#fucking fag drawing gay shit

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

mickey milkovich x nude, radiohead

i don’t think that anybody can disagree that 1x07 is the episode where we learn the most about mickey milkovich. no, i don’t mean he showed any development or anything like that, but we learned something about him that made him significant for the rest of the show. something that never leaves, something that is important to him. in 1x07, we learn that mickey milkovich is gay, and we learn that he is willing to sleep with ian gallagher (even when his father and sister are in the house).

in 1x06, mickey kind of has an interaction with ian that we later see and are like, “yeah, he’s totally gay”, but back then it wasn’t stated that mickey was gay. mickey steals shit from the kash and grab, and he tells ian, “you know where i live if you have a problem” kind of instigating that ian should come over.

but in 1x07, mickey has stolen the gun from the kash and grab, and ian goes to mickey’s house equipped with a tyre iron, ready to take it back.

the “i want the gun back, mickey” scene needs no introduction or explanation. we all know what happened. we all watched in awe as mickey stood over ian and both of their breaths evened out and they made contact and… bam! they’re getting undressed, just like that.

later on, we are no stranger to gallavich and fighting then fucking. it’s something many people know them for, the fact that they’ll literally beat the shit out of each other and then immediately get on each other. but here, it was supposed to be for shock value because shameless utilizes shock value. to those who didn’t know gallavich was going to happen, watching mickey, the thug who had literally just attempted murder on ian, undress and fuck ian was surprising. later on, we can understand why it happened, but we were supposed to be shocked.

so, here’s where nude by radiohead comes in.

terry wakes up from a nap and goes to take a piss in mickey’s room (there’s a bathroom in there, he isn’t just pissing in it, lol). in there, ian and mickey are naked under mickey’s covers. around them, we see a poster of a woman and we also see a drawing mickey made that says “fuck love”.

so when terry comes out of the bathroom and looks at them both, he doesn’t do what season 3 terry does, he simply says “put some clothes on, you two look like a couple of fags!” and it’s a comical scene because, what the fuck, terry, aren’t you a homophobic murderer? you woke up to grunts and crashes coming from mickey’s room, then when you came in he and another boy are naked in his bed… what do you think they were doing?

so when mickey does put some clothes on, he puts on a radiohead shirt.

the shirt says “you’ll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking” and those are the last lyrics of the radiohead song “nude”.

so for those who haven’t listened to the song, here’s my analysis of why this song is associated with mickey milkovich and how it ends up foreshadowing his entire character for the next four seasons.

“don’t get any big ideas

they’re not gonna happen”

literally this scene. mickey caves and gives ian the gun back because lets be honest, it was really just bait. ian leans in to kiss him, and mickey has a look in his eyes where you can tell he wants to, but he can’t. he built this wall up years ago and he’s already cursing himself for letting it come down. terry instructed him to get dressed, and he puts on this shirt. and he’s trying to put this carefully constructed mask back on but he’s struggling. and so, he pushes ian away, “kiss me and i’ll cut your fucking tounge out”. there’s no malice in his tone, it’s a threat, but it isn’t threatening.

“you paint yourself white

and fill up with noise

but there'll be something missing”

mickey hiding in the closet, marrying svetlana, being a father to yevgeny, trying to act like the perfect son of terry. he still has this mask on and he tries to hide who he is but alas, he can’t. he loves ian too much and when he gets married and pushes him away, he’s still gay and in love.

“now that you found it

it’s gone”

upon being married, he tells ian that they can still bang. maybe being married to a woman makes him feel a bit more secure because although he despises it and it’s crushing him, he can keep his whole “king of the southside” thing. now that he’s married and unhappy, terry’s satisfied, and that’s all that matters- well, at one point it was. so he tells ian that they can still fuck, but suddenly, ian isn’t as eager and easy as he once was, and he leaves. he’s gone.

“now that you feel it

you don't

you’ve gone off the rails”

he’s out, he’s with ian, he has ian. things are supposed to be fine- but they’re not. ian’s unstable and has been hospitalized, and mickey breaks. he gets shitfaced and cuts his cheek and cries into ian’s jacket. that wall he once built up? the chest he puffed up, the posters he hung, the tattoos he got, they all mean nothing. it’s all gone. the wall and mask are gone, he’s more fragile than he once was. ian’s broken and it’s simultaneously breaking him too.

“so don't get any big ideas

they're not gonna happen”

this line is so mickey in s5, s6, s7, and s10. ian calling him and mickey running to see ian. he has hope. but no, ian breaks up with him, mickey is arrested, and when ian visits he desperately wants ian back. he tattoos ian’s name on his chest, specifically over his heart, and he practically pleads for ian to stay. then, mickey and ian are fleeing to mexico, and for a second, he has hope again. he fantasizes about he and ian at the beach, ian’s freckled skin being sunburnt, them swimming in the ocean together. for once, he can imagine his dreams being true. but they aren’t. he and ian are getting their marriage license, but ian’s hand wavers over the dotted line and he gives mickey that look and mickey breaks (…ian’s leg. lol). he keeps getting his hopes up and everytime he scolds himself for it because he just ends up hopeless.

then finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for,

“you'll go to hell

for what your dirty mind

is thinking”

it’s in the 1x07 scene i’m talking about. terry instructs mickey to get dressed, he does, and he puts on a shirt that says this. and in that shirt, he seems odd. the confidence we see him have in 1x03 is no longer there. he doesn’t necessarily look vulnerable, but he isn’t the mickey he pretends to be. he caves and returns the gun, which was just bait for ian to come anyway, and he refuses to make eye contact with ian, but when he does, it’s almost coy? he’s ashamed. he’s thinking of things he know would get him killed and he hates himself for it. terry will end him if he finds out, and yes, he has the posters, the reputation, the persona, the tattoos, the guns, etc. but in the end, it’s all an act, and we can see it. the way he licks his lips, the way his eyes won’t focus, his body language says so much.

