#He's a ridiculously well rounded assassin

[urara04]

I GOT HIM

I BARELY GOT HIM BUT I GOT HIM AT LAST

(I had 5 out of 25 shards, and I JUST got at the place where I could win 20 shards in the recent Helix event in the last hour or so)

I'm pumping this man full with EXP and gear I WILL max him out and use him as much as I can

[diejager]

Yall cool with your girl making more money than yall? Ladies yall cool with making more money than your man?

JOYCE, DROP ANOTHER 141 × READER FIC WITH POWER IMBALANCE AND MY LIFE IS YOURS

🐝

For The Right Price

Pairing: Poly Tf141 x assassin!reader

Cw: power imbalance, darkish!reader, assassin, hitmen, blood, violence, mafia stuff, french grammatical mistakes, tell me if I missed any. Note: this might not have been what you were expecting, but uh… I am back on my John Wick obsession😅 Note x2: I don’t really know how people in France speak, so I stuck to my Quebec dialect 😭

Gaz, like much of the others, was unsure —hesitant about this plan. He was initially - and still was - against the idea of hiring an outside hand after what they’d gone through with Graves, and he wasn’t exactly excited to relive that a second time this soon. He didn’t know the exact identity of this so-called assassin Laswell had called. Scratch that, he knew nothing of them: neither name or face, only the alias they went by. The dark and ominous reputation they’d garnered themself through the years of hard working kills and stealthy hits, appearing and disappear within seconds: The Chimera. 

A man eating, woman devouring and stealthy killer that anyone could hire for the right price. Anything went in the darker world under their feet, from the lower bowels of the underground, to the deepest parts of a family built into a towering pyramid. They had the police in their pockets, senators and politicians in their blood and even the government had a used for them. Assassins sent to do their dirty work and keep their hands clean. 

That’s something Gaz hated the most, people in high seats playing the martyr when they’d done nothing to help. He could at least respect The Chimera for being honest of their employment, self-aware of the dried blood caking their hands after every kill. 

“The Chimera as a reputation for being… honest,” Laswell had muttered with reluctance, as if she couldn’t find the right word to describe the killer they were hiring.

All they were given was a few papers with their skills and accomplishments —at least the few that were publicly recorded and known by anyone outside the world-wide organisation. Price had given them the night to memorise it and prepare for the meet-up somewhere in Paris. 

He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t a bit nervous, meeting someone as dangerous as an omen of death, lingering at the top of the food chain with this Baba Yaga who’d retired and another dubbed Zero. They all sat around ridiculously small table and in even smaller chairs at a café, the morning sun in Paris giving the place an air of elegance and artistry, a strange but subtle difference to the reason the five of them sat here, leaving a seat vacant for their mysterious hire. 

Gaz stared down at the french espresso, something he was somewhat excited to try, the small, round cup accompanied by a croissant, was much smaller than the cup he’d usually pay for in UK, but he wasn’t going to complain. It was a rich and creamy, slightly bitter on his tongue, but sweet at the end. Lifting the cup for a second sip, he caught a figure strutting through the patio of the café, slimmed down by a dark blazer, slacks and dress shoes. She looked like she just left a business meeting, a decked in fancy and expensive clothing that made almost made him shy away from his lack of style. 

He brought his sight away from her, blinking once before he nearly jumped at her sudden appearance beside him, hand placed over the back of the seat. 

“Bonjour, messieurs,” she smiled at them and turned to greet Laswell, “et madam. J’espère que vous aimiez ce café, j’aime bien ce petit coin de Paris.”

Then she turned her gaze to him, her eyes brushing over his face and landing on the cup in his hand:

“Oh, merveilleux choix! That’s my favourite as well.”

He cursed in his mind, now feeling even more reluctant to work with The Chimera someone who was both a ruthless killer and a dangerous beauty, threatening to warm the tips of his ears with a small amount of bashfulness. 

“A pleasure to meet you,” she shook Laswell and Price’s hand, muttering out her name, “This should be interesting, I haven’t worked for the British yet. Americans though, that’s another thing.”

Gaz was almost fearful of you, if not amazed by your efficiency. You moved like a shadow, sliding from wall to wall while they worked to catch up to you. Perhaps it was your smaller and slimmer build that made you so agile, where you lacked in strength, you made up in agility.

He felt this imbalance, where he would admire and fear you. You had shown you hand many times when you sneaked up to them, suddenly appearing beside or behind them, surprising even Ghost whose first instinct was to attack, and much to his dismay, found himself locked under you.

There were many occasions where, if you weren’t on their side, you could have disposed of them, shot, stabbed and killed either one or all of them. It felt like helll, living on the edge of life and death on both sides, the exhaustion it led with you hovering over and around them like an omen of death. 

But for all the hardship and frustration they all shared, you had made this mission easier to finish: with less set backs and surprises. You worked behind the enemy line, letting them know where each person was and the weaker points in their surveillance. Your size had come in handy a second time, squeezing through the smallest gap you could find, and he’d watched and listened you work in near awe. 

It didn’t help either, that you had a pretty face, appealing to stare at but not overly beautiful. You were a subtle and quiet beauty, waiting and observing, stalking and learning, you were like a panther, a majestic animal waiting for the right time to strike. If you weren’t so pretty and amazing, he wouldn’t have the issue of being left in amazement while his fingers twitched for his gun, an instinctual act for survival against a bigger predator.

Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @danielle143 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @notspiders @brokenpieces-72 @petwifed @randominstake @haven-1307 @shironasumi @sparky--bunny @bloobewy @cod-z @sweetnanah @aldis-nuts @evolutionarry @kaoyamamegami @cassiecasluciluce

[hoshigray]

Back at it with pt. ii of the assassin duo! Toji x reader (finally!!): where the reader avoids Toji after the one-night stand, and it goes well for the most part. But can the same be said for Toji? How long can this quiet game go before someone snaps?

A/n: Am I writing this because I'm spitful of getting a community label on my sugar daddy! Toji x sugar baby! reader fic? Yes. Yes, I am. 🙃 Sighhh. But ya know what, it's all good because you lovelies gave it so much love, so tysm for 3k notes!!! And thank you so much for the 300+ followers!! Y'all are too kind~~~ Since I have no idea how to celebrate, I guess another poll will suffice so pick whichever prompt you'd like to see for next Thursday (as well as a bonus art from me hehe)!!!

Also, for context's sake, this is pt. ii of this drabble that I have written, so please give it a read if you ever feel confused. This fic was long overdue and is WAY longer than I EVER intended for it to be, so I apologize for this hefty piece of work. I do hope you like it tho!!

Also, also: @absoluteindulgence here ya go!! just as I promised ccc:

Cw: dom! Toji x fem! reader - fingering (fem! receiving) - Toji gets a bit possessive/jealous - sex in a public place (workplace) - biting - clitoral play (pinches 2x) - Toji is his coky self but reader doesn't back down - implied overstimulation (fem! receiving) - pet names (angel, angel face, baby, darlin', good girl, honey, sweetie, sweetheart, sweet thing) - third party interruptions (they don't walk in on you two doing the deed tho) - kissing session - edging (fem! receiving) - Toji steals your panties bc he's a cheeky asshat - ayoo Toji and reader catching feelings.

Wc: 5.1k (omfg I'm so sorry y'all lmao)

The last time you ran into Toji was the "I'll treat you for dinner with nothing attached" mishap you got yourself into. How can you not ridicule yourself for getting caught in such a moment? The man you hate with every fiber in your being practically had you folded like a pretzel, chuckling and teasing you in your most vulnerable state as he used your body in his way fit.

The most unpleasant thing about it was you reminiscing about those intimate moments you had with him that night. When his hot groans made you squeeze tighter on his dick. His thick fingers in your mouth play with your tongue as he kisses the nape of your neck from the back. When you hold him for support while he pounds into your wet folds, the naughty sounds make you bury your face into the crook of his neck.

Or worse: as Toji had his way with you, he called you the sweetest names as if he truly meant them, like he wouldn't mind calling you by them for the rest of his days.

Images of that night continue to haunt you, especially within the confines of your own home, in your own bed. How many nights has it been since you've fought the urge to touch yourself and failed? Losing count says quite a lot.

"Hnngh, shit shit shit...Fuck, y/n, you don't know what you're doing to me, baby." His voice is present in your mind as your fingers rub your clit. You shut your eyes close once you enter a digit inside your opening. "Awwh, are you embarrassed, angel? Don't wanna look me in the eye? No? Heh, then what are you grippin' 'round me for..." Another digit enters between your folds, and you grip your bedsheets while the memories still play in your head. "Damn, sweetie, lookin' so beautiful fr' me, ya know that?" Faster and faster your fingers go, your sensitivity inching higher and higher. "My beautiful darlin'."

And then you release. Cum slides down your inner thighs as your legs shake, your dignity and shame staining the dry sheets.

Damn you, Toji Fushiguro. Through gritted teeth and tears swelling up, you swear to not get mixed with that man from here on out.

And you do just that. Anytime you saw him within the same corridor or room, you would ghost him as if his familiar tall, solid build could never catch your eye. You'd go on about your business, onto the next task, onto the next client.

You didn't even take his missions anymore, nor did he for yours. Everything was going back to where it was before this incident of yours. As if you two never acknowledged each other in the first place.

It was for the best, at least that's what you told yourself. You had to get back to who you were previously, whether that meant being the top assassin or not. Whichever came first, as long as you were nowhere near him.

As for Toji, he could tell what game you were playing the moment your eyes no longer gave him the time of day. And Toji wasn't mad at it either; he preferred the "no feelings attached" approach. So he did his part to not get mixed into whatever you were doing, missions and all.

But as much Toji tries not to, he can't stop thinking about you. The way your hips sway when you walk past him, your voice soft yet stern when conversing with your handler, and when you check your small hands to see if you adequately cleaned off the blood from the mission prior.

