#Homemade Body Soap

[northbirdblog]

Easy Recipe to Make Your Own Laundry Detergent!

Costs next to nothing, and does a wonderful job leaving your clothes clean and fresh!

[enepicorganicsposts]

[scentofsagittarius]

Please follow the link to answer my 10-question survey to help me perfect my business!!!

Free testers available..

[zanygamer25]

I feel like a luxurious moisturized baby seal that smells like a tropical fruit smoothie I love fancy soaps

[cuteandhughesy]

A Wonderful Christmas Time | William Nylander

summary: you and william living through the christmas eve traditions with your kids - as well as frantically preparing for santa's arrival. (dad!willy)

3.1k

warnings: SFW! pre-established relationship | children | dad!willy | mom!reader | christmas eve shenanigans | suggestive comments

a/n: based off this request! merry christmas eve!! my present to you is another highly requested willy fic 🥰 also there’s 360 of you now, which is insane…I love you all omg <3 I’ll see you guys on new years for a quinny fic

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

"honey you can't play with the ornaments." your tone is warning but gentle, gathering the attention of your daughter, lennon.

she giggles, plopping down in her diaper covered butt beside the tree. lennon smiles her two toothed grin, big round eyes looking at you with nothing but joy.

you smile from the couch. "yeah i'm talking to you lenny baby."

the 1 year old laughs again—that adorable baby belly laugh than never fails in making you join in. she's not long out of the bathtub, with damp blonde hair flat against her head and wrapped up in her candy cane onsie. lennon grabs onto her toes through the soft material, rocking forward slightly. "ma." she gurgles, reaching towards you.

that is all it takes for you to get up, making your way towards the christmas tree—decorated in various coloured and homemade ornaments—and pick lennon up under her arms, pulling her against your chest. you kiss your daughters chubby cheek three quick times, igniting another round of baby giggles from her tiny body. "should we see what daddy and lukey are up to? should we go see?"

she snuggles into your neck, smiling at the mention of her dad and older brother. you bring yourself up the stairs, bare feet barley padding on the carpeted flooring. you reach the landing and the familiar sound of your husbands voice, followed by your sons sweet laughter ring in your ears.

rounding into the warm and blueberry soap scented bathroom, your smile widens even further. luke reaches towards william, the water just merely missing the side of the bath tub as he bounces up. he covers your husbands face in scented suds, creating the illusion of a big white beard—very fitting for the day.

"you look like santa daddy." he laughs, small hands continuing to pile more bubbles on top of william's already full beard.

"ho ho ho." your husbands mimics father christmas's deep rumbling slogan, leaning further over the the edge of the grand bath tub to nuzzle your sons neck, transferring the bubbly mess to luke.

you watch with an amused expression as luke's laughter increases, squirming away from the bubbles and the scratchy feeling of william's beard. then his bright blue eyes find you standing against the door frame, and instantly he's distracted. "mummy!"

william looks over his shoulder, and the sight of you and lennon has him grinning wildly. "hey you two."

"hello my boys," you hum, walking further into the vintaged decorated bathroom. "how's bath time coming along? you getting clean lukey baby?"

"i'm not a baby mummy." your 4 year old is ever the sassy one, crossing his slippery arms over his tiny chest. "i'm a grown up." although his attitude drives you up the wall slightly, his little lisp and side eye makes it a little more on the cute side.

you snicker. "oh are you now?"

"yeah. i'm the grown up and lennon is the baby." luke points a finger in your daughters direction, and with that momentary attention on her, lennon squeals happily, fisting your pyjama top in her chubby hand.

william quirks a brow in luke's direction. "santa doesn't come to grown ups lukey."

he gasps loudly, eyes widening to a comical state at his dads words. "okay, Im a baby!"

it seems that lennon has realized her dad is crouched by the tub in front of her older brother, and she instantly starts whining, her chunky little arms stretched out as she asks for william.

"mummy, when's santa coming?" luke questions.

you put lennon down between your bare feet, sitting her on her bum. she doesn't stay, immediately crawling towards your husband while babbling his name happily.

"not until you're sleeping, bub."

he pouts, "but what if I want to see him?"

"that's not how it works buddy." william sighs gently, scooping lennon into his arms. "his magic will go away if you see him."

luke gasps, eyes wide with panic and unshed emotion. "I don't want his magic to go away daddy!"

you coo, joining your husband and daughter infront of the tub, getting down to your knees. you mimic your sons pout, reaching out to run a hand over luke's wet, curly hair. "it's okay bub."

he leans into your touch, blinking up at you with his wet eyelashes. luke's always looked identical to his father, meaning it's always been hard for you to be mad it him—but you're working on it. "we just gotta make sure we get into bed soon! so santa can come and bring you and lenny some presents."

that seems to do the trick, and a smile pulls at his tiny rosebud lips. "okay mumma."

you help luke get out of the bath and wrap him in his favourite blue dinosaur towel, holding him in your arms as you help dry him off, as well as keep him warm. taking baths in the nylander house was never such an event, but as soon as luke turned 4, he decided that you and lennon could no longer share bath time with him.

you really weren't going to argue with him about something so insignificant—so separate bath times it's been.

"you've such a good boy this year, lukey." you mumble into your sons chubby cheek, pressing two kisses against the flushed skin. "I love you."

"I love you too mummy, but we have to put the cookies out now." his serious deadpan stare up at you has you giggling, and you nod quickly.

you get luke dressed in his matching candy cane pyjamas before taking him downstairs—joining william and your sleepy daughter who'd previously slipped back to the fire lit family room.

"baby do think santa wants chocolate chip or oatmeal? what should we leave out?" you eye luke from across the kitchen island, an empty santa plate between you.

"I think santa wants chocolate chip." william says enthusiastically, holding lennon in his strong arms. she's practically asleep now, blinking dangerously slow against his chest.

you send your husband a warning look, to which he sends you a quick wink.

you look back at luke, who is leaning on the counter top with a thoughtful finger to his chin—something you often do that's he's adorably picked up on. "mhmmm..can we ask uncle alex?"

"why do you want to ask uncle alex?" you question with amusement, brows pulled together tightly.

"because he's smart." luke says matter of factly, looking at you with a curious expression.

william snickers. "that's going to inflate his ego."

you shake your head, a gentle smile pulling at your lips—you already know your brother-in-law will absolutely eat up his nephew's statement.

"lukey, uncle alex is sleeping right now. but I think you're smart too and you should pick the cookies."

"okay," luke chirps, "chocolate mummy!”

william leans down and presses a firm kiss against his sons damp hair, clearly feeling at peace with luke's cookie choice. "good pick baby."

you help luke put two cookies on the plate, reminding him multiple times to not eat the cookies himself, especially before bed, which proves to be a bit of a broken record—but you get there eventually. luke takes the plate and glass of almond milk over to the coffee table, barley keeping the milk from spilling over the rim as he roughly places them down.

right before finally getting luke to head in the direction of the stairs, he turns back towards you and william with wide eyes. "daddy! we have to put out the reindeer food!"

aryne tavares had seen the cutest DIY reindeer food craft on pinterest a few days ago, and the two of you got a bunch of the leafs kiddos together to make some before santa and the reindeers arrival. luke's been so excited for days about the damn glitter oatmeal concoction, and you're surprised he's only just remembering it.

you look towards your husband. "yeah daddy, you gotta put the reindeer food out."

after william bares the freezing cold christmas eve temperature and sprinkles the magic food mixture on your front step, you finally get luke into bed. your read him a holiday book while william gets the rest of the unwrapped christmas gifts from your linen closet, bringing them to the living room for your last minute wrapping session.

as you finish the last line of the book, you watch luke's eyes flicker closed, some much needed sleep taking over as he goes limp against the lightning mcqueen pillow.

you slip out of the dark room and tiptoe down the stairs, joining william and the rather large pile of gifts by the couch. you exhale loudly, hands on your hips as you asses everything. "you're on tape duty."

he groans. "I hate tape duty."

your pout is exaggerated, walking towards him and wrapping your arms around his sweater covered waist. "awh baby, you'll be okay."

30 minutes later and what feels like a hundred presents later, william groans for the 10th time, falling backwards against the shaggy rug beneath you. "ugh my back is killing me." he peeks over at you. "how do you do this every year?"

you slide the scissors down the holly printed wrapping paper. "i'm very flexible."

a boyish grin tugs at his lips. "yeah you are."

you look away from the present and over towards your dramatic husband. despite your cheeks burning red at his insinuation, your give him a deadpanned stare. "willy."

"I think we should take a break." he hums.

you sigh gently, folding the paper over a box full of ella nylander's favourite sephora pieces. "honestly as much as I'd love a break, it's quite literally christmas eve, babe. these presents gotta be wrapped."

he pushes up to his elbows, looking at you pointedly. "my family doesn't need their gifts wrapped."

you laugh. "yes, they do."

"fine—but if I strain my back and can't play...i'm giving staff your number." he teases you, sitting back into a proper position, fingers fiddling with some bows spewn across the rug.

"yeah yeah, pass me the damn ribbon."

thankfully you're only wrapping gifts for another 20 minutes, wrapping a beautiful velvet ribbon over every single one. you're sure your limbs will punish you for the extra ribbon work tomorrow morning, but the perfectionist in you doesn't care about that with how aesthetically pleasing the gifts look.

you make william drag out the bags full of presents for luke and lennon, passing them to you while you put them next to the christmas tree, ready for the morning.

you've definitely spoiled your two kids for another christmas now, but you and william can't help it—this time of year is so special and magical, and your kids are so well behaved that it's hard not to get them lots of things to celebrate another year.

hours after you would've liked to go to sleep, you're finally walking up the stairs, william hot on your trail, when you suddenly stop, a low groan rumbling through your chest. "the cookies."

his head hits your butt in exhaustion and defeat. "fuck me."

—

"santa came!" the shrill squeal of luke is the first thing you can register, tired eyes blinking open in the dim room.

beside you, willy groans, rolling onto your side of the bed under the warm covers.

luke pushes open your bedroom door, bare feet smacking against the hardwood as he runs towards your bed. "mummy! daddy! santa came." he slaps his hands on the side of the bed, a command that he wants up.

usually you'd work on his method of asking, but not today, his haste much understood. you gasp loudly, sitting up so you're able to lift him onto your and william's shared bed. "what? are you sure?"

he giggles, crawling into your lap. "yes!" subconsciously he starts playing with the buttons on your pyjama top, something he used to do when he was a baby.

"oh my goodness." you grin, gently tickling his sides. "well should we get up and head downstairs?"

he squeals again, and the sound is like gold—instantly walking you up. "yes mummy!"

beside you, william sighs sleepily, pushing up on the mattress into a sitting position. his smile is lazy, hand pushing back luke's crazy hair.

"daddy, it's christmas!" you're quickly forgotten about, luke sneaking over to william's lap and cuddling into his shirtless chest.

"I know buddy." he smiles, kissing his head.

"let's get your sister first, lukey. and then we will go downstairs." you chime gently, already pulling the covers back to slip out of bed. luke follows suit, sliding belly first off the tall mattress.

lennon is already awake when you open her door, holding onto the crib railing as she bounces on the mattress. she makes an adorable cooing noise as you greet her, gummy smile making an appearance as you get closer.

as soon as you all make it downstairs, chaos ensues. it's a mess of ribbon, bows and teared  wrapping paper as luke quickly opens all his presents. although the mess is a bit overwhelming, it's overshadowed by the joy of watching your sons face full of excitement.

at every present, luke will stop and bound over to your husband, gift clutched in his hand. "daddy can you open this one?" or "look at this one daddy!"

and everytime william shows the most enthusiasm, making that christmas magic linger as long as humanly possible.

"look daddy I have a hockey stick just like you!" luke jumps up and down in one spot, practically vibrating with excitement as he holds up his brand new hockey stick from santa.

he'd been begging for a 'big boy stick' for almost a year, and william thought this christmas would be the perfect opportunity to wrap up his sons newest obsession.

you hold lennon on your knees, letting her play with the velvety green ribbon from her gift. like usual, you watch luke waltz up to william, displaying his new hockey stick like his life depended on it.

