#I AM FREAKING OUT PLEASE TELL ME IM NOT BEING DELUSIONAL

[hey-there-hunter]

Crowley's wings are already darker at the beginning of time when he covers aziraphale from fire.

I repeat

cROWLEY'S WINGS AREN'T PURE WHITE, THEY ARE GREY, WHEN HE COVERS AZIRAPHALE

[teddy-yandere]

Hi can i request hawks x reader 📣🔥💋 (im not sure if you write for bnha hawks if not then its fine)

Prompts 📣🔥💋

“Gosh, you smell so good when we cuddle like this!”

“You think I’m jealous? Believe me, you haven’t seen me jealous yet.”

“I desire any physical touch with you so please hit me more.”

⚠️WARNING⚠️ will contain dark themes

A / N = Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I did not proofread this. Please read my bio before requesting, and make sure that my requests are open or else your request will be deleted. Enjoy <3

«★»———- Yandere Prompt List

«★»———- MHA Hero’s Masterlist

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★ You had just arrived home from a night out in the city with Hawks. In fact , this was the “ first time “ that you had been out in public since Hawks had kidnapped you. Hawks made sure to take you to a LOWKEY bar a couple of cities away from where he originally took you . That way you would have a less chance of being identified , and taken from Hawks

★ You angrily sat the bouquet of flowers that Hawks gave you on the counter. Honestly , Hawks didn’t know why you were so mad at him. The only thing that he did was “ protect “ you against the creepy people at the bar. Yeah sure , he might if broke a couple of jaws , but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Hawks didn’t know why you were acting so dramatic over such a small thing that he did in your honor. ( technically )

★ Suddenly , Hawks snapped out of his deep thoughts when he noticed that you were glaring at him from the other side of the counter. “ What is bothering you my little feather ?” Hawks asked in the nonchalant voice that he always seemed to have. “ I can’t believe you acted like that IN PUBLIC “ , you said with a sharp tone to your voice. “ Maybe if you weren’t so jealous , I would actually enjoy being with you “ you added to your statement. You knew that this would set Hawks off , but you didn’t seem to care one bit.

★ Hawks sighed as he tried to explain why he broke that man’s jaw. Just as he was in the middle of explaining why his actions were justifiable, you interrupted by saying = “ There is no reason for you to act like this you jealous freak “. Before you could even finish your sentence, Hawks walked very close to you , before finally saying “You think I’m jealous? Believe me, you haven’t seen me jealous yet.”

★ Hawks stared at you for a moment longer , before finally saying “ I am going to go finish off that person from the bar “. No matter how hard you tried to pull him back , or change his mind , you found that it was like talking to a wall. That being said , Hawks flew over to the bar , and luckily the person who was hitting on you was still there. Let’s just say they had a funeral planned the next weekend….

★ When Hawks returned home , you could tell what he had done by just looking at him. You immediately started crying when Hawks started to make his way towards you. Once he was in front of you , he slowly picked you up , and took you to the couch where he attempted to snuggle into your arms. You tried to push him off of you by insulting him , but you found that it was no use. Every single time you hit him , he would always respond with the same thing = “I desire any physical touch with you so please hit me more.”

★ Eventually you gave up on trying to fight him. You had also just come to the realization that Hawks would probably never let you leave the house again. The last thing you heard before you fell asleep was Hawks softly whispering “Gosh, you smell so good when we cuddle like this!” You knew that you were stuck with him whether you liked it or not .

★ Maybe you should’ve flirted , and danced with the other person at the bar …? Like that would make any difference to a delusional Hawks..

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Thanks for reading , Darling !! <3

Have a nice Day / Night ~

[ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal]

Don’t ever tell yourself that you’re not enough, I am certain that you’re truly fine

PART FIVE

Ot8 x reader

Word Count: 812

Just a warning, this is my first fanfic! Does have age regression themes so if you’re not a fan, I ask that you respectfully just don’t read <3 also this will definitely have some angst

!THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION!

Days passed and everytime you hung out with them, they seemed more affectionate than usual.

“Is something going on?” You asked suddenly after Seungmin wrapped a fluffy blanket around you the second you sat down on the couch.

The guys look at eachother as if silently communicating then Seungmin chuckles a bit and playfully scoffs. “There is nothing going on,” he says, not being able to make up an excuse otherwise.

You look at Seungmin curiously, not believing him for a second. “All of you have me basically catering to my every need for days now.”

“Oh please, you’re just delusional,” Seungmin tries to play it off, crossing his arms over his chest.

Looking at the guys again, you notice Felix avoiding eye contact. You look at him for a few more seconds before trying to get information from him, knowing he would most likely be the person to tell you the truth. “Lixie? Is there something that y’all aren’t telling me?”

Before Felix can open his mouth, Changbin speaks. “Oh I can’t take it anymore. This is eating me alive!” He says dramatically, before turning to you “We know about your age regression.”

Your face drops in shock with his sudden outburst, hearing Han, Seungmin, Hyunjin and Chris give Changbin a collective “really dude”.

“How…” seems to be the only thing you could say, your eyes looking between each of the guys.

Chris clears his throat before explaining quietly as if he is scared for the outcome of his sentence, “the other night… the night you wanted to leave suddenly… you showed signs of being a little…” He trails off, looking at you genuinely.

“Before you say anything or try to deny it, we think it’s cute.” Hyunjin says quickly, his eyes wide to try and get his point across.

Felix looks at Hyunjin and chuckles, “Hyung, if you keep looking at her like that, you’ll probably freak her out.” He says, trying to lighten the situation, causing a few of the guys to chuckle.

“I-I just… how do you guys know what that is? Or how to look for signs of it?” You ask, curious how they all caught on.

“The old guy knows about it… but don’t ask him how because it’s the most depressing story you’ll ever hear!” Seungmin explains, causing Chris to playfully shove him, saying a quick “it’s not depressing… and im not old!”

You look at Chris, as if observing him. A part of you always seen Chris as some type of caregiver, but now you don’t know if he knows about it in that sense or if he is possibly a little himself. “I want to know the story…” You blurt out, wanting to know the explanation which causes seungmin to playfully groan.

So Chris explains, and your eyes soften as he does. “You were a caregiver to littles online who didn’t have one because you always wanted to be a caregiver?” You ask softly, causing Seungmin to say “See! Depressing!”

“After Hyung told us about how he suspected you as a little, we wanted to learn how to be a caregiver,” Minho speaks up, his eyes looking at you softly. “We wanted you to feel comfortable around us enough so if you ever wanted or needed to regress… you can.”

This explanation makes you tear up. Knowing the guys went out their way to want to learn how to properly be a caregiver… no one has ever done that before. “You wanted to do that… for me?” You ask, your voice just above a whisper.

“We would move mountains for you, Sunbeam, if it meant seeing you carefree and happy.” Felix reassured you, smiling gently.

The petname made you blush, your cheeks now covered a pinkish red. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you guys.”

“Okay, back up!” Han says, standing up from the couch. “Why hasn’t anyone informed me of this information?!?! Where was I when all of you had this important discussion of our princess?” He expresses playfully, though he is very serious.

The guys looks at one another, forgetting to tell Han any of this. “In our defense, you were sleeping next to her when we talked about it!” Jeongin informs, raising his hands up defensively.

“Wait, Hannie, you didn’t know? Then why were you so affectiante with me as well?” You ask curiously.

Han’s mouth pratcially drops in shock, “I am always affectionate with you!” He says in a desperate voice. “You’re my whole world, I always treat you like you’re the most delicate thing in the world!”

“Okay, yeah you make a good point.” I say, chuckling a bit.

Changbin stands up and goes to crouch infront of you, looking up at you. “Since the cat is now out the bag… maybe now you can help us know how to properly take care of you.”

TAGLIST: @puppyminnnie

[alonetimelover]

pairing: Andrew Garfield x actress!reader (fc: Florence Pugh)

summary: Actress, YN YSN is spotted at the park with Andrew Garfield. It was one time, but the fans and detectives on the Internet know better, don't they? It all comes to the small details and then big articles.

masterlist taglist another andrew post

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andrewgarfieldupdates

liked by andrewgarfieldlasagna and 19 302 others

andrewgarfieldupdates ANDREW and YN YSN spotted together on a walk in YN's hometown!!

view all 3 392 comments

andrewspiderman we haven't seen him in a while and that's how he decided to show up????

⤷ andrewsmylove idont think he planned on being seen

ynupdates after all those years of yn praising andrew for his work, it's good to see that she got to meet him

ynshands well, I could really seen them together

⤷ user49 isn't he like much older than her?

⤷ ynsmymama she's an adult, he's too. i think they can make their own decisions

user93 im so here for it!

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ynupdates

liked by ynsmymama, andrewgarfieldupdates and 14 492 others

ynupdates MORE OF YN AND ANDREW out in her hometown!!!!

view all 2 201 comments

ynsmymama the second photo the second photo the second photo

ynsmybestie OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

andrewgarfieldlasagna i love to see it, they're so cuuuuuute

ynshands my parents, im just going to put that out there now

andrewspiderman love it! absolutely perfectly looking couple (i hope so, at least)

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ynsmymama

liked by ynupdates, andrewgarfieldlasagna and 18 301 others

ynsmymama please tell me im not the only one who heard ANDREW FREAKING GARFIELD in the background of tonight's 'cooking with YNN'... RIGHT? like the moment after she was like 'where the hell are wooden spoons in this kitchen?' and then 'im sorry guys, im not in my usual set up. for today im using my friend's kitchen' AND RIGHT THERE YOU CAN HEAR HIM 'they are right behind you, next to the stove, love'. RIGHT? IT WAS HIM?! or am I delusional?

view all 1 302 comments

ynupdates I think so too!!

andrewgarfieldupdates it did sound like andrew, especially the 'love'

andrewsmylove i can recognise that bitches voice anywhere. if i ever heard andrew, that was andrew. and let me tell you, I've heard andrew.

