#However fans have a much bigger influence on how I enjoy an artist than one would think

[http-numbah5]

Turkish Dizi girlies where do you watch your stuff for free without signing up?

[grumpy-composer]

What Can We Do About Spotify’s New Payment Policy?

Spotify’s recent announcement has made many small artists mad. (See this post where I’m mad about it for more information as to why or shoot me a message if you have specific questions!)

Here are the things to do in case you don’t want to read my long explanations:

1.) Reach out to your favorite small and large creators.

2.) Look into other streaming platforms.

3.) Ask Companies for Statements and Send Feedback.

4.) Contact News Organizations

5.) Reblog and Share Your Experiences Online

I’ve provided more detail on each step under the cut. Feel free to add to this list, too!

1.) Reach out to your favorite small and large creators!

Not a lot of people are talking about this, one way to fix that is to bring it up, especially to those who have platforms. Podcasters, YouTubers, and especially musical artists. Large artists on Spotify have the clout to make a difference, but getting influencers to spread the word will be helpful as Spotify desperately wants to control how this change is perceived. (They literally framed their policy as giving millions to “new and emerging artists”, though if you read the policy you’ll see that’s not the case.)

Also send your favorite small artist a kind message about their music as many are feeling invalidated by this decision.

If you’re an artist: Politely ask artists you look up to for advice or opinions, express your distress if appropriate. 

If you’re a fan: Politely express your concerns to larger artists and ask if they have an opinion. Also look for ways to help support small creators you enjoy. Not everyone can afford merch or to buy a song outright, but even a message can help keep us motivated.

2.) Look into other streaming platforms. Both artists and consumers:

It’s no secret that streaming platforms pay artists almost nothing per stream, but artists are entitled to their money no matter how little. There are plenty of other streaming sites so if you currently pay to use Spotify, now may be a good time to consider other options before the policy goes into effect in 2024. 

Obviously Apple Music, Amazon Music, and Youtube Music are all options if you’re looking to pay for a new service that’s popular and has a similar catalog/features to Spotify. However Youtube videos on an artists official channel will also help support and there are plenty of other options like Tidal or Sound Cloud. 

Try to see how these companies compare in price and artist payout to make a decision that best fits you.

Also! Streaming Options I Just Learned About:

Resonate is a site that offers a “Pay2Own” model. Essentially, you only pay when you listen, doubling the cost each time, and once you’ve listened to a song enough to have paid about $1.40 it’s yours forever and you don’t have to pay more. And most of that money goes straight to the artist as Resonate is a CoOp.

SonStream is more direct and has you paying about $0.03 per song. Straightforward. If you don’t listen, you don’t pay. Meaning you can adjust how much you spend if needed each month rather than paying a regular subscription. They just put out Android and iOS apps and it’s free to use, meaning you only pay for what/ how much you listen to. If you want to more directly support an artist, see if they’re on there.

For consumers and fans: There are a lot of options for gaining access to music while still supporting artists, go forth and discover what's right for you!

For artists: See what sites will be best for you, if your distributor doesn't distribute to a site you think is good for you, see if you can upload it yourself.

3.) Ask companies for statements and send in your feedback.

Now is an excellent time to attempt to contact Spotify, Distributors, Labels, and other involved companies for statements about this issue. The more they have to talk about it, the bigger deal it will be. Contact their competitors, ask for their statements. Ideally, they’ll be forced to release public statements and add to the spread of news.

Additionally if their shareholders get upset, Spotify will sweat even more. If you’re a shareholder or know one, please open up the conversation.

Now is also an excellent time to tell Spotify that you don’t like this choice as a consumer, then come back in a week and do it again. Keep the pressure on. You give them money to access music while supporting artists. If the artists you choose to listen to aren’t compensated, why give them your money?

Contact other services as well. If you’re a customer for another service, emphasize to them how you dislike Spotify’s decision and want to ensure they keep paying their artists.

If you are an artist: Contact your distributor or label. Tell them your concerns and ask how they are going to help you.

If you are a consumer: Figure out how to give feedback and send it. Try multiple avenues. Always be polite, but firm.

4.) Contact News Organizations

Again, Spotify really wants to control the narrative. We should not let them. Send a tip to your local newspapers or news stations. Contact major news stations. Tweet at them.

If you’re a consumer/ fan: Contact stations and politely ask if they have any intentions to cover this story. Explain how you’re disappointed that other stations aren’t covering it. If someone in your local area has covered it, offer praise (or if it was covered poorly, critique) and ask if they plan to follow up. Point to any public statements from artists or companies.

If you’re an artist: If you are comfortable, try reaching out as above and offer to interview with them (especially if it’s for a local story). It’s good for your business as you can get in front of people, and show how this is affecting artists in your community. If you’re not comfortable with that, you could also release a public statement on social media and point the news in that direction as a source.

5.) Reblog and Share Your Experiences Online

I’ve seen a lot of people say that only fake artists (AI and bots) will be affected by this. If you are a small creator and are comfortable/ safe doing so, share how this policy will affect you. It will help us be seen and help fight that argument that no "real" musicians are being hurt.

And if you’re comfortable, reblog this post or talk about these changes on your socials. Share Spotify’s Statement and point out the flaws in their argument. 

Not everyone comes to Tumblr for this sort of thing, I totally get that. Not everyone wants to be faced with cold reality on their fun app and you are not obligated to engage in cold reality on Tumblr. That’s not what many use Tumblr for, but I find it strange that something like this isn’t being talked about more on this platform. Kind of seems like something Tumblr users would care about, so let’s spread the word and talk about it.

And that’s what I have. Look, some of the things in their update are good. Trying to stop AI shenanigans and people gaming the system is a good thing. However, the 1000 streams per track policy will hurt Spotify’s smallest creators far more than those putting in minimal effort.

Thank you for your time and good luck to my fellow small musicians.

[newmusickarl]

Album & EP Recommendations

If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power by Halsey

Halsey’s evolution across her career has been quite something to witness. Having begun her career in pure pop territory, her artistry has developed over time with each new record seeing the American singer-songwriter up the ambition and scope of her music. Now with this her fourth album, Halsey has gone bigger than ever, teaming up with Nine Inch Nails members and Oscar-winning composers Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for her boldest work to date.

Produced entirely by Reznor and Ross, Halsey describes this new record as “a concept album about the joys and horrors of pregnancy and childbirth.” Naturally with any concept record there is going to be a cinematic feel, however Halsey has gone one step further and even delivered a full theatrical film to accompany the album, the trailer for which you can watch above. Although I am yet to see the film, there is no doubt that the musical portion is a mightily ambitious and accomplished project, with each song seamlessly segueing into the next despite the array of styles and genres across each track.

It may still be a pop record at the heart, but with the masterful touch of Reznor and Ross, Halsey also brings in some industrial rock elements, as well as a bit of pop punk in places too. However, it is not just sonically that Halsey pushes the boundaries but also thematically as well, using the album’s concept to press the issue of feminism and misogyny within the lyrics. Arguably what’s most striking about this record though is how tightly constructed everything is here – under the watchful eye of Reznor and Ross, the dramatic production is inch-perfect.

Most importantly, the songs here are just fantastic, from the religious imagery and glistening synths that lace the wonderful melody of Bells of Santa Fe, to the raw, grungy guitars of You asked for this. There’s also the atmospheric piano ballad 1121, where Halsey really flexes her impressive vocal cords. Pulsating, stylish electro-pop single I am not a woman, I’m a god is another standout. Once you have been amazed by all of this, the gentle plucking and raindrop like xylophone of stunning closer Ya’aburnee arrives to really blow things away.

In a year packed full of outstanding pop records, Halsey has delivered, for my money, one of the best of the lot. With Reznor and Ross holding the reigns, they help Halsey deliver on her epic vision with both style and control. It’s one thing to attempt a record like this, it’s another thing to pull it off as expertly and vibrantly as this – hats off for this one!

Listen here

Screen Violence by CHVRCHES

Also delivering their fourth album this week was Scottish synth-pop group CHVRCHES who, whilst predominantly maintaining their vintage sound, have lyrically pushed themselves into darker territory on this new record. Probably their finest work since their debut, frontwoman Lauren Mayberry takes no prisoners as she tackles sexism and misogyny, calling upon her own experiences within the industry to really illustrate the issues being put front and centre.  

This is highlighted best on electric single Good Girls, a track Mayberry wrote “after listening to some friends arguing about the present-day implications of loving certain problematic male artists – I was struck by the lengths that people would go to in order to excuse their heroes and how that was so juxtaposed to my own experiences in the world.”

Other highlights include He Said She Said, a glistening synth-driven pop banger that’s contrasted against razor-sharp lyrics with a defiant message at its core – catchy, but also powerful and thought-provoking. There’s also the superb collaboration with The Cure legend Robert Smith, How Not to Drown, which is a moody, atmospheric, and synth-soaked belter of a track. Although it is incredible right the way through, the real spine-tingling moment comes during the song’s outro thanks to the ghostly vocals of Smith being cast over some hauntingly melodic guitars. Outside of the singles, the rawness of heartbreaking closer Better If You Don’t leaves the biggest impression.

All in all, this album ranks amongst their best work and although it may not be quite as dramatic or impressionable as Halsey’s album, there’s still plenty to which you’ll want to digest and ultimately keep returning.

Listen here

How Long Do You Think It’s Gonna Last? By Big Red Machine

The National’s Aaron Dessner and Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon have certainly kept themselves busy over lockdown. It seems they weren’t satisfied with just taking Taylor Swift’s music to incredible new heights on 2020’s folklore and evermore, as they have now also released their second album under their Big Red Machine guise. The most noticeable thing about this second record is that the duo have extended their collaboration further this time around, bringing in renowned artists such as Ben Howard, Sharon Van Etten, Lisa Hannigan and Fleet Foxes, as well as two more collaborations with Miss Swift herself.

Given the talent involved, it is no surprise that this makes for a really special and stunning collection of songs. There’s wonderful electro-folk track Mimi, which sees singer-songwriter Ilsey Juber join Justin Vernon on lead vocal duties. Phoenix sees Robin Pecknold of Fleet Foxes and Anaïs Mitchell join in for a wonderful, horn-backed number. This track in fact isn’t the only time Anaïs Mitchell steals the show, as her beautiful, soothing vocal performances on opener Latter Days and closer New Auburn arguably provide the two best moments of the entire album.

The two tracks with Taylor Swift are also fantastic, with Renegade offering a sweet, pop cut that wouldn’t be out of place on either of Swift’s last two records. The better of the two though is Birch, a piano-driven, string-tinged ballad which sees Swift simply providing back-up vocals to Vernon’s haunting folky croons. It’s stunning and possibly my new favourite collaboration between the three artists.

Ultimately this is just a superb album, with Dessner and Vernon thriving alongside their chosen collaborators for a collection of songs that will frequently both move and astound you.

Listen here

Donda by Kanye West

Easily the most talked about album of the week, after several launch events and many, many delays, Kanye West finally released his long-awaited tenth studio album, Donda. Now anyone who knows me knows that I am not a fan of excessive, bloated albums, so with Donda clocking in at almost 2 hours long it was always going to struggle to win me over.

As expected, this is another West project that struggles with inconsistency, with moments of brilliance balanced out with plenty of moments that ultimately underwhelm. Although it has more high points than Ye and the production is more polished than Jesus Is King, there is no track as good as Ghost Town and sonically I found it less inspired than Jesus Is King in many ways. I’m not sure just yet if this is indeed the worst West album, but it is certainly down there in the bottom half for me.

That said, there are still some great moments to be found here. Once you get passed the massively irritating Donda Chant opener (honestly, so painful!), the Jay-Z featuring Jail offers an anthemic rock-influenced gem to get the album started properly. From there The Weeknd featuring Hurricane, the Lauryn Hill sampling Believe What I Say, the heavenly melody of Kid Cudi feature Moon and the organ-backed closer No Child Left Behind provide some of the other highlights. However possibly the finest moment comes in the form of Jesus Lord, a 9-minute epic that sees West deliver some of his best bars in years, returning to the social-consciousness that made him a star in the first place.

If you are a fan of West’s recent gospel-influenced work, then this album will reward you for your patience if you stick with it. For me, although there are some moments I enjoyed, the length was just too much, with this album having the same inconsistency problem that The Life of Pablo had but without reaching the same heights as that album did when it was at its best. Disappointing, but still somewhat worthwhile.

Listen here

The Awesome Album by Mouse Rat

And finally on the albums front, if like me you are a big Parks & Recreation fan, you’ll be pleased to hear that Chris Pratt’s fictional band from the show, Mouse Rat, have finally released their debut album this week. Featuring classics such as 5,000 Candle In The Wind and The Pit, this one is a lot of fun for fans of the show.

Listen here

Tracks of the Week

Good Ones by Charli XCX

Coming off the back of the definitive lockdown album How I’m Feeling Now that earned her both a Mercury Prize nomination and a place in my Top 5 albums of 2020, Charli XCX has returned with a new synth-driven banger that packs in an insanely catchy hook and wonderful 80s vibes.

Listen here

Family Ties by Baby Keem & Kendrick Lamar

Also making his return this week was King Kendrick who delivered a fantastic new collaboration with his cousin Baby Keem. Over a brilliant horn-driven beat, the two family members go toe-to-toe and bar-to-bar across this concise hip-hop banger.

Listen here

Alone by Rag N Bone Man & Nothing But Thieves

A remix of a track from Rory Graham’s latest album Life By Misadventure, this version sees Conor Mason of Nothing But Thieves join in on vocals, along with some triumphant rock production that replaces the stripped back nature of the album cut.

Listen here

Spirit Power & Soul by Johnny Marr

The brilliant first track from his forthcoming new EP, Spirit Power & Soul finds legendary guitarist Johnny Marr in fine form, sonically calling back to his days with Bernard Sumner in Electronic. Built on a masterful central riff, pulsating synths and a big anthemic chorus, it’s a belter!

Listen here

Nothing Else Matters by Chris Stapleton

And finally this week, we’ve had plenty of great, unique covers of Nothing Else Matters by Metallica already this year, with Miley Cyrus and Phoebe Bridgers already offering their own take on the classic song. However, I’ve always got time for another and this 8-minute epic from country singer Chris Stapleton is just as dazzling, thanks to some amazing bluesy guitars and his textured vocal performance.

Listen here

[thefloatingstone]

We’ve gone from Self-Isolation to Quarantine and in some places to gradual relaxation phases, but that doesn’t stop the need for more nonsense you can watch on youtube while you wait for things to get back to normal. And recommending things and making lists are some of my favourite things to do but I have not yet figured out how to start or structure a video myself, you guys get another rambling tumblr post of things you can watch on youtube.

This time I’m once again just gonna recommend individual videos rather than full channels like I did in part 2.

Part 1

Part 2

In no particular order; 

LOCAL58: The Broadcast Station that Manipulates You

I recently started watching the Nexpo channel when I went on a binge of creepy youtube videos. Most of his videos are really good although the ones where he himself goes into theory crafting can be a little asinine. However, this video is REALLY good. And before you get nervous, LOCAL58 is not a real TV station. LOCAL58 is a youtube channel created by the same guy behind the Candle Cove creepypasta. This video by Nexpo covers the various episodes of LOCAL58 and discusses them. Just be aware going in that this is abstract horror, and will probably get under your skin regardless if you’re unaffected by certain topics or not. although cw for suicide mention.

I also recommend most of the rest of this channel, although be careful where you tread. I don’t recommend his series “Disturbing things from around the internet��� as it can sometimes include real life crime, abuse and such caught on security cameras. Everything else is really good tho. (although I was really annoyed by his 2 videos on KrainaGrzybowTV)

The Search for D.B. Cooper

LEMMiNO has a new video out covering one of the most unexplained crimes in the past century of the US. LEMMiNO is the guy I’ve recommended before who did videos on the Universal S. He is very down to earth and not someone prone to conspiracy or even really that fanciful of thinking. (He’s like the one person I feel covered the Dyaltov Pass incident and was confused by why this was even a mystery because if you read the Russian Autopsy reports and documents associated with the case it’s all pretty logical and easily explained)

D.B. Cooper is the name given to a man who, in 1971, hijacked an airplane with a bomb, asked for a large sum of money, and after receiving it, parachuted from the plane and was never seen or heard from again.

The Austrian Wine Poisoning | Down the Rabbit Hole

Down the Rabbit Hole also has a new video out, this time covering the Austrian Wine Poisoning event from 1985. A scandal that involved literally the entire country of Austria, affected multiple countries, and forever changed the way wine was made world wide. As someone who is generally pretty allergic to most artificial substances this one made me personally very angry. But luckily, it has a happy ending and a better world for us all... if I could drink wine which I can’t do anyway.

The Turbulent Tale of Yandere Dev - A Six Year Struggle

The Right Opinion is another channel I only recently subbed to after watching his cover on Onion Boy. I put off subbing to him simply because of his channel name and I thought it meant he would come across as smug and elitist. Luckily this seems to merely be one of those “I chose a bad channel name and now I’m stuck with it” type of situations. (IHE has a similar problem).

Anyway, I have a weird interest in bizarre internet personalities, so I’ve been enjoying his channel as he simply discusses and presents a timeline of events of certain individuals. In this video, he covers the developer behind the much maligned Yandere Simulator. It’s a tale of hubris, arrogance, immaturity, and an unwillingness to accept your own shortcomings due to ego.

Oh and there’s a meme game about Japanese school girls with anime tiddies in there as well.

The Most Relaxing Anime Ever Made | Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō

Kenny Lauderdale is a youtube channel which is slowly becoming bigger which I’m very happy to see. He exclusively covers anime and live action Japanese television no younger than the mid 90s (as is the case with YYK) and which usually never saw a release outside of Japanese Laserdisc. I do wish his videos were a little longer, but if nothing else his videos serve as an excellent starting to point to find some older and underappreciated shows... or hot garbage fires. In this episode he talks about the 2 OVA episodes made based on one of my favourite manga, Yokohama Shopping Log. A Post apocalyptic anime about an android who runs a coffee shop outside of her house, and the quiet solitude of living in a world of declining human population, brief encounters with travelers and other people, and just... existing. The anime was never released outside of Japan and is only available on Japanese VHS and laserdisc.... but hey guess what!! Somebody uploaded both episodes, subbed, to Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2HCVOH6DtA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqSTwfkobME

YMS’ slow descent into madness as he uncovers just how bullshit the Kimba Conspiracy is

I’m linking a full playlist for this one.

YMS is busy planning his review on the “live action” Lion King remake as the original 1994 movie is probably his favourite movie all time (and also self declared what made him a furry). As part of the 2 hour review, he decided to what all 2000 hours of Kimba the White Lion just to mention how The Lion King potentially stole the idea. ....until he actually watched all 2000 hours of Kimba and realised that if you actually WATCH Kimba, it has VERY little to do with the Lion King at all apart from having the same animals in them because AFRICA. Watch as one man slowly loses his mind as he realises just how stupid this conspiracy theory is, just HOW DECEITFUL and straight up LYING people can be. People who write BOOKS. People who teach LAW AT UNIVERSITIES. Because NOBODY bothered to actually watch the entire show and just parroted the “Disney stole this” lie which got started by like 2 salty fans on the internet.

The man set out to just mention how Disney stole an idea, and uncovered one of the most infuriating rabbit holes on the internet. Screaming for SOMEONE to provide him with sources or evidence.

YMS will be publishing his full Kimba documentary this month which he has said is around 2 hours long before he continues to work on the Lion King one.

Science Stories: Loch Ness eDNA results, Poop Knives, and Skeleton Lovers

TREY the Explainer has a video giving us some updates in Archeology from 2019. In this video he discusses the findings of the eDNA results conducted on the Loch Ness to see what animal DNA the lake contains which will tell us what living animals currently inhabit the lake, ancient knives made of poop and if this is a real thing that could have existed, and a skeleton couple found buried together which were at first thought to be lovers, then revealed to be both male, and then how in this instance we cannot let our modern sensibilities dictate what we WANT this burial find to be, but to look at the evidence as presented to us and place in context finds of this nature. The worst thing an archaeologist can do is look for proof to a theory they already have.

The Bizarre Modern Reality of Sonic the Hedgehog

Super Eyepatch Wolf is back and he’s here to talk to us about the very very strange existence of Sonic. a 90s rebellious “too cool for School” answer to Mario, a lost idea as the world of video games changes and culture shifted, a meme and punching bag amplified by a unique fanbase and poor quality games, a transcendence into a horrific warped  idea of what he once was, and modern day and where Sonic and his fans are now. As usual Super Eyepatch Wolf knocks it out of the park.

Kokoro Wish and the Birth of a Multiverse: A Lecture on the Work of Jennifer Diane Reitz

I don’t even sub to this channel as I’m not entirely sure what Ben’s usual content is about. But every now and then he has a “101″ class, where he explains to a room full of his friends in a classroom setting (complete with Whiteboard) an internet artist and oddity, the timeline, and what it is they have created. (wait... didn’t I say this already?). Unlike TRO however, the 101 classrooms are not a dark look into disturbed individuals (although the CWC 101 is debatable) nor is it a “lol look at this weirdo” dragging. Instead, of the 3 he’s done so far, it’s usually a rather sympathetic look at some of the strange artists on the internet who through some way or another, left a very big cultural impact on the internet space through their art. Sometimes they may not be the best people, but their work is so outside of what we’re used to seeing that just listening to him run you through these people’s internet history is fascinating.

In this episode he talks about Jennifer Diane Reitz. And although it is titled Kokoro Wish, the lecture is more about Jennifer’s larger work back in the early internet when being a weeb was unheard of, how being trans influenced her stories and characters, and her world building that is so rich and in-depth with it’s own ASTRO PHYSICS it puts any modern fictional world found in games or movies to shame.

Jennifer is not exactly a nice person... and in many ways can be seen as dangerously irresponsible, but she created something truly unique in a way that you kinda struggle figuring out if it’s terrible or a work of genius.

Anyway I think that’s enough for now

[angellesword]

Seventy One

Description: What were you supposed to do when seven men ended up falling in love with you?

Choose, of course.

Seventy One: from seven to one.

Pairings: ot7 x Female Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, inexplicit smut

Word Count: 11k (One shot)

Warnings: alcohol, kissing, mild physical violence, blood, there are stalkers in this fic, discussion of dropping out of school, and losing interest in life. 

*** I know this doesn’t have a lot of warnings, but please be mindful of what you’re reading. (especially minors) I’ve been on tumblr and wattpad since 13 and I honestly regretted it. I should have waited for the right time before diving into the word of fiction.

Of one thing, you were sure: You were going to quit medical school no matter how many times they tried to stop you.   “I just don’t understand why people are stopping me, you know? This is my life.” You breathed in heavily. “My life!” You repeated the last two words to emphasize your point.   Not everyone had a dream. This was what Min Yoongi always told you. Admittedly, this friend of yours admired you for knowing what you wanted to do in life. Sometimes he envied you. For him, you were the epitome of beauty and perseverance. Once you set your mind into something, you were sure to do it no matter how hard it may seem.

  “They’re just concerned for you, Princess...” Seokjin pinched your cheeks, an attempt to lighten up your mood, but also because he found you cute.   You sighed, trying to flash a smile at your best friend. You appreciated his little ways to make you happy.   You had known Kim Seokjin ever since you were a child. Your mom was actually best friends with Seokjin’s mom. As a result, they also wanted their kids to become friends. It happened. Seokjin was a few months older than you, but this didn’t stop you from hanging out with him. The world was convinced you were destined to be together because the two of you were inseparable. You loved hanging out with him. He was a sweetheart, always polite and he didn’t have to try hard to make everyone around him smile. He was naturally funny.

