#Hueningkai angst

[hyukascampfire]

𝑯EART 𝑊ORM ⸺ hueningkai ℘˒´ˎ˗

  ⨾𓍢ִ໋ ˒˒ 𝚑𝔢art𝚠𝔬rm

[𝑛]. a relationship or friendship that you can't get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

⸺ listen to the playlist .ᐟ ‧˚

〝﹙ 📼 ﹚“I was just... wondering,” you say, blood roaring. "Well, Yeonjun wants me to come over to his place this weekend, and... I’ve never...” Sucking in a quick breath, you just spit it out to get it over with, “Would you be my first kiss, Kai?”  ˛ ､､

wc ➛ 17.9k

𝔭airings childhood bsf!kai x reader (lowkey soulmates?) ⤷ ft. asshole!yeonjun x reader

𝒢 ‎; smut ˒ angst ˒ some fantasy

𝔴arnings angst, family issues, fingering, jealousy (i’m sorry i just love ts), yeonjun really is an asshole, orgasm denial, thigh fucking, unprotected sex (they're stupid!), strength kink a lil bit, breeding kink, possessiveness, creampie, choking... i think that's all, lmk if i missed any

✎୭ ashlynn's note omg. this was such a fun palate cleanser to write. this wasn't supposed to be as big as it is, but it just kept getting bigger and bigger, and i got super into the story. this kai is SOOOO!! yeah. i’m so nervous posting this because i’ve only ever posted TSFAWC, but…. here you areee (^^;; this is not proofread, so if you see a mistake... give me a sec. i'll get to it. hehe

Though you fan your hand furiously over your face, the little breezes washing over your clammy skin are not enough. The air is thick and heavy with summer’s heat. So thick that you almost feel it each time you swallow. It’s better than just letting yourself melt away, though. The cushion at your back doesn’t help much. It holds your warmth and returns it to you the longer you sit slumped back into it. You suffer it though—you’ve gone too sluggish to move.  

You let a leg dangle over the arm of a chair, watching a hopeful moth dance in the light of the buzzing porch light overhead. It flutters frantically in it, making a grand fight to reach that false moonlight, only to drop away when it realizes that it’s being burnt. You watch it rinse and repeat, relentless and sure, for who knows how long. It’s no special moth—no luna moth or the ones with the pretty pink wings—but the light falls down on it and colors it a pleasant stardust silver.  

You delight in letting your conscious brain turn off to watch it. It lets you forget the sweltering under your skin, and also that Kai had drug you out here. His dad gives him shit when he plays inside, but it’s way too hot to be out here. Isn’t it supposed to cool off after the sun goes down? It doesn’t feel like it. The deep acoustics are drowned out each time a car whirrs by. Playing outside should be the best option, but you and Kai live right on a busy road.  

When the roar of some car going ten miles over the speed limit doesn’t obscure his playing, though, you admire the intricacy of it. His fingers work up and down the neck, jumping frets that you imagine would be impossible to anybody without those long fingers of his. You had always been a loud supporter of his playing, even way back when the most he could play were simple chords, but you became especially so when a few years back he put a guitar in your hands and tried teaching you. Even with his fingers guiding yours, it was quick to learn that the effortlessness with which Kai handles the instrument is hard earned.  

He practices on the acoustic guitar, but that’s not his domain. With houses just a dash across the street from each other, Kai had grown up at your home more than he had at his own. So vividly, you remember the stars in his eyes when he’d listen to your dad’s music. Metallica, The Smashing Pumpkins, Linkin Park, any of it. He had fallen in love with it a long time ago. Your whole life you knew that it was only a matter of time before he was in his own band, chasing his dreams with a boundless mind and an indelible vision of himself on stage. How had that time come so soon, though? You don’t know if the notebooks full of inky lyrics that live wherever he deems inspiration might hit him make you proud or nervous. He’s making good on his dazzling aspirations, and you? 

You speak finally into the air, cutting through heat waves and his music and the night. “Isn’t it weird that we’re not going back to school after this summer?” 

He doesn’t have to even stop playing to answer you. Playing comes to him as a second nature. “Kinda,” he answers, brown eyes flitting up to you. “But it’s not like you won’t be back to it in September. College is the same shit.” 

The leg you’d been dangling and bouncing pauses. That’s right; you’re supposed to be going to that college you’d chosen because it was only a three-hour drive away from here. You pluck at the seat’s threadbare fabric, and the moth, still there, becomes oh-so-interesting once again. When his playing stops, you drop your head back with a cushioned thud and a groan that you wrangle in your throat. 

“Why are you acting like that?” he says, voice gone sharp like accusation. He doesn’t even know the truth, but he’s known you too long.

Can’t you just keep secrets for yourself, sometimes?

Kai, arms clad in a well-loved hoodie even in this dreadful weather, lays the guitar down. You maintain your silence. “Seriously, what?” 

Some secrets have timers, though. This one could only last you until about September, or even August when he realizes that you’re not preparing to return to school. A controlled sigh from your chest isn’t enough to soothe the nerves that sparks. “Nothing.” 

“Secrets, huh?” Kai says. When you do finally look to him, black spikes of hair frame his eyes and the accusation in them. 

It’s a simple poke, but it gets under your skin as sharp as any thorn might. It’s not like you don’t keep secrets from him, and you’re sure he keeps some from you too. But those are the little kinds, the inconsequential ones—like I ate already when asked why you’re not eating or like Yeah, I’m fine when it’s been a bad day. You don’t hide this kind of stuff from each other. Usually, you’d run over to his place to tell him whatever’s bothering you. Why not, when he’s known even the worst details of your life for almost the entirety of it? You’ve been holding this one close to your chest since somewhere around the end of senior year, though. The longer you let it fester, the worse your nervousness snowballs. “C’mon, Kai. Let’s not do this. Can you keep playing?” 

He doesn’t like that, of course. But you watch recognition dawn over his chocolate brown eyes, helpless to stop it. “You’re not going,” he says. It’s not a question nor a suspicion, it’s a bone-dry fact.  

Well. There that goes. You want to tear every hair on your head right out. Why had you even thought you’d keep him in the dark about it? When he’s not out in some garage making music, you two are together. The conversation was going to stroll by at some point; this was only inevitable. His disappointment radiates off him in waves and blisters you. He hasn’t even said anything yet, but you know exactly what he thinks of it. It’s why you kept it from him in the first place.  

Your silence is enough confirmation for him. “Why?” he says. “I thought you were excited to move out.” 

Wincing, you nod slowly. You were. Even went through the whole application process, along with most other kids your age. Ultimately, you never went through with declaring a college. You don’t exactly know why, but somewhere weaseled down in the shadowy recesses of your soul, you know. Taking those steps, the massive and terrifying ones from adolescence into adulthood, meant agreeing that this form of your life was over. It meant that at some point, you’d be moving away from here to where living your days away in Kai’s room would not be a choice. Everybody has to do it eventually, you know that. Kai’s music gig could take off any day, too. He’s going to make it happen. And then what? All this stalling and wishing on just a bit more time would mean nothing, he’d be off and chasing that dream. As excited as you are for it to finally become reality for him, there’s a nasty bitterness that’s budded in your chest, infecting your person.  

Can’t things just stay like this? 

“I was,” you say. It comes out of your mouth heavy.  

“Then why aren’t you going?” he says. Crickets, never seen but always heard, sing their song into the night’s darkness. “You didn’t get rejected. You’re too smart for that.” 

An ache sits heavily somewhere near the center of your chest, maybe over your heart. All those good grades, nights spent bent over a desk and AP paperwork—you’re wasting it. You shake your head. “No... just...” It’s an effort to dress your thoughts in a way that might appease him. A quiet moment stretches with your thinking before you continue, “I don’t know what I want to do.” 

He doesn’t like that, the yellow wash of the overhead light dancing over his taut lips and hard eyes. “Don’t know what you want to do?” he says, bringing his legs up onto the seat to crisscross them. He wears his favorite jeans. They’re heel-bitten and baggy enough over his legs that he can wear them around the house without any bother. “You’ve wanted to be an artist your whole life. You know exactly what you want to do.” 

Your chest only seems to ache harder. When the both of you were only young and hopeful, you both had big dreams. Kai was going to be the face of a metal band, and you were going to be an artist. A painter, potter, sculptor, even doing animation for those big companies like Dreamworks and Disney. You wanted any of it, just as long as you were doing art. You’d even promised him that you’d do the cover art for his albums with interlocked pinkies and flushed, hopeful cheeks. That passion and love wasn’t gone from you, it blazed strong in your veins. This blaze wasn’t the kind that kept you warm and excited to push forward into life, though. It had morphed into something that scalded you when you got too close or started imagining yourself pursuing its call. It’s a taunting silvery glow, no longer a guiding north star. Taunting words of family members stamped down on that hope hard. When you were little, it was said lighthearted and in passing. The older you got, though, the more serious their faces became. They wouldn’t say it outright perhaps, but you hear what they think well enough. Art is a dead-end career.  

Shifting in your seat, you tell him, “I don’t know.” 

“What do you mean?” Kai says. “There are good colleges for that.” 

“I just... don’t know.” 

Shaking his head, he tells you, “But you love it.” 

You do. In its every form, you love creating. But loving it doesn’t mean that it’s right for you, or that you should trust your future in its hands. “I think I can do it in my own time,” you say, finally pushing yourself upright from the cushion. “Don’t wanna kill the passion by doing it for a living, you know?” 

He thinks on that for a moment. “If you love it, you should do it,” he says. 

An awful frustration bubbles in your chest. Kai has always had a clear life path, the steps ahead of him set in stone and waiting for him to follow in them. It’s hard for him to see why you might not want to do the same. There’s nothing that makes you as happy as the fact that he has it all figured out, that he knows just where he’s going and that he’s so incredible at it that he doesn’t have to worry about meeting the requirements, but your path seems obscured and untrodden. Punctuating a deep, resonant sigh, you say, “It’s not that easy, Kai.” 

“If you’re not doing that, then what are you going to do? Are you just going to settle for a nine-to-five?” he says full of accusation, the tapping on his knees gone still.  

A dry laugh, you say, “Maybe I’ll marry a super rich guy and just do my art for a living. No nine-to-five.” 

His face flashes. He’d always been a bit reserved, especially around others, but he bared his emotions freely around you. You hold them dearly to your chest and made sure to do your best to make good on that trust. He says, “You’re more than some guy’s housewife.” 

Cheeks radiating in the heat, you snort. “I know, dork. I’m a rockstar’s best friend. It’s my personal favorite achievement.”  

His face sours when you reach out and pinch hard at his cheek, but he doesn’t pull away or brush you off. The skin there is warmed and clammy. Really, the two of you should go meet the cool AC inside before you suffer heat stroke. But this moment feels so nice—your shoulders feel tons lighter without something to hide. If you had it your way, things would stay like this forever. Just the two of you, sat here like you have so many times before, just taking for granted the time you’ve got together.  

His mouth opens to banter, probably something about how he’s not a rockstar yet or to get you back for calling him a dork. Wingbeat and sterling dashes about your face send the image into a blur, though. You’re a quick mess of limbs and a whipping head, as if it’ll chase the thing away from you. 

“Seriously?” Kai says. You’d climbed halfway over him, elbows digging into him and knee doing a number on his thigh. “It’s a moth. You’re not scared of moths.” 

Lingering for a few moments later to ensure the flying thing was nowhere on you or around you, you hold back a laugh before you climb off him and fix your hair with undignified tucks behind your ears. “He was in my face,” you say around a laugh, because you know it was a bit too much. Nobody likes wings in their ears and spindly legs in their face, though, and you’re in no control of what you do when anything with six legs tries and get too friendly. Even moths.  

“You just wanted me to protect you,” he says. A sarcastic, shit-eating smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.  

“Oh,” you scoff, batting your eyelashes and clasping your hands together all saccharine-sweet. “Yes, Romeo, won’t you kill that bug for me? This girl’s heart just can’t take it!” 

Kai’s nose crinkles, and the playful light twists into a glare. “Nasty.” 

“That’s how you sounded,” you say. “I only reacted accordingly.” Laughing, you kick your legs out over his lap and sprawl back out. He takes the guitar back into his hands. 

As much as you want to escape the mugginess, you’ll survive it for just a little while longer—if only with the force of an indulgent heart. The eternal moments are those you allow to linger.  

⚝⭒ 

Some things, you forget when you’re older. Maybe it’s time’s hand, eroding memories down and stuffing more in the longer you live to experience them. But also maybe because they’re the sort of things you can’t say in the adult world without a laugh in the face and a look from down their noses.  

This memory is one of those forgotten things. It’s moth-bitten and dusty, something you one day folded up in a moving box and decided to never revisit. 

You’d been down at the creek. Kai and you had spent so many summer days there. It wasn’t too far from home, just past the filbert trees and into the shallow neck of the backwoods, but there you were out of sight and free to get up to nothing good. It was a wonder your mom ever let you do it. Kai’s dad didn’t care too much where he went or what he did, but your mom dug her claws in deep. You like to think that she imagined you two would have each other, if anything ever happened. 

Usually, you’d be there holding your jeans up from the stream and Kai would be letting his jeans go dark with it. The bite of water was nice as it washed over warm skin. Fun was a simple thing to find, then. You dug your fingers into the mudbanks and tossed stones way too big to be throwing at each other, just because you two remembered how much the adults hated it when you did. Then, you’d drag tired limbs home avoiding sweetgum tree spikes that had fallen to the ground and dug splinters out from your feet.  

This day, you had been in the blackberry bushes. It was maybe late July or early August, and they’d gotten heavy on their branches. You’d waited until the smell of them, summer-warmed, was sweet and cloying in the air to pick them. With buckets in your hands, you plucked only the fattest berries from their bunches. Your fingers were stained a delightful purple and perhaps a bit thorn raw, but you didn’t mind much then. You plucked for hours, and it was dusk before you could catch it. Dinner was no doubt waiting for you back home. 

“There’s a bunch over here,” Kai had said. He reached a long boyish arm, still awkward and lanky with puberty, up high for ripe bush. You finished off picking before climbing around thick branches sticking out to take a peek. A bunch, there was. 

When you went to drop a handful of them into your bucket, Kai hissed. He’d been snagged by a vicious looking branch, those ones as thick as a finger with thorns to match and you’d warn each other tongue-in-cheek to watch out for that one. He’d worn those ridiculous shorts that day, the ones that looked half pants half shorts with how long and baggy they were, and the claws of the bush had jumped at the opportunity. At first the scrapes were white, but then red blood crawled out and down his leg.  

“Kai,” you said, some parts chiding and some parts just wondering how he’d managed that. You surveyed his leg for a bit, and then determined that he should wash his leg off in the stream. He walked there strong, but of course you noticed the hobble beneath his acting. When you squatted down into the dry grass and cupped water to wash off his leg, you laughed. 

“What?” he had said, holding the shorts up. You covered your laugh with a hand, but it erupted past your palm. You remember the glare on his face very well.  

You still laughed. “You’re stupid,” you had told him. 

“I didn’t see it,” he said. “I tripped over it because it was sticking out.” 

That time when you brought your hands to catch some water, there was a twinkle in its surface. You didn’t notice it for a second. The creek moved fast and you could see a lot of things in its reflection. When it lingered, that’s when your brows furrowed. It seemed to twirl, dancing around like alive over the stones. 

The sound of Kai’s voice remains with you. “Hey,” he had said, strong to call your attention but also wavered with uncertainty. 

When you looked up, there was silver dust dancing around you. 

It was fluffy and whorling, fine silver stardust. It’d moved weightless in the air, as though it barely existed. In the center of it were a few moths. They seemed to be made of sterling powder just as the dust was, and they glowed against dusk’s backdrop. If your memory serves you right, there had been a sweet hymn of coos from them. They beckoned you. Summer’s heat felt lighter, and so did your chest. You wondered where they had wanted you to go. 

Almost afraid that if you spoke they might have fluttered away, you whispered soft and low to Kai. “What is that?” He was stood frozen there, pant leg still scrunched up in his fist. Stardust glowed soft in his brown eyes while he took it all in, you remember. It wasn’t a scared frozen. You weren’t scared, either—rather, it was as if that lightness had found its way into the core of your being and brushed over it with mending hands. 

He whispered back, “I don’t know.” How could he have known? It was absurd. 

Those whisps had beckoned you, flowing toward the deeper woods. The soft moths, their murmuring brushing up against your ears, seemed to wait for you to follow. You remember a pull, soft tendrils wrapping themselves around your heart and the yearning it planted there.  

But there was also this reluctance, a bone-deep answering that had told you: No. You’re not ready. 

“Kai, I wanna go,” you told him. 

You didn’t even need to tell him twice. Berry buckets forgotten; the journey home was a stranger one. When your dad asked why you returned from berry picking emptier handed than you had left the house, Kai and you only shared a look. You pair kept that evening at the creek hidden so well that it became more forgotten than shared secret.  

⚝⭒ 

Once, you had been the type of girl that loved being around family. Some of your favorite days of your life were spent in this living room, T.V. roaring over bouncing conversation. Some of those nights ended in rosy cheeks and laughs, and some ended with words thrown angry like fireworks. You never knew which you’d be getting, but you endured the fear of not knowing because it was a simple love—the basic kind built with biology into you the moment your infant skin touched your mother’s. You endured it because eventually, sleep washed away the bad taste left in your mouth and you forgave them quick, sometimes quicker than you ought to, and things would go on as if it hadn’t even happened. You endured it because you could handle its burden, if only to feel the warmth you feel when it’s a good day.  

Kai was always there—his dad was hardly home, so he found family in yours. When you were younger, you’d been embarrassed he was there for caustic, spitted words and intimate fights. Now, you’re just grateful for his shoulder.  

So, yes. Once, you had loved being around your family. But things feel tenser now, nights spent all together less frequent and when they do happen, they’re tainted by a strange air. You think that this strangeness is new, but an awful worry also makes you think that it’d always been there, that you only feel it now because you’ve grown into your adult mind. A hollow ache stakes its claim in your chest, declaring that it won’t leave until you find that youthful ignorance and joy once more. You think that it might stay there forever. 

Bare feet bounding down the stairs, you make a rare appearance downstairs. The cupboard is only half open to make way for a snack raid before your mom’s voice cuts through the air. You know quickly just by the look on her face that you should’ve stayed upstairs. 

“Hey,” she says, gathering laundry into a basket. “You’ve been applying to jobs?” 

With an anxious belly, you tell her, “Yeah. A few. They’re not really, like, ideal, but I sent applications.” You don’t remember when it got hard to look into your mother’s eyes, but you can’t bring yourself to do so now.  

“Not ideal?” she says. “It’s not like you can be picky. Mcdonalds or wherever, I don’t care, you’re going to need to get a job if you’re staying here.” 

“I know. I applied,” you reiterate around a mumble. You close the cabinets, not so interested in a snack anymore. “I just... I don’t know, ma. I don’t want to do that for a living, going between those sorts of jobs.” 

Face hard and abrasive against the truth you bare, she does that awful taunting smile that makes you feel small. Stupid. “You’re not going to college, so that’s what it’s gonna be. You can’t sit up there and draw for a living. You’ve gotta get into the real world, get some real experience.”  

There’s a burst of hurt in your chest, dazzling and gnawing. She’s getting closer to saying how she really feels about your dreams out loud every day. Your face burns and so do your eyes, knot thick in your throat. “Yeah, okay. Got it,” you say, nodding. You’re at the front door before you even know it, slipping on shoes and fighting the greatest internal battle to will back tears. She’d use those against you, no doubt about it. “I’m going to Kai’s,” you throw over your shoulder.  

Whatever she barks back at you, you’re glad you don’t hear. Bells on some old Christmas decoration hung on the door that had yet to be taken down, even into summer, jingle and wash it away for you. 

Kai’s brows shoot up when he opens the door to your face crumpling. You’d done so well at damming it up, but the wall cracks and the water crashes through once you see him. If it were anybody else, you’d feel icky and attention seeking, but you’d held Kai to your chest through gut-wrenching sobs as much as he’s done it for you. Without question, he takes you into his arms, warm hand running up and down your back. The warm soothing is so familiar. You melt right into it.  

He keeps you there for a long moment. Then, his chest rumbles as he tells you, “Come on.” The walk through the AC to his bedroom is nice. Having a house like Kai’s to come to where it can just be you is nice, too. You step around the mess of clothes and scattered belongings on his floor like you have a muscle-memory roadmap of his room. Boxsprings creak and hard mattress welcome you back home. His room is dark as always, a night-dweller you call him. The array of peeling band posters plastered over walls you two had painted blue some years ago, when it’d been his favorite color, don’t help to lighten it up. He keeps a low lamplight on.  

“She never listens to me,” you say, crying gone to occasional sniffles from your chest. You rest your cheek on your bent knee. 

“I know,” he says. “But at least she cares about you. Pays attention to you.” His voice is soft and deep and right next to you. Always right next to you, there for you even when you might not appreciate it as you should.  

His dad cares too little what he does, and yours care too much. The grass is always greener on the other side, you know it. Still, you hold a fantasy where you’re able to do teenager stuff. Where you’d allow yourself to do bad things, because you weren’t so intent on painting yourself with their will. You two hold eyes for a long moment, your twinkling ones caught in that steady brown. “I just want to get away. Be my own person.” Your words are muffled in the softness of your skin. 

“You had the chance to do it,” Kai says, hand playing with your fingers. “But you didn’t.” 

Holding your legs closer, you lick your lips. What do you say to that? Would it ever be the time to tell him that you did it because you think that your soul is pathetically intertwined with his, and that it might snuff your lifeforce out to even try pursuing life without him? Without this? How do you tell him that you’re so frozen and unwilling to pursue any sort of future because it means accepting that this chapter is over? You clutch childhood to your chest like a wild animal guarding scarce food; you refuse. You refuse to acknowledge its end.  

“Kai,” is all you say, trembled and thick. It’s not just your mother’s words that dig at you and tear to shreds the last bits of what dreaming you had left in you, but so many other reality checks too. This isn’t the first time you’ve heard those sorts of words, urging you forward. You can only dig your heel into the ground for so long before you’re swept away in time’s ruthless, endless moving.  

He understands. Lifting your face with warm fingers against your cheeks, he says, “Hey. How about we go get ice cream, or something?” 

Ice cream does sound nice. “Dairy Queen?” 

Smirk tugged over his mouth, he says, “Yes, Dairy Queen. A blizzard. C’mon, let’s go.” Sliding off the bed, he offers you an urging hand up. 

But you falter. “I don’t know if we can. She’s mad at me. I don’t think she’ll let me go.” 

“Let you go?” he says, eyes narrowed. “She doesn’t have to let you go. You’re an adult now, you go if you want to.” He offers his hand to you again. 

It’s so him, freely going wherever he ordain it. The bullheadedness is very him, as well. Always the devil on your shoulder, he was the root of any rebellious thing you’ve ever done. He could never understand your apprehension, or why getting in trouble was such an awful thing to you. “I have to ask to get money.” 

Brows pinching, he says, “You think I’m not gonna pay for you? You don’t need them to give you money, I’ll pay. I’ll take care of it.” He drags you up from the bed this time. “Live a little. Do you want to go?” 

It was never the punishments or the getting in trouble that you were scared of, though. Disappointment was a scarier word than grounded. Sneaking out and those sorts of things, it’s not like you had angel wings at your back and never considered them. It’s that you are deeply, utterly terrified of changing how they look at you. You begin to tell him, “I do, but—” 

He cuts you off, adamant. “Then do it. Let’s go. If you want to go, then go,” he says. “At some point, your life needs to become your own. It’s not sneaking out when you’re graduated and eighteen years old, it’s going wherever the hell you want. You’ve... You’re gonna end up stuck here, in this town, forever. You don’t deserve that.” 

That sounds like both the best and the worst thing you’ve ever heard. You take his hand.  

⚝⭒ 

Your frozen fingers nurse your ice cream. The cup itself is cold, but the Dairy Queen on your side of town is always thirty degrees below what it should be. It’d always been that way. Even way back when you two couldn’t drive, you’d get dropped off here to escape the melting weather and get a frozen treat with a handful of dollars. Each time, you’d start off sagging with the relief of summer’s weight off your shoulders and left the place shivering and sugar-mouthed.  

It’s really only you two in here. You crinkle your nose when he takes a spoonful. “Out of all the flavors...” 

Unbothered and no doubt expecting you to say it, he offers you a flat, “You get your flavor, I get mine.” He makes a point of taking an extra-long bite. His lips linger around the red plastic of the spoon and his brows rest high in silent challenge.  

The corners of your lips twitch up. “Hmm. Well. I just have a hard time believing that Oreo... or, like, brownie fudge, is right there, and you actually want M&M. I don’t get how M&M your favorite.” A familiar banter falls over your tongues. Your heart buzzes and your cheeks radiate. This is the first you’ve done this all summer, and it’ll be weaning off into fall soon. Any other summer, you would’ve been here on all the hottest days. You hate that Kai’s been so busy with his music; you hate that you can hear the resounding ticks of the clock counting down your time. You also hate that the stubborn depths of you still believe that if you freeze yourself here in stasis that the world will relent and stop along with you. 

You look over the sharp lines of Kai’s jawline as it feathers with his chewing, and the broadness of his shoulders where his jacket stretches around it, and the starkness of his collarbones against his chest and the bobbing of his adam’s apple when he swallows. No, time doesn’t stop. Some of him remains the same, though. In it, you see the boy that had love creeping up on you so long ago, with all its aching and all its hope. That freckle on the column of his neck, the bump in his nose leading down to the button tip that beckons your lips to steal a quick kiss.  

And, those lips. They’re as soft as ever around the discontented grimace he pulls. “M&M isn’t my favorite.” 

With a pursed mouth and patronizing brows arched over your eyes, you say, “Oh, huh. That’s funny, because if my memory serves me right, it’s the only flavor you’ve ordered for the past... six years.”  

Kai husks a laugh at that. “That’s because they haven’t had my favorite for years,” he tells you, scooping up the final bit and then pushing it off to the side. “It was a blizzard of the month that they discontinued. The blackberry cheesecake one. I made peace with it, though. It lives on in my heart.” He grins, arms crossed over his chest and his back settled into the booth seat to let you finish your cup.  

“Blackberry cheesecake,” you say, voice made taunting. Your nod is slow and taunting, too. “Well, forget M&Ms.Why would blackberry cheesecake be your favorite? Ever?” 

His face falters, a moment where something flows over his eyes as if reliving a memory in a few short seconds. Then, he shrugs. “It just is.” 

