#How trans activism harms women
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ex-foster · 9 months ago
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"At least 181 of the 244 transgender inmates, more than 74 per cent, are in jail for crimes including rape, forcing under-age children into having sex, grievous bodily harm and robbery."
"More than 70 per cent of transgender prisoners in British jails are serving sentences for sex offences and violent crimes, government figures have revealed."
"A former prisoner governor, said that in her experience most trans women prisoners changed their gender only when they came into contact with the criminal justice system."
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fatfemmefreaquency · 1 month ago
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. probably gonna delete this later
#not to rant in the tags or anything but i honestly cannot BELIEVE some of you still follow or reblog vaspider content#they are a Zionist and have spread blatant pro-israel propaganda#theyre a white convert to judaism and they actively support israel whether or not they acknowledge that is their material impact#they have spread conspiracy theory nonsense about ‘Hamas operatives in Gazan hospitals’ and justified war crimes#they also have actively accused just regular Muslims of being antisemitic#theyre the worst kind of crybully ‘leftist’ and they do their crybullying in favour of FUCKING GENOCIDE#like what the FUCK y’all i cannot believe anyone is willingly circulating their posts & additions to other people’s posts#this is someone with an easily observable habit of spreading extremely pernicious and harmful misinformation#someone who has jumped on bandwagons to accuse Palestinians of being scammers#fucking hold your friends accountable because spider is a pro-empire islamophobe who supports genocide in the middle east#idk why americans and westerners in general just give zero shits about Zionism among leftists but uhhhh i’m assuming it’s white supremacy#it can’t be said enough that Zionism is a white supremacist ideology#and a white american who supports zionism is a white supremacist regardless of if they are jewish or queer or poor or claim to be an ally#y’all are so fucking stupid for falling for ‘progressives’ and ‘queers’ and trans people who are literal white supremacists#sorry but it has to be said#so so fucking stupid#pay better attention#also dont get me started on spider being repeatedly transmisogynist it is so fucking bad#just because youre anti radfem and a transmasc does NOT give you a free pass to hate trans women publicly#OBVIOUSLY#being a transmisogynist transmasc is so fucking evil its not even funny#and the whole thing where people hide their transmisogyny and misogyny in general under the guise of ‘supporting transmasculinity’ is gross#i really really cant stress enough how reactionary spider is and the harm that they do on here because of their shitty politics
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slut-lord · 3 months ago
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i kinda want to write a deep dive essay on silence of the lambs WRT gender and transmisogyny bc it's actually a much more complicated topic than a lot of people realise
#like basically yes the portrayal is ultimately deeply transmisogynistic and damaging#even the actor that played the character admitted that while he'd gone very out of his way to play the character not as a trans woman but#as a deeply homophobic cishet man#and done a lot of research on LGBT issues and life at the time#the trans women he met during that research told him how the felt and he ended up reaching out to the community to make amends several time#so like this isn't new discourse either-- transfems of the time didn't like it#another issue is there's a lot of lines from the book that never made it into the movie#lines that make it very explicitly clear that not only is the character not trans but that the author does not view trans people as violent#“There’s no correlation in the literature to transsexualism and violence. Transsexuals are very passive.”#actual quote from the book#and the director has also acknowledged his adaption did not drive this point home well enough and apologised profusely for that#and to be clear i don't know if the author has spoken about this#it does seem he was working with the best standards at the time but likely hadn't actually spoken at length to a trans woman before#and i think that's the real problem here#like i feel like it really speaks volumes of how transmisogyny works that like#even if everyone involved goes out of their way to actively try to avoid and debunk transmisogyny in their writing#if you don't actually spend time around trans women in real life and rely solely on impersonal “research” you're gonna shit the bed#and end up making one of the worst trans misogynistic caricatures of all time while actively trying to do the literal opposite#and i think that relates a lot to how modern transmisogyny is the way it is like all these tme ppl online supposedly trying their hardest#to be trans positive#and maybe some of them genuinely think they are#but most of them also don't have any TMA friends or peers some of them have never even spoken to a trans woman knowingly before#and also have never unpacked that#like you can do all the research you want but ultimately there will always be a level of dehumanisation and a lack of touch with reality#if you aren't actually talking to the people involved#you cannot unlearn transmisogyny without interacting with TMA people#and just because you were trying to be trans positive doesn't mean you actually were trans positive#nor does it erase the harm done
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musical-chick-13 · 1 year ago
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The THING is. When people (I am including myself in this) try to talk about how "Why is there overall less of an emphasis on women's stories and female characters and f/f shipping, especially when according to the stats we see being shared, fandom is significantly populated by queer women, hmm this seems a bit strange," there's ALMOST ALWAYS this assumption that it comes from a place of gender essentialism or purity culture or hating every single man for existing or something. ARE there some people who mean that? Yeah, there are going to be people like that in EVERY group of people who try to talk about anything. But when people complain about this, it's most generally because WE EXPERIENCE STRUCTURAL MISOGYNY IRL, AND NOW WE ARE EXPERIENCING THE SAME SOCIAL EFFECTS WITHIN SOMETHING THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE "FUN." THAT IS THE PROBLEM.