⤷ andrewbtch i love your confidence

ynshands they are sooo together

⤷ user87 cannot they be friends?

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andrewandyn

liked by ynupdates, andrewgarfieldupdates and 25 302 others

andrewandyn YN AND ANDREW behind the stage of their Oscar's announcing duty!!!

view all 2 402 comments

ynupdates oh, she looked so beautiful

ynsmymama okay, it's been more than a year since we've seen them together for the first time. they are together, right?

⤷ andrewsmylove right??? it's been 1,5 years

ynsmybestie the way she looks at him, LOVE EYES

andrewsbaby find yourself someone that looks at you the way yn looks at andrew

ynshands why is nobody talking about the way HE look AT HER??? the way he was helping her up and down those stairs, keeping his hand on he rower back?? the check-ins, whispering in her ear??? im goooone

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andrewgarfieldupdates

liked by ynupdates, andrewgarfieldlasagna and 34 492 others

andrewgarfieldupdates ANDREW AND YN SPOTTED IN LONDON !!! SHE'S PREGNANT, YOU GUYS

view all 3 302 comments

ynupdates that's why we didn't see yn in the last couple of months!!!!

⤷ ynshands i was getting really worried out here

andrewgarfieldlasagna MILF & DILF THATS FREAKING RIGHT

ynsmybestie they were waking right out of the hospital!!! probably a checkup or something

user45 andrew garfield a father? im so here for it

user92 can't wait to see the internet breaking

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celebrityupdates

liked by user45 and 103 492 others

celebrityupdates BREAKING NEWS Actress YN YSN went into labour at the parking lot outside of the grocery store. Her rumoured boyfriend, actor Andrew Garfield, accompanied her to the ambulance . People from the scene said it was a very dramatic and nerve-wracking experience for both parties (YN and Andrew and the watchers). For more photos from the scene and more insight, check our website!

view all 19 302 comments

ynupdates you should be disgusted by yourself 'dramatic and nerve-wracking'?! try getting into labour at the public place yourself, you moron

andrewgarfieldupdates two parents-to-be being scared to death and anxious and you're out here writing AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT?! are you out of your mind?

ynsmybestie you really cannot respect their privacy, can you?

andrewspiderman you really have nothing better to do?

user56 that's a new low for gossip magazines

user67 funny how your photographer was literally walking behind them, taking photos even though Andrew asked not to. I hope you'll face consequences

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andrewgarfieldupdates

liked by ynupdates, andrewspiderman and 12 201 others

andrewgarfieldupdates ANDREW walking to the hospital today's morning!

view all 1 101 comments

andrewspiderman he's driving a mini???

ynupdates I hope everything went smoothly and they welcomed a healthy baby!

ynsmybestie he looks so good but distressed

ynsmymama congratulations to two of my favourite people on earth

user45 aren't you the one being mad at the article about the labour?

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ynupdates

liked by andrewgarfieldupdates and 15 502 others

ynupdates YN VIA HER IG STORIES!!!

view all 2 303 comments

andrewgarfieldupdates ohhhhhhhh, i love them so much

ynsmymama she's the sweetest person on earth, even her remark on paps was light and gentle (i would take them to court or smt)

ynsmybestie i hope they can appreciate this time as parents to the fullest! it really is a magical time

ynsmybestie also, cannot wait to see her at the premiere!!!!

user45 i very much understand taking a break. i can't with people calling her selfish??? like, she just gave birth, has a newborn. of course she'd like to take a break!

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vanityfair

liked by yourinstagram, ynupdates and 341 201 others

vanityfair We are at the London premiere for Oppenheimer! The biggest appearance of the night (despite having a little to no screen time) was made by a new mom, YN YSN. YN welcomed her first child just two weeks ago, and today is her last day of work for the near future. 'Wanna spend time with my man and my baby,' said the actress during one of her on carpet interviews. But when one of the people asked her, 'Where did you leave your baby, aren't they just few weeks old?' Despite being told by her publicist to walk away, she accepted the question. 'My baby has a father that knows how to take care of them. Why are you bothered by a mother working or being away from her child for a few hours?' And we stand with this statement made by YN.

view all 10 301 comments

ynupdates I just knew someone was going to ask her that question. People really forget that some good part of newborn babies ha e a father or grandparents to take care of them when mum needs to work

⤷ user45 needs? she's an actress she can say no

⤷ ynupdates there is something called a contract where she is told what she is expected (needed) to do to get paid. being an actor is not only about acting but the promotion and more.

andrewspiderman THE MOTHERS THE MILF

andrewgarfieldupdates she looks sooooo good

ynsmymama i love her answer about hair 'why the drastic change? Well, it's easier to manage in the morning or in the middle of the night. also, my baby doesn't pull at them! a win win situation!' SO TRUEEEE !!! my little sister used to pull the shit out of my hair when she was a baby

ynsmybestie 'Andy, well, my partner, ah you already know about him!' the way she wanted to cover saying his name!!!

andrewspiderman absolute cutie

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a/n: I neglected my promise on making a fic for Andrew, so sorry. but i hope the wait was worth it??

[fayebear8709]

I HATE TIKTOK. I HATE IT.

i hate that very serious mental illness symptoms (intrusive thoughts and delusions specifically) have been sensationalized and have become mainstream terms to dramaticize mundane activities.

im sorry girl but your "intrusive thoughts" where you're just being impulsive are not intrusive thoughts. you have never had an intrusive thought in your life. intrusive thoughts are fucking TERRIFYING and make you question your morality because of them. intrusive thoughts aren't just "i burst out and said fart, the intrusive thoughts won!!!" No. shut the FUCK up, and tell me you wouldn't be terrified of me if i told you what my actual intrusive thoughts were (as a person with a chronic mental illness). intrusive thoughts are not some fun thing you can have to excuse your lack of impulse control. intrusive thoughts are not real, and are more often than not never acted on because.... they're thoughts that might directly contradict your belief system, your morals, or THE LAW. if you knew what intrusive thoughts were, you wouldn't want them sweetie.

people also love to say that they're being "delulu 😝🤭✨" SHUT UPPPP. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!! the man you are being helplessly lead on by and continuing to chase is not a "delusion"; you are willingly making bad decisions. i don't have as much experience with delusions as i do intrusive thoughts but there is LITERALLY mental health conditions related to delusions. your "delusions" are not real delusions. if you can point at yourself and say you're being delusional- hey, that's NOT a real delusion, that is you doing something even though you know it's helpless and you can see how irrational your actions are. actual delusional people are probably not aware that their reality is a delusion. (i'm not wholly educated and i'm mostly just ranting, so please correct me if i'm wrong).

can we also talk about how these terms have been adapted into our vernacular as typical things? because why did we suddenly grow to accept the term "delulu", and be ok with people saying "my intrusive thoughts won"? like these are serious symptoms of mental illness. why are we making them normal terms you freaks use in your every day, not-mentally-ill life?

im sorry babe but if my intrusive thoughts won i'd be on an FBI's most wanted list--and that is precisely the reason why intrusive thoughts are not typically acted on. i genuinely cannot believe that people glamorize these things.

my intrusive thoughts have ruined my life, and every day i am terrified of my thoughts and my own mind. you people don't understand that, and i'm honestly kind of offended that you think you do.

yes, i'm gatekeeping.

because why the fuck would you want to have a debilitating mental illness when you literally don't?

[vcrnons]

you have me intrigued about the dino dream

WHEJDJDHDH HELLO😭 ALL RIGHT SO HERE’S THE NIGHT DINO RUINED MY LIFE🫠🫠🫠

(i remember this entirely too vividly and that’s because sometimes i randomly think about it and it sends my entire day into a spiral, so im rly sorry for how long this is lmao) (writing this out has made me feel so incredibly delusional) (under the cut for length & also to prevent anyone who doesn’t want to be subjected to my dumb dream bs)

chan & i worked together and we were at some kind of a training day? type? thing? and i guess we must’ve been like passively flirty colleagues or something because when he came into the big training room (which we were all sat ON THE FLOOR IN??? where were the TABLES AND CHAIRS what even is my subconscious) he came and sat RIGHT next to me and we had this cute little small-talk moment before the actual training stuff started

so we’re sat on the ground and we’re being lectured about information governance and data protection and shit, and lmty i am NOT listening because i can’t stop staring at him??? fr my guy looked HEAVENLY you can’t blame me for this. N E way i’m sat like. knees bent & pulled up to my chest, he’s got one leg bent up, both his fuckin. strong ass arms wrapped around it. and one leg out flat because he’s insane and wanted me to suffer, probably. and i’m just trailing a finger up and down his arm the entire time, feeling his muscles, giggling to myself quietly and he keeps looking back at me and smiling and I WAS LIKE HELP. because. it was BLINDING and his eyes were so soft and i’m getting palpitations remembering it wait—

so we break for lunch, it’s a dumb little buffet style thing of just sandwiches and chips and that’s literally it. and we eat and everyone’s like “well this is shit” but it’s free food so we’re still going for it yk. good to know dream j takes food as seriously as awake j does. moving on!

