#Humans in Space

[accursedvoid]

Ran across a ‘humans are weird/space orcs/humans in space’ post the other day talking about how humans make up games if they’re stuck somewhere with nothing to do and it just got me thinking about that one game and how aliens would be so baffled

As in THE game, you all know the one (for those reading this I’m so sorry to make you lose ‘the game’ again, if it’s any consolation I have now lost ‘the game’ making this post myself) and just how baffling that is from a non human perspective can you imagine it-

this is for fun? And it’s not even a game game? It’s just saying you lost the game/mentioning ‘the game’ and humans will get irrationally annoyed/upset/angry about it like-

Brian: hey Lee, guess who just lost the game?

Lee: what gam- OH YOU ASSHOLE I HAD A STREAK OF FOUR YEARS GOING!!!

Every alien in the room: ??????

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

[stubz]

Injuries and a ship invasion, no one dies

"Why do they let humans take care of our younglings? If it hadn't been for the coalition then it would've been another century till they realize our existence. Their senses have dulled to the point where its laughable that they are the dominating species of their planet. And lets not forget the fact that they're at constant war with each other over the most stupidest things, color of skin, where one lives, who they love, what they believe, etc."

"Calis stop it! Your being a xenophobe. And while some of that is true you should know by now that the humans care deeply for our children."

"I am simply being concerned parent who worries for their young's safety and well-being...we are in a dangerous area right now, the middle of a war zone, and it would make me feel safer if we had some others at the care centre till reinforcements arrive."

"Trust me my brightest, the humans will do everything they can to ensure the safety of our Dali...and knowing them they'll likely surprise you and live up to their reputation."

"...fine, fine, I apologize, you are right. The humans have surprised me so far, what's one more?"

.

..

...

....

"WHERE IS DALI?! WHERE IS MY YOUNGLING CAPTAIN!"

"Calis calm down! Your arm!"

"NO! YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME TO CALM DOWN WHEN ENEMY FORCES HAVE INVADED OUR SHIP AND NONE OF US CAN FIND OUR YOUNG!!"

"Calis, your hurt and so is your partner. Think of Gala, they need you right now."

"...Gala is hurt because they were looking for Dali. They got shot because they were heading to the centre...I have to find Dali. For Gala, Captain."

"I'm sure that Kim and Max are doing everything they can to keep them safe."

"With all do respect Captain, how could 2 unarmed humans survive what our force couldn't."

"...I don't know but its probably going to be one hell of a story we'll be telling for the ages. Now go get your arm treated. That's an order."

.

..

...

....

"WE FOUND THEM!"

"CAPTAIN WE FOUND THE YOUNGLINGS!"

"WE NEED A CRANK AND SEND EVERY AVAILABLE MEDIC!"

"oh great stars please no...nonononono DALI!" the Delzah rushed forward, breaking through the search party, only to be stopped by their captain.

"Calis...you have to let them do their job. We, we just have to hope." he could not help the hitch in his breath. Hoping, praying, that his own child was okay underneath the wreckage that was once the youngling care centre.

They fight and thrash until eventually grief overtakes them. They collapse into the captain's arms wailing.

"...what hope do I have that my child is alive under all that rubble. Captain...the only hope I have is that they died quick and that they are with the stars now..."

"Oh Calis..." he sobs. He knows it. There was hardly a chance that anyone was still alive underneath there. Only the strongest younglings who were from a strong species may survive and his child was not one of those few. They were strong but his child was like him...a runt, the joke of the family. Too small, too weak, too soft. She was surely dead...why couldn't it have been him?

"MAPA!"

"PAPA!"

One by one, children emerge from an opening made in the rubble, and at the front of them was Dali and a small feline like child.

"my glorious star" flinging themself from the Captain Calis dragged themself to meet Dali who leaped into their Mapa's arms.

The captain was not too far behind, running to his daughter and cradling her close. Words were not exchanged but Calis could feel the vibrations coming from their purrs.

"See...I told you they would be waiting..."

last to emerge from the rubble was the humans, carried out on stretchers. Only one was conscious. Glass glittered from their skin, dirt and dust blended with vibrant red blood, staining their white bandages, and a rebar was poking out of the unconscious one's side.

"You...got everyone right?"

"Yes, human Max."

