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yandere-daydreams · 1 year

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tw - sex doll au, implied dub/con, unhealthy relationships, possessive behavior, and generally depraved behavior.

You're starting to wonder if you should've gotten a different pair.

You knew what you were getting into when you decided that, of all the androids in Teyvat's stock, you were going to be one of the few brave souls that dared to put two members of the Akademiya Collection that weren't Tighnari and Cyno under the same roof. The salesperson had cringed as you made your selection, your more tech-savvy friends pursed their lips and asked if that was really for the best, and you couldn't mention your specific preferences on any public message board without being berated off the platform entirely. You didn't care, thought. The heart wants what it wants, and apparently, your heart wanted two burnt-out post-grads to rail you into next week.

That's what you told yourself until you got Alhaitham and Kaveh home, at least.

The bickering, you were prepared for. You weren't surprised by the constant passive-aggression, the subtle pokes at Alhaitham's arrogance and Kaveh's bleeding heart, and you managed to stomach it the first time your dreams of a multi-major threesome were dashed because Kaveh mentioned some ancient philosophical principle and Alhaitham couldn't resist the opportunity to correct his wording and you were left bouncing yourself on Alhaitham's cock while he dispassionately flipped through a textbook you haven't opened since you were an under-grad. Minor hiccups, nothing you couldn't forget about when Kaveh buried his face between your thighs or Alhaitham split you open on his fingers while reading your latest research paper aloud, denying you an orgasm for every grammatical error. That part, you wouldn't trade for the world.

The jealousy, though - you could live without that. You've heard that there's supposed to be fail-safes for this kind of thing, measures the developers take to make sure any companion droids can co-exist without tearing each other apart, but their mutual distaste seems strong enough to overwhelm whatever barriers their creators put in place. You've lost count of the number of times there's been a false-alarm in some other part of your apartment while you're on your knees at Alhaitham's feet, how many times Alhaitham's flawless hardware has suddenly 'malfunctioned' while Kaveh has your ankles propped on his shoulders.

Not getting laid, you can deal with, but it's a little hard to be so forgiving when Kaveh spends the better half a day pouting because you took Alhaitham to work and left him at home, when Alhaitham deletes your registered commands from his memory bank because you had the nerve to take Kaveh to a farmer's market that that he'd rather die than step foot in. You've tried to be fair, to divide your time evenly, but they're not happy with that, either. Neither of them would ever say it out loud, but it's clear enough that they both want to be the center of your attention. It'd be cute, if they weren't so spiteful.

The only thing worse than their jealousy is when they put aside their spitefulness, their petty arguments, and decide to agree on the only thing they can ever agree on: that their beloved 'master' should be the one to make up for all those hours of neglect. It's a little like your fantasies, but not quite; your chest pressed against Alhaitham's Kaveh's chin resting on your shoulder, the former inside of you while the latter whispers sweet-nothings against the curve of your throat. It's more violent than anything you ever would've expected from two men so scholarly, more aggressive - teeth buried in your skin, bruises in the shape of their palm painted across your thighs, fingers forcing their way past your lips whenever you so much as consider using your safe-word. You're left strung-out for hours after they're done with you, and Kaveh's free to press himself against your side while Alhaitham tries to pass himself off as the caretaker he so clearly isn't. It's the only time they don't waste their breath on bickering. It's the only time they ever get along.

It's the only time you don't have the strength to focus on anything but your two precious, precious androids.

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0hcicero · 4 months

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So I just started reading A Court of Thorns and Roses (audiobook), and am I the only one who is wondering if the author did any research into poor subsistence living or the lives of peasants? Because wow, I know Feyre’s family used to be rich, but if that was 8 years ago and y’all are poor as dirt now, somehow in the intervening period you might have learned:

- trap lines in the winter are far superior to active hunting. It burns less calories, you can use it with fish and land animals, and it will save you from frostbite bc instead of sitting in a blind for hours, you can go to your lines at certain times and head home, or drive animals toward your lines.

- buying flower seeds - or any garden seeds - is a suckers game when you’re poor. You only really need to buy seeds once!! Once you harvest, you let stuff ‘go to seed’ and then you collect it and store it for the winter, often trading seeds with your neighbours.

- they let things actively RUN OUT before doing anything about it. That’s absolutely buckwild if you’ve ever been poor — when you’re poor, you know how to make a meal stretch, and you DO IT.

- there is hunting, but no gathering?? This family has not stored any veg for winter, but neither do they go gather mushrooms, rosehips, roots, tubers, nuts, or even fucking bark?? What happened to their cottage garden?? Was it just flowers?! Were they that rich that they don’t understand that a garden produces food? Did they close their eyes as they walked past all their peasant neighbours and their gardens? Bc that’s maybe the wildest thing I’ve seen from both a historical and a ‘grew up so close to dirt poor you couldn’t tell the difference’ perspective!

- She left a whole ass Giant wolf carcass when her family is starving. Nah nah nah no that is the universe smiling on you when you’re subsistence! You will make a travois or somehow find a way to tie that to you and drag it along - that’s double the food, and possibly more money, because you could live off the wolf (which I assume does not taste great) and sell off some of the deer (which is delicious).

- she didn’t at least do a basic clean of her kill out in the woods?! She did not tan the hides?! Y’all, you do not want to be cleaning any kill on the kitchen table. Why? Because cleaning involves removing the intestines and stomach. That means shit and piss and food digestion in different stages, and the gases produced. You do that *outside*, typically at least close to where you made your kill, because you don’t want to have to have any…spills, and because it makes things a bit lighter to carry. Butchering? For sure do it on a table, but cleaning is an outdoor chore. Also, tanning a hide is not just skinning a creature! It’s scraping all the membranes off it, stretching and drying it, and curing the skin - sometimes with smoke, but often with a pretty gross solution (often including brain oil, and historically, I believe urine and/or feces, and other things with the right chemical components). It’s not a simple or quick task!

- soups, pottages, stews, with dried lentils, beans, or peas would have been the staple meals (depending on the climate and environment, but it feels fairly British thus far). Just having roasted venison (def not the best way to eat venison just from taste alone) would likely be a very very rare occurrence, because, as noted earlier, they’re so poor they would need to make it stretch. You would cure it or dry it or turn it into sausage. You would use it sparingly within a meal, not to serve as the whole meal.

- the market. If you were poor, you would likely be a stranger to spices, but not to salt. Salt is deeply necessary to survive in that period, as it’s one of the only ways of safely processing and storing meat with any longevity. And? If you got the money that they did while being as poor and as starving as they were? The first thing you would do — even if you were the most stupid rich person before then — is stock up your stores of dry goods! Flour, salt, honey, dried beans/peas/lentils, vegetables that store - onions, squashes, potatoes, root vegetables like carrots. It’s straight up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs here - you will not give a shit about a new cloak before you give a shit about saying your hunger. They are said to be ‘starving’. Sorting out your survival comes before sorting out your fashion.

Anyways, this has been me for channel 4, reporting on anachronisms and misrepresentations in fantasy fiction. More news at 10.

#which is not to say I’m not enjoying the book #though I am glad I got past the poor people stuff #because tell me you’ve never been a peasant without telling me you’ve never been a peasant #I thought a lot of this was common sense but then a lot of people don’t need sense this common I guess #but it’s a fun book so far #acotar #a court of thorns and roses

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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years

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The AI hype bubble is the new crypto hype bubble

Back in 2017 Long Island Ice Tea — known for its undistinguished, barely drinkable sugar-water — changed its name to “Long Blockchain Corp.” Its shares surged to a peak of 400% over their pre-announcement price. The company announced no specific integrations with any kind of blockchain, nor has it made any such integrations since.

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/09/autocomplete-worshippers/#the-real-ai-was-the-corporations-that-we-fought-along-the-way

LBCC was subsequently delisted from NASDAQ after settling with the SEC over fraudulent investor statements. Today, the company trades over the counter and its market cap is $36m, down from $138m.

https://cointelegraph.com/news/textbook-case-of-crypto-hype-how-iced-tea-company-went-blockchain-and-failed-despite-a-289-percent-stock-rise

The most remarkable thing about this incredibly stupid story is that LBCC wasn’t the peak of the blockchain bubble — rather, it was the start of blockchain’s final pump-and-dump. By the standards of 2022’s blockchain grifters, LBCC was small potatoes, a mere $138m sugar-water grift.

They didn’t have any NFTs, no wash trades, no ICO. They didn’t have a Superbowl ad. They didn’t steal billions from mom-and-pop investors while proclaiming themselves to be “Effective Altruists.” They didn’t channel hundreds of millions to election campaigns through straw donations and other forms of campaing finance frauds. They didn’t even open a crypto-themed hamburger restaurant where you couldn’t buy hamburgers with crypto:

https://robbreport.com/food-drink/dining/bored-hungry-restaurant-no-cryptocurrency-1234694556/

They were amateurs. Their attempt to “make fetch happen” only succeeded for a brief instant. By contrast, the superpredators of the crypto bubble were able to make fetch happen over an improbably long timescale, deploying the most powerful reality distortion fields since Pets.com.

