#I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT SO NO SPOILERS
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And YOU will feel healed of the last 15
... when you read this fic. That is, as long as you suffered from an abandonement wound like i did.
Ello lovelies, i have another wonderful fanfic-rec for you! 🤓
But you are an ocean by @ineffably-good
Coverart by @ineffableclassics
What it is about:
After Aziraphale's defection, Crowley tries to figure out how to live life for himself.
Notes:
Ok so, the end of season two broke me. Figured I was maybe done writing stories about these two after that. And yet, several hours later, a sentence appeared in my head, and then this happened. Guessing at chapter totals… I'm finding I like the idea of Crowley going off in a different direction than what I'd initially expect. Not just raging, not sleeping for a century, but actually trying to move on. And why the hell shouldn't he just move to the South Downs by himself? So here we are.
What i like about it:
🩷This fic doesn´t jump in on pushing the story - their story - forward. Instead it goes a totally different path. A quite big part of it is dedicated to Crowley mending the pieces of his broken heart. It´s endearing, it´s breathtaking and it will have you cry. Not only for Crowley but for every single person who ever had to endure heartbreak.
🩷Fun fact no.1: in real life I am a relationship-coach specialised in toxic relationships and heartbreak. And the way Crowley´s heartbreak is described couldn´t be any more accurate. Every thought, every pain, every action he takes, the strength it costs him, the weight of it all - its written absolutely to the point. I could have copied several pages for the "most beloved quote".
🩷So Crowley tries to build a life for himself. Not just living without the angel and rotting in a pit, but really trying to carve out a nice little existence for himself. He is doing his work, he is healing and you can follow along with him, as he learns to build at least new "friendships" - though he would never call it that himself, thanks a lot.
🩷This healing-journey takes quite some time and somewhere in the middle of it i started to think - he could do it. He COULD heal his hurt, mourn the loss and still somehow at least live a life on his own. Maybe feeling the missing part of himself for the rest of his existence, but not being miserable about it the whole time. And that is a thought - a wish - i would have for my dark angel.
I could see him living that life and at one point i almost thought - i would love to see how that would´ve played out for him. A life without Aziraphale. What connections would Crowley have made? How would he have coped with the loss of those humanly connections lifespan after lifespan? Would he have relocated each century? Would he have moved to Australia and learned surfing at one time? Would he have become a timelord and travelled - i mean seriously, Crowley could do that probably?
But you, my dear, are an ocean.
And oceans are ancient
And can survive everything,
Even the wrath of weather and planets.
-- Nikita Gill
SPOILERS AHEAD - if you don´t want to know the plot, stop reading here.
Stop reading if you dont want spoilers!
Ok - you´ve been warned! Here we go: 🤗
🩷Fun fact no.2: I actually downloaded this fic some time ago but had another fic in mind i wanted to start next. So after i finished the last one (also really brilliant, i wrote a rec on it too), i started my e-reader the next day, THIS fic was already open instead on page 1. Huh?
I have absolutely no idea how this is possible, but i DO believe in hints-of-the-universe. Or little demonic miracles on their own. Because i needed this fic.
🩷Because of course - this is a Good Omens fanfic and eventually the other angel arrives. And without giving away to much: Aziraphale has to fight for Crowley. A long long time. He has to be steadfast and consistent and earn the trust of his has-been-companion-for-millenia. Nothing is a given any more.
And i am NOT saying that this is what Aziraphale needs to do or that he was wrong in any way. (The fic doesnt say that either by the way.) But what cracked ME personally about the last 15 was my own abandonement-wound which got triggered massively. I felt retraumatised even.
So reading and feeling that Crowley does not jump on the next best possibility to be back with the angel was a big thing. Having the Angel slowly earning his trust and simply showing up again and again - I needed that. I needed Crowley to take his time, not be the sick lovefool he is often proclaimed to be. For him to have doubts, to feel conflicted, to feel love and the need to self-preserve at the same time.
All these ambiguities we all have. And to take the steps with him. Watch the turning point, when the fear of losing Aziraphale again becomes less and less and the fear of wasting time gets stronger. Taking one step at a time, sometimes even backwards. All those things, typical for a healing process, which is never straight forward but most of the time a rollercoaster instead. I loved this. I needed this. I could sit back, breathe and watch my own heart grow. Just. Wow.
Most beloved quote:
So if you feel like maybe you need a fic in which Aziraphale really shows up and cares while Crowley really takes his time to learn to trust again... And not because one of them has been an idiot, but to experience them both learning and growing together ... and that might be something for your own healing journey, this might be just THE fic for you. I absolutely loved it and so will you.
Reading is therapy! 🤗
#good omens#good omens fanfiction#ineffable husbands#good omens fanfic rec#fanfic#fanfic review#fanfic rec#fic rec#good omens fiction#crowley#aziraphale#healing journey#healing#abandoment issues#therapy
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So.
I read issue 44 of idw.