a few minutes into this lunch he pulls me to one side and asks if we can talk so we went out into a corridor and apparently ig we’re in this big high-rise building with floor-to-ceiling windows, staring out over a city??? bro the view is INSANE. so. he gives me one of his AirPods, puts on a song, we’re just looking out over this city together and listening to the music. he turns the volume down and we start talking just quietly about fuck-knows-what, obviously it starts getting a little Juicy. we’re super close, basically in each others faces, noses TOUCHING. (what in the wattpad was i inhaling this day—) and HE TILTS HIS HEAD TO THE SIDE SO HES LIKE AN I N C H AWAY FROM KISSING ME AND HE SAYS “you know, if you wanted something more, all you had to do was ask”

SO OBVIOUSLY DREAM ME LOSES HER DAMN MIND AND NEARLY CRUMBLES TO THE FLOOR. LIKE. WHOOOO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT. WHO ALLOWED HIM TO BE SO SLICK WITH IT

and HE WENT IN FOR A KISS. BUT BECAUSE I WAS SO FKN NERVOUS AND THINKING “there’s no way this is happening rn—“, I SWERVED IT AND HE LIKE FREAKED OUT THINKING HE’D DONE SOMETHING WRONG SO HE RAN AWAY. I TRIED TO SHOUT AFTER HIM LIKE NO WAIT COME BACK BUT BRO WAS GONEEEEEEE

and then we had to go back into the training room so i went in and sat down where i was before but he SAT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM LOOKING ALL UPSET. and im trying to make eyes at him like babe come back im sorry let me explain BUT HE WOULDNT LOOK AT ME. and then fuckin. seungkwan comes over, crouches down, and is like

“hey, please don’t mess around with chan. he really, really likes you. never shuts up about you. if you don’t like him like that, it’s okay, but please just be gentle with him”

AND HE WAS SO SWEET BUT I WAS LIKE BRO DONT FUCKIN— I LIKE HIM I JUST GOT SCARED TELL HIM TO COME OVER HERE RN

but HE DIDNT. so at the end of the thing I just went over and dragged that man by his shirt out of the room and threw myself at him and explained everything and THEN WE FINALLY GOT THE SMOOCH. AND IT WAS JUST REALLY FUCKIN. IT WAS A LOT. IT WAS VERY A LOT. AND IM STILL NOT OKAY OVER IT. IF YOU WONDERED 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

[your-fav-poster]

And now, I present to you. This.

screaming at the top of my lungs, violently sobbing, throwing up, eating my phone, pacing around in circles, mumbling, tucking my hair behind my ear, swinging my legs, yodeling, doing cartwheels, punching somebodys grandma, getting a little silly, a little delusional, a little crazy, shaking my fists angrily towards the sky and cursing the universe, on my knees, begging, pleading, I'm going absolutely insane I need him, I want him, I have to have him or else I might lose it. barking, screaming, growling, howling, on my knees, begging, pleading, hands shaking, on the roof jumping, angrily shaking my fists towards the sky screaming and cursing, running in circles, running laps, laying on the floor and sobbing, banging my fists on the floor, punching holes in the walls, losing my marbles, my clothes? gone. my sanity? gone. screaming, shouting, howling, doing cartwheels, doing backflips, running laps, sitting in a corner crying, on my hands and knees banging my fists on the floor while "I want you" by mitski plays in the background, running laps, laying on the floor while tears run down my face, angrily shaking my fists towards the sky as I curse the universe, running down the street and punching every grandma I see, on my knees, begging, pleading, hoping, and wishing, I am miserable, I am turning towards my delusions for comfort, I am going clinically insane, screaming and crying in a straight jacket while being in a padded cell, I am losing it, I need them either or I don't mind, I can't go on like this, I want him, I need him, I can no longer tell what is reality or what is my delusions. running around the block, doing jumping jacks, doing backhand springs, doing cartwheels, I'm in a corner screaming and crying, I'm aggressively vacuuming, changing lightbulbs, I'm freaking out, im running around while flailing my arms, im losing my mind, I can no longer do this, I'm eating my phone, scrubbing the walls, blasting mitski, planting bombs, I need help, psychiatric help, I need to go to a mental institution, I need a lobotomy, help me please. I'm screaming and running in circles, doing a somersault, doing a front handspring, doing the splits, doing a handspring, doing a cartwheel, tumbling, doing a handstand, sitting in a corner mumbling, laying outside in the rain, gathering crystals and manifesting, i NEED the universe to hear me out or else i'mma lose it, barking, growling, howling, rearranging my room, painting the walls, laying down and banging my fists on the floor, reading the Bible, praying, begging, pleading, hoping, wishing, singing, screaming and crying, talking to a therapist, cleaning the house, having a conversation with the invisible camera, running up the walls and losing my mind, trying to connect with nature to rid my mind of my delusions, planting flowers, going on morning jogs, eating healthy, doing self care, falling back to my delusions, the voices are winning, getting sent to a mental institution to get a lobotomy , receiving psychiatric care, I need you to hear me out 🙏 giggling and blushing, twirling my hair, drawing hearts in the sand, swinging my legs while looking at my phone, rolling around on the floor while giggling and kicking my feet, gathering crystals and manifesting, I want him, I need him, I have to have him or else I will lose my mind I will go clinically insane, I'm on my hands and knees while banging my fists on the floor and begging the universe for him, I need him I really need him good god, you need to hear me out, you have to hear me out, you're going to hear me out, look at him I'm giggling and blushing so hard, I'm squealing, I would let him call me slurs and I would bat my eyelashes at him with a huge dorky smile on my face and look at him as if he hung the stars, Im staring at my phone with heart eyes. BARK BARK BARM BARK BARK PANTING HOWLING DROOLING, SLAMMING MY FOOT AGAINST THE FLOOR IN EXCITEMENT, GROWING HEART EYES TURNING INTO A LOONEY TUNES CHARACTER, PLAYING THE FLUTE VIOLENTLY, SHAKING MY CHEST AROUND, MY HEART IS STOPPING, IM OPENING MY CHEST CAVITY TO MOVE MY HEART-

[lokissweater]

when wife knows it’s you from a mile away and u forgot ur emoji bc u sent in an ask while sleep deprived but u still wanted to chat w wife…… 😞🫶💞 we may be soulmates I fear!!! 🫵😻 (delusional) my week has been going amazing bc of you but at the same time I keep coming back to ur beetlejuice fic bc the part where… wh-where Gojo taps his lightstick on readers cheek… 😞😞😞😞😞😞😞 to assert dominance like… damn……. like that’s hot and bothersome……. sorry I am being freaky 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ I swear im demure !!! wanted to out myself off anon one day but I fear I cannot now bc of the freak I have in me… like who gonna match my freak 😿😿😿 that aside, im very excited for the upcoming gumi and yuta fics omgmggmgmmgm IK YOU WILL COOK LIKE ALWAYS MY LOVE 😭💞💞 may I ask for some crumbs of each fic pls 😿🫶 need smt to satiate myself for my sanity bc I get giggly kicking my feet every time I read ur fics and ur replies to me 😿💞💞💞 I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL REST OF UR WEEK NICKUMS AND PLEASE STAY HYDRATED, EVEN JUICE WORKS (is that why ur fics always juicy 💦💦💦mmmmmmmmmm) 😻😻😻

- 🎀

BAAAAAAHAHAHAHHA OFC I KNEW IT WAS YOU AND THERE IS NO DELUSION I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS REAL ??? 🤨🤨 so now you’re breaking up with me?? 🤨🤨 gumi’s not gonna like this ….

NOOOO BECAUSE TELL ME WHY I BIT THE SIDE OF MY CELLULAR DEVICE WRITING THAT PARTTTT AND LMFOAOAOA HIS FUCKING LIGHTSTICK UR SO FUNNY 😭😭😭😭

satoru tapping his bop it twist it pull it against readers cheek is my all time favorite freak of freaks i crumble completely and tmi but my man did it to me once and i almost got sent to the ER 😻😻😻 BUT ONLY ONCE LIKE OKAY THANKS DO I HAVE TO PAY A SUBSCRIPTION FOR THE NEXT TIME DAFUQ????

NOOOOO MY LITTLE BABY BLUE BOWS LOOK AT THE SMUT I WRITE 😭😭😭 if anyone is gonna match your freak ITSSS MEEEEE AND I WOULD ACCEPT YOU WITH OPEN ARMS EITHER WAAAYYY !!! SO WHENEVER YOU ARE READY TO COME OFF ANON I WILL BE HERE TO GIVE YOU A SMOOOCCHHH !! <3333 💕💕💕

YESSS OH MY FAWKING GOD IM SO EXCITED TOOO !!! AND ABSOLUTELY I CAAANNN WHO WOULD I BE IF NAWT AT YOUR SERVICEEE ???

next gumi continuation fic will circle around a bit of reader with trying out for the nfl cheer team, a bit of sir gumi on the field competing for another title 🫦🫦 LOCKER ROOM SHENANIGANS …. and yuji and readers best friend galore 😩🫶🫶

FOR YUTA MY ONE AND ONLYYYYY HIS COMING FIC WILL BE HIS NFL AUUUU !!!!