Anything that can’t go on forever will eventually stop. We’re told that trillions of dollars’ worth of crypto has been wiped out over the past year, but these losses are nowhere to be seen in the real economy — because the “wealth” that was wiped out by the crypto bubble’s bursting never existed in the first place.

Like any Ponzi scheme, crypto was a way to separate normies from their savings through the pretense that they were “investing” in a vast enterprise — but the only real money (“fiat” in cryptospeak) in the system was the hardscrabble retirement savings of working people, which the bubble’s energetic inflaters swapped for illiquid, worthless shitcoins.

We’ve stopped believing in the illusory billions. Sam Bankman-Fried is under house arrest. But the people who gave him money — and the nimbler Ponzi artists who evaded arrest — are looking for new scams to separate the marks from their money.

Take Morganstanley, who spent 2021 and 2022 hyping cryptocurrency as a massive growth opportunity:

https://cointelegraph.com/news/morgan-stanley-launches-cryptocurrency-research-team

Today, Morganstanley wants you to know that AI is a $6 trillion opportunity.

They’re not alone. The CEOs of Endeavor, Buzzfeed, Microsoft, Spotify, Youtube, Snap, Sports Illustrated, and CAA are all out there, pumping up the AI bubble with every hour that god sends, declaring that the future is AI.

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/business-news/wall-street-ai-stock-price-1235343279/

Google and Bing are locked in an arms-race to see whose search engine can attain the speediest, most profound enshittification via chatbot, replacing links to web-pages with florid paragraphs composed by fully automated, supremely confident liars:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/16/tweedledumber/#easily-spooked

Blockchain was a solution in search of a problem. So is AI. Yes, Buzzfeed will be able to reduce its wage-bill by automating its personality quiz vertical, and Spotify’s “AI DJ” will produce slightly less terrible playlists (at least, to the extent that Spotify doesn’t put its thumb on the scales by inserting tracks into the playlists whose only fitness factor is that someone paid to boost them).

But even if you add all of this up, double it, square it, and add a billion dollar confidence interval, it still doesn’t add up to what Bank Of America analysts called “a defining moment — like the internet in the ’90s.” For one thing, the most exciting part of the “internet in the ‘90s” was that it had incredibly low barriers to entry and wasn’t dominated by large companies — indeed, it had them running scared.

The AI bubble, by contrast, is being inflated by massive incumbents, whose excitement boils down to “This will let the biggest companies get much, much bigger and the rest of you can go fuck yourselves.” Some revolution.

AI has all the hallmarks of a classic pump-and-dump, starting with terminology. AI isn’t “artificial” and it’s not “intelligent.” “Machine learning” doesn’t learn. On this week’s Trashfuture podcast, they made an excellent (and profane and hilarious) case that ChatGPT is best understood as a sophisticated form of autocomplete — not our new robot overlord.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4NHKMZZNKi0w9mOhPYIL4T

We all know that autocomplete is a decidedly mixed blessing. Like all statistical inference tools, autocomplete is profoundly conservative — it wants you to do the same thing tomorrow as you did yesterday (that’s why “sophisticated” ad retargeting ads show you ads for shoes in response to your search for shoes). If the word you type after “hey” is usually “hon” then the next time you type “hey,” autocomplete will be ready to fill in your typical following word — even if this time you want to type “hey stop texting me you freak”:

https://blog.lareviewofbooks.org/provocations/neophobic-conservative-ai-overlords-want-everything-stay/

And when autocomplete encounters a new input — when you try to type something you’ve never typed before — it tries to get you to finish your sentence with the statistically median thing that everyone would type next, on average. Usually that produces something utterly bland, but sometimes the results can be hilarious. Back in 2018, I started to text our babysitter with “hey are you free to sit” only to have Android finish the sentence with “on my face” (not something I’d ever typed!):

https://mashable.com/article/android-predictive-text-sit-on-my-face

Modern autocomplete can produce long passages of text in response to prompts, but it is every bit as unreliable as 2018 Android SMS autocomplete, as Alexander Hanff discovered when ChatGPT informed him that he was dead, even generating a plausible URL for a link to a nonexistent obit in The Guardian:

https://www.theregister.com/2023/03/02/chatgpt_considered_harmful/

Of course, the carnival barkers of the AI pump-and-dump insist that this is all a feature, not a bug. If autocomplete says stupid, wrong things with total confidence, that’s because “AI” is becoming more human, because humans also say stupid, wrong things with total confidence.

Exhibit A is the billionaire AI grifter Sam Altman, CEO if OpenAI — a company whose products are not open, nor are they artificial, nor are they intelligent. Altman celebrated the release of ChatGPT by tweeting “i am a stochastic parrot, and so r u.”

https://twitter.com/sama/status/1599471830255177728

This was a dig at the “stochastic parrots” paper, a comprehensive, measured roundup of criticisms of AI that led Google to fire Timnit Gebru, a respected AI researcher, for having the audacity to point out the Emperor’s New Clothes:

https://www.technologyreview.com/2020/12/04/1013294/google-ai-ethics-research-paper-forced-out-timnit-gebru/

Gebru’s co-author on the Parrots paper was Emily M Bender, a computational linguistics specialist at UW, who is one of the best-informed and most damning critics of AI hype. You can get a good sense of her position from Elizabeth Weil’s New York Magazine profile:

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/ai-artificial-intelligence-chatbots-emily-m-bender.html

Bender has made many important scholarly contributions to her field, but she is also famous for her rules of thumb, which caution her fellow scientists not to get high on their own supply:

Please do not conflate word form and meaning

Mind your own credulity

As Bender says, we’ve made “machines that can mindlessly generate text, but we haven’t learned how to stop imagining the mind behind it.” One potential tonic against this fallacy is to follow an Italian MP’s suggestion and replace “AI” with “SALAMI” (“Systematic Approaches to Learning Algorithms and Machine Inferences”). It’s a lot easier to keep a clear head when someone asks you, “Is this SALAMI intelligent? Can this SALAMI write a novel? Does this SALAMI deserve human rights?”

Bender’s most famous contribution is the “stochastic parrot,” a construct that “just probabilistically spits out words.” AI bros like Altman love the stochastic parrot, and are hellbent on reducing human beings to stochastic parrots, which will allow them to declare that their chatbots have feature-parity with human beings.

At the same time, Altman and Co are strangely afraid of their creations. It’s possible that this is just a shuck: “I have made something so powerful that it could destroy humanity! Luckily, I am a wise steward of this thing, so it’s fine. But boy, it sure is powerful!”

They’ve been playing this game for a long time. People like Elon Musk (an investor in OpenAI, who is hoping to convince the EU Commission and FTC that he can fire all of Twitter’s human moderators and replace them with chatbots without violating EU law or the FTC’s consent decree) keep warning us that AI will destroy us unless we tame it.

There’s a lot of credulous repetition of these claims, and not just by AI’s boosters. AI critics are also prone to engaging in what Lee Vinsel calls criti-hype: criticizing something by repeating its boosters’ claims without interrogating them to see if they’re true:

https://sts-news.medium.com/youre-doing-it-wrong-notes-on-criticism-and-technology-hype-18b08b4307e5

There are better ways to respond to Elon Musk warning us that AIs will emulsify the planet and use human beings for food than to shout, “Look at how irresponsible this wizard is being! He made a Frankenstein’s Monster that will kill us all!” Like, we could point out that of all the things Elon Musk is profoundly wrong about, he is most wrong about the philosophical meaning of Wachowksi movies:

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/may/18/lilly-wachowski-ivana-trump-elon-musk-twitter-red-pill-the-matrix-tweets

But even if we take the bros at their word when they proclaim themselves to be terrified of “existential risk” from AI, we can find better explanations by seeking out other phenomena that might be triggering their dread. As Charlie Stross points out, corporations are Slow AIs, autonomous artificial lifeforms that consistently do the wrong thing even when the people who nominally run them try to steer them in better directions:

https://media.ccc.de/v/34c3-9270-dude_you_broke_the_future

Imagine the existential horror of a ultra-rich manbaby who nominally leads a company, but can’t get it to follow: “everyone thinks I’m in charge, but I’m actually being driven by the Slow AI, serving as its sock puppet on some days, its golem on others.”

