#Hey Melissa

[aliceisaperson]

Oh the urge to write a whole analysis on Hey Melissa because I’m so tired of people misunderstanding it

[zyozzz]

some hatchetfield texposts i made cause i'm board af (haha smosh reference) (they're mostly the nerds)

[atoneofconscious]

Onion Headlines in Hatchetfield

[eldritch-ace]

Coming out as a Hey, Melissa! defender, she’s just girlie pop and I think catboy Paul and dogboy Ted are great additions to the lore ✌️🐈💖

[teranobriss]

Jon Matteson breaking into laughter is my favorite genre

[cartoonchaos]

paulkins really is perfect bisexual representation because from the outside they seem like the most normal couple on earth but separate them and one evolves into a crotchety lesbian pot farmer and the other becomes a full time submissive catboy. also the world usually ends before they ever get the chance to truly understand their love for each other. also in the one timeline where they make it past the awkward flirting stage and get married, their love is only able to flourish when they themselves are the earth-shattering twist, revealing to each other just how abnormal they are, and how perfect they fit in each other’s arms. did i mention the catboy thing

[urlocal-cryptid7]

Hey Melissa(!) ass meme

[biggest-hatchetfield-freak]

Well well well, we have a winner. According to the Tumblr fanbase, the biggest freak in all of Hatchetfield in none other than the myth, the legend, the girl who chops men's fingers off and forces them to pretend to be dogs, Melissa no-last-name.

[owchie-wowchie]

I don't think Hey Melissa is that bad. Yes, it's disturbing but that's kinda the point of horror. It's meant to be disturbing and unsettling and make you uncomfortable. I think it's some of the best actual horror we've got in the series. Up until that point, we only got really sprinklings of scary shit: Wiggly and Nibbly's true forms, whatever Pokey's doing all of the time, Sam ripping Charlotte's guts out, etc. Nothing was ever totally scary the entire time but Hey Melissa was. If it genuinely just made you super uncomfortable, that's completely fine, not all horror is for everyone and you have a right to feel however you feel. I, personally, just enjoy it.

[soupdwelling]

this comment on the npmd livestream is so fucked up actually

[hilacopter]

Starkid looked at The Individual Who Was Unfond of Musical Theatre and said yes but what if he had clones on the moon and got stockholm syndrome'd into being a cat. They really said put that guy in a situation.

[samscorch]

The discord server hated this one so I gotta inflict it on yall too

[thelightwillbreakthrough]

happy international women’s day to all my favorite ladies including: baristas who love weed, incredibly stressed out office workers, cult leading karens, psychic autistic tweens, girls who hate their retail jobs, nurses who have killed two people, alt girls down bad for tiny nerds, sex-obsessed lighting techs, deeply unhinged fundamentalists, executive assistants who moonlight as serial killers, ghosts possessing their husband’s cars, camp counselors with dark secrets, serial-killing Boy Moms(TM), retro diner owning witches, and british nobles who are secretly monsterfuckers.

[piptoost]

And we all know the saying! Men are from Mars, you murdered your wife!

😟

[penguin-scribbles]

Melissa, the original Human Pet Guy

[teranobriss]

Honestly, kudos to Mariah for being able to deliver her lines so smoothly while Joey was jumping around shirtless and barking in one panel and Jon was leaning over Nick's microphone and meowing at her in another