His mind can only think of your wrists trapped under his single hand while he stuffs his fingers into your mouth with the other. Your legs and ass tremble as you ride him. Doing your best not to be too loud, but oh, Toji wants you loud. He wants you to let him know he's making you mewl and shriek, not giving a damn if the whole world knows as well. "Haaah—Ahhh!! T-Toji, please...I'm gonna cum, if you keep—Ohhh!"

Hearing you, kissing you, holding you, all of it. All of you. If he could have you close to him, he'd be as swift as a blink of an eye.

But again, he preferred this way. Less trouble, more work.

And it was going pretty alright.

Well, until you start going on missions with other hitmen.

Although your diligent work ethic and astute experience led you to the top, you've also gained respect and admiration from your colleagues, especially your junior subordinates.

And now that you seemed to stop associating yourself with Toji, some of the other guys tried to use this to their advantage to get closer to you and request your aid for some of their tasks.

And who are you to say no to helping others who wish to improve? There's no wrong in doing so.

Except there is a wrong. Its name is Toji Fushiguro, and the last straw was when he saw one of the juniors try to take you out to dinner (to which you declined, of course). He needed to stop this before some poor rookie's head decorated some walls.

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

Another day goes by, and you go down the hallway from a meeting with your handler, only to see Toji leaning on a wall. You've done this dance several times now. Just keep walking. You walk past him like nothing, easy peasy. Now onto the next task and go see-

"Y/n."

You stop in your tracks when someone calls out to you. No, you know who it was that said your name. It's been a while since you've heard his husky voice. You sigh and continue walking.

Toji's brows furrow. Unless you were seeing things he wasn't, you two were obviously the only people in this hall. Stopping at the sound of his voice is evidence that you're aware of his existence. Yet you move right along.

That's strike one.

He gets up from the wall and follows behind you. Toji stares at your figure, and he knows you can sense him. He huffs, cursing you that you got him following you like some lovestruck schoolboy.

"Y/n." He tries it again.

You didn't stop this time, your face in the direction you were heading.

That's strike two.

Toji sucks his teeth. Now this is getting annoying. He takes five giant steps and places his hand on your shoulder, gripping it so you can stop at that spot. "Yo!!" He doesn't bother hiding his irritation.

"Hey!"

You free your shoulder from his hand in a swift motion, smacking his arm away. It was a small action, but it gave you enough leeway to hop a few extra meters away from him.

However, Toji was way quicker than that.

He grabs and pins you onto the wall of the hallway corner. You wince as the pain is slight, yet nothing too life-threatening. But that can't be said for the look Toji was giving you. Black brows are pulled down, and his forest-green eyes affirm that he's livid.

Strike three it is.

"I fucking dare you to try and get yourself out of this one," His rough hands are now on your shoulders, but they're keeping you in one place this time. "Try it."

A displeased frown paints your face. "Oh? Are you challenging me? I thought you'd have half the brain to know that's not a good idea."

He sneers at your attempt at sounding threatening. It always worked with others, but never with him. He found you adorable for always trying. "Hmph, your sassy mouth loves to spit out venom," Toji leans his face in, his nose almost touching yours. "Thought I fucked that attitude right out of ya."

You bring a knee to his groin, but again, Toji is one step ahead. Grabbing your leg and pulling it up with one hand while he uses the other to hold your wrists above your head.

Your eyes widen. This position, the memories, it's all coming back to you.

Pull yourself together, damn it!

"Tch, what is this about now, you reckless bear?" You glare at the man, trying to stay calm in this predicament.

"I'm fine playing the avoiding game—"

"You don't seem fine about it now." You cut him off.

"I wonder who's to blame for that."

"What the hell did I do? I carried on with my work and left you alone. Everything was going back to how it used to—"

"I don't think you avoiding me and going on other missions with other guys used to happen."

How you fought the urge to roll your eyes amazed you. "What are you, an elementary schooler? Why does it matter to you what I do with my time?"

"Shut up. You know I've been in this field longer than you have, and when you came into the picture, you always chose to be alone."

"Again," your patience wears thin by the second. "Why does it matter to you?"

Silence. He just stares at you as anger dwindles out bit by bit, but he's in his thoughts as his eyes hone in on yours.

"Well?" You press on while he's stumped. "Why?"

No answer, averting his eyes to the side like he'd find the answer there. Then, they come back to your face. Or rather, your lips.

Your breath hitches. "Fushiguro?"

His emerald eyes return to yours, yet his irritation is clouded in a softer tone. Those eyes now express the hooded look from that night. Toji places your leg onto his shoulder and leans closer to you.

"Fushigu—"

"Shhh," His deep voice sounded more demanding when hushed. "Let me have this. Have you."

His lips press onto yours before you deny him. Toji finally frees your hands to cup your face, and his tongue runs through your teeth, waiting for permission to enter. You should be fighting this. You have to fight it. But your mouth opens for him, and your hands grab his shoulders for stability.

You moan sweetly when he slides his tongue into yours, your balance starting to fail you. "I'm still on one leg, you asshole." You manage to say in-between kisses.

Toji laughs a bit before changing your position, pressing your back against the wall with your legs wrapped around him. Once you're comfortable, he's back on attacking your lips. It gets rougher and more passionate, teeth clashing and biting your bottom lip.

He groans when a hand pulls on his hair, his hands grope on your ass lovingly. He breaks up the kiss, you two catching your breath. He gazes at you, "You too, huh?"

Your lips quiver when you turn away from him and nod. He snickers. "Look at you being all shy. You were talking with a lot of sass not too long ago, and now you can barely look at me." He draws his face closer to your neck, giving it sweet kisses and tiny bites that cause you to gasp. And Toji was enjoying your reactions. "Knowing that I'm the one that can make you like this — Mmmph, makes me want to fuck you here and now."

And that's what you want. You won't admit it, but he already knows that. The cooperation with him at this very moment proves it. You want him just as much as he does you.

"Y/n! Where are you?"

The two of you freeze when another voice comes from the other side of the hall. Then you remember a rookie who needed help with a mission today, and you were headed to see him right after your meeting. And now you're pressed between a wall and Toji fucking Fushiguro with your legs wrapped around his waist.

If he sees me like this with Fushiguro, I'm finished!

"T-Toji," your whisper grabs the older man's attention. "You have to put me down. They're waiting for me."

Toji squints at you and then a look of realization. The grin that creeps on his face alerts something in your brain, and you don't know if you like it or not. There's little time for you to come to a proper answer because Toji moves away from the wall and brings you along for the ride. Your arms hold around his neck so you don't fall off as he enters a room and locks the door.

You're now in a tiny conference room with the lights off, only the sunlight peeking through the blinds of the sole window in front of the round table.

"What are you doing, Fushigur—Ack!" Toji throws you onto the table. The pain from your head distracts you from the fact that he's pulling your pants off in immediate haste.

His chuckles sound dangerously low. "So you thought I'd just let you go on some mission when I already have you right where I want you?" Toji spreads your legs for your undergarments to be displayed, whistling at the lewd image of a damp spot on the piece of clothing. "Oh, sweetheart, not with these cute lil' panties of yours."

You were about to get up and grab for his neck, but a finger pushed into your pussy through the cloth. A squeal slips out, and you're quick to cover your mouth.

"Careful, princess," his big hands pull your panties off you, and they meet the cold floor. His middle and forefinger slide up and down between slick-coated cunt has you biting your lip, and Toji likes the determination. "Don't want whoever lookin' for you to walk in on us. This pussy is for my eyes to see only."

"Haaaah...You're such a bastard, Fushiguro—Ooohh!!" Toji pushes his finger into your clothed opening, his free hand coming in the clutch to cover your voice.

Toji leans close to your face with the vibrations of your mewls rippling through his palm while his thick digit plays with your slit. "I mean it, kid. Don't play with me." You nod meekly, and he kisses your forehead for your obedience.

"Hmm, I wonder where y/n went. Hopefully, they didn't forget..." You can hear the voice of your subordinate on the other side of the door as if he's directly in front of it.

Another finger is added into the mix, and tears start to form as you wince through the pain of your nether lips being stretched. You try calling out to Toji, yet it's no use with his big warm hand dwarfing your sobs.

He does remove it, though, using it to maneuver your head so he can lay kisses on your neck. Your choked hiccups sound like sweet notes to his ears. "So good fr' me, sweetie. You smell so fuckin' good. Who're you trying to pull?"

"No-No one...Ahhhh..." You answer in gasps while his digits scrape your inner walls, your mind turning to mush. "I'm not trying anything— Oh fuck..."

"Bullshit." Toji groans and bites your collarbone, and a sharp gasp leaves you. "All this attention, all these rookies gawkin' at you like you're their prize."

"Why? You jealous, Fushiguro?" It wasn't meant to be a snarky comment, yet there was some spice. The glare he gives you sends a chill down your spine. One is sent back to show that you're standing your ground despite the humiliation you're going through.

You're about to say some more; however, you hear the doorknob jolt, and the clench of your velvety walls around Toji's fingers doesn't go past him.

"Huh? Why's the door locked?"

The shock on your face lights a lightbulb for Toji as a big grin takes over him. "Yeah? This space is occupied." He calls out to the person behind the door, the petrified look on your face only fueling his mischievous fire.

"Oh shit, Mr. Fushiguro!?" He snickers at the other's response. "S-Sorry! I didn't mean to disrupt you! I was just looking for someone."

A brow is raised when Toji turns his head to the door. "Who?"

You send your knife-piercing eyes his way, but he still doesn't face you. This motherfucker...

"Y/n," the rookie replies sheepishly. "They said they'd help me and a partner of mine with a mission. But I haven't seen them for a while..."

Please don't ask where I am. Just go somewhere else—Oh God!!

Toji's fingers fasten the pace, and you quickly cover your mouth before the person, oblivious to your absence, gets any inclination of where you are. And it gets worse when Toji's thumb flicks your clit prompting a choked cry. Oh, he's such a cruel man.

Toji hums with a sly smile as he peers at your writhing figure. "Oh, really? Didn't know that."

"By any chance, do you know where they went?"

