#it is hilarious to me how both the accidents are paralleled

[buttercuparry]

And what about the other Joe? Whose body is being used as a mere prop in this story to distinguish the before from the after? We, the viewers, are being told the story of a stand in. We saw our Joe asking Ming, if he wasn't just a sex doll for him when his frustrations over Tong got too strong. We sympathized with our Joe, when he realized that now he has to perform the daunting task of playing the stand in for this woman's son. But what about what we are doing as viewers of the story? What about the Joe who never was in the story...we don't know him and I don't think we really want to know him. Only in hospital mirrors and in puddles do we get see that there was this whole other person. A whole other life. A son, an aspiring star, a human being. And then are we not shocked into realizing that how easy it is to dismiss a person when we are focused on watching the story unfold for those of whom we care for? I mean we don't really care about the Joe who never was because the story doesn't give us that space. We are getting povs through Joe's subconscious(?), so onscreen we are watching our Joe going through this new life. I wonder if this is an unintentional parallel to Ming's treatment of Joe. We have a body but we don't care for the personhood of that body. The personhood that's now lost because it is our Joe, whose soul is occupying the body. So Joe who never was is a meatsuit for the viewers...a stand in through whom the story plays out. In the story, we see the actors/characters playing out their part, and only in backstage ( through glimpses in puddles) do we see the stand in.

[thecrenellations]

Top 5 Lymond ships?

I’m going to keep this to romantic* ships, but my list of top 5 Lymond relationships of any kind definitely includes some platonic and family ones (and is even more difficult to confine to 5).

*other or additional adjectives may certainly apply…

click below for spoilers and because my answers got long. Augh, these characters!

Francis/Will - The nicknames! The fights! The stars! Strip tarocco and its narrative implications! Then the wedding day sheep battle, the tactical cross-dressing, “everything there was to know about Lymond’s way with women” ?!?!, the ring, the way Will is there at Midculter when Francis comes home in DK… They’re such a disaster, in hilarious and serious ways, but they make it through to real trust and friendship in the end, and I just love them.

Francis/Philippa - Their relationship is always important and telling and entertaining, and after a certain point but before the suffering sets in, they just keep making each other smile and laugh, by accident and on purpose. Reading their scenes in RC is like genuinely being in the room with them, with banter and chemistry that is PALPABLE and makes me into a third wheel, but as a reader I also have insights that they don’t, so I’m in on it too? Or something. They love each other so much! And after everything, they get to be together. Francis, you fool, this is what you should be!

Francis/Jerott - if you’d told me when I was in the middle of reading the series that they’d be on this list, I’d be like, “Uh, ok, sure. Dorothy Dunnett has changed my opinion about characters before.” If you'd told me when I had just finished the series, I’d go, “Huh??” But here I am. There is so much wrong with both of them, and we know it all too well, but they are so important to each other, and Jerott is one of the characters closest to the story's heart. Getting Jerott safely out of the disaster that is DK is one of the things Francis promises himself, and he’s so glad when Jerott decides to stay. Their relationship, especially in PiF, becomes deeply devoted and strange and delicate and absolutely full of self-deception on both sides. But Francis never stops trusting him, even when he’s busy running away from all of his own feelings with increasing speed, even when Jerott is being awful to him. And all the desperate conflict within Jerott distills to the essential element of being there for Francis, every time it comes down to it. Also, the way Jerott calls him his first name more than anyone else (on-page, in the series’ scope) messes me up.

Marthe/Güzel - I REALLY wish we’d gotten to see more of them. For Marthe, PiF is (among many other things) this long, agonizing breakup, but we only get a few clear glimpses of it. That scene between them in Djerba! Marthe plays a song wishing misfortune on the brother she knows her girlfriend is zeroing in on, and she cries because Güzel has happiness (does she though 😬) and she has none! And I cry too! And the whole mess that web of relationships becomes is fascinating (and one of the clearest examples of how queer these books are, yay), and there's also the parallels with Francis and Margaret, to consider? Anyway, to quote @sophosthewisebunny, Marthe deserves better than the shadiest bitch in the Mediterranean/someone who would leave her for her brother, but their relationship is very interesting.

Francis/Güzel - Rereading RC, every scene between them made me feel dead inside, while also making me want to run around screaming and then return to my book to savor every word. There’s so much going on with them, hardly any of it good, and since I was just thinking about the previous ship on the list, I have to wonder how their relationships to Marthe affect how they relate to each other, because that’s an interesting question, too.

honorable mention to Francis/Míkál, entirely because of this, and Francis -ahem- Lymond/Richard Chancellor, because another thing that happened as I was rereading RC was that I realized just how much I’d missed about how important they are to each other, in such a rare and needed way (the first time, I was busy losing it about the brother prophecy and yelling at Francis to be friends with Adam and Alec again).

[magpie-come-east]

Sorry. Someone asked me about Leda and I think I deleted the ask on accident. But here you go!

favorite thing about them

She's such a fun character. As well as written well to reflect the themes and story of both Miquella's journey and the tragedy between Marika and the Shadow Lands. Her and Ansbach never failed to get genuine out-loud irl reactions out of me. She is quite memorable.

I also adore how despite her paranoia she is often wrong in her judgements about people. She says Thiollier is not a threat because he is too meek to act out against Miquella. She shifts her attention from Hornsent after Messmer's defeat because the Demigod's death deflated him (he attacks you later). The only one she's really right about is Ansbach.

least favorite thing about them

I don't really have a least favorite thing. I wish the Oathseeker set had better stats? It's good-looking armor.

favorite line

"I've come to the realization... There's ample evidence... Without Kindly Miquella's influence... I'm quite mistrustful of others."

"Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. I can wield my sword to cull the undeserving, those unfit to bask in Miquella the Kind's presence. I should've thought of this earlier."

She's genuinely hilarious. She's so charming in her unrelenting need to kill with nearly approaching self-awareness.

"I can't fathom your convictions. After knowing Kindly Miquella, what remains to pledge to your Lord of Blood?"

An absolutely sick diss on Mohg to Ansbach. I dunno I like this quote because of how it illuminates Ansbach's character honestly. He's an old man in love, Leda. That's all.

brOTP

None. I think without the charm Leda can't form any close bond with anyone. Miquella has her for a knight, but her obsessive devotion feels particularly one-sided.

OTP

Again, none.

nOTP

Unfortunately, I have no strong opinions for this one, either. I don't really see Leda to be compatible with anyone, but I also don't balk to see her paired with anyone either.

random headcanon

Leda is Miquella's Varre. Miquella genuinely cares about her and appreciates her service. But her obsessive devotion to him far outweighs his personal relationship with her.

unpopular opinion

Ansbach and Leda are foils, yes. But I think too often people attribute Leda's paranoid and homicidal personality as a mirror to Miquella's. Leda isn't a direct parallel to Miquella's inner heart, but more a thought-provoking demonstration of his mercy and compassion in progress (same as Ansbach).

Leda has a compulsion to kill people. She killed Miquella's other Needle Knights and she killed her Oathseeker companions. She goes on to attempt to kill her current band after the charm breaks. Leda represents the unstoppable violence of the system. Miquella's solution to that system is to subdue the violent impulses. It doesn't get to the root of Leda's issue- it doesn't fundamentally change her paranoid desires- but it stops her from killing. It stops her from being a danger to herself and others. And whether or not we see that as a just outcome is entirely up to us. I think that's neat.

Hmm, the 'His Eminence' she references in her monologue before 'Those United in Common Cause' is literally Miquella. This isn't really ambiguous; I'm surprised I see so many theories about who 'His Eminence' could be.

favorite picture of them

There's so much great art of Leda. Sadly, every time I think of her this is all I see.

The Elden Ring Multiplayer Experience 3 - Leda (youtube.com)

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 27: The Shadow in the Night

I couldn't find any Trolloc puppets so this is what we're going with I guess. It seemed better than pictures of real life fireworks accidents where I wasn't sure if maybe someone got seriously hurt or not. I'm pretty sure that no one got hurt in this episode of Star Trek; the Gorn lived. But I can't promise that about this book series, so if you don't want that kind of spoilers for Wheel of Time, or really any kind of spoilers, it's best not to click keep reading.

This chapter has the Trolloc triptych since we will be getting Trollocs in Cairhien.

The street was empty save for one of the big puppets, a goat-horned Trolloc with a sword at its belt, coming toward them with five men working the poles, but sounds of merriment drifted still from other parts of the Foregate, where the halls of entertainment and the taverns stood. Here, doors were already barred and windows shuttered.

Presumably this is the work of the undescribed man who saw Rand awhile back. I suppose that if Fain is going to defy fate, he might as well defy narrative convention as well.

Instinct brought the sword out of its sheath in a flashing arc. The Moon Rises Over the Lakes.

Honestly the motion I picture when I think of the sword form's name is a bit more complex than a flashing arc, but it gets points for being such a great name.

“Loial, we have to get back to the inn. Hurin’s alone, and they—” He grunted as he was lifted into the air by a thick arm long enough to pin both of his to his chest.

Rand's Shadowspawn Senses still don't seem to have kicked in yet.

The Power. That could do it. How, he did not know, but he knew nothing else to try. The Trolloc had its sword half unsheathed. When the curved blade was bare, it would kill Loial.

I love it when a hero is forced to use an undesirable power because the escalation of the narrative has left them with nothing else.

Driven by a distant desperation, he tried again and again. And again and again there was only the taint.

Of course, that really only makes it all the more hilarious that Rand isn't capable of channeling consistently yet.

“I’m sorry you had to do it, Loial, but it would have killed both of us, or worse.” “I know. But I cannot like it. Even a Trolloc.” Pointing toward the setting sun, the Ogier seized Rand’s arm. “There’s another of them.”

Funny how this bit of work towards Perrin's arc is here in Rand's, considering how many dead Trollocs this boy will be making even in Zen Mode.

He pulled Loial along to the next corner and turned toward the nearest sounds of laughter and music, but long before they reached it, another group of men appeared ahead of them in the otherwise empty street with a puppet that was no puppet.

Rand has something in common with that Trolloc, I suppose. There are some parallels of course - the puppeteers are far less dangerous than the "puppet"; they control it only to the degree that it's convenient for the Trolloc, everything is being done out of sight and in the shadows - but I'm sad to say that I'm at a blank for any deeper meaning.

Sometimes, here where there were no eyes to see, a Trolloc stalked alone. More than once he was sure it was one he had seen before. They were closing in, and making sure he and Loial did not leave the deserted streets with their shuttered windows.

I really like that the Trollocs are still terrifying at this point.

“I don’t have it with me,” he snapped, “and I don’t know how it could help if I did. The dead heroes are not supposed to come back to save me from Trollocs. Selene, you have to get away. Now!”

This is (very likely unintentional) irony, since the Horn isn't blown in the Last Battle until a young boy with no other options has to be saved from Trollocs.

“Seek the Oneness, and be calm. One who would be great must always be calm.”

This is also ironic, since Lanfear has the chill of a blast furnace on the surface of the sun.

Selene cut him off. “If he wants to go in, alantin, he needs a door. Such as that one.” She pointed to a dark patch a little down the wall. Even with her telling him, Rand was not certain it was a door, but when she strode to it and pulled, it opened.

If it weren't for the fact that the far side of this wall had brackets for a bar, I'd half think that Selene had some incredible forgotten weave for turning walls into doors.

At the worst, humans had to be better to deal with than Trollocs. He might be able to talk the Illuminators into letting them go; Trollocs did not listen before they killed.

Rand of course will forget this lesson much later in his dealings with the Seanchan.

The woman’s dress, worked elaborately across the breast, seemed a pale green, and her hair was done in a multitude of short braids.

Hi Aludra! Sorry about what happens to you for the next six books or so. (Also hi Tammuz I guess? Apparently you're technically a recurring character. Good luck with that; I barely remember you from this chapter and I only reread it seven hours ago.)

In any case, fireworks were too expensive for the Village Council to have allowed anybody unskilled to open one. He could well remember the time when Mat had tried to do just that; it was nearly a week before anyone but Mat’s own mother would speak to him.

I'm pretty sure we hear about this story again. I'm also pretty sure Mat will finally open a firework next book.

Rand was just breathing a sigh of relief as they approached the low wall—and the alleys and buildings behind it—when Loial brushed against another rack, standing right beside the wall. It held ten soft-looking sticks, as long as Rand’s arm, with thin streams of smoke rising from their tips. The rack made hardly a sound when it fell, the smoldering sticks sprawling across one of the fuses.

It's like the Illuminators were asking for their chapterhouse to be burned down, frankly.

“Sometimes,” Selene said quietly, “if you are very still, no one can see you at all.” She did not sound the least bit worried.

This is both a useful observational fact about life and clearly a good weave.

“I am not to blame for this, Aludra,” the man protested. “I have been sure to put everything where it belonged, and the punks, they were—”

Sorry Tammuz, I'm absolutely blaming you.

“It is said great men make their own luck,” Selene said softly.

Lanfear: Just because I'm pretending to be a helpless noblewoman doesn't mean I'm not going to expect credit for every secret thing I do to help you.

“Your greatness will make me happy.” Despite the words, Selene sounded angry. “Perhaps I should leave you to find your own way for a time. If you’ll not take greatness when it is in your grasp, perhaps you deserve to die.”

I can see why she hooked up with LTT in the first place and why the dude dumped her the second he had a chance with a slightly more chill woman.

“You let me worry about the Trollocs.” Three of them. I might do it, with the void.