Ted Chiang nailed this back in 2017 (the same year of the Long Island Blockchain Company):

There’s a saying, popularized by Fredric Jameson, that it’s easier to imagine the end of the world than to imagine the end of capitalism. It’s no surprise that Silicon Valley capitalists don’t want to think about capitalism ending. What’s unexpected is that the way they envision the world ending is through a form of unchecked capitalism, disguised as a superintelligent AI. They have unconsciously created a devil in their own image, a boogeyman whose excesses are precisely their own.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/tedchiang/the-real-danger-to-civilization-isnt-ai-its-runaway

Chiang is still writing some of the best critical work on “AI.” His February article in the New Yorker, “ChatGPT Is a Blurry JPEG of the Web,” was an instant classic:

[AI] hallucinations are compression artifacts, but — like the incorrect labels generated by the Xerox photocopier — they are plausible enough that identifying them requires comparing them against the originals, which in this case means either the Web or our own knowledge of the world.

https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/chatgpt-is-a-blurry-jpeg-of-the-web

“AI” is practically purpose-built for inflating another hype-bubble, excelling as it does at producing party-tricks — plausible essays, weird images, voice impersonations. But as Princeton’s Matthew Salganik writes, there’s a world of difference between “cool” and “tool”:

https://freedom-to-tinker.com/2023/03/08/can-chatgpt-and-its-successors-go-from-cool-to-tool/

Nature can claim “conversational AI is a game-changer for science” but “there is a huge gap between writing funny instructions for removing food from home electronics and doing scientific research.” Salganik tried to get ChatGPT to help him with the most banal of scholarly tasks — aiding him in peer reviewing a colleague’s paper. The result? “ChatGPT didn’t help me do peer review at all; not one little bit.”

The criti-hype isn’t limited to ChatGPT, of course — there’s plenty of (justifiable) concern about image and voice generators and their impact on creative labor markets, but that concern is often expressed in ways that amplify the self-serving claims of the companies hoping to inflate the hype machine.

One of the best critical responses to the question of image- and voice-generators comes from Kirby Ferguson, whose final Everything Is a Remix video is a superb, visually stunning, brilliantly argued critique of these systems:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rswxcDyotXA

One area where Ferguson shines is in thinking through the copyright question — is there any right to decide who can study the art you make? Except in some edge cases, these systems don’t store copies of the images they analyze, nor do they reproduce them:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/09/ai-monkeys-paw/#bullied-schoolkids

For creators, the important material question raised by these systems is economic, not creative: will our bosses use them to erode our wages? That is a very important question, and as far as our bosses are concerned, the answer is a resounding yes.

Markets value automation primarily because automation allows capitalists to pay workers less. The textile factory owners who purchased automatic looms weren’t interested in giving their workers raises and shorting working days. ‘ They wanted to fire their skilled workers and replace them with small children kidnapped out of orphanages and indentured for a decade, starved and beaten and forced to work, even after they were mangled by the machines. Fun fact: Oliver Twist was based on the bestselling memoir of Robert Blincoe, a child who survived his decade of forced labor:

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/59127/59127-h/59127-h.htm

Today, voice actors sitting down to record for games companies are forced to begin each session with “My name is ______ and I hereby grant irrevocable permission to train an AI with my voice and use it any way you see fit.”

https://www.vice.com/en/article/5d37za/voice-actors-sign-away-rights-to-artificial-intelligence

Let’s be clear here: there is — at present — no firmly established copyright over voiceprints. The “right” that voice actors are signing away as a non-negotiable condition of doing their jobs for giant, powerful monopolists doesn’t even exist. When a corporation makes a worker surrender this right, they are betting that this right will be created later in the name of “artists’ rights” — and that they will then be able to harvest this right and use it to fire the artists who fought so hard for it.

There are other approaches to this. We could support the US Copyright Office’s position that machine-generated works are not works of human creative authorship and are thus not eligible for copyright — so if corporations wanted to control their products, they’d have to hire humans to make them:

https://www.theverge.com/2022/2/21/22944335/us-copyright-office-reject-ai-generated-art-recent-entrance-to-paradise

Or we could create collective rights that belong to all artists and can’t be signed away to a corporation. That’s how the right to record other musicians’ songs work — and it’s why Taylor Swift was able to re-record the masters that were sold out from under her by evil private-equity bros::

https://doctorow.medium.com/united-we-stand-61e16ec707e2

Whatever we do as creative workers and as humans entitled to a decent life, we can’t afford drink the Blockchain Iced Tea. That means that we have to be technically competent, to understand how the stochastic parrot works, and to make sure our criticism doesn’t just repeat the marketing copy of the latest pump-and-dump.

Today (Mar 9), you can catch me in person in Austin at the UT School of Design and Creative Technologies, and remotely at U Manitoba’s Ethics of Emerging Tech Lecture.

Tomorrow (Mar 10), Rebecca Giblin and I kick off the SXSW reading series.

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[Image ID: A graph depicting the Gartner hype cycle. A pair of HAL 9000's glowing red eyes are chasing each other down the slope from the Peak of Inflated Expectations to join another one that is at rest in the Trough of Disillusionment. It, in turn, sits atop a vast cairn of HAL 9000 eyes that are piled in a rough pyramid that extends below the graph to a distance of several times its height.]

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sachiko1309 · 6 months

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I belong to you

Summary: After Aubrey had dealt with her past and finally freed herself from her abusive father, Carlisle made sure to spoil her rotten, buying her a whole island in her name. A new beginning for the couple celebrated with inaugurating their new bed...

This is a part of a story I write on Wattpad (its also finished), as I am conviced this man needs more attention. Its called "Save Haven". Feel free to hop over, my account name is in my description. 🥰

Word count: 3457

Warnings: smut, daddy kink, dirty talk (a lot of it), rough, Dom Carlisle, sub reader, Minors DNI! this contains adult content!

He walked us through the house, but I was way to occupied with him and my feelings than to look thoroughly. There would be time a different day. When he stopped walking, he slowly set me down on the floor. I let go of him, watching his face through my tearstained lashes, a smile spreading over my lips. “Not to sound like I am not appreciating your gift, but why?” I asked, my voice still shaky from the crying. Carlisle shrugged his shoulders: “I wanted to make you happy.”

“You don’t need to throw away that much money, to make me happy.” I scolded him. “This is way too much. I cant take that gift. Its… how am I ever supposed to make it up to you?”

“Its not enough.” Carlisle held his ground. “You are here with me. Spending your time with me. You even considered giving up your mortality to stay with me. That’s more than I could have ever dreamed to have, more than I am even entitled to asked for. And still, I have it. This is nothing compared to the things you already gave me.”

“Its expensive! And I want to stay with you, because I love you, not because of your money. How are you even able to afford all of this? I mean, I know you are rich, but that’s clearly another level of rich.” I tried to argue, searching for reasons to talk some sense into him. But my statement seemed to do nothing more than make him laugh: “And I am very grateful that you choose me because of who I am and not what I am.” He said giving my forehead a kiss. “This is not expensive at all. Do you even know how rich I am? I have been working as a doctor for over 200 years. In the beginning I worked in two hospitals one dayshift one nightshift. There is a lot of money that starts to collect itself. More than I could ever spend. And after Alice joined us, trading on the stock market became another source of income. So please let me spoil you. It’s the least I can do.”

I just huffed, trying to retort something, but he just put a finger on my lips. “No arguing anymore. Remember what I told you on our first date?”

“That you are old school?” I asked, raising a brow in confusion.

“Exactly. And what did Bella suggest if the towns gossip would push you out of your work?” He kept on asking without giving me an explanation.

“To become your sugar babe? That was a joke, Carlisle. You cant just…” I was again interrupted. “I can and I will. I am going to be your very old school, very rich and good looking sugar daddy.” With that he simply pressed his lips against mine, ridding me of every chance of arguing back.

“God, how I missed doing that all day.” He mumbled into my hair and I instantly relaxed against his chest, taking in his masculine scent of books and smoke.

Carlisle immediately picked me up again and pressed me against the wall. Out of reflex, I wrapped my legs around his waist, holding onto his shoulders. He narrowed his eyes, as desire slowly pushed itself to the front. I swallowed and looked up at him, at those beautiful golden eyes that had grown dark with need. When I ran my tongue over my lips, I heard him groan. "And?" I asked, his strong reaction towards my lust making me cocky, heat pooling in my stomach. "What else did you miss?"

He dipped his head, his lips just above my collar bone. "You." He whispered. Cold breaths fanning over my skin made me close my eyes and whimper out in lust, goosebumps rising all over my skin. "I want you." He repeated, his voice a low growl against my skin.

I swallowed hard, as he pressed up against me, the feeling of his hard cock straining against his pants making my breathing go rigid. His hands let go of my waist; his lips skimming up to my ear. A sound rose from the back of my throat, something that felt like a purr. Warmth and desire washed over me again, and I grabbed onto Carlisle collar, saying: “Please, daddy.”

He pulled back, his jaw clenched, his eyes burning with passion. After the next inhale, his lips crushed onto mine. I was pulled into a darkened tunnel of desire. His kisses were deep, drugging me senseless. His tongue, all cold and icy, luscious, and sinful, licked and probed its way into the warmth of my mouth. Whimpering helplessly, I looped my arms around his neck. My body already throbbing and aching, arousal pooling between my thighs, and he had just started kissing me.

