#I FEEL LIKE IM PIECING IT TOGETHER. PUZZLE. I COULD ALSO BE WRONG IM TIRED. ITS NEAR 5AM MY TIME BUT-!!!

[sistersofsilver]

okay. heres my rough (rough) idea on how to make a shade a little more tangible.

ashes: to remember him. there's a spark of something there.

bones: to strengthen him. he"s clearly more tangible than other shades given he's at least semi corporeal

fate fabric: to twist possibility in favor. basically mandatory, there's little chance of this working otherwise. (it very clearly didn't entirely work, but that's not the point)

nightshade: tied to death, used for medea upgrades thus tied to her in some way and given her everything...

myrtle: tied to love. take that as you will, but i dont think you can try this without love.

blood: not a proper reagent, but clearly, this took a pound of flesh either way. blood = life as seen with zagreus last game. (<- oversimplification ik)

complications: some of these are later game drops, and so melinoë was NOT grabbing these. where did melinoë learn this. how did literally no one stop them.

tentative solutions: icarus is already dead, and we know of scouting shades by odysseus. hecate had a surplus of reagents lying around - she mentioned she had some early on in game but hasnt had the chance to refill them as of late. therefore, melinoë and icarus could have done some pilfering. eris could have been involved if only because hecate would not approve of this. we know eris made bombs, and her, mel, and icarus have some sort of connection. as for learning, there's something about taking bits and pieces of medea and circes teachings and trial and getting a rough idea. melinoë isn't stupid after all. circe for changing ones nature, medea for dealing with the dead. both are important imo. as for how & why no one stopped them... great question.

idk!!! idk i'm still cooking, but i feel like i'm onto something.

[ganondoodle]

still thinking about how even just the decision to basically act like the shiekah tech never existed is just ... so baffling to me

bc again you could have done all the sonau tech does with shiekah instead, and they were perfect to be explored more in a sequel, why wouldnt you grasp that potential, the literal building blocks for more??

if you are that tired of shiekah tech .. dont make it a fuckign sequel to the game prominently featuring it???? totk doesnt take place generations after botw in which things could have changed drastically, its just a few years afterwards??

you want to reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech? ok fine take LINK into the past then and the focus is for you to find a way to return; do some neat twist where its revealed that link was the one who sealed gan bc he couldnt defeat him without zelda or something if you dare (they wouldnt)

want less work than that and still reuse the map and get rid of shiekah tech AND reuse characters? ok then make it some alternate universe thingy like majoras mask in which everythign is the same but also isnt, its weird and creepy how characters you thoguht you knew suddendly dont act like themselves, shiekah tech doesnt exist, malice is now miasma, etc, it would give reason to why you feel so much like something about this world is familiar yet also very wrong

as far as im aware every "sequel" we have had so far were either generations apart from the first one, some alternate universe or a different location altogether- in all of which its plausible that things are different, things seem weirdly familiar but also wrong, or that another continent just works different from hyrule

but totk does none of that, its supposedly just a few years after the first game, same world same character, but its BUILT like some strange jumbled mess of stuff from botw and new stuff out of nowhere that just .. doesnt fit, but feeling a strange sense of otherness, a déja vu of something you know but it acts off, like an imposter, thats NOT intentional and it shows, its a mess of botw stuff, from stuff that people missed from the old games and entirely new stuff; i dont doubt it CAN work but the way it turned out is like a mix of 3 different puzzles forced together and being told 'see it fits!' even tho you can clearly see the pieces dont look right in these places

again it feels like a sequel that desperately wants you to forget the first game happened, that anythign from it mattered at all

and that isnt really ... the sense of a sequel? why insist on it being one when it only creates problems? is it marketing?? just like it was marketing to call age of calamity a telling of what happened before botw but then it wasnt that at all and that is still the sole reason why i dislike it? bc i was lied to? totk is like 10000 times worse than that, its a main title and doesnt even have the excuse of yeah its basically an excuse to play all your fav characters in fun ways and the game beign well aware that being its main appeal; what is totk appeal? a toybox with botw aestethic and none of the flavor?

(on a sidenote; the sonau tech doesnt even .. matter? in botw at least calamity ganon was made of shiekah tech parts and him overtaking other tech is a big point, the sonau tech doesnt serve anything but .. idk minerus useless mech? gan doesnt even aknowledge it, he doesnt care, all it is is toys for the player, not link, but the player. the monsters mining the tech materials? what for? gan doesnt give a damn and they dont work for the yiga either??)

i said it before but it gives me the feeling that the way botw invited you to theorize, to look beneath the surface, the way it intrigued you and laid the groundwork for so many interesting things without denying anything.. was accidental? or perhaps put in the game without the directors noticing? i cant stop thinking about them saying sth like "after botw zelda wondered if the kingdom of hyrule needed to keep existing the way it had been before the calamity, but then totk happens" bc it just feels like they realized too late that botw naturally led into questioning the status quo and they scrambled to fit it back into a flat and boring road we have seen so many times before (or even worse really) with totk

zeldas character naturally leads into her questioning and reexamine their history and set of rules? we gotta teach her a lesson of why she is importante god given monarchy girl that has to keep it bc what if evil brown man shows up again for no reason

maybe im grasping at straws here but looking at it this way the sonau .. make more "sense"; the shiekah were a group that was under the rule of the royal family, and misstreated before (oh no look soemthing interesting) so they dont lend themselves well to be used for teaching zelda that lesson- the sonau however are tailored really to be just that; they are a supposedly godly race from the literal sky that founded this version of hyrule, that had tech even more advanced and better than the shiekah, she gets put in the past to meet the perfect god king of goodness personally, also his very fridgy wifey that zelda later replaces in a way, shes put there and treated like family and then gets to see just how evil that evil big man from the desert is, sonia is falcon-punched to death solely so zelda can feel obligated to take over her role, have her new, better 'family' hurt by gan; similarly so raurus sacrifice, look what a noble and good king he is, he payed the ultimate price to lock that evil man away, now zelda you cannot let their sacrifice go to waste, rebuild that divinely good kingdom like it was!!

and even though they go so much out of their way to put the cart back onto the rails of black and white-good and evil in an even flatter way than the old games, it still doesnt feel right, at least to me, it still feels like zelda shouldnt have gone along with all of that, it feels like even her character from botw was walked back entirely, except for the intro, it made her feel like a stranger to me-

because this is a sequel, i know this zelda, she wouldnt act like that after all that shes been through, this feels ... off

and it all just insulting to anyone who cared about botw more than surface level, or the zelda lore in general, i dont even care much about the timeline, but theres alot of lore and themes beyond it that felt ignored, especially so given that .. its a damn sequel, non AU, not generations apart, directly part 2-

but its not.

it even feels very "corporate", put zelda in a dress again, people liked that, put crazy abilities in the game to flashbang people with how insane it is even if its not the best for the gameplay or the story, put a new asthetic into it out of nowhere bc its 'new' and act like its been there the whole time, put gan in there bc people miss him and find him sexy even if his role is just as flat as that of an evil cloud monster-

*sigh*

you know, i saw a post that said aoc was like a bad fanfic (affectionate) and totk was like a bad fanfic (derogatory) and tbh thats like one of the best comparisons/summaries i have seen ..

[angelthebedsheet]

If you’re ok with it, could you do Hawks, Todoroki, Shinsou, Bakugo and Kaminari with a black support engineer s/o with big curly hair and stretched ears? Maybe she wears gauges with their hero theme? Just some cute fluff!

a/n: oooooh bitch okayyyyy!! i like that! hawks my lil bird bitch ��🏽🥺

your quirk! super brain.

what is it? you have the ability to memorize things easily, piece complex puzzles together, make great strategies. you essentially are a megamind. you are incredibly smart invention-wise. you are skilled in support hero work so you are one of the go to’s for hero modifications, suits and basic designs.

hero name? hakim: the tinker hero

why the name hakim? from what i searched up it has arabic and african significance and it’s one of the 99 names based on the attributes of Allah. the two famous bearers of this name were hakim ajmal khan, the india physician and hakim muhammad saeed, a pakistani medical researcher. if i got any of this wrong please message me so i can fix this! i want to stay as respectful as possible as i love to include names that hold a message!

i might have to split this into two parts bc this gets long!! i just assumed reader is fem presenting bc you can use feminine pronouns and not be a girl like me. also disclaimer i only take 4 characters at a time per request but i dont think at the time of this request i had finalized my requirements in my masterlist so IMMA LET IT SLIDE. sorry this is late as SHIT. lets get it!

——————————————————————————

Hawks

okay we all know he’s a lil shit

and we all know how he be

you are working on your next commission piece in your studio when your window opens

you can only sigh

“what happened kei.”

“now birdie dont get mad now okay”

“what did you do.”

“i may have.... broke my visor and destroyed my jacket?”

how the fuck do you do that.

“what.”

“ahahah...”

boot to the face

when you two were first dating

which was back in hs

you helped him figure out how his hero costume would be along with how they would sit comfortably on his wings

i mean i love the idea of you roasting him while measuring him

“where’s your fuckin DRIP kei.”

“y/n PLEASE. i came here to get a new costume not get slandered”

“well you jus gon have to deal with it sugar, especially when you look like a mess.”

he had definitely bought you so many gauges that have little red feathers hanging from it

or simply his initials hanging from it to the point where you just wear one of his feathers around your neck

marking his territory and making sure you are safe

protective and trendy!

i hc that he has alot of bird like tendencies so you probably have to stop him from stealing the lil shiny things you have

your nuts and bolts allat

“keigo put my bolt down”

“but its so SHINY”

“NO.”

cue keigo’s WHINING

sometimes he just sits on his stool you put for him and play with your ears

like he’ll stare at them and ask you questions

“do they hurt?”

“kei im trying to focus”

“like they’re all stretched how long did they take?”

or he’ll bounce your curls

you’re just polishing a piece of hero gear

here comes kei silently sitting on his stool and gently grabbing a strand of your hair

pulling it down then you hear a quiet

“boing”

i hc that kei has adhd, has lil tic and has to fidget

(can you tell i self project onto majority of them)

(i mean hawks’ quirk must be IMMACULATE for fidgeting 😫👌🏽👌🏽)

(its dead his fault why i have a pretty bird tic)

and one day

“kei baby, here.” you said as you handed him a box. he cocked his head slightly as he looked at it. “what is this, dove?” he asked as he took the box. “well, i made you something to help with your fidgets.” you said as you rubbed the back of your neck. his wings puffed out as he smiled. he opened the box and gasped. you watched as his eyes brightened while he took out the keychain fidget toy. it has multiple sides to it. metal rings connected by two hoops, red, white and beige plastic bangs that were at the ends with two small red feathers at the chains. you watched as he bit his lips and tried not to cause a big reaction. “do you like it, pretty bird?” you asked. he nodded and pulled you into a hug. “thank you so much, baby.” he said into your shoulder. “and you can hook it onto your pants. cute, right?” you said as you gently rubbed his back. “yep, i’m cuddling the fuck outta you. lets go.” he said as he let you go and sweeped you up into his arms. you squealed with a giggle and wrapped your arms around his neck as he ran to the bedroom.

Todoroki Shouto

yall are in hs okay no time skips lmao

todoroki loves EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU

i mean he has so many sneaky pics of you working on your projects

oil on the cheek, gloves, goggles

straight up working in your zone

he will post on his story sometimes like

“look at my s/o”

“they’re working hard”

dry ass cute shit yk?

he carries scrunchies and glass cleaners 24/7

you take your projects on the go so he’ll just take out a scrunchie and neatly pull them curls back into a pineapple

my mans lowkey was struggling at first bc DAMN

CURLS BE FIGHTIN HIM

love the idea of todoroki watching youtube tutorials bc he’s TIRED of getting his ass BEAT by them

he kinda gets a lil grossed out when you take out your gauges and your earlobe kinda just dangles

like earrings in? cool asf

them out? my mans fold like a lawn chair. he looks away or makes a stink face

“are they in?”

“yes they’re in you lil baby. you can try attempted murder but you can’t look at stretched earlobes?”

“shut UP”

he does internally swoon when you put in gauges that match his hair colour

like you love him that much? okay i see

he’s amazed by how you work

sometimes he’ll just stand behind you like a lil sibling in the door way

“mom said it’s my turn on the xbox.”

(not at how me and todoroki are both the youngest siblings)

when you saw his first hero costume you busted out LAUGHING

that day you roasted todoroki to the point where he left

“janitor looking ass. my nigga where you goin? a space adventure? scary ass.”

“😐 are you done.”

“space jam headass, lookin like a g.i joe action figure. terminator lookin ass.”

“alright im leaving”

“no wait come back andjajdjsba”

i hc that todoroki has panic and anxiety attacks and things like that

so you made him a little sumn sumn for his anxiety

“candy, look here for a second?” you called out, making todoroki hum and look up from his notebook. “what happened?” he asked as he cocked his head slightly. “made you something.” you said as you handed him a small box. his eyes light up as he gently took the box. “really? are you sure?” he questioned. you only nodded with a smile as you placed your pencil behind your ear. you watched as he carefully opened the box. he pulled out a tan clicker toy and smiled confused. “what’s this, bub?” he questioned as he placed the box down. “a fidget toy i made for you that can help with your anxiety. it can help ground you when you feel overwhelmed? hopefully? oh! it also has a music box feature.” you said as you pointed at the back of the toy. he silently turned the toy around and you leaned over and pressed a button that played a music box version of a pearl by mitski. you watched as his shoulders loosened up at the sound of his favorite song. he placed the toy down while he tried to hold his smile back. he sighed and smiled widely. “thank you, i love it, bubba.” he said sweetly. “i’m glad you like it.” you whispered. “may i kiss you?” he asked. you simply nodded before he gently cupped your cheek and pressed a kiss to your lips. you pulled him into a hug.

[wordstrings]

of sleep-warm skin and love requited

Written and submitted by @delicategoblin:

OK IM OFFICIALLY TERRIFIED BUT IVE EDITED THE ABSOLUTE SHIT OUT OF THIS AND I CANT FIND ANYTHING ELSE TO CHANGE SO UHHHHH HERE WE GO. uhhhh you don’t need to anonymize it I’m g with having my actual blog on here i’m just ,,, f r e a k i n g o u t . thank you again for this opportunity though cause i never would have done this otherwise,,,,also it’s kinda cringe i know but i’m fragile ok i needed the Bois being soft

Publisher’s note: The first official fic of I Fixed/Fic’d It: A Supernatural Fluffsgiving Event! I absolutely love this and it’s exactly what my heart needed.

Words: 1,700

—

of sleep-warm skin and love requited

Soft puffs of warm air blew onto his chest, it blew the fine hairs that grew there against their follicles. It was an annoying, tickling sensation that made it feel like there was a bug crawling on him. He didn’t move, though, or adjust the sleeping hunter in his arms. It served as a grounding sensation, a reminder that the warm body lying next to him was just that; warm, breathing, alive.

“I c’n feel you look’n at me weird.” Dean’s sleepy voice cut through the gentle silence that hung around them. One sleepy green eye cracked open and he shifted, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s bare torso tighter and burying his nose into his sternum.

“I was admiring you,” Castiel protested indignantly and smiled at the muffled embarrassed noise Dean made against him.

“Less admiring, more sleeping.” He grumbled, and pressed a placating kiss to Cas’s throat. Castiel let out a contented hum and let his fingers glide up Dean’s muscled back, feather-light, and up to the nape of his neck.

“Quit it.” Dean shuddered and fell back onto the mattress with a bleary-eyed glare. Castiel shifted onto his side and smoothed his thumb over the crease in Dean’s forehead that resulted from his affronted expression. Dean didn’t comply with his silent request, and it was Cas’s turn to frown. He leaned down and pressed a tiny chaste kiss to the wrinkle, Dean just shied away and huffed.

“Dean,” Castiel squinted at the stubborn man beside him, who stuck his tongue out and made a point to draw his eyebrows even further - the crease became more prominent. Cas could almost laugh, but this was a challenge. A challenge he didn’t intend to back down from.

“Cas,” He mocked, pulling a face.

Oh, so that’s how it was.

Gears in Castiel’s head were turning, but before they could even quite slot into place, he was on top of Dean, pinning him to the mattress with his weight. Dean’s eyes widened, no longer half-shut with the remnants of sleep, and he sucked in a breath. Pupils blown wide, and Castiel grinned. Dean had a very wrong idea of what was about to happen.

“Dean, you’re very stubborn.”

Dean smirked and waggled his eyebrows, before quickly returning to his previous expression, complete with his arms crossed across his chest.

“Yeah? What are you gonna do about it?”

Castiel hummed as if he were deep in thought, tracing his index finger from Dean’s collarbone to his sternum. Dean cringed and pushed himself back into the mattress.

“Me? Well, I’m going to knock you down a peg or two, in a manner of speaking.” Castiel purred, resting all ten of his fingertips on his ribs, a salacious grin on his face.

“You, on the other hand,” He continued, gliding his hands down to rest at Dean’s sides. “You’re going to smile for me.”

Dean barely had time to swallow nervously before his senses were set alight by tingling, buzzing electricity. He bit his lip and squirmed, grappling with Castiel’s flitting hands.

“C-Cas, c-c’moHAH. Nonono, c’mohon man, this shit’s for kIDS.” His voice raised an octave when the ex-angel who was enjoying this way too much dug his infuriatingly skilled fingers into his tummy.

It took less than three minutes for Dean to be lost to laughter, punctured by the occasional ‘No!’ or ‘Cas!’ and things that were definitely not shrieks when his attacker got to a bad spot.

