#Hey look my korean studies minor

[multifandumbmeg]

Do I have time to write this? I will try. So at first I saw the title Haegeum and I thought okay so this either means something to do with Sun (해) and gold/money (금) OR its some oldass Korean word I don't know which is highly possible because Yoongi loves being smartboy hours and teaching us all something. BOY AM I HAPPY TO REPORT I WAS WRONG AND HERE'S WHY:

While my initial guess was wrong, the secondary one was completely correct. The geum actually comes from 금지 which means forbidden or banned, and the word 해금 together means "the lifting of a ban". This is in reference to the repeated line in the song and it being about self-imposed chains of being chronically online, chronically exposed to the rhetoric, controversy, censorship, and toxicity. But it's ALSO the name of a Korean traditional string instrument. Not only is one playing in the beat, but this instrument has an interesting history. Due to being cheap and portable and considered "not a real string instrument because you play it with a bow" (read: low brow) it was often played by beggars and earned the title the "Pauper's Instrument". This reinforces the themes of money, greed, and rich vs. Poor we often see in Yoongi's work, including in this song. Interestingly as well, the instrument pushed aside in favor of more ~classy~ string instruments like the gayageum until recently it has seen a resurgence due to popular music made by several people. Of course, Yoongi loves putting traditional Asian instruments in his music so again it fits perfectly that he'd be aware of this trend, history, and happy to jump in.

Don't even get me started on the lyrics and video. That's gonna have to be another post.

[astrolaurical]

Hey Astro( sry I do not know you by your name) . I read your post about how badly you were treated while your stay in Korea. So sorry about that. But thank you at the same time for sharing and sending awareness to young ones like us, who someday hopefully wish to visit Korea, as tourists! Will definitely keep your warning as my number no. 1 priority!

I just got to thinking while reading your post about Korean men, what kind of fetish they have with women of different Nationalitys, can this be found in men of much younger generation too? Like do men STILL have that kind of perspective, has things not changed much? Even for men who are much younger, as now times have changed alot? What do Korean females feel about this, as in do they feel ashamed or embarrassed (I don't know what exact words to use! Hopefully you get my drift) Do they help you out, look out for you? ( asking because maybe you might have had friends who looked out for you) I am genuinely curious.

Also if you do not get upset about what I've asked, How or what would you say about above things in relation to BTS memebers, Like our Members, they wouldn't have this kind of opinions right? They seem far more genuine and nice guys whose been honest about their emotions( totally acknowledging the fact that We donot have to know everything about them) But Jin has-been so loving towards ARMY and RM is pure Love! His speech and Vlive is so🥺. MY GOD I've said so much! I just wanted to talk! Again I apologize if I said something wrong!🙇‍♀️

YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT HAVE YOU TO REPLY TO ME IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO! NOTHING MATTERS MORE THAN YOUR COMFORT AND HAPPINESS, NOT EVEN MY CURIOSITY!! 😊😊

THANK YOU. TAKE CARE.

The INFJ in me naturally wanted to answer all of these questions. But no. Do your own research. I’m tired of doing all of the work for you. Go to Google and type in these questions yourself and search reputable news sources. To lead you in the right direction because i know you’ll need it:

1. Yes absolutely. Even 4th gen idols have gotten called out for this issue recently

2. Look up the South Korean feminist movement right now.

3. Korean bystander laws. It’s illegal to help out. No I won’t be taking any more questions in korea because I am getting too many koreaboos in my inbox idealizing the country and the people and ignoring everything I, a person who lives there, says.

And you clearly just exposed yourself on being too young for my blog. You are clearly a minor, calling me old and basically saying I’m a crony. I should block you. This blog is for people my age and BTS age. You know? 25 and older.

Oh and ABSOLUTEY bts act like this too. It’s engrained in them. They are proud Koreans. I’m not saying they would sexually harasses a female, but they probably wouldn’t hesitate to cut the line in front of one or expect food from one. Misogyny culture. Remember War of Hormone? Lol Namjoon has even said he has to regularly speak with a woman’s studies professor to make sure no engrained misogny comes out in his lyrics. And that’s my bias.

[17caratssi]

Wonwoo! Will you stay

Jeon Wonwoo! First short series pt one | two | three | four Wonwoo is a new student of Sejong High. Coming from a low-status family, he always keeps himself aloof, isolated and cares less about anyone. However, his effort to lie low during the first day goes down the drain.

10th July

The chill breeze greets the morning, awaken the sleepy eyes. Cars are in the line to drop the students at the entrance. The young faces radiate with smiles as they chat about what's filled their summer holiday.

New semester and the entrance of highly anticipated new students into Sejong Elite High School.

Every year, Sejong High will take in new students in the second half. While the school only accepts kids with upper-class family backgrounds in the prefecture, the special students are usually first-class newcomers or scholarship privileged.

Everyone knows when a new student is enrolled with a scholarship. They are distinct from others who are registered under their family's status. They just know.

These smart students are the minority, and more often than not, their voices would not be heard by the higher-ups when they are bullied. It's like these few people have to walk on the icy pond. Everything is at stake.

Jeon Wonwoo is a lucky guy. He made it to the school, albeit coming from a poor family in a rural area. He has 6 siblings, and he is the oldest. The breadwinner in the house has disappointed them and left the family 2 years ago, leaving everything in Wonwoo's hands.

However, the only good thing about his father is his peculiar gene, and that's how Wonwoo ends up getting all A's despite all the external shortfalls.

He lacks time at school, and he would sleep during lectures. Having no friends, he is always a step behind the others. He makes no effort to befriend anybody, and he cares less about it.

Wonwoo walks to his class that is on the highest floor and only at the top. He learns that there's transportation, called the elevator, to bring students between the levels.

"Isn't summer just ended? Why is he sweating in this air-conditioned environment?" a girl with her friend makes a remark as they arrive at their class. The friend chuckles and scans Wonwoo and quickly realizes.

"No wonder, it's a nerdy~."

"Oof. I hope he's not our classmate," the two of them laugh girlishly.

Wonwoo listens but pays no heed to them. He continues to search for his class until he finds the match.

Damn, this stupid school is big...

Wonwoo's solitude would have him go unnoticed the whole day. As such, he uses the back door to come into the class. He looks around before he grabs a vacant chair. As he tugs the chair, the screeching sound stimulates the other's interest. Suddenly, the class gets heated up by the behaviour of the new student.

Murmurs here and there. Boys and girls are all talking about him.

There are only 3 new students; a girl from overseas, a boy whose father is a 'sangsa', and an ordinary boy who benefitted from a scholarship.

[Sangsa is a Korean military rank equivalent to an American master sergeant.]

The talk goes on for so long that Wonwoo gets sleepy from the attention he received. It's probably half an hour later, the sliding door is slammed open.

Wonwoo startles due to the loud noise made by you. He squints his eyes and watches as you walk to your desk, which is nowhere to be found. You are a new student as well.

It's normal for the new face to directly go to the back of the class, so you can instantly tell that the lonely, cute guy is a newcomer.

"You new?" You ask.

Fox is your first impression of him.

Wonwoo nods slightly. You also nod in acknowledgement and takes a chair next to him to sit. You extent a hand for a handshake but get no response from him. You take it as him being timid to new people and brush it off.

"I'm Y/N. You?"

He frowns. 10 seconds later, he speaks. "Do you talk to strangers?"

"You don't?" You ask in curiosity. "Oh, maybe cultural difference?"

Probably, but Wonwoo has no experience dealing with a girl. A bold one in specific.

"So, what's your name?"

Did she get it or not? She'll stop if I ignore her, right? Just like the others...

You don't stop looking at Wonwoo. He is handsome, and you admit that his nose is quite adorable.

"Can I touch your nose?" you ask with your finger already touching the thing.

Wonwoo's surprise look entertains you. He glares at you, and that alone makes you withdraw your finger.

"Are you dense or something?" Wonwoo comments and realizes that his accent is exposed.

You, a Korean practically spending most of her life in America, can't fathom his scolding but take in that he is angry. Sheepishly, you purse your lips and apologize. "Sorry, I sometimes act on impulse. It's just that your nose is boopable..." your voice slows down in volume in the second half.

I'm sorry, but not really...

However, Wonwoo suddenly stands up and drags his chair away from you.

Being treated that way, you impudently raised your voice, asking. "Where are you going?"

And yet, he still pretends to be deaf and shun you off.

Wonwoo settles down at the opposite corner. Noticing the non-existent desks for you and him, you voice out.

"Is there no desks for us? I thought you guys are prepared to take the new students but I guess not," your hands akimbo and lips mumbling complaint.

The whole class turns their heads to you, except Wonwoo.

"The new kid is sure cranky. It's not anyone's job to prepare you a desk," a guy in the front seat retort as he turns around.

His seatmate laughs and agrees without speaking.

The guy deliberately speaks out loud, but it seems that you don't catch at it. The former snickers and resumes playing with his phone.

Thank goodness, the desks are being delivered just before the class by the clerks. They arrange for the two desks to be placed side-by-side at the far left of the class.

You choose the left side since it's beside the window, and Wonwoo cannot help but pick the remaining. You like the positioning, but it goes for the opposing to him.

You smile as you watch Wonwoo creates a gap between their desks. He then continues to persistently act like you aren't there pestering him.

The lesson soon begins.

Actually, you find it difficult to adapt to the new environment. During the math class, you're the only one that takes out a calculator, and during the interval, it's also you who takes a nap.

It makes you pout. There's nothing to keep you excited apart from the person next to you.

You look to your right and see Wonwoo studying with his glasses on. His glasses are of the old model, but it looks good on him. You don't know why this guy just attracts your attention that you blurt out the next second.

"Hey, do you want to be my boyfriend?"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

If you like this story, you might as well check out the others here !

[soramei]

Intentional - Part 1

Pairing: Bang Chan x Reader (she/her)

Summary: Landing your first real job at JYPE was something short of a miracle. You were prepared to face the new struggles of this elusive career whilst moving to a new country, however, nothing could have prepared you for him. Will stolen glances, secret touches, and hushed nights spent in the recording room ever be enough for the both of you?

Genre: idol!bang chan au, forbidden relationship, coworkers to eventual lovers, slow burn 

Warnings: none right now, eventual smut,

Word Count: 7.3k 

Masterlist

A/N: hey yall this is my first ff im posting on tumblr :D im kinda scared to post but i hope anybody who stumbles on lil ol’ me will join me along the way :) also important!!! i made oc/reader asian cus i am lol (and this whole thing is basically a glorified self insert) so plz keep this in mind when reading!! oh god i didnt realize how slow this first part was sry... 

The cold silence of the room felt like stabs at your inside. You commanded your feet to stop bouncing up and down as you unconsciously started to bite off the dead skin of your bottom lip. The white corporate light from above reflected off your brand new lanyard hanging delicately from your neck. You felt the coarse blue fabric rub against your neck as you mindlessly fiddled with your lanyard; the newly printed photo of your face stared back at you with a smile. 

The creak of the door to your left was what broke you from your nervous fidgets. Whipping your head up from your lanyard, you immediately stood up ready to bow to whoever came through that door. 

It was a girl. She looked around the same age as you, if not older. Her attire was what gave her away. Her appearance essentially mirrored yours: hair tied back into a ponytail with a white blouse and black work pants. She also had the familiar blue ‘JYPE’ labeled strap hanging from her neck. 

“Hello,” you spoke meekly, scared to disturb the cold silence that had a hold on the room you were in. 

“Hello,” she replied. “My name is Choi Na-eun, I’m the new social media strategist intern and today is my first day.”

This is so relieving, you thought, another newbie to share the stress with me. 

“This is my first day too,” you perked up, “I’ll be starting as the new junior Chinese marketing assistant.” 

Getting the acceptance email from JYP Entertainment was definitely a high point in your life. The feeling of butterflies swarming your insides as you clicked the email open only to see your acceptance was immediately locked as a core memory. All the years of memorizing thousands of Korean and English vocabulary flashcards, the panic attacks before your finance exams, and the many, many late night coffee breaks were worth it the moment you received your first legitimate job offer, and from the esteemed JYP Entertainment company no less. 

“Chinese marketing?” Na-eun asked. “So you aren’t from here, I take it.” 

You shook your head. “I am from China. I completed my degree a while ago with a major in Language and a minor in Business. To be honest, I’ve done internships back home, but it’s been my dream to move to a new country.”

All of what you said was true. Up until now, your surroundings have never changed in all of your twenty-three years living. From the walk with your grandmother to daycare to the vast campus of your university, the view of your city has never changed. Your social circle stayed stagnant since you were able to talk and your love life was — for a lack of a better word — uneventful. 

It wasn’t until the day you decided to start applying for careers outside your home country that you felt hopeful. Hopeful that you could find an escape from your inert lifestyle and escape the burnout and stress that has been building up over the years. And so, on a day when you were feeling unusually confident, you gathered up the courage and spent hours sending out applications to organizations all over Asia that pertained to your specific degree. The applications were mainly for small jobs at small companies, however, your strange spike of motivation gave you the confidence to apply to the everso esteemed JYP Entertainment located in Korea. Of course you knew about this company — you and your friends played songs by ‘Twice’ nonstop back in highschool — but you didn’t realize the full power that this company had on the entertainment market until you did your full research. To say that you thought you had no chance was an understatement. This application was so far of a reach that you purposefully forced your mind to erase all memory of even applying. 

However, with your education, your work experience, and whatever tiny bit of luck you had, you somehow made it through the initial application process. Then the next. And the next. Then the interview. And now, you were nervously sitting in this white painted room with Na-eun, in a completely new country, waiting for your manager to come greet you. 

“So you’re from China? You’ve got to teach me chinese sometime.” Na-eun smiled. 

You giggled in return while nodding your head. You were relieved that you’ve met a potential friend so early in your career in this company. This was one of your big worries. With your social circle being so stagnant for the majority of your life back in China, you rarely had the opportunity to meet new people, much less make new friends. 

You were about to inquire more into Na-eun’s life when the door to your left abruptly opened. In the blink of an eye, three new people strutted in — two women and one man. They seemed to be higher status than you and Na-eun judging by their attire. All three were styled in some type of blazer and dress pants and there was no lanyard to be found on any of them. 

“Hello new employees,” the man greeted. Judging by his face, he looked to be in his late thirties at the least. His hair was styled back neatly and his lips slanted up, giving him a fox-like appearance. “I am Executive Manager Kim. Joined beside me on the left is Social Media Manager An and to my right is Marketing Manager Chen.” 

Both you and Na-eun immediately stood up to bow and introduce yourselves. 

“Hello. My name is Choi Na-eun, I’m the new social media strategist intern.” Na-eun said. 

“Hello. My name is y/n, I’m the new junior Chinese marketing assistant.” You repeated after her, copying exactly what she said. You did not want to screw anything up on your first day, especially your first impression. 

Manager Kim reached over to Na-eun, introducing himself and giving her a firm handshake. He then slowly moved over to you, and reached for your hand. 

“Y/n,” he gave time for your name to settle on his tongue as he gave a sly smile. “You’re not from here, aren't you?”

You shook your head ‘no’. “No, sir. I’m from China where I studied language and business. I hope to do well here as the Chinese marketing assistant.” You replied, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so timid. 

“I’m glad to hear,” Manager Kim chuckled, “I’m sure you’ll treat me and your other managers well.”

You felt an uncomfortable shiver pass through you as he brushed his thumb along your hand before letting go. This feeling was excused as nervousness, after all, this was your first day and your first time meeting your higher-ups. 

You introduced yourself to Manager Chen, assuming that she would be the one you were to assist in your time here at JYPE. Judging by her last name, you presumed that she was Chinese as well. 

“Forgive me for being so straight up Manager Chen, but are you Chinese?” You asked. 

“That is alright, y/n,” she smiled, “I’m not. My Husband is, but I’ve lived in China for more than half my life. I don’t want to brag, but my mandarin has gotten proficient over the past decade or so.”

Proficient? It’s amazing. You thought. This first day was turning out better than you thought. Other than the weird feeling you received from Manager Kim, everything was turning out splendid. A potential friend and a manager that could speak your first language.

“Since it’s about noon right now,” Manager Kim took a look at his watch, “What do you all think about some lunch?” 

The other managers nod their heads in agreement and gestures for you and Na-eun to follow them out of the waiting room you were in for so long. 

The whole building seemed so clean. With every corner lit, by natural light or artificial light, you could clearly see that every room, every piece of furniture and decor had been purposefully placed. You couldn’t help but have a stupid look of awe plastered on your face as you mindlessly follow your superiors over to the cafeteria.  

You turned your head over to Na-eun and gave her a tilt of the eyebrow, silently saying wow, this is where we work. 

With the turn of a corner and several silent strides, your little group made it to the cafeteria. 

The difference between your claustrophobic waiting room and this vast room was astonishing. With countless tables and romantic yellow lighting, this place almost resembled a five star restaurant. You’ve never seen a cafeteria as extravagant and clean as this before. However, to be fair, you’ve never had the experience of working with such a large corporation before. 

The managers led you to the serving station where you grabbed yourself a tray and proceeded to spoon small portions of rice and side dishes onto your plate. This cuisine was different to what you were used to, but nonetheless looked delicious. You were prepared for the small cultural differences, especially with the food, but from everything you’ve witnessed so far, the culture shock would be easier to overcome than what you’ve anticipated. 

“Have this soup y/n,” Manager Kim’s grating voice came from in front of you, interrupting your inner monologue. “It’s good for your complexion.” 

As Manager Kim hands over the bowl of soup, you feel the sleeve of his blazer brush up against your shoulder, causing the pit of your stomach to drop.

First day nerves. That was what this feeling was. You thought. 

You quietly thanked him with a small nod and walked briskly from the service line, trying to find where Na-eun went with the other two managers. Thankfully, they were just a step away and you quickly made your way over to the comfortable spot beside Na-eun. She gave you a small grin and you both followed your way to a table right in the middle of the room. 

Soon, all five chairs of the table got filled and sounds of chopsticks tapping and scraping against plates and bowls filled your ears. An awkward silence dominates your table as you start to pick at your food. 

“So,” Manager Chen cleared her throat, “after lunch I was thinking we should go to a meeting room and discuss Miss. Y/n’s role in our new project.”

“I was thinking the same for our new Intern Choi.” Manager An cut in, “What do you think, Manager Kim?” 

“It all sounds good. I will be accompanying Manager Chen to her meeting room as I wish to also further discuss the preliminary steps for our project.” Manager Kim looked from Manager Chen over to you. 

“Project?” You ask. 

“We’ve had a very successful year with our idol groups and we wanted to ride this success and start marketing in China. Recently, we’ve noticed a very large and growing Chinese audience for this group. I’m sure you’re very curious now, however we can discuss further details once we are in the meeting room.” Manager Chen replies while taking a sip of the water in her glass. 

Manager Chen appeared to be a very professional and respectable woman. With prominent collarbones and wide shoulders, she easily looked the part of a confident and adored manager. She needed minimal makeup to highlight her tall cheekbones, and even with a short heel on her feet she seemed to tower over you. However, her warm and comforting voice was what broke her intimidating demeanour. Just listening to her voice felt like you were back in your high school classroom with your favourite teacher explaining the motif of a sad love poem. 

After some more awkward conversations mixed with a few work discussions, the five of you finished the delicious food on your trays. 

“Please excuse me whilst I head to the restroom” Na-eun spoke up after your group finished clearing the table. 

“Please excuse me as well.” You quickly followed, bowing as you both ventured off to the washrooms. 

I should get her number so I’m not completely a loner in this place, you thought to yourself. And so, after a quick inner struggle to speak up, you finally decided to ask. 

“Hey, should we exchange contacts? I don’t wanna look like the newbie eating in the cafeteria alone after today.” You chuckled. 

“Totally!” Na-eun beamed. “I was actually thinking the same thing…” 

And so, you both quickly exchanged each other's contact as you made your way to the restrooms. 

The hall of the washrooms were narrow, hidden away from the main cafeteria. You walked in, deciding you only wanted to retouch your hair and makeup before your first official meeting. You carefully fix the loose hairs that somehow escaped the confines of your elastic and dab on a fresh layer of foundation before applying your lipstick which rubbed off while eating. Looking over at Na-eun, you see she’s quite in the zone redoing her mascara. 

“Hey, I’ll just wait for you in the hall.” You said. 

Na-eun gave you a disinterested nod back as she kept focusing on her mascara. 

You walked to the end of the hall, leaned against the wall, and pulled out your phone. Smiling, you opened the virtual Tamagotchi app and saw your little friend staring back at you, bouncing up and down. The bundle of virtual pixels happily bounced as you fed and bathed it, making you happier in return. Playing this game, you were so entranced with your phone that the abrupt closing of the washroom doors broke you out of your hypnosis fast, causing you to flinch and drop your phone. 

You looked up, only to see a brown haired man wearing a long sleeved black shirt. The hem of his sleeve fell, covering his hand as he bent down to pick up your phone. He stood back up, fully facing you now and you immediately recognized who he was. You weren’t a fool, of course you did all your research on the artists of JYPE before applying for the job. Looking down at you right now, holding your phone in his hand, was Bang Chan of Stray Kids. 

The wispy tufts of his brown hair bounced over his forehead as he stepped over to you. He smiled, his dimple poking out of his cheek, and handed your phone back to you. “I think you dropped this.”  

Blushing tomato red, you embarrassingly accepted the phone, trying not to make your shaking hands noticeable. It seemed like that failed, however, as you noticed him glance at your hands and dimple grow deeper. 

“Thank you.” You meekly chirped and lowered your head, still in awe that you somehow bumped into a JYPE idol in the bathroom hallway of a cafeteria. 

“It’s good that there’s no cracks.” Bang Chan said, looking in your eyes. 

You looked back into his eyes. His smile never left his face, and you physically felt the warmth radiating off his body like rays from the sun. Some boring, objective part of your brain knew this interaction only lasted a fraction of a second, but you swore that time froze.

“Hyung!” A distant voice called. 

Your trance was broken as Bang Chan looked over to the person calling his name. He turned back to you, politely bowed, and casually sauntered over to the man who called him. 

What just happened? Your inner monologue ran, still trying to process the embarrassing interaction. The scent of his cologne lingered, swirling the atmosphere around your body. 

Thankfully, you didn’t have too much time to dwell on this interaction as Na-eun finally opened the washroom doors and was making her way toward you. 

You and Na-eun trailed behind the managers until you reached the set of elevators. It was there where you had to unfortunately separate from your comfort work buddy as she hopped in the elevator across from yours with Manager An. The other two managers led you to the elevator at the end and pressed the button for your destination floor. The ride in the elevator was silent. You stood there, fiddling with your nails. 

Once the elevator gave the ding of arrival, the three of you headed down a hall where you presumed had the meeting room. 

Manager Kim took a look at the watch on his wrist. “We are a minute late, everybody should be there already. Enter silently and respectfully.” He said in a stern voice.

You reached the frosted glass door of the meeting room and entered through the already opened door. The managers followed behind you with Manager Chen being the last one in and closing the door. 

Your eyes widened at whom you saw.

There was Bang Chan, who sat in all his glory, staring right into your eyes with his mouth ajar. His shocked expression didn't last long, however, as he quickly composed himself to fit with the professional atmosphere of this room. 

But why was he here? You thought. He’s an artist, isn’t this a management meeting? 

Your inner monologue was broken by Manager Kim’s stern voice. “Y/n, why don’t you sit with me for today?” He asked with a slight tilt of the lips. His hand was hovering above your back, almost guiding you to the seat just right of the head chair. 

Your heart rate quickened. There was no way that you could handle sitting right beside a high position manager on your first day. You barely knew what your duties entailed, you definitely could not handle the pressure of this seat today. You whipped your head around to look for Manager Chen. She was already sitting in her seat, looking like she was right at home. 

“Manager Kim, if you don’t mind, I would like to sit in this position for today, '' a voice spoke up, “I have a lot of new ideas I’d like to share that are written in my notes.” 

Bang Chan.

He paused a brief second, eyes switching between you and Manager Kim, and raised his iPad to show the screen filled with words. 

“I don’t mind at all, go ahead.” Manager Kim monotonously replied. He then made his way to the head chair. 

You looked over at Bang Chan, trying to subtly send the most grateful facial expression over to him. He returned your look, slightly grinning as his fingers tapped on the screen of his iPad and sat down to the right of Manager Kim. You looked over to see Manager Chen gesturing you to sit in the chair beside her and swiftly made your way over. At your seat, she handed you a notepad and pen, both adorned with the JYPE logo. 

“Now, as of 1:02 p.m., September first, the meeting will officially begin.” Manager Kim clasped his hands together on top of the table. “As most of you already know, we are in the preliminary stages of planning a Chinese debut for our artist group ‘Stray Kids’. All we have right now is the estimated timeline, which is four months. We have a basic grasp of the concept we are working towards, however, as you all know, trends are always changing and growing. While we are working to create a new and original concept for Stray Kids, we also want the concept to gather as much audience reception as possible.” 

Wow. That was a lot to take in. Your hands struggled to keep up with writing down what Manager Kim was saying. You knew this relatively new group was really starting to explode in the past year, but a debut in another country? This group must work really hard to even have the company consider a step as risky as this. So this is why Bang Chan is also involved in this meeting. 

You peaked your head up from your notepad. Bang Chan sat across from you, one hand on his chin and the other one holding the pen to his tablet. 

Manager Kim then carefully discussed the duties that each group in the room would take. Many of the jobs were directly involved with developing the concept itself, such as producing music, concept art, and theme development. Your pen never took a break from gliding on the notepad as you hurriedly jotted down everything that Manager Kim said. 

Eventually, Manager Kim’s delegations moved to Manager Chen. “Manager Chen, I’ll let you take over from here.” 

“Thank you Manager Kim,” Manager Chen cleared her throat. “While my main job here was to market Korean comebacks towards the Chinese audience, this new project changes things up a bit. Now, not only will I be in charge of marketing to the Chinese audience, but I will also be directly in charge of the concept itself. I will be working carefully with our team in China to monitor the trends which we can incorporate into our debut.

“This is my new assistant, y/n,” She turned and gestured to you. You politely nodded your head. “She will be gathering information on useful trends and reporting back to me, as well as some translating. Please report any ideas that you deem useful to her by the end of every week for her to sort through and deliver to me.” 

You almost want to call Manager Chen crazy for giving you so much power, after all, you were only starting out as her assistant. Despite this, however, you were determined to go above and beyond with the new responsibilities given to you, after all, you knew that choosing to work in an organization as big as JYPE would take blood, sweat, and tears. 

