#my brain is way more focused on other things this time Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[murmurmurl]

I'm back on my bullshit I guess

that redraw I was talking about.. previous versions under the cut

I like how it's less stiff now

[keeps-ache]

once again i am on the playlist lol

[sheeezu]

Yes, this is a new account, I just made this. I don't care if people question the authenticity of my post, my experience as a shifter, or whatever I'm about to say.

I don't know how to use Tumblr, nor do I know how to make my post reach people who need it, nor would I be a narcissist and say "you're lucky if you found my post!" I don't mind if this reaches an audience or not, I'm glad to get everything off my chest.

Yes. I've shifted.

I have shifted realities, more times than I can count on my fingers, and that is for a very specific reason, which I'll explain later.

I'm writing this because I'm about to permashift, and no, I won't hear out any antishifters or people who don't like permashifting in general, I don't care about your opinion so don't waste my time.

Before I start, I'd like to say one thing:

I was irrational minded, I lacked belief in myself and shifting. Shifting often times felt like a chore more than a fun activity, and i have to admit, it became an unhealthy habit.

So? Why did I mention this?

Because I had been lurking around shifting communities and I realised everyone feels like this, a very (mentally) painful feeling where the lack of shifts starts acting as your biggest enemy, and the phrase:

"Shifting needs practice!"

Sounds like poison when it comes from an experienced shifter.

Though, is the phrase actually true?

No, not at all.

Shifting does not need practice!!

Here's why:

(BTW, I will explain my "method", no matter if I have time or not. Also, I don't call this reality "Current Reality", instead I call it Void reality, so don't get confused.)

The "practice" you're doing is only affecting your void reality (taking time out of your day, making you constantly think you're in your learning phase, so it doesn't exactly lead to your desired reality, does it?)

Of course, if you view it as a skill, it will in some way act like that, it'll become a skill for you, and you can never succeed on your first, second, third, hundredth try, because in your brain you have registered the fact that shifting is this grand, universal task, and that it is very difficult (because its common sense that you practice difficult things to get good at them)

Practice is a very humane and earthly act, if people have succeeded doing just practice, then good for then, they're right in their own way, but it didn't work for me, and in my opinion it's the worst way to view shifting, and often times it is demotivating, and you'll mess up you're entire journey.

Shifting is not a skill, shifting is a universal law.

I'll become more clear as I explain my journey:

My journey:

I found shifting from a random YouTube video 3 years ago. I might have only said cool and moved along.

A year later something traumatic happened in my life, which shook me so badly I needed an escape.

First of all, I chose astral projecting, but I realised I was too much of a coward to do so.

Then I came towards shifting, first DR was very typical, it was Hogwarts.

Having no knowledge whatsoever in the topics of spirituality, meditation, I went straight to methods, because they were like guides for me, I was very inexperienced, of course, and looked at other people and what they were doing for guidance.

Alice in wonderland method didn't do much, raven method was too uncomfortable (side note, all this raven method does is make you too focused on your void reality, cmon, in your DR are you laying down like a starfish?) And I was having terrible trouble with my intrusive thoughts (which made the floor disappear from under my feet, made the stairs for the stairs method too short to climb or straight up made them dissappear as well)

I didn't have any luck that year, no mini shifts, no lucid dreams, or sleep paralysis. And my DRs never remained constant. They always changed on a daily basis.

I was big on methods, I couldn't realize they never worked for me.

Although, this year of failure led me to finally figure out where I belonged.

A DR made out of scratch, which I spend much effort in putting the pieces of it together.

The DR, which was called "Home reality" really made me feel settled in my journey.

LOA, and the consciousness theory were the leading factors which made me shift.

And don't worry, it isn't what you're tired of being told, I didn't just apply any orthodox definition of LOA and succeeded.

Background to my first shift:

It was a particularly stressful day, I really missed my home.

I was studying at my college (I still am, but...) and I was dreading giving a chemistry test, I did not prepare. In my mind, one thing was constantly looping in my head.

The scenario of the chemistry teacher coming in, and taking the test, and the next day I get it handed back with a big fat zero.

But then I stopped and wondered, having already known about the consciousness theory, so according to it:

"I am constantly letting this thought run in my mind, and constantly letting this reality dictate what happens next."

Basically, I realized what was about to happen next was indirectly in my control, but with my line of thinking, I was letting this reality control it directly.

I stopped, like actually stopped thinking.

And with a blank mind I thought.

"I won't have to take any test today."

And went around telling my classmates this with a confident tone.

The teacher came in, said we'll instead do some practicals in lab.

So the test got cancelled.

Going home, I got excited, i felt powerful.

I decided to apply this to shifting.

Before shifting, I took a nap during the day, (if you're tired your body insists on sleeping, so your mind will get hazy and you will start acting lazy towards your goal)

And after living how I normally would, before bedtime, I listened to some songs, and look at a Pinterest board which reminded me of my home reality.

My method and what happened next:

First phase of shifting:

When I laid down on the bed to start shifting, I first got comfy (for me, if I feel sleepy for some reason, I laid on my back, I can't fall asleep in that position, but if I think ill stay awake until I reach a "detached state" then I sleep on my side, it's comfortable)

I obviously wasn't checking the time, but I spent about 10 minutes getting relaxed, all I do to relax is:

a) look at the blackness (closed eyes, looks like starry skies) and try to believe I'm looking at the milky way.

b) think about my home reality, just faces of my loved ones, and nostalgia inducing images.

c) Affirm, but don't focus entirely on affirming, usually in the back of my mind I'm repeating "I have shifted to my home reality" "I have shifted my senses to my home reality" "I have stopped sensing the void reality" "I am smelling, tasting, feeling, hearing and seeing my home reality" no other fancy affirmations required. (Now that I think about it, you need to affirm NOW because this method has two phases, one where you are shifting, and one where you have shifted, and you are in the 3D, where you are occupying your DR self, their thoughts, and memories, and popular method usually only have one phase, either you are shifting, or have shifted. So my point is if you affirm later and you'll be affirming when you're supposed to be in your DR, and obviously, your DR self won't be spouting out affirmations about shifting to a random reality for no reason.)

During this time, you'll feel tingly all over. It's a good sign.

And you'll feel a certain detachment, like you aren't exactly here, you have no idea what position you're lying in, and where your feet are. (Please, for the love of God do not start counting your feet or get freaked out that you can't feel your leg, you'll come back to the void reality.)

So you can start the next phase.

Middle phase (optional):

To prepare for the next and last phase, you can do this to get ready, or don't (First read the third phase)

This is all about connection to your DR.

Think about memories from your DR, focus on the faces of your loved ones, the way you act, talk, your mannerisms in your DR, or you can simply say affirmations like these one:

My name is ___.

I work as a ___.

My age is ___.

Don't try to imagine vividly or anything, lightly touch upon the basic details of your DR, the construction and foundation of any reality and the person, who has existed there for their entire life.

(That's you!)

Phase three:

Take a sudden, abrupt stop from your stream of thoughts. (Yes intrusive thoughts will still pop up but don't give any importance to them) when you're in a blank state of mind, not longer than 30 seconds, you need to build up to the last step of your shifting method, and journey.

a) start imagining hearing the voices of your loved ones or just any voice, calling your DR name, your nicknames, with different tones. (For example, i heard my name in an angry tone from my father when he was scolding me, I heard my name followed by a laughter when my S/O teased me.)

OK, for me, I started feeling intense, groundshaking symptoms at this moment. Sudden flashing of lights, extreme feeling of floating, and ofcourse, feeling tingliness so much that it felt like pins and needle on my entire body. (I did ignore the symptoms)

b) plan the rest of your day in your DR, which you will be spending.

AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T SAY IT LIKE THIS.

❌️When I reach my DR ❌️ I will have to go to that eye specialist for that appointment.

Instead: (and the more you personalize it, the better)

Ughhh, I have to go to that appointment- this day will suck.

(Don't mind my example, that was the only thing I could think of at the moment)

c) in this reality, you are constantly thinking of something, your thoughts are definitely what constructs this reality, and your current thoughts are affecting your subconscious. (By this point, your subconscious is grounded in your DR, so don't worry about that bastard.)

Now, you're going to start thinking, thoughts which are going on in your DR self's mind, start with one sentence, with which you'll be able to start consciously thinking like your DR self.

And think in the style, tone, and mood of your DR self, and keep the thoughts strictly related to your DR.

Thats it, but what happens afterwards? And what happened to me?

So for me, I started feeling weird while I was thinking.

And I remember I thought this:

"Ugh, I don't want eggs for breakfast."

(I'm not saying this is the key to shifting, at this point, I had covered various topics, including, weather, my upcoming work assignment, and praised my S/O for a good 5 minutes.)

And I started panting, like suddenly I was trying to catch my breath, the room felt bright, so I opened my eyes, and well, I was in my home reality :)

I was delirious for a few second, my S/O was looking at me worriedly, but surprisingly, it didn't even take me a minute to adjust, it felt all so natural and I wasn't scared.

I didn't even feel emotional, at all, and didn't hug my S/O with tears in my eyes, I straight up asked to be served breakfast, incase anyone was wondering.

So that's it.

Although i have much to say, I'm tired of writing, but I'm more than willing to answer each and every one of your questions, although I only have 7 hours left till I permashift, I'll remain mostly active till then.

And no, I'm not rereading this to fix my grammar, so just ask if anything confused you.

Ask away.

I'm still not sure if this'll reach anyone or not.

[scorpiosbite]

the time actress!reader mentioned obx in her interview

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 ────୨ৎ──── while the obx cast were together in drew’s hotel room madelyn in her ever obsession of game of thrones brought up that you had mentioned how much you love obx in an interview. causing them to watch the interview together.

𝜗𝜚 pairing: actress!reader x drew starkey

author’s note: this takes place in 2023 during the filming of obx 4 and 3 weeks after the first time they watched the show together. at this point of my timeline the cast have watched the entire first season of game of thrones.

drew was scrolling through his phone, you had followed him back on instagram a week ago and he was on the moon. though he hadn’t messaged you yet. unsure on what to say to you. drew prided himself on being a confident man yet, your ability to make him nervous through a screen was unprecedented.

while stalking your profile for the umpteenth time he found himself wondering about you yet again. your limited amount of posts made you even more intriguing to him. he wondered what kind of person you are. what things made you tick, whether you would stare up at him with those siren eyes, whether you moaned or whimpered during sex, whether your face scrunched up and your mouth hung open as your chest heaved like it did in your sex scene that hasn’t left his brain since the moment he watched it.

just as he fell into a spiral of thoughts about you madelyn spoke up from her seat across the room, drawing the attention of everyone else, and drew was suddenly reminded that he wasn’t alone in his room. “oh my fucking god! i forgot to tell you guys!” she was staring down at her phone. but drew was having trouble focusing on her, still consumed in his thoughts of you.

the others, however, had no problem driving their attention to her, so drew remained in his bubble staring at the most recent post on your profile, a vogue magazine cover from three months ago, of you, seated, legs spread on the iron throne with the sword dark sister held in your hands standing between your legs, the crown of aegon the conquerer tilted on your head, the lace thigh high socks with garters disappearing under the skirt of your tight mini dress and the bold red coating your lips enticing him further.

it wasn’t till he heard your name slip from madelyn’s lips, was his attention torn from the captivating sight on his screen. “wait, what you just say?” madelyn smirked “of course, only when i say y/n’s name, do you listen.” drew blushed lightly. but didn’t make the move to defend himself, after all they would be right, he had been distracted from the moment he saw you in all your glory stealing the screen.

“what i was saying that y/n mentioned obx in an interview, just pass me the remote, i’ll show you.” drew’s heart rate spiked, the thought of you having seen him in his element, doing his job, made him self conscious in a way that he wasn’t ready to admit. once madelyn had the video loaded on the screen, drew was once again struck by how effortlessly beautiful you are. dressed in simple black pants and an off-shoulder cream long sleeve top, brown boots disappearing under your pants and simple gold hoop earrings, your brunette hair loose and following in natural waves. drew looked at your empty neck and thought how good you would look if there was a necklace with his initial hanging there, branding you as his.

madelyn skipped through the video until the moment you were talking. the interviewer asked you and your cast-mate what shows you watch during your down time when filming, your voice rang through the silent room and drew was struck once again by how attractive your accent sounded, your british accent deep and sultry but more casual than the tone you use when playing visenya. “oh, well mimi and i love outer banks a lot, to the point where we quote it on set quite often. i think we’ve annoyed everyone.” you laughed and drew thought about how he wanted to hear that sound for the rest of his life.

your cast mate and best friend, mimi who plays arianne martell laughed and agreed and the interviewer who was surprised by your answer said that obx was one of her favourite shows too. your face immediately brightened as you watched her intently as she spoke about the show. what drew would give to have you look at him like that.

madelyn paused the video and drew knew that once everyone had left his room he was going to watch the entire video. “that’s so cool!” jd gasped. “i know right? that’s so crazy that she’s seen our show.” madison replied. but drew couldn’t bring himself to speak, he wondered what you thought of him after watching his performance. he wondered if you had the same all consuming thoughts he had about you, about him.

“i followed her when i first watched the show and she followed me back, but after seeing that clip a week ago i messaged her and we’ve been talking back and forth ever since, she’s so fucking cool, it’s insane. i think we’re friends now!” madelyn raved. “you’re friends with her?!.” drew was baffled, how was madelyn just bringing this up, she has known about his developing crush for weeks. “ah, now you want to chime in drew?” “yes, we’re friends and she’s gonna be in la when we get back so i told her she should come hang out with us, what you guys think?”

drew’s heart felt like it was going a mile a minute, he was gonna meet you. what the fuck.

thank you for all the love on the first part i’m so grateful. and for everyone who wants to be added to the tag list i’m figuring out how to do that so please be patient with me. also please send me asks about this au i would love to do like a drew starkey x actress!reader thoughts thing, but let me know what you thought of this part!

[hope-for-the-planet]

Trans person in the US. Bust some of the doomerism for me? Tell me it's going to be okay?

Hi Anon

Usually, I have boundaries for myself about keeping this blog focused on environment-related issues, because there are limits to what I can speak knowledgeably about. But now doesn’t feel like the time for that.

Anon, I will tell you that I live in the US, I am queer, my spouse is trans, and we have two young children. I am sitting right there with you in the fear and grief and every day when I ask myself “is there still hope” I find reasons to say “yes”.

They want us—all of us, not just queer folks—to feel overwhelmed and hopeless, because despair is a tool that keeps people from realizing their power and taking action.

They want us to feel so afraid that we lose our faith in other people and withdraw from our communities, because we are easier to conquer alone.

Do not give them what they want.

Hope is most necessary in the bad times. The ability to imagine a future that is better than things are now is exactly what gives us the power to begin making things better. Our community has been through terrible things before, and they did not lose hope or give up—otherwise we would not be where we are today.

When you start to feel like all the light is being blotted out, turn off the news, put away your phone, and go get in touch with something you love. Go outside and look at the sky, talk to a friend, listen to music, do some small thing to make something better even if it’s just cleaning your kitchen or picking up some litter around the block or returning an extra stranded cart in the grocery store parking lot. Remind your brain that you have agency to make positive change in the world through your actions.

I know it is really hard to pull out of the darkness sometimes. I know there will be days that hope seems like a foolish, naive thing, that despair and distrust seem like the only rational options. But hope is what keeps us alive. Hope is what allows us to save each other.

I wish I could give you a specific article or other source to reassure you that everything is going to be ok, but things are still too in flux day by day. I can tell you that people are already fighting back, in big and little ways, all over this country and the world. These orders and bills are being pushed by a loud but small minority—this is not how the majority of the country feels about trans rights.

Make a plan for staying safe. Reach out to your community. Find music, activities, podcasts, movies, whatever helps you feel uplifted and take mental breaks from dwelling on the news. If you can, find ways to get involved in making things better in whatever big or small way feels doable for you--it may help push back on the doomerism more than you think. And my inbox is open if you need to talk.

I wish I could invite you over for dinner. I wish I could look into your eyes and tell you that things may get hard for the next few years but that does not mean that your life can't still be full of joy and beauty and fulfillment in spite of that.

I’m right there with you. Let’s make it through this together <3

[bubblegumgothglados]

This is my RACK focused judgment free primer for heavy impact play. It covers every part of the body from head to toe and at no point does it say you can’t do something just the risks of doing so. I don't normally put warnings on my posts but most of my writing is fantasy, this isn't. I'm going to talk about any number of painful deaths and heaps more ways of becoming disabled.

In this primer "you" means the one doing the hitting, "victim" is the one being hit, and "tool" is the thing you're hitting with which could be a fist, foot, hammer, bat, anything. I'm writing it this way because its fun for me.

This primer also assumes you know the different types of impacts and how they affect the body, if you don't go look at my other writings.

Finally i take no responsibility for anything you do. All this information is what i could put together from medical journals and car crash reports if I've got anything wrong (and you can prove it) please let me know.

Enjoy

Head. With hits to the head, the two major concerns are concussions and neck injuries. A concussion occurs when a person’s brain impacts with the inside of their skull, this happens because the brain is suspended in fluid so if the skull stops or starts moving suddenly the brain will move out of sync with the skull. Symptoms of concussions can include headaches, confusion, lack of coordination, memory loss, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, ringing in the ears, sleepiness, and excessive fatigue. If your victim lost consciousness for any length of time and is having trouble speaking or understanding your words, you need to get them to the ER. There is no cure for a concussion but the best treatment is pain medication and activities that won’t tax the brain to give it time to recover. There are any number of ways to damage a neck, but generally it happens when a person’s neck is moved suddenly and violently or pushed past its limit. Minor injuries should heal by themselves within a few weeks but if unlucky pain and stiffness can last months or even years. For more major injuries, physical therapy or a neck brace might be necessary but only if the pain lasts longer than a few weeks. It’s also possible to hit someone hard enough to break their neck or fracture their skull but that takes a lot of force. All of these injuries can be avoided by supporting your victim’s head and neck by bracing their head against a surface or holding their head with your hand.

Jaw. It takes surprisingly little force to dislocate a jaw, you can do so with a good slap Dislocations are talked about in Note 3 at the bottom of this primer. Heavy bleeding from gums or a tooth that feels loose could indicate a fractured root. This is a fairly minor issue and if you see a dentist quickly they should be able to fix it back in place with no lasting damage. A tooth that has been knocked out completely should survive; get your victim to rinse their mouth out and rinse the tooth off and shove it back into the gap, and then have them see a dentist to make sure it’s properly seated and avoid chewing with it for a while.

Eyes. A fun combination of fragile and complicated. There's no first aid tips I can give you and it'll be real obvious if something is wrong. I will say you don't have to hit someones eye to give them a black eye, it’s bruising around the eye socket that matters. Also check Note 1 about the use of ice when treating injuries.

Nose. It’s more difficult than you think to break a nose. You definitely can with a good punch but you'll have to really commit. A broken nose isn't that serious (I've broken mine twice now) and isn't even ER worthy. If your victim is leaning backwards after breaking their nose the blood will run down the back of their throat potentially making them vomit or very sick. There is a chance a broken nose will heal in a way that restricts breathing in which case your victim may need surgery.

Cheek bone. Below the temple but above the gum line, running from just bellow their ear to their nose. Special mention to this spot because it’s the best place to hit your victim in the head (in my opinion). This piece of bone is very sturdy and not that risky to fracture. Plus, when you hit them here they have to watch it coming.

Neck. The windpipe, jugular, cranial nerves, vagus nerve, carotid arteries, and spine all live here and damage to any of these can cause permanent disability or death. Seek medical attention if your victim has trouble breathing or swallowing, or a lot of pain or swelling. Stingy tools are far less risky here than thuddy tools.

Shoulders. Note 2 on joints. The shoulder blades can either be an ideal impact location or one of the most risky depending on how it’s sitting. If the shoulder blade is jutting out away from the rest of the back, it’s very easy to damage If it’s laying flat against the back, it’s protected by a thick layer of fat and muscle.

Biceps. Top 4 impact location. The main concern is damaging the elbow and shoulder joints, if hitting in a way that will pull on those joints. Much like with the head, bracing the impact area against a surface will minimize the risk. Repeated hits to this area can temporarily disable the arm, which is fun.

Forearm. As above, the main risk is damaging the adjoining joints. There are also several important blood vessels and nerves running through this area and not a lot of fat an muscle to protect them.

Hands. Very little fat or muscle, mostly tendons, nerves, and cartilage. See Note 2 on joints. Special note to the palm, which hurts like hell but is relatively safe because of the extra muscle and fat in that area, great for punishment. Once again, stingy tools are much less risky than thuddy tools.

Breasts/ biceps. Top 4 impact locations. Thick layers of fat, muscle, and bone protect anything vital.

Sternum. That is the bone running down the center of a person’s chest that connects to their ribs. Not in itself very fragile but the cartilage that connects it to the ribs is easily damaged and will take a long time to heal. A fractured sternum will likely cause shortness of breath and pain when taking deep breaths. There's not much to be done about these injuries just rest and avoiding strenuous activity.

Spine. The single most risky impact location. Any damage to the spine risks permanent paralysis of everything below that point. As ever, stingy tools present less risk than thuddy tools.

