#Holy Identit

[anotherprojectsekai-nah]

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Mr Little Liar - DARK STEAL (Main Story) Part 11

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Everyone hides things from people,either pasts, secrets, identites, and intentions. They all hide them, but one person hides everything behind anything. Anything, full of lies.

Previous Part - Next Part

(Next Day...)

(Saint Spring Middle School)

Smiling Student: "Morning guys."

Calm Student: "Morning."

Female Student A: "Wow! I never knew there would be a concert, especially from our favorite idol on the next month!"

Female Student B: "I know right? It's amazing! I bet their gonna be so cool on stage at where it's taking place."

Female Student A: "Yeah! I'm so excited about it!!"

???: "Excuse me, mind if I pass through please?"

Female Student A & B: "Hm?"

Kuro: Shine, shine "I'm running a bit late for my first time working here."

Female Student A & B: "Whoa!!!... So beautiful!"

Female Student A: "O-Of course! This way!"

Kuro: "Thank you."

Step, step, step

Aqua: "...Did you really have to do that?"

Kuro: "Well, I would have to try and see if they wouldn't notice me much. With these glasses of course."

Kuro: "Besides, our 1st goal is to pretend to be people here, make them believe we always been here."

Aqua: "...I see."

Kuro: "Remember what we discussed and planned yesterday, ok?"

Aqua: "Ok."

...

(Classroom)

Teacher: "Ok everyone, that would be for everything for this session. Your next session will come here..."

Kuro: "Right now."

Teacher: "Eh?"

Kuro: "Sorry if for my disturbance before dismissal, I came here just in time."

Teacher: "Ah, I see. Well, since your next subject teacher is here, I'll take my leave, goodbye everyone."

Step, step, step, step

Amazed Student: "Whoa, who is he?"

Adoring Student: "He looks absolutely handsome!"

Surprised Student: "I know right?!"

Black-haired Student: "..."

Kuro: "Ok everyone, welcome to music class. Since your current teacher for this subject is absent, I shall be the substitute."

Kuro: "The name is Kuro, so I'll need you all to listen to what were gonna learn today, even though I never taught someone before, do take notes."

Kuro: "Are you all ready?"

Students: "Yes!"

Kuro: "Ok then, let's begin."

Kuro: (So...the person inside this neutral classroom is Nozomu Okaya, one of Kiritaka's murderers, and Saint Spring's bullies here.)

Kuro: (I better keep focus and try to ask him about the other informations he has later.)

Kuro: (Won't be too long till I find the reason why he killed Kiritaka soon...)

(On Breaktime.)

Chattering

Nozomu: "Is that so?"

Student A: "Yeah, can you help me out with my homework? We can do it together!"

Nozomu: "...Maybe not. I'm quite busy with mine."

Student: "Oh, ok then.."

Step, step, step

Nozomu: "Hm."

Kuro: "Mr Okaya, was it? Mind if I could ask you something afterschool? If you have any problems with that."

Nozomu: "Oh, no no, I don't mind at all. Though, I may be late for something."

Kuro: "It's very much important though. I recommend you put that 'something' somewhere else."

Nomozu: "..."

Kuro: "..."

Nozomu: Sighs "Fine, as you say so."

Kuro: "Good."

Kuro: "Now, if you excuse me."

Step, step, step

Fangirling Student: "There he is!"

Fanboying Student: "Holy moly...so that's him."

"So cool!"

"I can't believe this!..."

"Look at him!"

"I didn't know the music substitute was this amazing looking!"

"Please have lunch with us!"

"No, he should have lunch with me!"

Nozomu: "This substitute..."

Nozomu: Glares "..."

Nozomu: "You sure quite a strange one."

...

(Rooftop)

Step, step, step

Kuro: Huff and puff

Kuro: (So much of them crowding me...)

Kuro: (But I managed to get an interrogation.)

Kuro: (Now, all I have to do is wait.)

Kuro: (It wouldn't be that bad at all, because...)

Kuro: Inhales... "I can finally read the best vampire bl novel in peace!"

Kuro: "Surely no one is here..."

Aqua: "..."

Kinugawa: "..."

Kuro: "...Oh." (There's someone here.)

[mathswizard]

conversation with my dad about nonbinary identites where he says "But using they/them as a singular is just irrational! It means multiple people" and bringing up neopronouns as an alternative fully expecting him to say something like "ugh inventing new pronouns are we?" but surprisingly he was down with it. hes got a long way to go but admitting that nonbinary identities are valid and exist AND accepting neopronouns? holy shit

[adarkrainbow]

Pierre Dubois: Lucy-Cinderella-Sleeping Beauty

If I took such a long time introducing Pierre Dubois, it is because I want to talk of his take on fairy tales - takes which, given the huge success of his books in the 90s and 2000s in France, is bound to have had an impact on media and tastes of the time.

And I want to begin with his Great Encyclopedia of Fairies in which he gives an article titled “Saint Lucia, Cinderella and the Sleeping Beauties”. The article starts with the description of a beautiful woman sleeping in a bed of frost, looking alive but abandoned, and from whose dream are born the shining shapes of the “maids of the dawn”. From this initial description, Dubois goes on to talk about the identity of this “sleeping beauty”, or rather her MANY identites.

Dubois  starts by describing the character of Saint Lucy, that he identifies as both a “winter witch” and a “spring fairy”. He first describes her more “witchy” aspects, reminding that in Bohemia she haunts the snow-white nights as a petrifying woman of frost, snatching children away in her basket before dragging them under the earth where she splits their belly open, fills them with straws and adds them to her “doll” collection - he adds to this first gruesome description how in Bavaria and Austria she can also appear as a flying goat or a bird-headed witch. He then moves on to Alsace and describes how this region “softened” the figure into a pale and blond woman with a crown of roses and candles, becoming the “Lady of Christmas” who wakes up the spirits of nature with a silver bell. He concludes this primary description with a mention that in northern countries she usually is said to appear out of the forest dressed in white, with a crown of holy and light, bringing food and fire to every home. 

This initial portrait of Saint Lucy is further consolidated with additional otes, such as how “Lucy” contains three different aspects: the primal witch, the spring goddess, and the saint ; how in winter she appears as a frost-ogress but in spring she becomes a lovely blond woman with flowers and seven candles in her hair. He adds how the female saints are in truth the “daughters” of the Fées (Fairies, as in Fairy-Ladies, because the French Fée is not the same thing as the British “fairy”), and thus that Saint Lucy is just a Christianized form of a more pagan Lucia “nymph”. He explains how she is found in Germany, Bavaria, Austria, Bohemia and Alsace (plus the north of Italy and the most northern regions of the world) ; he explains her role as being “she who brings back the spring, who wakes up nature and makes it fertile”, and he adds a Swedish legend according to which during a great famine Saint Lucy saved the country a 13th of December by bringing a lot of food, and so each year at this date, schools and churches chose a young girl who will play the role of Lucy: she becomes the “Queen of light”, all dressed in white, with a belt of poppies and a leafy crown with seven candles on it - and she goes around the town offering coffee and a type of brioche known as “crowns of Lucy” or “cats of Lucy”.

So far, so good, this is the Saint Lucy legend and feast you might have heard about.