There was no need to be hurried. His mouth devoured mine, leaving me breathless, and him oblivious to me working frantically on his clothes. “Slowly, little girl.” He groaned when he felt his vest coming undone. “Slowly.”

Carlisle grabbed my wrists to stop me. “Slowly.” He pulled away just enough, his mouth barely hovering over my lips. “Let’s make tonight count, hmmm?” His eyes had grown dark and dangerous. “How…” I started, but his cold breath fanning over my skin made reel up in need. He was able to make me go weak in the knees just by the way he touched me, and he knew it. “How slow are we talking about?” I was finally able to press out.

“Very slow.” He whispered before dragging my face in for a kiss. “So slow…” He savored the lusciousness of his words. “…that by the time I’m done with you, you won't have an ounce of strength left in that beautiful body of yours.” He wore a wicked grin on his face, walking us over to the sofa in front of the fireplace that was set on the light stone wall across the bed. He gently laid me down, hovering over me before pressing a searing kiss to my cheek, just as gentle as when he laid me down.

“I’m gonna eat your pretty little pussy, kitty.” He gingerly kissed me, fiddling with the strings of my dress. I was stunned at his sudden change in demeanor. Normally he was very careful of the others hearing our interactions. But it seemed the more time we spent together, the bolder he got. Finally, able to loosen my dress enough, he shuffled it up my body, pulling it over my head.

“Fuck.” he breathed. “Feels like you’re trying to kill me already, love.” Keeping his place between my legs, his arms trailed up my chest, playing with my tits. “So fucking gorgeous…” Placing my hands on his wrists, encouraging him to continue, I sighed “Daddy…” Head thrown back. I could swear his eyes darkened by four shades, swallowing his pretty golden hues into the abyss of his lust.

Moving from his place between my legs to help me remove my underwear in one swift motion, quickly getting right back to business as soon as he was able to. Once he was settled back between my thighs again, I could feel his hands gripping them tightly. “Such a pretty pussy you’ve got here, little one.” His face was so close to my center, his breath fanned against my skin with every word he said. “Can’t believe you’ve kept it from me for so long.” Littering my thighs with kiss after kiss, each time getting closer to my core.

“I haven’t.” I breathed out, my voice audibly shaking at his actions. He just tutted at my words. “I had to wait nearly 400 years for you to step into my life. Only to then see you being abused by another man. Forcing me to sneak around everyone’s back, only to be with you.”

My hands made their way to his hair, gently grasping his hair and tugging to emphasize my need for him. “Please, Carlisle…”

“Please what, little kitty?” He mocked coyly.

“You know what.” My hips began to rise from the sofa, searching for some relief.

“Uh uh.” He moved his head further from where I wanted it the most. “I wanna hear you say it for me.”

“I… can you… I want you to eat me out, please?” Squeezing my eyes shut, not being able to look at him, as he finally connected his lips with my center. “Oh my GOD!” His tongue traced my clit lightly, barely giving much stimulation, but even that was enough to make my legs starting to quiver.

While his tongue tracing my clit felt absolutely amazing, nothing prepared me for feeling his tongue tracing along my soaked slit, before delicately prodding inside of me. “Fuck!” I shrieked out, his tongue trailing back to my clit before I felt his finger slowly enter my pussy. He raised his mouth from my center, looking me straight into my eyes. “For Gods sake, how I love this.” His voice was nearly a growl. “That sweet pussy of yours hooked me the moment I had my first taste. And by all what is mighty, I will never stop worshipping it.” I couldn’t help myself but mewl at his words. The way he praised me in his old-fashioned way of speaking turning my bones to water.

He was passionate about pleasing me, humming at my skin. Making sure to wait for me to relax, welcoming the pleasure rather than being surprised by it, before he slowly started to thrust the single digit in and out of my core. I tossed my head back against the pillows at the feeling of his long fingers reaching parts of me that I could never reach myself.

“Fuck!” His finger found the perfect spot inside of me, curling to massage it gently and bringing me closer to the edge. My pussy pulsating in rhythm with his thrusts, the wet and messy sounds of my pleasure filling the room. I felt him moan, even more as he brought his free hand up my chest, pinching and pulling my nipple before switching to the neglected breast, simultaneously adding a second finger.

I cried out for him. “I’m so close, please don’t stop! Please don’t stop!” My back began to arch off the sofa, as his ministrations went on, his fingers pounding into my pussy as his lips continued to suck eagerly at my clit. “Oh my…” I rasped, my voice hoarse and thin. “Daddy!” I yelled, as my orgasm washed over me all the sudden. Riding it out, as he refused to cease his actions on my body until I couldn’t take any more and ha to pull him away.

“I need you.” I said timidly, my gaze on the floor. “I need you inside of me.” But the way he looked at me with those dark eyes and predatory look, made me feel brave and…sexy. Carlisle let out a shaky breath, his hands gripping my hips tightly. I slipped my hand underneath his clothes, gently shoving the fabric down his shoulders. He got the hint, getting up from his knees and undressing himself, making a show for me to watch. His fair skin, scattered with scars from the many fights he had been in, giving his soft appearance a slight hint of roughness, that had me reeling in desire.

"You sound so needy.” He growled, watching me intently as I laid there, spreading my legs for him. "I love it when you are all desperate and riled up for me." He shook his head, a cocky grin appearing on his lips. And I whined at his words. "You are such a slut." He grinned, grabbing me by my neck and pulling me across the sofa to have more space to settle between my legs. But he didn’t. Standing next to me, he looked down with a smirk.

"Do you know what that dress did to me all day?" He asked, his voice a tad gentler. "I should have fucked you when you came down the stairs." A hot shiver ran down my spine and fluttered inside my core. "I would have fucked my cum so deep inside you, until you are a crying mess for everyone to hear. And then I would have had you walk back down. Nothing more than a ripped dress covering you, barely doing anything to keep your modesty, all while my cum runs down your thigh."

I winced at his word, closing my legs in embarrassment. Did he really mean that? "Carlisle…" I started, "…that’s…" I was cut off with a loud moan pushing through my lips as he inserted two fingers. His fingers curled once more, and with it, my toes. "This pussy belongs to me." He pumped his fingers inside of me, slowly crawling on top of me. "Your pussy belongs to me. And I will have it whenever I want it."

Without a warning, his fingers abandoned my needy core, his cock taking their place. The thickness stretching me out, as the head of his penis pressed against my puffy walls. He pulled out quickly, then bottomed out once more. His hands gripped my hips in a bruising hold, his thrusts just as rough. I cried out each time he filled me up. It was too much, but not enough at the same time. He had never fucked me like this before, without preparing me with his fingers thoroughly, but I relished in it. Relished in the way his balls slapped against me with a wet snap. Relished in the way he made a mess of me; my wetness being smeared around between us.

"I belong to you." I whimpered, back arching and hands gripping his biceps, as my nails failed to dig into his skin. Carlisles thrusts faltered and he finally looked at me. He pulled me flush to his chest, my bare breasts against him. Gripping my chin and looking deep into my eyes. "Say it again."

"I'm yours, Daddy. Forever." I repeated, my voice slightly muffled by his fingers gripping my chin hard. Picking up his pace again, he let go of my face, grabbing both of my hands and burying them beneath his fingers.

Like a ravenous predator, his eyes meet mine. A pleasure visible inside of them, that was beyond my wildest dreams, the high I so desperately yearned for just a tad too far to reach. “Please.” I whimpered, finally completely pushed over the edge and into submission. His previously slow pace got replaced by a more moderate one that had me gasping for air. The searing heat returning, yet this time it was more than welcomed, much like his cock, leaving not a spot untouched in its way.

“Daddy…” I whispered, not able to do much more than moan or plead his name. My head hung back, lips parted and back arching as I gave myself into his hands. Soon my moans were accompanied by his groans, showing how much this affected him as well. It was the sound of his voice, growling my name followed by a string of curses, that dragged me towards my release in fast steps.

“Carlisle, please…” I breathed out, loud enough to catch his attention. “More…” Arching my back, to press myself against his chest, unable to fight his strong hold that held me in place as he pounded into me mercilessly. “M-More, please” I rasped.

His response was letting go of one hand and grabbing ahold of my hips, as he kept on driving himself in as deep as possible, knocking the air straight out of my lungs, leaving me clutching onto his shoulder and hand. “It’s as if you are trying to send me over the edge just by looking at me.” His voice was low, unsteady. A mere shadow of its usual self. “My pretty little girl, so eager to be ruined.” I was unable to even process his words. All I could sense was him, so I shrieked, when he let go of me and roughly manhandled my legs upwards.

With knees now brought to my chest, I could do nothing but claw at the pillows, as his strong hold kept me in place. The feeling of his cock more prominent than ever, as blind spots were slowly taking over my vision.

“Carlisle!” I yelped, but my train of thought got interrupted by another thrust.

