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sierrale8ne · 3 months ago

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40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER TWO

thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…

pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc

taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @ohbueckers @patscorner @wbbgetsmewetter @makethemhoesmad @authentic-girl03 @rosemariiaa

kalena speakss 🪽! wanted to give yall another chapter tonight since college is kicking my butt atm and idk when the next update will be. hopefully soon tho!

May 2025 — Los Angeles, California

“I just don’t see why you keep acting like our relationship doesn’t matter. I'm tired of acting like it doesn’t piss me off.” Julian spoke, disrupting the peace I had created for myself as I got dressed in the bathroom.

We were supposed to be getting ready for the Sparks home opener game against the Dallas Wings. I was exhausted from getting into LAX at an ungodly hour of the night, and now the conversation was giving me a headache.

“Ju, are we together?”

“Yes—”

“Did you ask me to be your girlfriend?” I turn around, slipping the mini gold hoops in my hand into my ears.

“No, but—”

I cut him off before he gets the chance to defend his position. “Then we’re not together.” I sigh. “I like where this is going, I really do, but we can’t keep having this conversation, Julian. I’m tired of it. This is just the way my career is working out right now.”

“So what? You make more money when the public thinks you’re single?” Julian asks. He’s very visibly frustrated, as he has been since before I even stepped off the stage in New York.

“No. I make more money when I keep the main thing the main thing. And right now the main thing is my music.” The words bounce off the wall for a moment, silence cutting through the air. I feel bad. He really is a great guy, and I hate to put him in a position like this, but it’s the way it has to be. “Ju’ come on. You have to understand where I’m coming from. I’m sorry.”

My hand reaches out for his shoulder, attempting to lessen the blow. Instead he steps back from me, shaking his head with a huff and leaving the bathroom.

“Have fun at the game, ‘Raye.” He speaks as he leaves, and it’s my turn to huff.

I turned around. Looking intently at my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

This is the closest thing I’ve had to a relationship in years, and yet, I’m spending the majority of it fighting over something dumb. But is it really dumb, or am I being insensitive?

I really do like Julian. He’s funny and sweet, he never fails to go out of his way to support me; I mean he just caught a flight to see me on Jimmy Fallon. He buys me flowers, he cares about communication, and all the little things. But for some reason I Just can’t keep up with it.

It sucks.

—

May 2025 — Crypto.com Arena, Los Angeles, California

The atmosphere in the arena is booming, and oddly enough I find myself surprised at how many people have filled Crypto. I’m seated courtside, underneath the basket nearest to The Sparks bench. The game is halfway through the first quarter and at a timeout when I take my seat.

I have on a burgundy leather set from Fashion Nova. The shirt is a cropped button up that I only fastened at the bottom button and matching shorts. I’m wearing a pair of matching burgundy Prada slingback pumps that my recent success has gratefully allowed me to purchase.

I sent a last minute text to my sister, telling her that Julian bailed and I would love it if she joined me, hence the slight tardiness.

I’ve never seen Cassie as excited as she is right now. She’s beaming with energy, you would’ve thought she’s been planning this for months rather than being invited last minute. She’s for sure more of a basketball fan than I am, I credit that to my uncle. Whereas my dad made me more of a football fan.

“You’re gonna be getting infinite Christmas gifts this year for this, oh my God.” Cassie jokes with a kool aid smile on her face. I giggle, brushing her off.

“I’m glad you’re having fun, Cassie.” I giggle, brushing her off playfully. My phone dings, and I pull it up from my lap to check the notification.

Hey I feel like shit about earlier

Talk when you get home?

It’s Julian. Of course it’s Julian. I try to fight the urge to frown but I can’t help the way the disheartened expression forms in my face. I shut my phone off, shaking the feeling off and turning back to the game.

The buzzer sounds, alerting us that the game is starting again. It allows me to finally bring my attention back to the game. The Sparks are down seven, but you couldn’t even tell that the fans were bothered by it.

“Jumbotron.” My sister whispers to me and I notice the camera moving past ‘celebrity row’ and getting shots of everyone.

“Bro.” I groan. I don’t hate it, it just gets so awkward. The camera man stays out there for too long and then I forget what to do with my hands.

But regardless, the camera approaches me and my sister. I look up briefly at the Jumbotron before back down at the camera in front of me. A smile spreads to my face and I wave emphatically. Fortunately it doesn’t take very long and the camera man backs away a little.

Only briefly though, because within a matter of seconds he’s crashing to the ground and his large camera falls into Casandra’s lap.

During all the basketball games I’ve ever watched, I’ve always wondered how common the players run into the media crew or the stands. And every time I've sat in an arena, I’ve always said it would never be me. So you can imagine my surprise when a 6 '1 Paige Bueckers fell right on me after getting fouled going for a layup, knocking over the camera man in the process.

“Oh shit, man you good?” Paige asks him. Her hand helps steady him on his feet and Cassie hands him his camera back, mumbling hurriedly if he was alright. The man nods, patting her on the back.

My eyes meet hers, and suddenly I’ve never seen a prettier set of eyes. A shade of blue that was indescribable. Her hand reaches out to the both of us, palms outstretched as she asks, “Are you guys okay?” It comes out as a stutter and I barely notice it but it’s there.

I nod. And then I remember she still has free throws to shoot. “Yeah. All good, thanks.” I smile. Paige turns around, brushing her teammates off with thumbs ups and high fives when they ask if she’s alright.

I would be an idiot to say that I wasn’t a little star struck. Sure, I wasn’t completely up to date with all things basketball, but I knew more than enough to know just how much Paige Bueckers was loved in the basketball community. Hell, the city of LA basically through a parade when they got that #1 overall pick.

She was a superstar, in all possible definitions of the word. You couldn’t go more than five minutes without seeing her face on TikTok or some commercial.

And she was stunning; the last five seconds of me staring at her confirmed it in my mind even more.

—

“Thanks, Holly.” I beam with a smile. It only takes a few seconds of me walking away from postgame to hear yelling in my ear and Cam’s long arms around my shoulders.

In the least cocky way possible, I played an amazing game. Yes, the defense I faced tonight was different than when I was at Connecticut and efficiency wise I did struggle a bit. Who am I kidding— I played phenomenal.

26 points 9 rebounds and 7 assists, the pick-and-roll with Dearica racking up many of those. The team came out with a narrow win over the Wings, getting our season off on the right foot.

“That’s my fuckin’ rook!” I hear Azura Stevens hype me up. I dap her up cleanly, the smile on my face physically impossible to get rid of. For only being on the team for a month, they did a great job of welcoming me with open arms.

I could definitely get used to this.

A towel hangs around my neck, picking up all the sweat from the game. I’m walking towards the locker rooms with a few of my teammates when I get pulled back for some autographs. I don’t say no, honestly I can’t remember the last time I refused to sign an autograph. Or if I ever did.

There’s a young girl in front of me alongside her mom. She has on the UConn National Championship shirt from a month ago, her eyes wide as she pushes my sparks jersey up to me. I sign it with a smile, my heart swelling in size when she squeals and thanks me profusely.

“You’re welcome. Thanks for coming out!” I grin. My feet carry me through a few more fans. I sign all sorts of memorabilia from hoodies, to jerseys, phone cases, and shoes. As well as a wild number of selfies before I hear my name.

“Paige, come here!” It’s Rickea, as her voice has become widely recognizable in the last month that I’ve been here. “Oh my God, walk slower!”

I roll my eyes as I pick up my pace. She’s standing courtside with her warmups on. “Finally. I wanted you to meet a friend of mine. Maraye, this is Paige.”

When I look over it’s the girl from the TV last night, standing there with her purse in hand and— oh my God I ran into her like an hour ago. I fell into her lap. Oh my God this is embarrassing.

She looks even more gorgeous than when I was drooling over her last night. Her hair is the same, from what I can remember, but her outfit is completely different. The color she has on is similar to the one from last night, but the set shows off so much more skin. Her legs are toned, the top she wears is unbuttoned just enough to give me a show of the lace black bralette under it, and her gold septum shines in the arena light.

“Hey.” I greeted her and the girl who sat next to her earlier in the night. “I do apologize about earlier by the way.”

“Don’t worry about it. It happens.” She reassures me.

“P, Cam, and I were watching the show last night. You did great, Raye.” Rickea pushes at Maraye’s shoulder. My eyes catch how she blushes in response.

“You on a world tour or something? New York last night, and LA tonight.” I joke, and she laughs. Her laugh is possibly more angelic than her singing, and the way her accent popped out when she spoke might even have an edge on that.

“Nah. I just couldn’t miss opening night. Kea’ would never let me live it down, plus my sister is like a huge hoops fan.” She explains, gesturing to the two women next to us.

I’m towering over her as I look at her but she still keeps eye contact with me. My eyes never leave hers, I didn’t even want them to.

“I was just telling her about Cam and Ben’s dinner party on friday.” Rickea starts. She turns to face me, but I’m still stuck on Maraye and her— well her everything. Rickea swats my arm as slyly as she can to get my attention. My eyes rip away from the musician with an incredulous force. “You are going to that, right?”

“I, uh, I’m not sure. I gotta check on when Drew and my dad are coming to town.”

“Maybe I’ll see you there then?” Maraye speaks.

Someone please help me figure out why her eyes are so mesmerizing. They’re big and a perfect shade of brown. The slight tilt of her head when she asks me nearly drives me crazy.

“Yeah maybe.” I nod before looking at Rickea. I don’t know how long we’ve stood here, but what I do know is that coach will hand our asses to us on a silver platter if we’re late to the first media session of the season. “Yo, we gotta…” My head tilts towards the tunnel.

“Oh shit you’re right. It was so good to see you guys!” She jumps, pulling Maraye and her sister into a group hug. “Tell y’all folks I say hi!”

The four of us exchange waves and we walk off the court. By the time we make it to the tunnel Rickea is letting out a loud cackle and pushing me away from her. “You’re not even trying to hide it!” She laughs. I know exactly what she’s talking about but I act clueless, it’s too early for my teammates to be ridiculing me over my choices in women.

“You are sooooo going to that dinner party.”

A smirk spreads on my face and I roll my eyes. For the first time all month, I can’t even disagree. Nothing is stopping me from going to that dinner party.

#sierrale8ne #kalena’s works �� ‧₊˚ 🍵 ⋅#paige bueckers #paige bueckers smut #paige bueckers x oc #uconn wbb #la sparks #lesbian #my fic #40 days and 40 nights

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tame-a-messenger · 8 months ago

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Ok I’m glad that we’re getting sword af again but I’m disappointed it’s audio only. Like is it bad that this announcement kinda ruined my day a bit? One of the things people like the most is seeing the cast interactions I mean a majority of the posts I’ve seen about sword af are about their interactions and reactions to things (and several posts about the seating arrangement for next season only to get no seating arrangement 😔). Also like I don’t really do podcasts. I can’t focus on audio only things for that long and (even though I’m definitely going to try to listen to season two) I don’t think I’m going to be able to listen to season two because I can’t focus that long when there’s no visuals. Everyone keeps saying budget is the reason for it to be only audio but smosh mouth and smosh Reddit stories are their podcasts but both of them have video too. Cut the video for smosh mouth if you have budget problems not the show where acting and reactions and interactions are so important. This is just going to hinder the sword af experience like I don’t understand why they did it?? I just can’t believe they delayed sword af season two for like 5 or 6 months only to make it audio only. I’m so sad that I’m probably not going to be able to enjoy season two as much because I’m not going to be able to get into it like I can when I can actually see everyone.

