#I AM SO ANXIOUS ABOUT THE ENDING
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Okay so idk if someone has said it but?? There are still two scenes from the trailer we haven't seen, one where they're at the beach and one where Kawi is in his old room, all alone and sad.
And yk how some timelines have paralleled each other?? like when Kawi asks Pisaeng why he likes him and Pisaeng says because he's cute, so what if in this timeline in order to protect Kawi, Pisaeng will leave? And Kawi will go find him in the same beach where Pisaeng eloped to in the famous!Kawi arc?
#be my favorite#Bmf Kawi#Pisaeng#Be my favorite the series#Kawi Pisaeng#PisaengKawi#PiKawi#I AM SO ANXIOUS ABOUT THE ENDING#BUT KRIST SAID IT'S HIS FAVORITE EPISODE SO I'M SO
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He’ll be ‘right
Ghoultober Day 11 - Injury
#kaneki ken#touka kirishima#tokyo ghoul#ghoultober#touken#my art#I’ve been excited to post this one!!!!!!#last one had issues with taking photos but this time I did just end up late bc the colouring took so long#now I know about Jonestown and am anxious about flying on a Boeing plane.#next time I’ll be on time for the prompt I prommy 🙏
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sooooooo when i jokingly said to myself "haha did ruan mei play aeonic necromancy on tingyun's remains or something" i wasn't expecting that to literally be the case what the fuck
#ON ONE HAND! TINGYUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ON THE OTHER! HELLO???????????????????????????????????#that was a really good update . a little clunky in those transitions sometimes but ooooh boy that came together GOOD#jiaoqiu nearly sent me into hysterics i was so upset . and flabbergasted. mostly flabbergasted#also the part where hoolay let him go for a little bit and you had the option to try asking for help#with severe consequences to be reaped afterwards. that was so nervewracking#i ended up doing it once out of curiosity and immediately regretted it and was horribly anxious the rest of the time i was running around#and yeah those consequences sure do. Consequence#props to the writers and stuff for that one that was great i felt ill#FEIXIAO... GOD FEIXIAOOOOO OHHHH BOY I LOVE HERRR what a great character#i hoped and i prayed and i dreamed for a deep dive into her condition and not a vague gloss-over as hyv loves to do AND I GOT IT#moze didn't do enough tricks (aka just . being a part of the story and interacting with other characters) for me to care about him still#it's like#the yaoqing trio: yay yahoo yippee WOOOO YAYYYY#moze by himself: closes my eyes forever#DO MORE TRICKS FOR ME#lingsha's pretty cool. i will save her from her bad design#oh oh oh YANQING!!!!!!!!!! USING WHAT JINGLIU TAUGHT HIM AND IMMOBILIZING HOOLAY ALL BY HIMSELF!!!!!! OH YM GOD#MY LITTLE BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#that cutscene was terrifying i almost died of stress . i'm so proud of you yanqing. never do that again#i had fun and now it's 3 am and i have work in the morning. help me
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wanna bug Toji soooo bad while he’s on the phone. his ass doesn’t have a job so it’s not like he’s discussing important business, but he likes to make it look that way. phone tucked between his shoulder and ear as he uses one hand to rub circles on your exposed thigh, the other flipping through the tv channels. he’s speaking in a low tone, his eyebrows mused together in agitation as he calls the guy on the other line a barrage of insulting names.
and you’re just a simple person—the man looks hot as fuck like that and you just have to bother him. so you do, despite the side eye he gives you when you swing your leg over, foot in the air, right in his face. he swats you away gently before going back to his phone call, bites at your toes when you still try to wiggle them in his face.
"If you think you can lowball me like that, then you're stupider than I thought." Toji grunts to the other man on the phone, distracted once more. a little peeved that his attention isn't on you much anymore, you do what any little conniving imp would do.
you sit on his lap. backwards, facing the TV, looking over your shoulder at him with such an evil little grin that it makes his eyes squint to you in warning. but you've never listened much, especially when you know you'll be rewarded so plentifully in the end.
so you rock your hips, just slightly the first few times. your legs sat on either side of him, hands resting in the space between his legs on the bed, leaning your weight back on his hips that you sit against. instantly, you can feel the swell of him beneath his sweats, feel the thickness that you love to fill you up start to twitch when you circle your hips, grinding them oh so slowly against his covered cock.
when you look over your shoulder again, Toji only stares, the slightest lilt of his lip turning up at the corners. he tries to act unbothered, one arm bent back to rest his head against, the other holding the phone to his ear. but you can see through him, and feel just how bothered he really is.
so you up the ante; start to lift and drop your hips slow, slow, slow at first before the pace begins to build. you lean forward on your elbows, pull your underwear up until the curve of your ass is exposed, gasping from the friction, from the feeling of his cock rubbing so sweetly at your slit through the thin cotton.
you look over your shoulder once more, grinning, biting at your lip as you grind against him, close to completion. he can see it all in your eyes.