Cas, the bastard, was watching him with a big stupid smile on his face. It was so wide and genuine Dean couldn’t even find it in himself to be mad when he caught glimpses of his face amidst his thrashing.

“Cas! Cas, it’s like 4 am, stoho- nahaha CAHAHAS NOT THERE, YOUSONUVABIHIHITCH.” Dean cackled and threw his head back with laughter as Castiel’s hands shot into his armpits, he convulsed and clamped his arms down as hard as he could. Nothing could deter Cas’s determined digits.

When Dean’s breathing started sounding labored, Castiel retreated his hands and took to scritching at Dean’s lower belly. Tickling there, just above his waist-band, was the closest thing to giggling he thought Dean Winchester was capable of. His other hand, bored and itching to roam the squirming body beneath him, cupped Dean’s other side and stroked the skin there. There was another layer of squirming away added to Dean’s half-hearted struggle.

“Caaaas, quihihit playing with my chubby spots.” He whined through bubbling laughter. It was innocent enough, but Castiel knew this man well enough to tell the difference between a joke and genuine insecurity.

Castiel pursed his lips and abandoned his tickling, leaning forward to kiss the panting, red-faced mess. Dean was enthusiastic, cupping the back of Castiel’s head, meeting his kiss sloppily with an open mouth and obscene smacking sounds.

When Castiel pulled away, Dean’s hand kept him there; their faces just inches apart, noses brushing.

“You’re the single most beautiful creature in all of creation, Dean Winchester. Inside and out.” Castiel said firmly, cupping Dean’s jaw reverently and looking into his lover’s wide eyes. A faint blush dusted Dean’s cheeks and he dropped his gaze, shrugging, and grumbling. Cas used his hand to nudge Dean’s face back up and pressed kiss after kiss to Dean’s face. His forehead, each eyelid, his nose, his top, and bottom lip, and his chin.

“I’ve seen stars born,” Castiel murmured against his jaw, pressing another kiss to the stubbled skin.

“Galaxies formed,” Another kiss, this time to his neck, then his collarbone, then his sternum.

“Supernovas,” His chest, right over his heart.

“I witnessed the creation of the very first life forms,” His ribs.

“I’m older than time, older than this world, than the universe.” His diaphragm, his stomach, his hip.

“It’s you, Dean. Nothing I’ve ever seen, ever experienced, could ever hold a candle to you. I just wish you could see yourself the way I do.”

Dean sat completely still, watching Cas with twinkling eyes, he swallowed thickly and made to sit up, Cas climbed off him and Dean leaned forward, resting his head on Castiel’s shoulder.

“You mean that?” He whispered, taking Castiel’s hand and fiddling with his fingers. Castiel smiled and pressed a kiss to the crown of Dean’s head, nodding.

“Yes, Dean. I mean it.”

Castiel could hear the quiver in his breath when Dean inhaled deeply.

“That’s pretty gay, man.” He said shakily, pulling away from Castiel with a wobbly smile on his face.

“That it is. I’d venture to say what I’m about to say is gayer, though; I think your smile is especially beautiful. And your laugh.” Castiel added with a sly smile. Dean was quicker on the uptake, though, and before Cas could follow through on his plan, he found himself pinned to the mattress. Staring down a disgruntled Dean, who wasted no time in reaching behind him and kneading Castiel’s thighs.

He howled with laughter and grabbed blindly at Dean’s arms.

“DEAN! DEAN, STOHOHOP!” He bucked underneath the grinning man.

“You started it! And you were about to ambush me again.” He feigned offense, his words spoken around a laugh. His hands converged on Cas’s ribs and dug into the giggle-shriek-inducing spots between each bone.

Expertly, Dean took Castiel apart. Fingers seasoned with years of big-brother experience. His goal was to just tire Cas out to the point he wouldn’t be able to re-retaliate. Ten fingers scribbled across his belly and Cas was lost to giggles that Dean would never tire of hearing.

“Deheheannn, nahaha I’m sohOHORY!” He barely managed around an honest to god squeal that left his mouth when one of Dean’s curious fingers wiggled into his bellybutton.

“See, I just don’t think that’s true.” Dean tutted.

He could have continued on forever, sweet laughter and adorable attempts at an escape or a plea. But, now that Cas was human and oxygen was kind of a necessity, he made the mature decision (what can he say, falling in love changed him) to stop. He pulled away with a parting raspberry to the side of Cas’s neck, which made him shriek and jackknife under him.

“I didn’t bring you back from super hell just so you could tickle the shit out of me, you know,” Dean said, poking his hip. Cas flinched and rubbed a hand over his face, residual giggles still tumbling out of his mouth. He sighed and parted his fingers, peering up at Dean.

“Why did you bring me back, then?” He challenged. Dean glared down at him, but his gaze held no heat. Maybe some exasperation.

“You know why.”

Castiel pulled his hands away from his face and shrugged innocently.

“I don’t, actually.”

“I told you,” Dean huffed. Don’t ask why he was allowing himself to be swept up into Cas’s little game - maybe he liked it. Or maybe he felt guilty still.

“You told me lots of things - through wailing sobs, so it was hard to understand at times. Here; I’ll even make it easy for you. I love you…”

“I know,” Dean replied in a mocking, honeyed tone as he flopped back onto the mattress, pointedly shutting his eyes. Castiel let out a long-suffering sigh and lay back next to him, body curved around Dean’s; a perfect fit, like pieces of a puzzle slotting together. It was a shame Dean was being too much of a man-baby for Castiel to properly enjoy their compatibility and closeness at the moment.

“You’re impossible,” Cas murmured into the skin of Dean’s shoulder, reaching over to pinch at Dean’s waist. He curled away with a squeak that made Cas’s heart swell and grabbed his hands.

“No more tickling,” He pouted. The other man smiled fondly and pressed a kiss to Dean’s temple.

“No more tickling.” He agreed, nodding solemnly.

Then it was quiet again, peaceful. The soft sounds of Dean’s breaths were in sync with his own - the feeling of his heart beating was still alien to him, even though it wasn’t something he noted often.

“Hey, Cas?” Dean said quietly, fingering a mindless pattern on Castiel’s bicep, “I do. Love you, I mean.”

Castiel smiled and pressed his thumb gently into the give of Dean’s thigh, reveling in the softness, the warmth.

“I know.”

[loyally-unfaithful]

—; but “sentimental boy” is my nom de plume

word count: 1916

pairing: connor/gn!reader

genre: slight fluff; hurt no comfort

summary: it has been a year after the android revolution. humans and android alike settled down, an olive branch was offered as a sign of reconciliation. with newfound peace came along newfound love, and many open roads to choose from. this was no different for the rk800—connor. surprisingly or unsurprisingly, he decided to continue working at the dpd, this time as a bonafide detective. but he has also accepted the thrilling uncertainty of life that deviancy has brought; the same strings that brought his lover in his life.the same ones he hated and cursed, the same fates who ripped it all away.

a/n: everytime i convince myself i came out of my dbh hyperfixation i just look at connor and i become lovesick again.

gosh i know i should be finishing my other fic or work on the prologue script for my vn, but,,,,,,, i just had a sudden hankering for connor angst,,,,

written during a sleep deprivation induced moment of epiphany,,,,, (purple prose cuz im extra af uwu)

I’ve never written angst before so i’d love to hear your thoughts on it

maybe if you asked him one year ago whether he’d consider returning someone’s feelings, romantic feelings, he’d reply to you with a placid smile and a polite « i’m sorry, i wasn’t programmed to reciprocate romantic interest. ». he remembered that he’d sneer at them internally. now thinking about it, long before he questioned his obedience towards her, he already showed signs of deviancy.

you did what you were designed to do.

memories from his past would still torment him erratically, doubts would resurface on particularly dark days. but you were the light that cut through that haze. this wasn’t a “fake deviancy”. it couldn’t have been. not when he is holding your body so close to his, warmth radiating off of each other, two heartbeats—similar, but different—thrumming together. all the softly whispered and adoringly announced « i love you »’s; all the quick and coveted pecks and all the feverish and passionate kisses. no, he was alive, he was sure of it—alive and absolutely enamoured by you. all semblance of doubt ebbed away when you entered his life.

whenever he’s around you, he feels more alive: you make him feel everything, all the little precious things. tenderness and adoration when he shares tranquil mornings with you. he feels more alive when he’s with you, all the little habits and routines too endearing: the sweet post-it notes scattered over your shared flat; scribbled upon it are encouraging words or sweet nothings. conflicting work schedules meant that moments spent together were scarce, but that made them even more valuable and coveted. captivation, was another emotion that he felt around you. your mannerism, your dreams and interests, your physical attributes and quality of voice. logically speaking, you were just another human, insignificant in the grand scheme of things. you’d live and then one day, you’d die. as if you never really existed. but he wasn’t being logical. how could he be? when you were right there in front of him? you made him irrational, and he found that new aspect in life thrilling. confusing at first, but exciting. he was eternally grateful that you let him experience all these beautiful emotions with you. he was grateful that you allowed him in your short journey that you called life.

he was happy, absolutely content, with his shared life with you. you were both in perfect places in your respective lives: you both had a stable job, loving family backing you up, and a fulfilling love life. what seemed to be a mismatched couple at first turned to be 2 pieces of the same puzzle finally finding their place. life for the both of you couldn’t be better.

but along with the many exquisite moment that your romantic endeavours brought you, the android didn’t only taste the sweet delicacies of life; no matter how idyllic a moment may be, there were times when he had to taste the astringent and sour desserts life offered.

anger. that was an emotion that he felt. but that’s not accurate, no… it was frustration and shock and betrayal, all the unsavoury feelings in the world. perhaps it was due to his inexperience, maybe his lack of exposure to these negative sentiments, that caused him to snap the way he did. to hurt you the way he did. but it happened and there was no turning back the clock.

no matter how much he begged and cried for it.

he was proud that you got the job offer in canada, he really was. and he, like any other caring boyfriend would, offered to accompany you there, an offer which you gladly accepted. that was the plan. but plans were difficult to follow. crime waits for no man, working for the law meant that connor must always be available for duty. no excuses, he was an android. but connor wasn’t just a simple android detective, no, he had a much more important role: he was the link, the messenger, between jericho and the police force. he was the crucial communication between the two forces. so when jericho contacted him about threats of anti-android attacks, he had to make an appearance at their base. the meeting coincided with the day you were meant to travel to canada. it was a simple trip really. it only took a few hours by train, stay in canada for 2 days (it was the weekend), and then return back to detroit, probably arriving in the late afternoons to their home.

but you were looking forwards to traveling with your wonderful partner after « [we] spent so much time apart ��. the day he told you the urgent change of plans, connor was tired, overwhelmed. you were frustrated and expectant. a fight was bound to have erupted. accusatory statements, along the lines of: « you don’t actually care about me! it’s all about work and work and work! » and « i can’t believe how selfish you’re being right now! » in between shouting and yelling and frustration and anger and contempt–

you both went to bed exhausted but spiteful, still not forgiving each other. in hindsight, he felt so utterly pathetic, so unbelievably childish, for being that cruel, and uncaring. he didn’t want to be like him again. so many glares and insults were thrown at each other, tears threatened to spill, LED flashed and shone a true red, doors were slammed. he felt awful, plain and simple. you both lied in the same bed, under the same cover. so close yet so excruciatingly far apart. back facing the other’s, no one said a word.

you woke up before him. bitter and unhappy. no morning kisses, no whispered « i love you » to wake your other half. you wordlessly got yourself ready, grabbed your bag and quietly snuck out. no post it notes were left. no sweet promises or encouraging words. you could do this work trip without him. you were independent. you didn’t need a tin can to chaperone you everywhere. so you left. plain and simple. gone. since you woke up and left earlier than planned, you boarded an earlier train. how lovely and convenient. the carriages were mostly filled with androids. perhaps they were trying to immigrate to canada like the others. who knows. you paid no mind and absentmindedly scrolled through your phone, obsessively checking your messages to see if connor realised. to see if he apologised. because frankly, at that point you were tired of being mad and just wanted to spend the day in his arms. but prideful and petty as you were, you weren’t willing to apologise and admit your mistakes first.

connor roused from stasis a few moments afterward, less bitter and more regretful. he wished to right his wrongs but the normally warm presence beside him was not there. his system was slowly booting back up when his audio sensor picked up an incessant ringing from the living room. he jolted up and rushed out to pick up the ringing phone call and waited for the other side to speak up.

the room was so utterly quiet, a silence so suffocating engulfed the room, that you could hear a pin drop. the voice on the other side asked whether this was indeed your house and that he was indeed connor anderson. he swallowed dryly and answered with a soft, « yes ». running a quick check in his database, he matches the caller’s voice with a certain nathaniel edwards. first responder. he allowed his HUD to display the news. if androids could get pale, have all their blood drain from their faces, his would have certainly done so. he stood, rigid and motionless, consumed by shock and horror.

the news and the first responder’s words blended into one as he gripped the phone tighter: « this morning, at 7:48 am the train from detroit to toronto was caught in a devastating turn of events: the train soon caught in fire and exploded as it made its way over the border. it has been confirmed that there has been 0 survivors. it is unclear whether this was an unfortunate accident or the result of anti-android terrorism. »

the other person’s voice poured through the speaker but he wasn’t listening. he stared blankly in front of him. no way, he thought, it couldn’t have been… the only sign that the android was registering the other man’s input was the now constant red LED.

« sir? sir. i’m sorry to bring this— – no, this isn’t right… you must have the wrong number, he interrupted. there were probably others with your name… maybe they were mistaken... – sir that’s not possible, w— – you must have gotten the wrong house… not… it-it couldn’t have been…» but he knew how improbable it was that they got the wrong number. he was built to be logical, to believe statistics. the statistics told him you were dead. long gone. he hoped and prayed that you stayed back, didn’t get on the earlier train. the statistics told him you did.

he choked out a response, quiet and defeated. you were gone. he’d never get to see you again. « i… i’m sorry… i-i don’t understand… – we tried our best to find them sir, but… the fire was too severe… if we gain any new developm— – you didn’t save them. »

still in a daze, he must have hung up on the poor man and unceremoniously dropped the phone. its clatter the only sound in this deafening silence. the reality of it all comes crashing through and he collapsed, ugly sobs escaping him as the denial faded away to make way for the pure and unfiltered grief. he felt lost. for the first time in a long while since amanda he felt so utterly and completely lost. no more shining beacon during his dark and stormy nights. no more valued affection and coveted kisses. no more notes and no more smile to come home to.

he laughed bitterly, devoid of any humour. it was funny, just how cruel the fates were: made human life so fleeting. lachesisonly gave them such a short eternity. and when he thought you both found your missing halves, bound to another by an invisible string, atropos cuts it. a small snippet that is so easily ripped away from you. he belonged with you, he felt at peace with you. he was able to be what he struggled to be for the majority of his miserable and artificial existence. with you, he was able to be happy.

but now he’ll have to get used to not coming home to a warm embrace. he’ll have to get used to going into stasis alone, in the cold bed. he’ll have to get used to his aching heart being greeted by an empty house. every cold and lonely  nights. it’s ridiculous how human he felt because of you. and he was both thankful and spiteful for it.

sadness and bitter regret ripped through him when he remembered that he didn’t  share goodbyes before he left. he remembered how he couldn’t have apologised to you and tenderly held you. he regretted not being able to tell you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him for the last time. ra9 only knows the things he’d do and the things he’d sacrifice, just to have you in his arms again.

instead he was faced with the bitter reminder that the last thing he’s ever said to you, your last memory of him, was a contemptuous and scornful « i wished i never met you ».

like my work? consider buying me a coffee // checking out my masterlist | links can be found on my desc

[oh-theatre]

Just A Remnant Now

A/n: lmao this is so bad im so sorry,,, lmaooo ITS SO BAD

TW: Death, spirit, spit, farting, destroy, pain, graphic descriptions, ANGST, no happy ending

“Im sorry Remus I cant talk to you right now, its been months and I cant figure out where this spirit energy is coming from” Logan huffs. “Tomorrow is my presentation and if i have nothing to show for it my entire funding, this project crumbles” He rambles. Remus follows him, his feet carry a sweet lightness as he listens.

“What will they do with the spirit or ghost?” Remus questions, sitting on one of the cold benches focusing hard as he fiddles with something in his hand. A cold breeze as Logan snatches the tool away from him. “Hmph” Remus pouts

“My guess? Ill get a whole team of scientists! A whole new lab with facilities and so much more! And ill tear it apart and study every aspect” Logan beams, the glint in his eye sickened Remus.

“So you'll kill it?” Remus scoffs “Seems kinda brutal”

“No ill just...take it apart to...examine its..origins and what it can do and...its a ghost what does it matter Remus?” Logan inquires, typing viciously away at his keyboard. 

“They still have feelings, their sensories are there!” Remus argues, feeling his face flush. “The way you plan to tear them apart is inhumane! Its against their will Logan, they are still forms of living. 

“They are, in every sense of the word, not Remus. They are dead, figments of what used to be. They cant feel pain, or emotion, they are a remnant” Logan explains

“They are more than that! Lo you're not listening!” Remus stands now, Logan could be intimidating but Remus towered over the scientist. 

“Im not listening because you don't know what youre talking about”  Logans cold glare would pierce anyone but not Remus. “You're just my engineer.” He spits

Though i wish we could be more, both think in unison through their frustration.