"wow!" william beams, "you're very lucky lukey."

your son nods with enthusiasm, eyes still tranced on the stick. "now I can come play with you and uncle mitchy."

"that's right baby."

you make them pose for a photo after that. william tucks luke into his side, a smile on both of your babies faces as luke holds the stick out. you make sure to send it to steph marner, followed by how excited he is to play with mitch. it's all so cute, and you're so in love with your little family.

luke plays with his toys while you and william make breakfast, lennon gurgling happily in her high chair, sucking on a strawberry while she waits for her food.

eventually you get him to stop playing and come get his serving of eggs, bacon and toast—although he does bring the hockey stick to the table, but you didn't expect anything else.

it's when william is tidying up the dishes and you're just getting lennon out of the high chair, william's family arrives, walking through the front door in a flurry of snow and presents, smiles on their faces.

"merry christmas!"

luke's tiny gasp is almost humorous, and he drops the hockey stick and runs towards his grandparents, tiny feet smacking against the floor. "papa! nana!"

"oh my goodness!" camila greets warmly, dropping her bag to embrace her grandson. "hello my baby." william's mom kisses luke's face multiple times, which sends the toddler into a fit of giggles.

"and here's the other little baby." michael smiles gently, reaching towards your daughter, running his index finger along her soft cheek. "hello lenny bear! merry christmas sweet girl." she smiles, shying away from her grandfathers tickle.

his parents greet you both briefly, but their too wrapped up in the magic of christmas with their first set of grand babies that you're not even mad about the hasty greeting.

"lukey!" ella looks down at her nephew, arms open expectantly. "do I get a hug?"

"yes auntie ella!" he runs into her arms, squeezing william's sister as tight as he can manage.

she pulls back, looking down at luke with sparkling eyes. "did you open your presents from santa?"

"yes," luke beams, blinking up at his aunt warmly. "and he got me a hockey stick!"

"what?! you're so lucky." ella relates the words he's heard a million times today, running her palm flat over his unruly head of hair. "I bet uncle alex will want to see it!"

at the mention of his favourite person in the world (besides his father of course), luke gasps so hard you think his little lungs might explode. he catches sight of alex in the kitchen, chatting with you while he plays with lennon's tiny toes affectionately.

"uncle alex" luke giggles, running over to his uncle.

at the sound of his name, the second eldest nylander sibling looks over just in time for luke to run at his legs. alex smiles, grabbing your son under the arms and swinging him to his chest. "hey dude."

luke immediately lays his head on his shoulder, rubbing his cheek on the soft fabric of alex's hoodie. it's a rather sweet sight, and you're instantly feeling emotional about it.

you clear your throat, adjusting lennon on your hip. "lukey, wanna tell uncle alex what you said last night?"

your son nods gently. "you are smart."

alex gasps happily, pulling down luke's pyjama shirt from where it's ridden up against his sweater.

"he wanted to call you and ask what cookies santa would like because you're smart." you continue, adding a bit more context to the story.

alex nods triumphantly, "you're right lukey I am smart." he kisses your sons cheek once, a loud smacking noise that has lukey laughing, trying to squirm away from the tickle of alex's beard—something he's used to with william.

you'll never get tired of the holiday season, and seeing your family so content and happy with one another just adds to the festive atmosphere and pure joy of christmas.

you feel your husbands arms wrap around your waist from behind, william gently kissing the side of your face as he greets you. "merry christmas, babe."

lennon gurgles happily as she catches sight of william, reaching over you to touch his face, fingers raking through his grown-out facial hair and running over his lips. william nips her tiny hands gently, making her squeal with laughter.

you smile warmly, watching with loving eyes. "merry christmas willy."

[am-i-interrupting]

reminding you to write one shït about viktor helping me shower

Washed Away Like Soap Suds

Thank you for your services.

The day had been. . . a day for certain. It had been long and treacherous.

Your hand had several cuts. One could blame it upon being in the kitchen all day. However, it wasn’t sheer unlucky circumstances which had caused the blades you’d wielded to slip. No, instead it was your shaking hand and racing hard and inability to focus.

You’d been distracted all day. More accurately, you’d been extraordinarily stressed.

Your best friend was in the hospital. Had been all day. You were in the kitchen. Had been all day. The reason you weren’t there with her was purely because her parents and sister took priority in visiting rights.

The countertops were filled with baked treats. Your started the day off with cookies. Then bread. After that came the beignets, the pie (completely homemade including the crust), the danishes. The counter was well covered.

Just like your hand. The first nick came when you were making slices in the bread before you let it rise for a second time. The second when you were peeling the apples for the pie and the third soon after when you were slicing those same apples. The fourth came from the slicing of strawberries for the danishes.

You were placing the danishes onto a plate when Viktor placed his book down. He uncrossed his legs to stand. The pitter patter sound of his footsteps and cane were behind you before long.

His cane came into view as it was placed against the counter. His arms wrapped around your waist and his hands came to rest at your hips.

“As much as I support you opening up a bakery, I don’t believe we have the space,” he said.

You didn’t respond. Thoughts racing still. The spatula slipped between the pan and danish. You spun the plate so a bare spot was closer. Your finger lined with the back of the danish and you pushed it onto the plate. Your mind and body not registering the heat.

Viktor’s nose nuzzled against your temple. “My love,” he said softly, “you need rest.”

With the last danish on the plate, the full effect of your stress was visible through your shaking hands.

You laughed, sarcastic and devoid of true humor, “That’s not gonna happen.”

“If not your mind, then your body,” he said. “Let me take care of you.”

His hands, steady and stable, covered your own. He picked up his cane and led you away from the kitchen. You let yourself be guided.

Your mind was fogged over and dreary like an abandoned railway station. However, it also raced like a train teetering off the tracks. An odd combination of very little coherent thoughts that led way to a mess of emotions.

The bathroom is where you were led. Viktor say you down atop the toilet lid.

He knelt to grab a towel. It was placed on the rack. He sidestepped the bathtub and went instead to the shower. He turned the knobs. The water began pouring down.

Propping himself up on the rim of the tub, Viktor’s hands slipped beneath your shirt. He pulled it up and over your head. His fingers undid the button of your pants and down they came as well with your underwear.

“Sit,” he said as his hands came to your shoulders.

You were guided to a seated position in the shower floor. Water just barely missed your face.

It wasn’t long before Viktor joined you, slightly elevated as he sat on the mounted shower seat. He grabbed the shower head and brought it down.

Your back pressed against the front of his legs as he washed himself off first. A very quick, brief process.

His hands went to your scalp. He massaged it causing the hair to bunch up and allowing the water to better penetrate. The water was warm in contrast to the chilled air.

Fingernails brushed against your scalp, just shy of scratching but he was gentle.

“Hold.”

Your fingers wrapped around the neck of the shower head on autopilot.

There was a click of a bottle opening, a small squirt of liquid. Your scalp, just heated seconds earlier, cooled as shampoo was lathered in your hair. You could hear the bubbles as they formed and popped.

A pressure was applied at the nape of your neck. You leaned into the touch. Tears formed in your eyes as tension began to relax. A tension you’d been holding onto for the past twenty-four hours.

Suds popped against your skin as Viktor used the lather to move onto your shoulders. Your lips curled up and down as your nose burned. A looseness coming to you that you felt you shouldn’t be having, not now, but fuck was nice.

Your head fell back into Viktor’s lap. Your eyes closed. You could feel the wetness which was not from the shower, roll down your cheeks. He must have noticed but made no remark.

He bent over. You could feel his torso push slightly against your hair. The shower head was taken from your grasp.

Water poured over your scalp. The popping bubbles washed away. The shower head was once again in your hands.

Another cap opened and it was followed by the sound of a thick congealed substance being spread across two hands. Your head was tilted a bit forward off Viktor’s thighs. Your hair was scrunched up from the bottom all the way to where your hair follicles began in sections.

A third cap was opened and more bubbles sounded as they formed and popped. Soon a net sponge was moving across your skin. It was soft and gentle. The barest of touches, leaving clouds that evaporated away in its wake.

Viktor grabbed the shower head once more. The sponge was washed off and set back into its place. Then your body followed. The water like rain that washed and cleansed you.

A knob was turned and the water went cool. A stark contrast to the warmth but not an unwelcome one. The conditioner was washed from your hair. Then the water went warm once more.

Two taps to your shoulder. You moved your body off of Viktor.

“I will be back,” he said as he reached for a towel.

His footsteps were pattering against the floor, sopping and dripping. Then he was gone.

You were left in the water. On the floor you watched as suds spun around the drain. They slowed as they neared it. Slowly they either slunk down the drain or popped before they had the chance.

Footsteps. The door to the shower slid open. The water was switched off. A towel was draped around your shoulders.

Viktor sat with you on shower floor. The outer side of his towel got wet as it soaked the remaining water.

He used your towel to dry you. His hand cupped your cheek when he was done. His thumb rubbed away a tear.

“How about you take some melatonin, we go to bed, I’ll read to you until you fall asleep, and in the morning we go back to the hospital and see if she’s accepting visitors?”

You looked at Viktor and for the first time all day you felt like you could see him. His hair was dripping. Longer and now halfway to his shoulders. His angles harsh but the curves in his lips, his ears, his moles so soft. His golden eyes were tainted with soft worry, creases near them to show it.

You felt your lips spread and your nostrils flare as hot tears fell down your face. Your head fell forward and landed on his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around you. No words were needed. Nothing could be said.

His hands were steady against your back. Your hands still shook were they lay near his hip.

“Dr. Emerson is wonderful at her job,” Viktor assured you. “If anything were to go wrong, her years of experience would not lead her astray.”

That was more comforting. More comforting than the words you’d gotten from your friend’s family the multiple times you went to the hospital to check in.

She’s alright.

You’re being overdramatic. You’re not the one getting operated on.

You should be thankful you’re not allowed to go back. At least this way you don’t have to keep up with what’s going on.

“Here, drink.”

A cup was placed in your hands. It was cold to the touch. You looked down at the water inside. The ice clanked against each other and the interior.

You brought it to your lips. A cool trail was traveled through your body. It started inside your mouth and went down your throat. You could feel it go down behind your breast plate and past your heart and lungs until it stopped in your stomach.

It helped bring down your racing heart.

There was a harsh click. It was followed by the sound of a cap unscrewing. Viktor held out the melatonin bottle to you.

You stared at it blankly for a moment and then two. You reached into the bottle and pulled out two gummies. Viktor raised an eyebrow for a moment before it blinked away off his face.

Normally you only took one. However, you knew if you didn’t get a higher dose you’d worry yourself through it then stay up all night.

You popped them into your mouth and slowly chewed. The strawberry flavor a nice moment of grounding. You swallowed and your ears popped.

Viktor plucked the cup from your hands and stood. “I’ll be waiting for you in bed whenever you’re ready.”

You stayed on the floor for several, long minutes. At least, it felt long and it felt like minutes. You weren’t entire sure though.

You pushed yourself up. Your body moved by itself through the motions of brushing your teeth and blowing your nose. It also moved by itself out of the bathroom and into the bed.

Your face hit the blankets. Your towel was still wrapped around you. You pulled the covers back and shrugged off the towel. No energy or will left in you to put on clothes.

Arms wrapped around Viktor’s torso. Your ear covered his heart. It was steady and consistent. There was a background rumble coming from his voice.

“Thank you,” you blurted out before the thought of even saying something crossed your mind.

Viktor’s reading came to a halt. “Of course,” he said like it was simple, like it was nothing.

He continued reading as your eyelids grew heavy.

[charliemwrites]

Government Asset Soap! This is half of the last part (the smut got too long and I wanted to post this dammit).

Original concept comes from @ceilidho’s military asset Soap. Further inspiration came from @391780’s Nikto version “The Summons”. Both are very good and you should definitely check out!!

Content: Post-trauma coping, Non-Con Touching and Kissing, Violence (mentioned), Unstable Soap

It’s probably a fire hazard, the candles. They’re sprinkled across your little cabin like fireflies, feeble but steady heartbeats of a home you’re failing to build. Too many of them, likely. Two, sometimes three, per room. Tiny tealights, smokeless soy, scented pine. It would be easier, safer, to just turn on the lamps you foolishly invested in.