Now we get into the second part of the article, in which Dubois “expands” the Saint Lucy character. He explains that she actually appears in many forms from mythological tales to legends, from folk tales to fairy tales. She is always a young girl locked in some sort of underground domain by an avatar of the “ogress of winter” (ogress who also manifests in the renowned figures of Berchta, of the Befana, or of the Cailleac Bheur). Sometimes the imprisoned maiden escapes on her own, other times it is the son of the wicked imprisoner that will help her flee out of love ; but most of the time, it is a brave “prince charming” that, after fighting many dangers, ends up waking her with a kiss and takes her away in a “castle of light”. And as soon as the maiden is out of her prison, as soon as she puts her feet onto the groud, then nature wakes up and the ground becomes green, then rivers are not frozen anymore and the sun shines, then flowers bloom and birds sing. This is the “wedding of saint Lucy”, or the “marriage of Saint Lucy”. 

To illustrate this archetypal myth that he identified, Pierre Dubois lists a series of various “names” under which the “Saint Lucy” character was known throughout history and cultures. And as you will see, there is a mix of mythological tales AND of fairy tales. He identifies as avatars of Saint Lucy:

# Persephone from Greek mythology.

# Little Red Riding Hood (from the Brothers Grimm version)

# The MANY incarnations of Cinderella: French Cendrillon, German Aschenputtel, Russian Chernushka, Serbian Pepeljuga, Netherland Assepoester, Askepisker from “Guldskoen/The Golden Shoe”), the Catalan Ventafoches... 

# Sleeping Beauty in all her variations, from the French to the German story, passing by Talia from “Sun, Moon and Talia” ; Zellandine/Zélandine from “Perceforest”

# Snow White 

# La Gatta Cenerentola, from the Pentamerone

# Rondallayre, from popular Catalan folk songs.

# And two French names I couldn’t identify the trace from, “Salie” (given it means “dirty” in feminine form I guess another Cinderella variant) and “Florissante”. And there’s also a “Lalie” whose origin I do not know either... 

But you get the idea. And ALL those characters, Dubois explicitely identifies as both “Sleeping Beauties” AND “Queens of May” (a reference to the May Queen and the traditions of the May Day in Europe). He even explicitely describes in one sentence “Cinderella leaving her cocoon of ashes to become the Beauty of May”. 

And now we reach the third part of the article... The Perrault hate. In my introduction to Dubois I mentionned he was a “folklorist” fairy tale enthusiast, not a “literary” fairy tale enthusiast. And it shows here with his GREAT dislike of Charles Perrault’s work. Already he starts by describing how the Sleeping Beauty tale is “enough in itself” to actually teach people the “seasonal liturgies”, how this “cult of the fairies” open ups the way to the “primordial enchantment” - he clearly presents all these “Sleeping Beauties” as the manifestations of a primordial myth about the cycles of nature and the passing of seasons. Ad then he adds how Perrault “turned away” and “denatured” the strong and beautiful original message of the tale by adding a “dull and unfit moral” and “reducing the seasonal Fairies to “brats stuffed with principles and devotions”. 

To express his strong dislike of the Perrault fairytale, he actually quotes for a very long time the words of Lucie Félix-Faure-Goyau (of her real name, Lucie Faure, a French woman of letters from the Turn of the century - aka the end of the 19th and beginning of the 20th century). Lucie was visibly a HUGE fan of Perrault, and if Dubois quotes her, it is only to take the very opposite side later. In Lucie’s own world, Perrault actually took back the old character of the fairy and dressed her in refined clothes, brought her to the marquesses and the salons of the upper-class society. Lucie had a lot of fun comparing the French “Belle au bois dormant” to the Italian Talia, and she concluded that were Talia’s story was “clumsy, rude and very primitive”, Perrault’s story was delicated, elegant and well-crafted She also compared it to the Grimms Snow-White, that she described as “wild” in comparison to the more “mythical” Belle. Lucie wrote that the French Sleeping Beauty was unique and elegant, the product of a refined civilization, and couldn’t be compared - she doesn’t sleep with “mountain gnomes”, but in the middle of a splendid court that stays dignified even in sleep, “as if the courtiers of Louis XIV had just fallen asleep while waiting for the return of their king” - she even declares that Basile should hide himself in shame, and she jokingly dares Snow White’s gnomes to put on the same rich and lavish clothes as the French fairytale characters. Lucie mentions that, indeed, Cinderella is a descendant of Rhodopis the seducer of old Egypt, but it does not matter because the French Cendrillon is a pure product of France, “student under Madame de Maintenon and brought before Louis XIV”. Lucie finally concludes the quote by claiming that Perrault’s fairies are “sincere, pure and pleasing, they are the Fairies of France, knowledgeable and cautious, sociable and moderate, not at all extravagant or excessive, almost cartesians.”

And to this lengthy quote, Dubois only has to reply that Perrault “buried the goddesses of the dawn” under a “mass of style”, that Cinderella wasn’t “adopted” by France but rather stuffed by a taxidermist of an author and beaten into submission without grace or happiness ; and finally that the sprit of the fairy tales died with Perrault, that the arrogant foolishness of the authors of the time made the Fairies detach themselves from the dawn, that these flowers withered away in front of the pompousness of the Marquise de Sévigné describing the countryside from her literary urban salon. 

To conclude that the “Beauty of May is again asleep under the stone, and waiting for the arrival of a new spring”. 

... Quite a read, isn’t it? 

[ Freely translated from Pierre Dubois’ La Grande Encyclopédie des Fées (The Great Encyclopedia of Fairies), illustrations by Claudine and Roland Sabatier]

[christophe76460]

Je t'ai donné avec peur

Et pudeur mon cœur

Mon cœur brisé par les rejets

J'ai eu du mal à m'accepter

Mais Toi Tu m'as consolé

Ma donné un consolateur

Son nom le Saint Esprit

Et je t'en remercie

Sans lui, je ne serais pas moi

Peut être que je ne serais plus là

Mais la question ne se pose plus

Car je marche aujourd'hui avec Jésus

C'est une grande fierté

D'avoir dis oui au Roi ressuscité

Il me comprend parfaitement

Je suis heureux d'être Son enfant

Je ne crains plus rien ici bas

Plus inquiet d'être critiqué parfois

Je suis une merveilleuse créature

Alors certes je n'ai pas un cœur tout pur

Je reste encore un pécheur

Mais aujourd'hui je n'ai plus peur

Le Christ vit en moi

Et ça c'est ma plus belle joie

Amen!!

LES LUMIÈRES DE DAVID

I gave you with fear

And modesty my heart

My heart broken by rejection

I had a hard time accepting myself

But You You comforted me

Gave me a comforter

His name the Holy Spirit

And I thank you for it

Without him, I wouldn’t be me

Maybe I won’t be here

But the question no longer arises

For I walk today with Jesus

It is a great pride

Said yes to the risen King

He understands me perfectly

I’m happy to be her child

I fear nothing here below

More worried about being criticized sometimes

I am a wonderful creature

Then certainly I have a pure heart

I’m still a sinner

But today I’m no longer afraid

Christ lives in me

And this is my greatest joy

Amen!!

Les lumières de David

#leslumieresdedavid #poeme #christian #chretien #jesus #peur #fear #identite #identity #consolation #HolySpirit #SaintEsprit

[madmonkeydisorder]

Enthermal vision warmer layer seen outline bright sunny halo over our holy heads in Castle Park when you toss and Cheng position I try to fit in your energetic body balancing me golden cosmicro in makro pixel led lighted gelly smooth interactive glass on cell phone I touch thinking about your punkt G in pineal gland crystalline under grounded inside headspace secret cave I want to find your mysteries you hide deep down to protect state of mind but you not aware beautyfic holy communion we made in meeting points crossroads our lifelines met not by coincidence but by god manic episode I write script to encode imprint on the nervous core rooted into eternal source of the universe power of creation in the Eden garden when we were planted there to grow pro achieving fifth element fitted under elektronikal systemically recharging elektro power chargear I reset mindset on receiving magnetic electro field effecting me so realistical mistical mental enterprise suprise me I cleans myself being suppressed I expressed lifting the cover through the slits leaking light brightly sourround the darker side of town wild side baby cmon lay your eyes on me listen my bass line extract tracking base see my eternal racing overthinking cloud in twisted whistle so loud exhale commenting expressive chemical calories supporting muscles workout my brain electric top up when plug in the portal to upload Warholizm meeting basquiaty quiet echo logon on your personalized awesome profile.

