#Hilarious Accidents

[silentwalrus1]

the Benevolent Dictator/Utopian Fascism Universal Fix-It is a super popular fantasy all over, not just on ao3, but it’s in fanfiction that i’ve most commonly encountered the rather hilarious variety which

A) does not seem to realize it’s building a dictatorial fascist state as their glorious utopia

B) nonetheless expends near-constant screentime to trying to convince specifically the audience that no no, here’s why THIS authoritarianism is good really!

which is not a difficult contradiction to parse, given overall fandom desires. Of course you want your blorbo to live in a world that caters to them, and of COURSE any character that has hurt your blorbo SHOULD suffer state-sanctioned torture and capital punishment. In this essay, i will demonstrate that thus there is no need for fic authors to build out all these fantasy monarchies and galactic empires with all their tiresome complex social problems, they just need to make their fic a modern coffeeshop au set in Saudi Arabia -

[spicyraeman]

I could be having so much fun rn if I didn't fumble conversions like it's my profession

[starry-bi-sky]

for clone Danny, Clone Damian

I give you

Edit Clone Talia as somehow Girlfriend of Danny, just think of the comedy

nah brO BECAUSE LITERALLY I HAVE THOUGHT BOUT THAT. Literally since the conception of Clone Danny, I have thought about it. If only for, as you said, the COMEDY of it all. Plus I love writing romance.

Literally my motto for my aus is: A) is it plausible, B) is it FUNNY (and a secret third option C) is it ANGSTY)

Clone Talia would be an offshoot au of Clone^2 because idk how she'd fit into the original timeline, bUT, she'd exist. And to avoid confusion I'll call her Nasra - I thought about Tameka (which means twin) but I like Nasra better. "Talia and Nasra" just flows so nicely doesn't it?

Idk WHY there's a clone of Talia running around -- maybe the LoA made her, maybe n unknown organization who hates Batman and knows he has romantic ties to Talia, and started making a clone of her to fuck with him and then she got nabbed by a portal when she was still Danny's age and in the middle of training. She might be like Connor (??) and have memories and thus her training is more proficient than baby Dames.

Either way, regardless of how she was made, I think it's hilarious if she, much like baby Dames, immediately attacks Danny on sight. She falls into his city and Danny only has a moment to go "goddammit not agaIN" before he's fending off a very confused, very violent Nasra. Fortunately he's able to actually try and talk to her and be at least somewhat successful -- Nasra knows english. although even if she didn't, Danny would still be somewhat successful since he knows Arabic.

Also Bruce and Danny are the battinson bat because i think that is also hilarious and 'wet rat' is STILL the perfect energy for Danny as Phantom - especially in the early days when he's running around in all but jeans and a hoodie. (and god watch me go on a rant in a separate post about his outfit and reasonings for being Phantom when he has no powers later on because it makes me go FERAL. and his active choice to look as inhuman and ghost-like through his behavior as phantom and the decision to wear such a creepy mask as possible)

(like seriously, imagine walking home late at night while danny was still in his early vigilante days (and even now when he's got damian and a better suit) and seeing a skinny figure in the shadows with sunken in black-and-glowing-green eyes, and a bone white, skull-like face, crouched on all fours like a wild animal about to pounce. THAT is the level of creepiness I was going for for clone danny)

In my head, Sam offers to house Nasra and Nasra stays with her. SAm is able to convince her parents to let her stay, or she pulls a Danny and just straight up smuggles her in and her parents are none the wiser. I also think it's funny if they have unspoken BEEF with each other. Only to later become like sisters. Nasra teaches Sam the martial arts she knows, and also Danny joins in too with Damian because goddamn he needs it even IF he's learning stuff from his mom (as per the most recent snippet post I made).

OH AND DAMIAN AND NASRA. I think it's equally as funny if they ALSO have beef with each other. Nasra is a clone of his mother (of whom he might have complicated views on due to being a clone but still is his mother) and Damian is a clone of Nasra's "son". This beef largely starts from Damian's own refusal to want to share his Danny with another clone, especially with a clone of his MOTHER.