And this goes for when people try to talk about racism in fandom spaces as well. And ableism. And transphobia. And any other form of prejudice you can think of. Is talking about this in one (1) context that is not directly political going to forever eliminate bigotry? No. Obviously not. But the thing about systemic bias and prejudice is that IT IS PRESENT AT EVERY LEVEL, EVEN THE "FUN" ONES.
#THERE IS NUANCE IN THIS CONVERSATION#fandom misogyny#misogyny in fandom#like...honestly I don't think the Main Problem re: ignoring stories about women or the women in stories is Fetshizing MLM™ actually.#I mean there's some of that that goes on. there's some of that that goes on in regard to characters of color or trans narratives or f/f#media too. there are people who dehumanize people through over-sexualization in EVERY context unfortunately. HOWEVER. I AM#wondering how much of that assumption comes from an attempt to explain the disparity between the focus on queer men#& queer women. personally I think a lot more of it is related to misogyny than we think it is but I'm not omniscient I'm just evaluating#things in accordance to dialogue I've observed and my own personal life experience which is ADMITTEDLY IMPERFECT AND INCOMPLETE#(you have NO IDEA how much shit I've gotten over the years simply for being a woman and no other reason.)#(and if it wasn't for being a woman it was for being disabled)#(and there's a particular intersection of THOSE things I feel like there could be more discussion about too)#and the thing about 'fandom isn't activism' is about how IT SHOULDN'T BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR REAL-WORLD EFFORTS.#it's about how YOU CANNOT ACTUALLY HARM FICTIONAL CHARACTERS BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT REAL.#it doesn't mean 'we never examine personal bias at all because this is a hobby'. I played soccer as a hobby once. I danced as a hobby once.#the sports and dance worlds are still affected by bias and prejudice and that should be discussed and evaluated accordingly#fandom is still MADE UP OF real people. and the people who create and/or act in the pieces of media that spawn fandoms#ARE ALSO real people. looking at the effects ON THOSE /REAL PEOPLE/ is still important in understanding structural prejudice and#oppression. (and...lbr. how many actresses and poc have gotten harassment and threats just for playing a character. for having the#audacity to exist in a popular piece of media as a woman or poc. because. the number is. distressingly high.)#(I myself have been the target of shitty forms of harassment just for DRESSING UP AS AN UNPOPULAR FEMALE CHARACTER AT A CONVENTION)#it might be one thing if all of this NEVER translated into how people viewed and affected real life people. if it ALWAYS stayed within the#context of playing around with fictional characters BUT IT RARELY DOES! IF EVER!!!#anyway I say nothing new but I saw something that made me angry. and until people Get It™ I am going to keep screaming about it#y'all knew what you signed up for :)#you know what I'm not even going to tag this with my general conversation tag for this phenomenon because I think people need to#see this occasionally
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bellamysgriffin · 2 years ago
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late night thought but i can’t get over how fucking bleak it is to look at how transphobia has managed to be incredibly harmful not only to the trans community but also to gnc cis women, because now we have huge swaths of people essentially saying that any lack of femininity or appearance of androgyny means you must be trans and therefore The Enemy, which is really another way of saying that there is One Right Way to be a woman which is such an incredibly anti-feminist ideal and yet so many self-proclaimed feminists are obsessively perpetuating it
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taliabhattwrites · 3 months ago
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The most widespread form of transmisogyny within the queer community is denying trans women epistemic authority.