After some clarifications given by Manager Chen and a few more questions directed at her, Manager Kim took the reins back in his hands. 

“Now, as I’m sure you all know, this is Bang Chan: the leader of Stray Kids. Although our management team is in charge of this debut, we like to include the opinions of artists whenever possible. He will make an appearance whenever he can and act as a representative of Stray Kids, sharing their ideas and opinions.” Manager Kim explained. 

Bang Chan politely introduced himself, and quickly went on to express some concerns of his members. He made sure that each concern was answered thoroughly by Manager Kim before moving on to the next. 

“As for our concept ideas,” Bang Chan’s soft brown eyes met yours, “will I have to report to y/n?” 

You felt your ears redden. 

“You could, yes,” Manager Kim straightened his back, “but if you find the weekly deadlines too much of a problem, you may just report to me or at any subsequent meeting.” 

“No worries sir,” Bang Chan’s eyes lingered on yours for a fraction of a second more before grinning at Manager Kim, “I’m always punctual.”  

The rest of the meeting consisted of more introductions and preliminary plans. After about an hour, everybody seemed satisfied with the contents of the meeting and were starting to pack up all their clutter on the table. You looked over at Manager Chen, silently asking what should I do next? 

Manager Chen smiled. “Let's head to my floor. I can give you a quick tour, you can get settled at your desk. I have some paperwork that I’m almost done with; I’m sure you’ll have no problem finishing it for me.” She already was standing up and straightening over the creases of her jacket. 

You stood up as well and followed behind Manager Chen like a lost baby duckling. You both made your way over to Manager Kim to bid farewell. You politely thanked him, said your goodbyes, and were about to leave when he stopped the two of you. 

“Manager Chen, let’s go out for drinks tonight.” Manager Kim took a look at the intricate watch on his wrist. “With our whole team, of course. It’ll be a welcoming night and we can get to know the people on our team better.” 

“That’s a great idea, Manager Kim,” Manager Chen nodded at his idea in approval. She turned on her iPad to quickly get a glimpse at her schedule. “What do you think y/n? Can you make it tonight? I know this is very last moment, but I think it’ll be a great opportunity for you to get to know your coworkers better.” 

“I should be able to make it.” You definitely could make it. You had no plans anyways. 

“Am I invited to this top secret party you’re all having?” A now very distinguishable voice came from behind you. Bang Chan stared at Manager Kim with a very mischievous expression. 

“Would your manager allow it?” Manager Kim questioned, knitting his eyebrows. 

“I’m on a diet, so I can’t drink alcohol or eat anything,” Bang Chan’s nose scrunched up in annoyance, “but I want to be as involved as I can. Just because I’m an idol doesn’t mean I can’t help behind the scenes as well.”

“Very well,” Manager Kim nodded with a fixed expression, “Let’s all meet at that restaurant about a block away west. I’ll go tell the others.” And with that, Manager Kim left you, Manager Chen, and Bang Chan to stand in awkward silence. 

“Well,” Bang Chan cleared his throat and clapped his hands together, “I’ll get going as well to do some work now, but it was nice meeting the both of you.” 

“You as well.” Manager Chen replied for the both of you and Bang Chan left soon after. 

Manager Chen then led you to the elevators again and you headed up yet another few floors to reach your destination. You nervously fiddled with your hair as you silently waited behind your boss, looking up at the smooth lines of her blazer every few seconds. The elevator doors dinged, letting you know of its arrival. The two of you swiftly headed out the elevators and walked to what you presumed was Manager Chen’s office area. You kept following behind Manager Chen in silence before you stopped in front of a set of doors that looked identical to the ones at the previous meeting room. Manager Chen opened the doors for you, and you headed in. 

You paused a step in, looking wide-eyed at the interior. The office was clean. A big glass desk sat right in the middle of the vast room in front of a huge set of windows. There were a couple of soft looking chairs placed right before the desk with a huge rug right underneath it. Over to your left, you spotted a water dispenser with a kettle right beside it. You stared at the room a bit longer before realizing you must have looked very stupid with that astonished look on your face. 

“Is this your office, Manager Chen?” You asked. 

“Yes. It seems that you like it,” She chuckled. You felt the heat rise to your ears. 

“Since you’ll be working so close to me, I’m sure you’ll be happy to come here more often.” 

“Thanks.” You awkwardly laughed. You blamed your bad response on the fact that you still weren’t familiar with the language, not your blatant awkwardness. 

Manager Chen made her way over to her desk, picking up a small stack of papers. “These are some letters I’ve received from several designer companies in China. Since we are still in the very preliminary stages of this project, we would like to keep our options open for the stylists here.” She picks an annotated letter from the pile. “I’ve translated and created a summary of the main points of this letter. There are a few more left which I believe I can trust you with. Just do as I did with this letter and add the sample pictures along with it.”

You quickly complied, taking the stack of papers from her hands. 

“I’ll show you to your new work space.” She led you out of your office and over to a cubicle that wasn’t too far away. It was considerably smaller compared to Manager Chen’s office, but you thought it had a certain coziness to it. Plus, working close to your coworkers could also boost your motivation. “Here is your desk, it’s not the most exciting thing, but you may bring photos or whatnot to decorate it. Now, I’ll let you settle in and get started on your work. You can meet me at my office around six, I can double check your work before we leave.” 

You thanked her before she left and immediately got started on your work. You diligently translated the whole of the letters before picking out the main points that matched with Manager Chen’s example. After this was done, you included the photos that came with each letter and slipped them into their own cozy folder. This work was monotonous, sure, but it was something you needed on your hectic first day here. 

You were so captivated by your work that you completely forgot about the time. The sun was starting to set, and you only remembered to look at the time after you tucked your last letter neatly in its folder. You briefly panicked, praying that you weren’t making your manager wait. Thankfully, it was only a quarter until six. You took the next fifteen minutes double checking your work, making sure to also check the time every once in a while. At exactly six, you left your desk and scurried over to the big doors of Manager Chen’s office. 

Knocking a couple times, you waited patiently to be let in. 

“Come in.” 

You let yourself in, handing the papers to your manager, then sat quietly in one of the chairs before her desk, crossing your fingers together. You fiddled with your thumbs, patiently waiting for Manager Chen to speak up. 

“Not bad, this is some decent work.” Manager Chen announced as soon as she finished glossing over your work. “I’ve noted some places that you can either fix or improve. I’ll scan them and hand you a copy tomorrow.” 

You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding. A tidal wave of relief washed over you as you let yourself relax further into your chain. Not bad, this is some decent work. You proudly repeated this moment in your brain. Although you were disappointed with the mistakes that you let slip through, to get somewhat of a compliment on your first day meant a lot to you. 

“Shall we get going now?” Manager Chen asked. 

You grabbed your bag and stood up. “I’ll let you lead the way.” 

                                                         _______

It seemed like all you were doing on your first day was following Manager Chen around like a lost puppy. The situation right now was no exception either, as you tried to copy her confident strides over to the restaurant a block down. You watched the busy rush hour streets and sidewalks fill with people, some people going home after a long day, some people going to party just like you.

Soon, after a few more minutes of walking, the both of you arrived at the small wooden doors of the restaurants. It seemed like the both of you were a bit late as Manager Kim was already waiting in front of the entrance with the rest of the team. Bang Chan was also there, head down looking at his phone. 

“Sorry we’re late, have you been waiting for long?” Manager Chen somehow sounded confident despite making everybody wait on her.

Her voice seemed to have caught everybody’s attention. You watched as Bang Chan swiftly turned his head up from his phone, his eyes making contact with yours. You immediately focused your eyes somewhere else, trying to casually play off the fact that your eyes subconsciously drifted to him. 

“We’ve only been waiting for a couple minutes.” Manager Kim gave a tight smile. “Let’s go in before you all get too cold.” 

Your little group of around ten people slowly entered the doors, filling the restaurant. Manager Kim called over a waitress, signaling that you had ten people in your group, and let the waitress lead you all to a long wooden table. 

The restaurant was nice, nothing too fancy, but that’s how you could tell the food was good. With dim lighting and tightly packed tables, it made you feel fuzzy and warm on the inside. 

However, your thoughts on the restaurant were soon broken by a hand on your shoulder. 

“Y/n, why don’t you sit with me?” Manager Kim’s lips curled up, “After all, this is a work gathering, how good of a boss would I be if I didn’t even treat my newest team member to a drink?” 

Your brain was in shambles. You seriously didn’t feel comfortable sitting with him all night. However, the logical side of your brain was saying something different. He’s just being nice as a boss. You don’t know how people in this country act anyways, stop being paranoid. 

It seemed like your inner turmoil was taking longer than necessary, as you heard another familiar voice speak up. 

“Manager Kim-” Bang Chan called out. 

“You don’t need to sit with me here, Bang Chan.” Manager Kim chuckled as he stared directly in Bang Chan’s eyes. “I’d rather not talk about work outside the office.”

You watched as Bang Chan’s eyebrows furrowed, looking back to you in reluctance. You smiled at him before turning your attention to Manager Kim. It was just one night, right? Plus, there’s no harm in establishing a good impression with your boss. 

“I’ll sit with you, Manager Kim.” You smiled, “thanks for offering.”

And so, you took your seat next to Manager Kim at the table. Bang Chan, who was to your left, looked askance at Manager Kim for a brief second before his facial expression did a complete 180. His familiar, boy-ish smile was plastered on his face like it was the most natural thing. 

When the menus came, everybody at the table — including you — started to order onslaughts of food and alcohol. After brief moments of casual chatter about topics such as the weather or how good the food was here, everything that was ordered arrived at your table.

You grabbed a can of beer and started sipping on it. You’ve drank before — of course — with your old friends at university, but it’s been at least a year since you last did. Better ease myself in. You thought. 

However, your preconceived plans were ruined when a small glass of clear liquor got pushed in front of you. 

“Y/n, surely you aren’t going to sip on that can all night.” The ends of Manager Kim’s lips curled up. 

“Wasn’t planning to, sir.” You replied while tipping the glass up and into your mouth. The bitter liquid burned your throat as it went down. You took a moment to recollect your surroundings. Seems like your tolerance was higher than you thought. 

“Bang Chan, do you not drink? Why not eat something then?” Manager Chen pointed to the food on the table. 

“No can do ma’am, I’m on a strict diet. My manager would kill me.” Bang Chan pointed to his glass of water. 

“In that case,” Manager Chen filled another glass, “Y/n, have another drink.” She slid the glass down the table in front of you. 

You gladly accepted your second drink, downing the alcohol in one go. Your eyes instinctively squeezed together as you felt your throat burn. From the tips of your ears to the ends of your toes, your whole body felt warm and alive. 

You lost track of the time. As your conversations got livelier, your head got fuzzier. You stopped counting your drinks after four, especially since so many people were eager to offer the new employee a drink. Although your vision was starting to blur, you could still think straight. I can still think, you thought to yourself, still — what a powerful buzz.

Your thoughts ran rampant in your mind as you stared at the lightbulb across the room. What a pretty light. So bright. Warm. 

“Y/n.”

Was the light calling your name? 

“Y/n!” 

Your eyes focused again and snapped away from the lightbulb. Where was the voice coming from? You slowly turned your head. Bang Chan.

“Hi.” You smiled. 

“Hi.” He smiled back. So bright. Warm. “It’s been hours and I haven’t even offered you a drink yet.” 

You tried to focus your eyes on his face as he slid the glass over to you. One more drink wouldn’t hurt your buzz, right?  

You gladly accepted, slowly moving your hand over to the glass to pick the clear liquid up. It went down in one go just like all the others. 

Huh? Was this water? 

You struggled to focus your eyes on the person who offered you the drink. “That was yummy.” 

“I bet it was,” the talking blur chuckled, “How about another one?”

You nodded, then took the glass he slid towards you. It’s funny how water flows even when in a cup. Water. You needed to pee. 

“Hey,” your words dragged out, “where’s uh, where’s the washroom?”

“Follow me. I’ll show you.” Manager Kim stood up and reached his hand out towards you. You didn’t want to take it, but it seemed like nobody was noticing his offer. 

Reluctantly, you took his hand and stood up, only to stumble down again. Did your knees not want to listen? 

“Whoa there, better hold on.” Manager Kim said. 

“No, I can walk. I-I can walk.” You let go of Manager Kim and tried to focus all your brainpower on moving your feet in a straight line. This tactic only worked for a second, however, as your knees gave in and you stumbled down. 

“It’s obvious that you can’t.” Manager Kim’s lips turned up. “It’s time for you to go home. I’ll take you back.” 

What? No. You didn’t want Manager Kim to take you home, not after all the awkward events of today and the general vibe from him. You tried to express your thoughts, but nothing came out of your mouth. 

“Manager Kim, you’ve been drinking!” Bang Chan’s voice came from some part of the room. “It’s not safe to drive, I’ll call a taxi for you.” 

“What about Y/n here? I’ll get a taxi for us both.” Manager Kim said. 

“I called my manager earlier to pick me up, we can drop her off along the way. It’s not a good idea to put two drunk people in a car. I’m completely sober right now, so let me do all the work.” Bang Chan grinned, patting Manager Kim on his shoulder. 

“Is that what you want, Y/n?” Manager Kim glared. 

You dizzily nodded. 

“Alright. In that case, I can call my own taxi later.” Manager Kim grimaced. 

“Stay safe, Manager Kim.” Bang Chan smiled. He turned to you. “My manager’s been waiting outside for a while now, do you want to leave now?” 

You nodded. You tried to start walking again, but your damn knees just wouldn’t listen. 

“Do you want to hold on to me?” Bang Chan knitted his brows together and held out an arm.

“I,” you slurred, “can walk.” You tried to start your feet again, only to end up stumbling down. 

“I know you can,” Bang Chan said as he reached his hands out to stabilize you, “but — ah —  I’m really tired after today. Can you hold on to my arm so I won’t fall out of exhaustion?” 

You agreed to help him. Bang Chan waved to everybody still at the table before leading the two of you out to a black SUV. He allowed you to stumble your way in the back seats first before sliding in himself. He asked you for your address, which took many tries for you to accurately type it into his phone. 

You leaned your head against the window, staring at passing blurred lights as Bang Chan’s manager started driving. Just being away from the loud and bright environment seemed to have cleared your head a little, but the pounding would not stop. You cursed yourself for being so irresponsible on your first day, especially because you were still alone in this new country.   

“Hey,” you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder, “want some water?” You looked over to see Bang Chan holding out a plastic bottle with the lid screwed off. 

You languidly reached your hand out for the bottle and gulped down as much water as you could in one breath before handing it back to him. The street lights started getting blurrier as you tried to fight exhaustion, the muscles in your eyelids starting to get more and more uncontrollable. 

“Y/n.” 

“Hmm?”

“Don’t fall asleep yet, we’re almost there. Ten more minutes.” 

You couldn’t hear anything after that, however, as you felt your eyes give up on you and your body fall into a deep sleep. 

“Y/n… Y/n.” A familiar voice called.

You fluttered your eyes open, your head pounding. Not knowing where you were, you surveyed your surroundings in a panic. It seemed as though you were in the back of a car… Parked outside of your apartment building? 

“Hey, you’re finally awake.” Bang Chan’s voice entered your ear. It all came rushing back to you; the restaurant, the drinking, entering the SUV. 

“How long have we been parked here?” Your groggy voice sounded inhuman. You had to clear your throat a couple times. 

“It’s only been twenty or so minutes. I’m not allowed to leave the car, are you able to get home alone? I can ask my manager to go with you.” Bang Chan scratched the back of his neck. 

“I should be fine.” You mumbled, a bit embarrassed to have fallen asleep in the car of a person you just met that day. This wasn’t even his car, it was his manager’s. 

“Hey… can I put my number in your phone?” Bang Chan avoided your eyes. “Just so you can tell me when you get home.” He quickly added. 

“Okay.” You awkwardly handed him your phone with your contacts already opened. He quickly typed his phone number in before handing it back to you. 

“Text me when you get home. Remember to lock your door, okay?” 

You thank both him and his manager before hurrying back to your apartment. Your head was still pounding unrelentlessly as you pressed the elevator button for your floor. The events of today were still unprocessed in your brain. You met a potential friend, which was a highlight. However, you also met two higher up managers and an actual idol, only to get hilariously drunk in the presence of. At least it’ll make a good story to tell my mom. You thought. 

In no time, you made it in your apartment and locked the door behind you, remembering what Bang Chan told you in the car. You texted the new number in your phone. 

Y/n: Hi. It’s y/n. I just entered my apartment.

Not even a minute later, your phone lit up, signaling a new text message. 

Bang Chan: great!! remember to lock the doooor hahaha ( ◕ω◕✿ )

You subconsciously grin at your phone. Cute. Throwing your phone haphazardly on your bed, you begrudgingly began your night routine. After washing up and throwing on a random shirt from your closet, you fell on your bed ready to sleep. You were about to close your eyes when your phone lit up again with a ding. It was another text.

Bang Chan: Hey… Just so you know, if you ever feel unsafe around the office just tell me okay? I’ll always try to help you in whatever way I can.

[ilikemesometaetaes]

Don’t Hold Your Breath ~ jjk

Prologue

•••> Author: @ilikemesometaetaes​

•••> Summary: As the CEO of an international government security company, you have the world at your fingertips. Living life lavishly and extravagantly has become the norm. Behind closed doors, however, you host a past that renders you lonely and, quite frankly, miserable. It’s only a matter of time before your past comes back to bite you right in the ass.

•••> Pairing(s): Jungkook/Reader

•••> Inspo: This fic is inspired by the song “SAVAGE ANTHEM” by PARTYNEXTDOOR. Thank you to @btssmutgalore​ for everything you’ve done to help me! You’re amazing!

•••> Word Count: 2.3k

•••> Rating: 18+ • Please do not read if you are below the age of 18. I do not condone minors reading my work. Of course, I cannot stop you.

•••> Tags: angst | ceo!au | rockstar!au | CEO!Reader | Rockstar!Jungkook | AU!BTS | Exes to Lovers

•••> Warnings: a boatload of angst, heartbreak, cursing, pining, kissing, depression. Warnings are written specifically to chapter. Refer to the DHYB Main Page for the full rundown.

Note: I don’t have a beta reader so please forgive any mistakes I may have missed. Also, if you are confused by the italics, refer to the DHYB Main Page for info on that.

Copyright © 2020 ilikemesometaetaes. All Rights Reserved.

Taglist: @apurpledheart​

If you’d like to be added to the taglist, add a comment to this chapter or the DHYB Main Page!

NAVIGATION: | > Chapter One (M) –> Mini-Masterlist -> Series Masterlist

~#~

NOW.

The bed was cold around you.

You felt yourself breathe. You felt your heart beating in your chest. You felt the evidence of physical life within your body.

But you couldn’t help the withdrawn and frigid feeling of death laced into your mind.

You felt alone. You felt longing. You felt numb yet riddled with too many emotions to comprehend all at once.

Overwhelmed with confusion, you went to the moment that brought you calm. It brought you peace and happiness despite the things lost.

The beautiful dream-like vision of butterflies and a certain meadow filled your memory as you laid in the darkness. Sighing with content, you let yourself remember.

“Fuck Jimin and his girlfriend. We can have all the fun on our own.” He sneered in his Satoori accent. After years of knowing you, Jungkook slipped from his proper accent whenever the two of you were alone. All you could do was chuckle at his harsh words.

The blanket laid out before you was a pristine sky blue. Jungkook had gathered small stones to hold it down at the corners.

“What have you been up to today?” You asked with a hint of breathlessness due to the trek the two of you had made to get to the peak of the large hill. Turning your head to look at him while you spoke, you noticed that his head was craned upwards, gaze locked on the sky.

In response to your query, he collapsed back onto the blanket, allowing his white t-shirt to slightly ride up, revealing a small sliver of the skin on his stomach in the process. The white reflected the sun in your eyes almost painfully, but not enough to take away from the angel-like glow that it gave him.

“Nothing much. Played video games for an hour or so. Cooked and made breakfast.” He angled his head slightly to look at you. "Finished up my essay for my philosophy class. You?”

“Oh, just the usual. Didn’t finish my calc assignment by noon so I’m only going to get partial credit for that.”

Your reply reminded you of how different the two of you were when it came to school. His alone time spent in his dorms went one of two ways; he either played video games with Taehyung or studied- there was no other. His scoff broke you out of your brief thoughts.

“You know, you’re going to end up falling behind this semester, and then we won’t have the same class for our last semester as college students.” His pout that accompanied his statement had your eyes flicking to his bottom lip which shined with a slight sheen of saliva, accentuating the plumpness of it.

It was no secret that you found Jungkook attractive. Hell, even Yoongi found him attractive and Yoongi was quite impassive. Even now, with his eyes squinting under the light of the sun, his hair messy, and a thin layer of sweat covering his skin, you found him absolutely breathtaking.

You remembered how the two of you met.

Shared classes brought you closer together. Ever since you had first met him during your sophomore year when you became part of a foreign exchange program in South Korea, the two of you clicked. Realizing that he spoke English- rough English- had you giddy and eager to teach him to perfect his language skills in return for helping you with your Korean. Needless to say, you learned Korean a bit quicker than he learned English seeing as one of your majors was dedicated to the language learning.

After you decided to stay in Korea and finish the requirements for one of your degrees at your other university online, the two of you grew close in the process of mutual education. When you decided to stay was when you actually got to know him.

He was pursuing a degree in music, specializing in vocal performance, while you were working towards a double major in political science and language studies with a minor in business. Although you were packed full of classes, your work ethic was definitely capable of improvement despite having helped you survive to senior year.

“I know, Kook, but I honestly don’t know why math is required for my major anyway. I just want to be done with it.” You grumbled and adjusted your clothes before laying beside him.

He sighed wistfully, signifying his state of relaxation and calm, which you found yourself fighting a smile for. Of all of the time you had been around Jungkook, he was always emotionally charged or stressed. There was never a time you knew him to be absolutely at peace or silent in the way he acted. To hear him decompress was still a relatively new concept to you and had you giddy to relax with him in hopes that he would open up to you.

A few moments of silence rested between you both, effectively ending the previous conversation.

“Do you think about him anymore?” He voiced, distracting you from eyeing a cloud as it covered the sun. The break from sunlight was welcome on your straining brows.

It took you a moment to respond, caught off guard by the loaded question. He knew of your situation because you were open with him. But why did he care? “Sometimes. I know that he wasn’t good for me. I know that I gave him too much slack and that’s why he lied to me.” You sighed.

“Yeah,” He chuckled dryly. “That dude was an asshole.”

“I still don’t get it. I told him that everything he did was okay. I told him all he had to be was honest and that I wouldn’t be mad at him.” The frustration of your breakup with your ex-boyfriend was nowhere close to being gone. Eleven months of lies and deceit despite the good memories was difficult to remove from your conscience.

He had used drugs, something you weren’t a fan of. Despite this, on top of the fact that it was illegal, you knew that it helped his depression and you loved him throughout his questionable choices on how to treat himself. All you had asked for was his honesty; all you wanted was for him to tell you when he used.

Jungkook sat up to look at you. He frowned and then reached towards you to brush away some of the hair that fell over your forehead.

“I get that he did you wrong. Believe me. I get it. But the fact that you still think about it is irritating. It’s been a year, right?” His scowl made him look adorable.

“Something like that.” You sighed.

“And you haven’t moved on?” He asked, concerned. You were about to reply in defense before he cut in again. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I know you don’t have those types of feelings for him anymore, but you haven’t moved on from the situation?”

Your reply was curt. “I’ve moved on. I’m just annoyed.”

He sighed and looked down at his hand that he wasn’t leaning on, toying with the fabric of the blanket, before laying back down with an elongated exhale. He knew this conversation was over.

After a while of laying down in the sun in comfortable silence, you noticed that the clouds were starting to roll in more frequently, accompanied by a cooler breeze. When you craned your head back to look upwind, you saw the darkness of a storm system crawling across the sky.

“Hey Jungkook. I think we-“ Snore.

You cut yourself off at the sound, quickly snapping your head to survey the sleeping boy beside you. Eyebrows completely relaxed and lips slightly parted, he was a sight to behold. His hair had fallen over his eyes slightly, urging you to return the favor in brushing it out of the way. He stirred slightly before settling back down and sighing. What a sight to behold indeed.

The deep rumbling of thunder is what caused you both to jump and look at the sky. “Jesus.” He croaked while abruptly sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. “How long was I out?”

“I’m not sure. I only realized you were sleeping a few seconds ago.” You began picking up your things whilst he picked up the blanket, draping it over his arm.

The first few raindrops of the storm had only just begun; a light pitter-patter at random places in the grass began slowly at first, gradually picking up pace as you and Jungkook were packing up the last of your things.

You giggled as the rain started hitting your face. It reminded you of tiny, cold kisses. Jungkook, on the other hand, used the blanket to shield his head after slinging his backpack onto one shoulder. His face was scrunched up in an unconscious attempt to keep the rain out of his eyes.

“Let’s get out of here.” He huffed tiredly.

“Good idea.” You laughed.

The trek down the hill and back to Jungkook’s old truck accelerated to a jog following the increased pattern of raindrops hitting the ground. Before long, even you were seeking shelter under the blanket he was holding over his head. After a few minutes of laughing breathlessly and bumping into each other on the path back to the truck, you had decided to hold the other end of the blanket since he wasn’t really holding it over your head effectively. His free arm consequently ended up slung over your shoulders while your free arm draped over his.

The tan truck came into view after your twenty-minute journey back. By this point, the blanket had soaked through and both of you were drenched. Making quick work of the passenger side door, he slid in first to cross the seat while you followed suit with a huff.

“Well…” Jungkook trailed off, placing his bag and the wet blanket between you before running his fingers through his long and very wet hair in order to push it away from his eyes. “Shit.” He looked at you with finality and a small grin gracing his face.

You gazed at his beauty, glancing at his lips as he spoke, before meeting his chocolate brown gaze. Want filled your body as the adrenaline from the past few minutes surged through your veins, rendering you mute. Heartbeat running absolutely erratic and breath suddenly short, you became acutely aware of how tight of a space the two of you were in and how quiet the cabin of the truck became.

Oh, how you wanted to kiss him.

The seconds seemed to pass like hours. The mood in the truck morphed from playful and light to something else. Something thicker. Headier. Heavier.

The pressure of the moments passing by bristled you with tremors as your previous levels of adrenaline spiked almost uncontrollably. You didn’t miss the way his bottom lip twitched in the slightest of movement.

