#Hellraiser Revelations

[james-stark-the-writer]

i'm not 2 minutes into Hellraiser: Revelations and i already fucking hate everything about it, jesus fucking christ, this is going to be a miserable hour and 10 minutes. at least it's mercifully short, the shortest Hellraiser so far, i doubt much hell will be raised, but ig that is the tiniest victory i can get from this. but amazon put like six fucking ads in between the movie so i'm sure it's going to be like fucking 2 hours while actually watching.

[publicdomainbooksdevotee]

When you're about to lose the rights to Hellraiser:

[deuterosapiens]

Woah, two Hellraiser films in one night! It's like Christmas, but like, if Christmas was Hellraiser: Revelations and your parents hated you. So what make this, the ninth film, so remarkably special isn't just that it's bad, no. No no no. Bad, bad is something we can deal with.

This is a special kind of bad.

You see, Revelations includes a significant number of elements from the original film that I've found sorely lacking in the sequels. This one actually recreates a fair number of story elements that are unique to film one (and by extension, the original novella).

A pleasure seeker meets a mysterious figure who gifts him the Lemarchand Box. After being ripped apart by the Cenobites, he is revived through the spilling of blood which escalates into a series of murders at the hands of an accomplice to give life back to the pleasure seeker. The pleasure seeker ends up wearing another's skin as a ruse.

I think the best description I have for this one is unnecessarily exploitative. These films don't shy away from sex and violence, but in a very weird way, I don't think any of it actually adds anything to the movie. What exactly did that thing with the prostitute in the restroom actually add to this movie?

So there are two narratives happening. The first, which as I've outlined above, is basically the original Hellraiser's Julia/Frank plot and is background information which is periodically revealed to us as the second plot plays out. In the present, we have what feels like a standard home invasion, but where there's no invasion and everyone just sort of screams at everyone.

There's an interesting element in which our lead ends up stealing his friend's skin, who opens the Box and becomes a Cenobite. What I liked about this was that it actually shows us a brief moment where the Cenobites are doing Cenobitical things: we see a brief moment in Hell in which nothing is a plot to manipulate the damned, or punish a victim. It shows a brief glimpse of what is an actual Cenobite being taught and learning. This is actually kind of cool and flashes the world out ever so slightly more and would have been an excellent thing to expand on. The identity of this Cenobite is supposed to be a secret, but you've guessed the Reveal long before it's honestly worth setting up a Reveal.

There's an uncomfortable incest scene which is the exact moment you should have pieced together the Act Three Reveal, that Nico is wearing Stephen's skin.

This reveal, actually, this whole plot annoys me because I cannot for the like of me figure out what the point of the scene where he exposits in a trance is for, from a character perspective. Why would this character, if they are in a fugue state, speak as though he is not in fact, Nico in disguise? This feels like the writers had completely different intentions for these characters, then changed their minds as they continued, but did not go back and edit the script to accommodate.

I think I've keyed in on the biggest issue. This entire movie feels like a Rough Draft script written solely to get a script out. It feels like zero revisions were made and not a single person stepped in to polish it.

There's a return to basics that I did appreciate: The Cenobites are never actually given an Infernal explanation in this one. Hell, our live action Harry DuBois only uses the word "angel" to describe them. I love this interpretation of their purposes, which I guess makes sense since it is literally ripped directly from the first film.

I'm serious, this guy reminds me of Harry DuBois:

He's the vagrant who gives our leads the Box, which I guess technically would make him the Engineer, but, once again, that role seems to be had by the nail-headed Hell Priest.

We don't see much in the way of Cenobite design (truth be told, we don't see much of anything: this entire film's lighting feels like David Yates' most depraved fantasy; filters other than blue exist, you know!), but none of them are particularly new. Just rehashed versions of the nail-headed Cenobite, the Chattering Cenobite, oh look! There's a second nail-headed Cenobite!

So, why is this one so bad?

The best moment of the film is like thirty seconds long. The original parts of the story are boring, loud, and generally poorly written. The not-so-original parts are exactly the same as the first film, but they have chosen the exact worst ways to implement them.

