#I AM ALSO NOT HAVING A HARD TIME STRATEGIZING WITH THIS PICTURE SO BOTH VERSIONS ARE SUPER EASY TO SWITCH BACK AND F

[redhotarsenic]

I’d say I’m like. A soft 67 percent done with the cosplayer guy pictures btw

[scorpiosanssexy]

Pick a Card Reading: Who is your Soulmate

If you are a hopeless romantic like myself and you wanna know some traits, what your relationship will be like and even a possible meeting place you are in like with this pick a card reading.

Below are pictures of some Haikyuu Team banners, look at each one and decide which one you feel most drawn too (it could be the messages or just the colours) once you have decided scroll down and read your reading.

The banners are in order from 1 to 5 (left to right). I would suggest only picking 1 or 2 banners in order to get an accurate reading . The waltzes are taken from waltzing in a ballroom by Lia Wang on Spotify.

I hope this resonates and have a wonderful day

Carla

 Itachiyama (Pile 1) 

Personality- what type of person is your soulmate 

8 of Cups- your soulmate is always on the go, their life is anything but stagnate and they constantly always on the lookout for a new adventure (which they will happily let you join them). BIG TRAVELLERS, they wanna see the world with you, take some cute couple selfies all that jazz. Cups represent the element of water so I think this person can be quite deep and introspective and is constantly trying to become the best versions of themselves.  Will 100% go backpacking with you 

The Lovers- this person definitely has an equal split between divine masculine energy and divine feminine energy, being good at logic and emotions. I also got the impression that this person is extremely romantic, like a scene that popped into my head is in the Addams Family where Gomez and Morticia declare their love for another and he (Gomez) kisses her arm, that’s the kind of person they are. The lover’s card shows up in readings when you are asked to be your authentic true self so I feel they are naturally themselves, no persona. Also, they have 100% cried whilst watching the notebook and if they haven’t seen it they will in the future. 

Ace of Pentacles- very opportunistic, if they see something they just go for it (including you wink). I feel like they have been very lucky in regards to wealth in their life, either they were born into a rich family or are just very strategic with their money. They may swap careers often in their life or just love the idea of a challenge however what I can confidently say is they are pretty damm cunning and resourceful, leave the money-making to them because they have a natural knack for manifesting wealth and abundance into the physical world. Some people may describe this person as lucky however that is not the case they just know which opportunities to capitalise on. Work smarter not harder energy, just very savvy 

Astrology Notes - Gemini in their big 3 (Sun, moon or rising) with some water and earth influences 

Relationship- what is your relationship like with them? 

The Devil-  I promise you they are not the devil however they might as well be because of how much they will spoil you. In tarot, the devil is represented by Capricorn (aka the sugar daddy of the zodiac) so of course they have to indulge in their baby girl/boy. I feel like they low key become obsessed with you not in a creepy way but whenever you are not with them they always find themselves thinking of you or dropping your name subtly into conversations. They want to provide for you, make you comfortable, in their ideal world they do not want to make you lift a finger. Also think you are the most attractive thing to walk on this planet like they get flustered at the thought of you, low key a very big simp. Incredibly passionate in and out the bedroom, I feel like in the beginning stages of your relationship they will try and suppress their desire because they are worried they will scare you off. 

If you wanna find out more I suggest reading up on Capricorn Venus because I highly suspect that they might have it in their chart. 

How you meet- pretty self-explanatory 

Page of Swords- out of all the piles I found this pile to be the vaguest in regards to this question. The energy from this card is new ideas, collaborative work and just general communication. You may meet one another simply through a friend of a friend or maybe you are working on some sort of project together. I decided to have a look at the bottom deck to see if I could find any clarifies and drew the Hanged Man, this could maybe be a passion project (not one for work) in which you meet one another whilst embarking on it. The Hanged Man indicates rest so a time in your life where you are taking a break from the world around you, just having fun and socialising with friends. You will meet when you are feeling care free and feel like you no obligations- a spontaneous outing. 

Advice 

: Blue Moon - “Believe in the Impossible”

You never know what can happen, the universe may be giving you a rare opportunity in regards to your soulmate 

Make sure you believe in it, believe that you are deserving of love 

Miss the chance and it might not come back soon 

What happens may happen once 

Believe in your dreams 

The person you are inquiring about is a rare find 

Affirmation: I am lucky 

Your Waltz: Mystery of Love by Hanah Stater 

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Aoba Josei (Pile 2) 

Personality- what kind of person is your soulmate 

The Lovers- this card has come up in ⅗ piles which suggest that many people seeing this reading are destined to have very passionate soulmates. I have always the lovers card to be grandiose and romantic so I feel like this is a primary characteristic to sweep you off your feet. This card is ruled by Gemini so your soulmate is gonna be one smooth mother fucker, mr steal yo girl energy. The lovers is a combination of both divine masculine and divine feminine energy so your soulmate is both very good at being logical whilst tapping into their emotional intelligence. They are naturally themselves and are proud of who they are 

10 of Cups- this card aka the happy ending card, I think your soulmate has an idealistic stand point on the world , the image that came to mind was Sugawara from Haikyuu shouting Negativity begone. I think this person radiates calm energy, I just imagine them to have a very soothing voice. This is the kind of person you could confidently bring home to meet your parents (in which they would automatically love them). Also I feel like family is very important to them, mummy’s boy or daddy’s girl vibe, I can imagine they are also extremely good with kids too and maybe have some career which involves this. Very protective of their loved ones honestly as I am writing this i am literally gushing, this person is the sweetest bean alive. 

3 of Pentacles - all I could think about when I drew this card was how incredibly hard-working your soulmate is. Pentacles is all about the physical world so your soulmate definitely has one hobby they are super passionate about (sports or something creative) which they love to spend time on. This card is an indication of teamwork so your soulmate is a huge team player, making sure that everyone is alright before checking themselves, they naturally bring people together and perhaps others view them as a leader. Also not a procrastinator by any means, they love the feeling of completely goals and ticking off their to-do lists in which they encourage friends and lovers to do the same. 

Astrology bits: Gemini in their big 3 (Sun, Moon or Rising) with some cancer and earth influences 

Relationship- what is your relationship like with them? 

Judgement- I promise you that it does not mean they are going to judge you actually I do believe this is the exact opposite. The judgement is a very heavy card in the sense that it represents spiritual awakening and revolution, your soulmate 100% believes you were the missing piece in their life. You have changed their life for the better. I feel that this soul connection is based more on deep emotional understanding rather than physical attraction. Your romance is that 50k word slow burn fic with the friends to lovers, mutual pining and comfort tags. I know that you cannot see it but on this card you see two people looking up towards this beautiful angel and I am can confirm that this angel is you. Your soulmate views as the person that set them free as you offered them new life perspectives. Perhaps your soulmate uses the pet name “angel”. If I could describe this relationship in one word it would be Ethereal. 

This person may have a Scorpio venus or venus-pluto aspects in their chart. 

How do you meet? 

10 of Wands- The image that I first thought of when drawing this card was like cramming for a final week or something and you both meet one another at a library or something however this might not be for all of you. I can tell you however you will be meeting them under a time of great stress, perhaps you accidentally volunteered to do more overtime or you have a presentation due very soon, you are most likely going to be in a state of fatigue (and be very flustered)  when you first meet. Just from their nature, I imagine they will help you carry the wands or in this case the ever drowning work. 10 is the number of completion so you may meet them in a point in your life where you have nearly completed a goal (them being that final push to do it) or it could represent month number 10 like October. 

Advice

Waxing Moon - “the energy is gaining momentum” 

The Situation is full of potential- your soulmate may be near 

You may need to take more action on your part 

Keep moving forwards 

Universe has given the green light so just go for it 

Your dreams can come true 

Affirmation: I know I’ve headed in the right direction 

Your Waltz: Clair de Lune by Claude Debussy 

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Inarizaki (Pile 3)

Personality- what kind of person is your soulmate

6 of Cups- this card in tarot represents nostalgia and familiarity, I feel your soulmate definitely likes their home comforts, perhaps preferring to have quieter dates rather than over the top ones. For some reason I just imagine them being a hoarder of some kind, like any little trinket you get them they will keep it or they might be into scrapbooking. They love to keep their memories close. Again I feel like they are really into history and would love to take you to a museum or perhaps a historical castle, they give me dark academia vibes. I feel like your soulmate had to perhaps grow up too quickly and perhaps through this connection they hope to find their inner child again (which I believe you will definitely bring out in them) 

Queen of Pentacles- not be a simp or anything but your soulmate is one of the most caring and nurturing people ever. A scene that plays in my head is that after a really long day you come home from work or whatever and they are just there cooking you your favourite meals and being like “welcome home sweetheart”. Whilst the Queen is a caring figure we do have to remind ourselves of the Pentacle energy. Your soulmate does prefer the finer things in life, taking you to bougie restaurants or having a mini spa day together. They do like to live a luxurious life and believe you should too, never settle for anything less. Your soulmate is definitely a tidy person and knows how to keep their life nice and orderly and finds joy in organisation, also probably quite a private person. Even though the Queen court card represents feminie divine energy I feel like your soulmate has an even split of both masculine or feminine energy they are good at both logic and emotion. 

Page of Cups- this is one of my favourite cards in the deck, the page of cups represents someone who perhaps sometimes has their head in the clouds and can be a little bit innocent. Your soulmate is naturally very creative and takes inspiration wherever they go, for some reason I pictured them being into to photography but that might not be the case for all of you. Also I believe they may refer to you as their muse, you know the anime duos where there is the light and the shadow, the shadow helping the light shine and getting inspiration for them to keep going (think Akaashi from Haikyuu or Kuroko from Kuroko no Basket), I feel like your soulmate is your shadow helping you cast you light into the world. I feel your soulmate does have a hard time to express their emotions so doing so using a creative medium really helps them. The type to make handmaid gifts for their friends on their birthday. 

Astrology Notes: Taurus in their big 3 (Sun, moon or rising) with some water influence 

Relationship- what is your relationship like with them? 

The Chariot- this is not the most romantic card in the pack however there is one thing I can tell you about your connection your soulmate is devoted, they are the CEO of long term commitment like your relationship gives me the same energy as Carl and Elle from Up, just very pure and filled with love and support. The Chariot represents self-control and focus and a funny scene that popped into my head was your soulmate being kind of prudish at first when it comes to the more physical aspects of your relationship, they get easily embarrassed however I feel like their love language is acts of service. You will 100% be their focus in their life, they do love to spoil you rotten with attention and want to be your protector. They may be a little bossy but they just want to see you thrive, like they may leave little notes to remind you how much you love them. The kind of people to make an itinerary for a date because organising things for you is their love language. Overall, a very sweet relationship based on kinds acts of service, the married couple before being married. 

Your soulmate might have a Cancer Venus or Venus-moon aspects so if you want some further detail you can read up on those 

Where you will meet- pretty self explanatory 

The Hanged Man- Because this is a major arcana card I feel you meeting your soulmate will be quite a significant event in your life. The Hanged Man represents a time for letting go and a time of delay, perhaps you will be meeting your soulmate during a time where you are letting go of the past, this could be getting over an Ex, letting go of negative thoughts or even changing careers. I also got the image of you both meeting when you are volunteering, doing something for the community as this card is ruled by the planet of Neptune. Maybe be relaxing and doing something creative could be potentially when you meet them, ie: dancing, singing. I do know that it is during a time when you are moving on from something or your life has entered a limbo stage, nothing exciting happening. I wanted to see if I could find any clarifiers to this because I thought it was too vague and the bottom deck was the Devil Card, perhaps when you start to let go of limiting beliefs about yourself your soulmate may finally appear or perhaps getting over an addiction of some kind. The devil is ruled by capricorn so perhaps a creative project more for work may be potentially another place. 

Advice

: New Moon in Leo - “Confidence is the Key to Success” 

This is your time to shine so show off your talents

Be proud of yourself, you have come so far 

Spoil and pamper yourself because you have earnt it (just like how your soulmate does) 

It’s your turn in the spotlight do not shy away from it because you deserve the success and recognition 

Make sure you work on your self esteem first before seeking romance 

Make time for fun 

Affirmation- “ I am compassionate towards myself as well as others

Your Waltz: Once upon a December by Emilie Pandolfi 

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Dateko (Pile 4) 

Personality- what is kind of person is your soulmate 

The Lovers: this card has come out in ⅗ piles today so you may have been drawn to more than one school banner. With the lovers card I can definitely imagine your soulmate to be passionate and romantic and wants to recreate all those cute couple things you see in the movies. They have a flair for the dramatics and can be naturally creative people. They are smooth operators when it comes to flirting so you might have a couple of pickup lines thrown your way (which by the way are actually good) this is because the lovers card is ruled by the zodiac sign of gemini in which are renowned to have silver tongues, teasing might be there love language. For some reason whilst writing this interpretation all I could think about was the character Tamaki Suoh from Ouran High School Host Club so perhaps your soulmate kins him. 

4 of Pentacles: whilst the other 2 piles containing the lovers card are very authentic I feel like this person sometimes uses their flirty persona as a mask, to protect themselves. Your soulmates are very possessive. I can imagine they have only a select few people who they are really close with and hold them near and dear to their heart. However a good thing about the 4 of pentacles is that this is the card that indicates it’s time to save money so as you can probably guess your soulmate is very good at saving money they may even be a money saving expert (martin lewis is that you). You can bet they know where to get the cheapest things from so if you ever need to go bargain hunting they are your person. I can imagine them being really good at DIY as it is a way to save money. I feel like in the past they may have had low self esteem, you may have also been drawn to Shiratorizawa pile because 4 of pentacles feature in this one too. Probably a tsundere 

9 of Pentacles: Your soulmates tagline is confident, independent and self-sufficient. I believe they were 100% the gifted child at school and are naturally very intelligent, and may have a tendency to brag about this too. I feel like this person can maybe be a little high maintenance and perhaps they are perfectionists also. With the number 9 it means not quite completion (seeing as number 10 represents completion), this means your soulmate is always striving to achieve more. Looking at the three personality cards as a whole I think that missing thing in their life is an emotional connection, they are extremely talented in whatever field they work in however they do find it difficult to make friends because they may be slightly above average in lots of areas of life (High IQ or plays a high level of sports). Whilst they may be show offs when in a relationship with you my goodness do they love to brag about all your amazing qualities. Words of affirmation may be their love language

Astrology Notes: Gemini in their big 3 (sun, moon or rising) with some earth influence 

Relationship- what is your relationship like with them

The Hierophant- this card may represent the strict teacher figure however for you, you will get to see their much soft side. They honestly want you to have all the success in the world and will be your number one cheerleader. With none of the other piles I never really specified ages and such but for this one I get a clear picture that this person may be a bit older than you, they have more life experiences than yourself. The Hierophant represents tradition so of course your soulmate will court you in the proper manner making sure to always respect your boundaries, a true lady/gentlemen. At the beginning stages of your relationship I feel like your soulmate used to excuse of “study dates” to be able to have a proper chance of getting to know you (as we already have established they can be a bit of tsundere). Your relationship is incredible strong and steady, others may describe it slightly mundane however it is the simple things which make this connection really work (every saturday day nights, cuddling whilst watching netflix and honestly the amount of flowers they buy makes your home look like a garden centre). They want to show you the world and want to be relied upon as it boasts their confidence when they can help you with a task. 

I suspect that they might have a Taurus Venus 

How you meet

The Emperor- This card being here for me makes a lot of sense just by looking at your soulmates personality (over achiever and incredibly witty). It is also a major arcana card so this meeting will have a great impact on your life or it will be a vivid memory. The emperor represents organisation, structure and achieving your goals. I can definitely see the pair of you meeting in a work setting in which you may both have to do collaborative work. You may meet your soulmate in a time in your life where you are trying to organise it and come up with a long term plan, maybe at a point where you have to pick your college major or perhaps a lots of job offers have just come in. They may even give you advice. If you are planning on going to grad school then maybe you may meet them there. What I can tell you is that your meeting will not be a relaxing one as the Emperor is a bit of a workaholic so after your first meeting it may be weeks before you both have a proper time to wind down and relax. I also got the image that perhaps you see them as the emperor figure when you first meet them, like they could be your boss or a co worker who is top of the class sort of thing. 

Advice 

: New Moon in Virgo- “A time to give rather than take” 

Gradual Improvements are coming in regards to your soulmate 

Be of service to others and abundance will follow 

Your soulmate is very reliable so try not stress too much 

Make sure to stay organised, eat and drink plenty and have a proper sleep schedule 

Pay attention to detail

Affirmation: “I am capable, hard-working and ready to complete my goals” 

Your Waltz: The Great Fairy Fountain by the Video Game Music Box

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Shiratorizawa (Pile 5) 

Personality- what kind of person is your soulmate

King of Pentacles- Ambitious, protective and calculated, these are all words to describe the King of Pentacles and in turn your soulmate. Your soulmate is somebody who is extremely driven and has lots of success in their life however this didn’t come from blind luck. They are a very responsible figure and are definitely involved in some leadership role most likely to do with their career. The king is a generous provider so I’d imagine your soulmate has an abundance in wealth, sugar daddy/mummy vibes, gift giving may be their love language because I do feel like they have a serious and aloof disposition. Do not be alarmed by this, they are very caring people however they do an “image” to maintain but if you are close with them you may see them in a more real light. Whilst I was typing this description all I could think about was Kyoya Ootori from Ouran High School Host club so perhaps your soulmate kins him in some shape of form. 

5 of Cups- This isn’t exactly the happiest card in the deck but one that means disappointment and having trouble letting go. I feel like your soulmate in the past has been disappointed by people, perhaps they have left them or betrayed their trust, looking at both of these cards I feel like it might have been because they found it hard in their childhood to form emotional connections. This is not to say they cannot do this I believe it just takes time with this person, however you know what they say- slow burns are the best. A message popped into my head when thinking about this aspect of them, I believe they have a hidden creative talent in which they learn to express their emotions through that, the piano was a striking image but it could be art or any other form too. I feel likethey are perfectionists but only because they believe you only deserve the best from them, very touch starved like please give them a cuddle it will make them melt. I feel like over time and as they have grown up they have a realistic kind of approach to the world. Whilst writing this I felt incredible sad for this person, my heart goes out to them

 4 of Pentacles- aka the tsundere card, this card makes sense in this in the personality part. This person is incredible protective and loyal to their loved ones as I believe it is hard to get to know them at first but once you do you have one very loyal “bodyguard”. These people are very money savvy and for some reason I can picture them having a career in finance or economics. Can perhaps be a bit frugal with themselves and don’t like to treat themselves often but love to pamper others. This person likes to be in control in all aspects of life and has a very commanding aura about them (which I think is incredibly hot), I believe it brings them a sense of comfort. Lastly whilst they may find it hard at first to be more open more emotionally they are the most helpful souls on the planet when it comes to career, education or even just general organisation, I believe it gives them great joy to help others out in this area as not only does it boast their self-esteem but they love seeing the smiles on other peoples faces. 

Astrology Notes: Capricorn in their big 3 (Sun, moon or rising) and may lack water placements in their chart

Relationship- what is your relationship like? 