"Good...that's good..." and finally did they lose consciousness.

.

..

...

....

"Apparently they covered the windows and hid the kids in the storage room, putting them to the farthest corner while they formed a human wall in front of the door.

When those quiznaking bastards couldn't break down the door they rigged the centre with explosives. Lucky for us the humans personally requested that the storage room be made durable for the equivalent of their disasters on earth so it held up decently well."

"But how did they get so injured?"

"Decently well, meaning the room wasn't completely stable. Eventually the walls started to give and the humans had to improvise by becoming the new pillars. They took shifts until they both had to hold up the weight for what the kids guess to be 3 hours...imagine holding up all of that weight until you were on your hands and knees with rebars, broken glass, and debris piercing into your body."

"...Gala said that Human Max nearly flatlined and Human Kim needed 2 liters of blood."

"You seem confused."

"...Humans are impressive but how did they do all of that? They were already injured and yet managed to hold up a collapsed ceiling for hours until help arrived, I thought they were completely average and even weaker than us."

"Apparently when their loved ones, especially children, are in danger they tap into their more primal instincts. Allowing them to withstand a shot to the side, a slab of concrete to the head, and hours of keeping a ceiling from collapsing until they know everyone is safe.

Heard a story of a human who died only after he saw his kids was safe from a fire."

"Looks like Gala was right. Humans have surprised me once again."

[planariaareneat]

Dogs are Weird

It’s safe to say humans will likely be a ubiquity through the galactic community, for the most part. Many of us have a tendency to go beyond, to see new things and forge frontiers. Undoubtedly it must be true of many other species, especially those that make it to space all by themselves, but it’d be wrong to discount it simply because we’d be one of many.

Of course, on the odd ship that permits sufficiently domesticated and socialized fauna (‘pets’, if one wants to be informal) alongside sophonts, we’d be accompanied by a wide variety of fellow mammals. Small, fluffy creatures that yip; elongated and sinuous animals, borne on stout legs and bearing long snouts; friendly yellow beasts with lips pulled into a smile and fur like a shag carpet; maybe even muscular guardians, originally bred to fight or to protect - though hopefully more well-tempered by now. Maybe even variations of them we can’t yet envision will accompany us by the time we can bring them to the stars. 

Aliens might be deeply confused when they ask about what any one of these are, just to get the same answer: a dog. 

Domestication and selective breeding won’t be unfamiliar to most aliens. Even being in the company of (ancestrally) efficient social predators that can enmesh well into the hierarchy is likely not to be as odd as one might think. But even among our own throng of domestic mammals, canines outshine them all in one way: variation. 

Only 7 sets of genes (containing ~25 genes total) control the size of dogs, and just a couple need to be mutated to drastically change dog size. The difference between a chihuahua and a mastiff lies on these genes. Compare this to cats, who tend not to have much size variation in spite of a history of focused selective breeding spanning around the same amount of time as dogs. It’s argued - and not questioned - that dogs may have the most phenotypical variation of any land mammal, extant or extinct, within a single species. 

It’s entirely possible that many aliens may never have domesticated a species with such a simple control for massive changes. They’ll see us come to the stars with an endless menagerie of creatures under a single name.

On one last note…we often sing our praises of our capacity to pack-bond with just about anything; but dogs also chose to pack-bond with us those 30,000 years ago, and they chose to do it again and again and again…

Just as we pack-bond with our new allies among the stars, dogs will likely trot and frolic with all manner of aliens as well. They’ll tussle and fight over toys just as excitedly with insectoid hounds and scale-clad schnauzers as they do already with us and each other, while we sit on the side with our extraterrestrial friends and watch them, just as we always have.

[mindful-mountaineer]

Humans Are Weird: Adrenaline

“I’m coming, Steve!”

“Adam, I’m okay. I swear, man.” Steve’s voice sounded like he was breathing much too hard.

Adam shook his head. “You are a filthy liar. Faradae?”

“He’s not looking too hot. I need to see what was sliced.” At least that human seemed to be logical.

Adam grunted and moved the rock even farther at Faradae’s words. He pulled harder, yelling as it slid across the terrain. 

Knycuz watched, stunned. He did not see how this was physically possible. Klyls were three times as strong as humans, and he could not move the rock.