You roll your eyes. “Whatever,” you laugh. “Maybe my palate is unrefined.” Imagining the tarte fruit in purple swirls of ice cream, you’re taken back to a humid July day and the scent of churned mud.  

The strange memory unfolds itself quick. As if it were waiting for you to find wherever it’d hidden itself away. With a sharp gasp, you say, “Oh my god, Kai. Do you remember that one day? That weird stuff we saw down at the creek?” 

He nods. “Yeah. I was just thinking of that the other day, actually...” 

Less interested in finishing your cup now, you let the spoon rest. “What?” you say, the word peaking in the middle. That day hadn’t crossed your mind once since it’d happened. “How weird is that?” 

Scoffing a laugh, he says, “Weird, yeah. Just as strange as two kids high on fermented berries.” 

That draws a breathy laugh from you. “Is that what you think it was?” you ask him with knitted brows. The berries had been fresh, and you two had popped plenty into your mouth. But no doubt, you’d have spat them right back out if they were that ripe. “I mean, we saw the same thing.” 

“It happens to animals all the time. Squirrells, and stuff.” He lends you a gallic shrug. “We just freaked ourselves out. Like that one time you said you saw the shape of something in the dark and we freaked out. And it was clothes.”  

Well, hallucinating, in tandem, a glowing mist because you two by chance ate fermented berries is a very long shot. However nonchalant he acts about it, he seems to have thought long and hard about it. Enough to reason it away with some far cry explanation. Would you have even been able to get drunk off a handful of fermented berries? And, god, you’re really sure that you’d have noticed. That taste isn’t really one you just don’t notice.  

Whatever. Maybe you were just drunk idiots. That’s a lot easier to swallow, anyway. 

“Okay, but you saw that. Did it not look sinister?” you say. With your spoon back in your hand, you punctuate the sentence pointing it at him. “You freaked out with me, too.”  

An unsatisfied scowl on his lips, he steals a spoonful of your dessert. You don’t even swat him away—your phone buzzes in your pocket. 

Catching sight of who’s calling, you share a long look with Kai. It’s funny, how fast those three white letters scramble you up. When you hesitate to answer, Kai tells you, “Answer.” 

You hope she can’t tell you’re not at Kai’s by the refrigerators’ dull buzzing. It’s an effort to tussle that invasive worry back. You’re at Dairy Queen. Getting ice cream with the boy she’s known since childhood. She should clutch her hands and thank the sky that you’re here, not out in some nasty frat house like you could be. You thumb the green button. 

Her voice comes through the speaker crackled and asking you to run over to do a quick dish load. For a heartbeat you consider telling her that you will and then start rushing home. Instead, you fork out the truth through resistant lips. 

The hangup tone sits heavy on the air between you and Kai. Having listened to the whole thing on speaker, he says, “What was so hard about that? The world didn’t end, did it?” 

The plush of your lip takes a hard gnawing. No, it hadn’t. “I know she’s not going to get mad at me for just going here,” you say as you rest your elbows onto the table. “It’s that they’re supporting me right now. I still live under their roof. The more I go around and insist I can do whatever I want, they’ll start reminding me of it.” 

His face drawn, he lets his mouth twitch to one side. “Yeah,” he muses. “I never thought yours would be the type to kick you out.” 

Kai’s dad had started threating him with getting kicked out years ago, when he first started telling him that he wanted to do music. How many times had he let reluctant tears flow into your shoulder over it? Because music wasn’t a real job? Back then, you’d whispered in his ears that he’d become everything he’d dreamed of and more as your fingers carded through shaggy locks of hair.  

“I don’t know,” you say, humming it out noncommittally. “Is your dad still... y’know?” 

Nodding slowly, his eyes tell. “Yeah. Always.” 

“Because you’re taking the band seriously, now?” you ask.  

“Probably. I don’t give a shit what he thinks about it. If I’m just his goddamn problem, I’ll give him what he wants soon enough.” His eyes blaze with promise of it.  

It takes a bit out of you to not wince. Kai living anywhere but in the house across from yours is wrong. “I don’t think he necessarily wants that, Kai...” You take his hand in your icy ones, the urge to reach out to him thinly veiled under the guise of searching out warmth. He’d always run warmer than you—your personal heater. “It’s probably because he can see that you’re doing it for real. Not just saying it anymore.” 

“Yeah, well,” he spits, “I can’t fucking wait to see what he’ll say to me when I make it. That piece of shit, though, he wouldn’t even care. It’s not like he ever gave a shit about me enough for it to matter.” 

But, it matters to you, you want to tell him. You understand his need to throw it all in his face. Though. “Is that one label going to sign you? The one you were talking about?” 

His tongue darts out to wet dry lips. “They haven’t yet. I don’t know. But I don’t need that money to get out of here, I’ve been working on it.” 

“They will,” you say. “But, where would you go? Not too far?” You try and keep it light and playful, even as your heart aches. 

“Come with me,” he says. It’s painfully blunt, as if it were that simple. “Let’s go get and apartment; you and me.” 

“Kai...” you say. “You don’t have to drag me along because you feel bad.” 

The idea doesn’t sound half bad, though.  

“What?” His face tightens, as if somewhere under the surface your words had scraped somewhere tender. “You don’t have to stay here forever. Please. I want... I want you to come with me. You wouldn’t have to even tell them; just bring all your stuff and go together. We could do it together. Like we said we would.”  

“We were like, five. Everybody tries to pretend running away at five,” you deadpan. It’s a washy attempt at lightening things back up. 

Living with him, moving out together, should feel like everything you’ve ever wanted. And, maybe it is. But, he’s not asking you to live with him the way you want him to. Not in the way that your aching heart wishes he would.  

Kai doesn’t share the laugh you give him. “Yeah, okay,” he says, leaning into the table.  

Perhaps you should consider the potent disappointment he’s terribly masking with a face of indifference, though. 

⚝⭒ 

Slowly, the knots in your belly have worked themselves out. When Kai had dropped you off, they’d been so awful that you felt borderline sick. You sat the whole ride there in his old beat-up truck picking at your nails and rambling to him. He listened to you the whole time. And then when it was time to walk in, it had least felt a little easier to do so with his eyes on you, watching to make sure you made it in safely. 

You’d gotten a job. It’s not too bad, folding clothes out on display. It would be nice if they kept the lights a bit brighter, but you’ll get used it eventually, you hope. 

Most of your coworkers are around your age, but the one showing you the ropes... your heart had fluttered. 

“You’ll get it,” Yeonjun says. The smile you find on his lips once he straightens up from placing product on a display is smooth and smug. Sleek strands of black hair fall over his eyes. You fluster under his gaze.  

With arms crossed over your chest you say, “Yeah, probably.” You reach into the cardboard box for stock to practice on. 

“Where’d you work before this?” he asks, leaning back into a wall to watch you. Suddenly, you make sloppier work of your folding. “Your first retail job?” 

Some obnoxious pop song falls down from the speakers over the store. Nobody’s in here yet, thankfully; you’ve got some time to try and get a handle on everything. “No, this is my first job. I was so nervous walking in.” 

Interest catches in his eyes. It encourages that smooth smile on his lips further. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll show you the reins.” 

Your mind stalls. The suggestive, sly flicker to it—are you looking too much into it? Maybe that’s just how guys like Yeonjun act. It’s hard to pretend that you don’t see how he’s looking at you, though. It has your belly twisted up in fluttery knots. It’s not like you hadn’t had your share of his type. But, for some reason you’d rather not address, he’s got your heart thumping in your chest. 

He laughs at your fifth attempt to fold up the shirt. When he takes it from you to help, he smells of musk and vetiver. “You going to college near here?” he continues.  

“Nah, just doing this, I guess,” you answer, watching him fold it up to try and soak it up.  

“Really? Why not?” he hums, crossing his arms about his chest. “You seem like a smart girl.” 

Buffering, your blood buzzes in your veins and your cheeks burn. “Dunno. Not really sure what to do. Are you in college?” 

“Nah. I’m trying to figure things out, too.” 

The both of you pop your heads up when the bell rings to announce the arrival of a customer.  

“Yeah,” you say, eyeing him. He’s a few years older than you, no doubt, and yet his life hasn’t fallen apart because he’s not done anything grand yet.  

Time’s hand around your neck loosens. Just a little bit.  

⚝⭒ 

You sit crisscrossed on top of Kai’s bedsheets. He’d thrown the windows open because the AC died, but it’s no help. The hot air wafting about the room sits heavy on your skin. You’d dressed in as little material as possible to let it breathe, bare thighs clad in a pair of loose shorts and a thin tank top, but it’s still miserable. 

Perhaps you two should be going over to yours, but you haven’t had time alone with him for a few weeks now. You hate this busier life, where you struggle to make room for this. 

Your new job isn’t so awful, though. Especially with Yeonjun there. A bout of nerves flows up through your stomach. That reminds you. 

Sitting up a bit straighter, you consider not doing it. In fact, you really shouldn’t. But your mouth moves before you can put a stopper on it. 

“Hey, Kai,” you say. The thickness in your throat makes you believe that your heart’s jumped up into it, caught. God, what are you doing? The unsure waver in your words has you regretting. 

His eyes flicker up to yours. He hums out a, “Huh?” 

No, this is wrong. You mess with the thin cotton strap of your tank top where it’d slipped down. “Never mind,” you tell him, trying to shrug it off.  

That piques his interest. “No, what?” His brow pinches.  

You lick your lips and shake your head. “Nothing, never mind. Really.” 

His eyes search you from where he sits up against the wall. “Tell me,” he demands. 

Really, you shouldn’t have said it in the first place. It was a ridiculous idea. But now you know he’s not going to let it go. And, ridiculously, you say it. “I was just... wondering,” you say, blood roaring. "Well, Yeonjun wants me to come over to his place this weekend, and... I’ve never...” Sucking in a quick breath, you just spit it out to get it over with, “Would you be my first kiss, Kai?” 

Insects buzz outside as he looks at you, frozen in spot. You reject the urge to dart away or throw up. You’re honestly just as shaken as him. But really, who else could you trust with something like that? You don’t want Yeonjun to be disappointed if he kisses you, or to seem inexperienced to him. 

And, perhaps, the hopelessly in love part of you hopes to at least feel his lips on yours at least once. If you’re going to be alone forever in your longing, you just wish that you can have this. 

“What?” Kai says. He looks rattled.  

Of course, he’s shocked. You shift. “Forget I said that,” you tell him, unable to meet his gaze.  

String-roughened fingers wrap around your upper arm. “I didn’t say anything,” he says, voice strained and face less shock-fallen and more darkened. “But... I mean, you want me to teach you to kiss for some other guy.” He spits out the last bit as if bitter in his mouth.  

“You don’t have to do it,” you say. “I just... thought that I might ask you to do it. I don’t know, I’m sorry I said it. I’ll just wing it or something.” His room’s grown ten degrees hotter, if that was possible. Especially where you feel his eyes on your face.  

Almost imperceptibly, his hand tightens around you. He swallows hard. “You want to learn how to kiss?” he says. “Fine. I’ll teach you.” 

In a heart-stopping moment, your eyes snap to his. Brown and familiar, they hold you with an intensity that turns your limbs into jelly. The air is stifling. “What... do I do?” you ask when the silence becomes too heavy.  

A muscle feathers in his jaw, reflected in the low light of his room. It’s quick and so easy to miss, but it tells you everything you need to know about how this is making him feel. How much disbelief he’s in. “Come here,” he says, stilted around the absolute absurdity of it. He pats on his lap. 

You make a hesitant crawl across the bed toward him. It seems as though your elbows might buckle beneath your weight, but you make it despite the odds. A fog settles over your brain when you rest your hands on his shoulders and bring your legs to straddle his lap. 

But you shove it back; you want to live and breathe every last second of this. No matter how unbelievable or blistering it is.  

Breaths fan out over your face. It’s seizing your mind like undiluted liquor. “Where do I put my hands?” you ask him. It’s breathless, the air stolen right from your lungs though your mouths haven’t even touched.  

“There is fine,” he says. His words sound breathless, too. The weight of his touch on you as he runs his own up to support your back is unsure. “And then...” he says. It falls out on your mouth slowly, and then he’s taking your lips onto his. 

The walls melt away, sound does too. All that is real is the taste of his lips and how they move against you. Your lips start tentative, but you try his mouth movements yourself. It feels like a timid dance—it feels like deep, deep down, finally everything is right. That mist, thick and blinding, falls back over you. 

Something changes. Something in it, where you two meet, changes. He becomes hungry. Softly locked lips turn biting and nipping, shaky breaths exhaled slow through your nose. His hands on your back become surer, and one even ventures off to grab your chin. The other holds you to his chest, melded together despite the intense smoke and flame rolling off your bodies. You wonder if he can feel your heart beating a mess there. 

Reluctance paints you both when you pull back. You’re panting deep drinks of air. It’s hard to think; your mind’s run off and sits just out of reach. Licking your messy lips, stained with illicitness, you can only manage to brush your fingers against it to form words. “How... was that?” you say, searching his eyes. You find his pupils blown so wide that they consume the warm brown. You’re ready to jump out of your skin with that look pointed at you.  

Kai doesn’t answer, though. He slams your mouths back together as if starved by just the brief moment you’d parted for air. Nips on your bottom lip and emboldened hands—he moves like roaring water through a dam. A dam that he’d worked hard to fortify, and yet, at a crack it’s all falling down. Fingertips digging through the fabric of your shorts down to your soft hips, his chest rumbles. You feel it reflected in your core, electricity charging there and shooting up your spine and down your thighs. 

You kiss him for all the times you wish you would’ve, but didn’t. The slight rolls of your hips down onto him come easy. You love how it has him making a sound into your mouth and taking the fat beneath his fingers harder into his hands. He helps you. 

He drops his head into your neck. Your head swims for air and he has you shuddering with just the brushing of his nose against the column of your neck. The walls of his room spin around you. “Kai,” you whine, every bit of friction his jeans provide, even clothed as you are, just enough to rile you but not to give you what you need. 

“God,” he growls, thumbs hooking under your waistband. “You always fucking run around dressed in nothing,” he says, letting his fingers linger like a suggestion of undressing you. “Did you do it on purpose? Expect to make me crazy, knowing I couldn’t touch you?” 

And, in those words, it seems that he steals every last bit of breath from you. How often had you gone braless or worn something like this around him? Laid here, in his bed, like that? 

Grown tired of your fruitless grinding, he brings a hand down to support your lower back and says, “Turn around.” 

Though you explode with the prospect of what he might be intending to do or what’s next, if you’re really going to do this, you do so in a flash of eager limbs. His chest is solid against your back, you melt against the feeling of it. He’d become such a man lately, filled out, and you watched it happen. It was hard for your eyes not to catch on muscle-corded forearms while he picked at strings or to not appreciate the timbred rumble of his voice when you’d feel it come from his chest. How could it not do things to you? Now, he’s dragging your shorts down your legs and you’re in disbelief.  

“Fuck,” he breaths out. His fingers find your panties soaked through. “So, you’re the type to get dripping wet.” 

An embarrassed blush decorates your cheeks. Kai drags his index finger in circles around your clit through the fabric as if enamored with how much of a mess you’d made of it. Your hips twitch every time he rolls right over it. It’s strange how he’s got your body acting on its own volition with his touches. Even stranger that it’s your best friend doing it. “Sorry,” you tell him, wavering.  

He continues those terribly slow circles. “Sorry?” he says, chin on your shoulder. He’s got you wrapped up in him, with nowhere to go but to melt back into him and let his fingers work. Free hand on one of your inner thighs digging divots into the plushness there to hold it still, he tells you, “It’s nothing to be sorry about. It’s hot as fuck. You’re so excited for me to touch you, huh?” 

The words wreak havoc on you, feeding the flame that has your belly twisted up tight and the ignition point between your thighs pounding. To hear them coming from him, reserved Kai, has you digging your fingers into his forearm to prove that it’s real. You’d never have imagined him being so... filthy. You imagine him behind falsely nonchalant eyes, devouring you with a perverted mind all the times you’d spent innocently sitting together in this room.  

Your cheeks squish beneath his fingers as he takes your face and turns it to him. He wants to make sure you’re look at him as he asks you, “Do you want me to finger you?” 

Like a record, your brain skips. Between the blunt, lewd question and his hand on you, it’s in overload. How could ask something like that so simply? Stunned as you are, of course you want him to. You want him to do anything to you. You nod.  

Every last nerve and neuron in your system, just below the skin, cry out when his fingers slow down to nothing. “Hmm?” he says, ignoring the chasing of your hips and the opening of your thighs to invite him into paying your poor pussy the attention he’d ripped from it. He wants to hear you say it.  

About ten minutes ago, you lost your mind. It does not return to you now. “I want you to,” you say, chest beating in tandem with your cunt. 

“You want me to, right? Not some dumbass you met a week ago, huh?” he says. “Because you know that this is what it’s meant to be. Me, doing these things to you. Not some twenty-five-year-old piece of shit. He doesn’t deserve you, baby. Understand?” 

His fingers slider under your panties. Dumb brained and cognition gone muddled, you nod. All you can really think about is the moment his fingers slide over you. Fire licks up your lower belly and your insides as he brushes calloused finger tips finally right against your clit. 

Puffed breaths of a scoff raise goosebumps over your skin. “Teach you to kiss so that you can go over there and get his hands on you,” he says, middle two fingertips prodding at your entrance. “As if you were ever anybody’s but mine. You’d come crawling back to me, baby, because it was always meant to be us. He could never satisfy you.” 

His words might alarm you or have you asking questions if he hadn’t pushed his fingers into you and begun curling them with strong, pointed presses, pulling soft mewls and hums from you until he finds a spot that twists up your insides. Even through the palm you press over your mouth, your moans come out more like wavering grunts and croaks. Your thighs quiver and twitch, threatening to snap closed against your own will with each. Only your feet stay planted to the mattress. Like a cone of soft serve under the sun’s blistering attention, you melt down him. Just his frame keeps you upright. 

“Right there, huh?” he says. The smirk on his mouth filters his words into something taunting. “That’s where you like it.” It’s like he’s learning your body step by step, fulfilling all the questions he’d been forced to only guess at before this.  

“Uh-huh.” It comes out whiny and cracks in the middle, but you can’t find even an ounce of you to care right now. If this moment had been a long spiral, a fall from grace, down into a dark pit of forgotten inhibitions, you’ve just hit the bottom. Cheeks blazing cherry blossom pink and with your fingers curling into his pant leg, you don’t doubt that you are a picturesque mess. The kind of mess that’s beautiful because it’s dirty. Your teeth are not gentle on your plush bottom lip. It stings, tugged back and bitten and still a bit swollen with kisses. Perhaps you taste the tang of metal on it, but you pay it no mind. 

Kai redoubles his efforts. Now that he knows exactly how to play you, he’s fucking you on his fingers without mercy. The sounds coming from your cunt were wet, but now they’re different— nasty squelching. The only noises coupling with your pathetic keening. Forget anchoring yourself on his thigh, forget muffling your sounds. Instead, your hands fly to encircle his flexing forearm. Under your nails, angry red crescents dig into the muscle there. What had been a languid, building pleasure suddenly becomes everything. Your breaths run away from you, and you chase them frantically. Deep down in your core, the muscles spasm and rage against his fingers. “H—oh god,” you groan. Even the muscles in your thighs and tummy tighten up. 

“So whiny...” Kai mumbles, voice taut with the effort of eroding you down into pure, blinding-white pleasure. 

And then, in a swoop of mercy, your belly tightens. You hover here, on the precipice of something so consuming and voracious that your muscles and bones reject it, and yet your heart sings. Your eyes and cheeks and lungs and belly burn, the flame charring the edges of you in a beckon. You answer its call. Kai doesn’t mind the snapping of your legs shut around his arm, nor does your bucking or shaking deter him. He just holds you through it, arm like a metal bar around your waist. He’s everywhere, in this moment—the smell of him, leather and utterly familiar, his mouth dusting hot kisses over your skin, his fingers guiding you through orgasm. Where you’d gone silent in the initial crash of it, you devolve into mewls and grunts as you come down.  

He holds you even as you slump against him boneless. Afterglow simmers in your veins and has your brain all lethargic and lazy. Neither of you speak for a while, your pulse thumping a rhythm. His breaths rise and fall against you; it grounds you in this moment where you feel all spacey and gone. You become aware again of how disgustingly sweltering it is in his room, your skin sheened. 

That brainless bliss only lasts you for so long, though. When rational mind returns to you, no matter how you wish it wouldn’t, you’re hit in the chest with regret so hard it knocks the wind out of you. 

How will anything ever be the same after what you’d just done? Stricken still by the thought, you barely register him pulling his fingers out of you. After all your worrying about making sure no wedge comes between you two, look what you’ve gone and done. No; nothing ever will be the same again.  

⚝⭒ 

A couple of weeks ago, you ruined the one friendship you were supposed to have forever. It presses down heavy one you while you sit sprawled out on Yeonjun’s couch, his arm around your shoulder. His phone casts a glow over his features with all the lights out. 

It doesn’t smell like home. He, pressed against your side, doesn’t smell like home.  

Some stupid movie that he’d picked out, yet somehow you’ve ended up the only one still watching it, weaves a hum into the quiet of his apartment. Tangy hurt wells up in your throat. Even the moments when you and Kai would sit in mutual silence on your phones never felt like this. This is different.  

You haven’t seen Kai since that night. He’s been busy getting ready to move out, and you’ve been here most days. How fast all of it had changed. You wish you’d feel whiplashed, left empty, by the drifting that you’d been so terrified of. But you don’t. It’s just been you, locked on land, watching him being taken away by the ocean’s tide with no way to change its course. You tried and screamed to call him back, but now your voice has gone hoarse.  

And instead of watching him go, you choose to look elsewhere. It’s all you can do to protect yourself from the hurt. 

“Hey,” Yeonjun says, finally addressing you rather than whoever’s he’s got in his phone. “Did you bring anything to change into?”  

“I brought stuff to sleep in,” you say, eyeing him. You know that’s not why he’s asking. If it came down to it, you could just steal something from him and pull it on. He means going out clothes. Your jaw tightens. “But nothing nice. Why?” 

He stretches his arms behind his head in a flaunt of long arms and tanned muscle. Hours spent at the gym lent him those; you appreciate the look of it with a watering mouth. Kai had earned his build by hours spent outside with your dad, because his own could care less, helping him fix up cars and vehicles of all ridiculous sorts. You remember when Kai had first gotten his truck—junk on wheels, honestly—he’d spent so much of summer out there getting it running. And, well... the sun-kissed bronze of his skin and frame that came with it, you had no qualms with. 

But those memories only sit heavy in your chest as you’re sat here beside Yeonjun. You banish them elsewhere; you need to let him drift off. If you can’t have each other, and your feelings won’t permit just being friends, then you have to. You want him to do amazing things, and you fear that it’s your presence in his life that will interrupt that. As much as your feelings are real, they are selfish. You, your unsure direction and all your dead weight, should let him go. Because you love him. 

“The guys want to come over,” he tells you, pushing off from the couch. “You should probably into change into something less showy.” 

Less showy. Your mouth drops into a scoff of disbelief, looking down. A pair of shorts and a shirt, showy? You have to laugh, or else you’ll succumb to the strange embarrassment crawling at the back of your skull. What’s he trying to say? Is that what he thinks of you? “What’s that supposed to mean?” you say, face tilted up to him in a twist of distaste. “I’m wearing something comfy.” 

He shrugs, hands shoved into the pockets of his black sweats. “Don’t want to give them the wrong idea about you, that’s all, baby. They’re guys; I just want to protect you.” 

“No,” you say, the word falling out in a barked laugh. “Why would you even be bringing over dudes that you think will look at me like that? Why are you even friends with people that you think are gonna make moves on your girlfriend?” He holds a hand out to you, but your hands stay right where they are: crossed solidly over your chest. 

Throwing that hand up in audacious exasperation, he gives you a look that makes you feel small and petulant—like you’re throwing an overblown fit. And, maybe you are. You should probably just do it; him seeing you as some overbearing or high maintenance girl has that embarrassment flaring like wildfire that’s found dry brush. “C’mon, baby,” he says, a lazy smile on his mouth that gets under your skin. “Let’s just have an easy night. Don’t make it a big deal.” 

Let’s just have an easy night. As if you’re the one ruining the night. Something snarky tries to seize your tongue, but you hold it down. “I thought it would be just us. We wanted to watch the movie together, Yeonjun. Can’t you wait to hang out with your friends? Let’s enjoy our time together; you’ve got your shift tomorrow.” 

“My fucking god,” he groans, running a hand through his hair furiously. “You’re needy, you know that? The neediest I’ve ever had to put up with. I don’t put up with needy, baby. Can’t you just chill out a little? My last didn’t mind when I’d have friends over.” 

Your eyes burn. Your cheeks burn. He’d been with plenty of other girls before you; that, you’re well aware of. It’s been a corrosive source of self-doubt for you. You don’t want that title: the neediest he’s ever had. Don’t want him to think of you as some prude that won’t let him have fun. Just... hearing him bring up the other girls he’d been with before you stings and leaves welts no different from a slap in the face. Feelings of inadequacy shackle you and have you saying, “Fine. I’m gonna borrow some of your clothes.” 

Heavy resentment blooms on your skin where he bends down and presses kisses to your cheek, and then mouth, and then down your neck. “Thank you, baby.” 

And, where those ugly, wilted flowers of it bloom, you hear echoes of something. Something that tells you that Kai wouldn’t treat you like this. But you’ve made your bed, decided to do it yourself, and now you’ve got to lay on it. 

⚝⭒ 

The frat parties are the worst kind of social outing that Yeonjun insists upon. The smaller kinds, more intimate gathering with just his closer friends, you tolerate much easier. You’re not fond of the circles he chooses. Breathing in thick, smoked-out air surrounded by alcohol-coated breaths is not your type of fun night. Somehow, you end up doing that more than date nights. But that’s better than being here. The base rumbles up through your feet and makes your stomach sick, and it reeks of grinding bodies and body odor, and condensation coats your fingers from the red solo cup as full as when you’d first gotten it. 

But, still, you come along. Not every time, but when you don’t, you lay in his bed sickening yourself with images of what he might be doing here. How pathetic is it to attend parties with your boyfriend because you fear that otherwise, he might stick his tongue down the throats of other girls? 

You’re looking for him right now, awkward and left alone. He’d promised to stick around; you had begged him to. That was pathetic, too. You know that you put up with too much. If he loved you, or honestly even liked you, you two would be in the thick of the throngs dancing or off somewhere talking with others. Together. The frantic skimming and weeding of your eyes through the blur of faces is not right. That’s not how he should make you feel. It’s not how Kai would make you feel. 