And the best part about being his best friend? Well, Seokjin loved to cook. He always prepared your favorite garlic chicken. Jin didn’t mind eating this flavor of meat with you even though his skin itched after consuming it. “They’re not concerned about me. They’re concerned about themselves.” You gritted your teeth together. Bitterness was taking over you once more. You stood by this. You felt like the reason why your family and relatives were stopping you from dropping out of medical school was because they didn’t want to associate themselves with a dropout—with a person who was irresponsible and didn’t have any dream. You were going to taint your family’s name.   When you told Seokjin about your plan, he had a similar reaction with your family. He also stared at you blankly. Your heart sank. Your relatives’ reaction hurt, but the disapproval of your best friend, the person who you thought would support you through thick and thin, hurt the most. Fortunately, you were wrong. Seokjin wasn’t judging you. He was just shocked because he knew how much you wanted to be a doctor.   You thought so too, but it only took you two semesters to realize that medical school wasn’t for you. You were spontaneous, just like Jeongguk, the maknae of your group of friends.   Studying all day wasn’t for you. You didn’t want to sacrifice your time researching and losing sleep. You wanted something fun...something liberating.   Jeongguk was exactly like that. You could never forget the day he knocked on your door at ten pm; his eyes were sparkling as asked if you wanted to go high diving with him.   You agreed. It was the best day of your life. Your fingers were intertwined. You screamed all of your frustrations as you jumped. The cold, pristine water swallowed you whole.   You figured that the water might be cold, but your heart was warm and so was Jeongguk’s smile.   Your friendship with Jeongguk was the opposite of your relationship with Seokjin. The latter had a careful approach in life. This was probably the reason why he was at the top of his chosen career. Seokjin graduated in the most prestigious university in Seoul with a degree in Film Studies.   His hoobaes admired him for being the best sunbae. Seokjin was thoughtful. He took his time giving helpful tips to young artists. Your best friend had the right to give advice as he was already the most successful actor of WWH Labels, one of the best entertainment agencies in South Korea. Seokjin had won and was still winning major awards from different shows all over the world. His fan base was getting bigger and bigger. Despite this, he remained humble. Compared to him, you were nothing—at least this was how you feel.   “You’re really gonna drop out?” He asked you for the nth time.   “Yes.” You said confidently. “You know me. Once I set my mind into something—“   “It is final and there is no turning back.” He completed your infamous line and then he sighed. “I’m just making sure. You know, I’ve noticed that you’ve been taking Yoongi’s opinion seriously.”   “Your point?” You asked him directly while raising a brow. Why was Yoongi suddenly involved?   “W-Well...I...” He swallowed, it was as if there was lump in his throat, making it difficult for him to continue what he was about to say.   “What, Seokjin?” You know it was downright rude to just drop honorifics; however you were pissed off. He hadn’t said anything but you already knew what was in his mind. He was your best friend after all. You knew him inside out.   “I just,” he started and failed again. Seokjin realized there was no point of sugarcoating things. He needed to be honest. “Yoongi dropped out of college so I thought that maybe he’s influencing you in some way—“   “Oh shut up!”   You couldn’t help your anger anymore. You were wrong for trusting him. You shouldn’t have relied on his encouraging words when you told him you were going to drop out.   You remembered his soft eyes and heartwarming smile as he said “I’m not going to stop you, Princess. You should do what you want. I will support you with all of my heart as long as you're happy and not hurting someone else...” Apparently, it was a lie.   It was stupid of you to find it endearing. It was stupid of you to think that both Seokjin and Yoongi shared the same sentiment. The former wasn’t like the latter. Yoongi was the only genuine supporter you had.   Yoongi told you to “fuck it all,” when you told him about your plan to drop out of school. He said that you were free to do what you wanted. His advice was similar to Seokjin’s. The only difference was that Yoongi didn’t care about what other people thought. He said that it didn’t matter if you were to give up your faith and your trust to them. The only important thing was for you to achieve your goal. In the end, you would only realize the worth of someone if that person chose to stay by your side even if you were at your lowest.   Dropping out of medical school meant you would lose your loved ones. Your friends might even think that you were a bad influence. Yoongi claimed that you didn’t deserve to be with people who thought this way.   Regardless of their genuineness, both Seokjin and Yoongi made their points clear. To be honest, you couldn’t disregard Seokjin’s point when he claimed that Yoongi’s word got the best in you. What Yoongi said was what you wanted to hear, so naturally you would defend and follow him. It wasn’t right. This made you realize that the advice that you needed was from someone who depended on reality rather than just being brutally honest or being too careful with words.   You needed someone who didn’t simply rely on emotions. You needed someone who resorted to logic.   You needed Kim Namjoon.   “I think I should go. Thanks for the food. See you later.” You barely touched the kimchi fried rice and spicy beef bulgogi Seokjin had cooked just for you, yet you were already leaving.   “Do you need a ride?” He asked softly.   You eyed your best friend from head to toe, causing him to flinch as he immediately hid his left hand behind his back. You weren’t aware, but Seokjin hurt himself while preparing your food.   “No. I’m just gonna go to Namjoon’s.”   Namjoon’s place was right across Seokjin’s apartment. Actually, the reason why you were friends with Namjoon was a funny story.   Namjoon was originally from Ilsan, the city of flowers that was only a few hours away from Seoul. He said he was just an ordinary boy who liked music, so even if the possibility of failing was high, Joon still chose to risk it all and went to Seoul. He struggled a lot. His place was small, making it hard for him to buy music equipment. Despite his home being small and easy to maintain, Namjoon, the ever clumsy boy, still turned it into a chaotic place. You remembered that time vividly. It was nine years ago. You, Seokjin, and Yoongi were enjoying your usual movie marathon night at Seokjin’s apartment when you heard a loud “HELP!” Next door.   You weren’t the type of person who ignored those in need, so you asked your two best friends to go with you to check in with the new neighbor. When you heard the word help, you were expecting to see a person in distress. But upon seeing the face of the man who just opened the door, you instantly knew you were the one who needed help. Damn. Someone should bring you to the hospital because your heart hurt.   The boy in front of you was so gorgeous that it physically hurt you. His blond hair complemented his tanned bare chest. God. You felt like you were going to have a heart attack if he didn’t put a shirt on.   “My microwave is on fire!”   Regrettably you lost interest when he spoke. Just...who in the right mind would catch their microwave on fire?   Clearly, only a dumb person.   Apparently, Kim Namjoon was dumb.   You, Seokjin, and Namjoon were losing your minds as you looked at the flame. Yoongi, on the other hand, just pressed the ‘stop’ button and after a few seconds, the chaos also stopped.   “Oh man. What did you put in there?” You winced while trying to get a good look inside your neighbor’s microwave.   “Uh? Bulgogi wrap?” Namjoon scowled, unsure.   “Bulgogi wrap wrapped in aluminum foil.” Yoongi corrected.   When your neighbor nodded, you and your friends face-palmed.    Who in the right mind would put an aluminum foil inside the microwave?   Only a dumb person.   Again, Namjoon was dumb.   “Fuck. I’m really hungry, but I’m scared to use the microwave again.” Namjoon face-palmed too. He didn’t know how to cook.   “Do you like ramyeon?” Seokjin asked.   “Who doesn’t like ramyeon?” This was Namjoon’s answer. “A dumb person.” You chuckled, interjecting their conversation.   When Namjoon shrugged his shoulders, you realized that maybe, he wasn’t dumb at all. Namjoon joined your movie marathon that night. It didn’t stop there, though. Namjoon was cool person so he didn’t have a hard time fitting in with your friends. Namjoon was also smart and charming. It wasn’t at all hard to like him. You actually harbored feelings towards him. You couldn’t help it. You found him sexy whenever he was producing songs with Yoongi.   Min Yoongi was the kind of person who liked to do his thing alone, so imagine how surprised you and Seokjin were when Yoongi asked for Namjoon’s help, making you realize that Namjoon actually creates more than he destroys. Yes, he was careless and he broke a lot of things, but he sure knew how to create beautiful and meaningful verses that touch the heart of his listeners.   His style complemented Yoongi’s way of making music. This was why you didn’t get surprised anymore when Namjoon and Yoongi told you and Seokjin that they were planning to make a small music entertainment that would focus on music healing, talent, and skills of their artists. Few years later, Paradise, the name of their firm, became the biggest entertainment in South Korea, dethroning WWH Labels. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Seokjin, the empire of WWH would probably fall. Seokjin was the company’s backbone.   “Namjoon, open your damn door.” You banged on the door of studio. You knew Namjoon had enough money to purchase a bigger place, but he didn’t want leave this building. His only compromise was to buy the unit as well as the three units next to his apartment. He then renovated it to a much bigger studio. He called it Rkive, his personal working area. Seokjin also didn’t want to leave his apartment because he had been living there ever since he was a trainee, but he would probably move to a new place in the future—just not now.   “You realize I can steal your valuables and you still wouldn’t notice?” You welcomed Namjoon with an exasperated sigh as he opened the door. As usual, he showed himself to you wearing nothing but gray sweatpants that hugged his hips perfectly. His Balenciaga boxers caught your eyes. You couldn’t help the blush staining your cheeks. You had seen him in this state many times already, but you still couldn’t help but to swallow hard every time. Namjoon was damn attractive, but this didn’t mean that he was perfect. In fact, his one flaw annoyed the hell out of you. You really hated the fact that he was always so immersed in making music that he didn’t seem to give a shit about the people around him. You were standing in front of his door for straight ten minutes already, if you didn’t aggressively bang on his door, you would most likely still be waiting here in vain.   “The only thing you can steal is my heart, baby girl.” You shook your head when Namjoon winked at you.   Ah damn. How could you still be irritated at him when it was clear that he knew how to make your heart skip a beat? Namjoon was probably the only person who could say sappy things that wouldn’t make you cringe.   “Don’t make me regret going here, Joon.” But you couldn’t tell him that.   “I’m kidding!” He pulled you inside his studio. Namjoon was busy producing a song before you came.  Bangtan Sonyeondan, the only boy band under the care of Paradise Company, was going to release a new album soon. Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk were the members of the mentioned boy group. They were pretty much involved in producing their music, but Namjoon was the one who wrote sixty to eighty percent of the lyrics of their songs. Yoongi, on the contrary, focused on producing the melody.   “You need help with anything, baby girl?” Namjoon sat on his swivel chair. He would stop working if you said you needed him. That’s how important you were. “I’m useless, Joonie.” You let out a breath, sitting on Namjoon’s lap. He instantly wrapped his arms around your waist and then he rested his head on your back.   “I don’t love you.”   “What!?” You struggled to get away from him. Did he just straight up tell you that he didn’t care about you?   “What?” Namjoon was feigning innocence as he embraced you tighter. “I thought we are supposed to lie? You said you’re useless and that’s obviously a lie.”   “Joon...” You touched his hand that’s resting just below your stomach. You were at loss of words.   “I know I tease you a lot and I don’t usually say the words you need and want to hear, but...” Namjoon sighed as well. “Please believe me when I say you’re fucking perfect. You’re perfect just the way you are and if reminding you all the time is the only way for you to remember that, then I will continue to say it even if I lose my voice.”   You were crying. You went here to seek comfort and that’s exactly what you got.   But would he still say the same thing after you told him what you were planning to do?   “I am dropping out of school, Joonie.” Your voice cracked upon confessing. Tears kept streaming down your pretty face and all Namjoon could do was to tighten his hug on you. He hated seeing you cry.   “You came here for my opinion, right?”   You nodded, too ashamed to say yes. You wondered what he thought about you.   With Namjoon, you felt exposed. You were not scared to tell him what you felt for the reason that you were certain he would always understand. This was the only thing you were afraid of. Namjoon could just look at you and you would already be willing to tell him every secret you had.   “Well I’d like to apologize because I don’t have anything to say.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “It is your life, baby girl. I can’t just tell you what to do and what not to do because at the end of the day, all you need is you.” Namjoon elucidated this thought more by letting you listen to the current song he was producing. Its title is Uhgood. Namjoon gently placed the headphone in your ears. The music started playing. All I need is me. I know I know All is need is me. You know you know The fact that the lyrics kept on repeating as if he was convincing himself made you cry. Sometimes it was really hard to make yourself believe into something. Falling short is such a painful feeling. If you haven’t experienced it, you can’t know it. This was true. It was easy for your family and friends to tell you that it was stupid to just quit medical school. It was because they didn’t know how difficult it was to continuously fail. My ideals and reality are very different, but I will still cross the bridge. I want to reach you. The real you, the real me. You were deluded by the idea that being a doctor was the best thing that could happen in your life. You still pushed through your dreams even though it hurt you many times. It stopped now. What you wanted to become in the future was the real you. You wanted to do what would make you happy—not what your loved ones thought was good for you. Namjoon thought the same because after letting you listen to the song, he said this: “You will pave your own way and your family and friends are just here to watch you grow. We are just merely the pieces of your boat, it is still up to you whether you’ll row it or not. Do you understand what I’m saying?”   You hummed. Namjoon seemed contented with your answer so he continued.   “My parents didn’t want me to pursue my dream as a rapper. They said I am too naive and guess what? They’re right after all.” He chuckled lowly, with deep dimples and all that. “But look where I am now. Yes, I didn’t become a rapper, but I became someone greater. Someone better. Someone I can be proud of. I train aspiring artists and I am able to produce songs for people. If I listened to my parents, I wouldn’t be the Namjoon you know and the RM they know...” RM was his name in the music industry.   “All I’m saying is follow your heart. You might have heard the same thing from Yoongi and Seokjin or I maybe I’m just blabbering dumb words, but do you get the point? At end of all of this, it is up to you whether you’re gonna listen to my advice or listen to yourself. Either way, it is still your choice.”   “What will I even do without a Kim Namjoon in my life? God you’re rich and smart. Your future girlfriend will be so lucky.” You laughed, wiping your tears away.   “You can be that girl, you know...”   And just like that, Namjoon was back with the teasing.   “You know no one is going to take you seriously if you flirt with every girl you see, right?” You pouted your lips. Namjoon smirked.   “Why? Are you the every girl I see?”   “What?”   “What what?   Silence.   “I love a dumb person.”   “Oh! Who’s the lucky girl?” Your eyes twinkled. It was Namjoon’s turn to roll his eyes.   “I am talking to a dumb person.”   “Well I’m sorry I’m slow! You haven’t said anything about the girl you like and—oh.”   I love a dumb person...

I am talking to a dumb person...   “Joon...” You trailed off when you realized what he said. Shit. What were you supposed to say?   “I am in love with you, baby girl.”   For years, you believed that you liked Kim Namjoon in a romantic way, but as he confessed his love for you, the only emotion you felt was guilt.   Guilt because without giving it much thought, you already knew you couldn’t reciprocate his feelings—at least not in the way he wanted you to.   “Don’t worry, baby girl.” He laughed, but you could feel the hurt in his voice. You’re thankful you couldn’t see his face as you were still sitting on his lap. His face was facing your back. You didn’t want to hurt him.   “I’m just saying this because I don’t want to regret anything. Falling in love isn’t experienced by everyone. It makes me happy that I am able to feel something as beautiful as this one. Loving you is such a beautiful feeling. I love that I love you, baby girl.”   “Damn, do you want some bulgogi wrap?”   Namjoon burst into laughter upon hearing your statement. Is his confession that bad that all you could think about was food?   “Are you telling me I poured my heart to you just so you can talk about wanting to eat bulgogi?”   “It’s for you, idiot!” You finally faced him, hitting his chest with your hand. “I figured you deserve some bulgogi wrap after that heartwarming confession. God, you’re so good at this!” Namjoon simply laughed it off. He also agreed to eat bulgogi wrap at a Korean stall downtown, but this was already hours ago. Right now, you were out with Park Jimin, drinking soju. Namjoon confession made you feel guilty. The only solution you could think of was to drink the guilt away with Jimin. It was a wrong move though. Who would have thought that Jimin was also going to confess his true feelings for you?   Ah. Park Jimin. The it boy of Bangtan Sonyeondan. He was a phenomenal dancer; his voice was sweet as honey too.   “Listen, babe...” Jimin giggled, his eyes turned smaller when he was smiling. He was cute, unfortunately you loved him the same way you loved Namjoon. What you felt for Jimin never changed ever since you met him. Well, you met him when you needed him the most. Quite literally, really.   You remembered that night. You went out to drink with your other friends. It was one of your typical night outs, nothing weird. Nothing creepy—this was until you felt like someone was following you.   All of your friends were home now. You always made sure that all of your friends were in the comfort of their homes before you could go to your own abode. But tonight, you wished things were different.   “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Pick up the phone, Yoongi!” He was the only one you knew you could call. Seokjin was busy with his taping. Namjoon, on the other hand, was out of country to meet up with other artists who wanted to collaborate with Bangtan. Sadly you couldn’t reach Yoongi. This made your heartbeat doubled. The stranger continued to follow you. Wherever you went, he followed.   Tears streamed down your cheeks as you ran towards a narrow alley. A sigh of relief escaped your lips when you realized that the creepy person already stopped following you.   That’s what you thought.   Your muffled scream was frightening. Someone just covered your mouth as he pulled you towards another alley. This one was narrower and darker.   You planned to get away from this person, although it wasn’t needed anymore. The man let go of you intentionally.   “Don’t scream. Don’t breathe too loud. They’ll leave in...” The mysterious man discreetly pointed at the person following you so you could see how frustrated they were now that they lost sight of you. “Three...two....one...”   The man you’re with as of this moment was right. The stalker really left after three seconds. “Do you know them?” You switched your gaze at him; fear was still evident in your voice. “No.” He laughed and shook his head. “But I think they’re sasaeng fans. They’re really irritating. I don’t even know why they’re called ‘fans’ in the first place.” He was annoyed but he was smiling at you.   Your creased your forehead, ignoring what he just said. It’s because you felt like you had seen him before.   “Do I know you?” You crinkled your eyes. This man really looked familiar. Where did you see him again?   “Oh. Sorry, my bad.” The guy giggled. He was so used to the idol life that he expected everyone to know him by now. “I’m Jimin. Park Jimin, the lead vocalist of Bangtan Sonyeondan, a proud artist of Paradise Entertainment!”   The introduction was too much, but cute nonetheless. He took your breath away when he saluted at you.   You giggled too.   “Ah! That’s why you seem familiar. Thanks for saving me, Jimin. I don’t know what I’ll do if you didn’t rescue me.”   “It’s nothing. Shall I walk you to your house?”   “Walk me to your boss’ house instead.”   “The clumsy one or the quiet one?”   You pretended to think.   “To the quiet one. He needs some scolding for ignoring my calls.”   Jimin simply laughed. He didn’t understand why both of his boss adored you a lot. What’s so special about you? His question had been answered as the two of you sauntered around the street of Seoul. It was easy to make him like you.   You were not like the other people he met. Jimin figured that it was probably because you were used to seeing famous people that meeting an idol like him didn’t affect you anymore. Well, whatever the reason was, Jimin realized that he liked the fact that he could laugh and do anything he wanted without you praising everything he did.   Of course he appreciated every compliment he got from his fans, although sometimes it felt like it was empty. It’s true when they said that words that were often said lost its meaning. Whenever people said that he was a prodigy in dancing or that his voice was angelic, he couldn’t decide if it was the truth or if they were just used to saying it. Apart from this, compliments caused him to feel pressured. Jimin believed that he needed to do his best all the time or else, all the love he got would fade away in an instant.   He felt more like a robot instead of a human. If it wasn’t for his family, friends, and members, he would probably quit by now.   The time he had an actually conversation with you was also the night he realized that he had another reason to strive harder. But no—it was not to impress you; it was more like you were his inspiration.   You were a med student. You were not as rich as your friends so your resources were not enough. Despite this, you still managed to make it through the day without breaking. Jimin, on the other hand, was privileged. Sometimes he felt embarrassed when he felt lazy to do his job. He had all the resources he needed. His fans loved him and he was also talented. The only thing he needed to do was to move and yet, here he was, being a complete sloth.   Jimin had been friends with you for years now. He was thrilled when you suddenly called and asked him to drink with you in the middle of the night. This was new. The two of you rarely went out together because you understood that Jimin was famous. Fans would go feral upon seeing the two of you together. You considered Jimin as one your close friends. The people under Paradise Entertainment were really close with one other. You actually had a small group of friends there. Your Saturday movie night started with Jin and Yoongi. Namjoon then joined. After a few years, the members of Bangtan Sonyeondan joined the night.   You guessed that what made the bond of the eight of you stronger was when the boy band filmed Bon Voyage. It was one of Bangtan’s reality shows wherein they travelled in a foreign country with limited budget and few resources. The fans didn’t know that you, as well as Namjoon, Seokjin, and Yoongi were there too. It was because the staffs only film the members of Bangtan.   You remembered that time clearly too. It was in the Philippines, a tropical country in Pacific. This place was a gem. They were blessed with rich natural resources and hospitable people.   The only problem here was the weather. It was so hot.   “I told you it’s a bad idea to go here during Summer! God! The weather is killing me!” You hissed at Yoongi. This was his idea. You suggested going to New Zealand, but he disagreed. He said you’d only look for pretty boys there. You just shook your head because what kind of logic was that? But then again, he wasn’t wrong.   “I saw an ice cream store over there...” Hoseok said. Your eyes followed the direction where he was pointing.   “Yeah? Should we get some?” You already stood up even though Hoseok hadn’t agreed yet.   “Okay!” But you always got what you wanted anyway.   “I’ll go with you two. We need more drinks.” Yoongi offered, he was about to stand up, howbeit Taehyung stopped him.   “Yoongi-depyonim, let Hoseokie-hyung go with our pretty noona this time. Why do you always want to tag along? Do you like our pretty noona~” Taehyung teased.   All eyes were either on you or on Yoongi. It was embarrassing. You should never let Taehyung get drunk. He’s annoying when he was intoxicated.   “Shut the fuck up, Taehyung. I’m just concerned for her. Hoseok is drunk—“   “Are you saying you don’t trust me, depyonim?” Hoseok’s jaw tensed. He didn’t like what his boss was implying. “You know I like noona more than anyone in here. I’m not gonna do anything to hurt her.”   The tension was getting thicker and this was all because of drunk Taehyung. God. You swore you were going to kill him when he’s sober enough to know that you were the one stabbing him.   “Just let her go, Yoongi-ah. She can handle herself and Hoseok is a good guy.” You heard Seokjin said.   Yoongi didn’t have a choice but to let you go. You didn’t know if it had something to do with Seokjin being the eldest or if Yoongi just realized that he overreacted.   Though you couldn’t say that Yoongi was wrong.   Your plan was to buy ice cream and alcoholic drinks, but here you were, making out with Hoseok under the coconut tree and the moonlight.   “You’re so pretty like this, sweetheart. So pretty just for me.”   “Kiss me, Hobi.”   He chuckled as he obliged to your request.   You moaned. Hoseok was hot and serious at the same time. He was the only member of Bangtan that you were not that close with. His idol persona was different from his real personality. It was understandable though. Jung Hoseok was the leader of the band. He needed to set a good example to his bandmates that was why he rarely focused on activities that did not involve work.   This was until you asked him to go out on a date with you.   “Who wants to go to Lotte World with me? I have extra ticket!” You barged in Bangtan’s studio one afternoon. Your voice was loud since you wanted to get the attention of your friends. However, it was only Hoseok who looked at you.   “Oh,” your smile faded. “Hi, Hoseok. Where are the boys?” Hoseok stopped dancing as he flashed a tight smile.   “They’re at the recording studio. Why?” He creased his forehead when he realized you were avoiding his gaze. Why couldn’t you look at him the same way you looked at the other members?   You swore it wasn’t because you hated his face. Admittedly, Hoseok was so attractive you felt like you didn’t deserve to look his way. Besides, how could you look at him now when he was topless? If this was Namjoon, you would shamelessly drool, but this was Hoseok. Jung Hoseok of Bangtan Sonyeondan.   “I just...” You attempted to look at him and you couldn’t help yourself any longer. “Do you go out with me?”   “Sorry?”   You faked a smile. Why were you so nervous?   “I mean,” you shrugged off, an attempt to calm yourself. “I have an extra ticket to Lotte World. Would you mind going out with me?” When he didn’t say anything, you panicked again. “Just friends! We’re only going out as friends!”   Your heart skipped a beat when he ruffled your hair. He was laughing because you seemed shy. There was nothing to be shy about. He would like to go out with you. He was done practicing their choreography and recording his part in their upcoming album. Hoseok was the only rapper in their group.   The three members were part of the vocal line. They were still busy recording that was why you ended up going with Hoseok in the mentioned amusement park. Hoseok didn’t regret agreeing to go with you because albeit frightened, you still made him feel like he was brave.   You coaxed him to try scary rides at that amusement park. With you, Hoseok forgot all the worries circling in his head. With you, he could be the carefree and rough version of himself.   Rough. As in rough in bed. You didn’t exactly know how it happened. After your date with him at Lotte World, the two of you spent more time with each other; however, it was always a secret. It was as though he was your new best friend. Seokjin was always busy with work that was why you chose to hang out with Hoseok instead. Only at midnight though. You two would often meet at Bangtan’s dance studio. This was the safest place since it was common knowledge to all Bangtan employees to never barge in here because Hoseok couldn’t be disturbed while choreographing new steps.   Little did they know, the only thing Hoseok was doing was making you cum.   This was the reason why you were making out with him under the moonlight tonight. This wasn’t just because you two were semi-drunk. You really wanted to be with Hoseok ever since the start of Bon Voyage.   “I love you, sweetheart...” Hoseok confessed as he inserted his fingers in your wet cunt. “Me too, Hobi. As much as I love Tae, JK, and Jimin too.” You cooed. You realized that you needed to tell them you loved them more. They would be dropping their new album soon and you were aware that this was causing them to feel stressed.   “Hobi?” You were frustrated when he abruptly stopped pleasuring you. Was something wrong?   “Sweetheart?” You called again. You even lifted his chin so you could look at him in the eyes.   “Something bothering you?” You palmed his cock. “Will this help? Want me to blow you, baby?” Hoseok lightly pushed you away. This was in contrary to the roughness of his voice.   “Do you really think all I want is sex?”   “W-What?” You blinked when you saw hurt crossed his face.   “Hobi...I don’t understand. We chose this deal right? You said you wanted me. I want you too, sweetheart.” You tried to kiss him on the lips, but it landed on his cheek when he tilted his head to the side.   “Let’s stop this deal. I don’t want to be your fuck buddy anymore.”   You froze, too stunned to even speak. He didn’t want you anymore? Did he find someone better?   If that was the case, then you couldn’t do anything. It’s just so not you to push people to do something they didn’t want. So even if your heart felt heavy, you still nodded.   “Whatever you want is fine by me, Hobi.”   “That easy, huh?” He cackled. “I just told you I love you, damn! Is this really just physical for you? Don’t you feel anything at all—”   Hoseok was cut off when Yoongi suddenly punched him. You tried to stop Yoongi, but you realized you couldn’t stop him without asking for the help of your other friends.   It was Jeongguk who was able to pull Yoongi away from Hoseok. You scowled upon seeing the idol’s broken nose and bleeding lips.   “Damn. You don’t need our stylist-noona now, Hoseokie-hyung.” Intoxicated Taehyung was unstoppable. He still managed to joke about the current situation.   Their album concept was about raising awareness about violence. Hoseok’s role was the protagonist who was always bullied by his classmates. Taehyung was saying that their stylist didn’t need to paint fake bruises on his hyung’s face anymore.   “Taehyung, you better shut the fuck up.” Namjoon threatened, but the intoxicated boy just raised his brow and smirked at his boss. It was Seokjin who stood up to stop this chaos.   “Guys...” The eldest called all of your attention, though he was only looking at you. For some reason, guilt managed to creep into your heart. Why was Seokjin looking at you using those lonely eyes?   “We aren’t going to solve anything if you are all angry. Can we please just stay calm?” Seokjin blinked as he wetted his pinkish lips. “Yoongi-ah, why did you do this to Hoseok?”   Yoongi who was currently plopped down on white sand glared at Hoseok. After this, he switched his gaze at Seokjin.   “Why don’t you ask him instead, Jin-hyung? Have him tell everyone the nasty shit he was doing to her!” Yoongi angrily pointed at you.   This time, all of your friends stared at you, patiently waiting for your answer.   “I...” You looked away. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They weren’t supposed to find out this way. In fact, they weren’t supposed to find out at all. “Yoongi saw—“   “I kissed her.” Hoseok cut you off.   The five other boys gasped while Yoongi tried to attack Hoseok again. Fortunately, Jeongguk was able to stop him.   Seokjin asked you if it was true so you didn’t have a choice but to tell them the truth. You couldn’t afford to make it seem like this was Hoseok’s fault. Taehyung laughed after hearing you admit the truth. He started dancing and singing too.   “Hoseokie and noona, sitting on a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”   You closed your eyes and sighed heavily. You thought you could handle this calmly, but Taehyung was really getting in your nerves. This was ridiculous. “Can all of you just please shut the fuck up? Hoseok kissed me because I want him to do so! I wanted it to happen, alright? He didn’t force me!”   You were fuming as you glared at Yoongi.   “He didn’t force me, Min. So just....” You sighed again. “Please apologize to Hoseok. He didn’t do anything wrong.”   Deafening silence welcomed your group. The only sound you could hear was the harsh wave. It was Jeongguk who broke the silence.   “You want him to kiss you?” He asked innocently, his big doe eyes were sparkling. “Why? Do you like Hobi-hyung, Noona?”   You bit your lower lip. Did you need to answer his question? If yes, why? If no, why? But most importantly, did you like Hoseok?   You looked at your fuck buddy. It seemed like he was in great pain—he was biting his lip while trying to stop the blood from staining his white shirt. He was also looking at you, eyes full of hope. You wished you didn’t have to hurt him.   But you did anyway.   “I like him as a friend, Jeon.” You answered the maknae’s question, but your eyes were focused on Hoseok.   You noticed the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. It was obvious that he’s trying hard to stop it.   As much as Hoseok wanted you to love him, he was certain that forcing you to do so would only hurt you. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you. This being the case, he simply nodded, accepting defeat.   “I understand.” Hoseok smiled at you. “Thank you for being honest, sweetheart.”   “Sweetheart my ass.” Why did Yoongi need to always ruin the moment?   Seokjin rolled his eyes. Yoongi was so petty.   “Let’s clear this up, guys” The eldest spoke again. He asked you all to form a circle. Seokjin was inside that circle since he was the one who gathered all of you to swear something.   “Raise your hand if you want to remain friends with the people in this circle.”   All of you, except Yoongi, complied with Seokjin’s request. You had to pinch the side of Yoongi’s stomach just to urge him to raise his hand.   He did.   “Good. Do you swear to do the best that you can to protect and not harm one another?”   “I swear.” All of you said—except Yoongi. You pinched the side of his stomach again.   “Fine! I swear!” Yoongi swore through gritted teeth.   “Do you swear to never fall in love with the only girl in this group?”   “What!?” Your eyes widened. Your face felt hot. This was so unnecessary. “Seokjin! Stop overreacting! No one is going to fall in love with me here.”   “You sure about that, Noona?” Jeongguk asked, he was obviously pertaining to Hoseok.   “All they have to do is swear, Princess. If they aren’t going to fall in love with you, it will be easy to swear!” Seokjin grinned innocently that you could only roll your eyes.   Seokjin made them swear a few more statements before giving each one of you a bottle of beer.   “To our newly formed friendship!” He raised his bottle.   “To our newly formed friendship!” The seven of you repeated and that was it.   For years, Jimin managed to keep those promises, but you could never trust a man under the influence of alcohol. “I’m only saying this now because I am drunk and I can just pretend like I don’t remember anything tomorrow.” Jimin pouted his lips as he stared at you lovingly. You listened to him.   “I like you a lot, babe. I’m sorry. I know I can’t because I promised our friends that I will never fall in love with you, but...” Jimin hiccupped. “I just have to say it once. RM-depyonim called and told our friends that he also broke the promise and I thought...fuck it all. If the CEO can confess to you just like that, then why can’t I, right?”   “Jimin, you’re drunk...” You sighed. Were you supposed to say anything? Wasn’t it cruel to reject two of your friends in one night?   “I’m not!” Jimin chuckled. “Intoxicated people can’t do this—”   “Intoxicated people fall asleep while they’re talking, bitch.” You shook your head when Jimin lost consciousness. Damn. He was wasted.   “Hello, Manager Sejin? Yeah, it’s me...” You wiggled your brows as if the person you’re talking to on the other line could see you. “Uh, Jimin is drunk and we need you here. I’ll text you the location. Bye!”   By the time you finished talking, you immediately cut the line. You’re scared of their manager. The members always got in trouble whenever they were with you. If you weren’t friends with Namjoon and Yoongi, Manager Sejin would most likely forbid the members from going out with you.   “Sorry, Manager!” You made a face when Jimin’s manager almost tripped while trying to carry the singer on his back.   Guilt washed over you when Sejin just sighed. Were you being selfish? Was your attitude too much? Should you just really leave the boys alone?   That night, you went home alone. Exhaustion made you fall asleep easily. It was already past nine in the morning when you woke up. Your phone was full of messages from Jimin, causing you to worry. Did something happen to him?   As you unlocked your phone, you received a new message from him.   [9:58am] Park Jimin: I remember what happened last night, babe. Sorry about that. I promise to never say things like that again, though I never lie when I’m drunk. Don’t feel pressured about liking me back. I can always find another person to love as I am already contented just by being your friend. Have a good day! :D   You were glad that this day wasn’t going to be as awkward as you thought it would be. It was a good thing Jimin understood your situation as he didn’t force you to reciprocate his feelings for you.   Your plan for today was to just watch your and Seokjin’s favorite T.V show. You smiled to yourself thinking how angry he would get when you told him that you watched the new episodes without him; however, your smile faded when you realized that you weren’t in good terms with him.   You got mad at him last night for being concerned about you. But...could he blame you? He was judging Yoongi and Yoongi was your friend—his friend. How could he say those things?   The three of you had known one another for years. Yes. Min Yoongi dropped out of college, but it did not mean that he failed as a person. Yoongi reached his goal. He wanted to climb the social ladder. He did it by pursuing his passion for music and you couldn’t be more proud.   “Why are you crying when you’re watching a fucking sitcom?” You screamed so loud upon hearing that voice.   “Fuck! Yoongi! You scared the hell out of me!” You threw one BT21 pillow at him. He was going to be the death of you. Literally.

