#Hellraiser Revelations

[james-stark-the-writer]

i'm not 2 minutes into Hellraiser: Revelations and i already fucking hate everything about it, jesus fucking christ, this is going to be a miserable hour and 10 minutes. at least it's mercifully short, the shortest Hellraiser so far, i doubt much hell will be raised, but ig that is the tiniest victory i can get from this. but amazon put like six fucking ads in between the movie so i'm sure it's going to be like fucking 2 hours while actually watching.

[publicdomainbooksdevotee]

When you're about to lose the rights to Hellraiser:

[pikkugootti]

okay so

i had to make a post

im stuck doing schoolwork and suffering, so i thought it would be funny to watch ALL hellraisers. I WASN’T READY FOR THE HELL WHICH I RAISED

i will do in detail movie review later, but to sum up,

hellraiser I, II and III are fine, but with the bloodline it takes one of the most fucking bizarre turn i have seen. OKAY BUT AT LEAST IT TRIES TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY

i wasn’t ready when i started up hellraiser inferno. where the last one had something to do with original THE REST JUST KAJDFLKLAKDFJajdsfhfdsfhhjsfddhjsduhj>KjHJhLISDHFAEJHW(>T)(QRJIERHFJDHDJAhGHFADHUjk

like where as the first three and four are fantasy horror sci fi, THIS FUCKING MOVIE DECIDES THAT WE NEED A COP THRILLER

IT HAS ABSOLUTELY 0 CONNECTION WITH THE ORIGINAL STORY AND ONLY HAS PINHEAD SO PEOPLE CAN GO “OMG THAT’S THE GUY!!!!!!!! ::DDDDDDDDDDDDD” 

hellseeker tries to kinda piggyback from last movie using the same effects, but it tries to add something from the original movies; kirsty

but like......................

SHE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING :sob:

SHE DOESN’T TALK ABOUT THE CENOBITES OR THE LAMENT CONFUGIRATIONS OR LABYRINTH SHE IS JUST THERE TO BE DEAD WIFE PROP - OR NOT EVEN THAT

THIS MOVIE IS LIKE 40% SOFTCORE PORN :sob:

what i find the most bizarre, is that doug bradley, the actor from the first movies still played pinhead in these later movies, even though they CLEARLY HAD NOTHING TO OFFER TO THE FRANCHISE PLUS THESE MOVIES HAVE ONLY CREDITS TO CLIVE BARKER AS “BASeD ON CHARACTERS CREATED BY CLIVE BARKER” AKA HE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MOVIES so why would doug bradley willingly participate in their creation???? 

AND THIS IS NOT ALL

THE CURRENT IM WATCHING NOW REVELATIONS HAS SOME OTHER ACTOR TRYING TO COPY WHAT DOUG BRADLEY DID AND WAS :sob: :sob: :Sob: 

WHAT IS THIS PLEAS IM SOBBIN G TR RN????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[deuterosapiens]

Woah, two Hellraiser films in one night! It's like Christmas, but like, if Christmas was Hellraiser: Revelations and your parents hated you. So what make this, the ninth film, so remarkably special isn't just that it's bad, no. No no no. Bad, bad is something we can deal with.

This is a special kind of bad.

You see, Revelations includes a significant number of elements from the original film that I've found sorely lacking in the sequels. This one actually recreates a fair number of story elements that are unique to film one (and by extension, the original novella).

A pleasure seeker meets a mysterious figure who gifts him the Lemarchand Box. After being ripped apart by the Cenobites, he is revived through the spilling of blood which escalates into a series of murders at the hands of an accomplice to give life back to the pleasure seeker. The pleasure seeker ends up wearing another's skin as a ruse.

I think the best description I have for this one is unnecessarily exploitative. These films don't shy away from sex and violence, but in a very weird way, I don't think any of it actually adds anything to the movie. What exactly did that thing with the prostitute in the restroom actually add to this movie?

So there are two narratives happening. The first, which as I've outlined above, is basically the original Hellraiser's Julia/Frank plot and is background information which is periodically revealed to us as the second plot plays out. In the present, we have what feels like a standard home invasion, but where there's no invasion and everyone just sort of screams at everyone.

There's an interesting element in which our lead ends up stealing his friend's skin, who opens the Box and becomes a Cenobite. What I liked about this was that it actually shows us a brief moment where the Cenobites are doing Cenobitical things: we see a brief moment in Hell in which nothing is a plot to manipulate the damned, or punish a victim. It shows a brief glimpse of what is an actual Cenobite being taught and learning. This is actually kind of cool and flashes the world out ever so slightly more and would have been an excellent thing to expand on. The identity of this Cenobite is supposed to be a secret, but you've guessed the Reveal long before it's honestly worth setting up a Reveal.

There's an uncomfortable incest scene which is the exact moment you should have pieced together the Act Three Reveal, that Nico is wearing Stephen's skin.

This reveal, actually, this whole plot annoys me because I cannot for the like of me figure out what the point of the scene where he exposits in a trance is for, from a character perspective. Why would this character, if they are in a fugue state, speak as though he is not in fact, Nico in disguise? This feels like the writers had completely different intentions for these characters, then changed their minds as they continued, but did not go back and edit the script to accommodate.

I think I've keyed in on the biggest issue. This entire movie feels like a Rough Draft script written solely to get a script out. It feels like zero revisions were made and not a single person stepped in to polish it.

There's a return to basics that I did appreciate: The Cenobites are never actually given an Infernal explanation in this one. Hell, our live action Harry DuBois only uses the word "angel" to describe them. I love this interpretation of their purposes, which I guess makes sense since it is literally ripped directly from the first film.

