#He'd prolly get stabbed.

[ofdeference]

@chthonicsurge asked: Nero doesn’t sleep. That much is obvious from a glance at his face, the deep, dark bags under his eyes denoting a life spent without so much as a wink of restful sleep. In the small instances he does drift off, he does nothing but toss and turn. Thrashing against invisible enemies until he startles himself awake. But the worst are the nights he awakes screaming. It’s a bone-chilling scream. The shadows of the room go wild as Nero lurches upright, panting, hands grabbing fistfuls of his hair as he trembles. Clenching his eyes tightly shut and pressing his fists to his temples to try to hold onto his control, biting the inside of his cheek until blood dribbles from his lips. Malice is in his eyes when the Turk approaches, breathing hard, a wild look about him that says he will not hesitate. He exhales shakily and sinks back down, closing his eyes. “Just a dream. My apologies for interrupting your beauty sleep, Turk.”

Peaceful isn't a word he'd use under the same roof as someone so unsettling but it had been as close to it as he had come since the assignment started. Nero had not yet given him reason to doubt his safety, but one moment is all it took. His gun lay at the corner of the desk he'd commandeered, lamp light a dull yellow casting its glow in a ring around him and only him. It barely reached beyond the aged surface of his work space.

In such a confined space where the bustle of the city is vanished, every minute sound is amplified, leaving him with no uncertain direction in which the scream emanated from. He'd never heard anything like it, nails on a chalkboard, the animalistic terror of a beast in the throes of its own death desperately clawing for that end to make the pain stop.

Tseng is frozen in place, fingers clenched tight around his pen as he looks up to see the muted darkness of the room shift and writhe. Nero...

It is a terrible idea to approach the sleeping in the throes of a nightmare, he learned this lesson the hard way with Veld, and yet approach he does, barreling into the side room pistol in hand to fend off whatever it was that was attacking him and..

Those eyes fixate upon him and for a heartbeat he wonders if he'll ever breathe again. The fear that takes hold is just as great as the terror he felt in the unknown wailing, finger trembling on the trigger.

What are you afraid of, the noise? HA! The noise won't hurt you boy, but if you aren't going to fire the damn thing take your finger off the god damn trigger. NEVER rest your finger on it unless you mean to USE it. Now give the damn thing here.

Beauty sleep? Ah...shaking his head, he glances at the clock. Yes it was three in the morning, wasn't it? He'd meant to go to bed a while ago...

"Are you...alright?" He expects lip in return, a sneer condescending and biting but he can not in all good conscience leave the man to tremble in his bed.

[svperluminous]

A Finnlum story idea

Finn and Callum, already a couple, get thrown into some prison and they can't use their magic because of some magic cancelling collars. Finn's plan is to take down the big boss among the prisoners and take his place. Callum obviously hates the idea and wants to try to unite all the prisoners to resist the captors using kindness and solidarity. Finn initially says that it's a pointless idea but he can't say no to Callum so he reluctantly agrees.

Callum's plan doesn't work. The others mock him and get on with their day. Callum doesn't give up, trying to come up with different arguments each time but his enthusiasm diminishes and Finn hates seeing him like that. He then watches the big fish of the prison, studies his schedule, learns when and where he goes until he finds a window where he doesn't have his goons around. Finn presses a make-shift blade to the crime boss' throat and threatens him with torture, really making his threat serious and then tells him to convince the inmates to agree to Callum's proposal. After all, it would benefit them all in the long run, anyway.

The next day, Callum decides he's gonna try this one last time when suddenly he gets cheering and support. He's very excited and at first he thinks that he probably finally came up with good arguments. Finn says he's surprised and apologizes for not believing in him. But then it dawns on Callum that his boyfriend might have had something to do with it. "You threatened their leader, didn't you..." he asks, deadpan. "Only a little," replies Finn with a playful smirk. Callum figures this counts as teamwork.

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 23

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note.

Warning for strong themes of suicide in this chapter because of Beth, and well, everything else.

Herschel left the farm all by himself while we was out.

As the sun sets behind the porch railing, Lori explains to Rick and Glenn that Beth's in shock — the thing I was in this morning. She tries to mutter it under her beath, but I hear just fine that she tried to kill herself by slicing her wrists up. Different to how Momma did it, but I know just about every way there is, and that's one of 'em. If I were Beth, I would'a just jumped out the window. Prolly would'a worked, but maybe she didn't want it to. Lori and Patricia found her just in time to save her. She's laid up in bed now, apparently still staring at the wall.

Rick keeps glancing at me throughout the whole conversation. I don't know why he's doin' it, but I wish he'd cut it out.

Herschel told us today he'd learnt what grit was, but I guess he ain't learned enough to deal with his daughter wantin' to die, 'cause he hopped in his truck and took a trip to town to get away from it all. Maggie begs the two of 'em to go bring him back, and they agree.

"You got any guesses where he might'a gone?" Rick asks, putting his hat back on. Always savin' people. "Parks, stores, houses?"

"Hatlin's." She answers unhappily. "Bar on main street. He practically lived there in his drinking days. If he's gone anywhere, it's there."

I can't imagine Herschel in a bar. My Daddy and Uncle Merle used to rot away in bars when they was angry or sad, but that was them.

Rick must be thinking the same thing. "I didn't take Herschel for a drinker."

"He gave it up the day I was born." She half-smiles. "Didn't even allow liquor in the house... But not anymore, I guess."

"I've seen the place." Glenn assures her, holding her shoulder and turning to Rick. "I can drive us there."

"Okay." Before they turn to leave, he murmurs to Lori, "Does Daryl know 'bout Beth yet?"

She shakes her head and glances at me, too.

He warns her, "Well, you're gonna want to. Harley's been havin' a tough go of it and I ain't sure how this is... gonna affect her."

She gives a look of understanding. "I'll go talk to him now."

When he comes down the steps, he crouches in front of me. He's got his Dad-face on, the one that's all nice and reassuring.

"Hey, you did good today." He tells me. "How 'boutchu go find Carl and read some comic books together or something for a while?"

