#His role in this movie really did something to my brain. Thinking about him again

[at0michips]

interviews and intimacy — mike faist

summary: the press tour of challengers was coming to an end, and even though Mike liked promoting his new movie all around the world, he was tired and even annoyed of the same old questions, so it did surprise him when a younger woman changed the pattern.

author note: just wanted to say that this is based off my deepest thoughts and hallucinations that this is going to happen to me someday and I just really needed to elaborate it further than in my brain. I have a lot more like this to work on so maybe it becomes a sort of series, who knows!! feel free to request

It was a full day, Mike has been patient and tried to be as social as possible with the press but he couldn't help the bad mood that came with those clueless questions that could totally put him and his coworkers in an uncomfortable situation, especially with both of them openly having a significant other. So when he heard that this would be the last interview of the press he felt relieved, he could go straight back into his house in New York, spend some days in there and go back to Ohio so he could see his family for a bit and then see what was his next step.

Everything seemed like it was going to work out nicely, and then it didn't looked like it anymore. After the new interview crew arrived he could hear some whispering between them.

"W-why does it have to be me?" one of the girls said a little loud only to be shushed by an older woman who was attaching a mic in her clothing

"Because you have a degree, because you have been helping Rose write the last interviews questions, because you're good!" she answered "Calm down, they're just people, ok? I spoke to her on the phone and she promised to pay you dinner next friday, keep that in mind." and then it hit him, that a girl who looked barely out of college was about to lead this interview.

The studio buzzed with the controlled chaos of a film set winding down for the day. Mike Faist sat across from you, a young journalist who had been unexpectedly thrust into the role of interviewer. Initially skeptical of her ability to handle the job, Mike found himself pleasantly surprised as the interview progressed.

"You know, for someone who's filling in last minute, you're doing pretty damn well," Mike remarked, a hint of admiration in his voice.

You felt your shoulders relax a fraction, the tension from earlier slowly dissipating. "Thank you. I'm glad I could hold my own."

Mike nodded thoughtfully, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "More than holding your own, actually. You're asking some really insightful questions."

You couldn't help but smile back, a mixture of relief and pride washing over her. "I've been a writer for a while, just not usually about movies."

"Well, maybe you've found a new calling," he teased lightly, his gaze lingering on her face. "You've definitely got a knack for it."

You felt a warmth spread through your chest at his compliment. "I think I'll stick to writing," you replied, matching his playful tone. "But who knows? Maybe I'll make an exception."

Mike leaned in a bit closer, the studio lights casting a soft glow around the both of you. "I hope you do," he said sincerely. "Because I'd really like to see you again. Maybe over a drink, not in a studio."

You could feel your heart skip a beat at the invitation. "I'd like that too."

As they exchanged smiles, the noise of the studio faded into the background, leaving only the promise of a new connection blossoming between them.

The bar was buzzing with soft chatter and the clinking of glasses, casting a warm glow over you and Mike as you sat across from each other. After the earlier meeting for the interview, something had shifted, probably the intimate ambiance of the place helped it too.

"So, what's it really like being on stage every night?" you asked, with the voice laced with genuine curiosity.

Mike leaned forward, his eyes sparkling as he recounted stories from his time on Broadway. His passion for his craft was evident, and you found yourself captivated not just by his words but by the sincerity in his gaze.

As the evening wore on, the conversation flowed effortlessly, weaving between laughter and moments of shared insight. Mike found himself drawn to your intelligence and wit, and he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something special about you.

The drinks arrived, and Mike hesitated for a moment before reaching out to lightly touch your hand. You looked up, meeting his gaze with a hint of surprise that quickly melted into a warm smile.

"I'm really glad we could do this," Mike admitted, his voice soft but earnest.

You could feel your heart skip a beat. "Me too," you replied, the voice tinged with a mix of excitement and nervousness.

In that moment, the air between you both seemed to crackle with unspoken tension. Without another word, Mike leaned in, closing the gap remaining between the two of you. Your lips met in a gentle, tentative kiss that spoke volumes of the attraction simmering beneath the surface.

It was a kiss filled with promise, a silent agreement of mutual interest and the beginning of something new.

The world around you seemed to fade away as they kissed, your hand finding its way to Mike's cheek as if to anchor yourself in the moment. Mike's heart raced, his mind momentarily forgetting the crowded bar and focusing solely on the warmth of your lips against his.

When you finally pulled back, your breaths mingling in the space between them, Mike searched for your eyes, his own filled with a mixture of wonder and longing.

"Wow," you whispered, your voice barely audible above the soft background music.

"Yeah," Mike murmured, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "That was... unexpected."

You chuckled nervously, feeling a warmth spread around your face. "Unexpected, but definitely not unwelcome."

You sat in comfortable silence for a moment, basking in the afterglow of their kiss. The tension that had built up between you and Mike earlier seemed to dissipate, replaced now by a quiet understanding.

"I should probably walk you home," Mike suggested softly, his thumb gently tracing circles on the back of your hand.

You nodded, a small smile playing on your lips. "I'd like that."

As you guys left the bar and stepped out into the cool night air, Mike offered you his arm, and you gladly linked hers through his. You walked side by side, with the shoulders brushing occasionally, each lost in their own thoughts yet connected by the spark that had ignited that evening.

[xoxodeardiary]

3.46k words

A seemingly disappointing birthday turns into a little getaway for Maryn after she wins miss world and who better to spend it with than Aaron. Masterlist

This contains mentions depictions of staying at a poor mental health facility and nothing else to heavy, I want to speed up Maryn and Mabel’s journey to really get to Aaron and Maryns love story… so bear with me please.

Timeline Maryns met Aaron at the gala in Feb, it’s now May. This chapter takes place over the weekend. The dinner is Sat and the kiss happens on sun.

ꨄ

Here I was, once again, on the stage that started it all. Well, not the exact same stage, but the sash around me felt just as heavy, the fabric the same. Only the words were different now. The girls standing beside me were new faces, but their whispers and side glances—their shit-talking—felt eerily familiar. The lights burned as hot as I remembered, searing into my skin like they were part of the ritual. I was such an idiot for thinking it would ever be over. In the pageant world, you can’t just win and stop.

You start with the baby contests, then you move to junior competitions, and eventually, you make it to the big leagues. Beautiful girls from every corner of life—nepo babies with their air of entitlement, and girls who, like me, clawed their way up from nothing. Some girls used pills to coke, tapeworms to anorexia, anything to stay on top. To win Modeling contracts, movie roles, music deals—whatever the prize, you gave up pieces of yourself to get it.

I’d jumped through every hoop. I’d sashayed and smiled before the judges, even Marlon Beck. He was all too eager to forgive my past "mistakes" and save my ass with Mabel, of course—for a price. Nothing in this world comes without a price. And the more you want, the stranger the currency.

Back to where the sterile air reeked of bleach, All the monotone voices with their passive smiles—smiles faker than mine.

“I just want to help you,” the counselor would say, her words syrupy with insincerity. “They’re worried about you.”

Lies. Every word ignited something deep inside me, but I swallowed the flames, knowing that speaking out would only make it worse. Her notepad, its yellow pages already scrawled with lies, sat perched in her lap like a loaded weapon. The scratching sound of the rubber pen with a dull tip as I signed my name. Over and over bored out of my mind.

Then there was the medicine—the taunting voices it silenced in my head were replaced by a heavier, darker fog. The pills weighed on my brain, turning it into thick, heavy soil where no clarity could grow.

I’d give anything to never go back to that place.

“You have less than a minute to answer, Ms. United States of America. The question is: Is this your dream?” The pretty woman read from the prompter, glancing at the countdown timer projected on the wall.

No. Hell no. This was nothing like it should’ve been the farthest thing from what I deserved, what I had earned. That was what I wanted to say, but my game face held steady. I smiled with practiced poise and delivered the winning answer, the words flowing like honey, sweet and insincere.

The applause roared around me as I walked back to my place, standing beside Ms. Canada. My hands clutched the folds of my gown, my heart pounding beneath my chest. This wasn’t my dream. But on this stage, under these lights, it had to be.

The real beating came backstage. Everyone else may have been satisfied with my performance, but Mabel wouldn’t be. I could feel it in the air, her eyes on me, like she was waiting for me to slip up. Ricardo had saved my ass those few weeks ago, but I knew it couldn’t be him again. It was either me or him, and I couldn’t keep being selfish. It hurt, but I couldn’t let him suffer for me.

Ricky had been Mabel’s godson since he was born. His family had money, so did Mabel. They were close, grew up together, and when Ricky’s mother, Honey, caught his eye, I could see the anger in Mabel. Honey had something she’d wanted for decades, but she settled and played her role.

When Ricky was born, Mabel was his emergency contact, and after James and Honey died, it was all hers—Ricky and the money. Everything went into her hands, including the memories. She could’ve kept the photos, the videos, the moments of a life she didn’t care about, but she burned them. What remained was just the money, and she held it like a prize. That’s all she cared about, that’s all she ever would.

I could feel my body start to betray me. I hadn’t eaten all day, and the emptiness in my stomach was becoming a black hole. My vision blurred, spinning, as I stumbled backstage, dizziness taking over. The world felt too heavy.

"Ricky, where is my lancet? I think I need sugar," I murmured, barely able to catch my breath.

"Where did you pack it?" Ricky’s voice, frantic, cut through the haze, searching for it.

I felt my body slump. “I—. She didn’t pack it. I did.” Mabel said cutting me off standing against the door like a lion about to pounce. “Just like I do everything around here. And for that fat, ditzy bitch to embarrass me like that, and then stuff herself with sweets. Ha. No. I don’t think so."

Mabel sneered and shoved it into her pocket. She didn’t even care that I could go into shock. I had diabetes since I was 15 years old.

I leaned back into the couch, my head swimming, when she grabbed my face with sharp, cold hands. Her nails dug into my skin, her fingers like vices. She twisted, pushing in my jaw, and I could feel the scrape of her nails along my neck. It hurt. It hurt more than I could handle, but I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t give her the satisfaction. Not now.

I hissed, trying to blink the pain away, but the tears formed, and I could feel them threatening to fall. The last thing I needed was to cry. I needed to be strong, even though the strength was slipping away with each second.

“You have the audacity to cry when you’re the one who slapped me in the face?” Mabel spat, her voice like acid. She jerked my head roughly to the right, tilting it painfully, forcing me to look at her. My chest tightened. The cold, judgmental light above us made everything feel so sterile, so clinical. Like I wasn’t a person, just something to punish.

“I-I’m sorry,” I stammered, my voice breaking. “I didn’t mean to... really... the medicine....” I swallowed hard, hoping my words would make sense, hoping they would lessen the wrath that was building inside her.

She cut me off with a sharp, cruel laugh. “No. It didn’t.”

I froze. The small, weak part of me that had hoped for some kind of mercy, some kind of understanding, crumbled. I whimpered like a child being told no for the first time, and all I could do was stare at her, helpless.

She stormed out, slamming the door behind her, leaving me there on the couch, heart pounding, chest tight with fear. Alone.

“Ssh, it’s okay. Here,” Ricky’s voice was a lifeline, soft and calming. I didn’t deserve it, but he was there, kneeling beside me, pulling a ziplock bag of my favorite candies from his pocket. I didn’t feel like I could move. I felt paralyzed, the weight of everything pressing down on me. Every part of me just wanted to escape. I didn’t want to feel anymore.

Ricky fed me a piece of candy, his hand gentle, guiding it to my lips. I let myself take it, even though I didn’t want to. His actions felt like the only thing keeping me tethered to reality, even though part of me wished I could just let go.

The weariness washed over me, pulling at my limbs like I was being swallowed whole. My head rested back, and the harsh, cold air stung my skin for a second before Ricky put his hoodie around me, the warmth of it wrapping me in a fleeting comfort.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his thick Dominican accent brushing against my ears.

“It’s okay” was all I could say before sleep took over, drowning everything else out.

But as I drifted off, my thoughts spiraled. What was I doing? How had it come to this? I had no control, not anymore. Mabel had me trapped in a cage of her making, and all I could do was survive it. I wasn’t strong enough for anything else, and maybe not even that.

-

Eventually, I got up, the sun outside dimming as it faded into a golden-orange hue, casting long shadows across the room. I sat on my pink silk sheets, my eyes trailing aimlessly around my space. There was a heaviness in my chest I couldn’t shake, but I pushed it aside. Despite everything, I couldn’t deny the small spark of satisfaction I felt in the plumpness of my lips and the way my lashes framed my eyes. Little things, but they made me feel... okay. Maybe even pretty.

I stretched my arms toward the ceiling, letting out a yawn that ended in a deep sigh. There was no avoiding it—I had a job to do tonight. My task was simple enough: look my prettiest and flatter Marlon Beck until his ego inflated like a balloon. The thought made me cringe, but I couldn’t afford not to.

The warm embrace of a hot bath called to me, and I answered, stepping into the steamy water I’d filled with Epsom salts and a frothy bubble bath. The lavender scent wrapped itself around me as I lowered into the tub, letting the heat ease the tension in my body. My head rested against the cool porcelain edge of the clawfoot tub, my eyes fluttering closed.

For a brief moment, I allowed myself to exist.

Birthdays used to mean something. Now, for the last five years, they’d been nothing but a source of sadness—a reminder of what I’d lost. The edges of those dark thoughts crept in, like unwelcome guests at the door of my mind, threatening to pull me under. But no. Not this time. I was tired of being sad.

And then I heard it: a small, familiar voice, soft at first but growing louder.

“Whose birthday is it?” Mama asked, her tone warm and full of love.

The memory unfolded like a movie reel. I saw myself as a little girl, standing beside her. My store-bought Princess Tiana dress had deep creases from being folded too long in its plastic bag, but I didn’t care. The matching plastic heels clicked and clacked as I jumped up and down, the plastic strap with Tiana’s smiling face barely keeping my feet in place.

“It’s my birthday, Mama!” little me chirped, her voice high-pitched and brimming with excitement.

“And how old are you?” she asked, her smile so wide it could’ve lit up the room.

The kitchen had been transformed. The cluttered counters and table had been replaced by a large white folding table, its front draped with a “Happy Birthday” banner that sagged slightly in the middle, with presents littered everywhere.

“I’m 10!” I exclaimed, my grin nearly splitting my face.

“Ten years old,” Mama said, clapping her hands together. “Let’s all sing happy birthday!”

The memory swelled. My older cousin walked in carrying a cake, and the smile on my face grew impossibly wider. They set the cake down on the table, and the familiar birthday tune began.

“How old are you?” they sang, their voices overlapping.