Of course, Rand is finally embracing the greatness she wants anyway. Doesn't even realize it.

It tilted, started to fall over, and he caught the square wooden base; the tube pointed straight at the Trollocs.

Hence the picture above.

Blinking, Rand staggered to his feet, coughing in thick, acrid smoke, ears ringing.

Jordan should have added tinnitus to Rand's list of agonies because it is a bitch and the boy damages his ear drums way too much not to end up with it.

“An old woman, my Lord. Not a quarter of an hour gone. A servant, though she did not say from what House.” Cuale smiled as if inviting confidences.

Definitely Lanfear in disguise. She's not too vain to try and fool Rand this way as we'll know from later, and the difference in age is more than enough for Mr. Idiot here not to suspect that the Obviously Magic Woman following him around improbably might have left the letter herself.

Think of the glory. “I wish Ingtar would come.”

Rand would have been a great hornblower, since he always slides right past the glory in favor of the salvation.

[ralphlanyon]

For the TC ask game: 2, 6, 10, 15, 17, 22, and 24!

2. Scene that lives in your head rent free.

So many! But I'll go with "Come and say goodbye to me," which speaks for itself.

6. Wackiest (but hilarious) Laurie opinion™.

Laurie trying to convince himself that Ralph and Bunny are happily in love despite all evidence to the contrary and that he isn't incredibly jealous and resentful of Bunny!

10. Laurie/Andrew and Laurie/Ralph: discuss.

Obviously I'm a Ralph Lanyon and Ralph/Laurie girlie through and through! I think they are just extremely similar and compatible, in terms of their personalities, their idealism, their values, their sense of humor, their beliefs and attitudes towards queerness and towards the war, their past trauma, their need to be needed, their intense loneliness and desire for intimacy and affection (and of course Renault makes it clear that they are very sexually compatible). They also both understand what it's like to be abandoned by a parent, to become permanently and visibly disabled by war injury, and to not feel a sense of belonging or attachment to anywhere. So many themes and parallels with their relationship - it makes the literature nerd in me happy. 🤩

Laurie/Andrew doesn't have nearly the same emotional pull for me, although intellectually I get its place in the novel and Laurie's development. Part of it is that for most of the book Laurie seems to be unconsciously projecting his fantasy of school-age Ralph onto Andrew (as well as various moral ideals), so I never felt like I got to truly know Andrew as a person (or that Laurie did, for that matter), just what Laurie thinks he is, or ought to be. It's not an accident I think that Andrew is the same age as Ralph when we first meet him (and when Laurie last sees him at school) and that he often feels less a fully fleshed out character than an ideal Laurie carries in his head.

15. At which point did you know TC was going to be One Of Those Books for you?

Haha, I will have you know that the first time I read the book, I was being perfectly normal about it up until the party chapter, and then Ralph showed up again and ruined my life and now I'm here eight years later still totally obsessed! If it had ended unhappily with Ralph dying or Laurie and Ralph not getting back together (which would have been the conventional Queer Novel ending back then), I probably would have just moved on, but it had the temerity to actually end on a hopeful/happy note so I guess I'm just going to be invested forever.

17. Most ??? passage (ambiguous/unclear/etc)

"As Laurie got up he found he was levering himself on a pile of hymn books; some almost submerged tactile memory remarked, Ancient and Modern, not Songs of Praise." I was not Raised In A Christian Home and still do not get why that distinction is at all relevant, lol.

22. What was the soldier at the party about to reveal about Alec/Ralph?

Hmm, I actually didn't interpret it as being about Alec/Ralph specifically, just about Ralph! I thought he was going to drop some salacious gossip about Ralph's sex life or kinks - like "The man acts all uptight and strait-laced, disapproving of everything going on here, but I hear this is how he really behaves when he's in bed..." And then Laurie cuts him off with, "I've known him for years," which the soldier interprets as, "I've slept with him," prompting him to ask Laurie for confirmation if the sex gossip about Ralph is true.

24. Most surprisingly modern aspect of TC.

I guess actually acknowledging that bisexuality exists, even briefly? Ralph rattling off the historical figures he considers bisexuals and Ralph and Laurie talking about Shakespeare being "normal plus, not minus" amusingly remind me of how queer people nowadays discuss their favorite queer historical icons.

[jedinightsister]

2 qs :) 1) what’s your favourite slow horses duo/team up? shirley/anyone is always prime entertainment but in the later books lech and louisa have been surprisingly competent together. Also shirley/river/jk coe “huddling” (“it’s not touching its survival!!!”) was hilarious

2) what do you think of the casting for the new characters? Obvs will reserve judgment for when I’ve seen their take on the characters but the actor they chose for whelan for example I think is maybe…. Too conventionally attractive lol. Like I remember him being described as balding. Ofc a good actor can serve us pathetic realness regardless of their looks! I mean we already we have Jack lowden as river

Tysm for the q's anon! My answers under the cut<3

QUESTION 1

That is so hard... I think I love that they always mix it up, so we can see all kinds of dynamics between the characters y'know. Like, they have a go-to pairing (ex. Min and Louisa, Shirley and Marcus), but they also switch things up to bring out a different kind of interaction. Whether it's supportive, deprecating, etc. it's just awesome.

For my personal faves tho, there's a lot and I will name them all from what I can remember.

1. Shirley and Marcus. Even after Marcus is gone, the ripple of this friendship in Shirley's life is just so strong, it is both amusing and heartbreaking. That despite how much antagonistic Shirley is toward him, she grew to genuinely care about him in her own way, to reciprocate how he cared about her. I'm scared af for season 4 because this is coming. Part of me doesn't want them to push through with it, but again, I love the effect of his loss on Shirley, for better or worse.

2. Louisa and Min. Bit of a similar sentiment here. Min's loss really takes its toll on Louisa and how she interacts with everyone else. But when they were still together, I also enjoy how they balance each other out. Min really wears his heart on his sleeve and tries to get Louisa out of her shell. And we see Louisa's struggles with that.

3. Louisa and River. The "competent" ones of Slough House hahaha. A duo I'm glad because we will see more of. I love the parallel of both of them dealing with loss (Min and Sid) and again, being the "competent" ones compared to everyone else. River being his hero complex, loser self, and Louisa not letting him off the hook so easily. Ah, there's the word I'm looking for-- accountable. They hold each other accountable, especially for this next pairing.

4. Shirley and JK. I don't even know what to say for these two 😆😆 They are the outsider crazies, Shirley being the super noisy cuz she high on drugs, and JK being absolutely silent but having the darkest intrusive thoughts. Both however seem to really share this dark, violent streak, and the fact that their team up resolved the conflict in London Rules instead of River and Louisa, it always cracks me up 😆

5. That said, River-JK and Louisa-Shirley team ups also one of my faves. Gotta put them together in one because the dynamic is somewhat similar. River and Louisa trying to "babysit" JK and Shirley while they do the "adult" work of investigating. JK's paint accident and Shirley's stint with a bat...oh dear. 😆

6. Louisa and Emma. I know Emma doesn't technically count as a Slow Horse, but she might as well be in Joe Country. Their friendship was so precious to me and I wish we got more. 🤧

7. Agree with you anon, Shirley/JK/River is also top of my list. The comedic trio we never knew we needed, so of course Mick Herron said " can't let my readers have nice things" and k-worded JK 🥲 his final moments with Shirley are so devastating like... Grrr.

8. Unfortunately I dont remember Louisa and Lech's dynamic specifically, but I am pretty sure I loved it as well??? I know I liked that a bit of an unhinged fella took JK's place a lil bit lol. I just love the more chaotic Slough House is with their different personalities.

QUESTION 2

I quite like the new castings!

Emma Flyte looks great. And her brief interactions with Lamb were already iconic haha.

We haven't seen JK Coe in the trailers or pics yet, but based on the actor himself, I can totally see him pulling off JK's isolative silence and eventual killer instinct madness lol.

I'm not sure how I feel about Frank Harkness. I know the actor from his other roles, but I'd like to see more of how his interactions with River go.

I have to agree that Claude Whelan casting feels off from the surface, but because of having seen him on Blood And Treasure, I actually think he's perfect given Claude's slimy personality haha.

[lenteur]

random thoughts about castaway diva, episode five (pt. 2)

(read more because i always get carried away lol and this post might contain spoilers)

I KNEW IT!!! There were four towels in the gift dae woong (ki ho's childhood friend) gave to mr jung (ki ho's father). He said there's one for each of us, meaning one for the dad, one for the mom, one for ki ho and the last for ki ho's sibling. So that means bo geol is ki ho and woo hak is ki ho's older brother. I'VE CONNECTED THE DOTS.

Agh! I'm so mad!!! i don't want president hwang to be swayed by lee seo jun's offer. Please refuse it so ran joo can become the majority shareholder of rnj.

I didn't expect the show to give us the whole backstory on ran joo's singing career. So, president hwang gave up his job and abandoned his family to make ran joo famous. And then she left him to go to lee seo jun's company. He must feel a lot of regret and I hope he didn't sign the contract lee seo jun offered him. I want to believe he still has a little bit of room in his heart to help ran joo.

The parallel between president hwang lashing out at ran joo and ran joo lashing out at mok ha is so clever. I hope ran joo learns from her mistakes and doesn't take mok ha for granted. Like president hwang said, "we tend to take it out on the kindest pushovers" and then the camera pans to mok ha. She's apologized to ran joo when she wasn't even in the wrong, she forgave her quickly, she's doing the most to help ran joo's album sale goal and yet it seems ran joo only hoped mok ha would magically hear her apology when she (ran joo) didn't say it out loud to her (mok ha).

Hilarious how both ran joo and mok ha forgot to talk about album sales with president hwang and bo geol being the one to remind them lmao

I like how president hwang saw right through seo jun. He knew as soon as he signed the contract, lee seo jun would discard him. Finally someone with a brain and using it against lee seo jun!!!

Nice parallel between the two brothers. Bo geol at the beginning of the episode affirming he doesn't know ki ho, but still letting mok ha know he must be doing okay. And woo hak at the end of the episode letting her know he saw ki ho and he's doing well. Each brother taking a different approach to it but still reassuring her ki ho is alive and okay.

So dae woong got into an accident after he tried dissuading mr jung to find ki ho.

Okay so here's my theory as to why woo hak keeps having these flashbacks. So, as I confirmed from the towels (and the mugs in mr jung's seoul house), there are four members in the family: mr jung, his now ex-wife, ki ho and his brother. Woo hak keeps having these flashbacks that happen in the seoul house, not in the chunsam island house. I think woo hak is ki ho's brother that mr jung manage to keep with him when ki ho escaped. Mr Jung is mad about it and takes it out on the other sibling aka woo hak. Woo hak's amnesia must have happened around that time when during one of his bursts of anger, Mr Jung hit woo hak on the head and it was so violent woo hak ended up having amnesia. I'm not sure about that but I wanted to share my thoughts with whoever's reading this.

Okay so the plot thickened a lot and I am not ready for what happens next hahaha laughing in pain emoji.

This episode has developed a lot of storylines and it made me excited more like fearful for what will happen next. It's a 9.75/10 for me

[dontgofarfromme]

Rewatching EXU bc the Dorian message got me thinking abt them and I missed them, things I have noticed as of ep 1:

Dorian has always been the wildest combination of lying liar who lies and guy who can't lie to save his life. He won't tell you shit about himself however he constantly flags that he's rich by accident and doesn't realize it.

The number of characters all from small towns/areas (or not from this plane of existance) all with minimal experience in big cities!! The exploration of newness is an overarching theme. I also forgot how closely paralleled Opal and Dorian especially are on some fronts in this respect, there's a naivete to both of them, which Opal just spills all over the place and which Dorian tries his best to cover up. Theres this sense esp this early into the show that they've just been let out of a restricting cage for the first time and are riding high on it, but also have some gaps in their understanding of how everything...works. Orym is an interesting contrast bc you get the feeling that while he may not have experienced the city himself and has lived his whole life in a place with leaders that could be trusted, he seems aware of the potential dangers and corruption in the world but actively chooses to give people the benefit of the doubt despite this.

Fearne was always chaotic but I think she's actually become more chaotic as time goes on. Ashley plays her as slightly more reserved here.

Forgot how much Dorian and Orym sort of teamed up as the slightly more restrained ones early on. This obviously goes out the window a bit later on Dorian's part, but the contrasting reasons for not wanting to steal shit for Poska are interesting--Orym has a clear moral objection and suspicion of Posla's intentions, Dorian seems to both have some 'grew up rich' sympathy for her targets but I think also has some worry around doing an illegal thing in general (another compare/contrast between him and opal, she's raring to use her newfound independence to do whatever the hell she wants; and also maybe a consequence of his history in a pretty restrictive environment).

Ruidis + Catha on flag of the ship they rob 2:07:15. The ship is called "the Blightstar" and Aabria says "this looks like...the ship is named after Ruidis, yeah." *Travis voice* WEEEOOOOWEEEOOOWEEEOO. It's also from Issylra, not a place known for trade, so it's weird that it's there.

In the same convo Aabria says Orym is "extremely well-traveled," but earlier in the ep Orym says he's only been to 2 "city taverns." Was the traveling for work with Keyleth or in the 6 years after he left Zephra, or both? I am shaking this little guy upside down so all his secrets fall out of his pockets tell me everything!!!!

Truly the entire "He's a real sailor! He's kept us aloive! Many toimes I would've doied if it weren't for him!" is hilarious

Do we know what Dariax's compass is for? Does he actually follow a deity?

