#I Don't Wanna Face The Music
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I Don't Wanna Face The Music
by hereforh
Louis likes to think he's a pretty normal, typical lad. He likes spending nights at the pub with his mates, he loves football and is very close to his family. So when he moves to London for uni, he doesn’t think much will be different.
Until he makes these news friends who are nothing like his mates back home and change his life for the better - and this one boy who messes with his head from the get go and makes him question everything he has every thought about himself.
Words: 9685, Chapters: 1/10, Language: English
Series: Part 1 of I Don't Wanna Face The Music (But I Still Wanna Dance With You)
Fandoms: One Direction (Band)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: F/M, M/M
Characters: Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Original Female Character(s)
Additional Tags: Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends With Benefits, Blowjobs, handjobs, Anal Sex, Pining, Misscommunication, Strangers to Lovers, they are just dumb really, Slow Burn, confusion about sexuality, Gay Panic, kind of, first tme, Dual Point of View, OT5 Friendship (One Direction), Banter
via AO3 works tagged 'Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson' https://ift.tt/3BzltRx
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And coloring based on @thegunnsara 's sketch
#OKAY I FINALLY GOT A DAY THAT DIDN'T SUCK ALL MY MORAL POWERS AND I COULD DRAW FOR MYSELF ENJOYABLY#I gotta note that I just... can't find how to draw Prowl the way I will not hate it... Something in the face that I can't find right at all#I don't know how many time months years it will take me to draw him and just all transformers the way I will like XDD#Okay anyway gah tired sleep if I had such a free soul like right now I ohh I wanna come back on tumblr ;;~;;#Also ehgfehge did read Megatron's origin and there was Prowl and if I'm not wrong. Jazz somewhere behind being all bored of the meeting XDD#To be more precise Prowl was making a presentation and giving infor and Jazz looked like he has music in his head#THERE WAS RUNG. AND HIS NAME WAS FORGOTTEN RIGHT AWAY#Anyway I wanna blablabla about plenty of details there but gah#cockroachdoodles#transformers#transformers idw#tf idw#prowl#jazz#rung
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cat who can pick any card from a pack vs cat who cheats at cards: the poker game of the century
concept by my dear friend @sumquiasum
(ID in alt)
#cats#cats the musical#cats musical#cats fanart#mistoffelees#mister mistoffelees#mr mistoffelees#macavity#macavity the mystery cat#i like to imagine the jellicles collectively agreed to let macavity into the junkyard just this once#so that misto could out-cheat him at poker#not pictured: all of the other cats just out of frame watching and cheering for misto#mungojerrie and rumpleteazer are trying to run a betting pool without munkustrap noticing#(i don't know what cats would bet. i guess cat treats)#sorry that this is the first time i've drawn macavity and you can't see his face lmao#i did do a sketch of him in preparation for this. so i can post that if you wanna see
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" I'm a Psycho, loving it~ "
#[album]#ask to tag#cw#Music Shot#S-2#also i just wanna mess with its expressions and poses cuz it's fun#he can turn the black face into a screenface. changing any shapes and expressions as it pleases#horror. realistic eyes. tv static. etc but he prefers the original triangle smiles more#also i'm planning to redesign S-2 right now#S-2 focuses only on killing / violence to gain LV and he's stuck that way and called it a purpose to wipe out population#He got so focus on gaining LV because it made him feel so powerful and wanted more feeling like it's the only thing that made him feel aliv#i'm okay to spoil his story and all. He's made out of human determination in Mark's body and became a split personality to him#that's why S-2 and Mark are both corrupted because they're still not compatible to each other in one body#instead of being unstable in physical form. his mind is. because Gaster used a different formula but failed again#Gaster was trying to cure Mark because he was really ill and about to die#I only took the references/theories from the original undertale amalgamation obviously#S-2 was formed from Mark's own negative emotions and personalities then it became its own character#which causes the two (or Mark or S-2 themselves) to self-loathe with each other#it's literally like looking in a window as a mirror talking shit to each other#The real good Mark in this au is Mark himself. he just needs to be set free from this misery (and need to get rid of S-2 if possible)#that's why in my old Mark death posts. S-2 was gone from self-forgiveness meaning Mark forgives himself and deserves to be happy#(because everyone don't deserve to hate themselves)#i'm gonna keep the left eye joke not being available when doing the horror screenface cuz still wanna make it a Mark thing to him#cw horror#cw eye contact
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WHAT BOOTLEG SHOULD I WATCH TONIGHT GUYS?!???!!
