#How much does it cost for driving lessons?

[pirates-and-ninja-lover]

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[trlvsn]

phoenix wright making apollo justice present forged evidence is, as rightfully rage-inducing as it is, also perfectly understandable and even justifiable to an extent. in this essay i will not cut my introduction off with an old-fashioned tumblr punchline and will actually elaborate on why i think so and what i think about phoenix wright in general.

the first few paragraphs will be rather surface-level, but bear with me: i'm writing this in one breath. it has already been established that the change in phoenix's character was so big and shocking that the fandom is still actively discussing it and making theories. i have seen people compare his sprites with mia and diego, kristoph and miles, yanni yogi and many others, and every single on of them is, in in my opinion, correct: there are actual similarities between them, intentional or not. i believe it can all be explained with two simple statements. one: phoenix is a sponge of a man. even before aa4, we frequently see him adopt mannerisms and figures of speech from the people he encounters. he learns, he absorbs, he changes, but only for a short while, as he stays true to his motivations, passions and drive. two: the seven years of being watched by kristoph and collecting data made him turn to that mimicking quality of his and use it as a weapon. phoenix wright could not afford to reveal his true motivations, therefore, he could not reveal what he was in general. it's a simple metaphor, really.

did he get lost in the deceptions somewhere along the way? absolutely. "what tangled webs we weave when we practice to deceive", a line said by him about kristoph, can easily be applied to phoenix. this is where the bloody ace comes in. incidentally, he is given the idea by zak: he is the one who says one can't win unless there's a ace up their sleeve, and, no matter how much of an influence that particular phrase had on wright, he follows the principle. here is phoenix's first motive for forging the ace: insurance. without concrete, dooming evidence, a trial could not end in his favor at the time. phoenix wright, post-disbarment, is no longer a man who relies on bluffs and "just believing in the client", he is strongly dissapointed in the system, outraged, offended, hurt, wounded, and he does not trust it at all, hence the dirty tricks. you can't just play fair against something unfair and win.

what i find far more interesting however, are his other motives. if the only thing that drive him to forgery was distrust and carefulness, he would have shared the plan with apollo or, perhaps, done something similar to the turnabout succession trial, where the letter is shown to the culprit, but never submitted as evidence and quickly admitted as a fake. really, i believe he is smart enough to find other ways. however, he doesn't. he gives the ace to apollo in a very specific way: through trucy wright, not a word of proper explanation. why is that? he is teaching apollo a lesson.

clearly, something about apollo reminds phoenix of himself. a young, bright, nervous mind, fighting for the truth and justice, full of belief, a little naive. phoenix knows what that naivety cost him, and he destroys it right away, because then it will hurt less, he thinks. the forged ace is a vaccine of sorts: you will experience some minor symptoms, but no actual serious consequences, and it will hurt for a moment, but for the rest of your life, you will never catch that sickness again. phoenix is already planning the jurist system reform and has already planned how this trial will go: the environment is controlled and safe for apollo, he will not get disbarred. if the truth is revealed later, under the new system, surely apollo won't be receiving the same harsh punishment wright did. so here you go, kid, learn your lesson, punch a lawyer or two in the face, and never ever, ever trust anyone like that ever again.

but wait, if the truth does get revealed, who will be receiving the punishment for it? of course, the man who forged the evidence, phoenix wright. here comes the third reason: punishment.

remember the class trial? young phoenix wright, blamed for a crime he didn't commit, overwhelmed and crying. what does the abandoned child do when the whole class accuses him of stealing? he stands up slowly and comes up to the kid with the grey hair to apologize for the money he stole but did not steal. he admits it. it doesn't matter what the truth is anymore, because if everyone thinks you did it, you might as well have.

you might as well do it again, for real this time, and maybe a weight will fall off your shoulders, because what you see in yourself will finally match the image the whole world has of you.

phoenix wright is working on the jurist system. phoenix wright is a father and phoenix wright is someone who will do his best to put kristoph gavin to jail. that doesn't mean phoenix wright sees any other use or future for himself. it simply does not matter. well, by the end of the first case, anyway.

he gathers more evidence. he thinks, a lot. he gives apollo advice on the cases, inevitability reminiscing. the new system is a success. in a new, better world, maybe he will take some piano lessons: he has grown tired of pretending he can play. he has grown tired of pretending in general. hell, maybe he will even take the bar exam again.

[beevean]

I need encouragement to be the bravest girl in the world (go out tomorrow to ask how much does it cost to get driving lessons because I haven't driven since I got my license 8 years ago and I need to learn again but I am scared) 😔

[yuurei20]

Leona Info Compilation part 5: Ruggie (pt3)

We see Leona employ Ruggie in a variety of roles such as protecting him during Beanfest (for a “daily special” from the cafeteria every day for a week), taking on his assignments during Vargas Camp (for a shopping trip that Ruggie took with Leona’s money) and recruit new students for the spell drive club (for doughnuts).

The task Ruggie dislikes the most might be having to pick up Leona’s room and do laundry, which we hear him complain about fairly often, but Leona pays for washing Ruggie’s clothes along with his own.

Ruggie seems to be uncomfortable with receiving charity—when Silver offers to lend him money, Ruggie refuses—which is possibly why Leona is always having to find roundabout ways to support Ruggie financially.

Since Ruggie will not accept money unless he feels like he is getting away with something Leona does things like give Ruggie both his wallet and his permission to buy whatever it is he wants in exchange for standing in line at the school store.

If it weren’t for the appearance of a monster that they needed magic in order to fight off, it is likely that Leona had been intending to let Ruggie smuggle a magestone out of the mines to sell, as well.

In a vignette we see Ruggie talking to himself about wishing he could afford to eat more when Leona suddenly appears behind him.

We do not know how much Leona overheard, but when Ruggie says he needs money to buy detergent for washing Leona’s clothes, Leona tosses him his wallet and tell him to take what he needs and keep the change.

Ruggie points that out he has nothing but large bills and Leona responds, “Why’re you getting all hung up on the details?"

Ruggie reflects that Leona probably wouldn’t even notice if he kept more in change than what the detergent costs, saying, “far be it from me to look a gift horse in the mouth, though. Cha-ching!”, seemingly unaware that that is likely Leona’s exact intent.

Ruggie charges Leona “at least ten thaumarks an hour” in exchange for his help during Fairy Gala (we never see Leona haggle with Ruggie to try and underpay him; Leona always goes along with whatever price Ruggie dictates), and Ruggie seems free to refuse tasks he does not like, such as passing on messages to Malleus.

When Jamil comments that serving Leona seems “far more painful” than serving Kalim, Ruggie says that serving Kalim would just make him uncomfortable, and there is “a lid for every pot.”

Ruggie himself explains that while Leona is used to ordering people around and is a demanding boss, he is always giving things to Ruggie for him to sell.

Leona also helps with Ruggie’s education, as Night Raven College is Ruggie’s first time attending a school.

Ruggie says that Leona tutors him on lessons he does not understand and provides him with reference books and old exams, as well as “tons of useful advice”, directly resulting in a significant increase in Ruggie’s grades from “bottom of the ladder” to “somewhere just below the middle”.

In addition to never arguing with Ruggie about money Leona seems to follow his demands in other areas as well, such as not skipping classes that Ruggie insists he must attend and reluctantly eating vegetables that Ruggie puts on his plate for lunch.

Leona does not seem to like the food at the school cafeteria (calling the steaks “cheap” in Book 6) which makes sense, as he is a prince, and he is one of the strictest judges in Culinary Crucible (on par with Vil), grading meals with a 4 that Ruggie grades as 8.

However, Ruggie has a voice lines saying, “When it comes to cooking, all I can do it throw together whatever’s on hand, but it seems like Leona doesn’t care as long as it’s edible.”

This seems to insinuate that Leona either just prefers Ruggie’s cooking in particular, or at the very least he refuses to complain about it.

[space-invading-pigeon]

After the events of season 1, his parents are pissed at him. How dare he bring the Harrington name down like that, getting into a fight with that nasty little Byers boy and LOSING, being spotted going TO the Byers house later that night, and, to top it all off, severing any chance his father had at a continuation of their annual contract with the Hagan family.

