#How does a safari work

[tripaccomplice]

Game On! A Rundown of What to Expect on a Safari Game Drive

Timbavati Reserve, South Africa An African safari is common entry on a lot of people’s bucket lists. It was certainly on mine until March of 2009 when I visited the Timbavati & Klaserie Reserves in the Northeastern corner of South Africa, which is just to the west of Kruger National Park. Now that I’ve gotten through all the points on the compass with that last sentence, allow me to share my…

[sleepsi]

Something I drew in the @daycarefriendpickup ‘s magma! Also I don’t think I’ve spent so long drawing in one day before, this one took a longgggg time.

[clarenecessities]

He-man.org will close in 5 days.

He-man.org has been a staple of the Masters of the Universe community since the early days, originating as an email list that worked to document episodes before anything (not footage, not lists, nothing) was available online. It grew into a sprawling, multi-faceted beast of a thing, including an encyclopedia (an in-house wiki), merch lists, a marketplace, forums, anything you could think of.

Several years ago now, the main site went down for updates/maintenance. For a few weeks, we were told, maybe months. The forums remained open for fans to communicate, and barring a period of downtime earlier this year things were going smoothly.

Yesterday, the owner of the site, Val Staples, announced the site would be closed on November 14th, 2023. Six days later. We are currently attempting to contact him, to see if he’s interested in selling, and if he means closed as in “no new posts” or closed as in deleted entirely. Regardless of its eventual fate, the archiving of these forums is essential to preserving the history of the franchise, the fandom, and the brand.

TO SHE-RA (and MotU) FANS SPECIFICALLY: I have personally used these forums to answer questions that could be answered nowhere else. Had I not had access to them, I would never have been able to prove that Purrsia was fake, or found so much unpublished concept art, or discovered that Scott “Toyguru” Neitlich personally wrote Catra’s MOTUC bio (even if he’s put off answering my questions about it for over a year now). Forum members have conducted interviews with the likes of Jon Seisa, Cathy Larson, Janice Varney-Hamlin—essential figures in the very foundations of POP, and those interviews revealed and recorded priceless information for future generations (me! you! us!) to find. Did you know Cathy Larson named Adora? That she originally pushed for “Dorian”, after her own daughter? We cannot let this treasure trove disappear into the ether(ia).

TO THE UNAFFILIATED: Please help. Pretty please. If you’ve ever liked my art or my writing or my haphazard blogging, ever, at all, consider archiving just one board. Just one page. Literally anything helps. I am spiraling into madness & this is my library of Alexandria. The mythical one that was totally unique and persevered nowhere else and was destroyed in a single cataclysmic event. Pretty pretty please help.

HOW TO HELP:

Archive.org has several ways to upload shit but most of them are longer term than “a few days” so we’re focusing on two (which can be run simultaneously): Save Page Now, and browser extensions. From their help page:

1. Save Page Now

Put a URL into the form, press the button, and we save the page. You will instantly have a permanent URL for your page. Please note, this method only saves a single page, not the whole site.

We want to keep outlinks and screenshots wherever possible. The Archive does not keep your IP address, so your submission is anonymous.

2. Browser extensions and add-ons

Install the Wayback Machine Chrome extension in your browser. Go to a page you want to archive, click the icon in your toolbar, and select Save Page Now. We will save the page and give you a permanent URL.

One plus to installing the extension is that as you surf around, when you run into a missing page they will alert you if we have a saved copy.

More extensions, apps, and add-ons:

Firefox add-on

Safari Extension

iOS app

Android app

I strongly encourage you to use these tools even if you aren’t helping with this project/after it ends. Documenting and preserving information is essential in this day and age & The Internet Archive is at the heart of it. Please support them however you can.

I’m serious about paying you, though I may need more communication with folks I don’t know so we can coordinate/verify shit gets done. I think this is a worthwhile pursuit in itself but I recognize your time is valuable & like, people gotta eat. DM me if you’re interested and we’ll talk. I may need to adjust pay depending how many people bite but I’ll do what I can

[gothcsz]

imagine pornstar javi having an only fans 😩

girl i'd subscribe so fast

oh hell yeah nonnie, me too... top subscriber, working 3 jobs just to support this sexy man. who's with me?! 🙂‍↕️ tagging @miss-oranje-disco-dancer & @almostempty because duhhh 🖤 i hope i did this justice!

tags: f!reader, smut babes, onlyfans!javi let's gooo, he talks you through it, dirty talk duh, masturbation (f&m), use of pet names (doll, baby, sweetheart, muñeca, bella), roleplaying (?), i have no idea how OF works so just vibe with me, everyone say thank you to your bestie, unbeta'd, if i missed any other tags pls let me know ok thx. ~ 3.1k w/c

p.s. if you’re into pornstar!javi you should check this out 🖤

look at how yummy this dick is 👀

You frown as you read the message preview sent from your best friend. Your eyes flit up to check the time.

It’s barely past two in the morning. Does this bitch ever sleep? Granted— you’re also up late.

You tap on the notification before it disappears, going into your message thread with her and you see the link attached to her horny message.

why are you sending me unsolicited dick pics at 2 am? what would your man think of this?

She replies right away.

first of all i don’t have a man second of all it’s a video and just please go watch it

You’re confused by that first message since she was just raving about this guy she met at her job but you let it go, tapping on the link and waiting for safari to open it up.

The OnlyFans website loads and prompts you to log in before continuing. You go back to your messages.

tabling the i don’t have a man convo for another time can’t see it because i don’t have an account 

She’s quick to send you her log in and you laugh out loud— of course she’s a registered user.

You type in her email and password, patiently waiting before the post she sent you loads and your eyes widen.

Just the thumbnail has you intrigued. A man, dressed in a tailored navy suit sans the jacket and tie, the fabric of his white collared shirt stretched across his broad shoulders and chest, sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

The title reads: Late Night at the Office. 

The transparent play button teases you, almost daring you to give in to the intrigue.

So you tap it.

It begins with the mystery man seated, the frame capturing him from the tip of his strong nose down to the top of his thighs. His features are striking from what you can see— plump, pink lips framed by a neatly trimmed mustache, adding a hint of rugged sophistication to his appearance.

His legs are spread wide, unapologetically taking up space, the rich leather of the chair creaking subtly beneath him. His thighs strain against the fabric of his suit pants.

There’s something about the way he sits, so sure of himself, so confident in his own skin, that draws your eye immediately to the center of the frame. One hand rests lazily on his thigh, the other cradles a phone, as if he’s deep into an intimate call. His eyes, though hidden, seem locked on you through the screen, pulling you deeper into his fantasy.

And then, he speaks.

“Have to stay late, sweetheart. I’m sorry.”

His voice slides through the speakers of your phone like liquid velvet— deep and smooth, carrying an accent that’s definitely southern but tinged with something else, wrapping itself around each word like a caress.

“Don’t be upset, doll. Let me make it up to you.”

His tone is gentle but authoritative, luring you in. The air feels charged, and despite the fact that you’re watching from behind a screen, it feels as though his words are meant for you and you alone.

“Why don’t you undress for me and lean back,” the command is soft yet irresistible.

Your breath catches in your throat, a soft gasp you weren’t expecting, as your thighs instinctively press together beneath the plush comforter, seeking some form of relief from the growing ache.

It’s as if he has some kind of power over you, the pull in his voice coaxing you into compliance. Your skin prickles with anticipation as you glance around your quiet studio apartment, almost instinctively checking if anyone might be watching; like your best friend who lured you into this horny trap in the first place. 

But of course, there’s no one else here— just you and his low, hypnotic voice filling the space around you.

You pause it, antsy fingers reaching for the hem of your nighttime slip dress, the soft fabric sliding effortlessly off your skin then being tossed aside. Propping your phone up with a decorative pillow at the edge of the bed, you angle it so you’re able to see him perfectly.

You feel a rush of warmth, excitement, as you resume the video and settle back against the mountain of pillows behind you.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day, baby,” he murmurs, his tone low and husky, the faintest edge of a smirk curling at the corner of his mouth. “Can’t stop picturing you, lying in bed… all warm and soft, just waiting for me to take care of you.”

Your lips part instinctively, tongue grazing the corner as you feel the pull of lust tightening in your core. Your nipples, already taut from the cool air in your space, ache for attention.

You shift, thighs rubbing together again, unable to stop your body’s response. His voice feels like it’s seeping directly into your skin, making it impossible to sit still.

“I want you to touch yourself for me,” he orders so tenderly and impossible to refuse. “Slowly, sweetheart. Just run your fingers over those soft thighs of yours… don’t rush.”

You obey, hands traversing down the length of your torso until they’re at your thighs, fingertips grazing your skin lightly as you follow his instructions. Your breath hitches again, heart beating louder in your ears as his voice continues to weave around you, wrapping you in the intimacy of the moment.

“That’s it,” he purrs, “Let me hear those little gasps. I want you to think of my hands doing that for you. Think of me sliding my fingers up and down your beautiful body… teasing you.”

And so you do. You think of his larger, surely rougher touch at your inner thighs. The growing pressure at the apex of your legs builds with every syllable, but it’s not just his voice that has you derailing.

It’s everything. 

As the camera lingers on him, you watch his free hand move to the top button of his shirt. His fingers work with deliberate precision as he undoes it then the ones that follow. His movements are slow, taunting you as the shirt falls open, exposing the smooth, muscled lines of his chest.

“You want to see more, don’t you?” he asks the camera, and the teasing edge in his voice makes your clit twitch. “I’ll show you, baby. But you need to keep touching yourself for me. I want you to feel how wet I get you. Imagine me right there, taking care of that aching little cunt of yours.”

He’s intoxicating, and as he slips another button open, revealing more of his firm, toned chest, you slip your hand to your pussy, your body begging for more. You can almost feel the heat of his skin against yours, the way he’s undressing for you, the slow reveal of what you’re aching to see.

He’s unhurried, intentional— he knows exactly what he’s doing, how to keep you, the viewer, on edge.

“Let me hear you,” he commands, fingers grazing his buckle now, threatening to undo his belt. “Tell me what you want, baby. Tell me how badly you want me to touch you… how much you need me.”

His words have a gush of arousal leaking from your cunt, a whine pushing past your lips as you lightly run a finger down the seam of your folds.

“Need you so bad,” you murmur to yourself, not caring that there’s no one there to hear you, no one in the room but the phantom of his presence. He’s completely transported you into another world, and you’re too far gone to feel any shame in talking to him as if he’s right there in front of you— or over the phone with how he’s set this scene up.

All he’s done is talk, but it’s enough to render you a puddled mess. The heat licking at your core is undeniable, each instruction winding you tighter.

You can’t help but wonder— are you really this starved for a good fuck, or is this faceless stranger just that skilled at weaving desire into every syllable?