#i am not ok#its one thing to read fanfiction of stuff like this#but its another to be like#this got published#they did that#SCREAMS#ok i knew this day would come#cuz ive been spoiled with that panel#but i didnt know when itd happen#or in what context#and omg the climax of this arc was chefs kiss#master chess happening everywhere#but i got tipped off with ONE panel a couple issues prior#where i went#are we going there?#does that happen in this arc????#and like everything leading up to this had me screaming#whenever he told his brothers he loved them thats when all my doubts left#and i was like OK IT DOES HAPPEN HERE#and than after that they slam you with foreshadowing after foreshadowing#and than that fight scene#HELP#this mustve been insane for someone who never got spoiled#it hurt me even tho i knew#I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT SO NO SPOILERS#ok i might know something but still#volume 6 arrives tomorrow for me#writing this at 3am#pixel blurbs#tmnt idw
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Fuck I just have to write a fic about Emmrich noticing Rooks hidden injuries now
#Its so sweet that his favourite color is lilac and i happened to have made her eyes purple#anyways adore this dapper man#im romancing taash next (harding is low key making me jealous but i just know theyll be good for each other when taash finally tells her)#or shit lucanis i was so close to swaying towards him but emmrich is so sweet im just scared hell turn into a lich but i wanna support him#ahh so excited to see how things go from here!#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#emmich romance#emmrich volkarin#emmrich romance spoilers#im playing on low graphics because thats all my poor gaming laptop can handle but i wouldnt even know and i dont care it looks so good#i liked neve but hardened her maybe ill see what happens when lucanis gets hardened instead (hehe) but poor spite...
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FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.
#cw gore#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#chip jrwi#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE#CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER.#HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I#EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND#AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY#YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN#THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN#CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION#bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain..#thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive.#and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN#AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up.#neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...'#RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this...#the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT#better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO..#I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible#i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!
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would you like to talk about how bad the mha ending was hella
as much as i would love to give like. a comprehensive response i genuinely dont think i can get my words together just yet without it being a constant unintelligble stream of 'AND ANOTHER THING-' and bc it's become quite torn in the fandom on if the chapter was good or bad i want like. an actual coherent response here. so i will reblog this if/when i can word it but know IM NOT FUCKING HAPPY
#paragraphs and paragraphs about the villains' endings alone. hawks hpsc president. midoriya's ending#the fact hero society is barely changed and the changes that do happen feel very much TELLING the reader it happened#as opposed to actually showing us how society changed on it. this is smthn ik people will argue w me about#bc yes it was a 400+ chapter manga arguably showing us how society changed but like. did it actually show that#like do u honestly think any community would watch televised battles between TEENAGERS and bad guys#and have the majority of them go 'gah! i cant help but sympathise with the bad guy who just suckerpunched child extra no.28!'#so like. why are they all suddenly on board with massive systemic reinvention. where's the rage where's the bitterness#this wasn't a story on showing the villains as redeemable and working towards society sympathising with them#and slowly painfully coming to a conclusion where japan was ready to change as a COLLECTIVE#this was a story of showing a group of redeemable villains (first step CHECK) getting DEFEATED IN BATTLE#THEY ALL FUCKING DIED EXCEPT SPINNER AND PRESUMABLY COMPRESS#WE DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO DABI AT THE END ONLY THAT HE WAS PUT IN THE EXACT SAME POSITION#HE WAS IN WHEN HE WOKE UP FROM HIS COMA AND DABI WAS BORN. 'DABI' AS A PERSONA MEANT NOTHING#we still have an abuser who didn't come to justice. we still have the corrupt government body now being led by the guy they trafficked#and abused and conditioned into the perfect soldier. do u think maybe his opinions are a little biased in regards to that gov. body#maybe. perhaps. slightly. and we still have hero charts!!!!!! every kid in the last chap is still obsessed w becoming a hero!!!!#and dont get me STARTEDDDDDDDDD on midoriya being a teacher. 'i think it's cute he finally gets a life of peace 🥺#this way he can help the next generation directly 🥺' womp to the fucking womp he was supposed to be the world's no.1 hero#he barely sees his friends anymore. 'it's realistic to adulthood!' i dont want realism in my superpowered teen and up manga#put them in the avengers mansion NOW#so as you can see i waffled regardless of saying i specifically wasn't gonna do that and some of these points bother me more than others#with some being personal I Didn't Like It and some being i genuinely truly believe it to be bad writing#but my summary is mha ultimately felt like a story where a group of individuals unlearned (eh) the beliefs of a toxic society#and tried to save the people that society failed and then they themselves DID NOT FUCKING SAVE THEM#(i have a hit on the redemption via death trope on the dark web for ten bajillion pounds)#and while yeah that isn't objectively an evil story to tell i think 1) it was done poorly#and 2) isn't what a lot of people believed the premise to be nor what i think horikoshi himself was trying to write#ask#mha spoilers#mha
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this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail
sorry got in character for a second
Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though
congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)
