#House of Cards shorts

[puppyeared]

Been LOVING your lil magician folks recently please continue they're beautiful and very cute and cool and also very well-designed!! 🥺❤️

thank you for the kind words !!! im not much of a writer, but i do have some sort of story in mind for them.. theyre bitter rivals who end up as roommates bc of their scatterbrained elderly landlord lol

[bietrofastimoff23]

«i know what you're doing to my mother behind closed doors. just dare to harm her [in my absence], and then the head that my mace will smash will be yours» energy.

[alifitoc]

The Story of Barnaby Michaels - Part 1 of 2

Synopsis: The story of a traumatized, sociopathic, 26 year old law school grad Content warning: Murder, Mentions of Suicide, References to Pedophilia, Descriptions of violent acts, guns Word count: 1.3k

If there is one thing I have found that man does best, it is lie. To cheat and to steal, to put up facades and to obscure, that is the nature of the men I have seen, and undoubtedly will continue to be the nature of all men I do see. I myself am no exception.

My name is Barnaby Michaels, I am 26, and for all intents and purposes I am not a good man. Far from it, I am a manipulator, a cheat, a hack, a scoundrel, some people might even dare to call me “evil”. Though I pay no mind to it. To me it is all just what I am. Besides, we’re all like this, it’s just some choose to run from it, while others, like myself, embrace it.

I cling to my selfishness for no other reason than the fact that it is what has worked for the 26 years I have been alive. All four of my grandparents died before I was born so I had no elderly to listen to, I am an only child, so I had no brothers and sisters to collude with, and both of my parents were dead before I even turned 16. A shot to the head both times. Though my father preferred a shotgun over a revolver.

Now here I am. What do I do you ask? Well, after the violent and noisy deaths of my two heaven appointed – though now hell residing – guardians, I managed, somehow or other to finish high school, a year early at that, though of course I conscripted the help of a few notes outside of the standard curriculum. After that, to the shock of no one I’m sure, I resolved to become a lawyer. Like a moth to napalm.

So, I continued on my path towards the courts, utilizing much the same methods I used in highschool, and somehow always succeeding. Perhaps the devil is kinder to his patrons than god is to his servants. Lucifer may have beguiled some mortal men to sign over their souls but good old padre in the kingdom above has committed mass genocide as a reset button. Anyhow, after a good few years in a place filled with supposed adults, writing paper after paper, case study after case study, I got my license to practice.

It's been a year since then and while I don’t appreciate having to lick up to the dirty boots of the senior partners, as a first year there’s not much I can do. To pass the time, and to stop myself from committing mass assault, I commit murder.

Now, how pray tell does a 20 something, sociopath with a full-time white-collar job commit murder? Well, with the internet anything is possible. I simply go on to a variety of discord dating servers, under my false alias “Alice06uwu” and start playing the part of an underaged girl looking for “friends”. Eventually, one of these “friends” will come sliding into my DMs and from there it’s just a matter of time. All I have to do is type the proverbial phrase “do u want to meet up lol” and much like Eve when she saw the apple, they take the bite.

My first was a man named Kevin. He was 35, a typical age for someone with his “proclivities”, had black curly hair and was borderline obese. I told him that I had left the door open so that he could just waltz right in. I also assured him that my “parents” weren’t home at the time.

Sure enough he came wandering in.

“Alice, you there?” he said with a gleeful tint of joy in his speech.

I was behind him, wearing all black and hidden within the darkness of the lamp that I decided not to turn on. I saw him, with his green cargo pants and his black T-shirt that had some Japanese text written on the back. His shoes were beaten black and white sneakers, and his glasses square with thick green rims. He disgusted me, and so I attacked.

With a crowbar in hand I struck his temple from behind, Immediately he was on the floor. My strike left a minor gash in the back of his head where it oozed dark red. He was out, but not permanently. It sent shivers down my spine, my eyes widened, and my whole body was jittery, it felt as if my skeleton was jumping from within.

Is this what true excitement feels like? I thought to myself.

Usually, my mind is pretty calm and emotions are subdued, can’t feel much when you’ve lived a life like mine. But, finally at that moment, I felt a truly unimaginable thrill waft through my whole being. But, I had no time to reminisce about my new self-discoveries, and so I took some zip ties, rope for good measure, a blindfold, a chair, some tape, and got to work.

After 12 minutes and 32 seconds Kevin woke up.

He struggled against the steel chair, his tied-up arms writhing, and fists clinched. Unable to break free his feet then tried their hardest to push against the hemp, ultimately though he was only able to bounce the chair around a few inches. Back and forth he went, etching skid marks on the concrete floor below. With his mouth taped shut I was still able to hear his cries for help, but eventually after a few more minutes of this pointless exertion, he and all 250 plus pounds of blubber tired themselves out. Then there was silence.

I approached and placed my hand on the duct tape.

A quick tear, and then a violent scream followed.

“AAAH” He screeched.

Then the sound of his paradoxical breath filled the garage.

“Who are you? what do you want?” He shouted.

I remained silent. Though within me was an orchestra of exhilaration, it took all that I had at the time to hold myself to no words.

“Please, I’m sorry for being a creep, was she your daughter?”

His voice sounded like a grinder sawing through metal, its twang invoked within me terribly violent urges that ruined the elation I was previously feeling.

“I swear man, I wasn’t thinking straight, Alice invited me here, I wasn’t thinking of doing any weird shit I sw-”

“Shut the fuck up”, I interjected.

He froze with a slight yelp.

“Your voice is so fucking annoying that it’s ruined everything” I said with a low voice.

“What do you mean…Ruined?”

