#Hey. Moron.

[maruyaaya]

long heavy heaving sigh. just had a revelation and i’m currently rewriting the entirety of chapter 2 of the neomachus fic. i wanted to alter the timeline bc i had an idea and now unfortunately the whole timeline has been shifted. there’s a scene i really like from chapter 3 that i’m completely cutting out so i will maybe post that on here after that chapter is out

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

ProPublica and the DNC genuinely think you are so stupid that you can't tell the difference between an abortion and a miscarriage.

fortunately, every single state with an abortion regulation differentiates between those two things in the law. you can find the law, read it, and understand it in the space of 5 to 10 minutes. so can every single doctor in this country.

every woman who has died at the hands of a hospital because they withheld miscarriage care from her was a victim of either incompetence or malice.

not the law.

[averycutesalamander]

i have extremely neutral opinions about SMAUs (social media AUs) but i just thought about what Boothill's role would be in one and im kind of losing my mind about it.

his account handle is @.silvergunshura and he literally only posts clumsy nature photos and occasional pics of his gun. a handful of videos that are just the sound of the wilds. never puts any captions or tags on his posts. extremely long unacknowledged absences with no schedule. double-digit amount of followers at an absolute maximum. absolutely no interaction with his audience. or anyone else on the platform actually. quite frankly he doesn't pay any attention to his following in the slightest. bro simply cannot be bothered. for all he cares he is sending these photos to the void and there are no other users on the platform.

and then he posts one (1) video of him at the shooting range nailing bullseyes left and right like it's nothing. barely half of his body is in frame and most of his face is covered by his hair. someone with a decent following shares it and his entire fucking profile EXPLODES because people will NOT stop talking about how hot he is and it kinda snowballs from there. people go through his entire backlog only to find ZERO other posts with his face or body in them. the best they get is little snippets of his arms. people are frothing at the fucking mouth trying to figure out who he is and nobody knows because he literally hasn't said a single word in his entire posting history. people make theory posts, which obviously gets more people invested in this new mystery. his comments are filled with people speculating about who he is and what the fuck he's doing. someone posts a massive spreadsheet detailing all of the identifiable locations in his posts, and they're literally all over the galaxy. immediately afterwards they're cancelled for some vague allegations about them being a shady intelligentsia guild member guilty of multiple human rights violations and everybody completely forgets about the spreadsheet.

Boothill posts a single blurry photo of his hand feeding a chipmunk and people lose their goddamn minds. he follows this up an hour later with a photo of the same chipmunk sitting on his shoulder that is somehow even blurrier than the last and it briefly trends on the front page. a week later he uploads a video of him playing a harmonica by a campfire, once again barely in frame, lit only by the flickering fire. people brighten the video in a desperate attempt to get a better look at his face, but there's nothing identifiable. someone posts a slightly unhinged video examining the tiniest pixels in every screencap of him that they can find, claiming that he's definitely a halovian because of some extremely blurry details, and you technically can't deny it as a possibility because there are no clear shots of where his halo or wings would be. naturally this severely divides fans, and several other theories about his species pop up over the course of a few days. many people are called morons from all sides.

the REAL drama comes when he posts a picture where he's holding what looks suspiciously like an extremely precious meteorite-formed gem that was stolen during a private IPC auction two weeks ago. this post is also notable because it's the first time he's used a caption and it's literally just "lol". naturally people quickly connects the dots and realize that he's BOOTHILL, that crazy motherfucker with the vendetta against the IPC, and why the fuck is he posting nature photos and videos of him feeding birds and shit. silvergunshura fans are instantly divided by discourse about whether or not it's ethical to be a fan. "silvergun fans dni" and "silvergun antis dni" become staples in the bios of people invested in the drama. a bunch of fans start using his substitute swears, and whether or not this is ironic is extremely debatable. the business of cyborg modifications has a moderate boom. anti-IPC sentiments have a notable increase, but now the people doing serious exposés and earnest discussion about the humanitarian crimes of the IPC that are concealed from the public are constantly called simps. there's a brief stint with a handful of Boothill copycat crimes that are all solved within the week.