#im still not far into nemesis personally but im very much enjoying it#honestly in a weird way it feels like it's moving faster than HD did. which. is funny bc nemesis is like The gated behind item grinds quest#idk. HD was a fun slowburn where we adventured around gathering our rogues gallery before the action kicked in#nemesis on the other hand feels like im picking up halfway through a batman serial#fallen london#ask#it's WAY more fucked up right off the bat than HD was. honestly ive thought abt red honey for ages. that's so fucked up#and we LEAD with that?? Okay#definitely a horrors-filled ambition befitting caeru (the guy who's constantly going through horrors)#it really encourages you to get fucked up and freaky and in ur character's headspace at basically every step along the way#i only have HD to compare it too but HD was like. a lot more interpretative in comparison? at least to me. that's what it felt like#and i adore HD for that dont get me wrong here#HD just also waited until like. halfway through before it asked what the scoundrel actually Wanted out of its heart's desire#nemesis in comparison is right off the bat who died? who are you mourning? anguish. justice. there must be vengeance.#it's a delightfully different vibe!! i like it!!!#oh god sorry anon im doing the classic yin talking way too much in the tags thing again#i havent had much excuse to talk abt nemesis and what i think of it so far and of course its rp effects on caeru#but i do have a handful of thoughts on it#it's good. im liking it so far. it's starting very strong if nothing else. and i have no spoiler knowledge of what happens in the future#beyond the choice between rewards at the very end#and im SO curious how we'll get to that point. what horrors will we adventure through next? off we go to find out!#it's biggest glaring weakness so far is how horrendously grindy it is. and like. ive been warned and done my research ahead of time#im doing it on the same account im seeking. i knew what i was getting into. but also gots damn.#in comparison HD's 5-card lodgings and dreamgate feel like footnotes#anyway while im already way too deep into rambling did you know the honey trip gives you fate?? insane. why does it do that. hilarious even
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genuinely though if they continue venom without tom hardy, or without eddie brock, i will blow myself up and not in a good way
#like. you cannot do Venom without eddie brock! AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE THE ACTOR FOR VENOM WITHOUT DOING A UNIVERSE REDDT#*reset#also. you cannot fight knull without venom. YOU CANNOT FIGHT KNULL. WITHOUT VENOM#i think. god what i HOPE happens is that venom finds spiderman in the barman (the barman is. so important for some reason which. yknow)#and venomxnewhost finds spiderman. spiderman gets BLASTED into the SSU because?? who knows honestly#and along the way eddie brock is there and he and venom are reunited#i think the movie will end with either venom and eddie dying for REAL this time (together!) OR it will leave them#..happy? together? they say their goodbyes to spiderman (venom ((of course!)) takes the symbol) and they just. get to live#happily ever after#yknow?#the set-up for the next movie is there and by GOD do i hope they use it. PLEASE#please please PLEASE use it#i dont want them in secret wars i don't want them in the mcu i don't want them in another fucking movie that isn't about them#i want them. one last time. getting reunited. maybe... daring to share a kiss? or at least a forehead touch? yknow? and finally getting#their forever after#because you cannot have venom without eddie brock. and you can't have a new eddie brock without resetting the entire franchise#also the way tom goes from 😄 to 😐 when talking about the ending and back to 😄 when it's about any other part LMAO#anyway#sjonnie.text#venom 3#venom 3 spoilers
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A story of romance, drama, and politics which neither Trevelyan nor Cullen wish to be in.
Canon divergent fic in which Josephine solves the matter of post-Wicked Hearts attention by inviting invites four noblewomen to compete for Cullen's affections. In this chapter, read the first line.
(Masterpost. Beginning. Previous entry. Next entry. Words: 3,363. Rating: all audiences. Warnings: fighting and blood mentions.)
Chapter 39: Duel Purpose
“The Commander is going to duel Lady Orroat!”
Trevelyan almost spat out her tea.
Lady Samient had burst through the door of the Baroness’ chamber, disrupting the quiet morning conversation taking place within. Both women whirled on her, but—before they could query what she had said—Samient was already gone.
Trevelyan locked eyes with the Baroness, their faces equal in confusion. With nary a word spoken between them, they threw down their tea, and gave chase.
They pursued the sound of Lady Samient’s vanishing footsteps along the corridor, and down the stairs—tumbling out into the Great Hall, where they managed, at last, to catch her.
“What is going on?” asked Trevelyan, to no answer. Samient’s only response was to shoo them out of the door, to the courtyard beyond.
Emerging into the glare of the sun, they caught a glimpse of a crowd below, congregating around the sparring ring. Soldiers, servants, visiting nobles—it appeared most of Skyhold had turned out for the event. Word, as always, had spread rather quickly.
Yet, within the ring, Trevelyan saw only two individuals of note: a battle-ready Lady Orroat, plated in iridescent obsidian, preparing to fight—and a flailing Lady Erridge, who tugged fruitlessly at her arm.
“Really, Lady Orroat, it is quite all right!” she pleaded, as the Ladies neared. “I suffered no injury from the Commander’s rejection, I assure you!”
Lady Orroat fastened her pauldrons.
“I am completely fine—I swear!” continued Erridge, to seemingly little effect. “I don’t mind at all! This is surely unnecessary!”
Lady Orroat turned. She hooked a finger beneath Lady Erridge’s chin, and tilted her face towards her own. Soft morning light trickled around them, motes of dust dancing through the air. The crowd almost melted away; time appeared to slow. Just their silhouette, in the shape of two lovers. As gentle as her touch, Lady Orroat spoke:
“My dearest Tam, though you may bear the insult, I cannot. No man shall walk this plane and feel so entitled as to so callously discard your treasured affection.” Her thumb traced the curve of Erridge’s jaw. “Please, my Lady. Allow me this.”
Trevelyan’s mouth fell open. Lady Samient gripped her arm. The Baroness fanned herself. All those romances Lady Erridge had read, and somehow, she had failed to realise that she was, apparently, living in one.
Naturally quite helpless to do anything but gaze back at Lady Orroat, her eyes—wide and innocent as a doe’s—fluttering rapidly, Lady Erridge assented.
“Oh, well—um, don’t hurt him too much, I suppose?”
Lady Orroat took a step back, and bowed low. “Anything for you, my Lady.”
She strode away, to meet her foe. Lady Erridge listlessly waved her off, before stumbling over to where the Ladies had gathered. She was a mess of giggles and squeaks, unable to say anything that was not in relation to her dear Lady Orroat.
The Baroness helped her regain her faculties, as Trevelyan and Samient shared in the amusement of it. Certain that Erridge would recover from her stupor, they returned their attention to the ring.
Lady Orroat—sword drawn—had taken position at its centre, and performed spectacular practice swings, to the adoration of the crowd. Yet, while all eyes were on her, Trevelyan’s drifted, to the other side of the arena—in search, perhaps, of the Lady’s opponent.
Her breath caught.
There he stood. Soldiers flanked his sides, aiding him to prepare. Armour was placed upon his body; leather straps were pulled taut by his iron grip. He tested his breastplate with a beat to the chest; it clanged against the metal of his gauntlet.