Also the wording really got me too like “rejoice!! 80% of what made sword af so good has been taken away!!! Hazzah!!!” Like wtf?! I keep seeing people saying we should be grateful we even get a season two and like yeah. I get that but also it’s going to be a completely different experience now and we have a right to be a little disappointed about that. Idk I’m just disappointed and a little upset but I’m going to give it a try and hopefully I’ll be able to enjoy it still

I’m happy it’s not dead in the water too, but at what cost?

Having it be audio only???? like how can you miss the point so badly??

THE FUCKING SEATING ARRANGEMENT POSTS IM GONNA CRY

I want to talk about the possible reasons they changed it to a podcast but I’m honestly too confused to even think of reason they would change it at all? Like it got similar views to most of the other content they put out at that time?? it wasn’t that different? And the community LOVED IT!

“Everyone keeps saying budget is the reason for it to be only audio but smosh mouth and smosh Reddit stories are their podcasts but both of them have video too“

(maybe not so much Reddit Stories because they make bank $ off those videos) BUT SMOSH MOUTH?? Like we could have had at the very least 1 steady cam pointed at them (or if we want the very least- a recording of them in a zoom call (I’m assuming the reason it’s going to be audio only is because they’re filming sessions at home through zoom/discord??) I would literally take that over no visuals

They said S2 was dropping Dec 10 2023 (holy fuck I went to fact check and they removed the release date off the end of the video..)(I’m pretty sure it was supposed to be sometime in Dec) then they pushed it back with no new release date- THEN THEY TAKE BACK THE VISUAL ASPECTS????? WTF

Thanks guys, really, thanks....

“the wording really got me too like “rejoice!! 80% of what made sword af so good has been taken away!!! Hazzah!!!”

Actually had me seething. I can’t believe they phrased it that way.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Sword AF. That’s exactly why I’m so pissed off about this whole debacle, they teased the FUCK out of S2 only to strip it down to the absolute bare bones.

I just don’t understand why they would do this.

#they really dont care about us huh?#crazy #smoshblr #smosh #smosh games #Sword AF #sword af season 2 #sword af s2 #pissed beyond belief

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girlactionfigure · 6 months ago

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MEORAV YERUSHALMI

LEE KERN

A few weeks back I met a girl and we got on famously and it was about as fine a mental dance as it’s possible to have as we grew hooked on each others minds. But because life is life - and life is always complicated - things didn’t pan out for reasons that wouldn’t stand out in the history of why things don’t work out for people that meet. So I was feeling mopey and also burned out from the war.

I’m by no means at the epicentre of suffering in this war but fighting for nine months - using my mind and emotions as my weapons - and having to be emotionally unguarded in order to be a good writer - takes its toll and I’ve been slowing down. It’s hard to shovel out the shit at the pace it goes in and there’s a huge backlog of sludge and slime. And who even has the time to deal with their shit when there’s a war on? I keep going because, even after nine months, there aren’t many people on the substitute bench. There’s only a handful of us doing this on instinct - without any support - and some have already dropped out.

So I was feeling burned out and mopey. For my own health I’d already pivoted my advocacy away from the bleakest stuff as I couldn’t breathe that atmosphere all the time. But I’d been asked to fly to London to help raise money for the rehabilitation of Kibbutz Be’eri which was among the worst hit on October 7th. On the train platform going to the event I felt my head and heart clogging up with that familiar sodden feel and I pulled my hat low as the moist eyed bullshit started and images of dead babies popped in. And walking to the theatre I was so down over the girl and had images of a person’s flesh burned off their head and the baked case of their skull exposed and white. And the bonhomie of those at the theatre and the excited performers happy to see me and calling me a “legend” jarred with my private feelings of wanting to be alone and cry with my melancholy. And that ain’t good. When you got emotions denser than gravity that pull you to the floor it’s time to break free of that bullshit and get off your arse. Move your body and hopefully your brain and heart will catch up. So when I landed back in Israel I decided to go to Jerusalem the following day for no more than to get a meorav yerushalmi. That was it. That was my mission. To eat my favourite meal consisting of chicken hearts, liver and spleen. Admittedly there’s not a very crowded marketplace of dishes consisting of chicken hearts, liver and spleen - but inasmuch as there is - it’s meorav yerushalmi for me.

So I walked to Hagana station. Last time I did this walk I was dropping off a friend at night. The streets that night were menacing and full of piss. But now, in the daytime, the streets were quiet and the urine smells had gone. It seems urine is nocturnal? The odours prowl at night. In the day the sun blitzes them invisible. A crazy man with beer shouted at me in Hebrew. I didn’t understand but gave him a military salute and he saluted me back and smiled. I managed to get on my train with the ease of someone becoming a local, as opposed to the first time I used public transport. Today’s mission to get a meorav yerushalmi was the beginning of a broader decision to try and have two weeks “holiday” away from war stuff so I could recharge and shovel out big chunks of crap. I was tired of being hijacked by sadness and tired of feeling like shit when well meaning people told me I had helped them and made them laugh. The juxtaposition of what others apparently got from me and what I was feeling inside was tough. I needed to help myself. I needed to laugh. And man, I’m so desperate for a laugh. True, holy laughter where your soul is cleansed in the total abandonment of all self.

I arrived at Jerusalem-Yitzhak Navon Station and a frummer was playing piano by the escalator. It was appropriately melancholy and sentimental. I left the station and there was immediate bustle. People were selling grapes and berries and a guy in tefillin was playing rock music. I got a coffee and sat on Jaffa street. A man was playing saxophone. There is music everywhere here. Even in the silences.

I walked to a place I’ve been before and got my meorav yerushalmi. The purpose of the trip. It was really average. But I never expected it to be an epiphany. Life hasn’t signed any contract with our dreams. Magic isn’t summoned on command. It comes when it wants to come.

I happened to meet a police officer whose job is to monitor incitement in the Arab sector. Those who do engage in incitement - like antisemites across the world - have learned how to code their racism and murderous intent so that it camouflages itself as being on the right side of the law. It’s an ongoing challenge. I can’t remember how but she brought up the guy who had his head cut off and which terrorists tried to sell in Gaza. His head was eventually recovered and buried with his body. My holiday was so far going great. Seriously for a moment…this is an insane world we are living in. We are modern people surrounded by mediaeval barbarians.

I then thought I’d pop into the Kotel that Jews have fought and suffered and striven to see for thousands of years - and which I can now casually stroll to in my shorts whilst sipping a coke.

I went through Jaffa Gate.

In the Jewish Quarter I saw a dead lizard on the floor whilst walking through the alleys towards the wall. It was belly up. Its stomach glittered with aquamarine beauty. Like dragon skin and sapphire-emeralds undersea. There were gloopy blue shades and peacock-coloured depths and shallows of light on its tiny, implausibly intricate body. Its belly was a disco ball of sky coloured mirrors and its tiny legs were open to the universe.

The sun was baking.

I got to the Kotel plaza. A man asked me to put on tefillin but I declined. I went to a spot on the wall and rested my head against it. But no feeling came. I was sterile and blank. I just stayed in that position. With my eyes shaded by stone. It was ok to be in darkness. Then music penetrated the emptiness and entered my ears. There was a bamitzvah close by. And when they sang a happy song I got emotional. Everything has been so far from happy for so long. Joy feels like a foreign land. It’s nice to hear a message from this distant country. It feels foreign, but happiness was a country where we once lived. It was our home. And that’s why I cried to hear. I’m so sad how far we are from home. Hearing my mother tongue, reminding me of the language of the old country, made me homesick. We can’t be refugees exiled from happiness forever. We have to remember the language. The map back home is inside us. The more we remind each other the more we remember.

The sun was baking.

I went and sat in the catacombs by the wall, writing these words as men davened around me. I don’t know how to live sometimes, but I know how to write. So I wrote. The dirge of voices mumbling in prayer becomes a hypnotic din. It’s quite relaxing. Maybe that’s what heaven sounds like. A womb like pulse of prayer you lose your self in.

I popped out of the moment and gathered my stuff to go. When you know it’s time to leave you know it’s time to leave.

I walked back to the Jerusalem Light Railway. Checking my phone I saw a message inviting me to a gig tonight which I declined. Also a voicemail from a number I don’t know asking me if I’m in the market for a shidduch. I didn’t answer. I wasn’t looking for these things today. I got on the train at Jerusalem-Yitzhak Navon Station. A group of older women were noshing on something and speaking in Hebrew. I don’t know what they were saying but they started laughing and it made me laugh.

Then a Muslim lady got on and asked me in Hebrew if it was the train to Tel Aviv. I told her I didn’t know and that my Hebrew was shit and she laughed. Then she and I made eye contact and laughed privately with each other across the aisle as the train filled up with tired, harassed and angry people having a balagan with each other. One young girl absolutely horrified that people wouldn’t move further down the carriage. Then two young soldier girls came on and they were laughing hysterically with each other about something and that made me laugh. Me and the muslim girl laughed again when we made eye contact. It wasn’t the Golden Laugh that cures all. But every laugh is a jewel that heals something, I guess, and I found them because I went in search of meorav yerushalmi when feeling gloomy.

Feeling gloomy over girls and massacres! How many times have we heard that story??!!

We’ve all been there!

And then we moved and My God the hills as the train pulled out. Once again those bloody hills.

Jerusalem don’t ever stop.

Some people call you crazy?

Then you are the perfect city for life - because life is crazy.

As the train glided past Ben Gurion I felt a bit better.

Today I visited the Temple where God is closest to earth. When I got back to Tel Aviv I bought some fabric conditioner so I could put a wash on when I got back home.

And that is a good day.

LEE KERN

JUL 5

#Israel #Jerusalem #LeeKern

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frostcorpsclub · 5 months ago

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25 and 40 for Suzy from the Weirdly Specific OC Questions meme 💙

25. What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot?

Art history! Her mother was one of those rich people who would have kept an artist around to commission lots of paintings and statues like in the renaissance if she could, she was an avid collector of art. Trips to the gallery and art auctions were some of the only times Suzy was on her best behavior so her mother would bring her! She was genuinely interested and it was the one positive of an otherwise toxic relationship so it’s something Suzy cherishes. Florian Althaus who I’ve mentioned minimally before, was Eloise’s affair partner and Suzy’s music/german teacher, he was an art collector by profession. So it has been a near constant in her life.

You may have seen me joke about Jack liking trash tv like “Pawn Stars,” this is really the only time her love of art history and antiques comes up. He loves the trash portion and she loves the treasure, giving him subtle clues so he has more fun making guesses about the items while thinking he deduced them himself.

It’s funny because people always ask what age gap couples have in common which is a fair question but Jack being so old and Suzy being so rich it kind of cancels out LOL

40. How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head?

I’m going to do you one better and also tell you how she’d respond to a handshake that’s too hard too, because something I’ve noticed is that some men (I’ve seen videos of women discussing it) will hurt a woman on purpose with their handshakes as a power move.

Loose and weak: It depends on what else she observes about the person but either way it isn’t good.

If a man shaking her hand is relatively young she would take a matronly stance, turning her nose up and explaining that this is something that simply must be fixed if he was going to make any good impressions in his industry. If he’s like a teenager/child level of young she gives him some grace, but the behavior still must be corrected.