[alfiely-art]

I think I'm gonna come out to my family this year. Why the fuck not. Everything else is going to shit I might as well go out a fag. I'm gonna do it really casual too I'm gonna get a t shirt and write "guys I'm gay" on it in sharpie and then draw two boys kissing on it with an arrow pointing at one that says "me"

[psychobabblefluiddruid]

TW: kinda sexually suggestive read; just talking briefly about rpf for a bit. Tune in if you want, or leave, I don't care.

Here's the thing... I'm not totally opposed to rpf but I have to admit it is a bit weird.

Like more specifically, I am autistic, I sometimes have a very hard time reading social cues, so there's a LOT of moments on Oneyplays that I just wonder if it is actually real or not.

Like there's some instances where Chris and Zach are just "fagging out" and sometimes I can't even make this shit up. Like how can you tell me that when Zach put his thumb through his pants to look like a penis, and Chris did the same with his hands to look like a pussy??

Like that's probably a joke but there's just so many damned blurred lines at least to me.

I am not saying that they are romantically involved, sexually involved at ALL irl, that's the whole point of rpf. Acknowledgement that it IS fictional, as far as the nature of the relationship.

And well... It just seemed a bit fishy to me how Zach Hadel has two, count em, two characters that are self-inserts that are canonically gay or bisexual. Eh I don't wanna keep beating this dead horse, but it's like come on man. Just say two words or two sentences. You're gay or bi or whatever.

Albeit that being said, that DOESN'T change the fact being that he's in a relationship with his girlfriend Nikki.

I am able to separate the two facts in my mind that while yeah, this rpf is a bit weird, it doesn't bother me much.

Maybe part of the fact is Oneyplays has little characters that makes writing fiction for them easier to digest?

Maybe.

Does that make me a freak for enjoying it? Maybe so, yeah.

I didn't quite understand at the time that Hellbenders was totally queer-coded and maybe Zach and Chris were trying to say something serious? Maybe not, maybe I'm just a dummy.

But enjoying oneyplays rpf doesn't keep me from respecting the Oneyplays crew and said parasocial circles.

I probably won't always repost rpf stuff here because yeah I am a rather bit uncomfortable with others finding it.

Ya gotta understand that this is the person who used to draw Pete Wentz and Patrick Stump in awkward social situations with the band lol.

Rpf is probably NOT my main focus here but I'm still figuring out what. Tumblr might be a dead platform anyways... I understand if you just leave a like and scurry off to the hidey hole you came from. I won't force you to come back...

Okay thanks for listening on an episode of whatever the fuck!! 🥴🎧🙏🎶 🦉 🌙

[smolldust]

anyone else ever draw something and then they sit back and look at what they’ve made and go “holy shit, that’s really fucking gay Jesus Christ these characters are fags” or is that just me

[scucharlie]

NEW NEW PINNED NEW NEW ME!!! x2 [pfp]

I am cupid, or squid or ink! I use she/he/love pronouns :3 pick a name/prn and shift em around if you want!! or stick with one Idm either way :-)

I am the beloved test tube baby!! I'm also nonbinary/agender :) aroace-spec && tons of xenogeneders!! and a huge faggot :)

[plural blog] [oc blog] [only art blog] [emh side blog]

VERY mutifandom-ed!! right now I'm crazy about gravity falls & slenderverse!! I do love jrwi, utmv, scu && other shit :) non fandom stuff I love drawing & writing!! and collecting stupid shit like dr posters <3

I have no dni, if I don't want you around I will just block you :P grug don't give a fuck about Internet discourse. BYF, I do say faggot and fag alot, and I love mspeclesbians/mspec gays <3 also I'm insane

SEND ME ASKS!! TALK TO ME :-) DM ME!! be my friend or call me a slur either way I love yapping and talking I promie I am a silly guy with no evil wizard behind me :] mutuals let's get weird. together <3

[your-friendly-neighbourh00d-fag]

hey, remember that ficlet i said i was going to write? here we are!

that fucking painting.

The world is burning. Oh, haha, pun not fucking intended. The world is burning literally, Will guesses, but metaphorically as well. His world. His ears are ringing and his mouth is dry and he’s swallowing hard and he can’t breathe and his knuckles are turning white because he’s squeezing them so hard and he-

“Will? Can… Can you look at me?” 

Mike is still standing in front of him. His thick, black hair is in a ponytail. Of course he chooses NOW to look gorgeous as hell, and Will can’t be thinking about this. He can’t be thinking about this anymore. Not when Mike’s holding that. That stupid painting. 

“Wh-what?” His voice is hoarse. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

“I- I said it wasn’t from El, was it?” He sounds angry. He’s angry, right? Of course he is, why wouldn’t he be. Oh god, Mike hates him now. And soon El’s going to hate him too. His sister. Well, she probably isn’t going to count herself as his sister for much longer, is she. Shit. Why the fuck is he like this. The rest of the party’s probably going to take their side too, and they’ll be absolutely right for it, obviously. Of course they are. Tears start to prick at his eyes. 

“N-no, I, of course it w-w-was, she-”

Mike pulls his hands over his face in exasperation and sits down on the faded couch next to him. “Will, she told me herself. Who was… who was it from?” The painting has made its way into Will’s hands. The fucking painting.

Oxygen.

Oxygen, Will needs oxygen he needs to breathe, he needs to get out of here he needs to leave he needs to-

He’s running. Fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuck. 

“Will-” The rain is pelting at Will’s face, but he doesn’t even care. He’s numb by now. Because of the cold, because of everything. 

“WILL!”

Mike hates him now. 

“YOU CAN’T LEAVE, IT’S RAINING!”

El hates him now.

‘WILL COME BACK!”

Everyone hates him now.

……………………………

Will isn’t sure where he’s running to. Well, it’s the fucking apocalypse, he doesn’t really have anywhere else to go. And before he knows it, he’s at Castle fucking Byers. His safe place. His childhood haven. The place he built with Jonathan. 

And it’s fucking ruined. 

It’s fucking gone. 

Will sits in the wreckage of the Castle, really nothing but a pile of sticks and some fabric. It wasn’t a castle. Young Will had been so…

“Stupid.” 