They may have Aquarius Venus or Venus-uranus aspects so check those out for more info 

The Fool- the minute I drew this card I literally squealed and had to take laps because this card compared to the personality spread were just so opposite. To but it briefly you make them act like a bit of a fool (not in a bad way), like they are very blushy towards you and at the beginning stages they would get so flustered if you held their hand it is simply adorable. Looking into this card, the fool represents new beginnings, adventure and idealism. You bring new hope into their life, you know those soulmate AUs where everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate and the world turns to colour. I feel like emotionally that is what happened to them forming a union with you. You bring the fun and zest into their life, offering them a chance to relax instead of doing work all the time which they are forever grateful for, you definitely make them feel young again. Not to be sappy but I do believe you have turned their life around, the fool represents new beginnings so your connection will be a massive turning point in this person’s life. Of course, the fool represents fun too so this relationship will be filled with adventures and lots of funny memories, I feel like the pair of your friendship groups will get on really well and that you too will love to tease one another or even give the other a playful kiss. I just sense an incredibly low maintenance light hearted energy and I believe that is a great way to sum up this connection. You free them. 

How will you meet

The Tower- looking at this card with the fool card they both make a lot of sense seeing as once rules Aquarius and the other rules Uranus. Whilst the Tower does represent chaos I believe it doesn’t mean bad chaos in regards to your meeting. The tower is very random bringing in live events which change your life, I believe you will meet your soulmate in the place you least expect it the most, like the most random location you could possible think of, a couple that came to my head was the Supermarket, in a Bank or at bagage reclaims (these were just some random locations that pooped into my head when writing this). However this card can also be an indicator of you meeting this soulmate at a time in your life where you are having a massive change, like you could move abroad to a random country, start a completely new career or just when you do something that is a little crazy. Perhaps you are going through something that is chaotic and your soulmate helps you sort it out. With the tower card the possibilities are endless but what I can tell you is that you will very shocked (in a good way) and it will be a meeting you will never forget

Advice

: Mutable Moon - “Nothing is set in stone” 

Staying adaptable is the key to success 

Make sure you have not become too distracted in your day to day life, stay focused 

Stay with it ( don’t lose hope) 

Don’t let others lead you estray, your intuition is high listen to that gut feeling 

The situation is far from being finalized you have the power 

Affirmation: “ I know the best will unfold for me” 

Your Waltz: Merry-go-Round of life by Nuvo Orchestra 

[youarerageandserenity]

Borderlands Foam Wig Tutorial (Tyreen)

I was chatting with the lovely @void-noises-exe​ and it eventually circled around to offering to make a wig tutorial because you don’t see too terribly many, just thought I’d throw mine out ( especially because It was next to impossible to find good references of a foam version of Ty’s hair.) So this will be for foam wigs in general but Tyreen’s hair specifically (with a few pics of my Fiona wig from tales as well because they better accentuate my points) I didn’t plan on making this so I am missing a few pictures that might be helpful but here we go. This will not be short.

Supplies: 

-Craft foam (ideally, in small and XL sheets, but you can make do with whatever size you have available) 

- Spray paint as close to the BASE color of the wig you need (for Ty I used white, for Fiona a medium brown) ideally in a matte. 

- a FUCKLOAD of paints (i use cheap acrylics from the craft store ) in Black, and then several shades of the colors in the hair. (For Fiona i used i think four browns? Tyreens shaved sides have three browns, and the top had an additional yellow-brown i mixed) try to vary them in darkness levels to add depth.

- multiple paint brushes. I like to use around four or five of varying sizes and hardness levels.

- plenty Hot glue, and a hot glue gun (note: you COULD use other typres of adhesive, I like hot glue because its got great hold on foam, it sets FAST and worst case scenario I can take a hair dryer to it and melt it again if I need something to be undone.)

- scissors

- duct tape

-plastic wrap

-sharpie

-wig head

-Plenty of reference images

(optional supplies include a rotary cutter and or exacto-knife [trust me, itll make your life so much easier] ,  and patience. )

SO to start

1) Put your hair in a wig cap or however you plan on wearing it under your wig. Wrap your whole hair bit of your head in plastic wrap. Make sure you get over your ears and the baby hairs on your neck if you want to keep them. 

2) Wrap all the plastic covered bits in duct tape. This is easier for a friend to do on you, but not impossible to do alone, just make sure to get it all. It should be snug. Make sure you get as far down the back of your neck and down your sideburn area as you can. (Most characters have a bit of fringe hanging down in the back so its not the BIGGEST concern for them, but Ty’s got nada so you’re gonna want some good coverage for your hair line.) 

3) Take your sharpie and draw an outline of where your ear is, and along the hairline you’d like your wig to have. For short haired characters you dont want to cut too far behind the ear or your hair will peek out, so I like to underestimate how big my ear is and adjust as needed later. Dont make your wig hairline too high either, particularly if you’re making a wig for a character who has no fringe in the front. 

4) Take that bad boy off and cut along your outlines. Try it on again, adjust lines as needed. rinse and repeat. 

5) once you reach a semi-accurate mold of your head, you’re gonna wanna take it off and cut AT LEAST 4 (front, back, and both sides (I like to do 8, it will lay flatter) sections,coming to a point at the crown of your head. It should come out looking something like this. NOTE : they’re all still connected in the middle. If you’re doing 8, cut each of these 4 in half. )

6) Lay out your foam beneath this. If you dont have a piece of foam big enough to trace this bad boy onto, what I do is literally just break out the hot glue gun a bit early, glue a couple pieces together along the edges, until i get a nice big connected surface. Trace this guy on there as accurately as you can, cut it out, and then glue all your sides together. Now you should have a foam version of your duct tape hat. 

(Dont worry if the sides wont stay down, if you’re doing a character like Ty where thats an issue, we’ll get to that part later. ) 

7) (Optional but VERY helpful) Grab your wig head, and your duct tape head. Tape the duct tape back together and put something in it to make it hold shape, I use poly-fil. Tape the head-form to the wig head, and put your little foam cap on top of that. 

8)  Time to get creative. You’re gonna want to start from the bottom layers first. For Tyreen that’s the long fringe and her undercut. The strategy I decided on was to take a few large rectangular strips of foam, and lay them out everywhere I wanted the undercut to be and cut along the edges to match the hairline. I don’t have a picture of this exact point in the process but I have one from the beginning of the next step. Really the only thing to note at this point is obviously, your head is round and rectangles are not, for the curves where it sticks up along the edges, cut down where it sticks up in a little triangle and hot glue the ends together (you can sort of see this at the top left in the picture below). Dont worry about seams at this point, we’ll hide them later. 

9) This was not the case for Fiona who has very flat hair ( especially because of her hat) but Tyreen has a lot of volume especially towards the front of her head. For hair pieces that need volume, such as the ones that are glued down here, cut two of the exact same foam piece (i like to do them in little waves like the side, but also just a little arch is good for volume without flips such as the front piece) and glue the matching edges together. Make sure the hair triangle is facing the way youd like it to! Then Flatten out the top as much as you can, the bottom will keep the volume and the top ill be able to be covered by “2D” hair pieces. 

(NOTE: Honestly, it’s REALLY difficult to end up with an exact copy of cannon, and I ALLLLWAYS get carried away with the spikes. In the end, go by your reference images, but also follow your heart. Cosplay is half about having fun creating. )

10) Once youve started gluing, make sure to keep in mind where your part is (if you have one). For Fiona i didn’t trust myself so I glued in the hair at the part BEFORE anything, and left them ready to be glued down while I worked my way up to them. 

NOTE: All the hair at the parts of BOTH wigs is a single piece of foam.You want a nice wide base whenever possible to cover up the seams of all of the other edges of the hair. For your part, Carefully glue along the very end of your strip of foam and stick it down. It will be the last piece to be glueddown on top of everything else to make it look nice and clean. 

11) Slowly start working your way around the head, gluing down first anything that will need to be covered (3D pieces and bottom pieces) before getting towards the top where youll need to be more strategic about what is going down and what can cover your edges. I’d definitely recommend mixing 2D and 3D pieces if that’s something you want to experiment with, otherwise, such as in the pic below, it is possible to get volume from a 2D piece, simply by gluing it in a way where it wont lie flat against the head. 

12) in the picture above you can also catch a glimpse of Ty’s cow lick. Those are done exactly the same as our 3D pieces from before, only you trace the edges of the open end, and should end up with a triangular third side to be glued in, then just glue along the edges just like the hair part. 

13) Dont feel you have to overdo how many pieces the hair has, remember you may also paint in pieces and designs when it comes to the line-art! 

14) Once you’ve added everything from the bottom that you’d like to, go ahead and glue down your hair-part. 

15) So, obviously, I wasn’t a big fan of Tyreen’s undercut just being flat foam across half my head. So I took an exacto to it for what felt like years. REALLY over-do it on the edges, it’ll get rid of that harsh foam line and give it a little more of a natural blend. Also pay special attention to all of your seams in the foam. The more distressing there is there, the less youll be able to spot lines later. 

16) So once you have the overall structure of your wig and you’re thinking you might be happy with this, its spray paint time. (I’d recommend disposable gloves for this, you’re gonna need to maneuver it every which way to get the pain in every cranny and that paint does NOT like to come off easy.)  Theres really not much advice I can offer on it, just be patient, and do a couple layers, spray it from every angle and let it dry completely before moving on to the next step unless youre as impatient as I am and dont mind ruining a few paintbrushes. 

17) So, like the Fiona pic a few back or this one here, you should have a fairly flat evenly painted foam sculpture. Now is around the time you might start seeing all the inaccuracies in what you’ve made. You gotta push past that it’ll look great I promise. Time to get really creative. 

18) for Ty I started by painting the buzzed bits in a base brown, and started in on the line art and her roots while i waited for it to dry before going in with two more colors of brown for depth. 

19) For her roots I ended up using three colors. Black at the very bottom (which blends into the line art) a dark brown that matches more or less the buzz, and then after the fact, a custom yellowed-brown to blend better into the white and give us a little more texture. For this and the rest of the cel-shading in the hair, dab your brush before painting and try to mostly stick to light strokes in one direction (OR: if you have one, a particularly hard bristled paint brush does wonders for this) you don’t want the ends of your strokes to be too defined. 

20) Outline the edges of the hair and all prominent pieces, particularly the hot-glue seams, itll make them less noticable. (dont forget the little animation squiggles for Ty’s sides) and beyond that-- honestly, black out to your hearts content. These pics are from when I thought I’d finished. I really felt I’d over detailed. The next day I looked at a picture and realized there is always WAY more texture and outlining than I feel like I see. Honestly, you cant really over-do it, especially with fine solid black lines. 

21) The next day I came back at it with the yellowed-brown and LOTS more solid black lines. (Currently in the process of taming down where I got too excessive with the spikes on the side) 

22) Once it’s all dried, time to try on. Here’s where we address if you have a short haired character, and the edges of your wig just wont stay down -- invest in a little theatrical grade spirit gum. It’s not too terribly expensive, and unfortunately, I tried the cheaper halloween makeup kind, and it just wont hold how you need it too (and please for my sake, also make sure you get spirit gum remover) I took some hair gel (you could also use elmers glue) just to glue up as much of my hair as I could on the sides and the back of my neck to keep them from the spirit gum, and dabbed it along all of the prominent edges of the wig (namely, side and back) wait for it to get a little tacky and stick that MF-er down good. 

Aaaaand Voila??? 

Let me know if I missed any steps? Its fairly simple, once you get going -- just time consuming. 

[straykidsupdate]

Stray Kids Make Their Mark In NYC With World Tour "District 9: Unlock"

Nestled underneath the majestic Madison Square Garden in New York City lies Hulu Theater — a smaller, more intimate performance venue where every seat is given a front-row view. It's here, on January 29, 2020, where Stray Kids began their journey across the USA for Stray Kids World Tour "District 9: Unlock."

Bright lights on the ceiling of the venue illuminated the crowd below, but it's nothing compared to the hundreds of Stray Kids lightsticks, coined najimbongs, that many in the audience held in their hands. Fans sang along to Stray Kids songs while they waited in anticipation for the 8 idols to take the stage.

A theatrical VCR introduced the start of the show, much to the audience's delight. Screams grew louder as their biases appeared on the screen, and peaked when the screens separated to reveal Stray Kids. They were there. They were real. Yes, it was absolutely happening.

If you thought this would be an easy-going, relaxing concert — do we have news for you! Energy levels began at 325% right off the bat as Stray Kids jumped into a remix of "District 9." And yes, the song can go harder than it already does. The momentum never stopped as they continue on with "Victory Song," "Question," a remix of "Rock," an epic dance break that made its last appearance at KCON LA, and the iconic "Side Effects." We have to commend these boys and their energy: there were no breaks in between these high-impact performances.

"We worked really hard to unlock this world tour for you," Changbin shared after the group made their cheery introductions to the crowd. It was no lie — just within eight months since Stray Kids held their last USA tour, the group has accomplished so much. Seeing their fans, known as Stay, as many times as they can is unmistakably one of their top priorities. How can you tell? If you've seen the way their eyes shine as they stare into the audience, you wouldn't doubt the love they have for Stay one bit.

To counter the tenacious impact of their first few stages, Stray Kids brought about a chiller, more laid-back atmosphere with "M.I.A." Though no choreography accompanied this performance, Felix surprised the crowd by dancing to "Renegade," a dance trend that went viral on video-based social networking app TikTok. This is one honorable mention from the show that will go down in Stray Kids history.

The first unit stage followed — Hyunjin, Lee Know, and Felix wowed the crowd with a deeply seductive performance to "Wow." Yes, abs were involved (thank you, Felix). The trio, known to fans as Danceracha, effortlessly dominated the stage with their presence. Leader Bang Chan later designated their performance as "sexy time," and we have yet to see the lie in that statement.

"Mixtape #4" was the next song off the setlist, and many were not prepared for the emotions that the song brought: with its lyrics, Stray Kids assure us to keep moving forward despite difficulties that we may face and to know that although we might feel alone, we never really are. During Felix's rap, Stay united as one as they shouted: "Stray Kids nine or none, we're gonna cross the finish line," though there were only eight standing on stage. The amount of love and adoration held in the venue visibly grew after that point.

It was time to "Get Cool," and what better way to fill the "Awkward Silence" than with the fun, cheeky performances that followed next? Members chased and tickled each other — youngest member I.N. being the most popular target — and interacted with the crowd during these upbeat, cheerful tracks. It's moments like these were the relationship between Stray Kids and Stay truly show their colors ��� not only through the laughs shared or cheers exchanged but also through the concerned gasps from the crowd as they watched Hyunjin fake-throw Seungmin into the audience. But hey, I'm sure Stay would have caught him if it really happened, right?

Let's take a moment to think about the VCR that played next. Picture this: Stray Kids take to the streets, wielding weapons and destroying virtual buildings in the most magnificent way possible. Is this symbolism for Stray Kids fighting the system, taking it into their own hands, and building a district of their own? Or is it purely just a group of eight boys wanting to destroy things for fun? Either way, we're all for Stray Kids world domination.

But on the real, the true message that Stray Kids wanted to share came to light in their performance of "Levanter." Stray Kids isn't just the name of their group; it's what they represent. Reflecting on the words both seen in the VCR and spoken by the members, there are lost kids all around the world just trying to find their footing. Together, step by step, they can pave a road to move forward. Here lies the strength echoed in the words, "Stray kids everywhere all around the world."

Sentimental moments were followed by soft ones as vocalists Seungmin and I.N. reappeared on stage in baby blue accented outfits, serenading the crowd during "My Universe." Just as Danceracha appeared for their unit stage earlier in the show, this was Vocalracha's time to shine. Special shoutout to Changbin for his rap verse appearance — though his vocals could potentially land him a spot in Vocalracha, don't you think?

The eight members continued their serene mood with a performance of "Third Eye," complete with the smooth use of chairs as props in their choreography. Chairs made the choreography more dynamic, playing with levels changes and strategic placements that brought the performance to the next level of satisfaction. Speaking of satisfying, Felix's deep-toned rap over nothing but a heavy, rhythmic bass drum is something we can listen to over and over again.

Stray Kids then transitioned into a straight line formation, basked in a cool light as a ballad accompaniment of "I Am You" played softly in the background. Experiencing this song without the choreography gives Stay a completely new perspective of the performance, filled with more emotion and connection than can be explained by words. The feelings intensified as Stay joined Stray Kids with the words "Stay together, you and I."

Stray Kids gave Stay the ultimate whiplash as the stage flipped into one of the most chaotically satisfying performances of the night: 3RACHA finally made their appearance. Basked in red lights (a warning, perhaps?) and dressed in leather detailed jackets, Bang Chan, Changbin, and Han lit the stage on fire with their performance of "We Go." Equal parts playful and chaotic, this unit, formed even before Stray Kids' official debut, really knows how to serve the heat - they're 3RACHA after all.

Following the wave of intensity that 3RACHA SUMMONED, the group reunited as eight on stage to perform a remix of "Road Not Taken" and an extended dance version of "My Pace." They take a moment afterwards to chat and interact with the audience. Han, being the overly excited delight that he is, fumbled with his words as he spoke. He laughed it off by apologizing to the translator, admitting he was too excited.

"I've never heard Stay scream this loud before," Bang Chan shared with the audience, "but I've never heard Felix scream so loud!" Felix laughed along with the entire venue in defeat — apparently, his excitement had gotten the better of him as well.

Changbin's comment felt all too real: "We want to be happy every day, but that's not always possible," he starts, "but I believe we can overcome these things and those hardships will pass like the wind." Bang Chan echoed his words, thanking Stay for their kind comments and for always staying by Stray Kids' side, which in turn started a chant of "we love you's" from the audience. The chant turned into a competition when Stray Kids started saying "we love Stay" in return. Who will win this exchange of love? We'll let you know (if it ever ends at all).

"Make sure to tie your shoelaces twice!" Bang Chan exclaimed as they jumped into "Double Knot." (Does he write his own material? Genius). Just like the beginning of the show, their energy stayed top tier as they lead into "Boxer" and their debut song "Hellevator." The stage production and background VCR for "Hellevator" was extremely impactful, using first-person point of view to transform the theater into a completely different world. It felt like a 3d virtual reality game where Stay accompanied Stray Kids on a journey through the fire and rubble, making their way out of this "Hellevator" together.

Stray Kids' performance to "Miroh" was taken to new levels with the introduction of drums, both as props and a backing beat to the hard-hitting instrumentals that ignite the chorus. An extended dance break made the stage even more exciting, but it also made us wonder how they're still jumping with so much energy. JYP, tell us your secrets, we beg of you.

And just when you thought this concert couldn't get any cuter, the next VCR introduced an interactive game. With games, came prizes — this one being Stray Kids returning to the stage for more performances. The premise of the game was simple: a Stray Kids song played while 8-bit icons appeared in beat at the bottom of the screen. When a clapping icon appeared, Stay had to clap. When a heart icon appeared, Stay had to form hearts over their heads. And, in true Stray Kids fashion, when a dab icon appeared, Stay had to hit the hardest dab of their life. "Get Cool" was the song that played during the practice round, with "Miroh" being the main stage of the game. Cameras panned through the audience, focusing on enthusiastic Stay in the crowd and screening them on the large LEDs on stage. It was a fun and entertaining way for Stay to participate in the show from their seats and also a clever way to get a whole theater to "dab to the left" at the same time. Several members mentioned they were watching the audience from backstage and called us "cute." If that's what it takes to make Stray Kids think we're cute, we might as well play this game all day, every day.