"Gonna call you back later. Got some important shit to take care of right now." Toji hangs up without preamble, gaze distant as he focuses on the ever growing spot of your arousal that starts to leak onto his own sweats.
but you're a little minx, with the way you scramble from his grasp before he can catch you, laughing when he snags your ankle to drag you back down. he's suddenly kneeling over you, grin sharp and ferocious, the straining of his cock through his sweats hanging so intimidatingly low, that if you lift your hips just a little, his tip would kiss your clit in the sweetest kiss.
"And where do you think you're going, you little brat?" Toji growls, dropping down to nip at the base of your neck, licking over your pulse point.
"Not letting me off the hook that easy, huh?" you tease, hands splayed beside your head in surrender, just wanting a little bit of the chase before the devouring. and by the look in his eyes, you know you'll only be bones by morning.
"Not in a million years." he promises right before the inevitable pounce.
#hello all 🧍🏽♀️#my head is hurty and I feel nauseous so I think I will take some sleeping pills and lay down 👍🏽#also think I might finally finish that fic for him tomorrow#but no promises bc I sometimes get Tired#also thinking about starting coms in late June#bc my semester ends in a few days and I have surgery scheduled after that so I’ll be down for a bit#but I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to still sit in bed and write so hopefully all goes well!!!#I set up my kofi but I chickened out of posting it here bc I am Anxious#about Everyrhinf#rambling sorry I hope u guys like this I’m obsessed with this man#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#toji treats! 🍬
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I wasn't gonna make an Indigo Park oc but then I started thinking about the theme park I went to as a kid and I got the idea of a beaver running a ride based on water flumes like Logger's Run or Splash Mountain :3
They're also based on wildlife education characters like Smokey the Bear and Ranger Rick!
#indigo park#indigo park oc#id imagine their ride would be close to Oceanic Odyssey so theyd be good friends with Finley :)#they also 100% sound like Velma Dinkley#this design was so fun to work on tho#and doing research on similar characters unearthed some Core Memories#like I completely forgot about Ranger Rick!!!#i used to love reading those and national geographic whenever I found an issue :)#i like to think theyre a really anxious character that tries to prepare for everything#but then their worrying causes things to go wrong#but somehow they manage to narrowly escape it every time#the name took a bit bc i wanted to name them after a tree but none of them sounded right#i almost went with Bramble but Baylee sounded better to me and wasnt as similar to Rambley#also their ride is based on Logger's Run from Michigan Adventure my beloved <3#theres a little storyline about needing to transport the logs to fix a dam thats about to burst#and at the end you save the day and are rewarded with an honorary Ranger Badge! (sold separately)#anyways thats all i love them thx#i played a lot with overlays too i think it turned out pretty cool :)#i am not immune to cute art style and fun character design#also i remembered to sign my art for once lol#spacebug does art
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it's taken me talking to 1 person for like... 3 minutes to come to the conclusion imma remake this blog. i got wicked into the hype and allure when the game dropped and leapt headfirst in without thinking. bit off way more than i can chew with moots and that's okay! this isn't against anyone, but i've sort of been reminded why i keep to myself. sooo... just a heads up. i'm gonna be changing url etc when i move. it's for my meager sanity. 🫡
#update.#ooc. i am the end of everything.#( idk man... i suddenly feel like in on stage in my underwear#a whole lot of eyes on me#i'll be doing this tonight#i've been having fun but i'm too...#idk anxious? about so many people in my sphere#i am but a lil guy )
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it
#ria.txt#i spoiled myself so at first i was like 'this is bonkers wtf are they doing in those last few chapters?????'#but then it was like. yeah. i see#love those ch when it's just clearly putting the squad into Situations#also. izutsumi#what i really liked was how tightly the protagonist and the deuteragonist were wound up in the overall themes#the plot the themes the conflict the characters it was very neatly connected#hence i am also now accidentally invested in whatever going on between laios and marcille#not just platonic not romantic not enemies i just think they work well tgt and deeply care for each other its great watching them develop#it's the leader + most trusted advisor / anxious girlfailure + the annoying freak she's somehow attached to vibes#haha that rabbit chapter with marcille. hahha i was like what the fuck man. it was funny and then boom whump [tears streaming down my face]#those shapeshifter chs were sooo much fun esp seeing other chara's perceptions of each other. stealing that#the changeling ones were great too elf senshi is the fucking funniest he looks sooooooo unserious#marcille's evolving perception with death starting with saving falin and saving the squad and her nightmares of outliving everyone-#-and her dad and her 'temper tantrum' and UGH when at the end she said she was fine with falin not coming back.... WAAA. OUGH.