I will admit, I saw exactly one turn on the Box that made me squee happily, if only because it was a corner turn and not the exact same two-move opening that has so royally pissed me off seeing. That's right guys, I got more joy out of a character making a move on the Box that was different than the opening sequence used in basically every other movie (any points this would have awarded us are lost because this turn exists in one scene, and the three other instances of the Box being opened return back to the standard two moves). It's a Puzzle Box, dammit! Is it really that fucking difficult to show this thing being opened like an actually fucking Puzzle Box??

I do not want to watch Judgement after this complete waste of time reboot. Officially it's a sequel, but this has reboot written all over it. Actually, this has "I'm about to lose franchise rights" written all over it.

[rollforjackass]

no but i LOVE 'undercover' queer horror. stuff you grow up with as weird cult classics that are widely regarded as goofy and campy and a little bit terrible but they're no less iconic and then you grow up and learn that the creators are queer and see the story through that lens and understand the specific nexus of trauma and rage and loss and loneliness and otherness and joy and power and passion and love and defiance and radical self-acceptance that feeds every character and monster and shapes everything from their choices to their forms. LOVE that shit.

[vampirebiter]

cenobites stole my car

[bellonathedragonborn]

So since the Silent Hill community is dragging the Silent Hill Revelations movie again I’ll come by and screech:

Why did Claudia Wolf turn into a monster that should have belonged in a Hellraiser movie?!

[fanfictionbard]

[you2018]

^^ sorted by lowest rating and mymovie is number 6.......

[james-stark-the-writer]

a recycled Hellraiser movie, now with racism and more misogyny and boring sex scenes and even less edge than the worst franchise entries so far! truly awful.

has the artlessness of Star Wars Episode IX and Wrong Turn 5 combined and blended together, painted over with even more empty aesthetic signifiers and franchise iconography, to make a movie with essentially no personality (the greatest crime of a Hellraiser film, even Hellseeker at least had a personality, as derivative and terrible as it was) or creative voice that feels like it goes on forever even though it's barely even 70 minutes without credits.

My ½★ review of Hellraiser: Revelations on Letterboxd

[jeezypetes]

Got in the shower w my bra on :( and my watch :(

[rafeysvenicebitch]

Based on this request by the bestest person @strawberries-and-lots-of-kisses:

Imagine jack is upset with you for whatever reason, and not speaking to you, but you know that if you seduce him he’ll fold, and so you get out of the shower with no clothes on and walk just like that into the bedroom pretending you are grabbing something you need. His eyes are inmediately fixed on you and when he finally speaks, now you’re the one who ignores him, while he’s horny and pouting like a baby because you pay him no attention all while walking around naked.

a/n: YALLL pls give me more smut requests bc I’m getting more comfortable with it but my ideas aren’t like there lol. I loved writing this :) as y’all know I’m on a brain break but I’m working on Halos and Halos and Hellraisers and Off to the Races.

The tension in the room was thick—Jack still wasn’t speaking to you, arms crossed, jaw tight, his little silent treatment attempt in full effect. Fine. If he wanted to be stubborn, you could play that game too.

So when you stepped out of the steamy bathroom, completely bare, hair damp, skin glistening, you made a show of it—walking past him like you didn’t even notice he was there.

Jack’s eyes snapped to you instantly, his posture shifting as he sat up against the headboard. He wasn’t even trying to be subtle about it. His tongue swiped across his lips, fingers twitching at his sides, but he stayed quiet, determined to keep up his act.

You, on the other hand, ignored him entirely, acting as if you were simply retrieving something from your dresser. Maybe a nonexistent hair tie. Maybe just fresh air. Anything but the desperate man burning holes into your back with his stare.

“Really?” His voice finally cracked through the silence, hoarse and edged with frustration.

You didn’t respond.

“Baby,” he tried again, shifting on the bed. “You’re really gonna act like you don’t see me?”

Nothing.

Jack let out a groan, running a hand down his face before dragging it over his mouth. You could feel the heat of his gaze tracing every inch of your skin, his patience wearing thin.

“You’re so mean to me,” he muttered, more to himself than to you.

Still, you said nothing, just smirking to yourself as you took your sweet time moving around the room, letting the power shift completely into your hands. Now he was the one suffering, pouting like a needy little thing while you reveled in his torment.

Jack’s restraint lasted all of thirty seconds before he snapped.

One second, you were reaching for an imaginary item on your dresser, and the next, you were being grabbed—strong hands gripping your waist as Jack tossed you onto the bed with ease. A surprised squeal left your lips, but it quickly turned into laughter when he climbed over you, trapping you beneath him.

