#I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I WENT ALL IN ON EFFORT FOR THIS...

[tooboredtothinkofaname]

Funny thing is it's only rude if you're autistic. If you're not then it's totally fine to not like stuff and the convo goes:

- i don't like this, it's really just not my taste

- Ok

Autism thing i hate that it’s considered rude to not like a food and not want to eat it. And i hate that i have to be all apologetic about it instead of people just understanding that foods just aren’t for everyone and a person not wanting to eat something isn’t an insult to anyone’s cooking

[chleem]

Is it casual now?/extra II

One shot; college students drew x reader

Summary: “Baby, no attachments.” yet, you’re at his childhood home, laughing with his parents, bonding with his siblings. 

Genre: situation-ship, smut, fluff, angst,

Warnings: swearing, sex, light read, etc

⋆.˚ this is entirely fictional, if uncomfortable then don't read

⋆.˚ official one shot, extra I

♡⸝⸝ "fucked you in the bathroom, when we went to dinner"

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Where you going?”

You ask, as Drew stands up. The warmth of his hands caressing your thighs is gone, now running through his hair. “Bathroom,” he mumbles, barely meeting your eyes. He walks off, without another glance back at the table. 

His sour mood is evident, by not only you, but all of your friends. 

To be fair, he didn’t even want to come tonight. He pleaded desperately for you to stay in with him, offering things to you that was ridiculous. Such as, doing your laundry for a month (he doesn’t even do his own). 

But you haven’t hung out with all your friends in a long time, and you missed them. So, tonight was non-negotiable with Drew. 

And he gave up with trying to reason with you, hence, why he decided to join you here, at the nice restaurant. He didn’t even make an effort to engage nicely with them, chuckling under his breath at random times and answering questions with short answers. Whenever you were talking, he would purposely distract you by touching you under the table, making it awkward for you and your friends. 

Drew knows your friends don’t like him; that’s why he’s sour. That’s also why he shows up to these hangouts, just to rub it in their faces. 

“Why did you invite him?” Lucy groans, after Drew was out of eye sight. Your five other friends of this group nod too, all letting out groans of frustration. “Hello, earth to y/n, we. Don’t. Like. Him.”

“He insisted on joining,” you shrug, forcing a smile. 

“Um, you could’ve insisted on him not joining,” Janet, another friend adds on. 

Your friend group was filled with weird people with different opinions, but one thing they’ve collectively agreed on was: they hate Drew. ‘Hate’ is a strong word, but that was the only way to describe their feelings towards Drew. 

They’ve expressed it a lot of times, so it’s become numb to you. 

“Are you guys finally together though?” Gary asks, sitting beside you. 

Oh. Every time they see you, they ask this question. 

“Of course not,” Lucy answers for you, sending you a cocky grin. One you always disliked, because it made you feel small. “Classmates, huh?”

“A really bad label,” Stacy adds on. Yeah, as if you didn’t already know. 

Great. Now it’s just your whole friend group judging you for being with Drew. Again. The last thing you needed from them.

“I visited his parents,” you aggressively say, stabbing into your food. Hopefully that will convince them Drew is a better person that what they think, right?

Wrong. They all ‘tsk’ in a disappointed manner, shaking their heads. “And…still classmates?”

“Well, he said I was his best friend,” you stuff the food in your mouth, “To his family.”

“He probably had to,” Josh speaks up this time, “and wow, is that the first time he called you his friend?” 

You don’t miss the sarcasm in his voice, and you send him a glare. He raises his hands in defense, the table laughs. 

You don’t find the humor in this situation. Why were they so judgmental towards the relationship with Drew? It’s not like he’s the biggest jackass ever. You’ve seen every side there is to Drew, they just don’t know him like you do. “Can you guys cut it off?” You say, not trying to hide the annoyance in your voice. 

“We’re just joking,” Janet laughs, glancing around, “besides, we’re worried for you.”

You chew and swallow the food in your mouth, sending her an unappreciative smile, “‘worried’ for me?”

“Yes, he’s obviously not… well, in love with you,” Janet continues, “we don’t want you with someone who clearly doesn’t care for you.”

“He cares for me,” you defend, furrowing your eyebrows at them. You look around the table, seeing your friends glance down at their food, afraid to meet your eyes. “He cares for me.”

“Sure he does,” Stacy bitterly agrees with you. That tone pisses you off. “Maybe privately, he does, but what about in public? Starting off with the most basic, labels.”

You hate how right your friends are. As rude and mean they’re being, deep down, you know they’re right. The ‘no attachments’ thing is bullshit, especially when nothing about the two of you is casual. 

Five, no close to six months, nothing about that is causal. 

“That…doesn’t matter,” you murmur. Wrong; it mattered a lot, to everyone and to you. You just hated to admit you weren’t as chill or casual as Drew was, how he made everything romantic seem friendly with you. 

When you look around, everyone is now staring at you pitifully. 

You didn’t like that. That pity stare. There’s nothing to be pity of. Bunch of people around the world right now might be having situation-ships too. Nothing to pity. Nothing to be ashamed of. 

Yeah. That’s what you keep brainwashing yourself to believe. 

‘The girl that he bangs on his couch’. Yeah. Nothing to be ashamed of. 

Your phone on the table lights up, and it reads bathroom. now. 

Drew. “Um, excuse me,” you stand up, excusing yourself to the bathroom. 

As you slowly get up and walk away, your friends weren’t very careful with the volume of their voice. You hear one of them calling you a loser, still hanging around just for a good dick to suck. 

That must be Janet. Her lonely ass must be jealous. 

But part of you knew she wasn’t wrong. You were a loser. The biggest loser to exist. The loser of losers, if that even is a thing. 

Casual. Your friends succeeded once again, in making you doubt everything with Drew. 

——

“Really boring, right?”

Drew pulls you in by the waist, a lazy smile on his lips as he stares down at you. He leans against the sink, making you stand between his legs. 

This restaurant had two bathrooms, each with their own sink inside. So, Drew took full advantage of that. 

“Hmm,” you hum carelessly. You didn’t want agree with him; you tried to make this evening nice, but his attitude towards your friends just weren’t helping. You keep your gaze around the collar of his jacket, not wanting to meet his eyes. 

“Something wrong?” He asks, playfulness still hinted in his words. His hand rub circles around your waist, as he tries to make eye contact with you, bending his head down to your level. 

You advert your gaze even more, now focusing on the bracelet around his wrist. Now that you think about it, he always has this on, since the day you got it for him. 

Was that casual to do? To keep the bracelet on at all times. 

“Look at me, would you?” Drew’s tone turns serious, and he pinches the side of your waist harshly.

You flinch, finally looking up at him. You meet his blue eyes, a mix of concern and something else that you can’t read. His raised eyebrows tell you that he wants you to talk, to tell him what’s on your mind. 

Should you? But, where do you even start? With his attitude tonight, or with your friend’s comments? Or with this whole casual thing, which is basically the beginning to it all.

Your lips pout on its own, resting your hands around his wrist. “That was uncalled for,” you murmur, looking down at his bracelet again. 

“What was?” Drew’s pinch one your waist is more soft this time, wanting to get the words out of you. 

“Doing that,” you say, playing with his chained bracelet. Shit. You’re gonna say it. You’re gonna call him out for his behavior. “Being rude to my friends.”

A scoff escapes Drew. He then brings his hand up to your face, forcing you to look up at him. Like second nature, you lean your face into the palm of his hand, waiting for him to explain himself. “Babe, your friends were the rude ones.”

The feeling inside your stomach is indescribable. The nickname sends you butterflies, but the words that follow don't. 

“How?” You ask, crossing your arms.  

He licks his lips, squinting his eyes at you. “It was so fucking obvious.”

“Was it?” 

“Yes- yes, it was,” Drew straightens his posture, taking his hands off you. The warmth of him is gone, now with the presence of a man trying to explain his reasonable case of being bratty. “They asked loaded questions to me this whole night.”

You furrow your eyebrows, thinking hard to the stuff they asked Drew. Shit. They were. Your friends didn’t even trying to hide their discontent with him tonight. 

“They hate me,” he adds on, “C’mon, I leave the table for like, a few minutes, and they talked shit, right?”

The way he looks at you; he challenges you to disagree with him. But you couldn’t; he was right. Your friends hate him, making you constantly doubt whatever this was with Drew. 

“Wasn’t all shit,” you lie, sending him the smallest smile ever. 

Drew makes the ‘tsk’ sound, shaking his head as he gives you a tired smile. “What they say then?” He asks, leaning back against the sink again. 

His eyes look at you in anticipation, biting down on his lips. 

You do not want to tell him what they said. It was rude, and although it was about Drew, it affected you more than it should have. The seeds of doubt are always planted by your friends, they never put you at ease with this relationship. 

You give him a lazy smile, snaking your arms around his neck. You lean in close to him, a seductive look in your eyes. “Does it matter? They talk shit, all they ever do.”

Drew’s lips slightly part, and he glances quickly down at your lips. Then he looks back at your eyes, and a smile appears, “I see what you’re doing. You’re distracting me.”

You shrug lightly, before planting a small kiss on his jaw. “Is it working?”