You can't vocally tell him anything, so you rely on your eyes to convey your anxious pleas, orbs begging him through streamed tears and hooded with shame.

But Toji won't let you off that easily because the fun has just started. He whispers, "Say my name, baby." You blink with scrunched brows. "Say my name like you did that night."

This is too fucking much for me! Your mind is going through waves of turbulence. Of all people to be in this situation with, it has to be the fucker getting a kick out of this!!

Before you think up another sentence, a stinging sensation jolts your body upwards to him. Toji sneers playfully as his fingers leave your soaked folds and pinch your clitoris, your reaction too adorable for him to not stop tormenting you. "C'mon, sweetheart, say my name with your cute ass voice."

Your mind is clouded in this euphoric atmosphere that you can feel the climax inching closer and closer. Your lips are now swollen from having to bite them constantly. Another pinch has you screaming in silence, and you're pushed to accept your fate and give him what he wants: your submission.

"Hic-T-Toji, please," eyes hooded in a fuzzy haze, you reach out for his face. He obliges as you caress his cheeks. "Too much, 's too —hic... too much..."

His jade orbs focus on your dazed expression. A smile pushes his scar up for his teeth to peek through. "There she is. That's my good girl." He draws in to kiss you, his body weight pushing you down on the cold table surface. However, a knock from the door behind him halts him from moving any further. Toji clicks his teeth. Fuckin' brat.

And he removes himself from you, especially his fingers that were warm inside your cunt. The sudden subtraction of them have you exclaiming in soft whimpers. The orgasm you were so close to achieving is ignored and slowly depletes. You feel as though you could cry through the sensitive.

Toji whispers a quick apology and licks his digits marinated with your fluid. Then he marches to the door and opens it enough for half of his body to be visible. The rookie jumps at the tall man looking at the other with the most terrifying scowl. "What?" His gruff voice carries authority, and your pussy throbs as you watch him handle the younger hitman.

"S-Sorry, sir! I asked if you've seen—"

"No, I haven't seen them. Why not ask their handler since they just had a meeting together."

"Oh, okay...Well, excuse me!" Your junior quickly bows at the intimidating senior and scampers out of the scene.

A heavy sigh leaves Toji as he closes and locks the door, "Fuckin' finally." The exasperated tone of his tone falters when he turns to you, replaced with the returning lust. "Now, where were we..." His hands undo the knot around his pants and loosen the hold around his hips.

When his dick is set free, you can't help but gawk at such a thing. Seeing it for the second time is just as — if not more — menacing as the first. The girth and size alone has your mind in a whirlwind, questioning how that even fit inside you in the first place.

Nevertheless, it's no use thinking about such matters because Toji aligns his cock around your folds. When he feels you tense at his veiny organ, he rubs your thighs tenderly to coax you. "Relax fr' me, angel." Hesitation is shown as you nod, but you even your breathing and prepare for him.

Toji pushes his length into you with every breath you take, and it's difficult to adjust to the foreign organ intruding into your poor hole. You grimace every time the tip is shoved against you. Tears finally fall down your face which are wiped by Toji's calloused fingers. "I know, honey, I know."

It feels like forever just having the tip of Toji's dick enter you, and when it does, oh, it does. A loud gasp exits your lips from the intrusion, and inaudible babbles fly out as he pushes his length, stretching your vulva as it ventures deep within you.

Toji, on the other hand, shivers as your inner walls clamp around his cock. "Jesus...This pussy is still so fuckin' tight." He hisses through gnashed teeth. Once the base of his member reaches your opening, you two take a moment to recollect yourselves.

"Hmmm, damn, I missed this." He grinds his hips into you, his hands posted on your hips to savor the clenching feeling of your pussy. "Heh, bet that brat of a subordinate wouldn't know how to handle you like I do."

Even with your mind foggy and senses at an all-time high, you give the older man a look of annoyance. You make your cunt squeeze hard on him, the unexpected action catching him by surprise as he lowers himself to you, using all his willpower not to cum so early.

Before he can curse you out for the unforeseen kegel, you cup his face to have him look at you. "For God's sake, can you not mention him while you're fucking me, Toji?" Your voice hushed for him to pay close attention, but your beautiful dazed expression distracts him. "I'm not thinking about anyone besides you."

You don't even give him a chance to his answer because you pull him into a kiss and moan sweetly into his mouth. He groans and slowly rocks his hips into a stable rhythm.

His thrusts gradually get faster and faster, rearranging your legs around his waist so you don't go sliding on the table surface. Your pants get sporadic, and your cries are a little louder than earlier. But not too loud for the whole building to hear, only for him.

The slap of his balls hitting your ass is so vulgar to the ears that you hide your face. "Cut that out, sweetheart," Toji wastes no time removing your hands and holds them down with his. A feeling of deja vu blossoms in the air. "Don't try hidin' away from me, baby. I want to see all of you."

A sudden burst of confidence fuels your sentence. "Then fuck me like you deserve all of me."

A fire is ignited in Toji, and a sudden deep thrust is thrown at you out of nowhere. Your sobs only propel him to continue piston his length into the deepest parts of your gummy walls.

The conference room is filled with nothing but the sound of your sexes smacking together, skin slapping against each other, and groans and moans in heavy puffs and pants.

"Haahh! Haaaaah!! Tojiii, Tojiiii," you whimper as his pumps go erratically fast, shivering beneath him as your legs cage him.

"Oh fuckin' shit," Toji curses with eyes shut, removing one hand from yours and snaking it down to your clit, using his fingers to press down on the sensitive bud.

Your orgasm climbs back up, and you want to claim it this time. "Toji, 'm gonna, gonna c—Ohhh!!"

"Yeah? Gonna cum for me, sweet thing? Gonna cum on my dick like the good girl you are?" You nod lazily. Toji doesn't buy it. "Use your words, baby. Is that what you want?"

"Yes, Toji, yes!! Please, I want it!!"

And he gives it to you as the pads of his fingers swipe on your bud rapidly. Your release comes crashing down on you when your cunt spasms around the girthy length. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and your body jolts with every wave of pleasure.

Toji isn't far from his peak, so he doesn't stop pounding into you for a few seconds. The hilt of his cock slams into your slick-covered opening, and you cry from the impact on your aching chasm. He fills you up with his own come and rests his body on you. His heaving figure feels pleasant on top of you.

The two of you begin to calm down as you finish each other's climax. Toji breathes on the crook of your neck and leaves a trail of kisses. "Fuck, pussy felt way too fuckin' good —kiss— Don't think I'd like the idea of sharin' you with the rest."

You shake your head and chuckle at him, placing your hands behind his neck and playing with his hair. "Whatever you say, you possessive loser."

Toji lifts his head and kisses your forehead before your lips, the two of you indulging in this tender moment as if nothing outside this space matters to you.

That is, until another knock on the door alerts you both, and Toji has to resist the urge to break the table you're lying on. Withdrawing from your embrace, he shouts at the person ruining his time with you. "Look here, brat! I told you this space is occupied!"

"I'm aware. That's why I came to get you." The different voice has Toji realize it wasn't the junior from before but his handler. Shiu Kong? "I was told by some rookie that you were in this room."

Toji groans as he puts his pants back on. For your sake, you keep your mouth shut and let the two men converse through the door between them. "What's up?"

"I just got you into a big operation. The client wants to meet with you to discuss plans and all that fun jazz. So meet with me outside the building whenever you're ready." And with that, Shiu's footsteps falter away from the room.

You finally get up from the table and grab your panties. Or, at least, look in the direction of where your panties should be. Looking to the left? Nope. To the right? Nada. Where did they go?

You hear the click of the door opening, and you run behind an office chair to hide your bare lower body. The culprit was Toji leaving to meet his handler, but what caught your eye was the familiar piece of clothing swirling around his finger. His childish smirk was plastered on his face. "Mind I borrow these for the rest of the day?"

Your face goes hot with unease. "Quit it, Fushiguro! I can feel your cum going down my legs, so hand it over!"

But he doesn't, stuffing the undergarments in his pocket, to your immediate horror. "Nah, I think I'll need 'em, ya know. A lil' motivation for me while I'm gone."

His dumb laugh fills his ego, but it stops when he sees you pick the chair up and throw it at him. He barely escapes as the furniture loudly bangs on the closed door, running away from the scene to meet up with Shiu.

"FUSHIGURO, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!"

It's the first time you lose your cool with Toji, and all you can think about in this room of shame and humiliation is why did you get yourself tangled up with the older man again!?

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

"I'm sorry for the sudden disappearance. Something came up on my end, and I had to take care of it immediately."

You found that subordinate later that day and apologized for your abrupt disappearance. They were accepted by the other, who nervously chuckled at your politeness.

"Oh, it's fine, y/n," he scratches his neck and looks to the ground. "I was just worried something happened with you, but I'm sure that wasn't the case since you're so good at what you do!"

You offer a small smile for his compliments, maintaining a calm composure so he doesn't see through the tiny nervous part of yourself. Oh, you don't even know the half of it, junior.

Your smile makes the younger hitman blush, but something catches his eye from behind you. "Huh? Oh, Mr. Fushiguro is back from his mission!"

You perk up at what your peer said, looking in the same direction he was. Shiu Kong was walking up with Toji tailing behind him. You greet Shiu with a brief bow, and he mirrors the action in return.

Once your eyes land on Toji, he's already grinning like a child with a hand rustling in a pocket, and you know what's inside it. "Hey, y/n." His patronizing tone doesn't go overlooked, causing your cheeks to heat up.

Your gaze averts from his cocky demeanor, yet you greet him. "Welcome back, Toji."

The look on the younger hitman across from you displays nothing but perplexity. Even Shiu Kong's brows shoot up with what you said. The junior is the first to say something. "Y/n, y-you just called Mr. Fushiguro by his first name!"

"Yeah, that's a first." Shiu agrees as the cigarette between his lips bounces at every word. "You only refer to him by his last name."

You blink once. You blink twice. And then it finally hits you. Oh shit.