I fully don't remember who did all the murders on this boat or why they didn't take the crown with them while they escaped, I can't remember if we ever figured it out?

It's really interesting how often Dorian tosses the ball to Orym for input/final decisions from like day one. It feels almost like he's looking for either someone who knows what they're doing or a moral compass outside himself and he's pretty convinced Orym's got both those things covered.

Orym, questioning all his life choices: we stole an oily dark crown from a ship full of corpses with evaporating assassins and a monster in the hull.

Opal, having the time of her life: Yeah!!!! We did that!!!

Speaking of evaporating assassins, hey Orym...I do wonder if any of this poked at those memories for him

The fact that Orym's first battle maneuver was bait and switch, I continue to sob over this halfling oh my god he's just doing his best to keep everyone else safe.

I've been doing an awful job of keeping track of plot points in cr3 and I'm p sure they mentioned it but the nameless ones have 40 pounds of smuggled refined residuum from Zephra, def ties into the box they got recently in cr3.

How do the baby ankheg and the big ankheg line up is it that the ship the CK rolled was one Poska's group was targeting anyway but the CK interrupted and took the crown before anyone else could?

It's really interesting that while Orym has been the one trying desperately to steer them right and keep them away from unnecessary dangerous theft etc through this whole episode, in the end his decision to take the residuum (honestly a fair and understandable one!!) is a solid 50% of what puts them on Poska's bad side. It's about what's right for him, not what's safe--he's consistent!

[waywardstoryenthusiast]

Lair of Greivous

I can't help but find it funny how both Nahdar and the Commander are so eager to leap in.

'Scans are negative.' Immediately something screeches in the darkness 'Well that was something.' Okay, I'm worried, but that was objectively hilarious.

Yeah, figured that Gunray wasn't there, since they weren't showing him. I do love Kit casually roasting him though.

I also like Kit chiding Nahdar for lashing out at the droid. It wasn't a big thing, but the droid was already down, it wasn't a threat when Nahdar lashed out at it. It may not seem like a huge issue, but it is something one should avoid doing in case it becomes a habit. I don't know if I'm making sense, but I appreciate the moment.

Oof. The sight of those trophies (inluding Padawan braids?! I know Padawans can range in age from early teens to young adults, but still. That's fucked up.) I don't blame Nahdar for being upset. (Even if I already know what's coming for him. Even if I can guess what will happen when he allows his feeling to overwhelm him.)

I do like the set up here, because it is very indicative (to me) of Palpatine's prime strategy. He has two groups that he doesn't like: the jedi, since he hates the jedi and wants them all dead, and Grievous, who he feels is failing and not adequately killing enough jedi. And since the Sith's whole thing is backstabbing/tossing people away once they're no longer of use or displease them, he wants him gone. So he sets up a situation to pit them against one another. If Grievous wins, that's two more dead jedi one of whom is a Council member (I think? When did Kit end up on the Council?), along with several clones. If the jedi win, they will either capture Greivous, if possible, at which point Palpatine will either arrange an 'accident' to take him out, or arrange for him to break out in a way/place where he will cause the most damage. If they jedi can't take him alive, they will have to kill him, which also plays into Palpatines plans. It's interesting.

Shit, Greivous just smacked Kit with a trooper! Poor trooper. That was a good plan though, they almost had him. (Too bad they can't catch him for plot reasons.)

Ah, no. Three clones down. Dammit Nahdar. I don't want to think he's that callous towards the clones, I think he's just too pissed at Greivous and wants to take him down to the point that it's blinding him. Which isn't an excuse, and is a bad sign. I do like how Kit doesn't overtly chide him, but gives him a look and redirects their focus to where it should be: helping people, in this case tending to the wounded. And, judging by the way Nahdar is kneeling by the one downed clone and touching their shoulder, he does seem upset by their loss. Again, not an excuse for his words, but perhaps a sign that he does care for the clones. (And I can't help seeing how his allowing his emotions to cloud his judgement will lead to his doom.)

No! Niner and Bell! And the other clone whose name we didn't get the chance to know!

I did appreciate seeing how intent Nahdar and Kit were to save the Commander (Fil? I think I've seen people call him that?)

Also enjoying the parallels between Greivous and Vader.

And then there were two. It may be just me, but I got a lot out of the conversation with Nahdar and Kit after the Commanders death. Both feel pain over it and the other deaths, but Nahdar is getting caught up in it and wants revenge. Kit however is still able to keep a cool head and think about their situation and what needs to be done. He also reminds Nahdar of his teachings. Nahdar's response does demonstrate how the jedi are being negatively affected by the war. It's interesting.

And here it is. Nahdar acts rashly, forgetting to be mindful (also forgetting that they failed to take Greivious out when there were 2 jedi and five clones) and is killed. Poor Nahdar. Poor Kit. Fuck Greivous.

And once again, we got a jedi calling someone out in the best way. Jedi, masters of throwing shade.

And that last conversation sums up what I was trying to say. Nahdar having his heart in the right place, but putting too much emphasis on power and strength (which in some ways made him more like Greivous than a jedi). Yoda's comment about losing themselves.

Are all these episodes going to end in a bittersweet way?

[thenukacolachallenge]

i’m calling a few things now for stranger things 5:

-it feels pretty obvious by now that Eddie is coming back in some capacity. if they don’t bring him back it’ll honestly be a huge missed opportunity, not just from a fan perspective but also from a business perspective. it really feels like they set his death up deliberately to bring him back if Joe Quinn knocked it out of the park, and he very much did. the fact that they didn’t show his body nor the team/Dustin’s exit from the Upside Down seems pretty deliberate to give some validity to the “he may come back to life somehow” rumor mill. i may be overestimating their writing team and this was completely accidental, but also throw in the fact that he’s STILL doing a ton of press, specifically with Jamie Campbell Bower(who plays Vecna) even though his character is supposedly dead and not coming back(i’m just saying, they tried to pull this last season with Hopper, and it didn’t seem to work much then either)? it could potentially set up Vecna somehow bringing him back and controlling him like he did with Billy or with Will. the whole parallels to Wayne’s outfit in his scene with Dustin matching Jonathan’s outfit from s1, the parallels from the music in the scenes of both Eddie’s death and Will’s revival? it just seems like these weren’t things that were done on accident, imo. and even if they were accidental, they could still retroactively make them work if they really wanted to milk the Eddie love for all it’s worth(and judging from his popularity, it’s worth quite a bit). at the very least i won’t be surprised if we see some flashbacks, or visions from Vecna, or something.

-also, i think if he does come back proper, his story will likely mirror Will’s experiences from s1 and s2. piggybacking off my last point, there’s already some evidence for a potential of that with what i mentioned, and i feel like it could set up for Will to somehow save him(pure speculation on my part but it’d be fun to see lol). his story could also mirror Billy’s, but with a twist that at least Eleven knows how to save people from Vecna’s control now, and could potentially save him a lot sooner.

-i think this’ll also be the season we finally see someone from s1 die. my money’s on Eleven, Will, or Johnathan/Steve(either one of them in an attempt to subvert the whole love triangle thing we supposedly had resolved two fuckin seasons ago).

-possibly also Ted Wheeler, but i also feel that Karen might finally divorce him if they both live through all this. either way i feel like Ted’s bubble is about to burst in a hilarious yet terrible way if he doesn’t just flat-out kick the bucket.

-i also don’t think Max is going to survive either. judging from interviews with the duffer brothers i’ve seen, they were really on the fence on whether or not to kill her off, and so they kind of settled for this in-between state she’s currently in. i feel like if they do go ahead and kill off someone from s1, then they’ll probably do the same to her, since they already pulled the bandaid off. it’ll make me very sad if they do, but i do feel like this may be her eventual fate.

-i really have a feeling(or at least a hope) we’ll finally see more of Kali this season. it’d feel very weird if her story just left off where it did, although there’s always the potential for spinoffs if they don’t include her. it just seems like maybe if Eleven herself isn’t strong enough to stop Vecna, that her big sister would finally come to her senses and come help to save the day. idk, it just really seems like it’d be a waste if she didn’t come back.

-i have no evidence for this but i just really want Murray to analyze the El/Mike/WIll thing and chide the original teens for continuing the dumb love triangle thing. i also just want more of Murray. and Argyle. and Erica. and i want all of them to interact. and if the duffer brothers hurt them i will do donuts on a motorcyle all over their nice lawns.

[sepublic]

           I love how by the end of The Third Temple, Sasha no doubt thinks she’s being super-clever and conniving, because Marcy mentions going to Newtopia first, so of COURSE Sasha agrees with this, takes advantage of it, she’s such an opportunist and the girls have no idea they’re playing right into her hands…

           Except! She’s actually being outwitted by MARCY, who’s the actual smart kid… And it’s MARCY who’s thinking that Sasha’s playing into her own hands, and it’s probably Marcy’s gambit that will win out in the end with Andrias and his master; But it’s so damn hilarious because like… They’re both manipulating and playing into each other’s hands, but neither knows the other is up to something! Sasha underestimates Marcy and doesn’t know enough about Andrias, and then Marcy’s just blindly trusting of Sasha, like she probably is of friends who also serve as authority figures in her life in general (case in point Maddie Flour).

           It’s legit hilarious, and the writing’s so clever; Because they both have their own agendas but underestimate the other, and they just so happen to align perfectly… And you can see one being dumb, but really they’re BOTH being simultaneously smart and duped, and amidst the tragedy and betrayal, it’s gonna be low-key funny when Sasha and Marcy’s plots collide into one another awkwardly, as they realize- Oh WHOOPS, we sort of had the same plan, but didn’t? I love it, I love seeing how these characters can have their hidden agendas and how they play into each other at the same time, clashing and conflicting, lowkey agreeing upon the one thing they both need to take down the other, and neither of them even realize it!

           It’s such a complex web of events and intent, and it’s even better that they’re utterly oblivious to the whole thing… Unless Marcy is actually more aware than she lets on, and/or Andrias suspected all of this and told her. Then meanwhile you have Anne caught in the crossfire and confusion and betrayal, and no doubt Sasha and Marcy will ask if SHE had any ulterior motives, and she doesn’t, and it’s so confusing and hard to keep track of… Though I can also see Marcy kind of suspecting it, again from Andrias, but because she also knows about what Sasha did at Toad Tower from Anne, whereas Marcy herself has had no betrayal precedent established.

           But yeah, it’s so damn funny that Sasha is probably thinking “GOTTEM” at poor dumb Marcy who she loves, but actually Marcy’s been four parallel universes ahead of her this whole time, freaking MARCY, and while Anne and Sasha duel it out… They’re totally missing out on the ACTUAL girl who’s playing them all for fools, and her con is likely aided by the fact that she legit doesn’t mean malice, nor does Marcy even think what she’s doing is wrong and manipulative! Again, it’s SUCH clever, twist-and-turns writing that overlaps and sews across, little plot threads coming across… Utterly brilliant, I love it!

          Now we’ll have to see who adapts to the chaos and the heat-of-the-moment better… Or at least, who’s able to get Anne on THEIR side, and that answer’s likely a lot more obvious. In addition to Sasha also having to deal with Andrias and HIS machinations, which are guiding Marcy’s… And the Toad Rebellion ain’t looking so good, if that one shot of Yunnan and a bunch of downed Toads is any indication. This is just taking Suspicion Island to a WHOLE new level, and Marcy’s the one that everybody missed and overlooked, they thought SHE was the fool, when in reality she was playing them all… Not maliciously nor super intentionally, but she’s operating on Andrias’ orders, so y’know.

          Even if Sasha could come toe-to-toe with Marcy, it’s a different issue if she doesn’t even anticipate the attack to begin with, doesn’t even realize Marcy’s a combatant and player in the ring herself; And THAT surprise is going to blindside her, before Sasha has the chance to adapt and make use of her own strength to win what should normally be a straight-forward conflict. Grime praised Sasha for playing Flip-Wart while the rest did Bog-Jump, but it seems it was MARCY who was actually doing this the entire time; Fitting, how she’s the only one we see who knows about the game and actually played it!

          Sasha could easily take on Marcy in a battle of strength, but that’s why Marcy has Anne to do this for her… Sasha, alas, for all of her seeming manipulations, is fundamentally more brute force than anything else; Which means she’s no match for Marcy’s wit, at least in conjunction with Andrias’ scheming! Marcy won’t meet Sasha on the battlefield, it’s Anne who’ll do that for her, leaving Sasha vulnerable on the tactical front… Hopefully Grime can help, but when there’s also the hidden ace-up-the-sleeve that is whatever Andrias is serving, and things don’t look too good for the Toad Rebellion!

          Just when we thought it was Marcy who was the mediator who’d turn the tides between Anne and Sasha… It seems it’s actually ANNE who’s the mediator, to turn the tides between Sasha and Marcy! It’s all up to, and all down to, Boonchuy… And alas, I don’t think Sasha can count on Anne for support at such a crucial moment junction, not when Anne can’t the same in return. It’s always the ones who seem silly and harmless that you gotta look out for… Well, them, and the giant Newt King who’s been alive longer than anyone else; Him, AND whatever’s in that basement…!