You can’t bear anything brighter than golden halogen anymore, though. The glare drags you back to a tiny cell bisected by cruel metal, holding back an even crueler fate. No, you’d much rather wade through pools of shadow and firelight, fire code be damned.

It’s a small cabin, but you’ve already cluttered it up with furniture and rugs, a theme for each room. Yellow and blue for the kitchen. Purple and cream for the den. Green and brown for your bedroom. Nooks to hide in, spaces to squeeze into, big shapes to huddle behind. You’ll never be caught out in a cold, barren room ever again.

Your days are long regardless of the time of year. Get groceries in town every day, making a point to be friendly and seen so that someone might notice if you suddenly stop coming. Clean incessantly, so many surfaces to dust. Pick hobbies like daisies. Knitting and crocheting, different paint styles, felting. You’re contemplating carpentry, would like to build shelves for all the books stacked up in the den. Keep a dream journal by your bed that you neglect for weeks at a time.

You draw out the nights until you can count the hours until dawn on one hand. Stay up baking, making homemade ink, learning new ways to style your hair, anything, anything, anything—

It’s not the sleeping – or at least that’s not the worst of it. It’s the waking.

Laswell suggested a cat.

You told her to stop suggesting pussy to unstable people.

But it’s still not a bad idea. Another living thing to keep you accountable; the plants are pretty and time-consuming, but not good company.

You talk yourself out of it every time, knowing the worst-case scenario. It’s not catastrophizing if it actually happens, and you can feel an invisible time weighing on your shoulders like another gravity. Tick, tick, tick. Heavier, heavier, heavier. It’s hard to breathe beneath the wait.

The military doesn’t do apologies. It does platitudes at best. Well wishes and good intentions are painted in brushstrokes of blood. Victory flags are planted on bodies, living or otherwise. Laswell apologized. She swore that if there had been another way – any other way…

She didn’t promise to leave you alone. Didn’t assure you that you’d never see her or her goons again.

If you thought it would do any good, you’d tip one of the candles over and set it all aflame. Rebirth through fire. But you never did figure yourself for a phoenix. And besides, a phoenix is still itself, even when the ash falls away.

So, you spool out your time like picking at tapestry threads, one thin string at time.

Tonight, it’s bread. Cinnamon chocolate babka, to be specific. You were craving something sweet. Are debating the merits of some sort of cream cheese icing while you shower off the long, ever-busy day.

Have decided on an optimistic why not as you slip out to begin your overly complicated self-care routine. Moisturizers, hair oils, lotion. An unexpected benefit of overloading yourself, you suppose. Even when you first got out of the military, you didn’t take such good care of yourself. You have a jogging route now. You’re handling your trauma every possible way except therapy. (And sleeping.) Better than nothing, you figure.

The candles have gone out in your bedroom. You click your tongue in annoyance, trying to remember where you left the matches this time. Bedside table?

You pad across the soft carpet, using the edge of the bed as a guide in the pitch black. The only other problem with candles is that their humble light doesn’t reach very far. But you know this house and keep the floors tidy enough that you’re confident you won’t trip.

Make it to the nightstand without incident and pat around. Knock the side of your hand into the little carton and only just catch it before it hits the deck. Let out a little huff and start to fumble it open.

“Nice catch, bonnie.”

You gasp, but your voice doesn’t get any farther than the back of your tongue. The box slips from your numb fingers, matchsticks scattering across the floor. He tsks.

“Shame that. We’ll get ‘em later.”

You can’t move. Can barely breathe. You’re just frozen, heart thundering with a sudden storm of fear and confusion. Hands still aloft in front of you, spine rigid, knees locked.

You feel more than hear movement behind you, and then the warmth of his body seeping into your naked skin. Not quite touching. Not yet.

“Missed you, little bird,” he rasps in your ear.

You always thought that in a moment like this you would scream. Kick and elbow and fight, damn your certain loss. But when it comes down to it, survival drowns out all those stupid, haughty ideas about pride and dignity. So you don’t curse and shout like you always fancied you would.

You whisper, “Soap.”

He hums but it sounds like a growl in your panicked state. “Missed me too, aye? You’re already naked fer me.”

His hands are searing when they settle on your waist like they belong there. He pulls you back against him; in the dark he’s bigger, broader than you remember. At least, you think, he’s fully clothed for now.

“What are you… how are you here?” you ask.

He barks a laugh, mean and rough. “Was only a matter of time after that shite they pulled.”

You squeeze your eyes shut and see it recreated in the phosphenes behind your lids.

Soap buried balls deep inside of you, murmuring a constant stream of filth as he got harder and harder inside you. Filling you up as you twitched around him, oversensitive and teary, afraid of what would come next.

Then the lights flashed, flicked red. An alarm sounded, Laswell’s voice ordering Soap away from you. But he just snarled and hunched over you, hips snapping to bury himself right back inside while you cried out.

The locked door swung in, armed guards swarming in. Yanked Soap off you while you scrambled to cover yourself. Someone grabbing your arm none too gently to pull you from the room. Soap wild-eyed and snarling like something possessed, until he was overtaken by struggling guards and you were trembling naked in that damned hallway.

“Was mad at you, at first, cannae lie,” he says, almost conversational. Your eyes snap open, though you know it’ll do you no good. “But I’ve had time to think on it. Wasnae yer fault, was it? Saw them drag you out.”

An awful relief floods you. Fuck dignity, fuck honesty. This is Soap right behind you, completely unrestrained and unsupervised.

“Yeah,” you answer, voice small. “I didn’t know they would do that. What… um. What happened to you?”

He presses his face into your damp hair, pressing closer, snaking his arms to squeeze you against him.

“Sent me off on some shite mission,” he explains, “probably hoped I’d die out there. You smell so good, lass.”

You shiver as his breath ghosts over the sensitive skin of your neck. Hot, humid.

“And… and then what?” you insist, trying to stall.

You’re not sure what you’re stalling for. There will be no miraculous saves here – not that you really got any last time. It’s not like there’s any real plan to be made here, either. None that you’d be confident enough to risk his wrath on.

“Disappeared. Took care of business. Came to get my pretty little bird.”

A rough hand trails over the curve of your hip, brush the neat curls of your mound. You suck in a breath, hands twitching with the urge to stop him but not sure of putting up resistance when you’re still unsure of his mental state.

“And what about you, hm?” he rumbles. “Been a good girl while I’ve been away?”

His fingers dart down towards your entrance, not nearly prepared for anything. Least of all his thick digits.

“Y-yes!” you yelp, grabbing at his wrist. Relief makes you dizzy when you manage to stop him. “I-I’ve been good. Which means I’m not… I can’t just take you. I need… I need prep.”

He huffs, nips at the tender spot beneath your ear. The thrill that shoots through your stomach is terrifying.

“That’s what these are for, bonnie.”

And to your horror, he starts to push past your resistance like your staying hands aren’t there at all.

“John!”

He freezes. You shudder air into your burning lungs, feeling dizzy on panic.

You can get through this without pain, just think.

“I haven’t even got to see you,” you stutter, voice shaky. Can’t quite inject the disappointment you’re trying for, but hopefully it’ll work. “And I bet you’re all dirty from travel.”

He grumbles. “So what?”

You scramble to think of a satisfactory response. “S-so let’s get reacquainted in the shower, yeah? That way I can see your handsome face, at least.”

He chuckles, grazes his teeth “playfully” across your cheek. “Bossy thing.”

“You like it.”

And to your shock, he agrees with an amused huff. Hauls you up in his arms and walks you back to the still muggy bathroom. You’re set on your feet and spun around, chin jerked up to receive a savage kiss. All tongue and teeth, no finesse. He’s just licking into your mouth, hungry and animalistic, spit dribbling down your chin.

When he finally pulls away, you blink spots from your vision. Finally focus on his smug features and make a soft, horrified noise when you register the splatter of crimson across them.

“Och, that? My little bird had watchers.”

Of course you did. The horror ebbs a bit. Resentment has made you indiscriminately bitter.

“Oh,” you say, “th-thank you. Definitely glad we’re showering first, then.”

“Squeamish?”

You’d like to know when the world turned upside down and John fucking “Soap” MacTavish began teasing you about the blood on his face.

“A bit,” you admit.

“Poor dear,” he coos. “Hard to believe we were made for each other sometimes, aye? Complementary, we are.”

Is that what he thinks? Christ.

You turn to start the shower again, spine prickling with the weight of his eyes on your back. The water rushes down and then he’s crowding you against the cold wall beneath the (thankfully) warm spray.

“Y-you’re still dressed!” you protest between sharp nips to your collarbone.

“Fix it, then,” he snarls.

You claw his shirt up his back, get momentarily distracted by the impressive display of muscle hidden beneath. Draw your palms over his chest and feel him shudder.

“Fuckin’ heavenly, love,” he purrs. “Missed this.”

A vague memory comes back to you, him gripping you close because he felt you naked against him for the first time. Him admitting he hasn’t had affectionate touch in a while.

This… this you could work with.

First | Previous | Next

Masterlist

[milkcanned]

night in with the one piece girls

ft. nami, nico robin, boa hancock, nefertari vivi, tashigi

a.n: lol this is my debut. enjoy.

cat burglar nami

• first of all, you had to beg nami for a night in rather than a night out in the first place

• she loves to go out shopping with you

• but, on this night in, best believe you are being pampered.

• she makes the two of you various tangerine snacks for the night. tarts, dipping sauce, a cocktail, you name it.

• laying your head on her lap as she doodles away at a new map she's making

• or, resting your head on her shoulder to watch the delicate ink lines indicating the landscape of the island she's mapping.

• settling on the floor for a massage, which she is an absolute top tier masseuse.

• feeling her hands glide across your back, working into your tense muscles and easing away that low pain.

• her complaining that you're "doing it wrong" when it's your turn to massage her, when really she's just trying to hide that she's ticklish.

• setting up a bath together with her homemade tangerine body wash and soaps, it smells just like her

• her accidentally getting soap in your eyes and giggling while washing it out

• "whoops, sorry." she sticks out her tongue and gives you a wink

�� cuddling with her in bed, tangled in each other's arms. her breath against your neck and that warm smell of tangerine

nico robin

• a cozy night in with robin is not a rarity in your relationship

• in fact, it's quite often the two of you relax in the comfort of home

• firstly, book marathon.

• just reading beside each other, enjoying one another's presence. maybe her head's in your lap, maybe you're squished close in an arm chair together

• a debrief on the books you've both read is a must.

• deep, meaningful talks about life, the universe, stupid things. the two of you could go on to each other about the terrors of life and not even lose sleep over it. and don't even think about doing this while high.

• "if a dog and a cat's upper body were sewn to together, how do you think it would expel waste?" ... "good question, robin. well,"

• sometimes you both flip through those "who would win" nature magazines and place your bets

• "the hippopotamus would definitely beat the rhino! they're quite vicious, you know."

• scaring your fellow crewmates by hiding under the hammock (you) and grabbing usopp's arms

• robin, of course, made hands to grab the remaining legs

• giggling and running back to robin as usopp screams in horror

• settling into bed as she makes arms to rub comforting circles into your back, arms, and legs.

• drifting off to sleep as the smell of book pages and lavender lull you

boa hancock

• a night in with hancock is actually much more common than expected.

• rarely does she ever leave the palace with you to favor a night on amazon lily's markets

• her pampering may be on par with nami's. she's an empress after all, and you're her consort.

• the two of you first take a luxurious bath with all kinds of bath salts, creams, scrubs, and shampoos.

• her products are strictly lily scented, it smells so much like her

• her long fingers gently working into your hair to fully cleanse and nourish it, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

• getting out of the bath to be dressed in a beautiful draping bathrobe, and being escorted to her room.

• trays of all of your favorite foods laid across the table in front of a loveseat

• the both of you taking turns feeding each other fruits, giggling like schoolgirls when juice runs down the other's lip

• "my! i think you have something on your face!" she chuckles and blushes, reaching out a hand to swipe at your lip

• having a couple's massage in the palace, hands entwined as you both relax parallel to each other

• climbing onto her lap as she lounges on her snake, salome. she's so warm and smells so sickly sweet of lilies and honey.