"Alright." I lilt, watching him gently clap me on my shoulder before following Glenn down the path toward the cars.

But as soon as they're gone, I don't go find Carl. I take myself around the side of the house and slouch between two old barrels in the grass, hiding from everyone. I've gotten real good at swallowing down the need to cry, so that's what I do. At some point, the darn ringing returns.

I wish some little animal would cross paths with me, so I could take my knife out and stab it dead. That'd make me feel better.

Merle would smack me if he saw me like this. Don't cry, Harley. Don't cry. Been a long, long day, but you don't gotta cry.

The sun soon disappears under the earth.

"Sh, sh, sh. Baby, it's okay." The night is quiet, but our little tent is filled with my pent-up sobs. "It's okay."

I wish I could go to sleep like everyone else, but I can't. The day's finally caught up with me. Rick and Glenn still haven't returned, but the farm's been a mess without 'em all the same. Dad's been watching me like a hawk since Lori spoke with him, and dinner was spent in silence, and I been trying not to cry for hours. He keeps crooning the same thing to me over and over. It's okay. I hear that stupid lie every time things aren't okay. It don't get any more okay-er no matter how hard I bawl or scream into his shoulder, or wish with all my heart and all my body, right down to my toes, that I weren't such a little wuss. I wish Sophia was alive. I wish Shane made it to Fort Benning.

Seems I'm always hurting. If anyone asked me what I did best, I'd say this. Sometimes feels like all I was made for.

I did good faking my way through the day, but as soon as I laid my head down to go to sleep and realized that I couldn't no more 'cause of my ear, I finally broke. Can't shoot, can't hear, can't sleep. Everything, even the way I curl up at night, been stripped from me.

"It's not okay," I moan, hating that when I close my eyes, I can still see the things I don't wanna. "S'all wrong. It hurts."

"I know it does, chicken. But I'm 'ere. I'm always here." He murmurs into my hair, holding me even tighter to his chest. "Just get it all out."

I wanna tell him I can't, it don't work that way. If you could cry yer sadness out, I would'a lost all mine by now. But he already knows. Just like me, he's made up of sadness. Most people say we're alike 'cause our matching scowls, our little moles. But more than anythin', it's that.

I don't think I've ever been this type of angry before. There's just nowhere to put it. There's no-one to blame. It's just inside me. And I think it'll be there forever, like my bones are. There's no use being sour at Rick or Dad for killin' Shane. You can't get mad at people when there's no right or wrong to it, when they was just doin' what needed to be done. Shane was crazy, we've always said it. He done so many things he shouldn't have. No, I ain't mad at them for that. Or at Glenn, or T, or Andrea for helping 'em. Not at the bullet that shot my ear off, not at the Greenes' God for takin' all my friends away. I'm just angry at being alive.

"He said it was gonna be d-different this time." He said a whole bunch'a things, but that one I remember. "Daddy, I want it t'be different."

"It will be, baby. It will. I'mma keep you safe with everythin' I got, okay?" At least that one's not a lie. "You know that."

"But I'on care about me." I pull back, my fingers twisted in his tank top. "It's everyone else that's dead. It's Shane and Sophia a-and Momma and Merle and Morales and prolly Meemaw and Kyle and my cousins. I'm sick of it! Ain't no point in movin' on if people gonna keep dyin'!"

"Don't talk like that, Harley Dixon." He gently scolds, brows twitching into a frown. "Don'tchu ever. There is a point."

Well, I don't get it no more. "I ca-an't even sleep properly, Dad."

"Well, let's just try again. You can lay on yer other side." He offers. "Dad'll read you another story, huh? Or you want me to sing again?"

"No." I croak miserably. I don't want a story. I don't even want a song. "Even if I go to sleep, t-that's ruined, too. I get nightmares. And when I wake up, it's the same thing all over again. Eatin' scraps and cryin' and takin' ringing meds just for somethin' else bad to happen."

"That's the way life is, Harley." He tells me, a little stricter this time. "I can't change it any more than you can. People die—"

"People mourn," I quote him with a roll of my wet eyes, "Life moves on. I heard."

"Stop it." He don't like that I mocked him, not one bit. Not when it comes to this. "It's true. We move on. We keep livin'."

"Well, maybe I don't wanna. Maybe I'm done."

Herschel says I got a thing called grit. Dad says I'm his brave girl. Carl thinks I'm some sorta badass, but really I'm just a nasty, broken little thing called Harley Dixon. I don't wanna keep living if living's full of death. Maybe it's better the other way. Beth thinks so. Momma sure did, too. I never got to ask her if it worked out like she wanted and got all her sadness taken away, but I like to think it did. I like to think there's no bad things where she is, only good and happy things. She ain't watched Shane die. She ain't stood at Sophia's grave. She ain't hurtin'.

"Little girl," Dad's voice is thin and shaky like a whisper, but also very, very, very angry. "I know you ain't just said that."

I stare right back at him through my tears without a word, 'cause I did say that. Not to hurt him, but because it's the truth.

He slowly starts shaking his head. "Nah, I ain't raised you this way. I ain't raised a girl that gives up."

My wobbly frown deepens. "So that's what Momma was, then? She was weak?"

"Yes. Weak an' stupid." He says unapologetically. "And I won't have you talkin' like her. Over my dead body, girl, I won't have it."

"And how's that?" I challenge him. "You gonna make Sophia come back? You gonna fix my ear? You gonna make Shane—?"

"Weren't me that did that, Harley. Weren't Rick, weren't nobody but himse—"

"—Come back? You gonna kiss it all better and sing a song?" I taunt, shouting in his face, "They're all dead!"

"I know they are." He argues, taking a moment to suck in a breath. "I'm sorry I ain't find Sophia. I'm sorry 'boutcher ear. I'm sorry you're hurtin' and I can't do nothin' about it, but this type'a talk ain't what's gonna help you, Harley. It's bein' strong. You gotta be stronger."

"But I ain't," I tell him, and the tears are back now, streaming down my face, 'cause I'm right. I ain't strong. "I'm just nothin'."