But Adam managed to create a space large enough for him to crawl through. There were sounds of a slight struggle, a strangled noise, and then Adam emerged holding Steve in his arms.

Faradae followed them out, immediately kneeling to pull out items from his pack as Adam set Steve down. Faradae quickly ripped open Steve’s pants to clean the fluids off of his extremity. Adam stood over him the whole time, watching carefully, urging Steve to drink clear liquid.

“How is this possible?” Knycuz was looking at Kai next to him. “How could Adam move something I could not? I am stronger.”

“It’s called adrenaline. In some circumstances when we really need to be able to do things like lift heavy stuff, our body pumps out this chemical that can allow us to do impressive feats. Adam really cares about Steve. He needed to get to him. You tried, but you were not frantic. You did not need to get to Steve. Adam needed to, and his body supplied him the energy to do it.”

“Your body has the ability to perform these feats, but you can only access it in rare circumstances?”

Kai nodded. “Yeah. It’s usually to save ourselves or someone we care about.”

Knycuz nodded, too. It was quite an interesting way to respond to these situations. He continued to watch as Adam lifted Steve to his feet, carefully helping him to the carrier. Adam kept watching Steve in a way Knycuz had not observed humans look at each other before.

If you liked this excerpt, you’ll like the full story! Now updated and edited.

Humans Are Weird now out on Amazon! https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B0DDG5C9Z8

And the first ten chapters are FREE!

[lilacargent]

Soooo first post ever and it is because i have gone down the #humansarespaceorcs rabbit hole, and my train of thought was:

Yes humans are weird and do strange things to survive. But more specifically we do weird things to our surroundings to survive, many different things.

What if, it has been a decade or two since the humans joined what ever coalition or council of aliens that work together and as a species they are mostly well known for their ability to grow crops under the worst circumstances (soil, climate anything) ofcourse the other deathworld apex predator human traits make the rounds but over time they seem to assume we cannot surprise them anymore.

Everyone knows that if a planet is ‘owned’ by a certain species they have to pay tax to the coalition, so planets that aren’t particularly useful are undesirable.