Rib cage. Designed to protect a person’s most vital organs, the rib cage is very strong. Fractured ribs will cause pain breathing but aren't particularly serious. Snapped ribs can pierce organs If this happens, it'll be immediately obvious and medical intervention is required to prevent painful death. Special note to the 'floating' ribs at the bottom of a persons rib cage which don't connect to the sternum and are therefore much less resilient. Second special note to the spot right above a persons heart. A significantly hard impact at exactly the wrong moment in their cardiac cycle can stop their heart. They will loose consciousness and you will need to give them CPR until they can be defibrillated. This is ridiculously unlikely but better to mention just in case.

Abdomen. If you feel around your victim’s belly, you can figure out the line where their abdominal muscles sit. If you have them tense these muscles, you can hit them fairly hard with relatively little risk because the muscles plus the fat in that area create a thick layer of protection. (Pro tip: "Stay tense or this will might kill you" is not only true but hot and terrifying). Outside of that area or if they don't tense, there's real risk of bruising or even rupturing their intestines, which carries a 50-70% survival rate depending on how quickly you can get them to the ER. Symptoms to look out for are bloating, diarrhea, loss of appetite, and fatigue. Special note to the kidneys, which sit next to the backbone just below the rib cage and are very easily bruised. The primary symptom to look for is blood when peeing. As always, stingy tools carry less risk than thuddy tools.

Gluteus maximus. That's their butt. Hit it as hard as your victim will let you. Enough has been said about this region; I don't feel the need to recover that ground. Note 4 on bruises.

Genitals. I'm not going to get into CBT, that's a separate kink. But the vagina is very durable as it’s pretty much just flesh and fat on the outside Minimal risk, go to town.

Thigh. Top 4 impact location. Outer thigh will hurt more and bruise more. As with the head and arms, the primary risk is damaging the adjoining joints. Note 4 on bruises because this is the primary place for DVT.

Calf. As above. Shins are also a great location for punishment because they hurt like hell.

Feet. Very similar to hands. The soles of a person’s foot are intended to impact with the ground frequently and with some force, so they can take a fair bit of punishment.

Note 1. Ice. It is no longer suggested injury procedure to use ice to reduce swelling. Yes, it is effective at reducing swelling but we now understand swelling is an important part of the healing process and although ice might make it feel and look better in the short term, it actually increases the amount of time the injury will take to heal. You want the blood to be able to flow to the injury to take away dead cells and bring nutrients and energy.

Note 2. Joints. Neck, spine, shoulders, elbows, wrists, fingers, hips, knees, ankles, and toes. The reason these are almost always labeled "red" or "no go" on impact play body maps is because these are choke points for blood vessels and nerves; they are made of fragile tendons and cartilage, and they have very little padding for protection. They're also important for movement day to day and very difficult to heal properly. If a joint is damaged, you can buy braces for every joint from most pharmacies.

Note 3. Dislocations. If you're lucky, a partial dislocation will relocate by itself if you move the joint around as you normally would, not forcing it or trying to manipulate it with your hand, just moving it with its own muscles. If it does naturally relocate but you still have pain a few weeks later seek a medical professional. If you're unlucky or if it’s a total dislocation, you will have to see a medical professional. DO NOT TRY TO FORCE IT BACK INTO PLACE!

Note 4. Bruises. Normally, bruises are nothing to worry about but there are situations where a deep bruise can be a health concern. If the bruise continues to get worse after a week, there could be a hematoma under the skin, which is like a blood clot, and might need to be removed. The other possible complication is Deep Vein Thrombosis, which is a blood clot and can be lethal, if not treated quickly. With DVT, the symptoms are tenderness, warmth, and a "pulling sensation" which are pretty normal impact play symptoms. But if you're doing impact play at the level that could cause DVT, then you and your victim should know their healing process intimately, so if something feels off or isn't healing right, get them to a medical professional; better safe than dead.

[lilianne-tarot]

⋆.˚PICK A CARD: "What Are They Really Feeling About You" ⋆.˚

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I. II. III.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　˚　.　　　　　 . ✦

Hey there loves! Welcome to another PAC reading on my blog page, I hope you all enjoy it! Comment down what you felt about the reading and if it resonated with you and please show some love, Your support means everything to me!<3

How to Pick Your Pile: Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and look at the images below. Which one pulls you in the most? Trust your gut! Once you choose the image, The number below your chosen image is your pile. If more than one catches your eye, that just means there’s extra tea for you, go ahead and read both!

If you enjoyed this reading, get your own personalized in-depth paid reading here!😊🦋

For personalized 18+ readings, click here!

My KO-FI link: HERE! 🫶🏻

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⋆✮ Pile I

"I have so many feelings for you, but I don’t know how to handle it."

These cards are laid out in front of me, and whew, the energy is giving emotional confusion and major mixed signals. Like, imagine someone typing out a long-ass paragraph to send to you, deleting it, and then hitting you with a dry "hey" instead. That’s the vibe we’re working with here. typical situationship these days. There’s this undeniable connection between you two, the kind which makes y'all go like, "what are we?" . But something between you is incomplete or not quite where it should be. Maybe y’all had an almost-relationship, or things just never fully clicked into place the way they were supposed to. OR, they’re still caught up in past issues, cycles, or even other people who are messing with their perception of this connection. And then, BOOM, the Queen of Swords Reversed, This person sees you as intelligent, sharp, and perceptive, but also a bit intimidating. They might feel like if they were to step to you, they’d have to bring their absolute A-game because you don’t fall for weak, half-hearted energy. (And tbh, they’re lowkey scared of getting called out if they’re moving weird). They could also think you’re a bit distant or hard to read at times, like, do you actually like them back, or are you just naturally that cool? (they’re dying to know).

Okay, but what’s holding them back? The Five of Cups is coming in here , showing that this person is stuck in regret, sadness, or some kind of emotional baggage that’s stopping them from moving forward with you. If this is an ex or a situationship, they definitely still think about you, but they’re too caught up in the "what went wrong" instead of focusing on "what could go right." I just feel like this spread is mainly for people who are stuck in a situationship or are pondering over an ex. So yeah, they feel something deep and nostalgic for you, whether you’ve known each other forever or not. They might replay certain memories, old conversations, or even compare new people they meet to you, because you set a standard, babe. There’s something pure about how they feel toward you, even if their emotions are a hot mess express. They might fantasize about simpler times between you two, or even wonder if there’s a way to rekindle or repair things if you’ve grown apart. They feel drawn to you in a way they can’t ignore. You’re on their mind more than they’ll ever admit (probably even to themselves).

At this point, it’s their move. Will they break free from their past and step toward you? Or will they keep living in the land of "what ifs" and "almost"

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˙⋆✮ Pile II

"They are literally perfect, I’m obsessed."

Like, this person thinks about you way more than they probably should. Your person doesn’t just think of you in passing, nah, you stick in their brain like a catchy song they can’t get rid of. There’s something fated about this connection in their mind (Wheel of Fortune is SCREAMING destiny vibes, and especially when I RARELY get this card in my spreads so you just KNOW). Whether they admit it or not, they feel like you’re significant in some way. They don’t know why, they don’t know how, but the thought of you feels important, like a turning point in their life, even if nothing has happened between you two yet. But here’s where it gets messy (and a little spicy). The Judgement card is staring me in the face like 👁️👄👁️, and I’m telling you right now, your person sees you as someone who forces them to self-reflect. You’re triggering something deep in them. This person sees you as someone who’s put together, maybe even out of their league. You give off an "I know who I am, and I don’t settle for less" vibe, even if you don’t feel that way inside, that’s what they’re thinking atleast. They might assume you have high standards that makes them second-guess how they should act around you. Like, are they worthy???

And the funny part? They think you have your life figured out. But seriously, you project this energy of wisdom, tradition, and stability, and it’s making them think twice before approaching. "What if they don’t take me seriously?" is a VERY real fear they have. They don’t want to come at you wrong and fumble before they even get a chance. This person is struggling internally when it comes to you. They admire you, they think you’re lowkey untouchable, and they are absolutely not treating this as just a casual crush or just lightly. Whether they realize it or not, And let me be real with you, they’re not going to approach unless the universe forces them to. They’re waiting for some kind of cosmic push (Wheel of Fortune) to make things happen because right now, they’re paralyzed by their own overthinking. THEY ARE TIED UP IN KNOTS ABOUT THIS.

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˙⋆✮ Pile III

"Who are they?? Why do they live in my head??"

Ohhh, Pile 3’s situation is mystery a whole lot of overthinking on their person’s end. If this is someone who only sees you from a distance, like a coworker, a classmate, or someone , then whew, the way they have created an entire personality for you in their head is actually insane.

To them, you are literally the hardest puzzle they've ever encountered, and it's driving them nuts. Like, you know how in movies, there’s always that one person who walks into a room and suddenly the main character is hyper-aware of their presence? That’s you to them. Even if you don’t talk much, or at all, your energy is too loud to ignore, atleastto them, maybe because most of the time they are already hyper aware of you. They probably observe you a lot but feel like they never get the full picture. It’s giving “they seem so cool but I have no idea what’s actually going on in their head”. You might be quiet, reserved, or just really selective with who you engage with, and that makes you feel even more untouchable to them. If you are talkative or social, you still confuse them because you might act differently around different people. One second you’re laughing with someone, the next you’re in your own world? It’s throwing them off. 😂 But here’s the thing: this isn’t just curiosity. No, bestie, this is a full-on obsession.....uhm maybe even some stalker energy idk. They don’t just want to know more about you, they NEED to. Their brain is playing detective without their permission. The Magician here is interesting because it means they think you’re in control, while they feel completely out of control around you. It’s giving “they probably don’t even know I exist, but I can’t stop thinking about them” energy. One thing I can say, they’ve already mentally placed you in a soft-focus fantasy movie of their future.(just marry yall😭😭.......okay scratch that, don’t marry) They don’t just see you as someone cool, they see you as someone who could be the perfect person for them. even if they’ve never spoken to you, they already imagine what kind of relationship they’d have with you. You are the “dream person” in their head, but here’s the problem: they have no clue who you actually are. It’s like they’ve created a whole storyline about you without fact-checking it first 😭. Basically, their mental image of you is 50% real, 50% a fanfiction they wrote in their head.

Bestie, listen… If you’ve ever caught them staring at you like they’re trying to solve a crime, that’s exactly what they’re doing. They’re dying to know who you actually are because right now, you exist as a walking mystery and a romanticized daydream in their head.

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Thank you so much for reading all the way through! I hope my reading resonated with you and that you had a lovely time going through it. If you enjoyed it, please like and reblog ,it really means a lot! Let me know which pile you chose; I absolutely love hearing your thoughts and feedback on my readings! ♡

Note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not predict the future in a fixed way. this is a general reading so take what resonates!

[chxrrywines]

₊˚⊹♡ letting you | sam winchester x reader

a/n - this might be the fastest i’ve ever written a fic??? it’s pure filth so that might be why but LMAO, i love love love the idea of soft dom sam sm he melts my brain, hopefully this is good!! getting back into writing after taking a break from being sick bc my brain wouldn’t work. special thanks to my friend who helped me brainstorm the delicious idea ilysm !! <3

cws - fem!reader, 1.6k, nsfw 18+, softdom!sam, sub!reader, cockwarming, masturbation, praise, kinda unedited

other fics can be found on my masterlist

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

The only thing she could hear was Sam’s soft breathing, and the soft tap tap tap of his laptop keys behind her.

If she paid close enough attention, she could hear the way his shirt rustled when he moved his arms, the soft fluttering of book pages being turned, but her focus wasn’t really attainable, it was slipping through her fingers with each excruciating moment that she was sat there.

Sam shifted in his seat out of a pure intention to get comfortable, and his cock nudged deeper inside of her wet heat, dragged a soft gasp from her lips, which just earned her a soft “shh, honey” against the shell of her ear.

It had been her fault that she was in that position in the first place. She’d been a little too needy with Sam when he was trying to research, and on her third attempt at trying to initiate a — much needed, mind you — make out, he’d grabbed her hips and tugged her into his lap facing him. His voice had been a little stern as he told her to pull his cock out, and the tone of his voice alone had her cunt clenching around nothing as she quickly did as she’d been asked. She knew that voice, she’d had it in her ear most nights, whispered against her throat, against the plush of her thighs. It meant he was in control.

Sam had sat back from the library's table for enough time for her to pull his cock out and pull aside her panties, sank down onto him with a soft moan, but before she could move he grabbed her hips tightly, kept her still.

“Don’t move,” he’d dipped his head down and kissed her throat, pulse fluttering beneath his lips. “Stay there while I finish up and I’ll take care of you after, hm?”

If she was feeling a bit more bratty she would’ve whined or complained or just moved anyways, but his voice in her ear and his hands on her hips had her head spinning, so she just nodded and tucked her head against his throat as he leaned over her to continue what he was doing, completely focused, as if he wasn’t buried deep inside her pussy at that moment.

That had been twenty minutes ago.

It was becoming torturous.

Sam was unfairly skilled at keeping composed. He was also unfairly skilled at winding her up. Those two went hand in hand, it seemed, because each second that passed just worked her up more and more. All she could focus on was the warmth of his body pressed to hers, his cock nestled deep inside of her, the lack of stimulation. When she’d came out to the library with her attempt at bothering him, she’d craved a genuine release, not this.

Her hips shifted slightly and she squeezed her eyes shut, huffed out a soft “Sammy” against his throat when that slight movement was enough for her pussy to throb around him.

“Stay still.” He murmured without as much of a look in her direction. She glanced up at him and his eyes were locked forwards, pupils shifting left to right as he read whatever was displayed on his laptop screen. Tap tap tap, more pages turned, more reading, rinse, repeat. He was killing her.

Barely a minute had passed before she made another soft sound against the warm skin of his throat, lips brushing his neck, “Baby please-”

“My hands are busy, sweetheart,” his voice was so nonchalant it drove her up the wall. “I don’t know what you want me to do.”

Her eyes squeezed shut as she huffed against his throat again. “Can you just take a break?”

“No,” he shook his head. “No, I’m almost done, you’ll just have to wait,” he tsked, a hand briefly pet her hair, the touch so light it was like he was purposely depriving her of any stimulation. “If you’re that needy, you have two hands of your own, baby. Sort yourself out until I’m finished with this.”

She released a shuddered breath against his throat, squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. It wasn’t the answer she’d wanted.

“Hey,” one of his hands came up to the side of her neck and he pressed his thumb against her jaw, tilted her head back until he could meet her eyes. “I told you I’d sort you out once I finished, didn’t I?”

She nodded, bit the inside of her cheek.

“So isn’t it nice of me that I’m letting you get yourself off in the meantime?”

Letting you. Her cunt throbbed again.

“Yeah.” She whispered.

Sam leaned down and kissed her, just a soft little peck, and somehow it just riled her up more. “I’ll be done soon. Go ahead and sort yourself out for me, sweetheart.”

He let go of her jaw and moved his arms to the table again, continued tapping at his laptop, and her eyes scrunched closed again as she tipped forward and rested her forehead against his throat. But she was so needy that she didn’t think twice about following his instructions. One hand stayed tucked at his waist, fingers curled into the soft material of his flannel, and her other reached between them and tucked under the material of her shirt, fingering at the waistband of her panties until she slipped beneath those too, and she was so fucking wet that she was undoubtedly making a mess of his jeans from just sitting there.

Her fingers dipped down, pressed against her clit, and she shuddered as the stimulation made her clench around his cock deliciously. She pressed her fingers forwards again, started to shamelessly rub herself, exhaled soft little moans and sighs against his throat.

Before she could do anything else Sam’s voice was in her ear again, “Quiet, sweetheart. You’re meant to be letting me work, don’t make me tell you to stop.”

Her jaw clenched as she exhaled shakily, eyes squeezed shut, and she huffed a breath against his throat as she took a moment to compose herself. Now that she’d started touching herself, it’d just be a torture to stop, so she just nodded against his throat with the intent to keep herself quiet.

It took a moment for her to settle on a pace. She was a bit too needy with it, her hand squished between their bodies, knuckles pressed to his hard muscles each time she shifted her hand, but eventually she settled into a pace that had her eyes rolled back and squeezed shut, the fingers of her other hand curled tightly into the material of his flannel.

She circled her clit with the pads of her fingers again and again, but it was the feeling inside of her every time her cunt clenched around his cock that made it hard for her to keep quiet. She was half tempted to bite down on his collar to shut herself up, but Sam seemed to be letting her get away with the slight gasps and whimpers that she couldn’t stop herself letting up.

It took an embarrassingly short time for her to get close — her forehead was pressed to his throat, hot breaths puffed out against his skin, trying not to shift her hips as she rubbed at her clit with a need that thrummed within her veins. Her jaw clenched and she held her breath, eyes squeezed shut tighter as she worked herself closer.

“Breathe,” Sam’s breath tickled her ear as he spoke softly. She had a tendency to hold her breath when she came sometimes if she was especially worked up — she didn’t even know Sam was paying attention. She took a shuddery breath, and he murmured a soft, “that’s it.”

It only took a few more circles on her clit before she came and she grit her teeth, huffed out a sharp breath through her nose as the feeling washed over her. Her cunt pulsed in pleasure, waves that kept her rubbing at her clit until it felt too much, and when she finally stopped she was breathing sharply against his neck. Her hand was a bit cramped, fingers wet, heartbeat drumming, but the release felt so nice after she’d been so worked up.

“Good girl,” Sam crooned, and she could’ve cum again at the tone of his voice. “Good girl. Did that help?”

She nodded against his throat, relaxed into his front.

“Yeah?” He asked. “Are you gonna keep still until I’m finished now?”

She nodded again.

“Baby,” she felt his hand smooth up her back until his fingers delicately tangled in her hair, only enough to pull her head back to look at him. “I wanna hear you say it.”

She blinked a few times up at him. He was so devastatingly handsome, it wasn’t fair. “I’ll keep still,” she mumbled, face feeling far too hot. “Promise.”

“Oh, you promise?” She didn’t miss the teasing edge to his words, the smirk that tugged at the corners of his mouth.

She nodded again. “Yeah, Sammy.”

“Good girl,” he praised once more, and was nice enough to give her a proper kiss that time. It still wasn’t what she craved — she didn’t feel his tongue in her mouth, he didn’t kiss her until she went dizzy — but it was nicer and kinder than a little peck. “Ten minutes and I’m all yours.”

She settled back into his chest as he went back to work, comfy to just rest against him in her post-orgasm euphoria, happy to wait the ten minutes until he was finished. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d fucked her on the library table that week.

[pearlzier]

now playing . . . cowboy by tyler the creator 𓈒⠀ ✧

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝅄⠀⠀ㅤׂ ⠀warnings / smut, cheating, random ass boyfriend called josh, reader is wearing a skirt, oral (m!receiving), p in v, public kinda (they're outside in the garden), unprotected sex (idk no mattlings running around yetzies)

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝅄⠀⠀ㅤׂ ⠀word count / lots of words like over 2k probably ??

⠀⠀⠀⠀𝅄⠀⠀ㅤׂ ⠀author's note / i got so carried away this was supposed 2 be a drabble LMFAOOO have fun w this :3

"THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND. YOU STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER, ALRIGHT?" is what he was told, the moment he met you.

and he listened. he really tried to. until he couldn't anymore. until he had you pinned against the wall of his friend's house, creaming on his dick. it sounds insane, it probably was, but matt was a man pushed to his last straw with a very pretty girl at the end of it. you can't blame him for that, even if it does sound cruel. to be honest, his initial resilience and resistance of temptation should've been a dead giveaway to the way he would fall into the claws of desire so hard.

matt didn't think much when he heard that josh had gotten a girlfriend. he was happy for his friend, glad that he'd found someone. he didn't expect you to be drop dead fucking gorgeous. to be so pretty. he had to do a double take when he first saw you, absolutely stunned. josh wasn't that bad looking, no, but.. to pull a girl like you was a massive feat for anyone. you're like, so fitting for josh. but at the same time, that makes you fitting for matt. of course you are.

he's fully aware of how he stared at you the first time he saw you, which caused josh to say—"that's my girlfriend. you stay the fuck away from her, alright?"—bringing him out from the daze of lewd thoughts and inappropriate positions his brain had already put you in. was he a shit friend? probably.

this resulted in matt having a bit of a staring problem as you'd called it. it wasn't creepy or anything, it was actually appreciated and polite. albeit very much loaded. it was like you knew he was head over heels for you and decided to dangle your affection infront of him in some form of torture. it was not fair how he had to hide his boner around you. absolutely torture.

he couldn't hang out with josh like he used to simply because of your presence. and you fucking knew it too, you tease. it was your favourite thing to wear the tiniest clothes around him or simply bat your lashes and giggle in the most adorable way. matt was pretty sure you wanted him dead, just from how amazing you were. once again, at a party held at josh's place, he's day dreaming a little taking you in. his blue eyes flicker over you, he swallows thickly, glancing down at the soda he had in his hands. he'd barely drank any of it, if any. too distracted by your presence.

trying to focus his attention on something else, he glances away from you, focusing his attention on some other girls dancing together. they want his attention, you just.. capture his attention without even trying. until you actually did try to get his attention, flashing him that soft little smile when your eyes met his. he has to practically force his jaw shut after it drops at the sight of you. he's so whipped for his friend's girlfriend.

matt curses himself for the way he glances away like a little kid when you meet his gaze, and he knows you most definitely saw it. he swallows hard, trying to focus on somerhing but you once more. it becomes impossible when he feels a presence which he knows is most definitely you beside him. his mouth goes dry.