Steve's father beats the shit out of him, all while his mother watches on like it's the most borish thing she could be doing. The noise is bad enough that the neighbors, who spent Steve's whole childhood ignoring every sign of abuse or neglect, actually call the police. It's Hopper that shows up, and Steve's father ends up in handcuffs. Steve is taken in as well, but he gets to sit up front with Hopper, and by the end of the night, Mr. Harrington has been released into his wife's care. It becomes the last time that Steve sees either of his parents; he had tried to lie to Hopper, but almost immediately folded when the chief called him "son" and gave him this forlorn look, and Hopper turned right around and told Steve's father his options. Option A: get charged with assault, disturbing the peace, and child neglect, which would ruin his reputation even if they didn't stick, or option B: leave Steve his inheritance, the house, and his trust fund, as well as a monthly stipend until he turns 18, at which point Mr. Harrington would not contact Steve again. Mr. Harrington chooses option B without hesitating, and as soon as he leaves the station, he does exactly as instructed.

Steve's parents leave town that first week of December with nothing more for their only son than looks of disdain, and Steve has to settle alone in a big empty house. He pretends everything is fine, especially around Nancy- he just got her back, he can't risk losing her again- and for a while, he convinces everyone he is. No one but Hopper and Joyce know that his parents are gone, and both adults insist on helping him out.

Hopper teaches him how to take care of the property he now owns; Steve refuses to hire people, he's too scared of losing money, so he learns how to mow the lawn and rake leaves and make sure the plumbing and electricity are working fine. Joyce teaches him to take care of his finances: how to budget, how to save, how to make smart investment decisions, even how to estimate the cost of a shopping trip.

Because of their lessons, Steve is almost completely independent by the start of season 2. Unfortunately for the adults of the Party, Steve already knows how to not take care of himself, so he skips doctor's appointments and refuses to get any help from Hawkins Lab, even when they extend an offer (about a month after Will starts his therapy there). He won't sleep, only eats if he thinks someone will notice that he's getting thin, and learns to use Nancy's concealer (which he steals from her; not even Nancy can know how little he's coping). It all finally starts to calm down around Halloween, so he tries to get Nancy to relax, too, but Nancy just glares at him and drinks too much and tells him that she's never loved him and that he's bullshit. He spirals a little, but he still makes sure that Jonathan will take Nancy home before he runs away.

Nancy apologizes the next day, but when he asks her if she loves him, she stops talking, so Steve leaves her standing in the alley she led him to and drives home.

[aethon-recs]

30 Tomarrymort Recs for February 2023

I keep telling myself that I won't do month-by-month recs and that they're too much of a commitment, but then a month like February hits where there were so many knock-out Tomarrymort fics published that I couldn’t resist celebrating all the incredible works posted in the last month, including for two Tomarrymort-themed fests. Apologies that this is coming a bit late in the month — it took me quite some time to write up thoughts on each due to the huge influx of unforgettable fic in February!

Criteria for this list: one-shot, complete, published in February 2023, in alphabetical order by title. It’s quite an extensive list, but every single one of these is worth reading.

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Tomarrymort Recs (February 2023)

A Lesson Learned Well by @ellionne (M, 2k)

A very creepy take on a captive Harry and how he slowly starts to lose his mind until Voldemort can get him to do anything. ‘Anything’ includes some pretty gruesome cannibalism and other horrors!

Amensalism by @cindle-writes (E, 6k)

Tentacle sex! Inspired by the Venom movie! Harry/Scarcrux based off Eddie/Venom! Need I say more?

Anchor the Moon by Xenjn (M, 8k)

A very cool spin on genderswapped Tom and Harry who attend Hogwarts together! No matter the setting or era, Harry is obsessed with stalking Tom and proving she’s up to no good.

Anniversary by @vdoshu (E, 4k)

The last place that Harry would want to have sex is back in his cupboard at 4 Privet Drive. Yet Voldemort still takes him there for their anniversary. The mind games in here are absolutely top-tier!

Because it is his by TheOnceandFutureQueenofTarts (E, 2k)

An experiment in polyjuice leads Harry to discover that Tom is extremely attracted to… Tom. A truly hilarious take on Tom Riddle’s unhinged and unparalleled levels of narcissism!

Cynosure by @wolfantlersinspace (E, 3k)

When Voldemort steps out of the cauldron, he is the hottest man in existence. We've all seen that scene in the 4th movie! Harry can’t help but feel the same way, despite how much he tries to resist it...

Eulogy by @meles-merrivale (E, 6k)

A brooding, pensive glimpse into a day in the life of Harry who’s been raised by Voldemort. How Harry yearns for him, yet never quite gets the emotional fulfillment he so craves is heartbreaking! I gasped at the ending!

Frigid by @mrviran (E, 3k)

I don’t know if the world is ready yet for Puritanical Voldemort, but if you think you might be, this fic does it BEST. The way Voldemort fixes Harry is so… chilling (pun intended — it'll all be clear once you read the fic!)

Honeyguide by @cannibalinc (E, 7k)

Tom, an unmatched Omega, is determined to have Harry as his Alpha, no matter the costs. The rut scene is so intense, with Harry completely losing control in a very sexy (and dangerous!) way.

Identity by @crowcrowcrowthing (E, 5k)

Harry and Tom go on a road trip together to celebrate their anniversary. The reveals in this fic were SO GOOD, I didn’t see any of them coming — crowthing skillfully delivers intricately layered tangled plots-within-plots in just 5k words.

In the library by @chiocchi (G, Art)

Harry and Tom studying in the library — with an adorable depiction of Tom letting his guard down around Harry. Both the scene and the coloring are so very soft!

Insatiate by @vdoshu (E, 2k)

A very bleak and dark take on an AU where Voldemort wins and Harry lives a very empty life, only to be filled by Voldemort’s cocks and some magical immortality juice.

it's kind of tripping me up babe, i've got it bad for you by @limonium-anemos (E, 3k)

Harry and Voldemort get isekai'ed into a cursed romance-novel AU. I love how all the long-standing love and trust between Harry and Voldemort shines through in this fic, as they make the best of their time in this very wacky erotica setting by fucking each other's brains out.

Keepsake by IceLynx (M, 5k)

Harry suffering from amnesia wakes up with Voldemort telling him that they're in a relationship. But when the pieces don’t quite add up, Harry discovers the horrifying truth. A very creative twist at the end!

アンバランスなKissをして by vash (E, 2k)

A show-stopping alternate ending to the Final Battle, with Harry asking for a final kiss from Voldemort. 

Matriphagy by @being-luminous (M, 2k)

This fic takes the whole “Voldemort hunting Harry because of a prophecy” origin story, and adds a vampire twist to it. The floaty and detached vibe is a really nice contrast to the visceral horrors of what’s happening on-page — very skillfully done!

Phalanx by @vdoshu (E, 4k)

There’s a reason why Voldemort doesn’t wear shoes, which Harry, to his horror (and our delight), finds out firsthand. The foot worship in here is magnificently over-the-top in very satisfying detail.

Quiet as the Moon by @itsevanffs (M, 2k)

A Beauty and the Beast AU that’s a sequel to @duplicitywrites’ Certain as the Sun. I thought what was a really nice touch is how we see the state of their (unhappy) relationship through flashbacks interspersing the main action — in just a few sentences, itsevanffs manages to paint a picture of a very wretched existence for Harry, before he takes matters into his own hands. 

Research and Development by @cannibalinc (E, 6k)

Voldemort captures Harry and proceeds to experiment on him. And by ‘experiment’, I mean, carve Harry up and fuck him with his hemipenes in delightfully gratuitous, violent and unrestrained, and gushingly hot fashion.

Right in Front of My Salad? by IceLynx (T, 2k)

Draco Malfoy dies right in the middle of Harry and Tom’s kitchen (rude). A hilarious sequence of misunderstandings ensues, which leave you with no doubt that Harry and Tom are absolutely perfect for each other.

Run Boy Run by @youknowmevj (E, 6k)

The ultimate chase & capture fic. The anticipation builds with every one of Harry’s steps as he's trying to run away, and we’re left with some delicious emotional manipulation and a very hot wall sex scene at the end. 

silk of midnight and dawn by @ilya-zzz (E, 3k)

Such a cool concept! Harry and Tom decide to become animagi, and when Tom transforms into his animagus form, his animal instincts kick in... and Harry is right there unable to defend himself...

Tantrums by @crowcrowcrowthing (E, 5k)

Featuring the brattiest Tom I’ve ever come across, and an incredibly impulsive Harry who can’t resist Tom’s allures. You'd think this combination would automatically spell destruction and disaster, but they actually work out really well together in a surprisingly compatible way!