“This is what you requested, is it not?” He growled. A mewl ripped from my throat, a series of pants and gasps filling the room before my jaw was in his grasp once more; forcing my gaze upon him. “It is what you begged me for. To give you more, is it not?” He repeated.

Not being able to do much more than gape, I parted my lips, staring into golden hues now wild and firm, boring into my soul. Even though I stared at him, I could not focus on anything, all my attention on the snapping of his hips, the feeling of his tip touching that one bundle of nerves that made me cry out in desperation. “Th-There - There!”

My words were jumbled and slurred; my brain drunk from the bliss overtaking my body one tidal wave after another. I bucked my hips, frantic for that sensation to grow stronger. “Here?’’ He drove into my core again, prompting my eyes to fall back into my head. The only word I was able to say being his name and hushed pleads, interrupted by countless gasps, and mewls.

A familiar feeling started to rise within the pit of my stomach, sending all my senses into overload. It was blistering, devastating, and I was unsure how much longer I could hold on. With Carlisles fingers now capturing my clit between his thumb and forefinger, combined with the icy heat of his kisses on my neck and shoulder, it was beyond what I could have ever asked for.

Searing, hot, like a rapid, undying fire my body started burning. With eyes barely opening I tried to warn him, yet my core did it for me. Walls clamping down, earning a curse from him, as fresh marks now stained the skin of my hips.

“C-Can’t - I can’t.” I cried out, but he cut me off with his lips, dragging me into a kiss full of passion. Hunger, vigor, intense and demanding, that’s what crossed my mind as he kissed me. “Come, my love.” His voice almost drowning in the hurdled cry that left my mouth after he parted from the kiss. “Come for me.”

It was all I needed to hear, to finally shatter around him. My vision turning blurry, as a violent jerk overtook my body, all the nerves tensed and contracted in pure bliss. It was blinding and fierce, and in a fervid moment, I arched my back, finally releasing the blistering heat inside of my body with a cry of his name. Surely heard by everyone in this house.

Trembling, that was all I could do. My frame hit the sheets, head spinning, as I was gasping for air. And I barely even noticed Carlisle being brought to his own release a shuddering growl of my name falling from his lips. The once fervent snaps melting into nothing but a few bucks until he steadily came to a stop.

Once more, my swollen lips were captured by his own, slower, gentler this time, but still as passionate as ever. Unable to come up with much resistance, I merely hummed and leaned into him; sighing as his length retreated from my core, leaving behind an empty feeling.

It took a moment for him to gather his composure, but soon he got up, he was making a run for the bathroom to get a towel to clean me up. At least that’s what I assumed; my head still too fogged up to really comprehend anything beyond the tingly feeling inside my body. Within seconds, he was back, kissing every part of my body he could reach while cleaning me up. “Rest.” It was a quiet whisper. “You did so well, little one.” He sighed, pressing a peck to my mouth. “But for now, rest.”

I could feel him picking me up and carrying me through the room. The next thing I noticed was being sat down on a soft surface. But when he let go of me, I cried out for him. Immediately his cold hands were back on my body. “Shh, my love. Its alright. Sleep now. I am here.” Closing my eyes, I registered him climbing into the bed as well. Cuddling into his side, I fell asleep, his arms holding me securely in a cold embrace.

#fem reader #smut #carlisle x reader #carlisle cullen smut #carlisle cullen #twilight

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fredwkong · 1 year

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Genie: Pete’s Wishes

Pete was a little 20-year-old nerd who had just started interning for a big securities firm. He didn’t top 5’4”, even the extra-small button-up shirts looked baggy on his skinny body, and he seemed even smaller because of his habitual slouching posture. At his first day at work, his new boss yelled at him, causing him to have a panic attack in the bathroom.

That evening, he walked by a thrift store and decided to go in. He wasn’t making much money as an intern, but he wanted to buy something small to cheer himself up. He spotted a traditional brass lamp on the shelf, the kind that genies sometimes come out of. At $20, it was a bit pricey for a thrift store, but Pete grabbed it anyway. It would make a cool conversation piece, if nothing else.

Once he got home, Pete started trying to clean the lamp, which caused it to begin glowing and convulsing until a cloud of smoke billowed out. As the smoke dissipated, it revealed an absolute muscle man of a genie. He wore tiny daisy dukes on his striated thighs, along with a top cropped just above his big, dark nipples. The genie stroked his finely cropped beard as he looked down at Pete.

“So, babe, here’s the deal,” said the genie. “You make the wishes, and I’ll turn them up to eleven.” He looked over Pete’s tiny body and cringing posture again, and curled his lip. “And girl, let’s make those wishes count. We have a lot of work to do here.”

“Um, uh.” The only thing in Pete’s head was the moment earlier that day when his boss had yelled at him. “I… wish I was more assertive?”

The genie smirked. “Good idea.” With a snap of his fingers, the genie filled the room with purple smoke. As Pete inhaled it, he felt like it shot right up into his brain, filling in spaces he hadn’t known were there. He suddenly realised that the way to get ahead in life was to be decisive and commanding. His posture uncurled, and his gaze became sharper. No one was ever going to overlook him or yell at him again.

The smoke also embedded itself in his throat, and he coughed, letting out a much deeper, more resonant sound than he had been capable of before. He now had a thunderous bass voice, a sound that was impossible for anyone to ignore.

Pete met the genie’s eyes for the first time. “Thanks,” he thundered, his new voice incapable of whispering.

The genie gave him an ironic salute. “Come back tomorrow for another wish, babe.”

The next day, no one was able to ignore Pete. He walked with power in spite of his tiny body, and nobody could ignore him when he spoke up to his boss in a meeting in his booming new voice. However, with his tiny stature and ill-fitting suit, they laughed off his advice. When he got home, Pete summoned the genie again, filled with righteous rage.

“Genie,” he roared, “I wish I had the cash to really show up my coworkers.”

“On it, babe,” said the genie, and snapped his fingers. It seemed for an instant as if nothing had changed. Then Pete got a notification on his phone. “You should check that.”

Pete had received an email from someone who said they were his secretary, informing him that his company had closed a deal to trade stocks for a multibillionaire client. Pete was a high-powered stockbroker. As he saw the number of zeroes on his contract, he felt another rush of knowledge into his mind. He knew exactly how to play the market, buying and selling to make sure that he and his clients ended every day with more money than they started with. He wrote a terse reply to his secretary:

“Understood. See you tomorrow. Peters.”

For a moment, he wondered why he had written that name. His name was… Peters, of course. Just like the exclusive boarding school where he’d first started day trading, he still preferred to go by his surname, but kept it casual by dropping any honourific.

“Enjoy those millions, darling,” said the genie, vanishing back into his lamp.

The next day was an exhausting one for Peters. He had the money, he was the boss, and he had an assertive attitude and booming voice, but he was still a shrimpy kid in his early 20s. Clients raised their eyebrows when a short young guy walked into the boardroom to present, and the secretaries, most of whom were older than him, seemed to resent Peters’ success and advantages.

When he summoned the genie, Peters was ready with the wish he had been thinking about all day. “I wish I was truly impressive.”

The genie grinned wide. “Absolutely, master,” he said, and snapped his fingers again. Another thick cloud of purple smoke emerged from the lamp, and this time it cocooned Peters’ entire body. He felt his clothes dissolve, leaving him naked. As he inhaled the smoke, Peters felt years of experience fill his mind. His already deep and assertive voice dropped a few more steps, gaining an imposing rasp.

As the smoke sank into Peters’ skin, he transformed. His black hair went grey, styling itself into a precise, stylish look. His face aged until he looked like a handsome man in his late 40s, with piercing eyes and a stylish grey beard. His whole body filled out as his height shot past 6 feet, bulked up with perfectly maintained muscle. His little cock thickened and lengthened as his pubes lightened to grey, becoming an impressive third leg with churning balls to match. Finally, the last of the smoke coalesced into a scattering of grey hair over his chest, back, and legs, and an immaculate blue suit.

Mr. Peters, the 49-year-old stockbroker, nodded to the genie. “Good work,” he rumbled, testing out the sound of his new, even more thunderous voice.

“Oh, I’m not done yet, master,” the genie purred, and clapped. The hotel room Mr. Peters had moved to with his newfound millions the previous night was immediately replaced with a huge, well-appointed penthouse. Instinctively, Mr. Peters moved to the humidor he kept next to the genie’s lamp. He expertly trimmed and lit a cigar, enjoying the luxurious flavour.

The genie looked him and the penthouse over one more time, and nodded. “See you tomorrow, sir,” he cooed, and blew a kiss to Mr. Peters as he vanished.

The next day, Mr. Peters was on fire. He closed several deals for his company, making himself and his clients even more money, and got taken out for dinner by the director of a competing corporation attempting to headhunt him. The power got him hard, and he was pent-up with a raging boner by the time he got home to make his wish.

“I don’t have time for any dating,” he told the genie brusquely. “I wish for a husband to fuck right now.”