 “When did you arrive?”   “You know, you always tell Namjoon how you can rob his place and he wouldn’t even know it.” He snorted. “You’re just as horrible as he is.”   Yoongi caught the BT21 pillow in his hands and then he grimaced upon seeing that this pillow was Hoseok’s line character called Mang. Yoongi fucking hated Mang.   “I’m damn broke, Yoongels. They can only steal my books in med. I wouldn’t mind, tbh.”   Yoongi sat on the couch beside you. You bit his arm when he threw Mang on the floor.   “How dare you hurt my baby!” You nursed Mang in your arms. You spent a lot just to buy this pillow. Fuck capitalism, really.   “I’ll give you Taehyung and Jeongguk’s character for free. Just ditch Mang.”   “No! Why do you hate Mang so much?” You questioned your friend who was now engrossed in watching TV.   “I hate Mang as much as I hate Chimmy.”   “I thought you liked Chimmy!” You slapped his arms. Chimmy was Jimin’s character.   “That was before Jimin told us he confessed his love for you. Joon too.”   You kept your mouth shut. This was something you couldn’t just brag about. You respected both Namjoon and Jimin’s feelings.   “You’re not hard to love, you know?” He said seriously after calling your name softly. He was the only one who called you by your real name. All of your friends had a special nickname for you.   “Don’t tell me you’re about to confess your undying love for me too?” You burst into laughter because your own joke made you cringe. There was no way Yoongi liked you. Nope. That was impossible.   “What if I am?”   “Shut up.” You slapped his arms again. Yoongi was a terrible joker.   “Why? I loved you first.”   “Yoongi....” You warned. Your heart was going crazy. No. This couldn’t be happening again. You couldn’t handle to reject three of your friends in less than twenty four hours.   “I have loved you since the day you saved me.”   And just like that, memories of the past flashed in your mind.   Ten years ago, Min Yoongi came into your life. If Jimin saved you from danger, you could proudly say that you were once a hero just like Jimin.   Going to Han River had become a habit of yours whenever you felt sad. The night you met Yoongi, you were sad. Your parents were fighting again. You thought you had the worst problem in the world, but when you saw a man in Han River’s bridge, ready to jump and end his life, you realized that there were people who had it worse.   “No!” You were able to hug him before he could jump. His body was cold and he was shaking badly. You hugged him tighter as your tears fell. You were scared—too afraid to lose this stranger.   You expected him to struggle just so he could get away from you; however, he did the opposite of what you thought he’d do. He actually hugged you back.   “All I wanted is someone to hold me like this.” His voice was low and sad. It made you cry even more.   “I’ll do it. I’ll hug you all the time if you want. Just ...don’t leave.”   Yoongi was that boy. He was determined to end his life that night, but you saved him. You acted as if you were scared to lose him. You cared for him.   You were afraid to leave Yoongi alone again, and so you brought him at Seokjin’s apartment—this was the start of your friendship. You didn’t regret bringing Yoongi there. You learned to love him. To care for him. But then again, you could only love him as a friend.   Your heart wasn’t always sure who it loved, but it sure knew who it couldn’t love.   “You’re probably gonna reject me too. I respect what you feel.” Yoongi chuckled because who knew? Maybe you had heard this exact line from Jimin and Namjoon.   “No matter how romantic our proposal is, it is still up to you who to choose. I can’t say I can’t give up on you, especially if it is your wish.”   “You are my favorite among those people who confessed to me.” You said honestly, but Yoongi just glared at you.   You raised your hands as if you were surrendering.   “Fine! Second favorite. Namjoon’s still the best and you know I have a crush on that guy.”   “I will kick his ass later.”   “Wish I can do the same. Man, his ass is the bomb.”   “Where’s the lie though?”   You ended up laughing until your stomach hurt. Yoongi kept joking around and you were sure that he wasn’t doing this just to get rid of the awkwardness. Yoongi really loved the sound of your voice and your laugh.   But he wasn’t sure when he could see you smile again.   You really dropped out of medical school. It had been months now since you made that decision. You didn’t have to say it for them to know that you were sad. You were having a very difficult time and it was apparent. The boys knew you for always pretending like you were strong and that you could handle everything. This was one of the reasons why they admired you. Namjoon was the only person who knew what you truly feel and it was not because he could read you. It was because you let him read you.   But these days, Namjoon was busy with work. You couldn’t call Jimin now since his girlfriend didn’t really like you. Yes. He had a girlfriend now. He was not lying when he said he could always find a girl to love. Jimin loved easily. That’s just who he was.   Yoongi, on the other hand, was busy mending his broken heart. Sure. He respected your decision, but it did not mean he was okay. Yoongi loved you. It’s been a decade now. He couldn’t just decide to stop loving you.   There was no such thing as unloving someone. There was only forgetting. Your heart loved, but it tried so hard to forget the feeling of being in love—a defense to stop itself from the pain of rejection.   And so now you were stuck with Taehyung and Jeongguk, the two pests of your life.   “Hi, love.” Jeongguk winked at you.   “Go away, Jeon.” You wanted to throw the slice of pizza in his face. You couldn’t do it though. Not when there were other customers who could see you.   You swore he was testing your patience. You were trying to ignore Jeongguk’s sly innuendos, but his moves were getting out of control. This kid used to be so shy around you; sadly he was shamelessly flirting with you now.   “Don’t you need to record a new song or something?” You pressed the bell to let your co-worker know that one of the customer’s orders was ready.   “Thanks, Yeonjun.” You grinned at your co-worker who also smiled at you as he served the slice of pizza to the customer.   Your dad stopped giving you allowance the moment you told him you were quitting school. You had other job but it wasn’t enough since you had bills and rent to pay. You knew you couldn’t just sit in the corner and wait for a miracle. Although your miracle came in seven forms: your friends. They offered to give you money just so you didn’t have to work in this pizza parlor.   It was tempting, really. But you were not a gold digger. You loved your friends because they were fun to be with—not because all of them were wealthy. Besides, your job wasn’t as hard as what Taehyung made it seem to be. You were a cashier. Sure, there were irritating customers, but no one could annoy you the same way as Jeongguk and Taehyung could.   “Why don’t you say that to Taehyung too, Noona? He needs to record with me!” Jeongguk pouted, though you could still see his teeth. He lookee like a bunny.   “It is because our pretty noona adores me, Guk.” Taehyung who was sitting on a stool bar beside Jeongguk blurted out.   You sighed. Why did the owner decide to construct a bar counter with stool bars where customers could sit and enjoy their food? Didn’t your boss know that customers were annoying and that the cashier might get bald from dealing with people like Jeongguk and Taehyung?   “Excuse me? Didn’t she tell you you’re just like a baby brother for her?” Jeongguk teased his rival.   “No.”   The pizza parlor just opened, but you were already tired. You needed to remind yourself that this was your fault. You were the one who told them where you worked.   Both Jeongguk and Taehyung confessed their feelings for you many months ago. You thought they were kidding since your three other friends also told you they were in love with you. Unfortunately, they weren’t joking.   Jeongguk was serious—persistent and serious. He confessed first, defeating Taehyung. Jeongguk was endearing. He expressed his emotions by singing in this pizza parlor in front of the other customers.   Of course he was wearing a mask, a bucket hat, and a hoodie. He also changed the sound of his voice since he was afraid to be recognized by his fans.   You didn’t have the heart to reject Jeongguk that night. The boy was just so adorable, though you realized it was better to break his heart now rather than to give him false hope.   After all, you felt like it was the competitive side of him who liked you and not the real Jeongguk. The maknae always wanted to win. Perhaps he wanted to win your heart just to prove it to his hyungs that he could do everything.   When you told him this, Jeongguk was beyond repair.   “Do you really think I am that petty?” he was crying in pout. Your heart broke from seeing him this sad. He was not happy because of you.   “I’m sorry, Kookie.” You engulfed him into a motherly kind of hug. You just couldn’t imagine Jeongguk as your boyfriend. You were five years older than him. Besides, you had watched him grow up. Sometimes you felt like he was your son so when he told you he liked you, the word incest entered your mind.   You didn’t want Jeongguk to think that you see him as kid. He was so much more than a baby bunny for you. Jeongguk was a fine young man who was capable of sweeping people off their feet. He could be sexy if he wanted to. It’s just not gonna work with you.   Moreover, you didn’t understand why he suddenly took interest in you. Thankfully, Jeongguk explained it well.   “I just followed this little buddy of mine.” He pointed on his chest to refer to his heart. “Plus you’re always so good to me. You’re pretty and smart too!”   You wondered if it was because you always complimented him. Jeongguk seemed very happy when people praised him. “You’ll be able to find someone prettier, smarter and someone who can love you, Kookie.”   “But I’m not looking for anyone! You are the one I like!”   Jeongguk wasn’t as matured as his hyungs. Out of all the men who confessed to you, he was the only one who did not know when to give up. He was always at the pizza parlor. He never failed to give you roses each day. He even brought you chocolates, but he ended up eating them all while waiting for you to finish your shift.   Dealing with Jeongguk was stressful enough. It wasn’t like you wanted to deal with Taehyung too. He was as persistent as Jeongguk. Why did they end up falling in love with you?   At least Taehyung changed his ways from time to time. He liked to observe first by watching the move of his rival. Jeongguk brought you flowers and chocolates. You didn’t seem to like it so he took in mind not to buy those things.   He also figured out that singing a song and a casual confession did not impress you. Therefore, he needed to be different.   The only way he could think of was to get the approval of your dad first. He wanted to meet your mom since mothers easily trusted men. Unfortunately, your mom left you and your dad years ago. Taehyung had no other choice but to face your father.   Your dad instantly alarmed you. He was asking why Taehyung was suddenly confessing his love for you.   You rushed home to confirm this news. Taehyung was really there. His boxy smile was visible. Sadly it didn’t enchant you the way it made his fans crazy.   “Tae, you should go home.”   You knew you were being cruel. However, you couldn’t handle this anymore. This seemed like a big joke for you. Did they really think they could just declare their love for you whenever and wherever they wanted to?   You knew you should be thankful. Good and pretty boys loved you. Who were you to complain? But you see, this was exactly the problem. They were good and pretty boys. If their feelings for you were real, then they didn’t deserve to be rejected at all.   But what could you do? You just couldn’t teach yourself to love them the way they wanted to be loved. Taehyung went home defeated that night. He didn’t ask why you did not like him. He didn’t need your confirmation of the painful truth. Besides, it was not like he’d give up that easily.   You didn’t ask Taehyung why he liked you too. You realized you didn’t need their validation at all. If he told you what he liked about you, would you change yourself just so he could start disliking you?   “Noona, you okay?” Jeongguk asked, pulling you back to reality.   “Yeah, Kookie. I’m just not feeling well.” You forced a smile. It was the truth. You also didn’t want to deal with them today.   “D-Do you want me and Jeongguk to leave?” Tae offered politely.   Both of them instantly stood up when you nodded eagerly.   “See you later, love!” Jeongguk winked   “Yeah, pretty noona. See you soon!” Added by Taehyung.   You simply waved at them.   The see you later and see you soon of Jeongguk and Taehyung lasted for several months. For many weeks, they did not show up at the pizza parlor. It wasn’t like they did not want to see you. They were just busy with concerts and various shows both locally and internationally.   Your heart swelled in joy whenever you watched them on television. They really grew up well. They grew organically. Yoongi and Namjoon knew what they were doing. They cared for their artists a lot.   “You should audition to Paradise Entertainment, Yeonjun. You can be just like them.” You wiggled your brows at your co-worker.   It’s past eleven pm and you were about to close the pizza parlor. You and Yeonjun were the only ones left in the store. You both agreed to close the restaurant after watching Bangtan’s performance at MMA. The show was almost done anyway.   “I’ll try my luck soon, Noona. Thank you for supporting me.”   Yeonjun’s smile reminded you of Seokjin’s pretty lips. You missed the guy. If Bangtan was busy, Seokjin was busier. You hadn’t seen him since the day you left his house after he said something bad about Yoongi, but you two still text each other. Seokjin was in New York this day. He was supposed to be the MC in MMA’s award show, but due to conflicting schedules, he turned down the opportunity.   You missed Seokjin. You really did, though you understood that both of you were not kids anymore. You couldn’t just call and ask him to go see you.   “I’ll get going, Noona. Happy birthday again!” Yeonjun waved at you and left.   Your clock said it was already 11:58pm. Two minutes left before your birthday ended.   “Did he forget?” You kicked the pebble on your way. All of your friends greeted you a joyful birthday, except for one.   Was it because he was abroad? Did it have something to do with the different time zone? “He’s still stupid for forgetting my special day!” You let out your frustration by shouting.   You were standing in front of a wide street, patiently waiting for the green signal that would indicate if you could already cross the street. You were the only person here so you could freely express your emotion without getting shy. You could shout as loud as you wanted to.   “I hate you so much, Kim Seokjin!” You screamed again. One minute left. There was no way he’s gonna call or miraculously show up.   Except that you believed in miracle.   Except that Seokjin really showed up thirty seconds before your birthday officially ended.   “Happy birthday!” One second he was on the other end of the street, the other second, he was already standing before you.   His ears and neck were bright red and he was still trying to catch his breath. You didn’t know it, but he just got off the plane and he ran as fast as he could just to greet you a happy birthday.   “You didn’t forget.” Your tears fell as the first snow fell.   “How can I forget when I know you will be waiting for me?”   “Where’s my gift then?” You had the temerity to raise your brow at him.   Seokjin grinned at you. Without saying anything, he showed you the mistletoe he was holding.   “You know what this means, right?”   You blushed. Jin was always so polite and respectful. This was the first time he showed this kind of side of him.   You couldn’t say you hated it when in reality; it made your stomach turn.   “Is it okay if I kiss you?” And just like that, the Seokjin you knew was back. You missed his shy smile and sweet voice. You missed him. You miss him a lot.   And so you touched his broad shoulders as you tiptoed, you pressed your lips on his mouth, not minding how fast your heart beat.   “I was afraid and embarrassed, you know...” Jin told you as he nuzzled your nose.   You didn’t speak.   “I didn’t mean to sound cocky when I said the matter about Yoongi being a drop out. I don’t—I can never judge him like that. I’m sorry if you felt that way...”   You only tightened your grip on his shoulders.   “I’d also like to apologize for making the boys swear to never fall in love with you. I didn’t play fair and I was being selfish.”   “What do you mean?”   He sighed.   “I know one of the boys already told you that you are not hard to love, Princess. I also figured that they are all going to end up loving you. It scared me. They’re not difficult to like and I am sorry you are hearing this from me, but I just don’t think I’ll be able to handle it when you end up dating one of them.” Jin closed his eyes, his lips are shaking. “I’m sorry...” You bit your lower lip upon hearing his confession.   “I just need you to answer one question.” You said.   “What is it?” He opened his eyes.   “Do you love me?” Seokjin laughed because of this.   “Will I ditch four award shows and a meeting with Tom Cruise if I don’t love you?”   “Can you just answer with a simple yes or no?” You were getting impatient.   “You are like the first snow fall of the year, Princess.”   “I said yes or no, Seokjin.” You glared.   He ignored you.   “You are like the first snow fall.” He repeated. “No matter how long, I will still wait for time you are ready to fall. You are cold, but I will make sure you will melt because of my scorching love for you. So yes, I love you, Princess. I am in love with you—“   You didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence as you were already kissing him.   Seven boys. There were seven boys. It hurt you to reject the six of them, but if you did not do that, you won’t be able to kiss this one boy.   The one who could make your heart beat.   You chose Kim Seokjin. Your prince.

REPOSTED ON NOVEMBER 30, 2020.

[5secondsofdrama]

Just gotta say it's nice to find fans who are OG and also a similar age to the boys cos fr I feel like the majority of the fam are like 14-16 (18 tops) and I'm out here the same age as the boys like ... Ahaha. And I do think it gives a different pov of their music to be their same age. Like, SGFG is my favourite, but ofc it is "immature". Nonetheless, a good half of the SGFG songs they could still perform today and it wouldn't sound weird for a mid 20s to perform (eg SOAU, V, OS, C22) 1/?

Like, dgmw, I adore JBH, but it's whole vibe is so teenage that I would have thought they would have dropped playing her by now (likewise with SKH...) Heck, even their early stuff they could still play and it not be weird (the exception of the obvious being like 18, KMKM, LB) but fan faves like WAYF or IYDK I don't think would be weird for them to play. They could also change the songs up a bit, too to make them sound more mature. Idk, it seems a waste if they plan to shift fully away. 2/?

They have a catalogue of what, over 100 songs? And seem to want to move away from all their early stuff when so much could still be played today. Yb is a great album, it's matured and you still have alot of SGFG (and even their 2014 EPs) vibes in there. So I'd say it's objectively my fave as I can understand the direction they took to mature to get there. CALM however I can't stand. It feels so try hard. I'm all forcreative expression but honestly can't stand the tinny RnB mix acoustic style 3/?

The mainstream complaint of the boys back in the day was that they were a boy band who were try hards to not be and to be punk rock when they aren't punks cos they don't have that edge to their attitude that punks do. But now they're very obviously trying sooo hard to be mainstream people don't seem to pick up on that. The whole RnB vibe when let's be real, it doesn't suit who they are at all. 4/?

Last one I swear sorry but I was just thinking about all this before I went to sleep aha. They claimed CALM was genre bending when it just doesn't work to be (while Yb was more so and actually worked) and also as tho that's unique to them when you have artists like Post Malone, YUNGBLUD and MGK out here executing genre bending incredibly well but that blatantly isn't their aim, they just make music they enjoy. Wish 5SOS could just reflect and do the same instead of being try hards.

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Ok so, I think this last one goes with this grouping but I’m not sure? It’s not numbered and I technically already answered it but I’m throwing it in here anyways.

There are a lot of younger fans, I try not to judge them too much bc I was pretty young when I started listening to the guys, even tho I’m closer to their age. This being said there are definitely 15 year old fans out there being super problematic and immature on twt and everywhere else. The fandom was toxic way back when too tho, and there are people in their 30s, and mid twenties out here acting like immature disrespectful brats. You can find 16 y/os who are respectful of others, they may still have some growing up to do but I don’t think it’s fair to group alll younger fans into one category and all older fans into another. As I mentioned there are some pretty poorly behaved older fans out there, who flaunt their behaviour, as immature as it is. I think overall maturity is majorly lacking across all facets of the fandom. You’re lucky when you can find small pockets of it.

When we were on ST people liked to call us all sorts of names and sent us hate. And would turn around and say that we were so immature and hateful to Sierra. Reality is that we’ve never stooped that low, and we never will. We don’t post hate, we don’t send it and we don’t promote it.

As for age changing how people experience music, I tend to agree with you. There are certain songs that are attached to young experiences of mine. I think self-titled is the most immature, Amnesia makes me think about my high school heartbreak. I can’t relate it to my current life at all. I don’t really think SGFG is that immature, a part from the name. I think they just had a lot of other influences. I disagree that JBH has a teenage vibe to it. I would say for songs like Money, SKH, and Hey Everybody, or Gotta Get Out, Social Casualty, Reject etc. But JBH has more of an undercurrent of mental health than a need to break free of social constraints put in place by school and parents.

I fully agree that they should play more of their old stuff they have some amazing lock ass songs. Ones that didn’t become massive hits, but the majority of people that buy their records and come to their shows are fans that have been around awhile. They have it in their head they need to appeal to a bigger audience. Whether that’s a then thing or that’s soemthing management is imposing we can’t be sure. I feel like overtime they’ve grown less appreciative of the fans.

People have said if they didn’t evolve their sound they wouldn’t have survived, and I think some evolution is important but I don’t know that an outright complete genre switch is necessary for them to remain successful. Youngblood was a change from their punk pop roots, which we embraced and it was good but it was different. Why they felt the need to entirely shift from that seems so strange to me, and almost unnecessary? Maybe they are having an identity crisis. Even if they had stayed pop punk forever I think they would have been fine. As you mentioned the fanbase was always so strong behind them and a lot of the fans will blindly buy whatever they put out. I’m glad we got YB, I don’t understand why they could have just evolved form their rather than doing whatever the hell they did. Overall, I agree with a lot of what you had to say. And if also like to add I miss the punk vibe and the damn lip ring, grumble.

[andrewdz]

Favorite Albums of 2019

2019 was a big year for me in music. According to my Last.FM stats, it’s the most music I’ve listened to in one year. That played a big role in why I have a top 50 albums list for the year. There was a lot of stuff I really enjoyed.  

I tried to find new bands this year because I’m over 30 now which they say is around the time you stop seeking new music and I want to prove that wrong. 14 out of my top 50 were brand new artists to me, which I wish was higher, but that’s a goal for next year now. 

I also reignited my love for some bands. I got really into the Go-Betweens in 2019. I bought a documentary about them, a book about the two founders of the band, and got a box set of their last three albums that is now one of most prized music possessions. I also found some Deerhunter records in Nashville that I listened to quite a bit. I also got to see them live this year which was a real treat. Other artists I got really into this year was Townes Van Zandt, Guy Clark, Bombay Bicycle Club, Chris Isaak, Hightide Hotel, The Brave Little Abacus and Titus Andronicus (who I was already into, but got almost all of their albums on vinyl now).

It was another terrific year for live shows as well, as I got to see a lot of artists I loved as well as ones on my bucket list. Kacey Musgraves, Sharon Van Etten, Priests, mewithoutyou (2nd time), Tigers Jaw, Titus Andronicus (2nd Time), Angel Olsen (3rd Time), Deerhunter, Trampled by Turtles, and Miami Horror. The best month was late April to late May when I got to go to five amazing but very different shows. It was one of the most fun months of my life. I got to see the Drums (2nd Time), PUP, Ratboys, Doomsquad, Operators, Desire, Chromatics, and Passion Pit! All of them were some of the best shows I’ve ever been to.

Now enough about my music year, let’s get to the list. I only wrote things about the top 30 but wanted to highlight some other ones so expanded the list to 50. Like I mentioned earlier, it was a really great year of music. Not sure if I will release a list of favorite songs this year, but we’ll see. I’ve lately become more of an album fan instead of singles. Let me know what you checked out this year!

50. Chromatics – Closer to Grey  

49. Hatchie – Keepsake

48. Nilufer Yana – Miss Universe

47. Denzel Curry - ZUU

46. Pedro the Lion - Phoenix

45. Proper. - I Spent the Winter Writing Songs About Getting Better

44. Turnover – Altogether

43. Jay Som – Anak Ko

42. Big Thief – Two Hands

41. Jimmy Eat World - Surviving

40. Titus Andronicus – An Obelisk

39. The National – I Am Easy to Find

38. Priests – Seduction of Kansas

37. DIIV – Deceiver

36. Mildura - Mildura

35. Jamila Woods – LEGACY! LEGACY!

34. Doomsquad – Let Yourself Be Seen

33. Charly Bliss – Young Enough

32. Operators – Radiant Dawn

31. Black Marble – Bigger Than Life

30. The Get Up Kids – Problems

I was late on the Get Up Kids (I know, I know, I’ll turn in my emo card after this article), and I’ve been trying to catch-up these past couple years. And what perfect timing because it’s the first album in eight years (They also had a terrific EP in 2018). It’s a really good return album from them. They can still write amazing pop punk anthems, and few bands leave songs stuck in my head as often as the Get Up Kids do. It’s interesting that the early wave of emo are now elder statesmen of the scene and they touch on that a little in this album. Reflecting on the past and what it means to be a band in 2019. It’s always good to see a band not only not just rely on nostalgia to tour on, but still release relevant music that stands up with some of their best material.

Favorite Track: Satellite

29. Bon Iver – i,i

It’s interesting where Bon Iver has gone in the past decade. First bursting on the scene with the perfect story of going to a cabin and recording a heartbreaking breakup album. Since then he’s won some Grammys, been featured on Kanye West songs, and embraced the synthesizer. For some reason, however, this album reminds me more of “For Emma, Forever Go” than his previous couple albums despite still using the more electronic approach. It has that same raw honesty that his debut had. He’s not alone in the woods anymore. He’s commanding a large group of musicians now, creating this huge sound without losing any of his heart. He also sounds more assured in himself. It’s seems like the beginning of a new era for Justin Vernon and the last song “RABi” sounds like his “riding off into the sunset” moment. Awaiting the next adventure.

Favorite Track: Faith

28. Yola – Walk Through Fire

A really strong debut album from singer/songwriter Yola. It’s really soothing with a nice wall of sound production that just sweeps you away. It also helps that she has such an amazing voice. Songs like “Faraway Look” & “Lonely the Night” feel like songs I’ve known my entire life, but was just waiting for Yola to record them. Really excited to see what she does next.

Favorite Track: Lonely the Night

27. Prince Daddy & the Hyena – Cosmic Thrill Seekers

“Cosmic Thrill Seekers” is an ambitious album, like “The Monitor” level of ambitious. It’s written almost entirely by Kory Gregory about his cycles of struggling with mental health with allusions to Wizard of Oz. They take you on a journey on this album. The feelings of self-destruction, to wanting to escape from people who aren’t even your friends, and not quite fitting in with rest of the world while also playing the most anthemic guitar riffs and crashing cymbals.  I can only imaging what the experience is like seeing this album performed live. It would have to feel like a sonic tornado, and you would wonder what just happened after you’re walking away on the street. This album didn’t make it number one on any charts, but this album is going to mean so much to so many people. Also, the last track goes right back into the first one to begin the cycle again.

Favorite Track: Lauren (Track 2)

26. Strange Ranger – Remembering the Rockets

It’s amazing how much this album reminds me of 90’s indie rock. It is so easy to picture Strange Ranger playing this album in between sets of Mazzy Star and Teenage Fanclub. I had not really clicked with Strange Ranger’s earlier stuff, but this album just seemed to make sense to me. It sounds like a fully formed album with a band that is confident enough to be more adventurous. There are some incredibly poppy hooks, but also some interesting synth beat choices. Also the switch of singing songs about the end of the world to being excited to go on a date gives the album a little extra something. A good mixture of despair and hope.

Favorite Track: Leona

25. Lost Under Heaven – Love Hates What You’ve Become

I love when a band just says “F*** It! Let’s make songs meant to be heard in a stadium,” even though they will never get a chance to. This is one of those albums that is meant to be turned all the way up with you screaming along to every chorus in your car. They are definitely wearing their hearts on their sleeve on this one, encouraging you be the best version of ourselves so by the time the album reaches it’s colossal closer “For the Wild,” you are ready to take on the world. It’s fun when a band decides to be super sincere on an album. You actually feel like rock and roll will save us, just like you did when you were a teenager and first found music for yourself.

Favorite Track: For the Wild

24. Mark Ronson – Late Night Feelings

I think my favorite thing about a Mark Ronson record is how much they seem like an awesome compilation album, and this one lives up to its name and is a perfect soundtrack for late night out on the town. He’s got a great ear for collaborators creating the perfect songs to best suit their voices. Lykke Li, Angel Olsen, Alicia Keys, and even Miley Cyrus have some terrific showings on this record. There’s no super hit like “Uptown Funk” on this album, but it is a fun listening experience, and I cannot get enough of Angel Olsen’s “True Blue” on here (Which really should have ended the album. It’s a perfect end credits song).

Favorite Track: True Blue

23. The Drums – Brutalism

The Drums are a group that has had quite a decade. They’ve released four albums, and every member but Johnny has left the group. “Brutalism,” however, is still a strong album in one of the best indie rock discographies of the past 20 years. There are some throwback songs to the early Drums days (Body Chemistry), a rare acoustic ballad (Nervous), and one of the catchiest songs they’ve ever written (626 Bedford Ave). The Drums get overlooked, but they’ve quietly created an impressive catalogue that is just begging to be reevaluated with “Brutalism“ adding a lot to that conversation. Not many indie rock bands make it to five albums, let alone having songs on that fifth album that fit along their biggest hits.

