Hi~ Your writing is so so good, I can't believe I just found your blog now but I'm glad I did. I'd love to request if that's ok? A Neji x fem reader (if it's okay, Uchiha!reader, but I'm happy if not) where the Hyuga clan don't approve of their relationship, Hiashi threatens her to leave him and it kills her to do so. Angst but happy ending when Neji finds out and finds the reader again. I hope that's okay. Thank you again for your beautiful writing! ❤️❤️
author’s note: words cannot describe how hard I fell in love with this idea the second I’ve read it! (which is probably why it became so long, I just couldn't stop the story flowing heh, really sorry! x)
For the purposes of this, I wrote f!reader as the sister of Sasuke and Itachi (hope that's okay). I really hope you enjoy and thank you so much for requesting! <3
warnings: angst with a happy ending + Neji is alive after the war (in this blog this is the only correct answer when it comes to Neji!)
The clock loudly struck midnight when you finally reached the doors to the gardens and pushed them open. Expertly navigating the maze of rose bushes, your bare feet hurriedly carried you toward the small house in the distance, the only safe space you could think of.
Your breath was rigid, your cheeks were flushed and your eyes stayed focused ahead, too scared to look back, in case that slowed you down. The muscles in your legs started to burn and begged you to stop for a rest, yet you couldn't afford even a second to spare.
You couldn't see him, but you knew he was near. One wrong step was all it took for him to catch up with you and you were not one to give up without a fight. Pushing the last bit of energy you had left, you squeezed the middle of your night dress in your fists, lifting it and making it easier to make longer strides.
You could see it clearly now - the smallest house of the Uchiha compound, used for newlyweds before the massacre, now standing lonely as your only hope to hide. It was so close, that your arms instinctively reached forward, eager to touch the wooden rail as a sign of reached safety.
Just seconds before you could do that, two strong arms circled your waist, lifting you up in the air and turning you around. You thrashed and kicked in the person's embrace, successfully bringing both of you down, yet he somehow found himself on top of you, quickly pinning your hands above your head.
"Looks like I won", the words came out smugly of his lips, his breathing calm and collected, almost like he hadn't been chasing you around the compound for the last fifteen minutes, "again."
You, on the other hand, were still trying to compose yourself, your lips forming an unhappy pout. He seemed to find your expression amusing, as he lifted himself into a seated position, his pale lavender eyes boring intensely into your black ones.
“You cheated”, you accused him, wiggling under his weight in an attempt to free yourself from his strong hold, “You used the Byakugan.”
Your movements stopped, your body feeling too tired to fight back. His grip also eased but did not disappear completely.
“A bold accusation”, the corners of his lips lifted in a small smirk, “and totally untrue.”
Neji finally let you go, plopping on the grass next to you, his eyelids closing at the feeling of the gentle night breeze that kissed his warm skin. You couldn't help but sneak a glance at him, admiring his almost ethereal beauty. The moonlight was shining upon him, creating the illusion that his face was glowing, while his long dark hair formed a large halo around his head. The bandage around his forehead was gone, his curse mark now a sign of pride and self-acceptance, rather than shame.
He looked like an angel. And for you, he certainly was one.
Growing up as the youngest remaining member of the Uchiha clan, your path in life was pre-determined to be filled with hate and pain. A lonely path, which you could only share with Sasuke, who was just a year older when the massacre happened. Witnessing the death of everyone you loved led you to form a shared belief that the only true purpose in life is to get revenge.
Your brother must have known it was wrong, even when he was obsessed with the idea of hunting Itachi down himself. Why else would he try to shield you from the life of a shinobi, forbidding you from attending the academy?
Why would he try to stop you from leaving Konoha with him, throwing hateful words at you in an attempt to push you away?
Why would he battle Itachi by himself, crying in your arms afterward, seeking comfort and forgiveness for his actions?
If you could be described with one word, however, that would be stubborn. Which is why you never gave up on trying to train your jutsu techniques in secret from your brother, nor did you leave his side once he joined Orochimaru. Despite the creepy feeling of uneasiness and fear you felt during these years, you always stayed loyal to Sasuke and you shared a goal, even going as far as to fight his old comrades once they found you and tried to convince you to go back with them.
You were not nearly as strong as Sasuke, due to his overprotectiveness and attempts to stop you from developing your skills further, yet during your late teenage years you found your strength lied in your skill to manipulate, rather than your skill to throw punches.
Everyone wanted an Uchiha woman.