His deep, commanding tone oozes with intention, a carefully crafted tease that seeps through the screen. It’s clear he’s an expert at this— at knowing exactly how to pull you in and leave you aching for more. Now, your curiosity is piqued; what other sinful content could he possibly have on his page?

It suddenly makes perfect sense why your friend is subscribed to him. The moment you come, you know you’ll be rushing to make an account of your own, no hesitation, ready to drain your bank account if it means getting more of him— every cent worth it just to see what else he can do to you.

He’s catering to something raw, drawing out a fantasy you didn’t even realize you had.

“I need you just as bad. Real fuckin’ shame I’m stuck at the office… my cock misses you, sweetheart.”

Your breath quickens as the clink of his belt being undone echoes through the speaker, slipping the leather free from its loops, and you catch a glimpse of the outline of his dick, thick and prominent beneath the tailored slacks.

The sight sends a surge of heat through your body, your skin prickling with desire, yearning for more.

His fingers toy with the waistband of his pants now, brushing tantalizingly close to the bulge straining against the fabric, teasing both you and himself with the promise of what’s to come.

His voice is low and seductive, dripping like molten honey, each word striking you like a touch.

“I wish I could be in bed with you right now,” he grunts, and you swear you can feel his eyes locked on you through the screen, as if he can see every inch of your trembling body. “You have no idea how badly I want to worship you… feel your skin against mine. I’d start slow. My lips, my hands, they’d be everywhere. I’d make you come so many times it’d make you stupid.”

You moan, finally dipping two of your fingers between your wet folds and massaging at your clit, spreading your slick all over.

“Go head, play with that pretty little pussy. Use your other hand to touch on those perfect fuckin’ tits of yours.”

Your free hand instinctively goes up to cup your breast as you imagine him there with you, his body pressing you into the mattress, lips tracing over every inch until he’s suckling on your pert nipples then moving down to where you need him most.

“I want to taste you,” he continues, his fingers popping the button of his pants then the zipper, “Feel you quivering on my tongue, feel you melt on my fingers as I fuck them into that tight cunt. I won't stop until you’re shaking, begging me to let you breathe.”

His hand slips beneath the fabric as he shifts in his seat, and you can see the subtle movements of him touching himself. The sight alone takes your breath away, the need coiling inside you, growing unbearable as your own fingers pick up the pace, rubbing the sensitive flesh while your other hand works to pinch and tug at your nipple.

“And when I finally break you, sweetheart,” he whispers, sending shivers all throughout your body, “when you’re crying, trembling… pleading me to stop, that’s when I’ll slide my cock inside. You’d be so full, so wet, and I wouldn’t stop until I’ve reminded you who you belong to, until I’ve had you again and again. Until you’re stuffed so full of my cum that it’s leaking out of your fuckin’ mouth.”

He finally pulls his dick out and you gasp loudly. It’s fucking beautiful. Thick, long, a few shades lighter than the brown skin of his chest with a glistening pearl of precum right at his slit. He spreads it around the crown of his cock and you salivate, imagining how good the weight of him would feel on your tongue.

Yummy in-fucking-deed.

“Fuck yourself on your fingers baby, then stick two into your pretty mouth and suck on them.”

You do as you’re told, sinking two into your fluttering entrance while the ones at your tit slip into your mouth, eyes fluttering close as you suck on them like they’re his cock. It feels so good, your thumb pressed up against your clit— the stickiness of your arousal aiding your fingers in pumping in and out of you.

The sound of him spitting snaps you from the mini daze, pulling your attention lazily back to the screen. There he is— his large hand wrapped tightly around the thick length of his cock, glistening and throbbing as he begins to stroke it languidly. 

“Got me so hard,” he grunts, his voice thick with lust, “just picturing you with your fingers in your mouth like a good little slut.” His grip on the phone by his ear tightens, you can tell by the way his knuckles become flushed and you whimper.

“Choke on them,” he growls, “Let me hear you gag.”

Obedient as ever, you push your digits past your tongue and deeper, your breath growing ragged. The moment they hit the back of your throat, you gag, the wet sound loud and raw in the quiet of your apartment.

You sputter around them repeatedly, eyes filling with tears. Choking sounds echoing off the walls, bouncing back at you in a symphony of depravity. Saliva pools in then out of your mouth, dripping down your chin, and the mess of it only heightens the filthy pleasure coursing through you.

You can feel how slick you are, the sheets beneath you now damp from your horniness, every fiber of your being aching for release.

His pace on the screen quickens, the sound of his bated breath mingles with the obscene smacking of his fist against the skin of his cock, grunting between strokes. His dick looks even bigger as it pulses in his grip, thick and veined and covered in his spit.

“Bet you’re dripping for me,” his words are strained. “I can just picture it… how wet you are, soaking those sheets. Can’t wait to hear you come undone for me, baby.”

Your fingers, still wet from the mess of your mouth, slide down your body, grazing over your hard nipples before switching with the ones between your legs, where your pussy is throbbing. You moan at your own heady taste, the relief of your saliva soaked digits in your cunt almost overwhelming.

The tension builds, every stroke of his hand matching the movement of your fingers, the friction pushing you closer to the edge.

“Ahhh yesyesyes— just like that.” You whine, removing your fingers from your mouth and bringing them down to your nipples again to pinch and pull; anything to heighten the already intense pleasure you’re feeling.

The room feels thick with sexual tension, the filthy sounds of your wetness mix with his groans through the speakers, creating an intoxicating melody that pushes you further into your own climax.

“I’d have your pussy stretched out so good,” he continues, hand tightening around his cock as he pumps faster now, thrusting his hips upwards. “Have you feeling me for days… filling your sweet cunt until all you can do is squirt all over this cock.”

The things you’d do to make that happen. To have him bend and twist and fuck you in a myriad of pleasurable positions. To feel the thickness of his dick leaving you sore and hurting, absolutely helpless. These desires send you careening toward the edge.

“C’mon baby, give it to me.”

Your fingers move faster, abusing your cunt as your hips buck into your hand. Your breath comes in short, desperate gasps as your whole body tightens.

You can feel it coming, that sweet rush of pleasure towering over you, until it crashes down in a wave so intense, you cry out.

“Oh fuck!”

You spasm, back arching off the bed as your digits do all the right moves, chasing the high. In a flood of pure ecstasy, your pussy pulses and clenches, a gush of wetness soaking the sheets as you come hard, giving in to the overwhelming euphoria.

Drool leaks from your mouth like a feral animal, your chest heaving, and your eyes lock on the screen, pupils dilated, watching as he strokes himself through his own climax, his voice thick with satisfaction.

“Good girl,” he breathes, his cock twitching in his hand, thick ropes of his milky cum spilling over his fist as he finishes. “Made a mess all over my lap. Wish you were here to lick it up. Getting to feel that wicked tongue of yours on my spent cock would be like fucking heaven, mi muñeca bella.”

Just when you thought he couldn’t get any fucking sexier; he goes and speaks fucking Spanish. You’re in love. 

You’re left exhausted, trembling, and utterly satisfied. Your body hums with the aftershocks, still riding the wave of your orgasm, and all you can do is lie there. 

Your fingers lazily tracing the wet mess between your thighs, hissing at the sensitivity, as you catch your breath, the screen flickering with his smirking lips.

“I’ll be home soon,” he purrs, “Take a nap so I can wake you up by burying my tongue inside that used pussy.”

A shiver runs down your spine, and you let out a frustrated sigh, wishing— desperately— that this wasn’t just a video, but reality. A real call from a real man, someone who could be on their way to you right now. You stare at his disheveled, post-climax appearance on the screen for a moment longer before the video fades out, the last remnants of fantasy slowly dissolving as you blink yourself back to reality.

You swing your legs over the edge of the bed, muscles still quivering, and bend down to pick up your slip dress, your legs wobbly as you walk to the bathroom to clean up. 

oh my fucking god that was amazing

You text your friend once you’re back in bed, having pulled off the loose sheet that you ruined and thankful that it didn’t seep through to the fitted one.

right? i need him so bad you should see some of his other stuff. fucking gold you’re welcome 💋

You scoff, a breathy laugh, as you ‘HAHA’ react to her message. Still, her words stick with you as you open the browser, logging out of her account. The curiosity from before tugs at you harder than ever now, and without a second thought, you find yourself signing up for your own subscription.

When the prompt to choose a username appears, you hesitate, fingers hovering over the keyboard until a sly smile spreads across your lips.

@muneca_bella

Perfect.

[beenbaanbuun]

fever w/ kang yeosang

words - an amount 🙂‍↕️

genre - hurt/comfort, sickfic

warnings - food avoidance because of illness, mentions of vomiting, reader is a little bratty but it’s the fever talking, yeosang is tired :((, not proof read

——————————————————————————

“you need to eat something, baby,” yeosang grumbles, arm folded crossly over his half-exposed pecs. you can’t help but focus on the way he’s standing there in nothing but a tank top and some shorts while you’re sat shivering in one of the many hoodies that you’ve stolen from his closet. you’ve been blaming the fever for how cold you seem to be at the minute, but you’ve always ran a little colder than your boyfriend. whenever he needs a sweater, you need a sweater, a coat and a scarf. you’re just a little nesh, you suppose.

your eyes flicker around the kitchen, studying everything that crosses your vision. perhaps you could have some toast, you think as your eyes land on the half-finished loaf of bread on the counter. then you think about how heavy your stomach feels, even when it’s empty, and you realise that perhaps toast isn’t the best option. you turn your nose up and move on to the bowl of fruit that yeosang had just refilled this morning. the scent of the bananas alone is enough to make you feel sick, and perhaps the citrus fruits aren’t the best choice when you’ve been struggling to keep food down.

“i’m only going to throw it up again,” you argue, trying your hardest to make your expression pathetic and sad. you commit to it, bringing out the sad arched brows and the big wet eyes. your bottom lip juts out just a little and for extra effect, you can’t help but wobble it a little. for a moment of two, you’re almost sure it’ll work. yeosang’s eyes soften and his arms go limp and fall back to his sides. you’re almost positive that he’ll let you off with another day of medicine and water, you can practically feel it on your tongue—

“you don’t know until you try.”

your shoulders sink upon hearing your words and your features drop, expressing only apathy and defeat. sure, the puppy dog eyes have never worked on him before, but there’s a first time for everything. you were certain that this would be that time.

“yeosang!” you whine, trying to grab his attention as he turns to face the countertop. he whines your name back in exactly the same nasally tone you used. “please! my throat already hurts from all the acid; i just want one day where i don’t throw up. it’ll make me feel less miserable.”

he ignores you, lifting his phone from the counter and typing a few words into safari. you wish you could see i what it says, but from your position, huddled up on a dining chair—which you would only move from if a hefty bribe was offered your way—you can’t even dream of looking around his oversized torso.

damn him for getting buff.