"You're my little girl, is whatchu are." He says sternly, voice cracking. "I love you more'un anythin'. How you think hearin' that makes me feel?"

Probably makes him see the little traces of Momma on my face. Makes him feel like he's failing the same woman twice.

But I'm just so tired, and I just don't care. "I'on care how it makes you feel, Daddy. I'on care 'bout nothin' anymore."

Being empty must be worse than being full of somethin' like anger, 'cause this is the thing that really gets to him. Under his pair of twisted brows, his sharp eyes start to well up, his mouth curls into a sneer. The crickets outside chirp happily either way, dutifully filling the silence that comes. For the first time, I think my Dad is wrong about something. There is no point in moving on. Bein' strong, that's a waste. Shane said we deserve for things to go differently, go better in some way that ain't so cruel, but it didn't. It won't.

"You're fuckin' scarin' me, Harley." He utters thinly. "You ain't never talked like this."

I know. I ain't never stayed down after a hit, but I been strong for so long, I think it's just ran out.

I don't answer him. Instead I confess quietly, "I think I wanna go sleep in somebody else's tent tonight, Dad."

I need out this stuffy tent. If I could sleep alone in a hole somewhere, I would. I'm done arguing. And he's done, too. He wordlessly slides me off his lap and helps me gather my bedding, trying his best not to tear up more than he already is, muttering to himself, swiping at his eyes. He leads me back to main camp, where all the lamps are shut off and the fire pits are smoking. The night air cools my hot, red cheeks. 

He taps his knuckles onto a crate just outside the Grimes' tent, and before he even steps back, there's shuffling inside.

The zipper peels back, revealing Lori's sleepy, moon-lit face. She takes us in with a confused look. "Daryl? What are you doing over here?"

"Listen, I'm sorry for wakin' ya." He murmurs, putting on a level voice. "Came to ask you if... Harley can bunk with you guys tonight."

"Uh, sure." She agrees kindly, encouraging me to step inside by my shoulder, taking my sleeping bag from Dad. "Everything alright?"

"No." He answers gruffly. No point in lying. He don't give up anything else, and she don't pry. He places a kiss to my hair. "Night, chicken."

"Night, Dad." I force myself to say back, 'cause I'm grateful he ain't just kept me stuck in our tent, and that he really listened.

As he gives me one last glance and then leaves, Lori zips the tent up and lays my bedding down next to hers and Rick's. Carl snoozes away in the corner, an open comic book splayed out over his chest. I bet Lori knows what's the matter with me. Rick saw that thousand-yard stare I had after they killed Shane, knows how I been hating myself. He no doubt told her everything. But she's too nice to say anything.

"Here, sweetie." She takes my lumpy pillow and sets it down. I wiggle into the sleeping bag. "Comfy?"

I give a nod, even though laying on my back feels real strange and I don't got Matilda anymore.

She smiles blearily and crawls back under the covers. "Wake me up if you need anything."

And that's that. I stare up at the sky through the Grimes' tent, counting the stars through the black mesh until I fall asleep.

Sometime during the night, I bolt awake, sweating, crying, confused. Shane, I couldn't save him. I watched him die. Again. A gunshot, blood, shouting, dying, searing pain and a dog tag dangling from a broken mirror. Darkness, and then two little hands on my shoulders, shaking me. A boyish, worried voice telling me, hey, it's just a nightmare. I cling to them. Carl. He's here. I don't think before I let him hug me. I sniffle into his neck as he pets the soft spot between my shoulder blades like his Momma and Daddy do when he's upset.

"It was him again," I shudder. "Shane. I miss him. I miss all of 'em."

Life moves on, Daddy said. But how's it that mine ain't? When's that moving part happen?

"Me, too." His arms tighten around me as much as a boy's can. "You're allowed."

After that, I remember the sound of blankets shuffling, a flashlight clicking on, a comic book being quietly read to me. I remember my eyes closing, heart slowing, and I remember thinking he's gonna be the best big brother one day. In a way, he already is.

The next morning, my eyes flutter open to the sight of a quiet, empty tent. By some miracle, I must've slept in a little. I hear the fire crackling away outside, the clinking of spoons on bowls, muffled conversation. After taking a minute to yawn and stretch, I crawl out the tent.

"Ah, there she is." As I round the camping chairs, Dale sends me a warm smile. I take the seat next to him. "Just in time for breakfast."

I glance up at the second storey of the farmhouse, imagining Beth behind one of those pretty windows. I wonder how she feels about waking up this morning. I know I'm exhausted, and all I've done is open my eyes. Another day of eating scraps, crying, and taking pills. Ironically enough, Lori interrupts my spacing out by holding out two little white capsules and a water bottle to me. She's speaking, but I'm not hearing her. I throw both pills back and wash 'em down so I don't gotta look at 'em any longer. I hate that my body can't work on its own anymore.

"Harley." Lori's voice comes quick and sharp this time, startling me. "Are you listening?"

I glare up at her. She's standing so close to me that I don't know how I couldn't hear what she said the first time. "Huh?"

She looks at me like I've done something strange. "I said, 'You can't take those on an empty stomach'. Are you hungry?"

"Oh. Yeah." Now everyone's lookin' at me like that. I reach under my hair and nervously tug on my ear as she turns and fills a bowl with the creamy soup cooking over the fire. I've never not been able to catch what someone's saying like that. She hands the food to me. "Thanks."

As conversation picks up again, I struggle to pin certain words being said, especially when they're from Andrea, who's sitting the furthest from me, and Lori, on my left. S'like half the world's gone silent, and the other half's just a high-pitch squeal. God, it's makin' me mad. I claw at my ear again, as if there's somethin' stuck in there, like a wad of earwax or a cork, but there ain't nothin' in there but the ringing.

A scary thought crosses my mind. If you can't hear for no good reason, that means you're deaf. I can't be deaf.

When Andrea looks directly at me and says something that I think's meant to be a joke, I snap back, "I can't fuckin' hear you, Andrea."

Her smile drops pretty fast, but I don't feel bad. I feel frightened. To my surprise, I don't get told by anyone to mind my language.