The heat in your cheeks spreads across your face, and your lips lightly tremble as you try to explain yourself. But Toji beats you to the punch as he snakes an arm on your shoulder and brings you close to his chest, resulting in a squeak that your lips fail to suppress. He sneers at the younger man staring at the interaction.

"That's right, y/n and I have gotten pretty close, as you can tell." The grin on his face has a harmless glow, but those sharp emerald eyes of his are shadowed with a dangerous connotation. "After all, she is my special girl." Your subordinate gulps.

Toji snickers, satisfied with the younger hitman taking the hint. He then turns to you, and you do the same. "And as for you, darlin'," He leans in to whisper something in your ear. Something only for you to make your eyes wide and your breath still.

"Next time I see you with this brat, don't think I won't fuck the shit out of you with him watchin'. Show him just how special and good you are fr' me."

[unsoundedcomic]

Whumptober 2024 - 06 - "Not Realising They're Injured"

The Sonorie winter palace was in Alauri Beach, a dreamy subtropical district hugging Cresce's southernmost border. Northern districts feared Alderode and ill-intentioned Sharteshanian encroachment; locals said Alauri Beach's only enemy was the sea. Here the country harvested salt and seafood, chocolate and jewel-hued alien fruit that, after nearly a decade sequestered there, Roger still couldn't identify by name. He'd adjusted to the food, the mosquitos, the heat, the downpours, but loneliness remained a constant bedfellow. Even when his hosts provided alternatives.

Roger didn't spare a glance to the unclothed boy dozing in the fine satin bed behind him. Instead, from a high window of pebbled cerulean glass, he watched the waves lick the white sand shore far below, and thought of Mallory's mouth; of Mallory's dark lips parting to reveal Mallory's shell white incisors; of his bottom teeth rising to lightly close upon Mallory's tongue and stop him grunting as he came in Roger's throat.

Roger liked that thought, smiled, and added it to the letter unwinding from his quill.

He hadn't tasted that mouth in so many years. Sometimes he wondered if he hadn't dreamed their fiery affair. He'd certainly taken to romanticizing it in these ridiculous letters they shared, filling perfumed pages with whole bouquets of florid prose. Prick like a pine trunk. Creamy emissions sprayed across tendinous thighs and round, rosy ass. Ember eyes red and snapping. Roger thought he'd become quite the poet. But poetry by necessity was perhaps not as sweet as the lazy verses he'd written when he was younger, when life was easier, and Mallory was at hand to inspire his pen.

Roger slapped at a mosquito. Black legs and his own blood smeared his palm. His neck stung.

The palace was gorgeous. His personal quarters well suited the Queen's third husband. Its high stucco walls were covered in the softest gauzy drapes, and those drapes were slashed by golden cords pymarically aglow with shifting sun shafts and dancing firefly particles. Even the fine Foi-Hellick estate had not been this lavish, this luxurious with pymaric accoutrements. Fountains of emerald water burbled in each corner. Fragile blue fawns passed between them, sipped, would bow their heads respectfully if Roger met their eye. They were only glamours of course but he'd never seen finer. The peacocks too, and the songbirds. They peeled themselves off the walls every half hour, strutted about, clucked, sang, then replaced themselves in their murals. They smelled like sandalwood and one of the exotic fruits he couldn't name. It was the most beautiful room he'd ever seen, much less lived in.

Yet Roger thought of Mallory's strutting, Mallory's singing, Mallory's smell.

"It's a spear in my heart," he wrote, "That these glamours are more real to me than you may ever be again. If we don't meet soon, I hope the next assassin finds me alone and unguarded. Every day without you is a curse."

Gods, his neck hurt. Roger touched the bite but it wasn't bleeding. Perhaps the mosquito'd had that poxy fever that his servants warned him of sometimes, and now he was infected. Well, he shouldn't write so carelessly of dying, he supposed. The gods loved to ironically strike men down. But that would be poetry too, wouldn't it? He'd die long before Sonorie's people found the efheby.

Wait.

Efheby?

Was Mallory already-

From his bed, the boy muzzily called: "Lord Foi-Hellick?" Roger's thoughts scattered. "Why don't you tell me what I can do for you?"

Roger dropped his pen, gave his head a little shake to further scatter the blood-sucking swarm. "There is… there is naught to be done for me," he answered, "Not here. Not in this country."

"Pretend we are not in this country then. We will be in whatever country my Lord commands."

Roger stood. He turned from the pretty cerulean window, from his view of the southern sea. "Can you speak Tainish?"

Like marketplace produce, the boy in his sheets was beautifully arrayed, one leg bent beneath him, his soft cock sleeping on the cushion of his thigh. He nodded, and when he flashed his teeth in a smile, maybe there were too many teeth. Maybe they were the wrong shape.

"Ssa, maenhilo alata," he answered in the language of Roger's fathers, in the same ancient cadence Mallory used, "It is fine. I will speak any tongue my Lord desires."

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round 2 of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For Vegas and Pete:

Evil babygirl & stealthily evil babyboy. Vegas, known committer of atrocities, and Pete, who didn't rise up the ranks of being a mafia bodyguard for nothing. Never forget how Pete brutally shot and killed his coworker who dared to shoot Vegas in front of him.

I mean. They both kill people all the time. They even have evil gay BDSM sex. It's all right there.

it's plainly obvious to anyone even looking in their direction how murder husbands they are. both have canonically killed multiple people, often on screen. Not to mention the onscreen scene of Vegas literally torturing someone. 

For Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu:

you've got the founder of the fantasy ancient Chinese CIA and the leader of what is essentially the mafia and then they're soulmates and in love. they're both willing to kill anyone who dares hurt the other while also just wanting a soft domestic life together

Zhou Zishu is an assassin and spymaster who put the current Emperor on the throne, and then quit his job by faking his death (kinda, hes still dying but not as fast as he was supposed to). Had done A Lot on his old job, including murdering children (more than one, and at least one of them in a way I can't even describe without several trigger warnings), exterminating whole families, war crimes (and i dont mean this in a buzzword way, i mean "organized a public execution of foreign diplomats during war time")… btw he doesn't feel particularly bad about any of this, because he believes it was necessary. Like he wouldn't do it for fun, but he thinks the ends (putting a good Emperor on the throne) justified the means (all of the atrocities). As a retiree, he definitely cut down on the amount of morally reprehensible murder, but not murder in general. He still routinely kills ppl, he just doesn't go out of his way to kill more. Wen Kexing, meanwhile, is the Ghost Valley Master - Ghost Valley being a place where the worst of criminals are exiled. Even in such a place, he has reputation as a complete lunatic, owed partially to the fact that he either skinned a man or fed him his own flesh or both at one point, and partially to him having a rule where he would kill anyone who came closer than 3 meters to him. But in truth, everything he'd done was to survive the Ghost Valley and eventually take revenge for his parents, who were brutally murdered when he was only nine. By the start of the novel's timeline, he put his plan in motion - the plan that would drown jianghu in blood, but also deliver poetic justice to all responsible for his parents' deaths, as well as all who'd commit the same crime given the chance. And these two men, these two murderers and schemers, meet - and unexpectedly, find in each other the person who /understands/. The person who is just as ruthless and whose hands are just as bloody, but also the person who knows standing at the top of the world is not worth it, who seeks the same freedom of leaving it all behind, and who is still, underneath it all, a human, with human heart seeking connection. So you have this couple who understand each other with barely a word, and who want the same things - who are so hungry for domesticity and for people they can just goof around with when all their lives they had to measure every step and word - but ALSO where one half a couple is like "i gotta go murder hundreds in revenge" and the other half is like "ok pick you up at 6". (This btw is why I'm submitting novel's iteration of the couple in particular. Show wenzhou with their ridiculous breakups over morality could Never.) Also they were both hiding who they are when they first met, and later flirted about having figured each other out. Finally, I'll leave you my favorite quote that just. perfectly sums up their relationship: "And just like that, they fell asleep in each other's arms, steeped in the smell of blood."

You’ve probably already had submissions for them but I’ll add on. One of them founded an assassin’s guild and killed a staggering number of people. His malewife is the leader of a sect of insane murderous outcasts, and he attained his position by proving to be the most crazy and murder happy of them all. Most of the plot involves him wandering around watching his schemes get more people killed. Together they adopt a kid that was only orphaned due to said scheming (oops). They’re terrible and I love them.

[zahri-melitor]

Okay a loose Recent Reads roundup:

Birds of Prey: Sirens of Justice: so I was lured (tricked) into reading this as Gail Simone wrote one of the stories, even though it, sigh, contains far too much Harley Quinn due to movie synergy. The Dinah and Helena banter is decent, but otherwise this felt...aggressively fine. The Helena story is very pat in terms of how people tend to write Huntress shorts, though I guess it wasn't 'Helena worries about a student' this time.

The Question: The Deaths of Vic Sage: very much in conversation with O'Neil's run, of course, and also clearly reacting to contemporaneous US racial discussions. Shifting Myra to be the Mayor's sister not wife definitely alters her position in the narrative, particularly in terms of her obligations and response to situations. It is incredibly bleak in places, but that simply reflects the run it is based on and is a tribute to.

Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen: This is definitely for the Silver Age fan. Matt Fraction manages to string together solving a complex assassination plot over 12 issues by telling the story in short, 2-4 page sections that wildly jump around the timeline and are framed by 'the many ridiculous things that have happened to Jimmy Olsen'. I have absolutely no handle on the canonicity of some of this, particularly the extended Olsen family, and not knowing probably makes this read more easily. Looking at it as a whole, I'm impressed how well Fraction stitched what was effectively episodic 2 page fills into a complete narrative. The energy of the story is relentless. Best read in small doses.

Batman: Pennyworth R.I.P: god this comic could have been so much better than it was. It’s fine and accomplishes exactly what it was intended to do - tell a story of how Alfred influenced and looked out for each of Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian and Barbara - and sets everyone up to be mildly pissed at Bruce. But just for one example, it would have been HUGELY more powerful if they’d been able to use Dick, with his memories just restored, facing the fact he wasn’t there when Alfred needed him and his last interactions were so impersonal and spent pushing Alfred away.

