#no longer human insp

[alifitoc]

The Story of Barnaby Michaels - Part 1 of 2

Synopsis: The story of a traumatized, sociopathic, 26 year old law school grad Content warning: Murder, Mentions of Suicide, References to Pedophilia, Descriptions of violent acts, guns Word count: 1.3k

If there is one thing I have found that man does best, it is lie. To cheat and to steal, to put up facades and to obscure, that is the nature of the men I have seen, and undoubtedly will continue to be the nature of all men I do see. I myself am no exception.

My name is Barnaby Michaels, I am 26, and for all intents and purposes I am not a good man. Far from it, I am a manipulator, a cheat, a hack, a scoundrel, some people might even dare to call me “evil”. Though I pay no mind to it. To me it is all just what I am. Besides, we’re all like this, it’s just some choose to run from it, while others, like myself, embrace it.

I cling to my selfishness for no other reason than the fact that it is what has worked for the 26 years I have been alive. All four of my grandparents died before I was born so I had no elderly to listen to, I am an only child, so I had no brothers and sisters to collude with, and both of my parents were dead before I even turned 16. A shot to the head both times. Though my father preferred a shotgun over a revolver.

Now here I am. What do I do you ask? Well, after the violent and noisy deaths of my two heaven appointed – though now hell residing – guardians, I managed, somehow or other to finish high school, a year early at that, though of course I conscripted the help of a few notes outside of the standard curriculum. After that, to the shock of no one I’m sure, I resolved to become a lawyer. Like a moth to napalm.

So, I continued on my path towards the courts, utilizing much the same methods I used in highschool, and somehow always succeeding. Perhaps the devil is kinder to his patrons than god is to his servants. Lucifer may have beguiled some mortal men to sign over their souls but good old padre in the kingdom above has committed mass genocide as a reset button. Anyhow, after a good few years in a place filled with supposed adults, writing paper after paper, case study after case study, I got my license to practice.

It's been a year since then and while I don’t appreciate having to lick up to the dirty boots of the senior partners, as a first year there’s not much I can do. To pass the time, and to stop myself from committing mass assault, I commit murder.

Now, how pray tell does a 20 something, sociopath with a full-time white-collar job commit murder? Well, with the internet anything is possible. I simply go on to a variety of discord dating servers, under my false alias “Alice06uwu” and start playing the part of an underaged girl looking for “friends”. Eventually, one of these “friends” will come sliding into my DMs and from there it’s just a matter of time. All I have to do is type the proverbial phrase “do u want to meet up lol” and much like Eve when she saw the apple, they take the bite.

My first was a man named Kevin. He was 35, a typical age for someone with his “proclivities”, had black curly hair and was borderline obese. I told him that I had left the door open so that he could just waltz right in. I also assured him that my “parents” weren’t home at the time.

Sure enough he came wandering in.

“Alice, you there?” he said with a gleeful tint of joy in his speech.

I was behind him, wearing all black and hidden within the darkness of the lamp that I decided not to turn on. I saw him, with his green cargo pants and his black T-shirt that had some Japanese text written on the back. His shoes were beaten black and white sneakers, and his glasses square with thick green rims. He disgusted me, and so I attacked.

With a crowbar in hand I struck his temple from behind, Immediately he was on the floor. My strike left a minor gash in the back of his head where it oozed dark red. He was out, but not permanently. It sent shivers down my spine, my eyes widened, and my whole body was jittery, it felt as if my skeleton was jumping from within.

Is this what true excitement feels like? I thought to myself.

Usually, my mind is pretty calm and emotions are subdued, can’t feel much when you’ve lived a life like mine. But, finally at that moment, I felt a truly unimaginable thrill waft through my whole being. But, I had no time to reminisce about my new self-discoveries, and so I took some zip ties, rope for good measure, a blindfold, a chair, some tape, and got to work.

After 12 minutes and 32 seconds Kevin woke up.

He struggled against the steel chair, his tied-up arms writhing, and fists clinched. Unable to break free his feet then tried their hardest to push against the hemp, ultimately though he was only able to bounce the chair around a few inches. Back and forth he went, etching skid marks on the concrete floor below. With his mouth taped shut I was still able to hear his cries for help, but eventually after a few more minutes of this pointless exertion, he and all 250 plus pounds of blubber tired themselves out. Then there was silence.

I approached and placed my hand on the duct tape.

A quick tear, and then a violent scream followed.

“AAAH” He screeched.

Then the sound of his paradoxical breath filled the garage.

“Who are you? what do you want?” He shouted.

I remained silent. Though within me was an orchestra of exhilaration, it took all that I had at the time to hold myself to no words.

“Please, I’m sorry for being a creep, was she your daughter?”

His voice sounded like a grinder sawing through metal, its twang invoked within me terribly violent urges that ruined the elation I was previously feeling.

“I swear man, I wasn’t thinking straight, Alice invited me here, I wasn’t thinking of doing any weird shit I sw-”

“Shut the fuck up”, I interjected.

He froze with a slight yelp.

“Your voice is so fucking annoying that it’s ruined everything” I said with a low voice.

“What do you mean…Ruined?”

I circled behind him with my revolver in my hand. Much like mothers’ it was small, with an oak wood grip and a bright silver barrel. I placed it behind the wound made by my crowbar just a half hour ago and I cocked the hammer.

Click

Upon hearing this Kevin immediately squealed and began pleading.

“No, Please No”

“You gotta understand I’m not right in the head”

“I’m sick, I need to be locked up, in an insane asylum, in a ward”

I rested the muzzle to the back of his head.

“No no no no no, please”

“Just report me to the police please, there’s no need to do this”

“I don’t know why you’re doing all of this but I’m sorry man, I should have known better I-.”

Again I chimed in, unable to contain my irritation.

“Your voice is annoying, shut the fuck up”

He went mute immediately, before whispering to himself.

Seeing this, I decided enough was enough. My momentary joy had just been ruined by this idiotic pedophiles’ rambling, and I could not take it any longer. I shoved the gun into the cut, causing him to wince in pain.

I waited for a moment, after which he began sobbing. Tears flowed down his face, I could hear him choking down phlegm and snot. Within me a strange combination of satisfaction and extreme annoyance welled. I laid my finger on the trigger, while his face was covered in his own snot and tears, his feet and arms trembling, and his teeth and fists clenched, causing crimson to pour from his gums and palms. I put my earplugs in, before finally.

BANG

To which his body went limp, and all was quiet.

[kairoot]

TEETH ⌇ SJY

SINK MY TEETH IN YA— jake has been hiding a huge secret from you—he’s a vampire. after going six months without feeding, his control is slipping, especially when he's around you, sensing your blood. when you notice his strange behavior and confront him, he brushes it off. but soon, he can’t hide it anymore and reveals the truth, expecting you to be scared. instead, he’s shocked when you offer to let him feed from you.

𝓅𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 vamp!jake x 𝑓．𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 esatablished relationship , thriller (?) , suggestive 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 biting.. (jake is a vamp hello…), kissing, physical touch, etc. — ℳ𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘯’𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴：layout insp by sav bb 🤍. please reblog and/or leave feedback. it is greatly appreciated !— 𝐌𝐒𝐅.

“you ready, babe?” jake asked, walking in the bedroom while still running a comb through his gelled hair.

you adjusted the necklace in the mirror, moving it around to your liking.

“almost.”

jake chuckled to himself, knowing it always took you a while to get yourself dolled up and you’d stand in the mirror until you actually liked what you were wearing.

“you look fine, baby.” he appeared behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, holding you close to him.

you sighed, not believing him but prepared to leave anyway. you both decided to attend the town’s halloween party tonight (you begged jake to go), seeing as you don’t really go out as much as you used to. when you and jake started dating, you both attended nearly every gathering there was. but jake had suddenly become uninterested in going out.

you wondered why, seeing as he always seemed like a people person to you but after some thought, you figured he just wanted to stay in and enjoy each other in private. you didn’t mind it, but a part of you missed the lively atmosphere.

jake still clung to you, placing his face in the crook of your neck.

“what perfume are you wearing tonight? smells so good..” he mumbled, almost slurring, taking in whatever scent it was. the smell was so intoxicating, he almost felt faint.

“i didn’t put any on yet,” you giggled, not noticing his grip on you tighten and the slight tension in his body.

now jake was confused. if you didn’t have any perfume on, why was your scent so strong? it seemed irresistible.

but once he thought about it, the answer popped in his head. before he could pull away, a searing pain shot through the front of his mouth, causing his hand to fly up to hold it.

you turned around when you heard him let out a painful groan, placing a hand on his jaw, giving him a concerned look.

“is everything okay?” you questioned, waiting for him to answer as his face contorted in discomfort.

jake had realized that it’s been nearly 6 months since he had a taste of the red liquid that kept him alive. he had been feasting as if he were human and could live off of normal meals. but he should have known that wasn’t the case. he thought he could handle it— pretend to be human. but now his control was slipping.

jake swallowed hard, stepping back from your touch. “i’m fine.” he muttered, but his voice lacked conviction, and he couldn’t meet your eyes. he took another step back from you, sitting on the edge of your bed.

you could sense that something was wrong, a strange tension in the air. “jake.. what’s going on?”

he exhaled shakily, his facade crumbling. he didn’t want to tell you, but he knew he couldn’t keep this hidden much longer. not with the way your scent was overwhelming him, making his throat burn with need.

his hands rested beside him as he gripped the bedding, trying to calm himself down. he avoided any eye contact with you, scared that he’d immediately lose all self-control.

“baby, we don’t have go this party if you’re not feeling well—“

jake shook his head, forcing a smile that didn’t really reach his eyes, “no, i’m fine. i promised you we’d go.”

you hesitated, not at all convinced by his words. his body had relaxed a bit more but you could tell he was holding back on something, “are you sure, jake?”

jake sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i’ll be okay, babe, honestly. i just need a distraction.” he finally looked at you, a flicker of guilt in his eyes. “you’ve been looking forward to this. don’t let me ruin it for you.”

you smiled softly, walking toward him to hold brush your hand against his cheek. “alright.. but i’m driving,” you said, grabbing the car keys from the dresser. “i’m not letting you behind the wheel when you look like you’re about to faint.”

jake chuckled slightly, but there was no argument. he followed you out of the bedroom, the tension between you both still lingering. you hoped the party would actually distract him, seeing as you had a feeling that there was something he wasn’t telling you.

as you made your way to the car, you glanced at him, seeing the way his jaw clenched. he seemed so distant and you couldn’t help but worry about what the night would bring.

you both arrived at the party’s venue— a large but old mansion decked out with eerie decorations. pumpkins were scattered across the yard while cobwebs covered the corners of the porch. the sound of laughter and music was heard from the open doors of the house.

you turned the car off, sitting there for a moment before getting out. you wanted to ask jake what was really on his mind or what was bothering him.

“baby,” you called for him but no answer. he was distracted and looking at whatever was going on outside the passenger window.

“jaeyun.” your hand touched his arm this time, catching his attention. he hummed in response, turning his head to face forward now.

you shuffled closer to him, your chest pressed against the side of him.

“you know you can talk to me right?”

instead of answering, he sighed, lowering his head. if you kept asking about what was bothering him, he’d have no choice but to tell you. he hated keeping things from you especially because he knew you only wanted him to feel better and you wanted the best for him.

you leaned in to press soft kisses along his jaw, making him exhale softly. your hand made its way to his chin, turning his head so he was facing you.

you pecked his lips a couple of times before pulling away slightly to look him the eyes. they seemed darker tonight, the usual spark in them looked like it had disappeared.

"jaeyun, i mean it," you whispered against his skin. "if you're not feeling up to this, we don't have to go in. we can just head home, or even sit here for a while. i just want you to be okay."

jake closed his eyes briefly, his hand slipping down to rest on your thigh. his grip was firmer than usual, as if grounding himself with your touch. he wanted to tell you, wanted to explain the storm that was building inside him-but the words wouldn't come. not yet.

"i'm fine, really," he finally said, though even you could hear the strain in his voice.

"alright," you said softly, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear.

"but if at any point you're feeling worse, we'll leave, okay?"

jake nodded, though you noticed the way his fingers twitched against your leg.

with that, you both stepped out of the car. the cool night air hit you immediately, the atmosphere of the party drawing you in as you made your way toward the mansion. you could hear the music more clearly now, and the sounds of people laughing and talking grew louder with every step. the porch creaked slightly underfoot as you climbed the stairs, and the glow of jack-o'-lanterns flickered in the dim light, casting long shadows across the yard.

jake walked beside you, quieter than usual. you glanced at him, still feeling that nagging worry tugging at your chest, but you didn't press him any further. not yet.

“hey, you made it!” one of your friends called out from the entrance, waving excitedly as you and jake made your way inside. you returned the wave, feeling a little lighter now that you were here.

the inside of the mansion was just as lively. the grand ballroom was filled with people dancing, their costumes a blur of color under the dim, spooky lighting. fake bats and skeletons hung from the chandeliers, and fog machines pumped mist across the floor, creating an eerie, dreamlike atmosphere.

you turned to jake, who was scanning the room, his eyes darting from person to person. you noticed the way his jaw clenched again, the same tension from earlier creeping back into his posture.

“you okay?” you asked, touching his arm.

“yeah, just… a lot of people,” he muttered, his voice tight.

you frowned, your concern growing. he usually loved being around crowds, but tonight, he seemed different—on edge.

“why don’t we grab a drink?” you suggested, hoping to distract him. “maybe that’ll help.”

jake hesitated, his eyes still fixed on the crowd, but eventually nodded. “yeah. sure.”

you led the way to the drink table, but as you walked through the sea of partygoers, you noticed the way he kept glancing around, making you think he was looking for something—or someone.

you both made your way through the crowd after getting drinks, but something about jake’s energy felt off. he was quieter than usual, not fully engaging with anyone who greeted him, his hand gripping yours just a little too tightly. every so often, you caught him looking around, almost like he was on edge, but when you asked him if everything was okay, he brushed it off with a forced smile.

“i’m fine, i’m okay” he would say, but you weren’t convinced.

the party went on for a while, but jake grew more distant with every passing minute. eventually, you both decided to leave early, the fun of the night overshadowed by jake’s strange behavior. he seemed relieved as you left the venue, though the tension between you still lingered.

when you arrived home, the atmosphere had shifted again. jake seemed distracted, his body tense as if he was trying to hold something back. you went into the kitchen to grab a snack, thinking over the night’s events.

as you were cutting up your fruit for a late snack, a sharp pain ran across your finger as you sliced it while using the kitchen knife. you hissed, dropping the knife as you instinctively pressed your other hand to the cut.

“damnit,” you muttered, holding your hand under the sink to clean it. as you did, you noticed jake’s sudden stillness. he hadn’t moved from his spot in the doorway, his eyes locked on your hand.

his gaze was fixated on the small trail of blood now dripping from your hand, his breathing heavier than before.

“it’s just a cut,” you said softly, noticing the strange look in his eyes. but as you stepped toward him, his expression darkened, a hunger creeping into his features that made your heart skip a beat.

“you should… get that cleaned up,” he muttered, his voice low and strained. “i’ll get the bandages.” he said, but his eyes never left your finger.

but before you could move, jake was suddenly closer to you, his body tense and his breathing ragged as if he was fighting against something. you could feel the heat of his presence, the way his eyes darkened as he watched the blood still pooling at your fingertip.

“jake, what’s really going on?” you asked, your voice soft but filled with concern. “you’ve been acting strange all night..”

he hesitated, his jaw clenched, but you could see the struggle in his eyes.

he wanted to pull away, but he leaned in instead, his nose brushing against your skin as he inhaled deeply, his eyes fluttering shut. “your blood.. the smell is driving me insane.”

your breath caught in your throat. “..what does that mean?”

he swallowed hard, his eyes dark and filled with a hunger you’d never seen before. “i haven’t fed in months, y/n,” he confessed, his voice raw. “i tried to stay away from it, i swear.“

you stared at him, the weight of his confession settling over you like a heavy fog. “you… you’re a—?” the words felt foreign on your tongue, but jake’s pained expression told you everything you needed to know.

he nodded slowly, stepping back as if ashamed. “i didn’t want you to find out like this. i’m so sorry.”

you were quiet for a moment, processing everything. then, despite the fear and the shock coursing through you, you made a decision. “then take it.”

jake’s head snapped up, his eyes wide. “w-what?”

“my blood,” you said, your voice steady even though your heart was racing. “if you need it, then take it. i trust you.”

jake shook his head. “baby, you know i can’t do that. i don’t wanna hurt you..”

“you won’t,” you whispered, moving back until you were pressed against the door, his body hovering over yours. “i know you won’t. i trust you, jake.”

his eyes searched yours, desperate and conflicted, but the hunger was too strong to resist. with a shuddering breath, he leaned in, his hands holding the sides of your neck as his lips brushed against the skin.. “tell me to stop,” he whispered, his voice trembling.

you shook your head, breath shuttering as you tilted your head back. his arms encircled your waist, pulling you closer.

“bite me,” you whispered once more, your hands gripping his shoulders as you waited to feel that small pinch.

jake’s fangs elongated as he wasted no time sinking his teeth in you. you gasped softly, the feeling being a mix a pain and ecstasy.

a deep groan of relief escapes his lips, the satisfaction of finally feeding without blood overwhelming him. his grip tightened on your hips as he pulled you closer, nearly losing control (again).

jake pulled away before he could drink any more, his lips tinted red before his tongue darted out to clean it up. he pecked the bite mark, hoping it would soon feel better.

you clung to him, almost hypnotized by the feeling of his teeth against your skin. he looked in your eyes, chuckling at the dazed look you gave him.

“you okay, princess?” he asks as his hand brushed away the strands of your hair.

you nodded, way too distracted to even give him a verbal response.

“c-can you do that again?”

🖇️. @wonsdoll @mimismenu @yourssincerely-mimi @riribelle @nerdimoo @sngleehee @elysianiki — only accepting 40 people.

🝮. @k-films

[enhaunts]

i'll add to this as i think of things

[strangerstilinski]

𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡

𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Watch out, don't look. She's your nightmare of a dream. Go home, run fast… Blood's her favorite shade of red. Say your prayers and go to bed.

warnings; no use of y/n, fem!reader, reader referred to as a girl twice i think?, blood, blood is a big plot point here, reader isn't exactly human, a little vampiric?, eddie & dustin kind of come to the rescue, steve centric though, oral sex, penetrative sex, just to be clear reader doesn't hurt steve or make him bleed, she just craves blood, don't let the insp. fool you this is actually very soft

(loosely inspired by jennifer's body)

word count; ~10k

a/n; i had a couple of drinks and watched jennifer's body and suddenly i couldn't think about anything but this. did this turn out a lot longer and little softer than i initially intended?? yes! yes it did. idk what to tell you.

please think about leaving a comment/reblogging if you enjoy! x

𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝟏𝟖+

Everything's a bit foggy when you first wake.

Your memories, or lack thereof, refuse to come when you dig through the recesses of your mind, no clues or wisps of recollection trickling in no matter how strongly you will them to come. An ache forms in your temples as you attempt to recall where you are, where you've been, how you got here.

Where even was here?

A gust of wind rushes over your bare skin and prompts the distantly familiar rustle of leaves and branches that always accompanies a breeze in the woods. Every inch of your exposed flesh pebbles up uncomfortably from the cold, hairs on your arm standing on end, nipples tightening into hard peaks, stomach tensing as you fight off a full-body shiver.

Then comes the slow twitch of your fingers. The ability to move your extremities slowly creeps back in, allowing your hand to curl loosely around the cool earth underneath you, dirt and rocks and long-dead leaves wedging themselves beneath your fingernails.

Gravel and twigs crunch beneath your head when you roll it ever so slightly to the side and crack your eyes open. Through cloudy vision, you fight to focus on the spring-blooming trees above. It's overly difficult, that simple task of keeping your eyes open through the slow fluttering blinks, your eyelids heavy and leaden as you struggle to adjust to the dark twilight around you.

A groan rumbles up your throat when you drag yourself up, legs shaking, ankles weak, vision wavering. Bleary eyes take in the way that the trees seem to sway around you, take in the sun just cresting the horizon, and finally, when you stumble and your gaze drops, they take in the blood covering your naked body. Streaks of it down your chest so thick that the color of your nipples underneath is indistinguishable from your bare skin. It covers your stomach with a shade of red so dark it nearly looks black in the dim light of early morning, dripping down your pelvis and smearing wetly into the crease of your thighs. The warmth of it has already begun to dwindle and cool against your skin from the chill of the air and your palm meets the blood-soaked skin of your lower belly on instinct, hazy vision zeroing in on the way the color looks against your fingertips as thick droplets fall from your hand to the earth below.

Someone else's blood? Or your own?

The lack of recollection has fear slithering its way up the length of your spine and you do shiver this time. Cold and lost, you're overwhelmed with a niggling feeling of hunger swirling in your gut, the strength of it unlike anything you've ever felt before. A cold pit of hollow emptiness paired cruelly with a stabbing pain in your abdomen. The ache only seems to amplify the dryness in your throat, the tremble in your dirt and blood-crusted fingers.

Everything feels heavier than it should — Clumsier. One of your hands shoots out when you stumble over your own feet. You brace yourself against a tree as you try to refamiliarize yourself with the way that each your muscles and limbs work, every movement requiring too much effort. Each small step in your body feeling alien and forced, unnervingly foreign.

It's while your head continues to throb painfully against your skull that your fingertips find a smooth patch of wood. You rub at that place where the bark has been deliberately stripped away from the tree's trunk, the surface providing a blank canvas for the initials that have been clumsily etched into the living wood. While you dig your fingernail into the curve of that first letter, you take a deep breath to steady yourself.

As your lungs fill, a dark fog further clouds your already muddled brain. It's no longer the smell of the earth and the trees of the forest around you that rush to your senses. Instead, your nose is suddenly filled with the scent of teakwood, nicotine, and spice — mingling sweetly with something warm that you can't quite place, but makes your belly flip with interest all the same.

Mind clouded and knees shaky, you push away from the tree, some vague sense of rightness pulling you a step to the right, and then another, until you're wandering slowly to the edge of the forest and toward the road that lays just beyond the treeline.

Your throat itches painfully as you recall the scent that lingered behind and clung to that carving in the tree trunk. It burns in your throat. It pushes your feet to move faster. The smell as well as the shape of the letters that are now etched behind your eyelids.

S. H.

Wind of his own creation whips against Steve's face as he pushes through the exhaustion and wills his body to keep going. Sweat trickles down from his hairline, cresting his brow bone and streaking a path over his temple before the tickle of it forces Steve to hook his fingers into the damp fabric of his shirt, his shoulder lifting to wipe the droplet away.

His heavy breaths cloud in barely visible puffs of foggy condensation in the cool morning air, the heat building beneath his skin from exertion causing a pink flush to creep up the tanned skin of his neck and face.

The deserted street holds only the soft sound of his tattered running shoes slapping against the pavement with each stride, the sharp huffs of air that push through his nose with every breath in and out, the muffled beat of the music that trickles out from the foam pads he has hooked over his ears, a wire winding down to the walkman clipped at the waistband of his shorts.

The sun creeps up higher with each minute that passes, each mile toward downtown and then each mile back toward his tiny two bedroom fixer-upper on the outskirts of Hawkins. The dark blue of the morning sky is giving way to a lighter shade tinged with orange, the trees that hug the pavement blocking out most of the morning light that begins to creep back into the world.

Dim streaks of gold filter through the dusty window panes in his kitchen when he finally makes it home. Headphones still slotted over his ears, the music streaming through them blocks out the sound of his own labored breathing as he fills a glass of water from the sink.

The pipes groan with the effort and the front door creaks ominously on its hinges as it swings open again just outside the kitchen. Meanwhile, Steve gulps down the cool water, grateful for the way it soothes the dryness in his raw throat. The slow drag of bare feet across the battered floorboards go unheard as Steve quickly finishes his glass and fills it once more, sipping more slowly the second time around.

As you shuffle farther into the house, the first thing that you notice is how potent his scent is in the space. Every inch of the small house seems to be soaked in it; the heap of fabric hanging from the coat rack against the wall, the cushions on the battered sofa in the living room and the fleece blanket folded over the back, even the porous wood of the table and chairs is absolutely drenched in the smell of him.

The strength of it is overwhelming and it only proves to hypnotize you further as you step into the room behind him. The boy's overheated skin is giving off a delicious mix of sweetness with just a tinge of the sour stench of his sweat. You can practically feel the warmth of his blood and flesh on your tongue and it makes your mouth water, makes your chest tight with anticipation and excitement that you don't quite understand.

You can focus on little else, barely able to register the haphazardly cut off sleeves of the stranger's tshirt or the way that those gaping holes exposes the sides of his pecs and the hair beneath his arms. You hardly notice the way that his tiny cotton shorts hug his muscular thighs so wonderfully, nor the way that long hazelnut locks curls wetly around the sweatband that holds the hair back from his face.

The scent of him so close is intoxicating, the hunger in your gut too all-encompassing to truly relish in the way his shoulders strain beneath sweat-soaked cotton when he lifts a cup of water to his mouth.

Your feet carry you forward with a primal sort of instinct, until you're mere inches from the man's unsuspecting back, until you can see the drop of sweat that weaves out from beneath his hair and drips beneath the collar of his shirt.

Something prickles at the back of Steve's neck then, as you crowd closer, tiny hairs at the top of his spine standing on end while discomfort scrapes at the corner of his brain. It prompts him to turn, and the glass in his hand slips from his grasp and cracks loudly against the floor when he flinches in surprise. His headphones fall from his ears and settle to hang around his neck just in time for him to hear the sound of glass and water shattering against the kitchen tile.

Steve clutches at his own chest, “Jesus fucking-”

Though you're not sure why, you don't immediately attack. Something has you holding back, the ache in your throat burning like fire when you breathe him in again. His scent clings to the oxygen in a way that has your breath catching in your chest.

Steve's heart is pounding in his ears over the distant sound of the music that continues to blare through the headphones around his neck, but when he finally focusses on the sight of you in front of him, any fear for his own well-being is gone, flipping entirely until the sole focus of his worry is on you.

The stranger standing in his kitchen is looking at him with the hollow gaze of someone haunted, someone with demons. You look like you've been through hell, or perhaps like you've just stepped off the set of a slasher movie. Your hair is a tangled mess of twigs and leaves. The warm orange light filtering in through the windows displays curves of your naked body, blood covering the vastness of your exposed skin. He can't immediately make out an injury beneath all of the red, but it doesn't stop him from ripping his walkman from his body and tossing it in the counter behind him to finally silence the music and give you his full attention.

“Holy shit, what-”

You find the rasp of his voice delicious. Your head tips just slightly to one side as you finally allow yourself to take him in. He's beautiful, this scrumptious smelling stranger. You find yourself wanting to sink your teeth into the curve of his shoulder to hear the cry that would rip from his throat in response, want to feel his blood — warm and heavy and thick on your tongue.