Lori just looks at me all pitiful-like and hesitates to guess, "Is it the ringing?" 

I'm tired of hearing about the ringing almost as much as I'm tired of hearing the ringing itself. "It ain't the damn— I just can't hear proper."

She glances side-long at Dale. "Herschel did say..."

He sighs, looking a little stressed, before scooting his chair closer to mine and clicking his fingers on my right ear. "What about that?"

It sounds like a far-away thud, thud, thud, where it should actually sound like a snap, snap, snap.

"S'dull." I mutter unconfidently. 

He moves to my left ear. This time, there isn't even any thud, thud, thud at all. It's just silence.

When I say nothing, he leans back. "I'm no doctor, but... It seems very obvious to me."

I'm not a doctor neither, and neither is Lori or T or Andrea or Carl, but it's all rather obvious to us, too. I can tell, 'cause they're all lookin' pretty uncomfortable, like this discovery has already ruined the rest of my life as I'm just sitting here. I'm losing hearing in my left ear. That's what it is. As soon as Dad mentioned my hearing to Herschel, and when it got worse at shooting practice, I was scared this would happen.

Ain't nobody shocked. I was never gonna walk away from a gunshot to the side of the head with all my hearing intact.

I guess whenever somebody talks, I'll just have to try reading their lips.

"I had a teacher who was deaf." Carl offers this up like it means anything. "She was really nice and smart. Everyone liked her."

I almost feel like scoffing at him, Wow, thanks so much, Carl. You've cured me.

"It's really nothing." Lori's quick to reassure me, covering for his shitty attempt. "Hundreds of people live like this and they still thrive."

"Hell, I think I'm going deaf sometimes, too." Dale jokes. "And I'd say I'm doing alright, wouldn't you?"

"Sure, Dale." I try to chuckle, staring down at my cold soup.

Nobody mentions the fact that having sharp senses is what keeps you alive nowadays. If a walker sneaks up on me, I won't hear it.

It's then that Dad walks into camp, looking nearly as tired as I feel. He mutters a good morning to everyone, and Lori reluctantly stands to go collect my bedding for him. I waste no time hopping out my seat and going over to hug him, locking my arms around his neck as he kneels to hold me close. I said a whole lotta things last night, and so did he, but I don't think either of us is angry at the other over it. We can read each other well enough to know. He kisses my cheek before pulling back and taking my things from Lori.

Clearing his throat like he does when he might cry, he asks me, "You sleep well, chicken?"

Instead of answering, I just hug his waist and Lori changes the subject. "Daryl, just a heads up. That thing Herschel spoke about..."

"Damn it." He sighs when what she's implying clicks. He reaches down to soothingly pet my hair. "And they still ain't back, are they?"

"No. But we both know Harley and Beth are... in some type of way. We need him."

"And y'all want me to go and fetch him, huh?" He guesses, taking a long moment to consider. Then, "Y'all be grateful you been good to me."

"Thank you, Daryl." She exclaims. "Thank you. We've always been able rely on you."

He scoffs. "Maybe not always."

"Well, enough." She smiles. "They said they were headed to a bar in town called Hatlin's. I think you'll wanna head there first."

"There even gonna be anythin' he can do?" He mumbles so I can barely make it out. "I mean, the guy ain't David Copperfield."

"Well, in the old world, I might've suggested trying out a hearing aid, but now... I'm not so sure."

He grunts. "Them things need batteries, don't they?"

"I think so, but not any standard ones we'd have. You're thinking of finding one, aren't you?"

"I'd turn the whole fuckin' country upside down to get her one, if it's what she needs." He says. "Maybe some old dead guy's wonderin' around with his. Maybe I find one in a doctor's office. Either way, ain't no bill attached to 'em these days and if there's one out there, I'll find it."

She admires the determination in his eyes, lips twitching into a smile. "Rick will help you. I know he will."

"Best I go find officer goody-two-shoes and company, then." He agrees. "Look after my girl for me."

She nods. "That goes without saying."

"I love you, baby." He tells me, which is how I know I done messed up. Takes a lot for him to randomly tell me he loves me, and I guess all that talk last night about giving up was enough. He even places another kiss to my cheek, pinching it after. "I'll see you later."

"I'm sorry, Dad." I mutter.

"I know." He understands I can't help what's happening to me, or how I feel. "I'm gonna get whatchu you need. It's gonna be alright."

I'm not quite sure what I need, but at least the adults seem to know. At least some part of me can be saved.

After he leaves to put my bedding back in our camp, I climb back into my seat and watch the blue truck bumble down the drive and eventually, through the trees. Dale encourages me to finish off my soup in that annoying way my Dad always does, but I only eat a spoonful or two before my stomach shrivels distastefully and he tells me I've tried enough for this morning, so I take to curling up and staring at the fire.

I know if Shane was alive to see what he did to me, he'd be that word Lori likes to say, appalled. He never wanted to hurt me.

A hearing aid. It's one of them things I've never had to think about until now. If I had to go back a couple months and tell seven-year-old Harley, with her long, straight hair and chubby cheeks and bright, green eyes, that I look like a boy, got half an ear, and need a hearing aid, I think she'd hit me upside the head for being a liar. But I know now that you gotta be ready for anythin', like dead people in barns and a last-minute gunshot, and now, I guess, the need for a hearing aid. I have to try squash that feeling of shame. It ain't good for me, but it's always there.

I almost make myself chuckle imagining Carl tryna make being half-deaf badass. He's so relentlessly supportive. They all are.

It's too bad, then, that I still feel this way. This numb and hollowed out, alive but-also-dead way.

The way Carol must feel, and maybe the way Dad felt after Momma died.

"Thank you." Maggie tells Lori and Jacqui in the kitchen, as I stand in front of the fireplace in the next room over. "This is nice of y'all."

I see what Glenn was talkin' about now, about Maggie's great grandfather lookin' like a bald Georgie Washington. He's sitting all proper and important-like inside a photo frame on the mantle, like all people from forever ago do. But there's also newer photos, ones with color, like Maggie and Beth as little girls, posing with horse riding trophies and smiling together at old Thanksgivings and Christmases. I feel happy just looking at them. Baby photos, kind-looking people, school photos. We never knew the Greenes before, but I feel like now I might.