His mantle was brought, and draped over his back, amplifying the broadness of his shoulders. His helm was presented—a lion’s roar, frozen in steel—and lowered upon his head, his fearsome glare framed within its maw. His sword was last, offered in its belt and sheath. He strapped it around his hips, good and tight. His fingers curled around the blade’s hilt.
The sword was drawn; he needed no practice. He was the Commander of the Inquisition—and Maker, did he look it, in the entirety of his regalia. Intimidating, unwavering, he stalked towards his opponent.
“Hey.”
Trevelyan startled, quite unaware how how enraptured she had been by the display. She glanced about for the source of the voice, and found Varric beside her, holding up a pouch of coin.
“I’m taking wagers on who’s gonna win. Want in?” he asked.
Lady Samient, whom Trevelyan had definitely not forgotten was beside her, took an interest. “What are the odds?”
“Winning side splits the pot.”
The Baroness tossed a coin to him, which he caught with ease. “One crown on Lady Orroat.”
Lady Erridge applauded. “Oh, good choice!”
Varric noted it down, and moved on to the next group of punters. Trevelyan watched him go, then returned her gaze to the arena. A Captain addressed the combatants, and defined the rules—to which they gave their assent. Satisfied, the Captain withdrew, and raised an arm.
A hush fell over the crowd. Anticipation slowed the air around them. Breath spilled from Trevelyan’s lips. The Captain’s arm dropped.
They charged. Swords clashed.
It was the Commander who dominated first. His muscular build and experienced arm were a force to be reckoned with. He struck out with a barrage of blows, each one ferocious as the last. Each one as confident. Each one as precise. He commanded the battlefield, as was his right.
Yet Lady Orroat showed no signs of yielding. She was a fleet-footed fighter, taking each hit and turning it into momentum. Dodges and blocks; no counters. It seemed she was not interested in fighting back—not yet. She was biding her time. She was waiting for something.
Whatever opening this was, the Commander would not give it. He stepped back only to return, with even greater force. Trevelyan admired the arc of his sword through the air, its flash in the sunlight, as he thrust hard toward her abdomen.
Lady Orroat deflected it away. The crowd gasped. The Commander was open.
She delivered a swift slice to his arm, before it could straighten. The Commander’s grip weakened. She moved in, butted her pommel direct into his helm. The Commander stumbled back. A mighty kick to his chest, and he was thrown to the ground.
The crowd roared, the Ladies cheered. The Baroness was going to get that crown back.
Lady Orroat strode to where the Commander lay. Before he could recover, she knocked his helm away, with the tip of her blade—and then held it to his throat.
“Yield.”
The crowd waited, breath bated, for the reply. The Commander let his sword fall from his grasp. “I yield.”
The Captain’s arm went up, on Orroat’s side. The crowd began to holler and cheer. Soldiers, trained hard in this same ring, applauded the satisfaction of seeing their Commander humiliated.
Lady Erridge burst from the masses, running to Lady Orroat’s arms. The Lady dropped her sword, and embraced Erridge entirely, twirling her through the air.
Over the noise of the crowd, one could barely hear what was said between them in that moment. But as their dance ended, and Orroat set Erridge down, she sank onto one knee—and the crowd fell silent once more.
“Lady Tam Erridge, of West Coldon,” said Lady Orroat, loud enough for all to hear. “My dearest friend. My most ardent love. I have been enamoured with you since the day we met; in the years I have known you, my love for you has only grown. I have always cherished our friendship, but I wish to cherish you entirely. Please, I humbly beg—will you marry me?”
The pause afterward felt as though a lifetime. Though no one suffered it as much as Orroat, the Ladies held their breath. They looked to Erridge—as did the entire crowd—and waited.
Erridge, fixed in place, blinked. “Oh, Lady Orroat,” she gasped, “well—of course! I could not think of anything more wonderful in all my life!”
Lady Orroat shot to her feet, and collided with Erridge. The Ladies screamed, joyous and in sheer disbelief. The crowds applauded. At long last, a kiss that had waited for years to exist, finally came to be.
The Ladies rushed the arena, and even more followed. They met and embraced both Erridge and Orroat, smiling, laughing, squealing in delight. The world became nothing but noise and happiness. Congratulations were given, and received with joy. Invitations to a wedding, promised and assured.
Never had Trevelyan seen such mirth, and such festivity. Though very few of Skyhold knew the significance of the event, they celebrated nonetheless. The happiness of others was enough motivation.
And yet, in the crowd, Trevelyan found one face to be missing. As her friends continued their revelry, she continued to sweep their surroundings. Somewhere, in this maelstrom of merriment, surely—
“Your winnings!” came Varric’s voice, not quite the one she’d been looking for. He passed a handful of coins to the Baroness, who tucked them discreetly into a pocket, and told some joke about starting a fund for her wedding attire.
But before he moved on, to hand out his next prize, he stopped—for just a moment—beside Trevelyan.
“Armoury,” he said.
Trevelyan looked out, over the heads that surrounded her. The vaguest shape of red wool and silver plate disappeared into a building nearby.
“Thank you,” she said to Varric—but he had already gone. She made her excuses to her friends instead, and began to pick her way through the crowds.
It was difficult, to move against the flow of excitement—but soon enough, she found herself at the very edges of the hubbub. The armoury door lingered open, just a crack, in the distance. She hurried towards it.
Peeking her head through, Trevelyan took in the space. She’d not been here often. It acted as a secondary smithy, with forges and furnaces along the back wall, swathing the room in their warmth and light.