Tears are flooding down Will’s face now. 

“So… stupid.” 

He’s biting his lip so hard that he draws blood, digging his nails into his forearms, closing his eyes and letting the rain wash over him. Will doesn’t even have the energy to cry properly. He just sits there. Sits there silently sobbing. Sits there letting everything pass by and happen to him. Sits there not doing anything.

“WILL!” 

Oh.

“WILL ARE YOU OUT HERE?!!?!”

Mike.

“WILL!!!!!!”

Mike is here. Mike is here and his hair is wet and falling out of its elastic band. Mike is here and he’s running towards Will. Mike is here and he’s wrapping his arms tight around Will. 

“I’m sorry,” Will whispers.

Mike’s lip is quivering and he’s shaking too. Why is Mike sad? Mike should be angry. 

“Wh-what are you sorry for?” He’s using that voice again. That stupid, soft, love-filled voice that made Will think he had hope. 

“I’m a fag.” 

Will feels Mike’s grip tighten on his shoulders. His pale hand slowly comes to rest under Will’s jaw, gently tipping his head up to meet his eyes. 

“Hey. Don’t say that. D-don’t call y-yourself-”

“Why not, Mike. It’s what I am. A faggot. A dirty little-”

 “STOP!” Mike grabs at his ears panickedly, holding his head like he’s hiding from a fucking monster attacking. He’s crying. Mike shouldn’t be crying. He should be happy that he has an excuse to start ignoring Will now. Not like it stopped him from doing it before, but.

“What. Can’t face the fact that your friend’s a fucking queer? That I’m gay? That I’m a fucking- fucking mistake? Because that’s what I fucking am, Mike. I’m a mistake. I’m a-”

Mike is.

Mike is kissing him. 

Mike has fallen forward on top of Will’s chest, eyes squeezed shut tightly and pressed his lips onto Will’s. 

He’s-

What the fuck is happening.

Will’s brain is short circuiting. He doesn’t know what to do. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of cruel, sick, prank? Oh he probably should have… Mike is pulling away.

“S-sorry. I… I shouldn’t have…” Will takes a moment to take in this beautiful black haired boy in front of him. His beautiful face that has tears running down it because of Will. His beautiful sopping wet hair that’s wet because he came after Will. In the rain. His beautiful golden brown eyes that have tears in them because of Will. Will has decided that Mike should never cry. Ever.

So he takes this beautiful boy’s face in his hands, wipes the tears away from his cheeks, and kisses him properly. 

Mike tastes like the sweet soda he was drinking earlier. Like rain on the weekend when you’re curled up in a blanket fort. Like popcorn and cold winter air. Like a meadow you’re lying in when it’s sunny, like syrup on eggs that he always insists on. Like childhood and like the warm glow of his basement. Like the last time Will was happy.

Mike bites down hard on Will’s lip, pulling him down further onto him and shoving his hands up into his hair. They pull apart after what could have been a few seconds, what could have been a few hours, what probably was somewhere in between. Mike and Will are now both breathing hard, staring at each other in wonder.

“So…” 

“So.”

Mike looks down onto the forest floor, pulling at the slowly ripping slip of paper. His face falls immediately, eyes prickling with tears again. 

“Y-your painting.” He sounds fucking heartbroken.

“It was stupid anyway.”

“No, n-no, it’s ruined. It got wet. It’s ruined. Your painting is ruined. It’s ruined it’s ruined it’s ruined-” Will grabs his face again and forces Mike to look at him. 

“Hey. It’s okay. I promise. I- I can paint you another one, I swear.” Mike’s eyes light up a bit more.

“Y-yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll paint you whatever you want.” 

“Okay.” 

They sit there, in the rain, for a little bit longer, holding each other tight like it’s the only chance they’ll get. Because let’s be honest; it could be the last chance they get. It’s the end of the fucking world! But it’s okay. Because they have each other. Mike has Will. And Will has Mike.

“Will?”

“Yeah?”

“I fucking love you.”

“I love you too.”

[bnnuy-wabbit]

HAAIIIIII you can call me Lago, im 21 (i dont know how EITHER), im just some guy*. this is my main blog and where i throw funny things that makes my brain produce juices and also random ass personal poasts.

one of those he/shes they never warned you about (pathogenic variant they have yet to make any vaccines to protect you from)

my art tag is #feral art tag.

there will be adult things in this blog because im an adult. follow at your own risk etc. were horny in here towards men occasionaly.

I'm brazilian. From Brazil. As in born here, living here and stuck here for the foreseeable future. é nois 🤙

Everybody says I'm really nice! I am Unable to hit people up first though, but if you'd like to be friends, send me an ask and I'll give you my discord!!!!

i have many interests (mostly music and nerd shit) and funny things that I'll be putting under the read more lest this post get Unbearably Big. There are flashing blinkies down there by the way.

OK SO INTERESTS. I like MANY things! and i have favorite things! I think it's really cool of me to have favorites. i decided I'm going to wear them on my sleeve. anyways Here's some things i Like.

MUSIC!!! its one of my favorite things ever. I play the guitar and a bit of bass. heres stuff in no particular order of favoriteness. Just stuff i care enough right now to remember.

Linkin Park (meteora, hybrid theory <3)

My Chemical Romance

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Mindless Self Indulgence

scalene

Rammstein

Ft-rj (listen to it or i am going to chase you with a broom)

francisco el hombre (i recommend the rasgacabeza album)

danny bond

2000-10s pop!!! fuck it, lady gaga, britney spears, kesha, katy perry, black eyed peas, that sorta jazz.

Every single Homestuck song there is. i have listened to all of them multiple times. My favorite albums are colours and mayhem and also the beforus fan album.

Dad rock (acdc, queen, talking heads, nirvana, judas priest, Some pink floyd etc)

Industrial and Adjacent. I've been listening to code:redcore a lot and some grammostola actaeon lately. processor also fucks.