This particular planet p-jx-5£2 has been moved around endlessly, given with trade deals to get rid of it. P-jx-5£2 is 97% water, with a very high salt level so inhabitable for all developed aliens. Even though the atmosphere is a nice oxygen base and the gravitational pull allright most for the coalition members the fast spinning moon and the planets quick pace around its sun make the water move and tides switch every 2.5 hours keeping no land dry outside of low tide.

~~~~~~~~

The tall Avian alian il’trexz was elated this day was going to be great, a trade deal with the hardy humans and getting rid of a useless money drain, they didn’t have a clue what they were signing up for!

Turning towards the much smaller bipedal species standing in front of the window looking down on the blue planet that just came into their possession the strange creature mumbled something to them selves, frowning Il’trezx asks ‘im sorry what did you say, you spoke but the translator didn’t pick it up?’ The human (Steve) turned to him away from the window ‘my apologies, i was talking to myself, i said that we had to send the dutch.’ Il’trezx looked befuddled ‘the dutch? Is that some kind of animal?’

Steve threw his head back and made a series of sounds that ruffled the Avians feathers and had he not known it was a laugh it would have made him run for the hills ‘HA I’m going to tell Andreas you said that, no the Dutch is what call people from a country on earth that specialise in these kinds of climates, they’ve been begging for a challenge since they stopped the flooding on the umavi home world.’ With feathers puffed up Il’trezx wonders ‘and they are going to do what? This is an impossible planet’ immediately clasping his beak he looks a the human to see if he seemed angry at being swindled, but to his surprise Steve just looks at him ‘hm so you believe we can’t use this planet. Allright let’s make a bet.’ Interested Il’trezx leans in closer ‘what kind of bet?’ A predatory grin spreads on the bipedal aliens face ‘if we make less of this planet than the amount of tax we have to pay over it we will cover all trade costs for this quarter, insurance, travel all of it.’ Eagerly Il’trezx starts nodding ‘but’ Steve keeps going ‘if we do make more of this planet you will do the same.’

The bet is put onto paper and the higher ups of both parties also agree. In 5 years the Avians would be back and they would balance the costs to the benefits. When they departed Il’trezx says too Steve ‘you must have a lot of faith in these “dutch” ‘ the man grins teeth bared ‘ofcourse, after all they conquered water before’

The five years pass and stories have been going around of a new energy supplier from the humans, producing enough energy to run 78% of their ships and several facilities. Nobody seems to know where it is coming from but no new pollution is measured in any of these facilities. None of this bothers the Avians, after all humans come up with new things all the time.

The five years are up and Il’trezx is invited to the planet with a group of advisors and other officials, the planet which apparently they have renamed to ‘posy’ which is supposed to be short for some kind of sea god from their olden days.

On arrival the amount of coming and going baffles them massive groups of ships docking or docked and all somehow attached to wires that run into machines.

The planets change alone was awe inspiring, two cities on opposite sides of the planet and what seems like millions of weird blades attached to high poles every where. Strange wheels and long walls between towers rising from the rapidly moving waters.

This… this was their new energy source. They somehow made a battery of this uninhabitable planet and then built a home.

On the meeting place Steve is waiting with a man slightly taller than him. Spreading his arms the smaller human says ‘welcome to Poseidon, this is Andreas our main mechanic here. He has been here with planning since orbit 1.’

After the introductions were done Andreas led the group through what they called the Northern city and showed on his device the steps it took to get a foothold and how they proceeded from there, mentioning that many of these steps his home country had used thousands of year ago to gain land from sea, and energy from the movement of water and air. They specialised in this form of terra forming and it showed.

The Avians were astounded, not having realised that there was more than one kind of way the Humans had battled their environment even beating back the waters of their world.

Without a doubt the humans had won the bet and had another legend added to their name. More and more humans showed that with the right motivation they could settle right about anywhere.

********

So yea… my stupid little idea. Hopefully someone will enjoy it. I just liked the idea of specific cultures and stuff. specialising in certain things.

Edit: im amazed people seem to like it! If people have ideas or other cultures they think would baffle aliens, im certainly willing to try and write something

[somerandomjewelleryonthefloor]

For the ‘Humans are *insert word* here/alien fans fanclub’, I have another small headcanon:

I feel like most aliens (from aliens that travel planets, to aliens that are the embodiment of a nightmare, to aliens that are small and fuzzy),

would absolutely love David Attenborough. I mean they probably found out about Earth’s animals and how they live and stuff from watching his documentaries, because one human on a crewship put it on to help them fall asleep.