Favorite Track: 626 Bedford Ave.

22. Brittany Howard – Jaime

When I first heard this album was coming out, I thought it meant that Alabama Shakes were done as a band and Brittany was going to be an exclusively solo artist now. However, after listening to this album, I understand why it was not an Alabama Shakes record. This is a very personal record that just wouldn’t sound right as a band collaboration. This is Brittany’s story. She’s singing about life on the road, her faith, first crushes, family, and making sense of what it’s like growing up in the south. This solo record also gave her a chance to explore some different sounds than she would have on an Alabama Shakes record. You can hear some Prince influence, especially on the final track “Run to Me.” Not sure if she plans to release more solo records, but I hope this isn’t the last.

Favorite Track: History Repeats

21. (Sandy) Alex G – House of Sugar

“House of Sugar” has probably got my favorite Side A of any record this year. It just gives a chance to showcase what I love about (Sandy) Alex G so much. You’ve got the psychedelic drone style and that fast almost folk-punk style. It’s just filled with this fun eclectic sound and his voice, while probably viewed as limited in sense of range, just captures so much emotion in the music. I found this record to be one that rewards you the most the more you listen to it. I feel like I’m always discovering something new with each listen. I always enjoy checking out the latest (Sandy) Alex G record because his albums are always adventurous, and “House of Sugar” is definitely that. I would have a tough time describing this album. It’s like when you’re in a dream and there are those moments that completely change the scenario and location, but for some reason it makes sense to you in a way you can’t explain. That’s what this album is like for me.

Favorite Track: Gretal

20. Angel Olsen – All Mirrors

If I had to describe this album, I would say it’s Angel Olsen’s “Nebraska” if she had Bauhaus as her backing band. This is a big sounding record, and it’s easy to let the emotional crescendos take you away. You feel every emotion she’s putting on this record, and it is a wild ride. It’s a breakup record, and this album does a good job of capturing that feeling fresh off a breakup that just feels like a tornado of feelings. It’s a storm of emotions, but sometimes there’s a beauty in a storm as well. She said there’s an acoustic version of this album that will come out next year, but I’m glad we got to hear this version first. We get to feel the real raw emotion on this, and then when more time has passed a chance to be softer with a more reflective look back.

Favorite track: All Mirrors

19. billy woods + kenny segal – Hiding Places

It really sounds like Woods is letting it all out on this album; frustrations with music, other people, the current state of things, and his intensity is only amplified by the beats from Kenny Segal. The samples on this album are not catchy, and they shouldn’t be. This is an album that wants you to reckon with what Woods is saying. That’s what makes the final album so impressive. It’s a perfect blend between Wood’s lyrics and Segal’s beats. Complimenting each other in frustration and uneasiness. I was not familiar with either artists before this album, but I’m definitely a fan now, and I hope they will collaborate again in the near future.

Favorite Track: Red Dust

18. Truth Club – Not an Exit

There is something very old school about Truth Club. They’ve got this post-punk nasty guitar riff energy that just make this an album a delight to hear. They sound like a band with something to prove, delivering exactly what you want from a post-punk record. Sweet riffs, monotone vocals, and done in less than a half-hour. Love it.

Favorite Track: Student Housing

17. Helado Negro – This is How You Smile

Sometimes records just feel like a dream as if you can just see the music and travel in it. That’s how I feel every time I listen to “This is How you Smile.” The mixture of electronic and folk makes such beautiful music and Roberto Carlos Lange’s voice is perfect on top of these amazing collections of sound. Apparently he invited a lot of different musicians to play on this record and it really sounds like a group of friends got together and had the perfect jam with Lange’s artistic vision taking the lead. Some songs tackle today’s issues with even some field recordings from an Abolish ICE March in Brooklyn and singing about being proud of being Latinx, but not being confrontational about it. It’s beautiful music with a message.

Favorite Track: Please Won’t Please

16. Deerhunter - Why Hasn't Everything Already Disappeared?

You’ve got to give credit to Deerhunter for continuing to make really interesting albums throughout all of the 2010s, and this one seems like a good one to end the decade with. When so many of their contemporaries have disbanded or walked away from music, Deerhunter has kept going. Not resting on their past success, but creating new sounds and challenging their audience to go somewhere new with them. They can still write an amazing hook and the lyrics are as sharp as any previous album. It’s an ode to a world that seems to be on the brink of destruction by its own design.

Favorite Track: Plains

15. Anderson Paak – Ventura

Anderson Paak is on quite a creative streak with this being his fourth album in five years and I think this one may be my favorite. He’s got some amazing guests singers on this album including Andre 3000, Brandy, and the legendary Smokey Robinson. It just sounds terrific too. The 70’s soul-funk inspiration makes for some of the best grooves I’ve heard this year, and it’s a perfect album for a night drive.

Favorite Track: Jet Black

14. PUP – Morbid Stuff

Few bands do “ANGER” as good as PUP, but Morbid Stuff is not the typical angry record either. It’s like “I’m angry. You’re angry. Let’s be angry together” kind of record which is perfect for the general attitude of 2019. PUP inspires a real passionate fan base, and on this record it’s easy to see why. They packed it with cathartic anthems for the disenfranchised. Not getting along with your family? Not quite over your ex? Feel like you missed that turn you were supposed to take in life about four years ago? Get over here and let all that anger out by singing along with us. This album is community even though you can’t be with this group in person. It also helps that this is a band that can PLAY. The musicianship is just fantastic which is probably helped because this is a band. These four guys have been PUP since the beginning and they sound better and better on each album. So let’s get angry!

Favorite Track: Kids

13. Raphael Saadiq – Jimmy Lee

It’s been eight years since the last Raphael Saadiq album, and it’s understandable because this album is dealing with a lot of heavy issues; addiction, incarceration, faith, and losing family. It’s also an album that Raphael Saadiq could have only made after being a bit older with some life wisdom to look back at. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable to listen to, but also necessary. It feels like a very personal album, and you can tell how much work must have been put into producing it. The album sounds terrific, which makes sense for how much experience he’s had producing other projects in-between albums. I also forget how talented of a singer he is. This album is a real showcase of his vocal skills. Some songs sound like he’s pouring his soul into it, and just somehow keeping his voice from breaking. You get swept up in that anger he feels. This album will make you really think about where the world has been, where it’s at today, and where it’s going. A powerful and necessary album for 2019.

Favorite Track: Rearview

12. Orville Peck – Pony

Orville Peck’s music is the kind of music that would sound just as perfect being performed on stage at the Grand Ole Opry as it would hearing it off a jukebox in a dive bar in the middle of nowhere. Peck’s really tapped into that timeless country sound that just seems to sounds good anywhere in any situation. Feeling sad? Perfect. Feeling that freedom you get from just hitting the road alone? Perfect. That baritone voice is so beautiful to listen to as well. It’s a new generations Roy Orbison or Chris Isaak. Beautiful but haunting, and it wouldn’t sound out of place in a David Lynch film. The storytelling in the lyrics are also astounding. I can picture the desert riding while listening to “Dead of Night.” It’s fascinating to know that this is Peck’s first album because it’s so well formed in terms of lyrics, vocals, and hooks. Makes me even more excited for what the next album will sound like.

Favorite Track: Dead of Night

11. Great Grandpa – Four of Arrows

“Four of Arrows” sounds like a level up album from Great Grandpa after their terrific debut “Plastic Cough.” It’s a great example of a band expanding their sound without losing the identity that made their first album special. The band sounds tighter, richer (especially with the addition of strings and synths on some songs), and more ambitious. It also helps to have the amazing Alex Menne vocals. She really conveys an energy that escalates these songs’ emotional payoffs. Especially on a song like “Digger” where she sings (almost screams) “That’s why I hate you,” “That’s why I love you” with almost the same energy. You may not know what each song is about, but you certainly know how it feels.

Favorite Track: Treat Jar

10. Holy Ghost! – Work

Sometimes all you need is great dance album in your life, and Holy Ghost! provided that for me this year.  They have a kind of style of dance music that has fallen out of critical favor by the end of this decade, but I still love to hear it. They continued the tradition of Daft Punk’s “Random Access Memories” of applying their flavor to 70’s dance music, and it’s terrific fun. This album is super catchy, has wonderfully danceable grooves, and features a 7-minute plus dance closer. A perfect dance record.

Favorite track: Do This

9. American Football - American Football (LP3)

With emo revival being a big topic of conversation this past decade in certain music critics’ world, it’s only fair that one of the greatest emo bands ends the decade with a terrific album. After reuniting a couple years ago for an okay album, I’m glad they went back to studio to create an album worthy of comparison to their first album that influenced so many amazing artists. The musicianship on this album is just stunning, with a rich tapestry of melancholy permeating throughout. They also happened to create possibly the best duet of the decade by having fellow emo legend Haley Williams join them for “Uncomfortably Numb.” Just beautiful. #defendemo

Favorite Track: Uncomfortably Numb

8. oso oso – Basking in the Glow

To be honest, I feel invested in oso oso. I remember a few years back he released “the yunahon mixtape” as a pay what you want on Bandcamp and planning to walk away from music. I checked it out, and loved it on first listen. Then the album got some nice shout-outs from critics and other artists and eventually found an audience. So to see not only oso oso stick with music, but to release this terrific follow up record as well, feels like a win for everyone. There is a common misconception that emo=sad music, but this album shows that is not the case. There’s a joy on this album that is super infectious. He wants you to feel a part of his joy. It’s an album of positivity that we needed in 2019, and it helps that so many of these songs are very catchy. This is the “dance around your bedroom” kind of album, and just let yourself go for a half-hour. I’m so happy that this album is getting recognized on so many year-end lists. It feels like a win for the entire emo scene that usually gets ignored. The fact that it happened to oso oso makes it all the better.

Favorite track: The View

7. Big Thief - U.F.O.F.

I always thought of Big Thief as a perfect band for fall. Something about their music feels like the end of something before dealing with something that will be tough but necessary. That they’re the ferryman taking us into the next stage in life, and the cost is you’re going to feel a little sad listening to some heartbreaking tales. U.F.O.F., their first album of 2019, can break you down. In the first track “Contact” we hear lead singer Adrianne Lenker let out these howling screams. Giving ua permission to let yourself go. Be your most pure self as this album takes you on a journey. I don’t mean to make this album sound depressing, because even though there’re numerous allusions to death it is quite hopeful. You get to LIVE because one day you will die. It makes life more important because it has an ending.  This album doesn’t have a lot of hooks on it, but it just makes it more important to listen to it as an album. It’s one big piece that feels so right together. It’s hard to imagine anyone having as creatively successful year as Big Thief did in 2019. Kind of apt they got it in right before the end of a decade. A necessary end, I think.

Favorite Track: Cattails

6. Mini Dresses – Heaven Sent

Listening to Mini Dresses’ “Heaven Sent” feels like I found some hidden album demo from the early 2000s that was secretly a masterpiece. I truly do not know why hardly anyone seems to be talking about this album. If it came out in 2008 it feels like it would have been huge on indie blogs. This album is so catchy and a style of indie rock that doesn’t seem to be big anymore, which is a shame because it’s too good to miss. This album reminds me of Blondie if they would have been part of the indie wave of the mid-2000s, which if that sounds cool to you, please check this album out.

Favorite Track: Rank and File

5. Better Oblivion Community Center – Better Oblivion Community Center

After hearing “Would You Rather” on Phoebe Bridgers’ phenomenal debut album “Stranger in the Alps,” I suppose we were all secretly hoping for more songs from Conor Oberst and Phoebe. There are few songwriters that can capture the feeling of loneliness and emptiness, but still have that sense of hope that it can somehow get better like these two can. “If you’re not feeling ready, there’s always tomorrow” on their last song “Dominos” really hits that point home. Their voices sound great together and the production on this album is fantastic. They’ve got the hooks, they’ve got the ballads, and they’re ready to make you cry, but they will be the first ones to help pick you back up. This album feels like an old friend that knows you get sad sometimes, but is always there for you when you need them.

Favorite Track: Dylan Thomas

4. glass beach – the first glass beach album

There’s nothing better than when a band just goes for it on an album. I haven’t listened to an album that has made me think of emo, Disney, Hellogoodbye, and Playstation video game soundtracks all before I’ve even made it to track 5. It’s like they threw everything on the wall and everything stuck. I would not be surprised to find out that this band is around my age. It sounds like an album that only someone who grew up in the 90’s and early 2000’s could make.  Just picking sounds from everything in that era and making an album out of it. It’s pure chaos, but somehow completely makes sense. This album is not for everybody, but if it clicks with you, it’s like it’s looking into your soul.

Favorite track:  cold weather

3. Slaughter Beach Dog – Safe and Also No Fear

I was a big fan of Modern Baseball, like all good emo revival fans should be, and was super sad to hear they were going on indefinite hiatus. When I heard Jake Ewald was starting a new project as Slaughter Beach Dog, I checked out some songs from his album “Birdie” but didn’t really connect with it. Probably because I wanted something more like Modern Baseball. Then when this album came out, it had some buzz from critics whose opinions on music closely line up with mine, and I checked out this album. Whatever opinion I had on the first album, this one was the exact opposite. I really connected with. Listening to it feels like those times where you visit your old hometown, driving around the old spots you used to hang out. Then you realize these spots don’t mean what they did to you anymore, and they never could. No matter how much old friends want you to be that old person again, you can’t go backwards and you’re fine with that. This is also a beautiful sounding record. It sounds like Jake let the other musicians have a bit more say in the sound, and it does sound like a band collaboration. It’s a sweet indie/folk/alternative sound that just pierces my soul. If we don’t get another Modern Baseball reunion, that’s fine. It sounds like Jake has moved on, and I’m ready to follow wherever his new music takes him.

Favorite Track: Black Oak

2. Sharon Van Etten – Remind Me Tomorrow

It’s always exciting to witness an artist make the album they were always meant to. All of her work has lead up to her masterpiece. You feel her soul on this record. Not one moment feels faked. She’s not hiding anything from the listener. Talking about letting go of your past self (I Told You Everything), making a new version of yourself (Comeback Kid), letting yourself love again (Jupiter 4), and what it’s like to be a mother (Stay). Also, on this record she embraces the synth and it makes for some tremendous production. The anthems have an extra kick to them. Not only is this a terrific album for 2019, but one of the standouts of the decade from an artist who already had an impressive discography these past ten years. I’m not sure where she will go next, but I’m hoping this is a sign of what to expect from her in the 2020s.

Favorite Track: Seventeen

1. Purple Mountains – Purple Mountains

This is my favorite album of 2019, and it’s not even close. I was not familiar with David Berman until I heard the first couple singles before the album came out. His name was one that I heard critics tweet about or referenced by other artists, but had never really checked out his music. However, after hearing “All My Happiness is Gone” and “Darkness and Cold” I could not get enough of this music. The melodies were incredibly catchy, I thought the lyrics were super memorable, and they just felt like they really connected with me. He sounded like a natural storyteller, and I was hooked on every word he said. I’m not usually a lyrics person, but I paid attention when I heard these songs. Then when the album came out, it was a treasure trove of an album that I could really dive into. This heartland country sound with a terrific backing band, Woods, complimenting David Berman’s unique voice. I loved it immediately. Then when the tragic news came out of David Berman’s passing, it hit me hard. It’s difficult to talk about this album without acknowledging David committed suicide shortly after it was released. However, I don’t think of this album as a suicide note. This really felt like an album about life. There are struggles, but there are the good moments too. Find the happiness where you can. Margaritas at the mall, that lovely connection of a child with their parent, and if the snow is falling and it’s looking bad, enjoy how warm it will be inside. Berman’s legacy will be everything he contributed to culture; his poetry, his wit, his dark humor, and especially the music. Every once in awhile now when I hear “All My Happiness is Gone” on the radio or if it comes up on a shuffled playlist, my eyes start to well up. Not because I’m sad, but because I’m happy David shared a piece of his soul with us. That’s the real power of music.

Favorite Track: All My Happiness is Gone

[spacetalin]

Interview with Crystal Cola

Hi, Crystal Cola! Thanks for agreeing to speak with us about your music and other stuff! Tell us please, how was your project created?

I first started this project back in late 2015 just for fun. I didn’t plan on releasing anything at that time and just wanted to challenge myself to create music influenced by my favorite artists and video games. After I recorded a few songs, I thought to release it for feedback and people seemed to really like it, so I decided to take it further and eventually made my first album, Ocean Breeze.

https://youtu.be/2irEYetjQe4

When someone’s talking about original city pop music, it’s mainly about Japan during the economic bubble of the second half of the 1980s and j-pop artists of that time. In your opinion, does the modern city pop have these elements which were in 1980`s music? Can modern city pop be regarded as a sort of vaporwave music?

If there was any kind of influence economically on the music from the bubble era, I don’t think the economy of today is the same as it was back then since we are in more of a recession now. I think it could be that we are looking back at a time of great prosperity and want to re-create the feeling of that era by making music that sounds like the kind from that time period. I suppose you can say it’s got elements of the vaporwave pastiche, but that also feels like it takes away from some of the truly solid efforts of musicians making new city pop.

What is the source of your creativity? In your opinion, where’s the source of 80`s Japanese pop uniqueness and why it`s the huge source of future funk remixes?

I think like most of my peers, we like this style of music because it was popular when we were young and listening to it and writing music like this feels very nostalgic. In Japan there was city pop but in the west, there was similar music like yacht rock, jazz fusion and even music in anime, which was becoming popular and mainstream in the west, so we were all exposed to this style in one way or another. Future funk uses these songs as a source because they have this nostalgic quality and much city pop is disco influenced which lends itself to be remixed easily because of the 4/4 time signature.

Tell us your secret: how do you manage to achieve such atmospheric sounds like from 80`s retro anime or TV shows? What is the world created in your music?

The best way to achieve the sounds from the 80s is to use technology from that time period. Synthesizers and VST’s based on synthesizers from that time period are what I use. The Korg M1 is used a lot in my songs, along with the D50 and DX7. I spent a while researching equipment set ups by city pop musicians. I also watched a lot of Youtube videos of them playing live to see playing techniques and instrument rigs. Analyzing songs was very helpful to me when it came to constructing my own music. I grew up with retro anime, so it remains a big influence on my music and some of that songwriting comes naturally.

If talking about something closely connected with Japan, it`s impossible not to say about anime. Do you think old anime is better than modern? Name us your three most beloved titles!

A lot of my favourite anime is older, but there is a lot of great new anime’s now! One Punch Man, Mob Psycho 100 are excellent new anime, and my friend introduced me to an anime called Overlord which I really like. My top 3 anime however are Kimagure Orange Road, Ranma 1/2, and FLCL. I’ve heard really good things about Heart Cocktail and I want to watch that next!

Imagine that you got in 1986 in Tokyo`s center, say, through time travel. Your next steps?

Hmm, after a period of panic, probably I’d try to figure out how to get to the Air Records HQ and try to work with my favourite artists from the time period, as unlikely as that would be, haha.

Have you ever performed anywhere with your music? If not, do you have any plans to do so? What would you prefer: to play on 100% Electronicon fest or some small concert area somewhere in Japan?

I have not performed live yet, though I am not opposed to it. I would have to work out the logistics of performing it live, I’m not sure how I’d do that. I think I’d rather start with a small concert area before moving on to a bigger festival event.

I noticed that on Bandcamp fan page you have many chillwave releases and not a single one city pop album. Do you plan to close your project in future and move to chillwave?

A lot of my friends in the online music scene are in the chillwave genre. I was introduced to them after meeting my friend A.L.I.S.O.N. We both enjoyed each other’s music and began working together on some things which led us to other artists who we all talk with on the chillsynth community discord group. While I am a part of this group, I wouldn’t describe my style as chillwave. I’ve tried making music in this style, such as the song Zenith from my EP Orion, but I didn’t feel it was very successful, my style is too city pop at heart, haha. No, I don’t think I will stop my city pop style. In fact, my next album is looking to be even more city pop than my previous releases.

https://soundcloud.com/crystalcola/zenith

So the last question is: your project is anonymous and you asked me to not talk about your person and geographic location. Do you think the anonymity of an artist is an important part of the music aesthetics or it`s something else?

I dont think it’s important to the aesthetic as there has been many artists who are not anonymous and do quite well with fans. For me, I just like having my music as the centre of attention rather than myself, so I try to maintain a distance from it if I can.

Thanks a lot for this talk! Hope this meeting is not the last one. Arigato!

Thank you for the questions and thank you for the love and support! I really appreciate everyone who listens to my music! You are all the reason why I continue to release music! どうもありがとうございました！

______________________

CRYSTAL COLA BANDCAMP: crystalcola.bandcamp.com/

TWITTER: twitter.com/Crystal_Cola

YOUTUBE:www.youtube.com/channel/UCwFCCP_wvhV4Svq5BYEzsBg

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/crystal_cola_/

SOUNDCLOUD: soundcloud.com/crystalcola

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] NCT DREAM interview for ‘Urbanlike’ March 2019!

RENJUN  “It feels like an age where you start having a sense of responsibility”

A soft and quiet voice, with a strange power to it, has made me focus. No matter how carefully he’s chosen his next words with his endlessly soft voice, there was a weight of seriousness to it. Even as he was shooting the calm atmosphere around him remained unchanged. Quietly nodding to the photographer’s orders, with the end of each cut he was looking at his face in pictures and continuously kept correcting his expression and gestures. Like a person that keeps asking themselves questions just to find answers. But when asked to describe himself in 3 words, without hesitation he says that three words aren’t enough. It was something he answered because he knows well what kind of a person he is and what charms he possesses. Is there anything more powerful than knowing yourself well? It seems like now Renjun’s canvas will be filled with countless colours. The countless images in his head have become one solid piece of art. 

First day of the new year Along with my family in Korea, we had some meat, shared stories and spent it in a cozy atmosphere.

The most memorable moment of last year It’s the most recent memory anyway, it was the last day that was the most memorable. When the 2019 bells started ringing I couldn’t believe I’ve just become an adult. (laughs)

Something I’m into lately Drawing. Imagining animals that don’t exist in this world and then drawing them has become my hobby lately. Expressing animals that live in your head is really fun.

Song from your playlist that you play on repeat the most I listen to NCT DREAM’s most recent track ‘Candle Light’ a lot. The more I listen to it with interest the more I don't get tired of it, I hear more details of the member's voices part by part

The most fun thing Imagining things. It’s fun to imagine things you’ve been always curious about. Thoughts on becoming 20 years old It feels like an age where you start having a sense of responsibility. Sometimes I realise that I’m 20, sometimes I don’t. As nice as it is, it’s a bit of a shame that I can’t go back to my teenage years that have just ended.

Something I want to do upon becoming an adult I want to go backpacking on my own. Wherever is good. I want to travel freely and go out with local friends I’d make. Also now that I’m an adult I want to try a usual album promotion! I want to try something a bit more adult like. 

JENO “I thought that maybe being 20 years old could be my life’s turning point”

Being 20 years old came to Jeno with a bit of a different meaning. Rather than giving him a sense of freedom, he first felt like it’s a shame that he has to abandon his 19 year old self, he wanted to cling onto the ever passing time that couldn’t be helped. An age somewhere in the middle of being a kid and an adult. Being able to be both innocent like a kid at times, then be mature like an adult, it’s an age he wishes to remain at, says Jeno who’s got a lot of emotions buried within him. “I thought that maybe being 20 years old could be my life’s turning point”. If he was still closer to being a young and immature teenager since birth until now, it’s because Jeno is transitioning into adulthood only now.  Standing on the starting line again, Jeno has tried to see his true self. Not knowing how to approach his adult image, he’s decided to go through each one. Wanting to grow up into a good adult, the boy’s desire has only gotten stronger. His future journey is the reason why he’s not scared. The most memorable moment of last year December 31st, the year-end music show was the most memorable. It was the last stage as a 19 year old, so I was more stressed than usual and only thought of making it even more perfect. It was a day of thinking “Now I’m really 20 years old huh” after happily getting off the stage, so I was a bit excited. Apart from that, it’s not much different. (laughs)

Thoughts on becoming 20 years old Rather than feeling like I’m 20, I’m still in the phase of being more sad that my teenage years have ended. So I like to think that turning 20 is life’s turning point. Because I think that my life started with being born until being 19 years old, and then it starts again at age of 20, so I’d like this year to become a time when I carve out new life goals or mindset. I want to become an adult that will find his true self and find aspects to compliment him one by one, in my head, I want to grow into an image like this.

Something you want the most upon becoming an adult I’ve talked about this before, but rather than becoming someone with a flashy exterior, I want to be someone who can be overflowing with aura even when being reserved, someone with inner coolness. I’ll put this goal in place by consistently reading books this year.

Something you’re into latelyThere’s nothing like that these days. Last year I liked making things so I was collecting plastic models, and now I’m trying to find something else. As it’s a new year something I think about the most anyways is wanting to show a new, better image to our fans. I want to meet them soon.

Musical influence I still haven’t watched <Bohemian Rhapsody>. I’m saving it up to watch it by myself, as a lot of people who have watched it said it felt like watching what Queen’s music and music, in general, is to them. I think that just by listening to the story I’ve gotten a grip on myself. 

Future dream I want to become a singer that can be loved by anyone at any time. I want to grow into an artist that’s well-rounded skill and sense wise. I’ve learned so much through ‘NCT DREAM SHOW’. I’ve experienced so many new stages that could’ve only been done at ‘NCT DREAM SHOW’, so in the future, I’ll showcase an even better image.

JAEMIN “There's only one thing I hope for (and that is) becoming an artist the fans can be proud of.”

Jaemin was good at being the mood maker during the shoot. His "HAHAHA!" hoot of laughter made the members next to him start laughing with him and turned the atmosphere of the shoot as cheerful as possible. Even though the shoot started early in the morning, everyone was able to give a wholesome impression thanks to Jaemin's bright energy who filled the set. Although there was the expression of a serious Jaemin somewhere contained in the camera, he always had a bright appearance behind the camera. "There is this thing around the coming-of-age ceremony. It's the day you receive perfume and flowers and get kisses, right. I think it would be nice if the members gave each other kisses too." Jaemin, who expresses his affection and aegyo to the members without hesitation, straightened up and set all jokes aside the moment it was time to talk about their fans 'Czennies'. (It's was like) watching the moment a butterfly, who was dancing in the air with its wings, landed on a petal when Jaemin began talking in a low voice. On that spot, Jaemin's sincerity that came from the deepest point of the heart was blooming.

First day of the new year On January 1st, I went home and ate with my mother. In commemoration of me becoming an adult, my mother poured me a glass of alcohol. The taste, after having a sip 'Oh?', is like this? (laughter) I concluded that it does not fit well with me. Haha!

Thoughts on becoming 20 years old To be honest, I have yet to grasp the feeling of turning 20 years old. During the New-Year celebration, I felt like the feeling of 'I'm still 19 years old' was stronger. However, after turning 20 years old, people around me have been saying "since you're an adult now, let's act more responsible". Thanks to that, I think I have to be more careful about everything now.

The most memorable moment of last year Wouldn't it be receiving my id-card? It was the first thing I did while waiting to become an adult. I felt proud looking at my card with my photo, address, and fingerprint on it.

Something I’m into lately Collecting limited edition album is my hobby. I think its beauty is being able to listen to songs on the CD that you wouldn't be able to find on (streaming) sites. 

Song from your playlist that you play on repeat the most The way I like to listen to songs is not by just looking at the song title and playing those first, but rather listening to the whole album. Whatever song I'm listening to, I listen to it from the beginning to the end. There are songs that I like from the first time I listen to them and there are songs that get better after repeating it several times. But one song I like a lot lately is Gallant's Gentle man. Musical influence I think 'Czennies'. We were able to release songs because we have fans. I gain strength to work harder because there are people who listen to our songs. Rather than other artists, I think the existence of the Czennies is bigger than any other driving force to show my full potential.

Future dream There's only one thing I hope for (and that is) becoming an artist the fans can be proud of. It's my goal is to make sure that the fans can confidently say "our idol/singer is really good!". I want to become an artist who can always make his fans smile. I want to make the fans smile bigger this year. We know well that we wouldn't be able to exist without our fans.

CHENLE  “I have the most fun when I’m on stage. When I go on stage I’m not sleepy or tired.”

