#How to live in isolation Covid-19

[mariacallous]

HANAU, Germany—On a fall day in 2022, Serpil Temiz Unvar was sitting in her kitchen when, through the window, she saw an older man and a German shepherd standing outside. Assuming the man was a neighbor, Unvar opened her window to greet him. She was bewildered when he began asking her increasingly strange and aggressive questions: Are you Kurdish? Why did you leave your homeland? How do you have enough money to live here and to go on so many vacations back in Turkey?

The experience left Unvar, 51, deeply unsettled. After the man left, she called several friends who confirmed what she already suspected: The man with the German shepherd wasn’t just a neighbor. He was also the father of her son’s killer.

Unvar’s son Ferhat, then 23, was one of nine people shot and killed in a violent rampage targeting immigrants on Feb. 19, 2020. The shooter, Tobias R., opened fire at a bar in Hanau’s center before driving across town, where he shot a man who had followed him from the first bar by car. Then, Tobias R.—identified by his first name and last initial in keeping with German privacy laws—walked into the Arena Bar & Cafe, showering patrons in a spray of bullets, Ferhat among them. The shooter then drove to his mother’s house, killed her, and turned the gun on himself.

The shootings shook Hanau, a city of just over 100,000 people 15 miles east of Frankfurt. The city is among Germany’s most diverse: Nearly 30 percent of Hanau’s population does not hold a German passport, according to recent city statistics, around twice the national average. German media reported that Tobias R. had posted a manifesto on his website shortly before the attack, which authorities described as demonstrating a “deeply racist attitude.”

The Hanau attack became a symbol of Germany’s struggle to extinguish far-right violence and anti-immigrant ideology. Then-Chancellor Angela Merkel condemned the attack, warning, “Racism is a poison. Hate is a poison.” But soon, news crews departed. Politicians who had offered solemn condolences moved on to other matters, and the country went into lockdown as the COVID-19 pandemic took hold.

Unvar felt a growing sense of rage at the government’s lack of response to the Hanau attack, she told me when I sat down with her in March. Later that year, she became an activist: She founded an educational initiative aimed at fighting racism in schools; testified on the Hanau killings in the state parliament of Hesse, where Hanau is located; and worked with the family members of other victims to pressure the government to take action to prevent future racist attacks.

But honoring Ferhat’s memory has made Unvar a target herself. The man’s 2022 visit to her home wasn’t an isolated event; Hans-Gerd R. came back that night and the next day. After Unvar filed a restraining order against him, he started sending her letters. “If you as a migrant hate the land of the German people, then please leave it, and quickly, and please go back to where you came from,” he wrote in one missive. The harassment and stalking are still going on, she told me.

Unvar’s fight against racist ideas about who belongs in Germany has laid bare how deeply ingrained this ideology remains in parts of the country—particularly as the far-right Alternative for Germany (AfD) party continues to creep up in the polls. “We want to trust this country, but this country also needs to protect us,” she said. “But how? I don’t know.”

The Hanau murders came on the heels of a string of other deadly racist attacks in Germany. Less than six months earlier, in October 2019, another right-wing extremist showed up at a synagogue in the eastern city of Halle on Yom Kippur intent on murdering Jewish worshippers; he ultimately killed two people outside the synagogue. Earlier that year, a local politician in the Hessian town of Kassel, Walter Lübcke, was shot and killed by a right-wing extremist who was unhappy over the politician’s welcoming policy toward refugees.

Hanau commanded particular attention because it was a targeted assault on people with “immigration backgrounds,” the official term Germany’s Federal Statistical Office uses to describe those who were born to at least one parent who was not a German citizen. German authorities also faced intense scrutiny for their handling of the incident.

The killer had been allowed to purchase a gun despite past indications that he had a mental illness, which authorities did not adequately investigate before issuing him a weapons permit. The Hanau police were slow to respond to emergency calls about the shootings because they were chronically understaffed. An investigation by regional authorities also revealed that 13 of the officers who responded to the attack were part of a police unit that was later disbanded due to a scandal over membership in right-wing chat groups.

In the Arena Bar, where Ferhat was killed, an emergency door had been locked to keep patrons from fleeing during regular police raids on the venue to look for illegal drugs. A damning investigation by the U.K.-based group Forensic Architecture featured in an exhibition in Frankfurt two years ago found that all five of those killed in the bar could have survived had the door been unlocked.

Late last year, after years of testimony and hearings, a Hessian parliamentary committee investigating the authorities’ response to the attack issued its final report. In 642 pages, it details the various security failures that contributed to the loss of life that day. But without concrete consequences for those responsible for the security failures in Hanau, victims’ family members say it’s hard to believe anything will meaningfully change in how Germany handles right-wing and racist terrorism.

None of the officers or authorities involved in Hanau’s security failures were disciplined or removed from their posts explicitly due to their handling of the situation. Although the Hessian parliamentary committee’s report outlined areas where German law enforcement had fallen short, those who lost family members that day felt its recommendations—for more stringent checks before issuing weapons permits, to develop anti-racism programs in schools, and to better communicate with families of victims—offered little more than lip service.

Armin Kurtovic, whose son Hamza was killed in the attacks, described the report as a “slap in the face” to the victims’ families. “I was convinced something like this wasn’t possible in this country,” he told German broadcaster Hessenschau late last year. “But the more I get involved and the more I read, the more I see: This is continuity.”

Police officers’ handling of the investigation was infuriating to Serpil Temiz Unvar, but it was hardly surprising to her and others who have tracked the history of far-right attacks in Germany. The authorities’ seeming blind spot for this kind of violence—and a lack of concrete action to prevent it—extends back far beyond Hanau.

The most famous case of recent far-right violence in Germany was that of the National Socialist Underground (NSU), a neo-Nazi terrorist cell that killed 10 people, mostly immigrants, across Germany over the course of 13 years, evading police notice. In their investigations of each murder, the police fell back on racist stereotypes of immigrants, assuming that those slain had been involved in the drug trade or victims of immigrant-on-immigrant crime; the German media dubbed them “kebab murders.”

“A nation that liked to think it had atoned for its racist past [was] forced to admit that violent prejudice was a thing of the present,” American journalist Jacob Kushner wrote in his recently published book on the NSU murders, Look Away, adding that “in an age of unparalleled mass migration, the targets of white terrorism are increasingly immigrants.”

When I arrived at the offices of Unvar’s organization, the Ferhat Unvar Educational Initiative, in March, the first thing I saw was a black-and-white mural of Ferhat. Wearing a cap and looking forward, his face appears next to the words “We are only dead when we are forgotten.” Ferhat had posted the phrase on social media before his death. It has now become his mother’s guiding principle as she builds an organization to honor his memory.

Unvar grew up in a Kurdish city in southern Turkey, near the border with Syria. Her father moved to Paris, and she eventually joined him. She moved to Hanau when she married a Kurdish man there, with whom she had four children, including Ferhat, before later separating.

In the months after her son’s killing, Unvar said she agonized over what she could have done to make his life better while he was still alive. She thought about the discrimination he faced in school as a student with an immigration background and found herself wracked with guilt that she hadn’t fought harder for him: pushing school officials harder to allow him on a more ambitious track of study, for example, or urging them to stop the discrimination he faced from teachers and other students.

Ferhat was gone, but many other children with similar backgrounds faced those same tough odds at school—and there was still a way to help them, Unvar remembered thinking. Nearly nine months after the attack, on Ferhat’s birthday in November 2020, Unvar officially founded her organization, which seeks to combat racism and discrimination in the German education system, giving talks and holding trainings and workshops to empower young people struggling against systemic racism and to educate teachers about the challenges that students from immigrant communities face.

Her first donation was from a group of Ferhat’s friends, who handed her an envelope with 125 euros they had raised together. She was touched and buoyed by the gesture. “I said, OK, I couldn’t help Ferhat, but I can help them through Ferhat,” she said.

The organization has since scaled up significantly. Donations and grants helped Unvar hire staff and spread the word about their anti-discrimination workshops. Some are for school-age children and youth, giving them a safe space to talk about their experiences of discrimination or racism; others are for teachers and educators, training them to root out racism in their classrooms; yet more are for adults in other professions, including airport staff at Frankfurt Airport. Along with Initiative 19 February Hanau, an organization run by the family members of several of the Hanau victims, Unvar’s initiative won the Aachen Peace Prize in 2021.

“I never had it in my head to do something like this,” said Unvar, reflecting on how her life changed after the attack. Sitting on a black couch in one corner of the organization’s big event space, with posters depicting the organization’s logo and events on the walls and brochures for her training programs on tables across the room, Unvar was animated as she described how she and others have built the initiative into what it is today. At the same time, she said, so “many people instrumentalize [the attack], not just politicians but also others. That hurt me deeply.”

Unvar told me that she hopes to create a cross-border support network for families of victims of terrorism. In Greece, she met Magda Fyssa, the mother of Pavlos Fyssas, a young anti-fascist musician murdered by members of the neo-Nazi organization Golden Dawn. She has also traveled to Norway, Spain, and France to meet with other families of terrorist victims and with organizations that combat terrorism. Unvar spoke with local activists and experts about ways to collaborate in their fight against violent extremism and learn from one another’s experiences.

“Regardless of which country I was in, I never felt alone,” she said. “I saw how many other people are also fighting in this direction against terror, for humanity, for human rights—that gave me strength.”

But Unvar admitted that it can be difficult to press forward with her activism while feeling that no matter how hard she works, or how hard others work, her efforts are unlikely to change a country unwilling to address its shortcomings when it comes to welcoming and safeguarding immigrant communities.

In January, the German investigative news outfit Correctiv released a report about a secret meeting between right-wing extremist leaders near Berlin, including members of the far-right AfD. Those present discussed a “remigration” plan to deport millions of people with immigrant backgrounds, including those with German passports.

Unvar said the national outrage over the Correctiv report—and the millions of people who turned out to protest across the country in the weeks that followed—gave her hope that the German population at large finally understood the scale of its problem with right-wing extremism. “It’s good that [the story] came out because then people like us can see how big and important a problem it is,” she said. “The racists—they’re not letting up. We’ve seen the danger is there. … We need to really hold together against the right wing and against terror.”

Still, the AfD continues to gain ground. Riding a wave of support for far-right parties across Europe, the party gained 5 percentage points in June’s European Parliament elections, coming in second—ahead of all three of Germany’s governing parties—with 16 percent of the vote. The AfD then won its first state-level victory in the eastern German state of Thuringia on Sept. 1, taking 32.8 percent of the vote; in neighboring Saxony, it came in a close second to the center-right Christian Democrats, with 30.6 percent of the vote. A third eastern state, Brandenburg, votes on Sept. 22; the AfD is leading the polls there.

The far-right party is also a growing threat in Unvar’s home state: In the years since the attack, Hesse’s political landscape has shifted to the right. The AfD won 18.4 percent to become the second-largest party in last fall’s state elections, an increase of 5.3 percentage points from the previous election in 2018.

In February, around the anniversary of the Hanau attack, Hans-Gerd R. sent Unvar another letter. Another one followed this spring.

Hans-Gerd R. has been cited dozens of times for harassing Unvar and other victims’ family members and for repeatedly violating a restraining order against Unvar. He was taken into custody when he defied the restraining order and showed up outside her house again in 2023. He was also briefly sent to jail that year for failing to pay his fines for the various citations he had received related to that harassment.

But despite the restraining order, the police told Unvar that they can’t do anything about the letters that keep arriving at her house: There are no laws in Germany against sending missives to someone via the postal system, regardless of the intolerance they contain.

