#How to be a Serial Killer

[weepingtalecowboy]

Immortal shadow au

Fanfic prompt: Shadow is a demon while four is just a mortal hylian

It is likely that he would outlive four several times over

What if he decided to stay with four even in death and protect his grave from robbers

And considering the mess that is four swords palace and its weird unsettling atmosphere

And the fact that Legend fights several shades and other creatures

It would be a fun twist if shadow was the sole reason why the palace is so creepy

Because he had several centuries to train his abilities to kill off any and all people who dare disturb his lover’s grave

And amass the ungodly amount of corpses in the palace

The centuries of not interacting with the rest of the world and the grieving over the hero of the four sword

Is an easy way to drive yourself crazy

And considering the fact that shadow never was truly sane to begin with

Even in the manga he showed how obsessive and cruel he can be if he wants to

Imagine how much worse it would get if he has actual motivation to take his rage out on grave robbers who want to steal the four sword

He would go mad from grief and probably speak with the sword and create copies of four like the four shades

And when Legend had the “joy” to visit him and fight his way through the palace shadow was watching him from the shadows

Because even in madness he can feel the same soul that once belonged to four

When linked universe happens Legend is hesitant to be around the one who has the face of his worst nightmares

The reaction he would have if he met shadow (who looks like the shadows of the palace)

Would not be pretty

And if the chain has to enter the four swords palace and four has to endure looking at his grave

And then see an insane and grievous version of his lover

Yeah ,four isn’t having a fun time in this

Or the chain

And especially Legend

Shadow is psychologically incapable of differentiating between four and the four sword and could very easily decide that both should stay at the palace

And if four still hasn’t gotten his shadow back yet because they haven’t been to Wild's Hyrule

He would probably just prefer to stay with shadow

And when he gets forced to leave at some point

And then when he gets back his shadow

Knowing that he will one day outlive him and all shadow cares about

That would be genuinely painful

[shinakazami1]

@kitkat578 and I were watching How to Be a Serial Killer, a movie where Dameon Clarke (Jack's VA) plays one of the main characters and this scene at the start of the movie cracked me up so hard I had to draw it ihfaifssioa

Here is the screenshot of the OG

[rottenzone]

[vulprits]

[tjwritesfanfics]

Universe Ten *How to be a serial killer*

Pairing: Bart/Reader

Summary: Bart is happy to find out the cute girl, who always rents 13 going on 30 every Friday, is into the same things he is.

Rating: Mature. Descriptions of murder

Words: 923

AN the gif isn't mine, but I couldn't find one and I can't see who it belongs to. So, credit to them whomever they are!

Every Universe Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Killing has always been your outlet. There is just something about it that is so therapeutic. Really if you weren’t so sure you would be arrested, you would encourage everyone you met to just do a little killing. Dip your toes in the water and just see how freeing it can be.

Honestly it was like a drug you couldn’t get enough of. Kind of like rom-com movies. And your favorite movie store just down the road from your apartment.

You know and the cutie working behind the counter.

You wish you knew his name, but always too shy to even ask and it didn’t look like he wore a name tag either. To your friends he was just ‘long hair movie cutie.’ He was also the reason you went in every Friday to rent 13 Going on 30, that movie with Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo. It had you believing that love would always find a way and got you pumped to learn the dance to Thriller.

You never talked to him, just kind of always smiled at each other, but he always did slip some Twizzlers into your bag before handing it to you. You bet he was as sweet as the candy.

He was also very timid and you could tell. Always letting others push him around and call him names. You didn’t let them though. After smiling at your little sweetie you would follow the asswhole out to their car, pulling your pocket knife and slicing the guy's throats.

You smile as you wipe the blade on their shirt, guys never see it coming from behind.

This used to happen a lot, but over the next few months you saw movie guy get bolder, he even told you his name! It’s Bart! The two of you talked a bit more, you learned that he was taking really fun lessons from his friend Mike and he learned why you always rented the same movie every week.

“I believe in love.” You told him, a shy smile on your face. “I hope to find my one.”

Bart let out a breathy chuckle, “Yeah. Me too.”

One last goodbye to Bart and you were out the door. You wanted to stay longer, but some guy behind you in line was making crude comments at you. You just knew he was going to regret that.

You waited outside for him to finally come out, but then you waited for an hour and still nothing. Honestly it was so rude! Why would this jerk make you wait to kill him?

Another 10 minutes went by when you heard a loud thud of a car trunk closing. Curious, and a little blood thirsty, you crept around the corner to see Bart with blood splattered on his face and shirt, dusting his hands together like he had done something to be proud of.

“Bart?” He jumped at the sound of your voice. “Whatcha doing?”

“N nothing!’ He squeaked, hand snaking down to his waist where you saw the glint of a gun in the moonlight.

“Is that blood on your face?”