“Are you okay? Fucking- Fuck, of course you're not okay,” He stammers in a panic, struggling with the effort of keeping his gaze from trailing over your exposed body. His hands twitch like he wants to reach out for you but is unsure how you might react to his touch — the thought forces the corner of your lip to tick up in a nearly imperceptible hint of a grin as he continues, “Shit, who- Who hurt you?” His eyes go soft, big and brown, wide and worried for your well-being, “Can you tell me what happened t'you, honey? C’you tell me who did this?”

The term of endearment that slips into his words has your stomach fluttering despite the bone-deep ache of hunger eating away at you. You give a small, wordless shake of your head, lips parting to take in another breath. As the air rushes in through your mouth, you find that you can taste him on your tongue, and the sweetness makes saliva pool behind your teeth to the point that you're forced to swallow it down.

“No? You don't know or.. Or you don't remember?” He questions carefully, his gaze trailing over a streak of blood at your hairline, “Did you hit your head?”

Another breath in through your mouth has your eyes fluttering, your exhale a trembling sounding thing as it pushes back out of your chest.

He seems to take your tremor as a sign of trauma-induced fear rather than what it truly is, and he stumbles a small step back, his attention moving to the basket of unfolded laundry sitting atop the washing machine at the other side of the room.

“Shit, lemme, uh, I'll just grab you a shirt or something and we can call-”

He's taking another step away as he speaks and- No, you think. That won't do.

Steve's rambling cuts off when he's shoved bodily into the wall. The clock hanging a few feet away rattles and his back aches with the impact of his spine against the drywall. He huffs out a sharp breath of surprise from your startling display of strength. You've got one hand against the steadily cooling dampness of his sweat-soaked chest, your other locked around both of his wrists, holding them securely against the seam of his own thighs.

“I, uh-” Steve stammers before swallowing with an audible gulp. He struggles against your grip and is stunned to find that he can't break free, his muscles straining with the effort despite the fact that your hands aren't large enough to even encircle entire circumference of his wrists.

You're leaning in then, your nose pushing into the curve of his throat to take in another deep breath. He can feel it when your mouth drops open as you pull in his scent, feels the way your parted lips drag against his sweaty skin. He fights back a shiver at the sensation, fights to remain still when you press yourself against him, blood from your chest soaking into his shirt, his trapped hands coming into contact with the warmth of the blood-soaked smattering of hair at the apex of your thighs.

“What, uh.. What's happening right now?” Steve questions, his voice pitched high with confusion and anxiety.

“I'm hungry,” Your voice comes finally, the sound of it wrecked and beautiful as it meets Steve's ears. Your teeth scrape the vein pulsing violently beneath his skin of his throat as your burrow deeper into him, your tongue coming out for just a quick taste of the salt and fear on his skin. “I'm so hungry.” You murmur against him, words muffled.

“Okay,” Steve squeaks, pulling against your grip on his wrists again but freezing when the meat of his palm brushes the bloody patch of hair over your mound. His knees feel weak, his fingers are trembling, breaths coming quick and sharp. He's never feared for his life quite so strongly while simultaneously feeling so aroused. It's all very confusing. “Okay, yeah. I, uh- I can- I can make some breakfast if- Ho-Shit. I.. If you're hungry-”

A low growl rumbles up your throat the mention of your hunger and you savor once again in the thought of how sweet his blood will taste on your tongue. He's very handsome — he seems sweet, kind. You don't want to kill him, but then again..

Your head swims dizzily.

“What's your name?” You ask in a low whisper that pushes your warm breath out against his skin and has his cock twitching traitorously in his pants.

“Steve-” He says in rush, “My name's Steve! And I- I can help you! Me and my friends have seen some crazy shit, I- I swear we can-”

You're taking in one last breath with your mouth against that pulsing vein where his scent is the strongest, pulling it in slow and deep and relishing in the way that the burn makes your throat ache, makes your stomach twist. But then you're leaning back to get a good look at his face. His pointed nose brushes the tip of your own as he tells you his name, his pleas thereafter falling breathlessly against your own lips in such close proximity.

“Are you scared, Steve?” You interrupt his rambling to ask sweetly, the hand on his shoulder coming up until you can swipe a bead of sweat away from his temple with the pad of your thumb. Your touch leaves a streak of red shining starkly against his tanned skin.

The boy, Steve, nods slowly.

“I know,” You whisper, your eyes studying the way the golden sunlight catches the hues of brown swirling in his irises, “Do you know how I know that, Steve?”

“Uh..” He swallows audibly again, fidgeting on his feet as much as he can in his current position between you and the wall behind him, “'s'it because.. 'Cause my hands are shaking?”

You move your head slowly side-to-side and the movement has your noses brushing again. Steve watches as the empty darkness in your eyes wavers with something that looks almost like it might be excitement.

“I can smell it,” You murmur, your mouth so, so close to his, “I can taste it on my tongue.”

“That's pretty cool,” Steve manages, “That, like, a superpower of yours? I, uh, I bet that comes in handy-”

“I don't know what's happening,” You interrupt his silly ramblings to admit quietly, your gaze holding his as you struggle to swallow down the instinct to sink your teeth into the muscled flesh where his shoulder meets his neck, “This feeling.. This hunger. Want your blood on my tongue. I.. I want to kill you, Steve.” You finish in a whisper, pupils blown wide.

“I- Please don't. Don't kill me.” He begs, feeling truly pathetic as he does so but also feeling far too frightened not to at least try.

The pretty swirls of brown and gold in his eyes shine with fear, and the sight has something sour twisting in your chest beneath your ribs. It has your grip on his wrists tightening for a second before you're releasing them entirely. A deep exhale pushes all of the air from your lungs and you hold it as long as you can, eyes pinching shut as you try to rein in the primal urge to maim, kill, and feed.

The absence of his wrists in your grip has the tremble in your own hands starting up again as they travel up the length of his torso, blood smearing against the beauty marks on his cheeks when you take his warm face in your hands.

“I don't want to want to kill you.” You tell him in a weak rasp.

Steve lets out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, hesitating for only a moment before he's wrapping his larger hands around the backs of your own.

“Okay.. Okay, that's good,” He nods wildly in relief, though his heart continues to beat irregularly with unsettled nerves, “That's a good start, huh? Let's run with it-”

His cheeks and his palms are so warm in comparison to your own skin. You push your dirty fingers against his cheeks until they almost squish under the pressure, his lips forced to purse cutely while you relish in the heat that seeps into your hands.

“I'm not used to it,” You tell him quietly, “The way it.. It hurts. It burns.”

When Steve hooks his thumbs beneath your palms to ease your hands away from his face, he's surprised to find that you don't put up a fight, merely allowing him to lower your arms to your sides and hold them there.

“Are you.. So you're.. a newly turned vampire or something?” He questions slowly.

A quick snort of laughter escapes you in your surprise and the sound combined with the sight of your lips tugging up at the corners into an amused smile has Steve smiling as well, albeit in confusion.

“What?” You're giggling around the word and Steve thinks that his heart might skip a beat at the sound. What was wrong with him?

“..What?” Steve repeats.

“I'm not.. I'm not a vampire.” You laugh softly again.

“You're not?” He questions slowly, brows drawing together when you shake your head at him, “Then.. What are you?”

The question stumps you. The ache in your temples makes itself known again when you push against that impenetrable wall of emptiness in your mind in search of something.

Steve watches your brows furrow in concentration, watches the way your nose scrunches up cutely. You're beautiful and terrifying and his heart has felt on the verge of possibly beating out of his chest since the first second that he laid eyes on you — ethereal and stunning like some sort of nightmare swathed daydream.

All at once, he remembers your current state of undress, the soft squish of your breasts against his chest over the blood and sweat-soaked fabric of his shirt is suddenly impossible to ignore. He feels a rush of heat flush the skin under his collar all the way up to his ears and- Dear God, he needs to get a hold of himself.

“I don't..” A disgruntled sigh blows past your lips, unaware of Steve's mental unraveling, “I don't know. I can't remember.. anything.”

Steve only nods, shouldering past you slowly and moving toward the aged refrigerator on the other side of the room to peer inside.

“So you don't know for sure that you're not a vampire,” Steve teeters his head side to side as he takes in the stark emptiness within the fridge, his neglect to do any form of grocery shopping in the last week suddenly feeling like a grave error, “There's gotta be a few other possibilities, for sure, but uh-” He swings the refrigerator door closed with a sigh, “My friend Dustin will probably know more. The kid's, like, super smart. It's borderline annoying. Just- Why don't you get rinsed off or whatever and I'll give him a call for reinforcements.”

You frown as you peer down at yourself as if only just now remembering the state of yourself, one arm comes up to cover your breasts while the other does its best to hide what's between your legs. A trickle of nerves creeps up your spine that had been nonexistent before, the initial fog that accompanied your hunger and that first whiff of Steve's scent having overpowered everything else.

You had almost grown accustomed to the wetness of the blood beneath your arms, but now it irked you, uncomfortable with the fact that you still couldn't recall where it had come from, whose blood it was. The wondering has you feeling a bit nauseous suddenly.

“Rinse off,” You repeat slowly, avoiding locking eyes with the pretty brown gazing at your from across the room, “Yes. I should rinse.. this.”

He leads you to the bathroom with a wide palm warm against your spine that has your stomach flipping with entirely too eager butterflies.

It felt a bit dangerous, how much you crave to please this beautiful man already, how much you wish to bury yourself inside of his skin and never, ever leave.

Hair and skin scrubbed clean, donning borrowed socks, a pair of cotton gym shorts that were achingly similar to the tiny pair Steve had been wearing earlier that morning, and a soft crewneck with sleeves that hung past your fingertips, you eventually wandered into the open space between the entryway and living room.

Steve's head snaps up at the soft shuffle of your socked feet against the floorboards that signals your arrival. In your absence he's changed his own clothes, a clean tshirt and light wash denim replacing his sweaty and now blood-stained clothes from before. The puffy sweatband that had held his hair back had been removed as well, his mousy-brown hair hanging a bit limply as it dried around his face.

He makes his way toward you in a rush, stopping just a few inches short of actually making physical contact. His eyes rake over your body shamelessly now that you're no longer indecently exposed, memorizing the lines of your face and the softness of your damp hair and the smooth plushness of your bare thighs beneath his shorts.

“How're you.. You feeling okay?” Steve asks cautiously after an embarrassingly long moment of ogling. He prays that you haven't noticed his wandering gaze while your own has been preoccupied with taking in the furniture, the framed photographs, and the mess of magazines and comic books strewn throughout the living room.

Your eyes find his as you push a wet lock of hair behind your ear, closing your eyes in concentration as you take in your first breath since entering the room, letting the oxygen flood in through your mouth and focussing on the ache that his scent prompts in the base of your throat. It hurts, it does, but it's not nearly as overwhelming as it had felt upon that first whiff of it in the woods, nor is it as painful as when you'd breathed it straight from his skin in the kitchen.

“It's.. Bearable,” You promise slowly, “For now.”

“Good, good. That's good.” Steve lets a relived grin wash over his face.

“Your friend.. Daniel? When is-”

“Dustin,” Steve corrects immediately, “His name's Dustin.”

“Right.. Dustin,” You acknowledge, shaky fingers toying idly with the hem of your borrowed shorts, “When should we expect-”

It seems that your question is destined to remain unfinished, as the rumbling of a battered car engine grows louder in its approach, the rattling accompanied by the heavy thump of music blasting through a stereo. The familiar sounds have Steve letting loose a groan in discontent as he moves to pull open the front door, and as you peer around his shoulder, you spot a rusted van pulling into the driveway. The brakes creak, the deafening music cutting off as the doors on either side fly open and two young men tumble from the vehicle.

“Dusty buns, grab the goods from the back, would you?” The driver orders the boy currently climbing out of the passenger side of the van.

“What?” The boy scoffs in disbelief, adjusting the cap that squishes the tight ringlets of curls around his face and neck, “Gross. Why do I have to carry it?”

“Why do you have to carry it? Hm.. Why do you have to carry it..? Uh, let’s see..” The driver's face scrunches up in thought, a wild mane of dark curls and waves hanging past his shoulders as he leans his weight against the frame of the door, allowing it to remain open as he drapes an elbow over the metal. He drums his fingers against his lips in a slow rhythm as he pretends to ponder the question, dark nail polish harsh against his pale skin, “Because you woke me up at seven in the morning on my day off to run a weird errand for Harrington.. Because I snuck in to the butcher to get it.. And, ah shit.. What was the last reason..? Oh! Because I said so.” He finishes loudly, finally moving to slam the car door shut.

The next few seconds pass in a bit of a blur — everything happens so quickly. Steve watches the door collide with the longer-haired boy's face with a painful sounding thud. The resulting blood that begins to pour from his nose comes all too quickly, and Steve only processes what's happened enough to offer a wince in sympathy. It takes longer than it should for him to realize that he should perhaps be concerned about you.

With a slight delay, Steve turns to face you with wide eyes and finds your pretty lips are parted in desperation, an unfocused glassy look in your eyes as your own gaze flickers between Steve and the scene in the driveway behind him.

“Eddie, shit. You okay?” The boy at the other side of the vehicle is saying as Steve begins to usher you back into the house with his hands at your biceps, “Wha- Steve where the hell're you going!”

The boy's call remains unanswered as Steve instead leads you backwards down the hallway and into a room past the kitchen.

“Steve.” You whisper hoarsely, throat burning so severely it feels like it's been set aflame.

“I know, honey. Shit. I know, I know.”

The front door slams shut in the distance, disgruntled murmuring voices edging into the house and making Steve curse under his breath. He brings a wide palm up to cover the expanse of your mouth and nose, his other hand still dragging soft along your upper arm.

“Not a vampire, huh?” Steve jokes weakly, “Y'sure about that?”

Your brows pinch as you narrow your eyes at him and frown beneath his hand.

“Steve, c'mon man where do you keep the tissues!” A voice calls in annoyance.

“Hold the fuck on, Henderson!” Steve yells back over his shoulder, before refocussing on you, “You're okay, it's gonna be okay. Just stay here and I'll get them to leave and it'll all be fine. Deep breaths- No, shit, fuck, no deep breaths. Forget I said that. Just..”

You make a small sound against his palm and he gives you a weak, apologetic wince of a smile.

“Don't kill my friends, alright? Please. Just stay here, okay? I'll be back.”

He's gone in a flash, battered wooden door latching shut behind him and leaving you holding your breath to keep the foggy haze of your hunger at bay. Your stomach twists sharply as the voices on the other side of the door pick up and you reach up to cover your mouth and nose with your own smaller hands as you fight the urge to breathe in the sweet coppery scent of fresh blood that you know must be wafting through the house already.

You manage to resist for perhaps twenty-five agonizing seconds before your shaking hands slacken a bit over your face and a deep breath fills your lungs. The potency of the blood in your chest wracks your body, a hazy darkness creeping into the edges of your vision as your hand blindly reaches for the doorknob. You move down the hallway unthinkingly and friendly, bickering conversation comes to an abrupt stop as three sets of eyes focus on you.

The lingering glances to your borrowed clothes are anything but subtle. One of the boys, Eddie, raises his eyebrows in approval even as he keeps a hand cupped over his nose in a weak attempt to staunch the flow of blood. The other boy, shorter and softer at the edges, gapes incredulously as he drops a thick tupperware bowl onto the coffee table, his narrowed gaze drifting to where Steve was looking at you in wide-eyed panic.

“You have a girl over?” The shortest of the boys asks in disbelief, “Are you shitting me? Dude, come on. You're not seriously trying to rush us out after making a delivery like this, no questions asked, so you can get laid for what evidently wouldn't even be the first time-”

Steve ignores him as you move toward Eddie with single-minded determination and that worryingly glassy look in your eyes. Steve's hand just misses your shoulder as you pass, catching only air while your own hand grasps Eddie's wrist to ogle at the blood staining his palm.

“Honey, honey, maybe-”

“Aw, you jealous Stevie boy?” Eddie laughs, his voice congested around the blood clogging up his nasal passages, “That's cute. Maybe if you're real nice, I'll punch you before me and Dustin leave and then you two crazy kids can play doctor- oof-”

The teasing cuts off when you give him an unnaturally strong shove toward the couch. Eddie flails a bit as he falls onto the lumpy cushions, and you're perching yourself atop of him in the blink of an eye, your thighs pinning his arms against his own lap beneath you. He stares a up at you in stunned confusion, the black of your pupils blown wide and a sort of terrifying beauty in your features that seems to render him paralyzed both mentally and physically for a moment.

Your mind swims with how nice the blood smells from this close, how warm it feels in the air against your skin, prickling and sparking along your spine and prompting goosebumps of elation to creep up the back of your neck.

“Harrington,” Eddie acknowledges with a hint of amusement as his regains a bit of composure, he nods his head vaguely to the person who has sequestered his lap and trapped his hands in the process, “Is, uh.. This your girl?”

Steve ignores him in favor of placing a slow, gentle hand on your shoulder from behind. He watches you run your thumb over the small scrape across Eddie's chin, watches your eyes flutter closed as you lean closer and swipe a finger through the fresh blood that's dripping from his nose down to his upper lip.

“Hey, honey..” Steve begins cautiously, swallowing past a nervous lump in his throat when you shake off his hand on your shoulder and bring your bloodstained fingers up toward your mouth, “Remember what we talked about.. Maybe we should-”

“Oh, she's fuckin' weird, man,” Eddie is chuckling in confusion all the while, though his smile never fades, “I think I like her-”

Dustin watches on in disgust as you slip those bloody fingers past your own lips and suck, and suddenly everyone's eyes are on you, awaiting your reaction with varying emotions — confusion, disgust, horror.

Your brows furrow as you take in the taste of it, the immediate warmth and sweetness on your tongue is quickly overpowered by something sour, a sharp tang that makes you gag. You push Eddie back against the couch as you scramble from his lap, tripping in your haste and falling into Steve's waiting arms.

“Dude,” Eddie is saying, “She's actually a freak, and I mean that in the best way-”

“What the hell?” Dustin cries as he swallows down a gag of his own.

The sour stench of Eddie's blood lingers at the back of your throat and you retch again, gazing up at Steve with an expression he's yet to see on your face. Your eyes are wide and pleading, lips parted as you try to breathe in his scent to counteract the blood coating the back of your tongue.

Steve rubs at your upper arms in a soothing motion, relieved that for whatever reason, you didn't kill his friend.

“Steve,” You whisper hoarsely, “He tastes terrible.”

You sound horrified by the fact and Steve tuts softly, though the quiet noise is drowned out by Eddie's scoff of disbelief.

“Oh, well excuse me.” The sarcasm that drips from his voice doesn't go unnoticed as he tugs at the collar of his shirt to wipe the rest of the blood from under his nose.

“Steve.” You plead again as you tug on his shirtsleeve, you're not sure what you want him to do about the horrible taste in your mouth, but you find that you're willing to beg if he can make it go away.

“What the hell is going on? Steve?” Dustin demands sharply, “Are you planning on explaining any time soon?”

Eddie raises two fingers in the air, dark nail polish contrasting against his pale skin, “I'd like to know that too.”

Steve's eyes meet yours for a brief moment before you're tucking back into his neck and he's heaving a sigh.

“Right.. So, uh-”

Steve explains the events of your morning together and his theories, urging you to speak up every now and then to give your own take on things. Eddie and Dustin's arguments grow increasingly eager throughout the whole thing as they debate whether you might be a vampire or a demon, whether you hailed from the underworld and were cast out or simply had memory loss, what foods you might be able to sustain yourself on that wouldn't involve human flesh-

Some of their ponderings eventually fill your head with brief flashes, memories dragged to the surface that you attempt to explain despite what little you know. You tell them about the hazy recollections of a boy stripping you down until you were bare before him, how he'd ignored your slurred pleas for him to stop. The fuzzy image of him standing above you. His demands for the devil to bestow upon him each of his painfully shallow desires; popularity, sex, money. He'd demanded those things in exchange for the life of a virgin, your life, and you'd been given no opportunity to dispel his assumptions before he'd plunged the knife into your stomach, your ribs, your chest.

Perhaps you died, perhaps your didn't, but you remember the earth-shattering roar that had filled the forest just before a power unlike anything you'd ever felt began to thrum in your veins. You fondly recall the euphoria of that cruel, selfish boy's flesh beneath your teeth and the warmth of his blood trickling down your throat.

Rage burns in Steve's chest as you recount what you can remember of what happened to you. His hands ball into fists, knuckles aching with the fury he feels at the thought of you naked and vulnerable and begging for your life.

At some point in the chaos, around the time that the ache in your head begins to pulse, Steve ushers everyone into the kitchen and the unsuspecting tupperware that the two boys had delivered is pried open.

You stare down at the dark liquid inside with a slight crinkle in your nose, leaning a bit closer to try to get a read on the dull scent coming from the cold contents.

“Sweetheart you tackled me onto the sofa to get some of my blood only to announce that it tasted like shit ten seconds later,” Eddie chuckles with incredulity at your skepticism, “Now you got a whole bowl of blood in front of you and.. What? Nothing..?”

Your gaze goes to Steve rather than the boy who had spoken to you, your own eyes meeting golden brown. His warm palm rests over your hand where it's splayed on the countertop in front of the plastic bowl, his fingers giving a reassuring squeeze to pair with the quick upward tick at the corners of his lips.

“It just.. It doesn't really smell like much of anything,” You offer up hesitantly with a shake of your head, “No. No, it- That's not true. I mean, it smells like blood, it just.. The nuances aren't there?”

“What sort of nuances?” Dustin urges curiously, Eddie nodding wildly as they both eagerly await your elaboration.

“I-I don't..” You're drawn to Steve once again, like a magnet is pulling you in and guiding your gaze toward him at every turn.

“Take a second to think about it,” Steve urges softly.

You do with your brows drawn together and your head tipping to the side as you try to piece together the words to explain, “Well, Eddie's blood, for instance- It.. It smelled.. Warm. I could feel it on my tongue before I even tasted it. Just smelling it gave me.. chills — the good kind. Like, shiver down your spine-”

“Orgasmic,” Eddie pipes in with an amused little grin that prickles at Steve's nerves, “I believe the word you're looking for to describe how I smell is ‘orgasmic’, if those shivers I sent down your spine are to be taken into accou- Ow!”

Steve reaches over to smack Eddie into silence, the blow delivered to the other boy's shoulder with a bit more strength behind it than perhaps he intended.

“Stop talkin' shit,” Steve reprimands before grumbling under his breath, “Not givin' her fuckin' orgasms, fuckin' asshole.”

“How about both of you idiots fucking focus,” Dustin scolds in annoyance. His eyes roll hard beneath the shadow of the brim of his cap and then he's focussing back on you, “So Eddie's blood smelled good but tasted bad. This smells bad so.. maybe that means it'll taste good!”

“It didn't taste bad initially,” You shrug, still eyeing the undisclosed animal blood warily, “It was more the aftertaste.. It was, I don't know, sour or, like-”

“The pothead tasted bad, imagine that..” Steve mutters to himself.

“Holy shit. Steve you might actually be right about something!” Dustin exclaims with a wide grin.

“I might?” Steve repeats in confusion, eyebrows pinching together before he shakes himself off with a crooked grin that doesn't come off nearly as nonchalant as he is aiming for, “I mean, yeah, sure, totally. But, uh, what exactly am I right about?”

“Weed!” Dustin says like it should be obvious, turning toward the longer haired boy, “Eddie, when was the last time you smoked?”

Eddie looks between the three of you with wide eyes shining with innocence, “I, uh… Before bed. So, I guess, like, three-ish?”

“So.. The aftertaste was.. marijuana?” Steve says in slow disbelief.

“Smoking a bowl before bed seriously saved my life?” Eddie whispers suddenly.

“How does this information help.. This,” You poke at the plastic container with your index finger, the dark liquid sloshing slowly with movement, “Whatever this is- Taste better? It smells like a cup of water filled with pennies.”

“We could warm it up.” Dustin shrugs.

The four of you exchange shrugs of indifference as if to say, ‘why not?’ and then Steve has the contents of the container in a pot on the stove. He stirs it slowly as it warms and you hover at his back, chin hooked over his shoulder as the smell coming off of the dark liquid slowly grows more and more appealing.

Your fingers dig a little harshly into the softness at his hips when the burn in your throat grows too painful and he acknowledges your warning with a soft bump of his temple against your own as he flicks off the burner. A small bit of space is driven between you but Steve is turning and pushing a warm mug into your hands before you can make more than a small noise of protest.

The ceramic is warm against your palms, the heat coming off of the animal blood meeting your face when you bring the lip of the mug up to your mouth. You take a cautious sip, wary beneath the heavy weight of the gazes focussed so intently on your reaction.

Your eyes slip shut unconsciously, a low moan sounding in your throat at that first taste. The warmth of the blood dances along your tastebuds pleasantly, sweet and thick and delicious as it soothes the ache in your throat nearly instantly. Your gut twists in euphoric delight as you tip the mug further, swallowing down it's contents in desperate gulps.

Steve takes the mug from your hands and refills it without prompt once you reach the bottom, placing it back in your hands gently. His eyes follow your movements, watching intently as you hurriedly bring the cup back to your lips, sipping the dark liquid a bit slower, savoring it this time around.

“How is it?” Steve asks gently.

“She's drinking the stuff like her life depends on it, Steve, what the hell d’you think?” Dustin scoffs.

“Vampire girl likes cow's blood,” Eddie pumps one fist in the air in triumph, draping an arm heavily over Dustin's shoulders and ruffling the hat atop the boys head of curls, “I think we did good, Henderson.”

Steve ignores his friends in favor of placing a large hand against the steadily warming skin of your cheek, “Honey?” He urges.

“‘S good,” You promise with red-stained lips, shuffling forward into Steve's chest and nuzzling your head beneath his jaw for a moment to take in his already familiar scent. It's still mildly uncomfortable, the way it fights to itch at your throat despite the way the blood has soothed the burn, but there's also something comforting about his scent as it settles in your chest now.

Conversation picks up again between the two boys behind you. Steve's arm curls tight around your back, his weight resting against the countertop as he allows you to lean into his chest. Your body grows warmer with each sip of blood that passes your lips, a slow-growing, white flame building in your gut as the hunger ebbs and the soothing scent of Steve fills your lungs.

When you finish off your second helping, you set the mug down with a quiet clink, your eyes drawn to where Steve had set the pot of warmed blood aside on the counter. Steve's thick fingers are drumming idly against the surface, and the sight has you feeling a little overwhelmed. The hunger swirling in your gut now is vastly different from what had been fueling your actions earlier, a desperate tug of arousal making your stomach flip.

Dustin and Eddie no longer exist in your mind. You're far too busy grabbing a hold of Steve's hand, your smaller fist wrapping around his own and manipulating his movements until you can dip his index and ring fingers into the pot that's been slowly cooling against the countertop. Thick drops of deep crimson drip down the side of his wrist as it re-emerges. A zig-zagging line curves around the small bump of bone connecting to his forearm and your eyes can focus on nothing else. The world around you fades nothing more than a dull echo as you automatically crowd closer to Steve to collect the dripping blood with your lips and tongue.

