#is this like the shit that happened with Legato??? i mean that was weird but i just figured it was Legato doing his shit

[orcelito]

HELLO??? TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION???? BRO????

[weirdcat1213]

YEY THE HORRORS i mean YEY THE BOOKCLUB :D

thoughts on volume 6 (oh boi we're almost halfway someone hold me pls)

chap 1:

-OH MY GOD ITS HIM I FORGOT ABOUT HIM FOR A MOMENT (not in general, ik he's in 98)

-HEY HIS WINGS MAY BE CREEPY BUT THEYRE ALSO BEAUTIFUL TO ME >:[

-HOWEVER i love how yeah they are scared af but also get that vash as a person is not bad and they don't leave his side

-WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR BF LIKE THAT STOP STOP STOOOOOP. IDC THAT HE IS A LITERAL LASER CANON HES STILL JUST A LITTLE GUY

-are we...supposed to notice how bad the state of the gun is or...?

-nono brandon is right, i would also not give good guns to cops

-vash i fucking swear-

-SHUT UP YOU FUCKING COP >:[

-BRO WTF

-YEAH BRANDON CALL HIM OUT

-MY FAVORITE WEIRD CREATURE IS HERE

-ok in my 1st read didnt get that, idk why but i was confused about meryl getting worried for some reason. but she has a (sad) point. will one day the ptsd related to violence and guns be enough to make vash not shoot his gun? shes asking an interesting question. shes literally asking how much can vash take imo.

-wait so...was the replacement gun...the one in stampede??? (i will compare them later)

-DONT LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE GENTLE EYES MAN CMON

-I didnt notice he took the punisher lmao

chap 2:

-:c wolfwood having nightmares its not even a hc, IT IS CANON

-NOT THE FLASHBACK OF VASH CRYING BLOOD OUCH NO PLS NO

-:c im not even mad at wolfwood calling vash a monster cuz it must be fucking TERRIFYING but it still hurts :c

-you could...but youre not gonna

-"so yeah you cant be there for every problem in the pla- HOLD UP WHERE ARE YOU GOING"

-lmao meryl is like me fr

-this time i got most of the fight but i think we can all agree the mpv was the table

chap 3

-YEY LEGATO IN THE.....metal handbag?

-YES ELENDIRA FUCKING READ HIM

-OH MY GOD HES HERE HES HERE OH GOD NO

-i remember i was so confused i didnt realize THATS HIS FUCKING TONGUE

-also did double fang kill trail of death?

chap 4:

-OH I LOVE THIS SCENE SM. i also hate walking in a place with a shit ton of people

-YES IT IS BABY, THATS THE SAME CHILD YOU [so so redacted] WOOOOOOOOO (i love this chapter)

-oh...yeah that...oh

-"we cant survive without her power, neither can you" dude...dont...just dont

-ah yes. the hair. yeap. just a cool artistic decision. yeap.

-also i forgot how fucked up the last run was here

-oh he felt it, i saw that in his eye

-oh so he also went apeshit....ohhhhh. ok so if vash went apeshit cuz of a physical fight or flight reaction (I THINK) did knives go apeshit cuz of hate? the physical need to kill people in revenge? nice

-BRO WDYM "why not just end this crusade?" YOU JUST SAW WHY HE WOULD NEVER END IT

-oh that was his last straw. one thing is him being tricked by a human but that lie affecting his brother? the one thing he's trying to protect (yes ik he's not doing the greatest job at it) from humans? yeah no you gotta die

chap 5:

-NO. NO. NONONONONONON NOT THIS CHAPTER NO

-I HATE THE METAPHOR ALREADY (i love it. i want to yell at nightow my thoughts about it. i will never be normal about it)

-pls no. im begging you. pls dont make me read this again. this is when my sanity starts to break into little raggedy pieces of paper

-i just notices this change happens cuz he got HIS MEMORIES BACK WHAT IF I ENDED IT ALL

-i dont want to read anymore

-its just. so fucking hard. like ik we say hes jesus. but at the same time jesus never felt like that. jesus was born without sin but in vash's eyes he is full of sins and no one can forgive him. bro, honey, god would forgive you anything. you are his favorite im sure. but no matter the arguments for the allegory vash can never be jesus cuz he carries the pain of his "sins" everyday PLUS THE ONES FROM THE HUMANS. idk. im sad and tired. my baby. its ok i forgive you. and im sure rem forgives him. im sure. im sad

-anyway, back to the kinda normal thoughts

-also i think vash thinking he has to forgive himself is kinda flawed. like instead of forgiveness he has to accept what happened and i think those are different things. ofc yeah july was messed up but he never intended to do it. idk

-ANYWAY

-huh, those speakers look like eyes

-cant even swallow in misery in peace anymore lmao

-:c not the day drinking

-i think thats vash talking but yeah....nothing is easy for my guy. hes kinda right, better than crying ig...

-i prefer spike-isms but i will also take needle noggin-isms thank u

-that man can move in such unnatural ways *hears the uncanny vash people cheer at a distance*

-oof, the ptsd got meryl

-also the question is not whether vash was going to take the bullet or not, the real question is how hard does that question makes me cry

- SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP

-OOF, i mean i 100% get meryl but OOF

-also YES THATS WHAT I FUCKING MEAN. AND I READ THIS ON [redacted] A FEW WEEKS AGO. THE BALANCE BETWEEN EXTREMES ITS JUST NULL, ITS NOT A COLOR AT ALL. his love and faith in humanity vs the pain they cause him...that balance creates a colorless emotion and IM SAD ABOUT IT.