"We just thought you could use some help." Lori replies. "It's been a difficult time for all of us, especially Harley and Beth."

"I appreciate it. Sharin' your supplies, that means a lot these days. You wouldn't mind helpin' me toss it all together will you?"

"Not at all." Jacqui pokes her head around the arch and calls out, "Harley, you wanna come help Maggie finish cooking?"

With a little flinch, I turn to face the three women, remembering why we came here in the first place. We had some tinned vegetables and whatever else left over from breakfast, and Lori thought we'd offer them to Maggie, who's in the middle of cooking a meal for Beth.

"I guess." I hum as I head into the kitchen. It ain't like I got anything better to do. "What're you makin'?"

"Potato soup." Maggie pulls a few bowls from the worn cabinets with a smile. "Well, veggie soup, now."

"Hopefully Beth will feel a little better after a warm breakfast." Lori muses. "It always helped me."

All their words are muffled, as if I'm underwater and they aren't, but I can still just about make out what they're saying.

When Maggie places the bowls on the counter and sees me peering over the ledge, she chuckles. "Let me grab you a stool, huh?"

She grabs a mini wooden step-ladder leaning against the pantry, pulls it open, and sets it down for me. I step onto the lowest rung. She fills a bowl with water from the faucet and slides it in front of me, instructing me to how to rinse off the fat, muddy potatoes and lay them on the dry rag afterwards. It's an easy, mindless task. I get to work while they start slicing up the vegetables and opening the tins. 

As Maggie scrapes carrot into the pot, she jokes, "I been makin' so much soup recently I think I forgot how to make anything else."

"Good thing we've taken a liking, then." Jacqui smiles. "I've never tasted a tater soup good as y'all Greenes'. You know your stuff."

Feels like I'm back at the quarry again, helping prepare our next meal from whatever scraps we had, listening to the women gossip.

"Pssh. I'm tellin' you, as kids, Beth and I loathed the day Wednesday came around and Momma'd make her famous potato soup." She scoffs, grinning at old memories. "She always put too much salt in, said it was good for us. But all it was good for was makin' us barf."

Lori makes a sassy face. "I'm taking it the recipe's been tweaked a little since then."

Maggie smirks. "Wouldn't be eatin' it if it hadn't."

"Must've been nice, growing up with food on the table that's straight from your garden."

"Yeah, it was. Fresh peaches and apples to take to school, home-made bread and the like. We've always lived this way."

"Pretty perfect, if you ask me." Jacqui agrees. "Me and my fiancé were always eatin' take away all the time. God, I miss it sometimes."

"A nice greasy burger sounds so good right now." Lori moans, like she can almost taste it. "Oh, and some curly fries on the side."

They all laugh. It's a little funny. I remember her back in the beginning, braggin' about how her family never ate fast food. Now look at her.

As the conversation drifts to more boring things, I find myself thinking about Beth again. We sure grew up different, but we got broken the same way, at the same time. We clearly been thinking about the same things. She was just brave enough to actually pick up a knife and do something about it. I wonder if she knows now her Momma and step-brother been dead a long time, that they weren't sick at all, and were just bodies needed mourning. The Greenes were a little late to that, but it's like Meemaw used to say, better late than never.

I wonder if Beth regrets what she did. She could be dead right now, in a mound of dirt right next to her Momma.

When I was littler, I used to think Dad could read my mind when I was thinkin' unsavoury things like this, and that he'd give me in trouble right away. I thought that's how it worked with adults and kids, but it ain't. I can think whatever I want and it's safe inside my head.

The potatoes get peeled and diced and thrown into the soup like everything else, and then my new job is to help wash dishes.

When we're down to the last few, Maggie says I should take the bowl of soup up to Beth, 'cause they've got this handled.

"Sure." I agree before hopping down, wondering why my heart's beating so fast all of a sudden.

The door to Beth's bedroom creaks open.

I don't bother waiting for her to give me permission to come in. I just creep in all on my own, because from what I've heard, she hasn't talked all day. Her room is exactly like I would'a guessed. Like something out a trendy teenager's magazine, with a nice white desk covered in perfume bottles and hair clips and crumpled paper and books, blonde pop star posters stuck to the walls, a fluffy, cutesy rug, a teddy bear thrown on the lounge chair sitting by the window. Even the Mp3 player Maggie was telling me about, laying forgotten on the floor.

I carefully set the hot bowl on her nightstand, but something keeps me curious, and I don't turn to leave just yet.

Beth's staring at the wall like they said. Not out the window or anything. Just at the wall. I can't imagine her humming sweetly and letting me borrow one of her shirts, giggling at something I said from the other side of the bathroom door. She looks like a totally different girl.

"I went into shock too, yesterday." I randomly muse. "Or at least that's what Rick said. He's the one with the cowboy hat."

I think I might still be in shock. I'm talking and walking around, but inside, I feel like whatever statue Beth's turned into.

"I ain't sure if anyone's told you about it, but you prolly heard the screamin'. The man my Daddy stabbed, Shane, he took me away. We got pretty far. Sometimes I think about what would'a happened if we got even further, but... he was meant to die. Some people just are."

At that, she breaks her gaze away from that spot on the wall and looks me right in the eye. "Do you think I'm one of those people?"

"I... I ain't smart enough to know." I say honestly, before an awkward pause takes over. "'Cause I was only in grade two, y'know."

Carl seemed to find that funny when I first told him, but Beth just looks uninterested.

"And you?" She hides her bandaged wrists under the covers when she catches me looking. "What're you meant for? Dyin', or somethin' else?"

"I think, um... All I'm meant for is suckin' up hurt." I confess. "Like, there's all this bad in the world, and when there's nobody left for it to go to, it goes to me. Maybe I'm just unlucky. Maybe I done somethin' wrong. That's how life is, my Daddy says. So if that's the 'something else', I think I'd rather just be the type meant for dyin'. That's what my Momma did. She was in pain, and then one day... She wasn't."