"hi, matt," you say, all coy, like you don't know the exact effect you have on him. matt glances up at you, trying not to seem as awkward as he feels. his lashes flutter as he tries ro come up with a response that feels chill, not.. insane. "hey," he settles on—it's simple, casual. doesn't betray the thoughts in his head.

the smile on your glossy lips only grows at that. it's like you can see directly through him into his soul. your eyes rake over him for a moment, as you consider what to say, "you havin' fun?" you watch him, waiting for a response even if you know exactly how he's feeling. matt goes quiet, brain whirling once more in an attempt to seem normal. "sure," he starts, "just.. y'know.." great job, matt. he seems so normal, right? great.

the laugh you let out at his response has his gut tightening along with his jeans, and he swears he can feel his heart in his throat for a moment. matt runs his fingers through his hair, playing with his rings in a nervous movement. "y'know?" your words are soft, curious, as if coaxing him to continue. he really doesn't want to, but he does, anyway.

"uh," matt scratches the back of his neck, an awkward chuckle slipping past his lips. you don't think its awkward at all, no, you think it's adorable. endearing. he's adorable. "a little bored, i guess, but.. never really been much of a party guy," his blue eyes meet yours again and the intensity, the tension, makes him glance away once more. you laugh again, making his cheeks flush.

"bored? here? m'surprised, everyone's like.. having the time of their lives," you're not wrong—everyone is having the time of their lives.

"i could think of plenty of other things that would constitute as the time of my life, this isn't one of 'em," matt snarks playfully, finding himself comfortable with you almost instantly. you have this vibe, this comfortable aura that makes people relax and chill out. trustworthy, in a way. "i get it, don't worry. besides the dancing and people and.. things, it's not that entertaining." he can agree with that, and he nods, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he leans back against the wall.

this allows him a moment to take you in. he shouldn't have done that. that once over only made his thoughts about you worse. horrifically worse, oh god. matt glanced at the ceiling as if the faint stain on it was interesting. it wasn't. he'd much rather leave stains with you on some sheets. even he cringed at his own thoughts. "come outside with me," you offer after a moment. everything about you oozes innocent but matt can't help but think you're anything but. he thinks about josh and swallows, mumbling, "i don't think josh would like that very much."

"he's not here right now, is he?" you remember very vividly josh had gone out to grab some drinks for the party with another friend of his, having headed to the convenience store near his house. which left you with free reign of the party, and the chance to do whatever you fucking pleased. and you wanted to do matt. the obvious answer.

matt's a tiny bit stunned by your words and he blinks slowly, processing for a minute before his brain catches up and he nods quickly, pushing off of the wall with an eagerness he's embarassed at. "you're right," he starts, "yeah, okay," he nods towards the door leading outside to the back garden with the hot tub and such. he's a tiny bit nervous you're playing with him, to go back and tell josh what he's doing, however you seem just as into this as he is, and he nods once more.

he takes the lead, glancing back frequently to check you're still there. you are, thankfully, and he gains a tiny bit more confidence. "you look nice," he murmurs, quiet, so if you didn't hear him he wouldn't have to repeat himself. you did hear him, however, and you feel flush at that. that soft smile only grows more, "thank you. can say the same," matt laughs softly, glancing away bashfully. he holds the door for you, delighting in the way your soft body brushes against his. he wants to feel more. wants to feel you under him, above him, around him.

it's cool outside, an easy breeze that contrasts to the warm heat of bodies within the house. you visibly relax which makes him relax too. he's quiet, you're quiet, the two of you making your way to a quiet part of the garden. it's sort of an alley, the bit between the back gate and the house itself. he likes how private it is. "so," matt starts, "so," you respond in return. it's not an awkward silence, but gentle. he laughs softly, he doesn't even know why. you're just so pretty it makes him giddy. and he says it. "you look so pretty."

"you think i look pretty?" you know you look pretty. when don't you?

"uh-huh," he nods, gently. "real pretty," he swallows hard. you overwhelm him. "sometimes i think—" he shouldn't go down that rabbit hole, especially not infront of you.

but he'd already gone too far, you'd heard him. "you think what?" you're always so attentive and inquisitive, he hates it. not really, he adores it, but sometimes he wishes you'd let things slide more often. matt curses under his breath, blue eyes soft.

"sometimes i think about if you were mine," matt's voice is quiet, almost scared as to how you'll react. he thinks you'll flip out at him, slap him, call him insane. but you don't, a soft looking appearing in your eyes. you look at matt with this gentle curiosity that coaxes him into saying more; "because you're.. you're just so gorgeous, and sweet, and funny, and you smile at me when i'm having the shittest days ever and i just fucking wish you weren't with josh because god, i'd make you feel so good, baby," he doesn't think twice about calling you baby and you don't think twice about how good you feel when he says that.

"now you're just begging me to kiss you," your tone is playfully soft, and matt looks a tiny bit weary, like he's scared you're joking. his plush lips are parted, soft puffs of air slipping past, "kiss me?" he asks gently, blue eyes innocent in how surprised he is. you want to kiss him?

you decide to answer without words, gently grasping at his hoodie and drawing him in for a gentle kiss. your lips meet, a soft groan slipping past matt's lips almost instantly. his hands hover around your waist, as he's scared to touch you, like he doesn't deserve to, so you gently mumble against him, "you can touch me," just to make it crystal clear you're okay with this. his lips are soft, gentle, his mouth tasting faintly like the soda he'd been drinking and a faint vanilla lip balm that made his lips so plush. your lips are equally soft, the glitter of your lip-gloss transferring to his lips and leaving a glittery sheen on them.

matt lets out a soft whine when your lips have to come off eachother, to simply get air. fuck air, he thinks to himself, but he doesn't say it outloud. "josh," he says gently, his brain immediately thinking to the worst scenario. you, however, don't look fussed. "what about him?" your relaxed demeanour and absolutely no worry in your gait makes his cheeks flush more, but also a confidence grow within him. he quickly grasps at your hips and brings you into him, thumbs stroking over the fabric of your skirt.

"nothing," he says quietly, practically breathing you in. the smell of your perfume made him dizzy. he wanted to suffocate in it. god, if you heard his thoughts.. "no—nothing about him," he slides his hands over your sides, and he's trying to resist the urge to grope at your body. "nothing, ma," he wants to kiss you again. "can i kiss you again?"

"mhm," you hum gently, preening into his touch with your eyes lifting up to his. your smile only grows, a giggle slipping past your lips once more. "i suppose so." matt eagerly slips his hand down to your ass, grasping gently to tug you impossibly closer before he presses his lips to yours again. his tongue brushes yours, and you eagerly reciprocate it again. as he grasps at your ass, your hands slide to his arms and hold yourself against him.

"god, you're so pretty," he murmurs against your lips, whimpering the words out gently. you slide your hands up and down his arms, making a shiver flutter down his spine a little. "s'not fair, how come he gets you?" his voice is whiny, like he really can't believe that you're his, even if he wants you so bad.

you raise your brows, "you're getting me right now." your words are a soft reminder, that he shouldn't think about his bestfriend, your boyfriend at this very moment. matt practically melts the moment you drop to your knees infront of him. he glances around frantically for a second as if josh is gonna pop out of a bush or something. this feels like a dream, like it's not real, but your fingers tugging on the zip of his jeans was very much real.

"are you not uncomfortable?" of course that's what he's worried about. your comfort. it's adorable how his blue eyes search yours to find any hesitation. he doesn't find any.

"m'fine, don't worry yourself 'bout it, matt," he's dreamed of this before. woken up with his boxers sticky at the thought of you on your knees for him. he swallows thickly, "okay," he breathes out, sounding a little on edge.

matt whines under his breath when you tug at the zip, his chest rising and falling in gentle breaths whilst he watched you. the cold air hits his thighs when you manage to tug down the denim previously covering him, and he lets out a nervous little laugh. "oh my god," he mumbles, he'd never thought he'd have you like this. your fingers brush his legs, making him practically buckle at the knees. "you don't have to, i mean—" he'd fully planned on being the one to make you feel good, but from how eagerly you're tugging at his boxers, he's pretty sure he'll get to wait.

"i want to, though," there's such certainty in your voice. it's attractive.

he swallows thickly when he feels you tug down his boxers, a quiet yelp slips past his lips. his tip leaks precum, clearly having been doing so for a while now considering the stain on the front of his boxers. matt would feel embarassed if it wasn't for how badly he wants to fuck your throat till you cry, pretty tears on your cheeks. he's so hard, it almost hurts. "you look so good," he mumbles quietly, "oh, god."

your eyes flutter over him, taking in the sight of his cock appraisingly. "says you," matt blushes instantly at your words, "me? pretty? that's just because my dick's out, isn't it?"

"that too," you shrug, running your fingers up over his thigh. the touch is light, and you realise you like touching him a lot. the faint shiver in his leg, the way he watches you so attentively at every tiny movement—you feel wanted. so, so wanted. more than josh ever made you feel. he instinctively pumps his hand on his cock, a pitiful whine slipping past him as his head tilts back a little. he hasn't even been touched yet, and he's yours. he thumbs his slit for a moment, coaxing more precum to drip. smearing it over the swollen head, he gently guides it to your mouth, watching as the tip pushed against your plush lips. "is this okay? do you—is this.." matt doesn't know why he's so nervous. he'd been with plenty of girls before so this isn't anything different, but it is. you're amazing.

"you're worried," you start, "but i wanna make you feel good," words mumbled against his tip, you leave little kisses as you speak—"let me," you say softly, watching as he strokes his cock once more. matt's hesitant for another moment, scared of making you uncomfortable, before he decides to let go of those fears and just go for it. his hand slides to the back of your head, cradling as he tugs your mouth onto him, watching your plush lips stretch to accommodate his girth. the sight is gorgeous, a gasp escaping him as he watches you.

"holy shit," he's gentle with you, wanting to worship the land you walk on in this very moment. your pretty eyes on his as you gag around him a little, grasping at his thighs to steady yourself. your lips leave a little gloss imprint on him, a quiet giggle coming from him at that. but he's also giddy about how warm your mouth feels around him, and the urge to just start thrusting his hips is palpable. "you feel so.." his hips move in gentle, shallow thrusts, trying not to go too far. you moan around him, a pretty sound which makes him whimper again.

your lashes fluttering as you swirl your tongue around the tip, making a mess of him as your drool runs in globs down the sides of his cock. he likes the way you struggle a little, but his head's fuzzy at how good you make him feel. "so, so good, ah, ah—" matt makes the prettiest noises, eyes squeezing shut the moment he starts rutting his hips against you, bullying his dick further down your throat. "fuck, fuck, shit.. like that.." he mumbles under his breath, hands drawing you closer by the back of your head.

it doesn't help the way you start to bob your head, his thighs tensing beneath your touch as he whines, "so.. fuck.. makin' me feel so good, baby, uh-huh," you have to breathe through your nose to take him as deep as you want, which is deeper than matt had anticipated. not that he was complaining. you felt so good, your mouth so warm and wet around him. more precum leaks from his tip at your motions, and you swallow for a moment slowly, the salty taste making you moan around him.

that makes his thighs tense once more, a quiet whimper bubbling from his throat before it drops into a guttural moan, his hips stuttering as he grunted out, "gonna cum, shit.. mmh, gonna—gonna cum," thick, white ropes of cum spurt as he lets go, warming your throat and painting its surface. he holds you close still, even as you swallow down his load, his chest rising and falling in quick breaths.

he looks so pretty like this—all blissed out and weightless from how good you'd just made him feel. his lashes flutter, blue eyes now on yours as his eyes open, and he stammers out quickly, "i'm so sorry, i didn't ask, i just assumed that.. that—"

"it's okay, hey," you liked everything he was doing. it felt good. you enjoyed swallowing whatever he gave you, it wasn't like you weren't enjoying yourself. the awkward way in which he handled his feelings towards you made your heart warm, a soft, nervous smile playing on his plush, pink lips now. "yeah?" he asks gently, swallowing hard. he's got an idea, brewing in his head. "okay. uhm, here, uh.."

he glances down at himself, embarassed at how hard he still is despite the fact he'd just came down your throat. but he's got a plan to fix that, as his hands slip down to help you back up. "here.." he mumbles, a little clumsy in how he handles you but it's still way more.. comfortable than it is with josh. even when you're outside against a brick wall. "is this okay?" he asks, running a ring-clad hand over the curve of your thigh for a moment before he presses you against the wall, letting your back come against it.

"this is okay," even a simple, is this okay, has you soaked. he's so considerate.

"it is?" he asks, gently, fingers brushing the hem of your underwear, tugging slowly with a curl of his index and middle.

"you're worrying," you murmur, expression soft.

"just wanna treat you right," matt says gently, tugging down your underwear finally. you flinch a little at the cold air hitting your wet cunt, his blue eyes following the string of your arousal clinging to your panties from your hole. he swallows thickly at the sight, sliding your underwear into his pocket for safe keeping. it'd be a miracle if you got those back after. "make you feel as good as you made me, baby," he shifts you against the wall.

you're pretty sure you're dripping down your thighs, and matt can't help a bashful smile at the sight. "up," he says gently, and you oblige, lifting your legs to hook around his waist so he holds you up with his body. it's an interesting position, but this is an interesting predicament, you suppose. "thank you," he says gently, unable to stop himself. he feels.. just.. amazing.

"what are you thankin' me for?" you giggle, head tilting. you're trying not to focus on how good you feel as the head of his cock glides over your folds, parting them gently enough to rub against your clit. he hasn't even been inside you yet and you're pretty sure you could make a mess right there and then.

"lettin' me have you," matt says it like it's obvious, scoffing a little at the way you look at him so curiously. his hands slide down to your thighs, gripping and tugging you closer to hold you up and give himself leverage to slide into you. he pumps his hand over himself once or twice, smacking the head against your cunt before he slowly starts pushing into your tight hole. a whine escapes both of you when he does so, the tight stretch making both you and matt shiver. "oh god, oh.."

if he could stay buried in you forever, he would. if you could have him in you forever, you would. he stretches you so good, a little muffled whimper coming from you as you'd nuzzled into his shoulder to keep yourself steady. "matt," you whine, "so good," he revels in your praise, a fluttery feeling in his stomach at how you seem to adore him. matt's careful, easing himself into you till he bottoms out, fitting snug within your sensitive pussy.

his head tilts back with a groan, content to just stay there like that, but he can feel you grow a tad bit impatient with a little rock of your hips. "i got you," he says with a little nod, slowly easing back before he rocks his hips forward again. he does this a couple more times till he finds an easy rhythm, the slickness of your pussy allowing him to just slip in and out. "is this o—"

"matt, it's fucking okay," he can't help but laugh at the way you snap st him, your words shaky as you watch the way his cock disappears into your tight hole, the wet sounds making your stomach feel all fluttery just like his. the rhythmic sound of skin slapping against skin makes you feel all the more connected to matt, your eyes searching his. "it's okay, more than—shit, mmh.." you just make the perfect sounds as he gradually finds himself pounding into you, hands holding you up against him.

his movements are a little sloppy and clumsy, a testament to how badly he wants you, wants you to feel good, wants to feel the way you clench around him when you cream on him. "like that, like that, shit, fuck me like that," your whimpers only make him thrust harder, his eyes locked on the bounce of your tits with everytime his hips meet yours. every inch of you is intoxicating for him.

"you feel like heaven, baby, god," he grunts out, feeling the way your tight walls squeeze him, practically trapping him there. he keeps it up, free hand lifting to palm at your chest, gently squeezing. he can't help himself, and you can't help but cry out louder. the music of the party is loud enough to mask your sounds anyway, you're sure of it. "this pussy, mmh, could die right here, poundin' your tight cunt, baby."

"uh-huh? yeah?" you coax, feeling your head spin as he hits every spot. his tip hammers into that gummy spot inside of you that makes you cry out with every hard thrust of his hips, and he groans under his breath as you start to clench around him again. "shit, matt, m'gonna cum, i can't, gonna—"

"yeah? yeah? me too, me too, baby, c'mon," he squeezes at your chest once more before his hand slides back down to your thighs, his thrusts only becoming more forceful, making your legs tighten around his waist and inner walls squeeze him even more. "me too, cum for me, cum with me, i got you, that's it, that's my girl," his hips stutter once more, especially when you cream on his cock like that, his blue eye falling instantly to the way your release oozes down him. it soon mixes with his own, a lewd, wet sound squelching out as he pulls out from you a moment after.

his chest rises and falls in heavy breaths, as does yours, recovering from how intense your orgasms were. even then, he feels like he could go again. a million times. maybe after a second, you'd definitely go again too. he's about to go to speak when he hears a call pull up outside, most definitely josh, and your eyes widen, "matt—"

"my place," he tells you, no negotiation in his tone. he wasn't done with you. he doesn't think he'll ever be done with you.

๋࣭ ⭑ taglist / @mattslolita , @st7rnioioss , @flairdean , @mattsluv , @bepositiveforachange , @poetatorturadaa , @onlynextdoor , @sturncakez , @luverboychris , @sirenedeslily , @evrithingbagel , @sl4ttformattsturniolo , @mattsturnihoe , @aphroditepjo , @mazzystar111 , @flouvela , @stonermattsgf , @str4wberryk1ss3s

[supernovafics]

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 4.1k words

summary: in which you and steve are not together, but sometimes— most of the time— you two find your way to each other. it all feels surprisingly okay until the guilt starts to sink in 

warnings: explicit language, cheating (both reader and steve are cheating on their partners), implied smut, a bit of drunk!steve, a lot of angst

author’s note: i love when i get an idea and it consumes my brain so much that i simply cannot do anything except write it lol enjoy this thing that may or may not eventually get a part two<3 idk<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

You were starting to feel bad about it. Not bad enough to stop it, but bad nonetheless. 

In the end, when this inevitably blew up, a lot of people would be affected, but when you were alone with Steve you found it too hard to force yourself to care about all of that. When you two were alone in your car in the middle of the night or alone in his bedroom because his parents weren’t home, you never cared about just how terrible all of this was.  

That was why it wasn’t until you were walking down the hallway hand in hand with your boyfriend and you spotted Steve and Nancy lingering by what you could only assume was her locker and she was smiling so happily up at him, that you finally felt a little bad. 

You looked away quickly and pretended as if you hadn’t seen them in the first place; pushing his face and especially hers far out of your mind. Instead, you focused on Jamie and listened as he talked about a history test on Friday that he didn’t feel prepared for and how his parents would go ballistic if he didn’t pass. You promised to help him study later tonight— like you always did, from the moment you two met and became friends in seventh grade— and he smiled, leaning down to peck your lips as he called you the best. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

You really didn’t like thinking about how everything started with Steve. In your head, you were okay with simplifying it to one day you weren’t cheating on your boyfriend with Steve Harrington and the next day you were. Somehow that thought process made it easier; it made what you and Steve were doing feel more mindless than it actually was. 

But, just because you didn’t like thinking about the beginning didn’t change how it happened. 

It was a New Year’s Eve party at Sam Richards' house. 

You’d shown up alone because Jamie was out of town with family and had been since Christmas. Initially, you were supposed to go with them, but then at the last second, your parents decided to be festive and wanted you to be home for Christmas and the entirety of the holiday break. Weirdly enough, though, it hadn’t been as unbearable as you thought it would be.

However, you were on your own for New Year’s because your dad had a work party that was “adults only.” You honestly didn’t mind though because the thought of being stuck with a bunch of random middle-aged people sounded horrible. So, you instead decided to get stuck with a bunch of people your age, which maybe was just a different kind of bad. 

You heard about the party through a friend of a friend who didn’t even show up. The party was rowdy and boring, which were two words that probably didn’t make sense in the same sentence, but in this instance they surprisingly did.

Eventually, you ended up sitting on the rusty old swing set in the backyard, away from the music and drunk teens. Your sneaker-covered feet pushed into the grass, making you swing a little. You didn’t want to do too much because, with the amount of squeaking the swing was making, it felt as if it was on its last few days of life. 

Because of that squeaking and the fact that you were looking at the ground, you didn’t hear or see Steve walk up to you. 

You noticed him when he was only a few feet away, and you were more confused than startled when he sat down in the open swing next to you. 

“Two minutes to midnight.”

Those were not the first words Steve Harrington had ever said to you. Instead, those had been, “So what do we have to do?” after you two got paired up on a project for English last year. It was two weeks worth of meetups in the library that led to you two getting a B+ and never speaking again. 

Until now, apparently. 

“Fun,” You said because what else were you supposed to say? This entire moment didn’t really make a lot of sense to you.

You looked at Steve sitting next to you. The swing continued to squeak as he started lightly rocking back and forth. The second he met your gaze, you looked away. 

“Where's your boyfriend? Jessie something, right?”