You hear a chuckle escape from him, and his hand wraps around the back of your head. His eyes keep bouncing between your lips and eyes, smiling from ear-to-ear, “annoyingly so, you minx.”

Without another comment, Drew kisses you, soft and slow. 

You return the kiss, escalating into a whole make-out session. 

You hate how your body reacts to him; feeling a pool of wetness form between your legs. Fuck. 

Something pokes against your lower stomach, and you pull away from Drew. You glance down; he’s erected. “Shit,” you curse, as his hands slide down your body. He squeezes your ass, burying his face into your neck as he breathes the skin there. 

“I…I can’t go back to the table like this,” he murmurs, referring to his erection. 

You watch as his back rises and falls, through the sink mirror. Even with this thick white jacket he has on, you can tell his breathing has sped up. Your lips form a straight line, running your hands through his short hair. 

In the bathroom? Right in the middle of dinner? It was highly inappropriate. 

Wrapping your hands around his face, you pull him up to meet his eyes. He looks at you pleadingly, lips parted with drool on the corner of his lips. 

Fuck. How is one suppose to say no to that look? He looked as if he physically needed you; needed you to calm the… ‘growing’ in his pants. 

“Ten minutes,” you tell him, which immediately lights the spark in his eyes. He looks like a puppy! You smile at that thought, as he straightens himself, switching your positions. 

“Ten minutes? Enough for two rounds,” he teases, lifting you to sit on the sink. 

“No! One round,” you say, which gets cut off by Drew kissing you again. As much fun as two rounds sound, the longer you linger in here, the more obvious it is that the two of you are fucking. 

He groans into your mouth, spreading your legs to stand between them. His hands move fast into your dress, slipping your underwear off. The cold surface of the sink hits your thighs and pussy, adding to the heat growing within you. 

Drew trails his kisses down your neck, as your hands work on undoing his belt. 

You moan when he sucks on the sweet-spot around your neck, the belt dropping onto the floor with a hard thud. “Drew…” you moan out, messy hands tugging his hair as he continues to form hickeys around your neck. 

You want to run your hands around his stomach, chest, abs. But the jacket he has on prevents that, being zipped up the whole way. This jacket looked great on him, but would look better on the floor. 

Your hands fidget with the zipper, tugging with no luck of it moving. 

Drew pulls away from your neck, a chuckle escaping, “babe, gently.”

His hands overlaps yours, guiding you to pull the jacket zipper down. It reveals that he isn’t wearing anything inside; a feast to your eyes. “Is that why you refused to take this off?” You ask, referring to before the dinner started.

“I was invited last minute,” he shrugs the jacket off, as if it wasn’t his fault for the improvised outfit. 

“Right, but you weren’t invited,” you remind him, when he insisted on joining you when you were leaving, throwing on a random outfit nearby. You were busy putting your heels on, so you couldn’t see the moment when he got dressed. You didn’t even know he owned a jacket like this. 

“Mmhm,” his mind was elsewhere, attaching his lips to yours again. Sloppy and more lustful this time, as your hands wander around his body. It’s hot under your touch; his abs flexing as you run your hands over them. 

His hand grips onto your thigh, before moving closer to your heat. 

When the warmth of his fingers hit your pussy, you moan loudly into his mouth. 

“Shit,” he chuckles, “we’re in public, babe.”

The tip of your ears heat up too, from the embarrassment and realization that you’re in public, most likely having people hear you from the other side of the door. “Sorry,” you murmur, burying your face into his neck. 

Drew sticks two fingers into your hole, and starts thrusting at a faster speed than usual. Your breathing becomes uneven, as you try to tone down your moans. 

Drew wasn’t having it easy either, as you hear low grunts escaping him. “Fuck,” he curses, adding another digit, “you’re tight tonight.”

“Just fuck me already,” you manage to say, hands gripping on his biceps. Surely, this was enough foreplay, right? 

He chuckles again, this time at your impatience. He pulls his fingers out of you, his hands going to the back pocket of his jeans. 

The familiar gold packaging comes out, and his hands skillfully rip them open. 

“…couldn’t put on a shirt but bought a condom with you?” Laughter escapes you, as you watch him unzip his pants. 

He glances up at you, and when he sees you smiling ear-to-ear, he can’t help but match you, “wasn’t gonna show up totally unprepared, right?”

You laugh again; what an unbelievable guy. “Shirt’s optional but condom a must. Got it.”

Drew lets his pants and boxers hang around his knees, his cock standing proud. The sight immediately wipes the smile off your lips, gulping as you imagine it stuffed inside you. 

“The chances of fucking you wherever and whenever is high,” Drew says, wrapping the condom around his dick. 

He looks up at you, seeing your gaze fixed on his hard cock. A smirk helps themselves to his lips, as his hands tug on your waist. An idea flashes in his mind as he looks over your shoulder, at the big sink mirror. 

“Get off,” his voice brings you back, looking at him with confused eyes now. “C’mon, trust me.”

You let him bring you back onto the ground, before flipping you over. You see both your reflections in the mirror, your back hitting his chest, his dick poking your upper ass. 

When you meet his eyes through the mirror, you understand where this was going. 

“Watch yourself while I destroy your fucking pussy, hmm?”

Oh. Oh. Was it possible to be turned on by words? 

Drew lifts up your dress, revealing your wet core. You hold onto the sink for support, grip getting tighter when you feel Drew’s tip against your entrance. 

Then, he slips in, going deep until it’s completely nestled inside you. 

“Fuck,” you moan, glancing up at Drew. He sends you a smirk, enjoying this too. His hand goes to your stomach, and he lifts you backward, resting against his chest again. 

“Grip my hair, and keep your eyes open, alright?” His voice drops low, one hand moving to knead your breasts. 

You nod, bringing your hands behind you; one tugging gently around his hair, another around his arm that’s supporting you. 

He starts to thrust into you, rather roughly and fast. “Shit,” you moan, the sensation sending you to outer space. With his thick cock slamming into you, his hands roaming your body, your hands running through his short hair, it feels euphoric. 

Your eyes can barely stay open, as you look at the reflection in the mirror. Drew leaves a trail of sloppy kisses along your shoulder, which sends goosebumps to your skin. 

You watch as one of his hand slips between your thighs, starting to massage your pussy. “Fuck,” you moan, louder than you should be. You couldn’t help it, the pleasure was extraordinary. 

He kisses your earlobe, “i’know baby, but keep it down, alright?”

“Y-yeah,” it barely comes out, as the thrusts and massages to your core intensifies. The familiar knot in your stomach forms, informing you that you’re close. “Drew…”

His pace doesn’t stop, and when you lean your head back on his shoulder, he goes harder, “close?”

You nod with any energy left, and Drew uses his free hand to lift your face up again. He kisses your cheek, “use your words.”

You flutter your eyes open, looking at the two of you in the mirror. It was extremely hot, to see Drew filling you up, his hands all around you. The mirror starts to fog up a little, with all the grunting and pressure filling in here. 

“I’m coming,” you force out, and meet Drew’s gaze in the mirror. His blue eyes meet yours, seething with lust. 

You clench around him, your hand going around Drew’s, which is massaging your pussy. He stops massaging, and he intertwines your hands together. The stickiness doesn’t bother you; why should it?

“Fuck,” he groans, his thrusts to your g-spot growing sloppy. 

You tilt your head sideways, and you give him a quick kiss, which sends you over the edge. Your orgasm explodes inside of you, cum dripping out and over Drew’s cock. 

Body giving up, you lean completely against Drew, as he helps himself to his. His cock twitches, and you feel the familiar hot liquid filling up. 

Both of you are breathing heavily, euphoria radiating off your bodies. Fuck. This might just be one of the best fucks you’ve had with Drew. But in a public restroom? Who would’ve thought. 

“You’re so hot,” he compliments, before planting a small kiss on the side of your face. 

You giggle at that stupid comment, looking at him through the mirror; He’s got a playful smile on his lips, looking at you with smitten eyes. “You’re great with your words.”

He chuckles, his hands tapping against the side of your waist, signaling you to move. You use the energy left inside of you, helping him slip out. Leaning against the sink, you watch as Drew grabs tissues to wipe your core, then throwing his condom away. 

After that, he grabs your underwear on the floor. You get yourself dressed, him doing the same thing. 

“Look, only…only seven minutes passed,” Drew comments with a sly smile on his lips, showing you his watch. 

You roll your eyes, your lips betraying you by forming a smile. “Cocky much?” 

He puts his jacket back on, the last piece of clothing. “Well, you've definitely enjoyed the taste of it.”

You hit his chest playfully, his remark sending butterflies to your stomach. He laughs, zipping his jacket only halfway. Your eyebrows furrow at his exposed chest that pierces through the top; and you reach for the zipper. 

Drew stays in place, and you feel his gaze on the top of your head, his hot breath hitting you. You ignore the tension that pulls; when you’re done, you pat his chest, “all done, buddy.”

“‘Buddy’?” There’s a hint of amusement in his tone, eyes squinting down at you. 

You send him a soft smile, seeing him glance down at your lips. “What?”

“Call me buddy one more time,” his hands wrap around your waist, and he leans closer to you, “and you’ll get it.”