OTHER THINGS I ENJOY

Eragon (the books)

Disco elysium.

ADVENTURE TIME. I AM OBSESSED.

How to train your dragon (the books. specifically.)

Animated movies!!! Specially the hand drawn ones.

My horrible little OCs (@honsebeasts just go there but also Beware.)

Worldbuilding. I do aliens and monster speculative biology. Most of my thoughts on it are on the Above mentioned blog though.

Real life physiology and anatomy also

MEN (and like 3 fictional women.)

HORSES!!!!!!!!!!!

stranger things

Pokemen (i do not know a single thing after gen 6 though.)

Dungeons and dragons, sometimes

Traditional art like watercolors and oil pastels

Drawing my blorbos in the same side facing pose or just standing there.

Drawing in General actually! Designing characters is my passion

Fictional fathers

sewing and felting and sculpting and painting and singing and playing

COLORS. i love colors. i love looking at them. i love playing with them. i would like to eat them if i could. i love warm palettes.

Hiveswap (pissing screaming CRYING)

MONSTERS!!!!!! They're really cool and gay and hot.

Portal (the games. all of them. glafos........ kissing her)

Half Life.

y2k and 80s-90s vibes. i think its awesome.

I am afflicted by the human condition and also a few other funnier conditions. my brain and my body dont work right.

If you want to know the brunt of the brain ones: autism adhd avpd. they all impact heavily how i interact with people with people. Sorry in advance if i can't keep conversation going.

I'm some sort of queer thing. If we need to get really specific, id say "bisexual aromantic bigender femme", mostly into men and butches, but Queer will do just fine. I'm a self entitled part time pretty fag and ugly dyke in my free hours. Intersex it turns out.

[yoongiblunt]

I got to see pierce the veil AND the used on Wednesday!!!

I waited 15 years to see the used after finding them on my dads work music hard drive from the club (that’s how I found mcr and most other shit I ended up being about when I was like, 8) and the fact that I was in the same room as Bert? Feral. Insane. Bonkers. There really aren’t words. The whole time I was thinking back to those YouTube fanfics of him and Gerard— which is hilarious bc I’m nearly 24 now. I held up a little thing on my phone that said “bert made me gay” and the man took one at it and gave me the stupidest smile and tapped his temple before pointing in my direction and laughing. He all but called me a fag then and there lmaooooo. A lot of the crowd wasn’t there for the used, which is real. Most of them were 16ish. But I was close enough to the stage that me absolutely foaming at the mouth and screaming every single word to their songs was definitely noticeable. Bert stayed very close to our end of the stage for most of the show.

And pierce the veil was surreal. I waited 12 years to see them. I remember sh’ing and crying and listening to them when my parents fought, which is wildly depressing, but that was my sense of control then. I remember staying up waiting for king for a day and a love like war to premiere. I remember drawing fanart of myself and Vic meeting at concerts like warped. I was prevalent enough in the quotev ffc that someone actually wrote a fic about Jaime and I having crushes on each other while both our bands played warped tour and there was this cute little scene where Vic and I were chatting while sitting in lawn chairs outside of our busses while drinking coronas??? He told me that Jaime had a crush on me and then in that same setting later in the fic Jaime and I had a smooch. It’s wild that it’s been so many years and these artists still have this impact on me??? I was literally sobbing during hold on til may and all of my friends were trying so hard to get him to pull me up on stage. He didn’t, but this girl Jessica did get pulled up and she was shaking and crying and he was holding her shoulder very carefully while their foreheads were pressed together and he sang to her. Then he gave her his guitar. It was almost made up feeling the way that they were all in front of me. I swooned over Tony hard.

I did take huge issue with the people that were in the crowd though. Without asking, boyfriends were moving their girlfriends in front of me or big groups of people were trying to elbow threw, as if I didn’t want to be there just as badly as I did. I got to the venue at Fuckin 1:15 and the show wasn’t until 5:30. The Fillmore was dogshit at setting up a line though and hadn’t even put out the gates or anything. So we had been waiting out on the steps just for them to fuck the line up so badly that people who got there at 5 were running and surging to the front.

I remember I had a little thing on my phone that was like “Tony toss me a pick” and my friend even caught him throwing them my direction on camera after I yelled his name just for this tiktoker to grab all of them and shove them in her pocket. It was obvious who they were meant for.

I tried rlly hard to not be annoyed by those things though, because it was such an important show for me.

I’m finally making baby key happy. I’m making my inner child happy. I’m experiencing things I never got to as a kid. I didn’t go to concerts or express myself. Now I’m becoming the person I want to be and doing the things I want to do.

Danielle was walking in and out of the venue and I wanted so badly to say hey to her and ask her about the baby but I didn’t want the crowd to notice her and swarm so I just stayed still. Anthony Tran came and took pictures of the people next to me and it was obvious they didn’t realize who he was either. So I stayed quiet. But inside I was losing my Fuckin mind.

We also accidentally parked right next to ptv’s bus??? It wasn’t like, intentional. We managed to find really good venue side parking and we kind of debated on whose bus that would even be because there were 4 of them but we didn’t linger. After the show I noticed a little crowd and I wanted to hang around but I was also trying to figure out where my friend was, so not 10 feet away from me the crowd of like 6 people walks away and I figure security told em to fuck off. Turns out Vic popped out and hung out with them for a sec. Right beside me. And I didn’t notice. But my hair is the absurdly bright red so I’m sure he saw me. I cannot bELIEVE

Anyway, it took everything in me to not buy tickets to see them in Atlanta on Tuesday just bc I am still not over this show. I am thinking about trying to see them in Texas though if money permits

[mclennonlgbt]

John queering and Paul un-queering the Beatles

TW: f*g slur

Reading and watching the various statements by John and Paul, I've noticed that Lennon loves to refer to the Beatles as "four fags" - and if he talks about himself and Paul, he is also heavily queer-coding - and McCartney is very distant from the subject. He doesn't feel comfortable with it and tries to convince himself that the Beatles were 100% heterosexual.

