#Hope it was ok i made a random starter!

[archive-of-the-guild]

@the-blackened-dove​

Laila was nervous as hell. She didn’t know why Roako had told her to come help this woman out or what their relationship was..... Although she could probably guess. All she knew was he had brought her to this bar after hours to have a seat before he took off, telling her to introduce herself to the bar’s owner as he left to go do whatever it was he was doing. Truthfully, she didn’t know how she could help this person... The place looked clean and everything seemed to be in it’s proper place.... Maybe she needed wait staff or something? Maybe a cook? ....Maybe she didn’t need help at all and Roako was just doing this on a whim... Guess she’d find out one way or the other.

[1tsfate]

" oh my god , you're craig manning . you wrote that song , thong girl wrong girl . " aka the song that drives katie insane because not only is it not very flattering to the girl it's about , but maya has played it over and over since hearing it . " my sister is never going to believe i met you , could i get a picture ? " not very feminist , maya . . .

@pcnthers

[starrvlight]

should i make a web toon??

chat should I make a webtoon?? I already have some story written out, it's kinda lie sbg?? It's not like taken from SBG I promise 😭 but it's the same genre??and I have not ppl to edit my art / anyone to help out with the comic CONSIDERING IM A MINOR (13-15)??I also don't consider myself good a drawing:p But I'll tell u about it and lmk if I should try to make it a comic??:D

it's about these kids (12-13) I KNOW IT'S YOUNG BUT WHATS A LIL TRAUMA GONNA DO?? And like (I'm still figuring this out 😔(ok nvm I'm just going to copy and paste I have a 2 starts so far starts so far))

starter one: (2nd one I made + still working on)

They use walkie talkies the communicate *FIFI RUNNING THRU THE HALLS OF HER SCHOOL* Hey- I'm Fiona or fifi- whatever u wanna call me. For the past few months I've been having this recurring dream, or simalar to that.. Cut to fifi panting, crying and bleeding a lot from the side of she stomach, running in a hellish realm from a multiple runners going to some massive treehouse and she climbs a ladder and axel rolls up the ladder, and fifi pressing a button and collapse shaking

Cut back to Fifi, running into her class "your late miss Weech." Fifi looks up "sorry Mr mordini" she mumbles

starter 2: (og one)

Fifi was looking thru her dad's stuff and saw some "fun" looking horror game that was shoved way way way in the back1-2 (axel and fifi) people are playing a game, then the game glitches and the game like sucks them in.they were playing some horror game where you had necklaces/ bracelets/earrings rings that they found then they had some type of power (but didn't know||powers:, water,fire,air,earth,flying, manipulate gravity,super speed, instant healing, able to shield Able to manipulate blood, shrink/grow is size, teleport abe to see into the future by a.little bit, lightning yk?) and so they kinda just walked around for a bit and then saw something glowing..it was a crimson shade of red..like blood.. axel grabbed it and looked at it then hesitantly but it on, then continued walking it was really dare,, they came across this neighborhood/ghost town and a whole bunch of houses were like decaying and they walked in, hoping to find stuff,they ended up finding some water, a backpack and a couple flashlights +batteries.. and a ring that had a dark green gem..then l of a sudden they hear EXTREMELY loud screeching and they remember it from the game they the began to run out the house but screeching got louder and louder to they ran the opposite way, but there was no way out so they had to kill the creature (it's a black creature that's completely black and has like a really open mouth andna head that's tilted back, a massive eye on their chest and in the same pllace on their back, really tall massive claws, they r called runners/screechers, then there are other ones that can fly at really high speeds r called flyers) they didn't know how so they just ran and ran, until axel fel...Fifi pulled axel and help him up..but it was too late and the monster lunged at them then the crouchd and covered themselves, then hears some running and then a loud screach,. They looks up and say a trio, one has black, really curly hair, one has a bit with bleached hair and one with browns hair and some hair dye, the one with h dyed hair has black goop on her hand she shirt, then the one with curly blkack hair ran to them

And I drew both comics a bit both have I think 3 panels :p

AND SORRY FOR RANDOM NAMES IN IT I CAN POST THE CHARACTER INTRODUCTION STUFF IF U WANT MORE INFO

ANDDD ANOTHING THINK IM WITTEWLIWLY DRAWING IN IBISPAINT 🤨 LIKE??

[memeapple2]

Tails gets trolled rp starters part 1

yeah 😔 yes I'm leaving in the typos beacuse it's funnier that way :^) Fight me nerds!!

"Fuck you trolls!"

"They can't troll you if their dead!"

"I'm so mad, I'm gonna have sex with my girlfriend so I won't be so mad."

"Dumbass will learn."

"Mad? U Mad? U look mad U stupid bitch!"

"sorry *insert name* if this looks gay to the viewers."

"the art of trolling was actually started from humans but it wasn't called trolling it was called being a dick but back in the middle ages i was being made fun of because i wasn't human."

"im extremely hurt you would think im a douche. it might not look like it but i have feelings and you hurt them."

"hey can you put that on a coaster?"

"They have been getting trolled. you know how it is. there calling *insert name* gay and shit they cant take it."

"the way to stop a troll. is to become his friend .as his friend you can show him the right path!"

*-goes back to knitting-*

"come i will talk to these kids and stop this hate with kindness!"

"sometimes there is need to do whats needed, if it was up to me *insert name* would be dead and we would never have to worry"

"im not gay I have a girl friend and i would like it if this conflict to end in peace"

"you must not know who i am. i have alot of talent and i have lots of friends. one of my friends is right beside me . and for what your saying isn't true, so i am not afended by your hateful comments"

"ehhh...... im gonna ignore what you just said and ask you one more time. lets end this hate and become friends"

"why don't we just be friends this is stupid"

"ok im gonna take a random guess and say you guys failed with that peace crap"

"i fucking knew it"

"hello dickheads so your the trolls i heard about"

"hey do you see that? it looks like a group of pokemon.coming at us"

"for a em→→breaded donkey i can sure fuck your mom hard."

"there isn't. you remember what happen when you guys tried peace? you cant talk to them. there to oblivious"

"yea remind me next time to not kill such a fat person"

"high shovel!"

"ok i'm gonna go back to sleep now good night."

"banana"

"don't worry man I killed the fat one. its all cool man. i know all about the taste for blood"

"thank you for proving that peace isn't shit. when it comes to trolls. your a good friend"

" *insert name* Wake up! you fucked up big time!"

"People can't troll me beacuse I have no ears. They can't troll me if I can't hear them!"

"What? I don't have fucking ears!"

"If you don't mind I'd like to continue knitting this!"

"did you know with seat belts people die all the time in car crashes? I thought that was interesting!"

"have you ever been bitch slapped from lack of listening? Lack of doing what you're told? Beacuse I'm not that far from slapping you."

"which means I can be super powerful and kick everyone's ass..I'm gonna be awesomely badass!"

"trust me this plan will be better beacuse I'm gonna smoke my smart weed! I'm smarter when I'm high."

"Why are you filled with so much hatred and aggression? I'm finding it difficult to assume what you must have went through to mold you into the person standing in front of me now."

"Hey troll! FUCK YOU!!!"

"hmmmm this isn't as i thought it would be, killing people is really boring and all these annoying screams, i mean damn."

"Yeah that wasn't very good. I tried to do something similar to high shovel. Let's just forget about this."

"there is no need for any blood shed, this problem can be solved with out any villains"

"I do all kinds of stupid and gay shit."

"I’m starting to think that even if we pray our hearts out and know that we do wrong, that maybe there are things that god can’t fix and maybe, instead of putting our hope in god to fix all our problems we take action for our mistakes and learn from them."

"Sorry it took us so long to save you from TIME PRISON. So what did you do in TIME PRISON?"

"You gotta calm down bro, chill man, smoke a joint!"

"After 50 years I started to feel like I was losing my sanity so I started to break my fingers and I would just break my fingers and set them again. "

" I started breaking all my bones. I broke every bone in my hands. I broke my arms, separately, and then I started to break my own ribs. I broke my femurs, it took a while. And then I healed and broke them again."

"After 5000 years my bones were all scar tissue. They had all grown so solidly back together that I was unable to move. "

"And after another 5000 years of furious infinitesimal movement, I built up enough muscle mass to spontaneously break any bone in my body, and then I could move again. "

"My body had done so much healing that I healed almost instantly. That’s all I do now. Every time I move my body, my bones shatter and heal back in my next shape. If I take a single step, every bone in my legs splinters and then reforms. I don’t know what pain is because I have been alive for 10 million years."

"Okay but it looks like your walking normal."

"Well that's just stupid."

"oh sorry i forgot about this and took a nap and then took a shit. im so sorry i forgot but no worries man im here now"

"ahhhhh........................................................ yeah i dont know."

"hey your awful lonely. you must be a looser or something."

"this is the down side of having no ears, i can't hear if *insert name* is screaming for help or not, i mean i have no clue if hes screaming towards me back, so damn it having no ears kind of blows."

"hhahahahahahahahha i dont even know what the fuck you said?"

"i was trolled until i got bigger and stronger then them now i am feared"

".................... i have no importance to this story line what so ever, i think im gonna go."

"wow that story was super amazingly awesome, im not even joking right now"

"ahhhhhh so gay"

"we neutral's dont take sides in childish battles that normal people do. to pick sides is fullish."

"well most of the trolls are stupid but they all think there smart it's funny if you think about it."

"ummm. what object is like that? huh? ........ its unbreakable and its breakable? how is that possible? is it a liquid? hmmm i don't understand ?"

"now im gonna kick you right in your hairy ballsack"

"ok everyone! do you guys see this paper? well theres nothing on it yet but there will be"

"hey guys i was just telling him the plan. we are gonna do a all nighter and get fucked up hahaha its gonna be sweet."

"What? what are you talking about? We can discuss this further when there's not a gun in my face.."

"shut up, i got this alright, i got this shit in the bag, you'll see."

[kaeyachi]

GENSHIN 3.5 UPDATE SPOILERS

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I'M WARNING YOU. THESE ARE MAJOR SPOILERS. MAJOR KAEYA LORE DROPS

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FINAL WARNING!!!

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Ok here it goes-

Kaeya hopping onto a caravan to get to Sumeru as a kid is simultaneously the funniest and saddest thing ever.

Could you all imagine the chaos once the Ragnvindrs realized child Kaeya is missing? I could just imagine Diluc crying loudly about losing Kaeya while Crepus panics and half yells at his staff and the knights about looking for him.

And the moment Crepus sees Kaeya again, he pulls him by the ear!! Because how dare this child give him the heart attack of the century! The nerve of this child to give him gray hairs!! Absolutely comedic!

But the fact that Kaeya did it because he wants to learn more about his heritage hurts. He barely knows anything (and even if he does know a lot, he feels as if he is missing large amounts of context anyway). No wonder he hid that one piece of paper about information on their clan. He's clinging to what is left over for him.

