#Hes the textbook definition of short king

[lu-lus-dicks]

In these screenshots, we can see Lucifer is around neck-height of charlie (without the hat). Which means, assuming charlie is around the same height in this portrait...

This man is TINY. He's barely half of Liliths height. He's not standing on a stool, he's standing on a goddamn ladder. He's a little cutie

[room-surprise]

Dungeon Meshi is about Kabru trying to solve The Trolly Problem. The dungeon is the trolly, and Laios is the switch (and also the victim.)

Please note that this post isn't for or against any ship, I'm simply trying to explain what actually happens in canon, as opposed to the funny memes that people like to joke about. EDIT: Because of some comments I've received: I am not saying Laios is a bad person, that he'll be a bad king, or that Kabru hates him or thinks he's a bad person!

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I've seen people describe what happens between Kabru and Laios in Dungeon Meshi as either "playing yaoi mind chess/tennis" or "one guy is playing chess and the other guy is eating the pieces, and the chess player doesn't understand why he's losing", however, I don't think EITHER of those things come even remotely close to what happens in Dungeon Meshi.

A chess game is being played, and Kabru is involved, but Laios is a pawn, not a player.

The dungeon on the island, and the island itself, has been fought over by the western elven empire and the eastern dwarves/gnomes for a very long time. The fact that the region is currently at peace is an anomaly, the normal state has been war, most likely for thousands and thousands of years, since the time of the Ancients.

That is because the northwestern corner of the Eastern Continent is the border region between the elves and the dwarves/gnomes and that is why there is a solid line of dungeons dividing the world there. The dungeons are essentially evidence of ancient trench warfare between the opposing groups.

The elves have been trying to invade the east, and the dwarves/gnomes have been trying to keep them out.

In order to stop fighting endless wars over this border, the elves and the dwarves/gnomes have allowed the short-lived races to rule the area, rather than try to claim it for themselves, or allow their enemy to claim it. The island/Golden Kingdom is a textbook definition of a buffer state.

The dwarves/gnomes broke that peace by attacking the Golden Kingdom a thousand years ago, but they failed to conquer the land. The Golden Kingdom vanished, and all that was left behind was the island. The elves assigned governorship of the island to a tall-man family, and the elves and the dwarves/gnomes have been at peace since then.

Six years before the story of Dungeon Meshi begins, an entrance to a dungeon opened on the island, and now the two long-lived groups are interested in taking the island back again, to regain control of the dungeon.

The people of the Golden Kingdom and the orcs are the two local groups that live on the island. There's also the non-local dungeon industry people who live there, a lot of poor people with weapons that are trying to get rich quick by exploiting the dungeon. In other words, adventurers with weapons and nothing to lose.

But what these three groups might want doesn't really matter to the long-lived races. The elves are planning to take back control of the island, and the dwarves/gnomes are preparing to go to war to stop them from doing so.

Kabru is playing chess with them, the elves, the dwarves and the gnomes, to try and place a tall-man figurehead in control of the dungeon. Laios doesn't even know that a chess game is being played, and that he's involved in it. He just wants to help the orcs and the people of the Golden Kingdom, but he doesn't want to be king, and his goals are completely unrelated from everything Kabru is trying to accomplish.

That means Kabru and Laios are not playing a game against each other.

(Spoilers for the rest of Dungeon Meshi beneath the cut)

Kui introduces Kabru as if he were a rival to Laios as a red herring, so that readers worry that this scary guy who is very good at killing people might be coming after Laios and his party.

But that never happens, because he isn't actually Laios' rival or his competition, because they don't want the same things.

Laios wants to save Falin, and, if possible, find a way to live in the dungeon for the rest of his life, like Senshi does, so he can be around monsters and away from human society. He doesn't know that this is impossible until maybe the last dozen chapters of the manga. He believes this is the solution he has been searching for, a way for him to finally be happy.

It's impossible because if dungeons are allowed to continue existing, they will eventually cause the end of the world. Can't keep living peacefully in the dungeon if the world ends and you're dead.

(takes a deep breath)

Kabru wants to make sure the dungeon doesn't collapse and overflow with monsters that will massacre the people on the surface. In his ideal world, all monsters would be extinct. This isn't a rational or feasible goal, and Kabru probably isn't actively pursuing it because he knows it's unrealistic, but all monsters being gone forever is what Kabru wants in his heart.

So a dungeon ruled by someone who wants there to be as many monsters as possible is Kabru's worst nightmare, because it is like a nuclear reactor just waiting to have a meltdown.

Once he learns about Laios' monster obsession, Kabru is afraid such a meltdown is exactly what will happen if Laios conquers the dungeon, even though Laios isn't a bad person. He's afraid Laios' inherent nature will cause a catastrophe.

The obvious solution is to kill Laios to prevent him from getting further involved, but this is incompatible with Kabru's morals. He's willing to kill people, but only if he judges them deserving of death. Laios is weird and antisocial, but he's not malicious or immoral. It would be wrong to kill him, even if doing so potentially could save many lives.

But to complicate matters further, Kabru also has an additional goal: He wants a tall-man to take control the dungeon for political reasons.

Because this hypothetical tall-man will have control over a dungeon, Kabru hopes they will gain the knowledge of how and why the dungeons are so valuable to the long-lived races, and this knowledge will give the tall-man country the power they need to interact on an equal level with the long-lived races, something that currently doesn't happen.

When the world leaders discuss what to do in Dungeon Meshi, only elves, dwarves and gnomes are present. No other races are involved in the conversation.

Kabru wants a tall-man ruled kingdom to be a part of deciding global policy, something they are currently denied.

Kabru does not care who the tall-man who conquers the dungeon is, he originally wanted to do it himself, but he realized that he was very bad at exploring the dungeon, and so he began searching for anyone who could do it for him. Whoever conquers the dungeon, Kabru intends to place himself near them and find a way to control what they do, or even replace them with himself or someone else who he finds more suitable, if necessary.

Kabru decides to push Laios to conquer the dungeon not because he thinks Laios will do a good job (he doubts it up till the very last chapter of the manga, and he's constantly afraid of what Laios' monster obsession will lead to), but because Laios is the only option Kabru has left, and he has run out of time.

The elves have arrived and they are trying to claim the dungeon for themselves. The dwarves/gnomes are preparing for war with the elves to resume.

Kabru clearly expresses that he is only pushing Laios to conquer the dungeon as a temporary solution, and that he will figure out what to do with Laios later, once the threat of the long-lived races is over.

Meanwhile: Laios does not want to rule a dungeon, an island, or a country.

He ran away from home to avoid having to run a small village, and though he wants to help Yaad, the people of Merini and the orcs, he does not want to be king. He's hoping that he can somehow help them and leave afterwards.

Laios doesn't pay attention to politics until the orcs and then Yaad make him start thinking about them. He most likely has never thought about global politics, and has never imagined a world where tall-men hold power outside of small, rural kingdoms with no international influence. For most ordinary people, such ideas would probably seem revolutionary, crazy and impossible.

At the end of the manga, the island has suddenly lost its primary value (the dungeon). It is no longer essential for the long-lived races to immediately control it. They can wait and see what happens next, if the dungeon is going to come back or not, and make their next move whenever it suits them.

Laios becomes king because he is the only person that all the groups involved can agree upon. Allowing a tall-man to rule is just a return to the status quo of the past, which the long-lived races were happy with for a long time.

Most likely the long-lived races think that Laios is no better and no worse than any other random tall-man they could allow to rule the territory. They would have been equally happy with the old governor, or Yaad, or anyone else. The only benefit of choosing Laios is that they don't have to force the Golden Kingdom, the orcs, or the huge amount of armed adventurers who have suddenly become unemployed (and probably outnumber the elves and the dwarves/gnomes) to accept him.

They want to keep the mob pacified, and themselves out of a war.

But none of this is because anyone aside from Yaad and the orcs, and a few random adventurers think that Laios is particularly wonderful. Yaad believes in a false prophecy that says Laios should be king, and the orcs believe that Laios is the only potential ruler that won't eventually carry out a genocide against them, so of course they support making him king.

(It is, apparently, considered normal for humans of all races to kill orcs on sight, so Laios' revolutionary new policy of "leaving the orcs alone" obviously makes him popular with the orcs.)

To all of the world leaders, Laios is simply convenient and will allow them to back down from the war they were about to start, but didn't really want to be fighting.

NOW, to return to Kabru:

When the threat of the dungeon appears to be neutralized at the end of the story, Kabru returns to his original secondary goal: he wants a tall-man to take over the Golden Kingdom, rather than let the elves, dwarves or gnomes have it. The new Golden Kingdom's access to the remains of the dungeon may provide political leverage in the future, since nobody KNOWS that the dungeons are actually neutralized and that they'll never come back.

Laios is the only person Kabru can push to take this role, the only one that all the groups involved will accept, and Kabru doesn't care that Laios doesn't want to do it. So Kabru and Yaad immediately recognize that they want the same thing, and they both start pushing Laios to be king together.

It should be noted though, that even though Kabru makes this choice, during the feast he still has doubts! What if making Laios king leads to the new Golden Kingdom becoming a haven for monsters? What if Laios was the wrong choice?

And Kabru says he will continue to worry about this for the rest of his life. Meaning that he's planning to stay in the kingdom and shepherd it to success, but also that he will never fully trust that Laios won't accidentally cause a monster-fueled massacre. If there's no dungeon to magically breed monsters, maybe Laios will just start importing them the old fashioned way! There's lots of ways an antisocial king that loves monsters could cause problems.

So..... in conclusion: Kabru and Laios aren't playing chess against each other.

....................

...............................

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Now, there are two characters that DO play mind chess in Dungeon Meshi: Kabru and Mithrun.

They do this for exactly two chapters, and then they immediately switch to playing cooperative pairs tennis instead, because they realize they (mostly) want the same things, and working together will be more beneficial than working against each other.

Reminder: I am not saying the fact that Kabru and Mithrun play mind chess is "canon proof of yaoi", or the fact that Kabru and Laios don't play mind chess is proof that shipping them is wrong. All I am saying is that Laios and Kabru do not play mind games against each other, and Mithrun and Kabru do. That's all!

I could keep going but I will stop lmao.

If you got this far and you liked reading what I had to say, you should check out my pinned post about the other Dungeon Meshi stuff I write/do.

[witchxxjpg]

lestappen hogwarts au dedicated to my harry potter marathon (1k words)

+ seeker Charles and chaser Max (definitely not dating you know👀)

(i know that the age gaps are incorrect and that 11 years-old Max never raced international but for the sake of this au i change these things))

******

Max sat in his compartment alone.

When he looked outside all he could see was children and their parents running around Platform 3/4 with huge trolleys filled with bags and suitcases. But Max himself had only a mediocre case with shabby textbooks and some clothes to wear during his first school year.

Honestly speaking, he didn't know what he was supposed to do. He didn't want to stand out, even though he was well aware that he wasn't quite like all the others.

When he passed by the other compartments, all the children were chatting and, Max guessed, they were just happy to see or meet each other, while some of the older students were discussing their summer breaks.

Max didn't know anyone here. He didn't even have anyone to say goodbye to.

His mother was too busy in Belgium to fly just for him to London. And his father was still furious at him for the decision to take a year off karting to study in this school for wizards. He had just dropped him off three hour ago near King's Cross Station and left without any goodbye.

Standing on the platform, Max'd thought about what to do.

After a failure of trying to ask an officer about platform 3/4 that was written on his boarding ticket Max'd sat on a nearby bench, hopping that soon he'd see someone who looked like a wizard.

And he was lucky enough that after only an hour of waiting he saw a girl, pulling a trolley of suitcases and a cage with a huge brown owl.

When Max had visited Diagon Alley last week with a big disheveled guy named Hagrid to buy all the necessary equipment for his first year, he'd been told that he's allowed to have a pet like a cat or an owl in Hogwarts. But his father didn't even want to give him money to purchase a wand, so Max knew better than to ask for an animal, even though he really wanted to have a cat.

He got into the train well earlier than all the other students, because almost all sofas were empty. He took one of the farthest compartments and put his case on the bench near him. He was too short to throw it on the top shelf and he didn't know any lifting charms. Then started looking at other wizards.

After an hour of observing the almost empty platform, Max finally started seeing more people.

They were all different: some of them wearing usual clothes, that Max's seen people in, while some others were in ridiculous outfits that he decided was sort of wizard style.

But there were a lot of children, of course. Most of them were in the same usual clothes. However, Max was relieved to see that others wore black robes that Max himself was dressed it.

Later he noticed that some of the robes of other students were with colorful elements, unlike his own that was fully grey.

The departure time of the Hogwarts Express was close, so Max sat there and waited, listening to dulled noises on the platform.

Until the door of his compartment was wide open.

"Hey, sorry, all the others are full," said a young boy, who looked around Max's age. "Do you mind if we sit with you?"

Max didn't mind at all, so he shaked his head and offered the seats.

Behind the boy who asked were two older guys who entered the room.

"Need help with your luggage?" asked one of them, pointing at Max's miserable suitcase, and Max, nodding, pointed out in his head that they're not from England, judging from the accent of these two of them.