Well, Kai would never have you here in the first place. 

Venturing out from your little corner, you sift between the bodies of people have a hell of a lot better time than you. Drunken, some you bounce off of like bumper carts. You press your palm over the round face of your cup to spare the floor from spillage threatening to pour over the lip. It’s not like a splash from yours would matter much, though. The linoleum has already been made a fetor mess of dirt off shoes and the sticky sugar of liquor. Your shoes peel from it as you walk. God, what would your parents think of you being here? 

You peek around corners and eye big groups. He’s not in the kitchen when you look there, either. Your stomach feels sick in a knowing way—a gut feeling that doesn’t justify anger or tears just yet, but you know. Right in the center of your chest, you know. 

It’s in some room that you find him. Sat on the floor along with a few faces you don’t know, he pulls from his bottle. And on his shoulder, he lets a girl with shining curls and pink cheeks rest her head. At your busting in on the intimate gathering, Yeonjun’s eyes slide to you. Recognition flashes over them and wars with bleary drunkenness. 

“Hey, baby,” he says. Their gazes all fall on you, but you can hardly see them through blurry eyes. 

The girl lifts her head from his shoulder. She’d caught the memo. 

“I think I’m gonna go.” You make it sound resigned, try to not let them see your shame, but your voice betrays you and crackles. Maybe it’s better to pretend it doesn’t feel like you’ve just been kicked in the stomach and left to reel against the force, but you can’t. You’re nowhere near shocked, nowhere near blindsided, but still you hurt. 

He follows you down the hall. “What’s your problem?” he says, the few, plain words mending and waving into a slurring. 

You’ve got one goal: get to the front door, away from the shitty music and him. His words, sharpened, fall off your skin despite his efforts. What good would fighting do you, anyway? It was always going to end up this way. This is just who he is, and he doesn’t give two shits enough about you to want to change that. 

“Baby, seriously? That made you this mad? I didn’t even fucking do anything. Stop being insecure,” he says. At the gritting of your teeth, he sees an opportunity and pounces on it. “You don’t need to be jealous. I don’t do jealous shit. We can dance, or something. Shit, I don’t know what you want! Just stop throwing a fit.” 

Didn’t do anything? You have to laugh. Maybe you didn’t walk in on him fucking someone else, but that’s not what this is about. Not even a little bit. You’ve checked out, and the fact that he thinks he can make you believe that it’s your fault this time only drives the killing stake in harder. 

Maybe you’re bitter. It claws at your insides—turns your face hot and screams in your face that you’ve been used. But beside it sits a sadness. Not the slow kind, but the quick sadness of hurt. Why hadn’t you been good enough for him to love you? To like you? You’d left behind Kai and rested your new life on Yeonjun’s shoulders. You’d wanted so badly for his approval, or for him to want you. You did your best to try and make this work out because you needed it to. You needed so desperately proof that you could fall in love with somebody else. But your best was not what Yeonjun was interested in.  

Pins and needles prick your skin as you step outside, like jumping into an ice bath. It shocks you out of dizziness. Words surge up and out in a flash flood like hard reality. You spin on him. “Jealous?” you say, choking out a scathing laugh. “The last thing I’d ever let myself suffer over you is jealousy. Get over yourself. I’m going, stay here if you want. I don’t care.” 

“How are you gonna do that, huh?” he says. The flickering yellow of the porchlight paints his features. The shadow of something fluttering around it cuts dark spots in the light, and then a small little moth comes down and jumps around in his face. He waves it off. “Gonna have bitch boy come pick you up? You can’t leech off him forever; he’s gonna get sick of picking up another man’s girlfriend.” It seems like you walking in on that had sobered him up, but his breath still curls out onto your face with the reek of alcohol. “It’s not a big deal. You’re making this a bigger deal than it has to be. Do you not trust me?”  

“You are such a piece of shit,” you grit out. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Ever. I don’t know how I let this go on for so long.” You don’t like him having Kai in his mouth, don’t like him trying to act like you’re conflating things, and especially don’t like that face he’s making. As if you’re acting crazy and overblown. “No, I don’t trust you. You didn’t fuck her, but come on, Yeonjun. Seriously? You think I’m stupid, and I’m sick of it. You thought this would be easy because I didn’t have the experience you have, but I’m sorry. I don’t like being walked over.” 

“If you’re gonna be so goddamn jealous, then maybe we aren’t gonna work,” he says. 

That moth, floating light in the air, is right back in his face. Yeonjun takes two hands and smashes it between a clap of his hands. He shakes its flattened, broken body off his hand. Looking down at it laying there on top of dirt-caked concrete, you get this... feeling. A tickling around your person.  

“See if I care,” you snap, throat aching against the onslaught of emotion and held back tears.  

⚝⭒ 

Rivulets of raindrops dilute the tears on your cheeks. Your hair plasters to your face and your clothes to your body.  

For a week, you’d went about it all as if it hadn’t happened. And then you came here.  

It’d not been this rainy when you first got down to the creek—just a gentle trickle, really. You hadn’t been crying then, either. But, watching the water work at babbling over stone, you let yourself feel it. Here, where you’d had so many good memories. You’ve gone and tainted it, now. But for whatever reason, you’d just wanted to be here. Arms curled around yourself and fingers digging into drenched sleeves, you don’t wipe away the tears or cover the sounds of your crying. You let the stream hear it; it’ll sweep it right up and down the way. Somewhere far off, where you don’t have to feel it anymore. 

You realize that, usually, you’d be over at Kai’s right now. The fact that his room was not the first place you thought you could go to anymore is a punch to the gut. You drop your face into your hands and cry harder. Really, you’ve got to stop doing that to yourself. Thinking of sad things—putting your hurt under the microscope to see it closer. It’d be easier to just fold it up and tell yourself that it’ll pass, and that relationships end all the time. 

It’s not him that you cry over. Well, maybe some of it is. Rather, it’s that you have absolutely no idea where you’re going. Where you are. Finally, you’d built yourself a raft to get off the shore and go out to sea, because that’s what you’re supposed to do, and it’s breaking apart right beneath you. And, stranded and alone in the water, you’ve got no way to get back to shore to build yourself another raft. You’re stranded, and the scariest bit is that you’re doing it all alone. You weren’t supposed to do this alone. You two made promises back then. 

You suppose that a promise is one of those things you were supposed to leave faith in back on shore. 

The raindrops are heavy over you. The fall of it roars against the ground, a torrent downpour. It’s not coupled with whipping wind or flashes of lightning—just straight, still falling. It’s a somber feeling no different from the gnawing in your chest. 

Like chimes, there’s a distant, gentle sound. Maybe water falling over creek rock, but it’s more like suggestion. A sweet sound that you shouldn’t even be able to hear over the rest of it, it’s as if it’s right in your ear. A whisper.  

You fix your blurry eyes with a wet sleeve. Rain falls right back into its place, but you see it: a silvery, whimsy haze. And the moths. They jump and call you, this time. Their glow bounces off the rainy mist against the grey of night’s arrival. Then, all you can hear is the whispering. Where you stand frozen, your feet beg to move. To follow them. 

So you do. 

Their entourage of moondust trails them where they go, wrapping you up and weaving between raindrop and space. You don’t worry where they’ll take you, or even try to wrap your head around this happening again. You just follow, mind glossed over and entranced with how beautiful it is. When you’d seen them before, it’d made you uneasy. Mostly because it looked so unearthly and unbelievable. But this time you just follow. 

A far-off voice, one oh-so-familiar, peaks through the haze. It’s not enough to stop you, but then you hear it again, louder and closer. 

You blink a few times. Once to break away the fog, and then twice to focus your eyes on Kai stood in front of you. His hair lays in wet spikes over his eyes and beads of rain trace the planes of his face. He’s as soaked as you. 

“Kai?” you say. Looking around you, you’ve ended up somewhere in the field between your houses and the creek. But you’ve got no recollection of walking here. Whatever that mist is, sentient or not, had swept you here.  

His voice is strained, but you appreciate hearing it. “Break up with him,” he tells you. 

In his eyes, as you search them, there’s stardust glowing like reflection. Your face twists up. “What?” you say, breath a puff of smoke ahead of you. Summer had come and gotten away from you so fast, and now it’s gone all cold again. 

“Break up with him,” he echos, face solemn. He looks ruffled. 

“Why?” you ask, “And why are you out here?” 

“Because I’m moving out today, and I think I deserve to at least see you before I go.” His eyes look over you. “And... your dad said you went down to the creek.” 

He’s moving out today, and you had no idea. And really, it’s your fault. You’d driven that wedge between the two of you. “I did break up with him.” 

Downpour fills his quiet for a few moments, his face swirling with emotion like the clouds above you. He nods. “Good.” 

There are a few more long minutes between you; just you two searching each other's faces, antsy to say so much that it bunches up in your chests and stalls. It’s what a summer of longing does to you. Even with Yeonjun, even trying to slowly chip away the stitching that had connected the two of you at the hip, you were helpless to stop the gnawing of the love you bear for him. Even just seeing him now, you feel those threads mending back up. God, why does it have to be so hard? 

He just looks at you. For a few beats, he just looks at you. There are so many questions in his eyes. They flit across and turn over, but all he settles on is, “Why?” 

There’s so much you want to tell him. Words pile up to the top, some threatening to spill over. But you know that if you tell him some of it, just to make up for all the time you’d missed out on together, it’ll all come crashing out. And you don’t think you want him to know just how much you accepted, the way you let yourself get treated. So, you shake your head and say, “It doesn’t matter.” 

Kai looks like he wants to push that issue, but whatever look he finds on your face deters him. “Come with me,” he pleads. “I want you to come with me.” 

Your throat tightens. Curling your arms around yourself harder, the rain only coming down on you harder, you say, “Kai, I want to. I want to. I just... I don’t want to freeload off you, because you’re doing great things, and I’m just...” Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, but they’re already as soaked as the rest of you. “I’m just going nowhere. And I don’t want to be a burden, or ever be the reason that you can’t do what you dream of. If staying here means that you become everything that you’re destined to do, then I’m happy with that, Kai. I am.” 

He shakes his head, stumbling toward you. “No, no you don’t get it,” he says, frantically taking your shoulders into big hands. Under his touch, every taut muscle goes slack. You melt. “You don’t get it. You are the music. Every single song is about you. Every single fucking song is about you. I want you to come with me, please. I love you, I have always loved you, and I will always love you, and I thought you’d loved me too, and I don’t want to do this alone. I can’t do it alone.” 

He loves you. Kai loves you. The enormity of it rumbles the ground where you stand on legs you fear might just give in. You flex your fingers to combat the tears pricking your eyes. It doesn’t work; they brim and well up, spilling down over your cheeks. “What?” you say, voice softly breaking. “Kai, I didn’t...” 

“And just when I thought I finally had you, you left me,” he says, throwing a hand up beside him in a big gesture. “You left me! I woke up thinking you’d be there, and that maybe you loved me too, and you had left me. And then you threw me away for some piece of shit, and you stopped coming around.” His chest heaves for breaths. 

Your face contorts. That night, the one where you two had slipped up, you’d fallen asleep curled up against his chest on undiluted contentment. When you woke up, you had panicked. You thought he’d wake up and pretend it hadn’t happened, or he’d be uncomfortable, or even be disgusted and regretting. You couldn’t handle that, so you slipped out before he woke up. It’d been an attempt to protect your tender heart, but looking at the twitching of his lip now, you begin to think it’s the most selfish thing you’ve ever done. He thinks you used him and left him. Your stomach twists. Voice thick, you say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left you, Kai. I thought you didn’t... I thought you didn’t see me that way. I was scared. I’m sorry I hurt you.” 

Brows knitted together, he says, “Thought I didn’t love you?” His hand cups your cheek, warm against the soft frozen skin he finds there. “I’ve... I’ve dreamed of you almost every night of my life. In my sleep, I see you, and you’re happy and glowing, and that damn... mist is all around you. I couldn’t get away from you even in my sleep.” 

Darting between his eyes, soft and reflecting your face back to you, it’s hard to breathe. Kai’s dreamt of you; he’s as sickly in love with you as you are him. Thunder claps, and the ground shakes, and the heavens open up above you, the trumpets belt, and you two are in love. Somewhere deep in your center, you feel it—your soul nodding yes. 

The mist. You know exactly what he’s talking about. “I saw it. That stuff, those moths. The stuff we saw back then.” 

“I did too,” he says, wet spikes of hair bouncing with a nod. “Not that long ago. It was the first time I saw it out of a dream since that day.” 

Back then, you two had only budding, innocent love for each other. Things hadn’t become mangled and lost to confused hearts or expectations. When they’d appeared to you, you hadn’t needed it. This time, you’d followed it. And it had led you here—somehow had led you right to the very spot you needed to so that every last piece might fall into place. For this moment to happen. You know why it did. 

“I’ll go with you, Kai. I’ll go wherever you go; I love you. I’ve loved you since forever,” you say, each and every word massive and lovely on your tongue. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier.” 

So unlike the last times your mouth had met, he brings his mouth to yours with a dazzling clarity. No longer is it confused kisses; he locks his lips against yours with the urgency of so many years being unable to. Kai’s hands cradle your wet cheeks, hold you so tenderly into his kiss. His touch grounds you, makes the moment real. You melt into him—your fingers curled into his shirt as if holding him there so that he won’t disappear like something of an incorporeal dream. He sighs through his nose, kissing you harder. Even if it all were fake and this was nothing more than a feverish figment of your imagination, you think you could die happy just knowing this once. 

But it is utterly real, and utterly yours. You kiss him harder, too. 

When your lungs start to burn and plead for breath, you two pull away from each other. Your eyes flutter open to capture his. Warm and brown and the same ones you’ve stared into so many times before, but not like this, you sink into them. He runs his thumb over your cheek as he sinks into yours. His tongue darts out to lick lips painted with you. In the inches between you, space no longer feels heavy or charged with grievances. Every last unsaid thing had been answered. 

“I have my stuff up in the truck,” he says, breaths soft. Brown eyes dart around your face. “I’ll help you add your stuff to it.” 

You shudder out a breath. Add your stuff to it. A nervous energy settles down over you, but it doesn’t seem so bad if you’re doing it with him. Together.  

“Okay,” you whisper, a balmy secret just like the ones you used to share in small, giggly voices so many years ago. “Okay.” 

⚝⭒ 

Shivers seize you like jittering bones, all wrapped up in a blanket. The velour cushion seats beneath you have soaked up water and become damp, but Kai’s got the heater blasting. You wind around back roads, headlights illuminating the way ahead of you. Stray droplets whip in them, but nothing much. Isn’t it funny how the rain had just stopped like that? That’s just how the weather is, out here. You wonder how the weather might act wherever you’re headed. 

Your teeth chatter as if your jaw had its own will. The two of you had the windows down thinking that the wind might dry you off, but all it’s done is lap at your bitten cheeks. You reach down for the handle to crank it up. You’ve got a long drive ahead of you—either you’ll eventually dry off, or you can pull off at a rest area to change in a bathroom. The wet clothes are really not helping. 

With an arm up on the steering wheel, Kai turns his attention on you. You know that smile. “Cold?” he asks, eyes darting between your face and the road. With the hand he’s not got working the steering wheel, he runs fingers over your thigh. Soft, gentle massages, yes. The number it does on your core is absurd. Each mindless digging into your thighs and brush of his thumb, sparks sputter there. You’ve sat here, right in his passenger seat, so many times before. Day trips up to the lake, the one he’d joined your family camping at for so many summers, all the times he’d driven you to school in this truck, and even just a quick run down to a convenience store for a late-night snack. You’d deemed it your seat. But never once had you sat in it like this. Your heart does a flip. All those times you’d wish he’d reach over and do just this—a small gesture that would’ve been so big then. And it’s your reality, now.  

“Freezing,” you say. A brush of his fingers nearer the apex of your thighs sends you pressing them together and shifting in your seat. “But not everybody runs as hot as you, though, so.” 

His eyes catch the movement in just the split second he looked over to you. “Huh,” he says. He turns to look at you, his gaze flickering with something anew. Something that you’d only ever seen once before. “Is that it?” 

It’s hard to swallow. His fingers brush higher, and higher, feather-dustings of calloused fingertips that sends tingles shooting up your spine at the slightest suggestion of where he’s headed. “Yes,” you say, feigning indignance to cover the shiver that threatens to overtake you. When his fingertips dance at the waistband of your bottoms, it does so anyway. “Kai,” you say, blood hot in your veins. “You’re...driving.” 

His eyebrows pinch into a taunting furrow. “I am,” he says, nodding. “Don’t worry about it, baby. I’ve got us.” 

And he does; fingers slipping under the band of both your bottoms and your panties, he doesn’t even tear his eyes off the road. He’d driven these roads so much, you think he might be able to do it asleep. Even drawing a mewl from you with a brush over your clit, he doesn’t look away more than a quick glimpse at your pinkened cheeks. 

Two fingers dragging up your folds, right over the source of the mess. “You get excited so easily, huh?” he hums. “You like it when I play with you.” 

When he presses those fingers at your entrance, you can’t help but be taken back to that night. It echoes and reverberates through you. Long fingers, strong and punctual brushes against the sweet spot—he was criminally good with his fingers. Playing guitar did more for him than just music. He seemed to know exactly how to utilize those roughened fingers and trained flicks. Your muscles flicker as he abandons your hole for more brushes at your bud.  

Those teasing, sly touches turn to something more serious. His fingers roll over your clit, slow but enough to have you sighing and rolling your hips against the seat belt. But last time had gone just like this, him touching you and receiving nothing. He should feel good, too. “Shouldn’t you pull over?” you sigh, muscles taut. Your breaths come out shuddering and half-controlled, interrupted by the tightness that each delicious swirl provokes. The door takes the brunt of your grip, white-knuckling the interior. 

He laughs, a husky sound that is tinder to fire. He knows what you mean. “Maybe,” he says. “But I think I’m enjoying this plenty. I think I want to see you cum on my fingers again.” 

Fingers pinching and flicking faster, you grow breathy and whiny, hips rolling against the seatbelt and back into the seat. Your muscles, all the way down your thighs and deep in your belly, jump and twitch each time his fingers run over your clit in just the right spot—that tender spot that’s so good that it teeters on overwhelming. The kind that makes you hiss and then want more. “Shit, Kai,” you whine. “Right—there, keep going."  

He doesn’t answer with any teasing words. No, he just doubles down right at that angle and pressure, leaned back into his seat and driving as if he wasn’t fingers-deep in your panties right now. His sculpted profile at total ease—it does something for you. A delicious tightness curls its fingers over your center, promising a sugary ecstasy that you can’t help but chase. Bucking into his hands as best you can, you go quiet. Right there—right there, you feel it. The cusp. Your fingers brush over it, clenching around nothing and squeezing your thighs tight around him. Every last drop of blood in your body reaches for it, singing and dancing through your veins and making you dizzy. 

And then he stops. Your mouth drops open, whiplashed and helpless to its slipping away from you. You whittle your gaze into something sharp and turn to him. “What—why?” you complain. The tide slips further and further and further back, but you still taste sea salt on your tongue. Frustration sets in its place as you feel it go. Seriously, you’d been right there. “You’re so mean.” 

He slows and then with the clicking of the turn signal, he’s off the road and pulling the truck into park on a little secluded side road. Where the headlines pierce the pitch black, nothing but gravel and field surrounds you. He doesn’t kill the engine, instead pulling his hand free from you. 

Your heart, still stuttering with your lost orgasm, kicks back to life as he smears your slick over your mouth, dragging it over your lips and then taking his thumb to run it right over the plush of your mouth. “Am I?” he says, fingers taking your chin to meet your eyes with his. Endless hunger, pupils so blown that his eyes look black, pins you. “I don’t think you’ve seen mean yet, baby.” 

Darting your tongue out to clean your lips, you look at him through your eyelashes. “Show it to me, then.” 

Something dark passes over his face. It has your skeleton jumping out of your body. Then, he says, “Is that what you want? You want mean?” 

Brain gone to mush that can only really think about him touching you, a slow nod is all you can manage. 

The engine’s hum prevails for some long, thick seconds. And then, he tilts his head in a gesture. “Get in the back.” 

Holy shit. You want to sit there frozen in an overwhelming sort of excitement, but his seatbelt clicks undone and you’re set into motion. In a flurry of giggles and clumsy limbs, you climb up over the center console and into the backseat. He slips out of the front seat, not bothering to even kill the engine. 

The door beside you opens in a swirl of cold wind. In nothing more than a blink, a strong hand has both your wrists pinned to the cushions and your back flush against it. Nose-to-nose, his breath hot over your face. “I’ve got plenty of ideas as to how I can warm you up.” 

You appreciate each other’s faces for a beat more, you looking up at him big-eyed and waiting. Kai breaks the moment to attack your neck in a procession of bites and kisses. Your mouth falls into a silent sound. 

“You know,” he says, free hand working your pants off. His eyes are trained on you, though. “I thought about doing this to you all summer. Touching you again.” He moves on to your top, pushing the fabric up until your chest is freed, clad in soft cotton. He eats the sight up. You want to reach down and cup the back of his head or feel his hair between your fingers as he presses his mouth against the soft beginning of your cleavage, but he’s got your wrists firmly planted. So much so, that you wonder exactly how he’s got you so secure with just one hand. Kai is strong, but maybe you hadn’t seen just how strong. Your skin aches under the purple bites he decorates you in. The sight of him—face in your chest and marking you up so lazily—has your teeth abusing your bottom lip. Whatever sounds you might make otherwise would be embarrassing. Kai lifts his eyes to you. “And I think you thought of me, too. Didn’t you?” 

“Oh, god, yes,” you say, writhing beneath him. He’s going so slow. You want him all over you. “So much.” 

He likes that. He takes your pebbled nipple into his mouth through the fabric. Soft grazes of teeth and sucks, you’re burning all over. When he pulls back, he’s left you dark wet patches when the bra had only just dried against your body heat. “Good,” he rasps, taking his big hands demanding and hungry over your torso. They swallow your frame up, soothing skin but lighting it aflame all the same. “Good girl.” 

You never thought just words could unravel you, but those did the job. Not a gasp, nor a sucking in of breath—no, you go silent and brainless, fumbling for rational thought. 

The dropping of your jaw has Kai delighted. “You’re so pretty,” he says. In a swift and powerful hoist, he’s tugging you down the cushions toward him with greedy fingers. He’s got your thighs pressed up to your chest. You’re bent right in half. 

Out of breath, you huff out, “You too.” 

A quick laugh falls from his mouth, lips pulled into a smug tilt. He nips at your calf up by his face. “So sweet, it almost makes me feel bad for what I’m about to do to you.” Reaching down for your panties, he pulls back on the suffocating press for only enough time to drag them up your legs. Those get discarded somewhere on the floor. Who cares about that right now, though? All you can register is the metallic clinking of his belt being undone. It’s got your nervous system twisting up. 

And, those words. Electricity shoots bolts of pure, sizzling revery into your core. What I’m about to do to you. You imagine a great deal of things that he might mean, but still, you think that none could hold a candle against the promise his voice held in saying it. 

Kai presses his body to your thighs and hooks your calves over his shoulders, and it all becomes real. The press of his heavy cock to your folds, the digging of his fingers into your outer thighs, his pretty eyes sparkling with something feral. As real as it gets—more real than anything you’ve ever felt in the entirety of your life. Your hands find perch flattened to his broad chest. 

The position leaving you two no option but to look right into each other, he holds your gaze and begins slow drags of his hot length up and down your slit. Tantalizing, awful, awful drags. When his tip nudges your eager clit, you jolt. And then he does it again. And again. 

“Kai,” you mewl. A press against your hole has you hopeful, and he lingers there for a moment, but doesn’t give it to you. Can’t he just fuck you? You’ve never been more pitifully in need of something in your life. 

“Shh.” His ruts get more daring, smearing your slick up onto your belly. “Take it.” 

You wiggle your toes in the air and make passes at arching yourself into him in search of better friction. He’s got you pressed so suffocatingly into the seat that it does absolutely nothing for you. In fact, he holds your harder and changes tack so that your thighs press together. At the very apex of them, his weeping cock slips through the seam. 

Pressing his cheek into your calf, he watches you. Every gasp and shaky inhale, he watches. It spurs his rutting on, sticky sounds and pants eating up the air. Your nails claw at his hands as, finally, a knot tightens in your core. 

“Yes, please,” you breathe. He fucks your thighs harder. Faster. Every nudge at your clit and hole becomes euphoric. “Kai, baby—I’m gonna—” 

Just as furiously easy as last time, he rips it all away from you. The rushing away of the buzzing and promise of shaking thighs—he takes it from you again. It brings prickling tears to your eyes. “Kai?” you hiss. “Again?” 

His eyes aren’t playful. He pulls your calves back over his shoulders, handling your hips into a better position to press his cock right at your entrance as if you weigh nothing. Face utterly straight, he says, “I don’t think you deserve it, do you? Not after what you did with Yeonjun.” 

A swallow goes down your throat hard. He presses himself just a bit harder into you. Not in yet, but right there. 

When he does begin sliding in, the stretch of it... You cling to him and squirm between him and the warm cushions behind you. Each inch is a heady feeling, all the way up to the hilt of him. He shudders a controlled breath. “You’re so fucking tight, though,” he grits out. “Did he not fuck you right?” 

Slaps of skin bounce off the car interior and between your bodies. He starts off at a brutal pace; you know it’s meant to make your brain go foggy. Squeezing your eyes closed, you manage, “I... didn’t fuck him.” It comes out strangled, voice bouncing as he fucks you into the car seat. 

Thumb tugging your bottom lip down and then dipping into your mouth, he watches the show of your ecstasy down to every last detail. “Yeah?” he says, voice shaking and almost desperate. “Always thinking of me, huh? Such a good little princess. You know exactly where your heart belongs.”  

You want to answer him, even just with a whine or moan. You try to. But with his thumb pressing down on your tongue, enough to pin it to the floor of your mouth, it’s not gonna happen. He tastes salty in your mouth. 

His truck consists of his grunts and whines, and your taut groans for some moments that seem to stretch forever. The planes of his groin grind against your clit when he delivers occasional pointed rolls, but mostly it’s just an animalistic, feverish dancing of your two sweaty bodies, holds growing more frantic the closer you get.  

Thumb wet with saliva; he frees your mouth. The hand trails slowly down your face and your chin, brushing feather touches, until he finds your neck. 