-i hate that final page. i fucking hate milly protecting meryl from her memories while comforting her while protecting her from the rocks, i hate the people still insult vash even when he was long gone, i hate to see the children who saw the same thing as their parents try to convince them to stop because they know vash would never hurt people on purpose only to be ignored..and more than anything i hate vash apologizing for something he has no control over.

-ALSO I ALSO FEEL LIKE CRYING VASH-

[let it be on the record that i needed a minute to continue with the volume]

chap 6:

-OH NO IT STARTS

-"how could i have known?" youre telling me you spent years studying yourself and other plants and never saw one with black hair? really? (im not saying its a plot hole, im saying he was too distracted being a dick)

-so that was his imagination im assuming

-TESLA MENTION WE WIN

-OH GOD OH NO PLS GET ME OUT OF HERE NO PLS NOT THIS

-i love her dialogue with the funny glasses lmao, she really was the only mom ever

-oh..here come the tears

-oh right..they used to be like this

-oh...oh god

[katie5000]

Ok, here's episode 7 from OP's blog. This one didn't piss me off quite as much.

One comment was on how Wolfwood and Vash don’t need to become friends since it is Wolfwood’s job to take Vash to Knives.  That is totally correct - however, the ‘98 anime and manga both make it a point that Wolfwood and Vash become friends as it adds to their character development.

And I still think they're gonna go in this direction. Be patient. There's three or four episodes left, at least in this season.

The episode starts off with everyone panicking as the Sandsteamer is off course and under attack.  And it is heading straight for Hopeland.  Cue Wolfwood panic even further!  The map labels the Hopeland Orphanage but the dialogue indicates it is also a town.

There was a small town at the base of the cliff in the prior episode's flashback.

Honestly, it would have been best to label it as the town of Hopeland and note it has an orphanage through context than making that the key landmark.

That's fair.

The original stated that the Church orphanage is located 300 iles from December according to Wolfwood.

It did. But again, this series is not that series.

Again, the fight sequence between Wolfwood and Livio is brutal and the July MPs remark that the two of them are monsters.

Well, yeah. What would you think if you grew up knowing nothing about Lost Tech or weird cults, and then found yourself watching two men with overpowered guns shoot the shit out of each other only to immediately heal themselves right after? They understandably noped the fuck out of there.

While this is happening, the Bad Lads gang is raiding the Sand steamer and not really doing that much honestly.  They are doing a hit and run.  No B.D.N. - personal sadness.

I have to admit, I was also disappointed that he wasn't there. I thought for sure that there would be a standoff between he and Vash while Wolfwood fought with Livio.

We had more 2D flashbacks about them and Wolfwood is resolved to take him out by insulting him and pretending him like he does care.

You mean "pretending like he doesn't care." Otherwise this sentence makes no sense.

Anyway, Wolfwood is trying to steel his resolve to do something that he doesn't want to do, but feels he has to do.

...when he goes to shoot him at point blank range, his shot is knocked off course and destroys Zazie’s monitoring insect. This is where he turns to Vash in shock, since this is one of the few times Vash has fired his gun in the entire series...

And now that Wolfwood knows that the insect was there, it becomes clear to him why Livio was there - meeting him was no coincidence.

Vash keeps pushing him to try to find a way to connect with Livio...

And Wolfwood listens. Wolfwood watches Livio change the magazine in his gun using a characteristic flick of his wrist. There is a flashback that shows kid Wolfwood doing this same thing with a cigarette lighter to show off for kid Livio. Kid Livio is impressed and attempts it himself, but can't do it. In the present, Wolfwood takes out his cigarette lighter and flips it the same way, in an attempt to connect with Livio again. It works, at least partially.

But all of the brainwashing from the Eye of Michael kicks in and he staggers about pointing his guns at Roberto, Meryl, Vash and Wolfwood . . . before he snaps and shoots himself in the head and falls off the steamer.

Okay, I have to admit this shocked me the first time I saw it.

Wolfwood is clearly concerned and looks over the railing and notices a car that he knows is likely Legato and others. 

..."Clearly concerned?" Wolfwood is freaking distraught - even he's not sure that Livio could heal from a head wound. But yeah, he sees that car, and that just confirms that none of it was coincidence.

Legato...state[s] that Wolfwood’s ‘lack of faith’ is an issue and in order to get him to serve Knives better they need to destroy everything he cares about; Livio and the orphanage. Once Wolfwood no longer has these important connections, it will be no problem to control him...

Jesus Christ, OP, and you were saying just last week that you missed Legato's sadistic tendencies. Well, there they are.

...In the last episode we already had Legato establish that this version of Wolfwood has a very strong will and attachment to others...

And this is what Legato is trying to break. Legato had nothing as a broken man himself until Knives came along, and then Knives became his everything. Now he assumes that if he can get Wolfwood into a state where he has absolutely nothing as a broken man, then he will make Knives his everything as well.

What is throwing me for a loop is that Legato is the ‘religious’ one in this version.  That was squarely Wolfwood’s thing in the manga and ‘98 anime.