If it’s an older and more important man she would probably keep it to herself as she understands social hierarchies of course, but it will affect the way she talks about him with others. She’d see him as feeble and nervous, she can smell his fear or his inadequacies and she won’t keep her mouth shut if someone asks for her opinions. Which people often do, her instincts may be petty and persnickety but sometimes they’re right.

She doesn’t usually shake hands with women but if she does it isn’t that big of a deal to hear, the other woman probably just isn’t used to doing it. Suzy would judge the fact she went in for a handshake at all over the quality of it, then again, why do it if you are going to fail at it!

Overcompensating: Now THIS is where she’s at her best hehehe

Suzy isn’t one of those pick me girls who agrees with everything a man says for attention and validation, even if she pretends to be to piss people off. She can pick out a man who’s overcompensating from a mile away. She contemplates them as the spider contemplates a fly in its web. If she has any say in the matter she will try to stick back and catch his eye, hide behind her fan and make herself small and demure, but also ensure there’s others around her. Hopefully other men who care for her.

When she finally goes in for the kill she gingerly places her hand in his at which point the man would squeeze like he was trying to break her hand. She lets out the most pathetic princessly yelp she can muster and looks at him with her mouth agape.

“Do you mean to beset me Sir?!”

She looks around to make sure people are watching.

“That is NOT a gentleman’s handshake!” (/ref)

You may think that a man doing that probably would feel good about hurting a woman but that’s not the point, she can give him the win of getting a reaction out of her in exchange for publicly humiliating him.

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shazzeaslightnovels · 2 years ago

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Danmachi 18

Author: Fujino Omori

Illustrator: Suzuhito Yasuda

Label: GA Bunko

Release Date: 21 January 2023

My Score: 5/5

English Release: Yen-press is currently releasing this series in English under the title of Is it Wrong to try to Pick up Girls in a Dungeon?.

Long-time readers of this blog might remember that I loved Danmachi volume 6. It was the volume that really got me into this series. Before that, I was enjoying myself but I didn’t see why it was so popular. But volume 6 was so exciting and I loved the idea of the War Game and it really made me excited to read more. Since then, I’ve waited for another War Game volume and it’s finally arrived! At the end of volume 17, Freya challenged the Hestia Familia to a War Game with Bell on the line. This volume deals with the fallout of that as people have remembered all about Bell and know what Freya did to their minds and are pissed about it and are joining the Hestia Familia in the War Game to take the Freya Familia down. But the prospects of winning this game aren’t very good. The Loki Familia are forbidden from participating by the guild who worry about the top two Familia destroying each other if they were to participate. Ganesha and Hermes Familia are also not able to participate for their own reasons. But pretty much all of the other Familia in Orario are participating to help Bell. Also, Bell is now a level 5 adventurer so that will help but, even then, his chances of beating Ottarl remain slim at best.

In order to try to level out the playing field, this War Game is one of Hide and Seek. The gods will hide and place a flower on their chests. If their flower is knocked off by an adventurer, that god and their Familia will be forced to leave the field. If Freya’s flower is knocked off, her Familia loses, but the Freya Familia will have to find all of the opponent gods in order to win. As Ganesha says, even this handicap will not be enough to truly level things out.

Lili has taken command and has formulated a plan thanks to Finn telling her everything he knows about the members of Freya Familia as a way to help without directly participating in the battle. But of course, Lili is up against top strategist Hedin so things aren’t going to go smoothly...

This is a good showcase of not only how far our heroes have come but also how far they have to go. Lili is now able to accept help and advice from others which boosts her abilities as a strategist and as a leader. Welf puts aside his hatred of his blood to create magic swords for everyone to use. Haruhime has more confidence. Cassandra no longer loses hope over her dreams. (Sorry, Mikoto fans, but she doesn’t get much to do here, I’m afraid.) Bell’s grown to Level 5 and trains with Tiona and Tione... but it’s still not enough. Freya Familia is just too good. And Hestia Familia is going to need nothing short of a miracle to win this one.

Lyu has this epic moment here that made me glad that I had read Astrea Record and watched Season IV of the anime. Having those events fresh in my mind made it all have more impact than I think it would have otherwise. While Astrea Record isn’t necessary to read to understand this volume, it does provide context of some things with Lyu and Ottarl and it does give some of those scenes more weight.

This volume was amazing and well worth the wait. There’s not a whole lot more that I can say without spoiling it but it’s a very satisfying conclusion to this arc. The volume is long but it’s so engaging that I didn’t really feel the length of it. The War Game was awesome and I loved seeing that character development for everyone. It surpassed all of my expectations and I loved it.

And thus this arc comes to a close and I’m interested to see what’s going to happen next. Judging by what was said in the afterword, I suspect the next arc will be shorter and hopefully more lighthearted. I think Lili will definitely get a level up next volume and I suspect Haruhime and/or Welf might as well. Mikoto didn’t get much of a chance to shine in this volume so I doubt she will. For now though, I have the two new volumes of Sword Oratoria waiting for me to get to and I’m really looking forward to reading them.

#danmachi #fujino omori #Suzuhito Yasuda #ga bunko #2023 releases #5 stars #march 2023 #Favorite volumes

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jodilin65 · 34 years ago

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THURSDAY, JANUARY 31, 1991 God, I am so tired. I fell asleep at 9:00 and sure enough, I woke up at 1:00 after sleeping 4 hours. I woke up sneezing and blowing my nose. My lungs don’t feel bad and I’d rather wake up to sneeze and blow my nose rather than coughing and wheezing.

Andy came over saying he thinks he may be catching a cold and I hope that doesn’t worsen mine cuz you know how weak my immune system is.

I need to try to quit smoking again soon and also go see Dr. McGovern. I need more Theodur and I guess I’ll also discuss allergy shots. I wish I could do the natural cure by quitting smoking permanently!

Russ called tonight sounding sincere again saying he’d really like to resolve our dispute. I told him once again that if he’s willing to drop it, I’ll drop it and that I surely do not plan to live here forever. I also told him that for the last 3 days, it hasn’t been bad in here cuz it’s been a little warmer outside, but as soon as it gets bitter cold out, it gets cold in here. I reminded him again that I, and the other tenants, wouldn’t complain for no reason and hopefully it sank in this time and he’ll give up on his spite tricks. But as long as he’s gonna push the eviction, I’m gonna push small claims court. If anything, he owes me money that I’ve paid for the heat that was supposed to be included in my rent that I never got.

Boy, is it ever windy out now. It sounds like someone’s screaming.

I really do need to try and go back to sleep, so first I’ll make coffee, smoke a butt, listen to a little music, and then I should be more than ready.

Tomorrow I’ve got to go to Food Fart.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 30, 1991 Andy better hurry up. His show starts at 1:00. If he’s not here, I’ll record it. He’s supposedly coming over with

Later…

I was interrupted before cuz the phone rang and two seconds before Andy’s show came on he walked in. His show wasn’t on anyway cuz of the Gulf War update. He was pissed and I don’t blame him cuz that’s what the news hour is for. They shouldn’t keep interrupting the shows. News belongs on the news.

He’ll be here for 6 hours editing his tapes.

I got a call from Martha and I am going to see her later at 4:00.

Later…

I’m glad I went to therapy after all. I got a lot of shit off my chest. We basically discussed how I view myself and how others view me. I told her how and why I thought I was a quality person who may appear goofy and playful but is mature and good at knowing other people’s characters. We talked about how there are many types of people that I dislike, but I still understand why they’re the way they are.

I also discussed how I get the types that are loud, obnoxious and desperate or the geeky shy types that can’t speak for themselves and aren’t firm enough when they need to be. I told her I need someone more outspoken and loving and understanding, yet as rough and as tough as they need to be.

My sister called. I told her if worse came to worse she could check out apartments for me.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 29, 1991 Yesterday I woke up feeling like shit. I was really congested. I took my asthma pill and some Dimetapp and Brenda gave me some Anthramycin which is an antibiotic. As long as I eat a little before taking it, it doesn’t play with my stomach.

Yesterday I woke up at 7:30am. Today I woke up at 6am. Nice, huh? Now wait till I have to perform this Friday night. But my point is that even though I woke up with a coughing fit after I’d slept 4 hours like I usually do, I woke up later feeling great! The antibiotic really helped with my congestion. I haven’t sneezed yet and haven’t blown my nose 5,000 times.

I’ve had half a cigarette though and I’m gonna do the 2-3 a day thing rather than 5-6 to really lower my nicotine level and try quitting again. Kim offered me 5 bucks a day if I quit. That does make it more encouraging, besides the idea of being able to breathe and sing without clearing my throat or sneezing.

Speaking of my voice, God is it really developing! I’m really getting to be quite a good singer. It gets more and more brilliant and vibrant.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 27, 1991 Russ came over yesterday before noon. He asked me to write down every time it got cold and what the temperature was after putting a thermometer in each room.

He told me he was prepared for the judge to allow me to stay until October but that he hoped it wouldn’t come down to court. There’s nothing solid or valid he could do or say in court, and I told him I would move when I’m ready to move.

Tomorrow, I’m going to call legal aid.

Later…

I was over at Brenda and Bonny’s place and I played them the edits I made early this morning. They’re not bad. I gave Bonny this T-shirt she liked and she gave me a denim mini-skirt. She also gave me little bulletin boards in the shape of the letters L and R. L and R can stand for Linda Ronstadt.

Kim will be here any moment for a sign language lesson.

Lisa, the girl I met at the Pub said she’s home all the time. Well, she must have her ringer off if she did give me the right number cuz I tried 4 times and there’s no answer. She’ll have to call me.

I’m starting to get a little tired. I hope Bill’s not here too long. Also, Andy needs to bring over my videotape along with his so I can record his show.

Later…

I’ve had a great day today. Bonny and I have gotten to be pretty good friends. “It’s better than fighting,” like she said.

Andy and I had a nice visit although the woman he’s renting from is really treating him like shit. He’s moving back in with his parents by Valentine’s Day.

Bill, Andy and I had a nice talk, and I played them my new edition of the edits.

I’m beat cuz I’ve been up since 2am, so I should sleep quite well. I just hope that none of these fucking street animals wake me up.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 26, 1991 Andy and I performed tonight. Neither of us won, but it was fun just the same. The audience and the judges didn’t dislike us, but we both felt we were nothing special and could’ve been better.

It amazes me how many people I know. People came up to me before the show and talked to me that I didn’t even know that knew me from previous shows. This one guy remembered when I signed and said that was “fierce.” I saw tons of people I knew who complimented me after the show and I was also complimented by people I didn’t know. Raven was there along with Emie, Loopie, Candy, Jasmine, Miles, W.C., Scott, Rachel, Dedra and at least 20 or more other people I know.

I met this incredibly feminine girl named Lisa who gave me her number if it’s the right one. I wasn’t too impressed with her hair which was short on top and spiked with a long tail in the back. Her body and her face were beautiful, though. She’s not bi either, she’s just gay.

Last year, though, I would really be into her and meeting others. I used to be so eager. Now my heart’s just not in it like it used to be. There’s still a great part of me saying, “All I want now is to be alone and I’m not even quite ready yet for a one-night stand.”

I saw 3 other girls who were even more gorgeous, and yes, I would do a one-nighter with them right away (one at a time, of course). One was straight, as usual. The other 2 were a couple, also as usual. They were so feminine, though, and each one had such nice long dark hair.