His eyes glanced at your lips for a split second, giving you no time to adjust to the quick movement, before his hand was on the back of your neck to usher you to him in a messy kiss. Heat flooded your body as the taste of his breath caressed your tongue.

“Y/N.” He breathed after momentarily pulling away. His dark eyes were filled with passionate fire, pupils dilated almost scarily. “You-” His lips reattached to yours before he could finish speaking, illuminating just how shocked and pleased he was with your kiss.

His lips were as soft as silk as they glid against your own, slotting perfectly in shape. His warm breath tasted mildly of morning breath- not that you minded- but mostly blueberry as you came to discover that he had slipped a jolly rancher into his mouth sometime during your journey back to the truck. You giggled at the thought of how much he loved candy, earning a smile from him as he continued to press his lips to your own.

There was no way you’d be able to pull away just to speak. Speaking was so unnecessary. Words were irrelevant in that moment. 

Why speak when you could kiss him? When you could feel the way his lips moved against yours in ways they could never move when speaking? When they conveyed more emotions than any word could ever express? Why would you even bother ever speaking anymore when you could spend the rest of your life kissing Jeon Jungkook?

You answered your own questions as his arm lopped around your waist to pull your body closer to his: you wouldn’t.

Of course, those were thoughts in the heat of the moment. Simpler times called for simpler feelings. The pure and innocent ardor of love and adoration paired with the excitement of new attraction was a welcome sensation in contrast to the empty and cold feeling of your everyday life. You were sick of feeling numb.

Too many years were spent in emotional solitary confinement. Keeping your emotions at bay began affecting your health, causing your hair to thin and your skin to wither like paper. It took looking at yourself in the mirror after mulling over a photo of you and Jungkook before you noticed the difference. You hadn’t even noticed that you lost a considerable amount of weight.

Therapy had helped for a little while, but it didn’t assist you when you began seeing his face on news articles and TV once your sessions ended.

Even after the things that he had done, you were no stranger to the feeling of longing that you had for him- for the echoes of what used to be.

In your cold, companionless room, tears ran down your cheeks in mourning.

Of course, it was too good to last.

[bangtan-madi]

noel on ice — kim namjoon

Pairing — Namjoon x Reader, feat. minor mention of Jungkook x OC

Genre — fluff, holiday, minor angst, mental health

Tags — strangers to lovers, figure skater!Namjoon, barista!MC, non-idol au, figure skater au, café au, holiday au

Word Count — 16k

Summary —  After sustaining a crushing defeat at the World Figure Skating Championships, falling from his perfect gold standard to his long-time rival, Kim Namjoon returns to South Korea with an unsure heart and accompanying injury. At the same time, Y/N is as far from home as she has ever been due to a falling out with her family, working as a barista at a café in Seoul while trying to finish her degree. As if by fate, the two meet, and Namjoon makes it his goal to make Y/N see the magic of the holidays -- one Christmas adventure across Seoul at a time. 

Warnings — minor language, brief anxiety attack, mentions of ptsd related symptoms

A/N — This year has been a very difficult one for us all. For my fic in this Christmas collab, I wanted to acknowledge all of that and give a little mental health break for everyone. All of our experiences have been different, but one thing we all have in common is that 2020 was unexpected, painful, and heavy. Please, no matter what holiday you celebrate, let yourself have as much rest and healing as you need. If this little, probably-needs-more-editing-than-I-had-time-for fic can help you get there — even just for the twenty minutes it takes to read — then my job is done ❤️ I love you all, and I know I speak for the others when I say I hope 2021 treats us all so much kinder, and I hope we learn to love ourselves in spite of our worlds around us.

Playlist — Link here.

Christmas Collaboration — this fic is a part of the Christmas Collab by @kooala (link coming soon!)

"Hey—Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Raising your head slightly, your eyes widening as you realize you've zoned out again, focusing on the snowfall outside instead of the next customer in line. The woman waving her hand in front of you is as foreign to South Korea as you are, but her expression is entirely that of an angry American. Her scowl has etched deep lines into her skin, where smile lines should be.

Unfortunately, her face is all too familiar. Usually it pays to be one of the only native English-speakers at your café; however, when Americans come in, you're the one pushes to take their orders and serve them.

Even the most difficult ones.

"S—Sorry, Ma'am," you mutter. Shaking your head, you force a customer-service smile. "I was just admiring the snowfall. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Oh, yeah," she retorts sarcastically. "So beautiful that it's making travel home nearly impossible. Can you please just make my drink so I can leave?"

"I—I didn't hear it, Ma'am. Can you repeat it please?"

While the woman rolls her eyes, she repeats her order swiftly, muttering something along the lines of, "Baristas these days, I swear to god," under her breath. "Make sure to get it right this time. Every time I come in and order a blended cappuccino, you guys end up giving me a latte, which is not what I ordered."

"And every time, we have to explain that all a latte is, is a blended cappuccin—"

"—I don't want to hear it!"

With a sigh, you ring up the total for the "blended cappuccino, not latte" and let the woman pay. From the sidelines, your co-worker Lisa stands with a glare and a tin of heated milk ready to go for your order.

"Ms. Blended cappuccino again?" she asks as you turn towards her with a note written in perfect Hangul.

You nod, running  a hand over your hair in frustration. "I hate being the only native bi-lingual person here. Means I get to deal with her every damn time."

Sensing your downtrodden spirit, Lisa pushes you out of the way, giving you a gentle shove towards the back room. "I got this one. Go take a breather in the back, okay?"

"But—"

"—Ah! No buts. I know enough English to get by."

From the front desk, the woman pipes up again, demanding her drink be made faster. Lisa marches past your, arms herself with the imaginary drink, and says in perfect English, "You're in Seoul now. Speak Korean."

Knowing Lisa can handle the absolute hell-spawn that is an angry American Karen, you turn your back to the drama and shuffle to the break room behind the "employees only" door. An exasperated breath escapes as you revel in the silence, pushing away the muffled café sounds on the other side of the door. Being the only one in the break room, you spot your favorite white chocolate mocha on the side table, with a smiley face sticky note indicating it's from Lisa beside it.

You smile gently at the sweet gesture, and shove the sticky note into your pocket as a reminder to yourself to thank her later.

Taking the mug between your overworked hands, you settle down on the window seat and watch the December sky slowly shift from violet to navy. The mocha is just slightly sweet with a hint of peppermint, just like you like it. It's almost enough to illicit the Christmas spirit lying dormant inside you.

There's something incredibly painful about this particular holiday season, you think to yourself as the cars pass swiftly on the street outside. The glittering lights, the beautiful carols, the crystalline snow — none of it feels the same as last year.  The holidays are supposed to be a time of comfort and renewal, but this year — after moving halfway around the world by yourself — your heart is starting to wonder if that part of you has died.

Maybe it's the loneliness you're feeling, or maybe it's the fact that you're so far away from home. Or maybe it's the fresh-in-your-mind arguments and falling out with your family over the summer. That bitter taste lingers still in the back of your throat, not unlike a dark espresso.  A Christmas season without your parents and siblings; you never thought living your own life and following your happiness could hurt so much. For better or worse, that nostalgic feeling family and friends bring is long gone. And now you're nostalgic for nostalgia itself; what kind of messed up feeling is that?

You've had twenty-four wondrous, magical holiday seasons. Is it part of growing up that your allotment of joyful Christmas days is limited?

Is twenty-five the year that the magic just...stops?

When the night sky becomes unchanging, the door to the café kitchen opens. Lisa peeks her head inside, side-bangs falling in her face. "How's the mocha? Did I get it right?"

You take the last sip with a grateful smile, then place the mug onto the coffee table. "You nailed it. Thank you, I needed that."

Pride swells in Lisa's chest, and her shoulders straighten as she enters the room. "Well, good news. Karen's gone," she announces, "and your favorite customer is here!"

"Who?"

Lisa places her hand horizontally at her hip-level. "About this tall? Loves peppermint hot choco?

Bolting from your seat, all your concerns are momentarily gone. Your co-worker doesn't have to utter another word to get you to exit the back room and reenter the kitchen.

Across the counter, a mop of black hair is barely visible. Dark brown eyes peer over the granite surface; they twinkle and shine at the sight of you. Tiny hands splay on the surface in an attempt to make the small child taller. He's around seven to eight years, you estimate. Nine or ten at the very most. Definitely not out of primary school. And he's your very favorite customer, because unlike most, this child comes in with a toothy grin almost every single day with enough money for a peppermint hot chocolate. He's never late, and he's never unhappy. If the Sun were to bless the world with a ray of sunshine in human form, this kid would be it.

"Ahjumma!" the little boy shouts, a grin plastered on his face.

Instead of having him crane his neck, you walk around the counter, bend down on one knee, and ignore the other customers behind him. Pulling one of the tiny baked goods from your apron pocket, you offer the sweet to the child with a wink.

"You're here awfully late, Yeongu. You're usually here right after school lets out. It's already after dark."

Yeongu digs through his pocket and pulls out several crumpled won, enough for his beverage of choice. "Tomorrow is the last day before Christmas break, so dad picked me up and took me skating. I'm with mom and her boyfriend for the rest of the month 'cause Dad's going to Busan with his new wife. I don't like her that much. She frowns too much. And she smells like soju and taffy."

You exchange the won for the baked treat, laughing softly as you invite the boy onto the corner table nearest the hot chocolate machines. "You don't like taffy, do you?"

He makes a face and takes a big bite of the delicacy. "My teacher tells us that if we eat taffy, it will help us remember things. I ate too much of it last year, and now I hate it. Dad's new wife must always be forgetting things, because she always smells like it!"

After finishing the simple drink, you slide the mug across the table and plop down in the seat across from the small boy. "So does this mean I won't get to see you until after Christmas?"

Yeongu shakes his head. "I'll be by tomorrow after. Mom wanted to visit my cousin before we left. He's back in town for Christmas, and we haven't seen him in a long time."

"Oh? What does he do?"

"Sports."

At that, the boy changes the conversation. "What are you doing for Christmas, Ahjumma?"

"Yeah, Ahjumma," Lisa pipes up after serving the final to-go customer for the night. She flips the sign on the front door and turns back to the two of you, hand on her hip. "What are you doing for your first Christmas in Korea?"

Shrugging slightly, you turn your attention back to the small child across from you. "I'll probably spend the day with Mochi — my cat — probably studying so I'll be ahead in the new year for my next classes." Lisa gives an empathetic look at the mention of your kitten, which causes you to roll your eyes playfully. "Don't give me that look! I'll be fine. Probably best for me to have a relaxed, non-hectic couple of days. This year has been a rough one."

"That sounds sad," Yeongu states bluntly, earning a snicker from Lisa.

"Kid's right. Absolutely dreadful, [Y/n]. What a lame Christmas."

"What about you, then? Do you have any plans for Christmas?"

At the question, Lisa's smirk drops and she perks up. "Well, I'm sure you know, but Christmas in Korea is pretty different from America," Lisa reminds you, and you nod your acknowledgement. "It's more of a couple holiday, so my boyfriend Jungkook and I are planning to take the week off and do a ton of holiday activities together. Mostly outdoors stuff. Y'know, snowboarding, skiing, snowball fights — the usual."

"Sounds like a blast," you laugh.

"Oh, it will be." She gives a wink, then nods to Yeongu. "Are we about done here? I need to head out if you're okay with locking up for the night."

You give a wave of approval as the child nears the end of his glass. "I got this. Say hello to Jungkookie for me."

Lisa flashes a set of extravagant finger hearts before disappearing into the back, where she gathers her personal items and exits out the rear entrance. In her absence, Yeongu tugs on your sleeve and holds up an empty mug.

"Thank you for the hot choco, Ahjumma," he grins, showing the dark stain on his upper lip.

Taking the mug, you use the edge of your apron to clean the mess from his face. "If you come by tomorrow before you leave with your Eomma, I'll make you another with extra peppermint, okay?"

The boy's smile grows, and he hops up from the table with a swift bow. "I'll be here!" He heads for the door with a skip in his step.

"Will you get home all right?" you call after him.

Yeongu turns and grins. "I will, don't worry, Ahjumma!"

And then he's gone, out the door in a rush of energy and giggles towards his home nearby. You merely shake your head; there's no point in going after him now.

Soon after, you're following in his step. It doesn't take you long to clean up. By the time you lock up and exit out the back, snow has begun to fall. You brave the cold, tugging your coat tighter around you, burying your face into your scarf. The journey to the subway is short, and your feet take you quickly. Even still, you stare upward at the snowy clouds in hope that they might spark a semblance of Christmas joy in your heart.

Tonight, like every other night, nothing changes.

You heave a sigh, and the breath billows out as a visible fog as you enter the station. Going through the motions to get to your apartment is easy. A swipe of a card, a short ride to the edge of the neighborhood, and a trek up the set of stairs. Once through the door, you're greeted by a mewing shadow of a cat.

"Hi, my baby girl," you greet with a soft smile, bending down to scratch the tiny fur ball behind the ears. The black cat rubs her chin against your palm and follows you when you waltz to the kitchen. "You hungry?"

As if responding, "Yes!" Mochi speeds up and meows a bit louder than last time.

Her antics bring a smile to your face as you turn on the television for background noise. You find the nearest Korean news station, finding the program in the middle of a report on Korea's favorite rap duo and their upcoming tour: Suga and J-Hope. Your intention with the selection is two-fold — first, to continue to enhance your skills of the Korean language, and two, to continue learning about the culture and world of your new home. While you had extensive knowledge of both before moving to Seoul — despite the process being rather quick due to the fallout with your family — nothing compares to being immersed in the country itself.

As the musical entertainment section ends, you begin pulling ingredients out of the fridge and cupboard. "What do you think sounds good, Mochi? How about teokbokki?" The black cat perches her paws on your right leg, purring pleasantly. "I agree, sounds great after a long day."

You toss a bag of rice cakes onto the counter as the news changes to sports. Even as you prepare the sauce for the meal, you actively listen to the voices in the background.

"Unfortunately, RM Nam's ice skating season has been cut short due to an unforeseen injury he sustained during practice this summer. At the time, the damage to his shoulder seemed unnoticed by the athlete and his coach. However, as we saw earlier this October at the Grant Prix Series: Skate America, Mr. Nam's mishap on the ice turned out to be far more damaging than originally thought. Thus, the position representing South Korea at the next in the series, Skate Canada, was shifted to his rival, Kim Seokjin, and RM Nam returned home to Seoul to recover."

You can't but help a glance up at the screen. The skater in question has his back turned to the cameras as he heads into the airport. Behind his sunglasses, mask, and beanie, he offers a polite smile and wave to the reporters. Moments later, his coach guides him into the building, out of sight.

"That doesn't sound fun," you mutter to yourself as the report moves onto politics.

After you finish cooking, you plate yourself a portion and move into the living room. Besides the tiny tan sofa and the television propped up on a box, most of the room is bare. There are a handful of boxes strewn across the apartment of the few things you either had shipped from the States or that you bought in your six months since then, but for the most part, you've been putting off all of it. Most of your time is spent at work or at school; you haven't had the time, energy, or motivation to do any of it. Even at Christmas, despite Lisa gifting you with your very own tiny tree and twinkle lights to spread across the home, you've yet to unpack any of it. The tree remains in the slender box beside the TV, and you doubt it will go up this year at all.

Heaving a sigh at the thought, you turn the channel to VIKI put on your favorite drama. This particular one is a reincarnation plot with two male leads played by Korea's golden boys: Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung. Paired with the bowl of teokkboki in your lap and the kitten curled to your side, it's enough to drag you thoughts out of homesickness and back to the present.

This might just have to be the Christmas you forget and hope that the next year is a kinder one.

A lot changed in your life this year. In some ways, the changes were good. In others, not so much. Most of the turbulent times were in the heat of the summer, but things began slowing down once you moved to South Korea in September. You were now away from toxic family members, away from a life you never wanted, and looking ahead to an uncertain but certainly hopeful future.

In late October, the seasons began changing for the better — and not just in the physical sense of the falling leaves and cooler breeze. Lisa was right about your favorite customer; it truly was little Yeongu. However, there was another that you looked forward to seeing, just as much as the elementary school boy.

This person was older, around your age, with a deeply dimpled smile that made your stomach flutter. Eyes as slender as his body proportions, you'd be lying if you said he wasn't an attractive man. Hair the color of the snowflakes he walked through, eyes the color of the beverage he'd always order, skin the color of warmth in a cozy fireplace. Even his voice was warm and deep; at every conversation, while you are completely fluent in Korean, you find yourself just wanting to listen to the soft timbre.

Over time, this man — whose name you'd quickly learn was Kim Namjoon — became a regular at your little coffee shop. He'd come in at the oddest hours, either super early or super late. Hours you often worked alone, when there were fewer customers. Every time, he'd strike up a conversation as you took his order and crafted his beverage of choice (a heavy coffee brewed dark and bitter, with just a splash of cream and almond whip.) He was sweet, and eventually you opened up. He'd hang around the counter long after the transaction was completed, sometimes until another customer stole your attention away. It didn't take long for you to realize that he was far more than merely a pretty face.

In those weeks leading up to December, you found yourself smiling a bit more. Joking a bit more. Shoulders lightening a bit more. You looked forward to the increasingly insistent days where he'd waltz in — sometimes covered in raindrops, sometimes in crisp leaves, sometimes in snowflakes — always a crystal blue umbrella under his arm and a charcoal grey scarf around his neck.

It's the same person standing at the entrance now, the man currently shaking the rain from his umbrella and platinum locks. Lisa gives you a smirk as she nods her head towards the register and steps away from the counter, as if silently saying, "You're up, m'lady. Holler if you need me; I'll be doing an order in the back."

You brush your hair back into proper place, display a genuine smile, and take your stance behind the register. When Namjoon's eyes meet yours, his smile deepens and creates dimples on either side of his mouth.

After the customer in front of him pays and leaves with his order in hand, you greet him with a simple, "You haven't been in, in over a week. Finally trying to break your caffeine addiction?"

Namjoon gives a deep laugh and shakes his head. "Not in the slightest. I like being able to function as an adult in society, thank you very much." He pulls out several won from his wallet. "I'll have..."

"The usual?"

He cocks an eyebrow. "You remember?"

"Of course," you grin, and type his drink of choice into the register. Taking his money, you add, "How could I forget your order after the hilarious reaction when I suggested a mint mocha?"

The boy thinks back to the first day he walked into the café, and recalls that conversation with a groan. "Oh god, was I that bad?"

Handing him his change, you tap your chin and reply, "Well, maybe a bit. I'd never seen someone so horrified at the idea of mint chocolate."

Namjoon rubs the back of his neck with an awkward smile. "Sorry about that. Pretty terrible at hiding my disdain for that flavor combo."

"No worries! Made me laugh."

Seeing that there are no other customers behind him, you turn to the brewing station and usher Namjoon to take a seat on the bar stool across the counter. It's a position you've taken several times before. When the customers are low, as they are at this hour of evening, the platinum-haired man tends to linger and converse far after his drink is finished.

"What brings you in today? Just wanted a pick-me-up or?"

Namjoon heaves a sigh. He watches you closely but casually, silently admiring the skillful way you begin to brew the dark beverage. "I've had a lot on my mind lately, and coming here always helps me de-stress."

"Coffee helps you relax?" You can't help but chuckle at the sentiment.

"And the company."

Heat rushes to your face, and when you glance up to meet his gaze, the warmth only increases. "You're smooth, Kim Namjoon. Very smooth."

Brown eyes widen, and he bows his head so that his bangs cover his eyes. "That's not what I meant at all!"

"Calm down, you're fine. Wanna talk about what's on your mind, though?"

In all your conversations, the two of you have only ever talked on the shallow surface of various topics. You don't know much about Namjoon, and he doesn't know much about you — despite having shared extremely vague information about your year, your jobs, and your education. You feel very open with him, but most of the time, those conversations can't be had in a fifteen minute discussion at a café.

"It's a long, complicated story. I'm not sure you'd wanna hear it." He raises his hands defensively as he realizes how his words might be construed. "Not that you wouldn't understand! I just wouldn't want to be a downer."

You select the cold brew setting on the machine and let the device begin to whir to life. "Well, I've got at least the time it takes to make your drink. I'm all ears."

Namjoon shakes his head as he settles his elbows on the counter. "You're persistent."

"Honey, I've been called far worse."

Seeing your eagerness, your companion heaves a sigh and shifts his gaze from you to the window at his right. As be begins to speak, his demeanor falls a bit. He's not as happy-go-lucky; there's an err of anxiety about him that you can't quite nail down. "I've been thinking about a change in career recently. Things haven't been unfolding this year like I wanted...and I'm starting to think I'm not meant to do what I'm doing now. Maybe I need to retire — from this industry, I mean, and move on to another."

Even with that small confession, you can't help but mirror his emotions. "I hear you. I've felt similar feelings this year."

His gaze shifts back to yours, and he tilts his head in surprise. "Really? How so?"

"I told you I moved to Seoul in September, right?" Namjoon nods. "That's because I wanted a...a fresh start. I enrolled in Yonsei University, got a job here, and just...moved."

"That's pretty brave, and that's really awesome you're at Yonsei. They're a fantastic school."

"Thanks," you grin whilst popping the canister of cold brew out from under the brewing machine. "I needed to get away from certain people in my life that weren't letting me move forward, so moving was the best choice." You pour the dark beverage into a small mixer and pull out the vanilla creamer. "Sure you don't want mint this time? Last chance."

Namjoon cocks an eyebrow as a silent challenge; the expression makes you giggle to yourself as you pour the very non-mint add-ins. "Hilarious."

"Hey! Just offering." After giving the mixture a whisk, your smile falters.

Nothing gets by the observant person across the counter. "I feel like your story has a 'but' after what you ended with."

"You're good," you reply, gesturing to him with the handheld whisk. "I'm not talking too much, am I?"

Namjoon shakes his head adamantly and flourishes with his hand for you to continue. "I mean, we're practically friends now. Please, go on."

Reassured by both his calming nature and genuine interest, you continue talking. "But after getting here...let's just say it's hard to make friends and get out there in a country where you look so different, where your language isn't native, and where you know literally no one. So...ah, this year's been a pretty lonely one, and I know I still made the right choice, but now that the holidays are here..." You trail off and offer a small smile. "All that to say, I know what it's like to second-guess yourself and not have things go the way you thought."

"Seems we have a lot in common," he chuckles, leaning his chin on his hand.

The comment causes the mood to lighten, and you let a laugh slip out. "Yeah, seems so."

Before the conversation can continue, the front door opens. Yeongu enters, a couple of other customers behind him. As if on cue, Lisa enters from the back room and greets the adults with a smile and a swift, "Hi, welcome! What can I get you this evening?"

As the child approaches the adjacent counter where you stand, his grin widens. You perch your elbows on the counter and lean over. "How's my favorite customer?"

"I'm finally free from school, Ahjumma!" Yeongu cheers loudly.

"Congrats! I'm sure you're relieved." He nods affirmatively. "t's freezing outside. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, I promise. But can I get a mint hot choco?" He holds up a crumpled bill with a toothy grin.

"Of course, you can. Extra mint, just like I promised." You nod towards the seat closest to the window. "Sit in your usual spot, okay? After I get this nice man his coffee, I'll get your hot chocolate."

As Namjoon turns to look at the child, Yeongu's eyes widen in surprise. "Namjoon-hyung! I didn't know you were here."

Much to your shock, Namjoon reciprocates the affection and hops down from his chair to bend down to Yeongu's level. "Yeon-ie!" He teases the boy by ruffling up his hair, which Yeongu scowls at him for.

"Um... You two know each other?"

"Yep!" Yeongu grins. "He's my cousin, the one I told you about yesterday."

"Oooh, that makes sense. Didn't realize my two favorite customers were related."

Yeongu laughs at the comment and hops into the chair beside Namjoon. "But I'm your favorite customer, right?"

"Of course," you tease, flashing him a playful wink.

"Oh! I almost forgot. Ahjumma, can I please have mine in a to-go cup? Mom told me to come right home so we can finish packing for our trip."

"Of course, give me just a second to get you a lid." You turn to your first customer with an apologetic smile. "Namjoon, I'm almost done with yours. Just give me a moment."

"Actually, do you mind putting mine in a to-go cup as well?" He jerks his thumb towards Yeongu. "I should probably walk him home. He lives just around the corner from me. I'd feel better if I did."

"Oh, sure, I can do that."

"Would you walk with us, Ahjumma? Pleeeease?"

Your gaze moves to Namjoon. "Do you mind?"

The elder cousin hops up from his chair, shaking his head adamantly. "Not at all! Can you?"

"Sure, I'm about at the end of my shift anyway! Let me grab my coat. I'll come with." You turn quickly to Lisa, murmuring, "Can you watch—?"

She cuts you off with a wave of her hand. "—Go! I can close up for the night. But if you don't come back with a date planned, the invitation to spend New Years with Jungkookie and me is rescinded."

With a playful eye-roll, you peck her on the cheek and run to the back for your coat. Once you return, you find Namjoon scuffling Yeongu's dark locks with a dimpled smile. Looking back up as you return, the expression doesn't falter.

"Ready?"

You nod and follow behind through the exit, trying to ignore the wink and dual thumbs-ups Lisa flashes you as you pass.

Once on the street, Yeongu walks ahead of you and Namjoon. The first few minutes are silent between you two. From ahead, you can hear the small child talking to himself, or perhaps his hot chocolate, and then occasionally to the adults.

As you cross the busy street, Namjoon clears his throat. "So...you have any plans for Christmas?"

You scoff under your breath and shake your head. "Why does this topic keep coming up?"

"Hope I didn't offend," he laughs. "Yeongu said something about a café girl not having plans last night. I figured it was you."

"Trust me, you're good. But yeaaah. Kinda new to Korea. I spent the fall settling in and trying to start over. Between work and school, didn't expect much. Holidays sneaked up on me, I guess."

There's a pause as the trio rounds the corner. Yeongu finishes his hot cocoa along the way and hands the empty cup to Namjoon. The elder doesn't even hesitate to take it, and the boy rushes ahead to what you assume is his home. Over his shoulder, he shouts, "Thank you for the choco, Ahjumma!"

You grin widely and wave. "You're welcome!"

Yeongu turns to Namjoon, sticks out his tongue in a playful manner, then disappears into his house.

"Aaand that's the thanks I get." Namjoon rolls his eyes and turns his body towards you, giving you his full attention as the sun sets behind Seoul Tower. "I have a crazy idea."

"Oh, really?" You cross your arms over your chest and cock an eyebrow. "Those are my favorite kind of ideas."