Oh no you caught him! How was he supposed to explain that he just murdered the guy he saw ogling you and saying all these rude things to you? He couldn’t just let that guy get away with mistreating you so he locked the store after you left, making sure he was alone with him, and bashed his head in before dragging him out back to his car.

“Oh my god did you just kill someone?!” The demented smile on your face threw him for a loop. It was as though you were happy for him. “Oh lucky! I was waiting for that guy out here, but he had the nerve to stand up his own killer. It was rude.”

You were happy for him, but also jealous at the same time. You really needed that kind of outlet tonight.

“Y you… kill?” He started timid though his body relaxed at the revelation.

“Oh yeah! Have been for a few months now. They never look for women serial killers.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a female serial killer.”

You smile and wander over to him, your hand coming up to wipe some of the blood off his cheek. Bart froze at the close contact. Over the smell of iron he could smell your perfume. The heavenly scent made him feel a little weak in the knees and the blood in his body rushed to his cheeks and ears.

“Well now you have! Who did you kill?”

“I’m actually the reason your kill is so late.”

You gasp, eyes going to the trunk. “YOU took my kill?! Aw man.” You sigh and go to the passenger side of his car, opening the door as you look at him with a pout on your lips. “I’ll forgive you this time because you’re cute, but next time I won’t be so nice.”

Bart scrambled to the driver's seat to follow you. When he finally got inside, he looked at you with wide eyes.

“W what are you doing?”

“Well we are going to go on our first time! No better time than disposing of a body!”

At your joyous voice Bart started the car, backing up and driving away.

“I don’t want this to be our first date,” he said with a shy smile on his lips, “I want to take you somewhere romantic.”

You laugh at his sincerity. “Then I will hold you to that, Bart.”

[chasethedemigod]

currently watching how to be a serial killer and it’s much gayer than i’d expected

[knoxcountry]

his name is fart ?????

[the-invisible-queer]

Of this list, I've only seen RV and all the Alvin and the Chipmunk movies so this will be fun

I do plan to watch most if not all of these in order of popularity

[perfectionnightmare]

Honestly I’m tired of saying something is camp I JUST HAVE BAD TASTE AND THATS OKAY

[argocitycosplay]

How to Be A Serial Killer

I was really hoping that how to be a serial killer would be something like the rise Leslie Vernon. The movie sets a funny tone at the very beginning, with a psychiatrist talking about serial killers and then jumping into an infomercial  that is a self-help seminar about being a serial killer. I have to admit pleasant irony that the person the self-help speaker is trying to tempt into becoming a…

[teaboot]

Cant wait for the age of enlightenment that will come when we all collectively realize that serial killers aren't highly-capable savant geniuses toying with police and the media for grand and complex reasons but are actually usually just random dumbfucks who stumbled into the golden ratio of 'low-empathy sadist with bad reasoning skills hates women/kids/sex/other races and wants to feel powerful, happens to be in an area with a poor investigative force, gets away with it one time and gets fucking cocky' cause I'm kinda getting tired of it

[thomas-the-goat-of-satan]

seventeen year old creature-boy Light Yagami, who is Totally Interested In Women And Definitely Not A Serial Killer, looks at porn magazines (porn magazines is generous; he's looking at scantily clad women, really) in the privacy of his own room and is so supremely weird about it that L, the man that has been Intently Observing Him Through Hidden Cameras, sees him doing it and goes, "oh. something is wrong." meanwhile, Light is internally monologuing himself into a frenzy. "ha!! take THAT. what're you gonna do now, L!? I look SO normal!!" but he doesn't. he never has. he never will. he's just used to everybody around him being too distracted by his artfully styled bangs and extensive collection of soft knitwear to notice his incredibly off-putting demeanor. he is So used to it, in fact, that he doesn't quite grasp that someone might find the image of him lounging around on his stomach and kicking his feet in the air while he stares at breasts to be. a little different. maybe even. disingenuous. oh no. shock and horror, shock and horror.

[vulprits]

ummm 😓..😔

[corviiids]

tbh au where L just doesn't seem to zero in on light as kira at all and light is smug at first but then starts to get increasingly frustrated as L keeps taking swings and missing completely. gets kinda close and then announces the biggest suspect is sayu yagami. don't worry about the older one, he's just an ordinary boy. L never even makes contact. light's dropping signs and L is picking them up but completely misinterpreting them. light's like this guy's a fucking idiot lmfao?? i could get away with this forever. but then he gets bored with no one to play with and he's irritated that L keeps giving credit to every random idiot for being kira. light starts dropping more and more brazen clues trying to see if this stupid detective can take a hint and then L arrests him off the massive trail of evidence he's been leaving for months

[gonnadosomethingwmylife]

It would funny if white collar and criminal minds took place in the same fbi building bc that means when peter and neal are discussing their silly art theft scavenger hunts in the elevator, the bau members are behind them 😭

[knoxcountry]

i tried to make a mike wilson pony not sure if it actually looks like him or not… he is so green