Not necessarily. In Trimax, Legato says that when Knives spared him and allowed him to tag along after destroying the town he lived in, he was "born anew" or "born again" - an interesting choice of words.

He seems to (based on his dialogue) believe that faith in something is greater than emotions.  Yet, in this episode, we do get some actual anger from him in his voice as well as a more sinister facial expression indicating our bad boy has emotions.

Legato wants to believe that his faith is all he needs, and that everything else (including emotion) is unimportant. But I would imagine that from time to time he "slips" and his emotions get the better of him - he is not as "devout" as he'd like to be.

(Incidentally, this is probably the "good word" that Legato talks about wanting to spread - if one just has enough faith, one doesn't need anything else anymore. Not emotions, not attachments, not anything. However, this line of thinking only serves to betray Legato's underlying trauma and mental instability.)

He seems to be going through somewhat villain motions...

What do you mean, "somewhat"?? He's absolutely going through "villain" motions. Everything he's done so far has been villainous.

I’m also missing his Knives worship.  We have no indication that he’s a man craving validation from a person he’s obsessed with.  Granted, we didn’t get that early on either, but he made it clear he was there for Knives’ agenda.

I mean, he's made that clear here, too. Legato outright states in the previous episode that Wolfwood will be the "Punisher" of heretics in Knives' noble plan, and you even said yourself, OP, that Legato is trying to destroy everything Wolfwood cares about so that he will serve Knives better.

As for Knives worship, well. The official website quite literally states in Legato's character profile that he worships Knives like a god - just because we haven't seen it yet doesn't mean it's not there at all. I have a feeling that we'll be seeing Legato interact more directly with Knives soon.

Part 2.

[alena-reblobs]

Trigun Bookclub Trimax Vol14 Part 1

Vol01: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Vol02: Part 1 | Part 2

Trimax: Vol01 Part 1Vol01 Part 2 | Vol02 Part 1Vol02 Part 2 | Vol 03 Part 1 | Vol03 Part2 | Vol04 Part1 | Vol04 Part2 | Vol05 | Vol06 | Vol07 | Vol08 Part1 | Vol08 Part2 | Vol09 Part1 | Vol09 Part2 | Vol10 Part1 | Vol10 Part2 | Vol10 Part3 | Vol10 Part4 | Vol11 Part 1 | Vol11 Part2 | Vol12 Part1 | Vol12 Part2 | Vol12 Part3 | Vol13 Part1 | Vol13 Part2 | Vol13 Part3 | Vol14 Part1

I don't wanna do this, but I have to! Aaah Chapter 1 is already killing meee. This will be long, probably only 2 chapters per post...because I need to save every picture!

Chapters 1 and 2 review under the cut!

It's early Vash! And everybody is smiling and happy...even Knives!! Just imagine what this manga would be like if it was a story about two alien boys helping out the humans on a strange planet with their fun and weird powers and shenanigans. The Office style, Knives looking sceptically into the camera while you can hear Vash shuffling around in the background and crashing things. Then even Knives has to laugh when he sees something funny outside of the camera view.

Chapter 1:

Alas, we are a manga with a darker story so hmm let's get on with it.

Loving Vash's little "haha no you haven't" :D And then trying to backtrack.

And again, we're getting Vash's thoughts...so very few moments throughout the whole series that every time it feels special and monumental. And this, it's...it feels like in this world full of bandits killing would be such a meaningless act, nothing to really ponder about. I mean, go on Vash, defend yourself, if the others die in the process it's not your fault! But he doesn't. And I really like that he's not being portrayed as this cool gunman that kills 5 bad guys with one bullet or smth, but he's defying every rational way of living under these surroundings to follow his belief.

The fight between Legato and Vash looks awesome and a lot is happening which I don't follow haha! But here I was thinking maybe Legato is pulling all those debris stuff that falls from above (the spaceship?) down on Vash with his powers, so that Vash's feathers are momentarily distracted with defending himself, and in the meantime Legato can get closer!

I really can't recall what happens with Chronica and I've read the series 2 times already...so...hope she's ok down there!

AAAH Legato you're fucked. We all love Vash when he's fun and friendly but BOY do we also like it when he's terrifying, don't we? That look!

Is it....secret shoulder pad weapon??

Get terrified, Legato.

This is such a damn cool Vash panel.

The text: Ough.

The middle panel: AAAAAH legit scary, imagine being Legato right now.

Also thi? Holy shit. He's just moving the prosthetic right through the gun. That is NOT an opponent you want to mess with. I think they are both screaming here.

(Small Elendira!! <3) Aso yeaaah ok Legato you can have a little of my sympathies. The sky looks so clear and wide and full of hope and how he's looking up at Knives..aaw dang.

Get crushed, Legato....this is the most brutal we've ever seen Vash be towards someone, isn't it? In terms of purposefully inflicting wounds.

What a cool change of emotion in this scene!! Legato really wants to die and he finally...sounds and looks at rest? And the moment he realises Vash won't do it, it's just pure anger. This is such a cool scene!! And Vash looks so conflicted!! He wants this fight to be over...but he cannot give up on his way of living.

Vash panel for the collection ♥ (and I kinda get where Legato is coming from.

Savage page....

(in any other scenario that Elendira/Livio blob could be a sexy pose but Nightow had to make one dead and both with a nail stuck through their torso)

Also the image of Elendira and Livio swooshing with high speed through the battlefield to Legato's place...how many poor citizen will be haunted by this picture for the rest of their live??