I don't fully trust the idea that his father left him in Mondstat just to live a better life at all. As sweet as it may be, I actually think that's just Kaeya's hopeful thinking. That's why he "thinks he made a clean break with his past". His mind tells him that he probably has nothing that Khaenri'ah or the abyss order might want. A reasonable conclusion because they haven't contacted him- in fact, he was the one doing the interrogating.

That makes me nervous for him though...

Even if it is to free him from his history who tf leaves a child in one of the strongest storms (where he almost dies in), tells him that he will be a spy for Khaenri'ah, and gives him the pressure of being their "only hope"?! Damn dude, if you really want to give him a better life maybe don't give him a last minute multiple trauma gift.

Dain probably crumpled a bit of Kaeya's said hope by straight up mentioning that Kaeya is a descendant of the Abyss Order's founders (I knew the Alberich last name had a damn purpose! Being the birthright successor to the Abyss Order is a big deal and literally a power move! Names have power!!!)

(((Random thought but I wonder if Kaeya could start his own faction- an alternate Abyss Order where he leads as the birthright heir where they go against the Abyss twin near the end? It would be a major decision to lead the order after all, he would have to leave Mond for it, and I'm sure that Dain would prefer to side with him on this one if it is a faction made to counteract the Abyss twin's actions)))

His heritage being such a big deal that they had to mention it in an Archon quest is very iconic for his 4-star starter character ass. They had to make sure everyone knows about it and now Kaeya's lore is gonna get more speculations and scrutiny. Good. I'd still argue that he has one of the best lore in the game- easily in the top 5.

Final thoughts for now, but Dainkae having that enemies to friends to lovers energy is very funny to me. Kaeya asking Dain to go drinking with him someday is *chefs kiss*. Dain is right to be wary of Kaeya though. The fact that Kaeya felt him watching is definitely telling of how perceptive Kaeya is (reminds me of the cutscene where Diluc is introduced, and when Diluc attacked from behind him, Kaeya didn't even flinch). Dain probably realized that Kaeya also purposely avoided him in Mondstat as well since Kaeya knew of him ( I don't think Dain would avoid someone who is blatantly using "Alberich" as a lastname).

Oh wait! One more thing! But is Kaeya actually immortal? (where they stop aging once they reach a certain age) or is he only half-Khaenriahn? (if so, why wasnt he turned into a hilichurl? Do they get a free pass?...but so far, he is the only regularly aging Khaenri'ahn we've met...)

I knew that the more lore drop he gets the more questions will be added. damn.

[saanjhghafa]

Hello there! I hope you are having a nice day so far.

I have created a list of journal prompts that I’d like to share. You can answer them in your journal or, reblog and answer the questions you like or, just use them as conversation starters- whatever feels good.

So get your journal and a pen. Get all comfortable in your bed or your desk with a warm blanket and a cup of chai or coffee. Snuggled up, are we? Let’s begin!

1. What made you a krishna devotee? How old were you?

(This question is just to make you recall the beginning of your sweet love story with him. I’ve come across some people who feel a lil embarrassed to answer this question cuz they think they became a devotee “too late”. He chose you and he came in your life at the right time. So, rest assured. <3)

2. How will you describe the bond that you share with krishna?

3. What are the nicknames that you have for him?

4. Write down three things (could be situations, people, random acts of kindness, nature- anything) that reminded u of him today

5. Have you ever been angry at him?

If yes, then what was the reason and what did you do after? ( it might sound childish but it’s ok to have such feelings. After all it’s natural to get angry at someone you love.)

6. If u enjoy cooking, write down a list of foods u want to cook for him and feed him.

7. Write a list of songs

(or make a playlist) that you sing for krishna. That you dedicate to Kanha in your heart. The lyrics that remind you of him and how you can’t stop blushing when you think of him. <3

Feel free to share the playlist.

8. Lastly, take a moment to relax and reflect.

Reflect about how you have become a happier and calmer person because of Krishna. The positive changes that have occurred in your life and how it’s so peaceful to have him by your side. 💛

Thank you for joining in! I hope this was comforting and fun. Take care. Hare Krishna 🫂

[joesmemes]

THINGS SAID IN THE GROUP CHAT SENTENCE STARTERS

Assembled by @sheenathehyena.

I gave you a beach house now be normal

It's just so fucking ridiculous it circles back around to being poignant

I'm fine but what an inconsiderate toolbox

the fucking white boi who is trying to "find himself" that you meet all of once at the beginning

Yeah you want me to shoot my baby batter all over you cover you with almost - children

YOUR PLANET'S HOPE IS SONIC THE HEDGEHOG'S TRANS ASSHOLE

Not sure how to feel about talking to actual fucking yakuza members for entertainment purposes

On a scale of Balan Wonderworld to Silent Hill, how are you dealing with your trauma?

Roses are red, violets are blue, singular they is older than singular you

Concerned Ape noises

You ever think about the fact that [name] really said "the birds work for the bourgeoisie" & they were right

My patience for slipping over improperly spilled blood has run out.

If you can see the bones of your whipped pupil, you failed.

You know the healer's oath: Only do moderate harm to those who cross you.

Man I don't know if lack of shame is a blessing or a curse.

Parsooth m'lady but would you be so kind as to partake of the exquisite past time of role playing?

So they aren't DENYING the piss kink

uhm you need to be more of a doormat…..your boundaries are making me uncomfy 😦

That's HARLEQUIN NOVEL descriptors of sex

where is my mouse arrow? where is it holy fuck

fetishize urself ig

It's always people with feet fetishes or fat fetishes that be so open about it

Look at this unhinged mother fucker

Fuck you I hope your pice of shit family burn in a dumpster fire

Sorry you had to overshare about a tough time with some random chick in school but it's not relavent to my cat at all.

We're at a sword store and it's full of exactly what you'd expect.

Nobody was reading Lemony Snicket going "teehee they made Count Olaf bitch sauce"

Wikipedia I love you but your donation pleas sound like a lying teenager begging for money online

There's no right way to look at the guy that tossed his baby off a cliff and say "I think he needs to look cool for a minute there" is all I'm saying

Okay, wonderful. GREAT, take them all. Please leave immediately

one time I ran a server and I was being weird so I changed literally everyone's nickname to Frank

AKGHDLK I'm gonna SOB they asked if they could share their ticklefics

heavy meals always make me HONK MIMIMIMIMI

I found a fucking book of Mormon lmafo

lemme go take a dump and ill set it up

THREE. THREE TIMES. HE'S BEEN ARRESTED FOR INSIDER TRADEING THREE FUCKING TIMES.

tell her it was you who farted, establish dominance

I have been hoarding vidya games for the three of us to play like a dragon

Nearly had a heart attack because I was poopin and saw blood but realized it was my period

Ok we need to get a big cardboard box and a vaguely feminine scarecrow dressed as a boyfriendless girl

Puts my head in your lap like a cat

Some Filipinos wanna buy your titty mousepads

the chris chan trials are about to be the depp vs heard trial for people who had unrestricted internet access at a young age

Now u will screenshot us talking shit and put it in the callout 😭

GUYS I NEED PROOF THAT [name] IS GAY TO STICK IT TO A 19 YEAR OLD ALT RIGHT IDIOT

🙂 our fursona is gonna b friends with sonic

I both love and hate [name]’s writing. How they go from ancient purple prose to “oh shit oh fuck”

i guess you could say…. this was a triumph

[cherliin]

the sims 3: celestial legacy challenge conversion 🌙🌌

yet another conversion for the books! the original made by jvniperanite for the sims 4 can be found here. as usual, I will use the original descriptions with minor changes. this is very long, so I will continue updating it with time.

you will need nraas master controller to increase/decrease skill levels!

✧˖ ° MAIN FEATURES ✧˖ °

Generational events: These are the various events that you should play out before you move on to the next generation, as they will influence the endings and therefore the next generation’s story!

Random events: You need to roll dice for various random events in each life stage. It’s one of the core features of this challenge! Decide if you want to do it once every season, once every two weeks, or just decide according to the pace of your game. Link for dice and the list of events are provided at the bottom of this post.

Generational goals: You can move onto the next heir only when the generational goals are met, regardless of the heir’s age.

Endings: Now every sim has different imaginary funerals based on how well they have lived! There could be multiple endings for each generation; ok, pleasant, grim, and [REDACTED]. You’re not expected to check every requirement for an ending, just keep track of whichever you’re closer to.

Hauntings: As your old generation will meet their demise, their hauntings will have an effect on the next heir. These are the characteristics that your legacy parent left you with. You will need to use cheats to apply these effects.

Zodiac houses: Each generation can gain significant benefits from focusing on the corresponding areas representing the zodiac houses. For example, Aries benefits from the fitness skill as this zodiac sign is placed in the First House of Self. But Taurus, being in the Second House of Possessions, benefits from being rich!

Bound traits: Right under the short description of your heir for the current zodiac, you can find the bound traits for each generation. You may raise an heir by selecting these necessary traits, leave it to chance or cheat to get them.

Unique experiences: All zodiac heirs need to have their own unique experiences; you can find them under the bound traits. If you don’t pay attention to these experiences, the heir will be “cursed” by the corresponding god.

Curses: Each generation can suffer from various disadvantages if you don’t pay attention to the unique experiences, which you will see as different curses from gods. These can happen more than once, so try to pay attention!

✧˖ ° RULES ✧˖ °

Create a starter sim, they should be a young adult and have the bound traits that are specified in the generation section. Otherwise, you are free to create every other detail.

Lifespan can be set to whichever setting you want, but auto-aging should be on for everyone. You can use the official gameplay items/elements to lengthen your lifespan but cannot be immortal.

Purchase your first home however you want; on a 64x64 lot, with starter funds, or rags to riches… Just don’t use cheats for this one.

You need to play your current generation according to the requirements for each ending or hope for the best. You can try to check every box to reach your selected ending, or let things roll naturally and see at the end which ending you’ve come closer to. If you’re eligible for more than one ending, you can choose as you wish.

After the legacy parent dies, use cheats to give your heir the necessary effects from the hauntings. If you happen to develop a new trait, replace one of the old traits as stated. If the heir is not a teenager or young adult yet, you can wait for when they’re eligible to get the haunting.

Choose your heir by selecting the bound traits for the next zodiac as they grow up, or create your own system.

The heir can continue living in the legacy home or move out; it’s completely up to you.

If the old heir dies before they can complete their goals, it may count as a failure in this challenge. Another way to fail is to not produce an heir.

✧˖ ° ♈︎ AGE OF ARIES ✧˖ °           g e n e r a t io n 1

You are a survivalist, coming from a place that you don’t need to remember anymore. Starting a brand new life is not easy but if anyone has the guts to do it, it’s you. You live in a simple way and focus on the moment. You love to start anything new and can’t back away from a challenge.