The final stage of the game was "unlocked," prompting Stray Kids to make their way back to NYC Stay, dressed in tour merch and bright blue accessories — Han wore a blue LA Dodgers cap (in NYC? We won't question it, we'll just let him do his thing.) while Lee Know had a soft blue sweater tied around his torso. The lyrics to "Grow Up" appeared in the background, inviting Stay to sing along. There was something soothing about singing the lyrics together, telling each other that you're doing fine, to just take your time, and that you can do it.

The inevitable finally arrived — final ments. It got real deep during Felix's last comments. "Having to express our love for one another — It gets me in the feels and I really want to do so much more for you guys. You're the reason why we are still Stray Kids. I really believe in Stay."

Changbin continued with his own set of sappy love-filled messages. "Now that I'm here with you, I'm so happy and excited. I shouldn't expect anything because you always surprise me! Thank you, this is for you." Changbin shared as he threw a cute finger heart to the crowd.

Before their last two stages, "YAYAYA" and a reprise of "Miroh," Bang Chan expressed his feelings. "As long as you guys invite us, we'll be glad to come back. You gave us the chance to come back here and we were so stoked! We'll give you guys the best 2020 ever, promise. It feels like Stay is a part of our family — it was your show and ours today."

Here's something important for Stay to remember as a takeaway from their show: You not only make Stray Kids stay — you make them grow. You make them succeed. You make them happy. This fan-idol relationship? It's a two way street. But it's a street that Stray Kids and Stay gravitate towards so effortlessly and make their home.

Thank you to SubKulture Entertainment and JYP Entertainment for the chance to experience this memorable night in New York City during Stray Kids World Tour 'District 9 : Unlock.' Make sure to keep supporting Stray Kids!

Don't miss your chance to see Stray Kids live on this tour! Tickets to upcoming locations are still available here: https://www.subkultureent.com/stray-kids

Source: KpopStarz

[im-the-yang-lets-fight]

My thoughts on She-ra season 2

Oh boy, get your seatbelts on my friends, cause this will be a long one!

I just binge-watched the 7 episodes of the second season of "She-Ra and the princesses of power" and I, being the huge fan of the show that I am, couldn't help but want to share my thoughts about it. I'll try to organize this to the best of my abilities, and be warned, there are spoilers ahead.

1. The Plot

This season felt a lot like filler to me, at least plot-wise. There's not a lot of new things going on throughout the episodes, and the things we do learn are near the end of the season and seem like they are the set up for what's yet to come. 

However, the amount of character development we get makes up for the lack of plot (as opposed to the 1st season, where the focus of the show was on its story).

2. The Characters

Without the need to push the story forward, the show took a step back to focus instead on reaffirming the things we already knew about the characters and presenting us with some new depth to them as well. I was pleasantly surprised to discover those characters were exactly like I imagined them to be, which of course only speaks volumes to how well done this show is.

a) She-Ra/Adora

The first few episodes of the season showcase Adora as she trains with Light Hope in other to furder master the powers she possesses as She-Ra (and as you can see by the picture above, she's still learning).

On the later episodes though, the focus shifts to the shenanigans she is up to with the best friend squad and the princess alliance - and it is here we get some tidbits of extra-information and development from Adora.

In the first season, we didn't get to explore this character in depth (which is ironic considering she's the protagonist), but this season we did get to see a little of Adora's emotions and how she feels about dealing with her responsibilities, especially on episode 4.

Not only do we see that Adora is constantly worried about not being good enough and failing like Mara did, but we also see that her time on the Horde has impacted her in a meaningful way, because she deals with that stress like a soldier would: By overplanning and strategizing. 

(OBS.: On the note of Adora being raised as a soldier and still having that integrated inside of her, I think it was clever to show that she sleeps with a dagger on her hand

and that her first instinct about everything is to fight it,

because it contextualizes her "dumb jock" attitude into something more real.)

b) Catra

Since Catra was the emotional focus of the first season, on this one instead of getting development we get a reaffirmation of something everybody already knew, that Catra longes for acceptance and love - that couldn't be more clear then it is on episode 6 (as you can see on the picture above). It is Catra's need for validation that pushes her to help Shadow Weaver even after everything she has done to her, and this is the biggest thing Catra needs to overcome on her/in other for her to have a redemption arc, and I believe Entrapta and especially Scorpia have a huge hole in helping her overcome her past.

This season we also got to see Catra as Hordak's second-in-command, and I think that showed us how unprepared she was to deal with it (even if her violent persistence - allied with Entrapta's inventions - did help the horde gain terrain), therefore reaffirming that she needs to overcome her impulsiveness in other to truly succeed. 

c) Glimmer 

What I loved from Glimmer this season was her scene in episode two where, like it is illustrated in the picture above, she decides to punch Catra after finding out Entrapta is working with the Horde. I like this scene because one of my favorite things in Glimmer is that rage, that impulsiveness she has within her (as a princess she's supposed to always be level-headed like her mother, but her personality is clearly her father's - more on that later), it makes her different from Bow and Adora and - God forbid anyone mentions this to her on the show - similar to Catra.

I also enjoyed her interactions with Frosta, but I'll touch on that later.

d) Bow

Bow's story on episode 7 was one of the highlights of the season, getting to see more of his past and meeting his dads was an absolute delight, and it gives us a nice context on why Bow is the way he is, after all, with such loving parents it is hard not to grow so in tune with your emotions as he is.

Another thing I really loved was to see more of Bow's invertor side, this love for inventions he has is one of the things I wanted to see more of in the series, because I think he has the potential to rival Entrapta (although she will always be the best) and with them now working on different sides of the fight, this will make for an interesting plot-point. Not to mention he might just be the one to show the princesses that magic and technology can mingle. 

d) Scorpia 

If what they did with Bow made me happy, what they did with Scorpia blew me off into space. 

In the first season we did see that she cared for Catra, but this season we got to explore the depth of her feelings and it was magnificent! I can't say they are romantic even if they seem to be coded that way, because not only do I have faith that She-ra would portray them without the coding if that was the case, but also because I have a similar relationship with my best friend (I genuinely consider him to be my soulmate, even if it is platonic).

Of course, you can interpret Scorpia's feelings as you wish, because, regardless of the nature of that relationship, the important part is that I have absolute certainty that it is one of the things that will change Catra.

Just like you can draw parallels between Catra and Glimmer and how they relate to Adora, you can do the same with Scorpia and the Princess of Power (in relation to Catra, obviously). I firmly believe it is this new friendship, absolutely free of comparisons and regret, that will teach Catra about self-love and worth, and how there are people in her life that truly care about her (something I believe she didn't see with Adora because of, well, everything).

Another thing I loved was Scorpia and Sea Hawk being friendly to each other, it is definitely a relationship I want to see more of in the future.

e) Frosta

Of all of the princesses in the alliance, the one I think I loved to see the most was definitely Frosta. Not only is she ridiculously cute, but it was nice to see her step out of her "Ice Queen" persona and into a more carefree version of herself (as the show made clear that is because she finally has friends, and can let her childlike demeanor out more often).

Her relationship with Glimmer is precious and a good reminder that even with everything that's going on, all of them are just kids and teens.

f) Micah

Oh boy, I loved what we got to see about Glimmer's dad when he was young! It's easily seen that he is just like his daughter when it comes to personality (impulsive, eager, skilled but impatient) and I hope to see more of him.

And the fact that he trained with Light Spinner and helped her become what she is today just adds to the lore and I hope to see in the future what he did after that incident.

Oh and, speaking of Light Spinner... 

g) Light Spinner/Shadow Weaver

This season we got a little bit of backstory on Shadow Weaver, however, I can't say I'm that pleased with it. I did like to know how she came to work with Hordak, but I kinda wanted to focus to be on what she wants to do now. The best part for me was her manipulating Catra (and even Micah), that showed a lot about how cunning and perceptive she is, and how dangerous she can become, even without the Black Garnet.

h) Hordak

Last season Hordak was an ominous name being thrown around and a shadow on a screen, but this season we got to see more of him, and I can say I'm pleased. Although next to Entrapta he seems extremely non-threatening (I believe that's because Entrapta herself doesn't realize the danger he can be to her, and that puts him off-balance), with Catra he is very scary looking and I am dying to find out what will be of her after her failure to obey him. 

He also gave us a little bit of plot, with that portal he is trying to construct, I can only wonder what are his intentions and if they involve Adora.

3. Tidbits and Shenanigans 

Now, this wouldn't be a complete report on my thoughts about She-ra, if I didn't mention my favorite things that happened this season, so lets jump right in! 

a) Animation Fails

For the Glimmadora shippers out there, I can only say that I do agree Glimmer and Adora are made for each other, after all, they both rock the "I'm dead inside" look!

• Exhibit A: Adora

• Exhibit B: Glimmer

• Conclusion: 

b) Entrapta being Entrapta

5 seconds later...

c) The only hug you'll see Catra give to the best friend squad for a long while

d) The only hug you'll see Adora give to Scorpia for a long while

e) Do I ship it? I shouldn't

And don't tell me that these two fighting didn't give you a frenemies-to-lovers vibe, even if we do love Sea Hawk. 

f) The table RPG

Everything about it was great, but more specifically...

l) Glimmer's version

ll) Bow's version

lll) Sea-Ra

lV) Adora's purgatory/wet dream

g) Scorpia's love for Catra

(Lonnie's "I can't deal with this shit" face though)

"when you try to have a date but she is too busy thinking of ways to defeat her ex."

h) Glimmer being the voice of reason

 i) Adora's majors

(can someone make a fanfiction where Adora is an overachiever with at least 3 majors? Please?)

j) Light Hope  being weird

k) "Lunch"

m) Sea Hawk showing he knows what's up

n) Horses

o) Bow and Glimmer need to learn to kidnap people

p) And Finally, Catradora

We didn't get many scenes with them, but the ones we got were precious!

• Exhibit A: Hey, Adora

• Exhibit B: Hey Catra

• Exhibit C: You're mine now

OBS.: What I thought after this scene was what Catra said before it.

4. TL;DR

This show is amazing and even if we didn't get much plot-wise this season, the character development and how funny it was makes up for it! Thank you, Netflix, Noelle Stevenson, and everyone else involved in this amazing thing!

[roominthecastle]

Ok so since you’re a believer/supporter of Agnes Gate I have this question. Lizzy’s memories were wiped, but how do you explain Red? What does he know/suspect? How do you explain his behavior? Where does he stand in all this? Hope you got my point because I’m sick and I’ve lost my ability to think clearly and transform thoughts into words 🤒😂

*cracks knuckles*

Yes, you’re coming across clearly, anon, these are all valid points/questions, and I hope you’re feeling better.

Now “believer” is a strong word but I do believe there’s enough wiggle room in current show canon to accommodate this theory. In other words (bc I really don’t want anyone to misunderstand me here): there’s still enough story space for this idea to emerge but there is no direct, overt proof that it is there or that it will.

So consider what follows NOT a proof post but a simple, albeit long AF - thought experiment that presupposes two things:

Liz and Red slept together while on the run (canonically that’s the period when Agnes was conceived)

Liz’s memory of this has been either altered or removed by Dr. Krilov

Now, behavior was, in fact, the one thing that initially put me off this theory bc I didn’t think Red would be willing to just step aside if he suspected he might be the baby’s father. BUT the following seasons revealed a couple of good reasons why he would not speak up (Kirk and the never-ending list of other hostiles, Liz’s “I hate your guts” phase, Liz clinging to Tom, Liz’s selective memory - courtesy of Krilov, fake-DG & the issue of the suitcase, an illness).

They also continued to show just how apt both Red and Liz are to not deal with stuff that’s not an immediate threat (e.g. Liz’s ‘I love you’ which they both willingly continue to just not address), and the thing is: despite not contesting paternity in any overt way, Red never actually stepped aside.

I think this paternity issue and its various complications - from Red’s perspective - can be separated into 4 major time blocks:

S3B

S4

S5A

S5B–present

Even if there’s a reason for Red to think he might be Agnes’ father, I don’t believe he works off anything more than mild suspicions in the S3B–S5A period.

During this time, his relationship with Liz is rapidly unraveling and several other roadblocks and threats emerge that likely discourage him from openly broaching this issue. Then he gets to raise Agnes for 10 months, which provides the perfect opportunity to safely run a paternity test and maybe even another genetic screening (they made a point of telling us that baby Agnes was getting a standard one back in S3 + it was emphasized how having the correct info about her parents’ medical history is crucial for accurate testing - info Tom couldn’t provide). The beginning of Red’s collaboration with Dr. Stark roughly dates back to the time period when he had Agnes with him. If Red has a hereditary (late-onset) illness, he could have been driven to seek a cure once the tests confirmed his suspicions, and he’s now testing it on himself to make sure it works and is safe before giving it to Agnes.

IF.

– more on all this behind the cut – (apologies, mobile users)

- [ S3B ] -

Confirmation of the pregnancy is a wedge between Liz and Red, and it’s Red who screws up first when he rejects the baby right off the bat and tries to bury himself in work. It understandably hurts Liz and the tense tone of their interactions begins to snowball. The main issue concerning Red’s behavior in S3B, right after Liz tells him that she’s pregnant and he bounces back from his initial rejection, is that he becomes “suffocating” and more committed than ever to keep her and the baby in his orbit (which also alarms and later sets off Mr. Kaplan). Red has little sense of boundary, he starts isolating Liz, and he barely tolerates Tom’s presence. When he makes an effort to tolerate him, that’s bc he is trying his best to respect Liz’s choices/wishes (just like in “Ruin”) regardless of his own feelings, but it doesn’t prevent him from repeatedly trying to push Tom out of the picture. He saves him from going to prison but he still has a hard time dealing with Liz having a close relationship with him. This also echoes his original plans for Tom: being there for her but also keeping his distance. This, in turn, echoes his original “invisible benefactor” role he cast himself in (and both of them clearly crossed these lines as the years went by – more on this later).

Despite telling her that he’s known about the pregnancy for some time, Red does not act out until after Liz doesn’t deny that Tom is the father. Red knew about the pregnancy already, he had weeks to vent and get used to the idea, so his spiraling is kind of puzzling unless it’s not the pregnancy itself that sets him off. The only thing he wasn’t sure about was paternity (why?), so the only emotionally logical reason for his weird spiral is that part of him was still hoping that the baby was not Tom’s (tho, in theory, nobody else was in proximity other than the two of them + a more closer look at the timeline reveals that Tom was, in fact, nowhere near Liz when the baby was conceived).

But when Liz didn’t deny it, that’s when it became too much for Red: he didn’t want to have a child (for several reasons) but what he wanted even less was Tom to be confirmed as the father. Then his entire outlook on this subject changes by the end of the episode (after reminding himself how Katarina, too, dreaded having a baby but changed her mind completely). This also brings that Samar/Aram conversation to mind where she tells Aram how being around him changed her attitude towards having children, but now she cannot raise one bc of her condition.

But back to 312 and the “I’m pregnant” moment:

This whole conversation is just weird. Red is tense from the moment he sees Liz at the Post Office, then feeds her the answer to his own question, presenting it as a statement: “I assume Tom is the father.” Why not just give her the opportunity to name him? What this feels like is him giving her an out instead, and his closed-off, prickly, I-am-being-very-inconvenienced-by-this behavior (and Tom’s enthusiasm) is practically willing Liz to take it. And she hesitates for a moment, then instead of saying “yes” she just says, “I haven’t told him yet.” And this is where Red’s barely civil behavior veers into total assholery rejection, then he does a 180 at the end of the episode. By then Liz is sufficiently pissed off and is already pushing him away and sliding back into Tom’s arms. So in many ways ep 312 is where things truly turn and then get worse, and it all happens over Tom, essentially.

After this fallout, we get the episode where Red is thinking back to Josephine who was maneuvered into marrying an abusive scumbag for strategic reasons (as usual, we have parallels too). It was all arranged by a third party, which reminds me of Mr. Kaplan referring to Tom as her “confidant”, which makes me wonder about the extent of their off-screen interaction. Mr. Kaplan was doing everything to tear Red and Liz apart bc she saw that bond as fatal to both and a danger to the baby. Maybe she arranged that 2nd session w/ Krilov (who might have planted images that switched Red and Tom like he did w/ the fire memory where the roles were switched around), then she tipped Tom off, urging him to rekindle his relationship w/ Liz (his proposal was so out of the blue, I still don’t know what to do w/ that).

When Liz wants to give up the baby for adoption, she is told that she has to discuss this with the father, too, as his consent is also needed. Liz says the father is busy with work, then she has 0 conversation about this w/ Tom and goes to Red who, now being very pro having the baby, tries to talk her out of it. He also sabotages Tom’s teacher job and, at the same time, swoops in and presents Liz with a trust fund he set up for the baby, insisting that it’s for the child. As far as symbolic actions go, this one is screaming “I am the provider, not him”. And if it’s not clear enough, he also spells it out by telling her Tom’s not worthy of being her husband and of raising the baby. But it’s too late. Liz rejects him and clings to Tom. She even re-watches the video of Tom being interviewed as a potential adoptive father, which we saw in S1. Liz has been show to chat with potential adoptive parents, so her watching Tom’s adoption agency interview kinda makes it look like she picks Tom to “adopt” Agnes.

S3B is the time period when the threat from Kirk starts emerging. Mr. Kaplan also begins to view Red and Liz’s bond as sth to sever and Red himself as a threat to Agnes, saying that the baby hasn’t even been born yet but is “already paying the price for her association” with him. Then Liz kicks Red out when he asks to see the newborn baby, and soon after Liz’s “death”, Tom tells him that Agnes would only need protection if Red remained in her life. The three of them manage to gaslight Red to such an extent that he completely breaks down. He begins to contemplate ending it all and wanders around, cataloging the reasons.

And that episode-long contemplation is where we get to see (his version of) Katarina in this exact position, her pain at losing the man she loved at a time when there was so much anger and tension btw them, at not being able to raise her daughter, and all her reasoning for committing suicide (all paralleling Red’s). We can also glimpse Red’s innermost thoughts/feelings regarding Liz, Agnes, and Tom. He says “her mother is dead. All she has is the father.” Somehow he cannot bring himself to call Tom “her father” and this is reflected in future real-life interactions w/ Tom as well, when he switches between calling Agnes “Elizabeth’s child” and “your daughter” in his presence. Liz similarly switches btw calling Agnes “my” and “our” around Tom, and initially she refuses to refer to Agnes as anything but “my baby” even after Tom corrects her. It’s almost like both she and Red need some time to adjust. She does. Red? not so much.

Dom further adds to Red’s crushing guilt by reminding him how his choices doomed Liz like they doomed Katarina before. But then he also reminds him that he still has a reason to live as there are others out there who depend on him (“God help them.” - I LOVE Dom). So Red returns to make sure Agnes is safe and to exact vengeance for Liz’s death, two goals which are tied in his mind as he claims that the only way to protect Agnes is by killing Kirk who’s responsible for Liz’s death. He makes a deal with Tom: he lets him participate in the hunt in exchange for being allowed to spend time with Agnes. Again, this whole exchange has a vibe of negotiating visitation rights.