“Order up,” the genie said, laughing, and snapped his fingers.

On the street outside, Larsen was looking for his friend Pete. They had been good school friends, both being little nerds, but Pete had suddenly stopped answering his messages a few days ago, and then seemed to have been scrubbed from existence. No one else remembered him, and people kept mentioning someone named Mr. Peters instead!

Just as Larsen was about to ask one of the building’s valet parking attendants if she knew a Pete living at this address, he felt a tug, as if someone had grabbed him around his belly, and he was suddenly in a dimly lit room. Outside the window was an exquisite view of the city, while inside of the room was a stern-looking man in a suit alongside a dark-skinned man dressed like a slutty himbo.

As the genie continued his work, Larsen became surrounded by a cloud of pink smoke. His muscles grew, his skin became porcelain smooth, and everything about him became classically handsome, like a perfect statue of a man. He grew to a respectable height, still shorter than Mr. Peters, and his dick swelled up, but not quite as large either. Instead, his ass grew into a pair of fuckable, jiggly globes that would be visible no matter what he wore.

The last of the pink smoke shot up Larsen’s nose and into his brain, rewiring him into a dumb himbo slut. Lars had been a German model until Mr. Peters had approached him after a show and offered to give him a luxurious life as his arm candy husband. They had a good enough relationship, and Mr. Peters—Sir—was a good, dominant Daddy, which Lars liked. What made their marriage really special, though, was that while Sir was at work, Lars went and picked up boys for the two of them to share. It was the only way he could get enough fucking during the day to keep up with his unbelievable sex drive.

“Guten Abend, Daddy,” Lars said, as the genie released him. “The boys are waiting in the second bedroom for us.” He stepped up in front of Mr. Peters and undid his tie and top button before Mr. Peters grabbed him by the back of his head and kissed him forcefully. A moment later, Lars led Mr. Peters out of the room and to the designated sex den, his bared dick leading the way.

The genie watched them leave. If he stayed any longer, the former Pete was likely to ask for something boring and unsexy like world domination, so it was probably time for him to put his lamp in the gym bag of one of the horny himbos Lars and Mr. Peters were fucking.

Idea with assistance from a bot of my creation.

Click here to see the genie’s next master.

Click here to see all the genie’s adventures.

#male transformation #wish #genie #muscle tf #reality change #daddy tf #daddification #himbofication #age progression #genie of the lamp #male tf #all fwkong

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monicascot · 1 year

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youtube

How to Day Trade Futures l From Zero - STOP OUT - $3050

Thank you for watching my video How to Day Trade Futures l From Zero - STOP OUT - $3050 How to Day Trade Futures is clearly something that intrigues you and a lot of people. ➟ Day trading strategies ➟Futures trading strategies for beginners ➟ES futures trading

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adobe-outdesign · 3 months

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Earning NP in 2024: A Quick-Start Guide for New and Old Users

I feel like there’s a lot of people that struggle with making NP nowadays, both due to shifts in what is/isn’t profitable and a lack of clear direction for new players, so I thought I’d put this together to see if it helps anyone. (This was originally written for Reddit, but I figured people over here might find it useful as well.)

IMPORTANT: This guide just tells you what to do, not how things work. I’d recommend looking up more in-depth resources if you would like to understand the specific mechanics.

Also, please note that this guide is just what I’ve found most effective. Feel free to sound off in the comments if you want to add something you think is useful.

Part 1: The Big 8

The Big 8 are the dailies that I’ve found to be incredibly profitable; just doing these each day will earn you tens of millions of NP over a few months, and they’re pretty fast to complete. If you don’t do anything else, do these.

Bank Interest

Click the “collect interest” button.

Always collect your interest before you do anything else—remember, you can’t collect after depositing or withdrawing NP.

Note: Upgrade your account type (at the bottom of the bank page) as you save. This permanently increases your interest rate.

The interest rate does NOT go back down if you dip below the required amount after upgrading.

Shop Till

Technically this is just collecting the money from items you’ve sold, but if you follow this guide you’ll likely have a tidy sum to collect each day :)

The one is listed second because you can jump straight from here to Trudy’s, as the till’s old layout will make the Trudy’s notification appear if it hasn’t already.

Trudy’s Surprise

Click the “play” button.

Do this each day for 25 days to collect a 100K prize.

Note: Trudy’s also gives out Basic Gift Boxes, which are useful for NC trading.

Quest Log

First, check your weekly prize. To do this, click on the slider button to switch from your daily prize to your weekly one. Check the price of the prize.

If you like your weekly prize:

Complete all of your daily quests.

When all daily quests are complete, click on the NP bag to collect your 20K reward.

HIT REFRESH WHEN DONE. The clock at the top-right corner will disappear. This has to be done or the completion may not take.

Repeat for the week, then click on your prize at the end of the week to claim it.

If you do not like your weekly prize and want to change it:

Complete 4/5 of your daily quests (whichever ones are most profitable)

For the last quest, click the red “skip quest” button and confirm.

REFRESH THE PAGE. Once again, this is important.

The next day you should have a new prize. Continue skipping a quest per day until you get an item you like.

If you want to reset your weekly prize but already completed some days:

Follow the steps above. When you return the next day, your progress will be reset but your weekly prize will be the same.

Follow the steps above one more time. When you return the next day, you should have a new weekly prize.

Stock Market

To buy shares:

Go to the bargains page above.

Look in the right-hand column titled “curr” and find a stock with the number 15 (the cheapest you can buy shares at).

Copy the four-letter ticker symbol in the left-hand column labeled “ticker”.

Click on the “buy” link above and enter paste the ticker symbol into the first box, then enter “1000” into the second box (this is the max amount of shares you can buy per day). This will cost you 15K NP.

Repeat daily. Remember to diversify your portfolio (which is a fancy way of saying buy shares for different companies to increase your odds of getting a payout).

After you have bought a stock, go to the “my portfolio” page and look in the “current price” column.

If the number there is greater than 15, you have made a profit.

It is up to you to decide when to sell the stock. Waiting until 40–60 is average, but you can decide your own preferences here.

DO NOT ever sell a stock under 15. The stock market no longer crashes, so a stock that drops down has no choice but to eventually bounce back up.

Note: The stock market is a long-term investment. You may need to wait long periods of time before seeing a profit depending on how often you sell.

Food Club

Unlike other dailies, Food Club rolls over at 2:15 p.m. NST.

At 5:00 p.m. NST, a few Food Club board will automatically go up on this subreddit.

Click on the board and pick a betting table you like from the comments. I highly recommend u/nsheng’s standard or aggressive sets.

Once you have your table, submit your bets. To do this:

Click on “place a bet”.

Start with row 1 of your chosen betting table. On the “place a bet” page, select one pirate from each drop-down menu, then click the far-left checkbox for each.

Enter your betting amount. Your max bet is listed on the “place a bet” page, or you can enter a different amount. MAKE SURE THE AMOUNT IS THE SAME FOR EACH BET.

Hit “place this bet!”. Repeat this process ten times for all ten rows of your chosen betting table.

At 2:15 the next day, click “collect your winnings”, then go back to the “place a bet” page and enter that day’s 10 bets once the betting tables are posted on Reddit.

Note 1: How much you can bet (and by extension, make) depends on your account age, so this may be less useful to new players. It’s free passive NP either way however.

Note 2: There will be days you experience losses with Food Club. On average you will make back much more than what you invest as long as you stick with it, but with that said, make sure you’re only betting amounts you feel comfortable losing.

Battledome

The Battledome is unique in that you have to put some time and money into it to get something out of it, but the rewards are usually pretty high (making 100K+ a day isn’t uncommon).

To get started, you will need to train your pet and get them some weapons.

For training, follow the steps at the bottom of Battlepedia’s “Beginners’ Guide to Training” here.

For weapons, pick a beginner’s set from Battlepedia’s “Beginners’ Weapon Recommendations” here.

Once you have a basic weapon set and some beginner training, you’ll need to pick an opponent. Not all opponents are worth fighting!

/~SeasonalAttackP breaks down the stats, but the shortened version is that you’ll want to fight these opponents in this order, working your way up as you go (for difficulty, chose the hardest level you can manage for each opponent).

For premium users:

For regular users:

The end goal is to get to the point where your pet can 1-shot your chosen opponent with a single weapon without taking damage (this allows for the fastest dailies run possible). To do this:

Train your pet up to level 50 and give them the lens flare ability. This prevents opponents from attacking.

Give your pet a powerful bomb-type weapon. I recommend Varia is the Bomb, which currently goes for 3–5 mil and does 25 icons.

Train up your pet’s strength. How high your strength needs to be for a one-shot depends on what opponent you’re focusing on and if you’re using one or two weapons; you can use Battlepedia’s damage calculator here to get an idea.

You can earn up to 15 items a day; how many items you get per battle is random. DO NOT stop battling until the “You have reached the item limit for today! You can continue to fight, but no more items can be earned” message pops up.