Catwoman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular: again, underwhelming. Tom King played shipper and wrote his version of how the Helena Wayne story should work; the Dixon story felt 90s appropriate but the art was dire; Brubaker’s felt like a missing scene to his run; Dini’s honestly wasn’t up to the standard I’d hope for from Dini. The art pieces were great though; a lot of good commissions.

Robin 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular: I cannot work out who chose the covers used in the issue, which swing between 'iconic' and 'reminding everyone ASBAR exists was unnecessary, DC'.

Generally: they did manage to round up fairly iconic lineups for most of the stories, with some chopping and changing for a few.

Wolfman got another run at trying to frame the 'Dick quits v Bruce fires him' debate; Dixon and Grayson both submitted literal fills (Dixon's is a scene immediately after Nightwing #19 1996 and before #20; Grayson's is at least just an extra story that fits into #1-12 of her Titans 1999 run on a day all the second stringers didn't come to work). I don't actually have a problem with any of these - they're nice additional material, but mostly more of the same. Seeley & King's suffers from the usual Seeley problem for me where it would be vastly improved by having a different focus; but it does feel straight out of his Grayson run, with everything that implies (down to the St Hadrian's student I wish was not present). All of the Dick stories are basically "we got the team back together" creative line ups.

Jason, in contrast, makes it really obvious that nobody can define a definitive Jason run, and so gets the tiniest story with Winick and Dustin Nguyen. I checked, and Nguyen did draw part of UTRH, but I wouldn't have associated him as a character-defining artist for Jason. The story's cute. Winick sidestepped having to commit to anything about his opinions on post-Flashpoint Jason direction.

Tim got Adam Beechen (which honestly makes me happy, I don't care about anyone else's opinion) and luxuriates in Tim having to play civilian; Tynion gets a Rebirth story that I can't quite work out his timing on (it's supposed to be a prequel, but Dick is already back in costume as Nightwing and talking to Tim, suggesting that several issues of the Rebirth Nightwing take place significantly before 'Tec #934) that is a classic 'Tim tells everyone how he feels about his brothers' story. I realise everyone boring has complained about Tim calling Damian a 'horrible gremlin' but the thing is you see I can only read nicknames like that as full of affection. The back and forth is an important part of their relationship, as shown by Damian snapping 'you're only listening to the insults'.

Steph gets her 71 days as Robin slightly padded out and Amy Wolfram manages to pick up Willingham's tone pretty well; I suspect she liaised with Damion Scott quite a bit on this piece.

Damian has a Super Sons piece from Tomasi, because it's the most lighthearted option available and it sells very well (it's sickly sweet). Which was probably the right call as the other piece is clearly written by Robbie Thompson to accompany his Teen Titans run and for the downward spiral going on there. Which is honestly a bit of a pity for Damian, given everyone else got feature pieces from favourite runs, and he got the 'this slots into your current story' piece.

[teecupangel]

oh man as someone who has been in an isekai/transmigrator binge and as someone who ADORES throwing desmond in various eras/dimensions/worlds/universes the isekai desmond thing tickles both my fancies (and the ridiculously longass title made me cackle because thats too on point with isekai).

but i got to ask: would they have an isekai system? would there be a kind of animus-like game system for desmond to help him? would it appear with the other poor unfortunate assassins who got isekaid?

also i'm now having brainworms thinking that the soul swap round robin happened because it's, like, minerva's calculations trying to keep the timeline in check because it's a timeline where the solar flare was kept in check. and maybe one of desmond's ancestors died too soon (bets on altair) and the system scrambled and tried to ctrl+z it but plopped the wrong soul and now *another* assassin is accidentally dead so they plop another soul (the wrong one, of course) which all leads to desmond being plopped in ezio's body

I’m glad you enjoyed the longass title. It really gives off a Japanese isekai lightnovel vibe, doesn’t it? XD

I would like to include this addition from @seelezeit from the LegAss idea:

Ok but consider: Desmond -> Ezio -> Altair, Ezio's slot was open bc he went into Altair's slot. Or even Desmond -> Connor -> Ezio -> Altair but thats more a stretch

Desmond transmigrated to Ratonhnhaké:ton’s ‘story’ just screams:

But this could work?

Desmond gets transmigrated into Ratonhnhaké:ton after he got hit by Truck-kun, trying to cross the pedestrian lane (the light was green!) while looking at his phone because he got a notification that Abstergo is releasing a DLC for their latest game “Washington and the Wolf”.

Ratonhnhaké:ton gets transmigrated to Ezio Auditore’s life while he was asleep after finishing a book chronicling Ezio Auditore’s accomplishments as an Assassin (possibly written by Claudia Auditore but Achilles can’t be sure).

Ezio gets transmigrated as Altaïr after he lost consciousness while reading Altaïr’s journal before going to the ship that will sail him as close to Masyaf as possible.

To make it harder for them to not get involved and care for the people around them, they get transmigrated as children around 4ish years old after a fever that threatened their life. This way, there will be time for them to start to love the people around them and try to change their fates.

What happened to Altaïr?

He is the origin of the isekai system that appears before the Assassins and Desmond similar to the Architect from Solo Leveling or the Tower Master from SSS Class Revival Hunter. Or maybe he would be in a position similar to the Oldest Dream with the three being his sponsored ‘incarnation’? How about both? Let's go with both XD

Regardless, Altaïr appears before them by using the game mechanics that Desmond is more familiar with. To be more exact, he used the games as his basis to ‘communicate’ with the three he had unintentionally pulled from the future.

How?

Well… During the last few years of Altaïr’s life, he learns of the Isus’ plan to use his descendant to save the world. He would have left it alone since he learned the plan was to ‘guide and nurture’ his descendant and reward him after saving the world by letting him choose the future he wishes humanity to have, believing his descendant would do the right thing and give humanity the chance to make their own future.

Then he learned of the glitching probabilities of the future because the Isus did not take in consideration the actions of other humans, only focusing on ensuring that certain humans take specific actions.

Two names are given the highest priority to stay the course:

Ezio Auditore.

Ratonhnhaké:ton.

The more Altaïr finds out about these Isus and their plan, of how they played with the lives of people like puppets forced to play a tragedy over and over again, only to end in failure because they didn't care about the thoughts and desires of other humans…

Altaïr decided to destroy the Calculations.

The Calculations isn’t time itself nor is it destiny.

It is a shackle.

It is the barriers on the roads that promises that death lies beyond but lies, hiding alternative routes.

Would those routes be better than the Calculation being used by the Isus?

Altaïr didn’t know.

But, at least, this way…

They would all be free to choose their own future.

They would have what Altaïr didn’t have.

“Choice”.

Unfortunately, this ‘wish’ contradicted itself.

Because if one was to give them complete freedom to do what they wished, to be unshackled by the Calculations...

They risk the possibility of not being born in the first place.

Ezio’s actions, free from the Calculations, could lead him to not having Flavia, destroying the bloodline that Ratonhnhaké:ton would have been part of.

Ratonhnhaké:ton’s action, in turn, could lead to destroying the bloodline that Desmond would become part of.

Altaïr’s wish to ‘free’ them contradicts itself because that freedom could cause the disappearance of the people he wished to be ‘free’.

This causes an ERROR in the very fabric of time and space and Altaïr paid the price.

His very existence was wrenched from time and now he sits in an empty throne as the Overseer. Of course, his disappearance in the timeline must be fixed and that is how Ezio gets transmigrated into his time. This would cause Ezio to disappear in his original time so Ratonhnhaké:ton was pulled to take up his empty space. Desmond was pulled to fill up Ratonhnhaké:ton’s place.

And Desmond Miles’ place?

That future is no longer available. Everything after the day Desmond wakes up in Ratonhnhaké:ton’s place no longer exist.

It has been sacrificed.

To give Altaïr enough power over time and space to help the three men he had unintentionally taken out of their proper place.

A system similar to a video game interface was his only way of communication. A way to help them without taking too much power from 252 years-worth of history and probability that had been given to him.

The quests given to them lessen the price necessary to give them the rewards.

The calculation of their stats and the necessity of experience to level up creates a way to quantify how many ‘seconds’ would be taken from his reserve of history and probability to be given to them.

The ‘in-game’ shop they can access with points they receive from doing quests or even just doing mundane things have items that are priced by how many seconds they would take from Altaïr’s reserve of history and probability to materialized in their time. The points they get? They’re from the same reserve and the points are returned to the reserve when they buy something.

Unless… they use those points to add more stats instead.

Altaïr is playing a dangerous games, making the shop have objects that they would want in an attempt to ensure that he would have enough reserves to continue to help them while giving them the option to make themselves stronger faster than doing any quests he gives.

He cannot give a direct message. It would take years off the reserve just to send a short message.

So all he can do is use the system to help them.

To guide them.

To nurture them.

For them to choose a future for themselves in this new life they have been given.

[daemon-in-my-head]

I liked your thoughts in the latest post and I agree with the whole "Gortash was on board with Orin's plan" take. But did Durge really have a reason to go soft? What if he actually was the opposite. What if Gortash really wanted that blue tongue up his ass, but Durge was too busy having fun with corpses cause that's the only way his father allowed? Then, if Orin's plan goes well, Durge will no longer be the chosen and Gortash might have a chance (especially with the "i am your only ally now" act)? But Gortash underestimated Orin's madness so all he got from her is loosing any contact with his now lobotomized bhaal babe. And then his return but with a new fucking lover 🥴

yea.. I am sorry if I throw too much attention your way lately

Please don't stop throwing the attention I'm a whore for talking about these vile vile lovely gremlins. I'm thriving lol

Either way back to topic; yes yes mutually assured destruction and hubris being his down fall my beloved. Long story short; I can see it, I agree, and my personal HC/the dynamic between my Durge Elli nd Gortash is a mix of both of these things lol.