All three boys watch the turn of events with bated breath. When your eyes flick up to meet Steve's again, a distant fog seems to have glazed over your eyes again.

“Gross..” Dustin assesses quietly.

“Hot.” Eddie disagrees immediately and vehemently.

Steve doesn't manage more than a weak croak at the back of his throat while he watches the your tongue poke out in an attempt to clean some of the dark liquid from your own lips.

“Steve.” You say softly, parted lips glistening and red.

“Yeah?” He asks in a high rasp.

You mean to respond, you do, but you're distracted by another drop of blood falling down the side of his hand and your words never come, silenced by the way you dart forward to capture it before it can reach his wrist.

“What, uh. What'd'you need, honey?” He asks as steadily as he can. His cock is already beginning to press against the zip on the inside of his jeans and he desperately wills himself to calm down.

“Need you.” You murmur with your lips against the blood-soaked tips of his fingers. You guide his hand until you can take the digits into your mouth.

Steve nearly chokes as his fingers are engulfed in the heat of your mouth, a choked sound crackling up his throat when the soft pad of your tongue flicks against them as you suck them clean. 

“Leave.” Steve commands his friends without ever looking away from your mouth.

“Dude, are you serious?” Dustin exclaims, smacking Eddie's shoulder in disbelief, “He can't be serious!”

Your tongue pushes between his fingers, the warmth of the muscle nearly causing Steve's knees to buckle. His own tongue feels suddenly dry as it lays heavy in his mouth, his cock achingly thick and hard in his pants already.

“You boys should leave,” You say softly, tongue poking out to lick away the blood at the edges of your lips while your fingers remain wrapped tight around Steve's wrist, “Unless, of course, you'd like to watch?” You tease with a frightening grin.

Eddie meets your gaze with a wide-eyed look, “Well, sweetheart, as a matter of fact-”

“Nope, we're leaving!” Dustin interrupts, already dragging Eddie from the kitchen by the collar of his shirt, “Steve, be smart, alright? Don't make me regret this. Please don't die-”

Eddie shouts something vulgar that you don't quite catch over his shoulder just as the front door slams shut. The resulting silence is thick with sexual tension, Steve's pretty, doe-eyed gaze glued to where your lips are still pressed softly against the pads of his fingers.

When you collide it's in a frantic rush, wandering hands slipping beneath clothes and backsides slamming against walls. Distracted steps lead the both of you down the hallway, Steve's shirt discarded carelessly along the way the moment that the opportunity to do so is presented to you.

Your fingertips scrape through the soft brown curls littering his chest while Steve's mouth finds your jaw and neck, a tiny trail of damp kisses left in his wake. A light suck at your pulse point has a moan slipping past your lips, your feet tripping over the tops of his own as you corral him back into the bedroom where he'd hidden you away earlier.

The backs of Steve's knees meet the mattress and it only takes a weak shove from your unnaturally strong hands to have him toppling back onto the bed. Breath wooshes from his lungs and he watches intently while you crawl on top of him, your hands tracing the lines of his chest in a slow, deliberate touch before finding the sharp line of his jaw.

When Steve's gaze finally meets the intensity of your own he finds your pupils blown unnaturally wide, the color of your irises nothing but a thin sliver at the very edges of a sea of endless black.

His tongue meets the roof of his mouth as he makes to say something, anything, but the words are lost when your lips smash into his with an impatient tinge of hunger. A surprised moan gets caught in his throat for a moment before your hand falls to the bulging zip in his jeans, delicate fingers palming at his cock. He does moan then, embarrassingly loud and needy, though the sound is swallowed up by your own mouth as you use his parted lips as an opportunity lick inside of his mouth.

Your tongue is warm and wet — still dripping with the thick, coppery tang of blood mixed with something sickly sweet that he thinks might just be the intoxicating taste of your own spit.

It should be disgusting. The taste of the blood on your tongue should have his stomach twisting and his gag reflex triggering, but it does neither of those things. There's no real way to be sure whether it's some sort of otherworldly allure that you're emitting, or if he's simply so attracted to you that it's turned him into a fucking freak, but his cock is growing painfully hard beneath his jeans faster than it ever has in his goddamn life and the taste as your tongue strokes his own only seems to speed things along further.

Steve has one hand braced behind him to keep his chest pressed solidly against yours as you writhe and roll your hips down against the back of the hand you have teasing at the front of his jeans. The noises you're letting out have him a little dizzy, his blood rushing south in response to each pretty sound that you let fall into his pliant mouth.

Your hands scramble to undo the button and work tight denim down Steve's thighs, but you're eventually forced to extricate yourself from his lap to fully remove them, a tangled heap of denim and the cotton of his boxer briefs thrown to the other side of the room in another brief display of your slightly unnatural strength.

“Fuck.” Steve breathes when instead of climbing back into his lap after hastily removing your own clothes, you crawl toward him and settle between his knees. You blink up at him with dark eyes, crimson now smeared messily over your perfect lips, and Steve's cock all but jumps when his muscles tighten at the sight.

“I'm gonna suck your cock-” You tell him as the backs of your fingers just graze the length of his aching erection. Your gaze is locked on the thickness of him, hungrily eyeing the pulsing vein on the underside, the weeping slit where a string of precome is already shining over the head from just the light brush of your hand and the look in your eyes. “Because I need to taste you. But then I'm going to need you to fuck me.”

Your eyes finally flick up to meet his, and Steve is nodding wildly, “Yes, yeah! Okay, that's.. That sounds g-holyfuckingshit!” He groans through a gasp.

You don't savor in a tentative lick, don't even suck lightly at the tip like he's had girls do in the past to ease into it. You wrap your lips around his cock and immediately move to swallow down several inches of him, your throat tightening around the sensitive head as you gag yourself on his thick length.

You can smell the arousal seeping from each and every pore on his body, growing stronger and more intoxicating with every bob of your head and flick of your tongue. You hadn't thought it was possible, but it's a thousand times more delicious than his fear had been. It burns along your senses and prickles down the length of your spine until your head is a strange mix of hyper-focussed yet fuzzy at the edges.

Steve has to fight to keep his eyes from pinching shut in pleasure, to keep his head from falling back to bring his gaze to the ceiling. Missing even a single second of the sight of your lips wrapped around his cock feels like a crime of biblical proportions, so instead he brings shaking hands to your hollowed cheeks, collecting your hair until he can fist it in one hand. He whines pitifully at the unobstructed view of the drool and blood that your efforts have pooling at the base of his cock.

“Oh, holy shit,” Steve groans, his thumb stroking lightly over the edges of your lips as you pull off.

The second your mouth is occupied with only sucking at the tip, his thumb is pushing through the mess of blood and spit to hook past your lips alongside his cock. You don't stop working your mouth at the intrusion, rather, you expand your efforts to include the finger now rubbing at the inside of your cheek. Your tongue slides over the tip of his thumb before swirling around his leaking head, your jaw open as wide as it can go while you suck at every part of him that's stretching your mouth.

“Ah, fuck, you gotta-” Steve is whining, and he'd be embarrassed about it if he had the brain capacity to do anything aside from trying desperately not to come. His balls are drawn so tight, his cock is throbbing in the heat of your mouth with the need for release, "Honey, honey, I need you to stop or I'm gonna come in that pretty mouth and that-" He heaves a great sigh of pained relief when you pull off with a wet pop, "That would be a fucking travesty, because I really really wanna be inside you.”

You're wiping your mouth and chin off on the back of your hand, the lust-hazy weight of his gaze sparking a glimmer in your own.

“What are you waiting for then?” A smile pulls at the corners of your mouth even as your teeth dig sharply into your lower lip.

You're dragged up onto his lap in a rush, flipped onto your back until he's hovering over your naked body, his warm hands smoothing over every bit of your skin that he can. His eyes are clouded with arousal as wide palms trace the curve of your waist, the softness of your belly, the plush of your breasts.

Your legs part on instinct and his eyes drop at the movement, lips parting with his slack jaw as the wet seam of your cunt is exposed to him.

“Oh, fuck, honey,” Steve manages in a breathless murmur, “Jesus, look at you. Oh, holy shit, you're so wet.”

Thick fingers come within an inch of dragging through your folds before you're snatching his wrist with a firm grip and tugging him forward. He lands atop of you with a huff, one arm forced to brace behind your head and the other falling to rest on the side of your waist. You're settling him with a scathing look and he chokes on a shaky breath that fans out over your face.

His cock is hot and heavy against your lower belly, thick and long and curving up toward your navel. It still shines lightly with spit and blood and precome and your mouth nearly waters at the sight, your cunt clenching around nothing at just the thought of finally getting it inside of you.

“What?” He asks in confusion, “Was just gonna get you ready with my fingers. Should do that first, right? We don't want you hurting-”

“Now,” You demand, voice coming out leagues weaker and more desperate than intended, “I want you now. Need you. Now.”

“Fuck, I- Shit, okay, okay.” Steve gives in with wide eyes.

When he reaches down to line himself up with your sopping entrance, his hand is shaking so hard that he has half a mind to be embarrassed. But then his gaze flicks up to meet your own just as he begins to push his hips forward, and the flutter of your lashes in response to the stretch of his cock makes it a little hard for him to focus on anything other than how he might be able to make your eyes roll back again, or what euphoric expressions he's yet to see take over your beautiful face.

Once he's fully sheathed, he draws back and drives back in sharply, watching in awe as your jaw falls slack and you cry out.

“Just like that,” You gasp in approval, spine arching as you try to better the angle his hard thrusts to hit at just the right spot, “Shit, yes. Steve, fuck!”

The room is filled with the slick sounds of his cock as it works in and out of your cunt, the dull slap of his hips and hairy thighs meeting the insides of you own, the protesting creak of his bed frame as its joints struggle beneath all of the movement. Steve's breathing picks up just a little more with each thrust, a gasp turned groan working its way up his throat when you tangle a hand in the hairs that curl at the nape of his neck to drag him down for a kiss that's more tongue and teeth than anything else.

The barely there remnants of blood in your mouth meets Steve's tastebuds once again when he freely licks inside to capture the soft sounds falling from your lips and his cock twitches within your walls, brain spinning with just how perfect you feel and taste and sound.

“Fuck,” He pants into your waiting mouth, “You feel so fucking good, honey. S-Squeezing me so tight. Feels so fuckin' good, better'n anything I've ever felt.”

Each word of praise is dripping with his arousal when it meets the inside of your mouth, thick and delicious and a sort of cloying sweetness that reminds you of honey as it coats the back of your throat like a salve. The sounds falling from his mouth in combination with the sharp tang of his arousal that clings to the air with every breath you take — it has your head spinning. The low rasp of his moans sparks pleasure along your spine while the wet drag of his cock ignites the white-burning flame in the pit of your gut.

Despite his hooded eyelids, you can see how his own pupils have blown wide, those pretty pools of swirling brown overtaken with a darkness that leaves them looking so similar to your own.

“You're perfect,” Steve groans against your tongue, “So, so pretty right now, baby. Look so goddamn pretty taking my cock.”

His voice is ragged, desperate as his arms slip beneath your spine to press as close as he can. You're craving his touch just as much though, and it has you rolling your hips desperately to meet his. Your lips come together again in a frenzied collision, heightened arousal only causing that simmering need that pushes you cling to one another to boil over. Chest to chest, tongue on tongue, skin on skin.

The coarse hairs on his chest catch against your peaked nipples with every sharp jerk of his hips, his belly dragging against your own as your eyes roll back on a particularly well-angled thrust.

“Oh, fuck,” You moan against his lips, fingers carding through the unreasonably soft strands of his hair.

Every inch where you're connected feels alight with flames. It feels as if nothing exists beyond this. Your mind is nothing more than a steady repetition of Steve, Steve, Steve — and you don't think that it's merely the sex. You think this might simply be the way that things will be from now on. Just you and Steve. His touch and taste and his fucking smell create a truly intoxicating combination, you want him like this always. Cheeks and neck pink and flushed with blood, glistening with sweat, panting and grunting and whining in response to your body.

Your orgasm is so, so close. You're already bearing down on him, muscles taught and brain a little fuzzy. The fingers in his hair tighten, the nails of your free hand scraping down his spine and leaving behind a trail of red streaks along the freckled expanse of his back. The sting drags another guttural moan from Steve's lips and your cunt flutters around him when your belly flips in response.

“God, honey,” Steve whispers in nearly a plea, hips jerking as he tries to keep a good rhythm going for you, “You close? ‘Cause I don’t know how much longer I can- Fuck.”

His scent at this very moment is unlike anything you've ever experienced. It's heady and a little overwhelming, but so fucking delicious — if you could, you'd bottle it up just so that you could get a quick whiff of it whenever you wanted. The syrupy sweet arousal in the air only continues to thicken, filling up the air with each shaky thrust of his hips.

“God. Fill me up, Steve. Please?” You murmur with a groan as he punches deep into that spot that has your toes curling, your cunt sending a rush of slick arousal down the length of his cock and balls. “Want you to come, sweet boy. Need it. ‘n I need you to give it to me.”

“Fucking, s-shit-” Steve moans in response, hips stuttering and warmth filling you from the inside out as his cock jerks and he loses control, “Gonna.. Fucking..” A beautifully wrecked sounding moan interrupts him, “Gonna f-fuck my come so, so deep, honey.”

His slurred words have you keening, the thatch of pubic hair at the base of his cock rubbing in a rough drag against the swollen bud of your clit when his thrusts melt into nothing more than deep grinds of his cock against your fluttering walls. The tight coil in your gut twists and stretches and then snaps suddenly, the tight vice that accompanies your own orgasm milking him for every drop he has to give.

He collapses against you once you've both drawn out your climaxes for as long as you possibly can, his temple pressed to your cheek. Your combined labored breathing fills the silence.

The warmth of Steve's sweaty skin is heaven, his weight pressing you into the mattress feeling so comforting and right that it leaves you feeling a little overwhelmed. His scent settles into something a little less obtrusive as he comes down, something that rushes into your lungs and curls sweetly in your chest.

Your hand cards soft through the damp locks of his hair, your lips finding his dewy skin to press a soft kiss to that space on his temple where you can feel his pulse throbbing softly with each beat of his heart. When Steve presses a gentle kiss to the edge of your jaw in response to your own, you can't help the swarm of butterflies that erupt in your stomach.

This sweet, handsome, recklessly kind young man that you're lucky enough to have in your arms.. You reckon that you might have to stick close to him — you think, perhaps a bit foolishly and entirely too hopefully, that you'd quite like to keep him.

[astrum99]

Surprisingly, human beings are the only creatures that looked into themselves. Movement of a blade sharpened to max, lightning fast, no hesitation. Peeling back skin and draining sinus. Bodies (alive, young), huddled around bodies (dead, damaged), to examine and poke and tear and say “I see, that one is the Inferior Vena Cava”. These abominable actions saves lives. Curiosity and morbidity guided a way of survival, of rescue. Later, the same sentiments, mixed with desperation, guided a way to destruction.

Bearing the remnants of humans, their organs pulsating in its body. A machine. A child of man.

Angels, on the other hand, are made perfect. Healthy body, strong will, and filled with holy light right off the bat. Vicious in battles. No need for learning, little need for healing. The smoothness and perfection of their skin akin to marble and sea glass. All creations pale in their presence. Nothing beats perfection. Certainly not creatures of cold unfeeling metal. Lightless, soulless, running on a fixed program of 0’s and 1’s set by the expired words of self-destroying, world-destroying, rotten images of God. Heretic. Even in their perishment, they set to ruin. Systems that they themselves can no longer escape from. Samsara of endless pain and death.

It is a wonder then, that when the machine finally tear through Gabriel’s helm, he become faintly aware of the things hidden deep inside. The ugly, raw things inside. The things he must have known but were never brave enough to face: the same pulsing gore that pushes through the gaps of his skin is the same as the one in the mankind’s bodies; the wires that prods through the throbbing organs is the same as that runs through the chassis of the machine. His body echos the lesser beings. For a second, he could not distinguish himself from man nor machine. How ridiculous, he thought, it thought. To be of this state. To see his/its image in his/its body. To have his/its strings/wires cut so late. The taste of spectacular freedom at the last millisecond of his/its life.

As the last drop of holy light seeps through his helm to stain the machine’s optics, he recognizes himself as heaven’s machine, and the machine as mankind’s angel. And now they are the same.

---

Insp is this post by @sinew-lattice!

thank u for infesting me w brain worms i enjoyed hosting the wiggly thing very much (also pls let me know if u don't like ppl writing/tagging i can always take stuff down:] )

[murfeelee]

IWTV INSP - MerMay Pt20: The Pearls

There was a small chest on the table.... “Lestat, what’s this?” Louis asked as he stared at a mess of shimmering pearls and crystal within.... It was jewellery, but longer, long strands of small beautiful pearls and little pieces of crystal that looked designed to drape across a torso.... “It is customary for a siren to gift their intended an engagement gift,” Lestat said, “I had this made for you....” Tears pricked at the corners of Louis’s eyes. Lestat had been getting this made for Louis, so sure of him? Of them?..... “Would you wear it for me?” Lestat asked. Louis nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Lestat carefully draped it over his torso.... It was perfect. Louis turned around, letting Lestat see him, and Lestat looked like he had been struck by lightning. “Beautiful, my prince,” Lestat said softly. Lestat cupped his face, reverently, staring into Louis’s eyes. “So beautiful,” Lestat whispered. “Louis, will you marry me?” Lestat asked, smiling up at him.... “Yes,” Louis said, his heart seizing in his chest. “Then run,” Lestat said, a wicked light in his eye. So Louis ran.

-- Excerpt from Part of Your World and The Wedding Hunt, by @weather-mood

A [FREE SPACE] entry for @vamptember's MerMay VC event!

MY THOUGHTS & CC CREDITS

MY THOUGHTS

I love fics with Mating Runs, especially when the characters aren't human. It just seems more animalistic and closer to nature that way.

I have zero stamina when running; I'd be out of breath after only a few paces and get caught immediately. A Mating Power Walk though? I'd be single forever. XD

CC CREDITS

- Pearls pattern & ACC in beta gamma by me

- Lou's shorts at the Store

[erisicy]

Phantom Blood Musical: Dio Becomes a Vampire Rough Translation

[Police Officer]

Inspector! There's trouble!

[Insp. Archer]

What happened?

[Police Officer]

The corpse—!

Dio's corpse is gone!

[Insp. Archer]

What?!

[Speedwagon]

Hey, cop! Get away from the window!

[All]

Inspector!!!

[Speedwagon]

Just what is this guy—?! He's come back to life!

[Police Officer]

But we shot him so many times—!

[Police Officer]

Be careful! He must have some sort of weapon!

[Dio]

Wryyy…

[Jonathan]

Dio!

Stop right there!

[Speedwagon]

Shoot him!

I'll help you—hurry!

[Dio]

Wryyy…

[Speedwagon]

I don't understand!

I have no idea what's going on!

[Police Officer]

Damn it all!

[Dio]

JoJo!

Can you hear my voice?!

[Police Officer]

A-After him!

[Dio]

Wryyy!

[Jonathan]

You—

[Dio]

JoJo~

I've… obtained such magnificent powers~

From the Stone Mask—

—Using your father's blood!

[Jonathan]

Dio—!

[Speedwagon]

The monster has created more monsters!

Run away, Mr. Joestar!

They're just going to get you! There's nothing we can do about that monster!

[Jonathan]

The brain!

[Speedwagon]

Huh—?

[Jonathan]

The mask must have brought out the hidden potential in his brain

In that case—

I need to destroy his head completely!

[Speedwagon]

Get off me! Stop it! (?)

[Jonathan]

Speedwagon!

Stronger...

Stronger...

I need stronger will!

[Dio & (Speedwagon)]

JoJo! (Watch out!)

Weakling! Weakling!

[Speedwagon]

Mr. Joestar!

[Dio]

A little longer… a little longer~

I want to enjoy this wonderful power more~

I don't know how far I can take it yet~!

JoJo~

You should stop this pointless struggle~!

Didn't I tell you?

The more plans you make, the more the limits of being human catch up to you~!

Don't hide behind the shadow of the curtain, come on out~

You two shall also—

—Become my life's sustenance!

[Jonathan]

Dio!

We're not stopping you with a plan!

It's with courage!

This fire won't be enough to defeat him

Speedwagon, get away from the mansion

[Speedwagon]

Huh?!

Mr. Joestar!

Don't run upstairs!

[chaotic-rxses-zee-01]

Growing up with the wolves - Stray Kids Werewolf!AU 🐺

Note; this it NOT an Omegaverse AU, I dont write anything s3xual related to Kpop so if you want those go to another blog. Thanks! Now enjoy this new AU I’ll start posting!!

Warning : mentions of blood, hunting, guts of animals, and fighting (this warning will be at the beginning of each chapter as-well!)

{ BANG CHAN }

Oldest in the pack, maybe a little overprotective of the younger ones (Maknae line + Reader), hunts for most of the pack (Changbin hunts more though, and reader goes with him.)

WOLF FORM : a black wolf with light red eyes, a scar above his left shoulder from a fight with a bear (also travels to his human form)

Human Age : 26

Werewolf age : 19

{ FELIX }

The shyest out of them, kind, sweet, and hates the sight of blood. Is smaller than most of his siblings, being the sickest one in their litter of five (Reader, Han, Seungmin, Himself and Jeongin.) He loves walking in the forest and has a big fear of humans, especially when the doctors come to visit.

WOLF FORM : White wolf with bright blue eyes, still very small unlike Bangchan, who’s wolf form is the size of a Dire Wolf (insp: Game of Thrones haha)

Human age: 22

Wolf age: 11

{ HYUNJIN }

The kindest wolf the reader will every meet. He’s the gentlest when they play-fight which means no scratches to explain to Bangchan. But he can be SUPER annoying! He keeps his claws longer and sharper than most wolves do, so hunting without his teeth can be easily done. He sometimes scratches himself though. When the doctors from the City visit them, Bangchan has to hold him down so he can stay still for vaccinations.

WOLF FORM : A dusty brown wolf with white patches along his hind legs and front paws. His fur coat gets really long during the winter so the kids tease him, calling him “Lions Mane Hwang Hyunjin.” (He hates that nickname.)

Human age : 23-24??

Human age : 17

{ MINHO }

He’s like that annoying sibling that you love but also kinda hate. He loves Reader but they sometimes get on his nerves a bit. Pulling his tail, biting him, stealing his piece of the kill after hunting, and the list goes on. But Minho would still do anything for that kid.

WOLF FORM : A grey wolf, downward facing ears that have a hint of white in them. His tongue is always sticking out even when he isn’t panting or out of breath. Very playful, and loves to gently bite (he calls them “Love bites.”)

Werewolf age : 25

Human age : 18

{ CHANGBIN }

Yes, he’s very strong but does that mean he’s scary? Absolutely not, this wolf is so soft hearted, kill a fly and he’d mourn it. Even with having his childhood nickname be “Soft Coat Wolf Seo Changbin”, he still isn’t afraid to get his claws stained with blood. Hyunjin once asked him what his favorite sent is and he simply said “The fear of my prey right before the kill. The smell of organs seeping from a gash is exhilarating.” He has a very pessimistic way of viewing the human world and never goes with them to the doctor.

WOLF FORM : His wolf form can also get confused with a Lynx, but he is in-fact a wolf. I promise. His wolf is huge, but not as big as Bangchan’s though.

Human age : Prefers not to say

Werewolf Age : 18

{ HAN }

The funniest wolf Reader has EVER met. When they’re sad, they go to Han to cheer themselves up. It’s just routine at this point. He loves fruit more than meat and does his own hunting in the forest for his favorites like apples and peaches. But he does have to suffice with a hog or a rabbit every once in a blue moon. He always sleeps in his wolf form with his tail above his eyes, and loves to make dirt piles with the dust that collects in his corner of the den. His nickname is “Fearful Fire Wolf Han Jisung” Because of his fear of fire when he was small.

WOLF FORM : A dark grey wolf with two black fur patches on his eyes. A small tail that has small black spots amongst the grey.

Human Age : Unknown (??)

Werewolf Age : 17

{ SEUNGMIN }

The quietest wolf Reader has ever met (out of their family of course.) He likes to sit in the corner with a blanket at either sleep it read, he doesn’t really like confrontation or play fighting. He never hunts and us usually the last to get part of the kill. He usually goes with Han to get fruit but he really isn’t that picky on what he eats. He has a stuffed rabbit names Fluff that is beat up and tattered but he still sleeps with it. His nickname is “Soft Hearted Kim Seungmin.”

Werewolf Age : 13

Human Age : Doesn’t even know it himself

{ JEONGIN }

The youngest wolf out of nine. He was born without claws even though he loves to hunt with Changbin (he hates the amount of blood he leaves though.) He mainly uses his teeth to hunt. He is also shy but loves to talk to humans whenever they want den tours.

Werewolf Age : 10

Hunan Age : 16

Chapter 1 will be out on Saturday 🐺🖤

[emmacreatures]

STARED AT.

Omg its been a minute but hello! Starting off with some updated Ka'am x Quaritch and lyle and the recoms! Sorry for my dissapearance, I've been busy with work, finally got a hang of it and will be continuing to be busy, but!!! finally got some time to write. thanks to the fantastic Niku, they found this perfect soundtrack where they described this.. Almost horror like look that Ka'am would give and it made me see this like scene which I had to write down! I actually have the continue part of this in the making, but it isnt done yet. Apologies if i'm rather rusty too and make some mistakes aaa, hope you guys enjoy nonetheless

This was the song that Niku shared which gave us both incredible insp: https://youtu.be/p1-DbSpdZ3M (especially from 1.10 and up. the drums and just hejdbd)

As ka'am and his own clan were driven more far away from the omatikayan.. Ter'ran at times did pretend he was still part of them, so he could listen around, to tell Ka'am what was happening in the clan and any kind of information. Ka'am had grown older.. Darker, but incredibly trained that quite a few had noticed, and therefore joined him along the way. Feeling like his ways would be some that could be more impactful than a whole life back at the normal clan. Ter'ran was one of the first to join, and while he may be a close friend, he had to behave good enough not to be seen through by ka'am. He didnt know how the man had evolved his own instincts and tricks.. But man, even at times he was terrified on how well Ka'am could read people. Just by a sigh or change in stance. The clan especially joined him when they dared to look at him. His eyes had darkened, which was.. a so called fact to no longer be loyal to eywa. The eyes are a door to the soul, and usually when eyes were darkened it showed they get their energy somewhere else, other than the great mother, and make their own path in life. Some expected it to be a myth, but as the clan from Ka'am noticed his growth, they too wanted to follow that path. Ter'ran had gently made his way over to the omatikayan, seeing that, while Neytiri and Ka'am couldnt get along too well, she still hoped he'd come back. Ka'am was strict on rules. He knew what was mandatory. but despite she knew that he and jake couldnt get along, she at times still yearned for her brother to come back, yet not having a clue where he was.. or what he had become overtime. Being a true shadow in the dark. Ter'ran himself was surprised, but more importantly, he heard the humans were expanding their area again, called bridgehead.. And fast, making most of the clan at the omatikaya rather distance themself. Having heard all this information, he knew it was time to head back. The group and himself had found a place nearby the old shack to form their own home. They knew no one was allowed, as it was a perfect place for rebels to form a place they'd call their safe ground.