Hanau Mayor Claus Kaminsky described Hans-Gerd. R’s harassment of Unvar and other victims’ family members as “subtle, almost diabolical” terrorism in a 2023 interview with the German broadcaster ARD, saying he wished the man would leave Hanau. But he reiterated that there is little the authorities can do beyond the penalties they have already put into place. “Of course, it would be best if the father left the city, if he changed his place of residence,” Kaminsky said. “That might even be better for him. But there is no legal way to force this.”

Toward the end of our time together, I asked Unvar whether she was afraid that Hans-Gerd R. would escalate from letters and leering outside her kitchen window to something worse. Unvar’s youngest son, Mirza, who is 11, had just come into the office and sat down next to her on the black leather sofa. She wrapped her arms around him as he looked up shyly.

“I’m not afraid, no. I really have zero fear—what should I be afraid of? What can happen? I’ve already lost my dearest son,” she said.

Ultimately, as she told me repeatedly throughout the course of our conversation, her fight isn’t about her. The educational initiative, the connections abroad, the advocacy, the long hours of volunteer work—it’s about children like Ferhat who struggle to get ahead in school because of the color of their skin; it’s about Mirza, sitting on the couch next to her, being able to grow up feeling safe.

“The killer’s father is still a danger to my family,” she said. “I don’t fear for myself, but I have children.”

[nolita-fairytale]

comfort & chaos (carmy berzatto x fem!reader) chapter two: covid & carbonara

summary: in a time of isolation, you and carmy find unexpected connection in unexpected places: each other. (the five times carmen berzatto fell in love with you a little and the one time he finally told you)

warnings: swearing, no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, drinking & smoking, suggestive language, mentions of covid-19/the pandemic, eventual smut.

word count: 4k

listen to: hot sugar - glass animals | hard to live in the city - albert hammond jr. | alone together - del water gap | foreign girls - bleachers

read: chapter one

March 2020: 

“Carmy, can you hear me now?” you ask, listening carefully for his response. 

“Yeah hold on. Wifi’s shit in this room,” he mumbles. You hear a rustle of sounds and the picture on your phone goes blurry for a second. This is just something you’ve come to accept is a part of your life now as you wait. 

Suddenly, the picture is clear again and it looks like Carmy’s in his living room now. He wears a white t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants as he tries to get comfy on the shitty sofa in his Flatiron apartment. 

“Ok there we go. I gotta-, yeah, I can hear you now,” he says, finally settling in. 

“How are you?” you ask as you grow more sure that you’re going to be able to talk now. “It’s good to see your face.”

“Yeah, no uh. It’s good to see you too,” he replies. “Shit’s so weird right now, huh?”

“Totally,” you agree. “So… what’ve you been up to? I mean… how are you spending your time?”

He sighs, shaking his head, as if to say that he barely knows how to answer that question. He thinks it over before answering with:

“I don’t know. Workin’ on some recipes. Tryin’ not to lose my fuckin’ head. You?”

“Same,” you commiserate. “Though… I don’t know. I’ve kind of been enjoying some of the down time, you know?”

He couldn’t agree less. 

Carmy tells you about the recipes he’s working on. You share with him the plot of the show you’re binge watching right now. He tells you he hasn’t really been in touch with family much and you let him know that you’ve been running errands for your parents where you can. It’s a fairly normal conversation for a very uncertain and strange time, but it brings you comfort – talking to Carmy. 

You talk about the state of the restaurant industry. The state of the world. The two of you wonder when the restaurant might open back up – if they’ll consider doing to-go’s. He’s not sure and neither are you.

It’s almost two hours later when you realize your phone is dying, and that somehow, time has flown as the two of you have been talking. 

“Shit, uh. My phone’s dying. I may have to go,” you say remorsefully. 

“Oh yeah! No problem,” Carmy replies, almost apologetically. “And I uh, if I get in touch with the people at World Central Kitchen, I’ll let you know. I’m sure they can always use more chefs and volunteers.”

“No, that’d be great. Uh… before I go,” you start, knowing that you want to tell him this. “I just wanted to say… I’m glad we did this.”

“Yeah me too,” he agrees, and you can tell he means it. 

“Maybe… we do it again? Keep each other company… you know. Virtually?” you propose, hopefully. 

“Yeah,” Carmy half smiles. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

And as the pandemic drags on, you find yourself FaceTiming with Carmy more and more. Once a week turns into once a week and a consistent exchange of texts. He shares with you the recipes he’s working on. You bounce ideas around with him on dishes he feels stuck on. You send him silly memes and TikToks, even though he refuses to get an account himself. Once a week turns into twice a week, and then phone calls, and soon enough, you don’t go a day without talking to Carmy in some capacity. 

You’re not sure how you’ve done it but you think that maybe you and Carmy just might be friends. 

May 2020: 

“Thanks so much for all the help guys. It means a lot. Especially having two chefs of your caliber,” the volunteer coordinator says, addressing both you and Carmy. 

“Listen, we’re just happy to be a part of something right now. With so much going on… it’s hard to know where to begin helping,” you reply with gratitude. You’re genuinely thankful that you’ve been able to be a part of World Central Kitchen’s COVID relief efforts, and you know Carmy feels the same. 

“We’ll see you guys next Friday?” the volunteer coordinator asks. 

“Heard,” Carmy answers, thanking the coordinator one more time before the two of you leave the building. 

Around the corner, there’s a bench that the two of you find. It’s an easy choice to sit down – neither of you are quite ready to go home yet. You sit on opposite sides before removing your masks as Carmy pulls out a pack of marlboros. 

“You want one?” he asks you, holding out the pack.

“Yeah,” you agree, taking one from him at a distance. You watch him light up, before handing you the lighter he keeps in his jean jacket pocket.

It’s nice to take a moment to pause. Between the chaos of being in a kitchen again to the chaos of the world around you, it feels good to smoke a fucking cigarette on a street corner with the man that’s so unexpectedly become your friend. The two of you sit in a comfortable silence, just enjoying the sounds of the city, each others’ company, and your fuckin’ cancer sticks. 

You break the silence between the two of you, letting out the smallest chuckle.

“What?” Carmy asks you, your laugh garnering his attention. 

“It’s just… it’s almost funny,” you say, continuing your giggle. 

“What?” he asks you again, a look of amusement on his face. He can’t imagine what must be so funny. 

“Just… seeing you here… Mr. Fine Dining…makin’ sandwiches,” you tease playfully. “Thought you were too fancy-pants for that.”

“Fuck off,” he rolls his eyes playfully, sucking on his cigarette as he inhales. You laugh again as he shakes his head, shooting you another look. 

He takes his time, exhaling the smoke out in the opposite direction, before addressing your playful remarks. 

“Nah. It uh-, actually reminds me of my family’s place a little. Back home,” he shares with you. 

It catches you off guard. Carmy rarely ever talks about home, let alone his family. 

“Yeah?” you ask curiously, hoping he’ll elaborate.

“Yeah,” he answers with a nod, before placing the cigarette back in between his lips. 

To your disappointment, you realize that’s all he’s planning to share. You resign yourself, taking another drag of your cigarette as the two of you smoke to the sounds of the city. After a long shift at the volunteer kitchen, your exhaustion begins to catch up with you. It’s been a few months since you’ve had to stand for that long, and as exhilarating as it’s been, you can feel the fatigue in your back and your feet already. 

“So… I was thinkin’ about something,” Carmy says, breaking the silence between the two of you. 

You angle your body towards him before asking, “What’s that?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know. Maybe it’s dumb.” 

He’s suddenly shy, and your eyes flicker over his cheeks that have turned a darker shade of red than they were before. 

“Carmy, what is it?” you ask, leaning towards him, now intrigued.

He avoids your gaze before he replies, “Nah. Nevermind. It’s stupid.” 

“No, it’s not! What is it?” you continue to press him.

You’re not going to let this go. 

“I shouldn't've said anything.” 

He sighs, taking one more drag of his cigarette before leaning forward and tossing it on the ground. His left foot hovers over the cigarette butt as he stamps it out, his forearms resting on his legs as he finally turns to you again. 

“I don’t know how you feel about it, and you can totally say no because like… shit’s still fucked, you know but-,” he starts, shyly. Was Carmy about to ask you out?

 He pauses, his eyes scanning the pavement beneath his feet before saying, “It’s just-, I’m not like, seeing anyone else in person. Except you.”

“Yeah, no me either,” you agree. 

Where was this going?

“Would you maybe wanna-?” he asks, before trailing off, his piercing blue eyes so intense it feels like he’s looking right through you. He nods towards the kitchen before continuing with, “... see each other in person. Like outside of here. As long as we’re being safe you know?” 

You nod, quick to put the poor man at ease, and only a little intrigued as to why it was so difficult for him to ask you that. 

“Yeah no. I’m not seeing anyone else in person either. And at this point if we had COVID, we’d probably already have exposed each other, right?” you reply. 

“Yeah,” he answers. 

“Yeah, I’d be down. To… you know. Maybe move some of our FaceTimes… in person, if that’s what you mean,” you agree, a smile on your face. 

You’re not sure what you expected, but you weren’t expecting for Carmy to ask you to become his quarantine buddy – even if you’d already kind of been doing it anyways. 

“Cool,” he says, taking a breath. 

You can tell that it was a big deal for him – to ask you that – even if he doesn’t want to show it. 

“Can I walk you home?” he asks. 

You smile in return, “Yeah. And if you’re feeling wild… we can… pick something up on the way there. You can come up and hang.”

“No, yeah. That uh-, that sounds great,” he replies, something softer in his eyes this time. “If you don’t mind. I mean-, if you want the company-.”

“Oh shut up, Berzatto,” you roll your eyes at him. You shoot him a look, even though you’re kind of loving this softer side of him. 

“I wouldn’t have offered, if I didn’t.”

July 2020: 

Carmen Berzatto becomes an unexpected yet pleasantly surprising part of your support system, and your COVID-pod. It’s hard to believe that less than a year ago, you thought the man absolutely hated you. He’s still the hot and cold, emotionally turbulent man you met last October, and he’s also become your friend. You’ve learned that he can be soft, that he’s terribly uncomfortable in any and all social situations, and that he’s the most single-minded, driven, obsessed motherfucker you’ve ever met. 

By now, the restaurant has pivoted and reopened for to-gos only. It’s nothing like the fine dining establishment it was before. You’re only open Thursday to Sunday and it’s a much more family style, to-go kit sort of operation these days: to-go cocktail kits, to-go curated menus, to-go assemble your own dishes at home. 

It’s strange. And it’s a strange time for all of you. 

You’re finished with your shift today, ready to head home and spend the next three days off. You’re not sure when you’ll ever get three days off in a row once all of this is over, so you’ve decided that you’re just going to embrace the slower lifestyle right now. You’ve been more creative in this chapter of your life than you can remember. 

“So you layin’ it down for Carmy or what?” a voice asks, jolting you from your thoughts. 

“Excuse me?” you snap, turning your head to a very smug looking Nate Walker, stripping off his face mask.

“What the fuck, man?” Tim exclaims, as he’s changing back into his street shoes. “Not okay to say.”

“What?” Nate defends himself. “I’m just wondering who I have to thank. This is the most relaxed I’ve ever seen the boss man.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes, “Really nice, Nate.” 

You shake your head, before slinging your backpack over your right arm, exchanging a look with Tim. 

“Not that it’s any of your business, but Carmy and I are just friends,” you correct. “Ever think that some time off has been good for all of us and that’s why Carmy’s been chill?”