IM FUCKING DEAD THE JUICE SENTENCE 😭😭😭 no literally and it’s also why i’m so loopy and dehydrated but no it’s okay !! 😻😻🫦🫦 cause you’ll catch me if i fall no? 🫦🫦

MWAH MWAH I LOVE YOU MY BABY BLUE BOWSSSS !!! <3333 💕💕💕💕 THANK YOU SOSOSOSOSO MUCH PLEASE TAKE CARE AS WELL OKAYYYY !!! MWAAAHHH

[thisisanude]

not feel so confused anymore. because even tho it does feel so good to be with her it ultimately leads to so so so many more complications like i couldn’t handle all of those i really can’t i can never come out to my family and especially not date her and tell them hell no that would never happen i can’t imagine how they would even react. and also i feel so guilty about how good it feels to be with her that it’s like hard to breathe sometimes because ill just get a pit of impending doom in my stomach and not be able to eat or sleep or do anything. i never expected this feeling to get so strong. when i first felt an inkling of it it was wayyyy less serious like just silly fun not deep but now it’s like no im guilty im not a good person im a heartbreaker he would fully hate me if he knew and i really hate myself too. i keep telling myself ill stay away from her and distance myself (slightly cuz i also love her as a friend and i would never want to lose that) but i cant help but want to get closer every time i talk to her or see her. this feels like an impossible thing to figure out. i dont know what to do i really dont. i keep thinking about his old neighbor that he told about us beginning to and he was like be careful dude she might do it to you too. and i was so upset at the time. because i was like i really dont think i would cuz i like you more than ive ever liked anyone how could i want to lose that. i dont know. has my opinion of him changed in a negative light throughout the years. there were multiple fights we had that significantly changed the way i saw him i would just ignore them because hes just mentally ill and when hes not being mentally unwell hes so so nice to me and a really good bf. i dont know. is that just me trying to think of excuses for my fucked up mind. ugh. i remember back in the day thinking ill be surprised if we make it to year 4 of our relationship right after hitting year 3. but now we’re on year 5 and i haven’t thought the same thing since that moment but - i wonder if we will make it to year 6. i really do but also how could we not like i cannot break up with him i really can’t his family texts me and they’ve met my mom and my grandpa knows about him and everyone loves him and he’s literally learning my fucking native language ljke he’s on duolingo he got a LONG ASS streak like holy shit i can’t i can’t do this. i really can’t im freaking out this is affecting my life more than honestly anything else at this point although my mri is very up there as well. but honestly altho i am very scared of that i dont think about it nearly as much as i think about this. and that says something.

i don’t know what to do. i feel delusional. i feel like im going crazy. we were friends for 6 YEARS before this and half of those years we were allowed to fuck and nothing ever fucking happened literally nothing like what is different this time. please. what’s different. what changed. i’m trying to think back on the very first moment i was like oop. and it’s really hard to think of the very beginning it kind of just happened i got more excited to see her and talk to her and i wanted to touch her more than ever before. this is really upsetting. another thing is the biggest concern for him in our open relationship is that i leave him for a girl. the rules he’s set for me are all to help that not happen. clearly didn’t work tho!

FUCK

what do i do

i just want to feel normal so bad

or live in the alternate dimension where i am with her and it doesn’t hurt so bad

it hurts so bad it hurts so bad God God God i’m fucked i’m fucked this is so painful i don’t know how to deal this hurts so bad i feel like my body is shutting down i feel like i can tdocsnhthjgg and there’s no solution there’s no fix because there’s no way i could ever 1) come out to my family and 2) leave my perfect boyfriend that my family loves and that i also love and have so many good memories with ???? but why am i so sad why does it feel so bad how am i going to get over this im literally nonstop feeling this awful feeling of impending doom and it’s just getting worse and seeing her feels so good but hurts a lot like so bad and i can’t do this i really don’t know what to do i need to make a choice i don’t want to make it i really don’t want to please don’t make me please don’t i hate this so bad and the guilt of emotional cheating is eating me up so bad actually eating me alive. like i can’t eat i feel bad all the time and to be fair im anxious about a lot of things rn but this is one of the top and nothing makes me as guilty as this. i’ve never felt this guilty before i really haven’t. in front of my boyfriend, in front of my family. not to mention this is how my relationship right now kinda started. like not fully but kinda this time with a lot more nuances. in my past relationship i loved him but i was never in love with him i don’t think. i knew i didn’t wanna be with him forever. and i wanted to break up months if not a full year before actually breaking up. i was just too pussy to do it and i was going back and forth with it but i was questioning our relationship and i wished i was single but in like a lowkey way like if he broke up with me id be ok type of way but i cant break up with him also i still like having a bf IDK. but my current boyfriend i was in love with for multiple years and even tho we’ve had periods in our relationship where it was rough we always came back and i really genuinely always thought we’d be together forever. i mean we’ve been together for 5 years and i feel like our lives are so intertwined like i have so so so many memories with him so many periods of my life where im like heavily with him and so many gifts from him and so many inside jokes and inside fun and i don’t understand what happened i really don’t i’m so lost im so lost i don’t know how this could’ve happened i just want to be honest honestly but i can’t i can’t i can never hurt him hes so precious and i love him so much. i don’t understand how i can love him as much as i do with my newfound issue like im doing the thing that hurts him the most by having feelings for someone else how dare i say i love him. im such a bad person i want to tell everyone they’re right and they need to stay away from me and i dont deserve to be happy and i just want to die honestly this makes me dissociate so heavy that maybe its a good thing that my mri was moved because im gonna be dissociating more heavily now. im not ok at all this is too much i cant handle it i feel so bad i dont know how to be a real person i just want to feel normal i just want to be ok. i keep thinking about spring semester and how good it was like up until april i would say except april was really good but really bad at the same time because that is when i realized it. i really wish i could have both of them i really wish that i was polyamorous but he is really not so thats never going to happen. but this makes me think back and think why did this happen like did our relationship also go downhill without me noticing. and it felt like we were having some upsetting fights not long before then like the one in august and then another 2 in november ? but then december felt really good with him it felt like things were getting better we had another fight in january but i don’t even remember what it was about. and it’s been a long time since then wow i feel like a fully different person. it’s crazy how much things have changed. i don’t know who i am anymore. i really don’t. i’m scared. i’m really scared. i just want to go home and feel normal and feel grounded and

[poppin-fandoms]

Bro i just finished season 3 and there’s too much mileven ;-;

I mean I do think they’re cute but NOT ROMANTICALLY. Platonic eleven is where its at.

It makes me lose hope lowkey but then I remember that season 4 exists and Mike Wheeler is NOT straight at all. As straight as a mfin circle. You cant tell me he wasn’t infatuated with Eddie CMON its confirmed he even grew his hair out to be like him 😭

I get scared sometimes tho 💀 like what if they don’t break up. But they def will. Honestly as long as Mileven breaks up PLZ

Mileven just doesn’t have that chemistry that Lumax and Jancy and even Elmax and Byler have. And they never will and its so OBVIOUS like you don’t even have to be a Byler to notice it. Bro even one of my teachers said Byler has so much more chemistry than Mileven and she thinks will and Mike should get together and I love her for that 😭 and shes like in her late 40s sooo

It’s not even delusional to think it’ll be canon like there’s stuff everywhere cuz everything is so intentional. Its so POSSIBLE and in my opinion they ARE endgame 100% idc you cant change my mind.

I mean the szn is really good and I like the aesthetics too like the MALL and the OUTFITS r all so cool. it’s fun I mean I love Stranger Things but I just hate how apart Will and Mike were the whole season and the way Mike ACTED like dude chill tf out 💀💀 and then Will was hardly ever shown again, this is like the last few episodes of the season.

But ofc we have the famous “its not my fault you dont like girls!” Mike, your internalized homophobia is showing 🤭

Its funny cuz I always LOVE the first 2-3 episodes of each season and then obviously it gets sad 😭 and hella action too but its still good BUT I HATE WHEN CHARACTERS DIE LIKE POOR ALEXAI WTF?? He deserved better and so did Bob obviously.

Nobody better die in season 5 istfg. Like all of the OG cast has to survive PLEASE LET THEM LIVE.

I also watched the first ep of season 4 and I love Chrissy but ofc, vecna put her out of her suffering, and unfortunately I think Will is also gonna get vecnad in szn 5 cuz my boy has been thru it ALL. When is he not being hurt in some way he deserves nothing but happiness.

Like whats gonna happen after Will confesses to Mike? I mean I still can’t believe it, it’s actually happening and the painting and all that and then he’s gonna be so sad cuz he’ll think Mike doesn’t feel the same and I have SO many fanfic ideas honestly

Also I adore Elmax SO MUCH I honestly wish they could be canon I just love them they’re so prefect for each other. Max is the #1 Mileven anti lmao. I keep remembering how she wanted to be friends with Mike in szn 2 but he was so rude to her like BRO WTF. I still like Lumax but like…consider Elumax.

But El deserves better and she does deserve to be on her own away from Mike.

Also Robin’s coming out scene will never not get me I LOVE HOW SUPPORTIVE STEVE IS i freaking love Steve I mean like honestly who doesn’t?

BUT CAN YOU BELIEVE STRANGER THINGS LITERALLY STRAIGHT BAITED EVERYONE WITH STOBIN? LMAOO

So is it rlly a reach to say Mileven was straight bait cuzzzz

I rlly love Robin and Vickie which r definitely ending up together (with Byler cuz they also kinda parallel each other) but I am very fond of Ronance I love it.

AND THEN JOPPER I ALSO LOVE THEM. Remember when they were like “theres nothing romantic between us we’re just friends.” And then the “we’re a team” and it reminded me so much of that one Byler scene in szn 4 which im pretty sure has been pointed out but yeah the PARALLELS.