Ter'ran got back in one piece, also having seen bits of bridgehead before heading to Ka'am.. Who sat in a chair, being silent, smoking some sort of special mix they made themselves that was rather powerful stuff. Breathing it out as he stretched his neck, he heard someone come closer, giving a hand signal to make them step inside.. "I've returned.. And I have news" Ter'ran said, still not knowing how to call Ka'am. Does he say olo'eyktan, master.. Despite he was loyal, he knew he had to be careful with his approach. Ka'am without a doubt would correct him no matter their friendship that always had been there. ""did they care" Ka'am only said, breathing out once before putting the mix to the side.. Letting it go out of his noseholes. "Your family.. Or well sister, they still search for you it seems.. they still wish you'd be around. They have no clue you're here" Ter'ran said as he didnt look at Ka'am, knowing well it was the best way to respect. "They could've.. If they respected me. Anything else" Ka'am said as he turned to Ter'ran as he sat with his back to him. Slowly having stood up to sit down in his direction. "thats indeed not all.. there are new.. aliens.. on ground. They have weapons. Have human clothing. They seem trained well" Ter'ran said as he had heard and saw them.. Making Ka'am stand up as his ears twitched. A silence hit, before he'd make Ter'ran look at him. Even ter'ran at times got a chill down his spine thanks to ka'am. "call everyone together. we'll go hunting sooner" He said, his voice low and threatening, for Ter'ran nodded quickly before almost running out of the place they were at, making a specific noise like a bird or animal to call everyone together..

Meanwhile, over at the recoms~

Quaritch, Lyle, mansk, the whole group, had been dropped off by admiral orders to test if their hypothesis was right on being unnoticable with the recom bodies.. And low and behold, it was. As they scavenged the area, not knowing some had noticed them, they went on, being cautious of everything that passed them.. "Follow me" Quaritch said with his hands as the crew walked behind him, in the deep jungle of pandora. Lyle was close behind on him. "Stop.." Quaritch then said outloud, sensing something was watching them. "What is it colonel.." Lyle said with a frown, as every recom started to look around them.. "Lyle, with me. All else, stay here" Quaritch gestured with his hands, making them nod as they stood watch, while Lyle with his sniper silently followed Quaritch who seemed very weary of his surroundings. "Colonel? Status, what are you seeing" "Thats the thing Lyle.. I feel like something is watching us, but where." He said dominantly, looking around as it had become dark already.. Their skin shining while it definitely was more difficult to watch through pandora.

'go there, I'll go here' Quaritch gestured again with his hands, seeing Lyle took a comfortable spot to rest his sniper, whereas Quaritch held his weapon while moving, trying to pay the best of attention to whatever could be around.. Ka'am and his clan saw all of them in perfect sight. Ka'am told half of the group to focus on the ones that were told to stay at a specific spot.. For Ter'ran and him divided to watch the other two that seemed to be the most leading types.. Ka'am, with his dark paint on his body and around his face, was almost completely invisible, especially in the dark and due his abilities.. But as he noticed the man with his gun in his hand, sense he was watched, he took that as a challenge for the first time in a while.. considering he usually stayed away from everyone, like a deadly shadow. Ka'am raised his head as he watched him without moving himself anymore.. only his tail was the thing that gave any sign of being alive. Quaritch narrowed his eyes as he could sense it more.. Looking into any direction.. Until he eventually got a chill down his spine, noticing two yellow eyes looking directly at him. Never in his life had he met anything like this. Not moving an inch the second the contact was made, he felt his own heartbeat raise for some seconds.. he met eyes that almost felt like the devil. a part of hell might would describe. He couldnt even express or explain what he felt, but he could sense this was a dangerous approach.. Even though the man had 50 years of experience in a younger body. The entire energy made him nope out.. Yet intrigue to the max. The eyes he saw didnt even twitch.. It was a glance so sharp it would cut wounds. Quaritch was not the type of man to be impressed nor scared easily at all, but this was so out of the ordinairy to experience.. He knew, from his gut he had to be careful, or it would all be over soon. It would be the first time Quaritch was this careful.. Possibly making others suddenly doubt his approach.

Lyle noticed the man look at something in the shadows, deep jungle of pandora.. Eventually noticing what seemed like a shape.. Pointing at it. Quaritch knew he was looking at a killer. Never in his life had he ever experienced something like this. Considering pandora was a new world, and seeing it through new eyes, he questioned himself, yet as well could tell from his senses that he was right of what he was thinking. "Colonel" Lyle called, for the sudden words he never expected, were heard. "step back." Quaritch said, as Lyle didnt realize.. The way he pointed at ka'am, made 5 other members point at Lyle.. Making them stuck in a life and death situation. "step back? I have him right under my view" "I said step back." Quaritch said almost angry, slowly stepping backwards himself as the eyecontact he had was still ongoing. He felt the eyes stare at him.. Sensing the greatest danger he might've ever felt..

Ka'am from afar could sense the man saw what he was capable off.. and for the first time, got respected in a way he didnt expect from a man like their kind. He could tell he was feared in a twisted, almost admirable way, but quaritch had his own view on things.. letting Ka'am do a thing for the first time, to make an exception out of him.. out of killing him in sight like he would've, along with the ones he was with. He heard the sudden english to make them step back, seeing it as a sense of respect, as he could tell, the man telling them to do so, wasnt the usual type to behave on such terms. And by that.. Ka'am made a specific hand movement to make everyone stand still, and not make a killing.

"What was that all about, are you nuts. There are clearly people out there trying to KILL us" Lyle said for Quaritch tightened his neck. "do not talk to me like that Wainfleet" he said as he walked away, having broken the eye contact that seemed to have dissapeared into the shadows. "we would not have won." Quaritch said as he walked to the recoms, making Lyle stop him. "WHAT?! we were with 7".

"And if you paid well attention, they had surrounded us, 5 of which were aimed at you because you pointed at him. Be thankful their leader didnt point at us yet" he said dangerous, threatening to lyle. "excuse me?-" "You heard me. he was looking right at me." Quaritch said as Lyle rolled his eyes "Yeah I saw THAT. Thats why I had him in my sight-" "Shut up for a second. He looked at me, Like a prey, full in their element. If we would've attacked we all would've been dead by now" Quaritch said, being so sure of his words that he himself couldnt even explain. But his gut said so. As the silence was around, and rain started to fall, keeping a glare on lyle who seemed.. surprised. "since when does a group.. or one individual stop us.. or you" he said daring, noticing Quaritch being displeased with Lyle's approach. "not once have i been wrong have i. The only reason we're alive, is because we didnt do anything. He spared us" "And why would he.. Huh? They're blue monkeys, did you forget we dispice their species Colonel?." lyle said blatantly for Quaritch glared at him again, meaner this time. "he was or is, the exact example on why we humans didnt survive here on this world. remember the horrendous danger on this planet. Think again wainfleet. Your cockyness almost got us killed if it wasnt for me." Quaritch warned lyle to slow down his argument, making the cocky man still continue. "well the so called danger only seemed to look at you" he said for Quaritch was done. "Feeling confident are we? We may now be like our enemies, but that doesnt mean we're up on their systems yet. They're ahead of us." he said as all the other recoms were silent, listening. For Lyle folded his ears. "this is his territory lyle.. he knows every inch around this area unlike us. We'd be dead if we'd ignore his warning". "Warning, who spoke of a warning. He just looked at you".

"you want to get us all killed, be my guest" Quaritch said as he pushed the man to the side, planning to leave this area for now as most others did follow.. But Lyle wasnt done fucking around just yet.. "Screw this. I dont have time for being careful." Lyle glared as he looked back at the jungle, coming up with a bad excuse so that he could go in there on his own.. totally asking for trouble.

Meanwhile, Ter'ran had approached Ka'am, who was silent, having watched them all. "What the hell was that about.. We could've easily gotten rid of them." Ter'ran asked as he swallowed to receive a rather unfortunate glare from Ka'am. "Do not make me be unkind to you Ter'ran, you know better" Ka'am said as he suddenly heard some twigs break.. Breathing out to sense one had returned on his own.. But it wasnt the man he met eyes with.. "Seriously. since when is quaritch such a pussy by being looked at by those blue monkeys, I'll show them." Lyle said as he held his sniper up.. Looking around as he felt like he was the smartest man around. Ka'am could sense the man's disrespect, getting angry.. "he has no respect. Get him." Ka'am said low, for the whole clan started to point at the man.. As he himself dissapeared back to his own area.. The clan started to get lyle.. who really thought he was the toughest around. "Fucking get some colonel.. I can easily survive out here just you wait." Lyle said before he was surrounded by at least 5 navi.. But one of them got him with their own made tranquilizer.. Getting him knocked out after a few minutes "Fucking bitches- Y'all are damn sore losers." He said while trying to fight which he actually managed just fine, until the chemicals started to hit.. Getting him to their hidden area.. Tight up.. And stuck.

TO BE CONTINUED👁👄👁

[silkjade]

I'm glad you liked the brainrot. I honestly was not sure when I was typing it, if the direction made sense, but the more I typed, the more down the rabbit hole I fell. I wish I had this sort of focus when I have to do other stuff. It's a shame that writing a full fledged series is something that's always eluded me. I can do scenes-ish, but anything longer has always stymied me. I know you've talked about the mermaid lore in Teyvat and stuff like that in that ask and you mermaid reader! X Alhaitham fic, but I'm also curious if there's stuff about mermaids in Teyvat that you haven't touched on yet, but would like to. I'm not well versed in mermaid lore and have pretty much been using your ideas as a baseline. Stuff like, how have the mermaids been keeping themselves secret for so long? Or like, what happens to someone enraptured by their song (apart from the fact that they die)? You've sorta touched on mermaids being creatures who haven't been seen in years, so besides killing people who see them, can they end up giving people amnesia or something too? Or like, what is the extent that a mermaid's song can force a human to do something? Since it seems like some humans can sorta figure out when things aren't right and can snap out of it. Etc.

I'm just really curious since I'm playing around in your mermaid AU, and don't know the specifics. Lol

ahh this took a while to get back to, since I had to think about some stuff loool tbh my insp for the mermaid au came from all over the place, like i've just taken different ideas I like from different forms of media i.e. mythologies, folklore, the orig. hca fairytale, etc ! (also I hope you don't feel like you have to stay within the boundaries of my au, and that you're free to make up whatever you want LOL)

so I'm just basing on the most common/popular mythologies but mermaids lure you in with their song, and it's not that you just drop dead, or fall in the water, but it's about the temptation. Tempted by such lovely voices and faces that you'd sail into rocks, or fall in the water where you get dragged down, etc. So technically if one has enough willpower, they could resist and I imagine if you're already aware of mermaids and the dangers they impose, then one would be more likely to resist as well. I DID actually play with the idea of like "forcing humans to do smthg" kind of like charmspeak in the percy jackson universe if you're familiar? But idk i'm not sure yet lol And then I actually just hc them to generally stay deep underwater and don't really venture up to the surface much. If they do, it's generally not close to shore, so it'd be way further out at sea. They'd be just sort of legends as well I guess, where they probably existed a long time ago, but no one is really sure now, but there's still little folktales or whatever people tell

[infintasmal]

Kochō Shinobu / Demon verse

A verse in which Shinobu becomes a demon rather than a slayer.

History. WIP Shinobu has posed a unique threat to the demon's cause. While she's unable to decapitate a demon, she has developed a way to kill them regardless of her physical strength. The poisons she has created and the research she has done had given her a unique insight into the few weaknesses all demons possess. And if she were to streamline these toxins, there's a chance of more slayers being created without needing to be able to decapitate a demon. But this threat could potentially become a boon to the demon's cause. If she were to become a demon, perhaps she would able to find a way around their weakness, both to wisteria and to the sun itself.

And so she was turned. And while all memories of her human life, and thus the breadth of her research have been lost, she's able to recover her medical knowledge with time.

Current. Shinobu, now reborn as Maika is a moth demon. She occupies a small building deep in the forest that she had taken over. She spends much of her time studying and conducting research on humans and demons alike. All of her equipment was stolen from the human scientists she has killed. The building itself was once dedicated to farming silkworms. The area surrounding the farm is now overgrown with poisonous vegetation and flowers that only bloom at night. Among the flora lives a myriad of demonically enhanced insects. At first glance, it's a beautiful scene. However there's a sinister aura and none who enter return alive.

Name. The name given to the newly reborn demon is Maika ( katakana - マイカ. kanji - 舞翔 meaning 'to dance' & 'to fly' ) Insp from her breathing style 'dance of the [insect]' )

Appearance. Maika's appearance is based on a japanese silk moth. Her skin is pale with a gradient coloring extending down her extremities to a deep violet coloring on her hands and feet. Her feet are taloned and she's able to easily perch on branches. Her fingernails come to sharp points. Her hair maintains it's black to purple gradient coloring however it's much fuller and a bit longer. Her eyes are bright violet with no visible pupils and a black sclera. Her teeth have enlarged, fanged canines. She has a pair of fluffy antenna on her upper brow. Around her collar is a fluffy tuft (similar to previous reference) On her face, she has a pair of moth wings framing the outer edges (ref one, ref two). She also has a pair of wings on her back, shaped like the silk moth. These wings have a black base with violet and lavender accenting. Along the wings are bold eyespots, while in rest these eyespots appear as they would on a normal moth, however she is able to 'open' them, revealing actual eyes matching her own. With these eye spots, she is able to maintain a wider range of vision, the various eyes are also able to see in other light spectrums. She normal folds her wings down against her back, draped like a cape, when not in use. The wings on her face can sometimes indicate her mood, perking up when she's interested or drooping when she's upset. Her height and general physique remain unchanged with an emphasis on lower body strength.

Abilities. Maika has the standard repertoire of enhanced senses and physical prowess. Her skill emphasis is in her speed and agility. Whether she is flying or running, she's incredibly fast and fluid in her movements. The patterning on her wings can cause a dazed, hypnotic effect on anyone watching in the same respect that a moth uses it's patterning to help evade predators. Her movements and fighting style resembles her breathing style.

Blood Demon Art: Poison Physiology

Maika's body natural excretes a variety of toxins depending on her intention. She is able to pool her venom into her nails and teeth as well as drain it through her palms for external use. The effect of the venom ranges from paralysis, pain infliction, and eventually death depending on the intended use. The venom types she can summon are based on a variety of both poisonous and venomous insects. Her blood contains a paralytic agent that causes intensifying numbness on contact with human skin.

She is equipped with a katana fashioned in the same stinger shape and uses it to stab her victims and inject the venom directly.

Another usage of her venom grants her control over insects. Dousing the insect in her blood causes them to mutate. Affected creatures become increasingly more aggressive and adapt a more carnivorous diet. They also enter a collective hivemind with Maika as their queen. She is able to receive information from her colony and uses them for surveillance. This ability only works on insects and she is unable to control arthropods such as spiders.

Alternatives.

Possible alternate verses in which she was turned at the time of her parents death or at the time of her sister's death.

[ghooostzone]

might be bc i have coe brain rn n utsugi was one of my insps for him but i'm like obsessed w sycamore rn. my toxic old man yaoi to contrast yet also mirror my healthy normal old man yaoi (alecwayne)

this was a joke post but i actually wanna explain it more now so ok

i say yaoi but orvalsy (i guess that's what i'll call it i'm not good at making ship names) isn't straightforwardly n explicitly romantic like alecwayne -- orval and sycamore never dated or confessed(?) or anything like that

Their relationship was still close n intense anyway so it's a "interpret whatever makes it more tragic" type of thing. That makes me sound like a showrunner n probably won't stop me from drawing them in certain ways lol.

A major part of Orval's plot in the main Sweven story is that he keeps drawing comparisons between his past partner to Wayne. This is the most obvious towards the end when Wayne starts losing a grip on controlling himself and Orval confronts him with hostility, but it shows up elsewhere too. Like in the way Wayne clings to Alec, his wide smile, the look in his eyes -- it all reminds Orval of Sycamore. Orval was so shaken over what happened to his partner that he's too on edge n assumptious.

I left what Sycamore was like when he was human vague in his bio but I'd say he was a bright n grounded person. He became a hunter to protect people. He was always protective of and focused on Orval even before it started to become strange. In his own writings, Sycamore posits that the emotions and desires upon death are amplified n warped when the deceased are unable to move on -- and he wonders if that happened to himself.

The major narrative differences between alecwayne and orvalsy at least right now is that 1. Orval actively wanted to ignore the fact that Sycamore was no longer human (Alec hides Wayne's vampirism for safety reasons but does not look away from it) and 2. Sycamore was so focused on doing what he saw as necessary for his studies and Orval's improvement/protection that he didn't hold himself back and even willingly attacked people (Wayne had the opposite problem where he bottled everything up, this stems from his distain for hurting people).

[doomsdaydicecascader]

🌻

the coldness that haunts game development, that emptiness that seems to absorb human energy without giving anything in return, shifts from the perpetual bane of computer games to their secret motor: no longer something to be pushed away through increasingly elaborate forms of player feedback it becomes the medium through which the imagination functions. the critique of such games as hamstrung by their own formal clumsiness into wasting their own potential - what beautiful paintings these could be if only they hadn’t been fed into a platform game - now becomes instead an analysis of the way that this very wasted potential, this absence of warmth and this leeching of aura, becomes a condition of the new ways in which they’re to be read. - content world, myfriendpokey

send me a 🌻 and ill post something from my insp folders

[badasshybridqueen]

Wanted Plots

plots definitely stolen from great fanfics/books that i would love plots based off !

#1 - Season 3 AU where before he goes off to reap Marcel’s justice, Klaus admits to feelings he hadn’t quite processed for Hayley. insp here

#2 - post-series au/or what if everyone came back to life as humans. insp here

#3 - the aftermath of giving Hope to Rebekah & the subsequent 3 months that follows the premier of season 2.[ The compound grows all the emptier in the weeks before the next full moon. The longer they’re away from Hope, the less Klaus and Hayley can stomach to see each other. The more Elijah pushes the two of them together, the more they pull apart, the more Hayley separates from the family. ] insp here

#4 - Hayley being the Mikaelson welcoming party to the other side. insp here

#5 - Jealousy in the most strange of places [ he blames Rebekah for pushing them together when Hope’s around. He blames Kol, for teasing them endlessly every time they’re anywhere near him. But mostly, he blames himself, for being unable to tame his anger. ] insp here

#6 - Gilmore Girls AU - Hayley is a single mom in New Orleans after the family has to separate going their separate ways [ either because of the Hollow or if it’s a human AU they can be sent to witness protection or something ] insp here

#7 - A hitman is hired to stalk and kill a woman without explanation. He embeds himself into her life waiting for the call knowing eventually it will come and his job will be done. But before the call can come the hitman winds up falling in love with her.

#8 - 17-year-old Hope travels back in time to Season 1 of The Originals in an attempt to change her fate and rewrite history. Determined not to lose either of her parents she surprises them and as she gets to know her parents she secretly works to change the future. [ loosely Based on the S5 plot of The Flash where Nora comes to the present to prevent her fathers death ]  

[ntls-24722]

I'm gonna be honest yall today I was Lacking in MM content 😭 there's my sona??? if you want to count that as a DJMM/MM? Which, I mean.

it is just djmm with gains and long lucious hair but. idk if that's enough to count them as their own djmm post??

Also, yeah, they have these invisible wings - he may be JACKED but he isn't flying with the sheer power of flapping his arms so hard he elevates, he does have actual phantom wings, though he's still swole from doing so. The other 2 arms aren't involved in the flying process though

There is also a former DJMM - a DJMM that with the power of divergent evolution and blue floral mugs, I no longer consider him a DJMM and he became a completely seperate character?

He was originally, specifically a version of a humanized Comet, his design being insp from this pic, which i think is very apparent, because he literally just got twists and gray hair ↓

And through much yearning, a weird transitional hippie stage, and disconnection from SOS, a Comet became Cameron, an old man who clipped into the backrooms and fell in love with it, and his universe has its own rules and background now?

Like for example, it doesn't follow traditional Backrooms rules as the backrooms (named "Miguel" by Cameron) doesn't have entities, as the plane of existence itself is the entity, there are specific points in places where you can clip into Miguel, and most interestingly, Miguel does not go on forever - whenever one clips into Miguel, there is a single level that one goes to, with a hidden exit, with the level changing each time someone clips through.

I made a new character for the universe named "Woolfe" who's kind of a tinfoil hat type who has gotten a very stark difference in his backrooms experience from Cameron. The levels one goes to are randomized, except for Cameron - since Cameron has come to know (and marry, via placing a ring on the floor and cheering) Miguel, Miguel has taken to placing Cameron in more whimsical and less unsettling places, though Cameron seems either unaware or oblivious to the ominousness whenever he does end up in a very Spooky place.

Woolfe is less oblivious to that, and his backrooms (he personally has named it "The Subterranean Maze Matrix") experience has been harrowing, partially because the SMM is not as fond of Woolfe as it is of Cameron and doesn't try communicating with nor feeding him, but also because Woolfe is also dense, and will take significantly longer to figure out where the exit is.

He met Cameron, and originally thought he was some insane old man in denial and rambling about some dead wife, but was immediately floored when he asked his "wife" for something for this starving guest to eat, and his wish was granted.

Since then, Woolfe has taken to studying Cameron and the Subterranean Maze Matrix, finding each encounter with him both fascinating and confusing him even further with his vague statements.

[tehuti88-art]

10/28/22: r/SketchDaily theme, "Inktober: Uh-Oh." Two (three) arts today.

Secondly: This week's character from my anthro WWII storyline is Inspector Louis Dobermann, without cap (top drawing) and with cap (bottom drawing). (The "Inspector" title is just honorary, BTW.) He's from old nobility and has some interesting secrets. There'll be more about him later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding his design, he's a fawn-&-tan doberman pinscher; I always imagined him black (he's a very old character dating back to my childhood), but changed this at the last minute. The hat...well, that's complicated.

TUMBLR EDIT: Oh boy. Oh wow. INSPECTOR DOBERMANN! I've finally gotten around to him. Oh CRAP this one is going to be long. I'm sorry. ;_;

I've gone over this before, I know I have, but I'm not sure where. Can't find it in this blog. I did create a thread on Twitter. Here's part of it.

1. DOBEY IS HERE.

I missed a meal for this. Weird rambly piecemeal thread incoming.

2. Okay, first, if you're completely new to my Twitter & you come across this and are like "WTF, dog in a hat," this is my character Inspector Louis Dobermann, & this folder on Toyhou.se might give a bit of context. Or maybe not. Dunno.

3. The very very long story short is when I was a kid (I'm in my 40s now), I came up w/ a really stupid story idea featuring anthropomorphic rats & dogs, set in WWII Germany. No, that's not symbolic of anything, they were just rats & dogs.

C'mon, I was like ten or something.

4. I never developed this story much, & moved on to my other storylines most of my life. I briefly resurrected this story, "The Trench Rats," around 2000 but lost interest again, until around Nov. 2021.

The story suddenly decided to come back to life on its own.

5. Scads of new characters, development of old characters, & most importantly, PLOT started spewing out of my unconscious. It's still ongoing, a year later. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS. This has NEVER happened to me, I was sure this story was dead! But here we are.

6. Insp. Louis Dobermann is one of the original characters from the very oldest, very stupidest version of the story. OMG it was so bad I won't get into it here lest I be offensive. I probably am anyway. Let me just clarify this story is NOT meant as a comedy...

7. ...though yeah, it started out pretty goofy. I was around ten!

The current version has funny moments but is more a character drama than anything. Just w/ dogs & rats instead of humans. And set in WWII.

Dobey here has always been a main character.

8. I went around 30 years, however, w/out really knowing him.

His earliest iteration was a bumbling Nazi character, bcuz when I was around ten, Nazis were bumbling characters. I didn't know all of the dark side of WWII until later.

Dobey got darker too as time went on.

9. In my teens the story went thru a melodramatic phase. Dobey was no longer bumbling, he was a terribly ominous, possibly murderous character whose exact motivations were unknown.

He also had a daughter, Adelina. His wife, Inga, was deceased.

10. Eventually I lost interest & Dobey's background & motivations remained unknown to me...until late last year when the story resurrected on its own. New characters introduced themselves, & old ones told me their stories. Including Dobey. After 30 years!

11. Took you freaking long enough, Dobey!

There's more, though this suffices to set up how Dobey got started, and how he evolved from a goofy schoolyard caricature, to a mysterious baddie, to what he's become today.

Dobey has since told me a LOT about himself (go figure such a closed-off guy would spill his guts to me), and his story is still developing. Here we go. o_o

I'd suspected for a long time that Dobermann was some sort of disgraced nobleman, likely a baron. Well, he's indeed a sort of baron, most likely a "Freiherr." Disgraced, not so much--just somewhat down on his luck. I knew he lived on a vast country estate, a huge mansion surrounded by sprawling fields and scattered woodland, similar houses at a distance here and there. When I got online and renewed my interest in the series, I began to dig. I learned a little about the old Prussian Junker (that's YOON-ker, not JUNK-er) families, and the general description fit, down to the big open areas of land I'd pictured. The Junkers apparently used to employ people to farm and tend their land, though Dobermann had no farms in my imagination. I guessed his family must have lost much of their land and employees (if you could call them that, apparently such people were close to being slaves) and now the estate is reduced to basically a skeleton crew, most of whom are home staff who care for the house itself. There are horses and stables. I've since imagined that the Dobermann estate might have just enough land and manpower left to maintain a handful of farm animals (a pig appears in a humorous function, always chasing Sgt. Gerhardt, so perhaps there are some swine, sheep, geese?), most likely cows, to supplement the family's existing wealth by selling some dairy goods in a limited fashion. It's wartime, food is needed. (Although I always forget to include rationing in my story.) So, while I can't picture the Dobermanns with large tracts of cropland, it's plausible to me that they sell limited amounts of dairy goods, maybe wool and eggs, small things like that.