“10!” I shouted, my voice bursting with pride.

“How old are you?” they repeated, louder this time.

“10!” I screamed again, puffing my chest out like it made me bigger.

The song ended, and I leaned over to blow out the candles. The sound of cheers and laughter filled the air as the candles went out, replaced by the smell of melting wax and sweet frosting.

The memory faded, leaving me sitting in the tub with a bittersweet ache in my chest. That little girl—the one jumping up and down, her plastic heels clicking, her heart full of pure, untainted joy—I was so jealous of her. I wanted to be her again. I wanted to feel that kind of happiness again.

Maybe... maybe that started with a choice. A choice to fight.

I sat up, the water rippling around me as I scrubbed myself clean. When I was done, I dried off and coated myself in lotion and perfume, determined to put the memory to good use.

The familiar sound of knobs turning and a door clicking open pulled me from my thoughts. I sat at my vanity, wrapped in a soft robe, my cluttered makeup station lit by the warm glow of the bulbs around the mirror. I scrolled through my phone, searching for outfit inspiration.

“Maria, are you decent?” Ricky’s voice called out my middle name from the hallway. He pushed the door open a crack, his hand covering his eyes.

“Why’d you come in if you thought I wasn’t dressed, perv?” I teased, a small smirk tugging at my lips.

Ricky rolled his eyes, clicking his teeth. “Happy 25th birthday!” he said, stepping inside with a pink gift box in one hand and a small cake in the other. He pulled a tiny confetti popper from his pocket and let it off with a grin.

I couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of me as I rushed to hug him. “Thank you,” I whispered, my voice softer than I intended.

“Come here,” he said, beckoning me over to the bed. He placed the pink box in front of me and opened it to reveal a heart-shaped mini cake.

“Your favorite,” he said proudly. “Red velvet. And I made sure to tell them you like it dense.”

He began singing “Happy Birthday,” his deep voice filling the room. When the song ended, he sat beside me, waiting expectantly.

“Aren’t you going to eat your cake?” he asked. “It’s your favorite.”

I hesitated, glancing at the cake before shaking my head. “I can’t,” I said, standing to adjust my robe. “I’ll get bigger.”

Ricky frowned. “Maria, you’re barely a hundred pounds soaking wet. A slice of cake isn’t going to change that.” He picked up the knife and cut a piece, holding it out to me. “Forget what Mabel says. It’s your day, and she won’t even be back for another two weeks.”

I crossed my arms. “But she left prepped meals. She’s going to know if I don’t eat them. She’ll notice if I gain weight.”

Ricky’s jaw tightened. “Let me deal with Mabel,” he said, his tone firm. “She doesn’t need to know everything.”

“She always finds out,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “She told me I’d be nothing more than an addict. Do you think she’s right?”

Ricky crouched in front of me, his eyes searching mine for an answer. “No. Of course not. You’ve been sober for six months, Ricky. You’re doing amazing.”

“She doesn’t have power over me anymore,” he continued. “She only did because of the drugs. But I’m free now. I found my brother, and he has pictures, videos—proof of everything. I’m going to settle this. She won’t be able to hurt us anymore.”

He kissed my forehead, lingering for just a moment, before walking out.

Could I finally be free?

-

The restaurant was cloaked in an air of quiet sophistication, the kind of place where the conversations were low, the laughter subdued, and the clink of cutlery against fine china almost hypnotic. The ambiance was steeped in luxury, the dark wooden walls polished to a gleam, their antique charm complemented by ornate golden inlays. Everything here seemed timeless, as if the room itself was frozen in a moment meant to impress.

I sat a few feet away from the balcony’s intricate wrought-iron banister, the design curling like ivy vines, each detail catching the faint light of the crystal chandelier hanging above. The chandelier was massive, the kind of centerpiece that drew your eye even when you didn’t want to look. Its crystals refracted soft greens and yellows, casting an ethereal glow over the glass shelving lining the walls. The shelves were filled with gleaming bottles that sparkled like jewels, their liquid contents shimmering in the chandelier’s light.

My chair was a deep maroon, upholstered in velvet so soft it felt like sinking into a cloud. Golden details were woven into the armrests and back, their intricate patterns catching the light with every slight shift. I tried to let the elegance of my surroundings distract me, to lose myself in the hushed murmur of conversations coming from the floor below. There, couples and groups sat in matching maroon chairs at circular tables draped in crisp white tablecloths. The flicker of candlelight played across their faces as they laughed and sipped wine, their plates piled with food that looked almost too beautiful to eat.

But none of it could keep my mind from wandering. I checked my watch again, the time staring back at me like a cruel joke. Marlon was an hour late. An hour. The realization settled heavily in my chest, making my heart ache in that dull, familiar way.

He had forced me into this date, had insisted with that charming, condescending smile of his that I clear my schedule. And now he had the audacity—the gaul—to stand me up.

The soft hum of the restaurant couldn’t drown out my spiraling thoughts. My gaze drifted to the empty seat across from me, its maroon upholstery mocking me. A lump formed in my throat, hot and humiliating.

If even Marlon Beck—someone who’d sleep with just about anyone—didn’t want me, what did that say about me?

The question clung to me like a wet cloak, its weight dragging me further into the darkness. It wasn’t just about this date or him not showing up; it was about everything. Every rejection, every misstep, every time I had felt like I wasn’t enough. The restaurant seemed to grow quieter, the glow of the chandelier dimming in my mind as my thoughts consumed me.

I was sinking into that familiar pit when a soft voice broke through.

“Ma’am, could I get you anything?”

The waitress’s voice startled me, pulling me back to the present. I blinked up at her, her kind eyes framed by dark lashes, her expression gentle but professional.

I straightened in my chair, trying to shake the heaviness off me, if only for a moment. “Um…” I hesitated, my thoughts catching up to my surroundings. My mind flitted back to the menu I had studied earlier.

“I’ll have the six-ounce filet mignon, medium rare, with the white veggie rice,” I finally said, my voice steadier than I expected.

She nodded, her smile softening the edges of my embarrassment as she leaned forward to pour water into my glass.

As she walked away, I sank back into the maroon chair, the plush velvet cradling me. I looked down at my watch again, though I already knew what it would say. Marlon wasn’t coming.

The flickering light of the chandelier caught my eye again, the greens and yellows reflecting faintly on the golden inlays of the banister. Somewhere below, a burst of laughter erupted from one of the tables, sharp and bright. It made me smile.

I reached for my water glass and took a slow sip, letting the cool liquid slide down my throat. My thoughts felt heavier now, like stones stacking one on top of the other. Still, a small part of me wanted to believe this didn’t mean anything. That it wasn’t about me. But that part was small, and tonight, it felt impossibly far away.

The restaurant’s quiet hum wrapped around me, a stark contrast to the storm brewing inside my chest. I kept my gaze fixed on the chandelier above, the delicate greens and yellows refracting off the crystal, as if willing the sight to distract me from the empty seat across the table. But it didn’t. I traced my finger along the edge of the white tablecloth, a nervous habit that felt more pathetic with each passing second.

Marlon wasn’t coming.

I let out a soft sigh, trying to push the hurt down. It didn’t matter. It couldn’t matter. If I let myself wallow, I’d only fall deeper into that pit I’d been clawing my way out of for years. Instead, I reached for my water, taking another sip as I focused on the faint ripple in the glass.

And then, I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye.

A tall figure stepped into the dining area, scanning the tables. His warm brown eyes landed on me, and his face broke into a relieved smile. Aaron.

“Aaron?” I said aloud before I could stop myself, my voice tinged with surprise.

“Hey, Maryn,” he greeted, his tone soft and unassuming as always. He hesitated for a moment, his hand gripping the back of the chair across from me. “Is this seat taken?”

I blinked, glancing at the empty chair Marlon was supposed to fill.

A pang of disappointment surged through me, but I pushed it aside. “No, go ahead,” I said, offering him a small smile.

Aaron sat down, his movements careful, as if he didn’t want to disturb the fragile air around us. He adjusted his jacket and looked at me with a sheepish grin. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight.”

“Same,” I replied, watching him closely. Aaron had always been... different. Steady. Kind in a way that didn’t demand attention but lingered in the little things he did.

“I, uh, saw you sitting here alone,” he continued, his voice dipping lower, “and I thought maybe you could use some company. If that’s okay?”

I hesitated for a fraction of a second, my mind briefly flickering back to Marlon and the sting of rejection. But then I looked at Aaron’s earnest face, and something in me softened. “Of course it’s okay,” I said, my smile growing a little wider.

The waitress returned just then, her eyes flicking between the two of us before settling on me. “Would you like me to add anything to your order?”

Aaron looked at me questioningly, but I waved him off. “I already ordered. But Aaron, you should get something.”

He glanced at the menu, quickly scanning it before nodding. “I’ll have the vodka pasta please,” he said before handing the menu back to the waitress.

As she walked away, Aaron turned his attention fully to me. “So, what brings you here tonight? Fancy dinner for one?”

His teasing tone was gentle, but it still made my cheeks warm. I shrugged, “It was supposed to be something like a date I guess but it’s also my birthday.” I said

His eyes lit up and he gave me a toothy grin raising his eyebrows. “ May 29th you’re a fellow Gemini!” He pointed out making me scrunch my face playfully.

“Oh don’t tell me you’re one of those people.” I said with a blissful laugh.

“No- no I’m not that into it like those people who blame everything on mercury.” He belled laughing with me. The night went on a turned into an amazing evening.

Somehow we ended up on the streets of the city having a great time walking on the dark empty beach, talking, having non stop smiles of pure joy on our faces.

“How do you think people will react to this.” His accent flushing my moonlit skin.

“I don’t care I having fun!” I said I haven’t felt this good in a very long time. “I love them but forget the people who’ll care. It’s weird because I’m a public figure and all but people are just way too invested.” I drew out the brandy I had clearly speaking in innards.

“Yeah we need to get you some water.” He said making me burst into laughter I looked to my left where we were sitting in the sand.

His eyes even prettier in the dark this glistening skin smelling thick and rich. He sat next to me in a dark button up and dark slacks the sleeves rolled up showcasing the lion tattoo on his forearm. I could already tell he knew what I was laughing at.

“Can I? please.” I begged as he rolled his eyes at me before nodding his head.

“Wha-uh!” I exaggerated going into another fit of laughter.

“Alright Ms.Queen let’s get you home.”

I woke to the faint aroma of coffee and the soft hum of a bird outside the window. For a moment, I wasn’t sure where I was. The ceiling above me wasn’t mine, nor was the slightly lumpy cushion beneath my head. My jacket was balled up beneath me, stiff and uncomfortable. Then it hit me. Maryn’s place. Turning over to my left reaching out for Maryn only to feel the coldness of where I layed her down.

I opened my eyes fully, squinting against the pale morning light that filtered through the curtains. The faint clatter of dishes came from the kitchen, followed by the sound of water running. I didn’t need to see her to know it was her.

Maryn had a presence that lingered, even when she wasn’t in the room.

Turning my head over to the left to see the toiletries shed layed out for me. As well as a t-shit and some basketball shorts.

I hadn’t planned on staying over but after dinner. I just couldn’t bring myself to leave.

Maryn intrigued me in ways I couldn’t quite explain. She had this strength about her, a quiet defiance that masked something softer underneath. She had a lively spirt I could feel.

I saw it in the way she brushed off the sting of the date that didn’t show, pretending it didn’t bother her when I knew it did. And I saw it now, in the way she moved through her space with purpose.

I glanced around again, taking in the details I’d missed last night the colors, little trinkets and cozy blankets she has sprawled in her home and on various things.

The sound of her voice startled me.

"Good morning," she said, poking her head around the corner. Her hair was tousled, and there was a smudge of flour on her cheek. She must’ve been baking something.

"Morning," I replied, my voice raspier than I expected. I cleared my throat and offered a smile. "You’re up early."

She shrugged, leaning against the doorway with a mug in her hands. "Couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d make some tea. Want some?"

"Let’s see if an American can impress me with tea," I said, standing and stretching. Her lips curved into a smirk. "It’s an earl gray I put honey in mine." She said in a decent British accent.

I laughed, following her into the kitchen. The space was small but cozy, with mismatched mugs hanging from hooks and a calendar on the wall, each day marked with tiny scribbles.

She handed me a mug, and I took a sip, the warmth spreading through me. "All right, I’ll give it to you," I admitted. " at least one American knows how to make tea."

Her grin widened, and for a moment, All I could think about was how effortlessly beautiful she looked, standing there in her little kitchen, as if she belonged in a storybook. Her hair big and coily in a quick bun in a cropped large t-shirt and some plaid boys boxers.

I watched her move around, tidying up and humming softly under her breath. There was something grounding about being here with her, something I couldn’t quite put into words.

“Do you eat sausage?” She asked me turning around back to the stove.

“I do darling.” I tried my chances with a nickname as not looking out from her pots but I could tell she was smiling as she said “darling is that just a British thing or are you trying to flirt?” She said in her sweet southern accent

“This is some cheese grits, a biscuit, eggs, sausage, and some chocolate chip pancakes.” She briefed.

“This is a scone.” I said looking at the biscuit.

“No it a delicious biscuit, you wish you had these in London.” She said eyes sparking as she waited for me to take a bite.

As soon as I went to taste it she yelled “wait! Try it all together like make it a sandwich everything but the grits.” She said showing me hers. Doing as she said making my sandwich I dug in and relished in the flavor.

“I know thank you.” She cockily said

-

The sun was higher now, casting long shadows across Maryn’s living room. I stood by the window, coffee in hand, staring out at the lazy streets of the city. For a moment, I let myself forget that I wasn’t in London anymore. I wasn’t in some quiet corner of the world—no, I was in the whirlwind of Maryn’s life. The world outside wasn’t just any street; it was lined with the ever-present hum of fame, of cameras and eyes that would be watching her every move.

I turned, looking at the glossy kitchen island, the still-warm plates, and remnants of our breakfast. The intimacy of it all felt surreal, almost too normal for two people like us—celebrities who lived their lives under constant scrutiny.

“Hey,” Maryn’s voice cut through my thoughts, and I turned to find her leaning against the doorframe, wearing a comfortable oversized sweater and leggings. She had that soft glow that came from the sun casting on her brown eyes.

Is this how people feel about my eyes?

“Hey,” I replied, giving her a soft smile.

She took a breath, then pushed herself off the doorframe. “Wanna share favorite movies?” She asked me walking over to the couch.

“Yeah I need to show you some real classics.” I told her throwing her head back she let out a laugh before turning to me.