Danny and Nasra don't become lovers for a good, long while I think. They're besties first before they even consider the idea of dating -- not only just because of the whole "uhhh our counterparts dated so it'd feel kinda weird and forced if we dated" and also because Nasra, with her newfound freedom, is busy trying to figure out herself.

A big theme here in clone^2: discovering your identity and who you are as a person when the only thing you own that's unique is your name (which isn't even the case for Damian), and figuring out if your choices are your own or because you're a clone and its something your original would have done. Nature vs Nurture and the illusion of choice and whether it really is one or not.

Also Nasra also becomes a vigilante. Danny appreciates the help but is also tearing out his hair because what the fuck is up with these assassins and becoming vigilantes?! Nasra goes by "Nesha". She's similar to Red Huntress at first where she kinda does her own thing, but is lowkey forced to team up with Danny about it because she doesn't have any proper ghost hunting equipment with her.

And then a duo becomes a trio, and Danny is spending more time with her. And they steadily become friends. Very snarky friends who are very bratty to each other, but friends. Damian still doesn't like her so Danny spends extra time during patrol keeping the two of them from making insults at each other.

"Nesha please stop fighting with a nine year old. Wraith, quit insulting Nesha."

Nasra also uses like, weaponry as Nesha which exasperates Danny a little because why are you using swords??? They're already dead its not gonna kill them,,,, If you cut off their heads its just gonna piss em off, its re-attachable. Let him ghost-proof it first too. But well, its still gonna HURT he supposes. He's still a little exasperated.

And MMM i'm sorry lmao im so focused on Nasra becoming her own person than the actual romance aspect of it all. Nasra cuts her hair short for the same/similar reasons that Danny keeps his long - to try and gain a semblance of autonomy and identity that's away from their original. Danny has his alternative rock-kinda geeky look and Nasra's got, from influence from Sam, a more alternative fashion style. Although she still leans into being feminine, which is a good challenge to Sam's belief that feminity = bad, and gets her to unlearn those bad habits since her new adoptive sister is feminine while still being an unapologetic badass.

And ykw I think Nasra gets into rollerblading and loves it. She rollerblades constantly. Damian is furious because skating is his thing (even if what he gets later on is a skateboard - skater boy damian ftw. i can see him wearing flannels and graphic tees as a teenager. very grungy/skater aesthetic. He also has a much more relaxed and teen-y speech pattern compared to DW's more formal way of talking. He also spray paints as his form of artistic medium.) and he refuses to have Nasra be a copy of him.

They will sort out their differences eventually. LMao.

Anyways they eventually do get together, but not before Danny finally has his run in with Mister Wayne. Which, they only meet because Danny starts destabilizing, and thus needs Bruce Wayne's DNA to help stabilize himself. Which that meeting in and of itself is pretty chaotic on its own, but then add clone Damian and Nasra? Bruce needs coffee.. or alcohol.

Because picture this: its late at night, you're on patrol with the rest of your family. It's like, two in the morning. You suddenly get a call in from your butler, Alfred, informing you that not one, not two, but THREE children -- two of them in their late teens and the other one not even ten yet -- showed up on your doorstep. One of them is unconscious. They are all clones.

The girl and the boy are twins - and are clones of YOU - and the girl isn't even technically YOUR clone she's a clone of your clone - and also this clone of you is your college friends' kid. And then the youngest boy is a clone of your youngest SON. Bruce is running across rooftops when he gets this call and does a literal 180 degree turn and touches the ground because he basically did a figure skating turn, and sprints back towards the manor because what the fuck? He needs to check this out.

And then half a day later a clone of your fucking ex shows up on your doorstep demanding to see the clone of you - the boy that is, not the girl - and then immediately gets into a verbal lashing with the clone of your son. Like what a fucking DAY. Your kids are equally as baffled but also laughing their asses off -- except your bio son, who is very unhappy about this turn of events and keeps getting the stink eye from his clone.

Like??? I'd quit right then and there.