“‘S not like we’re working at the same capacity we used to be. I think it’s been good for him,” Tim chimes in, trying to offer you a little backup.

“Sure,” Nate replies, unconvinced. 

“What’s it to you anyways, Walker?” Tim asks, putting the spotlight on his coworker. 

“Nothin’,” Nate replies, defensively. “Just noticed you guys spendin’ a lot of time together lately. Besides, the guy could use a good lay.”

“You’re a child,” you snap with an eye roll. You slide your left arm into the other strap of your backpack, ready to leave. “Now if we’re done with the girl talk, I’m going home.”

As you begin to walk away, you can hear Nate defending himself as Tim points out how inappropriate it was for him to say that to you. You’re grateful for people like Tim, because you’re not sure that Nate would listen to anyone else lower in the French brigade system – let alone a woman. 

“We still on for tomorrow?” Carmy asks you, as you're on your way out. He’s still in his chef whites because, as the both of you know, he’s going to be the last person to leave. A smile spreads across your face as soon as you see him. 

That’s right. You’re spending your day off tomorrow with him. 

“Yeah,” you smile with a nod. 

“Mine or yours?” he asks. 

You shoot him a look – a ‘I know you haven’t cleaned up your place’ kind of look. 

“Mine,” you reply. 

“Sweet. There’s a cool market nearby I wanted to check out. I’ll pick somethin’ up on the way,” he says back. 

“Heard.”

You wait a beat before adding, “Try not to work too hard, chef.”

He likes that you’re looking out for him. 

He smiles, “Heard.”

*

As much as you’ve tried not to let Nate Walker get to you, you can’t stop thinking about what he said the day before. Did people think you and Carmy were sleeping together? Did the whole staff think you were trying to sleep your way to the top? Your mind races, and you notice the anxious feelings you have have settled deep in your chest. Carmy moves around your kitchen, intentionally, and while you’d like to enjoy how happy he looks when he cooks for fun, you can’t seem to shut off your brain. 

“You sure I can’t help? I went to culinary school too, yknow?” you ask, trying to put on your best lighthearted tone. 

“Nah,” he dismisses, pulling together a sauce in one of the glass bowls you keep in your kitchen for prep. 

As Carmy steals a glance your way, he’s surprised to find that whatever weight it seems you were carrying when he first walked in, hasn’t gone away. He returns his focus to the stovetop, shaking the stainless clad frying pan that holds his precisely-cut lardons. 

“What’s up?” he asks you, keeping his back to you. 

“Uh… nothing,” you reply, trying your best to shake it off. 

He knows you’re lying, and he turns to look at you again, more intently this time. Your lips are pressed together in a thin line and there’s a new tension knitted between your brows that’s not normally there. As much as you’re trying not to let it get to you, your face betrays you and he knows that something’s been bothering you all day. He shoots you an unconvinced look and you sigh in defeat. 

Since when had Carmy learned what that look meant. 

“Just-, you’re gonna think it’s dumb,” you start, almost embarrassed that you have to bring this up to him. 

“What’s up?” he asks, patiently. 

You shrug, “Just something that Nate said yesterday’s been… bothering me, I guess.”

He rolls his eyes, letting out a dry laugh as he asks you, “Well Nate’s a dick. What’d he say?”

“I-, I don’t know if I should tell you,” you admit hesitantly. 

“Why?” he asks, a pang of nerves hitting him right in the gut. 

You wait a beat, trying to figure out how best to convey what Nate said without freaking Carmy out. 

“He uh… he kind of… suggested that everyone thinks we’re sleeping together?” you say cautiously, your voice going up at the end of the sentence, almost as if it were a question. 

“Oh,” is all Carmy manages to get out. 

“Yeah,” you exhale. 

“Well, we’re not,” Carmy replies, simply. 

Right. 

“Right,” you agree. 

You’re surprised by the feeling of disappointment that wells in your chest in response to Carmy’s reply. This had been eating away at you and for him to shut it down so quickly – like it was that simple – doesn’t quite make sense to you. 

Maybe it’s because men never bear the burden of an inappropriate workplace relationship, not that you’re having one with Carmy, but you know it’d be a bigger cost to you than it’d ever be for him.

“I just…” you start, beginning to understand why it’s bothering you so much. “Do you think… like is it a problem that we’re hanging out? I mean, you are kind of my boss and… I don’t know. I guess we never really talked about the ethical implications of… you know. Us. Being friends. And also working together.”

Friends. 

Right. 

Maybe because it’s because he’s never really had friends, let alone a girlfriend, that catches Carmy off guard.

You’re just friends, motherfucker, Carmy thinks to himself. 

It’s like he’d almost forgotten. 

Perhaps it’s the isolation – the way of the world right now – but he’s never thought about what you were to him. Ever since the two of you had decided to start spending time together, it had been you and him against a very scary and uncertain world. Carmy’s surprised to find that, hearing it said aloud, friends, leaves him with a feeling of dissatisfaction – like the word friend didn’t quite describe the way he felt about you. 

But he’s terrified to think about what that could mean. That anything else would probably scare you away – push you out of his life – and there’s no way in hell he’s going to let that happen right now. 

Because he likes this too much. 

Because he likes who he is when he’s with you. 

Because you’re all he has. 

He pushes the thoughts out of his mind for another time, because right now, you’re sitting right in front of him, and he’s got a problem to solve for you. 

“As long as we’re professional in the kitchen… I don’t see why it should be a problem,” he says. 

You’re not sure how it seems so simple for him, because it doesn’t feel this simple for you. 

“Yeah, no. I-, I agree,” you lie. 

Carmy returns to what he’s doing, and you accept that that’s probably the full conversation that you’re going to have with him. At least right now. You watch as he continues to cook, pulling together the sauce as he tosses the pasta and cheese in your frying pan. You open up your phone, scrolling through a few social media posts to try your best to get your mind off of your worries as Carmy finishes up in your kitchen. 

It’s not long before he’s returned to your small dining table. You set your phone down, watching as he approaches you. 

“I remember you mentioning that it’s hard to find a good carbonara so uh… thought I’d make you one,” he says confidently. Carmy hands you bowl containing a perfectly twirled nest of spaghetti, along with a fork he’d gotten from your kitchen. 

“How do I know it’s gonna be up to my standards?” you challenge him playfully. 

He shoots you a ‘don’t play with me’ kind of look and you giggle in response. You exchange glances with Carmy before messing up the perfectly plated nest by digging your fork into it. 

“Make sure you get a little bit of everything,” he reminds you. He watches as you twirl the spaghetti around your fork, making sure to scoop up a bit of crispy guanciale. You lift the fork to your mouth before taking a bite, your eyes closing as the salty, cheesy, bite hits your tongue. 

It’s perfect.  

“Holy fuck,” you practically moan in response to your first bite. You open your eyes and he smiles back at you, proud of the response he’s earned from you. Your face twists into a look that falls somewhere between ‘this is so good I’m angry and hello, I’ve reached nirvana.’ 

“This-, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m pretty sure your talents are being wasted on fine dining, my friend. This is… this is fucking unreal, dude,” you say, as you continuing processing the most perfect carbonara you’ve ever had in your life. 

“No offense taken,” he says. 

You shake your head at him, “Best carbonara ever.”

September 2020: 

“So we go upstate, and we’re searching for outdoor activities we can do, you know, safely, at a distance, with masks on. And we end up at this goat farm,” Maya says, describing her and her fiance’s last few months spent in upstate New York. 

“...Was the goat named Milo?” Carmy asks, a humorous tone to his question. 

“Carmy!” you exclaim with a laugh, shooting him a look. 

“What?” he asks back. 

Both Liz, Maya, and her fiance Patrick send you questioning looks. 

“I-, it’s an inside joke,” you explain, shaking your head once again in response to Carmy’s very silly interjection. 

“Anyways, it’s so nice to be back in the city. Seriously, Liz, thanks for organizing this,” Maya continues. 

“Oh, I’m kind of getting really into this whole cute picnic thing actually,” she replies, in reference to the picnic she’s organized for the five of you. “Plus, the to-go picnic kit has been killing at the restaurant. Thanks for letting me run with that, chef.”

“No, yeah. You’re killin’ it. It was a great idea,” Carmy compliments. 

The five of you spend time in the park, catching up and enjoying time spent in person for the first time in a long time. You, Liz, and Carmy have been back at work, pushing through, what will hopefully be, the last month or so in the to-go only business at the restaurant. As the sun begins to come down, you all agree that it’s time to pack it up and go home. You’ve begun to collect all of the trash in a brown paper bag as Carmy offers to take it. 

“You sure?” you ask him. 

“Yeah,” he answers. 

As he takes a walk, in search of the nearest trash can, your friends are immediately on you about whatever the hell it is that you and Carmy are doing. 

“So what I’m hearing is… you talk every day, you have inside jokes together, and you’re basically quarantining together. How are you trying to tell us that this man is not your boyfriend?!” Maya exclaims. Her partner shrugs in agreement. 

“I know that what Nate said was hella inappropriate, but he’s not wrong… that this is the most I’ve seen him relaxed in… maybe since we met him,” Liz adds in as your friends make their case. 

“He seems into you,” Patrick offers. 

“I-,” you start, knowing you don’t have much time before Carmy returns. “I don’t know. All I know is… I like what we have. And right now, we’re friends so.”

“God, you’re so good at it,” Maya sighs. 

“What?” you ask, looking from her to Liz as they exchange glances. 

The both turn to you, before saying in unison, “Compartmentalizing!” 

Patrick holds his hands up as he says, “I’m gonna stay out of this one.”

“You ready to go?” Carmy asks, rejoining you and your friends. 

You can practically feel Liz and Maya staring at you. 

“Yeah,” you reply to Carmy. 

You say your goodbyes before going your separate ways, and Maya swears when Carmy isn’t listening that you’re not done talking about this. It’s just been you and Carmy for so long that you hadn’t thought about what it might look like to other people. Now that things were slowly reopening… you were beginning to get more questions, and maybe, you were beginning to have more questions too. 

But the last time you’d tried to bring up any conversation about your relationship with Carmy, he’d shut it down and distracted you with the best carbonara you’ve ever had in your life. Not that you were complaining, definitely not, but you were hesitant to bring it up any time soon.  As Carmy looks at you, there’s something about the way you look against the backdrop of the city, the setting sun, and the sparkling lights, that catches him off guard. He’s not ready to part ways with you yet.

“Can I walk you home?” Carmy offers, hopefully. 

“Sure,” you nod.

read chapter three

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila @cool-girl-is-hot @nunya7394 @galaxyprincess51-blog @carmensberzattos

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive

By Nicole Karlis

Far from rare, long COVID in kids is devastating families. Experts say schools can do more to help their students

In January 2022, Jennifer Robertson’s now 11-year-old son, Fergus, developed long COVID, a condition in which the symptoms of COVID-19 linger for months or even years. Due to his symptoms, he missed nearly six weeks of school after his first infection. He’d be in and out of the classroom for the rest of the school year.

Robertson never knew how her son would feel day to day. After three months of daily fever spikes, red eyes, and chest pains, the family pulled him out of their school to be homeschooled for a year. There was hope when he returned to in-person school last year at a private, and more flexible, school.

But then he caught the virus, again. This year, as many kids returned to school, Fergus returned to home education. Robertson told Salon in a phone interview that this is to “both to catch him up on things that he needed help with or missed and to try to avoid the non-stop repeat infections that come from school."

