#Herb Ertlinger

[mostlyinthemorning]

Schitt's Creek Photo of the Day 78 of ???

[beyondxmeasure]

My collection of fics written for the Schitt's Creek fandom, most recent listed first. Subscribe here for new fic & chapter updates!

✨ Thanks for reading! ✨

💛��� I leaned in!

Fic Post

G | 1K | David/Patrick | Canon Divergent | Grad Night AU | Crack, Fluff & Humor

Patrick treats David to a moderately edible birthday dinner at Café Tropical and David attempts to give Patrick a memorable end to their evening. He definitely succeeds, although it might not be in the way he had hoped.

Or… The grad night kiss/Johnny & David awkward car hug mash-up that no one asked for.

🖤💛 I Am Not A Cat Burglar

Fic Post

Teen+ | 8K | David/Patrick | Coffee Shop AU | Alternate First Meeting | Fluff & Crack

After reading his text conversation with Cute Cat Guy aloud, Stevie hands David back his phone with her mouth agape.

“David! You're the one being obnoxious. He was so flirting with you. You have a date!”

“I do not have a date. We’ve set a time to exchange the cat.”

“And he asked if you’d like to go for coffee… that's a date.”

“It's a gratitude coffee.”

“It's a date.”

“It's one beverage, Stevie. Don't get excited.”

Or, David's been missing his lost cat for weeks. Her return a few days later brings something unexpected he didn't know he was looking for.

💛🖤 I had a few, got drunk on you, and now I'm wasted

Fic Post

Mature | 2K | David/Patrick | Missing Scene | Oneshot 

What happens after Patrick comes to retrieve a tipsy David from Herb Ertlinger's winery. A missing scene from Moira Rosé, season 6, episode 7.

Or... The one where a drunk David unknowingly helps Patrick finish writing his wedding vows.

🖤💛 Let Me See Your Beauty Broken Down

Fic Post

Explicit | 2K | David/Patrick | Fluff & Smut | Relationship Firsts | Patrick POV

There is something all-encompassing, in a general yet very specific sort of way, in how this man does everything. This very specific man, in his general but very specific store, has quite generally captured every specific part of this business-major-in-midrange-denim’s heart, and there doesn’t seem to be any chance of him letting go of it anytime soon.

Or, Patrick makes a discovery as he and David try something new, but he might not be the only one having a revelation.

💛🖤 Put Me Back Together Again

Fic Post

Explicit | 3K | David/Patrick | Christmas Fluff & Smut | Established Relationship | Mild Hurt/Comfort

Patrick is anxious about going home for Christmas for his first big family holiday celebration with David. His parents have accepted him with open arms when he came out, but what will the rest of the family think? He tosses and turns, lying awake with worry. David is there to reassure him that everything will be okay and finds a way to soothe his anxiety.

🖤💛 You Made Everything Okay

Fic Post

Explicit | 11K | David/Patrick | 'Meet the Parents' Missing Scene | Canon Compliant | Fluff & Smut | D/s Undertones

The party’s winding down, and it’s just David and Patrick left behind dancing together in the Café. What happens after everyone else goes home.

Or, David and Patrick’s simultaneous introspections regarding forever love and their night of “celebrating” back at home after Patrick’s birthday party.

[scraregenrecs]

Rare & Gen Rec Round-Up - September & October 2022

Hi, friends! November was a doozy for your mods, so we apologize for the delay in getting this post out to you. But we're back, and we hope everyone’s nice and cozy (and warm) and ready to read some of our favorite rare & gen SC works from September and October 2022. We know you'll enjoy them!

–

it was just a wednesday by apothecarose, Stevie/Twyla, rated T, 592 words

Summary: I only drink red wine. She remembers saying those words to David years ago, and she had been telling the truth. She'd never been attracted to another woman, which is why her feelings for Twyla slammed into her like a freight train.

Rec [written by samwhambam]: I really enjoyed this fic. It felt like a nice, warm hug of feelings. It was gentle and the whole thing is the equivalent of the ‘oh’ we love so much. Highly recommend if you’re looking for something short and sweet and full of feelings!

Some of the Things Some of the Time by @chronologicalimplosion, Stevie/David, rated G, 11,050 words

Summary: "How, um... How do you feel about... flavored wines?"