Everyone can draw conclusions for themselves. Here I wanted to put a compilation of those statements.

JOHN LENNON

1971: "The laugh is that nobody ever said – they did say to us Beatles, as Beatles: „Don’t you get on each other’s nerves?” I suppose that was the same question, but they didn’t really… Now they’re howling because we are parted. But there were times that I spent as much time with George, Paul and Ringo as I did with Yoko. I mean I slept with them in the same room – in twin beds of course – on tour… And I lived and breathed with them for 5 or 10 years or something. Nobody said that about 4 young fags living together, right? Not a word!"

1972: "It’s a strange thing, though, that the whole of the world would like 4 men to stay together. In blissful youthfullness – all shaking their heads and being the Fab Four, and never having any women in the scene. Very strange seeing the whole world wants 4 fags to go on together, you know, forever”.

I don't know the year (from the book "The Beatles: Off the Record"): "“The Beatles’ tours were like Fellini’s Satyricon. [...] I mean, we had that image, but man, our tours were likes something else. If you could get on our tours, you were in. Australia, just everywhere! Just Satyricon. Just think of Satyricon with four musicians going through it. Wherever we went, there was always a whole scene going on. We had our four bedrooms separate and Derek and Neil’s rooms were always full of fuck knows what, and policemen and everything. Satyricon! We had to do something, and what do you do when the pill doesn’t wear off, when it’s time to go? I used to be up all night with Derek, whether there was anybody there or not. I could never sleep, such a scene it was". "Satyricon" is s a 1969 Italian fantasy drama film by Federico Fellini. The movie contains quite a bit of sexual innuendo, but very little, if any, is heterosexual.

1980: "Still, in the early days, we didn’t care about lyrics as long as the song had some vague theme… she loves you, he loves him, they all love each other.”

1980: "Nobody ever said anything about Paul's having a spell on me or my having one on Paul! They never thought that was abnormal in those days, two guys together, or four guys together! Why didn't they ever say, 'How come those guys don't split up? I mean, what's going on backstage? What is this Paul and John business? How can they be together so long?' We spent more time together in the early days than John and Yoko: the four of us sleeping in the same room, practically in the same bed, in the same truck, living together night and day, eating, shitting and pissing together! All right? Doing everything together! Nobody said a damn thing about being under a spell. Maybe they said we were under the spell of Brian Epstein or George Martin”.

PAUL MCCARTNEY

The Beatles Anthology, 2000: "It was always obvious Brian was gay and we could talk to him about gay things, but he would never come out with, 'Hello, Paul, you're looking nice today.' I was quite obviously un-gay, due to my haunting of the female hordes, and I think we all must have given the same impression".

1997, Paul talking about the script of „Up Against It”, the movie the Beatles were supposed to star in, but that never happened, to Roy Carr: "We weren’t gay and really that was all there was to it. It was quite simple, really. Brian was gay… and so he and the gay crowd could appreciate it. Now, it wasn’t that we were anti-gay - just that we, The Beatles, weren’t gay".

I don't know the year: “But John, I loved him as a brother, but I’m not writing a love song to him".

Disclaimer: I'm aware that John is mildly homophobic in his statements and that Howard Stern is very pushy on Paul, which really sucks (Howard Stern sucks in general).

[gotta-get-back-to-hatchetfield]

Senior Year things to appreciate apart from Gilderoy (who I think we've been doing plenty of well deserved appreciating this week):

Brian Holden as Hagrid - so fucking funny, I remember squealing my absolute head off the first time I saw this bit. I completely understand why Darren is just creasing throughout the whole scene.

The way that learning about Voldemorts backstory isn't necessary to appreciate his plot in AVPM but when you know it it adds so many more layers. Starkid literally said Voldemort is like that because of homophobic parents and we were like fuck me up fam.

This has already been discussed at length but obviously the last scene. "I hope you find that swimming pool". Albus Scarfy Potter. Quirrelmort. Wang Mu. Okay is wonderful. All of it.

Tyler as McGonnagall - seriously what can't that man play?? He embodies her.

YOU GOTTA GO HOME, YOU GOTTA GO HOME - you know what I'm on about

Jeff Blim's vocals in Get in My Mouth. Also would recommend looking up Nick Strauss' cover from a Leaky Con in I think 2013. It's on YouTube and it's fucking incredible.

I Was and Tonight This School is Mine are both complete bangers and the fact that they're still audiably bangers even with the microphone issues says a lot. The fucking poetry in I was, and the fucking sass in ttsim

The many layers of Always Dance. The beautiful bit at the start with Dylan, then the fucking dance off between Voldemort and Lucius which is everything and finally the evil last verse when he's waltzing with Ginny

Sidekick.

Joey Richter's actual real ass human tears that he manages to squeeze out

Everything Ends continual ability to make me bawl like a baby. Goddam you Brosenthal why is your voice so good.

"I think we FOUND each other". It should be illegal for a line so funny to come in the middle of a scene so emotional. I distinctly remember when I watched it as a teenager having to pause to howl with laughter (tigerfucker and Santa Claus is going to high school are the only other scenes I remember having to do that for on first watch). Lilly divorcng James in heaven and remarrying Cedric is just an inspired concept

Evana Lynch smoking a fag - it was really cool that they became big enough to get an actual Harry potter actor in the show but just watching her smoking while washing blood off her hands made it so worth

The fact that AJs commitment to being in both the band and the cast means there are so many moments where the camera pans across and it's just oh look there's Gilderoy Lockhart just casually playing keyboard with Clark

The death day party scene - Ron and Lavenders date, Harry and Cho's date and then Seamus and Dean's double date with Ginny all 3 of them fucking hysterical. Also the bit with the ice sculpture and the roller skates

Brant Cox - he has like 5 lines in this play but they're the funniest 5 lines

All of the boo boos - most specifically 'fuck the tie' and 'a floating diary? Ah shit'

"sssssnake ssssnake I'm a snake where are my arms gone, only kidding I'm a ssssnake"

"sparkles, sparkles, I'm gay!" ~ Lord Voldemort

"I drew a majestic owl" - watching the SK10 livestreams and apparantly this comes from when they were doing a 24 hour story writing thing (a Hackathon for humanities students??) and Jim got bored really early on so spent most of the time drawing a realistic owl

And finally that it actually happened in the first place because I remember how initially it was going to be right after the sequel but then everything got thrown into disarray, and it kept getting pushed back. But thanks to us being absolute impatient assholes who commented 'give us threequel' every time they so much as breathed on social media we got it and it was wonderful!