Because why you would want to work with someone, why you deem someone important, is only based upon their usefulness, right? Hmm, Legato? Mister I-need-to-be-useful-to-Knives?

Just imagine me screaming along with Vash here.

AAAHJDDAD BUUUHUHUHU that...that is Wolfwood in Vash's memory. Smiling, proud, upright, looking forward....aaaah buhuhuu. As I've said in an earlier chapter recap, I tend to overlook the fact that Vash and Wolfwood do NOT have the chance of a future together because of all the fics and art I see and think about, but pages like these always slap me back into reality. Thanks! Damnit.

*making the Cowboy Bebop pose* Baang.

Chapter 2:

Someone wrote smth about this being Wolfwood's ghost talking to Livio. It could be Razlo? Probably not! I'll wait for later in the volume with the other scene to write my thoughts about that.

Savage page...Overkill indeed (Interestingly enough, the "Overkill" title can also refer to what the earth has planned with their attack on Knives!)

And immediately breaking down

I wonder what the meaning is of Vash's coat turning red again. The black was thought to represent to last of his powers being used. But he's not gained any more powers, so was it also a sign of the pressure Legato put on him? Him being cornered, resisting the urge to kill until..he finally couldn't?

Also somebody else already wrote a post lots of weeks ago about how Vash, who lived his whole life after his firm believe to not kill, killed one person in the end for Wolfwood. Because he couldn't bear to let Wolfwood's death be in vain. A life for a life, but one life was indefinitely more important to Vash than the other. And, it's such a cruel story, but I love it. I love it because there's no moral to take from it. Because Vash as the main protagonist does not keep his higher moral ground by never pruposefully killing anyone. And it doesn't matter if it's Legato or a less evil person, the reader has learned throughout this series that this isn't important (and to Vash makes no difference) because a life is a life. Trigun isn't a story where the good people can always do good stuff because sometimes, life doesn't let you. It's just...a story. Shit stuff happens. Good stuff happens. The only thing that is permanent is the hope for the days to go on somehow. I'm getting sentimental before I'm even at the last chapters.

Nightow serving double punch after double punch! Of course now Vash has to get sad as he realizes how much his words must have hurt Wolfwood...and he can't take them back anymore. He can't apologize anymore! And we know they hurt Wolfwood because he's been often enough thinking about them. (But it was also these words that made Wolfwood get up, because he could NOT be a coward, he did NOT want to give up hope) Fuck, these two.

Yeah, I imagine it wasn't that much of a difficult decision for the earth government, sitting far far away, dooming some humans on some distant planet out there.

Silly Vash face!!

Turning them around so I can get a better look at these boys...the way Livio is broken up about this, he KNOWS what it must have meant to Vash. That Vash would take such a sacrifice for him (and for Wolfwood, by that)...I doubt he'd ever thought smb would sacrifice so much for him. Vash just earned himself a sworn brother for forever!

Meryl, who has seen so many memories from Vash's past, maybe she can grasp best what this means for Vash. And finally...finally this is the moment where someone will take some burden from him! And cradle him a bit, Meryl :( That man needs him. While he's laying in your lap, stroke his cheek, comb through his hair, wipe away some of the blood...someone please be soft to him and Meryl, you're the perfect one for the job.

Mr Vance has risen in my esteem!

Aah I have reached my image limit, but I wanted to post the last image with the feather...well. On towards the next chapters!! This will be a long read through but I really enjoy taking my time with this last volume. Gotta do it justice.

[ashdoesfandomarchieved]

Two Bisexuals Are Your Co-Captains

ao3

“I solved racism,” Mariner says, kicking open the ready room door. This should not be physically possible, as doors have progressed past the need to be opened, and are, in fact, automatic.

Boimler, whose face is currently one with the synthetic wooden desk, gives her a thumbs up but doesn’t move beyond that.

“Okay, I lied, I didn’t solve racism,” Mariner admits. “It’s still a problem in our galaxy. But, I did solve our captain problem!” she tries. This does get Boimler to remove his face from it’s fixture on the desk.

“You did?” he blinks up at her, creases in his face from where it had been smooshed against the hard surface.

Mariner dumps an honest-to-god paper file on his desk. “Check it out, twink.”

Boimler swipes the file, frowning as nothing happens when he taps it. Mariner helps him out, flipping the cover over. “So there’s this really nifty rule back from like 2039 that allows for two acting captains to co-pilot the ship simultaneously.”

“Are you serious?” Boimler groans.

“As Legato Infection,” Mariner confirms. “It was apparently instated for missions where the crew is like. Separated or some shit and need more than one captain coordinating. Because Starfleet was also part of the air force for a while, co-captains were basically just co-pilots. Like this was a whole thing. But it got overwritten with the First Officer Act of 2048 that instated First Officers as a fill in instead of a co-captain, able to make decisions and delegate, but it was never technically outlawed. Meaning…”

“We could technically take advantage of the loophole and-”

“Co-Captains!” Mariner punches the air. “You know what this means?”

Boimler blinks at her blankly. Beckett applauds herself over the alliteration, as she throws an arm over his shoulder. “It’s our ship,” she whispers dramatically, already envisioning the communist flags with selfies of her and Boimler printed on them.