Yet, unlike the smithy of the Undercroft, soldiers would frequent this place. Armour and weaponry lined the racks, ready for use in training. A long bench, where such soldiers would prepare, waited below.
Today, however, it boasted only one occupant.
The Commander had collapsed upon the bench, wrenching the plate from his body. Each piece clattered to the floor as soon as the straps came loose. With all outside celebrating, there was no one to attend him.
And so he continued the task himself, stripping his mantle and laying it over his lap. Arms free, he tugged at his gorget until it came loose; removed it and the breastplate beneath. Just a gambeson, now, and his helm.
He discarded the latter first, his face at last revealed—exhausted, and panting. Sweat-streaked skin glistened in the glow of the fires. But not mere sweat alone. Trevelyan gasped. Blood. There was blood.
The Commander must have felt it, for he raised his hand to his upper lip, and pulled it away, red. A bloody nose. That strike to the face.
He sighed, and, like the weight of the world was holding him down, leant back against the wall—
“Forward, Commander!” blurted Trevelyan, before she’d even thought of what to say next. “You... need to tilt your head forward.”
His eyes widened at seeing her there, but he followed her instruction regardless. “Thank you,” he said.
Trevelyan barely acknowledged it. She glanced at the door, and almost stepped through—but, out of the corner of her eye, saw a drop of crimson splash against the floor.
She could not leave him like this.
She let the door shut, and turned instead towards him. A hand dipped into her pocket, and from within, she produced a small cloth.
“Commander,” she said, creeping closer, “use this.”
Head still tilted downward, the Commander’s hand clumsily found hers. Their fingers overlapped for the briefest of moments—before he took hold of the cloth, and fled with it.
Yet he hesitated, in bringing it to his face. “This is from the banquet,” he muttered.
Surprising that he’d somehow remembered. But he was right. It was the napkin he’d given to her that night, to dry her tears.
“I had it cleaned,” said Trevelyan.
He held it out to her. “I... can’t use this.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want to stain it.”
Trevelyan sighed. “Commander, you’re bleeding. Please.”
His hand withdrew, and he pressed the napkin to his nose. Trevelyan took a little step back, and watched him. Her hands twisted around each other, unsure of what to do with themselves.
“Commander?” she whispered.
He started to raise his head.
“No, no—keep it forward,” Trevelyan instructed. “Please.”
This order came not only for the benefit of his bloodied nose. She could not bear both his gaze, and the words she wished to say. Thank the Maker, he did as asked.
“I’m... so sorry, Commander, for my behaviour, last we spoke,” she murmured, struggling not to falter. “My response to your situation was entirely unsympathetic, and undeservedly harsh. My temperament at the time was not balanced, and it is you who bore the brunt of that. I am sorry, truly, I am.”
He was quiet for a moment. A terrifying, excruciating moment. Until, that is, he said:
“You needn’t apologise to me.”
Trevelyan blinked. “What?”
“Nothing of what you said to me that day was incorrect or undeserved,” the Commander told her, voice firm. “You had every right to despise me. I treated you all disgracefully.”
He lifted his head, if only for a second, to look at her—despite the pain it seemed to bring.
“It was not your fault, but mine. There is nothing for you to apologise for. I am sorry. For everything I did.”
She waited until his head dipped back down, and moved a little closer. “But even if I were upset, even if I were right, I needn’t have been so wicked in how I addressed you.”
“No. I deserved to know the consequences of my actions, in as clear and difficult terms as possible. I was cruel, and ignorant. I needed to understand the hurt I had caused. Especially to you. And... I am sorry that I did, cause it.”
Trevelyan sank to her knees before him. Gently, she took the napkin from his grasp, and examined his nose.
“The bleeding’s stopped,” she told him.
Unable to meet her eye, he nodded, head still bowed.
“I understand why you did it,” she muttered. “Lady Montilyet explained to me, what the court of Orlais has put you through. Were I faced with the same, I cannot imagine I would have acted differently.”
The Commander’s head shook. “You would. You would never have done what I did to all of you.”
“Oh, come, Commander. You’ve seen my less savoury side, now.” She folded the napkin, so that it formed a clean little square. “You should have heard the things I called you the first night we met.”
“Deserved, I’m sure.”
“Stop punishing yourself, Commander.” Trevelyan raised the napkin to his face. “May I?”
He nodded. She placed her fingertips beneath his chin, and tilted his head. The cloth was dabbed upon a small cut, lancing across his cheek.
“Besides,” she said, “I hear you’ve had punishment enough.”
The mere mention was enough to eke a little smirk from his mouth.
“Yes, the Ladies made quite sure of that,” he murmured. “I... ought to have listened to you, and Lady Montilyet. They are good women.”
“Impressive, even?” she suggested.
“Yes.”
Trevelyan smiled. She turned his head, and brushed dirt from his other cheek.
“Their ‘punishments’ were more endearing than I believe was intended,” the Commander confessed. “I quite enjoyed their company.”
“Finally.” Trevelyan withdrew her hand, let him face forward once more. “I told you.”
“You did. Though… I was right about one thing.”
“What is that?”
He smiled, eyes askance. “I still much prefer yours.”
“Oh.”
Trevelyan stared at him. No longer seeking his skin for wounds, she took in his face, closer now than it had ever been. Every prick of stubble was in perfect focus. The exact curve of the scar that marred his lip. Each lash that framed his honey eyes.
She caught their gaze.
“Um…”
The door burst open. Trevelyan scrambled to her feet, shoving the napkin into her pocket. Lady Orroat—halfway-out of her own armour—strode in, with Lady Erridge hanging upon her arm.