• drifting off to sleep in each other's arms, with salome loosely coiled around the two of you like a weighted blanket

nefertari vivi

• as much as vivi loves having a night out in alabasta's markets, a palace date suffices

• you better believe you're getting the princess treatment by the princess herself!!

• doing each other's hair in her room with karoo softly snoring on the bed

• feeling her silky smooth blue locks between your fingers as you style her hair

• being caught giggling and gossiping by igaram when he enters the room to drop off a tray of assorted fruits and snacks

• going out to the palace garden to watch the pigeons and doves as vivi tells you about her journeys with the strawhats

• a beautiful dove landing on your lap as she finished up her story, cooing as you scratch behind it's head

• "hey, this one looks like you."

• trying on her beautiful gowns, and her spinning you in the mirror to look

• heading out to the palace's pool to swim with the spot-billed duck troops

• splashing vivi, which results in you getting splashed tenfold

• drying off in robes as the two of you get ready for bed

• drifting off to sleep with her arms around you, karoo snoring softly at the foot of the bed

tashigi

• a night in is usually what the two of you get up to, considering there isn't much to do on marine bases

• smoker has no problem letting her take the night off

• heading to the marine mess hall to grab some coffees and pastries

• her letting you grab a sip of her hot coffee, and getting concerned when you flinch back

• "s'way too hot, tashigi!" ... "oh, oops!"

• letting her rant to you about swords and katanas, her flipping through a sword magazine and showing the ones she has circled in red marker

• sparring each other with wooden sticks, which she beats you at, landing you on your back

• tashigi then promptly falling clumsily right on top of you, glasses slipping off of her nose

• you pushing her glasses back up and giggling, which earns you a pouty and completely red in the face tashigi

• helping her clean her collection of blades, some of which were confiscated from pirates deemed unworthy of holding a sword

• "wow so this one belonged to someone from baroque works?" .. "yup!" she beams, blushing

• settling into bed with her as she takes off her glasses to sleep

•cradling her head against your chest as you both drift off to slumber

[jube-art]

Oooh, Double Kryptonian AU is super interesting! Does Clark get them all somewhere safe? Maybe the Kent farm so Ma and Pa can look after them?

Dyam is already asleep, breathing softly where he's curled up in a hay bale and a sleeping bag. He's still easily swayed to sleep most of the time, his energy wanes much faster than his brothers and father, his body is trying to catch up to itself while it heals. Jon sleeps next to him, simply always eager for a nap.

Dic sits close to the fire, watching the flames and the sky all at once, his long hair pulled up and back and out of his face, the once greasy strands now cleaned with Martha's simple soaps, there's a kind of peace to him, listening to the way Kara talks his ear off about the teenage hero's their own age.

Jae is the quietest, he normally is, reading a book with his back to the fire so he can see the words on the page, his hair is curling around his mask, nobody on earth had seen the boy without it yet. There's a barn cat that's curled around the old camping chair that Jae occupies, purring up a storm and occasionally moving when one side of it's black fur gets too hot.

Te however, is pulled up on an old log that never got cut, holding a stick and asking Kon to explain himself one more time.

"It's not hard." Kon explains, patient and smiling. "It's just a kind of food. You like sweet things." Te scrunches his nose up, his own long hair is not nearly as neat as his brothers so it falls down around his hears and chin. His pale eyes watch the chocolate bar like it will bite him.

"I'll go first." Kon stabs a jumbo marshmallow through the stick he's holding, grabbed perfectly out of a tree this morning in preparation of tonight's main event. "It's easy to do, there's no wrong way to do it. You burn the sugar, you put it on the chocolate. You sandwich it in between graham crackers."

"The Google says that it has to be gold." Te's English words aren't as smooth as when he speaks his native language, but he's been much better at learning English than Kon has been at learning Kryptonian. "You say it needs to be burn. What is correct?"

"There's no wrong way to do it, buddy." Kon laughs, "Try it how you saw it on google first though, okay?"

Te nods, once, and copies Kon motion, spearing his own puffy marshmallow and sticking it much farther than Kon's reckless sort of arsonist approach.

They roast their food, smelling the sweetness burn over the fire, hearing the sounds of family, the night air, and they concentrate.

Kon goes through three s'mores by the time Te is finished with his first, the golden crust cracks when Kon helps Te place it down in between dutch chocolate and thickly covered homemade crackers.

Te's first bite is like a revelation.

[northbirdblog]

A refreshing and relaxing sugar scrub to brighten up and smooth out your skin!

[exosalt]

aot headcanons - skincare edition

Armin

Slightly on the dry side but v sensitive

Has a pretty simple routine - cleanser, toner, moisturiser, aftershave etc

His products are high end and high quality

Knows exactly what to use for specific skin issues

Religiously uses SPF

Eren

Combination skin but slightly on the oilier side

Doesn’t have a skincare routine

Uses 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash on his face when he’s in the shower

Steals Armin’s and Mikasa’s skincare products

Uses them wrong

Refuses to use SPF in winter

Mikasa

Normal balanced skin

Literally only needs cleanser and SPF and that’s IT

Likes trying out new face masks and sheet masks

Physically has to hold Eren down and rub SPF on his face

Levi

Used to have balanced skin like Mikasa but it dried out because he kept using hand sanitizer on his face

Cleanses twice a day but with antibacterial soap

Skin stills looks good because ✨Ackergenes✨

Jean

Combination and slightly acne-prone

Needs encouragement to use proper skincare

Not too fussed about following a proper routine, always forgets in the evening

Thinks growing a beard will cover the sins

Sasha

Has an oily T-zone

Tiktok is her main source of skincare info

Tried homemade Pinterest face masks but ended up eating it

Has a post on her Instagram of herself and Connie with face masks on and cucumbers over their eyes

Connie

Combination skin but slightly acne prone

Doesn’t really use anything special unless it’s recommended to him

“What’s your skincare routine?” “Water” - thinks that’s a flex

Loves trying new face masks with Sasha

Historia

Dry, sensitive skin but no one can ever tell because she’s perfected her skincare

Has a full 12 step routine

Loves giving skincare recommendations

Convinces Ymir to do spa nights with her

Reiner

Tears

LMAO jk jk his skincare is pretty simple

Has mostly normal skin but stress causes him to break out

Still trying to find products which work for him

Bertholdt

Oily + sensitive skin

Constantly forgets to use SPF

Doesn’t really matter because he sweats off all the product anyway

Annie

Combination skin

Constant dark circles

Uses super simple drugstore products

Only really focused on keeping her skin clean

Started using SPF because Armin suggested it

Marco

Combination skin but has an oily forehead

Doesn’t have a proper routine

Only buys products that are half off 🙃

Low-key scared he’ll exfoliate a freckle off

(The freckles demand love)

Ymir

Really only uses water and it works out fine

Doesn’t understand the skincare hype

Will still try out whatever Historia recommends for her

Erwin

this set

Hange

Doesn’t have a skincare routine

Likes putting weird things on their face just to see what effect they’ll have

Like they’ll rub a whole lemon on their face just to see what it does

Enjoys popping pimples

Miche

Soap goes up his nose every single day and impairs his sense of smell for like an hour afterwards

Cries when this happens

Prefers to keep it simple

Floch

Doesn’t wash his face

Crusty ass bitch

s/o to @sehun-cakes for helping me with this 😂

[scentofsagittarius]

What the hell is ‘Scent of Sagittarius’!?

Scent of Sagittarius is my business-in-the-making!

What the hell kind of business?

I will be presenting a wide variety of products, such as: wax & jelly candles, natural & moisturizing soap bars, cloud-like whipped body soaps, exfoliating sugar scrubs (as well as salt and coffee scrubs!), bath salts, shave combos (pre-shave exfoliater, whipped shave cream, after-shave polish), refreshing face masks, washes, and creams, and so much more!

But will any of these products even f*cking smell good or look pretty!?

Yes! I have a HUGE array of scents for all products, ranging from floral to aquatic to woodsy to amber to fruity and etc. There are familiar scents that everyone knows and loves, such as vanilla or lemon; additionally, there are so many new, unique but amazing scents to try out as well. I also have products that are GORGEOUS! There are bright neon colors, passive pastels, bold and vivid colors, and copious amounts of mixtures and color combinations to match EVERY products original, differentiating vibe & theme!

Well, are these mother f*ckers going to be fairly priced or will I have to pay an arm and a leg?!

Why, yes! These wonderful mother fuckers are absolutely going to be fair priced! I will also be offering free samples of ALL products - as well as frequent sales, deals, and coupons to make the prices even MORE affordable!

Questions, comments, input, suggestions are always welcome! Feel free to message me or send via ASK!

[mjart12699]

The M6’s hair and body care

Asra: has used a million different scents of body wash, and will use a million more. It’s not that they haven’t found the right one, it’s that they just want to try every single scent, but they tend to gravitate towards whatever scent the MC has complimented in the past if they’ve done so. Exfoliates when they remember to once they figure out what that is for, probably uses a basic face soap because they are one of those miraculous people with perfectly clear skin in adulthood (can’t say the same for their teen years though). Due to their hair type, which I headcanon as being high density (more hair strands per follicle) and rather thick, they probably don’t have to wash their hair super often, maybe every week or so for most of the year, every other week when it’s really cold out. They have the same mindset towards shampoos/conditioner when it comes to scent as their body wash with no distinct preference, but their main shampoo is hydrating and when they need to they’ll clarify their scalp with a homemade mask before shampooing. Conditioner is hydrating but mostly used to detangle, and while you wouldn’t know it their hair looks so good because of the oils they put in regularly and the hair masks they do with MC when they are home at the shop. I like to think that there was an oil that Aisha used to use in Asra’s hair before she and Salim were taken away, and that when Asra was able to find the oil again later in life they decided to try and do the same routine their mother had had originally in front of the fire in the hut, finger combing the smoky sweet oil through cotton white curls and massaging their scalp all while their eyes were closed, trying their best to remember the sound of their mother’s voice as she hummed while her fingers had combed through his hair all those years ago.

Nadia: She’s had an extensive routine for as long as she could remember, as you would expect of royalty. When she was young her and her sisters probably did their hair together as a form of bonding, a long train of siblings with the rainbow in their hair as they each oiled the strands of the siblings in front of them. In the current events of the game, Her hair is thick and high density, and she has to thin it out every once and a while because it gives her a headache, and while it’s not obvious because of the length, it is wavy, it’s just so weighed down most of the time. Nadia probably has a shampoo, conditioner, scalp scrub, deep conditioner, protein treatment, and oil for everything. Hydration? You got it. Hair is brittle and needs protein? She’s got it. Trying to grow it out? She has every oil and a ranking list of how well they work with rosemary oil at the top, she’s already putting the bottle into your hands. Even her body care routine is extensive. A body wash for getting rid of the oil and sweat of the day, a body wash for scent, dry brush to exfoliate, she’s probably even one of those people that does a full body mask for whatever she knows her skin currently needs. She doesn’t think her skincare routine is very excessive, but to the average person it’s a lot, she probably hasn’t had a pimple for more than ten minutes a day in her life.

Julian: As an adult he has a body wash and shampoo, and if he can he’ll find a two in one of those for the sake of time convenience. However, when he was a kid his honorary grandma’s in Nevivon probably taught him to wash his hair with nettle shampoo and how to make a mask out of eggs and olive oil, and how to use vinegar for extra shine. He and Portia probably had some of the best hair, or at least the most complimented, as kids. After meeting the MC he tries to remember how to do his hair like that again, and will even try to remember body lotion (I know damn well his elbows are dry as hell). Washes his face with water and sometimes soap if he’s awake enough to remember. His hair is thick and medium density, the curls tighter at the ends and looser at the scalp.

Lucio: As a kid his hair care wasn’t too fancy, but he did have nice hair, and Morga made sure of that. Despite being a violent tribe, I think they would have taken great pride in the care of their hair considering the history of Norse/Germanic tribes haircare. However as Count of Vesuvia he splurges, trying everything he possibly can as long as he thinks it smells nice. Without realizing it he might gravitate towards smells that were common in his childhood, but often times it’s fancy perfumes and colognes on top of his natural musk. Overall, he probably actually smells good, and while many other nobles smell like they bathed in over saturated perfumes for hours, Lucio has mastered the fine art of picking the right scents for himself so that he always smells wonderful. His hair is fine and medium density and it grows incredibly fast, but he cannot grow a descent beard to save his life.