And Red’s interactions w/ Scottie give us a feel for why he will not argue much in the future when Liz decides to pick her to look after Agnes: Red calls Scottie “a brilliant strategist” who - despite Red’s visceral dislike of her - is a suitable “guard” as long as she believes Agnes to be her granddaughter. So not giving any reason to undermine that belief is in the little girl’s best interest (for now).

- [ S4 ] -

This is a period dedicatedto the overarching theme of “truth vs. appearances”, and we have afew interesting ideas and info snippets introduced that can help furtherexplain Red’s behavior if (he suspects that) Agnes is his.

First of all, we meet Kirkand gain some insight into the relationship dynamics of the past - dynamicswhich reflect those in the present.

Mirroring is a curiousfeature that’s utilized right at the beginning, in 401. It’s briefly touchedupon (here) but what makes the Red-Kirk-Liz scene especially interesting isthat the mirroring btw this exchange and the Red-Tom-Agnes one in “CapeMay” is not merely visual but also verbal, giving some weight to thesuspicion that they are linked by design. In both scenes we have the“designated dad” in a room with his daughter while the real father(Red is not Liz’s father but in 401 he “stands in” for real Reddington) is separated and looking in from the outside. On top of that, the dialogues are verysimilar, too:

Red (401): Are you okay? || Red (319): She’ll need protection.Kirk (401): Unlike you, I’d never hurt my own daughter. || Tom (319): Only ifyou are in her life.

And to push it even further,Kirk’s words (“What I desire is to raise my child. To watch hergrow.”) reflect Red’s innermost wish he voices in 319: “ I’d giveanything to be a part of that child’s life […] see her, hold her, watch hergrow.” And this also echoes Liz’s fantasy she shares with Red when theyare on the run. And Red’s retort to Kirk in 401 (“She was never yours toraise.”) also matches Red’s dance around the issue of Agnes’ paternity in319 where he refuses to directly call Tom her father, paralleling Katarina’s pain that she feels due to being separated from her daughter.

So I think what we can statewith certainty here is that there is confusion around paternity inboth scenes.

As the season unfolds, we dolearn that Kirk was a “cover dad”, designated as such by Katarina formultiple reasons (that happen to match Liz’s reasons for wanting to“escape” Red in S3 and be with Tom instead):

best chance at a normal life: Kirk did not work as an agent or any kind ofoperative, he had a (relatively) stable life in Russia. Katarina wasmarried to him and they lived together until real Reddington, believing Mashato be his daughter, took their daughter back to the US.

safety: asRed put it, “Your safety was guaranteed because Kirk believed you to behis daughter.” This belief was cemented in by a fake DNA report andentries in Katarina’s journal where she writes about their relief that Mashawon’t be exposed to the genetic illness that plagues Kirk’s family as it canonly be inherited by sons.

“no other path”: despite loving Reddington, Katarina accepted that she was never gonna endup with him. The circumstances were forever against them. This is why she began distancing herself from him and this is why she didn’t want to know ifhe was Masha’s father.

If Katarina had written apro/con list for her baby, I bet it would have looked a lot like the one Liz wrote, exceptit would have said “Kirk????” instead of “Tom????” But, as Redtold Liz, being Katarina’s husband didn’t make Kirk her father, which is apotentially relevant observation given how Liz kept trying to marry Tom at allcosts to force a “normal family” into existence that was never more than anillusion + how she was trying to distance herself from Red.

Those three main reasons abovealso provided the motivation for a cover-up that Kirk refused to acceptas the truth until multiple tests confirmed it when he fell ill and needed agenetic donation from a blood relative. As Red pointed out, “You saw whatKatarina wanted you to see.” This also echoes Mr. Kaplan’s words to Red atthe end of S3: “You saw what we needed you to see.” which might godeeper than “merely” faking Liz’s death and could be a hint at Kaplan’srole in arranging the 2nd memory manip session with Krilov.

In this season, Red alsostruggles with appearance vs. truth, with the cost/benefit ratio of deceptionsand false assumptions. This happens indirectly when he “auditions” hisnew cleaners in a pristine white apartment where one of his friends wasmurdered. He is both upset and marvels at how clean everything looks –“your cleaners removed even the memory of his blood”.

This practicality takes on asymbolic meaning as it carries over into Red’s relationship with Mr. Kaplanwhom he calls his confessor: “every trespass I committed, expunged.Cleansed as if it never happened.” Mr. Kaplan claims that Red betrayed Lizand held her “emotionally hostage”. These are rather extreme accusations… unless Red and Liz slept together while on the run and Redconfessed this to Mr. Kaplan. Now that act could be easily and understandablyconsidered trespassing by her, a crossing of a line that never should have beencrossed (= a betrayal). Red felt rage when he learned that Tom had become intimate with Liz. He considered this a betrayal, too, and Tom an immediate threat. He went about correcting the situation the same way Mr. Kaplan goes about correcting Red’s behavior in S3B-S4. Perhaps the trigger was the same type of trespassing too.

Mr. Kaplan makes it her mission to separate Liz and Red,and it all begins back in S3, around the time somebody hired Dr. Krilov to takecertain memories from Liz. Red is very close to directly confessing his feelings for Liz in 302. If he ended up confessing that he’s in love with her and they ended up in bed, that can be considered “a truth” about him that Liz uncovered – a truth that someone who doesn’t want them to be together would definitely object to.

Mr. Kaplan urges Liz to “do what yourmother never had the courage to do: walk away from Raymond.” IF Red and Liz slepttogether and Agnes was the result, then Dr. Krilov’s 2nd memory manipulationdid what Red’s cleaner(s) did in the white apartment: the “trespass” got “expunged”. Even the memory of it.Truth became elusive and assumptions took its place (like “I assume Tom is thefather.”).

Red is trying to complete a white puzzle in the white apartment,which takes on potential relevance after we can hear him compare memory toa jigsaw puzzle in 514. The possible relevance? Maybe he’s wondering (puzzled, if you will ;) why Lizacts as if nothing happened between them on the run, as if her memory of it were wiped clean. And while it is undoubtedly simpler and safer thisway, and it’s best to leave that topic alone, it is hard for him to accept, esp with Tomin the picture and taking on roles Red wishes to be able to fill, roles Liz now rejects him in.

In this episode we can also hear Gale make a pointed, suggestive remarkto Liz about her time with Red in S3A: “What was it like on the run withhim? Did he charm you?” And all this happens while Mr. Kaplan is hell-benton tearing Red and Liz apart for the sake of all of their safety, claiming thatRed’s presence in their lives is a threat to Agnes, Liz, and also to himself.

Memory manipulation - or the presence of holes in one’s memory - has itsown “footprint” in the show. It usually manifests as images drifting outof focus and echoing voices. There are two instances where this happens to Liz with no apparent reason. One is in 308 when she is in a gas stationbathroom - already pregnant - staring at her reflection in the dirty mirror. The other is in 317when Red marches towards her in the church, calling out her name and interrupting her and Tom’s wedding -both are situations where her baby’s father and her husband are likely on her mind. In317 she even connects the two by saying she wants to build a life with thefather of her child and Red keeps pleading with her to not marry Tom.

We are periodically reminded that Red is a Proust fan, and Proustjust happens to be the author of À la recherche du temps perdu (In Search of Lost Time) - a monumentalexploration of the various connections that web reality, perception, and memorytogether. The concept of involuntary memory originates from this novel series,and we can see this in action on The Blacklist, too, when Liz’sburied memory of the night of the fire gets triggered in 222. It’s also possible that she was close to being triggered in those twoscenes mentioned above, and maybe she won’t even need Krilov’s help in regaining the memories she’s lost the 2nd time as they could also be triggered unexpectedly by the smallest, most random thing - a smell, a taste, a voice, a gesture.

The white apartment incidentalso coincides with Liz, Agnes, and Tom moving to a new apartment. Redhas a hard time adjusting to this change, to no longer being able to see Agneswhenever he wants (and he was visiting her regularly while they were in his safe house, always showing up w/ the request to see her in particular), which brings the downside of deception into focus: separation. And Redstruggles with this despite understanding the safety that lies in it and inhiding truths - something Katarina knew a lot about, as well.

It’s not surprising that he soon starts musingabout the importance of truth (in 412):

“You said something before. The truth doesn’t matter, that the only thing in this world that matters is just the appearance of truth. I fear you might be right about that. Lately I find that the truth has become… so elusive. Often imaginary. But in the end, it’s all that we’re left with, isn’t it? What is real, what you can taste and touch and feel. The words that pass between us as we look each other in the eye are… all we have to hold on to. The truth. I hold it dear.”

then he proceeds to make a cuckoo clock forAgnes in the following episode (x, x). His first remark on how he is no longercomfortable with the idea of dying at any second also pops up in 412, and itgets reaffirmed in 415, in the same episode where the bad guy of the weekexpresses the same sentiment: his reason for clinging to his miserable life is fatherhood andhe wants a family even if he is barred from being physically present in their lives.

Red faces this issue, too. Tom remains Agnes’ (designated)dad and Liz’s husband while he is now kept away. He stillkeeps prodding that family unit, though, keeps teasing Tom about his pastand keeps involving him in missions to strip away his thin veneer of “normaland safe” to prove to Liz that she is mistaken about him. (sidenote: Tom also“takes over” the sentiment of Liz - and Agnes - being his future; thisis Red’s “thing”, has been since S1)

Meanwhile, Red keepsflip-flopping between accepting Mr. Kaplan’s accusations and rejecting them (“Maybe I am the person you need protection from.” vs “She was wrong to think Elizabeth and Agnes were safer without me in their lives.”). Hecannot seem to make up his mind as others join the chorus of blaming him forhow badly things turned out.

This is also the seasonwhere Red has an awkward and out-of-the-blue exchange with Cooper about thelatter’s sick daughter (414), and in another ep (404) - one featuring a parentand child sharing the same disorder - Red is asked point blank if he has achild with special needs but he doesn’t answer.

His personal struggle with appearancevs truth, however, is temporarily suspended when Liz blindsides him with the DNA test in 422. Despite his visible discomfort, Reddoesn’t correct Liz’s false assumption because it happens to provide theperfect cover he so desperately needs to find the skeleton Mr. Kaplan unearthed.But this strategic move comes with the price of having to keep his silenceabout Agnes for the foreseeable future. Thanks to Mr. Kaplan’s parting gift andCooper’s (accidental?) “antidote” of running that DNA test and providing cover, Red is now backed into a corner where the only way topreserve his secret is by not challenging appearances.

- [ S5A ] -

this block is nestledbetween two high-impact turning points: the DNA test and Tom’s death. The DNAtest locks Red into a false role, that of Liz’s father, which holds throughoutS5 and to a lesser extent in S6. The only reprieve is the 10-month period duringwhich he gets to take on the role of father in Agnes’ life (=inhabiting thetruth). Liz spends this time unconscious, which I find quite symbolic, as well (her being not conscious of his true role).

The DNA test is both a curseand a blessing. Red undoubtedly enjoys the sudden warming of his relationship with Lizbut he clearly does not enjoy her referring to him as “father”. Everytime it happens, we can see him wince, cringe, or glare in silence. But it happensto be the perfect cover for him to keep searching for the skeleton since it preventsLiz from asking the very questions he doesn’t want her to wonder about.

So Liz confrontinghim with the DNA test closes the window of opportunity Red still had in S3B andS4 to contest paternity. This turn of events also forces him to prioritizepreserving his secret over almost everything else (he is only ready to give it up when he thinks Liz’s life is at stake), so the struggle we can see him having in S4 - the onebtw appearances and the truth - promptly takes a back seat as keeping upappearances becomes the #1 strategic necessity.

That being said, Red still onlydoes the bare minimum (= not denying it outright) to play father to Liz. And this time block brings some interesting remarks about geneticsand secrets, which may have more significance than simply serving as empty redherrings until the impostor reveal hits at the end of the season.

Smokeydrops some comments about being “just like daddy” and having “noway to avoid the family curse” because “DNA is what it is.” Onthe surface this ties into the (beyond grating) tendency of some characters to blame-shiftand refuse to take any responsibility for their shitty life choices. But what makesthis exchange stand out is the wording “family curse” becauseKatarina uses a similar phrase (“this accursed disease that has afflicted his family for generations”) to describe Kirk’s condition.In 506, Tom also remarks to Red that “family secrets” always comeout. And now Red is sick and is in need of a pioneering geneticist’s help to find a cure. Somehow I don’t believe this is all just coincidence. + judging from those (brief) (glimpses) we get at Agnes, she is already a lot like her dad. ;)

Ep 504 in particularhas some curious details because they don’t line up with Red and Liz’s pretendrelationship but they do line up with the idea of Red having “a familycurse” that puts Agnes at risk. In this episode, asoldier gives up her child to get him out of harm’s way, but when the child presentswith an incurable disorder, she takes him from his adoptive parents, thencommits suicide to provide the donor heart needed to save his life. Witnessing this,Red remarks that “given the same circumstances, I’d like to think I’d beas brave as her. I know I’d wanna be.”

And then Tom dies, Liz endsup in a coma, and Red is left to take care of Agnes. If she is his, this 10-month period gives Red the perfect opportunity to finally confirm it and, asI mentioned above, have her tested for whatever disorder he knows he - and thus she too -carries. The timeline is always tricky on this show but by my rough estimateRed invested in Dr. Stark’s gene hacking research around the time he still had Agnes or not long after.

- [ S5B–present ] -

In this period, Red shouldalready have confirmation about paternity, about whether or not Agnes is atrisk, and Dr. Stark is already working on the cure for both. However, theskeleton and all the threats attached are still out there, circling them, and Liz is stillunder the impression that he is her father, which Red cannot push back againstif he is to keep his main secret secret.

We’ve seen how far he is willing to go tokeep his identity hidden, so letting Liz believe he is her father is really notall that out there for this guy. Only life-and-death situations can push him to reveal certain things, so it might be unruly genetics that will end up forcing his hand this time around. If Agnes needs treatment, that’s gonna be tricky to administer w/o somebody eventually noticing.

Red is still in a false role for now but its confines have weakened since he realized that Liz now knows he used to be someoneelse.

WhenLiz decides to go away for a while and entrusts Agnes to Scottie, Red questionsbut eventually goes along with her decision. “It was what youwanted,” he tells her later on. Even locked in his assumed role hecould have dug his heels in and claimed that he had a say in this matter, but he letLiz make the decisions and respected them. It carried way more risk to let her disappear alone than to let Scottie take Agnes, yet Red did not argue and did notrepeat the mistakes he made in S3B when things got so out of hand, Liz began toresent him and he was genuinely worried he was suffocating her. So he did what everybody toldhim to do in S4: he let her - and Agnes - go. And then she came back to him.

But for now, it is best if Agneshas safe distance from both him and Liz. In 520, Red told Jennifer that she was notabandoned but protected. That’s Agnes, too. Red may detest Scottie but he doesacknowledge that she is an excellent strategist with the skills, insight,motivation, and resources to keep the little girl safe. Shebelieves her to be her granddaughter, which - imo - in Red’s book ensures her loyaltyno matter how he feels about her otherwise. And in ep 512, we can see that Redknows exactly where Agnes is and, knowing him, he has his own invisiblemultilayered security web in place, monitoring everyone in Agnes’ life 24/7 and sendingdaily reports to him.

Whenhe and Liz observe Agnes from a distance at the end of the episode, the topic oftruth once again emerges, making it the third time that Agnes and talk of“the truth” co-occur: one is earlier in this episode (“If I misseven one more day with [Agnes] than is absolutely necessarybecause you’re not being completely honest…”)and the other is the cuckoo clock scene in S4. Red tells Liz heknows how hard this separation is and that they want the same thing here, whichechoes his remark in S4 about how they are in lockstep where Agnesis concerned. It also reminds me ofhis stunned reaction when Liz shares her fantasy with him in S3 (“I’mwalking in a park with my husband. Inbetween usis our little girl. I’mholding her hand in mine… and Inever let go.”). They do want the same thing and they are on the same page about Agnes, but everything else is still in disarray. For now, there is safetyin separation and keeping up appearances, even uncomfortable and painful ones.

In 514, Red gives us and Liz areminder when he points out that in the criminal underworld you can neverreveal how important someone is to you without making them an instant target. Theshow continues to provide examples of this specific danger, and the cases thatdirectly touch upon this topic “borrow” elements from Red’s situation: in518, Mosadek’s son is abducted by business associates because they suspect himof being an informant, and in 610, criminals attempt to extort money from a fatherwhose daughter was born premature with a condition to which there was no cureat the time, so the father came up with one.

Ep605 is extra curious because it features the story of a guy who never knew hisfather and only learned about his identity when he was unexpectedly summoned to the readingof his will. Van Ness was fighting an illness, too, and decided to change hiswill to include his only son that nobody even knew about. His last written message to himwas: “I loved your mother but didn’t have the courage to stay withher.” Van Ness’ seat and vote in an international criminal syndicate are also automaticallytransferred to his heir, making him a target for various reasons. It’s also a reminder of what kind of dangerous entanglements thechildren of international criminals have to deal with once their family ties arerevealed. In this episode, we also get a reminder from Aram that “in arelationship, the truth always comes out.” and Dembe continues toplead with Red to be honest with Liz, tell her the truth and leave the rest to fate. Red, however, stubbornly keeps his silence.

Theparallels btw Red/Liz and Samar/Aram also continue in S6, and what Samar tells Aram in 613has potential relevance to deciphering Red’s perspective and reasons for not speaking up about Agnes. Samar says that she made peace with the idea that she was never gonna havechildren (back in S3, she told Liz she picked career over family) but meeting Aram changed everything. After that, she wanted nothingmore than to try and balance the two, to build a family with him. But now that she knows she has anirreversible condition, she cannot raise a child, and she feels he deservesmore than what she can give.

Ifeel all these sentiments also play a role in how Red evaluates the possibilities of hisrelationship with Liz (even if Agnes is not his). His initial reaction to the baby was rejection,remarking that a child would make their difficult work infinitely harder. But then he changed his mind. In 319, he confessed that hewould give anything to be able to raise Agnes but he was also painfully aware of the factors preventing him from realizing this wish.“Your baby deserves more than we can provide,”Mr. Kaplan told Liz right at the moment she decided to separate her from Redfor good. This idea also emerges in 614, when Red notices Liz staring at thephoto of herself with Katarina, and tells her that the photo represented everythingKatarina wanted but couldn’t have after she became a hunted woman. Being a fugitive himself, Red facesthe exact same problem. And now he alsohas an illness to overcome, so him having the same attitude as Samar - i.e. writing himself off as notbeing a suitable match and accepting not being with “the one” - feels right on the mark, imo. Katarina also shared in this heartbreak where realReddington and their daughter were concerned. She, too, had to let go of what she really wanted.

bottom line (bc it’s time to wrap this up): everything that’s happened since Liz confronted Red with the pregnancynews has been discouraging him from “coming out” as Agnes’ father:

initial uncertainty regarding paternity

Liz’s growing resentment towards him that culminated in a faked death

Tom + Liz choosing him over and over again coupled w/ Red starting to accept that Tom somehow makes Liz happy while he only manages to bring pain and hardship into her life

the constant threats and Red’s growing worry that he might indeed be athreat to Agnes and Liz

the unexpected DNA report that was also the perfect cover

Red’s emerging health issues

Liz’s missing memories (without which how would he even begin to explain it or have any hope she will not freak completely or worse?)