"Cheesy," he grins. "Well...I don't have any plans either. Maybe we spend it together?"

"No plans, huh? Do I look that pitiful?"

"No! No, it's not that at all, god." Namjoon's smirk falls from his face as a horrified expression drowns out any humor. "Sorry if that's how it came off. I just—You seem really nice, and it's been a while since either of us just enjoyed someone else's company. No strings. No pressure."

Tugging your lower lip between your teeth, you shuffle in your step. "I don't know, Namjoon..."

"Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I hate to see anyone's shoulders so heavy in December. How about this — give me three days to prove the magic isn't lost."

"Three days? That's it?"

"That's it."

"Okay then, Mr. Kim." You offer a hand in his direction. "Three days."

Namjoon's eyes lock with yours, as does his hand. "It's a deal."

The following weekend you wake to a phone call coming in from your recently-added number. Rolling out from under the covers to grab the device from the nightstand, you answer with voice still groggy with sleep. "Hello?"

"Are you still sleeping?" the caller laughs in a deep timbre.

"Shuddup." Peaking an eye open, the time on the screen reads just after eleven a.m. "It's not that late."

"Really?"

"Did you call me just to make fun of my lack of healthy sleep schedule, or did you have a point?"

"Ouch!” Namjoon exclaims playfully. “I actually did call, and it's actually perfect because I don't need you ready to go until around three this afternoon. So you can totally just go back to sleep."

You curl back under your heated blanket and revel in the warmth it provides. Beside you, Mochi curls closer, nearly sitting on your head. "Mmm sounds perfect. Wait—what?"

"You heard me." There's a hint of teasing in Namjoon's words. "It's Day 1. Be ready for an outdoor adventure by three. I'll pick you up then, okay sleepyhead?"

The butterflies rumble in your stomach at the nickname, and you clear your throat before replying. "Yep, got it. Three p.m. Outdoor adventure. Can't you tell me what it is or where we're going?"

"And ruin the surprise? No way. Just trust me, Jagi."

A squeak slips out, and you throw your hand over your mouth to hide it. "Okay, see you there—I mean then!"

You can almost hear Namjoon shaking his head as he says his goodbyes and ends the call. Despite still being sleepy and warm and cozy in your nest, you lie wide awake in bed for the next half-hour, replaying his voice over and over in your head like a well-loved record.

The day flies by, and eventually it's approaching three. You've dressed to impress while still trying to keep it casual. Despite this being a date, it's still casual. You like Namjoon a lot, and you hope he likes you as well. However, outside of conversations at the café, you haven't spent a lot of time together yet. This is as good a second-first impression as any, and you intend to make the most of it.

Grabbing your winter coat and scarf, you scurry down the stairs and spot Namjoon lingering by the entrance with two cups in his hands. He's dressed in jeans and a sweater with a dark grey jacket over top, his usual scarf looped twice around his neck. A beanie covers his head, but bits of his platinum hair still stick out in places. Slung across his shoulder is a brown leather backpack. He always looks nice, that much you know, but the fact that today he looks nice for you makes you sickly happy.

He flashes a smile as you bound out the door. "You look rested," he teases, then offers you one of the cups.

Taking it with a nose scrunch, you look down at the order on the side, seeing that it's your usual order. "How did you know!"

He shrugs. "I have my ways."

"Was it Lisa?"

"Maybe..." He straightens up and nods his chin towards the nearby station. "Follow me for our first adventure!"

After boarding the train to Itaewon, you can't help but wonder where he might be taking you. Your mind goes through all of the things to do in Itaewon, but the list is lengthy. From his excited and proud expression, you know Namjoon has been looking forward to this all day, just as you have.

After exiting fifteen minutes down the line, Namjoon reaches for your free hand. "May I...?"

Your fingers close the distance, glove-covered palm clasping his. "Lead the way."

Namjoon grins, then tugs on your hand as you exit the station. Once outside in the frigid air, you see your breath come out in puffs of fog. You tighten your scarf around your neck and allow your companion to usher you down the sidewalk, towards a clearing in the colorful buildings of Itaewon-do.

Another block or so, and you see the direction in which he's heading. A large sign along the way reads, "Grant Hyatt Seoul Ice Rink" in bold Hangul. Your eyes widen as the realization hits you, and the excitement inside you grows. "How did you know I've wanted to go ice skating!"

Namjoon shuffles up to the ticket counter, replying over his shoulder, "Um...lucky guess?"

As he purchases your tickets, you take a moment to absorb your surroundings.  The trees are glowing from the lights covering every branch and trunk. They surround the rink and give a glow from within that is so much softer and more intimate than the harsh lighting of the city. The Hyatt Hotel stands as a black silhouette against the horizon. In the opposite direction, you can see N. Seoul Tower already lit up as the afternoon lighting shifts to evening. Projectors shine shapes of glittering snowflakes across the ice, giving another layer of ambient lighting to the rink.

"I haven't been since I was a kid," you add, staring at the exterior of the open-air rink with awe. Namjoon hands you the ticket, which you use for entrance and skates before shoving it into your jacket pocket. "Have you ever been before?"

"Yeah, a...few times. Hey, what size shoe are you?" When you tell him, Namjoon grabs a pair of skates from the shelf beside the ticket booth and gestures for you to sit on the bench across from it. "It can be tricky to lace your skates properly," he commentates as he kneels down in front of you and begins to untie your boots. "It's really something you have to adjust yourself, so let me know when I'm close?"

Not having any words to respond at his sudden closeness, you nod the affirmative and watch in silence as he puts one boot to the side, slips the skate on with ease, and begins to adjust the laces like a professional. After repeating the movements with your other skate, he taps your knee and looks up at you.

"Too loose? You want them to be as tight as you can handle to keep your ankles steady."

Moving your feet, you shake your head from side to side. "A bit more. I'd hate to have Day 1 turn into a trip to the E.R."

"Definitely, nothing says ‘Christmas magic’ like an emergency room visit," he laughs, adjusting your laces as you requested. "How's that?"

"Much better, thank you."

After lacing up your skates as tight as you can handle, Namjoon stands and offers you an arm. He helps you waddle over to the entrance, gently sliding you onto the ice despite your shaky knees and flailing arms. You soon realize that it might be best to hold tight to the barrier and stick only to the periphery.

He doesn't follow you on at first. When you turn and look back for him, he waves you on. "You go ahead. I need to grab my skates first."

"Mmm fine, but if I break my neck trying to catch your ass, you're paying for ramen after. Got it?"

Namjoon gives you two thumbs ups as he lets you go onto the ice. "Loud and clear."

Eventually, you begin tugging yourself along, trying but failing to keep up with the traffic of more experienced skaters. Even compared to those half your age, or even less, you're the child on this rink.

About half-way around the rink, you spot Namjoon making his way towards the entrance. Waving your hand, your smile widens when he sees you. He waves back, nearly bumps into the person ahead of him at the gate, and you murmur to yourself, "This should be good."

Namjoon hits the ice. He's not like the barreling disaster you are, but like a graceful swan. It catches you off-guard; if anything, you expected him to fall flat on his face or tumble over a child on his way over to you on the opposite side. He needs no assistance from the railing, nor does he struggle to cross the center and come to a full stop in front of you. His skates make a graceful scraping sound, and his stance is one of a professional. Even his skates are different than yours; they're custom, and you realize that must've been what he was carrying in his backpack.

You assume the awestruck look on your face is the reason for his smirk and laughter. He does a spin for dramatic affect as he closes the distance between you. "Surprised?"

"For starters! How the hell are you so graceful? You're literally twirling around on one foot on a frictionless surface, and I can barely make a left turn!"

The platinum blond gives you a look like you're still missing the point, then extends his hand. "C'mon, I can help you more than the railing can."

"Promise not to sue me if I break your face by crashing into you?"

"Promise, now grab my hand and skate!"

Your hands in his, you take the leap of faith and separate from the barrier around the oblong rink. Namjoon slowly skates backwards, carrying you the whole way. Your eyes remain glued to your trembling feet, careful not to have the blades deviate too far out to one side or the other.

"Look at you!" he cheers, ever the positive one. "A whole two minutes on your feet."

"Shut up."

You won't deny that your progress surprises even you. Despite having to hold both his hands for the first ten minutes, then eventually one as you skate side-by-side for the following half-hour, you're more adept at skating than you thought you would be.

"You think you can try on your own for a lap?" he inquires.

Giving a hesitant nod, you let go of Namjoon's hand, saying, "Don't leave my side, okay?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Taking a deep breath in, you push one skate out in front of the other and move yourself forward. The other follows after, and you get about twenty feet before you stumble and nearly fall face-first. Luckily, Namjoon keeps his promise and wraps his arms around your waist before you crash.

"Good try!" he exclaims, keeping his arms around your middle even after you regain your balance. "You got pretty far, actually."

You give an awkward chuckle and lay your nervous hands over his at your hip. "Maybe I'm not quite ready for a free-skate yet."

"No worries." He lets his arms drop and retakes your hand to steady you. The dimples appear next to his smile as he adjusts your beanie on your head, which had nearly fallen off in your almost-fall. "But I gotta say, you didn't have to fall for me on Day 1."

"So smooth!" You roll your eyes and give his shoulder a playful shove, only to gasp and reach back for him when he naturally skates backwards at the push. "Nevermind, I take it back. Please don't leave me in the middle of the rink."

Namjoon lets out a loud laugh, nearly doubling over as you cling to him. "You're so cute."

As you skate together, you keep getting the feeling that Namjoon has spent far more time on the ice than you previously assumed. After you get the hang of it yourself and are able to wobble along beside him without a constant hand to hold, he smiles a proud, wide smile.

"See? I knew you could do it!"

You raise your eyebrows at him. "Still nowhere near close to you."

"That's what a lot of people say," he brushes it off.

"Way to brag there, Joon," you snort, then immediately freeze in place so suddenly that you nearly fall over again. "Wait—you don't mind if I call you that, do you?"

Namjoon's smile shows his dimples, and they deepen with his reply. "Not a bit." The song changes, playing the symphonic piece "Noel on Ice." Namjoon's face lights up, and he turns back to you with a wink. "Watch me?"

Nodding affirmatively, you release his hand and let him skate towards the center of the rink. His gaze remains on you as he spins to a stop in the middle, then turns his gaze downwards. Arms still at his sides, and his shoulders straighten. You await with bated breath for the next note.

The melody lifts, and Namjoon's arms follow suit. Piano notes drip across the chilled air, and the violin prompts an extension of his hands upwards. Then he moves, gracefully flowing from one movement to the next, as if this has been an ice dance built into his very being. The harp and cello urge him to move faster, spinning like a dancer across their stage.

Namjoon spins into the air, fully coming off the ice. Your hands fly up to cover your mouth out of fear, but he lands it with ease, shifting into his next series of steps like a professional. Flawless and practiced, he's caught the attention of everyone at the rink. As you look around, you see everyone else focused intently on the skater. Some even have their phones out to record. Not just one or two people, either; you see at least a half dozen with their cameras trained on Namjoon.

That in particular has you perplexed. Brows pulling together, you shift your eyes back to Namjoon. The piece is nearing its close, and he's moved back to the center of the ice. Twirling in place, he's moving like a spinning top. Always in a single place, so fast you can barely see, gracefully shaving ice under him so that snowflakes fall around him. He lowers, nearly sitting as he continues to twirl on one foot. The music grows to its crescendo. Slowly, he rises up and extends his hands towards the sky.

And then it hits you.

There's a reason why his face, his voice, and his presence is so familiar to you. You couldn't put your finger on it until just now, but the way he moves on the ice like he's the only one in the room — like it's a second home — brings you back to one of the first days you had in Seoul. That first day, at the Incheon Airport, the man you saw being bombarded with press and fans. Then again on the screens in the lobby of the immigration center. And again a few nights ago on the news.

RM Nam. South Korea's pride and joy, their greatest skater, the man bound for the Winter Olympics until a training injury earlier in the year put him out for the season. You're not into sports, but even you knew him by name and the tragedy that had occurred.

That legendary skater was the one in front of you now. He hadn't mentioned it, and you didn't suspect a thing until today. While definitely a shock, you can't help but be in awe of him even more. He isn't just good on the ice — he's like nothing you've ever seen.

As the music comes to a close, Namjoon skates to a halt. His spin finishes, and he ends with a ending pose bow. Clearly out of breath and shoulders heaving, his gaze shifts to you once again. Your smile widens, and you throw your hands up as you cheer. The others around you begin to clap, but you're by far the most enthusiastic one there.

Suddenly, Namjoon's persona returns to that of a shy and humble one. He bows again in the directions of the viewers, then scurries out from the center and back to you. Eventually, those around you begin to skate once more, ignoring the fact that one of the biggest sports icons in all of Korea is among them.

Namjoon runs a hand over his bleached hair, his smile sweet and his eyes a little nervous as he approaches. You shake your head in awe, letting a surprised laugh slip out.

"Okay, I see exactly what you're doing now. You suggested ice skating because you're Olympic-level! That's totally cheating, by the way."

Namjoon skids to a stop in front of you, as graceful as his takeoff. Without thinking, you reach your hand for his, which he gladly takes. "Figured it out finally, did you?"

"Call me stupid, but I honestly didn't see it until just now." You shove his shoulder with your free hand, only encouraging his teasing reaction. "RM: Guessing that's a stage name?"

He adjusts the beanie over his hair and gives an affirmative gesture. "Yeah, mainly to protect my privacy. Skating world can get pretty intense, sometimes."

You move your chin towards his shoulder, recalling that's where the injury occurred over the summer. "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, totally okay. I go to PT a couple times a week. Mostly healed up, just can't compete for another few months. My coach has made me swear off skating until the New Year, but I figured it was worth throwing a little extra into trying to impress a pretty girl." He tilts his head to the side, rubbing the back of his neck with a gloved hand. "Did it work?"

Instead of responding verbally, you curl your finger towards you, a mischievous smile on your face. Namjoon lowers his head and skates closer to you. When he's within arm's reach, you lean up and press a kiss to his cheek. A giggle slips out as his eyes widen and his cheeks flush.

"So... Is that a yes?"

"Yes!" you exclaim, throwing your arms in the air and nearly falling over for the hundredth time that night.

Namjoon returns the chaste gesture to your temple as he helps you recover your balance. "Skate with me some more then?" he murmurs, adjusting your scarf around your neck with gentle fingers.

Your face hot and your stomach fluttery, you nod your response and loop your arm around his. "Only if you show me how to do that fancy twirl there at the end."

The idea has Namjoon laughing loudly. "That's my variation on the basic Scratch Spin, which took me about three months to nail perfectly in a routine."

"Then you'd better prepare to be here 'til February!"

After skating for hours, until both of you are exhausted and ready for food, Namjoon takes you to a nearby ramen shop that's close to the train station. It's a hole-in-the-wall, with less than five tables, but with ramen you're able to find a park bench and settle down there with your backs to the city lights and your eyes on the stars overhead. You each mostly in silence, just enjoying each other's company and the delicious food. You make sure to tell your companion how great the choice was, and you insist on coming back again soon.

After wrapping up the meal and seeing the late hour on your phone, Namjoon suggests you both start heading home. "Hate to have to take a bus at this hour instead of the last train," he snickers.

Fully in agreement, you let him take your hand again as the pair of you begin to walk back home. First on the train, then on the sidewalk the short distance to your apartment building.

As you turn the corner onto your short street, your apartment in sight, you rest your head against Namjoon's shoulder and sigh happily. "Thank you for today. It was just...magical."

"Christmas magic?"

You nod against his jacket, wistful and content. "Definitely."

Stopping outside your apartment, you turn towards him, not letting go of his hand. Namjoon gives you a content smile as he looks at you, one where his eyes glisten at his coming words. "Then I have a chance."

"At what?"

He reaches yet again for your scarf, moving it from around your lower face so he can cradle it in his hands. "Restoring your hope in the holidays, and your hope in yourself and your choices."

"Ooof, that's getting ahead of it, I think." You bite the inside of your cheek as a small tug of anxiety and sense of being lost pulls at the back of your mind.

But Namjoon is relentless in his pursuit, and for that you're grateful. "That's why I have two more days planned."

"Already?" you laugh.

"You bet!" he exclaims. "In fact, I'll pick you up at nine on Saturday, but don't wear a dress or skirt. Are you free then?"

"For you, absolutely."

His teeth show through his grin, and he leans forward to press a kiss between your eyebrows. The gesture is gentle and sweet, made even more so by the warmth of his hands on your cheeks through his gloves. Nevertheless, it leaves you breathless.

After a moment of silence, he pulls away and lowers his grasp, but you crave the contact as soon as he relinquishes it. He nods towards your apartment, as if saying, "I'm not leaving until you're home safe."

You take the hint and give a tiny wave as you enter your building. "Have a great night, Joonie," you whisper through the cracked door. "And thanks again."

Namjoon waves back. "Goodnight, [Y/n]. Sleep well."

Saturday can't come quickly enough. You find yourself smiling more often, a joyful feeling in your heart as you go about your work shift and college classes. Even the smallest and insignificant things feel a little easier. The weather wasn't just cold anymore; it was full of beauty and hope and Christmas spirit.

Maybe Namjoon was right. Maybe he was helping you turn a corner.

Right before you're ready to head downstairs to meet Namjoon at the entrance, your phone begins to buzz. Lit up on the screen is an international number, but the area code is that of your old home. The butterflies of excitement die almost instantly, shriveling up into tiny balls of anxiety in your stomach.

Even though you ignore the call, you can't resist listening to the voicemail left behind. Putting your phone on speaker, you're shocked to hear your mother's voice wishing you a Merry Christmas, saying that she and the family miss you, and that they wished you would visit so you could clear up everything that went wrong over the summer. Your throat constricts at the sickly sweet tone; her voice always did drip in honey when she wanted something, she she was trying to manipulate her child. Between her conniving control and your father's lack of respect for privacy and personal boundaries, you remember all over again why you left.

You jump as your apartment bell rings, and the small screen by the door shows Namjoon at the entrance. "[Y/n], are you up there? I texted twice...not sure if you got those."

Looking down at your screen, you see that he's right. You have two unread texts from the last five minutes that you missed due to the unexpected caller. Shaking yourself out of it, you shoot him a quick response, close everything out, and head for the ground level.

"There you are!" Namjoon greets with a grin that almost makes you forget your mother's call.

Almost.

Forcing a smile and reply, "Sorry, I don't know why I didn't see your texts."

"No worries." He waves his hand as if to say it's nothing to worry about. "Are you okay? You seem bothered about something."

You glance up at him, unable to deny he looks slightly concerned. You mirror his laissez-faire attitude and brush it off. "Totally good. Heading to the station?"

"Not this time." Namjoon gestures towards the bike parked by the corner of the building. "You ready to go?"

"Both of us, on that? Are you sure that's safe?"

"Oh yeah! Trust me." He kicks the stand down and mounts the bike, patting the extended seat behind him. "I once rode up Namsan Mountain with Seokjin on the back of this thing, and let me tell you, he's a hell of a lot bigger than you."

Knowing he's probably right, you settle yourself on the seat behind him and wrap your arms tightly around his middle. It's probably not the most well-balanced thing in the world, but you trust Namjoon more than you buy into your fear of falling. "No skirts or dresses, huh?"

"Now you get it," he laughs, pulling out onto the bike lane on the street headed into towards the older side of the city. "Unless you'd like a wardrobe malfunction."

He picks up speed and gets to an easy pace down the street. It's fast enough to get to your location speedily but slow enough that you're able to stare at the beautiful buildings and wondrous landscape around you. Even the people have an aura of happiness caused by Christmas. Had it always been this stunning? Or had you been blind to it until just now?

"Seokjin, as in Kim Seokjin, your rival?"

"So you do watch the news," he sighs. "They aren’t portraying us as friends these days, are they?"

You shake your head and rest your chin on his shoulder. "Not really. I didn't know you were friends."

Namjoon shrugs his shoulders slightly, his voice monotone. "Yeah, well, we've known each other since we were seven, got into skating together around that time, and have been friends ever since. While I wish I didn't have to sit this one out, I couldn't be happier to have him representing South Korea at the Worlds — sorry, that's what we call the World Figure Skating Championships."

"Yeah, they're kind of painting you as opposites."

"That's just what the news does, I guess. Gossip and tabloids and fan-wars. I fell on the ice and hit my shoulder pretty hard; it had nothing to do with Seokjin. He and I talked before I left, too. We're on good terms. Most of us from South Korea are friends, actually. We only get represented as enemies because it's a competition. But a lot of times we're on the same flights, in the same hotels, in the same training areas, you get the idea."

Namjoon pulls up to a stoplight at a near empty intersection, waiting silently for it to shift colors. "Is that what you meant by change of career?" you inquire.

"You're observant," he chuckles.

You turn to rest your cheek on his back. "For what it's worth, and keep in mind that I don't know the first thing about figure skating or your injury or anything like that, but as someone on the outside looking in, you're still so talented. Last week, when you were skating alone, I couldn't tell at all you were injured, and you looked like you were really enjoying it. I don't know if that means anything to you coming from a novice, but if you're still in love with skating and want to get back out there, I think you should go for it. You're still spectacular to watch, Joonie."

There's a beat of silence, but then Namjoon glances over his shoulder and winks at you. "Would you come see me perform live if I did?"

Shrugging your shoulders, you state, "Why not?"

He laughs at your silly expression, then begins to move the bike again as the light finally shifts. "That actually means a lot, [Y/n]. Thank you."

The rest of the ride is quiet, at least until you begin to hear the sounds of a bustling outdoor market. Namjoon turns the final corner, and you're elated with the stone street in an older part of Seoul. Vendors in various booths stretch out in every direction. Some sell food or drink, some sell trinkets or clothing, some even sell vintage books or vinyls or movies. Every nook and cranny has something special to offer. The sights, smells and sounds bring an enormous smile to your face as Namjoon steadies the bike to a stop beside the bicycle rack.

You hop off with his help, nearly bouncing up and down from excitement as he parks and locks his bike on the stand. "This is amazing!" Turning to him, you catch him off-guard with a tight embrace, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck and pulling him down to you.

Namjoon seems amused by your eager reaction, and he pulls you closer to him. "I thought you would like it. There's nothing quite like Christmas than a market."

After letting him go, you press a kiss to his cheek as you lower back down to your level. Namjoon's hands tenderly cradle your face, just like last time, only today he's glancing away from  your eyes and down to your lips. As your heartbeat quickens, you pull him back to you, fingers grasping at his winter jacket.

His voice is deep and soft as he asks, "May I...?"

Your cheeks flush as you nod your approval. Namjoon's dimples deepen as he lowers his face to yours, barely brushing his lips against yours in the gentlest kiss you've ever had. You close the distance, tugging at his jacket so he moves closer. He gives a tiny laugh against your mouth, then follows your guidance to deepen the kiss. One hand slips back to your hair; he gently plays with the strands.

A moment later, and you're sighing as he pulls away, both light-headed and light-hearted. Namjoon smiles down at you, gives you a surprising second peck, then pulls back with a chuckle. "You're a really cute kisser, y'know that?"

You drop your head and hide your face in the front of his coat. "Shut up."

Your companion's laughter echoes in the air around you as he wraps an arm around your shoulders and places his lips briefly on the top of your head. "Are you hungry? I know where we can get the absolute best Tteok-kkochi."

Eventually you lift your head and nod, feeling your stomach rumble at the thought of rice cake skewers. Namjoon moves his arm from around your shoulders, taking your hand instead, and ushers you into the first aisle of the Christmas market.

If it was magical from the outside, it's even more so from within. Somewhere in the distance, you hear holiday music playing. Not the commercial Christmas songs you're used to, but instrumental music that plays perfectly with the sounds of the market crowds. You're awestruck by every single booth you pass, and Namjoon promises to take you back to all of them after you grab a bite to eat.

Which are well worth the walk into the interior of the market. The Tteok-kkochi are cooked to perfection, drowned in a sauce, and by far the best you've ever had. Even after circling back to the booths you missed on the way, you beg Namjoon to lead you back to get another set.

"I've found heaven," you exclaim dramatically, taking the next two from the cook behind the counter and hanging one to your companion. "I'll never have rice cake skewers this good again."

After paying, you spot a section of the market decorated with lights and colorful orbs, much like the decorations you're used to seeing in the West. "Can we go over there next?"

Namjoon spots where you're pointing and eagerly agrees. The pair of you make your way towards the greenery and decor, amazed at the giant Christmas trees decorated to perfection on the periphery of the market.

"That's a massive tree," he gasps, staring upwards. "Are those normal in America?"

"Maybe at a mall or outside a hotel or something," you reply, equally as taken back. "I've never seen one that big in person in a long time."

As you peruse the Christmas section of the market, slipping from booth to booth as the clock strikes Noon, Namjoon asks, "Have you decorated your apartment at all? I know it can be kinda hard to find stuff in Korea like you're used to."

"Not really," you admit in passing. "Between work and school and, y'know, starting a new life in a foreign country, the holidays kinda fell on the back-burner."

Namjoon taps your shoulder, ushering your attention towards the old, American Christmas movies booth a few spots away. You gasp and rush over with renewed excitement, eyes scanning eagerly over the shelves. They have just about everything, from the classics like "It's A Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Carol" to movies you grew up on like "Home Alone" and "Elf." The more you sort through the outdated DVDs, the bigger your smile gets.

"What's your favorite Christmas movie?" Namjoon asks, casually looking through the Christmas vinyls on the booth next to the movies.

"Without a doubt, Ron Howard's 'How The Grinch Stole Christmas.'"

"The one with Jim Carrey?"

"You know it!"

He laughs. "Yeah, my little sister and I watched it a lot when we were kids."

Your head perks up at the mention of a sister. "I didn't know you had siblings, either."

Namjoon nods. "Yeah, she's in college, too. Studying to be a psychologist."

"She sounds amazing."

"Yeah, the family is very proud. I know I am." He pulls out a vinyl for one of Frank Sinatra's Christmas records. "Do you have siblings?"

At the question, your gaze shifts back to the movies, hands preoccupied with finding the perfect one. "I do. A brother and a sister."

"Older?"

"Yeah..."

"What are they like?"

"A lot like my parents," you sigh, moving on to another shelf, turning your back to your companion. "Which is part of the reason I left, so..."

Namjoon senses your anxiety around the topic and rests a hand on your shoulder as he passes by. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize--"

You cut him off with a casual wave of your hand. "It's no worries, really." Spotting the record under his arm, you ask, "Find one you like?"