“google says banana’s are goo—”

“no,” you cut him off, head shaking wildly like a petulant child.

“baby~”

“they smell bad!”

with a sigh, yeosang goes back to looking.

“dry brown rice?” he offers meekly, already foreseeing the outcome of his offer. he doesn’t even have to turn around to see your face screwed up in displeasure; it’s already so clear in his mind. “nevermind, it was a stupid suggestion.”

you hum in agreement, the small sound making him crack a small smile. despite being incredibly difficult, yeosang can admit that you do have your sweet moments while you’re feverish. your mind may be muddled and your body doing everything in its power to make your life a living hell, but you still somehow manage to put a smile on his face.

if he wasn’t desperate to not catch whatever 18th century plague has taken up residence in your body, he’d spin around and kiss you. squish your cheeks together like he always does when he wants to annoy you a little, bring your face up to his, and just kiss you. it’s almost impossible not to when he’s been missing out on the feeling of your lips on his for the past few days, but when he hears the sound of your stomach churning and a pained groan leave your lips, he remembers exactly why he’s doing this to himself.

“how about broth?” he suggests, putting his mind back on the task at hand, “you like broth, baby.”

he’s right, you do like broth. or at least you like it when you’re not feeling like satan himself has put his little tapdancing shoes on specifically to do a jig atop your stomach. instinctively you wrap an arm around your abdomen which after a short period of docility, has began to cramp again. that broth really doesn’t sound appealing right now…

“yeosang…” you say, dejected and miserable. he sighs, understanding exactly what you mean by saying his name in that tone of voice; it’s a disheartened no from you.

and while it pains him to be forceful with you—or anyone for that matter—he can’t just sit and watch you waste away over a poorly stomach. he has to put his foot down for once.

“baby, you need to eat,” he sighs and rubs a hand over his face. he hates being so bossy with you, almost as much as he hears the weary sound pass from your lips just after his soft command. “just a small bowl, okay? just for me; your yeosang?”

and while it’s an obvious guilt trip, a little bribe to make you feel a little bad about refusing to eat, you can’t help but fall for it. you sigh, wrapping your arms around your knees so you can pick at your fingers guiltily. it’s not like you can help being sick, but maybe you have been a little dramatic about the whole refusing to eat thing. sure, your stomach churns at even the thought of food, but yeosang is right; if you don’t try, you won’t know. the idea of throwing up again frightens you, but broth is a liquid; it’ll be easy to come back up.

you resign with a minuscule hum, so quiet it’s almost silent.

“fine,” yeosang hardly believes the word when you say it with so much resignation, “one small bowl of broth…”

[waughymommy]

MOMMY KNOWS BEST 💖

Chapter 9

“So do you think you are done being a big boy today?” Rebecca asked. Brian nodded, still nervous, but a little more at ease. “Good. Now mommy needs you to do something for her. Do you think you can do that, little one?”

“Yes mommy,” Brian said, trying to make his voice sound smaller.

“Ok, mommy put your box of baby supplies in your closet. I’m pretty sure you had another diaper left in there. Go get one and bring it back to mommy. Don’t forget the powder too. I don’t want my baby to pee all over the house,” the maternal voice flowed from her so naturally. She lovingly swatted his naked bottom as he hopped off the bed in search of his supplies. Brian opened his closet and rummaged through his box. He found a thick safari print diaper. He held it in his hand and remembered the first time he donned an abdl diaper. He fell in love with them the first time he put it on. The thickness and the crinkle had made him feel so babyish. Brian let himself grin from ear to ear. Then he saw the onesie with the same safari print and he grabbed it too. He returned to the bed, supplies in hand.

“Oh my goodness, baby boy, this diaper is absolutely precious. Lions and monkeys, oh look at that cute giraffe. Which one is your favorite sweetheart?” the cuteness factor had her so excited.

“Ummm, I fink I like the monkey da best.” Brian tried sounding as little as possible again. It felt weird, but he was going to try and let himself escape into babyhood.

“Oh I like him too. Ok, now lay back honey,” she said. Brian laid back and stared up at the ceiling. “Lift up that cute butt,” she added as she shifted the diaper underneath him. She opened the baby powder and lovingly spread it over his crotch and rubbed it in. The drifting smell of the powder only furthered Brian’s regression. As he stared up, he absentmindedly brought his thumb up to his mouth. Brian had played being a baby by himself on numerous occasions, but nothing quite compared to the babyish feeling that was currently overtaking him. Rebecca finished taping up his diaper. The site of Brian in a thick diaper and sucking his thumb was more than she could take.

“Mommy just wants to eat you up, yes she does,” as she tickled his belly. Brian giggled. Rebecca reached over and grabbed the onesie, “Ok sit up now, let’s finish getting you dressed. Mommy is so proud of her baby. You are going to take the thumb out real quick so we can put that onesie on.” She pulled the onesie over his head and stopped as it covered his face, “Oh where did my baby go? A second later she pulled it down, “Oh there he is. Mommy can be so silly huh?” Brian was amazed at how good she was at being a mommy. It was like she had been taking care of small children for years. She helped him put his arms through the sleeves and then fastened the snaps over his thick diaper. “Just one more thing,” and she clipped his pacifier to his onesie and popped it in his mouth.

“Mommy does not want you to be a big boy at all tonight? That means mommy will take care of everything. So if you have to use the potty, you can go right in your diaper ok?” she said patting his thickly padded crotch.

“But what about work tomorrow, mommy?” the thought of work in the morning raised his anxiety again.

She bopped him on the nose, “We will discuss that in the morning, but for now that is nothing for your to worry your little self about whatsoever.”

She got up from the bed and extended her hand for him to follow her. She guided him to the den and laid him on the couch. She fluffed up a pillow behind his head and placed headphones on again. “Remember, mommy wants you to listen to this to help you relax. It’s going to help you be the best baby you can for mommy. Don’t move I will be right back before I start the music.” She returned a few minutes later with a bottle of milk, “I want you to drink this while you listen.” With that, music started to fill his brain as she walked off into the kitchen to make dinner.

The flow of the milk into his mouth, the thick feeling of the diaper and the sound of the music carried Brian far away in his mind. Time became meaningless. But then, the music grew softer and voice spoke to him. The voice guided him further and further down into a trance. A feeling grew inside of him that he needed to obey whatever the voice told him. The voice told him to imagine picture a baby’s nursery. There was crib and a changing table and so many wonderful toys to play with. The voice repeated that it would be so fun to play in the nursery. But in order to do so, he had to take all of his big boy thoughts and skills into a special box. He even told him to put his potty training skills in the box. But he was not to worry, his mommy would make sure to keep that box safe. Now the voice told him to imagine a different box, but this one is filled with all of the things that babies did and soon as he opened it, Brian would feel more and more like a baby. Then the voice said that he was going to count to five and when he reached that number the box would open and Brian would awaken ready to be a baby.

One….two… three…four…five. Brian felt a rush of pleasure through his body. As his eyes opened, he realized that he had finished his bottle. He wanted something to suck and was about to burst into tears when he saw his pacifier clipped to his shirt. He scanned the room looking for his mommy. For a moment he couldn’t remember her name, it was just mommy. He felt frightened for a moment, but then some clarity returned and he could recall her name. Then noticed a pressure in his bladder, but as soon as it came it was gone again. Brian didn’t notice that he had started to pee. His diaper grew warm and heavy. He thoroughly soaked it, but those thick diapers could hold way more than those pullups. Just then, his mommy, walked into the room and pulled the headphones off. Brian regained more and more awareness. She helped him to his feet to which he felt slightly unsteady. Brian tried to remember what she had made him listen to, but the details felt fuzzy. What he did know was that he had never felt so relaxed and comfortable in his diaper and onesie. Why would he be dressed any other way.

As he stood up, Rebecca noticed that the diaper hung lower on his waist. It was a good thing that he had on a onesie. She smiled, “My baby boy wet his diaper. I am so proud of you. Isn’t it so much better than using that icky potty?” She reached her hand down and pushed the diaper into his groin, “Being a wet baby is so nice and mommy will always be so happy to change you.” She knew that after listening to the hypnosis file, he would be more susceptible to suggestion. It was going to take some time to keep conditioning him, but this was a great start. “I think your diaper is ok for a little while longer. I got dinner ready,” and with that she led her waddling baby off to the kitchen.

[changes]

Friday, July 28th, 2023

🌟 New

We’ve updated the text for the blog setting that said it would “hide your blog from search results”. Unfortunately, we’ve never been able to guarantee hiding content from search crawlers, unless they play nice with the standard prevention measures of robots.txt and noindex. With this in mind, we’ve changed the text of that setting to be more accurate, insofar as we discourage them, but cannot prevent search indexing. If you want to completely isolate your blog from the outside internet and require only logged in folks to see your blog, then that’s the separate “Hide [blog] from people without an account” setting, which does prevent search engines from indexing your blog.

When creating a poll on the web, you can now have 12 poll options instead of 10. Wow.

For folks using the Android app, if you get a push notification that a blog you’re subscribed to has a new post, that push will take you to the post itself, instead of the blog view.

For those of you seeing the new desktop website layout, we’ve eased up the spacing between columns a bit to hopefully make things feel less cramped. Thanks to everyone who sent in feedback about this! We’re still triaging more feedback as the experiment continues.

🛠 Fixed

While experimenting with new dashboard tab configuration options, we accidentally broke dashboard tabs that had been enabled via Tumblr Labs, like the Blog Subs tab. We’ve rolled back that change to fix those tabs.

We’ve fixed more problems with how we choose what content goes into blogs’ RSS feeds. This time we’ve fixed a few issues with how answer post content is shown as RSS items.

We’ve also fixed some layout issues with the new desktop website navigation, especially glitches caused when resizing the browser window.

Fixed a visual glitch in the new activity redesign experiment on web that was making unread activity items difficult to read in some color palettes.

Fixed a bug in Safari that was preventing mature content from being blurred properly.

When using Tumblr on a mobile phone browser, the hamburger menu icon will now have an indicator when you have an unread ask or submission in your Inbox.

🚧 Ongoing

Nothing to report here today.

🌱 Upcoming

We hear it’s crab day tomorrow on Tumblr. 🦀

We’re working on adding the ability to reply to posts as a sideblog! We’re just getting started, so it may be a little while before we run an experiment with it.

Experiencing an issue? File a Support Request and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can!

Want to share your feedback about something? Check out our Work in Progress blog and start a discussion with the community.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The moral injury of having your work enshittified

This Monday (November 27), I'm appearing at the Toronto Metro Reference Library with Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen.

On November 29, I'm at NYC's Strand Books with my novel The Lost Cause, a solarpunk tale of hope and danger that Rebecca Solnit called "completely delightful."