“Jamie,” You corrected him. “He's out of town with family for the holidays. Where's your girlfriend? Mary something?”

You knew it was Nancy. Everyone knew it was Nancy. They were the talk of the school and a cliche case— smart girl falling for the popular guy, also known as the plot to one too many romcoms. 

For some reason, though, you didn’t want Steve to know that you inadvertently paid attention to him just like everyone else at your school. 

“Nancy,” He corrected you. “And she’s also at some family thing.”

You only nodded in response and things became quiet.  

“Y’know, apparently it’s bad luck to not kiss someone when the clock strikes twelve,” Steve said, filling the air of silence.

You ignored his random tidbit, which you weren’t sure was real or not. “Why did you come out here?”

His shoulders upturned in a quick shrug. “You looked bored out here. And I was bored in there.”

You could faintly hear the countdown start in the living room, everyone starting from sixty. 

The next words that should have left your lips should’ve been, “I have a boyfriend. I can't kiss you.” But, instead, you didn’t protest when Steve silently took hold of the chain of your swing and pulled it toward him so that you two were closer. 

You could’ve changed your mind and pushed him away, you should’ve changed your mind and pushed him away, but you decided not to think about it too much. When you heard the countdown get to one and everyone followed up by shouting, “Happy New Year!”, you were inwardly saying fuck it and kissing Steve Harrington in Sam Richards’ backyard. 

It was meant to be innocent, a simple peck just so you both could avoid this “bad luck” that Steve talked about, and it was completely innocent and chaste at first. Until your hand impulsively found Steve's cheek and you deepened the kiss and he didn’t stop you. 

He tasted like cigarettes and champagne, a surprisingly comforting combo, and his free hand moved to your waist, slipping underneath your coat and knit sweater. The feeling of his cold hand against your skin made you inadvertently shiver; you’d forgotten just how cold it was outside. 

“Sorry,” He muttered against your lips. 

It was the first word spoken in the last minute and it somehow managed to wake your mind up and made your thoughts finally start catching up to what was happening in this moment. You quickly realized that anyone could potentially see you two out here and even though the party inside sounded just as loud and lively as it had earlier, it was still a possibility that you two could get caught. 

You pulled back from the kiss and met Steve’s gaze. “We can’t do this here.”

It was the ‘here’ part of your sentence that fully piqued Steve’s interest. 

He stood up from the swing and reached his hand out for you to grab. “Come on.”

You slipped your hand in his and let him lead you out of the backyard and away from the house completely. It took you way too long to realize that he was taking you to his car that was parked down the street. He pulled the backseat door open and let you get inside first. 

You forced yourself not to think about anything aside from how good Steve’s mouth felt on yours and how you liked feeling his cold hands against your skin, traveling from your hips to your waist to your back and pulling you closer to him. 

Seconds blended into minutes and you suddenly weren’t sure how long you’d been in his backseat and how long you had kept nearly bumping your head against the roof every time you slightly shifted in his lap.    

It didn’t make sense to you how okay this all felt. You hadn’t spoken more than a handful of words to Steve since last year, and yet you felt entirely comfortable with him right here in this moment.

It didn’t make sense that night and it also didn’t make sense the one after that when you saw him again and you two did a lot more than just make out in the backseat of his car. 

However, what did feel certain was the fact that everything suddenly happening between you two wasn’t meant to be anything more. You knew that you and Steve wouldn’t make sense in the daytime or in the real world. He made sense with Nancy and you made sense with Jamie. That was just the way things worked and both of you unspokenly agreed on that. 

It was only in private when you two surprisingly did make sense, and in some ways, it felt like a no-brainer. Of course, you’d see Steve most nights and during fleeting moments at school. Of course, you’d kiss or do more with him for what felt like hours in his house or your own car. Of course, you’d feel comfortable in his bed with his arms wrapped around you as you two ended up talking about nothing for hours. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

You found the note in your locker halfway through third period. You asked your History teacher if you could go to the bathroom and then you headed to your locker instead of the bathrooms that were in the opposite direction because you just knew that something would be in it. 

Meet me. Bathroom. – Steve

The first time he sent a note that basically resembled that one, you laughed because how the hell were you supposed to know what bathroom he meant or when? 

And that was exactly what you told him that night when you two were in your car and he playfully pouted at you, asking why he didn’t get to see you at school. And then he let out a soft “Oh” with his own laugh when he realized that you were right and he didn’t tell you where to go or give you a time. 

From there on out, the bathroom by the gym became your and Steve's meeting place. It was usually always empty because most people opted for using the bathrooms in the gym locker rooms since they were bigger.  

After the first few times you met him there, there was really no reason for Steve to leave notes for you because the place and time was always the same, but you still kind of liked that he did. 

When you walked in at the start of sixth period instead of going to study hall, Steve was already leaning against the sink. 

He smiled when he saw you and you couldn’t help but think that that was the same smile that he’d been giving Nancy earlier; it was the same one he probably always gave her, his girlfriend. 

There was no greeting; no softly spoken “Hi’s” or anything. Instead, Steve was pulling you close and slotting his lips against yours and then shifting you two around so that you were pressed against the sink.

You savored it just for a second before you pulled away. 

“Wait,” You abruptly started and put your hands on his chest to put some distance between you two. “I, um, I think we should stop this.”

Apparently, you were feeling more than just a little bad about everything. 

Steve’s hands fell from your hips and it was easy to read the surprised look on his face, which definitely made sense because it did seem as if your words were coming entirely out of left field. 

“Oh,” He said. The surprised look fell from his face after the quickest moment. “Oh, okay. Yeah, that’s fine.”

His nonchalance toward the situation made it all feel a thousand times easier. Maybe he didn’t really care about all of this, and that should’ve made you feel okay and good and perfectly fine, but if you were being entirely honest with yourself it didn’t make you feel any of that. 

“Okay, cool,” You responded with a forced smile instead of taking your words back or doing anything else about them. “Good to know we’re on the same page.”

He gave you a quick nod. “Yeah.” 

For a second, it was hard to do what you needed to do next, but then you were finally moving away from Steve. No sort of “Goodbye” fell from your lips because it weirdly felt too hard to say the word right then.

Keep walking. Keep walking. Keep walking. 

The two words played on repeat in your head as you forced yourself to leave the bathroom. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

Steve was throwing rocks at your window. You didn’t even have to look to know it was him. There was no one else it could be. 

Jamie knocked and walked through your front door like a normal person, and then he’d talk to your parents for the obligatory amount of time that was considered polite (even after being friends for so long and then dating for that past year he was still kinda scared of your dad), and then he’d greet you. 

He would not throw rocks at your window. 

The smallest part of you was glad that Steve was at least doing this now instead of ten minutes earlier when Jamie was still here studying because that would’ve ruined everything for you. However, Steve being here now still pissed you off nonetheless. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” You whisper-yelled when you were standing in front of him in your front yard. You adjusted the hoodie that you haphazardly slipped on in your quick race down the stairs. “My parents are home.”

If he really wanted to, he could’ve called you out on how bad of an excuse that was because there had been many prior moments where your parents' presence hadn’t been that concerning to you. It wasn’t like they checked on you periodically throughout the night, so if you left in the middle of the night, all you had to do was make sure you were back by morning. 

Steve didn’t remind you of any of that, though. Instead, he said, “I just— I just wanted to tell you something.”

There was something about the way he was talking and his stance right then that made you give him a look. “Are you drunk?”

He answered with the most unconvincing “No” ever and you had to fight the urge to roll your eyes. 

“How did you get here?”

“Walked,” he answered and you nodded, relieved that he didn’t drive, and then you felt kind of annoyed for caring. You really didn’t want to care about him anymore. 

“So… you, uh, wanted to tell me something?” You asked him. The faster the conversation started, the faster it could be over and he could leave your front yard. 

“Oh, yeah,” He nodded. “I just— I wish you hadn’t ended things with us today.” 

His words confused you because he had seemed perfectly fine about it all earlier. Your eyebrows furrowed. “But, we agreed—“

“I know,” He interrupted you. “I know, and I get it, I guess. But, I just don’t want you to think that it’s easy for me to let you and what we had go. It isn't easy. At all. I didn’t realize how much I really like you and how much I love what we had until you decided to end it.”

You wondered if he was only admitting that because he was drunk; maybe he wouldn’t have said any of that to you otherwise. But, either way, at least he had the guts to say what you’d been too scared to. You hadn’t even really admitted it to yourself, how much you liked and cared about him. As much as you wanted to pretend that what you two had been doing was mindless and didn’t really mean anything, it was actually the complete opposite; of course, it was.

You still had to look away from him in this moment, though, because you weren’t drunk and it felt too hard to admit the truth like he was. “Steve…”

“What changed?” He asked after a moment of what felt like unbearable silence. “Yesterday, we were fine, right?”

You refused to answer his questions because you really didn’t want to rehash everything right then; how your suddenly guilty brain made you impulsively end things with him. You honestly wanted to just forget about everything. 

You shook your head as you sighed. “Let me drive you home, Steve.”

Your words were soft, probably too soft. You wanted to be mean to him, you wanted to push him away; you knew that it would make things easier. But, you couldn’t. 

“Can we walk?”

“Sure, but if you stumble and fall I'm not picking you up.”

He laughed a little as he nodded. “Understandable.” 

You shouldn’t be joking with him, you shouldn’t even be talking to him, but here you were. 

Things were quiet for a few moments, and you figured that maybe this ten-minute walk wouldn’t be too bad. Maybe it would stay silent and you’d say an actual final goodbye to him once you were at his front door and then you two would never talk again; essentially a sort of repeat of what happened last year in English class.

“So, can I know what happened?” Steve asked, breaking the quiet and ruining what you had hoped would happen for the next ten minutes. Apparently, he wasn’t going to let this go until you either told him the truth about what was going on in your head or lied about it all. 

You let out a long breath; you couldn’t find it in you to lie to him in this moment. “I finally realized that we’re shitty people for doing this.” Steve didn’t say anything at first so you took that as your cue to keep going. “You love Nancy and I love Jamie and everything that we’ve been doing for the past month isn’t fair to them and it’s so fucked up. We’re selfish and terrible people, and I kinda hate that this ever started in the first place.”

Finally saying it all out loud made it feel a thousand times more real and certain to you. At least, most of it felt that way. You knew just how shitty all of this was, but you weren’t sure if you’d ever completely regret any of it happening. 

“You don’t love him, though,” Steve said. “At least that’s what you told me that one night.”

You were now learning that Steve Harrington was a good listener, and even with his current inebriation, his memory was still surprisingly good too. 

“That doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change how horrible I feel about all of this.”

You were talking, but all you could think about was the conversation that Steve was referring to. A post-sex conversation that you two had a few weeks ago as you and him were half-naked in the backseat of your car that was parked at Lovers Lake. 

It doesn’t feel right anymore, and I don’t know, maybe it never fully did. I just want to go back to how things were before. But, it feels impossible to tell him any of that. He really loves me, and even though I don't feel the same way anymore, I don’t want to hurt him or break his heart. He's still my best friend. I'll always love him like that. 

It was hard to remember what Steve said in response to that or if he even said anything at all. All you could remember was that the second the words left your mouth, you wanted to forget about it. You’d been way too honest, saying things that you had never admitted out loud before, but somehow you were admitting them to Steve.  

“You’re right,” He said to you now. “We are bad people for doing this.”

Things became quiet then because what else was there really to say? You both were in agreement. 

You two continued walking the short distance to his house. When he started going off course a bit too much, stepping on and off of people’s yards instead of staying on the sidewalk, you grabbed his hand to keep him close and steady. 

You didn’t drop it once you two were at his front door or even when he asked you to come inside. Against your better judgment, you silently let him lead you into his house. You toed off your shoes at the door like you always did and then followed him up the stairs. You told yourself that you were just making sure he made it into bed alright.

“You okay?” You asked once you two were in his room. 

You were just wondering if he was feeling dizzy or needed to throw up, but Steve took your question in an entirely different way. 

He shook his head. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.”

“Okay, I’m gonna miss you.”

“I…” You let out a soft sigh. “I don’t know what you want me to say to that.”

You wished that he would kick you out, or even yell at you. If he was mean to you, it’d make it easier to leave his house, to leave him. Deep down you knew that he would never do that, though.

“Why can’t we just…” He trailed off for a second, and you were certain that he forgot where he was going with his words, but then he continued. “Do this?”

“Do what?” You asked, even though you had a feeling what he meant but you hoped you were wrong. 

“Be together for real,” He said, and in an entirely different world it would’ve made you happy hearing that, but in this world his statement only made things feel so much more complicated. “We won’t be bad people anymore if we just stop lying.”

For the briefest second, you imagined saying yes and agreeing with him, and for that quick second, the thought actually sounded really nice. 

“Or we won’t be bad people anymore if we just stop everything,” You told him instead of being honest and admitting that you liked him a lot more than you had ever led on, and that even though you had wanted this to mean nothing, you had also really enjoyed the nights where you two talked for hours upon hours about anything. 

“Okay,” He said, no longer debating your words and simply accepting them for what they were.

You nodded and then the simple word fell from your lips too. “Okay.”

That was definitely your cue to leave, but you didn’t say any kind of “goodbye” and neither did Steve. It was obvious that things were different, but they didn’t entirely feel that way just yet, so that made you stay. 

“Do you want me to leave?” You asked softly after a few moments of just watching him move about his bedroom, pulling off the jacket he was wearing and hanging it on the back of his door. 

Steve shook his head, meeting your eyes again. “No, I’ll always want you to stay.”

You couldn’t help but give him a small smile and a simple nod as a way to say “Okay.” You knew that this entire interaction was sending nothing but mixed signals, but your mind was a mess of contradictions and only felt confused, and you just really didn’t want to think too much anymore. 

It was warm in his room, so you pulled off your hoodie, leaving you in just your t-shirt and shorts, and you hung it up where his jacket was on his door. Silently, you joined him at his bed, settling yourself and laying down in the spot that you’d been in more times than you could count at this point.  

“I’m sorry,” You whispered in the darkness after a while. “That things can’t be different.” 

Steve moved closer to you, slipping an arm around your waist. “They could be.”

“I know,” You finally admitted, leaning into his touch. “But, it’s just too hard.”

He didn’t ask you to elaborate on what you meant, probably because he understood or he was just tired of this constant back and forth. 

You told yourself that you’d only stay for five minutes. And when five minutes turned to ten, you told yourself that you at least wouldn’t fall asleep. 

But, of course, you did. You felt too comfortable and at ease in Steve’s arms not to.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。

part two!

let me know ur thoughts<333

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Hi, I was wondering if you could do an NRC Students (Except Ortho) x Reader, Where Reader and they are having a Romantic moment/Date, but it gets interrupted by Someone or Something?

Yeah of course!! Thank you for the req and for your patience, I know it's been FIVEEVER. My concrete sequential brain can't omit characters though, so Ortho is on here in a platonic like. babysitting/sibling outing way :D

I hope you enjoy <3

MC! GN! Reader - SOME ARE FLIRTY OKAY I'M FLIRTY IN THEORY AND NEED TO LET IT OUT

Ruining The Moment

**Every single one is different/written as it's own drabble. Apologies if some cut off abruptly, I struggle with knowing where to end things.

Heartslaybul

Riddle:

You and Riddle were studying together on one of the upper floors of the library. While quiet remarks had been made back and forth, more than anything, you both just enjoyed each other's company.

Neither of you had really noticed just how much time had passed since class had been out. Now, with the library being bathed in the warmth of the sunset, Riddle was about ready to pack up to ensure he made it back to his dorm in time for tea time. However, as he looked up from his work, he found himself pausing to study your visage.

The sunlight pouring in from the windows behind you made you look like you were glowing; ethereal. His eyes lingered on you, studying every inch of your expression, focused on the task at hand, which happened to be your history homework. The slight furrow of your brow, the sharpness in your eyes, determined to finish your work, the slight pout of your lips...

He found himself feeling shy all of a sudden, without much of an explanation. He wanted to compliment you - at least...to tell you how lovely you looked, his hand reaching gingerly across the table to try and hold your free one, but just as you noticed, he startled as a very distinctive voice cut through the other hushed chatter around the library.

"Eheee~ goldfishie!! And lil shrimpy, aww I get a two for one deal!! Whatchya guys doin'?"

Floyd came over, picking up one of Riddle's book and flicking through it, feigning interest, before looking bored and setting it aside.

"Blegh, have you guys seriously been here all d- eh?? Goldfishie, you're all red~ you're not mad though, are ya? Usually it takes more than that t'push your buttons."

Riddle seemed to be at a loss for words, opening his mouth as if to say something, then snapping it shut, just making Floyd giggle as he sat on the table and leaned backwards to talk to you.

"Ahhhha I see what's goin' on. You should ask goldfishie out, shrimpy, he ain't gonna do it himself otherwise."

Riddle somehow managed to flush even more, his cheeks nearly matching his face in colour.

"Yes I would! I just- I- If you hadn't so RUDELY interrupted our-"

Riddle's rambling was cut short by a soft peck on his cheek, causing him to sputter and look at you in disbelief. The rather smug look on your face combined with Floyd's rambunctious laughter was enough to render the redhead completely speechless, contemplating now, how the future would play out.

Trey:

He would never admit it, but these late night rendezvous in the kitchen were some of his favourite moments. He was always concerned about your journey from Ramshackle to Heartslaybul, but you always stayed on the phone with him while he prepped everything and you walked over.

Being the voice of reason in the dorm, as well as Riddle's handler often left him drained, but your presence and an empty, quiet kitchen were more than enough to make him feel better. There was also a bit of a thrill to it, as nobody knew the two of you were dating yet. He loved knowing that the two of you would be left to your own devices...that he would have your full, undivided attention.

You let him know you were getting to the front door, so he made sure to go unlock it for you, before heading back to the kitchen.

You walked in on him measuring a tablespoon of vinegar into a cup of milk.

"Won't that curdle it?"

Trey hummed in amusement, pulling you in gently against him.

"Yeah, that's the point. Buttermilk in red velvet cake is a must."

He leaned down to kiss you softly. Admittedly, it likely lasted longer than it felt, but he pulled away rather quickly, pulling you to his chest and turning you away from the sudden flash of light from the hallway. Hushed giggles and whispers were heard afterwards, rather panicked sounding as Trey's glare penetrated through the darkness.

He was about to pull out his pen to stop the footsteps that were clearly booking it down the hallway, but you gently lowered his hand. Though embarrassed, it was nothing worth expending magic on.

"People were gonna find out one way or another..."

Trey sighed softly, his face softening as he turned back towards you.

"True, I just wish it could have waited a little longer."

You smiled a bit mischievously.

"Well they're gone now, and it's not like anything we do at this point will change what they do with the photos. Want to continue where we left off?~"

Cater:

"Don't let me go."

"I'm not going to let you go."

"Don't let me go."

Cater laughed softly. "I couldn't let you go if I tried, you've got a vice grip on me right now."

He walked beside you slowly, letting you try and get used to the feeling of being on his skateboard, your forearms locked together to help you keep your balance, but you were still wearing a helmet as an added safety measure.

"Do you want to try giving yourself a little push? I'll still-"

"No, no thank you, this is still fine."

He couldn't help but chuckle again, finding you rather cute. He enjoyed being the person you were relying on for safety right now, and your focused face and determination to not fall were just too adorable to ignore! He tried to lean in to kiss your cheek, but you weren't expecting it, so you leaned away, tilting you backwards on the skateboard. Cater tripped over the skateboard as you tumbled backwards, but at the last moment, he managed to pull you on top of him and took the brunt of the fall instead, grunting a bit before laughing softly.

"Sevens, I'm sorry-"

"Are you okay??" You cut off his apology, more concerned about the fact he not only fell on the pavement, but that he had taken your weight along with it.

"Hm? Oh of course I am, Cay-Cay's taken MUCH rougher falls in a far less prepared manner. You can't get into skateboarding if you don't become an expert in how to fall properly." He hummed, rather satisfied with himself that you hadn't gotten hurt, sitting up and helping you sit up in the process.

You gave him a small, faux pout.

"Well, I'm afraid the only falling I'm an expert in, is head over heels for you."

You couldn't help but grin and wink as the ginger's face flushed a bit, a bashful smile a mile wide being hidden behind his hand.

Deuce:

"WOOOOOOOOOOOO DEUCE!!!!! GO DEUCE!! N-R-C, N-R-C!!!!!"

He could hear you cheering him on from the stands as he crossed the finish line, coming in first place. Pure elation coursed through him; not only had his training paid off and he had beaten RSA's competitors, but he had done it in front of you.

As soon as he got the go-ahead from coach Vargas, he was jogging off to come meet you at the bottom of the bleachers, a little out of sight of all the hubbub. He was absolutely beaming as he approached you. You had a small hand towel in one hand, and his water in the other. Despite this, and the fact Deuce had just run a race, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around you, laughing.

"I did it!!!"

"You did!! And I got it all on video for your mom too!"

He laughed again softly, hugging you a little tighter before letting you go.

"You're the best, you know that right? I really appreciate you coming here."

He averted his eyes for a moment, before leaning in to try and place a kiss on your cheek.