Tearing me apart (like a new emotion) by @rudehellion (E, 2k)

As this fic progresses, the horror of what’s happening to Harry in his forced marriage to Voldemort continues to build and build. Not only is Harry getting taken part physically, he’s also getting taken apart mentally ("Every night, there’s a little more trust to break.") I loved what the ending implies for Voldemort’s favorite hobby.

That's Your Boyfriend by @solavonn (G, Art)

This artwork is so cute!! Depicting Harry who's overwhelmed by how hot his Quidditch boyfriend Tom is. Harry's not the only one — Solavonn's Tom Riddle art is always so good-looking that we all feel the same way, Harry!

The Green Herring by @duplicitywrites (G, 1k)

A hilarious cracky take on what exactly Tom Riddle thinks of his boyfriend Harry’s very special, very extraordinary, very memorable eye colour. 

The sweet burn of venom by @loneamaryllis (E, 4k)

SMOKIN’ HOT ABO! Harrie goes through her first heat, and Voldemort provides relief, but is he really there, or is it a (very hot) dream?

thrice-bound, twice-filled by @cindle-writes (E, 4k)

Voldemort. Hemipenes. Double-stuffing Harry. A perfect setup for a very hot pwp!

We're (Not) Together by @vdoshu (E, 3k)

This fic is the EPITOME of gaslighting and manipulation. An extremely controlling Tom refuses to accept that he and Harry aren’t still together… or are they?

you alone of all creatures by @duplicitywrites (E, 3k)

I love the concept of Tom having an illicit affair with his very sexy and married Professor Potter. All the sneaking around is SO HOT as he seduces Harry and cracks open his defenses bit-by-bit.

*

[paragonrobits]

so i was reading some complaints about how Marceline is only really present in Fionna And Cake in a brief snippet and then only in AUs, and then it occured to me: Marceline not being around in an active way is necessary for the plot to happen.

Essentially, the plot of Fionna And Cake might be summarized as 'longing the magical life, Fionna and Cake flee from a Lawful Neutral cosmic killjoy and enlist the help of Simon Petrikov who agrees to become Ice King again, but is explicitly not telling them about what this is going to do to him'. The story is essentially about Simon WANTING to become Ice King while at the same time really not wanting to do that at all, pressuring himself into losing himself once more because he thinks its the only way for him to be needed by anyone anymore.

If Marceline is around, this doesn't happen. She is Simon's biggest reason for staying; she's the happiest part of his life, the most fulfilling and rewarding part of his life. It comes up, time and time again, that in the end becoming Ice King was the best thing to happen to Simon despite all its misery, suffering and tragedy because he otherwise would never have met her; he wouldn't have survived the great mushroom war, or the horrors following it, and would have died long before ever meeting her.

And the show details how INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT Simon raising her really was. The Marceline we know was shaped, by a massive degree, by Simon; his example of self-sacrifice, him letting his mind disintegrate by inches, him going out of his way to help a complete stranger and a monstrous child horrifying by the standards of the setting, all implciitly RIGHT after Marceline's mother died and Marceline had resigned herself to being a scary monster that drives everyone away. And then here came a stranger out of the blue, and spent the next few years telling her that yes, she DID matter, she was a person, and that he cared about her so much he destroyed himself so she wouldn't get hurt... or perhaps because her only means of defending herself, ripping out the souls of others, hurts who she is.

It's not a nice kind of comfort. But it still shaped her into someone willing to be a hero in her own way.

And this goes both ways; we can see that the proverbial straw for Simon is him calling Marceline and concluding that she doesn't need him anymore. It's only after this he starts trying to contact Golbetty, with the potential doom that may befall him. If Marceline doesn't need him, he seems to think, he doesn't matter. The need to be needed runs deep in Simon's character; its what draws him to help Fionna and Cake, and the worlds they visit seem to impart a lesson to him on how he matters more than he thinks he does, both by the things he's done and what he means to others; that he's not as bad a person as he thinks he is, or that Marceline would be fine without him.

So. If Marceline talks more to Simon, ESPECIALLY after he resolves to throw his progress away and let his mind be lost all over again just so he doesn't have to hurt anymore... well, his character arc in this series is about accepting that he's actually ok, the way he is, and to gain perspective on his feelings that he doesn't belong anywhere (and the answer is that he DOES, more than he knows). Marceline doesn't inhibit that, but she WOULD make it harder for it to happen, arguably at the cost of sidelining Simon's character arc here. He would pretend that okay he doesnt want to be Ice King even if he DOES still intend to go through with it, and not in the same way as when he comes to the conclusion that he ultimately does.

If Marceline is there, he doesn't think those thoughts, and he won't come to the same conclusion.

And at the same time, despite not being there, Marceline's presence hangs over the entire show in Simon's character arc. She is the best thing in his life; his greatest success, the most purely positive and happy part of his life. It can't be understated how significant Marceline is; as miserable as Ice King was, she was someone he cared about even if he didn't understand why anymore. Ice King shows a remarkable amount of restraint in context, but it becomes a lot more obvious whenever she's involved, or in danger; a care so deep and ingrained that when Ice King was often pretty callous, whenever she was upset you could see flickers on his face, genuine distress rising up from some forgotten memory or part of who he is.

Marceline pervades Simon's character and the impact he had on the world; the idea of him being able to pull through this and come back to Ooo for her feels very evident, and the impact Simon has in her in other worlds remains extremely important in all of them, sub-textually or otherwise. Sometimes, its a hint that the Winter King is far more morally ambiguous or even malicious than he lets on (the only Marceline present being an eternal child that, from context, is just a simulcrum for him to play pretend parent with) or evidence that without Simon, Marceline grows up into the monster she always feared she was (Vampire World).

She's a presence, hanging over Simon in a good way and reminding us that not only does he have somewhere to go back to, he must understand that he does belong there. And furthermore that the world of Ooo, whimsical and ultimately a better one than most of the places he visits in the miniseries, can only exist because of him.

In Winter King, we see what he could become, without his moral choices. In Vampire World, we see what happens without Simon Petrikov. And in Marceline herself, we see the surest evidence of how important he really is, even if he can't or won't acknowledge it. In his loved ones, in the family he made, even if its not the family he thought he was supposed to have.

[backjustforberena]

Hi! I've been enjoying reading your insights regarding the Velaryons, especially Rhaenys. I don't know if this has been asked already but if it hasn't been yet, please do rant about 'the juxtaposition of Corlys and Rhaenys at their daughter's wake and how it perfectly represents and underlines the divergence they are having in respect to legacy which leads onto their opposing positions in regards to succession.'

Hello! I assume you mean from this gifset? I would love to talk about it. And thank you for your compliments on my "insights", I really like having a ramble about these characters. It's fun, and escapism, and they occupy far too much of my headspace.

So, yes, the wake. I've done a bit of a meta, HERE, about it, and then a more in-depth look at specifically Rhaenys's movements during both the funeral and the wake HERE.

And I think my thoughts, just generally, about them as a couple during this whole entire episode, is that they are diverging and that ebbs and flows throughout and then you get the break of that relationship being the most visceral and violent event at the end, with Laenor's death and Rhaenys screaming and Corlys yelling. And that's what leads us into this six-year gap. They are ripped apart by this. It's the only thing that could have done so because the love and the marriage is pretty solid otherwise.

At the wake, obviously, both Rhaenys and Corlys are reacting to the same incident. The same trauma. The death of their daughter. But they each react in different ways which means they can't understand the other or even make room to try. They're at opposite ends of the spectrum and that is really new for them. It doesn't happen.

As I touched on, in the first meta I've linked to, they grasp onto their grandchildren as some sort of remedy. As some sort of answer. Both characters are fierce in their ideas of family and propelled by the love of their family but, in cases such as this, what that love amounts to is different.

For Corlys, it's the idea of legacy. So, he looks to Luke, who is to be his legacy as Lord of the Tides after Laenor. He tries to take comfort that, despite a major pillar of his love and family (and legacy) having been taken (Laena and an unborn grandchild dying in childbirth), all is not lost. All is not despair. Luke represents a future and a way out of this pain and grief. A brighter day and one, dare I say, that will absolve Corlys of any regrets at yoking his family to the Targaryen royals. It's a way of not facing his demons and not facing his culpability (however you want to look at that whether as illogical guilt, support of a match that meant Laena was away from them, his ambitions driving the family) in the situation he's in now.