While he doesn't seem to buy your act, he lets the conversation go and holds up the vinyl for "Tales of Noel on Ice" by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, as performed by the Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra.

"You don't already have that one?" you gawk in surprise.

"I don't actually," he admits bashfully. "The title composition is one of my best free skate performances, and I have a record player at home, so why not?" He gestures to the movies. "Did you find one?"

"Oh, I don't need one! I was just looking. I don't even have a DVD player anymore."

"I do, so pick one out and maybe we can watch it sometime."

You shake your head at him, trying to subdue a chuckle. "A record player and a DVD player? You're so odd."

"But to your benefit," he reminds you with a wink, pulling out a single movie nearest him. It happens to be your favorite with Jim Carrey in all his hilarious glory on the front.

Cocking an eyebrow, you give a tiny round of applause at the luck of pulling that film out of all the others. "Well, you're going to have to invite me over sometime then."

"You can count on it."

For the next couple hours, Namjoon and you make your way through the entire market, hitting all the shops that interest and intrigue you. All the while, you talk about a plethora of things and get to know each other letter. For instance, you find out that he was born in Ilsan, not too far from where you are now, and that he hates seafood just about as much as mint chocolate. You also find out that he looks like his mother, who was the one that got him into skating to begin with. And to no one's surprise, Namjoon is actually very funny. Not only is he smart, athletic, and good looking — which alone would have caught your attention — he's got a wicked sense of humor to top it all off.

Likewise, he learns more about you. You tell him about the city you grew up in, the friends you had in high school, what you studied before you came to Korea. You tell him that along with your studies, you're really invested in writing and try to make time for that as well. It hasn't been so easy since the move, but you're hoping to get back to it in the new year.

As you approach mid-afternoon, and the final leg of the market, your phone begins to buzz. Your screen lights up with the same foreign number as before. Instantly, both your feet and your heart stop. Your shoulders tense up, and you turn to a blissfully unaware Namjoon, saying, "Hey, I gotta take this. You go on ahead."

"Are you sure?" he asks, the person in front of him not the same happy-go-lucky one as before.

You give him a nod of reassurance. "I'll catch up."

Before he can reply, you've turned and moved towards the massive Christmas trees, where there's an opening and the crowds are quieter. Despite what you told him, you don't intend on answering. Whoever is on the other end of that line, be it your mother or father or siblings, you want nothing to do with them. You do, however, want this to be over. You promise yourself to hear the message, block them, and then go run an errand after the holidays to get a new number.

After the call drops, you wait with an anxious feeling building in your stomach. Maybe they didn't leave a message. Maybe it wasn't your family after all. Maybe — 

A soft ping alerts you that you have a new message. Selecting it, you raise your phone to your ear and hear your father this time. He repeats all of what your mother said, only with a layer of frustration and authority that she didn't use. He's borderline cruel as he spouts the same old lies that you're trying to unlearn; it's your fault, it's because of you, you're the cause of it. What it is, depends on the day. This time is has to do with your family not being the same and their world falling to pieces. He uses colorful sentences, well-crafted insults, but all you hear is blame, blame, blame. 

Tears prick your eyes as the voicemail ends, and you realize you should've just deleted the message when you had the chance. A small part of you still hoped they would change, even after all this time, but you see now that it's not possible.

They will never change, and neither will you.

The pit of depression weighs down in your stomach, and loneliness tingles at the back of your throat. Why now? Out of all the times, out of all the days, why are you feeling these things now? You're out having an adventure with a man who you really like, and who you know likes you, in a city you now call home. You're far from any sadness or trauma or family or friends that once brought you down. You've left your past behind. You'd started to feel like there was hope in the holidays and in the future again, like the last year was worth the pain, like everything was starting to turn around.

But suddenly, that snake is wrapped around you again, pulling you back into old habits and old ways of thinking. It's grabbed on tight and is pulling you back into the dark, away from people you care about, away from people who care about you.

Even as you glance up at Namjoon a few stalls away, completely naïve to the painful flickers going through your mind, you feel the need to draw back. Pull away. Stay away. Go back to the security of the known, of the sad, of the lonely. It's warm and comfy, even if it hurts.

Clenching your fists, you try to silence the noise in your brain by shaking your head. The thoughts only grow louder, and the pit in your stomach gets heavier. You haven't felt a depressive episode like this in a long time. You thought they were long gone, especially now, especially with him...

"[Y/n]? Are you okay?"

Looking up, you see Namjoon's approaching you in the clearing. One hand carries the movie and vinyl he purchased for you both, but the other is outstretched towards you. While you don't pull away from his touch, you taste bile in the back of your throat.

"I—I need to go home," you mutter. "I'm starting to feel sick."

"Oh, okay, hold up I'll go get my bike and I'll take you home."

Feeling your breath quicken, you pull your gaze from Namjoon and nod shakily. The walk back to the bike rack is silent, even the crowd outside fades to a low background murmur. Namjoon places the purchased items in his bicycle carrier, then mounts it.

You follow suit, regret beginning to pile up inside you. Running isn't going to help anything, and you know he must be hurt and confused. But to you, the only thing you can do right now to protect yourself is get away from it all and go back to the place where you feel safest.

Tears burn your eyes as you curl up against him. Namjoon pedals speedily to your apartment, making the trip faster than last time. When he pulls up to the curb, you hop off without a word.

"Do you need me to walk you up?" he offers, worry causing his brows to pull together.

You shake your head and put distance between you both. "No, I'm fine. I'll...text you later, okay?"

Without another word, you turn and enter through the front, leaving Namjoon behind on the other side. Trekking up the stairs, through the door, past a mewling Mochi, you curl up on your bed and let yourself finally feel all the sadness piled up inside.

Fifteen minutes later, the waterworks flow when your phone lights up from an incoming text. Knowing exactly who it is, you grab it and text a swift message to Namjoon.

"I'm so sorry I left so suddenly. And that I ruined our day. Not feeling like myself."

"That's okay. I just got home, so I wanted to check up on you. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Do you need anything?"

"No, but thank you."

"Okay... Maybe we can try again some other time? I'd hate to let you down on Day 2."

Unable to reply, the phone turns black and you let it fall onto the duvet.

The days leading up until Christmas Eve were long and full of guilt. You closed the café for the final time the Monday before the holiday, and with no classes to attend, you mainly stayed inside and watched the snow fall outside your tiny apartment window. Mochi kept you company, but even the small fur ball could sense that something had changed for the worse. Even she had gotten used to you being happier this December; you'd taken two steps back while attempting to take a single step forward.

Every morning, you'd spot Namjoon riding his bike past your apartment on his way to the rink where he trains. Every day, he'd stop and gaze up at the building, never sure which frosty window you were behind but melancholy just the same. He'd call and text; the former, you would never answer, but the latter, you did sporadically. Mainly at night when you thought he wouldn't be up.

He usually was.

"Was it something I did?" he asked that Tuesday before Christmas. "Did I move too fast? Did I say something I shouldn't have?"

"No. It's not you."

"Then tell me what it is. I don't want to come across as pushy, but I thought we were getting closer...and then you pull back and hide from me. From everyone. I know I don't know everything about your past or what happened before you came to Seoul, but I promised you three adventures. I still have one to make good on before Christmas."

"Joonie..."

You couldn't bring yourself to write more. The tiny part of your brain that told you that maybe this can work, maybe it's worth trying, maybe things can be different now, it was silenced by the overwhelming majority of your mind. It remembered everything from your past, from the hurt and pain, from the loneliness and fear. Despite your wish to make things right again, it was drowned out by the pure terror of being wronged again.

"Don't shut me out. Please. Let me show you things can be different now. You don't have to go at this alone, [Y/n]. Not anymore."

Pushing down the urge to cry yet again, you move your fingers to type a swift and cold reply. "I'm so sorry I wasted your time, Namjoon. I really am. I thought I was ready, but it's clear that I'm not. Please, spend Christmas with your family. Don't waste any more time on me."

And that was the end of it. You muted his notifications, ignored his calls and texts, and eventually he went silent. The day before Christmas Eve was the first you didn't hear from him, and it was the first day you felt like you'd truly fucked things up for good.

On Christmas Eve, you got an unexpected call from Lisa. Deciding to take a break from staring at an empty Word document with ever-growing frustration, you answered the call, only to be bombarded by Lisa's rambling.

"Oh, thank god! I didn't think you'd answer! I need a huge favor, and I hate to bother on such short notice on Christmas Eve, but this really cannot wait and I'll love you forever if you—!"

"—Okay, okay," you chuckle, shaking your head at her antics.

"I need you to run back to the café and grab something for me. Jungkook is on his way there, but he doesn't have a key."

"What could you possibly have left that's this important?"

"My fucking credit card."

"You've been out of town for two weeks and only just now realized you left your card?"

She heaves a frustrated sigh. "Please, just, do me this favor?"

Rolling your eyes, you pull yourself from the sofa and grab your keys on the counter. "Fine, but you owe me."

"Yes, yes, I know."

You leave the apartment in a hurry, taking the next train to the café. In less than fifteen minutes, you're at the front door. Lisa assures you that Jungkook is on his way, only twenty minutes away. After unlocking it, you make yourself at home in the lobby with a fresh white chocolate mocha. It reminds you of Yeongu, and you smile at the thought.

After about a half hour, your phone begins to buzz in your pocket. Lisa's text has you halting in place.

"I'm sorry to do this. You didn't really give me another choice. I crossed a line, but I think you'll thank me in the end."

Your fingers are swift typing a response. "What did you do?"

"You remember how you gave me a spare key in case you ever got locked out? Or in case you were kept at school too long and needed someone to feed Mochi?" A pause, then she adds, "He came to Busan, [Y/n]. He asked me in person what to do. Do you know how out of the way that was for him? Give him another chance. Please."

"You didn't."

"I did. I'm sorry, but you've talked about how you pull away when you get close to people. It's gone on for almost a week. It's Christmas Eve. You can hate me all you want later, but please. Go home, kiss and make up, then try to salvage Christmas."

A huff of air exits your nostrils as it hits you. Lisa's given the spare to Namjoon. Jungkook was never on his way; this was all a rouse to get you out of your apartment long enough for him to get inside. But to what end?

"He's good for you; I can tell that much already. If you ever were to give someone the benefit of the doubt and place your broken pieces in someone's hands, he's the best you're gonna find."

A pang of truth rocks through you, and while you have still a semblance of willpower, you shoot her a swift text and rush back for the station. "I'm still mad at you, but we'll talk later. I need to get home."

"Go get him!"

The series of stairs up to your apartment never felt so long. Out of breath and winded from rushing home, you find the door unlocked. Pushing through, the place you left less than an hour ago isn't the same as it was before.

The entrance hallway is glittering, multi-colored strands of twinkle lights hanging along the periphery. Fake snow lines the trim, and paper snowflakes are tossed across the furniture. Each one is unique and hand-crafted.

As you venture further, a rainbow array aurora covers your living room and kitchen. There must be at least a dozen lengthy strands of Christmas lights hung across the few items you've unpacked, circled around the sealed boxes, and framing every window and door.  Fake icicles hang on the windowsill, fake greenery lays where curtains should be, and a small Christmas tree stands at your height in the corner.

Jovial, English holiday music plays softly in the background. And humming along to the tune of The First Noel, Namjoon stands with bent-back facing you. He's finishing his final touches on the tree, ensuring that each sparkling orb and shimmering tinsel is perfect. He adjusts the star on the top with a smile to himself, oblivious still to your entrance.

For a moment, you stand in silence and watch him. Your heart is heavy but still beating. If anything, seeing him in the midst of such a sweet and selfless act makes it flutter. Even after cutting his well-planned adventure short, ignoring him for over a week, and telling him to stop speaking to you, he's still here. He came back, and he's trying to prove to you the truth he's been spouting all along.

Eventually, you blink out of your stupor and clear your throat to alert him to your presence. Namjoon turns on his heel, elbow grazing the tree just enough to send it toppling backward. He curses and lunges for it, grabbing it by the star just in time to keep it upright. His characteristic clumsiness prompts a snicker from you, one that you attempt to hide with your hand over your mouth.

Namjoon adjusts the tree and turns back to you with a bashful expression. His lips pull into a side-smile, a single dimple popping out in the process. "H—Hi..."

"Hi," you repeat back to him, letting your hand fall. Your eyes follow suit and drift to your damp, snow-covered shoes.

A beat of silence passes where neither of you knows what to say next. Then the both of you break it at once, words tumbling over each others several times in a row. You laugh to yourself and look back up at him; Namjoon smiles down at you, shaking his head at the awkward reunion.

He gestures silently to you. "Go ahead."

You clear your throat, then say, "I...I wanted to say that I owe you an apology."

He shakes his head firmly, extending his hands in a olive-branch manner. "No, you don't—"

Your feet move back, putting space between you both. "—Can I explain and finish, please? Just...hold your forgiveness until then." At your request, your companion falls silent, letting his hands fall respectfully at his side. Taking a deep breath and holding it for a moment, you re-calibrate your mind and prepare for your admission.

"There's a lot you don't know about me yet," you begin softly. "Ah, shit — That came out super mean. I mean, you know a lot about me. You kinda know why I moved to Korea, the situation with my family back in America, that whole thing. You know where I work and what I'm studying. You know my favorite drink of all time is a white chocolate mocha, and that my favorite customer is barely four feet tall. You know Lisa is my shield at work, and that we've become pretty close in less than a year. You know I'm a homebody and that my favorite thing to do by myself is play with Mochi and watch dramas."

You release a huff of air and raise your eyes to meet his, a wistful smile tugging the corners of your lips. "But there's a lot I haven't told you — or anyone for that matter. I've gone through...a lot of shit this year. When I moved to Seoul, my mental health was in the trash, and my self worth was in shambles. I'd just been shoved from everything I'd ever known into a foreign place."

When you pause for a moment, Namjoon's small and steady voice pipes up with a single inquiry. "I thought you left willingly?"

"I did," you state. "I've wanted to move to South Korea for a long, long time. Since I can remember. But I never thought I'd lose everything before then." Tears prick your eyes, and you lift your sleeve to wipe your nose. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Namjoon gestures towards the small sofa, and you follow his lead. You perch on a single cushion, legs folded underneath you. He takes the adjacent one, far enough to for personal space but still close enough to rest a hand on your knee. This time, you don't push him away as you catch your breath. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, I do, but maybe not now." You take another breath in and focus your thoughts. "I didn't mean to start all that with the intention of being the victim and making you feel bad for me. I...I told you that because I wanted you to know that there are reasons why I push people away. I've been on a journey to heal that trauma all year, but it doesn't happen overnight. But even with that, I never should have just left like that. I never should have ignored your calls and texts. I shouldn't have made you feel like you were the bad guy, or that any of this was your fault, or that you did anything wrong. You were—"

You struggle to find a word that fits what you're truly feeling, one that doesn't feel overwhelming, but the only one that comes to mind is... "You are perfect, Joonie. You're sweet and kind. You treat me like a normal person that's worth something, and I think part of me was scared of that. Especially around the holidays, I feel very fragile, and I run from things I think might hurt me."

"I would never, ever hurt you." Namjoon flashes a soft and empathetic smile. "Can I ask why you got spooked so suddenly? You looked off when I picked you up, and I know you said it was nothing, but..."

You pull your phone from your pocket and play the message for him, the one from your mother. And when he remains silent, you play the second from your father. While he listens, you watch him. The hand on your knee turns to a fist, and his jaw clenches. Part of you is relieved that someone else is reacting negatively to the messages, yet another signal to you that your choice is validated.

"I got the first that morning, but the second right before I left," you murmur. "I didn't respond, and I've blocked the numbers, but I've felt unstable since then. That's why I shut down, and why I left."

He nods, then turns off the phone. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. That's emotional abuse and manipulation. No one should have to go through that."

"I know, but I was wrong. I'm sorry for doing that and for hurting you. It was wrong, and I don't deserve you coming back again and again...even if you concocted this up with Lisa."

At your light-hearted comment, he chuckles and bites the inside of his cheek. The fist on your knee loosens back, his fingers tapping gently against your skin. "She told you, did she?"

"Yep," you chirp. "I'll thank her later."

After a moment, Namjoon's eyes flicker back up to yours. For a moment, he almost looks worried. "Are you mad?"

"Meh." For a moment, you're able to hold your composure long enough for your companion's eyes to widen in horror. "I'm just kidding," you relent, and Namjoon looks visibly relieved. "How could I be mad? Look at all this!" You gesture to the magical space around you. "It looks like a wonderland in here."

A crimson hue fills his face, and he's all of a sudden very shy about the accomplishment. "I wanted you to feel like you had a Christmas, even if it was just for one night."

Leaning your head against the back cushion of the sofa, you stare at him with a bittersweet smile on your face. "Are you mad at me?"

He shakes his head, expression more adamant about that than anything he's said so far. "Not a bit. I was worried, yes, and maybe a little disappointed. I think most of that was tied to the fact that I thought we were on the up-and-up. I saw you slowly opening up and having a good time."

"Gahhh," you groan, eyes fluttering shut with frustration at your past self. "I really fucked it up, didn't I?"

"Not really." His hand slips up your knee, and he weaves his fingers through yours. The squeeze he gives and the gaze he locks gives emphasis to his next words. "I know I don't know everything about you, just like you don't know everything about me, but I'd be lying if I said you aren't the most joyful thing I've experienced in a while. Being around you makes me happy, and the fact that this has you so down makes me want to be there for you — if you want me to. I don't blame you for anything you've done, so you have nothing to be sorry for. Honestly, after hearing those messages and some of what you've been dealing with this year, I know I would've reacted the same way. But, if it helps your peace of mind, then I forgive it all."

"Thank you," you whisper, trying to blink away the tears pricking your eyes.

Namjoon's gaze softens, and he tugs on your hand. "C'mere." You scoot closer, and he pulls you the rest of the way onto his lap and into his arms. Your legs dangle off the side of his thighs, and your head nestles in the juncture between his neck and shoulder. One hand holds tightly to yours while the other circles your waist, dipping under your sweater to rub soothing circles on your skin. Your free arm wraps around his waist, pulling him even closer than before.

"Sometimes terrible, inexplicable things happen to us and it takes us months — even years — to process." Namjoon's timbre is quiet and deep, rumbling against your ear as he speaks. "Everyone goes through that, even me. But it's so much harder to face it alone. Sometimes it takes a lonely, awful Christmas to see just how out of sorts you are. I don't know everything, but if you'll have me, I'd like to stick around to find out."

"You'd still be willing to get to know me more, even after seeing me at my worst?"

"Jagi, if this is your worst, then I would hate to introduce you to sixteen-year-old Kim Namjoon. That boy was a train-wreck."

Letting a watery smile show as laughter escapes your lungs, you reach upward and wrap your arms around Namjoon's neck. He pulls you closer, hands splayed on your back and waist. A sense of relief, and something like home, floods through you. Burying your face in his neck, you allow yourself a moment to collect your thoughts. Ever patient, your companion just holds you close as you come back around.

"Enough with the heavy," he breaks the silence, pulling back and wiping his thumb across your cheeks. Nodding towards the front of the space, where your television is, you follow his line of sight. "I brought your movie and the player. If you're okay with me staying over, do you wanna watch it?"

Leaning forward, you bring your face closer to his, murmuring, "I'd love that."

Namjoon closes the final distance. Both your eyes and his flutter shut as your lips meet in the middle. You tug on the collar of his sweater, encouraging him closer as his arms tighten around your waist. In a burst of bravery, you run your hand through his platinum hair and nip at his bottom lip. He inhales abruptly, and you giggle in response.

"You're gonna be the death of me, [Y/n] [Y/l/n]," he laughs, eventually pulling back to catch his breath.

You grin mischievously at him, biting your lower lip. "Still sure you wanna stay?"

"Definitely. Oh! And I placed an order for takeout, which should be here any minute."

You burst into laughter, resting your forehead against his shoulder as joy fills your body. "You really put all your chips on me coming to my senses, didn't you?" When he shrugs, you add, "What if I had said no?"

"Then I would've been eating for two alone in my apartment," he groans.

You shake your head at his antics and playfully poke the dimple in his cheek. “Merry Christmas, Joonie.”

His smile deepens at your words and gesture. “Merry Christmas, [Y/n].”

Just as he promised, food arrives at the front of your apartment a few minutes later. Namjoon hops up and volunteers to get it from the entrance, and you pop the movie into the player. Silencing the music on his phone, you select the "Play" option from the menu, and the credits begin to play over Anthony Hopkins' narration as your companion returns.

He serves up the food and delivers it to you on the sofa. With a rumbling stomach, you take it gratefully. Just as the singing begins, Namjoon settles into the seat beside you, hooking your leg over his so you maintain closeness as you devour the takeout. Neither of you have seen it in so long, and thus both of you are laughing whole-heartedly at every joke and hilarious mannerism.

After the meal is finished and the dishes are on the makeshift box side-table, you find yourself slowly slipping closer to your companion. Namjoon gladly pulls you closer, and by the middle of the movie, you're back in his lap. With the blanket wrapped around you both, his chin on your head, his arms around you with one hand tracing absent-minded patterns on the skin above your pants, you know you've never been more at home in Seoul than you are right now.

"I'm sorry I ruined your grand plans for Day 3," you murmur after a while.

Namjoon's hand on your waist halts, then changes to a reassuring, tapping pattern. "Be glad you did; this is way better than anything I had planned."

"While I have to agree, what did you have planned?"

You can hear his smile in his voice. "Well, honestly I hadn't decided between Lotte World or Seoullo 7017. You said you hadn't been to either of those, and at Christmas, they're magical. All the lights, the music, it's an absolute winter wonderland."

"Well, if I get to see you skate live, then we can definitely go to those after the solar New Year. Maybe...Maybe even call it a date?"

Namjoon presses a kiss to your forehead, one that makes you grin to yourself and sigh peacefully. His reply is loud and clear, a promise reverberating through his chest. "I think that sounds perfect."

As the movie continues, you relax and think back on everything that's happened this year. All your concerns and worries you had a few weeks prior, at the beginning of December, they all seem so far away now. Even those anxieties brought up recently feel as if they're resolved. he sense is comparable to that of a chapter ending and a new one is being written. And this time, you're the one holding the pen.

At the resolution of the film, you realize that what Namjoon set out to do over a series of adventures truly did come to fruition. Be it luck or fate or whatever you want to call it, he really has given you that spark of hope in the Christmas season. It's something you thought you'd lost, or perhaps you'd left it in America along with many other things. He's brought it back to life, and so much more along with it.

All that magic, all that wonder, all that love and hope and joy — Namjoon is right. It hasn't disappeared from the world, and you haven't outgrown the things you used to feel during the holiday season. It's all still right here, in front of you and around you, waiting to be taken with grateful hands and heart. Maybe it's not in the form it used to be, nor is it in the place it used to be, but neither are you. Both you and your home have changed this year. But despite it all, you are still here, still striving to love yourself and your new life, still trying to let the magic find you.

And this year, because of a wonderful person named Kim Namjoon, you had all the love and magic you could ever need.

[hxneydreamers]

Hello dear ! I have read your blogs. You are amazing !!!! (10000x 💞 for you ). I wanted to ask a question . Neville goddard said that time doesn't really exist in manifesting . So actually my sp who is celebrity is very very older than me . Like we have a age gap of 12 years. 😥 as said i am minor. I decided to manifest him when i am 18 . But sometimes i get impatient but then i feel a bit upset and it's not legal to date a minor. Plus he lives in korea . As i have indian parents they never will allow me to even fly to korea. And even if we get in a relationship . They will never like him. Tho my mother is into the group (he is in a group ) she won't ever. As being in india , india is pathetic country with bs Trash . They ( the group is seen as bunch of gays) and most hurting thing is lgbtq is not accepted in this fuking country . Ppl tread them as trash not human. They get so much discrimination ( most of them are transgender ) and hate . Like they have to live together because thier parents disown them and stuff. Makeup is gender less. But in this country men have to be men. like all the fking indian celebrity don't ever wear makeup (males) . (Not gonna lie they all don't even have clear skin like korean ) Skin care is not menly . Men shouldn't do it. The mentally in this country is fucked up.

Now back to the topic.

- how my parents will judge him ? (Most my papa because mom knows a lot about korean cultural but she won't stand with me including some mfs relatives who judgemental af . Relatives ohh my these bishs are hella judgement (most the old one) doesn't matter how they themselves look or personality )

- is he gay ? Why he so feminine ? He is uses makeup damn sure he is gay or somthing he is a girl for sure !!

Doesn't matter how successfully he is and his personality . Doesn't matter how much more he is successful more than you. (Relatives and parent) don't matter if loves your beautiful daughter. doesn't fuken matter if he is caring and financial stable.

- as i minor they won't let me go to even study in korea !

- tbh my plans are to skip 12 or 10 grade (i am in 8 th grade now) and study in korean university as it's one of my dream. Then work as cosmologist here . I want to to have family here.

But but but

My parents hahah never i even asked them they even made fun of my dreams and they said it's gonna take 20 years to reach there .

I am extremely discouraged .

Then on the other hand i also want to desire body before everything happens . Like going to korea and stuff.

I suck at affirming and visualizing . I habe never got results from scripting.

Plus i got my school too. Omg also learning korean too.

Omg i am so done !! 😭 please help me and guide me. And advice me ! i am extremely sorry for my bad english . I am not a native.

Everything is so hard

Hey! Thank you so so so much for reaching out to me! I really appreciate you coming to me for advice! Don’t worry, your English was fine!

*I'm going to begin this post by clarifying that whilst it is possible for you to manifest anything in your reality, I do not encourage you manifesting this person if you are underage and they are much older. You have said in your question that you will not manifest them until you are 18, which is good, however I will just make it clear that this post is to help you manifest the other circumstances in your reality, and not the person or the age gap.*

Let me start by telling you I obviously haven’t experienced this as intensely as you have as I live in a country where people are much more open-minded about sexuality and ideas of masculinity, but I have stories to share with you from my own life that are very similar to what you want to manifest! They might encourage you! (PS, these following stories all took place from when I was at the age of 19 and up.)

(This story is before I knew about manifesting). My parents are very strict and traditional and I always wanted to go overseas to study in a specific country for at least a few months. My parents forbid it and I never would have been allowed to go, but I wanted it so badly that it was all I thought about and dreamed about! I started watching a TV show set in that country every single day. I even learned the language for fun. I somehow manifested it, because the next year, I took a semester off university and I went to that country for 3 months to live. So no matter what your parents say, you can 100% manifest this.