While he put Max's case on the top shelf, the other one asked, seeing his stiffness, "First time, right?"

Max smiled awkwardly and nodded.

"Don't worry, we don't bite," cheered up the guy who helped with the luggage, chuckling.

"But Charlie can, though!" said the other, ruffling the hair of the younger boy who entered first and laughing.

Max assumed that they were all brothers, considering how well they knew each other.

The younger boy, Charlie, looked scandalous, "Hey, it only happened once!" pointing at the guy who accused him. "And you totally deserved that!"

"Okay," chuckled again the older guy. "We'll go buy us some food".

"Yeah, let the kids bond together," said the other when they exited the compartment, still giggling.

As soon as they left the younger guy jumped on the seat, opposite Max, with a huge smile and stretched out his right hand, "Hello, I'm Charles".

Shaking Charles' hand, Max mumbled, "I'm Max".

"Oh, by the way, that were Jules and Lorenzo," said Charles, pointing at the direction where the older boys had left. "They can be very annoying, I know. But still cool".

Max hesitated, "Are they your brothers?"

"Lo is," Charles smiled. "Jules is my godfather, but he's more like a brother. Do you have siblings?"

With that question Max realized that he actually missed Vic. He last saw her two months ago, while video chatting with their mother. He hoped he'd be able to go visit them on winter holidays.

"Yes, I have a sister," Max mentioned. "But she lives with my mother, and I live with my father".

He saw that Charles liked talking. "Oh, are you parents wizards?"

"No, they are both -" Max remembered that Hagrid had called them somehow, people who can't do magic. But he didn't remember. "Well, you know, not wizards".

"Muggles?" helped Charles. "That's so cool! Mine are from Monaco. Both wizards, but it's a boring story".

That explained the accent, even though Max'd thought they were French.

Max thought if he could share more about himself, "Oh, I raced in Monaco once", he said before realizing that maybe wizards didn't even know what karting was.

Until he saw how Charles' eyes went comically wide.

"Really?!" he jumped off the seat opposite Max and sat right near him. "You do karting? I also do karting. Not like anything professional but we do it every holiday".

Time passed and Max didn't even realize that. Soon returned Lorenzo and Jules with their hands full of sweets and chocolatebars. That's when Max tried his first chocolate frog and got his first card.

Then when Charles was very emotional to discuss Max's karting championships with his brothers, deep red Max was awkward to hear all this excitement (he'd never admit that he liked it). And he didn't know what to say when the older guys invited him to Monaco for winter holidays to show off the skills.

During boat trip to Hogwars Max listened to Charles speaking about four houses and how he was sure he would be in Gryffindor, because all his family was Gryffindor. Max decided that he also wanted to be brave and be in Gryffindor.

Of course, they didn't get to the same house, none of them didn't even get to the house that they'd wanted, but it wouldn't stop them from becoming best friends and probably something more.

But that's a story for later.

Now Max was just excited for his first year in the magic world.

[mooncalf87]

Lucifer hcs?

YES 🙏🙏🙏🙏 HE IS MY SECOND FAVORITE I LOVE HIM SO FUCKING MUCCCHHHH

Ep 8 spoilers!

He is a softie for Vaggie, they bond over both being fallen angels

He and Husk fly around together a lot, they don't have a super close bonded friendship, but they enjoy their little outings

Lucifer uses his magic to interfere with Alastors radio broadcasts (Alastor is THIS close to murdering either Lucifer or himself)

He has a pretty short wing span so when he is flying he has to move all his wings pretty fast and usually looks like a humming bird

Is secretly REALLY good at drawing

This mans depression and anxiety levels are off the charts, but they are slowly getting easier to manage now that he is back with Charlie

He never really got to know Sir Pentious, but Lucifer was the one who painted Pentious's portrait after his death

He loves popcorn. It is an unhealthy obsession.

When he has meetings with the Goetia family, he can totally tell that the random IMP sitting on Solas's couch is totally his secret bf

He and Lilith had a INCREDIBLY hard time trying to get Lilith pregnant, due to her being a human soul and him being a heavenly being

He and turn into any animal and sometimes turns into a cat to annoy Husk

He has a very hard time accepting the fact that Lilith isn't just gone for a little while, he still has a hard time admitting that he knows she will never come back

He still wears his wedding ring but Charlie is finally able to get him to take it off

he likes stuffed animals

This bitch can not figure out how to use tape for the life of him. Whenever he tries to use duct-tape he basically just wraps himself in it by accident

He needs his apple cane because he actually sustained a long lasting leg injury during his angelic fall, that he can't heal with his magic (he also hates to talk about it)

Is Chaggies #1 fangirl

Sometimes he dresses up as the apple at Lu Lu World for fun (whenever Charlie asks him why, he says, "its my theme park so I can do what I please")

He likes wood carving in his spare time

Sometimes forgets hes the literal KING OF HELL and is like "?????" When people bow to him on the streets

Even though he is Lucifer himself, he can still get hurt. Charlie HATES it when he bleeds

Dispite their mutual dislike for one another, Lucifer is very greatful Alastor was there for Charlie and her dream when her dad wasn't

Dramatic. This man is the textbook definition of drama. Can gossip for HOURS with Ange

Loves human watching. He can observe earth using his magic, and loves just. Sitting there. Watching humans go about their daily lives

Send me HC asks!!!!!!

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

A Need of the Soul

Summary: Éomer is teaching Faramir how to speak Rohirric as a surprise for Éowyn. Come for Faramir being a sweet husband, stay for the emotional links to Boromir and Théodred. Oh, and for Éomer being a big horse dork.

Context: I pulled a JRR and wrote a whole story around a special word I like! More on that at the very bottom. You can read this without knowing any of my personal Rohan head canon, but just in case it’s helpful: In my world, Éomer is married to his childhood best friend, Mereliss. My Théodred (who you can read more about here or here if you’re interested) was a nurturing soul with a curious mind, and I may be obsessed with him. And damn it, my Éomer can absolutely read and write! (See here for why that’s the case in my HC.)

As soon as Éowyn left for the morning, Faramir pulled out his secret stack of papers, the ones he had started requesting from Éomer six months ago when he first decided to try learning Rohirric. He wanted to master the language as a surprise for Éowyn, ever conscious of how much she had sacrificed on his behalf when they married. Although he knew she loved Ithilien, he also knew that sometimes she still longed for the familiarity and comfort of home, for the people, places, and culture that were now many miles away. If he could bring some of Rohan to her in the form of her language, he hoped he could brighten her heart on those days when she looked most in need of a reminder of all that she missed.

With this goal in mind, he had thrown himself wholly into the pursuit, but the process was more difficult than he had hoped. The Rohirrim didn’t keep written records in their own language, nor did they have textbooks or primers made to learn from. All Faramir had were the pages that Éomer would write out and send to him every few weeks, using Westron to describe basic grammar rules and listing common Rohirric words and phrases by their definitions and rough pronunciations. Working from written materials to learn a language that was only taught orally was maddeningly difficult, and Faramir spent long hours alone at his desk laboring at the exercises Éomer sent, unsure if he was even getting close to the sounds he was attempting to produce.

At least he would be aided today by the presence of Éomer in person. The king of Rohan was coming to Gondor to take counsel with his allies on military matters, and he had agreed to make time for some lessons while his own wife, Mereliss, kept Éowyn occupied in furtherance of the surprise. With Éowyn gone now to meet her sister-in-law, Faramir looked down his lists of Rohirric words and tried to commit a few more to memory, repeating them slowly out loud to himself while he waited for Éomer.

“If someone back home heard you slur your way through those words like that, they might assume you were a drunkard.”

Faramir looked up to see Éomer smirking at him from the doorway, still dressed in his riding clothes and holding a small pack. “Well, if the performance of the student falls short, I think we have no option but to blame the instructor,” Faramir returned with a smirk of his own.

“A fair point, I will grant you.” Éomer strode in and tossed his things on an empty chair before pulling Faramir up into a strong embrace, thumping a fist on his brother-in-law’s back with enough enthusiasm to knock the breath out of him.

When they separated, Faramir smiled and held up his stack of papers. “I do appreciate all of this. It’s a lot of work for me, but for you, too, I’m sure.”

Éomer gave a dismissive wave. “I have the easy part. Besides, there’s some benefit to me in all of this, as well. I’ll certainly enjoy the show the next time you visit Edoras and all the ladies at court discover that you can actually understand their scandalous comments about how handsome they find you. Your admirer’s club is in for a big shock.”

They both laughed, though Éomer noted the flush of pink in Faramir’s ears and cheeks and that only made him laugh all the harder. “Don’t let them see you blush, you’ll only make it worse!” He plopped down into a chair and put his feet up, smiling.

As Faramir took a seat across from him, he felt a warm, familiar echo in his heart. The easy camaraderie, the good natured teasing balanced with true affection…it couldn’t help but bring Boromir to his mind. Faramir still missed his brother every single day and looked for reminders of him everywhere that he could. But he didn’t think it was a stretch to see clear elements of Boromir reflected in Éomer–in his strength and brashness, his earnest intensity, his fierce loyalty. They were both proud men of action with an unshakeable sense of duty and love for family. Éomer could never replace Boromir, and he was surely his own man, different in many ways from the brother Faramir lost. But it lifted Faramir’s spirits to once again have such a figure in his life.

Now his brother-in-law reached into his pack and pulled out more pages, covered from top to bottom in his own scrawly handwriting. “I’ve brought you some more to learn–words you’d hear often around Rohan and that any self-respecting Rohirrim would know.”

Faramir accepted the papers from him and skimmed his eyes down the first page, but a look of confusion slowly built on his face as he read. “Am I understanding this correctly? Why do you have twenty different words for ‘horse’?”

“I have not given you twenty words for ‘horse’! Each one of those means something very different.” Éomer grabbed the page back and pointed. “This one here, éotynde, this is an old, calm mare that would be suitable for a young child just learning to ride.” He pointed again. “And this one, éoweder, is a high spirited horse that has quickness and agility but is unpredictable and difficult to control. The others are equally unique. Do you not see?”

Faramir gently extracted the page back from Éomer’s grip, hoping to avoid a further explanation of each specific variant on the list. “I understand those distinctions, but are they really significant enough that I require a whole separate word for each one? We make do in Gondor with but one term. A horse is a horse.”

“A horse is a horse?” Éomer gaped at him, incredulous. “You think the language of the Rohirrim would put a courier horse, whose purpose is swiftness and endurance, in the same category with a farm horse, who sacrifices speed in favor of strength and power? They aren’t remotely the same thing, and a proper language wouldn’t treat them as such. If we went by your rules, we’d all be calling the blacksmith a baker because they both make things with heat!”

It was obvious from the truly scandalized look on his face that Éomer would never concede the point, so Faramir held up his hands in smiling capitulation. And if all these varieties of horse were important to Éomer, likely they would be to Éowyn as well, so Faramir would learn them as best he could. But he desired to speak to Éowyn of many things, and horses were nowhere near the top of the list. He shuffled through the papers one more time. “Have you finally given me anything that would be suitable to say to a beloved wife?”

Éomer shot him a look. “I am not the right person to consult for words of romance. And certainly not when the woman to be romanced is my own sister.”

Faramir laughed. “Fair enough. Let’s get back to your many words for ‘horse’ and I will ask Mereliss to help me with some more emotional thoughts later.”

Éomer sat back, satisfied. “I will have you sounding like a Rohirrim in no time. Now, do you know the word for a horse that likes to cause trouble in the stable with the other horses?”

**********

The next morning, Faramir spent two hours with Mereliss while Éomer and Éowyn went for a ride. When the siblings returned, Éomer sent Éowyn to Mereliss’s quarters and went himself to check on Faramir’s progress. He found his brother-in-law once again at his desk, bent over his work, and dropped casually into a nearby chair.

“Did you get all of the flowery and eloquent phrases you need?”

Faramir put down his pen and smiled. “Mereliss helped me to write a special toast to Éowyn for our upcoming anniversary. I knew what I wanted to say, and Mereliss made sure it will sound not just like a bunch of Westron bluntly converted into Rohirric words but rather something that was written by a native speaker. Something truly of Rohan. She has quite a talent for beautiful language and imagery.” He gave a sly smile. “Though she told me that you also have something of a poet’s heart when the two of you are alone in your own chambers.”

Éomer’s head snapped up, a tinge of dark red sweeping across his cheeks. “She told you what?”

Now it was Faramir’s turn to laugh at his brother-in-law’s furious blushing, so out of character for one who was otherwise always self assured and confident. Faramir had faithfully reported Mereliss’s remark, and it was clearly true that Éomer really did speak his softest thoughts to her or he would not be so flustered by the possibility that she had shared those thoughts. But Faramir had no need or desire to prolong Éomer’s self-consciousness.

“There is nothing to worry about. I know only that you are capable of words to enchant and delight your wife, which is no bad thing. But she didn’t reveal what those words are. She wouldn’t betray your privacy, and I would never ask her to.”

Éomer’s shoulders noticeably relaxed, and he laughed a little at his own embarrassment. “Well, your discussion of my clumsy attempts to please my wife aside, I am glad that she helped you. Westron is very useful, but there are some things that just cannot be said as effectively without our own words and expressions.”

