#I CANT MISS MY MUTUALS POSTS
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i feel like my dash is fucked because im not seeing some mutuals posts
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Every time one of my posts breaches containment I start to get a better understanding of why so many people remake when they get too many followers
#this isnt about any posts today. but like. its tiring as fuck having a blog i run for my own enjoyment but then getting bombarded with#comments and shit from people with piss poor reading comprehension. i cant tell if a mutual ever tags me in anything because im getting lik#500+ notes minimum per day. its tiring. i miss when this blog felt like my own space#if youve noticed me turning off reblogs on posts now. this is why
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so this is happening......
#in case ur wondering what the hell is going on over there#im so sad#im gonna miss twitter... unlike tumblr it felt truly global#sm international artists!!! 😭#i actually made korean(for cookierun) and japanese(for yyh) mutuals😭#its the only place i could do that#im so sad i made a lot of friends on twitter and saw so much amazing art everyday#and actually had mutuals/followed artists in the same fandom who liked the same niche charas/ships i do#i cant do that on here...#no offense to the ppl who post here but a lot of it isnt to my taste fmdbfnnd i cant search tags bc i always see stuff i dont want to see#characterizations/ships i dont like etc#whenever i searched thru a tag i always regretted it mfbfnfbfbd#not that i dont see it on twitter but i also saw more stuff i liked....#a lot more artists on there...#who r not on here#SO SAD TT
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tumblr keeps eating my notifs man >:[
#i cant even see when my funny mutuals reblog my posts....#i see nothing in my notifs and then check my mutuals blogs and low and behold they answered my ask and i MISSED IT!!!#FUCKER!!!#GOTDAMN!! TUMBLR HUNGRY AS HELL FULL OF NOTIFICATIONS#spacie spoinks#annorying as hell...#man if im getting tagged in cool posts and missing it....i juts might kill
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#missed my social media activities from 2 months ago#not a single art flop#art that i had fun doing is actually art that people love too#hell my vikdecai art are fun and people hate me for it but i once got 5k likes from it and it felt so good like yay everyone loves vikdecai#idk if its shadowban or not#but now my art doesnt even reach 100 likes#10k “followers”#not even 100 likes#i know its because they didnt interact with me in a while so they cant see my post until someone famous rt it#but whennnn#i fucking hate that#also a bunch of mutual artists that i admire are suddenly unfollowing too#what the fuck#i hate it so much#i know the fix is to just get a viral tweet#bcs 2 months ago the engagement increase was caused by one with 20k likes#but how am i supposed to do that when even my art cant reach 100 likes#it feels shit knowing how i enjoyed drawing this and then posting it and people say oh its fucking shit#dont even deserve a like#let alone let their followers see my art#disgusting#the artist should fucking die#fucking fag drawing gay shit#only pure white gays can draw gay shit#fag from indonesia like me should die
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i post my read books on my insta story but i havent updated since ramadan cuz i took a sm break then. i've since then finished 4 books need to update my fans once i'm back in my dorm
#if you are to ask why when ur in your dorm. it's bc i take a little pic holding the book#and my room there looks a lot better then my room in my parents' place agdhshdvwjvfvjd#anyways! my fans must be missing me#i actually posted my first finished book of the year here as well then with the rest i forgor </3#cant be arsed to post 7 book reviews. if ur so curious add me on goodreads (nesi) or better yet on storygraph (kitebbinceng)#need to do more storygraph propaganda.............i need my mutuals to open an account PLEASE#also can u believe! i've listen to more audio books then i've read them in print......also read more ebooks then print#how do i know? bc i can track the book edition on storygraph and they put all the stats in pretty graphs for me!!#GET STORYGRAPH NEOUW#nesi rants
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Visual of how it feels to overshare on tumblr
#em yaps#i love mice nrats soooo much#sweet little creatures#i drew this instead of oversharing about a song i used to loop and cry to for hours aftr my cat died#i miss him sooo much but i know rhats lowkey super sad to read abt so i try to keep it to dl when im ... able to#hehe;#rough doodle only bc i cant find my stylus had to use my hand#yuck#my art#idk this is a joke for my mutuals who like my rambling posts i guess
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when the . when the medication has side effects
#i knew i should have started on lunch at 10am why didnt i start making lunch at 10am#well at least i started at 11.something instead of waiting til i was dying at 1pm#thinking about that post about cooking i rbd earlier while i was prepping chicken just now#and yeah its easy to follow a recipe but 'cooking' as i see it is more about taste n flavour n all that so i would say i cant really cook#but some people are out there unwilling to google how to boil an egg or what julienning a carrot means and its like#well ok its not 1922 anymore guys you cant complain about stuff like THAT. just google it. youtube it even#plus i think a lot of times people try to cook one thing once and dont nail it and never try again#which is quite frankly stupid#cooking is an investment you need to make the same recipe five times and figure out what you like and what you want to add and so on#you have to put the time in brother you have to earn the right to complain about it sorry#anyway ogh i miss baking#mutuals come round and eat my baked goods bc i cant. im making persian love cake grab a plate
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i should post all the art ive done this past year sometime... maybe queue all of it or somethin, i miss posting here,,,
#nathan rambles#and update my tags!!! and my about me......and my commission sheet...........#at some point i got it in my head that i cant post until i get every social expectation out of the way#which ends up being never because recently im always busy#but i wanna be back here!! i miss my mutuals!!! i miss being in fandom!!!!!#actually yeah im gonna queue up some posts rn. and tomorrow#get this thing started raa!!!!!#gotta think of a fun tag first tho... i wanna go with a theme!!!!
