#I DON'T WANNA TAG ALL OF THEM . do I give them a joint tag. What on earth do I make it tho

[greenlanterns-light]

gyro wants me dead argopro wants me dead everyone wants me dead. can't take this shit anymore

[steddieas-shegoes]

i could listen all night

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is wanting to hear every detail of their day'

rated t | 803 words | cw: recreational drug use (weed) | tags: established relationship, stargazing, they're so in love

💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟💟

"And it's not even that I'm worried about failing the test!" Steve said as he leaned back against the wall of their too-small balcony. "I did a practice test yesterday and only missed one question. I just feel like it's too easy."

"I think you're just smarter than you give yourself credit for, Stevie," Eddie said as he exhaled smoke.

"I don't think that's it."

Eddie rolled his eyes fondly.

They didn't love their apartment. It was on the third floor of a three story townhome that seemed to be a revolving door of large families who couldn't make rent after a couple of months. They'd get close to someone on the first floor and they'd be evicted two months later. They'd finally have a quiet neighbor below them only to find out it was an old man who was moved to a nursing home a month after moving in.

But they at least had this balcony that faced a parking lot of some business that was empty and closed by the time they needed to smoke.

And when Steve graduated, they could move closer to whatever school he ended up working at.

"What if I don't graduate?" Steve asked quietly, reaching out for the joint Eddie had just taken a third pull off of. "What if I'm doing all this for nothing?"

Eddie turned to Steve as much as he could, covered his hand in comfort. "If anyone knows what it's like not to graduate, it's me. And it's not the end of the world. It may feel like it at first, but just because you don't do it when you think you should doesn't mean you won't ever. You're smart and you work hard, sunshine, you're gonna graduate."

"You have to say that. You're my boyfriend."

"I don't have to say anything! I told you just this morning that you were stupid if you thought I wasn't gonna wake up just to kiss you goodbye," Eddie pecked his cheek and took the join back from him.

He knew Steve got emotional if he smoked too much, and he'd already reached the glassy eye part of the high. Better to stop him now.

"Other than your professor scaring you, what happened today?" Eddie asked casually. He wanted to hear about everything, and Steve liked talking about it.

"I had the best cup of tea. The library was giving free cups to students who donated $1 to the writer's club. So I guess it wasn't really free, but still, $1 for the best cup of tea I've ever had isn't bad." Steve leaned his head on Eddie's shoulder. "I studied for an hour between classes and saw these two women making out. One was like, a lot older than the other and I'm almost certain she was a professor with a student. Don't know what that's about."

Eddie raised his brows, but stayed quiet as Steve continued.

"And then I managed to eat my sandwich after my second class. Best one you've made yet. Perfect ham to turkey ratio," Steve kissed his neck.

"Glad you liked it, sweetheart."

"Oh! And there's gonna be a student run show next Friday. I get two free tickets if you wanna go. Maybe we could make it a date night?"

"I think that sounds lovely. Write it on the fridge and I'll make sure I'm home in time to get ready for it," Eddie took one last drag from the joint before putting it out in the ash tray he grabbed from the flea market downtown when they first moved in. "Anything else today?"

"I got to sit outside and look at the stars with my boyfriend. That's been pretty nice," Steve whispered.

Eddie felt his cheeks heat up, never quite used to how easily Steve shared his love and affection. He'd been like that before they were even together, overwhelmingly honest.

"Was he good company?" Eddie teased, leaning his head on top of Steve's and looking up at the few stars they could see in the city.

"He's always good company."

Eddie kissed the top of Steve's head and settled back.

"What about your day?" Steve asked, sinking further into his side.

"My day was boring." Eddie sighed. "But we have new releases hitting the shelves tomorrow. Those days are always fun."

"Any you want?" Steve sounded tired.

It was barely eight at night, but the weed was hitting and he'd been up since five that morning going nonstop.

"Might grab this local band's demo. We're the only place carrying it and they're hoping to do a show in our basement next month, but we'll see. Brad said we had to see how the demos sell."

"Sounds like fun," Steve said.

"You wanna go inside, sweetheart?"

"Not yet. Keep talking. Wanna hear about everything."

"Mkay, baby."

[edai-crplpnk]

Hello (:

Mind if you share some list of KankuKiba favorites fics of yours? Or where can I find some recommendations? Suddenly I wanna read about them but I don’t wanna filter them by kudos or # comments on AO3. Feel free sharing of your own jobs.

(You can omit this of course) Thank you! Have a nice day.

Of course! I haven't been reading a lot lately so all the fics I have to mention are a bit old, and maybe you know them already, and also maybe there are more recent gems that I don't know about, but I've got those.

Thirst, by kranquro

60k words, canonverse, action and pining

Kiba and Kankurou work on a joint mission in the Land of Wind and pine for each other while Kankurou is meant to be arranged marriage very soon. Lots of tension (sexual, but really not just that). I really like their dynamic, it's funny, it's angsty, it's hot, it's nuanced and real. The more plot and mission part is really well built too and intersects with the pining in a very well balanced way, love it.

(Note: There's also a little sequel in the series that is nice!)

20 Tracks - Kankuro collection, by shadowstrangle

65k words, canonverse, a bit of action and a lot of romance

Our little internalised homophobia and alcohol abuse Kankurou treat. I can never turn down one of those. Kankurou's very far into the closet when Kiba sort of busts the door open, I suppose. It's a lot about Kankuro figuring that out and the two of them being cute, but there is also some political plot around the political consequences of Kankurou being gay. There are some scenes that have really stuck with me hard.

If I had a criticism it would be that I'm not wholly fond of the trope of Konoha being super liberal and Suna being super conservative and that the political side of things is sometimes a bit simplistic in that area. But it's still nice, it has still surprised me in good and subtle ways in its development, so still a fic I love.

(Note: It comes with read-along songs that are great, and that's what made me want to do the same thing for Haemorrhage!)

Blanket Retrieval Arc, by HelloThereGhoul

25k words, modern college au, mostly fluff

Kiba and Kankurou live in the same college dorm and stumble upon each other. Classic meet cute. They're sweet and funny and crushing babies. Very soft, I thoroughly enjoyed it, several times.

(Note: The fic is technically abandonned? The author said they had plans for more and stopped, but it's written up to the point when they get together and it doesn't feel like it's lacking an ending to me.)

Time to heal, by Lycka

110k words, modern au, figuring out relationships and trauma

Kankurou and Kiba meet at a time where Kankurou is looking over Gaara who is in rehab. They start dating a bit but Kankurou initially identifies as ace and it causes a lot of doubts and questions about how that could work out between them.

It's not in the tags and there's no warning so I feel like I need to add it: there are mentions and non-graphic memories of incest and one other instance of sexual assault in it.

This one is a bit of a wild card. The author's note mentioned that it was their first time writing in English and that the first chapter was not representative of their current writing. So I decided to give it a go and trust that it would improve over the course of the fic, which it really did. This fic has really good scenes that I've reread a bunch of times, but : 1 It's true that the first chapters are really not at the level of the ones down the road so you have to be willing to work with that. 2 It becomes quite KankuKiba centric, but it starts GaaNaru centric, there is also a bit of SasuNaru and a bit of SakuTema. 3 It's abandoned, but the author left a last chapter to summarise the plot that they didn't write up until the end and the KankuKiba part of the fic is not what is left hanging.

Overall, some interesting and good things, but a lot of variety in both quality and content. I've read it once whole, and I'm very happy I did, and then several times just the (KankuKiba) parts that I was really involved in.

While I'm here I will briefly do a little self-promo recap of my own KankuKiba stuff but let it be know it's almost exclusively smut. They're just like that.

I have a series of KankuKiba kinky T4T smut. Canonverse. Shino is also involved in some. I hope to write non-smut in this AU eventually (mostly just pregnant Kankurou fluff), but I have none yet.

I have a modern AU with KankuKiba in a polycule (KankuKiba, KibaShino, ShinoHina). There is a bunch of smut, and a long fic about them getting together that I have yet to finish. I started it two years ago so I too am a bit insecure about my old writing in it, but I love this AU a lot so I still hope to finish it eventually. I update sporadically.

And finally, I have a KankuKiba hook-up fic in my beloved other modern AU. I have ideas to write them again in this AU, maybe not even smut, but I don't know when that'll happen.

That's it for this time I think! Thank you for asking, I hope you will like them. (Anyone passing around this post please feel free to reblog with your own rec!!)

[l3m0ngal5]

Mafia au

"So how to go guys" I smiled at My Returning friends Vasilia Pushed a foil wrapped something In my hands " Good news , benjamin , its a sandwich shop" heath stepped forward and cut her off Causing the freakishly tall woman to Stare daggers into her Equally Tall friend " It turns out he knows an old friend of mine and he's just some ex Dinosaur Bone specialist" The final one of the theey members who volunteered was Mara and all she did was had Me a picture Was only one word living her mouth "grumpy" The free of them Left . I looked down at the picture he What's good looking! And he made sandwiches I smiled at the concept I never really believed in Soul mates but he was checking all the boxes as I giggled I bit into the Panini And I was suddenly in heaven The flavors Wher mixing into Each other bouncing and changing Beautifuly. " You ain't got a name tag" I smiled the true is .I knew his name I just needed to hear it " I don't like strangers knowing my name" My smile didn't waver I like a challenge " mines benny, benny sharp" He rolled his orange brown eyes I watch them glint from side to side The light trying to hide behind the black Glasses that adorned his face " You're not gonna leave me alone till I tell you" With a sigh he finally caved " Champagne mcgreger" My Smile widened at the win As I loudly told him that He Was now on my top ten list of names" He groaned And yet a smile was hidden behind it I'm with that.I knew I was gonna show up every week and I did I talk about robot and he'd talk about His old Job " One of them actually tried to put the tail joint into a leg once" I could go into my sandwich As he continued " So I guess this is better even if I did get Frattened a Few nights ago He said if I ever Enter his Street again I'd get a New hole" I smile Through my anger , giving him some extra money " Compensation for me not to tell in my stories" The glinting circle once again appeared in his eyes I smiled at it before Leaving my happy go lucky Damina dropping " Kayla Find out which idiot Been Threatening people down on pill-Street" " Woah ben never sees as angry before How about we Gather The gang and get a drink Tomorrow night" I gave a nod my anger dissipating I let my usual smile return.and jumping into a conversation with mara " So you've been talking to that champagne guy, he's grumpy.And he makes sandwiches" Mara joined us after I helped to get away from a bad relationship Becoming one of are Best assets and one of the best at reading me Specially since we're quite similar When it comes what we're looking for in a man ,What do you think i'm Sending war against pill-Street She Loudly laughed " You're a hopeless romantic" She was right I enjoyed Threatening the Ally rat who said those word. The next day walking to the sandwich shop Champagne gave his light groan As he got started on , my sandwich didn't even need to ask " Remember that guys I mentioned he showed up here and apologised" My smile grow thinking about his safety " Good good good Hey you wanna join me for some drinks tonight Don't worry my friends will be there" His eyes circled Behind his yes. When he showed up , he looked Better than usual Just

Removing the apron made him Look Different in a good way Hey gorgeous I blabbed out " You have a lot of friends" I put my arm around his back Supportively Don't worry you're gonna be fine and It was so we ended up Chatting with silly I Tell one of the stories champagne hadn't already heard How l Built my Fastest car leaving out the mafia Parts I knew I couldn't tell him " So that's really possible How are you Such a Cartoon genius" I shrugged as v chimd in Some of her fashion stories Even give you a compliment to champagne outfit Things are going great until the Gorgeous sandwich got a little too drunk So I took him back to mine He looked So tired so I let him Half the bed and whispered to his unconscious body " I promise to give you anything you need". He woke up confused after I told him he actually got almost emotional " Thanks benny Honestly, when I first met you.I thought you were just some Flirtatious annoyance I was wrong" My heart pounded as I left The room letting him get dressed. The walk to the door was in uncomfortable but as he was one step away From leaving He turned around and kissed me And I kissed back it got longer and more passionate until We fell Into my office His eyes turned to freer "y, your a mob boss" As if it couldn't get worse, his eyes stopped on the screen And he saw himself " And you've been Spying on me Whith that he ran. My usual smile was gone no matter where I looked , it wasn't they But about 1 week into this funk.Ana Pulled me over I'm Guided me to the sandwich shop Inside was two people champagne And mara " She was just telling Me about what you do Which is a lot More good than I expected" Anna Exerted herself in Causing a proud look to come over my face " He Let's sterling and alexis Take Me and zack in for training" A jokingly said that alexis runs The place more than I do but Thinking back now she does " When my life Became a more about What he wanted me to be then What I actually was Benny You came in and saved me" Champagne got close Really close " I'm sorry I came across a real life superhero when yelled at him" Suddenly there it was my smile " I wouldn't call myself a superhero I'd call myself yours"

[astral-express-family]

The name's Fate!

Young Adult, he/it/she/they <3

I am a genderqueer polyamorous lesbian-

I have a taglist form if you're interested!

If you know me from my main, hi! Don't tell anyone please.

Dipping my toes into the self-ship community, might not post a whole lot. Not gonna share my main blog on here just yet. If you know me on my main/figure out my main (or any of my sides), please leave it over there. Fuck it. My main/fandom blog is @mb-blue-roses, and i interact from @arty-girl-asks. I'll probably focus more on my familial self-ships than my romantic ones, though I have some of both.

I don't mind people sharing f/os with me, romantic or platonic! (the only exception are my OCs, unless you ask permission first)

In fact, I love to interact w/ people who share my f/os! Whether it be in the same way or differently, we can share our love for them.

Nothing NSFW in the inbox though, I'm ace & don't want that. Also, proship DNI! Please don't call me "honey", it makes me deeply uncomfortable!

All original posts will be tagged #💛❤️💜 brought together by fate 💜❤️💛

All reblogs will be tagged as #💛❤️💜 fate's reblogs 💜❤️💛

18+ posts will be very rare - but on the occasion I do, they'll be tagged with #fatefully spicy

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

Please don't talk to me about the following ships (I don't care if you ship them, I just don't wanna hear about it): Itt.orou (Genshin), Kaz.orou (Genshin), Cyn.ari (Genshin), Jean.luc (Genshin), Robin.hill (Honkai), any ship involving the Trail.blazer and Mar.ch 7.th and D.an He.ng (Honkai), Rib.bun (TADC), Korsi.mint (Hi-Fi RUSH)

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

I have a separate selfship blog dedicated to my ships from a game with more NSFW character designs, as I don't feel comfortable posting them on here (even though none of the characters with those designs are actually f/os)

If you want the link/blog name, send an ask (off-anon, so I can answer privately) or DM me!!

Note: I will NOT be giving the link to anyone under 18 years of age

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

Since I self-ship partially as a coping mechanism, I will probably post some more serious posts with them from time to time. I will make sure to tag all posts appropriately.

Tags I will use will be #serious post, #trigger tw (ex: #disordered eating tw), and sometimes (if I'm not sure exactly what tags to use) #ask to tag.

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

Self-insert info can be found here!

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

(Most of these userboxes are by @/selfshipuserbox, Welt and Cultist userboxes are by @/angelboxes)

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

Non-exhaustive list of some of my f/os (organized by relationship) (complete with pronouns - some are headcanon) under the cut!