Which means: people do not believe us on our own experiences. They frequently assume any and all oppression we face must be mild or must simply be anti-effeminacy instead of "real misogyny". We are considered to be exaggerating the material consequences of bigotry on us and assumed to not experience various harms that we in fact do, including medical misogyny, sexual violence, CSA, being infantilized and dismissed, being inadequately represented (since most popular depictions of us are cissexist caricatures and do not authentically portray our lived realities!), and more besides.
Perhaps the most hysteria inducing aspect of this is being told that our testimony is not frequently dismissed, BY PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTIVELY DISMISSING OUR TESTIMONY ON HOW MUCH MISOGYNY AND DEGENDERING AND VIOLENCE WE EXPERIENCE.
We are not "new to oppression". We do not have to be taught what it is like to be feminized and dehumanized under patriarchy. We are painfully familiar with how misogyny operates and experience it regularly, in addition to having to justify even to "our" communities that we do in fact experience it!
That, my friends, is the core of transmisogyny: being dehumanized while being denied the right to even name one's oppression or have it be acknowledged as such!
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genderqueerdykes · 7 months ago
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if you are a trans man or masc, masculine nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid or other gender non conforming identity, masc gay, a bear, a butch, stud, or boi, or other masculine queer person and don't feel welcome in any queer spaces, you're not alone.
the communities both irl and online have become EXTREMELY hostile toward mascs and men to the point of straight up excluding us and changing their wording to justify their violent exclusion. from renaming nonbinary spaces to "femme & them" and "she+" spaces, to telling men & mascs that they would "Scare" the women and "nonbinary" folks just by being there, as if masculinity and manhood are inherently traumatizing to be around.
masculine and male nonbinary folks have it so hard- most nonbinary spaces are almost definitely women's spaces who also conflate womanhood with nonbinaryhood, and often times just view nonbinary people as confused women. we are not inherently traumatizing to be around: masc enbies need places to go. we are still nonbinary and still trans and still queer for fucks' sake
nonbinary has never and will never mean femme or woman-adjacent inherently. nonbinary means what it means: people who don't or refuse to adhere to the gender binary, regardless of what side it is. masculinity is included in this, femininity is not the only way to be nonbinary.
masc queers do not have to bend over backwards to try to be more feminine and thus "less threatening" in order to have places to go. that's dysphoric and just inaccurate to a lot of queer folks' identity and presentation. it blows my mind because it makes no sense, anyway, even within the gay community, hypermasculinity has been present and even sought after by some people who find it very attractive, twunks, hunks, bears... but between the periods in queer history people started viewing masc gay leathermen and kinksters as the ones who were responsible for spreading AIDS and thus removing them from pride parades,
AND the lesbian separatism moment picking up to remove butches & male & masc lesbians from lesbian spaces identity, paving the way for modern rdical femniism, we've only entered a downhill landslide of hating men and mascs and ultimately trying to erase us from the queer community entirely.
the queer community is not the "women & femmes community". the queer experience is broad and vast, it includes a wide variety of masculine and male experiences, as well as genderfluid, multigender, completely ungendered and other gendered experiences. the lesbian, trans, bisexual, nonbinary, gay and general queer communities aren't the "safe place to hide from men & mascs community" like estranged rdfems and terfpilled trans folk like to tell you they are.
this is the QUEER community and it includes ALL forms of queerness, masc, femme, butch, male, neutral, bigender, neutral, and all. he/shes and he/hims and he/theys and he/its and so on are just as much of a part of this communities as she/hers and they/thems. you can't cast a blanket of "inherently abusive" over all men and mascs and one of "inherently abused/incapable of being abusive" over all women and femmes because that just traps you in a fantasy land that doesn't exist AND it prevents mascs and men from getting the help, resources and community they NEED.
men & mascs are hurt and abused by women & femmes every day and we refuse to speak about them because we live under a white cisheteronormal patriarchy and have complaints about how that functions. the complaints are legitimate but assuming that all men and mascs are oppressing all women and femmes and that women can never be oppressive is a false as hell narrative that actively damages people.
enough is enough. this mindset is hurting people. it's leaving masc and male queers to be estranged, harmed and even dead. i care about you if you're being affected by this mentality and these behaviors. you deserve community, safety, and a sense of belonging, you do belong, even if we struggle to form our own spaces due to unjust hatred. we will do our best to band together and keep each other safe. we must
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vintage-bentley · 5 months ago
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David Tennant is a perfect example of how gender ideologists are their own worst enemy. Repeatedly, it’s their own awful behaviour that turns people against them. Look at JK Rowling: it wasn’t just what she said that got people siding with her, it was the reaction from gender ideologists. If they had just brushed her off and ignored her, I don’t think she’d be as relevant in the debate as she is now.