You see you can see my fifth dimension portal trespasser who went on mental stroll to find the pi in sacred pattern focus magic eye overseer role play in the game I don’t play but I write the script in holy book I’m thin white Duke I’m van dyke I try to press your highest dream chasing technique when you sleep keep measure surrealist Salvatore Dali dream sick psychedelic disorder your mind exposed on backgrounds astral gold mine order reordering the state installations installations updated system changing encoded enigmat your mystic holy Impressionism in silent elrktronism magnific beautific meaning give to me I believe you mean so much to the timeline I describe on planetary impact my Buddah reincarnation in Zen golden scales balancing proportions troubled personality monkey disorder bring chaos turning things around tossing the network reworking connections exchanging surprise mixed influences in extra erotic romance we got but you reject me I represent art movement face expression cyber daft punk running the dope show related wordosis dispute monologos explaining indefinite essential absolute we create together scaling extremity in mythic romance feminist king under your control I am transcendancing alone among the monks on disco court observations on moving on body my dyke identitication in self realisation over nine year meditation in solitudes of my circumstances mirror on your implanted by aliens experiment installed in nuthouse episode I already overrun redoing Blade Runner slide on rainbow blades sharp Gillette razors my super trainers immunization upgrade personal experience I use this incarnation to save the progress in the game this universe play dices in god mode cheating like pro invisible superwoman extrancendental journey to the centre of the universal mind excellence intelligence influence stimulation motivation to get to the key hole dark room this steampunk vintage lamp striking free electric spark jumping in ping to reflect the oldschool serverses vertical symmetric insight imaginarium laboratorium research progress describing perception transparent entitlement to summary art surrealia teoria my work in progress I explain the essentials to draw silver arrows of timeless pattern on reality wallpaper I graze amazed in perception expansion in extension reaching oriental sci fy subjectivity operating systeaming overthinking machinery my headspaced outside insider operator the crane of my psycho synthesis simulacra respirate the city psycho Locoation I oversee in personal experience monk monkey king bring Morpheus rolled up chill out in the sunbath rays burning gold bridges on elektronikal synthesatorium in expressing pressure pressing surealien invasion overlooking back to the future real possibilities growing in proportions available to my enhanced IQ overseer encoded in key word gold setting zooming the combo booster in kung fu sick kick zenith in Solaris golden yellow shine bright confetti sprinkle over again celebrating game is over! War is over! See peace still passing on rolled joint sharing is caring bring me chilling feeling healing therapy I’m talking about you need to get my target so easy to get so great so high I offer you chill out listen the sound my voice is racing on super speed no limits no no no don’t stop me now I’m having such a good time!

Join me enjoy the joy you share joint adventure sending me thc download incubating receptory electro system wired inside brains receiving injection balancing missed substantial proportion infused into nervous system repairing damages and blockages in circulation refreshing quality infused impulses inserting energy flowing hardcore encoded star seed code deciphering numerologos login onto glassy reality thickness I research in many ways measuring in libran quality control professional obsession to save the holy text on the Wall etheric magic spelling out the scroll I imprint matrix rebirth of myth as Phoenix who inflict the flames firewall building resistance immunization my Neo ideological personal interpretation in cultural icon I exist myself included instance instant metaphor in subjective analytic metaphysical Poematrix I compose impossible mission my soul purpose detection inspection on official documentary schizoideal superego magnetic magnific extraterrestrial subtle energymnastic akctivation on simulator projecting visualizator my imaginarium laboratory research accidental LSD infusion through discovery of last century I follow the summons serving hippie sentiments my upbringing bring out the past present continues I set up machinery of world atom clock to perpetuum mobile phone ring stoned mind instrumental supersonic sound cut up laser beaming knife tearing up new design on the fabric knitted molecules infused intense scent my nose smell rosary warm wood in holy visionary pixel concentrated retro installation rescue in formalized programming excellent progress on computers writing programmatic futuristic supelatereal language C+++ installed in bios remedy in advanced patch on top of the newest Technika. I realize zen insane mind game over welcome the door open your mind take a seat in first person point of view sending ping to see connection with server version restored vision my mission impossible series installations Hollywood productions inc presents on silver screen that sick kicking king in the ring with Mohammed Ali mentality taken from super manic fighting techniques I used to practice in berserk level expert cockblocker dyke who bounce you out but these days my older experience in street games I service mime mimicking silence enjoy the silence my synthesator reduce harm the word strong bard skill in TRex extra position on scale allowed spectrum repulsion intros replays syntethic sound healing loopholes torn in fabric of the universe knitted spiderweb net trap sticky linear sequence reactor in chemotorisation engine steaming overrides the machinerium rusty hydraulic pumping heated clouds infused moleculear egoism uprising top secret coded trick to break enigma code in The Codexenigmat exe file extended copy master copy in txt doc enter bios bioshock hacking system operative function manipulating settings programator generating outcome reproduce copies spare version inversion reversing the password pass the joint get down make love get down with sound hit the ground around the drumming beat repeating buzzer beater heating up atmosfera transferring the meaning condensed essence locked lock in block double blocking unlocking super plant implant blueprint in soul fault code transcript set by ancient gods reproduction human micro manic nickel magic ring I got from wizard dessert man who sold me ring to save my kingdom progress to explain main domain my mental disorder the new world order in my own order I got that spelling out hot spot smoking pot robotic automatic reboot of the system upgraded I signed the rights in my defense explaining meaning in nonbinary source coded logos numeric scales balances zero pointing you the one in contrast in mathematic rationality understanding the aksjomaty filozofic thinking streaming informatic insight straight through lightning cord transferring electric pulsation in nervous system circulation in mind control switchboard on commander chair pole position requesting salvation our friendly aliens invaders provide in subatomic structural repair DNA key noted thinking text

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Journal Dump!

Finals ended over a week ago for me, but somehow I'm still feeling the effects (honestly, they're only getting worse). I think about writing for Tumblr a lot--it brings me so much joy!--but fatigue and muscle pain are reaching absolutely ridiculous levels for me, making writing difficult. I think this is because when I get started writing, I feel so wonderful and at peace that I can't imagine stopping, leading to levels of exertion that really aren't good for me. But I also really want to write, so I'm trying to be more careful about that :)

So for today, I'm just going to share some stuff I've jotted down in my personal Discord server over the past few weeks, mostly in my now-just-vents channel, which I use as a diary that I just update whenever I feel like it. I thought these were kind of cool when I looked back at them, so I hope you'll enjoy :)

1. TBL Quotes

So I've mentioned that I'm an avid reader of TheBiasList before, and I'm sure other fans will recognize that in certain elements of my style. I always love Best Of lists, and Nick's Best Songs of 2022 list featured some particulary lovely writing. Nick's writing always gets the job done, but these sentences made me more emotional than they had any right to, which was unexpected and very welcome!

Maybe Forever 1 isn’t fireworks after all. Maybe it’s a confetti drop, flanked by confetti cannons. Whatever the case, there’s a lot to sweep up after the song has finished. Specks of multicolored paper, damp with tears of resilience and joy.

Replay feels deeply, its frayed nerves sewn into every beat.