I had a celebrity crush in that country and I wanted to meet him and be with him SO BADLY! I didn’t know about manifesting until afterwards unfortunately, but guess what? I manifested seeing him MULTIPLE TIMES on the street, because I constantly thought about seeing him there and bumping into him! I even messaged him once and he responded. I also had one of his best friends on snapchat because I met him when I was there lol. I never got the celebrity crush because I focused too much on negative things. If I knew about manifesting, I would have gotten what I wanted.

My (specific person) SP who I am currently dating is actually someone who my parents also didn’t approve of for a long time because of sexuality and he is not stereotypically masculine! They also kept telling me negative things. The good news is that now my parents accept him and are happy for us!

Thank you for giving me the background information on your circumstances, it helps me understand your situation much better, and it also shows me how you’re thinking about the situation as well, which is the most important thing.

The beliefs you have are these:

Parents and other people not approving of the kind of people you are interested in.

You don’t think you can go to Korea for a long time

I’m happy to tell you that YOU CAN CHANGE THIS SITUATION!

As I said in the beginning, the age gap is illegal and should not be manifested. So as a result, you should begin with your beliefs about your family's negative opinions and your ability to travel in the future.

You need to stop mentally reacting to what they say when it’s negative about men who are not stereotypically masculine etc, and also when they say negative things about you ever traveling. They are only saying these things because in your mind you believe this to be true. Reality is an illusion and you need to know that if you really push through and persist, even if it feels extremely difficult, you can change this!

You should start by affirming your self-concept, something like this (you can also affirm in your own language if you prefer so it's natural to you :) whatever is comfortable for you!)

I am capable of anything!

I am a master at manifesting!

I always get what I want easily and effortlessly!

Everything always works out how I want!

Then I want you to affirm for your circumstances:

My family is always extremely accepting and encouraging!

I’m so happy that I’m going to Korea!

If you find it hard to visualise you can just affirm. I know you may feel like you’re bad at it, but if you practice it will get easier. Set a timer for 5 minutes and say your affirmations over and over! Make sure you don’t have any distractions. Focus on them. Do this several times a day, every day.

Also, if you can get the app ‘ThinkUp’ record yourself saying your strongest affirmations, and listen to them at night when you sleep. Start with your self-concept affirmations only for maybe 2 weeks! Then you can add your other affirmations.

Your goal is to change the way you feel and think about yourself and what you are able to do, your surroundings and your family’s opinions. Start with these things. Really persist in them.

I hope this helps in some way! If you ever need to reach out to anyone, so many people on Tumblr in the manifesting community are here to listen! We all want each other to succeed and I know that if you put the work in to do this, you will too!!

I also recommend you start binge-watching one of these youtube channels:

Sammy Ingram

Manifesting With Kimberly

Manifesting Secrets

Dylan James

Create Your Future

YOU CAN DO THIS <3

[naeunsfm]

          hi  everyone  !  as  mentioned  in  the  chat  ,  my  name’s  kofi  ,  i’m  twenty4  ,  a  lover  of  cheap  phone  games  ,  and  i  prefer  either  she / her  or  they / them  pronouns  .  naeun  is  a  brand  new  muse  of  mine  so  i’m  still  working  through  any  kinks  that  may  arise  ,  but  i’m  sure  that  as  i  get  to  develop  her  ,  i’ll  figure  it  all  out  !  that  being  said  ,  underneath  the  cut  you  can  find  her  intro  !

(  MOON  GA  YOUNG  ,  26  ,  CIS  WOMAN  ,  SHE / HER  )  *  hey  ,  i’m  looking  for  the  office  of  NAEUN  HAN  .  they’re  the  EMPLOYEE  who’s  known  around  the  office  as  the  POOR  LITTLE  RICH  GIRL  ,  if  that  helps  ?  not  to  be  a  gossip  ,  but  i’ve  heard  that  they’re  BUOYANT  but  CAVALIER  ,  is  that  true  ?  i  also  heard  that  she’s  the  one  that  BROKE  THE  NESPRESSO  MACHINE  ON  HER  FIRST  DAY  .  anyways  ,  here’s  the  coffee  they  ordered  .

template  credit  to  @ngoeuns  !

          name  :  han  naeun  .  nicknames  :  went  by  nancy  during  her  school  years.  age  +  date  of  birth  :  26  +  april  3rd  ,  1994  .  zodiac  :  aries  .  moral  alignment  :  chaotic  neutral  .  gender  +  pronouns  :  cis  woman  +  she / her / hers  .  place  of  birth  :  yeongdeungpo-gu  ,  seoul  ,  south  korea  .  place  of  residence  :  new  york  city  ,  new  york  .  orientation  :  bisexual  biromantic  .  occupation  :  wardrobe  stylist  ,  cut  off  rich  girl  .  nationality  :  korean - american  .  ethnicity  :  korean  .  languages  spoken  :  korean  ,  english  ,  conversational  japanese  .

background.

         naeun  han  was  born  in  seoul  ,  south  korea  to  her  relatively  rich  parents  ,  ji - cheol  and  sang - mi  .  with  ji - cheol  as  a  successful  private  doctor  and  sang - mi  owning  her  own  business  ,  life  was  comfortable  for  the  han  family  .  the  family  was  living  in  seoul  at  the  time  ,  and  had  plans  to  leave  for  the  states  ,  but  their  plans  were  put  on  hold  when  sang - mi  found  out  she  was  pregnant  .  the  couple  decided  to  stay  in  seoul  for  two  years  ,  and  relocated  to  new  york  shortly  after  naeun’s  seond  birthday  .  the  small  family  settled  into  the  neighborhood  of  jamaica  estates  ,  and  they  started  their  comfortable  life  .

         growing  up  ,  naeun  was  a  girl  who  was  ridiculously  spoiled  .  it  showed  in  her  themed  birthday  parties  ,  in  her  gifts  ,  and  in  the  way  that  her  father  would  easily  hand  over  his  credit  card  when  she  wanted  to  go  shopping  .  however  ,  although  naeun  was  spoiled  by  her  parents  ,  she  was  also  heavily  ignored  .  the  gifts  ,  the  clothes  ,  and  the  birthday  parties  were  simply  a  show  that  they  were  caring  parents  ,  but  in  reality  they  were  simply  too  busy  for  her  .  naeun  can  remember  being  told  that  her  parents  would  be  there  for  recitals  ,  but  they’d  never  show  up  .  even  if  she  were  picked  up  by  her  father  ,  she  could  barely  say  how  her  day  was  before  he  went  back  to  having  a  conversation  with  other  people  .

          naeun  could  have  been  considered  as  one  of  the  popular  girls  on  her  private  school  campus  .  it  mostly  stems  from  the  fact  that  she  had  money  ,  but  she  also  had  parents  who  seemingly  didn’t  care  .  she  could  go  to  parties  ,  hang  out  until  late  with  her  friends  ,  and  when  they  went  on  business  trips  ,  her  house  was  the  place  to  party  .  the  only  person  that  naeun  had  the  most  respect  for  was  the  family’s  housekeeper  ,  as  her  parents  only  paid  attention  to  her  when  she  had  gotten  into  trouble  .  there  was  no  praise  when  she  was  passing  her  honors  courses  ,  but  when  she  purposefully  let  a  grade  slip  ,  then  she  had  gotten  an  ear  full  .  if  there  was  one  thing  naeun  was  looking  forward  to  ,  it  was  college  .

          so  when  the  time  comes  ,  naeun  couldn’t  be  happier  that  she  was  accepted  to  the  new  school  .  although  it  was  that  far  away  from  her  parents  ,  she  was  grateful  for  the  chance  to  be  from  underneath  their  watchful  eye  .  despite  that  ,  her  parents  still  expected  the  best  from  her  ,  so  she  made  sure  to  do  well  while  studying  liberal  arts  .  naeun  graduates  ,  and  immediately  goes  into  studying  fashion  studies  for  her  masters  degree  .  while  there  ,  naeun  participates  in  various  apprenticeships  ,  and  her  most  prominent  was  working  with  proenza  schouler  that  solidifies  her  love  for  fashion  .  naeun  graduates  from  the  parson  school  of  design  ,  obtaining  her  masters  ,  and  is  surprised  when  she  finally  receives  praise  from  her  parents.

          for  a  little  over  a  year  ,  naeun  decides  to  take  it  easy  .  she  vacations  ,  spends  money  frivolously  ,  and  even  manages  to  spark  up  something  of  a  following  on  social  media  .  she  spends  her  time  sitting  front  row  at  various  fashion  shows  and  spending  time  in  seoul  .  eventually  ,  as  he  often  did  ,  ji - cheol  steps  into  naeun’s  life  and  wonders  when  his  daughter  will  stop  living  like  she  has  no  problems  .  at  that  point  ,  he  decides  to  cut  his  daughter  off  from  the  limitless  credit  cards  and  extravagant  lifestyle  she  was  used  to  .  her  parents  make  her  move  out  into  her  own  apartment  (  which  they  bought  but  whatever  )  ,  and  was  expected  to  land  a  job  in  three  months  .

          tired  of  her  parents  only  finding  faults  with  all  she  does  ,  naeun  hits  the  ground  running  with  finding  a  job  .  there  were  times  where  she  couldn’t  get  interviews  or  even  a  call  back  ,  but  she  never  stopped  .  eventually  ,  as  the  three  months  were  coming  to  an  end  ,  she  lands  a  job  at  masters  international  .  she  lands  the  job  as  wardrobe  stylist  ,  and  for  once  ,  she  can  rub  in  her  parents’  face  that  she’s  capable  of  providing  for  herself  .  so  ,  naeun  has  been  working  at  masters  for  a  little  over  a  year  now  ,  and  is  often  the  first  point  of  contact  when  someone  needs  to  put  together  an  outfit  .  if  she’s  not  breaking  nespresso  machines  ,  you  can  find  her  in  her  office  or  on  a  photoshoot  set  .

headcanons.

naeun  ,  despite  being  cut  off  ,  is  still  spoiled  as  hell  .  she  tends  to  let  this  side  of  her  come  out  when  she’s  being  lazy  ,  and  often  will  expect  that  others  will  do  something  for  her  even  if  she  doesn’t  ask  (  and  please  ,  tell  her  no  )  .

she  has  the  temperament  of  a  petulant  child  .  sometimes  she’s  happy  ,  sometimes  she’s  moody  ,  and  most  of  the  time   she’s  upset  over  something  minor  .  

she’s  a  pot  stirrer  !  do  not  tell  her  your  business  or  she’s  gonna  spill  the  beans  ,  mostly  as  an  effort  to  cause  drama  .  the  phrase  ‘  throws  a  rock  and  hides  her  hand  ’  was  coined  because  of  naeun  .  she’s  messy  ,  but  at  least  she’ll  own  up  to  it  . . .  sometimes  .

she  is  extremely  anal  about  her  skincare / makeup  routine  ,  and  doesn’t  deviate  from  either  if  it  would  make  her  late  .  she’s  the  friend  who  you  swear  worked  at  sephora  or  ulta  in  a  past  life  because  she  knows  everything  there  is  to  know  about  various  products  .  a  skincare  fridge  user  ,  and  definitely  the  girl  who  starts  her  morning  with  jade  rollers  and  chugging  down  lemon  ice  water  .

her  main  style  inspo  is  freddy  cousin - brown  (  freddy  on  instagram  !  )  .  this  means  lots  of  pale  tones  ,  matching  skirt  and  top  sets  ,  perfectly  chosen  accessories  ,  and  of  course  ,  the  most  perfect  blowout  to  ever  exist  .  

you  know  those  scenes  in  2000s  romantic  comedy  films  where  the  main  character  and  her  friend  are  driving  ,  but  they’re  screaming  the  whole  time  ?  live  footage  of  naeun  when  driving  ,  mostly  because  she  only  got  her  driver’s  license  about  a  year  ago  (  olivia  rodrigo  WHO  )  and  even  then  ,  she  doesn’t  drive  often  .

even  though  her  parents  essentially  kicked  her  out  ,  they  still  bought  her  apartment  ,  so  it’s  this  really  fancy  place  in  manhattan  !  the  main  difference  is  she  can’t  afford  housekeepers  and  the  like  ,  so  she’s  had  to  learn  how  to  take  care  of  herself  in  every  form  .  be  careful  when  coming  to  her  place  though  ,  as  she  was  able  to  get  a  two  bedroom  (  primarily  for  closet  space  )  ,  but  she  has  so  many  clothes  that  they’ve  taken  up  nearly  every  free  space  in  her  apartment  NFJDFJD  . 

[electricprincess96]

Hey 👋 can I ask how you are learning Korean. Is it mainly through a college class or by other means. Would you have any advice for a beginner? 💛 thank you

Hey sorry for the late reply this is the beginning of exam week and I've got an exam on Wednesday and a Presentation due Thursday.

So firstly yes I'm learning Korean at University. My main course is Asian Pacific Studies (I guess if you're American I'd say that's my Major) which looks at the politics, history, culture and international relations of the Asian Pacific Region (so Japan, Korea, China, Taiwan, South East Asia, Russia, and America) there is talk of changing the course if Indo Pacific Studies which would broaden the scope to include the Indian Sub Continent.

Everyone in my course has a language course (either Japanese, Chinese, Korean or Russian) that they do alongside this so again if you're that would be my minor I think. My language was Korean.

I had very little Korean experience before starting this degree but some advice I can give is learn Hangeul and drop romanisation really fast, romanisation adds almost nothing to the learning factor of Korean and will more likely confuse you than help you, if you haven't mastered Hangeul yet then do it, its not that hard we learnt it after 4 hours of class time.

2nd. Don't prioritise just grammar or just vocab because one is useless without the other. I have managed to grasp grammar pretty well but I'm still struggling with vocab I find listening is an easier way for me to learn words that reading them.

I'd highly recommend Talk To Me In Korean, their free podcast is split into short and easy to digest chunks where they'll teach you 1 or 2 things every episode.

Little pronunciation tip you will traditionally be told that "ㅇ" if it is at the start of a character its silent... which is true unless the character before it has a final consonant so for example 할아버지 there is the ㄹ at the bottom of the character before the ㅇ so the ㄹ sound is "stolen" by the ㅇ so it will be pronounced 하 - 라 - 버 - 지.

Also many consonants when they are in the final consonant position will sound different than what you'll have been taught they normally sound like.

Like ㅅ normally makes close to an "s" sound when it is at the start of a character however when its at the bottom of a character it makes a "t" sound. And good online material will likely have a lesson on this pronunciation rule, if you can't find one let me know and I'll look for my notes from that class to get a full list of which consonants change.

화이팅

[btschooseafic]

Hey you, what’s your dream?

Pairing: platonic!oc x ot7

Details: manager!oc, predebut/idolverse, partial BTS World!verse

Summary: Aviva meets a rapper named Ranch Randa Rap Monster.

Warnings: This is a fictional story based on real events. The characters presented here are not the same as their real life counterparts. (TW: minor blood mention) [Masterlist]

Track 1: Enter, Kim Namjoon           

Rap Genius- San E

“Call me Rap Monster, cause I rap nonstop

Underground quality, mentality of rockstar”

April 2010

The first trainee was an underground rapper around her age that Bang Sihyuk had personally recruited. He was… tall.

“Hi.” The boy tilted his head down, studying her. “I think I’ve seen you around here before. Are you a trainee?”

“Ah, no, I’m Chen Aviva, Assistant, 16—wait no, 17 years old,” Aviva said, bowing slightly. “You’re actually the first trainee the agency has had in a while. I’ve been told to go over your contract with you.”

“I’m Kim Namjoon. We’re the same age.” He grinned. “Your Korean is pretty good.”

She smiled weakly. “Thank you. I still need more practice...”

“You’re American?” Namjoon guessed. “I wouldn’t mind practicing my English if you wanted to learn together.” Her smile brightened considerably.

“Thank you, I would like that. Should we sit down and do the contract?” She motioned at the table. He nodded and moved to sit, knocking into a vase as he did. “Watch out!” She quickly pushed him out of the way.

“Whoa! Shit, are you okay?” He stepped around the broken shards of the vase to get closer to her, looking her over in concern. “You’re bleeding!”

She looked at her arm.

“Just a little. I’ve got bandaids back in the other room… are you hurt at all?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Thanks to you. Sorry for being so clumsy.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. After things had settled down and he signed the contract, she noticed him making a face. “Something wrong?”

“Thinking about my signature,” he said. “It doesn’t seem the most professional.”

“It seems fine to me,” she thought, looking at it. “Tell you what...” She pulled out her notebook and held it out to him. “Why don’t you practice some more and give me your autograph?”

“What?” He stared at her.

“I mean, I’ve heard a few of your mixtapes. I’m still learning about Hip Hop, but even I can see you’ve got talent. I think one day you’ll be doing a lot of autographs, so you might as well start now.”

“Aish...” He rubbed his neck, his face flushing pink. “Asking for my autograph, you’re embarrassing me.”

“... So I can’t have it?”

He smiled. “I didn’t say that.”

Later that night, Aviva told Soonyoung about the new trainee as they snuggled up on the couch, the news playing on low volume on their cheap TV in the background.

“Ah, I’ve heard of him,” Soonyoung said, yawning as she held Aviva closer. “Rancha Randa —the underground rapper, yeah?”

“He’s going by Rap Monster now, I think,” Aviva told her. Soonyoung hummed.

“Rumor has it Bang-PD-nim really likes him,” she said. “I haven’t met him, but he sounds cute.”

Aviva frowned. “How? I didn’t even describe his appearance to you.”

“I meant his personality,” Soonyoung said. She smirked. “Why, was his appearance cute?”

“…A bit,” Aviva admitted.

“You know…” Soonyoung said slowly. “It might be discouraged, but I think, technically, you’d be allowed to date, since you’re in management.”

“Yeah, but he’s a trainee, so—”

Soonyoung laughed. “Not him, necessarily. I just mean in general.”

“Oh.” Aviva tilted her head. “I don’t know, Soon. Why are you bringing this up right now?” Soonyoung chewed her lip.

“I don’t know. It’s just, we haven’t got to spend so much time together recently, and I’m worried you’re lonely.”

“What, I can’t see my best friend as often so I should get a boyfriend?” Aviva’s nose wrinkled. “Doesn’t seem like a fair trade.”

“Doesn’t have to be a boy,” Soonyoung put in. Aviva shook her head, frowning. “Okay, okay, we don’t have to open that can of worms right now, Viva. I’m just saying.”

Aviva easily pushed the conversation out of mind, having a lot of work to focus on. She spent much of her time in the Big Hit conference room, where she got her work done whenever it wasn’t being used for meetings. Even though he was busy between working on music at the studio, and commenting back and forth from home at Illsan, to school, to Big Hit, Namjoon had kept his word, stopping by sometimes to chat to practice English and Korean, or just chat about music and their days.

That summer, more and more new trainees were recruited as auditions opened up for boys to form a Hip Hop group. Ahn Youngjin, Head of the New Artist Development Team was able to find a dorm space at the last moment.

While Namjoon was the first to move in, he certainly wasn’t the last. There was soon an influx of trainees. While not all of them were being considered for Bang Sihyuk’s hip hop group, dancer Park Yeongman, and rappers Jung Hunchul (Iron), and Shin Donghyuk (Supreme Boi) were on the shortlist. Youngjin struggled to keep up with living space, and at one point there were ten boys sleeping in one room. While this seemed like an easy recipe for chaos, in Aviva’s opinion, she heard many reports that Namjoon was doing a great job of keeping the peace. The first to be recruited had emerged as a natural leader.

Centered around Namjoon, Bang Sihyuk began to form a better image of his hip hop group, coming up with the name Bulletproof Boyz, or BPB.

[markftmingi]

NAUGHTY & NICE - 03

you always thought that stars were beautiful. they were little specks of glowing light. stars to you looked like a bottle of glitter was spilled over the sky. what do stars even feel like? your personal pillow started moving, making you annoyed.

"johnny, stop fucking moving,” you mumbled.

"if you're going to complain, you don't deserve to lay on my shoulder,” johnny retorted, letting out a huff of smoke.

you glared at him, before moving your head back to lay on the couch. it didn't stay there for long however. the back porch door that separated the backyard from the house opened and in came lucas... and six other boys.

"lucas!" yuta exclaimed as the boy approached the group.

"hey!" lucas walked around giving hugs and handshakes to them before sitting on the couch next to johnny.

"who are your friends?" you asked about them both but your eyes were only focused on one of them.

"well, this is my new friend, mark. we met this morning. these are his friends: jeno, renjun, donghyuck, jaemin, and yangyang. boys,  this is y/n, johnny, jaehyun, yuta, and hendery."

almost all the boys smiled and greeted everyone with a waves and hellos. mark, however, didn't smile at all but he observed them before looking away again. that made you intrigued. quiet ones made you curious. the quiet ones always had another side to them. you learned that when you met kun, winwin, and vernon. what was mark's other side?

"hey, mark." you smirked slightly.

mark's head shot up to look at you properly.

"y-yes?"

"come sit next to me. let's chat."

mark bit his lip but did what he was told. you could feel the heat radiating off of his body.

"mark lee, huh? korean surname with an english first name. you from here?"

"my parents are korean. i was born in canada."

you nodded, "korean-canadian...cute. tell me more."

"i...um... i'm 20. first year in college. i major in law but i have a passion for music. i like making beats and writing lyrics... mainly beats." he said quietly, as he fiddled with one of the bracelets on his arm.

"oh wow, me too but i’m a music major. is music your minor?”

mark shook his head, “parents won’t let me.”

mark always had a love for music. his parents didn't think going to college to study music would get him a "real job", so he changed his major to another thing to please his parents.

you looked back at his face. mark wanted to ask questions. you could tell.

"ask away,” you leaned back into the chair, still staring at the shy boy.

"tell me everything," mark blurted out before he could stop himself, "i'm sorry! i didn't mean to say that. it came off really demanding."

it made you laugh and not from the marijuana that was clouded in your body.

"demanding is good sometimes, it's fine. mark, you need to relax. if you're this tense on your first day, you'll end up hating this place."

johnny had finally turned towards you, nudging your thigh with the back of his hand. you smoothly took the blunt and brought it to your lips. mark watched your every move. you swiftly inhaled the smoke before tilting your head and releasing into the smoke. the smell was foreign to mark but it didn't bother him as much as he thought it would.

"you ever smoke before?" you questioned, taking another hit.

mark shook his head. eyes still trained on your mouth.

"oh good! we get to take your weed virginity!" hendery called out, making everyone laugh.

"shut the fuck up, hen. mark doesn't have to smoke if he doesn't want to." you stuck out your tongue at hendery before passing the blunt to him.

"however, if you do decide to smoke, make sure you come to me. i want to take that virginity hendery’s talking about." you whispered before getting off the couch and walking into the house.

and mark didn't realize how much trouble he would be in from this point on.

NAUGHTY & NICE MASTERLIST

[maidenof-thesea]

Snakes & Butterflies | Part IX

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Soulmate Au!, Fluff, Angst, Smut (in the future)

Words: 3.3k

Warning: minor swearing,drug abuse, and angst

Note: I struggled a lot with this part, mostly because I lost inspiration and motivation with what direction I wanted to go with this. I want this story to be sort of long and I really want to go into depth with each character’s role and want to explore the universe that I am trying to create but I’m really scared of ya’ll losing interest. So I made a promise to myself that regardless of the feedback I get back, I will write the story that I want in my own time and to accept how long it will take. Once again thank you! and stay inside if you can! and stay safe. Wash your hands!!

Reminder: * conversations in Korean *

                                      Seokjin

I really don’t want to be here, I must be getting too old for this

“Is it safe to say that this feels weird?” Namjoon says as he walks next to me. I nod in agreement. Jimin and the girl from the museum were ahead in line before us. She had brought a couple of friends with her that were trying to get acquainted with Taehyung and Jungkook. They were all really pretty but rave girls weren’t my thing, and I think Jungkook agreed with me there, from the uncomfortable look on his face.

“Hyung,” Hoseok says from behind us. “You mentioned that the professor is studying the origin of Neathandals?”

“Yea,” I said, already flinching from the sound of the bass of the techno music. I was gonna be deaf at the end of this. “That’s what Namjoon said.”

“It should be okay right?” Yoongi asked, his foot ticking nervously. “She knows him from school right?”

“She can take care of herself,” I sighed but I wasn’t really convinced myself. None of us were okay with it, especially Jimin, as much as he tried ignoring it. Before we left, Jimin was the last in the car, seemingly waiting for her to come out of her room. 

“Hyung,” Jungkook whined as we finally made it past security. “Can we go?”

“We just got here Kookie,” Namjoon said. “What’s the matter?”

“Noona,” Jungkook sighed. “Jimin...something happened right?”

We all stood contemplating, it was obvious Jimin was pushing Y/N away, but it was in a cruel way. He was using this girl, whom he never even bothered to introduce to us. Jimin had always messed around, that wasn’t anything new, but this time was different. 

“Maybe,” I said rubbing Jungkook’s head. “We shouldn’t force it, we should let them decide for themselves.”

“But,” Jungkook sighs dejectedly. “Noona has been alone this whole time…”

“Hyung’s right Kookie,” Namjoon interjects and there’s the tone of finality. Jungkook drops the subject for now. “Now can one of you tell me what a ABG is?”

And he’s supposed to be the smartest one? Lord help me.

“Hey, Boss” I said into my cellphone as I was struggling to lace my boots. “There should be a guest staying there under the name Minho Lee, do you mind transferring me to his room?”

“Y/N,” Patricia said, her tone sounding a bit too fake, even for her customer service voice. “He’s actually waiting here in the lobby, do you want to talk to him?”

“Are you okay?” I said, already locking the front door, and heading out to my car. “Just tell him, I’m on my way.”

“OK,” Patricia said, her tone wavering. “I’ll let him know.”

She hung up, leaving me in confusion. Dread filled me though when I saw all her text messages.

Patricia[7:50pm]: YOUNG LADY WHY IS THERE A MAN ASKING FOR YOU HERE? OMG HE’S HANDSOME AF!! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INTO ASIANS! YOU BETTER CALL ME!! 

“I should have told him to meet me at Denny’s or something.” I sighed and I hopped into my jeep. I start to head to the hotel, once I’m stopped at a red light, I check to see how swollen my eyes were, hoping it wasn’t too bad as it was twenty minutes ago. “That make up trick really helped, thanks Jennie.”