TRAITS: Hot-Headed, Daredevil, Adventurous

UNIQUE EXPERIENCES

Whenever you get an angry moodlet, you must be mean to everyone you talk to at least once for 6 sim hours, even if the moodlet disappears.

Participate in at least one competitive game (dart, foosball, console, etc.) per week and bet on it. If you lose, deduct §100 from your funds and play again. If you lose again, deduct twice the previous amount. This goes on until you finally win or go broke!

THE 1ST HOUSE OF SELF: If you master your Athletic skill, you can do skill-related activities like going for a jog instead of suffering from the experiences above. CURSE OF MARS: If you lose a competitive game 3 times in a row, you have to become enemies with all the other competitors. If you’re already enemies with them, your Hot-Headed trait turns into Mean spirited!

HAUNTINGS

None! You live without the burden of a past.

GENERATIONAL EVENT

THE FEVER Upon entering elderhood, you need to go on a wilderness sabbatical that will hold great spiritual significance for you. Survive with minimal resources for a week (feel free to be creative with that), and don’t be mean to anyone. If you succeed, gain the Brave trait. If you can’t meet the requirements, consider the event as a failure.

GENERATIONAL GOALS

☐ Have at least 5 enemies before you move on to the next generation: one in your family, one co-worker, one ex-partner, one ex-best friend, and one occult. ☐ Roll for at least 3 random events. ☐ Accept at least 3 different adventures/challenges.

ENDINGS

PLEASANT ENDING: Your funeral was filled with unique events that you’ll be proud of. You are remembered as a fiery soul who has never shied away from facing their own demons.

☐ You've mastered at least 1 skill ☐ You've completed a lifetime wish ☐ You've survived at least 3 big adventures ☐ You were not affected by the Curse of Mars ☐ You've succeeded in your generational event

GRIM ENDING: Your funeral caused some very mean interactions between the very few people that had come. You are remembered as a surly soul whose enthusiasm was always clouded by AAA

☐ You haven’t mastered any skill ☐ You haven't completed a lifetime wish ☐ You haven’t survived at least 3 big adventures ☐ You have a bad relationship with more than 1 family member ☐ You've failed your generational event

✧˖ ° ♉︎ AGE OF TAURUS ✧˖ °           g e n e r a t io n 2

You are a sensual being, with a refined taste for everything luxurious. While your family struggled to create a brand new life for you, you revel in the comforts of this stability. You have a need to feel secure and steady. You are very possessive of what’s yours and always want more.

TRAITS: Avant garde and Natural cook

UNIQUE EXPERIENCES

Whenever you eat a meal that’s at least great quality, you have to follow it up with a dessert. If you skip dessert, distract yourself by buying a new outfit and deduct §250.

You have to have a date every week. If you skip, woohoo with at least two different sims in one day!

THE 2ND HOUSE OF POSSESSIONS: If you have at least §25.000 in your funds at any time, you can purchase an item worth at least §1000 instead of suffering from the experiences above. CURSE OF VENUS: If you skip dating for two weeks consecutively, you have to get in a big fight with the sim you have the highest romantic relationship with. If you have no romantic relationships, your Natural cook trait turns into Slob!

HAUNTINGS

PLEASANT: You will have +2 levels in Athletic and Charisma. You inherit §10.000 after your legacy parent dies. You gain the Fertility Treatment trait from the lifetime rewards store (go to the Lifetime Rewards tab and hold down ctrl. Click on or around the treasure chest until you have the necessary amount of points)

GRIM: Your Avant garde trait turns into Snob and you dislike fitness. After your legacy parent dies you have to pay §2500 every week to close off their debt, for three weeks. If you can’t, sell your most valuable items for each week.

GENERATIONAL EVENT

C.R.E.A.M. Upon entering elderhood, you need to indulge yourself in various pleasures for a whole week. Each day spend at least §500, eat three perfect meals, and woohoo at least once! If you succeed, gain the Never Dull and Attractive traits from the rewards store. If you can’t meet the requirements, consider the event as a failure.

GENERATIONAL GOALS

☐ Have at least 4 children (one set needs to be twins). One of the twins will be your heir. ☐ Have 10 art pieces that are worth at least §1000. ☐ Grow at least 5 perfect crops. ☐ Never move away.

ENDINGS

OK ENDING: Your funeral passed in somber silence, attended by close relatives and family friends. You are remembered as a stubborn soul who never had the guts to cross certain boundaries, even if you had so much potential.

☐ You have less than §50.000 in your funds ☐ Your home is worth less than §75.000

PLEASANT ENDING: Your funeral took place on a particularly sunny day, with a delicious feast in your honor. You are remembered as an indulgent soul who had their cake and ate it too.

☐ You have at least §50.000 in your funds ☐ Your home is worth at least §75.000 ☐ You are good friends with at least one of your grandchildren ☐ You were not affected by the Curse of Venus ☐ You've succeeded in your generational event

GRIM ENDING: Your funeral was attended only by your greedy relatives that wanted whatever was left of your little fortune. You are remembered as a petty soul who tried to bite off more than they could chew.

☐ You have less than §25.000 in your funds ☐ Your home is worth less than §50.000 ☐ You are not good friends with any of your grandchildren ☐ You were affected by the Curse of Venus ☐ You've failed your generational event

✧˖ ° ♊︎ AGE OF GEMINI✧˖ °           g e n e r a t io n 3

You are a curious case; mental stimulation and communication is vital for your being. While your parent’s aim was to create a stable environment, you revel in chaos. You are very impressionable to the extent that it is not easy to trust you in anything, and you simply can’t keep those impressions to yourself.

TRAITS: Genius and Social Butterfly

UNIQUE EXPERIENCES

Every week, you need to be disliked by your twin and then be at least friends. You’ll be in this never-ending cycle for your whole life!

Whenever you gain the fascinated moodlet, you need to argue with someone. If you don’t win, better yourself by focusing on your least developed skill for three hours and argue again. Repeat as needed. Flip a coin to see who won the imaginary argument!

THE 3RD HOUSE OF COMMUNICATION: If you master your Logic skill, you can pull a prank instead of suffering from the experiences above (link). CURSE OF MERCURY: If you break the cycle between you and your twin, you have to stop yourself from gaining any skills for a week as this dynamic was keeping your genius spark alive! If you haven’t maxed out a skill by this time, your Genius trait turns into Couch potato!

HAUNTINGS

OK: You will have +1 level in Cooking or Logic. You gain the Observant trait from the lifetime reward store. You need to roll for a random event when your legacy parent dies because that was just so boring.

PLEASANT: You will have +2 levels in Cooking and Charisma. You inherit §20.000 after your legacy parent dies. You gain the Extra Creative trait from the reward store. 

GRIM: Your Social Butterfly trait turns into Loner. You lose 2 levels of your highest 2 skills. You have to be enemies with your twin for at least three weeks.

GENERATIONAL EVENT

IS THAT ALL THERE IS? Upon entering elderhood, spend a week to master a skill that you currently have less than 5 levels and write a book about it. If you succeed, gain the Fast Learner trait from the lifetime rewards store. If you couldn’t meet the requirements, consider the event as a failure.

GENERATIONAL GOALS

☐ Do not master more than 2 skills. ☐ Reach more than 5 levels of at least 5 skills. ☐ Get a university degree (optional mod)

ENDINGS

PLEASANT ENDING: Your funeral was attended by half of the town, and they all had different things to tell about you. You are remembered as an inquisitive soul, with a sincere curiosity for everything and everyone.

☐ You have maxed out at least 2 skills ☐ You have reached more than halfway of at least 3 careers ☐ You have at least 10 friends ☐ You were not affected by the Curse of Mercury ☐ You've succeeded in your generational event

GRIM ENDING: Your funeral was attended only by your greedy relatives that wanted whatever was left of your little fortune. You are remembered as a petty soul who tried to bite off more than they could chew.

☐ You have not written any book ☐ You have not changed your career at any time ☐ You have less than 10 friends ☐ You were affected by the Curse of Mercury ☐ You've failed your generational event

[REDACTED] ENDING: Your funeral never took place, as you were recorded as a missing person. You are remembered as a lost soul who was innately as complex as the universe.

☐ You have maxed out at least 2 skills ☐ You have written at least 3 best-seller books ☐ You have less than 5 good friends and at least 5 enemies ☐ Your twin has died before you

RANDOM EVENTS

Roll a 10-sided die (d10) to reveal the event type! Reroll as needed. 

Click here for the virtual dice. Use cheats for various commands (kill, start a fire, etc).

Household events (1, 2, 3, 4) 

REROLL A 30-SIDED DIE (d30)

1. Reroll 30 for 3 more events: Have fuuun!

2. Adopt a child: Bring an infant, toddler, child, or teen into the family

3. Adopt a pet: Bring a pet into the family

4. Bad Romance: Have a big fight with your highest romantic relationship,  4.1. Roll 10: Even numbers they work things out, odd numbers they do not

5. BIG move: Move to another world

6. Family Vacation: Go out on a vacation for 2 days with the children and teens in your household

7. Cheater: Start an affair with the single sim you have the highest relationship with for a week. If you're caught, break up with your partner

8. Fail a class: Have a child or teen not do their homework until their grade is lowered

9. Female bonding: Send your female sims off to a vacation

10. Feast: Invite over your 5 closest relationships and serve 5 different meals/desserts

11. Friend and foe: Have your sim make a new best friend and a new enemy

12. Forgotten garden: If you have a garden, neglect it for a week

13. Baby boom?: Your sim has an indescribable urge to have children. Try for a baby and upon discovering the pregnancy, 13.1. Roll 3: The number you land on will be the number of children your pregnancy will contain (link)

14. Teenage dream: A child or teen completed a grade level! Throw a party with their friends!

15. Hairdresser day: Change your sim's hairstyle to be shorter than the current one and recolor it

16. It's not a phase!: Your sim feels the need to indulge in extremely dark/bright colors, and a darker/brighter lifestyle!