(Note: You can continue to earn items after the “You have reached the NP limit for today” message pops up. It’s only when the item message appears that you can’t earn anything more.)

Stock Your Shop

Do this last so you can price any items you obtained from the previous 7 dailies.

Try to do this once per day, which will prevent massive backlogs of unpriced items taking up space in your shop.

Note: If you already have a backlog, you can use Jellyneo’s shop price checker to get an idea of how to price things—but use caution and double-check prices when appropriate, as the checker may not always be accurate.

Part 2: Optional Dailies

These won’t make you nearly as many NPs as the above, but if you’re in a hurry to earn NP these are useful additions. All of these have been vetted as low/no risk with either a decent daily reward or a slim chance at a very large reward.

Daily Puzzle (Note: Answers are posted on Jellyneo)

Rich Slorg

Anchor Management

Forgotten Shore (Note: You need all 9 map pieces for access; just buy them on the SW, as they’re dirt cheap)

Coltzan's Shrine

Deserted Tomb

Grave Danger (Note: Need a petpet attached to one of your pets for this one)

Fruit Machine

The Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity

Tombola

Mysterious Negg Cave (Note: This one has a little puzzle to solve)

Faerie Caverns

Wishing Well (Note: Place 7 wishes @ 22 NP every 12 hours; you can use the recent winner’s list to get an idea of expensive items you can wish for)

Buried Treasure

Ye Olde Fishing Vortex

Part 3: Assorted Tips

Make sure to place any large amounts of NP into the bank immediately to protect yourself from random events. (I recommend keeping around 30K–50K on hand.)

Likewise, put any expensive items in your SDB or shop immediately.

It’s easier to make NP if you have NP. Try to save past your goals before making a large purchase so you have a “cushion” left over—it will save you a lot of time in the future.

Restocking used to be a good way to make NP, but currently bots snatch up all the valuable items. You can do it on the side and make a small profit by focusing on less profitable items, but it’s generally a time-intensive low-profit option.

Likewise, (traditional) games are a huge time sink with almost no profits (only 3K/game). Don’t bother unless you just want to play for fun.

For older players: You can use Jellyneo’s SDB Price Checker to find expensive items in your SDB to sell. Remember to double-check the prices on the SW/TP before selling!

Also for older players: Don’t forgot to check for unneeded Battledome weapons, old TCG cards, Neohome items, NeoDeck cards, and unused plot points.

It’s generally a good idea to sit on items from plots/events for a little while before selling—the price usually goes up over time (don’t wait too long though or it might be re-released!).

Always participate in plots and events when possible. Not only are they engaging, but the prizes are usually worth a decent amount.

And most importantly, remember to have fun!

#neopets #neotag #outdesign posts things #apparently copy/pasting bullets from reddit allows you to keep the indents on tumblr?? okay

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sgiandubh · 1 month

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Have nothing against Ashley, but how are things better? Only seen the gin on one bar. Rest are just her cocktail pictures. Where's the sales information, data? Where are cocktails featuring Sassy on their permanent menus? Still unsold bottles at local store here and nothing has been sold out for his small batch whisky. Do not see anything of an impact except nice pictures in bars and her comped trip to the UK. It's too expensive for an unknown brand, period. It's good but not great and nothing special that other more established brands do. The pop up was again directed to OL female fans. It's far too early to see any impact, unless you have P&L documents showing differently, do you?

Dear Nothing Against Anon,

Oh, here we go again: the pseudo-expert fuckwit, coming along with her corporate vocabulary, fake syllogisms and paltry logic, just in order to tearfully drone that sinister 'I hope that prick fails and disappears forever' dirge.

You sound just like those cowardly Fascist types who always start their worst bullshit rants with statements like: 'I am not a racist, but...' (proceeds with all the rest of the Klan's repertoire).

I wouldn't trust your perception of time, either. You want results, you want them NOW and you want them with a rabid vengeance you could surely put to a better use for the profit of more noble collective causes. But you seem to conveniently forget one simple, tiny detail:

She just started working for Great Glen Company's Sassenach Spirits subsidiary last May. For being less than three months in that company, she surely started to make a difference, taking things out of slumber, using her contacts and mapping out what clearly is an expansion strategy. What do you want her to do first? Change everything in 24 hours, preferably with a magic wand? Shouldn't she at least start somewhere and with something, first? She is doing exactly what I was expecting her to do, Anon: terrain work, in order to get a better feel of the market's fabric. And she is doing it the only right way - go where relevant people and relevant potential outlets are, talk to those people, make things happen.

As many, too many people in here, you are just judging based on what you see of her work on her and SS's social media accounts. While doing this, you also seem to conveniently ignore the amount of BTS work it takes - are you, by any chance, one of those incompetent corporate execs, always talking with great confidence about things they have no real grasp upon, Anon?

No, you aren't. Not even that. You are just another random moron, with a smattering of management accounting notions. You write absurd idiocies like '(...) unless you have P&L documents showing differently, do you? ', perhaps in the hope you'd intimidate me, or something. You probably have no idea of the fact that P&L (that is Profit & Loss, by the way) documents are mandatory for public companies only and issued on a quarterly and annual basis. And for your information, doll: a public company is a company using shares of stock in order to organize ownership. It may or may not be listed on a stock exchange, but the intention to have those shares traded is always present.

Until further notice, Great Glen Company is a private company, governed by US law. There is no legal obligation to issue the documents you so confidently mention.

And the pop up shop? Not really for mommies:

Now go play elsewhere. I have no time to further lose with people like you.

#anon #fandom #shitshow #business #booze wars

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yutahoes · 1 month

Text

Caramel

(Part Twelve)

characters: ex-stripper! Yuta x female! ex-wealthy! Y/N genre: chaptered, smut, angst, fluff word count: 2.5k words summary: Y/N has everything in her bitter life, not until she meets a sweet-looking stripper. warnings: matured theme, ex-stripper au!, third person POV, mentions of embezzlement, prison, and mild stroke taglist: @cherrymotodude @tenjyucat @justsomekpopstuff @ilhoonseyeballs @whyme11 @a-bts-world @amazinggraxia

Part Eleven

A lot has changed.

The only constant thing in life indeed is no other than change. Yet, smelling the rich aroma of coffee in her hands and feeling its warmth against her fingertips made Y/N feel comfortable.

A lot has changed but coffee still makes her sane. Dark coffee with caramel in particular. How could one forced and informal sales pitch change coffee for her? Truly, the wonders of marketing. A passion she dreamed of and the only thing she wanted to do in her life.

The reason why she was seated in this small coffee shop with one of the most successful chairmen in town. “I can’t believe you’ll leave me like this,” Jaehyun claimed, shaking his head. He then sipped his espresso which made the girl chuckle—such a fitting choice of coffee, perfect for a hard worker like him.

Jaehyun had achieved a large feat in his career in just almost five years. After inheriting the position from his father, he led the Jung Tradings to new heights locally and globally. He’s now the youngest most successful businessman probably in the whole world. “I can’t run the company without you, Y/N.”

The girl had to roll her eyes at that. He’s so dramatic. “I didn’t do anything. It was all you.”

He pursed his lips at that, “Is there any way for me to scout you back in my company? I can pay you double your salary from your new job.”

Y/N shook her head. It’s her final decision. She needed to move on. From Jaehyun. From the company. From the Kims. “Your dad has been asking if I have some news about you. And Junyoung wants to see you again.”

She can’t.

Not when she ruined their family.

Ever since she returned from Canada, she had never once seen anyone from the Kims. Even meeting up with Jaehyun to discuss some things from the company had been a huge secret.

Just months after the supposed wedding, news of her mom embezzling billions from the Kim Company shocked the nation. It was a huge loss to the company that the Jungs had to buy the remaining stocks, taking away everything from the Kims. All their hard-earned work is just gone because of a vile woman.

And it was all because of her. If Mr. Kim hadn't met Y/N, he wouldn’t have met her mom. Junyoung wouldn’t happen.

If she only became an obedient daughter to her mom, the older woman wouldn’t dare do this.

Her mom was sent to prison for her crimes. The Kim patriarch had a mild stroke, disabling him from helping build the company once again. He had been living with Doyoung in New York where the eldest Kim sibling kept doing his musical on Broadway. Jungwoo stayed in Paris to be a fashion designer and model. Leaving Junyoung in the country where Jaehyun, the closest in terms of family, becomes his legal guardian.

When Jaehyun contacted her after a year to ask for her help, she promised that she’d just help him earn back the billions her mom stole. She had to work as Jaehyun’s shadow without anyone knowing. “Y/N, you can still have your president position back. I’d rather have you working on the company than imagine you being a secretary to a starting company.” The girl giggled at that. She shouldn’t have shared a lot of things with Jaehyun. But the Suzaki group isn’t bad. It’s a starting tech company and the president was so amazed at her past work that he practically begged her to help their company. “Did you know that Mr. Suzaki used to be a yakuza?”