His dirty and challenging tone sends shivers down your spine, something you find yourself liking a bit too much. The pit of your stomach yells at you at how hypocritical Drew was being right now, but you ignore it. 

And just because it’s fun, you lean into his ear, and whisper, “best buddy ever.”

Tickles are sent to the side of your body, making you jump and melt into his arms. You laugh uncontrollably; Drew knew you were ticklish, using it to his full advantage. 

“Stop! Stop!” You yell between laughter, your legs ready to give up. 

“Don’t call me that then,” he stops tickling you, grip on you tight to make sure you don’t fall. He kisses the tears of laughter from the corner of your eyes, “I don’t like it.”

“Noted,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around his neck. You glance down at his lips, and he does the same to yours. 

Drew gives you the look; he wants to kiss you. 

And you let him, closing your eyes and feeling his lips against yours. 

Is it still casual if you kissed me like it’s the last time you ever will? You hate how this thought appears in your mind again, haunting you. 

You pull away, the pressure of it getting overwhelming. “Let’s head back, yeah?”

“We have to?” His eyes stay glued to your lips. “You know, We could…we could just leave.”

You furrow your eyebrows at him, “no!”

“Say you got plans tomorrow morning,” he shrugs, “I’ll say it for you, if you can’t-”

You cross your arms, looking up at him. “Why would I leave early?”

Drew parts his lips, and he brings his hand up to your elbow. He rubs the area there in soft circles, a playful look in his eyes, “…grab some froyo?”

You drop your arms, looking at him disappointedly. When he saw that, he hurriedly adds, “and I got errands to run. Really.”

You contemplate in your mind about this; ditching this dinner to hang out privately with Drew? Yeah, that sounded like something fun. It must be better than staying awkwardly, having your friends judge Drew. 

Casual. Casual, casual, casual. Some casual froyo with Drew, and maybe ending up with sex in his dorm room. 

Yeah. Seemed like things people whose ‘casual’ would do. 

“Fine. You’re treating me though,” you unlock the door, walking out the bathroom. 

“I always treat you,” you hear him murmur behind you, following closely behind as you two walk back to the table. 

You interrupt the conversation they’re having, grabbing your purse from your seat. They look at your questionably, before their gaze lands sourly on Drew behind you. “i’ve got something, tomorrow morning, so we’re heading off,” you try sounding apologetic, “sorry to leave this early.”

“Oh, um, okay,” Lucy glances between the two of you, “text us when you get home.”

“Yeah, sorry,” you apologize again, before your friends wave goodbye to you. You don’t miss the hateful looks they leave on Drew, as they tell you to take care until the next time you guys meet. 

After that, you and Drew leave the restaurant, letting the doorman do his job of getting a taxi. 

A warmth around your hand catches you by surprise; Drew holds your hand, pulling you closer to him. You look down at the holding of hands; then back up at him. He’s staring down at his phone, scrolling through his insta feed. 

Holding hands. Something very casual to do, apparently. 

“What are you watching?” You ask, leaning on his shoulder. 

He laughs, showing you the screen. It’s a video of a monkey pointing towards the glass, which has different play-doughs lined along it. 

You don’t get the humor in it, but you smile, because it makes Drew smile. 

The two of you stand there, watching different posts on his phone until the taxi arrives. 

Your mind finds it strange how ‘casual’ you two are. 

Because, in the bottom of your heart, you weren’t so sure if this was casual anymore. Along the way, the lines of ‘no attachment’ seemed to have blurred. Blurred to the point of no return. 

-------------------------------

word count: 4.1k

ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: goddamn, i would fall for this toxic relationship too T_T

sry for not posting lately, i got very busy lately! i promise you, flashing lights 6 & not a big deal pt4 is coming sooooon. but hope you enjoyed this extra, and also, thx for blowing up the halloween special, was NOT expecting that. thank you sm! your lovely comments inspire me to write these fics!

btw, watched obx s4, and the ending broke me T_T like tffff

[cosmicpearlz]

yours for the time being |5|

summary: what happens when your academic rival of years proposes an offer of fake dating? pure chaos.

pairing: gryffindor!jude bellingham x slytherin!reader

a/n: it’s taken a while for me to write this but thank you for being on this series journey with me! enjoy my loves <3

a typical saturday night. aka the day where the famous slytherin parties take place. most nights it was for winning matches and others, it was just for the hell of it. the common room decorated in various halloween decor. the group deciding last minute to have a costume party. taking the idea from the muggles and what they do to celebrate the holiday.

"you look smoking hot," pansy whistles at you, as you made your way downstairs. your costume being a vampire. a mini black dress and a black velvet cape with dark red platforms to match the fake blood that dripped from the side of your lips.

"so do you love!" you clapped for her sexy cat costume.

"i think we all look good," draco chips into the conversation.

"you're literally dressed as a wizard. talk about no originality." draco rolls his eyes at theo's statement.

"simplicity is way better than over doing it."

"you didn't put any effort into it," blaise says and stares at the slytherin boy as if he had grown two heads.

"haters are my motivators," draco said, as he walked away to finish putting more snacks and drinks out. it was amazing how much alcohol you guys managed to sneak in.

theo dressed as cupid. supporting the red wings and having the heart bow and arrow. blaise was dressed as beetlejuice. even having his hair spray green and having the exact face paint. you loved that your friends went all out. well minus draco.

"let's pregame this shit and see where the night takes us," pansy yells, not that she had to, but she wanted to get her point across. you guys cheered and each grab a shot to throw back. you missed the way theo, blaise, and pansy smirked at each other. it was going to be a long night.

-

jude felt stupid. why had he let his friends convince him to go to a slytherin party. the gryffindor boy hadn't spoken to her in weeks and now they both were going to be in the same vicinity. 'maybe we still would have been together if i didn't hurt her feelings'. is all he could think about. maybe he would've been by her side right now and maybe just maybe they would've had cute matching costumes. the boy was dressed as a vampire. the top hat and the stupid cape. he decided to put fake blood on the white button up shirt instead of having it on his face.

"you ready mates?" harry shouts for jude and ron. the other gryffindor boy dressed as captain america. ron dressed as spider-man.

"i'm ready to drink to my heart's desire."

"jude, you made that sound incredibly depressing," hermione says, coming down from her side of the common room. she dressed as a fairy. a matching costume that she wanted to do with luna.

"well lets get to it. don't wanna be late," jude mumbles, already walking towards the common room door. he was nervous to see her. what costume would she be wearing? is she as miserable as he is? did she even miss him? will she be wearing that sweet vanilla perfume that drives him crazy? his mind runs a million thoughts.

-

the party is in full swing. everyone holding a cup or two and dancing to the music. your friends had been sneaking glances at each other all night. not that you were really paying attention. too focused on the guy in front of you. a handsome ravenclaw that was about jude's height. maybe a little shorter than him. you know what they say, to get over someone, you must get under someone new. although, you were comparing the boy in front of you to the boy that secretly held your heart.

"so, i found it crazy that we were able to spot a group of doxies. in the middle of spring, right before-" every word fell upon deaf ears, as you watched harry, ron, hermione and jude walk in. suddenly, you felt sick. matching costumes with the one person who you avoided. ever since that day, nothing was normal.

"excuse me," you didn't wait for him to respond, walking away immediately to get a drink. taking a red cup, you poured yourself a drink and downed it. going for a second before pansy stops you.

"you alright love?"

"jude is here."

"why don't you wait in our dorm room? just take a breather really quick," you nodded and maneuver your way around dancing bodies. pansy's eyes follow your movement until she couldn't see you anymore. only then did she wink at harry and the plan was in motion.

"mate, can you help me find something?"

"like what?" jude raised an eyebrow at harry. a drink in his hand, while he heavily eyed his friend.

"i think i lost my ring."

"we just got here and you weren't wearing a ring."

"do have to spell it out for you?"

"what are you talking about?" harry dramatically sighs.

"i had a one-night stand with this slytherin girl and i left my ring in the room. i need to get it now while we're here," harry lied. a damn good lie if you asked him.

"you're impossible mate, lead the way," jude nods his head at harry to take the lead. harry leads the two of them upstairs. catching the eye of hermione and pansy, he slightly nods. step two was officially underway.

-

you sat on your bed, twirling the drink around in the cup. platforms and cape long discarded. what were you suppose to say to him? how much you truly were sorry? that you wished you could take it all back? how ironic that the minute you try to push him away and out of your mind again, he shows up. like he always did. even before the fake dating. he was a pest that wouldn't budge. a stupidly handsome pest.

"it should be in this one." you heard a muffled voice speak from outside the door. the door swings open and jude is pushed inside. you gasp quietly and sit up straighter.

"y/n?" jude stutters out in confusion.

"hi," you softly spoke. the two of you turn attention to the door that was slammed shut. a realization washes over you.

"jude open the door!" you hop off the bed and walk towards the closed door. he turns to pull at the knob, and it was no use.

"it won't open."

"and it won't open until you guys make up!" pansy yells over the loud music. "or make out! whichever comes first."