17. Lifestyle change: Change your sim's lifetime wish

18. Midlife crisis: Change your profession, severe ties with your partner or move into a new lot

19. Move-in: Have a family member outside of the household move in. Create them in CAS

20. Movie night: Order takeout and have a movie marathon with your household

21. Renovate: Delete all furniture in a room and redecorate

22. Runaway: Move a teen off the lot,  22.1. Roll 10: Even they return after 3 days, odd they do not

23. School trip: Send all children and/or teen off the lot for 3 days, deduct §1000 per child from funds

24. Sleepover: Have your child or teen sim invite over their closest friends. If there aren't enough beds, grab some mattresses and camp out in the living room or backyard. Snacks, drinks, and late-night gossiping or gaming competitions are highly encouraged

25. Simspeare: You've been hit by the writing muse and are itching to start a novel. Write a novel and see what the publishers think of your new talent

26. Tasty pepperoni: Order a pizza and have a sim woohoo with the delivery sim

27. Teenage rebel: Perform 5 mean interactions with a parent and stay out for 2 nights

28. Nothing happens!

29. Wardrobe Makeover: Change all of your sim's outfits

30. Nothing happens!

Career (5, 6) 

REROLL A 10-SIDED DIE (d10)

1. Change of plans: Start a new career

2. Demoted: Have a sim move down a job level

3. Dinner with coworkers: Have dinner with at least 2 coworkers

4. Fired: Choose a sim in your household to lose their job, whether that be through a coin flip or rolling a die. Have said sim stay home for 3 days before finding a new job

5. Holiday bonus: Receive §500

6. Project due: Have a sim stay awake until they finish a book on the computer

7. Promoted: Have a sim move up a job lever

8. Start a business: Purchase a retail store or restaurant

9. Working from home: Collect/Make things to sell ie: fish, plants, paintings, etc.

10. Nothing happens!

Financial (7, 8) 

REROLL A 13-SIDED DIE (d13)

1. Buy art: Spend at least §1.000 on art

2. Car/bike breaks down: Deduct §2.500 and since you’re using a taxi, deduct §250 every time you travel somewhere far

3. Compete on a game show: Receive §10.000 3.1. Roll 10 for celebrities: Even numbers gain +1 fame level, odd numbers lose -1 fame level (if there was any fame to lose)

4. Cosmetic surgery: Deduct §2.500 and change a sim's physical appearance in a major way

5. Donate to charity: Deduct §500

6. Major lawsuit:  6.1. Roll 10: Even numbers receive §10.000, odd numbers deduct §10.000!

7. Nothing happens!

8. Pay taxes: Deduct 15% of funds

9. Rats!: Deduct §2500 for the exterminator fee and throw away all of your stored food

10. School supplies: Deduct §2.500 for every child. If you can’t buy supplies for one of your children, become disliked by them!

11. Take an online class: Deduct §2.500, add +2 to your lowest skill

12. Tax refund: Receive +15% of funds

13. Won an online giveaway: Purchase a single item of your choice regardless of price (cheat money to have enough for it)

Illness (9) 

REROLL A 10-SIDED DIE (d10)

1. Amnesia: Have a sim forget all relationships. You can roll a die to decide which sim will be affected!

2. Break a bone: Sim cannot be active for 3 days, lower their athletic skill by 2 points

3. Car accident: Stay home for 2 days, deduct §1000,  3.1 Roll 20: 1 results in death

4. Food poisoning: Stay home for 2 days

5. Hair lice!: All your sims and anyone over at the time you rolled this now have short hair

6. Heart attack: Stay home for 5 days, deduct §5000,  6.1. Roll 20: 1 or 20 results in death

7. Just a cold: Stay home for 2 days,  7.1. Roll 20: 1 turns into a serious illness. Go to number 9

8. Root canal: Stay home for 1 day, deduct §100

9. Serious illness: Stay home for 5 days, deduct §500,  9.1. Roll 10: 1  results in death

10. Viral conspiracy: Add the neurotic or insane traits to your entire household for 3 days 10.1. Roll 20 for each sim in the household: 1 or 20 results in the trait becoming permanent (for your legacy sim, change according to the bound traits)

Disaster (10)

REROLL A 9-SIDED DIE (d9)

1. Burglar: Delete the 3 most expensive items on the lot (make an educated guess)

2. Earthquake: Part of the house is destroyed, delete/redo at least two rooms 2.1. Roll 20 for each sim in household: 1 results in death

3. Economic crisis: Anyone in your household who has a career is immediately laid off, 3.1. Roll 20: 1 results in bankruptcy, you have zero funds now

4. Fire: Start a house fire  4.1. Roll 20 for each sim: 1 results in death

5. Have you seen this sim?: Move a sim in your household off to another lot for 3 days,  5.1. Roll 20: 1 and 20 results in death

6. Nothing happens! Phew!

7. Tornado: House is destroyed (bulldoze the lot and delete half of your total funds), 7.1. Roll 10: 1 results in help getting to you late, you are homeless for three days before you can move away or rebuild your house

8. Pandemic: Your entire household cannot travel outside the neighborhood for 2 weeks except for jobs and school, 8.1. Roll 20 for each toddler and elder sim in household: 1 and 20 results in death (use master controller to force kill)

9. Unemployment Crisis:  9.1 Roll 10 for each YA and adult sim in household: Even numbers lose their jobs

yall im so tired ill continue working on this another time but for now have 3 generations and all of the events you'll ever need! please let me know if I missed a change!

[platinumrosetail]

May and tepig!reader platonic headcanons

Prompt:y/n is wild tepig that somehow got to different region

May find y/n when they were stuck in

Tree

May love them and decided to keep them

Edited: so I believe I can actually do this, some possible ideas came to me late so that’s why, and hopefully I can do either close to 7 paragraphs or all 7 paragraphs.

Warning: noob author, gn reader (I’m guessing), and others.

Character: may.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had accidentally traveled on a cargo ship from unova to hoenn when you escaped from the lab where starter Pokémon usually meet their trainers.

Reason why is because none of them spoke to you and so you’ve made it hard for the trainers that came by to start their journey to pick you as their starter.

You were fascinated by all the new Pokémon that you never seen before in person; as you and the other starters seen on the tech in the lab.

Your attitude quickly changed as you were soon targeted by some random predator Pokémon which resulted in you hiding in a tree burrow and eventually getting stuck.

You kept on struggling and making many noise to hopefully attract the attention of a Pokémon that would be kind enough to help you; and won’t eat you in the end, or a human that could help you when passing by your stuck form.

May, Brock, ash, and max was all having a picnic and eating when Brock heard a Pokémon cry that sounded like it needed help, so he quickly alerted the others and they searched for this Pokémon in need.

May was the one who found you and noticed that you were stuck, she eventually got you out and healed the scratches you got from the tree you were stuck in and by running away from that predator Pokémon. You didn’t know what it was about her; maybe because she saved you, but you wanted to be her Pokémon and follow her, which excites may as she never seen a Pokémon like you before and believes this would help in or contests as well. She soon learned you were a tepig, one of the three starters for unova by talking with professor birch who contacted professor juniper and got the information about you from them which she thought was fate that you chosen her instead of the many other trainers.

(A/n: ha ha! I’m so glad that I was able to do this after all, though I wished the idea came sooner when this was still in draft lol, also maybe add a bit more detail to your request so this doesn’t happen again ok? Anyway hoped y’all like it and hope y’all have a wonderful day/evening/night!)

[drifloonz]

Hihihihi, If you’re okay with me requesting something, can you maybe write Steven and/or Mike (separate if you write them both plz :DD) with a Reader that somehow managed to become a Champion with only like.. A Blastoise and a Charizard on their team where they got from god knows where? If it’s possible, can it be written after Miki’s death yet before Mike’s death? For some reason I find it funny to imagine a random trainer with only two starters on their team absolutely wrecking everybodys shit,,

can do! i was originally gunna assume u meant write as in like write an actual short story but then i realized u said to make them separate so. HOPEFULLY you did mean a sort of bulleted headcanon shortform post more than an Actual Piece of writing. which honestly if so good im not that good at writing short stories quickly or efficiently. hopefully these r good bc i didnt know much of what to write.

these are platonic which i hope is okay. anyways, this feels lackluster but i hope it suffices </3

anyways, steven and mike with a champion who only has blastoise/charizard!

READER

( this is just stuff and headcanons for the reader that add additional context or backstory bc i wanted to also think abt them as a character a bit, but whether you accept these or not is up 2 u lol )

• you probably got both a charmander and a squirtle from professor oak because somehow he gained more starter pokemon this year than he needed, and they were too rowdy to handle. therefore, you got two, since somebody already took the bulbasaur of the new batch of starter mons. who? idfk. maybe your rival if you have one.

• your two starters are at odds at eachother a lot, but in the end they do get along, they just tend to bicker. sort of like siblings ( lol ). playfully competitive with eachother.

• both of your starters are fucking powerhouses and nobody knows why - they probably evolved early and are naturally stronger than other starters - either that or you're just a particularly skilled trainer. this isn't undocumented, after all there did used to be a charizard who was a powerhouse. But you know. Used To.

• if you're the champion of kanto, which i'd assume that's the case, you either fought mike, lance ( bc tbh mike after the incident would've probably also willingly refused to become champion again after steven retired from the role after the incident ), or someone entirely unrelated ( like your rival if you have one ). your choice tbh.

• this is something i just considered After finishing this but if you also grew up in pallet town you probably actually knew steven and mike and were even friends with them which isnt written in any of these but thats a spin on it you can think abt if you want to. imagine if you were and you named your respective starters after both of them that'd be so awkward

STEVEN

🔥 dude this mans depressed as hell rn and i think when he hears or sees you with the starter he chose and with the starter his brother who he couldn't stand to think about right now chose... he just goes "The audacity of this bitch." in his head.

🔥 ok not really he's not that rude but it does remind him of himself and mike... both in positive and negative ways. you remind him of himself before the incident, which makes him sort of long for that kind of thing back. but hey, if you become the champion, it means the league would probably get off his back and hopefully forget about him. which is good. ( if you're even the champion of kanto. )

🔥 he didn't really know anyone else who had a charizard other than him, so seeing your own charizard made him remember miki. which of course, made him even more sad at the thought. he's really just processing several things and your presence complicates it for him a little... has complex feelings about you despite not really talking to you. if you did happen to be the champion of kanto, you'd've fought mike or someone entirely different, not steven, since he released all of his pokemon - and even if he didn't, he would never want to stay the champion without miki... so he didn't really know you, probably - but you may've seen him during one of his regular Depression Roams around the region, or even bumped into him, since he didn't really have any spacial awareness when he takes aimless walks around kanto like that. he'd just mumble an apology and move on, probably. if you were one of those trainers who often had your pokemon follow you, he'd probably just wordlessly stare at both of your starters, especially your charizard, and then excuse himself and walk off a little faster.

🔥 he finds you beating the elite four and the gym challenge with only two pokemon impressive but he also essentially did the same thing*. he still finds it impressive its just... you did things similarly to him. you reminded him of too many aspects of his life and it felt weird.

*its technically implied that steven had more than miki on his team in the pokepasta but i like to think it was mostly for hms, possibly pokedex stuff, and progression, so he basically solo'd kanto w miki

🔥 although if you become good friends with steven, somehow, he will become very friendly with you and your two pokemon. obviously, your charizard would never replace miki... but having one to pet and play with did help out with his depression a little bit. he thinks miki would've liked your pokemon if she were still here. the two's sort of playful rivalry between eachother also reminded him of himself and mike, and furthermore miki and... whatever the hell mike named his blastoise.