Your eyes fly open, wide. He pressed his fingers into your neck—no real pressure yet, he looks at you through damp strands of dangling hair and says, “Want my fingers around your neck?” His thumb brushes over the buzzing pulse point there. 

“Yes,” you grit out, body bouncing and back raw with friction against the coarse cushion’s surface. Your breath stutters, your mind stutters. Even your blinks stutter, eyelids too lazy to keep up. “Please.” 

The pressure of his fingers there—it frightens you and has you tightening around him at the same time. But you would trust nobody more with your life than Kai. 

He presses his cheek to your calf to indulge in the sight of you like this: underneath him, folded in two, nowhere to go but to take his pistoning hips, cheeks blazing, and his fingers pressed into your windpipe. If the way he becomes sloppier and more desperate in his tempo has anything to say for it, it does something for him. 

“Gonna be my pretty little girlfriend, huh?” he says. His voice is tight—so is your belly. You’re both so close. Hopefully, this time he’ll let you cum. “Take you to every show; show you off to everybody. Fuck.” 

Brain like static and swimming with a pinched flow of oxygen, you slur your words. “You’re—hah—gonna have other girls all over you.” 

The taunting, split-second raise of his brows flips your belly. You tighten him again. If he keeps hitting that spot, tip ramming into the soft spot deep inside you that he’d taken such delicate care of finding last time, you’re going to burst into sparkling flame and firework. He growls, “Well, I’ll just have to knock you up so that they know I’m yours, huh?” 

Holy shit. You like the sound of that. Your nails dig into his wrist around your neck, but you cry out a pitchy, “Yes!” 

“Oh, you like that?” Kai releases your throat to take both your hips. You gulp for air, finding nothing but the thick air of sex and humid breaths, at the opportunity. He’s ramming into you like he’s found a purpose. “Isn’t this the perfect position to do it? Get you pregnant?” 

With every last bit of brain power you’ve got, teetering on the edge excruciatingly close to salvation, you groan a long, hoarse sound. “Fuck, yes! Please, Kai, inside—” A hot trail of tears roll down your temples. 

It’s all he’s got to hear to still inside you. His growl rumbles deep in his chest, holding you in place and filling you with his hot cum deep in your cunt. That feeling, coupled with his short grinds against your clit as he fucks his seed deeper, takes your soul by sinful claws and crumbles it down into nothing. You burst into a shaking, whimpering peak, sucking your lips into your mouth to bare through the sheer twisting of your insides and the flame that consumes up your thighs and cunt. 

He falls on you heavy, face in your neck. Warm kisses against your clammy skin meld with your slow floating down, the two of you a beautiful, nasty picture of fucked out. He stays right inside you—the absolute stillness of him, you think he has no plans of pulling out any time soon. His long fingers card through your sweaty locks of hair. 

Finally, he presses himself off you. You get a glimpse of the window behind him—fogged up and filthy with your affairs. Anybody to see the truck from the outside would know exactly what went on inside, but right now, you don’t care. Not one bit. Your panted breaths drag in nothing but musk and thick, hot air. The drumbeat in your chest tells you that, despite how you feel ripped straight from your body, you are very much still alive. More alive than ever. 

“Warm?” he says, pushing sticky hair off his forehead. He’s a mess, too. His hair is ruffled with your touch, his clothes rumpled the same, beads of sweat rolling down the planes of his cheeks and neck, and his eyes a lazy smolder. As much as he looks like sex personified, a soft smile twitches at his lips. 

You snort. You can’t help but feel giddy, here with him. You’re with him. Nothing has ever felt more right. Unplugged when he pulls out of you, your mess trickles down onto the seat below you. “Yeah,” you say. “Very.” 

Warm is not enough to begin to describe how you feel. In your ears, you hear whisperings. Soft and gentle. Perhaps it was divine intervention, or the fates lending you their word, or maybe just rational thought. It says: 

Home. You are home. 

✎୭ ashlynn's note how do we feel about this pair? i really didn't mean for this to get so long, but i ended up RLLY liking their chemistry. i had to do their story justice. also, i finished this with kai as a guitarist and then his drummer performance came out... hmm.

﹙🏷️ ﹚@lvrs-street2mmorrow , @soohashits , @f4iryfever , @arcturus444 , @linqed , @serenityism00 , @immelissaaa , @luv4cheol , @lickingan0rchid , @20-cms , @hhoneylix , @beestvng , @hyucktapes , @bewitchless , @prince-jjae , @blankliving , @yaoizee , @stormy1408 , @missychief1404 , if your tag isn't working, check the mentions part of your settings!

[jjunieworld]

BROOKLYN, BABY! ˒˒ 휴닝카이

your boyfriend’s in a band—the biggest rock band in the world, in fact, as the lead singer and lead guitarist. except, he isn’t your boyfriend and you’re just a fan who somehow had the stars align for you.

pairing ‎⸝⸝⸝ huening kai x fem!reader 𓄵 iηcℓudᥱs 𓈓 rockstar!txt

genre﹙📓﹚⸝⸝⸝ strangers to one-night stand, smut, rockstar!kai, groupie!reader, rockstar au, band au, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sleeping around, non-idol au, kai and the boys are honestly a menace lol, reader is kinda obsessive

warnings ‎⸝⸝⸝ unprotected sex + pull out method (stay safe!!), mean dom!kai, facials, rough sex, dacryphilia, ruined makeup, creampie, some cum swallowing, blowjob / deepthroating, face fucking, degradation, petnames (baby, good girl), name calling (bitch, slut, whore), manhandling, dirty talk, hints of a size kink

kipo’s note ‎⸝⸝⸝ hehe this is actually kinda a prequel to a bigger rockstar!kai idea that i have!! not sure when i’ll get to it but stay tuned for when it’s posted ^^ i recommend listening to true romance by pinkpantheress!! also this was requested but tumblr deleted the ask i’m so sorry to whoever sent it! (◞‸◟；) enjoy!! all feedback and reblogs are welcome! ♡

∿ [ 3.3k ] ⋆ [ continue on to . . . masterlist ]

you sigh as you lazily surf through channels on your tv, the silver lighting illuminating you in your dark room. you were bored out of your mind and there seemed to be nothing on the tv as you continued to click through channels. suddenly, your eyes spotted a familiar face and you froze on the channel it was currently on.

“the rockstar and punk rock prince himself has once again caused distress for hotel owners during his world tour. reports say that him and his band mates leave the rooms trashed with broken beer bottles everywhere, they blast music into the early hours, and there were even reports of doors hanging off the hinges. the owners even say that the amount of women—“

your eyes widen as you watch the various clips of kai playing his guitar at one of his recent concerts, completely in his element. your mind drones out the reporter as your gaze is practically glued to the screen. the channel shows multiple videos of the lead singer and lead guitarist of your favorite band ever—either clips of him and his band mates playing at their shows or paparazzi clips of him exiting and entering hotels. you can’t help the smile that forms on your face.

sighing dreamily to yourself, he was just so sexy. especially with his new silver hair that he showed up with at one of his shows. the channel showed a close up of his hands playing the guitar and you could already feel the slickness build up on your panties.

you heard about his multiple relations with women and you desperately wished that you were part of it. all you needed was one chance. one chance to get close to him and you were sure that he would end up falling in love with you. maybe he would even give you a behind the scenes of his rockstar life, take you on tour with him and his band.

excitement built up in you and you ran over to your closet to fuss over your concert outfit again. the concert of his you were going to was tomorrow and you just couldn’t wait. he was finally playing in your hometown, brooklyn. you’ve been to so many of his band’s concerts with no luck, but this time you had a good feeling. this time, you were going to strike gold.

you had been planning your outfit for weeks now. you had to stand out, and you had just the outfit. one that you knew for sure kai would like.

that’s where you were now—front row of his concert in your little outfit as you waited with the others in the crowd for the band to come on stage. you adjusted your outfit again, albeit, it was a bit skimpy, but with your cropped shirt that basically showed your tits, short skirt so short that your round ass was hanging out with fishnets underneath, and platform boots, you were sure to gain kai’s attention.

the crowd cheers as your favorite band, skipping stones, comes onto the stage and you joined right in with them, raising your hands in the air and jumping up and down as they set up their equipment. they begin playing and you let the music flow through you as you start to dance.

the band is interacting with the crowd, getting them riled up, when suddenly yeonjun shouts into the mic, “are you fucking ready?!” the crowd cheers one more as the beginning chords of your favorite song start to play. you gasp, a smile lighting up your face as you start to sing the lyrics along with kai.

“been free falling into the sky. under the cliff, at the edge of paradise.”

he held his microphone out to the crowd so the audience could sing along with the next line, it was his band mate soobin’s part. at the top of your lungs you screamed, “don’t know how to fly, but i’m gonna try to let go.”

kai’s eyes drifted over your area as yeonjun began his lines and you screamed louder. his gaze found yours and your eyes widened, the big smile on your face growing. he scanned your outfit, the corner of his mouth rising slightly as the song continued behind him. subtly you raised your arms in a way that pushed your tits together and made your shirt rise as you cheered again.

beomgyu and yeonjun made their way over to your section as they sang their parts. “i throw myself, throw myself, throw myself. free falling, falling, falling, say!”

you threw your head in the air with them as the chorus plays, cheering more when taehyun moved towards you singing, “throw it away, your body, yeah!” the girl next to you almost fainted and you grabbed onto her to keep her upright. she gave you an embarrassed smile and muttered a thank you.

the boys moved around the stage, holding their mics out for the crowd to sing as they played their instruments. kai made his way over to where you stood. he bent down right in front of you, moving his guitar out of the way as he found your eyes. internally, you felt like you were on fire and that any minute now you were going to faint, but you knew that this was the moment. you couldn’t mess this up.

you pressed up against the barricade holding the crowd back as much as you could to get as close to him as possible. kai raised his eyebrows and mouthed, “sing with me?” you nodded fervently. he jumped down from the stage and the security guard in your section raced to get near him. you heart was beating a mile a minute and everything felt so surreal as kai stood in front of you.

“ready?” he said into the mic with a grin and you nodded. you were sure your smile could be seen from space right now. around you the crowd erupted, but you were so focused on kai that it felt like just the two of you. his forehead brushed against yours and he held the mic in between the two of you as you both began singing.

“open your eyes. look at the ground over there. don’t avoid it, never.”

kai backed away slightly with a smile as soobin sang. “good job!” he mouthed. he put his guitar pick between his fingers and reached out towards you. your eyes widened when he placed it between your lips. pushing the hair off his forehead, he winked at you and made his way back onto the stage.

you grabbed the guitar pick from between your lips just as the girl next to you shook your shoulders and screamed next to your ear. you turned to her with a surreal smile, joining her. if you weren’t madly in love with kai then, you definitely were now.

for the rest of the concert kai’s eyes remained on you as he made his way about the stage during different songs. at the end of the concert during their final song he did his signature ending—smashing his guitar up and throwing it to the eager people in the crowd waiting to catch it.

the band said their final goodbyes and you felt electrified as you made your way towards the exit of the venue. you were sure kai was gonna bring you back to his hotel room, it was just a matter of patience. and just as suddenly, a security guard was tapping you on the shoulder with a firm, “ma’am.”

you adjusted your outfit once again, bringing your shirt down so more of your cleavage showed as the security guard guided you backstage. there was various chatter and the figures of the band showed up in your vision once you rounded a corner. 

you couldn’t believe this was actually, finally happening.

“take her to the hotel,” kai said over his shoulder after a quick glance towards you. he then walked off with a staff member. your heart felt like it was going to burst from your chest any minute. the only thought running through your head was that dreams really do come true.

yeonjun walked up to you with a grin. he wrapped his arm around your shoulders as he looked down at you, “when you get bored of him i’m just across the hall. you’d have a much funner time with me instead.” you giggled and he gave you a wink and went to put away his equipment, but not before eyeing your breasts.

time flew past and all of a sudden you were taking the elevator up to kai’s room. the security guard opened the door to his room for you and stood to the side so you could enter. “he will be in shortly,” the guard said before shutting the door behind him. the lock clicked and you sighed as you took a look around the room.

the hotel room was very luxurious, but no doubt that would be ruined by the time the band left brooklyn. you removed your shoes and made your way to the bed. how should you present yourself? should you get naked and wait for him on the bed, or was that too much? either way your clothes were coming off, that was obvious. you were just glad that you decided on wearing a thong. quickly, you stripped the lacy thing off.

in the end you decided on just laying on the bed, angling yourself towards the door as you waited. not long after you heard footsteps and fumbling at the door.

kai stumbled in the room and carried the scent of alcohol in the air with him. he fell forward against the door and it closed loudly. when he turned and saw you on the bed waiting for him he cursed lowly and his heavy gaze traveled your body. “fuck,” kai cursed again, louder.

you smiled slightly, “i’ve been waiting for you.” you sat up from your lying position and moved to the edge of the bed. you crossed your legs, making sure kai got a view of the fact that you definitely weren’t wearing any underwear and his eyes glanced at the discarded thong on the floor.

slowly he moved towards you while unbuttoning his jeans. “on your knees, mouth open,” kai demanded. you abided, sliding from the edge of the bed and letting your knees hit the plush rug below.

your mouth hung open and you stared up at him with innocent eyes. he pushed down his jeans and kicked them to the side. your eyes widened. his large cock hovered just inches from your face, the long and veiny shaft practically throbbing as precum dripped from the angry red tip. you inhaled deeply as your gaze slowly rose back to kai’s.

“that’s a good girl.” kai cupped the side of your face, small smile playing on his lips. he rested his heavy cock on your awaiting tongue. “now suck my dick like the whore that you are.”

you wrapped your lips around his tip and slowly took more and more of him until you felt him in the back of your throat. you kept your eyes on his as you hollowed your cheeks and breathed in through your nose. his hand threaded it’s way into your hair at the back of your head and gripped tightly. kai then moved your head up and down his cock, groaning loudly.

your eyes watered as you gagged around his length, dribbles of your spit pouring out from the corners of your mouth. you whimpered and kai groaned louder, his other hand finding it’s way into your hair as he thrusted into your mouth. “fuck,” kai drawled out, “i really do love how good all of you can use your mouths. such per—shit! such perfect little sluts.” his head was thrown back as his hips snapped against you.

you let his words about the other women he’s fucked go in one ear and out the other, pretending that he was only referring to you. in your mind it was just the two of you, and only you could make him feel this good.

his cock twitched and suddenly you felt his heavy load slide down your throat. you moaned around him looking up at him through tear filled eyes, no doubt your mascara was running down your cheeks and your makeup was completely ruined. kai looked down at you and laughed at the sight. “pathetic,” he mumbled with a smirk as he pulled out of your mouth with a sickening ‘pop!’ kai gripped your chin as you panted, smirk widening, “i love pretty girls who cry for me.”

you smiled up at him. you still couldn’t believe that all of your dreams were coming true at this very moment. adjusting yourself, you pressed your thighs together and swallowed thickly. you need friction, any friction, and you were hoping that your night with kai didn’t end here.

“bed,” kai demanded, letting go of you. he shrugged out of the jacket he was wearing and you obediently got onto the bed like he told you to. you were dripping and your breathing was labored as you watched him take the shirt he was wearing off, revealing his toned body. your skin felt like it was on fire and you were trembling.

kai moves to the bed towards you, naked body glowing the lamplight. he settles between your open legs, cock hanging just above where you need him the most. without wasting any time, he grabs at the hem of your cropped shirt and pulls it over your head. he then reaches behind you to unclasp your black lacy bra, discarding the items somewhere to the side without looking.

the sudden cold air on your skin gives you goosebumps and makes your nipples perk up. kai cups your tits and rubs the pads of his thumbs across them briefly, hungry eyes taking in your half naked form. his big hands then grab at your hips and flips you so you’re on all fours, ass up in the air for him.

looking behind you as he palms your ass through your fishnets, he pushes your short skirt up to your waist and spreads your asscheeks apart so he can get a good view of your sopping pussy. “so fucking wet for me,” kai mutters.

kai rubs his tip between your wet folds teasingly before he aligns his hard cock with your entrance through the hole of your fishnets and buries himself inside you until he bottoms out. your arms give out on you and you moan as your cunt gets completely stretched by his thickness. kai runs a hand down your back and pushes you down into the mattress more as he starts thrusting roughly into your poor, throbbing pussy.

you cry out, small whimpers falling out of your mouth with each hard thrust as you feel more tears prick at the corner of your eyes. “that’s it, baby,” kai murmurs in a half moan as his skin slaps against yours lewdly. his big hands grabs your hips and he fucks into you harder, his tip repeatedly hitting your sweet spot and making your eyes roll back.

kai grabs your arms, pulling your elbows back behind you to use a leverage while he pounds into you. the action pulls you up from the bedsheets and you moan louder as tears of pleasure stream down your face. “fuck, fuck, fuck!“ you cry out, “t-too big!”

“take it, bitch,” kai grits out, not slowing his relentless speed. “be a good little slut and take this dick.”

loud, wet sounds reverberated off the walls of the hotel room and they only got louder as you came around him. your cum dripped down your shaking thighs and your ears started to ring, drowning out your hiccuping moans.

“shit,” you heard kai moan out and then suddenly you were on your back staring up at him. your arms grabbed onto his wide shoulders as he brought his lips to yours in a sloppy kiss. you were in complete heaven and your mind was foggy with the idea of him and how good he was fucking you right now.

you wanted so badly to mark his pretty back up with your nails. make him yours and much as he’s making you his right now and leave red lines down the soft skin. but you were too fucked out to even apply the pressure that was needed, you were already weakly holding onto his shoulders for support.

kai pulled away from you at the same time as he pushed his thick cock right back into your cum filled cunt. your mouth opened in a shocked moan and you fell back into the pillows. kai grabbed your legs that were around his waist and moved them so they were pushed together and hovering inches above you. whimpering at the new angle of his cock going deeper into you, you palmed at the blankets and grasped them harshly.

he started back up his vigorous pace while holding your ankles to keep you in place with one of his hands. you leaned your head to the side to watch him with hooded eyes and a slack mouth. kai’s head hung low as he watched his cock disappear over and over again into your pussy, low grunts leaving his open mouth as his chest raised and fell heavily. the muscles of his body flexed and you felt yourself clench down on him from the sight.

kai threw his head back briefly, groaning out a string of curses, before he moved your legs to rest on his shoulders. “fuck… your pussy feels so good.”

you felt the way his cock throbbed as he tightly grabbed your legs on his shoulders and snapped his hips harshly against yours. the way he was fucking into you combined with the sensation of your fishnets rubbing at your core had you cumming all over him again.

“shit,” kai hissed sharply as he quickly pulled his twitching cock out of your messy cunt. you whined at the loss while kai removed your legs from his shoulders and pulled you into a sitting position.

he sat up on his knees and you opened your mouth wide and stuck your tongue out like the good girl that you were. kai stroked his wet cock hurriedly above your face, moaning as white strings of his cum landed all over your pretty features and on your tongue, painting them a pretty white. you licked around your lips and swallowed it all, brightly smiling up at him.

kai ran his fingers through his silver hair and breathed heavily, “good fucking girl.”

he tilts his head to the side. with one hand he moves the messy hair in your face and your heart soared. this was it. you just knew it.

in a demeaning tone kai asks, “was it everything you ever wanted?”

he then moved towards the edge of the bed before getting off of it completely. kai threw one of the towels hanging near the bathroom door at you, “clean yourself up.” with that, he disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door loudly behind him.

you heart sank a little in your chest as you heard the muffled sounds of the shower water run. the dreams of the two of you cuddling, spending the night domestically were completely crushed. you grabbed the towel that landed on your stomach and wiped yourself off. you tried to stay positive, he had just come from back from a concert and fucked you. maybe he was just tired?

you wobbly got off the bed and put your clothes back on, no doubt it will be difficult to walk later. once you had slid your thong back on you heard kai’s muffled shout from the shower, “don’t wait up!” you adjusted your twisted skirt on your body as your heart sank deeper.

∿ [ continue on to . . . masterlist , taglist , request ] all feedback and reblogs are welcome! ♡

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[niningtori]

make you cry | part three: hyuka's ending

part one | part two: beomgyu's ending

pairing: hueningkai x you, past beomgyu x you

summary: after your falling out with beomgyu, kai becomes your new best friend as you spiral out of control. his actions may not be completely platonic, though.

genre: angst, romance, smut (mdni), best friends to lovers

warnings: smut (mdni), unprotected sex, creampie, dom!hyuka, oral (f. rec), dirty talk, praise, choking (sorry), possessive!kai, just some really sweet sex if u ask me, pregnancy kink

word count: 3.9k

notes: y'all... ik i said this would come out on my bday (which is exactly 2 weeks from now hehe) but i couldn't help but post it as soon as i finished it... lord knows i'm impatient. anyway, i said this would probably never exist but since ppl were asking for it, as the biggest pushover in the world, i couldn't say no ;_; i hope you enjoy it!

"you're not gonna die," kai says softly. "it's a shitty circumstance, but you're just making it harder on yourself."

you hum noncommittally while downing another searing shot of vodka. kai watches in horror as you don't even think to chase it, too much of a hassle, you said.

"look, i know how you're feeling, trust me. i just think that torturing yourself is the worst thing you can do right now. whatever happened to self care in the face of heartbreak?" he pleads, and it's like he's talking to a wall. you had been staring listlessly at the same spot for what had to have been at least an hour — no tears, no nothing. just a blank stare and an insatiable need for the next sip.

"yeah, i know. i just wish things were different." you were miserable being just friends with beomgyu before, but that pales in comparison to how used you feel now that you’ve slept with him. 

"i know, baby. i know." at this point, he kind of just wishes you would cry. the awful look on your face seems significantly worse than if you'd just burst into tears.

beomgyu is your best friend, sure, but as you slowly descended into a pit of unrequited love for him, kai had understood like no one else after a particularly nasty breakup with his serial cheating ex. you two found some sort of secret camaraderie in the feeling of loneliness, something beomgyu would never understand, given how easily everything tended to work out for him. except for right now, you guess.

"alright, i think i'm done here," you slur and shakily stand as the vodka seems to be doing its job. kai scowls in frustration, wishing he could do more for you, but knowing he can't.

-

kai refuses to let you go home alone, so he hitches a taxi for you two. in the backseat of the car, you lean your head on the window and close your eyes, but all you see is the repeating image of beomgyu with a self-satisfied smirk on his face as he shows you the girl who he will probably end up fucking. you feel mentally sick knowing those eyes will never light up that way for you. you feel physically sick knowing that you gave him everything now and it still wasn’t enough. 

then, as if hearing your thoughts, kai carefully slides his hand around your cheek, which is currently somewhat numb from the coldness of the window and bumpiness of the ride, and softly places your head on his shoulder.

when you finally get to your apartment, you invite him in. he can tell you just don't want to be alone, but he doesn't say anything, just wraps an arm around you as you lead him into your bedroom. after plopping down in your bed, he turns to leave before you grab the end of his shirt.

"can you stay with me?" you plead. and he nods without a word. lying down next to you before pulling you in his warm embrace.

"you know, i think you're gonna be just fine," he whispers into the top of your head. and just like that, the dam breaks, and you finally, finally burst into tears. wail, really. 

you kick your legs like a child, chanting "no, no, no," and lamenting on and on about how things are wrong, wrong, wrong. this isn't how things were supposed to go. he was supposed to fall in love with you and open his eyes and see who’s been with him all along. he’d apologize and kiss you gently to make up for lost time. you hate how you hoped against hope that he would return your feelings and finally, finally start respecting you. but none of that happened the way it should. the way you so fervently hoped it would.

kai just pats your head and rubs your hair, all while cooing "shhh, i know. i know.”

you lay there with him, legs all tangled together and heart aching until you fall into a fitful sleep. 

-

you miss beomgyu, that goes without saying, but it's getting easier these days. this is due in no small part to kai’s persistence. he comes to see you nearly every day and calls you when he can’t. you spend countless nights with him on speakerphone. most nights, he talks about his day, where he went, the people he saw. on the really, really bad nights, he’s just trying to console you. like right now. 

“shh, it’s okay. i know,” he whispers into the phone.

“i-i’m sorry, hyuka. i’m just so sad,” you sob.

“no, don’t be sorry. why are you sorry?” he coos.

“because i’m dumping this all over you. it’s not your job to baby me,” you cry, feeling guilty beyond words, which only makes you cry harder.

“you’ve done the same for me. you know that. i couldn’t have gotten through my breakup if it weren’t for you, so you don’t need to be sorry. i’m here. i’ll always be here.” if you were less confused and hurt, you’d hear the extent of his tenderness. you might even realize how he’s bending over backwards in a way that’s reminiscent of the way you did for beomgyu. the way somebody who really loves you only ever does. but as it is, you don’t register any of it.

-

beomgyu shows up at your doorstep, sometimes. he doesn’t ever really say anything other than your name in a desperate voice between pleas to let him in, but you never do. you have no idea how strong your resolve will or won’t be if you see his face again, so you do your best to avoid him altogether. on a particularly bad night, though, you feel your self control waning. listening to what he has to say just once couldn’t hurt, right? you can’t stand the uncertainty and this seemingly endless purgatory you find yourself in now. you decide, no matter what the outcome is, you’ll put a stop to it tonight.

with newfound courage, you lightly crack your front door to come face to face with the boy who's been haunting you for months now. his red-rimmed eyes widen in shock as he finally sees you in person instead of from his friend’s instagram account. 

“what do you want?” you attempt to ask coolly, but you sound unsteady even to your own ears. beomgyu doesn’t seem to notice, though, and if does, he doesn’t say anything about it. 

“i just wanna talk to you,” he pleads, and you nod before widening the door and letting him in. you gesture for him to take a seat next to you on your couch and he cautiously sits while never breaking eye contact with you, as if he’s afraid that you’ll disappear if he takes his eyes off of you.

“so?” you ask plainly. he clears his throat as if he's been in a daze until now and nervously begins.

“i-i’m sorry for what i did to you. so, so sorry,” beomgyu says weakly. “and i miss you so much i can’t stand it.”

“then why did you do it?” you ask, not without a hint of malice.

“i.. i don’t know. i think i was just so scared to be hurt that i hurt you instead. but being away from you has shown me just how much i need you.” need. what a strange word coming from beomgyu’s mouth. as for needing you in particular? even stranger. 

“you know, i really didn’t mean to hurt you,” he continues, but even he knows how flimsy his words seem right now.

“i know,” you reply quietly.