I don't think it's any coincidence that he goes into familiar territory rather than looking at his granddaughters, who are basically living copies of the daughter that just died and are the last piece of his daughter. He's not engaging with the fact that they've lost Laena. He doesn't even do it in the following scene when Rhaenys wants to talk about Maesters. He fobs her off. For a man obsessed with legacy, he doesn't consider the legacy of his daughter specifically.

Whereas, looking at Rhaenys, all she can do is face the fact that her daughter is dead. Rhaenys is, in my opinion, light-years ahead of her husband in terms of the consequences of ambition. It's why she's the cautious one of the pair and why we only have them really, truly, on the same page about the Iron Throne in Episode 10 - because he's now been humbled by all this war and deaths and the cost. For Rhaenys, that sort of lesson has been burnt into her since the Great Council. So, she's painfully self-aware of her sins and the cruelty of the world, as opposed to Corlys who is a very accomplished man. Who does what he wants and very rarely gets burnt. I think Rhaenys is all too ready and willing to blame herself. To blame them.

And Rhaenys's view on legacy and priority on legacy has to be different to Corlys's. In part, because Rhaenys's legacy has been set for decades. What will she be remembered for, if not as "The Queen Who Never Was"? But also due to her sex. Her children do not have her last name. She has no holdings or land. Her name has every chance of being in a long list of Meleys's riders. Any title she could have passed on was stripped from her: her children are not even Prince or Princess. She has nothing to give that she cannot give day-to-day, during her lifetime, whilst she lives: her love, her body, her protection.

Corlys can cement his line, be remembered as grandfather to Kings, and leave behind a prosperous Driftmark with a secure succession of Velaryon after Velaryon, at least in name. His voyages and discoveries will be legend, his accomplishments will become myth, he will have victories and claim territories etc etc. He will be in the history books. He lives for legacy because legacy can be something to him. It can't be, for her. Any legacy as she would have liked it (Queen of the Seven Kingdoms) was taken from her long ago.

But back to Rhaenys and the loss of Laena, specifically... she can't deal with anything else. It's all she thinks about. All that motivates her, in this episode. There was even some cut dialogue during the knife scene (which I do agree on being taken out but nevertheless gives us insight) where, as Rhaenys and Corlys enter, she berates the room at large: on the day we buried our daughter (I'm paraphrasing). It's all about Laena and being unable to prevent Laena's death. It's self-reflection on her own actions or inactions.

Of course she's going to prioritise blood because that is the only thing she has to care about. She's going to prioritise Laena's legacy. Not Corlys's. Not her own. Laena's. Because those girls are all that is left of her daughter. She's going to protect those girls with everything she has and give them all she can and atone. Giving those girls a happy life and keeping them close and keeping them safe is the only thing even remotely within her control. It's also a way of fulfilling her daughter's wishes.

But, as we see in the fireside scene, it becomes about choosing. To elevate Baela (which is a massive thing to do, like I cannot emphasise enough how out of line Rhaenys was with that suggestion), you cast a shadow on the boys. You just do, without meaning to. So it becomes an argument, rather than a conversation because that threatens what Corlys is trying to find solace in - the communication goes out of the window. And that whole conversation spirals because they are just grieving parents looking to different things to make them feel okay again.

But I'll stop rambling there. It's just layered.

[duckduckhjonk]

Part 1 of analyzing every total drama character.

hi ho! i’m going to do this in elimination order for each season/character. So obviously part 1 has gotta be Ezekiel. I have very much Opinions ™️  on him.

Before we begin i would like to say that i am in no way a professional in anything I’m doing, this is just for fun and to get a better grip on characters from my favourite show.

Zeke from the get go is an absolute loser. He’s homeschooled and doesn’t understand many social cues/norms. He’s dirty and mostly antisocial. Even Chris tells him not to say much and to try not to be first off the island.

Overall review of his time on the show:

I think the biggest part that he does in island is that he says a very sexist remark, claiming that men are better than women. He quickly learns his lesson, then eliminated because of it. During the special, TDDDDI, Zeke teams up with Lindsay and Beth, with the only terms of “treating them with respect”. I feel this heavily implies that during the time at Playa Des Loser, Zeke is trying to actively better himself from his old views on gender, as he happily accepts the two girls’ terms of teaming up. He also tries helping them during this time, pointing out the case that is tied to the tree. Although he is quickly silenced and ignored by the two girls chatter. Which costed them to be the first to the prize.

Ultimately, Zeke is not in Action and doesn't do much for the aftermaths either, but during his time in Playa Des Losers, he takes on a gangster-esque persona in an attempt to be seen as cool. It does not work well, as he is never seen as cool. I have nothing much to say with Action, so lets just move along.

World Tour is where things get very interesting for him. He dropped the gangster persona and became super determined to win, claiming he’s been training. Unfortunately, he is eliminated first again, twice. His determination drives him to stay on the jet, hanging onto the wings and landing gear of it in order to live in the cargo hold. This is where he begins to lose his humanity. He begins to act more like the rodents that live in the plane, and even begins to turn a sick green colour and lose his hair and also his hat. I dont know how he lost his hat, i think he should have kept it. Chris tries to take advantage of his determination to win and hires a still vaguely human Zeke to play the ripper. After that, he finally goes full feral. He’s a full on animal by now and Chris once again uses that to his advantage in the Serengeti episode, when he is used to be hunted for sport. In the finale, Zeke’s determination makes him attack Chris or Heather depending on the version for the million where he is thrown into the volcano but quickly launched back out.

During Revenge of the Island, Zeke lives in the mines with a bunch of mutated creatures, acting as their king. During A Mine is a Terrible Thing to Waste, Zeke finds Anne Maria and begins giving her a bunch of treats in order to impress her. He gives her the burnt prize money and a diamond he doesn't know is fake. I find this glimpse of Zeke still being human to be a nice breath of fresh air for him, which is gone soon after as he tries to attack Lightning on sight. During the finale of Revenge of the Island he also tries to protect Anne Maria from the weird squirrel in hopes of getting a kiss from her.

In All Stars, he is originally brought back as a joke to scare the contestants before being launched away again. During this season, Zeke has enough of Chris using him as a punching bag and kidnaps him, holding him above a vat of toxic waste using only a thin rope that rats are eating away at. While he is hanging, Chris actively taunts Zeke, causing him to go into a fit of rage. Though the contestants save Chris and defeat Zeke before Chris falls into the vat. Lucky for him, Zeke gets a happy-ish ending where he is accepted by the rest of the mutants on the island.

My personal thoughts/headcanons about him:

I have reason to suspect Zeke has some form of neurodivergency that probably went undiagnosed due to his parents being of a much more “traditional” mindset and refusing to give him mental help.

Equally so, i have every right to suspect that Zeke’s parents are neglectful. Did they never do anything legally to the producers or Chris for making him into a wretched beast. Did they never think to sue the show? The show’s situation caused him to never be normal again.

I also think that Zeke orignally was trying to act like his father in Island, i dont know the exact reason but maybe within the farmer community they live in his father was considered cool? i’m unsure but i think thats why he tried to act like him. Once that failed he would try to act like a gangster because maybe he saw they were perceived as cool.

Zeke just wants to be seen as cool by people, i think its sad he never got that, I mean he was sexist so ig thats why.

also please note that Duncan has said far more sexist things than Ezekiel ever has

Overall, Ezekiel is an amusing character that i find super interesting. Albeit he’s more interesting in a feral form but that doesn’t make his human form not interesting. I wouldn’t say he’s quite top 10 favourite character, but i do enjoy him.

[johnwickb1tsch]

The Night Nurse - Ch 9

A John Wick x Helen Fic

When nurse Helen Morgan is caught in the crossfire of a shootout and aids the injured John Wick, she’s faced with two options: serve the High Table, or be executed as a Witness. She tells herself her choice to work at the Continental has everything to do with survival, and excellent pay, and *not* her growing feelings for the Tall, Dark, and Handsome Assassin™ who got her into this mess in the first place, thank you very much. │ Masterlist / Chapter Map │

IX.

Helen made her way back to the guest bedroom, where John had placed her things. She had not mentioned it yet, but the sight of a massive bouquet of cheerful white Shasta daisies upon a side table swelled her heart to bursting. How had he managed it? She reasoned that he must have a house keeper to execute such things. The thought of him running after a house this size, vacuuming and dusting in between fulfilling contracts definitely made her grin.