people unsuccessfully try to hunt down any other potential socials to no avail, but this does spawn a massive wave of fake accounts on a million different platforms, which obviously successfully baits a ton of people. the drama gets even spicier when the moderators shut down his account. one of the mods gets doxxed by an outraged fan. even more fake accounts pop up. Boothill comes back less than a week later as @.silvercowboy244 like nothing happened. his returning post is a crooked picture of a sorta weird looking tree, and he's pointing toward the top left of the frame. the caption is just "bird?" and nobody can figure out what the FUCK that's supposed to mean, because there's no bird visible in the picture, nor is there a bird nest in the tree. conspiracy theories and decoders are immediately chomping at the bit trying to figure out if it has some kind of secret meaning.

tons of people try to use his posts to pinpoint his location for clout or the bounty money or to find him in person and beg him to let them give him head, but he never posts them exactly when they're taken, and nobody can figure out what the fuck logic he's using to pick his next destination. there's an IPC investigation. his accounts keep getting banned but he keeps coming back like a cockroach. dedicated fan archives are made to preserve all of his shitty photos. he never acknowledges any of the drama.

if you're fortunate enough to know Boothill personally and you ask him about all of that weird shit with his socials, he just shrugs and says, "yep, i keep gettin' locked out. can't remember passwords for shirt." if you ask him what he thinks of all the drama surrounding his online presence, he gives you the most bewildered expression you've ever seen on his face. "what the fork are you yappin' about?? what do you mean i got "band" ?? disk horse??? docksing???? i think you've got a few screws loose buddy" and he promptly forgets about the entire ordeal and goes back to posting blurry nature pictures like literally nothing happened.

edit: here's part two-ish lol

[victorie552]

Just had a thought, it's completely half-baked: So, um, NoME I think, said that there totally could be hröar without any fëar running around, right? Translating: there could be moving bodies with no souls/occupants left.

Zombies. Middle Earth has zombies.

And when would be a better time for zombies to roam around than after Nirnaeth Arnoediad? Even more after Second and Third Kinslaying. You know who would have a perfect opportunity to fight zombies to the point of habit? Fëanorians.

So I imagined the situation where Maedhros and Maglor fight some zombies, successfully turning them into parts (I mean, duh). Then Maedhros says something self-hating like "Surely there's more good to them than was left of us(me) as it hunts and hurts without consent, intent nor will, unlike us(me)."

And Maglor looks at him, then at the zombie's head he holds. He reaps the skull open (with his hands, yes), takes zombies' brain out, and throws it at Maedhros with "We also have an evidence he had a brain, unlike some brother of mine."

Cue Medhros releasing the MOST Older Brother Sigh.

[voilaammayi]

me, with english as not my primary language, trying to follow sherlock when he blurts out the whole sequence of deductions at the speed of light:

[shadowsatdawnx]

any time i feel a sliver of doubt because of how loud the other side is i think of this screenshot and remember this is the level of media literacy we are dealing with

[byfulcrums]

it is incredibly important to me that satosugu are not dating actually. i don't think they ever would (they wouldn't label it, at least. why should they? it's not like anyone else has a right to care about that), but it is something that i think matters a lot to the narrative, neither of them having ever said i love you

satoru never did it because he thought he'd have enough time for it. suguru didn't see a reason to, at least not back them. they're together, will always be together no matter what happens, and that's enough for the both of them, so why bother?

it didn't really last. satoru got to tell him, actually tell him, one time. it was the first and the last. suguru didn't get to say it back

[darlingod]

Cardan, finding any reason to look at Jude: oh we’re talking about death? (😏) I know someone that’s gonna die HEY JUDE

Going even further,

Cardan: oh we’re talking about gardening? (🥳🥳) I know someone that’s made of dirt YO JUDEE

[crehador]

the post-canon samaichi with yakuza wife ichiro future may be in shambles but i am still thinking about it daily. like okay recent plot developments i'm hearing you and appreciating you and i will soon shift into the way of the horsehusband mode which is equally beloved to me. however

yakuza wife ichiro would always be sending samatoki to work with the most adorable and elaborate loving wife bentos, and if they aren't open about their relationship yet, samatoki's men would spend All Day trying to guess what kind of cute girl their boss managed to bag

they've whipped up this whole idea of a Perfect Wife type of woman, brown hair soft eyes side ponytail and all. then one day this big and hella built guy in a baggy hoodie, baseball cap, and face mask turns up with a cloth-wrapped package for samatoki

and the men are like holy shit. fully expecting there to be some. bloody finger or someone's chopped off ear in there. declaration of war type of thing