"Thank you for-"

"Deuce? Coach is looking for- ah-"

Jack averted his eyes awkwardly, his ears flattening, his tail tucking slightly, and rubbed the back of his neck a bit.

"Sorry if I'm interrupting something, but coach said he needs everyone...uh...back, I'll give you two a minute though...sorry-...sorry."

Even though you couldn't see Jack's face, you could hear the embarrassment in his voice as he slinked back from whence he came. Not to mention, Deuce's cheeks were flushed from both being "caught" and from the race.

Deuce stuttered a bit, trying to recover, but failed as you placed a soft kiss on his cheek instead.

"You should get back to your coach before he sends someone a little less considerate than Jack to come find you. You can return the kiss later, okay?"

You giggled softly, gently pushing him to go join his team lest he get into trouble with Vargas.

Ace: (OTL this is a little different sorry)

"You know you could have just done this right the first time and we wouldn't be stuck redoing this assignment for Crewel."

Ace mocked you through facial expression before responding.

"Yeah well if you had shown up at lunch like you were supposed to, we wouldn't be stuck here after school."

You rolled your eyes.

"You knew I had to talk to Crowley at lunch, your poor planning and listening skills are not my issue. I know I told you that the recipe only called for mustard seed and bat fur, not snake tongue. How do you even confuse that??"

You searched his face for answers, but he just turned his face away from you, a light blush on his face as he mumbled something under his breath. You huffed and rolled your eyes.

"Oh come on, I deserve an explanation as to why you did it. There's no way it wasn't on purpose."

He sighed, puffing his cheeks just slightly and restating what he said.

"Maybe I just wanted to spend time with you"

With the cauldron bubbling, it was rather difficult to hear him, so you just shot him a confused look.

"Dude, speak u-"

"I wanted to hang out, okay?! Like. One on one. You're always so busy with your...rEspOnsiBilItiEs and...taking care of everyone and babysitting Grim, I feel bad trying to ask for some of your time when I know it's a precious commodity and this was the only way I could think of doing it, okay?! Just....we'll get this over with and then you can go."

His face stayed flushed, his safety googles too fogged up to see his eyes. You were stunned into silence for a moment, before you tried to reach for his hand. You startled away however, as Crewel's crop hit the edge of the cauldron.

"I take it you two pups are staying on task?"

You gave him a strained smile. "Of course Professor."

Ace silently added the last of the ingredients before using a funnel and ladle to help him add the brew into an Erlynmeyer flask, leaving it open to cool and nodding slightly at it as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"That should be it, it just needs to cool and then put a stopper on it."

Crewel grabbed the neck of the flask, his gloves thick enough to withstand the heat as he swirled the contents gently and studied the fluid. He nodded slightly.

"Get some tape, label it properly, then you'll be dismissed. I'll take care of clean up and storage. Well done."

The professor cracked a smile at the two of you as you nodded to acknowledge him, thanking him before moving to join Ace at the desk. He was writing your names, the date, the class - all as expected for the label, but now that you were a little bit away from the professor, you waited for him to put the tape down before holding his hand gently, speaking quietly.

"Ace, time might be a precious commodity, but you're precious to me too, okay? Grim should still be with Deuce and Epel for a little while. Once we get out of here let's go get slurpees or something, okay?"

It took Ace a moment to buffer, his hand coming up to cover his face in an attempt to hide just how flustered being called 'precious' got him. Near immediately, the crack of Crewel's crop was heard, making both of you startle.

"Gloves do not go near your face Trappola. That's a health hazard."

He gave the two of you a bit of a knowing smile as Ace nodded meekly at the reprimand, still reeling from the fact you had just asked him out.

You slid your gloves off and lifted your safety googles, grinning.

"Sound like a deal?"

Ace smiled shyly but tried to play it off as he followed suite.

"You sound like Azul. Yeah, sure, I GUESS we can go get slurpees."

Savanaclaw

Leona:

"You really think you're hot shit, don't you?"

You couldn't help but laugh softly at the lion beastman. This man really tried to kabedon you and expected you to take him seriously. Yeah right. Amusement was written all over your face, which on one hand was a little unexpected, but on the other, just made it all the more entertaining for him too - he didn't mind a challenge if the prize was you.

"I might think something like that, yeah. You got an issue with that herbivore?" His voice carried a bit of a playful growl to it as he leaned in closer, going so far as to nip at your ear lightly.

His ear flicked slightly in annoyance as he backed up just a tiny bit; a group of panicked first years came barreling down the otherwise empty hallway.

"THERE'S TWO MINUTES BEFORE CREWEL SAID IT'S DUE"

"YEAH NO SHIT, BUT HE WASN'T IN HIS CLASS HE BETTER BE IN HIS OFFICE"

"DUDE YOUR SHOELACES-"

"WATCH OUT!!!"

Leona grumbled something about them being a nuisance, but you watched in horror as the poor boy holding the potion he was so urgently trying to get to Crewel tripped over his friends shoelaces. For everyone save for Leona, you're sure time slowed right down as the potion flew out of the boys hand, the stopper flew out of the bottle, and the potion landing all over Kingscholar.

At the very least, the boy who tripped didn't hit the floor as Leona yanked him up by the back of his shirt, growling.

"What the FUCK did you just spill on me?"

The boy was winded and whiplashed, but his friends seemed to be a mix of distraught and trying not to laugh. Leona growled, tossing the boy to the side gently to let him get on his feet, before nodding and growling at the group of bystanders.

"WHAT WAS IT?"

You had to suppress your own laughter as Leona started to shrink in front of you.

One of the boys laughed nervously.

"It's a shrinking potion, it's really nothing dangerous!! And ah- we really really need the mark for Crewel's class so...we're really sorry but we're gonna have to take you in as proof we completed it!!"

Leona looked bewildered, his ears flattened against his head as he growled, though it sounded rather...cute as he continued to shrink.

"No! You touch me I'll turn you to sand!! You're going to regret this!!"

You couldn't help but join in on the giggle fit in the hallway, the once tall and mighty Leona reduced to mere inches. Despite his protesting, you lifted him by the back of his shirt like it was his scruff, poking his chest gently with your other hand.

"Mm, well, I think it's bad enough they'll be getting a 20% dock on their mark, so we're going to help them out and submit you as proof."

Leona growled, his hands holding your finger tightly as if it could do anything to stop you.

"....I'll make it up to you later, or you can choose to refuse but I'm going to tell Malleus about this."

Even at his minuscule size, you could see the flash of anger in his eyes at the mention of Malleus.

"Don't you dare bring this up to the lizard...fine. We'll....we'll go to Crewel's...but if ANY of you breathe a word of this to ANYONE else, turning you to sand will be a show of MERCY."

Ruggie:

"And the crowd goes wild as Ruggie Bucci scores one more goal for Savanaclaw right before half time! He couldn't have cut it closer if he'd tried!"

The announcer kept rambling about one thing or another, but your eyes were on your boyfriend as he, (rightfully), showboated a little on his broom, working the crowd a bit. His smile was downright adorable as he did so, before he finally made eye contact with you and it got a lot more devious.

He shot up on his broom into direct sunlight, so when you tried to follow him with your eyes, it took a few seconds of blinking before you saw him hanging upside down by his knees on his broom in front of you. His tail had to be wagging a mile a minute as he giggled a bit.

"Shyeeheehee heya sweetheart~ you're a real pretty face to be showin' up around here. Y'got a boyfriend?"

This little shit

He knew he was just out of reach for a kiss, and while amused, you tried to conceal it under a mask of being jokingly mad.

"You know, if you had a significant other, they might not be too impressed with these shenanigans."

Ruggie stuck his tongue out a bit.

"I'm pretty confident I'm cute enough to get out of any sort of trouble with them."

Your expression was pretty telling that that was exactly what the case was. He snickered and came close enough to hold your face, teasing you with the possibility of a kiss before he just shed his jacket and tossed it at you instead. The whistle blew, and Ruggie sat back upright on his broom despite the indignant sound you made.

"I'LL KISS YOU AFTER I WIN IT FOR SAVANACLAW!!"

Jack:

Even though the first time you had attended Magift practice at Savanaclaw you had been...given a concussion by Grim via magift disc to the head, it wasn't enough to keep you away for good.

Jack had invited you, (and reluctantly allowed Grim), to come watch morning practice. (But only if you wanted to.)

Before he had even seen you, his ear flicked and his tail started wagging just from recognizing your footsteps. He had to keep his attention on Leona during the brief as a sign of respect, but as soon as Leona dismissed the debrief, he flashed you a bright smile and waved at your spot on the bleachers.

It was clear to everyone playing, Jack was distracted, as he kept glancing over at you after every play, to the point where Leona had to stop the disc from hitting Jack square in the jaw and call a recess.

Jack didn't seem to realize the break was done because of him. You couldn't hear from where you were, but whatever Leona said to Jack made the freshman's ears flatten and tail tuck a bit. Leona shook his head a bit before gently shoving Jack in your general direction, Ruggie looking rather amused at the entire interaction.

Jack approached you, a little bashful and ashamed as he rubbed the back of his neck, averting his eyes.

"Ah...uhm...for some reason...Leona thinks you being around is a distraction to me...which is NOT true, but he doesn't think it's safe for me to play as long as you're here...which is dumb, because...I wasn't distracted."

You couldn't help but grin a little, using your height on the bleachers to meet him right at eye level. You didn't make him look at you, but you knew he certainly felt like he should.

"Wanna look at me and try saying that again?~"

Jack sputtered a bit, his cheeks feeling warm and feeling as if he needed to take a step back as you just gave him a bigger shit eating smile, stepping down from the bleachers until you were right in front of him, trying to get him to look at you, though he covered his face partially with his hand.

"Okay, that's enough, if you keep teasing him he's not gonna be able to focus for the entire day."

Leona sighed, shaking his head and holding his head with three of his fingers.

"I'm surprised his tail isn't sprained from how fast it's been wagging shyeheehee" Ruggie snickered, and you stepped back, shrugging innocently.

"I wasn't teasing, I was just-"

"That's enough I said. You can go wait by the mirror entrance or go back to Ramshackle. Somebodies puppy crush is a hazard to himself, so if he's still acting a fool he'll come meet you soon."

Octavinelle

Azul: (extremely Flirty MC SORRY LKSJHFLKSDJF)

"It's good isn't it?"

As much as he detested that smug tone, there was no way he could deny just how much he had enjoyed the meal you had prepared, ready to offer a trade.

He sighed.

"You're obviously skilled. I would be willing to pay for the recipe in exchange for giving you free food at the end of the night."

The less food waste recorded the better, and you needed to save every cent you could...not to mention, just giving you the trash food at the end of the night would save him the trouble of hiring you, going through the onboarding process, and having to pay you. Hopefully you would go for the free food, considering it enough compensation for the rest of the time you were here.

What he didn't expect, was for you to laugh, taking a seat on his desk and serving another forkful of food, holding it up to his lips.

"Oh come on now Azul. Do you really think I can't provide for myself? I didn't come here for that type of trade~"

Azul felt his cheeks flush, gently pushing the fork aside as he averted his eyes, his mind deciding to entertain a train of thought that was more emotional than logical...surely you weren't implying what he thought you were.

He chanced a glance back at you, only to be met with that...infuriatingly conniving smile he found aggravatingly stunning.

Your smile only widened. "What's wrong Azul? Not in the market for a kiss or two?~" You leaned closer to him, a pathetic squeak leaving him before you heard a very polite clearing of the throat from near the entrance of Azul's office.

"I'm so very sorry if I'm interrupting something, but your next clients are here Azul. It would be rude to keep them waiting." Jade flashed a polite, but strained smile at you, hoping you would get the message.

You sighed softly, blowing a kiss over your shoulder as you left the room.

"Enjoy the rest of your meal Azul~ You've got my number if you want it again!"

Jade: (sorry this doesn't quite fit the bill but I think it's cute)

"It's not much further. Please, be cautious of where you step, the moss can be quite slippery."

You fought to not pant trying to follow Jade. You had only agreed to this hike because he said it was beginner-friendly, and he had seemed SO excited when he had told you about a mushroom species he was eager to find.

Yet here you were, scaling a small waterfall, watching Jade's every step to try and follow for the sake of not DYING.

Maybe that was a bit dramatic, but the point was, whether it was due to embarrassment, or not wanting to get hurt, you didn't plan on falling in front of Jade.

Jade made it up first, offering you a smile and his hand to help pull you up.

Part of you thought about how he might pull you close once you got up, but that was quickly dashed as he kept you nearly an arms length away. A small pout threatened to form on your lips, but you just smiled and thanked him for his assistance. He nodded slightly, before venturing forward.

"The mushrooms I thought I saw shouldn't be much farther. Do make sure you stay cl-"

A yelp left Jade as he slipped on the very moss he had warned you about. You weren't entirely sure what made you think you could catch him, but your body acted before your mind. It must have been the adrenaline, or maybe a desperate need to impress him, because somehow you managed to catch and support the merman before he hit the ground so you could gently place him down, you staring down at him in confusion, and him looking up at you in absolute bewilderment. You weren't exactly what took over, but before Jade could say anything, you could feel a shit eating grin grow on your face as your heart felt as though it was pounding out of your chest.

"Falling for me hard and fast, huh?"

Jade looked shocked, but amused, picking himself off the ground, before matching your height with a small smile as he spoke softly in your ear.

"Did it take you this long to notice?~"

Floyd:

It was 3am.

It was 3 in the fucking morning when you heard a crack from your front door.

And yet, your sense of self-preservation went completely out of the window as the smell of your favourite meal started to fill Ramshackle. Making sure you didn't wake Grim, you gingerly left your bed, curiousity getting the better of you as you made your way down the stairs.

You took a peek at the front door as you came down, expecting splinters, but from what you could see, it was completely fine. You could hear soft humming and scatting coming from the kitchen, giving you a pretty good idea of who was in there. You couldn't help the smile that played over your lips as you watched Floyd use your kitchen utensils as drumsticks, making sure to stop right before they made contact with anything while he vocalized the drumline instead. You assumed it was an attempt to be quiet, but as soon as he heard the floorboards creak, his attention locked onto you and he pushed his headphones back as he beamed.

"Floyd wh-"

"Shrimpyy!!! I got bored and Azul took my key for the Mostro Lounge so I came here. Gotta few recipes I felt like makin', 'nd I know you ain't comin' by food easily. Figured you could be my taste tester in exchange for me usin' your kitchen. Also I broke the lock on your door cuz I lost the key ya gave me, but I fixed it too so don't get mad about it."

If it were anyone else, you may have gotten a little pissy, maybe asked for more of an explanation, but Floyd's animated nature and excitement as he continued his little drumming session had you smiling fondly. You sat at one of the stools on the far side of the island in comparison to Floyd, watching him work.

"I'm fine by that." You couldn't help but wonder a little bit, what had kept Floyd up this late, but you knew asking would likely only kill his mood, and that was the last thing you wanted. Not just because he was cooking FOR you, but he seemed so happy doing so...it wasn't worth it, he was clearly distracting himself with whatever kept him up with this.

By serving you.

Your mind wandered to a few other times Floyd had looked out for you in his...unique way. You must have zoned out for longer than you thought, as you were brought back to the present as Floyd waved a piece of food in front of you. He looked at you expectantly.

"Well are ya gonna have a taste?"

Your eyes flicked up to his mismatched ones as you offered a mischievous smile.

"Of the food or your lips?"

His eyes widened slightly, before he started giggling, then leaned over the island.

"Well I wouldn't be opposed t'ya tryin' both~"

You were so close to him, your stomach and heart doing flips just as you leaned in and-

"MRAH?! FLOYD???! GET AWAY FROM MY HENCH HUMAN!!"

Possibly the fastest you'd ever witnessed Grim move, he launched himself at Floyd's face, managing to land a kick and effectively move you and Floyd apart.

The food he had offered you plopped unceremoniously onto the counter as Floyd made a spitting noise, and Grim stood protectively, panting, staring Floyd down.

"That's right! Ya better not be scarin' my hench human! You're lucky all you got was a mouthful of fur, I'll light you up next time!!"

After a beat of silence, Floyd started to giggle.

"Ehee~ Seaaaalie, ya sure got some nerve interrupti-"

"Aha, you were hidin' food!! I can't believe you did this, I thought you loved me prefect." Grim's ears folded down, the pout audible in his voice as he scooped up the food that had landed on the counter, oblivious to the now murderous glare Floyd was giving him.

You couldn't help but chuckle, getting up just enough to move closer to Floyd. With the cat distracted and fanboying over the food, it was easier to relinquish Floyd's anger without another interruption. You grabbed his shirt and tugged him to you, grinning.

"I missed out on tasting that bite, but I won't miss out on enjoying you~"

Scarabia

Kalim:

You were just sitting on the front steps of Ramshackle, watching as the sunset painted the sky in beautiful red, orange, pink and purple hues. A slight breeze kept the lingering heat of the day at bay, the only sound you could hear being the slight chirping of birds. Grim was currently, at least supposedly, with Ace and Deuce at Heartslaybul, meaning all three thirds of the braincell were not your responsibility.

God was life always this boring without them around?? Yeah, sure, the peace and quiet could be nice but it felt weird now, where was the drama, the tension, the shenanigans, the tomfoolery?? You rubbed your face with your hands, groaning a bit out loud. Were you seriously so wired to this world's madness now that a moment of peace felt like you were just waiting for something to go wrong?

".....MC?"

Your head shot up, to the voice that was coming from above you.

"Kalim?? What are you doing here?" You smiled, moving to stand up as he descended slightly on his carpet, somewhat dismissing his concerned expression.

"Ah- well um, I was gonna come and ask if you wanted to come to Scarabia tonight for a party! But then I got in trouble with Jamil and he didn't know the party was gonna happen so I didn't want to throw it anymore, but I still wanted to hang out with you! If you're not busy that is. I can take you on a magic carpet ride!"

Oh thank the sevens, someone was going to relieve you of your weird, anxious boredom.

"Scooch over, I'm getting on." There was a lilt of amusement to your voice as you clambered on behind Kalim, wrapping your arms around him, gently resting your cheek against his shoulder. He giggled softly in response, making sure that the two of you rose slowly away from the ground.

"Where'd you wanna go? I can take you over the school, we could go to the field and cheer on the track team, we could even go to the beach! Ah, but if Jamil caught us he might get grumpy, so maybe we should stay on campus."

You hummed softly. "Honestly, I just want company right now. If you just take us to the top of NRC and let us watch the sunset together, that'll be more than enough for me right now."

"I can do that!! Hold on to me, okay??" You nodded a bit against his shoulder, and he took off.

Though he had to speak a bit louder over the rush of wind in your ears, you could hear him perfectly well as he spoke.

"You know, back home, there's a story about this sort of thing, there's even a song! I'll sing it to you if you want!"

"It might be better if you wait until we stop flying-"

"Nonono, part of the whole appeal is singing WHILE flying." He glanced back at you, his puppy dog eyes working their own kind of magic before you silently agreed. His expression lit up immediately as he began to sing.

"I can show you the woAGHOU"

Kalim's hand went to beat on his chest, causing you to yelp as the two of you started to careen forward. You reached forward and tugged up on the magic carpet, narrowly avoiding running into the school and sent the two of you sprawling into the grass instead.

You were glad your hands made contact with the ground first; it made it somewhat easier to help roll Kalim away from eating dirt, and to stop yourself from colliding into his back.

It took a moment for both of you to collect yourselves after you hit the ground, but in less than thirty seconds you were both on your knees, looking at each other. Somehow you managed to ask at the exact same time, "are you okay??!", followed by a beat of silence, and then laughter.

Jamil: (this killed me to write so I'm sorry it's not as good as the other ones/not quite the same)

Jamil had invited you to the Scalding Sands. Rather, Kalim had beat him to the punch, as there was an event going on he wanted you to attend. Jamil had offered to let you come with him a day or two before, seeing as he was supposed to be there early to assist his parents with preparations. As if he needed to entice you further, (and convince Kalim it was a good idea), he offered to give you a tour of the palace.... nobody wanted you to be victim to the expansive maze that the Al-Asim's property was after all.

Well, that was the excuse you both rolled with.

The streets were buzzing with energy, vendors calling out everywhere, sights and smells and sounds of the market filling your senses, but your focus was on something else entirely.

Jamil wasn't a touchy person, but he had been the one to take your hand. His hand held onto yours firmly, leading you with confidence through the bustling streets of Silk City. Despite the errands you were running with him, he insisted on being the one to hold everything. He was also incredibly patient as he stopped anytime you inquired about something.

However, it was him who slowed down upon seeing a small crowd congregate around what you could only assume was some sort of street performer, music playing. He had brushed past most others, but he worked his way through the crowd, seemingly curious to see who was at the center of attention. No sooner had you made it to the front of the crowd that one of the dancers lit up and called out to Jamil, greeting him as if they were old friends.

"Do you know them?"

Jamil had a bit of a mischievous smile on his face. "You could say that."

You quirked your brow as his 'friend(?)' came over, the two of them speaking rapidly in Arabic as they shared a quick hug. Jamil switched back into English, introducing you to his friend.

His friend wore a bit of shit eating smile. "You know Jamil dances, right? Did you ever wonder how he learned?"