Once I parked on my usual spot, I honked once and from the bay windows, I see Minho, look up from his phone, and he grabs his satchel that looks similar to mine. My phone chimes and there’s another text message from Patricia, saying to have fun with a winky face. I cringe and roll my eyes, as Minho approaches the driver’s side of my car.

“Hey, you’re a bit late,” He says with a laugh, I smile sheepishly and gesture for him to get in. “Are we still having barbeque with your guests?”

“Oh,” I said feeling a bit awkward. “Actually we can if you still want to? They actually went out for tonight, they probably won’t be home for awhile..”

“I was thinking of actually going to this restaurant, I frequent there a lot.”

“Oh okay, that’s fine.” I said, reversing out. “Tell me where to go, Prof.”

                                        Hoseok

“What are all these white people doing?” Yoongi asked loudly. He clutched my hand tightly, afraid to lose me in the crowd. I felt a familiar chill run up my arm, and my mark felt hot, which any other time, I would be okay with it, but it was quite hot in here, but I get it these people are weird. 

“They are ‘head-banging’” Namjoon answered reading something on his phone. “Humans are so weird.”

“They called us savages..” Yoongi muttered. “On second thought, look at this asshole.”

We both look at Jimin, whispering into the girls ear. She nods in agreement and they walk away hand in hand, towards a more secluded place.

“I’m actually glad Y/N went on a date,” Taehyung says sipping on a beer. 

“It’s not a date,” Jungkook says. “He’s a professor from her department. They’ll probably discussing her experience, she was suppose to go to Mexico to study the Mayan pyramids.”

“That’s besides the point though,” He continues in frustration.  “I thought the whole point of this vacation was so that we can hang out, not help Jimin get his d-”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung growls in warning. “Watch your mouth that’s our hyung.”

Jungkook glares at Taehyung, who glares right back.

“Enough,” I say and they both looked at me with wide eyes. I was a bit surprised myself, but this whole ordeal was getting annoying. There was no room to dance, these weird ‘ABG’s kept flirting with me and Yoongi, in spite of the fact that we are holding hands. Jimin is disregarding how we feel about being here. “Listen you two, I don’t condone Jungkook’s attitude but I understand where he is coming from. Jimin is being inconsiderate of us, hyung can you-”

“Already on it,” Jin-hyung says heading towards the exit.

“And Namjoonie,” I say looking up at him. His eyes were wide and he stood up more straight. “Text Jimin that we’re leaving.”

“But-” Taehyung protests.

“You are welcome to stay if you want,” Yoongi says, already pulling me towards the exit. 

Taehyung doesn’t say another word and follows us, and Jungkook stays behind with Namjoon who is on his phone once more.

                                       Jimin

You don’t even know her name, what are you doing?

“Do you want to go somewhere more private?” I whisper into her ear. She nods and her eyes are unfocused, hazy. When did she get so intoxicated? Before I could protest, she was pulling me somewhere more private. She wraps her arms around my shoulders and pulls me in. “Wait..”

“What’s the matter?” She slurs as she places my hand on her exposed hip. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

What did I want again? 

“Or do you need some encouragement?” She asks as she bends down and I flinch away from her. “Relax, babe.” She commences to pull out a packet from her shoe, a packet of pills. Ecstasy. 

Jungkookie make sure you don’t take any pills from anyone okay? 

Her voice resonates in my mind and I gulp. I mentally shake her voice out of my head. I’m with a different girl, I shouldn’t be thinking about her. But no wonder this girl was barely able to talk, she had pills and alcohol.

“I mean I can do that too if you want,” she continues and she loops her fingers in my belt loops and pulls me closer. I look down at her, and I can’t help but compare her to Y/N. She had short black hair, compared to Y/N’s long dark hair. She had small lips compared to Y/N’s plump lips. I gulp and sigh in frustration. Not sensing my mood, the girl commences to undo my belt. 

“How about you f-”

My phone rings causing me to push her away. She falls back on the dirt and she gives me an incredulous look. My phone continues to ring and I stumble to redo my belt and answer the phone. 

“Hello?” I answer without checking the caller id.

“Let’s go,” Namjoon said sternly. “Hoseok hyung wants to go home.”

And he hangs up. I look at the girl and she is now standing with her arms crossed. Shit.

“Was it that girl?” She sneers. Her tone disgusted. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and I cock my head in confusion. “That girl from the museum. The one you were talking to before you started talking to me!”

“Y/N?” I say in confusion. “How do you-”

“That’s her name,” She interrupts me and she rolls her eyes. “I forgot what that freak’s name was. I haven’t seen her since graduation.”

Freak?

“What do you only mess with girls that don’t have Soulmates?” She continues and I feel my face pale. “What you didn’t know? That she doesn’t have a Mark?”

Doesn’t have a Mark?

I felt my mind go blank and then all of sudden I felt my heart ache and tears sting my eyes.

In my dreams, for some reason I have a Mar- a different Mark

“Just because she doesn’t have a Mark, she thinks she can mess around with other people’s Soul-”

“SHUT UP!” A voice booms, causing her to flinch, I whip around and Jungkook was standing around the corner, with Namjoon behind him. He had his fists clenched and I never seen so much anger and hatred in his eyes. “‘Mess with other people’s Soulmates?’”

“Says the one who was on her knees?” Jungkook continues in a calm demeanor. “Do you think he even remembers your name?”

*

She whips to look at me and I can’t even make eye contact. My mind is swirling around like crazy. She scoffs and walks away, bumping into my shoulder as she does. Once she is gone, I catch Jungkook’s hand and he tears his hand away from me. 

“Jungkook,” I gasp and he regards me with disgust that it makes me flinch. “Is it true? About Y/N’s Mark?”

“You sure know how to pick them Hyung,” Jungkook says rolling his eyes and starting to walk away towards the side exit. Namjoon stayed standing, seemingly in shock himself. I run after him, catching him on the street. 

“Jungkook,” I plead. “Plea-”

“Do you really think it’s my story to tell?” Jungkook says with frustration. 

“But you obviously know more,” I say frustrated as well. I feel the tears spill over and Jungkook stares in shock, but soon his expression hardens. 

“I promised Noona,” He says. “I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“But she told you!” I roar, making him flinch. “Why does she always tell you everything? Why is it only you she remembers!”

“Ask your precious grandfather!” Jungkook yells back. I stare at him in shock. Namjoon goes ahead and waves his hand. Jin pulls up along the curve. “I only found out because I caught her off guard. That’s how she’s been living her life: on guard. Thanks to people like your side piece.”

I felt a sense of shame and wave a fresh tears sting my eyes. Without another word, Jungkook hops into the car and leaves me standing on the sidewalk. 

“Jimin,” Namjoon says cautiously. “I know-I mean I can’t imagine what’s going through your mind right now...but this isn’t the place or the time, there’s too many eyes and ears. Too many humans.”

I look up at him and his eyes were shining and he rubs my shoulder to comfort me. I hop into the back and he follows after me. Jin, although confused, drives toward the entrance where the others are waiting. Hoseok, Yoongi and Taehyung also hop on and Taehyung turns around. I crouch with my face in my hands as Namjoon rubs my back. He looks at Namjoon with confusion and eyes also glossy. Namjoon just shakes his head and gestures for him to turn around. We head back home in another quiet drive.

*

“Have you been here before?” Minho asks as we hop out of my Jeep. I look up at the fancy building and shake my head. “Good! My friend says we have the place to ourselves, so we should have some privacy.”

I felt my face turn red in spite of me knowing that this isn’t a date. He leads me into the restaurant and he wasn’t lying, it was empty and the server was a handsome man that led us to a table in the center. This place seems a little to fancy for just a discussion. 

Once we were situated, he placed menus in front of us and I realized that the prices were not displayed and I felt my face go pale. How much do I have in my savings? 

“Don’t worry about prices,” Minho laughed at my expression. “My friend is doing me a favor.”

“It must be really expensive though,” I sheepishly said. 

“It is,” the server said. “But I’m willing to make an exception for a beautiful woman such as yourself.”

“Don’t flirt with her Ben,” Minho said rolling his eyes.

“I’m the owner,” Ben replied once he saw the confusion in my eyes. “This is a first time, Minho has brought a date here.”

“It’s not a date.” Both me and Minho said at the same time. Then we both looked away blushing while Ben laughed at us. 

“I’m just here to read some of his research,” I said fiddling with the cutlery. “Right, Professor Lee?”

“Of course, Miss L/N” Minho replied. “What do you want to drink?”

“Long Island Tea,” I replied reading something off the menu randomly. “I ate already, so I’ll just have the miso soup.”

“Right away, ma’am” Ben replied stifling a laugh. “How about you my good sir.”

“The usual,” Minho said with a slight annoyed face. 

“Alright,” Ben cheered. “Coming right up!”

And he leaves us in awkward silence. I resist the urge to pull out my cellphone and scroll through instagram, like I usually do when I want to avoid conversations.

“So you seem sort of sad,” Minho says not meeting my eyes. “Is something the matter?”

“No,” I lied, forcing a smile on my face. “So do you mind starting your.. Lecture?”

“Yea,” He sighs. “I know we didn’t start off good, and you may feel slightly uncomfortable with me, but I do want to be your friend.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I say smiling. It would be nice to have another friend. For some reason, the boys faces come into my head. I feel my smile drop and I look back down. “Do you have lots of friends?”

“I have a few,” Minho says. “Like Ben but I have mostly colleagues and coworkers.”

“Was it tough growing up?” I ask quietly, gesturing to his arm, where his Mark should have been.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” I say hesitantly. “Did you get bullied a lot for not having a Mark?”

“No, I think we have a misunderstanding here.” Minho says in shock. “I recently lost my mark, like two years ago.”

“What?”

“Yea,” He said regarding me with unreadable eyes. “Forgive me for saying, but your father never mentioned when yours disappeared?”

“It didn’t disappear,” I answered confused. “I was born without one.”

“Strange,” He muttered. “Your father clearly stated that it disappeared…which I assumed you-”

“Had one at one point,” I finished for him. “No, I don’t remember ever having one.”

“Wow,” He says softly. “I’m sorry, growing must have been a bitch.”

“It was,” I said with a bit of bitterness. “I only had one friend, I still have only one friend.”

“Oh,” Minho says. “I thought Jimin mentioned you were childhood friends?”

“We aren’t exactly friends now,” I said feeling my heart ache. 

“What about that tall guy?” Minho asked. “You guys seemed friendly?”

“Did we?” I asked cocking my head. “I’m actually thinking of putting some distance between us.”

“Why?” Minho asked incredulous. “I mean they are all adults, I’m sure that-”

“They are just here for the summer,” I say sadly. “I shouldn’t get attached. I have to protect myself.”

“I guess I could understand that much,” Minho sighs. 

“Enough about me,” I say clasping my hands. “What type of Mark did you have?”

“I don’t think you want to know,” Minho says with a smile. 

“Aww,” I said with a pout. “Please tell me, you’re the only I can ask without you asking me back.”

“Fine,” he mutters but still smiles. “It was a spider, a huntsman spider.” 

I felt my spine stiffen. Another insect Mark? But how-

“I know,” Minho said sighing. “Spiders are creepy, but it was rare.”

“Here are you drinks and your soup, madam” Ben said setting my tea down. “I hate to ask this but you are over twenty one right?”

“What?” I ask confused, already clutching my drink.

“You do know that is a alcoholic beverage right?”

“Of course I do!” I laughed, feeling my face turn red. Shit. I took a sip and despite the warning I cringed away from the drink and both Ben and Minho start to laugh. Ben started reaching for my drink but I waved his hand away. “I can drink, it’s fine.”

And just to prove my point, I took to big gulps, almost finishing half of the drink.

“Are you -”

My phone starts to ring. I quickly apologize and get up to answer it outside. 

“Noona,” Jungkook says his voice sounding tired. “I forgot my key, I’m so sorry.”

“I thought you guys were gonna be awhile..”

“Hobi-hyung got tired and said he missed you,” Jungkook says and I could hear Hoseok whining in the background. “So we came back.”

“Well,” I said sighing. “I’ll head there soon.”

“Okay,” Jungkook says. “Drive safe.”

I hang up and take a deep breath. I felt my head go a little dizzy. Oh no the alcohol.

“Everything okay?” Minho says startling me. 

“I’m really sorry,” I said sheepishly. 

“Do you need to go?” He asks and I nod. “Okay, I’ll drive you back.”

“Thanks.”

“It’s no problem.”

By the time we arrive to the cottage, the boys are all gathered on the porch. Hoseok runs up to my car with a big smile, but it disappears as soon as Minho gets off the car. Confused he runs to the other side, when I stumble out, the alcohol already making my legs feel like jelly.

“What’s wrong with you?” Yoongi asks as Hoseok supports most of my weight. I giggle in reply.

“She had a drink,” Minho answers for me holding my bag. “I can take her inside if that’s alright.”

“That’s okay,” Jin says grabbing my bag from Minho. “I can take care of her. Thanks for bringing her home.”

“Why are you drinking Noona,” Jungkook says as he hovers over me. “Especially with someone you hardly know?”

“What’s that suppose to mean?” Minho asks offended. “I’m her professor.”

“Exactly how it sounds,” Jungkook retorts. “Do professors usually drink with students?”

“Kookie!” I squeal. “Be nice! Why are you so mad?”

“It’s okay Y/N,” Minho replies giving me a warm smile. “I’ll text you later, make sure to read over the documents I gave you, there in your bag.”

“Thanks for bringing me home!” I giggle almost loosing balance. “I’ll make sure to do the reading!”

“Thank you for bringing her home safe,” Jimin says bowing deeply. 

“It’s no problem,” Minho said a bit confused with Jimin’s demeanor, but bowing back regardless. 

Once Jungkook put me on the couch, with the boys surrounding me. Jin muttering about making me hangover soup and Namjoon eyeing my tattoo. I unconsciously clutched the nearest pillow to my chest. 

“Listen,” Yoongi says pacing back and forth. “I don’t mind you drinking recreationally but you have to do it a comfortable safe environment.”

“I’m sorry,” I pouted. “I thought I ordered tea and I got embarrassed so I drink most of it before they could take it away.”

“Whose ‘they’?” Taehyung asks walking in with Jimin behind him. I quickly look away and in comes Yuki, but..

“Why are there two Yuki’s?”

“She’s wasted.” Someone says before the room spins and turns dark.

Prev / Next 

Masterlist 

[orbit-intl]

210129 KStyle Vol. 1 ― ORβIT, the 7 members are finally together. “The short time we can be together... We are enjoying it with lots of laughs.”

Vol. 1 ― ORβIT, the 7 members are finally together. “The short time we can be together... We are enjoying it with lots of laughs.”

ORβIT is a Japanese-Korean group composed of 7 unique members. They released their long-awaited debut album in November last year, to which many fans responded with enthusiastic support. 

It has almost been a year since ORβIT was formed and announced on February 9, 2020. We asked them about the steps that led to the decision of forming the group and about the reason for their career choices as an artist.

ENG TRANSLATION BY ORBIT_INTL  Source: KStyle News DO NOT RE-USE, REUPLOAD OR RE-TRANSLATE WITHOUT PERMISSION 

― The 7 of you are finally together for the first time in a long time, but how are you spending your time together? 

HEECHO: We spend our private time just relaxing together. Watching movies late at night, having deep talks. 

YOUNGHOON: We watched the movie “Midnight Runners”, it was interesting. We watch movies where we need to hold in our laughter.

YOONDONG: We watch Netflix together, but just simply being together is fun.

HEECHO: It’s been a long time since we’ve spent time together, so we try to have a fun time together. We can’t be together for a long time, so we are enjoying it with lots of laughs. 

TOMO: We made grilled chicken skewers with a special grill for it. Heecheon-san and I were the ones in charge of the grill (laughs). Other than that, Jun and I read manga often. 

JUNE: As for “Jujutsu Kaisen” and “Demon Slayer”, we even went to watch the movie and cried together. I also liked “Chainsaw Man”, which Tomo introduced me to. 

TOMO: I like the “Weekly Shonen Jump” (weekly manga anthology) type of manga, and my all-time favorite one is “Hokuto no Ken”. I’ve been re-reading it lately, and my inner child is getting excited. My favorite move is “Hokuto Shichishi Seiten” (Seven Star Points of Death). Even the sounds when the enemy loses are funny, like the famous ones “abeshi” or “hidebu”, but there’s also minor ones like “nani wo para~” (the word “what” followed gibberish), it’s the funniest. (laughs)

― You spoke at the last interview that you wanted to eat Yoondong-san’s cooking, but did that come true? 

SHUNYA: Yes, we ate it! It was so good~!

YOONDONG: I made them kimchi fried rice.

HEECHO: Wait, when? I didn’t eat any (laughs).

YOUNGHOON: When everyone left for BUGVEL’s recording, Shunya, Yoondong and I ate together.

HEECHO: We were eating takoyaki that time at the studio. I love takoyaki.

― There were some comments from overseas fans on the last interview, but are any of you studying any foreign languages? What word did you learn lately?

SHUNYA: I read Korean vocabulary books sometimes, but I watch a lot of Korean drama and I’ve been starting to understand some words that are said a lot in drama. 

HEECHO: My hands are already full from learning Japanese and I haven’t been able to learn other languages. I still need to work on my Japanese…

TOMO: But all 3 Korean members have been naturally studying Japanese, so they are very good in Japanese.

HEECHO: All the Japanese words that the members have taught me were all bad words… (laughs). 

TOMO: Hey, that’s the other way around! (laughs) I ask them to teach me Korean, but they always teach me bad words. 

HEECHO: (laughs). The world out there is dangerous these days, you need to know some strong words (laughs). 

TOMO: Other than bad words, they taught me how to say 삼겹살 주세요, which means “can I have pork belly?”

SHUNYA: (Heecho whispers something in his ear.) Just now, I learned how to say 그렇게 하면 죽도 밥도 안돼, which means “it’s going to be half-baked if you continue like this”.

TOMO: This is the type of thing they teach us (laughs). 

YUGO: 멋있지？I look cool, right? (laughs)

Everyone: Yugo is so cute~!

JUNE: The word I learned lately is “kaibyaku”. It means the beginning of the world, of time. I found it while searching for a more complicated word during the lyric writing process because the expression felt off and I thought there was another way to say it. 

HEECHO: For me, it’s “mugi to kome no nimousaku” (double cropping of rice and wheat). I learned it while studying a kanji practice book for Japanese grade school students and it left a strong impression on me. 

YOONDONG: I learned the word “kyakuashi” (customer traffic). The meaning was different from what I intended to say, but I learned the word. Is it a bad word?

TOMO: No, you can use it as “customer traffic increased, or decreased”. It’s not a bad word. 

YOUNGHOON: For me, it’s “waruagaki wo suru” (futile resistance). I resist fate in a futile way. I learned it while writing lyrics. 

What about the debut date? “I felt emotional at the CD shop… It didn’t feel real.”

― You debuted on November 11, but how does it feel like to have debuted?

HEECHO: Nothing much changed just because we debuted, but we got here as a result of pursuing what we wanted to do. That is why there wasn’t any big change, but I hope we can continue with the same mindset.

YOUNGHOON: After releasing our debut album and seeing everyone’s reactions, I thought a lot about our situation and our responsibilities and it made me feel like we need to make even better songs and show an even better version of ourselves in the future. We are preparing for our next release with utmost effort. 

― For Heecho-san, Younghoon-san, and Yoondong-san, this is your second debut. Did you give any advice to the 4 others?

HEECHO: I think it’s just a number, and there isn’t much to mind about just because it’s our second time, but there are things we can say because we have experience debuting once previously. It is the first time (for the Japanese members), so I’d like to teach them what I know. 

TOMO: I think they do have a certain emotional leeway. There were hardships until we reached our debut, but there were a lot of moments the 3 helped and cheered us up. 

YOUNGHOON: If we could do more activities, I think there is more I can teach them, but there isn’t much we can do amidst the pandemic situation… Later, when we will be able to do more, I’d like to relay more of our experience. 

― How did you spend your debut date?

YUGO: Nothing much different, we just practiced as usual.

TOMO: I think we were doing voice training.

HEECHO: The Korean members were learning choreography and practicing dance. 

YOUNGHOON: Yoondong was buying pyjamas that day (laughs).

JUNE: We were just doing lessons as usual even though it was debut date, so although I was internally excited like “today is debut date!”, I was a little bit sad that the lesson menu was hard as usual (laughs). 

SHUNYA: The Japan members had the chance to go to CD shops for greetings. I was surprised seeing that the store decorations were, very, big? It made me really happy. It didn’t feel real. 

YOUNGHOON: I saw the pictures too and it made me really happy that the shop staff wrote descriptions of our songs in so much detail. If we have the chance, I want to cook for the shop staff (laughs). 

Everyone (laughs). 

YOUNGHOON: I also read the messages from EαRTHs in the notebooks placed at the CD shops. There were a lot of messages written in hiragana so that we understand too, it made me happy. EαRTHs are really nice. 

Struggles experienced especially because they are self-produced. “Thankful for all the support from many”

― The album “00” was definitely a challenging work, like you spoke about it in the previous interview. A lot of comments from fans were sent to Kstyle too. How were the reactions from fans after the release?

Everyone: Ohh~! (Clapping)

YOUNGHOON: We’re very grateful and happy. Every song was made with a lot of attention to details, so I hope EαRTHs listen to them a lot and enjoy it.

YOONDONG: My wanting to make something better and to perfect our performances got stronger, especially because we debuted. 

― Last time, we asked you about the recording process. How were the parts separated within the songs, and how were the solo songs and unit song “Mizutamari.” (written by Yugo-kun) chosen?

HEECHO: First, we all sing equal parts and then we adjust as we sing because some members suit some parts better. I chose the parts, but nobody complained. 

SHUNYA: ORβIT’s absolute leader (laughs). Heecheon-san knows everyone’s uniqueness and attributed the parts, so it turned out really nice naturally. 

HEECHO: For me, the part I thought over the most while making the album was attributing the parts. As for the solo song and unit songs, we just went with whoever wanted to do it. 

YUGO: I thought “Mizutamari.” could be the three of us (Yoondong, Shunya, Yugo) who don’t sing chorus parts often. I attributed the parts as the writer as well. It was my first time writing lyrics and I had never thought of doing it before, but after becoming part of ORβIT, I’ve been wanting to try new things such as piano as well. It’s a memorable song for which I challenged lyric writing for the first time. The track was composed first, onto which I wrote lyrics. 

― In Younghoon-san’s song “MOONCRYSTALPOWER”, the sole Japanese part amongst the Korean lyrics was also a hot topic. Many said that it’s a very “Younghoon-san like” song. 

YOUNGHOON: I always get the comment that the phrase “yuusha no sakebi” (a hero’s scream) is very “funny”, but I meant it in a serious way (laughs). At the time, there was a manga I liked a lot and I also thought of the word “boukensha” (explorer, adventurer), but it became this in the end. The lyrics are about a hero parting ways with his friends and waiting until they come altogether, but it felt like ORβIT and EαRTHs. I thought that maybe fans will understand if I put it like this, so I wrote the lyrics like that. 

HEECHO: It’s Younghoon’s scream, in the end (laughs). 

JUNE: When Younghoon-san asked me about the lyrics, I listened to him and gave advice. Every time people tell him that the lyrics are funny, he blames it on me and says “Jun said they’re nice!” (laughs). 

YOUNGHOON: It was all good as a result! (Younghoon and Jun exchange a hard handshake)

―You released from an independent label and even produced your goods on your own, but was there anything hard during the production process?

HEECHO: There were a lot of hard things, but we don’t want to make excuses about it because it’s something we chose to do. It was hard, but I think this was a good way to do it. It’s something we were able to achieve because of the members and staff we have now. 

TOMO: We separated the tasks between the 7 of us, and Shunya thought a lot about the goods and the CD jacket art. 

SHUNYA: There are many things I was able to learn because we are self-produced. For example, there’s a lot of scheduling in order to meet deadlines for production and other small tasks too. It has made me realize that making music isn’t just about singing, but there are a lot of people behind it who support it. I am glad I was able to realize this by releasing from an independent label. 

JUNE: The 7 of us are the ones on stage, but there are a lot of people behind it that you cannot see… Our work can only be done with the support of many, so we are very grateful.

ENG TRANSLATION BY ORBIT_INTL Source: KStyle News DO NOT RE-USE, REUPLOAD OR RE-TRANSLATE WITHOUT PERMISSION

[hd-learns-korean]

Musical Mondays week 1: 위잉위잉 by 혁오 Hyukoh

안녕하세요! Hi all 🙋 I hope everyone is doing well.

Today I'm starting a new (hopefully) fortnightly section on my blog which is musical Mondays, the idea is to create study posts using the vocabulary found in the song chosen for that week. I'm actually a little nervous tbh because this will be the first time I've properly started to write a lot in Korean, so please bear with me as I am a beginner and they're probs will be a few mistakes. (Side note if you do spot my mistakes please lemme know so I can fix them 🙏 thanks.)

So with the waffle outta the way let's get cracking with this week's song!

SONG OF THE WEEK: 위잉위잉 (wi ing wi ing) by Hyukoh

MY THOUGHTS ON THE SONG: This was the first time I had heard of the band or the song, and I'm glad I got it recommend! When I'm listening to it, I can pretend I'm sat in a downtown coffee shop drinking overpriced and over-sugared coffee whilst I people watch. (Reality: people watching now consists of me holding a cheap mug of instant coffee whilst I look outta my window and rant about people walking on the street who are clearly flouting the social distancing rules!)

The song lyrics are actually pretty dark and melancholy considering the upbeat tune. I really like this song as it's totally different to what I usually listen to.

GENRE: Korean Indie

STUDY: for my study section I thought I'd do things a little differently, I've chosen the vocab from the song and created my own sample sentences. For verbs I have found the conjugations for them because I think it's important to also learn how the verb conjugates, in order to make it easier later on when using it in conversation.

VERBS:

🚶걸어가다: To walk, to go by foot:

How it's used in the song: "비틀비틀 걸어가는 나의 다리" My legs are stumbling, stumbling as I walk.

🎁 Present tense: 걸어가, 걸어가요, 걸어갑니다.

Examples: "난 커피샵에 걸어가" I walk to the coffee shop. "저는 커피샵에 걸어가요" I walk to the coffee shop (informal polite) "매일 아침에 선생님은 학교에 걸어갑니다." Every morning the teacher walks to school.

🕰️Past tense: 걸어갔어, 걸어갔어요, 걸어갔습니다.

Examples: "넌 먼 길 걸어갔어!" You walked a long way! "우유와 계란을 사에 저는 먼 길 걸어갔어요." I walked a long way when I bought milk and eggs.