Also, I chatted with the cops.

Later…

I broke down in tears thinking about this shit with Russ and finally said to myself that I was going to put an end to this either the easy way or the hard way. So I called Russ and asked to speak to him. He said sure and sounded very friendly and sincere. I figured he’d more or less have nothing to say to me.

Anyway, I said to him, “How can you be so cruel and vindictive when you never were before? You’ve done me favors such as not having me pay last month’s rent and got me movers. So why are you so eager to see me out on the streets when you know I have nothing, no money, no family and nowhere to go? I have never hurt anyone or anything and I don’t know what you can say in court or if this is a tax-related thing or what. You even said so yourself that it would get cold in here when it got bitter cold outside and you know there have been several other tenants complaining. If you’d stop putting temperature recorders in here that say it’s a temperature it’s not, then I’ll forget about taking legal action if you’re willing to drop this and turn up the heat.”

He sounded friendly, as I said, and said he’d like to stop up and see me sometime before noon. I’ve no idea what he’s planning, but I’ll write about it once I know.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 1991 Shadow’s climbing all over me. I swear this cat is so affectionate and loving. He follows me everywhere. I should’ve named him Glue instead. Earlier I was running around the living room with him. We have several games we play.

I spoke to Andy a little while ago for the second time. I told him I’d record his show for him on one of my tapes.

The reason I’ve been sleeping during the day, which of course is never hard to do, is cuz as I mentioned before, Andy and I are performing at the Pub a noche.

Andy told me another bizarre thing. First, let me back up and mention Angie. I don’t think I did mention her. A while back, not even a month ago, we went to the Pub and I eyed this girl, she seemed prettier than usual and had Andy speak to her for me. When he came back to where I was sitting he said she was a rude bitch. He said she said, “Well, after I dump this asshole I’ll think about it.”

She was with another girl. Angie was totally smashed and the next part of the story will tell you so.

As Andy and I were leaving at closing time, we walked by Angie and her girlfriend and Andy goes, “Now, here’s the better-looking girl,” and she saw me and insisted I come back to the bar. She hadn’t seen what I looked like till then.

Now here’s the sad but typical part. Especially for a bar person and a fairly good-looking one. She screamed out so the whole bar could hear, “Will you lick my pussy?” Then she did the usual trick people do and gave me the wrong phone number.

What’s bizarre is that Andy was cutting through this Laundromat to his mother’s store that I’ve been to before, and it turns out Angie works there. That Laundromat is a dump. I used to go there when I lived on Oswego St.

He said he said her name to be sure and she said, “Yeah, I’m Angie. How’d you know?”

Then Andy told her, “You don’t want to know.” Andy said she had no makeup on and looked tired.

He also said that maybe God sent him to walk through there to find out where she works so I can take it from there.

I definitely don’t want a relationship nowadays with even the right person. I just wanna have fun here and there, but not with just anyone. Right now what’s most important to me and mainly on my mind is having what I’ve never had in my entire 25 years of life. Sex with someone I’m really sexually attracted to and turned on by if only for a night. I’d rather have a few one-nighters here and there even if it’s only 5 a year with someone I’m attracted to, rather than get serious with someone who doesn’t really matter.

Later…

I went through all my journals and I’ve kept journals for 3 years and 3 months now. I went through each one and wrote the entry dates on the covers. I guess that’s gonna be my new thing. I’ve written 360 days of the 3 years and 3 months’ time. On the cover of each book I wrote the month and then each day of that month that I wrote.

I think I’m gonna go lay down. It’s fucking freezing in here! That little fuck of a bastard landlord of mine. Boy, do I ever want to hound the shit out of him!

Later…

The housing people are coming on Monday and I called Mom who was being her usual bitchy self and asked if she’s heard from him, which I doubted, and she hasn’t. This shit Russ is pulling is definitely tax-related as well as to raise the rent when I’m gone. But I’m gonna be here for a while, and if Russ keeps this shit up, it’s gonna cost him more money than a profit.

A few years ago when Nellie and José pulled their crap on me by ripping me off, I brought up charges and was able to drop them over the phone after being paid back by Nellie. Well, I just tried that by calling the courthouse saying I was Jenny and it didn’t work but all is still well cuz I’m not going to court.

I will not give Jenny the satisfaction of showing up for a lousy slew of prank phone calls. Jenny got exactly what she deserved and I know lots of other people have done the same.

I haven’t heard from John R since he got fired from Mercy Hospital.

I tried calling the Laundromat where Angie works and no one’s there now but this retard janitor. Guess they don’t open till 10:00. I’ll try again soon.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 1991 When I finally fell asleep I’d been up for 20 hours. I awoke at 8:30 this morning. I’m surprised I didn’t sleep longer since I couldn’t fall asleep till 4:00 this afternoon.

I called Community Care and left a message for Martha saying I wouldn’t be back. I figure how am I ever going to learn how to suppress my feelings and be independent if I continue therapy? Yes I know I’m already what most people would call mega-independent for a girl my age especially. All except for my source of income. I’m not gonna get into my income except to say yes, I’d much rather earn it by singing and someday I will but for now, I do not feel guilty. The state owes me. They fucked me over. And over. And over.

Although I’ve known all my life that being a famous singer was destined, I also knew it wouldn’t come young. I figured I’d be between the ages of 30-32. I knew it’d be fast once it all started. That may be why it’s not coming till 30-32 rather than now.

Also, I knew that the Gods had lots of learning experiences for me and survival tests lined up for me and boy have I now had 5 lifetimes of that! However, I am grateful to have learned some of the things I’ve learned. What you don’t know can hurt you or severely frustrate you or raise false hopes for you.

I am surprised Andy and Fran haven’t tried calling. Also, there was no message on the machine from Brenda.

Later…

I am going to try to stay up till 9:00 when the Western Mass legal aid office opens. I need to speak to a legal intern who’s got some advice for me. I don’t know if I wrote about it yet, but Russ is being a prick by trying to evict me. I know it’s cuz I’ve been demanding the heat that I pay for in my rent that I haven’t gotten along with several other tenants. This may also be for tax purposes or to get people out so he can raise the rent. My parents and Tammy are pissed at him and Dad referred me to Legal Aid. The little fuck, though, wouldn’t speak to me or Tammy and never called Dad back. He refuses to give me a reason while he told Andy it was cuz I didn’t like the neighborhood so I can move out. I was in the ER at the time so he handed the notice to Andy.

I went down to the housing court and the woman there said that cuz I pay on the 1st, he can’t evict me till February 9th. He gave me a 30-day notice on January 9th, but by law, the little fuck can’t do shit till March 1st. Hopefully, Russ will hurry up and take me to court so I can sue him there and try and get rent back payments for the months I froze my ass off. That’s probably what that Wendy at Legal Aid will tell me to do. I mean, what the fuck does this prick expect to say or do in court other than make a spectacle out of himself. Steve says the jackass will drop it. Bullshit. I know how people are. When they start trouble they start trouble but this little fuck obviously doesn’t realize he’s fucking with the wrong girl.

Same with Jenny C. Court on March 6th! HA! Jenny got exactly what she deserved, so she’s going to have to enjoy going to court herself cuz I sure as hell won’t be there.

Later…

Me and Andy are performing at the Pub this Friday night. He’s gonna do If I Were You by Stevie Nicks and I’m gonna do Words Get in the Way by Gloria.

Speaking of Gloria, she’s got a new album due to come out in 5 days. I hope there are some songs in Spanish on it. I wish I could’ve gotten that album with a lot of her songs in Spanish on it including Words Get in the Way (No Me Vuelvo a Enamorar). It would be better to do the Spanish version for the contest. I’ll need to order that album.

Brenda gave me 2 ciggies so now that’ll make 7. I’m really gonna pay for this. God, please don’t let me have a bad attack till I can once again get up the will to try and quit again.

Ok, time to move me, my coffee and my phone to the bedroom where I’m nice and comfortable.

Later…

I woke up feeling fairly good. I slept with my humidifier on.

Little fuck Fran’s up to his shit again. I woke up to a message from his neighbor Debbie accusing me of saying I’m gonna hurt her 2-year-old daughter and that Fran got a call from DES. I then had to explain to her how long I’ve known Fran and how little she knew him and that she had quite a bit to learn. This poor girl was terrified and I assured her no threats were made. Fran got her all worked up and it’s obviously a rejection issue or the fact that Fran had a horrendously lousy day. Debbie said I sounded sincere and I told her not to worry about Fran’s BS and not to let it get to her. I also told her to tell Fran that not only is he not welcome here anymore, but he’s not welcome to call me either. Between the shit Fran pulled with my mother along with other stuff and now this, that’s the final straw and I don’t need him.

Andy left a message about returning the videotape of his so I can record his soap. I called over where he lives and Gail says he’s not there. I also called over at Brenda’s, assuming he’d be there, but there was no answer.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23, 1991 I have therapy today yet I don’t know how the hell I’m going to get there. I slept till almost 8:00 last night.

Andy came over last night and once again things are fairly good between us now that we’re not living together. See, when you have a fight with someone over the phone, you can just hang up on them. It’s not that simple when you’re living with someone.

Since Sunday I’ve been having 2-3 cigarettes a day and it’s catching up to me so I’ve got to be careful again. My back pain’s back and I’m waking up coughing again.

MONDAY, JANUARY 21, 1991 Yesterday my niece Lisa turned 8.

The day before yesterday I had about 4 cigarettes. I was terrified to go to bed thinking I’d wake up with a wicked bad attack, but I woke up fine. In fact, I feel better than I have in a long time. My nose and lungs are clearer and I’m not tight in the chest and there’s no back pain. Today I’ve had only one, but I could really go for one now.

Later…

Right after I last wrote, Jimmy gave me a cigarette which was my second. I fell asleep at 9:00 this morning figuring it’d be easy to get up at 1pm cuz I’d slept so many hours the day before. How wrong I was. I was dead tired. I didn’t get up until a few minutes before 4:00 when Bill rang the buzzer. I remained tired ever since but at least I got my grocery shopping done. I want to do more laundry tonight but I’m too beat. Last night I did two loads from around 12:30-2:30 AM. It was quite convenient as I’m a night person and knowing no one would be using the machines.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 19, 1991 Sure enough, I fucking woke up hacking my brains out about an hour ago. I had fallen asleep right after I last wrote. I definitely have a cold. No doubt about it as I can really feel it now.

Andy said that even when I feel I’ve kicked the smoking habit, I’ll still have urges. Of course, I know I will every so often and Andy’s been supportive but I think he’s starting to get jealous somewhat. God knows he’s very capable of that too, as I’ve seen him display jealousy before. It’s ok to feel a little jealous of someone now and then but it depends on how you handle that jealousy. Andy has quit before for 10 days two different times. Depending on the situation, I sometimes will look at a glass of water as being either half full or half empty. Andy will always see it as half empty.

Well, the street animals are out playing musical horns as usual.

Thank fucking God Andy will be here in less than 12 hours!

Later…

I wish to hell I could go back to sleep for a while. I have a lot of shit I need to do today and I want to sleep tomorrow night to be awake for Sunday’s voice lesson.