“Oh!” gasped Erridge, eyes wide at seeing Trevelyan. “Lady Trevelyan is here. Um, dearest Hul, perhaps we should leave them, for a moment—”
Lady Orroat, apparently as oblivious in nature as her fiance, continued regardless. “But we must make certain the Commander is all right,” she begged, marching for where he sat. She winced, upon seeing his face. “Oh, Maker, I am so sorry, Commander.”
“It’s fine,” he said, though Trevelyan could not help but note a hint of confusion in his voice. He mouthed, to Lady Orroat: “Does she know?”
‘She’ referring here to Lady Erridge—who promptly began to giggle.
“I’m afraid I do!” she confessed. “My dear Lady confessed all to me after the duel had ended—though I had suspected it might be a ruse. Dear Hul would never truly be so insistent upon fighting if I objected so!” She took Orroat’s hand, and squeezed it tight. “Oh, it was so terribly romantic. Thank you, Commander. I am ever so sorry that it got you hurt.”
He waved it off. “Perhaps that makes us even.”
Erridge nodded. “I believe it does.” She glanced between Trevelyan and the Commander once more, and tugged at Orroat’s hand. “Come, my love, we’d best be off.”
Orroat finally allowed herself to be led away—but as they left, called out:
“There’s been some kind of impromptu party arranged at the tavern nearby! Do come along!”
“No, no,” said Erridge, hurrying Orroat out of the door, “stay here as long as you like!”
The door swung shut, and silence fell again. Trevelyan looked to the Commander. He had begun to reoccupy himself with the removal of his armour, and was already busy loosening his greaves.
“Is that why you invited Lady Orroat here?” she asked.
He glanced up. “Hm?”
“You conspired with Lady Orroat to stage a duel?”
The Commander released the straps, and straightened up. “Not originally. I invited her because I realised Lady Erridge cared for her. I thought it might be a start, at making amends. I spoke to her privately after she arrived. She told me of how she and Lady Erridge had met—through a duel, between a boy and Lady Orroat.”
Trevelyan nodded. “Lady Erridge told me the same story.”
“I suggested we recreate the circumstances, to provide Lady Orroat an opportunity to reveal her affection. I thought it... might be poetic, in some way.”
He shrugged. Trevelyan smiled. A little warmth gathered in her chest.
She moved closer.
“Will you be attending the party, Commander?”
He shook his head, and continued working off his greave. “I am unsure the loser would be welcome at the celebration.”
“I believe it would a show of humility,” Trevelyan teased. “You do have an arrogant streak.”
“I’m working on it.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”
The Commander glanced up at her, hand finding the back of his neck. “I, ah…”
Trevelyan giggled. “Here,” she said, offering him the napkin, sullied as it was, “in case you need it. I’d best get to the party, before any rumours start.”
He took it, and nodded. “Yes, of course, ah…”
“Perhaps I will see you,” she said.
“Perhaps.”
She smiled, and bid him farewell with a curtsy. He bowed as best he could, and watched her go.
Trevelyan had thought, that when she spoke to him again, she would know what she wanted. Whether she wanted to forgive him, whether she wanted to trust him.
She was right, in a way. For when she glanced back, one last time, before slipping through the door—she knew exactly what she wanted.
It was simply not an option she’d expected.
#unwanted fic#unwanted#cullen rutherford#cullen x trevelyan#you know what those tags mean folks#he's here#and ohoohoooohohohooo#spoiler warning for the next tags#i've been soooo looking forward to this. the tension. the atmosphere. cullen panting and sweaty. it's got it all#on the other hand i am very sorry because next chapter is not the party as nothing of import is going to happen there#and cullen does not show up#but dont worry#there's another party coming soon enough#(and congrats to anyone who gets the deep cut cullen girlie reference in this chapter lol)#(btw this was 99% done for days but it took me so long to get the beginning right that i kept it back and im glad i did bc i like it now)
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How normal are we feeling about ISAT?
this ^ normal. perhaps even less
#was tempted to edit sif onto this as the thang being chewed but i Do Not have the energy#i just opened it again .. yknow that part of the main theme where everything comes together. so so pretty it makes my heart warm#we are almost 60 hours in w this playthrough and i need to mentally prepare myself for the next act bc. yeah <3#one of the few games where i genuinely need to do that tbh#and preparing myself for the epilogue thingy ........#admittedly. i technically know what happens bc ive seen a lot of spoilers. but i dont know Everything and how much it connects exactly#and i still have to play sasasa after this bc ive also been spoiled on.. some things.. that make it evident that its uh#more important narratively than i expected#BUT for now. focusing on the current horrors <3#ask#asquared-ohgodnotthehorrors#accurate username for this lmao#isat spoilers#< even tho im being vague on purpose. just in case
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am i?? losing my mind here??
okay, so, like, subnautica, right?
recent news is that subnautica 3 is in production/in the works, hooray!! literally cannot be more excited about this, it’s my favorite game ever and i am so thrilled to see where the next one is headed but, i feel like, what the next one is going to be about is. . obvious?
who knows!! maybe im losing my mind here and i am just a tad too into these games so other people didn’t think about this but, sub3 is gonna be about the architect home planet. it has to be, doesn’t it??
the exact quote from the people working on the game is “I dream of visiting new worlds, exploring intricate alien ecosystems and lost civilizations. I don't think I'll ever get tired of the fantasy of making contact with intelligent life. I also dream about going on these adventures with friends. Getting lost, together.” and people are theorizing that the game takes place either in the past, showing 4546B a thousand years ago, takes place in the crater’s edge, or another unseen part of 4546B but. . .4546B’s story is done? the only loose end there is Ryley, who i would love to see again, but the planet’s mysterious have all been answered? i don’t know how they are coming to those conclusions when BZ perfectly sets up what the next game will be about?