But we are in a period now where there is tangible improvement regarding these main issues. Red now knows whether or not he’s Agnes’ father, so that uncertainty is gone. Tom is dead. Liz’s resentment subsided and she knows Red is an imposter yet loves him anyway and told him so. He also knows about Krilov’s 2nd interference that explains some of Liz’s behavior. His illnessis being treated, too. But the risks and threats in their lives still remain. For now they are mitigating this by staying away from Agnes, but if theimprovements hold, hopefully the time will come when this issue of paternity - along with some other questions - can be broughtforth and sorted between the two of them.

[asterinjapan]

Another day, another castle

I mean, I could apologize for the implications of that title, but I wouldn’t mean it, so…

Anyway, good afternoon after a short but no less fun day! Since tomorrow will be very busy and I’ll be making the long trip to Tokyo the day after, I didn’t want to cram too much on my Friday. There was one thing pretty high up on my wishlist, but I’d heard a lot of walking was involved… then again, I’d say my feet have had enough practice now to put up with a shorter day of walking, haha.

And so, I had reserved a ticket last night on the Shiokaze train down for Marugame! And yeah, this is another long report. Sorry, me and castles…

Marugame is one of the first cities on Shikoku if you come onto the island via Okayama and the Seto Ohashi bridge. I had actually passed the station when I went to Matsuyama earlier this week, but since that was such a long trip, I couldn’t combine the two. Since Marugame is a good 40 minutes removed from Okayama, I could sleep a little longer in the morning. Or I could have, if I didn’t wake up at 4 AM, and then again at 6… I kept hearing tinny music, so loud I thought my phone or alarm was malfunctioning, but I think it must have been a neighbor in the hotel anyway. Either way, I was determined to at least rest until 8 AM, so I did just that, haha.

After a good breakfast, I made my way to the station to find the Shiokaze already waiting for me. I noticed all Shikoku bound trains have theme naming: Shiokaze means salty/sea winds, then you have the Marine Liner, and then there’s also the Nanpu (southerly winds) and Uzushio (whirling tides). Train names are very poetic in Japan, haha.

Anyway, the sea wind train brought me to Marugame, where the skies were also grey. I hurried from the station immediately to find the castle. It was super easy, basically one straight road ahead, and then – wham, the castle comes into view. The main keep is rather tiny, but it sits on top of Kameyama (turtle mountain) at 66 meters high, and the mountain has been covered in stone walls. So much so that you can be forgiven for comparing it to a pyramid, actually. These walls are imposing, wow. They’re one of the reasons this castle stands out. Another is that it is one of the twelve original main keeps still remaining, with both Matsuyama castles from this trip being other examples. The main keep is the smallest of the twelve, but these walls might actually be the highest in the country.

Anyway! Just as I made my way through the Otemon gate, it started to drizzle. I was taking out my umbrella already when I noticed the nearby information center also offering something fun, so I figured I’d go in first, if I was going to walk through the rain anyway.

You see, Marugame is famous for the uchiwa fans, and apparently produces about 90% of all uchiwa fans going around. They’re the type of round fans made from bamboo and flat paper, so not the fans you can fold back. And here in the information center, they were making them, still by hand – and for thousand yen, you too can make your own uchiwa fan! Obviously, that sounded like way too fun an opportunity to pass up on (and if you buy a fan, they’re usually around that price class anyway if you want one with a nice print). And so, I applied – and could get started right away!

The bamboo crosspiece was already prepared, so I got to pick the paper I wanted and get gluing. They asked if Japanese instructions were okay, so I said they were if they could speak a little slowly, and they were very accommodating and helpful. I suspect small children want to do this too, so they have some practice with uhm, my current levels of Japanese, haha, but I knew what I was doing now in Japanese! Once the paper was glued on and had to set, I was guided to the area where the crosspieces were created. I received a bamboo handle, and got to cut it into a crosspiece myself! This was kind of tricky, because the instruments are very right-hand oriented while I’m a lefty, but I got hands-on guidance, so I didn’t injure myself as I cut up the bamboo into tiny, tiny strips. After a lot of bending back and forth, the crosspiece was more or less done, and I got to pose for a picture with it after writing my name on it, haha.

My glued fan had dried by then, so I was given a hammer and a sickle to cut it into shape. That’s a good way to get any aggression out, by the way. You trim both the paper and the bamboo parts with the sickle, so you have to beat down that hammer hard. Almost done now! I got to choose a paper hemming and pasted it along the edge of the fan to smooth it and decorate it further, and topped it off with two small pieces at either end to keep them in place.

Now, since these fans aren’t the kind you just stick in your handbag, I got to leave it behind for now while I went on my way to the mountain top. I was given a map, a lot of generous instructions (they really are super kind patient here) and went out the door – to find the last drops of rain had just fallen, and it was dry now. Nice!

I had read warnings about the steep climb, but honestly, after Bitchu-Matsuyama castle and Onomichi these past few days, I was barely fazed, haha. Okay, in all fairness, these are some steep roads, but they’re not that long if you take the quickest route up, and there’s plenty of space in between as you go through the third and second bailey on the way up. There’s even a slope called Mikaeri zaka, which means ‘slope on which you look back’, which you definitely want to, because the view on the walls is great. And the views on the look-out points, oh wow! Of course, the castle was built in a strategic spot, overlooking the Seto Inland Sea. Supposedly Marugame is at the coast of the narrowest part of the sea, which means that no-one could sail here without being seen from the castle top. In the distance, I could spot the Seto Ohashi bridge, as well as the interestingly shaped mountain Iinoyama and tons of tiny islands dotting the sea. In fact, the weather was getting clearer and clearer as I moved up, giving me better views.

Once I’d made my way past the defenses, I had finally reached the main area with the keep – and the sun had come out! I couldn’t believe my luck as I got to take pictures of that sweet, white little castle against a blue sky, the sea in the background. Wow. I don’t know which deity here I have pleased what with the amazing weather I’ve had so far, but I have to find out to give them my offers, haha.

You can enter the keep for 200 yen, which, to be fair, is reasonable considering how small it is on the inside. There’s a small exhibition, with tiles featuring fans on display, and the second floor had pictures up of all twelve original keeps, of which I have seen seven now, haha. Actually, the first version of this castle only existed for a couple of years. It was dismantled in 1615, as a new rule stating only one castle per area was allowed, so nearby Takamatsu castle got to stay while Marugame had to go. After a small fief was granted, there was allowed to be a castle once more, and so, the castle was rebuilt in 1641. Most buildings burnt down over the centuries, but the main keep remains standing.

There’s also a stamp rally going on inside the castle, but you needed to have bought the 200 yen sheet for it back at the information center, which I missed. I’m still a bit sad, because if you collect the stamps in order, you basically created an ukiyo-e painting: layer of color over layer of color to produce a full color stamp of the castle. Lesson learnt for next time!

Since the weather was still nice enough despite the forecasted rain, I took the long way down to take in the sights, as the walk was lovely and quiet. It’s not a super touristic castle, at least not today, although I’m sure the weather and it being a weekday had something to do with that. Anyway, I came across a well at the second bailey, which is apparently 65 meters deep! And since it’s almost Halloween, there’s a creepy story attached to this well.

My pamphlet nicely narrates the story of Juzaburo Hasaka, the stonewall designer who worked very hard and had earned the nickname of ‘Juza the naked’, since he, eh, worked wearing only a loincloth. Thanks for that detail, pamphlet. Anyway, the lord was very impressed with his work, going “ha, now nobody can get over these walls unless they’re a bird!” To which our naked buddy replied: “oh, actually, you can totally climb them. Just give me some iron bars and I’ll demonstrate it, easy peasy.” And so he did, and the lord’s eyes probably all but popped out. (I mean, I know mine would – these walls are high.) Since he was so impressed, the lord then said to Juza: “dear upstanding and oh so naked gentleman, would you please go down this well to do research down there? For, you know, Reasons?” And Juza, ever the hard worker, went down into that 65 meter deep well. For, you know, research reasons.

And then our nice lord promptly threw rocks on him until he died so he couldn’t spill the secret of climbing the walls to the enemy. What a cute little intermezzo! Honestly, I peered down into the well, and that’s – deep and dark, wow. I’m so sorry, Juza the Naked Man. You did an amazing job on those walls, if that’s any consolation.

I’m surprised there isn’t a ghost story about him, but there is another one that my pamphlet also lists. My pamphlet is a little macabre, actually. Anyway, since we’re already at it to keep up the Halloween mood: apparently the construction workers were having a tough time on the castle, as it kept raining, so they were all but about to call it quits when a tofu peddler came by to sell his tofu. “Tofu, tofu!” He kept shouting. I mean, makes sense, construction is hard work, surely they’d want a bite. These workers seemed to hear something completely different than ‘tofu’, or maybe just really hated tofu, I don’t know. Either way, they heard ‘sacrifice me so that the rains will stop!’, which is a lot longer than tofu, but that’s – exactly what they did. They buried him alive as a human sacrifice to the castle, and it is said that on rainy days, you can still hear a muffled ‘tofu, tofu’ coming from what sounds like underneath. That poor guy, cursed to sell his tofu until the afterlife…

Well, it wasn’t rainy and I think the well was located in the area that was closed off for reconstructions (… or was it for reconstructions, hmmmmmm), so I didn’t hear him selling tofu, but I was getting hungry, so I made my way down, through some lovely forested areas filled with tiny butterflies, and crows, and HUGE spiders, and EVEN HUGER hornets, which I quickly ran far, far away from. They had warning signs up, and they were not exaggerating, help. I think I prefer the huge spiders, provided they eat the huge hornets.

Inside the gate I had come through was a small exhibition, so I sped through it (hey, it was free), and then I also came across the front gate of the lord’s residence and the guard house, the kabuto (helmet) rock, before I hit a dead end and finally returned to the information center.

Apparently they had gotten a bit worried I had forgotten about my fan, haha. Nope! Just me losing track of time when exploring castles! I watched as one of the ladies here expertly tied a string through my previously cut crosspiece, and then I got to keep that one too, so I can either stick my own paper on it back home or use it for decorations: they showed me an example of one put up against the wall with flowers pinned through, which does indeed look lovely, so I might just do that. They then realized I’d have to take them back home with me, so they rushed to get some cardboard and cut it to size, giving me some bands to keep it in place. They absolutely didn’t have to go through all that effort, but they absolutely went above and beyond here, wow.

 So that was a really fun day, as you can tell by the length of this report despite it only being 2 PM now, haha. Still, that means I spent around 3 hours at the castle if you don’t count the time I spent on the fan, oops… Needless to say, I absolutely recommend this castle. Sure, the walk up is steep, but the short path really is just that, and there’s plenty of space to catch your breath in between. Dang, I really love the castles I’ve visited so far, plus their surroundings. Thank you castles of Japan for introducing me to lovely cities with lovely people! I got to speak a lot of Japanese today, since I stood out a little as a foreigner making a fan, so a group at the main keep asked me if I was indeed that girl, haha, and we chatted for a bit about my trip.

 Anyway, I still hadn’t eaten, so I picked up lunch at the convenience store at the station and hopped on the Nanpu train with it. This one is just as fast and brought me back to Okayama, where skies were getting grey. I think I felt the first rain drops as I made my way to the hotel, so I am really lucky, whoa.

I’m gonna get an early night so that I’ll hopefully be well-rested tomorrow (I’ll wear ear plugs if I have to, stupid tinny music), since that will be a busy, busy day, but also very fun. And then it’s off to Tokyo already! Time really flies. I always look forward to Tokyo, although I’m not sure how many of my daytrips from there can actually go through. But you know what? I’ve already been so, so lucky, I honestly don’t dare to complain. And if all else fails, I definitely know how to entertain myself in Tokyo for a week, haha.

Good evening for now, and see you tomorrow! (Or Sunday, if I’m too worn out to type out my report, haha.)

[aroundtheworldinsearchofcoke]

Day Twenty: Big Engines

https://aroundtheworldinsearchofcokev.blogspot.com/2019/07/day-twenty-big-engines.html

Now that’s a sight, isn’t it?

There are few things on Earth quite as exhilarating as a big Pacific (that’s a 4-6-2 for those not in the lingo – four front bogie wheels, six driving wheels, two trailing wheels.) To have imagined these thundering along main line railways, on crack expresses to Edinburgh, to Glasgow, to Dover and Bournemouth; it’s hard to comprehend in this day and age. Thankfully we have these preserved examples to show the world the sheer size, the scale, the majestyof these beasts of

wait no, Lapis, Lapis step out of the camera Lapis, I’m trying to hoodwink the audience Lapis, you…

…oh never mind.

So we the left the Hague very early this morning, for obvious reasons – it’s a four hour drive through Belgium to get to Calais and the Channel Tunnel, then a two hour wait before you can actually get on the Shuttle in a terminal that has a duty free shop and a Burger King – so not so great if you’re not interested in the same bottle of perfume they sell in every duty free ever.

After crossing back over the Channel to Britain (and because I am who I am, I had an argument over the semantics of calling Dover ‘Britain’ or ‘England’ – it’s both, obviously, but if you land at JFK airport you’ve gone to the US, not specifically New York State, right?), we headed up the winding lanes of Kent to New Romney, to perhaps one of the most delightful of Britain’s many steam railways.

The Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch Railway is not a preserved railway. It is a fully operational public railway, a serious enterprise created by serious men. The brainchild of Captain John Edward Presgrave Howey, race car driving landowning millionaire army captain, and Count Louis Zborowski, race car driving car engineer, the idea was to build a fully-working railway for no reason other than the fact that they were British, they had the means and they jolly well could. There was just one catch – it was at a gauge of fifteen inches, using locomotives that were one-third the scale of a normal ‘standard gauge’ engine.

This was not a joke. This was a completely serious, straight-faced endeavour. This is what makes the thing as delightful and glorious as it is.

The Count died in a racing accident before he could see the project fulfilled, but Howey – now assisted by Henry Greenly, who the RH&DR website calls ‘the leading model engineer of his day’ (a title that I’m sure had much competition) – opened the railway in 1927. They began with two locomotives, Green Goddess and Northern Chief, which were essentially scaled-down versions of Nigel Gresley’s famous A1 Pacifics. (By all accounts Gresley seems to have been flattered, and later donated a chime whistle used on the later A4 Pacifics to the railway.)

During the Second World War, the railway, being strategically located on the south coast, was taken over by the Ware Department and an armoured train was built to patrol this vital route. Again, this was a one hundred percent serious endeavour. It was also used in constructing the vital oil pipeline (the Pipe Line Under The Ocean, or PLUTO) that supplied the Western Allies with vital fuel. So yes, Captain Howey’s insane miniature railway was in fact a major part of Allied logistics during the liberation of France.

Can you tell I love absolutely everything about this?

We didn’t ride, unfortunately, as time constraints were an issue, but I managed to see and take pictures of No. 2 Northern Chiefand No. 8 Hurricane, both Greeley originals, as well as one of their two diesels, J B Snell.I also took a look in their model railway exhibition, which is honestly worth visiting on it’s own, and at only two pounds to enter is an absolute bargain.

After that brief delight, it was time to get back to Bedford, via the M20, the Dartford Tunnel, the M25 and the A1/M. It’s the driving equivalent of a visit from the Spanish Inquisition.

Tomorrow it’s a day in London, and I have a few interesting things lined up to do in the Smoke…

[legaltestready]

BEFORE TAKING YOUR MS WORD HANDS-ON SECRETARIAL OR WP TEST

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We have lived through all shifts and thousands of hours of situational experience as coordinators, help desk personnel, in house trainer, and IT personnel. Our training is designed to get one up to speed quickly so that they can compete with others vying for jobs in the top-tier of the legal industry.

NOTE: THIS IS NOT PREP FOR THE PROVEIT TEST! YOU CAN FIND PLENTY OF HELP ON YOUTUBE FOR PROVEIT.

Here is the possible scenarios that would have you going to take an MS Word Hands-On Legal Secretarial or WP level test.

1. You are about to take a hands-on MS Word Test at an agency or law firm for a great new job opportunity.

2. You have been working at a particular firm for a long time and you are using third party software. You lose that position and are forced to go out and test. Your genetic skills are no longer there. 3. Finally, you are new to the industry, you have worked hard to get to a certain level and you now have to test.

•I have put together this book as a thorough and strategic guide as to what awaits a prospective candidate when they go to an agency to take a secretarial or word processing HANDS-ON TEST. This is a situation where you need hand holding and thorough guidance.

THIS BOOK READS AS IF I AM SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!

We give a thorough course on prepping for the test and I am one of the trainers who gives it but I saw the need to put together this book that will give those people who for whatever reason cannot take our 4.5 hour course to still have the ability to be informed in a thorough and concise manner as to what will await them when they arrive to take their test. When you know what is coming it is certainly a lot easier.

•This book is instructive, strategic and does not hold back. No matter where you live, you will greatly benefit. We have seen countless tests from law firms and employment agencies so we know the range of what can be asked of you. We have authored tests of our own so you are in good hands. Everything is explained in detail including all menus and sequence pictures.

The “Teacher Connected” aspect means that you can email me if you get stuck on a particular issue. That is a great thing to have. Access to the author and I will answer you fully.

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[johnconstantinesdick]

Who else is a Faunus in your Team MNAC au? Is Sabrina one? What about Alix?

Sorry for taking so long to answer this!

This is one of those questions I can’t really give a final answer on yet because things are still kind of up in the air. That being said, I’ll ramble on about my thoughts below this, they’re just liable to change later (maybe by a Lot).

So! We know that everyone on Team MNAC is a Faunus:

Marinette is a ladybug Faunus with antennae. Her mother is a ladybug Faunus and her father is human. Her parents were very strategic when deciding where to live, and as a consequence they live in a very Faunus-friendly town.

Nino is a turtle Faunus with scaly patches of skin across his upper arms, shoulders, and back. He can pass for human most of the time. I don’t think I’ve established what the rest of his family is, so let’s say his mother and sister are also turtle Faunus. His father is also a Faunus but I’m not sure what kind yet. His mother can pass for human like Nino, which is something of a bitter relief because she’s a chef and there are a Very Particular set of bigoted beliefs about Faunus and food preparation involving “cleanliness”. Having to hide who she is so she doesn’t lose business is a big weight on her shoulders. Nino’s sister isn’t able to pass; the green patches she inherited from their mother are in much more visible spots (her hands, her cheeks, her ears).

Adrien is a black cat Faunus with cat ears. His father is a butterfly Faunus while his mother was a cat Faunus (though with a blonde fur color; he got his fur coloring from his maternal grandmother). Nathalie is a black cat Faunus like him, though she has a cat tail rather than ears. The Gorilla is a gorilla Faunus, bc duh, but I’m not sure what his Faunus trait is. Adrien has been sheltered from humans his whole life.

Alya is a fox Faunus with the ears to show for it. Her mother and younger sisters are fox Faunus like her (though Ella and Etta have fox tails rather than ears), while her father and older sister are spider Faunus. Their family is from menagerie.