If Chenle had to be described in one sentence, wouldn’t the expression ‘bright’ be the most appropriate? He’s a boy whose eyes shine the brightest when he talks about things he likes. With a voice raising by about a half Chenle keeps on talking clearly, his facial expression loaded with happiness. But even then as he kept an eye on the members who were ready to shoot first, the thoughtful boy wanted to say that “Me, as well as Jisung, always like to do it with self-confidence. Like right now it’s always fun and happy so we’re enjoying ourselves.” to Jisung who was sat next to him. In the future he dreams of flying around a basketball court like Stephen Curry and the days he and his members will sing and dance, combining their strength together like Avengers to save the world. In these dreams Chenle sparkles and shines more than ever, smiling brightly.

First day of the new year I went to my hometown Shanghai. I spent time with my family whom I haven’t seen in a while. The most memorable moment of last year ‘We Go Up’ promotions were the most memorable. It was the most fun then. Jisung crying when he saw we were high up in the digital music charts has stayed in my memory. (laughs)

Something I’m into lately I’m always into basketball. Especially NBA! I’m the biggest fan of Stephen Curry.

Song from your playlist that you play on repeat the most NCT 127’s ‘Simon Says’. I always listen to it repeatedly. Even now it’s still the same

The most fun thing It’s the most fun when I’m on stage. Sometimes when we’re preparing for early stages I feel sleepy and at the practices I get tired, but the moment I go stage I’m not sleepy or tired. The most recent year-end music show was really fun.

If you were to describe yourself in 3 words Lively, cute, smart. I’m lively by nature. Lately, I hear that I’m cute a lot. (laughs) And I think I’m the smartest in NCT DREAM. I don’t know if the members will agree! HahaMovie I like The Shawshank Redemption that my dad has recommended to me last year! It’s an extremely touching movie. I also like Marvel movies like Avengers or The Amazing Spiderman 2. 

JISUNG  “I want to grow more. Personally, and as a team.”

Even when his expression is blank and he gets quite the look, he comes back to his boyish image immediately the moment he smirks a little. When he’s standing in front of the camera wearing a gray suit, staring into the lenses intensely, touching his hair with an expression full of curiosity and then puts on that bright smile of his it seems like he can switch between being a boy and an adult freely, just like that. But the 18 year old maknae Jisung is always happy promoting with NCT DREAM. “When I first joined the company I was 12 years old. I was 8 years old when I started dancing so I’ve been walking this path for over a half of my life. So I want to keep growing even more. Personally, and as a team”. Jisung whose eyes can’t be described by words ‘boy’ or ‘adult’, rather than focusing on the time spent walking knows to look at the path ahead instead. A singer, artist - Jisung is these in himself. What I’m saying is, when he’s on the stage his dancing is more refined and skillful than anyone else’s.

First day of the new year I went home and had some food with my family, we rewatched the year-end music show together too so it was a really happy time. The most memorable moment of last year It feels like 2018 passed quicker than the other year. On January 1st we had the first practice for ‘NCT 2018 EMPATHY’ album and then in autumn, we did our best with ‘We Go Up’ album promotions. It felt like it just kept going without a break. Every moment of 2018 was memorable. It has become special to me personally.

Something I’m into latelyI’m into reading these days. I especially like books that go back to your childhood like <The Little Prince>. I’m still young, but as I get older I forget the pure heart of the child me, so reading a children’s book helps me every time I feel like this.

Song from your playlist that you play on repeat the most I like all songs by EXO hyungs. Recently I’ve been listening to ‘Been Through’ often, the beat is unique and the lyrics are good too. It has a creative and cool feeling when you listen to it. It’s just my style. (laughs)

The most fun thing Thinking. When I think I feel like a person. I’m not good at drawing like Renjun hyung, I can’t draw an animal that doesn’t exist in this world with a pencil. But I can draw everything well in my head when I think.

If you were to describe yourself in 3 words Black, future, curiosity. First of all I like the black colour. It’s dark but it’s because it can absorb any other colour. The word future is young anyways so in my heart I’m anticipating how my own future will unfold. And lastly curiosity, ever since I was little I was very curious. Even now there are so many things I’m curious about.

Movie I like I like animes like <Your Name> or <The Girl Who Leapt Through Time>. Rather than movies with a definite ending, I prefer those with open endings that allow me to imagine the end how I like it

Q&A

Favourite food JN: Sushi. Ever since I was little it’s something me and my parents have been eating the most often and my entire family likes it. JM: Home food (stir fried pork, ribs, soybean paste, soybean soup) RJ: On cold days I like warm hot pot the most. CL: Veggies, fruits, milk, water, pork neck, ribs, hot pot, lamb skewers, Chinese stir fried veggies, and stir fried chicken with tomatoes! JS: Ramyeon, fast food, whenever I eat these they’re good. But I think about my health so I don’t eat it often.

Member best at cooking and their best dish JN: Whatever Jaemin cooks is good, it seems he likes to keep seeing us eat deliciously. Jaemin’s roasted ribs are just in my style. JM: Me! Give me any ingredients and I’ll cook anything. Haha. RJ: Jaemin. He makes really tasty soy sauce egg bibimbap. CL: Me. There’s nothing I can’t cook. I can do anything. (laughs) JS: Jaemin hyung cooks a lot and it’s all delicious!

Food I’d like to eat the most right now JN: Ice cream. I want to eat ice cream more during the winter JM: Rice. Wherever I go as long as there's rice and side dishes I have no problem! RJ: I always want to eat hot pot. CL: The thing that comes to my mind right now is SPAM. I have never tried it before so I’m always curious about it! JS: The tastiest thing in the world is love. As long as I receive love from you guys I’m full. (laughs)

Food I eat on special days JN: Seaweed soup. It’s my favourite food that my mom makes. JM: It has to be meat on special days. Ribs, beef! Even better if there’s some rice and bean paste stew too. RJ: Hot pot that my mom makes. CL: Chinese stir fried veggies are the best! JS: Lately I want to eat so man things it’s really hard for me to pick just one thing from the menu. But isn’t homemade food the best? 

Food I dislike (or can't eat) JN: Oysters. I remember eating an oyster when I was young and I think I have not eaten it since then. JM: Fermented Stingray. RJ: Coriander is the hardest for me to eat. CL: Wasabi JS: I almost cannot eat all sorts of seafood. Especially oysters

Translation: Alex, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: (1, 2) — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

[buzzdixonwriter]

Cowboys And Cavemen

This one’s gonna meander, but it’s about cavemen and cowboys and dinosaurs, so some of you may wanna stick around…

. . .

Recently watched the colorized version of One Million B.C. with Victor mature, Carole Landis, and Lon Chaney Jr.

I remember frequently watching the original black & white version of this as a kid; it popped up on local Early Shows a lot primarily because it could be chopped down to fit an hour’s running time without losing too much of the story (Early Shows were afternoon movies with a local host that typically ran only 90 minutes from 4:30-6pm; with commercials and host segments there wasn’t much room for uncut films and as a result they featured a lot of B-movies with 65 minute running times, or else cut out sequences from longer films not germane to the plot).

The colorized version surprised me in a couple of ways.  

First, I’d forgotten just how well done One Million B.C. is in basic film making terms:  Once past the opening scene, in which an archeologist explains some cave drawings to a group of mountaineers who then imagine themselves in prehistoric times, there’s no recognizable dialog; the film is told in purely visual terms.

Second, the colorization was incredibly sloppy:  There’s a lot of weird blue artifacting going on that lays a strange mist-like quality over several scenes, and in several places the colorists inexplicably either colored the actors’ bare legs blue or else overlooked the mistake in the final color correction.

Third, the sloppy colorization doesn’t matter:  If anything, it adds to the weird dream-like quality of the film.  As an attempt to realistically recreate the prehistoric past, it’s gawdawful; taken as the imaginings of an average contemporary 1940s person with no real knowledge of prehistoric times (viz the prolog), and it’s pretty entertaining.

Technically the movie is a mixed bag.  The special effects are pretty seamless (yeah, you can tell when something is a rear screen shot, but then again rear screen shots in every film of that era were obvious)).  A travelling matte shot of a hapless cavewoman buried under a flood of lava is particularly well done and as amazing today as it was then (though the colorists dropped the ball and didn’t tint it a vivid red or orange in the colorized version).

There’s a lot of monsters, but they range from well done to just plaine…well…

The best are a woolly mammoth (i.e., an elephant in shaggy fur costume) and a baby triceratops (a large pig in costume) that really seem to capture the essence pf those creatures.

The worst is a guy in an allosaurus suit who kinda just shuffles along like a grandparent going to the bathroom, and in the middle are various lizards dressed up with fins and horns.

The lizards bother me more and more over the years.  At first it was because they were disappointing -- they don’t look like dinosaurs, dammit, but like lizards with fins and horns glued on -- but now it’s because I realize they were goaded by their handlers into fights and reactions shots.

That’s plain ol’ animal cruelty, even if they are reptiles and not mammals.

There’s an armadillo and a koala-like animal that appear thousands of times their normal size.  The koala-like critter (sorry, but I don’t know what it actually is) is passable as a giant cave bear or sloth, but the armadillo is just an armadillo (there was something about armadillos that 1930s audience found creepy; they’re waddling all over the Count’s hiding place in the original Dracula).

One Million B.C. was produced by Hal Roach and Hal Roach Jr.  The senior Roach goes all the way back to the silent era, so this was not a huge stretch for him.  

Originally D.W. Griffith was to direct the film, but while he did a lot of pre-production work including screen and wardrobe tests, he either dropped out or was replaced on the eve of production.  (Reportedly he wanted the cave tribes to speak recognizable English and left when Roach refused.)

The special effects wound up in a ton of movies and TV shows over the ensuing decades; modern audiences are more familiar with the film through 1950s sci-fi than its original version.

All else aside, the picture is carried by stars Victor Mature and Carole Landis.  Ms Landis in particular is a spunky, charming cave gal with a blonde-fro and while Mature would never be an Oscar contender, he at least has the physicality and screen presence to get his character across.

The scene where he thinks Landis has died in a volcanic eruption may be corny, but you can feel his character’s grief.

. . .

A quarter of a century later it was remade as One Million Years B.C. with John Richardson in the Victor mature role and Raquel Welch in the Landis role.  

No disrespect to Welch, who by all accounts is a nice person, but she never showed one iota the acting chops of Carole Landis.  Welch is beautiful, and as a generic pin-up model cast as a film’s “sexy lamp” (look it up), she presented appealing eye-candy.  She appeared in one good sci-fi film (Fantastic Voyage), one campy monster movie (i.e., One Million Years B.C.), two incredibly campy WTF-were-they-thinking movies (The Magic Christian and Myra Breckenridge), and a host of instantly forgettable spy films and Westerns.  The best movies she appeared in were Fuzz, based on the 87th Precinct novels by Ed McBain (a.k.a. Evan Hunter nee Salvatore Lombino), where she did an acceptable supporting turn as a police detective, and Kansas City Bomber, a roller derby movie that many consider her best role.

Landis never enjoyed the same level of fame (or notoriety, depending on your POV) that Welch did, but holy cow, could the gal act.  It’s a pity Hollywood is crowded with talented, beautiful people because she certainly deserved a bigger career capstone than One Million B.C..

Welch’s personal life certainly proved less traumatic than Landis’, however.  When actor Rex Harrison broken off his affair with her rather than divorce his wife, Landis committed suicide.

The scandal exiled Harrison temporarily back to England.  A few years later One Million B.C. and Landis’ other films started playing on television.

Who knows what opportunities may have opened for her in that medium?

. . .

The original One Million B.C.  is vastly superior in all areas but one (well, two -- mustn’t leave out the catfight between Welch and Martine Beswick):  Ray Harryhausen’s stop motion dinosaurs

Mind you, most of the dino scenes in One Million Years B.C. are underwhelming.  To stretch the budget the producers used close ups of spiders and an iguana to simulate giant monsters, a brontosaurus does a walk through in one scene and never appears again, and the first big dino moment has cave gals poking sharp sticks at a big sea turtle.

On the other hand, the remaining trio of dino scenes are the aces and vastly superior to their corresponding scenes in One Million B.C..  The latter film’s allosaur attack is one of the best dino scenes ever animated, and the ceratosaurus vs triceratops battle followed by the pteranodon grabbing Welch are almost as good.

Both versions of the film had an interesting influence on films that followed.  One Million Years B.C. was followed by a host of prehistoric films, most of which existed only to cast voluptuous actresses in fur bikinis although When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth, a direct follow-up, offered more monsters and a better story.

While One Million B.C. wasn’t the first film to sub real life lizards for dinos, it certainly told budget conscious producers that such substitutions were okay.

The 1959 version of Journey To The Center Of The Earth cast iguanas with glued on fins as dimetrodons, and for once the impersonation proved successful as the two species do bear certain similarities.

Producer Irwin Allen (he of Lost In Space and Towering Inferno fame) hired Willis O;Brien (the animator behind the original King Kong) and his then assistant Ray Harryhausen to do accurate-for-the-era stop motion dinosaurs for The Animal World documentary but apparently frustrated by the time it took to get results opted for lizards in his version of The Lost World (which, ironically, O’Brien worked on in a non-animation capacity despite having done the original silent version of the film with stop motion dinosaurs).

I saw Allen’s Lost World as a little boy and felt grossly disappointed by the obvious lizards, especially since the script identified them as belong to specific dinosaur species when they quite clearly didn’t (had the script said they evolved from such creatures, the way the most recent version of King Kong did, it would have been less egregious).

Allen’s lizards popped up in several TV shows he did, most notably the TV version of Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea.  That show’s co-star David Hedison played a supporting role in The Lost World so once a season they found some excuse to get him out of his Navy uniform and into a safari jacket in order to match footage with stock shots from the movie.

The Animal World wasn’t the first time O’Brien and Harryhausen worked together, and Harryhausen followed up One Million Years B.C. with The Valley Of Gwangi, an O’Brien project that the older effects artist never got off the ground.

. . .

Let’s back up a bit to discuss “O’Bie” (as his fans refer to him).

O’Brien was a former cowboy-turned-cartoonist around the early 20th century who became interested in animation.

Movies were in their infancy then, and O’Bie shot a short test reel of two clay boxers duking it out.

This got him financing to do a series of short films ala The Flintstones with titles like Rural Delivery, One Million B.C. (the titles were often longer than the films).

These shorts featured cartoony puppets, no actual actors.  O’Bie followed it up with The Ghost Of Slumber Mountain which was the first time dinosaurs were animated in an attempt to make them look real, and that was followed by The Lost World in which O’Bie combined live action with special effects, climaxing the film with a brontosaurus running amok in London.

O’Bie wanted to follow it up with a film called Creation but that got deep sixed.  However, producer Merian C. Cooper saw O’Bie’s test footage for Creation and hired him to do the effects for the legendary King Kong.

While O’Bie followed that success with the quickie Son Of Kong he never got to work on a dinosaur film of such scope again.

War Eagles (a lost-civilization-with-dinos story) was supposed to have been a big follow up epic, but the Depression and the growing threat of WWII caused it to be cancelled in pre-production.

During the 1940s O’Bie pitched a number of stories to studios involving dinosaurs or other monsters encountering cowboys, one of which was Gwangi (he also pitched King Kong vs Frankenstein which eventually got made as King Kong vs Godzilla using two guys in rubber suits, not his beloved stop motion effects).

Gwangi had cowboys discovering a lost canyon inhabited by dinosaurs, chief of which being Gwangi, an allosaurus.  O’Bie never got Gwangi off the ground but decades later Harryhausen did with Valley Of Gwangi.

. . .

I never cared for Valley Of Gwangi and much preferred One Million Years B.C. over it (and, no, not because of Ms Welch).

Growing up in the 1950s and early 1960s, I enjoyed cowboys as much as dinosaurs.

I’ve posted elsewhere how my interest in dinosaurs led me to dinosaur movies which led to monster movies which led to science fiction movies which led to literary science fiction which led to science fiction fandom which led to my writing career, but my genre of choice before age 10 was Westerns.

As others point out, most Westerns are actually crime stories, what with bandits robbing stagecoaches and banks, rustlers making off with cattle, etc.  The climax usually involves a lawman (or a vigilante who carries the weight of the law) confronting the evil doers and bringing them to justice.

Sometimes these vigilantes wore masks (Zorro and the Lone Ranger).  Sometimes those they pursued wore masks, and sometimes those masked villains pretended to be ghosts or phantoms.

They weren’t, and were invariably exposed as frauds.

Westerns based themselves in a rational world.

Other times a criminal in a Western would be after some invention that could bring either a great boon (say an energy source) or great harm (a death ray) to the world, and wanted it for their own selfish ends.

The story would invariably use the invention as a mcguffin device, maybe letting it figure into the villain’s eventual comeuppance, but never really influencing the outcome of the plot.

Westerns and fantasy genres (including science fiction) don’t mix well, The Wild Wild West not withstanding (and The Wild Wild West was not a Western per se but rather what we would now call a steampunk commentary on James Bond filtered through the lens of traditional American Westerns).

(And don’t bring up Gene Autry And The Phantom Empire, just…don’t…)

Dinosaurs and cowboys don’t really go together.

That didn’t stop O’Bie from trying.

In addition to Gwangi, O’Bie had two other projects that he did get off the ground:  The Brave One and The Beast From Hollow Mountain.

The Beast From Hollow Mountain is a standard Western about mysterious cattle disappearances and quarrels over who might be responsible, only to discover in the end it’s really -- surprise!  surprise! -- a solitary tyrannosaurus that somehow survived since prehistoric times.

The movie is constructed in such a way that had the dinosaur element not panned out, they could have removed it and substituted a more conventional ending.

While O’Bie didn’t work directly on the film after he sold the story, it did feature a variant of stop motion animation known as replacement animation.  Instead of building a realistic looking puppet with rubber skin and posable limbs, the dino in Beast was more solid and featured interchangeable limbs that could stretch and squash in a more realistic manner (rather, the movement looked more realistic, the dino sculpture no so much…).

The Brave One started life as a story about a young Mexican boy who raises a prize bull for the ring, only to have the bull face an allosaurus in the ring instead of a matador.

The producers who bought that idea hired blacklisted screenwriter Dalton Trumbo to turn it into something filmable, and Trumbo sensibly jettisoned the dino to focus the story on the boy and his bull, much to the film’s advantage (it won an Oscar for best story when released, but Trumbo’s heirs had to wait decades before the award could be recognized as due their father).

The Valley Of Gwangi was yet another variant on the same basic idea, more expansive than the other two in terms of dinosaurs, and with at least a nod in the direction of trying to explain them (a “lost canyon” giving them shelter instead of a mountain plateau or remote island).

It never connected with me, despite having more extensive dino sequences than One Million Years B.C..

O’Bie animated stop motion cowboys fighting a giant ape in the original version of Mighty Joe Young but the context proved different.  The cowboys’ presence in Africa is acknowledge in the film itself as a publicity gimmick, and therefore not a true blend of the American West with a fantastic element.

Mr. Joseph Young of Africa himself, a 12-foot tall gorilla, was also presented as an exceptionally large but otherwise natural gorilla, not a throwback to a prehistoric era.

. . .

Before there were action figures, but long after there were tin soldiers, we had plastic play sets.

They came in all eras and varieties, but among the most popular were Wild West sets, Civil War, World War Two, and dinosaurs.

My father took a business trip to Chicago when I was four, and when he came back I remember eagerly crowding around the suitcase with my mother, grandmother, and aunt as he opened it and brought out souvenirs for us.

I forget what they got, but I remember feeling disappointed and forgotten since their stuff was on top.

But, underneath everything else, sat a large cardboard box, and in that box was a Marx Prehistoric Times playset.

It’s hard to adequately describe the joy that filled my heart when I opened it; it was one of the best presents I’ve ever received.

And while I later acquired a Civil War set and a World War Two set and a bag of what we then called cowboy and Indian figures, the dinosaurs remained my most favorite.

I bring this up because I think the Marx playsets explain the origins of two comics books, Turok, Son Of Stone (an on-again / off-again series from 1954 to 1982 from Dell / Gold Key) and The War That Time Forgot (1960-68 from DC).

In both cases, I’m sure somebody from each company saw some kid combing their Wild West or their World War Two playsets with their dinos and realized there was story gold to be found there.

The War That Time Forgot felt much more my speed, a lost island inhabited by dinosaurs and visited by American and Japanese forces during World War Two.

World War Two effectively ended any hope of their being a lost island with prehistoric monsters; pretty much the entire planet was scouted either on foot or by air.

Turok, Son Of Stone didn’t connect with me.  For one thing, it was too much like a Western in concept; for another, Turok and his brother Andar, being pre-Columbian Native Americans, were already from a neolithic culture, and the various cavemen and Neanderthals they encountered in their lost valley seemed more drab and colorless than their tribal background.

The dinosaurs they encountered always came across as large, dangerous, but wholly natural animals, different only from bears and wolves and bison by size and appearance.

Despite my indifference to Turok, I can absolutely understand why others love it and disdain The War That Time Forgot.

Different strokes for different folks.

. . .

We can’t close this without taking a look at The Flintstones, and we can’t consider The Flintstones without first examining Tex Avery’s The First Bad Man in order to bring this post full circle.

There’s a long history (har!) of contemporary satire using a prehistoric lens.  The Flintstones started life as a knockoff of Jackie Gleason’s The Honeymooners told in a prehistoric setting; the series made no attempt to present itself as realistic in any shape, fashion, or form.

Among the many cartoons and short subjects that preceded it (including Chuck Jones’ Daffy Duck And The Dinosaur) is The First Bad Man by Tex Avery, an MGM theatrical cartoon.

Tex told the story of Dinosaur Dan, the world’s first outlaw, using Western tropes told through a prehistoric lens.

It works, because it’s a parody of the Western form, not a sincere effort to blend it with the caveman genre.  It works because it’s a jarring clash of genres, not despite it.

The caveman genre itself has fallen on fallow times.  Despite films like The Quest For Fire and Clan Of The Cave Bear attempting to do realistic takes on the topic, most people seem to prefer more fanciful approaches, best exemplified by the movie Caveman which sent up the entire genre while not skimping on the stop motion dinos.

With sword & sorcery / Tolkienesque fantasies finally acceptable to mass audiences and thus providing a venue for humans to directly fight giant monsters, there doesn’t seem to be a huge demand for a return to the glories of One Million B.C.

  © Buzz Dixon

[defdaily]

[TRANSLATION] Ceci Magazine January 2016 issue x JJ PROJECT

[INTERVIEW] JB & Jinyoung: Ceci January ‘16

“If it’s really a drama, whether it’s a happy ending, or a sad ending, whatever the ending might be it doesn’t matter because we are the drama that never ends. I think we have to continuously try to be happy when we do the job we like.”

- What’ve you been up to? You must’ve been extremely busy with the national <If You Do> promotions and the activities overseas. JB: After the “If You Do” promotion we went on an overseas fan meeting tour. We’ve been busy, but whenever we had time we would compose songs and practice.

- You probably didn’t have a time to take a breather this year too; will you get a break after the year end festivals? Junior: That’s our freedom. Our company gladly accepts our proposals, so if we want to have a bigger bite and work more, we do that, if we want to take a rest, we can. However, we think that now’s the time that GOT7 has to work hard, so I want to continue working. I don’t want to rest (laughs).

- Personally, I think that <If You Do> is a song that marks the turning point for GOT7. What are your thoughts on that? Junior: Rather than a turning point, it was a challenge that could display a different image for GOT7. The colours of the seven GOT7 members are too different to carry on with the same concept all of the time, so even if it’s not something like <If You Do>, I think we will become a group that challenges various concepts in the future.

- You placed 1st at a music program for the first time since your debut, too. Did you feel rewarded for your efforts so far? JB: I think it was a chance that allowed us to feel to a greater extent that our fans have worked together with us. It’s not something we do for the reward, but it did become a driving force that pushes us to work even harder further on. Just like when you get scolded all the time, and then get praised and you automatically work harder.

- JB, you are the centre of the team as its leader, and if you were to grade your performance for the last 2 years, what mark would you give yourself? JB: Hmm, I don’t think I did that well (laughs). I wasn’t even that bossy as a leader, and I didn’t really take the initiative and set an example (laughs). It’s because we have this atmosphere where the members fix everything together by talking about it, in case something happens.

- Junior, what are your thoughts on this? Junior: Actually, I’m not the one to judge, but I think he’s doing really great because the role of a leader is not something fancy, it’s a silent role.

- You’ve been together since JJ Project days, when do you help each other the most? JB: When I need a serious advice with my worries? It’s just that, the topic is not something personal; we talk more about the direction or the path that GOT7 needs to take in the future. It really helps a lot. Junior: When I get a lot of complicated thoughts. It’s been like this ever since JJ Project. It’s not like I share my worries intentionally, it sort of comes out naturally while talking. When that happens, it helps me to sort out things. JB: We don’t say “Let’s now talk about our worries.” When we talk it just turns into counseling.

- When do you think that you really match well? Junior: (Our) serious character? JB: Yes, that’s right. (laughs) Junior: Some time ago, I used to be noisy, but now I have calmed down. When I need to concentrate, hyung adjusts the atmosphere next to me so that I wouldn’t lose my focus.

- Now that I think of it, you two seem to be really gentle. The gentlest out of all the idols I’ve seen so far (laughs). JB: That’s why we have decided to lighten it up. Both of us. Especially, if we feel that the interview is getting heavier, we tell each other to go “lightly, lightly!” (laughs)

- Your serious disposition may also become your advantage. Aside from that, what is your biggest worry lately? Junior: The worry of how I should live through the cold in winter? JB: Even though we decided to tread lightly, this is too light. (laughs) Junior: I really can’t stand the cold, you know. Was it too light? JB: In my case, it’s “what should I do to become real?” Junior: Isn’t that too heavy? JB: Every group, and every member of a group has an individual colour, right? How do I express GOT7’s colour, and the colour of JB in all that? How does the colour that GOT7 expresses shines to the general public? Rather than constantly following the trend trying to look cool, I’m thinking how we can become the “real” GOT7.

- When you are in a group of men, you also end up fighting, right? How do you solve that? JB: We don’t exchange blows. We solve it by talking. Even though the conversation sounds like an argument (laughs). Junior: We sometimes open a 100-minute debate with the members. JB: If, for example, some members start fighting over something, then we all gather together in one place and talk it through. Junior: If I get into an argument with Jaebeom hyung, then Jackson would say “I think Jaebeom hyung is right,” and another member would go “I think Jinyoung hyung is right,” and like that we mediate everyone’s opinions. Rather than pointing out who did wrong, we reach positive conclusion by saying things like, you should try and correct this point, or you should try and understand where each of you comes from. (laughs)

- I read your previous interviews, both of you seem to like doing something on your own. Is it because you always spend your time surrounded by people? JB: Even if there are many people around, I like doing something on my own in the midst of all that. I have a cat character, so even if you pay no attention to me, I’m the type to do my thing in my own way. Once on my day off I went to a foot of a mountain, but when I found myself in a quiet place with no people I got so frustrated I couldn’t stay there. Junior: I’m the opposite. I enjoy contemplation on my own, read, watch a lot of movies. I watched “Secret Sunshine” yesterday.

- Indeed. I’ve found a lot of talk about books and movies in your previous interviews. Junior: I’m growing to like all things analogue. JB: It’s really nice to read a book on your own with your notebook playing some music at some café in Hongdae.

- Don’t you get recognized if you go to a café? JB: We’re not of that level yet. Junior: And Hongdae is simply far away. It’s okay. (laughs)

- Ey, aren’t you too humble? It’s been almost 2 years since your debut, where do you think GOT7 is at right now? JB: If we compare it to riding a subway, it’s like we’ve just validated our bus card. Junior: That would be the T-money card. Bus card is just for a bus, subway card is for subway. (laughs) JB: At the MAMA ceremony, in behind cut, Big Bang’s Taeyang senior said that he feels like after 10 years he’s finally little by little doing the stages he’s been dreaming about. I also dream big. That’s why now it feels like I’ve made one step forward. Just as he’s said, I’ve just validated my T-money card. (laughs)

- When do you feel the best during your activities? Junior: When I get lost in something when I focus a lot. When I don’t even remember what I was doing, I feel catharsis. JB: When I compose songs. I don’t think I can concentrate this much on anything else.

- These emotions become your driving force, right? Junior: Of course. The moment you think you can’t focus on something you like, you have to stop everything.

- Do you have a role model you look up to? Junior: My father. I think about him a lot lately. Actually, my father will have had it tens of times harder than me. Then I wonder how he managed to go through it without giving himself away to his family, how he looked after a disobedient kid like me for over 22 years.

- But you have an image of an obedient kid who doesn’t cause problems? Junior: That’s just on the outside. (laughs) I always get the feeling that my father is great. I want to be someone like my father. I will become a superman-like dad to my children in the future, too. JB: Before, I used to think a lot who I would want to look up to, but now it’s really hard to pinpoint just one person. The number of people I’ve met and got influenced by has grown, and each of them had different strengths.