“Yea, okay we’ll see about that.” She said in another accent.

“This one is The color purple and it’s my favorite movie of all time.” She said as she flicked through Hulu putting the movie on.

The movie flickered softly on the screen, its warm glow casting fleeting shadows across the room. Maryn’s knees were tucked under her, the oversized hoodie slipping slightly off her shoulder, revealing soft skin that caught the light in a way that felt almost hypnotic. She smelt like vanilla in an intoxicating way.

I leaned back into the couch, pretending to watch the movie, but my focus kept drifting to her. The way her fingers curled to match Celies “Until you do right by me everything you do will crumble.” She said in sync.

My gaze lingering longer than I meant to. There was something about the way she tilted her head slightly, her everything enticing, making my chest tighten. She must have felt it because she shifted slightly, her movements slow, deliberate.

She turned her head, catching me in the act. Her eyes met mine. For a moment, neither of us said anything. The movie played on, but its sound faded to a distant murmur. It was just her, her eyes searching mine, as though she was trying to figure out what I was thinking, and I didn’t have the words to explain it.

Her lips parted, not to speak but as if she wanted to ask a question she wasn’t sure she should. My heart pounded, the air between us suddenly feeling heavier. She didn’t look away, and neither did I.

Her fingers, which had been idly tracing the blanket, stilled, her hand now just resting there—close but not close enough. Slowly, carefully, I reached out, my fingers brushing against hers. Her skin was soft, warm, and when she didn’t pull away, I let my hand settle over hers.

She didn’t look down at our hands, though. Her focus stayed on me, her eyes wide, I could feel her breath hitch softly, her chest rising and falling in time with mine,I was itching to having her in my hands. Skin to skin, bare with us.

I leaned forward, closing the distance an inch at a time. I could feel her hesitation, not in fear but in wonder, as though she was trying to decide if this was real. Her eyes flickered to my lips, then back to my eyes, and that was all I needed.

When my lips met hers, it was soft, tentative, as though we both wanted to take our time, to let this moment unfold naturally. Her lips moved against mine, slow and searching, and my heart thundered in my chest. Her hand turned under mine, her fingers lacing with mine as she leaned into the kiss, her weight shifting closer, her presence enveloping me.

Time disappeared. The movie became a distant hum, the world around us fading into a blur of muted light and the warmth of her touch. When we broke apart, her breath mingled with mine, the tip of her nose brushing against me as neither of us moved far. Her eyes opened, meeting mine again, and there was something raw and vulnerable in her gaze—something that made my chest tighten all over again.

Feeling the kiss still on my lips, I needed more. Ours heads buoying for a moment, leaning and her soft lips on mine. Breaking apart catching our breath.

“Do you want this?” I asked her my eyes etched on hers.

[starlightsuffered]

hi! I think I requested before but I heard about your last account so I just wanted to ask through here in case it was lost. Also, sorry about that, that must be so annoying. Could you do something with a reader who is dominate in all ways, except the bedroom? Like, the second they’re behind closed doors, she loves it when Timmy takes control, and overall babies the shit out of her. Maybe he can even be a little teasing about it, but still soft Dom’s her cause otherwise she’ll cry and be all pouty lipped?

A/N - I tried my best at this, I didn’t really know what to do

Working Girl

Info - soft dom Timothée, fingering, boss and agent relationship, a bit of pouting, teasing

“Hey y/n,” he called to me. I didn’t look up from my phone because I needed to finalize this last thing. Sighing, I hit send on the email, and finally looked up.

“Hey superstar,” I answered. My eyes felt tired and worn. So much planning, so much responsibility, it was all pulling me a hundred different ways. I did enjoy it. I liked being on top of my life and Timothée’s life.

“You look cute,” he purred, eyes scanning up and down my body. I rolled my eyes.

“So tomorrow, you are doing an interview on Fallon. After that you have a spa treatment appointment. You need to remember to be there about twenty minutes prior to the appointment. That stylist LOVES punctuality, it goes a long way with him. Then there’s that fitting you need to go to, and you have a call back for that role in the new Wes Anderson movie-“

“You’re just on top of everything aren’t you?” He asked with a smirk.

“Don’t be cheeky-“

“Well there is one thing you aren’t on top of that I’d love you to consider,” he began.

“There’s a gala on Friday. I’ve heard through the grapevine that you’re expected to wear something extremely unique so work on that please. I also borrowed your credit card to pay the bill you ran up at Viccidi’s.”

“You’ve sure done a lot.”

“You need to start thinking about what your acceptance speech for the BAFTA’s may be if you end up winning.”

“Maybe I do need to do that,” he mused. “But what do you need?”

He sidled closer to me. My resolve to never engage in this again was waning. I felt myself quivering under his granite gaze.

“Tim,” I gasped.

“Shhhh, you can let go baby girl. Let go of that control,” he soothed me.

“But, I’m, I need to- and it’s wrong on so many levels,” I mumbled helplessly.

I let him spin me, I let him push his long fingers down into my panties. I hissed as he dragged them through my folds. He lifted them to his magenta lips and slurped off the arousal.

“Mmmmmm, seems like you want me to take over,” he chuckled. He was slowly pulling down my pants. His large hands crept up my torso and grasped my breasts. He massaged gently, tweaking a peaked nipple every now and then. I was gasping for air.

I tried to find my voice, to find that confidence I’d had only moments ago. It was all gone. I knew this was wrong but I wanted to melt into his arms, and into the pleasure he could provide me.

“Timothée,” I gasped when he started on my shirt buttons. He quieted me with a slow rub of my clit.

Soon, I was all bare. My hard nipples were tingling in the chill air. My panties were around my ankles, and I knew I should stop him but the wrongness of it made it feel even more right!

“We shouldn’t- OHHHH!” I called out as he lifted one of my legs for me. It gave him much better access to my gspot as his fingers curled.

“S’okay princess,” he purred in my ear. My eyes nearly rolled back in my head. He kissed a wet trail up my neck. His cock was extremely hard against my ass.

This was heaven, and just how I liked it. He was shutting off my brain. I should have been embarrassed that my own client had me on display like this. He hadn’t shed an article of clothing but he had so much control and power over me.

I was panting as I listened to every wet sound my pussy made. He was crooning praise in my ear. I usually took compliments with a grain of salt. Everyone wanted to flatter the agent of Timothée Chalamet, but his meant the world to me.

“Such a good girl, planning all that stuff for me. You’re so strong and independent aren’t you princess?” He asked me as his fingers rolled my clit even faster. He almost completely supported me now. It felt amazing to be so reliant on someone else for once. I knew I could go completely boneless and he’d catch me.

“Yes,” was all I could manage to gasp out.

“Until you need some pleasure. You’re like a doll baby, letting me move you around. I love giving you the treatment you deserve. I just need to shut that pretty mind off for a while,” he continued to encourage me.

“That’s it, that’s it!” He praised as I made small sounds of need.

“Timothée, ohhhh, fuck, feels so good,” I whined.

“Haha, I knew you’d cave. You’re such a little slave for me-“

“Hey!” I snapped. He backed off, knowing his cocky hard dom attitude would turn me off immediately.

“I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean it. You know you deserve this,” he cooed.

“That’s right I deserve it,” I moaned. I was bucking into his hand. I felt so amazingly good I could hardly breathe. I loved the way his hand still held my leg up, not making me do any of the work. My whole body was beginning to tingle and shake slightly.

“Yeah, you like to be babied don’t you? Huh? Let Timothée take Care of it,” he coaxed,

“Oh, oh, oh, I’m gonna, Tim, gonna-“

“Let go Princess,” he whispered.

I exploded. I swear I saw stars as my whole body ran cold and then fiery hot. My knees gave out but Timothée kept me up. My body jerked as pulsations of pleasure just bucked through my body.

The moment after was only filled with heavy breathing. He lowered us to the ground, holding me in his arms.

“Kiss me, kiss me please,” I begged him. After an orgasm like that I needed the soft touch of lips.

“Why don’t you kiss me, since you’re the responsible, confident, executive woman,” he teased.

“Please,” I pouted. I didn’t have the energy to beg much more. Thankfully he gave into me.

He leaned down, cupped my jaw and let his lips brush against mine. I deepened meeting of mouths. I wanted him to spoil me with kisses. I felt him smirk, but he didn’t deny me what I wanted.

@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet @vvsdreaming @lovelyrocker @therealbeabodoobee

[thebrokenmechanicalpencil]

OK so yep turtle child. I seem to have fallen back into all my old artistic phases once again, Tmnt included in that roster.

I get a brain worm sometimes, it sits and annoys me and wont go away because of course I cant be inspired to draw normal things. Oh well, this is Mucha (pronounced Moo-kah) named after a painter from the art nouveau period. He is the son of our favorite leader in blue, Leo. YES ok wait before anyone gets me, no oc shipping made him. He and his cousin's were made through the art of ✨science✨

Lets say in the bay movies (because those have a soft spot in my heart I'm so sorry I know theyr kinda ugly-) some baddie gets the blood samples from the brothers and instead of trying to make a pandemic (havnt watched the movies in forever forgive me) they try recreating the experiment to try and create super soldiers (overused plot line dontworryaboutit) they mix the mutation agent with four turtles they have on standby, along with the DNA of each brother. Welp mutation happens but before they can get too far the boys swoop in thinking it was some sort of beep bop and rock steady situation. They discover the four recently mutated infant turtles and the rest goes from there.

sorta like the last Ronin but no sads, and before you know it the baby turtles have favorites and now they are sorta parent big brothers. As they get older and the babies grow they lean into the fatherly aspect. Or something.

Now this is the baby who gravitated toward Leo and he to him, and has Leo as a top roll model in his life. Sure all the boys help raise the new set, but again the kids all have favorites. Naturally. (I will mess with this later, but for now this is the wobbly idea) Well Mucha has Leo the stern when leading, silly when the weight is off his shoulders, overly bossy and slightly controlling Leo. Leo who would die for his family but can be cruel and very blunt. Who is also really young in his own right. Being the top role model for a child. Well they have a relationship were Mucha adores him, wants to be like him. But can never seem to live up to his expectations, tries so hard to impress him. He has a loving father figure who teaches him but also tries to helicopter him so much. Control so much, who is blunt when frustrated or angry. This kid is terrified of disappointing him, but wants deep within himself to impress his father his OWN way. Being Mucha not little Leo. He falls where Leo did when chosen as leader, under pressure without his parent even realizing it.

Leo does love him, but as we have seen he is a control freak. So his child naturally rebels, snapping and arguing with him when he's having a bad day. Not wanting to listen to him, because Leo wont listen to MUCHA. As Mucha gets older their relationship becomes strained.

K well I'm stuck in this now. This was mostly a thought post, read a thing about Leo wanting so badly to be a parent. Started wondering how it would go, will continue to work on this. Probably. The reason Mucha's art is so angsty is because that's where the pen went. Hes actually not that bad, usually.

OH well the second, white turtle. He gets his own post later :D

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Happy Birthday David Dastmalchian 🎂🎉🎁🎈

To celebrate, I'm stealing borrowing from my friend's @polkadotjohnson amazing idea of making a Top 10 Loved/Hottest roles of his, with an honourable mention for both~ Here's 30 of my most adored characters of his with little snippets for each, it's a looooong read, and if anyone else wants to make their own, here's a tierlist I made for this exact purpose 💗💗💗

10.

💘 Love of my Life - Dr Fearless

My cringefail boyfriend, I love every single headcanon I hear about him. He was so damn cute even before I fell in love, and now every time I see him I start giggling and kicking my feet lol 😚 I adore how much fun DD has with him, and honestly I’m gunna dress as a vampire for Halloween this year /)w(\ been like 20+ years but I really really wanna do it!

🔥 Hottest Role - Whistling Marauder (Bird Box)

Mother of mercy. We rewatched the whole movie just for him, so naturally he shows up near the end and then died ;w; but that outfit, holy hell. Oh my god. I’m such a sucker for bad boys and this guy is going around forcing people to stare at this eldrich being that’ll destroy you or drive you mad. And he looks goddamn great while doing it. Gunna attach myself to the chain on his jeans. Okay I’m normal again, what a way to start off the list lmao

❣️ Honourable Mention - Luke (Singled Out)

Douchebag. Shitty brother who’s also great if only to save his own ass. Thief. Pure idiot. Irresistible. I knew the moment I saw the clips on youtube that he would so be my type, and seeing the full pilot only proved that. Dude picked a burger over getting his sister, he would treat me so wrong half the time, but then he’d make me waffles and it’d be all better 😊

9.

💘 Love of my Life - The Writer (Making Love)

This one breaks my heart so much. I’ve been in a relationship like this before, and I really want to save him from his. He’s beautiful, he’s talented, his outfit is hot as hell with all the rings and bracelets and necklaces, not to mention the undone shirt buttons, he’s got the emo bangs, he is the complete package for me. The only reason he isn’t higher is because I fell for many others first. I almost never watched this one because my brain was going haywire trying to imagine what kinda scenes I’d find in something with a title like that, and sure enough my face was so red the entire time since I watched with headphones and it starts with him whispering right in my ear, like him asking, ‘Do you love me?’ nearly made me cry, I love him so much. If I could bring specifically him to life I would love the hell outta him until he stopped needing such a painful, self-destructive fake love with the Woman QwQ

❣️ Honourable Mention - Nick (Love is an Elevator)

This one is just a silly little guy /)w(\ right from the start he’s so adorable, I would melt if anything even close to his interaction happened to me, and him just swooning and saying she was beautiful before bailing in tears is so me-coded TwT I would love to go out on a date with him!

🔥 Hottest Role - Abra Kadabra (The Flash)

Abra was so tricky to place because I love him, but as soon as I remembered his buckle outfit from his second episode I knew he had to go under Hot. Like, again, I’m so weak. I love his attitude, I love how he just wants that applause for his showmanship, his ‘powers’ are cool as hell, and DD has the wand in his home now and I think that’s so damn cool 😊 The reveal with him wanting to bring back his alternate timeline family was so sweet I almost cried, and he definitely didn’t deserve to be killed out so instantly right after his redemption. Not even a fan/watcher of the show, but in my head I’m having Flash warn him about it since he’s from the future, so he’s fine now 😌

8.