Maybe it was a sick dream or a competitive spirit that men had over who could capture the attention of the last pure-blood female wielder of the Sharingan. Or maybe they carried a false idea that by getting you, they would somehow manage to connect their clans to yours, thus contributing to a new generation of exceptionally gifted and skilful ninja.
Whatever the reason was, it was clearly not because any of them liked you or cared about you in the slightest. Half of them could not even remember your first name and the rest found your bloodline way more interesting than your personality.
But with your main goal being extracting information about Itachi, and later about Danzo, Obito, and Madara, you gladly entertained such illusions, charming them with your fake innocence and cunning methods of easing them into trusting you. Your increasing knowledge of using genjutsu has also made it easier for you to aid your brother, without the need to spill blood and physically get into a fight.
Something, which turned out to be extremely valuable, once you participated in the Fourth Ninja War.
"Hey...", Neji's voice brought you back to reality and you lifted your eyes to him, noting the slight crease of concern between his brows, "Are you feeling okay?"
You nodded your head, suddenly embarrassed by the fact he caught you zoning out while staring at him. Turning your body to the side, you laid your chin on one of your hands, while the other one reached out to brush a piece of hair that fell in the middle of his forehead.
"Yeah", you said quietly, giving him a small smile, "I am now."
He stared at you for a few seconds, trying to trace any signs of lying on your face, before his hand wrapper around yours and brought it from his forehead to his lips. A gentle kiss was laid on each of your knuckles and you suddenly felt your chest being filled with a pleasant warmth.
Kami, you could live a hundred lifetimes and you still wouldn't deserve this man!
The love that blossomed between you two was unexpected and powerful, sweeping both of you off your feet. What started as him reluctantly agreeing to help you and Sasuke settle back into the village's life after you were pardoned for your crimes, soon turned into a passionate love affair between both of you.
Sneaking out during the darkest hours of the night, communicating only with glances in public, and finding excuses to train in secluded places in the forest were now usual things for both. Sasuke realised long ago there was something going on between you two, especially after you refused his invitation to join him on his travels abroad and chose to stay by yourself in the large compound. Still, he never directly addressed it, happy that you found someone who was appreciating you for you, not for the last name you carried.
A few members of the Hyuuga clan also realised there was a reason for Neji's suddenly distant behaviour. Hinata, being the first to accidentally catch Neji sneaking past midnight out of his room and jumping over the neighbouring wall their family shared with the Uchiha property, was not really that shocked or surprised. She knew that her cousin has actually harboured some form of crush on you, after you selflessly protected him and Naruto during the war, and she was glad you returned his affection.
Hiashi, on the other hand, has also connected the dots and was far from happy. As the strongest young male of the clan, Neji was being groomed into one day taking over the position of the leader, something which both his daughters appeared too timid and weak to take over. His relationship with you, regardless if it was serious or not, was not only a risk to him, but to the whole Hyuga clan, who valued the purity of their family bloodline.
And while he never said anything to his nephew, he watched him through his window night after night, sneaking once the moon was high up the sky and coming back just minutes before sunrise. Something had to be done and it had to be done soon, before you became a bigger threat.
Thankfully, Hiashi knew just how to deal with pests like you.
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"Are you coming tonight?", you murmured in his neck, your breath tickling the soft skin. The grip of his fingers tightened on your waist and you couldn't help but smirk after you felt his breath hitching, knowing well that if you looked up you would find a pink blush covering his cheeks.
Neji hummed, his lips trailing from your temple down to your cheek, landing a few light kisses while doing so. You squirmed at the ticklish feeling, a low chuckle leaving your lips. The man closed his eyes at the sound, which sounded like a music to his ears. He often imagined what it would be like to wake up to it, once you become his lawful wife. Would your children also carry such melodic and hypnotising voice? He really hoped so.
"When have I ever missed?", his brow lifted in question and your lips immediately stretched into a wide smile, before pressing themselves to his. He tasted sweet like honey and you found yourself getting lost in the feeling of his mouth moving against yours. Both of your heads tilted in the opposite directions at the same time, one of his palms gently cupping your jaw to keep your head steady.
After a minute, you both felt the need to inhale oxygen and pulled away from each other, the feeling of the lost of contact already making you whine.
"You are either going to be either my death or my paradise", his soft gaze landed on yours and he landed one more kiss to your mouth, before pressing his forehead to yours, "If I don't leave now, I will surely be caught. The majority of the elders wake up with the first rays of sunshine."