So now we have Tennant, hailed as an amazing trans ally to the point that he wins an ally award for textbook performative allyship. And he decided to call gender critical feminists “little whinging f------” (no idea what the f word is, this is from the Telegraph), continuing with “who’re on the wrong side of history and they’ll all go away soon”.
Women who are simply concerned about our sex-based rights. About the protection of women as a class in law. About the ability to organise together without the presence of male people, which is crucial for class consciousness and therefore feminist progress. Lesbians who are being told we’re bigoted for not being attracted to males, and that we need to change (who I mention because lesbians have been very vocal in this debate for this reason).
This is a heterosexual male who is looking at these women, and deciding that our very real concerns are just “whinging”. Because of course he is, our concerns don’t affect him. Of course he claims we’ll “go away soon”, presumably because men like him will silence us. This is the same shit that was being said about the suffragettes. About the Me Too movement. About any kind of feminist movement. That we just need to shut up and go away.
And we’re supposed to believe that this typical male view of women is super progressive this time, because it’s in the name of trans activism?
Less and less people are willing to believe that. More are starting to see the misogyny and homophobia that fuels gender ideology, all because the people who advocate for it are always so quick to let it show.
They are always so quick to claim that their biggest enemies are feminists, and not the violent men that actually wish them harm. They are always so quick to attack women first and foremost.
And people are noticing. They noticed when JK Rowling started to speak up, and they’re noticing now that a male celebrity has gone on record voicing hatred for feminists in the name of gender ideology. They’ll notice again when the next celebrity either speaks up or bashes women.
I hope Tennant enjoys his shiny ally award, all while his actions are causing women to turn against him and his cause.
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thehmn · 1 year ago
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I’m intersex and I’m very hesitant to make this post because it could very quickly turn into a shitshow if I don’t word my thoughts correctly, but I’ve noticed a small, slowly growing trend and I think it’s important to talk about this before it gets out of hand.
I’ve seen a couple of posts with a lot of likes and reblogs where trans people accuse intersex people of being transphobic when they want hormonal treatment or surgery for themselves to look more female or male. It’s never about forced surgery on intersex children, but specifically about adult intersex people who want treatment for themselves. In these posts people see it as subconscious transphobia because they think this mindset is supporting the gender binary and harms trans and nonbinary people who technically get intersex bodies once they start to transition with hormones and surgeries. In their eyes not only are intersex people who use hormones/surgery to visually get out of the intersex sphere abandoning trans people, they’re also working agains nonbinary people who use intersex people as proof that there are more than two sexes which justify the existence of more than two genders.
The fact that there are a lot of similarities between trans and intersex people should be obvious. Both groups are saddled with bodies that doesn’t necessarily represent their gender and both can experience severe body dysmorphia, but at the end of the day the biggest difference is that the bodies of intersex people change on their own.
If you’re trans, imagine if you were assigned your preferred gender at birth and was perfectly content and happy in your gender experience when you suddenly hit puberty and start developing sex characteristics that goes against your gender and suddenly people around you start telling you you’re not actually the gender you think you are. Basically, imagine the way you felt before you came out/transitioned, except reversed.
I can for the life of me not understand why a trans person who thinks hormones and surgeries are acceptable for trans people can’t extend that mindset to intersex people.
It’s an ongoing debate among intersex people wether we belong in queer spaces and I can see both sides. A lot of intersex people consider themselves cishet people with a birth deformity who aren’t any more queer than people with dwarfism. Other intersex people feel more at home in queer spaces because there’s generally more acceptance of people who fall outside the norm.
But at the same time, in my experience, you get a lot of the same questions in both spaces. Both queer and cishet people often assume intersex means nonbinary, and I’ve been asked more than once how intersex people can call themselves cis or trans when their bodies fall outside the two majority sexes, forgetting that it’s all about what gender you were assigned at birth.
This leads to situations where you’ll meet trans men with functioning penises and trans women with natural breasts. A child might be born with something that looks like a vagina with a big clitoris and be assigned female but once they hit puberty the big clitoris becomes a small penis.