🔥 honestly you being there if you did befriend steven did... surprisingly help him a lot? it didn't make everything suddenly better, but having a real alive charizard, even if it did sort of remind him of miki, made him smile a little. he appreciates your presence and sometimes invites you to just take a stroll around with him. he didn't have any pokemon and all pokemon oddly avoided him, but with you around they seemed to no longer do that... maybe they realized he seemed to feel better? sometimes he just idly plays with the wild pokemon when he's around you and bored. he possibly even catches one as Emotional Support. i like to think it's an eevee bc its technically a starter and im biased.

🔥 if he were in a better mental state he'd probably brag about how miki could take both of your pokemon on despite having a pretty clear disadvantage. he'd probably be right tbh miki was built different, but it'd be a close battle were it to ever happen. he wishes he met you earlier.

🔥 assuming you did befriend him, fun fact you probably helped him enough for him to not eventually go find a missingno at the dead of night and also snap mikes neck. this is a win. he's still pretty closed off, depressed, and awkward, but he's at least trying to get better now.

🔥 if for some reason you wanted him to he'd essentially babysit your pokemon for you. i don't know why they'd have to be babysat, they're grown starter pokemon and they're possibly the only ones you even have ( which would be dangerous to go without ), but hey the offers open ( he just wants an excuse to play w them to get things off of his mind tbh. )

🔥 randomly gifts you lemonade and coffee, which he has a startling abundance of. it's an excuse for him to throw away all the gifts people give him because he does not want that shit ( ... mostly. he keeps a bit of the coffee ).

🔥 if you're around steven, you'll be around mike at least a couple of times. steven intentionally avoids mike nowadays, but you'll probably cross paths, especially if steven invites you to his house.. mike appreciates that you hang around his little brother a lot, and will sometimes talk to you, but will immediately try to leave the conversation when he hears or sees steven. so . Woops. steven probably also shittalks mike to you sometimes if you ever bring him up but he'll probably never explicitly mention The Incident, just imply it ( eg saying things like "...Don't keep your Charizard around him." or something ). he doesn't want to talk or think about mike, especially not around you.

🔥 he takes fucking terrible care of himself. he probably has spent a week / multiple days in the pokemon tower in front of miki's grave and he barely sleeps or eats. i think your blastoise and charizard would also notice this and like push him to a bed or try to nudge him berries or something. please make him eat he rlly needs it.

🔥 overall he thinks your interesting, but you remind him of a lot of his life before the incident... which makes him nostalgic and sometimes a little sad. but he grows used to it.

🔥 the steven section of this is literally just him going "Man. This reminds me of Miki and Mike and that makes me feel shitty." and im sorry abt that bc i didnt know what else to add (*&^% steven's not in his best state rn so its harder to write him having any sort of reaction that isnt like that </3. i tried to make it a little more lighthearted at the end but ya

MIKE

💧 mike on the other hand is slightly less depressed ( slightly ) but he still got pretty scarred from the incident. he still tries to be his same energetic self but that is clearly a lot more faltered than it used to be. he usually stays home a lot more often, while steven goes out a lot more often to roam the region and pay his respects.

💧 he thinks you having both a blastoise and a charizard is dope! Unfortunately, it also reminds him of miki because god knows seeing that charizard die right in front of him due to his persistence did negative things to his psyche. i think he's even more dodgy and awkward around your charizard than steven is since steven absolutely blames mike for that whole thing and he knows that and also sorta blames himself. he's afraid he'll hurt yours as well.

💧 HOWEVER. with the blastoise. he'll be like "SAME STARTER???" and hi-five you and he'll let you twos blastoises play w eachother. they get along suuuper well which hes happy about.

💧 he also thinks you being the champion is funny in a sort of morbid way since you straight up just have both him and steven's starters, so the pokemon league effectively had a replacement for both of them. obviously steven and mike had more pokemon than those two, but those were their aces. which, he guesses worked out. he didn't intend to become champion again because he really wasn't in the right mindset for it anymore, so that's fine w/ him.

💧 since he did not release all of his pokemon like a certain someone ( sorry steven bullying you is funny ) nor had one of them die he can fight against you and happily will. mostly to take his mind off of things

💧 he's also been taking horrible care of himself similar to steven, just in a bit of a different way - sleeping in too much and not eating that much. he feels guilty if you help him out with this but its appreciated if you do. just your presence helps, though.

💧 steven is sometimes hanging around, usually against his own will - he'll catch you two doing something together, and he'll also probably see your charizard sometimes. it sort of pisses him off that mike can just Go on with his life and be happy ( mike isnt entirely happy, he's just doing better ) after he "murdered" miki. aaaand that makes the whole atmosphere tense and reverts mike to being a little dodgy and nervous again. the only thing the younger brother has ever said to you is something along the lines of keeping your charizard away from mike. Sibling drama moment ig.

💧 due to this steven's kind of a dick to both of you if you chose to hang around mike. thankfully, steven's usually out nowadays to pay respects to miki's grave and roam the region aimlessly, and he isn't often even in his and mike's shared home anymore. if you try to hang out w them both equally it would make everything so awkward and tense between the two and they'd eventually fight over your friendship, probably - the person starting that being steven, since mike's content with him also being your friend even if it's awkward.

💧 loves to tell you the tales of his adventures. he loves recounting his happy memories and events of his adventures, the pokemon he caught, and battling steven - even if steven sort of hates him nowadays. he'll encourage you to swap stories and tales from both of you twos adventures since he's very interested in how you yourself handled the gym challenges.

💧 unfortunately choosing the Mike Path ( trademark ) will probably make steven eventually kill him still especially if in this hypothetical you don't really talk to or care abt steven much, so take that how you will. that's angst material that im not writing bc this post and all posts i make are already too long.

💧 there is also a chance that you hanging around mike ( especially if u also hang arnd steven ) might make steven just straight up not do that due to the fact you'll probably be around, or in the best option possible he sort of reconciles with mike a little and slowly gets less and less vengeful about it because of you being friends with the both of them. having a third party who didn't just pity the two and offer them apologies and items was helpful, after all. he'll still be very awkward and mostly negative with mike though, just not As much.

💧 overall mike is very happy to find someone to talk to since steven sort of... stopped being social with him or anyone. he finds your methods interesting

i feel like these were sorta lackluster bc its hard to tie in this prompt when both of the brothers are in Depressive Episodes but i hope my attempts were good ! ( also god i really have to condense my writing but i almost physically cant ) anyways ty for requesting - wispy

[bigshot]

Okay, I'm feeling brave and that means it's time for a brand new permanent starter call!! Isola muses only, please!

In addition to this more traditional ad, I set up a google form for if you want to get more specific than just liking the post! I just really like the idea, ok? (it's been edited slightly since earlier today to fix a mistake I made, I meant for everything to accept multiple answers)

Anyway, liking this post means that it's okay if I:

Like your rp ads

Send you memes & asks

Respond to those memes / turn them into threads

Maybe toss a random starter your way (with heads up, of course!)

BUT WAIT!! THERE'S MORE!!

FRIENDS & ALLIES ☎️ Spamton craves the attention or company of others, he's really an incredibly lonely little guy! Anyone who shows him genuine kindness is already well on their way to being considered a friend of his, but it can take time for him to trust it as the genuine article. He's been abandoned before, so expect a little a little bit of clinging! Being his friend saves you the hassle of nearly every conversation being a sales pitch and nets you a very energetic little pal for whatever hijinks you wanna get up to!

REPEAT CUSTOMERS ☎️ Spamton has a serious knack for finding what people really want to buy, but you have to tell him! He's always been terrible at the whole guessing part of the algorithms. Whether you want something totally mundane, a specific kind of job done, or something that's a little far from being legal, he's generally willing to find or do it for the right price! Hell, he'd even let you kick his ass for enough money. Just be careful if you're looking to befriend him, too... he might just think you're using him to get a good/safe deal.

PEERS & COWORKERS ☎️ And this can go in reverse, of course! If you're willing to put in the work, Spamton has a shady pawning business running in the background and he's always looking for contacts, gophers, or general help and he's willing to pay some fair wages! Additionally, if you're a business owner, he'd love to talk about work or numbers or even set up some kind of partnership if you've got the need for anything from fencing & laundering to getting rid of excess stock.

ENEMIES & RIVALS ☎️ With a temper as short as he is has, it's easy to set him off in new and explosive ways! He's a fun person to mess with if you're the teasing or bullying sort and capable of throwing down if a scrap is what you're after, just don't expect him to play nicely. But go too far and he won't have any qualms about going after a life, he knows death doesn't matter here!

ANGELS & RELIGIOUS FIGURES ☎️ Spamton has an... interesting relationship with religion. I believe he follows something akin to what the Lightners do in Deltarune, which I guess I'll call Angelism since it hasn't been given a name that I know of, and has a sort of reluctant reverence in regards to those same Lightners and the sun. He's... his own thing? Whatever he's worshiping, it has enough of the same aesthetics that he'd feel comfortable visiting any similar churches. Even though he did try becoming a God/Angel once. Catch him on Sundays offering prayers to The Angel!

Speaking of, if your muse is an Angel... well, good luck getting him to see them as anything other than near-gods... or call them by name, really. But he'll still talk to and treat them normally, given that he at least understands that they're not his Angels, especially if they don't throw their Angelic weight around. Expect reverence towards the humble or friendly and deep conversations or straight up arguments for the more intense or righteous. He's half hoping for favors or social status, but friendship isnt out of the question

ROMANTIC INTERESTS ☎️ ..... good luck?

[spacecadet-ticklesinspace]

ok this is really random but it just popped in my lil brain

Imagine the Peters chilling on the couch, and Peter 2 is sending One memes lol. One is holding his phone up on his tummy, so whenever it vibrates it tickles hIM AND HE JUST GIGGLES SJDGJKAKDH THEN TWO AND THREE CATCH ON AND ARE LIKE ☺️😂

THEN THEY CATCH HIM AND GIVE HIM ACTUAL TUM TICKLES AND RASPBERRIES EHEHEHEHE

I has a sentence starter based off of this idea ❤️“Oho my god, theheres no way.”

maybe two making fun of the fact he’s so easily tickled? :) lers! Two and Three and Lee one doyy

have a great day!! <3

I have an adorable idea of a drabble where Peter 1 receives some tummy nibbles because Peter 3 is hungry and Peter on is just loving it

(I had to put these two together! They were just too perfect together ❤️ I had a little too much fun writing this one 😅 and I hope you enjoy Anons! Have a great week! ❤️)

"Thehers no way!"

Peter 1 turned to Peter 3. "Whahat?"

Peter 3 reached forward and snagged his younger brother's phone.

"Hehey!"

Peter 3 pinned the youngest's arms before placing the phone back on One's stomach with just enough time to catch Peter 2 send another meme.

When the phone vibrated as Two's message was received, the youngest giggled and squirmed.

"There's no way!"

"What are you talking about?" Two asked.

Three grinned at his older brother. "Send more."