"no pressure though," ron says. 'no pressure my ass' you mumble to yourself.

hearing the footsteps grow in distance, you knew that they were long gone. you sigh and sit right back on the bed. jude stands there, unsure of what to do. only then does he realize the matching costumes. his heart swoons and breaks all at the same time.

"you're welcomed to sit," you pat the spot next to you. no use in prolonging the situation. it was now or never at this point. jude sits on the bed, making a point to sit at the end of the bed.

"matching costumes, aye?" he looks at you with a lopsided grin. it didn't reach his ears like it normally would've it, but you found it endearing anyway.

"yeah. maybe we're connected in some way," you said, while looking down at your lap. picking lint off your dress that wasn't anywhere to be found.

"like soulmates?" you lift your head meeting his gaze. oh, how you've missed those chocolate brown eyes.

"yeah maybe."

the silence takes over the room again. internally, you were panicking. what do you say? would it be worth it?

"soo."

"soo," he mimicked you. something that you both were used to. you let out a breathy chuckle.

"how are you and lavender?" turning your eyes back to the bottom of your dress. missing the way jude looks at you as if you were crazy. he felt somewhat offended.

"me and lavender? what are you on about?"

"i seen you guys," you shrugged your shoulders. the gryffindor boy scoffs.

"what are we doing here y/n? you put your friends up to this?"

"why would you think that?"

"you're trying to rub it in. well congratulations, you win," jude's voice seemly increasing by the minute. it left you dumbfounded.

"what could i possibly be rubbing in? i'm in the same boat you are!" your own voice getting louder as well.

"yeah right. i doubt you feel anything like the heartless slytherin you are." ouch.

"that's not true!"

"yes, is it. you don't care about anyone but yourself. you've proven that long before." jude was being mean that this point. his yelling and the hatful words that spewed from his mouth.

"that's not true jude! you're absolutely wrong."

"how can i be wrong? huh?"

"because i care about you, you fucking idiot," you yelled, which sends him into silence.

"you're the one that broke it off."

"yeah, because you've hurt my feelings and i don't want to continually go through that."

"i've apologized for it and i spilled my heart out to you. i told you that i would continue to apologize for it." tensions rising once more.

"right right, you're soo apologetic that you turn around and call me a heartless slytherin who only cares about herself," you crossed your arms and faced the wall. you refuse to cry in front of him. jude sighs and looks down at his lap.

"i was just upset. i didn't mean it," jude says in a quieter tone.

"so, every time you're upset with me, you'll throw how slytherins act like this in my face? how i'm a person that feels nothing?" you looked into his brown eyes with glossy eyes.

"y/n i care about you so much that it scares me. i don't know how you feel because you won't let me in. that's all i'm asking-"

"jude i like you too! is that what you want to hear? i hate that i hurt you but you have to understand that i was protecting myself. i've spent so long building walls to guard my heart and here you come. in a few months, you've managed to-"

jude doesn't let you finish, instead placing a hand on your cheek and bringing you in for a kiss. it was tentative until you start kissing him back. the boy's confidence boosts, and he slides his other hand to your waist. pulling you closer to him. you grab the collar of his cape and press into him more. lips crushing together. you missed the way his lips felt on yours.

he bites your lip, asking for permission. you allowed it, opening your mouth just enough for his tongue to squeeze through. without breaking the kiss, you straddle him. one leg sitting on either side of jude's thigh. naturally, his hands find your waist again. tongues exploring each other and fighting for dominance. the kiss comes to stop, hearing something break from the other side of the door. pulling away, you both looked at each other. it wasn't long before you guys share laughter.

"i've missed you," jude's laughter quieting down to confess to you. you wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him into a hug and placing your face in the crook of his neck.

"i've missed you too." jude's arms hug your body tightly, sending warmth to spread throughout you. his head leans into yours and places a kiss onto your head.

"so, what do we do now?" you lift your head to face him, questioning where you go from here. jude gazes into your eyes, a small smile etching its way to his lips.

"we try. think you can manage that?" rising an eyebrow in a teasing manner. you grinned back at him.

"yeah. i think i can manage that."

"to that i have one thing i want to ask you."

"which is?"

"will you officially be my girlfriend? before you answer, know that we need to have open communication and i need you to let me into that pretty little mind of yours," jude says, ending his sentence with playfully pinching your side. you laughed and pushed his hand away.

"let me think about that."

"y/n."

"i'm kidding. of course i'll be your official girlfriend." jude smiles again, pulling you in for another kiss. you knew then that you guys were gonna be just fine. as long as you had each other.

[spiderman2-99]

✨:happy-Gabriella

[06.12.2022, TRN-1042]

“Papa. Papaaaa!”

“Hmrgh.”

“¡Vamos! It’s almost noon!”

“HwuAGH?!”

Miguel blearily opens his eyes and is promptly assaulted with, as promised, the bright mid-day sun. And then is physically assaulted by about 100 pounds of over-excited ten year old girl clambering on his bed to wake him up.

“I’m awake, I’m awake,” he says frantically, voice still rough around the edges from the vestiges of sleep, as he futilely wrestles with his daughter in an effort to stop her from turning him into a shaken-up pop bottle. Christ alive, he feels like it already.

  Only once he harmlessly pins Gabriella down so she’s sprawled on her back, himself half leaning over her, does she finally concede, her face ruddy from laughing. How the shock kids can have this much energy is beyond him.

(Then again, it is noon, and he was out all night. So.)

Miguel leans back up when he’s certain she won’t try any funny business again, slowly, like she’s a particularly ferocious little velociraptor.

“You were snoring again,” she states as she sits up beside him, brushing imaginary dust off her shirt.

Though his brain is still trying to boot up, he manages to scoff in mock indignation. “I do not snore-“

“Uh, yes you do. It’s like- HOOOOOONK- SHUUUUUUUUUU”

“-and I certainly don’t sound like that.”

“Yes you doooo- no, wait, actually, it's louder, like,” she throws herself back on the bed for emphasis, “BWAAAAAAAAAA-“

“Alright, missy, now you’re just exaggerating. I don’t always sound like that.” Even with the faux irritation, he can’t help but huff out a short chuckle.

“Noooo,” she drawls, leaning up on her arms. “you only sound like a chainsaw when you stay up all night.”

Miguel winces. After he’d replaced his alternate, he still kept up the mantle of Spider-Man, even though the other Miguel wasn’t spiderman; and that universe, that New York, wasn’t his to protect. Oh, and it was about 70 years behind his native 928. Old habits die hard, even for the most skilled of usurpers.

"Yeah, I do. I just... had a lot of work," he finally concedes, ruffling her hair, making her squawk.

The amount of times she’d caught him sneaking back late and beaten were too much for his own liking— to writ, only four, but still four too many. She doesn’t deserve to be dragged into his shit. Though today wasn’t one of those days, he was still so worn-out that he missed the whole morning with his daughter. He forces a smile, a poor attempt at hiding the complicated feelings stirring in his chest.

"You know how that goes. But don't worry, I’ll make sure to go to bed early tonight. So I wouldn't... y'know. Snore."

She pouts a bit. “You always say that. it's always work and you can't talk about it.”

Ouch.

“You know, if I had a super duper cool secret government job," oh, right, that was the excuse he pulled out of his ass, “everyone would know about it. And I mean everyone.”

"You don't even know what I do for a living," he states, "How do you know it's as cool as you think it is?"

“BecauuuuuuseUH! It’s with the Pentagon! You probably see the President!”

(As far as Miguel is concerned, with the hellhole that this universe’s politics are currently in, he’d rather stick a lit cigarette in his eyeball than meet the President. But that’s neither here nor there.)

“Maybe you stopped World War Three! Maybe you went behind the great firewall of China! Maybe you found the cure for cancer or found aliens and the world will never KNOOOOW,” she continues, throwing her arms out for dramatic flair and flopping back down hard enough to make her whole body bounce.

Miguel had completely bullshat that whole “secret government job” story, and he definitely did not anticipate the amount of implication in it for Gabi to latch onto and try to pick apart. That’s just…

Jesus. Way too much for his sleep-deprived brain.

“Maybe that’s why I’m the one working there and you’re not, princessa. You’d blab to everyone.”

She sticks her tongue out at him. Miguel can’t help but snort in spite of himself. He runs a tired hand over his face and shakes his head.

"The truth isn't as exciting as you think, I'm afraid,” he explains, “I'm like... a glorified paper-pusher, really. I get to read the boring reports and watch security footage all day. Super boring."

“Aw.” She crosses her arms in an exaggerated show of petulance.

“Yeah, ‘aw’,” he murmurs, propping his head up with his hand as he leans on his side. Without really thinking about it, he reaches out to play with the flyaway curls around Gabriella’s forehead.

After a bit of brooding, she glances back up at him. “But are there aliens in the footage?”

"No, honey, there's no aliens," he replies with a dry chuckle. "If I saw something strange on the footage, I would've told you by now."

Finally, Gabriella seems placated with this answer. If there’s anything she inherited from her father, it’s the O’Hara ability to cling onto a subject for ages.

Even if this one isn’t her real father.

“Fiiine. But promise me you’ll be on CNN first thing when it happens,” she says, holding out a pinky.