“i ruined everything,” he says with a sense of finality, no room for argument. “i know i did. but i-is it always going to be like this? i don’t think i can live without you in my life, one way or another.”

“i don’t know, beomgyu.” he flinches at the use of his full name. “it’s going to take some time before we can be friends again.” if ever. you don’t say those last words, but he can swear he hears them.

“that’s okay,” he says with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “as long as you know that i’m sorry, and that you didn’t and don’t deserve how i treated you.”

“i know,”  you repeat. you can’t believe you’re not bawling and pulling him into your arms right now, for better or for worse, but surprisingly, you don’t feel any of the emotions you could’ve bet your life you would feel. you pity him more than anything, and your heart does ache, but more so for the friendship you lost instead of the love that never was. beomgyu wasn’t your best friend for nothing, so as if he can sense how detached you are from him, he says his next words.

“are you seeing him?” he asks with a tinge of melancholy.

“who?” you ask, taken aback at his sudden question.

“c’mon, be serious. kai.”

“k-kai? what do you mean?” he smiles bitterly at your words. 

“i’ve seen the way he looks at you. if you don’t see it yourself, you’re either delusional or blind. after i last saw you, he really told me all about myself.”

“he talked to you after that?” you ask in shock.

“oh yeah. he said he’d beat the brakes off of me if i ever tried to hurt you again, and the only reason why he hadn’t done it already was because you would be sad.” you pause at his earth-shattering words. your sweet hyuka really said that? you can’t imagine someone as soft and caring as him uttering such unforgiving words, but when you think about how much pain he knew you were in, it makes sense. kai had seen the worst parts of you after beomgyu had broken your heart. only he knew just how much you were hurting, and only he would care as much as he did. you don’t know why, but you can’t help but smile softly at the thought of him being so riled up that he acted completely out of character for you. just for you.

“and if i know you, and i do, i’d say that you probably feel the same way he does.” you gasp at his observation. how could he possibly think that?

“y-you’re wrong! we’re just good friends.” best friends, even. you haven’t really thought about kai in that context. everything you’ve ever done seemed purely platonic on your end. but now that you’re really thinking about it, is it actually? the late night phone calls, spending the night in his arms, waking up to kisses on your forehead and promises to see you later. that’s not what “just friends” do, is it? 

“really? then you’d be okay with him acting the same way he does with you with literally anyone else?” you’re at a loss for words at this. what would you do if kai showed his gentleness to anyone else the same way he does for you? how would you react to him staying up all night on the phone with another girl? to him dropping everything just to make sure she’s eaten? to looking at someone else with infinite warmth and care? you wouldn’t like it at all. 

beomgyu smiles sadly at your reaction. he knows now that you’ll never love him again. not in the way he’s realized he loves you. but that’s okay. love is supposed to be selfless. he realizes that now as he watches you stutter and vehemently deny the love you have so obviously begun to have for another man.

on your end, all you can think is: oh god, how long have you been stringing kai along? since your fallout with beomgyu? or even before that? sure, you could hide under the pretense of being each other’s primary support system in heartbreak, but you can’t do that forever. especially not now. in the middle of your reverie, the sound of your front door opening snaps you back to reality. who else would it be besides the boy in question?

“what the fuck are you doing here?” kai growls when he catches sight of beomgyu. he had just stopped by to see if you’re okay since you hadn’t texted him back in awhile. he figured he’d walk in to you sleeping soundly, not to the sight of you and beomgyu getting cozy on your couch. you, of course, were decidedly not getting cozy with beomgyu in the slightest, but kai couldn’t see that in the midst of his rage. 

“me? i’m leaving now,” beomgyu says, sensing danger and cleverly wanting to escape it.

“yeah, you’d better,” kai spits. 

when beomgyu shuts the door behind him, kai immediately turns to you.

“did he hurt you?” you shake your head no. 

“are you okay?” he asks and all you can do is nod. actually, you haven’t felt this okay in a long, long time. things that didn’t previously make sense to you are incredibly clear now. you love kai, you really do. you loved beomgyu, obviously, but those feelings of pain are gone now that you feel the tenderness that is actual, reciprocated love. 

“kai?” you ask in the middle of his barrage of questions about what happened.

“yes?” he asks, completely dropping his interrogation as soon as you say his name. 

“do you love me?” his face crumbles at this question.

“don’t be stupid, of course i love you. you’re my best friend.” 

“not like that. i mean, do you love, love me?” you search his eyes for an answer. his mouth widens and he sputters for a moment before realizing there’s no way out.

“...yes.”

“since when?” you can’t help but ask.

“since always,” he says with a smile, reminiscent of the words you had spoken to beomgyu all that time ago. you can’t even imagine how kai must have felt when he saw you pining after beomgyu, and for so long. actually, you can. that’s how you felt about beomgyu. your heart aches when you think that you’ve unintentionally inflicted the same pain on the sweetest boy you’ve ever known.

“what about your ex?” 

“she’s not you. and i think… i think she knew my heart was never really in it. not like it is with you. i think that’s why she cheated.” it still hurt to be cheated on by her, to be clear, but not more than it did to see your eyes following beomgyu every second of every day. when he cried to you about her, he was really just crying over you.

“i’m… i know you’re not into me like that, and that's okay, it really is. i just don’t want to lose you.” your heart flutters at his words. kai’s selflessness, his care, his indulgence. his love. you try to imagine a world where kai shows the sides he shows to you to someone else. you’d feel absolutely gutted, now that you think about it. unconsciously, you’ve grown to want to monopolize everything about him. you can’t imagine giving him up, not for anyone. not even for beomgyu.

without another word, you gently place your hands on his cheeks and pull his face towards yours. you kiss him softly, tenderly, and he can’t help but gasp before melting into the kiss. there’s so much care behind it along with love, appreciation, and the sense of making up for lost time.

his eyes redden when you insert your tongue into his pliant mouth. 

“s-stop. any more, and i won’t be able to hold back.” “so don’t hold back,” you say as you grab his hand and lead him to your bedroom.

“a-are you sure?” he asks nervously.

“i’m sure,” you say breathily. “i love you, too. so please, just take care of me, okay?” he can’t hold himself back now. the girl he loves is practically begging him to take her, what kind of person would he be if he said no? so he doesn’t. with great care, he strips your clothes off of you and watches in awe as he sees your naked body in front of him. slowly, intentionally, he lays you down on your bed and admires you for all that you are. your cheeks heat up as he presses kisses onto every inch of your trembling body, almost like he’s trying to mark you with a seal that makes you his own, completely. almost like he’s removing traces of anyone else, and you love the feeling of practically being worshiped by a man who’s clearly in love with you.

eventually, his kisses become more and more fiery as he inches towards your fluttering pussy. 

with a curse, he grabs a pillow and shoves it underneath your hips, raising your glistening cunt so you can more easily fully take in the sight of him lapping up your sweetness like he’s starving. you’ve felt similar pleasure before, but nothing quite like this. is this how it feels to be with someone you love who truly loves you back? you think so. your legs are shaking and involuntarily caging him in between them, but he doesn’t try to resist you. it’s like he could die happily in between your legs as he moans into your cunt, the vibrations racking through your body deliciously. he chuckles when you gasp at the feeling of one of his long, knobby fingers entering your heat. he curls experimentally, you cry out his name when he finds your sweet spot and taps it mercilessly, sliding another finger in and following suit. the sweet feeling of his mouth sucking on your clit and the cruel curling of his fingers is enough to bring you to your climax. you cry out his name as your toes curl and legs shake, which only spurs him further, slurping up your slick like he can’t stand the thought of losing a single drop.

“did that feel good, baby? you wanted me to take care of you, right? so just sit back and let me do it. i’ll make you feel better than you ever have.”

he rips off his shirt and unceremoniously tosses it behind him. you’re panting now, gasping for air, but he’s not done with you yet. he sits up and unbuckles his pants, sliding them down his creamy thighs and letting his cock stand tall. his whole body is flushed pink with embarrassment when you take him all in, matching his reddened member, which is currently leaking profusely with precum. he’s so needy for you, and you can see it all over his bright pink face. you should be tired from the intense orgasm he just gave to you, but you can’t help but gulp in anticipation as he lines himself up with your entrance. slowly, he pushes his wide tip in your spasming pussy. 

“o-oh, god,” he says as he splits you open. you can’t even form words because the stretch you feel is absolutely scorching, so you whine instead. tears spring in your eyes as he shakily pulls out then pierces you with one fluid motion, bottoming out completely. 

“y-you’re going to break me,” you cry.

“oh, baby. it’s alright, you can take me,” he says soothingly, but not without a tinge of mischief. that’s all you get before he begins thrusting into you. the harsh curve of his cock dragging along your walls and inadvertently hitting your g spot relentlessly has you opening your mouth, trying not to drool, but failing when he sticks his thumb in your mouth. like a madwoman, you begin to desperately suck on it, which only fuels the fire even more. 

“you look so pretty sucking on me like that,” he coos. “bet you wish it was my dick instead, don’t you?” he snickers as he stuffs his cock into your pussy. “i’ll give it to you every day, okay? you don’t have to beg.” you nod pathetically in agreement. the thought of kai filling you up every day has you needier than before, somehow. you need this feeling, the feeling only he can give you.

his body is scorching hot in your arms. his cock throbbing inside you? even hotter. you watch in awe as he rams himself into you, your whole body shaking with every thrust. 

“t-take it, you can fucking take it. my pretty girl, so fucking perfect for me,” he praises.

this can’t be your sweet, sweet hyuka, right? but as your teary eyes look up at him, you know it has to be. as if he can hear your thoughts, he smirks as he takes one of his hands and lightly grips your throat. it’s not hard enough to hurt you, but enough to have you whimpering. he calls your name lovingly as he drills into your swollen pussy, walls clenching down around him. you whimpering out his name in tandem with the indecent sounds of his balls slapping against you ring inside his head. he feels more and more that he’s losing his grip on reality as he continues to impale you on his cock. a shudder pulsates through you as you feel an orgasm approaching again. you don’t have to say it’s coming, because he can feel it when you clench around him, pussy begging him not to leave as it sucks him in deeper and deeper. 

“fuck, baby, you look so beautiful coming undone around my cock. so gorgeous, this pussy is the best, never wanna leave it.”

neither of you feel particularly sane at the moment, especially not as he clutches your thigh to steady himself as he thoroughly fucks you into your soiled mattress, hand still gripping your throat. 

“gonna come, gonna get you pregnant so everyone knows not to mess with you. do you want that? do you want everyone to know how good i’m fucking you? that you’re all mine?”

“yes, yes, yes! come inside, please!” you manage to choke out. you place your arms around his neck and dig the heels of your feet into his ass as he drills into you. that’s all it takes, really, before his warm seed fills you to the brim. he moans as he releases his grip on your neck and pumps it further and further into you, pushing his load into your cervix as he peppers your face and neck with sweet kisses. 

he collapses, pushing your hair off of your sweaty face so he can get a better look at you. 

“d-did i hurt you?” he asks cautiously, only sobering up now that his release has come.

“it was good, i liked it,” you giggle, admiring his cuteness. he smiles contentedly as he places one hand on your stomach and gently caresses it. 

“you’re so beautiful,” he murmurs. “can’t believe you’re really mine.” mine. what a beautiful word, only made more beautiful by the boy who’s insisting you belong to each other.

“i could say the same thing about you,” you whisper, placing your hand on his blushing cheeks. 

“wanna go again?” he asks, cock already hardening once more.

“w-what?” you ask dumbly as he shifts from beside you.

“i meant it when i said i want everyone to know you’re mine,” he says, positioning himself over you again and sliding his cock up and down your slit. he was right. you’ve never felt this good before in your life, and you wouldn’t want it to be because of anyone else.

taglist: @my313 @superbbananananana @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @everythingvirgoes @beomnoullitheorem @sunny4cast @softesyoongi

series taglist*: @gyulinoo @moamidzyism @sooberryworld @dreamxerz @sweetttkissess @gothraccoons @jaxyy219 @idontwantoeatspicy @soobsfairy444 @denleave1088 @notevenheretbh1 @fairfootedflekk @hihello-pinky @ilovesimjaehyun143 @seolis-world @midwinterblizzard @slutty-cherry @run2min

*if you were tagged in part two: beomgyu's ending i assumed u wanted to be tagged in this one too! if i was wrong, i'm sorry n i will delete ur tag jus lmk!!

[gyumibear]

🎧 txt as — late night texts!

txt as various late night messages they send to their s/o! | requested via poll!

warnings — suggestive content in taehyun’s, angst in yeonjun & kai’s, swearing, kys used in a joking manner, mentions of kissing, lovesick tubatu

genre — smau, crack, established relationship, fluff

[note] — i have nothing to say for myself... i just want all of them to hold my hand expeditiously. like soobin i'm available anytime!! 🥲

ᰔ yeonjun

ᰔ soobin

ᰔ beomgyu

ᰔ taehyun

ᰔ hueningkai

© GYUMIBEAR. do not repost, modify or translate my work onto other social media sites

[hrtbeomi]

୨୧ — HAVING A HEATED ARGUMENT WITH THEM .ᐟ

pairing. OT5 x fem!reader (separately)

warnings. bad grammar, overreacting, reader overthinks a lot, insecurities, abandonment issues, reader being insecure in soobin's one, yeonjun being a little dumb, hyuka's based on a real story .ᐟ

a/n. you may remember this one maybe if you were around 2022,, i had an old user (ihrtrep) but that acc got deleted and took some time off from writing actually but here we are ! i hope you like this <3

CHOI YEONJUN ୨୧

it's no surprise that yeonjun is the type to stay late at night practicing his dancing, not worrying about sleeping or eating, that was something you were always concerned about, sure, you tried to tell him to take care of himself but he would just scoff you off telling you that you were just overreacting.

but the thing is, this went on for a weeks now, he didn't answer your calls or your texts, and that was the last straw for you. reason why you were now in hybe, directly going to see your boyfriend, who was practicing for god knows how long before you got there, it was 2:30am and he looked so tired, he had big bags under his eyes and he looked much thinner since the last time you saw him. you stopped the music, making him finally notice you were there “what are you doing here?” he asked, approaching you quickly “you didn't return any of my calls and didn't answer my texts or anything, i was worried” you said as you watched him frown, and that's how you found yourself stuck in a big argument about what was or was not good for your boyfriend's health.

it all ended with you letting out violent sobs that you were trying to hold back as you walked out of the building after probably ending your two-year relationship with yeonjun.

he was quick to follow you, immediately regretting yelling at you and fighting over something you were clearly right about. when he saw you, he immediately wrapped you in his arms, filling you with sweet words and thousands of “sorrys”, saying that he was carried away by stress and lack of rest, which was completely true. you turned to him, hugging him properly, admitting that you also let yourself be carried away by the insecurity that he was avoiding you because he didn't wanted you around.

you were glad that you finished the stupid argument, yeonjun kissed you gently and lovingly, grabbing your hand and heading to the building to get his things and finally go home with you.

CHOI SOOBIN ୨୧

soobin as your boyfriend was a total sweetheart, he was everything you dreamed of and more but being insecure about yourself was something that would affect your relationship with him sooner or later and it seemed that that moment was today.

currently, you were backstage, waiting your turn to perform on stage, you and soobin were sitting together, giving each other mutual support until some members of lesserafim approached you two, asking soobin if they could talk to him, to which he agreed, of course. you were never the jealous type but that slight insecurity you had slowly started to grow and grow as you watched kim chaewon and huh yunjin talk to your boyfriend, you didn't hate them or anything like that but due to your overthinking, you began to believe that maybe soobin would be better with one of them than to be with you because come on, they were beautiful, kind and talented, everything you were insecure about which caused that when he finally returned to your side, you began to throw passive-aggressive comments at him about it, causing him to yell at you about how you were starting to sound a little paranoid.

“if i'm as paranoid as you say, you better go and be with one of your girlfriends ! they sure are better than me! ” you snapped, and just when soobin was going to say something, you were called on stage to perform, so you wiped away the little tears that had begun to sprout from your eyes and you left.

after finishing your performance and going backstage, your boyfriend was sitting on the couch, waiting for you, he seemed to be thinking of the incident that had happened earlier because as soon as he saw you, soobin got up from his place and went to you, hugging you and filling you with kisses. finally apologizing, you explained everything you felt and that you feared that you could lose him to someone better than you but he hugged you again “you shouldn't worry, love, i love you more than anyone in the world and no one's better for me than you are.”

CHOI BEOMGYU ୨୧

for you, quality time was probably the most important thing in a relationship so you were glad beomgyu was on the same page as you but this can become a problem when you start feeling overwhelmed by each other's presence, that time had come when everything you did was a reason for you to get upset.

you were in the kitchen, making chocolate chip cookies together and it was impressive how none of you were killing each other yet.

until your boyfriend threw flour all over your face.

“what the hell!? why'd you do that!?” you said angrily as you saw him laugh at you.

you couldn't take it anymore, you started yelling in his face to stop being stupid, he looked at you surprised and contradicted you, saying that you should “stop taking everything so seriously!” and that you should enjoy the moment once and for all instead of being so pessimistic all day. you guys went on like that for a while until you finally realized what you were doing, you looked at each other surprised before letting out a “sorry, i shouldn't have said that" and an “it's my fault for bothering you,” anyway, it all ended with you kissing apologetically at him and then finishing the cookies, promising each other to communicate better next time before going to see a movie on the couch of your apartment and cuddling for the rest of the night.

KANG TAEHYUN ୨୧

you and taehyun had good fame as a couple, everyone envied you for the incredible communication you both had, every day you talked about everything that happened to you, whether it was good or bad.

your boyfriend wasn't necessarily known for being a cotton candy due to his sarcastic personality or "his rudeness" as it would appear, you had never understood this bad reputation he got about being "cold" and "serious" but you were able to understand this when he suddenly started answering your messages differently than he used to. of course, this could be due to the fact of not seeing him for a few days because of his busy schedule but whether or not it was for that, you overthought the situation and you couldn't help but feel that he had become much more distant, which was really out of character for him.

when you finally got to see each other, you confronted him about it but the only thing you got was a negative reaction from him, it was no surprise that he was going to react like this because even you knew that you would be mad too but you couldn't help those intrusive thoughts that kept appearing in your head, it was something you couldn't control. you could see how the people in the cafeteria were watching you argue about some text messages and when your small disagreement turned into a big fight, one of the waitresses had to kindly kick you out of the cafeteria.

taehyun looked at you, and you noticed right away because you were looking at him already, both confused by how was it that you got carried away by such a ridiculous situation as the one you were in, this was not normal for you, this was not how you two solved your problems, so you walked along the sidewalk for a while, both completely in silence until at the same time you began to apologize, him admitting that he was feeling so overwhelmed and stressed lately that maybe he didn't even want to talk to you at the time, which you understood but still confessed your concerns to him in case you made him mad or something.

“everything is fine now, okay? we don't need to let this happen again, dear,” he said, taking your hand and kissing it “i love you”

HUENINGKAI ୨୧

usually, when we think of hyuka, the first thing that comes to our mind is "he's a sweetheart", right? this case was no different, he was the best boyfriend you could ask for, you didn't even know what you had done in your past life to deserve someone as incredible as him, he seemed like he came straight out of a taylor swift song, something that made you feel in the clouds.

you were in the honeymoon phase, so you didn't expect to fight three months after dating.

it all started on a tuesday morning, you woke up as if all your energy had been drained, you felt completely miserable and you let your boyfriend know about this, who did not hesitate to hug you and promise to stay by your side all day until you felt better.

soon the afternoon came, 16:30pm and the whole panorama of you and kai was to be in each other's arms, your discomfort still present and just wanting to be with him. he asked you what was wrong, if something had happened the day before or in the morning before you saw him but you weren't even able to answer him, feeling weak, small and unable to answer without your voice cutting off in the middle of you talking, you felt like you'd collapse right there but your boyfriend did not seem to understand it, because even with being the best boyfriend in the whole world, he had a difficult time dealing with this kind of situation.

yeonjun had approached you, asking to speak with him for a moment, you certainly didn't want to let him go since his friend clarified that it wasn't really important but not to your boyfriend, being the kindest person in the universe, he insisted on talking with, giving it way to your meltdown.

not taking it anymore after telling him that if he wanted to go, he could and him responding with a “then i'll go if you want,” his voice strong and the harsh tone in it made it all worse.

yeonjun didn't know what to do when he saw how you fought, throwing cruel words at each other that you would soon regret. when you finished arguing, both of you going their own separate way and not speaking all day until the morning after had arrived.

“i'm sorry,” you said when you saw him for the first time that day “i shouldn't have taken it out on you, it's just that- i've noticed you've been acting different lately and i'm afraid you'll leave me or that you've gotten bored of me,” you confessed with a voice barely above a whisper but your boyfriend was capable of hearing it.

he wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head softly and rubbing your back “i'm sorry too, love, but hey, all couples fight, right? besides, now we can tell how was our very first fight to our grandchildren” he joked, making you chuckle “and you know i will never get bored of you, you're my soulmate, my other half.”

© HRTBEOMI 2024

[beomglocks]

☆.｡.:* pairing: asshole ceo!hyuka x assistant!reader

☆.｡.:* warnings & other : enemies to less hated enemies/lovers, kai is an asshole, very mean, reader is nonchalant, sub!reader, softdom!kai but like meandom aura idk how to explain it, reader lowkey likes kai but like hell no that's ur boss!, unless..., idk if i will ever expand on this concept but fhwuwe i just love the thought of mean CEO kai, im back just for this ig

☆.｡.:* wc : …

you hum to yourself quietly, picking up a white collared shirt that you believe best fits the vibe of the upcoming business meeting.

"what do you think of this one?" you ask calmly. you watch silently as your boss glances up briefly from his phone to look at the attire you've chosen. he cranes his neck back and forth before groaning dramatically.

"i hate it."

you stare at him with a neutral expression on your face as he goes back to gluing his eyes to his phone as if whatever he was doing on there was more important than the task at hand. "that's the fifth one today sir," you speak up.

there's not a hint of mockery in your tone whatsoever. you're just doing your job after all. was it easy? hell no. however, you weren't about to let this stuck up brat get you out of line.

you were used to kai's constant demands. as his secretary and right hand women it's only normal for you to be able to deal with whatever bullshit was thrown your way. you were tougher than he gave you credit for and he had never acknowledged it but you were the only one who had stuck around.

the thing was, kai was used to getting everything he wanted but that all halted once you became his assistant.

normally he could get anything and anyone no matter what. the latest car or prettiest girl to play around with, you name it. he had a habit of fucking around with his assistants until you showed up. the moment you stepped into his office for the interview you were already on his hit list. thankfully you had a friend who worked here already so you knew of his advances towards the woman he worked with.

"its a good thing you're pretty, we'll look good standing next to each other," he had quipped once you sat down. you had held a straight face and answered plainly, not giving in to his advances.

"with all due respect sir, im here to work, not be a trophy on a wall to you." you still remember the way scoffed at you. as if to say, "we'll see". you can tell he didn't like that one bit.

sure, he had hired you despite the rudeness you gave him on the first encounter, why wouldn't he? your resume was impressive. long list of amazing companies he rivaled with in the past and you were smart. sure, he cared about all that in the grand scheme of things but he mainly hired you because you were his type. however, he kept you on a tight leash. metaphorically but he wouldn't be opposed if it were literal. he knew you weren't the type to condone his flirtatious advances and he hated that so he made your life a living hell in return.

no longer was he the boss who occasionally flirted with you and held the door open whenever you were running late. no. he had turned into somewhat of a tyrant, throwing fits over you not liking him in that way and penalizing you for even being just a second late. everyone in the office knew it was never a good day for you if you had to physically be around him.

he sighs, throwing his phone haphazardly on his bed. he rubs his face with his hands as if he's trying to cool himself off from exploding at you. you put the shirt down on the chair closest to the walk in closet, preparing for whatever he has to say to you.

"y/n-" he pauses to look up at you. his blonde hair is strewn all over the place and he has a bored expression. his eyes are narrowed and the way he's looking at you should make you feel small but it doesn't work. at least not outwardly. you'd be lying if you said the way he looked at you didn't make you throb a bit. but you couldn't and wouldn't ever let him win. you didn't care if he was nice or mean to you.

right now though, he's clearly masking the irritation in his eyes with a neutral face.

"i give you the keys to my very expensive, very lavish house not so you can chastise me about my fashion choices and my likes and dislikes but so that you can do your goddamn job and choose the best option for me."

"if i knew what i wanted to fucking wear i wouldn't have hired you in the first place don't you think?" he finishes. you raise your eyes row when he curses at you but remain silent.

he must've really been in a bad mood to curse at you because you don't think he's ever done that. he was mean but never to the point of swearing at you. that's how you knew today he wasn't having it.

he walks up to your still figure at the front of the closet. you're significantly shorter than him which he uses as a way to assert his dominance. he holds your jaw and inspects your face. he hates that you have such an indifferent expression on your face, you swear you see his eye twitch a bit.

"i hate that stupid look on your face," he mutters. "i curse at you and you don't even flinch, i flirt with you and you turn me down.. what do i do to break you?" he asks more to himself than you.

he holds that position for a while, waiting for anything, any sign that will help him out in this situation. you purse your lips because you know exactly what he's waiting for.

an invitation.

"im just here to do my job kai. i don't want to fool around with you." you say. "no matter how you are," you say to yourself. you hope your voice isn't faltering because kai has always respected your personal space but now he's all in your face. "are you serious? you're telling me you haven't thought of me fucking the mess out of you not even once. i mean.." he glances at his king bed for a second. "we're in my room right now, don't be so crass, its offensive.." he smiles a bit at his own intentions.

you hold your stare to the best of your abilities although the wetness that's pooling in your underwear is telling you to just give in. sure, he's your boss, your hot boss who has mentioned time and time again how badly he craves you, so what harm is it?

before you almost let your pussy do the thinking, suddenly you remember the fact that he only wants you just to say he broke you. it was almost like a game to him and you were the prize. you definitely weren't gonna let him win.

you clear your throat, trying to pull away from his grasp. "your meeting will be soon can we please get you dressed?" you say it with so much monotonous that it causes kai to blow another short fuse.

with a light shove he removes his hands from your jaw and sighs heavily. "the day i fuck the indifference out of you will be the day this whole building hears my name," he says to himself as if already imagining how it'll go down. "but it's ok, i suppose i can keep playing this game."

he turns around to look at you still standing stupidly near the closet.

"although im not sure how much longer im willing to play."