Oh. Y/N remembered how he had a very distinct way of talking. But a yakuza entering the world of business? He might really need some help. This could be her chance to prove something to herself without any help from anyone.

“Rumor has it that Mr. Suzaki is a womanizer.”

“I didn’t know you like to listen to rumors, Jae.” She teased making the guy hiss. “He seems fine. Besides, I’m not working with him.” Jaehyun had a confused look on his face. “I’m the second secretary of the vice president, his son.”

The guy gave a hearty laugh. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, Y/N.”

“Do you know him?” The guy shook his head, mentioning that he had never assumed that the president had a son who worked in the same company. “The president said he’s just coming back from studying abroad.”

“Must be young.” The girl nodded, finishing her coffee. “Maybe the president is setting you up with him.”

A chuckle escaped her lips while shaking her head. What is Jaehyun even thinking? “The president knew I have a son.”

Jaehyun smiled, dimple poking out of his cheek. “How is Ken?”

The girl smiled at the mention of the name. “Very talkative,” she started, making the guy laugh wholeheartedly. “He’s been asking a lot of questions about his dad lately.”

“I told you that you can introduce me as Ken’s dad.” But the girl only glared at him. “He’s growing up. He needs a father figure in his life, Y/N.”

“He has Mark.”

“He treats Mark like an older brother,” he chimed. Y/N had to look at him dead in the eyes for him to stop. “Seriously, Y/N, are you still waiting for him to come back?”

If there is one person in this world that Y/N could talk to with this stuff, it would be Jaehyun. He knew how she searched for that certain man for years. But it’s like looking for something that didn’t exist in the first place.

A lot of times she had thought that maybe Yuta was just a figment of her imagination. A person she only imagined. Come to think of it, he came like a strong breeze - shaking her up. Then when she needed him the most, he just disappeared with no trace.

But then she would look at her son, five-year-old Kenshin, and would see him in his eyes and smile. If she didn’t give birth to the child, she would wonder if her son was truly hers. He’s a spitting image of his father.

How could he forget about him when the person she currently loves in the whole world looks very much like him? Isn’t that foul? In the end, Yuta still makes her crazy.

Y/N shook her head. “I don’t. Five years was already too long to wait for him.” Jaehyun just gave her a judging look.

She can’t even fool Jaehyun with that simple lie. How could she fool herself?

—--

“Hyung is great but he’s such a workaholic.” Lee Haechan, the first secretary, complained. “He always gets into fights with the president so he keeps on working.” From what she garnered, it was the son who started the growing tech company but because he had no experience, he decided to study abroad by loaning money from his father. It was a weird family dynamic. But then, every family is.

Haechan was a ball of sunshine, the only light in the gloomy office. Obviously, their boss doesn’t entertain female employees. The younger guy was even surprised that she was hired as the second secretary. “Does the vice president hate girls?”

The younger would only laugh then shake his head, “The last female secretary he had became pregnant.” Oh. “The president got her pregnant and hyung was furious.” The rumors might be true then.

But that doesn’t answer her question. Maybe the vice president, her new boss, hates girls in his office because of that reason. But she surely wouldn’t be like that. The president knew about her son. And if he tries to do something, there’s Jaehyun who could easily pretend for her. “But hyung has a strong dislike for girls.” Haechan supplied that surprised Y/N. This is already a bad start. “His first love got married, leaving him heartbroken.” Isn’t that too much information already? “That’s why he started the company. A form of revenge.”

Y/N smiled. Why does she like that reason? Maybe because, the same as his, this is also her revenge. She’ll show Jaehyun that she can do this on her own and help this company grow bigger than the Jungs.

But first, she needed to impress her new boss.

It had been a week since she started her work but she had never met him. Haechan reasoned that he attended a convention out of the country and would be back in the weekend. What’s weird is that Y/N has no idea what he looked like. Is he young? Old? Is he nice? Strict? She doesn’t even have any idea what his name was. All she knows is that he’s Japanese, the son of the president, and older than Haechan.

They’re new money rich so she probably hasn’t seen him in social gatherings back then. Maybe Jaehyun had encountered him once but he would just say that he had never met someone with a Suzaki surname other than the president. But Haechan would shower him with compliments and great praises so she had an ounce of hope that he wasn’t that evil of a boss.

Monday has been too eventful for her. It was Ken’s first day in preschool. The young kid was as excited as she was. Who could imagine that years ago she was just holding that kid in her arms? Now, he’s walking away from her, waving his arms as he steps into his new world. A great milestone in Kenshin’s life.

And she wished that like her, Yuta was here to witness it.

The day was so eventful that she was running to the office building when she came in. She did inform Haechan that she’ll be late but this is the first day that she will be seeing her boss. She needed to make at least a great impression by being on time.

A relieved sigh escaped her lips when she came to the office door with just a minute to spare. She isn’t late just yet but a loud voice can be heard shouting from inside the vice president’s room, “She has the experience you need.” Y/N had to stare at Haechan in question. “You can’t be mad that I hired an experienced female in your team.” Are they talking about her?

The younger guy handed Y/N a clear file, “Noona, can you hand this to the HR Department?” They are indeed talking about her.

Maybe he really does hate girls, Y/N thought. Haechan did share that his first love got married, he’s probably hurt by that. If that happened to her, if her first love gets married to someone else, she’ll probably just hate the male population for a long time. She stopped in her tracks. Is that why she hasn’t found him? Is he already married to someone else?

When she returned to their office, Haechan was greeting him with a wide smile. “Hyung just went out to smoke.” That was a piece of new information. “I’ll introduce you to him when he comes back.”

It was the longest smoking break Y/N had ever experienced and she had never slipped a stick of cigarette between her lips before. She was so nervous, her insides tingling in suspense that she almost wanted to vomit. What the hell is this anticipation? Maybe her hands were shaking that she accidentally dropped the papers she just photocopied just as the elevator doors opened.

From her position on the floor, she could see a pair of leather shoes coming out of the elevator. The smell of something nostalgically sweet entered her nose. What was that perfume? She had been looking for the same exact scent for years. “Hyung, this is Y/N noona, the second secretary.” She didn’t dare to look up. This is an awkward first impression.

“Noona, this is Yuta hyung.”

Y/N felt dizzy when she looked up. A lot of times she had imagined what would happen if she came face to face with the man she had been searching for years once again. And this wasn’t the scenario she had in her mind.

There was surprise in his eyes which turned to coldness in an instant. “Haechan, bring the files inside my office.” He said coldly before walking past her as if he didn’t even see her. The other secretary even looked startled and confused. When the door closed, she felt her knees weakened that she leaned on the nearby table.

Maybe this is a dream. Maybe she was getting crazy because she had been thinking about him since this morning. That can’t possibly be Yuta.

Yuta is a Nakamoto, not a Suzaki. Maybe they just have the same name. And the same face. And even the same scent. He can’t be the Yuta she knows, right? That’s impossible.

When the door of his office slightly opened with Haechan coming out, she lightly caught a glimpse of him looking her way. Y/N clutched her chest. If it isn’t Yuta, why is her heart beating this crazy fast?

Maybe it was better for her that she didn’t have any idea who her boss was. It’s hard to concentrate on work knowing that she’s working in the same building, the same office as the man she had been searching for years. Does the president know about her and Yuta? Is that why she was hired here in the first place? But why? How?

Haechan was still inside the room discussing something with the vice president when someone from the reception handed Y/N an invitation that she needed to hand over to her boss. Her hand was still shaking when she knocked on the door. Haechan was the one who opened it and she handed him the invitation. The girl closed the door before catching a glimpse of Yuta seated on his chair reading a file. Yet before she could return to her chair, Haechan called for her to come inside the room.

Yuta removed his eyeglasses and then stared at her before handing the gold invitation. “RSVP for this party. The three of us are coming.” Y/N glanced at the name of the host and then sighed. Haechan claimed that it was his job but the older one shook his head, “Y/N can take care of it. She knows that person more than we do.”

The youngest had a confused look on his face before she nodded, “I’ll call Mr. Jung.”

The vice president put back his eyeglasses before discussing something with Haechan once again. Y/N gently closed the door then sighed in frustration. What the hell? Why is he so cold towards her? She took out her phone to call Jaehyun’s number. She could still take her childhood friend’s offer to work in his company, right?

“So your company got my invitation?” She knew it was too good to be true. “I really wanted to meet your new boss.”

“Jae,” she called, tears choking her throat. She didn’t know she’d get emotional at that moment. “You’ll never guess who my new boss is.” The tears fell down without her knowing.

A lot truly has changed.

Y/N didn’t know that even her feelings would change.

Part Thirteen

#yuta #yuta nakamoto #nakamoto yuta #yuta fluff #yuta nakamoto fluff #nakamoto yuta fluff #yuta angst #yuta nakamoto angst #nakamoto yuta angst

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