“Or it could just be your ship,” Boimler says, fear in his eyes.

Beckett grabs his collar, dragging him up to eye level. “Our ship.”

________

“Beckett no,” Freeman says flatly. Ever since The Incident--the one where the ship was overrun with the Pakleds that took out the entirety of senior command--she’s been in medbay, wrapped up in so many bandages she looks like a mummy from one of those really old movies Boimler is obsessed with.

“Beckett yes ,” Mariner says, taking a slurp of her cherry limeade slurpee. “You named me First Officer!”

“Then why does Boimler-”

“Ransom also named him First Officer!”

“So your brain jumped to Co-Captains ?” Mariner can’t see her mom’s expression, but from her squinty eyes she’s pretty sure it’s disapproving. “That is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard of.”

“You can’t call your daughter dumb!” Mariner throws her hands up in the air.

“Mariner, you’re dumb.”

“That’s against parent rules! Everything I do is supposed to be a fucking delight!”

Freeman turns her judgy eyes to Boimler, who had been staring off into the middle distance, probably traumatized by all of the shrieking the mother and daughter duo had been doing since they entered medbay. Whatever, it’s not Mariner’s fault that her mom’s kneejerk reaction to her daughter charging into medbay with a bat'leth and no shirt on was to shriek like a goddamn banshee.

“You know what,” Freeman says, eyes locked on Boimler. “I’m already having a bad fucking week. Go ahead, make it worse I dare you .”

“Uhm-”

“We absolutely will do that,” Beckett promises, crossing her heart.

_____

“ ATTENTION ALL PERSONAL ,” Mariner says, over the ship’s speakers. D’Vana, from her position at the First Officer’s station, gives her a Disappointed Look. Mariner gives her a thumbs up back.

“ DUE TO OUR EXCRUCIATING CIRCUMSTANCES AND THE LACK OF COMMUNICATION BETWEEN YOUR FORMER CAPTAIN AND HER FIRST OFFICER, ENSIGN BOIMLER AND I WILL BE YOUR CO-CAPTAINS TONIGHT. OR FOREVER, WE HAVEN’T DECIDED YET.”

“Mariner, what are you doing?” Boimler says, storming onto the Bridge. Mariner, who had hacked the Bridge speakers to play Demi Lovato’s Confident every time Boimler entered, is pleased to note that nobody had figured out how to turn that off yet. Unfortunately for her, however, Boimler didn’t recognize his girlboss powers, and had been yelling at her every time it happened.

“I’m letting the ship know about our change in command, oh Co-Captain of mine,” Mariner says over the booming bass and Demi Lovato’s dulcet tones. In the corner of her eye, the vulcan side character that everyone thought was a Cool Guy, bopped his head to the music.

Boimler sighs, pressing his palms into his eyes. “So we’re actually doing this?”

“Dude, I already made us friendship jackets. That shit had a no refunds policy.” She pulls a leather jacket that had been draped over their helmsman's head--bad for ship navigation, but good for dramatic effect--and throws it at Boimler. Boimler unfolds the pink monstrosity, sighing deeply at the neon-yellow glitter words Gatekeep Girlboss Gaslight emblazoned on the back.

“Is this really necessary?”

“It’s ABSOLUTELY necessary,” Mariner says, standing up. She turns around, showing Boimler her purple jacket which says Malewife Mansplain Manipulate in snot-green glitter.

“HOW DOES THAT MATCH.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW DOES THAT MATCH.” Her voice echoes strangely, alerting her to the fact that the shipwide comms are still in use. She reaches over, flicking the switch off and turns back to Boimler, hands on her hips. “Is this an anxiety thing again? Do you need to go back on medication?”

“I don’t need to be on meds!”

“Then why won’t you wear our super secret special jackets!”

“Because mine is hot pink and says girlboss on the back!”

Mariner lets out a gasp. “Are you saying... Boimler are you adhering to GENDER ROLES?”

“No-no stop it -”

“You! You of ALL PEOPLE-”

“Mariner, cut it out!”

“LET IT BE KNOWN THAT BRAD BOIMLER IS A-”

Boimler pulls the jacket on so violently that he somehow elbows himself in the eye. The pink really does go with his hair-which Mariner knows for a fact he dyes himself every three weeks. “There! Happy?”

“So so happy.” Mariner hands him a martini from the tray she had brought in and nailed to the arm of the captain’s chair. The one she hands to Boimler has a rainbow umbrella in it. “So, first order of business. I think we need car seats for short people.”

“Excuse me.”

Mariner picks up her own martini glass and takes a chug, choking on the strawberry chunks she had grinded into it a few minutes before Boimler got here. “You know, car seats? That shit you put babies in because cars are a danger to humanity but we keep buying them? I think the shorties on this ship deserve some protection.”

Boimler drains his glass. “Fine, whatever, I don’t even care anymore.”

______

Mariner is commissioning the previously mentioned communist flags with hers and Boimler’s faces printed on them, when Tendi comes into the ready room. She is wearing the face of complete and utter defeat that everyone else had been wearing since the Co-Captains had been instated. Mariner insists it’s because they’re sad that she and Boimler wouldn’t get to be captains forever. Boimler says it’s because everyone’s writing their suicide notes to their familes.

“Mariner, we need to talk,” Tendi says, using the opening line to every break up Mariner’s been a part of and seen on tv. Which is really weird because she didn’t think she and Tendi were in a relationship.