💘 Love of my Life - James Lewis (Teacher)

James was also incredibly difficult to place because I love him so much ;w; The entire movie I was rooting for him, guy did nothing wrong in the face of what was going on around him, and granted he did take things too far, but… villains are hot 😳 so I won through that entire movie. And he lived! And kept getting to teach! I remember I pointed at the screen when he was putting books away cause that’s my job lol I felt truly close to him in that short moment 😂 Anyway, Arabella didn’t deserve him, like she wasn't into it from the moment they met, every single time he talked she would do this 😬 guy was going through hell and was very clearly in a bad place all around, I can’t fault him for drunkenly saying the wrong thing if it were me, even if it did really hurt me. Gunna give him a new wedding ring to put on when he gets outta prison.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hector (Premature)

He’s so cute!!! I may be weak for villains, but I adore his sweeter roles as well, I’m so glad I got to see him. If I moved to a new city and he was my neighbour I’d know I’d be okay, because honestly he needs to be my roommate like yesterday. A chef who’s afraid to cook because of OCD, I’m sure he’d be able to help me with my own cooking from a safe distance, and I already have some practice as my sibling has OCD and is very strict about how her food is handled, so I’ll have come full circle. I just need to make him more okay with cuddles first…

🔥 Hottest Role - Denham (A Killer of Men)

Denham was another one that was hard to place, because that axe twirls makes me insane, but with what little screentime he gets it all evens out. Another great villain, he’s just senseless violence in a bloody wedding dress and he works it. Love the look, love the vibe, if the world ended and the whole gang was coming at me I’d be honoured if he was the one who got me (I swear I’m not that deranged lmao just thirsty)

7.

💘 Love of my Life - Simon Lynch (Almost Human)

Even now I feel like Simon should be higher, especially since I’ve written my fic about him as well as my deep dive. I’ve said it before but my heart really went out to him, the deep dive says way more than I can fit it here, which probably means he should be higher lol so give that (and maybe the fic too 👉👈😌) a read if you haven’t already, all my love for him went into both.

❣️ Honourable Mention - James Harris (The Employer)

Another adorable character, the bar flashbacks had me blushing every time. We all knew it’d be him, but I’m so glad he pulled through at the end. I want this one to be happy, especially after everything he went through. Absolutely cutiepie, gunna be the one to pay for his dinner after he gets home 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Dwight Pollard (Gotham)

Since I go into all of his roles blind, I had no idea what to expect for this one, but from the start I was hooked. Having him be a crazed cult leader with the biggest, most feral smile and laugh ever stole my heart the things I would let this man do to me sakndskjds I liveblogged his eps to a friend of mine who’s seen Gotham and has been trying to get me to watch it for ages cause I love DC, so she was thrilled as I sat here screaming about everything leading up to his ending :’D I’ve gotten some encouragement to write him, so when I do it’s gunna be so insane I’ll have to tag the hell outta it lmao (btw making these gifs nearly killed me oh my god I need him)

6.

💘 Love of my Life - Joshua Whitmore (Cass)

All the pain I went through trying to get this movie was worth it because it all led to him. I love him, I adore him, I’m so incredibly glad that so many others got to see him and love him too thanks to my trials and tribulations. DD’s only artist role, I got to connect with him on a personal level not shared with the others, and my desire to make sure he’s safe and taken care of is so strong that I wrote 26k about him, they’re two of my most favourite things I’ve ever written. I’ve thrown the ending of the movie out and completely placed it with my own, which can be found in my fics, and until Hugh Schulze DMs me personally and tells me what his vision was, that’s what I’m sticking with forever. So rest easy, he’s free from New York and buyers and dealers and the street and he’s safe and happy and painting again ;w;

❣️ Honourable Mention - Thomas Schiff (The Dark Knight)

The OG, a lot of people’s first roles of his, including mine. I remember seeing this movie in theaters when it came out so that means I saw him up there, on the big screen, and something about him stuck around in my brain until I finally realized my love QwQ Even if he isn’t as fleshed out in my mind to make the actual list, I still needed to include him in some way, I hope he got placed somewhere that wasn't Arkham after Batman stepped in.

🔥 Hottest Role - Cam (Relaxer)

I will never watch Relaxer again. Couldn’t even do it while I was making his scenepack cause so many horrible things happen to Abbie I couldn’t take it. But Cam, oh my god, I need this man. Someday I wanna write this huge fic about the reader trying to date him, and there’s no redemption. He’s still terrible at the end. But that’s what we all love about him, how shitty he is and how the potential is there for him to make us all worse. He sucks, but in the best way, and I kinda need him to maybe bully me please 😳 (making that first gif nearly made me blackout why is he doing pushups)

5.

💘 Love of my Life - Bob Taylor (Prisoners)

When I started adding names to my list of men I loved, Bob wasn't even on it at first I think, despite liking him in the movie. Then I saw more with him and added him to crushes. Now I’m fully in love with him, and he breaks my heart every single day. He was hurting for so long, even when we were watching I couldn’t place the blame on him while the rest of my family were convinced just like Loki that he was the one, but no matter what I couldn’t. The second I saw his sweet smile I told them there was no way it was him, and sure enough I was right. Another character who didn’t deserve what happened to him, I’ve been slowly helping him with my headcanons, but in my personal queue I have a fic planned for him and he will have no more sad days when I do 😭 I also have a bunny plush I’d had for years, my dad bought it for me and it’s been sitting on my bed ever since, and when I’m sad I hold it and pretend Bob gave it to me, it’s honestly got me through some much needed therapy because if he could go about his day with that kind of trauma then I could be brave and call about my own mental health :’)

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lonny Crane (The Belko Experiment)

This one’s a bit of a double whammy, cause I love him, but the switch to violence had me staring 👀 Either way, he didn’t deserve his death, but since it is a killing game type movie he was doomed from the start, at least his seemed instant 🥺 Someday I’ll write a fixit for him too, it was just too much for him back to back to back, he really didn’t deserve his final moments to have him as a villain even though I would really love to be lifted up like that aklskjdskds okay I’m normal again

🔥 Hottest Role - Ray Watkins (The Rookie)

Have you seen this man? No really, have you seen him? The twirl, the shirt lifting on his hips, the cold but also fun villainy, the nonchalance to mask the cruelness underneath. I need him. This one is not a Want, he is a Need and I need him. I hope that he gets to come back in the future to fully wrap up his plot along with the cop’s plot, pleasepleaseplease, otherwise I will die unsatisfied.

4.

💘 Love of my Life - Kurt Goreshter (Ant-Man 1-2)

I believe he might’ve been the second role I’d ever seen, but only after I really got into the MCU after Endgame. I skipped Ant-Man in my original watches, since I was mostly just into the Avengers and Cap (mainly Bucky lol) in general, but when I finally did a full marathon I really enjoyed the first movie. Cannot remember my feelings for him now since it’s been about 4 years, but I do know when I went back to rewatch in March I fell the second I saw him 🥰 the hair, the accent, the outfit AGAIN, and those hand tattoos, this is another Perfect Man. My crush on him is incredibly strong, it told me that yeah I was really starting to fall for DD (at that point I’d just seen Demeter a few times, and then Oppenheimer on accident) and it officially kicked off my marathon that eventually led me to my collection I have today. 

❣️ Honourable Mention - Lester Billings (The Boogeyman)

My family actually watched this without me way before my crush began, so when I saw he was in it I just had to finally sit down and watch it myself. Cue me hurriedly typing to my sibling when he showed up lol this man is SAD! He’s so beautiful and sad, I just wanna make a new family with him (I would be a parent for him, that’s the extent of my love) so he can be happy again. I love the backstory I made up for him way more than the original story, sorry Stephen King but you made him awful and I don’t want that one. I’m gunna save this man and he WILL smile again, that’s a Ray Guarantee.

🔥 Hottest Role - The Vampire (Cora)

Now, to start, this one falls prey to Very Bad Writing Choices. I will not deny that. Like, even with the allegory of the whole thing (that I did not see cause I just saw a short vampire story honestly) it's very much Not Good. But that’s why I’m removing him from the short and keeping him. In fact, go read polkadotjohnson’s fics on him, they’re fantastic and I adore how she wrote him. I someday wish to do my own, because otherwise everyone who can’t look past the Very Bad Writing Choices are getting straight up robbed of this one. Those double fangs need to introduce themselves to my neck pronto, you see what I’m saying? He’s so goddamn hot, DD needs to play a very serious vampire role again so everyone can see the Vision, he wants to do it, I need to win the lottery so I can fund this movie myself, that’s my new life’s goal.

3.

💘 Love of my Life - Jack Delroy (Late Night With the Devil)

The first movie I saw in theaters after my crush began! My friend saw him in a tweet about it and linked me to it so I thought it was already out, but I ended up having to wait two weeks and it nearly killed me ;w; I went in completely blind, which is good cause the trailer spoils so many great shots unfortunately, and the entire time I was swooning. Like, I usually whisper to my sibling during movies if we have comments, we’re very talkative at home when we watch stuff, but this time I was just sitting there staring with hearts in my eyes without pause. I’m in love with this man, plain and simple, I’m so glad I was able to get to see it since it didn’t come to the theater closest, we had to drive an hour away and when dad joked about me paying for the tickets since I was the one who wanted to see it, I did in a heartbeat. I wanted to see it again, but it was only there a couple weeks, so by the time I was able to go it was gone and I’m still upset about it. I’d sell my soul for this man, I love writing for him so much, I’m so glad my crush on Wojchek bloomed just in time for me to see this.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Hank (Virgin Alexander)

I avoided this one at first because the trailer was making me cringe and I was going crazy over what kinda sexy awkward role he’d have in it, but I was pleasantly surprised in the end. I think the movie is actually cute, despite some stuff still making me cringe, and Hank is literally the most perfect boyfriend. If he showed up randomly in my life I would date him in a second, hands down. He’s so shaped like a friend, I know I’d always have fun with him even when we’re not Having Fun, and that’s all you can ever ask for in a relationship 😊

🔥 Hottest Role - Breck Montanari (Double Black)

Okay first of all I gave him that last name. Second of all, I wrote 70k about this man and I am so in love with him that I own him now. I’ve taken him from Sara Woomer, he’s mine now. He has a full past, gave him a future and a partner, there’s no way I couldn’t have fallen in love with him. Unfortunately that fic will never be shared as it’s private, but know that, again, until Sara Woomer DMs me personally and shares everything else about this world, this is my new canon for him. And the cult. And the entire area where he lives. And several of the members. And the new Double Black who was such a chill dude that I made my bff love him too. This is my secret legacy. He only lost out to my #2 because there’s no way he couldn’t be my #2.

2.

💘 Love of my Life - Wojchek (The Last Voyage of the Demeter)

The reason I finally learned his name QwQ I went into this movie blind, dad really wanted to see it and I love horror so I went with him, and the second I saw him I said, ‘Oh that guy! I know that guy!’ since by then I’d seen Kurt and Abner a few years earlier and vaguely remembered him. I spent the whole movie then dreading his end thanks to the opening lines, and I’m pretty sure I quietly yelled at the screen when he fell and then got got after praying he’d be okay TwT After Abner, he’s the first DD role I ever shipped with, and when my crush officially restarted I ended up writing my entire plot for him and Addy that night before bed. I love him so much, he’s my jolly sailor bold who stole my heart by crying over the thought of having to lose his home. He’ll forever own a special place in my heart because of all this, I can’t imagine anyone else taking this spot.

🔥 Hottest Role - Murdoc (MacGyver 2016)

Murdoc was the first TV role of his I checked out after I saw as many movies as I could that interested me (mostly all the ones on Prime sans a couple, my collection was very very small by then) and the moment I saw him be mentioned I was ready to go. The Alice in Wonderland vague text, running and then getting shocked before falling two floors, showing up with that hair, I was not prepared for everything else they were about to throw at me. Murdoc is one of my most favourite characters now, he’s so much fun, I adore everything about him, I’ve only edited with him twice and written him once, but I need to do both so much more! This one is hot as fuck, he’s adorable, he loves his son, he’s got tools, he’s utterly sadistic, he’s a silly little guy. This is another Perfect Man, I cannot wait to decide on his plot with Addy because there’s too many fun possibilities I honestly might just make multiple.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Willy Cunningham (The Domestics)

Now… you might all be thinking… why the hell is this guy a #2 honourable mention in the face of all the others… and the answer is… I’m a freak 😀 I’ll never say, but my eyes were opened to him, and my god, I will literally never be the same. I just need him and that insanely feral energy okay, lemme have this.

1.

💘 Love of my Life - Abner Krill (The Suicide Squad)

The love that started it all, I think I fell for him the moment he walked outta his cell and got teased. The love I feel for him goes so deep, it only compares to one other, and whenever I work on my plot for him and Addy I always get choked up. The ultimate one who didn’t deserve what he got, I actually refused to watch the movie again after he died, straight up did not watch until my marathon started, and as soon as I saw him in that cell it all came back. I instantly fell back in love with him, and thus his Addy plot has the most love put into it to make sure he’s happy and safe. I thought that maybe there’d be another to win my heart as my marathon grew, but nope he’s still there sharing it with my other #1, and seeing him can instantly bring a smile to my face no matter how I’m feeling. 

After the movie I read the trivia again and my crush on DD himself began, so it’s all thanks to him and Wojchek that I’ve met the people I know today and have created so many things in such a short time. When I hit my lowest low in years I just sat at my desk and held the funko I have of him and just cried it all out, and it honestly helped me get out of that spiral. Thanks to him I now have a Polka-Dot Man collection (still missing one figure and maybe a signed print and poster 👉👈🥰) and if I could get a plushie of him to join the ton I already have I’d buy him in a second. Maybe someday, if I have any courage, I’ll bring my funko or something to a con where DD is attending and get it signed, either him or my other #1, and I’ll cherish it forever.

❣️ Honourable Mention - Jude (Animals)

Like all the others, I went into this movie completely blind. I didn’t know DD wrote it or its significance to him until after it was over and the credits rolled. So the entire time I was watching I was falling in love with him, he was so incredibly my type in the moments he was actually happy that it’s insane, I spent the whole movie just saying how much I would date him in better circumstances. We were sadly betting which one of them was going to die as things just got worse, me and my sibling were watching so miserably, and then we were rewarded with a happy ending despite the bittersweetness. And then the credits rolled, after me repeatedly wondering why he’d accept a role like this after knowing at least about his addiction and it all fell into place. I haven’t been able to watch again so far now that I know a lot of what happened to Jude also happened to him, it breaks my heart too much, but I still love him deep down and I hope he was also able to heal after the credits rolled.