She noticed his thoughtfulness had struck again in the bathroom, with artisan made soaps and bodywash that smelled like honey, rosemary, and looked like they had been extremely expensive. As she washed the grime of their lessons away she may have lingered a little extra long just to luxuriate a bit.

Not too long, though.

She was eager to get back to John, missing his company already.

She had it bad.

Maybe she should have kissed him earlier, when his arm had been wrapped around her waist like a band of steel. And yet, the older woman in her savored the slowly burning fuse between them, even if it was driving her a little mad. She knew from experience this was the sweetest part. The longing. The desire. The heavy looks and lingering touches. The honeymoon, as it were, when it seemed like the object of your devotion could do no wrong. She’d never been with anyone with whom that did not fade.

Maybe John would be the exception.

Maybe she really was losing her damn mind.

Fresh from the shower, she made her way to her bag. Maybe she’d exaggerated a little about the size of the first aid kit. There was a little something for everything within its confines; she liked to be prepared, and she felt like she’d packed just the right outfit for the moment. Maybe John would be so overcome by her beauty he would finally grab her up and kiss her—she snorted at the absurdity of the thought, even if, in the back of her mind, she kindled the hope.

John took a quick shower, careful of his new dressing, not wanting to displease Nurse Helen, although the thought of getting a rise out of her made the blood rush from his brain to a decidedly less helpful area. When she leveled him with that certain look…god. It made him want to grab her up and throw her down.

***

No, no, no, he scolded himself, looking down. Such thoughts were not helpful at all.

Maybe he would get a reward for being a good boy, and not wrecking the dressing.

The thought of that didn’t help either.

Exasperated with himself and his increasingly unhinged thoughts, he made his way to the kitchen, getting to work. He liked to cook. He found it relaxing, perhaps because he didn’t actually get the chance to do it all that often. Nights at home were a luxury in his business, and he intended to enjoy this one to the fullest.

He was prepping some asparagus crowns when Helen padded around the corner in a wide-necked ivory sweater dress that nearly cost him a finger. He paused in his chopping, his eyes all for her as she slid onto the stool across from him at the island.

“Can I do anything to help?” she asked with a sparkle in her eye that suggested she had an idea of what he was thinking as he looked at her. Little did he know, she was experiencing similar heart palpitations at the sight of him in his simple black button down, the open throat accenting the muscles of his chest to an utterly unfair advantage. Does he even know? she wondered. Somehow, she doubted it. Though he dressed well, he didn’t actually seem vain. Or if he was, he hid it better than any good-looking man she’d ever known.

“No,” John refused. “You’ve had a long day thanks to me. I insist you sit there, and look beautiful, and have a glass of wine if you would like one.”

She giggled at hearing that, propping her chin on her hand. “You’ve had a long day too, putting up with me.”

He started back on trimming the ends off of the asparagus, feeling that tell-tale heat blooming at his collar.

“I’ve had…a wonderful day, with you.” He looked up through his hair after he said it, dark-eyed and a little vulnerable. Helen felt her heart melt a little more for it.

“Me too,” she agreed quietly. “There’s never a dull moment with you, John.”

The corner of his mouth ticked. “I wouldn’t mind a few more dull moments. Or at least, quiet ones.”

“Are you...” She bit her lip. “Maybe I shouldn't ask you that.” 

“You can ask me anything,” he told her, and meant it. 

“Ok. Are you getting burnt out on your job?” 

He tilted his head, really thinking about it. It was all he'd ever known. He'd never even considered quitting, until meeting this woman, and daring to dream about what a life could be like outside the Underworld. 

“I've never actually liked my job,” he admitted. “But I never really had a choice either. Excelling at what I do was the only path to some semblance of freedom for me.” 

“And do you have to keep doing it? Just, indefinitely, forever?”

He sighed. He was so in demand, for Viggo, and those the Bratva boss lent him out to, for the right price. He couldn't imagine them ever letting him retire, even to a quieter post like Charon or Winston enjoyed. 

“I don't know,” he answered truthfully. The Impossible Task was a thing of legend among their kind. He'd never known of anyone who had come out from one alive. He'd considered it before, abstractly. Like something he might pursue when he finally needed one last challenge to cut the boredom. 

That was before he had something to lose. 

Pouring her a glass of red wine, he asked, “What about you? Is nursing what you've always wanted to do?” 

Helen accepted the glass of wine with a grateful smile. “I've been a caretaker for as long as I can remember. It seemed like a natural step, and it was a life line for my sister and I. We left Boston as soon as we could. We lived in the shittiest little apartment in the Bronx while I went to school, and waited tables, and Eve worked in a coffee house and sold her art. God...those days. I can't say I miss them. I was so grateful for my first shift after graduation. It was the first time since my father passed that I felt some sense of stability in my life. I felt, almost, safe.”

“Almost?”

“Almost.”

John found he despised the thought of Helen not feeling secure. It made him want to do something insane, like offer to take care of her forever.

“Hmm. I am going to start the grill, and then you are going to tell me what you like to do when you're not taking care of everyone else around you.” 

With a soft smile she watched him exit out the sliding glass doors to the patio beyond. She found that watching him doing the smallest things moved her. The poetry of his long-fingered hands, even when just chopping vegetables. Walking out a door. More preferably, walking towards her.

It felt alarmingly warm, and cozy.

It felt like... Oh no. Not yet. Leave that bastard of a four-letter word out for now. It only complicated things, unbearably so, in most cases. She just wanted to enjoy this, without jumping out of her skin, or thinking too much about the future.

It had always been her job to think about the future, and it was something that was hard to turn off.

When John returned, sliding the door closed behind him, he offered Helen a small smile that warmed her to her toes.

This man.

It really wasn’t fair.

She watched as he poured himself a glass of wine, inhaling deeply before taking a sip. “Is it alright?” 

“It's wonderful,” she complimented. “Thank you.” 

“My pleasure. Shouldn't be long on the grill. Are you hungry?” 

“Starving.” 

As she looked at him across the island, she knew she wasn't just talking about food. She just couldn't stop herself from looking at him like something she wanted to eat. She couldn't tell if he knew it, too, but those soulful dark eyes staring into hers warmed her from her heart to her toes, and everything in between. 

***

Helen sat at the head of the huge dining table, at John’s insistence. Rather than have a ridiculously removed meal with a league between them from opposite ends of the table, he set a place for himself to her right. She watched as he lit two taper candles in modern wrought iron sconces, smiling softly. “I’ve never had occasion to actually use these,” he confesses, and she wonders if that means he’d never had company here before?

John was a private man, and she supposed that just maybe it was possible.

The light outside the wall of windows was fading as night fell, and the candlelight lent a warm intimacy to the cavernous space around them. Half through her first glass of wine on an empty stomach, Helen was definitely feeling the glow.

Dinner was simple but delicious, the steaks grilled to perfection. She knew that she was perhaps reading into it more than she should, in her state of slight inebriation, but there was something rather primal about a man cooking a meal for a woman. It probably called back to vestigial memories of the hunter laying the kill of the day by the fire. I feed you. Maybe it was silly, but Helen couldn’t help but feel utterly cared for. It was refreshing, to say the least. She wasn’t sure she dared finish the rest of that archaic thought, but maybe in the back of her mind a little voice whispered the rest:  

I feed you, because you are mine.

John’s foot bumped hers under the table. Sitting so close, it was inevitable their mutually long limbs would become tangled. “Sorry,” he apologized, and she simply smiled into her wine glass, pointedly placing her foot over his.

“It’s alright,” she answered, and the warmth in his eyes from across the table sent a thrill through her bones.

“So,” said John, clearing his throat. “You were going to tell me what you like to do in your free time, when you’re not keeping everyone around you from falling to pieces.”

She laughed softly, and the sparkle in her molten-sugar eyes was utterly melting. Wine, John thought. They were definitely going to need more wine.

With a shrug she answered, “I’m not…really that interesting, John. You already know I like to read. I draw a little. I like walking in the woods, and on the beach. Maybe visit the occasional museum. Sometimes I like movies, but usually they’re just too dumb to invest the time these days.” She’s quiet for a moment. “Honestly, most of my life, I’ve been too busy taking care of someone else to have serious hobbies.”

He frowned, thinking he would give her all the free time in the world, if she would let him. He wanted to think that was just the wine talking, but…it wasn’t. He absolutely knew it wasn’t.