Main F/Os

(i don't love them any more than any other f/os, i just think about them all the time)

- Phone Gal/Sunni (Five Nights at Freddy's) (❤️) (Wife) (iffy sharing, please ask)

Pronouns: she/he (transfeminine lesbian)

Tag: 📞🌒 the voice on night watch | phone gal

Ship Name: Nighttime Loving

- Arthur Hastings (We Happy Few) (💛) (Platonic Soulmate/Best Friend Ever)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 💊📰 take my hand and we'll dance though the heart of the storm | arthur hastings

- Kai (Dark Parables) (🩵)

Pronouns: he/him (transmasculine, still woman-aligned)

Tag: 🌲📖 botanical warden | kai

Queerplatonic Ship Name: Botany and Baking

- Constantin D'Orsay (GreedFall) (Cousin)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🪙💰 the governor of new sérène | constantin d'orsay

- Bennett (Genshin Impact) (💜 - Youngest Brother)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🔥⚔️ a blazing adventure | bennett

- Lynette (Genshin Impact) (❤️💞 - with Hina) (Wife)

Pronouns: any, she/her preferred (transfeminine lesbian)

Tag: 🫖🎩 you're my cup of tea | lynette

Ship Name: Aslynette

- Hina (Genshin Impact) (❤️💞 - with Lynette) (Wife) (iffy sharing, please ask)

Pronouns: she/her (transfeminine lesbian)

Tag: 🐶🏳️‍⚧️ canine general of watatsumi | hina

Ship Name: A Canine and her Leporine

(Lynette x Hina Name: Hinette)

Joint Ship Name: I want something just like this (also called Ashinette but more rarely)

- Welt Yang (Honkai: Star Rail) (💜) (Father)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🖋🎞 our dear elder | welt yang

❤️ ~ Romantic ~ ❤️

(💞 = Polyamorous Ship)

- Yasmina Taylor (Detectives United OC) (💞 - with Althena Rivera) (Girlfriend) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🔥���� the scarlet princess | yasmina taylor

Ship Name: Yasline

- Althena Rivera (Detectives United OC) (💞 - with Yasmina Taylor) (Girlfriend) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: any (agender)

Tag: 🪪💅 a shifting form | althena rivera

Ship Name: Celthena

(Yasmina x Althena Name: Almina)

Joint Ship Name: spirit shapeshifter princess

- Gerda (Dark Parables) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 💛🪙 hair of gold heart of gold | gerda

Ship Name: 'cause i'm gonna make this place your home

- Síora (GreedFall) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🌿💐 mundeinhanem | síora

Ship Name: De Síora

- Aita Snowwing (Seekers Notes) (Girlfriend)

Tag: 🦉🪶 owl racer | aita snowwing

Ship Name: Seeking your love <3

- Cassandra De Rolo (TLoVM) (Wife)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 👸🩸 the ruler of whitestone | cassandra de rolo

Ship Name: Casseas

- Mellori (Wizard101) (💞 - with Layle Dusklaw) (Fiancee)

Pronouns: they/she (demigirl)

Tag: 🍃🪄 daughter of the raven | mellori

Ship Name: Viclori

- Layle Dusklaw (Wizard101 OC) (💞 - with Mellori) (Finacee) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: she/they (nonbinary)

Tag: 💀🪦 angel in the graveyard | layle dusklaw

Ship Name: Layloria

(Mellori x Layle Name: Melle)

Joint Ship Name: Is how I need you / And how you needed me too

- Cassie 'Clip' Lipman (Fortnite: Save the World) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/fae (transfeminine demigirl)

Tag: 🔩🔧 gunsmithing wonder | cassie 'clip' lipman

Ship Name: Rose Clippings

- Carter 'Cartridge' Ridgely (Fortnite: Save the World) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: he/she/they

Tag: TBA

Ship Name: Cartridaire

(Clip x Cartridge Tag: Cliptridge)

Joint Ship Name: This is a drop everything kind of thing

- Amber (Genshin Impact) (💞 - with Eula) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🐰🪽 outrider of mondstat | amber

Ship Name: Amlia

- Eula Lawrence (Genshin Impact) (💞 - with Amber) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/they (genderqueer)

Tag: 🏔💫 social etiquette training | eula lawrence

Ship Name: Eulia

(Amber x Eula Name: Eulamber)

Joint Ship Name: Eulamlia

- Lumine (Genshin Impact) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/it (agender)

Tag: 🗺🌟 love across the stars | lumine

Ship Name: Aslumine

- Chevreuse (Genshin Impact) (💞 - with Chiori) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: they/she (nonbinary)

Tag: 💥🍟 musket-wielding dame | chevreuse

Ship Name: Shot through the heart and you're to blame

- Chiori (Genshin Impact) (💞 - with Chevreuse) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her (transfeminine)

Tag: 🪡🧵 boutique angel | chiori

Ship Name: But I see your true colors shining through

(Chevreuse x Chiori Name: Cheviori)

Joint Ship Name: Muskets clothes and sweets

- Nilou (Genshin Impact) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🩰🌦️ dance into my heart | nilou

Ship Name: Aslou

- La Signora (Genshin Impact) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🦋🔥 fair lady of flames | rosalyne/la signora

Ship Name: It's win or it's lose and i don't want to lose you

- Asta (Honkai: Star Rail) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🛰️🌠 every star is a miracle | asta

Ship Name: the stars will always remember us

- Robin (Honkai: Star Rail) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🕊🎼 hope is the thing with feathers | robin

Ship Name: let me start by saying i love you

- Charlie (Don't Starve) (Wife)

Pronouns: she/it

Tag: 🌹🪄 no damsel in distress don't need to save me | charlie

Ship Name: Lies the seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose

- Rory Williams (Doctor Who) (💞 - with Amy) (Partner)

Pronouns: he/she (bigender)

Tag: ⚔️🩺 centurion nurse | rory williams

Ship Name: Jory

- Amy Pond (Doctor Who) (💞 - with Rory) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🌐💒 more important than the universe | amy pond

Ship Name: Jomy

(Rory x Amy Name: Roramy)

Joint Ship Name: the feather-pond-williams family

- Peppermint Vandelay (Hi-Fi Rush) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her (transfeminine)

Tag: 🍬📱 brains and beauty | peppermint vandelay

Ship Name: If only you saw what I can see you'll understand why I want you so desperately

- Lucille (A Monster in Paris) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🪽🎵 a musical angel | lucille

Ship Name: just a little kiss from you

- Breanna Casey (Leverage: Redemption)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 💻🏳️‍🌈 lesbian in stem | breanna casey

Ship Name: the maker and the baker

- Amira Rashid (Monster Prom) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🔥❤️‍🔥 burning in my heart | amira rashid

Ship Name: Highschool Sweethearts

- Sunny (Fortnite: Battle Royale) (💞 - with Stryder) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 👽🎸 we'll get out of here | sunny

Ship Name: Alien and her lover

- Stryder (Fortnite: Battle Royale) (💞 - with Sunny) (Partner)

Pronouns: she/he (bigender)

Tag: ✌️💻 peace syndicate queen | stryder

Ship Name: Space Strider

(Sunny x Stryder Name: Sun Strider)

Joint Ship Name: Alien Sun Strider

- Holly (Monster Rancher) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🏡🦖 together raise monsters | holly

Ship Name: The Holly and The Ivy

- Gangle (The Amazing Digital Circus) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/they

Tag: 🎭🎀 take off your mask with me | gangle

Ship Name: Ribbon Rabbit

- Fei Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) (Girlfriend)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

Ship Name: The beating of our hearts is the only sound

❣️ ~ Crushes ~ ❣️

(Characters I love but am too anxious/uncertain to officially add) (* = Comes from a media I already ship with)

⚙️📓*

Pronouns: it/she

👤❄️*

Pronouns: she/they

👒🌪️*

Pronouns: they/he

🥊🏆*

Pronouns: she/her

🐟🪖 - polyam w/ below

Pronouns: she/her

🦎⚗️ - polyam w/ above

Pronouns: she/her

📕🧺

Pronouns: she/her

💜 ~ Fankids ~ 💜

- Devin, Clarissa, and Asher Roseman (with Phone Gal)

- Aspen and Luna (with Lynette)

- Varian (with Hina)

- Julius de Rolo (with Cassandra de Rolo)

- Dewy (with Amber)

🩵 ~ Queerplatonic ~ 🩵

- Elwin (OC - multiple versions - Dark Parables & Honkai: Star Rail) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: they/them (agender)

Tag: TBA

Queerplatonic Ship Names: TBA (Dark Parables), A Brand New Memory (Honkai: Star Rail)

- Page Jimmy (Wizard101) (💛/🩵 - undecided) (putting him here until i fully decide)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Calamity Thunderwing (Wizard101 OC) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: she/her (transfeminine)

Tag: TBA

- Caiden Goldenfeather (Wizard101 OC) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: he/him (transmasculine)

Tag: TBA

- Tighnari (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: he/they/she (genderfluid)

Tag: 🌳🍄 one with the forest | tighnari

Queerplatonic Ship Name: Aslari

- Oz (Monster Prom)

Pronouns: he/they (nonbinary demiboy)

Tag: ���🌠 not afraid with you | oz

Queerplatonic Ship Name: Highschool Darlings

💜 ~ Familial ~ 💜

- August (OC) (Biological Older Brother) (ABSOLUTELY NO SHARING)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Deacon (OC) (Biological Twin Brother) (ABSOLUTELY NO SHARING)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Coppelia (Five Nights at Freddy's: The Week Before) (Step-daughter)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Ollie (Poppy Playtime) (Son)

Pronouns: it/he

Tag: 📼🧸 beloved toy beloved boy | ollie

- Nicky Roth (Hello Neighbor) (Son)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🥽🏀 hello my son | nicky roth

- Tabby (HOUSE) (Daughter)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Melody (HOUSE) (Daughter)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Fran Bow (Fran Bow) (Daughter)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Dorian Brown (Mystery Trackers/Detectives United) (Father)

Pronouns: he/it

Tag: 🫥🕵‍♂️ the invisible detective | dorian brown

- Mortimer Brown (Mystery Trackers/Detectives United) (Uncle)

Pronouns: he/they/she

Tag: 🫥🥀 blue rose in bloom | mortimer brown

- James Blackthorne (Haunted Hotel/Detectives United) (Uncle)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 👻🏨 the man who talks to ghosts | james blackthorne

- Jessica Blackthorne (Haunted Hotel) (Aunt)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Jaylene Blackthorne (Haunted Hotel OC) (Cousin)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Anna Gray (Grim Tales/Detectives United) (Aunt)

Pronouns: she/they

Tag: 🕰🪞 step into a memory | anna gray

- Dorian Gray (Grim Tales) (Uncle)

Pronouns: he/ae

Tag: 🖼🎨 painting of the self | dorian gray

Richard Gray (Grim Tales/Detectives United) (Grandfather)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 💀⌛️ a spirit tethered to earth | richard gray

- Alice Gray (Grim Tales) (Cousin)

Pronouns: she/he

Tag: ⌚️🏞 another time another place | alice gray

- Amber Edevane (Mystery Trackers) (Aunt)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🐶🕵‍♀️ full time detective part time dog mom | amber edevane

- Shade (Mystery Trackers/Detectives United) (Aunt)

Pronouns: she/it/they

Tag: 📜📞 limitless information | shade

- Jasmine Rivera (Detectives United OC) (Sibling-in-Law)

Pronouns: they/them

Tag: 🪪🫰 this mortal form | jasmine rivera

- Noah (Dark Parables) (Father-in-Law(ish))

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🪓🪵 woodcutting guide | noah

- Hansel (Dark Parables) (Unspecified Elder-in-Law)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🌕✨️ golden moon | hansel

- Red Riding Hood Sisters - Ruth, Jessica, & Briar Rose (Dark Parables) (Elder Sister Figures)

Pronouns: she/her (all)

Collective Sisters Tag: 🏕🐺 woodland family | red riding hood sisters

- Otis de Sardet (GreedFall - my variant of the player character) (Sibling)

Pronouns: Any

Tag: TBA

- Mev (GreedFall) (Sister-in-Law)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🪻🌟 sisters in battle | mev

- Petrus (GreedFall) (Uncle Figure)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🌟🌫 believer in enlightenment | petrus

- Benjamin Rosewell (Seekers Notes) (Adopted Son)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🔎🧸 mystery-seeking son | benjamin rosewell

- Percy De Rolo (TLoVM) (Brother-in-Law)

Pronouns: they/them

Tag: 🔫✴️ the gunsling king | percy de rolo

- Bat (Wizard101) (Brother-in-Law)

Pronouns: they/he

Tag: 🦇🌒 son of the spider | the bat

- Arthur Wethersfield (Wizard101) (Father)

Pronouns: he/they

Tag: 🎩☕️ well balanced guidance | arthur wethersfield

- Flint Anvilbreaker (Wizard101 OC) (Brother) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: he/wiz

Tag: 🔮🐉 friend turned brother | flint anvilbreaker

- Megan Bluebreeze (Wizard101 OC) (Sister) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: she/hir

Tag: 🪶🌩 maiden of the storm | megan bluebreeze

- Bentley Daysong (Wizard101) (Younger Brother)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🔥🪔 tender inferno | bentley daysong

- Sophie Dusklaw (Wizard101 OC) (Sister-in-Law) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🍾🧿 queen of three | sophie dusklaw

- Oliver Dusklaw (Wizard101 OC) (Brother-in-Law) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🪴💚 garden's heartbeat | oliver dusklaw

- Dennis (Fortnite: Save the World) (Brother)

Pronouns: he/she

Tag: 🍔🫡 hamburger helper | dennis

- Ray (Fortnite: Save the World) (Sister)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🔋📷 mission control | ray vinderman

- Sarah (Fortnite: Save the World) (Sister-in-Law)

Pronouns: she/they

Tag: [emojis TBA] sister's leap of faith | sarah

Dennis Jr. (Fortnite: Save the World) (Nephew)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag : 🧸🕗 time after time | dennis jr

Lok (Fortnite: Save the World) (Nephew)

Pronouns: he/they

Tag: 📨📲 learning ai | lok

- Bianca (Genshin Impact OC) (Younger Sister) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🍀🌑 a lucky adventure | bianca

- Kaeya Alberich (Genshin Impact) (Older Brother)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: ❄️🌨 frosty family | kaeya alberich

- Diluc Ragnvindr (Genshin Impact) (Oldest Brother)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🍷🌋 family keeps you warm | diluc ragnvindr

- Aether (Genshin Impact) (Brother-in-Law)

Pronouns: he/it

Tag: 🧭🌟 family across the stars | aether

- Jean Gunnhildr (Genshin Impact) (Older Sister)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🌬🏵 dandelion girl | jean gunnhildr

- Barbara Pegg (Genshin Impact) (Younger Sister)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🌊🎶 an idol's song | barbara pegg

- Venti (Genshin Impact) (Father)

Pronouns: he/they/it

Tag: 🎼🕊 feathers on the wind | venti

- Chongyun (Genshin Impact) (Younger Brother)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🍧🧊 popsicle boy | chongyun

- Ga Ming (Genshin Impact) (Brother)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🦁🎇 lion guard | ga ming

- Kaedehara Kazuha (Genshin Impact) (Brother)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🍁☁️ one with which to wander | kaedehara kazuha

- Diona Kätzlein (Genshin Impact) (Daughter)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🐱🏹 the young hunter | diona kätzlein

- Chouji (Genshin Impact) (Son)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🦴⛏️ three thousand miles | chouji

- Sayu (Genshin Impact) (Daughter) (Daughter)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 😴🌱 the sleepiest ninja | sayu

- Beidou (Genshin Impact) (Mother)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: ⚓️♟️ my family lies over the ocean | beidou

- Ningguang (Genshin Impact) (Mother)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 💸♟️ rags to riches story | ningguang

- Zhongli (Genshin Impact) (Uncle)

Pronouns: he/it

Tag: ☄️⏳️ an unspoken contract | zhongli

- Lyney (Genshin Impact) (Brother-in-Law)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🔥🎩 master of the stage | lyney

- Freminet (Genshin Impact) (Brother-in-Law)

Pronouns: they/he

Tag: ⛲️🫧 life beneath the waves | freminet

- Arlecchino (Genshin Impact) (Mother-in-Law)

Pronouns: she/he, she preferred

Tag: 🏠✨️ home is where the hearth is | arlecchino

- Branch Master Cyrus (Genshin Impact) (Father)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🧭🌍 a branch of adventure | branch master cyrus

- Marjorie (Genshin Impact) (Sister)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 💵💎 with wind comes glory | marjorie

- Adventure Guild Dads (Genshin Impact) (Fathers) (catch-all)

Pronouns: he/him (all)

Tag: 🧭🫂 the adventure that is family | adventure guild dads

- March 7th (Honkai: Star Rail) (Sister)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 📸🌨 say cheese! | march 7th

- Dan Heng (Honkai: Star Rail) (Brother)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🕚🌬 gazing toward the future | dan heng

- Stelle (Honkai: Star Rail) (Sister)

Pronouns: ze/she

Tab: 🗑️🔗 birds of a feather | stelle

- Caelus (Honkai: Star Rail) (Brother)