"Now hold on, don't go crediting yourself for that, I taught myself."

"If you count flailing like a monkey as dancing, then yes, you did, but as an art? You only got to where you're at because of me."

Jamil tsked and rolled his eyes, waving his friend off, though it was clear it was light hearted.

"You haven't seen me dance in ages."

"Right, I'm sure you've had pleeeenty of time to practice at that fancy college of yours."

You couldn't help but interrupt their bickering by taking everything from Jamil's hands and shoving him forward a bit.

"Just let him show you what he's got."

Both of them looked at you in slight disbelief, but amused.

"MC we really don't have the ti-"

"Are you scared of embarrassing yourself Viper? Come on, if your date says you're as good as you claim you still are, you should have no issue joining us for one song. Just like old times."

His friend could see the gears in both of your heads come to a screeching halt, even if for just a moment. Sure, you had wanted it to be something like that, but hearing it put so bluntly...

You wrapped your arm around Jamil's waist with a shit-eating grin, ignoring the rising heat to your own cheeks.

"My boyfriend plays down his abilities all the time. I hope you're ready to be humbled." Before pushing him into the middle of the ring.

Despite his slightly flustered state, you could have sworn you heard him whisper about how he would get you back for that, a promise you could only hope he would keep.

Pomefiore

Vil:

"I told you to stop moving." His voice, though slightly irritated was just as amused as you struggled to stop laughing.

"But it tickles. Can't I just put it on with my hands?"

An offended gasp left Vil as he tilted your face slightly, brushing on more of the facemask. "No you heathen, we can't just apply it with our hands."

"What if. I washed my hands super super well." His expression left you giggling again as he sighed and pulled the brush away, his faux frustration melting away to a soft smile, shaking his head.

"Sometimes even I struggle to tell when you're just teasing or when you're serious." He chuckled softly, reapplying a bit of product to the brush to continue putting it on your face. You tried not to scrunch your nose, but sevens, he was applying it so lightly it felt weird!

As absorbed as you were in the feeling of the brush, he considered what your reaction might be if he were to kiss you this very moment. He knew that of all the people in the school, he was the only one who had achieved this level of casual intimacy. As good as he was at reading other people's emotions, the nagging anxiety of reading you, specifically, wrong could be the end of the friendship he held so dear. Of course, even if you were to reject him, you were both old enough to be mature about it, but rejection was not something Vil handled well.

He was pulled from his thoughts as he realized just how close he had gotten. Hell, your breathing had hitched at his closeness, eyes wide as your mind raced with possibilities. Vil SO wanted to kiss you in that moment, but his door flung open with a bang, startling the two of you apart. Vil shot the intruder a dirty look.

Epel was out of breath, bent over, pale and wincing as he looked to his housewarden in his P.E uniform, not noticing you there.

"I SHOT ROOK."

Vil's face went from mildly frustrated to near fear for his vice housewarden, until the mans laugh from down the hall echoed into the room.

"Oui. I believe it's nothing major, but you are more versed in healing magic than I am Vil."

Rook came into view, holding an arrow that was firmly lodged into his shoulder, his smile subdued from pain, but genuine.

Vil immediately came over, getting over his initial shock and ire in favour of helping Rook.

You got up from the bed, mostly with the intention of teasing Epel, but he took one glance at you and couldn't help but laugh breathlessly.

"You look like y'got mayo on your face."

"You're about to have disappointment on yours."

"Huh?"

You nodded towards Vil , who evidently didn't feel confident in removing the arrow at the dorm, chiding Rook for coming to him instead of going to the infirmary.

"If that's the talking to Rook's getting, I can only imagine yours."

"....aw shit."

Rook: (insert distressed Sebek emoji I've become far too reliant on on Discord to convey my Feelings because I'm Just Hoping this suffices for the Rook Fans.)

You could hear knocking at the door, light, but insistent. You were slightly annoyed - Grim could open the door by himself...at least he could if he were home. You forgot that you had given him "permission", (AKA, you had begged Vil to let Epel keep him around for a night to give yourself a night to relax), to go to a "sleepover".

So who was knocking at your bedroom door?

You felt a wave of anxiety wash over you, until a soft voice came from beyond the door.

"Mon trickster, I know you are awake. May I come in?"

Your brain needed a moment to buffer before you responded.

"Rook?"

As if there was any question about it, you chided yourself a tiny bit, but Rook took it as an invitation to come in, smiling warmly and waving a bit as he entered the room.

"Bonjour. I was hoping to whisk you away for a mome-"

"What are you doing here??"

Your question was as amused as it was...a little concerned.

"Why didn't you knock at the front door?"

Rook tilted his head a bit, as if he were surprised you were questioning him.

"Ah, I did, but upon not getting a response and knowing you were up, I let myself in. Do not fret, nothing is broken. I wouldn't want to leave you without a reliable lock on your door. However, I do respect your privacy, so I knocked before coming into your bedroom."

He smiled softly as you wondered just how reliable that lock was, before Rook continued.

"As for my presence in our home, I was hoping to treat you to a relaxing night. I know Monsieur Fuzzball is currently occupied."

He fully stepped into the room, and only then did you note the picnic basket in his hand, complete with a blanket on top. The flash of interest didn't go unnoticed by Rook - why would it? He smiled and held it up a little bit.

"These are the leftovers of the food I helped some of the dorm members make, undetected by Vil. I thought we could have a few snacks while we stargaze...then again, I could gaze at the most lovely star I know if we were to stay inside."

A sly smile grew as he winked at you playfully, causing you to look away a little bit.

"So? What do you say my dear?"

Somehow, when you lifted your head again to look at him, he was next to your bed and awaiting your answer with a fond expression.

You couldn't help but push his face away a bit, laughing a little flustered as you got out of bed, causing him to giggle a bit too.

"We can go up. I would love to stargaze with you."

At least, you would have.

Rook had shown you how to get up there, your common sense returning as you remembered just how dilapidated Ramshackle was when you showed up- you hadn't spent nearly as much time fixing up the outside of Ramshackle as you had on the inside. You scooted yourself nervously onto the ledge, just enough to be secure, though Rook reassured you he had done this dozens of times, (he had?), and there was no reason to worry.

Despite his reassurance, he let you stay where you were so he could set up the blanket, walking confidently and lightly across Ramshackle's roof. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you, crickets chirping and the buzz of other insects filling the air, as well as the now familiar creaks and groans of the old house settling beneath you two.

Rook hummed softly, satisfied with the set up and came back to get you, his hand outstretched. He smiled warmly, the moonlight only serving to make his already attractive features more stunning.

"Will you join me for our date, mon tri-"

Just as you reached out for his hand, both of you heard a loud creak. Despite his best efforts, Rook let out a soft, but discernable "Merde" as he fell through Ramshackles roof, laying winded in the attic on his back trying to gather his thoughts.

Obviously concerned, you peeked into the sizeable hole in your roof, peering down at the blond.

"....Are you okay????"

You tried to suppress your laughter, but at his slightly bewildered look, followed by a grin and thumbs up, both of you bubbled into giggles.

He stood up, then reached out towards you.

"I'll catch you. We can continue down here instead my dear."

You smiled and slid your legs over the hole, letting it be future you's problem as you hummed, giving him a cheeky grin.

"Promise? Because I've already fallen for you a hundred times before."

His eyes widened slightly, before smiling a little bit more.

"Then this time, I promise to catch you and never let you fall again, mon amour."

Epel: (this one is different sorry)

You could see him, just barely, peeking through the classroom doors narrow window. The tell tale purple poof of hair was hard to miss.

Evidently, Crewel's class had gotten out a little early, and here you were between Ace and Deuce, listening to Trein drone on about something he already covered. With Passion. You held in a ragged sigh, glancing at the clock on the wall, willing for the seconds to tick by faster.

Finally, the bell rang, Trein's voice being drowned out by the shuffling of bags and students making their way to the door.

In all the hubbub, you had managed to get squished in an Adeuce sandwich as they walked you out the door, Ace's teasing voice lilting in amusement.

"Where ya runnin' off to so fast preeeeefect? Got a special someone waitin' for you?"

Deuce chimed in, though gentler in his tone.

"I saw a certain someone looking at you through the window....mostly 'cus Lucius meowed at him peeking, but-"

You groaned, elbowing them both in the ribs as you saw fit, shaking them off your shoulders. Gods you hated to love them and loved to hate them the little shits. You and Epel were just friends. That was all there was to it. Grumbles and giggles followed behind you from the two of them as you managed to make it out of the classroom.

You were just friends.

....then why did your stomach do a flip when you looked at Epel and he greeted you with that boyish grin of his?

Ignihyde

Idia: (also don't come after me for nobody recognizing Lilia's voice assume he has a voice changer or something idk)

"Brb, my brother needs me for something."

You and Muscle Red responded softly, hearing as "Gloomurai" AKA "Gloomy" AKA Idia Shroud got up from his desk, leaving you and his friend alone.

Now, you only knew it was Idia because you usually would game together in his room, so it wasn't like he didn't know it was you on the other side either, you just had finally had the means to get your own set up and wanted to test it out. Idia and Muscle Red had plans already, but neither of them minded you joining them as you had a couple times before.

But you and Red had never been left together before. And just like IRL, being left with a friends friend left some amount of awkwardness to be had.

You held in a breath of relief as Red spoke up.

"So, how long have you and Gloomy known each other?"

"Just under a year. We go to the same school together."

"Oho? You've met in person then? Forgive me if I'm being invasive, but please do tell, what's he like? We've been online friends for years, I can't help but be a teensy bit curious about the man behind the screen."

You waited a beat. You knew part of the reason that Idia didn't share much about his personal life was because of his reasoning behind not wanting to ever feel too close to the people he connecting with online...yet Red was one of his best friends. And you wouldn't overshare, you could just share your thoughts on him. Besiiiides it wasn't like Idia would hear you gushing about him to his friend, he had left his desk to go help Ortho with something.

"....well...Gloomy is a pretty introverted guy but...as I've gotten to know him better? He can be really sweet, and passionate about the things he loves. He's a little shy and awkward, but I think it's part of his charm. He's also, just. Gorgeous. But don't tell him I said that."

Mischievous laughter came from Red as an audible "Idia dying" sound came through your headphones.

"You know, after being able to know our dear friend, I would have thought you'd have known Gloomurai wears Bluetooth headphones." You felt a little embarrassed as Red chuckled again.

"I told you Gloomy, that they liked you back. You've got no doubt about it now. I'll leave you two lovebirds alone~"

The telltale blip of him disconnecting left the two of you in incredibly awkward silence, until Idia had the guts to ask.

"D...d-do you really think all that?"

Ortho: (platonic, obviously)

"Ah, there you are Prefect, I tried to call and text, I even dropped by Ramshackle to see if you were there, how courteous am I to have sought you out to hand deliver your tasks for the week, aren't I just the best?"

Ortho could all but see the light drain from not only your eyes, but your expression as a whole as Crowley continued to ramble on about his generous nature.

How dare he? This was supposed to be you and him time. You had even less time than Idia to dedicate to hanging out together, because of how hard you worked for the headmage.

Before you really had a chance to acknowledge the headmage, Ortho got in between the two of you, getting in Crowley's face a little bit, floating to ensure the man would see him eye to eye.

"You're interrupting my time with the prefect sir. This is my one and only warning for you to stop."

Crowley took a slight step back, flabbergasted at the boys behaviour before he brushed his outfit down as if he was calming ruffled feathers.

"Well...I really must speak to the prefect Ortho, it's no small matter and you're far too young to underst-"

"I gave you a warning Sir. If it's no small matter, then it's probably your responsibility anyways. Instead of pawning off your less than desirable tasks to the prefect, why don't you think a little harder about what sort of stress that puts them under when they've already dealt with overblots completely unassisted. They've done more than enough for you and the school, and will no longer be at your beck and call, mkay? My brother and I can make sure they get the money they need so they don't have to work for you at all anymore. So now, you know that they won't be doing your dirty work anymore, you and your shadow can go back to your office and be the pathetic mess of a man you are on your own because you've got no friends, no family, and no significant relationships in your life to ease the ache of loneliness. Goodbye."

Without waiting for a response, Ortho grabbed the headmage by the shoulders and turned him away from you, giving him a light push towards the school before returning to your side.

"I know where we can find some really cool rocks, follow me!!"

DIASOMNIA (RIP my braincells, sorry guys)

Malleus: I'm so sorry this man. It's more platonic than anything.

"See that one? It's modeled after Corvus corax, the Common raven. And that gargoyle is similar, though the subtle differences imply it's modeled after Corvus corone, the Carrion crow."

He smiled rather proudly at you, glad to share and show off his knowledge to someone he cared for so deeply.

"What do you think?"

"I think I like the fox grotesque more."

A small 'hm?' left Draconia, a bit of a look of shock on his face until he registered that you were teasing, a playful smile playing over his lips.

"Only you would jest with me so casually Child of Man." He chuckled softly, patting your head. "Thank you for accompanying me today for club hours. I've rather enjoyed having someone else to speak to."

He turned towards you more, gently taking your face in his hand, rubbing your cheek gently with his thumb.

"It's not often I feel as appreciated as I do with you. Thank you, for everything you've do-"

"WAKASAMAAAAA"

Sebek's pathetic bleating drew both of your attention, an almost annoyed sounding huff leaving Malleus as he let go of your face, though stepped closer to you as Silver and Sebek ran up to the both of you.

"Wakasama, we've been looking for you everywhere! We were so worried-"

"We were not..."

"That we may never find you again!!"

"You're so dramatic..." Silver shook his head a bit, sighing.

"Apologies Malleus. Fa- Lilia sent for you. He went to your meeting for you and wants to fill you in."

He wore a slight pout on his lips, but nodded.

"I understand. Thank you Silver." He turned towards you, offering a slight bow. "I'll see you in due time, child of man. Until next time."

Lilia: (a little different, sorry)

"Kehehehe, are you excited prefect?"

You had to refrain from rolling your eyes. Of course of all the people you could have been paired with for home ec. you got Lilia Vanrouge....not that you minded entirely, he was pretty cute.

But being cute didn't get you good grades, and it certainly didn't improve your cooking ability.

You tapped the end of your wooden spoon against his nose.

"I'll be excited if you and I can pull this off successfully. No experimenting with the recipe, okay?"

Lilia sighed dramatically, sticking out his tongue.

"Fine. Ruin my fun. That's fine." He giggled a bit afterwards, scooping the recipe card up just as Crewel placed it down, not giving you so much as a glance at it.

"Alright, you ready? Let me read the ingredients to you."

You gave him a bit of a dirty look, only to be greeted with a wide grin. He took the spoon from your hand, gently booping your nose back.

"Aw come on~ you trust me, don't you? And you already took away my other fun, let me have this!"

Despite your better judgement, you relented.

He kept his promise- everything seemed reasonable as he read it out to you.

"Whisk two cups of AP flour, two and a half teaspoons of baking powder and a pinch of salt in a large bowl."

"Got it."

"Then beat the eggs until aerated, and slowly add the sugar. While you add sugar to the eggs, give me a kiss to give me some sugar too. By the time we're done, the eggs should be triple their size."

"Got- huh"

You turned around, bewildered at what you had heard, to see Lilia's cheeky grin.

"Well prefect, are you gonna follow the recipe card?"

You gave him a playful smile, gently pushing his face away from yours, leaving you both in giggles.

"I'll follow what the card actually says....and if this turns out, maybe I'll give you that kiss."

Silver:

"This is my favourite place to feed the wild rabbits....I know it's not great for them, but they deserve a little treat every once in a while just like everyone else."

Silver's voice was soft as a small group of wild rabbits hopped around the two of you, as if they were pets. The two of you sat under the shade of one of the many apple trees of Night Raven College. Silver used a dagger to expertly cut into the ripe, unbruised apples he had picked out for the rabbits, claiming they deserved better than the fallen fruit.

You watched him, how focused he was, yet how soft he looked under the dappled shadows casted on him from the leaves above. He caught you watching, glancing at you and cracking just the slightest smile as he cut a piece of the apple and handed it to you,

"The grey one is super friendly. You can try feeding it. You'll probably be allowed to pet her too."

You thanked him softly, so as not to startle your furry friends and heeded his advice. You weren't exactly surprised when his advice paid off, though you still let out a soft sound of content as the bunny hopped into your lap, allowing you to pet it gently.

You heard Silver hum softly. "She really likes you. You should come here with me more often."

You couldn't help but smile a little shyly at that. "I would lo-"

"HEY WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING??!!!"

Kalim's piercing voice cut through the quiet, peaceful environment the two of you had, startling all of you, but most of all the rabbits as they scattered and disappeared into the bushes, making Silver sigh softly in disappointment before offering you a small smile.

"We can get them back after. Let me talk to Kalim. I'll be right back." His gaze lingered a moment longer than it should have before he got up. You felt a bit of a funny feeling in your chest as you entertained the thought of him kissing you, trying to erase the thought before he would be able to tell.

Sebek:

"How did you even manage this human?"

Sebek had to bite his tongue, trying to keep his voice down so as to not spook your horse.

Somehow, your boot had slipped all the way through the stirrup, but nothing you or he did got your foot or boot loose enough to pull it back through. He tried to pull your boot off too, but that had just hurt.

You were trying really hard to not laugh. Yes it was inconvenient and uncomfortable, but how you managed to get yourself in this position was as funny to you as it was frustrating to Sebek.

You had asked Riddle for assistance at first, but Silver had called his attention over for something more pressing, so he had appointed Sebek to help you.

Sebek let out a frustrated bellow as yet another attempt was met with no progress, your horse side stepping away from him anxiously. You patted your horse gently and just looked at Sebek apologetically.

"You can just wait til Riddle or Silver can help with magic. It's not like the pain is unbearable."

"No. I was tasked with releasing you from your saddle. I will complete what has been required of me. Excuse me."

He knelt down to undo the saddle from beneath, and you got the hint, trying to move your foot out of the way best you could to let him do so.

He stood back up, and gestured to get you to get your horse to lay down so he could be taller. He offered his arms to you.

"Hold onto me. I'll make sure the saddle comes with you so it doesn't tug on your ankle."

Of course, it was just as your arms wrapped around Sebeks neck that Riddle came back, making a bit of a flustered noise at the sight of the two of you so close to each other.

"What is going on here?!!"

Sebek reeled, ducking his head out from your hands, flushed.

"NOTHING."

You looked rather unamused between the two biggest sticks in the mud you knew and gestured at your foot, still firmly stuck in the stirrups of your saddle.

"I'm still just trying to be granted sweet release."

--------------------------------------- RAHHHHH GOOD GOD I FINALLY FINISHED IT

I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OTL

Hopefully it lives up to expectation <3

----------------------------- Tag list:

@fluffle-writes @my-cursed-brain

@nyx-of-night @sickle-stick @distant-velleity @nemisisnemi @amatsuchan-eiliniel @random-twst-and-oc-stuff

I'm so tired BYE I love you guys

[avelera]

Man, there’s all these little beats in OFMD S2 1-3 where people keep EXPECTING Stede to be upset or horrified about Ed’s actions and then he’s just. Not. In a way that reminded me of how a lot of fanon kept softening Stede into someone who doesn’t swear and is horrified at Ed for setting those ships on fire when imo to my eyes he was horrified for Ed because Ed was still so clearly distressed about it.

- Zheng Yi Sao asks Stede how he’s doing now that he knows Ed did horrible things to his crew and there’s this beat and Stede just pivots to, oh yeah, sometimes Ed is troubled. Like it didn’t occur to him to be upset on the crew’s behalf he’s worried about Ed.

- Izzy keeps trying to spare Stede’s feelings and cover up Ed’s spiral, but Stede clocked what was going on with Ed immediately and wasn’t the least bit intimidated or bothered. The knives brought the room together. Of course Ed’s trying to burn the world down or die trying. Duh. And I genuinely don’t think the STUFF in the Revenge mattered even a fraction to Stede as much as the signs of Ed’s breakdown broke his heart. It’s just STUFF, who cares.

- Lucius had to SPECIFICALLY call out Stede for not being surprised or bothered by what happened to him. What Ed did. Stede has to almost consciously remind himself to express polite concern. He just doesn’t actually care, instinctively or automatically, about what happened to Lucius. Part of it is he blames himself more than Ed. Part of it is he just doesn’t care, Ed is the priority.

They’re little blink and you’ll miss it pauses in some cases. Micro-expressions. The absence of a reaction. But honestly, I will scream it to the end of time, Stede is not some nonviolent creampuff scared or upset by Ed’s evil ways. He wants to join Ed in the atrocities. The man ran away to become a pirate. He asked if Lucius was taking notes during a murderous raid.

Stede’s at least a little on some kind of whackadoodle pirate comedy neurodivergence spectrum to the point where he actually really actually struggles to empathize with people, even people he cares about!, if their feelings conflict with his hyperfixation (piracy) and the love of his life (Ed Teach). He’s always, ALWAYS going to pick Ed over Lucius or Izzy or his crew or even his own feelings, if the option is there. He will literally throw himself overboard to get to Ed’s side. No pause. No consideration of anyone else or even his own safety.