Portia: Probably has a floral soap that she washes twice with since she works so hard, and she probably keeps to the same hair routine she had as a kid, with the addition of massaging her scalp with lavender oil before she washes her hair and finger combing a different hydrating oil through her mid lengths and ends. She likes to style her hair in any way she can on the days she has the time, trying out elaborate braids on herself if she really likes them. Her hair is thick and high density, much like Asra and Nadia’s, and it might be something the three of them could bond over.

Muriel: At the docks you were lucky if you had the time to wash your face with clean water in peace, much less having actual soap if you were able to nab some from a vendor. Muriel doesn’t remember much about the Steppes, or his parents. It’s just images flashing by, but sometimes he’d smell a specific oil or plant and retract from the memories it would bring, quick flashes of gentle hands brushing his hair smooth long after it was already detangled, at that point it was just so he would fall asleep. At the docks Muriel remembers eventually letting Asra do his hair with what the both of them had, including the time they tried to cut each other’s hair. It was a disaster, and both of their haircuts were awful, but his hair didn’t stick to his neck uncomfortably that summer. When they escaped to the woods Muriel learned to make soap at one point, and while it was simple it got the job done. At the coliseum Lucio made sure that while his champion looked ragged and wild for the next fight, he would remain at least relatively clean. He couldn’t lose his prized gladiator to an infected wound of all things, could he? Muriel was expected to be mostly clean shaven, a razor used to shave the hair that always grew back before the sun set off of his face and chest, but he never cut the hair growing from his head. He never had the time or energy, much less cared what length it was. When he escaped the coliseum with Inanna he chopped off as much as he could, using the nearest sharp object at the hut, an ax used to chop wood, to shear off the brittle inky strands, and once again his hair didn’t cling to his neck for that summer. If anyone saw him they would see that the ex gladiator’s hair had gone from an even waist length sheet of black to choppy strands near his head, and if his hood was down you might even see some of the patches where his ax had gotten a little too close to his scalp. He doesn’t allow himself the luxury of anything beyond soap that he uses as both shampoo and body wash, but he will allow for Asra to leave newer shaving tools in the hut when Asra notices the scabs from Muriel trying to shave with a dull razor and nothing to soften the hair on his face. After meeting the MC, he might get better at taking care of his hair and body besides what he had deemed necessary, even researching what the Khokuri used and testing it out if he has the time. I think he would have more interest in protective styles, braiding his hair away from his face or tying it back in the ways he’s seen the other Khokuri do it if he can figure it out, but he won’t do it often, his favorite way to tie his hair back something he’s just used to doing. If the MC wants to he’ll allow them to play with his hair, apply oil through the strands and massage his scalp. He’ll fall asleep in their lap and as they hum and comb their fingers through the coarse strands he allows the familiar safe feeling to wash over him as he falls asleep. His hair is coarse, thick and medium density, and might be a little wavy if he lets the MC test out a routine on him.

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Held | Ghost x Price

Day 12: Rotten Touch w/ Simon “Ghost” Riley

Summary: While on leave, Simon can’t seem to get to sleep properly, and Price knows just the thing to help.

Word Count: ~ 1.3k

Warnings: death, murder, guns, blood, stealing, nightmares, ptsd, implied soapgaz smut, non sexual cuddling

A/N: my allergies are killing me, but this is my first time dipping my toes into the waters of priceghost, so I hope you enjoy<3

Requests are open!

His hands weren’t just an instrument of death.

They were a carrier; a harbinger of it, what made the sirens start blaring, warning people of what came ahead if they didn’t run.

Well, it wasn’t like running would help anyway.

Once he touched someone, it was over. Like a plague, a fungus, it spread from person to person.

From the mother, crying over the body of her dead husband who had a few new bullet holes through his chest, who’d reached for the gun, seconds too late as his finger pushed down on the trigger, silent shots entering her body, choked sobs coming from the now-wailing child in the corner as she ran to her mother’s body, shaking it as the ground rumbled from a nearby explosion.

To the shopkeeper, trying to defend his store, not wanting any men, especially strange foreign men, hiding in it to take cover from the gunfire and activity in the streets. The shotgun had been heavy in the man’s hand. One shot rang out, and Ghost had signaled forward with his hand, Soap’s knife embedding itself in the man’s neck before another shell casing clattered emptily against the floor.

Or the soldier, who’d probably been drafted or forced, or maybe even joined when he had been young and dreamed of glory, forced to fight an old man’s war. He hadn’t known the weight of taking a life yet, not when the bullet from Ghost’s sniper rifle tore through his head, body thudding against the floor, the family photo tucked into his pocket not enough to protect him when it mattered.

It was all the same to him.

Get the job done. Go home. Live another day and wait for your next mission.

That was how it had always been. But it didn’t mean the nightmares weren’t any better, that he didn’t feel any less bit of nagging guilt for the orphaned children, the grieving families, the war-raised countries feeding the newest generations hatred and violence, how to pull a trigger and not how to be a decent human being.

It was worse tonight.

He’d woken, cold sweat clinging to the back of his neck, limbs tensing and relaxing rapidly as he tried to focus on his surroundings. He was in the house. One window on the left wall, a door on the right one.

Price’s home.

The older man had offered him a place to stay while on leave, knowing that Simon usually just lurked at the base even when he could leave. He knew he had nowhere to go.

So he’d invited him out to a little house in the countryside, to stay for the three months they were both off. It hadn’t been terrible. Homemade meals, cooking, and cleaning up the house. He’d learned a thing or two about fixing leaky sink pipes, changing bulbs, fixing creaky doors and floorboards, and cleaning, and the fact that cooking bacon was a lot more terrifying than it looked, the grease popping up onto his arms and burning what skin wasn’t already numb.

It didn’t help that it hurt like hell.

Price was teaching him everything he’d somehow not picked up from his mother, things his father hadn’t even bothered trying to teach him, and no matter how much his older brother had cleaned up his life, he still hadn’t shown him any of this either.

Simon pushed the covers to one side of the bed, slipping out and letting his feet land against the cold floor. He began approaching the door, twisting the knob, stepping out, and walking down the hallway, legs carrying him to the kitchen for whatever reason. Probably muscle memory. He made a trip to the kitchen every time he woke up or couldn’t sleep.

A small thudding sound came from one of the rooms that had him whirling, stance shifting into a defensive one, and he realized that Gaz and Soap had decided to stay here a few nights too, probably feeling lonely on leave.

Sighing, he turned back and continued towards the kitchen, flicking one dimmer light on before grabbing a cup from a cabinet and filling it with water, draining the entire thing in one large gulp.

“What’re you doin’ up?”

It caught him completely off guard, almost embarrassingly so for the occupation he had. Price’s low, scratchy voice settling into the room.

He put the cup down. Turned.

Price looked like he’d just gotten up as well, hair a bit disheveled, only in some boxers, blue eyes bleary and filled with sleep still. He raised a brow, and Simon remembered the question all too suddenly.

“Nightmares.”

He answered abruptly, trying and failing to hide the slight tremble in his voice. The tremble that was also in his hand.

Price grunted in response, grabbing a cup, filling it with water from the sink, and gulping it down, eyes elsewhere, thinking about something. Like a less intense version of his scheming face.

“You wanna talk about it?”

No. He didn’t.

It was the same as any other nightmare. Blood, death, bombs, guns, grenades, war. What was there to even talk about?

But for some reason, his tongue betrayed him.

“I..”

The word slipped out instead of the usual flat no. He saw his Captain’s surprise and slight curiosity. It was hard not to.

He stood there like an idiot, not sure what to say, throat drying up as he grabbed his cup again, the movement to fill it and swallow the water almost mechanical.

“I don’t know.”

He concluded, walls being built back up, hiding him away again. But Price wasn’t having it. He could tell.

A small nod from his Captain. His lips separated, and he expected the usual statements of pity of sorries, or the empty justifications or assurances, but instead got something he never would’ve expected.

“I’m ordering you a tactical cuddle, Ghost. Recon in my bed at 2300 hours.”

He was left there, speechless, as Price gave his order, and then walked back to his room.

He checked the clock that was always a bit fast and sat on the kitchen wall. He had two minutes before the official “Recon” at the bed.

Taking another swig of water, he figured that he had an order; and he would damn well see it through as he began walking to Price’s room down the hall, slowly pushing the door open, walking in, closing it behind him as his eyes adjusted to the complete darkness, and feeling around till his feet hit the corner if what felt like a bed frame.

“There you are,”

Price murmured as Simon finally found the bed, knees meeting the mattress first as he crawled in, laying down awkwardly with his stiff limbs and tense muscles. Price’s warm, broad hand found his bicep before it slid down to his side right near his ribs. He heard the man shift, pulling some blankets over Simon, before another hand wrapped around him on his other side, gently wrapping around him as Price’s warm chest met his scarred back.

The thudding from the other room was steady against the wall and had him on edge before he finally figured out exactly what was going on in the room over.

“Those muppets, going to town on each other like we aren’t right here.”

Price muttered, making a little huff of laughter leave Simon before he realized something.

Simon Riley had hardly been held before, the only time being when he was a baby. It felt safe and warm like he didn’t have to worry about how many magazines or clips he had left, or the scope he was using, or the exfil, or friendlies versus the enemy. He was safe.

And as Price’s hands began gently rubbing into his skin, making him melt into his superior’s touch, he couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, his touch wasn’t so rotten at all.

Tags:

@hawke1917

@angstober

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter four: "I've lost a friend"  

Summary: Spencer has to go back to work after Raven was born and (Y/N) has a bad feeling about it.  Word count: 7.883 Warnings: Criminal minds case info, shootings, swearing, and fluff, the usual.  A/N: Hey! Thank you for reading! I love this chapter 'cos I love writing about Spencer's life as a dad. Of course he has a million pictures of his babies on his desk, and he loves spoiling them. He is the best dad ever! how do you picture Spencer as a dad? 

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Spencer’s point of view

I didn’t want to be back at work. I wanted to be home with my wife and kid. I missed them both terribly the whole time, and there were not enough pictures on my desk to help me cope with those feelings. I kept texting (Y/N) during the day, and it was relieving to know she and my mom were there to help her with Raven and keep her company. 

Did you know that during the seventh week of life, a baby can track a moving object with their eyes? I was missing Raven learning how to follow us walking around the room. And her hands were almost completely open, so she was ready to start grabbing hair, or even blankets. I was gonna miss that for catching psychopaths.  

- “Spence! I missed you! Welcome back!”- JJ said as he hugged me the second I walked out of the elevator. She caught me completely by surprise. 

- “Hey, JJ! Thanks! How are you?”- I tapped her back and looked around. Garcia was there, holding a bowl filled with homemade bird-shaped cookies and Derek waved. 

- “And how is my little goddaughter? And my beautiful munchkin?”- Pen asked as she hugged me next. 

- “They are fine. Raven is adorable and (Y/N) is doing an amazing job with her. She's a pro. I’ve timed her changing diapers ‘cos I need to beat her time.” 

- “I bet it is hard staying away from them.”- Derek said as we walked to the bullpen straight to our desks. 

- “This was the first time ever I didn't want to come to work.”- I confessed and took a framed picture of Raven from my satchel, and placed it on my desk.- “But (Y/N) made sure I had a reminder of what waits for me back home.”  

- “Dirty diapers?”- Morgan chuckled and I frowned, shaking my head- “I know, I’m just joking, kid. I missed you. I’m glad you are back, even if you’ll be stuck at the desk for another month.” 

- “You are?”- JJ asked, surprised. 

- “Yeah, I talked to Hotch. I won’t be traveling with you for the next couple of weeks. I don’t wanna leave (Y/N) alone with Raven for too long, they need me.” 

That plan worked for the first two weeks after I reincorporated for duty. Until it didn’t, obviously.

It was the perfect Saturday afternoon. (Y/N) and I were bathing a nine-week-old Raven. She was enjoying her time in the water. We had a tiny tub for her and while my wife held her head, I helped rub her little body with soap. 