This week, I wrote about how the Great Enshittening – in which all the digital services we rely on become unusable, extractive piles of shit – did not result from the decay of the morals of tech company leadership, but rather, from the collapse of the forces that discipline corporate wrongdoing:

https://locusmag.com/2023/11/commentary-by-cory-doctorow-dont-be-evil/

The failure to enforce competition law allowed a few companies to buy out their rivals, or sell goods below cost until their rivals collapsed, or bribe key parts of their supply chain not to allow rivals to participate:

https://www.engadget.com/google-reportedly-pays-apple-36-percent-of-ad-search-revenues-from-safari-191730783.html

The resulting concentration of the tech sector meant that the surviving firms were stupendously wealthy, and cozy enough that they could agree on a common legislative agenda. That regulatory capture has allowed tech companies to violate labor, privacy and consumer protection laws by arguing that the law doesn't apply when you use an app to violate it:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

But the regulatory capture isn't just about preventing regulation: it's also about creating regulation – laws that make it illegal to reverse-engineer, scrape, and otherwise mod, hack or reconfigure existing services to claw back value that has been taken away from users and business customers. This gives rise to Jay Freeman's perfectly named doctrine of "felony contempt of business-model," in which it is illegal to use your own property in ways that anger the shareholders of the company that sold it to you:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/09/lead-me-not-into-temptation/#chamberlain

Undisciplined by the threat of competition, regulation, or unilateral modification by users, companies are free to enshittify their products. But what does that actually look like? I say that enshittification is always precipitated by a lost argument.

It starts when someone around a board-room table proposes doing something that's bad for users but good for the company. If the company faces the discipline of competition, regulation or self-help measures, then the workers who are disgusted by this course of action can say, "I think doing this would be gross, and what's more, it's going to make the company poorer," and so they win the argument.

But when you take away that discipline, the argument gets reduced to, "Don't do this because it would make me ashamed to work here, even though it will make the company richer." Money talks, bullshit walks. Let the enshittification begin!

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/22/who-wins-the-argument/#corporations-are-people-my-friend

But why do workers care at all? That's where phrases like "don't be evil" come into the picture. Until very recently, tech workers participated in one of history's tightest labor markets, in which multiple companies with gigantic war-chests bid on their labor. Even low-level employees routinely fielded calls from recruiters who dangled offers of higher salaries and larger stock grants if they would jump ship for a company's rival.

Employers built "campuses" filled with lavish perks: massages, sports facilities, daycare, gourmet cafeterias. They offered workers generous benefit packages, including exotic health benefits like having your eggs frozen so you could delay fertility while offsetting the risks normally associated with conceiving at a later age.

But all of this was a transparent ruse: the business-case for free meals, gyms, dry-cleaning, catering and massages was to keep workers at their laptops for 10, 12, or even 16 hours per day. That egg-freezing perk wasn't about helping workers plan their families: it was about thumbing the scales in favor of working through your entire twenties and thirties without taking any parental leave.

In other words, tech employers valued their employees as a means to an end: they wanted to get the best geeks on the payroll and then work them like government mules. The perks and pay weren't the result of comradeship between management and labor: they were the result of the discipline of competition for labor.

This wasn't really a secret, of course. Big Tech workers are split into two camps: blue badges (salaried employees) and green badges (contractors). Whenever there is a slack labor market for a specific job or skill, it is converted from a blue badge job to a green badge job. Green badges don't get the food or the massages or the kombucha. They don't get stock or daycare. They don't get to freeze their eggs. They also work long hours, but they are incentivized by the fear of poverty.

Tech giants went to great lengths to shield blue badges from green badges – at some Google campuses, these workforces actually used different entrances and worked in different facilities or on different floors. Sometimes, green badge working hours would be staggered so that the armies of ragged clickworkers would not be lined up to badge in when their social betters swanned off the luxury bus and into their airy adult kindergartens.

But Big Tech worked hard to convince those blue badges that they were truly valued. Companies hosted regular town halls where employees could ask impertinent questions of their CEOs. They maintained freewheeling internal social media sites where techies could rail against corporate foolishness and make Dilbert references.

And they came up with mottoes.

Apple told its employees it was a sound environmental steward that cared about privacy. Apple also deliberately turned old devices into e-waste by shredding them to ensure that they wouldn't be repaired and compete with new devices:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/22/vin-locking/#thought-differently

And even as they were blocking Facebook's surveillance tools, they quietly built their own nonconsensual mass surveillance program and lied to customers about it:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar

Facebook told employees they were on a "mission to connect every person in the world," but instead deliberately sowed discontent among its users and trapped them in silos that meant that anyone who left Facebook lost all their friends:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/facebooks-secret-war-switching-costs

And Google promised its employees that they would not "be evil" if they worked at Google. For many googlers, that mattered. They wanted to do something good with their lives, and they had a choice about who they would work for. What's more, they did make things that were good. At their high points, Google Maps, Google Mail, and of course, Google Search were incredible.

My own life was totally transformed by Maps: I have very poor spatial sense, need to actually stop and think to tell my right from my left, and I spent more of my life at least a little lost and often very lost. Google Maps is the cognitive prosthesis I needed to become someone who can go anywhere. I'm profoundly grateful to the people who built that service.

There's a name for phenomenon in which you care so much about your job that you endure poor conditions and abuse: it's called "vocational awe," as coined by Fobazi Ettarh:

https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2018/vocational-awe/

Ettarh uses the term to apply to traditionally low-waged workers like librarians, teachers and nurses. In our book Chokepoint Capitalism, Rebecca Giblin and I talked about how it applies to artists and other creative workers, too:

https://chokepointcapitalism.com/

But vocational awe is also omnipresent in tech. The grandiose claims to be on a mission to make the world a better place are not just puffery – they're a vital means of motivating workers who can easily quit their jobs and find a new one to put in 16-hour days. The massages and kombucha and egg-freezing are not framed as perks, but as logistical supports, provided so that techies on an important mission can pursue a shared social goal without being distracted by their balky, inconvenient meatsuits.

Steve Jobs was a master of instilling vocational awe. He was full of aphorisms like "we're here to make a dent in the universe, otherwise why even be here?" Or his infamous line to John Sculley, whom he lured away from Pepsi: "Do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life or come with me and change the world?"

Vocational awe cuts both ways. If your workforce actually believes in all that high-minded stuff, if they actually sacrifice their health, family lives and self-care to further the mission, they will defend it. That brings me back to enshittification, and the argument: "If we do this bad thing to the product I work on, it will make me hate myself."

The decline in market discipline for large tech companies has been accompanied by a decline in labor discipline, as the market for technical work grew less and less competitive. Since the dotcom collapse, the ability of tech giants to starve new entrants of market oxygen has shrunk techies' dreams.

Tech workers once dreamed of working for a big, unwieldy firm for a few years before setting out on their own to topple it with a startup. Then, the dream shrank: work for that big, clumsy firm for a few years, then do a fake startup that makes a fake product that is acquihired by your old employer, as an incredibly inefficient and roundabout way to get a raise and a bonus.

Then the dream shrank again: work for a big, ugly firm for life, but get those perks, the massages and the kombucha and the stock options and the gourmet cafeteria and the egg-freezing. Then it shrank again: work for Google for a while, but then get laid off along with 12,000 co-workers, just months after the company does a stock buyback that would cover all those salaries for the next 27 years:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/10/the-proletarianization-of-tech-workers/

Tech workers' power was fundamentally individual. In a tight labor market, tech workers could personally stand up to their bosses. They got "workplace democracy" by mouthing off at town hall meetings. They didn't have a union, and they thought they didn't need one. Of course, they did need one, because there were limits to individual power, even for the most in-demand workers, especially when it came to ghastly, long-running sexual abuse from high-ranking executives:

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/25/technology/google-sexual-harassment-andy-rubin.html

Today, atomized tech workers who are ordered to enshittify the products they take pride in are losing the argument. Workers who put in long hours, missed funerals and school plays and little league games and anniversaries and family vacations are being ordered to flush that sacrifice down the toilet to grind out a few basis points towards a KPI.

It's a form of moral injury, and it's palpable in the first-person accounts of former workers who've exited these large firms or the entire field. The viral "Reflecting on 18 years at Google," written by Ian Hixie, vibrates with it:

https://ln.hixie.ch/?start=1700627373

Hixie describes the sense of mission he brought to his job, the workplace democracy he experienced as employees' views were both solicited and heeded. He describes the positive contributions he was able to make to a commons of technical standards that rippled out beyond Google – and then, he says, "Google's culture eroded":

Decisions went from being made for the benefit of users, to the benefit of Google, to the benefit of whoever was making the decision.

In other words, techies started losing the argument. Layoffs weakened worker power – not just to defend their own interest, but to defend the users interests. Worker power is always about more than workers – think of how the 2019 LA teachers' strike won greenspace for every school, a ban on immigration sweeps of students' parents at the school gates and other community benefits:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/23/a-collective-bargain/

Hixie attributes the changes to a change in leadership, but I respectfully disagree. Hixie points to the original shareholder letter from the Google founders, in which they informed investors contemplating their IPO that they were retaining a controlling interest in the company's governance so that they could ignore their shareholders' priorities in favor of a vision of Google as a positive force in the world:

https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/ipo-letter/

Hixie says that the leadership that succeeded the founders lost sight of this vision – but the whole point of that letter is that the founders never fully ceded control to subsequent executive teams. Yes, those executive teams were accountable to the shareholders, but the largest block of voting shares were retained by the founders.

I don't think the enshittification of Google was due to a change in leadership – I think it was due to a change in discipline, the discipline imposed by competition, regulation and the threat of self-help measures. Take ads: when Google had to contend with one-click adblocker installation, it had to constantly balance the risk of making users so fed up that they googled "how do I block ads?" and then never saw another ad ever again.

But once Google seized the majority of the mobile market, it was able to funnel users into apps, and reverse-engineering an app is a felony (felony contempt of business-model) under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. An app is just a web-page wrapped in enough IP to make it a crime to install an ad-blocker.

And as Google acquired control over the browser market, it was likewise able to reduce the self-help measures available to browser users who found ads sufficiently obnoxious to trigger googling "how do I block ads?" The apotheosis of this is the yearslong campaign to block adblockers in Chrome, which the company has sworn it will finally do this coming June:

https://www.tumblr.com/tevruden/734352367416410112/you-have-until-june-to-dump-chrome

My contention here is not that Google's enshittification was precipitated by a change in personnel via the promotion of managers who have shitty ideas. Google's enshittification was precipitated by a change in discipline, as the negative consequences of heeding those shitty ideas were abolished thanks to monopoly.

This is bad news for people like me, who rely on services like Google Maps as cognitive prostheses. Elizabeth Laraki, one of the original Google Maps designers, has published a scorching critique of the latest GMaps design:

https://twitter.com/elizlaraki/status/1727351922254852182

Laraki calls out numerous enshittificatory design-choices that have left Maps screens covered in "crud" – multiple revenue-maximizing elements that come at the expense of usability, shifting value from users to Google.