Knowing there was no point to argue or beg him to stay, you nodded your head, already feeling eager for the sun to go down so you can see your lover again. You wished you could proudly show your love to the world and claim him as yours, without having to hide and pretend. And while he has assured you before that he is ready to have your relationship public, you still felt insecure about how people and more importantly his family would react.
You may have been pardoned, but you were still considered an ex-criminal by the laws of the village. Many people were still cautious about you and Sasuke, raising the concern that inevitably you or the future generations of Uchiha would bring more trouble. Some of them tried to reason with the Hokage that it is best if you are forced to move outside the village. One of these people was also Hiashi, who also felt that due to the fact the Hyuga compound was neighbouring yours, they would have to more or less keep an eye on you, thus wasting valuable time and resources.
Given the obvious dislike of his uncle towards you and the fact that Neji was having enough stress in his preparation to become the next leader of the clan, you couldn't risk to taint his reputation or chances to finally rip he fruits of his years of suffering and hard work. So you kept insisting you meet in private, telling him you would be ready once a little bit more time passes.
"I love you", you whispered against his lips as your final goodbye, before stepping away and opening the door to the gardens. Neji's face visibly relaxed and he rubbed his nose against yours, his own little gesture of affection, which you knew carried twice as much feelings as any kiss.
"I love you, too", he replied, finally stepping outside and looking at the dark orange colour of the sky in the distance. He turned to you one last time, obviously wishing to steal just a few more seconds in your presence, "Get some rest. You haven't slept at all through the whole night."
You rolled your eyes and were about to reply that he had not slept at all as well, but the moment you opened your mouth, he was already walking towards the end wall you shared with the Hyuga. A small smile graced your lips while you watched him climb it, before disappearing on the other side. With his presence gone, the need for sleep caught up with you and you soon made your way towards your room, slipping under the warm blankets and into the world of dreams.
You were not sure for how long you were asleep for. Maybe it was an hour or maybe it was two, but what you knew was that it wasn't for long before you were forced awake by loud banging on your door. Your initial reaction was to ignore it - it was probably Naruto or Sakura, wishing to train with you or grab lunch. If you didn't answer after the first few minutes, they were bound to give up.
The banging, however, persisted and it became louder and louder the more you tried to ignore it. Letting a silent puff under your breath, you kicked your covers away and grabbed your dark blue house kimono from the chair next to you bed, before tightening it around your night gown. You lazily made your way towards the door, trying to rub away the sleep from your eyes.
You didn't had to try for long, since as soon you opened the door, you became wide awake and alert.
"Lord Hyuga?", what was supposed to be a greeting came out more as a question and the old man grumbled in response, his eyes travelling from your messy black locks down to your bare feet. You tried to fix your appearance a bit, pushing your hair back and putting on the first slippers you managed to locate, which happened to be Sasuke's.
"Uchiha", he said your last name with a sour expression on his face, "Can I come in?"
Realising you were yet to invite him in, you cleared your throat and nodded your head.
"Of course, please!", you moved to the side and Hiashi did not waste even a second before pushing past you and heading toward the first open door he saw, which happened to be the one of the living room. You closed the door, but not before you scanned the visible area in front of your house.
He seemed to have come alone. Weird.
“Can I get you anything, Lord Hyuga? Tea? Water?”, you tried to ignore the cold glare he was giving you, instead keeping your tone as polite as possible. The man shook his head, instead pointing toward the seat in front of him as a silent gesture for you to sit. Your eyes danced a few times between him and the chair before giving in at his request.
“You are a smart woman, which is why I’m going to cut straight to the point”, his posture straightened and his chest puffed a bit forward, an obvious way of him claiming the more dominant role in your dialogue, “I want you to leave Neji alone.”
Your eyes immodestly widened and your throat felt dry, squeezing around nothing. Your finger clutched the ends of your kimono belt, digging your nails into the soft fabric while your brain rapidly tried to come up with a response to his blunt words.
“Wh-what?”, you finally managed to let out the question, mixed with a nervous laugh, “I don’t know what you are talking about, Lord Hyuga.”
Were you supposed to admit to your affair? To deny it? Has Neji told him or did he somehow caught him in the act of sneaking?
Many questions kept flooding inside your brain, the whole situation catching you completely off guard.
Hiashi clicked his tongue in annoyance, not appreciating the fake oblivion you were trying to sell him. “Typical Uchiha”, he thought to himself, before shaking his head.