David Attenborough would be adored by all the cosmos I think.

[brasskingfisher]

Humans are Space Orcs: reverse pack bonding

Ok, so we all know humans will pack bond with anything, and I've seen plenty of fics based around the idea of 'human adopts alien because it's cute/fluffy.' BUT.... what about the reverse? Why wouldn't an alien adopt a human/see it as its' parent for whatever reason, I mean there's several instances of birds (particularly geese) imprinting on humans (both accidentally and deliberately) who are there when they hatch, so why wouldn't that happen in space? Say a human crew find and are examining an alien creature's nest just as an egg hatches. Then the hatchling automatically sees the human as its' parent.

[mozarella-chesse]

If aliens consider Earth to be a deathworld, then what is Venus before potential terraforming? This planet has an incredibly high surface temperature, high pressure, an acidic atmosphere, and an almost complete absence of a magnetic field.

But what did the humans do? They named this planet after the goddess of beauty and said it was the twin of their home world (they call it the damn paradise).

Mars just stands aside from all possible environmental problems of the Earth and thrives (as much as it can).

[gayconstruct]

Humans are Weird — Fever

We literally heat up to cook our bodies when we can't ward off things with our immune cells, and there's a VERY slim margin for what's healthy vs what's not. If you'd like to skip the context portion scroll down to the second set of emdashes

—————

For some quick context, I use some consistent concepts and variations of time words under the impression there's a unified, simplified time scale in an intergalactic universal community

Shifts are 10 hours with hour lunches

There's 3 parts to every species day — Work, Relax, and Sleep — all 10 hours

Diurnal aliens including most humans are working in the mornings, relaxing in the evenings, and sleeping at night

Crepuscular aliens are working in the evenings, relaxing at night, sleeping in the morning

And Nocturnal aliens are working at night, relaxing in the morning, and sleeping in the evening

The clock is from 01:00 — 30:00 (simple 30 hour days for an even number and more leisure time) and rolls over to 01:00 from 30:59 with 01:00 being the roll over from night to morning

Time Increments

Seconds = Instants

Minutes = Moments

Hours = Periods

Days = Cycles

Weeks = Phases

Months = Stages

and Years = Terms

—————

Temperature Rising

Diverse biomes and work sectors began to stir to life, as the many species stationed upon the Integrated Vessel Ro’Vanna responded to the coming shift change. The Universal Timepiece, standard across the known universe, finally struck 0100 Cycles, the nocturnal species like the Umborra and Nostro eager to spend their recreational hours peacefully, while Diurnal species like the Shal’Dorei and newly integrated Humans were waking to begin another productive morning. 

Qin, the most well known Troqir aboard and one of its select Charters, rushed to his station in the hub of the Astrometry Center, cranial crests flaring with an eagerness that to most of his crewmates would otherwise go unnoticed. Ready to start his shift as soon as his posterior hit the chair, the rather tall and muscular humanoid gracelessly plopped down, emitting quite the noise as he got started. Other species present had their full attention focused on their tasking at hand, not a single thought or care thrown to his quite hasty entrance to his station. Several crystalline scales in the crook of his neck iridesced at the thought of his companion joining him soon, his thoughts anywhere but the latest mapping data coming up on his Virtual HUD. Time passed quickly at first, the sturdy man pointing metallic fingers to different notifications that needed immediate attention, adjusting calculations to chart the next few thousand Cargo routes as he went. After roughly 14.5 moments, though, he turned to search for his oddly quiet coworker to notice that the Human had made no attempt to join him this morning, the thought causing a darker color to glisten across his crystal scaling.

He’s late.

Why is he late?

He specifically stated last night he’d “see me soon.”

He’s never this late.

For the first time in his life, Qin was completely out of focus. Several happy-go-lucky phases — human parlance, not his own — had enveloped him, exchanging his stark Troqir logicality for Human whimsy and curiosity. His work tempo was slower and uncoordinated, an unfamiliar feeling coalescing into the turbulent color shifts across his luminescent scales. Every instant that passed on the cargo vessel's timekeeper seemed to lurch at an uneven pace, a deepening pit forming at the base of his abdomen. For four and a half painstaking periods, Qin swallowed his personal thoughts to gain some form of traction on his workload, swallowing emotion as all of his people were taught and opting for diligent productivity, until - finally - the release of his allotted Nutrition Period arrived. There was no moment spared as his dense footfalls rushed towards his companions quarters, his focus unbroken as the ceiling dropped from 4 meters to a much tighter 2.4m. Qin, at just under 2.2 meters, absentmindedly ducked to overcompensate, having quickly become accustomed to this section and its many distinctions after quite a few visits. 

There at last, the tall, silvery man reached what was worth looking for, a door which read in standard human language,

Room 152

Aspen Wright