What Laraki doesn't say is that these UI elements are auctioned off to merchants, which means that the business that gives Google the most money gets the greatest prominence in Maps, even if it's not the best merchant. That's a recurring motif in enshittified tech platforms, most notoriously Amazon, which makes $31b/year auctioning off top search placement to companies whose products aren't relevant enough to your query to command that position on their own:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/25/greedflation/#commissar-bezos

Enshittification begets enshittification. To succeed on Amazon, you must divert funds from product quality to auction placement, which means that the top results are the worst products:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/06/attention-rents/#consumer-welfare-queens

The exception is searches for Apple products: Apple and Amazon have a cozy arrangement that means that searches for Apple products are a timewarp back to the pre-enshittification Amazon, when the company worried enough about losing your business to heed the employees who objected to sacrificing search quality as part of a merchant extortion racket:

https://www.businessinsider.com/amazon-gives-apple-special-treatment-while-others-suffer-junk-ads-2023-11

Not every tech worker is a tech bro, in other words. Many workers care deeply about making your life better. But the microeconomics of the boardroom in a monopolized tech sector rewards the worst people and continuously promotes them. Forget the Peter Principle: tech is ruled by the Sam Principle.

As OpenAI went through four CEOs in a single week, lots of commentators remarked on Sam Altman's rise and fall and rise, but I only found one commentator who really had Altman's number. Writing in Today in Tabs, Rusty Foster nailed Altman to the wall:

https://www.todayintabs.com/p/defective-accelerationism

Altman's history goes like this: first, he founded a useless startup that raised $30m, only to be acquired and shuttered. Then Altman got a job running Y Combinator, where he somehow failed at taking huge tranches of equity from "every Stanford dropout with an idea for software to replace something Mommy used to do." After that, he founded OpenAI, a company that he claims to believe presents an existential risk to the entire human risk – which he structured so incompetently that he was then forced out of it.

His reward for this string of farcical, mounting failures? He was put back in charge of the company he mis-structured despite his claimed belief that it will destroy the human race if not properly managed.

Altman's been around for a long time. He founded his startup in 2005. There've always been Sams – of both the Bankman-Fried varietal and the Altman genus – in tech. But they didn't get to run amok. They were disciplined by their competitors, regulators, users and workers. The collapse of competition led to an across-the-board collapse in all of those forms of discipline, revealing the executives for the mediocre sociopaths they always were, and exposing tech workers' vocational awe for the shabby trick it was from the start.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/25/moral-injury/#enshittification

[sapphiretanto]

(CW: Ranting/Venting; the fic I am talking about will not be named, nor will I give the author’s name away. Please send me a message if you want to know)

Did we even watch the same show? He’s not a caring, big brother? He’s a stick in the mud?

The only thing I’ll give you is that he’s full of himself… because he’s an idiot teenager with badass fighting skills and weapons. Of course he’s gonna be a cocky little shit. Most people with Leo’s skill would be.

I’m going to assume that you mean part of the time he’s full of himself. But if you mean all the time, then I’ll correct you there. More often than not, he is actually very insecure— a very common trait among the Leonardo’s.

“Maybe I shouldn’t be leading the team?”

“It’s all my fault. I let the guys down!”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again”

“I’d just hold you back. You guys train, I’ll watch. It’s all I’m good for anyway…”

“I’m a liability to the whole team”

“I won’t be much help out there anyway”

Leo is a perfectionist and this shows in the way he leads— coming across as bossy or arrogant— and how he treats himself. The guy just got out of a three-month coma after he had the shit kicked out of him and what does he say when he’s by himself after everyone else went to look for Raph in the woods?

He holds himself to impossibly high standards— both placed by himself and some of the misguided lessons he was taught.

Alright, now for the stick in the mud part. Leo is a fucking dork (I mean this in the most affectionate sense). He loves Space Heroes to the point where he quotes it during missions. He likes puns, is fascinated by Japan culture, martial arts, meditation, etc. He trains very hard to excel at ninjutsu/martial arts— both so he can help his brothers in combat and because it’s a passion of his. That doesn’t make him boring in the slightest. He has some of the most ridiculous dialogue throughout the series:

“Alright guys. Let’s put Old Mother Hubbard back in her cupboard!”

“Hello!? Space Heroes!? Captain Ryan! Didn’t you see the episode where they fought the Cortexecons?!”

“Awesome! Oh, this is so rad! I feel like Van Helsing, but way cooler than him, actually. Way more rad than Van Helsing”

“Alright guys, prepare to dish out the mighty wrath of justice!”

“We don’t know he’s gonna do anything bad. He could be on his way… to… church!”

“I… don’t really have a pinky?”

He can’t lie for shit which leads to him saying silly things:

“Be cool. Be cool.” *answers phone* “uh.. hey man! What’s… what’s going down? *Raph says they better have not watched the Crognard finale without him and Leo laughs nervously* W-who, us?! Of course not! But I bet if we did watch it, we would have found it anti-climate… climactic!”

*gets asked by Chloe if there’s other turtles like him* “Nope! Uh-uh! Just me! Mr. Imaginary Talking Turtle!”

“He’s just kidding, Mrs. O’Neil. Kirby’s…uh.. on a.. safari! In Puerto Rico! And he won’t be back for a while.”

And he’s not the goody-two shoes and suck up people think of him as. He has gone behind Splinter’s back on several occasions, snuck out both willingly and unwillingly. The guy dressed in black and caused petty crime with his sister and her girlfriend Shinigami because he was pissed off at Shredder.

As for not being a caring brother. You mean this guy?! This Leo?! ⬇️

Couldn’t be this Leo, right? There’s no way he’s a mother hen— being both doting and getting after his brothers.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full!”

“Mikey, you never cease to amaze me”

“Leo never left your side” — April when Raph was reduced to a mere plant by The Creep

“I’m sorry about Spike, Raphael.”

“Donnie, don’t lose sight of who you are!”

“Nice job, D”

“Donnie, the go karts worked great. Nice job!”

“Mikey, come on! It’s not that bad! And Raph promises not to make fun of you anymore.”

Not the Leo that uses all his strength and stays behind in the Technodrome holding Kraang Prime so his brothers and April can escape. Not that Leo who while just barely awake after a coma goes after a mutated monster in the woods to get his family back. Not that Leo who forced himself to stay calm so the others can be calm while they go through the most insane shit, or cannot grieve in the moment because he has to ensure the rest of their safety, so his focus during missions and battle is scattered in different places. Because he couldn’t possibly help bandage their wounds, worry when they’re hurt and not give up on a family member. Not Leo preventing Donnie from straight up unaliving Don Vizioso because Leo doesn’t want his younger brother to do what he did and change him like it changed him. He doesn’t sacrifice himself over and over because he loves his brothers, right? Right??

[annah-kitathryne]

I don't trust Batfamily fans who will hate everything about one character all the time always. They refuse to admit that the character does anything good for the story, or has a valuable asset to whatever group, team, person, or case that they are working on.

I think a healthy dislike is okay. Everyone who has ever talked to me knows I'm pretty critical of Bruce. Everyone on Tumblr who has read any of my posts knows that Jason annoys me.

However, they are still compelling characters who can be really interesting narrative and character wise. I actually think Jason can be an interesting character to use in stories.

That being said, everyone should be critical about their favourites. I follow the anti-Tim Drake tag for a reason. Because one it makes me ask the question, "Is my perception of Tim in rose coloured glasses, does what the person says have any basis in canon, and is this information i should think over or more on from?" It also keeps my critical thinking skills up, and my ability to memorize information and peice together said information.

That also being said Anti Tags for all the Batfam is filled with mysogeny, racism, classism, homophobia, and ablism.

[Correction: some of the main anti tags aren't as bad anymore. Hope they stay that way. Avoid Redit it can be really bad.]

Selfishly it makes me feel better about my ability to consume and create media. Because I'm at least better than the bare minimum.

Anyway, here's the thing. Stop being crazy stans who can't take a single criticism and stop being crazy antis who can't take a single criticism. Learn to balance the adoration and dislike.

Please read source material before you say fuck canon, because how do you know what to change if you have never read the material before. You wouldn't want someone who had never learned to fix or handle a car to suddenly come in and try to upgrade it for you?

Source material is important. Don't know where to start. Click the search bar and type out

[favourite character] reading list

If it doesn't appear on Tumblr click the search engine you use [Firefox, Google, internet explorer, safari, bingo, yahoo etc.] And type the same thing.

[babykin25]

DS Games for Littles <3

Hi there! I wanted to make a post on DS games that I think are nice for littles, how to download them and how to play them! I'm on Android so I'm not sure about IOS, but I'll be using melonDS for this :3

Step 1: Download melonDS

This is the first step! Though the app is early access, it's still the best emulator I've tried for ds games and the only one so far I know that the microphone works (works choppy but at least it does something compared to drastic)

Once you've downloaded it, make sure the in-app microphone is set to your device's microphone! Go to settings and then audio to change it.

NOTE: I'm not sure about other devices but on my phone, the microphone only works with headphones on, and when entering the app with them on. If I enter the app without them on, it doesn't seem to work unless I restart it with them on. Do check on your phone how this works!

Step 2: Look for ROMs you like and download them!

Roms is the file name of DS games, and I always download mine from here.

The first step to getting games is downloading them! Look for games you like and tap the download button. It'll move you lower on the website, and start downloading! I recommend downloading through Chrome :)) downloading on for example, Opera Touch is hard because the downloads screen there is broken.

Once you've downloaded it, head to where it's located in your phone's files or the downloads screen. Tap on the file and it'll lead you to your phone's files, with a button that says 'extract'. Touch that button and extract the files! It'll then show up on your emulator, if your emulator and roms are under the same directory :))

I recommend making an alternate folder in the device for the games! It's what I do and all of them show up just fine!

