#Hilson fic

[microwavedmetal]

I felt the need to do a list of all the hilson fics that I remember have this trope or something that goes near it. I've also taken the liberty to add stories that even barely brushes the concept.

When House is Bored

gracefultree

Summary:

When House gets bored, he asks uncomfortable questions that he doesn't expect Wilson to answer... only this time, he answers and House has to deal with the consequences.

Comment: This one comes closest to fulfilling the actual prompt imo

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How Not To Be Boring

By: fourleggedfish

House is bored, and Wilson is tired of being labeled the boring half of the friendship...so he calls House on a dare. And then stuff ensues. House/Wilson, EXPLICIT SLASH/NC-17! Now rendered AU; pretty much disregards everything starting with "Softer Side"

Comment: Also fits the criteria, but it's technically it's Wilson that started it all

****************************************************************

The Kissing Experiment

starryvioletnight

Summary:

Wilson gets a kiss one day from none other than Gregory House. And then he gets another, and another. Why is House kissing him once a day? Wilson doesn't know, but surely it's completely platonic.

Just a lot of fluff. I wanted to write them kissing.

Comment: This one is more about actions than joking words. 'I'm kissing you, and if you take offense I'm pulling a 'no homo' '.

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Contamination

Someone overhears House's "confession" to Stacy in "The Mistake", and the rumors get a little out of hand.

Comment: Stories diverges from the initial prompt from now on. House jokes about being with Wilson. Everyone believes he was being serious. It changes stuff.

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It’s Not Gay If It’s a Prank

cashewmilkhotel

Summary:

House “pranks” Wilson by stealing all of his clothes and leaving him with only a skimpy maid outfit, Wilson tries to fight back.

Set in the beginning of the series when Wilson gets divorced and House lets him sleep on his couch but not without a bombardment of pranks.

Comment: House really played himself with that one. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

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Flirt Alert

QueerSolar

Summary:

Wilson cannot recognize when someone is flirting with him, even if he swears he can. House decides to teach Wilson what flirting looks like, by flirting with the man, like the countless nurses would. How could his plan backfire?

Comment: House platonically flirts with Wilson to prove a point? Yeah, right.

[thatwholethingwiththeduck]

hilson fic tropes, an incomplete list

already married, have been for years

wilson massages house's leg

hospital betting pool

gay chicken

fake dating

drunk hookup

post-series hookup

wilson lives

they die together

ducklings as matchmakers

caught masturbating

"leave a tender moment alone"

morning wood leads to things

fake proposal as real proposal

use of ducklings + white board to do DDX for Being In Love With Wilson

male hookers + jealousy

drugging one another

thirteen uses her bi-dar to point out their love

new orleans hookup

road trip

(i love them all)

[oriley42]

The face that launched 24k words of fanfic...

Read Weekend in the Poconos on AO3!

[kurtdotkelly]

look i dont usually like fanfics but i need a hilson fanfic where wilson accidentally gets spiked with molly, house comes in the next day and somebody on his team is like 'house you got a patient' and they like redact the name or take it off and just house doesnt care he comes in realizes its wilson and because wilson 100% doesnt do drugs hes fucked as shit and mmolly makes him really affectionate with house and hes like 'goddamn wtf isnt this shit supposed to wear off' and his team is like 'yeah so turns out hes fucked up and it wont come out of his system anturally so go fix him' if anybody does this you gyatta tell me PLEAASEE [or else ill do it /sillythreat]

[luce-ing]

house/wilson fics

criteria - 2.4k - “I don’t think they know that we’re married.”

The Private Life of Gregory House - 4.1k - "You guys really don't get it, do you?" "Get what?" "It's almost insulting, really." Or, five times the team missed the point completely, and one time where they figured it out

Bending You(r logic) - 4.2k - Assflash, newshole, we were married the whole goddamn time.

Synchronicity - 10.3k - Dead patients, car wrecks, drug overdoses, journalists, Comatose Charlie, and orange chicken. Must be love.

The Oncologist Trap - 13k - House subtly seduces Wilson. Somehow.

He Won't Tell You That He Loves You - 25k - “Finish it out,” he grits between clenched teeth. “Go on. Ask it.” Nolan shifts in his seat. “Are or are you not attracted, at the very least, to Wilson?” House knocks his forehead against his cane. “I don’t know. Maybe.” [In which Nolan pulls at the Wilson thread, and House can't stop it all from unraveling. Repression is a hell of a drug.]

The Line of Thought - 12.6k - Cameron, Foreman, and Chase keep on trying to get into the little details of House's love life. House doesn't like that one bit.

Son of Mine - 13.5k - Wilson shrugged. “Well, you’ve met him,” he pointed out. “What do you think House’s kid would be like, if House had a kid?”

[stuffnthangsss]

Currently reading a hilson fic where house never became a doctor (got kicked out of med school I think) and instead went on to work at a jazz club—where he has a meet cute with Wilson (still an oncologist)—which just reminds me of La La Land. Especially the end montage where Seb and Mia get together in one world but in the world of the movie, Mia moves on and gets married (screams Wilson, don’t it?). ALSO the fact that house canonically likes jazz whereas wilson prefers the blues iirc.