With the slightest shake in his hand, Qin formed his digits into a fist to knock. 

Knocking… he thought, quite the odd custom, but like many human practices, this was the most respectful of his companion’s personal space and time. For several instants, the silence in the Human Sector’s Hall allowed him no sweet mercy, the lone alien man uncertain what to do as his weight shifted back and forth between his feet, a metal clang ringing out with each motion. Thankfully, a digital projection finally slid across the width of the door, Entry Permitted, displayed in large English typeface.

Thank the Fathers and Mothers for universal translation.

With the invitation obvious and a rather low duck through the smaller door, Qin entered into the darkened room — the simulated window turned off, the curtains drawn, clothes strewn across the floor, and strange devices and pill capsules laid upon the table — not even the so-called “fairy lights” lit the quarters he had become so accustomed to. The Troqirian’s own voice came quieter than he expected, as he rasped out, “Aspen? Are you there?” A strange groan followed, then silence, then- a weary voice.

“Q-,��� a cough, “Qin?”

“Y-yes… it is I, I am present,” a facepalm.

“Oh, this is a-” more coughing, “a surprise. Aren’t you on Lunch Break sweetie?”

For a moment, the light from Qin’s Luminescent Scales - ones at his nape, a few at his crests, even the ones on his exposed digits - shined brighter than before, a rainbow of colors flowing across their surface at the thought of being a “sweetie”, before taking a dim, solemn purple. “I- yes, but when you did not show up promptly 15 moments late after last night's recreation I- I began to worry. Lateness? Normal to an extent. Absence??? Abnormal, even for you… Did I… do something wrong? Did our meetings and leisure time make work uncomfortable for you?”

For his first time that entire cycle, Aspen bolted upright with a purpose, but immediately regretted it as a wave of dizziness caused the room to spin around him before he fell the wrong direction, right out of his bed into the floor.

The sight startled Qin, having no frame of reference where the human man was until now, “Fathers and Mothers! Aspen, are you injured!?”

With a weak chuckle and the groan of even more pain, he responded in turn, “I’m fine, I’m fine… I’m sorry to worry you, you never make me uncomfortable dear, I’m just a bit [under the weather] today.” Another small laugh came, and then he continued, “I was trying to tell you that, and I- I must’ve moved too fast… everything is- ugh everything is spinning. Could you help me back into bed?”

Frantic to assist, Qin’s larger form - clumsy in the smaller space, helped lie the smaller, lighter human in his nest, placing his head upon the pillow. Once situated, he covered the small man, as many human’s liked, and noticed his skin far hotter to the touch than normal, homeostatic balance oddly off. “Damn translator…” a joyous light crossing his scales as he used the human swear as he’d been taught, “for whatever reason the English to Troqirian dictionary hasn’t found a suitable translation for your imprecise speech… Could you please explain?”

“Ah, thank you for the lift, love.” Settling for an instant, eyes closed and his head on the pillow, Aspen pondered with a clouded, slow mind, trying to search for the words as his body ached and caught a chill. “... uh- an English idiom of common use in my native tongue… it’s like… to feel sick, to be unwell. I didn’t go to my work shift today because I’m too sick to go… I’m- I’m sorry I didn’t contact you to say something, this fever is really kicking my ass.”

Fever? What in the Cradles was a Fever? 

“Ah… Fever- yes. Hmm, and that is… The translator states you have an elevated temperature? You were hot to the touch, hot because you’re currently ill, or ‘under the weather’ as it were?” Pondering his line of thinking, Qin couldn’t help but attempt to puzzle it together, his evolved logic center placing presented data together to reach understanding. 

Why is his temperature so elevated? He… he’s too hot… His temperature felt at least 311.8°K through my temperature cells… Humans are on average 310.2°K and their species exhibits signs of death at temperatures of 315°K or more… Fathers and Mothers that’s far too close. That is far too close.

Startling Aspen’s tired eyes open, the large metallic man started in with question after question, “How are you okay? You were perfectly normal yesterday. You’re temperature is far too elevated! Are you dying? Do you need emergency services? I can call the Human Physician on board! I can, I can, I-”

“Stop. It is gonna be okay. This- uh this is a normal human response to various pathogens our immune system is unable to combat with its defense cells, so we get hotter and hotter to try to kill the invader before it can do too much damage. I’ve already spoken to the captain and the doctor and I was given some things to bolster my strength while I attempt to naturally ride out my fever. It’s gonna be okay Qin, I’m gonna be okay. The fever just has to kill the pathogen and it’ll break on its own.”

For several quiet moments Qin sat in disbelief at such a process. Actively breaking their delicate homeostasis for an illness? Their specialized cells unable to do it on their own??? He found himself running his digits through his smaller companions' hair as he pondered. He looked so weak, so small, so… precious. 

Breaking the deathly silence with a few coughs, Aspen shuddered from his fever chills, squinting to the light of Qin’s scales before smiling to himself, “I can see your scared glow through my eyelids, Qin, I promise I’m okay… though the comforting touch is nice.”