As I’ve mentioned before, Chloé is also a Faunus, with bee wings, and part of her character arc and redemption is learning to embrace her heritage rather than hide it to make her life easier.

Sabrina I’m pretty sure isn’t a Faunus, and she’s not super educated on things like Faunus discrimination. She tries her best, and specifically goes out of her way to learn more when she and Chloé are getting back on good terms.

Alix is Super Fucking Tricky because she has SO MANY SNAKE MOTIFS IN HER DESIGN?? But she doesn’t get the snake miraculous >:\\\ so I’m leaning towards not a Faunus but she has a pet snake and some people don’t really like her so rumors get spread around that she’s a snake Faunus

This isn’t helped by the fact that she’s good friends with Luka, who IS a snake Faunus, so now there are these rumors floating around that they’re illegitimate siblings

Alix sends this to Jalil with no context:

[image description: a very badly edited version of the “friendship ended with Mudasir, now Salman is my best friend” meme. Luka’s face is pasted over the man on the left, and Alix’s is over the man on the right. They are clasping hands. There are two pictures of Jalil with green X’s drawn over them in the bottom corners of the image. The text reads “Siblings ended with Jalil, now Luka is my brother”]

Anyway Luka and Juleka’s father was a snake Faunus and Luka was the only one to inherit Faunus features from him (not sure what—maybe snake eyes (hot) or snake fangs (also hot) or both (very hot)). Idk what happened to their dad—is he dead? stranded at sea? divorced? missing? just has a busy job? gets seasick so he can’t spend much time on the Liberty? IDK!!! But the result is that Luka and Juleka were raised primarily by their mother, and Luka loves her a lot but his mom is human and can’t really Understand some of the stuff that goes on in his life because he’s a Faunus.

Le Chien means “the dog” in french so y’all have no idea how tempted I am to make Kim a dog Faunus but IDK!!!

I know a lot of people like to give Nathaniel the peacock miraculous and so I’m VERY tempted to make him a peacock Faunus with the tail of feathers to match. Why? The mental image of Nathaniel instinctively fanning his feathers out whenever he catches sight of whoever he has a crush on at the moment is VERY CUTE!!

Rose I want to be a Faunus but I’m not sure what kind yet.

Since we’re all pretty sure Kagami is going to get the dragon miraculous, I’m contemplating making her some kind of lizard Faunus or something? But honestly I really don’t want to give Lila anything else to use against Kagami, and I’m like 95% sure that while she’s not fantasy racist, I’m p sure that she’ll use anything to make people she doesn’t like feel bad

Lila’s probably human. I really don’t want to make a character I’m having be kind of a villain part of a minority group. She might try to claim she’s 1/18th Faunus or something tho (lie) like those people who use a small percentage of native descent to claim that they’re allowed to do cultural appropriation

There isn’t a very even ratio of Faunus to humans in rwby canon so I don’t want to go overboard but the fact that all these kids have links to animals is making that kind of hard akdnksndmdn

That’s all I’ve got for now, and sorry if this isn’t super coherent! I’m on a brain fog wave but I wanted to get some of the stuff you’ve sent answered!

Fun fact: that badly edited meme is the first piece of visual media I’ve shared for this au. Idk how to feel about that.

As always, everything for this au can be found under the tag “Team MNAC AU”, and I’m always accepting asks (even if it takes awhile to answer them sometimes).

[emilyplaysotome]

Chapter 3 - The Hard Sell

It’s strange that the first thing I thought about was whether or not I should return to my apartment (now that it was no long inhabited by Zyglavis).

The sentimental part of me wanted to be comforted by all things familiar, but it was for that reason and that reason alone that I pushed myself to follow through and stay at Meg’s. My problem had been that I’d gotten too comfortable, both in my relationship and with other men whose affections towards me felt like a constant.

Between my time in otomeville and my time back home with Zyglavis, I had forgotten what it was to be truly alone. It was unsettling, returning this place where no one was thinking of me. As fiercely independent as I once was, I was now a domesticated version of myself - lost and weak and without a shoulder to cry on.

I had drawn strength from these relationships without even realizing it and now that they were gone I felt as if I was adrift at sea.

I took my phone out and sent a text to each of the otome men in my phone. It was a total Hail Mary on my part, and I had absolutely no expectation that I’d get a reply so when Leon immediately texted back I felt slightly relieved. He and I had never been close or even liked one another for that matter, but knowing that there was at least one person in this world who understood my history reinvigorated my drive to win the king’s new game.

We met a few hours later by his apartment for dinner, and I filled him in on everything that had happened.

“That makes sense,” he mumbled. “The last time I came by your place I could tell that Zyglavis was keeping something from me. It must have been the return of his powers…”

“And yours?” I asked hopefully.

Leon shook his head, “No. I could feel the king’s presence but I am not the God I once was in my world.”

I felt my heart sink as I kissed goodbye access to in-game cheat codes that Leon’s godly version possessed. In the hours before our meeting, it had started to sink in that this was going to be much harder than my first attempt had been at romancing otome men.

For starters, three months was not nearly enough time if you considered the fact that I still had to work most days. In otomeville, my days had been free to research and run about the city as I looked for clues and went on dates before finally getting myself home.

Now, both myself and the men were theoretically working 9-5s, Monday through Friday (if not more) and I still had no idea who that fifth mystery guest might be. As much as I hated it, I’d already re-activated my Tinder account (seeing as how the king had made it fairly explicit that I’d be needing to find the men in this world through conventional means) and I’d also downloaded Bumble, OkCupid, and Hinge figuring that the more apps I was on, the more chances I’d have in finding them.

I had hoped that Leon’s powers were back and that he could snap his fingers and cut through some of the noise, but it was becoming clearer and clearer that I was going to really need to strategize in order to find the most effective plan to locate and win the hearts of these men. Finding them would be only half the battle - I worried not only about the fact that they were all so attractive every woman in NYC was no doubt swiping right and without my advantage I was just another face in the crowd.

There was nothing particularly memorable or beautiful about me, and on apps like Tinder, superficial first impressions remain king. It was for that reason and that reason alone that I shared my profile with Leon. He tapped through my profile photos and with a scoff read my bio.

“No, this will never do. Don’t you have anything more…I don’t know…personable?”

“What do you mean?”

“Look at these - you’re just so…forgettable.”

“Hey!”

“You don’t have time to get upset Goldfish. Think. You need to find 5 men - what do they like? Why would they swipe on you? Right now you’re just another smiling face and you know it. Think.”

As tough as it was to hear Leon validate my feelings, I soon found myself searching for particular photos I knew I had in the annals of my facebook.

I started by finding a photo from 3 years ago at a motorcycle show I’d attended for work when Harley Davison was one of our clients. I hoped Hiroshi would see that and swipe right, knowing how much he loved motorcycles. For Soryu, I found a picture that he’d actually taken of me a month ago as I successfully completed my most challenging lift. I hoped that would also appeal to Jin and Hijikata, but taking no chances I added photos from a trip that I’d taken a fears years back at a traditional a Japanese temple long before I’d fallen down a rabbit hole to a bizarro version of the place. I also found a photo from halloween where I was dressed up as a sexy lady cop (something I’d hoped never to publicly share but figured that desperate times called for desperate measures).

Not knowing who the mystery fifth man was, I opted to use the last 2 of the 6 pictures Tinder allowed to appeal to Zyglavis.

The king had so cruelly wiped all my devices of our shared photos but for whatever reason had not taken ones of just me (such as all the solo shots he had taken of me on his birthday). In the photo I selected, I was holding up a chocolate ganache cake I’d made for him from scratch with a warm smile on my face. His birthday had happened before any of our problems had really started, and as a result it was clear as day by the way I looked at the camera that I was in love with the man who was holding it.

For my final picture, I recovered another photo that Zyglavis had taken at Maya and Omar’s wedding. In it, I’m wearing a form fitted dress, holding a slice of wedding cake, and smiling at the camera.

Leon nodded approvingly at my changes and noted, “What about the bio?”

I chewed on my bottom lip as I thought for a moment and then wrote the following: “We will be lost and found a thousand times on this cobbled road of us.” - Atticus

Leon chuckled and noted, “A little heavy handed but I like it. It’s a bit of a riddle and it speaks to the situation. Perhaps it might jog a lost memory or feeling.”

I smiled in an attempt to hide how overwhelmed I felt. I was starting over in such a big way and it felt daunting to be at the starting line again. Leon saw through my fake smile and awkwardly noted, “It’ll be fine.”

“Will it? The king is right - without the advantage...”

“It pains me to say this but your problem with the men in this world has nothing to do with you and everything to do with how you view yourself.”

“Come on, you’ve seen the women in this city and -“

“Naomi, you make it hard for me to believe you’re competent at your job. You’re in marketing, no? You must understand the concept of selling a product.”

“Of course I do!”

“In dating, you’re the product. Why would I want to buy a product that believes that all the women around her are better? Men don’t need a lot of convincing if you’ve already decided you’re inferior on your own. They’ll just take your word for it and go look for something better.”

Once more, though Leon’s words cut deep in my heart I knew he was right.

Dating in this world (before I’d found myself living in a fantasy) had robbed me of my confidence. As time went on, I found myself believing less and less that I’d ever find happiness and that in itself proved to be a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts.

I wondered when it was that I started feeling this way which conjured memories from previous heartaches and feeling of inadequacy created by men who were too emotionally stunted to ever be a real partner in the way that I wanted.

As my mind mulled over the root of these problematic beliefs I held for myself, Leon continued, “The ego of man is a fragile one. Far more fragile than that of a woman’s feelings. If you believe that you are the best product a man can have, he will believe it too. Courtship is the perfect balance of self confidence and affirmation. You use your looks to make the first impression, then you show off a product that is so highly desired you wouldn’t ever settle for the first bidder, yet you maintain clear interest by expressing a reasonable level of affection somewhere between total indifference and complete thirst.”

“What do you mean?”

Leon sighed, annoyed that I didn’t have the tools to unpack what he felt was obvious and said, “Just find a way to casually tell a man he’s handsome. That word is kryptonite for men - it can be used in a familiar way without coming across desperate but at the same time makes it obvious that you find them attractive.”

“Leon…you’re really good at this.”

Leon shrugged, “I suppose a millennia of hearing the wishes of men makes it fairly obvious what they desire most.”

“Seriously. You’ve opened my eyes to something I couldn’t figure out from years of therapy. You should teach classes or something.”

“No time. Besides, that would only get in the way of my political career.”

“Your what now?”

With a cocky grin Leon polished off the rest of the beer that was sitting in front of him and said confidently, “The next few months will be busy for me. I plan to run for mayor here. You goldfish need someone like me in charge!”

I let out a laugh and it was oddly comforting to see that even though much had changed in the course of a weekend, Leon’s arrogance would remain a constant in my life for the foreseeable future.

That night I found myself in Meg’s guest room on Tinder.

I’d forgotten how tedious the process of weeding through such a large pool of men could be. There were the guys that were an obvious no, with profiles that made it clear they wanted sex and nothing more. There were the trolls and the geeks and the men that made me feel superficial and mean for not ever giving them a chance despite the fact they seemed to be good people underneath a less than desirable exterior.

Finally there was that elusive 1% of attractive, but not so attractive that they were guaranteed to be players. The smart, cute, totally dateable man who (statistically speaking) had a line of women waiting to hang out. I was an underdog in so many ways but as I continued my adventures in swiping I reminded myself that Leon was right.

I needed to value myself more or no one else would.

With that in mind, I found myself walking to the full length mirror in the guest room, momentarily leaving my phone behind as I evaluated the product I was currently hawking online. 

She was average female height at around 5’4” and 145 lbs. She had dark hair, dark eyes, full lips, and a nice smile. Her skin was looking a little ruddy at the moment with dark circles under her eyes and thanks to her laziness when it came to cosmetics meant that whenever she was sleep deprived she never attempted to hide the fact she looked less than ideal.

I thought about the Naomi I wanted to be, and how when I looked good I felt better about myself. I didn’t wear makeup just because I was a tomboy - really, I never wore makeup because I was too self-conscious to learn. I pretended that I was above it all, but in actuality I just perpetually ran behind and between not having time and not having any idea what I was doing started hanging my hat on the fact that I am “all natural”.

I decided that thanks to Leon’s verbal push I was going to be Naomi 2.0 - a better version of the self that had already made great strides to becoming better in the months since her fall down the rabbit hole. Beyond just introducing me to men, my time in otomeville had reminded me about all the things I liked about myself and now it was time to work on those things I still struggled with.

The next day, my coworkers were sad to learn that our salad runs with Hiroshi and Jin had come to an end. I came up with a story that they’d gone undercover and as a result even I didn’t know where they were.

As a result, I spent that lunch hour trying to familiarize myself with some basic products that I hoped could help give my appearance a bit more polish and my fragile ego a bit of a boost. The lady at Sephora informed me as she applied some powder with a brush that “I made hilarious faces” and as self-conscious as I was by the end of my time there I walked out with a good set of makeup brushes, powder, blush, bronzer, eyeliner, an eye kit for special occasions, an eyelash curler, and some mascara.

I’d gone back and forth on the lipstick, ultimately deciding that I’d be too self conscious in a bright color and would opt for my usual chapstick gloss.

No one said anything about my new look back at the office, and the day flew by as it usually did now that I was back in the rhythm of my usual life. At the moment, I’d spent the last few months working on a few different accounts ranging from athleisure (Adidas) to skincare (dove). After returning from otomeville and my quick stint at Addison & Rhodes, I’d requested a change of clientele from my boss and was happy that she accommodated my request.

My life at work was far more enjoyable these days, and it was nice to once again feel creative and inspired at my day job. The hours flew by and before I knew it 6 pm hit and I made a slight detour on my way back to Meg’s apartment.

In addition to the makeup, I decided to purchase a few “date night outfits” that were less stuffy than my “biz-cas” (business casual) work attire and very casual t-shirt and jeans. I’ll admit that even though I’d turned my nose up in the past at women who poured a lot of energy into their appearance, I was eating crow at the moment.

I looked nice - better than I had in a long time and as a result I could feel my confidence growing to the point that wooing 5 handsome men over the course of 3 months no longer seemed impossible.

With my high end shopping sprees complete (though not even comparable to the shopping I’d once done during my time as the bachelorette) I was found myself riding high on a mix of newfound confidence and positivity. I swiped my way from the shops near my office in TriBeCa/Soho to Meg’s apartment in the west village yet there was no sign of any of the otome men.

The tinder gold icon let me know that 99+ men had already swiped right (aka “yes”) on me and realizing that it might make sense to expedite this process through additional capital I took the leap and discovered that I already had 900 suitors at the ready. Feeling quite good about the number of men lined up to date me, I scrolled through the faces hoping to see someone familiar and just as I was close to the bottom who should I see but a very familiar cinnamon roll.

Wearing a leather jacket, holding his helmet in one hand, Hiroshi’s first Tinder photo had him leaning against his parked motorcycle. I was so excited that I almost hastily swiped right and instantly messaged him, but thinking about the king, Leon, and the fact that I did not know this version of Hiroshi I knew that I needed to play it smart.

I took screenshots of his page, hoping that there would be a clue seeing as how if I managed to blow this shot with him somehow I’d need a backup plan. From the images I gathered (paired with the miles away) I deduced that he was somewhere in Queens, had joined a local bike club there, and frequented a certain bar (two of his photos were in the same pub and in his profile he noted that he loved an inexpensive dive).

Once I’d properly archived all the information I could get on Hiroshi, I swiped right and hoping to appeal to his inner bike nerd I wrote, “Hey! Cool motorcycle - how long have you been riding?”

I felt good about that opener until a few minutes later I saw his reply and my newfound confidence shattered.

“Hey sorry - u were an accidental swipe. Cool u like bikes tho. Always up 2 chat about that but ur not my type haha.”

The king wasn’t playing around this time and it was already obvious that a little makeup and some new clothes weren’t going to help me much with a game that was clearly rigged from the start. 

The old Naomi would have gotten down on herself, but this new and improved 2.0 Naomi who believed in her product was ready for what was clearly going to be the biggest challenge of her life...

Next to Chapter 4

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[advancetotraining]

BEFORE TAKING YOUR MS WORD HANDS-ON SECRETARIAL OR WP TEST

DESCRIPTION

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Who Will Benefit?

Secretaries

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IT Help Desk

I am a teacher and have trained thousands of students to do MS Word for top-tier legal firms. I also have 20 plus years in legal as a Coordinator, Help Desk and of course Trainer.

We do thorough training from Basic through Advanced Legal and Corporate training for both secretaries and word processing personnel. We are from the inside of the industry and our training gets results.

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NOTE: THIS IS NOT PREP FOR THE PROVEIT TEST! YOU CAN FIND PLENTY OF HELP ON YOUTUBE FOR PROVEIT.

Here is the possible scenarios that would have you going to take an MS Word Hands-On Legal Secretarial or WP level test.

1. You are about to take a hands-on MS Word Test at an agency or law firm for a great new job opportunity.

2. You have been working at a particular firm for a long time and you are using third party software. You lose that position and are forced to go out and test. Your generic MS Office skills are no longer there.

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For Those That Cannot Do A Full Class

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[thevampirediariesdiary]

1.15 A Few Good Men

This episode features two of my favorite things: strategic technical non-invitations, and vampire pun double-speak.

We’re back to the hiker-in-the-woods leitmotif! Harper, the tomb vampire we saw escape at the end of the last episode, tells a hiker he seems like a nice person, and then eats him.  Harper, you seem like a nice person.  Too nice to be a vampire.  Also, why isn’t Harper’s hair longer? Why doesn’t he have a beard???  I knew Damon’s 1.05 stubble from three days in the Salvatore basement was exceptional.

Elena asks Jenna if she did any digging on her birth mother; Jenna found an old medical record for an Isobel Peterson, which led her to two high school cheerleaders, Trudie Peterson and Isobel Fleming.  Trudie has an address not far off.  And Isobel? “I couldn’t find anything about her,” Jenna says, totally unconvincingly.  Did everyone in this show skip school the day they taught lying??  But even though this is only a partial lie, Jenna, my hero in all things, can’t bring herself to keep Elena in the dark, and spills about Alaric’s wife having the same name and being from the same area…and being dead.

Stefan, on the other hand, is actually getting better at lying.  He asks what Elena knows about the circumstances surrounding Alaric’s Isobel’s death, and Elena says only that she was killed and the case was never solved. Stefan says Alaric told him “some things”, but then changes the subject, saying that it’s not possible the two Isobels are the same, the coincidence is too much.  “I should go,” he says, “I gotta go deal with Damon.”  “How’s he doing?” Elena asks.  “He’s dealing,” Stefan says, “…in his own way.”

Apparently dealing is an orgy-dance-feeding-party. It’s exactly like with Vicki, times four.  Stefan wanders in, looking half-amused, and flips the lights on.  “Ooooooh,” says Damon, “Buzzkill Bob.”  Stefan pulls him aside, but Damon remains stubbornly light and breezy: “You’re worried about me, that’s nice, don’t be.  There’s no need, I’m fine.  Why wouldn’t I be? I spent the last 145 years with one goal – get in that tomb – I succeeded.  Granted, Katherine wasn’t in there to be rescued, but why dwell.  It’s so liberating, not having a master plan, because I can do whatever the hell I want!”  “That’s kind of what I’m worried about,” Stefan says.  “Relax,” Damon tells him, “I haven’t killed anyone in too long.”  But even now, when Damon’s whole life has been turned upside-down, he can’t accept his brother’s concern at face value, and asks what the ulterior motive is – and he’s right.  Stefan didn’t come over for a pep talk, but to ask Damon about Isobel.  Damon says remembering her is a needle in a haystack, and nothing rings a bell.  “Think hard, it’s important,” Stefan insists.  Damon leans in and whispers in his ear, “Nothing is important.  Not anymore.”  