- Another year has gone by. What was the year 2015 like? JB: We had a lot of opportunities to stand on stage as GOT7. Personally, it was a year of growth that allowed me to sing, compose, and mull over various thoughts.

- Then, what would you wish for GOT7 in the year 2016? Junior: I hope we get more opportunities to try something new. We always have a team meeting where we talk about what we would like to try doing next year as a team and individually. Starting with the things already planned, I hope this will be a year where we face new opportunities. For example, making an album on our own, or each of us nurturing our capabilities in individual activities and thus making the team grow even more. JB: Since I’ve decided to tread lightly, I’ll go lightly. I wish for a warm year. I wish the year 2016 were healthy and great year full of fighting spirit! (laughs)

- Finally, if you were to say a word to each other? Junior: Let’s really become lighter in the year to come! (laughs) JB: The same. Let’s try to become somewhat lighter. No need to become super light, but it’d be great to become a witty person. Junior: I don’t want to refer to anyone in particular, but when we look at the great artists we admire, whoever that person might be, there’s an optimistic side to them, I think.

- Optimistic people are good with generating interesting and original ideas. (laughs) JB: Actually, I’m an optimistic person, but when I start doing an interview, for some reason, I get too reverent. Junior: Probably because an interview is a type of a “chronicle.” (laughs)

Scans: Jr. RAM

Kor-Eng: Seven Cookies

[elven-ariaera]

Welcome all!

If you’re reading this, I’m assuming you’re familiar with my work as either an artist, cosplayer, writer or any of the other creative things I do. Recently, I had been asked about some of the work that I do, and I thought a fun way to just that was to fill out a few questionnaires. Here I talk about some of the high and low points of doing what I do, what inspires me, and my process of creativity.

For those who are only interested in certain segments, I’ve broken the article into the following sections for you to easily maneuver your way throughout the piece: Art, cosplay, writing, and questions asked by you.

I know I’m no professional and compared to a lot of others I don’t have as outstanding an amount of followers, but if this article can help inspire at least one artist to try something new or learn something they didn’t know, well, that’s good enough for me! I hope you enjoy!

Art

When did you get into art?

I’ve been drawing as long as I can remember, but I do recall middle school in particular being the time that I really started pursuing art. I had to choose between volleyball and art club after school, and guess which one I picked. It wasn’t just academics either. My notebooks were full of fan art of mostly Link and Zelda, but you could find some Kirby, Pokémon, and Naruto scattered in there as well.

Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.

Yeah. It’s… Something.

What defines your artistic style?

I think the faces of the characters I draw distinguish my art. I always have a certain way of drawing the eyes, ears, and other features. I always give my females more prominent eyelashes than males as well. Certain clothing as well — The way I draw capes and hoods are distinct. Not to mention when designing my own clothes, I tend to use similar patterns.

Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?

I occasionally dabble outside my comfort zone. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of the “Cal-Arts” style, but I’ve tried it every now and then, especially when creating fan art for shows like Steven Universe, The Amazing World of Gumball, and Amphibia. I don’t really do it too often, but I’ve made a piece for my portfolio mimicking several art styles from a variety of different shows just to demonstrate that I can do it if I’d like to.

What levels of artistic education have you had?

Honestly, just high school. I thought I was going to college for digital illustrations but it turned out communication/graphic design was totally different. I actually got into that because I could draw when not many other people in that field could. Of course, I’m always interested in learning outside of school. I learn through watching other artists on social media, seeing how they create their work. Just watching a speed draw can help so much! The way I learn the most, however, is just by doing. Practice, practice, practice! 

Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.

I’ve been doing a lot of Fire Emblem doodles for my new sticker line, so here’s Setsuna. Honestly, I just like drawing bust portraits like this.

What is your favorite piece that you have done?

I can’t just pick one! I’ve drawn over 900 things since I first joined DeviantArt (and I’ve been drawing even before then), you want me to pick just one? Haha, I’ll narrow it down to three of my favorites (in no particular order):

I love this one because it was like the first cute drawing of Ivysaur I’ve ever done. Ivysaur was always a tricky pokémon for me to draw, but this was the first time I feel like I nailed it. Ivysaur also happens to be one of my absolute favorites, so that’s a plus.

This is Minerva, a Guardian from my fantasy stories. Every time I drew her prior, I could never quite get the look I wanted. This was the one that I really liked and so I colored it and am very happy with how it turned out.

I don’t know why I just love this drawing I did of Dimitri from Three Houses. I think its the eyes and hair. And the color contrast — especially in the original ink sketch (that I hung up over my craft table.) I just love it.

What is your least favorite piece that you have done?

Again, you want just one? Haha, too many failures. I’ll be fair, though, and post three of those as well.

Here’s one from my early days. I was trying so hard to get the hair all detailed like and instead it came out looking like gross looking veins. Not to mention how atrocious the proportions were. Oh man, I’m sorry past me, I know you tried.

Here’s one I was so proud of: I copied the official art for Twilight Princess and thought it came out amazing. So amazing I titled the piece “Awesomeful Link.” Yeah. Um. Nope.

Here’s a more recent one that I’m not too pleased with. I was so excited about the latest batch of Steven Universe episodes (which I would later learn were a big bunch of filler episodes and that didn’t make anything better) I drew Pearl reciting her ‘big line’ of the trailer. I tried to mix styles and I tried something different with the eyes and all in all it just came out… Meh.

What do you like most about your art?

I like the faces that I draw. They’re always the most fun and I think they come out the best. I especially love the eyes, I go into so much detail on them (even though they’re usually so small when I print them.) I’ve had issues in the past where I made all of my characters look like they had the same face, but I feel I’ve been doing a lot better at individualizing the face of each character and that makes it all the more fun as well.

What do you like least about your art?

The hands. Sometimes I draw them well, but I still struggle hard and sometimes it really shows. For chibi drawings, I don’t really care as much, but on my more “serious” art, I get a little bummed when I’ve got a wonky hand hanging off their wrists. Feet also sometimes give me a bit of trouble, but usually only when I do poses that involve more movement, which is why I sometimes make my art stiffer and I don’t like doing that either.

Have you ever considered taking commissions?

I do take commissions. In fact, I’d love to take more if it were possible.

Are you looking to pursue a career in art?

I do it part-time right now. I’m satisfied doing commissions and artist tables at local conventions. I think I’d like to pursue writing more than art, but I do love art just as well, so part-time is perfect for me.

What do you like drawing the most?

As I mentioned before, faces. I love drawing facial expressions, I feel like it’s the very core of a character. It’s the first thing I notice when I look at anyone’s art, so I always go all out on my own. I also like drawing hair and wrinkles in clothing. I used to be really obsessed with wrinkles and it would always look like my characters didn’t iron their laundry, but I’ve definitely toned it down since then, haha.

All in all, I like drawing human characters the best — or humanoid. Elves, fairies, merfolk; I love them the most. I like drawing animals too, but not as much as people. 

What do you like drawing the least?

Once again my answer is hands. They are still as difficult to draw as the day I started.

Backgrounds are also not enjoyable for me to draw. It’s an important part of a piece, but I get so bored drawing anything that’s not a character — which is why you’ll probably notice in a lot of my art that I do a lot of very minimal backgrounds. I’ve been trying very hard not to just take stock photos anymore (with the exception of my Mythical Month art as they’re meant to be stickers,) and I’ve been using games like Skyrim and Breath of the Wild as inspiration with their gorgeous scenery. 

Do you draw more fanart or original art? If fanart, what fandom do you draw the most of?

I post a lot more fan art than original — at least I used to, but I also think I have expanded in sharing my original art more and more with my Mythical Months/Mondays. I guess maybe I’d say about half and half.

What medium/program do you use the most in your art?

Digitally I always use Photoshop. Always. As for traditional art, I’ve been using Copic knock-offs (I’m still learning, so I’d rather not waste the money) and the Sakura Micron pens for my ink sketches. I’ve really been enjoying them, actually, it’s very therapeutic. However, no matter digitally or traditionally, I always, ALWAYS start with a pencil. I like mechanical pencils, I don’t like traditional #2 pencils anymore. The thin lead helps me keep control better.

How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)

I always say I think my art is “above average.” I know it’s not bad, but I think it could always use improvement. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to a place where I think my art is phenomenal, but I’m content with it, it makes me happy, and that’s all that matters.

List at least one of your “artspirations.”

My art style was greatly inspired by Naruto, Fire Emblem, and Zelda. I always liked more proper body proportions with that hint of anime inspiration. I like bigger eyes on my characters because they help convey emotion so much better, but I also don’t like the oversized baby eyes outside of the occasional chibi style. Avatar: The Last Airbender was also a great influence since the creators did exactly what I like to do and execute it wonderfully.

What do you think you could stand to improve on?

I feel like I can always improve on everything that I do in my art. There are things I’m good at, but I don’t feel like I’ve mastered anything in particular. Then there’s hands and feet again which I definitely need to work on. Lastly, motion. I want to be able to draw more fluid character motions. I’ve been working on it with my original art that I don’t post online, but hopefully I’ll start incorporating it into all my work.

Do you have a shameful art past? (recolor sprite comics, tracing art, etc.?)

Ugh, yes, YES! I admit I was so bad at first, but I also think that’s just how we learn. I used to do a lot of tracing. I started first just full-on tracing images off my computer — That’s right, I’d put the paper up to the computer and trace it like that. Then I started using bases, which was better because at least I had to draw all the details like hair and clothing by myself. Then I finally worked up the courage to stop using them completely. I’d use references, but I would force myself to figure it out by eye rather than copy it straight from the source. I’m happy to say I haven’t been tracing since my late middle school- early high school years.

Cosplay

How many years have you cosplayed?

My first cosplay was when I was fourteen, and I’m twenty-five at the time of writing this article, so eleven years now. Wow.

How did you get into cosplaying?

I honestly don’t know. I was invited to a convention where I heard people dressed up and was like “hey, I want to try that!” I guess it was because I didn’t really do Halloween as a kid and I was so deathly terrified of costumed characters as a toddler that I never took an interest until high school.

How many cosplays have you done?

That’s funny, you want me to remember how many cosplays I’ve ever done. A lot. According to my photo collection, I’ve done about 60 different cosplays (59 exactly if I’m counting correctly.)

What was your first cosplay and why did you choose it?

My first cosplay was Osaka from Azumanga Daioh in her blue summer uniform. Azumanga Daioh was my second ever manga series and my cousin and I were so obsessed with it. She even went as Yukari with me to the convention (though only, like, two people knew who we were.) Tomo is probably my favorite character, but I related personally more to Osaka, being the air-head that I am. I also didn’t have to really style my hair (because that was an era before I used wigs.)

What is your favorite cosplay you’ve done so far?

It’s a tie between my Trainee Link (Hyrule Warriors) costume and my Royal Guard Link (Zelda: Breath of the Wild) costume. Both are alternative costumes for one of my all-time favorite characters that I hand made all the really detailed pieces all from scratch. Link has always been a special character for me to cosplay, but these two are my favorites.

What is your least favorite you’ve cosplayed?

Rapunzel (Tangled). I was obsessed with her at the time which is why I wanted to cosplay her originally, but my dress was not the best and I didn’t look good as her. At least I think so. It was the only costume that made me feel insecure.

What cosplay is the most uncomfortable or troublesome?

Okay, I love this costume and character to pieces, but my gosh the struggles I go through for Pearl (Steven Universe). Blue Diamond (Steven Universe) is the worst in terms of how long it takes me to put my makeup on, but Pearl is right behind her at about 2 hours being my best time. However, the thing that makes Pearl more troublesome to wear is one thing and one thing alone: armsocks.

They look great and prevent you from having to dab makeup all over your body, but I literally couldn’t even hit the home button on my cellphone and it’s not like I could just take them off like gloves. They’re attached at your middle and putting them on is a hassle on its own. Getting your fingers into each tiny socket is so time-consuming. Now imagine this while also being coated in body paint. Plus, having white be the color of the stockings, you have to be conscious of everything you touch because it will stain and show. Because of all this, I refuse to use the restroom dressed as Pearl, and while that is “in character,” it is not healthy and totally NOT recommended you do that.

What is your most comfortable cosplay?

During the winter, Ravio (Zelda: A Link Between Worlds) for sure. It’s like wearing a giant snuggie. However, in summer, it does get hot very quickly (which is why I literally only wear biker shorts and a tank underneath if I ever do take it out on a hot day), so I only wear it in summer if I know there will be AC. Heatstroke is a real thing. Miss Frizzle (Magic School Bus) is probably the best all-year cosplay in terms of comfort. It’s just a dress, stockings, and a wig really.

But in all honesty, most of my cosplays are relatively comfortable. There’s really nothing that I’ve been so uncomfortable that it’s made my physically ill or scarred me physically. My health is important to me, and should safety should always come first.

How do you research the cosplay before you make it?

I look up lots of reference images. I need an image of the front and back, though if it’s not available, I just improvise based on the images I do have on hand. After that, I kind of just wing it.

Do you sew your cosplays yourself?

A good majority of them, yes. There are a few exceptions to this, though: My Disney princesses are all bought since I use them in performances and want them to be durable if children come and tug on the outfit. Pearl, also being a performance cosplay, I did buy as well. For her second reformation outfit (the sleeveless with the ribbon) I got specially commissioned to look and fit me just right whereas her movie/future appearance (jacket and mom-jeans) I literally found at a thrift store. I also love to find costume pieces at thrift stores. Whether I use them as is or make alterations, they make life so much easier when you make a good find for a cheap price. Leni Loud (Loud House) is probably my favorite thrift/sew hybrid. I found a base dress, altered the top and added strap sleeves, put lace around the edges, found a blingy pair of sunglasses, bought earrings and painted them, and made bows for sandals I already had. The most expensive part of that cosplay was the wig I bought from Arda (and it’s always worth it to buy from them in my opinion.)

When I make a costume completely from scratch (like Ravio, Thranduil, any of my Link cosplays) are when I really love the costume and character and want to take on a challenge and bring it to life myself. They also tend to have pieces that can’t be altered from your everyday clothing, but that just makes me work harder and learn more!

How did you learn to sew?

My grandmother taught me how. Osaka was my first cosplay, but my mom altered it from a tee shirt we found at a thrift store and a lucky skirt find. Kabuto Yakushi (Naruto) was the first cosplay I made from scratch (and I won best novice at the convention I wore it to — even with my terrible wig, haha.) She showed me how to use patterns when we made that and my Ayame Sohma cosplay, but after that, I scrapped using patterns and I basically just eyeball everything now. It’s totally not recommended, but I’m a little weirdo and just prefer to do things the way I do. Still, I wouldn’t be able to use a sewing machine if it weren’t for her. Thanks, Nanny!

Do you make your own props?

Most of them. I don’t really use props too often as I find them cumbersome to lug around a convention (which is how I thought of the Fire Emblem, Gravity Falls, and Skyrim book boxes to store your stuff and add some extra flair to a costume.) The few props I have made include Link’s sword, his trainee shield, his original shield from Zelda 1, and Soren’s Wind Tome (which I used for Laurent (Fire Emblem: Awakening) because I didn’t finish Soren (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance) yet…) Then there’s my prized cosplay prop; Victreebel for James (Pokémon). That was all thanks to my fleece hat business in high school that taught me the skills to build that thing.

I actually think the only prop I store-bought was my Hylian Shield because it was so lightweight and easy to carry, plus I was dreading doing all those details at the time. Maybe one day I’ll make it from scratch, but for now, I’m content with my store-bought.

Do you style your own wigs?

Yes. I have been improving my styling skills a lot more since I first started. It was always a more difficult task for me, but I’ve been practicing more and more. The first one that I attempted on my own was my short-haired Rapunzel. That was basically just giving it a haircut, though. My first real styling challenge was Breath of the Wild Link. It took a long time, but I actually had fun figuring out his hair.

For most of my costumes, it’s really just the bangs that need that extra pop, to which I use Got2B gel and spray. Does the trick every time and keeps everything in place. For those who are wondering, though: No, I did not style Pearl’s wig. I am not ready for that kind of gravity-defying styling. That was all E-Bay.

What skill has been most useful for making your cosplay?

Well, sewing mostly, but other skills that have come in handy for me personally have been painting, crafting, makeup, styling, and overall decorating. Probably other stuff too, just nothing more I can think of off the top of my head.

What is the hardest thing when making a cosplay?

Probably figuring out how things connect. This is the main reason I’m timid when it comes to armor. I’ve been getting better, but I’m still having trouble figuring out how everything attaches and how to put on these kinds of costumes, which is why my Skyrim Elven Armor has been put on hold.

What was the biggest screw up you’ve had making a cosplay?

I’m not sure if I had any major crisis’ when it comes to making cosplays, but I’ve certainly had my fair share of irritating mishaps and mistakes. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve accidentally sewn the sleeves on a costume inside out about 4 times before I finally got it right.

I’ve cut holes in my clothing, I’ve sewn sleeves on too tight, and I’ve even completed a hat that took hours just for it to wind up being too small when I put a wig on. I guess most of the major issues I’ve had with sewing are measurement issues, so my advice to you is to always measure and try on your costume as you go. Don’t wait until the day of the con to try out your new cosplay.

How often do you injure yourself while making a cosplay?

Not too often, I occasionally prick my finger with my sewing needles, but I haven’t had too many serious injuries. I think the worst was when I slashed my thumb with the exacto-knife when making my first shield for Link. Needless to say, there was a lot of blood.

Do you try to stay cheap or do you splurge on materials?

I am a frugal soul; if I can save, I will. That’s why I thrift so much. However, on a costume I’m really passionate about, I will spend more to ensure the quality. For example, I spent a little more going to a more shimmery material for Royal Guard Link. It cost about $50 for the blue and red material, which to me, is a lot (and that was with coupons). However, the results were 100% worth it. PS, Michaels and Joann’s ALWAYS have coupons. I totally recommend downloading both apps.

I also stand by that with wigs and contacts. I love Arda, their quality is great, but they are more expensive than Amazon. Contacts I don’t mind spending more for as well since the quality is VERY important in this case; they are going on your eyes, after all.

However, as I said, I am absolutely not opposed to going cheap. If you can make it work, make it work. My Nyo!Austria (Hetalia) cosplay came out very cute and it was literally made from bedsheets. From using mostly thrifted and recycled materials, a lot of my cosplays came to around an overall price of around $30. Some of these costumes include Mega Gardevoir (Pokemon), Tomoyo Sakagami (Clannad), Spyro (Spyro the Dragon), and Luan Loud (Loud House.)

Cosplay can be totally affordable, you just have to be creative and think a little outside the box sometimes to make it work.

Have you ever cosplayed with a partner or group?

Yes, a few times. I’d love to do more group cosplays, but we all have to think of something we all like. Luckily, two of my very good friends decided they would dress up as Steven Universe and Amethyst to go with my Pearl this year for Comic-Con and it was such a great experience! I’m trying to convince them to do others as well, such as The Loud House and The Magic School Bus with me as well, haha.

Do you try to act in character?

Always: but I don’t always succeed. It really depends on the character. Pearl I could roleplay for days. It’s probably because I connect so much with her and performing as her doesn’t hurt either. Dee Dee Magno Hall says her favorite lines to say are peoples names, and after giving it a shot myself, I totally see why. I even practiced Garnets “Stronger than you” monologue in Pearl’s voice and tone (in case no one volunteered to sing during our karaoke event) and it always makes my friends laugh.

The characters that stump me a little more are the more serious characters I choose to portray; Link, Laurent, Thranduil (the Hobbit), Belle (Beauty and the Beast), just to name a few. I’m kind of a goofball/airhead so those characters clash with my personality a little bit, but I am getting better. Blue Diamond is surprisingly the easiest of these types to stay in character for.

That being said, I love being the outgoing, oddball characters. Like I said, Pearl is second nature to me, as well as Anna from Frozen. Back in my Hetalia days, Austria and America were my go-to guys. I could act as them forever, and my friends and I literally lived as them for a while with how much we role-played. Most of the Disney Princesses it’s pretty easy for me to stay in character, especially (like I said before) Anna, Sofia the First, and Merida.

How do you react to cosplayers dressed as a character from the same anime/game/etc?

If there are some good character opportunities, I will role-play on the spot, but more often than not I will ask if we could all get a picture together. There were so many fun interactions with other Steven Universe cosplayers when my friends and I did our little group, but one of my favorite interactions was probably when I was dressed as Laurent and I stumbled across a Miriel cosplayer and I just shouted out “MOM! I FINALLY FOUND YOU!”

Do you try to duplicate your character’s expressions, walk, movements, etc?

I can talk the talk (mostly), but I have more trouble walking the walk. I’ve been trying to replicate movements better, but facial expressions I have trouble with (ironic as it’s my favorite part of drawing.) I’m not as photogenic as I’d like to be, as you could probably tell by most of my pictures being the same face, but I definitely am striving to improve on that.

What was your funniest experience of acting in character?

Okay, there’s a lot that I could share, and eventually, I want to do an article solely on cosplay “in-character” experiences, but the one I HAVE to share right now is a recent experience when I was dressed as Ariel from The Little Mermaid.

I was performing at the family day event my church helps out at my pastor’s air force base as Ariel, and after my sing-a-long, my makeup was a little smudged. I asked a volunteer where the restroom was so I could touch up before I headed back out to the crowds. I thought he’d take me to a private restroom, but he brought me to the public one where there were families waiting outside. They noticed and the dad joked “See? Even princesses have to go.” to which I laughed and gave my best Ariel shrug to play along. I went inside, fixed my makeup, and went back outside.

It wasn’t long, so the family was still outside the men’s room. As I walked by, the man’s son shouted out “Ariel, congratulations on going pee-pee!” to which I bursted out laughing. Everyone was. I mean, if you gotta congratulate a princess on using the bathroom, you picked the right one! After that, I did explain that I was just putting on makeup but I appreciated his enthusiasm and thanked him for it.

Do you compete in cosplay contests?

All the time. I love them. Whether I win or lose, I always get something out of it. I learn tips from other cosplayers, get to meet so many interesting people, and those times I do win I get prizes which is always nice as well. Most importantly, though, the memories that are made there are the very best part.

Have you won anything?

I have won quite a few. I have three trophies, a medal, a few certificates, and have won a cash prize as well. My first win was my second convention as Kabuto where I won the best novice trophy. My most recent win was for Ravio in August of 2019 with best in show. It’s amazing, I never thought I would get this far, but I’m so grateful for everything I’ve been a part of.

Again, it’s totally not about winning, but I’ll admit that it does feel really nice to have my hard work appreciated. Just as drawing, I still feel like I have a lot of room for improvement in my cosplay, so winning a few contests here and there definitely helps my low self-esteem.

Do you prefer skits or walk-ons?

I’ve only ever done walk-ons. I’ve never had anyone to do a skit with and I don’t think I could pull one off on my own. I’d love to do one eventually, but for now, our panels are good enough.

How many friends have you made because of cosplay?

Quite a lot. My Instagram is full of cosplayers I’ve met at conventions and I love seeing their cosplays and drawings, it’s all so inspiring!

Do you attend photoshoots and meet-ups outside of conventions?

Occasionally. I’ve never done a professional photoshoot (though one day I’d like to,) but I have attended a few meetups. I’ve done one for Steven Universe, Once Upon a Time, Disney, and I actually accidentally walked into a Fire Emblem: Awakening one dressed as Laurent, so that worked out.

What is the funniest reaction you’ve gotten cosplaying from people outside of the community?

The best one was when I was dressed as Link and my friend and I were on the subway. There was a mom and her kid sitting across from us and she pointed to me and said to her child, “Look, an elf! You see? Santa’s got his helpers out all year round, so you have to be good!”

I also had another wonderful experience outside of a con dressed as Link, though it’s not as funny but more just a sweet memory. It’s quite a bit, but luckily I’ve already written about it for Zelda Universe so I’ll just link it here for anyone who’s interested. 

Name a few cosplays you’re planning to do next:

I’ve got to get Soren (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance) done soon. I’ve been wanting to do this cosplay forever and I did start it, but I need to finally finish it. Dimitri (Fire Emblem: Three Houses) is also on my list to do next. Not sure about who else I want to do for sure, but some ideas that have floated around in my head have been Tilly Green (Big City Greens), Anna with her Frozen 2 look, Princess Peach (Super Mario), and a Thalmor Mage (Skyrim.)

What is your dream cosplay?

Princess Zelda from Twilight Princess. I’m still too scared to try to cosplay her. I bought a cheap starter costume that I was going to build off of and it wasn’t turning out the way I wanted, so I put it off again. One day I’ll feel confident enough to make her costume, but until then I’m totally satisfied with my Link cosplays.

What do you take into consideration when picking a character to cosplay?

Honestly, I just have to love them as a character and the costume itself has to seem do-able. I mean, I’m totally not opposed to buying cosplays if I really want to be a particular character, but like I said, making it means all the more to me. It’s my display of affection towards that character, the creators behind them, and the series as a whole.

Is cosplay serious business for you?

Yes and no. No because I don’t do it for money, likes, or internet fame. I do it because it’s fun and what I like to do. Yes because I go all out when I cosplay. I do everything I can to get the look the way I want it and I put my blood, sweat, and tears into it when I make them by hand. 

What is your favorite thing about cosplay?

Everything: Dressing up as a character I love, roleplaying them, taking photos, just everything! I would do it more often if I could!

How do you want to grow as a cosplayer?

I want to learn how to make more. I want to build armor, I want to learn new makeup and hairstyling techniques, and so much more. I’m happy where I am, but I know I can be better. I will watch others and learn from them and push myself to try new things!

Are you willing to answer questions and help other cosplayers?

Absolutely! I may not be a top dog of cosplaying, but if I can help someone with something I’ve learned along the way, I’m more than happy to help!

Writing

When did you start writing?

I started in middle school as well, I used to write a Nintendo fan fiction called “The Kirby Show,” where Kirby and his friends would get into wacky sitcom scenarios. They were really just knock-offs of the television shows I used to watch back in the day, but hey, everyone’s gotta start somewhere.

As for my original writing, I started that more in high school. I still wrote a lot of fan fiction at that point, but I was starting to develop my own characters as well. I thought it about time to think of my own creations, and I did. I remember I was in my Godmother’s car when I thought of the main three characters and since then the cast has expanded so much, their stories are much better developed, and the lore is much more solid.

When you were a beginning writer, what did you write primarily? What do you write now, primarily?  (i.e. romance, fan-fiction, poetry)

As mentioned before, I started out writing stories about characters that were not my own. Now I do all original writing — well, aside from my work at Zelda Universe. There I get to write about all the unique aspects of one of my favorite game series of all time, so there’s that as well. Writing there has helped me start writing little fandom topical posts for my own blog, such as top 10’s, reviews, and other things along those lines. 

How often do you write?

I make it a habit to try and write at least a half-hour a day. If I’m really on a roll, I could write up to a few hours a day before I get burnt out. Even though I’m not always writing, I’m always developing the stories in my head. 

When is your favorite time of the day to write?

I always write a half hour before I go to bed. The later it is, the more ideas keep rolling in. With my early hours for work now it’s harder to stay up late, but that doesn’t stop the ideas. I just gotta push myself a little harder to start earlier to have more time before I need to go to bed. 

Do you have a writing muse? If so, who/what?

Not in particular. I always just write about what I like and incorporate different aspects of my life into it. I guess I’m my own muse in that sense? I don’t know. I just write what I do know. 

What is your most popular lit piece?

Out of all my public pieces, I’d say either my “Animal Crossing Diaries” series or my “Endless Ocean” screenplay. “Vagabond” gets some decent attention as well, which is nice, but honestly, I’d be happy if there was just one person enjoying my work, so I really can’t complain. 

What is the piece you are currently writing?

Out of my public blog works, “Vagabond,” from my Zelda Universe collection I’m working on a character piece on Colin from Twilight Princess. 

What is the piece you most recently finished?

On my blog that would be my “Top 10 Favorite Fire Emblem Characters” list. For Zelda Universe, it’s actually a piece about Fire Emblem as well — It was DS week, I could write about whatever DS game I wanted to, of course I have to sneak in some Fire Emblem.

What piece are you most proud of?

While “Vagabond” definitely needs some more work, out of all the pieces I’ve posted publicly, that one is the one I am the proudest of. If anything just for Kurt and Maerwynn. They are two of my favorite characters to play around with and I’m so happy that somehow I was allowed to think these two up.

In my more private works, my fantasy story is my pride and joy. I feel so blessed to have been able to come up with these characters, and I do hope that someday I will be able to share them, whether on a television screen as I’ve always dreamed of in a novel of some sort. One day, maybe. 