I started to get really pissed off with my urge to smoke. Even though they’re not intense, they’re still pretty frequent and I know it’ll be this way forever. The thought of always craving a cigarette pissed me off to the point where I held one and stared at it. I told myself if I smoked it, I’d have a severe attack which is true. I told myself I didn’t want to ever have to go to the ER again and be within inches of death 24 hours a day and in so much constant pain that I WISHED I were dead. I also thought of my singing. Yes, craving one is a better way of suffering, but it’s going to suck just the same. Since I do not drink or do drugs, it’s hard not having something of some kind to do, and watching others smoke.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 18, 1991 If I’m such a cruel nasty bitch who has so many bad points and not too much good, as people like to tell me, then why do people bother with me? Why not go find someone like themselves? I’m sorry but I just don’t feel guilty or selfish cuz I want to live alone. Or be myself.

I haven’t talked with Steve or Jessie for the longest time. I’m not good enough for them. That’s how I feel. I can’t help but always feel that with everyone even though I know I have good qualities. If I dump all my friends I won’t have to worry about communication and being misunderstood. Or feeling like I’m not good enough or a burden to them. People can be so contradicting, too. They play with my head. I’ll say something in which they’ll say they agree with 100%, then the next day they’ll use it against me and play me for a fool. Like, “How dare you say that Jodi!” But yesterday they agreed with and fully understood what I said. I’m no longer gonna be made to feel ashamed, foolish or guilty about the way I feel about things. The way I feel is the way I feel and who and what I am is who and what I am. Not what others want me to be, say, act or feel.

Later…

The little wimpett is going to start moving today and be out by tomorrow. I’m counting down the minutes.

Another reason I haven’t spoken to Steve is, that I’m tired of the “Andy said” bullshit. It puts me on the spot when I’m all of a sudden hit with something Andy said. Then I have to defend myself and explain something he made up or twisted around to make them dislike me or misunderstand me. He loves to turn people against me and he’s dropped plenty of hints that he’s had some pretty long and heavy-duty talks with his friend Adam concerning me. With many others, too. If you typed up all he’s ever said to people about me, he’d have a 3” thick book. Of course, in the long run, as far as Andy thinks, he’s 95% right and I’m 95% wrong.

Later…

Tomorrow Mr. Melodramatic is out of here. Thank fucking God! I can’t wait to have this place back to myself. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here but God only knows I’m counting down the minutes till Mr. Antic is out of here.

It shocks the shit out of me to say that as of 1am tonight, it’ll be 5 days, going on 6, since I last smoked. Amazing, huh? Not that I’m not getting urges here and there. I am. But the urges are very brief and 5 days is fantastic seeing that the longest I’ve ever made it before was just a tad over 2 days. My back pain is gone. And I am no longer so severely short of breath. I’m still a little tight in the chest, though, and a little wheezy and still coughing and sneezing some. Besides having bad withdrawal I also have a cold. The cold is subsiding much quicker than it would’ve if I smoked still. It’ll be really nice to only have a cold for 4 days out of a year rather than 300 days out of a year.

Later…

Jesus, I’ve been up for 22 hours! When am I gonna fall asleep? I think part of it is cuz I’m so psyched for Andy to get the fuck out tomorrow morning. Wait till the people he rents from finds out he doesn’t do chores and he breaks things. Or tries to when he isn’t getting his way. Wait till he himself finds out our friendship is over.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 17, 1991 Well, in an hour I’ll have gone 72 hours without smoking. The reality of it all still hasn’t quite hit me, but everything’s gone just as I predicted. Just like with the Navane and other things I’ve predicted how, why and when they’d happen. Some predictions, for example, with the Navane and smoking I predicted 3 or 4 years before it happened. Before I quit, I mean. I could see how it was gonna happen too, and why.

Later…

Am I ever psyched for Andy to get the hell out! He’s supposed to move this Saturday to rent a room on Dickinson. Yeah sure, but I’m like, get this wacko outa here! Andy never really was a true friend. Not in all ways, but in some ways. The reason I’m running around calling him a liar about this and that so much lately is cuz he’s done it so much to me. He can’t take his best friend’s word for anything so now he’s seeing how he likes it. Why would I, or any other 25-year-old need to lie? I’m not a child who has to fear punishment if the truth is told.

I cannot wait till he’s outa here and I will never ever let myself get into this situation again. I, of course, should’ve known better with a person like Andy. Or his type. Andy just freaks over anything and everything. I know plenty of other people who I have much less in common with but could live with them so much easier. However, I never will live with anyone again. That’s how I felt before Andy moved in so I sure as hell won’t change my mind about that now. He has lived here for almost a month.

Later…

The last sentence got cut off cuz Andy and I started talking. We also played the piano and sang. I still say, though, that yes he has a lot of good qualities, and yes we have a lot in common, but God he can be an asshole!

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 16, 1991 While I’m waiting for Martha I can tell you how well I woke up. It was 5am and fucking Andy asked me to wake him up at 7:00. I told him to set his alarm in case I fell asleep and I did. I then woke up briefly at 9am. The next thing I know, the little fuck is saying, “Hey! Hey! Don’t you have an appointment?”

It was 1:15 PM and my alarm had another 45 minutes to go. I wanted to kill him! Then the little fuck goes, “Thanks for waking me up.”

I told him it’s not my fucking responsibility to get him up. I also set his alarm and he said it didn’t work so he took his anger and frustration out on me by waking me up. Then the immature brat plays the answering machine messages back loudly, stomps his feet and sings at the top of his lungs. Is this guy ever going to grow up?

His favorite show had 20 more minutes to go when he left, and I had had it with his bullshit, so I stopped the VCR from recording.

He’s got two days to get the fuck out.

As for the good news and yes, believe it or not, there is good news. Very, very, very good news. I have not smoked since January 14th!!! No, I do not feel like I want one!!!!!

Later…

I let it all out in therapy today. About how despite the fact that there’s a lot of good in Andy, he’s also an immature, spiteful, selfish little boy who only will hear what he wants to hear. And how he’s got to either condemn or make someone miserable in some way when things in life aren’t going the way he wants.

He’s over crying on Brenda and Bonny’s shoulder now as he’s not man enough to face me. Like last night when he said how his mother said it was wrong for him to go to Brenda. I simply said, “Andy, you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do, believe what you want to believe, say what you want to say, and hear what you want to hear.”

He’s a wimp and even though he’s turned Brenda, Bonny and Steve against me, I know they’re really fed up with him crying on their shoulders and needing a babysitter. Of course, God help someone if they should be upset or sick and go cry on HIS shoulder.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 13, 1991 Well, I’m still feeling like shit, unfortunately. There’s no feeling worse than wanting to pick yourself up, be happy, be productive, but you just can’t. My asthma’s killing me and I’m still under mega-stress. Way more so than I’ve been in a long time. I mean, this has got to stop, but I feel helpless. Like I don’t know where to begin to help myself. It just isn’t always easy. I miss those days when I was productive non-stop and could physically bounce off the walls for endless hours. I was a dancer. Now I take two steps and my heart’s racing or I’m wheezing or both. I wanted to kill myself for getting so out of breath with only two bags of groceries to carry up. Two years ago I could’ve run up those stairs 20 times.

I still can’t stand having Andy here. Even if I lived with Brenda I’d go nuts, even though she’d be easier to live with cuz she’s more easygoing and calm compared to Andy.

Andy looked at a room on Mulberry St., but I’m afraid he’ll be here much longer than I can stand. Andy and I will remain friends, but I may move to CT since there’s nothing for me here and Andy and I will save money and then maybe move to PHX.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 9, 1991 It started to snow a few hours ago so I was off by one day but that’s still close.

Right now I’m listening to Andy, Fran, Tracy and Raven make prank phone calls. Raven was in the lip sync contest and never won. She was a pitiful drag queen and literally froze on stage, but seems to be a nice person. Fran’s taken him in for a month till he gets a job. Well, like Tracy said, Fran’s good for taking people off the streets.

Last night was a hell of a night. I had a severe migraine and was crying for hours in bed till I finally threw up twice. Of course, Andy didn’t give a fuck and I knew it so I held it in and suppressed the urge to scream out. I needed someone so badly last night. Well, I had to puke instead cuz Andy would’ve freaked if I woke him up. Plus, he’d rather make me feel worse than better. I get shit on whether I speak positive or negative about myself. The guy who’s supposed to be my best friend’s busy turning my friends against me and constantly talking shit to Brenda, Bonny, Steve, you name it. He said, both to me and others, more negative shit about me than positive.

I’ll write more later since all I have to talk to is this book unless I hold it in till I puke. But puking is better than trashing things, though I can’t believe I didn’t. Reaching out to people and communicating with them only gets me in trouble and misunderstood so I’d rather puke and lose weight.

MONDAY, JANUARY 7, 1991 Well, it didn’t snow today like I felt it would, but they say it may snow Wednesday.

I met this really nice nurse named Kim at Baystate ER. She’s super nice, open-minded, and the type you feel you’ve known for years the second you meet her.

She was on her way home when I was standing outside the ER entrance when I saw The Joy of Signing book in her hand and we took it from there. It turns out that we have a lot in common and I’m giving her sign language lessons. We’ve met 3 times so far and today she took me to Valley’s for baked stuffed shrimp in exchange for me to teach her sign language. However, she really is doing me a favor too, by giving me a chance to use my sign language and to keep on top of it.

Later…

From now on I must learn to be my own therapist. I shall try to discuss as much as I can about my feelings with myself or write them in this book. I always admired myself for being able to speak my mind but now I find it’s better to keep my mouth shut most of the time. Communication only starts fights and arguments. People often misunderstand the things I say and do and take me the wrong way so what’s the use? I’m gonna just start going along with as much as I can except for things like sex with an ugly woman or a man. I want to learn to talk less and be able to cheer my own self up when I’m depressed or sick as independently as I can.

I’m really proud of myself for last night. I had a massive asthma attack and I was terrified. I mean fucking terrified. I was crying tears like a leaky faucet, but I didn’t wimp out to anyone. I was about to dial 911 and say, “Look, it’s been hours that I’ve been trying to fight this off and I just can’t.” Yet even after being told at the ER what a risk it is to your heart and in other ways, I beat it on my own.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 5, 1991 I just took some decongestant medicine Brenda gave me and I'm so drowsy now.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 1, 1991 Age 25

New Year’s Eve sucked. First of all, Jimmy, downstairs, and I made a big mistake of picking up Fran and bringing him over. Fran embarrassed the shit out of Jimmy who had Mike and Lisa over. Mike and Lisa live next door in #11. Jimmy’s in #10 directly below me. He’s getting evicted which sucks. He turned out to be an ok neighbor. With my luck, some jackass will move in who’s the type that’ll freak if I have the stereo on the lowest volume.

Fran was drunk off his ass. He couldn’t stop playing with my hair, slapping me and Andy on our heads and he fucking raided the kitchen as if he hasn’t eaten in years. He’s not ever again coming over here.

Tracy was over tonight. She lost a lot of weight.

Andy and I had a huge fight and we shoved each other. Much later when we were calm we laughed about it, admitting we were glad we shoved each other to get our frustrations out.

I really do hate having a roommate and I explained to him that it’s gonna take some serious getting used to and adjusting. I’ve been alone so long and I do prefer it that way. 3 years or so ago I’d have jumped at the thought of having a roommate, but as I’ve gotten older, my desires have changed. Just like I really don’t care to be with a woman or to have a baby anymore. I do want to very occasionally have casual sex, but not with just anyone. I really wish someday I could have one night, just one night, with a woman I’m attracted to and I feel that spark with, rather than a woman who’s just ok. I know it won’t happen, though, and I accepted that a long time ago. Well, like I always said, better to fantasize about first best, rather than to settle for second best. Another reason that’s better about fantasy is that if the relationship is getting rocky, you can simply click it off and out of your mind. You certainly can’t do this in a real-life relationship.