[seungrem]

Huening Kai & Yeonjun x m!reader

‘Feel Good’ ~*+

summary: male!reader joins txt on a beach vacation, finding himself attracted to two of its members. Pursued by kai and yeonjun in both the past and present, he struggles to finally choose an idol.

( overview: staff or 6th member!reader (not specified), idol!kai & yeonjun, love triangle trope, whirlwind romance!yeonjun, shy crush!kai, asshole!yeonjun & possessive!kai, smut w both - bttm!reader, ends w both )

( warnings, some nsfw: slight PDA, arguing, very light physical altercation, slut shaming, getting caught, 3sum, manhandling, lack of self respect, teasing/jealously )

emoji theme:

🌿 ( long story - around 6k words )

-🧸 ( tiny fluff crumbs )

+🫧 ( angst- arguing, pushing, indecisiveness, etc. )

❄️ ( +18, minors DNI, yk how this goes )

☁️ ( stands for y/n )

likes, comments, & reblogs r appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Flowing smoothly across the beach on a cloudy summer morning, a light breeze lifts the shirts of three boys. They lie on sandy towels, talking amongst themselves. Reserved, their private seaside sat in front of their two-story, navy blue beach house. A long, white ramp followed the side of the small cliff in which the house sat on, it settling into the sand. The beach itself was around 30ft of land that lead into a vast, turquoise ocean. Without a care in the world, Soobin, Beomgyu, and Taehyun sat, awaiting their friends in the crisp beach air.

After a world tour for their most recent album, the group was given the opportunity to take a break- them desiring a change of scenery. Per their request, the group and their manager asked that ☁️ join them on their trip despite his busy schedule. Of course, ☁️ agreed. He loved the boys’ company, and the boys loved him. A few, quite literally- and a lot more than the others.

Kai and ☁️ were hunched over the kitchen island making sandwiches for everyone. Demanding that Kai wasn’t to touch anything sharp or dangerous, ☁️ did the slicing while Kai put all the ingredients into the sandwiches. The two were relatively quiet, but that was due to it being 9:30 in the morning. Kai was always taciturn and slow in the morning so ☁️ knew to leave him alone.

The small kitchen was filled with sounds of chopping until Kai decided that he wanted a break. He looked over to ☁️ and stared at him, the boy then rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“Hey ☁️, isn’t that Yeonjun’s shirt? Why are you wearing it?” Kai spoke in a sleepy tone, though upon turning to face the boy, ☁️ saw his eyes spark of exasperation.

“I found it in my room and wore it last night. I didn’t really think twice about it.” ☁️ stopped cutting slices of tomato to give Kai his attention. “Why? Does it bother you?”

“I guess not. I could’ve given you something to wear.” Kai said sluggishly, walking over to ☁️ and wrapping his arms around the boy’s body. He rested his chin on top of ☁️’s head as the boy began to start cutting the tomato again.

The beach house’s first floor has an open concept- the living room, dining room, and kitchen being one big room separated by archways. A guest room was also located on the first floor, though it had a door and its own bathroom. That was ☁️’s room, it in-between the kitchen and staircase.

☁️ watched out of the corner of his eye as Yeonjun walked out of his (☁️’s) room. Holding a few pieces of clothing, he strolled into the living room. Kai was completely oblivious, seeming to have fallen asleep holding ☁️.

After a few more minutes of cutting some fruits, ☁️ was done. He stood still as to not disturb Kai, ☁️ rubbing Kai’s hands as an indication that he needed to get going. Kai trudged over to the unfinished sandwiches as Yeonjun jauntily approached ☁️. Noticing a grin on his face, ☁️ sighed.

“Last night was fun.” Yeonjun teased as he laid a kiss on the boy’s neck. He walked over to the fridge still smirking, grabbing a container of orange juice.

Kai quickly turned his body toward ☁️, the spark in his eyes reigniting.

“What’d you do last night?” Kai asked innocently, though ☁️ could tell he was getting upset. ☁️ reached out to the boy, but he stormed past him and walked down the hall.

“Kai, wait.”

☁️ could feel Yeonjun’s grin behind him.

“Not sure what’s up with you two recently..”

☁️ spun around, his tone overflowing with irritation. “Why’d you say that? You know he’s sensitive.”

“Cause. It was fun.” Yeonjun said smiling.

“If you’re going to tell people what we do then.. we can’t do this anymore.” He stared at Yeonjun, who responded by scowling. ☁️ rolled his eyes and began to walk after Kai.

“It’s not my fault you keep leading him on.”

☁️ paused, turning to face the boy once again. “Who told you that? I like him, honestly. Things are just, really slow right now.”

Yeonjun shrugged, sipping his orange juice as if no harm had been done.

☁️ walked down the hallway and turned to the steps. After walking up, he reached the Kai’s room- the first door to the left. ☁️ knocked lightly. After not hearing a response, he opened the door. Kai laid on his plushie-filled bed, his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling.

“Kai..” ☁️ called out, tip-toeing into his room. Kai didn’t respond until ☁️ walked over to his bed, sitting on the edge beside him.

“I thought that I made it so obvious that I liked you.. Do you feel the same way?” Kai lifted his body up on his bed to sit, giving his attention to ☁️.

“Of course I do. Things are just really complicated with..”

“Yeonjun?”

“I was going to say work, but that too.”

“So do you like him more than me?”

“You’re much sweeter.”

☁️ climbed next to Kai, placing his head on the boy’s chest. Kai responded by wrapping an arm around the boy’s shoulder.

“So why do you still entertain him?” Kai asked, continuing to stare at the ceiling.

“I’m not sure.”

The two remained silent for a few seconds before Kai exhaled heavily.

“So you like me, but not enough to stop sleeping with Yeonjun?”

“Kai, I’m not-”

“Don’t tell me you aren’t. You’re wearing his clothes, letting him kiss your neck. He’s sleeping in your room, basically admitting to-”

“Kai.. I’m sorry. It’s complicated.”

“Then you two can be complicated together.” Kai said as he removed his arm from around ☁️’s shoulder, softly pushing him to the edge of the bed.

“I..”

The boy closed his eyes as he placed his hands under his head once again.

“I’ll be outside soon.”

☁️ sighed and slid off of the bed. He walked out of the room, down the stairs, and back to the kitchen, where Yeonjun had placed the sandwiches and sliced fruits in plastic bags.

“Guessing your talk didn’t go as you planned.” Yeonjun thought out loud, not taking his eyes off of the bags he was preparing.

“I was honest with him, for the most part.”

“What’d he say?” Yeonjun asked as he placed the bags into a dark blue cooler.

“He doesn’t want to be near me right now. I told him things are complicated and he asked if I liked him or you better.”

Yeonjun closed the lid and looked over at ☁️. “What’d you say?”

“I liked him more. I don’t think he believed me.”

“How could he when he knows you sit on me every night. Why lie to him?”

“Stop. I’m not lying, I think you’re an asshole compared to him.”

“You’re probably right, but you still like me.” Yeonjun grabbed the cooler’s handle and motioned for ☁️ to follow him. “They’ve waited long enough though.”

☁️ walked to the backdoor, opening it for Yeonjun as he dragged the cooler through. The two followed the ramp down to where the three boys sat. Taehyun turned around, acknowledging the two with a wave.

☁️ watched as the four boys ran into the water despite the cloudy sky and light breeze. Picking at the fruits in his bag, he laid on his stomach. He felt sand land on his towel and feet only a few seconds after.

“Sorry.”

Kai laid his towel down next to ☁️’s, climbing on it immediately after. As Kai laid on his stomach as well, ☁️ noticed his white flannel with navy shorts.

“You’re okay.” ☁️ responded, looking over at him.

The two watched the others in silence until Kai turned his attention to ☁️.

“I’ve decided not to be mad about you and Yeonjun.”

☁️ was shocked by his statement, turning to look back at him.

“How come?”

“We’re not dating. We’re not doing anything. I shouldn’t be mad.” Kai remained expressionless, him turning his attention back to the boys in the water.

“Well, I’d like to do.. something.” ☁️ thought about it, quickly looking around. “We should go out and do something fun together.”

Kai hesitated to respond, though it wasn’t initially obvious. “Would you let me do what he does?”

“What do you mean?” ☁️ asked, continuing his gaze on the boy. He watched as Kai returned his gaze, looking out into the water where the boys were now splashing each other.

“Would you let me touch you like he does?”

☁️ raised an eyebrow at the question. “Is that the fun thing you wanted to do together?”

“You and Yeonjun do it. Why can’t we?” Kai locked eyes with ☁️, though his dull tone didn’t change.

“I thought you wanted to be.. more than that.” ☁️ stared into Kai’s eyes as he did the same.

“I do. But we aren’t anything, yet.”

“Exactly. Wouldn’t you want to wait?”

Kai shook his head, returning his gaze back to the boys.

“Oh… ok.” ☁️ responded, doing the same.

“So, yes?”

“Mm, I’ll think about it.”

☁️ rolled onto his back as the clouds parted ways with the sun, the beach becoming illuminated by its light. Closing his eyes, the boy heard two of the idols run back to their towels, one of them unintentionally dripping water onto ☁️ as they sat down. The other two seemed to slowly follow behind, talking as they did so.

“Are you going in?” Soobin sat on his towel beside ☁️, crossing his legs. ☁️ opened his eyes, turning to face the boy. Beomgyu eavesdropped behind the two.

“Maybe..”

“Hyuka is. Why don’t you go with him? The water’s nice.”

☁️ looked over his shoulder to see Kai’s towel vacant. The boy was standing up to his ankles in the water, seemingly admiring the view. ☁️ turned back toward Soobin and nodded, him then standing up.

“Hey Yeonjun, fight back.” Beomgyu looked over to Yeonjun, laughing obnoxiously. As Yeonjun lunged at him, he fell into Soobin, who pushed him into the sand. ☁️ laughed, mouthing a ‘thank you’ to Soobin, who smiled in response.

☁️ could hear Yeonjun yelling behind him as he turned around. The sand was soft under his feet as he walked, though it gradually became cooler and more compact. Eventually, ☁️ stepped into the fresh water as it receded back into the ocean, slightly suctioning his feet under the sand as he continued deeper. As he stood beside Kai, he wondered why the boy wasn’t acknowledging him.

“Kai,”

The boy turned his head, clearly surprised.

“Hi. Do you want to go deeper?”

☁️ looked at his toes under the clear blue water, the sun now illuminating the sea.

“Not really.. but if you want to I will.”

Kai grabbed ☁️’s wrist, pulling him farther into the water. The ocean rose higher up ☁️’s body as the two stepped further, waves crashing into the two as they proceeded. Now soaked, ☁️ stopped as the water level was equal to his collarbone.

“Why’d you stop?” Kai asked, tugging at the boy’s wrist.

“We’re too deep.”

“Come here.”

Kai grabbed ☁️’s waist from under the water, slowly moving the boy close to him.

“Wrap your legs around me.”

☁️ wrapped his arms and legs around Kai, getting nervous. The four boys on the beach were as small as ants at this point, and who knew what was lurking in the water.

“Kai, don’t go further. We’re too far.”

“I got you, though. I can swim.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about.”

☁️ turned around, watching as the water in the distance rose. Their bodies began moving farther out, the ocean sucking them under a large swell.**

** Swell: A traveling wave that hasn’t broken the ocean’s surface tension yet, thus making it a moving dome.

☁️ felt Kai kick his legs to keep them afloat, but the swell had engulfed over them. Kai pushed the boy upwards, ☁️’s head and shoulders back above the water. Kai followed directly after, gripping ☁️’s lower back and pushing them together. He coughed a bit, then shook his head to get the hair out of his face. The two stared at each other, Kai laughing out of embarrassment.

“Sorry..” Kai looked up at ☁️ with puppy eyes, water dripping down his face and neck.

“I thought you got me.”

“I did. You just distracted me.”

“How?” ☁️ furrowed his eyebrows at the comment, holding onto Kai as the two floated over another swell.

“‘Cause you’re pretty.” Kai held eye contact with ☁️, the boy melting under his touch despite the ocean water’s coolness.

“You’re pretty, too.” ☁️ whispered, tightening his arms around Kai’s neck. Kai leaned his head forward as ☁️ did the same, the two locking lips. ☁️ could taste the ocean’s salt on the boy’s lips as he brushed his fingers along the boy’s hair. Kai’s hands traveled down to ☁️’s waist then hips, ultimately settling on the boy’s ass. ☁️ stuck his tongue into Kai’s mouth as they made out, Kai reacting by gripping the boy’s cheeks and doing the same. ☁️’s legs tightened around Kai’s hips as his growing bulge brushed against the boy’s stomach. Another swell brushed over their shoulders, though Kai kept them afloat.

Kai pulled away from ☁️ as another swell approached the two, it much bigger than the last few. Grabbing ☁️’s hands from around his neck, Kai lifted them to float over the wave.

“I can’t keep kicking, let’s head back.”

☁️ looked around Kai’s head to see that they were farther from shore than they had originally been. He grabbed Kai’s arm, the two riding the waves back to where they could stand. As ☁️ felt sand under his feet, he exhaled, out of breath.

The two slowly trudged through the water as waves splashed against their backs. Side by side, they walked out of the water and into the sand’s warmth. Their steps stained the beige sand brown as ocean water dripped down their bodies. ☁️ looked over to Kai, who held his hands in front of his crotch.

“Does this mean you aren’t mad at me anymore?” ☁️ said teasingly, pointing down there.

Kai glanced over at ☁️, smiling at the comment as they arrived to their towels.

“Why’d you guys go so far out?” Beomgyu asked, him lying on his back. ☁️ sat down on his towel as Kai laid on his stomach.

“He wanted to.” ☁️ responded, looking up at the sun. The sun was now bright and sending extensive amounts of warmth to the Earth as the clouds disappeared.

“I’m glad we did.” Kai whispered, turning his head to look at ☁️.

☁️ smiled and rolled his eyes, whispering back. “I’m sure you are.”

“Are you trying to make me look bad?”

Yeonjun stood in front of ☁️ after the others had walked inside.

“I’m not trying to do anything.” ☁️ attempted to walk around Yeonjun, but he stepped in front of him again.

“We all saw you and Kai in the water. The hell were you thinking?” Yeonjun took a step forward with vindictive, maniacal tone. His face displayed his rage- an eyebrow raised and nose scrunched.

“Why’re you mad? Nobody else seemed to care.” ☁️ asked innocently, placing a hand on Yeonjun’s arm and trying to move around him again. Yeonjun grabbed ☁️’s arm back in response, shoving the boy’s body against the beach house’s blue exterior. Yeonjun stood in front of ☁️, both hands on his sides as to not allow him to move.

“Everyone knows you’re mine. You can’t just-”

“I was never yours. You told me to stop leading him on, didn’t you?”

“Not at the expense of that ass.” Yeonjun mumbled, gazing at the boy he had pinned against the wall.

“All we ever did was f-”

“So?”

“So.. I guess it’s time we moved on. You should move on.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear.”

☁️ looked at Yeonjun in confusion as the boy removed his hands from the wall. Yeonjun stood expressionless, motioning his hands over to the door beside them.

“What?” ☁️ furrowed his eyebrows as he remained with his back against the wall. Yeonjun didn’t respond, choosing to stare at the boy instead. ☁️ nodded and mouthed an ‘okay..’ as he stepped aside and opened the door, Yeonjun following close behind.

☁️ glanced behind him as he walked across the living room and to his bedroom, again with Yeonjun close behind him. Beomgyu and Taehyun watched from the kitchen, ☁️ not acknowledging them. As he reached the door, ☁️ turned around.

“What’re you doing?” ☁️ questioned, though Yeonjun ignored him. As ☁️ was about to turn around, Yeonjun grabbed his arm and opened the room door, forcing him in. ☁️ stumbled in as Yeonjun closed and then locked the door behind them. ☁️ fell onto his knees right in front of his bed. Looking up, he was met by Kai’s angry expression. ☁️ quickly turned around, watching as Yeonjun turned to face him.

“What the hell? Why’re you in here?” Yeonjun jumped as he noticed Kai sitting on ☁️’s bed.

“Why are you in here?” Kai asked, looking down at ☁️. “Why’s he in here, ☁️?” He murmured, ☁️ shrugging in response.

“‘Cause we were gonna talk. Without you.”

“Did you have to push me?” ☁️ asked, standing up and sitting next to Kai.

“Kai, get out.” Yeonjun said, using his thumb to point behind him.

“☁️, do you want me to get out?” Kai bantered, turning his head from ☁️ back to Yeonjun.

“No, just say what you were gonna say.” ☁️ said, looking at Yeonjun.

“Fine, I’ll just go.” Yeonjun threw his hands up, turning around and grabbing the doorknob.

“Wait! Just tell me.” ☁️ pleaded.

“Okay, I’ll whisper it.” Yeonjun said, motioning the boy to come over to him. ☁️ walked over, standing in front of him with his head to the side. Yeonjun leaned down slightly, placing his head in the space between ☁️’s neck and shoulder. As ☁️ waited for Yeonjun to begin, he felt a pair of lips land on his skin and start sucking. ☁️ felt his bulge grow as he pushed Yeonjun away.

“You asshole.” ☁️ said discreetly covering his boner with his hand.

“When he doesn’t feel as good as I do, just call me.” Yeonjun whispered, him then grinning at a visibly angry Kai. He left the room, satisfied, as ☁️ turned to face the boy on the bed. Kai simply stared at ☁️, his expression monotone.

“Sorry, I didn’t think-”

“Do you think I’d make you feel good?”

☁️ was taken aback by his question, though Kai’s expression remained unfazed. The boy trudged over to the bed, sitting next to Kai while still covering his hard spot.

“You know, that’s not really something you ask someone.”

“You also aren’t supposed to sleep with your friends. But you do.”

“Why’re you being sassy?” ☁️ rolled his eyes and climbed onto his bed. Resting his head on the pillows, he pulled his phone from out of his pocket. ☁️ brought his knees up, placing his feet flat on the bed as he replied to messages. With his phone over his face, he watched Kai climb over to him from under the screen. Kai placed a hand on each of the boy’s ankle moving them to the side. He placed his head in between the boys legs, continuing up his body. ☁️ finally gave the boy his attention once Kai popped his head in between ☁️ and his phone, then resting his face on ☁️’s chest. Kai pushed his arms under ☁️’s back, hugging him. ☁️ smiled to himself, placing his phone down and playing with the boy’s hair.

“Answer my question..” Kai purred as he laid in between the boy’s legs.

☁️ huffed. “You already did. Remember?”

“You mean in the water?”

“Mhm.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Why not?”

“Because, that was only for a second.”

☁️ didn’t respond, continuing to play with the boy’s hair. After impatiently waiting, Kai looked up expectantly.

“Why are you so caught up on it?” ☁️ asked, rolling his eyes. Kai removed an arm from under him, turning his body to place a finger on ☁️’s bulge- it still hard. He looked up and smiled.

“I just wanna take care of you.”

“Do you?” ☁️ asked sarcastically, pushing the boy’s finger off of his shorts.

“I do.” Kai stated, his cool tone sending a shiver down ☁️’s spine.

“Come here.” ☁️ instructed, softly grabbing Kai’s chin and leading it to his. Kai climbed over the boy’s body, their faces now inches apart. The window behind them displayed beams of orange sunlight, illuminating Kai’s features. ☁️ smiled at the boy in front of him, watching as his dark figure transformed into one of glowing orange.

☁️ pulled Kai’s chin once again, this time directing the boy’s lips to his own. Kai readjusted his form, forcing his hips in between ☁️’s legs and placing his hands on each side of the boy’s shoulders. ☁️ reacted by wrapping an arm around the boys neck, which resulted in their kiss becoming deeper. Kai’s bulge began growing in between ☁️’s legs, him thrusting harshly as the two continued to pull on each other’s tongues. ☁️ couldn’t help but moan between each thrust as his body began to warm up. Kai pulled away and tugged at ☁️’s shirt.

“Take it off.” Kai demanded, taking his own shirt off- it revealing his smooth pecs.

“Since when were you assertive?” ☁️ laughed slowly pulling his shirt off.

Kai smiled, diving into the boy’s neck. ☁️ moaned loudly as Kai began kissing and biting the boy’s skin. Rubbing his hands through Kai’s body and hair, ☁️ wrapped his legs around the boy’s waist.

After a few seconds, Kai placed both hands on ☁️’s waist, falling backward. ☁️ now sat on top of Kai’s boner, the boy under him grinning.

“Now the pants.” Kai cooed, helping the boy remove his pants and underwear. Kai then directed the boy’s head down to his torso, ☁️ placing kisses over his abdomen. “It’s all yours.”

☁️ smiled at the comment, climbing up to his pecs. He placed his tongue along them, Kai’s hand moving to the back of ☁️’s head. He slowly moved the boy’s head down to his hips, ☁️ slowly pulling his pants down and off of his body. Throwing them aside, he ran his hand along Kai’s long length. Kai pushed ☁️’s head down onto his underwear, the boy softly biting the boner through the material.

It didn’t take long for ☁️ to place his fingers on the waistband, pulling the underwear down to reveal Kai’s length. He didn’t expect to get smacked in the face by it, which caused Kai to laugh softly. He guided ☁️’s head to it, the boy opening his mouth and taking it in. ☁️ began bobbing his head slowly, using his tongue to add another sensation. Kai threw his head back, gradually pushing the boy’s head deeper and deeper onto his dick. After a few of his own thrusts, ☁️ began to gag.

“Sorry..” Kai whispered, quickly pulling the boy’s head off of his length. ☁️ wiped the saliva from his lips, watching as Kai repositioned himself to kneel in front of him.

“Get down.” Kai instructed again, shoving the boy down beside him. He moved behind ☁️, both of their backs against the window and facing the door. The sun’s orange light faded out of view as it succumbed to the earth below, leaving the two with the moon’s soft glow instead.

Kai slapped his length as few times against ☁️’s ass as he arched his back. Brushing against Kai’s pelvis area, ☁️ felt a liquid drip down his asshole, a pair of fingers then entering him. ☁️ gasped at the sudden sensation, Kai continuing to roughly move his fingers in and out. Whimpering from the pain, ☁️ placed his head into his crossed arms, muffling his cries. Kai slowed down eventually, pulling his fingers out and rubbing ☁️’s ass.

“Condom, right?” He asked, ☁️ turning around to watch him grab something from the nightstand behind them.

“Yeah. Did you bring one knowing I’d let you do this?” ☁️ muttered, embarrassed.

“No, this stuff is yours. From the nightstand’s drawer.”

“You went through my stuff?”

“Just your nightstand.” Kai said without much emotion, tugging on his dick. “Ready?”

☁️ sighed and whispered a ‘yeah,’ lowering his head back down on the bed. Kai placed his hand on the boy’s head once again, placing his hips a few inches away from ☁️’s ass. After stroking a few more times, Kai slowly put the tip in, making ☁️ yelp softly. After he continued inching his dick inside, he placed his other hand on ☁️’s waist. Kai groaned softly as ☁️ tightened around him.

He steadily moved his hips back and forth, letting ☁️ adjust to his length as the boy continued to whine. Kai’s hands were on each side of ☁️’s waist now, picking up his speed as he thrusted his entire length in. Kai kept a steady pace shoving his length in and out, ☁️’s head practically hanging off of the edge of the bed.

The creak of the turning doorknob caused Kai to stop, the two of them looking up in horror as the door swung open.

“You little slut..” Yeonjun’s eyes were wide open, obviously surprised to see ☁️ getting fucked from behind by Kai. The two were too shocked to speak or move, watching as Yeonjun closed the door behind him, then locking it. He wore a plain white tee with striped pajama pants, his hair wet and pushed out of his face.

“I can’t believe you’d let him of all people get it.” Yeonjun gritted his teeth, turning back around to the two.

“Fuck off, Yeonjun.” Kai spewed his words, them dripping with anger.

Yeonjun approached ☁️, who was still hot and softly whimpering. He moved his crotch inches away from ☁️’s head, him then placing a hand behind the boy’s neck. Yeonjun grinned at Kai as ☁️ reached over and tugged at the boy’s pants.

“I usually sneak down here around this time. Do you want me to go, ☁️?”

☁️ shook his head, him then turning to Kai. “You’re doing really good, do you mind if he joins?”

Kai looked over to Yeonjun, whose grin turned into a grimace.

“..No.” Kai said gripping ☁️’s ass as he slowly began moving his hips again.

Quick to help ☁️ pull his pants down, Yeonjun smacked his boner onto the boy’s face. Yeonjun often snuck down without underwear, making their nighttime routine more convenient. ☁️ grabbed ahold of Yeonjun’s long length, but struggled to put it in his mouth as Kai increased his thrust speed, rocking the boy’s body.

“This guy..” Yeonjun murmured, gripping ☁️’s face and shoving his dick into the boy’s mouth. Yeonjun and Kai both moved their hips back and forth with velocity. ☁️ began tearing up due to the excessive pain, though pleasure didn’t linger too far behind.

After a minute, Yeonjun yanked ☁️ forward, making Kai’s dick fall out of ☁️’s ass. ☁️ caught his breath, wiping the tears falling from his face.

“The hell?” Kai said, inching up to ☁️’s ass again.

“It’s my turn.” Yeonjun stated, pushing ☁️ onto his back. “Hand me a condom.”

“Get it yourself.”

“I’ll put my dick in your boyfriend raw.” Yeonjun smiled, watching as Kai rolled his eyes and grabbed him a condom and the bottle of lube. “Wouldn’t be the first time..” Yeonjun mumbled.

“Stop. We haven’t done that.” ☁️ huffed, still lying on his back. He looked at Yeonjun, and then to Kai, who practically sat over him. ☁️ began stroking Kai’s cock as it hung over his face, Kai smiling. After a few seconds, Yeonjun lifted the boy’s legs over his shoulders, him then aggressively tapping his cock on ☁️’s ass. He poured liquid onto his hands, spreading it over his dick and ☁️’s hole. It didn’t take long for him to shove it into ☁️, groaning loudly as he did so.

“You’re so tight even though Kai should’ve stretched you out.” Yeonjun said, grunting as he sent slow, yet powerful thrusts into ☁️’s hole. “Says a lot.”

“Shut up, Ye-” ☁️ was interrupted as Kai shoved his dick into the boy’s mouth. Kai turned his body to the side, lifting ☁️’s head so that he could fuck into it.

Yeonjun began picking up speed, claps filling the room alongside ☁️’s muffled moans. With a tight grip on the boy’s legs, he leaned forward, shoving his dick as deep as he could. ☁️ yelled out in response, practically choking on Kai’s dick. All he could do was stroke his own and grip the sheets around him.