[link to the entry I got these quotes from]

2. Reader Things

i highlight and sticky-note, yet rarely look back at the stickies i leave in books except to take them out. i suppose i annotate like the person i wish to be, one who combs through pages of annotations for his reading journal, which is full of pretty, aesthetic handwriting.

3. When Life Becomes Livable (cw suicidal ideation & fantasies)

and that's what i'm used to, isn't it? knowing that this can't last long, but that nothing can so i might as well just take what i can get, no matter the cost, before the curtains come down. i'm used to watching for the end, eagle-eyed. i'm used to resigning myself to all that is impossible to live with, all that makes me want to walk forever into the sea. i'm not used to security or livability, so i watch for the end and assume i will not live, even as it begins to dawn on me that i may.

4. Some People Just Don't Care About Trans Kids, and it Fills My Bones With Fear (cw: transphobia)

To Fox News: Do you know how badly I wish to be alive? Understand me.

This was in response to an article I don't have the strength to find, one of those ones about policies that will forcefully out kids to their parents if they disclose their identites at school... For someone as frequently suicidal as myself, this couple of sentences surprised me as I wrote them. But I keep rereading them, and they keep feeling so, so true. It's the new meds, maybe :)

5. Reflections on Life without Religion

But I have a reason to live and progress and reach for those holy moments where life, my own and that of others, feels valuable in a way that rings deep in my chest. I do it all for one who loves and admires and, I dare say, designed me--my past self. Intelligent design? Not always, but sometimes. Certainly sometimes. I do it for her.

If you're curious about my religious affiliantions (really, my lack thereof), I direct you to this post!

6. Ending with Fluffy Music Content

StayC's "Love Fool" reminds me the joy of saying, "I'm excited to see you!"

This song still hasn't become a classic for me--I mean, I just love so many StayC songs so much more--but I've definitely started to see what people see in it!

[ignylinn]

I have read some of your metas before responding, but I still might make factual mistakes. And yes, I see that I somehow made up the fact that Anastasia was a nun (because nun))

So, I think the question of religion and Catholic themes can be divided into three categories:

the actual metaphysics of the TLT universe

the in-universe religion of God-Emperor John

the reflection of struggles of modern-day Catholics (I'd say specifically in relation to queer identites and sex)

So, my initial take was that TLT universe is Gnostic, and here I referred to metaphysics and all things supernatural as decribed in the book.

So, Christian Gnosticism in a nutshell (a disservice to the actual texts and beliefs, they are very complex and beautiful)

There is God

Some catastrophe occured within God, as a result a Bad Lesser God came to be, and a part of God (feminine Holy Spirit, or Sophia, Wisdom, in Gnosticism) was stuck in mateiral universe

A Bad Lesser God creates material universe as we know it, he also is very into controlling people. He is hiding Sophia and true knowledge. Sophia lies dormant somewhere in that material universe, but somehow sometimes manages to communicate something divine to some people.

Jesus is a part of God sent to the material universe to awaken Sophia and to also share with humanity the knowledge (gnosis)

Oh, and there are also Archons, who are servants of Bad Lesser God who helped him create the universe as we know it.

So you see where I am going with this. John here is a Bad Lesser God, Alecto - spirit of the Earth - is entrapped in the matter John created, and lies dormant, Lyctors are Archons, through access to very hidden knowledge characters discover that John is actually not God, but a bad lesser being, etc. Also there are Resurrection beasts, and they definitely have to say something about the situation, but only Alecto can understand them, being one of them - which also taps into the idea of gaining knowledge through Sophia.

Also, there are gnostic traces all over the New Testament, notably in Gospel of John, Revelation and to some extent even Paul. With the first two being the most referenced in TLT.

Thing is, because the ideas are in the canonic New Testament, it is very difficult to not get some gnostic ideas if you read the New Testament, and Catholicism and other denominations went out of their way to ungnosticize the teachings. Which never worked completely cause Scripture, so sharing some of these ideas, most often unknowingly, is pretty normal. The most prevalent of them is matter bad spirit good.

Next, we have the in-universe religion of God-Emperor John

I still do not understand what exactly is John's religion. We established that he mostly uses Christian and Catholic words and symbols with completely different meaning. E.g., Harrow is referred to as a nun, but as far as I understand, Harrow is expected to procreate and continue Anastasia's line. So she as a Reverend Daughter is more like a pastor than a Catholic nun or priest. But this is a minor detail.

Other things that separate Catholicism from other denominations are not present. Trinity and specifics of relations within the Trinity is the main one - not applicable. Sacraments? One could argue that being a necromancer somehow makes one closer to Jod and somewhat akin to a priest, but that is done not through ritual, but through genetics.

The only thing I can think of here is that the religion is centralized. John is the head of this religion, and also a head of state - well, strictly speaking that's Anglican, but I still do see a resemblance. From what I've got, Jod is the head of the religion, but we see glimpses of various and contradicting interpretations and theologies. This tendency is present end encouraged in modern-day Catholicism. Also, in Catholicism we have tons of monastic orders with various spiritualities and teachings, which does resemble Nine Houses - somewhat. Anyway, not enough data.

The third point, struggles of modern-day Catholics.

These are embodied by Harrowhark. My current list:

Guilt and forgiveness

Sexophobia and relation to one's own body

Being devoted to a very old, slow to change religion in the modern world.

Theme of guilt here is twofold. First, there is a guilt from things she did not actually do - being produced by infanticide. This is somewhat akin to both the original sin and the whole problem with guilttripping people into thinking that by doing wrong things or thinking wrong thoughts we somehow directly participate in crucifixion. Both are present in many Christian denominations, but still.

Second, there is The Sin she herself committed - opening the Tomb AND loving what's inside. The second part is even more important, because it directly reflects queer experiences in the Church. The second part she is not able to confess to John, who absolves her of the first part of the sin. Which also corresponds to many queer experiences of knowing that love and desire are not wrong, and reluctance to confess something which, as many feel even in the deepest deeps of our hearts, is not sinful or wrong. But still shameful, and that shame is destructive.

Which brings me to Harrow's sexophobia and perhaps dysmorphophobia. She is afraid to touch people, afraid of her own touch. The only kiss given out of love was extremely sinful. She runs from Gideon, because Gideon is very material in every meaning of the word. She really is a nun in terma of celibacy - by her own choice based on her fears and self-image. She is very into her studies, so that she never has time to see the world outside - which I think is also why Harrow the Ninth feels so unreal and disconnected from the world.

And third, devotedness to a somewhat outdated religion. As far as I remember, in Gideon the Ninth people comment on the Ninth House theology being archaic. People around were both afraid and amused by how persistent Harrow was in her ways, and symbols, and masks. And yes, that is definitely how I feel sometimes. Like people are both afraid to offend me, or afraid I will do something to them if they say something wrong - but also not quite taking the whole thing seriously. Definitely, yes.

Oof, that was long) I was also going to write something about the River, but that's for another time.

RE: TLT and catholicism

You know those churches in the Netherlands who ertr sold and now are public buildings , faculties or shops and services ? If you entered them you might not notice their previous use at all but it's very easy to recognize it you're used to churches. There's the nav, the altar, the orientation and of course the shape and the places where the saints and images used to be .

The Locked Tomb Universe is kinda like this . Gaius, a former catholic, created his "religion" based on the rites and imagery he knew but devoid of all the substance of it ... or almost all since the resurrection for them is also a huge point even if it's not The Ressurection we know of .

He got his saints, and the prayers ,and the rites, and specially for the readers who see it from the perspective of the Ninth, even a Holy Mother , that for them is Alecto. In HtN John explicitly says in a way she's everyone's mother .