“Your little tricks may work on my naive nephew, but I already have experience with the snakes from your clan”, he said harshly, looking you through narrowed eyes, “You are neither as cunning or sneaky as you think. I know you have been in a relationship with Neji for the past year and a half and I am here to tell you that whatever you have going on is ending tonight."
Losing your composure was something which almost never happened to you. Perhaps the years living among the biggest criminals in the world has hardened your personality and you knew how to keep yourself collected under pressure and threats.
But now, under his cold glare and harsh demand, you felt something inside of you snapped and your Sharingan involuntarily activated, the confused expression on your face now transformed into a serious one. You held his eyes and with a deep breath you relaxed the tight grip you had on your robe, laying your palms flatly on the table in front of you instead.
"Are you threatening me, Lord Hyuga?", your head tilted to the side, the dynamic between you clearly shifting, "Because last time I checked I have no reason to explain myself to you, let alone listen to your commands."
"Ah, there she is", he simpered, looking pleased with the fact he managed to provoke such a defensive reaction from you. Staring at your red eyes, he leaned forward, laying his own two hands opposite yours on the table.
"Maybe not", he shrugged his shoulders, "But I want you to think about my next question and give an honest answer."
A few seconds of silence followed, before he opened his mouth again:
"Do you believe, even for one second, that you would ever be good enough for Neji?"
The words hit your deeper than expected. Pressing your lips into a thin life, your whole body visibly tensed, the truth of his words suddenly hitting you like a ton of bricks.
Neji was a strong, hard-working and honest man, who had strong moral values and sense of loyalty. Did you deserve such a partner after everything you have done? No.
But you were not willing to give up on him either. You had no idea why fate made him fall in love with you, but you were not about to throw it away just because someone felt threatened by it.
Sensing that you won't reply to his question, Hiashi continued:
"You may have a few gifted exceptions such as Madara or your brothers, who all went down in a questionable path", he mused, "but the Hyuga remains being the strongest clan in Konoha. A position which we held and will continue holding due to our strong sense of community and the duty we feel to look after one another."
You couldn't help but raise your brow at his words and narrow your eyes.
"A duty which you did not feel toward the members of the branch family, including your own brother", you bit back, knowing where to hit so it hurts the most. Your verbal attack seemed to be successful, as his facial muscles hardened and his whole look became darker.
"There is no division in the family no more", he hissed through his gritted teeth, questioning how open Neji has been to you through the course of your relationship. You obviously had an insight of how the family used to work and while he felt he shouldn't hold that against his nephew, he couldn't help but feel betrayed by the fact the matter was discussed with an outsider.
"Not thanks to you", your tone matched his, "It is Neji who pushed for this change, it is him who will completely unite the Hyuga clan."
Hiashi chuckled dryly at your words, surprisingly nodding his head.
"And where is your role in this, you think?", pushing himself back into a straight position, he looked at you with humour in his pale eyes, maybe even a bit of pity, "A woman from a clan, famous for producing mentally unstable individuals, who either start wars or betray their village."
Your hands immediately tightened into fists, nails digging at the soft flesh of your palms. With a deep breath and teeth sinking deep inside your lower lip, you tried your best to control the rising rage inside your body.
"You don't know anything-"
"I know that even now you are barely holding back", he interrupted, his voice louder than before, "Do you think that we will not only let someone like you in the family, but also let them marry to the future leader of the clan? That we would risk having future heirs who possess the Sharingan, rather than the Byakugan?"
The sudden realisation of your potential future made you freeze. You never really though about children or how your future may look like, but it was now clear to you that Hiashi was, indeed, right.
As long as Sasuke found someone to settle with and produced heirs, your clan was bound to continue to exist and be restored. The Uchiha have powerful bloodline, which even when mixed with someone who is not part of the clan, overpowered the other genes. This why you knew that a few generations in the future, your family was about to be brough back to its original numbers prior to the massacre.
The Hyuga clan, however, could not risk their clan leader producing an Uchiha heir. While having pretty strong genes themselves, it was really a half-half chance what the child is going to be. Odds, which were not good enough, especially for a clan that valued purity so much.
The man stood up, making his way toward the door, while leaving you to think over his words.
"If you don't care about yourself and your reputation, which is damaged enough already anyway...", he stopped by the door, giving you one last look, "Then think about Neji. I may have no control over you, but I can promise you that he will not become the leader of the clan if you continue to pose a risk to our family, nor he will remain a member of it."