While Danny recovers he's staying in Wayne manor and Damian is very reportedly not leaving his side. Ellie has to leave to help take care of Amity Park with RH, and then Nasra is also very determinedly not leaving his side either. This is her friend dammit. The first thing she does when he becomes lucid is insult him, and he insults her back - they're bantering. It's how they flirt later on. None of the Bats know how to deal with this situation.

[ominousvibez]

i know a lot of people tend to define dani/ellie's "obsession" as the ocean to go with danny's space obsession but tbh i feel like as dani gets older she's going to do a lot to separate herself from her identity as danny's "clone" and become her own person

like, that's why i love that the fandom has adopted the "ellie" nickname so much for her. i so wish the show went on for longer with more competent writers or the comic could expand on this maybe but i think finding her own identity and voice would be such a powerful narrative. you're made for one thing but you don't wanna do that, so now what do you do?

(tbh that kind of identity exploration is probably too anit-christian for b*tch h*rtman so i'm glad he didn't get to touch it)

it's canon that dani goes off and travels the world, so why not have her obsession be traveling? she's got a huge case of wanderlust. she likes the outdoors, she likes hiking and camping and is a huge granola girl. like, i think that kinda just fits her a bit more, in my opinion. traveling/exploration.

[frobby]

welcome back to my headcanon corner today i bring you:

Rin okumura has a criminal record for accidently assaulting a police officer because he saw a man harrasing a girl and and knocked him out cold not realizing he was law enforcement. Thankful shiro showed up and talked it over and he just had to do community service....at the church....where he lives....

[buttercuparry]

And what about the other Joe? Whose body is being used as a mere prop in this story to distinguish the before from the after? We, the viewers, are being told the story of a stand in. We saw our Joe asking Ming, if he wasn't just a sex doll for him when his frustrations over Tong got too strong. We sympathized with our Joe, when he realized that now he has to perform the daunting task of playing the stand in for this woman's son. But what about what we are doing as viewers of the story? What about the Joe who never was in the story...we don't know him and I don't think we really want to know him. Only in hospital mirrors and in puddles do we get see that there was this whole other person. A whole other life. A son, an aspiring star, a human being. And then are we not shocked into realizing that how easy it is to dismiss a person when we are focused on watching the story unfold for those of whom we care for? I mean we don't really care about the Joe who never was because the story doesn't give us that space. We are getting povs through Joe's subconscious(?), so onscreen we are watching our Joe going through this new life. I wonder if this is an unintentional parallel to Ming's treatment of Joe. We have a body but we don't care for the personhood of that body. The personhood that's now lost because it is our Joe, whose soul is occupying the body. So Joe who never was is a meatsuit for the viewers...a stand in through whom the story plays out. In the story, we see the actors/characters playing out their part, and only in backstage ( through glimpses in puddles) do we see the stand in.

[tblsomedoodles]

Some Venus ideas

seriously debating on adding Venus to FW so here's some early designs. (like i'm not sure i'll keep the eyebrow marks, they look kinda funky at times). Mostly b/c them having another sister would be adorable. And it would piss Draxum off, which would be hilarious (for reasons i'll explain.)

some more about her under the cut. But it's mostly just random brainstorming i did at 3am

18 yo (3 years older than Raph)

Mutated Ornate Wood Turtle (using some of Lou's DNA.) (so no spider traits.)

Technically their Half sister since Big Mama's not her mother. (not that that will stop Mama from mothering her. She'd get her own room in the hotel and everything : ) )

Was mutated 'first' to test the mutagen.

She was 5 when the boys were mutated.

Venus got misplaced during resulting explosion. eventually found and taken in by the Library Bats. Which is exactly what pisses off Draxum b/c he knows exactly where she is but the bats refuse to give her back to him lol. And no one messes with the bats. (he's got thrown into the kiddy room several times for trying lol)

she's very quiet, shy, and very anxious about and unsure how to socialize with people in general. (✨social anxiety✨)

I don't think she's much of a fighter. like at all. Pretty sure the only way she would fight would be mystics (ie standing in the back taking magic missile esc pot shots wizard style.) she might actually be more of a pacifist than anything. I'm getting the feeling that she wants little to do with fighting or violence personally. Like she wouldn't judge her siblings on it, but she doesn't want to participate. (the only exception being that if someone/thing is hurting said siblings. b/c once she's emotionally attached to those kids, anything seriously trying to hurt her siblings do not get the luxury of her just standing by.)

that's about it.

and a meme about how thoroughly this au is going off track.