But additionally, the lack of COVID-19 precautions in schools is a deterring factor to sending him in-person. “We feel we will never heal from this as long as schools have no ventilation, open windows, air purifiers, and policies that children and staff can come to school while actively positive with COVID," Robertson said, adding that she and her family feel “forgotten” as the 2024 school year begins.

“The days, months, and years are rolling by with no precautions from school,” Robertson elaborated. “All the while more children join families like ours every day, due to complete and utter negligence from those around us and the authorities who have the power to change things for the better.”

Robertson and her family are based in the United Kingdom, but the lack of coronavirus protections in educational settings follow an international trend. In 2022, schools across the United States started to relax their masking policies, making them “optional.” Today, seeing a kid wearing a mask in class is a rarity.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention changed their guidance earlier this year, now suggesting people treat COVID like other respiratory illnesses, such as flu and RSV. That means when a kid is sick with COVID, they no longer have to stay home in isolation for five days. All they have to be are fever-free for 24 hours. The change in guidelines eased concerns about absenteeism, which became a significant worry during the pandemic. Research has found that chronic absenteeism, or missing at least 15 days of school in a year, affects academic outcomes. However, the relaxed approach in schools and society is leaving kids with long COVID behind.

“Schools must make it safe for all children that attend, whether they currently suffer from long COVID or not,” Robertson said. “Many children are potentially just one more infection away from developing the debilitating effects of long COVID.”

A study published in February 2024 estimated that up to 5.8 million children have long COVID. Recently, some health experts declared this a public health crisis among the pediatric population. In a more recent study, led by the National Institutes of Health’s RECOVER Initiative, researchers asked caregivers to tell them about the symptoms that their children or teenagers had been experiencing more than four weeks after a COVID infection. For some children in the study, that meant their symptoms lingered for three months after their infection. For others, it was up to two years.

For many kids with long COVID, returning back to school means not attending school at all.

“That’s because of the severity of the illness that they are living with, and also, in part, the lack of flexible and hybrid opportunities there are for education,” Sammie McFarland, the CEO of Long COVID kids, a UK-based, international non-profit that advocates for families and children with long COVID, told Salon. “In education, one of the biggest challenges is for educators to understand long COVID, and without that understanding, it makes it very difficult for there to be a good home and school relationship.”

For children with long COVID, McFarland told Salon she sees a lot of “breakdown” between schools and families due to the lack of understanding about the condition, which she believes stems from poor public health messaging. The impact is significant on the children themselves who want to be in school and miss their previous school lives.

“The children tell us they miss their community, they miss being part of their school life, they miss their friends, and they miss feeling included,” McFarland told Salon. “The whole education system is really set up to achieve, and when the young person is not able to do that because health challenges take over, there's an enormous sense of loss, grief and disappointment.”

Long COVID Kids has put together a series of recommendations for educators to better accommodate children with long COVID. The recommendations include educators being flexible when health needs take priority over education. When children with long COVID are out of school, the organization recommends that educators maintain contact with the children and facilitate a sense of belonging to give kids a sense that they will be welcome back when they return. In the school, they recommend flexible timetables and providing kids with long COVID a calm environment when they need a break to rest.

Alternative school options have been a saving grace for many long COVID families. Laura Covington’s son Matthew, who lives in Virginia, contracted the virus in January 2021. At first, his symptoms were mild. But a month later, Matthew started having chest pain, a rash, and body aches. At first, his school was understanding about his condition. But towards the end of that school year, Covington said, the school told him that his regular absence was a disruption. That was one of the few reasons they left that school. Today, he attends an outdoor school.

“These kids are outside 60 percent of the day in all kinds of weather,” Covington said. “And that was favorable for Matthew, just mitigating the risk of any of the germs that typically float around schools.”

When Salon spoke to Covington, they were on day 26 of the school year. However, Matthew had only attended for three and a half days. However, it’s not a problem for the school, Covington said.

“They've really worked around his medical needs as well as his social and emotional growth,” Covington said. “And I think that's really important for schools to do, and we recognize that a lot of schools, especially public schools, are not doing that.”

But some are stepping up. For Robin Scott, based in California, she has been able to find a school that is accommodating to her daughter, Katie. After she and her family got infected with COVID in August 2021, Katie was in and out of the emergency room. Blood tests showed she had elevated markers for MIS-C, a rare but severe illness that can occur after a COVID infection. For the rest of the school year, the five-year-old struggled with various symptoms causing her to be in and out of school. Today, the third grader is in a supportive educational environment, Scott said.

“Our school has been amazing,” she said. “Having that relationship with the school has been huge for my peace of mind, and for Katie's well-being, and she's got friends that are super supportive of her and understanding.”

[wooahaeruby]

Chapter 4: You've Given Me A Piece of Happiness

Chapter Word Count: 3,683

Anything in Bold Italics are Korean/Another language

Master List | Prev | Next

2020

Everything went to hell for a while.

March brought the shutdown of New York. Covid-19 was running rampant across the entire world. You didn’t know what to make of it. Though your job didn’t lay you off, you were working one-hundred percent from home. It was killing you, months of staring at the same walls, trying to navigate the unknown of the world around you to survive. Many days held anxiety for your loved ones, worried for their wellbeing, their soulmates. Being in one of the epicenters of the breakout, you took care to self-isolate and keep inside as much as possible.

It was hard, but over the years, your mental health got better, you spoke with your friends, your family, and started making more friends here in the city. You had moved up in the past three years at your job, you had an amazing team behind you that was open minded and ready to work unlike many of the other coworkers you’ve dealt with in the past. You made the comment of being alone but never lonely.

“Mimi, you really should just let me have groceries delivered to your house, I can afford it if it’s too much for you.” You sighed into the phone, laying back on your couch. “Or let me reach out to Jay and have her help you since she is in town.” 

“ Sweetie, you know I don’t really mind going out, I need it! I might be old but your grandfather and I are healthy, we are letting the soulbond do its magic.” Mimi laughed, moving something around in the background. She huffed and more rustling was heard. “ I’m taking precautions; masks, washing my hands, and I’m taking those damned vitamins you sent us every day – which is annoying as hell by the way. And your grandfather is being a peach fixing all the little problems we’ve had in this house for years now.” 

Shaking her head, you blankly stared at the ceiling before rolling your eyes. “Just don’t do anything reckless. I have Jay keeping an eye on you and I can get the neighbors to-” 

“ Goodbye Y/N, I love you. Don’t pester me-” And she hung up on you.

Not long after your abruptly ended call, a video call came in, one from your coworkers turned close friend, James, or Jamie as you call him. He has been calling you nearly every day since he was bored at home since his boyfriend, who worked in the Japanese business aspect of the company, was across the country with his family. Swiping your finger across the screen, you were met with a similar sight to yourself, Jamie laying back with his phone above his head. 

“Babes, listen up, I have the best announcement of the year.” You scoffed but said nothing in protest. “Seventeen is having a comeback next month.”

Ah yes, that was a recent development. For about a year now you have fallen into the trap of Kpop – thanks to Jamie. Seventeen was the first group he introduced you to when you noticed a guy as his background, who you thought was his boyfriend at first. Turned out to be a member named Mingyu, who you jokingly called Big Sexy once while drinking, and his boyfriend’s – well, soulmate – Kazuk ‘bias’ as they called it, was Jeonghan. 

“Didn’t they just release Fallin’ Flower a little over a month ago?” 

“Yes and? Moving on, we need to start saving money for when they have another world tour since we didn’t go to the one before the pandemic.” 

“You won’t take no for an answer?”

“Never, you have accepted yourself into this hole and I’m going to drag you in every way I possibly can.” At that, you laughed now, letting a snort out at the foolishness. Jamie only grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. “And you can see your favorite, most handsome bias in the whole world live, Scoups~” 

“That isn’t so unappealing…” You sat up from your lying position and shook your head. “If we work hard and can get everything done from now until then without an issue, how about I treat us to it. Deal?” 

“Deal, boss lady.” 

Jamie laughed now, jumping up and off his bed as he paced energetically about his apartment. “You better start saving your money because I’m going to knock this shit out of the ballpark. Do you understand me? I’ll hold this bet over your head now!” 

The sudden shift in languages wasn’t uncommon now. You had finished your linguistics degree, having proficiency in four languages, and were currently in the processes of your Masters in business and international relations. It only reminded you of when Jamie first introduced you to Kpop the year prior. 

“Wait wait wait, you speak, read, breathe Korean in your job, you literally deal with international business from there and you don’t know Kpop?” He had asked, eyes wide and disbelief across his face. 

“I hate to tell you this Jamie, I’ve been living under a rock trying to keep my head above the water and moving up in my job. It isn’t like I had a lot of free time between that and finishing my first degree.” You replied as you typed away on the computer at your office desk. “Plus, I’ve listened to kpop, just never dove deep into all the fandom and group mumbo-jumbo.”

“ I don’t doubt that at all my dear friend.” Something Jamie liked to joke about was that your voice became softer each time you spoke in Korean, Japanese as well. “ But don’t just be working hard for a concert, understand? If your performance drops after, I can and will fire you as your boss.” 

“Oh because you would totally want to fire me, basically secretary and best friend.” Sarcasm bled into his words. “ You wouldn’t have a piece of entertainment in that boring off all day when we go back in the building or in your quiet studio apartment if i never called you so often. ”

Thinking back at those memories never failed to bring warmth to your chest. Jamie’s relationship with Kazuki, or just Kazu as he liked to be called, had given you some hope of the relationship you hope to have with your soulmate; communication, love, support, and understanding. From what you can tell, your soulmate wasn’t someone from your country, you’ve had many sleepless nights because of their sleep schedule being opposite of your own. 

Many of those nights you wondered what kind of person they were, what they did for a living, so much more, but you didn’t ponder too much. You held hope for yourself and your soulbond unlike your parents did. Those same nights you looked down at the countdown on your wrist, feeling whatever emotion they were experiencing, and wondered what that day will bring when you meet them. 

“I don’t even feel sick but we have to be holed up in our rooms for two weeks.” Seungkwan complained in their zoom call ‘schedule’ before they were recording. “ It just sucks we can’t do the stages and see Carats.” The pout was permanent on his expression currently. 

“ Yah, just be grateful we aren’t feeling sick like millions of others in the world.” Mingyu rolls his eyes, leaning back in his desk chair. 

“ Mingyu-hyung, you know I don’t mean it like that!” 

“Both of you, quiet. Let’s just get through this and pray the next two weeks go quickly so we can move on from this.” Joshua sighed, adjusting his laptop for a better view of himself once the recording started. 

Getting Covid right after the release of a new mini album wasn’t the worst thing so far. Or at least that’s what Jihoon told himself. Well, aside from the fact that he didn’t have much of his recording equipment…or a palace where he can work out properly…and all he really could do was watch anime. That wasn’t so bad.  There were plenty of new anime that were released or some that were getting another season. 

That began the longest two weeks of his life. Boredom was the overarching feeling. While he was a homebody (or studio-body as everyone liked to say for him), he hated the feeling of being locked up and unable to do anything. Jihoon had started a workout routine with the items he found around his room or calisthenics. He had taken to sleeping the majority of the days and while on a normal schedule, that would be fine for a day off, but after his third nap of the day and still days on end to go, he resorted to reading tweets, instagram posts, and more entertainingly, Tik Toks. 

Carats, despite Seventeen’s inability to perform for them, were great at entertaining themselves. Edits, assumptions, and just overall weird or funny tweets were simple joys they could pursue. In his mindless state, he began sending them into the groupchat the thirteen of them had. Jokes were exchanged regarding Jihoon of all people sending Seventeen memes into the chat, but not long after, a few others joined in on the antics. It was better than them watching netflix in bed, now it was just social media flipping before going back to netflix. So amusing. 