           I’ll say it again- But the way this all overlaps and fits perfectly into a place like a puzzle, all of it no doubt painstakingly planned out, so it all seems perfect and obvious to each person to do this... It’s SUCH fiendishly clever writing, and I admire it! I can almost see this as being additional karma for Sasha, who possibly low-key looked down on Marcy, or thought of her as dumb, given her apathy to Marcy’s own antics back home, and even mentioning that she’d get herself killed. Well, Sash, look who’s blindly following the path into danger, and will need to be saved by Anne, THIS time...! Guess you shouldn’t have underestimated Marcy and given her as much consideration and time of day, and respect, as Anne did... In general you need to take cues from Anne, actually. For all of Anne’s issues, she’s somehow the most well-rounded of the trio, and that is of course a CONCERNING relativity...

It’s just this total clash and train wreck of differing interests, circumstances and opportunities, accidents and twists that nobody could account for, and blind spots, all coming and crashing together into utter chaos, a mess nobody can predict, debris and shrapnel of characters and new plot points flying all over the place, and you can’t tear your eyes away from it as you watch in fascinated horror, utterly engrossed. I look FORWARD to this, the drama and weaving of threads makes me excited for the final picture and the completed puzzle...!

[iampresent]

okokokokok. guys. guys. hear me out.  OFMD and The Locked Tomb crossover AU. 

LISTEN. So Jod is like a pirate-lord-guy-thingy in charge of a whole-ass pirate fleet.  The insanely uncreative names of these ships (The Sixth, The Ninth) annoy Ed so much that he decides to pirate the fleet.  So he goes up to the ship that’s called The First (Canaan House) and is met by a startling mix of insanely loyal fighters who would never even THINK of betraying Jod, and people going “Please for the love of GOD get us the FUCK off this boat”.  And so Ed ends up kidnapping all the heirs to the pirate ships and their cavaliers, kinda by accident, and bringing them back to The Revenge (bc they don’t break up or something insane like that wdym?).

And. And. Ok here’s my list of interactions.

-Ed and Gideon.  Fucking perfection. My two ADHD gremlins just vibing together. Ed thinks Gideon’s puns are hilarious. This interaction is made even funnier (to me) by the fact that Tamsyn Muir imagines Jod to look like Taika Waititi.  Also Ed is a huge fan of Gideon’s longsword preference.

-Harrow and Buttons. Look i know you might be surprised but like.  Imagine if Buttons can see the body too.  They would literally just be like. chilling together.  I think he would be really good for her.  Buttons would, however, probably tell seagulls about the bone girl who is haunted but also like. Not stable. or ok. at all.  Just very much a weirdness squared kind of dynamic I need it so much.

-Camilla and Izzy Hands.  I literally just want to see them swordfight guys help I want to see Camilla beat Izzy’s ass seriously i really do.  But also some really cool parallels or contrasts between Camilla + Palamedes and Izzy + Ed.  Very juicy stuff there.

-Abigail and Magnus Pent (because she’s not dead, haha what?? Why would she be dead that’s crazy guys) adopts the entire crew. Full stop. Yes, including Ed and Stede.

-You know that post about Harrow being Palamedes’ poor little meow meow?  Yeah, Ianthe is Stede’s poor little meow meow.  Evidence: I think it would be hilarious.

-Judith Duetoros ends up being in charge of the chase for The Revenge, and she and Coronabeth are not at ALL quietly pining for each other.

-Later on Mercymorn and Augustine defect to the Revenge and that is just. 10/10 comedy

-The Revenge crew generally just thinks that the Ninth objectively cooler and better than any of the other pirate ships because of all the skulls.  Silas Octakierson is horrified by this fact.

-Harrow and Palamedes steal literally all of Stede’s books.  Like he goes into his quarters one day and they’re both just there and all the books are scattered on the floor and they’re discussing them and then they both look up at him like cats who have just been disturbed from a nap and Stede is just like “ok then”

-Ed steals Gideon’s sunglasses for the sole purpose of running up to Stede, tipping them down and smirking, to see what happens. Stede faints is what happens.  Gideon and Izzy are vibrating with anger in the background, Gideon because its HER sunglasses and she was gonna try that out on Harrow but now it will seem like she’s copying, and Izzy because ya know.  Izzy’s just like that.

-Also everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY, gets involved on betting how long it will take Harrow and Gideon to confess their love for each other. Like, every single person.  Because it’s the single most obvious thing on the entire ship.

So like... please add on if you have more please please please I want to see your thoughts

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Lies

Warning: Spoilers! And possibly having your heart torn into pieces. Other than that, have fun!

We open up with Marinette figuring out the recipes for the power ups as the new guardian.

I am disappointed that she still has not stopped oogooling over Adrien when he appeared on the news. Especially since she was allegedly with Luka by then. (I'll explain what I mean in just a minute)

Adrien was tired after the day he had as Adrien, which is a contrast of what Marinette believes his life is like. But being Chat Noir is the highlight of his day...

...only to not see Ladybug show up for patrols. And we see that it was all due to her figuring out the powerups.

Also, the patrols are a thing in cannon and I am still not over it after "Truth".

Chat Noir hoping for an akumatization so he can escape his civilian life radiated the same energy as Alya asking for akumatizations to interview the temporary heroes on her IG post. I get it, but still! We do not have people in danger for our needs.

Plagg being the one who announces any voice messages for Chat and asking for cheese through the feature on the Chat Phone brings me a whole other level of life.

Also, the whole milk thing at Le Grand Paris bar counter. It was hilarious, but also very sad. He really missed his m'lady

He ends the patrol after he saw Kagami training with her mom. And the smiles on his face! *Cries in Marichat and Ladynoir*

Plagg is the one that encourages Adrien to move on from Adrien, just like he applauded him from doing so in Loveater.

Kagami apparently said that fencing lessons are scheduled an hour in advance and Adrien (with that goofy grin on his face) knew what was up!

Both Ms. Tsurugi and Gabriel are very pissed at one another for the schedule change. That's hilarious, although everything comes at a price.

The parallels! Kagami is apparently learning Russian at her mother's request. Truly is a reflection of Adrien, civilian life wise.

Kagami? Lying???? The hell???? Who are you and what have you done to Kagami????? (Why am I surprised, y'all did this in Desperada)

She lies to their parents and the teacher to be in the art room with Adrien. I get it, teenage rebellion after being under an uninvolved parent, but still!

I like how the writers gave Kagami another dimension by saying she loves art, but her mom does not like her passion for drawing.

To Kagami's mom: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR DAUGHTER IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH???!!! HER DRAWINGS BELONG IN A MUSEUM!

Also, art reflecting the truth? Hmmm.....

Since people like mentioning that Marinette has a thing for people with absent parents after "Truth", I will now say that Adrien has a thing for people who are great at drawing. I do not take criticism.

Kagami is hinting that Adrien's civilian life is not his true self (thank you for understanding him!)...

...but also says that being a "clown" (it was the Chat pose) is also not who he really is. The fandom would disagree with you. Although that brings up the question of whether both personalities merge to form who he really is and cannot be seen completely by anyone in any part of his life. But he is more like Chat Noir regardless.

Also, I want to see Adrien and Kagami spend more time together prior to this episode to see why she was not pleased with him being a clown if that's who he truly is, because her repositioning him against the wall made me feel like she is trying to place Adrien into a mold that reflects the image she might have created in her mind. (I don't know, this was just the first thought that came in my mind.)

They almost kiss, with Adrien being taken into shock (not terrified as we thought) until the alarm saying they have fencing lessons starting interrupts them and Adrien runs out, not before BLUSHING LIKE HELLO?!?!?

This is what I referred to in my second point and confirms what everyone was saying about this episode: this is "Truth", but through Adrien's perspective. Finally, an Adrien-centered episode!!!

To continue, every time Adrien and Kagami are together or were about to kiss, a sentimonster appears, with Ladybug trying to do something about it. Just like Lukanette, just like Adrigami: being a superhero affects your love life as a civilian.

Chat being thrown off the roof by accident and being rescued will never get old or less funny lol.

Montages continues up until the boat scene, where Adrien missed the intro to the performance, but I will never get over the fact as to how Adrien made it there before Marinette. It is beyond me.

Kagami not letting Adrien stay for 5 more minutes. Hmm...

Their cute moment together was what will lead to the demise of Adrigami as Kagami noticed he dropped the infamous lucky charm bracelet. *le gasp!

Why *le gasp*? Because 1) I fear it symbolizes that something will happen to Adrienette or that Adrien has forgotten about her, and 2) Wait until later.

Kagami revealed she lied so she can spend more time with Adrien alone, lying about leaving rehearsal earlier, lying about the fencing lessons rescheduling, and who else knows what else so she can be with him.

She tells him she loves him. But Adrien notices Ladybug and an Akuma. Oh boy, he wasn't able to give her any attention.

Because he left towards the direction of the boat (and said he left something there), Kagami used that to conclude it had something to do with Marinette. Oh boy.

Either I missed an entire scene about Ladybug knowing ShadowMoth's name, or we were not supposed to know how they know until this episode. It feels out of place to me, but oh well.

"I..am...AN INCREDIBLE SWIMMER!" still cracks me up even when I know how important it was in protecting her secret identity.

Happy Birthday Prince Ali!

Apparently, Kagami lied that her mom was in charge of watching over Adrien (or maybe not? I can't tell at this point.)

Yep, Kagami believes that Adrien is going after Marinette and probably resents them both if her facial expression says anything

We get to see that Ladynoir moment from "Truth"!! I love these two and their banter.

Adrienette stans, not much has changed. Adrien was concerned that he lost the Lucky Charm bracelet, for real. But said again because he though he would be clear of the lie since he thought he had it on him.

Kagami confronts him with it. AND THIS IS HIS SHOCKED FACE SCENE FROM THE TRAILER!!!

Thinking that she lies to get out of being with her, she leaves. With the bracelet. The leaving part is understandable, especially because she does not know about him being Chat Noir or what entails him to do. But why take the bracelet???

Adrien is also saddened by what happened. He also liked her.

We've never seen that part of city hall. Well designed in my opinion.

She was the akuma in City Hall with the glowing sphere! We were right!!!

Adrien feels guilty, though it is not really his fault. He has a duty to Paris!

Why is the music sounding different in French.

Jagged Stone. How do I feel about you after learning you purposefully abandoned Luka and apparently Juleka? Also, what's with the song??? (Rhetorical question. Do not answer)

We were wrong about Kagami's power: it paralyzes people who lie, not kill everything in its path.

Jagged, you abandoned your children. And you apparently lied about your age?!?!?! Both episodes show something about Jagged Stone that make him seem like an awful person on the inside.

Ladybug, how do you know about Lies's powers?!?!? There is a hole in the plot here! Unless there were other paralyzed civilians that gave her power a dead giveaway.

Chat Noir, if you lie as a civilian for whatever reason, of course Ladybug will too, since as a civilian, you need to lie to keep your secret identity a secret. Same rules apply to Ladybug, especially as the guardian.

The Lucky Charm is a drone, not a camera like I thought. How the hell did I get into an ivy if I can't tell the difference?!?!

Chat Noir pretending to lie is funny. It might also be his peppy attitude to lying. Also, his funnier version of ShadowMoth's name.

Ladybug finds the akumatized object and gasps. I wonder if its only a eureka moment or also the fact that she recognizes the bracelet, especially if its custom made.

Brutally honest people does not exist (we have all lied at some point, even Kagami who is usually brutally honest with people), but animals can't lie.

Fang being involved in destroying the akuma is cool.

This is the moment that we dreaded so much, yet knew was coming: CHAT NOIR DIES!

JK! He actually is paralyzed by truth because he jumped into the glowing orb. We were right that this is an anguishing scene to watch, but we're wrong about the part that he's killed. Yet, he still unnecessarily sacrificed himself and caused Ladybug to be angst about it.

WHAT IS UP WITH CHAT NOIR BEING HAPPY ABOUT SACRIFICING HIMSELF?!?!? AND DO NOT SAY ITS BECAUSE HE TRUSTS LADYBUG!

Yes Ladybug. Chat is crazy. And also crazy for you. And you are right about the crazy unconscious part. My Ladynoir heart!

ShadowMoth almost won until Fang bit off the charm bracelet. Thanks Fang!

Chat backing away from Fang licking him is a mood.

My favorite Ladynoir moment of the evening: Ladybug telling Chat to stop sacrificing himself and Chat saying she likes her adorable angry face. Her smirk afterwards.. And then their pound it.

But no seriously Chat. You need to stop doing that to Ladybug. She cannot take it anymore

Plagg said that even if Adrien loves someone else, he is likely to go back to Ladybug. Just like he goes back to Camembert. Seriously, despite his cheese analogies, he gives great wisdom.

Not Kagami almost beating up Adrien during his fencing lessons. And Mr. D'Angercourt notices this too as he stopped Kagami's final blow.

Also, isn't it illegal in fencing to push people? Oh boy.

And there's the Adrigami breakup scene: Adrien telling Kagami that he enjoys their time together and Kagami knowing their is sincerity in him. It is sort of unclear who actually ended things when Adrien asks if they could still be friends, but Kagami ends it all by saying that she will let him know once she can face him again. Ouch.

Adrien is hurt and stares at the lucky charm bracelet with what looks like sadness. Once again ouch.

Like Lukanette, I want to see Adrien and Kagami be happy together at least until halfway through this season. The issue is that it will hurt them more in the end.

Also, I noticed the difference between Luka and Kagami when ending their respective relationships. It hurt them both, but Kagami was more forward about it and Luka was somewhat passive. It could be based on what they know about their now exes (Luka knew that Marinette had feelings for Adrien and was not secretive about it even when they were together if the truths her friends said and the opening scene to this episode reflect this, whereas Kagami only has a suspicion and Adrien does not say anything regarding to it.