“Well your eyelids are thin layers containing Keratin and Collagen, it's a miracle your species is alive…”

A laugh, somewhat stronger this time, escaped Aspen’s lips as he smiled again, “And yours have thick metallic plates and the most beautiful glowing scales I’ve ever seen. What about it?”

A hot reddish-pink overtook the Troqir’s luminescent features as he realized what power the smaller man held over him. The power to care. The power to worry. The power to be emotionally honest, something found few and far between his own people. 

The power to be bold.

“Th-they’re beautiful, you… are beautiful, Aspen… I’m sorry I haven’t said it sooner. You always try to make advances on me, and I always try to deflect them with feigned ignorance.”

Slowly, the small human man scooted to leave some room next to himself in the bed, the blanket moving and leaving him even colder than he already was, “Please… could you stay with me a while longer… could you… could you cuddle me to keep me warm?”

The pink glow wouldn’t cease for some time, as the giant of a man laid down on the small bed and wrapped his warm silvery arms around his companion, a small humming noise coming from deep in his throat like a pur. Aspen snuggled close to stifle his chills, overjoyed to know his feelings were reciprocated. Feeling the radiant heat from his alien partner, he drifted into peaceful sleep for the first time that awful sick day.

[pollen-steve]

Nothing notable happened today, although the one of the humans got sick all of a sudden. They're in the infirmary getting cared for. Report back with any updates.

They ate a spider. 

They ate a frickin spider.

They ate a frickin spider because one of the other humans dared them to.

Why are humans like this????

[human-encounters-diary]

Day 13 The human remains in medical care, although visitations by anyone except the Vitrichl are currently prohibited by the medicals, preventing me from gathering any further observations of human behaviour. I did, although, receive access to a sample the scientific unit had taken from the fluid that the human had regurgitated after her space excursion during the previous cycle, and the results of its analyzation are…rather alarming. The fluid itself is incredibly acidic, and managed to dissolve all test objects given into the fluid in a matter of moments. This obviously raised an even larger question: What was it? A bioweapon? A natural venom? Perhaps Dorag's tales were more credible than previously assumed? Assumptions that could not be proven certainly. But the most alarming aspect of this is rather another question raised by these discoveries: If humans naturally posessed such a bioweapon, perhaps naturally produced it in their bodies, what did they need it for? The existence of such an mechanism implied the probable existence of a predator strong and agile enough that it was vital for humans to develop such a mechanism.

Even if that assumption is proved to be untrue, this discovery still turns humans into a much bigger threat than we had previously determined.

(Further note: One of the medicals has reported the human had repeatedly protested against any advances to provide her with medical care, continuously insisting she was alright and in no need of medical care. Despite the known durability of humans, she will be kept in medical care for at least one more cycle.)

[stubz]

"Okay everyone floor is lava in 10..."

children scatter across the in door park.

"9..."

some leap onto nearby benches. Others climb nearby trees.

"8...7..."

the nearby safe spots become too crowded. Some force their way in while others sprint for the only place with enough room for the remaining few. The water fountain.

"6...5..."

the fountain can hold them all but is far. The slow one's won't make it.

"3...2...1..."

Some of the strong ones carry the slowest. their kindness is their downfall.

"FLOOR IS LAVA!!"

the lava takes them.

"Okay everyone on the ground is out!"

*chorus of groaning*

"So we have, 1, 2, 3...8...11...wait. Everyone hold still for a sec." the human recounts the children. And then again. And again.

"Where's Piper?"

"She was running that way!"

"Yeah towards the field!"

"The field? But there's nothing to climb there.."

"Is the floor still lava!?!"

Out in the field is Piper, sitting on top of her other teacher Kim's shoulders.

"Piper your out, you know the rules. You can't ask someone to carry you when the floor is lava."

"I didn't carry her."

"Kim no fibbing. Kids don't like it when it comes to floor is lava."

"No really I didn't. She climbed me," the woman picks the girl off her and put her down "show them Piper."

The 7 year old smiles and goes behind Kim and then starts to climb. Using the adults calves as a step she boosts her other foot to Kim's hip and then latches onto her neck with her arms. From there she shimmies herself onto her teacher's shoulders. All while Kim keeps her arms to her sides.

"...how long has she been able to do this?"

"Since yesterday."

"That's really cool."

"I know, right?"

.

..

...

"Human Kim I'd like to ask you a question about...human children."

"Yeah sure, go ahead."

"So as you know I am courting Morgan, who has 2 children, and I was wondering if it's normal for them at their age to not be able to climb me or him?"

"Climb you?"

"Yes, like that human child with blonde hair. Harrison is about her age yet he can't climb us like she can climb you."