#i started be more chill last night but ended up watching mean girls instead#i'll post my list of tbw musicals if wanted#tonight and tmrw night are the last two nights i can stay up till the crack of dawn without facing the consequences of my actions 😔#school starts WEDNESDAY#i'm gonna CRY i don't wanna go back to school pleaseeeee#anyways yeah 😽#musicals#musical#broadway musicals#musical theater#musical theatre#bootleg#musical bootleg#question#open question
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One of my genuine favourite things about Halloween season is that specific flavor of jaunty music that's just a big clusterfuck of theremin and xylophone, some spooky groovy shit with them tubular bells and some questionable quality pipe organ synth
Everybody's fuckin around in minor keys and thinking "Man I should throw some harpsichord in this jaunty little bop" and it's a good decision every time
I fucking love that shit, dude
#wish I knew what to call it though#because just searching Halloween Music usually gets like#what I can charitably describe as non-metal Carach Angren#which is a good vibe don't get me wrong#but just not what I'm lookin for rn#I'm lookin for music that makes me wanna stick my head in a pumpkin and smile just as wide as the face carved into it#y'know what I mean?#pun's text posts
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Can you do prompt 34 for araleyn?
no.34, gen: "you look happy" //sometimes i think too much about dlyh
#hello here is yet another thing you probably don't remember asking#thank you for the request nonetheless!#woke up w brainrot already going. hm#(hypothetical) you ever think about araleyn as such a Thing in the context of the musical#like. idk vague references in here to context vibes include#the animosity between the two throughout 'he doesn't wanna bang u somebody hang u' and the constant mockery of aragon throughout dlyh#and like. ig since halfway through anne wins over catherine. this would be where the excerpt comes in of 'you look happy'#but also there's the. is anne really happy? no one knows! i like the theory that was floating around that she's actually much smarter than#how she portrays herself in six the musical and the ditzy chaotic version is a front#you can kinda see the more true version in the 'guys i think he's actually going to chop my head off!!'#the panic the desperation the nerves!!! the laughing hysterical breakdown i associate w her for some reason#anyways. feel free to disagree with me on character interpretation ig (but please be nice i am not good w criticism and not crying)#in this one aragon is more concrete i think. because of all the previous posts i've settled on a sort of defined face for her?#anne has always been one of the most amorphous queens to draw for me and in here i am not quite satisfied w her face but idt i can do better#the fun part is that the sketchiness kinda adds to the unraveled look i think. some sort of poetic fitting there#taggity tag tag tag#six the musical#six the musical fanart#anne boleyn#catherine of aragon#araleyn#or if you are. accustomed like me to the other spelling however incorrect#aralyn
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The sleepover scene always breaks my heart 😭 literally me at 12
#ik Marcy was being like annoying and talking about shit anne and sasha didn't care about#but it still hurts when sasha tells her to her face that she doesn't care 😭😭#i remember being told all the time that I shouldn't talk about things other people don't care about#or about uncommon interests#so I started to lie about the things I liked. whenever someone asked me what music I liked I said ''anything'' as if I didn't stay up at#4 am reading obscure lore from a conceptual album about a family of necromancers in 19th century north america written by a florida man#same with books and movies and all i just said I watched disney channel or something#even if my true obsession was stephen king or communist literature or just. late night wikipedia rabbit holes#like on time you learn to stop talking about people irl about your stuff and put it alllll on a tumblr blog#but at 13 you're so embarrassingly passionate and excited that you can't keep your mouth shut#and you're humilliating yourself and commiting social suicide because it takes you just a little bit longer than your pears to learn how to#act normal and read the room and stuff#wow marcy really do be like me fr#my posts#oh well that's what college is for thankfully! you get to be surrounded by people who share at least one (1) obsession with you now!#so you can make friends and meet up and just yap yap yap about mid century criticism of linguistic relativism#or functional-structuralist analysis of myths#i still do wanna find friends to talk about dragons about tho