 “They have the memories of their old life, they have feelings, they have feelings of the world they must traverse through now as a spirit. They develop feelings, emotions, memories and more. They travel through to the middle ground between living and dead. If they accept it, they move on but some choose to stay!” Remus finishes, his breath cold as it spits on Logan. “Some don't have a choice! Some are tethered! But they aren't just ghosts Logan. They live in the now, through whatever means. Tearing them apart with my molecular design would kill them, and every ounce of pain felt would hurt just as much as it would to you.” Remus finishes, his body shakes, he tries his best to keep solid to the ground. 

“You've developed emotions for these things” Logan rolls his eyes. His judgment was not missed. “And if im not mistake, its your device Remus” Logan reminds

“You're right...it is” He turns to where the device sits immaculate, his design perfect. Such as the mad genius he was. He took his work in his hands, feeling every ounce of metal and wiring that was in it. Then, in the flash of an eye, the machine crashed. It fell to the ground with the force of anger, Logans shock and frozen state was unmissable as the pieces clattered around the ground. 

“What have you done” He whispers viciously. Remus stands triumphant feeling the pain inside. 

“What I should have done as soon as I made it” Remus sighs.

“Why do you care so deeply for these things! You have no idea what they are or what they do!” Logan yells, his voice echoes through the lab.

“For how smart you are.. youre so fucking dumb Logan!” Remus argues back. “For months the same spiritual energy has been popping up on your monitor! You couldn't put two and two together?” He smirks. “You really think after your failed convention last year they would send you an engineer?” 

“What are you saying” Logan breathes

“You're so dumb Logan!” Remus swipes an angered hand across the table, tools crash to the ground. 

“Stop calling me that” Remus’s accusations had cut deep.

“You call me that at least once every hour!”  The continue arguing, it hurts each of them more than can be described. Each new insult is a breach to the relationship they had built up over the past year.  Finally Remus couldn't keep it in anymore. “Im the spirit Logan!” 

the silence that fell through the lab was piercing. 

“I didn't want to move on because fuck closure, so i found you. I liked what you were doing...or at least what i thought you were doing. But once i had built the machine i could have left...but I liked you Logan. Plus you hadn't found a spirit! I thought hey maybe this will be the final piece of the puzzle...” Logans speechless breaths were terrifying. Remus cant help but reach out, he focuses allowing his hands to solidify. He takes Logans hands. “Watch” He instructs, after a quick thought Logans hands fall through Remus’s hold. 

“no no” He tries desperately to grasp to Remus, he wants to feel his hands. “No no lies lies all of it” He spirals, Remus just watches knowing this was inevitable. Remus feels a tug at his heart, he works quickly and the machine is one again. Logan remains at his desk, murmuring nonsense. 

“Lo?” Remus for all his chaos, had the softest voice. “Take me...to the demonstration tomorrow” he offers. Logan looks up finally, his eyes red from thoughts. “I was just another chess piece for your game, just use me...i don't think i wanna stay around much longer anyway” He sighs.

“No Remus. We have to stop this project.”

“what?” Remus barely breathes. 

“I was wrong...I was wrong and so misguided.” Logan admits, he has no idea if his next move would work but he takes Remus hands feeling a warmth as they stay solid in his hold. “You were never a piece...but I was wrong. Because they can feel, you feel...and I feel you” He moves a hand to Remus cheek. Logan had never seen this energetic bumble of ‘not safe for work’ jokes and buzzing laughter so...tired. And it was his fault. “You feel pain and joy and sadness and-”

“Love” Remus adds, Logan holds back his desperation. 

“I was truly an idiot, I was so focused on not looking like a failure I forgot my true goal. To discover and explore...not destroy” Logan sighs “I wanted to learn, but i let that go and became this”

“You dont wanna...destroy?” Remus cant quite wrap his head around it. 

“No god. I wanted to understand! But i let the success and money get to me. And i lost sight of who I was. You arent a danger...you are a miracle” He smiles ever so slightly. “SOmething I love so much is not worth destroying” He states

“Love?” Remus feels himself relax. 

“So..so much” Logan says

“Hah you're in love with a ghost” Remus teases, Logan sighs with a giggle and a playful eye roll. 

“I still have the machine remus” Logan threatens with a grin. Remus steps back and gasps his collar. 

“How dare thee!” He cries ever so mockingly. “I thought you cared”

“Woe is you” He laughs quickly pulling Remus into a kiss. 

Yeah its weird, but so intriguing. He expected a cold chill but received warmth in Remus’s embrace. 

They canceled the demonstration and gracefully stepped away. Years passed and Logan desperately tried to find a solution, he wanted Remus to stay, to be here in all his physical form. But on a quiet fall night, Remus was sprawled across the couch trying to dunk cheese balls into his mouth. Logan sat at his work bench concocting as he did. Logan had had his doubts over the years, Remus was a ghost. But Remus explained that the longer he was on earth he felt tethered a developed a physical form. He wasn't a human but he wasn't a ghost, almost a third party but he was real. 

But he was fading. 

And Logan worked tirelessly to find out what he could do. He had consulted with Virgil and Patton, two scientists who had done great strides for the world of science. He constantly worked alongside Janus but to no avail. Remus was fading, he would have to go soon. Remus didn't mind, all he tried to do was comfort his partner but Logan, for as smart as he was, was in deep denial. 

But this fall night, as a cheesy treat fell into Remus’s mouth his image flickered. This caught Logans eye from his work. 

“Remus?” He rushed over watching Remus sit up straight. The flickers were slow before they became full glitches and constantly. “No i need more time. Surely.” He could feel his tears coming. 

“Promise me youll find someone? Whos maybe not a farting ghost” Remus shrugs, Logan shakes his head, this wasnt the time for jokes. “Logan you knew this was coming. Also lets be honest, it was weird im a ghost”

“You're not though! You're a tethered!” He cries

“Guess my tether snapped” Remus sighs. He wanted to spend these last few moments in sweet bliss but instead, in true Logann fashion, he was arguing. “Come cuddle me you obnoxious man” He pouts

He knows its a joke but the sadness in Remus’s eyes finally catches up to the scientist. He obliges sitting with Remus. They do cuddle, and Remus finally lets go. His tears are soft and he doesnt think much but he doesnt know whats going to happen next. 

“You should get a dog” He sniffles, Logan laughs dryly stroking the messiest hair he had ever known. “Also Janus totally likes you” Remus wasnt oblivious to the way Janus looked at Logan. But he didn't mind, Logan was his...but he wanted his partner to be happy once he was gone. 

“Perhaps, but let me just...let me mourn alright?” Logan asks

“Fine, but promise me you wont mourn forever, please?” He holds up his pinky, Logan rolls his eyes but promises either way. Remus leans up a tad to kiss Logans cheek. “Lets just sit here ok?” He requests, Logan grants it. “I love you Logie” He knows that only he is allowed to call him such a name. They sit in silence, feeling the heartbeats and warmth. Every intimate move felt so careful. 

“I love you so much” He says after a moment of silence, he awaits a response but looks down to see Remus was no longer there. A small gasp as he takes to his chest. This is what it felt like, so much pain. They never conducted the experiments but as he clutched his heart and sobbed loudly he imagined this was close enough. 

[mongoosejpeg]

Random concepts my brain comes up with (or just random things I think of)

I tried to avoid angst (and u!sides) but....I came up with a lot of angst (i think?)....ajdhdh sorryyyyyy

Also....dont question anything pls....im very sleep deprived and dont know anything and dont take anything to seriously

Also....theres very bad english in here so...yeah....

Warning: uh....might be u!sides.....idk ajshxh...itll be in the tags tho

Logan will quote a different school house rock song, everyday, to Virgil

Patton takes Romans sash and puts it around his forehead/waist cuz hes a pirate

Virgil steals Janus' cape and will be an airplane and everytime he passes a side he will say nyooommm

Roman will take Virgils makeup (who has a lot of different colors) and do the other sides makeup

Remus will take Logans glasses and wear them wrong on purpose cuz he knows it annoys Logan

Logan and Deceit don't do anything or take anything cuz theyre the parents™

Its legit canon that they have their own phones......Virgil has a lavender phone case, Logan has a gold case, Roman has a golden phone case, Patton has a red phone case (i think)

Everyday Virgil will give Patton a stone with a tiny piece of paper telling the meaning at the same time...everyday. virgil does this cuz 1. he has too many 2. it gives him smth to do and gets him to be a tiny bit productive

Janus has a bunch of plants a l o t o f p l a n t s like....almost an excessive amount

Dukexiety/tangled au.....repunzal as Virgil and flynn as remus (idk)

Logan t poses almost all the time

The way to tell Patton and Janus apart is that janus knows how babies are made (messenger falcons) and Patton does not

Virgil likes pasta with no sauce (pathta wif nu thathe) (if ya get the reference....good job)

Virgil has yet to have a debate with Patton, Janus and Remus

Every time there is a new disney movie roman will just be...*flappy hands* for like.....a good half hour before actually watching it

The mind vs. the heart is just an old married couple™ fight

"Oh ofc. i never wanted you to feel like you couldnt" like.....the way patton says it....sounds like a mix of Deceits voice and Pattons voice

Anytime the other sides/Thomas has a problem, Logan will dress up as Sherlock...and patton (no matter where he is) will pop up as Watson and the little arguement will happen everytime

Rhythm Redux has hints of Mandy goes to med school

Virgil is pretty short....not by much but still one of the shortest side. When his anxiety heightens, he grows taller for x hours. Then when he calms down, he goes back to his normal height

Remus would practice forbidden fruit all the time, so that when he and Thomas finally met, he wouldnt mess up (cuz ew...who wants tk mess up on their own song?). Sometimes he would scream it, especially when Virgil was around

In moving on pt.1 virgil said "no" and then his hand flew up to cover his mouth...which was deceit

Janus with a flower crown around his hat

Janus has a snek in his hat and its never ending...like a mandelbrot fractal

Logan info dumps about space and Janus is the only one who actually, truly listens

Are there healthy distractions has more analogical....

Logan will carry around a notebook and pen/pencil at all times....especially for Virgil...like...when he gets a panic or anxiety attack...logan will give him the notebook so he doesnt have to talk

Janus has several different bowler hats and the other sides (besides logan and maybe patton?) will steal all of them and hide them

Logan and Roman will watch movies together, purely to rewrite it....virgils there to have a disney debate with Roman

When Thomas gets really anxious, virgil will kick down a door and go through a window, feet first

they are their own villians

whats virgils, janus' and remus' biggest fears? Logan

All of the sides have/need glasses but Logan and Patton are the only ones who actually...wear them...obviously

For virgils birthday, Logan got Virgil a puzzle book (or Christmas)

Virgil met his new years resolution (like...he got it done)

*has to watch beauty and the beast for this one* technically....beauty and the beast isnt Stockholm Syndrom......belle traded herself so her father could be free....the beast never took maurice....he wondered into the castle by himself and got...captured....sooo technically...idk where im going with this ajsjxh

Virgil has a crap ton of funko pops

Everytime Patton goes into Virgils room, he'll come out scared of the curtains

When Roman said "you are nothing compared to the others" and his hand went over his mouth....was that deceit? like....him not wanting Thomas to even know about him or remus yet..or orange side?

"Im not evil" foreshadowing for remus

Patton can yell "i will physically fight you" as loud as logan can yell "falsehood"

Virgil is a Ravenclaw (i think we all knew this tho ajsjdh)

When Logan actually shows sadness (the like....one time he did) the other sides will give him validation (telling him hes right, he cool etc.) and just...give him love (they will also do this with the other sides too)

Logan will pop up and ask Thomas about the picture with circles that is hanging above Thomas's (?) couch.

Logan has yet to actually solve a problem by himself...... hes either used information they already knew, or needed/used the others help (sorry)

Virgils the only one Logans said "sorry" to....he usually says "apologies"

The dark sides have pan(heh) pancake and pillow fights (the darks sides....remus and Virgil and janus just stands there until something gets thrown at him....then he joins)

Every year for their birthday, Roman and Logan will always get a jar (or more) of crofters

Every time Logan has crofters (like...pb&j or toast or smth idkkkkk) he'll keep making puns for an hour straight (gay)

Virgil watched dhmis and got weirded out for like....a week

When Janus is around, Patton and Roman will make a bunch of snake puns and janus will stand there like :|

Logan is allergic to anything "sweet" like....butterfingers

Did....did you guys know...that the cast of sander sides....is...Thomas sanders....i just learned that....thats...crazy wow....when were you guys gonna tell me? (fun fact.....every fricken time thomas yawned in dwit....i yawned)

Virgil researches architecture or like.....studies it?

Remus and/or Janus is/are (?) a ghost....ok remus...

Remus is actually really smart and gets along with Logan pretty well

Virgil was the least...like...responsive(?) after forbidden fruit

Virgils eyes are more red in dwit (could just be Thomas and that he was tired or smth)

Whenever Remus walks past Patton, he'll take off his ears but then put them back on when he goes out of Pattons sight (english who?)

In the bloopers (not really but shhhhh) or smth when Remus knocked Logans teeth out, logan said "figuwawivwy"

Whenever Virgil "sounds the alarm" he (and maybe patton and remus) will go "weoo" for a few minutes as loud as he can

Logan has a baymax plush

Janus is obsessed with Hocus Pocus (despite Logan pointing out all the inconsistencies)

In clbg when patton said yes to thomas when he asked if there are anymore sides that were hidden away from him, he glanced at virgil (and logan) and virgil got super uncomfortable

Janus will always say the "you better watch out" vine

Everytime Logan has an idea, he'll say lightbulb out loud...like...just..."lightbulb" and the other sides just stare at him like.."wha-???" until he explains

[impossible-rat-babies]

savior for the micro stories?

thanks tay! im showing up five years late to the party on this ask, but it’s like that lately!

1467 words | chargestep | angst | im waiting on my visit the cemetery scene malin

--

Should’ve just stayed home, told Ortega “no im not getting out of bed it’s raining outside” or just refused the incessant buzzing of his phone beside his pillow. Thrown it halfway across the room and left it in the pile of laundry accumulating around his dresser where it could buzz in the privacy of unwashed underwear.

But no, he had answered the phone and gotten himself sweet talked into an ambiguous meeting, which lead to a car ride on “just on an errand or two”. By the time he realized where they were going, it was too late to back out and he couldn’t argue his way out of it. He could have, but a shouting match in a car sounded like far too much work. He could’ve also taken a tumble out of the moving car—wouldn’t be the first time—but he would spare Ortega the heart attack.

He’s been here before on both clear and rainy days, years and years ago when the funerals were far too often, the caskets they put in the ground empty. He wore his mask and suit–everyone all dressed up in symbolic show, a united front. The fight wasn’t over just yet and they were going to beat this, they were going to win.

The Rangers always get their man.

He didn’t have tears for any of people lost over the years, just a numb stone in his gut, an itch in his hands and a mind trying to piece together a puzzle with half the pieces missing. The devil finds work for idle hands and watching caskets lowering into the cold dark work make for eager fingers.

He toasted a cigarette and half a beer to the dead in his silent apartment at three am that same night and that was enough. Enough to make idle hands work once more.

Deja vu has the same numb dull weight in his stomach as they pick through the gravestones, muddy ground squelching underfoot. Doesn’t matter which way the dead lay, he doesn’t weave through the graves and he’s already got a streak of bad luck a mile wide so what’s a little more?

Ortega walks on proper paths, the worn lines in the grass and Pollux stays out of arms reach. Ortega might get ideas, ones he doesn’t want to think about because just being here makes him feel far too fragile, feet itching to leave.

But still he keeps following, making his own path from gravestone to gravestone until there’s just the one and Ortega pauses, his feet fit three feet from the small headstone in front of him.

It’s a grave with a name etched into it just like all the others out there–the dozens and dozens of graves both hero and not. Victims by someone’s count the lot of them, but not the only empty casket. But the others aren’t coming back. Not really.

He didn’t come back either. Not really. Not the way he should have, not whole, Not the same person everyone remembers. He can’t remember how to be that person anymore.

“Pollux?”

Eyes slipping from the grave up to look at Ortega and there’s a silent question in his eyes, one stuck behind the radio static of a head turned to the wrong frequency. Ortega steps far too close and Pollux takes a half step back to the distance he needs–the distance he needs to keep lying to himself.

“Yeah?”

A glance again and deep breath in and there it is. He tucks shoulders in tight, shoving his hands into his pocket, lips set in a grimace, eyes narrowing at etched stone.

‘Sidestep, beloved by the people of Los Diablos.’

Pollux stands silent, rocking from foot to foot to the stirring anxiety in his gut, in his feet. There’s the silence of expectations hanging in the cool misty rain and all it does is make his clothes cling to his skin, a uncomfortable reminder at the best of times.

“I dunno know why you wanted to come here of all places.” Pollux’s grumbling breaks the silence and Ortega spares him a glance.

“Thought it’d be…”

“Nice to visit my own grave?” Pollux gives him a look and there’s a twitch of the eyebrow, lips curling into a grimace and that hit a nerve.

“People like this thing called closure, Pollux.” He chides and Pollux scoffs, pulling his cigarettes out of his pocket, rhythmically tapping the box against his hand in practiced motions.

“For me or for you?” He turns an eye to him, the flick of a match and the puff of smoke following.

“I’m not a dead man walking.” Ortega shoots back and Pollux takes a deep breath of smoke in, letting it out.

“Says you.” Pollux shoots back and Ortega clicks his tongue and shakes his head.

“Do you really have to do this? Here?”

“Do what here?”

“The attitude going on. It’s a cemetery, Pollux.”

“What? You’re suddenly keen on having expectations for me now?”

“Pollux.”

He’s looking at him like That and Pollux turns his head sharply, jaw clenching and unclenching, licking his teeth behind his lips with words he could spit.