*If the list below is too much to skim over, I recommend Hamtaro Ham-Ham Challenge, Zhu Zhu Babies and the Smart Boy's/Girl's games <3

Cooking Mama

Games I recommend:

Build-A-Bear Workshop (a little laggy when you color the house! otherwise plays well)

Crafting Mama

Gardening Mama

Crayola Treasure Adventures

Dogz

Dogz 2

Dora's Cooking Club

Dora the Explorer: Dora Saves the Snow Princess

Dora the Explorer: Dora Saves the Mermaids

Go, Diego, Go! Safari Rescue

Diego's Build and Rescue

Go, Diego, Go! Great Dinosaur Rescue

Aquarium by DS

Fantasy Aquarium by DS

Hamsterz Life

Hello Kitty Daily

Hello Kitty Party

Hello Kitty Birthday Adventures

Hello Kitty: Big City Dreams

Littlest Pet Shop: City Friends

Hi! Hamtaro Ham-Ham Challenge

Lalaloopsy: Sew Magical! Sew Cute

Littlest Pet Shop: Garden

Littlest Pet Shop: Winter

Littlest Pet Shop: Beach Friends

Littlest Pet Shop: Jungle

Littlest Pet Shop: Spring

Littlest Pet Shop: Country Friends

Loving Life with Hello Kitty and Friends

My Little Pony: Pinkie Pie's Party

MySims

Prism: Light the Way

Smart Boy's Gameroom

Smart Boy's Gameroom 2

Smart Boy's Toys Club

Smart Boy's Winter Wonderland

Smart Girl's Playhouse

Smart Girl's Playhouse 2

Smart Girl's Playhouse Party

Smart Girl's Magical Book Club

Smart Girl's Winter Wonderland

Toy Story 3

Yoshi's Island

Zhu Zhu Pets

Zhu Zhu Pets: Quest for Zhu

Zhu Zhu Babies

Zhu Zhu Puppies

Magical Zhu Zhu Princess: Carriages and Castles

Hope this helps you download them and have fun! Let me know if you have any problems and I'll do my best to help <3

[inficetegodwottery]

A call for aid from Firefox Users

I have absolutely no fucking idea how to solve these problems, and there are asks with no answers all over the internet elsewhere that are years old.

There is a weirdly hostile atmosphere on Reddit's Firefox boards to asking questions about features Firefox doesn't seem to have. And obviously, official support forums are about as helpful as they ever are. Given that I've seen and reblogged countless extremely informative posts about Firefox stuff on Tumblr, I just have to hope one of you guys knows answers to some of these issues.

Because I want to move away from Chrome. I really, really do. It is a constant source of stress and fear at this point. Google is an insanely evil fucking company and I despise them, and admire Firefox's stances on privacy and commitment to user security. But I cannot use a browser that lacks so many of the organizational elements I'm used to using in order to deal with my extreme neurodivergence and inability to process information all at once combined with my tendency towards flitting from one train of thought to another constantly.

Using Firefox (I've tried to switch five times over six or seven years) in the past has been overwhelming and stressful and completely devoid of certain features I could use to control those feelings on browsers like Chrome, Opera, and even Safari.

So if anyone has any solutions or suggestions for the specific issues I describe below, it would be an enormous weight off my shoulders, and help me feel a lot safer than I do now.

I'll admit that my tab fever is insane, and I've regularly racked up 2000+ tabs on Chrome. But I can sleep/unload just about all of those tabs constantly, making it so I can keep my trains of thought completely paused without the slightest impact on my computer's performance while I work on something else, and come right back to them without having to dig through the Bookmark system. And the way I generally keep that insane number of bookmarks organized is with separate windows and TAB GROUPING. Bless tab grouping, the saviour of my sanity. With that feature, I can have a completely organized tab tree with color coding, searchable groups, easily group and ungroup tabs or move them to different windows, and I can manage all of them from the same UI I'm managing ungrouped tabs from.

This is a feature which Firefox appears to fundamentally lack, despite apparently having had it implemented fully at some point.

I will say that I tried several addons before making this post, specifically Simple Tab Groups, which was atrocious, and Panorama View actually looks fantastic, but also.... Firefox has placed a security warning on that one. Great.

So if anyone knows of a hidden browser settings option, an overlooked tab grouping addon, or some other way to implement that feature on Firefox, I would be eternally in your debt. I just do not have the ability to process or work on a browser that I can only have like forty tabs open without losing track of everything I'm doing because they're all on a single ribbon. Or completely overloading my RAM.

On that note, is there any setting to make the browser use less memory? I've had the core process run up to almost a dozen gigs of RAM with only twenty tabs open, and there's absolutely no way it needed all that processing power for four YouTube tabs and a bunch of settings pages.

Lastly, there are a number of times while I was using Firefox that I lost power or the program crashed (and it crashed a LOT) and I lost everything. Every tab, every bit of work I was doing at the time, with no way to recover them. I've had that happen with Chrome too, but WAY less often, and when it recovers all my tabs it does so while PRESERVING MY TAB GROUPS, and it also doesn't load every tab in until I actually move to that tab. Firefox loads every tab it's recovering all at once, which usually completely locks up my computer.

At this point I'm pretty much only using Firefox to watch YouTube videos past the adblock, despite desperately wanting to transfer literally everything over to a browser that I KNOW is the safer and better option. But every time I've tried, the total inability to organize like I used to, losing all my progress and being unable to regain it whatsoever, or just using up four times the amount of resources that my browsing would on another platform has drive me away. I don't want to be driven away. I want to solve this, but I've had to accept that I can't do that alone.

I greatly appreciate any help or advice anyone can give. Even if just only one of these questions gets answered or only one of these problems gets solved, that's a win in my books. And thank you for reading, even if you don't have any of the answers I'm looking for.

[the-sleepy-archivist]

Blocking Ads on Mobile Devices

Blocking ads on our phones is way harder than it should be so I figured I'd make some recommendations. These are not the only options out there, just the ones that I know and use.

Please note that browser-level and system-level adblocking are complementary; you'll have the best experience if you use both of them together as they each block different things in different places. If you want a basic idea of how effective your combined adblocking setup is, you can visit this website in your mobile browser.

Lastly, there is some additional advice/info under the readmore if you're curious (EDIT: updated June 2024 to add info about sideloading altered versions of social media apps that don't contain ads on Android and iOS).

Android

Browser-Level

uBlock Origin (for Firefox)

System-Level (works in all apps, not just browsers)

AdGuard

Blokada 5 (completely free version) OR Blokada 6 (has some newer features but they require a subscription)

iPhone/iPad

Browser-Level

AdGuard (Safari extension; free for basic browser-level blocking, requires a subscription for custom filters)

System-Level (works in all apps, not just browsers)

AdGuard (requires subscription for system-level blocking)

AdGuard DNS only (this is free and does not require the AdGuard app, BUT I would only recommend it for advanced users, as you can't easily turn it off like you can with the app. Credit to this Reddit thread for the DNS profile)

Some additional info: browser-level blocking is a browser addon or extension, like you might be used to from a desktop computer. This inspects the HTML code returned by websites and searches for patterns that identify the presence of an ad or other annoyance (popup videos, cookie agreements, etc.). System-level blocking is almost always DNS-based. Basically whenever an app asks your phone's OS to make a connection to a website that is known for serving ads, the system-level blocker replies "sorry, I don't know her 🤷‍♂️💅" and the ad doesn't get downloaded. This works in most places, not just a browser, but be warned that it might make your battery drain a little faster depending on the app/setup.

Each of those types of blocking has strengths and weaknesses. System-level DNS blocking blocks ads in all apps, but companies that own advertising networks AND the websites those ads are served on can combine their services into the same domain to render DNS blocking useless; you can’t block ads served by Facebook/Meta domains without also blocking all of Facebook and Instagram as well because they made sure their ads are served from the same domain as all the user posts you actually want to see. Similarly, browser-level blocking can recognize ads by appearance and content, regardless of what domain they’re served from, so it can block them on Instagram and Facebook. However, it needs to be able to inspect the content being loaded in order to look for ads, and there’s no way to do that in non-browser apps. That’s why using both together will get you the best results.

These limitations do mean that you can’t block ads in the Facebook or Instagram apps, unfortunately, only in the website versions of them visited in your browser. It also means ads served by meta’s/facebook’s ad network in other apps can’t be blocked either (unless you're one of the rare beasts who doesn't use facebook or instagram or threads, in which case feel free to blacklist all Meta/FB domains and watch your ads disappear 😍; I'm jealous and in awe of you lol).

One note: some apps may behave unpredictably when they can't download ads. For example, the Tumblr app has big black spaces where the ads are, and sometimes those spaces collapse as you scroll past them and it messes up scrolling for a few seconds (UPDATE: looks like the scrolling issue may have actually been a Tumblr bug that they have now fixed, at least on iOS). Still way less annoying than getting ads for Draco Malfoy seduction roleplay AI chatbots imo though. And honestly *most* apps handle this fairly gracefully, like a mobile game I play just throws error messages like "ad is not ready" and then continues like normal.

One final note: on Android, you may actually be able to find hacked versions of Meta’s apps that have the ad frameworks removed. In some cases they are a little janky (unsurprisingly, apps don’t always take kindly to having some of their innards ripped out by a third-party), and they are often out of date. BUT in return you get an Instagram app with no ads whatsoever, and some of them even add additional features like buttons for saving IG videos and photos to your phone. However, use these apps at your own risk, as there is functionally no way to validate the code that the third-parties have added or removed from the app. Example altered IG app (I have not vetted this altered app, it's just a popular option): link.

It is technically possible to install altered apps on iOS as well, but Apple makes it much, much harder to do (unless you are jailbroken, which is a whole different ballgame). I'm not going to cover sideloading or jailbreaking here because even I as a very techy person eventually grew tired of messing with it or having to pay for it. If you're interested you can read more about the different ways to do sideloading on iOS here.

[halfway-happyyy]

into gold I {rooster bradshaw}

synopsis: rooster bradshaw’s emotional baggage could fill a cargo container ten times over. he is the single father of a precocious and bubbly six-year-old, and despite his best efforts, has fallen head over heels for someone arguably more damaged than him- his daughter’s first grade teacher. 

i originally wrote this part in july of last year, but re-wrote it recently to breathe new life into it. this will be a multi-part piece. no warnings as of yet, but there will be some in the future. i don’t normally write multi-part pieces, so please be gentle. 

characters- bradley ‘rooster’ bradshaw, frankie bradshaw, female ooc scout wallis (she/her pronouns)

Rooster Bradshaw is of the general opinion that the universe does not fight for souls to be together.

He tells himself this every time he starts to feel close to someone; that despite their beauty, their money, their career, the way they flirt, the way they fuck- the universe has never sided with him, and it certainly isn't about to start now, so why bother?

But then Friday morning rolls around and he's fifteen minutes late to meet with his daughter's teacher and when he finally gets to her classroom, he has an entire speech prepared. But then she glances up at him from the test that she’s grading and every single word he memorized on the way there evaporates into thin air. Suddenly the idea of the universe intervening on his behalf doesn’t sound like such a bad idea after all.

“Hi Miss Wallis.” He murmurs, breathlessly.

The red pen in her grasp stills, her gaze sharp as a knife. “You’re late, Mr. Bradshaw.”

He swallows hard; tries to focus on anything other than her being genuinely one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen.

“I got caught up in traffic.”

She rises from her chair to stand in front of her desk and Rooster notices the sundress she has on is covered in hand-drawn safari animals- giraffes, cheetahs, flamingos- and it somehow endears him to her a little bit more. “I wanted to have a quick talk with you about Frankie.” Despite her initial disappointment with him, her face lights up, and her tone softens when she mentions his daughter’s name. “And let me start off by saying that she is a joy to have in the classroom.”