While Jihoon was glad his members, his staff, and himself were safe and only had mild symptoms for a few, he held immense relief that his soulmate was alright. There were some days over the past few months that he had anxiety bubble up in his chest at random times, how sometimes he had felt their worry but it didn’t last long from you.

It was funny how you had such a vast bank of emotions. While he did have many emotions, his own didn’t seem as deep as yours. While he worried, you had fear or anxiety pocketed with it. While he had excitement for comebacks and new music in general, when you felt excited, it was electrifying as if it was sparking him to life. He held partial envy concerning it. Your emotions alone reminded him of Seokmin, Soonyoung or even Minghao now, so emotionally mature to a point, so intune with their emotional expressions. It drove his music most days. 

Soonyoung actually made a list of some of their recent songs that had to do with the emotions he felt from his soulmate. Together was one from their recent album. It was inspired by the idea that one day he will walk on the same path with his soulmate and go through the hardships together. Jeonghan and Joshua had a field day making fun of him when they found out about Second Life . While he is someone who speaks comfortably with his brothers about how he feels and what runs through his head, he kept many of the feelings you subconsciously shared with him to himself. 

“ ...ung….Hyung…Woozi-Hyung.” Jihoon shook his head, sitting up from his slowly reclining position in his desk chair to look down at his ipad screen. 

“ Thank you for coming back to earth.” Mingyu snorted, starting to wiggle his eyebrows. “ Are they awake?” 

A few of them insisted on video chatting today since they had been so bored. It was a majority of the Maknae line that blessed his screen. At the question, snickers were heard through his speakers causing him to roll his eyes.

“ No, I was thinking about somethi-”

“Thinking about how in Loooooove you are with your soulmate.” Seokmin and Seungkwan hollard out with extra obnoxious energy. 

Closing his eyes, Jihoon took in one long breath, flattening his lips in his signature ‘bread face’. He held his breath in for a moment before opening his eyes and stared deadpan at the people on his screen. 

“ I know where you sleep.” 

“Hey hey, wow, six feet apart, Hyung, can’t have us getting sick again.” Seungkwan’s words flowed out quickly, holding a hand out towards his screen.

Jihoon’s expression went from flat to somewhat disgusted. Once again, he rolled his eyes.

“ We are already- You know what I’m not even going to attempt to argue this with you because you will just continue to make jokes.” 

From his point of view, he saw his bandmate’s faces light up in victory and grin wide. 

Glancing down at his wrist though, he traced his thumb over the dark numbers on his skin. He just needs to be patient. Just over two more years.

2022 

From all the hard work from the three of you and the rest of your team, you all had received decent bonuses and a healthy promotion for yourself, advancing up to an assistant manager position in the sector of the international business section of the company. You felt accomplished outside of it all. Your masters was finished, you were advancing in your job, and you felt genuinely happy. Your grandparents were still around, your friends only got closer, and you had on and off butterflies knowing that you were so close to meeting your soulmate. 

As you sat in your office, leaning back in the cushioned chair, you lazily read through some of the files you needed to get through by the end of the week. So far, you were ahead of schedule so you didn’t stress too much, however you wanted to just peek at the information you needed to know. It was a quiet Tuesday so far, nothing too serious popping out at you. 

Your soulmate had been up all night, they were jittery, both excited and nervous. It had been building for the past couple of days, but it was nothing too major until now. 

It was later in the work day for yourself, closer to 4:30. You were passively getting work done before you clocked out at five and went home. Somewhere on your organized mess of a desk, your phone vibrated, but you paid no mind to it, knowing you can check it later. Not long after, you hear hurried steps from down the hall thanks to your office door being open and the out of breath call of your name as Jamie bends over in the doorway. 

You sat up, dropping the files on the desk and standing up. 

“Hey, is everything alrig-”

“Just…” He heaved a breath in, “Check twitter now!” 

Confused, you were taken back when Kazuki appeared behind Jamie, eyes wide and absolutely beaming at you. You’ve seen him animated before, he was bounding on the balls of his feet. It didn’t dawn on you yet but as you picked up your phone and opened twitter, it hit you. 

Staring down at your phone, you laughed to the point tears bloomed in your eyes. 

“Oh my god. You both are ridiculous.” You leaned forward with your hand on your desk. Though tear hazed eyes, you shook your head, seeing the two standing just beyond your desk now, giddy and nearly childlike. The fancy suits only added to the comedic scene.

To be far, you didn’t expect Jamie and Kazu to actually take your bet as seriously as they did, but yeah. It happened. You owed them (and yourself) tickets to the Seventeen concert now. 

“Jamie, Kazu, we are going to see Seventeen!” 

In the first days of June, Jamie, Kazuki, and yourself sat shoulder to shoulder on your living room floor. Though it wasn’t ideal, the three of you took the day off in advance for this. Each of you unsurprisingly had the Weverse membership, but you sat early in the queue for the ticketmaster sales to go live for early access. Your laptop rested on the coffee table before you, taunting you. On September 6th of this year, the group will be performing in Newark, New Jersey. You had decided to go there instead of New York itself. 

Your body buzzed with excitement, hands shaking and unable to stop your leg from bouncing. Jamie was doom scrolling through twitter, Kazuki was attempting to focus on the video he was watching, but your eyes never left the computer screen. Over the last hour, you triple checked your credit card information and the amount of money in your account. Now you sat, listening to the idle words leaving Jamie’s lips when he found an amusing tweet. The words never processed in your head, melding together with the brainless thoughts. 

“You look ready to throw up.” Kazuki placed his arm around your shoulder, making you tense but let out a breath of relaxation after. 

Turning your gaze to him, physically you deflated. “Nervous energy is building up. I’m excited, dizzy, and a little stunned that we are sitting on the floor of my apartment sitting in early access queue for all this. I just want to get us good seats.” 

“Babes, no matter what seats you get us, you know we won’t mind.” Jamie now threw his arm over your shoulder from the other side, squishing you between them. “All I care about is us seeing them and you getting to meet your soulmate! Hopefully they are cute, and who knows,” He began to wiggle his eyebrows, “Maybe it’s your bias.” 

The look of pure disbelief at his words had both of them cackling. To be honest, it wasn’t like you didn’t think about it. Kazuki did make that joke when you started to bias Seungcheol, but you never took it seriously. That was some delulu shit. 

Returning your eyes to the computer screen, your heart dropped. You were in the proper queue. You voiced the change and suddenly the three of you were sitting forward. As the number slowly got closer to zero, your heart jumped to your throat as the floor plans appeared. 

Fast fingers work on the bluetooth mouse and keyboard, quickly finding open seats that nearly had you keeling over. Floor seats, front row just off center to the left from the extended stage. You took no time to secure the tickets, bated breaths praying you were able to get them in time. From past ticket sales along, you knew the competition was cutthroat to put it lightly. As you watched the screen load, you froze in awe. Before you on the screen were three confirmed seats for the concert, front row.

Jamie’s hand on your shoulder slowly traveled to your back and began patting slowly at first but turned into semi-hard slaps of elation. “YN, YN you got them!” He yelled in your ear, breaking your unblinking stare at the confirmed screen. Your phone buzzed with an email regarding the purchase and a copy of the tickets. 

You blinked once, twice, three times, then the tears just…started to fall from your eyes and you let out a high pitched squeal. The sounds that began to leave you were really coherent, rather babbling of unnecessary doubt about the situation. 

“Holy fuck!” You were finally able to form proper words. “I just spent over a thousand dollars for this, you better get me food and stuff for the rest of my life! Kiss the ground I work on! Worship me like a Goddess!” 

Standing up, you jumped around the room, unable to keep yourself still even for a moment, believing that if you stopped, you’d wake up from this dear. 

“We’ll need outfits, a hotel, take the time off to-” You rattled off necessary things, but Jamie laughed and wrapped his arms around you, jumping in a circle. 

“One step at a time! I’ll make sure everything gets in order for this.” He placed the fattest, wettest kiss on your cheek. Half gagging as a joke, you push him away and snort.

It was going to be a night you will never forget for sure. 

“ I’m telling you hyung, they have to be a carat. No one can be that restless on a weekday and the time matches up with-.” It was the third time Jihoon said something similar to that in the last hour. 

Sitting in his studio, the animated energy that his soulmate pushed through to him was keeping him up. To no one’s surprise, Seungcheol and Soonyoung were lazing around on the couch on their phones, however it was nearing 4 in the morning. 

“ Jihoonie, if you repeat yourself one more time, I’m going to kick you out of your own studio.” Seungcheol dropped the arm holding his phone over his head, huffing before he continued. “ Take a chill pill and breathe. ” 

Turning around in his chair, Jihoon physically deflated despite the curiosity he held within himself. Beside the leader, Soonyoung hit his arm gently against the former’s chest. “ Leave him alone, let him be a love sick puppy and believe his soulmate is a carat. ” 

“ Yah, I’m not a love sick puppy-” 

“Yes you are.” His counterparts retaliated. Soonyoung continued sitting up to look level with Jihoon, “ For a guy that doesn’t want to talk about their soulmate much because you want to keep their emotions private, you sure do talk about them a lot.”

As he was about to counter argue the point, a tightness formed in his chest. The excitement he felt turned into pure unfiltered adrenaline. The sudden rush of emotions had him dizzy, using his elbows on his knees to hold his head up. That adrenaline only lasted moments before a bloom of bliss washed through his limbs. Soonyoung was kneeling in front of him when he came down from the shared high, shaking his head to clear the fog that was forming. It was like they had dipped themselves in euphoria and were riding out the glee. 

“ Tickets just went on sale in the US, right? ” Jihoon asked, giving no explanation to his friends, but Seungcheol gave him confirmation nonetheless. 

Soonyoung frowned, eyebrows knitting together as he sat back on the small ointment pushed against the wall behind his desk. 

“ I’m probably right by the way, assholes.” 

Scoffing in disbelief, the three shared a laugh. 

This year was going to be interesting.

[madamepestilence]

H5N1: What to know before fear spreads

What is H5N1?

H5N1 is a 1996 strain of the Spanish or Avian Flu first detected in Chinese birds before spreading globally across various avian species. H5N1 is similar to H1N1, but spreads slower and has a much higher mortality rate.

H5N1 may also be referred to as Influenza A. The American Association of Bovine Practitioners has seen fit to rename H5N1 to Bovine Influenza A Virus, or BIAV, and are encouraging others to use the same terminology.

I would not be surprised if the colloquial name among the public becomes Bovine Flu or American Flu in the coming months, and may be referred to as the Chinese Flu by the same folks who took the spark of the SARS-CoV-2 (COVID-19) pandemic as an excuse to be publicly racist to East Asian people without social repercussions.

BIAV is a virus, meaning that it is a (probably) non-living packet of self-replicating infectious material with a high rate of mutation. BIAV is structured similarly to SARS-CoV-2, having a packet of infectious material encased in a spherical shell with a corona, or crown, of proteins that can latch to living cells to inject RNA.

Image source with interactive model: ViralZone - H5N1 subtype

What is the history of BIAV?

In 1996 and 1997, an outbreak of BIAV occurred among poultry and infected 18 people in Hong Kong, 6 of which died. This seemingly isolated incident then infected ~860 people with a >50% death rate.

At the time, BIAV was known as Highly Pathogenic Avian Influenza, or HPAI, and killed nearly 100% of chickens within a 48 hour period.

From 2003 to 2005, continual outbreaks occurred in China and other East Asian countries, before spreading to Cambodia, the Netherlands, Thailand, and Vietnam.