[magniloquent-raven]

(pt1 here)

billy grew up afraid of finding his soulmate.

when he was eight his father caught him trying to wash nail polish off with soap and a hand towel.

he’d heard girls at school saying it was what you did when your soulmate was a boy. you were supposed to paint yourself up all pretty and find the person who matched. and it was easy enough to sneak into the vanity and steal a bottle of his mother’s nail polish. but once the paint dried he realized it would be impossible to hide from his father, and he panicked.

his mother showed him the bottle of nail polish remover after neil left. dabbed some on a cotton ball to rub at the thick layer of paint. she was silent, kneeling on the floor in front of him cradling his sprained wrist while he sat on the edge of the tub and cried.

they both had questions, but neither of them got answers.

it took billy months to work up the courage to try again.

he wasn’t sure why he was bothering, at first. he knew he couldn’t look for his soulmate the traditional way. and he was constantly terrified that his father would find the supplies he’d started hoarding. it seemed like more risk than reward, and yet. he couldn’t stop himself.

every time he was allowed to wander off in a store alone he’d slip something into his pocket. a tube of lip gloss. a compact full of shiny powders. he wasn’t even sure what some of it was, he just liked the colours. liked the pictures they hung alongside the displays. he wanted to look like that. beautiful.

and in his heart of hearts, he wanted the boy who was out there waiting for him to know he existed. whether they’d be able to find each other or not.

he’s more careful with this than he was with the nail polish. his father works saturday nights, and his mother always visits their neighbour while he’s at work. despite having the house to himself he locks his bedroom door.

the first thing he tries is the watermelon lip gloss. it’s sticky, and the wand doesn’t fit in his hand comfortably, but once he’s smeared it on he feels...good. he likes the way it catches the light. likes the way it smells. he looks at himself in the mirror and likes seeing something different.

the high doesn’t last long, it inevitably gives way to paranoia, anxiety that has him glancing at the locked door every thirty seconds, heart pounding, wondering if just maybe his father will get home from work early, and he jumps at every sound, hearing boots thudding on the porch and car doors slamming and anything that could be neil coming through the door.

cleaning himself up is hard. panic makes his hands shake, his eyes well up. he drops everything on the floor when he tries to tuck the bag away. and he has to spend twenty minutes with his back to his bedroom door getting his breathing under control when he’s finished.

but he does it again the following saturday. and the one after that.

for five months he does this. locks himself away with his stolen treasures and lets himself live a little. it gets easier as time goes on. and his mind wanders sometimes. to a future where he gets to share this with someone. the boy out there who’s supposed to love him one day.

it’s a small bubble of a dream. one he doesn’t spend too much time dwelling on. not when there’s neil’s voice in his head, telling him that no one could love a fucking freak, ‘cause fags don’t get real soulmates anyways.

he wants and he wishes, but the more he thinks about it the more he doubts. he’s never gotten a mark from his soulmate, and even if he did some day, what if his father’s right, and his “soulmate” doesn’t want him or makes him miserable or...worse.

so he does his makeup for himself.

until, like all good things in his life, his father ruins it.

he never found out what set neil off initially, something going wrong at work maybe, or the martial strife of the week getting to him. whatever it was that started it, neil eventually decided billy should bear the brunt of the fallout.

so he went through his things. said billy’d been acting cagey lately, and he was going to find out why.

and then found the makeup bag stuffed into an old sweater in his closet.

it was ugly. the things neil said that day would play on repeat in billy’s head for years afterwards. the scars his belt left on billy’s back were nothing in comparison.

the next saturday came and went. billy spent the evening curled up under a blanket not bothering to wipe away the tears dripping down his face.

by morning he’s resolved to forget the whole thing. to put it behind him. because it was stupid, and risky and childish and maybe his father was right. he’s almost convinced himself. and then he notices ink on his arm, as he reaches up to rub his eyes. messy scrawl, i bet you looked pretty crookedly written up his forearm.

he didn’t think he was able to cry any more, but he manages it.

for the first time his soulmate isn’t just a concept, or a what-if, he’s...a person. he’s a real person out there somewhere. someone who doesn’t even know billy and still wanted to reach out, to offer comfort. it’s more than he’s gotten from anyone else. even his mother. who he knows loves him, and she does her best to protect him, but when she found out about his makeup stash she just looked sad, and she’s said nothing to him about it.

but his soulmate…

can never, ever meet neil.

the thought hits him right in the chest.

whoever he is, he cares, he’s good. and neil breaks good things.

billy falls asleep that night tracing the empty space where his soulmate’s message used to be, wrapped up in worries and dreams, and terrified for someone he’s never met.

the doodles that come and go over the years are terrifying and exhilarating and billy manages to hide every single one from his father. they only ever show up during the day, and they don’t linger. something billy is both grateful for and resentful of.

sometimes he’ll watch other boys’ hands in class. check them for drawings. he thinks he’s being careful, but a girl in his chem class, becca, catches him. she says it’s only because she knew what to look for. they share a cigarette under the bleachers and she tells him about a girl who likes green eyeshadow and writes homework reminders on her wrists using stars instead of bullet points.

it takes billy six months and a couple shots of tequila to tell her about watermelon lip gloss and bet you’re pretty and they both cry when he starts to wonder if his soulmate will be disappointed that he isn’t a girl.

on a rainy april afternoon she asks him to go to a gay bar with her. he tells his father he’s going on a date. she tells her’s that she had to reschedule a tutoring session and it’ll run pretty late.