Stede sometimes seems to have to consciously remind himself things like, oh yeah, the crew, I need to see to them. Not because he’s heartless or doesn’t care, but because it takes a bit of conscious effort for him to see beyond the laser-focused spotlight of what and who he does care most about, he has to remind himself of social niceties and other people’s feelings (just see him running away in the first place!) when he gets an idea in his head. It’s as if he had to train himself to consciously care about some things other people care about and as a neurodivergent person myself, that felt very familiar in a comedically writ large sort of way. I’d even argue that’s where all his aristocratic social niceties come from. They were his guidebook for how to do things “right” in a world that otherwise made no sense to him outside his hyperfixations. He practiced being a person through the aristocratic training because it was all so foreign to him from the start, including caring, actually caring, about the needs of others. Not because he’s consciously evil or consciously a jerk. The instinct just isn’t there unless he practices at it until it becomes reflex to ask how others are doing, because on his own his brain just doesn’t really notice or care.

I just… hope the fandom notes and has as much FUN as I do noticing all the little moments where even people inside the story of OFMD expect Stede to act in a normal way and instead he remains unhinged, laser-focused on Ed.

Stede’s not just an Ed apologist, he truly doesn’t blame Ed for any of it. He blames only himself. He doesn’t always voice this but he really really only cares about anyone else including the crew as a DISTANT second and he has to consciously REMIND himself to do so. He is able to rally to take action, to care about their physical needs like safety during the rescue, but he still struggles, deeply struggles, to remember to show empathy in a non-performative way for anyone except his special person, Ed.

Stede’s not a creampuff, not a nice guy, not some emotionally or morally perfect angel. He has to consciously practice caring about literally anything else but what he wants to do and his special person. And to me that’s a thousand times more interesting than shoving him in a box labeled “the blond, pacifist do-gooder good guy” in their relationship.

[hy6erion]

The worms in my brain want needy Viktor fic where he’s actually pathetically needy

Idk…. maybe we give him a handjob ⁉️

subby viktor is just a NEED <3 like it’s not even a want anymore it’s a biological requirement. i’ve written so much viktor lately it’s actually criminal but i literally cannot stop…

he’s so pathetically eager and clingy and sweet i just… yeah. he deserves that handjob. and maybe a lil more. for his health. <3

⇢ 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 (𝐦𝐝𝐧𝐢), 𝐬𝐮𝐛! 𝐕𝐢𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐫, 𝐝𝐨𝐦! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐣𝐨𝐛, 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤, 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐭!

His knuckles were white from gripping the edge of the desk, trying to stay quiet, trying to focus—but the way your hand pumped up and down his cock ruined any hope of that.

“You’ve been squirming all evening, Vik“ you whispered against his ear, breath warm as you leaned over from behind, your fingers never slowing. “I thought you’d come undone just watching me walk around here, hm?”

Your tone was playful. Cruel in the most tender, loving way. You knew exactly what you were doing to him.

He made a strangled sound in the back of his throat—somewhere between a whimper and a plea—his hips jerking involuntarily against your grip. His cock was flushed, leaking, twitching with every stroke, slick sounds echoing in the dim lab around you.

“I—I was trying to focus” he rasped, jaw clenched, brows knitted together. “You—ghnh—you make it… impossible.”

You leaned in closer, lips brushing the shell of his ear as your hand twisted on the upward stroke, teasing the underside of his tip with your thumb.

“Poor thing. So desperate and sensitive. You’ve been hard for hours, haven’t you?”

He nodded frantically, shame burning bright in his cheeks. He couldn’t even form words now—just breathy, wet moans that he tried (and failed) to muffle. His whole body was tense, his knees trembling beneath the desk as you lazily jerked him off from behind, lips just brushing the corner of his mouth every now and then.

You could see him falling apart by the second, and it was glorious.

“All it takes is one look, one touch, and you’re like this? Really, Viktor. You’re brilliant in every way—except this.” You leaned down further, resting your chin on his shoulder, hand never slowing. “You’re so needy for me. It’s pathetic. You couldn’t even ask.”

“I—nngh—I didn’t want to interrupt your work,” he managed through gritted teeth, though his hips bucked up again at the way your tone dipped into mockery. “You were focused, and I… I can’t just—”

“You could“ you corrected him with a soft chuckle, twisting your wrist just enough to make him hiss. “You just didn’t. You sat there, stiff in your chair, cheeks pink, pretending like your cock wasn’t aching every time I walked past. Pretending not to rut against your own thigh under the table like a desperate little thing.”

The noise he made at that—something between a moan and a sob—had you tightening your grip.

“So needy you’re shaking. Is that what you want? Want me to keep stroking this pretty cock until you’re whining for it?”

“Yes” he gasped immediately, shame long forgotten. “Please. I—I don’t care anymore, just—don’t stop.”

His body was so responsive—his back arching into your touch, his thighs trembling under the table. He was normally so composed, so put-together, so guarded. But right now? He was a ruined mess, undone by your hand alone.

“That’s it“ you cooed, lips brushing his flushed cheek. “Let me take care of you. You work so hard, Viktor. Don’t you think you deserve this? Hm?”

He gave a broken nod, forehead dropping against his crossed arms on the desk. His breathing was ragged, desperate, every muscle in his lean frame coiled like a spring.

You reached your other hand down, gently cupping his balls, rolling them between your fingers with soft, practiced touches, and he sobbed.

“So sensitive” you whispered, nearly in awe. “bet you’ve been holding back all day.”

“I have“ he moaned, whined completely unashamed now. “I’ve been—fuck—I’ve been so close, so long. Watching you, hearing your voice—I couldn’t take it anymore. I almost came in my pants earlier, just from the way you said my name.”

“God, that’s sad, baby.”

“Yes,” he agreed without hesitation, rutting shamelessly into your palm. “I don’t care—fuck, I just want to cum, please, please—please—”

Your hand sped up, the obscene wet sounds of your strokes louder now as he trembled beneath you.

“I’ll let you cum, Viktor” you whispered, lips brushing his neck. “But only if you say it. Tell me how needy you are. Tell me what a desperate little thing you are for me.”

“I—I’m so—ah—I’m so fucking needy for you,” he gasped, voice high and breathless. “I’ve been aching for you all day, I can’t—fuck, I can’t think—I need it so bad, I need to cum—please—”

You smiled wickedly against his skin, biting gently at the base of his neck as you jerked him faster.

“There you go, baby. Let it go. Cum for me. Make a mess.”

That was all it took.

He gave a strangled cry as he spilled into your hand, hips jerking uncontrollably, cum spurting thick and hot across your fingers and the edge of the desk. His whole body shuddered, legs shaking, and he nearly collapsed forward if you hadn’t wrapped an arm around his chest to hold him up.

You milked every drop from him with slow, deliberate strokes, making him twitch and sob with overstimulation. His breath came in ragged gasps, body limp in your arms.

“You look so pretty like this” you whispered into his ear, licking a bead of sweat from his temple. “Absolutely ruined. My brilliant Viktor… reduced to a whining mess.”

He whimpered softly, body still twitching with aftershocks, his cock now twitching weakly in your hand.

“I… I love when you touch me like this“ he confessed in a dazed murmur. “It feels like my body forgets how to breathe.”

You chuckled and gently released him, wiping your hand on a cloth from the desk. Then you leaned forward, wrapping both arms around him from behind, pressing your cheek against his back.

“Next time, don’t wait all day. Come to me when you need something, hm?”

He let out a soft groan and nodded slowly, completely melted into your hold.

“I will“ he promised, voice weak. “But… if I had come to you earlier… would you still have done it like this?”

You smirked. “Mmm. Probably not.”

“…Worth the torture, then” he sighed, eyes fluttering shut.

You kissed the side of his neck and chuckled again. “You’re such a filthy little thing under all that intellect, Viktor. I love it.”

[blue-lights-to-dreams]

Golden Light (pt. 2) // H.S.

part 2 to Golden Light! please read that first if you haven't already!

synopsis: you and Harry go back to your apartment after your date, and learn a little more about each other in the process.

warnings: smut, kissing, fingering (f receiving), i think that's it?

wc: 3.6k

a/n: the (maybe) long-awaited sequel to Golden Light as so many of you requested! thank you all so much for all of the love on that work, i'm so happy you guys enjoyed it. let me know what you think of this and if you'd like to see a part 3! :)

----------

The crackle of the fireplace (and the wine you were drinking) was almost enough to soothe your nerves. Almost. 

You and Harry were sprawled on your living room floor, backs against the couch, enjoying the heat radiating from the fire as Harry described what he had gotten his family for Christmas this year. It was only the beginning of December, but he had everyone’s gifts already. He was so prepared, and the gifts he picked were so thoughtful. Each came with a backstory of exactly why he chose it, usually after the person mentioned something in passing once or twice. 

A vintage whale-shaped coffee mug for his sister, who’d talked about how much she enjoyed a documentary about them over brunch one day. A beautiful landscape by a local painter for his mother after she admired another of her works when they’d gone to the art museum. He’d even gotten a custom doll made for his goddaughter after she complained one day that none of the ones at the store looked like her.

You’d picked out a riesling from your small stash of wine when you two arrived at your flat, remembering that’s what Harry preferred. You’d quickly changed into soft shorts and a graphic t-shirt, needing out of your dress, before the two of you settled on the floor and fell back into comfortable chatter.

It was probably for the better that he was the one speaking at the moment, because you could feel your head get fuzzier with each sip from your glass. As much as you tried to stay focused, you couldn’t help but run your eyes up his frame. He’d draped his blazer over the back of one of your barstools as he’d come in, leaving him in just his slacks and half-unbuttoned dress shirt. He looked stunning.

Harry noticed the way you were looking at him but elected not to say anything as he continued his story. “I’m really hoping she’s going to like it. How about you? Anything special you’ve gotten for anyone?”

His question snapped you out of your mild stupor, and you racked your brain. “Not really – I’m not nearly as prepared as you are. I only need to get a couple of things, though. Just something for my mom and a few for my friends. Nothing major.”

“No siblings?” He asked.

“Nope. Well, I do have them, but they’re my step-siblings, and I don’t think I’ve seen them since I was like 14 or so. My dad kind of packed them up and ran for the hills with his new wife at that point.” Your statement was blunt, and you picked at the skin around your nails as you explained. It wasn’t anything you had a hard time discussing anymore, given it had been upwards of 10 years. 

“Wow, I’m sorry to hear that,” Harry looked like he didn’t know what to say. You probably should have said that differently, you thought, not wanting to overshare and make him uncomfortable.

“It’s fine, Harry. It was a long time ago, and probably for the better. My mom and I have only gotten closer since then, and I wouldn’t change it.” He nodded in understanding with a small smile but didn’t respond, letting his gaze drift to the artwork hung over the mantle of the fireplace.

A hush fell between the two of you, the noise of the fire and your creaky New York City radiator the only things audible. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, just calm and peaceful. You stood to open the window – the heat was getting to be too much. It was nearing midnight at this point, so there wasn’t much commotion on your street, but the sound of cars driving by now and then was familiar and soothing.

You returned to your seat, slightly closer to Harry than you had been previously. He seemed deep in thought, arm draped lazily over the seat of the couch behind him. His eyes hadn’t left the window after they followed your movement there.

“Whatcha thinking about?” You questioned softly, turning to face him and pulling your knees to your chest, leaning to rest your shoulder against the cushions. You didn’t mean to pry, but you wanted to know what was going on inside that pretty head of his.

“Honestly,” he exhaled, brows furrowing slightly, “you.”

“Me?” Not the answer you’d expected.

“Yes, you,” he spoke with a hint of teasing, flashing a quick smile at you before glancing away. “I was thinking about how long it’s been since I’ve enjoyed myself this much on a date. I really like you, Y/N.” His eyes returned to yours like they were searching for your response.

His earnestness left you speechless for a moment. You stared back at him - his eyes were so green, so beautiful, like waves were crashing against white sand just behind his pupils.

“I like you too, Harry.” He relaxed slightly, shifting his position a hair. “This is definitely the best date I’ve been on in a long time.” You weren’t always great at expressing emotion, but it was only fair for him to know how you felt too.

He grinned, then, and pushed himself up to slide closer to you on the floor. His eyes were still locked on yours, both of you smiling at each other like giddy teenagers. His arm was almost around you now but remained on the couch as you lowered your legs, returning them to a cross-legged position. Harry reached forward, brushing a stray piece of hair behind your ear before allowing his hand to rest gently on the side of your neck, thumb caressing your jawbone slowly. He looked you up and down, again admiring how gorgeous you looked before flitting his eyes to your lips. 

He inhaled briskly, hand not halting its movements on your face. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes, of course. You don’t have to ask, but I appreciate it.” As much as you liked Harry being a gentleman, right now, you honestly just wanted him to be anything but.

He nodded quickly before pulling you forward, pressing his lips to yours. It started with slow, gentle movements of your lips together, but quickly became much more desperate. His hands roamed your face before moving to your waist, gripping the skin above your hips just firmly enough to drive you crazy. Your hands were pressed to his chest over his thin silk shirt, and you could feel the muscles there flex as he moved his hands around your body. You weren’t normally one to care about muscles, but something about his drove you crazy.

Harry’s thumbs brushed your lower ribs as he deepened the kiss, stealing your breath for a moment. Your hands instinctively moved to his hair, fingers knotting through and gently gripping his short curls. A small groan left his throat, shooting straight to your core. His hands suddenly gripped your hips harshly, lifting you to pull you into his lap. He swallowed the small gasp you let out as he did so, flattening his hands on your back to pull you against him as you settled on his thighs. The kiss was sloppy, now, almost depraved, as he tried to pull you as close as physically possible. The way you were tugging his hair was driving him wild, you could tell, and it only encouraged you.

You pulled away from his mouth for just a second as your fingers moved to toy with the small buttons of his shirt. “Can I take this off?”

“Please,” Harry sighed, loosening his grip on you so you had the space to work. As you undid the last button, he pulled away from the couch and shrugged the shirt off, allowing it to fall onto the floor behind him.

He was breathtaking. At dinner, you could see the tattooed heads of what you assumed to be two small birds peeking out from under his shirt, but you weren’t expecting him to have so many more. Those swallows sat just underneath his collarbone, above a large butterfly on his stomach that almost appeared lifelike, the ink stretching and compressing as he breathed. His left arm was nearly covered in various small symbols and words, and you made a mental note to ask about them later. 

Your hands returned to his chest, this time without barriers. The skin there was soft to the touch but you could feel the firm muscle underneath. It was warm. Hot.

The corner of Harry’s mouth twitched as he tried to suppress a smirk at your wide-eyed gaze. After a few seconds of letting you stare, he pulled your lips back to his, unable to wait. It was just as desperate as before.

His large hands slowly slid down your back as your mouths moved together, finding the hem of your shirt before reaching underneath it to grab your hips. The feeling of his warm hands contrasted with the cold metal of the rings he wore, pulling a small gasp from you.

His firm grip on your hips was short-lived as his hands quickly began drifting upwards, thumbs slightly massaging your lower ribs. Fingers splayed on your back, Harry felt you pant into the kiss, unable to catch your breath.

He pulled away for a second, removing his hands from your skin. A small groan escaped you at the loss of warmth, which you hoped Harry didn’t notice. One hand moved to hold your face and the other bunched the hem of your shirt and tugged on it slightly. 

“Can I take this off?” He asked, not breaking eye contact. He needed to make sure you were okay with it, just like he would with whatever else ended up happening that night.

You nodded quickly, helping him lift the shirt over your head and toss it onto the floor beside you. He gripped your shoulders and pushed you away slightly so he could see you.

Harry thought you were stunning. His eyes raked longingly over every inch of you - shoulders, arms, breasts, and stomach, taking it all in. His hands slid off your shoulders to press against your ribs again, thumbs brushing the skin just under your bra. He tore his eyes away from the fabric and skin, gazing at you slack-jawed with blown-out pupils.

“Y’so beautiful, Y/N,” he panted, words slurred slightly from the breathlessness, and your heart just about burst in your chest. You weren’t used to being looked at like this, and it made you nervous, but the look in Harry’s eyes told you there was nothing to be afraid of. He didn’t look like he just wanted to fuck you – he looked like he wanted to worship you.

Instead of a response, you smashed your lips back to his. One of the hands gripping your ribs shifted to cup you over your bra, and you couldn’t help the moan that you let out. This only spurred Harry on as he followed suit, groaning into your mouth. The noise was divine – a low, throaty rumble that went straight to your core.

You needed more of his skin on you. Now. 

You reached behind yourself and unhooked your bra, shaking it off your shoulders until it dropped to the floor on top of your shirt. While you appreciated Harry asking for permission to continue with everything, you couldn’t wait until he worked up the nerve to ask you before feeling his bare hands on your chest.

He took your invitation to continue grasping at your breast, this time with no barrier. A louder moan left you as his thumb brushed over your nipple, electricity pulsing through your veins. Harry groaned into your mouth again, his other hand resting on your ass and bringing it forward until you sat directly on top of his length. It pressed deliciously against you, pulling another gasp from your throat. He was hard beneath you as you ground back on him, hips rocking in sync with the kiss.

You broke away for a moment to catch your breath, continuing to move against him. Your head fell back until you were panting up at the ceiling. Harry wasted no time in connecting his lips with your neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, licks, and soft bites along it and down to your shoulder blades. The room was quiet apart from the symphony of both of your breathing, the crackle of the fire, and the odd car passing by.

He continued to kiss down your body to the soft tissue of your breast, capturing your nipple in his mouth. The feeling was heaven as his tongue flicked the bud before moving to the other side, his thumb replacing it. His other hand was reaching down your stomach to the button of your shorts, toying with the seams of the fabric. He removed his mouth from you, and you had to hold back a whine of disappointment.

“Is it alright if we get these off of you?” he asked tenderly, staring into you again. You nodded hastily, helping him unbutton them and lifting your hips so he could pull the fabric down your legs and over your knees. You kicked them off, leaving you in just your underwear as he looked you up and down again.

With the layer of fabric gone, your center met his again. You could feel the warmth radiating from his shaft as you pressed onto him, the two of you both groaning in pleasure. The rigid zipper of his pants rubbed firmly against your clit addictively.

A sudden wave of insecurity rushed over you as you realized the situation you’d put yourself in. Here you were, on a blind date with a near stranger, and you were already sitting on top of him in just your underwear while he was still in his pants. It wasn’t like you to give in to a man this quickly, but Harry’s face and smile and body and charm had gotten into your head and pushed away your ability to reason. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be doing this - it was quite the opposite, you were having a lovely time. You just didn’t want Harry to think you were easy, or that this was your plan.

You didn’t realize your movements against Harry had stilled until he was holding your face again, forcing you to look at him. He knew you were in your head about something, and he needed to find out what before taking things any further.

“Y/N, hey, what’s wrong? Do y’need to stop?” His voice was thick with concern as he searched your eyes for discomfort. You shook your head hurriedly, not wanting him to think you weren’t enjoying yourself.

“No, no, I’m fine,” you sighed, face flushing in embarrassment. “I’m just– I’m not usually the type to fuck on the first date. I don’t want you to think that was all I wanted from you.”

“Well, ‘f it helps, I wasn’t planning on having sex with you tonight.” Before you could react negatively (as you were about to) he quickly continued, “I just want to make you feel good tonight. You said you’ve been stressed out all week about work, and I just want to make that go away for you for a while. S’that okay, baby?”

Of course, he knew the perfect thing to say. Your eyes nearly rolled back into your head at how considerate he was, and the pet name at the end was the cherry on top. “That sounds really nice. Thank you, Harry.”

He chuckled before lifting your hips off of his and setting you on the floor next to him, making sure you were close to the fireplace so you didn’t get cold. His hands prompted you to turn your body so you were parallel to the couch. One hand took root in your hair while the other caressed the bare skin on your hip as he kissed you again, slower this time. Harry used your hair as leverage to slowly pull you down until you were on your back on the floor, him slotted between your open legs.

“I want to take care of you, sweetheart, is that okay?” As if you would say no.

Your whiny ‘yes’ was rewarded with his hands caressing your inner thighs slowly, teasingly. You assumed you were noticeably soaked, the baby pink cotton of your underwear unforgiving when it came to hiding your arousal. He massaged the soft skin, moving upwards until his thumb brushed over the fabric’s seam nestled in the crease of your thigh. Your hips moved of their own accord, lifting in search of any friction they could find. Harry tsked quietly, securing a hand on your hip and pushing it back down on the floor.

He rolled onto his side from between your legs, supporting himself on an elbow with his hand cradling your head and wrapping an ankle around your leg to keep them open. His other hand traced a soft line over the wet patch between your legs, fingers brushing your clit with a feather-light touch. You couldn’t take it anymore.

“Harry, please,” you whined, trying to regulate your breathing. 

He chuckled teasingly. “What d’you need, baby? Use your words.”

“I need –” you cut yourself off, unsure of why you were embarrassed to say it when you knew he already knew what you wanted. “I need you to touch me, please.”

That was all he needed before he slipped his fingers underneath your underwear and swiped them through your wet folds. The contact was heavenly, forcing a choked moan from your throat as he drew circles around your clit in a precise rhythm. He was obviously experienced, building that warm feeling in your stomach faster than even you could yourself.