Pronouns: it/they/he

Tag: 💠🔗 birds of a feather | caelus

Astral Express Kids Tag: 🌠💜 chaotic siblings | astral express kids

- Himeko (Honkai: Star Rail) (Mother)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🌹💄 elegant rose of flame | himeko

- Pom-Pom (Honkai: Star Rail) (Undefined Familial)

Pronouns: any, they/them preferred

Tag: 🐇⭐️ our loyal conductor | pom-pom

Collective AEC Tag: 🌌🚅 a trailblazing family | astral express crew

- Arlan (Honkai: Star Rail) (Brother)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: ⚡🩹 lightning in the dark | arlan

- Yanqing (Honkai: Star Rail) (Little Brother)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Jing Yuan (Honkai: Star Rail) (Father)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Misha (Honkai: Star Rail) (Little Brother)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🗝️🧳 reverie of the stars | misha

- Gallagher (Honkai: Star Rail) (Father)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- The Cultist (Enter the Gungeon) (Child)

Pronouns: they/them

Tag: TBA

- Lock, Shock, and Barrel (The Nightmare Before Christmas) (Children)

Pronouns: he/him (Lock and Barrel), she/her (Shock)

Collective Tag: TBA

- Alec Hardison (Leverage) (Brother-in-Law)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Trespasser Defector/Tav (Fortnite: Battle Royale) (Undefined but definitely familial)

Pronouns: he/she/they

Tag: 🌌🌏 space above and earth below | trespasser defector

- Wilson P. Higgsbury (Don't Starve) (Brother-ish)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🧪🥼 the gentleman scientist | wilson p higgsbury

- Blinkous Galadrigal (Tales of Arcadia) (Adoptive Father)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Aarghaumont/Aaarrrgghh (Tales of Arcadia) (Adoptive Father)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Zenkichi Hasegawa (Persona 5 Strikers) (Adoptive Father)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Akane Hasegawa (Persona 5 Strikers) (Adoptive Sister)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Sophia (Persona 5 Strikers) (Little Sister)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Ren Amamiya/Akira Kurusu/Joker (Persona 5) (Little Brother)

Pronouns: any

Tag: TBA

💛 ~ Platonic ~ 💛

- Gwyn (Dark Parables)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🏹🦅 his frosty highness | gwyn

- Pinocchio (Dark Parables)

Pronouns: he/they

Tag: 🤎🫶 be you wood or flesh | pinocchio

- Vasco (GreedFall)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🌊⚓️ sailing the mighty seas | vasco

- Kurt (GreedFall)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: ⚔️🛡 guarding my back | kurt

- Aphra (GreedFall)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 💣🔬 science & guns & bombs | aphra

- Fiona Mythsinger (Wizard101 OC) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🧿🌏 forbidden mythos | fiona mythsinger

- Carpe Diem Society (Kestrel Blackstorm, Taylor Froghead, Declan Wyrmdust, Carson Spritethief, & Quinn Legendbreaker) (Wizard101)

Pronouns: she/her (K), she/they (T), he/him (D), he/they (C), & it/she (Q)

Collective Tag: 🫂☀️ seize the day | carpe diem society

- Dyvim Whitehart (Wizard101)

Pronouns: they/them

Tag: 🗡🐀 for bastion!! | dyvim whitehart

- Obsidian O'Leary (Wizard101 OC) (iffy sharing OCs)

Pronouns: they/them

Tag: TBA

- A.C. (Fortnite: Save the World)

Pronouns: they/them

Tag: TBA

- Willow (Fortnite: Save the World)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Larry Butz (Ace Attorney)

Pronouns: he/they(/sometimes she)

Tag: 🖌🫀 a woman's kinda man | larry butz

- Paimon (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: they/them

Tag: ✨️🥘 an otherworldly guide | paimon

- Sangonomiya Kokomi

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🪼🪸 together we are stronger | sangonomiya kokomi

- Razor (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: they/them

Tag: TBA

- Fischl (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: she/they

Tag: TBA

- Mika Schmidt (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🏔🗺 icy reconnaissance | mika schmidt

- Lisa Minci (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 📖⚡️ lightning librarian | lisa minci

- Albedo (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: Any, no preference

Tag: 🗻🖌 chalk amongst the snow | albedo

- Klee (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🧨🔥 explosive little spark | klee

- Sucrose (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🍬🧫 sweet shy scientist | sucrose

- Noelle (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🧹🛡 miss maid-knight | noelle

Collective KoF tag: 🪽🗡 let the wind lead | knights of favonius

- Xingqiu (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: he/she

Tag: 📚🗡 bookworm swordsman | xingqiu

- Navia (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🌹💎 the spina's demoiselle | navia

- Tartaglia/Childe (Genshin Impact)

Pronouns: he/they

Tag: 🐋🛷 monoceros caeli | tartaglia

- Chai (Hi-Fi RUSH)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🎸🎧 the powers of rock and friendship | chai

- 808 (Hi-Fi RUSH)

Pronouns: any

Tag: 🐈‍⬛🤖 emotional support feline | 808

- Macaron (Hi-Fi RUSH)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Korsica (Hi-Fi RUSH)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Francœur (A Monster in Paris)

Pronouns: any

Tag: TBA

- Raoul (A Monster in Paris)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Emile (A Monster in Paris)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Maud (A Monster in Paris)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Parker (Leverage)

Pronouns: they/she

Tag: TBA

- Eliot Spencer (Leverage)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Sophie Devereaux (Leverage)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Harry Wilson (Leverage: Redemption)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Vicky Schmidt (Monster Prom)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: 🔩⚡️ frankenstein was the monster | vicky schmidt

- Brian Yu (Monster Prom)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: 🧟‍♂️🧠 undead friend | brian yu

- Vera Oberlin (Monster Prom)

Pronouns: she/her

Tag: TBA

- Order Remnant/Ira (Fortnite: Battle Royale)

Pronouns: it/he/no pronouns

Tag: 🪖💭 remaining thread of imagination | order remnant

- SHADOW Enforcer/Shale (Fortnite: Battle Royale)

Pronouns: he/fae/they

Tag: 🕶🐈‍⬛ shadow in the light | shadow enforcer

- GHOST Enforcer/Gavin (Fortnite: Battle Royale)

Pronouns: he/him

Tag: TBA

- Svenja (Fortnite: Battle Royale)

Pronouns: she/he

Tag: TBA

Joint Hench Quintet Tag: TBA

- The Survivors (Don't Starve Together) (Specifics TBA - there are 16 of them)

Pronouns: TBA

Collective Tag: TBA

- Viktor Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy)

Pronouns: he/they

Tag: TBA

🐾 ~ Pets ~ 🐾

- Simon (HOUSE)

Tag: TBA

- Mr. Midnight (Fran Bow)

Tag: TBA

- Chocolate Chip the Mist Wolf (Dark Parables)

Tag: TBA

- Peppy (Honkai: Star Rail)

Tag: 🐾🌟 space station puppy | peppy

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

I'm pretty sure I have more than that, I'll add them to the list as I post abt them

☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

Fictional Enemies

(I'm tucking them down here, but just know that it's on sight)

- Prince d'Orsay (GreedFall) <- (Main Enemy)

- Royce (Genshin Impact) <- (Main Enemy)

- Draff (Genshin Impact)

- Albert (Genshin Impact)

- Yae Miko (Genshin Impact)

- Herta (Honkai: Star Rail)

- Blade (Honkai: Star Rail)

- The Clown With the Tear-Away Face (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

- Jax (The Amazing Digital Circus)

- Grandmother Raven (Wizard101) (it's on sight but she's also family to me - it's very complicated)

[oneirataxia-girl]

Relationship asks!! # 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 10, 12, 15, 20, 21, 36, 39, 45, 48! I realize this might get a little long but I want answers for both Keller and Midlaw hehehe

hadley lovely you're so right this was long af 😭 so I split this into one post for Keller (this one) and another for Midlaw (link here!) but without further ado, let's jump in! tagging the other op anime girlie @auxiliarydetective bc I don't wanna spoil the others

1. How did they meet and what were their first impressions of each other?

Sabaody arc, when the Heart, Kid, and Strawhat pirates leave the auction house and they're surrounded by Marines. Killer jumps in and takes out one of them just as the man is about to attack Kenji's unknowing back; cue Kenji's eyes widening like dinner plates watching Killer land on the ground in slow motion and Killer thinking wow this guy is so dumb (affectionate) like my captain when we were young KID TF ARE YOU TOYING WITH THESE MARINES FOR WE GOTTA GO-

2. What kind of dynamic do they have with each other?

smartass x dumbass, sunshine protector x sunshine, "I'd die for you" "who said you could die??? WHO SAID YOU COULD DIE KILLER I NEED NAMES"

3. What do others think of them?

Kid is like ???????? at Killer's choice of a boyfriend, but Killer's taste is all his fault because Kenji like him in some ways (much to Kenji's horror but we'll get to that another time) and Killer is basically programmed to like that type; the other Kid Pirates, after grilling Kenji about his intentions of their beloved second-in-command, are pretty supportive of the two; Mari approved of Killer before they even got together; the other Strawhats also become fond of him, Franky and Usopp are the (joking) exception since both of them had to put up with Kenji ranting about Killer's weapons for weeks after Wano, Jimbei is the fishman Kenji goes to ask about having a crush and it’s very fluffy, then Brook, Sanji and Chopper pop in and it dissolves into teasing jabs, Robin mentions offhandedly to Nami about Kenji’s not-so-subtle attempt to ask after Killer in the day’s newspaper and Nami is iffy on whether the other pirate is good enough, but keeps those thoughts to herself until she can access Killer’s potential herself. Zoro pretends to be asleep through all this but he’s glad that Kenji doesn’t know about his fight with Killer as Kamazo (and has no plans of telling him that), and Luffy’s just glad that his crew is getting along with Jaggy’s

5. Is their joint future bright or bleak?

uhhhhhhhh... ideally yes. but it might have to change for canon events, but I do think they get a happy ending

7. Do they have a desire to protect each other?

YES. Killer is of the opinion that Kenji can't fight, and although that's objectively Not True, Kenji's combat levels are a lot lower than Killer's, so when their crews fight together, Killer tries to keep an eye on Kenji. Kenji is also fiercely protective of his Kil, so when anyone makes a snide remark about Killer's time on Wano, the poor sod has to face a very angry red ball of fluff (Kid) and a similarly furious, gun-cocking blacksmith

10. Who would win in a fight?

Killer. no diff, if they're forced to fight (which would be the only scenario either of them would raise a weapon at the other), Kenji would be out without question

12. Who is a better caregiver?

it’s a close one but Kenji. Killer is good at caring for everyone but himself, but Kenji is a firm believer of "you can't take care of anyone if you don't care for yourself" so Kenji is the deliverer of sunshine and smiles, and he's mentally okay while doing it!

15. Who has better fashion sense?

I really wanna say Kenji because he is the crew's secondary fashionista (behind Nami but before Sanji), but I believe that Killer's polka dot era is going to come back and that Killer was iconic af. so for now it's a tie

20. What's the worst thing about them teaming up?

Killer would constantly check up on Kenji, which could impact his focus and allow the opponent to get some hits that normally Killer could block. Killer's checkups and possible injuries could also affect Kenji's aim, as he might abandon logic and charge at the enemy without even loading his guns

21. What's the best thing about them teaming up?

if Killer does close range combat while Kenji takes care of mid-range, with both of them equipped with a talkie-walkie version of a transponder snail to communicate, then they could deal some serious damage to anyone facing them. other than the battlefield, they're also a pretty fire duo when it comes to making drinks (Killer watches in loving astonishment as Kenji comes up with the weirdest mixes that always turn out delicious); if both of them + Sanji are in the kitchen, the crews just know they'll be eating and drinking well

36. What is a gift one would give to the other?

Kenji would give him little metal decorations like bracelets or brooches with his mask's design integrated into the pieces. Killer would buy fun trinkets when the Victoria Punk docks on islands to show his boyfriend when they meet again

39. What's an inside joke they'd have together?

"when will Kid and Mari and Trafalgar finally kiss, I wonder?" "my sister has WAY better taste than those ruffians, Kil" "Ken, I'm one of Kid's 'ruffians'" "but you're the best ruffian to ruff, and Mari doesn't settle for anything other than the best, so she's definitely not getting with Jaggy or Tra-guy or both of them"

a ton of angst, lots of yelling, and three confessions later...

"so..." "don't. just lemme mope in peace, Kil"

Killer never lets Kenji forget this. it later becomes a joke that Kenji is actively terrible at predicting romantic relationships and he has fun making the wildest matches ever

45. If one of them was in trouble, what would the other do?

look... all I'm saying is if a guy named "Massacre Soldier" Killer has a boyfriend who apparently once used a person's blood to make his bullets, I would think twice before trying to hurt either one of them. rip(ieces) to those who do otherwise but I value my life

48. If they swapped bodies, how would they handle it?

first, Kenji would claim this as the reason why Mari should leave Law (Mari's typical poker face nearly breaks at the sight of big beefy Killer waving his arms around in typical Kenji fashion); then he'd get Killer to teach him how to use his Punishers, which leads to Killer strapping the blades to Kenji's body to prevent Kenji from hurting himself, which leads to a pouting Kenji, which leads to Killer petting his own head (wow Ken wasn't lying his hair really feels nice in these hands), which leads to Midlaw & co stifling their snorts at the sight of a (compared to Killer) smol twig of a guy stroking back the hair of someone twice his size that practically has a raincloud over his head. let's just say that after this, Law had to endure quite a few dirty glances and passive aggressive remarks from his brother-in-law for a while

give me a number + relationship and I'll tell you something about that relationship!

[mintmatcha]

soggy - Hanamaki

cw: angst, major character death, mentions of terminal illness, hospital, female reader

He knows before you even say anything.

"Doctor finally told you the bad news, huh?” Makki pushes himself up with his usually toothy smile, lounging back on to one elbow. The hospital bed creaks pathetically as it rises almost comically slowly to meet his posture. It would been funny if he didn't immediately collapse back against it, exhaustion weighing heavy in his bones. He shimmies to the side of his bed, careful to keep his IVs and wires straight,  and pats the empty space, beckoning you to him. 

It’s hard to acknowledge you’ve grown used to seeing him here, like this. The memory of him in his own bed -your bed, the one you bought together, the place where he always begging for fifteen more minutes of sleep- feels so impossibly distant. Less than six months ago you could picture him on your sofa, begging you to join him so you could play with his hair.

Makki tugs his baseball cap down and you look at your shoes. No hair to play with anymore.

Mattsun bought him that stupid hat last year for his bachelor’s party. It's a neon pink monstrosity, the words 'Future DILF' stitched on to the front.

Mattsun hasn't been by in a while. You don't blame him; it's hard seeing someone whither.

“You’re supposed to be sleeping.” is all you can think to say.

All of his favorite knickknacks have made their way here; the switch came on the first round of treatment, the blanket from the couch came round three. The slippers are a new addition, their tag still on the bottom on the left shoe.

You've been here through all six.

“Dude, fuck sleeping-” Makki pats the mattress again, more insistent. You join him reluctantly, throwing your legs over his and tucking your head into his shoulder, trying to hide your face. He doesn’t smell like himself anymore; the scent is stale and sour, with the hint of the floral cleaner they use to wipe down the room. “All I fucking do is sleep and throw up- I just wanna hang with my girl.”

You perk up enough to meet his eye for a moment, brow knitted in concern. It's always like that nowadays;. "Were you sick again? I can grab the nurse-”

“Julia knows, that’s why I’m on the fluids again.” he presses a kiss against your forehead when you open your mouth again, “And they gave me another dose of the anti-nausea stuff. Relax; you worry too much.”

You try to take his advice, but the doctor's words still swim in your mind.

No improvement, no improvement, no improvement.

“The doctor finally told you the updates, huh?” he asks again. His voice cracks, so soft it’s barely there. 

It's migrated to his lungs.

“It’s okay!” you pull yourself together,  “Fuck what the doctors say. We’ll fight this. Another round and we’ll be right back home, in our bed- ”

“Babe,” he holds your hands between his and pulls them to his lips, kissing your knuckles with reverence. He hums at every contact, carrying a tuneless song, refusing to savor you in silence. “I’m done fighting.”