“Oh, now you wanna acknowledge me?” he taunted, his lips curling into a smirk as he loomed over you. His fingers dragged down your sides slowly, teasingly, making your breath hitch. “All that little act just to drive me crazy? You’re lucky I love you.”

You bit your lip, feigning innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Jack scoffed, dipping his head to press his lips against the curve of your neck, not kissing—just letting his breath fan over your skin, making you shiver. His fingers skimmed down your thighs, then back up, never quite touching where you needed him most.

“You wanna ignore me, baby?” His voice was low, husky, full of promise. “Let’s see how long you can keep that up.”

His lips finally made contact, pressing featherlight kisses along your collarbone, teasing, never giving in completely. His hands traced over your stomach, your hips, everywhere but where you wanted them. He was taking his time now, dragging it out, making you squirm.

“Not so quiet now, huh?” Jack murmured, nipping at your skin, grinning against you when he heard your breath hitch. “Go on, keep acting like I don’t exist. See what happens.”

If you thought you were in control before, you were dead wrong—because now, Jack had you exactly where he wanted. And he was going to make sure you felt every second of it. He subtly took his shirt and jeans off, leaving him in his Calvin Klein boxers that failed to hide his hard cock.

He tapped your thigh,”C’mon, open those legs f’me.” You hesitated for a minute before opening your legs and grabbing one of the pillows to clutch onto.

Jack chuckled, positioning himself on top of you ,”Baby, whatcha being shy for huh?” He started pumping two fingers in and out of you at an unbearable pace.

You whimpered,”Thatt” You squirmed a little.

He whispered into your ear , “I don’t see the problem here , baby. You been wanting this huh? I can tell. You’re so wet f’me.” He sped up making you squeal, then quickly took his fingers out of your soaked cunt.

You smacked his arm, pouting,”Jackkk! What’s that for?”

He kissed your pouted lips and smirked,”That was for teasing me.” A few moments after, he swiftly removed his boxers. His tip was already leaking with precum and his cock was incredibly veiny. Without further notice, he slammed himself into you.

“Fuck!” You screamed, squeezing your eyes shut and holding onto the pillow tighter,”Jackk!”

He kissed your forehead,”And this is also for teasing me.” He groaned,”Fuck, so tight and wet. All f’me. No other man, jussst me.”

[fuckyourtriangles]

The Hellraiser films as light novel titles:

Hellraiser: How (not) to accidently summon sex demons

Hellbound: The sex demons won’t leave me alone, so I’ll remind them of their humanity and hope things work out for the best!

Hell On Earth: Since my soul was split in two, I’ll ruin everyone’s else’s day for fun

Bloodline: My sex demon co-worker makes my job harder than it needs to be (in space)

Inferno: Damning a man’s soul to Hell for being a terrible person for fun and profit

Hellseeker: Since I don’t want to become a sex demon, I’ll commit 1st-degree murder instead

Deader: Committing suicide is a bit complicated in Romania

Hellworld: What happens when you use a sex demon’s image to kill people and it doesn’t go quite as you expect.

Revelations: Making deals with sex demons in Mexico

Judgement: When fucking around and finding out in God’s presence goes wrong

[runningfrom2am]

omg you should totally read these! (aka, runningfrom2am's fic recs)

hey guys! i just wanted to share a bunch of fics that i've read from some incredibly talented people on here that i think everyone should check out! and don't worry! i'll keep this updated as i find more fics that make my brain go brrrr :)

some of these fics contain nsfw content, so please please please protect yourselves and read the tags! stay safe out here friends :)

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 rafe cameron 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

untouchable, by @boneblushed (series)

secret admirer, by @winterrrnight

new light, by @outerbankies (series)

pink + white, by @madelynie

graduation, by @totalswag

don't delete the kisses, by @moonsgemini

you're on your own, kid, by @allsmilesreally7 (series)