The oldest furrowed his eyebrows, but prepped another meme to send.

"Wahait!"

But Peter 2 sent the meme before he heard the youngest's request. The phone vibrated again, and Peter 1 giggled again.

Both older brothers beamed at the discovery.

"How did you find this out?" Two asked.

Three smirked. "I watched him do it."

The youngest turned bright red as both his older brothers turned their attention back on him.

"Is someone in need of some tummy tickles?" Two teased.

"M---m---mahaybe?" One replied as his face became even darker.

Both Peter 2 and 3 grinned.

The next sound out of One's mouth was a squeal as he was pulled up and across his brothers' laps. He giggled nervously as his shirt was rolled up.

"I don't know about you Two, but I am famished for tummy," Three teased.

"Whahat!"

Two chuckled. "I'll let you have the first taste dear brother."

"Why thank you brother."

Peter 1 squealed as Three nibbled at his tummy. The feeling of the nibbles were both torturous and amazing at the same time. They made ticklish tingles shoot across his tummy and his legs kick out.

"Aww, he's a kicker," Two teased.

One covered his face with his hands. The older two treated him like a little kid whenever they tickled him.

It's not that he minded, but it still flustered him just the same.

"Uh-oh, someone's blushy," Two cooed.

"SHUHUSH!"

"Then stop being so cute."

One snorted and flinched when Three nibbled near his side.

"Ooo, sweet spot," Three sang as he nuzzled into that same spot.

The youngest became a squealy wiggly mess as his older brother tortured his stomach. Then a snort slipped out.

"Awww" Peter 3 cooed into his younger brother's stomach "hi spider piggy."

One's blush darkened and his squirming grew from Three's teases.

Three lifted his head to grin at the blushy mess his younger brother had become. "Awww, wook at youw. Youwr the cuwtest wittwe wiggwe wowm, yes youw awre!"

"Shuhuhush!"

"Mowe wike giggwe wowm," Two added.

"Nohot yohou tohohwo!"

"Not until you stop being so cute." The oldest booped his younger brother's nose.

One groaned through his giggles, but the grin never left his face.

"Look at the cute little face too," Three cooed as he pinched One's cheek. "It's awl bwushy."

One groaned again and pouted. However, he squeaked when a hand rested on his tummy.

"His blush is probably from all the giggles trapped in his tummy," Two added.

"Oh no, what can we do!" Three played along.

"We have to give them a way to get out." Two placed one finger at the top of One's tummy. "And I know how to get them out."

"Oho noho."

Two's finger slid down the middle of One's tummy. "We have to make a little cut right here, and then wiggle into here to get them out."

One squealed loudly as Two's finger wiggled into his belly button. He then dissolved into a pile of squealy giggles.

"Lohook how many you got ohout," Three teased.

"I know, it must horrible for your poor tummy to hold them all in."

"NAHA! JEHERKS!"

"Jerks! And after everything we did to help your poor tummy? I am shocked," Three teased.

"Some people are just ungrateful like that," the oldest replied.

Suddenly, an evil idea crossed Two's mind. He playfully pulled on his finger. "Oh no! I think my finger is stuck."

"NOHO IHITS NAHAT!"

"Yes it is," Two teased as he bounced his finger up and down. "See how stuck it is. The giggles are keeping it trapped."

One squealed again.

"Don't worry!" Two exclaimed as he bent down. "I know how to get it loose."

The oldest blew one raspberry next to the youngest's belly button.

"AHH!"

Another one was blown under his belly button.

"NAHA!"

A third was blown on the other side of his belly button.

"EHHH!"

"Almost there." Two blew a fourth one above his belly button.

"PLEEEEE!"

"And one more."

The oldest quickly slid his finger out of One's belly button and blew a big raspberry into the youngest's belly button.

The loudest squeal yet left the youngest's mouth and his laughter bordered on silent.

"There we go. The giggles have let my finger go once more," Two teased.

Peter 1 responded by playfully shoving at the oldest.

"Aww," Two cooed while gently kissing his younger brother's nose.

"Someone's having fun," Three teased.

One covered his face again. He was having a blast.

"Now let's see." Two placed his hand back on the youngest's stomach. "Oh? Still seems like we have some giggles trapped in there."

"Don't worry little one!" Peter 3 wiggled his fingers. "My wiggle worm friends will get them out."

One squeaked and broke into light giggles as Three skittered his fingers across his stomach. The lighter tickles were more relaxing after the more intense tickles.

"See? My wiggle worm friends are finding all the hidden giggles," Three teased.

The youngest snorted.

"And the snorts," Two laughed.

"Meheanie!"

"I'm not mean! I just love you sow much," Two cooed and kissed the youngest nose.

One pouted at his older brother.

"Aww, you're cute when you pout like that." The oldest started peppering more kisses and some coos into the youngest's face. "Yes you are! You're so cute!"

Peter 1 squeaked at the loving attention.

A cold object was placed on his tummy. "Hey One, I have a message for you."

The next instant, his phone started continually buzzing on his stomach as text after text were sent. Not enough to make him cackle, but definitely enough to make him giggle and squirm.

"Whahat ahare yohou dohoing?"

"Saying I love you so you won't forget."

One giggled at his older brother's antics. He was enjoying it, but it was wearing him out super quickly.

After a few more minutes of tickling, the older two began to wind down the attack.

Peter 2 gently moved the phone away. "I think our little Bug is done for the night."

One yawned.

Three lifted his hand to his ear. "Hold on, I have a real call. Hello? . . . Sleepytime train? . . . One rider coming up."

The youngest giggled as his older brother lifted up the youngest's discarded blanket and wrapped him like a burrito.

"One package ready for delivery," Three teased.

Two wrapped his arms around the youngest. "Gotta handle with care on the journey."

One's eyes began to slowly close. "Mmm, not a . . . package."

"An adorable package."

If he had been more awake, he would have groaned in response. He might have also told Two to stop rocking him like a baby and Three to stop gently stroking the blanket over his legs. He might have even groaned at the old lullaby Peter 3 started to hum. For now, he was too content to do any of those things.

And probably wouldn't stop them even if he could.

[bleue-flora]

Okay, so I heard you wanted to answer some questions so...How about 2, 4, 7, 16, 23, 56, and 73?

(Sorry if it's a lot, you don't have to answer them all if you don't want)

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Most of the time I write chapters and then determine the order and/or if I have to break it into multiple chapters. Sometimes I play scrapbook with random bits of writing I have and put those into a more cohesive chapter. Frequently, I’ll have a plan for like a set of chapters as far as what I want them to be. So a bit of both I guess.

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Everything?… I mean for starters I have a list that’s made up of words I come across and think I can use later. Sometimes I’ll experience something and it’ll spur a writing section like tasting iron and writing a whole segment on blood. The most random things may inspire me to use as a description or metaphor like watching grass on the side of the road get pushed by the wind. Sometimes quotes from movies I’m watching or elsewhere inspire me. Sometimes an idea comes directly from a person intentionally or unintentionally. Comments can often spark something. Watching old dsmp streams for research is when I’ll sometimes catch a detail I didn’t before. Reading other fics can fuel new ideas. And sometimes I’m just delirious at 3am and decide that Quackity should crucify Dream… XD

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

It’s usually framed by the story or idea and often because I have specific thoughts I want the character to have.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Good question, which I answered here. It seems great minds think alike.

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

Not sure I have any business giving advice since I’ve only been writing fanfics for about a year now. But I’ll say this, don’t push yourself into writing if you can’t. Writers block happens and inspiration or creativity aren’t always available, which is ok. Those skills aren’t concrete like being able to pull out your calculator and do math or drive a car or brush your teeth. It’s a process and it comes and goes. I think everyone goes through it in one sense or another, but that doesn’t mean you have to let it beat you. Understand it is inevitable so no need to panic or apologize or give up. Instead, read other people’s works, talk to other writers for ideas, go enjoy life or any of the things I mentioned in 4. Inspiration will come again.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I’d say it’s hard for me to pride myself in general. I write because I enjoy it not because I necessarily think it’s good (that requires confidence, which I don’t have XD) I’ve been told that my descriptions are very captivating and help the reader feel and see it in their mind, so probably that. People also tend to appreciate my dialogue which I try to make as real and accurate as possible even if that means lots of stuttering and filler words.

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

My insanity?…. Lol I mean, come on who else is writing hopscotch torture or making nutrition labels for their works? XD… For real though, I think my more flowery poetic style of writing isn’t standard. Someone once accused my chapter of being written by AI which I thought was both highly insulting and hilarious, because honestly my writing doesn’t follow the laws of grammar or story telling, like what do you mean you think a robot wrote this nonsense lol. ;)

[gogtopia]

hi Jules I just finished reading ur dnf baseball fic and it was really really epic and fun and emotional I enjoyed it a lot I’ve grown up surrounded by baseball and going to mlb games but have never been interested at all either watching or playing like it just wasn’t smth I could get into but ur fic fr just helped a lot w understanding the fundamentals and potential passion and stuff that goes into the sport which I think is really cool I’ve reads lots of sports aus in diff fandoms but this was the first baseball au and I liked it a lot also I lovedddd gnfs characterization ough I need to hug him ok sorry for the random paragraph I loved ur fic a lot ok that’s all love u goodnight :3

ACE THANK YOU SO MUCH <3<3<3 it's a fic that really meant a lot to me to write so i'm glad it could be somewhat meaningful to you too. and the gnf comment specifically means a lot to me bc i loveee how i wrote him in this au specifically

i had a few other plans for that universe that have kinda been derailed by cc drama or whatever including a sapnap centric fic that i started writing already LOL idk if i'll resurrect this project in some capacity and change things around but here's the first scene of that fic since i like it a lot and george is fun in it

Sapnap is quite literally living the dream. If the 11-year-old version of himself could see him now, just ten years later, his jaw would drop to the floor in amazement. Who would’ve thought that the short nerdy kid who they shoved behind the plate because nobody else wanted to don all the equipment every inning would be here now— the starting catcher for a Major League Baseball team?

He hopes all the kids that used to shit on him when he was younger are eating their words every time they turn on ESPN. Realistically, they’re probably just using the fact that they went to school together as a fun fact during company icebreakers, having forgotten about their years in school together entirely.

It’s been three years since he was crowned Rookie of the Year in a hectic season that changed his fucking life but most of the time, he still feels like he’s on top of the world. Last season was probably his best so far and he feels pretty good about this season, even if it’s nearly June and his batting average is barely breaking .260. He can do better and he’s going to. If he really applies himself, he can still break .300.

And, as much as Dream claims he has the yips, he doesn’t. There’s no reason for him to be having any sort of performance anxiety, not when everything has been going so well. He gets to play with his best friends in the fucking world, including George who is like his baseball soulmate and there are little kids in the audience wearing jerseys with his name on the back that genuinely look up to him as an openly bisexual athlete in the MLB.