You watch his face, as if his placid smile would answer all of your questions. “I don’t understand.”

You choose not to understand. 

“I’ve already told the doctor that I’m not doing anymore chemotherapy.”

“I don’t understand, Hiro.” you pull your hand away. He tries to hold on, but his grip strength just isn’t enough, so he just watches with that same, stupid smile, “You’re sick, you need more-”

“I’m tired,” he squeezes tighter and the dig on his joints surprises you. He’s always been a thin man, but the sharpness of his bones through skin begs to be noticed. “I’m so tired, baby. I can’t do this anymore.”

The hospital sounds have faded into the background of your life, but right now they seem deafening. The chatter of nurses at their station in the hall, the steady thrum of the overhead lights, the dreadfully stable beep connected to his heart-

You'd listen to this for the rest of your life if you had to.

“You’re not allowed to just- just give up,” your throat is so tight, voice nothing but strange pitches and wavers, “You’re not allowed.”

“It’s okay.” he smiles again, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "MCR was right, chemo makes you feel so soggy-"

“No, fuck off. No fucking jokes right now.” you push him away, palm against his ribs to hold him apart from you. The way he flinches only makes you want to cry more, “We were supposed to grow old together, Takahiro. We- we are going to grow old together.” 

You point to your ring, holding it so close to his face the diamond scuffs his nose. He begged his mom for it, his sister told you once. Literally got down on his knees and begged for his grandmother’s ring.

“It’s ‘til death do we part,’’ you swallow back your cry, but nothing stops the tears, as they start to well, “And I’m not ready to fucking part.”

He tucks his lips under his teeth, holding them in a straight line to try and hide the wobble.

"I lived a really good life. I got to marry an amazing person. Even convinced her to love me enough to stand by my side this whole shitshow." he cocks his head and runs his tongue across the inside of his cheek over and over again, "I'm okay with letting it end here. I really, really am."

Despite all the parts of him that you no longer recognize, he's still your Takahiro. He's the same man who took you to 7-11 on your first date, the same one who bought every flavor of ice cream in the store for your first anniversary.

The same man you decided to spend the rest of your life with.

“But what am I gonna do without you?”

That’s what breaks him. His arms wrap around your shoulder and pull you firmly into his chest, not quite fast enough to hide how his face cracks into utter despair. Like this, you can't see him cry, but you can feel it- every staccato, jagged breath, the tremble in his arms, the wet of tears against your scalp.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” he whispers in between kisses, trying to comfort you when he can't even hold himself together. “I just can’t fight anymore.”

part two

[tinkerbellwoo]

ATEEZ As: Types Of People At The Gym

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only! This is in no way meant to offend or upset anyone, nor is it an accurate representation of the Ateez members! Please don't take this seriously.

Hongjoong: 

100% he’s the guy that sits on the workout machines for an hour but doesn't know how any of them work so he just tries to make himself look busy the entire time by scrolling through his phone and fiddling with stuff.

Tries to make conversation with people on purpose so he doesn't have to work out.

Seonghwa: 

He brings his own cleaning equipment to the gym so he can wipe down the equipment before using it. 

Would clean the mirrors before talking a mirror selfie and totally would point out strangers hazards. 

“Bro, you shouldn't leave your water bottle on the floor, its a hazard”

Yunho: 

The social butterfly.

You wanna work out in peace? no chance when this dude is around. 

He’ll come over and start talking to you like “Yo I have those shoes too” and you’ll never hear the end of it. 

He never actually gets any working out done because he gets distracted. 

Yeosang: 

One word; bodybuilder. 

He’s the most serious motherfucker in this joint. 

Always got a protein shake by his side and always has his AirPods in so people won't talk to him. 

He’s in and out within an hour and knows exactly what workout he's going to do before he even wakes up in the morning.

San: 

He’s convinced everyone is trying to compete against him so he has to grunt the loudest after every rep just so people will think “Dang, look at that guy”. 

He stands at the water fountain trying to look like a candid hottie while he wipes his sweat, might even pour some water on himself when no one is looking so people will take note of how hard he goes in his workouts.

Mingi: 

Has no idea what to do with the weights so he just sticks to the treadmill most of the time and hopes it'll give him washboard abs. 

Will sit on a piece of equipment and whisper to the dude next to him “How do I use this?”. 

He just tends to watch what other people do and tries to copy so he doesn't look awkward.

Wooyoung: 

Walks into the gym and collects every single item of equipment he wants to use, puts it in a pile next to him and won't let anyone else use it until he's done. 

Always looks serious af, watches himself in the mirror and will even flex for himself hoping people are watching him. 

He tries to get himself as sweaty as possible so he has an excuse to take his shirt off. 

Everyone hates him because it ain’t that deep, please just exercise and go home. 

Jongho: 

Puts his AirPods in and just gets shit done, not without posting a mirror selfie on snapchat to prove he works out regularly though. 

Tries to avoid talking to people at all costs but will hope strangers notice how strong he is and compliment him. 

Tries to convince the personal trainers to arm wrestle with him every. Single. Time.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

A/N - So I’ve come up with yet ANOTHER series type of thing, “ATEEZ As Types Of People _____” we’ll see how long I’m motivated to write this :3

Tag List - @simphwa @multidreams-and-desires @jonghoisbabie @ateezinmymind @224-12 @woowommy

[transsexualhamlet]

what does "Lent" represent in the playlist?

Ahahaha mysterious corpse fic anon yet again!! /pos /pos /pos

Ok well half of it is just I really like that song but it has. Reasons. I can see why they'd be less obvious since there's not like. Any murder or corpses lmao but yes! So! Under another cut! This is The Corpse Fic after all

I'm gonna put this in the general fyogol tag because tbh! It's a good analysis of their relationship in general hey motherfuckers listen to Lent by Autoheart it's about nikolai and fyodor<3

This song I think is a very good portrayal the dysfunction of Fyodor and Nikolai's relationship to begin with, from beginning to end, and how that dysfunction continues for Nikolai even after his death, worsening to the point where he can finally see the forest for the trees of why he feels like this and hating it.

It focuses on his memory of how they lived from Nikolai's perspective. Their relationship has always been one utterly centered around worship, guilt, religious trauma, hidden feelings, and codependence. They met, in my own idea, when they were both very vulnerable and in bad places, still teenagers, and the relationship they've built up in order to survive is ultimately terrible for the both of them no matter how much they love each other.

Nikolai is so accustomed to this relationship where nothing else in the world matters to him, though he knows he's been abandoned and used and was always meant to die and that no future includes either of them happy, even though he's realized their relationship is fucked up in a multitude of ways he can't live without Fyodor. This thing he's killed is his religion. What else is he supposed to do?

Him narrating this song during this time shows just how much his beliefs and that painting of Fyodor's affected him. It is a deeply guilt-ridden relationship they have and nearly everything for them is built on a thick foundation of trauma and symbolism. Things aren't working out for them, they never were going to, he continues to attempt to purify himself in Fyodor's eyes, in his own eyes, how he wishes they might be saved and how he knows he will make it worse, but in so doing corrupts himself and falls ever farther, the lengths he has gone to and how hideous he has become to fit himself to his ideal, why is he even pushing himself so hard towards this imaginary thing?

Lyric Explanation

Should I stay? Should I go? Should I run far away

To the point where I can't even see the universe?

I know I'm killing time

And baby that's not fine

This represents most of Nikolai's turmoil not just in the fic but throughout the whole bsd storyline- Nikolai has realized after he faked his death that to achieve his supposed ideal he must sacrifice the one person he loves the most, and he keeps debating it over and over even after it's done- he's been killing time putting off handling his emotions and he feels guilt for it since half of the reason he's going so far, barreling through so many taboos is because Fyodor thought it to be beautiful. He's running from himself and he's running to lose sight of himself even further.

I'll pack it in, pack it in, never smoke anything

Never eat anything that will compromise my health

And, baby that means you, too, that means you

Like in skeleton appreciation day, Fyodor is the 'sin', the vice that Nikolai is trying to quit so hard, now that he's identified him as the object of all his terrible horrible no good homosexual feelings and all the horrors that have come with his relationship to the demon. He's just. Really. Really bad at it, and clearly even killing him is doing no good at stopping this cycle.

It's impossible to pin-point, you were like a fat joint

I cannot remember you back in November

Never gonna allocate all of this dark hate

Stuck in the middle, middle of it

Give it up, give it up, give it up for lent

Take a break, pack it in, take it out to the bin

Isn't it counterfeit? Take a hit a little bit

Wasn't it not worth it?

I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna even know

Why you haven't even sold our band of gold

Isn't it counterfeit? Take a hit a little bit

Wasn't it not worth it? Whoa

Nikolai never truly knows what to believe when it comes to Fyodor. His memory is subjective, his memory is incomplete, he knows he's the least objective source and at this point he's gone so far down this hole he can't even recognize what Fyodor was meant to look like in old pictures. He doesn't know what he's doing and he's losing sight of why he's doing it, he doesn't know what's a lie and what was real and what was his fault. He's asking himself, was it worth it to keep him around so as not to go into withdrawal? No, of course it wasn't, for what it's done to him. Was it worth it what Fyodor did to him, he's asking why they stayed together, he knows it was never the ideal he wanted, he knows the religion he built around Fyodor is utterly false, but he could not let go of it.

Slip up, faux pas, yet another mistake

When we blunder all I see is another thunderstorm

Brewing above the house of anarchy we share

When we have a visitor, they are visibly disturbed

They don't want to hang around in the company of you and I

And I don't blame them one iota, no I don't

As they are dysfunctional in life, they remain in death. Course, these were the kids who looked like they were about to tell their friends not to come to school tomorrow, those kids grew up to found a terrorist organization on a suicide pact, where their entire relationship was based on nihilism, alienation from the rest of the world, religious guilt, internalized homophobia, and unwavering pessimism. They're utterly clinging to each other and fucking each other up worse, but they have no future nor hope to mend themselves beyond fucking killing everyone and they are so bitterly aware of that.

In this story it stays that way, and it's awful for Sigma honestly the most, because he just has to watch this go down and down and down. Nikolai is so hurt knowing the disgust and concern Sigma has for him, but it's always been him and Fedya against the world, so. He chooses the corpse, though he knows he can't blame Sigma for leaving, though he knows it will only make life worse.

I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna

I don't wanna be your personal assistant

You'll meet my resistance everyday, oh

What's it gonna take to make it crystal clear to you we are through?

I'm angrily surprised at you

I don't wanna, I don't wanna be like this

Back then—yes, maybe, now it's crazy

We're no good for one another, no, no, no

I don't wanna, I don't wanna act like this

You know I wanna be free

I want to be free

Yeah, this is the whole reason he wanted Fyodor dead- to love is brainwashing, it's servitude. Nikolai knew he would do utterly anything for Fyodor, he's seen this and he's realized it the second he found himself on that stage ready to fucking cut himself in half to please him, and it disgusted him, he tries to quit it, he tries to quit it even if it means killing him but then he's still there a month later cleaning and dressing and kissing and sleeping with and kneeling before that empty corpse and he realizes maybe this isn't something he can get away from! It's not going to work, though he's fighting against it with all his might it's utterly useless and his own mind is the prison, the only cure a gun.

I love this song so much and I have Fyogol brainrot. They are so fucking doomed and I don't know what to do other than make gay little song analyses about it so<3333

[catboyshinsou]

sick headcanons!

anon request: i love your writing smmm !! 🥺 can i request mha sick hcs where they take care of the reader when they don’t feel well 🥺 you choose who !! <3333

a/n: sorry it took so long <//3

pairings: Kaminari, Kirishima, Tokoyami and Monoma x sick,g/n!reader

warnings: none rlly, mention of throwing up in monoma, slight manga spoilers

can be seen platonically and romantically <3

kaminari:

Tbh i think he’d be quite Useless

Just rlly panicky n stuff bc what the fuck does one do with a sick person???

*walks into your dorm* “hey y-n wanna- WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOK TERRIBLE”

*you in a blanket and not having enough energy to be offended* “i think i’m dying” “y/n WHAT”

He’d try his best regardless tho

He goes to sato and helps with doing something soothing and welcoming

On his way back to your dorm he passes aizawa and tells him you’re sick in THE worst way

“Oh yeah Aizawa-sensei, y/n is dying-” “THEY’RE WHAT”

Kami would definitely storm into the room with him and be just as worried

What if it was something really serious??? Like the plague?????

They find you just laying in bed, sniffling and groaning

Turns out it wasn’t the plague and just a bad flu

Flu with its whole jazz, you had a fever of 38C and you could barely move

Aizawa got you excused from classes for about a week and left again

Kami just stood there with his soup and went “oh thank god you're not dying”

like i said i think he'd be useless but try his best

he checks up on you every half hour either in person or via text during classes

he brings you stuff like blankets and foods even though you can't taste any of them or have any type of appetite

but! thanks to the fridge in your room you just had snacks for about… forever

he gave you extra attention too

sometimes he'd just sit on the ground and talk about his day and theories while you just laid under your blanket

you appreciated it though

except for aizawa, sato and tsuyu nobody came over and even they just came in every few hours

kami stayed for hours on end and even tried to convince aizawa to let him sleep over so he could “watch over you” incase you “stopped breathing”

it's not like you slept much when he was around anyway, nights were not ideal for a good rest on a sick day

it was endearing seeing him lay on a futon on the floor and poking you when he had to get up for class

he leaves notes and stuff to make sure you didn't get worried

did he do anything to make you feel better physically? not rlly

did he lift your spirits and make you feel less lonely? most definitely

kirishima:

hear me out

this boy is an angel when it comes to caring for people

when he got into the whole essentially self care stuff he also knows what's best for others

he was probably one of the first to notice you being ~off your game~

whether in class or just yknow vibing, he'd tap your shoulder and softly “you okay man?”

he calls everyone dude and man and bro no matter gender or anything he's just that into the manliness stuff

and yes he puts you in essentially self isolation more for yourself than for others

“your body needs to rest y/n! can't properly get better if everyone keeps bothering you!”

he calls you every night tho and he has aizawa bring you stuff when he checks up on you (he's allowed because he's the teacher ofc also as long you're a UA student like one of your legal guardians which is like a dad and dads can see their kids sick right?)

stuff ranges from just bowls of soup to compresses to the handmade ointment against a sore throat to like socks he knitted or something his parents sent in bc he told them you were sick

yes this boy tells his parents you're sick

i mean someone probably told yours but like twice the parents means twice the comfort!

alternatively if your parents are *cough* he'd tell his parents and put you on the phone with them because everyone needs some parental love from time to time (don't act tough about it, he's gonna make you cry and tell you how manly you are for doing so)

when you're back on your feet he probably still treats you like you're about to fall over for like two or three days more

he praises you for how well you did during your essential quarantine and when you say you didn't do anything he says some cheesy stuff about manliness

“bro i'm so proud of you for getting through it!” “i didn't do anything kiri-” “don't say that! it takes so much energy and manliness to keep in self isolation and get better, you did amazing”

tokoyami:

i love birds

also look at baby toko he's so cute

do birds get sick?

anyways

tokoyami is like.. helpful but tries to be undercover about it

he's not gonna ignore you or anything

he's the type to like silently nudge teachers into your area so they could see you were clearly sick and send you back to the dorms to rest

but he'd never actually ask you or tell anyone

it would ruin his whole ~vibe~

dark shadow tells him to tell someone and he rlly does especially if he sees you struggling through it in class but he's also just not great at talking with people so a nudge or “secret note” will have to do

it does work, you're in your dorm right before combat training because mic had sent you up and excused you

mic is sweet he said he'd send aizawa up when he finds him but that you should rest

he also tells you that you have some really attentive friends

you're at this point just letting the sickness take over you so you have no idea what he just said (you heard him but the words just didn't register in your brain)

you get into bed and the first thing you do is sleep through afternoon classes

tokoyami is only at 50% today and so is dark shadow

tokoyami swears he isn't worried, the teachers are capable of taking care of you in an appropriate manner so that you will recover in no time

dark shadow on the other hand is all gittery and doesn't wanna focus on anything but you

off topic but i just think dark shadow is tokoyamis way of showing emotions or well like… like his internal thoughts? not like his internal dialogue but ya know his feelings

so he can act all goth and dramatic but dark shadow is a good way of still giving some of his feelings an output

back to you

so training is over and so is your nap

but you wake up to pillows, stuffed animals, blankets and more pillows surrounding you

half of them weren't yours either

they laid around you like some kind of pillow fortress jusy surrounding you and making sure you didn't hit your head on the wall or fall from the bed

it kinda felt like a nest- oh

you tried getting up, your head almost immediately flinging uoh back into bed but you needed to see if a certain someone would come back in to build the nest