Also, I really did not like how the breakup on this end resulted in. While more realistic for a lot of people, it did not help that it involved Kagami as there are people who will go after Kagami after watching this episode, and I believe that the writers know this. Kagami is a good person who has a different response to the trust issues and lack of communication, as well as lies in their relationship. Not saying its a perfect one, but an understandable one. In conclusion, don't trash Kagami, especially if you saw this coming.

I take back what I said before; this is my favorite Ladynoir scene. I want to hug them both because they have to lie and keep secrets from everyone, even have some secrets between themselves! But at least they can trust each other! Excuse me while I cry over how much we are being fed. Also, the fact that they broke up with their respective partners makes this both heartwarming and heart breaking.

Overall, this episode is just as good as Lies! It is the first fully Adrien-centered episode, which makes this a first and already exciting. While I did not like how their breakup was handled, it was realistic and showed that honesty and communication are important. Also, can my children be happy together for longer than an episode??? I swear, their pain hurts me.

But at least Ladybug and Chat Noir have each other's company to get them through. May us Ladynoir stans continue to be fed!

[melatovnik]

ok ur top faves wangxian fics go

hey yati! 🥰️

alright, so first things first, here’s a big wangxian fic rec list i made a while ago, if you wanna check that one out too! consider the list below part 2. these are all my faves so far since my last rec list (as you'll quickly see, i have a LOT of faves).

and just a fyi/psa/disclaimer for anyone reading this: some of these fics have disturbing themes and/or kinky/freaky sex! make sure to check the authors’ tags and notes before reading. also, much like my first rec list, there’s going to be a mix of mdzs and cql canon, characterizations, dynamics, etc., so bear that in mind.

....ok GO

live from new york by varnes | rated E | 87K words | THE snl au fic!!!! yes, by snl i mean saturday night live. this is perhaps the best and funniest story i've ever read, period. varnes is a fucking genius. read this fic.

Wei Ying lets out a long, ugly groan. “I am fine, Lan Zhan. Everybody is overreacting, it’s so embarrassing for all of you.”

“You had undiagnosed pneumonia, which you walked around with for weeks until you passed out during dress,” Lan Wangji corrects him. “It got a big laugh, until everyone thought you were dead.”

He keeps his voice even and does not tell Wei Ying that it had been Lan Wangji who caught him, who called the ambulance, and who rode with him to the hospital, where he was yelled at by nurses who wanted to know why he hadn’t noticed that Wei Ying couldn’t stop shivering or string proper sentences together.

“Rumors of my demise have been vastly overstated,” Wei Ying says. “Anyway, I’m already feeling much better. Basically fine. Really almost completely back to normal, so stop babying me and tell me why the fuck you let your stupid brother hire the worst man in the world to host our show.”

-

OR: the one where they all work at SNL, Yanli's ex-boyfriend is hosting, and that's just the beginning of everybody's problems.

swiss cheese theory by varnes | rated M | 19K words | sequel to snl au fic!!!!!! another must-read.

The Swiss Cheese model of accident causation likens human system defences to a series of slices of randomly-holed Swiss Cheese arranged vertically and parallel to each other with gaps in-between each slice. Defences against failure are modelled as a series of barriers, represented as slices of the cheese. The holes in the cheese slices represent individual weaknesses in individual parts of the system. The system as a whole produces failures when holes in all of the slices momentarily align, permitting "a trajectory of accident opportunity," so that a hazard passes through holes in all of the defences, leading to an accident.

OR: Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian go to the courthouse.

OR: “Sweethearts,” the city clerk had said, very gently, “you’re already married.”

best friends forever by varnes | rated T | 17K words | alright, so like, strictly speaking, wangxian isn't the focus of this fic, BUT. this fic is so good!! it is seriously so good, and it made me fall in love with jin ling/lan jingyi. also, it's varnes, so read it!

It happened like this: Jin Ling was a sect leader now, which was, and Jingyi really meant this, fucking hilarious. There were few things funnier, in his honest opinion.

Because he was young, and inexperienced, and also — it had to be said — a real shithead, there was apparently some belief amongst his advisors that the best way forward, to promote the picture of a stable, mature sect leader who absolutely did not cry at the drop of a hat, was for Jin Ling to get married.

-

OR: Jin Ling and Jingyi get engaged.

Things spiral from there.

For a Good Time, Call by ScarlettStorm | rated E | 171K words

The picture is of Wei Ying, that much is clear. It’s of a lot more of Wei Ying than Lan Zhan is used to seeing. He supposes that, technically, Wei Ying is dressed. It’s a bare technicality, since one of Wei Ying’s hands has rucked up his black tank top practically to his collarbone, showing a long expanse of abdomen and one nipple. Sweat beads on his sternum, catching the light like jewels. His other hand is--Lan Zhan feels his eyes widen, as though unable to look away from a train wreck--on his hip, one thumb tugging down the waistband of a pair of red briefs. Wei Ying is biting his lower lip and looking directly into the camera, sultry, his eyes dark and inviting. His erection is obvious, outlined against the red of the briefs and framed carefully with the hand on his hip. Lan Zhan’s brain goes wildly, screamingly blank.

Or: Lan Zhan accidentally finds his best friend's OnlyFans account and has an ongoing emotional crisis.

love, in fire and blood by cicer | rated E | 360K words | i actually haven't finished this one since i was reading it when it was a WIP, i need to reread it and catch up fjdskl;fjsd, but i love it very much!!!!!! oh my god he wanted to look nice for his husband..... 🙃 [screams with mouth closed]

"You want Wen Ruohan dead," the Patriarch continued idly. "You want his corpse puppets eliminated. You want his halls burned to the ground and his soldiers disemboweled and begging for mercy. Have I about covered it?"

He gave another knife-edged smile.

"But what will you give me in return?"

"We would be willing to offer quite a bit in return for Wen Ruohan's defeat," Lan Xichen admitted. "But I'm afraid we don't know what an immortal such as yourself desires. Please advise us."

The Patriarch waved at hand at the front of the tent. "I want Second Young Master Lan."

(In which the Sunshot Campaign ends through an arranged marriage to the Yiling Patriarch, and Lan Wangji suffers the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with his own husband.)

how to fall in love with a catfish: a guide by wei wuxian (disaster rat) by bwyn & Yuisaki | rated T | 55K words

A new plan hatches in Wei Wuxian’s head. If this nocturnal, bottom-feeding, slimy, invasive mudcat posing as a beautiful actor thinks he can sway Wei Wuxian with animal pictures and a sob story and an unbelievably stilted way of texting with still no dick pictures in the first five minutes of conversation, he has another thing coming. Wei Wuxian’s got it, alright, he has this in the fucking bag.

~

Wei Wuxian plots to expose a catfish using strategic memes and turtle pictures while wiggling his way out of family dinner. Lan Wangji just wants companions.

there’s no promised goodbye here by Yuisaki | rated T | 54K words

Jiang Cheng stares at him. “Didn’t you say you broke up five months ago?”

“Yeah.”

“So why do you have a picture of you two kissing taped to your fridge?”

“Because we’re too broke for magnets,” Wei Wuxian explains, then considers that statement. “Well, I’m too broke for magnets. Lan Zhan probably refuses to buy them because he’s trying to have lofty ideas about the moral failings of materialism.”

~

Wei Wuxian navigates the trials of living with his ex-boyfriend in apartment 1301.

paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 | rated E | 54K words

To say that he runs to his car would be incorrect, as he is a Lan, and running is both undignified and unnecessary unless in immediate danger. Nor does he slam his key into the ignition, or aggressively swerve around the cars on the freeway, or have a mild panic attack at the fact he is picking A-Yuan up late from school for the first time ever.

He comes close, though.

By the time he arrives, it’s 4:35PM, and he has imagined about fifty different worse-case scenarios. The door is partly open when he gets to it, a messy label of 104B—Art Room scrawled with chalk on a placard next to the faded wood. As he opens it fully, he expects to see a wailing, terrified child, or perhaps a scene of utter misery and betrayal.

What he finds is his son, hands covered in paint, being sung to by a beautiful, dark-haired stranger.

“Ducks live in the pond, yellow ducks, happy ducks!”

Lan Wangji stops in his tracks.

(Or: Falling in love with your son’s art teacher, in five parts)

a paper friend by sunzu | rated G | 5K words

Lan Wangji finds a paperman far from its body and helps get it home.

-Or-

Lan Wangji unknowingly meets Wei Wuxian for the first time.

All Caught Up by brooklinegirl | rated E | 37K words

"Betrothed," Wei Ying says indignantly.

Lan Wangji can't stop his gaze from darting up to him. Wei Ying understands. Wei Ying is looking at him, wide-eyed and upset on his behalf.

"And you don't even like her," Wei Ying says.

"I don't even know her," Lan Wangji says quietly.

"But even if you did—" Wei Ying starts.

"I wouldn't want this," Lan Wangji finishes.

Lead Me On Through by mrsronweasley | rated E | 55K words | oh look another canon-era practice kissing fic fjdskfl;ds

"Who do you think your betrothed is?" Wei Wuxian asks, sprawling out in front of Lan Zhan and enjoying the prim thinning of his lips at the question. He shouldn't be sprawling—they're in the library, for one, and Lan Zhan is studying, for another—but he can't help himself. Wei Wuxian is a sprawler.

"I do not believe this to be of importance," Lan Zhan responds, without turning his gaze away from his book.

"What!" Wei Wuxian sits up. "How can you say that? Of course it's important! This is the person you'll be with for the rest of your life, Lan Zhan."

I Started From the Bottom/And Now I'm Rich by x_los | rated E | 58K words | ok so i know that in my spiel above i said to mind the tags, etc., but actually pay no mind to the first two relationship tags for this fic. i PROMISE that this isn't that sort of dead dove fic fjdksl;fjs;lifkj. i. it. it's wangxian. don't sweat it. don't even trip. just—this fic fucking rules. it's completely insane and it slaps. wei ying is a girlboss and a bitch and i like her So Much

“First, you get the money. Then you get the power, respect - hos come last.”

Wen Qing traps Wei Wuxian in the Demon Slaughtering Cave, but Wei Wuxian isn’t interested in being the beneficiary of the Wen Remnants’ noble sacrifice. His efforts to free himself accidentally send him back to the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign. Coreless but armed with demonic cultivation, knowledge of the future and his wits, Wei Wuxian takes advantage of this opportunity to come out on top of both the war and its aftermath—before either has a chance to happen—by marrying and swiftly burying the cultivation world’s worst men.

Lan Wangji is confused, hurt, and uncomfortably aroused by Wei Wuxian’s improbably elaborate series of Sect-themed bridal negligees.

rather cruelly used and rather reserved by x_los | rated M | 14K words

In the month between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian leaving Yi City and their attending the cultivation conference in Lanling, Wei Wuxian discovers a locked room in the Jingshi. It is a mystery that clever and curious Wei Wuxian is doing everything in his power to avoid solving.

But the rose was awake all night for your sake/Knowing your promise to me by x_los | rated E | 8K words | resentment tenties~

The resentful energy occupying Wei Wuxian's body like an enemy army is very interested in giving him Lan Wangji, tied up with a bow.

Wei Wuxian is hoping that Lan Wangji (who is far too noble and very keen to save Wei Wuxian's misguided soul) doesn't find out about any aspect of that.

Mo Money, Mo Problems by x_los | rated M | 3K words

After the Mo family perishes in distressing and mysterious circumstances, Wei Wuxian, still reeling from his reincarnation, tries to dip back into their manor for a little travelling money. (Forward planning! What a concept!) Lan Wangji catches him immediately, and is highly unimpressed (read: furious) with Wei Wuxian’s decision to run away from him in the first place.

Standing Engagement by x_los | rated M | 18K words

Lan Wangji believes he and Wei Wuxian are essentially engaged. While they search for his missing betrothed, he accidentally reveals as much to Jiang Wanyin. Now everyone in the cultivation world knows about the imminent marriage, except for Wei Wuxian himself.

Coming Back to Yourself by acernor | rated E | 22K words | genital swapping for fun and nonprofit!

Lan Wangji gets cursed with a ~woman's body~ and has to orgasm to go back. Since he's 1) a virgin 2) super repressed and 3) SUPER gay, he has no idea what to do.

If only he had a super nosy friend who's read lots of erotic novels who could help him figure out what to do... hm...

Save a Sword by etymologyplayground | rated E | 5K words | a fic inspired by the above fic!

Lan WangJi presses a kiss into his throat, which draws a shivering whine from him. "Like this," he agrees, his voice so low. Then he slides one warm elegant hand down Wei WuXian's chest to his belly, and then to his — to his —

--

fan ending for acernor's fabulous masterpiece "coming back to yourself" because i'm a huge goofball and that fic fucks

Our Eyes on the Road by etymologyplayground | rated E | 23K words | brought to you by lore (the author) and Orville Peck's hit song Drive Me, Crazy

Lan Zhan is silent for a long moment, and the van's speakers quietly pipe the second song on the album into the empty space between them. Then Lan Zhan shifts his hand a little on Wei Ying's leg, presses his fingers once into the meat of his thigh. "Alright," he says.

"Alright," Wei Ying echoes in a wheeze.

"Is that better?" Lan Zhan checks, because he is a good boy. Then he spreads his fingers out a little wider, because he is evil and must be stopped.

-

Lan Zhan is driving to Chicago. Wei Ying tags along.

Worship you till morning comes by feyburner | rated E | 7K words

A meet-cute, a first date, a sleepover.