From 2014 to 2016, it began being detected in American fowl, as well as mutating the H5N6 (lethal in birds, no human to human transmission) and H5N8 (largely spread through turkeys, ducks had immunity) viruses.

BIAV has since evolved into a clade known as 2.3.4.4b, and was first detected in 2021 in wild American birds. This then caused outbreaks in 2022 among wild and domesticated birds (such as chickens) alike, but was largely being overshadowed by the pressing SARS-CoV-2 pandemic at the time.

From 2022 to 2023, it was observed to be spreading among various mammals, including humans. Now, in 2024, we're having the most concerning rapid outbreak of BIAV since 2003.

BIAV is known to spread from mammal to mammal, particularly between cows and humans. BIAV may also be spread from cow to cow (highly likely, but not confirmed - this is likely the reason the virus has spread to Idaho from Texan cattle), and is known to be lethal to domestic cats and birds within 48 hours.

How does BIAV spread?

BIAV spreads through fomites - direct contact with infected animals or infected surfaces and then touching parts of your face or other orifices - as well as through airborne particulates, which may be inhaled and enter the sinuses and lungs.

BIAV is known to spread through:

Asymptomatic Ducks, geese, swans, various shorebirds

Symptomatic, may be lethal Foxes, bears, seals, sea lions, polar bears, domestic cats, dogs, minks, goats, cows, (potentially human to human, but unconfirmed - there have only been 8 potential human to human cases in 2024).

How can I protect against BIAV?

As BIAV is a type of Influenza A, existing protocols should do fine.

Current recommendations are to wash your hands vigorously after interacting with birds (I would also recommend doing this with mammals), avoid touching your face or other open orifices, and wear N95 masks.

Avoid sick or dead animals entirely - I would also recommend reporting them to your local Animal Control or veterinary centre and warning them about the infection risk. People who work with animals are recommended to also wear full PPE such as N95 masks, eye protection, gloves, and partake in vigorous hand washing.

If you suspect you've caught BIAV, seek medical attention immediately. Existing medications such as oseltamivir phosphate, zanamivir, peramivir, and baloxavir marboxil can reduce BIAV's ability to replicate.

Standard flu shots will not protect against BIAV. Remember - symptoms of BIAV may not manifest for between 2 to 8 days, and potentially infected people should be monitored for at least 10 days.

How far has BIAV spread?

BIAV is currently a global virus, though the current infection location of note is the United States.

Image Key: Dark red - Countries with humans, poultry and wild birds killed by H5N1 Deep red - Countries with poultry or wild birds killed by H5N1 and has reported human cases of H5N1 Light red - Countries with poultry or wild birds killed by H5N1

Image source: Wikipedia - Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 - File: Global spread of H5N1 map

Image source: Metro.co.uk - Map shows where bird flu is spreading in US amid new warning - File: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s H5N1 bird flu detections map across the United States

Should I be afraid?

You needn't be afraid, just prepared. BIAV has a concerningly high lethality, but this ironically culls its spread somewhat.

In the event human to human transmission of BIAV is confirmed, this will likely mainly affect marginalized communities, poor people, and homeless people, who are likely to have less access to medical care, and a higher likelihood of working in jobs that require frequent close human contact, such as fast food or retail jobs.

Given the response to SARS-CoV-2, corporations - and probably the government - may shove a proper response under the rug and refuse to participate in a full quarantine, which may leave people forced to go to work in dangerous conditions.

If this does spread into an epidemic or pandemic, given our extensive knowledge about Influenza, and the US having a backup vaccine for a prior strain of H5N1, a vaccine should be able to be developed relatively quickly and would hopefully be deployed freely without charge - we won't have to worry about a situation like The Stand.

Wash your hands, keep clean, avoid large social gatherings where possible, wear an N95 mask if you can afford them (Remember: Cloth masks are the least protective, but are better than nothing. If you can't afford N95 masks, I recommend wearing a well-fitted cloth mask with a disposable face mask over it to prevent pneumonia from moisture buildup in the disposable mask), support the disabled, poor, and homeless, and stay educated.

We can do better this time.

Further things to check out:

YouTube: MedCram - H5N1 Cattle Outbreak: Background and Currently Known Facts (ft. Roger Seheult, M.D.)

Wikipedia - Influenza A virus subtype H5N1

Maine.gov - Avian Influenza and People

CDC.gov - Technical Report: Highly Pathogenic Avian Influenza A(H5N1) Viruses

Wikipedia - H5N1 genetic structure

realagriculture - Influenza infection in cattle gets new name: Bovine Influenza A Virus (BIAV)

[edwardseymour]

Is Jane Seymour afraid of the plague?

✨ terfs/zionists fuck off ✨

yes, this is one of the few personal details we have about jane. of course, i imagine many people had a fear of plague and pandemic, but as we have learned from covid-19, not everyone takes it seriously or fears it. with that in mind, i think it’s worth acknowledging the references to jane’s fear, suggesting it was, perhaps, exceptional enough to comment on. as norton writes: “jane’s terror of the plague was well known”.

during an outbreak of the sweating sickness in 1537, a pregnant jane went into quarantine and she and henry remained isolated. when he went on progress in july, jane remained at windsor, “shutting herself up in seclusion in order to protect herself against the plague” (norton): “the king and the queen and the household to windsor, […] thence, the king apart”. there, she seems to have been minimising contact with people, as a letter from arthur lowe suggests she was isolating and reducing the size of her household: “i desired licence of the queen [to leave to meet with cromwell], but her grace willed me to send her messenger, as she had no more chaplains but me and one other”.

when a member of cromwell’s household came down with the sweating sickness, john russell reported “i perceived the queen was afraid. his majesty answered that the queen is somewhat afraid”, and thus henry, “anxious to calm jane, insisted that the minister [cromwell] stayed away” (norton). likewise, “when lady rutland was quarantined at enfield after a member of her household contracted the disease, lady lisle was informed that ‘your ladyship will not believe how fearful the queen’s grace is of the sickness’” (norton).

all this would have also been in service of protecting jane’s unborn child, but it is worth recognising that jane was evidently unsettled enough to elicit reactions. lisle’s comments, that rutland ‘would not believe how fearful’ jane was, implies she was badly frightened, while russell’s (as well as henry’s continuing on progress) suggests that henry was not as afraid as jane was. we can speculate that jane’s experiences of losing several siblings to presumably illness and living through previous outbreaks of the sweating sickness might have triggered the fear she was reported to experience. additionally, norton makes the point that jane was pregnant at this point, and that might have put additional pressure on her and her body.

nothing more is said of it, however. jane would travel to hampton court and go into seclusion in preparation for her lying-in in september, and she would die there the following month.

[simplykorra]

What do you think Ava and Bea’s covid-19 lockdown would look like? Wht would they be up to, together in an apartment for a few months?

Ava is absolutely the kind of person who would start a new hobby or life goal or something every few weeks.

At some point she starts collecting plants and fills up a corner of the apartment with them - but eventually gets distracted by her next hobby which is painting or something creative and it's Beatrice who ends up taking care of the plants

I also think Beatrice would be the type to constantly move furniture around to try and mix things up - also she's very into routine so Beatrice starts to develop a really tight schedule - except it gets too tight and she starts to feel a little stagnant and ends up actually struggling quite a bit with being isolated, more than Ava who can kind of adapt and also grew up being stuck in one spot so she knows how to entertain herself

This leads to Ava taking the time to help Bea open up a bit and let her schedules go, take in as many little freedoms around the house as she can

They take turns doing the shopping, it's another one of those things where Beatrice is very efficient and sticks to the list and Ava tends to get a little reckless with it and brings home a bunch of crazy new stuff to try - at first Bea isn't a fan of it, but eventually gives in because it keeps their days interesting

Also they both have issues sleeping because their bedroom gets kind of stagnant, so they start sleeping all over the apartment. Bringing a stack of blankets with them to the kitchen and the living room, spending one night all bundled up together in the bathroom and even a night on their tiny little balcony that Ava almost falls off of when she wakes up

[lookingfornoonat2pm]

One of the things that has been fucking me up the most about Aaron Bushnell's self-immolation is how much I connect to it.

And I want to say that what follows is not meant as a correct take. It is not meant as an opinion or a corrective or as advice or even as wisdom. It may even be outright and absolutely negative. But it must be said, and I must say it.

During the height of the Covid-19 Pandemic, as I was working in total isolation as a mental health professional, I thought about self-immolation a non-trivial amount. I thought about going to the CDC headquarters and lighting myself on fire as a protest against privatized medicine. The failure to provide free healthcare during the pandemic is, to me, one of the most monumental failures of our government, and of our society, in my lifetime. It is a failure to which I feel deeply connected. As a disabled person, as a professional, and as a child of a mother and a brother of a brother, my body and heart scream from the pain of knowing that all of us are alone when we are in ill health. I fantasized that my death could provide a flashpoint around which there could be a rallying cry for meaningful change.

I was also deeply afraid and alone, as so many of us were during the years from 2020 to 2023. Such fantasies, as they often do for the suicidal, offered a fantasy of escape and of righteousness when I worked as part of an indefensible system.

Even writing about this feels like spitting on the cause of Palestinian liberation and of the end of Israel's genocide against the Palestinian people--because I am making a post about myself and about my own experiences.

But what compels me to write all of this is that, as a mental health professional, I cannot stomach the idea that we are all just going to write Aaron Bushnell off as "sick" or "unwell." I'm not even convinced it is proper to call his death a suicide, in the sense we use to refer the terminal ends of depression and despair. We must be able to think and to write and to understand spiritual and political life outside and beyond the medical or the clinical or the merely pleasurable or painful.

We MUST be able to acknowledge the truth of sacrifice. People really do sacrifice for things that are greater than themselves, and such sacrifices are not sick, or wrong, or delusional.

The irony of my demand for universal healthcare coming along with my demand to take seriously the human being beyond the medical is not lost on me. But the contradiction is only apparent. Below both of these--the call for a political and spiritual life beyond the medical or the financial, AND the demand for the provision of the human right to medical care--is a profound belief in the absolute dignity of the free human person. And it is in fact the ongoing war machine, of which the Israeli genocide is a part, that is the other side of the machine which denies me and my clients and my fellow citizens a meaningfully free social world.

If you see Aaron Bushnell's death, and the people who acknowledge and honor his martyrdom, and think that this somehow justifies your own suicidal ideas or fantasies, I beg you to reconsider. If you see Aaron Bushnell's death, and think that the best thing you can do is die for a noble cause, I beg you to think about how much more your living body can do than your dead body can. But I cannot and I will not accept the idea that we must think of sacrifice as meaningless. Aaron Bushnell did not die for nothing, and I, and millions of people like me, will see to it that he did not.

[realjaysumlin]

DNA ancestry tests — and their many caveats — explained - Vox

At the beginning of the week I posted the difference between ancestry DNA testing compared to having your whole genome sequenced is different because ancestry DNA only goes so far in the history of a family unlike genome sequencing that goes back when we were a single cell organism in water.

So many of us as we grow older our genes become damaged due to dieting and diseases; along with other factors that can change our DNA over time. People who came in contact with COVID-19 may have changed their DNA compared to the people who didn't.

If someone is isolated from others our immune system changes over time depending on how long we are isolated from others or for someone who doesn't travel and have sex between other populations worldwide and if they reproduce a child the intermixing between the female and male started a new line of DNA and this has nothing to do with skin colors as so many people believe.

Two dark skin humans worldwide can reproduce every ethnicity on earth like we have done throughout human history because dark skin humans were the first people to branch out across the world and many remained isolated from someone who never left Africa.