“I’m all ears,” Mariner says, which is a dumb fucking line because clearly she isn’t , but people say that all the time.

“I don’t want to be your First Officer,” Tendi says, crossing her arms. “It was fun for the first week, but after you made it mandatory to do the Macarena during the first ten minutes of each hour, morale has been down.”

“Hmm,” Mariner pets Boimler’s therapy cat, Dishwasher, thoughtfully. “Okay, I’ll make that one optional. Any other requests?”

Tendi sighs. “No,” she admits. “To be honest, the ship is running at 98%, which is the highest any ship in Starfleet has ever run. I think Brad orgasmed when he heard about that.”

“You call him Brad ?” Mariner stares up at her friend, aghast.

“That’s his name?”

“Yeah, and his cat’s name is Dishwasher , but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea to call her that!” Dishwasher growls at her name. Mariner shushes her, hands clamped over her ears. “She turns into a murder-rage machine when you call her by her given name! How do we know Boimler isn’t the same?”

“Because I call him Brad all the time!” Tendi hisses back, throwing her hands up in the air.

“Oh my god, he’s probably serial killing as we speak. I hope you’re ready to talk to the victim’s families and let them know that their loved one’s died because you couldn’t help yourself.”

Tendi stares at Mariner for a full minute. “Resignation,” she reiterates, pointing at Mariner. “I want to be a gross ensign scrubbing the deck again. Nepotism sucks .”

“Fine, you’re demoted. Go enjoy mediocrity.”

“I will.” Tendi storms out, kicking the door shut. Which again, is completely, 100% impossible because it’s the 23rd century or whatever-Mariner’s not keeping count-and automatic doors are now a Thing.

Mariner hacks their speaker systems to play the Wii Shop Channel Music-a reliac of the past only alluded to on private groupchats and servers- to play whenever Tendi entered a room. It’s the least she could do.

______

“As your First Officer,” a reluctant Rutherford says reluctantly, “I am here to remind you that that would be a very bad idea .”

“Rutherford, who’s the boss around here?” Mariner asks, hands on her hips.

Rutherford sighs. “You.”

“And as the boss, who makes all the decisions around here?”

Another sigh. “ You .”

“Then why are you being a killjoy over my decision to get down and dirty with my Co-Captain?”

Rutherford makes a shriek-y noise, like those boys who got their testicles cut off in the old days so they could sing opera. “Mariner, I’m serious, don’t do it .”

“Is it against regulation?”

“No,” Rutherford groans. “You’re both the same rank-”

“So what’s the problem?”

“You can’t sleep with Boimler just because you can!”

“That’s not why I’m going to sleep with Boimler,” Mariner waves him off. “I was sitting on his lap the other day-”

“Oh my god -”

“-in the Captain's chair--ooh we should look into getting another one of those, TWO chairs are better than one--”

“Mariner, to the point please.”

“Oh, yeah, so I’m in his lap and I maay have backed up a little too far and bumped up against-”

“Stop literally stop .”

“Yeah, so turns out Boimler is PACKING and I gotta hop on that train, so to speak.”

“Okay, you know what?” Rutherford shoves his padd at Mariner. “I quit, I can’t do this. I want to be a lower decks ensign again.”

“Wow, you’re like, the seventeenth person this week to quit. Which, coincidentally, is exactly how long I’ve been captain.”

“Yeah, weird coincidence,” Rutherford deadpans.

_____

“I may have fucked up, Mom,” Mariner shrieks, waltzing into medbay with all the grace of a duck pulling off a white bread heist. “I think you should take captaincy back.”

Freeman, who had fully recovered two days ago, but refused to engage in the chaos Mariner was purposely causing on her ship, looks up from where she’s reclining with her long island ice tea and swimwear magazines. “Really now?”

“ Yes . All of my friends hate me and I found out Boimler has purple pubs.”

Freeman almost drops her drink. “ What .”

“Tell me about it. Don’t get me wrong, we’re still fucking, but like. Wow, I thought he dyed everything. Turns out that shit is natural.”

Freeman covers her face with one hand. “No.”

“What?”

“No, you’re keeping the ship.”

“WHAT.”

“I already spoke to your father,” Freeman gives her daughter a shark-like smile. “We agreed that this position of authority has been good for you. And, considering, the ship is running better than any ship in Starfleet since the inception of the Federation, the Admiralty wants you and Boimler to stay on.”

“ WHAT .”

“They think it’s an interesting social experiment that merits more research. Congratulations, you and your fuck-buddy are now ginnypigs.”

___

“I think, as a sign of protest, we should rename the ship,” Mariner says, draped across the desk in the ready room. Boimler, sprawled out all over the desk chair, snorts. The room has been completely revamped in pride flags and the previously mentioned communist flags. Mariner thinks it’s her best interior design work, but Boimler claims it’s an eyesore.

“What would we name it?” he asks, humoring her.

Mariner considers it, taking a swig of vodka. “Okay, hear me out. Q and Picard’s Loveboat.”

Boimler grabs the bottle out of her hand, taking a chug. “You know what? This might as well happen.”

They submit the formal request on Boimler’s padd a few minutes later and are both pleasantly-at least in Mariner’s case-surprised that it goes through. It’s likely that the guy in charge of filtering these requests is either very very bored or very very underpaid and either way Mariner likes his energy.