Let's take a ride round the curves of desire by feyburner | rated E | 6K words | yeah........... uhh, yeah.

Wei Ying was sprawled on the floor in front of the oscillating fan when Lan Zhan got home from work.

The Roots Grow Riotous by hansbekhart | rated E | 105K words | a beautifully crafted, emotionally harrowing fic. i should warn you (since it's not quite tagged as such) that while wangxian is endgame, the overall story doesn't have the sort of happily-ever-after ending you might expect. i’ve seen it described as open-ended but hopeful and cathartic, which i find to be a pretty accurate assessment

Sometimes Lan Zhan doesn’t work through lunch. Sometimes he makes conversation with coworkers in the halls. Sometimes he goes home instead of spending the last hour trawling through Grindr. But mostly, that’s exactly what he does. The sameness is comforting. His life spools out in easily measured increments: capsule collections, yards of hand dyed textiles, ninety day lead times, sell through figures, cost of goods sold.

Every date in manufacturing can be calculated backwards and forward from a single horizon point: the date that the goods must arrive into the country where they'll be sold. Other than that, nothing else really matters.

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie | rated E | 76K words | i can't recall a fic ever affecting me as much as this one did. one of the best stories i've ever read. so, so, so crushingly beautiful. it's viscerally distressing/upsetting at times, especially at the start, so please heed the tags and author's note (they provide a way to skip the beginning scene if needed)!

That’s just the thing, isn’t it? Wei Ying feels nothing. He doesn’t feel anything, and this emptiness should scare him. He knows he should be scared. He wants to be scared. He isn’t. Fear itself is never scary; fear is just a response. It means that your body wants you alive. It’s the absence of terror that scares him.

请兔子吃晚饭; treating a bunny to dinner by yiqie | rated T | 3K words | read this one to recover from the above fic

It’s not really about the food. Being able to share it in the same space is its own kind of magic.

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie | rated E | 69K words | and then read this one to feel harrowed again, this time in canon-verse!

Wei Wuxian has certainly hoped so ardently in his two lifetimes, for so many different things, in so many different ways, that he could have summoned the demon to his front door with his bare hands. His eyes wander to Lan Zhan, settle on the back of his head, the blue-black curtain of his hair. Oh, how he has hoped.

在此恭迎夷陵老祖; to yiling laozu, the great and venerable by yiqie | rated M | 7K words | read this one to recover from the above fic (this time in canon-verse)

“You don’t know? In Yiling, there’s a tree at the edge of town, one that stands at the fringes of where the city ends and the Burial Mounds begin, called the Lover’s Tree. They say if you write a letter and nail it to its branches, Yiling Laozu will receive it, and he’ll reply.”

你的阳光下; wanna hide in your light by yiqie | rated T | 2K words | :')

Lan Zhan shuts off the water before it can start getting cold, because Wei Ying still needs to take one. Any other day, Wei Ying would have slunk in, pretending to be annoyed that Lan Zhan started without him, and neither of them would have want for hot water, but Wei Ying is still asleep.

From my heart's ground. by orange_crushed | rated E | 38K words | get (orange) CRUSHED!!!!!!!

After a while he can feel a palm against his face, gentle fingers soft and soothing. It’s not real, not exactly: he can tell the difference between a ghost’s touch and a living person’s, between a spirit-vision and an overactive imagination. His education has been thorough. But the beating has also been thorough, so for now he forgets what he knows and leans into it, into the hand cupping his cheek. It’s soft and dry as those forgotten petals, as the touch of a pillow. He can smell wildflowers, can taste blood and dirt. My baby, his mother says, and he closes his eyes. My treasure. He barely remembers the sound of her voice, but the feeling of it is just the same. Just the same as ever.

[In which Lan Wangji loses almost everything, plants a garden, and grows a second chance.]

Pentimento. by orange_crushed | rated E | 73K words | this fic briefly gave me a serious case of career envy :/ ......but seriously, this is an absolute must-read!!!

When Wangji was eighteen he’d walked into the first class of his fall semester painting module and there’d been a boy in a hilariously ugly floppy knit hat sitting cross-legged on the floor at the front of the room. He’d had a sheet of canvas paper taped to his board and his board clamped between his legs and a tackle box of brushes and tubes—a real fishing tackle box, with a fish-shaped logo on it that said BASS, not one of the nice art supply storage boxes they sold in the campus bookstore, like the one Wangji was carrying—open beside him. Everyone else had settled into the rows of stools and easels, but that boy had stayed on the floor for the whole two hour and thirty minute studio. Wangji had looked at him and thought, that idiot’s back is going to hurt.

[Former best friends Lan Wangji, paintings conservator, and Wei Wuxian, art handler, meet again and realize... neither of them were actually in unrequited love.]

Many happy returns. by orange_crushed | rated E | 25K words

His fingers are still clasped between Wangji's. In the mirror Wangji watches him tuck his coat between his thighs so that he can fuss with the tucked-in hem of his shirt, tousle up the side of his hair, all one-handed. "I hope what I'm wearing is okay."

"It's good," Wangji says. "You look good."

"I guess I must," Wei Ying says, and then he smiles and bites his teeth into his bottom lip for a second, devastatingly, and before Wangji can drop dead the doors to the elevator slide open, and the hostess station appears.

[In which lonely businessman Lan Wangji meets the right wrong person and changes the course of his life.]

The dreamers. by orange_crushed | rated E | 17K words

“Stop mothering me,” Wei Ying protests. “Why don’t you ever listen?” He scowls at Wangji, but then the lure of the clean water is too much; he sits grumbling and strips off his vambraces and loosens the collar of his robes and wipes himself down in the steam. Wangji sits on a stool and watches him, and after a while Wei Ying slaps the rag into the bowl and glares back. “Are you going to sit and stare the whole time?” he demands. “You want to see me strip naked and give my filthy evil self a good scrubbing, huh?”

Yes, Wangji thinks.

[This is a story about a horrible war and a beautiful dream; about grabbing happiness where you can find it, and not letting go.]

mercy, tear it down. by orange_crushed | rated E | 31K words

“You want me to call you good?” Wangji says. “To make you feel good?” Wei Ying makes a wretched, soft, surprised sound in the back of his throat. “Then will you be good?”

“Uh,” Wei Ying says. His lashes flick down again, nervously. “Good how?”

Wangji hasn’t quite thought that far ahead.

Kingfisher Feathers by Anonymous | rated E | 83K words | WIP (7/10 chapters, last updated 4/13/21) | omg omegaverse!!!! @/ this anon author... keep up the great work! also i have feelings for u

With an almost trance-like detachment, Wei Wuxian touched his own neck, his fingers skimming over the fresh mark. The bite wound had stopped bleeding, although he had no doubts it would open again if agitated.

Bonded.

He was bonded for life.

"Shit," he whispered. He looked over at the sleeping form of Lan Wangji—the Second Prince of Gusu and, until his brother was found, the sole heir to the throne. "Oh, shit. Lan Qiren is going to kill me."

----------

Lan Wangji goes into a fevered rut and accidentally bonds with Wei Wuxian. When they next meet, he remembers none of it, and Wei Wuxian is determined to keep the bond a secret—even when he's sent to the Cloud Recesses to be a consort in Lan Wangji's harem.

(tl;dr concubine!wwx is already married to emperor!lwj, who has no idea. drama ensues.)

Pull out game weak by 74243 | rated E | 23K words | featuring the hottest meanest dom top lesbian lwj of your wildest dreams. i hope ao3 user 74243 is having an amazing day

Wei Ying swipes right.

Extra Time by Anonymous | rated E | 28K words | fic inspired by the above fic! seriously good

How Wei Ying learned to stop worrying and love the strap (an AU of 74243's Pull out game weak)

Superfan by 74243 | rated E | 19K words | ao3 user 74243 writing banger after banger as per usual

“I’m not going to apologize for my job,” Wei Ying said, “so if you want to give me some kind of lecture--”

“No,” Lan Zhan said. “You misunderstood. I am...” she paused, as if considering the best way to put it. “I’m a fan.”

Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes by 74243 | rated E | 7K works | i'm just going to list all of ao3 user 74243's fics, ok? that's what's gonna happen here

Wei Wuxian was a little surprised herself, although she felt bad for being surprised. Of course it didn’t really mean anything about you, how you presented, Wei Wuxian knew that better than anyone, but all the same it was hard to reconcile Lan Zhan as an omega.

(wwx makes an error of judgment)

If the shoe fits by 74243 | rated E | 8K words

Wei Ying loses a bet.

the And they were roommates series by 74243 | rated E | 19K words total

That was the other thing, when Wei Ying had moved in. She’d scented Lan Zhan immediately, the sandalwood and smoke rising off her, almost before she’d taken in Lan Zhan’s straight posture, her narrowed eyes. She’d known that Lan Zhan could tell, too. At the end, when they’d talked about the rent and Lan Zhan’s nearly finished PhD and Wei Ying’s working hours, Wei Ying had said, casual and effortless, “And you don’t mind that I’m an omega.”

“No,” Lan Zhan said.

Chef's kiss by 74243 | rated E | 7K words

Wei Ying said, “You know, in some ways I’m kind of depressed. I took your biggest dick on my first try. Now I don’t have anything to build up to.”

“There are bigger ones available,” Lan Zhan said lazily. “I can pay for express shipping.”

(Lan Zhan works the late shift.)

Gold-palmed Warrior Quest! by 74243 | rated E | 13K words

When Lan Wangji suggested that they camp along the way to the Unclean Realm, rather than staying at inns, Wei Wuxian had been sceptical.

Dway! by 74243 | rated E | 6K words

“Hm,” Wei Ying said. “You like it rough, though, right? You seem like that kind of alpha.” When she saw Lan Zhan’s expression she raised an eyebrow. “What? Was I wrong? Are you tender and sweet? Do you cry?”

“You were not wrong,” Lan Zhan said. “I do not cry. Do you?”

tgif by 74243 | rated E | 17K words

Today Lan Zhan says that if Wei Ying cannot control her mouth then she will have to tape it shut.

On the ground by 74243 | rated E | 5K words

“I think you will like it,” Lan Zhan said.

Does your mother know by 74243 | rated E | 5K words | editing this rec list on a monday morning to add this brand new fic fresh off the presses. thank u ao3 user 74243 for feeding us so well 🙏

“Lan Zhan is such a well-behaved girl,” Madam Yu said.

all that and more by Euphorion | rated E | 20K words

Wei Wuxian locks his phone and puts it down, blinks at his ceiling, and picks it up again. The pictures are still there.

His first thought is that Lan Zhan meant them for someone else. That he just woke up at—he checks the timestamp—6:30 am on a Sunday and decided to go absolute full nuclear seduction option on some poor boy he met on Grindr, who would now be missing out on the best thing to ever happen to him because Wei Wuxian had a bad habit of distracting—of—oh.

Pieces of last night start to resurface and paste themselves together in his head. He winces.

The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones | rated E | 77K words | of my faves, this is one of my favorite... faves. top faves. incredibly fun and silly and hot. just... oh my GOD, wei YING!

“I know! Why don’t you try it? Let me go and I’ll lend it to you!” Wei Wuxian bribed hysterically, desperate to escape from this encounter by any means necessary. And then, his eyes blew wide, realizing what he just said. ‘Wait— just what am I offering Lan Zhan?!’ he thought. How was he so stupid, how did he just offer that without thinking—

“You want me...to use it… after you?” Lan Zhan asked, his voice unusually faint.

~*~

Wei Wuxian's test of mysterious, literally magical sex toy goes awry when Lan Wangji finds him in the woods 'experimenting' with it and it ends up in Lan Wangji's possession.

Unfortunately, neither of them is aware that the toy is anchored to Wei Wuxian's body. Too bad Wei Wuxian invited him to try it.

Boy Trouble, We've Got Double by saltyfeathers | rated E | 60K words | !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is a really good fic

Lan Zhan stands there in his immaculate, cloud-patterned Lan robes, watching him calmly, one fist tucked up against his back. “I am betrothed.”

Wei Wuxian blinks. “Are you…” He tries to laugh. Again, it sounds inhuman. “Is this about last night? Are you mad at me? I only remember some of it, Lan Zhan. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’m sure whatever I did I was just—” He gestures uselessly. He remembers being warm in Lan Zhan’s lap. He remembers fitting snugly in Lan Zhan’s lap. Wrapping his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck. Nosing at his jaw. “…playing around.”

“This has nothing to do with you, Wei Wuxian.”

none in the forest so bright as these by saltyfeathers | rated E | 6K words

Wei Wuxian puts a hand to his head, brain lost in fog. “Lan Zhan,” he pants. “Why are we here? Are we on a hunt?”

As Lan Zhan tries to remember, his brow furrows. He shakes his head slightly. “I don’t know.”

“This is bad,” Wei Wuxian says. When Lan Zhan cups his cheek again, sparks burst behind Wei Wuxian’s eyes. “Or maybe it’s not,” he says unthinkingly. Sighs, almost. Lan Zhan looks at his own arm like it's betrayed him. Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and presses his face into Lan Zhan’s palm. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” he murmurs. “What’s happening to us?”

out in the garden, there’s things you hid away by saltyfeathers | rated E | 121K words | oww oww oww 😣😣😣💘

There is a man with empty eye sockets and tears of fire in Wei Wuxian’s dreams. Tendrils of smoke curl around him in sleep, pressing at his most vulnerable spots, seeking entrance, slipping between his ribs.