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ccfever · 7 months ago

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do you find some of the commentary around CC's first pro games to be kind of condescending? People keep saying she's making a lot of mistakes but she's gonna be "fine". I feel that within the context of her team, coach and attention she's recieving from defenders, she's performed exceptionally well. But I guess it's taboo to mention those things when asessing her performance?

i feel like those people either don’t watch the games or don’t see the same things we do, which is fine. i think the “she’s gonna be fine” crowd is mostly speaking up against the people who are calling her a straight-up bust. they mean well and i agree with them. the discourse has turned out like this mostly because of the people expecting cc to drop 30 ppg like she did in college in her rookie year. now people are looking for 30 ppg and not finding it, so the response for some is “she’ll be fine”, she’ll make mistakes, give her some time, etc.

i do agree that the focus of the conversation shouldn’t be what it has been for the past week. they’ve been talking about:

players should stop the hard fouls against caitlin

players shouldn’t be physical with caitlin

everyone should treat her differently because of a variety of reasons that has nothing to do with basketball

she should put on weight to match the physicality of the league

of course there’s the “WELCOME TO PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL HAHAHA” crowd but i think they’re kinda silly and they’re feeling vindicated so i’ll just leave them be

to me the discourse should be:

a fucking rookie is getting double teamed at half court

cc has been playing some good defense lately 👀 compared to her college years

her numbers have gone back down to earth but show me a rookie that had 22 pts, 6 rebs, and 8 asts yesterday

yes she should put on weight but that comes with time + offseason. athletes can’t just change their body.. even during the offseason because that can mess with how they play the game... especially gaining weight/muscle, it changes the way you move plus a bunch of other stuff idk the specifics of bc i’m not a sports medicine person. so yeah she’s just gonna have to maintain what she has right now and so far it’s not like she’s getting absolutely bodied (yes the stewie clip exists why don’t you try running head first to a large stationary body like that, it was hilarious though)

she’s literally the fever’s best player right now so i don’t know what more you want from her

aliyah boston is in a bit of a slump, hopefully she figures things out. idk if it has anything to do with the weight/muscle she put in but she seems slow. can’t grab a rebound. her shot is still there though so i’m confident she’ll figure it out

all the other nonsense about treating cc differently is stupid and they dk what they’re talking about. sure defenders have been physical but if you watch, you’ll see caitlin has been physical right back. plus all those ticky tack fouls will diminish over time.

i don’t think people haven’t been mentioning the defensive coverage, coaching, and lackluster play from her teammates. at least from my fishbowl i’ve seen it mentioned tons of times. there is a crowd though, that hates caitlin no matter what she does and is just waiting for her to fail. i understand why, the discourse surrounding her has been nothing short of insane. but she did not fuel any of that herself. she’s been nothing but respectful. but i understand where they’re coming from.

scrutiny comes with greatness there’s nothing we can do about that.

to answer your question though (because did i just go on a long tangent about nothing??? idk but i just wanted to explain where i’m coming from lmao) i don’t think people are being condescending. but i think everyone’s being ridiculous for other reasons. everyone is just dumb i’m so sorry but this is why i mind my own business everyone just ends up pissing me off 😭

edit: also some of those TOs really are rookie mistakes she tries to pass through very small passing lanes that just won’t cut it in the pros. but only like. two. an overwhelming majority of her passes are already in her teammates’ hands and they can’t fucking hold on to the ball 😭

#it’s whatever #for anyone who needs this: please utilize the block button in social media it really really REALLY improves the experience #📮

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tolbachik · 1 year ago

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Hi! I’ve been doing alright, all things considered. I recently got into a minor car accident, but I’m okay. Luckily, I’m not at fault for the crash, so the other driver will cover any damages. Still trying to get in contact with my insurance company, hopefully I’ll be able to reach them on Tuesday.

On a better note, I got a good score on my SATs, so I can start applying to colleges now! Also, winter break is right around the corner, so most of my classes have been slowing down their workload in anticipation. :]

A couple years ago I tried to learn Lojban, so if I ever get the chance I think it would be fun to try to learn it again. Toki Pona is also a really interesting language, and, given the chance, I might even learn it instead of Lojban since I think there’s more resources on it.

Other than conlangs, I’d love to learn Polish. A lot of my family members spoke it growing up, but unfortunately I didn’t retain any of it. It’s never too late to learn it again though! :] There’s so many languages I’d love to learn, but so little time lol

Do you have any languages you’d like to learn, or that you’re currently learning? Or just languages you find interesting in general :D

Another graffiti that comes to mind is CIL 4.10241. Unfortunately this one is harder to find resources on, but the original Latin reads “Primigeniae | Nucer(inae) sal(utem) | vellem essem gemma (h)ora non amplius una |

ut tibi signanti oscula pressa darem.” I translated it as something along the lines of “Nucerina’s greetings to Primgeniae | I would like to be a jewel for no longer than an hour | so I may give you firmly pressed kisses as you’re stamping.” (For context, Romans often used engraved jewels as stamps for their letters.) My translation might be a little iffy, but the general concept remains the same haha

Choir was pretty fun. I was an alto, so I never got to sing the fun parts, but I still enjoyed the class. Also, it got me out of an otherwise mandatory extra math class my school made students take, so that’s a plus. It’s kinda weird knowing that past me would voluntarily be in a choir, since now I’m mortified whenever I have to sing in front of people haha

I looked up what a balalaika sounds like, but I was pleasantly surprised to realize that I’ve heard it before! Its sound is so instantly recognizable, I’m surprised I didn’t know the name of the instrument that made it! I haven’t heard of the shamisen before, but it sounds really nice as well. I’ll definitely have to look into more songs that use these instruments! :D

Most of the news I hear is about Mars, so I’m glad to hear about missions to other planets as well! I’ll have to keep my eye on those missions in the coming years :D

I just listened to I.G.Y. and I really loved it! You’re right though, in hindsight it’s a bit bittersweet :[ I’ve actually been meaning to get into more of Donald Fagen’s solo work, and I think this song was a perfect introduction.

On the topic of music, if you could see any musician perform live, who would it be?

I think my favorite Roman emperor would probably have to be Caligula. He’s considered one of the worst ones, but I think he’s really interesting. He and Elagabalus are actually similar in a lot of ways, both came into power really young, had relatively short reigns, and after the fact their incompetence was greatly exaggerated. I think my favorite fact about Caligula is one time he joked about making his horse consul to piss off the senate. Unfortunately, the truth got twisted, and now most people believe that he actually made/tried to make his horse senator haha

Doctored and AI images are the worst, I can totally understand why it’d irk you. Space is already so beautiful on its own, it’s so odd that people would go out of their way to edit it, or use AI to generate completely fake images.

I’ve never heard of Silent Running, but I checked out the synopsis and the trailer and it sounds amazing! I’ll definitely have to make time to watch it! Also, I put a hold on my library’s copy of Rendezvous with Rama. It’s been on my to-read list for awhile, so I’m glad to have the motivation to finally start it. :D

I think The Magic of Recluce is a good starting point for L.E. Modesitt’s work. I think with his style, you either love it or you hate it. It’s a bit slower, and it focuses a lot on world building. The story definitely picks up the pace as the book progresses, but it’s definitely not as action-driven as a lot of other fantasy novels from the time.

Also, do you celebrate any winter holidays? If so, which one(s)?

I hope you have a great day/night! :D

- 🎲

So sorry for the delay with this! It's been a bit busy here, I really appreciate your patience. I'm so sorry to hear about the accident; I hope you're doing alright since then! I hope you've also been able to hear back from your insurance company since then, I'm sure the wait was a bit stressful. Please take it easy, I'm sorry again you went through all that!

Aww, congrats! I'm so happy for you! Are there any specific colleges you're hoping to get into especially? Also, what have you been doing for your winter break so far? I hope you've been enjoying it!

Ohhh I love conlangs, they're so neat! If you decide to go through with either of those, I hope you enjoy your learning journey. They're both pretty neat, I love the fact that you can just... Come up with a language like that, and with such deep and complex (or simple!) grammatical structures. I might consider taking one up someday too, if I can!

Polish sounds fun! I don't know too much about Polish or Poland, but I know that one of the bigger cities in my state (Pittsburgh) has a pretty large Polish population. On top of that, pierogis are well loved in my household, but that's about it lol If you decide to learn Polish again as well, I hope you enjoy! I'm sure it's fun to reconnect with family history, huh?

Well, I'm currently (trying) to learn Swedish! I made a promise to myself awhile ago that if I ever made a friend from another country, I'd do my best to learn their language, and that just so happened to be Swedish! It's been fun learning it so far, seeing how close it is to English in some ways. Aside from that, I think I'd like to learn Russian, Arabic, and Spanish someday too!

Awww, god that's sweet ? Again, these little things are such a good way to humanize the past. I feel like, more often than not, we view the past as just like... I don't know, an object maybe? A vague idea? But they were real people who lived lives like us, albeit with different technologies and ways of life. Thanks a ton for sharing & translating it, I mean it!

That's so cool! I'm sorry you didn't get to sing any of the parts you wanted, though. Ahh, man, I don't blame you for taking choir over math then! What kind was it? Also, that's totally fair! It's hard singing in front of people, I can't do it either lol

They're both very unique instruments! It's really cool seeing how many different ways you can make a stringed instrument. Despite having the same base components, you can make so many different sounds! Another neat one is the erhu; I actually got to see a live performance of one, my sister's friend can play it!

For sure, Mars takes up the lion's share of our space-based resources, unfortunately. It's not a bad planet, per se, but... I think a lot of the hype over it is undeserved, really! Yes, it's close to us, but so are Venus and Mercury. Yes, it was most likely habitable in the past and had water, but so was Venus, Mercury currently has water-ice on its poles, and many other moons in our system currently have oceans under their crust. I get very passionate about this; Mars really isn't the best starting point people think it is, but alas! Such is life lol

I'm glad you liked it! It's a great song, but always a bit saddening to think of all that we were promised decades ago. Looking back, if things had been just a tiny bit different, things could be so much better. But, that's ok! We can make a better future for us all still, we just have to work hard on it together!

Also, I hope you enjoy Donald Fagen's work! My earliest memory of music is actually Green Flower Street by him. I don't think either of my parents are big Donald Fagen fans, but for some reason, that's the first song I remember hearing!

Oh man, any musician? Alive or dead? That's tough! If I can pick someone who's dead, it's a three-way tie between Jim Sullivan, Norma Tanega, and Emitt Rhodes. Those are my big three, I love their music so much! If I had to pick someone living though, I'd say maybe DEVO or Todd Rundgren. My dad made me listen to DEVO a lot growing up, and I just really love Todd Rundgren's A Wizard / True Star album! What about you?

Oh wow, I wouldn't have expected Caligula to be your favorite! What are some of your favorite facts/little tidbits of information about him? I'd love to learn more! Also, I love how they just did weird stuff like that back then too; stuff doesn't really change much, does it?

Ahhh, they really are. It's such a shame, how quickly the internet has just. Degraded to the point of no recognition with all that. Between machine learning destroying search engines reliability and all these images and voice clips, it's just getting to be a bit much!