“I don’t know what you want out of this, Ortega!” Pollux huffs, waving his hand. “I’m here, looking at my own gravestone and and it doesn’t mean anything. None of this means anything!” He gestures all around them, breathing harsh out of his nose.

“It does mean a lot!” Ortega fires back and there’s a sinking feeling in Pollux’s gut like he shouldn’t be getting in a fight, they shouldn’t be getting in a fight, but they are and fuck he wants this.

He grits his teeth and spits his words. “What? To the people who died? How much do they care, Ortega? They don’t because they’re dead!” 

“I thought you died, Pollux!”

“I should have died!” Pollux finally fires back, hands clenched and his lost cigarette smolders, foot crushing it into the wet grass as he steps closer. This is what’s been bubbling in the back of his throat, choking him for far too long and he’s spitting out the words like broken teeth.

“I shouldn’t be here! Here in this fucking graveyard, or here in this goddamn city with you, or anywhere!”

This is what Ortega does and he fucking hates it. He hates because he wants to tell him, rip off the bandaid and bleed out all that’s been building between them since the diner, let all the hate run until he’s dry.

‘I hate you and all that you mean to me and I should be six feet under but no I’m sitting up here fucking talking to you about how I fucking died.’

He should’ve let him put that bullet in his mouth and then it would’ve been for sure. His head is the only thing that’s worth anything on his body. His stomach rolls and it takes far too much effort not to lose his lunch all over his grave, blood rushing in his ears, heart racing so fast his chest is aching.

“You really think that?” Ortega asks and Pollux licks his lips, nodding sharply.

“Yeah, I think that.” He sighs and his shoulders hunch back to their usual tired posture, tension running rivers out of him. Fighting always leaves him with a migraine, frustration like a screaming kettle pounding in his brain.

“I’m not a project to fix, Ricardo. Can’t fix what’s always broken.” He wipes some of the rain off his cheek. “You’re not my fucking savior. I didn’t ask for this.” He adds just to twist the knife and there’s not an ounce of regret when Ortega looks at him like some poor kicked puppy.

“You know,” Ortega speaks up and Pollux doesn’t look, shoulders still hunched, scowl firm on his lips. “You didn’t ask for me to help, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to offer.”

Pollux can’t help but bark out a laugh and he shakes his head, lips curling into a grimace.

“You never know when to quit.”

“You know I never learned how.” 

He says it like it’s going to fix what’s been said, like Pollux will just let it all go and he’ll get to hug him and blah, blah, blah, things go back to the new normal they still have under construction.

But that’s not how this works, not at all. There’s a flood still stuck behind his teeth and eyes, hundreds of things he needs to say and thousands more he doesn’t want to admit. A whole ocean covered by glass and they’ve only dipped their toes in.

“Well, maybe you should start learning. I’m fucking going home, Ortega.” Pollux huffs and he turns on his heel in the wet grass and he quickly walks away, cigarette left behind in the grass.

—

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

I listened to the OUAT soundtrack at work again-- you know what that means:

Another SC/OUAT crossover bunny.

Lena is trying to get back to the city when her car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. There hasn't been another car in hours, and her cell doesn't have service, so she starts walking back along the way she came, towards the town she passed on the way up. Before long it starts to rain, and when she sees a pair of headlights coming towards her, she's so relieved she forgets to be wary of strangers.

Especially when this stranger is pretty and blonde with the kind of smile that makes Lena's insides feel kind of toasty, in spite of the chill.

Though her savior is heading away from town, Lena accepts a ride to wherever she's heading, and she sits miserable and wet and sniffly in the front seat of the rusty pick up.

Not exactly the kind of steed she expected for her knight in shining armor.

At first things are normal. They get to chatting, superficial stuff at first, but then the conversation turns deeper, so naturally that Lena barely notices. They learn that they're both heading for Metropolis, Lena for home and business, Kara as the destination of a cross country road trip. They learn that they're both orphans, and more strangely that neither of them have any parents of record.

But the moment they start riding together, things start to feel a little... off. Kara's on a road trip up to Metropolis, and isn't too familiar with this area, but there's something about the road bends and mist clouds in front of the highbeams that just isn't right.

"I don't suppose you know if we've taken a wrong turn?" she asks her soaked passenger, who mutely shook her head. They haven't taken any turns since they started.

Despite their disquiet, they press on. The eerie mist melts away under the graying blue of a New England sunrise, and they each heave a sigh of relief when they see the broad welcome sign of a town.

Storybrooke, it's called.

Huh. Lena doesn't remember seeing it on the map. Still, the town is quaint when they reach it, if slightly more Derry than Pleasantville. With empty streets and a giant clock that doesn't work, it barely seems inhabited, but there's a man walking a single Dalmation, and a line of cars is parked in front of a diner further down main street. Granny's, if the neon sign on top of it is any indication.

Kara pulls in as well. "I dunno about you, but I need a strong cup of coffee after that drive. Care to join?"

Tempted, Lena nibbles her lip, but ultimately shakes her head. "I'm going to try finding an auto shop. The rental is going to need a tow."

"Okay, sure. How about I order you a cup in fifteen minutes? That way it'll be warm when you're finished."

Lena smiles. "That'd  be great. Thanks."

"My pleasure."

The grin that accompanies the pleasantry warms Lena better than any coffee as they go their separate ways. Lena finds the auto shop just a few blocks down, but its door is locked and the windows dark, with no phone number or hours in sight.

Well, if anyone is going to know how to get hold of the car guy, it'd probably be someone in the local greasy spoon.

So, she makes her way back up towards the diner, but let's her feet carry her past it and on towards the library and the massive, unmoving clock.

Within the library there's no one to interrupt her casual browse through the stacks, nor prevent her from straying towards the elevator in back. At the press of a button the doors rattle open, and Lena enters with a mind towards heading up-- the clock calls to her, like every other broken thing in need of fixing.

She expects a lock of some kind to stand between her and her goal, but none appear. She steps onto a platform and climbs the short curving stair to where the exposed guts of the clock sit still and lifeless.

Lena intends to only look, and see if maybe she could spot the problem. But before she knows it she's peeled off her still wet coat and is elbow deep in oily grease, taking cogs off and on with the help of a toolbox left on the landing.

She's just putting the last piece back in place when a voice from behind her causes her to jump.

"Who are you?"

Whirling, Lena fumbles to catch the broad cog she nearly drops. She finds a sharp-featured woman with short dark hair standing on the stairs, glaring at her.

"And what are you doing up here."

"I noticed your clock wasn't working, so I--"

"Thought you would fix a priceless historical town artifact?"

Lena grits her teeth, grimacing. "Let me guess," she drawls. "You're about to tell me the clock hasn't worked since the exact moment of the great flood and the frozen hands stand as a monument to those who died."

Marching up the last two steps, the woman surprises Lena by allowing a smile. "No. This thing hasn't worked in..." The woman frowns for a moment, thinking. "Living memory."

She seems surprised by that fact. But then she tilts her head, and pegs Lena with a hard stare. "I was going to say that you took more initiative than any of the 1,200 residents in Storybrooke." She smirks. "So, did you?"

"I have no idea," Lena answers honestly. "Im good with my hands, but to be honest I've never seen a clock quite like this. It's fascinating."

She shrugs, and slots the last cog onto its peg. They watch it for a moment, and Lena fiddles for a moment more, but nothing happens. Oh well.

Lena plucks a dusty rag from the toolbox and wipes her hands.

"I'm Lena." The hand she offers is still visibly grimy, but the woman shakes it anyway.

"Mayor Mills."

Her hand is warm and strong in Lena's, and Lena can feel the press of every finger-- the kind of handshake she's found among painters, pianists, flutists. It's the grip of someone good with their hands, and an artist besides.

"What brings you to Storybrooke?" the Mayor asks. "Despite how it looks, we're not exactly a tourist town."

"Car broke down," Lena supplies. "Caught a ride in with another driver who was kind enough to pick up a miserable woman in the rain."

"And where's she?"

Lena studies the woman. "I never said they were a woman."

"Rain or not, you don't seem the type to get in a car with a strange man."

"She's waiting for me down at Granny's," Lena concedes with a smile. She glances at her watch. Oops. Her coffee is definitely cold. "I should probably get back to her, actually-- back to meet her, I mean. Before she thinks I hitched out without her."

The mayor watches her with a scrutinous gaze as she reclaims her coat. Lena gazes back, folding her coat over one arm. "You asked what I was doing up here... is it common practice for the mayor to come up to a broken clocktower?"

A shrug answers her. "I don't know about other mayors, but I do. I spend quite a bit of time up here, actually."

"Why?"

That same confusion from before reappears, crinkling the woman's brow, as though it were the first time she'd ever had to think about it. "I'm not sure..." comes the soft reply. "The quiet, perhaps."

Oddly, Lena feels like she understands. As a child, she'd spent countless parties seeking shreds of solitude in shadowed corners, a habit that persisted through boarding school and then college. Even now, she'd been drawn to the quietest spot in a silent town.

The mayor seems as unsettled as Lena, who lets it go with an awkward smile. "Well, sorry again for just letting myself in, Mayor Mills. Thanks for not arresting me for trespassing."

"That would be the Sheriff's job, not mine," Mayor Mills quips as she leads the way back to the elevator. "And lucky for you, Storybrooke happens to be short a sheriff."

Lena grins. "My lucky day."

The mayor walks her all the way back to Granny's, and their conversation continues easily. For all her cool affect, Mayor Mills is magnetic, quick and astute in a way that Lena thinks would do well in a board room.

By the time they reach the diner, Lena finds herself itching to know more. Not the way she wants to know Kara better, who she wants to drink in from head to toe and savor every taste. No, Lena wants to know Mayor Mills in the same way she wanted to fix the clock-- like her story is a puzzle Lena needs to tease apart, untangling knotted threads to reveal a tapestry.

Before she can even try to bid the mayor farewell, Kara comes bounding out of the diner to meet her. Her smile seems unperturbed by the fact Lena has stood her up for a good half hour.

"I've been talking to Granny-- she owns the diner-- and she says she also has a bed and breakfast down the road. She has a room available we could take!"

Lena stares, and Kara flushes. "I mean, she has a room available, if-- if you... I didn't mean to-- actually, why don't you take it? I can camp out in my truck, no problem. Or, I mean, I could leave, if you don't need that ride--"

"For the love of god, stop talking," Mayor Mills cuts in sharply. "Any more digging and you'll find yourself halfway to China."

The words are biting, and while Lena thinks she detects a hint of amusement, Kara colors even deeper, and swallows thickly as her bright eyes dim and avert themselves to her shoes.

"Got tired of bullying citizens already, mayor?" drawls a leggy brunette with red streak in her hair. Her skirt is as short as Lena's were, once upon a time, and the blotchy rips and tears in her fishnets scream fuck you as loud as her tone. "Had to move on to the tourists?"

"Dismissing petty grievances isn't bullying, Ruby," the Mayor returns glibly. "That's just good government."

"Won't be so petty when it's your yard that spotted mutt is shitting in."

"I didn't mean to assume we would be sharing,"  Kara murmured, leaning in to speak low enough only Lena could hear. "I'm pretty sure it's a single anyway, so really, I don't mind spending the night in the truck."

Lena regarded her for a long moment, absorbing the picture of her with her scuffed boots worrying the gravel underfoot and her hands fisted in the pocket of her hoodie. Now that the sun has fully risen, Lena finds Kara all the more alluring, with the sun glinting against strands of hair that were impossibly near the same color.

Feeling crusty by comparison in her slowly drying clothes and scraggly damp hair, Lena’s a little surprised that Kara wants to spend a single second more with her.

"You're going to stay?" she asks.

"Oh, well... it didn't look like you found any help with the car, and I'm not in any rush, so I figured I'd stick around until you had a ride worked out. Unless-- if you'd rather I left..."

"No," Lena says quickly. "No, I wouldn't."

Just like that, Kara's features return to life with a giant smile to put the sun to shame. Wow.

Lena clears her throat. "And for the room, I guess I wouldn't mind, if...."

"Don't be ridiculous."

Mayor Mills turns back to their conversation as though she'd never left. Over her shoulder, Ruby saunters up the steps into the diner, throwing a blind middle finger over her shoulder. Lena struggles to keep a smile off her face.

"There's no need for anyone to share," the Mayor continues. "You're welcome to my guest room, while your..."

"Kara," Kara supplies.

"While Kara takes the room at the B&B."

Now it's Lena's turn to flush. "I couldn't impose--"

"If it were an imposition I would have offered." Somehow, it feels like a scold.

Shooting a glance towards Kara, Lena receives an unhelpful shrug in return. "All right. I'd be happy to pay for the night--"

"Provide me some decent conversation over dinner," Mayor Mills allows, "and we'll call it even. You'd be surprised how little stimulation one finds in a small town."

Lena accepts with a nod. "It would be my pleasure, then. Is Kara invited?"

The mayor's features freeze, confirming that the invitation had been meant for Lena only. But before a hollow inclusion could be offered, Kara pipes up.

"Oh, I actually have plans for tonight," she says. "I was talking to some of the locals while I was waiting, and Mary Margaret-- one of the teachers at the local K-12-- invited us over. I already accepted for me, so I guess I'll just tell her you have somewhere else to be."

"Mary Margaret," the Mayor observes, her tone edging on snide. She pinches a tight smile in Kara's direction. "Yes, I daresay you'll both be in good company."

It doesn't sound like a compliment. Before either of them can respond, the mayor continues.

"I'll show you to the house, and let you use the en suite to wash up. I might even be able to scrounge up some dry clothes for you."

Lena allows herself to be led away. "That... would be amazing. Thank you."

Shooting one last glance over her shoulder, Lena offers Kara a sorry smile, and earns a little wave good-bye in return. Looking comfy and warm, Lena's new friend looks at home in this small quiet town.

Lena thinks maybe she could be at home here too.

But first, a shower.

[vocachaos]

CanonxCanon Ship HCs

On our discord server we have a roleplay bot and have been doing vocaloid ship Rps for a while now. I wanted to turn these into HCs sooooo 👀

A/N: in this version the vocaloids (plus a few utauloids) all live together in a mansion, because of their fame.

Kaito x Meiko: KaiMei

Mom and dad of The Gang

Kaito will be on his “Man-period” and Meiko will be forced to buy him icecream

Share the master bedroom

Everyone thinks they’re married but they’re not (super surprising)

Kaito will say stupid things like “you’re more tasty than icecream” or some shit 💀

Meiko will just laugh at him

Strict mom in front of the entire group

But when alone with just 1-3 or Kaito she’s so soft 🥺

They listen to their kids problems

Kaito even shares his icecream if they’re mega sad

Therapists ✨

Very cute together ❤️ they totally would get married but only after the kids are totally okay with it (which they’ve always been)

They used to have steamy moments until Meiko started being a mother ✨

Surprisingly her drinking doesn’t really bother anyone

She doesn’t get drunk much because of her built-up alcohol tolerance

Rin x Miku x VFlower: Rinkower

Power girls 🤩

When they’re asleep they all just impulsively huddle together

Rin and Miku are mega wholesome and then Flowers just the only one down to earth most of the time 🥺

Miku promised to give Flower 10,000 flowers as a sign of eternal love🌹

And she promised to give Rin 1,000 paper cranes so she could wish for them to be together forever ❤️

s u p e r. c u t e.

Miku often freaks out about her periods and the only people who can make her feel better are Rin, Flower and Mommy Meiko

Rin lives for Flower’s piggyback rides

Cuddles all the time 👌🏻

Love each other sm

They’re all each other’s firsts at everything, even though it was just Miku and Rin before they fell in love with Flower

Nobody is ever neglected or excluded ❤️

a few naughty moments

Mostly because Miku doesn’t understand Fukase and the others when they say “getting laid” or “69” and other inappropriate jokes.

IA x Teto x Yukari

Similarly to Miku and Rin, IA and Teto started dating before they fell in love with Yukari

IA was hungover (pls don’t underage drink!! And drink responsibly!!) and texted Teto and was like “hey r u up”

“Yeah what’s up?”

“Idk about you but im tryna see your Teto territory 👀”

Teto took the time to scream into her pillow and IA was just like 💔 I blew it

But she didn’t

And boy was she surprised when she talked to Teto the next morning

They started dating ❤️

Yukari comes in, being the cutie she is and steals their hearts immediately

The couple think they’ll have to break up but when both of them meet up and scream “I like Yukari-San!” They’re both 👁 o 👁

Then they both confess together

BAM POLY

Delicious trio

Not as big on PDA as Rinkower can be but

Teto is clingy 🥖 ❤️

IA is chill

And Yukari is mega sweet

They all just fit like puzzle pieces 🧩 ❤️

Teto just wishes she could be a vocaloid :(

A few 🥵 moments?? But like after they’ve been dating for a LOOONG time.

IA may not look like she cares

But she rlly wants to make sure they’re ready

Gakupo x Luka: Gakuka

Luka really doesn’t like Gakupo much at first

But she is slowly drawn to him

d̶u̶e̶ t̶o̶ h̶i̶s̶ e̶p̶i̶c̶ s̶w̶o̶r̶d̶ s̶k̶i̶l̶l̶s̶

Probably like the Aunt/Uncle of the mansion

Not quite as trusted as KaiMei but they’re the New Jersey aunt and uncle duo

“Yeah sure, you should enjoy your childhood.”