“dark shadow, be quiet we don't want them to w- oh you're up”

tokoyami came in with more stuffies and an extra blanket like it was a siberian winter and your rooms only source of warmth was an almost dying candle

“are those yours?” you asked half asleep, your head absolutely booming

you could barely keep your eyes open, that's how exhausted you were but you made an effort to smile at the bird and his shadow

“uh no, yaomomo-san insisted on making some blankets for you and hagakure-san, ashido-san and uraraka-san gave me all their stuffed animals when they heard i was paying you a visit-” “but the blue star blanket and teardrop pillow are from fumi!! he brought them from home because he can't sleep without them!!” “DARK SHADOW!”

you only chuckled before breaking out in a cough again

aizawa came in some time after and had a hard time finding you under all the blankets and stuffies and even offered to tell the class to stop bothering you

but you just laid there all cozy and told him to let them be

“it's how he shows affection, it's nice”

monoma:

oh so the 1A student got sick??? huh??? I thought 1A was invincible hUUUUUUH??? *manic laughter*

coughs

anyways

so basically the two hero courses are more “in tune” after the joint training

they often have dinners together and it isn't rare to see kendo come over with monoma and tetsu^4

she came over to hang with the girls and tetsu had training sessions with kiri

nobody rlly knew why monoma tagged along though

all he did was spout about how average everything is for the “superior hero course”

he did secretly like the classes growing together more though

he'd sit on the couch with you and occasionally laugh about something else other than his team beating yours during joint training

one day he came in and didn't see you at your usual spot

“ehhhh??? where's the only tolerable person in this course??”

used to his lowkey insults deku pointed you out at the dinner table, head resting on your hand and looking over some homework

“y/n what are you- oh my god you look horrible”

“thanks monoma, you're as nice as ever”

your face was drained of any colour, eyes heavy lidded and you could barely control the pen that scribbled over the paper

he tried grabbing your wrist but pulled back immediately

you were way too hot and the fact that he noticed by grabbing your wrist meant that it was more than just a high fever

“is 1A that incompetent that they couldnt even notice their classmate falling sick??? can you guys do anything but trouble???”

“shut up monoma, we tried getting them to bed but they insisted on finishing up first and there's nothing in the world that can get y/n away from what they've put their head to”, kaminari yelled from the living room space

how were you gonna get anything finished if your head was falling off your shoulders if you didn't hold it up

class 1A really was incompetent

“sato-san, give me a hand”

sato, who was currently cooking up dinner, just held out his hand and some type of chocolate bar which monoma grabbed and ate up

“this is incredibly sweet, i don't know how you do it”

it's become like half a routine for monoma to copy quirks for whatever reason

kiri and tetsu used it to determine which quirk was handier

uraraka’s quirk made cleaning up after a game night easier

it was training for all of them

monoma could train his copy and the others could measure how much they've grown from his reaction to it

anyways

sato’s quirk kicked in and he lifted you up over his shoulder

“monoma!” you could barely lift your voice, faintly kicking

before you knew it he placed you on your bed in your dorm and sighed

“you're lighter than i thought”

“i think i'm gonna throw up”

so you hurled into your garbage can

monoma held back whatever there was to hold back

(he was very much disgusted but even he knew that this wasn't the time to let any type of negative emotion show)

“jolly gees y/n, what did you have for breakfast?!”

you laid in bed as he passed you a water bottle

“you need to drink something, you lost a lot of water”

“awe caring for me, monoma?”

“this is for general health, y/n. i would never as much as care for anyone, especially not a brat from 1A. who even knew that any of you could fall sick huh?! weren't you supposed to be superior to the rest of us??!”

he said all of that while putting a blanket on you and opening the window for fresh air

“god you 1A fools really are incompetent!”

he went into your bathroom and soaked a small towel in water

“i'm only doing this so you don't infect anyone. god you could cause an epidemic at UA and in the end 1b would fall victim to you as well! this is all just for the general well-being!”

you didn't even hear what he was saying anymore

with a half empty bottle next to your head, you slept peacefully

monoma let out a deep breath when he saw you

“i'd never care for anyone in 1A, i'm better than that…”

he whispered those words to himself

(he did care)

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

Stay.

DIN DJARIN. ┃ THE MANDALORIAN.

❝ words: about 1.8k

❝ summary: The first time Din says his name and why he does it.

❝ a / n: this work wasn't supposed to be this long, but well... As always, feedback is appreciated!

Gif credits to the author.

MASTERLIST. ⎢ MULTIFANDOM TAG LIST.

“Where are you going?”

Suddenly stopping your steps halfway over the ramp, you can feel Mando's curiosity through the modulator. Although you can't see his face and he doesn't need to move his head to study you from top to bottom, you can notice his helmet slightly shifting. It's the first time you abandon the Razor Crest —to accompany him to civilization— since he rescued you from Trask, a few months ago.

You were sold by your parents to a Quarren like a pet. He had you slaved for years, confined in a joint for the ones of his same race. He forced you to be kind, to be pleasant, and to dance for them, as if you were part of a show for their simple delight. Until Mando found you by casualty. At first, he just set you free. He didn't ask questions, he didn't care about what you were going to do, nor about where you were going to go. But that little thing —his son, apparently—, he was bringing inside a camel color bag everywhere, got attached to you for some unknown reason.

He hasn't been a man of many words since you know him, and he wasn't really in agreement with you joining their adventures, but your silent company began to be something positive for him when he started to trust in you.

“To Nevarro”. Your reply doesn't play hard to get, about taking another step.

Even if the beskar covers his shoulders, you can see how they get tensed by your response. He doesn't like that idea, he prefers you to stay in the Razor, but he also knows you're decided to follow him. You need to see what's around you. You're prepared. He has trained you from time to time, so you know how to defend yourself and how to fire the blaster hanging on your waist. Mando doesn't have to worry about you, as a matter of fact.

The child emits something similar to a happy giggle, being in accordance with your decision, drawing your attention towards him.

“Fine”. He reluctantly grants. “Stay behind me, and stay close”.

Two simple commands you can obey for your good.

The road to the city is silent, but not the kind of comfortable silence you're used to. You could cut the tension with your knife and you aren't sure why he is so worried —you'd understand it if you hadn't learned anything about self-defense.

While he attends his meeting, you're sitting at the next table with the child, trying to eat some kind of dense soup that spoils your appetite more than give you the desire to ask for another one. Putting apart the bowl from your sight, you can't help but raise your eyes to the corner of your right. Humans laugh. Your pupils dilate at a group of people like you. Among the crowd inside the place, full of different races, you see them. It's the first time in years that you cross with someone of your same kind and you must've breathed too loudly for a second because you have called Mando's attention.

Fastly putting your gaze away, somewhere over the bar, you try to dissimulate the anxiety for talking to them about anything, just talk. You know you can do it, not because of him, but because of your lack of social skills. After this uncomfortable moment, the bounty hunter is compelled to finish his reunion. He knew it wasn't a good idea, but for the wrong reasons. When he tells you that you're coming back to the ship, you don't go against it, standing up under the attentive look from one of the humans. A man older than you, who isn't able to put his emerald-green eyes away from you, when you walk closer with the child clung to your chest. Mando notices it, not swallowing a threatening grunt towards his table, and causing you some shivers. What has been that?

Back in the Razor Crest, you feel tiny. You have that same feeling stuck within your heart as when you were handcuffed in Trask. He hasn't said anything. He normally explains to you his new mission —your new adventure—, not going into many details, but this time he has just remained a holy silence that is killing you.

“I'm sorry”. These two words have been dancing through your head since you have jumped to cyberspace.

Mando turns around his seat towards yours at his right, tilting his helmet a little disconcerted. Stretching a hand over himself, pressing a couple of buttons before pushing forward a lever, he rests both gloved palms on his thighs. “We speak the same language, but I don't follow you”.

As you continue feeling more and more little under his gaze covered by the grey helmet, you sigh closing your eyes for a second trying to remember what you used to say the few times you disrespected a Quarren. It's not like you don't feel it, but you don't know what else to say. He is still staring at you waiting for a reply, or anything actually when you open your eyes again.

“I will… stay on the Razor next time”.

As soon as he understands, he turns his seat completely to you. “You can leave whenever you want. You're not my prisoner, and I'm not your master”.

For some reason, his words hurt you like a shot straight to your chest. And he must have noticed it by the down-hearted way you have to lick your lips, nodding with your chin just one time, before getting up to abandon the cockpit quietly. It wasn't what you wanted to hear. You were expecting some comfort words, but what you have obtained is an invitation to go. And you're having the strong desire to accept it, now aware that your company doesn't mean the same that his company means for you.

Grabbing a dusty bag from a compartment, you pick up the few things you have. Some clothes and a small cushion to sleep. Holding the tears by closing your eyelids, you drag your back down against the cold wall to the floor, sitting next to a big iron box —with who-knows-what inside it. Flexing your knees towards your chest, you wrap your legs with both arms, resting your cheek on them. You don't know where the Razor is going, but you have decided to stay on that planet.

Mando's heavy steps going downstairs provoking a metallic noise make you turn your back towards him, resting it against the box and trying to not continue sobbing. But, although he's pretending to replenish ammo, you can feel him looking at you sideways under his armor. And you hear him exhale slowly, closing the gun cabinet and bowing his head a few inches with pure resignation. Immediately as he swings to your position, you clean the tears wetting your cheeks with the back of your hands. The last thing you want right now is to give him the pleasure of letting him know he has made you cry.

“It wasn't my inten—”.

“I don't care”. You cut him off, resting your chin on one of your knees, turning your face away from his. “You don't have long to worry about me. I'll stay on your next stop”.

Mando continues in silence, feeling lucky you can't watch his hands closing into two furious fists. He didn't mean to talk to you like he has done, he didn't choose the correct words to say and he doesn't know how to fix it. How to fix you. If he only could tell you he was jealous because of your reaction to looking at other humans not in the same way you look at him, he would tell it to you. And for the first time since he was recruited by the Mandalorians, he needs to show his face to someone —to you. He wants to try to explain how he really feels with his eyes, conscious that there isn't enough vocabulary in your language to express it.

Mando can't ask you to stay, he doesn't have the right. Certainly not after what you have been through all these past years. But he wants to. He wants to do it. He wants to ask you to stay by his side.

“Din”.

The word with unknown sense falls from his lip across the modulator. You tilt your head in confusion, doing your best to read the most imperceptible gestures of his body under the beskar. His chest rises and falls a little more rapidly than normal. His hands are hidden under his cape, behind his rigid back. But there's no tension covering his whole anatomy. It's remorse what you're receiving from him. A sensation you had forgotten.

“My name is Din”.

A heavy feeling within your belly takes you over, impulsing you to stand up on your feet. Your eyes are somewhat widened because of the unexpected approach.

“You can… stay with us, as long as you want”. He whispers trying to relax his posture and don't feel vulnerable.

And with that said, he takes you aback a little more when you watch him bring his hands to the front, about to do something with them. For a moment, you guess he's going to clap to wrap things up, but what he does causes you to part your lips breathing through them in surprise. With the help of his left fingers, he ungloves his right hand to offer it to you. You're so absent fixated on his skin, as if it has hypnotized you, that it takes you some second to realize he wants you to shake it like a formal introduction.

As soon as your hands get in touch, you have to gulp a soft gasp. A shiver warms your body urging you to take a step closer to Din, invading his personal space, although he doesn't seem disgusted with the idea. Now, you comprehend it. You know what has been running through his mind since you came back to the Razor. You can smell the light jealousy, even the desire he was carrying since the meeting. He grunted to the man because he was envious of him and the way you were looking at him.

So you are somewhat pleased he has made the effort to discover himself without disrespecting or disobeying the Mandalorian creed, only to make you feel better.

“I wanna stay”.

Mando doesn't speak, but by the way the fabric of his cape shifts around his neck you can perceive his lips curving in a smile, as his throat gets relaxed under the piece of clothing. Covering his hand again with the glove, he points with a gesture of his helmet to upstairs to the cockpit.

“I'll be up there if you need me. You should rest”.

Pressing your lips, you nod in agreement as the door of the compartment is opened by the child. You haven't let him sleep and now it's your moment to sing him another lullaby.

[clarkisacorgi]

No Laws, Just Cops

A bouncer runs in to some interesting people working on Ceres.

Rating: T Tags: Pre Expanse, Chance encounters, Ceres, Belter Creole, Original Characters, Meet Cute I guess?, Strip club/bar Relationship: Eventually there will be one

Author Note: This is just the first part of a larger fic that I'm chipping away at. I felt like this was enough to post as a first part on tumblr.

"I cannot believe you sold that man, I saved up for MONTHS to get that model kit. Now what am I gonna do in my downtime? Get shitfaced at some bar or watch dumbasses get themselves killed on the net?" The tone of the quickly approaching voice was sadly all too familiar to Truck as she looked up through the moving lanes of bodies crossing in front of the club. Truck wasn't too fond of the short weasel-y inner or his too-tall-to-be-an-inner buddy. No one except maybe the cops on Ceres knew if the guy was a rock-hopper or from Ganymede, and had no OPA ink. She would have rather barred them from the joint than have to see- or more annoyingly hear- them come in bickering like an old married couple.

"Oye I better not have to deal with a fight tonight, to pochuye ke? Zákomang was out here already cleaning up some koyo and thought they could touch the girls again." Trucks' voice always sounded hoarse and the edge of belter creole on it only made it sound more like a burnt out speaker box on the docks. The two men turned to the bouncer and gave affirmations in their own way, the inner nodding and his buddy giving a quick handsign back as they walked past her station into the club.

Ceres had too many cops for the belter woman to care too much about having rope and stuff out in front of the Hayworth to keep people out. She just mostly kept an eye out for the slippery ones and shooed them away as necessary. It was easy considering that she was very strong, and had the bulk of an Earther from teen years spent on earth with the height of a Belter from growing up on Ceres. It made her a very scary looking belter to square up with, and she only made it worse by sounding like she hadn't spoken in years. It was the one thing she hated about her mom, the cancer that had almost completely taken out her vocal cords before it was caught came from her earther side of the family. Despite the inconvenience and pain it had given her it served a purpose in her job now so it wasn't all bad she guessed.

Truck was always glad that the little club had never caught on with the OPA crowd, not as a regular meeting spot anyway. It meant that she was free to bar and allow people as she pleased without worrying about who the POS that caught her attention was affiliated with for the most part. Sure, she was careful to not rough up Dawe's people or Star Helix cops more than necessary, but no one did business in the Hayworth and the owner Esper kept it that way. Seeing some tatted OPA men walking her way the bouncer made sure they knew she had set sights on them, before catching a glance in her periphery of an unexpected sight coming her direction.

"Y'know the rules, ke? I don't wanna work too hard tonight, been too many zakomang out here already." The rusty words were meant for the OPA, but Truck's eyes were locked onto a Star Helix officer in an earther hat who managed to be taller than her. He was For sure a Belter then, but not someone she recognized except by reputation and the piece of felt perched on his head. Truck squared her shoulder in his direction, though the belter man was taller he wouldn't stand a chance if fist flew between them and she wanted to make sure he knew she was well aware of the fact. The slight quirk of his lips, somewhere between a smirk and a grimace flashed as he raised his hands from his pockets in a combined gesture that made it clear the message was received.

"No trouble, loud and clear. Just here to see Esper about a situation with one of her girls, in and out." The Helix officer didn't have the patois Truck was used to hearing from a belter and it caused her to look the man up and down again with a slight cock to her head like she was considering an offer. The silence lasted a long beat while the man shifted on his feet, hand returning to pockets looking at the woman with very mild curiosity. She was used to being looked over like a spectacle whenever someone unfamiliar rolled around but something about it this time wasn't quite so easy to throw off. Trying to ignore the feeling, Truck signed him an affirmative and motioned him back with a tip of her head.