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 jj maybank 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

revelations, by @slut4drudy

second choice, by @starryblueeyesandstarryblueskies

opposites attract, by @maybankswhore

wedding bells, by @maybankswhore

jj x deaf reader, by @randomoutsiders (blurb)

dying to tell you, by @obaex

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 drew starkey 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

fan behaviour, by @winterrrnight

dinner and sunsets, by @totalswag

make up, by @winterrrnight

green vase, by @madelynie (series)

valentine’s day surprise, by @precioustarkey

mi media naranja (my half-orange), by @r66dus

hellraiser, by @winterrrnight (insta au/series)

trouble in paradise, by @malfoycoffee

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 coriolanus snow 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

kiss it better, by @venuslore

peace, by @writersblockiskillingme

snow melts, by @bonesandchalamet

money, power, glory, by @kitscutie

snow and roses, by @kitscutie (series)

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊 billy bonney 𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

*coming soon*

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

Given the sudden rush of Hellraiser polls, might I suggest a worst Hellraiser movie poll? Not much point doing a best one but a worst might be entertaining.

[bitter-sweetener]

Bitter's Hellraiser Movie Review

Okay so, over this past weekend I watched every* single Hellraiser movie. There are 11 in total, 10 from the original franchise and 1 modern "reboot". I watched the very first one and Pinhead immediately became my newest hyper-fixation. I'm a freak weirdo into freak weirdo shit because my brain is a little funky. I will be posting my complete thoughts (+ analysis) under the cut. Short end of it: I loved it. It's a classic. Watch the first one at the very least. I think the reboot was really worth watching. You must have some whimsy to enjoy the rest. 6 + 7 are watchable but honestly the average viewer would not like any of the other movies. Do not watch Revelations. I love some really TRASH media, so you know that is truly a shit movie. Spoilers!

Okay. Now that the normies are gone, here we go.

I have said it once and I shall say it again, Pinhead is a psychological horror villain in a slasher movie world. I am aware of the books Hellraiser is based on, and also the comic books. Best believe I WILL be reading those as soon as I can get my grubby little fingers on them. Anyway here's my review:

Hellraiser: I love 80's horror aesthetics. I love anything with practical effects. But most importantly, I love the whole idea of Pinhead and the cenobites. I thought it was a very fun horror movie. The no skin makeup really weirded me out, not in a bad way but in a probably unintended way. I really fell in love with Pinhead. "The box! You opened it, we came." I love that Pinhead was ready too make a deal with Kirsty. Seemed flirty to me idk. (There is something about media about a sadomasochist wanting you that makes my brain go bur.) I feel like up until the point where the Cenobites appeared, this was going to be a slasher movie. Once you see that they can be reasoned with in some way? They hit that very yummy to me psychological horror field. I think that was the point where I needed to see more of him. My only complaint about the movie is that Pinhead wasn't in more of it. If you like Hannibal (tv), you'd like Kirsty/Pinhead and vice versa. 5/5 stars. Also Frank saying come to Daddy made me laugh so incredibly hard. Will re-watch this.

Hellraiser ii: Hellbound. This was a really good sequel. It picks up RIGHT where the previous one leaves off which I thought was nice. I'm so glad that they stuck a bit to the very obvious psychological horror route with this movie, letting Tiffany go free due to her catatonic state. "It is not hands that call us. It is desire." The cenobites aren't completely evil in that regard, and I think that is what truly makes for an interesting antagonist whereas Frank and Julia are kinda just shitty people. I REALLY WISH that they continued more on that route with the rest of the movies. I feel like they completely disregard that aspect of the Cenobites later which just makes the deaths boring after a while. But again I'm calling it a 5/5 stars from me. Will re-watch this. There's a moment with this weirdly wet baby doll on screen with sewn together lips? Seeing that sent me to a new dimension. Pinhead wants Kirsty soooooo bad. "We have eternity to know your flesh." Down BAD.

Hellraiser iii: Hell On Earth. I ship Terri and Joey. The scene in Joey's apartment??? Lesbian alert. Loved that. The weird baby returned but this time not wet, but dangling in a circle of barbed wire with a blindfold on. Fucking amazing. Who's idea was that. Who NEEDED that to be featured so desperately. Also I fucking love that Hell was like encased in this weird af art piece thing. I love that we got some Elliot in this movie! I think merging the two fully solidified that Pinhead isn't all beast. I thought it was fun watch. 5/5 also. I love this original trilogy as a trilogy. "I AM THE WAY." I loved the church scene.