A few days later, they have Q AND PICARD’S LOVEBOAT stamped across the side of the ship in comic sans-a truly underappreciated font from ye olden days that Mariner dug up one night on the wayback machine.

It takes exactly four weeks for the Admiralty to catch wind of it-by then she and Boimler had been Co-Captains for almost two months-and, well, there isn’t much they can do about it.

She does receive a rather long voicemail from her dad that she promptly deletes. She’s not about that energy.

_____

“Boims, Boims, Boims,” Mariner chants, crawling into his bed. Boimler lets out a shriek as her ice cold toes slide up against his bare thigh.

“So you know how our ship got renamed so easily?” she says, once Boimler had stopped screaming. “Well, I found the dude who approved it. Nice kid, I want his gender. Anyway, looks like my dad is getting a new ship and they're getting someone to christen it.”

“Oh my god,” Boimler says faintly, turning his face into his pillow.

“I may have gotten us on the list of possible people to christen it. As in, the kid hacked the server for me and we're the only people on that list.”

Boimler looks like he's regretting everything ever. He also looks like he's kind of in love with her. Mariner inspires that kind of duality in people. “What are we going to name it?” his voice has a tinge of fear in it that both of them get off on. The kink is strong with this couple.

Mariner grins.

_______

THE DADMIRAL: ACT OF REBELLION OR GENIUS?

Ash H. Beiggs

Many of you may remember the highly criticized decision Starfleet made when instating “Co-Captains” on the starship Q and Picard’s Loveboat ( formally known as the USS CERRITOS). Well, Captains Bradward P. Boimler and Beckett E. Mariner are back with bigger and bolder headlines to make.

The chaotic young duo are renowned Federation-wide not only for running the tightest ship in Starfleet, but for their unorthodox methods. Captain Mariner in particular has been praised for her innovating thinking and usual personality. When asked about her decision to name Admiral Mariner’s ship The Dadmiral she simply claimed that “Mohammad had his mountain, Jesus had his followers and [she] had a molotov cocktail and nothing to lose.” Captain Boimler declined to comment.

The actual christening of The Dadmiral was reported as a “spectacle to behold” by many onlookers. Captain Mariner was seen streaking through the aforementioned ship, with a bottle of vodka in one hand. Her Co-Captain was not far behind her, but was reportably more restrained. The actual christening was completed by Captain Mariner who “yeeted the vodka” into the ships warp core, shouting “ One of us. One of us,” in rapid succession until she was removed by security.

Neither Admiral Mariner or Captain Freeman are available to comment at this time.

[ghosty-schnibibit]

taz liveshow liveblog :D

i cannot believe i downloaded an rss feed reader specifically for the purpose of knowing when taz updates only for it to not work, smh. at least i didn't see any spoilers lol. here we go! :D

i still really need to listen to commitment...

hells yeah, another liveshow on the 28th :D

HYPE HYPE HYPE

"don't naruto shame them" pfff

"i am prepared and a good good dnd boy!" ilu travis

this is just the "and ___ walks over to ___" scene from the finale all over again, poor griffin lol

the story hasn’t even started and already i’m feeling super nostalgic... i wanna do a fourth re-listen so bad, fuuuck

"the THREE OF YoOoU" griffin is so salty already this is gonna be good

i like crush already 

fantasy burt bacharach lol

"sleeveless tuxedo" MAGGIE

"tuxedo sleeves!" M E R L E

merle the beach dwarf in his swimmy trunks :')

he sounds like gundren omfg

LUP LUP LUP :D

THE BREAK IN MUSIC YEEEAH 

HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO GOOD AAAAAAAAAA

"played by al pachino" B)

"it's a little assertive" pfff

i love the idea of lup and taako both studying transmutation together as lil kids and lup just being like "nah, this can be your thing koko i'll be over here blowing shit up"

"greg FUCKIN grimauldes" ilu lup 

"my moral guide, merle highchurch" merle continuing to be the dad of ipre

"maybe?" IT'S YOUR HOME PLANE, YES IT PROBABLY COUNTS

FUCKIN CHARACTER VOICES

so we're looking at a null suit situation here, cool, cool

this raises so many questions though, like... could they visit other planes that got fucked over by the hunger? like the animal kingdom? taz knights? legato? would those planes have heard the story and song broadcast since they were inside the hunger at the time, or no? are they still super fucked up or are they just plugging along like they would have been otherwise? because the set up for this show implies time has passed in their home planar system after the hunger disappeared and jeffandrew put everything back in order, and that lup somehow knows that this has happened in their absence... has she used the belt before, and that’s how she knows? are the planes where they escaped with the light (fungsten, the beach, tessaralia, etc.) accessible too, or did they just get left behind in the multiverse after the hunger passed over them? i'm assuming lucas made the belts (or probably a combo of lucas and barry? planar studies nerd buddies), so how do they work? magic? bonds? what would happen if they broke mid-use? would they be stuck in their old plane with no way to get back? this is such a weird but good setup and it makes for a shit ton of fic possibilities

i have no idea what that means but it sounds bad

oh nooo, maggie, oh nooooo

"well... slam" griffin what is it with these names

aww, crush :(

i ship crush and slam

magnus what the fuck

i can't wait to see how that table flip works later lol

TAAKO ILU 

"NINETEEN!" aww travis i love you

ewwwww, this is worse than the beach episode :(((

TAAKO WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK

"old blue eyes...?" griffin said that with that 'are you sure?’ dm voice and that makes me super nervous