"She's in back ask the bartender to take you and make sure you knock, Ke?"

As the Zakomang registered the affirmative to go ahead he gave the belter woman a nod, this time she could tell that the quirk of his mouth was a smirk. The tall lanky figure retreated through the Hayworth's doors and Tank let herself wonder briefly if he really was smirking at her or some thought in his head. She heard a lookie-loo from the corner around the bar sneer out a venomous "Welwala" after the Helix was well out of earshot. It was a term she'd heard in combination with the description of a belter in an earth made hat plenty of times and now she could put a face with that description at least. She'd think he was sort of handsome if he wasn't one of the plethora of cops on the station.

[anxietysroomsupport]

Hypermobile anon here. First, thank you so much. It's just nice to know there's someone here for me. And to give a little more info, I have a serious problem where if I'm not currently in pain. I don't remember how bad it was. I know everybody does this, but my brain literally checked out as I was going to bed recently and I fell on the floor. I nearly forgot to tell my physical therapist.about it because it didn't really hurt. So, I can't do the pain scale very well, and I never remember (1/2)

(2/2) It just makes it sort of hard for pain relief when I don't know I'm going to need it and don't have the energy when I do. Also, on the vitamin subject, I know that I've had vitamin d issues before (bad heat exhaustion and allergy scares = going outside less), bad enough that I was close to being diagnosed with hypothyroidism. I'm not sure about the others, but I do know I'm not amazing healthy, so? I take calcium pills for the vitamin d, though. Again, thank you guys for all your help.

.

We just got a bill from my PT place that says we owe money that we can't pay. They told us up front how much it would be with our insurance, and my mom's been paying each time, but it says we owe 177 dollars. Sure, it's not a lot, but we're not rich and trying to send a sibling to college. If we can't get this sorted out. I can't just not go. 10 exercises I can do at home and 5 appointments is not enough to help a chronic disorder. I cant focus and I have practice in 30 mins. -Hypermobility anon

Same day but later when I'm feeling a little better (my director was very supportive though so that's nice), I'd seen the letter and heard my parents talking a bit, but my mom told be as we got to school for rehearsal about PT. I got upset, and I felt bad because I could tell she felt bad because she didn't expect me to be upset, and in the heat of the moment I said "chronic illness" in front of my mom for the first time. She loudly (not quite yelling) (1/?) - Hypermobility anon

said to me "That is the most self-pitying thing I've ever heard. Chronic illnesses are like cancer". Sure, I probably should've said disorder and not illness, but I'm scientifically right. Then I said "It is, it's chronic pain, I am always in pain" and she said "Well then clearly PT isn't helping anyway" - I??? When I went in after 15 minutes after another girl, since we were both there for an hour and a half, I decided to stop trying too much to hide my crying (useful masks) (2/?) -HSD anon

since the other girl was in the hall to eat, and when I managed to explain to the director, she was understanding and nice, and when I said chronic, she said that I should never have to live with that, especially at my age. And when I mentioned not being able to sing at that moment from my crying, she pointed out how I was singing an empowering song that was about standing against the bad stuff in life, and I was perfect for it. I know my mom was just mad, but it just drained me.

Sorry I keep sending asks so often, I just feel like telling someone this. I decided to put 'zebra' in my bio. It's a thing that people with EDS and HSD sometimes like to call themselves. I like it, so even though I just have my name and pronouns, plus a random joke, in my bio, I added it. It just feels like a step in the right direction to remembering that I don't need google to tell me I'm dealing with this every 5 minutes. Accepting it, I guess. :) -HSD anon

.

My sleep schedule just keeps getting worse and I think it's my ADHD combined busy days and pain but I just never want to sleep anymore. I can't, I don't want to, and it hurts physically and mentally to just lie there and see if I can fall asleep. 80% sure my circadian rhythm changed to sleep at about 2 am but I get up at 7 and have a chronic disorder that's getting worse because of this I *need sleep*. And I'm so scared I'll mess up, want to make a side blog for it but want to make one (1/2)

for something happy first because I always figured that if I had side blogs they would be ask blogs or for fandoms or whatever. But I got a little better at not caring what other people think, so I haven't really needed one for fandom. But I looked through the tag and felt so comforted by some of the stuff that I just think it would help me. Maybe I'm just extra bad tonight because I went outside but also talked about it a fair amount with a friend I hadn't seen recently who didn't know. -HSD

.

I wanna talk to my physical therapist about hip braces because I tried a knee one we have and it honestly helps, but my hips are worst so I wanna see if it would help, but they're pretty expensive. It's hard to find dual hip braces, from what I've seen in my research, and even though one more than the other, both cause me issues. Idk, I'm conflicted, because it could help but is it worth all the effort? Also, even if it's under clothing it's still physical evidence (1/2) -HSD anon

(2/2) of my "invisible" disorder. Also, stopping exercises for a few days because of not feeling well from my covid shot reminded me of just how much time I spend on them, so it's another thing to deal with this. . . Idk, sometimes I just wonder if it would be better to just deal with it. I still have pain anyway, though it might be a little better. Less often, maybe? I don't really remember. It's not stressing at the front of my mind all the time, but the back of it. I'm just conflicted. -HSD

.

HSD anon here, idk if I mentioned it in an ask already, but recently I had a small breakdown because I was watching something where a character was in a car accident, as was trying to push through having trouble walking even with a hip brace. After a minute, I registered it and just thought "That could be my future". My joints had already been acting up and then they got worse, so I don't know if it was cause and effect? But I don't exactly know what to call it other than a trigger. (1/2)

Physical and emotional effect, at least I'm assuming on physical because I've had a bad reaction to something similar before, but like, I don't have trauma, I think it's more fear of the future. And I don't want to use trigger incorrectly, it's insensitive to those who actually have triggers. I'm just so confused.

Forgot to sign the last ask with 2/2 and HSD, whoops.

.

Hfnsiwk I'm not ready to walk into PT tomorrow and say that I don't think months of PT have been helping but I have no way to be completely sure because for all I know it's the weather since this is the first year I've known/it's been noticeable. Maybe it's just change, I don't know, but it just feels like such a waste of time if it really didn't help. Plus, I'd stop, and while that'd be great, I do enjoy being stronger, even if it didn't help pain. I have 12 hours and a bad pain day idek. -HSD

.

Hi Hypermobility Anon,

I think I found all your asks and got them in the correct order.  And found your last ask!

I’m so glad you kept writing in.  I think you should go ahead and make your side blog - you definitely have enough material for it.  Wanting to make a happy side blog also is a great goal to have, but if you don’t know what it will be yet, don’t let that prevent you from doing something you know you want to do and that will probably help you.  

You are dealing with So. Much.  Your mom especially sounds like she just is not ready to accept the situation.  It’s not self-pity to state your actual conditions.  It’s just reality.  

Forgetting about pain is normal, and really all you can do is try to write it down or make some kind of note about it in the moment or immediately after, so you can refer to it later.  Maybe you can track your pain events in your phone notes.

I think your idea to add “zebra” to your bio is a good one, this is part of your life and just something you have to deal with.  It sounds like you’re finding a community for this.  

Sleep schedules are tricky, and feeling like you desperately need to sleep can make it so stressful that it starts a vicious little cycle.  Some strategies to get around this are First, remember that just resting is okay and helpful too, even if you don’t fall asleep.  Letting your body lay there to rest is good for you.  

Second, if you’ve spent several minutes laying down without falling asleep, its okay to get up and walk around, or any small light exercise that’s comfortable for you.  The goal with this one is to get out of the bed for a bit.  It will help your brain to re-learn that the bed is for sleeping only, not for laying awake.  That association can help signal to your brain to start its sleep-process when you get into bed at night.

Third, it’s really common to have a changing circadian rhythm during your teens and twenties.  That’s just a thing that happens and you can’t do much about it, so just try not to worry too much.  Sleep when it feels right and when you can, instead of trying to force yourself to sleep when you’re “supposed” to.  

If hip braces would help you, you should definitely at least mention it to your physical therapist.  You might research online for any used ones as well.  A physical sign that you have pain can have good and bad consequences, but I think the good consequence of being in less pain far outweighs any others.

The triggering event you described is not so much a trigger as it is just a genuinely really upsetting situation.  You related really strongly to the character you were watching, because they’re dealing with similar problems to you, and to problems you could have in the future.  It’s a lot to process.  But while you could potentially be in a car accident, remember that television is made to dramatize events and probably made it seem a lot more difficult and scary than it really would be.   

Since we know you sometimes forget your pain, it’s safe to say that the exercises are helping you manage it, and you say that they’ve made you stronger in general.  Those are good things, and I would recommend you continue the exercises you can do on your own even if you end of ending  your physical therapy sessions.  We don’t know yet if your pain might have gotten even worse without therapy.  You’ll have to find that out on your own if you stop exercising, and then decide whether it’s more worth it to you to continue exercising or to live with the pain.  Whichever you choose, it’s Your choice, Your body.  Take care of yourself. <3

-bun

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty

Table of Content or Part Forty-Nine

Wattpad

Word count: 4.9K

Warning(s): Explicit language, Violence, drug abuse

A/N: so this is annoying, I know, but as I was writing this chapter, I may or may not have made a plot hole that I went back in the story and filled in so it wouldn't contradict with this chapter, I think most of you will know what it is, I'd tell you now but I don't wanna spoil the chapter. Anyway, sorry if that bugs you guys but I was writing and it just flowed out but I did go back so the chapter it was first brought up in matches what happens in this one so it's not confusing for future readers.

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@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Nikki, happy birthday to you!" We sing as Nikki's about to blow the candles out of his cake.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Steven interjects, holding a joint above one of the lit candles, lighting the end of it on fire. "Okay."

He takes a drag of his blunt as Nikki blows his candles out, Tommy patting his shoulders.

"A whole twenty-eight years and you're still kickin', man." Tommy tells him and he grins.

"Who'da thought." Nikki adds, laughing, taking a sip of his homemade margarita.

"Okay, who wants cake?" I ask them, getting up from Tansy's dining room table to go get a knife from the kitchen.

I come back in to see Nikki and Tommy cutting at random parts of the cake with their switch blades.

"Guys, c'mon." Sharise scolds them, lightly hitting their arms before plucking the cake and icing covered blades from their hands.

"Boo, mom." Nikki sarcastically lets out with Tommy and Steven both echoing in "boo!"

"Hey, you're the good child." Sharise snaps her fingers at Stevie. "Don't let Chip and Dale contaminate you." She states to him, motioning to Nikki and Tommy, brushing past me to go to the kitchen to clean their switch blades off.

I give pieces of cake out, which isn't that much work since there's only seven of us in total: Nikki, me, Vince, Sharise, Tommy, Steven and Tansy, and once we're done eating, Tansy's insisting on presents.

"Alright, time for presents in the living room." She claps her hands together and we all head there, Nikki falling back on a couch and pulling me onto his lap.

"I'm gonna let you open 'em, babe." He tells me, patting at my hips where I shift to rest on one of his spread knees.

"Nikki, opening them is the best part." I argue.

"Which is exactly why I'm letting you do it." He replies, smiling tightly, but I know it's really because he doesn't feel like doing it.

I just roll my eyes playfully and Tansy organizes the presents around us.

"Okay, great and mighty one, which present would you like to be opened first?" I ask him and he leans over a little to see past me to examine the various shapes and sizes of his gifts.

"I want...that one." He points in the direction of a small, rectangle shaped box wrapped in news paper and Tansy hands it to me.

"This one's from me and Stevie." She adds.

"Thanks." I tell them, taking it from her and I dig into the paper and unravel it, seeing a black guitar pick, with a tiny name etched into it with white ink, I have to squint to make it out, but when I see who it's from, I know Nikki will love it.

I hand it to him, and he struggles to get his eyes to focus before looking at Tansy.

"Marc Bolan?" He asks her, impressed. "I didn't even think you knew who Marc Bolan was." He says to Tansy.

"I didn't until he died and Vince went into a depression over it for a few months." She explains. "But Stevie and I were thinking of what to get you, and then Doc helped me get in contact with his wife earlier this year and she still has his things and sent us that for you." She explains.

"Aww, that's cool." Sharise pipes.

"Guys, you didn't have to do that." I state.

"Aw, man, thanks, guys, I really like it." Nikki tells the two blondes, keeping himself from tearing up as he plays it off by clearing his throat, handing the pick to Tommy and Vince so they can look at it.

"You're welcome, dude." Steven replies.

"Alright, next is from..." Tansy looks at the name tag attached to a box wrapped in black paper. "...Tommy and Heather."

"It's kinda for you and Vivian." Tommy tells us. "We were gonna wait for Christmas but I figured it'd be better for your birthday."

"Is it raunchy?" I ask him to make sure.

"No." He assures me, smiling excitedly as I start unwrapping it.

I get it unwrapped and open the box to see a thickly packed book, and open it up to see an old picture of Nikki and I, visibly scowling at each other, looking like we're in the middle of an argument. He's in one of their old stage outfits they played the clubs in, in their early days and his black hair is completely covering his eyes, while I'm not wearing a trace of makeup, my hair pulled into a ponytail and my middle finger in his face.

Under the picture reads "The Whisky, '81."

I start flipping through it, seeing more candids and pictures of the two of us, featuring the guys, Tansy, their girlfriends at the time, groupies, Ozzy and his band, us with Sharon, the guys of Ratt, fans, us standing in front of important landmarks in other countries and different states we've visited in the U.S., our wedding photos, our reception pictures, "Shout at the Devil" era, "Theater of Pain" era...practically an entire montage of some of our biggest highlights and smaller, more intimate moments in between, featuring all of our friends and people we look up to and admire, all up to this year because there's even pictures of us hanging out with them recently.

Every picture is marked with a place, month and year and I sniffle back tears.

"You were so cute." Nikki comments as I pass the album to him and he's looking at one of the first pages at a picture of me and Tansy from one of their earlier shows. "You look like a baby." He adds, chuckling, patting at my thigh and I look at Tommy, more tears spilling over my lashes.

"Viv." He starts, smiling goofily at me.

"Aww, don't cry or I'll cry." Steven states.

"I'm sorry." I laugh a little, Sharise handing me a tissue from the box on Tansy's side table beside the couch before I'm getting up to see Tommy.

He's sitting on the edge of a comfy chair, and welcomes me with open arms when I sit across his long, skinny legs, and hug him as tightly as I possibly can.

Tansy leans over to look at the pictures with Nikki and she smiles.

"This was the night you lost your virginity, Viv!" Tansy pipes, holding the album up to show me a picture of me with my hand on ice--because Nikki slammed my fingers in my car door on accident--looking like I want to strangle Nikki and Vince as they try to wrap my hand up like a bandage, using a sock, which didn't work out anyway.

"You lost your virginity with one hand?" Steven asks me and Nikki and I exchange looks.

"It was her first time so it's not like she was doing much work, anyway." Tansy states.

"Okay, we can change the subject." I reply, awkwardly.

"She was doing plenty without needing her hands." Nikki insinuates reminiscently. "That's when I learned her little prude act is a cover up."

"Babe." I complain as Tommy squeezes his eyes shut, not wanting to imagine me and Nikki having sex.

"Fine." Nikki chuckles, nudging at Tansy to get him another present.

Once he's done unwrapping the rest of them, Sharise and I are picking up the wrapping paper and throwing it in the garbage can, and cleaning the place up while the guys talk in the living room.

By the time we're finished, we're heading back to the living room and I'm sitting down next to Nikki, laying my head on his thigh because I'm sleepy.

His fingers brush against the red strands of my hair soothingly, and I maintain on the brink of sleep, but still able to hear everyone's conversation and sudden bouts of loud laughter.

I'm nudged awake as Vince, Tommy and Steven talk about taking Nikki out to a few bars here in Malibu for his birthday.

Nikki stands up and I just put my head back down on the couch when he gets up before he's chuckling to himself.

"Let me get her to bed and I'll be out there." He tells them. "Viv, baby, c'mon, let's go to bed." He says to me and I stretch, humming softly as I wake up, sort of.

When he sees I'm not getting up, he leans down, and picks me up bridal style as Tansy points him in the direction of guest bedrooms.