they wait til it’s dark and get ready in a dingy gas station bathroom. when she’s smearing on her eyeliner she catches sight of his face in the cloudy mirror. he wasn’t going to ask her for anything. he wouldn’t have brought it up. the twinge in his heart and a hollow feeling of longing aren’t anything new, he can deal.

he feels and empty kind of rage every time old, well-meaning relatives give max girly lip gloss kits and eyeshadow pallets and shit normal preteen girls who care about finding their soulmates actually appreciate. she always rolls her eyes and throws them away. susan will fish them out of the trash sometimes, and leave them under the bathroom sink, like if max just sees them there she’ll suddenly give a shit and start using them. like them being there does anything but taunt billy with what he can’t have.

neil watches him like a fucking hawk every time that shit comes into the house. and max doesn’t fucking care. doesn’t notice.

but becca offers.

and.

he’s not about to say no.

he should’ve said no.

it feels good at first, like it used to, it feels like freedom and he likes what he sees when he looks in the mirror, and he kisses a boy for the first time and it isn’t fireworks but it’s something, and he thinks maybe it’s going to be a good night, but then…

neil is waiting on the curb outside becca’s house. they were heading there first, because her parents wouldn’t notice, she said it would be fine, she has makeup remover he can use, he can clean up and head home and everything was supposed to be okay, except. it wasn’t.

it’s the last time he sees becca. neil tells her parents what was actually going on, and she isn’t allowed to visit him in the hospital.

and then six months of rehab, one rushed wedding and a big ugly sold sign later, neil carts them off to hawkins, indi-fucking-ana. as a “family.”

billy was certain this town would be nothing but a prison. it’d be somewhere he’d never find a place to be himself, neil would make sure of that. there wasn’t a single thing to like about this place and its bullshit small town sensibilities. for all the open space it might as well have been stone walls and steel bars.

except.

except...here was a boy with soft eyes and nimble fingers, who gets a little wrinkle between his brows when he concentrates, and is always moving, fidgeting, fiddling with zippers and touching his elbows and looking at him makes billy itch. to touch, to soothe, to take, and…

things get complicated when aimless blue waves scrawl up billy’s arm. when steve follows him out into the parking lot. calls him pretty to his face. and suddenly billy’s eight years old and realizing this shit is real. terrified of what that could mean. spinning fragile dreams like spider’s silk, hard to shake but easy to destroy.

even entertaining the idea of putting on makeup while he’s still in hawkins is stupid and dangerous, but goddamn if he hasn’t risked more for less.

he’s sure he’ll regret it. like he’s regretted every other desperate bid for freedom. but when faced with steve harrington’s smile, he can’t find it in himself to say no.

(edit: pt3 here)

[winters-hysteria]

Hi hi! So I’m interested, a stranger things ship, I’m gay and ftm (he/him) I have short dirty blond hair blue eyes and snakebites. I like sketching, drawing, animating and reading. I love pastels and soft colors and I’d like to think of myself as more of a “babycore” person. But I also do love horror/gore! I’m a pretty reserved and quite person and i find it hard to trust people, I’m also a huge animal lover (specifically possums and bats) and tend to keep to myself, kinda fading into the crowd

hi hi babes! i think you and will would go great together.

NOT BECAUSE HE IS GAY, but omg would you two fuckers go together <3

i feel like you two would give each other drawing/painting tips like all the time, and you'd help him discover his style and come out to his family (you do it via cake left on the table. poor baby has such bad anxiety he gets the rainbow cake, gets them to write "i like boys :) " and then has to leave it on the table and go upstairs to cuddle with you because he's panicking so bad. (spoiler alert : Joyce already knew. jonathan wasn't as shocked, and el was literally so elated he finally came out. mike, however, kinda lost contact with him after he came out. and then el broke up with him bc he was talking shit about will to some of his assholish new buddies and she started dating max. DOUBLE DATES))

i also think he enjoys the babycore thing. he thinks it's pretty cool, and chooses instead to explore a "softcore" aesthetic before settling on a more pastel colour scheme. y'all pick out outfits together all the fucking time omg

also one day you just get sick of his bowl cut and when it grows out you take matters into your own hands and you cut it yourself. you two eventually have to pool some cash to go to a hairdresser because you slipped up with the scissors, but when he comes back out he looks so much better than that godforsaken bowl cut

you guys get weed from jonathan and argyle as will gets bolder and more crazy, you are the one to introduce him to his teenage dirtbag years. Joyce honestly doesn’t mind it because he’s getting out and making new friends, but you two are a bit reckless.

he likes horror movies, but only when you're there to hide his face in.

he also tends to do the crowd fading thing as to not be called out as a fag :D and so you two can blend pretty easy.

he enjoys your animal obsession and you have a lot of stuffed animals and a cool bat ring that he got you on your birthday

in total omg u two are so fucking cute

[no-romo-yes-homo]

today I saw a post on instagram with a warning slide that was like "WARNING! BOYS LOVE!! DO NOT ENTER!!" and the next slide was literally just two guys from kof cooking dinner together. I cannot tell you how fucking MAD that shit made me oh my fucking god I wanna put my phone through a goddamn wall!!! fuck!!!

the fetishization of mlm and just- gay relationships in general- is so normalized and just. ugh. I hate that anything we do has to be censored, like making dinner with your spouse is suddenly a "sinful" and "gross" activity. the guys in the drawing weren't even kissing!! fuck they were barely touching!!!! that's not something that should be censored that's just a couple existing!!!

what makes me even sicker is that they called it "boys love" instead of just. gay. that's so incredibly infantalizing!! it almost feels dehumanizing!!! I would have been less mad if they were more honest and just said "fags ahead" instead of boys love. god.