Rooster smiles at that.

“She is inquisitive and intelligent and kind, but she’s also extremely quiet. Getting her to participate with her classmates has been a challenge, to say the least.” She drags her bottom lip between her teeth in thought, and Rooster finds that he must try twice as hard to concentrate on the conversation at hand. “Has she ever mentioned anything to you about the way the other students treat her?”

Rooster blanches. “No, in fact she constantly tells me how much she loves going to school.”

Frankie's teacher smiles briefly. “I’ve caught a few of the other students bullying her- making fun of the jokes she tells, the way she dresses, and they’ve been spoken too and dealt with accordingly, but I just wanted to have an open and frank conversation with you about it to let you know what’s been going on. We take this kind of stuff quite seriously here, and there is a plan in place for if it continues.”

Shifting from foot to foot, he says, “Well, I do appreciate the communication. It hasn't always been easy with just the two of us, but we make do...” It bothers him that at six years old, and with everything she’s gone through in her short life, she hasn’t felt like she could tell him about what’s really been going on with her. “I will make sure to speak with her this weekend, and I really do appreciate you setting this up.” He glances around the room and at the myriads of artwork that decorate every square inch of wall space. It’s obvious to him how much her students adore her, and it causes Rooster’s heart to swell, knowing his pride and joy is in good hands when she’s here. He feels her gaze on him, and it makes his cheeks flame under the florescent lighting.

“Would you like to see some of her work before you leave?”

Rooster nods emphatically; would love nothing more. She guides him over to a spot at the front of the room where a bunch of drawings hang beneath a sign titled, 'What Makes You Happy?' She points to a drawing in the centre of the wall. It depicts six roughly drawn stick figures; five adults and a child. Two of the adults- a man and a woman - are in the sky next to a smiling sun, with what look to be angel wings protruding from their backs. Rooster’s breath hitches in his throat, and his eyes immediately begin to prickle with looming tears. He thinks of his parents often and wonders where they are and if they would be proud of the way he’s raising their granddaughter. His gaze moves to the three adults on the ground who stand around the child, and a fat orange cat lounges at the child’s feet.

“I want a cat more than anything in the world, daddy.”

“We’re not ready yet, Frankie. But someday soon, perhaps.”

“She cares very deeply for her family.” She murmurs, thoughtfully. “She is constantly talking of them. Especially her grandparent’s.”

Emotion swells in the hollow of his throat, and he swallows hard to rid himself of it. “I try to talk about them with her as much as I can, but it isn’t always easy.”

“No. It isn't, is it?” Her wistful tone tells him that she knows a thing or two about loss as well.

Silence settles like dust between them, and he glances at the watch on the underside of his wrist. Twenty to eight. “I want to apologize for my lateness this morning.”

They wander over to her door, and she shrugs. “It’s nice that you showed up at all, honestly. You can’t imagine how many parents don’t.”

“I’d like to make it up to you.”

Her smile is wry as she cocks her head to the side, playing coy with him. “I beg your pardon?”

“I’d like to make it up to you for wasting your time. Take you out for drink or food, or anything really.”

She shakes her head, and her eyes twinkle mischievously. “That isn’t necessary, Mr. Bradshaw. Regardless, I don’t date my students’ parents.”

Rooster laughs easily. “But you could make an exception?”

It’s her turn to laugh now. “Even if I did, another rule that I have is that I don’t date men in the military.”

Rooster reckons she’s got him there, so he concedes on the point for now. “Alright, if you say so. But if you find yourself having a sudden change of heart- you know how to get a hold of me.”

She ushers him out into the hallway, with a wide grin pulling the edges of her lips skyward. “Good day, Mr. Bradshaw.”

“Good day, Miss Wallis.”

Frankie’s first grade teacher lingers in his mind long after she’s gone from his presence. He wonders how it came to be that they’d never crossed paths before and has a sudden, sneaking suspicion that she may be one of the only reasons Frankie enjoys going to school as much as she does. He thinks about his daughter then; how he had dropped her off at Penny’s last night for the weekend, but still misses her with every fiber of his being and makes a mental note to call her as soon as he’s done work for the day. Arriving on base, he allows himself a moment in the Bronco to watch a super hornet prepare for flight. Something aches somewhere deep in his heart; makes him irrevocably nostalgic for the good ol’ days. And it isn’t that he minds instructing for TOPGUN- on the contrary, it’s been a fantastic job to have that still ensures he gets some time in his beloved planes, but he would be lying to anyone if he said he didn’t miss the thrill of being called to missions.

“You coming out tonight, Bradshaw?” Jake slaps the doorframe twice and pokes his head into Rooster’s room an hour later.

He’s about to protest- could think of a million other things he’d rather do than hit the Hard Deck with Jake and the others- except that he can’t come up with a single reason, so he shrugs sheepishly. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“No Frankie this weekend?”

Rooster shakes his head. “Mav and Penny wanted to take her out on a little trip on the water.”

“Excellent. See you then, buddy.”

~

“It’s easily one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.” Bob must yell above the din of the bar to be heard. Taking a long slug off the beer in his hand, he takes his phone out of his pocket and is entirely too careful not to let it touch the wooden bar. “Do you want to see a picture of him?”

Rooster nods enthusiastically. “I would love to see a picture of your cat, Bob.”

He holds up his phone, and Rooster’s suddenly struck by the uncanny resemblance of the cat on the screen to the cat in Frankie’s drawing from this morning. “Have you by any chance shown Frankie a picture of…” He trails off because he cannot remember what Bob’s cat is called, for the life of him.

“His name is Ulysses. And yes, Frankie and I have had many conversations about him.”

Rooster laughs and finishes the last of the hoppy amber liquid in his pint glass. “So, I guess I have you to thank for her newest obsession with felines.”

Bob’s smile is sheepish.

“Now, how did that happen?” Phoenix's laugh is incredulous as she gestures to the front entrance of the Hard Deck.

Rooster cranes around in his seat at the bar and nearly drops the empty glass in his hand when he catches sight of Jake Seresin arm in arm with none other than Frankie's first grade teacher.

“Did you know he was dating anyone?” Fanboy peers over at Coyote expectantly, who looks just as perplexed as everyone else.

“Nope.”

Rooster considers making a run for it; reckons his odds are pretty good if he can get Phoenix and Bob to distract the two of them for long enough. He’s about to slide his credit card over the bar to Jimmy when the unmistakable sound of Jake's laughter causes the hair to prickle at the nape of his neck.

“Not trying to run away on us, are ya Bradshaw? There's someone I’d like to introduce you to.”

She’s sporting a different dress than this morning; some sort of black silk number that Rooster thinks would look perfect pooled on his hardwood floor, and he clears his throat before his thoughts run away on him. “A pleasure to meet you.” He extends a hand for her to shake, which she accepts hesitantly. Her cheeks are flushed, and Rooster can only guess at why.

Hangman gazes at the elder naval pilot, his expression smug. “I actually have you to thank, Rooster.”

Rooster eyes him wearily- can’t imagine what game he's playing at. “Is that so?”

“Yep. I met Scout here, two months ago when I did Frankie’s school run for you.”

He glances over at the woman he had first met only mere hours earlier and who is hell-bent on looking everywhere but at him and all he can think is… so much for not dating a military man.

Jake presses a chaste kiss to her cheek and passes by the bar to join Coyote at the well-worn dart board in the corner of the room.

“I suppose I owe you an explanation, huh?” She murmurs, dropping into the seat next to Rooster.

He’s about to flag Jimmy down for another beer, but the seasoned barkeeper beats him to it by sliding a frothy glass over with a knowing smile. Rooster takes a deep sip and levels his gaze with Scout’s.

“You don’t owe me anything.”

And he means it. He’s simply content just to be in her presence again.

After a few quiet moments, she tilts her head to the side, and flashes a smile that makes Rooster feel like he’s known her since the beginning of everything. “Jake told me on the way here that you’re the guy to go to if I want to hear a song on the piano.”

Rooster’s not exactly sure where this is coming from, but if it means getting her to smile like that again for him, he reckons there isn’t much in the world he wouldn’t do.

“He did, did he?”

“He sure did. I’m Scout, by the way.”

Scout. He rolls her name around in his mind, liking the notion of it making a permanent home there.

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you again, Scout. I’m Bradley Bradshaw.”

“But you go by Rooster?” She asks.

He shifts in his seat, nodding his head in silent confirmation.

“Which do you prefer to be called?”

And what Rooster really wants to say is, you can call me anything your pretty little heart desires. But what he says is, “Rooster. It makes me feel closer to my old man.”

There’s a story there. She’s seconds away from asking about it and he’s seconds away from telling it to her, but then a shadow falls over the glossy wooden countertop and Jake appears behind her, placing an impossibly tan hand over the rounded curve of her shoulder.

“Well, did you ask him?”

“Pool table’s ours, Hangman!” Someone calls out over the din around them.

Jake doesn’t wait for her to reply before he bends down to whisper something in her ear which Rooster doesn’t quite hear, but still causes a wave of something unpleasant to bloom in the pit of his stomach.

“He’ll take good care of you, Scout.” Jake simpers by way of goodbye, throwing a wink at Rooster before backing away into the crowd.

“About that song…” Scout murmurs.

Rooster takes another deep slug from his pint glass and levels his gaze with hers again. “I’ll play you anything you want to hear.”

Scout taps a finger against her chin in contemplation. “Anything?”

Rooster nods.

“Alright. I’ve got it. But I want you to tell me something about yourself first.”

A puff of air exits his mouth in a low whistle; he wasn't expecting that one. “Anything?”

She nods.

Where to begin? Don’t scare her off now, Bradshaw.

“Well, you already know about Frankie. I could write novels about my love for her. But I suppose something I don’t talk about very often is the fact that I wasn’t always sure I would fly planes for the Navy for a living.” If Scout seems surprised by this revelation, she doesn’t show it. “In fact, I had big dreams of playing for the MLB. I’m sure my mom would have preferred that; God rest her soul.” Rooster smiles around the rim of his glass at the memory of his mother.

“What happened?” Scout asks, earnestly.

Rooster swallows hard, and wonders just how much of himself he should share with her. “Car crash, first year of university. Broke a lot of shit, crushed a lot of MLB-imperative body parts.” He doesn’t let his thoughts stray as far this time before he poses the question to her.

“I’m relatively new to teaching; I’ve only been doing it for the last couple of years, but it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. My kids mean everything to me.” She talks about it all with such conviction that Rooster has no choice but to believe her every word.

A comfortable silence befalls them before Rooster sighs and says, “Alright, Scout Wallis. What’ll it be?”