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no one else loves me like @mallk-z does clearly
#i cant imagine missing all the posts ab how it was fake and a joke my friend asked me to help w#and fuckin#just believing straight up i had witnessed an attempted murder at a homestuck pool party#and being so ride or die mutuals that it doesnt even get brought up
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desire to make friends vs desire to stfu, coming to you in cinemas this summer!!
#an obvious underdog with no hope of success gets pummelled into the dirt once more!#do not miss this action packed sequel to the award winning 'desire to make friends vs terror of being disliked once known better'!!!#anyway enough with my movie trailer voice. i like two mutuals posts and go wow i interacted w my best pals so much today :D#nyxi cant stfu
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damn I miss playing wolves in my friend's back yard .... rb to play wolves with your mutuals in their back yard<3
#just blahs#i dont really think this needs any other tags sbhsjsjs#but i am going to kinda vent in the tags still feel free to rb this tho :]#i miss my friend tbh#she was my best and only real friend for like 3 years and then she moved away and now we only talk 2-3 times a year#and i dont.... know how to change that#i just want my best friend back#but i dont want to seem clingly because what if shes moved on ?#what if shes gone and shes doing just fine where she is now and she doesn't miss me like i miss her#what if shes perfectly content with me just being someone that she talks to a few times a year#meanwhile i have nights that i literally cry myself to sleep because i cant just go see her#she doesnt know that i want so badly to turn 18 just so that i can move to the same state and maybe live near enough that i could see her#and i dont think i can tell her that because what if she doesn't care that much.#what if im being ridiculous and i should be over our friendship that should have ended the moment she moved years ago#that i should have just moved on and it's weird that i haven't#anyways sorry for the vent in the tags of my silly goofy post#mutuals come play wolves with me in my backyard <3
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🦋
#i know i shouldnt even look#like i really should just stop obsessively checking his blogs#out of sound out of mind#and i have already muted his notifs on the messaging app#but that makes it hard to open it which i do bc im talking to two other ppl on there#i shouldnt check his blog... but i have like fomo lok#lol*#i dont wanna miss out on any potential knowledge#even if i know ... i should learn how to be fine with not knowing#since he doesnt wanna be the loml skkskskskak#i shouldnt be investing this much energy into someone who doesnt even want me in his life#so why do i keep doing that.....#it's just hard to stop checking#bc since he isnt talking to me his blogs are the only content and crumbs i get from him#if i stop checking his blogs it's like he wont be in my life at all and how do i cope with that#i know it's what's good for me but i just cant do it :((#also i just miss when we were mutuals#and when he liked my posts and reblogged from me and replied to my posts....#whenever i post pics i get so sad bc he never likes them (he doesnt even see them lmao)#he likes other ppl's pics and he reblogs them too#but never for me.....#idk guess that just kinda hurts lmao#the thing is#he SAID he cared abt me. that i was one of the very few ppl he liked this way#he SAID all of those things and it's not smth i just assumed or made up#so now it's hard for me to let it go bc it wasnt 100% one sided as it usually is#idk what to do this is eating me up fr
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i. am. DEAD. literally dead. i can't. i love them.
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#guys they said the thing! they said the thing!!!!!#ive watced it like 10 times already#also i know they posted this 5 days ago but i only get my news about the show from mutuals and i didn't see anyone posting it#and i went on insta to watch the new clip and i saw this too#and i died#shadow and bone netflix#six of crows#soc duology#also sorry for it being so badly cut lol but reels are stupid and you cant easily restart them and i missed the beginning lol
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howdy! my name is styx and welcome to my (hopefully not for long) new blog
my sideblogs are styxms (stimboards) and styxshipz (self-ship) which thankfully are still there!
my main blog, however, got terminated yesterday and im impatient so i made this while i wait for staff to please give me my account back. i didnt even do anything
rn im only following mutuals, even on sideblogs (if you arent a mutual and i follow you, feel free to ignore me! i dont have my following list in front of me so i mightve fucked up somewheres)
ok ty for reading i wish you and your blog a long happy life together
#styx says#see i couldve waited until its been 24 hours but i miss my friends and mutuals#also im at school rn and ill die if i cant look at silly posts when im supposed 2 be working#(hyperbole)
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man. man. i'd feel bad venting to anybody and i dont even have words for everything im feeling but GOD DAMN i feel like ass
#this isnt a promt for anybody to be like 'you can vent to me!' btw#i genuinely dont want to talk. i know i should but. i just cant do it man.#im really just posting this to get it off my chest#but FUCK FUCK FUCKING AAAUAGGGHGHH I HATE BEING DISABLED#i know im not stupid or wothless or a burden but FUCK DAMN SHIT it feels like it#and testosterone makes me want to hit and throw and break things but obviously i cant do that#i keep thinking that i make everyone around me miserable and i know thats not true#but everyone seems to be going through it and i cant shake the thought and FUCK#i lost $400 and im gonna have to pay all that back AND pay a $500 medical bill AND still pay all of rent#but hey! at least i cant pay for food bc my debit card was in the wallet i lost so that money is literally locked in my account 🫠#so that wont get spent! hhhh#and if i get my wallet back tomorrow im going to feel lucky and stupid for feeling this way now#but theres fucking nothing i can do!! and its not like i can help but feel this way!!!!#but god. it feels like I'll be an unhelpable depressed idiot forever. i hate feeling stuck so much.#milo.txt#vent tw#fuck me *running* man. god damn.#i know people love me i know they'd miss me if i were gone i know we mutually deeply care about each other i know i know i know#but come the fuck on milo get it in your head
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