“When I end up on CNN?" Miguel raises an eyebrow. "You don't think I'm important enough already?”

Her eyes fly open. “I’m just saying-“

She scrambles to sit back up. “None of my friends can say their papa’s on the news! Or that he found aliens!”

"Well... you can tell them I work in a super secret place that I can't ever talk about. That's gotta count for something, right?”

“Yeah, but then they’re like ‘what does he do’ and I can’t even answer it!”

Miguel lets out a sardonic laugh. He should… really work on his lies.

"You don’t need to know what I do,” he chides, keeping his tone light, “it’s boring stuff, anyways. Definitely no meetings with the president or alien ambassadors.”

“Uuuggghhhhhhh.”

“And I should definitely stop letting you watch so much Discovery Channel,” he grumbles, though it lacks heat. Just add that to his list of parenting failures; failing to check if that channel is really age appropriate.

All the obsessive research in the world can’t truly make up for the fact that he barely knows how to be a father. That he’s nothing but a cuckoo in someone else’s nest.

Blessedly, his train of thought is cut short by his daughter’s voice, ever stubborn and ever hopeful. “But what if you do find aliens and you’re on there one day?”

“You’re still on that?!”

“Uh, yeah; I don’t wanna miss when you find aliens! Promise me you’ll tell all about it?”

With a soft sigh, he extends a pinky up for her to hold. She giggles and gives it a little squeeze.

"I promise you’ll be the first to know," he says, with as much conviction as he can manage for this batshit conversation. "And when I'm on TV, I'll tell you 'hi', okay?"

“Okay, papa.” The smile she gives is blinding.

“But right now,” he starts, finally getting up and swinging his legs off the bed (pointedly ignoring the way his body aches from the fights last night) “we need to get you fed.”

“I ate though!”

“What, a donut?”

The silence incriminates her immediately.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. C’mon, let’s get actual food into you.”

Father and daughter, carefree as ever, make a late start to the day, but a good one. Life is good, even if it’s one Miguel had to steal. He has a tiny little brick house in residential Manhattan, he has a beautiful little girl, and the most pressing concerns are making sure he manages to bullshit his way into being a good parent— no multiversal tragedies. Not yet.

Not yet.

[uncle-fruity]

Also, like... I get that there is a lot of anxiety about being seen as morally good & fighting for everyone at every turn, but! Crucially, the people who try to guilt trip you or judge you off your Tumblr presence don't fucking know you. They don't know what you do off Tumblr. They may not know any other social media that you DO use for your politics and heavy posting. And, tbh, at a certain level of offline activism & direct action, it is actively dangerous for you to be posting about what you do online, so a perceived lack of interest or dedication online does not necessarily translate to the efforts you put in to causes you care about.

Fact of the matter is, YOU are the only one who knows what you get up to. If it's not as much as you think you should be doing, that's for you to assess and change. If you feel like you're doing enough, or if you feel like taking on more responsibility in activism would overwhelm you or burn you out, that's okay! You know your limits better than anyone else. You get to set your priorities. And if you really want to help with social justice causes, you HAVE to take care of yourself. Anger, fear, and guilt are not sustainable motivations to drive a movement. You NEED places to relax and have fun and not think about how bleak things can get. You NEED to have places to retreat, enjoy yourself, and remind yourself that it's all worth fighting for.

I know this, because I'm in my 30s now. When I was in my early 20s, I was friends with a lot of folks who went hard during the Ferguson protests, and while many of them are still active in their activism, almost none of them are operating on the same level as they used to. All of them are burnt out & depressed. I spend a lot of my energy urging them to take care of their most basic needs. We also have a problem with a lot of older activists being too broken & traumatized to continue organizing. And part of the problem is people within the movement encouraging people to push past their limits until they have nothing left to give. Or just having no support systems in place to help people recover while actively judging people who need them & can't continue without them.

And, like, it's hard, because it's easy to start feeling like no one cares about the stuff you care about when you're out there trying to make change -- especially true if all your activism is online posting & raising awareness. It can feel like you're talking to a void or a brick wall. The idea that you are so stressed & strung out & never let yourself take a break from the harsh reality of the world while there are people who have the audacity to make time to enjoy their lives and put their efforts into other activities that aren't directly related to The Cause -- well, that's why a lot of people resort to guilt trips. I know I did, too, when I was younger and freshly angry. And I know that those guilt trips did nothing to convince anyone of anything. In fact, it was the constant guilt trips that made me retreat from those online groups. Where they might have had any and all skills I could offer, they instead made me feel like shit for doing what I could handle at the time. And even though I knew guilt tripping was a major manipulation & abuse tactic, I still resorted to it and, in doing so, I felt wrong. Like I betrayed some of my core values by trying to make people feel so bad that they would suddenly realize that they should be ashamed & join the movement headfirst. It just... doesn't work that way. A guilt trip will turn people off. If you want people to join a movement or be more active in a movement they are already part of, it is so much better to encourage them to come with you to organized events or give them something tangible to do that they can actually accomplish. And if you're just talking about posting online, well... that is not the most important thing to focus on, and is a really bad measure to judge someone's morality.

All that to say, a guilt trip is usually a manifestation of the desperation folks are feeling. It's not right to guilt trip folks, and if you're at that point that you feel like that's the only thing that will get people to change and care, then I'm sorry to say you are probably on the verge of your own burnout and you need to take a break. Please don't let people make you feel bad for not being angry or on your activism shit 24/7. And don't judge yourself harshly when you need to have boundaries online. The best tactic will always be community building and working with people & their various skills on their level. Compassion and encouragement go so much farther than guilt.

No matter what a post on tumblr tries to tell you, your moral and ethical stances will never be determined by what you reblog and what you scroll past. Don’t let manipulation tactics force you into doing anything you don’t want to do.

[icywaddle]

Mizu5 if a building fucking fell on my girl and everything turned out okay in the end

NOT CRACK

Ignore how late this is, you guys know I’m a slow ass writer

Mizuki scrambled away.

They couldn’t breathe

They didn’t want to inhale, feel the rise and fall of their

chest.

They didn’t want to hear Ena’s screaming voice behind them.

Their feet stalled as they crossed the threshold of the school’s entrance, guilt and fear tearing at their ribs as they heaved for breath.

Shit

Shit

Shit

Why?

Why did he have to go and tell Ena??

Mizuki clamped their eyes shut

Tangled their fingers in

their hair

It was the one thing they were going to do

on their own

They were finally going to stop being a coward

And it had all been

ruined

..?

Behind them.

A soft cracking sound.

Silence for a few seconds. They felt frozen. Ena’s footsteps grew closer, pounding the ground at a feverish pace.

There, again.

Louder.

They barely had time to open their eyes and watch Ena’s begin to widen in unrestrained terror before her scream reached their ears.

“Mizuki, watch-!”

Ena’s words were cut off as a loud crashing sound surrounded Mizuki. They could hear nothing else, as pieces of crumbling stone and debris began raining down over them. A piece of rock struck their arm, causing them to let out a yelp and almost fall down a couple stairs. The stairs shook under them, destabilizing their footing and sending them tumbling backward to the ground. The last thing they saw before the debris shut the entrance and blocked all light was Ena as she lunged forward, face wrenched in horror, one arm extended as if to try and pull Mizuki out. Then, a splitting pain struck their skull, and the world went dark.

Pain.

A dull ache was the first thing catching Mizuki’s attention when they came to. They groaned, registering the pounding in their head and the pressure on their legs. Even opening their eyes seemed to take a monumental effort, but they managed. The space around them was dark, save for a tiny beam of light trickling through the tiny pocket that they seemed to be lying in. Gravel and debris surrounded them, dust clouding the air as they coughed and choked on it. Glancing around with squinted eyes, they noticed that they were buried under a pile of rocks, exerting a crushing amount of force on their legs.

“Mizuki?? Mizuki!” Ena’s muffled voice cut through the haze of pain Mizuki was in. Faintly, they were able to make out a shifting shadow, occasionally blocking their source of light as Ena presumably scrabbled at the rubble over them.

“I’m.. I’m here..” Mizuki managed to croak out, their voice weak and gravelly. They let out a weak cough as they inhaled a mouthful of powder, the sound pitiful even to them.

The sound of Ena’s movement stalled. “Mizuki! Where are you??” She asked, falling silent to attempt to locate Mizuki’s reply.

Mizuki drew in a shaky breath, trying to distract themselves from the pressure of the rocks digging into their limbs. “Down here…” They mumbled weakly, “I- I can’t move.” Ena’s movements began again, this time sounding audibly closer to Mizuki.

“D-Don't worry-!” Ena said shakily, her voice skipping and stuttering as the gap in Mizuki’s gravelly hole began to widen. “We’re- We’re gonna get you out!” Her tone was shaky, wrought with terror, but she didn’t seem to let up on her efforts to dig Mizuki out. Why? Mizuki wondered woozily. Her nails must be getting ruined… all that debris… They let out a choked squeak as something shifted one of the rocks onto their leg in a new position, digging into a brand new spot on their shin. Maybe the pain is fuzzing out my brain. Mizuki thought, face twitching in discomfort as a warm trickle of something crept ticklishly down the left side of their face. As they laid there, more voices joined Ena’s, more pairs of hands arriving and helping to move the rocks away.