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The air felt colder than the previous night, dark clouds slowly floating and covering the bottom half of the moon. Leaning against the wooden railing of the main house's terrace, you starred up the sky, wondering what your life would be if you were born into a different lifestyle. With different parents, siblings and without the curse of hatred.
How easy life would be then... No rules, no regrets.
Just freedom.
Soft fingers brushed your hair aside and you jumped at the feeling of someone standing behind you. Turning around you found Neji, who quickly retracted his hand once he noticed your jumpy reaction.
"My flower", he gently smiled at you, closing the distance and attempting to kiss your lips, but landing on your cheek instead after you turned your head last minute. Immediately furrowing his brows, he grabbed your face in his hands and turned it towards him, his eyes immediately noticing the lack of excitement that usually radiated from you every time you saw him.
"What's wrong?", the young man wasted no time enquiring, the bluntness of his words reminding you of that of his uncle. You tried to smile, but your heart did not allow you to fake your emotions before him. There was no point either way - Neji was excellent at reading people, especially you. Sometimes you felt he knew you better than you knew yourself.
"Walk with me", was all you replied, before stepping back and walking down the stairs. When you noticed he was not following, but remained in his place, you extended one of your hands toward him, "Please."
He stared at you unsure what he should do, but eventually he followed you, frowning when you retracted your hand before he could grab it. You walked in silence between the small houses forming the Uchiha compound, before he tried to quiz you again:
"Did I do something? Are you upset with me?"
You shook your head, your heart ripping apart inside of your ribcage at the thought that he was torturing himself with the idea that he had done something wrong. Your pain also increased knowing what were you about to do was going to crush both of your souls.
"Of course not", you denied, "I just... I really want to show you something."
Neji glanced at you again, not saying anything. One quality that you admired about him was his patience - he was not pushy or assertive, instead he always gave you space when he felt like you may need it.
Just like he was doing now.
Reaching the end of the compound, you found yourself standing in front of small memorial temple, the Uchiha symbol, painted over the double doors, was now dusty and in places - completely missing.
"I haven't been here since I was a kid", you smiled sadly, going up the few steps and entering the small space with Neji following cautiously behind. He knew what the building was - his own clan had a very similar temple in their own compound, a way for the family members to seek guidance and comfort from their ancestors in times of great need. Unlike his, however, the Uchiha temple was dark, dusty and covered with webs - a sign that not only you haven't visited in a long time, but neither had Sasuke or any other person.
You made your way towards the middle, grabbing what was once a candle, but now was just a piece of melted white wax.
"I came here the day before me and Sasuke left the village", you said, your eyes moving up the large stone in the centre of the temple, where the names of all of the deceased Uchiha members prior the massacre were neatly written in a big list, "I asked for guidance, for some type of advice... yet I was met only with silence. Maybe this is why I found myself taking the wrong path."
Neji kneeled next to you, his hand finding yours and giving you an assuring squeeze of his fingers.
"Yet here you are", he calmly stated, his free hand wiping the dust away from the altar from where you picked the candle from, "You found yourself and you came back home. That is something that not everyone can do."
You let him hold you, his words of comfort making your eyes sting. Yet, you refused to cry, not wanting to scare him. Instead, you took a deep breath, before reaching to your dress pocket and getting out a new candle and a box of matches. You carefully placed it in the middle of the altar and lighten it.
You lifted your gaze towards the stone with names, the only one you recognized being the ones of your grandparents written right at the bottom. Your memories of them were somewhat lost in the fog of time, yet you tried your best to keep them alive in your mind, as well as the rest of your family.
"Maybe. But this is not why I brought you here", for the first time this evening you looked at him straight in the eyes, "I wanted to..."
The words died in your throat and Neji gave a gentle squeeze to your hand, a reassurance that you can take as long as you need to tell him whatever was on your mind.
"My flower, don't feel the need to-"
"I can't be with you anymore."
His hand suddenly withdrew as if your skin burned him and you desperately fought the instinct to reach out to him. He remained silent, studying your face with his brows furrowing more and more, till there was a deep crease between them.
"Y/N...", your name rolled out way too calmly for your liking, "Tell me what is going on."
Your face remained stoic, the fear of accidentally indicating even with the slightest twitch that you are lying paralyzing every muscle you had. Dragging your tongue across your dry lips, you took a deep breath, before repeating the same story you have been rehearsing for hours that day.