As ☁️ felt his rush climaxing, Kai yanked his dick out of the boy’s mouth. He then pulled him further onto the bed, and on top of him. Kai laid on his back, quickly leading the boy onto his dick. ☁️’s back faced Kai as he thrusted sloppily into the boy. Yeonjun grunted, climbing onto the bed and standing in front of ☁️. He gripped the boy’s hair and smacked ☁️ with his dick, forcing him to open his mouth. Yeonjun thrusted steadily as ☁️ rolled his eyes back, his climax rushing back. Kai’s thrusts became more aggressive, causing ☁️ to bounce along with the rhythm Kai was providing him.

Whimpering loudly, Kai gripped ☁️’s waist, shoving the entirety of his length into ☁️ one last time. ☁️ could feel the boy’s length warm up inside of him, causing him to cum as well. The white liquid dripped on and down Yeonjun’s leg, making the boy curse out. Yeonjun grabbed ☁️’s head, thrusting harshly until he, too, came over the boy’s face.

☁️ slowly slid off of Kai’s dick, falling softly in front of Yeonjun. He felt Kai readjust himself as Yeonjun sat in front of ☁️. Kai scooped the boy up, walking over to the bathroom and setting him on the counter. ☁️ watched as Kai walked back into the bedroom, throwing on his underwear as Yeonjun pulled his pajama pants up. He grabbed ☁️’s shorts before turning to Yeonjun.

“I think it’s time you go.” Kai said, walking back over to the bathroom.

“Sharing is caring.” Yeonjun said, following Kai. ☁️ began brushing his teeth as the two walked in, Kai helping the boy put his shorts on. Kai was about to argue, but ☁️ tugged on his arm. He handed Kai a spare toothbrush from the cabinet, with Yeonjun’s already out.

Kai huffed, grabbing the toothpaste from beside ☁️. The three brushed their teeth before wiping their bodies with wet towels, ☁️ helping Yeonjun wipe down his leg. Throwing the towels in a basket, Kai once again scooped ☁️ up, bringing him over to the bed. Kai sat down next to him as Yeonjun walked to the opposite side, lying next to the boy.

“Just lay down.” ☁️ instructed softly, laughing at Kai’s possessive reaction. Kai did as told, throwing the covers over his body as he wrapped an arm around ☁️, who turned his body to face him. Kai brought the boy close, gripping his ass to Yeonjun’s dismay. Yeonjun reacted by placing his bulge in between ☁️’s asscheeks, and his head into the boy’s shoulder. Heat insulated from in-between both of the boys, causing ☁️ to quickly fall asleep.



a/n: This is a very serious reminder that Yeonjun’s actions are okay in fanfic world, but not in real life!!! Do not let someone treat you like that- it is not fun nor is it okay. Please respect yourselves. Anyways, on a less serious note, i hope u enjoyed !! ♡

likes, comments, & reblogs r appreciated ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[bbhyeoliskooks]

𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞 | hnk

kai thinks you deserve better... maybe someone like him.

✥ genre: bestfriend!Kai x gn reader, soft fluff and a pinch of angst, 800+ words

✥ warnings: mentions of infidelity

✥ song rec: Boyfriend -- Big Time Rush

Wrapped up in Kai's silky blue bedsheets, you were mourning the loss of your last relationship which just so happened to end the same day. Immediately after being broken up with, you asked Kai if you could stay over to be distracted; there was no way you would stay in your room, haunted by the many gifts and memories that were made. Although it was on such short notice, the boy agreed nonetheless, hoping that his presence could somehow make things better. He picked up some chicken noodle soup, a comfort meal that may not be the cure to heartbreak but could ease your heart and health a little bit.

Shivering, you cuddled up next to Kai and his many plushies. You relished in his natural warmth as though he was a teddy bear. Silently he let you lay against his arm, immediately drawing circles on the top of your head. You hummed, his presence easing the blow of the breakup from earlier. The only thing that could be heard was your breaths over the shuffling of the bedsheets, but Kai didn't mind. He liked when you cuddled, something that had come to a standstill since you started dating your horrible ex of a significant other.

Yes, Kai wasn't afraid to say it, always speaking his mind whenever your old significant other came up. From the moment you two met, he disapproved, buying into your ex's reputation more than getting to know the person themselves. Plus, he didn't appreciate that you couldn't be as close to him since it'd look weird to the outside world and your ex. Time didn't soften Kai's opposition from your significant other and he always hated them for who they seemed to be. So when you came to him, crying that your ex hadn't been faithful for a long while, he wasn't exactly surprised. But did he say that?

He was unable to criticize your choices in people as you curled closer to his chest, enjoying his comfort. He smiled quietly while you sighed, intentionally ignoring the soup that was specifically bought for you. He may have forgotten to get some food in your system but only because you were physically close to him again like one of his plushies. He also didn't care that you could possibly get sick, willing to become ill as well as long as it meant you felt better from a horrible predicament. It seemed as though you belonged right there in his lap, perfectly molded for your resting and whenever you needed him. If anything, Kai was made for you; how could you not realize that?

Your eyelashes fluttered as you looked up at him, a frown on your face. Probably delirious from the heartbreak and the new cold you were getting (your ex thought it was a good idea to break up with you as soon as possible, even if that meant in the rain), you tugged on the ends of Kai's soft blue hoodie. He looked at you very confused but attentive to whatever you needed. If you wanted him to spin 10 times even if he became dizzy, he would do it. If you wanted him to grab your favorite drink even though it was 30 minutes, he would do it. He waited for whatever you were going to say, gazing at you expectantly.

Your voice faltered as you asked softly, "am I unloveable?"

Kai, now frowning, shook his head. Rage boiled in his blood, flowing through his fingers as he stopped combing your hair. Did your ex make you feel like that? His throat felt parched, too angry that you out of anyone else would be feeling like that. No one should be feeling that, much less you, his best friend that he had come to admire so much.

"Of course not. You deserve so much better, Y/N."

Although you knew that Kai was just trying to cheer you up as your best friend, you couldn't help but feel that it was a lie. Your self-love and confidence was at an all-time low, plummeting to where you assumed it would never recover. You weren't going to pester your best friend for more reassurance though, knowing that he would probably find it annoying- your insecurity and issues that came from a relationship he never approved.

Kai, studying your crestfallen expression, wanted to do whatever to make you feel better. He thought that his words were good at the moment but of course, they were only bandages that covered deep wounds. He looked away, too embarrassed to look you in the eye. His thoughts were rather scandalous, not something that a best friend should think. All the while, he cupped your cheek gently, making you look at him.

You watched him, face heating up as he spoke quietly.

"You deserve better," he paused before rubbing his thumb delicately on your cheek, "maybe... maybe someone like me."

Released: July 6, 2024 (4:28pm CT)

Thoughts: bro I literally need hyuka to comfort me about my cheating ex 😒 I want to be wrapped up in his sheets with him holding me while his plushies watch 😭😭😭 delulu hours open it seems… ALSO LOOK AT HOW FINE HE IS IN THE PICTURES LIKE WTH HYUKA 😞

Tags:

[harmonicakai]

Anyone Else But You, a six-part series

It's starting to feel like you're the only person in the world that Huening Kai isn't best friends with, and you're determined to figure out why.

Part 1: The Only Exception

Part 2: Look After You

Part 3: This is Me Trying

Part 4: Like or Like Like

Part 5: Was It Something I Said?

Part 6: The End of Beginning

Epilogue: I’ll See You There Tomorrow

FIC INSPIRED SPOTIFY PLAYLIST <3

[wooyukh]

— TXT AND THEIR RED FLAGS !!

ᥫ᭡ yeonjun - COMMITMENT ISSUES

you were well aware of his commitment issues when your relationship first began. all the signs where there but you stayed because you were so convinced you could change him. you were so convinced that you were different to him. you were convinced you were the missing piece he needed. yet here you are crying on your living room floor hugging your knees to your chest wondering where it all went wrong.

yeonjun didn't mean to hurt your feelings at all. the relationship was getting too real, he needed out and quick. you were his best friend, you were well aware of his tendencies, you should understand. or well at least that’s what he keeps telling himself. 

it wasn’t the hugs. it wasn’t the kisses. it wasn’t the cuddles. you weren’t the problem. he was. he is the problem.

it was the way he would look at you. it was the way he would kiss you. it was the way his heart would beat out of his chest whenever you were next to him. it was the small smiles he would send your way. it was the way he would always subconsciously reach out for your hand wanting to hold it. it was the way his heart would ache when you weren't near him. it was the way an ‘i love you’ almost slipped out of his lips while you giggled and kissed his nose. that’s when he became hyperaware of what was happening. he was scared. he was terrified of the way you made him feel. he needed an out and needed it now.

the sad thing is you will never know how he truly felt about you. in your eyes, he was your best friend who just wanted to mess around with you. in your eyes, yeonjun got bored of you. and yeonjun was okay with that. yeonjun was okay with you despising him because in the end he saved himself from heartbreak. right?

ᥫ᭡ soobin - TAKES YOU FOR GRANTED

it's not that soobin does it on purpose. he really doesn't and you know that but that doesn't make it hurt any less. you know he loves you because he shows it every opportunity he can when he's with you. but that's the thing, he only shows you when he's with you. as soon as you're not physically there with him, he lacks the motivation to plan out dates or to simply respond to your texts. he knows he should do better and he constantly keeps telling himself he will but he also keeps letting it slide.

you let a small sigh leave your lips as you moved your blurry vision to look down at your hands. there wasn’t much sound other than the small clock ticking in the distance constantly reminding you that you we're alone and that soobin wasn’t besides you. it was like it was purposely mocking you, reminding you of yet another failed date.

hearing your phone's notification sound, you immediately reach out for your phone. excitement flowing through your veins whenever you see soobin’s name on your screen. with a small smile you immediately click on the message thinking he was just letting you know he was on his way; instead, you were met with a half assed apology and him letting you know he will be sleeping at the dorms tonight to spend some time with the boys. you roll your eyes at his last sentence. “i’ll make it up for you,” that’s what he always says.

sighing you shake your head as you ask the waiter for the bill. feeling numb, you make your way towards the exit and head home. as you unlock the door, you kick off your shoes and head over to your room to change. you don't know why you're so upset, it's not the first time soobin does something like this and truly it won't be the last.

with tears in eyes, you grab your phone deciding to call soobin. you let out a broken sob when you're met with the answering machine. of course he didn't pick up. silly yn, did you forget he's too busy with his friends right now?

ᥫ᭡ beomgyu - EMBARRASSES YOU IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS

it wasn't that you couldn't handle a joke or two. you love joking around with your boyfriend. you know he doesn't mean the jokes he's saying; but, it's just a whole other story when your boyfriend keeps making jokes about you and in front of his friends.

you swear your ears start ringing when you hear your boyfriend poke fun at yet another one of your habits.

"wait, they actually do do that! look at them," taehyun pointed out causing everyone's attention to shift towards you.

"see, i told you guys!" beomgyu laughs even harder. with a frown on your face, you look up at the boys as they all continue to laugh at beomgyu's comments. standing up, you quickly excuse yourself and make way towards the restroom. fighting back the tears threatening to spill, you quickly open the door and lock it behind you.

"babe?" beomgyu knocks a few minutes after you go in. he had clearly taken notice that you were upset earlier but decided to brush it off, not wanting to cause a scene. "babe, c'mon it was just a joke," beomgyu added letting out a sigh as he jiggled the door handle.

"beomgyu, you always say that," you mumble as you open the door, wanting to talk things out with him. feeling guilty, beomgyu brings a hand up to the back of his neck and shakes his head.

"i'm sorry, I took it too far." beomgyu sighs, bringing his hand down to caress your cheek. "it won't happen again," he gives your lips a small peck before grabbing your hand and leading you back towards the living room.

you try your best to not overthink it yet you can't help but sadly smile at him as your thoughts keep telling you that he will in fact do this again. he's done it multiple times before and always tells you the same thing over and over again. he means it this time, you keep repeating to yourself trying to shake those thoughts away but really, there's no point.

ᥫ᭡ taehyun - NOT COMMUNICATING

you couldn't read taehyun at times and that honestly terrified you. especially when you would try and get him to open up to you and he simply wouldn't budge. you never understood why but to taehyun he just doesn't want to appear vulnerable. he doesn't know how to communicate and express his emotions. so instead of trying to, he simply shuts them out. he's doing you a favor, it's what he reasons to himself.

"taehyun, are you even listening to me?" you let out a sigh watching as your boyfriend just stares at you waiting for you to finish yelling at him. with no facial expression, he simply nods his head at you, silently encouraging you to continue.

"jesus christ," you let out a bitter laugh. "at least pretend to care." you quickly add at the end, wanting a reaction out of him.

"i do care about you," taehyun sternly responds back confused on where this is all coming from.

"taehyun, you disappear for days without letting me know. sometimes you don't even answer my texts-"

"i'm just busy."

"that's the thing, taehyun. how am I supposed to know? you don't tell me anything. would it kill you tell me know in advance?" you whisper out, angrily wiping your tears away.

not knowing how to respond, taehyun just stands there watching you cry. god did he do that? he was left speechless. he never meant to hurt you. he didn't even realize he was hurting you.

opening his mouth to try and comfort you, you shake your head at him. "don't." you say as you grab your keys and walk away, leaving him behind.

"please follow me, please follow me." you silently whisper to yourself as you walk out the door. hesitantly looking back, you don't see him trailing behind you and feel the tears threatening to spill once more.

ᥫ᭡ huening kai - IGNORES YOUR FEELINGS

kai's an amazing boyfriend. you would even go as far as to say he's the best boyfriend you've ever had. he's an absolute saint and you know he always means well but sometimes all you want from your boyfriend is to console you but you never get that.

you remember the first time it happened. you were in your room laying down, fighting back tears. kai was supposed to come over and you couldn't wait, especially since you had a shitty day at work today. not to mention, you had a group project that was due this weekend and your group members have yet to complete their sections. hearing the front door opening, you immediately run out to see your boyfriend.

"kai," you mumble while looking up at him with teary eyes. not knowing what to do, kai awkwardly laughs before showing you the packets of ramen in his hands.

"ramen?" kai asked as he kissed your forehead before making way to the kitchen to make you some food. pouting, you followed behind him waiting for him to pay attention to you. all you wanted was for your boyfriend to ask what was wrong so you could rant to him about it. instead, you were met with your boyfriend cooking ramen and asking you if you saw the new netflix show everyone was raving out about.

you let it slide that time, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. ever since that day, you've noticed that every time you seem upset about a certain situation or you look troubled, he avoids mentioning it. kai thinks of different topics to talk about or simply doesn't acknowledge the situation. in your eyes, he doesn't care enough to hear about the details but in his eyes he believes he's doing you a favor.

fast forward to now, and here you were in your room stressed out about yet another assignment. all you wanted and craved was for kai to tell you everything was going to be alright and to let you cry on his shoulder. deciding to call him, you greet him with a shaky high pitched voice ready to tell him everything. at the sound of your shaky voice, kai's eyes grow wide and he finds himself thinking of different topics to help distract you and make you feel better. you let out a small cry as he continues rambling on about what he did with the boys today. why couldn't he listen to you for just once?

[moamidzyism]

situationship!kai part two

smau + minor angst + fluff ౨ৎ ୨୧ kai x fem!reader, friends with benefits. featuring ryujin from itzy + soobin and taehyun from txt [masterlist • reblogs + feedback appreciated]

part one

taglist: @naomiarai @boba-beom @bunnie-hq @isabellah29 @pluviophile-xxx @dejavu-jun @wolfytae-exe @yutacchin @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @binluvsu @tinyelfperson @nikilvrfvr @wccycc @ryunjin0 @hyunjinvoid @hyunfm @tyunzonlystar @mong-mong-seungmin @jjklvr9 @wayvisyummy @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @snghoonluv @itzzz-yerin @ujisworld @milanco @q5zzn42 @enhaslxt @tenleeluvr @everythingboutkpop @meowiejuns

send a request!! fill out this form to join my taglist!

[sbnslver]

I Know You 𓈊⋆ ˚ Huening Kai

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ bestfriend! Huening Kai x fm!reader

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Summary: You've fallen in love with your best friend and you just can't stand it.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Fluff and minor angst!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Author's note: First TXT fic here 😼

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Masterlist

---

The movie had been playing for at least an hour already. To you there was just a blur of colors and mumbled words. You had no idea what was going on, not when he was so close to you. Unaware of the effect he had on you. You could practically feel the heat radiating off his body. Sitting next to him, you were aware of your own breathing and the fact that your heart was practically beating outside of your chest. Secretly hoping that he was oblivious to the state that you were in. 

“Are you tired? We can shut it off for the night,” a warm voice interrupts your thoughts as you are suddenly brought back to reality. Kai looks at you, worry etched on his face.

“Huh? What–no I’m totally into it,” you adjust yourself on the couch pretending like you’ve been paying attention all along.

“Oh yeah? Then what just happened?” 

“Uhm well you know the killer just killed someone.”

“Wrong. They actually just defeated him.” He turns his whole body so that he’s completely facing you. “Hey..are you feeling okay? You know you can talk to me right?” Kai reached for your hands that had been resting in your lap and slowly rubbed his thumbs over the back of them bringing you some comfort. 

Feeling a jolt of electricity shoot through your body at the feeling of his touch you immediately stiffen and retreat your hands. “Really Kai, I’m okay,” you offer a small smile his way and place your hands back in your lap ignoring the hurt look on his face. 

He looks unconvinced but he tries to move past the nagging feeling that something is wrong. “Well it’s pretty late, do you wanna just stay over? The guys will be home late. I don't think they’ll mind, they never have before.” 

You hesitate. Thinking back to how just watching a movie with him made you feel like you were about to combust, you’re not sure that you can handle sleeping over. Even if in the past you’ve done it dozens of times. Ever since you’ve realized that you’ve liked Huening Kai more than a friend thanks to Beomgyu, you can barely handle being in the same room as him. “Actually I think I’m just going to go back to my place, I appreciate you offering though Kai,” you offer a smile. 

“Oh–okay..” Kai looks down at his hands as you begin to gather your things. “Y/N, are you..sure you’re okay? I didn’t do anything wrong did I?” He looks up at you from his position on the couch, worry clear in his eyes.

You ignored the guilt rising in your chest and swallowed hard. “Of course not. You were right I’m just tired,” You turn away from and continue to gather your things. Kai remains silent. “Okay..well I’m going to go.” The air was awkward around you both not sure of what to say to fix it.

“Oh yeah...well get home safe..Y/N,” Kai is stiff he sits on the couch not moving and not meeting your eyes as you move towards the front door. 

“Goodnight Kai,” you smile at him even though he refuses to look at you. You feel an immense amount of guilt knowing that it’s most likely because of you that he is acting the way that he is. Kai is ridden with worry and concern for you racking his brain for anything that could’ve gone wrong throughout the night.

As you’re walking home you decide that it would just be best if you avoid Kai for a while while you sort out your feelings for him. No longer wanting to put him through unnecessary situations that would make him feel uncomfortable much like one tonight just because you can't get a grip. You begin to recall your conversation with Beomgyu from just last week…

---

“Y/N are you serious? You seriously don’t think that you like Kai?” Beomgyu looked at you like you had grown a second head. You two had been playing a game together while everyone else was out getting food. Beomgyu let out a groan as the words “you lose” display across his screen. “I mean seriously have you seen the way you two are? You’re practically a couple already, it’s sick.”

“Start the game and are you serious? We’ve been friends for 8 years and if I haven’t liked him yet I don’t think I ever will. Platonic friends exist, you know.” You roll your eyes, smashing buttons on the controller eyes not leaving the screen. “Also what’s wrong with the way we are? So we’re a little cuddly. I mean we are close, I don’t see the issue.”

Beomgyu pauses the game and gets up, putting his face right in front of yours. “Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

“We are platonic friends, whatever is going on between you and Kai, that sure as hell is not platonic.” His hands are on your shoulders shaking you slightly. “Think about it, could you cuddle with me on the couch during a movie? Sleep in my bed and wake up tangled in each other's arms? Spend every second of every day with me?”

As you look at Beomgyu it’s almost as if alarms start sounding in your head. You push Beomgyu away and jump up from the couch. “WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?” You exclaimed looking at him in horror. “Beomgyu..I think I like Huening Kai.”

“You think?!”

---

You laugh as you think back now. How could you be so oblivious? The signs were all there. Huening Kai is the only person you wanted to see everyday. He’s the one you seek out to be with in any social situation. Pretending to be asleep when you stay over just so you can be in his arms even if it’s for a second longer. Tracing his eyelashes and admiring how beautiful he looks when he’s asleep. Lingering looks at his lips just wondering what they would feel like against yours…

As you unlock your front door your phone buzzes in your pocket revealing a text from Huening Kai. 

Huening - Let me know when you’re home >3<

God you love him. How could you not when he’s so unapologetically him.

---

You wake up the next day feeling more exhausted than when you went to sleep. You spent the entire night tossing and turning the only thing or person occupying your mind was Kai.

You reach for your phone seeing you’ve received another text from the man of the hour.

Huening - Want to go to this new cafe I found? I’ll buy 🙂‍↕️

You stare at the text hovering over the keyboard before shutting your phone off and tossing it aside. You couldn’t. Not until you’re able to be yourself around him and not some nervous wreck.

Instead of dwelling on this any longer you decide to throw yourself into work that you’ve been letting pile up. You put on headphones and blast music allowing time to escape you as you sit in front of your laptop working away. 

---

You have no idea how long it’s been since you’ve started working but you notice the sun is going down. You stretch your arms above your head and rub your eyes. You close your laptop and move to grab your phone which you haven’t looked at since this morning. Expecting nothing you're surprised to see that your phone has been blowing up since this morning with not only texts and calls from Huening Kai but also texts from the rest of the boys.

Huening - Hellooo? Did you want to go? :(

Huening - Y/N?

Huening - Are you mad? Please tell me what I did? 

Huening - y/n? :(

He had called you a total of 10 times. Guilt started to eat away at you. You definitely weren’t expecting this when you decided not to text back and this was certainly not what you wanted. Continuing to go through your missed messages you read the ones from the boys.

Beomgyu - Hey did Kai do something?

Beomgyu - You better text him back dude cuz he’s really freaking out

Soobin - Hey Y/N is everything okay between you and Kai?

Yeonjun - Please answer Kai he won’t stop whining 😭

Taehyun - Is everything alright with you?

Without thinking you grab your shoes, put them on and run out your front door towards Kai’s house. It didn’t matter how late it was or how much of a mess you look like, you couldn’t bear the thought  of him being upset because you decided to be selfish. You arrive at his house knocking incessantly until someone answered. It was Yeonjun. 

“Y/N? Are you okay? Did you run here? You’re all sweaty.”

You ignore his questions. “Where's Kai?” 

Yeonjun widens his eyes at your worried tone. “He’s in his room. Last he told us he said he was going to bed. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah I just...need to talk to him.” You move past the boys in the living room practically running to Kai’s room not paying any attention to the bewildered looks from the boys.

“I need to see this,” Beomgyu laughs slowly following behind you peeking from around the corner. “You’re all about to owe me 20 bucks.”

You raise your hand to knock on his door hesitating slightly. You swallow and softly knock. 

“I said I wasn’t hungry Taehyun, I’m going to sleep” His tone sounded groggy and soft not his usual cheery and excited tone that you’ve grown to love. 

“Kai? It’s me..can I come in?” You hear shuffling from the other side of the door and then slowly the door knob turns revealing a disheveled Huening Kai. He looks at you for just a second before engulfing you in his arms. His head instinctively tucking itself in the crook of your neck breathing in your scent. Your arms stay at your side, your body going into overload at the sudden intimacy. He’s warm and smells like he always does. Your eyes close and you take in the closeness and warmth he is bringing.

“Wait.” Your eyes shoot open and you push him away keeping him at arm's length. “Kai I–”

“Y/N?” You look up at him to see his face full of hurt. He’s confused and hurt and it’s all your fault. “I-I’m sorry I didn’t mean–”

“No!” He jumps at your sudden outburst. “Sorry it’s not you…it’s me.” You look down at your feet unable to meet his gaze.

“Please just talk to me…I can’t stand this.” He puts his hands on your cheeks forcing you to look at him. “I tried to ignore it, I really did but I know you and I know when something’s wrong. You’ve been pulling away from me all week..why?” He’s looking in your eyes almost as if he’ll find the answer that he’s been looking for. You look at him and see all his hurt and pain he's feeling.

“Kai I just–” You look into his eyes. “I don’t think I can say it.” You close your eyes, fighting back the tears that are threatening to fall. “I don’t want to lose you.” 

“You can tell me…anything you know this.” You feel his thumbs wipe away stray tears that have fallen. “You’ll never lose me…I’m yours…forever.” You open your eyes to see him still looking at you with that same intensity. 

You couldn’t do it. You just had to know…you crash your lips against his losing the internal battle you’ve been fighting you finally gave in. Your lips move against his. His lips soft and warm, everything you dreamed they would be. Realization slowly starts to seep in you also notice that he’s not kissing you back. You pull away and taking in his wide eyed gaze. 

“Kai I’m–” You’re mortified. “I’m so sorry but I just…couldn’t help myself.” You look at him. “You’re all I think about day in and day out. I can’t pretend that everything between us is completely platonic, not when you make me feel so many things.” You grab his cheeks in between your hands forcing him to stay by your side. Preventing him from escaping. “I am so completely in love with you.” You look at his eyes hoping and waiting for him to say something,  anything. “Please…just say something.” You beg. With each passing second regret starts to fill you. 

You begin to remove your hands from his face when Kai lurches forward crashing his lips on your own. You almost fall backwards, his arms wrapping around your waist preventing you from doing so. Almost immediately your eyes flutter shut and you’re kissing him back. Lips intertwining with one another breath intermingling. His hands are sliding up your shirt gripping onto your waist tightly afraid you may disappear. Your hands move to wrap around his neck tangling your fingers in his hair tugging slightly. 

You feel yourself being led backwards. Not breaking the kiss Kai lays you down on his bed, him on top continuing to kiss you, slighting biting down on your lips signaling you to open your mouth as his tongue slides in meeting yours. You let out a soft sigh as you enjoy the warmth spreading throughout your body feeling like you're on fire. Kai’s movements started to get hungrier hands sliding higher under your shirt, light touches sending shivers down your spine.

Needing to get some air you pull apart a small laugh leaving your lips as you slowly flutter your eyes open to see Huening Kai with pink tinted cheeks and heavy breaths on top of you. “I’ve waited so long for a hint or anything from you. You have no idea how much I love you. How long I've been waiting to just kiss you.” He says barely above a whisper, his breath touching your face as he makes his confession.