When he ignores Lan Zhan's offers of help, he declines rapidly. He will die. Or, he should. Anyone else would.

Instead, he flees. And transforms.

crawling through your door by saltyfeathers | rated E | 12K words

Lan Wangji kisses him. When he pulls away, he speaks into the silence between them, because when he is with Wei Ying, he so rarely considers. “Why don’t you touch me anymore?”

Lan Zhan Works for the Historical Society by saltyfeathers | rated E | 7K words | some real real good lesbian action up in here

Pretty Lan Zhan. Beautiful Lan Zhan. Ice queen Lan Zhan. So intimidating and femme and coldly polite in public, yet meaner than a man in the bedroom. Wei Ying has slept with men before and none of them were mean-nice to her like Lan Zhan.

threadfic by saltyfeathers | not rated (each chapter rated/tagged individually) | 34K+ words | WIP (11/? chapters, last updated 3/15/21), but it’s a collection of stand-alone oneshots

semi cleaned-up wangxian twitter threadfic.

【已經打動我的心】So Sing To Me All Night by aroceu | rated T | 10K words | arrow writes wei ying so exquisitely well. i was weepy the whole time read this fic. for the best experience, i recommend following along with the accompanying spotify playlist.

No one listens to the radio in this day and age, but somehow from a bunch of left clicking and right clicking, through Facebook and Twitter and Youtube, Wei Ying finds himself on the WQHS homepage—the UPenn student radio station, promising eclectic tastes from a variety of hosts. Wei Ying can't remember giving a shit about his old college's student radio before he dropped out, but it's eleven at night and he has nothing else better to do. He clicks on the button that says Listen Here! and waits to be impressed.

get wild by aroceu | rated E | 24K words | 🔥🏀🔥 BASKETBALL FIC 🔥🏀🔥

He was looking for a specific reaction—to get Lan Zhan to lash out. All hard edges and demanding, the same way during the first scrim, Lan Zhan's dark voice had made him loose and obedient, itching to both rebel and obey at the same time.

It's them, whatever it is, but it doesn't belong on the basketball court.

~

Wei Ying didn't expect to enter a weird... something-with-benefits-plus-power-play with the captain of the Gusu basketball team. He's not sure if it's worth it.

without a warning by aroceu | rated T | 10K words | 🥺️🥺️🥺️

“Blegh,” Wei Ying says. “I hate being sick, Lan Zhan… my throat is so sore… why do I talk so much?”

“Stop talking then,” Lan Zhan says.

“You don’t mean that,” Wei Ying says, in his half-asleep daze. “I know you’ll never admit it, Lan Zhan, but you like it when I talk.”

your honor i’m a freak bitch by aroceu | rated E | 6K words

Wei Ying gestures to his outfit. His hands are buried deep within the hoodie; he’s mostly gesturing with the sleeves. “Well, it works with the whole get up, you see?”

“The…” Lan Zhan looks down at where his fingers are toying with the top of Wei Ying’s thigh highs. Wei Ying pretends he is not shivering. “…skirt. And these stockings.”

“Thigh highs, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying says, batting at him with the end of a sleeve.

Play It By Ear by aroceu | rated T | 7K words | MY HEART !!!

In the virtual airplane flying over the island, appropriately called Yiling, Lan Zhan watches as bits and pieces of the island load in. There are many Statues of David, a gothic teacup ride, and, from what Lan Zhan can see, an entire field of spoiled turnips.

hanguang-jun @/hanguangjun Do you need turnips to sell?

timmy and tommy in a trenchcoat @/yilinglaozu oh! no haha! 😅 those are from a while ago but my brother insists i keep them there

for the ~aesthetic~

the key that our souls were singing by aroceu | rated M | 5K words

“I haven’t seen you since—Gusu, was it?” Wei Ying says. “Oh my god, it’s been so long. I didn’t even know you were LGBT! Unless you’re here as an ally, which is also totally cool—”

“No, I.” Lan Zhan coughs. Her throat feels dry. “I am a lesbian.”

abort retry fail by aroceu | rated E | 21K words

Lan Wangji must miss his husband over this amnesiac of a man Wei Wuxian has turned into. Well, Wei Wuxian will show him! He'll be even better—or at least, try to be just as good of a husband as he would be, without his memory loss.

Blackout If You Were Mine by aroceu | rated E | 9K words

Wei Ying likes to wear chokers a lot. So Lan Zhan buys some for him. Then, testing their limits, collars.

Wei Ying wears those, too.

-

Or, the one where Wei Ying and Lan Zhan accidentally stumble into a BDSM relationship.

eleven thousand meters & airborne by aroceu | rated E | 5K words | 😎✈️😎

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying join the mile high club.

many fox given by defractum | rated E | 24K words | can't go wrong with foxxian and dragonji content 🦊🐉

Lan Zhan is glaring at him. That's probably fair.

The last time they'd seen each other, Wei Ying had been digging through Lan Zhan's garbage. They'd made eye contact over the shredded bags, the week's trash scattered around him like stinky, oversized Lego.

Lan Zhan's eyes had been wide with horror, and Wei Ying's had been equally wide with feigned innocence. He'd reached out slowly, maintaining the eye contact, and then flipped over the food waste bin full of onion peel and carrot skin as a distraction and slunk off into the night. Probably not his finest moment.

-

Modern AU dragon!LWJ meets fox!WWX.

the tamed by defractum | rated E | 12K words

If the Second Jade of Lan insists on bringing the Yiling Patriarch as his guest to the next Cultivation Conference, he must first demonstrate a control over the Yiling Patriarch and his unnatural abilities.

The letter lies on their desk for days.

-

Post-canon, Wei Ying is invited, sort of, to a Discussion Conference.

us in a king-size, keep it a secret (say i'm your queen, i don't wanna leave this) by matcha_ado | rated E | 3K words

People always said Wei Ying was a royal pain in the ass. They were absolutely right, of course, just not in the way they thought.

it is wednesday my dudes by jelenedra | rated M | 4K words

Wednesday nights at Cloud Recesses strip club are always a little weird, but usually they're not this horny. Whatever Wei Ying and Lan Zhan get up to, Mianmian is not going to be the one to clean it up.

i'm the one for your fire by occultings | rated E | 43K words | cherry magic au! love it

Wei Ying, virgin and noted heterosexual, gets hit with a curse of an unusual nature on his 30th birthday — through physical contact, he can read the minds of others around him.

Enter Lan Zhan, hot former rival and current coworker, whose true thoughts about Wei Ying are nothing like he expects. (A loose Cherry Magic AU)

a thousand teeth, yours among them by darkredloveknot | rated E | 11K words

A one night stand in the time of zombies.

hoe to housewife pipeline by lanzhancore | rated E | 5K words

“You type fast,” Wei Ying murmurs, making a futile attempt at conversation while he waits for him to be done with… whatever. “Not to be pushy, but do you plan on fucking my ass anytime soon?”

or: wei ying has been thirsting after lan zhan for three slutty slutty years

can you feel it by lanzhancore | rated E | an instant classic

“What’s wrong?” Wei Ying asks finally, eyebrows drawn together. “Is everything okay?”

Thumbs stroking circles into his skin as if to comfort him, Lan Zhan says, “Don’t panic.”

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying says, sitting up on his elbows. “What did you do to my ass?”

“Nothing,” Lan Zhan says, convincing nobody. “But we need to go to the hospital.”

or: wei ying really should have sprung for the model with the flared base. he learns this lesson the hard way.

because you're mine (i walk the line) by lanzhancore | rated E | 8K words

Wei Ying is freshly cream-pied and still trying to remember where his legs are when Lan Zhan outlaws masturbation.

or: wei ying fucks around and finds out

payload by lanzhancore | rated M | 3K words | babysitter wwx + dilfji, what more could you need

Wei Ying has a whole five hours and thirty-six minutes to calm down but when he hears Lan Zhan’s key turning in the front door lock later that evening he has to cling to the couch cushions to keep from marching into the laundry room to retrieve the briefs so he can wave them in Lan Zhan’s face and demand to know who owns them.

or: lan zhan's self-restraint is not limitless

the to the brim series by verseau | rated E | 14K words total

Wei Ying wants to rob him, but it wouldn’t even be satisfying, since this guy is just—giving away money. With his nice fingers. Maybe Wei Ying will just bite his fingers, and that will give the same endorphin rush as robbing him. / a day told across five parts.

get that message home by verseau | rated G | 2K words | ohhhhhhhhh myyyyy godddddd 😭

Sizhui's father cannot haggle. It is a shame on Sizhui’s honor to have such an honest father.

Author's note [i'm including it here because it's golden]:

there is a scene in arrested development where lucille, who is on the opposite spectrum of humanity as lan zhan, asks, "it's a banana, michael. how much could one cost? ten dollars?" there are no bananas in this story.

dreaming and getting a glimmer by verseau | rated E | 27K words | a particular favorite of mine 🔥🍆💦🕳🔥

Wei Ying discovers himself.

trust your fingertips by plonk | not rated (but really rated E) | 15K word | 🥵️🥵️🥵️🥵️🥵️ plonk you’ve done it again!

Lan Wangji must suppress a shiver at every brush and press of Wei Wuxian’s fingers.

Under different circumstances - less public ones - he would welcome touch, given that his body is in such an aroused state.

Alas, his circumstances are these: sitting quietly while Wei Wuxian, the famous (infamous) Doctor of Yunmeng, digs his fingertips into Lan Wangji’s shoulders and chest and sides and hums thoughtfully.

Doctor, Doctor by YunmengLotus | rated E | 4K words | mmmmhmm!

Wei Ying needs to get a prostate exam. How ever will he deal when the world's hottest doctor walks through the exam room door and tells him to bend over?

TAKOYAKI by ariskamalt | rated E | 3K words | lan zhan gets jealous of his own damn appendages. meanwhile, wei ying is just having a good time.

Lan Zhan…cannot always feel or tell what his tentacles will do.

His free hand curls into a fist. Underneath his skin, the tentacles give a little squirm, as if aware of the challenge he has just issued them. No touching Wei Ying unless he says so, because he wants to touch Wei Ying first. They squirm again, as if to say, Tentacles: 1, Lan Zhan: 0.

That will just have to be remedied.

Or, as phnelt first described: Tentacle-ji with the semi autonomous tentacles getting jealous of his tenties for touching Wei Ying in places he hasn't yet

Outage by SugarMilkTea | rated E | 3K words | [cough] 😳😳😳

The power goes out in Lan Zhan and Wei Ying's rural home in the countryside. Lan Zhan takes advantage of the darkness to give in to one of his baser urges, and Wei Ying's first rural power outage experience is about to get a lot more interesting.

big hands (i know you’re the one) by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 8K words | NICE. 🔥🔥🔥

“Not a big talker, hm?” Wei Ying tilts his head to one side. “That’s okay, I’ve been told I’m a good enough conversationalist for three. My tongue is multi-talented and—”

He has just enough time to feel her palm on the back of his neck and think, oh, her hands are so big, before his words are being stolen into her mouth.

darling, am i a chore? by martyrsdaughter | rated E | 7K words

“Are you done playing around?”

Knowing that’s not what either of them actually wants, Wei Wuxian reaches up to tickle under Lan Wangji’s chin. Soft little scritches, coaxing motions—Lan Wangji is weak to all of them.

“You know what I want,” Wei Wuxian purrs, reaching up on his tiptoes to throw his arms over Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “Call me gege, won’t you? Call me and I’ll stop.”

(or: five times Lan Wangji paid special attention to Wei Wuxian’s interest in being his gege.)

put him on his knees, give him something to believe in by dustyloves | rated E | 2K words | if the title is quoting WAP, then you should know by now it’s gonna be some of that good filth

The next time Wei Ying kisses him, Lan Zhan is careful again. Wei Ying seems determined to make it very difficult.

the hard way by dustyloves | rated E | 9K words

"Anyway, you make it sound like something lewd is going on," Wei Ying complains. "It's all totally above board. She's just being a nice person. It's just one kind alpha grad student offering one room of her huge house to one beta undergrad in need, what could be more appropriate than that?"

// Wei Ying makes a mistake and finds out the hard way.

Exhibition by sevenless | rated E | 5K words

“Oh?” Wei Wuxian raises an eyebrow. “The forbidden section, Lan Zhan?”

“Mn.”

“You’re not afraid of being heard?” Wei Wuxian thinks aloud. A smirk creeps onto his face, eyes glinting. “Or could it be that Lan-er-gongzi actually wants to be heard? Seen? Caught?” He skips in front of him, blocking his way. "Disciplined?”

Lan Wangji’s ears, as always, betray him.

a history of the body by northofallmusic | rated E | 14K words

Wei Ying's body hurts sometimes; she lets Lan Zhan help her.

A fic about the complicated nature of having a body, and also the versatility of sex toys.

(our friendship) up against the ropes by daltoneering | rated E | 36K words

The reboot completes, and Wei Ying’s brain smashes this information together into two mind-shattering thoughts. Number one, he knew very well already, and is now further seared by defined muscles and a mouth-watering tattoo into his every waking moment: Lan Zhan is the hottest fucking person on the planet.

Number two: that guy wasn’t visiting Lan Zhan’s neighbour, he was visiting Lan Zhan, which means:

Lan Zhan fucks. Lan Zhan fucks. Lan Zhan fucks.