Aww, I hope you enjoy it! It's my absolute favorite movie, I have a huge art poster of it above my desk. It came at a critical time in my life, and really set me on the path to being more interested in the environmental/cultural side of expanding humanity's reach beyond Earth. It was also a huge inspiration for me writing my story; I don't know if it would exist without it! Also, I hope you enjoy Rama! It's a great book, let me know what you think!

Thank you for the suggestions! I'll keep these in a list somewhere on my computer, and I'll be sure to get to them when I can, then. I like slower stuff & a focus on worldbuilding, so I'm really looking forward to it. Thank you so much!

Well, I was raised Christian and am in a quasi-religious household, so I do celebrate Christmas. However, I've moved away from it since I was a kid, and am more agnostic than anything; I don't really feel comfortable with a lot of Christianity's core tenets, especially seeing how it lead to the conquest and devastation of the Americas, Africa, and much else of the world. That, and all of the intolerance in America that exists in its name. Plus, the idea of a god that would one day destroy his creation just seems a bit... Off to me, y'know? What about you, what do you like to celebrate?

Thanks again for the wonderful ask; I hope you have a wonderful holiday season! Please don't rush to reply if you're busy with your own celebrations, take all the time you need.

Have a great rest of your day, and take care! I can't wait to talk to you more later!

#srs23 #my posts #cube #asks #🎲

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anthonysstupiddailyblog · 1 year ago

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Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (551): Tue 19th Sep 2023

Holiday! Celebrate! When I woke up and saw the grey and the rain this morning I couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of this miserable city for five days. Although I was excited I hate travel days because I’m constantly worrying that I’ve forgotten something. I must have checked that the TV in my room was turned off and that the window was closed a couple of dozen times. I tried to stay in the house as long as I could because I hate leaving Lucy by herself but she’ll only be herself from 8-3 o’clock from now until Friday while Mam’s at work. When I get back I’ll try to start taking her out for a walk every day if it’s not raining from now on. I got to the town for half 11 even though my flight wasn’t scheduled to leave until 15:55. However when I saw that one of the trains had been delayed due to strikes I thought it would probably be best to get to the airport now rather than keep putting it off and risk the train I finally decided to get on being delayed. Even though I arrived at the airport with three hours to spare I still got myself checked in and through security since there’s more to do in the departures lounge. I mostly wandered around from cafe to cafe listening to a Chris Jericho podcast on my headphones and trying to come up with jokes from the paper I bought. I couldn’t quite comprehend that Dad and I had already been at this airport six months ago when we went to Los Angeles as that feels like a fucking lifetime ago now. But hopefully if this solo holiday goes well then I’ll be seeing a lot more of this airport. They started boarding us at 15:20 and thankfully the woman I got sat next to was an old boiler so I new I didn’t have to worry about body odor. If she’d been a really good looking woman then I’d have been worried about a little bit of piss getting on my boxers when I went to the toilet but since she was a munter I could relax. Speaking of good looking women My God flight attendants are fucking fit!

I completely understand why airlines hire supermodel level women to do this job because customers will be more willing to fly with their airline again. But this brings into question why I was hired for my current job in the factory since I’m not required to interact with members of the public. It’s almost as if my amazing looks played no part in my getting the job at all but that can’t be right. Although all the other people who work at the factory are munters so I suppose I was probably hired so that they could have something nice to looks at…yeah that must be it. One of these goddesses asked me if I would like a drink. I asked for a can of coke and she said that would be £2.50. This is an outrageous amount of money to pay for a can of fucking Coke but something positive did come out of this. A little while later in the flight I thought that I good thing to have said when she’d told me the price of the Coke would have been “That’s more than this holiday cost!”. Normally I think of the perfect thing to say to a pretty girl when it’s a week too late but I thought of this only two hours after it was too late so I’m definitely getting better thanks to this Jerry Seinfeld “Don’t Break The Chain” challenge. Hopefully If I keep at it I’ll get to the point where I start thinking of the perfect thing to say a couple of minutes after it’s too late. The pilot got us to Gran Canaria twenty minutes ahead of schedule and just like that I was in a foreign country by myself for the first time in my life. Because I didn’t bring a suitcase with me I just strolled past baggage claim into passport checks and out the front doors onto the coach waiting to take me to my hotel. It was easily the most pain / stress / boredom free journey I’ve ever been on. To my surprise the other cunts got their suitcases and were on the bus with me surprisingly quickly. Someone must have told them where I worked and that I desperately needed a nice, hassle free holiday and they decided to comply and get their shit together quickly. We got to the hotel after 45 minutes and although I wanted to take a look around I was knackered by this point so I got to my room and unpacked and went straight to bed. I’m so happy that the journey here turned out to be so straightforward and worry free as now I can relax and enjoy the next four (and a half) days by listening to music and reading my book in peace. Hopefully while I’m here there will be another outbreak of covid in the UK and I will be forced to stay in Gran Canaria for the foreseeable future.

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finsterhund · 2 years ago

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Getting my medicine was a nightmare they didn't know what they were doing and it took forever and I had go book another appointment with my doctor anyways even though they faxed my doctor to refill prescriptions before

Stupid I hate it but at least I was at my doctors office so I went in there and didn't have to struggle over the phone so now I have emergency 2 weeks meds until then but it took them forever to get it ready and I am very hungry and tired and want to go back to bed and it's time overdue for Scott's morning wallkies and I still want to kill and maim I am angy want violence.

The bloodwork people want to phase out the accessible way I've been booking my appointments so you have to fucking phone appointment and I fucking hate it people barely understand me talking face to face fuck you. But they still let me do it. So I have them book it six months in advance. Fucking hate how I have to do bloodwork until I die. Fuck.

Hate this. Want to live in the woods but need meds and bloodwork.

Angry. Would stop meds if stopping meds didn't makeceverytjing so much worse. Enemies with everything want to kill but unable to. Meds make me easier to ignore negative stimuli and not be consumed wanting to kill my enemies even though they deserve it I can't do it so all I do is seethe and it's better to ignore it but can't ignore it if not medicine.

My roommate made me spend money so bank is negative can't buy anything until get paid big mad.

Have to have bath and do laundry but I don't want to.

Wish meds were imstant but they are not. Why do they make me do bloodwork before I wake up I booked the next one at a reasonable hour.

Need to go to the vet and get Scott more nexguard butvmy bank is negativrvneed to wait until I get paid again.

When I took Scott for walk the failed delivery Canada post slip was in the mailbox even though they delivered a package to the house before we left I am so mad they just delivered one but not the other.

One week five days on Wednesday also new episode of the bad batch very excited Cody was in the last one I like commander Cody

The cunt who stole my art blocked me when I told him off. They always fucking do that. Deviantart makes it impossible to actually report these shitheads. Just more things pissing me the fuck off.

I want to fly int oa fit of rage. I want to fly into a fit of rage so badly. I want these people everyone involved to suffer.

Psotives I think of positive.s:

Fishy sent me money just now whjen I was writing this. Thank you love you good happy no bank problem. So that is saved

also I am on my meds now so hopefully I will have calm down time eventuallty

I have weed gummy but I have no clue if taking it will calm me down or if I will just became psychotic rage but high on weed gummy.

Scott gave me lots of kisses. He may not be able to be service dog but there are benefits for me rewarding him for Cazza’s commands just to have repetition and familiar comfort routine in my life because he does them sometimes.

most of my enemies are older than me so if I am lucky I will outlive them when they die

retribution will happen eventually

star wars

heart of darkness

crying dog toy with a pocket in the ear

#text post #negative #long post

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obsessiveshayme · 2 years ago

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I agree with everything, and there’s a lot of debate on Reddit but I’ve seen others voice the same concerns about sully, dumo and Jeff. I’ve been wanting sully out for the past two seasons now….he’s too stubborn to an absolute fault, I remember I think it was during this seasons 7 game L stretch that he was making 0 line changes, which he still doesn’t, unless it’s like 1 guy…and then all he does is put them on a different line but all the same players overall….that’s just not enough imo, like pull some players up from WBS, we need change. Shake it up idk this team is just so stagnant. Honestly I think the wins we’ve had since those 7 games have been pure dumb luck for the most part. We’ve only been scoring on power plays our 5v5 is laughable. And it’s always pissed me off that sully never pulls the goalies when they’ve had absolute shit games. Dumos been hot trash for a minute imo, I don’t understand why we’ve kept him so long. To me he hasn’t been anything worthwhile since our last cup win. Jeff, idk like yeah he’s playing bad rn but he was doing great earlier in the season and last season so I hope it’s just a funk. He still has a great face off percentage. If anything has to change though I really want it to be our head coach. Sullys playbook just isn’t working for this team anymore. Yeah he WAS a great coach, emphasis on was. The only defense I’ve seen is “he’s won us back to back cups🥴” as if he’s the only one to ever do that? He’s not. Idk. Like I said this team is stagnant. idk if I jinxed it or predicted it but as soon as the first period ended I was like watch us blow it. Don’t even get me started on overtime. The only thing good right now is our penalty kill if you ask me. And I am so not looking forward to this winter classic game. Bruins have been REALLY good, and we’re going into that game after this dog shit back to back? Hopefully we can win against the devils save some face, cause we’re gonna get creamed by the bruins and it’s only gonna add salt to the wound.

I said the same thing to my friend. We never really started playing better after that seven game losing streak. We pretty much got lucky. We are not playing well right now. We cannot keep a lead. We cannot win in overtime. We are dog shit 5v5. These are not opinions these are plain facts that you can back up with numbers and video. Yet instead of trying to fix this Sully keeps doing the same things over and over and over. What is the definition of insanity?

What was great about Sullivan in the early days was that he was not afraid to change it up. He was constantly switching the lines and putting different people out for different things back in 2016-2017 when we won the Cups but that was a long time ago and he's not the same coach. This is another thing I think people are not willing to admit. He has changed just as much as the players have changed and he has gotten stagnant. I told my friend that we win in spite of him and not because of him sometimes and that doesn't make a good coach.

I want dumo to find his game. However as you said he has been off for some time and I think we just turned a blind eye because we were winning. Now we are not winning so we are forced to look at the problematic parts of our team and unfortunately he is one of them. I don't know what he needs to do to find his game but I do know he does not need to be on that second pair. Why is he getting so many minutes when he's not playing well? Another baffling coaching decision.

I think Jeff will get it back and we don't really have to worry about him but pointing out that he's not playing well right now is not a bad thing. It just is what it is. Him getting that goal last night gave me hope.

But I agree with you because when you boil it down a lot of what is going wrong with us right now comes down to bad coaching. Fire the coach and win a Cup?