(later samatoki, in the middle of laughing his ass off, will ask ichiro why tf he came in disguise and ichiro was like i! thought you wanted to be lowkey!!)

so naturally they inspect the package before letting it get anywhere near samatoki and when they open it up they instantly recognize it as one of the bentos that samatoki is showing off every day, and instead of thinking oh our boss has a househusband actually, they barge into samatoki's office like "BOSS SOMEONE HAS KIDNAPPED YOUR WIFE"

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 47

Geralt doesn't like how cold his bard gets in the winter. Geralt decides to warm him up. But he can't cuddle him and keep him warm when they part, the years he heads to Oxenfurt to teach. So Geralt scours the library for a book explaining and sits down one day to try and learn how to knit.

[starlightoath]

*sips tea* Do y'all see and hear that? No one's storming the capital. No one's inciting an insurrection in the midst of a tantrum. No one's claiming they didn't lose in spite of the official vote counting. Unlike MAGA, who did all of those things!

Just a graceful loss! Because unlike the child that won by 1.5%(it wasn't a landslide), Kamala had the dignity and maturity to concede and accept her defeat with dignity. *takes another sip* Crazy how it was the shortest campaign in history and 48.4% of American voters voted for her. Imagine what she would have done with a whole year.

Ah Ah! I was only 49.9%. Not 50%. We're definitely not rounding. Even then, a lot of citizens abstained. *pours another cup of tea* So, let's see. Unqualified cabinet members based on how popular they are. Restrictions on bodily autonomy of women now, intentions of placing restrictions on all people. Transphobia that's dealing direct damage to reproductive healthcare and mental healthcare. Denial of Healthcare to people who need it in direct violation of "Do no harm" under penalty of arrest. Not to mention dismantling of government paid insurance with only "concepts of a plan" to replace it(which is just another way of saying it won't be replaced). Intentions to delegalize same sex marriage. The person who put America even further into debt, who we know is in bed with Putin and China, is back into office. The same man that was convicted and found guilty of 34 felonies including multiple cases of Sexual assault. The very same man who's throwing a tantrum because one of our greatest presidents died and flags will still be at half mast during hus inauguration. Racism, sexism, and bigotry "backed" by the government. Oh! And those terrorists, sorry, that's bad optics, right? "Christian Nationalists" having government positions in direct opposition to the Founding Fathers Direct intent of "Separation of Church and State." Also cultists, whoops again, "The MAGA Party," having even higher influence because they're in central government positions! Oh! The price of living will increase too! Trump also said that his promise to decrease egg prices was a lie.

But hey. At least Trump voters are happy that they can be hateful in public. At least they can feel justified in attacking marginalized groups knowing Trump is in the office! At least they know no more—Oh wait! Immigrants are cheaper labor than native citizens, so immigrants will still be coming to their country!

*sips tea*

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Others!

Guys, Gals, and Nonbinary Pals!

Presenting Act 2 of Trump's America: The Burning Shit Show in the Midst of a Dumpster Fire!

Don't worry, Folks! I'll be enjoying the show from a safe distance!

[nando161mando]

“Hey, how about a little civility?”

[vee-lociraptor]

.

[morgsdrew]

Did your boyfriend just have a fucking crash-out because you decided to go visit the father of your child in the hospital?

that is not what happened . what .

[sillygoofyqueer]

for did you die?

Where'd you go??

I know not of this 'for' but I, Four, am not dead! Just otherwise engaged!! (I got scared of the amount of asks in my inbox as well as distracted by one of the oneshots I was supposed to write someone for Christmas and told myself I'd deal with them over the weekend)

[homelybiscuit]

Why is not knowing something at work so embarrassing. Like sorry I don't know how to solve this and I need you to teach me. I know its a pain and I'm not pulling my weight in this moment and you have to pick up my slack. Sorry. Like actually if you would just shoot me dead like a dog that would be preferable.