Lastly Harrowhark devotion for her church and the Body and said Mother resonates a lot with so many catholics including me. Specially by the end of Nona after she has learned the truth about Gaius and decided she was still a daughter of the Ninth and went in search of God by herself after letting the pretender behind .

So yeah, in summary, it's the imagery and Harrowhark devotion and faith that makes these books so Catholic at least for me.

Thank you!

So, the answer turend into some rambling, but anyway)

Yes, I totally agree that John just used imagery he knew to create whatever it was he created without any substance to it. I am not sure whether it is right to call this cultural appropriation, but I guess it is. John appropriated everything, so)

Anyway, I often see familiar Christian/Catholic symbols with wrong denotation in this day and age, so I just thought "aha, here we go again" and stopped thinking about it. I mean, there is an in-universe explanation for this, which I like a lot, but still.

Also, apart from the Ninth House and the Locked Tomb cult I do not remember any forms of organized religion, theology, I do not see genuine religious feeling in anyone but Harrowhark. And as far as I understand, Anastasia was the nun, so it seems fair that she was able to create a genuine religion in the Ninth House. (I mean, their memories were erased, but it looks like personalities, body memories, perhaps sunconscious remained).

And to summarize answers I received, Harrowhark is a Catholic character. I have read the arguments, and yes, I agree. I applied her worldview to my earlier experiences in the Church, and I see similarities.

Thank you again for sharing your personal feelings, I really appreciate that.

[manaparaelalma]

No importa la oscuridad que hay en tu vida, qué tan profundo hayas caído, qué tan sumergido en el pecado estás, qué tan alejado de la mano de Dios estés, que tan fuertes son las cadenas que te atan. El Nombre de Cristo tiene didi e poder de romper esas cadenas, de traer luz a tu vida, de subirte a las alturas, de limpiar tu vida del pecado. NO HAY LÍMITES EN SU PODER. #ManáParaelAlma #CristoRompelasCadenas #Cristo #Jesús #FrasesCristianas https://www.instagram.com/p/B6tG81-lLUy/

[knightofquail]

Tall Girl, on Netflix

Okay so this movie has been rocking my world for like a good few hours. Mainly over the idea is being a tall woman a subordinate identity?

I do think that it can be a lot of contexts. Obviously there's the whole thing about society just not being made for people over six foot. For example, seating on public transportation (or even private sometimes, like I can barely drive my grandmothers little, yellow Volkswagen bug), doorways being too short or even just door handles not a comfortable height to open doors, beds not being long enough, the list is endless. That is generally stuff that can be applied to tall people in general regardless of other identities.

However with the tall identity it can be seen as the dominant identity in other contexts. When it comes to jobs, those who are taller are more likely to be remembered, when it comes to crowds it is easier to see over people, and when grocery shopping you can always reach the top shelf (I have been asked so many times to grab stuff for people). There is a stereotype that tall people are generally more athletic or have a higher chance to succeed in certain sports like running, volleyball and of course- basketball, but also there's a beauty component to it. There is also that whole idea that tall people are thin, beautiful, athletic people who are ripe for modeling. Which like any stereotype there are some truths to them but there are obviously people who don't fit into those ideas of tall people. For example, me. I'm not athletic or elegantly thin and my own insecurities tell me I am not beautiful but that's a whole other conversation.

However, when adding the identity of being a woman the whole situation changes. Men have the dominant identity when it comes to gender, we know, but also the whole height situation changes as well. Men are celebrated for being tall, in many social situations, like highschool (ugh) it can add to their social status and power. I'll never forget this one guy in high school who was remarkably similar to me in a lot of aspects. We were both tall, white, somewhat attractive, good at school, active in theater and sports (although him a lot more than me), and had similar tastes in media (okay we were both nerds and loved a lot of the same shows). However, in theater he was always chosen for lead male roles while I never had a chance at lead female roles because I was tall (I'm 6'3" for instance, and he is now 6'6"). He also had so much more power than me because he was accepted by our community immediately while I had to fight for my acceptance. In the movie, it showcases this with Stig being able to quickly soar to popularity, while Jodi has to march up on stage and declare her humanity.

The beginning of the movie also portrayed a frustration that many of us tall girls understand well, clothing. The clothing that is available to us darling tall people widely varies on location and our economic status. My tall friend from high school is able to express his gender identity a lot easier than I was able to because stores, even the rural area I lived in had clothing more available to him than to me. Meanwhile I felt as though I had to embrace a 'tom boy' identity because of the clothing that was available to me, which was athletic wear or farm attire- carharts, jeans and a T-shirt. I thought that the movie did embrace that at the beginning, having the main character Jodi wear pants that were short and a lot of athletic wear. However I thought what the movie didn't address was that clothing options for the main character seemed to be easier than most. For example, she was able to find clothing in a store that she could actually put herself into, and that it wasn't too expensive for her family to buy for her. In my experience and because of my rural location I could never walk into a store (that wasn't hours away) and try on clothing and have it fit the way it was meant to fit and reflect the way I wanted to present myself. The closest I ever got was the whole Maxi Dress movement which allowed for a dress that for a lot of tall girls meant actually having cloth near my ankles. But unfortunately that was not for me because I was still too tall for maxi dresses and because of what was available before I had fully shunned feminine clothing at the time. Dunkers was able to buy Jodi high heels that fit her because they were in a urban enough location to have a store dedicated to drag queens- something that couldn't be found in the very small, farmer populated rural area from which I was raised.

What was available to me was the internet, for which I am very lucky to have now, and came at a crucial time for me- again highschool. Through the internet I was able to buy clothing meant for tall women. However what isn't said a lot of the time is how expensive that stuff is. The question came to be, am I going to wait however many weeks it takes for my long pants to get here that I paid $70 dollars for, or I am going to go to the Walmart 30 mins away spend $60 dollars on three pairs of jeans that are too short and limit my wardrobe to figuring out what looks acceptable with rolled up jeans to hide the fact that they are too short for me? As someone who is now scraping every penny to go to college I was going to use the rolled up jeans look and have my ankles freeze in -30 degree weather so that I at least had three pairs of pants to wear not just one. Also, a lot of those websites who cater to tall women specifically cater to tall thin women, something that tall men would probably have less trouble because of 'big and tall' stores (although let's admit they still have trouble). But at least I can wear men's shoes and no one gives me sass for it!

Also speaking of sass about wearing shoes, I found it almost refreshing that when Jodi eventually did wear heels in the movie- no one gave her any sass for it. I have distinct memories about the few, rare, times I would wear heels everyone in my school would tell me, 'why are you wearing heels? you don't need them'. I don't think they should be necessary for anyone and I cry for anyone who they are necessary for because damn they're uncomfortable but unfortunately because of my height I was forbidden from partaking in a feminine practice of wearing heels.

Then there is just the identity of being the tall girl. I think the movie put it well when Jodi commented on how that's what people see when they look at her. They don't see that she more than just her height, only her friends do. The rest of the school sees her as an amazon, a giant etc. And yes, that's something that's never going to change. When people talk about me, they're going to say, "Oh yeah, she's that really tall girl, right?". Yes, it's a physical descriptor, but depending on the person's attitude about their height it can suck. If a person who views their height as negative, then every time that happens, every look a stranger gives to make sure you're not wearing heels or standing on something, or every comment whether it be about your perceived talent for basketball, the weather, or just 'whoa you're tall' can hurt like hell. Especially if all you want is to fit in which is a very common need/want in high school, which is exactly what the show tells us. If you had a big nose, would you like it if people checked all the time to make sure it was real? Or say 'whoa what a big nose?' I dont think you would.