He plays for them, really. As much as Sapnap loves the game, he also likes that it gives him a chance to be a role model for kids that might feel alone as he did, especially for the queer kids that need to know they have as much of a place in professional sports as everyone else.

In the years since Sapnap and his friends have been out, plenty of other players across the league as well as in other sports have followed in their footsteps. They’ve made a difference, solely by being themselves. It’s kinda epic, as George might say.

Except, of course, when it isn’t.

They’re playing the Yankees because of course it’s the fucking Yankees, which means that the ballpark is fucking packed. They always pull a bigger crowd when they play New York. Something about big cities being connected or something like that.

Even though the Yankees are damn good this year, they’re up 3-0. It’s not a surprise really. Not when George is on the mound, their top starter by far now that he’s really hit his stride in the league. Even if he’s already pitched four innings, he doesn’t seem all that tired and he’s still throwing strikes, so it seems like he’ll have a few more with him.

It’s one of the Yankees outfielders that says it, some tall guy that hits good enough to validate his fucking ego, and he whispers it under his breath, just loud enough for Sapnap to hear.

“Surprised his hand hasn’t given out yet,” he mutters. “Gotta be tired from stroking Dream’s tiny dick all night.”

For a moment, Sapnap glances back to the umpire, who had surely heard what he said since it’s pretty packed around the plate. The ump looks at him with a frown, as if he’s disrespecting his time with the mere act of glancing back over such fucking brazen unsportsmanlike conduct.

Fuck that. Sapnap motions for a time-out and steps back from behind the plate, running toward the mound.

Dream shoots him a questioning look from third base and he waves him off. He can feel his coach glaring at his back, probably confused as to why he’s calling a time-out while George is still on top of his game.

George furrows his eyebrows when he got there, shoving the ball into his glove. “What’s the issue? I thought I was pitching well. One single this inning isn’t enough to take me off the mound.”

“It’s not that,” he tells him, glancing back at the batter for a moment. The asshole is fucking smirking from his place on the plate. “Fuckface over there said something douchey.”

He snorts and lifts his cap for a moment, running his hand through his short hair, which has gone a little curly with sweat. “You don’t need to tattle on annoying batters to me, Sapnap. What am I meant to do about it? I’ll try my best to strike him out, just as I always do.”

“He said your hand must be tired from stroking Dream’s dick all night.”

George’s jaw tenses and his free hand balls up into a fist. It’s definitely not the first time that he’s heard this sort of thing— not even the first time that it’s happened in a game— but usually, it comes from leering fans rather than players who have reputations at stake. “He said that?”

Sapnap nods. “Yeah. And I believe he called it tiny.”

“Well, he’s simply incorrect about that part. I’d bet $100 that Dream is more gifted than him down there, so to speak,” George says with a cursory glance at the guy, making Sapnap wrinkle his nose. He wants to get George pissed off so he’s more motivated to strike this asshole out, not hear about his other best friend’s dick size.

“Just strike him out for me,” Sapnap says, patting him on the back. “And for Dream.”

“Sure.”

George purses his lips and something unreadable crosses his eyes. Sapnap hopes that he didn’t accidentally make him nervous rather than motivated. Confidence is an essential part of George’s success as a pitcher. He doesn’t choke very often but it’s almost always because he gets stuck in his own head.

Sapnap runs back behind the plate and crouches down into that familiar stance, signaling the next pitch to George. A curveball.

Except, George doesn’t pitch a curveball. With fire in his eyes, he sends the ball hurtling directly toward the batter and, when he tries to jump out of the way and dodge it, it slams straight into his back, making him scream out in pain.

“Oops!” George calls out, loud enough for anyone in the infield to hear. “I suppose my hand just got tired or something.”

A medic and the Yankees coach start running onto the field to check on the batter, but he ignores them, stalking toward the mound instead and drawing his hand back. The batter, in his full muscular 6’2” glory, punches George squarely in the face before he has a chance to duck out of the way. George stumbles back and nearly falls to the ground, barely sticking out a hand to catch himself in time as blood drips from his nose, small droplets of crimson littering the dirt on the mound.

“George!” Dream shouts, running toward him from third base. George jumps back up and punches the other player in the jaw before he can reach him. George is generally a pacifist, despite being a shit-stirrer with his friends,  and it takes a lot to piss him off. The fact he threw that pitch in the first place is shocking. But physically fighting somebody? Sapnap has never seen him like this in their three years of friendship.

The runner on first starts to get into a screaming match with Punz and suddenly, Yankees come piling off the bench with gritted teeth and wild eyes, rearing for a fight.

The guy on deck comes for Sapnap and, even though he has a few inches on him in terms of height, Sapnap is the stockier guy. He throws his helmet on the ground so he can see better and tackles the guy to the ground, throwing a punch at him that barely hits the dirt instead of his face.

The Yankees player uses the momentum from the punch to flip them around so he’s on top of him, straddling his waist in a way he might find erotic if it wasn’t some ugly second baseman that sprays a little spit out of his mouth every time he yells, and he throws a punch of his own, which Sapnap is barely able to block with his arm before thrusting his knee up into his gut. He hopes the plastic from his leg guards make it hurt just a little bit more. Now that he’s been roped into an actual fight, his catcher’s gear feels a little bit like armor.

The player winces and falls backward, allowing Sapnap to stagger to his feet. He looks out to the field for a moment to see if they’re winning this brawl.

It’s a fucking frenzy. Half of the players on both teams are throwing punches at somebody and pretty much everyone else is screaming and swearing. Dream is desperately trying to pull George away from his particularly nasty rumble while another Yankees player tries to pick a fight with him at the same time, only to be absently swatted away. There are definitely no winners here right now: just blood and obscenities being hurled all over the place.

Sapnap turns back toward the guy he was fighting just quick enough to see the first hurtling toward his face. He isn’t able to stop it this time and the hit sends a burst of pain flashing through his face as he falls back onto the ground with a puff of dirt rising up around him.

A sickening smile spread’s across the guy’s face and he’s about to reach down to hit him again when the umpire started wildly blowing his whistle and pulls the guy off by the back of his shirt.

Once the rumble simmers down to a mixture of shame and dirty looks, the umpire points toward George and motions for him to get off of the field even though the batter was the one to throw the first punch. The stadium boos him loudly. It isn’t fair that George is getting booted from the game but the guy who threw the first punch still gets to jog over to first.

George is covered in dirt from head to toe as blood drips from his nose and seeps into his black jersey, invisible save for the few droplets that hit the 17 stitched onto his chest. Even though he should be pissed off, he snatches his hat off the ground with a wild grin. George turns toward where he knows a camera is fixed on him and winks, blowing it a kiss as he struts confidently off the field.

What the fuck? Dream mouths to Sapnap as he marches back to third base.

Sapnap waves him off. George’ll explain it to him as soon as he gets back to the dugout anyway, even if that might be a while, judging by the mediocre pitcher that’s being tasked with relieving him.

[vorthosthewillis]

Welcome to my Legends Arceus nuzlocke attempt!

Before I really get into it, let's go over the rules. In a basic nuzlocke, you only catch the first pokemon on each route, (and no dups unless the og had died), you have to nickname all your pokes, and if a pokemon faints you cannot use it anymore (considered dead). The issue here is how do I decide what a route is in Legends? Well, after consulting with some friends, it was decided that each named area on the maps counted as a route, and for each area I would pull up a list of all available pokemon in said area (I've gotten to Arceus in my og run, so there's nothing to spoil for me looking that up), and roll a random number generator. Each region can also generate rifts later in the game, and for those, it will be the classic "first pokemon I run into". Shiny pokemon are always game, but that rule became irrelevant for my run given I never got the ponyta mission.

Also, a few original rules due to the unique nature of Legends Arceus. Pokemon can attack you in this game, and npcs talk about how dangerous it is out there, so if any pokemon successfully knocks me out in any context, I consider it game over - I'm pokefood. There's also the Boss pokemon battles in this game. In those, I'm on the line, sure, but given I've played and beaten this game before, I need to make it more of a challenge. In addition to my life on the line in each boss battle, I have to use at least 2 pokemon in each fight as well. I bring these rules up because both become (painfully) relevant during this series.

So with all that out of the way, time to begin our tale.

Part 1: Bittersweet Beginnings

As I'm dumped into the world, I get my choice for the starters. In my og run, I choose fire, and this time, I go water, naming my oshawott Azure. Ridiculous amounts of tutorials later (Including where Azure demolishes Volo), I dump the 3 pokemon the game forces you to catch, and enter the Obsidian Fieldlands.

I quickly hit some nearby areas for more pokemons, and acquire a bidoof named Nutmeg, an eevee named Adapt, and a cascoon named Mom Shipton (a reference to a moth species). Nutmeg almost falls to my rival, but she pulls through to beat him, and Adapt narrowly finishes off Mai's munchlax. My first boss battle is coming, and I need to train. I catch a geodude named Diorite and a zubat I called Lilith. Mom evolves, and suddenly I have a team of six, and am feeling ok.

This is when I go into the first boss battle, against the alpha music bug. My plan is to use Mom Shipton for this - she's got higher defenses than the rest of my team (except for Diorite, but I'm hesitant to use him due to the bug having Absorb), as well as Aerial Ace, which should be super effective. The battle starts, and immediately that music bug uses Aerial Ace against Mom. She hits it back, and both Mom and the bug are below half health. And here's where I made my first mistake this run. See, (getting technical for a second), if the enemy pokemon can "see" a kill, they will always use the move that can kill. So, I assumed the music bug would use Aerial Ace again, so I decided to pivot into Diorite, and hope I could kill the bug in one move next turn before it could use absorb. However… in Legends, they added Strong style (which is a stronger but slower attack), and Agile style (which is a weaker but faster move). If a pokemon can see multiple ways to kill, like this bug could due to Strong style attacks, the attack chosen is random. So as I switched to Diorite… music bug used a Strong style Absorb. Diorite never stood a chance, and with that my first death happened. Frazzled, I use the opportunity for a free swap to bring in Lilith, whose speed and stab with Aerial Ace makes sure this bug goes down. The sun set as I buried Diorite, and I made camp. Day 2 will bring the Kleavor boss battle, and I'm not ready.

Upon waking up, it's time to grind. I catch some more pokemons, including Cordyceps the paras, who gets added to the team, and train hard, evolving both Azure and Nutmeg. I beat Lian and Irida relatively easily, and am prepared for the Kleavor battle, I hope. My team is currently:

Azure (Dewott), lvl 20

Nutmeg (Bibarel), lvl 18

Adapt (Eevee), lvl 18

Mom Shipton (Dustox), lvl 17

Lilith (Zubat), lvl 17

Cordyceps (Paras), lvl 15

Going into this, the two pokemon I'm using are Azure and Nutmeg, who with their water moves should definitely hurt Kleavor. And so I go in.