"My ancestors have showed me the truth", you stood up, gaze focused on the stone before you, "I have a duty towards the future generations to ensure the survival of my clan and my bloodline."
Your lover quickly followed your movements, but instead focused his attention on you. You heard him loudly gulp, before speaking:
"I assume the "truth" they have showed you does not involve me."
Neji has always been smart, often too smart for his own good. Which is why it didn't take him longer than few seconds to feel the direction in which you were trying to stir the conversation. You remained looking at one unspecific spot in front of you, still trying to contain the tears that threatened to spill any moment.
"With Sasuke gone, I am the one who is in charge of this clan", your back straightened more and more with each word, your body turning to face his, "It is my duty to ensure that the future leader will possess the Uchiha genes."
Something in his jaw worked and his eyes narrowed just a bit, a sign he was analysing something.
"Are you pregnant?"
A faint blush covered your cheeks at his question and you shook your head 'no'. You and Neji had been intimate a few times in the past, but you have always been careful.
"No, of course not!"
"Then why are you doing this?", his arms crossed in front of his chest, "Because you had a dream?"
The way he said it sounded almost mocking and you gave him a glare, suddenly feeling stupid after realizing how absurd it sounded. Maybe you should've come with a different story, about how you were going to travel with your brother or something.
"It was a guidance."
"Your ancestors didn't gave you a guidance when you needed it most and but suddenly they feel concerned if you future children are going to be Uchiha?"
His voice was getting lower, while his face remained serious, and you quickly understood that his patience was starting to run thin. Neji was an understanding man, but he was no fool - he knew when somebody was trying to lie to him, especially when that somebody was you.
"Perhaps the guidance comes when it is needed, not when it is sought."
"Don't lie to me!", his calm exterior cracked and he grabbed your hand, turning you toward him, "Everything was fine this morning and suddenly you feel like we are not good together anymore? All because of the idea of children, which we don't even have?"
"Does it not bother you?", your voice raised as well, "The idea that your successor may not be Hyuga? The idea that you would betray your clan?"
Neji remained silent and his hand slowly removed itself from you. A sudden wave of coldness hit you once his warm touch was gone. He studied your face, carefully examining each movement you made.
"Did anyone from my clan come to visit you?"
So he has put the pieces together. You should have expected this... It was now or never! You had one chance to execute your lie perfectly.
C'mon, Y/N! You have been tricking men all your life, just calm your nerves, look into his eyes and... strike.
"We had fun time, Neji", a small apologetic smile danced on your lips and your hand reached to his crossed arms, laying on top of them, "But it is time to think about the future! And having fun is not enough for me to keep pretending anymore... The same way it was not enough for all these that tried before you."
The more you talked, the more distressed he started to appear. He was trying to hide it well, but the way he was biting the inside of his lips and the nervous twitch of his toes were enough for you to know how he really felt.
"You are lying...", it sounded like he tried to reassure himself, rather than confront you.
"I was", you shrugged your shoulders, "But not anymore. It is time to be honest with each other."
"You said you love me-"
"I said what I knew you needed to hear."
That triggered something in him and he looked at you with disgust, before stepping away from you. Turning his back, you could see him taking deep breaths in attempt to calm himself. You closed your eyes, unable to witness the pain you have caused him.
"The stuff they said about you...they are all true, aren't they?", his voice came out quiet and you almost missed it with the sound of the wind outside, "About how you tricked men, women and children, just to further the agenda of hatred you shared with your brother! How you used people's kindness only to stab them in the back once you no longer need them! How villages were burn and people were exiled, because they were foolish enough to trust you..."
You couldn't keep your tears anymore and you let out a loud sob, rubbing the sleeve of your top against your eyes. But unlike the usual comfort Neji provided in moments like this, the only thing he offered you was a glare mixed with disgust and anger.
"Why are you crying?", he rhetorically asked, scoffing at your behaviour, "Do you want me to feel bad for you? After you ripped my heart out and stomped on it just so you can have "fun time"?"
Choosing to move your eyes to your shoes instead, you watched your tears falling on the cold stone below. You always thought you knew what pain was having lost so much since such an early age... But what you felt at this moment was the most excruciating feeling you have ever experienced.
Shaking his head, Neji let out a sigh, before he closed the distance and wrapped one of his arms around your shoulder.
"Shit, I...", it was the first time you ever heard him swear and it surprised you, "You have no idea how much I hate you right now... and how much I hate myself for the fact I can't bear the sight of you being upset."