“Indeed. She gave me a number of things that I quite like, ways to convey entire concepts with a single word that has no direct equivalent in any language that I know. Like sáwolthearf. Every language should have such a term.”

Sáwolthearf. The word sent a wave of fond remembrance through Éomer’s heart. It translated literally as ‘a need of the soul’ and was used in Rohan to mean someone who is necessary in order for another person to feel truly happy and complete. His late cousin Théodred, who had always been so free and generous in expressing his feelings, used to call his bride-to-be sáwolthearf, and Éomer could easily picture Eadlin practically glowing with love and pride whenever Théodred referred to her that way.

To hear Théodred’s words coming now from Faramir’s lips was no great shock to Éomer. On the contrary, it only intensified a feeling he had long had in the presence of his brother-in-law: a sense that he was not with Théodred himself, but with a kindred spirit of his cousin. Someone whose modesty, eagerness for knowledge, gentle heart and dreamer’s mind so thoroughly echoed Théodred’s own nature that Éomer felt immediately at ease in his company. Théodred had been many things to Éomer–a deeply loved cousin, but also much like an older brother and at times even a father figure–and he had carried Éomer through some of the most difficult moments he would ever experience. Éomer could never truly reconcile himself to Théodred’s loss, but having Faramir in his life helped to salve that wound.

Watching Faramir now—shuffling again through his notes and drafts, applying himself so diligently to such a difficult task and all for the purpose of simply making Éowyn smile—Éomer was struck by a profound feeling of gratitude, one that he felt should be voiced even if it was not normally in his nature to speak of his innermost feelings. He cleared his throat, and Faramir looked up.

“What you’re doing for my sister is very admirable. I know it will mean a lot to her, and for that reason it means a lot to me. Thank you, eyre-brothor.”

Faramir frowned slightly and looked back at his papers. “Eyre-brothor? I don’t think I’ve learned that yet.”

Éomer smiled. “It means ‘brother by choice.’ Write that one down.”

**********

[Language nerd notes:

“Sáwolthearf” is a real Old English word (though I modernized the thorn in the middle for readability–it’s actually “sáwolþearf”) and it really does mean “a need of the soul,” which I just think is incredibly beautiful.

I made up “eyre-brothor” by combining two other real Old English words, “eyre” (“a choice made of free will”) and “brothor” (“brother”, though once again I turned the thorn in broþor into a “th” to make it smoother to modern English-reading eyes).

“Éotynde” comes from an approx combo of “eoh” (“horse”) and “tyende” (“teaching”) for a horse that’s calm enough to be good for beginners.

Éoweder comes from an approx combo of “eoh” (“horse”) and “weder” (“weather”) because to be impressive but quick-changing, unpredictable and uncontrollable is to be like the weather.

And it’s not in the story, but Éomer’s word for a horse that likes to cause trouble in the stable with the other horses is an “éodrefa” from “eoh” (horse, again!) and “drefan,” which is “to stir things up or cause mischief”.]

[fortuna-et-cataclysmos]

On Felix, Revolution, and Anarchism

I was absolutely flabbergasted by Emotion and this will be one of my most complex analyses, so hold on tight.

In Emotion, Felix carries a well-thought attack on the Diamond Ball, and unveils himself as the new holder of the Peacock Miraculous, Argus. I think that it is heavily implied that what Felix attempts to do is an anarchist revolution to topple the ruling elite. I know that this may sound too far-fetched for some, but there are some very apparent signs embedded in the episode, which I'll explain below.

First, let's talk about how this is a revolution.

The name Felix chooses for himself is Argus. Who is Argus? Maybe someone has already written about this given that I am quite late to the Emotion party, but I am pretty sure that this name refers to the Argonauts, which is a group of 50 heroes in Greek mythology. Argus is one of the heroes, the one who built the heroes' ship, Argo.

The Argonauts are on a quest to acquire the Golden Fleece, which is notoriously seen as a symbol of "authority and kingship" in the Western culture. Long story short, the Argonauts are trying to seize power from an undeserving king and to give it to the real heir to the throne.

That's what Felix attempts to do. He obviously sees the elite, ruled by Gabriel (who, as we know from Protection, is the organiser of the Diamond Ball) as "unworthy" to rule and topples them.

It's time for someone to put an end to your endless try to control people. [...] I'm freeing us from you!

His attempt is very much a seize of power, a revolution.

Then what is a revolution? It is a sudden and fundemantal change to the balances of power. The way that Felix has been planning it for a while (he says that he had been observing Adrien and Marinette for a while), the way he chooses a very symbolic event as target (exclusive only to the elites he intends to topple), and how he quite literally makes disappear everyone who is an obstacle to him, give a very revolutionary feel.

In addition, unlike Gabriel (and even Ladybug and Chat Noir), he does not even attempt to hide his true identity, nor his motives. His attack at the Diamond Ball makes sense only if everyone knows who he is and what he attempts to do, which is to topple the elite and fundementally change the world. Hence, Felix's attempt here is a revolution, which by the way, technically succeeds.

But a revolution for what? What was the system, what is the new system that the revolution intends to bring? In Felix's words:

I'll make a wish to create a better world, a free world, where no one will be under anyone's control anymore, where no one will be excluded like I was, a world without people like [Ladybug] to decide what is right or wrong, who gets power and who doesn't.

This idea of a world where there is little to no authority (who "decides what is right or wrong"), no inequality in distribution of power, is the textbook definition of this little ideology called anarchism.

I believe there are many hints in that direction.

The first and most obvious one (it is so obvious that I thought of it last!) is the fact that, his enemy is... Gabriel. aka the Monarch. As in, the King. The Ruler. The Authority.

Then, there is the colour scheme.

When the red moon sentibeing takes over Paris, her light colours everything in a red hue. There is a lot of red and black contrast going on in this episode, especially with the night sky. Red and black are also the two colours symbolic of anarchism (see: wikipedia page on Anarchist symbolism).

Third, and I acknowledge that this one may be a bit of a stretch but, the rising sun symbolism.

Maybe it is just me, but Argus' red moon totally looks more like a sun than a moon to me. Anarchism is generally perceived as a liberalist branch of socialism, so I will borrow from socialist symbolism here, where the rising sun is frequently used as a symbol of revolution. You can go to this wikipedia page on socialist-style emblems and scroll through, and tell me if you see the same parallel as me or if I am trying too hard. This also ties back to my previous argument, on how this is in fact a revolution.

Then there is this quote:

By now, the whole world has been bathed in the light of the red moon.

Just look at this sentence and tell me it doesn't seem straight out of a 20th century manifesto. It also vaguely reminds me of the saying "the empire on which the sun never sets", giving extra political vibes.

The fact that in 1871, Paris was scene to one of the first modern applications of anarchism (Paris Commune), also adds to my certainty that there is a strong to reference to anarchism here. The showrunners do not shy away from political and historic themes in France (Darkblade, Sangsure, Reunion, and Illusion all have prominently political themes that I have also analysed before).

Lastly, another visual clue of anarchism is Argus' character design:

He's wearing what seems to be inspired of royal suits (the buttons, the fancy pants, and all). But also, a hood! An accessory which is associated with rebellious figures, such as Robin Hood, or more recently, street protesters. It very much is an accessory that would be in the Anarchist Beginner's Pack. To make a small paranthesis, if you're wondering why the fancy overalls then; my theory is that they symbolise Felix's priviledged roots.

So if we agree that Felix undertakes an anarchist revolution, the question that remains to be answered is: why? How does it relate to the plot?

I guess at this point it is safe to assume that at least Adrien and Felix are sentibeings. Felix is disgruntled by the way sentibeings are treated: for one, the fact that they are called monsters is very disturbing for him. As I quoted above, he feels excluded. He also doesn't like the way they are created just to be used, and the way they can be disappeared from existence at a whim.

So he decides to reverse the roles, hence his line to Marinette:

Marinette: They're looking at me like I'm a monster. Felix: Look closer Marinette, they're the monsters.

His power enables him to disappear everyone out of existence at the snap of a finger, just like the way one would make a sentimonster disappear.

What starts as a disappearing-spree among the elites (who so obnoxiously label themselves as the diamonds, a gem associated with perfectness), quickly spreads to the general public in an attempt to coerce Ladybug and Chat Noir to give up on their Miraculouses. However, when Chat Noir fails to show up and Ladybug sacrifices herself rather than giving her Miraculous, Argus' initial to wish for a perfect world fails.

Even when he technically wins - for the first time, Ladybug's Lucky Charm offers no solution -, he quickly sees that:

Winning isn't always what we think it is.

His revolution succeeds; the balances of power have shifted. Now everyone is a sentimonster but him. Nonetheless, things don't go as he planned.

He is condemned by the very people he attempted to save (Adrien and Kagami). He accidentally hurts the very people he had wanted to protect (Marinette has disappeared and won't come back). And eventually, when he accepts his defeat, he must do the unthinkable: he must dissolve a sentibeing himself.

We know that that is the equivalent of murder for Felix, who identifies with the red moon tremendously:

Your power is terrible. What would happen if I lost control? Forgive me my friend, my sister.

This is a common pattern in revolutions. Frequently, revolutions lead to instability, the sheer force that enables them also grows out of control and turns against the people who undertook it too. We don't need to look far for it either; the French Revolution was followed by mass violence, both against the former elites and the revolutionaries themselves (la Terreur).

So all in all, we could say that Emotion is a micro anarchist revolution from start to finish.

Revolutions give a tremendous momentum that may end up getting out of control and perversing the cause, ending up leading to things opposite to the ideals that inspired them. A prime example would be the Russian Revolution, which, even though driven by the equalitarian principles of communism, gave rise to one of the most corrupt systems in the world.

Similarly, Felix tried to overhaul the system controlled by his uncle in order to make the world a better place for sentibeings, but ended up instrumentalising the red moon, and needing to free her out of existence himself.

The lesson he took from this experience prompted him to refusing to creating sentibeings even to save himself, a decision he voices in Pretension.

[marina41trench]

Yotsuba Tamaki - PTT Xmas RabbiChat [4/5] - The Popular Mr. Santa

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Tamaki: Look, Manager

Tamaki: Who do you think is in this pic?

Tsumugi: Is it Tamaki-san in Santa-san clothing?

It really fits you!

Tamaki: Whoa

Tamaki: You got it right instantly

Tamaki: I was so confident about it

Tsumugi: I thought that the eyes were yours!

Tamaki: Really

Tsumugi: If it’s IDOLiSH7, I’m confident that I’ll guess all of you correctly no matter what you wear!

Tsumugi:

Tamaki: Awesome

Tamaki:

Tamaki: Though the people at the facility didn’t get it right the first time

Tsumugi: Now that reminds me, today is the Christmas Party!

Tamaki: Yeah~ I played a lot

Tamaki: It was fun but the kids there were so lively I got really exhausted

Tamaki:

Tsumugi: Thank you for your hard work!

I’m sure it’s also because they haven’t played with you in a while!

Tamaki: Me too

Tsumugi:

Tsumugi: What kind of games did you play?

Tamaki: Like a staring contest and games that let you play with your hands. We did a lot of it

Tamaki: We also played tail tag when they found out it was me!

Tsumugi: They made you join!

Tsumugi:

Tamaki: I haven’t played it for a long time so it was interesting lol

Tamaki: The kids jumped at me at once and aimed for my tail

Tamaki: They’re clinging on my leg that I couldn’t walk lol

Tsumugi: They’re going against you with their numbers! They’re all strategists! (laugh) Tamaki: Yeah~

Tamaki: I might’ve lost instantly but they all look like they’re enjoying it so it was fun

Tsumugi:

Tamaki: And then we did the King Pudding Dance

Tamaki:

Tsumugi:

Tamaki: They’re all plumpy and lively lol

Tsumugi: Whoa! That’s definitely cute!

I wanted to see you dance with the children!

Tsumugi:

Tsumugi: Hearing the “Ousama Puri-puri~♪” already makes me want to move my body (laugh)

Tamaki: Yama-san learned it recently

Tsumugi: Yamato-san did that?!

Tsumugi:

Tamaki: Yeah! It’s hilarious

Tamaki: When the King Pudding song played in the CM

Tamaki: He was drunk and waved his ass with Mikki lololol

Tamaki:

Tsumugi: No way…!

Tsumugi: It may seem inappropriate, I somewhat want to see it! (laugh)

Tamaki: Iorin uses it for? warning? so

Tamaki: he recorded a video. I’ll ask him later

Tsumugi:

Tsumugi: That reminds me, I heard from Iori-san that you’re taking a break from studying for exams.

Tsumugi:

Tamaki: Iorin’s telling on people now

Tamaki:

Tsumugi: Exams are coming soon, right? Tamaki: Yeah but I don’t feel like studying

Tamaki: How do I have the motivation to do it

CHOICE

1) How about I prepare a reward for you? Tamaki: By reward, you mean King Pudding?

I won't be able to bear it until I finish studying. Even if you prepare it I’d just eat it

2) How about you listen to your favorite music while studying?

Tamaki: When I listen to music I’d want to dance

Iorin’s warning me when I make a rhythm.

3) How about you do your best so you can enjoy the Christmas Party?