 “If you had all the time you wanted, what would you do?”

She pursed her lip, thinking about that, like it had never occurred to her that it could ever be a possibility. “You know, I took a printmaking class in college that I really liked. I always wished I could do that more, but…it takes room, and equipment, and it makes a big mess. But there was just something about the snap of pulling that first print after spending all the time on the prep work, drawing the design and carving the plate. No matter how well you tried to plan, there would always be some kind of surprise on the paper. Something unexpected and out of your control, but usually something beautiful. Like a happy cosmic mistake. I loved that.”

John stared at her as she described this, and for the umpteenth time that day, he thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. The subject of making art brought a light to her eyes that he found utterly addicting, and he wondered what it would take to outfit the other half of his binding workshop into a printmaking studio.

“When you make your first series of prints, I’ll bind them for you,” he offered, and she veritably glowed with the suggestion.

“That sounds amazing, John.” She leaned back in her chair, smiling across at him, seeming utterly content. “So how did you get into bookbinding?”

He shrugged a little. “I’ve always loved books. I didn’t get to have any formal schooling, really. They were my window to the outside world. I used to have to hide them, at the—” He almost said Theatre, but caught himself just barely. “At the place where I was trained.”

“Oh, John.” Helen reached across the table to him, sliding her fingers in his. He squeezed her hand appreciatively, grazing her knuckles with his thumb.

“It’s alright. When I was young I found this dogeared copy of Russian Fairy Tales by Afanasyev. It was old. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was actually rather valuable. I took it everywhere with me, all across the world, and over time the binding broke, the pages started falling out. After finishing a job and finally having a little money of my own, I took it to this bookshop to have it restored. The old man who owned it had this wonderful workshop. It smelled like leather and old parchment and glue, and for the first time since my mother was alive, I felt a sense of peace? I knew I wanted to learn how to save old books. To actually…create something, rather than just destroying all the time.”

He didn’t realize that his grip on Helen’s fingers had tightened, almost painfully so, until he’d finished speaking. He let up with a shaky sigh. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Do you…”

“Go on.”

They had come too far, not to ask anything, now.

“Do you remember your mother?”

“A little,” he admitted. “Though more…a feeling, of being with her? I was very small. She would sing to me, and I remember being in her lap, and feeling like nothing could hurt me.” A bitter laugh escaped him. “How wrong I was.”

“She must have been an amazing woman, for your father to risk running away with her.”

John nodded pensively. The similarities in his own current situation had not escaped him. “Yes, I’m sure she was. But did he have the right, knowing the risk? Knowing the danger he put her in?” He could not mask the feeling behind these words; he knew they spoke in double meanings and of their parallel circumstances, and in a way he was asking her permission, and it was all so heady and terrifying he could hardly stand it.

How do people live like this, he marveled? Feeling so much, all the time?

“That’s a fair question,” agreed Helen, nodding. “But maybe more importantly, I think if you could ask her if he’d been worth the risk…if you had been worth the risk…I think I know what she would have said. I am certain she would have said yes.”

Her eyes met his, the candlelight reflecting in those caramel orbs almost rendering them gold, and it took every iota of self-control John possessed not to drag her into his lap. Instead he settled for pressing his lips to her knuckles, so grateful for this woman who brought such light into his life.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, you do,” she answered quietly. “And it’s not about who deserves what, anyway.” It was about two people who like each other, who understand the risks, and who make a decision to be together—or not. She didn’t say that part aloud. She hoped she didn’t need to.

A few moments more, and John managed to regain his composure, though he didn’t let go of Helen’s hand. When he found his voice again, it came rough with emotion.

“Would you like to see my books?”

She smiled, and it was like the sun from behind a cloud.

“Yes.”

[fuckblast]

I hate cars and car culture but I need to get a driver's license this year so I can operate in this society. When I was afraid of spiders and 12 I researched the fuck out of them to understand them better. I was moving to the south where there were more spiders. I learned there are only two ones you need to really worry about (brown recluse and black widow). Brown recluses can be confused for wolf spiders so I spent a while on that and came out extremely passionate about wolf spiders! Did you know the mothers will often carry the thousands of young on their back? I'm such a spider guy now inspired because of the curiosity from the fear. I tried to get curious about the automobile in the same way. Bad results. There are way more than two types of automobile that you need to really worry about, in fact, any of them could kill you at any time. You can die as a passenger going as low as 15 mph, but that doesn't particularly matter as you can also be hit by another car at any time. Massive death machines that are in an arms race to only be bigger and brighter than the opponent. So I tried to look into car culture and boy howdy the deeper you go into that the more revulsive it becomes. It's very American, y'know, expounding the idea of freedom, when it's within the lines of the scars you'd crisscrossed into the country, made so that soldiers had an easier time moving about. There is of course the legacy of Henry Ford, who should be given so much more discredit than he receives. I'll save the American history textbook but maybe I should've read Cormac McCarthy instead and bought into the idealized version. I'll still think about my friends working in the car factories and those conditions. And I'm only going to glance on how much fucking constant money a car is; cost, gas, upkeep, repairs, since I hardly know the half of it from others complaints. I think freedom is too often used as a synonym for convenience, and I try to be aware about what is lost for convenience. I like my long walks and bike rides.

That said, in preparing myself to drive this year I am desperately searching for anything that motivates me or that I find likeable about the American automobile. And it's van art. It's the van as well, if you're going to be a vehicle, have purpose, let me use you as a second space, let me be able to lie down or carry a couch. Does this make me no better than the jacked up truck guys? Maybe no, I'd love a little smart car Hugo looking vehicle. I'd love an old short truck, if I can find one secondhand. Really it's about the art. I can try to think up something poetic to say but if you're going to guzzle around the road in a dangerous machine, fuck me, at least put a sick ass wizard on the side. I love a hyper detailed dragon being fought by a muscular man. Is that it? Is it almost a parody of car culture? Who cares, I'm getting through my driving lessons by thinking of a sick ass painted van.

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[infinitethree]

When the next lesson with Daz and Lee comes, Lucid pretty quickly clocks a weird vibe in the air.

But, well, it’s Daz and Lee. What could they possibly get up to that could be considered malicious?

Eventually, Lee turns to Daz and tells him, like a warning, “You’re stalling. Get it over with, Daz.”

And Daz…

Changes.

There’s no other way to describe it. Like a lightswitch, he flips from the guy that Lucid has known for years– whose soul he repaired from the bastardized loyalty enchantment shoved into it, who has become a pillar of the server, who has been so painfully kind and generous and good to–

To someone else.

“I knew I was an admin all along. I don’t trust you, because you remind me of Dream. The man who I considered a brother, my mentor, who ruined me. The loyalty enchantment you fixed…? I wrote most of it.”

None of that even begins to start to register before San’s extreme confusion bowls him over.

That makes two of them! Daz shouldn’t be able to lie to San, that’s not–

A chill goes down his spine as Daz gives him a humorless smile. It looks wrong on his face.

“Lying and acting are easy. It’s not hard to just–”

Oh, fuck, it is so disturbing to watch Daz’s expression and body language flip to something entirely different. It’s like he’s putting on a pair of clothes.

…Like he’s switching masks.

It’s exactly how Lucid saw him when he first arrived. Timid, head bowed, shoulders hunched, expression anxious and fearful. “I– it’s, uhm–! Being able to, to just– it’s not…it’s not impressive. I don’t– I’m not bragging. It’s not th– that big of, uhm, of a deal. I, I just…I’m sure anyone else could do it. If they wanted to.”

The mask gets swapped to the one Lucid knows better. Bright, bubbly, cheerful, expression warm and voice perky. “So, sure, I can like– lie good enough that the perpetual surveillance system never caught on but like…it’s not hard? You just gotta stare at yourself in the mirror for like, ever, and have a perfect mastery of your face and voice and body! Totally not that impressive.”

As if to drive the point home, the absolute worst is the way Daz erases everything.

No emotion to his voice, his face, his body language. He looks like a mannequin and it’s disturbing enough that Lucid will definitely have nightmares about that.

“I still do not trust you will not snap one day. Your existence as an admin Dream grates against me like blackstone does to your soul. The same eyes; the same voice; the same face; the same stupid fixation on fairness at the cost of all else. I resent your existence.”

Lee, wings poofed out in distress, snaps at him, “What the fuck?! Why did you have to break it like that?!”