"What, like Herb Ertlinger's fruit wines?" Stevie pulls a face, obviously not having caught on yet.

David takes a deep, only-mildly-mortified breath, hoping she will. "No, like. I mean, what really is a red wine, anyways? Like, sure, it's got a different color from white, but different people like them because they taste different. So I was just wondering. Since you're a red drinker. Is it... the label, or the grapes, or... the taste? What if--I mean--you made a wine out of white grapes but you pissed off Dionysus or the scientists worked their magic or whatever and it came out tasting like a red?"

"Okay, David, I think you are vastly overestimating how picky I am about wine--and also how much I, like, know about wine? Because I know this is a metaphor but I have no idea what you're talking about."

--

A reimagining of the events of Carl's Funeral & Honeymoon (where David and Stevie talk sexuality, hook up, and break up) in which David Rose is a trans man.

Rec [written by doingthemost]: I loved the original in this series, and as a sucker for David/Stevie, I was thrilled to see this new installment! I love this reinterpretation of the canon; the characterization and dialogue are so on point, I would absolutely believe that this is canon.

–

Wishing for an Endless Night by jmda4, Alexis Rose, NR, 594 words

Summary: Alexis tries to cope with the idea of leaving her family.

Rec [written by petalwrites]: This short-and-sweet fic explores what’s going through Alexis’s head before she leaves for New York, and it’s really touching! It really highlights how much she grew throughout the show, which is one of my favorite parts of Schitt’s Creek.

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The Witch of Schitt’s Creek by @tyfinn, Gen, NR, 1115 words

Summary: Roland Jr. comes to David and Patrick for help when he thinks he sees a witch.

Rec [written by petalwrites]: Something about this really reads like part of a Halloween episode of a sitcom for me — which I’m a sucker for. D/P makes a brief appearance, but the real star here is Roland Jr. It’s a funny, sweet fic about a misunderstanding so true to how kids think. I could definitely see it happening in a future episode of the show.

–

Happy reading, friends!

[hullomoon]

stats game

thanks to @dessertwaffles for tagging me!

Rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

Most hits

when i'm with you it feels like home | schitt's creek | david/patrick | ~2.1k

Patrick and David have been friends for years but have never had the chance to meet in person. One day Patrick decides to change that.

second most kudos

glad to be your one shot pleasure (or more) | schitt's creek | david/patrick | ~12.7k | explicit

When Patrick meets his friends at the bar he hadn't planned on hooking up with anybody, that all changes when he meets David.

third most comments

The Ver-Ray Best of Ray of Sunshine | schitt's creek | Ray-centric | ~8.8k | co-written and co-podded by a whole slew of wonderful people

In this ver-Ray special episode of Ray of Sunshine, Ray looks back at some of his most popular interviews and segments, with full transcripts! Features interviews with local business owners, investigRAYtive journalism and a very special performance by the Jazzagals. Today's episode is brought to you by: Jake's Woodworking, Herb Ertlinger Fruit Wines, Mr. Hockley's Tea, The House Barn, and many more!

fourth most bookmarks

and by tomorrow i'll be one my way | schitt's creek | david/patrick | ~17k

In real life David and Patrick wouldn't want to be in the same room as the other, online however they're close friends. or a You've Got Mail AU

fifth most words

love is a wild thing | schitt's creek | david/patrick | ~13.3k

When the Roses end up in Schitt's Creek David didn't expect to find his soulmate. Things are…okay, but it turns out he has feelings for Patrick and since they're not soulmates there's no way Patrick could want him, was there?

fic with least words

let the rain fall, i don't care | schitt's creek | david/patrick | 167

A few quiet moments between David and Patrick

tagging: @hullosweetpea, @landofsonlali, @mickmilks, @slavicviking, and anyone else who wants to play!

[nice-schitt]

My favourite Moira outfit (Finding David) has already been posted so I'll go with my 2nd favourite which is the entire ensemble, including the brunette wig, that she wears when she gets drunk with David at Herb Ertlinger's in Moira Rosé.

Everything about that episode is perfect!

[weathereyehorizon]

106 vs 607

Season 6 of Schitt's Creek was a love letter to the fans, with callbacks to the other seasons littered throughout every episode.