Tamaki: You’re right but when I open a textbook I’d be taken in by a sleeping spell

How does Iorin and Isumin not fall asleep?

Tsumugi: Well then, how about you set a short time? Tsumugi: When I can't focus, I divide my time to take a rest or exercise.

Tamaki: Hmm

Tamaki: When I take a rest my power dies

Tsumugi: I see…?

Tsumugi: Well then, How about changing places when you study?

When you change your environment, perhaps you’ll feel refreshed!

Tamaki: Ohh that sounds good

Tamaki: Oh yeah!

Tamaki: Can I study at the office?

Tamaki: It might make me feel it’s work if I do it there

Tsumugi: You can do it when there's no visitors.

Tamaki: I’ll do my best not to be a bother!

Tsumugi:

Tsumugi: Good luck!

Tsumugi: When the exams are over it’ll be just fun things!

Tamaki:

[musicallisto]

Hi Clara! First off, congratulations!! Secondly, what about 🦈 and stray kids?

i asked the wheel and the wheel brought forth... felix, hyunjin, seungmin

LMFAO THIS IS THE TEXTBOOK DEFINITION OF A BITCH FIGHTTTT

no because these bitches fight DIRTY. they're gonna be pulling each others hair and insulting each other's MOMS and shit and it's gonna get MESSY. we all know seungmin is a little shit in that sense, he's afraid of nothing and certainly not his hyungs, hyunjin is the biggest drama queen this earth has carried but felix?? felix is a sweetheart and he knows the odds are not in his favor against the two Tall Kids™, so his only hope here is to hoodwink. if there's a referee he probably gave him a backhander beforehand. i'm tempted to say that even though hyunjin is probably the favorite here, he'd get bored of the cat fight pretty quickly and just... give up💀 and leave it to the other two dudes to sort things out. and even though this would be a fight for the AGES, with loads of illegal moves and elbowing and sticking fingers in eyeballs, at the end of the day seungmin would get a little too cocky, underestimating felix's capacity (and willingness) to bend the rules, and that would be his downfall. so yes, felix the underdog wins this round. but maybe it's just bc i want my short kings to thrive.

[foodandfolklore]

A Garden of Stories; Grade 2 1940 English

Earlier this year, I came upon a random find at a book sale. It was a tattered, and well used Textbook from 1940 Canada. It contained series of short stories taking place in what seemed to be modern day, along with pomes, songs, and retellings of Bible stories and Fairytales. I found this interesting because it's a snapshot of people's lives and perceptions just a few generations before me. One of the last stories talks about everyone's excitement about the King and Queen of England visiting. And how lucky we are to have a King and queen. While there's still some nostalgia about the British royal family, we're definitely no longer pushing such a mindset in classrooms.

A few pages have sadly been torn out by previous owner. As I said, it was well loved. But something else has stood out to me. Every single page has some kind of colour on it, mostly in the form of a border or header. But at lest two thirds of the illustrations are in fact full colour. In a textbook that was printed and Published in 1940. And I mean full colour; Some look like water colour and some look like coloured inks. Meanwhile back in the 70s and 80s, most textbooks were printed in black and white.

But for now I'll share a quick story with you. Or rather a short play. It's called: The Field Mouse and the Town Mouse. It seems to teach an interesting lesson that's not commonly taught to children of today. About how you can't have everything you want and you need to choose what's important to you.

Act 1 (Time: A day in late summer. Place: The home of the Field Mouse, under the famer's barn.) The Town Mouse (coming in the door): Good morning, Mr. Field Mouse! How good of you to ask me for dinner! The country is beautiful to-day. The Field Mouse (smiling): Good Morning Mr. Town Mouse. May I take your hat and cane? Come in and sit down. It is not often that you leave the city. How are all my friends there? The Town Mouse: Oh, they are very well, Mr. Field Mouse. The Summer has been hot, but we do not mind that. Life is so gay in the city that we are never unhappy. The Field Mouse: Do have something to eat, Mr. Town mouse. May I give you some dry corn, or will you have the wheat? The Town Mouse: Just a little corn if you please. (he eats some corn. he finds it hard to chew.) Mr. Field Mouse: You are not eating much. Are you not feeling well to-day? Mr. Town Mouse: Oh, I feel quite well, Mr. Field Mouse, but I fear that city food has spoiled me. I find this corn a little dry and hard. Mr. Field Mouse: Dear me, I am sorry to hear that. I must get you a drink of water. Mr. Town Mouse (wiping his whiskers): Do not do that, Mr. Field Mouse. I shall not have anything more, thank you. I really must get back to my home. The Field Mouse: What good food you must have in the city! The Town Mouse: If I do say it myself, I think we have nice things. Ice-cream or apple tastes good on a summer day. You must come to stay with me soon. I shall give you the best I have. The Field Mouse: Thank you, Mr. Town Mouse. As soon as my corn and wheat are stored for the winter, I shall come to see you. Mr. Town Mouse (taking his hat and cane): I shall be looking for you. Thank you for the dinner. Good-bye. Act II (Time: A month later. Place: The home of the Town Mouse in a kitchen pantry.) The Field Mouse (holding his hat in his hand): Good Morning, Mr. Town Mouse! It is not easy to find your home in the city. The streets are so full of cars and bicycles. The Town Mouse: When you have had dinner you will forget about that. I have everything here. This cheese is good, and I hope that you will have some apples, ice-cream, and honey. The Field Mouse (eating happily): This is too good to be true. Do you have dinner like this every day? The Town Mouse: Of Course we do. The Field Mouse: Then you are right. It is much better to live here than in the country. (A "meow" is heard outside the door.) The Town Mouse: The Cat! Run! (The mice run, and hide in a hole. The cat comes into the pantry. He hunts for the mice. He goes away saying "Meow". Then the Mice return to their meal.) The Town Mouse: As I was saying- (A "Bow-Wow" is heard outside the door.) The Town Mouse: The dog! Run for your life! (The mice hide again. The dog comes in and paws at the hole, barking. At last he goes away.) The Field Mouse (coming out of the hole): Say no more. You may stay in the city and eat good things if you like. I will go back to the country. My food there may be plain, but at least I can eat in peace.

The Town Mouse: But the ice-cream! You have not had your ice-cream! You must lie down. You are shaking with fright. The Field Mouse: No. No. I must leave you. Good-bye, Mr. Town Mouse. Good-bye!

Note: Funny enough, during this time, it was people on farms who were known to have good food. My nana who was shipped off to boarding school after living on a farm loved everything about it EXCEPT the food. I wonder if stories like this were becoming a kind of propaganda thing to open people's minds to living in the city, as food distribution became easier.

[astroboots]

For HOMECOMING (I’m an idiot) tell me about movie night ❤️

Baby your prompts are the best and I love you! Thank you for humouring me and my bullshit.

MOVIE NIGHT

Summary/Author’s notes: Movie nights in your households are always a battle.

Word Count: 1100

Homecoming Drabbles | Homecoming Masterlist | Astroboot’s Masterlist

"Godfather?"

"No," you reply.

"Scarface?"

"No."

"Irishman, gangster squad, Godfather two--"

"Santiago, why are you only suggesting gangster movies?" You take the remote from him and hand it to Frankie instead, who immediately starts browsing the Netflix titles.

"What about Top Gun?" Frankie suggests.

You turn to Santiago and you both share a knowing look.

Frankie always suggests Top Gun, and while any outsider would simply assume that the reason is pretty obvious, Frankie is a pilot after all, of course he likes a movie about pilots.

But the two of you know better. Frankie's hates action movies and even more than that he hates military movies. Top Gun, a thinly veiled military propaganda movie, should be on the bottom of his movies to watch. Should be.

Except... 12 year old Frankie had a huge crush on young Tom Cruise, with his lustrous black hair and cock-assured smile (despite the fact that the actor is as Benny would phrase it, a "short king"). You've seen that worn out poster in his childhood bedroom, a leather bomber jacket and a smoky gaze framed by thickly knitted brows.

You glance at Santiago again, and can't help the smirk this time, nobody could ever accuse Frankie of not having a type in men.

You shake your head. "Frankie, baby, I love you. But we're not watching Top Gun again."

"She's doing it again," Santiago says, with a loud exaggerated sigh as he crosses his arms and leans back against the sofa.

"What do you mean I'm doing it again?"

"You always do this. You suggest movie night and then you turn down every single movie ever made."

"That's not true!"

"No?" Santiago, pins you with his eyes. "Then whatever movie that Frankie wants to watch next, that's the one we pick. You don't get to veto any more."

You take a moment to stare at Santiago back just as openly, before you finally relent. "Fine."

"Top Gun!" Frankie immediately announces.

"Frank," Santiago starts, "we just said no to that--"

"No Santiago," you interject. "You said that whatever movie Frankie wanted, we have to watch. You dug this grave and now we all have to sit in it."

Santiago's mouth gapes. He's stunned. No more comebacks. You want to pat yourself over the shoulder for that stunning achievement. Because, you might not want to re-watch Top Gun, but what you do want is for Santiago to suffer for through the consequence of his actions after he essentially called you difficult (which is the most textbook definition of pot calling kettle you've ever seen).

"Fine," Santiago huffs and he jerks back against the sofa with a loud thud in protest.

Frankie doesn't seem to pay it any attention as he pushes play, before settling in on his favorite armchair right next to the sofa where you and Santiago are seated.

The Paramount logo plays on the screen, and before long the familiar beat of Danger Zone blares out from your speakers, and oh God, you're regretting your life decisions already. You're not sure one hour and forty minutes of this is worth Santiago's agony.

From the armchair, Frankie's eyes are wide and eager, practically giddy with excitement, and you sigh. Yeah, there is no way you can get out of this one and call Uncle now. He looks much too happy for you to rain on his parade, so instead you make yourself comfortable on the sofa, scooting closer to Santiago as you rest your head on his shoulder and make peace with this.

On the screen, Tom Cruise, walks out, and you're not really playing attention to the plot, something about planes, and missions and whatnot.

You're almost drifting off when you feel it. That familiar pleasant tickle against the back of your neck, a pleasant scrape that tingles and burn at the same time, that is only caused by one man.

Santiago Garcia.

His jaw is brushing up against you, spare stubble from when he clean-shaved this morning, grazing up against the side of your throat, as his lips presses a long line of kisses that makes your toes curl.

"Santiago, what are you--" you sentence finishes with a gasp as Santiago sinks down his teeth against the soft flesh. Heat rushes up your veins spreading outwards and your legs nearly kicks out from the sudden sensation.

"The rule of the game was that we have to watch what Frankie wants to watch right?" he murmurs, breath fanning hot against your ear that makes the whole of your spine tingle.

Long fingers skim the side of your ribs, as his fingertips starts to skirt underneath your sweater. The touch sears your sensitive skin as he makes his way down from your ribs to your belly, then slips under your shorts.

Even before the bastard reaches your underwear, he has you gasping in anticipation and you cant your hips in reflex, and that obnoxious, cocky smile of his grows even wider.

"I guess that also means if Frank doesn't want to watch anymore, movie night ends."

With one hand on your knee, he spreads your legs for him, to allow his other hand to easily slip between your thighs. Then even though you can barely see it, hidden as his hand is from the fabric of your clothing, you can certainly feel it. That familiar perfect pressure as his thumb presses down on your clit, sparking searing-white pleasure in your blood.

It keeps going, small, deliberate circles that makes it hard to breathe. You barely have the awareness anymore to notice how his other hand moves from your knee and draws up to cup your chin. Thumb bridging across the span of your jaw as he tilts you up and away from him. For a second you think this teasing brat is going to turn your attention towards the TV with some snarky line about how you should focus on the movie.

He doesn't do that.

Instead he turns you further still, until your eyes settle on the armchair next to you. On Frankie.

Your husband is no longer watching the movie and that giddy almost boyish excitement in his expression from before has been replaced by something else entirely. Those usually warm brown eyes are glazed and pitched dark with a unfulfilled hunger residing there as his gaze is pinned on the two of you. It makes your blood race, heart pumping fast, because he's looking at you like a starved wolf who's about to hunt down his next meal.

From behind, you can hear the throaty chuckle in your ear.

"I think I just won this game."