My back hits the soft mattress and I feel him pulling at my jeans to get them off and I find the motivation to try to fumble to get my constricting bra off.

He sees me struggle to unbuckle it in my hazy state and scoffs a little, helping me get it undone before I'm throwing it in the floor.

He's pulling the covers back so I can curl up underneath them.

"I'll be back later, k?" He asks and I nod with my eyes still closed, getting comfortable on the bed.

"I'm sorry I'm so tired, I'll give you the best blow job ever later on." I promise him, knowing he probably expected a fun night for the both of us for his birthday. "And can you ask Sharise or Tansy if they can sleep in here with me until you get back?"

"Okay, Viv." I hear his smile in his words before his lips are pressing to my forehead for a second. "Goodnight, baby."

"G'night." I mumble.

He steps to the door and switches the light off before stepping out.

He hadn't been that affectionate since we got married.

I blamed it on the fact it on the fact that he'd "sobered" up to focus on the album and kicked heroin.

He'd gotten back on freebase, yeah, but cocaine, in any form, never made him mean or vindictive.

He would hallucinate and get scared, but he wasn't consciously mean for no reason.

Heroin, however, turned him into the devil, and by that point in his addiction he functioned better on heroin, than not, because without it in his system he just couldn't think of anything else other than getting a fix and if you weren't apart of his aid for a fix, you weren't worth his time and he let you know.

So I thought he had kicked his heroin habit for the most part because he was being nicer than usual to me but oh, no.

He felt guilty for cheating on me so he compensated by not being an asshole to me as much--yet.

It makes sense to me, now. I'd feel like shit, too, if I were telling my mistress I was going to leave my wife for her because my wife was "suffocating" and "draining the life" out of me.

Which translates to, "I'm leaving my wife because she doesn't like or contribute to my addiction."

Christmas came and Jason was Nikki's Santa Claus.

Then came New Years...which winded up being near death experience number one of two involving my safety at the hands of Sikki.

Sharise, Skylar and I pull into the driveway in Sharise's car, and she's putting it in park as I grab my few shopping bags.

"Thank you for getting me out of the house." I tell her, unbuckling.

"No problem." She replies.

"Bye-bye, Sky." I say, waving to the baby tucked safely in her carseat with her fist in her mouth, leaning closer to her to press a kiss to the bottom of her foot, causing her to smile and kick a little. "Bye, Sharise." I add, giving her a hug as best as I can.

"Bye, Viv."

"Call me when you get home to me know you got back safe."

"I will. Love you." She calls before I close the door.

"Love you, too." I shut the door with my bags in hand and step to the front door, fiddling with my keys.

Just as I step inside, I furrow my brows at the sound of Rabid dog fight, until I realize it's Nikki screaming.

"You're not making any fucking sense so just shut the fuck up!" He yells and I start cautiously walking to our bedroom, putting my ear to the door, hearing a woman crying. "Stop whining and just go fuck yourself! Fuck you! Fuck Jesus and get the fuck outta my house!" He barks louder and the door is flying open and I'm met with a distraught, jittery Vanity, who's eyes are wide as can be, and the smell of burnt cocaine nearly knocks me to the floor.

She stumbles past me and out the front door, barefoot, and I'm dropping my things to go check on her.

"Hey, do you need me to call you a cab or your driver?" I ask her as she continues to walk to our gate at the end of the driveway.

"N-No, I got it." She assures me, shakily, and I feel like I'm looking at a beaten puppy.

"Vanity, I can call someone to take you back home. It's a long way from here." I try to persuade her but she keeps shaking her head.

"I'm fi...fine, Viv, I promise." She insists.

"Do you at least want your shoes?" I ask, my thumb pointing in the direction of our house.

"No, I'm fine." She wipes her tear stained cheeks frantically. "I'll get them later."

She turns to keep walking but I look down at her feet that are only covered by her thin black stockings, then down at my shoes.

"Vanity, here." I pull my sneakers off and she watches me, her eyes struggling to keep focus as I crouch down and put them on her feet, tying them in a double knot so they won't come untied and trip her up. "You can just give them back whenever you can." I add and she gives me a nod.

I step back into the house, and don't even bother Nikki.

I don't feel like putting up with his nasty attitude.

A few hours later, I hear the bedroom door open, and he's slowly coming into the living room, turning on the T.V. and flipping it to MTV.

"Vanity was here." I say to him, turning a page in my book, as more of a statement than a question and he just stares at the television. "I don't like when she's here while I'm not around. I always come home to you two coked out and fighting. It scares me." I tell him.

"I dont know why." He mumbles and I roll my jaw.

"Because when you freebase you always end up waving a gun around." I state. "I'd hate to be the woman married to the murderer of Vanity."

"If you knew the whole story you wouldn't care if she died or not." He scoffs to himself and I furrow my brows.

"Well, then, what's the whole story?" I ask, putting the book down and he sighs out, shaking his head a little.

"She just picks fights. She likes to pick fights with me." He says and I rub my lips together.

"Well, damn, Nikki, I do that. That doesn't mean you scream at her like you do to me." I take up for her and he rolls his eyes.

"Vivian, I'm not arguing with you so just shut up." He tells me, tiredly.

"Are you back on junk?" I ask next and he let's out a heavy breath.

"Vivian." He snaps, glaring at me. "Drop it."

"I take that as a 'yes'." I mumble.

"Why the hell do you not stop when I ask you to?" He asks me sharply.

"I'll stop picking at you when you want me to, when you stop the drugs when I ask you to."

"And this is why I liked you better a few years ago because you kept your fucking mouth shut unless I wanted it open." He stands up, walking away.

"Yes, because me keeping my mouth shut out of fear of my significant other was so much better than feeling comfortable enough to voice my concerns for you." I trail behind him as he steps to the kitchen and grabs a beer from the fridge. "Nikki," I breathe out and he ignores me, causing me to cringe as he cracks open the beer bottle lid with his teeth, and before he can spit it in the floor, I'm plucking it from between his teeth. "I'm not trying to be a bitch or piss on your parade." I tell him, softly, throwing the lid away as he takes a swig of the beer, leaning against the counter. "I'm worried about you. Our friends are worried about you. Doc is worried about you."

"Doc's only worried about me because the office is on his back because I'm apart of the label's money train and if they lose me, they lose Mötley Crüe, and all the money we bring in." He states.

I feel bad, because it's true.

"I'm fine, Viv." He lies as he puts on a fake smirk that tries to tell me he has it under control, but it's really telling me he needs help...even if he doesn't realize he does.

He puts his beer on the counter beside him before pulling at my hand, tugging me to him, wrapping his arms around me and I hold him with my arms around his waist, looking up at him, trying not to gag because he smells like straight cocaine and sweat.

"I wanna write a song about you for the album." He tells me, his hand running through my hair.

"Are you being serious or deflecting from the fact I'm not very happy with you right now?" I ask, raising a brow.

"If I wanted to deflect anything I'd just bend you over and go to town." He shrugs and I cut my eyes at him.

He licks his lips before leaning down, but I put my hand over his mouth, stopping him from kissing me.

"After you get a shower and brush your teeth."

I'd hoped his spat with Vanity was the last for the day.

I shouldn't have thought that highly of him to only have one freebase session.

The house is pitch dark, not even the lamp in the living room is on.

Nikki must've cut it off when he went back to our bedroom.

I ended up falling asleep as he was taking a shower, and he didn't bother to wake me up when he was done.

I wait for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, padding over the fluffy carpet of our living room after I get off the couch and stretch.

My hands carefully feel around to make sure I don't run into anything while my feet make slow, deliberate steps.

I get to the door of our room, that isn't locked, surprisingly, and I turn the door knob.

It lets out an eerie, growling "creak" as it opens and I smell bitter drugs and hear heavy, loud breathing coming from the closet, gasps escaping between each breath as Nikki scrambles around.

I can't see anything but the very faint glow of a small tea candle in the closet that he's using to see what he does, but I know he's in there.

I take one step into our room, and a wail of the deepest fear cracks through the air before a booming gun shot chases after it.

I'm hitting the floor as fast as I can, screaming as my ears ache from the noise as he just starts shooting repeatedly, and the house shakes, my only chance of protection is getting under the bed and I rush to get there, covering my ears as my spine paralyzes with fear and more shots fire out. I hear things in our house breaking and shattering from  buckshot that flies through the open doorway as Nikki is shouting "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" with raw tears in his voice.

I keep a hand over my mouth to keep from crying too loud or else he'll open fire in this direction and keep his aim low.

I don't know if I'm hit or not, I'm scared to move around a little just to see, because he'll hear me shifting around on the carpet.

He thinks something is attacking him, he isn't thinking about it being me.

I wait for several minutes, trying not to breathe loud.

Thinking he's settled down, I shift from under the bed as quietly as I possibly can.

My ankle pops with my movement, and I immediately know I've fucked up the second he starts up again, and I feel the pressure of a smatter of shrapnel grip to my thigh and I fall on the ground, my instincts kicking in to get the hell away.

This time I crawl out of our room until I'm tucked behind the wall that leads to the living room then I'm standing and tripping over things in the floor to get to the phone in the living room, praying to God that Nikki doesn't get ballsy and get out of the closet to try to chase whatever he's hallucinating that I am, out of the house with more shots.

I'm turning on the lamp and dialing my emergency number before turning the lamp off and dragging myself to the christmas tree in the corner, holding the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" Fred croaks tiredly.

"Fred..." I whisper.

"Viv? Why the fuck are you whispering?"

"N-Nikki's got a gun." I say as calmly as I can, another "BOOM" zipping through the house and I put my hand over my mouth to keep myself from screaming.

"Vivian, what the hell is going on?!" I can tell the sound of a gun has woken him up as panic fills his voice.

"He's got a gun, he's hallucinating, I got hit with some buckshot but I don't know how much." I very quietly say.  "Don't call the cops. He'll get in trouble." I add, taking deep breaths as the pain starts to set in.

"Viv, I'm coming, alright? I'm coming, get somewhere and get still. I'm coming." He promises.

"Please, hurry, Fred, I'm scared." I plead under my breath, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I'm coming, I promise. I'm hurrying. I promise." He hangs up and a wave of quiet sobs rocks through my body, my eyes squeezing closed as I beg God to let Nikki come down.

I just got a sprinkling of metal pellets from the shell that the majority missed me, and it was in the side of my thigh, but I felt like satan had dug his nails into my leg, down to the bone.

By the time Fred's unlocking our door, and switching on the light, a angry look on his face as he has his pistol out, he heads to our bedroom before coming to me.

"He's out cold." He tells me, turning on the other light over the living room. "Holy fuck, Viv." He says and I look down at my thigh, fear gripping at my heart and I start crying.

My skin is torn to shreds, deep, black tails of metal are deep in my flesh and I'm bleeding everywhere.

"Alright, we gotta get you to the hospital." He tells me, scooping me up and my heart pounds.

"Is Nikki gonna be in trouble?" I ask him frantically, starting to get more and more worked up.

"We don't have to tell them how this happened, Vivian. You probably need fucking surgery to get that shit out of you or you're fucked. You don't have a choice." He states, carrying me out to his car.

Turns out buckshot is more brutal than I expected. I was rushed into surgery while Fred contacted Doc, and he got ahold of the guys before going to see notify Nikki he had shot his fucking wife.

Once I was finally out of surgery, they were pumping me full of morphine to ease the pain of my shredded thigh because they had to cut into more of me to dig around to get all the metal out.

"I want a divorce." I mumble to the sound of Doc and Fred talking quietly amongst themselves, as I come to, but keep my eyes shut.

"How're you feeling?" Doc asks me and I force my eyes open, squinting through my sleep.

"My husband just tried to fucking kill me. I'm not okay." I grumble, trying to sit up in the bed, expecting to feel the pain I felt before surgery from my thigh, but I don't feel anything.

I barely feel my emotions. "Am I drugged?" I ask them tiredly, glancing up at the IV drip they have me on.

Fred and Doc don't say anything, just observing my experience with the first strong drug I've been in contact with.

I lean back, actually relieved that I truly don't give a shit about anything right now.

"I get it, now." I scoff, closing my eyes.

"Vivian--"

"Did I hear Duff, earlier?" I cut Doc short. "Or was I dreaming?"

I recall hearing Duff slurring "where's he fucking at? I'll fucking kill the motherfucker? Where's he fucking at?" but can't decide if I was dreaming or if he was actually here at some point.

"He's in the waiting room with Steven and Slash." Doc informs me. "We had to get him calmed down before he got himself kicked out."

"He wants to kick Sixx's ass." Fred informs me and I smile a little to myself.

"I wanna kick Sixx's ass, too." I agree. "Go get them. I feel like I'm about to fall asleep again and I wanna see them before I go."

"Alright." Fred stands up and steps out of the room.

"The bullshit has got to stop, Doc." I tell him, hoarsely. "The heroin. The coke. The alcohol. All of it. I'm getting tired of fighting." I admit and he let's out a breath.

"I know, Viv."

"I'm so tired."

"When we get you out of here, I'll talk to him."

"Does he know where I'm at?"

"I tried to wake him up and tell him but he was too doped on smack." He explains.

"He told me he wasn't on smack anymore." I say, finding it weird that I know I feel sad, but unable to feel the weight behind the emotion.

Before he can reply, the knocking on the door signals Duff's arrival as he slowly opens it.

"Hey!" I greet him as cheerfully as I can, my eyes barely able to keep open.

"Hey, Viv." He tries to play off his feelings but I can tell he's been worried. "Uh, Slash and Steven had to head home but they're coming later on." He adds. "No, it's okay, you're here. That's all I cared about." My cold hand reaches out for his hand and he's taking it.

"I'll leave you two alone for a little." Doc tells us. "I'll see if I can reach Tommy and Vince, now."

He leaves us alone and Duff's rubbing his lips together.

"You've been drinking." I say with lack of filter.

"Yeah, I was out partying." He tries to play it off with a smile.

"I was, too." I reply, grinning lazily and he let's out a soft breath. "Oh, come on, if I can't joke about getting shot, I'll cry and I'm tired of crying so just humor me."

"I think I've been humoring you the past year, Vivian. Every time you've sworn he was gonna change." He says a little more seriously.

"He didn't mean to do this, Duff. He didn't. He gets high, and he gets scared, and he thinks something's after him."

"Fred told me if you would have been hit with the brunt of the shot, your leg would have been useless, Viv."

"But I didn't." I argue softly, a tear trailing down my cheek. "God keeps me safe."

"I don't think God wants you staying in a relationship with someone who fucking puts the life he gave you, in danger." He states.

"Do you even believe in God?" I completely belittle what he just said. "Because if not, it's in your best interest not to speak on His behalf." I finish.

"How the fuck are you so argumentative when you're on morphine?" He asks, managing to bury the argument that was brewing.

"I don't fucking know I'm just tired." I let out.

"I can go, I just needed to see you were--"

"--Can you sleep with me?" I ask him out of nowhere.

"I don't want to piss anybody off." He tells me, but I know he really means, "I don't want to risk Nikki finding out and getting the wrong idea."

"My ass is hanging out of this gown, thigh looks like a fucking piranha got a hold of it, and I've had to use the bathroom in front of a nurse so she can monitor the consistency of my shit. I feel violated in every sense. I don't give a fuck what people think of my best friend sleeping in the bed with me for comfort's sake."

"Scoot over." He says, and I gently move the best I can to make room for him.

He gets in next to me, lifting his arm to rest above his head so I can lay beside him comfortably, and before long, his soft snoring brings a peaceful blanket of serenity and wraps it around me as I give into the drugs in my system pulling me into a sleep so I can help myself heal.

[soulangel]

Are you still doing this drabble thing? I would like to request a FEW things 😂 I hope it's not too much, I just couldn't decide 😂 if you only wanna do one or so it's fine too, even if you don't do it anymore it's okay 💜 Just don't feel stressed and take your time sweetie 💜 17 and 28 with San, 36 with Hyunjin, 49 with Taehyung, 88 with Seonghwa and 103 with Felix.

Hiiii! Sorry this took so long. One of your prompt ideas gave me an excellent idea for a story I'm starting to cook up and I've been trying to find ways to finish this while writing other works 😅 but I hope you enjoy these!

17. “Stop it! It tickles!”