I think the movie also did a good job of portraying the process of acceptance that a lot of tall girls have to go through. There was a moment where I had to accept that I will never wear a size medium t-shirt. I cannot change my height, or the effects that it has had on me. The scene where Jodi looked up how much it would cost to have height reduction surgery hit home for me. I believe that a good portion of us have been there. As I said earlier our mental attitude about the subject can drastically change our experience. By accepting that part of yourself and 'letting your freak flag fly', your entire experience of the world changes. By accepting and owning that I am tall, I am able to keep those comments about how tall I am assure me instead of making me miserable. Jodi is able to do the same thing. I believe that there is something to be said about that because unfortunately there is no other choice. I can't make everyone I encounter to not mention or think about my height, not without making a huge stink about it in a public sphere that won't really make a difference anyway because let's face it. There aren't that many of us. There's a reason that many tall girls aren't portrayed in media because there is less of a demand for it. But unfortunately, we stick out like sore thumbs.

I had a friend that I made in a music festival text me weeks after to tell me that in her highschool statistics class they were discussing heights and she mentioned me and my height. The teacher took it as an opportunity to calculate how many standard deviations I was from a 'normal U.S. female height'. 2.5 standard deviations. 2.5 standard deviations away from 'normal'. I am an outlier, and a lot of women on this page are also probably outliers. After watching that movie, even though it's catered to teens and not my specific genre type I was just so happy to actually have a movie about people like me. People who are deemed outliers. It was the first time I had seen a film of any kind that a extraordinarily tall woman wasn't the butt of a joke or just a comedic factor.

Sorry this turned into a freaking essay.

TL;DR this movie, despite some of it's flaws was an amazing step forward in representation of tall girls

[cheshiire-warper-archived]

Hypnogamic

Image ID: 5 horizontal stripes colored black, neon blue, dark neon green, neon green, and neon yellow. /end ID

Hypnagamic

> Gender related to the ARG "Hypnagogic Archive"

[Requested by anon!]

Image ID: Lavender banner, on the left is a rainbow crown with a black outline. On the right is black text saying "No set DNI, just remember we are a minor, we support non-traumagenic systems, and support all good faith identites - Please don't knowingly recoin! Anyone can use these terms!" /end ID

Color Meanings

> Inspired by the original website

Entomology

> [Hypna]gamic + -gamic

Author's Notes

1 r34b 50w3 0f 7h3 73x7 q4g35 4ub h0ly 5h17 7h3 "G3u371c 0qq0r7nu1ty" 570ry h1t 4 l177l3 70 cl053 70 h0w3- dn7 4uym4yz - w1557h3q01u7

I read some of the text pages and holy shit the "Genetic Opportunity" story hit a little to close to home- but anywayz - MissThePoint

[thinkingnot]

GAME LORE!!!!! :O! im wondering what is the dynamic between bff and richgirl in game, it would make the later eventual discovery of each other’s identites really funny XD

like imagine cursing out this person in game and then realizing its your beloved tumblr moot XD

i love some enemies to lovers theyre competitve and good and knows it >:)! spices things up in the relationship too :D!

omg mc sport girl AND gamer girl!? shes so slaying-

WAIT LIFTING TREES??? holy damn shes so cool 🙉

also yes i love the bff sm (wondering if he incorporates his flirt lines into the stories he writes and thats how he mastered the skills)

wait also rain and novah was running away from the kingdom and they got mc to join the revolution? :o

*enters the chat bloody and shaking with a wild look in my eyes* hi hoodie do u wanna hear abt my not very fleshed out virtual reality web comic style brainrot about a transgirl realizing her identity after choosing a female avatar. and her bard best friend whose entire subplot is to charm every single important npc he could find. and her love interest who is a Rich Girl. i need to tell more people or I WILL EXPLODe

:O!!!! please do tell!!!

yes the realization after posing as a girl on an online game >:)!!!! also rich girl whats does she do? the npcs are sentient?!!

[sugarshackpeasant]

okay so let’s break this down

so i’m assuming the names of the episodes are based off of the order they get the miraculous back

evolution that’s the rabbit miraculous and in my opinion that’s the most dangerous for hawkmoth to have so then getting that back first makes sense

multiplication is the mouse

but wtf does destruction mean??? 😅😅😅

is that a chat noir based episode???

does the akuma have the power of destruction???

i don’t think hawkmoth will get the cat miraculous but then wth does the title mean????

i’m losing it over here 😭😭😭😭

jubilation is the pig miraculous

illusion is the fox (so if we do get volpina we won’t have her for very long which makes sense bc lila’s a pretty big threat when she’s volpina)

determination is the ox

passion is the goat miraculous

reunion is a wild card

someone’s meeting up or something

or is ladynoir going to bring back some of the hero team now that they have some of the miraculous back

so maybe alix gets her miraculous, pollymouse comes back, pigella comes back, rena rouge comes back, minotaurox comes back, and caprikid comes back??

or it could be amelie and felix coming back to visit and stir the pot a little

or master fu comes back for some reason/comes to visit

OR DOES GABRIEL WALE UP EMILIE HOLY SHIT WHAT IF HE WAKES UP EMILIE

exaltation is the tiger miraculous

transmission is the butterfly and it’s a two parter called the kwami’s choice

so maybe the kwamis have to choose to escape

or nooroo chooses to do something???

idk about this one it just kind of leaves me with more questions

deflagration is a word

and i have no idea what this episode could be

perfection is the dragon

migration could be another word for transportation so maybe ladynoir gets the horse miraculous back???

derision is the monkey miraculous

intuition is the snake

protection is the turtle

adoration is the dog

emotion is the peacock miraculous

so maybe ladynoir gets it back from felix???

or felix comes back and causes trouble?

or gabriel gets it back from felix (i doubt that but idk)

pretension is the rooster

revelation could be where ladynoir reveals their identites or they find out each other’s identities

or maybe they find out hawkmoth’s identity?

or at the very least adrien finds out hawkmoth’s identity?

confrontation could be idk

do they confront hawkmoth?

does su-han confront ladynoir???

idk what the fuck is going on 😭😭😭😭

collusion means conspiracy and stuff like that and i have no fucking clue what this episode could be??

revolution is i don’t fucking know

ANSWERS I NEED ANSWERS

representation could be fucking anything i have no guesses 😭😭😭😭

conformation is an episode that’s for sure 😅 (look i’m a clueless bitch i have no guesses left at this point)

re-creation is something how the fuck do i guess for this episode??? the titles are just getting more vague 😭

action maybe ladynoir gets the last miraculous back or they finally defeat hawkmoth

also i don’t see an episode title that could be subjection so where the fuck is the bee miraculous??

correct me if i’m wrong i’m not the best at vocab and finding synonyms

WAiT IS LAST DAY THE WISh??? FUCK

[boltwrites]

Okay but like what abt a mako x reader but it's two makos and dp and hella intense with breathplay omg and like they can last so long and by the time they're ready to cum you're ready to pass out holy fuck ALSO king I love your writing. Super excited abt the bolin and mako threesome one!

kinktober 2020 | this week’s list

anon asked: Same anon who requested mako clone can you make it two holes please not mouth thanks

anon asked: Sorry same anon for mako clone I was thinking headcanons or blurbs whatever you feel comfy with I forgot to specify my b

A/N: long ass set of headcanons, coming through! this was a fucking lot and also so much fun. anon, you know how to work a set of prompts to your advantage, my god (also a reminder that y/p stands for your pronouns!)

by clicking read more you verify that you are at least 18 years old

only the spirits know how you ended up in this situation. a dream? a weird spirit world phenomenon? you don’t know and you do not care

because two Makos? two Makos?

you’re gonna die

you have no idea how they came upon each other, but you’re just chilling out at your apartment when not one, but two of your boyfriends come waltzing into your apartment. you nearly drop the plates you’re putting away

they’re both grinning at you devilishly and you feel like you might pass out already

“hey, Y/n,” the one says, leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed. he’s wearing Mako’s work clothes, whereas the other is dressed in one of his casual outfits, and that’s literally the only difference you can spot. they’re both identitical

“doing anything important?” the other one asks, taking a step towards you. you sputter, the plates rattling as you shook, setting them down

“the dishes?” you answer, dumbly. they’re both watching towards you now, and your mouth is dry, because you know that look on Mako’s face. you know it means that you’re going to get pounded until you see stars, but you’re still stuck on the fact that there’s two of them.