Ig spoilery territory for that longfic but here's what's going on in my personal dynamic cuz it's way easier to explain this way rather than my usual round about posting:

Sooo, I should begin by saying that Gortash has been trying to get rid of Orin for a while. She's a loose canon, most definitely distracting, and she can nd will influence Elli whenever he's showing a bit too much favor to the local tyrant.

All in all, though, they were somewhat okay with the current dynamic, at least up until everybody reunited at Moonrise. Not only did my Durge grow ever more unstable with the whole 'embracing the life he wishes to have with his equal vs glory for his creator and master'- bit as things got increasingly serious, there was also the whole kinda running from trauma stuff still going on. And now, on top of that, lovely lil Orin was absolutely fed up with being 'banished' to Moonrise by Elli, so the first thing she did was a pretty open and honest assassination attempt. Granted, it failed, but Elli didn't do anything to get revenge or smth either. Didn't even confront her about it besides ridiculing her a bit for her too-slow reflexes when anyone else would've lost their life for such audacity.

And welp. That kind of caused a certain somebody to snap. Gorty found out about her plans, and decided Elli can't see reason unless she corners him even more as clearly he's way too soft on her. So he kept his trap shut about what he knew was going to happen despite some more shit he found out that rly, rly, rly should've caused him to intervene but alas. His own obsession won over the reason he wanted to see in his equal.

TL;DR Gortash wanted Elli to make a choice and stick with it as Elli's old self would've done, but Elli didn't and instead he was oddly neutral so Gortash snapped and let it happen cuz my guy can't possibly communicate about what's going on. Also he does reason with himself that no matter the outcome, either Ellis death or his choice, would be in his favour and he'd finally fully surrender and his own plan could be accomplished just the way he wants it.

So I guess soft isn't quite the right word but it also is cuz technically yeah Durge is much softer than he used to be or is with anyone else but also Gortash is being absolutely 100% unreasonable but also he is reasonable cuz Orin IS a threat to their plans and idfk. It's a mess, I adore your take, in fact I've had a similar one but I choose to make it complicated LMFAO I hope my brain made sense for this one

[foulfirerebel]

True Weiss has tried to figure out “what comes next” but she can only even ask that question now that Salem got rid of Jacques, had Salem not targeted atlas he’d still be in charge,

As for the white fang, they haven’t actually progressed,

They stopped Adam and put ghira in charge again, basically resetting things back to how they where before sienna took over as in, the times Blake expressly told us weren’t working

Okay. I suppose this won't convince you of anything, but I'll take this one step at a time.

"True Weiss has tried to figure out “what comes next” but she can only even ask that question now that Salem got rid of Jacques, had Salem not targeted atlas he’d still be in charge."

Salem was going to target Atlas regardless, so that point is moot. Secondly, Ironwood already threatened Jacques that if he stepped out of line or got on his bad side he'd depose him in Volume 4. And to round things out, Salem's faction only gave Jacques enough rope to hang himself with given that his abusive behavior would've come to light eventually.

How do we know this? Willow planted cameras all over the mansion in case she ever needed to leave or bring things to the authorities, she only gets the courage to do so because WEISS came back and HELPED start the investigation AND also figured something was up.

The idea that Salem somehow helped things along is ridiculous, given that her motive and strategy is always divide and conquer WHICH WAS WORKING had Team RWBY not investigated into things further circa V7.

In short, Jacques already had plenty of enemies, Salem doesn't deserve any credit for his takedown, as he would've been brought down eventually.

~

"They stopped Adam and put Ghira in charge again, basically resetting things back to how they where before sienna took over as in, the times Blake expressly told us weren’t working."

As for the White Fang, yes they have progressed. They aren't at a "back to square one" situation just because Ghira took charge. Ghira himself says as much in V5, that Blake taught him the value of forgiveness with Illia and something that he should've realized regarding Sienna. Plus, Sienna and Ghira weren't enemies. Ghira even calls Sienna reasonable in V4 and respects that she's fighting for the Faunus, even if they disagree on methods.

Plus, the Faunus KNOW they cannot stay out of the literal fight for the world's sake otherwise things will stay stagnant and get WORSE for the Faunus. That's why they stopped Adam's militant group from literally ATTACKING ANOTHER SCHOOL.

You really think that letting Adam run rampant was going to change anything? That's letting a violent terrorist basically be the only face of resistance against oppression, and guess what? Normal people don't like that. There's propaganda at play when it comes to fighting oppression, sure, but there NEEDS to be a pushback when things go too far from within the movement before said extremism becomes its face.

Also, I'm sorry but where did Ghira say they were going to go back to square one? All they said was there was work to be done, and they all fought off Adam's White Fang when they tried to literally assassinate the Belladonna's and blow Haven up. Tell me, truly, how were either of those two actions Adam's faction took going to help Faunus at all?

Adam needed to be stopped before he further went rampant and tarnished people's legacies and names. Because when all you have is a violent extremist representing you, that's all people see. You need to have a variety of tactics and people to encourage betterness in society and people.

And standing on the sidelines wasn't working, clearly. Also, the reason why progress is slow on that front is because comms are still down. They stopped the White Fang and saved Haven from destruction, sure, but that's one Kingdom. There is work to be done across the world and that's going to take time.

Time they won't have if Salem isn't defeated.

~

And before you try me with the whole "Well, why didn't our heroes try anything against Ironwood or Atlas or Jacques?" Because:

They have no authority to make any moves. Blake has pull in the Faunus circles, sure, but outside Menagerie she's effectively nobody. With the communications still down, they can't effectively organize. Likewise, our heroes aren't in any position of power and don't have any real sway over people that Atlas or Mantle would recognize.

To add to the above, Weiss had her inheritence to the Schnee fortune and name stripped in V4. There goes any kind of pull over anyone in Atlas that they may recognize.

Also. People may not know Weiss has changed. They may still associate her with Jacques and her pompous attitude.

When our heroes DO have pull over people, they are refugees abandoned by Atlas who have nowhere to go now and require aid from the Faunus in the Crater. That's working alongside Robyn Hill's Happy Huntresses, who people are far more willing to hear out.

They barely got into Mantle before being arrested. They were forced into stealing an airship in V6 due to Cordo not listening to them. They stopped a whole pack of Sabyrs when they first came in, and got arrested afterward.

They need to work WITH Ironwood in order to figure out what to do about the oncoming threat of Salem. Had they refused, as Ironwood cleanly demonstrated at the end of V7, he can trump charges up and have them all placed under arrest as he attemped to black bag Robyn Hill too.

In the meantime, they do try to sway his opinion. They do push him away from martial law, they adamantly suggest working with Robyn Hill and the Happy Huntresses, and they're the ones that oust Jacques and get the evidence he's working with Watts.

Further, their plan actually works. It's only a stroke of bad luck in V8 that prevented everyone from evacuating safely and Ironwood's continued insistence on fascist bullshit.

To tie that back to point 1 as a final comment: Jacques is a businessman whom holds a lot of cards in Atlas. Taking him down isn't as simple as killing him, because then the assassin looks the part of the villain unless they bring proof of villainy to people that are willing to properly assess the evidence.

Which they did in V7.

Salem isn't an agent of change, she's a force of destruction and domination that seeks only the world's end. As people like @matrixdragon, @citadelofmythoughts, and others have said: our heroes have multitasked on this front, hence why they repeatedly tried brokering peace between Mantle and Atlas, stopping Adam's attack, etc.

Just because they are trying to focus on the literal end of the world doesn't mean they don't keep things like this in mind.

If they didn't, then maybe you'd be correct. But they did. So you're not.

Good day to you.

[utilitycaster]

i really enjoy your opinions on different builds! build-wise, do you have a favorite character for each campaign? (simply build-wise, so i suppose the question would be better phrased as "favorite build per campaign")

Hi anon!

Campaign 1 is hard simply because between the cast learning the system and there not being a huge number of options, most of the builds were pretty simple. Percy, Pike, and Keyleth don't really have many build choices at all - they're all good builds, and the players played them well, but it's pretty much as simple as "this is my class and subclass ok done" because Pike and Keyleth are both prepared casters. Grog taking fighter levels is solid but fairly straightforward. Vax gets points for narrative integration but it was so item-dependent and base assassin rogue is so weak. I am torn between Vex and Scanlan and I think I'm calling a tie, which I also am going to do for C3:

Vex makes the most out of a limited base subclass, and the observant feat is an excellent touch. The choices she made for terrain and enemies were well-integrated into her story, as was her choice to multiclass into rogue (assassin rogue as a multiclass for a dex-based combat class is a different story than for base class). Her spell list was solid to the point that she was a strong secondary healer, unusual for a ranger.

Scanlan had a good spread of feats (warcaster and tough) but what puts him here is that he was often the only full caster in a position to cast on the field, since Keyleth was frequently wildshaped and Pike absent. This is incredibly hard for a bard, and his spell list was an extremely good one that had to straddle healing and arcane utility all at once, and he did an admirable job.

Campaign 2 is Fjord; this has been discussed extensively, feel free to check my archives.

Campaign 3 is tough but I'm going for a tie between our Crownkeeper members, Fearne and Orym:

Fearne's level of rogue, while it initially made me take a sidelong glance, is why she rolled that 30 on persuasion this episode, and also is a very true choice to her character. A lot of the rest is, to be honest, the fact that her subclass is one of the best out there, but I've found her spell choices to generally be very well done, she's adapted to the divine damager role (honorable mention to Laura for doing this adeptly with Jester in C2 once Cad showed up), and I have to applaud taking ASIs instead of feats when appropriate. Her stat configuration also makes perfect sense for the character.

Orym as a fighter is strong out the gate but his choices of battlemaster moves make perfect sense for the role he played and are very useful in a party with two glass cannons but also two damage reduction tanks; it's good to have a dodge tank in the mix. His feats are focused on rounding out his skills and his optimized perception is truly ridiculous.