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

my assessment of the whole slur thing is that the misunderstanding of reclamation and the inherent antiblackness of it is at the center of it but it also piles up with this desire by misguided kids and adults as well whose interaction with the "community" has been either short lived or non existant outside of online spaces that they perceive to be replacement of like irl interactions because idk how else to explain that they keep trying to draw these very clear lines about the history of words about who gets to use them as if it came with like being gay and like its really never been sth organized in the way that a political history might draw it as these tightly knitted groups that always agreed on everything like how could you think that when dyke fag marica puto lencha etc have been used against bisexual and trans people no matter the gender consistently as well as any other fucking slur is interchangeable when it really comes down to putting us down and then there's terfs and then there's white bitches always putting whiteness and comfort and capital over a "community" like idk how there's so fucking much time for the right words for every single thing when like community has never meant just words it's like action, it's alive, it changes and its supposed to recognize its actual history like what reality are these kids living in when they can say stupid shit like wlw can't say the words used against them or the ones that historically have also identified them because they fucking wished for it and at the same time say that queer has been successfully reclaimed when people from the fucking community specially elders have said that it makes them uncomfortable like do these kids just don't think anyone older than them exists with maybe literature to read like wtf is the internet for if these kids come as stupid as we did when running away from home at 16 and crashing into the nearest gay place everybody talked abut in whispers like progress where progress where if they keep trying to draw nonsensical lines about things that have always felt so cruelly ephemeral and that we must cherish or else no one will, families get made and they break and some others get to be reunited and others face endless violence and others get chances and still don't get to succeed and people still come and go like tell me in what world does it make for a static community whose lines cannot be redrawn to give space for more people to come and go in the hopes they grow like idk what im saying im like so fucking tired of idiotic takes that don't appreciate the nuance of the life given specially when it comes to the infinite ways lgbteeeeees have found to express ourselves in the world like fuck the gift of being seen should mean more openness more attention to the history of where we came and what fucking multiple meanings can be derived from sth yes even violence that for our time in this earth is still what most people will get like that should be space for more kindness more listening god....

[petrichorvoices]

What your doing right now is GOALS. Great job y'all

THANK YOUUUUU THIS GIVES US THE PERFECT EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT OUR DAY

ok so pride. holy fucking shit. this was our first pride and it was INCREDIBLE. we were completely decked out with like, half binder, skirt & suspenders, sweatpants rolled up. we had a ton of pins, we had all our jewelry. we stayed up last night drawing pride flags and trans symbols and lyrics all over us, and we still had them today

we got to be in the parade. we got to be in the parade!!!! we were with our uni, we rode on the back of a car, it was incredible. we had an ace flag we were carrying and by far our favourite part of the parade was noticing people with ace flags, waving ours at them, and them waving theirs back at us. we ended up crying during the parade, because holy shit, look at all these people, look at how loudly queer we all are

there were so many incredible people there. we found an aspec group in the city, so we're going to check them out. we saw a group of people in leather and rubber and this one guy had a fucking awesome rubber tail, it moved in such a neat way

there was a festival at the end of the parade, and at the entrance of it there was a pair of religious dudes being all bigoted, so we joined some other people in drowning them out with stuff like "Jesus was trans, you heard it here!"

from there we managed to find our friend {we met him yesterday, she's so fucking cool, and they might end up being our fourth roommate since her roommate is kinda bigoted}, and we walked around for a while. we got some flags!!!! gods it was SO hard to find a gay man flag, literally only one booth had it. but we got a big genderqueer flag, we got a genderqueer sticker for our laptop, it was great

inside this building they had it set up as the wellness centre, so they had a bunch of information on STIs and drug use and whatnot. they were giving out like, free condoms, dental dams, etc, they even had free STI testing right then and there. there was some group there surveying gay men for sexual health awareness or whatever and we got ten bucks out of it which was great

after pride we went grocery shopping for basics, stuff like milk and eggs, and we were perhaps too comfortable walking around the grocery store with "fag" written on our leg but a bunch of other people from pride were there too. afterwards we went home, our friend cooked some stuff, we just hung out for a bit, and now he's on his way back to her place and we're writing this post

it really makes us so incredibly happy that we're here and being who we've always wanted to be, who we know we are. we get to be loud and proud and confident!!!! we're having an incredible time so far and we're excited to be here

[wastelandimperiatrix]

A little zine I made while reflecting on being emo in my teens, and the subculture around it. yes i was listening to mcr while writing it

Transcript

Page 1: Emo, for the outcasts by Aelphaba Sweetbriar. The cover is scrawled in ballpoint pen messily, with a small drawing of a razor blade, emphasized in red crayon.

Page 2: No one likes being a social reject, it feels like ass (ass is in all capitals). There is a red lightning bolt scrawled in crayon.

Page 3: Wheres the relief? When you are young, different from your peers, alienated. (alienated is in capital letters).

Page 4: Don't get me started on all the emotions raging inside you. (in all capitals, "raging inside you" is written in red).

Page 5: "that's so gay" "do you like, cut yourself then?" "you'll grow out of it" "fucking fags". Different parts of the text are emphasized in red.

Page 6: So, you put your armour on. They can't hurt you then. There is an image of a safety pin with a red shadow.

Page 7: You keep yourself alive (written in red) through music. There is an image of a heart shaped vinyl record, the song inscribed on it is 'Helena' by MCR

Page 8: They can't hurt you if you've already hurt yourself. If they knew how you felt. There is an image of several red lines, dripping down the page.

Page 9: Being queer without knowing there wasn't something wrong with you. Image of a small rainbow.

Page 10: Or being Neurodiverse and feeling like a sack of shit because you can never catch up no matter how hard you try. Image of the neurodiversity infinity symbol.

Page 11: Finding out there are others like you, feels like the biggest relief (relief is in all capitals and written in red crayon).

...because for the first time, you're not alone. (written in all caps, in red)

Page 12: And that means more than anything. There is a brief chat log, "It hurts" "I know, please don't cut yourself" "for you, anything"

Page 13: When you've been an outcast your whole life. There is a sad face with x's for eyes, crying.

Page 14: So no, its not a phase (written in red)

Page 15: It's about accepting you are a fuck up and throwing it in the face of those who would throw it against you.

Page 16: Fuck off preps, written in red capitals, with a drawing of someone sticking their middle finger up.