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seokjinsonlyone · 2 years ago

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Ok LMFAO DONT ASK ME HOW I THOUGHT OF THIS BUT I NEED YOUR OPINION

who is mtl to get grumpy or jealous over the thought of you being lovely dovey for someone else or a previous partner. Like who just thinks about you doing the things they love that you do for them for someone else and then they get all upset about it LMFAOO

My guess

Jungkook (HE GOTTA BE THE FIRST ON THE LIST)

Taehyung (Mr. I’ll start little fights with my s/o)

Jimin (Mr. Jealousy.. that leads to cuddling or 🤭)

Yoongi (Special moments are very important to him and if he thinks too much about you having those moments with anyone else he gets pouty ☺️)

Namjoon (He understands and respects the fact y’all were with people before each other BUT if this mans get too deep into thought about you giving whats now rightfully his to someone else.. he’s not gonna be in the best mood)

Seokjin (You’re his now why would he care? 🙄 he’ll care only a little bit cause he’s a die hard romantic and if he thinks about you doing the things he loves for someone else he’s chest get tingling in a bad way 🥺 he’ll play it off though as best as he can)

Hoseok (Your his and his only now so thinking about who had you before doesn’t really bother him, definitely will laugh over the fact they lost out on someone amazing but he gained. Thinking of anyone having you after is also laughable cause it ain’t happening 😌 don’t get it twisted though, baby boy does get jealous and if it does ever bother him he’s finna be all up on you 🤭 take that however you please)

Ok your turn 🤭✨

jungkook is definitely first!!! you right about that one like i’m sorry i’m referencing the perilla leaf debate for the 14829384th time but i will continue to do so bc he was sooooo serious like did not crack one smile the entire time they was talking about it💀 he don’t wanna hear nun bout no ex nd what u did with them point blank pyramid he don’t even wanna see u getting too chummy wit yo friends tbh like if u and yo homegirl was sharing an appetizer or you let her taste yo drink or sumn he would catch a major attitude

taehyung is second only bc i feel like he’s the most dramatic like with everyone else i feel like this could be a Thing but with tae it’s gon be an Incident there’s gonna be an argument for sure a whole “do you even care about me at all? why are we even together??” segment it’s gonna be something out of a YA novel liable to last anywhere from 4 hours to 4 days but at the same time i feel like he’d make it more of a competition than anything else like he may not be the first but he gon be the best and hopefully the last

with joon i’m thinking about how in his rolling stone interview with what’s his face pharrell! when he was talking about how sometimes he hear a song so good he get jealous that he ain’t make it so yeah when it come to you i feel like if he tried to show you one of his favorite spots like a restaurant or sumn nd you absentmindedly was like “oh i’ve been there i went with so and so” he’d lowkey be pissed 😅 like he gon play it cool but it’s the thought of u being at one of his favorite places without him with someone else you were involved with lowkey it’s gon eat him up a little

i think that jimin is like really good with interpersonal relationships like every conversation about exes and likes and dislikes and boundaries all that good stuff will have been had so when he get upset it’s gon be because he done let his imagination get away from like one night he gon be up bc he can’t sleep and the intrusive thoughts will win or y’all will meet up with your friends and you gon have a homie that you done known since way back in the cadillac and he’ll get jealous of how close your bond is and then he’ll get distant and a little snappy and you’ll have to call him out a bit and give him some reassurance to bring him back to normal

hobi the type to say that he don’t care until he do 💀 like he’ll be perfectly fine until he sees or thinks about you doing something with someone else and it’s just gon sit in the corner of his mind like an itch that he can’t quite reach to scratch he not gon make a big deal out of it like he’ll try to deal with it himself for the most part but if he can’t he’ll bring it up lightly nd then you’ll talk about it and then that’s just gon be that on that

yoongi wouldn’t care fr fr like he know how relationships work and understands that you had a few just like he had a few 🤷‍♀️ but what would absolutely tick him off is if you did something with him that you claimed you only ever did with him and then he find out that you did it with everyone else nd they mama like is he a joke to you? is he just another dude to you? and what you got to lie for? that wouldn’t sit right with him but so long as you’re forthcoming it’s whatever nd knows his worth he know you’d be hard pressed to do better than him

seokjin is our unbothered king he’s always said he’s a man of the present so he is not worried about the past at all and the future only warrants minor consideration like as long as y’all cool he not spending no time pondering about other people bc he simply does not care 😌 nor does he care to care he worried about u nd him nd das it 🙅🏾‍♀️

#SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG #BUT I WAS FINALLY ABLE TO FORMULATE SOME THOUGHTS #ask of interest #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts mtl #jeon jungkook x reader #taehyung x you #jimin fanfic #namjoon fanfic #hobi fic #yoongi x oc #seokjin x y/n

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maleficent-cannoli · 3 years ago

Text

Timelining KP (part 2)

Now that we know VegasPete gets to happen over the last 4 episodes and there will be discussion of Vegas’ trauma I am on CLOUD FUCKING NINE because this means I get to stretch this out as much as I want to.

Approximately 10 minutes after I wrote that and I am once again anxious about pacing, but for other reasons. Anyway, here we go.

CAUTION: NOVEL SPOILERS AHEAD

General Outline-ish:

Episode 11 - VP episode, “fuck where’s Pete,” Porsche’s birthday (34 - 36)

Episode 12 - more VP, Kittisawasd family angst, funeral/Return of the Pete (36 - 40)

Episode 13 - post-VP, KimChay is a disaster, karaoke scene (yay!), parental issues, conversation re: Vegas (42 - 44)

Episode 14 - more drama, boss battle, party (44 - end)

Episode 11:

So I’ve been talking with the lovely @secondtime20, and we’re hoping for a solid 50% VegasPete next episode

In terms of the preview, I definitely think we’ll get to see a VegasPete scene BEFORE Vegas makes the decision not to kill Pete and to hide him in his room instead, or at least a later flashback to it, just to allow us to understand why he would make that conscious effort to keep Pete when we’ve already seen how easily he’d shoot pretty much anyone point-blank

We could potentially start to see more of Vegas’ vulnerability outside of the highly controlled lens of its usage in manipulating others, more of the ugly truth, this could be the episode where we’ll see more of the inner workings of the minor family

I’m also hoping they get more into the REAL family dynamics between Vegas and Gun, as well as MAYBE with Macau, but I’m not sure yet

This is also probably the episode where PETE gets to see Gun for the abusive homophobe that he is

Unhinged time!

I want to see Vegas on his fucking KNEES

I think I speak for many of us when I say simp!Vegas PLEASE

Also Pete’s hip tattoo… I don’t think I need to say more about it than that

Also maybe the shaving scene?

In any case, this is (hopefully) where we’ll see Vegas start to fall, and I want to see him fall HARD (I could literally spend hours talking about just this, but a lot of people already have and that would have to be a completely separate post)

Probably cut in with some main family drama

KimChay reveal, mayhap?

I want to see our baby boy show his FANGS

But yeah I was a little put off by the fact that they so easily glossed over the fact that Chay is pissed and gave Porsche a whole-ass ultimatum at the end of episode 10

Maybe also trying to get Chay moved in with the main family for safety reasons because clearly the house is not safe anymore (they’ve literally had 2 kidnappings happen there, no more chances should be taken)

Obviously some Tankhun commentary would be amazing

Place your bets here as to whether or not Chay remembers Kim’s involvement in his rescue!

Yeah I think it’s going to be a total trainwreck and I am so here for it

But like I said probably mostly VegasPete and the development of their relationship

I could see the phone calls happening and the much anticipated “are you hungry?” happening here.

Depending on how they want to do it, we could maybe see some more romantic implications, but I don’t think Coco just yet

I am also wondering about Nop and whether or not he’ll exist in the show, although I think some people spotted him in the background of a number of scenes

And of course I have to say the obligatory “maybe this time we’ll get the pool scene” but like…

Anyways, I think I could see this being a slightly chiller episode, at least on the KinnPorsche front since they’re already been dealing with shit and yeah

Is angsty filler a thing? Because if it’s pretty much all VegasPete, that’s what people will call it. Idk man I’m barely coherent at this point.

Episode 12:

Wrapping up the main VegasPete arc + Pete escaping and, as much as I keep, for whatever reason, thinking of this as a VegasPete episode, probably other things will also happen

Honestly at this point I’d be inclined to call episode 12 our big VegasPete episode, but like I said there are other parts of the plot that I have to remind myself not to forget about now that we know we have more time

(Probably) lots more VegasPete in this episode, *happy noises*

More phone calls

Maybe the shaving scene if it hasn’t already happened

Basically they’re falling in love and we’re all going to spontaneously combust

We’ll probably get the funeral scene and the Return of the Pete (because I will take any and all opportunities to make a LotR reference, even where it clearly does not belong), which will be absolutely hilarious, maybe at the end of the episode?

Bonus points if we get to see Tankhun dump a soup tureen on Vegas for finding the funeral funny

This is probably the episode where we’ll get to see the infamous love scene that was apparently intense enough for Bible to need an inhaler

I am REALLY hoping we get the Coco scene, or at least something like it

Aside from just VegasPete, we also might get some really fun KimChay stuff, and by fun I mean lots of crying and dramatic stuff

There was that scene from the trailer where he was crying so (could also be in episode 11)

Methinks Chay will be moved in with the main family by the end of episode 12 because reasons

Also this is kinda unrelated but I am struggling with the fact that I want Chay to be friends with Tankhun and the bodyguard trio but at the same time I also want him to have secretly been besties with Macau the entire time…

ANYWAY, I am also anticipating a whole boatload more angst on the Porsche front

As I was recently reminded, “you shag him for what” still hasn’t happened yet and it was in the trailer and sounds important so maybe it’ll happen here (I do apologize again for my general lack of brain cells)

But yeah the uncle needs to be back to stir up shit and just generally be a dick

A lot of the post-VegasPete drama will happen more in episode 13 because the show is just spicy like that

Episode 13:

A lot of post-VegasPete stuff, probably, because what else could we possibly need other than even more emotional damage?

The very enjoyable dumpster fire that is Pete trying to process the whole VegasPete arc while Vegas and Porsche do some sleuthing into Porsche’s dramatic Batman backstory

Or, as I like to call it, everyone is a hot mess (again) but this time they’re actually doing an okay job at figuring out what the fuck is going on

The karaoke scene, also known as the gathering of mafia wives (Tae’s words, not mine) which many may know is the scene I am most anticipating, will probably be in this episode

Chay is hilarious– WAIT. THOUGHTS HAVE ARISEN. What if the reason he’s pissed at Kim here isn’t because he thought he was cheating on him but because of the fact that he lied to him and used him for information??? (not going to edit this out later because who cares)

I love Tae, and Pete is doing not great

I especially want to see the part where Vegas ambushes Porsche in the bathroom to talk about Pete because “I love him and I can’t live without him” and yes, that is a direct quote

But yeah a lot of this is just digging into what happened to the Kittisawasd parents

I think we might need to start coming up with detective name puns for Porsche and Vegas in anticipation of this episode

And Vegas has both mommy AND daddy issues, the whole package

Also Vegas being all worried and asking Porsche about Pete to make sure he’s ok

Plus increasing tension between the major and minor families in the run-up to what I’ve been referring to as the boss battle

Episode 14:

The boss battle, the final showdown, the big dramatic fight scene, whatever you want to call it, that’s this episode

I don’t think there’s much else to say about that part

Basically wrapping everything up

The party from the end of the novel

I’d love if they did some of the stuff from the VegasPete special chapters, and by that I mean I want to see baby Venice Theerapanyakul

Probably ending on everyone’s favorite chess aficionado doing some ominous foreshadowing via some complicated metaphor that may or may not actually make sense (apple/knife metaphor who?)

So yeah. That’s what I’ve got. It has taken me WAY too long to make this, and I’m pretty sure some sections of it don’t even make that much sense, but whatever. Let me know your thoughts

#kinnporsche #kimchay #vegaspete #kpts #kinnporsche the series #vel tries to timeline #i kinda feel like i forgot to say something but whatever

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