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[taeilskitty]

Hey there! I saw that you open for a request so here's what I thought : what kind of sound did nct make when having sex? Are they more into whimpers, groans, or maybe dirty talk? Thank you so much for answering my question and hope you have a good day!

i was BORN to answer this omg. lemme tell you, i have thought about this so SO much!! (i'm leaving chenji out of this bc i don't know how people feel about that yet)

anyways, i hope u enjoy and i hope this matches what you had in mind <3

taeil

oh fuck. taeil is most certainly a groaner. i think (and trust me, i've thought a lot) he must make these gorgeous low moans like right in the back of his throat if that makes sense - have you ever heard his bubble voice messages? oh my god, they're so fucking hot. his raspy voice in the middle of the night is just to die for. that makes me CONVINCED that he dirty talks super up close. even thinking about it makes me shiver :(( he's the king of praise, i just know it. i think he degrades too, but his favourite is when he mixes both together - "you look so pathetic there baby, how cute." "daddy loves his pretty slut so much." "god you're so fucking good for me, my cockslut~" taeil also asks things, i think that suits him so much. "yeah? you like that?" "is daddy's cock too big baby? shh, i'll be done soon..."

taeyong

whiner. whiner. undoubtedly. this boy has the sweetest, prettiest little moans... he gets all high pitched when he's close and oh god when he sinks into subspace he just mewls and his voice gets so weak </3 little "yes" and "a-ah thank you"s slip out because he such a good kitten. he's so precious... and if he gets asked to speak while he's getting fucked he just squeaks out an answer. "m.. love it... ah..." n he will never fail to say his please and thank yous - he's so well mannered even when hes getting used !!!

johnny

this is just. oh my. i think he's silent for the most part. heavy breathing and quiet grunts and groans until he's close. THAT'S when he starts moaning, all sorts of things slipping out. "god you're so good" "i love this hole so much" ahh??! i think he talks down too. fuck !!! daddy!johnny is so patronising, and not just outside of the bedroom. kinda like taeil, he asks things, but he makes u feel so dumb and cock drunk :( AH AND he like... coos when you feel all dazed from his cock... "awh~ is that good? you like that don't you sweetheart? yeah, i know."

yuta

i have this vision of yuta just SLAMMING from behind with his face right up in your ear, telling you all sorts of dirty things lowly with just the hottest voice ever. he's very vocal about what he wants, and he loves cumming inside... so expect him to talk about that. oh, he is so fucking possessive too. "hmm. mine. this is mine. you're mine." he probably bites your ear/neck when he says it... the grunts that come out when he slams are enough to send anyone reeling, but i bet he tells you "fuck. gonna. gonna cum in my fuckdoll--" n his voice just trails off as he fills you up and sighs<33

kun

now kun is !! an interesting one !! ... i envision him as a pretty hard dom, so i don't think he's any stranger to degrading. that being said, i think he's more talkative when he's giving punishments (e.g. spanking over his thigh... heaven<33) rather than when he's fucking. i think he moans lowly, semi-quietly but as he gets more and more pent up he gets louder. (i think this is the case for most of the nct doms but oh well) he'll praise how good you make him feel - assuming you've been behaved enough - but that doesn't stop him from cursing under his breath at every chance he gets ,,..

doyoung

definitely has pretty moans !! he probably does whine, but i mean that in a dom way - if that makes sense? higher pitched moans but not pathetic, in fact it's probably paired with him whispering "fuck yes, good [insert ur fave petname here]". i think he's the type to kiss you a lot during sex and like... moan into your mouth; any space not taken up by the sound of moans will for sure be filled with the sound of his panting and his tongue dancing with yours.

ten

another semi-whiner. i always saw him as a dom but i'm sliiightly succumbing to the idea that he may be a switch... which is why i think there's so much BEAUTY in his moans?? ten makes really pretty, breathy whines and moans i'm sure, i don't particularly think he talks a crazy amount but rather short instructions. (yes i'm going back to dom!ten) "turn around." "get on your knees" "quiet." AH !! he always lets you know what he needs - however, sub!ten will just whine and squirm till you make him cum because he is most definitely a slut who takes anything:(

jaehyun

first of all, this man wrecks me to the fucking core, and i could talk about this for... a while. but his moans are definitely like, raspy high-pitched type. think about his vocals. esp in try again... i bet you they sound like THAT. i'm sure he talks a bit too, tbh he probably says rather textbook dirty things but it sounds so fucking hot when it's him. "yeah take it, take my cock" "fuck yes just like that", he loves how you whine when he moans right up next to you btw - it just makes him do it even more. oh, and bonus - he will never call you ANYTHING without prefixing it with my or daddy's. daddy's girl, daddy's boy, daddy's pet, my dirty slut... ahh<3

winwin

it's almost contrasting to jaehyun but sicheng's voice is so low. i can't explain this in any way other than that he's kitty, but his moans are so... puppy? and when he's fucked, he makes himself sound so dumb too. he's constantly slurring his words and biting his lip because he's trying to keep quiet but anyone who walks by the room will hear "mm.. m!!" because he just can't help himself :( when he's close he probably squeaks like taeyong and cums all over the place GOD i want him

jungwoo

oh god there's no doubt that jungwoo talks SO much during sex. he probably loses his fucking mind with how good he feels. he's such a good boy but sometimes you just need him to shut up - but he can't. he squeaks out a little moan when you push into him, or when you start touching his cock, but withn minutes he's babbling non-stop; "oh god oh god mommy/daddy i love it so much, a-ah like that, please~"

lucas

my brain used to be convinced that xuxi was a dom, but i'm now sure he's a switch. either way, his moans are pretty much the same. they're very heavy and... i guess manly is the best way to put it. in my head i can literally picture him being like "ughhh..." when you start fucking because he just feels like he's wanted to fuck you so desperately - yes, even if you fucked hours before. it's always so breathy and moany and i think he sounds like a bit of a fuckboy tbh... "fuck yeah" as he slides his cock into you? THANKS

mark

loud baby loud baby LOUD BABY:((( no matter how much you cover that pretty mouth of his he will be so LOUD!! he can't stop talking and whining and panting, kinda like jungwoo but honestly... more. he swears a lot too. he tries not to but he just can't help himself :( "aw shit... god shit!!!" under his breath UGHHFDGGDFDD SO FUCKING CUTE IM GONNA SCREAM !!! he's very polite though, so he always says sorry every single time :( he babbles like hell when he cums, he can't stop himself, again like jungwoo. "i'm gonna cum i'mgonnacumi- i'm -- ah fuck, shit--!!"

xiaojun

two words. action figure. everyone knew that was coming, HA - i'm sorry but THAT verse means we all know how he sounds. i think he tries his best to talk normally while you edge him but his little voice keeps on wavering and cracking and just... he can't help but sound all pretty and pathetic :( but surely dejun has some (very frequent) moments where he can't keep his front anymore and just whines like a whore because it feels so good<3

hendery

the things i'd let this man do to me:))) i think at first he'd actually try and hide his moans because he feels like that's what he's supposed to do, but no. for me personally, i know i would NOT LET THAT HAPPEN !! he probably sucks the air in through his teeth in an attempt to hide it - it's very fucking sexy when he does that, granted - but he can't keep doing that for long. i think he hums and laughs when he can't keep it in any longer because he almost feels some kinda defeat but then he just moans semi-loudly and lets out a "good girl/boy/baby... let me fuck you, huh?"

renjun

renjun scares the fuck out of me. why? because his moans are fairly quiet. he's master and it S H O W S. he grunts quietly, maybe muttering things under his breath like "so fucking tight" "mmh there you go..." to fill some silence but he does it subconsciously; he goes so far into domspace sometimes that he just can't control himself. when he's close he talks through his teeth and he's like "i'm. i'm gonna cum baby..."and the more you whine on his cock the more he just laughs at you because he's a sadist hhhhhhhhhhh.........

jeno

most definitely a fun one... you see when he's sub, he pants and whines and drools all over himself like a big dumb puppy boy and he just breathes so heavy n his moans are all shaky... if he's a brat he will try and talk big but he can't take it, he just gets so pathetic and !!! but dom jeno is fucking TERRIFYING because he talks down and tries his best to intimidate you. he chuckles and degrades you, but one of his faves is when he can big himself up under his breath. "look at you now. you love this fucking cock."

haechan

this isn't good for my mental health :) i fucking cannot TAKE this brat :) AHA! hyuckie is honestly such a whore, he's bratty and rude and always talks back at you like he's the king of the fucking world. he's constantly laughing at you and trying so hard to make you feel like you're not worthy but he feels so good he just gets fucked dumb by you :( he is SO loud too. he wants everyone to hear what a dirty whore he is and he makes sure he puts on his prettiest pornstar moans. he whines like his life depends on it. on the off chance that he's being a good boy, he begs and cries and whimpers when he finally cums - and i mean CRIES. sobs. he'll be heaving by the time you're done with him, but god he fucking loves it.

jaemin

fuck... fuck okay... well firstly he loves to talk. we all know how much he praises and how he's constantly showing his love off... that doesn't stop at fanservice, nope. he will fuck you like a ragdoll and keep calm and composed as ever, talking down to you as if you're in his lap for a soft cuddle. "baby loves nana so much hm~?" "oh you really love that don't you?" "you know you're so pretty. nana wants to cum in you so bad~" yes, he calls himself nana because he's a cocky fuck and loves how it sounds. especially when you're moaning it for him.

yangyang

i'm kinda in 2 minds about this... on the one hand, he's kinda like hyuckie in that he whines a LOT. but he can actually keep his composure - he's a breathy whiner, he's not quite as loud and he most certainy doesn't crumble as easily. (that's not to say that he can't, he most definitely can.) on the other hand i think when he's in a more neutral headspace rather than subby, he talks to you like a total fuckboy. not in a mean way but he's just like "hah. i know you love me fucking you like this." he gets so cocky and he sucks hickeys into your neck and hums quietly<3

shotaro

he's such a shy baby :( he wants to moan so much but he probably gets all self conscious and tries to hide it... so you gotta make him feel safe :( when he does he whimpers and it's so pretty and pathetic. the way he wells up with tears and hitches his breath is. adorable. he whispers "thank you... ah..." every time he feels that good and by the time he cums it's just falling from him like a waterfall :( the more comfortable he feels, though, the sluttier he can get... he will always be a good boy but i think he lets his whore side come out every once in a while <3

sungchan

last but most certainly not least, yet ANOTHER boy who pains me to the core. i think sungchan whimpers too. THERE I SAID IT. his cock is too big for his own good so he just... needs you to do SOMETHING to him :( he always sighs at first, maybe hissing just a little but then he gets to a point where he's quietly whimpering because he just needs to cum so fucking bad <//3 "need it... p-please..." he's always nervous to use titles but if he wants to cum he has no choice :( when his dom asks please who? he blushes bright red n mumbles a little "please mommy/daddy... 'm so good..." and god yes he is he deserves it so much ugh<33333333333333

[the-sara-voe]

How I think the BAU Team sleeps at night

Inspired by this post by @criminalmindsismynextfoundfamily

First of all, none of them sleep good except for maybe Garcia but that is once in a blue moon.

Hotchner: Sleeps on his back, head facing the door or the window cuz he is always alert for trouble. Has his right arm bent up to support his head while he sleeps (it’s either underneath the pillow or directly under his head). Pajamas of choice are a gray Hanes T-shirt and long flannel pajama pants (gray/blue NEVER RED). Scrolls through social media feed when he can’t sleep.

Morgan: Also sleeps on his back, but definitely falls asleep naked or shirtless with boxer briefs. Invested in high thread count satin sheets cuz he likes to make an impression. Is a human heater, so only sleeps with a sheet on his body. When a lady is not asleep on his chest, he cradles a pillow to simulate the feeling. Garcia has seen this and mocks him for it.

Garcia: Sleeps in a nest of pillows and blankets. Sleeps in a nightgown cuz she’s classy. Makes sure that Sergio has space to cuddle with her in her small fort. Makes herself a cup of chamomile before bed, and sleeps with her door closed but has a fun night light.

JJ: Sleeps on her side in sleep shorts and a cami tank top. Hair in a bun always. Also has a pillow between her legs for ideal alignment and a pillow to hug. May do yoga before bed. Sleeps with the door open and has ocean sounds playing to help her sleep.

Emily: Insomniac. Doesn’t really sleep. Will pass out on the couch after watching reruns of I Love Lucy and eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Go to sleepware is black sweatpants and whatever tank top works.

Spencer: Sleeps curled up in a ball like a cat. Definitely takes a melatonin supplement to wind his brain down.  Sometimes clings to a pillow if he had a hard day. Often doesn’t have the energy to put on pajamas but when he does he wears a casual, navy, long-sleeve long-pant pajama set.

Rossi: Probably sleeps the best out of everybody cuz he’s expensive. Has such a pricey mattress so exclusive no one has even heard of the brand. Also sleeps on his back, hella sunken into his bed, and snores (big open-mouth breather). Usually has a drink to unwind and sleeps in a silk robe.

Gideon: The man never, and I mean NEVER sleeps. Probably doesn’t even own pajamas.

Tara: Like Rossi, has a drink to unwind. Sleeps in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Probably falls asleep sitting up because she is reading a good article and/or book like the class act she is. Will complain of neck pain if not well-rested. Falls asleep to music but idk what genre.

Luke: Bed hog. Full on starfishes. Will kick you out of bed. He also snores. Wears athletic basketball-type shorts and an old t-shirt to bed (mainly in case Roxy needs to go outside at night). The type to only have one pillow on an entire king-sized bed. Drools in his sleep. (Luke is a textbook Himbo do not try to debate this)

Matt: A polite sleeper. Last one to bed cuz everyone needs to have their teeth brushed and water glasses full. Sleeps on his side facing the door so if his kids have a nightmare he’s the first to respond. But will steal the blanket. Also gets in *the mood* at night so he may do the deed before sleep or wake up in the middle of the night for it. Falls asleep in boxers and a t-shirt.

Elle: She sleeps on her stomach, her arms underneath her pillow. Wears a sexy, lingerie-esc chemise to bed, always black. If she is awakened by whoever they will wish they poked and actual bear.

