love is choosing vulnerability. Choosing love doesn't mean shit if you're still holding power over others around you. They chose love and that means choosing to let go of that power

No money, no death robots, they don't need the power, they don't need control, they just need to help others in whatever way they can

Considering that clinging to control and power has been a very common recurring trait among our villains, this was genuinely the best way this could have gone

And so they all get to live, in a world they built together, a more peaceful world. Because they made their choice

WAIT HOLD ON THIS MIRRORS HOW THE HOLDER THING WAS TAKING AWAY CHOICE FROM MIORINE AND NOW-

Okay I'll stop. I could write a god damn thesis about this show, but I think this about covers things

Love me a show about being hopeful and full of love and joy in a world that expects only bitterness and spite

[iamfuckingsorry]

status update: 15 days until the final draft of my thesis is due to be submitted to my supervisor.

22 days until my committee is getting it.

How much of my thesis is written you ask? About 1/2 of the methods section, by far the easiest section to write. I haven't even finished analysing my results yet.

And I'm working 3 days this week so can't even really spend the weekend catching up :)))

[selfcestmovies]

Carol Danvers enjoyed the isolation of long journeys through distant space... at least, for a while. They allowed her to spend time alone and to get to know herself — as a woman, as a hero, as an icon — without the noise or clamor of busy life planet-side.

Did being alone give her a chip on her shoulder? Perhaps, but Carol wasn't one to admit it.

Carol had thought she'd seen it all, but her next mission would bend the laws of reality in ways that even she hadn't anticipated. A rescue mission near the Duplicus wormhole resulted in a risky flyby far too close to the vortex center. A bombardment of gravitational waves warped her cells down to a molecular level... all said and done, Carol survived. But she had been duplicated at a quantum level.

She flew back to her ship for an analysis, but the data proved what Carol — both of her — already expected to be true. There were now two Carol Danvers, identical down to the atom, and each with equal claim to her identity.

There was no discernible difference between the clone and the original.

One Captain Marvel was enough for this universe — having a second bullheaded, cocky, arrogant Captain floating through space was a recipe for disaster. The two Carols hated each other... at least at first, when they felt competitive over their shared identity.

But as the hours passed, Carol saw things to appreciate in her quantum clone. She liked her wit, and her determination. All the best qualities she had admired in herself, she admired in her double, too.

And it was nice finally having someone to talk to. Someone she could trust without limitation.

And there were more things Carol liked about herself, it soon became clear. She liked her own laugh, and her own smile. She liked seeing her own body from an outsider's perspective. She had a beautiful face, and a dynamite body that made Carol more sexually confused that she had felt her entire life.

Seriously, Carol couldn't take her eyes off the clone. They each caught the other steeling glances and blushing.

Had this other woman been anyone else, Carol might have considered this... a crush, in a way. It had been years since she had felt that type of spark.

But this was herself. The two of her acknowledged the chemistry, but chalked it up to simply self-confidence and a bit of harmless narcissism. Right?

"Can I be honest with you?" Carol asked.

The other laughed, "I certainly hope so."

She leaned in. "It's nice knowing — like, really knowing — that I'm hot stuff." They were already standing close at this point, but Carol reached a hand to grab the clone and pull her even closer. She ran a hand up her clone's ribs, underneath her tank top, tracing fingers along the bottom of her breast. "Fuck, I can't get over how good we look."

The other Carol just mirrored her actions, indulging in every touch as they smiled in unison.

They flirted for hours; countless near-kisses and gentle, glancing touches. Carol had never felt this relaxed around another human — if she could even call it that. It felt easy.

It was obvious to both of them what could happen next – and Carol (both of her) knew was no use keeping secrets from herself. They talked about what it might feel like to really kiss and touch each other. They joked about which Carol would take charge, and which Carol would be submissive, given that they'd both want to be the aggressor.

It was all hypothetical, of course. Until it wasn't. The tone grew tense when they both realized what would happen next.