Louis von Dobermann himself is born a bit before the turn of the century. He's the younger of two sons and lives on the estate with the rest of his family, mother and father and father's brother. They're the last of the von Dobermanns; although they still wield quite a bit of political influence, the glory days of the big Junker families are past, and noble titles mean little. Although they've since forfeited much of their land, the von Dobermanns are comfortable and well off. They don't NEED to try to make a living doing anything else. Louis is a rather austere, spartan sort, however, and just resting on his laurels doesn't sit well with him, so he enlists in the army. Poorer Junkers frequently did this, apparently, so even though he's not exactly poor, such a thing isn't entirely out of line for his class. As his luck would have it, Germany goes to war shortly after, and Louis heads off to the front, leaving his family behind. I don't know many details of his service though I know he does relatively well for himself, is a good fighter, excellent (though aloof) at following orders and then at giving them, courageous, selfless, though you could never call him sociable and friendly. He serves well with others but doesn't really GET ALONG with anyone. Whenever they visit towns and taverns and whatnot, he keeps to himself, doesn't carouse, doesn't get drunk, doesn't go off with the local whores. He comes across as uptight and snooty but this is written off as him just being a typical Prussian. He earns some honors, rises through the ranks (not sure how far he gets, probably lieutenant or captain), does well. It's obvious he'll likely never be a career soldier, but nobody can complain about him. Oh, right--he also insists on being called Herr Dobermann, not Herr von Dobermann; that "von" is just a little bit TOO Prussian even for him, so he eventually drops it from his name.

One day late in the war, while separated from his unit, he finds another soldier seriously wounded and unconscious, hauls him up onto his back, and manages to get him across no man's land into the safety of a trench just as a shell explodes nearby, injuring him as well. For a while they stay there, Dobermann shielding the unconscious soldier with his own body as debris continues falling into the trench. It takes him a bit to realize he can't hear anything--the shell blast deafened him. When the rest of his unit finds him, he yells that he can't hear a word they're saying. They take him and the other soldier to safety, and they end up in a sort of military hospital, in the same ward but at opposite sides of the room. Dobermann's commanding officer visits him after his own injuries are tended to (he hates the "loss of control" feeling the morphine gives him and resolves to get off it as soon as possible); but he notices that nobody comes to visit the other soldier. He learns that not only was the rest of his unit killed--he's the last one left--but he apparently has no family, either; a nurse confides that his records reveal he was a ward of the state. He's all alone.

A letter arrives for Dobermann. It's one of the senior staff from his estate, with devastating news: The Spanish flu is sweeping the country, and many members of his household have fallen ill; the von Dobermanns themselves were hit especially hard. Despite the best efforts of the city hospital, all of them--parents, uncle, brother--succumbed to the illness. Just like that, Dobermann is the last of his name. Now he's all alone, as well.

Dobermann cries to himself for likely one of the very few times in his life. Then dries his eyes and asks for a pen and paper. He writes a letter back to his staff to let them know he's alive and as soon as his injuries heal enough he'll return. He also contacts the people in charge of the family's finances, and makes a sizable donation to the hospital and to the city government to aid in the efforts to deal with the pandemic. He then returns to resting and occasionally glancing at the other soldier, who hasn't regained consciousness yet. Mulls over what it must feel like to have always been alone, now that he's in a similar position.

A young woman, tall and graceful and with long shining black hair and kind brown eyes, arrives at his bedside and smiles and talks to him for a moment. Dobermann just stares at her. When she pauses for a response, he says rather loudly, "I can't hear you. The blast hurt my ears." She looks nonplussed, gestures for him to wait a moment, leaves. Returns with pencil and paper, writes something, shows it to him. INGA, it says. "Louis," he replies, and the two of them slowly get to know each other a little through Inga's written notes and Dobermann's terse replies. Eventually he asks her why she's talking to him; she explains that she often visits soldiers in the hospitals to offer a little companionship and encouragement. Dobermann points out the soldier at the other side of the room and says, "You may want to visit him, then, whenever he wakes. He has no visitors. I've been told he has no one." Inga agrees to go talk with him when he regains consciousness.

The next day when she visits, she brings Dobermann a book: a manual on sign language. She signs her name, and teaches him how to sign his. Dobermann is exceptionally attentive and has an excellent memory, so even while he finds this rather silly, he humors her, and repeats several of the signs she makes. She leaves the book with him and he studies it on his own as he has nothing better to do.

Later that night, he wakes to find a few nurses hurrying past, and looks to see that they're rushing to the bedside of the soldier he rescued--he's awake now, and writhing around in his bed, apparently yelling in pain. They manage to restrain him so the doctor can administer morphine, after which he gradually slips off again. A nurse tells Dobermann that he'd abruptly come to, screaming at the pain in his hip and begging to know what had happened to his leg--he seemed convinced he'd lost it, and no amount of reassurance from the doctor could convince him he was expected to fully recover. Now that the drama is past, Dobermann drifts back to sleep himself.

Inga continues visiting, dividing her time between the various patients, though Dobermann receives most of her attention. While he rests she goes to visit the other soldier, a young lieutenant, who's now awake, though heavily drugged; he seems confused when she introduces herself, but introduces himself as well, as Gunter Hesse. He confirms he's had no visitors as his unit was killed and his parents died not long after he was born. He, too, asks what she wants talking to him; like Dobermann he finds it odd that somebody should just visit and chat. He doesn't mind though, and she promises to continue visiting him. Not long after, when she visits Dobermann, he repeats her when she speaks aloud, and says that although it's still muffled, his hearing is returning. They set aside the notes and signing and just talk.

As the days pass it becomes clear, though no one directly says anything, that Dobermann and Inga are developing feelings for each other. When Dobermann is allowed out of his bed to get exercise, he and Inga walk around the hospital, and one day share a brief private encounter. Soon after, Dobermann presents her with a simple gold band: His mother had made him take it with him when he headed off to war, so he'd have a part of home with him. Now, he wants Inga to have it. It's terribly short notice, but Inga accepts, and the two are wed by a chaplain. When Inga next visits Hesse, he notices the ring on her hand; she tells him the news. He blinks in surprise, then offers her a smile and says congratulations; when she admits it was rather abrupt and she's not sure what she was thinking, he replies, "Sometimes you just know." As they chat she pretends she didn't notice the very subtle shift in his eyes before he smiled: He never says anything, but she can tell Hesse has fallen in love with her, too.

Dobermann is finally set to be released, though Hesse's injury is bad enough that he needs to remain for a while longer. Inga writes down the address Dobermann says they'll be going to and gives it to Hesse (he mentions it's located out in the country), and makes him promise to write if and whenever he feels the need to. He does so, to humor her, and they bid each other farewell. Dobermann has a nice big car with driver waiting, and having packed up some of her belongings, she gets in and they head off. She falls asleep as the drive is very long; Dobermann wakes her when they draw near to his home. She's puzzled when they stop at a gate to show ID and a guard welcomes Herr Dobermann before letting the car through--then she gapes. They're headed up a long drive to a HUGE mansion, miles of fields all around. Her confusion grows when they enter the house and are greeted by a large help staff who eagerly exclaim and crowd around Dobermann; when he introduces Inga as his wife, they seem just as stunned as she is (she realizes he hadn't informed them he'd be returning with someone), but then welcome her just as happily. An older man insists on his attention and Dobermann excuses himself to take care of some important matters while a female member of the staff takes charge of Inga. Inga wonders aloud what's going on, expressing her confusion about the vast household and large staff; Dobermann hadn't told her he was rich. The maid commiserates that he hadn't told them he'd be bringing home a wife, either, but it's a good thing, as now maybe the family name won't die out with him. "Family name?" Inga echoes, wondering why it matters so much; "Why ja, Frau Dobermann, the von Dobermanns," the maid says. "Von Dobermann?--his name is von Dobermann?" Inga says, getting even more bewildered.

Maid: "Ja, Frau Dobermann, Freiherr Louis von Dobermann."

Inga: "Freiherr?? He...he's a baron?"

Maid: "Ja, Frau Dobermann, they're Junkers...he didn't tell you?"

No, Dobermann definitely didn't tell her. When he finishes up with estate business and the two get to talk again Inga asks him why. "Would your answer have been different?" he asks; she thinks briefly before saying, "Nein, I really don't believe it would've been, but what's the point?--wouldn't I have been more likely to say ja?" to which Dobermann replies, "That's the point." He promises to be upfront with her from now on, and explains the situation a bit better: He's the last von Dobermann left, and while he didn't explicitly marry her with the intention of simply carrying on the family name, obviously that's a bonus that the help staff have latched onto. He confides that it doesn't matter to him whether they have children or not, he married her because he wanted her. Whatever happens next, happens.

Word spreads that Dobermann is home at last and visitors start coming. He might be only a minor Freiherr, but the von Dobermanns are apparently well known both in the countryside among their fellow Junkers and in the city, and the family has a reputation for philanthropy. Well, no wonder they're well liked. As the youngest of the family, Dobermann himself had been relatively unknown and nobody was sure how he'd act as head of the household (a position that was supposed to go to his brother); his actions while he was in hospital showed the direction he was taking, and representatives of the hospital and the city arrive to offer profuse thanks for the donations he'd made. They want to confer honors upon him to recognize the good he did. Dobermann is extremely ill at ease with this attention--he's not used to being in the limelight, and prefers to just do his thing without public recognition--but the authorities insist, and he rather unwillingly agrees to attend a small public ceremony. Here, he's presented with the honorary title of "Inspector," given a watchman's cap, and symbolically named the Watchman of the City; in addition he's informed of plans for a memorial at a future time. He finds all of this utterly stupid and insufferable but tolerates it, because diplomacy. This of course results in yet more visitors to the estate, and Dobermann resentfully dresses up for the part each time, even wearing "that stupid f**king hat." Inga finds his irritation amusing but helps out by accompanying him, and it turns out everyone loves her even more than her husband. Unlike him, she's charming, polite, and knows how to handle attention, which he definitely doesn't mind, so at the numerous gatherings they have to give and attend, she does most of the talking and socializing, while he continues working behind the scenes. It's an unexpected but beneficial arrangement.

After some time settling into this strange new life, Inga belatedly remembers Lt. Hesse, and wonders how he's doing, since he's never written. She visits the military hospital, but is informed that Hesse was discharged some time previously; following the armistice, the German army was greatly reduced, and both Dobermann and Hesse lost their military positions. She gets his address, and calls a car to go into the city to pay him a visit. The address is of a tiny apartment in a pretty low-rent building, and it finally occurs to Inga that Hesse isn't one of her or Dobermann's sort; he comes from a much poorer family, and while they left him enough savings to get by, that's pretty much all he's been doing, just getting by--he aged out of the orphanage that cared for him, no one ever adopted him, and now the military has left him on his own as well. Inga knocks at his door and calls his name but gets no response. It's unlocked, so she lets herself in--and finds Hesse slumped on his bed, unconscious from a morphine overdose. Alarmed, she barely manages to rouse him; he refuses to let her call a doctor--"Doctors are what got me here"--so she decides to call Dobermann instead, and bring Hesse back to their house. She has to leave the apartment and go to a nearby establishment to do so as Hesse has no phone (he barely has anything), and of course has to wake him again when she returns. She stays with him until Dobermann arrives, and they carry him downstairs and out to the waiting car; after expressing confusion over what Dobermann is doing there, Hesse completely passes out so Dobermann nearly drops him. They drive him back to the estate and get him settled in a room, and Inga waits for him to wake again.

Hesse comes to a while later, perplexed about where he is and why Inga is there; she explains things and he too had no idea Dobermann comes from money. He doesn't tell much about what's happened since they last talked; sensing his shame, she doesn't press. She insists on him staying with them at least until he's better. He expresses doubt about this plan, but doesn't argue much. Inga makes sure he's as comfortable as possible before leaving him alone.

(Privately, she wonders aloud to Dobermann what the appeal is, why someone like Hesse would so easily get hooked. Dobermann hesitates a moment before saying, "Imagine the time in your life when you felt safest and happiest, most protected and warm. Just purely loved, nothing else. Now make that tenfold. That still doesn't quite capture what it's like." Inga asks why, if he went through the same thing, it was so much easier for him and he didn't get hooked. "I don't like how it made me feel," he replies. "But then again, I've had a family, I've felt loved. I imagine if you've never had these things, it might be harder to let go.")

When Inga next visits Hesse, it's obvious he's starting to experience withdrawal; he sweats and shakes and chatters as if freezing, and can barely tolerate the pain in his hip. She pauses, leaves, returns with something, hesitantly holds it out to him. He sees the little case he keeps the needle and morphine in and pulls back. Inga says she won't stop him from using it if he has to, since he never actually agreed to quit; but he shakes his head and says he doesn't want it. "You did something for me," he says, "so now I'll do something for you." Inga tries to explain that he doesn't owe anything, but he insists on quitting cold turkey, and follows through. Inga continues to visit and tend to him through the next week of vomiting and chills and nausea and sweating and more vomiting. Lots of fun. He comes out the other side thin and weak and groggy, but alive. He (and Dobermann) had intended on him returning home afterward, but Inga coaxes him into staying a while longer ("until you feel a hundred percent") and he stays. He ends up becoming a sort of permanent guest, which makes both him and the asocial Dobermann somewhat ill at ease, though Dobermann never insists that he leave. Hesse isn't aware that both he and Inga know he loves her, but this fact isn't what bothers Dobermann--he isn't jealous, he knows Inga doesn't feel the same, and won't cheat on him. Rather, he can see Hesse's issues and character better than Inga can, and certain little details niggle at him. While he knows Hesse is trustworthy and wouldn't ever intentionally hurt any of them, he can also sense something dangerous beneath the surface, and suspects he could very well harm them without meaning to. Inga insists he's a good person, though, so he backs off, yet keeps his eyes open.

It isn't long before Inga becomes pregnant. She and Dobermann welcome a daughter, Adelina, to their home; while Dobermann and everyone else nickname her "Addy," Inga prefers to call her "Lina." She worries about how Hesse will react, but it's apparent almost from the start how much he loves the girl, even referring to her as "Lina" just as Inga does. When Inga awakens late one night, sure she'd heard the baby crying, she goes into her room but finds the crib empty; she quickly paces the halls in a near-panic, before coming upon Hesse seated in a chair by a window, asleep with Adelina (also sleeping) in his arms. He wakes and apologizes, explaining that as he was taking one of his customary late-night walks around the household (to exercise his hip), he heard the baby crying, and decided to take her with him; she fell asleep again as he walked and sang her lullabies. Although it doesn't quite sit well with Dobermann, Inga allows Hesse to look after and tend to Adelina whenever she and Dobermann are busy or don't immediately wake up. Hesse takes to this new role very well--he adores "little Lina," and looking after her gives him a new sense of purpose, as well as distracts him from his pain and loneliness. He doesn't view it as a chore at all. The result is that, although both Dobermann and Inga mean well and do their best, it's Hesse who plays the greatest role in raising Adelina, and Hesse is the one she grows closest to, eventually referring to him as "Uncle Gunter." Hesse even passes on the old tales he was told in the orphanage, of knights and maidens and honor and loyalty, and Adelina dreams of one day finding her own knight, the same as young Hesse had dreamed of finding a maiden.

Here's the aspect of Dobermann that bothered me most, and I keep considering modifying it, but it's his major flaw and I figure it's needed for his character. While he really does love Adelina...he's really not a good father. He isn't abusive, he's just not there. Despite him being the last of his name, and falling in love with Inga, the thought of actually raising kids seems not to have crossed his mind, and the result is he has no idea how to deal with her. His family was never particularly emotionally demonstrative (when his mother gave him her ring to take with him, he reacted with exasperation at how silly it was), so he never learned how to express love in a suitable way; it's just his luck that Inga understands him so well and isn't bothered by his coldness and general lack of affection. Addy isn't so fortunate; she views her father's distance as disapproval, and spends her life trying everything she can to earn his love. There's nothing for her to earn--Dobermann already loves her. But he doesn't know how to properly show it, and Inga is often busy dealing with her husband's personal and social dealings, so Addy ends up relying on Hesse for the love and attention she desires so much. And, likely because he knows exactly what it feels like, Hesse delivers. Addy is homeschooled by tutors, and they live in the middle of nowhere, and the nearest neighbors have no children, so she's close to no one aside from Hesse--he's literally her only companion, and he fills the roles of father, mother, uncle, mentor, friend, and playmate (and, when Addy gets older, potential husband) all in one. Dobermann and much of the help staff find it odd and unseemly that Addy spends so much of her time in the company of and playing with a man old enough to be her father, but Inga trusts him, and he really is good at it.

EDIT: Well cripes...only after I had finally finished this writeup, Dobey, Addy, and Hesse revealed additional details that I think provide some clarification for Dobey's parental attitude. A scene occurs where Addy describes a hazy memory to Gerhardt while Hesse is nearby, half listening.

Adelina: "When I was very little we all went to visit the city, Mama, Papa, and me...you know how when you're little, everything that looks normal now seems so big? The city was so huge and I was so small. I was all right while I was with Mama and Papa. But we got separated somehow...I ran all over that big big city calling for them...I couldn't find them anywhere...and everything looked so different, I couldn't find anything familiar...I just found the littlest spot I could find and I sat there and cried. I'd never been all alone before. It's the worst feeling in the world... Mama found me. Swept me up into her arms like an angel reaching down from heaven."

Hesse: (puzzled look)

Addy: "She held me so tight I thought she'd never let me go. I still feel that, her arms around me so tight, sometimes...then I open my eyes, and she's gone. I don't think I'll ever get used to it."

Hesse says nothing at the time, but later he addresses her privately.

Hesse: "Lina. That story you told before, about when you and your parents went to the city."

Addy: "You heard that?"

Hesse: "Is that truly how you remember it? What happened that day?"

Addy: "Ja, Uncle...why? Why would I make it up?"

Hesse: "It's just...that's not what I heard happened. I wasn't there but when you all returned, your mother told me."

Addy: "What do you mean?"

Hesse: "Your father found you. Not your mother. That's what I was told."

Addy is struck mute. She was POSITIVE Inga was the one who found her. But the more she racks her brain, the more the hazy childhood memory clears: It wasn't her mother calling for Lina and scooping her up and hugging her, it was Dobermann calling for Addy and picking her up and holding her. She can't understand why her brain rewrote the memory the way it did, but the reason is right there: With how cold and distant and uninvolved Dobermann is now, it's difficult to reconcile that with the panicked, concerned father from her childhood. Yet they're both the same Dobermann. What happened? Well...remember when Dobermann described the feeling of being on morphine to Inga, and how much he hated the feeling of the loss of control it gave him...? There are other situations that can give that feeling of a loss of control...including being a new father, taking care of your child. Sure, Dobermann was raised in a stuffy, emotionally closed-off atmosphere where showing too much feeling about anything was frowned upon, and this is pretty much his character...but he DOES still feel those emotions. I'm pretty sure this becomes clear eventually--he's not a sociopath--but it's even more complex than I'd thought. Marriage, and especially fatherhood, started to change him, to thaw the exterior and let out what was buried inside. He likely would have continued to mellow out and open up if circumstances had gone differently and if he'd been better emotionally prepared to deal with things. Nearly losing Addy in the city, however, was a turning point. There isn't quite a "loss of control" feeling the same as being a father who's lost his child (and in this case, he really does blame himself--Inga had left Addy with him for a few moments, and he got distracted)--like Addy says, it's one of the worst feelings in the world. And even though Dobermann does find her, and Inga doesn't blame him for the incident, he can't bear the way it made him feel, the loss of control, not just of the situation but of his feelings. It's like getting hit by a train, everything all at once--love, fear, rage, grief, relief, guilt--and just like the feeling of being drugged, it's too overwhelming, too much for him to handle on his own. Inga tries to convince him this is normal, this is what being a parent is like, and she's finding it out for herself, too--but she wasn't raised in the same stifled environment he was, she actually has mental resources she can draw on while he has no idea how to handle it. She's his partner, she promises to be there to help him through it; but he's been taught not to ask for help, to be self-reliant and figure out how to do things on his own. The only way he can think of to handle overwhelming emotion--both good and bad (because both extremes are equally discouraged)--is to avoid the stimulus in the first place. Which, in this case, means avoiding getting close to Addy. If he keeps her at a distance, he can't lose control, and to him this also means he's keeping her safe--because the last time he was too close to her he nearly lost her. He counts on Inga and, ironically, Hesse to directly care for her while he protects her from a distance. This likely helps explain why he tolerates Hesse's participation in raising his daughter even though he'd prefer if it were different; despite Hesse's efforts to be stoic, he's more in touch with his emotions than Dobermann is, and he's directly dealt quite a lot with loss of control (both in being a recovering morphine addict, and in being an orphan who had to depend on the state for his wellbeing), so even though he never had any family, he's better equipped to handle being a father. Although Dobermann dislikes Hesse, he relies on him to protect Addy in the way he himself is too insecure to.

Tl;dr, Dobermann has very strong emotions, and especially empathy...but his ability to deal with them effectively is severely impaired--he never learned how. And rather than learn how to cope with this, he chooses to avoid. This, rather than being cold and distant, is his character flaw--the fact that he decides it's better to keep his distance than to plow through the pain. To get a bit ahead of myself, he handles the Nazis and the Diamond Network in much the same way, trying his hardest to deal with them without directly dealing with them, because getting involved will mean a lot of unpleasant work he'd rather not deal with; it's only when Inga's actions force his hand that he finally acts. This also explains why later in the story, after Hesse has to dive into the water to pull Addy out when her own negligence causes her to nearly drown, Dobermann's only reaction is to snap angrily in Addy's face, "Foolish!" He's afraid and angry and loving and relieved all at once but all he knows how to safely show is the anger--because it keeps the distance between them. Of course, all Addy sees is the anger, so she has trouble believing he actually loves her. No way this person once swept her up in his arms like an angel reaching down from heaven, and held her like he'd never let her go. That must have been her mother. As time goes by and she and Dobermann grow further apart, her brain gradually rewrites the memory in a way that makes more sense, even though it isn't reality. It takes Hesse--who otherwise spends most of the series lying to and gaslighting Addy every chance he gets--to tell her the truth.

Anyway...

Slowly, the national atmosphere begins to change. A political party called the NSDAP (the Nazis) rises to power. There had already been ugly rumors about how and why Germany lost the war--"Idiots spewing nonsense," Dobermann had confided to Inga, "the generals knew we'd lost long before we actually did, they just didn't want us to know"--yet Hesse had taken a different path, believing the story that they'd been winning before being stabbed in the back by their enemies--and the enemy, according to the NSDAP in this case, is largely the Jews. He'd been quite bitter about this already when Inga had rescued him; his stay with the Dobermanns, caring for Addy, had tempered his anger considerably, but now it starts creeping back. And Dobermann's misgivings about his character start to make sense to Inga, although she tries hard to excuse his growing spite. He's her friend--he's kind, he's intelligent, he dotes on little Adelina--surely he can't fall for such hateful nonsense, surely this is a passing phase. Yet the more toxic the national fervor grows, the more toxic Hesse's attitude grows along with it. Although he doesn't attempt to indoctrinate Addy intentionally, this is what starts to happen anyway--she's so close to him that she picks up on all his little emotions and makes them her own. It isn't long before she starts parroting the same hateful ideals Hesse has developed; it's only Inga and Hesse himself (he actually is dismayed by this tendency) actively discouraging her from doing this that quiets her down, though the ideas are still there. She'd do anything for Uncle Gunter's approval, after all.

Not Hesse, not Addy, not even Dobermann himself have any idea WHY Hesse's attitude alarms Inga so much, why she's so desperate not to believe it. She never told Dobermann before or after they married, as it just didn't seem to matter at the time, she'd barely ever thought about it herself. Inga is Jewish, and the new laws being implemented endanger not just her, but Addy and Dobermann as well--Addy for being "Mischling," part Jew and not a full German citizen, Dobermann for breaking the race laws in marrying a Jew and fathering a mixed-race child. (A note on artistic license here, the category of Mischling has more nuance than I'm indicating here, plus at least initially these laws seemed to "grandfather" certain Jewish/non-Jewish marriages if they occurred before a certain date (sometime in 1935, I think?); Dobey and Inga married around 1919, give or take a year, so their marriage would've been valid, I believe. Not sure how well they stuck to this law, but it doesn't go exactly like that in my version of events. No grandfathering in mine. Plus all of this occurs slightly earlier than IRL.) She realizes she'll have to be extra careful now to never let anyone know, and this means she never knows for sure whether she'll even have the support of Hesse or Dobermann should the truth get out. I. e., her own husband could very well be her enemy now.

Hesse follows the news with growing interest and fervor. He's still angry about the army cutting him loose, so he doesn't want to rejoin, even if they'll have him. Multiple paramilitary groups have started springing up, though, and he thinks he might like to join one of them, but he's not in great shape; he's grown a little soft from his injury and living in ease at the Dobermann estate. He determines to get back in shape. He diets, exercises, and attempts to completely turn his mindset around--ironically, to be more like Dobermann's, rather severe and stoic. No more moping or slacking off. He gets in good enough shape (even overcoming his limp) to apply to and be accepted into the SS-Verfügungstruppe (soon after renamed the Waffen-SS) just in time to go back into combat as war breaks out. (Remember, the war is timed and plays out differently here.) (There's also another liberty taken regarding SS physical requirements. Hesse is farsighted (hyperopia), requiring glasses to see things up close. The SS would almost certainly have rejected him for this so early on; they relaxed their requirements further as time went on, though not at this point. For some reason an exception is made here though I'm unsure why, it's never mentioned, except later when Hesse transfers and his new boss Col. Heidenreich remarks that Hesse's glasses aren't ideal but the rest of his qualities make up for it. Perhaps his service in the Great War sways them a bit.) Adelina is devastated when he breaks the news that he'll be heading off to the Eastern Front (Germany and Russia become enemies far sooner in this timeline); Inga is both heartbroken, and strangely relieved--the former because she'll miss him AND he's definitely sided with the Nazis, the latter because at least it might break his hold on Adelina. Dobermann is just glad to be rid of him finally.

While Hesse is away, he does keep in touch with both Inga and Addy, writing letters. Addy keeps watch for him to return at first, before realizing he's going to be gone for quite a while; she grows depressed, and Inga tries hard to be there for her, to fill the void. Meanwhile, Dobermann is dealing with a new problem: The Nazi Party has started courting him. A lot of the big Junker country houses have numerous hidden passages and rooms and it occurs to the Nazis in the newly formed Wehrmacht that these could be quite strategically advantageous for them in combating the issue of partisans and resistance members, which have also been on the rise. Dobermann is well known to them for his generous donations to the city as well as his previous service, and they assume he has a strong nationalist streak because of this; Nazi officials start paying him visits, wheedling and cajoling for access to his property. Surely a patriot and fellow traveler like Herr Dobermann would be willing to help the cause? Dobermann is dumbfounded by the attention and unsure how to respond--mainly because the Nazis have completely misjudged him. He's NOT a nationalist (as his earlier criticism of the German army made clear), he despises the Nazi leadership, and he's especially unsettled by the stories he's been hearing about them attacking Jewish-owned properties and starting to confine various people in camps. He served with Jews in the Great War, they defended Germany just as much as he did, so this shift in public attitude makes no sense to him. He even privately, to Inga, refers to the Nazis as "preening clowns"; but for the most part, he's very careful with how he speaks. An old acquaintance of his who also served in the previous war, who's now a commanding officer in the Wehrmacht yet not a member of the Nazi Party, warns him that the Nazis are keeping very careful track of who's on their side or not, and this includes speech against the Third Reich. Dobermann better watch what he says and does, lest he trigger suspicion that he's not faithful enough to the Nazi cause; considering that even Jewish Germans who served faithfully in the Great War are now being put out of business, confined to ghettos, and transported to camps for "reeducation," his own position as a Junker definitely won't be enough to protect him this time.