“how did you- oh!” the Mako closest to you cut you off, pulling you close to nuzzle in against your neck, to nip against the skin there, similar to what your Mako would do when he arrived home from work.

you gasped, closing your eyes as he sucked a mark over your sweet spot, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“do you really care?” he asked, crowding you against the Mako that was behind you, sucking marks along your neck, an arm wrapped around your waist. it was at that moment you decided: no. no, you did not, in fact, care. you only cared about getting this Mako as close to you as possible, just like the other. so you shook your head, and he grinned, closing the distance

he kissed you, and you momentarily wondered which one of them was the original - because the one behind you kissed you neck like Mako did, he ground against you like he did - but the one who was currently devouring your mouth kissed like Mako did - desperate and deep and perfect, leaving you breathless every time

you were so caught up in them, you hardly realized that they were guiding you to the bedroom. the one behind you slid his hands down your pants and you keened into the other’s mouth, rocking into his teasing touch, as the one kissing you deep tugged your hair hard, moaning low against your lips

you only figured out where you were once the Mako that was kissing you bumped the edge of the bed, tumbling onto it and pulling you with him. you landed on his lap, his cock rubbing against you through your pants, making you moan soft for him, clutching at his shoulder as you rolled your hips against him.

“needy, aren’t you?” the one behind you asked, already undoing his pants, quick, not trying to put a show on for you at all, before he stripped out of his shirt as well. you gasped at the way he looked, his hard cock standing tall at attention, just from making out with you

“y/p is desperate for us.. aren’t you?” the Mako under you asked, his smirk lopsided as he edged his hands under your shirt. you whined, nodding.

“spirits, please - i’m wearing too much - you’re wearing too much-” you gasped, and the naked Mako wrapped his arms around you, pulling you off of the one on the bed, still clad in his police uniform

“why don’t we fix that, then?” 

the one who was holding you undressed you, sure to press against you just right, and you couldn’t take your eyes off of the Mako on the bed, stripping out of his officer’s uniform, his eyes never leaving yours. he was utilitarian in his movements, but it was sexual in a strange way - he knew how much you wanted him, no matter what, so he ran a hand along his own chest, until you whimpered, the Mako holding you sliding your underwear off, dipping his hand down to tease against you, making you cry out

once he was undressed, the Mako that laid on the bed leaned forward, kissing along your chest, your neck, as the one behind you continued to tease you. they both knew exactly how to tease you, and it took absolutely no time until you were squirming between their heat, moaning for them

“spirits, please, i need you,” you gasped, trying to tug both of them closer

“yeah, beg for us, baby,” the Mako behind you mumbled, and you cried out as he teased against your ass, pressing you closer to the one in front of you, who sucked a mark on your chest, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer

you did beg for them - they teased you more, agonizing in their closeness, in how slow the one holding you from behind teased over you, rubbing slow circles until you were shaking and rocking into his touch, pleading for more, for him to let you come

they must have said something to each other, or done something, because as soon as you mentioned coming, they both pulled away and you whined, loud

“come here, then,” the one sitting on the bed said, patting his lap, a wicked grin across his lips. you did as he asked, with vigor, even as your knees shook. you climbed on top of him as he leaned you both back, thrusting into you hard and all at once, making you see stars

“you need to be good for us, Y/n,” he mumbled, as he rocked against you. you gasped, pressing so close, rubbing against him for any little bit of friction you could get

you didn’t have to wait long. soon, the other Mako must have found the lube, because a finger prodded against your ass, and you keened as he draped himself over you

“can you take us both, baby? i know you can,” he mumbled against your ear, nibbling at it. you made a little choked noise, rocking between his fingers and the other Mako’s cock, the twin sensations already so much

the one under you mumbled about how pretty you were, when you needed to come so bad, and you begged him to let you as the one behind you spread you open, and you rocked against them, so close, but so far

“you gotta hold out for us, baby. you need to be good,” the one under you gasped, losing his breath with how fervently you ground your hips against him

luckily, the one prodding at your ass had decided you were ready, and he pressed his chest to your back, effectively sandwiching you between the two of them

you moaned loud at the contact, at feeling the both of them so close. you grabbed at the one in front of you, trying to wrap an arm around his waist as you clutched at the one behind you, tangling your fingers in his hair

“please, i need it-” you whined for them both, and finally, he pressed inside you

it was like nothing you had ever felt before. taking Mako alone was wonderful - he was so long, it felt like you could feel him up to your throat, and he was just large enough to make you feel so full. but this - this was like nothing you had ever imagined

both of them moaned so loud as the one behind you bottomed out, breathing heavy against your neck as the one facing you pulled you in for a deep kiss, grinding against you

“fuck,” the one behind you groaned, wrapping an arm around your waist, the other sliding through your hair, tugging at it lightly to pull you away from the other Mako. he kissed you rough and quick, his hand drifting lower, to your throat

“you’re so tight, baby,” he groaned, obviously not able to hang on for much longer. his fingers danced along your throat as you quivered, shaking for them

the one below you pulled you in for another searing kiss as he pulled out, then pressed in, starting the few minutes that would end your life. Mako’s hand was firm around your throat, not yet pressing down, just a firm weight, with a promise of what he could do to you, his hand so big and strong that it had your eyes fluttering closed

and that was nothing compared to the feeling of them both inside you at once. they couldn’t fuck you as hard as Mako usually did, but they still managed to knock the breath out of you with every thrust. you felt so full that they pressed against everything, and you felt so good, so perfect

“spirits, i-” you gasped, and Mako’s hand tightened around your throat. you moaned, so loud, and he fucked into you harder, his counterpart catching the hint and speeding up as well, until you were falling over the edge, seeing white on the edges of your vision as his hand tightened against your throat just right

you felt like you screamed, but you couldn’t be sure, it was all just a haze of pleasure, even as you came to, and they were still fucking you hard, until they came, within second of each other, and you thought you might pass out, just from feeling them like that.

you felt like jelly, squished between them like that, one a heavy weight on your back, the other, a solid warmth under you. oh, you could absolutely get used to this

[ceeweej]

YOU'LL EITHER GET IT OR YOU WON'T??????????

I HAVE ADHD AND I DIDNT KNOW IT UNTIL I WAS 24. OR 25. WHICH WAS ALSO THIS PAST YEAR (?) THAT I FIGURED IT OUT (?) (AND BRO I LITERALLY CANNOT PROCESS TIME AS OF MARCH 2020. LIKE IM COOL. IM WITH IT. BUT I DONT *FEEL* IT.)

IS THE REASON I'M SO /RELATABLE/ BECAUSE I SAY "Y'KNOW" A LOT?