Hellraiser 6: Hellseeker. I watched the movies out of order. This one is the most worth watching of the follow up movies just for continuity. But I thought it was very boring. The set up for this movie is more about taking you through someone else's specific hell and not just the act of being brought to it. I love that we get Kirsty back. Pinhead WILL get his girl. "You opened the door long ago and it will not be closed until I get what I came for. It was a nice closeout to her story, a nice little epilogue. I MAY re watch it, just for Pinhead, but probably not. 3/5. "Welcome to the worst nightmare of all. Reality." He was SO real for that omg. I love this franchise because a lot of it lets the female protagonists get revenge and I loooveeeee when women are vengeful.

Hellraiser 4: Bloodline. They are in space? And there's some lore of the box that is in the past and not in space? But this is honestly a shit film. I thought it was boring. The scene with the twins was GOOD. Perhaps the single good thing about that movie. But mostly I don't remember anything about it at all. 2/5. "I am so exquisitely empty." Yeah babe, so was this movie.

Hellraiser 5: Inferno. Similar to 6 in how its once specific guy's specific kind of hell. The male protagonists (?) suck in this franchise. It gave me a bit of a Hannibal (tv) vibe when the guy sits down with the therapist. I'm calling him "this guy" because I cannot be bothered to look up his name because it was so boring. Honestly I also BARELY remember this movie. 2/5 "Welcome to hell." I do really think Hannibal would like Pinhead. They would just love each other's work I think. I started daydreaming about a Hannibal and Hellraiser crossover. Because as mentioned, I AM a freak weirdo.

Hellraiser 7: Deader. STUPID NAME for a movie. That being said I enjoyed this one! Like a fair amount. Another great female protagonist. I really liked seeing her gathering evidence to investigate. I hated the cult leader type guy. I just thought he was fucking stupid. If it wasn't a Hellraiser movie I may have liked it more. Because the Cenobites are kind of just there? This would work as a better stand alone type of horror cult movie. I think Hellraiser was just trying out all kinds of troupes and whatever. "You should be very careful what you wish for. It just might come true." 3/5 I remembered the plot this time.

Hellraiser 8: Hellworld. This is just a slasher film that they glued Pinhead into the end of. It was giving SAW vibes at one point. With the chair with the blades that sever the arteries in your neck. I don't particularly like Saw. Just doesn't tickle me. I will admit to fast forwarding through bits of this because I just did not care all that much. I watched it only so I could store the scenes with Pinhead into my brain, and even that part was like eating holographic meatloaf. 1/5.

Hellraiser 9*: Revelations. There is that * again! Did you forget about it? Yeah I got 5 minutes in, said yo why is this SO BAD, read that this film was rushed and made mostly to keep the licensing, and then PROMPTLY shut that shit off. 0/5. Negative one million. If I opened the box, the hell I would be dragged into would include being forced to watch this movie.

Hellraiser 10: Judgement. Better than the 9th movie that's for sure. Once again, I cared very little for the man who's story the film this movie was ultimately about. These men genuinely have no personality outside of kinda just being a jackass. I did like the auditor. I thought he was pretty cool! I liked the visuals in this movie, very very gross and gory. I liked the idea of heaven sanctioned evil. I liked that Pinhead was like, lady I do not care who you are, fuck you and fuck that guy you were trying to save. I think it's stupid that he was sent to "reality" as punishment. I think it's stupid that he was punished for that. Free my boy from the confines of reality and allow him to experience the sweet pain of the flesh once more! 2/5 "After all, evil seeks evil." I also want to say that Pinhead being unwilling to strike a deal with this guy is further proof that Kirsty is special and that he should get his girl.

Hellraiser 2022: OKAY PINHEAD IS HOT. FEM PINHEAD IS SUPER SEXY. THEIR VOICE????!?!?!?!?! FUCKING WOAHHHHHHH. Also there is gay people!!! I love gay people. Honestly I thought this was a really compelling story. I think Hulu did the franchise justice. It was just very visually appealing. There were a lot of layers in a way, similar to how the first few movies had these layers of evil to them. I really liked that. I will watch this again. I just think it was a good movie. Voight's transformation was quite captivating at the end. I like that we had the Cenobites working with some kind of code again, like god intended. One of my favorite scenes is the one where Nora gets got. "...heaven. There's no music in that." It's just REALLY HOT sadomasochism vibes and I'm here for it. Maybe I'm just fucked up and gay though. 5/5 stars. It was worth getting through the bad movies for this beautiful creation.

If you read this whole thing I love you and I'll see you in hell <3