You know the easiest way to wind down is that doesn’t involve putting toxic things into your body? Watching your two best friends running around their dorm room trying to play a weird sort of tag game as you try your hardest to help another friend with whatever it is they were doing. “No no, this is all wrong.” You mumbled quietly, rearranging the paperwork on the table.

Hongjoong pouted at you and whined about how picky you were when Wooyoung jumped over the couch and wrapped his arms around you to use as a shield. San, while chasing Wooyoung, jumped in front of you both and held his arms at either side of his body, watching you like a hawk. “Now?” He asked quietly, which you assumed meant they were teaming up against you.

You glared at him. “I swear if you two are gonna attack me…” You started, lifting your finger to point at him.

He held his hands up in defense and grinned innocently. “What are you gonna do Princess? Smack us?” He retorted with a smirk.

Wooyoung started immediately attacking your sides with his fingers while San jumped on top of you, earning a very loud squeal from you. Hongjoong had gotten up after Wooyoung jumped over the couch and barely started touching. “No! No tickling! That’s against the rules! Stop it! It tickles!” You squealed and laughed a little while the two of them started to tickle you.

It only took a few minutes before the two stopped and cuddled with you, completely spent from all the playing around they were doing.

28. “You’re still mad?”

You huffed in annoyance and continued trying your best to pace around the room, arms crossed and a very large frown on your face. While you were pacing, your boyfriend sat on the couch in front of you, slowly sinking further and further into the couch the more you paced in front of him. “Are you SERIOUS right now?!” You finally let out, whirling to face him quickly.

San stared at you wide eyed before he started fiddling with his fingers. “I didn’t think it would be such a big thing for you….I just used your body wash.” He whined.

You glared at him with such ferocity, he thought for sure he died twice. “You’re still mad about it?” He asked you, sensing that was probably the wrong thing to say in this situation.

“Of course I’m mad! I’m out of body wash now!” You yelled back before flopping on the couch with a childish pout, switching your emotions 180 degrees.

He snorted at your expression and stroked a hand through your hair. “I’ll buy you more. And I’ll also get two bottles so I can have one too!” He said, grinning innocently at you to get you to laugh.

You rolled your eyes and smiled a little at the dorkiness of your boyfriend.

36. “Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?”

With a long day behind you and a very tired looking boyfriend on your shoulder, you just wanted to fall on the couch and sleep there thanks to the schedule you both had to keep up with. “Come on Babe, just a little further.” You mumbled tired, yawning at the end.

He groaned and rolled his head around until he was able to rest it on your shoulder, grumbling things under his breath you couldn’t understand. “Let’s go to bed….it’s right there.” He whined, pointing at the bedroom that just seemed too far away for you to walk to.

You pursed your lips at the thought and weighed your options. You could either stumble your way to the room and pass out on the mattress without changing your clothes, or you could stay out in the living room, lay on the couch with Hyunjin and fall asleep to the sound of a movie playing in the background. Honestly, the second option was sounding a lot more appealing to you since it involved close quarters for you both, it was close, and there was background noise for you! “Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch? Or at least nap there, and then we can move to the bedroom when we have more energy.” You replied through another yawn, almost causing the both of you to fall with the lack of strength you had finally.

He groaned but nodded his head tiredly. “But what about our clothes?” He asked, glancing down at your attire and then his.

You smirked at him. “Those can be 100% off for all I care. It’s not like we have company coming over.” You replied easily, dropping him on the couch before your body landed on his.

He didn’t even get the innuendo you’d made since he passed out the moment his head hit the armrest.

49. “Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.”

“Jagi! Look what I snagged from Namjoon!” Your boyfriend smiled happily the moment he rushed into the room.

You glanced up from your phone to see Taehyung holding two pieces of...something in his hands. “Tae….what is that?” You asked him with a small sigh, giggling softly when he gave you his signature smile and jumped onto the bed next to you.

He handed you the popsicle and started licking the one in his hand. “Snacks for our midnight movie session!” He grinned at you innocently, watching you slowly start snacking on the popsicle in your hand.

You both were so focused on eating that you didn’t hear the door open until Namjoon was in the doorway with Jin peeking around his shoulder. “Go to bed you two! No more midnight movies! Tae, you get so tired the next day you can’t focus! BED!” The leader shouted at both of you, earning startled looks from you two.

You-wanting to be the good influence on your childish boyfriend-immediately finished your popsicle and set the stick on the nightstand beside you, flopping onto the bed quickly after and pulling Taehyung down with you. You two closed your eyes to go to sleep and waited for the door to close after Namjoon and Jin before you glared at him in the dark. “Quit touching me. Your feet are cold.” You whined, moving away from him slightly to keep his feet off your warm body.

“But you’re warm….”

“And you’re cold! Stop stealing my heat!”

“I SAID GO TO BED!”

88. “After everything…I’d still choose you.”

Bloody and bruised, you stared at the spot your boyfriend had previously stood in, wondering what he was doing once he moved out of your line of sight. “S-Seonghwa? Please talk to me….I-I didn’t mean to-He was going to kill you! I didn’t know what else to do!” You whimpered, rubbing your sleeves along your bloodstained cheeks, leaving red smears under your eyes.

Seconds later the familiar black leather, raven haired man stood in front of you with warm rags, gently running it along your knuckles and arms to start getting rid of the blood on your hands. “Ssshhh it’s okay.” He whispered softly, soothing your fried emotions the best he could with words alone.

You sniffled and went to rub a sleeve over your face again before he stopped you and held onto your hands gently. “I love you, Y/N. I don’t know what happened for it to get this way, and I don’t know what we’re going to do about it. But after everything...I’d still choose you. LIke I am right now. He was going to kill me. See that knife? Would it have been better to be buried in me, or him?” He wondered, watching your eyes as you took in his words.

You shook your head. “N-no! Nothing will ever happen to you!” You shouted, wrapping your arms around his waist.

He smiled and tangled a hand in your hair, pressing you into his leather. “That’s my girl. Good girl.” He cooed softly, earning a smile from you at the praise.

He smirked at the idea of you protecting him, thinking about how perfect it would be to turn you into his personal bodyguard and weapon of mass chaos. Oh how the world would tremble at his feet with you doing his dirty work. 

103. “Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”

After a long night of practice and getting yelled at by his leader, Felix had called you up insisting to go out for some food. Your comfort food to be exact. “Won’t Chan get mad at you though?” You asked with a frown, watching Felix jump around in his excitement.

He chuckled and shook his head. “As long as we bring something back for him, he won’t care too much. Now come on!” He replied, flinging his arm around with a snicker before sprinting down the street.

You didn’t even bother catching up since you knew where you were going. And it was barely a two minute walk from the dorm room you snuck out of. Though because Felix ran, and you walked, by the time you made it inside the fast food joint, he’d already had the food ordered and was waiting in a booth for you. “Jeez, you’re so slow.” He complained with a smile, 

You rolled your eyes at his childish behavior and patiently waited for the food with him making random jokes to pass the time. The moment the food was placed in front of you, you snagged the fries and smiled happily at the taste of the salt on your tongue. “Mmmm!” You groaned in bliss.

He rolled his own eyes this time and sighed, leaning over to grab some fries from you, before you slapped his hand and glared at him. “Ow!” He whined, flailing his hand to help soothe the burn.

You hoarded the fries to you and grumbled, wrapping your arms around them for protection. “Mine….”

He pouted. “But….but….Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.” He finally grumbled, holding his hand out to await you putting fried in his hand.

You just stuck your tongue out in response and stuffed a huge mouthful into your cheeks. “No!”

[motleyfuckingcruee]

The Outsider (Nikki Sixx x Reader)

Chapter 4

Summary:

It's your first night on the streets of LA. You have just arrived and you have nowhere to sleep. You meet Nikki at a bar and he offers to let you stay with him. You are the outsider.

Warnings:

Language, fluff, abuse, considering smut

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!

YOU CAN READ CHAPTER THREE HERE

COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO BE ON A TAGLIST! OR GO TO MY BIO TO ADD YOURSELF TO ONE!

//

It took you guys about two hours, but you finally found where Tommy's friend is playing. You walk in behind Nikki, keeping a strong grip on his hand. You really don't want to lose Nikki. You know how easily he can disappear in a crowd like this. You walk over to bar with Nikki and Tommy behind you. Mick went home. He said his back was hurting him too bad. You settle down on the stool. You look at the stage, trying to figure out who Tommy's friend is.

The lead singer actually isn't that bad. He's really attractive to. He's got blonde hair and moves that are driving the ladies wild. You nearly scoff to yourself. He's obviously a man whore.

Nikki's standing beside you. He wraps an arm around your shoulders. You lean your head against Nikki's side.

If you're honest, you just wanna head back to the apartment. You're already exhausted as it is. That phone call from Jared really got you worked up.

The band ends and Tommy runs up to the stage as fast as his gazelle legs can carry him. You giggle at how he runs.

Nikki kisses the top of your head. "I really think this is going to work."

"You think?" You ask, looking up into his green eyes.

He nods. "We have a kick ass guitar player and a fucking epic drummer. As long as we can find a good lead singer, we'll be set."

You smile, not sure what to say. You're so proud of him, words can't express it.

Tommy comes back to the bar with the blonde lead singer in tow. His eyes run over your body with a smirk on his lips. You roll your eyes, leaning further into Nikki.

"Guys, this is Vince," Tommy introduces, looking proud of himself. "I think he'd be great as the singer."

"Your voice ain't half bad, man," Nikki says, shaking Vince's hand. "I'm Nikki."

Vince nods, not taking his eyes off of you. "Who's this?"

Nikki's eyes narrow. You pray to whatever holy being that's above that Nikki won't attack Vince for just looking at you. His arm tightens around your body.

"I'm (Y/N)," You say, reaching out to shake Vince's hand.

Vince just smirks at you as Nikki glares at him. Does he not notice the death look Nikki has on his face?

"My girlfriend," Nikki nearly growls.

You nudge his side, trying to signal him to calm down. Nikki's eyes meet yours. You try to tell him to calm the hell down, but you have no clue if that's what he got from that look.

Tommy hands Vince a cassette tape, oblivious to Nikki's anger. "Here's our tape man," Tommy says. "Listen to it and call us."

Vince nods, his eyes still not leaving you. Vince sticks the tape in his pocket, finally looking at Tommy.

"You guys gonna hang around for a while?" Vince asks.

Nikki shrugs. "I don't see why not. It's not like we have much else to do."

You laugh, knowing it's true. The most you and Nikki will do is sit around the living room. He'll be working on some new songs whilst you're reading some book you found in the bookstore next to your work. That sure does tempting.

Vince leads the three of you over to a table. You all settle down. Somehow you end up between Nikki and Vince which only makes you feel a bit uncomfortable. It's one of those circular booths instead of the normal ones. Nikki has his hand securely on your thigh, rubbing comforting circles onto the clothes skin.

You lean into Nikki, not really wanting to speak. Vince and Tommy are engulfed in a conversation about their latest "scores". Meaning the girls they've slept with. You don't really mind their talk. You've heard a lot worse from Nikki before you guys started dating.

"What can I get you boys?" A waitress asks. You vaugely recognize the voice.

You roll your eyes. Anytime you're out with Nikki and Tommy, or just Nikki, if it's a woman waitress she usually just ignores you. But really, could you blame them? Nikki and Tommy are really attractive men. With Vince thrown into the mix you're sure that you'll never even get to place your order.

Nikki orders his usual, Jack Daniels, and Vince and Tommy decide to do shots. You roll your eyes at them, knowing that they'll have major hangovers tomorrow.

The waitress doesn't leave right away. You can hear her speaking to Tommy. Well, more flirting with him.

Nikki nudges your side. You look up at him with a small smile. He leans down and gives you a quick kiss. You're not going to lie, you wanted it to last longer.

"You alright, love?" Nikki asks.

You nod, forcing yourself to smile wider. "Yep. Just a bit tired is all."

Nikki opens his mouth, but the waitress speaks up.

"(Y/N)?!" She exclaims.

You look over and see someone you didn't expect to be here. Her blonde hair and revealing wardrobe hasn't changed in five years.

"Vicky?" You almost laugh. "Please tell me I'm high or some shit."

Nikki laughs. "Nah, you smoked all our weed last night."

You narrow your eyes at him. "I only had maybe a quarter of a joint. You and Tommy smoked like one each."

Tommy laughs. "I only got three quarters of one since you were smoking on mine."

You laugh, kicking Tommy lightly under the table. "You really didn't need to be smoking that much since you were setting the goddamn cockroaches on fire."

Tommy snorts, leaning forward. "I do that shit when I'm sober."

"I'm not even surprised, T-Bone," You say, letting Nikki wrap his arm around your shoulders.

"Did you guys just forget I'm here or something?" Vicky asks.

Good to know she's as bitchy as ever.

"Yeah," You respond.

Nikki laughs. "Look who has an attitude."

You shove him, smiling. "You have no room to talk, Sixx. Before I came around you had a reputation of kicking people's asses for just looking at you."

Nikki nods. "That is the truth."

Tommy shakes his head. "I'm not surprised. The way you went off on London's lead singer kinda pegged you for a hot head."

"This is just ridiculous, now," Vicky says.

You sigh. "You still with Jared?"

"You still jealous?" She retorts.

"I never was and never have been jealous of you and Jared's relationship. Especially now," You respond, wrapping your arm the best you can around Nikki's waist.

She scoffs. "You're really dating this guy?"

You hum in response. You watch as Jared and your sister walk through the door of the bar.

Vince taps me on the leg. I turn my head towards him. I already know what he's going to ask.

"I'm alright," You say, not letting him ask.

He holds his hands up in surrender. "Don't attack me for making sure you're okay."

"We just met, Blondie."

"And that means I can't be worried about you?"

You nod. "Yep."

"You're a strange person," Vince laughs.

You turn back to Vicky who now has Jared and your sister next to her. Jared looks the same. Black hair and a preppy style. Nothing has changed.

"Vicky could you please just go get us the goddamn drinks?" You practically beg. You want her as far away from this table as she can get.

Jared opens his mouth to say something, but you cut him off.

"Can you both just leave me the hell alone?"

Jared looks taken aback by your harshness. He doesn't say a word. He just takes your sister's arm and walks away.

"We're never coming back to this bar," You say, leaning back.

"Why babe?" Nikki asks.

"Too many people from my past that I'd rather forget," You answer. "From now on we're sticking to the Starwood, The Whiskey, and The Rainbow."

"I would say, 'I'll drink to that', but your friend still isn't back with our drinks," Tommy laughs.

You bite your lip, trying to think of any way to get out of here. "Why don't we just go home? We have plenty of booze and we won't have to worry about how we're going to get home."

Nikki looks at the other two, trying to see what they want to do.

"Sounds good. I miss that apartment," Tommy says.

"Tom we were there not even four hours ago," Nikki laughs.

"I still miss it."

"Sounds good," Vince says.

"Hold on," You say. "The apartment is a sacred place that the band members and I hang out. You can't go there if you aren't apart of the band."

"What?" Vince asks, laughing in disbelief.

"You need to choose if you're gonna be in the band or not right now," You respond.

Vince takes a minute, then nods his head. "Alright, I'm in."

You all climb out of the booth and leave the godforsaken bar. Nikki walks beside you with his hand tightly gripping onto yours. Vince and Tommy are talking animatedly about something. You aren't listening to them. Your mind is staying at how you saw three people you ended up hating. They treated you wrong, and you see that now. They belittled you. They made you feel like nothing. You thought that's how friends treated each other, but after you met Nikki your view on that changed. He was, and still is, the sweetest and kindest man you ever met.

"Looks like you got us a lead singer," Nikki laughs, giving your hand a small squeeze.

"I guess I did," You respond, looking up at him. God, he's so perfect. You know that you're in love with him with every ounce of love you can manage.

"Who were those people?"

You drop your gaze back down to the sidewalk. "People that I hoped to never see again. Let's not get into it, alright?"

"Alright." He stops, pulling you into his body. He leans down and kisses you as deeply as he can manage. You smile as he pulls away. "I love you."

"I love you too," You respond.

You mean those words. And hearing him say them is about the only thing that's keeping you from breaking down right now.

Tags:

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Nikki fics: @moon-beame @slutfor-sixx @2dead2function