[virghogh]

NCT Birth Charts x Hexaco Results Analyses pt. 2

recently NCT Dream were on a new reality show called Mental Training Camp where they are doing a variety of activities and all of their behavior and interactions are being analyzed by professional psychologists.

ofc my virgo sun mercury ass was thrilled and I had their birth charts pulled up the whole time to cross reference.

I wanted to share some of my personal thoughts on how the 2 might connect!

p.s. Thank u for all the likes on part one !!<3

part 1 // part 2 // part 3

**key: in the hexaco charts the blue represents the Dreamies, the orange is an average result of 300 college students who took the same test**

Renjun - “An artist down to the bones”

✨aries sun // scorpio moon // pisces mercury // pisces venus // taurus mars✨

can i just start with a wow cause!! This title is so bold and what they continued to talk about with him, and when looking at his chart... there is much to unpack here so let’s get into it

they started off his analysis focusing on how much of an “artist” he is. They said 2 qualities a great artists needs is openness and emotionality and he scored way above average in those areas, and the highest of those in his whole group. Looking at his placements I think anyone could tell this person is highly creative. With his 2 pisces placements and water moon in scorpio. There’s a lot more going on with that moon sign than just creativity, but it is a common trait amongst water moons!

I feel like his water energy is responsible for more of his imagination? If you watch a lot of NCT content you can see just how imaginative Renjun is. Especially in the relay vlogs when he was taking us through his art all I could think was wow this guy has crazy (good) imagination! the reason I mention this is because he has a taurus mars. taurus is ruled by venus where we get a lot of our creativity from and it’s a known thing that taurus placements always bring natural creativity. I really think the combination of water imagination with taurus art is a beautiful combo.

 On top of his natural talent in creativity and imagination, scorpio moons absolutely need an outlet. He was truly blessed with placements that give him that outlet <3 They mentioned he could be a poet and scorpio moons are always being recommended to write poetry. His art is essential to his mental and emotional health. 

something really interesting is how they mentioned that mark has traditional leader energy, but Renjun has a “mother-like” leader energy. I thought that was so sweet and really accurate for him. They mentioned how throughout the intro he would scan the others eyes a lot and make contact very subconsciously and with ease. Taking everyone into account. I see this a lot in his 2 pisces placements. I feel like a lot of pisces makes someone very sensitive, in-tune with people and caring/compassionate. And with the slower, calmer taurus mars it gives him a gentle approach. He has this strong bull/ram influence from his aries sun and mars, his driving forces, that gives him initiative and a strong voice. when these 2 connect I feel like it makes a mom bear kind of thing. 

They also said it seems when he scans like that he is almost analyzing and observing, “gathering opinions”. Scorpio moons have hawk eyes, they’re always observing micro-actions and reactions. He is mostly observing with care so he can pay attention and accommodate! But I think having a scorpio moon just makes him naturally tune in to people a lot more and gives him a sharper eye. 

I wanted to put him and Jisung in the same post because they’re both scorpio moon kings, and I wanted to talk about how this really intense moon sign plays out in 2 very different people. I have a scorpio moon too, so seeing 2 idols I like with their own scorpios moons is very interesting to me! 

at one point the psychologists verbal report took a turn and all i could think about was that scorpio moon! After they finished telling him about his artists traits, they said “there is one thing you should look out for”, and it was that people like him tend to get lonely easily and often/a lot and Renjun quickly agreed! They said that since he’s with good friends a lot, it helps, but in the future he could get very lonely and experience it more than the average person. This is so textbook scorpio moon I honestly felt like he was speaking right to me and my scorpio moon for a second. From one scorpio moon to another, I’m so glad he has people around him. 

then they asked him when he typically gets lonely the most and he responded with “it just comes to be out of the blue” u poor scorpio moon bb😭. I don’t know how serious he was about this word but he said he will be depressed on the nicest days sometimes. 

there was another story Mark was telling thin time about Renjun. They went out to a meal together on a beautiful day and Mark comments on how nice out it is and Renjun just responds with “I’m depressed”. There are so many traits of his scorpio moon coming through here. With the moon being in such an intense, deep and dark sign, it is in detriment here. It’s a really rough placement for your emotions. Water moons in general are known for being quite moody and sulky, sometimes it just comes out of nowhere and very randomly. There doesn’t always have to be a trigger. I feel like his pisces-scorpio are really like teaming up a lot when it comes to his expressions and emotions. 

In the last post I mentioned how I think Jeno and Mark are lucky to have fire moons because they could get really hard on themselves or down/depressed if they had earth or water moons. Renjun is a good example of what I meant. With his Taurus mars, earth signs are known for being down and hard on themselves a lot and I think the combination of a earth mars and scorpio moon is tough. taurus likes to be alone a lot too and I could see him maybe in the future develop a tendency to isolate when he’s having a scorpio moon moment and feels like the world is ending (again, being around people must be really helping him). I also see his aries sun maybe being another way to help express that scorpio moon. It might feel less like he has to keep all of these scorpio feelings to himself, it’s easier for him to let it out. It’s also worth noting that having a scorpio moon and taurus mars means they’re in opposition! Giving him even more depth and intensity. 

as for the hexaco chart, based off just his chart I don’t know if I would have guessed his openness was that high with his scorpio and taurus?? But other than that I think his hexaco is very spot on for him! His agreeableness is slightly below average👀 umm yes hi aries sun and fixed moon and mars. His extroversion is pretty much average but that average to me tells me someone is more on the extroverted side or maybe in the middle? Being in the middle would make sense to me because I think he definitely has potential to isolate. I’m curious to see what his houses are! I’ve seen a lot of talk that he’s a cancer rising and I buy it because it would put his sun in 10th, and moon in 5th but that’s a whole other topic...

That emotionality is wonderfully high. His openness and expression/ reactions are one of my favorite things about him. He’s truly a little aries hot head at times. I feel like aries in big 6 often gives this kind of ease with expression and straightforwardness like I was saying about mark. Similar to Chenle though, I think even though Renjun is open, he isn’t an open book and has his deep thoughts and secrets. I see his openness more in that he will always be there for people and listen/help peoples problems. He’s the kind of person to meet someone and if he can tell they’re struggling he’d offer his ear or shoulder even if they’re not close. He’s welcoming. 

tldr; has intense imagination and creative abilities, he is very welcoming, compassionate, attentive and caring. Mom vibes. He is very moody and gets down a lot, his friends and artistic expression are essential. He is very expressive, passionate and hot headed but has a lot of patience.

Jisung - “Shy Perfectionist” 

✨aquarius sun // scorpio moon // aquarius mercury // aquarius venus // aries mars✨

Jisungs section in this show was reallyyy short they didn’t say much and moved on kinda quick😅 I’ll be honest Jisung has always kinda confused me especially when I try to understand his chart and what i see in the videos. So not getting a lot of information from this episode either (yet! the show is ongoing) is tough

As far as the title they gave him🥺chart or no chart I think it’s a good title for him and how he appears in content and stuff he is true baby. In their verbal report they basically just said he’s shy and then talked a lot about how he has very good “follower” qualities. They were saying having a good follower is also a really important quality in a group though. And jisung agreed with what they were saying. That’s pretty much all we got from them😅

Honestly if I could only have one members guaranteed full chart I’d want it to be Jaemins or Jisungs because Jisung has an aquarius stellium! And the house it’s in could tell us so much more about him. Typically when I think of or meet aquarius I don’t pin them as a shy type? I could see some of them preferring to stick to themselves but they still operate pretty well in social situations. So Jisung’s painfully shy personality we see is interesting to me. Where I definitely do see his aqua and scorpio working together is in how anxious and nervous he is. He’s a worrier too and has admitted it. Also I’ve heard the combination of aquarius and scorpio makes someone intensely intuitive to future events, so I feel like if jisung is unaware of this gift it could contribute to his high anxiety. Maybe he gets feelings of “something bad is about to happen” a lot for seemingly no reason👀

Another very aquarius trait is of course they’re weirdooos through and through! And what I’ve noticed about the aquarius weird trait is how many different kinds of weird there are because aquarians are always weird in such different ways. I definitely think Jisung is a weird guy, or quirky? You can almost see the gears grinding in his head when he’s contemplating and then he’ll do something “weird” after that! Weird, or just off beat. And what I love about the way jisungs lil aquarius mind works is you can tell those weird moments are purely just how he really is and thinks, and it’s not to be funny or for the cameras, he just processes information and thinks completely different from everyone else. 

Since we know jisung is shy I feel like a lot of his aquarius and scorpio mood comes out off camera so we won’t get to see that side! But I’m sure it’s there.

I think Jisung’s scorpio moon is a good example of how different it can be. To go from a very emotionally charged chart to one that is being dominated by air is quite different. With Renjun, I was talking about how his water and fire give him the ability to be in touch with and express his scorpio moon more. But with an air dominant chart I feel like hinders that ability and creates a more detached person. Not that he’s cold, not emotional, or not compassionate. But just that he probably prefers to “just not think” about certain stressful or emotional topics. But the problem with that is it doesn’t mean emotions are gone and scorpio is very hard to ignore, so he’s probably internalizing a lot of stuff v deeply or is surprised when emotions come, what feels like, out of nowhere,.. Jisung also has an aries mars though! I feel like the openness of the aries mars combining with the detachment of Aquarius sun could also contribute to sudden releases of emotion🤔 but be back to normal in minutes

I also wanna add that I feel like jisungs very follower personality and ability to just kinda let things happen or not take charge must be a result of the industry and being the maknae tbh, or it at least accentuated it 

For the hexaco chart I really want to comment on how high the honesty-humility is! In the first part I mentioned how aquarius and aries can be quite righteous signs. So this trait must be really played up in his chart because it seems he cares a lot about following the rules (could also be a result of industry). His emotionality is higher than average! For his chart I don’t know if I would have expected that but from watching him I think it totally lines up, maybe his aries mars is proving more of an outlet. 

I also wanna finish by adding that jisung is still super young and has been in this “baby” position for most of his life, and is literally the youngest out of a 23 person group lol and grew up in the industry so there’s more going on with that than just astrology <3

tldr; very shy, anxious and nervous, intuitive, an oddball, his community is important and helpful to him, easily reactive, but not very emotionally expressive, he’s level-headed, has a lot of growing to do🥺<3

part 3 coming soon!

feedback and thoughts are always welcome!

[nightmaremybeloved]

because its going to be awhile before sbi are mentioned in my vampire the masquerade au, i really want to do just a quick little profile on them because i think they’re quirky and fun. so here’s wonderwall i guess:

tommy is a lasombra. the easiest way to describe lasombra is...well, there isn’t a super easy way to describe them. they command the shadows (obviously), but the reasons ive given this clan to tommy are because of the lasombra’s connections to ghosts (called wraiths in the world of darkness) and the church (church of prime reference ayo). other important thing to note, that i dont see as spoilers, is tommy’s sire is actually dream...so if you’ve read and call them brothers you’ll have a little more of an idea on how the clan lasombra operates (wont go into detail about tommy and dream’s relationship in this au because it’ll be something heavily covered in the main story). he’s the au’s little fledgling (read: punching bag) and is more or less the introduction into exactly what vampire society is for the audience. at least in the context of l’manburg vampire society. going to move on because if im not careful i will run into spoilers, because tommy’s journey is kind of the whole point of his point of view.

wilbur is a toreador. and if you know anything about vampire you know that that man, in and out of character, is the most toreador a person can be. when you think of toreador you’re first thought is usually twilight vampires...then you remember twilight vampires are just anne rice vampires with conservative values and less weaknesses and amend that thought. toreadors love art, they love music, they love humanity for what it creates and what they do with life. some would say they’re the most human of the clans, i’d say they’re the clan that romanticizes humanity the most. wilbur isn’t an incredibly old vampire, though he’ll insist he made l’manburg what it was before being forced to flee and needless to say he’s spending this au trying to get back what he’s owed, what was his to begin with. there’s a fun mix of l’manburg revolution era wilbur and pogtopia wilbur in this version that’s fun to play with. who’s to say what his motivations are? or who’ll get hurt in the process. another pov character so im keeping it short with him as well.

techno is a brujah. okay, okay, hang on i know this one doesn’t make much sense, let me change something: techno is a true brujah. look, there’s no way to confirm or deny in vtm canon if true brujah are even real, but if they are? technoblade is the textbook. the blueprint. brujah are the proud and reckless, the philosopher kings, the original anarchists. techno’s a little special in the sense that, true brujah are a bit more reserved, emphasis more on the philosopher than the kings part. but he’s had a desolate and bloody path as a vampire, before meeting phil and reigning in what little humanity he had left. techno is definitely one of the characters with the least amount of humanity, which probably sounds crazy to anyone who doesn’t know how vtm is played, but rest assured it doesn’t mean he’s an unfeeling and unrelenting monster that’s cutting down people in the streets. techno as a vampire is reserved, he’s learning how to live again, he’s trying his hardest to make fighting NOT apart of who he is. but in wod, that’s a bit of a challenge. he’s also been given a seat of power which isn’t helping his attempts to keep out of conflict. another fun tidbit i’ll mention, as techno is not a pov character like tommy and wilbur, he’s equipped with his voices in this one. and for those of you who know a thing or two about a thing or two, let’s just say he’s tuned into the radio station that hosts the madness network.

phil is a gangrel. and he’s one of my favorite side characters (probably because im a philza minecraft stan deep down). gangrels are the more bestial of the clans, they’re literally in tune with their beast. and besides that, phil has his murder of bloodbonded crows to spy for him all over the city, which is another perk of clan gangrel. he can also turn into a bird. which is either fun or gross depending on who you ask. phil is definitely what i would consider an elder vampire (haha, get it, elder. he’s old) and has been around the block quite a few times. this is what makes him the perfect...mentor character for a lot of the cast, and most importantly noted; techno. phil is the opposite of techno, his humanity is so high that if vampire enlightenment existed he would have reached it (this is another vtm joke, laugh track plays here). this isn’t to say phil’s vtm version is a good person by any means. it has a lot more to do with personal philosophy and convictions than anything else, like i said about gangrel, they really are in tune with their beast and in phil’s case, he only sees this as a good thing. he’s the epitome of being a vampire doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you more aware of the horrors one human being can inflict on another. and in a way, he’s kind of right.

im probably not going to edit these paragraphs because they were just something fun for me to do. because i adore this au, but it’s really slow going. a lot of the major players aren’t introduced until the main story kicks off and its going to be awhile before i get to that point lmao. anyways if you read this far, feel free to ask me questions, i dont mind explaining vtm/wod terminology either!