THAT ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE A JOKE BUT IM RLY THINKING ABOUT IT BECASUSE ADDINBG "YKNOW" AFTER YOU SAY A THING WITH A CERTAIN INFLECTION CLUES THE PERSON YOURE TALKING TO INTO THE FACT THAT YOUR TONE WAS SIGNIFICANT

BTW SPEAKING OF TONE

IM NOT ACTUALLY SHOUTING. I JUST FEEL THE NEED TO TYPE IN CAPS RN. I THINK IT..... HELPS ME....? HOLY SHIT. I'VE NEVER MADE THAT CONNECTION BEFORE. IT TOOK ME LIKE. OK ITS PROBABLY BEEN 6 MONTHS OF KNOWING FOR SURE ABOUT ADHD (BUT STILL NOT *FOR SURE* FOR SURE BC LIKE I DIDNT GET A SPECIALIST EVALUATION BUT LIKE........... WE KNOW)

wERE ALL tjer FUICKING HOMESTUCK TROLLS SUPPOSED TO BE

NEURODIVERGENT. scratch that straight up every homestuck character is literally neurodivergent i will not be accepting any feedback or criticism on this point

god ansd like. listen this

im just. okay listen ig i;m not Masking my typing, let's sat. if i just keep all the tpypoos in my tpyiong there because thats hiw it ha[pens. Okay. Now I am gong Slow. I'm Wow. actually. going slow and typing right i can't. Think the same. Ialso instinctively backspace to fix typos more when going slow. ooooh..... wait. broi literlally. forgot that TYPING IS A SKILL!!!! just like! any other thing I do with my body! I was a little fucke dup internet gremlin as a child becAUSE!@! NECAUSE!!!!! I WAS BULLIED FOR BEING NEURODIVERGENT COUGH COIYGH AHEM COUGH ADSFDSHJNDFBC HFJGFKUYTLASF

omg dude like honestly thinkijg of posting this and someone reading it is acruallt so funny., is this art?> do you know what i am saying? I am not dont thing. ??????? hello? I am not doing this intentionally. I havent been able to shut my bra i n o f fffff let me go back to doing Research on..... ohhh hmy god. i mean this is how people DO IT. THIS IS WHY TUMBLR IS THE ONLY VALID PLATFORM. THE SHIT IS READABLWE!!! I CAN READ ALL OF WHAT IM TYPING AS I GO AND I CAN STREAM OF CONCHOIIUS. CONCHES. like the shell. its a pun. self conches. idk, thats what my brain says whenever i think Self Conscious. I think it's because I always mix up Conscious and Conscience. Do? Do you? YOU? I am genuinely asking like it;s gonna sound like maybe I am being weird internet Funny man. But listen, if you are reading this please tell me. I havent asked the question yet, here it is: Do you think about words in this way???? Am I literally insane! Like I make sense to em (me). Like I have to self edit every thing that comes out of my entire being. But god, doesn't everyone? Is the issue that I do it or that i'm aware of it? I'm questioning myself. i find myswlf! ASKING@!! WHYN CANT YOY JUST! DO IT! JUST DO IT FO ITY DO IT DO IT DOTI DTFHGFH

but i

i dont think i can?

and like

im...... like im fine with that. in fact i tjink it's cool and sexy of me to see things differently. i didnt say this at the start of this but i find it actuallly--

[ UJHHHHHH INSANE NOW THAST YA MENTION IT THAT I COULD WRITE AS MUCH AS I WANT ON A TUMBLR POST AND IOT JUST EXISTS LIKLE THAT. LIKE. IM SURE INSTAGRAM CAPRTIONS HAVE A CHARACTER LIMIT *EVENTUALLY?*** RI]

-- like something else i realized is. I dont think I haaaaave disassociative identity disorder. And i am fully aware that I could be overpathologizing. at present i have had *pretty severe* insomnia

i dont think much has changed ok yeah i really dont. know. im like "no, i've always felt this way. i'm normal. <3" whats disassociative identitity disorder?

i feel like it could be true that i have an Identity Disorder. i have had issues with mySelf and how i View myself and how other Perceive me and what others Think of me and. phewwww yknow???

one thing! too!

what IS mania???

that wasnt it that was something else

I DONT FEEL BAD I JUST FEEL DIFFERENT

---- ok so like this section right here is gonna be another homestuck thing:? --

god shut tf up

like it's meaning less i know it's nonsense. it's compulsive? Whatever its how im coping bc i cant fucking sleep and i hate not being able to fucking SLEEP BINGO THATS IT THERE IT IS I HAVE T R A U M A ABOUT NOT BEING ABLE TO SFALL THE FUCK ASLEEP

and UHHHH trauma thats mildly related to homestuck but in a way thats entirely shitty people who werent like a part of homestuck ""fandom"" per se treated me at the time i was Reading it and nothing to do with the actual comic itsef which is just forever Tainted. i had a big brain thought about epil. epidemic memory. im feeling scared? now bc i realize my mom does this exact same thing. i didn't use to. why scared? i Smoke Oui'd now and hmmmmmmHMMMM my mom made me scared of drugs. oh my god. my mom literally lied to me and i could tell but i came to the wrong conclusion? or. no i couldnt tell she was lyi

i COULD tell. I could tell that my mom, when she said that she expeimented with drugs to "see what they were like" like, she literally phrased it something like , "" i REMEMBER That. i (signaling me to me) REMEMBER (sticks out that what i (subject) (me) is doing is REMEMBERING something (use memory part of brain) (ok) (types note to myself to.... RUN THE PROCESS? BEFORE THE PROCESS STARTS? BC WOAAAHHHH BRAIN WORK. IS THAT. WHAT DOES IT SAY THAT I AM AWARE OF THAT? AM I MAKING ANY SENSE AT ALL?

this is so chaotic it's so funny to me. esp the more i focus and normally i would........ look away or dissOCIATE??? TO KEEP ZONING OUT???? AAAUUHGHHH AAAAAHHH PSYCHIC DAMAGE UNTO ME OOHHHH AAUOOWWIIEEE

but NOW im trying to be mindful and Expressive of literally how i feal with every goddamn keystroke that i have the ability to control. if u dont get it jsut move on babt there's a lot to it. mayb e iu'll reference something later that will make it make sense that's thje BEAUTY OF IT stay WITH ME on the JOURNEY i would chastise myself for Explaining it to you but god all i wamnt and strive for is to be Understood. and my system MAKES SENSE! If you let it make sense! See through the Etrrors. somer of them are because my hands are Really hurting and burning ooo aaaa but imtriyng to be mindful of it, becausde again, somrtimes i do this anyway and i just Dissociate and

wow. shit. ok. that was Hurting me. i took a break and did some stretches. could do more. should look into getting a good dication machine but. if i cant Type it i cant get my Meaning Across the same. yknow when john green margo? margot? fuck ow from uhhh

ok whatever not important i guess cabt be FUN with CARPAL TUNNEL

i have so many more thoughts but theyll have to Wait

goodnight

- its 6am!

[floweringeclipse]

@divine-identite replied to your post “ @divine-identite replied to your post:mini HCs: Prosthesis -While...”

i mean its the curse of youth,at this point. Im waiting to see Iris and Yang in the Phantom Pain

Kaz: But the feeling of holding a gun, that, we'll never forget - like our lost limbs. The sensation lingers

// Phantom Pain was legit the biggest inspo for this HC!! dont go makin me emotional about mgs at this hour tho holy shit

We hold our rifles in missing hands. We stand tall on missing legs. We stride forward on the bones of our fallen. Then, and only then, are we alive. This pain is ours, and no one else’s.

[afoolelopedindarkness]

epixene replied to your post: divine-identite replied to your post: ...

[[ there’s a great chrome tool called session box that lets you have up to thirty blogs saved that you can open in separate tabs, it’s how i keep track of mine o/ ]]

//...WAIT WHAT?! HOLY SHIT!!!