"She killed herself," Beth says as fact.

"Yeah." I mutter, feeling the weight of the locket crush down on my chest as I take a seat on the edge of the bed. "She did."

"Was she the sort meant for dyin'?"

"No. She weren't." That much, I'm sure of. "She was just meant to be my Momma."

Beth's pretty eyes gloss over as she says very dully, "Our Mom's dead, too. Right before I thought I was about to die, I imagined what she'd think of me when we'd meet in heaven. She'd be ashamed, I know. Somehow, that was so much worse than the thought of going to Hell."

"Well, maybe your God made sure you didn't die." I guess, hoping it's comforting. "Maybe he wants you to live for everybody else."

A tear beads up on her waterline before sliding down her pale cheek. "I just don't know what to do. I think I'm ashamed, too."

"My Dad says you just gotta be stronger, but I don't know how." I wish I did. "I'm sorry. I'd tell you if I did."

"It's okay." With a sniff, she sends me a tiny smile. "You know, you're kind. I can just tell."

That makes me smile back. Something about my rugged hair, my mean face, my missing ear must still be soft like it was before.

Author's Note.

Sorry for the longer than usual wait between chapters! I've been dealing with intense writer's block recently so it just took me a while to get this out, but I'm pushing through!

I hope you're ready for a familiar face to return next chapter! ;)

PS. I wanted to thank you all for the touching dms and messages I've received recently, both on here and on ao3. It's still so mind blowing to me that there are so many people out there who hold a special place in their heart for this story just like I do. I'm so grateful for you all :) 💙

[apollodarling-writes]

Can we have a killing Worshipper Levi fic? Like maybe we had the chance to because he left a knife out or something and when he noticed we had it he was shocked but before he could do anything we stabbed it into him right in the stomach and then we pulled out and stabbed him in the heart. How would that end and play out?

KILLING YAN! WORSHIPPER LEVI

tws: murder, gore, angst, brief noncon implications, depression, trauma mentions, kidnapping, violence, CHARACTER DEATH, gaslighting, mentions of stalking, LOW EFFORT!!!, body mutilation, victim blaming, vomit, its prolly shitty ngl

How long has it been since Levi had taken you? You weren't sure. You could feel yourself leaning into his affections the longer you stayed and the thought was enough for you to be disgusted with yourself. How had things gone this way?

You were ripped away from your career and stayed locked in his home, a chain around your ankle that allowed you to get to where you needed to go, but didn't give you enough slack to get to his office. You were almost certain the key was in there. Or maybe it was on his person. You weren't sure.

You learned to behave, becoming docile and obedient, almost like he'd taken in a stray dog. You cleaned his cabin, made sure his clothes were clean and folded the way he liked, and made sure there was a hot meal ready for him when he returned home. It's not as if he was truly awful to you... he was just a little creepy.

The excessive staring and the way he looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky, or like you were God herself, was a little off-putting... but it was tolerable. You didn't mind how he'd coddle you or take care of all your needs. You don't have to work anymore and you never have to worry about bills ever again. So, maybe it was alright to stay here...

No, you firmly tell yourself. He's killed so many people.

If I don't escape for myself, then I have to escape for Erwin, Armin, Jean, and all the others he's killed...

You glance around the kitchen. Surely, there's something you can use. You'd behaved since your last...

"[Name]. Put it down. I'm only going to tell you once."

"Or what? Or you'll hurt me? Kill me?" You'd scoffed at him, disbelieving that he'd lay a finger on you. Oh, how wrong you were.

Levi was quick to disarm you, twisting your arm and snapping it at the elbow. You remember the shrill scream that erupted from your throat, guttural and utterly pained. He'd dropped you to your ass, mounting you and snapping your other arm.

Levi was quick to shove his fingers into your mouth, a dark look in his eyes that made you think twice about biting his fingers. He made haste, pulling down your undergarments and throwing your legs over his shoulder, whispering apologies and sweet nothings.

"If you'd just listen... I-I'd take such good care of you, pretty- nnggh!-"

You hadn't realized that you were crying until the fog in your mind had cleared, a throbbing phantom pain in each arm. You shuddered, feeling bile rise to the back of your throat, and rushed to the bathroom. You rinsed the inside of your mouth with cool water after you'd hurled your guts up, and rushed back to the kitchen.

There, sitting practically gifted wrapped in the knife block, were several kitchen knives. You glanced at the clock- there was about an hour before Levi returned home. If you thought hard enough, planned appropriately, you'd be able to make it out. So, you continued making dinner so as to not raise suspicion, making a dish he'd made quite often when you were locked in the cage in the farthest corner of his cellar.

You'd set the table, the soup steaming, and placed a cup of tea beside his meal, waiting patiently for him to return. It seemed luck was on your side tonight, as the moment you'd sat down, Levi had walked through the front door.

"I'm home, darling." The short man says, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips when he notices what you'd prepared for dinner. You stand, removing his coat and placing it on the hook as he removes his shoes.

"How was work?" You ask. As you were trained to.

Levi takes his seat, placing a napkin in the collar of his shirt, and searches for the salt and pepper.

"Ah, I-I'm sorry. I forgot to bring the salt and pepper." You stand, making your way to the kitchen and discreetly look back at Levi.

Good. He's not looking...

You quickly and quietly take the smallest knife from the block, shoving it in the back of your sweatpants as you turn and grab the salt and pepper. Rushing back to the dining room, you place both in front of him and take your seat once more. The two of you eat, Levi yapping on and on about things that you had no interest in, but for the sake of maintaining your cover, you pretended you cared.

"-and then Eren stormed off. Can you believe that? After all I do for you, he has the gall to tell me that the way I love you isn't healthy... What concerns me most is how he managed to find out."

"Well, for what it's worth, Levi... I think..." You swallow thickly, the words stuck at the back of your throat as you keep your gaze on the bowl in front of you. "I think I'm starting to understand why you did it."

Levi's eyes widen a fraction, relief softening his features. It was almost enough to make your heart skip a beat. Almost. "You- You do?"

