#I CELEBRATE MYSELF
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THE FIRST PART OF THE FIRST SCENE OF OSAS our wip IS WRITTEN IT IS THREE PAGES AND 800 WORDS
Now to write the rest of this giant scene...
-Grace ♥️
#my post#osas#of sinners and seas#writeblr#writblr#IDC THO#I CELEBRATE MYSELF#i haven't written in so long#its been like a year#but here i am sitting pretty with all this#im doing it im doing the thing#the outline for this scene is a full page long btw#that doesnt say much considering most if not all the scenes i outline tend to be that length but#still#i celebrate myself#we can do tag games soon guys :'))
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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#pokemon#winter#cubchoo#delibird#togetic#gimmighoul#snover#piplup#minior#sawsbuck#winter sawsbuck#cherubi#santa#christmas#Forcing myself to post through the art block#I'm no longer religious but christmas is commercialized AF so I celebrate it as a gift-giving excuse with other atheist/agnostic friends#Merry Capitalism! /j
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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#idk if anyone made this but i wanted a fat specific one for myself anyway ahfkfkahfkglsj#fat femme friday#fat lesbian#celebrity bun
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REPLICA PLAYLIST
MUSIC UNDER CUT
I have been receiving requests for any songs that inspired Replica, so here, have my personal playlist. Sorry it’s not Spotify/Soundcloud but they don’t have some of these songs available so uh… guess you’re stuck with YouTube vids. For fun I'll include my personal titles for them (which might give a few hints of what to expect in the future/end).
Replica Main Theme - “Die for You” by Grabbitz Like Father Like Son Like Brother (Omega and Shelldon) - "As Above So Below" by Alistair Lindsay Mikey's Theme / The 1st Vision - "Suzume no Tojimari" by Nanoka Hara Military (Mad) Dogs / Central Park Colony - "Imperium" by Madeon Shanghai - "Icarus" by Madeon Boom Goes the Donnie-mite (Mikey/Donnie vs the Sweeper) - "The Red Zone" by Mitsuoto Suzuki The Day the Sky Bled Red - "7 Seconds Till the End" by Nobuo Uematsu Going Out Like a Boss (Raph and Leo) - "Agape" by Nicholas Britell Remembering the Right Way (Mikey and Leo) - "The Souls of Many" - by Alistair Lindsay Mystic Hands / The 2nd Vision - "Am I Dreaming" by Metro Boomin x A$AP Book 2 Trailer - "Sea Dragon" by Covet 7 Years Later - "Iron" by Woodkid Leo's Theme / Attack on the Labor Camp - "Ego Death" by Polyphia Omega's Theme - "Touch" by Daft Punk Flat Lines (Omega Alone) - "Die Toteninsel Emptiness" by 1000 Eyes Spear - "Monsters" by Tommee Profitt Final Protocol - "The Kraken" by Katie Dey Rise / Epilogue - "Close in the Distance" by Masayoshi Soken & Tom Mills
I will admit, it's a little embarrassing since you can easily see the patterns of what I've been listening to for the past year or two. I swear I listen to more than just videogame OSTs, these songs just jive well with the story and I often find lyrics distracting when brainstorming scenes. Regardless, the music I listen to is such an important part of my creative process and some of these songs really defined the scenes I now have locked in my head. So I figured it was only fair to give them the credit they're due.
I will continue to add to this playlist, and will note in comic updates when one of these songs is applicable!
#lofi Donnie anyone?#also sort of celebration for 19k followers wow#should I do something else for it?#I particularly like Leo's theme being titled Ego Death#very fitting#Also the final song makes me cry because the lyrics are just too dang perfect#I'd like to do an animatic with the song when this story is all done#check out the lyrics if you get the chance#in fact I'd like to do an animatic trailer for the Book 2 Teaser#we'll see though#i can't allow myself to get too distracted from the comic itself haha#replica#rottmnt replica#kathaynesart#playlist#music#spoilers? but like... you know how it ends in the movie so not really?#kind of?#did you see the rise movie?#then you’ve been spoiled sorry#posting again at an ungodly hour#I am tired#save rottmnt#rottmnt#TMNT#Donatello#casey jones
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this is canon in my celebrity au
#god i hope people have seen this meme if they havent ive embarassed myself#ariana griande#goodtimeswithscar#scarian#scariande#desert duo#i have griande brainrot rn#spark draws#celebrity au
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I'm back on my bullshit I guess
that redraw I was talking about.. previous versions under the cut
I like how it's less stiff now
#murl drawing ruikasa again ?!?!?!?!?#probably not gonna draw that much of them again even if the hyperfix is coming back though#my brain is way more focused on other things this time </3#going back to my roots is fun ngl#this was the first ruikasa fanart ive done...... insane..#pjsk#prsk#project sekai#colorful stage#pjsk fanart#rui kamishiro#tsukasa tenma#pjsk tsukasa#pjsk rui#wonderland x showtime#wxs#ruikasa#murl draws#im lowkey proud of myself honestly#anyways. wanted to do this because i kinda hated the last one#people who initially followed me for rks you may celebrate /silly
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Frank Iero - Projekt Revolution 2007 in West Palm Beach, FL
This video of Frank makes me go au au auuuu! Had to share it with the masses.
source
edit: THANK YOU FOR OVER 1K NOTES!! HAVE SOME MORE!