This is how genetics work and not by the social construct of races based on skin colors. This is why I hate the words mixed or biracial because the same can be said if a Black African Woman has a child with a Black American Man they both have dark skin but their child now has mixed genes.

This is the same with two light skin humans who lived outside of their place of origin. This is what's wrong with the stupid idea of whiteness because they may look alike on the outside but they are as different as night and day.

[mariacallous]

Immigration is one of the most important topics in this presidential election cycle. Former President Trump has promised to conduct a massive deportation effort that would remove millions of people per year. The latest statistics show about 11 million unauthorized immigrants are living in the U.S., and several million more people have arrived in the past two years on parole or with an uncertain legal future. Would a mass deportation effort improve the U.S. economy and provide more jobs for U.S.-born workers? Recent, rigorous economics research sheds light on the consequences of increasing the number of deportations on the U.S. labor market. This research consistently points to deportations hurting the U.S. labor market and leading to worse labor market outcomes for U.S.-born workers.

Landscape of deportations in the US

A deportation is a mandatory departure of a noncitizen out of the U.S. based on a formal order of removal. Official estimates of the cost of deportations are scarce but the best estimates suggest that each deportation costs about $13,000 in current dollars.

There has been a dramatic increase in the number of deportations in the U.S. in the last few decades. Deportations, including removals at the border and those from the interior, increased from about 200,000 per year in the early 2000s to 400,000 per year in the late 2000s. Deportations were then steady at about 300,000 per year until the COVID-19 pandemic. Since the pandemic, deportations of long-term residents have fallen, but other types of removals from the U.S. increased, especially at the border.

A real-world test of the effects of deportation

To isolate the causal effects of deportations on the economy, economists study the rollout of an immigration enforcement policy called Secure Communities (SC). The Secure Communities program increased information sharing between local law enforcement agencies and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) with the express purpose to identify and deport people who were in the U.S. without authorization. About 400,000 people were deported under SC between 2008 and 2014, after which SC was replaced with the Priority Enforcement Program (PEP). While the first counties implemented SC in 2008, it was implemented county by county with the last counties implementing the program in 2013. The timing of enactment was based on how close the counties were to ICE offices and how quickly the technology could be set up in a county. Bottlenecks in implementation meant some counties were put on waitlists. Because of this, the exact timing of when a county implemented SC was out of their direct control, and counties that adopted the program early compared to late are otherwise very similar. Thus, researchers can compare the labor market outcomes in counties that implemented SC earlier compared to later.

While only people who were arrested had their immigration status checked under SC, the policy nonetheless impacted a large portion of immigrants. There were broad “chilling effects” of the policy that meant even people not targeted for deportation became fearful of leaving their house to do routine things like go to work. This is partly because the program did not only target serious criminals—the most serious criminal conviction for 79% of those deported was non-violent, including traffic violations and immigration offenses, and another 17% were not convicted of any crime.  

Increased deportation is associated with poorer economic outcomes for US-born workers 

Across multiple studies, economists have found that once SC is implemented, the number of foreign-born workers in that county declines and the employment rate among U.S.-born workers also declines. My research with Annie Hines, Philip Luck, Hani Mansour, and Andrea Velásquez finds that when half a million immigrants are removed from the labor market because of enforcement (due to deportations and indirectly due to chilling effects), this reduces the number of U.S.-born people working by 44,000.

Why do deportations hurt the economic outcomes of U.S.-born workers? The prevailing view used to be that foreign-born and U.S.-born workers are substitutes, meaning that when one foreign-born worker takes a job, there is one less job for a U.S.-born worker. But economists have now shown several reasons why the economy is not a zero-sum game: because unauthorized immigrants work in different occupations from the U.S.-born, because they create demand for goods and services, and because they contribute to the long-run fiscal health of the country.

First, unauthorized immigrant workers and U.S.-born workers work in different types of jobs. Figure 1 shows the percentage of unauthorized immigrant workers, authorized immigrant workers, and U.S.-born workers that are in each of the 15 most common occupations among unauthorized immigrants.

It is clear that unauthorized immigrants take low-paying, dangerous and otherwise less attractive jobs more frequently than both U.S.-born workers and authorized immigrant workers. For example, almost 6% of unauthorized immigrants work as housekeepers, construction laborers, or cooks, compared to about 2% of authorized immigrant workers and 1% of U.S.-born workers (See Figure 1).

Occupations common among unauthorized workers, such as construction laborers and cooks, are essential to keep businesses operating. Deporting workers in these jobs affects U.S.-born workers too. For example, when construction companies have a sudden reduction in available laborers, they must reduce the number of construction site managers they hire. Similarly, local restaurants need cooks to stay open and hire for other positions like waiters, which are more likely to be filled by U.S.-born workers.

Caregiving and household service jobs are also common among unauthorized immigrants. The availability and cost of these services in the private market greatly impacts whether people can work outside the home. My research with Andrea Velásquez and new research by Umair Ali, Jessica Brown and Chris Herbst find that Secure Communities impacted the childcare market—the supply of childcare workers fell. This led to a reduction in the number of college-educated mothers with young children working in the formal labor market.

Several recent Brookings pieces have highlighted the role that immigrants play in caregiving jobs, which are becoming increasingly important as the U.S. population ages. These pieces call for increasing the number of legal pathways for immigrants willing to work in these types of jobs to come to the U.S.

Another important way in which immigrants help create jobs for U.S.-born workers is that unauthorized immigrants contribute to local demand for goods and services like haircuts, food, and cars. This means deportations lead to less revenue for local barber shops, grocery stores, and auto dealerships, causing them to hire fewer workers, including U.S.-born workers.

Finally, deportations impact tax revenue and the fiscal health of the federal, state, and local governments. A comprehensive study by the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine found that, in a given year, each foreign-born person and their dependents pay on average $1,300 more in federal taxes than they receive in federal benefits, and, looking over a 75-year time horizon, immigrants are a net fiscal positive at all levels—they pay $237,000 more in taxes over their lifetime than they receive in benefits from federal, state, and local governments. While these estimates are not broken out by immigration status, the study indicates that the net fiscal impacts of unauthorized immigrants are larger than authorized immigrants because unauthorized immigrants are more likely to be of working age. Thus, deportations reduce tax revenue both because of a reduction in taxes paid by unauthorized immigrants, and through a reduction in taxes paid by U.S.-born workers who lose their jobs.  Unauthorized immigrants and their children also facilitate the solvency of the Social Security and Medicare systems by paying into these systems when they are not eligible to receive any benefits.

Implications for policy

Immigration law has not been comprehensively updated for 34 years and as a result is designed for an outdated labor market and an outdated demographic reality.  With so much political discussion about immigration this year, it’s important to understand the role of unauthorized immigrant workers in the U.S. economy. Recent economics research shows that unauthorized immigrant workers help to create more jobs for U.S.-born workers. Large-scale deportation efforts would be very disruptive in some industries and would hamstring the current growth in employment, which has been driven in large part by increased immigration. Instead, Congress should set its sights on reform and expansions in legal immigration pathways.

[covid-safer-hotties]

By Michael T. Kelly

On June 12, New York Gov. Kathy Hochul expressed support for a mask ban on subways and at protests while other politicians in New York City, Los Angeles and North Carolina are considering or have already passed laws that ban masks in public spaces. Disability, civil liberties and other activists have raised alarm regarding how mask bans, even with formal exemptions for health and religious reasons, offer no guarantee of fair enforcement and can stigmatize masking in general during an ongoing pandemic. This said, I argue that we should oppose mask bans due to two vital functions.

Firstly, banning masks will enable easier surveillance of oppressed groups. Surveillance technology to catch protesters has increased around the world in light of the visible outpouring of support for the pro-Palestine movement. Additionally, activists have used masks to protect themselves from repression, surveillance and doxing by right-wing provocateurs.

To quell campus movements, police and administrators have threatened protesters in Florida, Ohio and Texas with arrest for wearing masks. Students at several colleges face code of conduct charges for pro-Palestine protests, and there has been explicit targeting on prospects for future employment and student loan forgiveness. Indeed, these acts are consistent with the United States’ long record of state surveillance against Black, Indigenous, civil rights and anti-imperialist groups.

Secondly, mask bans downplay COVID-19 and thus avoid its social and political lessons. COVID-19 has been a world health crisis, taking the lives of at least seven million people globally and 1.2 million people in the U.S. COVID infections have risen in 38 states this summer, and some hospitals and venues have even reinstated mask mandates. Long COVID remains a widespread illness, affecting 6.8% of U.S. adults with fatigue, blood clots, lung, heart and neurological issues.

The first lesson of COVID some politicians are eager to bury is that combatting a contagious, airborne respiratory virus is inherently collective and interdependent. It requires a state-directed public health response. Discourses of individual responsibility, “choice” or risk assessment are ill-suited: Is the choice to not mask based on accurate information? Does this choice impinge on other people’s freedom to inhabit public space? Would a mandate affirm a social right to protect oneself and others from illness and make spaces more accessible?

While many people in the U.S. may have had COVID and been asymptomatic or recovered, this is simply not the case for many immunocompromised people, who have suffered isolation, hospitalization and death at significantly higher rates. As disability justice authors have long pointed out, people with disabilities always face the burden of adjusting their lives against an assumed, ableist normal. No assurance of masking effectively endangers many immunocompromised and high-risk people. Under the social model of disability, institutional neglect to enforce COVID mitigation is what creates disability as a form of social oppression.

The activist movements some politicians now condemn have led the way in public health practice. Participants at the Columbia University student encampment wore masks, while people with disabilities and activists have engaged in education and tough conversations regarding the importance of masking, even in leftist spaces.

Also, because COVID is a world-scale problem, it requires international cooperation that would weaken U.S. military, economic and geopolitical hegemony. In 2020, the U.S. and European Union blocked a proposal at the World Trade Organization to waive intellectual property (IP) protections so Global South nations could begin building productive capacity for vaccines and medical technology. Intellectual property regimes and patents have been a mainstay of U.S. policy since World War II through trade agreements and multilateral banking institutions like the International Monetary Fund and World Bank. Patent holders can hoard technology and resources that Global South nations might otherwise access freely or more cheaply. This financial power allows the U.S. to impose unilateral economic sanctions on official enemy states – Venezuela, Iran, Syria, North Korea, Nicaragua and Zimbabwe – which block medicine, food and technology, harming the population. Moves away from masking and COVID awareness further downplay the ongoing urgency to end IP and sanctions regimes for the sake of global public health.

Thus, structural changes to U.S. society are needed to address the underlying social conditions that spread illness. We can learn from the 1951 Civil Rights Congress’ We Charge Genocide petition that defined genocide as the “willful creation of conditions making for premature death, poverty and disease.”

On housing, failure to extend eviction moratoria in 2021 – a gift to landlords and real estate capital who treat homes as financial assets or sources of rent revenue – led to over 10,000 additional deaths. On criminal justice, there were calls to decarcerate as prisons are incubators of COVID, and continue questioning the social function of prisons at all. On employment, vulnerability to COVID in the workplace helped catalyze a wave of labor organizing. By downplaying COVID and banning masks, its most visible reminder, politicians help bury these important lessons.

Universities remind students and staff that their policies are consistent with county, state and CDC legal guidelines. But adherence to the U.S. Government’s public health orders is not sufficient when laws are inadequate or unjust. We can and should define our own ethos around disability, national and social liberation. Mask mandates, political education on who is vulnerable as well as public health measures to provide masks can enlist, educate and organize people toward that political project. Legislation that does not protect the vulnerable needs opposition. People should be enabled and encouraged to think for themselves when it comes to contemplating the extent to which lawmakers have the responsibility to protect their constituency.