🔮 Future tense: 걸어갈 거야, 걸어갈 거예요, 걸어갈 겁니다.

Examples: "야 알아! 난 주말에 운동 공원에서 걸어갈 거야!" Hey I know! I'm walking in the exercise park at the weekend. "저는 주말에 빵집에 걸어갈 거예요." I will walk to the bakery on the weekend.

🤷 Conditional tense: 걸어가겠어, 걸어가겠어요, 걸어가겠습니다.

Examples: "난 발이가 안 아팠으면, 매일에 5km 걸어가겠어." I would walk 5km everyday if my feet didn't hurt. "눈이 안 왔으면 학생은 할아버지의 집에서 학교한테 걸어가겠어요." If it doesn't snow, the student will walk to school from his grandfather's house.

⏳흘러가다: to pass, to go by, elapse:

How it's used in the song: "오늘도 의미없는 또 하루가 흘러가죠" Another meaningless day goes by today.

🎁 Present tense: 흘러가, 흘러가요, 흘러갑니다.

🕰️ Past tense: 흘러갔어, 흘러갔어요, 흘러갔습니다.

Examples: 

"어제 시간이 빨리 흘러갔어요!" Time flew by yesterday!

🔮 Future tense: 흘러갈 거야, 흘러갈 거예요, 흘러갈 겁니다.

Examples: "시험 다음 주에 빨리 흘러갈 거예요. 걱정하지 마요." The test will go by quickly next week. Don't worry about it.

⛪🙏믿다: To believe, trust, believe in, give credit

How it's used in the song: "사랑도 끼리끼리 하는거라 믿는 나는." Love is just for those who are all the same.

🎁 Present tense: 믿어, 믿어요, 믿습니다.

Examples: "난 널 안 믿어!" I don't believe you! "저는 외계인 있다 믿어요!" I believe there are aliens!

🕰️ Past tense: 믿었어, 믿었어요, 믿었습니다

🔮 Future tense: 믿을 거야, 믿을 거예요, 믿을 겁니다.

🧐 inquisitive tense: 믿어? , 믿어요? , 믿습니까?

Examples: "하! 넌 진짜 그 남자의 거짓말 믿어? 그 남자는 정말 바람둥이야!" Ha! Do you really believe that man's lies? He's such a player! (flirt) "신이 믿어요?" Do you believe in God?

🤭 비웃다: To laugh at, mock, ridicule, sneer, make fun of:

How it's used in the song: "처량한 나를 비웃듯이 멀리 날아죠." It flies away as if laughing at my sadness."

🎁 Present tense: 비웃어, 비웃어요, 비웃습니다

🕰️ Past tense: 비웃어요, 비웃었어요, 비웃었습니다.

🔮Future tense: 비웃을 거야, 비웃을 거예요, 비웃을 겁니다.

➡️Nominal "-ing": 비웃음

Example: "비웃음 하지 마!" Stop mocking me! Don't laugh at me!

💯 좋다: To be good

How it's used in the song: "차라리 듣지 못한 편이 내겐 좋을거야." The side I have heard would be better for me. "차라리 보니 못한 편이 내겐 좋을거야." The side I have seen would be better for me.

🎁 Present tense: 좋아, 좋아요, 좋습니다.

Examples: "와 수진아! 만든 음식이 진짜 좋아!" Wow Sujin! I love the food you made! "이 영화는 좋아요" I like this movie.

🕰️ Past tense: 좋았어, 좋았어요, 좋았습니다

🔮 Future tense: 좋을 거야, 좋을 거예요, 좋을 겁니다.

Examples: "보는 그 영화를 것 같은 좋을 거예요." It would be nice to watch that movie.

🤷 conditional tense: 좋겠어, 좋겠어요, 좋겠습니다.

📖 side note: when 좋다 is used in the conditional tense it gives the meaning of "I wish..." It would be good if.....

Examples: "크리스마스 아침에서 눈이 온을 좋겠어!" I wish it snows on Christmas morning! (I'm not too sure if this sentence I've written is correct, I'm slightly struggling with choosing the correct conjugation for "it to snow" do I use "온는? 왔?" If somebody could tell me I'd be so happy!)

💩🙅 못하다: 1.) To be bad at, poor at, be weak in. 2.) Cannot, be unable to, impossible.

How it's used in the song: "듣지 못한" I can't listen, "보지 못한" I can't see.

📖 Side note: -지 못하다 cannot. -ㄹ 못하다 bad at

🎁 Present tense: 못하, 못해요, 못합니다.

Examples: "저는 요리해를 못해요." I can't cook.

🕰️ Past tense: 못했어, 못했어요, 못했습니다.

Examples: "이 남자는 노래를 못했어요." This guy couldn't sing.

🔮 Future tense: 못할 거야, 못할 거예요, 못할 겁니다.

Examples: "왜 주말에 공원에서 넌 운동이 못할 거야?" Why can't you exercise in the park at the weekend?

🙈덮다: To cover (sth with sth), close shut:

How it's used in the song: "눈물이 언젠가는 이세상을 덮을거야." My falling tears will someday cover this world.

🎁 Present tense: 덮어, 덮어요, 덮습니다

🕰️ Past tense: 덮었, 덮었어요, 덮었습니다.

Examples: "이 아침에 너무 처웠어요, 그래서 저는 이불을 덮었어요." It was cold this morning, so I covered myself with a blanket.

NOUNS:

🤸 다리: Legs

How it's used in the song: "비틀비틀 걸어가는 나의 다리" My legs are stumbling, stumbling as I walk.

Examples: "와! 그 배우의는 다리가 진짜 길어다!" Wow! The actor has really long legs!

🌎 세상: World

How it's used in the song: "비잉비잉 돌아가는 세상도 나를 비웃듯이 계속 꿈틀대죠." Bing Bing, the world spins. It squirms as of it's laughing at me too.

Examples: "어머 왜 이세상에? 넌 뭐 해야!" Oh my God! What are you doing? (What in the world/ what on earth are you doing?)

🚇 지하철: Subway

How it's used in the song: " 사람들 북적대는 출근길의 지하철엔" In the subway filled with busy people on their way to work.

💁 모습: Figure/ form/ image/ reflection/ features/ appearance.

How it's used in the song: " "내 모습 너무 초라해서 정말 죄송하죠." I'm so sorry that I'm so pathetic. (I'm so sorry for my pathetic appearance)

Examples (I found on naver) :

단아한 모습 a graceful figure, 아버지의 모습을 닮다 to look like one's own father, 처량한 모습 a lonesome/ wretched look.

🤕 상처: Wound

How it's used in the song: "상처난 내 마음을 어머니는 못헐거야." Can't do anything about my scarred heart!

📖 Side note: when 상처 is used with -를 입다 it means "To get injured".

Examples found off naver: 가벼운 상처 minor injury, 깊은 상처 deep wound, 오래된 상처 old wound.

Examples: "야! 하지마! 넌 상철 입을거야!" Hey don't! You'll get hurt! "저기어! 조심하습니다! 아저씨는 상처를 입을 겁니다!" Excuse me, Mr! Be careful! You'll get hurt!

ADVERBS:

😴 뒹굴뒹굴: Rattle around in, roll around in, someone with nothing to do, idle away.

How it's used in the song: "집에서 뒹굴뒹굴 할 일없어 빈둥대는" Rolling around at home, lying around with nothing to do.

👯 끼리끼리 : In groups, in pairs, by twos and threes.

How it's used in the song: "사랑도 끼리끼리 하는거라 믿는 나는" love is just for those that are all the same.

Examples: "사람들은 끼리끼리 이야기 있다." People talk among themselves. "4 명 가수들은 끼리끼리 아름다운 노래했어요." Four singers sang beautiful songs together.

There we go everyone! The end of this week's musical study session! I hope you enjoyed reading it and find it useful. Be warned though I'm a total newbie to writing a lot in Korean so there will be some mistakes even though I checked the translations using papago and naver. I found the lyrics for this song on genius.com. For the conjugations I found them on koreanverb.app, and Wiktionary, also on Naver.

I don't own the rights to the song, all credit should go to the original artist. I've just use the song as a source for study material 🙂.

Also Side side note! Uggh I’ve had so many technical problems today! It’s only taken me 5hrs to write this lol! :D

If you want me to create a study post from a song you like just give me a message and I'll see what I can do! 💃

Thanks everyone and I hope you have a good week ahead! x

[queenharumiura]

Space explorers Vasco and Kajika~

Send me a ship and I will grade it: ||Still accepting||((//sweats sorry for being late with this one @heromanvasco @wild-untamed-heart))

-

C: Not a bad ship

Alright, so I will preface thiswith, it’s been a while since I got into Lookism. After webtoons took it overand they changed the names (probably for legal reasons), I just--- could not doit. It did anger me for one thing, but it’s also just--- we know me… with names…memorizing them.

I would have to go back fromthe beginning and reintroduce myself to all of the characters and memorize theirnew names. I’m pretty sure they changed all the names, even the minorcharacters, so it’s just like—oh no. The nickname ‘Vasco’ remained the same ifI recall, however.

Anyways, the reason why I’mprefacing with this is—I’m working with dated information here. I’m sure sincethe last time I read there has been a lot of character development. I’m goingoff what I currently know of him. I’ll get back to Lookism… eventually;;;;

ALRIGHT, ONWARDS!

I honestly think that they wouldn’t be too bad together?Certainly, they are good friends and we’ve already established this in thread form.Vasco is pretty fair towards other people—once he gets into the correctmindset. Admittedly, he does have a bit of a negative bias towards attractivepeople. He got… bullied a lot in his younger years.

‘Bullied’ is putting it lightly, considering he has scars fromit. Not only emotional ones, but actual physical scars. That’s why he’s sotatted up, to hide the scars that were given to him. Even scars… is putting it lightlyin my opinion, since it’s not as simple as scars. It’s like… graffiti, but onthe body. The tattoos hide them, so he can be less ashamed of it.

From this, he formed a phobia of needles. The tattooing wasto help him get over it. I’m sure there’s still a bit of nervousness thatremains from needles as it highly relates to the bullying. This is something thathad such a deep impact on his life. He has a negative bias towards attractivepeople (the one who bullied him), he absolutely DETESTS bullies, and he vowedto become stronger as to not get bullied again.

He has a lot of pride in himself for how far he’s come. He’salways loved Superheroes from a very young age. It isn’t like he came to likethem after the bullying thing. Nah. He’s always loved them and he’s alwayslooked up to them. To him, heroes are such a big part of his life. Inparticular, ‘Heroman,’ whose real name is Vasco.

Taking this identity onto himself, he’s mostly called ‘Vasco’rather than ‘Euntae’ which is his real name. I’m sure the Webtoon gave him adifferent true name, but I don’t know it.

He may have a bit of a poker face, but he’s actually areally big SOFT BEAN. He’s truly a GOOD BOI tm. I absolutely adore him and Icry for him. I feel like once I re-read the series, I’ll skip the entirety ofhis past arc bc I cannot watch as my baby gets BULLIED.

Anyways, Vasco does have a prejudice against good lookingpeople, but he’s not blindly prejudiced. If he sees that they aren’t like oneof those good-looking people, he’s quite willing to befriend them. Thisis the case with the main character Hyunsuk (I think it’s Daniel in webtoon?).He thought that Hyunsuk was bullying students, and Vasco challenged him. Turnsout, he’s not a bully, and he was trying to help people.

From what I know (unless things have changed), they becamereally good friends. I think it’s somewhat of a conditioned response for him tobe initially distrustful of good-looking people due to what he went through. However,his attitude towards justice and his general ‘good boy’ nature prevents himfrom blindly hating people based on their looks. If they are good people, hewill like them.

He loves to drink strawberry milk and he’s just—so---precious. He will give milk boxes to people that he likes/approves of. Hyunsukbeing one of such people. It’s like a part of him being shy and what not.

Going back to that—HE IS VERY SHY BOI. He’s very awkward andhe’s not very confident, though he may appear that way at first. He’s confidentin his strength, that’s for sure. He’s full of confidence in himself, but onceit comes down to--- his… uh… intelligence… or social-awareness… he’s um…lacking… a bit to put it gently;;;; I will say that he’s aware of it himself. I’mnot just saying it. When asked: if you could have a wish granted, what would itbe? Paraphrasing, his answer was: “I want people to stop calling me stupid.”Which basically is a ‘I want to be smart’.

Basically, he can be a big idiot sometimes and it’s—a lil endearingto be honest. He’s also just not sure of what to do around other people. Whathe may think is fun or cool, others may not feel the same way. He’s easilyamused and very emotional. Being given a rock can have him almost shed tears. (hewas told that it was a lucky rock passed down through generations.)

He’s very dense and very gullible, essentially. He also isn’tvery aware of his own strength, so he could totally launch someone out thedoor, across the room by playing pillow fight. That’s why he’s not allowed toplay along. 8( His best friend usually tells him to join in though, much toeveryone’s horror. Not to go too far into the backstory relating to the bestfriend… this guy really serves as Vasco’s emotional support and ‘is thissocially okay? Can I do the thing? Can I join the pillow fight? If I do this,would it be cool? Is it lame if I do this?’- support.

He often asks his friend for a lot of advice on many thingsas he doesn’t know what is ‘right’ or ‘cool’. His friend is so lenient on himthough and lets him get away with a lot of stuff. Like, it makes you happy? Gofor it! I’ll support you bud! I’ll have fun with you! You want to dress up inthose blow up costumes that make you look like you’re riding on a dinosaur? Youwant our entire department to dress up as that for the school competition---?Uh… okay, I’ll get them to agree.

Get you a friend like him.

Anyways, this illustrates the fact that Vasco is very--- insecure.ESPECIALLY around girls. Most girls run in fear around him. A common thing isfor him to shed a tear once anyone runs away from him. He may look scary but heis GOOD BOI. So, he’s so tender hearted and it breaks my heart to see peoplerun from him, or assume he’s bad.

Kajika, being more open minded and accepting, would be agood influence on him. He can befriend her and learn that not all girls willrun in fear of him. OTL She has a cool and outgoing personality, so I’m sure he’dlook to her as a ‘cool person’. Don’t be surprised if he randomly comes to asklike ‘hey, is this app cool? Are a lot of people playing it?’

That being said, he’s really not too big on social media andwhat not. He just wants to have fun and have a taste of what other people aredoing to have fun. He’s not exactly a person who chases after trends orwhatever. It’s a very common thing in Korean culture to chase after trends andwhat not, but he’s not quite like that.

So, I think that Kajika would be a great influence on him.Have him learn how to be more secure in himself, and to have more confidence inhis likes. Teach him to not be so tense around girls. He doesn’t walk like arobot in front of Kajika, so that’s an improvement.

The Vday and Wday events that goes on helps reinforce the ideathat they are friends and that she’s not afraid of him. I’m honestly not reallysure what impact Vasco could have on Kajika, really. He’s relatively calm in general,but when he’s around friends, he just turns into an excitable puppy. I feellike, there isn’t really much she could gain from him, which contrasts him.

He can learn how to be more confident; he can learn how tofeel more secure about himself, and he can learn how to be more comfortablearound girls.

It’s not like you NEED to be able to gain something in yourSO, but I do think it helps in most cases. I guess if anything, they are comfortablewith each other. I personally feel their dynamic works best as friends, but Idon’t think them as a couple would be a bad idea by any means.

Vasco is a VERY LOYAL person, and I’m sure that Kajika isthe same. Both are very dedicated to their friends, and I’m pretty sure theyboth have a strong sense of justice? They share a lot of common traits, and Ithink that’s something that’s crucial for a relationship they’d share.

They don’t contrast to the point that they would touch uponeach other’s landmines, I think. I guess it would be one of those ships whereit’s bestfriends àlovers.

Did anything change at all? No. I thought something wassupposed to change? What are you going to change then? No idea. Tell me whenyou think of something.

That’s pretty much them, I think.

Though, Vasco does get a lil hung up on how things shouldbe, so I can see him trying to study up on how to be a boyfriend. Reading up onhow to be romantic or whatever. I’m sure if they did start dating, there wouldbe an odd transition period for him bc he’s trying to figure out what to do andwhat works best. Lol

If Kajika prefers him being the same ol’ Vasco, she just needsto say so, and he’d do it.

They’d be the type that wouldn’t change much in arelationship, I think. Kajika, from what I vaguely recall, is a free spirit. Idon’t think she’s very tied down to many material aspects like riches, societyranks, etc. She really loves the beauty of nature and exploring.

I honestly don’t remember that she was really very swayed bymany romantic situations. Based off the vibe I get, I think she’d be moreimpressed by sentimental things, or nature than she would anything showy. That reallywould play well into Vasco, since he doesn’t really do well with ‘showy’things. He’s more of a sentimental bean than anything, so I think he’d havethat covered.

They’d have a comfortable relationship for the most part, Ithink. Of course, I don’t know what current Vasco is like so who knows if I’mreally right anymore, lol. Still, this is based off what I last remember ofwhere I left off. So that’s my verdict based off what I remember.

I also gave the rating I did since I don’t think it’s fairfor me to give anything too high or low when I’m not caught up with the ‘Lookism’series. Kek.

Hope you enjoyed!

[juminsmysticmc]

Hi can i have a request :RFA +V+Saeran react to Mc when they find out she's just 17-18 yrs and she helped them go through a lot of complicated problem in their route and she doesn't seem like teenager and it makes them shocked?. Like u know, all the issues in MM is like related to serious problem like suicide, abusive, adult life, etc... and it needs the help of professional people ,like adult with lots of experience in life (because seriously, not everyday we deal with those things irl)

RFA + Minor Duo who find out that MC is a Teenager 

Yes of course! Haha, I think their reaction would be really funny to see….mhh, let’s overlook that Jumin/ Jihyun are almost 30 and the MC is 17-18, yes? But here you are! 

Jumin ( international age: 26/ korean age: 27)

When he opened and saw your face, his smile got bigger. 

,,Please enter.’’ he told you.

He always assumed that you were 25 or older. 

Your help while the RFA was in crisis helped him a lot, you had to go through a lot in your past, he guessed. 

While he proposed to you he thought about how much you helped him, what you went through with him. 

He was amazed by you. 

,,Yes, I want to marry you too!’’ you told him and made him really happy. 

,,Let’s marry immediately!’’ he was overjoyed. 

,,Huh? Sorry, I think that’s not possible….’’ you told him and giggled. 

Jumin looked at you. 

,,I’m still 17.’’ you confessed. 

His wine glass fell down…

,,Your international age isn’t -‚‘’ 

,,That’s my korean age.’’ you told him. 

His face lost all its colors. 

He was going through hardships with a 17 years old girl? A woman who was 10 years younger than him helped him through troubles….

Jumin was shocked but he was still in love with you. 

,,I feel like my dad…’’ he confessed.

,,I’m going out with a younger woman than me…..10 years….’’ he sighted. 

,,That’s okay because I’m not like your dad’s girlfriends and you’re not your dad…..we overcame so much….this won’t be that hard!’’ you gave him courage, once again. 

Zen ( international age: 23/ korean age: 24)

,,Nice to meet you!’’ he smiled when he saw you. 

,,Hiii!’’ you greeted him and smiled brightly at him. 

The evening you spend with Zen was amazing. 

That night he told you so much and you helped him so much. 

Even when the two of you moved in together and his parents rejected him, you helped him to not break down. 

When the time finally came and his parents were okay with it to meet him, he brought you along. 

Still, everyone noticed that his parents hated the situation. 

,,Miss…..Mc…how old are you if I’m allowed to ask you.’’ his dad asked you. 

You brightly smiled at him and gave him a nod. 

,,My international age is 18 so I’m 19.’’ you explained. 

,,Ugh!’’ Zen choked when he heard that and looked at you with a surprised expression. 

,,You’re really young….’’ his mom told you. 

When the two of you were alone again, Zen was still shocked. 

,,I…..I…..I’m a perverted….’’ he whined and walked up and down. 

,,You know that we’re only 5 years apart?’’ you asked him. 

,,Yes but we became a couple when you were….oh god! The things this Unknown did to you! Are you okay?!’’ Zen panicked but then you slapped his cheeks with your hands and cupped his now red cheeks. 

,,I love you and I’m okay.’’ you told him firm. 

,,Oh jagi….you’re such an adult….you make me feel childish!’’

Yoosung ( international age: 20/ korean age: 21)

,,I think I already saw you…..’’ Yoosung told you when he met you. 

,,Yes! I’m happy you recognized me, sunbae!’’ you smiled at him. 

,,Sunbae…? OH!’’ then he remembered. 

,,Are you perhaps the Mc from my campus?!’’ he asked you in a trembling voice. 

,,Yeah! I’m so lucky! I met you finally!’’ 

,,Oh!! I was such a bad example…and I’m so childish in front of you!’’ he whined once again. 

,,But you’re really sweet! And you can cook! It all looked yummy!’’ you couranged him. 

,,And I let you go through so much! Ohh! I’m so sorry!’’ he excused himself. 

But you kept laughing and hugged him. 

,,You were a great example….I always admired you! Really!’’ you confessed. 

,,You look so much older…and you’re so intelligent….I’m really happy!’’ your now boyfriend blushed. 

Jaehee ( international age: 25/ korean age: 26)

When she gave you the key, she was the most happiest woman in the world. 

To be honest, the two of you moved together quickly and also slept together…. 

And you would lie if you would say, that the two of you stayed calm in the romantic nighty atmosphere…. 

The two of you made….naughty things…. 

But you were really concerned…..you were still a student, you didn’t have any money and no time… 

You had to study and work in the coffee shop… 

,,I need to tell her….’’ you mumbled. 

,,What do you need to tell me?’’ she asked you with her beautiful smile. 

You got pale. 

,,Hey…is everything alright?’’ she asked you. 

,,Well….’’ you mumbled. 

,,WHAT?!’’ Jaehee yelled when she found out that you were 17 years old. 

,,But that’s my international age! In korea I’m 18!!’’ you defended yourself. 

,,MC! You’re still a student! I let you buy a coffee shop! You have to study!’’ she argued with you. 

,,I will work part time at Jumin’s company!’’ you cried. 

,,Mc! You have to go to school! And study! You would overwork yourself with the coffee shop and Jumin!’’ Jaehee told you. 

,,Okay! I was working with you and you didn’t know that I’m a student and that young!’’ you told her. 

,,Yeah! In vacation!’’ Jaehee argued with you. 

,,Yeah….I will still help you after school….’’ you told her. 

Jaehee was still angry at you but stopped. 

She helped you with school and tried to manage the shop by herself. 

Luckily Jumin wasn’t the kind of man who held resentment for too long and helped you out. 

Saeyoung ( international age: 21/ korean age: 22)

,,Mhh….’’ he looked at you file. 

He just couldn’t find anything about you. 

Only a picture. 

And you looked older. 

When he moved in Rika’s apartment he didn’t even care to ask you. 

And when the two went out to search Saeran, his twin brother, he didn’t thought about asking you. 

But later on, when everything calmed down, he asked you. 

,,You’re older, right? Right?’’ he looked at you. 

,,Well….’’ you mumbled and blushed. 

,,I’m 17….’’ you told him. 

Saeyoung didn’t react. 

For a few hours he stayed silent. 

,,Saeyoung…’’ you called him. 

,,Where are your parents? You should go back.’’ he asked you. 

,,Died.’’ you told him. 

,,Who cares for you?’’ he asked you. 

,,Someone who isn’t nice to me.’’ you responded and went on your knees and bowed your head. 

,,I beg you, please let me stay.’’ you sobbed. 

Saeyoung looked at you. His eyes looked sad and full with love. 

,,I-‚‘’ but you stopped him. 

,,Think about it. We’re the same. Jihyun took you in when you were younger….you were also alone. And besided, I look older and I’m not childish….’’ you told him.

,,Yeah, he took me in. Look what happened to me. Jiyhun died, Jumin is alone, Yoosung lost his cousin, my brother got brain washed and….I put you into danger…’’ 

He looked at you. 

,,Please, go…..’’ he was now crying. 

,,Ok….but I’m not going because you asked me. But because you’re crying and you’re in pain…that’s why. I love you…and I will come back….’’ you promised him. 

Saeran ( international age: 21/ korean age: 22)

He knew everything about you. 

Except for your age. 

But he didn’t care. 

But later on he asked you. 

,,When’s your birthday?’’ you smiled at you. 

And you gave him the date…. 

,,2001….2001?!’’ he yelled and you nod. 

,,Shit….!’’ he screamed and disappeared into the kitchen. 

,,Seriously?!’’ he asked you again. 

,,Y-yeah…’’ you told him of course, you showed him no fear.

,,I can’t believe it. I….I’m a monster…I kidnapped a 17 years old girl, didn’t feed her, hurt her and put her in danger and she…?! She helped me and protected me as if she was the adult one…..’’ he yelled and slapped the door. 

,,Shit!’’ he yelled once more but then you hugged him. 

,,It’s okay…you’re not a monster….it’s not your fault…I’m okay…everything is okay….okay?’’ you asked him with your big eyes. 

Saeran looked at you, his tears fell on your face. 

,,Okay….’’ he whispered. 

Jihyun ( international age: 26/ korean age: 27)

,,Oh! Aren’t you the daughter of the big company….? Mc, right?’’ a man asked you at Jihyun’s exhibition 

,,Yeah….I am’’ you responded with a forced smile. 

,,Amazing! How old are you now, 20?’’ he asked you. 

Jihyun’s eyes got bigger. 

,,Yes.’’ you answered honestly. 

When the two of you got home, he asked you to explain. 

,,Yes, I’m 20.’’ you told him. 

,,Then..back then, three years ago when I was 27…..you were 17?’’ he asked you. 

,,Yes.’’ you told him again. 

Jihyun didn’t answer. 

He wasn’t the type to yell or do anything. 

,,Mc….why didn’t you tell us?’’ he asked you. 

,,Excuse me, can you tell me the difference between telling you and not?’’ you told him and crossed your arms. 

,,Shit.’’ Jihyun thought ,,She’s so adult…that’s  why none guessed.’’ 

,,Right. Even if I would have told you….my age would have been a burden to you.’’

,,Yes but you were in danger.’’ he told you. 

Just thinking about how burdensome it must have been….experiencing Saeran’s death after he cared so much for you, Rika’s behavior and his actions….

,,Everything worked out. I still could grew up. I still found a job.’’ you smiled at him and kissed his lips. 

,,Don’t be worried….it’s okay.’’ you assured him. 

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