“Need these off,” he ordered, tugging your underwear down your legs and helping you kick them off before he hooked an ankle around your knee and spread your legs again. His hand returned to your core, this time with his thumb pressing on your clit and his middle finger teasing your entrance. Your soft groan encouraged him to slide it into you, pulling a myriad of lush sounds from your mouth as he pumped in and out. When he curled his fingers into you and brushed against the spongy patch that felt so good, you thought you were a goner. That was until he slipped his ring finger in alongside his middle and picked up his motions on your clit once more. It didn’t take long at all for you to reach the edge, the feeling building in your insides until you felt like a rubber band about to snap.

“Harry, I’m gonna –” a prolonged moan interrupted your statement.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he spoke softly in your ear, leaving a small kiss on your cheekbone. “Let it go for me.”

That was all you needed. The rubber band inside you snapped, and your orgasm washed over you like a tsunami. You clenched tightly around Harry’s fingers, hips writhing, as he worked you through your release. He whispered praises in your ear but you could barely hear them as the room seemed to disappear, leaving just you and the feeling of Harry’s touch. You had to grip his wrist to remove his hand from you after a few seconds, the continued motion turning overstimulating quickly. 

After taking a moment to catch your breath, you rolled onto your side to throw an arm around Harry’s neck and pull him closer to you. Your nakedness was catching up to you as not even the warmth from the fireplace was enough.

Harry quickly realized how cold you were and turned to grab the throw blanket off of the couch, draping it over both of you. That was something you were quickly learning about Harry – he was very attentive, and he seemed to be able to anticipate your needs before you even realized them yourself.

After a few moments of quiet, the sounds of your breathing mixing with the other ambient noises, you spoke. “Are you sure you don’t want me to do anything for you? I feel bad leaving you, you know, high and dry.”

He laughed, leaning down to press a kiss against your hair. “I promise m’okay, Y/N. What you can do for me, though, is let me clean you up and get you in bed. Our backs are going to kill us tomorrow if we stay on this floor any longer.”

----------

After Harry helped you clean up and change into a fresh pair of pajamas, he slipped out of his trousers, leaving him in just his boxers. You’d both crawled into your bed, and you rested your head against his bare chest as his arm stroked small circles on your shoulder. It took everything in you not to fall asleep, but you didn’t want this night with him to end quite yet.

“Harry?” you whispered, not wanting to disrupt the peaceful atmosphere in the room with your words.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Thank you for everything tonight. It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed myself this much, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate that.”

“Y’ don’t have to thank me – I had just as good of a time. You’re really special, Y/N. I’d love to do this again, if you’d let me?”

“Which part?” you laughed, “the dinner part or the after-dinner part?”

“Well, honestly, preferably both.” You were both laughing now, his stomach muscles tensing under your hand. 

“I think I’d be okay with that,” you agreed, knowing deep down you’d probably beg on your hands and knees for him to let you see him again.

“Thank you, baby. Now get some sleep.” He pressed another kiss to your hair and pulled you tighter to his chest, his other hand ensuring the blankets were tucked snugly around your shoulders before he allowed his body to sink back against the pillows. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Harry.” You drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a certain brown-haired boy that you knew wouldn’t be leaving your mind anytime soon.

[cellarspider]

Rambles in Star Wars History: The extreme shenanigans that changed an Empire

Bioware games can absolutely fascinate me, in part because of their worldbuilding, and in part because of where the worldbuilding ends. I mean, I did a whole long series of posts on the grammar of Qunlat and I have at least a dozen essays worth of material of exegetical analysis of religion in Dragon Age kicking around in my brain, which I keep threatening to actually manifest.

But since I'm here with my worldbuilding hat on, I'm going to ramble about Star Wars: The Old Republic, focusing on some of the sometimes-hilarious drama that's implied by the plot, and the implications for how these shenanigans remade a major galactic society in the process. Involved will be a man who faked his death to get out of going to meetings, a wine uncle who might become emperor, a living scowl with dangerous shoulders, and other assorted animals.

Expect a lot of bonus rambles in the image alt-texts, which is where I store commentary and jokes that I can't fit into the flow of the main post.

———

Before I dig into the topic at hand, I have to set the scene for those who don't know the game, or have forgotten in the fourteen years since the game launched.

Spoilers in the post below for Act 1-3 of the Imperial Agent, Sith Warrior, and Inquisitor storylines, Act 1 of the Jedi Knight storyline, the post-Act 3 Battle of Ilum flashpoint, and for various expansions including Rise of the Emperor, Knights of the Fallen Empire, Onslaught, and Legacy of the Sith. Assume that all reference links to Wookieepedia contain major spoilers.

SWTOR is an MMO set 3600 years before the Skywalkers crashed through the ceiling tiles of the galaxy, though it's not to say anything was less chaotic back then, just different chaos.

(Pictured: Anakin Skywalker, circa 32 BBY-4 ABY)

In this time, the titular Old Republic is opposed by a Sith Empire, which is precisely as functional as one might expect. After a decades-long conflict that ended with a Sith victory but left both sides exhausted, a state of cold war began. The Jedi, their Grand Temple destroyed, left Republic space to settle on an ancestral world. The Republic, battered and reeling, tried to recover its stride through use of its superior size and resources, and producing a truly unhinged number of superweapons.

The Sith Empire, in some ways, tried to pretend everything was fine for quite a while. They had successfully forced the Republic into a favorable treaty to end the war. They'd gained territory, they had a lot of work to do there.

…But as things started to look more and more like war again, they were left with the uncomfortable realization that they had sorta kinda killed most of the Sith in the last war, and Imperial citizens in good standing weren't producing enough Force-sensitive kids fast enough to rebuild the losses. Might've had something to do with most of them being dead.

The Empire, of course, is an absolute clusterfuck of a society. Slaves toil to maintain its power. Children of a slave and a citizen will be citizens themselves—unless they're "aliens", a category that includes everyone that isn't a human or a Sith pureblood, the original Sith species.

Being a citizen isn't great either: The Force-blind face mandatory conscription into the military, and can never rise to the highest echelons of society. Above them, the Sith act as a semi-hereditary aristocracy of evil space-wizards that serve an immortal, eldritch Emperor, their living god who has also kiiiind of gone AWOL for reasons only a few of them understand. He's torn between doing his job or staring at a living paperweight, and the paperweight has been winning. He also recently got trapped by an evil hole in the ground, it's complicated.

With the Emperor incommunicado, the duties of the state fall to the Dark Council, a ruling body of up to twelve Dark Lords of the Sith. Each have their own sphere of governmental influence, which are, one can only assume, very dark as well.

Presumably, the Dark Council had something to do with the inevitable yet still surprising solution to their space wizard deficit: over a thousand years of laws were suddenly overturned. Slaves, aliens, and prisoners were not only permitted to become Sith, it was now mandatory that they report for induction into training programs if they possessed any hint of Force-sensitivity.

This is how one of the eight protagonists of the MMO gets their start: if you play the Sith Inquisitor plotline, you begin as a former slave who has survived basic training and made it to the Sith Academy, where your teacher dearly wants to kill you. Your first mission: survive school.

I'm sure this is very relatable to quite a lot of you.

Now that I've got my PhD with only a few gray hairs, I'm looking back at this premise and thinking: This would completely upend the social framework of the Empire. You'd have every established Sith Lord in the Empire scrambling to kill these threats to their power, or harness them against their enemies, or both.

This is actually canon, but canon never touches on the broader, systemic implications of what the new Sith would do, and who they were before—Sure, the overseers of the training programs seem to be doing their damnedest to kill and undermine the newbies while maintaining plausible deniability, but enough of them survive to reshape the Empire. We know that. You play as one of them.

How in the fuck did the Dark Council ever manage to get this policy implemented in the first place? Obviously they did somehow, but the specifics are never mentioned.

But the specifics have the possibility to be hilarious.

The Dark Council itself is composed of Sith who either killed their way to the top, or inherited their seat from their Sith master—who they probably murdered. Turnover on most Council seats is incredibly high. The Spheres of Ancient Knowledge, Technology, and Military Offense each have three different Councilors within a single year, for example.

This also means that whoever ends up in charge of a Sphere might be entirely unsuited for it. Who heads up the Sphere of Expansion and Diplomacy? The least diplomatic guy on the Council, naturally. He goes by Darth Ravage, which fits in well enough with the three different Darths whose names mean 'death' (Thanaton, Mortis, and Rictus). The player can even end up as Darth Nox--'Darth Night'. You get the title by killing one of the Darth Deaths.

So, which of these barely-domesticated evil goths probably voted to allow 'inferior' beings to become Sith, overturning a fundamental tenet of imperial sith philosophy? Probably not the guy in charge of Sith Philosophy! We never see him, but he seems to have been a traditionalist. On the other hand, Darth "Murder has no rules" Ravage might not be huge on tradition, so we can mark him down as a "maybe". But he doesn't seem to be an instigator for something like this.

But on the subject of instigators: Darth Jadus.

Darth Jadus is an experience. While many of the other Council members make it quite clear they're angry enough to chew on the furniture, Jadus unnerves all of them by being utterly calm and composed, as long as you don't count how intensely fervent and irrational he sounds when he starts talking about the Dark Side. He's unhinged in a distressingly hinged-seeming way.

Heading up the Sphere of Intelligence, Jadus is a noted iconoclast on the Dark Council, using his authority to open Imperial Intelligence positions to aliens. He chooses slaves and Force-blind citizens to be his advisors and agents, ignoring the traditional power structures of the Sith. He prefers his literal cult following of fanatical adherents instead, who see him as a visionary savior, a terrifying inevitability, or both.

This means he seems to have basically no interest in elevating other Sith. In fact, he hates the way the rest of them run the Empire. Making more of them might potentially be against his interests.

Or at least it would be, if he didn't have some long-running secret plans that he wants to keep the other Dark Council members from catching wind of. Advocating for slaves, aliens and convicts to become Sith would superficially fall in line with his philosophy, and just raising the idea in public could cause such social chaos that his true plans would benefit from it. Jadus is also the most genre-savvy sith in the entire game: he seems to almost be aware at points that he's neither the protagonist nor main antagonist, and thus his evil plans involve not messing with either of them. When he jostles up against the main plot and realizes he has no plausible means to derail it, he responds by leaving the plot entirely.

Given the tactical chaos and uncomfortably fourth wall-touching strategies Jadus makes use of, let's mark him down as a "yes".

But Jadus is an unpopular one on the Council. He's creepy. Sith HATE feeling creeped out. That's supposed to happen to other people, dammit, not them! And with his disinterest in politics and his deep interest in foisting his manifesto on everyone, he's not the most effective Dark Councilor.

He might be able to pull in a few—Darth Decimus, head of Military Strategy, seems to have been quite willing to exploit any advantage he might be able to squeeze out of a situation. Fun side note, his voice actor also played the First Order officer who was just so done with Hux at the beginning of The Last Jedi.

[Video Description: A compilation of Mark Lewis Jones as Captain Moden Canady from The Last Jedi, with the video quality partially encrunchified by YouTube. This includes all of his shots from the film, from arrival of the Seige Dreadnought Fulminatrix, to the extremely annoyed look he gives the fireball that kills him. Sound supervisor Matt Wood was apparently pretty sure "FIRE ON THE BASE!" was going to be used as an EDM drop, and I can confirm, I've heard it out in the wild.]

Who else have we got rattling around in this Council, who might have extremely ridiculous reasons to vote yes? Well, we have Darth Vengean, head of Military Offense, was all about the Offense. Who needs defense? That nerd Darth Marr? HA! No, Vengean wanted to restart the war with the Republic. More bodies for the war machine would probably be fine with him.

Speaking of that nerd Darth Marr, Darth Marr.

Apparently he designed this armor himself. Solid effort, my man.

Marr is in his sixties by the time the game happens. He's one of the longest-surviving Dark Councilors, and he sounds so tired of his coworkers in every scene he's in. Heading up the Defense of the Empire, Marr also is the de facto leader of the Dark Council, by dint of being the only adult in the room.

Much like Jadus, he distances himself from the backstabbery and rivalries among the Council members. Unlike Jadus, he 100% means it, and has been focused on not making the Empire explode. He eventually ends up as the unofficial leader of the Empire until he gets one-shotted so hard it makes his ghost chill out a bit. He keeps the spikes, though.

So, if there's anyone on the Council who might vote for this on purely practical grounds, and has the power to push others into agreeing with him, because so help him if they don't stop holding duels in the conference room he's going to turn this Empire around—

Nobody listens to him on that, by the way. Both the Sith main plots involve duels in the conference room.

In fact, one of those duels is egged on by our last suspect. Marr might be a contender for longest-running Dark Councilor, but there is another candidate: Darth Vowrawn, who seems to be having a much better time being on the Council than Marr. I suspect the only reason why he doesn't have a bucket of popcorn with him in the Council chambers is because somebody made a rule that he had to stop doing that.

Vowrawn is a surprisingly cheerful old bastard who seems to have turned his hobby into his job. He shows up 'fashionably late' to someone else's attempted coup, after lamenting he can't sell tickets to the clusterfuck that's about to commence. In the expansions to the game, he can outmaneuver and outlive all of the competition and end up becoming the Emperor, at the age of 87.

Vowrawn is also indifferent to against the Empire's policies--he supports the ascension of a Zabrak to the Dark Council, and takes one as an apprentice as well. Beyond that, Vowrawn would have to support this move, because he's instrumental in any large project like this, both politically and practically. While the others I've mentioned all have roles explicitly to do with the aggressive expansion or protection of the Empire, Vowrawn heads the Sphere of Production and Logistics. In essence, he's the one who can decide whether all these other bozos get to eat or not.

If Vowrawn didn't accept this change, then it would have failed. So, he's a definite "yes" by default.

Speaking of bastards who are still active well into their eighties, we have one last major figure who isn't on the Council that likely advocated for this: Darth Malgus.

[Video Description: The "Deceived" trailer, set ten years before the game. God, I love this thing. This was the first trailer I saw for the game, and it got me, it really did. The Sith are just as ridiculous as they should be, combined with choreography that feels a lot more crunchy than lightsaber combat had been before, with distinct combat styles for the two main fighters. It's quick, it's impactful, and it's got a memorable conclusion. Love it.]

Malgus is as anti-racist and anti-classist as Jadus is, but without the insane transcendental Dark Side philosophy. Instead, he has an insane philosophy of bettering the Empire through eternal war, which he believes everyone should have an equal ability to participate in. He is what would happen if a Warhammer 40k character had an inside voice.

[Video Description: The "Disorder" cinematic trailer, set before the Legacy of the Sith expansion. Malgus is 75 here. Man's held together by spite and screws and whatever nutrients you can absorb by being thrown through walls. He's fully given up on the Sith Order at this point and is trying to do his own thing, and he makes it look rad. The choreography has only gotten better, goddamn. Why did it take me three goddamn years to watch this. IT'S REALLY GOOD.]

Malgus is a big deal in the military, with a lot of support from both the Force-blind soldiers and earning the loyalty of a surprising cross-section of Sith. We know this, because he nearly hijacks the Empire at one point in the early expansions. He'd be into this idea, and he probably advocated for it. While he'd have the most direct interaction with the military-related Councilors we already have in the "yes" column, he also has a history of annoying the bejeezus out of other Sith on "his" turf, so who knows! He may have been more persuasive to the others we haven't dug into.

And we can't really dig into all of them at the depth we have with some. Despite how bogglingly huge SWTOR is and the two thousand four hundred and ninety-five named characters and "Additional Voices" credits in IMDb, we never meet some of the Dark Councilors. If you don't play all the eight main storylines, you won't see all of them in the game. I'll admit, I've never seen Darth Hadra, because I've never gotten that far in a Republic-aligned storyline! The Sith you encounter in their stories can often be more one-note, because they're purely there as antagonists rather than people you are legally required to hang out with, and thus have more opportunity to pester mercilessly.

[Video Description: A clip from my own Warrior run-through, featuring my big lad Rejalgar, his coolest friend Vette, and his boss, Darth Baras, who is presently having a screaming tantrum, which Rejalgar makes worse with the most delightfully straight-faced "Is there a problem here?". The Warrior plotline lets you play things sincerely evil, sincerely noble, or sincerely hilarious. Do you want to see Jedi bluescreen when a Sith just straight-up refuses to be violent? Do you want to sidestep a boss fight by offering a family a government pension, something your boss commends as being very devious and evil? Do you want to break up a fight between gangs by threatening to eat them? Come play the Sith Warrior storyline, and be the chaos you want to see in the galaxy!]

[Video Description, from a clip I uploaded to YT specifically for this post after I found out you can only upload one video per tumblr post wtf: A clip from my Inquisitor run-through, featuring my extremely shirtless lad, Sericus, playing coy and a little airheaded when called up by his Sith master, Darth Zash. Back in the day, Purebloods weren't supposed to be played as canon for this storyline, but there were tweaks later made to dialog that provided a canon explanation for how someone with visible Sith ancestry could end up in this situation. The storyline, however, unfortunately does not fully account for a character whose ideal job description is 'villain's beautiful and deceptively intelligent consort, the true power behind the throne'. It assumes you're playing a character who wants to go conquer and/or do mad wizard-science. Bonus points for eventually letting you marry your eight foot tall razor-faced cannibal thrall though, that's very fun.]

Why don't we see all of the Dark Council? Well, because they're ultimately not important to the story as a group. Events keep you locked tightly under the purview of just one or two of them on the Sith side of things, before the post-game and expansion plots launch you into the experience of being a major player in Imperial affairs, and Imperial affairs launch themselves at you in return.

Everyone realizes the Emperor wants to eat them. Then he dies, except he doesn't. Malgus takes over the Empire for a few weeks. Marr takes over, but half the Council is dead and the rest are still in orientation and are probably also dead, because their would-be successors assassinated them. The Emperor, only mildly inconvenienced by also being dead, eats a planet. Then things go completely off the deep end, and the Dark Council is no longer your concern at all.

It's economical storytelling to not belabor the rest of the Councilors, and playing through as an ex-slave Inquisitor, you continue to face enough challenges directly linked to your background that the resistance feels systemic, even if you don't actually see all that many others who are facing the same issues.

But I think there's a lot of potential for some really wild storytelling in there. Your character receives some level of basic training before they reach the Sith Academy, along with a whole batch of ex-slaves. What did that entail? How was it organized? What happens when folks from abolitionist movements start being trained as sith, gaining all the attendant legal authority over the life and death of others?

And what about the prisoners who were released for training? While one canon option is to play a character who was facing immediate execution for participation in violent anti-Imperial resistance, at least a fair chunk of Force-sensitive prisoners were probably serving longer sentences. What happens when prison gangs start gaining a foothold in the Sith Academy, where they're too dysfunctional to even form Mean Girl cliques? What happens when some of their members become full Sith? How many of them might have Hutt backing, or even funding from the Republic Secret Intelligence Service?

These are the sorts of things the Sith themselves are terrified of. This earns a very sarcastic thoughts and prayers to them, of course. Yet it truly is wild to think about the decision-making process that went into this massive societal shift that the game treats as simply a piece of inciting incident for two plotlines out of eight: Twelve unhinged people sat down in some extremely high-backed chairs one day and voted to give everyone equal access to lightning.

I love Star Wars, it's just the funniest shit imaginable sometimes.

[lottienathive]

Top 10 lottienat scenes in the show?

1) their doomcoming confrontation is my number one for a very specific reason. it was my oh moment. when i first watched season 1 (before s2 started airing) this was the exact moment when lottienat hooked me. specifically this shot because it instantly reminded me of hannigram:

2) the blood drinking ritual

everything about this scene was crazy. the eye contact. the tension. the way travis kept fading into the background because lottie and nat were just so focused on staring at each other. nat drinking lottie's blood. the face lottie made after nat drank her blood. insane. i love it.

you can divorce me but you can't undrink my blood

3) the bathtub scene. need i say more? it's iconic we all love it and for good reason. it's intimate, it goes back to their roots pre-crash. for a moment they forget about their circumstances and the roles they have to play in the wilderness. for a moment there's no "prophet" no "hunter" it's just lottie and nat. just like old times.

4) the reunion. absolutely insane how this entire scene was framed... the build up with the music as nat was getting closer. lottie looking like she was coming down from an orgasm just when nat screamed her name and the first thing she sees when she opens her eyes is nat. "she's my friend." "is that what we are?" i was gagged.

5) i could wax poetic about this scene all day long. nat allowing herself to feel vulnerable. laying her head in lottie's lap. lottie stroking her hand. the intimacy and familiarity in the way it plays out. this entire scene from start to finish is very "folie à deux". a madness shared by two. the darkness within them that binds them. the antlers. i'm obsessed.

6) something something you construct intricate rituals which allow you to kiss the hand of your beloved ("you were always its favorite")

7) lottie inviting nat to dance and nat folding so easily when lottie asks

8) god i had to pause this scene like three times when i first watched it because i felt like i was intruding. it had me blushing. i think if you show someone this out of context they'll guess it's from the L Word

9) "i love you" ★ "i just want you to be safe" ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

10) the way lottie immediately ditched the conversation to run after nat lives rent free in my head. take an x-ray of my brain and you see those pixels <3