And also Jancy had that “oh we’re just friends” moment before they got Murrayed like Jopper. Murray getting matchmaking all the Byers? PERIOD. He better finish that in season 5.

Also why do I lowkey ship Murray and Alexai like that wasn’t just me right? Fuck it

But yeah just some thoughts…

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 3

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

Warning: 

--

Bucky tried for several hours to try and get you to open the door. You ignored him, not wanting to see him because you were so angry with him. He promised he would change and make more time for you, and then he leaves you in the middle of sex for her! Dot is his priority, as far as you’re concerned. You roll your eyes as you think about the “trauma” she had. You know she is using their past to manipulate him, and he is being stupid and letting her. Well now he must face the consequences for his actions. 

You stare up at the ceiling of your old room as you again, for the millionth time, hear the knock and pleads of your boyfriend from the other side of the door. “Please, baby. Open up. I’ll let you scream at me, you can even hit me. I know I deserve it. Just let me see you, please,” he begs.

God this is getting pathetic, you thought. You sigh and figure it’s time to give him an earful and some food for thought. You walk over to the door and unlock it, before opening it to reveal Bucky looking disheveled. He still has no shirt on, just his sweats from last night.

“What could you possibly want me to say to you, Bucky? You obviously made your choice in this. You are allowing Dot to manipulate you to keep you away from me. She wants you back, and it’s completely obvious. You say you want to prioritize me, but you prioritized her! I’ve tried to be calm and understanding to what she is going though, but enough is enough!” you yell, causing Bucky to flinch.

He opens his mouth to speak but you continue, “Ever since she found out that we are dating, she has made it her sole mission to separate us. Do you even care that your actions are killing me? Do you even care that I have cried myself to sleep so many times at night that I forgot how to fall asleep without crying? Do you even care that you are shattering my heart with your actions?!” you yell as tears fall down your face.

Bucky now has tears falling as well as he takes in your words. He didn’t realize just how bad he had made the situation. He needed to fix this. He couldn’t lose you. You were the best thing that has ever happened to him, and he can’t believe that has been so stupid. He walks up and wraps his arms around you, allowing you to cry in his chest. He buries his face in your neck and cries also.

You don’t know how long you have been standing in your doorway crying, but after some time you pull away. Bucky looks at you with sad eyes, “Tell me it’s not too late for me to fix this. I-I don’t want to lose you,” he says in a raspy voice.

You sigh and look down, “I think I need some time to think about things. You need to figure out where your priorities lie. I’ll stay in here for a bit until I’m ready and then we can talk, okay?” you ask.

It breaks your heart to see the distraught nature of Bucky’s face at your words, but you need him to understand how his actions have made you feel. He nods and quickly pulls you into a hug and then slots his lips on yours in a heated kiss. When you pull away he looks you dead in the eyes, “I’m going to make this right. I am going to show you that you, and you alone are what I want and need. That you are my top priority. I promise,” he says.

As he turns and walks away, you can’t help but say, “Don’t make promises you might not be able to keep.”

Bucky stops and looks at you sadly. He really messed up. He finally turns away and walks back to your shared room, that he will now live in alone. When he closes the door he slides down to the ground and openly sobs. How could he be so stupid. How could he not see what was happening. Now he might lose the love of his life because of his past. 

--

Dot is sitting in her room, feeling rather victorious. She overheard your argument with Bucky, and knows that now that you are separating yourself from Bucky, she will have a better chance to win him back. She sighs at the thought of having her love back with her. She was surprised that he didn’t take her back immediately, as she was his first love. Yes, ok so it was like 80 years ago, but I mean the fact that they were both together after all this time, must be fate.

Suddenly her door opens and shows the man she has been thinking about. Dot looks up and smiles, “Hey Jamie! What’s wrong?” she asks, deciding to pretend she is innocent and knows nothing. Always worked with guys. So easy.

“We need to talk, now,” Bucky says, anger evident in his voice. 

Dot’s smile disappears. She figured he would be upset, but not angry, and not at her. “What’s going on?” she asks with a furrow of her brow.

“This is over, Dot. Whatever you are trying to do, it’s done. I know you are dealing with a lot, but you need to start figuring it out for yourself. I am done putting you before Y/N,” he says.

Dot can’t help but roll your eyes. “Oh is she upset with you again Jamie? I mean I understand being slightly threatened by our past, but she obviously doesn’t trust you. If she can’t trust you, then she isn’t good enough for you. Maybe it’s time for you to cut your loses and return to me,” Dot said.

“She has every reason to be upset! I’ve neglected her! I just want to know... are those panic attacks that you have even real,” he asks.

Dot feigns being offended, “How dare you! Of course they are! Look at all I have gone through! I volunteer for something back in the 40′s and wake up in 2020′s. There is a lot of thoughts and feelings I feel and I don’t know how to process them! Is she saying I am lying?”

“I am saying you are lying. You always seem fine when we are together, but the moment I go to my girlfriend you start freaking out. You are trying to keep me away from her,” Bucky says, his voice raising.

“I feel comfortable with you, Jamie! I love you! Of course I feel better when you are near! It’s not my fault you tried to move on! But tell me this, if you don’t love me like you did, and you love her, why then did you constantly leave your girl for me? You obviously are still in love with me! So dump the girl and let’s be together!” Dot yelled.

“You’re crazy! Seriously you are delusional! You use me being a good friend and a gentleman against me to separate me from the woman that I truly love. Well it stops now! You need to get your ass in gear because it will take me nothing to turn you out of the compound to fend for yourself. If Steve and I can make it work, so can you. And your trauma is nothing compared to what we have gone through. So get yourself together and figure your life out. I am done playing these games with you!” Bucky says before leaving Dot’s room.

Dot sat there stunned at the last outburst. If Bucky thinks that she will go down without a fight to the death for him, then he doesn’t know her at all. Dot always gets what Dot wants. No matter the cost.

--

Bucky knocked on Natasha’s door, trying to calm himself down from his conversation with Dot. Nat opened the door and immediately tried to close it, “Nat please! I need your help,” Bucky begged.

She rolled her eyes and allowed him in. He sat there and told her everything about what happened last night, and this morning with Y/N and Dot. Natasha smacked him upside the head at least 4 times for being dumb. When he was done explaining everything he looked sadly at Natasha, “So will you help me? I have a plan that will allow Y/N the time she asked to think, while also showing her that she is my priority. She is the love of my life. Please?” Bucky begged.

Nat knew how much you and Bucky loved each other. She knew how happy you both were, so she agreed to help. Bucky laid out the plan to Nat and they both agreed to set it in motion. Bucky felt better already. He told off Dot, got your best friend to help him, and now all he needed was to win you back. He hoped he wasn’t too late.

--

Chapter 2 / Chapter 4

Dot is trouble! What plans does he have up her sleeve? Will the reader forgive Bucky? Does he deserve it? 🤷🏻‍♀️Feedback is appreciated!

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[jikooksgirl19]

My Soulmates 1

Genre:Soulmate AU, fluff,angst, eventual smut

Pairing: Idol Jimin x Lawyer Reader x Idol Jungkook

Warnings: some swearing (Y/N has a trash mouth sometimes)

A/N: I’m so excited to bring you my story. I hope you all enjoy this first chapter.

Please read the teaser and prologue first if you haven’t already.

*********************************************************************

October 7, 2018 4:36pm

The boys had been practicing since 8am that morning with limited breaks, and were tired and hungry. They were all going to dinner and begin making their way to the elevator, laughing and joking with each other. Namjoon was deep in thought when the doors of the elevator opened and a woman came out barreling right into the midst of the group. Her head was down, and she seemed absorbed in something on the iPad she held in her hands when she must have realized what she had done. Namjoon heard her gasp and reach out towards Jimin and Jungkook and thought she might be trying to steady herself as they were reaching out to her as well. He couldn’t believe it when they all began collapsing on the floor, the other boys trying to catch them. He noticed that the three were still grasping onto each other, and a red ring began to encircle their ring fingers and travel up their arms. The other boys were staring at this as well and they looked at each other shaking their heads. All of them mumbled the same thing

...”Oh Shit!”

You felt warm and cocooned for some reason. It was so cozy and you didn’t want to wake up. Wait, when did I go home? Your thoughts were hazy and you were trying to figure out where you were. You tried to stretch and found yourself bumping into something hard. As you started groping around you realized that this was not your pillow at all but felt like a chest. A mans chest. You have never moved so fast as you just did sitting yourself up. “What the hell...!” You look and see you are on a bed with not one but two boys cuddled up around you. Fear immediately sets in as you look around the room and see sleeping figures on another bed and couch.

“What the fuck...!” You said out loud quickly slapping both your hand over your mouth so as not to awaken the men in the room. You are in bed with, and surrounded by BTS. They are the worlds most famous boy band. They are the Nations Treasures. THEY ARE YOUR CLIENTS!!! Your mind explodes right then and there. You think to yourself ’What Tumblr, A03, Wattpad fanfic did I just wake up in.’

‘OH MY GOD IM IN A COMA!!!! That has to be it. There cannot be any other explanation. I’m in a coma and I transported into some sucky ass wannabe Hallmark Movie’.