And even if they’re trans and start developing sex characteristics more in line with their true gender they might not be ready for it yet. As a teenager you become a target if you stand out so if you’re a trans girl living as a boy and you suddenly develop breasts that can be horrifying.
I personally experienced a much milder version of this. As a child I was perfectly content with people calling me a girl but I also felt like a different kind of girl. Not in a “not like the other girls” or tomboy way. More like a girl with something else in the mix. It was a very physical feeling because I was naturally stronger and more boyish looking than other girls and I didn’t really feel like I fit in with either boys or girls but at the same time it didn’t bother me when I was grouped in with the girls during school activities. I’d play around with makeup in my room, giving myself a beard and chest hair without wanting to be a man. It just felt like the right mix. Then I hit puberty for real and developed breasts and hips but also a full beard and chest hair. Despite all the times I had done it to myself I was mortified. This wasn’t something I could take off. I stood out wether I wanted to or not. Shaving left me with stubble. People looked. People commented on it. And my breasts didn’t grow super big and a lot of my body fat sat on my stomach like on a man, which meant if I didn’t wear a very flattering bra and feminine clothes I was sometimes mistaken for a chubby guy with manboobs. I was NOT ready for that. I was already struggling to fit in at a new school so this was like a social death sentence, not to mention I wasn’t sure about my own gender yet. It was something I should be allowed to work out on my own in peace when I was ready for it without people constantly asking what I, a child, had in my pants.
So hormones was a gift that allowed me to “transition” when I was ready for it at a later age. I’m off those hormones now and live as a “woman with something extra” like I always knew I was, but the things I had to go through as a child makes me very sympathetic to intersex people who does not feel that way and just want to be a man or woman with nothing extra because that’s their gender and like everyone else they want their gender and gender expression to align.
I don’t think it’s fair to expect people to be a martyr for other people. Most intersex people think trans rights are important but that doesn’t necessarily mean they belong in that debate. I know a lot of trans people who think women’s rights are important but feel no obligation to help the cause by sharing their experience of what it was like living as one gender and then another and how much respect and dignity they gained or lost after they transitioned.
So while I understand the natural instinct of wanting intersex people be part of a lager cause I also think it’s unfair to call intersex people who want to look like their preferred gender transphobic.
I really hope I made myself understood and that this isn’t an angry post. I just saw this “intersex people are transphobic for taking hormones” opinion with little to no understanding of the intersex experience and I’m hoping to shed a bit of light on that ❤️
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hummingbird-hunter · 1 year ago
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A thing that really saddens me to see is how many young trans people lose faith in feminism, from believing it obsolete to actively thinking that feminism is harmful to them. I don't want to throw words "chronically online" around, but in its core, that belief is directly caused by the (very loud) presence of terfs and radfems in online spaces, misappropriating the term to fuel their hatefulness.
Go outside, talk to some real people, and don't let the bigoted bioessentialism of a few conservative women colour your opinion of an entire (still very important) social movement. Feminism is your ally, not your enemy.
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mr-ribbit · 11 months ago
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this isn't meant to soften or reduce the objective transmisogyny + additional hate action going into this, but since the people running these harassment campaigns are acting like they're literal baby children who need their hands held to understand anything, maybe this needs to be said:
what you're doing and how you treat trans women on this website is fucking MEAN. if you want to sit there and honestly convince yourself that you're *not* a transmisogynist or a transphobe or a misogynist or any other type of bigot - like if you genuinely believe that and are confused why people are calling you these things - then maybe we need to start from little primary colored building blocks and tell you that you're being fucking mean and rude and actively harmful to real people who read the things you say. im not sure why we need to start off with "trans women have feelings" - just kidding I know exactly why we need to - but maybe you don't.