🔥 Hottest Role - Johnson (Reprisal)

Tied for first with Abner as the ultimate love of my life and claiming this one all to himself, Johnson is the Most Perfect Man. Literally, no other DD role can top him in my heart aside from Abner. I honestly almost skipped Reprisal entirely because the promo image on his imdb didn’t grab me (I’m such a fake fan I’m so ashamed of myself), but when I was done with everything else and wanted to see more, I downloaded it without ep9 since he wasn't in it, and started watching. What followed next was me falling so in love with the show that I spent forever trying to get that missing episode back from near dead torrents cause I needed to watch it even though he wasn't in it. Reprisal is my Roman Empire, I am constantly thinking about it and him and Matty, not just for my fic but just because I love it all so fucking much. 

Johnson himself is so fascinating, I’m incredibly in love with him and everything about him, he’s unlike any other role DD has played that there’s a complete disconnect in my mind, he’s just Johnson. He’s so goddamn hot I missed out on literally everything the first round because I was watching him so hard, Matty and Ethan were nonexistent to me and I’m madly in love with Matty now so let that sink in, and when I rewatched it immediately after with my parents it was like I was watching for the first time. I’m loving writing for him (and Matty and Ethan of course) so much that my thoughts go back to him daily, and it almost always includes me being on the verge of tears because of how insanely good this script is and how these boys bring me so much joy while also shattering my heart. 

Making the gif below no joke did make me cry like this show is my greatest weakness right now you guys don't even understand how much it and Johnson mean to me.

I need to edit more for him and them and the show in general, if I had endless money and all the confidence in the world I would truly fund this show single handedly so it can finish the way it was supposed to. I’m so mad at Hulu for giving me the greatest love(s) of my life before taking him away years before I’d ever know him, with no physical media or merch to at least collect to numb the pain. At some point I need to get some promo pics printed out as actual posters, I need this show on my wall so I can always see him.

[sirfrogsworth]

Thoughts on Live Action Avatar: TLA

I'm sure people are going to hate this. Some for valid reasons. Some because of endless nitpicking that really has no bearing on how good or bad it actually was. Some because they have already chosen to hate it and it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But I always root for things to be good. I want them to succeed. And I always go into everything I watch with the hope and expectation it will be good. I turn off my critical brain and try to just experience the show for what it is. As I said, I saw no trailers. I read no reviews. I knew almost nothing about the production of this going in.

Initially, things were rough... buddy.

And I think that is a longstanding problem with live action TV shows in general. I am always reminded of Star Trek TNG and how it took two seasons (48 episodes) before they figured out what the hell they were doing. Back then shows were able to find their footing and grow and learn. Actors were given time to find their characters and understand them and finally become them.

But now, every show has to be amazing from the start or they get cancelled. And I think people have become very unforgiving of first seasons as well. I feel like not enough people consider the potential of something getting better. And I think that is a shame.

So, yes, Avatar started out rough. They tried to cram all of the exposition into the first 20 minutes. And that was unpleasant. The effects were jarring at first. It is incredibly difficult to translate animation into live action. And please don't say the CGI was "bad." It wasn't. There was just so much that needed to be packed into every frame of this show to make it work, and finding a way to make it all seamlessly blend is a monumental task. I think the artists did an amazing job with the constraints of essentially making an 8 hour movie in the time usually given a 2 hour one.

But as the show continued, the actors seemed more comfortable in their roles. The showrunners seemed to figure out what worked and what didn't. The quality across the board started to improve. Especially when they started to deviate a little bit from following the cartoon. I also noticed that the effects that were jarring in the beginning eventually stopped bothering me and breaking immersion. I got used to them and was able to just focus on the story. And I think they got a little better as well. The bending was much more convincing as the show progressed. And it was a bajillion times better than the slow-motion bending of that movie that shall not be named.

And by the final episode, I was all in. The Avatar monster was really cool. And I was crying my eyes out and having all kinds of emotions. And there were some changes they made to the story which I actually thought made more sense. And I was glad this show was doing a few things to differentiate rather than being an exact carbon copy.

It won me over.

And I know it won't do that for everyone. And perhaps I am forgiving a lot of sins just because I wanted it to be good. The original was my absolute favorite show of all time. I just liked spending time with these characters again.

But I liked it more than I didn't and I'm hoping that is the general consensus, but I fear that is not the case.

Things I really liked...

I thought the actor playing Sokka was really great. They didn't give him enough humorous material. But I think this kid absolutely nailed the role. And if this gets another season, I do hope he can show Sokka's lighter side a bit more.

Ken Leung also did amazing as Zhao. I think he surpassed his cartoon counterpart in villainy. I loved hating him.

The final battle was beautiful. I think they probably dedicated a lot of resources to that. Maybe at the expense of other things. But I think it was worth it to end strong.

In the first season of the cartoon, the trauma was often skipped over or kept very brief. I'm sure the idea of dealing with genocide and war time trauma was not an easy sell to Nickelodeon initially. But they did actually take the time to show some of that trauma, especially with Katara and Sokka. And I cried a bunch.

They seemed to go to considerable effort to have a diverse cast. I am glad they learned that lesson from the movie.

That said, they probably could have brought back Dee Bradley Baker to make the animal noises. This might have been an overcorrection...

I guess this will give the anti-wokesters something to complain about since the original was already super woke and it is probably a challenge to complain about the new thing being woke as well. Though I'm sure they are up to the challenge.

Things I didn't care for...

The compressed timeline caused a few stories to be combined and accelerated. I understand why that was necessary. But there were some important moments of character growth that got lost.

Sokka's missing sexism. I think it is much more useful to see someone grow and change and let go of their problematic traits than to pretend that never existed. Sokka's sexism was a symbol of the conservative views within water tribe culture in general. It was also foreshadowing for the conflict with Pakku (which was also minimized). I just think young viewers seeing a character overcome ingrained ideals has a greater influence than just erasing that aspect from the character.

Things I hated...

Princess Yue's hair. You get the amazing Amber Midthunder to play Yue, and she does an amazing job with extremely abbreviated screen time, but I couldn't stop staring at whatever that was they put on her noggin. I know I criticized people for nitpicking, but that was very distracting. I don't know exactly how it could have been done better, but I worry a great performance is going to get overshadowed by... hair.

In conclusion...

I think the people making this show loved the source material. I can see that love. I think they tried very hard to make the best show possible. And I also know they are probably going to get a lot of hate. I still haven't looked at the reviews because I didn't want to be influenced when writing this. But I can feel the review bombing as we speak.

But this was not a Witcher situation where the writers didn't respect the source material. This was displaying how incredibly difficult it is to convert one of the most beautifully animated shows in existence into live action. Maybe that is an argument for not making live action versions. Though I usually love them when they work and am happy both versions exist.

I really hope people can remember the original still exists and they can completely disregard this and watch the cartoon any time they wish. This doesn't have to "ruin their childhood." These two things can exist and everyone is perfectly capable of ignoring all of the live action material.

But I do hope this gets another season. I think that final episode showed the potential. I think the cast was getting comfortable in their roles and they deserve another chance to show what they can do.

I love Paul Sun-Hyung Lee and I think he was a great choice for Iroh. But Mako's shoes are probably the biggest shoes in the existence of shoes to try and fill. I do not envy the task he was given. But every once in a while I saw that Mako spirit come out in his performance and I think he could use another season to really find that and show us what he is capable of.

This felt a lot like The Phantom Menace to me. There was actually a ton of amazing stuff to love in that movie. But it didn't quite work the way the original movies did. But I think this was good enough to hope for the future.

[stressedemoblackbratz]

pretend

pairing: shuri x singer!black reader

warnings: swearing and fading relationship between reader and her boyfriend

a/n: as you can tell, i was definitely inspired by Zay’s own writing (the title has magically excused itself from my brain (i’m thinking lemonade, but i don’t wanna fuck up) my apologies, but i’m gonna blame that on finals). i loved the chapters and it inspired me to write something after a year. those euphoria requests wore me out lol. also, i don’t mention the death of anyone in this story. it didn’t happen…okay? okay! i might do a backstory to this? I’m not really sure, but we’ll see. i hope you enjoy babes!

words: 1.4k + not proofread

let's pretend we never met. a good excuse to play forget. let's pretend you never lied, so i can give it up all night, swallow my pride, and learn to forgive. when i'm looking for love i pretend it's you. a love that never ends.

the bed was cold, your lace band was on snug, and the food you cooked for your boyfriend of 2 years was cold.

and after all that damn cooking?

he could throw away the food and clean the dish he didn’t get to eat.

2 years and this was life. you used to bask in each others presence, go on dates, write poems together, make appearances, but now?

now you barely saw him because he was rehearsing lines with his new costar and you were trying to finish your album.

he didn’t look at you the same anymore, the house was cold, and those i love you’s we’re definitely empty.

you were perfect and just like that it was gone.

pretending like you were fine was the only thing you two had in common.

you remember one morning darius got a call stating he nailed his audition and filming would start soon. that night you two attended a movie premiere then at the after party you met t’challa and he introduced you to his sister, shuri.

now it was forced smiles on the red carpets, powdering your face after cry sessions, lying for him, and him avoiding questions about you slyly.

real enough.

now shuri, your producer for your upcoming 3rd studio album, she knew better.

she watched you write the songs, cry mid recording, consoled you when you came in with puffy eyes and swollen lips, fed you when you realized it had been some time between your last meal due to the fast paced life…she picked up the pieces.

and she hated it because she’s in love with you.

“okay! okay! but sza? ctrl literally raised me…sos is gonna eat.” you proclaimed to shuri one night after recording one song and touching up two others. it was crunch time and your label and fans wanted the album soon.

laughing at your seriousness she put the pho she had ordered down. the light you got in your eyes while speaking on the popular album was so cute to her.

you loved this shit as much as she did.

you were raw. letting each emotion out in each song and showcasing your life to shuri before showing it to those who supported you and your craft. you didn’t put on a facade in front of her even after you had been pretending for awhile.

“for me uh…” shuri paused to think after her giggles died down. she licked her bottom lip before flicking her eyes to yours. “definitely ego death by the internet. they raised me and i hope that their next album isn’t their last. i’d scream out to bast.” she started giggling again with you joining in.

two beautiful women discussing a mutual love.

“hey y/n. listen baby, i’m gonna be late, but i promise i didn’t forget.” you could hear aeva, darius’s costar, giggling in the back. “see you soon, love you.” he quickly said before the recording clicked in an ending.

according to him he wasn’t with her intimately, but you knew him. he was drawing away for awhile, way before this role. you wanted the peace of not caring or wondering what he was doing. wondering if what he once felt for you was what he felt for her just times ten.

in that moment, with tears in your bottom lash line and legs criss crossed sitting in the large black satin bed, you knew him coming home in a few hours, waking you up with sex and sorry’s you’ve learned not to believe wouldn’t cut it this time.

it hurt so bad to know that you were done.

it hurt more to know you gave up, not that the love died. you had already grieved on that. you tried so hard, but it takes two.

but you were so happy because you’d be able to address those growing feelings you had for a certain wakandan producer.

those feelings you suppressed to honor what was left of your expiring relationship.

all of that was over. you decided it.

climbing out of the king sized bed, you made your way to the bathroom. after cleaning up your face and sighing at the water clumped lash extensions, you decided you needed to shower to sooth the ache you felt simmer in your heart.

while rinsing the soap off of you, you realized your bedroom would make you feel suffocated. you needed to leave.

the only place close by though? shuri’s studio.

quickly drying off, moisturizing, putting on deodorant, and changing into a light pink crochet top, panties, black shorts, and the most beat up pair of crocs you owned, it was almost time to go.

a purse and jacket on one arm with your phone and keys in the other hand led you downtown.

shuri was up playing with beats. you needed one more song on the album before your label would review it and decide on the next steps.

she didn’t want the hard work you had done to not be cleared. this final beat would put you and her in the spotlight. this album was your baby and in a way, hers too.

she hadn’t heard griot announce your presence as she nodded her head to the beat, but she acknowledged your existence when she smelt your signature scent overwhelm her nostrils.

you definitely noticed her. she smelt so good and looked even better. her curls hung in front of her face, different vibranium rings across all 10 fingers, wearing low hanging sweats, and a tight beater that helped show off her lean, but muscular frame.

“y/n?” she called turning around. by the look of your eyes her heart dropped, but she could notice a different kind of look on your face compared to what she usually saw associated with that feature.

“what’s wrong, entle? kukho into ayenzileyo?” she asked stopping the beat, queuing a different track, and grasping your hands.

you smiled at her urgency. she was always so sweet to you.

“shuri you know i’m still learning. i only caught you calling me beautiful.” you teased with a smile. her heart didn’t feel as heavy anymore with that look. it wasn’t forced, just playful.

“kukho into ayenzileyo, i asked did he do something?” shuri said with a light smile and knowing eyes. yours darkened a bit before you looked away and contemplated on the best way to tell her.

“he promised he wouldn’t miss dinner again, he did and it’s because he wants to be with her.” shuri frowned at his actions.

“i can’t take this anymore so i’ve decided when he comes home i’ll let him know we’re done. i’m going to make sure he gets a good mover for his items and i find a good locksmith so he can’t come back.” you revealed. saying it out loud made you feel lighter.

“i’m giving it all up. i choose me and my happiness.” you whispered as she brought you into her chest. the slight jolt she endured as a result of you slamming into her made her bump the play button and start the last song you recorded together.

let’s pretend that we bout to break up…to catch the feelings so we can make up…

“i’m…i’m proud of you! this whole album was you baring it all and finding yourself…this might be the end of a chapter. you’re stepping into a new book.” shuri spoke to you. she was tired of picking up the pieces he broke. she was tired of seeing you try to fix them.

let’s pretend i ain’t your friend so we can get it on again.

“ndiyakuthandana.” she whispered her love to you.

so we can get it on again. let’s pretend we never met, a good excuse to play forget.

“nam ndiyakuthanda” you whispered right back.

i pretend it’s you…that i’m in love with…

a tattooed hand gripped the side of your face before shuri questioned you.

“you mean that shit?” she lowly whispered.

you looked into her dark eyes and thought about everything. the first session, your recent session, the parties, the conversations, the outings, the meals you ate together, the secrets you told, the feelings you shared, everything you’ve experienced with her or because of her you wouldn’t trade.

you did mean it.

a thousand times you’d say yes.

with a nod from you shuri lifted your head from her chest and kissed you.

she’s been waiting for it.

that kiss was one of many that night. clothes left on the soundboard, seven mixed calls and a few texts left from darius ignored, the sun started to come up, and a new life was brewing on the horizon.

pretending led you to what you really wanted.

shuri.