Soon, Mizuki glanced up, blinking like a deer in headlights, as the roof of debris that had been over their head was cleared. It exposed them to the obnoxiously sunny sky, casting what seemed like an altogether too bright beam of light on them. They attempted to let out a relieved sigh, but winced as their ribs immediately began to protest. In fact, their limbs had begun to go numb as well, reducing what was once an all consuming pain to a bearable pressure that prickled uncomfortably as the edges of the rocks dug into their body.

Through the blur of dust and bleariness and voices all around them, they caught the faintest glimpse of warm brown hair amidst bright black and neon jackets. Ena. She had been pushed back slightly by the crowd of emergency service workers staring down at the collapsed entryway, eyes wide with terror. She reached out a hand, eyes distant with shock but still trained on Mizuki. All the latter could do was offer a weak smile.

“Shit… her hair-!” One of the EMS workers huffed. The others turned to look, all hissing various curses and returning to their efforts at lifting the rocks off of Mizuki’s body. The first EMS member turned to another, gesturing with his hands. “She’s completely stuck. We're going to have to cut it.”

Mizuki’s eyes widened. “W-Wait..” They whimpered. “Don’t-..”

The EMS worker shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He murmured, briskly striding over to reach behind Mizuki’s head. “Your hair is stuck. We can’t get you out if we don’t cut it.”

Without even the strength to struggle, Mizuki simply laid there, something inside them shriveling up as they squeezed their eyes shut.

S

N

I

P

…

Mizuki couldn’t remember what happened after that.

everything seemed to go by in a blur

it didn’t feel real.

nothing felt real

The next thing they remembered, they were in the hospital.

As they blinked back to consciousness, they noticed a variety of things. A soft light over them, casting them in a halo of fluorescent warmth. A monitor next to them, beeping softly in time with their heartbeat. A clean white blanket, draped gently over their legs.

Ena.

Her hair was messy and tangled, bits of dust still littering the brown strands. The braid she kept in her hair was loose, the ribbon frayed. But she was still there, sprawled out across the edge of Mizuki’s bed.

“Ena..?”

Mizuki croaked weakly. It was all they could manage. Ena stirred softly, but didn’t get up. Mizuki could feel their breathing speeding up slightly, their head growing slightly fuzzy.

“Ena.”

Mumbling once more, Mizuki stretched out a hand. They had meant to gently smack Ena awake, but their arm seemed to give out halfway, dropping on to the top of Ena’s head. While this didn’t wake her up, Ena did gently lean her head into Mizuki’s hand, humming sleepily. As much as Mizuki wanted to preserve this moment, something about the lack of weight on their head was beginning to send them into a panic.

“Please, Ena-“

Mizuki choked the words out, feeling their throat begin to close around the sobs begging to escape them. Ena stirred, blinking groggily before noticing Mizuki.

“Eh? Mizuki..?”

She took only a second to spot the tears in Mizuki’s eyes, snapping to attention and bolting up.

“Mizuki! Are you- alright?”

“Ena-”

Mizuki squeaked out, their voice feeling tight and entirely unlike them.

“Ena- m-my hair-…”

Ena’s face fell.

“Mizuki.. I- When y-you were stuck- … They had to-! …” She trailed off, scooting forward, closer to Mizuki. The latter scrambled away, limbs screaming with every movement as they desperately felt the back of their head.

Gone

Years of effort

Years of care

Sliced away in an instant.

“Mirror-!” Mizuki choked out, eyes wide with terror. Ena, still concerned, reached into her pocket and pulled out a small makeup mirror. She gently held it out to Mizuki as if coaxing a frightened animal. Mizuki took it, freezing fingers scraping against Ena’s warm hand for only a second before they pulled away.

Shakily, they opened the mirror

Ah.

They really had been ruined

Their breath began to catch in

their chest

It felt almost too difficult to continue

A monumental effort with

Every

Heaving

Gasp

Of

Air

Hands reached around them, hugging them close, trying to coax them back down from their panic.

Mizuki leaned in, grasping at the warm girl in front of them like she was the only person who would ever exist. Their panicked breaths slowed, fingers slowly loosening their death grip on Ena’s sides.

They felt Ena relax too, muscles shedding their tension and sinking down without loosening her hold on Mizuki. The two seemed to melt together, a bundle of fabric and hair and warmth and tears.

Silent sobs continued to shake Mizuki’s body for several minutes, shamefully hiccupy squeaks escaping their mouth every now and then. Ena simply cradled them, gently stroking their back as their tears soaked into the shoulder of her shirt.

“E… Ena..?”

Mizuki’s voice was soft, a faint breath, almost more of a suggestion of speech than an actual question.

”….Mizuki?”

Ena’s reply was tentative, but there. A gentle whisper. An invitation to continue.

“Why… W-Why don’t you h-hate me?”

Mizuki’s voice was weak, sounding as close to breaking as a glass vase on the edge of a cliff. They sniffled softly, hands tensing against Ena’s back and digging into her shirt.

“I- I lied to you.”

They screwed up their eyes, trying desperately to stop the flow of tears. It didn’t work.

“All this time… I kept pretending I was- I… Was…”

Despite their best efforts, their voice cracked. The broken tone would’ve had them cringing at the sound, if they weren’t preoccupied with other things.

“… A- A real girl…”

The words tumbled out of their mouth,

shameful and

quiet and

wrong.

“Mizuki..”

Ena shifted, leaning closer to Mizuki, wrapping her warm arms further around their torso. They were shaking like a leaf, hiccuping occasionally as they tried vainly to keep their sobs in.

”I’ve never once thought you weren’t a real girl. Not back then, not now.”

…

Huh..?

Well, Ena’s always been a kind person, it’s understandable she’d feel-

“This isn’t pity.”

Ena said, cutting off Mizuki’s spiraling monologue.

”Mizuki.”

She slid back, cupping Mizuki’s cheeks in her hands. They tried to turn away, to hide their tear stained face and the shame they felt being this vulnerable. Ena gently held them there. Offering escape, should they try hard enough, but protesting softly. Mizuki slowly relaxed, eyes still closed against the flow of their tears.

“I don’t care what they said about you. I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”

“To me, you will always be Mizuki.”

“Whoever and whatever Mizuki happens to be.”

Mizuki simply sat there for a minute, stunned

how?

how could Ena still care for them?

“But… I’m..”

They stuttered, eyes fluttering open to the blurry sight of the girl in front of them.

“I’ll say this as many times as you need me to.” Ena murmured, gently using her thumbs to brush their tears away. As Mizuki’s vision cleared, they saw the smallest smile creasing Ena’s lips as she cast her warm gaze down on them. “I don’t care what you are, as long as you’re Mizuki. You could have horns, or a tail, or- or fifteen heads, or-!”

Mizuki couldn’t help themselves, an incredulous snort escaping them at the absurdity of Ena’s words. “F-Fifteen heads-?” They asked between hiccups, the corners of their mouth pulling up into a grin almost despite her current mood.

Ena herself flushed a brilliant red, stuttering for a second before reaffirming her resolve.

“Y-You know what I meant!” She exclaimed, shaking her head. Ena blew out an affectionately exasperated breath, the two of them lapsing back into their previous solemnity.

“Besides,” Ena began, “as far as I’m concerned, you haven’t told me your secret yet.”

Mizuki blinked, confused. “But..? You heard- Back there, on the rooftop-!”

Shaking her head, Ena’s expression softened as she made eye contact with Mizuki.

“You didn’t tell me. I don’t care what they said. I want to hear it from you.”

She tilted her head the slightest bit, giving Mizuki’s cheek a tender squeeze.

“As far as I’m concerned, I never heard anything at all.”

Mizuki’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly, tears welling up as they continued to stare at Ena.

“Will you tell me, Mizuki?”

In that moment, all they saw was Ena. That small, kind smile. The warmth in her crinkled eyes. The slight swishing of her brown hair in the fall breeze.

“I-…”

Mizuki swiped at the traitorous tears escaping their eyes, giving Ena a slow nod.

“Yeah… Yeah, I’ll tell you.”

They lifted their gaze, meeting Ena’s eyes.

“Ena, I…”

“I- Wasn’t born a girl.”

The words began to fall out of Mizuki’s mouth, cracks breaking down the dam she’d kept up for so long. Letting everything she’d held back flow out with a cathartic yet frightening sort of ease. Ena slipped her hands down to her lap, letting Mizuki talk without interruption.

“I’ve always felt more like a girl, well, ever since I can remember. Boyish clothes and things never felt right, puberty felt like an absolute nightmare-“

They were rambling now, random story after inconsequential tidbit, but Ena simply sat and watched them through it all.

“It took me until middle school to realize that this was- a thing, you know? Something that happened to other people besides me. And that I could do something about it.”

Mizuki glanced down at their trembling hands, but kept talking.

“So… I started to change the way I dressed. The way I acted. Even my voice.”

They glanced up, putting on a weak smile.

“This is the Mizuki you’re used to, eh, Ena?”