Imagine if I were to draw a hilson la la land au, haha jk, unless?

Edit: found this pic and tumblr and it’s perfect

[hilsonamore]

GUYS GUYS QUICK- 10k-20k WORD HILSON FIC WITH AN INTENSE AND HEART-WRENCHING AND SWEET AND YUM PLOT I DONT CARE WHAT EXACTLY I JUST WANT TO FEEL ALL THE FEELS AND CRY AND SOB AND FEEL WEIRD IN MY STOMACH (pref with a happy ending i don’t want to kms)

[compsonn]

Most Well-Written Fics 2024

back at it again for the third year in a row!! personal favorites from this year across multiple fandoms!

no particular order, just based on the order of my bookmarks.

for reference i am sooo picky, i have read over 6000 fics according to ao3, and i've read 700 since the beginning of the year. i only have 53 bookmarks in total... but here are some bookmarked fics i read this year!!!

this year i got into some random shit, blah blah blah, honestly most of these are not faulkner levels of literature doing monuments for the english language but they were good and make me feel a sort of way, so, here you go

Harry Potter (Drarry)

This Year's Love by trishjames / drarry E, longfic. love it a lot. genuinely made me want to become an adult. they were meant to be cry emoji

Yes, But It'lll Cost You by mintaminta / drarry T, privated. this one had such a good vibe, reminds me of fun and school and calm darkness. very nice.

Bad Habits by No_One_Special_01289 / drarry E, lowkey porn, longfic. those last few chapters got me SO hard, they love each other omg cry emoji. poor harry. i think i skipped most of the smut when i read it but the plot was so good. literally star crossed lovers UGHHHHH LET THEM BE TOGETHER

Recursion by tessacrowley / drarry E, longfic. its written really well and it's witty, but i kind of think this author just self-inserts herself for draco in all her fics because... that boy was soo pathetic in canon. genius au basically. but i can forgive her bc the fics are good

House M.D. (Hilson)

yes Medical Malpractice Husbands whatever shut up i like the fics and they're probably in love so leave me BE. these fics are good.

Look, Don't Touch by ORiley42 / hilson E, voyeurism fic.... guys HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT OK that makes it sound SOOO bad but trust me i bookmarked this one because the author took such a horrible trope and made it genuinely not feel that creepy. like this fic is SO funny. it's really good. and the author is straight up just a good writer

the sea and the sky and you and i by thismagichour / hilson M, hanahaki angst. its really good because wilson just gives up and its soo heart wrenching bc he thinks house doesnt like him back and just wants to die. poor guy.

My Hero Academia (Dabihawks)

i have not given a Phuque about MHA for the past five years but i had this phase this year where i was briefly re-obsessed with dabihawks so here are some fics

planting trees (making shade) by nightquake / dabihawks T. basically hawks KHS for a good cause ..? really well written, has high tension and good allusions. loved this one. its the kind of fic u know is good by the summary

Hawks Lays an Egg by ButterflyApocalypse / dabihawks T. never in my entire Life 18 Years have i ever enjoyed mpreg except this fic, because he isnt even pregnant he just has this egg. it's such a good funny fic. i was asking myself why i had it bookmarked from like four years ago earlier this year so i reread it and i was like Yeah ok it deserves the bookmark. SOOO funny and ridiculous. crackiest fic.

MISC random fandoms (Battle Cats (????) and A Clockwork Orange)

nyankopalooza by Sanodigy / Battle Cats Game gen. No clue how i even found this. its so funny. ive never read a fic like this. its so funny. and weirdly well written, i like experimental / weirdly formatted fics. i used to play this game when i was a kid

Bitva Gruppa by VoidVesper / a clockwork orange X fight club, alex delarge X tyler durden E. its straight up a horrible plot, AKA CHILD GETS ASSAULTED. warning for underage and assault. it's not a morally good fic (clockwork orange is intentionally a morally wrong book). but holy shit the writing is great. like it reads like it's anthony burgess. just really good. probably one of the only fics here where i straight up bookmarked only because of the writing style

OK that wraps up this year's edition!! please give these fics a read, your life will be Fulfilled. byebyee

[repressionmd]

ok i caved here you go <3 canon divergent from 3x22 when wilson is high on speed inspired by the lovely @ferretwhomst suggesting that hilson should've kissed. 2 days later here we are. enjoy <3

tagging the folks who've showed interest already sjkdhf i thought i'd let you guys formally know this exists in full: @greghousepogging @starjunkyard @notthetraveler

[scroogemcducksbastardchild]

does anyone have any gutwrenching hilson fic recs. i need my daily dose of old man yaoi

[microwavedmetal]

Gay chicken Hilson

@deanbane bc i promised you a rec list

I separated the fics by subtropes for convenience sake

Its not a comprehensive list, only the stories I've read and remembered I liked.

Standard Gay chicken

Experimental Procedures

ORiley42

Summary: An offhand comment leads Wilson to test out some unusual methods of pain relief for House. (They’re extremely effective.)  <https://archiveofourown.org/works/49530220>

Double or nothing.