[random-thought-depository]

I never got into A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones, but like I mentioned a bit earlier the people I’m staying with have a big fancy copy of The World of Ice & Fire and I’ve been dipping into it now and then. Some impressions:

- I will start by saying something nice and observing that it’s fairly engaging at least in parts, like I did end up reading a pretty good chunk of it despite not being into the books or the show at all (not that I necessarily dislike them, I just never had a motivation to read them or watch it and aside from this book my familiarity with them is entirely by internet nerd culture osmosis).

- It’s very drum and fife history. There are definitely parts where it feels like reading that stereotypical old style of history that’s like “On July 17, 1762, Count Pompouscock saved Great Britain from the dastardly French by defeating the fleet of Marquis de Baumfauque at the Battle of Smelly Bay, but unfortunately the brilliant young Count Pompouscock’s promising career was cut short in 1776 when he was challenged to a duel by Duke Ego (reputedly over uncomplimentary remarks Count Pompouscock had made about the body odor of Duke Ego’s favorite mistress), and died of a stress-induced heart attack on the field of honor.” Even much maligned basic American public school history textbooks don’t look like this anymore! I guess it’s only to be expected considering the genre, and I suppose it’d probably be more meaningful if you were a fan of the show and/or the books, for whom I guess stuff like “the untold backstories of House Stark and Lannister and Targaryen” would be exactly the sort of thing you’d want out of a book like this.

That said I enjoyed some of the little biographies of the Targaryen kings, especially the ones that were, like, kind of weird and interesting like Baelor the Pious.

Also lol at discovering that Tumblr’s autocorrect knows the “correct” spelling of Targaryen, you know your fantasy setting has made it when stuff like that happens!

- I feel it’s also definitely got a bit of a “speculative fiction writers have no sense of scale with time” issue in parts. Like it starts off the description of House Stark by telling us that they’ve supposedly more-or-less ruled the North for eight thousand years and, uh... OK, first of all, that’s like four times longer than the longest-running dynasty on Earth (the Japanese Emperor), and the Japanese Imperial dynasty only managed to last that long by special circumstances that included being worth keeping around as figureheads while other people were actually running the country. Also, this reminds me of a criticism I remember reading on a forum, that in the books and the show we see an unstable political landscape and we see the big noble families having high attrition, and that really doesn’t fit with the idea that these noble houses have been ruling for many centuries or even millennia, a few centuries of the kind of stuff we see happening in the show/books should be enough to radically change the political landscape (at least in terms of who the rulers are if not necessarily in terms of institutions). Granted the show and books show a period of unusually intense strife and chaos, but in a thousand years there would be a lot of those.

I guess it might work if they go by bilateral descent and, like, House Stark has enough prestige that usually one of the first things a victorious conqueror or usurper will do is marry a Stark so their children can claim the Stark mantle? I think this would work better if the Starks were, like, god-kings or something, but skimming over the section on the North I didn’t get that impression, they seem like fairly typical secular-ish rulers.

Or, like, it says it took the Andals a thousand years to get around to invading the Iron Islands, and I’m like, what? A thousand years is a very long time! By a thousand years after the invasion the Andals probably wouldn’t exist as a coherent ethnic group anymore, you’d probably have a situation like we see in the “present day” where almost everyone living south of the Neck is an Andal or no-one is an Andal, depending on how you define it.

Also, “Westeros is the size of South America” really does not seem right, even accounting for the fact that they effectively have air-mail (ravens and dragons). It makes a lot more sense if Westeros is more like the size of western Europe or India (not counting the lands beyond the Wall).  Also, I feel like paying attention to dragons mostly as weapons kind of misses the biggest advantage a group that has them might have in an otherwise Medieval world, like I think it’d be cool if they said something about Aegon the Conqueror’s real killer advantage over the Westerosi being that he had aerial reconnaissance and air-mail and could coordinate armies and logistics and just be aware of what was going on at a scale that native Westerosi rulers and generals could only dream of (would work best if the raven system was also a Valyrian invention the Targaryens brought with them).

- One thing that seems kind of interesting to me about it is it looks kind of like a history where Europe was on the receiving end of a lot of the bad stuff that in our world it inflicted on the rest of the world. The setting’s equivalent of Christianity was brought to Westeros with fire and sword by invaders from across the sea! And the Targaryen conquest gives me a vibe kind of like the Conquistadors if they didn’t have a Spain to tie their rule culturally and institutionally to the homeland (Dragonstone sounds more like a strategically located city state, like before they conquered Westeros they had something kind of like the Portuguese empire in Africa and Asia but without the Portugal), and the most interesting thing I can think of to do with it would be to lean into that hard.

Like, there’s a bit where it talks about one of the early Targaryen kings pulling down the Westerosi equivalent of a cathedral and building a stable for his dragons in its place and fighting a long series of brutal conflicts against Westerosi Sevenist religious orders and I’m like ... wait, were the Targaryens Sevenists at the time of the conquest? Because if not, it would make a ton of sense if dragons were sacred animals in whatever religion they followed before that, and if I look at that incident that way it looks kind of like that thing the Spanish would do in the New World where they’d pull down a native temple and build a cathedral right over its ruins. Which would fit with this period also looking like a time when the conquerors were trying to break the power of the native religious institutions because they were a huge source of anti-Targaryen sentiment/solidarity (obviously ultimately this didn’t work and the conquerors eventually gave up and by Baelor the Pious’s time had converted to Westerosi Crystal Dragon Christianity themselves).

Like, seen from this angle Prince Rhaegar participating in a tournament and doing Medieval courtly love stuff seems more interesting as it’s kind of like some distant descendant of Cortez participating in a Maya ceremonial ball game.

This makes me think of something I observed in a post a while back, that it’s interesting that the Spanish conquests in the New World happened at basically the same time as the Protestant reformation, at the very time that vast new territories were being brought under the influence of the Catholic church the church’s thousand-year religious hegemony in western Europe was falling apart, and these were products of the same process of technological advance, military and transport innovations were giving Catholic Spain dominion over vast chunks of the New World while simultaneously the printing press was undermining the Catholic church’s religious hegemony at home, the terrible world-shaping moment of military strength at the periphery was a product of the same process that was creating a world-shaping moment of weakness in the core. Which... I think it’d have been cool if instead of a magical/natural disaster, the Doom of Valyria was basically just a version of that. Like, just make Valyria during or shortly before Aegon the Conqueror’s time basically early modern Europe (with dragons and ravens their equivalent of guns and trans-Atlantic sailing ships and printing presses), all set to inflict the sixteenth century on the rest of its world, but then at the very moment when its armies were advancing on all fronts and conquering giant swathes of the world it got hit by its version of the Protestant Reformation, it tore itself apart in religious and ideological wars, and the homeland Valyrians have spent the last few centuries too busy fighting religious and ideological wars against each other to conquer the world. You can throw in the same thing happening to their dragons that happened to the Targaryen dragons; they’re really too slow-breeding and therefore demographically vulnerable to be a robust basis for a military revolution, and the Valyrian equivalent of the religious wars of the sixteenth and seventeenth century killed them faster than they could breed and now they’re more-or-less extinct and the Valyrians have blown their big chance to drag the world into something like the early modern period because now the “killer app” their military revolution was built on is gone (and sophisticated raven-based air-mail has diffused widely, see; the Westerosi have it now).

- I like how things get weirder as you get farther away from Westeros, like the Westeros bits of the book are relatively “hard” fantasy without too much weird stuff, but then as you get to the farther parts of Essos it turns into this gonzo weird fantasy setting with Neanderthals and weird fucked up reproductive hierarchy dystopia Amazons and so on, and it’s not clear if this is an actual pattern that exists in this setting or if it’s just a result of the supposed in-universe writers of the text having less information about farther parts of the world so the gap gets filled with mythology and tall tales. Though I think if I were editing this book I’d probably have left Yi Ti on the cutting room floor, like it’s basically just fantasy China and doesn’t really seem to have much going for it besides that and I feel like that just makes the whole section feel more awkwardly Orientalist and it would be better if they just focused on the straight-up weird stuff that doesn’t really have firm Earthly precedent.

- I approve of the job they did with the last (“mad” and very bad) Targaryen king. I’m generally not really a fan of “lol they’re insane” as a motivation, and, like... I enjoy jokes about how their privilege-maintaining uterine politics and narcissistic eugenicist desire for blood purity resulted in old-time aristocrats being super-inbred, but I’m not sure I’d be totally comfortable with “yeah, he was insane cause his family tree is a ladder and his brain was mush from the inbreeding” as a characterization which would have been an obvious route to go here, feels kind of implicitly ableist in a way I’m not super-comfortable with and also it’d be kind of lazy (if you just write up an antagonist’s acts to some spontaneous internal “insanity” it spares you having to think about the logic behind them, you can basically just make them do stuff for the evulz). So I liked how if you read between the lines a bit they really made it sound like this guy’s problem was mostly a toxic combination of privilege and trauma. Like, initially he was just a flighty dreamer, sounds to me more like he might have had ADHD and maybe mild autism than anything else, but then he started resenting that people saw him as a puppet of his more competent right-hand man and started doing the opposite of what that guy would advise him to do as a way of showing his independence and making a lot of bad decisions as a side effect of that, and then he walked into a trap and spent a while as a prisoner and after being rescued and restored to the throne got increasingly paranoid and sadistic and antisocial and unable to act like a normal human being, if I read between the lines pretty obviously as a result of being traumatized by that experience.

I think a good microcosm of that was that after his captivity and rescue he forbade anyone touching him, reading between the lines because being touched was a trigger for him, but I guess he’d always had basic hygiene stuff done for him by servants (I’m reminded of this film I once watched about the last Emperor of China where when he was in a communist labor camp after being deposed his former servant still had to do stuff like button his shirt and tie his shoes because he’d never been taught how), and I guess he was too proud to get someone to teach him how to do basic self-care, so he ended up turning into a horrifying unwashed gremlin with long matted hair and beard and super-long claw-like nails who probably reeked.

Like, he was an awful person and an awful king but it was easy to feel at least a little bit sorry for him and there was a clear implicit logic to how he got like that.

[slytherinsnekxvii]

this isn't my best work, but it's still pretty good for something i wrote when i was 15 after having a half a year of writer's block. anyways, ahem, presenting the fic in which severus says fuck it after the lake incident and just doesn't go back to hogwarts but potentially gets dragged into the war anyway despite living in the muggle world for like,, three years, part 1 (aka the only chapter i wrote bc my writer's block came back oops):

It starts simply, like most things do. It starts with a few words, tossed out without care and full of childish conviction. It escalates to brawls in the corridors and duels in the dungeons--if you could even call them that when it was four-on-one and most encounters left him reeling. It continues until he's twitchy and hypervigilant and awkward, always on the lookout for an attack, ready to bite before anyone could bite him.

It ends much the same. The events leading up to this are a production fit for the theatre, if the crowd is anything to by, but the ending itself is quite simple. Gasping for air near the shore of the Black Lake and battling a headache that hurts almost as much as the sharp press of his heart at the thought of what he'd done to Lily, he simply gives up. He picks himself up, tells himself this is the end of it and goes about collecting his belongings.

His wand comes to his hand easily enough with a mumbled Accio. His bag does, as well. Its contents, on the other hand, have to be collected by hand. His textbooks and ink are strewn beneath the tree, mostly, but the loose parchment and his quill are lost to the wind. He snatches up what he can find before someone gets it into their head to come further humiliate him and turns to head back into into the castle. Only to be smacked in the face by a bound sheaf of parchment and a quill. It's suspicious, and he's tempted to burn it then and there. It's his, but they were definitely scattered about the grounds two seconds ago. He doesn't burn it. He hesitates, puts it in his bag and returns to the castle, intent on making his way to Gryffindor Tower.