;

Lan Zhan has been Wei Ying's best friend for years. Literally, years. How did he not already know? How has he missed this most important of facts? And more importantly, how is he ever going to get over it?

watching my heart go round by typefortydeductions | rated E | 38K+ words | WIP (2/4 chapters, last updated 5/2/21) | lan zhan i love you baby 💞

Lan Zhan falls apart. As it turns out, that's not the end.

~

oh man this list is so long sd;jfkdsjfhhh

yati, i hope you find some stuff in this pile here that you’ll enjoy! it's not an exhaustive list, so check out the authors’ other works and bookmarks for more goods, if you feel so inclined 😙💕

[esther-dot]

That's exactly it, what is canon anyway? One of the Ds (don't remember who) did an adaptation of the Iliad (a good one). Was Troy taken? Yes. Did Achilles die? Yes. So, faithful ending. Hm... only Achilles had died long before Troy was taken, was never in love with any of the girls who were peasants and war slaves, and the whole thing with Agamemnon happened for honor, not love. Oh, did I mention that Agamemnon and Menelaos both live after Troy? But who cares abt them anyway? They're despicable!

This is another really old ask, and I know it's in repsonse to something I said, but I can't remember what it was. Sorry, about that anon.

Anyway, D&D for sure don’t know what's canon! What was show canon when the script was written wasn’t when it was filmed and was changed in editing and that mess was then contradicted in their interviews. The day the finale script was released was amazing. Blue checkmarks on Twitter (people who work in the industry and probably shouldn’t publicly mock producers for career reasons) were tearing it apart because it didn’t match what made it to the screen. Hilarious.

I did watch Troy last year because it was on Netflix, and I laughed so hard because Paris offers to fight Menelaus for Helen in a way that reminded me of Jon offering to fight Ramsay.

Paris: "There is another way. I love Helen. I won't give her up and neither will you, so let us fight our own battle. The winner takes Helen home. And let that be the end of it."

Obviously they were fighting for Rickon/Winterfell/the North too in the show, but watching that scene reminded me of Jon offering to fight Sansa’s husband “the old way.” I really appreciate that D&D looked at this totally platonic, angry sibling/hot cousin duo and thought, “What we need to do is create parallels with every other romantic couple on the show and use every romance trope we can get our hands on to make it clear just how platonic this is.”

And I know, it was all an accident, that Kit read “brother” confused it with “lover” and acted accordingly, but it was Benioff who co-wrote BotB and wrote the screenplay for Troy. So, D&D were intentionally doing something. The problem is, they screwed up s8 so badly, we’ll never know what that was. Anyway, imo, headcanons are just as valid as “canon” when it comes to GoT because nothing made sense in the end.

[honey-dewey]

Five Car Pileup

Pairing: Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels/Reader

Word Count: 2,162

Warnings: Where to start? Probably medical inaccuracies, amputation, car accident, blood, gore, mentions of needles, mentions of death, Jack gets depressed but not for long, the reader has to cut Jack’s arm off without painkillers, but surprisingly no one dies, and I do promise it has a happy ending. This one’s harsh y’all, proceed with caution.

Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell @star-wars-hell

Nothing marks a day as ‘bad’ like having a painful 24 hour shift, two patients die in your care, and at the last ten minutes of your shift, a five car pileup where at least one man was severely injured. However, that man is your former boyfriend Jack Daniels, and boy oh boy is he in trouble. 

Short A/N: PLEASE pay attention to the warnings! This story is a doozy! Be careful, drive safely, and stay safe! 

You took a breath, leaning against the ambulance and finally scrubbing your hands down your face. This was why you didn’t wear any heavy makeup during night shifts. Mostly because no one cared, but partially so you could rub your face without worry.

The night had been unnecessarily long. You’d started working almost twenty four hours ago, and the constant work was starting to weigh on your shoulders. Two patients had died today, both while you were in the room with them. One had been an old woman who’d been battling cancer for years now, and the other had been a teenager who’d asked you to hold her hand as she passed. It was horribly taxing, and all you wanted to do was go home and make some tea, maybe curl up on the couch with a sappy movie or something while you slept away the past 24 hours.

A chiming brought your attention back, and you checked your watch, breathing out. Ten minutes until your shift was over. Ten minutes. Ten minutes.

And then your pager went off.

“Shit!” You yelled, grabbing it off your waist and looking at it. Swearing even more, you flagged down a paramedic running to the ambulance you were leaning against. The hospital was understaffed, as always, and they needed you to make a run with the paramedics. Something about a severe car accident, estimated five cars with at least one man badly injured. Groaning loudly, you hopped into the ambulance as it took off, sirens wailing. Of course. Of course you had an emergency within the last ten minutes of your shift.

The wreck wasn’t too far out, which was nice. You’d hate to be in charge of any patient for an hour long ride to the hospital. As the ambulance pulled to a stop, you jumped out, going into work mode. Car wrecks weren’t an uncommon event, and you’d had your fair share of wreck patients. Either they were ridiculously over-exaggerated or horribly under-exaggerated. Either way, this would be bad.

Taking in the wreck, you counted the vehicles. Five, as expected. Two trucks, two cars, and one SUV. The other paramedics began to examine the people standing on the side, a fire truck pulling up along with a handful of cop cars.

“There’s still someone trapped in there!” A woman with three kids by her side said to you as you circled the wreck. “He got my kids out, but he’s stuck and we can’t get him out.”

You nodded to the woman, seeing a wayward boot sticking out between the flipped cab of one of the trucks and the scraped door of a car. “I see him!”

Getting on your stomach, you managed to wiggle into the wreck, army crawling against the glass scattered ground. Calling out to the other paramedics and the firemen, you found the victim.

Scooting so you were parallel to the body, you reached out and managed to flip the head towards you, gasping. Jack Daniels, an old flame of yours. Blood stained the side of his head, and one eye was swollen shut. Every inch of skin that you could see was grimy and scattered with glass shards. He blinked his left eye open, a tiny, wavering grin blossoming as he saw you. “Hello darling. Here to rescue me?”

“Yes Jack,” you said calmly, hearing the firemen begin to move the truck above you. “Where does it hurt?”

Jack winced. “Arm. Right one. I think it’s stuck.”

“Okay,” you said, looking around. There was space to Jack’s left, and you moved out from his right so you could lay on his left. There was nothing separating you now, and you were able to take Jack’s heart rate and blood pressure, all while slowly treating his other, smaller wounds. Finally, you could face it no longer. You had to check the worst of the damage.

“Alright, let me see that arm,” you said, shimmying down so you were close to his arm. It was, as assumed, stuck. The SUV door had broken off and was now laying on Jack’s arm right near the shoulder, the thin strip of metal pressing into his skin not giving you any hope. “Jack.”

“That’s my name.”

“Jack the arm has to go.”

Silence. It was the unfortunate reality. Nothing could save him now. “The other paramedics can get you out, but this arm is too stuck. The SUV door isn’t going anywhere, and if I don’t take it off.”

The unsaid threat hung heavy in the air. Jack took a breath, and you could see his chest rise as he considered his options. “Will it hurt?”

“Like nothing you’ve ever experienced,” you said softly, words getting caught on your unusually tight throat. You’d scooted back up so you and Jack were face to face. The sound of another car being moved, exposing your back, crunched through the air.

Jack turned his face to look at you, swollen eye leaking tears. “Just do it.”

You nodded, taking his trapped hand and kissing it, wanting his last experience with both hands to be, at least, mildly pleasant.

“Let me go see if we have painkillers,” you said slowly, rolling out from the wreck.

Standing to face the paramedics, you explained the situation. They’d have to pull him out as soon as you were done if there was going to be any chance for him to survive. Grabbing a syringe full of the strongest painkillers you could find and a battery powered saw, you took a forced breath and got back under the car.

Jack was waiting, taking deep, slow breaths. “Hey darling.”

“Hey Jack,” you said, wiggling around until you could securely give him the painkillers. “How’s work been?”

“Oh, y’know,” Jack mumbled, wincing as you stuck him. “Same old, same old.”

You nodded. A while into your relationship, Jack had trusted you with the true secret of his job. You had never visited the Statesman secret service building, but the stories were amazing and usually hilarious. “Think they’ll be able to make you a fancy new arm?”

Jack chuckled weakly. “Yeah. All the bells and whistles.” He was quiet for a minute as you tried to still your shaking hands. “Darling?”

“Yeah?”

“When this is all over,” Jack said slowly, so slowly you feared he was losing consciousness. “How about a date? Out to that old restaurant you liked, the one where they had all their herbs and veggies growing out back.”

You smiled, reaching a hand through the shattered SUV window and caressing Jack’s face. “I’d like that Jack. I’d like that a lot. You survive this, and I’ll absolutely go out with you again. I do miss our conversations.”

Jack grinned, his one open eye blinking slowly. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

You moved back down, calling out to the paramedics who no doubt had a grip on Jack’s body and were waiting for you to do your job. “Ready!”

“Ready!” The call back was horrifying, and you positioned the saw above the line where the arm was trapped. From this angle, it would be tricky, but possible.

“Ready,” came Jack’s weak voice, and you shut your eyes tight for a split second before gathering yourself, putting on a brave face and your work emotions, and doing your damn job.

It was agony. Jack screamed, a horribly pained scream that tore at his throat and made you want to cry. He flailed, broken pleas for you to stop bubbling in between the screaming. The other paramedics held his limbs, securing him down so he didn’t screw up your hack job. You hoped the three children couldn’t hear as you kept going, working through skin, muscle, and bone. Jack’s continued screams made your blood run cold as you did your job quickly, finally able to shout “pull!”

Jack disappeared from your view as you collapsed onto the ground. Blood stained you from head to toe, and it took two men to help you to your feet. As you stumbled across the bloodied asphalt, your knees weak, two firemen took you and got you as clean as possible, wrapping you in a shock blanket and reassuring you that everything was okay. The mother with her two kids was gone, blissfully, but a few other spectators had remained, each visibly shaken by what they’d just heard and seen.

The ambulance with Jack in it was already gone by the time you were back in focus. “He’s gonna be okay?” You rasped, leaning against a paramedic you knew well.

Lawrence nodded. “He’ll be fine. C’mon, let’s get you home.”

In the end, you did go home. For almost twelve hours, you slept on the couch, making Lawrence swear to call you if anything happened to Jack. No such call came, so when you stumbled into work the next day, you were unsurprised but overjoyed to find Jack alive and recovering slowly. He was still unconscious, and was mostly being kept alive by machines, but you were ecstatic to see his heartbeat steady on the monitor.

“Hey you,” Lawrence said, coming up behind you. “You did good yesterday.”

“Didn’t feel good,” you said, avoiding looking at the thick white bandages that covered Jack’s hacked at shoulder.

Lawrence sighed. “He’s alive,” he reminded you. “Because of you. The boys and I were talking. None of us would’ve had the courage to crawl into that wreck and cut his arm off at that angle.”

You shrugged. “I’m never doing that again.”

“I bet.”

It took Jack months to recover enough for visitors. He was in your section, meaning you were taking care of him. For almost two months he was silent and mostly unresponsive, only really ever turning his head and shrugging when he had to. The wound healed nicely, and by the end of month three, you deemed him okay for visitors.

His first visitor was a woman in a neat button up. She was holding a white box and you recognized her very faintly.

“You can call me Ginger,” she said when you asked for her name. You nodded, suddenly remembering her. Ginger. One of Jack’s coworkers.

Jack was happy to see Ginger. He didn’t smile, but his posture shifted. Ginger set the box on the bed near his feet. “Daniels. How’s the hospital been treating you?”

“Better than the Statesman med center,” Jack said, and you grinned. That was the man you knew, sass and snark.

Ginger sat in a chair. “Well, you’ll be pleased to know that, while the hatter wasn’t happy to hear you destroyed his favorite hat, he made you a new one.” She opened the box and pulled out a pristine cowboy hat. Gently placing it on Jack’s head, she gave the brim a playful flick. “There’s the cowboy we’re all missing at work.”

Jack sighed, ducking his head down. With a jolt, you realized he was smiling. Jack was smiling again.

Another month passed, during which Jack returned to his former attitude. He attended PT daily, often with you beside him as he swore loudly while trying to maneuver the fake kitchen the physical therapy department had with one hand. When he was finally cleared for discharge, you went to your boss with a request.

“I want to be transferred,” you said. “Just for the time being, until Daniels returns to work. I want to be made his primary carer.”

It took some negotiating, but you walked out of the office with a new job. Jack put his arm around you as he waved to the various nurses and doctors who had saved his life, walking out of the hospital for the first time in months.

Your first stop was Statesman.

Champ was, as expected, sympathetic. Ginger was happy to see Jack back at work, and Tequila made exactly one stump joke before you kneed him in the dick and told him to fuck off.

Ginger also insisted on getting some scans and measurements of his shoulder. You held his left hand while Ginger uncovered the unsightly wound. He hissed at the contact, but Ginger kept her touch nice and light as she worked.

“I can build a prosthetic,” she decided finally. “It’ll function just like your old arm, and we can even build a flesh sleeve so it’ll look the same. I don’t think I can give it pain receptors though.”

Jack shook his head, sliding his shirt back on. “That’s fine. Don’t need anything fancy.”

You smiled, opening the door and taking Jack’s hand as he waved goodbye to Ginger.

“I believe I promised you a date,” Jack said as you two walked away from the Statesman infirmary, still hand in hand.

“I believe you did,” you said, following Jack through the building. “But I’m driving.”

Jack grinned, and you were glad, despite your fears months ago, that you’d been brave enough to step up and take the charge to save Jack’s life. “Well then, what are we waiting for, darling?”