no matter who you're talking to, do you honestly think accusing someone you do not know of being a pedophile, en masse, behind their back /and/ in a public forum, is a reasonable way to treat someone for making a tumblr post about video games or political opinions? even if you strongly disagree with the post, you think someone deserves to be treated like that by people they don't know? take a second please and sincerely imagine how that would feel. wouldn't it be scary? wouldn't you wonder who the people were who thought this about you - if they're people you know - if they're just a few people that will continue saying mean things to you forever or if there are thousands of people who choose to dedicate their time and energy specifically to making you feel bad? if you accidentally write a post in the wrong tone or unknowingly interact with a shitty person, that there are uncountable people that will keep track of that just to hurt you later? that's fucking horrifying
and to zone in on what's specifically happening here: do you think randomly accusing people of being pedophiles or sexual abusers has no effect on them? like a lot of you tend to excuse yourself in these discussions by saying "I didn't actually see the context of what they were saying" or "I didn't see that they apologized already" or "I didn't actually understand the post was a joke" or whatever other kneejerk response to make sure *you* aren't seen as a bad person. do you realize that makes you look even meaner? you didn't bother to actually follow up on a thought you had about someone before sending them hateful messages or making public accusations about them? those actions are harmful whether or not you like the victim at the end of the day.
believe it or not some people you send this shit to are survivors of abuse themselves, or have their own historical personal reasons to be weighing in on a touchy subject. when you baselessly decide it's ok to call someone an abuser of any type, that person is probably *also* disgusted by whatever horrible shit you're accusing them of. as someone that hates these things as much as you do in order to attack someone for them: what do you think it's like to have complete strangers think that about you? how many eggshells would you walk on if random people thought so little of you that they were ok doing this?
it's mean. it's heinous, cruel bullying, and if you genuinely think you are not doing it from a place of transmisogyny or hatefuk bias over the victims' identity, then you need to understand that that's not an excuse. "i didn't even know she was trans" ok, it was still mean to call her a pedophile with 200 of your closest friends in public. "im trans so it can't be transphobia" ok it was still mean to assume someone was endorsing abuse when they were talking about being accused of abuse. "i didn't see the post where she said it was a joke" ok it was still mean to actively harass someone without bothering to look into the full context.
at the end of the day, yes, obviously I still think you're all transmisogynist assholes who are clearly willing to gang up on a woman who has nothing to do with your problems simply because she dared to speak on them. i think you're bigoted and unwilling to examine that if it means giving up your vitriol against someone who doesn't like your favorite video game or whatever excuse of the week. but like even if you were just doing it for love of the hate game, it's fucking weird heinous shit and i hope you're happy having that be a central part of your life
to be clear: im not transfemme and if I'm overstepping or talking over anyone please let me know. im not speaking for anyone's actual experiences except my own, which is the experience of being angry at how much literal bullying and harassment I see excused on this so-called progressive queer blogging website
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lizzy-frizzle · 9 months ago
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Just to be clear, I'm not going to deactivate this blog, or any blog. I'm incredibly frustrated, but I don't believe that deleting my blog would do anything meaningful besides erase myself. Enough people do that to us. It's also really disheartening to see a social media go down a path that could lead to erasing a ton of historically significant information - twitter, tumblr, hell even myspace when it used to be a thing. The loss of a social media site is more than just the loss of your friends, it actively harms anyone trying to look back and learn from mistakes. Social media could be a really helpful tool for future historians to be able to see our culture right now. But if tech bros keep plummeting their sites into the dirt, it's going to be a massive loss for all of humanity. You can argue that the internet isn't that serious, or that books still exist. But how many trans women are able to write books that get published? How many news sites even have physical media these days? I fear for the massive loss of information. Information is very powerful and important, and the more we lose the worse we are for it.
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genderkoolaid · 6 months ago
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hey about that ask and post about how trans lesbians dont have any real in to the community to start figuring out their identies i think your missing a bit of the point because yes trans gay men dont have an automatic connection either and mlm and fandom spaces are pretty bad about 'cishet women' consuming alot of mlm content or relating to mlm ships and characters but while theyre there they are kinda (probably in a harmful way) learning about queer identites at least hearing the words to look up and research on their own but thats a different thing to trans lesbians not even having a space to get that close to queer people if at all without being kept out of conversation about queer identies and so never or much more rarely having space to find out about trans lesbians or given space to relate to wlw or queerness
of course most trans men in either of these spaces are celebrated for coming out unless they find groups of transmen in fandom even but i dont think that makes these experiences all that similar i think we should appreciate these as diffrent experiences without lessing eithers impact
I mean. there are closeted trans lesbians who have an awareness of queer identities through their friends or through online communities from the perspective of an ally. This is not the same as being able to identify oneself with queerness and feeling that you are accepted as an insider in those spaces, but that feeling isn't necessarily handed to closeted gay trans guys being read as heterosexual cis women either. And still, it's not as if there aren't any "straight" "cis" "men" who have queer friends or engage in communities frequently by queer people.