The first kiss was slow, and deep. Neither held back. They let their lips part and their tongues connect — it was ecstatic for them to finally let their libido loose on another woman after all this time alone.

Carol finally had someone to connect with, at the deepest and most carnal level. Soon, she couldn't get enough.

[aguineapigcouldntdothis]

I'm tagging this as jumblr bc i trust the jews to help me with my jewish polls! im currently stuck on analyzing the data on these polls because i need to compare the two and they have wildly different sample sizes. I am not explaining what i was doing here until i have all my data analysis done bc i would like to know if the results are significant or not first.

anyway if anyone has a good method of comparing 2 surveys with different sample sizes and determining if results are statistically significant please let me know! i have a few ideas but i definitely need second opinions bc i have not done stats in a hot fucking minute. the main problems I have are 1) different sample sizes and 2) most methods i find are for experimental data, not nonexperimental.

in short i want to compare the data from each individual poll button (which all correlate with each other) while also factoring in the differing sample sizes. it would also be helpful if the method was good with percentages. i really really fucking hate stats however i refuse to just treat 2 different sample sizes the same bc that would probably kill me.

i also have limited tools at my disposal. i have a shitty old laptop and an even shittier older ti-84. they can do a lot bc i bully them into submission regularly but these things are not fancy whatsoever and they have limits and they express those limits frequently

[aubreyathame]

THE YTTD POPULARITY POLL RESULTS!

ALRIGHT i'll call the vote now.

DISCLAIMER !! I accidentally lost the first 30 votes or so. So tragically this does actually effect the poll a small bit (especially for last place winners)

221 responses! ii wouldve wanted one more because i hate odd numbers but im lazy and this is like a month old now so at least 50% of you forgot you did this probably.

Shin Tsukimi (Fake Sou Hiyori) - 224 Points, 91 votes (~13.7%)

Gin Ibushi - 156 Points, 71 Votes (~10.7%)

Keiji Shinogi - 110 Points, 48 Votes (~7.2%)

Joe Tazuna - 99 Points, 45 Votes (~6.7%)

Sara Chidouin - 84 Points, 58 Votes (~8.7%)

Kai Satou - 79 Points, 38 Votes (~5.7%)

Kanna Kizuchi - 71 Points, 38 Votes (~5.7%)

Nao Egokoro - 62 Points, 34 Votes (~5.1%)

Midori (Real Sou Hiyori) - 55 Points, 29 Votes (~4.3%)

Ranmaru Kageyama - 53 Points, 27 Votes (~4%)

Reko Yabusame - 51 Points, 29 Votes (~4.3%)

Alice Yabusame - 44 Points, 22 Votes (~3.3%)

Rio Ranger (Sei) - 42 Points, 25 Votes (~3.7%)

Tia Safalin (Michiru Namida) - 31 Points, 17 Votes (~2.5%)

Q-taro Burgerberg - 24 Points, 17 Votes (~2.5%)

Naomichi Kurumada - 19 Points, 13 Votes (~1.9%)

Kazumi Mishima - 18 Points, 8 Votes (~1.2%)

Mai Tsurugi - 17 Points, 11 Votes (~1.6%)

Maple - 13 Points, 7 Votes (~1%)

Anzu Kinashi - 12 Points, 8 Votes (~1.2%)

Sue Miley (Emiri Harai) - 7 Points, 5 Votes (~0.7%)

Shunsuke Hayasaka - 6 Points, 4 Votes (~0.6%)

Gashu - 5 Points, 3 Votes (~0.4%)

Mr. Policeman - 4 Points, 2 Votes (~0.3%)

Hinako Mishuku (Fake) and Megumi Sasahara - 3 Points - 2 Votes (~0.3%)

Meister, Ryoko Hirose, Kobushi, and Touko Rikuno - 1 Point, 1 Vote (~0.1%)

Kugie Kizuchi*, Mr. Chidouin, Ursheen, Stronghold, Ryuu, Gruusem and Jin Mutou - 0 Points, 0 Votes (0%) *Due to the loss of the first 30 or so submissions, I think Kugie got snubbed of being tied 25th place but with 1 vote. I'm almost certain I saw that during early result checking, and I am SO sorry to that one person...