#i think dunmeshi handled the trope of 'prophecy of chosen one becoming king' pretty well and it makes sense why laios is the protag#the worldbuilding is so thoughtful as well i liked seeing different characters with different worldviews interact#very solid and well rounded series wooo#the main 4 has such a fun dynamic together#anyways. dunmeshi au.....#more like borrowing the worldbuilding bc charas are too nuanced for a one to one comparison#ren is like some prince of his own species but he's like 34th in line and no one cares about him so he fucks off to eat monsters#which is why he's both snobbish AND a total freak when it comes to his food taste#false is originally in for the money from ren and plans to scam him but unfortunately the cringefail swag captures her#martyn is Obnoxiously Clueless and thinks he's smart but he's not. he's resourceful but also pathetic and crazy#stress cant cook but she thinks she does so everyone goes (≖_≖ ) when she picks up a pot. they delegate her to killing and chopping duty#the mvp is iskall who keeps on saving everyone's asses and somehow has resources for everyone#i think ren is actually aware false is going to scam him but he has too much money to spend anyway and he thinks shes cool so he lets her??#and somehow she doesnt take the money and run. and goes back to eating monsters w/ the party. everyone is crazy
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I fucked up
#Is it socially acceptable to write a comment to a fic that is longer than the fic 😭😭😭#Is it socially acceptable to write a comment that is longer than the 10000 ao3 character limit 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I'm so so embarrassed right now. This is why I've been struggling to write comments for a year now.#It's because every time I really like a fic I end up with an essay that takes hours to days to make#I'm so sorry to all the authors I've neglected commenting because of this I swear I'll try to do better in the future.#But right now I'm miserably failing. Man I put myself in a mess#Can someone please reassure me on this I'm feeling really insecure and I don't want to make the author uncomfortable.#Or genuinely tell me it's too much if it's too much#Fun fact the first comment I've ever written I was 16 and never ended up commenting because it breached the character limit too.#And 16 me was too much of an anxious mess to post it. And I probably still am#I'm so sorry ray/emma actors au fic I loved you so much.#Please don't ask what the fic is it's a relatively old one and this is already wholly embarrassing by its own for me#But to give you an idea of the proportions I'm talking about a 3k+ comment for a 2k fic ಥ_ಥ#random rambles#To all the authors my lack of self control has kept me from commenting to their fics: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm
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"As excited as I am to have everyone see Kathy Bates deliver another incredible performance, I'm excited for people to be introduced- who don't already know how incredible Skye is." (x)
"I am having the time of my life and Jason Ritter keeps me laughing more than any human being on the planet." (x)
#matlock cbs#matlock reboot#jason ritter#skye p. marshall#listen i rarely watch tv and i HATE that the shows i make gifs of are cbs and prime(FUCK them for supporting genocide)#i just love jason skye david and leah in their employed eras#i want them to have multiple seasons and steady jobs#also i love julian and olympia's chemistry and anyone who know me knows i like exes who may or may not still have feelings for each other#i like that they are TRYING to stay civil and friendly and it seems like there is still love there(i see those smiles and stares)#sorry to elijah(he's pretty) but i prefer this trope to secret office romance(but also they were close friends!!!)#i think julian is covering up for his dad and that's why there's been such tension in his in olympia's marriage but idk#also the fact that jason is not credited in the last episode makes me anxious about something happening to him#maybe i'm wrong and julian was the one who unalived the daughter?(i kind of have a jason ritter bias and am HOPING he's not bad)#i love how in sync jason and skye are and how they seem to share similar humor?#conversely julian and elijah also seem in sync and have chemistry#they should just be a throuple /j#whether this is purely a friendship or ends up being a rekindled romance i'm here for it#wait this show has more than 12 episodes? maybe i'm not worried about him after all#i wanted jason and skye to share scenes as soon as i heard they were cast and to have them be somewhat friendly exes is such a gift to me#there was another interview where skye called jason her emotional support human#also love how happy he is for her whenever she says that this is her cinderella moment#the fact that he seems (jokingly)disappointed that julian fumbled olympia is so funny to me#''fumbled that somehow...''#''YOU LET HER GOT AWAY???'' ''i KNOW! i don't know how...''