- “Look at you, little Raven, you are so clean you are not gonna puke again tonight, right?”- (Y/N) joked looking at our baby. 

- “I don’t think she meant puking on you.”- I replied and chuckled. 

- “Twice today? That’s five this week for me and just twice for you.”- my wife raised an eyebrow as she looked at me for a second - “I think you and Raven have an alliance and are trying to make me lose our bet.” 

- “That’s absurd!”- I laughed and splashed a little water on (Y/N)'s face. - “Don't be a bad loser, chipmunk.” 

- “You two are cheating, Batsy! I know it!”- the phone ruined our moment that second. It was my cell phone, which meant that Saturday evening was ruined. We had a case. 

My wife stared at me and sighed as I quickly stood up and picked up. It was Hotch, and he wasn’t happy to bother us. 

- “I’m sorry, Reid. But you are gonna have to travel with us this time. I’ll give you the details in the BAU.” 

I sighed as I hung up the phone. (Y/N) walked to me holding Raven wrapped in a puffy purple towel. 

- “Case?” 

- “Yeah, and Hotch said I have to go with the team.”- my wife nodded and sighed. We both knew it was going to happen eventually. We just didn’t realize it was gonna happen so soon. 

- “Can you ask your mom to come and help?”- but she shook her head and kissed Raven’s head. 

- “We are gonna be ok, honey bunny. Am I right, Birdie?- and just on cue, our baby girl yawned. - “See? we’re gonna sleep all night long.”

- “I’m gonna call you as soon as I know where we are going, and I’ll text you as soon as we land. Ok?”- (Y/N) nodded and kissed my lips. 

- “Please, take care, Batsy.”

- “You know I will.”- and I meant every word. - “Let me help you put Birdie in her pajamas before I leave.” 

Blake picked me up and drove me to the BAU. I didn’t want to leave (Y/N) without the car, in case there was an emergency and she had to take our baby to the doctor. She was very upset that we were called in for a case. As we walked out of the elevator in the BAU, she was telling me her husband, James, was visiting and according to her words, he was left all alone cooking and watching “House Hunters” without her. 

- “I know how you feel.”- I said as we walked to the team that was gathered at our desks. - “We were giving Raven a bath with lavender oils to help her relax, and we were going to cook a nice dinner, maybe try to catch up with Doctor Who. Until I got that call.”

- “We get Henry to bed”- JJ looked at me, telling the story of her evening to Rossi, Morgan, and Penelope as well. - “And, you know, we're about to finally have some alone time with mommy and daddy, and… you guys know the rest.”

- “Ah, trying to dust off the old cobwebs?”- Derek teased and Garcia immediately hit his arm. 

- “Inappropriate!”

- “What?”- Morgan chuckled, and Garcia somehow overlooked the fact it was actually inappropriate and asked. 

- “Seriously, though, how long has it been?”- Morgan insisted.  

- “Too long.”- JJ’s face fell as she confessed, and Blake turned to Rossi asking. 

- “Do we know what the case is?”

- “Not yet. Hotch just said to drop everything and get back here.”- he replied, but that was all I heard about the case. Garcia kept talking with JJ about her needing time alone with Will, and I got a text from (Y/N). She sent a picture of Raven asleep in our bed, surrendered by pillows. I smiled as I looked at it, and wished I was back home with them. 

- “Miss you already.”- I texted back and sighed. 

- “You need some private adult time. I'll watch Henry. No bad guys, no kids, in that order. Go to Mexico. Or the Maldives, maybe.”- Garcia kept talking as I placed the phone back into my pocket. 

- “Cruz?”- JJ said 

- “Yes! Exactly. A cruise would be perfect.” 

- “No, no, no. Matt Cruz.”- JJ pointed at the other side of the bullpen, where our Section Chief talked with Hotch. If Cruz was there, then it meant the case was serious, which also explained why Hotch was forcing me to go with the team. 

Matt Cruz started presenting the case. That was weird. I looked around the room and my eyes found Blake. She cut me a short smile, which I reciprocated. Call me lame, but I missed my wife. Working without her was bizarre. I was used to having her as my partner in crime. Or more accurately, my partner fighting crime. 

- “A good friend of mine, Sheriff Peter Coleman, down in Briscoe County, Texas reached out to me about a possible case. He's a former Texas Ranger, he's a good guy.”- Matt started explaining, and Hotch continued.  

- “He read about our work on The Silencer case two years ago. He asked for a consult.”

- “What do we have?”- Blake asked right away, eager to solve that case, I suppose. We all wanted to go back home. At least I know that was all I had in mind.

- “Abigail Jones. Prostitute.”- Cruz explained. - “She was found in a dumpster last night.”

- “What's that on her wrists?”- Morgan asked, staring at the pictures on the screen. But Cruz failed to zoom in on the images, and Garcia had to help. (Y/N) would have laughed at the scene and made any sassy comment. But instead, no one even chuckled. 

- “Rope burns.”- Rossi pointed out, and Cruz continued explaining. 

- “Which goes hand in hand with lacerations on her back.”

- “There's also a gun wound to the back of her head, execution style.”- JJ said, sitting next to me.  

- “It's a conflict in M. O.”- I looked at the crime scene’s pictures on the screen. - “The cutting and restraining, point to a sexual sadism, but the gun wound ends the torture too quickly for a sadist.”

- “Is that the only victim?”- Blake asked. But of course, there were more. 

- “There's Hannah Kelly, another prostitute, killed six months ago, dumped one jurisdiction over.”

- “Forensic countermeasure.”- Blake added - “Smart enough to separate the victims so we won't tie them together.”

- “And practical, too.”- Matt Cruz commented. - “The body was left in a hooker row, where they picked up their Johns. Which brings us to our first victim, Lucas Wagner, killed eleven months ago. Multiple arrests for soliciting a prostitute. He was found outside of a crack house where some of them lived.”

- “He takes a paying customer and drops them where the girls live. That sends a message that nobody's safe.”- Derek commented and Hotch nodded at his words. 

- “Tell Sheriff Coleman we're on our way.”

And so I was on my way to Texas with the team. I texted my wife to tell her where we were going and asked her to keep me updated about her night with Raven, knowing I wasn’t going to sleep much on the plane thinking they were home alone.

- “Birdie is almost snoring.”- (Y/N) texted and sent a picture of our baby nearly drooling, and looking a lot like her mother when dreaming. 

- “Kiss those baby cheeks from me.”- I typed quickly and chuckled. JJ sat next to me on the jet and looked at my phone’s screen. 

- “Oh my god! Raven is adorable!”- she said, staring at the picture. - “And how is (Y/N) doing? I feel like a lousy friend, I haven’t visited as much as I’d like.”      

- “She is great. She is an amazing mother. I feel so guilty for leaving them home alone.”- I confessed and sighed. The rest of the team joined us in the jet, getting ready for the takeoff.  

- “Oh, come on, Spence. I bet you are an amazing dad.”- JJ assured me. - “Besides, you and (Y/N) were meant to be together and have babies.”

I just smiled and looked at the picture on my cellphone one more time. I know I had never been a huge fan of technology, but I was willing to change that if it meant getting pictures of Raven while I was away. 

We reviewed the case during the flight. Hotch paired me with Morgan to talk with everybody who had worked on the streets the prior night. We made it to Texas at breaking dawn, we had just time to get a coffee and head to work. 

- “You are already looking like a dad.”- Morgan teased me as I walked to the SUV, where one of the local cops was waiting for us. - “You are getting a dad bod.” 

- “What are you talking about?”- I frowned confused - “What’s a dad bod?” 

- “A ‘dad body’, genius. Look at your stomach, you are getting bulky.”

- “I am not bulky!”- I sucked in my stomach immediately, which made my friend laugh even harder. - “My wife just happens to be a great cook.”

- “We know, and I’m glad she is making you eat proper food and not just takeout.”- Morgan got into the car and the cop guided us to a place called “Joel’s Bar.” 

- “Not too many spots for working girls to go to, so this will be your best shot.”- he explained as we got out of the SUV under the already burning Texas morning sun. 

- “And you turn a blind eye to what goes on in here?”- I asked him as I unbuttoned the lowest bottom of my sweater, already conscious of how it looked like it was too tight. 

- “Agent, we only got one bar around here.”- the official explained- “Monday night's karaoke, Tuesday's line dancing, and the girls are discreet. Can't hardly tell the professionals from the locals who just want to get their drink on. Not to mention, we shut this place down, then what?”

- “The devil you know kind of thing.”- Morgan said and looked at me with a smug smirk. 

By the end of the day, we had nothing. The entire police force was very eager to help us, but so far, we didn’t have much to investigate. Back at the hotel, I laid on my bed and dialed (Y/N)’s phone number. I waited patiently for her to pick up, but she didn’t, and the call went to voicemail. I immediately panicked and dialed again. After a few seconds, I heard my wife’s voice on the other side of the line, and Raven’s desperate cries. 

- “What happened?”- I asked immediately  

- “Colics, she started crying an hour ago.”- my wife quickly explained. -“I’ve been walking with her around the apartment the entire time, trying to calm her down. Sorry I didn’t pick up when you called, we were in the kitchen and I didn’t hear the phone.” 

- “No, chipmunk, don’t worry. I am so sorry I’m not there to help you.”- my heart ached hearing my daughter cry at the other side of the line, knowing there was nothing I could do at the minute to calm her down from Texas.  

- “I can call you back when she is calmer if you want”- I imagined my wife holding the phone between her neck and her ear as she carried Raven across the apartment. 

- “Can you put me on speaker, I wanna talk to her.”- I begged, knowing it was the only thing I could do. I heard her struggling with the phone until she announced I was on speaker. 

- “She can hear you now, honey.” 

- “Hey Raven.”- I whispered, but my daughter kept crying. - “Hey baby birdie, it’s your dad, remember me? The tall guy with the crazy hair that keeps kissing your mommy.”- my baby sobbed and I closed my eyes. All I wanted that minute was to teleport and hold her close to my chest. 

- “We miss you, Daddy.”- (Y/N) said and I smiled for a second. - “Tell us about the case.” 

- “You don’t really wanna know.” 

- “True, I don’t want the details. But are you close to catching the guys?”

- “Yeah, definitely.”

- “You are such a lousy liar.”- I smiled knowing my wife had smiled for a second. - “I miss you.”

- “Me more. And I miss that little crying baby as well.”- for a moment, Raven gave us a truce and whined more quietly- “Did you give her the antispasmodic drops?” 

- “Yes, they should be kicking in as we speak.” 

- “Good, I can’t stand knowing she is in pain.”- I whispered, relieved.  

- “I know how you feel.”- my wife sighed and made a long pause. I stared at the ceiling, picturing the two of them in the room with me. - “I don't like this, honey. I’m sorry.” 

- “What? The call?”- somehow, I was lost.  

- “No. Having you away, I don’t like it. I have a bad feeling about this.” 

- “It’s just because it’s the first time I’ve been away since we had Raven. But I promise we’ll be together as soon as possible.”

- “I feel so guilty, ‘cos I think I’m so scared and stressed out, I gave Raven the colics.”

- “It’s not your fault.”- I replied without even hesitating for a second. - “It’s not your fault, chipmunk.”- I repeated in a softer tone of voice. - “Did you have dinner?”

- “No… I’m not hungry. You?”

- “Neither… I just wanted to come to my room and talk to you.” 

- “You should eat, honey bunny. You need to be strong to think straight and solve that case so you can come home soon.”

- “You should eat too. You need to be strong to take care of our baby girl.”- (Y/N) didn’t reply, instead, she chuckled softly.  

- “She fell asleep.”- she whispered and I smiled, closing my eyes, relieved. 

- “It’s good to know that even from another state I can bore my daughter till she falls asleep.”

- “She relaxes when she hears you”- my wife explained. - “She knows it’s you since she was still in my womb.”  

- “I wanna be there with you two.” 

- “We miss you. I wanna cuddle with you.” 

- “I wanna do more than just cuddle with you.”- I replied in a lower voice and heard my wife giggling. 

- “Dirty daddy, talking like that to mommy.”- and those names did something to me. Something that made me feel like a perv. 

- “Get some sleep, honey bunny.”- (Y/N) suggested. - “I’m gonna put Raven in her crib and make me a sandwich or something.” 