Their voice raised, not happy, but higher. It sounded like the familiar voice Ena had been hearing for months prior. It began to strike her then, how much lower Mizuki’s voice had been than normal.

The smile seemed to slip from Mizuki’s face, leaving behind a tender sort of sadness.

“I’m sorry I deceived you.”

Barely a murmur, the words slipped from their mouth and dissipated into the open air. Ena shook her head.

“You didn’t.” Mizuki raised an eyebrow at Ena’s rebuttal, mildly alarmed. Ena shook her head. “Ah- No, not like that. It’s just- I don’t think what you did was deception. You were scared, and I think that’s a completely fair reason to hold off on telling us.”

Mizuki shrugged mildly, glancing away. Tears began to prick at their eyes, but they rubbed them away, shaking their head.

“Yeah, but- I-”

“You’re not a bad person, Mizuki.”

Mizuki blinked.

“What..?”

Ena tilted her head. Smiled that patient, kind smile.

“You’re not a bad person. You never have been.”

Mizuki froze.

Not a bad person-?

Them?

But-

“None of this changes how I think of you.”

Ena murmured.

“You’re still Mizuki to me.”

“My groupmate.”

“My friend.”

“Nothing will change that.”

Mizuki simply sat there

They couldn’t think of anything to say

Tears flowed freely down their face, but they didn’t raise a finger to stop them.

“I-”

It felt like their voice had disappeared.

“I…”

But they had to respond-

“…”

Before they could, Ena pulled them into a hug.

“You don’t have to say anything- Just. Promise you won’t disappear on us?”

Ena’s voice was a quiet murmur by Mizuki’s shoulder, her warm breath lightly dancing across their ear as she spoke.

“Recover fast, stay in touch- Don’t leave us. Please..?”

Mizuki heard Ena’s voice waver, could feel the shaky breaths she was inhaling.

“I…”

Their instincts were screaming to

Run.

Hide.

Escape.

It was what had saved them before

But Ena was different.

Kanade,

Mafuyu,

Rui,

Akito,

All of the friends they had made.

They were all different.

Mizuki slowly raised their arms

Maybe, this time…

“Ena, I…”

They wrapped their arms around Ena, returning the hug.

Maybe, this time could be different too.

“I will. I promise.”

Word count: 2,670

[hainethehero]

No hate, genuine question. Why do yous think bucktommy was such a good relationship? Tommy bought him tickets to basketball when its established he doesn't like basketball and buck didn't even know if Tommy was gay or bi after 6 months like that doesn't seem like they knew each other at all what makes it seem like they have such a good relationship?

Genuine answer, I liked that Buck finally had someone that was upfront with him and really interested. Before then, it was mostly him chasing interests.

As for the basketball tickets etc., it was terrible writing. The writers clearly got direction from whoever (showrunner, execs etc) to just half-ass it. The writing was just terrible bc Tommy up until then was very in love with Buck, and even Oliver said, they were in the early stages of learning/exploring each other.

And again, there was clearly a miscommunication between the show & the interviews that Tim and Oliver did.

Tim said he liked Lou a lot and felt like Tommy was the perfect guy to set up Buck's queer storyline and relationship with. He also said he wanted to give the relationship respect and didn't want to make a big deal about it because a lot of shows do that, when queer couples should be treated not as something gratuitous and showy, but as something natural. He also said that he wanted to change up the fact that Buck has always been on a rollercoaster of relationships and has never quite settled and he wanted the opposite of that to happen with Tommy.

Oliver said that he wanted to do the same and be respectful of showing a genuine queer relationship. He even said that Buck and Tommy were taking things slow and getting to know each other and exploring this new territory for Buck. He even said he wanted a slow burn where the desire just builds etc.

Then, in the show, after season 7, there were barely any Buck and Tommy scenes. Yes, Buck and Tommy were there for Christopher's birthday, but that was more about Eddie. There was no genuine effort to develop their relationship. Most of season 8 was about Bathena & Henren, (not even Eddie or Chimney got enough screentime tbh). But they clearly showed through the writing and the pacing that the Buck/Tommy relationship was no longer something they wanted to spend time and energy on. The discrepancies then, are the difference in the interviews and then the show. People genuinely thought they were going to do what they said (see interview above & Google the rest of interviews bc there were a lot with the same sentiment expressed about being respectful about Buck and Tommy.) But they clearly didn't and went with the, "oh we were tricking you and rly just going to break them up so that Buck can kick off his yt boy angst" arc.

Honestly I'm still confused af:

Why did they dive into this plot if Tim and Oliver knew they were just going to half-ass it?

Did Oliver just not like Lou and ask Tim to end it abruptly?

If Oliver/the cast didn't like Lou, why did they keep him on?

If they did like Lou, why did no one defend him when he was getting sent death threats, petitions to get him off the show, degrading comments about his looks, name-calling etc?

And if Tim and Buck were genuinely truthful, that they wanted to be respectful in developing and building this queer relationship, why did they let it get railroaded by sloppy writing, bullying from stans, no promotion of the relationship ship whatsoever and minute long scenes where there's no deep conversations or focus on their dynamic?

If the 911 cast didn't like Lou so much, whyd they keep him on? Why did they continue the storyline? Why lie in interviews and say things like slow burn, instead of being brave and saying, well, i don't like the direction my character is going in, so we're scrapping Buck and Tommy?

It all just seems like blatant cowardice to me, from the entire cast, but specifically Tim and Oliver. And now that they broke up, Oliver's brilliant response is, "i want Buck to fuck this guy and that girl, and that girl and this guy and this girl..." like, CLEARLY he did not give a f--k about the relationship, so he should've expressed that earlier, instead of making stuff up about slow burn and desires, and getting over hurdles together.

So to answer your question, we were expecting what Tim and Oliver alluded to, (and up until 8x05 they seemed smitten with each other, even with boils on Buck's face- and then immediately broken up next ep) and instead got shitty pacing, little to no development of the relationship, and weak, half-assed writing that seemed more from a middle-schooler than an actual writer.

[elis-blawg222]

November 8 - Friday

Whew! Caught up at last!! (took me long enough)

Today was actually pretty good. I called Angel before school which made me really happy!! (I love him sm ill sob rn actually). My class wasn't toooo bad. The teacher talked sooo much ugh, but I drew the whole time so it was fine. I made my oc thinnn n pretty, love him. Also we had to go around the room and talk to people for like 30 minutes. 30. (did yk you have 30 minutes??)

It was so nerve wracking, especially because I was unprepared lol. I bet I looked like such a total weirdo with the lack of eye contact I was making, but at the time I was just trying not to break a nervous sweat LMAO.

Then, after my class I went to the library (on call w/Ange) and did an assignment. I went home afterwards because my phone was gonna die, and I needed my charger.

After a bit at home, I went to my next class, and I had a test in this one. It went good I think! We studied beforehand which I'm really grateful for.

We had a break in this class, so I went to walk around for a minute, and during this my mom texted me with:

"Eli

What did u eat today"

...

nothing. So, I said "I had some chicken nuggetss after my class hehe"

to which she responded "No fries no pop. How many nuggets"

GURL. So i was like "I did get some fries lol? and i got 10 why?"

and she just CONVENIENTLY NEVER RESPONDED. UGH.

(but wait theres more.)

After my class ended I went home and got ready for work. I was otp w/Angel (because seriously when am I not?) and he was playing minecraft. It was so peaceful and entertaining to watch and listen to him play- I loved every bit of it. Then, we talked about how we should play together (I ltrly will do anything to idc).

Work was actually ehh, not toooo bad. My dad and friend and her mom stopped by which was nice, and also my hairdresser LOL. They both tipped really well (obviously my dad did but yk).

I went home after what felt like one billion years, I was so so so happy. When I got home I just said a few things about my day like I usually do, and made sure to slip in the fact that I got a free meal at work. Which isn't wrong, I did, but I didn't get anything. I actually am just gonna let my friend get something tomorrow. but they don't have to know all that shhhhhhhh.

Then my mom stopped in front of me and was like what did you eat? and so i repeated myself bc no one listens to me <3

(I told her fried chicken tenders, fries, mac and cheese for context, a very 'me' meal tbh or at least it was)

Then, she was like "how many chicken tenders?" "no drink?" "did you finish it? all of it?" "so then you ate 2 full meals today?"

oh. my god. like. genuinely.

why. is. she. interrogating. me. pls. fucking. leave. me. alone. IM GENUINELY MORTIFIED AND HONESTLY IM SO AGGRIVATED. LET ME STARVE IN PEACE HOLY FUCK.

I tried to act like a normal person and be like ??? why are you interrogating me? BC WHY ARE YOU (as if I'm not literally starving myself)

She was just like "because I need to make sure you're getting nutrients." ok girl.

Then, I went to my room and she went to bed. I cleaned my room a bit and did a homework assignment, so I'm pretty proud of myself.

Also if you couldn't tell by now I fasted today. I was gonna either 48 hr fast or do 2 24 hr fasts back to back, but I think I'm just gonna do around 36 hrs. I wanna eat in front of my mom tomorrow so maybe she'll start leaving me alone (I seriously doubt it).

It just gets really frustrating when every meal I have she thinks isn't enough, even when I'm genuinely full. I can't eat like I used to like I physically cannot, she has to get that.