All you can think of is that you have some sort of brain tumor and have fallen into a life altering, dream fugue-like state and all your teenage and young adult fantasies are blending together therefore you have conjured up some poly bias delusional weirdness in yor muddled brain. This isn’t real...this isn’t real... this isn’t real....... You pinch yourself and...oh shit that hurt. You struggle to get off the bed which isn’t easy by any means when two pairs of arms AND legs keep trying to pull you back down. You debate screaming bloody murder when you hear someone speak.

“You’re awake”. You turned your head and saw someone sitting up rubbing his eyes looking at you. You recognized the leader of said boy band Namjoon from the many many posters around BigHit.

“I am” your voice sounding more calm than you felt. “Can you tell me where I am and why I’m here with all of you like some weird slumber party?” You we’re holding on the the last shreds of professionalism that you could before screaming to the high heavens.

“You don’t remember finding your soulmates” he asked?

“Excuse me, my what now?” You cocked your head like you didn’t hear him right. “What on earth are you going on about? Soulmate, I don’t have a soulmate.”

“Soulmates” he corrected. By now some of the other members were starting to wake up.

“I AM in a COMA”. You were starting to babble incoherently in a mix of Korean and English with some well placed Spanish swear words your mother used to use when you were little and she was mad. You we’re starting to panic and began trying to climb off the bed all the while the two boys on your bed were snoozing away like nothing was happening. You managed to fall off of the bed and skittered backwards like a crab til your back hit the wall. You slapped your cheeks willing yourself to wake up.

Namjoon looked next to him and asked “Jin can you call Yuna? I think she may be able to help out with...” he looked at you realizing he didn’t know your name. Jin got up and walked towards the window to call someone.

“Y/N. Sona Y/N.” I...I..I’m a temporary lawyer working at BigHit on some of your international contracts. I’d like to say nice to meet you but maybe when there’s a less murdery vibe and location.” You were quickly getting your bearings together and began to gather your composure. “Now can you please tell me why I’m here being cuddled to death by those thing one and thing two over there” you point towards the bed. Several giggles and laughs were heard at this. You on the other hand were not sure what was so funny.

A deep voice in the corner answered this time. “Well thing one and two as you called them, or as we like to call them Jimin and Jungkook are your soulmates “ he said matter-of-factly like it was everyday normal. “I’m Taehyung, you can call me Tae or Tae-Tae to piss them off if you want.” His big boxy grin made him look like a mischievous child You couldn’t help but give him a wary smile. Someone else, you think it was J-Hope came towards you and thrust forward a hand. You cautiously took it and he helped you up from the floor. You began dusting off your skirt and straightening your blouse internally thanking the almighty upstairs that you were still clothed while eying all of them suspiciously. “I’m Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi if you want.”

Jin turned around after hanging up and offered you the only chair in the room. You quickly shuffled over sitting down and tried to ask again why you were here. In a bedroom, on a bed with your soulmates and their band mates all in the same room. “ Can someone please just tell me what happened?” Your voice staring to crack as you were close to tears. “This just feels too extrodinary to believe. You keep saying I have soulmates, as in plural. I didn’t even know that was possible.” It was then that you looked at your left hand and saw the red string tatoo. “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME....Did I have a stroke? How...what...why...” your words became so jumbled you weren’t making any sense and you were pretty sure a panic attack was just a moment away from tackling your neurotic ass into submission. Jin kneeled in front of you telling you to breathe. “ In through the nose....out through the mouth Y/N. You can do it just breathe in and out, in and out...that’s it, you got it, in...out.” You sat there holding his hands while Tae began rubbing your back in circles as they were trying their best to calm you down. Jin explained to you that he also has a soulmate named Yuna and she is ready to come talk to you about what being attached to an idol can be like.

Across the room you heard a groggy voice “Uugghhhh....get off me Jungkookah. Why are we in bed? What happened” could be heard from the bed you just left. Jimin was sitting up while shoving Jungkook off of him and staring around the room. Jungkook fell off the bed. He jumped up and was getting ready to tackle his hyung who knocked him down when his eyes landed on you. He was confused as to why a woman, a very pretty woman, but a woman nonetheless was sitting in their studio bedroom at BigHit, surrounded by four of his hyungs. “Um, hello” he said quietly making Jimin look in the same direction. Eyes got wide when he also said a quiet hello and then proceeded to ask Namjoon “ What’s going on. Who is she and why are we all in here. I thought we were going to dinner?”

“See, I’m not the only one confused” you exclaimed louder and much squeakier than you meant. “Apparently we are soulmates” you say while gesturing to the both of them and yourself. “Surprise “ you say throwing up jazz hands and beginning to laugh at the outrageous looks on both of their faces.

“Who, who is your soulmate?” They both say at the same time.

Namjoon looks at you knowing you are barely holding on at the moment and answers for you. “All three of you are soulmates”.

They stare at each other then at you then at the group and both start laughing. “Ok ok, good joke hyung, stop playing around. Did you knock us out and this is a mystery mission? “ “Are we on a run BTS episode we didn’t know was being filmed?” They took turns asking like this was a prank or something.

When they see no one other than you are deadly serious they stop and start to freak out as well. “ARE YOU SERIOUS?” They look at each other only to both shout out that they couldn’t be soulmates. Why is it just happening now after knowing each other all these years. Brothers yes, soulmates no. NOPE. NO WAY, WHAT THE FUCK.

You get up and walk over to them. You grab both of their left hands and show them the tattoos. You peek inside your shirt and confirm you have the soulmates date above your heart, and tell them to check their chests as well. You strangely feel calm being around the two of them and less like a victim of some K-Pop Serial Killer drama that you stepped into, and you realize they also both settle down while you’re holding onto them.

Namjoon gets up and begins to explain that though it’s rare, there are known cases of multiple soulmates. They are harder to find because all of the mates must be together for their souls to connect. Once they do connect though the bond is stronger than a normal soulmates bond and can come with difficulties due to the relationship aspect of it. Prejudice often follows a poly soulmate connection due to the narrow mindedness of society and can often be looked down on. He tells the three of you that you should tell management right away so they can have a plan in place. Fans aren’t always supportive of their bias’s soulmates, and Y/N having two of the most popular idols in Korea as hers are going to come with challenges. Especially with you being a foreigner.

You three look at each other and back at Namjoon, silently agreeing to these terms. He also suggests you three need time together alone to get to know about each other because you all three had different lives leading up to today, and it would be best to figure out where you all should go from here. Other people’s feelings and relationships are going to be affected by what has happened and you all needed to be prepared for any backlash.

“Ok, now that this is all settled can we please get some dinner?” You hear from the other bed where apparently Yoongi has been napping throughout all the mental breakdowns.

To be continued...

Taglist: @mrcleanheichou @itsminniekat @dreamescapeswriting @seaoffangirling @4evahevah @sonderkook @bisexualmess007 @chxustuff @aviwasabi21 @skyys-universe @ally22042000 @ramblingsofawolfgirl

[thesunnyshow]

Name: hi, i am nyx  Age: 20 years old Writing Blog URL(s): jungcity.tumblr.com | v-asl.tumblr.com 

Nationality: filipino Languages: english, filipino Star Sign: pisces! MBTI: infp-t Favorite color: white accentuated by silver Favorite food: it’s sweet and spicy chicken garlic!! Favorite movie: hmmm, it’s prolly flipped because that movie was so cute :,)  Favorite ice cream flavor: rocky road!! Favorite animal: it’s gonna be cats!! although i love lions so much because of narnia :,( Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? coffee :,) Go-to karaoke song: i don’t sing agskh the world would end if i would 

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i think it’s me writing about jaehyun??? since he’s the king of fanfiction, especially in ncity nowadays. 

What fandom(s) do you write for?  nct + wayv

When did you post your first piece? three days ago!! that would be august 4 i guess???

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i don’t really much write fluff since i don’t have any idea how to write a good fluff!! :( this has been an issue every time i write some au’s. so im always ending up writing and focusing more on angst. it’s the genre i know best. well, crack… it’s hard to make the readers laugh when you can’t even make their tooth ache from sweetness with your fluffy writings. :( smut… i don’t write smut explicitly any more. i’m more on the suggestive side rn. 

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc  i write OC’s especially when im writing a series!! to diversify my writing. but i usually am on the x reader side. ships? not that much. 

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? uhm, back in 2017, i was searching for some website where i could publish my works. ive always been a tumblr-girl since i am that wanna-be-aesthetic kinda person :D then i had found that i could write and publish on tumblr so yeah that’s pretty much why i am on this app rn

What inspires you to write?  ooh, music has been a great help for sure!! whenever i don’t feel like writing something, i always listen to music and the idea would flow like a river. classic poems helps, too. :)

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?  supernatural!au’s, fantasy!au, medieval!au. i feel like it’s easier to write something out of pure fantasy. i have a hard time writing modern!au’s since i lack the humor and the knowledge for modern slangs. 

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?  ooh, i always always always am careful with the way that i craft all my works. i try to feel what my characters feel to give them a certain validation. i put my shoes on the scenarios i have in mind even though i haven’t yet experienced everything ive written. and i do love writing strong female characters, whether it’s oc’s or female readers. that’s my main priority whenever i write. and i want them to know that girls could do just as much everything boys could. women are powerful. 

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?  i read a lot to get back on my foot. i also try to re-read my past works so i’d be inspired to better my writing on my current draft.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?  my favorite work is the one i’m still writing rn, which is entitled 505. it’s a hendery fic in which he is a bandit and the female reader is a sacristan. it’s my fave since i relate myself so much to the female reader. :) my most successful one is the childhood best friends!au taeyong x female reader. it’s about to reach 600+ notes i guess? and im so grateful of all the feedbacks i got from it. 