Mrs. Kelley Donavan interrupts Matt and Caroline’s makeout session before it turns into a sex scene and I have to think of a fun fact.  Caroline flees, Mrs. Donavan is very mean about both Caroline and Caroline’s mom.  “So she’s the one?” she teases Matt.  “No.  Probably not. But maybe,” Matt says, making me confused all over again about that relationship.  But he refuses to let his mom speak derogatorily about her, and that’s something.

Alaric objects to being raffled off like a Disney cruise at the Mystic Falls bachelor auction, but Jenna says fundraising is taken very seriously in their town, and he doesn’t have a choice.  They have their first kiss, and it’s very precious and normal and sweet.  “I can’t believe I’m going to do this…I’m totally going to ruin this moment,” Jenna says, and brings up the situation with Elena and her birth mother.  Alaric dismisses it as a coincidence, but when Jenna pulls up a picture, he says only, “She…uh…she never told me.”  The moment is well and truly ruined.

Elena drives herself to Trudie’s house.  Trudie invites her in by saying, “I was just gonna make some tea, do you want some?  The kitchen’s this way.”  Which is to say, she doesn’t actually invite her, but appears totally welcoming and polite.  It’s brilliant, and I love it.  If vampires were real, this is what I would be worst at – I would constantly be accidentally inviting people in because I couldn’t be careful enough with my words.  Trudie doesn’t offer up any information we didn’t already have, but Elena takes a sip of her tea and recognizes vervaine, so there’s something she’s not saying. Elena drives off, Trudie is promptly murdered.

Damon sits next to Alaric at the bar and orders a bourbon.  “Behold, the teacher,” he says, already very tipsily. “Don’t you have some papers to grade?”  Alaric responds, darkly, “It’s more fun with a buzz.”  “Well,” Damon says, “most things are.  Sober is…depressing.”  “You don’t strike me as someone who gets depressed,” Alaric says.  “You say that like you know me,” Damon answers.  “Nope,” says Rick, “it’s just a hunch. You have a good afternoon.”  “Not likely,” Damon sing-songs.  He is joined by Liz Forbes.  “Daytime drinking, huh?” she asks.  He answers, “It’s all the rage.”  “Listen, I need a favor,” she says, and convinces him to be a bachelor in the auction. He asks that she dig into Alaric, with whom Damon says there’s something a little off.  Liz, having absolutely no reason to distrust Damon’s instincts, agrees readily.

Elena wanders into Stefan’s room, calling for him.  “Better,” Damon answers, “me.”  “You look…” she says.  “Dashing, gorgeous, irresistible?” Damon supplies.  “Wrecked, you look wrecked.”  “No reason why,” he says, dismissive, even though she didn’t ask. “Did you know I’m one of mystic falls most eligible bachelors?”  Elena’s only response is “Huh”.  “Yep.”  She can’t resist, and asks, “How are you doing?”  “Never better,” he tells her, then moves on, “What can I do for you? I’m a barrel of favors today. It’s my newfound purpose.  How can I help people?”  “I’m just meeting Stefan,” she tells him, “we’re going to the fundraiser.” “Help a guy out will you,” says Damon, struggling with his shirt buttons in front of the mirror, “I can’t…get…this…” Sighing, Elena walks over and starts to do up his shirt for him.  “So,” she says, sweet, hopeful happiness starting to seep into her voice, “I found out who my birth mother is!” 

“Eeuughyuck. Who cares,” Damon says.  

She looks at him, insulted. 

“She left you,” Damon says, perfectly sincere, “she sucks.”  

Elena sees Stefan over his shoulder and extricates herself from dressing her boyfriend’s brother.  Abandoned, Damon does up his buttons perfectly while maintaining eye contact with Elena.  This, presumably, is his version of her pretending she’s going to dance with him. 

Elena stares after him, annoyed.  “He’s fine!” she says to Stefan, once he’s left.  “He’s Damon,” Stefan says.  “You know, maybe this heartache will be good for him, it’ll remind him that he has one, even if it doesn’t beat.”  “Won’t hold my breath,” Stefan tells her.  Now that he knows for certain that the Isobels are the same, Stefan finally reveals…that Alaric “believes” that Isobel was killed by “a vampire”, and then asks Elena not to talk to Alaric about it.  When she asks why, he says only, “I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but will you do this for me?”  Seriously, the biggest thing that has stood out to me on this rewatch is that Stefan has an issue with the truth, particularly telling it on any other terms but his own.  Like so many of Stefan’s other issues, it’s a control thing.  He likes to control the circumstances under which he lives his life, to make his actions and choices as easy and smooth as possible.  It’s not unreasonable in itself, but he takes it to such an extreme. 

Stefan tries one last time to jog Damon’s memory about Isobel.  He’s not interested in talking.  He does ask, “Where’d our girlfriend go?”

Which brings us to the main event: the bachelor auction.  Liz takes Damon aside beforehand and shares what she learned about Alaric – his background is clean, nothing but a couple parking tickets – and a dead wife Isobel.  It all comes together.

So when Mrs. Lockwood asks Damon if he likes to travel, he answers into the microphone, with Alaric and Elena and the whole bar listening, “Oh yeah, LA, New York…couple years ago I was in North Carolina near the Duke Campus actually – I think Alaric went to school there, didn’t you Rick? Yeah, except…I know your wife did.  I had a drink with her once.  She was…phew…she was a great girl, did I ever tell you that?  Cos she was delicious.  Mmm.  Mm mm mm.”  

“Are you okay?” Jenna asks.  “I just need some air,” Elena says.

Stefan follows her out.  “He killed her?” she says. “Damon was the vampire that killed her?”  “I don’t know what happened, Alaric said they never found the body,” Stefan says, miserably. “I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you, but I just, I wanted to know more.”  But Elena’s not concerned about Stefan’s silence: “I was feeling sorry for him.  Hoping that this whole Katherine thing would change him. I’m so stupid.” “He doesn’t know about the connection to you,” Stefan tells her, “I thought about confronting him, but he’s already so on edge.” “Why are you protecting him?” she asks. “Because you’re not the only one hoping that he might actually change!”  The shoe is on the other foot now for sure, and I love it.  Elena has been hurt too personally now to be able to hold onto hope – but Stefan is there to pick it up, because of what she saw first.  Look at this agonized hopeful face:

Plot distractions take place, in the form of the man Elena saw outside Trudie’s house. Elena goes inside, and runs smack into Damon.  “Whoa, easy there.  Buy a ticket like everyone else,” he says.  “Did you enjoy that, in there,” she demands, “rubbing it in to Alaric Salzman?”  Damon is genuinely bewildered: “What?”  

“Just as I was starting to thing there was something redeemable about you,” she snaps. “Elena,” Stefan says, and shakes his head at her from behind Damon, who turns around.  “Am I missing something here?” he asks.  “Did I forget to mention, earlier when we were talking? About my birth mother.  The one that gave me up.  Her name was Isobel.”  Damon goes through the quickest ‘oh shit’ face change I have ever seen.  “Go ahead,” Elena tells him, bitterly, “Reminisce about how you killed her.”  Damon proceeds to experience the whole range of human emotion. It’s interesting, Stefan made sure to be clear to Elena that Damon didn’t know about the connection to her, and in fact kept both of them in the dark about it for as long as possible – but this is the tack Elena takes.  She immediately chooses to make the crime personal – an offense against her – because she knows this will get through to him.  And oh, does it.  But maybe not the way she intended.  

The plot distractions crop back up.  The man tells Elena he has a message for her: Stop looking.  She doesn’t wanna know you.  She doesn’t wanna talk to you. Then he steps into traffic.

Alaric flashes back to his wife – his memories getting less and less idyllic.  What began as professional pride in research, wanting to be the one to prove something’s true, has clearly turned into something else.  “You don’t want kids, you’re never home.  What’s the point of this? I just want us to be normal people,” he tells Isobel.  “Maybe I don’t want that,” she answers.

And despite all of Stefan’s warnings, Alaric follows Damon home. “Where’s Isobel? What have you done with my wife?” Alaric says.  “Do you want me to tell you I killed her?” Damon answers. “Would that make you happy?  Because I think you know what happened.”  “I saw you feeding on her,” Alaric says, clinging to this version of events.  “Yeah I did, and I wasn’t lying, she was delicious. Oh come on, what do you think happened?” Damon says, impatient.  “Not an inkling?  You never considered the possibility?  I turned her.”  “Why?” Alaric says, desperate.  “She came to me!  All pathetic, looking for vampires.  There was something about her, though, something I liked, special.”  “You turned her because you liked her?” Alaric asks.  “No, I slept with her because I liked her, I turned her because she begged me to.  But you knew that too, didn’t you.  Guess she wasn’t happy at home, wasn’t happy with life in general, wasn’t happy with you.” Alaric rushes him, and he takes Alaric’s stake and stabs him with it, murmuring, “This is a shame.  We’re kindred spirits.  Abandoned by the women we love.  Unrequited love sucks.  Sounds like I got a lung, which means I get to sit here and watch you die.” Which is what he does.  And if this episode has shown anything, it’s that he’s not wrong about the rest of it – he and Alaric are kindred spirits.  Even their conversation at the bar, on the surface, could have been the beginning of an understanding.  Both of them were on a mission, only to find out that the missing person who gave their life purpose and meaning never cared about them in the first place.  Sure, Damon was annoyed at his brother for manipulating him and keeping him in the dark, which is certainly partly why he lashed out at the bachelor auction.  But it’s fitting Rick into the picture that pushes him all the way – because he knows what Rick is doing, knows how he feels and what he’s going through, and Damon already knows the end of his story – knows it’s exactly the same as his own.  And Damon is not one to let people labor under delusions.  This, it seems, is also part of Damon’s reaction when he finds out Isobel is Elena’s mother – because that means Elena is a kindred spirit, too.

Stefan gets home, Damon is unapologetic.  “All I did was tell him the truth.  His wife didn’t want him anymore.  It’s not my fault he couldn’t handle it.”  “Like you’ve been handling Katherine?” Stefan retorts.  “I’m handling it fine,” Damon says, and then proceeds to spin this whole disaster into a way of connecting Elena to Isobel back to Katherine – “it can’t be a coincidence”.  He leaves Stefan to clean up the body – which, all of a sudden, is twitching, and then sitting up and gasping.  Alaric hypothesizes that it was the ring Isobel gave him.

Elena calls a number on a dead man’s phone.  Her birth mother answers.

Two notes: when Elena says “I was feeling sorry for him”, Nina slips into her Canadian accent big time.  And I prefer to forget that Damon slept with Elena’s mother, because that’s weird and gross.

Eyebrow Watch: “Is this what you do when there are no...vampires?”

previous episode  // next episode

[arleenmona]

New Home Dream

As I sit here at my desk trying to feel like I have my life together, [in my workout clothes drinking my coffee and eating my avocado toast with grapes], I am envisioning where i see myself in the next few months.

I love my parents and baby brother but i cant help but feel a bit stuck still living at home at the age of 25. I need some sense of in-dependency, freedom, and it would be nice to decorate a place of my own. Although i cant afford to do this particularly alone, my brother and i have decided we will set out on this journey together. I feel there is no better way to move [if you cant do it alone], because moving in with a significant other can be challenging and moving with friends may ruin a friendship or two. As for my brother, i have lived with him my whole life and it seems like a perfect idea. 

We have been looking at a lot of apartments and the one previous to this we had our heart set on but now come the middle of 2020 and apartments are selling fast and are getting pricey. So after further investigation this was one of the many apartments we liked but this one fit our budget the best.

The features of The Paseos:  

It looks beautiful in pictures online, and seems to be almost everything we want. We absolutely need hard wood flooring because Sushi is potty trained but she still has her accidents, and Paseos has hard wood flooring throughout the whole apartment including the bedrooms. I have so much clothes including things with the tags on them still and things that no longer fit [but i hope one day they will lol] so walk in closets for both of us will make our rooms look way less cluttered, and Paseos has walk in closets in both bedrooms! The apartment set up is nice because the bedrooms are on the opposite sides of the apartment, meaning the living room and kitchen are between us, and each room comes with its own bathroom. Which also means 1. i dont have to share with him so less arguing about whose in the bathroom & 2. i can decorate my bathroom how i want and keep it clean. The kitchen is beautiful and is very open with the living room that leads to the outside balcony. The balcony is made of white cement wall which means Sushi can go outside and i dont have to worry about her being on a balcony that has open spaces on it. Especially since when i called about this particular apartment, i was told that it is on the third floor, so hopefully we will have a pretty view from our balcony. The community amenities are very nice with a good sized gym and lots of equipment, a pilates and yoga room, as well as an outside workout area with a few machines [which i think is perfect because i love working out outside], the pool area is very resort style with cabanas and lounge chairs, there is a BBQ/lounge area as well which would be nice for a dinner outside. Overall it seems perfect.

The vision of living here:

I wake up at 7 in the morning. Do a morning stretch and hop out of bed and let Sushi out onto the balcony to do her morning business, while I go brush my teeth, wash my face, and brush my hair. Then i make my way to the kitchen to make some coffee [but leave it there since i dont like hot coffee in the summer] and step out onto the balcony to see what the weather feels like and to bring Sushi back in. i go get dressed in my workout/lounge clothes and head downstairs with sushi to take her for a morning walk. When i come back home i can now make my coffee drinkable in my custom Starbucks tumbler cup. And if there is extra time before i start work at 8 o’clock do something that is on mindful list such as: yoga, read, blog, journal, or complete something off of my monthly to-do list. Once i begin work at my desk i will be drinking my coffee, working and looking out the window to a view of my apartments knowing life is great. At 10 o’clock i will make Sushi her breakfast as well as myself, around 1 o’clock i will take my lunch, and at 5 o’clock i will clock out of work. Now what happens after work will vary on my days. . . . .

1. i will start my side job right after work so that i can make extra money to stay living this new amazing life i created for myself. “the hustle never sleeps”. When i finish my second job, i will go home do a mini home workout. Take a shower, do my night self care face and hair routine, and climb into bed with sushi.  

or 2. i dont have to do my second job and after work i can take a small rest [but not to long because i will get comfortable and that will be the end of my day]. So after my rest if i have any errands i must run i will have to eat dinner first then leave to go get those done, and when i return i can workout and then shower. But if i have no errands I will workout, shower, and then eat. After that it is “me time” and i can do something off of my mindful list, something that will help me whine down my day and relax me enough just before i go to sleep.

The next steps to moving into our new home:

Although it is nice to envision where i see myself living and how i see myself living the best version of myself and life, there is a lot that goes into it. Alot of research and hard work, its not all sparkling pools and popping bubbly on the balcony. In order to achieve this goal we have to plan and move strategically. Now that we have found what we want, its time to go pay our possible future new home a visit. I called and asked if and when this 2 bedroom will be available as well as set up a tour date. My brother and I are going to go look at it on Sunday and talk about the next steps of applying. . .

PSA:                                                                                                                         I have always took an interest in looking at apartments/homes. I start with a level head and think about everything I want in a new home, and from there i just do plenty of research. I have spent long hours and days doing this before but i enjoy it. If you are reading this and need help finding a new home or know someone and dont have the time to do the research yourself. Heart this post and comment below and i would be more than happy to assist in finding your next perfect home (:

[July 16, 2020]

[eirenare]

FFXV: Episode Ignis — My experience (hint: a lot of feels)

Okay, so between me needing time to get out of my happy shock for Episode Ignis (gods, it’s been hard to find the will to write because I couldn’t even arrange my thoughts well enough), certain movie coming out, and the fact that I usually need to wait for nighttime’s peace to write (and often inspiration and/or will are quite picky, not to mention when your brain gets blocked when it comes to writing), I took my time to finally write this, but... 

Here I go!

[22/12/2017: EDITED THIS POST TO HIGHLIGHT NAMES, CHECK PUNCTUATION AND TAGS, AND EDIT MISTAKES.]

I would like to start by saying that Episode Ignis gave me way more than I would have EVER expected. Like, really. I expected for it to be a great DLC, but the experience exceeded that word easily: it was EVERYTHING. And it was everything because it HAD everything.

I’m still not over it, days later. Damn, I’ve even dreamt with it two times (and I remember almost nothing, but I think Ravus was in both lol).

I was sooo hyped for Episode Ignis that I started playing it a little after midnight and I ended up... AT 6 AM. And I had to wake up in theory at, like, 9 AM. But that night, nothing else mattered outside this DLC and, DAMN, what a night. Totally, absolutely worth it to spend so much hours playing it and losing sleep. I had a great time, and oh gods, some parts had me so excited.

I mentioned this already in my non-spoiler comment about Episode Ignis, but... I expected to cry more than I did in the end. For years, I’ve been a person that cried way too easily when watching movies, playing videogames, reading... Like, really, I tended to cry so much. I often was an emotional mess, I would sob a lot and my chest would literally hurt (if you had seen me with FFXV’s ending, oh dear...). But lately I’ve noticed that, in that regards, I’ve become... a bit “numb”. I enjoy the stories, oh gods if I do, and I still get feels (a lot), but it’s like the intensity has lowered some, and that’s something I don’t like. I miss being a crybaby about these things, damn.

During Episode Ignis, if I recall well there was only one time in which I cried, and that was at the end of the original route of the DLC, when Ignis tells Noctis about “sharing the load”. My goodness, Iggy, you’re such a good, great man...

But well, the thing is, I may have not cried much when I played Episode Ignis, BUT the excitement, the feels, the emotion were there. 

I would sometimes jump a bit on the sofa out of excitement, for example when the last scene of that amazing alternative ending was starting... A moment which also had me frantically gesticulating with my hands in the air, much like when I saw Noctis alive and sitting in the throne (I thought Ignis was just like, going to bow before an empty throne and then say something like “thank you” and cry, but OH GODS, I’m happy I was so wrong in that assumption).

I was smiling while fighting with Ignis all around Altissia and collecting items, and damn, my smile went from ear to ear during the alternative ending, ever since I saw Ravus alive in the stairs (and SMILING, Ravus ACTUALLY SMILING, that’s something beautiful and precious — although I have to admit that seeing his beard almost made me laugh a bit, it was between weird and adorable), and up until the very end of it. And what an ending, oh my goodness... That ending was EVERYTHING, and I can’t stop thinking about it. And oh gods, the addition of that camp scene at the official ending, THE FEELS...!

Oh, and I can’t stress enough how much of a “FUCK YES” it was to see Caligo die and, the best thing, by Ravus’ hand. I don’t know if anyone reading this has seen my post about Caligo, but a past trailer had a VERY creepy moment of Caligo cornering Luna when she was a child while a storm raged on outside the building they were in, and ever since I noticed that the man was Caligo I’ve been wanting so badly to see him actually die. 