- “Yes, ma cherie. I love you.” 

- “I love you more. Talk to you tomorrow, ok?”

(Y/N)’s point of view 

Day two without Spencer was messy. Raven woke me up six times during that night. And the following morning, when she finally closed her eyes and I tried to get some sleep, Spencer called and then I couldn’t go back to bed, so I decided to do laundry and get some cleaning done around the house before Raven woke up. Of course, my daughter woke up before I could get anything finished, and I had to carry her around the house as I did the dishes, folded clean underwear, and put away the trash. 

Frank and Lu stopped by after lunch and kept me company and sane for a while. Spencer texted and told me they were closer to cracking the case, which gave me hope. It was a three-hour flight between home and Texas, he could be there by dinner if things went well. 

But they didn’t. 

Instead of Spencer’s call around eight, I got one from Penelope. And it was the call that confirmed my biggest fear. 

- “Munchkin, I’m so sorry.”- Garcia was crying as she tried to explain what had happened. My heart nearly stopped as soon I heard the state she was in. That couldn't be good news.

- “What is it? What happened to Spencer?”- I freaked out right away and held Raven closer to me, in an attempt to remain sane. Only one thing would make Penelope call me in that state, and I feared the worst right away. 

- “He was shot in the neck. They are taking him to the hospital now.”

I don't think I could ever explain what happened to me that second. I know I would have gone mental if it wasn't for my baby in my arms. My stomach dropped and my hands started shaking, but I knew I had to be strong for Raven.

I didn’t hesitate. I did the SSA thing to do and remained logical and somehow not completely hysterical. I dropped the phone and grabbed Raven’s bag, my purse, and got into the car. In twenty minutes I was in Quantico, and in half an hour I was in Garcia’s office, trying to understand what had happened. My baby daughter looked at me as I held her against my chest in her carrier, her chocolate eyes wide open, staring at the tears that kept falling from my face, no matter how badly I tried to stop them. 

It was the first fucking case Spencer had been a part of after becoming a father. And all I knew was that he had been shot.

- “I convinced Cruz to take me to Texas to put an eye on Reid.”- Garcia announced as she stood up from her desk and I grabbed my bag immediately. 

- “We are going with you.”

- “What? No! You are not! My goddaughter can’t travel to Texas, out of the blue! you would…”

- “I don’t think you get this, Pen. I am not asking you if I can come. I am going with you to be with my husband. Now!” 

- “Munchkin… this is…”

- “I’m not gonna be ok until I see he is safe and sound. So let’s go, now!”

Yes, I was harsh and it wasn’t fair on Penelope, ‘cos it wasn’t her fault my husband had been shot. But for once, I was losing my sanity. All I wanted was to be next to my husband, hold his hand, and kiss his lips. I needed to hear his laughter and stare into his beautiful eyes. The same eyes his daughter had inherited, and that stared at me as I made my way to the elevator, following Penelope and Cruz, on our way to the jet. 

The trip was eternal, the longest three hours of my life. I was glad Raven behaved like a princess and didn’t cry during take-off. She got a little fuzzy at the end, but Garcia helped me carry her and change diapers during the trip. I felt quite guilty, now looking back in time. I wasn’t in my right mind. I was losing it, honestly. I was scared to death of anything happening to Spencer. I knew the risk was part of our job, but I wasn’t ready to deal with it. Not with a two-month-old baby girl in my arms that needed her dad as much as I needed him. I don't know how to live without Spencer. And honestly, I don’t want to learn how to. 

When Pen, Cruz, and I reached the hospital, we found JJ and Blake, waiting for news of Spencer's surgery. The two of them hugged us tight and kissed Raven’s sleepy head. 

- “How is he?”- I asked right away and Blake sighed, exhausted, as she explained. 

- “Still in surgery.”

- “You all can see Agent Morgan now.”- one nurse announced and Garcia and JJ stood up right away. Blake turned to me and my baby and whispered. 

- “Well, if you don't mind, I'd really like to stay here.”

- “We’d love the company.”- I replied and felt her hand on mine. She was freezing cold.  

- “The second you hear anything, call me.”- JJ said as she stood up and walked away with the nurse and Cruz. 

- “Hey, I’ll be right back”- Garcia whispered and cut me a short smile. I just nodded and watched them walk away. 

- “How are you holding up?”- Blake asked and I chuckled, tears filling my eyes right away. 

- “I’m literally holding the only person that can keep me sane right now.”- I whispered and looked at my sleepy baby in my arms- “I just… can’t… I could never live without him.” 

- “You won’t have to. I am sure he is going to be ok.”

I stayed in silence and just nodded. Blake and I didn’t say another word for a long time, as we waited for anyone to come and give us news of my husband’s health. 

As we waited, I called my mom and texted Lu, Mikey, and Frank to tell them what was going on. I felt so alone in that hospital room. Though Hotch and Rossi had stopped by to hug us on their way out, and even when Blake and eventually also Garcia were sitting right next to me, I felt so lonely it was insane. My mother freaked out, of course. Not only because Spencer was in surgery, but because I had traveled alone with Raven to be with him. Lu, Mikey, and Frank were just as scared as I was and made me promise to call as soon as I had news of Spencer’s condition.

- “Agent”- after what felt like an eternity, a doctor walked over to us and we stood up to hear the news. 

- “How is my husband?”- I asked immediately, and realized I had to clarify- “How is agent Reid.”

- “Incredibly lucky. Two millimeters to the right the bullet would have torn through the carotid artery. It nicked some smaller vessels, but we've stopped the bleeding.”- I sighed, relieved, and kissed Raven’s head, as she kept sleeping against my chest. 

- “You can see him now.”- he announced, and I started walking right away. Blake followed close behind, calling JJ to update her on Spencer’s status. 

My husband was unconscious after surgery. He was pale, his hair was a mess, and it was heartbreaking just staring at him. I ran my fingers through his messy hair as Penelope set some of his favorite Dr. Who dolls that he kept on his desk, on a table in front of him, so he could look at them as soon as he woke up. Blake sat next to him and Garcia stood at one corner of the room, staring outside the window for a moment. Raven was asleep in her baby wrap carrier, drooling against my chest. 

I felt so useless as I sat on Spencer’s bed and held his hand, waiting for him to wake up. I also finally understood why mom hated dad’s job so much, and why she had decided to divorce him. They were still in love with each other when they divorced, maybe they still were until that day. But mom decided she had had enough of his work and took a step aside. 

After two hours, or so, Spencer finally opened his eyes. I was breastfeeding Raven, still sitting on one side of his bed when he woke up. He looked confused and in a lot of pain, but still, he smiled as soon as he saw me and Raven next to him. 

- “I’m sorry, chipmunk.”- he whispered as I leaned and kissed his lips a couple of times. 

- “We were so afraid.”- I sobbed, caressing his cheeks over and over again. I hadn’t realized I was crying until that moment. I was tired of keeping the tears to myself because I don’t like crying in front of people. But I couldn’t do it anymore. It was just too much. 

- “I’m so, so sorry.”- Spencer whispered again. I tried to cut him a short smile as I shushed him with two fingers on my dry lips, the ones he kissed right away, making my heart skip a beat. 

- “Don’t worry, we are here now, with you. We are gonna take care of you.”- Spencer nodded at my words and sighed. He looked at Raven for a moment and then turned to Alex and Garcia. 

- “Thank you for being here.” 

- “No problem.”- Blake whispered with tears in her eyes as Garcia jumped on her spot and announced she was going to get my husband something to eat, to keep him strong. 

- “Can I hold her?”- Spencer asked me. I nodded and placed Raven on his chest, and watched how the two of them seemed to find a peace no one else could give them. Their bond has always been strong, ever since she was still inside me, and it has only grown stronger with time. 

- “How did you get here?”- Spencer whispered and I just shook my head. 

- “I might need to apologize to Garcia, ‘cos I kinda yelled at her. She convinced Cruz to take us with him to Texas as soon as we heard what happened.”- I confessed and bit my lip embarrassed. Blake turned to me and smiled sweetly. 

- “I’m sure she is not mad at you, (Y/N). She was just as worried as we were all.” 

- “When this comes off, I’m gonna look just like Boris Karloff”- my husband joked, pointing at the bandage on his neck. Blake and I chuckled and nodded. 

- “Yeah, a little green makeup and you’ll have the best Halloween costume ever.”- she added and I smiled, picturing Spencer as Frankenstein. He closed his eyes for a moment, and it ached my heart to think he was in pain or relieving the whole incident in his head over and over again. 

- “Everybody is fine.”- Alex assured him - “Don’t worry.” 

- “I’m not…”- he replied, caressing Raven’s back with his hand sweetly. But we both knew he was lying. Blake turned to me and I just shook my head. 

- “You’ve got that furrowed brow.”- but before I could argue with him any longer, Garcia walked into the room with a tray filled with food as she kept talking on the phone with the team, I was sure. 

- “Will you look who's still awake!”- she smiled and brightened the room, like the ray of sunshine she is- “Can you tell her she can go now, please?”- Garcia asked my husband, and looked at Blake.

- “I'm ok, Alex. Go help the team.”- she nodded and held Spencer’s hand one more time as she said

- “All right. I'm out of here. I'm glad you're awake.”

- “Thank you.”- my husband smiled at her and watched her walk out of the room. 

- “Ok now.”- Garcia placed the food in front of my husband- “Juice, broth, or Jell-O?”- I knew exactly what Spencer was going to pick.

- “Jell-o, my favorite!”

- “Let me take Raven so you can sit down.”- I moved and grabbed our baby daughter, who immediately started arguing she didn’t want to be away from her dad. 

- “I can’t believe how bossy this little angel can be.”- Garcia joked as she looked at her. 

- “Just like her mom.”- Spencer teased and I gasped, pretending to be surprised. 

- “How dare you?”- my husband smiled, masking the pain he clearly was in. I walked Raven across the room as he stared at us in silence, and Garcia grabbed her laptop and continued talking on the phone with JJ. I honestly didn’t pay much attention to what she was saying, I didn’t want to know much of the case. I just wanted to take Spencer back home with us. 

- “Eat your jell-o”- I whispered and turned to my husband, who sighed and grabbed the spoon.- “Mom asked me to call her as soon as you woke up. I should let her know you are ok.”

- “Why did you tell her what happened?”- Spencer frowned and started arguing immediately. - “It wasn’t…”

- “It was. And you are ok now. That’s all that matters.”- he didn’t debate, probably ‘cos he could read on my face how worried I had been, the lack of sleep, and the relief I felt to see he was getting better. Instead of talking, he finished his jello and I fixed his pillow. 

- “I’ll be right back, I need coffee. Do you guys need anything?”- Garcia announced as she stood up and left her computer on the chair. 

- “Thank you, I’m ok.”

- “Can you put Raven in bed with me?”- Spencer asked as he got ready to sleep. His daughter was pretty much doing the same thing, so I carefully placed her on his chest again and watched him covering her with his blanket. 

- “I’m gonna text mom. Get lots of rest, ok? I’ll be here when you wake up.”- I kissed my husband goodnight and smiled at him as he sighed one more time. 

- “I love you, Mrs. Reid. I’m sorry I made you worry.”- his voice was a soft whisper, filled with concern and regret.  

- “I love you too, Dr. Reid. In sickness and health, remember? That includes bullets, poisoning, and any field injury we haven’t gotten yet.”- I joked and kissed him one more time. He smiled and closed his eyes, caressing Raven’s back carefully. 

My whole family was there in that hospital room, and even when circumstances weren’t the best, I felt at peace knowing the three of us were safe and together. 

Though apparently, the concept of “safe” wasn’t going to last long. A few minutes later, when Spencer and Raven were completely asleep and I was texting my mom, Garcia walked in and closed the door behind her back as she kept talking with someone on the phone, clearly freaking out.

- “Ok, I did that, now what?”- she said and I looked at her, frowning, confused. - “Yes, yes I can do that.” - she took a look around the room quickly and stared at a wheelchair - “Yes!”

- “What’s going on?”- I stood up and looked at her. 

- “That’s not going to be easy.”- she ignored me and kept talking with who I later found out was Derek. 

- “Pen? What is it?”