Gets in trouble with KaiMei almost as much as Yukie

Luka drinks strong drinks but not often

Usually sticks with Gakupo’s tea

They’re not super affectionate but she gives random waist hugs to him

He will also carry her around on his back when she’s tired

Not many secksee moments but they’re ok with that

Mikuo x Gumi: Gumikuo

Mikuo is always holding hands with her

Gumi leans on his shoulder when they sit down 10/10

They get the most privacy out of the mansion

Fukase usually forgets about them and that’s the only reason

The entire mansion is going to Olive Garden?

They’re at the steakhouse.

Definitely a bunch of steamy moments with them 🥵

Delicious couple ❤️

Idk how to make theirs longer sorry

They haven’t really been developed in Rp still brainstorming some

Neru x Len: Leneru

Neru has liked len for a long time and finally asks for his Snapchat, saying:

“Hey len give me your snap or bald”

“Ok bet”

And BAM

She joked around saying send nudes and dumb shit

Ofc he asked “what are nudes”

She told him to google it 🙄

Then she said “oops wrong person” even tho it was a total lie

Repeated this several times

Then after a few days

Yes, only a few days,

She texts him and is like “len r u up Ik it’s like 3am but”

“Yeah what’s up”

“I don’t like my last name”

“???”

“I think you should change it to yours”

SMOOTH +100 FOR NERU

“Ok we’re planning the wedding tomorrow”

SHE SCREAMS

her heart said UWU

N e ways

Decent amount of secksee moments

It is len we’re talking about after all

“Gigantic OTN me”

“Otw now”

I love them

Now my favorite,

Fukase x Piko: Pikase

The OG

This entire shipping plot came from this pair ✨ 🧚‍♂️

Fukase was fucking around and was like “len give me head or you’re gæ”

“Says the gæ one”

Fukases like “wdym”

“Piko likes you”

And piko was shuffling uncomfortably 👉👈 but still tried to defend himself

Did not work

A few minutes later Fukase’s dragging him into his bedroom

Everyone’s just like 👀

Some,,,,,,, things ,,,,,,, can be heard from outside

They bought soundproof padding after a few times of this

And fukase has a higher sex drive than len #exposed

Piko has a love hate relationship with the stamina of this guy

Literally can never walk after one “session” and has to be carried for the week.

“You broke my ass Fukase”

“I can kiss it better 😘”

“Please do not,,, 😞”

—————————

Wowowowow! Finished!

I love them all sm 🥺

But pikase is superior

Make sure to support us!!

Thanks for reading 💖💘💝💕💗💓💞

-Aly

[aliferous-ly]

The Setting Sun

yall. Yall. i wrote a fic im so proud of myself. This is Possibly a series, if y’all want it !! otherwise standalone /peace sign/ also, if you like a certain pairing then mention it bcos idk which pairing yet, if any, so :3c

Summary: “He... Logan wasn’t angry, at the events. He just came to a realization, like dust, sitting heavy in his lungs. If he coughed his entire life would go black and gray, and he wouldn’t be able to stop.”

AKA Logan realizes he’s not the best person to be Thomas’s Logic. So he makes a new one. 

Words: 3196

Genre: angst, some fluff. Logangst, of course

Warnings: implied character death for a moment (I promise, he does not die). deprecation, not showing all the sides in the most flattering light (like humans), disappearance.. if there’s anything else, please let me know!

writing tag: @sassy-in-glasses​, @rose-gold-roman​, @justanotherpurplebutterfly​, @echomist13​

Logan came to the realization like Roman might describe love: slowly, and then all at once.

He was increasingly perceptive of the other sides’ actions, though he wasn’t sure if this was a side effect of being Logic or if it were more... paying astute attention to their every move.

But he started noticing the little things, like when Virgil mentioned how certain long silences made him nervous and attentive to every single move.

And the word games of sarcasm that sometimes, used to, fly over his head.

But he’d gotten better.

And he’d gotten so much worse for it.

He noticed Roman’s roll of the eyes when Logan turned away, or sometimes in full view, turning to look at Thomas, get a load of this guy. He noticed the disdainful flick of his fingers, the push of his shoulders, the sneer on his lips that might disappear in moments time.

Of course he saw Patton’s strained smile, his frown at Logan’s exposition, just hold back a bit next time, bud, we don’t want any wounded feelings around here! The concerned jolt of his gaze, flipping between Virgil and Roman and Logan, uncertainty, forced delight, the simmer of it’ll all be okay, let’s just take a step back and talk about it! even though Logan knew “it” would always be feelings and not the actual issue at hand.

And Virgil’s candid nature hid such secrecy that Logan couldn’t miss the darkened expression, the gentle lean away, how Virgil would talk about how Logan disrespected him, or used to, and in the next heartbeat force Logan to shift for his means. The listen, dude, you might want to lay off a bit. Of course, Logan could do that, of course.

He couldn’t miss, then, Thomas wincing, the muscles in his face contracting into something (something) and he’d make eye contact with Roman or Virgil and they’d have that look. He couldn’t miss Thomas’s awkward stance, the way he’d shift when Logan stepped up to speak, the defense alighting in everyone’s eyes the moment Logan opened his mouth.

He... Logan wasn’t angry, at the events. He just came to a realization, like dust, sitting heavy in his lungs. If he coughed his entire life would go black and gray, and he wouldn’t be able to stop.

He couldn’t cough. He couldn’t mess up.

Logan massaged the center of his chest, staring into a shard of broken glass glittering rainbow in the light of the mindscape. Every side had one; they’re own personal escape into Thomas’s core, the centerpiece of his existence.

Too long spent in there, and they would dissolve into Thomas. And I wouldn’t want to lose you, Patton told Virgil. Please don’t go back.

Logan wouldn’t leave without a second thought. He couldn’t do that to them; Logic was a particularly important piece to discussion, and Logan knew that he... that Logic would be needed, for the pieces to fit together. For the code to run properly.

Viscous despair surged through his veins, slogging and clogging his throat and heart, and Logan knew he was no longer needed. Not as Logan. As a facet of Thomas’s personality, he’d failed, and grown too far from the center.

Logan exhaled, closing his eyes and ignoring the trails down his cheeks. Touching the cold surface, he slowly drew his fingers away, trails of electric blue and steel grey extracting from the glass. Logan pulled the essence of Logic from Thomas’s core, the very thought that had been used to make him – only, different, because Logan... Logan could not be a repeat, he could not be another stumble in the process of Thomas’s life.

He gathered synopsis, collected and connecting every (important) aspect of Logic into one humanoid figure. They were comprised of long strings like nerves, dark blue and gleaming.

One more thing. Logan took a moment, or two, to think. He couldn’t mess this part up; done incorrectly, Logan would cause the very problem he was seeking to repair.

One breath, two, and Logan tapped his index finger against his heart, wincing as he drew out a long strand of glowing silver, waving ribbon-like through the air. The world dulled a little at the edges, his connection to Thomas waning and dissolving like morning dew. He suddenly couldn’t remember what year Thomas graduated, or how long he’d studied to be an engineer.

(He remembered twenty Disney facts that Virgil and Roman had tag teamed in teaching him, he remembered Patton’s favorite tea and how much sugar he liked in his coffee, he remembered–)

Logan wove the silver through the blue, interlocking the two until he’d created a fully new being, complete with all of Logan’s capabilities and (Logan slid his fingers away from the silver) his connection to Thomas.

“You’re going to fix everything I’ve destroyed,” Logan said softly. He leaned forward, suddenly tired, rubbing at his temples. “I’m sorry for pinning you with the responsibility. But with luck, you’ll be just the right Logic for them.”

Logan cradled the blue strands shaped like a jaw, and pressed a single kiss to their forehead. “You’ll succeed where I’ve failed,” he said, as life and autonomy filled the shape of a human Logan had created. Skin stitched over blue wiring, eyes glowing the silver of Logan’s connection as they blinked open.

“You are Logic,” Logan said, exhausted and fading fast. “You know your purpose. There are others like you, but they do not know you yet.”

The new Logic stared at him, unblinking. They opened their mouth and said, “What are you?”

Logan smiled, brown eyes crinkling at the edges. “I’m nothing.”

“But you are here,” they said. “You cannot be nothing. Nothing does not exist.”

“Truly, I am,” Logan said. He reached out a hand, the skin and veins and bones disappearing, fading like a mirage. “You see? I am vanishing.”

They blinked once, then. “You are Logic.”

“No,” Logan said. He shook his head. “I was.”

His body finally got the cue, and Logan faded just like Roman had once explained love:

Slowly, and then all at once.

I was.

I am no longer.

—

Roman heard a whisper through the mindscape and looked up from his book, narrowing his eyes.

“Roman?” Patton asked, doing a jigsaw puzzle with Virgil. “What’s up?”

“I heard something,” Roman said.

Virgil snorted. “Like, a ghost? Are we haunted? Can we be haunted?” he sounded excited about the concept.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Roman said. They made faces at each other, a common “you’re irritating” that they exchanged.

“Maybe I’m the ghost, and you’re just now noticing my ghostly attributes,” Virgil said, wiggling his fingers.

“If any of us were a ghost, it’d be Logan,” Roman said, laughing. “From how often he holes himself up in his room nowadays.” He winced, then, because yikes, he forgot to watch his mouth again. He waited for Patton’s chiding be nice to Logan, Roman, that he’d always gotten with Virgil, and frowned when it didn’t come.

Virgil snorted before refocusing on the puzzle, evidently done with the conversation. Patton made a small noise of victory, slotting a piece into place. Virgil’s face softened with a smile.

Roman turned back around, leaning against the couch, brows furrowed. Something was wrong with the mindscape, something off. But if Virgil wasn’t noting anything, then it had to be solely in Roman’s realm.

Because... well, Roman couldn’t explain it, really, just a couple feelings thrown together with erratic stitching into a mismatched blanket that barely worked. But if he had to hazard a guess, something had been created, and shifted, and something – he longed to know what – added, to him, to his job.

The last part made him a little indignant because honestly, wasn’t his job hard enough? Which side decided well, this is a little much for me, Roman can take it!

Probably... well, probably Logan, but it didn’t seem logical for Logan to dump something else on Roman, not when Logan knew how stressed Roman could get, not when Logan was uncomfortably familiar with Roman’s breakdowns.

“Hey Virgil,” Roman said, throwing an arm on the back of the couch and turning to look at the table.

Virgil sighed. “What, couldn’t stand silence for more than five minutes?”

“It was three minutes and forty five seconds and I cannot, in fact, stand upon silence so no, I cannot,” Roman said, the words tumbling from his mouth before he could think. “Nerd,” he tacked on at the end, lamely and without heat.

Patton stopped moving, his and Virgil’s gaze stopping on Roman’s face, expressions twisted with confusion.

Virgil laughed uncomfortably, shifting in his chair. “You might be spending a little too much time with Logan, man.”

“I think it’s a good thing!” Patton said. “Logan can be a tough nut to crack.”

Roman frowned, because he wasn’t really, although he... he hadn’t really tried, as of late, to focus on him.

“I’m... I’m gonna go to imagination,” Roman said.

“Alright, kiddo!” Patton said. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just...” Roman searched for an excuse, half-standing, when an idea struck him. He trained his face into a cocky, pompous expression, drawing on Thomas’s ability as an actor, falling into his role easily. “I’m bored. Reading this novel has not been as stimulating as promised, and I need to fight something.”

Virgil rolled his eyes and Roman internally grinned. Ace in the hole. Patton laughed and said, “Go ahead, bud! We’re not holding you back!”

Roman stood fully, stretching and setting the book on the side table, careful not to bend any of the pages. His books were littered with dogears and highlights, but Logan’s were meticulously cared for, only the best of the best with perfect folds (favorite parts) and notes.

Roman sank out to the hallway they collectively called home, each of their rooms branching out. Patton’s, of course, was adorned with various positive imagery with the overarching pale blue theme. Virgil’s was pitch black, delicate engravings of purple, covered in Logan’s notes and Patton’s pictures and Roman’s odd stickynote varying from return my earbuds you heathen to a realistic drawing of a chicken.

He stood in front of Logan’s door, eyeing the straight white and blue lines. They really needed to paint over this, it didn’t encompass Logan at all. Roman had a few ideas... maybe he would tell Logan, while he was here.

Roman knocked. “Logan?” he called out, puffing his chest to make his voice sound bigger. “It’s time to emerge from hibernation!”

Nothing.

Roman blinked a few times. Was Logan not in his room? But then, where else would he be? “Logan? Look, I’m sorry I was going back and forth with you on the blue and pink colors, it was so much like the sleeping beauty dress that I couldn’t resist.”

A few more seconds, and Roman frowned. “Are you not in there? Hello?” He knocked a few more times, just to be sure. Maybe he had earbuds in, or something.

The door swung open, Roman’s fist poised, and everything tilted on its axis for three horrible seconds.

“Who...” Roman choked on his words, confusion-fear-bewilderment filling his veins. “Who are you?”

They didn’t move, eyes open and unblinking, a striking silver color. “I am not a who. I am a what. I am Logic.”

Something small and dark twinged in Roman’s chest and he shook his head. “No. No, you’re not. Where’s Logan?”

“At the present moment, I am uncertain.” A channel of silver lit up their cheekbones, like wires in a circuit board. “Logan did not tell me where he was going, only that he was.”

“Logan is Logic, you’re... you’re not Logic,” Roman said again, shivering. This was wrong, this was wrong. “Why are you here?”

“I am the manifestation of Thomas Foley Sanders’s Logic, intended to add reasoning to certain discussions.”

“No, Logan is,” Roman tried. They didn’t blink, which was really starting to unnerve him on a whole different level. “I don’t understand.”

They regarded him for a moment. “Very well. I will expound. Logan created me ten minutes and thirteen point three seconds ago. He used the mindscape to do so.”

Roman flinched. Logan created something. Logan created... he swallowed, throat thick.

They – Logic? – continued. “The former Logic said, ”You are Logic. You know your purpose. There are others like you, but they do not know you yet.“ When I inquired of his being, he stated, ”I am nothing.“ This is paradoxical situation, so I sought to remedy his flawed thinking. He said, ”You see? I am vanishing.“ His fingers disappeared into the air, of a way I am thus uncertain. I called him this ”Logic“, as you did, but he corrected my flawed verbiage and stated, ”No. I was.“ Soon after his statement, the rest of his body vanished. I have been standing in the room, collecting data for my success here. Evidently, the former Logic knew his job was being fulfilled incorrectly, and decided to find a solution. I was created as the solution.”

Roman couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. “What?”

“Would you like me to repeat?”

“No, no,” Roman stuttered, out. “No. No, Logan wouldn’t... how did he make you? How?”

“From the data I have obtained,” they said, still not blinking or moving, as if they were a picture on a background, “the former Logic gathered the essence of Logic into a singular being from the data of the mindscape. He inserted that being with a silver strand – of which I am uncertain of the reason – and gave the being life.”

“The silver,” Roman whispered, realization dawning in his eyes. “The silver is the connection to Thomas, you need it to be one of his sides, I’ve never heard of... transferring, or whatever he did...”

Roman fell quiet, the silence deafening to his ears. Logic hadn’t invited him into Logan’s room, though Roman wondered if Logic knew common societal practices, or if he was merely... a computer. A vessel.

A thought struck him and Roman’s spine shot ramrod straight. He stared at Logic intently, just barely stopping himself from grabbing their shoulders and shaking (just to get some movement, some life). “The golden string. What did he do with it?”

A few seconds passed as they processed this. “I am in no possession of a golden strand.”

“But where – where–” Roman stopped, took a breath, and reworded his sentence. “What did he look like before he disappeared? Did he glow, or were his eyes a different color? His veins?”

Roman counted one, two, three, four, five before Logic spoke. “The former Logic had skin much lighter than a healthy human being, being transparent and pale. His veins were not red or blue but a copper, gold color. His eyes were brown, but the irises had lines of gold within them, which steadily took over the entire iris.”

Roman lost his breath and almost fell, holding himself against the wall with one hand. “He’s... he...” Oh my god.

“Is the golden strand important to my functions?” Logic stated more than asked.

“Not... not your functions, but it’s... it’s his entire personality, his memories, his feelings,” Roman said, the words thick and heavy in his mouth.

“Very well,” they said, and asked no further questions, a silence that gave Roman a whiplash he never thought he’d feel. His curiosity, his wit...

And then it struck him.

“Oh, no, Logan,” Roman murmured, eyes wide and unblinking. Logan hadn’t left any untied odds and ends, had he? The “essence” of logic in a different being, and his extra jobs, the ones that required a personality, that required feeling, he pushed... pushed onto Roman. And, undoubtedly, part of Virgil, part of Patton... they all carried a little bit of Logan in them, now.

Roman had Logan’s scathing wit, his quick comebacks.

He didn’t want them.

“The gold,” Roman said. “When he vanished, did he have a mirror on him? A shard of glass?”

“I am uncertain.”

“And you don’t have any desire to learn? To figure it out? Wrack your brain?”

“I do not have desire,” they said so plainly that Roman wanted to cry.

“Okay, I need to... I need,” Roman gestured a bit with his hand, thoughts running a mile a minute. “Mirror mirror on the wall...” his mirror appeared in his hand moments later, gilded with gold and an intricate handle. Roman clutched it like a parched man to water. “Show me Logan.”

The mirror swirled, disney-esque to his name, before revealing a vague fog with a shimmer of gold. One moment there, gone the next, leaving just... gray.

But it was there.

Roman was certain of it.

“He’s still alive,” Roman murmured. The mirror, if it had not been made of impenetrable thought, would have cracked under the pressure of his hands. “He’s still alive.”

“The former Logic did not erase himself?” the other Logic asked.

“No, he’s still there, just his personality and thoughts and memories,” Roman said. “He didn’t erase himself. He moved himself into the mindscape. He did the sides version of moving far, far away.”