[hawkeye221b]

Hi, im going to ramble about my oldest, most special of interests and its going to be long so i'll be hiding it under a cut but just know i have been enabled by internet strangers and the fact that tumblr (to my knowledge) does not have a word limit. and if it does, i will be finding it.

So i'll try to organize the ramblings?? maybe?? we'll see how organized it is but honestly i just want to talk about Phantom of the Opera.

------------------

So to start my ramblings i will be talking about the musical and book; mostly because i think about the differences almost all the time (it is my roman empire)

For example; to my understanding there are those who don't like the book because they think it says she's 15 which.. isn't true. it came from the line of 'she was as pure as that of a 15 yr old' but if she was that old during the events of the book, then the childhood friendship with Raoul would be impossible since he'd be 5 yrs older than her- an 10yr old and a 5 yr old basically if the 15 thing was right.

Another example is the shifting roles.. if memory serves me right, Madame Giry didn't have much of an impactful or big role in the book, but the musical pretty much just cut out the Daroga and split his roles between her and the music box. and even then it changes- in the 2005 movie version, there;s the flashback to show madame Giry as a little girl, helping the Phantom (my mans Erik) escape- but in the 25th anniversary recording, she says that he vanished (presumably without her help)

(Complete side note but why did we even have Daroga erasure in the musical?? justice for the man who put up with Erik's shit for so long..)

------------------- Another thing i wanna kinda ramble on is how Erik is almost always being exploited or used and its fascinating to analyze cause like.. i mean:

he was born with a deformity; he was shunned for it and cast aside and mocked openly

but he was a prodigy. mastermind in many different ways

and yet people took advantage of him- of his desperation as he grew cause no one wanted to be near or associated with what they considered a freak

they benefited and he was used because what else was there for him?

in the 2005 edition he kills because he was pushed to it!! to protect himself!! he was a child then!! a child shown as a freak and abused for people to laugh at!! ofc he was gonna snap! and since no one taught him right and wrong ofc he'd fall back on that defense mechanism whenever he wanted or needed something. its the safest thing he has!!

and in the other variations, its still similar. iirc he was highly under paid and unaccredited for his work. cause no one wanted to admit he was behind the success they benefited from.

and then he finds an orphan girl, come to live in the opera house. a soul broken as he was. and she longs for guidance, and he longs to teach someone. so they find solace in one another.

in my mind they both have delusions and dissonance with one another. he mistakes her friendship for love because no one told him the difference. and she mistakes him as the ghost of her father. its unhealthy yeah but they're both unhealthy people.

and then Raoul comes into her life once more. a reminder of the good in her childhood and the phantom panics cause hes about to lose something he hasn't had before. so he begins to lash out because he doesn't know better

and then.. and then!! because she goes to Raoul, its a betrayal all over again

even if she doesn't mean it the way he sees, she's still benefiting from his work. benefiting from his time in teaching her without credit. without praise or recognition.

in leaving him behind, she's become like the rest of them in his eyes- exploiting him for his talents while rejecting him for how he looks

Honestly i have more thoughts but i think this is really long already and the brain is wanting to over brain so like.. yeah. i love this story and i want to blorb about it all the damn time this is my roman empire

[merp-blerp]

Some Tincrow Moments From The Wiz Production I Just Saw While It’s Fresh In My Mind

Note: I had never seen the stage version of The Wiz before last night, so I could be missing things and points. Also, my memory might be just a bit fuzzy on exact details, but I know this stuff mention did indeed happen at some point.

Avery Wilson was Scarecrow and Phillip Johnson Richardson was Tinman. They absolutely killed it. Everyone did. I’m going to need a cast album and pro-shot please!

Scarecrow is a dance God once they get him off the poll in time for “You Can’t Win”. Why they kept Michael Jackson on a damn poll in the movie despite the fact that his dance moves would've been really cool for Scarecrow, I’ll never know.

This is the first direct Oz retelling I’ve seen to give Scarecrow a human backstory (Wicked is more of/better off seen as it’s own thing in my opinion). He was once a scientist who got his brain taken by one of the witches and turned into a Scarecrow. I don’t remember if it’s mentioned if he had a family in this show—it might’ve not been—but if he did I guess he would’ve completely forgotten because he “has no brain”. And I might be wrong, but I think it was mentioned he had a name too, but if so I don’t remember it. I find that interesting and fun to play with, especially if one would be able to compare and contrast that with Nick Chopper’s backstory (and/or whatever the Tinman’s name might be in this version of Oz; guy collects names like candy). I would have to see The Wiz again in order to do that myself, but you know, I like the idea.

Tinman’s backstory is slightly different. He was too gay and sassy for his own good, saying one of the witches was a “rusty” singer, causing her to turn him from a lumberjack into a “heartless” Tinman who gradually lost almost all of his memories outside of the mere fact that he once had a family due to this curse. He thinks he doesn’t have a heart because he can’t remember the ones he loved, just that he used to. Nimmie Amee isn’t a part of his story in this show. That’s about as tragic as the backstory Baum gave him, if not worse.

Give me an angst with a happy ending AU where Tinman and Scarecrow knew each other as humans but both forgot due to their curses, only to rediscover each other through their found families. Imagine Scarecrow having Nimmie Amee’s original role in a way—noooo—

Scarecrow mimicking Tinman’s rusty dance moves while they oil him (he mimicked a lot of people throughout the show—Dorothy, the wizard’s announcers calling his name, maybe etc., so I guess it was just his cute little thing).

When Dorothy’s trying to convince the gang to bring Lion along Tinman says “Are you sure? We already have to bring Captain Brainless?” (or something a lot like that, I'm paraphrasing), thinking they had too many already as if his husband wasn't first in line on the journey before him, only for Scarecrow to say, “I’m captain?!?!” *Insert cute happy head waggles* (Hits different when you know Scarecrow becomes the ruler of Oz after the first book till Ozma’s found, but his leadership wasn't mentioned in The Wiz so maybe that's not on purpose) I adore Avery Wilson’s take on Scarecrow. Tinman has always been my favorite of Dorothy’s friends if I had to pick one, but Wilson’s performance really made Scarecrow stand out even more than usual. I don’t know if I can explain it, it might just have to be seen; pray there’s a slime tutorial out there.

Lion’s kinda gay too, but in solo. And I know Ozma’s not here, so there’s not really any evidence for Dorothy’s queerness… but she is—I can feel it in my lesbian soul, okay!?!?

All of Dorothy’s friends not only want their gifts, but don't see the point in their existences without them. It made me sad for them.

I don’t know where to mention it, but Toto’s not in this show at all—poor guy. EDIT: I just learned that in the original production, Toto was played by a white dog as a joke that there was an all-black cast as opposed to him traditionally being a black/brown dog with a white cast. That is hilarious—why didn't they recreate that???

Tincrow’s only straight-feeling moment is with them both being distracted by the poppies (which caught me off guard in this show because traditionally Scarecrow and Tinman are the only ones not affected by the poppies because they’re not flesh and blood like Dorothy, Lion, and Toto; in this Dorothy was the one to break everyone free from them. I’ve been trying to understand the purpose of this change. Maybe to give Dorothy a bit more agency). The poppies were these sensual flower ladies trying to convince the gang to be lazy, which on it’s own is a fun twist on the flowers that put Dorothy and Lion to sleep. But hey, maybe that makes it not straight, just lazy. I'm all for Bi4Bi Tincrow too.

After the Kalidahs attack they comfort and hype each other and Dorothy up (Dorothy’s their sapphic adopted daughter, in this essay, I will—).

I forget when exactly this happens, maybe during the Kalidahs scene, but at one point they casually cling to each other's arms for no(?) reason. They just met and they’re already married.

Scarecrow backup-singing a little before everyone else joins Tinman during “What Would I Do If I Could Feel” (at least at my showing, I don’t know if this is a regular occurrence as a part of the show or just something that happened to happen at mine).

Making fun of the Wicked Witch together, calling her smelly, and having Lion join in. Bros, that’s what got you in trouble to begin with—messing with a dang witch!

Interestingly, the idea of Dorothy’s friends having they’re gifts all along isn’t here. Instead, it’s implied that after they kill the last wicked witch the curse is mostly lifted, with Tincrow’s gifts returning to them, but they stay a scarecrow and tin-man for some reason. I like to think they still had them all along though, that idea’s too cute and sweet for me to let go of.

The last time we see them they leave the stage together, Lion going ahead of them to reunite with his mom. I can’t explain why this feels important to me. I guess because usually characters exit the stage individually as like a goodbye queue to the audience, knowing that that last step off the stage will detemand the last impression of the characters. So the fact that the last impression of both of them is them together feels special. Or maybe it’s just me.

They both had such sassy black queer vibes the whole time. The show itself already has such sass, but both of them, Scarecrow especially, were oozing it in different fonts. They were giving off bear x twink—or maybe otter couple vibes.

Gay or not, The Wiz is so great! I recommend it so much!

[badventist-petite]

so my poor poor mutuals and followers have been dealing with my bruce greenwood obsession for a better part of a year now and i'm so sorry but it's not stopping anytime soon i think

it all started when i binged the entirety of the resident in a week and a half this time last year and said to myself "ughhh i loooooove bruce greenwood, why have i been neglecting him for so long?" 😭😭😭

and in so doing, i found myself back here on tumblr, which led to aos boyce/pike fanfic (shoutout @ofsmokenandgold's "weight of a man" series and @gracieminabox's "the way our horizons meet" series. completely altered my brain chemistry they're both sooooo good)

which led to me going down the rabbit hole of watching everything he's in, stuff i've seen and stuff i haven't seen. i'm not even close to watching everything but i may or may not have created a spreadsheet breaking down how much he's on-screen in the stuff that he's in. because i'm a freak. (but at least @lizzy0305 supports me in this endeavor)

EXAMPLE: he's in the film "Flight" with Denzel Washington, he's plays an old friend of his but he's also the rep for the pilots' union. the film is 138 minutes long, and Bruce is on-screen for roughly 27 of those minutes. which comes out to about 19.5 percent.

the shows are going to be a pain in the ass to calculate. like The Resident. even though he's credited in all 100-something episodes, he's not actually in every single episode

St. Elsewhere is also going to suck because i don't really care for that show AT ALL. 😬 (that show has both bruce and mark, not at the same time sadly, but it still can't hold my attention, i really tried)

and that led to "hey i'm gonna watch some NCIS, i need a reference point for my guy phil boyce in these fics" because iykyk 😏 and then i somehow ended up watching THIRTEEN SEASONS ( @bowserbabe don't laugh at me.) i didn't really watch it too much back in the day but i somehow still shipped kate/gibbs because of course i did 👀 and also watching some of mark harmon's other stuff because he is also very very pretty (like prince of bel-air, he is SO EFFING GORGEOUS in that dumb movie, i love it. i'm probably gonna rewatch it soon. and i just watched the presidio again yesterday, a classic!)

and then i found some stuff of theirs on youtube; sleepwalkers with bruce and a young naomi watts and also surprise! jeffrey d. sams. it was very unfortunately cancelled after six episodes, i liked it so much! and reasonable doubts with mark and marlee matlin but the pilot is the only full ep that i've found on youtube... i really gotta find the rest of those eps. that show got 2 seasons so that's better.

speaking of youtube, i follow some comics youtubers and they also like polls over there. one was "outside of kevin conroy, who is your favorite batman voice actor?" options were: troy baker, jensen ackles (i think), roger craig smith, and of course bruce greenwood. so that's who i vote for, not just because i want him to win the poll (he didn't but he was in 2nd place) but because i do actually feel that he's the 2nd best after kevin.

then i came across another youtube poll asking "what's your favorite justice league animated film?" choices were: "justice league: new frontier", "justice league: doom", "justice league dark: apokolips war", and "justice league: crisis on two earths". and so i voted for crisis on two earths (and it was the clear favorite of the poll). y'know.. the one with james woods as the evil batman couterpart, owlman. he was so good in that role. he's so good as villains in general. probably because he is an actual villain irl so it's not really acting for him.... oh and also mark harmon as superman, no biggie. kinda wish he did it a few more times, he was pretty good.

so after pondering for a little bit and putting two and two together, now my brain is like, wait... huh... i want that 👀👀👀 i want bruce as batman and mark as superman.

and i do kinda ship batman/superman sometimes. 'cause why not? they're cute. and all of the fanart here on tumblr doesn't help! it's so good

i want art of this. i'd do it myself but i can't draw for shit, i'm just not talented in that way

so someone draw that for me, please? i'll give you money and find all of the reference photos you'd ever need. probably more than you'd ever want.

i don't know about a particular art style, it just has to obviously be those two guys? i guess it couldn't be an action scene because i want to actually see that it's bruce's face under the cowl so maybe they're hanging out in the batcave or fortress of solitude after some crime-fighting. or maybe they're out and about as bruce and clark in metropolis or something? nah, i want them in uniform but no cowl on bats! and it doesn't have to be shippy either (but i wouldn't say no 😁😁😁)

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #314

Brain Curds are lightly edited daily writing - usually flash fiction and sometimes terrible on purpose.

Experiment in progress. Refer to case logs.

I quietly closed the front door behind me to keep from waking anyone up, but Pops was already awake.

“Good morning,” he said, lowering his newspaper. “Strange to see you up this early.”

“Isn’t it?” I agreed, pulling another pastry from the paper bag in my hand. “I picked you up a bran muffin.”

He folded up the newspaper and set it aside, then took a deep breath. “Trevor, can you take a seat for a moment?”

My heart began racing. I gulped. “So no bran muffin?”

He just stared at me. I nervously wobbled over to the chair across from him and sat down, my heart in my stomach and my stomach in my esophagus.

He put his hands together. “I don’t want to make any assumptions, but I’ll be honest: I already have. Trevor, what happened last night?”

Fuck. He must have heard me yelling. How much did he hear? There was a long silence, and no matter how hard I tried to speak, I couldn’t fill it.

“We established from the beginning that your father isn’t allowed in this house. And I’m not mad at you, Trevor, especially not if he barged in. This isn’t your fault. I just need to know what happened, because if he threatened you, we need to tell the police.”

Suddenly a weight was lifted from my lungs. He wasn’t even close. He must not have been able to make out anything I said. This was an opportunity, but I needed to think fast. Not that thinking fast was necessarily easy now that I’d been awake for twenty hours.

I mimed surprise. “Oh, you think…? No, no, he wasn’t here. Did you hear something?”

“I heard yelling.”

“I’m really sorry about that. I just got really worked up practicing my lines.”

“Lines?”

“Yeah, uh… I wanted to keep this a surprise, but I’m thinking of auditioning. So I was practicing my monologue.”

“Auditioning? For what?”