The apology doesn't go well. Lily isn't interested, refuses to hear it. He returns to the Slytherin dorms, drops into his bed and thanks Merlin that they'll be going home soon. Cokeworth is God-awful, but at least there's only one man trying to kill him there and only one woman for him to disappoint.

So, he waits it out. Spends his final classes looking over his shoulder and staring blankly at his parchment every time he remembers that they tried to kill him and they humiliated him and they got away with both. He shrinks into himself, avoiding the corridors at all costs, skipping meals to avoid being in the Great Hall and spends as much time as possible in the Library and the dusty old Potions Lab on the Fourth Floor that no one knows about, losing himself in research so he doesn't have to interact with his Housemates. He sits alone at the Leaving Feast, refuses to touch his plate until Evan Rosier falls into the seat next to him and bothers him into eating. The Headmaster dismisses them, says that they'll see each other come September and lets them filter out onto the train.

He ends up sharing a compartment with Mulciber, Avery and Rosier even though he's barely spoken to any of them since the incident. Evan needles him about everything and nothing the whole way to King's Cross, and when they get there, Evan claps him on shoulder and that's goodbye.

He gathers up his things, goes to meet his mother so they can Apparate home and not waste what little money they have on transport. Eileen's cheeks are sunken, her arms rail thin, her dress loose-fitting. He'd still rather see her than anyone even loosely affiliated with Hogwarts. She nods at him, he nods back. They go home.

He spends his summer making himself useful. He does odd jobs for the neighbours, is grudgingly polite to his father, takes care of his mother. By the time term rolls around, people are talking about that Snape boy. Strange, and quiet, too, but he works well, doesn't he? September first dawns bright and early, and Severus doesn't go back to Hogwarts.

He studies at home instead, nose buried in his mum's old books. He plants the few ingredients he has hidden away in his trunk at the back of the house and uses what grows to brew medicines and weedkillers and anything he can think of after experimenting a bit. Mr. and Mrs. Smith down the street both swear up and down he's working magic on their little garden and their old bones.

He feeds cats, delivers packages for the grocer, takes tables and nightstands home to cast Reparo on. Someone tells the pub owner about him, and the next thing he knows, he's frying chips and learning how to mix drinks even though the most complicated thing anyone ever orders is a pint of the beer that they have on tap.

It's not a bad existence. Eventually, slowly, his mother starts coming back to herself. She takes over the brewing when he isn't around. Annotates his annotations and even makes a trip to Diagon Alley for more ingredients to add to their garden when Severus forgets to write Narcissa to ask her to send a few more.

Severus is old enough now to drag his father home from the pub behind him when he's done working. One evening, they come home and Tobias nearly trips over the end table that Severus is meant to be fixing for Mr. Williams three houses up. Severus works his wand out of his boot and goes to cast a spell, but Tobias grumbles and bats his hand away. Drunk as he is, he still digs out his toolbox and gets to work. The job turns out almost decent.

By December, Severus is at the pub, feeding cats on his break and making deliveries when he has the time. Eileen is brewing and Tobias is doing carpenter's work fixing and building wardrobes, cupboards, cabinets and everything else. It keeps him busy enough that some days he doesn't see a drink at all. It's not much, but there's a little food on the table at the end of each day, and Severus thinks that he's probably better off than he would have been at Hogwarts.

Sometime around Christmas, his mother talks him into getting a Muggle education and writing his NEWTs. He writes the O-Levels for his Muggle exams in January. They're a breeze, given how well-read he is. He sees Petunia at the store shortly after, and she sneers vaguely in his direction. He hears her condescending voice in the back of his head and decides to sit the A-Levels in May out of spite.

His birthday comes and goes, the NEWTs come right after and he aces each and every one of the written exams. The practicals are spread out across the following weeks, and he's leaving the Ministry after his last exam to find that the date coincides with that of a field trip for the Sixth Years at Hogwarts.

He watches them a little, tearing his gaze away after he catches sight of a tanned arm draped over a shoulder touched by a red braid. The students mill near the doors for a while and so, Severus looks around for escape routes, eyes skipping hurriedly from door to door until they rest on a Ravenclaw who'd also taken the January NEWTs. All kinds of people had been there, adults who hadn't passed when they were younger and needed to retake the exams to get jobs, teenagers who had family fortunes waiting for them whose parents wanted them to at least look like they were competent, and overachievers--like Severus assumed the Ravenclaw was--who wanted to know where they stood before the actual exam. He jerks his chin toward another door, this one proclaiming to lead to the "Apparition Division". Severus nods once at him and makes his way toward it.

There's a one-day course for Apparition, apparently. The woman at the receptionist desk doesn't even bother looking at him, just points him in the direction of the Training Room with her nail file. He stays for nearly the rest of the day, until they're finally done. He gets his license and is quietly pleased to see that the building is nearly devoid of life when he leaves. He goes home.

May and June come around and bring with them the A-Levels. He finds them only marginally more challenging than his O-Levels and returns to his routine. It's a nice routine, which takes him all the way through to July of the next year when Lily starts coming in with Black and Potter and Pettigrew and Lupin. The first time it happens, he leaves the counter so fast that the patron he'd just given a glass of water to is convinced he teleported. He's already taken his regular break to go feed Mrs. Jones' cats, so he steps into the kitchen and tells Jimmy he's taking a smoke break. Jimmy snorts and reminds him that he doesn't smoke.

He fidgets, trying to think up a way to avoid going back out, when the ruckus they're making makes Jimmy look through the little window and see the lot of them crowded around a little table. He gets a peculiar look on face for a bit, before he asks Severus if they have something to do with why he doesn't go to his fancy school anymore. He doesn't need an answer, just tells him to keep an eye on the food and steps out to man the counter. Severus stays late, frying chips and washing dishes until the early hours of the morning when Jimmy pats him on the back and kicks him out.

It keeps up until September comes around, and by then, Severus has taken so many smoke breaks that he's actually started smoking. He keeps smoking long after they're gone.

He goes back to his routine until it's broken again by a letter that comes by owl. It's a short letter, coming from a Potions Master whose apprentice had been overseeing the exams. It claims that his work was the best either of them had seen in years and after asking around, they'd found that he was unbound to any Master and was highly recommended by the Malfoys. It ends with an offer. Severus would think himself foolish not to accept, so, he does. After that, two days a week are dedicated to Flooing to Master Diogene's laboratory to fulfil the requirements of his apprenticeship. It finds its own little nook in his routine and so he continues until June of 1980.

He's preparing to go to the pub when there's a knock at the door. It's not so uncommon anymore, so he thinks nothing of it, only that he hopes it doesn't take too long. His shift starts in half an hour. He pushes his shirt sleeves up to his elbows, where they perpetually are these days, and decides he'll roll them up properly later. He opens the door.

"Good afternoon," a very pregnant Lily says, and standing next to her is the Ravenclaw from the Ministry, back straight, arms clasped behind his back, his entire being alert.

"Good afternoon," he replies, awkward. After a long moment of silence, he asks, "Can I help you?"

"Depends on whether or not you let us in," she says.

Wordlessly, he steps aside, sliding the three pairs of shoes nearer to the wall in order to let them pass. "Do you want tea?"

"No," she says, at the exact same time her Auror friend says, "Thank you."

He gestures them into the little kitchen, where they sit at the little table where he and his mother and his father take their meals. He tugs his wand out of his boot, flicks it so that the cauldron bubbling away on the stove scoots aside but doesn't spill. The burner beneath lights on its own. He puts the kettle, already full, on to boil. "So," he begins, absentmindedly rolling up his sleeves. "Is there something you need from me?"

Lily smiles, strained. "Can't I just visit an old friend?"

"Sure," he says, quietly. "You made it very clear that you would prefer if we weren't, though."

Her expression twists. "And with good reason," she grits.

He says nothing. The kettle whistles. He searches for the boxes of tea, sets about mixing two cups of mint. He puts them both on a tray with milk and sugar, as well as the small container of honey kept for special occasions. He puts it on the table.

"I'm sorry."

She doesn't say anything, just watches him with bright, green eyes aflame with old anger. She picks up one of the teacups and starts doctoring it to her liking. Her Auror friend follows suit. It really is obvious, Severus thinks, watching the man scan the room from top to bottom, corner to corner. He sighs. "Why are you here, Lily?"

She glares at her tea. The Auror shifts uncomfortably. Severus sighs again. "You know, when people visit old friends, they usually don't bring Aurors with them."

"Trainee, actually. This is my last year." He grins sheepishly. "That obvious?"

Severus nods.

He leans over the table, stretches out a hand. His right, Severus notices. He leans over and shakes with his left.

"Kingsley Shacklebolt," the Auror trainee introduces himself.

"Severus Snape, but you already knew that."

"Ah, yes. Of course."

Lily continues to glare at her tea. Shacklebolt fidgets. Severus stares, adjusts the heat on the burner below the cauldron. Silence prevails. The door creaks open, just then, and Eileen comes in, stirring rod in hand. "You'll be late if--oh," she says, noticing their guests. "Good afternoon."

"Good afternoon," the other three respond with varying degrees of enthusiasm.

"Well, if it isn't Lily Evans. It's been quite a while, hasn't it? You look well," Eileen says, nudging her son out of the way so she can poke at the mixture in the cauldron.

"You as well," Lily mumbles. "And it's, ah, it's Potter now, actually. Lily Evans Potter."

"Ah, I see. My mistake. Congratulations are in order, then, Mrs. Potter."

"Congratulations," Severus echoes.

"And you're a Shacklebolt, yes?" Eileen continues, her hands methodically sprinkling ground lavender into the cauldron. "Elodie's son, I should think. You resemble her quite a bit."

"Yes, ma'am," the trainee replies. "Grandmother says I'm nearly a carbon copy."

Eileen hums, lowers the heat under the cauldron. She takes out the stirring rod, examining the clinging lavender paste before wiping it off and placing it on the counter. "I suppose I'll leave you it, though Doris just passed, and she said that Jimmy has a full house, so, do try to hurry. It's already nearly four."

"Yes, Mam."

She leaves, and once more, silence settles over the small kitchen. Severus looks at the clock on the wall, sees that it does, indeed, say that it's minutes to four. Eleven minutes, to be exact, and it's a ten minute walk to the pub. He starts gathering the tea things, has just taken Shacklebolt's empty teacup when Lily clears her throat.

"Are you a Death Eater?" she asks.

"No," Severus tells her, and takes her teacup. Ten minutes to four.

"Prove it," she says, glaring.

Severus sets down the tray and leans across the table, arms outstretched, palms up, forearms exposed. The skin on either arm is pale, smooth and utterly unmarked, save and except for the scars one is bound to get when their preferred work involves knives and hot cauldrons.

"You keep regular contact with Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy, as well as Regulus Black and Evan Rosier, all of whom are suspected Death Eaters. Why?"

Severus' eyes narrow. "Lucius is sponsoring my Potions Mastery. Narcissa, for whatever reason, enjoys my conversation. Regulus and Evan both seem to think that I'll drop dead if I don't speak to them at least once a week and I haven't been able to disabuse them of the notion--though, not for lack of trying."

"So, you aren't planning to become a Death Eater?" Seven minutes to four.

"I'm not," Severus says, biting down on something rising in his chest. He returns the tea things to their proper places, washes the cups and sets them to dry. When he looks at them again, Lily's glare has softened into an unwavering stare.

"Are you certain?" she asks, and Severus grits his teeth.

"Oh, no, not at all. I only left the Wizarding World to live in a Muggle neighbourhood with my Muggle father, work for a Muggle and feed old ladies' cats and fix their husbands' cabinets because I thought it would make it easier for me when I decided I wanted to murder them all. Obviously," he snaps, throat closing around the words as soon they've been forced out of his mouth. His jaw clamps shut. Three minutes to four.

"You're being an a—" she starts, but then she bites her tongue. "Why... why did you leave?"

He stands silent for a moment. "Reasons I don't believe we have time to discuss. It appears that I'm late for work, I'm afraid." The clock reads three fifty-nine. By the time, he reaches the front door, it will be four o' clock. He starts walking.

"But–" Lily begins, standing.

He gestures them onto the porch while he shoves his feet into his boots. "Terribly sorry to leave in a hurry like this, but duty calls. Things to do, people to see. Enjoy your evening, Mrs. Potter. Auror Trainee Shacklebolt." Four o' clock.

"Really–"

"Until next time, Mr. Snape," Shacklebolt interjects, and with a stiff nod, he and Lily make their way towards the Apparition Point they'd used and Severus is walking down the street. He exhales, slowly, carefully at the quiet, telltale crack of Disapparition off in the distance. He picks up the pace and hopes that'll be the end of it. He knows it won't, though. Until next time, Shacklebolt said.

It isn't the end, of course. It never is. There's a knock at the door just before he's ready to leave the next afternoon, and he contemplates just not answering the door and staying at home for the foreseeable future. There's enough food to last at least a week, and he could always just tell Mrs. Havisham that he wasn't feeling well. The news would make it around the town and back within the day. The knock sounds again. He sighs and gets up to go answer it. "Can I help you?"

"Only if you want to. May I come in?" Shacklebolt asks.

Against his better judgement, Severus lets him in.