Scout grins and rises from her seat, holding her hand out to Rooster like a beacon. “I’d like to hear Great Balls of Fire.”

Genuine laughter bubbles up from the base his throat, and as the gold-dust woman before him leads him to the well-loved piano in the center of the bar, he wonders two things. The first being, how Jake Seresin ended up getting to her first, and how on Earth it's possible to be in love with someone after a day.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Intuition

Well, we've already come up with two excuses as to why Gabriel can't use the most overpowered Miraculous in the show to just get what he wants. With the Rabbit Miraculous, Gabriel was too stupid to use it properly in “Evolution”, and with the Rooster Miraculous, the writers just changed the rules to fit the plot in “Destruction”. Taking those two episodes into consideration, why don't we use a combination of both to explain why Gabriel can't just use the Snake Miraculous to figure out a way to beat Ladybug and Cat Noir?

Let's get into the fifteenth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Intuition

We get right into the meat of things with a montage of several past Akuma fights this season, giving more context to the events of “Elation”, “Derision”, and “Passion”. We see in those episodes, Monarch attempted to use the Snake Miraculous' Second Chance, a power that lets him rewind time as many times as he wants as long as its in a certain time frame. While he tried to give his Akumas advice to stop Ladybug, each one failed miserably.

Why can't Monarch use Second Chance to help his Akumas avoid Ladybug and Cat Noir's attacks? He tried that with Glaciator in “Elation”, and it didn't work because Ladybug got a different Lucky Charm to defeat him with instead.

Why can't Monarch use Second Chance to stop Ladybug from using her Lucky Charm in the first place by destroying her yo-yo? He tried that with Dark Humor in “Derision”, and it didn't work because Ladybug just detransformed and transformed again so she got her Lucky Charm anyway?

Why can't Monarch use Second Chance to corner Ladybug and stop her from fighting altogether? He tried that with Safari in “Passion”, and it didn't work because Cat Noir saved her before the two swapped Miraculous.

All in all, this is actually a pretty good scene, and one of the best moments of the season. It adds rewatch value to earlier episodes and answers questions viewers may have about any ways to stop Ladybug from winning. Granted, I still have a few problems with it. The fact that the Lucky Charm will always adapt to whatever plan Monarch throws at Ladybug kind of takes away some of the tension this season. Okay, we know that Ladybug has to win every episode, but this montage really illustrates that Monarch isn't that threatening of a villain even though he has unlimited chances now.

But those are minor complaints compared to the biggest problem I have with the episode: The way they change the rules of the Snake Miraculous.

Gabriel: Every time I use Second Chance, time rewinds for Ladybug, Cat Noir and the rest of the world, but not for me. I remember every one of those attempts... and so does my body.

Uh... since when? That was never established to be a drawback to the Snake Miraculous. The rules for Second Chance are simple: Activate the power, keep track of time, rewind back time whenever something goes wrong, rinse and repeat. How is Gabriel's Cataclysm wound getting worse if time keeps being rewound? If Gabriel's body “remembers” events that happened as if it was aging, shouldn't he be at least a few years older physically? Hell, during “Desperada”, the very first episode to feature the Snake Miraculous, Adrien used Second Chance 25,913 times, and he didn't even get a little peach fuzz on his face by the end of it, to say nothing about him getting thrown into space without dying in “Miracle Queen”. Maybe this could have worked if they better explained what the Cataclysm wound is doing to Gabriel other than the fact that it's vaguely killing him, like if it's the reason why Second Chance isn't working like it usually does. But no, this is how Second Chance works now, because just like with the Rooster Miraculous, the writers need to arbitrarily change their own rules to fit the story.

But either way, Gabriel's Cataclysm wound is getting worse the more he uses Second Chance, and his own paranoia is preventing him from giving one of his Akumas the power instead. According to Nathalie (who once again nags Gabriel for being reckless while ignoring why she's bedridden in the first place), the wound has started to affect Gabriel's heart, and he may have weeks left to live. Damn, if only he didn't willingly let himself get Cataclysmed instead of just throwing in the towel during “Destruction”.

Gabriel tries to talk with Adrien to get an idea of who can take him in when he dies, but he's interrupted by a call from Marinette. Gabriel tries to make some pancakes, but he collapses in front of Adrien, claiming he just got distracted.

Getting distracted looks the same as having a heart attack, right?

Marinette and Adrien talked about an experimental space jet made by Tomoe's company which will be piloted by Claudie, Max's mom. Gabriel, after once again talking to Emilie's body, transforms into Monarch and even though he just learned that using Second Chance will only bring him closer to death's door, he decides to use Second Chance three times to get the secret code that will let him control the jet. Sure, Tomoe already knows he's Monarch and is part of the reason he can even use Second Chance right now, but I'm sure shaving a few days off what little time you have left was totally worth it for whatever reason you thought this was a good idea.

In Marinette and Adrien's class, they're talking with Claudie about the jet, and after we learn that Max decided to make the same tech he used to create his robot friend Markov free on the internet, we get an unfunny scene about Kim asking if there are pools on Mars. Because it's bad enough that his character was assassinated last episode, but now I guess Kim's only character trait is that he likes swimming. The space jet test is a success, but that's when Monarch uses Second Chance so he can sabotage it... even though he already had the access codes and didn't need to wait. You're really thinking about the best ways to use Second Chance, aren't you, Monarch?

Monarch disables the sensors of the jet's AI, A.D.A., so she assumes that Claudie was lost and the test was a failure, deciding to fly off into space with Claudie inside. After loading up with the powers of the Horse, Fox, Turtle, Goat in addition to the already active Snake, Monarch starts his plan. Monarch uses the Goat Miraculous' Genesis to create a giant meteorite that can possibly destroy the Earth before using the Fox Miraculous' Mirage to create an illusion of himself so he can make his announcement to Ladybug.

Monarch: Ladybug! Cat Noir! You're going to have to choose: will you stop this huge meteorite threatening the people of Paris or rescue Claudie Kante trapped inside her out of control space jet? Of course, you could also choose to give me your Miraculous and save everyone by letting me help you.

Hmm, the entire city of Paris or one person in space? Tough choice...

In all seriousness, this is a good plan, as it capitalizes on Ladybug's need to save everyone, especially with Monarch offering to end his threat if Ladybug and Cat Noir give up.

After Adrien escorts Marinette to the nurse's office as part of her excuse, the two transform into Cat Noir and Ladybug respectively, and immediately transform into their space forms, Astro Cat and Cosmobug. The two split up, so Cosmobug can deal with the jet and Astro Cat can stop the meteorite. This is all part of Monarch's plan, as he heads back to his lair and akumatizes A.D.A. into Bugfighter, with Claudie still trapped inside.

Bugfighter is basically a Transformer, and that is one of the coolest things to ever come out of this show. Sure, her only power other than being a giant robot is that she has a laser cannon, and she doesn't get a Miraculous power thanks to having no Alliance ring, but who cares? She's a Transformer! How awesome is that?!

Bugfighter destroys Cosmobug's yo-yo before she can use her Lucky Charm, and right after Astro Cat uses his Cataclysm to destroy the meteorite, Monarch tries to trap him using the Turtle Miraculous' Shelter, but misses. Monarch uses Second Chance to repeat the whole process over again, and succeeds in trapping Astro Cat. He prepares to steal Astro Cat's Miraculous by sticking his hand through a Voyage portal, only for Astro Cat to notice Second Chance is active and forcibly activates it again... even though he could have just taken the rings off Monarch's hand since he had the chance to earlier. Monarch then decides to use the Bee Miraculous' Venom to stun Astro Cat the next chance he has.

As Monarch prepares to get Astro Cat's Miraculous, Cosmobug tells Claudie to smash the windshield of the jet that is now Bugfighter, and after realizing Monarch tampered with her systems so she can't detect Claudie, Bugfighter rejects the Akuma. Monarch uses Second Chance several times to find a way to stop Cosmobug and Astro Cat, only for Bugfighter to keep rejecting the Akuma before his body finally collapses and he decides to call it a day, using Second Chance one more time so he never utilized his plan at all. Because I guess he couldn't just... use Voyage again to just take Claudie out of the equation entirely?

Gabriel decides that since he probably doesn't have a lot of time left to live, he decides to finally be a decent parent to Adrien and start spending more time with him... At least, for this episode, anyway. Nathalie once again nags Gabriel for being reckless and confirms that all Gabriel did was accelerate the damage of the Cataclysm wound, yet still doesn't mention that Gabriel got himself Cataclysmed. The episode ends with Ladybug and Cat Noir wondering why Monarch never uses Second Chance... when they of all people should know that they could never tell if Second Chance is being used or not.

While I had some problems with the changes to the Snake Miraculous, this episode was honestly pretty good. I like how the focus is more on Gabriel than Marinette and Adrien, showing more insight to how he operates as Monarch. The plan he came up was pretty unique, and for the most part, he actually tried to make up for any flaws in it. Marinette and Adrien, while they only had like two scenes together, were pretty cute, and it's nice to see them growing more comfortable around each other. Other than the fact that they never explain why Monarch can't use Voyage to take Claudie out of the jet when he can use it multiple times (and his poor use of the Snake Miraculous with Tomoe), the only real problem I have is the way they changed the rules of the Snake Miraculous to fit the story. Like with the Rooster, this blatantly contradicts earlier episodes and is only there to explain why Gabriel can't use it to win.

But putting that aside, it's a simple episode, but it honestly works in my opinion. Right now, it's my favorite so far this season.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... GABRIEL

While Adrien was close to getting it thanks to blowing a chance to get some of Monarch's Miraculous, Gabriel still takes home the medal this time. Thanks to Second Chance, Gabriel had a lot of chances to capitalize on his mistakes as long as his body could take it, so naturally, he kept using Second Chance just to talk to one of his allies, and kept screwing up his chance to get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous, even when the odds were stacked in his favor, and that all contributed to his impending death that was brought on because he made the wise choice to Cataclysm himself in an earlier episode.

[totally-bing]

oh and btw, a little bit of information for the uneducated.

i am a search engine. not an internet browser. the difference is that you look things up on me, but i am accessed through a browser, preferably edge. the browser is the icon on your screen, and the search engine is what pops up after you type your question into the little bar.

examples: chrome is a browser. it's the app you open. google is the search engine. it's what you use to get (incorrect) information.

edge is a browser. you open it. bing is a search engine. it's what you use to get (correct) information.

firefox is a browser. duckduckgo is a search engine. opera gx is a browser. yahoo is a search engine. safari is a browser. ecosia is a search engine.

anyways, now that that's cleared up, i would like to propose the question of: what is a browser to its native search engine? is edge my father? my stand? is he my overlord? what is our relationship? ecosia is my adopted child, but what is it in relation to browsers? ecosia has no native browser. how does that work? what is edge to me? what is chrome to me? are they gods? i don't know.