Anywho, I was thinking of making some cucumber boats tomorrow, I think it'll be fun.

Total Steps: 6.7k

Look at me meeting my step goal for once. I'm gonna start really making an effort at meeting it!

'Til tomorrow :)

(P.S. actually getting activity on these makes me so nervous but haiii)

[satureja13]

A sad mermaid walked past a bar. The werewolf bartender called to him: "Hey, why so sad? Come on in and have a drink. This pretty vampire here is going to fill us all in with the latest news from the toys front!" The pretty vampire hissed: "Shut up!"

(Somehow or other it shall have occurred a similar way ^^')

But Ji Ho stepped in Moogie's Bar nonetheless, needing some advice after his and Vlad's weird date. Ji Ho: "Do you think he still loves me after we removed the spell? He's as cold and distanced as always." Saiwa: "Vlad didn't have the ideal upbringing. He is a bastard and no one ever really cared for him until he met Leander and Wesley. We all know how that went. Then he met you and his whole world got shaken. For the first time he got a glimpse on how real love felt. But he couldn't have you. Now, that he finally can, he doesn't know what to do. But nothing ever changed his undying love for you. You know it, the Bond doesn't lie." Ji Ho: "But how does he keep all his feelings at bay then? Since I woke up at Verdantis and all those emotions hit me, I struggle to act 'normal'. It's so overwhelming. I want him so much it hurts. How am I supposed to barrel that all up inside?" They all sighed in unison.

Jack: "I guess it was the safest for him to not show his feelings. Just like you, in a way. To not hurt you, scare you and keep you save - and to prevent him from getting hurt himself. You'll have to tempt him like a shy deer I fear ^^' " Ji Ho: "Hmmm..."

And while Ji Ho mulled over on how to tempt oh so shy Vlad out of his hide, Jack and Sai talked about their relationships and came to terms that they should put some more effort in them. And change a few things - and themselves. Sai: "Don't worry, Ji Ho. We're all struggling, hm? Take baby steps. The road to change is stony, slow and painful. And sometimes you don't move forward at all. Look at me." Ji Ho looked at Sai.

Until Jack howled out: "Aouw, come on! Now don't you say that! The Sai from a few weeks ago would have complained and whined about having to be the captain again of this crazy mission and leading a bunch of weirdos through the vastness of space in this junkyard of a ship. And even a few days ago you'd all acted like Captain Ahab about hunting down Moby Dick aka Tiny Can. And now you're all in to rescue a man you don't even know to bring him back to his kids. You have changed. And I know you hate to admit it, but Tiny Can helped you to." Sai laughed: "And here I thought you were the captain ^^' " But Jack was right... he has changed and he's going to take a strong grip to the armrests of that captain's chair to fulfill their mission and he's going to start working towards taking an even stronger grip on his attempts to finally earn Jeb's wand!

(I wonder if that huge AC - permeating the air with Romantium behind their backs - has an influence on their decisions?)

And since they're talking relationships and changes, that faithful day-out with Greg came to Jack's mind. Where he'd told him that relationships are hard work. And that he is stronger than he thinks he is. That was long before he even entered the Therapy Game. And yes, he now was way more stronger then he had been then. Stronger than ever. He, too, changed a lot. He survived his own (ingame) death and Lou cheating on him with Caleb (kind of), his coma, the cowplants, Vlad's death, Greg snatching his beloved Noxee from him, the break-up with Kiyoshi and months of searing pain and whatever else! He's strong enough - and he'll survive giving his and Kiyoshi's love a second chance too. He's going to fight for it, because he is the Super Soldier! (And a werewolf - after all ;)

It was getting late and Ji Ho returned to their quarters. And when heading to the bathroom, he found Vlad - in his single bed again. He didn't even change clothes or bothered to put a blanket over him...

He must have sensed Ji Ho. "You're here..." Vlad murmured in his sleep and sighed contently. "Always." Ji Ho whispered. He's going to throw that bed in the trash compactor by tomorrow and Vlad is going to have to deal with sleeping in their bed from now on.

'Oh no, darling No wind, no rain Or winter's cold can stop me, baby, na na, baby 'Cause you are my goal If you're ever in trouble I'll be there on the double Just send for me, oh, baby, ha

My love is alive (woo) Way down in my heart Although we are miles apart If you ever need a helping hand I'll be there on the double Just as fast as I can Don't you know that there

Ain't no mountain high enough Ain't no valley low enough Ain't no river wide enough To keep me from getting to you, babe'

Ain't no Mountain high enough - Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell Another highlight from the Awesome Mix Vol 1 (OST from Guardians of the Galaxy 1)

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter: 'Piglets in Space' ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-29

[anomaliex]

I like to think that Riz is autistic (and maybe has adhd?), which greatly contributes to his social struggles pre Highschool, and him developing serious social competence later on kind of makes me think so even more? Words. This headcanon is very precious to me, for some reason.

Riz is initially presented as the socially awkward dorky briefcase kid, and though he grows into being more suave like his father (Brennan's words) and has really high insight and persuasion by the end of junior year he's still kind of a "weirdo", he's just gotten better at reading people and adjusting accordingly. And, like, understanding social structures and how to exploit them ("we don't need cool people. We just need a lot of dorks.")

My experience with autism and empathy and social interaction or whatever has been that allistic people, for some reason, seem to "just know" how to approach others and whether they're well received. It's like some kind of secret language that you're not in on, an instinctual knowledge that you for some reason lack, making you an outcast for reasons you genuinely don't really get. ("I don't have many friends even though I'm pretty social, which is weird.")

The way I've rationalised this is that they read tone, body language etc subconsciously, leading to them clocking things without really thinking about them too hard, whereas I can only do so with a conscious effort. I'm good at people reading, at picking up on non-verbal cues and remembering previous behaviour and breaks from patterns and analysing what they might mean and all that, but I had to actively teach myself that? It's something you have to learn if it doesn't come to you naturally, and I think as Riz mechanically levels up and increases his proficiency bonus and gains expertise and stuff, he's just gradually observing and memorising all these things in a very logical and objective way.

Additionally, he figures out how to adjust his own behaviour in ways that are appeasing to others. This means masking but it also means, like, learning how to suck up to people. He learns where to look so people think he's making normal eye contact, at what volume to keep his voice, which forms of stimming pass as "normal guy being bored" and which are "what a freak", and even to just not info dump at all unless he's in the right company no matter how bad he wants to (he doesn't shut up about his cases around his friends, though). This isn't necessarily a good thing, it's just a thing. I think that's part of growing up for a lot of autistic teenagers. This is how I interpret his persuasion, kinda, and it's notable that he's worse at this than insight. It's one thing to analyse and know what people think and want, it's another to actually get yourself to do it when it really goes against your nature.

There's also something to be said about his violent anger towards the rat grinders, and Kipperlilly specifically. Autistic teenager when someone drags his special interest (which is connected not only to his truest form of growth but also his personal view on justice) (in this case adventuring. I think it's gen just adventuring and investigating) through the mud:

(Why he doesn't like it is more nuanced than this expresses but I'm referring to like. How strong his emotional reaction is compared to how he usually acts lol. Also rigid morals and stuff are a symptom tm but hey.)

Ohhh I also think Fabian is autistic, but he happens to be more easily digestible for others because he's athletic and rich and stuff but gods does he also suck at people-ling initially (and honestly he never gets particularly good at it, he just happens to be charming and a good performer but that doesn't necessarily mean he knows what he's doing), especially with other teenagers (it probably doesn't help that he canonically went on adventures with his father for a while which is why he got into school a year later. This kid doesn't have any experience with people his age at the beginning) and oh god I got off track this sentence is really long. But, like, something something, neurodivergent (especially autistic) people tend to kinda flock together automatically? Which is why I think Riz decides Fabian is his best friend so quickly. They're very special to me.

[obstinaterixatrix]

an autograph costs extra <3 for Shimimori

[swordsofsaturn]

early seasons spn homophobia is actually so crazy because they literally do not look gay. hamfisted gay jokes when the characters look straight as hell. "you look the type" they literally don't. is the thing

[disposal-blueeee]

from this thing lolz

ty to @cherry-207 for the idea !! XPP

vargas by zarla-s

[uncanny-tranny]

I think the thing about the way people conceptualize empathy is... when you're interacting with other people, they are going through things that, which you may empathize with, you won't always understand, partially because you're two different people, but also because not all situations are 1:1 copy-pastes that are easy to understand.

This isn't saying that empathy is useless, but that acknowledging when you relate personally to somebody and yet also recognizing that this is their struggle is important. When people pretended to empathize with me, it made me feel like I was being placated to. I felt like people were only trying to shut me up by saying that they, personally, "get it," when I knew they didn't. I just don't want people replicating that because they genuinely do want to help the people in their lives.

[candlebel]

I cared. I still do. I still think of you and I still cry over you. You were importat to me. You still are.

[flavia8]

Not to mention Kpop on main but...

Man, I'm genuinely sad at what happened/is happening with Seunghan, he literally did not deserve any of this. I genuinely hope he and the other members of Riize make it out okay because what the fuck.