Your knees gave up under you and if it wasn't for Neji, holding you, you would've collapsed on the ground. Hearing him say he hate you was the final drop in the already overflowing pool of emotions you were feeling, but you couldn't be mad at him. You hated yourself too, probably more than he could ever do.
Staying intervened with each other, you tried to burn the feeling of his body against yours into your mind, so you had a bittersweet moment to cherish for the rest of your life. Because no matter what happened with you, Neji or even Hiashi, you knew that there was no going back.
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Weeks passed and Neji never came back, neither you saw him in public. You didn't even remember when he left on the day you ended your relationship, all you could remember was him carrying your tired body inside, before laying you down and leaving without another word.
Neji, however, saw you. Every morning when you were leaving your house for groceries. Every evening, when he was walking home with Lee and TenTen after training and he could see the outline of your silhouette walking around the house through your window.
The young Hyuga has always been somewhat reserved and cold, especially to people he didn't know. But since that day he started shutting everyone out - his teammates, his family, even his sensei. And no matter how hard they tried to reach out to him and find out what was going on, he refused to let anybody in, instead focusing all his energy in either doing solo missions or training.
The only person that could make sense of Neji's current state was Hiashi, who after a few weeks of watching his nephew push himself to the limit, decided it was time to have a talk with him.
"It is the Uchiha woman, isn't it?", he asked one day while watching over the compound with his hands clasped behind his back. He never even glanced at Neji, who looked at him with surprise, before pressing his lips into a thin line.
"I see", Hiashi said after the few seconds of silence, "They have this strange aura about them. It's almost like they are luring you in, trying to stray your attention away from what is really important... Her mother was the same."
The young man did not reply, instead eyed his uncle suspiciously. He waited for him to continue, but was met only with silence. After a while, he forced his gaze away and mimicked his position by moving his own arms behind him.
"I wouldn't know, uncle."
"Wouldn't you?"
It almost felt like time stopped and Neji held his breath. Hiashi continued to look ahead, appearing to all the other member of the family that passed by that he was just enjoying the peace of his own mind.
"That part of the wall that you kept climbing in order to sneak out is right under my window."
His nephew pressed his eyes closed and let out a small sigh. Did he feel disappointed because of the lack of care he was exercising? Yes.
Was he surprised? No, not really. Hiashi seemed to have his way of knowing everything about the members of the clan - what were they doing, where were they, who were they with. Neji supposed this was one of his responsibilities as the clan leader.
"It is over, uncle", he said, feeling there is no point in lying or trying to come up with a story. The older man finally turned his attention to him, resting one of his hands on his shoulder.
"Then stop mourning over it", his finger gently squeezed Neji's shoulder, "She has made the right decision."
Hiashi offered the younger man a sympathetic smile, but in response he only received a blank stare. He could feel the muscles under his hand tense and he moved it away, feeling the hostile energy radiating from his nephew.
"How do you know it was her who made the decision?", Neji asked, his intuition already telling him the right answer.
For all the years he had the chance to observe his uncle, he has never seen him flustered. But now, as he was trying to convince him that he it was just a "guess", he noticed the red tips of his ears and the nervous twitch of his nose and he knew that for a fact he was right the first time.
A member of the Hyuga did indeed visit you.
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You whole life was built on dependency. A harsh realization, but true. First it was your brother, then it was Neji - there has always been someone who has acted as your safe place, someone you can rely on and be vulnerable in front of.
With your sibling gone and your lover feeling nothing else other than hate towards you, you felt more alone than ever. Sure, you still had some friends visiting you, like Naruto or Ino, but nothing could fill the large gap you felt in your chest.
Every time you got tempted to tell the truth, you quickly reminded yourself that you did this for Neji's own good. You felt silly and stupid for even entertaining the idea that your romance could blossom into a marriage. Maybe you should've pushed him away the moment he told you that he doesn't "date" casually and he has serious intentions toward you, despite being together for only 6 months.
"I've known you for years", he said that day, "and 6 months are more than enough for me to know that there is no one else I want to spend my life with."
That was a year ago and you shouldn't know better. In a world build on old customs and traditions, where the only pursuit was power, there was no place for love.
7 weeks, 3 days and 13 hours have passed since you last saw the young Hyuga. You didn't want to count every passing minute, but it seemed your brain was automatically doing it for you as a reminder as to when have you committed the biggest mistake of your life.