I circled behind him with my revolver in my hand. Much like mothers’ it was small, with an oak wood grip and a bright silver barrel. I placed it behind the wound made by my crowbar just a half hour ago and I cocked the hammer.

Click

Upon hearing this Kevin immediately squealed and began pleading.

“No, Please No”

“You gotta understand I’m not right in the head”

“I’m sick, I need to be locked up, in an insane asylum, in a ward”

I rested the muzzle to the back of his head.

“No no no no no, please”

“Just report me to the police please, there’s no need to do this”

“I don’t know why you’re doing all of this but I’m sorry man, I should have known better I-.”

Again I chimed in, unable to contain my irritation.

“Your voice is annoying, shut the fuck up”

He went mute immediately, before whispering to himself.

Seeing this, I decided enough was enough. My momentary joy had just been ruined by this idiotic pedophiles’ rambling, and I could not take it any longer. I shoved the gun into the cut, causing him to wince in pain.

I waited for a moment, after which he began sobbing. Tears flowed down his face, I could hear him choking down phlegm and snot. Within me a strange combination of satisfaction and extreme annoyance welled. I laid my finger on the trigger, while his face was covered in his own snot and tears, his feet and arms trembling, and his teeth and fists clenched, causing crimson to pour from his gums and palms. I put my earplugs in, before finally.

BANG

To which his body went limp, and all was quiet.

[mer-se]

it’s crazy how people don’t think their death will affect people around them even if you aren’t close to them, or even if they were just semi passing encounters like no, others feel it. my neighbor died and as I park my car and look up at her dark little house it makes me so sad - I wanna go inside and turn on the lights she always has on. People notice and will feel it even if you don’t believe it.

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[malkaleh]

I am so tired and teary it is completely ridiculous.

[esoraluco]

Self insertober 1 Sweater. Mosquito guy sweater sharing day

[todayisafridaynight]

Today at trivia: learned a baby hedgehog is called a hoglet. You've many hedgehog themed shenanigans here and I thought you'd like to know if you didn't already 💕

YEAAAHHHH LIL HOGLETS !!!!!! an UPMOST important fact to know...

[ereborne]

This morning, Nick asked for a pencil--I pulled one out of my hair for him. 

Later, Lily asked for a bookmark--I pulled one out of my hair for her. 

Later, Duncan asked if anybody had a spare hairtie--I made him cup his two hands together, filled his hands with all the things currently in my hair, took the scrunchie out of my hair, twisted my hair back up and anchored it with pencils, put all my stuff back in it, and gave him the scrunchie. 

Later, Mom asked for a permanent marker--I pulled one out of my hair for her. 

Later, Ben said he was feeling snacky, did anybody have anything to eat.  I do not, I must admit, actually keep food in my hair.  But I did have novelty kitkats in my pocket, and I did get bored the other day and spend a little time on my sleight of hand. 

I pulled one, two, three kitkats out of my hair for him. 

[senadimell]

I'm normally a huge fan of USPS, and I still am, but it is very unfriendly to people without stable addresses. You can't forward your mail to a house you don't permanently live in (and have proof of residence in, like your name on a lease). If you want to forward your mail somewhere, your billing address has to either be the place you are sending it to or the place you just came from.

You can't get a P.O. box without proof of residence.

that said, however, I did learn that if you do not have an address, you can have mail sent to Your Name, General Mail, Town/Zipcode and pick it up at the post office.

[pinkpluswhite]

kinda want seth and finns match at summerslam to be no DQ but i imagine jey and romans will have a stipulation too so i dee kay 😭😭

[owlhousetarot]

Any q’s while I work on the Moon? 👀🤲🏻

[horrorcrawl]

Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965) 🚂

Director: Freddie Francis (Amicus Productions) Genres: Horror, Supernatural 🐺🦇🌿🎵 Notes: Train, Tarot Cards, Short Stories, Good Camera Work, Old House, Curse, Wolf Spirit/ Werewolf, Possession, Killer Plants, Voodoo God, Musicians, Artist, Suicide, Disembodied Hand, Practical FX, Vampires, Bat on a String

Review: This film has a star studded cast all doing great work. You'll likely recognize many of these actors in addition to legends Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. This is a fun collection of stories being told from the fortune teller Dr. Terror on a Train. Brilliantly done with a great twist ending. This movie has a a little something for everyone. Overall I give Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (date): Must Watch! 💀

-Warnings for Folks- Mental Health: Suicide Racist Trope: Some BIPOC are depicted in a Voodoo dance and worship, this is a very theatrical and inaccurate depiction of the real life belief and practice. Also some cultural appropriation going on for plot

[chaninfused]

me finding the person who hid this fic from me for years

caged in this lullaby ⤖ lee felix

❖ genre : assassin au; cop au; action; fluff; angst

❖ word count : 7,2k.

❖ warning : explicit language, mentions of blood, arson & violence 

❖ summary : felix ultimately lets go of all and allows himself to drown in the ashes of bitter tragedy to see what stays. the last thing he’d expect is a stranger with his greatest secret. 

❖ dedicated to @blueprint-han​ : a continuation of aria of an assassin. song used — the lullaby by sophism, all credits to the owner. 

prologue.

Fire cares not for the time it vanishes, only that it gives the world heat and light.

The entire building burns deeply in red, orange, and yellow. The cries of the neighborhood echoes into the night with sirens blaring in the background. Your frozen figure can only watch in terror as glowing embers dance and twirl, searing through the ground, ripping through the roof in despair. Tendrils of smoke are reaching into the sky desperately as if attempting to escape the blazing inferno below.

Keep reading

[haverwood]

My House Alexander Edep USA, 2020