“I dream of visiting new worlds, exploring intricate alien ecosystems and lost civilizations” this??? seems so much like they’re talking about exploring the architect homeworld??? new worlds implies we’re going to a different place, doesn’t it? and lost civilizations, yeah, going through the arc homeworld and piecing together what happened??
“I also dream about going on these adventures with friends. Getting lost, together.” some people are interpreting this as sub3 going multiplayer, which would be okay i guess, but wouldn’t this make more sense if it were referencing Al-An and robin???? especially with the line BZ ends with?? ‘with you, I am ready to face whatever awaits us’ like???
also the second game ended with a cliff hanger!!! it ended with showing us the architect homeworld!!! WHY WOULDN’T SUB3 BE ABOUT THAT???? WHY WOULD THEY SUDDENLY SHIFT THE STORY ENTIRELY??
i dont know, maybe im losing my mind here, maybe theorists on youtube know something i don’t but the plot of sub3 seems obvious to me, because BZ literally ended with showing us where the story was headed.
am i crazy? or have other people also realized that exploring the architect homeworld seems like the only logical next step in the story? to find out what happened? we found out what happened to sam and the game ends with robin promising they’ll find out what happened to the architects. why are people thinking ANYTHING ELSE would happen????
who knows, if sub3 comes out and im completely wrong, i will take that L and dig myself a grave but until then, i will hold this thought pretty confidently
#subnautica#subnautica below zero#subnautica below zero spoilers#subnautica spoilers#subnautica al-an#is it because they hate BZ :(( it's because they hate BZ isn't it :(( god dammit#sleepy rants#these games are legit my favorite games in existence and BZ meant so fucking much to me - i adored that game!! it was so good!!#not every game needs to be a masterpiece - i had a wonderful time playing it and fell in love with the story/characters#that's all a good game needs#the story of the architects is so interesting and i would love to know more about them/their home and so many people just pretend-#-that they dont exist and it takes away such a big chunk of what makes subnautica the amazing game it is#sorry if i come off as bitchy here- i just care about subnautica a lot and seeing people completely ignore a major part of it sucks#al-an's story is so interesting!!! i love the arcs SO FUCKING MUCH!!! when i saw him for the first time i lost my SHIT#I WANT THE NEXT GAME TO BE ABOUT THE ARCS SO BADLY#TELL ME MORE ABOUT THEM#PLEASE#like i cannot tell if these people are willfully being ignorant to basic story telling mechanics or if they just. . . dont get it#it ended on a cliff hanger- the next game will be explaining that cliff hanger?#like sure we didn't get an answer to what happened to ryley word for word but we KNOW that alterra is pretending he doesn't exist!!#we know- in part- what happened to him- that's why it isn't answered#we find logs talking about how the aurora 'disappeared'#with no survivors#alterra is hiding his existence#also WE NOW HE'S IN SPACE- MYSTERY THERE SOLVED#SPACE#BUT WITH THE ARCS WE DON'T KNOW!!#WHY WOULD THEY SET UP AN ENTIRE GAME WITH THE MYSTERY OF TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ARCS AND THEN JUST DROP IT???????#WHY DO THEY THINK THAT UW WOULD DO THAT???#angry
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more than a month after my previous kotor update i am happy to announce that i have finally met jolee and had him join me <3
#el plays kotor#yes im still on kashyyyk dont look at me#i was distracted by other games for a sec lmao but sth made me return to kotor yesterday#and now the party is complete!!!#and i have found 3 star maps and the plot is thickening!!!!#i keep wondering. if i hadn't been spoiled abt the pc's true identity would i have pieced it together by now#bc the foreshadowing isn't exactly subtle#or maybe it just feels unsubtle to me precisely because i know what is being foreshadowed....#but like. from the very beginning carth is like hmm its kinda sus that you happened to be on the endar spire#and then all those conversations with bastila that make u go hmmmm what's that supposed to mean#and then... when getting the star map on kashyyyk the hologram says sth abt you matching the required behavioral patterns or whatev#and that the last time it was used was five years ago And you can reply with 'hey revan was in these parts five years ago right'#like!!! yeah!!!! it was me!!!! i was the last user five years ago thats why i match the pattern i am revannnnnnnn#i have to know. did the first kotor players back in 2003 figure it out by this point hngngngnhng#or like any other players after 2003 who played and managed to avoid spoilers#anyway back to jolee. he is so cool but also so squishy on god#apparently some ppl give him a blaster to keep him out of melee but like you cant give a blaster to a jedi..... so uncivilized.......#i set him to use force powers until he runs out of force points#but the moment he runs out of force points and jumps into the fray he goes down. sigh#maybe im doing something wrong again. maybe i should let go of my jedi pride and just give him a blaster#i should also probably use all those energy shields and battle stimulants i have hoarded. i keep forgetting abt them lmao#also!!! @ the mutual who sent me that kotor related ask also more than a month ago i just wanted to let u kno. i have replied to it#i mean if u missed it or if u didnt get a notif or forgot or anything else that's cool !!#i just get all worried that ppl might think i havent answered and that im ignoring them if they dont indicate they've seen the reply gfhgfh#but that's a me issue. i just wanted to make sure u knew 🫶#anyway!! next stop manaan maybe#but first a detour to tatooine to deal with mission's useless deadbeat brother
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god what a fucking terrible country this is to be trans in. it rly just keeps getting worse huh