You remained laying on your bed, eyes trained on a small black line on the wall. The memory of how it got there was fresh in your mind - you and Neji were making a list of all the places you wish to travel to one day, when you both started arguing if the Land of Water should be one of them. A verbal bickering soon turned into a tickling fight and you accidentally scratched your pen against the wall, leaving a mark on it. You were angry at him for making you leave such an ugly scratch on the white paint back then, but looking at it now you appreciated it as one of the few things that reminded you of him.
A loud knocking sounded around the house and you buried your head in your pillow.
"Not again, Naruto!", you groaned, your voice muffled in the soft material. The blonde has noticed you have been very cold and melancholic lately, thus making it its own personal mission to come and try to get you out of the house every single day. While you knew he had good intentions, you couldn't help but find his constant visits a bit annoying.
The knock sounded again and you huffed, standing up and throwing on yourself the first house robe you found laying nearby. Making your way downstairs the sound kept getting more persisting, as if the person on the other side was starting to lose their patience.
"Kami, Naruto, are you trying to break my door-", the words got stuck in your throat once you saw who was visiting you, "Neji?"
The man pushed his way past you, rubbing both his hands over his face. His usually perfect attire was wrinkly, his long hair was all over the place and the dark circles under his eyes hinted that he hasn't slept well for a while.
"You lied to me!", he exclaimed, the sudden loudness startling you, "You tried to sell me this stupid story of yours about your ancestors, and your guidance, and your future heirs... And it was so obvious you made it all on the spot! I can't believe I fell for all this nonsense!"
You remained quiet, not sure if he does expect any type of answer or explanation from you or if he just wanted to rant.
"Why did you not tell me he visited you?", he asked, turning towards you with angry eyes and you didn't need clarification about who "he" was. You didn't know how or when, but Neji must have found out about his uncle's visit to your house.
"Should I tell you every time someone drops at my house?", you wanted to light up the mood a bit, but given the annoyed glare the young man gave you, it seemed he did not appreciate your attempt for a joke. You let out a sigh, walking over to the living room:
"What difference would that have made?"
Neji followed you, letting a scoff at your words and crossing his arms.
"It would have given me the opportunity to tell you that you are absolutely out of your mind for listening to him", he argued, his voice cracking in the end. Never have you seen Neji so stressed and unable to control himself, and it did break your heart all over again to witness it.
"He just wants the best for you and the clan."
"If he did, he wouldn't have abolished the branch system so late", he countered straight away and you shut your mouth, knowing you can't argue with that point, "He is old and bitter man, who is so unhappy he tries to make everyone else unhappy."
The shock from his words must have been evident on your face, because Neji let out deep exhale, before crouching in front of you and taking your hands in his.
"I see you", his voice was now gentle and he looked into your eyes, "I don't care for your name or for your Sharigan, or for what you did in the past... I see the real you... and I love you."
The tears you have been fighting finally started sliding down your face and he got up from his position, cupping your cheeks and wiping them with his thumbs.
"I don't deserve... you", you hiccupped, resting your hands on top of his, "And I can allow for you to give up on the clan position because of me, I-"
"I don't care if I become a leader of the Hyuga or not", he interrupted you, eyes seeking yours, "I will give it up without a second thought if that means I can be with you."
"But if we have children-"
"I don't care about that, even if they had an additional third eye on the forehead and all of them were possessing the Sharingan", he assured you, caressing your now damp cheeks. After a second, he added:
"Okay, maybe I would care a little bit, but that is because it would freak me out if they have a third eye on their forehead."
A small laugh made its way past your lips and Neji smiled in return, wrapping his arms around you.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't have said the stuff I said about you."
"Don't be!", your face buried in his chest and you inhaled deeply the lavender smell you grew to love so much, "I should be the one apologizing, I... I just wanted to do what is the best for you. I wanted to protect you."
Neji whispered a quiet "I know" in your hair, while laying a few gentle kisses on top of your head. He kept you close to his body, relieved he finally had the opportunity to hold you again. If it wasn't for the sound of his heartbeat right next to your ear, you would have thought that all of this was just another one of your dreams.
"We are going to be okay", he mumbled, his hands rubbing your back up and down, "As long as we are together, we are going to be okay."
You hummed at his words, before moving your head and looking into his eyes. You have never noticed before, that despite despite the pale colour, there were still different shades of light blue, pink, purple and white in them. Almost like they were holding a small universe behind, you suddenly felt overwhelmed with all the love you felt for this man.
"I see you, Neji Hyuga", you repeated his earlier words, "and I love you."
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