“I love you too, Kai.” He smiles and slowly lowers his head wishing to meet your lips again.

“HAH! I told you. You all owe me.” You and Kai sit upright at the sound of Beomgyu’s voice bumping heads. You rub your head muttering an “ow” 

“You guys bet on us?” You’re mortified.

“It was only a matter of time.” They all agree. 

You look at Huening Kai expecting him to be annoyed but he’s looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky. He kisses the top of your head. The boys are expressing their joy and being themselves wishing you congratulations. You look at Kai and see him mouth “I love you.” You smile and cuddle into his side watching as the boys continue to bicker about the bet. You and Kai settle into each other like you're the only one's in the room.

---

[jjunieworld]

── a bed in your shape ⋆ 𓈒 ⊹ 🖼️ ˊ𓂃

read part two here ⇢ a life in your eyes ☆

pairing: huening kai x gn!reader

genre: angst, fluffy, childhood bestfriends to ???, slice of life, blonde!kai, kai is kinda an asshole (i'm sorry)

synopsis: for as long as you could remember, you’ve been in love with your bestfriend kai. the only problem is, he never loved you back. yet, you can’t stop imagining your life with him.

word count: 1.4k┊part two┊masterlist

author's note: happy easter to all those who celebrate! this drabble was heavily inspired by the song strawberry blond by mitski!! all feedback is appreciated and please reblog instead of just liking! yes, i know i use ‘blonde’ instead of ‘blond’… i just like the way the ‘e’ looks better lmaoo.. txt comeback tomorrow and i’m so excited!!! i hope you enjoyed this little drabble!! ♡

you knew what you were doing was going to lead to heartbreak, but at the moment you couldn’t care less. you and kai had planned a picnic in a nice field that the two of you had been visiting since you randomly found it as kids.

at the moment, you were listening to kai talk about this girl that he’s been going on about for months now. the wind was flowing smoothly over your skin from the open window, the spring breeze cooling you off. it was nearing summer now. “we have a date later today that i’m actually really nervous about,” kai spoke, his eyes briefly glancing at yours from the road. “i really really like her, y/n.”

you turned fully from the window to him. despite your heart fluttering at your name on his lips, you gave him a small grin as you said nothing. kai had pulled up to the field, which had saved you from answering anyway.

looking down to your hands in your lap as he parked, you tried to ignore the crushing weight of your heart. of course it wasn’t you he liked—how could you be so naive? this wasn’t some sort of fairytale. you still remember vividly overhearing kai’s conversation at the surprise birthday party you and your mutual friends had threw for him. “don’t be ridiculous,” he had said.

“i could never see them that way.”

you got out the car, looking over to see the top of kai’s blonde hair kiss the sunlight and turn golden. a smile formed on your face. as long as you had kai, that’s all that mattered to you. you didn’t need anything else—not this town, not this road, not this field. not even the sunshine, you’d much rather be clouded in darkness. just him.

grabbing the picnic basket and the blanket, you followed kai out to the field. the field was quite beautiful, the lush green grass was spread across the rolling hills with tiny multicolored flowers dotted about. it looked straight out of a painting that claude monet would’ve painted, and it belonged solely to the two of you.

jogging a little to catch up with kai’s long legs, a giggle slipped from your lips. kai looked at you with a small smile playing on his mouth, “what?” another giggle escaped you as he dodged out of the way of a bee, shaking his arm furiously as the bee tried to land onto his arm after. “they must think you’re a flower,” you replied.

you wouldn’t doubt it, he looked like a sunflower if you’ve ever seen one. blonde hair like honey and rosy cheeks as sweet as pie. kai chuckled, “why are they only going after me then? what about you?” he waved his hand in the air at you to insinuate you’re just as much of a flower as him. you shrugged, “must not be shining as brightly as you are.”

kai tilted his head at you and shook his head. he then wrapped an arm around your shoulder as you both continued your way to your spot in the field. “come on now, don’t say that! you shine just as bright as me, if not more. if anything, we shine brighter together!” you couldn’t disagree with that.

you laid the blanket out onto the grass and kicked your sandals off so you were barefoot, kai doing the same. you sat down onto the blanket and began taking out the wrapped food the two of you had prepared. the wind picked up just as kai went to lie down, flicking the blanket up. instead of laying on top of the blanket, he was now laying fully in the grass. either kai didn’t notice, or he didn’t care about the change.

“the clouds are so beautiful,” he breathed, tucking his arms behind his head. you placed the remaining food onto the blanket and scooted over slightly so you could lay down next to him. pointing, you grinned as you tried to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks, “look, that one looks like a duck!”

kai looked over to you and it made you realize how close the to of you were to each other. “a duck?” he asked incredulously, “that’s clearly a boat!” you returned his gaze with raised eyebrows. “a boat? maybe you should get a new prescription…” you shot back. kai playfully nudged you, causing the both of you to laugh.

you sat up and reached for the muffins you had bought. as you took a bite out of it, savoring the sweet flavor, kai spoke up. you turned to see that he was sitting up now, unwrapping a sandwich as he looked over the field. “i think she’ll really like it here,” he stated before taking a bite from the now unwrapped sandwich in his hand. raising an eyebrow, you lowered the half eaten muffin, “what do you mean? you’re bringing her here?”

“yeah, it’s breathtaking here,” kai shrugged as if what he just stated meant nothing. “she said she wanted something quiet but meaningful and this is absolutely perfect.” you abandoned your muffin in the empty space where it once sat in the container. he had your full attention now.

“but this is our spot,” you spoke slowly. it was as if you were trying to convince yourself that what you just heard come out his mouth somehow got twisted and you were trying to set the record straight. kai just nodded, adding nothing. so you did. “our spot—since we were kids, kai.”

kai nodded once more. “i know, y/n. what’s the issue here? it’s a field. we can find another field if you want to,” he furrowed his eyebrows at you and anger started to rise in you at the confusion in his voice. why didn’t he get it? even if you didn’t have any feelings for him, this was still your spot. your field—just the two of you. not the two of you and some girl.

“it’s not about finding another field. this field is suppose to be sacred—just for the two of us—and you want to bring some girl to our spot?” you practically seethed. desperately, you tried to control your tone, but the anger that had seeped through refused to be hidden. kai sat up straight and you knew you had made a mistake.

“it’s not just ‘some girl,’” kai said defensively. “she’s my girlfriend, and i can take her wherever i want to—even here. it’s just a stupid fucking field. it’s not even that special.” you opened your mouth to retort but all you could get out your mouth was a choked, “g-girlfriend?”

kai rolled his eyes at you, not hearing what you said, “save it, y/n. this is ridiculous.” he stood up from his spot in the grass and grabbed his shoes. kai began walking the path back to his car barefoot and you quickly stood to your feet. “you’re leaving me here? are you fucking serious right now, kai?” you shouted after him. kai continued, clearly ignoring you.

you watched as he got to his car and roughly flung the driver’s side door open. watched as he yanked his shoes back on and watched as he ripped out of the small gravel road and drove furiously away from you.

slumping to your knees, you let out a deep sigh. it looks like you’re walking home. you looked over to the spot in the grass where kai was just moments before. it was as if he didn’t even leave. the grass was still indented in the shape of him. your heart broke and your eyes watered as you reached over to softly touch the flattened grass.

packing up the food and the blanket, you tried your absolute hardest not to break completely. you knew this would all lead to heartbreak, and still—still you continued. foolish. you should’ve known better, maybe then all of this could have been avoided.

breathing out another sigh and looking over the field one last time, you began the walk back home. you were sure this was the last time you’ll ever be in this field again.

© jjunieworld - all rights reserved. please do not repost on any social media sites, translate, or modify any of my works.

permanent taglist: @jjunberry @gothgyuu @spooksh0wbabe @beargyuuzz @kittyhyuka @dani-is-tired @riaawr @nxzz-skz @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @rapmonie2047

part two┊masterlist┊request rules

[gyumibear]

🎧 txt as — more down bad texts!

part two of txt as various messages trying to get with you! | not requested! | part three

warnings — swearing, suggestive, mentions of jumping off a bridge, seriously unserious messages.

genre — crack, smau

[note] — i have sent the please please message before. credits to pinterest again... ignore the contact names again…

ᰔ yeonjun

ᰔ soobin

ᰔ beomgyu

ᰔ hueningkai

ᰔ taehyun

© GYUMIBEAR. do not repost, modify or translate my work onto other social media sites.  

[mimikittysblog]

TXT when Someone Badmouths You

Pairing: OT5! TXT x Fem! Reader

Genre: Slight angst, fluff. Hurt to comfort.

Synopsis: How the boys would react when they hear and see someone badmouthing you, their lovely girlfriend.

Warnings: Some jerks bullying you for different reasons. Implied chubby reader for Yeonjun and Soobin, and somewhat body shaming for theirs too. I think that’s it? Please let me know if I missed anything.

A/N: Guess who made this instead of their thesis??? Meeeeeee! Anyways hope you guys enjoyed this, especially cause I made it on the fly. Also got a bit carried away with beomgyus lol

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

Yeonjun

Yeonjun decided to go out to take you shopping being the fashonistas you two are. While you’ve always loved clothes and fashion, it was always a bit of a struggle to find your size here in Korea, no actually it was a pretty big struggle, but Yeonjun never minded.

He just wanted to spend time with you and spoil you with whatever you wanted. If the store didnt have your size he’d just look for it online or actually have it custom made. Just for you. Whatever you wanted, its yours in less than a week. You were always grateful for that.

However it still bothered you a bit. It was also always quite embarrassing when you have to walk out of the dressing room to tell him the biggest size didnt fit you. It also doesn’t help when the store clerks are not so subtly or quietly poking fun at you.

“I don’t know why she even tries”

“I know right? Why is he even with her?? Like he clearly takes care of himself. Why can’t she do the same?”

“He deserves so much better.”

Yeonjun obviously heard it too, he isn’t deaf, nor blind cause he sees the looks they give you. He especially sees the small frown that you’re trying so desperately to hide.

“Hmm MY pretty baby” he says as he holds your cheek. “This store is not inclusive huh? How about we just leave and find a better store that values you more, hmm?”

“No yeonjun it’s ju-“

“Hush.” He cuts you off. “This store is clearly not a good one. Cause every good store should always carry beautiful people’s sizes which includes you and they must have RESPECTFUL. Staff too. Don’t you think so pretty baby?” He says as he leans into you.

“I-I guess..?” You say shyly, trying to ignore the harsh glares you’re getting.

“Well thats what I think baby. Come on! Lets find a better store and never come back here, okay beautiful?” He asks as he pats your head.

“Okay” you smile at him.

Before you two leave though, he pulls you in even closer and gives you such a passionate kiss, completely reassuring that he finds you so gorgeous and he doesn’t care what people say about you.

And without your knowledge he also opens his eyes to make eye contact and practically glare at the rude staff that was standing behind you. Seeing their reaction also causes him to smirk into the kiss.

He then pulls away and happily takes you away from that store. Constantly holding you close, to reassure you that he loves your body just the way it is, and he could never be ashamed of you, especially with how firmly and proudly he’s holding on to you.

“Thank you baby” you say as you snuggle into him.

“No one messes with my pretty baby. Remember that.” He said with his charming smirk.

Soobin

You literally only told him you think the weather feels perfect today, and he suddenly already had a picnic basket packed. So here you are now, at the park having a nice picnic with your lovely boyfriend. While he did pack some food from home, you two also went to your local bakery to pick up some of the most delicious bread and pastries ever. You kind of went overboard with how much you bought but you two wanted to have fun and enjoy your day with great food, if you still had some left you can easily bring them home. So it didn’t matter to the both of you.

That is until another couple who were also having a picnic nearby decided to stare at you and the large amount of food you two had. They were far enough to where you could barely hear what theyre saying, but unfortunately you could still hear. Even if you couldn’t the judgmental looks they gave you, and only you, said it all.

“Can you believe how much she’s eating?”

“Mhm. It’s just all pure carbs and sugar too.”

“Could she be anymore unhealthy? She’s eating so fast too.”

You were trying so hard to ignore it and were just about to take another bite of the croissant you got until you heard they made another comment and even laughed at you. You really did try so hard to ignore it and tried to take that bite but it just felt so humiliating. So you bit your lip and slowly put the croissant down. Soobin on the other hand quickly took the croissant again and put it back up to your mouth.

“Aaah!” He said smiling

“Oh.. Soobin I’m ful-“

“Don’t make me shove this in your mouth princess” he cut you off with another cheeky smile.

“Soobin..”

God the look in your eyes was so heartbreaking to him.

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen okay? We also came here to have fun and eat well. I want you to eat well beautiful, and I also want you to have the happiest tummy ever. Please don’t let anyone stop you. Besides, good food makes you happy. And I also want you happy. So please.. Aaaah?” He said, staring straight into your eyes with the purest look ever.

How could you ever deny that? So with a smile you took the bite you did so desperately wanted. With that it made his smile even bigger. He then also took a bite. Since then he continues to feed you, showering you with encouragement and also continues to eat with you too to make you not feel alone. You could never feel alone with him, but he wanted to make sure you knew that.

“Thank you my love.”

“Of course darling”

By the end you were so incredibly happy and so was your tummy.

Beomgyu

It’s been a while since you had a date with your boyfriend due to your busy schedules. So when said schedules finally calmed down, you two were very excited to get to finally meet up at your favorite cafe and catch up. Unfortunately you were running a bit late so Beomgyu was already sitting and sipping at his coffee when you arrived. You quickly ordered before sitting down across from him.

“Beomieee! Oh I’m sorry!” You apologized

“It’s okay sweetheart, you’re here now and thats all that matters.” He said with his usual cheeky smile on his face.

The cafe was quite packed, so it was pretty noisy but you two were able to drown everything out with your conversations. You both missed each other very much. Due to the busy cafe it also took a while for your order to get done. By the time it was you and beomgyu decided to continue your date at a nearby park and have a nice walk. He had to use the bathroom first though, and you had to get your drink. So thats what you two did.

Unfortunately for you though, just after you got your drink, you accidentally slipped and caused your coffee to spill a little bit onto the shoes of a nearby customer.

“Oh my goodness I’m so sorry!! I didn’t mean to-“

“Are you fucking kidding me?!?! You bitch!!! These are brand new and now theyre ruined!”

“I didn’t mean to! I’ll pay to have them cle-“

“God you’re so fucking stupid! Didn’t you hear me they’re ruined! How can someone be so clumsy?! There wasn’t even anything there!! Fucki-“

“Oh sweetheart whats going on- WOOOOOAAHHHHH!!!” Beomgyu suddenly showed up out of nowhere and then (purposely and quite dramatically) fell and also spilled his coffee on this customer, though this time it spilled on the rest of their outfit too.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” They yelled and you could only cover your mouth in shock.

“Dang these floors are so slippery! don’t you think?? Everyone be careful okay!!” He chuckled as he still stayed there on the floor.

“Beomgyu are you okay??” You asked as you helped him up.

“Are you?” He asked concerned as he held onto you softly.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!? You just ruined my outfit!!!” This customer bellowed before you even had the chance to answer him.

“And you yelled at my lovely girlfriend for a simple accident. Listen, you have every right to be upset. it’s understandable. Hell she would’ve been upset if you did the same to her. However you had NO. Right to yell at her and talk to her the way you just did. She said she was sorry yet you still found it necessary to berate her in front of everyone. So yeah. I find it necessary to have the rest of your tacky outfit ruined. Even though what I did was an accident too.” He said with a smirk, clearly showing everyone who was still watching, that it was in fact NOT an accident.

“But yknow what? Here.” He explained before opening his wallet and throwing a good couple of bills at them. “Take this to go get those cleaned, or yknow, get better clothes that not only look better but wouldn’t be ruined by simple coffee. Come on my sweet.” He continued as he lead you to the door of the cafe.

And with that the both of you left.

“You okay darling?”

“Yea.. but you shouldn’t have done that beomie” you pouted at him. “I mean thank you! But ruining their outfit was-“

“Sorry to say sweetheart but I couldn’t care less about their outfit. Whoever is mean to my girl especially over something so trivial deserved that kind of treatment okay? I’ll always stick up for you my sweet. Never forget that. Plus, it waaaaas an accident” he said with his cheeky smile again. While you still felt a little bad, you could only chuckle and roll your eyes at this silly boy you call your lovely boyfriend.

“Thank you once again my prince” You said after giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek.

“For whaaat? It was an accident!”

“Oh stop it!!” You laugh

“You’re welcome my sweet”

Taehyun

You were never the biggest fan of the gym, however you always note that it’s not that bad. It gets you healthier when you need to feel like it, gets you to get out of the house a bit more and best of all, you get to spend time with your gym rat of a boyfriend. Who you love to look at when he’s all sweaty.

You don’t come as often as he does, you only join him like about twice a week sometimes just once. Sometimes it’s even once a month but you still go occasionally. Just to fill in some gaps in your schedule. Furthermore because you’re not the biggest fan of the gym, you do usually only very light workouts, again just to get your heart pumping and muscles moving, and usually people don’t have an issue with that. You’re healthy and thats all that matters.

Yet for some reason some people decided to be very judgy today. Typically you always have your music playing to focus on yourself, but while you were taking a break and making light convo with your boyfriend, your ears couldn’t help but pick up the chatter of nearby gym goers that can’t mind their own business.

“She barely did anything here and she’s talking about leaving already?”

“And she wanted to get fried chicken too like dang that bare minimum of a workout is really gonna go to waste huh?”

“Why is she even here?”

Taehyun who was putting on his hand wraps to have his boxing training session also couldn’t help but hear and lets say he wasn’t pleased. You took notice of that and simply patted his shoulders.

“It’s fine baby” You smiled at him.

“They shouldn’t be saying that.” He grumbled

“Hey its whatever..” You said trying to reassure him, but also yourself. ‘Cause to be honest, you couldn’t help but start to feel maybe you should workout a bit harder.

“No. Here baby put these on.” He said as he suddenly gave you some hand wraps too.

“Tyunnie, it-“

“No come one, lets have some fun” he cut you off with a smirk.

And how could you say no to that?

While you and Taehyun didn’t share your love of workouts or gym equipments, what you did share was your love for martial arts, specifically boxing. While Taehyun mainly did it for its physical benefits, yours was its mental benefits. It was kinda fun throwing punches and showing your strength that way, a good way to get all your anger and frustrations out too.

Plus when you first started doing it you realized you kinda had a knack for it too. So with Taehyun’s encouragement, and some slight anger towards those comments, you put on your gloves and started sparing with him. And let’s just say your punches and kicks were LOUD. People from across the room could hear and kinda feel it.

But mainly you and Taehyun just had fun, he constantly reassured you that you were doing a good job, you still had it, and he’s happy you’re here with him. Once you two were done, even though you were exhausted you two became a giggly mess. You quickly packed up and left to go home and still order some nice delicious fried chicken.

“Thank you baby” You said as you fed him some chicken.

“No worries my strong princess” He chuckled.

Hueningkai

You and your boyfriend, Hueningkai, had many common interests, from movies to food, one of the cuter interests you two shared are plushies. You both just LOVE plushies. How fluffy they can be, how soft and squishy they are, their cuteness. Like whats not to love really? The amount of plushies you share is quite concerning but hey! They make you both happy!

Today you decided to go out to see a new movie that came out, but you still had some time before the movie started so you decided to look around the mall first. You had no destination in mind, just wanted to walk and talk with your boyfriend before, hopefully, enjoying this new movie.

However as you continued your stroll you came across a new store that had just opened and was filled to the brim with the cutest teddy bears you’ve ever seen, and they came in every size you can think of. From teeeeny tiny to massive teddy bears that fills the corner of the room. So without much thought and a huge gasp you dragged hueningkai inside to check it out.

Quite the understatement to say you were having a blast checking out all the adorable teddy bears they had. They even had clothes for these bears. However excited you were, you didn’t actually have the intention to buy any, but Hueningkai being the angel he is offered to get you one.

“Are you sure?”

“Oh come on its like you don’t know me. Come on I’ll get one for myself. Our teddy bears can be dating too!” He said with his angelic smile.

Now thats an offer you couldn’t refuse!

So you two picked out your teddy bears and dressed them in matching outfits. You then left making your way to the movie theater, as the movie would be starting soon, but you couldn’t stop giggling and hugging your bear. It was just so cute and fluffy. You still had your bear in your arms as you waited in line to get your snacks, when suddenly the people behind you started whispering.

“What a fricken weirdo.”

“I know right? What is she? 5??”

“Exactly! Like who the hell would willingly carry that around?”

“Why would you still even want one at her age?”

Then it was followed by snickers. It made you gulp and as much as you hate to admit it, embarrassed. You were never ashamed of your love for plushies but hearing that just isn’t nice. You started to slowly try to put your plushie back into the bag the store gave you, when Hueningkai gave your hand a firm squeeze.

“Oh look honey, it’s our turn. So what do you two want?

“I.. huh? Us two?” You looked at him confused.

“Yeah! You and this cutiepie! And what should I get him too?” Hueningkai explained as he pinched your cheek, the teddys nose and then pulled out his own too.

“O-oh!” You giggled before answering what you wanted, and just some gummies for the plushies.

“What a great idea!” He added before ordering, then carrying the snacks for you, and sweetly asking you to carry his teddy for him.

As you two made your way to your designated theater you did catch the judging eyes of the people behind you.

“You didn’t have to do that you know hyuka” You pouted.

“Do what?” He asked with a tilt of his head.

“You know.. now those people think you’re a weirdo too”

“Why should we care? I don’t feel like a weirdo for liking cute soft things, and neither should you honey. These things make us happy! I don’t think we’re weird for that, and hey if it is, lets be weirdos together hmm?” He said, again with that angelic smile and a cute raised eyebrow. And you know, he’s right.

“You’re right, these cuties do make us happy.”

“Mmmmhm! So lets go! The movie is about to start!”

“Okay! Oh! And thank you hyuka”

“Anything for my cutie”

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

© mimikittysblog 2024

[cheeseceli]

The Only Good Thing

Pairing: idol Hueningkai × Gn!reader

Genre: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, fic (1k words)

Prompt: “aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell”

Warnings: scenes of overworking, brief panic attack, mentions of insecurities

A/n: because my boy deserves better | daily click

Did I ever tell you I'm not doing well?

Hueningkai should probably calm down. Sweating palms, accelerated heartbeat and a darkened vision isn't exactly the best state he has ever been in. He feels like he's losing it lately.

The pressure of the media, the hatred comments coming from all places at once and the high expectations make his life a living hell. For God's sake, even the compliments feel like daggers. Everything feels backhanded and it's tiring. It's exhausting and he has no idea of how long he can take that for.

But when he sees his members get up and continue practice, he feels a little bit dumbfounded. They suffer that too, don't they? Why do they look okay? Hueningkai feels like he will break if he does as much as getting up, so how are the members so... well?

Is he exaggerating his situation? Maybe that's why the comments say he's burdening the group?

He gets up slowly and trying his best to just not burst into tears. He needs to take it. He needs to keep going.

So he does.

Oh I try, I try, I try, but it takes over my life

Maybe he's doing too much now.

It's been five hours since practice ended. Well, technically. It's been five hours since the rest of the boys left. But for hueningkai, this is just the start of the night.

He feels like he needs to do more. Everyone seems to agree on this, at least. On the fact that he is not enough. He truly doesn't want to leave the group - it's his home, his family and his dream. So the only possible outcome is for him to become worthy of it. So he will try as much as he can, even more than that.

And if it consumes him, well, it's a price to pay, isn't it?

His vision was still dark. He couldn't see properly, so that's probably the reason why he was so lost. Almost losing himself.

He also didn't notice how his cell phone was exploding with notifications. His members asking why he was taking so long to come back to the dorm and you asking where he was.

The gates to get out of hell were open, but he couldn't see amidst his hazy mind.

Dear angel;

It was around 2am when he heard the door to the practice room open and then Kai finally stopped his repeated movements. Standing with all your glory, even with a tired look into your face, you entered the room. If it wasn't for the timing, he could've sworn the sun had just reached its highest point on sky.

"Y/n? What are you doing here?"

"The boys called me a few times. All of them. They were worried because you didn't go home, so they thought you could be with me."

That would've been a way better idea, if he's being honest. It would've gave him the opportunity to sleep peacefully for at least a night before having to face the horrors of life in the morning. But he couldn't have this luxury, could he now?

"I had to practice a bit more. I told them that."

"Well, 'a bit more' is usually just an hour. It's not seven hours after the practice had ended. It's damn late now, Kai."

He looked out of the window. It was very dark outside.

"Why did you come here at this time? It's pitch black outside, something could've happened."

"A friend of mine lent me his car. That's how I came and that's how we'll be going back home."

"I still need to-"

"You need to sleep, Kai. To rest. Working until your bones fall off won't be of any help. Besides, Yeonjun told me you were doing just fine in the practice, why are you training so hard?"

"Because 'just fine' isn't enough" you heard his voice break at that. Everything in him was showing signs of an upcoming collapse. You had no idea of how long he'd be able to take in like that "I need to do better."

He looked at the floor, trying to breathe calmly. He was so focused on dancing before that he didn't feel anything, but now his body was so tired he felt like his knees would give up anytime soon. He already feels like he disappointed so many people, he can't disappoint you. Especially not you.

Even when looking down, he heard your footsteps get closer to him until he felt your hands on his cheeks. His body was extremely hot out of all that practice. The urgency of needing him to rest was just growing by the minute.

"Kai" he still didn't look at you. You knew he felt too ashamed to do so "Kai, please. You are such a good artist. A great one. You put your entire soul into your work and it's beautiful to see. Don't feel like you have to change that."

"I know some people who would disagree."

"I can guarantee you that those people have never seen a video of yours. They had never heard you sing. They are here only to hate because that's the only thing they know how to do. If they did pay attention to anything you ever did, they would fall in love with you. Just like your fans did. Like the boys and I did."

At this point, he couldn't take it anymore. Slowly, Kai gave up to your touch and rested his head on your shoulder, not caring anymore if he was crying or not.

"Let's go home, okay?"

You just felt his head nod in the crook of his neck. He felt that he was still lost in that hell of a maze, but at least now there was an angel willing to guide him through the exit. And God, how he wished he could get out soon enough and just be with you and your light.

Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?

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Masterlist | you'll probably like: Proud

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Credits for images 1 2 and 3 | Dividers by @thecutestgrotto