“The theatre department’s newest production.”

“Which is…?”

Uh oh. I didn’t know that one. I’d just painted myself into a corner. Speaking of corners, in the corner of my eye, I could see Celeste flipping through papers.

She whispered in my ear: “Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang”

“Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang, of course. I’ve never seen the movie, but I think I’ve got some talent. You were really convinced I was yelling? And on the verge of tears?”

He was flabbergasted. “Yeah, I was.”

I smiled. “Great! I am so getting this part!” I clenched my fist and pumped it in the air.

“The lead?”

“Uh, yeah, well… aim for the moon, yadda yadda yadda. They probably won’t give the lead role to the new guy. I’m mostly just throwing my resume in the pile, so to speak.”

He was still skeptical. I forgot something.

“Oh, and sorry for leaving the knife on the counter like that. I used it to pry up the ice cream lid and forgot to wash it.”

His shoulders relaxed and he smiled. “No problem. I’m just glad you’re okay. Is that bran muffin walnut or pecan?”

I let out a sigh of relief when I closed my bedroom door behind me. “Thanks for the help, Celeste. I would have been screwed.”

“Don’t mention it,” she said, her hands behind her head as she sat in my desk chair. “The whole timeline might have been screwed if I didn’t give you that info.”

“Really?”

“I don’t know, man. Maybe. I’m grasping at straws at this point.”

“And I’m running on fumes.” I sat down on my bed. It was the softest bed in the world. “I can’t wait to go to sleep again.”

“Four more hours,” she said. “Just four more hours.”

My phone rang. I looked at Celeste. “This isn’t y​ou again, is it?”

She held up her arms. “Do you see a phone in my hand?”

I looked at the caller ID. Dad. I picked up.

He was already in the middle of a sentence, panicking. “Please, please, please, you’ve got to talk to him! You’ve got to help me!”

“What? Slow down! What’s going on?”

“Why are you acting like you don’t know? I’m getting kicked out! We all are!”

Oh, good. Five minutes was too long to go without my internal organs doing backflips.

Please comment, reblog, like, and follow if you enjoyed - I'd love to know what you think! See you again tomorrow.

[beomiracles]

"C'mon dollface, we can work this out."

???

😭

I would actually fall for that?

Yeah okay, so, welcome back criminal conscience my love my goddess 🖤

I actually read raya's commentary (I beg to differ—I think I'm your biggest fangirl /joking raya ily) and I feel the same too :( it's ... sad. Maybe because we read the old version. Maybe when I read the old cc, I was too immersed in the story as the mc that I denied all the hints of Beomgyu's "bad signs" because the mc never saw him doing it, right? Except for the cheating part of course, which she also denied that he was cheating because she didn't actually see him had sex, and that they weren't official anyway. So my point is, to me, the new tape one feels like a big slap, a confirmation of what Choi Beomgyu is, in the perspective of the mc.

Anyway! Beomgyu's charm still working on me because till now I still hope for the story to reveal more of his true self, which I hope is indeed not as bad as he seems to be. I mean, when they met again, Beomgyu didn't insult or make sexual jokes about her even though they had good times together. The only suggestive comment he threw was :

“Well certainly not the ones we used to make.” The mockery made your skin crawl and you fought back the insults surfacing as you clenched your jaw.

And he did say "we" not "you" 😃 If he only used her for pleasure back then, would he still refrain from degrading her in front of her coworker? Don't bad guys like him only see women as bitches? But the mc was not one for him, right? Yes I adapt to the stupid mc brain for this story 🥰

He’s silent as he waits for you to answer, but when you merely avoid his gaze and sip on your drink, he chuckles. The laugh is pulled from deep within his chest and it sounds raspy when it rolls off his tongue. Beomgyu leans back, running a hand leisurely through his long hair. “Hard to charm I see.”

It's also amazing how the mc didn't instantly give out her name, even as far as ignoring his question without a word. I love that paragraph. She was cautious (and that is more visible than in the old version), but his gravity was too strong.

I kind of regret that you decided not to keep the "I'll keep you" line, but yea I trust you, we'll see how the story progresses 🙂‍↕️

I feel like I still have a lot to say but I don't know what to say anymore and it's already so long I'm sorry 😭 Finally, thank you for the meal Serenee ily 🫶

- 💫

my lovely 💫 nonnie !!

oh my god I love this observation? honestly when I wrote and reread it I never viewed it as "angsty" (?) then again I'm holding all the cards and I know what's going to happen and I see right through Beomgyu like, all the time. but I suppose it's like watching a movie for the second time, you pick up on so many new details, and yes, I think the warning flags are made much clearer in this one lol !

and you caught onto the part about the sexual jokes oh em gee !! his character is really tricky to write because on one hand he needs to play a certain role that makes him who he is, but then there also needs to be a small malfunction in his personality caused by mc...

yes!! mc's caution is more palpable here I think, which is something I think is very important and something that I disregarded in the previous version, safe to say I'm a lot prouder of this one !!

oh and as for the "I'll keep you" line, I debated long and hard on wether to keep that in or not. it felt awkward, wattpad-y almost, then again it was powerful? still I felt like it was doing "too much" for the first tape, so I held off, heh :3

stoppsps I love you so much 💫 nonnie, u're the light of my life fr :(

[ybetzarts]

random question, what draws you to knuckles as a character? do you have a favourite version of him?

Okok...bear with me, I have to start from the beginning..

I first encountered Knuckles during the time when he was mostly portrayed as, as they described him, a character merely for comedic relief. I watched the boom series back in 2015 and so my first impression of him was that he was an all-brawn-no-brain kinda guy. I found him funny, i guess...i had no clue back then. To explain why i didnt bother to do any research, here are some screenshots of my response on IG...(see below the break)

I was a shallow "fan". I find the sonic casts' design interesting and fun to look at. At that time, that was enough...

1. What drew me into Knuckles then?

I'll get into that, but first...The 2nd movie...The only reason i gave Sonic(by Sonic i meant the whole franchise) a chance was because i saw how Knuckles was portrayed in the 2nd Sonic movie. Very different from what i knew of him at that time.

I began researching about him, after watching the movies. There was something. Yea, i was on an info hunt of just about the guy for months! Along the way tho, i also discovered a ton of things about Sonic, the cast, etc. BUT, i was mostly so eager to know about Knuckles. Then man! There was so much to know about the guy...He wasnt just that all-brawn-no-brain type of guy. Those character analysis videos of Knuckles explained a lot of things about him. He's the most interesting of the cast(for me)---his personality(Most of all), his backstory, his sacred duty, being the last of the echidnas, angel island as his home, what's left of his kind(relics, tech, architecture, art, etc.), so much to unpack...and YET there were almost nothing said about them??? The mysteries about the guy continues. Lots of angles to look into his character.

Hmm... I also realized that there were many ways to interpret(?) Knuckles. The tons of fanfiction you can make about the guy, tons of ways to do headcanons about him---one can look at him through his duty as a guardian, through him being a warrior, through his ancestors--and then recently in Frontiers--through the hidden and long lost and forgotten structures within angel island, also, through the M.E. and through the power that resides in the M.E. Am I making sense even???

[I should say that i liked a lot of these things first, before i even liked Knuckles for his design LOL (gawsh, those times when i struggled drawing the dude. I was so eager to learn how to draw him. Usually i would have given up, but surprisingly i didnt), and the "why did he have to be RED" XDD I didnt like red, until Knuckles...] His personality drew me in at first, then came all of these things...

About his personality/character...I can really relate to that. I also happen to like characters who are tough on the outside and are good (not exactly gentle) in the inside LOL. Knuckles looks so tough, immovable as a mountain, but deep down, he's carrying a lot. Rarely or almost never opening up. I can only imagine him as he got older, him thinking like

"No one will be left to take care of the island after I'm gone anyway...so why should i even bother? I could be doing something else, I could be anywhere, I could make use of what time ive been given, of what time i have left."

*proceeds to chuck them thoughts away* Then just like that, back to guarding duty again, still feeling loyal and determined to fulfill his role, and to who knows until when...

For that, Knuckles is the only fictional character that ive come to genuinely like and become interested in. So much so that i got out of my demotivated-uninspired-artist-prison and began drawing again, and for the fun of it!🌟💥

2. As for my favorite version of him?

My gosh! um, currently Renegade, I suppose??? Man, this is hard gah! Theres always something to like about every version of Knuckles. The Knuckles version in my head, the one i created after consuming a ton of Knuckles info, yea i also like that version LOL XDD🌟

[madsworld15]

Been doing a lot of thinking these last few days. Read: I’ve been doom spiraling, and when I do that, my brain thinks about Ryan Kelley.

TL;DR: One fan's bond with the actor Ryan Kelley.

My friends, and Twitter followers know the story but I want to write it out here so I can always go back to it when I’m feeling down on myself.

I first met Ryan Kelley at HowlerCon in NJ in 2015. That year it was my first ever con so I was beside myself anxious. However, I got a photo op with Ryan because I’d loved him for years, since he was in Prayers for Bobby. That photo op didn’t turn out well, but I was proud of myself for actually doing it. That whole weekend I barely said ten words to him.

So, 7 months later in June 2016, when I saw him again at HowlerCon, I really expected Ryan to not recognize me at all. Instead, he grinned really big and said he was so happy to see me come back. He asked me for my name and smiled really big as he repeated it back to me. I had a meet and greet with him later that day, so we parted ways.

At the meet and greet, I was given the opportunity to ask a question. I asked him how hard it was to get into character for Bobby considering how morose the character always was and what ultimately happened to him. Ryan was so generous with his response and seemed genuinely happy someone had asked him about this movie.

At the end of the meet and greet I approached him directly and asked him if I could hand him something I had written for him. He told me sure, and I scrambled in my bag to find the letter. As I handed it to him, I conveyed that I was grateful he answered my question about Prayers for Bobby since it was such an important film for me. He returned the sentiment saying it was one of the most important roles he has ever done.

Later on that night, there was a party where the cast and fans could dance together and have a good time. I went, despite my anxiety, and I ended up finding Ryan on the edge of the crowd just watching. I was about to leave myself, having already used up all my social spoons, but a part of me told me I should go and talk to him. So I did. We ended up having a wonderful conversation about observing the world around us and about being from big families. He talked a bit about how his parents adopted a ton of kids, and I talked about how I had been adopted myself. Something shifted between us that day, and whatever the cause, I'm grateful it did.

The next day at his autograph session, he asked me if I was feeling better today. Then he held my hand as he signed for me, and I explained that I had anxiety which sometimes got in the way of me enjoying things. For the first time ever, Ryan wrote me a message on the image he signed for me, and he thanked me for coming.

HowlerCon convened again in June 2017, which was billed as being the last one. It made sense, considering that, at the time, the show was coming to a close. When they had announced their guests for that final year I kept waiting and waiting for them to announce Ryan's name. He was a staple for the con. So I knew he'd be attending, but as more and more got announced, I was certain he wasn't going to make it. But then, on April 21st, the con announced he was one of their Bonus Guests. I didn't see the announcement initially, but one of my con friends tagged me in a tweet response, saying they just knew I would be beside myself with that announcement.

I was excited, but then a confluence of events happened in my personal life that pushed that con completely from my mind until a few weeks before it was scheduled to happen. I bought all the photo ops with Ryan I could afford (resulting in a total of 3 different poses) and an autograph ticket along with a ticket to his meet and greet.

That year, I was excited and sad all at the same time. Ryan and I had many opportunities to talk and joke. His presence was a balm that I desperately needed at that time, considering the insanity of my life. He never once judged me for things I said or did, even if I bet more money than I should on an auction for a bobblehead of his character. When I didn't win the bobblehead, he asked his handler to come find me in the crowd and come up to him. He then hugged me and told me he appreciated the support I always showed him.

That year, I asked Ryan to write out the words: Be Your Own Anchor so that I could get them tattooed on me for my birthday. (A few months after this con, I did just that.) He joked that he wasn't a fan of tattoos himself, but if that was what I wanted, he would do it. Since I had two autograph tickets, Ryan also signed our photo op and wrote me the following message:

So glad I got to spend this weekend with you. XOXO (his signature)

Then, over the next couple of years, I would post something on Instagram related to him or Parrish and tag him, and he would like the post or comment in some way. I even remember sending him a message on Instagram during one of my low grief periods after my Pop died and when my Nana was dying of cancer. He responded and basically told me that I mattered and I wasn't a nobody.

Then came the COVID-19 lockdown. I had an excess of money because I was getting the government stipend while also being on unemployment because daycares weren't able to open during that time. So, when an auction came up to have a 15-minute Zoom call with Ryan, I leaped at the chance and won the auction.

When he came on the screen, he told me. "Let me ask you questions since I'm sure you don't have any for me." So, our conversation centered on my job -- which at the time was working for daycare and my TV critic side gig. He was very interested in my TV critic gig and I admitted to him that I reviewed his Christmas movie. He asked me who paid me to watch it.

All in all, it was a great time, and then the next day, the organizers of the event asked me for my Twitter handle. I assumed it was for promotional reasons, so I gave it to them. The next day I was driving home from work and had pulled over to get gas when I saw I had a notification that Ryan Kelley had followed me. Then a few moments later, he sent me a message letting me know that my positive attitude about the stuff we were going through really inspired him, and he was grateful that we got the chance to connect again.

I didn't talk to Ryan much over the next few years, an occasional message back and forth on Instagram or Twitter, but nothing major. Then Howler Reunion happened in June 2022, and I realized there were some things I had to tell Ryan. For one, in the time since we had last spoken I had come out to the world as non-binary and had changed my name. I knew he would be very gracious about it all, but still, I worried.

It came to the day of my duo photo op with Ryan Kelley and Linden Ashby. I had decided I would come out to both of them because my bond with Linden had always been like he was a father to me. So, I wore my Asexual pride shirt and my non-binary colored flannel and hoped for the best. My dear friend Lori, who helped run the con, went with me for moral support.

I don't remember exactly what I said to them, but I do remember that I told them afterward that this photo op was a "Pride" one so they could act proud of me. Linden reassured me that there was no acting necessary because he was proud of me. Ryan just squeezed me close to him in a side hug. Seeing the photo result, I am forever grateful that I chose to come out to Ryan because the way he looks at me in this photo is hard to describe, but gives me so much comfort to this day.