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the funniest thing that always happens to me is that every time we have a customer who doesn't speak polish and they ask me if i speak english i'm like "no, i don't think i do" only to realize a few minutes later that i do, in fact, speak english
#maybe it's because i'm just always super anxious about my skills#or maybe it's the fact that it barely happens so i don't have many opportunities to talk to people in english#so when somebody asks me about it i'm always like “um i do speak english but just a little”#and yet here i am running a fucking blog where i write a lot of shitposts every single day#all of them in english#it's so funny to me cause obviously no one knows this#and i had a customer today and he bought diamond earrings for his girlfriend and our entire conversation was in english#and he even complimented me at the end which was very nice#and my manager was like “oh you speak english? i only understood him when he said bye bye” LMAO#YES LOOKS LIKE I DO SPEAK ENGLISH AFTER ALL#jdsfjewhif i'm sorry i never really talk about this but today i feel like i want to#like every single time i have a conversation in english i'm so fucking proud of myself for being brave enough to speak another language#in front of a stranger#i know i make a lot of mistakes but still#i'm always so fucking proud of myself. for no reason. i just am#anyway the guy was really nice and i guess it's safe to say he made my day#which doesn't happen very often i usually hate my customers#so yeah#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
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Vent post
#ignore me lol#vent post#I am feeling extremely angry and frustrated and alienated#like of course I'm demotivated when I point out injustice and literally everyone just shrugs at me and tells me to get over it#“what are we gonna do about it”#put any thought into it whatsoever for starters#idk I want to give up#the same bitches that tell me not to kill myself are the same ones to vote my rights away#I hate living#I don't even get validation from participating in fan content anymore#im just anxious and feeling rejected all the time#except for like five very specific moots on here#but then I feel like a fucking failure for not knowing how to socialize or show them that I care without being weird and ugh#idk i'm tired#I feel like I put all this energy into making myself acceptable for everyone else and I go out of my way to be positive and compassionate#and then I get fuckall in return#post election blues ig#here's hoping I don't end up under a bridge#I think I would be a vastly different (better) person if everyone around me wasn't a bunch of complacent#selfish#wet blankets.#I'm getting really tired of being treated like I'm crazy for expecting better.#I can't talk to anyone because I don't want to hear that I need to get over it or that everything will be fine#it doesn't help or mean anything#things just get harder and harder and I'm just waiting around#I'm so srs if you read this far don't try to tell me nice things#im in an evil caustic mood and I will just continue pouring negativity in return
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my favorite thing about the arcane season 2 release is how my boyfriend is now once again victim to my endless yapping about viktor.
like at 2am I'll start with "hey, do you think Viktor [insert something absolutely unimportant to any plot]?"
and with a sigh he'll answer "yes, i guess that makes sense." and then i just don't stop ever. i'm going through the roof. i need more, i need the next 3 episodes, i need to inject that shit into my veins.