[spiced-koi-friend]

A Smile For The Road

Ruze continues to shove you and Gabriel together like Barbie dolls, and perhaps succeeds. Meanwhile, Altare is involving others in his nefarious schemes.

Previous Chapter

Assassin!Goldbullet x Politician!F!Reader, TW: bribery, implied stalking Words: 1509 | Rating: R | AO3

“Ohoho, I have a great idea.”

“What now, Ruze…”

It’s never a good thing when he comes up with an idea, because usually it means that someone is going to make a fool of themselves, and it’s rarely him. He just cackles at you, knowing you’ll never be mentally prepared for his bullshit.

“What if, we take you on a trip around town and show that you actually care about your community. Take a day in each of the districts, and it makes you a moving target so you’ll be more difficult to track. Wins all around!”

For once, you’re impressed with the idea, although as usual, your brain is trying to poke holes in his plan before anything can go wrong while you’re on the move.

“What about transportation?”

“Goldielocks and I will be with you the whole time, and we’ll switch around what car you’re in that way they never know.”

“And housing?”

“Betsy will take care of that, you know how picky he is about where he stays. And he volunteered to be your PR manager and plan all the stops.”

“...I was on board until you said that Bettel was planning most of this.”

“There’s worse things.”

Ruze cackles at you, looking over at Gabriel to gauge his reaction. He simply looks between the two of you, alarmed that you seem to be expecting something of him.

“What? Is there something on my face?”

“Are you up for a bit of political roadtripping? Take a bit to build support before election night? We can do it in the time between now and the next debate.”

You can’t read Gabriel’s face all that well, but it takes a bit of him thinking before he nods.

“I think I could clear my schedule… I’d need to check in with my boss though. Maybe take some time off, although I don’t know if they’ll approve since I just started.”

He grins at you, chuckling to himself as his eyes twinkle mischievously. It admittedly took you as second to get the joke, shaking your head at his ridiculous jests. 

“Alright, I’ll have to talk to Bettel to make sure he doesn’t plan anything stupid, or just do anything stupid in general. He better be having his brother look after his dog, I’m not dealing with the consequences of that dog’s mostly Taco Bell diet again.”

You round the desk, nodding to both of them as you go to speak to Bettel.

…

Shit. This keeps getting more and more complicated the longer he’s here. Now he’s involved in your campaigning? Altare already knows that he’s infiltrated in, but if he’s caught and recognized on television simping or doing something stupid, he’s done for. And so are you. 

“Aye Goldie, what’s going on in there?”

Ruze knocks on Gabriel’s head, startling him out of his thoughts.

“It’s… nothing. I guess I’m just worried I won’t be able to protect her…”

Gabriel starts fiddling with his necklace, holding it between his teeth while winding the chain around his fingers. The tips of his fingers on his other hand graze along the knife handle strapped in his belt holster, heart beating out of his chest as he tries to figure out how to fix all of this.

“Man, I saw your resume. If you can’t, no one can. I’ve seen some impressive shit in this industry, and I’m sure you have to. She’s just a mayor, not like you’re the secret service for the president or something. I mean, I don’t hate her, I’ve been working for her since I spawned into this world, or at least it feels like it. But this is easy shit, you’ll be okay.”

Gabriel looks at Ruze, eyeing him up and down, not expecting to receive a pep talk after all the teasing he’s been getting.

“And hey, if you’re looking to protect her heart from assholes wanting to use her for her position, you could ask her out. I don’t think she’d say no…”

Ruze gives him a shit-eating grin, and Gabriel realizes what he’s doing.

“Are you fucking around with me? I’ve been working here for a day and you’re trying to get me to date my boss? Isn’t that, like, illegal?”

“Eh, only if it interferes with your ability to work and there’s an unfair power dynamic being abused. And technically, she’s not your direct boss, I am. So you have me as a buffer, and a third wheel!”

“Oh shit…”

It all kind of hits him all at once, realizing he’s being dead serious. Ruze just cackles, wrapping an arm around Gabriel’s shoulders.

“You know when you first arrived, she could not shut up about you. So I made you take her out to lunch. She basically ripped me a new one when you guys got back, but it was worth it. I could tell it made her happier.”

“For real?”

“Do I look like the kind of bastard that just casually goes “oh hey, please date my boss, dude I just met”? Because I’m not. And if I did give off that vibe, I need to fix that.”

“She thinks I’m… pretty?”

“I mean, I think she’d rather tell you.”

He quirks an eyebrow at Ruze, before quickly realizing that you’re standing in the doorway. His face burns bright red, which he quickly tries to hide behind his hat and hands.

“Ruze!!”

“What!? I never promised to keep it a secret! I’m helping!”

“Helping, my ass! You flustered him and now it’s gonna be awkward!”

“Eh, I really doubt it. You should’ve seen his face.”

With that, before getting berated by you more, Ruze takes his leave. The two of you stand in silence, avoiding looking at each other as you try to grasp what Ruze was attempting to do.

“So… you think I’m pretty?”

“A little, if that doesn’t make you feel weird.”

“No! Not at all. It’s just, the feeling is mutual.”

Gabriel watches as rouge flushes up your neck, the way you start fiddling with the hem of your jacket and the bracelet around your wrist. A simple metal band with twelve stones, all different colors. He’ll have to ask about it later.

“Well that’s, convenient, I suppose.”

“Yeah…”

The silence is deafening, but he slowly works his way closer to you.

“So… do you wanna maybe, go out? Officially?”

When you don’t respond, he starts to think that he majorly fucked up, and starts thinking of every way he can possibly backpedal out of this.

“Yeah. I’d like to. Maybe we can try different restaurants as we make our rounds?”

“You think Ruze is going to let us go get food without him?”

“I mean, he tricked you into taking me out on a lunch date anyways.”

“Y’know what, you got me there.”

The two of you laugh, and he freezes when you grab his hand, looking down at you with wide eyes.

“Don’t stress yourself too much for this job. Just, let me know if you get overwhelmed, I’ll do anything I can to help.”

“I’m a big boy, don’t you worry about me. You’re paying me to worry about you, so let’s keep it that way.”

“Alright, Goldie~”

…

Altare slides a manilla folder across the desk, leaning back in the armchair as Axel hovers over his shoulder. The journalist warily opens it, thumbing through the photos and documents.

“I need you to follow these two, gather any photos you can. For every photo you get of the two of them, I’ll give you five hundred dollars.”

“That much? Is she your wife or something? Because if you’re wanting someone to follow them to see if she’s cheating, you got the wrong man. I don’t just go around photographing politicians without their knowledge. I mostly focus on nature and dogs.”

“I’m aware, which is why I need it to be you. You will be perfectly disguised, pretending to take pictures of the environment. And plus, don’t you need a little bonus? I heard from a little birdie that you were saving to go to medical school.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. But do you need to have them like, doing something? Is there something you’re looking for?”

“That is for me to know, and you to not worry about. As long as they’re both in frame and the image is not blurry, five hundred dollars. It’s that simple.”

The journalist pauses, looking down at the contents of the folder again as he tries to weigh his options.

“And this isn’t illegal?”

“As long as they’re in a public area, they cannot do a thing. Just don’t commit a crime, and it’s not illegal.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s how the law works in general, bro.”

Axel pipes up for the first time since arriving, startling both of them.

“...yes, thank you, Axel. Take the time this evening to go over your options, but do get back to me tomorrow with your decision.”

“Y-Yes sir…”

Altare and Axel take their exit, leaving Octavio to make a very difficult decision.

[jeanmoreaux]

Do I think the wesper scenes were cute? Yes. The actors are ridiculously so authentic in their roles

But did I also think the pacing, writing, directing and character relationships assassination build up was off? Absolutely.

Maybe it’s cz I’m somewhere on the ace spectrum…but I just feel Wylan would so not do one night stands/be reckless like that.

and especially knowing his background. Otherwise a very young boy who’s been isolated and left out his entire life, who just fled his murderous father and is on the run trying to maintain a cover—-nah fam

i get what you mean. sure they're cute, i agree. and their actors are doing their best. but their relationship and dynamic is so devoid of meaning compared to their slowburn book version. and yeah, the off-screen wesper hookup is such a curveball. it does kind of seem like an un-wylan thing to do, especially because i CANNOT even imagine a reasonable scenario in which wylan and jesper would have crossed paths in (presumably) the barrel that could have led to them hooking up. how did that random one night stand even come to be????? i don't assume wylan was doing rounds in the pubs and clubs, approaching handsome young strangers. he was probably keeping a low profile, staying out of people's way to avoid any trouble and attention, since, you know, his dad had JUST tried and failed to have him MURDERED..... i can't imagine finding someone to smooch was high on his list of priorities upon arriving in the barrel. i think he was more busy trying to survive on the streets. and we really need to remember, like you mentioned, that he grew up isolated and secluded to a degree that people barely even know he exists. i think it's fair too assume he isn't well practiced when it comes to social interactions. so diving headfirst into a sexual encounter with someone—no matter your sexuality—seems a little extreme when you're just starting to connect to people your age for the first time in your life. it's really not something that makes a lot of sense when you look at it too closely.

[cobrafantasies]

Dancing in a Minefield

SamBucky | Rated M | 5,661 words | Complete | AO3

Written to fulfill square G3: "This Isn't Payback, Is It?" for All Caps Bingo 2023, Round One, from @allcapsbingo!

Summary: The Cap Quartet is on a mission when Sam and Bucky have to go undercover at a gay bar. Undercover missions sometimes involve making out which sometimes leads to unresolved feelings becoming resolved.

Excerpt:

Sam watches Natasha spread herself over Bucky's broad thighs. She plants herself erotically in the center of his lap letting her hands float above his chest, she cups his jaw. Her movements are slow, calculated, deliberate. She tilts his chin up, tipping his head back. Bucky stares up at her, his mouth dropping every so slightly until finally, their lips meld easily in a seamless and filthy cadence.