Moira tried her hand at being a spokesperson for Herb Ertlinger's fruit wines in season 1. It didn't go as well as she'd hoped when she consumed a bit too much of the product during her multiple takes.

In season 6, Herb, a huge fan of Moira's crows movie—good luck finding somebody who isn't— asked her back, and she decided to bring David along to help. The only thing better than one drunk Rose is two drunk Roses, but Herb may not agree.

Regardless, fans were please to see the return of Herb Erfling … ger. Burt Herngeif. Irv Herb-blinger. Bing Livehaanger. Liveling. Burt Herkurn. Buh bingo ling-fucker!

[gothsandroses]

Hello!

While being stuck at home for months on end, there are two things that have brought me joy: Schitt’s Creek and the Sims 4. Over the last few weeks, these obsessions have culminated in recreating the town in none other than Willow Creek.

Builds included:

The Motel

Café Tropical

Bob’s Garage

Rose Apothecary / alternate pre-Rose General Store

Town Hall

Ted’s Veterinary Office and apartment

The Wobbly Elm bar

Ronnie’s house

Mutt’s barn

Roland and Jocelyn’s house

Bob and Gwen’s house

Ray Butani’s house and office

Patrick’s apartment/building

Stevie’s apartment/building

Jake’s garage-house

Patrick and David’s Rosehill Cottage

Ivan’s home bakery

A house for Twyla

A Jazzagals duplex

A romantic hiking trail

A town library

And somehow, that wasn’t enough! I also created Elmdale in Newcrest!

Builds included:

The Blouse Barn

Christmas World

The Elmdale Inn Restaurant

Crystal Elms Lodge and Spa

Herb Ertlinger Winery (Technically a Schitt’s Creek establishment, but I ran out of room)

Miguel’s Vet Clinic

Elmdale College (library)

Second Street Playhouse (Art Center) (the Cabaret Theatre)

Elm Glen Golf Club (cafe)

The Courthouse and all Government offices (museum)

Elmdale Exercise Center

Houses for Elmdale residents

The last three builds are a luxury beach house for Stavros, the Darwin Research Center in Sulani, and Bob and Gwen’s Cabin in Granite Falls. I created as many characters that I could, with many sprinkled in the other worlds where appropriate.

I tried to make everything as accurate as possible, while also limiting the packs I used per build in so that it would remain as accessible as possible. No CC and only a few MOO occasions. Honestly, I don’t know how practical it would be to play in, but if you’re a fan of the show you might enjoy looking around at all the little details!

Used in at least one build: 

Expansion Packs: Get to Work, Get Together, City Living, Cats & Dogs, Seasons, Get Famous, Island Living, Discover University

Game Packs: Outdoor Retreat, Spa Day, Vampires, Parenthood, Jungle Adventure, Strangerville, Realm of Magic

Stuff Packs: Spooky Stuff, Movie Hangout Stuff, Romantic Garden Stuff, Vintage Glamour Stuff, Laundry Day Stuff, Moschino Stuff, Tiny Living

Save 49 is a “New in Town” save, where the only difference is that the apothecary is the original general store, and save 48 is as pictured with the apothecary owned by David. I’m uploading all the builds and sims to my gallery as well if you’d like to download from there.

Origin ID - Qynnderella

Schitt’s Creek - https://simfileshare.net/download/2272237/

“New in Town” - https://simfileshare.net/download/2272238/

[im-televisions-moira-rose]

Season 1, Episode 6: Wine and Roses

This wine is AW-FUL. Get me another glass.

[ace-loric]

🎶 Say, you'll stay the night

Because we're running out of time

So stay the night

I don't wanna say goodbye

Say, you'll stay the night

Because we're running out of time

So stay the night

I don't wanna say goodbye

I'm just sick and tired of feeling so alone

I don't understand the point if you have to go home

So won't you stay and count the circles 'round my eyes?

And we can watch the stars until the sun begins to rise🎶

-“Stay the Night” Green Day

Set at the bus stop when Crowley invites Aziraphale over and they may or may not be dying the next day!

@jukeboxomens

[babymyleopard]

someday I won’t be able to remember any of yall, but I’ll remember the experiance & I’ll remember the name: Herb Ertlin... ger

[katiethesociallymaladjusted]

when  your best friend has a secret santa gift exchange at work and the only thing she knew about her person was that they liked schitt’s creek but weren’t at all familiar with the show.... you help her out and you reap the rewards of one of your hyperfixations.  very pleased my half assed ideas worked out.