i'm cautiously hopeful about the changes they made to the character, because i think there's lots of potential, since there's still 6 episodes left and a lot can happen there? allowing myself a non-anon ask as a treat because i'm foaming at the mouth
I have the exact opposite problem because I have absolutely no one to talk about arcane with besides on here so I am just in my cage. in my padded cell. talking to myself in my notes app and making tons of posts of my thoughts that I just keep to my drafts because I don't want to spam the dash. with ten posts at a time. that are all different variants of: "viktor arcane please save me"
#I have one friend I play league with and I talked with him about arcane a bit#but this friend believes I am normal#I cannot. show my demons#he's like 'oh yah it was kinda cool when viktor did this'#I'm like oh yes#totally normal about this character btw#as more time had passed I've exited my super critical stage#now I'm just excited to see him lol#although I will still be really sad if we lose the machine herald entirely...#my theory is still that he's gonna become the machine herald at the very end#it would also be fun if renata showed up#because she has some voice lines talking about how her money is what viktor used to become the machine herald#and she came out after arcane s1 so. surely. won't be retconned#so excited for the next 3 episodes but at the same time I'm so anxious I could curl into a ball and lay there unmoving#for several hours#ask mags
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#Hmm. I'm expecting to get fired by the end of this year#You would think that i should feel more anxious about not having a job and no backup plan#I mean. I am#But at the same time. This job just *screech*#So like. It doesn't feel like a huge loss despite the obvious bad consequences#Maybe i haven't truly felt the regret yet but meh#“At least i still have the whole commission stuffs”#Not really. My art skills barely improves. I would say. It's slowly getting worse#I mostly just doodle to satisfy...st inside me?#And usually people would chat with me through twitter#But twitter kept logging me out and i have like...3 accounts for 3 seperate things i'm into#And combine with both my shitty memory and un-diagnosed ADHD...#I barely bother keeping up with any social media cuz' i'm already feel so socially tired just from making 3 irl sentences#I wish i could like...voice this out loud but last time i did#Gosh...their condescending tone just haunt me
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knowing (as I now do) that it may not last…
I am DETERMINED to enjoy every
single
second
of being pregnant!!!!
#I wasted so much time last time feeling intensely anxious and scared#the window of joy was so so small!!!#and maybe this window of joy will be so small too I don’t know#there’s so much more waiting—waiting for the blood test results to come back / waiting for the 48 hour second blood test#waiting for the six week ultrasound to find out if it’s ectopic again#but gosh I am going to let myself be happy#if the bad things come they will come I can’t do a single thing to stop them!!!#so in the meantime#I am going to let myself look at baby furniture and think about names and fret about daycare#and I am going to love this baby!!!!!#instead of being scared to even think of it as my baby until it was ending!!#IUI tag
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Yo, friendo What's the best way to consume these funny doomed men I keep seeing?
( Didn't mean it literality, but I can't help but think that the answer is with spice )
depends on which ones!! there are two series I've been posting about a lot, both by the same author: SVSSS and MDZS!
Scum Villain's Self-Saving System/SVSSS is a book series, and you can read it physically (which I did through my local library for the first two books) or online on the Internet Archive or Anna's Archive (which I did for the last two books when I got too impatient to wait on my holds). It also has a ten episode long donghua called Scumbag System that covers most of the first book and it's terrible (affectionate). You can find that one on youtube or most anime pirating sites. In short summary, SVSSS is about a terminally online dude getting isekai'd into the villain of a webnovel he absolutely hates, and in his attempt to avoid the villain's horrible death he sends the story completely off the rails. It's unhinged, hilarious, and everyone in the series is a complete freak <3 It's only four books long (three of which are the main plot and the fourth is extras)
MDZS/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation is also a book series by the same author! Similarly, you can check your public library or the Internet Archive and Anna's Archive. It also has a donghua (which I haven't watched) and a wildly successful live action drama called The Untamed (which is how I initially got into the series!). The Untamed is available on Netflix and Youtube and probably other places. It does make some significant changes due to censorship reasons and it is extremely cheesy, but I enjoy it. If you want more classical tragedy, I'd say start with The Untamed, and if you want more gay necromancy shenanigans, I'd say start with the books! In short summary, it's about the life and death and second life of Wei Wuxian as he goes from war hero to widely reviled necromancer, and it's quite fun. The book series is five books long, and The Untamed is 50 episodes long. I have a character guide for that one if you need it because the names do get confusing!
#asks#anonymous#also i love your note about consuming them literally sldkjfkdlsjf#with spice tracks#or perhaps in some kind of hearty soup#i shouldn't be answering this on the lab computer but i was feeling anxious and this ask made me smile#but yeah please check out these funny doomed men !!#both series are very fun#i think svsss is my current favorite bc it is just SO unhinged#no one is doing it like the freaks in that series#but the characters of mdzs still frequently make me experience agonies#i am never immune to tragic siblings and OH BABY THE SIBLINGS IN THAT ONE#both series have a healthy mix of comedy and tragedy#i would say the balance it tipped more towards tragedy for mdzs and more towards comedy for svsss#but they contain both#though when i say mdzs involves tragedy i should specify it does have a happy ending!#just uh. a pretty unhappy middle. you'll see#both series are also explicitly gay#well they had to censor the untamed but the yearning is still extremely obvious#but yeah they're both BL series#this is getting long. if you check either of them out please update me!!!
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