Daz blinks, and emotions return. He tells Lee, a literal child, “I’m being blackmailed into revealing anything. Be grateful I didn’t make it worse.”

Granted, it’s kind of hard to focus on anything around San’s freakout, but Lucid croaks, “Who–?”

“DayDream,” Daz seethes, and, oh, okay!

This is a person who can effortlessly lie and is very much not an outlier vis-a-vis the Tommy capacity for spite.

Cool. Awesome. Lucid is going to have words with Day about how little he wants to bear the brunt of Daz’s resentment about being forced to out himself.

He swallows. “I…am going to guess you, uh– are so good with code because you already know all of this.”

“I can out-code you in a lot of ways,” Daz scoffs.

When Lucid squints at him, Lee shrugs helplessly. “He’s been teaching me for a few weeks in secret. He explains it better.”

Daz’s hands move, and suddenly Lucid’s console is forcibly redirected to a page of code.

…Oh, he does not like what he’s seeing.

Teeth bared in a mockery of a smile, Daz tells him, “That’s what I used to make sure the idiots of my original server were ignorant that I killed Dream. He made dinner in a pathetic, worthless attempt at an olive branch. I ate it, composed that code, and jammed the knife in his throat. Then I mocked him while I watched him bleed out on our blackstone tile floor.”

That sure does explain how Daz realized the effects of long-term blackstone and obsidian exposure to a fully ascended admin.

Staring him down as if daring him to say something, Daz continues, “As he respawned, I threw both halves of our claims in the fire. Our server was silent, so he could just…go back and watch.”

It should horrify him, but all Lucid can say and think is, “Good. Regardless of what he was like before he hit that point…? That code was– there was no way he wasn’t aware it was killing you.”

A bitter scoff escapes Daz. “Not like I could stop from screaming with every order. But I was counting on it killing me. The T3 gave me a better option for revenge, though– because walking away would mean he stayed there, waiting, for the rest of his life.”

Lucid shudders. He does not want to piss this guy off now or ever.

If he hadn’t seen the enchantment, he’d feel some pity for Dream.

Instead, he’s just glad Daz was able to exercise some sort of power in that situation.

Lee suddenly pipes up. “He’s the one who told me about Piglins. And, uh, is teaching me about Endfolk.”

He squints. “Endfolk? So they’re smart, too?” “Sapient is the word you’re looking for,” Daz sniffs. Lucid can hear the unspoken idiot, and it’s surreal as fuck to hear from Daz.

“Sapient, then. So, uh– are we…going to introduce them to the server, too, or–”

“Absolutely the fuck not,” Daz snaps. “Endfolk customs and culture revolve around using words to fuck over other hauntings. You play by their rules or they attack you. On a server like this, that’ll lead to full-blown wars. Wars that will leave hundreds of living, sentient beings very much dead forever.”

Ah.

Daz rants, “You’d be lucky to be allowed to shadow a meeting with them– Lee isn’t allowed to do it until he can pass a test to my satisfaction. He’s too easy to traumatize with that shit.”

…Lucid gets the impression that Daz wouldn’t mind him getting traumatized, though.

“I– will trust your judgment on that, I guess?” “You guess,” Daz sneers.

He makes a face and says, “So sue me for not keeping up with– with all of this! It’s kind of a lot to drop on me all at once, you know!”

Daz gives him a withering look. “Blame DayDream, then.” “Oh, I very much do.”

Lee points out, “But Dad was right, you know. Lucid– it’s not fair to keep you in the dark. Not when you’ll both be working together…”

Another scoff comes from Daz. “I only agreed to do any of this because I wasn’t going to let you be trained alone.”

The implications of what he was afraid of speak volumes about how deeply traumatic his past actually was. Not the parts he’s lied about– the actual past.

It makes him wonder…”You haven’t been doing therapy right, have you?”

There’s a roll of his eyes. “I’m being forcibly switched to Iatros, so stay out of it. I don’t need you on my case about that, too.”

…Wonderful, they’re going to share a therapist. That’s…at least ‘Tros is familiar with admin shit?

…Probably why he’s being switched, actually.

After taking a long, deep breath, and with a moment to gather his thoughts, he finally asks the big question;

“So, what now?”

Daz narrows his eyes like he doesn’t understand. Lucid clarifies, “If you don’t like or trust me, it’s not fair to make you study under me–” “I’m not leaving you alone with Lee.”

Hmm, okay then.

He tries another angle, “Alright. Then…maybe you can teach me?”

When Daz doesn’t immediately tell him to fuck off, he continues, “If you’re so much better than me, I could probably learn a lot from you. And if we’re not talking through you trying to pretend to be someone you’re not–”

“An act that fooled you, I’ll point out.” “Yeah, obviously. But it also meant that you had to channel things you clearly knew already through Lee or, uh, acting like you’re just now figuring them out. Now, you can just– I dunno, use this to rub in how superior you actually are? I don’t really, uh, know what the real you is like.”

Daz drums his fingers on his arm. The silence stretches until he sighs and mutters, “...I guess I can show you a few things.”

And…so sue him, Lucid is actually kind of excited to learn what Daz’s actual skills are in regards to this.

He must have been holding back, but was already very impressive.

As weird as this whole situation is, as disturbing as it is to know that Daz was actually far more competent than he ever let on…

Well. He can’t really say there’s no upsides to him showing his hand. Willingly or not, Daz opening up means that they can actually help him…and that Daz can help them, too.

[yuurei20]

Silver Info Compilation part 7: Silver and Malleus

While Silver is quieter in general than Sebek he seems equally devoted to Malleus, with voice lines like, “I hope to attend a Night Raven College ceremony alongside Malleus”, “I’ve no desire to reflect poorly on Malleus”, “I train myself ardently to better protect Malleus and his entourage” and “The stronger I get, the better I can protect Malleus. That is why I seek as much power as I can get.”

When Malleus compliments Kalim and Deuce during New Years he says that one might say they have “taken on the mien of a true guardian”, and when Sebek responds with poorly Silver responds that his envy his “understandable”.

Silver worries about performing poorly in a class and being an embarrassment to Malleus in a vignette, and explains to Idia that he “cannot let anything happen to Malleus”.

Idia comments that maybe Silver’s loyalty is just a result of scared to defy Malleus, and Silver responds, “I will do anything for the man I have pledged my loyalty to.”

Vil has learned how to take advantage of Silver’s loyalty to Malleus manipulate him, namedropping Malleus to pressure Silver into participating in a Film Club project (“Does he mean to say that I will sully Malleus’ good name if I refuse?…I cannot bring shame upon Malleus”) and to get Silver to join his group during Beanfest.

During Spectral Soiree Cater encourages Silver to share his woes with himself and Jamil, with the ulterior motive of picking up “some secret intel on Malleus Draconia”.

While just as loyal to Malleus as Sebek Silver and Sebek differ in opinion on how strict they ought to be with guarding him: Silver tells Malleus that if he ever finds Sebek's presence stifling he should tell him “as clearly as possible”, while Sebek insists he wouldn’t dream of stifling their liege.

Silver expresses exasperation of Sebek’s insistence to do things like handle clothing stains on Malleus’ behalf despite Malleus being perfectly capable of such simple feats of magic.

In a vignette Silver explains to Kalim that he and Sebek got into an argument over the strictness of their patrols, with Sebek accusing him of negligence toward Malleus.

Silver is distraught by the thought that he has hurt Malleus by failing to understand his feelings, saying that he couldn’t even eat his favorite risotto at lunch, as “Whenever I lifted my spoon, I would think of Malleus and stop.”

(After Kalim reveals that he “would be completely lost” without Jamil, however, Silver decides that being overprotective must be avoided at all costs.)

In a vignette Malleus invites Silver out to introduce him to the school’s gargoyles as a part of his Gargoyle Study Club activities, but is consistently disappointed in Silver’s inability to tell the difference between a gargoyle and a grotesque, and his presumption that gargoyles are generally monsters.

After receiving a lecture Silver tells Malleus that he feels they have grown closer, and he wishes to gift Malleus with a gargoyle for his room.

The vignette ends with Malleus beginning a new lesson on gargoyles to teach Silver “at greater length.”Silver losing track of Malleus is a common theme repeated in Phantom Bride and at least one vignette, but in the main story we see that it is not exactly Silver’s fault: it seems there are times when Malleus actively runs away from him and Sebek, leaving Silver to take the blame.Malleus says there “is something to be said” for the level of perseverance that drives Silver to train hard every morning.