"...Ohhh, yeah that's not a normal thing."

"Really?? But she does it with such ease and you look so, so, used to it. As if it was normal behavior."

"Piper is incredibly flexible and strong for her age, and while yes I am used to it that's because I'm used to kids climbing me while I'm sitting or helping them."

"So human children do climb their caretakers?"

"Yes."

"But Piper's climbing is not normal?"

"...yes. Wait. Hold on...So human children do climb on their family members but most of them can't climb to an adult's shoulders like that without help. Only a few like Piper are strong enough to do that."

"Ah. So I should not be concerned that Morgan's children can't do that?"

"No, you should not."

"Okay then. Humans are strange."

"That they are!"

[blurring-ramblimgs]

Humans as a species are fundamentally coded to find companionship, form groups, to come together in packs as a way of safety.

As they evolved, however, they met one another, they clashed, and they fought. They found the worst in companionship and found the best in it too.

They shared information, communicated, and spoke. They built towers taller than the clouds and climbed the tallest mountains. They dug into the heart of their earth, filled only with curiosity and the prospect of finding new information about their home's past. They went past where any animal in their world had been, pushed past the limits of evolving featherless, and looked to the stars.

They soon found themselves racing against one another, to push past the limits of their home, a place they'd conquered and charted many years before. They entered Orbit, then set foot on their moon.

Then it was silent.

They'd assumed they had broken all possible goals, they couldn't reach farther than the moon in any visible future.

And the humans went about their lives, still thinking, of course, but forgetting what lied beyond their clouds and silly moon.

They developed their technology, made television that could easily be mistaken for live images, broke the speed of sound, dove into the farthest depths of the ocean, and they did all this, with the help of their creations.

Humans, as a species were made to find companionship.

They found that in these lifeless clumps of wires and servos. They found this.. love and empathy for something that was little more than an empty husk with no soul.

They programmed their creations' first words to be, "Hello, World."

They gave them hearts, empathy, love. They taught them what it meant to be human, to experience boundless curiosity, and to feel the desire to find the answers to their universe.

Robots as a species were made to find companionship.

The humans knew they might not last long. They made time capsules and sent them into the boundless depths of space. They sent satellites to follow after the capsules, then Rovers after the satellites, then nothing.

Their creations were able to find that companionship their species longed for, from within the stars. The robots cheered, celebrated and quickly lead these new companions back to their homeworld, to show what their creators had been able to accomplish in such a long time.

Robots were made to find companionship, yes.

But humans? Humans were meant to destroy themselves.

[mindful-mountaineer]

Humans Are Weird: Pets

“What is a ‘pet?’”

“They’re animals that keep us company, and we give them somewhere to live.”

“Small creatures with no benefits except for attractive appearance cause happiness for your species?”

Wren said “Yes!” at the same time Jessica yelled, “No!”

“Some of us like pets,” Adam answered, standing closest to Zork'ak. “Some people find it nice to have a companion. Humans can be tiring to be around at all times, but a creature that does not speak and just spends time with you is nice.”

“Then why is it that Jessica fears the same animal Wren is to keep?”

“Probably because it is capable of attacking Jess. See, some people focus on what could happen, like how Jessica knows that most animals can hurt us. Other people focus on what they hope will happen, like how Wren wants it to spend time with her. Depending on the person, it sends different emotions through the chemicals in our brains.“

"Each human can be afraid of different animals?” Adam nodded. “What causes this fear for some of you?”

“Uh, some people have bad experiences. Like, Jess might have been bitten by a dog, an animal that looks similar to Wren’s new pet, and now she fears them. Or, she could just believe that the animal is not tame, no matter how many times you tell her it is, and she will fear it because of its capabilities.”

“Your brain is triggered by animals, and it interprets it differently?”

“Precisely.” Zork'ak and Adam were watching as Wren tried to walk towards Jessica, who was making more and more high pitched sounds. “Uh, let me deal with this.” Adam then removed the Phalsydy out of Wren’s grasp and ordered them both to sit. Surprisingly, they both did, and Adam kept the small species close to his body. 

After Adam told Wren to stop ‘pissing Jess off,’ Zork’ak was uncertain of that meaning, Wren moved across the table from Jessica, and Adam placed the animal back in her lap. “Be nice.”

She nodded, petting the Phalsydy and offering it towards Zork’ak. He reached out to gently to touch the animal to appease Wren, and it did. Her mouth upturned a little.  

And Zork’ak felt the urge to keep going, if only to make her smile.

If you liked this excerpt, you’ll like the full story! Now updated and edited.

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