"i don't know 'cause i wasn't expecting him this early" i'm calling it know, griffin's either gonna do his super gruff gundren voice or his bad new jersey accent marvey voice

IT'S THE MARVEY VOICE, I CALLED IT

AND NOW IT'S JUSTIN DOING GRIFFIN'S MARVEY VOICE

NAT 20!!! :D

"THE REAL NICE CHOICE MOPS" I’M DEAD

they never would have thought to do that on their own lol, lup playing the part of competent woman this adventure

continuing the trend of magnus being mr. fanservice lol

"lots of beautiful scars" nice

okay i have to know tho... was the tattoo pre or post stolen century??? because i love the idea of it being something he got in his youth without realizing he'd be stuck with it for 100+ years, but i also love the idea of him and julia getting matching tattoos together at some point

MERLE WHAT THE FUCK

"I CAST PUNCH DAD" 

"WheEeEREe?"

lup and taako just chilling in the corner playing pokemon go

magnus turns himself in samus lol

clint continuing to be the worst at rolling, aww

"i had no muber prepared for... this" poor griffin lol

"it... worked?" pfff

IS THAT CATWALK BOY JERALD

okay, it's not catwalk boy jerald then :T 

good to see griffin's not defaulting straight to jerry like he always does lol

wait shit, if they're in their original plane... is terry gonna recognize them from the IPRE mission???

"GEORGE CLUVEY" 

TAAKO WHAT THE FUCK

"THE THIEVERY KID" T A A K O

this is just like jenkins with the voice lol

merle doing his accidentally insincere voice again

"oh shit we did do this in the mining one” did griffin forget his own puzzle?

oh no... this can't be good

#I'mWithTerry

are you really casting arcane eye for this taako?

T U R K E Y  B O Y

clint the pun master strikes again

i take it griffin’s been playing evil within 2 with the whole chip mechanic

"i could kill him" MERLE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

welp, they're all dead :T

BARRY WITH FUCKIN HOT CHOCOLATE, I’M D Y I N G

LUP I FUCKIN LOVE YOU HOLY SHIT

"THAT'S MY SISTER!" TAAKO ILU

"my words are my pictures!" griffin you are precious

this is the tomb of horrors all over again with the puzzles

justin's killing it today witht the nat 20s damn

"rouge perversions" pfff

all i can imagine is magnus telling carey about his sweet chest trap diffusal later and her being proud of her bff

travis the music boy strikes again!

oh jesus this is going to take a million years

"it's not the letters" then what is it?

i’m a dipshit too than lol because i have zero idea what this is

so it's just like the scene form the bank in refuge

GO MERLE! :D

"yeah, elevators, fuck yeah" nice

so now magnus just has a workshop full of gold :/

GLASS SHARK, GLASS SHARK

“NOT SOMETHING MY DAD SHOULD KNOW ABOUT” PFFFFF

"oh fuck" my thoughts exactly travis

OH SHIT 

OH CHIRST IT'S LIKE UPSY MECH

LUUUUUP FUCK YEAH, THERE'S MY GIRL :D

i missed the ad break music :')

i can't fuckin wait til the candlenights show omg

yay, initiative time!

DELLA!!!!! :D

what would that even look like holy fuck

yikes holy shit, can't wait to see how lup reacts to her brother getting dunked on so badly 0 _ 0

MAGGIE YOU CANNOT RAILSPLITER THIS SHIT IT’S NOT AN ACTUAL TREE, THIS HAS BEEN FIRMLY ESTABLISHED

apparently he CAN railspliter that shit, nevermind :o

awww, this is so freakin cute omg ^u^

"that's taako's fire" maggie plz :T

i thought his ac went up after story and song though?

taako's gonna fucking die holy shit

YES YOU CAN TAAKO YOU DUMBASS

"but he WAS at magnus's bedside" FUCK NOW I'M SAD :’(

"WHO, LUP?" STOP ZAGGING ON PLANT DAD

"as a sentient being who want's to preserve it's own life" pfff

griffin always forgets to make enemies beefy enough for magnus and/or taako to not kill instantly lmao

everyone loves lup so much lol

SAME HAT? SAME HAT! SAME HAT...

"awww... no, no... do i have to specify?" i love the idea that merle would be tempted to heal the monster, he’s such a sweety

OH SHIT

OH FUCK MAGNUS’S IS TOAST

I T ' S  T H E  S E X  N U M B E R ! ! !

"what? chicken butt" griffin ilu

yikes trav holy fuck

YAY WORD PICTURE TIME

YEEEAH THAT'S SO FUCKIN GOOD, THAT'S SOME GOOD SHIT

"COTTON!" omg you silly boy

what are you about to do merle

ZONE OF TRUTH YEEEEEAH

clint is crushing it on the merle voice today

"i liked the ending of lost" pfff

WHAT THE FUCK MAGNUS, WHAT THE FUCK

WAIT WHAT

TERRY HOLY SHIT

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK

GRIFFIN WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD

that was super feckin good omg, i loved every minute of that. that was exactly what i needed to de-stress before my world history final tomorrow, gods bless