The two characters have interesting overlap through lines about things that do not betray you: hard work for Silver, stars for Malleus.

・Silver Info Compilation Part 1: Humor ・Silver Info Compilation Part 2: Sleeping ・Silver Info Compilation part 3: Animals, Art and Floyd ・Silver Info Compilation part 4: Appearance and Emotions ・Silver Info Compilation part 5: Sebek (pt1) ・Silver Info Compilation part 6: Silver and Sebek (pt2)

[kuvvydraws]

How does Praetorius feel about his work? (Or that oc ask re: mistakes the characters made). Always love to see swapfall interpretations!

This is a very interesting question!

The Underground in this AU is a hopeless but very functional society, with a strong Royal sitting on the throne (Toriel, name pending) and a strict organization when it comes to political and security forces. It feels like a very structured, straightforward culture.

Praetorius was raised to be a soldier, as he showed aptitudes from a very young age - unlike his brother. He was taken to the Castle and subjected to an unforgiving training regime to polish him into the tool he is nowadays. He was strong-willed, sharp and intelligent, and he was quick to learn how brutality is the oil that keeps the cogs turning smoothly.

He is very good at what he does: he's organized, astute and painfully objective when it comes to making hard choices, and understands how maintaining the system, as cruel as it is, is the only thing that keeps the Underground collapsing on itself.

Regarding his job.... He lives in denial, as simplistic as that sounds. As the Commander-in-chief of the Guard, the duties he must fulfill are unavoidable, and even if his character permitted a less thorough approach to them, his own survival instincts wouldn't allow it - anything that goes wrong is a potential death sentence.

That lesson got burned in his mind when he was forced to execute his father for dooming the Underground by accidentally destroying the collected human SOULs.

So, Praetorius doesn't fail, he's been honed to work as an emotionless machine. This is an incredibly unhealthy way to live, and his mental health is in shambles, which is why rather than have any self awareness, he moves through life like a bulldozer.

He's unstoppable. He's unmerciful and implacable. He's incorruptible. He's absolute and inhuman.

He has been broken into the ultimate instrument of oppression.

Praetorius is very detached from his reality, while also painfully aware of it, and he does have moments of dissociation, when reality comes to him and hits him like a jackhammer, leaving him on the verge of falling down. He always pulls through, wiring his mind back towards his blank, soldier mask.

It wouldn't be until years after monsters Surface that he would realize how much of an empty vessel his training and life oppressed him to be. He doesn't have substance, he's nothing but a sword and a shield, a clock ticking with every passing second, a bat and a chain to keep the common people under the Crown's reign. His will and his freedom are nonexistent.

His role Underground was key for their society to work and flow and survive, as riots would have sentenced everyone. He never had room to grow as an individual, as a person with preferences and opinions, because he was never given choices - he was selected and pushed forward over and over until he reached perfection, in the coldest sense of the word.

After Surfacing, once the ruthlessness of his role decreases, he finds himself empty, with nothing to drive him, and that's when he finally gets a chance to destroy and rebuild himself into something worthy - whatever that criteria might follow.

_____°°°_____°°°_____°°°_____°°°_____°°°_____°°°_____°°°_____°°°

Regarding the mistake prompt, it wouldn't go about him making a mistake in a literal sense, for that would have cost him his life, but more towards the path of regrets.

When he was very young, he still had time to spend with his brother and father, not so much after he was taken away. Instead of doing so, every free moment he had he invested training, so their relationship was never something significant. Years after he moved to the Castle, his brother showed up, following a different type of training to become a Judge, but Praetorius again rejected chasing his brother to rebuild their relationship in favor of his own training. At the moment, it was the only logical choice he could make, for any time he wasted not preparing to be the best version of himself could be interpreted as lack of will to serve the Crown.

All his choices were made in the spirit of survival, and as such he cannot regret them.

But he does believe, if things would have been different, that he could have stopped his father and his experiments, which led him to destroying the human SOULs. He could have sought his brother after his father's mistake, and maybe convinced him to give him a lesser sentence. He could have refused to execute his father, and maybe run away, even if there was nowhere to go in a sealed cave.

He could have tried, pretending there was HOPE, that they could have a future beyond the claws of the Royals, and he would have died, along with his father. Maybe he would have sentenced his brother as well, just by approaching him with disloyal intentions.

Instead, he followed the script. The Judge determined a punishment, and he, as the Commander, saw it through. And the cogs kept turning.

[ginoeh]

knocks gently on your door to whisper:

#99 for the spotify wrapped ✨️

Hey Vi, thanks for the ask! The song is Blood Be Fluid by Emilia Romana.

Okay, so this one turned out to be a bit more complicated than I first thought! I hope no one will want to skin me alive for what I came up with - there's no fluff here at all lol. Don't despair, though, I'll likely never write this one XD.

The song is a slow piece, dreamy with a dark voice and overall very thoughtful. The lyrics are more associations than story. So I did some quick association games myself to get the ball rolling.

This one would be a story about innocence lost, being in a dark and cold place and yet clawing yourself out of the lethargy of loss. And about the consequences of doing that at any cost.

I'd go for something featuring Hob, spanning the timeframe of 1589 to 2023. It starts out with his 17th century. He's miserable, starving, dying every other day, the bright future, the innocent awe with which he looked at his fortune is long trampled in the mud beneath the boots of the uncaring. And yet, his blood still flows…

What's there to look forward to, to hope for? Hob claws his way to the meeting with Dream. He starts anew, changes his doom into something better. There's nothing but hope and endless life for him, after all.

But hope and grit and the search for things lost can lead you astray.

So there is Hob, gorging himself on hope and life while stealing both and more from innocents. Things like that have consequences - need to have consequences.

This would be a try at a redemption arc for Hob, in which he, after recognizing what he did when helping the triangular trade along, finds out that there is a price to pay. Not to regain his own lost morals and make amends for his eternal soul, but for the simple act of running afoul his own destiny. He is given a task (by the fates/furies maybe?) that will persist as long as he keeps living: He must give all hope to others and keep none for himself. He is to be an eternal conduit of one of existence's driving forces.

(There is no punishment for him if he fails, not in the traditional sense. He doesn’t know what would happen, he only knows he wouldn’t suffer more or less than anyone else. But then again, what would humanity be like if there was no hope to gain, to give, to lose, to find? If there was no middle ground between dreams, desires, despair and reality? It would likely spell disaster on an unimaginable scale. And Hob really does love humanity after all!)

There'd be the meetings with Dream each century, with Hob trying to find common ground in 1889. Inbetween, Hob would meet the other Endless, learn about function without reward. This isn't a particularly easy lesson for Hob Gadling who was always greedy and mostly just interested in his own gain.

But it is what he has to learn by shadowing Death, Destiny, Desire and Despair. The 20th century isn't an easy one for him. He makes mistakes that cost more than he thought.

We'd meet him in 2023, finally a changed man, perpetually aware of what he's done in centuries past and much more attuned to the needs of humanity than ever before (instead of just his own needs). The last step of the journey (to where, he doesn't quite know) is to shadow Dream.

In the end, one way or another, Hob would become Hope - an incarnation of it that’s not just some kind of sparklingly optimistic can-do-no-bad Hope!Hob but the thing that lifts you up as well as cuts you down, bright and clear just as much as cruel and manic.

I don’t know how I would spin the end: it would not be softly romantic Dreamling. In a hopeful AU, we’d end with two entities that are endlessly drawn to each other just as much as they clash. But Hope!Hob will persist to the very end of the universe because hope always dies last.

Now an alternate idea is where more of the tw's come in:

In a much darker AU, after a hotly burning and unhealthily dependant relationship between Hope and Dream, we’d end it like the comics, nothing changed (and Dream lost Hope because both are ephemeral, gossamer) - after, Hob/Hope will have to decide whether he will keep doing his duty the way he has learned or if he wants to remember his human roots: maybe his lifetime as Hob is over, and he chooses another way to try and regain the lost innocence of his early years.

He has, after all, still the option to take Death’s hand and end their original deal.

Then, there'll be a new Hope.

But as I said, I’ll never write this. It dips into places where I don’t think I can safely go. If anyone else feels inspired to take this (or parts of it), feel free to run with it!

And that's it from me for The Spotify Wrapped Thing. Have a good New Year folks 🥂