- “Oh my god, what?”- she kept gasping and her eyes watered up in a second, stopping my heart and putting me in total alert. - “Ok.”- she finally put herself together and hung up the phone. 

- “Garcia, what is going on?”

- “We need to take Reid out of here.”- she commanded as she put the wheelchair next to his bed.- “Take Raven and help me wake him up.”

- “What the fuck is happening?”- I didn't get why moving my wounded husband was necessary.

- “Bad things, munchkin. We have to keep Spencer safe from the corrupted police force in town.”

- “What?!”- I didn't hesitate and moved as quickly as possible to put Raven on the carrier. Penelope woke Spencer up and asked him to get in the wheelchair, as fast as possible. My poor husband was so lost he didn’t get what was happening and didn’t ask much. He was more worried for Raven’s and my safety than his own. 

Once we managed to put him on the chair, Garcia took him out immediately and pulled the fire alarm on her way out. I followed her with my baby, trying to remember if things had been that crazy before. Yes, they were. And they got even crazier.

Spencer’s point of view  

I still remember the moment I got shot in the neck while in my very first time on the field after Raven was born. I was trying to cover Alex from the shooting when I felt the pain knock me back and my head hit the ground.

Bullets were coming from everywhere, and all I could think of at that minute was of my baby daughter, and how I had been so stupid to get shot. I couldn’t leave her alone, I had just become a dad. I had so much to do with her. I wanted to hear her first words and watch her first steps. Take her to her first school day. There was so much left of fatherhood to discover, I couldn’t die that day. 

- “Ethan! Ethan! Open your eyes!”- I knew Blake was talking to me, but I didn’t know why she was calling me that name. That was the last thing I recall and the next thing I knew, I was in an ambulance with Morgan. Then, my mind went blank until I woke up in a hospital bed, and (Y/N) was sitting next to me, breastfeeding Raven. The sight made me wonder if I was in heaven because she looked like an angel holding a tiny cherub. 

I felt my wife’s embrace and her tears on my skin as she held me close. I wished I could hold her, but moving was still too painful for me. So I did what I could, and caressed her cheek and Raven’s head. I felt so guilty when I saw how concerned she was, and I could only imagine what she had thought when she got the news I had been shot. How has she gotten to Texas so quickly? How long had I been out? I wanted to ask a million questions, but at the minute, all I managed to do was apologize to her for getting hurt. 

Alex and Garcia were there too. I still wanted to ask Alex who Ethan was, but I figured she might not like to share that in front of everybody. Garcia kept working, and soon after I woke up, Alex left to join the team with the investigation. It was clear something was very wrong when (Y/N) and Pen asked me to get in a wheelchair, and Garcia explained the details as we waited outside the hospital. Apparently, the entire police force was corrupted and wanted to kill me to cover their tracks. 

- “He is gone. They are letting us back in.”- once we were taken back to the hospital, Garcia called Morgan to update him. - “I lost a couple of karma points, but yeah, I did it.”

- “Are you ok, chipmunk?”- I asked my wife as we re-entered the room, Raven was starting to get fuzzy and I calculated it was time for her feeding. 

- “Yeah, we are just fine, honey. You just get some rest, ok?”- my wife smiled at me and sat on a couch on the other side of the room to feed our baby. I got back into my bed and stared at her in adoration, as Garcia announced Morgan was on his way to the hospital. 

- “Are you ok?”- Garcia asked and helped me fix the covers on my bed. 

- “I’m just very tired.”- I confessed and sighed, exhausted after that day. 

- “Of course you are. You need to get some sleep.”- and just as she said those words, a male nurse walked in with my chart. - “Oh, but how can you sleep? 'Cause you're in a hospital where people are always poking you.”

- “He had his meds an hour ago.”- (Y/N) pointed out from the couch and the nurse turned to her with a look I didn’t really like. 

- “Yeah, post-op antibiotics.”

- “Yeah, he had those, too.”- Garcia added 

- “Which ones?”- I asked and tried to read the name on the bottle the nurse was holding. - “Carbenicillin? No, that's not right. I have a severe reaction to beta-lactams. I can't have that.”- I argued as the nurse simply took a look at the notes and shook his head. 

- “That's not in your chart.”- and after those words, he proceeded to add it to my IV. 

- “What are you doing? What are you doing?”- I freaked out right away, knowing how bad that was gonna be for me if it reached my blood. I took the needle from my arm, and slapped the antibiotic from his hands just the minute I saw a gun hidden in the back of his pants. 

And my baby daughter was in the same room. That was all I could think of. 

- “Garcia! He has a gun!”- I yelled- “Chipmunk! protect Raven!”

And just like that, there was a gunshot. I heard my baby crying and looked around me. (Y/N) had our daughter’s ears covered against her chest and hands and stared at me in shock. Garcia wasn't moving. She was holding my gun with both hands as if her life depended on it. As it did. 

- “He's moving.”- Penelope whispered, terrified and one second later, Morgan walked into the room that second and pointed his gun at the nurse. 

- “Chipmunk, stay right there. Are you and Raven ok?”- I whispered and looked at my wife. Her eyes moved from me to the nurse on the floor and then to Raven, and back to me, scared.  

- “Yes… you?”- she was still stunned, and holding our daughter as close to her chest as possible. 

- “I didn't know how loud. I can't hear, 'cause my heart feels like it's gonna come out. Can that happen?”- Garcia was rambling, shocked- “ Physically, can your heart burst out of your chest? And what is this ringing? My ears don't pop for like a week after I fly, and if this is like that, that's gonna drive me bonkers. Am I yelling? Because it feels like I might be yelling.” 

- “You saved my life.”- I turned to her and took the gun from her hands as she stared at me with an astonished look in her eyes, and didn’t say another word- “Can you hear me?”

- “Yeah, I heard that. That makes it better. Thank you for saying that.”

- “Thank you for doing it.”- and as tears fell from her eyes, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me. 

- “Ok. You're ok.”- she whispered as I held her tight. Then I stood up and walked to the couch, where (Y/N) was still sitting, unable to move as she held Raven. 

- “Are you ok?”- she whispered as tears filled her eyes. I nodded and sat next to her, and in a second, she was crawling to my lap. I held her closer to me, feeling her and Raven’s breathing. Our baby kept crying for a few more minutes until I held her and kissed her chubby cheeks. My wife stared at me, shaking, and Morgan helped Garcia sit down for a minute. 

- “I wanna go home.”- (Y/N) whispered and looked at me with tears in her eyes. 

- “Me too, Chipmunk.” 

It took a few more hours until the team finally wrapped the case, and killed the unsub. That very same night we took the jet back home. I couldn’t wait to be back in Washington, in our apartment, in our bed. (Y/N) and Raven sat with me on our usual seat at the back of the jet and fell asleep in my arms. I was so exhausted after the case and surgery, I didn’t even fight the slumber, I just closed my eyes and hummed content to have my family with me. 

Blake helped us get home that night. She drove our car over to our apartment, ‘cos we were all too exhausted to drive ourselves. She helped us upstairs with our bags, and as soon as I opened the front door, I realized she had never been in our house before. 

- “Are you sure you are ok?”- Alex asked me and raised an eyebrow. 

- “I feel great. Ok, that's overselling it.”- I tried to joke- “I, uh, I feel great considering I just got shot in the neck.”

- “I’m gonna put Raven in her crib.”- (Y/N) whispered and walked to our room holding our baby daughter. 

- “Where do you want this?”- Alex asked, taking a look around the place. 

- “Any… right there is fine.”- I pointed at the empty space next to the couch and she just left the bags there. 

- “Ok. So, you should get some sleep.”- Blake stood in front of me and sighed. 

- “You all right?”- I asked straight away 

- “Yesterday touched a nerve when I saw you like that.”- she simply confessed. So I had to push her a little more. 

- “Who's Ethan?”

- “My son.”- I widened my eyes in shock. I never knew she had a son- “He was nine when he died. Doctors said it was neurological, but they didn't have a name for it. Still don't. That drove me crazy. No word to put to this thing that took away my greatest love.” 

- “I'm sorry.”- that was the best I could do, ‘cos honestly, I didn't know what else to say. 

- “He kept growing despite his disease. The last time I lay beside him he was almost as long as me. He was ready to go. But I wasn't ready to say goodbye.”- her voice broke at that last word, so she made a pause to compose herself, I guess. - “I begged him to open his eyes. And the cruelest part was that I could see who he would be at 20, but I knew he'd never get there.” 

- “Ethan is a great name.”- I don’t know why I said that, but it was the only thing I could think of that minute. Blake smiled and nodded. 

- “Yeah. It means enduring.”

- “It's fitting. You and James never let go of one another.”- Blake shook her head and sighed. She grabbed her things and walked to the door. But before she opened it, I asked her 

- “Have you ever had that feeling that your future is somehow behind you?” 

- “All the time.”- she replied right away, holding the doorknob. I heard Raven’s coos as I figured (Y/N) was changing her diaper. I looked over the room, though I couldn’t see any of them from the living room. 

- “I did, too. But it isn't.”- I replied to Alex, and she just smiled and nodded. 

- “Ethan would have been a lot like you.”

- “Thank you for being there when I woke up. That meant a lot.”- I confessed, feeling inside me that was the last time I was going to be able to thank her. 

- “Of course.” 

And just like that, she left the apartment.

- “Bye, Alex.”- I whispered as I stood there, still for a few seconds. Until my wife spared in the hall and held my hand. 

- “Where is Alex?  I was gonna make us some tea.” 

- “She is gone, Chipmunk. But I’d love some tea.”- I looked at her and kissed her lips slowly, feeling her humming against my body. 

- “Then I’ll make you a nice cup, honey bunny.” 

I stared at my wife walking to the kitchen and followed her as she boiled some water and took two mugs from the cupboard. She smiled at me and grabbed two bags of lavender tea as I stood behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. 

- “Are you ok?”- (Y/N) asked and placed her hands on mine. 

- “I love you, chipmunk.” 

- “I love you more, honey.” 

- “Sorry everything got so messy.” 

- “You are home safe. That’s all that matters.” 

As we stood there together, in comfortable silence, waiting for the water to boil, I sighed and remembered a Joseph Campbell quote: "We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

And that phrase really stuck with me during the years, because that injury was the first time I honestly thought I should leave the BAU and focus on my family, and I guess, it was the first step that led us to today, our last day at the FBI. Today (Y/N) and I are gonna get rid of the life we planned before getting married and have the life we are waiting to live with our kids. 

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

[victoryverse]

could i get some cuddling with Soap headcanons? gender neutral or fem reader please

cuddling with soap(headcanons)

Soap MacTavish is surprisingly a big softie when it comes to cuddling. Despite his tough exterior on the battlefield, he absolutely loves wrapping his arms around you and holding you close.

His favorite cuddle position is the classic spooning, where he can rest his chin on the top of your head and feel the warmth of your body against his. He often whispers sweet nothings or shares amusing anecdotes from his military adventures to make you laugh.

Soap is a fan of soft, fuzzy blankets, and he insists on having a pile of them whenever you cuddle. He believes the more blankets, the cozier the cuddle session.

Picture this: you're busy doing something, and suddenly, Soap appears with a mischievous grin, sweeps you off your feet, carries you to the couch and flops you down, holding you with his arms and locking your legs with his. And you can't really escape him, can you?

He's not just about physical cuddling; Soap loves engaging in deep conversations during. Whether it's sharing dreams, and fears, or just discussing the day, he values the emotional connection that cuddling brings.

On rainy or chilly days, Soap transforms the living room into a makeshift pillow and blanket fort. He's such a big softie, and only you know that.

Soap is a fan of forehead kisses, and he loves peppering your face with them during cuddle time. It's his way of expressing affection without needing words.

If you're ever feeling down, Soap is quick to pull you into a warm embrace. His strong arms and comforting presence make everything feel better, turning a gloomy day into a cozy haven of love.

Sometimes, he surprises you with homemade hot chocolate or your favorite snacks, elevating the cuddling experience with sweet treats and warmth. After all, nothing says love like a cup of hot cocoa in the arms of a rugged soldier.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

tell me if you like this! i wanted to add some smut too, but tell me if you want me to do another with smut

thanks!