“He should have. He cannot take up space in the mindscape,” Logic said.

“His personality isn’t much space at all,” Roman said. “The mindscape is neigh endless. You know this.”

“You make a valid point. I concede,” Logic said. Roman frowned. Agreement so fast?

“But that means he’s still there,” Roman said. “He’s alive. And that means we can find him.”

“Are you certain he wishes to be found?” Logic said.

“No,” Roman said. “But I... I can’t let him just leave. I can’t. The longer he spends in the mindscape, the more he disappears... almost like growing old. I need to... He shouldn’t have left. He’s logic, he’s our logic, and I... I miss him.”

“Very well.” No fighting whatsoever.

Roman took a shuddering breath. An actual mission, with real dangers. An adventure, the romantic side of his brain whispered. Save the damsel in distress. Only, Logan had chosen to disappear into the mindscape.

But Roman couldn’t do nothing. He’d... he’d have to, at least, find him, and talk to him. It wasn’t right for Logan to up and leave without telling the others.

Then it’s decided, then?

“Okay,” Roman said. “Okay. I’m certain.” He squared his shoulders, breathing slowly. “I’m going to get him.”

Logic said nothing, stare blank and emotionless.

Goosebumps rose on Roman’s skin. “But first...” he flicked the mirror, vanishing it into the mindscape. “First, I have to tell the others.”

Logic didn’t move as Roman sunk out. Roman wondered if he’d still be standing there, hours later.

He didn’t know why Logan had left. Why Logan had committed an act so much more thorough, so much more permanent, than Virgil ducking out.

I don’t know why you left.

Roman rose in the living room, drawing Virgil and Patton’s curious gazes.

But I know one thing.

Virgil shot to his feet, entire being buzzing with energy and fear-anxiety-nervousness.

You’re not alone. You’re never alone.

Patton stood slowly, a shaky sort of realization filling his face before Roman had even said a word.

Your family is behind you.

And we’re not leaving you behind.

[pointedly-foolish]

[ вut "sєntímєntαl вσч" ís mч nσm dє plumє ]

word count: 1916

pairing: connor/gn!reader

genre: slight fluff; hurt no comfort

summary: it has been a year after the android revolution. humans and android alike settled down, an olive branch was offered as a sign of reconciliation. with newfound peace came along newfound love, and many open roads to choose from. this was no different for the rk800—connor. surprisingly or unsurprisingly, he decided to continue working at the dpd, this time as a bonafide detective. but he has also accepted the thrilling uncertainty of life that deviancy has brought; the same strings that brought his lover in his life.the same ones he hated and cursed, the same fates who ripped it all away.

a/n: everytime i convince myself i came out of my dbh hyperfixation i just look at connor and i become lovesick again.

gosh i know i should be finishing my other fic or work on the prologue script for my vn, but,,,,,,, i just had a sudden hankering for connor angst,,,,

written during a sleep deprivation induced moment of epiphany,,,,, (purple prose cuz im extra af uwu)

I’ve never written angst before so i’d love to hear your thoughts on it

maybe if you asked him one year ago whether he’d consider returning someone’s feelings, romantic feelings, he’d reply to you with a placid smile and a polite « i’m sorry, i wasn’t programmed to reciprocate romantic interest. ». he remembered that he’d sneer at them internally. now thinking about it, long before he questioned his obedience towards her, he already showed signs of deviancy.

you did what you were designed to do.

memories from his past would still torment him erratically, doubts would resurface on particularly dark days. but you were the light that cut through that haze. this wasn’t a “fake deviancy”. it couldn’t have been. not when he is holding your body so close to his, warmth radiating off of each other, two heartbeats—similar, but different—thrumming together. all the softly whispered and adoringly announced « i love you »’s; all the quick and coveted pecks and all the feverish and passionate kisses. no, he was alive, he was sure of it—alive and absolutely enamoured by you. all semblance of doubt ebbed away when you entered his life.

whenever he’s around you, he feels more alive: you make him feel everything, all the little precious things. tenderness and adoration when he shares tranquil mornings with you. he feels more alive when he’s with you, all the little habits and routines too endearing: the sweet post-it notes scattered over your shared flat; scribbled upon it are encouraging words or sweet nothings. conflicting work schedules meant that moments spent together were scarce, but that made them even more valuable and coveted. captivation, was another emotion that he felt around you. your mannerism, your dreams and interests, your physical attributes and quality of voice. logically speaking, you were just another human, insignificant in the grand scheme of things. you’d live and then one day, you’d die. as if you never really existed. but he wasn’t being logical. how could he be? when you were right there in front of him? you made him irrational, and he found that new aspect in life thrilling. confusing at first, but exciting. he was eternally grateful that you let him experience all these beautiful emotions with you. he was grateful that you allowed him in your short journey that you called life.

he was happy, absolutely content, with his shared life with you. you were both in perfect places in your respective lives: you both had a stable job, loving family backing you up, and a fulfilling love life. what seemed to be a mismatched couple at first turned to be 2 pieces of the same puzzle finally finding their place. life for the both of you couldn’t be better.

but along with the many exquisite moment that your romantic endeavours brought you, the android didn’t only taste the sweet delicacies of life; no matter how idyllic a moment may be, there were times when he had to taste the astringent and sour desserts life offered.

anger. that was an emotion that he felt. but that’s not accurate, no… it was frustration and shock and betrayal, all the unsavoury feelings in the world. perhaps it was due to his inexperience, maybe his lack of exposure to these negative sentiments, that caused him to snap the way he did. to hurt you the way he did. but it happened and there was no turning back the clock.

no matter how much he begged and cried for it.

he was proud that you got the job offer in canada, he really was. and he, like any other caring boyfriend would, offered to accompany you there, an offer which you gladly accepted. that was the plan. but plans were difficult to follow. crime waits for no man, working for the law meant that connor must always be available for duty. no excuses, he was an android. but connor wasn’t just a simple android detective, no, he had a much more important role: he was the link, the messenger, between jericho and the police force. he was the crucial communication between the two forces. so when jericho contacted him about threats of anti-android attacks, he had to make an appearance at their base. the meeting coincided with the day you were meant to travel to canada. it was a simple trip really. it only took a few hours by train, stay in canada for 2 days (it was the weekend), and then return back to detroit, probably arriving in the late afternoons to their home.

but you were looking forwards to traveling with your wonderful partner after « [we] spent so much time apart ». the day he told you the urgent change of plans, connor was tired, overwhelmed. you were frustrated and expectant. a fight was bound to have erupted. accusatory statements, along the lines of: « you don’t actually care about me! it’s all about work and work and work! » and « i can’t believe how selfish you’re being right now! » in between shouting and yelling and frustration and anger and contempt–

you both went to bed exhausted but spiteful, still not forgiving each other. in hindsight, he felt so utterly pathetic, so unbelievably childish, for being that cruel, and uncaring. he didn’t want to be like him again. so many glares and insults were thrown at each other, tears threatened to spill, LED flashed and shone a true red, doors were slammed. he felt awful, plain and simple. you both lied in the same bed, under the same cover. so close yet so excruciatingly far apart. back facing the other’s, no one said a word.

you woke up before him. bitter and unhappy. no morning kisses, no whispered « i love you » to wake your other half. you wordlessly got yourself ready, grabbed your bag and quietly snuck out. no post it notes were left. no sweet promises or encouraging words. you could do this work trip without him. you were independent. you didn’t need a tin can to chaperone you everywhere. so you left. plain and simple. gone. since you woke up and left earlier than planned, you boarded an earlier train. how lovely and convenient. the carriages were mostly filled with androids. perhaps they were trying to immigrate to canada like the others. who knows. you paid no mind and absentmindedly scrolled through your phone, obsessively checking your messages to see if connor realised. to see if he apologised. because frankly, at that point you were tired of being mad and just wanted to spend the day in his arms. but prideful and petty as you were, you weren’t willing to apologise and admit your mistakes first.

connor roused from stasis a few moments afterward, less bitter and more regretful. he wished to right his wrongs but the normally warm presence beside him was not there. his system was slowly booting back up when his audio sensor picked up an incessant ringing from the living room. he jolted up and rushed out to pick up the ringing phone call and waited for the other side to speak up.

the room was so utterly quiet, a silence so suffocating engulfed the room, that you could hear a pin drop. the voice on the other side asked whether this was indeed your house and that he was indeed connor anderson. he swallowed dryly and answered with a soft, « yes ». running a quick check in his database, he matches the caller’s voice with a certain nathaniel edwards. first responder. he allowed his HUD to display the news. if androids could get pale, have all their blood drain from their faces, his would have certainly done so. he stood, rigid and motionless, consumed by shock and horror.

the news and the first responder’s words blended into one as he gripped the phone tighter: « this morning, at 7:48 am the train from detroit to toronto was caught in a devastating turn of events: the train soon caught in fire and exploded as it made its way over the border. it has been confirmed that there has been 0 survivors. it is unclear whether this was an unfortunate accident or the result of anti-android terrorism. »

the other person’s voice poured through the speaker but he wasn’t listening. he stared blankly in front of him. no way, he thought, it couldn’t have been… the only sign that the android was registering the other man’s input was the now constant red LED.

« sir? sir. i’m sorry to bring this— – no, this isn’t right… you must have the wrong number, he interrupted. there were probably others with your name… maybe they were mistaken... – sir that’s not possible, w— – you must have gotten the wrong house… not… it-it couldn’t have been…» but he knew how improbable it was that they got the wrong number. he was built to be logical, to believe statistics. the statistics told him you were dead. long gone. he hoped and prayed that you stayed back, didn’t get on the earlier train. the statistics told him you did.

he choked out a response, quiet and defeated. you were gone. he’d never get to see you again. « i… i’m sorry… i-i don’t understand… – we tried our best to find them sir, but… the fire was too severe… if we gain any new developm— – you didn’t save them. »

still in a daze, he must have hung up on the poor man and unceremoniously dropped the phone. its clatter the only sound in this deafening silence. the reality of it all comes crashing through and he collapsed, ugly sobs escaping him as the denial faded away to make way for the pure and unfiltered grief. he felt lost. for the first time in a long while since amanda he felt so utterly and completely lost. no more shining beacon during his dark and stormy nights. no more valued affection and coveted kisses. no more notes and no more smile to come home to.

he laughed bitterly, devoid of any humour. it was funny, just how cruel the fates were: made human life so fleeting. lachesis only gave them such a short eternity. and when he thought you both found your missing halves, bound to another by an invisible string, atropos cuts it. a small snippet that is so easily ripped away from you. he belonged with you, he felt at peace with you. he was able to be what he struggled to be for the majority of his miserable and artificial existence. with you, he was able to be happy.

but now he’ll have to get used to not coming home to a warm embrace. he’ll have to get used to going into stasis alone, in the cold bed. he’ll have to get used to his aching heart being greeted by an empty house. every cold and lonely nights. it’s ridiculous how human he felt because of you. and he was both thankful and spiteful for it.

sadness and bitter regret ripped through him when he remembered that he didn’t share goodbyes before he left. he remembered how he couldn’t have apologised to you and tenderly held you. he regretted not being able to tell you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him for the last time. ra9 only knows the things he’d do and the things he’d sacrifice, just to have you in his arms again.

instead he was faced with the bitter reminder that the last thing he’s ever said to you, your last memory of him, was a contemptuous and scornful « i wished i never met you ».

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[haledamage]

Epiphany

Continuation of this prompt here. Can be found all together on AO3 here.

@queen-scribbles and @rannadylin this is your fault :P

Darling, Kai thought, for at least the hundredth time. What was I thinking? Am I flirting with Rekke? Have I always been flirting with Rekke? It would be a little dramatic to say she was panicking about the idea that she’d been flirting with him for months and hadn’t realized it, but to say that she was alarmed by the idea would perhaps be an understatement.

It wasn’t like she didn’t find him attractive, of course. She was reserved, but she wasn’t blind; it hadn’t escaped her notice that she always felt a little warmer when he smiled at her, or that she sought his company more often than might be considered proper. But there was a difference between finding someone attractive and being attracted to them. When had one become the other?

“Cap, all due respect,” Serafen grumbled from where he half-leaned, half-lay against a bench in the dimly-lit ship’s hold they found themselves in, “but if you don' find somethin' else t' think about, I'm liable t' mutiny.”

Kai glared in his direction, but since his eyes weren’t open it was lost on him. “If you don't like what I'm thinking about, stop listening.”

“Wish it were that easy.” He opened one eye just long enough to give her a sour look. “I wouldn' be confounded if the lad can hear you mooning over ‘im from ‘ere.”

“I’m not mooning.”

“Course y’ain’t,” he said. “An’ I’m the fuckin’ May Queen.”

“An honor to make your acquaintance, your majesty,” Kai said dryly.

Serafen didn’t take the hint and stop talking, unfortunately, but he never did. “There ain’t no shame in wantin’ to find a bit o' comfort in a pretty lad.” He smiled at her, all teeth. “And your lad be mighty pretty.”

“That's not… it isn't… we aren't…” She scowled as if it would somehow make her more eloquent. “I think you've got the wrong idea.”

“Protest all you want, Cap.” He chuckled and tapped his temple. “I can see what's in your head.”

“Well, stay out of it,” she snapped. Without another word, she turned to walk away. She didn’t get very far, the hold small enough to feel crowded even with only five people in it.

“What is all the yelling about, I say?” Tekēhu stood near the doorway, the tallest part of the hold. Even still he had to bend down awkwardly to keep from scraping his head on the rough wooden ceiling. The look he gave her told her plainly that he knew exactly what the yelling was about, but wanted her to answer anyway.

“Oh, you know,” Kai said, voice still a little sharp in annoyance. “I said something to Rekke before we left and now I'm rethinking every conversation I've ever had with him for clues to how I ended up here. As one does, I suppose.”

Tekēhu laughed, the sound seeming to echo in the small space. “Ekera, you are as bad as he is, Captain.”

She stared at him, startled and confused and intrigued in equal parts. “What do you mean by--” she cut herself off, shaking her head, “no. No. I don't want to know. I don't have time for this. Stop meddling.”

“As you say, Captain,” he said, still amused.

Kai stormed away from him too, toward the other end of the boat. It was a short walk. Can’t a woman have an epiphany in peace?

She sat on a bench next to Ydwin and the Devil of Caroc, who were both silently glaring at nothing in particular and basically ignoring each other. “Are either of you going to try to give me advice?”

“No.” Ydwin said, sounding mostly bored.

The Devil added in a hollow voice, “We don’t care.”

“Good.” Kai sat back, letting her head thunk onto the side of the boat. She couldn’t hear anything beyond it, not even the ocean. “Thank you for coming along, Devil.”

The Devil of Caroc made a motion that was probably supposed to be a shrug, metal shoulder jerking stiffly. “Got nowhere better to be. And I still owe you.”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes. I do.” Devil finally looked at her then. For all that her face couldn’t show emotion, she was obviously rolling her eyes. “It ain’t up to you what debts I do or don’t pay, Kiki.”

“Eyes up, Cap,” Serafen called suddenly. His eyes glowed a deep blue-violet. “Looks like them assassins took th’ bait after all.”

Kai closed her eyes and took a deep breath, forcing her ruminations about Rekke out of her thoughts and reaching out with her senses. She could feel the minds of her companions, each as different mentally as they were physically, and above them on the deck of their boat, eight unfamiliar figures with minds full of suspicion and violence.

When she opened her eyes again, they flickered with violet fire. Next to her, Ydwin’s eyes glowed as well, a cold lavender. “Tekēhu,” she said, both aloud and in their minds, “if you would be so kind as to get the door for our guests.”

-------

The hatch opened and Xoti stuck her head below deck of the Defiant. Her hood mostly obscured her face, but did nothing to hide the enthusiasm in her voice. “Hey, Rekke, you busy? Edér and I were just gonna get some shoppin’ done, you wanna come with us? Watcher said you were on babysitting duty.”

From somewhere behind her on the deck of the ship came Edér’s voice, tired and annoyed. “I’m gonna tell you what I told Kiki: I don’t need a damn babysitter.”

Xoti disappeared for a moment, but Rekke could still hear her easily enough. “It ain’t up to you. Unless you wanna be the one to tell Kai you got yourself killed because you were too stubborn to use the buddy system.” There was a quiet clank, like a tiny, bossy priestess had just poked an armored farmer in the chest. “And you can be damn sure I’d keep your soul in the lantern long enough for her to yell at you about it.” She reappeared in the open hatch, smiling once more. “So whaddya say?”

Rekke chuckled, already reaching for his sword and armor. “Ta. Yes. How can I say no, when you put it this way?”

“Alright, c’mon then. Daylight’s burnin’.”

It was a relatively quiet day in the marketplace, just busy enough to keep the three of them on guard but not quite enough that someone could sneak through the crowd to catch them unaware. Rekke took the opportunity to think back to his conversation with Kai before she left on her hunt, as he’d been doing for most of the day.

He should have probably been embarrassed by how much he dwelt on how it felt to have her in his arms for that brief moment, how her hair smelled like woodsmoke, how tiny she was. The Watcher was larger than life, hunter of gods and saver of worlds; it was easy to forget sometimes that the elf behind the grand title was so small, so delicate.

Mostly, he thought of the look she gave him right before she left. Surprise and then panic, as if he had said something wrong… or she had.

Xoti elbowed him in the arm, bringing him out of his reverie. “Somethin’ on your mind, darlin’?”

“That!” he said, too loudly. Xoti looked at him like he’d grown a second head. He ignored it. “That word. What does it mean?”