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god when i go into yearning after a failed romantic endeavour im scraping the walls howling at the moon coughing up hairballs like i'm grateful for the experience but the Aftermath of horrific feelings for months and months makes me wanna throw up. i can logically be like it never would've been forever for reason a b and c but still i see their face and wanna delete every social media ever and live in a monastery until i'm normal about them again
#GODDDDD#GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i just do not know how to deal with it cuz i don't wanna go thru the feelings for the millionth time and possibly cry for the tenth time#but also what else is my option. just listen to music and ignore it and hope the feelings go away with time?#GAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#GAHHHHHHH GAHHHHH GAHHHHRRGRHRHHH!!!!!!!#he never posts face pics his face is always obscured but now. i suffer.#anyways do i feel this way to this intensy because of insecurity and wishing to b a different person w a different life#even though i put up a wall with him and i didn't know him deeply he was always so kind and fun and gentle and mature#and on top of that so cute. like pick A struggle. why is there none#I MISS HIM i didn't just lose a romantic interest he was also my only friend besides my roommates in korea lol#i almost wish we never did anything romantic because at least then there's a chance we would still be casual friends and we would still#message occasionally#i wanna hear his voice i wanna know what he's up to and what he's thinking about#blegh#i liked him so much#self#ㅁㅅ
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anxiety started to spike high (from pre concert excitement and nerves) but for once!
i was able to snack a v little bit (u know my anxious ass is worried abt bathroom access/locations as usual lmao so I'm trying not to consume much until the show is over), got my Lamotrigine taken (bc god forbid i miss a day, then i have to start back at square one and take my dose down to the lowest again which doesn't feel 100% true? but im not arguing with the doc lol)
And let myself have an edible and like. i can feel the anxiety and nerves just under the surface, like milk on the oven boiling and it gets that thin skin over top? it's like the anxiety is little spikes trying but failing to poke completely thru the skin so far (why are there spikes in the milk in this metaphor? don't worry abt it bc i don't know either, this is just where it ended up; we took this journey together)
and like yeah that's not perfect but. it's such a lovely difference, even if I'm still more tense and prone to an anxiety attack rn than I'd like to be. But even this is so much better than it was off the Lamotrigine, and it's nice to see it might be working again (tho i also attribute Housemate's help and going with me to the concert tonight with helping me on this, it's like. if my brain sees i have someone new to the event who might need my help navigating, it lowers the Anxious Mode and heightens the Caretaker/Dad Friend Mode enough for me to be braver than usual. I want aer to have as good a time as possible, and we're keeping it v low key with like. not being up in the main pit, staying to the back and planning to hang out some in the venue halls while the openers play, so the GA/pit doesn't overwhelm either of us, tho it seems the metal scene out here is p chill from what we can tell? But yeah. I can't always be brave for myself, but i can do it for a friend. and also partially for the fact that I'll be in the same room as Avatar for at least 2-3 hours aksnfkfngn)
#text post#long post#tagging that to be safe bc i think the remaining anxiety is showing up in me being overly wordy#even compared to usual lmao#if the guys do a by the bus mini meet and greet like they sometimes do I'm trying to make myself be brave enough to walk over#just to say hi thank them for the show and for coming out here and for the music in general#maybe attempt small talk bc i actually would love to know how they like this area of the country#i just find it interesting bc musicians go a fuck ton of places so they have a different perspective on it#idk if I'll manage that tho bc i also don't want to bother them at all#anyway if ur in the state and going to the concert tonight and wanna chat/talk abt it at all pls msg me#it would be lovely to know if there's anyone from Tumblr we might run into. a familiar name to put a face too u know?#...i need to stop typing the anxiety is showing thru far too much here thank u guys for ur patience with me lmao
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and I feel the oral fixation being so so strong in this chilli's tonight.