You nod, covering up a smirk with a shy glance in his direction. Levi liked obedience- you'd learned that much- but what he loved even more was sugar coated words.

"It's obvious you love me... Maybe not in the way the next person would, but you take care of me." Your eyes meet his, a small smile tugging at your lips. "And I'm coming around to it. I think... I think I'm slowly starting to reciprocate your affections."

Your hand reaches over, shaking ever so slightly, but just before you place your hand atop his own, you pull away.

"It's true that you've done things to me that'll stay with me for life, and even now they still haunt me... but, it was just because you love me, right? You just wanted me to understand that you know what's best for me." You sniffle, tears burning your eyes, and hastily wipe them away. Levi's face drops as he notices your tears, hurriedly making his way over to you and pulls you into his arms.

"I'm sorry. You know I never liked hurting you... I just- I just wanted you to understand. A-And now that you do, I won't have to do it anymore, right?" You nod against his chest, pulling away slightly.

"Can I... Can I try something Levi?" You bite your lip, eyes trailing to his own. “If it's okay with you… I’d like to try kissing you myself.”

Levi’s eyes light up, eagerly nodding his head. You hesitantly lean forward, pressing your lips to his, the man’s breath catching in his throat. His fingers shakily reach to cup your cheeks, giving you room to place one hand on his chest as the other snakes behind your back and pulls the knife from the hem of your sweatpants. 

With a quick snap of the wrist, you lodge the knife in his jugular, warm blood rushing from the gash as you hastily remove your lips from his and repeat the action twice. You watch as his hands fumble to cover the wound, and as heartbreak and betrayal flash through his eyes. 

“[N-Name-]” He gurgles, stumbling back into the dining table. Crimson spurts down his pristine button-up as he desperately tries to get air in his lungs, hands reaching out to you as he falls to his knees. You’re quick to back away, senses on high-alert.

“You didn’t really think I’d ever come to love you, did you?” You scoff. “After everything you put me through, everything you forced on me, everyone you killed… I’d be a damn idiot to fall in love with you.”

He tears up, the crystalline droplets quick to carve trails down his cheeks, mixing with the blood staining his hands and throat. You watch as his eyes struggle to stay open, a sick sense of glee and pride filling your chest.

“I-I-” Levi gurgles, blood dribbling down his lips. You grimace at the sight. “I really did love you. May-Maybe in our next lives I can…love you properly.”

With that, his body falls to the floor, head bouncing against the wood as a pool of blood begins to form around him.

You gaze at him for a moment. 

“...Maybe.”

[mousey-writes-sometimes]

Deity! Reader x Ghost

AN: I'm literally just writing this bc it's been making my brain go brrrr.

warnings: light mentions of wounds/blood, you, your existence? deity reader, forgotten goddess?

Word count: <500

Running and taking cover in some dingy old cave wasn't Ghost's favored pass time, but neither was being stabbed yet here he was, both stabbed and taking cover in some overgrown cave he'd run into while recovering from the rain of bullets. it was cold, wet, and dark, but it was better than a casket he'd assumed.

after finally finding a stick and fishing out his army funded (?) lighter he ripped a piece of his shirt off and managed to light the damned thing 'Might as well get comfortable' he thought to himself while brushing away from dust on a bolder, seemingly uncovering some ancient runes, appearing to be of a deity of some sort.

while looking around better in the previously dark cave he noticed a ... statue of a sleeping woman? odd, it looked like the person from the pictures, laying the light in an old, almost broken, torch holder, suddenly multiple other torches begin to light all around the now abandoned place of worship, and as he turned around to watch them light he heard a shuffling sound, turning back around in a hurry, gun in his hand the statue was ...gone?

~~~~~~

as you watch the assumed soldier turn to watch YOUR worship torches light you take it as your opportunity to run, running through long overgrown vines that grew to protect your temple, own a long, crumbling, hallway, and into a throne room, he had seen where you ran, he saw where you'd been laid to rest as people forgotten your name, you'd only hoped he wouldn't follow you as you run through what was once a beautiful temple and past the thrown you once sat in answering the towns peoples prayers in (T/N), what had happened to your beautiful town? you couldn't even hear the river that ran through the other end of the cove you called home!

~~~~~~

Ghost had seen someone run through what he assumed to be a wall but turned out to be a bunch of vines and decided to give chase leaving footprints in the dust-covered ground, something he failed to notice was that the person he was chasing didn't seem to leave any trace at all, too busy chasing where he'd seen them tuck tail and run.

Usually, ghost would be able to keep up, but Ghost was injured and still bleeding, stopping and leaning against a wall to catch his breath the chase stops, and he slides down the wall, sitting on the floor heaving in pain and exhaustion, you stop too, turning back and seeing the weakened and bleeding man is no threat to you, at least not in his current condition.

as you walk to him kneeling down to look at his wound he flinches away, unable to get far because of the wall he is against...

TBC

AN 2: prolly will edit/rewrite and add onto this eventually lol, Tell me about any mistakes/untagged warnings!!

MASTERLIST

!!!I do NOT consent to my work being plagiarized, translated, or posted elsewhere without my knowledge or permission!!

[hermesserpent-stuff]

Do you think Kraven would ever show back up in the future to cause trouble, like Peter is in Ock's lab for some reason and Kraven just randomly shows up for whatever reason and he smells the over powering scent of Spider-man and traces it to Peter? How do you think that would go down?

lol if kraven showed back up at this point he'd prolly get stabbed by everyone.

In all honestly, Jeremiah is gonna prolly hunt him down after the whole tony thing is resolved and then just fight him and win.

Jeremiah=1 kraven=0 and then kraven either gets a new obsession, gives up, or Jeremiah just unalives him. lol.

I like the idea of him and Jeremiah having this great big off-screen feud. have for a long time.