The Nazis just get pushier with their requests; Dobermann doesn't dare turn them down outright, but he tries to think of ways to put them off longer. Although he detests it, he hosts more gatherings and parties at his estate to placate the richer Nazis who are easily impressed by his wealth and influence; he lets them tour carefully selected parts of his house, sits with them in the parlor and lets them talk and drink until they're blitzed, and gives just the right platitudes for them to believe he's on their side and plans to offer his support at some future time. Inga, ever the graceful socialite, helps greatly in this effort--men are instantly smitten with her, and just a smile makes them think they have a chance at anything; at the very least, she's a good distraction. She isn't completely sure where her own husband's loyalties lie--she's aware that he thinks the Nazis themselves are idiots, but for all she knows, he's perfectly in line with their views on the Jews, so she's constantly on edge. Nevertheless, even she sees the usefulness in staying on their good side while keeping them at arm's length, so she goes along with the ruse, no matter what Dobermann's motivations might be.

His old connections to the German army come in useful, as well. When the Nazi officials get too bold for him to handle delicately, he requests assistance, and it comes in an unusual form. A handful of Wehrmacht officers who are not affiliated with the Nazi Party arrive to help patrol his estate and keep their fellow officers, as well as party officials, at bay. Most are either older soldiers from the Great War, who aren't as fit at serving on the front lines as before, or younger soldiers who show better organizational than combat skills. Dobermann is vaguely familiar with an older sergeant named Alger Holt, and puts him in informal charge of the others. They man the front gate of his property, taking over checking IDs from the previous guards; walk the perimeter of the property to watch for any trespassers; and patrol the interior of the house, being particularly vigilant whenever there are visitors. Whenever anyone gets too pushy, they politely but firmly step in and if necessary escort them from the property. The fact that this new security detail belongs to the Heer itself lends it an air of credibility and faithfulness to the state, so this arrangement, however odd it may be, proves to be quite helpful.

Several years in, a letter arrives addressed from an SS hospital: Hesse has been wounded. He's again expected to make a full recovery, yet the injury is serious enough to keep him out of combat for an extended period, so there's the insinuation that his military career is over. Addy is overjoyed to learn "Uncle Gunter" will be returning after so long; Inga is relieved that he's survived. Dobermann doesn't like the thought of him coming back to stay with them again, but keeps his thoughts to himself. They have to wait until his condition is stable enough to travel, then the trip via train is a long one, so it's a while before he arrives; Addy is right there waiting at the gate once a covered truck is spotted rambling up the road to the estate, and as soon as Hesse exits the back she throws her arms around him, making him exclaim aloud and almost fall over--Inga has to pull her back to let him regain his balance. He's thinner but more muscular than she remembers him, his face gaunt and his eyes glassy, and he supports himself on a crutch--turns out his left hip was injured, similar to before. Despite his obvious exhaustion, he expresses amazement at the sight of Addy: "You've grown up!" Embarrassed, Addy grabs his duffel bag before he can stop her and lugs it off; Inga hugs him and welcomes him back. (Dobermann is away in the city.) Hesse is perplexed by the presence of Wehrmacht troops at the estate, so Inga explains the situation; apparently concerned, he offers to help ward off the Nazi officials himself, reasoning that his position in the SS might lend him more authority. Inga is surprised by this offer, yet insists that he's there to rest and recuperate and not to worry about it. They catch up a little bit on their way in, Hesse confirming that his time in the Waffen-SS is over; Inga says, "I know it's not the outcome you wanted, but I'm glad you're back." She reaches out to touch his face--something she's done in the past, at which he usually placed his hand over hers--except this time he flinches away and doesn't let her; she can tell he still has feelings, but something between them has fundamentally changed. He heads to his old room to take a nap and she promises to bring him a drink and wake him for dinner. When she visits his room a few minutes later with a pitcher of ice water, she finds him already asleep atop the covers, still fully dressed--even in his boots.

Dobermann returns and they all eat dinner together--Hesse looking bemused at the several Wehrmacht guards who join them--before relaxing on the patio for a bit; Addy begs Hesse to tell her all about what fighting in a war is like, though he demurs, and Inga privately tells her to give him some time. Eventually they head off to their rooms; Inga goes to check on Hesse again, and again finds him sleeping already, though this time he undressed and covered up. His chest is visible--Inga sees that he sports a tattoo now, a large Totenkopf--skull-and-crossbones--across his breast. This is one of the symbols of the SS. She leaves, suddenly feeling very uneasy.

Hesse settles back into everyday life at the estate and things go much as they had before, just with troops around; he follows up on his offer, and a few times helps dissuade visiting Nazis from pestering Dobermann. A horse trailer arrives--he'd requested ownership of his SS horse, Gewitter, and Addy is over the moon ("You have a horse, Uncle Gunter??"); she brushes and fawns over the mare and literally jumps for joy when Hesse says she can ride her later if she'd like. Dobermann watches all this with arms crossed and a skeptical look; Hesse requests a stall in the stables and promises to cover the expense--he's not indigent anymore, as the SS takes good care of its members. Dobermann just stares sourly at him for a moment before waving it off; he doesn't care if Gewitter is housed for free.

Then, some weeks later, comes an official-looking envelope, addressed from SS intelligence headquarters; Inga uneasily takes it to Hesse. Hesse looks rather uncomfortable himself as he opens it and reads the letter within before handing it to her to read, and explaining the situation: While he was in hospital, the SS doctor who treated him noticed how gloomy he was at the prospect of leaving the Waffen-SS, and suggested that he transfer to a different branch, instead--the intelligence division of the Allgemeine-SS, the non-combatant branch headed by Rupprecht Heidenreich, was looking for new members. Hesse requested a transfer, but didn't wish to tell the Dobermanns until he was sure whether it had gone through or not. The letter informs him his application has been accepted. Misinterpreting the growing distress on Inga's face, he tries to reassure her that it's merely a desk job, boring, nothing dangerous; all he'll be doing is keeping records, investigating issues involving his fellow SS officers, making sure the race laws are being followed--nothing she or Adelina need worry about. Of course all this does is fill her with even more dread. Addy is saddened to learn that with Hesse's new job comes a new place to live, an SS-provided apartment in the city; but he promises to visit frequently and stay with them now and then. Dobermann has no complaint about Hesse going to stay elsewhere, though he does share a few words about his new job itself: "Ridiculous," he mutters, then when Inga asks what he's talking about, "Keeping tabs on everyone. You think everyone's a criminal, it says a lot about you, especially when you're the one making the laws." He refuses to elaborate further when Inga presses, and changes the subject.

Hesse visits the city for an interview and a meeting with a tailor to be measured for his new uniform; it arrives and he tries it on, then shows Addy, who ohh's and ahh's over the all-black tunic and breeches and cap and boots, and especially the honor sword he's earned--"You have a horse and a sword now, Uncle Gunter, just like a knight!" Inga and Dobermann are more restrained in their reactions; Dobermann hates the uniform but bites his tongue, while Inga, well, obviously she hates it too, especially since Dobermann has confided in her a few times about stories he's been hearing regarding what the SS actually does. (Remember those camps? The SS runs them.) Adelina's admiration is particularly unsettling, and again, Inga is somewhat relieved when Hesse returns to the city, but fears the thought of what he'll be doing all day. The SS has been compiling a massive collection of records on all German citizens, especially the Jews, and she can't help but wonder if her name's in there somewhere.

Hesse still visits and stays over at times; his attitude toward her doesn't change, so Inga starts to find it hard to believe he could ever turn on the family. He doesn't even express nearly the same amount of nationalistic spite as previously. She has no idea that he's merely getting good at dividing his life in two, keeping his intelligence duties out of sight. Several more Wehrmacht troops arrive to keep watch over things, including a young Junker private named Konrad Helmstadt, who pretty much takes charge of the household; he's organized and efficient, and despite not getting along well with Hesse (he also hates the SS), the two of them do a decent job keeping nuisances away, and he's respectful toward Dobermann. On the other hand, pressure steps up on Dobermann to "make nice" with prominent Nazi officials, as he isn't seen as quite patriotic enough; he swallows his irritation and accepts the suggestion that he "befriend" an especially well-known SS officer, Lt. Col. Ernst Dannecker, the commandant of the nearby labor camp.

(THIS HERE IS A NEW PLOT POINT BTW, WOOT WOOT.)

Both the camp and Dannecker have very nasty reputations, and Dobermann is very reluctant to follow through, but does so anyway: "If they see you're friends with a snake like Herr Dannecker," Sgt. Holt reasons, "perhaps they'll be inclined to stop bothering you for a while." Dobermann and Inga invite Dannecker to come visit, and he accepts. Inga and Addy greet Dannecker when he arrives with his stepdaughter Margarethe (he claims his wife and other stepchildren weren't able to come). Lots of polite hallos but the Dobermanns can't stand him from the start, with his oily smile and manner and his hard eyes and the odd way he acts toward Gret, who's even wearing a black dress that nearly matches his uniform. The whole thing is very weird but they welcome the Danneckers into the parlor and Dobermann comes to greet them as well. Addy offers to show Gret around the house (they're closer in age than anyone else she's met, so she hopes they'll get along); Gret doesn't respond until Dannecker says, "Go along, Gret dear, it's all right; have fun." Addy shows her various rooms she thinks might be interesting, though Gret maintains the same blank, speechless demeanor the whole time; it starts to unnerve Addy. When Addy says, "I like very much your dress, it looks like your stepfather's uniform!" Gret gives her a look that makes her wilt. She finally shows a bit of personality when they come across Hesse's room--his door was accidentally left open, and he forgot to take his second uniform with him into the city. Addy explains this is "Uncle Gunter's" room and she doesn't think they should go in. "Your uncle is SS?" Gret asks--the first words she's spoken aside from "Hallo" and "Ja, Papa." Addy says he is but "He's not really my uncle." "He's not here tonight, he's in the city; he works for the Allgemeine-SS," she adds, hoping she's found a similarity between them. "Papa works for the SS-Totenkopfverbände," Gret says; Addy's never heard of them, so Gret clarifies, "They run the camps. Papa has his own camp, and all kinds of prisoners, Jews and Zigeuner and all, and if you don't respect him, he'll shoot you." Addy is like, "Um...all right." o_o Gret then turns to her and says, "I've heard houses like this are full of hidden passages," and Addy perks up and says, "Ja, it is! You'd like to see some--?" and shows her one close to her own room; "There are so many of them, we don't even know them all." "It's rather small," Gret says, peering inside; then, an especially strange comment: "The one Papa showed me is much, much bigger. You could scream down there, and no one would hear you." Addy starts to explain that the passages have to be small to fit between the walls when Gret cuts her off with, "I'd like to go back to Papa now, bitte," and that's it. Addy leads her back to the parlor, then excuses herself, utterly weirded out.

Dobermann and Inga, meanwhile, have been chatting--so to speak--with Dannecker. He does most of the talking since Dobermann isn't that skilled at smalltalk. Dannecker finally says, "Why is it, exactly, that we're here right now? What exactly are you looking for?" "Looking for...?" Dobermann echoes, to which Dannecker replies, "What sort of favor do you want?" He's not stupid--he knows he isn't there to just socialize. "No favor," Dobermann says, then, "I doubt you have anything I would want." Inga hisses under her breath, "Louis!"--but Dannecker just starts laughing and says, "I like when someone speaks plain. So then why are we here? If not a favor, what is it you want?" Dobermann takes a big risk--likely just because he finds the commandant so unlikable and is getting fed up with it all--and replies, "I've been told I have to make nice with people like you, to get in good with the Reich." Inga nearly crawls out of her skin at that, but all Dannecker does is smile and say, "I knew it wasn't because you particularly enjoy my company. Your lovely wife looks about ready to run away and never come back." He ignores Inga's stricken look, clasps his hands, and leans toward Dobermann, saying, "So--how best might we benefit each other? I scratch your back and you scratch mine...?"

Well, it positively skeeves the Dobermanns out, but Dannecker's friendship does come with a bonus--the Nazis settle down and drop their mutterings about Dobermann's devotion to the Third Reich. Dannecker, meanwhile, benefits from Dobermann's pristine reputation as Watchman of the City, distracting somewhat from his own unsavory reputation. They have to socialize now and then to keep up appearances, though Dobermann insists to Inga that he'll meet with the commandant on his own turf since he can't stand having him in his house. (Addy doesn't mind her aborted friendship with Gret: "So...creepy, with her blank face and her little goosestep," she tells her mother, "like a spooky little china doll.")

This results in Dannecker inviting him to tour the camp itself; Dobermann puts this off for a while but finally relents. Oh God does he HATE it. Dannecker's camp isn't a death camp, but it has its fair share of deaths and executions, so that it has its own crematorium; the yard is almost always muddy, and conditions are harsh, with Dannecker being so well known for psychologically tormenting his prisoners that he's earned the nickname Der Teufel (the Devil)--even his own guards are afraid of him and his unpredictable mix of casual amusement and hair-trigger rage. He's always polite with Dobermann, however, including as he shows him the camp--of which he seems inordinately proud--and casually points out the ovens for burning bodies and the place where prisoners periodically line up to be sent right, to work, or left, to execution via firing squad. Such a line has formed while Dobermann is there--current prisoners being assessed for their continued usefulness, rather than new arrivals--and Dobermann is allowed to look at the logbook of the officer sending them left or right. It lists names, numbers, offenses, birthplaces, professions. He notices one name, SCHÄFER, TOBIAS, with the words JUDE and ARZT, as well as the notation LINKS--"Left." "This one is a doctor...?" he asks, and after receiving the affirmative, asks Dannecker to point him out; Dannecker complains that he doesn't know one Jew from another, though when Dobermann shows him the name, he realizes he does vaguely know this one--he points out a slight, bespectacled man huddled with the group awaiting execution. Why is he about to be shot? He slightly hurt his arm, and is no longer fit for heavy work. Seems like quite a piddly reason. Dobermann asks, "Why do you not employ this one in the medical ward, like the other camps do?--it seems like a waste to kill a doctor." Dannecker bristles at the suggestion and briefly drops his smarmy facade: "We employ good Germans only--not Jews! You're insane if you think I'd let one put his filthy hands on anyone else." Dobermann bites down his first reaction, takes in, and lets out a breath.

Dobermann: "How much do you want for him?"

Dannecker: (dumbfounded) "You...want to buy him?"

Dobermann: (stare)

Dannecker: (pause) "I don't need money, the SS pays me very well."

Dobermann: (stare)

Dannecker: (pause) "I couldn't help but notice your household possesses a rather fine collection of antique tapestries."

Dobermann: (frowns) "You want a tapestry?"

Dannecker: (smiles) "My choice."

Dobermann: (pause) (holds out his hand)

Dannecker: (smiles wider, shakes his hand) "We have ourselves a deal, then."

Dobermann stands there and watches as Dannecker saunters over to the group of prisoners, calling out, "Herr Doktor." The prisoner doesn't even look at him. Dannecker gets a sour look and says, louder, "Herr Doktor," gets no response. It's only when he gets right in the prisoner's face and yells, "HERR DOKTOR!" that he finally reacts, gasping and flinching back; Dannecker points at Dobermann, in a poor mood now, and says, "Go with him." Schäfer hesitates, obviously confused, so Dannecker kicks at his leg and he hurries toward Dobermann. Then stops. Dobermann notices how he never reacts to Dannecker in the slightest until the commandant gets in his face, in his line of sight, this time smacking him with his crop and repeating, "Go--with--him," slowly, as if he thinks Schäfer is an idiot. Dobermann gestures for him to follow, and as they exit the gate--Schäfer peering around himself anxiously--Dannecker calls out, "I'll be by soon for my tapestry!"

(He later ends up choosing one of a pair of tapestries, an angel and a devil. The devil tapestry amuses him--he's fully aware of the nickname everyone has for him--and he cheerfully leaves with it.)

Dobermann's driver is perplexed when Dobermann lets a Jewish prisoner into the car before getting in himself, but he doesn't explain. As they drive away, Dobermann gestures to capture Schäfer's attention, then with his hands he signs, YOU ARE DEAF? Schäfer, surprised, confirms this (and that he can also read lips), then asks, "How did you know?" Dobermann explains the little signs he saw back at the camp; Schäfer responds that Dannecker never found out that he was deaf, he managed to hide it so well--otherwise, he would have been executed immediately as a disabled defective, rather than put to work. Dobermann then asks if he's indeed a doctor. "I was," Schäfer says, "until they made it illegal." He asks why Dobermann saved him, and Dobermann says he needs an in-home physician at his estate; when Schäfer protests, "But--I'm no longer allowed to practice, it's the law," Dobermann replies, "Under my roof, you're allowed. It's my law."

Inga, and Addy, are also surprised when Dobermann returns with his unusual guest. Dobermann briefly explains things; the two women look at Schäfer curiously, and Addy, who to her knowledge has only ever heard about but never met a Jew, asks in all sincerity, "Do you eat babies...?" Aghast, Inga rebukes her, and offers to get him something to eat from the kitchen (Schäfer wasn't in the camp very long, but he's quite thin and gaunt and spattered with mud); she leads him there while Dobermann has a few words with Holt and Helmstadt about the situation. "I don't remember the details very well, I'm not sure if it's all kosher," Inga apologizes when she brings him some food; the comment puzzles Schäfer but he tells her he doesn't mind, and scarfs down the food ravenously. She returns him to Dobermann, who leads him off to a guest room to stay in for the time being. As they walk up the hallway, Schäfer suddenly shrinks in on himself and cowers behind Dobermann; Dobermann looks at him, then forward again. Hesse, in full uniform, is approaching from ahead. He greets Dobermann, sees Schäfer, furrows his brow a little: "What's this?" "This is Herr Schäfer," Dobermann replies, "and he's going to be the home physician." Hesse blinks in surprise--then his expression shifts into such unbridled hatred that Schäfer cowers again. As if Schäfer isn't even right there, Hesse hisses under his breath that Dobermann needs to return Schäfer to the camp right now.

Hesse: "What are you thinking? Forget about this nonsense. You can employ any good German doctor you want!"

Dobermann: "As far as I'm aware, he is German."

Hesse: "You know exactly what I mean!"

Dobermann: "I do, and that's why I'd like you to hold your tongue."

Hesse: "You're breaking the law!"

Dobermann: "And you're a guest in this house. If you don't like the way I do things, you're free to leave. Go ahead and report me if you'd like, but you'll have to report Herr Dannecker, too. I doubt he'll appreciate that. Now excuse us, but I'm getting Herr Schäfer set up in his room."

Schäfer gets only Hesse's part of this exchange since he's standing behind Dobermann. He has no idea WTF is going on, just that there's an SS officer in the house, he and Dobermann seem familiar with each other, and he wants Schäfer to go right back to the camp. Hesse glares at Dobermann, shoots Schäfer an ugly look, and spits on the floor before turning and stalking away. Dobermann gestures at the trembling Schäfer to follow and gets him to his room, briefly going over how they'll get him some new clothes (he's still in his striped prison uniform), medical equipment as soon as he's settled in, and will rig up his room so he can tell when someone is at his door. He points out the bathroom so Schäfer can wash up, and a dumbwaiter to deliver food and other items if he requests, though he'll be eating dinner with the family later that night, as "You're part of the household now, best get used to it." He leaves to give Schäfer some privacy. Schäfer tentatively runs the hot water, then washes up, and it feels so good he nearly cries. He checks the dumbwaiter out of curiosity and finds that a fresh change of clothes, approximately his size, has already arrived, along with a pitcher of ice water and a light snack with a note from Inga about dinner later. He actually forgets about the run-in with Hesse for a bit, he's so overwhelmed with gratitude, it all feels like a dream. There's just one odd thing...while examining the dumbwaiter, he notices an irregularity in the wall, and realizes there's a hidden passage. He decides to say nothing about it.

Inga arrives to escort Schäfer to dinner, and explains that Hesse is a family friend, news which alarms him; she tries to reassure him that he'll cause no trouble, but Schäfer is understandably skeptical. Dinner goes incredibly awkwardly. Schäfer is invited to the family table; the Dobermanns are fine with it, Holt and the handful of other Wehrmacht guards who eat with them are curious but make no complaint. But then Hesse arrives, sees Schäfer, and is livid--so much so that Dobermann actually leaves the table to argue with him in the neighboring room. "I won't eat supper with some dirty Jew!" Hesse snaps, at which Dobermann curtly replies, "You're welcome to eat elsewhere, then." They stare each other down, then Hesse storms off, back to his room. When Dobermann returns and says Hesse won't be joining them, Schäfer is mortified; despite Dobermann's and Inga's protests, he insists on going to eat in the kitchen with the staff. Exasperated, Dobermann goes to Hesse's room to tell him, "You're free to come eat at the table, the dirty Jew granted your request and won't be joining us." Hesse sulkily returns and neither he nor the Dobermanns talk throughout the entire meal, Dobermann being angry and disgusted, Inga ashamed and embarrassed, Addy confused and uncomfortable. Meanwhile, Schäfer is welcomed into the kitchen with open arms, and the help staff ply him with so much food, including leftovers to take back to his room, that this time he does burst into tears, crying, "Vielen Dank, vielen Dank."

(Aside: Feel free to compare the dialogue and details here with Schäfer's entry, to see differences based on my faulty memory and developing events. Most of this, including the rest, is not set in stone yet, and I often prefer not to look back lest I get caught up in reading old entries.)

Hesse is left fuming over what to do. He does end up visiting Dannecker, who confirms Dobermann's story. When Hesse stresses that what he did was illegal and there could be consequences, Dannecker first looks surprised, then gets that trademark smirk of his and says, "And what are you going to do about it, Kamerad? I hear that last complaint of yours didn't go so well, did it?"* Dannecker is referring to an incident that occurred while Hesse was serving in the Waffen-SS, when he filed a complaint against his commanding officer for making a sexual advance; this of course went to the Allgemeine-SS for investigation, but after a few questions they refused to pursue the case, due to the high standing of Hesse's CO. Hesse ironically had to request a recommendation from his CO when he applied to join...the Allgemeine-SS, the same branch that turned down his complaint. Recalling how this went absolutely nowhere other than embarrassing him, Hesse decides there's no benefit in pursuing an official complaint against Dannecker or Dobermann, both of whom outrank him literally and figuratively, and he'll have to think of something else instead. Another strongly worded demand to Dobermann goes nowhere, and Dobermann warns him that he better not try again. Appealing to Inga is just as fruitless--she insists she has no say in the matter, and surely it's not so bad?--as long as he's on their property, Schäfer is causing no trouble. This gives Hesse an idea about the last feasible thing he can do: He goes to Dobermann and says that if he insists on flouting the law, Schäfer will have to remain on the Dobermann property only, and he has to wear the Judenstern, the yellow star badge, on himself at all times--"I can't protect you, or him, otherwise." This time, Dobermann is livid; but he doesn't argue, as he knows he's pushing his luck. He tells Inga, who asks to inform Schäfer herself; she sews a yellow star by hand and goes to tell him Hesse's demand. Schäfer has been agonizing about Hesse's presence--"He'll send me back to the camp, and you can't stop him"--so to hear that all he has to do is wear the star is an immense relief.

(*This is so weird, I could swear I already shared a version of this event, with different dialogue--Dannecker saying something like, "Go ahead and try, Kamerad, see how far you get"--but I can't find it. Hm.)

The situation takes an unexpectedly beneficial turn not long after when Hesse is seriously injured and Schäfer successfully treats the injury; he then makes the mistake of giving Hesse morphine. When Inga tells him why he shouldn't have done this, he's positive he'll be sent away. Despite Inga's suggestion that he leave Hesse alone now, he returns with a sedative--Hesse is already in withdrawal, shaking and sweating and miserable, and he weakly slaps Schäfer's hand away, saying, "No more needles!" Schäfer explains that it's nonaddictive and will help him sleep, and leaves it for him to take himself; when Inga arrives in the morning, she finds the syringe empty and Hesse sleeping soundly. He returns to the dinner table after a few days, and when Schäfer--who's been eating with the Dobermanns in his absence--starts to get up to go to the kitchen, Hesse urges, "Stay, bitte?" He doesn't address Schäfer after that, but also doesn't complain about his presence, and the evening goes peacefully. The ice between the two very slowly thaws, with Schäfer helping treat Gewitter when she comes down with colic, and Hesse even learning sign language to communicate with Schäfer, stomping his boot twice against the floor to get his attention when needed. The Dobermanns never would have expected it, but the two develop a cautious friendship, having to keep a certain distance out of necessity but otherwise getting along unusually well.

Dobermann couldn't have known the far-reaching consequences of his split-second decision to rescue Schäfer from Dannecker's camp. Not long after Schäfer goes to live with them, Dannecker is murdered in a prisoner escape; the ringleader, who executed Dannecker via his favorite intimidation method--Russian roulette--is Josef Diamant, a former jeweler-turned-document forger who was tortured by the SS and then imprisoned. It turns out he collaborated with Margarethe Dannecker herself to do the deed, and even stole Dannecker's dress sword for her, as a trophy. Dobermann is stunned by this news, but not too surprised; the truly surprising thing is how they pulled it off. Too bad Addy forgot all about that weird comment Gret made about a secret passage in the camp...now hidden, BTW, by a devil tapestry. In any case, Diamant and his fellow escapees soon become the core members of a budding but rapidly expanding coalition of former prisoners, refugees, partisans, and others persecuted by the Nazis, as well as sympathetic German citizens. Against Diamant's wishes this becomes known as the Diamond Network, and one of the things it takes the best advantage of is the systems of hidden passages within city buildings and Junker homes. They learn which Junkers are sympathetic to their cause and make contact, fixing up and expanding the passages to provide safe travel and exit into the countryside.

At least one of the smaller estates within walking distance of the Dobermann property grants the Network permission to use the house, so members often pass by the Dobermanns' land itself. One has the misfortune of stepping in an old abandoned trap and getting caught one evening. She has the good fortune of being discovered not by one of the Wehrmacht guards, but by Dr. Schäfer, who's strolling around the property edges...looking for old traps to disarm. He reassures her he won't hurt her, pointing to his Judenstern, and hurries back to the house to fetch his medical bag. The two of them manage to pry off the trap and Schäfer attends to the injury--the bone isn't broken--before letting her go with the promise that he won't tell anyone they met. She's the one who tells, and soon after, Schäfer runs into Diamant himself. I'm not sure if they were in Dannecker's camp at the same time, but either way they've never met, and since there's no good likeness available of Diamant, Schäfer doesn't know who he is until he explains--then it's pretty obvious. He thanks Schäfer for helping, and says there's another way he can help: By gaining the Network access to the Dobermann house. There's a significant gap in their version of the Underground Railroad and the estate would go a long way toward filling it in. Schäfer wants to help, but is terribly anxious; he loves the Dobermanns and doesn't want to get them in trouble. Diamant gives him some suggestions on how to go about doing it and minimizing the impact on the family--they don't have to know--so Schäfer agrees to try. His best bet is getting the help staff on board.