And I feel that having this conversation on Tumblr biases us, seeing as this is The Website for "straight" "cis" "women" who get really into MLM shipping. What about gay trans men who aren't chronically online in that way? Who live their lives as "normal" straight cis women, and whose only exposure to transmasculinity is the vague concept of "butch lesbian becomes masculine straight man"? Outside of Tumblr culture, I do not see gay trans men being given much visibility, with the "ex-lesbian" narrative still having a strong grasp over how most trans men are perceived.
I just feel like this argument is working off a very specific and local-to-Tumblr idea of the experiences of a gay trans man. Like, there are (in my experience), more gay trans men active in Queer Tumblr than gay cis men, and the same is not true for cis lesbians vs trans(fem) lesbians. But if you go to the vast majority of areas, where gay cis men dominate, gay trans men are not always being given space or visibility.
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fozmeadows · 3 months ago
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TERFism really is just white beauty politics in a pseudo-feminist hat, because there's simply no escaping the fact that every concern-trolling argument TERFs make against transition, and particularly towards trans men, boils down to the worst thing you can be is an ugly woman, where "ugly" is code for "insufficiently young, white and/or traditionally feminine."
The ridiculing of trans women, for instance, centers disgust at the idea of anyone with traditionally "masculine" features attempting to pass as female, which - as has been well-documented by this point - frequently sees butch women, women of colour, older women, tall women, strong women, and any other woman who doesn't fit this dogwhistle standard of prettiness caught in the crossfire. Masculinity is incompatible with beauty, this logic goes, and all women must be beautiful. Ergo, the more masculine you appear, the less female you are. TERFs, of course, will try to deny their active participation in anything so ragingly unfeminist as policing women's bodies in pursuit of a narrow physical ideal, and yet, as the recent furor over Imane Khalif has roundly shown, this is exactly what they end up doing: an endless reinvention of new and shittier forms of phrenology to explain why this woman or that is not, in fact, really a woman.
Accepting trans women who don't, by conventional standards, pass, means accepting the femininity of women - both cis and trans - who diverge from these beauty standards: who have facial hair or receding hairlines, deep voices or big hands and feet, who are muscular or tall or strong-jawed, who are either incapable or undesirous of pregnancy, or one of a thousand other things we're told (despite the fact that humans are not a strongly dimorphic species) are exclusively masculine traits. But trans women who do pass engender a different terror: the fear that beauty is not an exclusively "feminine" inheritance, such that someone deemed a man might natively posses it and thereby render "real" feminine beauty somehow less special.
And then we have the scaremongering around trans men, which frequently presents as "concern" over, specifically, impressionable girls and young women being tricked into harming their healthy bodies by the nefarious Trans Cabal. That this same concern is never extended to adult women is the giveaway, because adult women are, by this reckoning, inherently less valuable, being neither as pretty nor as fertile as their younger counterparts. It's already too late to prevent their inevitable descent into the ugliness of ageing, and either they're parents already (in which case, their biological purpose has been served, thus rendering their identities past that point moot) or else have been written off as too old for childbearing anyway (which adds to their irrelevance).
Which makes it all the more ironic how many of the stated negatives of transition for trans men dovetails with things the cis female body normally does as it ages and/or postpartum. Long-term binding is decried for the way it causes the breasts to sag or deform and the nipples to enlarge, for instance, when this is exactly what happens as a consequence of pregnancy and breastfeeding. An increase in facial and body hair is common for post-menopausal women, let alone those with PCOS. Plenty of women naturally have deep voices, with many growing raspier regardless with age, while both ageing and childbirth inevitably alter the appearance of genitalia, sometimes radically. Even top surgery, the procedure most maligned as "butchery," has its cis analogues: not only for survivors of breast cancer or those who, due to genetic predisposition towards aggressive forms of it, opt for preventative mastectomies, but those who undergo breast reduction surgery, whether for cosmetic or health reasons - while some women, on yet a third hand, are natively flat-chested.