[tricoufamily]

it’s so bizarre to me how difficult recent deaths from packs are to get. jokes about killing your sims are like the most overplayed sims joke there is but with these recent ones you literally HAVE to intentionally kill your sim with these you have to TRY there’s no way you could accidentally have a sim die

[laurelnose]

“Just what is it that runs in your veins, Jedao?”

“You’re welcome to cut me open to find out. Knife’s on my left hip if you forgot yours.”

“Oh, I intend to.”

spent most of my Sunday on @figuwhump day 12, which dovetailed really nicely with a couple of MoE thumbnails I was saving. ‘this looks like consensual kink, is this actually whump,’ you might be asking, and to that i say, with Kujen & Jedao it can be both

[whathehonestfuk]

Steve's mom and Claudia had a rivalry in high school (it was homoerotic because what rivalry isn't)

So when Mrs. Harrington shows up to show face helping out after the earthquake (she's not actually doing anything but is good at making herself look busy) Claudia is doing her best not to fall into old childish habits

Steve comes in carrying too many boxes to actually see who's in the gym and shouts "ma where do you want these" Mrs. Harrington immediately admonishes him because he was 'raised better than that'

Claudia responds with an actual location and a smug look at Mrs. Harrington because her son calls her 'ma'

[mo-ok]

spring is so close i swear i can taste it

[jamieedlund]

Imagine reaching the absolute height of magic just to manifest a fifth finger to gesture 'I love you' in human finguistic back at your human student. 🤟😩✨

Bonus! When someone tells them "Happy Valentines day."

and also Happy (really late) Valentines day! I wouldn't miss this for the world and for the two of them 💗 Get you an elf who will manifest a fifth finger only for you 😔🤟(no innuendos intended everyone shut up-)

[prince-liest]

How did you figure out you're aromantic?

Oh, god, what a short question for such a long process, hahaha. First off, didn't figure it out until recently, age 27, but here was the approximate (and very truncated in the amount of internal conflict and introspection involved) step-by-step process:

Figured out I was queer in high school because I felt the same way about women as I did about men! Spent about 5 years thinking I was bisexual.

Figured out that I'm not actually attracted to men when I read a post describing the experience of compulsory heterosexuality and related with it intensely, which was a very freeing experience. Spent 6 years thinking I was a (nonbinary) lesbian!

Hooked up at parties a couple of times out of curiosity and then took up my best friend's offer to fuck and realized that I got the same amount of skin-crawling distaste about that as I did about sexual contact with men, thus realizing I was ace.

Let that domino tip over into the, "Actually, identifying as gay has for a long time given me the same anxiety as I used to feel when I thought I'd have to date a man, and also I'm 27 years old and have never, ever actually wanted to date another human being. When people ask me what my ideal partner is like, I start listing off ways in which they should not bother me or demand my time or be part of my life. Maybe I just don't want... anyone." domino, and the subsequent "I'M FREE!! (from trying to date women)" euphoria was identical to the "I'M FREE!! (from trying to date men)" euphoria, so.

That's where I'm at!

I'm a generally introspective person, but I'm also really great at gaslighting myself into ignoring my own discomfort, so largely it's been, haha, a diagnosis of exclusion. First I excluded men, then the discomfort with women grew large enough that I was able to exclude them as well. Reading about other people's experiences and realizing where they paralleled my own was immensely helpful! So was being close friends with a very poly person who slowly and fully unintentionally changed my perspective on how I view relationships in a very poly-and-relationship-anarchy-as-default way, which incidentally is extremely compatible with aroace queerplatonic ideals and definitely softened me up to be ready to accept that particular realization.

Also, please let this be a sign that just because you identify with one "thing" doesn't mean that you're committing to it forever! <3

[tilbageidanmark]

(All the other memes I made..)

[daily-hanamura]