EnochianLullabies

Summary: House kisses Wilson's check as part of an 'act', it feels too natural to him, so, of course, he has to turn it all into a game, Wilson catches up pretty quickly. The ducklings try to not get scarred for life.  <https://archiveofourown.org/works/27762535/chapters/67959766>

Autopilot

tornyourdress

Summary: Wilson is used to kissing his wives goodbye before he leaves for work in the morning. When he accidentally kisses House, he knows he's not going to be allowed forget it.  <https://archiveofourown.org/works/55483522>

One-sided Gay chicken (?)

The Game of Misunderstandings

cupqueencake

Summary: Test the waters, Cuddy had told him. She’s the only one that really knows, after all. You don’t flirt with her daily for her not to realize it’s been a deflection from who he really loves. He’s sure by test, Cuddy meant something normal. To just ask him out, give him roses or something, make him dinner. But House is far from normal, and he’s buzzing in his skin with how bored he is. Recipe for disaster, more like. Or, the time Gregory House tried to win a convoluted game just to get together with his longtime friend James Wilson. He just didn't realize he had already lost before agreeing to play.  <https://archiveofourown.org/works/54336595>

Fake marriage

either love is a shrine (or else, a scar)

jamesevanwilson (suhossineun)

Summary: House has a brilliant plan, and he needs Wilson's help. Wilson is a chronic enabler. Getting married for the fourth time should be relatively easy.  <https://archiveofourown.org/works/51980650/chapters/131446576>

I Never Sleep With Married Men

WaitingToBeBroken

Summary: House and Wilson are married. It's not what you think.  <https://archiveofourown.org/works/51500782/chapters/130157821>

[thatwholethingwiththeduck]

In the year of our lord 2024 I wrote a lot of fanfiction about these stupid medical malpractice guys.

it seemed easier to note the ones that weren't Hilson.

post-series

He Wants

Dying Men 

Suspicious

Favor 

Cocktails 

The Sixth Stage

pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name

eternal themes 

One More Story

Happy [stacy/cuddy]

season 8

the drinks always have subtext

depends on how much you have to drink

season 7

Ten Days

He'd Know 

(He'd want to be left alone) [gen]

between pain and not 

season 6

absolution

Wonder

Manly Heterosexual Beers

Third Wheel

Regular Friendship

Couch Politics

star anise with caramelized onions

cures for insomnia 

Set The Date 

Rings

the secret sits in the middle and knows 

your slightest look easily will unclose me

we dance around in a ring

I'm Your Man

season 5

Personality Flaw 

Someone Always Cries [cameron/wilson with background hilson pining]

Not Friends

season 4

James Wilson and the Cozy Blanket of Denial

season 3

Questions and Answers 

True Hate's Kiss 

a light breeze

season 2

In The Human World

Autopilot

Hypotheticals 

vague timeline

Kinder

Hiring Practices 

5 Feelings 

the thing is 

Drinking Game

Distraction [houseteen]

Data

Fourth Time’s The Charm 

Pain Relief [houseteen]

Souvenirs You Never Lose 

Sensitivity Training 

Diagnosis

pre-series

you love him more 

au

two roads diverged in new orleans and i (i took the road less traveled by) 

crossovers

Flamingos (Boston Legal)

Divorced Men's Club (Friends)

Napa (Mom)

Second Wives Club (Frasier)

assume it will be brilliant (Grey's Anatomy)

Love is itself unmoving (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)

[barryroyco]

hiiii i wrote another hilson fic! i started it the day i got my cane as a way of kinda coping with adjusting. so, a lot of house self-loathing, but i promise there’s a happy ending. i kept house as in character as i could so naturally i disagree with the majority of his thoughts and actions AKA being rude to stacy or himself <3

[kurtdotkelly]

I had the most vivid dream that I was Wilson [I would switch from a 3rd/1st Person POV in every 'scene'], and that I got to work with House. And I held his hand AND IT FELT FUCKING GREAT. We were at the office for some reason? Like, office job with a computer. AND I JUST GOT TO HOLD HIS HAND. WILSON GOT TO HOLD HIS HAND!!! And he was indifferent and he was so House. His charisma is so crazy though.

[wdo-obw]

this hilson fic is SO FUNNY AND ENDEARING!! house tricked wilson into watching brokeback mountain and wilson went crazy

[riverroan]

little snippet from my good luck, babe fic :) still planning it obviously. hopefully will be done soon (at least with the first part lol) if you guys have any critiques, please don't be afraid to let me know!!

TW: implied sexual content, internalized homophobia

_______________________________

“House, I’m straight.” He says with a scoff, repeating House's motion before turning on the lamp on the bedside table.

“Then what is this?!” House shouts, pointing between the two of them. “You were just sucking my dick, Wilson! That’s not exactly straight!”

“I don’t know! I’m lonely and touch starved! It’s not my fault I feel comfortable enough around you to want to do this with you!”

“You can pretend to be something you’re not all you want, James, but we both know what you really are. All your wives knew, I know, everyone at work knows; you’re trying too hard to deny it to yourself.”

Wilson’s eyes water as he forces back a sob, “how do I stop it?”

“You’ll have to stop the world.” House responds coldly. “Now, get the fuck out of my house.”