“Darlin’?”

“Ta! Kiki called me that before she left.” On Xoti’s other side, Rekke saw Edér turn and look their way, suddenly interested in the conversation. “She seemed… upset. Or confused. She left very quickly.”

“Oh.” A sly smile spread across the priestess’s face, like she knew something he didn’t; he suspected that was very likely true. “Well, it’s a term of endearment. Like a… a pet name, I guess. Like ‘honey’ or ‘sweetheart’ or…” she paused, but she couldn’t think of any others offhand. “It’s not one I hear her use much. She mostly just calls everyone ‘dear’ like she’s some sweet old lady or somethin’.”

“Yukag? So it is a good thing?”

“Yes, I’d say so. Dunno why she’d be confused by it, though.” She thought about it for a minute, then shrugged. “Might wanna talk to her about it when she gets back.”

“I agree,” Rekke said slowly, mind already wandering. Trying to figure Kai out was like trying to work a puzzle while blindfolded. He knew all the pieces were there, he just couldn’t see how they fit together yet. Lucky for him he enjoyed a challenge.

“You and Kiki’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, huh?” Edér said suddenly, dragging Rekke out of his thoughts once more. The soldier stared at him like he was trying to read his mind. Rekke didn’t think he actually had that ability, but he couldn’t be sure.

“I suppose that is true, ta,” he said carefully. He had a feeling that if he said the wrong thing here, it could mean bad things for him. Still, he couldn’t help adding, a small smile spreading over his face, “She says that I make her laugh. I like to make her laugh.”

“Uh-huh.” Edér didn’t look like he liked that answer. He sighed and scratched at his beard. “Just… be careful, alright? She’s been through a lot the last few years. I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

Rekke tilted his head curiously. He knew that Edér and Kai were as close as family; if he didn’t know better, this sounded a lot like the ‘break her heart and I’ll kill you’ speech - if perhaps a little less threatening than he’d heard it in the past. He liked the idea that he and Kiki were close enough to elicit such a warning. “I think you misunderstand. We are friends. She only sees me as a friend. That is all.”

“Is that all you see her as?” Edér waited for an answer, but Rekke didn’t say anything. He also made no effort to stop either the blush blooming across his cheeks or the besotted grin on his lips. Again, Edér said, “Uh-huh. Just remember what I said.”

“I will. Thank you, Edér.” He didn’t know why he thanked him, but it felt like the right thing to say.

“Hey,” Xoti called from a few steps ahead of them. She had her sickle in her hand. “Do y’all remember when you said you didn’t need a babysitter? Did you tell your assassins that?”

-------

“I suppose it was too much to ask that we’d lure their leader out here and be done with it all.” Kai sifted through the meager belongings they’d found on the assassins. There wasn’t much more than a handful of coins, a single sheet of paper, the writing on it smudged into illegibility, and eight crude, wooden human effigies, one found in each of the assassins pockets. Just what she’d been afraid of. She shoved all of it into her bag.

“Probably. At least they told you where to find him. Sort of.” The Devil of Caroc glanced warily over her shoulder at Serafen. She didn't like ciphers even on a good day, but the mindhunter's little show of power had clearly made her nervous. “Want me to take care of it?”

“Tempting, but no.” Kai always felt guilty sending Devil out to do her dirty work for her, though she’d never tell her that. Just because the construct said she wanted to do so didn’t mean she should keep taking advantage. “I’ll take care of it myself. I’ve got a few questions for him.” Quietly, she added, “But thank you.”

The Devil did that jerky, stiff shrug again. “Ain’t no brass off my back either way. Got to see the ocean and kill a bunch of people on it. You’ve sent me on worse jobs.”

“You could stay with us, you know.” Kai knew she shouldn’t say it, but she always did.

Devil shook her head. “Don’t ask. You know what my answer is.”

“I know. But the offer stands.”

“I know.” The Devil of Caroc started walking away. She stopped on the edge of the boat and lifted a hand in her version of a friendly wave. “See you around, Kiki. You know where to find me.” Without another word, she stepped off the side of the boat and sank below the waves.

Kai shook her head, chuckling to herself. The Devil did love her dramatic exits.

Serafen leaned over the edge, staring down into the depths as if he expected to see a bronze construct swim by. “Well, she was charmin', if you like ‘em cranky and rusted.”

“What’s her story?” Ydwin asked, something that almost resembled curiosity in her voice.

“Not mine to tell.” She tried not to feel too smug about the hint of annoyance on Ydwin’s face and turned to start setting the sails and getting the ship moving again. “Come on. Let’s go home. Looks like we’ll have to finish this hunt another day.”

The return trip was quiet and uneventful. The whole trip had been, really. As far as assassins go, these were barely professionals. The only problem was how many of them there were, but they'd take care of that next.

Kai hoped things were just as uneventful back with the Defiant. The idea that she'd gone hunting for the hunters only to have one sneak around while her back was turned made her uneasy. Better not to think about it, or else she'd drive herself mad before they made it back home.

She sighed. Was it too early to try to get some sleep? They'd travelled light, so she had nothing on board to keep herself entertained while they sailed; she wished she'd brought a book or something.

“He's a good lad, y'know,” Serafen said suddenly, because apparently the fight wasn’t enough to get his mind on a different subject. “Your stowaway. Weird, but which of us ain't.”

“Serafen, stay out of my head,” Kai snapped, sharper than intended. She knew his meddling was well-intentioned, but she had enough well-meaning would-be brothers trying to give her advice. She didn’t need another one.

He shrugged and laid back on his bench again, looking for all the world like he was sleeping. Kai knew better. “Weren't in your head, Cap. Don't take no mind reader to know you're thinkin’ ‘bout ‘im. Cipher as strong as you should know how t’ hide her thoughts better anyhow.”

“I can hide my thoughts just fine, thank you. Just not from you, for some reason.” She had very good mental shields, in fact; the problem was that, since Serafen had no formal cipher training, he had ways of seeing around them that she didn’t know how to compensate for. “And I wasn't thinking about him. I was thinking about sleeping.” She knew it would have happened sooner or later, though, as it had been with alarming frequency.

“Don't see what you're so bothered ‘bout,” Serafen said, answering her thoughts as if she’d said them aloud. “He obviously fancies you. Always has done. If you weren’ so fuckin’ uptight, ‘e might’ve already told y’ so.”

She thought about denying that she was uptight, but she was too self-aware for that. Instead, she just said, “Well, that's certainly news to me.”

“He's always flirtin’ with you.”

“So are you.” She shrugged. “Doesn't mean anything.”

“Heh. It could've.”

“You don't have a single romantic bone in your body.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them.

Serafen, predictably, grinned at her. “Just the one, aye.”

“Charming,” she said sourly, but she smiled in spite of herself. She looked away from him at the others, but Tekēhu was above deck and Ydwin could have been either sleeping or dead as still as she was. There was nowhere she could go to escape this conversation.

“Life be short, Cap,” he said, tone unexpectedly somber. “Even when you live as long as elves do. Ain't no point wastin’ time on 'someday'.”

Kai looked back at him, surprised, but he still looked like he wasn’t even paying attention, lazy and half-asleep. “That's… unexpectedly wise, coming from you.”

The seriousness in his voice was gone just like that, replaced with another sharp-toothed grin. “I be full of surprises. I'm willin’ t’ share a few others, if you ask real nice.”

She scoffed. “I ought to set you on fire.”

“You’re the one that has t’ live with the burnt fur smell,” Serafen said, chuckling when she scoffed again.

-------

“Captain on deck!”

Rekke quickly tried to look casual, like he hadn’t been waiting anxiously since the crew had first spotted the boat that Kai and her team had taken. He picked up a book from a nearby shelf and started thumbing through it. He recognized the sound of her boots on the deck above, steps measured and purposeful, and then a moment later she strode through the open hatch and down the stairs. She spared him a quick glance before turning to Edér and tossing something toward him. He scrambled to catch it before it hit him in the head.

“Skaenites,” Kai said, as if it explained everything. Maybe to her and Edér it did. “It’s your Skaenites again.”

“I guess I should have expected that,” Edér said, looking at whatever she’d thrown at him. He rubbed a hand over his chin in thought. “I’d hoped they wouldn’t follow me all the way out here.”

Kai smiled, but it didn’t look the least bit friendly. “Lucky for us they’re as ineffectual as they are stubborn.”

Edér sighed. He dropped the mysterious object onto his bunk. “God of resentment and covert plots. If they’d given up, they wouldn’t be good Skaenites, would they?”

“I guess…” Kai ran her fingers through her messy mane of curls, leaving them messier. “But assassins? I’d expect that more from Magranites. Or Galawain’s hunters, maybe.”

“Piss off a lot of Magranites, Kiki?”

“Just the one.” Her smile widened, triumphant, and Edér chuckled like she’d said something funny. “Right, well, we should have a couple days reprieve before they send more. Long enough to resupply.” She poked Edér in the chest. “You don’t go anywhere alone for a little while. Xoti told me about the market.”

“Of course she did,” Edér grumbled, but he didn’t argue.

“Oh please.” She poked him in the chest again, but less forcefully. Rekke was reminded abruptly of his sister. “Like you’ve ever been able to keep a secret from me.”

Edér put his hands on Kai’s shoulders and lowered his voice. “Kiki, you don’t need to do all this. It’s my mess, not yours.”

“No. That isn’t how this works, my dear.” Edér was going to have a bruise from being poked in the chest even with all that armor, if Kai and Xoti had anything to say about it. “You carried my empty husk halfway around the world to get my soul back, the least I can do is protect you from territorial Skaenites.”

Edér hugged her and she froze before hugging him back. Rekke looked back down at his book, trying not to intrude on what felt like a private moment. He heard a whispered exchange between the Watcher and the farmer, but tried not to pay attention to it.

“Your book is upside down.”

“Ta. I find them more interesting this way.” He looked up and there she was, smelling like fire and sunlight and the sea and looking at him a bit like he was a crazy person. “Hello, Kiki.”

“Hello, darling.” Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. “Xoti tells me you had an interesting day at the market yesterday.”

“Did we? We bought some fruit, we fought some assassins, Edér found another cat. Another beautiful day in Neketaka.” He set the book down, presumably on a table or bunk but he didn’t look to see where it ended up. “I wish it rained less here. It makes my hair…” he paused, but he couldn’t think of the Aedyran word, “eshibiz.”

Kai laughed, bright and warm. “Indeed. That’s a good word for it.” She looked like she wanted to say something else but she didn’t, an unfamiliar hesitance in the set of her shoulders, the way she absentmindedly rubbed her palms together, nothing like the cool, confident woman he had come to know.

Shy. She looked shy. Rekke didn’t know she knew how.

He took a step forward and reached out to her, resting his hand on the curve of her shoulder, just wanting to stop the overthinking he could see behind her eyes. She looked up at him, surprised and momentarily unguarded, and in a rush, he said, “Take me with you next time.” He wasn’t sure if he’d said it in Aedyran or Seki. Maybe both.

Kai raised an eyebrow at him, amused at the demand in his voice, but she looked more like herself, less lost. “I intend to. I know better than to leave you to entertain yourself for too long. You’ll end up doing something… how was it you phrased it? Something noble or stupid.”

Rekke blushed at the way her eyes followed the scar across his face when she said that. She looked like she wanted to touch it. He wished she would, but she kept her hands firmly to herself, contained and controlled as she always was. “I am very good at noble and stupid. Mostly the second one. I am told it makes me charming.”

“That’s one word for it, I guess,” she said with a smirk.

“You do not find me charming, Kiki?” She blushed scarlet all the way to the tips of her ears and he grinned wickedly. “I will have to try harder then, ta?”

She stared at him, searching his face, though for what he didn’t know. He just kept smiling at her and slowly she started to smile back.

Above deck, someone called “Captain!” and Kai took two large steps back. She drew herself up to her full height, such as it was. It was like watching her put her armor back on; Rekke couldn’t recall when exactly she’d taken it off. “I should go,” she said quietly.

“Gigideb ke tahun. I did not mean to keep you from your work.”

Rekke watched her closely as she walked away, then listened until he couldn’t hear her footsteps anymore. Only then did he collapse back against the side of the ship, running his hands over his hair. He made no effort to stop the smitten smile he wore.

He became aware of eyes on him, and turned to find Serafen sitting at one of the tables in the mess hall, staring at him through the open door. He stared back for a moment, but the orlan didn’t so much as blink. He called out, “Ku? Is there a problem?”

“That remains to be seen, lad. You tell me.” Serafen didn’t wait for an answer, though, just walked away, leaving Rekke confused and feeling like he was being judged for something he hadn’t done. He shrugged the thought away and left to find something to occupy his time.

[theskyexists]

Steven Universe Future

i LOVE this rose quartz episode oh m ygod

all of their responses. and Pearl being surrounded by Roses and Greg running AWAY and

one of em coming onto Pearl oh goddd

oh my GOD

one of them is super sweet, one of them is super flirty and one of them is super motherly and enthusiastic. OH GOD

‘i know it’s wrong, but im overwhelmed’ hahaha

‘they don’t just look like her, they ARE like her’

yeah. god they’re so adorable. you can totally see why everybody fell in love with Rose!!

and Pearl and Garnet just literally stay camped out in the bathroom ahahaha

‘i am dying i am dyign i am dead rose quartz’ ‘hehehuhuhehe’ great voice acting on that laughter of doom

the resolutions of these mini episodes are very quick

pink pearl is so cute

that was BEAUTIFUL. Pearlpearl is beautiful. the way they bring the puzzle pieces together, the way they stop making excuses for the person who hurt them, the way they find comfort in each other.

another piece of Pink’s past - why she so desperately wanted to reshape herself into a healer, a benevolent secret keeper, a competent and controlled and wanted creature. she’d hurt her best friend in a way she could not fix, did not have the emotional knowledge to fix, was not in the position to fix, and did not have the power to fix (taken, as pink pearl/Volleyball was, from her like a toy she’d broken). She probably mourned the loss of her Pearl desperately. She tried to be controlled, to be discreet, to be competent like the Diamonds wanted. She was given Spinel as a reward, ‘as a new friend’ - and she never treated her unkindly, never physically hurt her, never showed her the emotions she felt inside - and simply left her when she tired of her and realised that they could never be true friends, because she couldn’t even fathom how to make them true friends - as it would have required the space to deny Spinel her purpose (which in those days meant death for a gem). 

And then our Pearl. Pink keeps looking for ways Pearl is different to what she is supposed to be. She keeps looking for how she might be like Pink herself.

Because Pink has gotten everything she wanted, everything she was supposed to want: control of her own colony (and the respect it implies, and the tenuous power that gives her) and another Pearl. She’s on her way to becoming an ‘equal’ to the other Diamonds.  And yet, she’s bored, she got what she wanted but it turns out it sucks. The place she’s sent to destroy is beautiful, and she still doesn’t feel happy. The feeling grows that there is something fundamentally wrong with the Diamond Hierarchy.

She designs the Rose Quartzes, and makes them healers (that MUST be because of pink pearl), she makes them attractive and kind and beautiful and strong. Makes them in the image of what she wants to be. Just normal enough to be able to make connections with other people without being seen as a Diamond. Just amazing enough that people will love her (like the Diamonds once did).

The more she explores the bubble of freedom that she creates with Pearl - freedom from their roles - the more she develops her philosophy counter to the Diamond Hierarchy. The more she believes that Earth can be a beautiful haven away from them to play in and make connections with people and be forced into nothing and never be locked away into lightless rooms. The more she believes it is worth fighting for. And she learned thousands of years ago that other people don’t want her as she is, can’t handle her true feelings or expressions of her emotion - will break in response or punish her for them. So she keeps all her secrets and wills her new self into being.

And she draws people in and she believes it and she believes the Diamonds don’t care for her! Bismuth tells her yeah they’ll def run if Pink Diamond bites it. She tries it and everything goes to hell.

And she protects her friends. And she bubbles the monsters. And she enjoys Earth and its people because she’s always had to move on from the messes she makes. And she loves Garnet and Pearl and then Amethyst and never ever ever puts them into lightless rooms. And then Greg challenges her on what relationships could be - he challenges her to communicate on an equal footing.

That’s all radical. It’s revolutionary. But she still broke countless people’s lives and hearts doing it. Simply because she was that powerful, that ignorant, that selfish, that underdeveloped every step of the way.

And she knew it. And she gave up everything that she had to change. Change into Steven. And that still had awful consequences, as basically all her choices had - but it was by definition, a selfless choice.

the way we learn about Rose is just so masterful. the way the narrative shows us how radical she was, but also how awful - what terrible damage and harm she’s done to everybody. it’s amazing.

[mwdders]

Hello

Requested: No, but send me requests.

Warnings: swearing, abuse, fighting, toxic behaviour.

Harry Hook x reader

Word Count: 3,084

Plot: This is based off the song Everytime by Ariana Grande. It’s about being in a toxic relationship, and even though they know they’re no good for each other they always go back to each other no matter what.

—

Waiting at the door, it seems like forever, I was suppose to be meeting Harry nearly 2 hours ago. Having the feeling he wasn’t going to show again I storm off and back to my room.

I get tired of your no shows

Unlocking my dorm, I huff and walk over to my bed, Jane my room mate looks up at me.

“Did he not show again?”

“No he didn’t.” I fall back onto my bed. “Am i doing something wrong? That’s 3 times this week he’s not shown.”

“Sweetie you’re not doing anything wrong. Harry’s clearly just not got his priories straight.” She looks at me sympathetically.

“I’m going to find him.” I stand up and quickly change from the clothes I was wearing for our date into a black dress, pink jacket and black heeled ankle boots.