I'm serious, this guy reminds me of Harry DuBois:

He's the vagrant who gives our leads the Box, which I guess technically would make him the Engineer, but, once again, that role seems to be had by the nail-headed Hell Priest.

We don't see much in the way of Cenobite design (truth be told, we don't see much of anything: this entire film's lighting feels like David Yates' most depraved fantasy; filters other than blue exist, you know!), but none of them are particularly new. Just rehashed versions of the nail-headed Cenobite, the Chattering Cenobite, oh look! There's a second nail-headed Cenobite!

So, why is this one so bad?

The best moment of the film is like thirty seconds long. The original parts of the story are boring, loud, and generally poorly written. The not-so-original parts are exactly the same as the first film, but they have chosen the exact worst ways to implement them.

I will admit, I saw exactly one turn on the Box that made me squee happily, if only because it was a corner turn and not the exact same two-move opening that has so royally pissed me off seeing. That's right guys, I got more joy out of a character making a move on the Box that was different than the opening sequence used in basically every other movie (any points this would have awarded us are lost because this turn exists in one scene, and the three other instances of the Box being opened return back to the standard two moves). It's a Puzzle Box, dammit! Is it really that fucking difficult to show this thing being opened like an actually fucking Puzzle Box??

I do not want to watch Judgement after this complete waste of time reboot. Officially it's a sequel, but this has reboot written all over it. Actually, this has "I'm about to lose franchise rights" written all over it.

[jasonsutekh]

Hellraiser Revelations (2011), Judgement (2018), and (2022)

The puzzle box is opened and the cenobites descend to claim souls but can any deals be made?

Much of the graphics appears to still be largely practical which is a relief as it’s one of the few things setting this franchise apart from many of the others that have defaulted to modern tropes and CGI methods. It has also stayed true to some of the original imagery and structures while also trying to build upon it at times.

Easily one of the main flaws of these three, as well as most of the franchise, is that it leans more towards nihilistic conclusions. If horror can never have a happy (or happy enough) ending then there’s no stake in the characters, just a long wait until people are torn up. Especially when you include a character or characters that the entire film is based on saving, and then they’re long dead so it doesn't matter anyway. It makes for dissatisfaction.

A good deal of the acting is variable but the odd actor carries the drama fairly well, notably the lead woman in the latest one and the main pro-ant-agonist of the 2011 version. The pinhead variation wasn’t too damning, although it was odd in Judgement where he seemed to get emotional, but since they’re used so scarcely and in these versions have so many effects over their voice, they’re incidental at best.

The narrative in the 2018 film was rather predictable and the twists did little to satisfy as the more relatable characters are swept away by chains. Similarly the most sympathetic couple are the gay characters in the 2022 version and one is taken early on and then not fought for all that hard. 2011 had one of the more complex and interesting story lines but the ending still needed something to allow even an abstract closure rather than the pervading meta-dread.

Revelations: 4/10 -It’s below average, but only just!-

Judgement: 3/10 -This one’s bad but it’s got some good in it, just there-

2022: 4/10 -It’s below average, but only just!-

-In the reboot film the box has 6 ‘configurations’, they are: Lament (Life), Lore (Knowledge), Lauderant (Love), Liminal (Sensation), Lazarus (resurrection), and Leviathan (power).

[vampirebiter]

cenobites stole my car

[darktripz]

[rollforjackass]

no but i LOVE 'undercover' queer horror. stuff you grow up with as weird cult classics that are widely regarded as goofy and campy and a little bit terrible but they're no less iconic and then you grow up and learn that the creators are queer and see the story through that lens and understand the specific nexus of trauma and rage and loss and loneliness and otherness and joy and power and passion and love and defiance and radical self-acceptance that feeds every character and monster and shapes everything from their choices to their forms. LOVE that shit.

[james-stark-the-writer]

a recycled Hellraiser movie, now with racism and more misogyny and boring sex scenes and even less edge than the worst franchise entries so far! truly awful.

has the artlessness of Star Wars Episode IX and Wrong Turn 5 combined and blended together, painted over with even more empty aesthetic signifiers and franchise iconography, to make a movie with essentially no personality (the greatest crime of a Hellraiser film, even Hellseeker at least had a personality, as derivative and terrible as it was) or creative voice that feels like it goes on forever even though it's barely even 70 minutes without credits.

My ½★ review of Hellraiser: Revelations on Letterboxd

[bellonathedragonborn]

So since the Silent Hill community is dragging the Silent Hill Revelations movie again I’ll come by and screech:

Why did Claudia Wolf turn into a monster that should have belonged in a Hellraiser movie?!

[fanfictionbard]

[housefreak]

^^ sorted by lowest rating and mymovie is number 6.......

[jeezypetes]

Got in the shower w my bra on :( and my watch :(

[sarah1228]

what I've watched today

[holy-shit-comics]

[subbyfoxelf]

[movie review] hellraiser: revelations (2011)

"this trinket of sensation you feel now will be a delight compared to the onslaught of agony that awaits at our hands."

yikes, you can just super tell this was made for no reason other than to hold onto a copyright. like i enjoyed a few of the scenes with the cenobites, but that’s kind of par for the course for these? but yeah i just don’t know who or what i was supposed to care about in this movie. probably nobody & nothing?

i mean, this is literally at the very minimum of what is unambiguously considered “feature length.” it was written & shot in a matter of three weeks, and it shows it. it’s pretty abundantly clear what was happening here, and i don’t really want to waste any more of your time digging into the cinematic equivalent of realizing you have a paper due tomorrow, panicking, and then spending more time tweaking the font & margins to hit your page count without making it obvious that you fucked with the font & margins than you do writing the thing.

d-rank