Who is your favorite person to write about?  it’s jaehyun and hendery :) 

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?  character wise, perhaps. since you already have a face value in fanfiction, but in an original prose, you would have to craft everything from 0. 

What do you think makes a good story?  a good story is something that doesn’t romanticize the bad things going on in the world. a good story is something that is emphatic to the hardships of others. a good story is something that gives comfort to those who are in the dark. a good story is something that boosts the hearts of the readers and makes them feel things!! 

What is your writing process like?  first, i think of a plot! (this happens oftentimes when im washing the dishes) when i have the plot, i think of the ending. when i have the ending, it’s time for me to device a fitting title. and the plot would develop from then on. 

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?  i don’t think so… this is scary. since some people think of fanfics as delusional works from delusional authors. it’s kinda sad. 

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?  i love love love enemies-to-lovers trope!! one that i couldn’t stand and do my best to not read is probably… hmm… no, i love all tropes!! i just love e-t-l most!

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?  it means a ton. since it could really boosts me up. heavy sigh. it’s the best thing when you write something— the feedbacks. even though it’s a simple reblog with the ‘#ATKSHSKSHSKAHAKSGAHGEGSJA’ or ‘#myfave’. i would smile like an idiot whenever i read it.

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? i want to be a successful writer someday!

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? teleportation!! 

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?  ancient greek + victorian era

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?  yes!! im so hell deep in indecision right now so i want to restart to make everything right

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?  100 chicken-sized horses!!

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?  enemies-to-lovers trope agsksj LOL

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?  YES!!! perhaps they are lurking somewhere here on earth and we don’t know it yet ;)

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?  oh… i don’t really know what to write. i don’t give much attention to my personal details agsksj

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?  yes!! ugh, there’s this recent issue wherein stan twt called fanfic writers as freaks. and it broke my heart. i mean, most fanfic writers get inspirations from their idols and that shouldn’t be a bad thing. we aren’t delusionals as one might think. we are simply doing our craft. 

Do you think art can be a medium for change?  yes!! our country’s hero ‘jose rizal’ had somehow stirred the nationality of the people back in the old days because of his writings. i do believe that art changes things!! it has the ability to pierce the heart of the people.  

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?  yes. i feel this whenever im writing smut. i mean, let’s be real, your works would do better once you’ve included some steamy smut scenes in it. when i was writing my first fanfic after three years, i didn’t think that i’d ever include smut. but the fear of not getting feedbacks crept up in me, so i forced myself to write some sexy scenes. i know that’s like… weird. but i’m trying not to dwell on feedbacks any longer. and i also have decided not to write explicit smut anymore. honestly, i feel better now that i don’t force myself to do something that i think would please others rather than me.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?  uhm, as far as i can remember, nope— still hasn’t felt that way. :)

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?  yes!! my best friends irl knows about it. my sister knows. my parents are also aware of my passion in writing, and they do know that i write. but where and what, that remains obscured from them :D 

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?  that it’s okay to be vulnerable. it’s okay to make mistakes. it’s okay to fail sometimes. it’s okay to feel things. because like a good book, there is always a character development and you have the pen to write your own version of happy endings. 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?  i’ve been there: the scared and conscious part. but one thing i would say is, you have to dare yourself!! you won’t know how your writing would have impacted so many lives and touch the hearts of people if you won’t grab your pen or your gadget and start your draft. 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?  nope, there aren’t. the community has been lovely to me ever since i started writing. :,)

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? yes!! oh my god. i’d like to take this opportunity to thank my mutuals who’s done me nothing but kindness— @legendnct (hannah), whoo!! you know how much i love you, right? thank you for always being there to listen to me. :) @cloudysuh des, since day one you’ve supported me. i couldn’t ask for more. thank you for the never-ending praises, keyboard smashes, for the tags, and for always boosting me up. @bohoes georgie, you know i love you. since 2017 you’ve been with me— praising my works and supporting me. thank you. @cherr-e cherry!! thank you!! for teaching me how to better my writing. i hope endless happiness for u and please take care. @writermoon hello my babe!! thank you so much for reading my works with such vivid imaginations. i love you. @jaeyongf amy!! the bestest person :,) thank you for always leaving me feedbacks!! thank you for being kind to me. thank you for always supporting me. i love you guys so much and let’s be mutuals for a long time!! 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

“If the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.” — Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë

[ka1f]

[ For : Mingi ] You sighed , shutting the door and groaning .Your feet hurt so bad. Nonetheless , you shook your head , deciding to go to the one place you found comfort . All the while calling your cat’s name. Ah ,the kitchen . You switched on the lights , opening your eyes with a smile , remembering the goodies you had hidden inside your fridge.

“yeep !” you jumped , landing on your bottom . There was a man , a man you didn’t know , on his knees in front of your refrigerator , stuffing his face with cake. He turned to you and blinked.

“Owner !” he cried , trying to pounce on you . You screamed , backing up until you were against the wall . The man tilted his head , confused.

“Owner ? What’s wrong ? It’s me , Mingi , in my true form-” you grabbed your shoe--which was close by--and smacked his head . He fell , groaning and glared at you.

“what was that for ?” he winced , trying to sit up . You held the shoe in the most threatening way you could.

“Who are you ?”

“I told you ! I’m Mingi-”

“Mingi , is my maine coon . You , are a delusional crazy man who has broken into my house and is eating my cake !” you shrieked , hand trembling in fear . The man blinked , sitting up.

“Owner , It’s really me . I’m a special cat , owner . I was waiting for my curse’s fourth anniversary so i could finally be a human like you-”

“S-shut up ! I’m calling the police ,” you threatened . He simply blinked , not feeling the fear your words were supposed to spark.

“Owner , it’s true . I’m Mingi , your mingi . Why are you being so difficult ?” he pouted , tutting and shaking his head .

“Mingi !” you shouted , waiting for your cat.

“Yes ?” he responded , raising a quizzical eyebrow. You shot him a glare , raising the shoe.

“Mingi !” you cried , voice growing more desperate . He watched as you brought yourself to your feet , looking all over for him .

“I’m right here . I’m Mingi,” he sighed again , resting his head in his hands.

“You are a grown man who-”

“I can prove it . Owner , we watch powerpuff girls every morning before you go to work and when we watch R-rated movies , you cover my eyes ! When you sleep , you have to wear a pyjama dress and you have these socks that i always peel off your feet-”

“How do you know so much about me ?” you cried , getting very freaked out.

“Because . I’m Mingi,” he looked you dead in the eye , holding your gaze .  You sighed , tossing the shoe away and holding his hands , on your knees before him.

“Please , dude . i’m having a bad day , i just want my cat and some cake so please , please can you just tell me where my Mingi is ?” He sighed . As a cat , he never realised how stubborn you were . He was about to reply with another annoyed ‘im your cat’ when he saw how you were tearing up. 

His expression softened as he pulled you in for a hug , resting against the wall . You let him , melting in his arms as though he was someone you knew and held dear and allowed him to rub your back , consoling you.

“Owner ?” he spoke up cautiously . You were too tired to fight anymore .

“I really am Mingi . The same kitten that watched you grow up . The same one who’ll continue to be by your side. I’m yours , your Mingi,”  you sighed , pulling away and wiping your eyes.

“if you can answer one question correctly then I’ll believe you are my cat and not some stalker ,” you decided , sitting down opposite him . He hummed , leaning forwards.

“What’s my favourite part of you ?” you hugged your knees . He grinned .

“My belly . After you cry you always tell me how fluffy my belly is,” he grinned . You laughed.

“You know what ? It’s crazy but sure . Mingi , you’re my Mingi,” you repeated , as though trying to convince yourself . He nodded.

“Your Mingi,” he hummed .

[geniedocroe]

hey! can i do the s/o and best friend ship please? Im 5'8 with brown hair and blue eyes, and I'm curvy, but athletic. Im very shy but open up once you get to know me. Big fan of cuddling lol. I adore art and history. Im a big fan of movies (Except horror bc I'm a big wimp) and will listen to anytime of music. I also love being outdoors:))) ty!

as an s/o:

y’all could have the exact same description for ur requests but i will still ship u with different people

it’s 1 am i will soon become delusional

every ship is different and for this ship i feel like babe was quite nervous when he met you

he mirrored you almost perfectly

bill introduced the two of you because he’s a wingman now

you & babe were both blushing hella and stuttering and neither of you really knew what to say

bill was looking at the two of you like wtf

because he knew the both of you and neither of you were like that

the two of you shook hands it was like an electric shock

you definitely held onto babe’s hand longer than you should have and the ppl aroudn the two of you were like cough cough what

so the two of you walked away from this experience feeling very overwhelmed & embarrassed

it took bill two months to get the two of you in the same place again

he was trying his hardest to get this to work out

so this time you got to meet babe all over again and he was very smooth and nice and didn’t hold you hand for too long

despite all this he was still very blushy but maybe that’s just because he’s a ginger

you were a little more open this time but it was still a little awkward

bill calls this progress

soon you and babe were talking like an old married couple and bill was punching the air

he is the ultimate matchmaker

you threw a curveball and asked babe out because you could feel the chemistry but babe was just not asking you out

babe accepted your date invitation and the two of you watched a movie at your house

babe was freaking out

& bill was like babe stfu if someone invites you to their house then you go

it wasn’t an awkward first date because the two of you had been friends for some time at this point

but it wasn’t like watching a movie with a friend

there was a lot more cuddling

(well at least this is not how i watch movies w my friends 😳)

babe fell asleep towards the end of the movie and you didn’t want to move so eventually you fell asleep as well

the next morning you woke up to a kiss right on the lips and the blushing was back and babe had an incredible smirk on his face