I duck and dodge, landing several hits before Kleavor smacks into a rock, stunning him and allowing me to throw out Nutmeg. It's a rough fight, but she succeeds, knocking it down, and I'm moving again, hitting it hard. Soon enough though its up and moving, I'm dodging and throwing, and then its time to bring out a pokemon again. I go to throw out Azure… only to realize I never switched my pokemon. A battered and wounded Nutmeg jumps out, and Kleavor shoots a rock shard straight through her. I Raged. Throwing out Azure, I took down Kleavor again, and unleashed balm after balm until it finally calmed down. Irida praised my efforts, but it felt hollow. Nutmeg was my second pokemon, and had made a reputation for herself by constantly getting into trouble but squeaking through. Not this time though, not this time. Rest in peace, my crazy Bibarel.

Before I went to the next region however, I did go to more of the areas on the map to get more pokemon. There's not much to report here… until I went to the waterfall. I rolled the flying gyarados, and I had 5 feather balls. Caught it in 1! Gari was the newest member to my team, and strong to boot. It was time to move on… time to go to the marshlands.

Fieldlands completed.

Teammates:

Azure, Adapt, Mom Shipton, Lilith, Cordyceps, Gari

Teammates lost: 2

Diorite, Nutmeg

Total Teammates lost: 2

Diorite, Nutmeg

Next Time: The Last Dance of Mom Shipton

[yakumtsaki]

Thought I’d let the year change without updating this?? So did I. Quick recap or check the most recent updates if you don’t remember anything: a) we unleashed Spymaster Spainot and Magus Olivia onto the populace, earning various war crime achievements b) Liz divorced her third wife, hot golddigger Consort Linotta to get back with Piratefu c) Piratefu iconically rejected both of Liz’s re-marriage proposals d) Liz sunk even deeper into tyrant madness going on yet another execution spree e) our kingdoms stats are once again absolute shit.

So taking the above into account, I could think of no better time to go after the time consuming, pointless, and insane Legendary Doomsword achievement, which is the biggest bullshit ever and I never managed to complete it last time I played TSM. HOWEVER I’m thinking I’m older and better at this game now so it’s gonna be ok! I mean truly these stats speak for themselves:

For those of you haven’t played TSM, the Legendary Doomsword needs two parts to be crafted, the blade and the hilt, both of which can only be found at the bottom of the beast pit, so you have to jump in there, survive, and hope you hit the jackpot and get the random rare event that gives one of the parts. 

Once you have the parts it’s not even a sure thing that you’ll be able to craft it, but let’s worry about that later, because our hopes rest on resident lover of goblins and haver of the ‘puny’ fatal flaw, Blacksmith Chester, so I doubt he will be surviving this, no offense Chester.

-OH GODS, WHAT CRUELTY THAT IT IS MY BELOVED CHESTER WHO HAS TO CRAFT THIS BLADE

Now that you mention it, Goblin-husband, Chester has to craft it but he doesn’t have to be the one to jump in the pit, we can send you instead and take the parts from your inventory? I like your chances way better seeing as you’re made of metal.

-No, no, this is Chester’s quest for glory, I couldn’t do this to him!

-Actually I’m really scared-

-Scared of not being immortalized for your bravery, I know, darling. 

-Ok.. ok.. HERE I GO

I believe in you Chester!!! And don’t worry, I have you saved in cas, so if you die I’ll bring you right back! Or well, you know.. a clone version of you.

-Well what are the chances of me dying on the first try, I’m not even wounded!

Definitely, you’re gonna do great!

............................ok then.

You know what this is fine, let’s just get the deaths out of the way and eventually we will succeed.

We’ve been at this for a while now, but I’m sure Chester 4.0 is gonna fare much better than his predecessors. I thought maybe if we buy some meat to feed the beast before jumping in it’s gonna be less ravenous, increasing our chances of survival.

Good, good, Chester 4.0, establish a bond with it, very How To Train Your Dragon!

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK THIS 

It’s gonna be ok, just stay calm!!!

OH GOD IT’S HAPPENING, IT’S HAPPENING!!!!!!!!

HELL YES WE PICKED CORRECTLY!!!!!!!!! GREAT JOB CHESTER 4.0!!!!!!! 

Chester 4.0?????

GODDAMMIT FML

Ok clearly when you have the ‘puny’ fatal flaw this shit is a non-starter, it’s too bad four Chesters had to die for me to accept that but better late than never. It’s time to outsource this to someone else..

..namely possessor of the ‘herculean’ legendary trait and fiddle addict Commander Edward.

-Can’t this wait, I’m serenading the waves here!

I’m sorry Ed, you’re cursed with being the only competent sim in this kingdom.

Good, with both armor and herculean trait there’s no way you’re dying!

-I LIVED BITCH

Ya you also didn’t find anything, in you go again.

-First, a quick 20 minute ballad.

The emergence of your artistic side is ruining my life.

So Edward has jumped in a good dozen times now and still nothing, I’m starting to wonder if this shit is coded in some way where the more likely you are to die the more likely you are to also get the event??

At least we go this achievement!

-Ok enough for today, I’m grievously wounded.

Great, lower survival chances, maybe you’ll get the event finally! Jump back in!

-This sword is not worth my life!

Agree to disagree.

-I don’t know how to tell you this, Edward, but several of your bones are so broken that they have, for all intents and purposes, disappeared. 

-Really? Oh well, what can you do..

-You can stop jumping in the pit.

Shut up Donius, Ed loves jumping in the pit! Just sew him up and let’s go.

-He’s in no condition to walk!

He’ll be fine! He’s a lion! A bear! 

-A squirrel!

Yes! Wait what?

-He’s concussed, he’s just naming animals!

Ya ok Middle Ages M.D, whatever. Let’s gtfo Ed.

-Ok Beast, time to meet your maker!

You go Ed!!!

FFS WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO TO GET THIS FUCKING EVENT

-Allow me to respond in the form of this song I composed in the pit entitled ‘Time To Face The Facts’.

Ya I refuse to accept a world exists where CHESTER gets the event and you don’t. One last jump, come on. 

-I have no more bones to break.

You won’t break anything, 50th time is the charm!!!

OMG OMG

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

ILY EDWARD I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT

-Here, you little twerp, take your goddamn blade and fuck off. 

-Uh that’s great sir Edward, but I’ll need the hilt too-

-Tell it to someone who still has the majority of their skeleton. I’ll be at the clinic for the rest of the decade.

Limping back to you, ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few?

As Edward recovers, it’s time to send in our next pit-jumper, recently dumped loser Spymaster Spainot, who has nothing to live for and thus I feel less bad about endangering. 

-That’s not true, I have a kid!

No you don’t, Rodolfo took her when he left.

-Oh ok, that explains why I haven’t seen her in two weeks. 

Thanks for proving my point. Now during Ed’s 50 jumps I realized that wearing armor is half the battle, and subsequently assumed that if I bought Spainot one he would wear it before jumping in, but that clearly is not the case.

-Spies don’t need armor! It limits our flexibility. 

Ya ok it’s been great knowing you.

-HIYAAAAAAAAAA

Oh brother.

So Spainot gets this chance card on his first jump and I think I’m about to eat my words-

-but it turns out to be.. one of the beast’s babies??? WTF

Ya I really don’t know how I feel about us stealing the beast’s baby, it’s bad enough we’re always jumping in and bothering it, this is animal cruelty.

-It’s a miracle! I’m a father again, Beast Junior is my new child!!!

Ok sure, now why don’t you sleep this insanity off and we’ll try again tomorrow.

Tragically our subsequent jumps are massive flops, we’re not getting the event and the lack of armor is really fucking Spainot up-

-Tis just a flesh wound.

Why can’t you just wear your stupid armor??

-I told you, it would only slow me down!

Ya slow you down from DYING. Just go to the clinic, I’ve had enough of you. It’s time to turn to the last character in this kingdom who owns an armor..

..God help us. What are we up to, Liz? Literally fiddling while Rome burns?

-Nothing is burning! I’ve outlawed fires! Even for cooking!

No, I meant metaphorically because of our stats and you know..

-Know what?! There’s nothing wrong with our stats, they’ve never been better!

Right, sure, ok. On a different topic, how would you feel about putting on your majestic armor and taking a nice trip down the pit?

-Sounds fun!

Well that’s very brave of you.

-There’s nothing to fear, the beast would never bite the hand that feeds it all that treasonous scum. What if I die and the next monarch is sane?? It would starve!!!

Ya I don’t think the beast understands the chain of command when it comes to executions-

-Of course it does, you’ll see!

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT

-Ah, that was a nice stretch. So, we done here?

HOW TF DID YOU GET THE BLADE ON YOUR FIRST TRY WTF

-What, like it’s hard?

I’m legit speechless, I guess you really have a connection with the beast??

-Well I told you! Fist bump? 

👊

Honestly Liz you did such an iconic job here that the only appropriate reward is for you to marry yet again! And on a semi-related note which is definitely not my main motive, we’re one spouse away from the 4 marriages with the monarch achievement! What do you think?

-You know there’s nothing I enjoy more than getting married! And I know just who to marry..

Oh, the Mercenary Lady of Advorton! Good pick, she’s pretty hot.

-Is she? I didn’t really notice, I just need someone to protect me from my bodyguards, they keep ‘accidentally’ trying to behead me.

-Dearly beloved, we are gathered here, as usual, for Empress Elizabeth’s monthly wedding ceremony. If you’re here to place bets on how long this one will last, please see attendant Golda.

Ah, everything’s coming up BackupKingdom2! 

Ok, showtime. Chester 5.0, no pressure but if you fuck this up you’ll be joining Chesters 1 to 4, you have your super special hammer that was also a nightmare to craft so no excuses.

YAS. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS. FINALLY

-Wow, I can’t believe a humble blacksmith such as myself gets to wield this legendary weapon :)

LOL awww Chester 5.0, that’s adorable, it is OFC going to Edward to a) thank him for carrying this shithole kingdom on his back b) complete his look since he already owns the Doomplate. 

-Oh God, the power, the incredible power..

You deserve it, Ed! Let’s take this badboi for a duel test drive, we just need a worthy opponent..

..and I can think of no one better than Olivia’s wife Nyrexis, the literal human form of a dragon! This is gonna be the most aesthetic duel ever.

OH FUCK YES, this ensemble is so cool it was full on worth all the trouble. 

And Nyrexis’ dragon sword also gives off a purple smoke aura like the Doomsword, LOVE IT. GAME OF THRONES WHO

But apparently no magic sword can surpass the simplicity and effectiveness of a good ol kick in the balls. Girlboss move, you go Nyrexis!

Completing this seemingly impossible achievement has left me with such a sense of optimism about our future, now we can focus on improving our stats and I truly feel everything is gonna be ok-

-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA JK. Join us next time for the thrilling conclusion to the BackupKingdom2 saga!