[ladypeaceful-ladyhappy]

Felicitations, all! I’m Television’s Moira Rose. My unmannerly son David and I are here this Halloween to endorse the rich peach craylbappple flavors of our local vintner, Bert Herngieif. No, Irv Hervlinger. Bing Livehaanger? Bingo Lingfucker! (Clothes from my own closet. Tragically I do not own a wig. David Rose was tolerant of the sweater but scared of my skirt. Saturn is probably going to meowder me tonight.)

[atan-orofarne]

We just watched this episode the other day.

[hullomoon]

hullomoon’s 2022 works: part five

it’s the end of the year, which means it’s time for a work round-up! this year i really tipped into being podfic heavy (and more multifandom!). if you haven’t yet, check out my 2019 roundup, 2020 roundup, and 2021 roundup! all works are ordered in chronological posting order.

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight

BtP S4, Party Favour: Fests | Podfic Fandom, Schitt’s Creek | 1:10:00

hullomoon invites N0Connections and HowOldAreWe to talk about participating in fests, and specifically creating works for Schitt's Creek fests.

BtP S4, Party Favour: Long Pod | Podfic Fandom | 1:10:41

hullomoon invites Amanita_Fierce, N0Connections, RattleandHum, and HowOldAreWe to discuss the joys and tribulations of long pods both as creators and listeners.

one perfect blend | Schitt’s Creek | David/Patrick | ~1.8k

When David goes to Herb Ertlinger's Winery for his mother, he isn't prepared for Patrick, the man doing the wine tasting.

my 202nd work

you take the (cheese) cake | Schitt’s Creek | Heather/Shannon | explicit | ~1.4k

Shannon loves to watch Heather work with her hands

whittling away at the self (who am i?) | Schitt’s Creek | Jake/Mutt | ~1.8k

With Jake working on a Pride exhibition piece, Mutt starts thinking about what Pride means to him. 

[Podfic] The Seven Husbands of Alexis Rose | Schitt’s Creek | Alexis/Twyla | 1.5-2 hrs

 My name is Alexis Rose. But you knew that already, didn't you?

 There's no need for shyness. You don't need to pretend that you didn't Google me before you read this article, or that you don't know who I am. I shouldn't misspeak, though: you think you know who I am. You have an idea of who Alexis Rose is.

 Maybe you've never seen any of my movies. Maybe you think I'm washed up, someone only your parents care about. Maybe you think I'm irrelevant. Maybe you think I'm a whore.

 Oh, don't duck your head. I guarantee you're not the first person to ever let that idea enter your mind, and you won't be the last.

In 2015, Alexis Rose pens a tell-all for Vogue, promising to finally tell the truth about all seven of those infamous husbands and then some...

Podfic of The Seven Husbands of Alexis Rose.

Simply the Vet | Schitt’s Creek | Ted/David | mature | ~6.5k

The new vet across the street catches David's eye

[podfic] Fine | Schitt’s Creek | David/Patrick | explicit | 05:27:27

After an unexpected decision at Rosebud Motel Group, David and Patrick are left to figure things out. Patrick is working tirelessly to keep the store afloat, while David remains stubborn in his vision.

Eventually, they seek help to work on both their marriage and the store, but no man is an island, and neither of them can fix everything on their own. Heavy angst with an eventual happy ending.

 [podfic of Fine]

[podfic] what was i like before you? | Schitt’s Creek | David/Patrick | mature | 23:08

David bit his lip, propping himself up on his elbows and adjusting his knees on either side of Patrick’s hips. Cupping the side of Patrick’s face, he drew his thumb over Patrick’s eyebrow. “How’d you get this scar?”

OR:

David learns some surprising information about Patrick's past.

 [podfic of what was I like before you?]

sunrise in our eyes | Schitt’s Creek | Stevie/Rachel | 471

Rachel has a little morning treat for Stevie

[lucyfishwife]

Today’s mood is a long slow closeup on Moira, who’s got nothing

[ramonaflow]

One of my favourite scenes. All David's expressions 😂😂

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