[ruthfeiertag]

The White House just announced that President Biden has contacted COVID. I wish him a speedy and complete recovery. Because the President has been fully vaccinated (and because he has access to levels of health care few of the rest of us enjoy), he is likely to be well again soon. But even a mild or asymptomatic case can lead to Long-COVID, and we should be protecting ourselves and each other from catching this corona virus and possibly developing a permanent, debilitating condition.

Apoorva Mandavilli, writing for the _New YorkTimes_, reminds us that “for some people with certain risk factors — age, pregnancy, chronic conditions or a compromised immune system — an infection may bring serious illness.”1

If you want to know what it’s like to live with a post-viral chronic illness, read the Tumblrs of people enduring them (see the tags below), particularly those of us living with myalgic encephalomyelitis (me/cfs), the condition closely aligned with Long-COVID. (“The illness [Long COVID] is similar to myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome [ME/CFS] as well as to persisting illnesses that can follow a wide variety of other infectious agents and following major traumatic injury.”2) And while some of us are more susceptible than others, ANYONE, no matter how young and healthy, can develop Long-haul COVID:

“Long COVID occurs more often in people who had severe COVID-19 illness, but anyone who gets COVID-19 can experience it, including children.”3

The CDC article also highlights the way that “Living with Long COVID can be difficult and isolating, especially when there are no immediate answers or solutions.” It does not describe the devastating possible “side effects” of losing the ability to work, to enjoy activities, to be independent, nor of the experiences of having doctors refuse to believe one’s condition is real, of the near-impossibility of getting to a doctor who specializes in post-viral diseases (and who won’t accept insurance)4, nor of the feeling of being an inconvenience or burden to those who care for us.

“In every age group, even a mild illness may trigger a lasting set of problems. Nearly 14 million Americans, or about 5.3 percent of adults, may now be living with long Covid, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.”1

Wearing an N95 might not be the most comfortable fashion accessory, but putting one on when we will be among others can save lives and the meaningful existence of the people with whom we come in contact. The inconvenience is far less than the loss of income, health, and happiness Long-COVID can bring.

************************

1. Apoorva Mandavilli. “Long Covid and Vaccination: What You Need to Know,” _New York Times_, July 17, 2024, 6:03 p.m. ET

https://www.nytimes.com/article/long-covid-vaccine.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare&sgrp=c-cb

2. Anthony L. Komaroff and W. Ian Lipkin. “ME/CFS and Long COVID share similar symptoms and biological abnormalities: road map to the literature,” Front Med (Lausanne). 2023; 10: 1187163. Published online 2023 Jun 2. doi: 10.3389/fmed.2023.1187163

PMCID: PMC10278546PMID: 37342500

3. https://www.cdc.gov/covid/long-term-effects/?CDC_AAref_Val=https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/long-term-effects/index.html

4. “There are only a handful of specialists and clinical centers that specialize in ME/CFS around the country. Many of them do not take insurance and most have waiting lists that can be years long.” https://solvecfs.org/me-cfs-long-covid/patient-and-caregiver-resources/

[stonerzines]

Hi hi hi!

I’m one of the founders/creators and current co-organiser of the SAD Fair! We’ve grown a lot in the past 4 years and I’m so honored every day to see what kind of community we’ve built where we can celebrate and financially support disabled artists around the world. We are one of the first, if not *the* first zine fest/craft fair to go completely virtual, and we’re staying that way! Here’s a bit about us:

The Sick And Disabled Zine & Craft Fair (SAD Fair) is a grassroots week-long virtual craft fair centering disabled, chronically ill, MAD, and neurodivergent zinesters and artists from around the world. Now in its fourth year, this access-centered zine and craft fair will feature free live events, workshops, virtual "tables", and a virtual sensory room. This event is open to ALL! Allies are welcomed and encouraged to attend!

This fair is for people to display their work and build community, in a space that pushes back against popular narratives of illness and disability being inspirational or sad. The fair is free to attend, with free crafting and learning opportunities, as well as plenty of low cost zines and art to buy.

Our project is rooted in revolutionary love and need for community care, representation, and art. As sick and disabled queer and trans people, art is how we have explored our lives in a society that tells us we are inferior, especially as we go into the fourth year of a global pandemic that disproportionately impacts the sick and disabled community.

Many of us have been excluded from in-person craft fairs due to inaccessibility and inadequate COVID-19 safety measures. Our experiences are unique but not isolated, and our ability to find connections through art is what motivates us to pursue projects like this zine and craft fair.

Anyway, come check out the Fair this year! We are going to have so many amazing vendors and I’m so so proud to be continuously involved in this project. Also vendor applications are currently open, as well as workshop host applications!

You can also support the Fair financially if you have the means by ko-fi (link), PayPal (sadzcfair@gmail.com), GoFundMe (link), or venmo (@stonerzines with “SAD Fair” in the notes). Just because it’s virtual doesn’t mean it’s cheap 😅

[illnessfaker]

this isn't really me making a political statement it's just a personal vent about covid-19 masking stuff fyi

i get the logic of masking not doing much if you're still going to big events like concerts but at the same time as a disabled/sickperson i've spent the 1st portion of my entire life in involuntary isolation from connection and community - while i am obviously massively privileged for having the option in the 1st place bc even though i am technically high-risk & already ill/crippled i'm aware that there are ppl for whom the risk would be much greater to the point they couldn't afford to take it - i would actually probably go absolutely insane (if not ending up killing myself) if i didn't take every opportunity i could to like...interface with the rest of society

other disabled ppl talk about how quarantine was how many of us were already forced to live, and they're right! but i can't live that way anymore bc the last couple years had me convinced i was verging on psychosis & i haven't had much of anything at all to balance that out

i'm not saying concerts and big events are necessary for people's mental stability or whatever, i'm talking about myself and my personal situation and what little options i have for not being socially isolated

i think making a point of "if you have the means and resources for travel and going out a lot you should put some of that towards community care" is fair but that doesn't apply to me because i'm not one of the people with those means/resources, i just get taken along

also someone tried framing going to a pride parade (masked) as more ethical than going to a concert (masked) and i'm sorry i get the logic but i think that's morally inconsistent bc the nature of what the thing is doesn't change the potential for spreading a disease

[reality-detective]

The circus is exhausting, the performances never cease and on top of it they keep getting more intensely bizarre. A lot of it is mere distraction; look over here! Now look over there! Whilst behind the scenes who knows what is really going on.

A lot of the stories coming out now are old news to some of us; David Martin more than a year ago already exposed the NIH funding of gain of function at the Wuhan lab, naming names and exposing the money trail, but it is only now that it’s hit MSM headlines, with an emphasis on blaming China.

To be honest with you, the real question is, was there even a virus? (Bear with me, don’t freak out).How can we be so sure when it’s not been proven to exist? How can we talk of lab leaks or gain of function of something that to this day still remains a ‘ghost’? A set of fragments assembled by a computer model and labelled Sars Cov-2.

I know many of you think that even questioning its existence is madness, I get it, after three years of brainwashing us about it, it seems ludicrous to contemplate the possibility that yet again we were deceived, but in the aftermath of 9/11 nobody would have put into question what we thought our eyes had seen, but what exactly did we see?

It was Louis Pasteur who convinced a skeptical medical community that contagious germs cause disease; his “germ theory” now serves as the official explanation for most illness. However, in his private diaries he states unequivocally that in his entire career he was not once able to transfer disease with a pure culture of bacteria. He admitted that the whole effort to prove contagion, was a failure, leading to his famous death bed confession that “the germ is nothing, the terrain is everything.” 

While the incidence and death statistics for COVID-19 may not be reliable, there is no question that many people were taken ill with a strange new disease—with odd symptoms like gasping for air and “fizzing” feelings as hundreds of thousands died.

Many suspect that the cause is not viral but a kind of pollution unique to the modern age—electromagnetic pollution. Today we are surrounded by a jangle of overlapping and jarring frequencies—from power lines to the fridge to the cell phone. The most recent addition to this disturbing racket is fifth generation wireless—5G.

On September 26, 2019, 5G wireless was turned on in Wuhan, China (and officially launched November 1) with a grid of about ten thousand antennas—more antennas than exist in the whole United States, all concentrated in one city. A spike in cases occurred on February 13, the same week that Wuhan turned on its 5G network for monitoring traffic. Illness subsequently followed 5G installation in all the major cities in America.

Since the dawn of the human race, medicine men and physicians have wondered about the cause of disease, especially what we call “contagions,” numerous people ill with similar symptoms, all at the same time.

Do we catch the illness from others or from some outside influence? Could some RNA fragments, which cannot even be defined as a living organism, cause such havoc? Perhaps something else is involved—something that has upset the balance of nature and made us more susceptible to disease? Perhaps there is no “coronavirus” at all; perhaps, as Pasteur said, “the germ is nothing, the terrain is everything.” 

I don’t have the answer, but as I lie in bed with what we refer to as the ‘flu’, (or is just a detox process?), I cannot help but wonder about all the possibilities.

We have been deceived many times about many things. Keeping us in perpetual fear of deadly viruses which seems like a very convenient tactic for those that wish to totally control us, this in itself, is enough to make my cynical mind open to exploring all the probabilities.

I look forward to the day when I actually understand what exactly causes us to feel like we're sick, is it really a virus or frequencies being used in a nefarious way⁉️

Additional Note: 👇

The virus has never been isolated by anyone including NIH or the CDC. However there was a virologist who took 1500 test samples who tried isolating the virus and all 1500 tests turned out to be influenza A and influenza B, most were influenza A.

I'm just asking a lot of questions which is what everyone should be doing. 🤔

[moscarific]

This weekend, I got to attend the first @confabcon held in person since 2019. I had drifted away from the online-only cons partially because of scheduling and partially because 3 long days on Zoom is more than my back and my ADHD can handle. This weekend, everyone present agreed that there's no real online substitute for gathering physically with other fans who have a similar approach to fandom, especially since almost all other fannish interaction takes place online. An in-person con lets you be fannish out loud in a way that's almost never possible. It's also a reminder that other people in fandom are just folks with lives and jobs, which makes me feel far less alone in the universe. At a time when the news is making me feel even more isolated from much of humanity than usual, I really needed that feeling of solidarity and community.

Although my schedule will never stop being a mess that gets in the way of fun, Confab is an easy annual commitment to attempt, because it will always take place in Chicago, a short and painless drive away. I got to drive with a passenger for most of the weekend, and build a new friendship with them along the way. (Username redacted to protect privacy - not sure if you're comfortable having your location shared - but you know who you are, and you are very cool.)

The con was as COVID-19 safe as an in-person event could be, with masks and proof of vaccination required, air filters in every room, and many participants testing daily throughout the event. I know it's hard to enforce these rules at larger cons, but that's why I won't be attending larger cons anytime soon.

So I have a bunch of new mutuals who I'm fairly certain are real humans and not bots. This is exciting! You're here just in time for figure skating season; I probably should have warned you that the Grand Prix series is six weeks of gif dumps. There will also be a lot of cat photos and Star Trek. I tag for easy keyword blocking.

I also got to teach a bunch of people how to make cocktails and plan his-and-his custom drinks for Stede Bonnet and Edward Teach, which was maybe a bucket list accomplishment. There will be pics and recipes after some shopping and taste testing.

I'm so grateful for this fabulous weekend, and I already can't wait for next year!