What piece are you most disappointed in?

It’s not so much disappointment, but rather I’ve grown so much in my work, it’s very hard for me to look back at my first romance story. It’s a little cheesy and the dialogue is a bit clunky, some of the actions that my characters had performed totally go against what their characters have become now after spending a lot more time with them. It’s something I would love to revisit and maybe even go public with, but it’s going to take a lot of work. 

From all of your stories, who is/are your favorite character(s) and why? (try to limit it to 3)

Since I only published “Vagabond” online, I’ll stick to characters from this story in particular.

Maerwynn is definitely a favorite because she’s got a lot of qualities that I wish I was bold enough to enact myself. She speaks her mind without a care of what anyone else will think, even if it’s blatantly rude. She goes for her goals, even if they may seem ridiculous, and she pursues them with great passion and ferocity. Even with this rough and tough exterior, she’s still got a softer side that she’s just discovering in her new life at the palace. Now, I wouldn’t ever recommend being like Maerwynn ALL the time, but there’s definitely is a time and place where we could all be a little bit more like her, I think. Her confidence is the thing I admire most about her.

Kurt I connect with as well. Again, he says all the things that we all wish we could get away with at one point or another, but he knows he can because he’s royalty. However, he’s got so much going on underneath the surface as well with the complications of his past. He’s learning to open up, connect with others, and understand his feelings. Despite feeling restricted by the laws of his kingdom and the traditions of the royal family, he finds his own way to feel free and be himself. 

What is the best compliment you ever got on your writing?

My best friend who I’ve been sharing these stories with for as long as we’ve known each other told me the nicest thing not to long ago. I always laugh at myself for going so crazy in-depth with the lore and characters of my fantasy world, but she told me how she’s admired that and the love and care I put into each little thing was what made it so great. It really meant the world to me to hear that and I can’t thank her enough for all the love and support throughout the years! 

What is your main goal in writing?

I don’t know if there’s one main goal in particular, but I suppose if I had to pick just one, it would be to show good through the works of my characters and hope and pray that it inspires others to be like them. Kindness is growing scarce in the world, and if I can just inspire a little bit of it in someone, I suppose that’s all I can ask for. 

Have you ever been published?

No, but I am aiming for it. Once I complete Vagabond, give it another revise myself, and hopefully find an editor to give it another look over, I’d love to find someone to publish my book or even self publish on a platform like Amazon. Just something to get my work out there.

Questions asked by you

Who is an artist that you look up to? There are a few artists online that I follow who I just adore their work. Three that come to mind in particular are Bianca Roman-Stumpff, Bellhenge, and TheStarfishFace. Their art is so different from mine, but I think that’s probably why I love it so much (if that makes sense?)  They each have such a unique style and great subject material, I highly recommend giving them a look!

What did you think of “Frozen 2”?

I loved it. No secret that I’m a huge Frozen fan, so I was bound to like it. I was actually really nervous about how it was going to end, but I can say (without spoilers) that I am 100% satisfied with how it concluded. Also, Kristoff finally gets the spotlight that he deserves, thank you, Disney.

However, as much as I did love it, I do totally admit I do see flaws in it that could have been improved on. That being said, there was that in the first movie too and I stilled loved it. The characters have enough charm to keep the film entertaining throughout and I just adore them!

What does your family think of your art?

My parents have always encouraged me about my art and I know my grandmother loves it; I gave her a sweater with the art she liked of mine last Christmas and my mom says she wears it all the time. The rest of my family knows and supports my art as well, I  never really had any issue with my small art business and the family.

Any memorable cosplay experiences at a con?

So many. I’ve shared a few before, but I think I’d like to make a whole article on the great cosplay experiences I’ve had! There are so many to talk about and stories to share.

Is there a type of art that you would like to get into? I’ve seen a lot of people doing wood carving and burning, but that looks insanely difficult.

I’ve actually been considering wood burning, haha! It does look difficult, that’s why I’ve been hesitant, but maybe in the future I’d give it a shot. I think they’d make my Skyrim wood pieces look legit.

I’m really up for trying anything. If money wasn’t a thing, I’d have tried a lot more by now. In the future, I’d love to try needlepoint as well! 

Recently, I had been asked about some of the work that I do, and I thought a fun way to just that was to fill out a few questionnaires. Here I talk about some of the high and low points of doing what I do, what inspires me, and my process of creativity. Welcome all! If you're reading this, I'm assuming you're familiar with my work as either an artist, cosplayer, writer or any of the other creative things I do.

[tisthenightofthewitch]

Tobias Forge from Ghost in an interview (translated - badly - from German)

The rock / metal band Ghost is currently on a European tour and invites in the course on 17 February for an audience in the Swiss Life Hall to Hannover ( tickets ) - presented by Count Your Bruises Magazine. Frontman Tobias Forge,  aka Cardinal Copia, took the time to start an interview with us and revealed that fans in Germany are going to have a ghost show that has never happened before and that we're aiming for a new Ghost in 2020 Album may be happy.

Hello Tobias, how are you? Thank you for your time!

Tobias : I'm fine, thank you, how are you? Thank you for the interview!

Everything is fine here too, thank you! How is the tour so far? You are in Amsterdam today, right?

Tobias : Exactly. So far we played a show, a very good start and I'm really happy!

Super. So, let's get started: Your identity was revealed two years ago, when founding members of Ghost opened a lawsuit against you. Do you see any differences between the time behind the mask and now and what has changed this revelation for you as a person and maybe even for the whole band?

Tobias: It is difficult to say what exactly the result of this revelation was. I have been recognized many, many years before. Because the people who were interested in the band were able to locate my identity online seven years ago, if they really wanted to. So for me it's hard to say if - if someone recognizes me on the street and addresses me - it's because that person saw me on French television or learned who I am six years ago. And have things changed? Every year things change. Ghost itself is getting bigger and bigger, we are doing bigger and bigger things and it's going on steadily. So sometimes it's not easy to tell if it's up to these things or because people, for example, heard "Dance Macabre" on the radio and just learned my identity online, just as they would have done three years ago. So there is no direct "before and after".

Understand. And why did you choose to perform as an anonymous band at the beginning?

Tobias: Because I wanted Ghost to be more of a kind of art form. I did not see Ghost as a band that plays metal festivals or metal bands, I thought of cabaret or some sort of theater play. It was a great idea in my head. But in reality that did not work that way. At the time, I did not think we could be commercially successful. I thought we might succeed in some ways, but on a different level. That we become an art band. I still believe that we are an artistic band, but today we are simply a commercial rock band. This is something very different than what I had in mind. That's why anonymity to my original plan would have worked very well. Anonymity does not fit the concept of a successful,

So, in the end, did you consciously decide that Ghost should be a bigger and more commercially successful band?

Tobias : Of course. Without question, I always wanted to be a professional musician who can live from his music. And I was not that before Ghost. When I realized that Ghost is more popular than I ever considered and I realized that my life's dream can come true - of course! Who would not do that?

That's true. Of course, it's always great to earn your money with your passion.

Tobias : Exactly. That sums it up. It is just as easy. Everything just went better than I thought. I did not expect it to work that way.

And how did you come to create the characters Papa Emeritus and now Cardinal Copia? What do these figures mean to you?

Tobias: It's important to keep in mind that I'm from the black metal scene. So everything I associate with occultism, upturned crosses, skulls and so on is very, very common. For me, a demonic pope was not a totally original idea because it is simply anchored in the DNA of satanic rock'n'roll. For example, take a look at the album cover for "Terrible Certainty" by Kreator. There you will find a demonic pope. So it was quite normal for me. The band is made up of nameless and defenseless monks, so what's the most logical character you can put over them? Maybe a priest? Or a cardinal? Oh no, a pope! That will look cool! And to have a pope who puts on his face like a skull is historically very close to satanic rock music and heavy metal - this is Corpse Paint. And Corpse Paint is mostly a skull. I'm a big fan of the Misfits and the Italian horror rock band Death SS. The Skull Paint comes from Paul Chain (Frontman of the band Death SS - Note d. Red. ). That's what I tried to imitate. Indiana Jones "Temple Of Doom" guards also wore cool skull paints. The cardinal was finally an extension of that. I knew there would be a daddy Emeritus I, a daddy Emeritus II and a daddy Emeritus III. And then I came up with the idea: what if there is a leadership character who is not yet a pope? Well, what would he be? He would be a cardinal. He would therefore start as a cardinal and hopefully grow so far that he can later be appointed Pope. Here you can see the transition.

And how would you describe your personal relationship to religion or to Catholicism?

Tobias : My personal relationship with Catholicism is not very close. I grew up in a Protestant country. The church in my old hometown was an old Catholic church and I went into it. I have always enjoyed being there, because it is old, big, imposing and had everything that an old "horror church" must contain. She is taller than anything around her. The church has always been a very inspiring place for me. That's the one, more aesthetic and inspirational thing. On the other hand, I have experienced with Christians that they have two faces. They often pretend to represent kindness and kindness, but many of them are pretty lousy. That's why I'm often very suspicious of religious people.

Speaking of mistrust: In an interview you said that the medieval mentality has returned through social media. What do you personally think of Facebook, Instagram and Co. and how do you see social media from the perspective of your band, which can reach their fans and gain new listeners?

Tobias: As a professional musician, I just like it. I definitely have to thank social media for my career. We grew up thanks to MySpace. I think without MySpace we would not have done that at the time. In 2010, what we did was not very popular. It would have been difficult to get these effects without the internet. This "overnight sensation" would not have happened. I think that if we had appeared at another time on the scene, we would still have somehow been successful, but it would never have been the way it has gone. We will never know how it could have been. I definitely owe my career to the internet and social media. As an artist, I am very thankful. But still: I think as a parent and human that social media has many sites that are not necessarily good for people. Many people - especially young people - feel bad about something that they should not feel bad about, thanks to social media. Because they get hold of what they do not have and what they can not be. And I think that's not good.

You're right.

Tobias: I think it's good to be inspired. It's good to get inspiration from an ad, for example, for what it was in the 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's and 90's when there was a limited amount of advertising. For example, if you said, "If you use this soap, you will look like this," everyone knew it was fake. Nowadays, however, more and more advertising appears that does not look like a fake. Here is advertised a lifestyle that they believe everyone can have. But they are not saying that they are influencers who get paid and get a lot of things for free, just to tell people that. So you do not live the same life as you do, but convey that you can live such a lifestyle without doing anything, and that's a bad thing. I think, that many people believe that if you win the lottery you can spend your life doing nothing, and that is not a quality of life. Most people only feel good when they have something purposeful to do. You have a goal for yourself and for others, and that's the reason why you feel better. But social media usually promotes the view that you can quickly achieve very much with little time, you earn five million and then your life is perfect. I do not think that's a good thing because it implies many people are failing. You do not fail. You will not fail if you do not have five million in the account. Then you are not a failure. I think that's the bad thing about social media. You are constantly confronted with what you can be, but that is not achievable. And that makes people sad - that's definitely the bad side of it.

That's right. Starting next week, you will be visiting Germany for a few shows. What's behind the tour name "A Pale Tour Named Death" and what can we expect from the shows?

Tobias: The name comes from "A Pale Horse Named Death", a biblical term. This means that death sets off on a bright horse. Since our album is about dying, death, and the idea of ​​immortality, and about being able to appreciate that you're still alive, the title makes sense. And what can we expect? From a German point of view, you can expect a show that we have not been able to do in Germany so far. All the years we toured in Germany, we have in one way or another always rather moderate shows in terms of production, etc., because we were limited because we have played at festivals, for example, had fewer opportunities and of it were held to deliver a big show. Now we finally come to Germany to present a big show. An Arena show, something we always wanted to do. 

The location in Hannover is also pretty cool and quite big. When you stand on stage and look into the crowd - What kind of people do you see there and what goes through your mind?

Tobias: I see many different people. That's one of the cool things about the band's great success. When we started back then, everything was very metal oriented and we attracted younger metal fans in the first place. When we started touring and playing our own shows, I was always pleased to see that the Metal community was there - both old and new - so the 60 year old or even 70 year old fan was up there to 15-year-olds. There are always a lot of girls on our shows, indie girls, indie guys ... it's just a big mix of different people. I think it's great. I am also very pleased that the demographics are balanced - I think there are usually 40% girls or women present, which is also a very good thing for the crowd. This makes everything a little more fun. If you go to a Manowar Show, 95% of men are present. Often it is then too hard. The atmosphere just gets better when there are many women. I appreciate very much. We have a lot of kids on the shows, but on the other hand, people my own age or older, because we remind them of KISS, Alice Cooper or others. I think it's a win-win situation to address a wide audience. That's exactly what I see when I look into the audience. Every time I am surprised that this balanced mix is ​​there. because we remind them of KISS, Alice Cooper or others. I think it's a win-win situation to address a wide audience. That's exactly what I see when I look into the audience. Every time I am surprised that this balanced mix is ​​there. because we remind them of KISS, Alice Cooper or others. I think it's a win-win situation to address a wide audience. That's exactly what I see when I look into the audience. Every time I am surprised that this balanced mix is ​​there.

Let's come to my last question: What does the future of Ghost look like?

Tobias : Currently very booked. We play shows throughout the year, until Christmas. This will last until 2020. We do not know exactly what 2020 will look like, but I already know that there will be some shorter tours and we will record a new album in the first half. There will be a new album in about eight months from then.

So are you already working on new songs?

Tobias : Yes, I do!

Great, I'm curious. Also on the show in Hannover next week.

Tobias : That's what I'm looking forward to, it'll be cool. This will definitely be something you have not seen in Germany by Ghost yet.

Sounds great. Thank you very much for your time and the interview. I hope you have a great tour!

Tobias : Thank you very much and have a nice day!

[marcelavenegas9-blog]

Hip Hop And R&B Surpass Rock As Biggest U.S. Music Genre

Electronic music is music which uses non-conventional digital instrumentation and sound manipulation expertise as the first musical backbone of a composition. The addition of those further notes added the flourish and trim associated with the styles of the time that were dominantly ornate. These musical ornaments grew to become much less of a function within the Classical period as composers strove for the purity of melodic line with balance and poise. The possible exception is the trill that was usually be used to show a performer's virtuosity in a efficiency and used to bring a bit of music to a rousing close. These are all subgenres. It's mainly rock that died out utterly and different music developments that phased out over time. I am glad dubstep is over, I like EDM but that shit is horrible. Classical music may be of several forms: Symphony, Sonata, Concerto, Suite, Cantata, Oratorio and so forth. These are either performed on devices resembling a piano or a violin or sung. boomblatin - Comedy rock in the '80s and '70s. Influenced by the digital music that perionted or significantly and hardcore punk, and various rock that emples metallic and bass dance music, and percussion people music produced to the music metal that started minimalist that always performed dinge pop music that folk music standard music widespread music, who the genre methods people, metal, blues, ond rock custom the more performent in the '70s on the '60s and '90s. It folks music.

In 1962, Ray Charles had more to supply nation music than nation music had to supply Ray Charles. For an R&B star with two latest pop chart-toppers to cross over into a genre typically thought of a industrial backwater with a niche rural viewers was a stroke of counterintuitive genius. As the wrestle for civil rights raged down South, this self-aware train in integration reminded fans on both aspect of the racial divide of their frequent musical roots. Yet by embracing the new string-laden Nashville Sound quite than wanting backward to the honky-tonks, http://www.audio-transcoder.com/ Ray's fusion was as trendy as the title promised, not simply increasing the viewers for country however increasing the concept of what nation may very well be for future musicians.

With Bowie, the clues were all there. However with Prince, you didn't really see it coming. Sure, there have been rumors of drug use and an emergency airplane touchdown , however his death on April 21 was a punch in the intestine. The greatest songwriter , performer , and musician of his era, Prince's music was as idiosyncratic and transgressive as pop music will get. Nobody wrote about fucking better than Prince, earlier than or since. To label Prince classic rock" feels sinful: Prince made Prince music, and Darling Nikki" is not exactly blowing up basic rock radio like Resort California." Prince fused a number of genres—funk, soul, R&B, and, sure, rock—without neatly falling into one category. But Prince also marked one thing of an evolutionary finish for rock music: After him, rock stars appeared backward greater than they did forward, and they definitely looked more to rock's own previous than they did to different genres.

Previous to the 1930s, the study of people music was primarily the province of students and collectors. The Thirties noticed the beginnings of bigger scale themes, commonalities, themes and linkages in people music developing in the populace and practitioners as properly, typically associated to the Nice Melancholy 24 Regionalism and cultural pluralism grew as influences and themes. During this time folk music began to become enmeshed with political and social activism themes and actions. 24 Two associated developments were the U.S. Communist Get together's curiosity in folk music as a approach to attain and influence Individuals, 25 and politically active outstanding people musicians and students seeing communism as a possible better system, via the lens of the Nice Depression. 26 Woody Guthrie exemplifies songwriters and artists with such an outlook.Narcocorrido first appeared within the 1970s earlier than going mainstream within the Nineties. Musicians often focus on cartels that get the most media coverage. So the extra the cartel's crimes make the information, the extra musicians honor these criminals in their songs. However, narcocorrido musicians often keep away from extreme glorification of the drug lords and cartels as a result of their felony competitors in the drug world might take offense. Other deaths have rocked the music world as effectively. Can any fan of hip hop or R&B every really get better from Aaliyah's dying in 2001? She was solely 22 years old when her aircraft crashed in the Bahamas, killing not only her but in addition eight others. This gifted musician died earlier than reaching the age of 40, and the world of R&B isn't the identical for her loss.Pop radio radically changed once more in 2013 and pop rock made a comeback. Electro-rock band Imagine Dragons and pop punk band Fallout Boy enjoyed success on both various and pop radio. Indie, folk, and country impressed music achieved pop success as did R&B and funk. The visualization is sort of revealing, and offers us a good sense of A) what musical aspects are mentioned within the evaluations (e.g. what sonic or other musical qualities are deemed related to describe in a music evaluate?) and B) how these music descriptions differ throughout the varied genres.In dance band mento, dwelling-made instruments were changed by skilled saxes and clarinets and basses. Usually, banjo was left behind in favor of electrical guitar. Along with clarinet, piano was often a featured instrument, because the music became overtly jazzy. Percussion was much less rustic, and typically had a Latin feel. Almost all of the rural fashion's rough edges had been smoothed out. Within the Sixties, a calypso inflection was usually heard in city reggae, changing the jazz sound. Dance band mento appears to have largely died out by the 70s, while the unique rural type continued. Nonetheless, the musicians of this type of mento contributed vastly to the jazz that was such an necessary component of ska.cassette. In 1989, two Jolly Boys CDs appeared on the American Ryko label. This was followed by a number of more CDs on non-Jamaican labels. Though none of those releases are in print immediately though some are coming again in print. See the information web page., they must have finished properly enough to point out that there was a marketplace for mento. Different releases adopted. A Lititz Mento Band CD was launched out of Germany, which may be defined by the fact that Jamaica is a popular vacation destination for Germans. A 1997 The Buzzing Birds CD was launched solely in Japan, the place they're loopy for Jamaican music, and mento seems to take pleasure in a small but dedicated fan base. In 1997, the ultimate Jolly Boys CD, a reside set recorded in 1992, was launched in Japan only.Undergraduate college degrees in music, including the Bachelor of Music , the Bachelor of Music Schooling, and the Bachelor of Arts (with a serious in music) usually take about 4 years to finish. These degrees provide college students with a grounding in music concept and music historical past, and lots of college students also examine an instrument or study singing technique as part of their program. Graduates of undergraduate music packages can search employment or go on to additional examine in music graduate packages. Bachelor's degree graduates are additionally eligible to use to some graduate packages and skilled faculties exterior of music (e.g., public administration , business administration , library science , and, in some jurisdictions, teacher's faculty , legislation school or medical school ).

[thaeonblade]

Logics Insight: The Star Wars Prequel Trilogy 1/2

https://www.deviantart.com/thaeonblade/art/Logics-Insight-The-Star-Wars-Prequel-Trilogy-1-2-916696222

Over the past decade or so, may of you have seen me make several jokes and digs at the expense of Star Wars Episodes I, II and III collectively known as the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy.

I've made fun of the characters, concepts, dialogue and previously made a two part rant about how the Jedi Order sucks in the Prequels and how this portrayal of the Jedi very much sinks their reputation and standing within the Star Wars saga going forward.

However, you may be surprised to hear that I actually like the Star Wars Prequels.

I never loved the Prequels, but I never hated them as some fellow fans do.

Part of that may come down to simple personal bias and experience. I was nine when the Phantom Menace came out and watched Episode I with my mother and older siblings at the Warrensburg Theater in O'Fallon Illinois. When Episode II came out, I watched it with my father and older siblings in theaters in Kansas City and then me and my older siblings watched Episode III together in theaters when I was fifteen.

It wasn't until I was older did I become exposed to the wider “Fandom Menace” movement that picked up traction due to the backlash against the 3D re-releases that George Lucas initially planned for all six movies. And he followed up that move with starting with the most hyped and divisive of the the Prequel Movies which many did not like.

Yes, I watched and enjoyed the Redlettermedia reviews. Mr Plinkett raised several observations and critiques about the movie's shortcomings, flaws, missteps and missed opportunities. Most of these criticisms where things that I actually agreed with, but there were many that I thought or found to be misinformed, unfair or made bigger than they really were.

And no, Disney's mishandling of Star Wars for the past ten years did not make me suddenly realize that the Prequels are works of genius art. In some small way, I've always known that even with my own criticisms and a work of art can still be genius and inherently flawed at the same time. Just because the Tower of Piza has a constant lean, that doesn't take away from its architectural beauty and design.

If a work of art can still hold itself up in spite of its flaws, then its worth looking over to appreciate its strengths. Then you can look at its flaws and see how to improve for future works that will be taking influence from the original. Kind of like how the Romans adapted their vision of the phalanx into the maniple system to make for the former's lack of environmental adaptability and required rigidness.

In that sense, the Star Wars Prequels must be acknowledged as withstanding the test of time and being held up as good, but flawed movies. There is artistic value in the virtues of these movies and the story that they tell as well as artistic value in acknowledging their flaws and mistakes. One can appreciate the flaws of the movies and still regard them as good and someone can acknowledge the virtues while still regarding them as bad.

Which is just my fancy way of saying make up your own mind after weighing the pros and cons of these movies. Don't be a reactive fan who insists that criticizing any Star Wars movie means that you're not a true fan. Don't jump on the hate bandwagon that insists that George Lucas ruined your childhood and that makes it okay to harass actors.

You're better than that. Act like it.

Think for yourself.

Like I said, I do like the Star Wars Prequels and believe that there is more good to them than bad. It's just that the bad parts are...easier to see and they stick with you due to the nature of their badness. It's like how the dark side of the force isn't stronger than the light side, its just easier to tap into and therefore, easier to be seduced by. But one will be able to see through the dark and bad to perceive the light and good with calm, clarity, peace and not taking things too personally.

So with that out of the way, I'll be talking first about the things that I will NOT criticize the Prequels for too much. Then we'll talk about the good along with the bad because sometimes they're intermixed. The big issue with the Prequels is that on the positive side, George Lucas really did expand the universe of Star Wars and raised a lot of possibilities in the process. The overall story of the Prequels is great, the themes are good, and the tragedy element is present.

On the negative side, George shoots himself in the foot with several odd characterization decisions. There are also some aspects of worldbuilding which kneecap the internal consistency of the series and create stumbling blocks for future writers and fans alike. There's also the fact that there are aspects of the Prequel plots that are poorly executed and we'll cover those much later. It's a shame because of George had managed to iron out these issues, the Prequels would be overall more solid and respected by the fanbase.

The Dialogue and Acting

Plenty of people have shared their disproval of how George handled the dialogue and acting. There's so many noteworthy lines and quotes that people make fun of that some people just watch the Prequels to enjoy the lousy one liners.

You already know the ones, so I feel free to add them in the comments.

With that said I don't have too much to say here about the dialogue and acting. George Lucas was humble enough to admit that writing dialogue is his weak spot. Hell as a writer myself, dialogue is no joke to struggle with.

You want the dialogue to feel natural to the characters speaking, to convey important information to the audience and to be concise enough to keep the audience interested and not drag their interest. While its inevitable that you'll have filler conversations from time to time, the rest of the time the dialogue should be telling us something about the characters, the world or the story. Even exposition is tolerable or even interesting if used in a way that adds to the story.

I think that the issue people have with the dialogue and by extension the acting in the Prequels is that much of it feels like filler. As though George just threw the scenes in for the sake of having a bridge between the scenes he really wants to focus on. As a result, George writes his scripts in a way that prevents his actors from conveying charisma for his characters.

Before defenders join in, yes I know that the Original Trilogy had wooden dialogue and hookey acting too. The difference is that the editing was way sharper and that he'd written the script in a way to where the characters could have organic and compelling chemistry between them. Therefore, the relationships between the characters, their interactions and their development feels more engaging and interesting. It also helped distinguish each character as the icons that we love them as.

With the prequels, we have a lot of great actors like Ewan McGregor, Ian Mcdiarmid, Samuel L Jackson, Natalie Portman, Liam Neeson and Christopher Lee portraying three dimensional characters within an intricate space opera tragedy. Even Hayden Christenson did a great job as Anakin Skywalker and Jake Lloyd was good as little orphan Annie...I mean little Annie. The problem isn't so much the acting or even the dialogue, but how the actors are directed and how the script is set. These good actors can't bring their A game most of the time because the material they're working with restricts them.

There are exceptions of course. Liam Neeson manages to portray Qui-Gon Jinn with a sense of both wisdom and humanity that made him both interesting and likable. In fact when I think of the archetypical Jedi, I think of either Old Ben Kenobi, Yoda or Qui-Gon. Which made it a bit disappointing to see that Qui-Gon was the exception rather than the rule and that his humanity caused his fellow jedi to snub him for a promotion. But more on that later.

The late great Christopher Lee could star in a Ed Wood film and make it Oscar gold, so of course Count Dooku was great for the brief time he was on screen. Ewan gave his character a great deal of charm and sarcastic wit to Obi-Wan and got better with each movie. Ian Mcdiarmid was great as the evil magnificent bastard Palpatine and could easily be seen as the best portrayed character in the trilogy.

Yet, this is in spite of the script and imagine how much better they and the rest of the cast would have been if the dialogue was just reworked a bit more. However, the reason I'm not too hard on the script is because the dialogue is really symptom of a larger problem that I'll go over later. That problem being that George was mixed around about what was the most information to convey during certain key scenes and discussions.

The Special Effects

Each movie had more practical effects than all of the Original Trilogy movies combined. Granted, that's not much considering that each movie had a budget more than ten times that of the financially constrained Original movies. But it does go to show that George did not neglect the basics of film-making even while playing around with his fancy new computer generated toys.

For example, all of the Trade Federation droids were based on a real model and the same goes for the tanks. They used a combination of miniatures and real locations to create the scene for the Gungan vs Droid battle. They didn't just rely on CGI to depict battle droids like they unfortunately did with the Republic clone troopers. A lot of actors were wearing heavy make-up and special props to convey the aliens they portrayed.

Several locations such as the Pod Racer Stands; the Geonosis Collesium; and more were filmed using real models and then used special effects to compile green screen shots of the actors into the environments. The buildings for the Kamino cloner city was a practical model with cgi water added around it. Places like Theed on Naboo, some of the tree cities on the Wookie homeworld Kashyyyk, Utapau's scenery and some areas in Coruscant are all based on old fashioned practical effects.

So why the complaints about CGI?

I'd say that it's because everything is presented in such a shiny and clean manner that it looks fake to the audience rather CGI or practical. Perhaps the complaints wouldn't be so bad if more was done to make things seem more real. Say for instance, a few of the clone troopers were portrayed by real extras in clone trooper armor and then add in Temura Morrison voiceovers for each clone. Or do what they did in the Matrix Revolutions and Reloaded and make wax masks of Morrison and have the extras wear them with most staying silent and those who talk like Commander Cody being dubbed over by Morrison.

But otherwise, I personally don't mind the computer special effects here. Some say that George lost his way and started using the movie to show off CGI rather than using the CGI to tell a story. While there are some rough parts, I absolutely disagree with this idea. Overall, George is still trying to tell the story and is using CGI as a tool to convey that story in a way that he couldn't do before. Keep in mind that that the techniques he used in the Original Trilogy were pushing the envelop at the time. He's doing the same thing though the only difference is that now there are other movies doing the same thing at that time.