He joins the staff as they're working and chatting one day, and after some careful conversation is able to judge the atmosphere: Most of them seem disdainful of the Nazis (they often ridicule the estate's visitors) and sympathetic toward the Jews and other prisoners. Schäfer selects the most trustworthy seeming of them for a small private talk; he takes a risk and asks if they'd be willing to help funnel fugitives through the house, using the hidden passages. One or two of them are too nervous/reluctant to commit to anything, but they vow not to interfere; the rest are eager at the prospect. They offer to invite others on the staff who they believe will be interested, and plan a meeting for late one night to get everything in order to send information back to Diamant. They decide to call the meeting a "party," and not try to conceal it from the rest of the household, so as to not be too suspicious. By necessity, Schäfer can't attend, since he's not one of the help staff--he would bring too much suspicion on the rest. They agree to fill him in afterward, though.

The servants have their meeting--they know nobody like Hesse or Helmstadt will bother them, considering such a "party" to be rather beneath themselves--and draw up a tentative schematic of the passages they're aware of and how to access them. A house layout exists--Helmstadt keeps track of it--but it's incomplete, and the staff know of even more passages that aren't listed. They finish their work and prepare to take the schematic to Schäfer and retire for the night, but as soon as they exit into the hallway, they find someone waiting for them: Sgt. Holt. He looks them over and asks what they're up to. They stick to their story of a party, but he isn't buying it. "What exactly is the business you have going on with Herr Schäfer?" he asks--Holt is exceptionally astute, watching everything from the background, and he's noticed their conversations. The servants hem and haw, afraid and uncertain how to proceed; Holt sees the rolled-up paper and requests to look at it. They reluctantly hand it over and he studies it...then says, "You missed a few passages." He waves for the pen and someone gives it to him; he adds a few more lines, rolls up the paper, hands it back. "Whatever this is, you keep it quieter than you already have," he says. "If I found it out, Herr Hesse could, too." And he leaves.

The staff offer Schäfer the map, telling him what happened; he's incredibly anxious but passes it off to Diamant, letting him know who on the staff can be trusted, but also that one of the Wehrmacht guards found out what they're up to--perhaps the plan should be aborted. Diamant frowns but says they'll go through with it, after he checks the house out himself. He sneaks in successfully, slipping through the passages and rooms undetected, peering into a few rooms to see their contents (creepy, but he doesn't linger); on the map he locates Holt's room, and heads for it. Peeks in, sees the furniture and such. Slowly opens the passage, peers a bit further, starts to slip into the room--then freezes when the barrel of a pistol nudges against his head. Holt had heard him despite his best efforts, and concealed himself to the side as he peeked in. "Mind telling me who you are and why you're breaking into my room?" Holt asks.

Diamant: (hands raised) "I'm pretty sure you already know me."

Holt: "Enlighten me."

Diamant: "Maybe not my face but my actions?"

Holt: "I know you're good at being vague."

Diamant: "Well...your boss entertained a certain guest here a long time back, so I'm told; I made sure he won't be entertained again."

A pause, then Holt withdraws the gun. Yes, he's heard of Diamant. And he's smart enough to put two and two together: Diamant and Schäfer were both Dannecker's victims, so for them to be colluding makes perfect sense. The two exchange a few words and it soon becomes clear that Holt hasn't informed anyone about the staff "party" or the home layout. "You need to use the house?" he asks; "Use it for what?" Diamant says, to which Holt replies, "This escape thing you have going on, whatever it is. If so, you need to move around more slowly; these passages are old and creaky. If you're familiar with all the sounds of the house, you notice noises that shouldn't be there. I heard you coming a mile away." Diamant asks why Holt is telling him this. Holt replies, "I fought alongside men just like you in the war. I depended on you for my life more than once. I feel I should return the favor. Especially now that everyone else has forgotten."

So, okay: Holt is in.

It isn't too long before the Network is using the Dobermann house to funnel people through to the countryside and on to safety, though there are limits to what they can do, given how many people live in and visit the house; the numerous Nazi guests, and Hesse, make it necessary to be even more careful than usual and not take as much advantage of the situation as they'd like. They need another, even more powerful ally to ward off this threat, and they find it in Inga Dobermann herself.

Inga's been paying close attention to Germany's deteriorating situation, aided by the stories Dobermann himself passes on regarding what Nazi officials are telling him. He's obviously disapproving of what he hears, but doesn't seem to think he can do much about it. Inga agonizes over being so helpless; she wants to do something, even if her husband isn't on board. Dobermann bringing Schäfer home to live with them was a turning point--seeing his timid, emaciated state, his shaved head and dirty striped clothes, and especially the tattoo on his arm and the yellow star on his shirt, brought the severity of the situation home as well, made it real, instead of some vaporous rumor of things possibly occurring far away. (Despite his love for Addy, Hesse lies to and gaslights her CONSTANTLY concerning the Final Solution, and her admiration for him makes her believe everything he says. To hear him tell it, everything is fine, the trains that pass in the distance all the time are full of soldiers and war supplies, and the camps, well, they're just prison camps, and obviously the prisoners did something to deserve to be there. Even worse, she freely parrots all this to anyone else who listens.) Inga approaches Schäfer one day and asks if he can keep a secret; of course, for her, he can. She gives him her locket; within is a photo of her and Dobermann and Adelina. A look from her makes Schäfer remove the photo; behind it is a tiny Star of David pendant. "No one knows, except you," says Inga; "What about Herr Dobermann?" Schäfer asks, to which she replies, "Not him...not Herr Gunter, not even Lina. It never seemed important enough, until now." She briefly pours out her regret over living so safely and comfortably while others are suffering, and her wish to do something about it; Schäfer says nothing, as he's too afraid to. After getting everything out Inga wipes her eyes, signs, "I'm not sure why I'm putting this all on you, it's just you're the only one I know; I'm sorry," and gets up to leave. Schäfer finally finds his voice and draws her attention; when she looks back at him, he loses his nerve again until she says, "You said I could trust you, so you can trust me too, Herr Tobias." He hesitates, fiddling his fingers; then, instead of going into detail, he tells her to go visit her neighbor--make up a pretext for visiting--and ask to see the jack of diamonds. Inga furrows her brow, but he says nothing else, so she leaves.

This neighbor has no name yet but she shows up frequently enough that she'll get one soon. She's a young unmarried Junker who lives alone with her help staff within far but walking distance of the Dobermann estate, and so is the neighbor the Dobermanns are closest to, occasionally paying social visits. Like Dobermann, she expresses distaste for the Nazis, but doesn't go against the Third Reich. At least, it doesn't look like she does; secretly, she granted the Diamond Network full access to her property a while previously, and actively collaborates with Diamant himself. Schäfer hasn't interacted with her but knows of her through the Network, and knows she's trustworthy. Inga makes the excuse one evening to visit her (bringing along some of the estate's highly prized eggs); the head servant lets her in, asks her reason for visiting, fetches his mistress. The neighbor warmly welcomes Inga and invites her into the parlor, dismissing the servant and asking what Inga would like. Inga pauses uncertainly before saying, "I'd like to see the jack of diamonds." Instantly, the room seems to go cold--the neighbor's smile vanishes and she just stares at Inga. Uncomfortable silence draws out. She gets up and goes to close the parlor door, returns to Inga.

Neighbor: "Who sent you here? And why?"

Inga: "Herr Schäfer told me to come."

Neighbor: "Herr Schäfer? Your doctor?"

Inga: "Ja, he...we had a talk and he told me to come here, to talk to you."

Neighbor: "A talk about what?"

Inga: (flustered) "Why are you questioning me so much--?"

Neighbor: "He told you to say that?"

Inga: "The jack of diamonds? Ja, he did. May I see it?"

Neighbor: "What EXACTLY made him tell you that? What did you ask him?"

Inga: (distressed) "I wanted to help somehow." (hesitates, then pulls out her locket and shows Neighbor the Star of David) "Only you and he know! And I pray I don't regret it!"

Neighbor stares at the pendant a moment, then says, "Put that away. Away, away." Inga does so, believing Neighbor is disgusted and brushing her off, until she says, "Come back in two days. Same time. Come alone; make up an excuse like today. And you can meet the Jack of Diamonds." Inga blinks--"It's a man?"--but Neighbor just calls her servant back, cheerfully thanks her for the eggs--"I may have to ask for some more, soon!"--and bids her farewell. Inga leaves, more confused than ever. As soon as she's gone, Neighbor turns to Head Servant and instructs, "I need you to get in touch with Herr Diamant. Ask if he can be here day after tomorrow, ten in the evening. I know someone he might want to meet." "Frau Dobermann??" Head Servant exclaims in surprise, then hurries to do as he's told. Neighbor's entire home staff is also collaborating with the Diamond Network.

Inga returns two days later, though she's growing increasingly discouraged and anxious. Is welcomed in same as before, goes to the parlor. Neighbor isn't as cold as last time, but notices Inga's distress, and again asks why she's really there. Inga repeats what she said to Schäfer. Neighbor seems sympathetic, but Inga starts to balk when it becomes clear how much danger not just she but her husband and daughter could be put in as well, should she act against the Reich. As she's protesting, a voice behind her says, "You can still back out, if you'd like." Inga gasps and jumps up, whirling around; a figure is leaning against the entry leading to the next room--a tall man in an SS uniform. "You told--?" Inga exclaims in a panic, whirling to Neighbor. "I can't believe you told! I trusted you! What have you done--?"

Neighbor simply retorts, "You wanted to see the Jack of Diamonds!" Inga doesn't get to respond; the man in the SS uniform steps into the room, saying, "When I go out I have to go in disguise...I find this one's unfortunately effective." He sits down, removes his cap; Inga notices that, like her, he has dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes. "This is Josef Diamant," Neighbor explains; Inga looks from one to the other, mute. Diamant gestures for her to sit back down; she does, and he says, "I'm genuinely sorry for frightening you, Frau Dobermann." "You know me?" Inga says, to which he replies, "Of course we know you, and your husband. Watchman of the City. We've been interested in you for quite a while." He makes his pitch, about how if she wants to help, she can grant full access to the estate. Inga is dumbfounded to learn that not only Schäfer--meek, soft-spoken Schäfer--but most of her help staff, plus Sgt. Holt, are already involved. Why does Diamant need her help, then? So far, the Network has limited themselves to using the cellar passages to avoid run-ins with the estate's guests. If Inga were to get involved, she could not only notify the Network of when it would be safe to use the other floors, but deter the guests--and Hesse, the biggest threat of all--away from key areas at key times. As mistress of the household, she's secondary only to Dobermann in allowing access, and so for her to help out the Network would be considered a HUGE bonus. Inga is still iffy but Diamant points out how not only her life, but those of her husband and daughter, her help staff, Holt, Schäfer, and even Hesse--for bending the law in allowing Schäfer to stay with them (he's made a point to never mention this to his boss, the chief of SS intelligence)--are already in danger whether she acts or not: "You can turn around now, and go back to your comfortable life, and I won't fault you for it; nobody before now ever asked you to be a savior. But keeping your head down won't protect you forever. That was what people like me, and Herr Schäfer, used to believe, and look what happened to us--and we're the lucky ones. I guarantee you they'll come for you and your family and Herr Schäfer one day, and even your friend Herr Hesse won't be able to help you, if he even wishes to. I can't guarantee they won't find you out if you help me--but I can guarantee you'll be saving someone else."

Inga is agonized over all this, but finally agrees. Plans are made for her to provide the Network with information on when and where guests of the household will be present or not, so the Network can accordingly avoid or use nearby passages. Additionally, this means they're able to make small fixes to the creaky passages to make them safer and easier to use. They can use the passages on the ground floor as well, which is riskier but quicker than the cellar. (The upper floors are generally ignored as inconvenient.) Inga becomes adept at distracting people away from places the Network is currently using, though she does express her mixed feelings at deceiving her family and Hesse, whom she still considers a good friend despite Diamant's assurance that his opinion of her would change should he find out the truth.

The big unknown in all this is what her own family's reaction would be. Inga knows Dobermann dislikes the Nazis, and even the Nazi Party; but what does he think of the Jews? He did save Schäfer, and accepted him as a member of the household--but so did Hesse, eventually. And even while he's criticized the Third Reich, he still saw fit to associate with Dannecker for his own benefit, and hasn't expressed any interest in taking action against them. Inga has no idea how he'd react to finding out the truth. Adelina is especially complicated: Although not overtly hostile, she still fully believes Hesse's lies, and idolizes the SS, hoping to marry an officer someday. Inga knows Hesse could never accept who she is, but Dobermann and Adelina, they're complete question marks. Yet it doesn't look promising.

She gets the chance to find out abruptly one night when, walking through the halls, she's startled by a Nazi official who has no business being there--although invited in earlier, he never left, and was lost track of, during which time he's been furtively exploring the house, seeking access to the hidden passages they've heard so much about. Inga is expecting Diamant to pass through this part of the house soon, so to run into this guy alarms her even more than usual; she demands that he leave. Seeing that she's alone, he refuses, and in return demands to know where the passage is; her refusal to help makes him suspicious, and he pulls his gun. Inga makes a grab for it and he fires, grazing her arm--during the brief struggle her locket falls to the floor and pops open, the Star coming out so he gets a good look at it--she manages to get hold of the gun and yells a warning, but he charges at her anyway--"Filthy Jew whore!"--and she shoots him. He falls dead and just like that, the Dobermanns' lives instantly change.

Diamant is close enough to hear the commotion; he exits the passageway and rushes to the scene. Sgt. Holt was nearby as well; he also arrives, and they both stare at Inga and the dead Nazi in surprise. Holt, the most levelheaded of the household, starts to suggest what to do, when a noise draws everyone's attention--Dobermann is standing in the hallway, taking in the scene with a baffled look. He looks at the body, at the necklaces, at Holt, at Diamant, then at Inga--utterly confused.

It's late, and he'd just been in bed, reading and waiting for Inga to finish up what she was doing--she's had some odd habits lately, checking the house after nightfall, but he's not the suspicious sort. The two gunshots convince him to hurry to investigate. Finding not just Inga with a gun and a dead Nazi, but Holt, and this guy he doesn't even know, and Inga's locket with a Star of David next to it, he has no idea how to react. Holt acts, instead--he tersely says the Nazi was trespassing, and tried to attack Inga. The truth. Before he can fill in all the holes, though, a new voice whispers from the passageway Diamant exited, warning that the rest of the Wehrmacht guards who heard the gunshots are quickly approaching. (This unknown party is Lukas Mettbach, an associate of Diamant's who often creeps through the passages doing reconnaissance ) Everyone stares at each other for a second, then Dobermann steps forward, takes the gun from Inga, and shoves her at Diamant. "Take her," he says. "Safety." Diamant immediately understands, grasping Inga's arm and pulling her along after him even as she keeps exclaiming, "Louis--? Louis!" They disappear into the passage and Dobermann shuts it behind them. (Cue Lukas catching sight of Inga with Diamant and hissing, "What the--? What the f**k are you doing??") He turns back, drops the gun near the spatter of blood Inga left on the floor, and retrieves the necklaces. "He was trespassing and shot her, she got the gun and shot him, they both died," he says. "But her body," says Holt. "Her wish was her body be taken to her relatives," Dobermann says--it's a weak story which will raise questions, but it's all he has--they can hear the commotion coming. "But she has no other family," Holt says, to which he replies, "Here's hoping they don't know that. You handle the rest."

He heads off in the opposite direction--supposedly carrying Inga's body away. (In reality, he slips into one of the passages and leans against the wall for a bit, trying to collect himself--a feeling he's quite unused to.) Holt does what he does best, and takes charge of the disintegrating situation; the first to arrive is Private Helmstadt, who sees the body and asks what's going on. Holt sticks as much to the real story as possible, but has to explain why Dobermann supposedly took Inga's body away. He prevents the others from asking too much by issuing orders--the Dobermann house is now a crime scene, meaning the authorities have to be contacted. Helmstadt leaves to call Lt. Hesse, who's staying at his apartment in the city; he mentions an emergency at the Dobermann estate, involving a shooting and Inga Dobermann. Hesse, stunned, says he needs to contact his boss but will be there as soon as possible. It's after hours but Col. Heidenreich is still at SS headquarters; he offers to stay there while Hesse goes to the estate, and promises him all the manpower he needs to investigate. Hesse heads out alone to assess the situation; the drive is over an hour, including over some rough country roads, so it takes him a bit. Dobermann has "returned" by the time he arrives, and Holt gives him most of the details. As expected, Hesse is confused by the removal of Inga's body--"Why didn't you take her to Dr. Schäfer?" Dobermann insists she was already dead--"He's a doctor, not a miracle worker"--and reiterates Inga's last wish. "But...Frau Inga never told me anything about having other family," Hesse protests, to which Dobermann tersely replies, "Maybe there are things about her she never told you." Ouch. Hesse gives up on ironing out the details just yet, and promises a full investigation--except Dobermann requests that he keep it low key, to avoid drawing too much attention that could upset Addy (she's still asleep and has no idea what's going on yet). If there's a big fuss, all it can do is bring trouble to the family. Although bewildered and reluctant, Hesse agrees, and orders a couple of the guards to carefully bundle up the body and bring it out to his car, and make sure nobody messes with the rest of the scene until he returns in the morning. (Forensics isn't fantastic in my story.) He takes the body back to the city with him and hands it off for autopsy, reports to Heidenreich (he asks for discretion, and to be allowed to investigate with just one other officer of his choice, to which Heidenreich agrees--the officer he chooses is 2nd Lt. Paul Wozniak, who has a new name but is not a brand-new character, I've mentioned him before--and yes, I'll explain that surname eventually), then heads back to his apartment to try to catch a bit more sleep.

Hesse doesn't handle Inga's "death" well at all. He's still in love with her, and the situation hits him all at once now that he's alone; he breaks down sobbing and shaking. It's the worst pain he's ever felt, and it won't stop, so he tries the only thing he can think of to numb it; he rummages in his study and digs out the kit he keeps his morphine works in, which he's kept hold of all this time--not to use, but as a reminder NOT to use. Well, all that has gone out the window with this development, and he prepares the needle and is actually about to go through with it when his eyes blur over again and he can't see what he's doing. He breaks down crying again and manages to doze off. He awakens to a pounding on his door, sees the needle lying beside him, examines his arms and the syringe but finds he never went through with it; then goes to answer the door. It's Lt. Wozniak, who showed up when Hesse didn't report in to work; Hesse invites him in while he gets ready. While wandering around Wozniak spots the drug works and asks Hesse if he's truly good to go; Hesse confirms that he is, and they head out to the Dobermann estate to ask questions and collect what remaining evidence they can.

Ironically...Hesse ensures that the SS doesn't delve TOO deeply into Inga's death, thus protecting Dobermann and Adelina--who's since been informed of what happened--from scrutiny. He's not stupid, he sees the gaping holes in Dobermann's story, but he's not willing to dig too deep himself--he wants to protect Inga and Lina too, even though he doesn't know what from. Dobermann effectively uses his feelings for Inga to shield his family and keep Inga's secret--because he's not stupid either, as soon as he saw Inga's necklace on the floor, then heard Lukas call out to "Herr Josef" from the passageway, he understood exactly what was going on. He's heard of Josef Diamant and what he does. So he knows that not only was Diamant the only person who could shuttle Inga away to safety, but Hesse's cooperation is needed as well. So he sees nothing wrong with manipulating him like this. Addy, however...he doesn't know how to handle her. She's far closer to her mother than to him, so she reacts to Inga's "death" much as Hesse (privately) did, sobbing with grief that she didn't get to tell her goodbye. When Hesse finds out that Dobermann hasn't even attempted to comfort her yet, he's infuriated, confronting him and demanding that he step up: "She needs you more than ever right now! And what do you do but avoid her, like a coward?" This doesn't sit well with Dobermann, who snaps, "She's MY daughter, not yours! Don't think you can tell me how to be a father!" to which Hesse retorts, "Then ACT like one!" and storms off. Even with as much as Dobermann dislikes Hesse...this particular comment hits home. He knows he's right this time. He belatedly approaches Addy while she sits crying alone, and, unable to think of anything to say, puts his arms around her. She hugs him back, tight, and just sobs; although uncomfortable with the outpouring of emotion, he lets her.

Thanks to Hesse's interference, the Dobermanns escape intense investigation, with most of the attention falling on the dead Nazi himself. He's a minor player and Heidenreich declines to put much effort into finding a motive behind his actions, instructing the SS to leave the Dobermanns to grieve in peace; he even helps turn the guy into the scapegoat for trespassing and threatening Inga. The fine details, the holes in the story, are swept under the rug. Inga was well known and loved, and there's an outpouring of support for the Dobermanns, though they pretty much keep to themselves in the aftermath and are left alone. Hesse and Wozniak complete their cursory investigation and the case is quietly closed.

What happened to Inga...? Diamant transports her, weeping, to Unnamed Neighbor's house. Head Servant lets them in and calls her and Diamant fills her in on what's happened. He isn't comfortable entrusting Inga to anyone else; although it's risky to keep her so close by, Neighbor agrees to let Inga stay with her for the time being, since everyone in her house is in on things. She tells Inga (who's nearly inconsolable over not saying goodbye to her husband and daughter) she'll need to be disguised, and Inga agrees. Neighbor first cuts Inga's long black hair into a much shorter bob, Inga's eyes welling up with tears as she does so; it reminds her of what she's been told of the Jews who enter the camps. Neighbor then washes and bleaches her hair blond; Inga takes one look at herself in the mirror, puts her hands over her face, and starts crying. Neighbor recently lost one of her maids, so she brings out the maid uniform for Inga to try; it fits. She can't do anything about Inga's dark eyes or complexion, so it's decided she should try to keep her head down and try to remain unobtrusive when visitors appear. "It'll be all right," she tries to reassure the weeping Inga. "Your family's safe. And it won't always be like this. It has to change, sometime." Inga is unconvinced; she retires to her new bedroom to cry herself to sleep.

Dobermann, meanwhile, is left dealing with the remaining details on his own. Hesse does what he can to distract Addy from her woes while Dobermann tries to process what happened. Holt and the help staff are feeling quite anxious about the turn of events--now that Dobermann knows what's been going on, they're afraid he'll put a stop to their activities, and perhaps even report them since he's friends with members of the SS. At the very least, the loss of the Dobermann estate from the Diamond Network's escape route would be a devastating blow--especially if he then decides to grant access to the Nazis, instead. So when Dobermann shows up in the kitchen (the hub of escape activity), the staff fall still and stare at him nervously. He glares back at them for a moment--they're positive he's going to order an end to their collaboration--when he walks over to a pantry and opens it. He steps within, moves some storage items out of the way, pushes a shelf aside. The staff, who've crowded around the entry, are surprised to see a doorway here--no one, not even Holt, previously knew of its existence. Dobermann opens it and shows them the narrow passage hidden behind; "From now on, use this way only," he says; "The other may be compromised." He closes and conceals the passage again and departs; that's it, that's all he has to say. The help staff sigh in relief. Although Dobermann himself appears to want to play no part in it, the secret escape effort through his household will continue.

Dobermann is understandably quite pissed off when Diamant makes another appearance at his house, wanting to talk to him; Holt has to make sure he's not going to punch Diamant, or worse, before giving them privacy. Diamant explains what's become of Inga, to put any of Dobermann's worries to rest; Dobermann responds by just glaring at him. Somewhat nonplussed, Diamant starts to describe how he's heard of Dobermann allowing the Network to continue using his property, when Dobermann interrupts him with, "Tell me why it is you're here, before I throw you out." Diamant misinterprets Dobermann's hostility as antisemitism and says, "I understand why you may have issues dealing with me--" when Dobermann, seeing the misunderstanding immediately, again cuts him off with, "I hate you for taking my wife away from our daughter. That's the issue I have with you." So, now Diamant knows exactly where he stands (and suppresses a pang of guilt), and says, "Fair enough." He mentions how effectively Dobermann dealt with quashing the investigation, even ensuring the cooperation of a wildcard like Hesse; Dobermann additionally holds a lot of sway with the Nazis and the public, given his charitable donations and his association with Dannecker. (Diamant notices the way Dobermann wrinkles his nose at the mention of the commandant's name.) "Your point?" Dobermann says; Diamant replies that this is a charade it'd be beneficial for him to continue, for his family and for the Network: Despite the SS's (unintentional) collusion, there will still be questions from the other Nazis over the loss of one of their own, and there's already suspicion of Inga herself (later in the story, it's obvious at least a little of this is passed on by Heidenreich's wife, Eva). Dobermann's skepticism of Diamant's suggestion wanes as he listens and realizes he can't afford to sit back and do nothing anymore; but rather than actively push back against the Nazis, Diamant explains it'd be better for him to play nice with them as he'd already been doing--feign magnanimity should they apologize over Inga's death, befriend more of them, welcome them to his house (while keeping the Network apprised of when and where they'll be). While he's doing all this, it'll lessen any suspicions...plus he can gather information from them, which the Network can use. Dobermann makes no promises, doesn't agree to anything, though Diamant can tell the gears in his head are spinning; he readies himself to go, thanking Dobermann for at least allowing the Network to continue using his house, to which Dobermann responds, "That was for Inga. Now get out."

Diamant visits Inga to let her know Dobermann and Addy--and Hesse, and Schäfer (who, like Addy, missed all the drama and so isn't in on the plot)--are all right, but she's still crushed, assuming her own husband must surely hate her now. When Dobermann stops by to visit Neighbor and clear up a few details, she hears his voice and crouches in the stairway, peering down into the room but unable to go to him as it's still too risky plus she can't think of what to say. When she hears him leave, she hurries upstairs and to a window overlooking the path heading in the direction of the Dobermann property to watch him go. He just happens to glance back at the house, spots her, and stops, turning around. The two of them stare at each other. Then, Dobermann raises his hands, and signs: I LOVE YOU. Inga takes in a breath, eyes watering, and signs back, I LOVE YOU. Dobermann looks at her a moment more before turning and walking away. Neighbor finds Inga at the window and escorts her away in case anyone else sees her, but at the moment she doesn't care--finally she knows for sure. Dobermann doesn't care that she's Jewish, that she never told him, that she opened up his household to a world of trouble. He still loves her.