“Is that wise? I mean you’re angry, he might have a good excuse.”

“No, he won’t. I already know what’s happened. I bet I’ll find him in Uma’s office.” Without giving Jane the chance to reply I’m out the door.

Walking down the corridor I walk past people staring at me, I may be an Auradon kid but i am not a princess and certainly do not act like one.

Walking to Uma’s dorm, I knock on the door next to it, which is her office. “Who is it?”

“Y/n. Open up.” The door opens and Uma stands in front of me. “Have you seen Harry?”

“No, sorry. Why?”

“He never showed for our date and I waited 2 hours.” For a second she looks sympathetic but that quickly vanishes. “Huh, maybe he did say something about training?” She puts her fingers to her chin as if she’s thinking.

“No games today Uma. I’m not in the mood.”

“Like I said, try the gym.” She slams the door in my face and I swear I could rip her head off her body.

Sauntering away I make my way towards the gym. Pushing the double doors open probably a little too dramatically, I find Harry training with the rest of the crew but also Jay.

“There you are.”

“Princess.” He smiles at me but keeps training.

“Forget something?” I walk over to him my heels clicking on the tiled floor. “I don’t think so.” “Oh I think you did.” I lean against a pillar and cross my arms. “Nothing comes to mind?” He questions looking at me, I raise my eyebrows, he can’t be serious. “Sweetheart, I’ve been waiting 2 hours for you.” “I’m still confused? I’ve been in the gym, every Thursday 3-5 is my gym time.” “No baby, you were suppose to meet me for our date.” He stops what he’s doing and turns to me. “No that’s tomorrow.” He shakes his head. “Harry, it was today.” Trying not to get angry, I breathe a little deeper, “Y/n it’s tomorrow. I’m certain.” I stand in front of him forcing him to stop.

“No. It was today, and you left me waiting for 2 hours. I told you, that Thursday 3-4 is our weekly date. You’ve not showed up three times now because we keep changing it to suit you.”

“Geez you should calm down, I’m sorry I forgot baby but you don’t control my life.”

You get tired of my control

“Everyone out!” I yell, my patience at breaking point. “What? You can’t just kick us out.” Someone says, I turn to them, it being one of Uma’s pirates. “Get the fuck out now before I pull your tongue out your throat and shove it up your ass.” I yell causing everyone to run out the room.

“Y/n what are ya doing love?” “I’ve had enough of you Harry! You never show up, you except me to revolve my life around you, you never consider my life or plans, it’s like you don’t even care for me!”

“I do! It’s just I’m my own person, you try to control me like I’m some perfect prince and I ain’t. I have duties, to myself and to Uma”

“Here we go again, Uma this Uma that. All ya ever do is talk about that bitch!”

“Don’t you call her that!” Harry grabs my jacket by the collar pulling me into him forcefully. “Get your hands off me.” I shove him away and hit him. “Never ever grab me like that again.” He puts his hand to his cheek where there’s an evident red mark. “You hit me? You actually hit me.” “You grabbed me? All because I called Uma a bitch.” “Yeah and I’d do it again in a heartbeat if you were to say it again.” “Noted. I’m going to go now.” “Wait y/n,” he grabs my hand pulling me back, “I am sorry I missed our date.” “It’s fine Harry. I’ll see you later.” I walk away and out the double doors, as I do, I see a crowd of people standing there, clearly being nosey listening to me and Harry fight. “Scram you pieces of shit!” I growl and they all scatter running away.

Walking back to my dorm, i think about what happened with Harry, how he grabbed me and he said he’d do it again if I disrespected Uma, maybe he’s not who I thought he was.

Sighing I enter my room, and take my jacket off throwing it on my bed. “Oh my god! Y/n your neck.” Jane says, I turn to look at her, not realising, Evie and Carlos were sat with her.

“What?” “It’s all red! Like a huge red mark!”

I walk to the mirror and inspect my neck, she was right, there was a huge mark, it must of been where Harry grabbed my collar.

“What happened?”

“Oh erm, Harry grabbed me.”

“He what?!” All 3 say at the same time.

“Yeah, he grabbed me by the collar, but I shoved him away and hit him.” “Jesus y/n, you hit him?” I sit down on my bed opposite the three who were all sat on Jane’s bed.

“Erm yeah, I had no choice, I don’t think he would of let go otherwise.”

“Do we need to talk to him? Im sure Mal and Jay would be happy too.”

“No I’m fine honestly, I sorted it.”

“If you’re sure.” “I am. Thank you though.”

I stand up and walk over to my vanity, I keep lots of things in it but mostly alcohol. I pour myself a drink and down it. “Steady y/n.” Evie says, “I want to forget today ever happened so I’m not slowing down.” I repeat my actions, drink, pour, drink, pour and so on.

I get drunk, pretend that I'm over it

By 10pm I was laying in my bed, drunk and crying, “Why is my life like this Jane? Why couldn’t I have chosen a simple prince, why did I fall for the most complicated boy in Auradon?”

“I don’t know y/n. You know what they say, you can’t chose who your fall for.” “I understand that I do! But I just don’t get Harry, why can’t he just give me some of his time, it’s like he doesn’t even care about me but then he tells me he loves me? It’s so toxic.” “If you feel like that, you should end things with him. You can’t stay with someone you feel doesn’t care about you, even if they do say they love you.”

“But I can’t! There’s something about him that draws me too him, it’s like a connection. I’m hopeless without him but we’re evil together.”

They keep telling me to let go

But I don't really let go when I say so

“Sweetie, you need to sleep and talk to him tomorrow. You can’t make decisions while you’re drunk.” “I suppose not.” Just as I’m about to snuggle down into bed, there’s a knock at the door. “I’ll get it.” I get up and open the door, “Harry? What are you doing here?” “I needed to see you. To make sure you were okay.” He slurred his words and if I wasn’t so drunk I’d say he was drunker.

“Are you high?” I ask being able to smell it on him. “Maybe just a little.” “Oh for god sake, you need to go and sleep it off. We can talk tomorrow.” I push him out the room and walk him to his dorm, we’re like a pair of idiots, he’s leaning on me because he’s seeing double and I’m trying not to trip because the room is spinning.

I open his door to find Gil, Jay and Carlos, they all share a room. “Can one of you take him? He’s high.” I say shoving Harry off me and he falls on Gil’s bed. “Where are ya going?” “To bed.” I attempt to walk to the door but can’t locate it. “Are you drunk y/n?” I turn, not sure which one said it, “Yes, I’ve had a rough day. Don’t judge.” I narrow my eyes at the three of them.

“The doors on the left.” I nod and walk to the door, pushing it open, with a force before tripping over my own feet, making my way back to the dorm.

You get high and call on the regular

I pull my covers back and try to fall asleep, I know for a fact I’ll be hungover tomorrow and have to deal with Harry.

Waking up my hard was pounding, “Ugh.” Rolling over I sit up to Jane not in her bed, picking up my alarm clock, the small numbers reading 1:30pm. I’ve missed all my classes, I’m going to be in so much trouble.

“Oh morning sleepy head!” The door opens and Jane strolls in with a bag of food.

“You’ve missed your classes but I covered for you, said you were ill and when my mum checked on you, you were sleeping so I think you’re safe. I bought you water and a sandwich.”

“Oh thank you.” I stand up and quickly walk over to my wardrobe getting dressed into black jeans and a black top before brushing my teeth. As I sit down to eat, I ask Jane, “Have you er, have you seen Harry today?”

“I did, he was at practice. He didn’t seem himself.” She had a puzzled look on her face.

“Oh, I’m going to go and see him.” I stand up having finished my food and put my boots on.

“Okay, he should be in the gym, practice ran an hour late today so they don’t finish till 2.” I nod, leaving our room.

Mine and Harry’s relationship has always been rocky and by far no means perfect. We argue more than anything, we’re complete opposites, but we’ve been together for 3 years now.

Pushing open the gym door, I see the boys all stood in a circle talking. I stay back and wait sitting down on a bench. The boys break and all walk in different directions, Harry looks around the room spotting me and smiling slightly.

“Hey you.” He comes and sits with me, putting his arm around my shoulders.

“Where were you today?” “I slept through my alarm so didn’t bother with my lessons.” I shrug, “Fairy godmother was concerned about ya, so was I.” “I’m fine. Just overslept.” He pushes my hair out my face and a worrying look appears on his face, “Is that what I did yesterday?” He runs his fingers over the red mark on my neck, I flinch slightly, it clearly bruising. “Yeah.” I sigh, I look up at him for the first time and see a big purple bruise on his face, “Is that what I did yesterday?” Shocked I put both hands on his face and run my thumb over the bruise.

“It’s okay, I deserved it. I’m so sorry I did that to you.” His head drops and I lift his chin.

“Don’t be.” “I’m no good for you Y/n.” “Don’t you say that.” I sit even closer to him, “But it’s true Y/n. We fall out so much, I’m not good enough for you. You should be with someone who deserves you.” I shake my head profoundly, “That’s not true. If anything it’s the other way around Harry.” “I feel like we need space.” “What?” “I’m sorry but it’s over, we need time apart.” He gets up letting my hands go, before walking out the room. Shocked I sit there for ages, staring at the ceiling, my whole world falling apart around me. The silence was so loud it was deafening, it was like I was in another world, everything moving in slow motion.

Because I'm really not here when you're not there

I stand up and wipe the single tear that fell down my cheek away. I walk, slowly back to my room, when I open the door Jane was there, sat at her desk reading. “You okay?” I shake my head and sit on my bed pulling my knees to my chest. “What happened?” “We broke up.” I shut my eyes trying to not let the tears fall. “Oh Y/n I’m sorry.” Jane takes my silence as a queue to talk again, “Do you still want to go to the barbecue?” “Sure, I can’t hide forever I suppose.” I stand up and grab a grey jumper, slipping it over my black top.

“Let’s go.” She links our arms and I smile slightly at her efforts to cheer me up.

We walk out to the field and see everyone sat around a fire. “Hey Y/n.” Mal waves me and Jane over and we sit with her, I see Harry’s head rise at the mention of my name and he looks at me quickly before dropping his eyes again.

The evening flows and all I can do is stare into space and smile at people when they mention my name, I couldn’t even look at Harry without feeling emotionless.

I keep giving people blank stares

I'm so different when you're not there

Once the bonfire finishes, I stay and sit in front of the fire, even though the evening was cold, the air was warm from the flames. “Want some company?” I look up surprised, “Sure.” I shuffle over and make room for Harry. “What are you doing here? I thought you wanted space.” “I did, but I can see you’re shutting everyone out. You didn’t speak a single word at the bonfire.” “I didn’t feel like it.” “Love, you can’t ignore people.” “Why not? You do.” “That’s different.” “Oh really? So it’s different when you ignore me, when you ignore our plans?” “No it’s not but Y/n you know we’re not good for each other.” “We are for each other, we are so good for each other Harry.” “What makes you say that! We’re toxic, we argue, hell we even hit each other yesterday, we’re crazy.” Angry I stand up, “You’re wrong. We may be bad for each other but the good out-ways it. Hell when we’re good we’re amazing, I love you Harry, you know that.” “I love you too but I can’t deal with the stress, the control and the things you make me do.” “Fine then.” I walk away but he grabs me pulling me back. “I’m sorry love but it’s just how it has to be.” “Go to hell.” I yell at him before walking away and back to my room.

-(A month later) as I walk into the cafeteria, everyone stops talking and they all look at me, “What are you all looking at?” I shout, causing everyone to continue talking and eating, word must of spread about mine and Harry’s break up.

I sit at an empty table and eat my lunch.

“Y/n!” I look up to see Jane running towards me. “You’ve got to come with me now!” She drags me out my chair. “What? What’s going on?” She doesn’t answer me but continues run. “Jane stop!” I pull my arm back halting her in her tracks. “Tell me now!” “It’s Harry, he’s gone crazy, he’s challenged Chad to a fight, loser having to go to the Isle.” Following her out to the field, I see everyone gathered around Chad and Harry, I push through everyone until I’m stood in between them, “Have you gone mad?”I yell at Harry, he looks surprised to see me, I’m surprised to see him too, I haven’t seen him in a month. “Maybe.” “This stops now.” I say pushing Chad away and dragging Harry by the arm. “You’re insane. Loser has to go to the isle? Harry, Chad would of beat you easily.” “That’s the point.” We sit away from everyone on the bleachers. “You want to go back to the isle?”

“Yeah, I mean I’ve no purpose here now.” “What do you mean? Of course you do?” “Not without you Y/n. I’ve had this hell this last month. I’ve not been myself. I’ve hated it.”

I'm so different when you're not there

“Me too.” I look up at him and grab his hands, he stares at me with those blues eyes that could melt anyone’s heart and make them fall to their knee’s.

I get weak and fall like a teenager

“I’m really sorry, I thought I needed space but I really don’t.” I smile slightly and look up at him.

“You mean so much to me.” He places a hand on my face and kisses me softly. “I’ve missed you.” I pull him in for a hug and hold him tight.

“Don’t leave me again.” He squeezes me tightly and lets go, resting his forehead on mine, “I won’t. Even if we are no good.” I giggle, making him laugh too. I kiss him again and turn in my seat, leaning into his chest, he sighs and puts his arm around my shoulders. “I love you.” “I love you too.” I reply. Let’s see how long this good phase lasts before we fall out again.

I go back to you, back to you, back to you everytime.

-

Hope you liked it. Working on request now will be up tomorrow or Wednesday.

[xoloveleonie-ss]

That post about Echo is so on point!!! Many people don't understand the show or some of the characters, Echo included. I don't think they'll change their minds or learn to see the show the way it is actually written, but it's always nice to see there are more people who understand the writing and more importantly, understand Echo.

Thank you so much for this message Anon

I mean i get people not liking Echo since she is a pretty underdeveloped character compared to others, especially when it comes to her backstory before we first meet her. We literally know almost nothing about her life beforehand and most of what we know about her is only from season 4 where she was the “villain” and not a main character with a lot of intricate storytelling where we get to look inside them and see where they are coming from. With Echo you had to put all the puzzle pieces together yourself  and connect the dots and if you’re not willing to do that then it was easy to hate her and that carries over to season 5. With Echo you have to put in work and be openminded to completely understand her. You have to be able to take a step back and separate yourself from your love for the mains to be able to see her fully and GET her. With her you don’t get everything handed to you on a silver platter which is why it’s so easy to misunderstand her intentions or hate her. If you’re not willing to put in the work you won’t understand. And that’s not particularily a bad thing, some people just like watching the episodes and be done with it, but in doing so you will inevitably miss important character moments that are maybe to subtle to recognize at first watch.

I feel like the problem with this show and fandom is that this show demands a different type of audience that it actually has in big parts. This show invites you to psychoanalyse the shit out of these characters, to question their morals and in turn your own, to ask yourself what you would have done in a situation. All the characters make morally questionable choices sometimes and (at least for me) there is no single character that has never done something wrong. A big part of this fandom gets this and appreciates it but another big part of the fandom are also shippers who probably honestly care more about their faves getting together (im not talking about a specific ship here, they all have fans like this) than the actual plot. I mean this show is also rooted in family and friendship and relationships but you have to find a balance between the 2 to really appreciate the show for what it is. It shows you the ugly reality and not a fairytale and if you accept that fact the show starts to become so much more fun. It’s a show to analyse, not just simply watch while playing on your phone.

People often justify their hate for Echo by saying “well we didn’t see her develope into this new person, the writers need to show not tell” BUT at this point in time if the writers would show us then the same people will complain about them shoving Echo down their throates and her eating up screen time that could be spend on precious Bellamy or Clarke. People honestly need to make up ther minds. I just recently saw this with a reactor i won’t name that was mad at the Becho scene like “shoving them down our thoates” but in the comment someone said something about Becho being canon and to deal with it and the reactor replied saying Becho just had like 3 scenes and it just doesn’t do it for them. ???????????? i honestly laughed a little because they contradicted themself so much and it just shows that they just WANT to find reasons to keep hating Echo and Becho. And it doesn’t help their case that that person was a Bellamy/CLarke shipper either sooo. I mean most of the reactors are but like..you need to make up your minds peeps or this just won’t work.

I happen to always have been a person who loved the bad characters turning good trope in tv shows. The first show i was obsessed with was probably the vampire diaries and i loved, like LOOOVED Damon and Klaus. Bad people fighting their destructive impulses because they want to be a better person (if for a certain someone they love or themselves doesn’t matter) or just people tormented by their upbringing and them not knowing better back then but now trying their best to be good people even if they don’t always succeed in it (helloooo Echo) is one of my tv show kinks tbh. I could watch that shit all day and not get tired.

So it’s no surprise i started love-hating and later just loving Echo immediately in season 4. Before that she just wasn’t that important of a character for me to really care but i was always intrigued by her.(*whispers* i also started liking Becho since MW, i just KNEW it would happen some day, i smelled that from a mile and 3 seasons away) I JUST LOVE ECHO SO MUCH!! SHE WENT THROUGH A LOT AND SHE DIDN’T KNOW BETTER AND SHE JUST DID WHAT HER PEOPLE NEEDED HER TO DO EVEN IF IT PAINED HER TO DO SO!!! A LOYAL QUEEN!!

I still have hope some people will change their minds on Echo some day, maybe next season if Echo makes it that far. I swear i’m gonna turn religious these days so i can pray for Echo to survive all this bullshit. I don’t even mind Becho breaking up as long as my baby stays alive. Bellamy and Clarke getting together is fine with me, i’m chill with most ships in this show, but my baby needs to not get hurt in the process please.