The rest of the weekend went by in a blur. I do remember at my individual photo op with Ryan he asked me to explain the reasoning behind my new name. He said he had always been able to remember my old name because it was the same as his mom's and that I reminded him of her in personality and my kind nature. (cue the tears seriously) I explained to him the history behind my adopted name and how I wanted to keep a piece of that even with a more gender-neutral name so I had shortened my middle name to what is now my first. I then explained to him that it was so wonderful hearing him say my new name out loud because I felt like he was an extension of my family and that no one in my immediate family had been willing to use it yet, at least not at that point. He looked so concerned for me that my own mom wasn't being respectful at the time, and he pulled me into another hug.

That afternoon there was a final panel with the whole roster of guests. We could stand at the mics and ask questions if we wanted to, but I just wanted to thank Ryan one more time for his kindness. So, I did.

Later on in the panel, the guests were asked about a project they've done that they are so proud of. Ryan got on the mic and talked about how he knew one of his projects meant the world to a couple of his fans, and then he found me in the crowd, and we locked eyes, and it meant the world to him to know that because it was a project, he was extremely proud of himself.

Then, later on, we had an autograph session and his handler, a new one from previous years, looked up at me and asked my name. Ryan grinned and said, "Don't need it. Mads and I go way back." Then he gave me a wink and said Mads again. I told him that it had been an extremely rough time for me since the Summer of 2018. And that it helped to have my tattoo, which I then showed him, that he'd written because it reminded me to stay grounded. Then, Ryan grabbed my arm, covered my tattoo with his hand, and looked me in the eye.

"I know you think you needed me to be strong. But you are strong all on your own. It's inspiring."

I then handed him a custom Funko Pop I had made of Parrish, and he got emotional and thanked me for such a beautiful gift. When we said goodbye, I told him that I was grateful for all the kindness he had always shown me and that I would miss him. At the time I was certain we would never see each other again because I couldn't afford to travel to Europe where he frequents cons on the regular.

"This isn't goodbye. You are stuck with me for life."

I know Ryan was being kind and probably as honest as he hoped to be but I know despite our shift in bond, Ryan is still an actor and I'm still just a fan. But, our bond is definitely unique and one of a kind.

There are some days I still look at the evidence in front of me and believe that I made it all up in my head. That none of it ever happened.

[georgiapeach30513]

Hi there! Long time no see (🤡widow Cole anon*)

I see we are once again talking about Ghosted, well at least semi. My theory for his rut and his lost of energy during this past few years is actually Ghosted.

Cause I keep thinking about it and I have a longer theory that’ll make seem like Charlie from Always Sunny and I know you don’t want to mention THAT so here’s the smaller rundown.

I highly suspect that Ghosted was supposed to be his Project Headliner of the shift in his career. I believe that Ghosted wasn’t a contractual obligation but a contractual perk from Apple. A movie that he could get assemble to prove he’s got what it takes to make a successful movie behind the scenes.

From the interviews that came out from the cast and Chris. Chris was the main guy at the helm of it.

Firstly, Dex had mentioned that Chris was signed onto the project before him. Both he and Ana mentioned that Chris called her for the part once Scarlet left and Scarlet was working with Chris and Dex beforehand too.

Secondly, Both Dex and Ana were promoting the release a ton before release and yet Chris wasn’t. I know during the time everything coming out about it was saying it was bad but you would think that the lead would still be contractually obligated to promote the movie like his costar and director, wouldn’t you ? Especially cause by that point, we’ve come to expect practically zip from Apple themselves in terms of advertisements. Unless of course, he didn’t have that type of contract?

Thirdly, why a romcom and not the Gene Kelly project? Simple, ROMCOM CHRIS! Can’t completely be sure on the straight side of the fandom but at least in the gay Chris fandom we were rooting for a return for romcom Chris with an out actor name Zane Phillips. But yes I did see Romcom Chris edits from posted religiously before Ghosted (specifically Colin Shea and Harvard Hottie); now not so much.

Finally, the infamous GQ article… what movie was mentioned? What movie was the one seemed to have the most impact on our guy? What movie made sense for the direction the interview seemed to go for?

That’s right, Ghosted! Logically you’d think they’d use the Pain Hustlers as an upcoming project to talk about since it was before the strike and it’d be a sly lil advert. But if my guess is correct, I think if Ghosted was successful as it was hoped. Then we would’ve got something kind like “Hunky Heartthrob Chris Evans Box Office Success Revives Romcoms!” Instead of and, excuse my pessimism, “Chris Evans Doesn’t Need Hollywood (*Too Rich to Strike*).

There wasn’t really much in that magazine but it seemed like it would have been a good time to talk about how this may have been a passion project he really took the helm and brought to life from conception to execution. Then either mentioning his upcoming serious role in Pain hustlers or more than likely talking about the real passion project Gene Kelly.

So we’d go from Chris Evans the actor-> Chris Evans the producer-> Chris Evans the Director (time for Gene Kelly). At least that’s my thinking. There’s more but again, I respect your blog and the banned topics.

And to end this on a lighter note, *STOP GIVING AWAY MY MAN, THAT POWER OF THE LAND IS MINE!* 😭

Hey!! You made it back anon!!!

So I can see your theory, but I think the Gene Kelly project was prematurely mentioned in order to distract from something else at the time 😬 I don't think he intended on putting a brain idea out there before he had anything tangible to say it was moving forward, but alas, sometimes you make people look in one direction, so you ignore what's going on in another direction.

I think Ghosted had a lot of issues, and some you mentioned. I still think it's odd that Chris didn't promote this project more than he did. During filming he showed behind the scenes photos and videos, and then it was silence. He didn't want to touch it again. Dex I'm not sure was the best director for the project. Ana definitely wasn't the best as a romantic costar. Her acting on the project seemed to be way to serious, on top of such an odd direction.

Let me go ahead and say, even though I talk a lot of shit about Ghosted, I don't hate it. I've seen it several times, but I can acknowledge the weaknesses from the cast, director, and even the script. Can we normalize straight men not writing romcoms??

But I do agree your theory did seem to be a way to progress him into something a bit more serious behind the camera.

Thank you for respecting my no talking zones here 🖤🖤 I'm sorry for trying to give away your man. I feel you need to have an emoji at this point.

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future: The Animated Series, s01ep06 "Go Fly a Kite" Review and Commentary

Link to previous episodes HERE

You know, I'm really having a blast writing up these posts. A big thank you to those of you who are reading these. Glad you're enjoying them.

In this episode: Electricity ceases to exist because Verne thinks he's adopted. Also, Marty is the Smart One for 2 and a half seconds.

We get a fun little surprise in this episode, which starts with a clip from the first BTTF film! It's a quick one, but we get to see the lightning striking the clock tower and Marty traveling back to 1985. Prior to this, we haven't gotten any footage from the movies woven into the episodes, so that's neat. Of course, its inclusion is due to electricity playing a big role in today's episode.

After the clip, we go to Real Doc in his lab, who continues to barely blink during these segments. If you've been keeping up with these posts, you're aware of my concern for Animated Series Real Doc. He's like Movie Doc but turned up 5 or 6 extra notches. There is a frantic, crazed air about him that isn't present in Movie Doc. A tangible sense of "some sort of fuse has blown in this man's brain" that I can't quite put my finger on, but it is there. Animated Series Real Doc is bananas.

I think—I think that Doc needs to go on a vacation. A nice, calm, relaxing vacation to a tropical island where he can sit on the beach and listen to seagulls and waves crashing. He needs to de-stress.

Real Doc tells us about Benjamin Franklin inventing the lightning rod, and how he was actually present on the night Franklin did his kite experiment. This brings us into the cartoon portion of the episode.

Jules and Verne are playing some sort of high-tech board game, complete with little holograph versions of themselves traveling around the board. Jules wins, and we see a tally chart indicating he's won the game 35 times, while Verne has won only once. When Verne asks how Jules always manages to win, Jules replies, "Face it, Verne, you lack the basic intellectual skills one would naturally expect in a member of the Brown lineage." He goes on to say that Verne isn't good at science and that he doesn't resemble their mother or father. While he's piling on all these insults, Verne is hitting a punching bag that has a picture of Jules drawn on it.

Jules says the logical conclusion is that Verne is adopted. Clara calls the boys to come eat then, to which Jules turns to his brother and says, "Ah, that would be my biological mother. Would you care to join my family for dinner?" He is being terrible. Poor Vernie.

Jules goes on to point out that there's a mysterious lack of baby pictures of Verne. "For all we know, you might even be a Tannen," he says, which makes Verne storm out of the treehouse in his little motorized car.

Meanwhile, Doc is in his lab putting the finishing touches on a new invention. It's a contraption that's powered by a mini flux capacitor and allows him to take a photograph of any person throughout history just by inputting a few pieces of information. ??? I don't. I don't really understand how this would work or what the point is, but ok, Doc. Also, Einstein is wearing those gloves that give him human hands again.

I find this to be unsettling and unnecessary.

Doc is just about to test the device (having decided to take a picture of Benjamin Franklin) when Verne comes flying into the room, demanding to know if he's a Tannen or not. When he mentions not having any baby pictures, Doc then goes to type Verne's name and birthdate onto the screen but is interrupted by an alarm that signals it's time for dinner. (I like the idea of Clara activating a big blinking light and a siren to signal Doc to COME EAT. That sounds like something that would happen.)

Left alone in the lab, Verne sits on the device's keypad and activates it. Because Doc had previously typed in "Ben Franklin" and then followed it with Verne's name, the device combines the two pieces of information and prints out a photo of the two of them. The result is a picture of Benjamin Franklin holding Verne as a baby. Naturally, Verne assumes this means that Ben Franklin is his real father.

We briefly visit the Brown kitchen then, where Clara is serving dinner. She stops Doc before he can reach for the food, and is like, "Aren't we forgetting something?" (she wants him to wash his hands) and I must include Doc's full response because it is. Something.

"Yes, yes. I should launder the epidermal surface of my upper forelimbs' terminal components, utilizing a perfumed block of rendered animal fat." That is TWENTY-TWO words just to say, "Right, I should wash my hands." Doc is so extra.

Verne steals the DeLorean and travels to 1752 to meet his "real dad", and he manages to interrupt Ben Franklin's kite experiment. This then causes all lights and forms of electricity to go out in the present day since Franklin never made his discovery. Marty soon arrives at the Brown residence, having concluded that every single light going out in town must be Doc's fault somehow. Very good conclusion, Marty.

The family gets a video message from Verne—Doc has begun to convert some of the house to run on steam, which is how the video goes through—where he says goodbye to them and that he's off to be with his real father. Jules admits that he's to blame for putting the idea in Verne's head, and we learn Jules's full name as Clara angrily says it: Jules Eratosthenes Brown.

Doc laments that now Verne is lost in time with no way for them to know where he went, but Marty knows just what to do! He rewinds the video, enlarges the image, and zooms in to see the date and location programmed onto the time circuits. "Marty, you're a genius!" Doc exclaims, then grabbing Marty in a too-tight hug. (I am glad Marty's getting a moment to show his intelligence here because 1. he deserves some recognition and 2. he's been an utter bonehead thus far in this cartoon)

Marty, desperately attempting to escape Doc's affection.

Marty, Doc, and Einie take off for 1752, where they proceed to chase Verne all around. Eventually, Verne comes across a large building that has a clock tower, and he decides climbing up to the top will be a good place to hide from his "fake dad" (aka Doc).

Upon reaching the top, Verne accidentally knocks over some building materials on the roof, sending lots of bricks and pieces of metal crashing to the ground. When Doc sees the crash and resulting pile of rubble, he fears that Verne has also fallen and is buried beneath it. He starts shouting for people nearby to help, but they don't seem particularly eager.

"Don't you get it?! This is my little boy I'm talking about!" Doc says to them. "My son! My own flesh and blood! He might be hurt!"

It's all very sweet, and the words of love even reach their way all the way up to Vernie, who is listening from a ladder.

Listen. I have such a soft spot for Verne Brown. This cartoon overall is bonkers, but I really like his character a lot. He is so wildly different from the rest of the Brown family, but he and Doc have such a special bond that adds to this show. I love this scene and how he's instantly moved to tears at hearing how distraught Doc is.

Verne decides that anyone who loves him that much must be his real father, and he calls to Doc from the top of the clock tower. Unfortunately, he slips and ends up hanging off the building. Hmm...what other Brown has done this before?

Doc scrambles to the roof and takes Verne by the hand, but then Doc slips and they're both dangling from the clock. Marty and Einie arrive, and they come up with a plan to rescue Doc and Verne. I should clarify, actually, that it's Einstein who comes up with the plan. He barks, and Marty goes, "Great idea!" and runs to follow him. They fly the time train by just as Doc and Verne fall, catching them safely inside.

With that crisis averted, they now have to deal with the other one: Ben Franklin's lightning experiment being interrupted. Seeing as the sky is clear, they must "create" a storm of their own, which Doc does by creating a lot of smoke via the train, having Verne spray a hose out the window, simulating thunder by banging on a pot, and creating lighting with some sort of device that generates large amounts of static electricity. It makes Marty's hair look very silly.

He has to crank the machine while holding onto Doc, who is dangling out of the train (Doc has to aim where the bolt of lightning will go). That's right. Marty is supporting all of Doc's weight just by holding him with one hand. More evidence for my "Marty has superhuman strength" theory.

The plan is executed successfully, and we return to 1991, where all the lights turn back on. Unfortunately, Clara had to break apart and burn every chair in order to run the stove while the guys were gone, so they're all reduced to sitting around and eating on the floor.

We end the cartoon with this sweet family togetherness moment, and then we get back to Real Doc. *throws confetti*

The live-action segment begins with a lab full of Hawaiian shirts hanging on a clothesline because Doc evidently decided to do some laundry while the cartoon was happening, and he lost track of time. After getting himself back on track, he uses some socks to demonstrate static electricity. He's still not blinking.

After Bill Nye shows us a do-at-home experiment using socks and balloons, we return to Doc, who gives us perhaps the best example of static electricity because his hair looks like THIS

He goes on to tell us that he has to look his best for tonight because he's meeting Clara for dinner. Which is adorable. I love that they have special little date nights together. I wonder if Marty babysits Jules and Verne while Doc and Clara go out. I hope Doc didn't look in a mirror and met up with Clara at a nice restaurant looking like that.

Overall, I enjoyed this episode. It's definitely the most heartfelt one so far in the series, and I like that it really shows us a glimpse of what a loving, dedicated father Doc is. I do, however, feel like it's also the least funny episode so far—which makes sense given the plot, of course. But it didn't leave a lot of room for me to make funny commentary. :(

Join me next time as I skip episode 7 entirely and jump to 8 instead because episode 7 is so weird and bad that I don't want to put myself through having to write a post about it.