And dammit. They look good, they look hot, Sam fumes. He can't take his eyes off them. He wants that. Wants to straddle those muscular thighs, wrap his own legs around the dips of Bucky's waist and just squeeze. Bucky's mouth would part for him too and Sam'd place his thumb over the softness of Bucky's lower lip and drag that ridiculous mouth to him. 

"Sam," Steve's voice calls over the comms and luckily tears Sam away from the scene and back to the mission.

The safe house they're staying in is small. The kitchen is the size of a closet, so if two people are in there at the same time they have to step sideways and still, they'll press against each other as they slide across. Which doesn't really help with Sam's growing attraction toward his new ex-assassin teammate. Especially when the man is in the kitchen twelve times a day to feed his super soldier appetite and coffee addiction.

They've just returned from the mission and somehow there's already a pot brewing by the time Sam walks in. Bucky and Natasha are laughing over the minuscule kitchen island. Sam stops at the front door to kick his boots off. His face feels hot and he knows it's the memory of those two swapping tongues from earlier.

Steve walks past Sam and marches to stand before the tiny kitchen. 

"Well done, everyone," Steve announces turning so he can look between the snickering duo and Sam, "Flashdrive?"

Steve holds out his hand and Natasha flashes him a wild grin. She slowly dips her hand under the collar of her shirt, into her bra. She pulls out a small device and hands it over to Steve.

Steve averts his eyes, his face beaming red, as he awkwardly tries to smile and then thanks her. Steve quickly rounds the kitchen island to plug the flash drive into a laptop. 

"Didn't know there was so much making out required for a flash drive," Sam jests, sauntering over to the kitchen space.

"Did it turn you on, Sam?" Natasha teases.

Read on AO3

[lnkedmyheart]

Me not liking dark era has nothing to do with whether or not I like Oda, I am not someone who is particularly affected by my personal dislike of characters and I am very neutral on him as a character, I hate the way the fandom treats him like some kind of faultless perfect mary sue, but canonically I find him flawed and vaguely interesting, I just find other characters more intersting. The reason I dont like the dark era is cause its boring to me.

I mean, I love Beast ln as well as the movie but I didnt particularly enjoy the day I picked up Dazai, both have to do with Oda as well. I just dont find Oda particularly entertaining to read cause he has such a deadpan noir style delivery which can be a hit or miss for people. His perspectives are interesting but his delivery, at least in translation feel painfully drained of any energy. It becomes a chore to read through it.

I also never really got invested in him or found him compelling as a character because he always felt like he was gonna die and I barely even knew him enough to become attached. For a character as passive as him to be compelling to me I need a lot of time with said character and I didnt get it with him. Even with his whole child assassin backstory he feels more like a gary stu than a real rounded character and most of his obvious flaws are cute little quirks. I mean he has real flaws which i tend to latch onto because they humanize him but mentioning them is taboo in the fandom outside of tumblr.

On the flip side I really enjoy Adam's perspective in Stormbringer because it was so ridiculous and entertaining to see the world from the eyes of an AI brain. I feel like I need some sort of a hook to enjoy narrative voices and I am never quite able to find that hook in Oda's narration.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round one of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For Kinn and Porsche:

First of all, Mafia prince meets poor boy whom he makes his bodyguard. They are canonically engaged. Some might say they're not that bad, but not only have both killed people without hesitation, they went into scenarios ON PURPOSE knowing what the end result will be. By the end of it all, power couple to the skies but also 2 unrelenting Mafia heads who can and will kill you if you so much as look at their partner wrong.

look the gun tango scene, when they're in the middle of an attempted coup, and they spin around while holding each other and shooting people, is the most iconic thing ever

For Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu:

you've got the founder of the fantasy ancient Chinese CIA and the leader of what is essentially the mafia and then they're soulmates and in love. they're both willing to kill anyone who dares hurt the other while also just wanting a soft domestic life together

Zhou Zishu is an assassin and spymaster who put the current Emperor on the throne, and then quit his job by faking his death (kinda, hes still dying but not as fast as he was supposed to). Had done A Lot on his old job, including murdering children (more than one, and at least one of them in a way I can't even describe without several trigger warnings), exterminating whole families, war crimes (and i dont mean this in a buzzword way, i mean "organized a public execution of foreign diplomats during war time")… btw he doesn't feel particularly bad about any of this, because he believes it was necessary. Like he wouldn't do it for fun, but he thinks the ends (putting a good Emperor on the throne) justified the means (all of the atrocities). As a retiree, he definitely cut down on the amount of morally reprehensible murder, but not murder in general. He still routinely kills ppl, he just doesn't go out of his way to kill more. Wen Kexing, meanwhile, is the Ghost Valley Master - Ghost Valley being a place where the worst of criminals are exiled. Even in such a place, he has reputation as a complete lunatic, owed partially to the fact that he either skinned a man or fed him his own flesh or both at one point, and partially to him having a rule where he would kill anyone who came closer than 3 meters to him. But in truth, everything he'd done was to survive the Ghost Valley and eventually take revenge for his parents, who were brutally murdered when he was only nine. By the start of the novel's timeline, he put his plan in motion - the plan that would drown jianghu in blood, but also deliver poetic justice to all responsible for his parents' deaths, as well as all who'd commit the same crime given the chance. And these two men, these two murderers and schemers, meet - and unexpectedly, find in each other the person who /understands/. The person who is just as ruthless and whose hands are just as bloody, but also the person who knows standing at the top of the world is not worth it, who seeks the same freedom of leaving it all behind, and who is still, underneath it all, a human, with human heart seeking connection. So you have this couple who understand each other with barely a word, and who want the same things - who are so hungry for domesticity and for people they can just goof around with when all their lives they had to measure every step and word - but ALSO where one half a couple is like "i gotta go murder hundreds in revenge" and the other half is like "ok pick you up at 6". (This btw is why I'm submitting novel's iteration of the couple in particular. Show wenzhou with their ridiculous breakups over morality could Never.) Also they were both hiding who they are when they first met, and later flirted about having figured each other out. Finally, I'll leave you my favorite quote that just. perfectly sums up their relationship: "And just like that, they fell asleep in each other's arms, steeped in the smell of blood."

You’ve probably already had submissions for them but I’ll add on. One of them founded an assassin’s guild and killed a staggering number of people. His malewife is the leader of a sect of insane murderous outcasts, and he attained his position by proving to be the most crazy and murder happy of them all. Most of the plot involves him wandering around watching his schemes get more people killed. Together they adopt a kid that was only orphaned due to said scheming (oops). They’re terrible and I love them.

[quoteablebooks]

Genre: Fiction, Adult, Fantasy Romance

Rating: 4.5 out of 5

Content Warning: Sexual content, Violence, Murder, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Death, Infidelity

Summary:

Stephen's god died on the longest day of the year…

Three years later, Stephen is a broken paladin, living only for the chance to be useful before he dies. But all that changes when he encounters a fugitive named Grace in an alley and witnesses an assassination attempt gone wrong. Now the pair must navigate a web of treachery, beset on all sides by spies and poisoners, while a cryptic killer stalks one step behind…

From the Hugo and Nebula Award winning author of Swordheart and The Twisted Ones comes a saga of murder, magic, and love on the far side of despair.

Your Honor, I love them

I got this novel from the library because I heard nothing but people singing the praises of T. Kingfisher and it fulfilled one of the prompts for my alphabet challenge this year. It is a bad habit of mine to not read the synopsis of books, so I wasn’t sure what exactly I was getting into. The story that unfolded as I read was a romance between two broken people who keep stumbling into assassination attempts and decapitated heads. While there are a few hiccups in the novel for me, this story was absolutely delightful, and after finishing this novel I immediately picked up another one by Kingfisher.

All the characters in this novel are well-rounded and lovable, even the ones who aren’t supposed to be. While at times both Grace and Stephen refusing to admit that the other is interested in them got a little annoying near the end of the will-they won’t-they, their motivations made perfect sense. They also had motivations outside of the romance, which isn’t always the case in some novels. The miscommunication between the two of them also made sense, though I did want to shake both of them and use their words, the problem was that the words were coming out wrong and the hurt didn’t let the other person listen. The fact that they were both older, with the aches and pains that go along with that, was terribly refreshing. I also appreciated that their happy ending was realistic and not a fairytale happily ever after.

T. Kingfisher had a dry sense of humor that I found absolutely delightful and I found myself smiling through a number of the passages throughout this novel. That being said, while this novel felt warm, I would not call it a cozy novel. After all, there are attempted assassinations and decapitated heads, but even when dealing with the darkness of the characters' pasts and the risk of death, the novel never feels heavy. Kingfisher never makes trauma feel insignificant, but they also don’t drown the reader in feelings of hopelessness and despair. There are also voices of reason in this novel that continually support the main characters and tell them when they are being absolutely ridiculous.

While romance is the main focus of this novel, world-building does not suffer. I have not read any of the other novels set in this world, but I immediately had a clear idea of the religion, politics, and city that we are brought into for the events of this story. While there isn’t much world-building outside of the city, given the events of the novel, that makes sense. Still, the different neighborhoods and social classes are clearly described, as well as the gruesomeness that our characters encounter. While I would not want to live in this novel, from the rooms at the Temple of the Rat to the perfume shop to the palace, I could see it all. Don’t get me started on all the wonderful passages about scents and Grace making perfumes.

As I mentioned, the one hiccup I had was that Grace and Stephen’s refusal to believe that the other one liked them got a little too repetitive for me. However, the biggest problem I had was that the ending of the novel was a bit of a Deus ex machina. While I wanted a happy ending, I would have liked our characters to figure it out together on page, instead of others doing all the work off-stage. It fits the themes of the novel, that one is never as lonely as one believes, but it was all a little too convenient. This is the only reason I am not giving this novel five stars.

Overall, I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a romance-heavy fantasy that feels warm and inviting. I can see some people not liking T. Kingfisher's narrative voice, but I absolutely adored it. I think this is a good novel to read if you’re trying to get into fantasy novels or just looking for a fantasy series that is not too heavy. 4.5 out of 5 stars rounded down to a 4.