#if the tories somehow get reelected next term. i dont even know what im gonna fucking do man. or any of my friends#the current state of the world is so bleak#AND i have a job interview tomorrow 😭 (<- in the tone of and prom is tomorrow!!) if a meteor wants to just obliterate me rn idm#ourghhhh#change of topic to smth less depressing i finally beat leshy + got to the second stage of inscryption!! genuinely wasnt expecting-#it to be the way it is (<- no spoilers) but sooo cool. im not always into turn based rogues but its such a well crafted game#excited to see. what happens next 👀 ill be honest i mainly got into it for the po3 fanart i kept seeing around so 👀👀👀👀#and i made soup and brownies and i have parkour tomorrow and maybe a trans swim meet next week so. perhaps not all hope is lost#my flatmate said smth earlier abt how all of the negative shit atm seems so huge and beyond out control. and the positives so tiny#in the face of that. which is really tru cosigned some rl shit she said. but what else is there to stay afloat clinging to innit.#anyway. need to change my sheets + watch another adventure time ep + get my shit together for tmr morning + read + SLEEP#hope everyone is holding up alright ily#.diaries
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i was playing about dropping Fifty Drawings onto everyone's dashboard this week but the unfortunate reality is i am in fact being assaulted with images
#snap chats#this is what happens when i go on three hour walks i guess#might abandon some but i will spitball the ones on the forefront of my brain..#more for my sake so i dont fuckin forget cause I Am Starting To Forget Already dont read if. you dont want spoilers ???#not y7 spoilers. or i mean i GUESS there'll be y7 spoilers but i mean for my psts. i guess. only i care about that ANYWAY#i wanna draw a comic of aoki getting SOME kind of butterfly memorabilia or something with him and butterflies#i Was having a chortle with myself about Like A Butterfly but i was also like... Yk Butterflies Still Are About Rebirth#lame as hell ik but shut up anyway next one i wanted to do was Troubled Teen Jo getting in a scrap with arakawa#idk if i want this to be AFTER arakawa's become a father or not.. im still chewing on exactly what i want the direction of it to be..#i have an IDEAAAA just.. nothing concrete yet..#and then the one i wanted to see if i could do tonight was Beach Day With The Arakawas :) Cause IDK <:)#i really dont know.. for some reason i just got visions of them three at the beach.. maybe its cause of tonbi idk...#though the more i thought about that idea the longer it got and the more i was like 'maybe i can turn this into a fic instead'#a terrible sentence cause generally i never get anything done when i say that but it'd fr be too long to make a comic of#so at least for now maybe ill make a short fic.. just tryna figure if i want a jo or arakawa pov#i always think of jo's pov so i wanna challenge myself with arakawa. i always focus on jo and his pov of 'becoming a father'#but sometimes i also really wanna explore arakawa's pov on jo becoming another parental figure for masato. or smthn like that idk#ANYWAY LET ME COOK. im not a good chef but i can at least cook an egg lemme see what i got...#bye bye for now ill be in the kitchen (google docs) if anyone needs me..
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HELLO??? TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION???? BRO????
#speculation nation#trigun spoilers/#I GUESS???#im only on chapter 34 of trimax man i dont KNOW this shit#also blindsided by the fact that there are two more independent plants coming around#I MEAN i did rewatch ep 12 of tristamp today & at the end it mentions an 'independent' and i was like 'oh huh'#independent Chronica. geeze i really need to read more trimax huh#also MR VASH SIR. TELEPATHY??????????????#is this like the shit that happened with Legato??? i mean that was weird but i just figured it was Legato doing his shit#Vash has never shown telepathic abilities outside of that. besides like. plant shit ykno#head in my hands. this is actually pretty relevant to the next thing im writing. do i need to read more of trimax b4 i can continue???#god this is so unhelpful. what do you MEAN he has telepathy??? mr vash the stampede sir. what the fuck do you MEAN#djflsdkfj maybe i can make some more progress on trimax instead of reading the wiki and going '?!?!?!?!'. obviously i need it
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Good GOD
#first half of this weeks demon slayer ep: 😊😋🤣🤭🤪#second half: 😙😗😦😰😱🫨#no but for real i am just now realizing how much of this arc i DONT remember and im fuckin!!!!!#scared!!!!!!!!#COMPLETELY forgot about hantengus power set so i was just sitting here like huh?? huh???? whattafuck????#AND MITSURI GIRLFRIEND WHERE ARE YOU#MAJOR SPOILERS IN NEXT TAGS!!!!#bro i just… knowing what is going to happen with genya everytime hes on screen my heart just HURTS#any moment of joy or levity with him im like for the love…. of god…..#shinazugawa siblings i CANT protect you but GOD do i wish i could#truthfully this whole arc is just… count the bodies!!! lmao!!#😭😭😭
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SEL PLEASE LOOK AT THIS
https://x.com/BIGDADDYGOJO/status/1704382923409907962?s=20
zuro anon
zuro anon omg u are gracing us again !!! 🥺 how are u now that it's settled a bit omg hsjdbgjg 😭
this link saying more hints/theories to support that it isn't ovER !
thank u for sending this in sgdvasjzgxb
#nonie.zuro#ask#rep#i was rlly emotional the entire afternoon and i feel like i went thru all the stages of grief in the span of that time until now bgsh#but i think i am .... just resigning myself to waiting until next week again or smTH !#bc i truly feel like... it is so anticlimactic if we dont even know how sukuna got to him 😭😭😭#like its not just me right there rlly wasnt a battle scene showing it 😭😭😭#and the last we saw of gojo he was FINE sjdhgbjsa bETTER THAN FINE ???#so i was honestly a lil bit very CONFUSED#like what happened in between 😭#anyway ! as usual thank u zuro anon !!!!!#jjk spoilers#jjk 236
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