ANALYSIS BELOW THE CUT

Unsurprisingly, Shin won by a LOT. What did shock me, however, was that Gin got second place. I had no clue there were that many gin fans?? Where are you people at...

Another thing that surprised me was that Midori was...really low actually. I was expecting him to be second, but no...he's 9th.

Due to the points system, a few things like Rio Ranger being below Alice is debatable, but...do you really want to put Ranger in between the Yabusame siblings again? It's also insane how Sara scored a fair few more votes than Joe, yet Joe still won.

If anyone's curious who won based on votes instead of points...I'm not writing that out again. Sorry!! This post just took fucking ages to write and it was entirely because of the list I don't want to do that again... ahaha..

ALSO. REKO AND ALICE AND RIO TOGETHER THAT CLOSE... YOU WERE SO NICE UNTIL YOU WERE EVIL.

In terms of placement, Shin won 1st place for 1st and 2nd, but Sara shockingly overtook him in 3rd.

Also the poll did have some...suspicious activity. Namely this complete duplicate answer HOWEVER it also has 4 Saras in a row here which is very funny.

This is also I think the only exact pair of duplicates but I don't wanna check the data again...

Also shoutout to the LEGEND that only answered their first favorite and put Mishima. You might've only gotten 17th, but you left a huge impact on this poll because you had the funniest answer.

anyways, enough rambling. this was neat!

[elvenbeard]

For the dark oc asks: 1, 13, and 15 if you have the time/want to :3c

1.Excluding murder, what is the worst thing your OC has ever done?

Objectively... working for Arasaka, probably? xD Which is pretty vague as an answer, but neither before nor after he contributed to things as fucked up as what Arasaka does. Now, he obviously didn't personally deliver illegal guns to war zones to stirr up conflicts so somewhere some rich people could benefit from the death and destruction and whatnot. He didn't come up with political schemes and ploys, he didn't have any personal grudges against anyone he worked against. He was a tiny cogwheel in a huge machinery with seemingly little impact and say, but I think that makes how bad this all was even worse. He turned a blind eye to what exactly he was supporting and doing, to the effects his actions had on other people, because as an otherwise very empathetic person he wouldn't have been able to continue working there. And in the grand scheme of things he really enjoyed his job, the data analysis, the scheming, the planning, the euphoria when something worked out exactly as it was supposed to, being a part of something bigger for the first time in his life. He definitely lost a bit of himself in the process, which led to him at some point betraying someone he deeply cared for - but in that moment he cared more for keeping the life he had built for himself.

13. Who does your OC hate the most?

Johnny Silverhand, no doubt xD Not all the time, not in the end, but he never hated someone as fiercely as him for a while, especially in the beginning and especially after his bender - and especially because they aren't that different from each other in their personalities, and Vince hated that more than anything.

Not even his abusive mother comes close in terms of people he hated at some point, and Vince was more scared of her than truly hating her, but she's a close second.

In general though Vince doesn't hate easily or strongly, he doesn't hold grudges for long or at all.

15. If you draw: draw your OC's darkest moment or reimagine your OC as a demon.

"You wouldn't shoot me, V, even if you wanted to. You and me, we both know that."

Vince's darkest moment for him personally happened some time in early 2076. He's had dark moments before and very dark moments afterwards, usually dominated by despair and a sense of hopelessness. I mentioned above that his time at Arasaka changed him, and not for the better. Everything that happened there, who he was or pretended to be at that time, brought him to this moment here. He had to go against his most important conviction that he'd never before or after gone against: betraying a loved one for personal gain. To be fair, it wasn't only about gaining something, as the situation was complex and awful all around, but keeping his superiors', Jenkins', Arasaka's trust, keeping his position and status, was a deciding factor. He still occasionally has nightmares about it all, as a trigger was pulled that day and only he got out of the situation alive.