Back in the day, the only Sci-Fi High CCI spectacles that could compete with Star Wars were Flash Gordon, 2001: A Space Odessey, Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Star Trek. But each one were so unique and different that each movie was in its own lane. Plus, each were only one single movie with the exception of Star Trek while Star Wars had three movies. Therefore, Star Wars could make out its own niche without stepping on anyone else's toes.

When the Prequels came out, George has a lot more competition and each one is also pushing the envelop of Special effects. Off the top of my head, the competition consisted of:

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

The First Four Harry Potter Movies

The Chronicles of Narnia

The Matrix and Matrix Sequels

AI Artificial Intelligence

Serenity

Minority Report

Equilibrium

The X-Men Movies

Sam Raimi's Spider Man 1 and 2

Peter Jackson's King Kong

Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds

Signs

I, Robot

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

And so on.

Of course, the Prequel Trilogy was still a great financial hit due to the name recognition of Star Wars and its great hype. However, it was not a guaranteed slam dunk since everyone else is using some of the same tools that George is using. Wowing audiences with new special effect isn't as great vs back in the old days because audiences are seeing special effects in a longer list of movies.

And these aren't just movies from the Asylum either. These are movies that were all critical and financial hits, movies that also impact film-making going forward. Films by younger, ambitious, eager and hungry directors whose skill is more polished and focused. Meanwhile, Lucas has experience but has somewhat rusted and by the time he shook off the rust, the first two movies had already suffered and the trilogy couldn't shake that off.

So I'm not happy to point out some of those long-reaching problems and how they hindered a good trilogy from being truly great. However, I don't bring these problems up to bash the Prequels, but to point out how they could be better and how future writers can do better. Furthermore, I have to bring up these issues up because future Star Wars stories that are anchored to the Prequel trilogy suffer from these flaws and end up having to play catch up for the prequel's shortcomings.

So let's talk about a few of those issues shall we?

The Worldbuilding of the Prequels

The problems with the Prequel's worldbuilding can be centered around the portrayal of the Jedi Order, the Republic and Anakin Skywalker. Most if not all of the problems with the plots of these movies has to directly or indirectly deal with these three entities. If the characterization and portrayal of aforementioned characters and groups were ironed out more and smoothed over, most of the issues that critics have with the Prequels would disappear.

Notice that I focused specifically on problems with the plot and not with the overarching story.

The overall story theme of the Prequels revolves around tragedy and moral falling. The Republic and Anakin are tragic entities that start out on noble high ground, but are brought low by tragic flaws and failures which Palpatine is all too happy to exploit.

The Republic starts as a beacon of democracy, justice, peace and principle, but was hopelessly corrupt, stagnate and compromised due to indecision and bad leadership. Thus, the Republic is transformed into the Evil Empire which wears the shell of the Republic while preparing to pull of a long list of atrocities including building the planet destroying Death Star.

Anakin Skywalker is a great bold and brave hero from humble origins wanting to be a great protector and liberator as a Jedi Knight. However, Anakin's own frustrations with what he can't control and his overwhelming fear of losing the ones he loves fuels his lack of emotional self control. Making him all too vulnerable to Palpatine whispering into his ear and telling him that the dark side can give him the power he wants. That the dark side can help him protect his loved ones and conquer death itself.

Anakin falls for Palpatine's lies hook, lie and sinker and commits the first of many sins as he embraces his role as Darth Vader. But as a result of his own actions and choices, Anakin loses all of his loved ones and is entombed within the Darth Vader armor. His damaged and burned body forever trapped within a prison of his own making. Vader can't even scream in agony because the voice coming out of his helmet isn't even his own.

George even accidentally makes the Jedi into tragic figures, but unfortunately the movie is so bungled on that angle that it doesn't fit quite as well. Mainly because the films can't really make up their minds on if the Jedi are completely right in their beliefs, if the Jedi are wrong or if the audience is left clues and facts with which to decide their answer for themselves.

The overall tragic story of the Prequels gets sadly muddled by one glaring problem that just builds on itself until the internal consistency of the Prequels is left as a big mess.

Let's start with my personal list of:

Too Many Details that don't make sense

So the Trade Federation is blockading Naboo because of new trade route taxation laws? Why? What is it about the new taxes that they don't like?

Seeing as that a big chunk of the Senate, beauracrats and committees are on the Trade Federation's payroll, what do they get from working for Sidious that they don't already have from bribing the Republic government?

The Republic doesn't have an army right? The Trade Federation has control ships with thousands of battle droids? Why doesn't the Trade Federation just take over the Republic? Whose going to stop them? Even the Jedi would be overwhelmed by overwhelming numbers and firepower, so why not?

How did the Trade Federation get enough recognition to be granted representation within the Republic Senate? Do all Interstellar corporations have representation in the Senate? Are there laws in place to keep them from making monopolies and using their economic power and wealth to bribe senators to their side?

Why doesn't the Republic have its own army? I know its peace time, but why wouldn't the Republic have at least a token standing army to deal with lesser threats? Why not have at least some of the hundreds of thousands of member systems contribute even one million volunteers towards a Republic army? Doesn't the republic at least use its wealth to hire mercenary companies when necessary?

If Nute Gunray is such a coward then why isn't he ratting on Sidious after he was caught? How the hell did he avoid both prison time and losing his position as Viceroy after blatantly breaking Republic law and peace? Why is he holding back from joining the Separatists/Confederacy until Padme dies, but is also giving over his droids, tanks and ships to the Confederacy before joining them anyway?

Why is Nute Gunray so committed to being Sidious' puppet despite losing everything and getting absolutely nothing from helping out this mysterious Sith Lord?

In fact, who are the Sith? Why are they bad? What do they want? Are all dark side users Sith? What separates a Sith from other dark side users or jedi? Does a jedi automatically become a sith if they fall to the dark side or are their extra steps? Why do they follow the dark side? Why are there only two sith at a time? Why couldn't the Jedi sense that Palpatine was a sith while he was sitting right in front of them? If the Jedi believed that the Sith were destroyed, then how does Yoda know about the Rule of Two? How does Yoda know that there are always only two sith lords at a time, a master and apprentice? Have the Sith always followed the Rule of Two? Is the Rule of Two a recent change in sith philosophy? If so, how do the jedi know that if the sith were supposed to be wiped out?

Why is Anakin too old to be a jedi at nine or ten years old? Do the Jedi prefer new pupils when their toddlers or infants? Why? Do they convince their parents to give up their kids? Do they steal or abduct the children from their families? How does it make sense for Jedi to be discouraged from attachments, but still to be compassionate? Why is it that Jedi are told to use their feelings, but that their feelings are inherently evil and will lead them to the dark side?

I admit that some of these questions are pedantic and that's part of the point which I will make shortly. Technically, there are answers to the major questions that I just posed. Just like there's answers for why the Jedi don't testify on Amidala's behalf about the Naboo invasion. I am also aware that there's an answer to the question about the Sith. I also know that there's an answer about the Jedi's initiation rules, their ban on marriage, relationships and families and how this ties into Jedi philosophy.

Let's start with the Jedi. The Jedi are basically warrior monks who constantly focus on maintaining peace, harmony, knowledge and serenity with the force. The more attuned with the force that a jedi is, the more that they can harness the power of the force through their mind and body. The Jedi code is all about using your power in the force to serve the greater good and to act with un-muddled clarity and inner calm.

Jedi are encouraged to be compassionate and generally kind to all beings. They are called upon to risk their lives and even sacrifice them to save others without hesitation. The duties and tasks of a Jedi are very daunting and difficult, even successful Jedi have led a very trying life. Thus, the traditional interpretation of the Jedi Code requires that a Jedi remove themselves from all distractions which can interfere with their duties or their constant journey to reach enlightenment with the Force.

According to the Jedi, someone who deeply loves another person narrows their focus and makes them put all of their love into that person instead of everyone. This attachment can be a pathway to strong emotions and passions which can lessen a jedi's connection to the greater energies of the Force. It could also be an opening for the dark side to enter the Jedi's spirit if the jedi were to feel jealousy, anger, lust, or any other passionate emotion that comes with love.

Love can also distract a Jedi's commitment from serving the Republic or the Order. Taking things more personally and emotionally rather than objectively and serenely can interfere with a Jedi's judgment which could endanger lives. Therefore, jedi are forbidden from having any strong attachment outside of the order and recruit initiates at very young ages before they can be imprinted upon by their families or people. This means that the younglings will be more easily introduced into the jedi way without any resistance or hesitation on their part.

Indeed, the Jedi have rarely accepted older initiates into the Jedi Order if the Council deemed the individuals situation or talents worthy of granting an exception to the rule. But training these jedi is more difficult since they're entering with a cup half full already and will have a harder time unlearning what they know to learn what they need to connect their spirits with the Force. They've also already formed their own personalities and will inevitably chafe at aspects of the Jedi lifestyle.

In addition, it's clarified in interviews by George Lucas that Jedi do feel emotions like love its just that they've trained themselves to let those emotions flow and then let them go. They feel sadness, grief, joy and love and then they let the emotion go so that it doesn't become an attachment or obsession. Plus, Jedi are not strictly celibate and are allowed to have sex just without any possessive relationships or attachments involved.

Make of that what you will.

As for the Sith? Well, I've talked all about them in my previous analysis essay:

But to make a long story short, the Sith were created by Jedi Renegades who began to experiment with the Dark Side of the Force. When the Council ordered them to shut down their experiments, the Renegades declared war on the Jedi and Republic. After a hundred years, the Renegades lost and the survivors were banished. In time, these surviving Dark Jedi found their way to Koriban where they became the Lords of the Sith Peoples and interbred with them with their descendants rising up to become the Ancient Dark Lords of the Sith.

For thousands of years, the Sith created empire after empire to fight against the Jedi and the Republic. The Sith were not just defeated in battle with the Jedi and Republic, they were also destroyed from constant in-fighting. The very power of the dark side that empowered them also caused the sith lords to keep fighting and betraying each other. These conflicts inevitably weakened the Sith to where they destroyed themselves or were weakened to where the united and resilient Jedi could defeat them.

The last of the Sith died a thousand years before the Phantom Menace, but that's just what the Jedi believed. In truth, a Sith Lord named Darth Bane had survived and gone into hiding. He took on an apprentice called Darth Zannah and created a new Sith Order which would hide in the shadows. With the Rule of Two, Bane believed that the Sith could operate better through scheming, manipulating galactic events, gathering resources and influence, and training a lineage of sith lords that were meant to become stronger with each succession.

Palpatine as Sidious was the latest of the these Dark Lords of the Sith and murdered his master Darth Plageus in his sleep after learning everything that the Muun Sith knew. The Sith have also been conducting Dark Side rituals to shroud the cosmic essence of the Force with darkness to diminish the Jedi's higher connections with the Force's light. There is so much darkness in the force that it's difficult for Yoda or the Jedi Council to discern through it and it took years for them to detect anything from Palpatine.

The problem is that I only know all of this stuff because I'm a super nerd who has surfed through expanded universe material since I was child. Most of what I wrote is NOT IN THE MOVIES. So you are forgiven if the motivations and actions of the major parties involved either don't make sense or aren't very well explained.

Without proper context or explanation, I might believe that the Trade Federation has a justified grudge against the Naboo. Since we never see the Trade Federation actually hurt anyone and we're only told that people are dying, I'm not so sure that they're bad guys. Yes, I know this isn't true, but the movie isn't helping because they don't make the context and consequences of the Naboo crisis very clear nor am I sure that anyone's in danger since we don't see the Trade Federation doing horrible things to the Naboo people. We're only told about it in passing.

Maybe the Sith were well-intentioned extremists who rose up against their tyrannical emotionless Jedi peers. Perhaps the Jedi were the bad guys in the past and Jedi historical revisionism simply painted the Sith as being the evil ones. Thus, the Sith chose to fight evil with evil for the sake of a grander greater good. Even general fans know this one is false, but the movie didn't exactly paint a clear picture so I wouldn't blame someone for coming up with this idea.

The fact that there is an answer to these questions is not the point. The fact of the matter is that I as a viewer should not have to rely on supplementary material in a novel, comic, video game, or wiki page to understand what's happening in the movie. The movie should be competent enough to display or explain the important information necessary for the audience to understand and experience the plot.

This is especially true because the movies are the primary media through which Star Wars tells its grand saga. Most audiences are immediately familiar with and drawn to the movies as they have since 1977. Even today, most people are only interested in the Expanded Universe because of the mainstream popularity of Star Wars series such as the Clone Wars and the Mandalorian among other properties.

So if there's a good or important detail that's not in the movie, most audiences won't care to search for it. And those who do find that detail will join me and others in wondering why this detail wasn't put in the movie because it would add and clear up so much. Its one thing if said detail is irrelevant, minor or unconnected to the movies. But its baffling for major basic stuff like why the Republic didn't have an army to defend itself with for a thousand years!

It doesn't matter if you have a great theme or story to tell if the plot you use to convey that theme and story sucks. The plot is the vehicle that carries the story, themes and characterizations and while its a tricky thing to manage, it's still crucial to get right. Skimping on plot details and execution is going to cripple how you show off your story and make people less interested in it.

The Original Trilogy didn't explain everything, but it explained exactly what needed to be known for the plots of those three films. The audience understood exactly what they needed to know about the world-building and characters to enjoy the plot and story. Details that are only mentioned or seen briefly served as points of interest which created the expanded universe. But in this case, the expanded universe supplements the Original Trilogy, it was not required reading to understand the plot.

The Expanded Universe is not bad, let me clear about that. Despite some bad apples like Dark Empire, Karen Traviss, The Teras Kasi game, The Holiday Special or etc, most of the Expanded Universe material is entertaining and interesting on average. The Expanded Universe surrounding the Prequel Era is filled with a lot of well thought out characters, themes, stories and events which fleshed out and clarified aspects of the last years of the Old Republic.

In fact, George apparently peeks into the Expanded Universe once in a while to give his endorsement, give tips to the writers and artists and even canonizes places, characters and events into the wider Star Wars canon. Coruscant was actually introduced first in the EU book, Shadows of the Empire before making its debut as the Republic's capital in the Phantom Menace.

Characters such as Aayla Secura and Quinlin Voss were star wars comic characters before making cameo appearances or references in the prequel films. The Sith were first brought up in the Tales of the Jedi series that took place thousands of years before the Prequel Era. General Grievous was first introduced in the first Clone Wars series (2003-2004) by Genndy Tartakovsky at George's personal request. I could go on, but the point is that the Star Wars expanded universe is not only good, but was also vital to maintaining interest in the Star Wars franchise in between movie trilogies.

But that does not excuse the Prequels from constant oversights of basic world-building and plot set-up. This often comes down to where the Prequels shows us things that don't make sense and just raise more questions. Or, the focus of the stories is on things that are better off left unsaid or unexplained. This where George gets the reputation for having great ideas, but bad execution and this flaw of the Prequels is no exception.

If the great idea isn't conveyed well in the movie then it doesn't matter if it's clarified in extra material. It wasn't in the movie so it doesn't count. I can understand speculating on certain aspects like the Si-Fo Dyas mystery, why Jango Fett wants an unaltered clone for himself, the Legend of Darth Plageus, or piecing together Palpatine's plot. However, the movie needs to meet the audience halfway by presenting enough important details on screen.

Because what we do see on screen makes it hard to really care about the Jedi, the Republic or the tragic hero of the saga, Anakin Skywalker. Without proper clarity and context, you could see the Jedi as a cult of emotionless drones who demonize all emotions or any independent thought that challenges total obedience to the Order. It's hard to care about the Republic's fall when its set up so poorly that it seems too stupid to exist. And it's hard to see Anakin as a tragic hero when the movies only get the tragic part mostly right while the hero part is missing.

Speaking of Anakin, there are two world-building elements introduced that hurt both the character and the Prequels in General: Midi-chlorians and the Chosen One Prophecy. In addition, we'll discuss how these tie into shortcomings for his characterization among a lot of other things such as his starting age in this series, the romance with Padme Amidala and how the story misses the “heroic” aspect that's meant to tie into his ultimate tragedy.

However, I've kept you good people for long enough so that will be all for today my friends...

Continued in Part 2

[lledxela]

Overwatch Anniversary Sprays and their meanings: 2018 Edition

Last year I made a post of all the card meanings, and this year I decided to update it!

Ana: Ace of Hearts

The Aces of the deck often bring forth a strong personality, one who is eager to express their uniqueness and individuality. The Ace of Hearts♥ expression comes in the area of emotional expression, self-exploration and finding someone to love them. They do enjoy their own company and do well using alone time for personal, creative pursuits. Prone to restlessness as an odd-numbered card, they learn through the experience of trial and error. A life task of the Ace of Hearts♥ person is to learn gratitude and selflessness. x

Bastion: Ten of Clubs

Their enthusiasm and confidence lends an ability to hold the attention of an audience while pouring forth knowledge on a beloved subject. Due to a life-long desire to learn and grow, finding just one career path and sticking to it can be most challenging for this card. However, once that decision is made, there’s no stopping Ten of Clubs♣ people. They will learn all there is to know and then generously and graciously share that knowledge with all who will listen. The Ten of Clubs♣ is known as the “teacher” card and enjoys receiving and sharing knowledge, usually to large groups or some type of audience: the bigger, the better. x

Brigitte: 8 of Spades

All Eights exude power, but the Eight of Spades♠ is the “Eight of the Eights” in the Cards of Life.  Strong-willed and determined, this Eight can move mountains if it suits them, whether it is in health, healing or work. How best to channel this energy is a life journey for the Eight of Spades♠: to make a powerful contribution in life or to be willful. People of this card and suit are ultimately here to experience life and themselves through work/labor, health, death/dying, wisdom and/or spirituality. x

D.va: Ten of Hearts

No one enjoys an audience more than the Ten of Hearts♥ person. Whether it is their own family, a large group of friends, or a crowd of fans, these people love being up front, noticed and admired. Naturally expressive and creative, they excel in public arenas. The Ten of Hearts♥ enjoys an active life and staying busy in general. Whether it’s an active social life or a passion for their work, they like to keep moving and love to travel. Networking through their work or their hobbies comes naturally to this card as the energy builds for their passions. x

Doomfist: 9 of Clubs

The Nine of Spades♠ in Mercury in their life script indicates that this person, very early in life, may experience challenging losses and endings. Coupled with their Six of Hearts♥ in Saturn, they learn great lessons from their relationships. From quite a young age, the Nine of Clubs♣ person experiences the essence of their card: maintaining a positive outlook in difficult situations strengthens, seeking creative solutions enhances, turning to a higher power for inspiration, guides.

When all these resources unite, a Nine of Clubs♣ person has all the power tools they need to construct a successful and rewarding life. Developing a strong work ethic and clear direction are essential for unlocking their inherent potential. Likely to be opinionated, if not out-right headstrong, the Nine of Clubs♣ can be a force to be reckoned with when confronted. x

Genji: Jack of Clubs

One bright idea after another, the Jack of Clubs♣ is one truly creative individual. With progressive ideas, creativity and mental acuity, these people can be clever using their mental prowess to manifest that on which they place their attention. The Jack of Clubs♣ needs to learn to give and take in relationships through compromise and cooperation. The temptation to control, rebel or resist is fairly strong and these influences lead to stressful relationships. x

Hanzo: King of Diamonds

Members of the royal Court Cards are known for having strong personalities and Kings, in particular, are famous for being strong-willed, confident and authoritative. The King of Diamonds, a natural born leader as the master of higher values, is all that and quite enterprising as well. There may be a playful quality to the King of Diamonds throughout life from Jack of Spades’ position: both responsible and a rogue all rolled into one. x

Lucio: Jack of Diamonds

Like all Jacks in the deck, the Jack of Diamonds♦ is young at heart, playful and social with a nimble mind. There’s a social ease with the Jack of Diamonds♦ that can make them a welcome addition, or focal point, of any business dinner or networking  event. A spirit of independence arises from an innate connection to inner guidance allowing Jack of Diamonds♦ people to follow their instincts and make the most of opportunities. x

McCree: Jack of Spades

Charming, resourceful, personable and easy-going best define the Jack of Spades. Blessed with a creative mind, this one-eyed Jack of the deck manifests easily the object of their desire. A challenge for them is to operate with integrity and honesty. Since life flows rather effortlessly to the Jack of Spades person, they are forever enamored with taking the easy way out, tempted to stretch the truth as a means to an end. Should they choose the lower vibration of their card, the knave, they eventually achieve very little of real value in their life. Blessed with powerful cards in their Master Life Script, the Jack of Spades can, however, advance well in life when acting from integrity and discipline. x

Mei: Ten of Diamonds

As one of the most fortunate cards in the deck with its Jupiter/Jupiter placement in the Master Life Script, the Ten of Diamonds experiences many blessings in life. It also suggests a desire for a lavish lifestyle, so self-discipline is necessary to resist overspending. Their Ace of Diamonds card in Mars suggests ambition and drive with a touch of impatience as well. Bestowed with good luck on their side, the Ten of Diamonds can accomplish great things and tackle any issue before them.  They would be wise to consider others as well as themselves to keep the good karma flowing. x

Mercy: Queen of Clubs

A quick study, the Queen of Clubs♣ truly enjoys being well informed on any topic of their choosing. As a result, they often prefer to direct according to their own authority on a subject rather than follow another.  They are always aware of their royal status and often take charge of whatever they’re doing rather than meekly following another leader. Meek is not in their makeup. They can be driven, often balancing two jobs at once, and are happiest when able to contribute to a greater cause. x

Moira: 9 of Hearts

As the alternating Semi-Fixed Card (often called a Soul Twin) with the Seven of Diamonds, the Nine of Hearts holds only two positions: the Saturn/Saturn position and the Venus/Venus position in both Master Scripts (Spiritual and Life). Due to this “semi-fixed” nature, the influences on this card are always imbued with either double Venus or double Saturn energies throughout their life.

While Saturn is the taskmaster, encouraging integrity, diligence, hard work and responsibility, Venus evokes a warm, magnetic personality that energizes relationships. This see-saw of life for the Nine of Hearts person is to balance the impersonal with the personal, disciplined structure with artistic flow, working to achieve success both personal or professional and being willing to let it all go. x

Orisa: Nine of Spades

The Nine of Spades has the strongest calling to let go of attachments in life and move toward giving to others. Influenced heavily by kingly energy, a certain amount of dignity accompanies this card. This card also provides them a certain charm with the public and an ability to control their emotions. Being out in front of others provides them an opportunity to use their innate gifts for the benefit of others. Blessed with charisma and charm, they can excel in public positions. x

Pharah: Queen of Diamonds

With so many Threes in their life script, the Queen of Diamonds is bursting with innovative ideas and the drive to see them through. They may have several different careers in quest for their true expression, but none of that energy is wasted as they build on their experiences from one to the next. The Queen of Diamonds makes the most of these transitions by making the necessary changes and taking on a new challenge in the spirit of freedom of movement. Blessed with endless creativity, it sees them through to the next opportunity. x

Reaper: Ace of Clubs

They seek new information, new ways of thinking and unique ideas. With a deep need for mental stimulation, the Ace of Clubs♣ is the consummate seeker of knowledge. They don’t care for being alone and perhaps experiment with others, just as they do knowledge, until they find themselves by finding that special someone.  Yet, many Ace of Clubs♣ confess that theirs is a difficult dilemma to reconcile: having a great fear of being alone and having a desperate need for solitude and the solitary experience. It is usually a tug of war for them. With the Ace of Spades♠ in Saturn in their Life Script, it is likely that in mid-life there will be a major transformation of some kind. x

Reinhardt: King of Hearts

Love is the greatest power in the universe and no one knows this better than the King of Hearts. Embodying emotional strength and the authority inherent in a King, they make excellent leaders, whether they lead a business or a family. sually as a devoted parent, King of Hearts people expend equally as much loving care to their children as they do dedication toward their career. Not overly warm or loving toward anyone outside of their family “kingdom”, this King has clear boundaries about meeting others’ expectations. Their family kingdom often includes workmates with whom they share mutual trust and respect. x

Soldier 76: Ace of Spades

People with this card have the ability to reach spiritual truths more readily than perhaps any other card. Due to this merging of spiritual and mundane, being and doing, this card may experience a conflict between the two as they attempt to achieve balance in their life. Their Seven of Hearts♥ Challenging Karma Card (-KC) and Seven of Hearts♥ in Mercury in the Master Life Scriptindicate many life lessons involving relationships. Deeply sensitive, under their accomplished and stoic exterior, they may have experienced emotional abandonment in early in life carrying a long lasting impact. Having faith in others, accessing forgiveness and unconditional love is a theme for many Ace of Spades♠ people. x

Sombra: Queen of Spades

Often a shining example of power and authority, the Queen of Spades embodies the innate ability to achieve.  As born leaders, they sense the need to rise to the top and will experience deep fulfillment when they answer their call to greatness. Intelligent, well-spoken and independent, Queen of Spades people are naturals in positions of public speaking, education and writing. x

Symmetra: 9 of Diamonds

When the abundance of the universe is doubted, the letting go of material things can be a challenge. Aligning with trust in a benign universe and willingly letting go for the benefit of others allows for more to flow into their life and thus is the higher expression of this card. A sharp intellect accompanies this card and as such these people can be excellent leaders and listeners, able to manifest a mental construct into a material expression. x

Torbjorn: King of Clubs

Due to many lifetimes, the King of Clubs has amassed a resource of knowledge from which to draw with authority. They live this life on their own terms, from their unique perspective and have a commanding presence both physically and mentally. Preferring the leadership position, they demonstrate initiative and drive. With a brilliant mind, they can project an assuredness on any topic they choose. Information flows effortlessly through them. King of Clubs people can be rather practical in relationships as well as stubborn and strict. With strong family values, there’s nothing they wouldn’t do for their children. They prefer stability and harmony at home and feel a deep sense of loyalty to those they love. x

Tracer: Ace of Diamonds

Ambitious and hardworking, the Ace of Diamonds♦ focuses on fulfilling their material needs nearly to the exclusion of all else. Independent and determined, they often gravitate toward leadership and entrepreneurial roles in life. With an inborn restlessness regarding relationship norms and constructs, the Ace of Diamonds♦ person is likely to again focus on what they want from life without limiting their options. They may begin a relationship with great enthusiasm and be just as enthusiastically pulled in another direction. Finding a way to keep their emotions steady can be a lifelong journey for the Ace of Diamonds♦. x

Widowmaker: Queen of Hearts

Charming, magnetic and often quite attractive, the Queen of Hearts has an innate ability to have favorable influence over others. The “Mother of Higher Love” commands powerful emotions of empathy and compassion with a flair for the dramatic, a potent combination that makes this card, when in a tight spot, prone to excitability or moodiness. With such a strong sensual nature, Queen of Hearts people enjoy the pleasures of life: art, entertainment, food and leisure. x

Winston: Jack of Hearts

As though listening to a higher calling, the Jack of Hearts is drawn toward helping others. With ample personal charisma and charm combined with a charitable disposition, they are often as popular in their circle of friends as they are among their co-workers. They can be playful and youthful and resist their natural calling. As one of three immovable Fixed Cards in the Cards of Life, the Jack of Hearts person is somewhat “fixed” in their nature and personality. Dependable and noble at their core, their life task is one of service through love. Naturally generous with their time and energy, they are drawn toward philanthropy and social causes. They must be careful as they often over-give to the point of depletion. x

Zarya: Ten of Spades

Whatever the Ten of Spades works toward, it’s full speed ahead. They may have many interests and could enjoy a lifelong love of learning that contributes to their skill sets. Any mental restlessness is often directed toward furthering their careers or their education. They truly appreciate family and are committed to the well-being of those they love. x

Zenyatta: King of Spades

The King of Spades♠ is one of the three immovable Fixed Cards in the Cards of Life and resides in the Crown Line of both Master Scripts (Spirit and Life). It is, by position, the most powerful card in the deck. As the King of Kings, he is the master of all trades, with the ability to achieve great things in any profession of his choosing.  Capable of shouldering tremendous responsibility, King of Spades♠ people can be noble leaders of any organization, but all too often the load is a crown too heavy to bear. They have the option, through self-discipline, inner strength and effort, to achieve great success far and away from a mundane and simple life, if they so choose. x

Junkrat and Roadhog: Jokers

So, which will they be: youthfully exuberant, entertaining, shape-shifting, and independent or hardworking, practical and opinionated? People of this card can play their hand any way that suits them and at any time. As though they are both the child and the parent, they bring the vitality and innocence of youth alongside the wisdom and responsibility of the adult. Always faced with a choice to be either the child or the adult, the life task of a Joker may be to embody the divine qualities of both. Truly, a multifaceted individual, the Jokers in life have a vast and wide personality with huge potential for a dynamic, enriching life or just a frivolous one.  The choice is ultimately theirs to make. x