#flash warning#mcr#mychem#my chemical romance#frank iero#project revolution#pro rev#gifset#gifs#yeah im down bad for this performance#i made these myself#i narrowed it down to 6 gifs but the whole video is top notch#the audio is fucked btw#his handsss#the way he handles the guitar#can i be a guitar?#i added some new gifs to celebrate 1k#my most popular post ever#im in my actual tumblr era just a decade late
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and there’s a special kind of sadness that seems to come with spring
it’s blorbo’s birthday yay 🥳 🥳🥳
#and since I missed the 8th this year I must redeem myself at least in some way…….#insert that one tumblr post ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on#on another note#not me listening to south london forever for the umpteenth time thinking mmmm college au 🤤🤤🤤#aph england#hws england#hetalia#also not to be rude to myself or him#actually no#to be#he reminds me of that one lady gaga meme#she’s meditating guys#she’s died
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hands and touch (ID in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum spoilers#ruporas art#just wanted to draw some gay hands#and feeding myself for hand holding content… they of all ppl arent really the type for it#but i love to draw them relent their Harsh criticism of their hands and get gentle with it#if not for themselves definitely for the other#but happy yaoidays… or whichever u celebrate…. i havent been in the festive mood lately so this is kind of stuff youll get from me :’]
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A lil gift for everyone.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#merry Xmas to folks who celebrate#have a safe one#here’s a lil Emmy for yall#pocket Emmy makes a cute gift#keeps you company and sane#and is super helpful#hehe#anyway small doodle cos I exhausted myself from visiting family
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"Your heart was in the right place. Don't blame your earnestness and efforts for their lack of understanding—the right people will appreciate your heart."
EDIT: i mention this in the tags already, but please don't copy my vent tags in your reblogs. thanks for understanding.
#fnaf eclipse#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#traditional art#bright colours#self-insert#my OC Esther#nearly didn't colour this because i was really happy with the lines#but i'm glad i did#please don't copy these tags i'm just going to vent a bit#sigh i've been really feeling it lately#just very discouraged when my efforts to help are dismissed#i know i'm a people pleaser and i just want people to like me#but like#sometimes we just don't click#and it's not worth trying to work myself to the bone to convince people to give me a chance#and it's not fair to blame myself for the friendships that never came to be#they're on their own journey and i'm simply not a part of that journey#just as they are not a part of mine#and that's fine#it's easy to forget when we can connect with so many people online#that we have a limit to how many quality relationships we can realistically maintain#what does it matter if you have so many friends who “like” you#but have no one close enough for you to be open and honest with?#so i will save my heart for those who appreciate it#for friends who will celebrate with me as i celebrate their achievements#who i feel comfortable enough with sharing our troubles and sorrows and supporting each other through it#those are the friends who are worth my heart
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anyways happy pride to all my high risk queers out there, to all my disabled queers for whom events aren't accessible to, to my immunocompromised folks who can't risk attending events where people aren't masked or taking covid precautions! happy pride to my fellow cripqueers that want to be out there fighting and celebrating with their friends and family and can't because it's not safe for them to do so– you're not alone and you deserve to celebrate too. we all do.
#s.txt#okay to rb by the way#ngl this is mostly for myself but it's also something i feel strongly about#especially given everything i've seen lately talking about weighing risk vs pleasure as if they're mutually exclusive#or that there aren't high risk queer folks that deserve to access queer joy as well#i would literally kill to be able to celebrate pride with my queer fam this year and i can't bc i can't afford a reinfection#and it makes me so sad#queer#pride month#covid mention#covid isn't over
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from the bottom of my jayvik heart, happy christmas tumblr 🎄
i've wanted to do a leyendecker study (if that's what this is) for ages, and honestly they're just the perfect subjects!
here's the original, i found it on pinterest:
#eek im so excited about this piece it's been a while since i've had inspiration like this !!#happy channukah as well to anyone that celebrates i also wish you a happy merry jayvik holiday#jayvik#jayvik fanart#arcane#arcane league of legends#jayce talis#jayce arcane#arcane jayce#viktor arcane#arcane viktor#you will never ctach me tagging a post just 'league of legends' sorry league players#im not ashamed of myself but even i can only do so much#jc leyendecker#leyendecker study
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long winter nights and growing desires.
#jopzier#the terror amc#francis crozier#thomas jopson#LONG TIME NO JOPZIER#i'm celebrating the weekend as well as just#taking just a little time to doodle for myself with no pressure#your honor i just love them
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