Although it makes his skin crawl, Dobermann takes Diamant's advice. When a Nazi official stops by to express condolences and promise such a thing will never happen again, he accepts the apology, and consents to a small group of them paying a visit to discuss things. Just as Diamant had predicted, they're so relieved not to have incurred Dobermann's wrath that their suspicions about the odd incident quickly fade; additionally, he makes another series of donations, including to a nearby Lebensborn maternity home, to further smooth things over. (He avoids donating to any overtly violent or propaganda causes.) The regular German citizens adore him (and the "deceased" Inga) as the benefactors of the city; the Nazis, believing he's on their side, praise him as a fellow traveler and benefactor of the Reich. And meanwhile, the Diamond Network knows the truth, that he's an informant for the resistance; among them, and despite Inga's background, they become known as Saint Louis and Saint Inga, or more cryptically, the King and Queen of Hearts. Despite knowing this, Network members also know they have to help maintain the facade, and so spread rumors about the Dobermann family's Nazi connections and murky bits of info about Dobermann himself possibly engaging in acts of violence. His largely reclusive nature only helps with this impression; nobody can say they truly know him.

This ruse works so well that when the Allied forces officially get involved, they can't tell for sure what Dobermann's true alliances are; he really does look like a benefactor of the Nazis. They send in a spy to try to get to the bottom of things: Stephen Gerhardt, seemingly a Wehrmacht sergeant who's been injured and requested an easy posting at the Dobermann estate while he recovers, in reality a Jewish American soldier who's already gotten a look at what the Nazis are up to with all those trains. He's instructed to establish contact with the Diamond Network while getting to know the members of the household and try to figure out why Hesse is even there. He gradually gets to know Addy, Helmstadt, honorary Wehrmacht member Senta Werner, and Nazi Wehrmacht visitor Wilhelm Volker, and after learning that Holt and Schäfer are connected to the Network, at last makes contact with Diamant, who thinks he's ignorant but grudgingly helps him out. He finds Holt, Schäfer, and Senta agreeable enough; Helmstadt is stiff and unsociable, Addy keeps a cautious distance and is hard to get to know, and Dobermann himself is near impossible to get a read on. Hesse rightfully distrusts Gerhardt, but ironically, Schäfer's vouching for him lowers his defenses somewhat. Volker is the friendliest of the bunch, being a new visitor to the estate and showing obvious interest in Addy...except she's developed a serious crush on Hesse since the loss of her mother, and rebuffs anyone else's overtures. (Although he still has unresolved feelings for Inga, Hesse has by now fallen in love with a nightclub singer, Sophie Sommer, and Addy spends her days moping over this, wishing she were fair and blond and blue eyed unlike her mother--she has no idea Hesse loved Inga as well.)

An aside here: Love is a complicated, messy theme in this story, with a few characters loving more than one person--Hesse harbors genuine feelings for both Inga and Sophie, while Inga herself loves Dobermann first of all, but later on also loves Josef Diamant; also to a lesser extent there's Lukas Mettbach/Gret Dannecker/Lukas's unnamed former love, and Klemper/Ratdog/Baswitz. I find this rather bothersome--unless it's a consenting polyamorous situation, I personally believe in monogamy--but I guess love just isn't that clean cut. Here's some dialogue from a WIP scene after Inga and Diamant end up together:

Diamant: "You have no idea, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this. Dreamed of doing this. Ever since I met you you lay with me in all my deepest dreams at night, but the dream was never as good as the reality. To the ends of the earth I would've followed you, willingly, to do this, to make that dream real. A million times over."

Inga: "You had a chance, long ago."

Diamant: "No...I didn't. You still loved him then. Maybe even you still love him now. I think you do. I don't mind. I know feelings like that don't simply die when one's love is gone. Even though I've only ever felt that for one person. Especially for that reason. If you were to go tomorrow, I'd love you still. I'd love you always."

Inga: "I truly do love you, Josef."

Diamant: "I know. I believe you. And you still love him too. Life is complicated."

Anyway...Gerhardt has lots of trouble trying to get on Dobermann's and Addy's good side, and although the Network communicates with him, they don't give up what they know about Dobermann's true alliances as they aren't 100% sure they can trust him. A good deal of the story is spent on Gerhardt passing time on the estate getting to know the odd ways they do things (within the confines of the Dobermann property, it's almost like a safe neutral zone where the war isn't even occurring, with most of the guests not caring who is Jewish or Nazi or not, though there are rare exceptions like when Heidenreich pays a surprise visit and Hesse quickly hides Schäfer from him). He slowly gains their trust, though it's frequently in danger of being lost again, such as when Addy gives up her hopes of Hesse falling in love with her and she and Gerhardt end up together; Hesse is surprised to find Gerhardt in her room the next morning, and corners him in the hallway, promising to put a bullet in his neck if he ever upsets her. Somehow Dobermann finds out as well; all he does is give Gerhardt a withering death glare, but it's enough to cow him. There are signs, however, that Dobermann is letting down his own defenses just a tiny bit; at one point he invites Gerhardt to join him in the parlor away from everyone else, and briefly explains the role he's been granted by the residents of the city and how hollow it rings in the face of things (taking off his honorary watchman's hat as an illustration)--people like himself are becoming part of the past, obsolete, as newer viewpoints take over, and whether this is a good or a bad thing, he can't say for sure. It's a surprisingly intimate admission, though Gerhardt still isn't sure what sort of person Dobermann really is.

True allegiances at last start to become known as the war comes to a head and tensions rise even on the Dobermann estate. What tips off Gerhardt about where Dobermann stands is when he comes upon Gerhardt talking with Josef Diamant in the house; Gerhardt expects a confrontation, but all that Dobermann does is say to Diamant, "Get out of my chair." It soon becomes clear that, despite Dobermann's desire to remain reclusive, he and Diamant have had to remain in close contact all this time, with Dobermann reporting on what information he's gleaned from his associations with the Nazis and, like Inga, making sure they're kept away from Network activities under his roof. It's clear to Gerhardt now that Dobermann is no Nazi and no fellow traveler as even the Diamond Network's rumors say; pretty much apolitical, he's been collaborating with the resistance since Inga's "death," largely motivated by his desire for revenge for the Nazis breaking apart his family. (Though he's still pissed off at Diamant for that, too.) He'd suspected from the start that Gerhardt is an Allied spy, but of course couldn't trust him; one detail that began to convince him was the concern Gerhardt showed for Addy. As for Addy...she's a lot more complicated. Gerhardt tries to get through to her, to convince her that Hesse has misled her this entire time and, far from being the honorable person she's always believed he is, is actively involved in the slaughter of countless innocent people. Even if it's true, Addy desperately tries to cling to the story that these people aren't innocent, they betrayed the Fatherland and so surely deserve some of what they get--the SS is just performing a necessary evil. Gerhardt is frustrated trying to convince her otherwise, but growing evidence from numerous other sources such as Dr. Schäfer, Lukas Mettbach, and Maj. Jan Delbrück, adjutant of the labor camp (he runs into Addy at Sophie's nightclub and later on offers to let her see inside the camp as proof of what's happening--he's the one who informs her there's no way Hesse is ignorant of the mass executions, since the SS is behind them) starts wearing down her defenses. An uncharacteristically sharp rebuke from Dobermann himself when Addy mentions how Germany was betrayed--"There was no stab in the back. I was there, you were not. We simply lost"--hits especially hard.

Josef Diamant reveals himself to her--she'd actually met him before, in disguise--but she refuses to take his word; growing frustrated like Gerhardt, he invites her to Unnamed Neighbor's house to meet someone. Addy has no idea the "someone" is her own mother, who's been alive all this time, but what's more shocking is that she's Jewish. Addy had had evidence of this--finding the Star of David in Inga's locket, which she was given by Dobermann--but hadn't been willing to believe what it most likely meant. Her own mother telling her that she's part Jewish, too--plus Dobermann is guilty of breaking the race laws--is more than she can handle, and she flees. She doesn't report the meeting, but Inga returns instead to the Dobermann estate and runs across Dobermann; they stare at each other a moment before Dobermann embraces her, hard. Addy realizes that everything Gerhardt and Diamant have said is true--and not only her mother but her father was in on it all, too. It's overwhelming, but she doesn't have much time to dwell on it before Hesse arrives at the estate, and discovers that Inga is still alive--and is Jewish. (Gerhardt is just learning this, and so is Schäfer and everyone else who wasn't involved--so yeah, it's pretty confusing.) Although stunned to see his old friend alive, Hesse manages to warn the Dobermanns not to flee as he has to take them into custody. A dispute breaks out with guns pointing every which way; Volker gets wounded, and when Hesse hesitates to shoot when Addy jumps in front of her parents, Helmstadt attempts to shoot instead--although not a member of the Nazi Party, he still believes in the race laws, and finding out that fellow Junker Dobermann broke these laws infuriates him. Volker shoots him, and Diamant shoots Hesse, Addy crying out in grief. They hear additional Wehrmacht forces approaching and so the Dobermanns, Diamant, Gerhardt, and Schäfer escape through the passages while Holt, Senta, and Volker stay behind to try to protect the staff. (Senta's father, who'd previously socialized with Dobermann but has since been radicalized, had caught wind of rumors about Inga and tipped the Nazis off.) Diamant leads the group into the countryside and then into the foothills where Lukas catches up with them: He's rounded up the horses from the Dobermann stables, and hands them off--Addy cries when she's given Gewitter, Hesse's Waffen-SS mare. Diamant then puts Gerhardt in charge and departs with Lukas to help the Network; now able to move faster, the group heads into the mountains. Dobermann has traveled here before and so leads them to a small mountain town he's familiar with, which has largely escaped the attention of the Nazis; they decide to remain here until certain that the situation down toward the city is stable.

Their stay becomes permanent. Gerhardt manages to get news of what's happened in their absence: The Dobermann estate was overrun by the Nazis, but Holt's, Volker's, and Senta's efforts delayed them enough to successfully protect the staff; the three fled, splitting up along the way, but have all survived, with Volker and Senta picking up her mother (leaving her turncoat father behind) and ending up together. Holt surrendered, but the Network vouched for him, and he made himself useful by translating for the Allied forces that overtook the city. Most of the SS forces that remained, such as Hesse's associate Master Sgt. Theodor Schulte, were captured or killed; those who were smart, like Wozniak and Delbrück, escaped early and disappeared, presumably going into hiding. (Heidenreich had been killed some time before, by his wife and her lover, who were executed and committed suicide.) Sophie, learning of Hesse's death, committed suicide. Unnamed Neighbor and the other Junkers who assisted the resistance were guaranteed safety and allowed to keep their property. The commandant of the labor camp and Dannecker's successor, Lt. Col. Hasso Reinhardt, turned off the electric fences and opened the gate, then waited for the Allies to come capture him; those prisoners who were too weak/sick to flee on their own were rescued while Reinhardt was taken into custody (he later goes to prison). (Americans reach the city first in my version, even though I've read that IRL they liberated none of the camps; not sure if that's true.) Following the final defeat of the Third Reich, American forces are left in control of the city; unfortunately, Diamant was captured by remaining SS forces shortly before this happened and forced on a train to be transported to one of the remaining camps for extermination. It's a painful blow which hits the Dobermanns especially hard, considering everything he did for them over the years.

Dobermann is still considered a hero by the majority of those in the city; the Network lets the truth out that he actively aided the resistance against the Nazis, and the Allies permit public recognition of this. The city folk dedicate a memorial to him as Watchman of the City, though Dobermann himself declines to leave the mountain town to attend; he never cared about public recognition, all he cares about now is his family, which gains a member when Gerhardt and Addy decide to marry. Addy requests one thing, that "von Dobermann" remain part of her surname, so the family name won't completely disappear; Gerhardt agrees. When Dobermann hears of this he says nothing, though the look on his face makes it clear the gesture has touched him.

The Dobermann estate is left, temporarily at least, to the remains of the Diamond Network, to deal with handling remaining refugees; the help staff feed and supply them. Gerhardt and Addy are wed in a small ceremony in the mountain town; a few days later, a package arrives, addressed to Adelina Dobermann. Inside are two beautiful golden rings and a playing card--a jack of diamonds. Addy and Inga are elated: Somehow, Josef Diamant survived, and has sent a belated handmade gift. Some time later he comes to the mountain town himself and sets up a small jeweler's shop to replace the one the Nazis destroyed; Gret Dannecker comes to work for him, then eventually Lukas Mettbach as well. Dr. Schäfer, meanwhile, bids the Dobermanns a bittersweet farewell; now that it's again safe for him to merely exist, he decides to return to the city to see all the things he's missed. He promises to visit and keep in touch, and removes his Judenstern, giving it back to Inga: "It feels strange without it, like going without a cover on my head...but I don't need a security blanket anymore." He thanks the Dobermanns for everything they've done--"You're truly the family I never had the chance to have, and you will always remain my family"--before leaving.

...Now...why, earlier, did I provide a story excerpt where Inga and Diamant are together, when Dobermann survives the war and he and Inga and Addy are reunited? The reunion is only temporary, and in actuality the Dobermanns have only about a year or so left together; this detail hits me hard, Dobermann went through so much, spent so much time apart from his beloved Inga, that it just doesn't seem fair that it barely lasts. 😞 But thus goes the story. After entering Diamond Network custody, while confiding her fears to Diamant, Inga kissed him; Diamant broke the kiss only reluctantly, saying, "You're a very beautiful woman. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't... (*trails off*) But I know you love your husband. And I know you'd never forgive yourself if we went through with this." Ashamed, Inga never tried again. Fast-forward. Some time after the war's end, a rumor reaches them that a Nazi medical experiment, known as Project Doomsday, did not end with the war--a handful of Nazis fled to the Alpine Fortress, taking with them the notes left by the SS doctors, and have been continuing the project under a new name, Ultima Thule. Gerhardt and the others had actually come across evidence of this while fleeing to the mountains, when the Waffen-SS forces they encountered along the way proved to be almost impossible to fend off; they'd assumed they were under the influence of methamphetamine, but this is something far worse. Doomsday's original goal was merely to increase a person's strength, intelligence, and stamina, to create a sort of super soldier; Ultima Thule's goal is to achieve immortality itself. When Gerhardt, the Dobermanns, Diamant, and Lukas head to the Fortress to figure out what's going on, they learn that the immortality part of the project is already well under way: While retreating, the Nazis took Hesse's and Helmstadt's bodies with them, and now here they are again, seemingly alive and well.

They don't directly respond to or even seem to recognize their former associates, however, and just blindly attack whenever the group runs across them. Eventually the Allies figure out that this version of immortality lasts only as long as the brain is intact, which explains how to kill a super soldier (and explains why someone like Schulte, who was shot in the head, wasn't included in the experiment); also, there's a drug that counters the hypnotic effect, restoring Hesse's and Helmstadt's consciousness. Helmstadt is still every bit a racist Nazi-ish a-hole who keeps attacking them afterwards, though when Hesse "wakes up," he's bewildered and confused, especially to learn that the Third Reich collapsed quite a while back and most of his comrades are dead or missing. Learning of the deaths of Schulte and Sophie is exceptionally painful, and his reaction is to assume that this leaves him obsolete, with nothing left to fight for; plus, being confronted by the Dobermanns, now that he knows who and what they are and remembers how he acted previously, racks him with guilt; he still hasn't let go of all his old bigotry but he's seen enough for it to be crumbling at the edges. (Even while alive, he'd seen the growing corruption and hypocrisy in the SS and had been planning to leave them in favor of marrying and settling down with Sophie.) He especially hates the impact he's had on Inga and Adelina (the formerly affectionate, adoring Lina cringes away from him now), so he doesn't care if anyone kills him or if the project succeeds or fails. He just wants to not exist anymore.

Gerhardt convinces him he may in fact have a reason to help them terminate the project. Hesse has a strange recollection of when he died, which includes a period of darkness, fear, and confusion that felt like it went on forever, followed by a dim vision of what looked like Sophie, standing in the sunlight looking back at him. Although he lost most of his own faith long ago, Gerhardt theorizes that this might not have been the dream Hesse thought it was. If there's at least the slightest chance Sophie is waiting for him somewhere, wouldn't that make helping them out worth it? Although skeptical, Hesse finally agrees, though he states that more than for himself, he wants to repay Inga, and especially Adelina, for the way he harmed them. He joins the rest of the group as they navigate through the mountain fortress, at one point at last telling Inga the truth: "I loved you once...for a long time. I never said. I knew you didn't feel the same. And that was all right, as long as I could call you my friend." Inga quietly replies, "I always knew."

With Hesse no longer leading them, Helmstadt assumes command of the Nazi soldiers defending the project. They thwart every attempt to reach headquarters to destroy the project so it's determined that the only way to put an end to it is to destroy the Fortress itself. This involves making and strategically placing explosive devices, which is easier said than done; while Dobermann and Diamant are attempting this, they're attacked, and both end up sliding down to the edge of a cliff. Diamant tries pulling Dobermann up higher, but all this does is drag him further down. He ignores Dobermann's demand that he let him go or else both of them will fall and they won't be able to finish placing the explosives. After a few seconds of arguing, Dobermann pauses, looks down, then looks back up at Diamant, his eyes afraid but resolved. "Look after her," he says. "What--?" says Diamant, confused--when Dobermann suddenly twists Diamant's right hand, which suffered nerve damage when Dannecker stabbed him long ago. Diamant lets go without meaning to, crying out as Dobermann disappears from sight--then he too suddenly slips and starts to go over the edge when something grabs his other arm. Looking back, he finds Hesse holding on to him; Hesse manages to pull him back from the cliff, and they sit staring at the darkness for a moment. Diamant opens his hand and looks at it, then holds it toward Hesse, dropping something in his palm; it's Dobermann's wedding ring. "You give it to her," Diamant says; "It'll mean more coming from you."

Inga and Addy are understandably grief stricken when the two return without Dobermann. Hesse returns his ring and Inga crumples to the ground, Addy with her. They don't have much time to grieve however as someone has to manually set off the detonation--they can't time it, lest Helmstadt find and disarm it first. One of them will have to remain behind. Lukas volunteers, as he has no family--"You f**kers killed 'em all," he says to Hesse. (Hesse had nothing to do with Lukas's clan being killed, but he did get a large group of Lukas's fellow Sinti sent to their deaths, as revenge for Lukas attacking him previously.) Something seems to click in Hesse's head, and he volunteers instead. Addy tries to convince him not to--"I already lost Papa, what'll I do without you, too?"--but he's resolved. (I should point out that even if he returns with them, he'll be executed anyway. I don't think this occurs to Addy.) "You've all grown up," he says; "and you grew up right, despite me. Take care of your mother now, ja? She needs you."

Lukas is skeptical of Hesse's promise to set off the explosives--and presumably kill himself at the same time--but Diamant and Gerhardt take a risk in trusting him--"I know it won't undo everything else I did, but even if it's just one small right thing..."--and they leave, fleeing the Alpine Fortress to make their way back to the foothills. Hesse stays with the detonator. As expected, Helmstadt arrives and first attempts to talk Hesse out of doing what he's doing by convincing him that the continuation of Project Ultima Thule can usher in a Fourth Reich, even more glorious than the last. "It's over! It's done with. We're the ones who are obsolete. We're the Untermenschen," Hesse says, which enrages Helmstadt and he tries to attack. Both of them are on the experimental serum, so their strength and reflexes are enhanced--Hesse is physically stronger and more experienced, while Helmstadt is younger and in better shape. Hesse briefly manages to lock Helmstadt out of the room the detonator is in (he keeps looking at his watch, then at a clock on the wall, to make sure he gives the group enough time to escape safely), but Helmstadt eventually breaks in the door, positively berserk with rage, and attacks again--Hesse tries taking the brunt of the blows to distract him from the detonator, which begins weakening him considerably. (The blows, not the detonator. Heh.) When Helmstadt compares his betrayal to that which led to Imperial Germany's defeat, Hesse loses his temper and, to his own surprise, yells, "There was no betrayal! No stab in the back! I was there, you were not. We simply lost!" He notices the time and makes a move for the detonator--Helmstadt prevents him from reaching it, but only temporarily, and he at last shoves down the plunger. A faint rumbling comes from far off, in both directions. "What have you done?" Helmstadt cries, and runs. Hesse sits by the detonator and listens with growing fear as the rumblings get closer and louder, bits of the icy ceiling and walls starting to crumble and fall around him. The rumblings quickly grow into a cascading roar. (Out in the passageway, Helmstadt sees the collapse heading his way and turns to run back, only to find it coming at him from that direction too.) Hesse looks up as a loud CRACK sounds from above; seeing the ceiling split open and then come plunging down at him, he shuts his eyes and whispers, "Sophie."

Outside, heading to the mountains' edge, the group hears a muffled boom, and they turn to look back. They watch silently as more booms sound to both sides, drawing closer to the center point where they left Hesse, puffs of snow rising into the air each time part of the Fortress collapses. When the final, midsection implodes, Inga and Addy cover their faces and weep, Addy murmuring, "Papa...Uncle Gunter." "I can't believe he actually did it," Lukas admits. After a pause, Gerhardt and Diamant urge them to keep going in case of avalanches, and they slowly make their way back down out of the mountains.

Earlier, while they were trying to get information on Ultima Thule and had established contact with the ground via a radiotelegraph system they found in the Fortress, several other allies and members of the former Diamond Network, including Gret, Schäfer, Senta, Volker, Holt, and Trudi Detzer (this last party, while not a core member of the Network, had a bit of knowledge about the project as an SS doctor she'd been involved with was active in its development), had gathered at the Dobermann estate to await news. At one point Schäfer stiffens and stares off into space; "What is it?" Holt asks, at which Schäfer says, "You didn't feel it?...the world trembled." He tries to brush it off as just his imagination, but the others share a look. A good while later, Gret, watching through binoculars, reports seeing the group returning--"Herr Dobermann isn't with them," she adds, ominously. When the group finally arrives, exhausted and discouraged, they confirm that while the project is almost certainly done with for good, Dobermann (and Hesse) gave his life to make it so. Schäfer and the help staff are devastated. After clearing up the final details, Inga and Addy decide to return to their new homes in the mountain town, for now leaving the estate as it is, in the hands of the Network which is still helping victims of the Nazis get back on their feet; Inga will make sure the staff continue to be paid and the property maintained, though she can't bear to stay there without Dobermann.

Addy and Gerhardt accept an offer from Schäfer to pay a brief visit to the city: "There's something I'd like you to see before you go." He leads them to the city square, the same location Hesse and Delbrück dueled in long ago. There's something that's new since Gerhardt's last time in the city, prior to its fall to the Allies: A statue, bearing the legend Wächter der Stadt--Watchman of the City. It's Dobermann, wearing the cap he once told Gerhardt was so symbolic yet meaningless. Enthralled, Addy returns to the estate and begs her mother to come see before she returns to the mountains; Inga is reluctant, but she goes. The sight of the memorial brings tears to her eyes. She'd intended to just quietly return to her new home and aside from paying the staff, leave all management of her husband's estate to the Network; but the statue sparks a memory, how Dobermann had also wanted to just be left in peace, to not get involved, yet had to, because of her. She arranges further charitable donations to the city, to help with the ongoing post-war cleanup, various victimized groups who need assistance, and the same hospital Dobermann had donated to following the Great War. The recipients of the donations are surprised--with Dobermann's death, they'd had no reason to expect any ongoing help--but Inga makes certain it's so, if only to keep her husband's legacy alive in some way. Once this is sorted out, everyone parts ways, and the Dobermanns and Gerhardt return to their new homes.

Despite Dobermann's own final request to "Look after her" (as perceptive as ever, he'd noticed the way Diamant and Inga acted around each other), Diamant never tells her of this, and decides it's for the best if he lets her go and they move on with their lives. He lives in the same town, at his new jewelry shop with Gret as his assistant, and says an occasional hallo when he and Inga happen to cross paths, but that's it. Lukas visits the town while taking an odd job (traumatized and missing his old itinerant life, he prefers to keep on the move) and berates Diamant for not following through; he goes to visit Inga himself, and tells her that it wasn't Hesse who lost hold of Dobermann, it was Diamant--and Dobermann had told him to look after her. Inga has long had feelings for Diamant, and he for her, but aside from the single kiss they shared years ago--which Diamant cut off, and Inga agonized over ever since--they never once acted on them--she wonders how Dobermann even guessed. She goes to visit Diamant, and the scene quoted above takes place. Inga then asks why he never told her about Dobermann's request.

Diamant: "I know. I believe you. And you still love him too. Life is complicated. Your husband was a good man. I'm sorry it took us all so long to see. Probably that was his intent, to protect you and Addy. Maybe he never could have truly understood you, or us, but he was a good man nonetheless."

Inga: "I know. I still miss him. I'm sorry...I thought I was ready for this."

Diamant: "It's all right. I...I can give you some space, if you need. You can stay in here and I can go to the den..."

Inga: "No. It's fine. Bitte, stay. You have far more reason to grieve than I do."

Diamant: "I don't see it that way. You lost your love; I still have mine."

Inga: "Yet you lost everything else you had, everything and everyone you knew. They even tried to make you lose yourself. My life has been comfort compared to yours. I had a visitor a while back. He called himself Lukas. Said he knew you, from the Network and from the camps. His eyes were so strange, brown and blue, and so tired and sad. He had numbers on his arm same as you. He told me what Louis had told you before he...before. He told you to look after me. Why did you never say anything? Why did you never come for me?"

Diamant: "I knew you weren't ready. And I don't believe I was, either."

Inga: "Would you have ever come for me? If Herr Lukas had never spoken up? I never would have known. I would have remained in your dreams only, forever."

Diamant: "You needed time to mourn. I'm not sure how long I should've waited. I didn't want to overstep. I'm wondering if I did, anyway."

Inga: "Of course you didn't. Bitte, I only just found you again, Josef. Don't go."

Diamant: "I'm not. I just...I'm not good at this. Never have been, but the past several years have made it even harder."

Inga: "You're doing fine, to me."

Diamant: "Even if the two of us understand each other...there's just a lot I'm not sure you can ever understand. No one can, unless you've been through it, too. I didn't mean to get into this. I'm sorry."

Inga: "It's all right. I don't mind. If you ever feel like telling me anything..."

Diamant: "This is just it. I'm not sure I could. Do you think that's something you could live with? Someone with a side they can never tell you about. Not really because I wish to hide it from you. But because for some things, there are just no words. At least, none I can think of."

Inga: "That was sort of the way things were between Louis and myself. Except I was the one without the words."

Diamant: "Ja, well...I'm not sure it's quite the same. Forget it for now. I always planned to come looking for you, I just...didn't know when. I guess I owe Lukas for that."

And that's where the writing leaves off, for now. Inga and Diamant become a couple, even though she never does fall completely out of love with Dobermann; I do believe he's her true love, which even Diamant acknowledges and accepts: "I know feelings like that don't simply die when one's love is gone."

I don't know yet if Gerhardt and Addy ever have any children, but whether he has heirs or not, Dobermann's best-known nickname, at least, lives on upon the statue down in the city square. He never fights in the second war, but dies a hero anyway.

I had him figured out COMPLETELY wrong all those decades. Sorry for doubting you, Dobey.

[Louis Dobermann 2022 [‎Friday, ‎October ‎28, ‎2022, ‏‎4:15:36 AM]]

[Louis Dobermann 2022 2 [Friday, ‎October ‎28, ‎2022, ‏‎4:15:45 AM]]