#nsfwtext#wanna be all cuddled up#and have them read something#while I pleasure them#have them read out loud to me#and hear their brain slowly dissolve#shaky breath and sweet sounds an my arms around their thighs to keep them from denying me access#me slowing down so they continue reading#but their voice is all soft and low now and sometimes they just need some seconds to enjoy the moment#just staying like that cuddling and pleasure and reading#me getting so so cotton brained and needy i can't hold back my own moans and desperate little sounds#and them pocking fun of how braindead and gone i sound#so dumb i can probably not even comprehend what they are saying anyway#they put the book aside and tell me to not worry they know I am note cut out to think just a stupid girl#all my brain is good for is serving and whorshipping them#my moans of love and desperation little preyers to them#yeah#eitherway#shaking my head every few seconds to get the picture of me whorshipping someone out of my head#like a dog thats wet and or bothered by a fly#fully not doing well#you know what I'll do? I'll play some stardew valley and make some art and maybr that will calm me down#also music#atmos bloom my beloved#am literally whineing and pouting and withering away because i don't have an outlet for this right now!!!!#no one has it worse than me#:cccccc#(this is just me being silly and pouty)#literally feel homesick for a lap to burry my face into#WHATEVER
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i hate that youtube videos and tutorial titles are all like you're drawing this wrong! you're doing your hair wrong! the way you are living is wrong! do it in a way that is aesthetically pleasing to the masses ! be unhappy with yourself and spend more money!
#like i get it#sometimes several people may make the same mistake#but cmon now#it seems very#i can't find the word for it but like#it fuckin sucks#and their faces are all wide eyed with the open mouth#it seems beginner unfriendly#like i wanna learn how to dj and the second video that comes up is YOUR MUSIC LIBRARY IS WRONG!!!#dawg i don't even have one made yet cmon now
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the thing is i have always been the type to get very Frustrated when i repeatedly am not able to do something and get ery Worked Up About It in the process. and also the type to get really embarrassed when i'm visibly struggling in front of other people, which only makes me more frustrated and worked up etc. so uh. rehearsal was not. great for me tonight
#i wanna talk about me#maestro tried to be nice about it and laugh it off when i was struggling with my reed#but him pointing out that my face didn't exactly look very hopeful about it...#well i didn't need the strings sitting with their backs to me to know i guess. i mean. they could Hear.#and i get this frustrated at myself too when i'm alone in the practice room but gd it's worse in the rehearsal hall.#i don't want or need an entire room full of people to hear how bad i'm struggling and see how fucking worked up i am about it#and there's nothing i can really do about it other than. practice. try not to sound like shit.#continue to sound bad in rehearsal for another several weeks and hopefully marginally improve over time#hopefully.#like fuck idk i guess it's worse now cause i haven't Struggled this much with something musical in front of anyone except my teacher#in YEARS. i can't remember the last time something was this bad. but i literally feel and sound like a 5th grade and i hate it so much
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Ugly
youtube
#2ne1#now listening#youtube music#I WANNA BE PRETTY I WANNA BE PRETTY DON'T LIE TO MY FACE CUZ I KNOW I'M UGLY 🗣️#Youtube
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they're totally breaking up sometime in the next month if not sooner lol. he was such a dick today. went to town and he was rude to me, which she audibly did not appreciate. rude to her, to the point where multiple times she firmly told him to stop. said he was hungry then said it would be fine then refused to eat at home and repeatedly brought up how we should've stopped in town. kept going off on his own/choosing solitary activities/acting annoyed when we tried to loop him in or get involved with him. cooonstant judgy little comments. and then we started playing video games together he was soooo uncooperative and clearly didn't even want to play. what a bag of dicks lmao.
#genuinely about 20 moments today where we would reach a crossroads irl or in a game#and i would turn to her and say what do you wanna do#he would barge ahead and make the choice for the group#and i would say oh nvm i guess we have to do this now#it was embarrassinggg#like not to be all 'consent is sexy' but like... the take charge attitude is not appropriate for every setting#and if everyone around you is getting progressively more and more aggravated and you're not pivoting#uh oh!!#god he was so fucking rude to me today#he criticised my phone my car my taste in music my taste in games MY FACE#and i never blew up or started swinging back because i truly don't care enough#i would just say 'yup. i do like this band.' 'yup. i have played that game.'#which made him look like a FREAK because why are you being so WEIRD#god i'm like. cringing thinking about him. sooo many moments today where he seemed like a 12 year old who didn't get his way.#and i just can't get over how like. inconsiderate of everyone else he was all the time. truly intolerable behaviour#it's gonna be so awkward when they break up and he's spent like. $5‚000 on her in 3 months.#and wanted to spend like $15k#adam yaps
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