Taken together, then, what unifies the demonizing fear of trans women and the infantilizing dismissal of trans men by TERFs is an obsession with a specific, youth-and-Eurocentric-based notion of female beauty, where being deemed too masculine in either direction is the disqualifying factor. In TERFlandia, masculinity therefore becomes a synonym for ugliness: trans women can't shed it sufficiently to be counted at any age (unless they pass, which is a prospect too terrifying to countenance), while trans men must be stopped at all costs from embracing it (unless they're already old, in which case they no longer matter). Which is not to say that transphobia more broadly lacks for other avenues of attack; it's just that concern around trans bodies and the necessity of controlling them inevitably circles back to beauty, youth and fertility as the abiding hallmarks of womanhood, and as soon as you point this out, all the other arguments start to unravel.
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spiderfreedom · 11 months ago
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I honestly owe detrans people, and especially detrans women, so much, because reading about their experiences has taught me a lot about... well, everything? About myself and my own trauma re: femaleness, autism. About the factors that lead people to transition. About resilience and moving forward and making a life for yourself in a world where there's no space for you.
Some of my favorite writings from detrans people:
somenuancepls (Michelle Alava, active on substack) has multiple great posts, especially on resilience and growth for detrans people. I recommend "Actually I was just crazy the whole time" (on the mindset that leads medical transition to be viewed as a panacea), "We Shouldn't Have to Be Here" (on how detrans people are expected to act as martyrs) and "Let's Talk About How We Talk About Detransition" (on how to ethically and compassionately talk about transition and detransition without harming (de)/transitioners).
destroyyourbinder (no longer active) has so many amazing posts that I really can't list them all, but "Unriddling the Sphinx: Autism and the Magnetism of Gender Transition" was genuinely revelatory for me as a gender non-conforming autistic woman. (It also kinda sent me spiraling for a few days so if you are also an autistic gnc, read with caution)
funkypsyche has been writing a lot about 'woke' culture in a way I don't agree with, but "The Archetypal FTM Sensitive, Quirky, Artistic Weird Girls" (on the type of people attracted to transmasc identification and the ways society fails them - do you see also see yourself in this list?) is a good read. As a supplement, there is "The History of Tumblr: Gender and Woke Indoctrination, Video Essay", and if you can get through the parts about, well, 'woke indoctrination', it provides a perspective on tumblr and its relationship to mental illness and gender. You do not realize how much mental illness is normalized and glorified on tumblr until you see someone explaining it from the outside and you go "huh, I did not realize that happens and that I do that, too..."
Max Robinson wrote "Detransition: Beyond, Before, and After", the only academic text on detransition to my knowledge. An in depth view on factors influencing transition such as lesbophobia, and the relationship between gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia and how the latter is treated as frivolous and vain while the former is treated as profound and serious.
And there are a lot of tweets I've collected I can't really link here, there are many detransitioners on Twitter. I really do recommend reading a broad variety of detransitioned people, detrans women and men. Even read people who retrans like CrashChaosChats, who once wrote on detransition but then retransitioned after finding that she was unable to deal with dysphoria. If you actually care about dysphoric people, trans people, and detrans people, you need to read broadly to understand the full range of reasons people transition or detransition or retransition.
Feel free to reblog with your additions of writings by detrans people, or people you follow on Twitter or other social media if they don't have long-form content.
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leidensygdom · 2 years ago
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Continuing my post about why I'm tired of TERFs: Come the fuck on. I spent most of my life back when I thought I was a cis girl being made to feel like shit because I had to get repeated surgeries on my breasts because of a chronic condition. It was other women who told me to reconsider if I wanted to "ruin my tits" and "mutilate myself" and if I couldn't just put up with the unbearable chronic pain it caused.
It was also women who told me I should consider plastic surgery if I ever needed to get a mastectomy, which is something I'll need sooner than later. I was a MINOR when I got told this.
It was ALSO a woman who told me that even if my condition has a 4% chance of turning malignant, I should not get the mastectomy that could reduce that to almost a 0%, because "So many women regret it later".
Now I decide that feminity is not for me, that I'm tired of putting up with it after being told a thousand times about how I'm doing it bad, and now I'm betraying womanhood. I have to hear how they keep talking of any breast surgery as mutilation and "ruining a perfect healthy female body" but I'm the evil one for finding that being non binary suits me better.
All while TERFs repeatedly show they'd rather work with the far right to take everything from trans people, the same groups actively also harm women. They devote their entire existence to harming trans women, who are some of the fiercest fighters for women's rights, and then go silent when pro-lifers fuck up bodily autonomy.
Who in the actual fuck is actually betraying womanhood here?
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