On the other hand, some moments really made me frown, or be SO sad. Seeing Ravus so broken about Luna, and then lashing out at a protective and understanding Ignis... Man. MAN. And Ignis. Oh dear gods, Ignis. It was sad to see him sacrifice himself to save Noctis (Ignis is such an AMAZING character), and I worried so much that he was going to die in that alternative ending... 

Still, if there’s something that would make you picture just how much excited I was, it’s this: NON-STOP TREMBLING. 

And it was that kind of trembling that shakes all your body and that you can’t stop (it simply couldn’t be because of the low temperature though because I was warm, wrapped in a blanket like a burrito and with the heating on). I don’t know when it started but it just happened, and it didn’t end until some time after I finished the DLC at 6 AM. Basically I spent hours trembling because of my excitement, so... yeah, that was the biggest sign that I was excited, haha

Damn, my legs even were WEAK, although I didn’t notice that until I got up from the sofa. Also, I still trembled as well when I watched a livestream that same day.

But well, continuing on~

Having Ignis and Ravus as teammates was SO AMAZING. They had such synchrony when they executed movements, that was BADASS. 

And the gameplay was SO good, so smooth, so strategic while at the same time being fast! Seeing Ravus execute “Last Rites” (here in Spain the name is a reference to the boat to the othe world, though) is espectacular, and Ignis jumping like that? HELL YEAH. I didn’t use much the “Overclock” in all honesty because I loved to spam the jump, lol. The dagger system felt really amazing, and probably my favourite element for them was ice. The lightning element was exhilarating, and fire did so much damage... But I just loved the ice daggers too much, not only because of how they felt, but because it was kinda beautiful, like seeing Ignis dance lol. 

And oh my goodness, Ravus and Ignis fight together almost feel like a choreography, and I DIED at how perfectly they combine their moves.

Oh oh, and I went absolutely scavenger mode, looking out for items all around the map, haha. Going to cross the bridge to help Noctis? ... Nah, the loot man, THE LOOT. 

And Altissia... Oh my god, Altissia was amazing (although it hurt to see a place that had been so beautiful now destroyed), such a good open place to explore~ I had INSANE FUN with the hook (oh gods when I discovered that as you fall you can still use I went full Spiderman mode hahaha), and taking back territory from Niflheim. As of now, though, I haven’t picked up all the collectibles and average items, or bought these awesome glasses, or fought Noctis in the Friendly Match, but... SoonTM.

I have to say I accidentally discovered that, if you’re out ot combat and press triangle, Ignis removes and puts on his glasses, or checks them, and so on, lol. That was a cute detail. Oh, and I liked that Weskham did that little appearence! Camelia is just... well... it’s... her. I don’t like how Camelia acted, to be honest... 

Buuut well, onwards.

The music was just PERFECTION. Every theme was AMAZING. That’s an aspect I’ve loved about this DLC, it’s so very well executed! Every piece fits to perfection, and... I just have to mention this: Ardyn getting another version of his theme. One that is just SO scary... Damn, the music of this DLC was perfection.

And now, the time has come... The time to talk about characters and story. The time for DEM FEELS.

The story was just SO WELL EXECUTED. It wasn’t very long, but I felt it SO satisfactory.

Seeing Ignis so worried about Noctis really does something to your heart, like... Just how much this man cares about him? It’s overwhelming, in the good sense.

I’m glad that Ignis got to show in this DLC just how amazing of a character he is, because he deserved it. I mean, he’s shown during the game itself that he cares deeply, but in this DLC you can see just how far he’s willing to go to protect Noctis, and it’s amazing, it’s beautiful, albeit tragic. It’s not that he’s so dedicated because it’s his role to take care of the King of Light, no, but because it’s NOCTIS. He does it for the person, simply. This DLC just shows to what extent, and oh dear... The word is DEVOTION. 

Seeing Ignis not harbouring any doubt before putting the Ring of the Lucii to fight Ardyn later on is just... Wow. He goes through so much pain, through such of a sacrifice, risking his life, to protect Noctis. It’s A LOT. And, you’re going to pardon me for breaking the epic of his act, but... Ignis looks so gorgeous with his hair down and so disheveled. Not to mention that aura around him... I think the world would be “feral”.

Ignis is amazing, in every sense. He’s got a fierce, protecting soul. I don’t doubt that he was scared about what he was doing, but he cared so much for Noctis he just did it. It’s sad when he just falls to the ground besides Noctis after fighting with Ardyn, when he asks Ravus if Noctis is alright, with that tone, because he has no way of knowing by himself. I loved that Ravus talked to him like he did (being all understanding, reassuring), you can tell there’s respect after seeing what he just did. Man, I love their dynamic, even if the time they spent as comrades was short. 

And I just can NOT talk about what happened after they landed on the altar.

Pryna... Oh gods, Pryna. I wasn’t expecting that, to see the poor thing dying just before Ignis’ eyes... And sure as heck I wasn’t expecting for Pryna to show Ignis the future. That left me agape and added yet another layer of pain to Ignis... 

Gods, Ignis and Ravus deserved such a hug.

It was moving seeing Ravus so broken at Luna’s death. One sees earlier he wants to protect her badly, but this... Gods, how much of a pain must be to see a dear sibling lying dead before your eyes? I can totally understand why he lashed out like that, thoughts totally clouded by anger and grief that it’s way too heavy because not only is he grieving Luna right there, but also re-opening the wound of losing his mother. Good thing that Ignis was there to avoid another tragedy...

The fight was... pretty intense. I loved that moment in which Ignis pushed Ravus twice to avoid getting closer, it was a nice touch to the scene. And damn, Ravus really was resilient, it took a bit of time to defeat him, although I liked that fight. 

And, gods, the scene of Ravus embracing his sister, begging for her not to leave him... That was truly heartbreaking. It was his dear sister, but it’s not only that, no... With her death, he was totally and absolutely alone, and since the goal of his life seemed to be protect her, that’s gone as well. He had nothing. The poor man looked so lost and pained... 

Oh, and Ardyn. Ardyn, as always, quite the showman (and a scary one, all the more in the alternative ending, when he tells Ignis the truth and they fight). I have to admit that, for a moment, he had fooled me. I’m impressed that Ravus saw right through the disguise so easily. That means he either knows Ardyn a lot, or that Ardyn might have changed his appearence earlier before him. Or it could be he thought that Gladiolus was being way too much of an asshole and suspected of Ardyn... But, regardless of what it is, it just implies that Ravus knew back then there was something off about Ardyn. I really hope he hadn’t used his appearence change for anything fucked up related to Ravus...

I liked that you could swap point of view and move the camera during that scene with Ardyn, it was interesting. He wouldn’t have, however, killed Noctis. He needed him alive, after all... and for Ignis to get blinded. He just had to push some buttons. I can’t help but think of Ardyn’s expressions when Ignis was hellbent on putting on the ring, before it happened... It happens briefly, but the look doesn’t seem fake, just like in the train, when he talks about Noctis hurting his feelings. I would have loved to know what was going on Ardyn’s mind in these moments when his performance cracks. 

I have to admit I thought we would have the option to choose the alternative path from the start, but well, better like this, being forced to choose the original option on the first time. It would have been weird to start with the alternative universe.

Oh, and before I forget it... The soldier with Ardyn’s fedora. Gods, I automatically smiled then, it had been a funny gesture that almost made me laugh. I wasn’t expecting that at all.

The confrontation with Ardyn... Ah, yet another hard fight, but I achieved to defeat him (and, omg, that moment when he just teleports in front of Ignis, that was between awesome and scary). As I said, I loved the scene with Ravus back then. Also, Gladio almost reaching for Ignis’ hair when he’s on the ground... Bury me with feels. Bury me even more when the credits, too. Seeing Ignis so vulnerable, with Prompto and Gladio so nervous and breaking... Not to mention the scene of Ignis’ talk to Noctis. Oh, dear... I get that he wanted to protect Noctis from death (what a heavy knowledge to bear, knowing of the future...), but it wasn’t a very logical thing, to suggest Noctis to stop. Uuunless he wanted to cause Noctis to move forward.

Chapter 3 Verse 2 is... ANDLFNGLFNLDNASDAS. Or, translated to English, straightaway my death because it was SO-A-MA-ZING. Tragic. Beautiful. With a happy ending (YESSS I mean I love tragedy in fiction but this alternative ending made me soar and now I can’t stop thinking about it).

I almost forgot to say this, but... That “Mysterious Voice”...? In the credits you can see that the voice actress in every language is Luna’s voice actress, but it’s weird that they would process the voice like that AND not say it’s Luna... Not to mention that the way that voice talks isn’t very much “Luna-like”.Regardless of who it is that is talking, the only thing we know is that it’s a voice coming from the Crystal.

A thing that I haven’t mentioned earlier, and it’s very much noticeable now, is that Ardyn has been VERY hard with Ignis, and it may sound crazy but it looks as if he’s just taking it out on him. He said about speeding the process of Noctis becoming the King of Light, but isn’t Ardyn reaching important levels of aggresivity? And it’s not like his mood is the same as always, no, you can see that sometimes his perfomance craks here too, as it does when he fights Noctis in Insomnia. He reveals to Ignis who he is, though (and gods YES at least we get him explicitly saying it was his brother, something that’s good because a lot of people was still thinking who Izunia was), before attacking Ignis... And, in fact, it’s not just that he goes hard on Ignis, is that Ardyn becomes VICIOUS to unsuspected points.

The music of his 4th theme helps make him look scarier, too, and not to mention the fact that he seems to own every weapon of every descendant of his brother Izunia... The fight against Ardyn was VERY hard and tiring.

An interesting thing: while in English the options are named “sacrifice your life”, “risk your life” and “give up”, in Spanish we have that, instead of “risk your life”, the option’s named “sacrifice your senses” > “sacrifice your body” > “sacrifice your soul”, depending on if you choose that option repeatedly until only “sacrific your life” / “give up” remain.

it was sad and worrying seeing Ignis doing such sacrifices, and I seriously thought he was going to die... But, somehow, Noctis made the Crystal answer to his call in such a way that it would heal Ignis, and that was sooo much a relief. This scene was so tragic, it gave me so much feels... Gods, hearing the brothers voice their grief... And Gladiolus specially reached me. 

When I saw the group going around in the credits scene, talking to other characters everywhere, it was SO nice. I loved it, it was very nostalgic, and I love so much FFXV’s NPCs.

But the best thing was the alternative ending... *internal screaming noises of happiness*

“We walk tall — together”. YES. I loved that new version of the phrase.

Ravus being happy, and with that weird, funny yet adorable beard~ ... And SMILING. After all that shit in his whole life. Give me TEN. PLEASE.

And oh my goodness Ignis nodding to Ravus like “you’re one of us, come”, and Ravus going with them with ANOTHER SMILE. Omg. You can blame this DLC that now I headcanon that in this alternative ending Ravus is friends with the bros but specially with Ignis (I mean, Ravus was totally ALONE, he needed someone around him that could understand his pain, and who better than Ignis, that saw him at his worst). 

And in fact, I’ve started to ship both Ravus x Ignis (both one-sided and loved back), and Ignis x Noctis, apart from liking a lot BROTP Ravus/Ignis... HELP hahah. Nah, I’m kidding, don’t help me, I’m comfortable in shipping/BROTP hell lol.

The last scene... Ah, dammit. I wasn’t expecting for Noctis to be alive AT ALL, yet there he was, all majestic and amazing, with that smile on his lips. As I said, at first I thought Ignis was going to enter the throne room to do something symbolic, like saying “thank you” while crying or something, but... NOPE! And I’m so glad I was wrong.

Pfff... This DLC is PURE BEAUTY. 

It has amazing music, a good scenario, smooth gameplay, it answers some questions while it makes you question other things, but most importantly... it portrays the characters very well and gives them more deepness, and the story is solid. 

I don’t know if I’ve forgotten something, and I think I could have written this way better, or express more feeling, but well, this is what I’ve written for now, haha.

To anyone that might be reading this: thank you for checking the post, and have a nice day!

[darkangelanddemonempress-blog]

Persona 5: Take your Heart~

Persona 5 is the sixth game in the Persona series and it’s a role-playing game developed by Atlus. (P-Studio) So, if you’re into cool RPG stuff, then playing this game was definitely worth your time.

This game is all about a group of high school students who were facing trouble thanks to the corrupt society they have. Because of the twisted adults, they came to encounter, they realize that they’re living in a world equivalent to a prison full of slavery and injustice.

It’s kind of relatable to our society since many civilians suffered from greedy grownups who only kept on bragging their power, fame, and wealth instead of helping people. Especially those who work for the government, and we kind of know how people in the politics play their games.

It’s sad to think that there are only a few people in the government whom can be trusted. But of course, I’m not only talking about politicians, my goodness I feel like I’m stereotyping, I’m sorry. It’s just a sample but it’s applicable to all civilians, be in higher or low class, who has distorted heart. How I wish I can steal my crush’s heart too…oh, did I just said that? Oops? I mean to change the corrupted hearts of those people blinded and consumed with the seven deadly sins. Am I making any sense? But I think you get it. Lol.

Anyways, *ahem* go on me, continue.

Wanting to reform the society and gain their freedom from the shackles of the unfair world of doom, the alter ego that was born inside them plays as the rebellious team called Phantom Thieves of Hearts. With the use of a mysterious eyeball application on their phone, they traveled into the other universe which allows anyone to go into a person’s heart, (I wish I can do that!) especially those people who have a vastly distorted desire, to change its cognition and reformed it.

The story all started in a huge Casino and the protagonist will find a route to escape but failed miserably when he got apprehended by a horde of police officers and got drug and beaten to a pulp when he’s in their custody. And when a prosecutor came and interrogated him, memories from half a year ago flash in his head and that’s where your adventure will start, inmate.

Back to my endless rant we go.

When I heard about this game, I’m so excited. I have played Persona 3 portable in PSP before, too bad I didn’t get to play Persona 4 and the others. Even though I heard from my friend that P4 is a beautiful game as well, my heart still soars for P5.

The protagonist has his own charm and he stole my heart, I mean just look at that photo of him, he’s so cool~ he didn’t even need to go into the other world since he took it effortlessly. My mind, soul, and heart. 

Okay, that’s just me being dramatic. Apologies.

And base on my observation when I played both games, P5’s protagonist’s dialogue have more traits than the other, he can be indifferent, straightforward and heck, he can be cheeky too. You can choose options where he can be playful, flirt, snarky and sometimes cocky. Considering in the prologue, he even manages to show-off even though he’s in the middle of a dangerous escape, much to his friend’s amazement.

Also, the dubbing in this game, be it in English and Japanese are so good and on point. The emotions are there, be it annoyed, angry, or for some comedy lines and stuff. I mean, they all put their efforts in it and I applaud them for that.

In the English version, I especially like Ryuji and Sojiro’s the most. I like all of their voices, it’s just this two’s voices stood out to me the most. And I don’t really know why, lol. And in Japanese…well, I’m a sucker when it comes to that language so I like all of their voices with no exception, also just to share to you, I dream to become a Seiyuu one day if life will give me the opportunity.

Anyways…

So as your daily life in the game, you are living in the attic of a café called Leblanc and you can go to various places in Tokyo using subways or you can just use shortcut since it will be provided in the game. You can go to restaurants, church, mall, even in the red light district and to your school of course. The protagonist can also have part-time jobs, hang out with his friends, play games, study, go to the gym or you can just exercise in your room, make infiltration tools, etc.

If you’re thinking it’s all insignificant, nope, it will help you to raise your stats such as charms, knowledge, guts, proficiency, and kindness. This will easily make you maximize the social links of your confidants since every rank has their own benefits for battles. And some activities can help you to increase your HP and SP, it’s helpful huh?

There’s also have a system which allows your team/friends to messages you about some sort of stuff as the story progress. The design of it was so cool, I even downloaded it on my phone and I feel like I’m one of the Phantom Thieves.

And as per usual, before starting the whole game, you need to choose difficulty. Are you going for safe, easy, normal or hard? If you choose safe, you can’t change it anymore but if you choose one of the other three, then you can just go into settings to change it anytime. It also has the most difficult level which is the ‘merciless’ as a free DLC. So if you want a really challenging experience, you can go with that.

For the battle, you will be using a strategic turn-based combat. It’s now also easy to use since they provided us shortcuts to the different types of commands we can choose from, like the melee attack, use of guns, items, guard, for tactical orders and to call forth your Persona. It will be easy once you exploited the enemies (Called Shadows) weakness, and what’s more, there will be a one more chance for you to strike again and I suggest using the ‘Baton Pass’ (a new mechanics in the game) to another character to heighten up their stats in that turn.

Another feature in the battle was the ‘Hold-Up’ and it will appear when all of the enemies got knocked down. You can negotiate with the enemies with that or if you don’t want, you can just choose the ‘All Out Attack’. If you choose the former, you can make the shadow become your Persona, ask for money and also for some rare items. And your answer will be based on what kind of personality they have, there’s timid, irritable, upbeat and gloomy. So be careful choosing your response, but don’t worry the game will explain how to answer their questions so I know you’ll be alright. You can do it! Don’t be like me who always fail in negotiations.

As for finishing the story, you can get different endings in this one. A Good Ending and Bad Endings, yes Endings, with ‘s’.

It’s easy to get the Good one, just meet the deadlines of the main mission and to choose a wise answer to the options in some conversations to make you advance in the story even further.

As for the Bad one, you can get it to any missions if you happen to fail one and you can also be assassinated here, or more stuff and I won’t go through on that, I don’t want to spoil the others who are still about to play the game.

I already finished the game and I’m in the New Game Plus, am I right? I think that’s it. You can unlock it once you finished the whole game on the first run. It’s the same, except for the fact that you won’t be needing to raise your personal stats since it will be carried over in this, as well as some items that your max confidants will give you. And I like it since here, I have more time to do in my free time and I won’t be having a problem raising my stats since it’s max already.

You can also date some of your confidants, all of them if you want. Although please no, avoid that. Me? I choose not to because I don’t want to, simple as that. I want Joker for myself, just kidding...not, and I low key ship him with Yusuke. Yeah, I’m into yaoi, so what? You don’t need to care about that, we have our own opinions and likes, alright? I respect yours so you respect mine. Lol, why am I saying to you guys anyway? XD Peace to all of you~

Another thing I like about this game is the music. It really fits in the game. I like the one that always played when you send the calling card after securing the treasure’s route. I think the title of it was ‘Life will Change’, both instrumental and with lyrics are so awesome and the ‘Last Surprise’ too, this two are my favorites! Try listening to them and you won’t regret it. You can also enjoy cut scenes in here and the twist in the story is superb.

And I heard they’ll be making another anime called ‘Persona 5: The Animation’ and will be aired in 2018, while the ‘Persona 5: The Animation The Day Breakers’ was released last 2016. Not only that, they’re also going to release a dancing game entitled ‘Persona 5: Dancing Star Night’. Ohhh~ I’m so looking forward to it. Are you guys feels the same? If you are, let’s wait patiently together for it and enjoy the game~

Have a nice day!

- Umarumiko~

Credits to the owner of the pictures~ (Special mention to you guys)

I don’t own it (and I’m not planning to) as well as the game.

Persona 5 belongs to Atlus.

Thank you~