“i’ve been trying to wake you up for fifteen minutes and you looked like sleeping beauty so i decided to give it a try”

he wasn’t smirking for much longer because you tackled him into a kiss

this set the tone for the entire relationship

the two of you became official after that

i mean who becomes official after the first date?

you and babe are always outside

you think it’s so cute that babe could go outside and when he comes back inside he will have 739383839 more freckles on his face

(can strongly relate)

as a bestfriend:

you can’t have babe without the one and only icon bill guarnere

i LOVE this man

this is a sibling relationship 100%

when bill was telling you that he met a kid during the war and you were gonna absolutely love him you thought he was being ridiculous

then you met babe & the rest was history

obviously at first there was a few issues but bill assured you that babe wasn’t always like that

bill was talking up babe so much that you told him that he should be the one going on dates with him instead

bill will always tease you

and he will not hesitate to tell babe off

“HeY hEfFrOn HaNdS AbOvE tHe WaIsT aNd DoNt YoU dArE bRiNg YoUr DiRtY gInGeR fInGeRs To ThE cHeSt ArEa!!!!”

dirty ginger fingers i’m a comedian

bill is very protective over you

he doesn’t take shit from anybody

he is the only one aloud to tease you

no one else

not even babe

he will threaten babe

sorry

bill also likes to do your hair or help you pick out outfits

he is the big brother everybody wants

the two of you tell one another everything

that def overwhelms babe but whatever

and bill always gives you the best advice

and you’re not the type of person to hear his advice & ignore it

you take that shit to heart

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

just gonna rant about my health issues to no one in particular for a bit under the cut sooo

im just so fucking tired of being sick all the time like. its been almost 2 years now of actively Going To Doctors And Having Tests Done And Trying To Get A Diagnosis and fucking!!! nothing works!!! and i only have until the end of this coming school year to get it figured out before my insurance runs out otherwise im just fucked!!! because im sure as hell not gonna be able to afford a fucking mri every six months making 10 bucks an hour at some retail shithole but so far ive seen SIX different fucking doctors (not counting 2 ER visits) because they all just keep shuffling me back and forth like “idk maybe have someone else deal with this? weird lol” or like “have you considered that maybe you might have anxiety :) you seem stressed :)” 

like yeah its a fucking stressful situation getting progressively fucking sicker for two goddamn years wasting thousands of dollars and reaching the end of a fucking ticking clock because almost every doctor ive seen is an incompetent jackass who does NOTHING but waste my time and money and then fucking condescend to me about anxiety like!!! yeah i probably DO have anxiety and depression and autism and what the fuck ever else but this isnt THAT 

and the literal ONE TIME i had ANY treatment that worked AT ALL helping with my eye spasms (literally One of Many Symptoms that i deal with on a fucking daily basis that still manages to completely fuck up my life) is something i cant take anymore because it damaged my fucking eyes!!! possibly permanently!!! i already HAD issues wtih light sensitivity that this medicine made WAYYY fucking worse and guess whats one of the WORST things at setting off my eye spasms??? anything to do with fucking light so YEAH thANKS for that @ the opthalmologist who had me take those damn eye drops for two months straight, which other neuro opthalmologist said was bullshit when i saw her again, not that im letting HER off the hook either since she REFERRED me to that incompetent bitch in the first place and then had NO solution other than “hm well you definitely shouldnt take that medicine again, but theres literally No Other Treatment, maybe blow another $400 in a few months to come see me again so i can continue to Not Help You In Any Way”

and its getting wORSE ALL THE TIME!!! and the best thing doctors can think of is “hm well maybe wait a bit to see if it gets worse? and maybe then we’ll know what it is?” well its getting worse!!!! but they still dont seem to know what it is!!! like at first it was just my vision going out of focus for a few seconds at a time, then it was a few minutes, then i was having visual distortion (or maybe hallucinations? who knows! certainly not any of the fucking doctors ive seen!), then awful fucking eye strain headaches, then spasms in my neck, then my jaw, then my arms, then my legs, now all fucking over, and now i get sick and dizzy just by moving my HEAD too far or too suddenly and like at work earlier today i was just stumbling around for two hours bc there was too much pressure in my head and everything felt tilted and i was just grabbing at every surface trying not to fall with my head like on my shoulder bc keeping my neck straight was too fucking hard and i swear to fuckign god a couple nights ago there was this weird buzzing on the side of my face??? and like it felt like my mouth was moving slower than it should??? but i dont even KNOW if thats a Real SymptomTM or if i was just freaked out and tired and imagining things or if i really am just getting to be a paranoid delusional nutcase about my health because every little thing terrifies me at this point, like ive been coughing for a couple weeks and instead of being like “oh its a bad cold” im like “maybe now my immune systems fucked up too maybe this is A New Symptom” i literally cant tell anymore i have no fucking idea 

and i dont WANT to think about all this All The Fucking Time but i do!!!!! i literally HAVE to bc it affects my life in every fucking possible way and i cant escape it like even rn the light from the fuckign computer is hurting my eyes and i cant even see what im typing half the time bc my eyes keep going out of focus and my teeth keep chattering and my head hurts or ill go to get a drink of water but then just Stand there for a few minutes bc i dont trust myself to hold a cup full of water and not spill it bc im having spasms or ill have to wear sunglasses at the dinner table bc my fucking idiot asshole dad got the BRIGHTEST possible lightbulbs for the dining room and i physically cant stand them 

or like im already dreading having to explain all this shit to my professors this semester about how like “oh so i probably wont be able to keep up with daily readings, especialyl not if theyre on physical paper and i cant scale up the text because my eyes just spontaneously stop working and i cant read..... and ill need a computer to take notes, i can Usually hold a pencil but one time i had a spasm in class and flung it across the room and it was super embarrassing and i ltierally skipped that class for weeks because of it so id really rather not deal with that again.... and even though im a fuckign AMAZING public speaker like, state champion debate level public speaking, ill still probably get super fucking nervous and suck at any kind of in class presentation bc ill just be thinking about my spasms the whole time and wont be able to focus....... and ill have to wear sunglasses all the time too so hopefully thats not an issue........ and also ill probably miss a lot of class bc whether or not i can handle walking half a mile Varies Wildly from day to day and also i have a lot of doctors appointments and sometimes im on medicine that completely ruins my sleep schedule so you know... looking forward to a great semester, hope i dont completely fail your class” 

and i have fuckign work tomorrow where ill have to deal with trying to pretend like even the most minor tasks arent painful and difficult and deal with awful btichy entitled customers complaining that im not SMILEY enough for you like the motherfucker who asked me how i was and i said fine and he was like “jUuUUuuuST fINE” like shut the everlasting FUCK UP with that ive met my obligation leave me ALONE my day isnt FINE im in awful pain and i HATE you and everyone like you or ill have to deal with my coworkers giving me weird looks while im having spasms or outright MOCKING me for them like the asshole that called me TWITCH (and a whore, but thats Another Fucking Story) or just not knowing how to deal and making bad taste jokes like when my teeth are chattering bc I Physically Cant Make It Stop like “haha are you chewing an invisible piece of gum lol” like no bitch im a neurological nightmare and my brain doesnt work and im Barely Holding Together would you PLEASE shut the fuck up 

and most of the time i just feel like everyone thinks im a fucking freak like even just sitting in the waiting room to see the neurologist or opthalmologist or whatever and everyone else there is Old and im the only person even remotely close to my age there and even the doctors dont seem to take me that seriously bc of it like “oh shes young, cant be that bad, all these old people out here are gonna die like tomorrow so why worry about this girl, its probably just anxiety from being on her period or having a test to study for lol” like straight up when the movement disorder neurologist was examining me she was like “im not used to seeing anyone this young or healthy’ and i know she meant it relatively speaking but like!!! clearly im NOT healthy or i wouldnt BE here like obviously something is wrong with me and its ruining my life and its serious and id like it fixed thanks!!!!! 

and i feel like No One Gets It like, obviously there are people wayyyy sicker than i am who suffer a lot more or people in similar situations but like. i dont Personally Know someone like that i can just talk to and like, of course i have friends who can Listen but.................................. theres a difference from being able to listen and being able to actually Understand and sometimes you just cant Get It unless youve gone through it like i really dont think ANYONE in my life has any idea how serious this is or how much it affects me and i know i cant expect everyone to just Always Think Of My IssuesTM but little things!!! like maybe NOT having the brighest possible lightbulbs in the dining room!!!! my brother NOT having his birthday party at dave and busters, which i had TONS of spasms at last time i went (and im even worse now!) AND the staff gave me shit about wearing sunglasses so now im nervous about That too or just! idk! people respecting and listening to me when i tell them that i Cant Do Something or that Doing That Thing Hurts and not just brushing me off or telling me im overreacting and then getting all shocked pikachu face when their dumbassery actually physically HURTS me and i get pissed with them for it!!!!

i dont think anyone gets how much it scares me all the time or how its Always on my mind and i literally cant think about anything else like. this could be the rest of my life. this could end my life. i dont know what i have. i might get diagnosed in the next month and have it completely cured, i might get a diagnosis and still be sick forever, i might not find out until its too late and i have LITERALLY NO FUCKING IDEA WHICH ONE!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!