[fizzing-imagines]

Stranger Things Tattoo + Piercing Headcanons | Steve, Billy, Eddie, Jonathan

Because I got my arm stabbed for 6 hours straight

Steve

I don't think he would really think about getting a tattoo?? At least not by himself. BUT if he is whipped, he will 100% get one of those "King & Queen" tattoos with his partner 💀 Suprisingly, he sat like a rock even though most would think he'd whine

As for piercings, I don't really think he'd get any. Body mods in general aren't really his thing

Billy

Based on the fact that he already has a skull tattoo, I'd see him as someone who would prolly get a full-sleeve with just skulls. He, too, sat like a rock even though he was dying on the inside

And for piercings, I just KNOW he got one nipple pierced 😭 But just one bc those hurt like a bitch and he couldn't bear doing the other one. We know he has his ears pierced, and I think he'd probably get a flat, a conch or an industrial. Plus silver jewlery only, no rhinestones

Bonus Points: He doesn't follow the aftercare instruction at ALL

Eddie

He already has some and would 100% get more, but at the cheapest fucking tattoo shop he can find 😭 So these are what I thought he'd probably get, based on what he already has

First one is the Metallica logo, for obvious reasons. But I think he'd get it bigger and on his forearm. The pentathlon, probably on his chest or upper leg and the skull would probably go between his shoulder blades but IMAGINE THAT AS A TRAMP STAMP 😭😭🤌 Also, I think he'd get a small D20 tattooed on his arm, but I couldn't find a pic that I liked. Also, I just KNOW he was squirmy and whined so much.

And for piercings, he'd get a few. A lip ring, a few ear piercings like a helix or a tragus and an eyebrow piercing. All with black jewlery

Jonathan

I actually struggled with this one, but then I got a cute idea that would fit him. He's not someone to have tattoos in visible places, so he'd get Will's birthday in roman letters on his ribs

As for piercings, he was already struggling with the rib tattoo so he never stepped foot into a tattoo or piercing shop ever again.

[bylightofdawn]

Beyond Evil Episode 10

OKAY this show is definitely trying to take Obi-Wan's crown for /infinite sadness.

Lee Dong-sik/Infinite Sadness is officially my Beyond Evil sadclown OTP.

Shin Ha-kyun's acting in this show is just...wow I hope he won some version of a Korean emmy or something for his part in this show because it is just phenomenal.

One thing I've noticed is just the amount of times they let Dong-sik cry. For a guy in a media franchise that is just pretty unheard of, at least from a Western audience's POV. We are so embroiled in toxic masculinity and the idea that men can't cry because that equates to weakness is just a pathetic and depressing part of our media culture.

I want to say we are doing better as a society in normalizing letting men express their emotions and actually do more than shed that one lonely tear whenever there is a punchy emotional scene but considering how low that bar is, it's not very hard to cross.

Meanwhile, you have Lee Dong-sik breaking down into tears multiple times over the course of this show for VERY VALID AND UNDERSTANDABLE REASONS and there's no implication of weakness or he's less of a man for doing so. I'll fully admit that my ignorance of Korean culture and East Asian cultures, in general, is pretty lacking so I don't know if that's the norm. From my limited exposure, it's definitely not. Or at least I don't recall seeing a male character who expressed himself as much as Lee Dong-sik does.

Of course, the fact everyone labels him that lunatic etc and LBR he definitely has his feral and unhinged moments so there's prolly some element of truth to that. Maybe he gets a pass for it because of that?

Ugh the fucking ending of the episode. The chief dying and Dong-sik just breaking down next to him. Fuck Han Ju-won practically in tears as well just fucking stab me in the heart and end my suffering already.

Though the laconic and snarky part of me was all 'Oh there's the random death of someone close to the protagonist I've come to expect from nearly every police/law k-drama I've seen' It always seems like they love to kill off the beloved older mentor figure or someone else who holds a similar station in the protagonists lives.

I knew someone was going to die. Pffft. Pretty sure I called that one from episode one.

I think next episode is going to be spicy AF and am looking forward to Lee Dong-sik reacting to the double whammy that his sister wasn't killed by Kang Jin-muk and her killer is most likely out there and he literally just lost prolly the closest thing he has to a father, a mentor and a protector. Cause Sang-bae was definitely holding the wolves at bay when it comes to him and without him being there to shield Lee Dong-sik it's gonna get very spicy.

I'm also interested to see where the fuck they are going with Park Jeong-je's apparent mental breakdown that my boy seems to be going through. Something is up with him and his random affinity for deer and drawing them. He did say he'd killed a deer, surely he didn't like fucking completely snap, kill Yu-yeon right? And like completely just repress that shit?

Surely the show wouldn't go THAT EVIL. I mean, they did hint she got like run over so him accidentally hitting her, freaking out and going coo-coo for cocoa puffs would just be the worst.

[technoacidraveasgore]

i couldnt respond right away bc i was busy, but also bc holy fuck i have so much to say abt sunny in particular (this might be related to him being an extremely rare example of a video game protagonist i can fully relate to and also being one of my favorite charas in general, but yeah)

what baffles me most abt fanon sunny is the sheer amt of mischaracterization he goes through, especially since a good chunk of his headspace isnt that hard to read symbolism-wise (fun fact, this is why the headspace segments became some of my favorite bits because both the Sunny and Omori routes have so much to tell you about him and his friends if you know where to look and how to snip the fat from the meat)

What I find especially striking is just how much of Headspace is littered with things Sunny subconsciously associates with his friends-from the obvious, like breaking open watermelons as treasure chests (Aubrey loves watermelons) to the less open, like the smoothies (Sunny even remembers Basil's disliked and favorite flavors) to the more ambiguous, like the entirety of Sweetheart's castle and how it relates to Sunny's definition of "home"-and Sweetheart's Castle is carpeted in tons and tons and tons of little reminders of his loved ones, down to the fact that Sunny remembers full detailed instructions on how to bake a strawberry cake down to the letter. The secret club segments could even be Sunny subconsciously remembering Hero has a bit of a rebellious side (prolly from Mari) and going "hey, Basil, remember that time Hero and Mari snuck us into a New Years' party and we got to try "fruit juice" ;) and then Hero beat the shit out of a guy while drunk" but that last one could be a stretch lmao

(side note, this is also why I get confused when people characterize him as a bad cook, since Sunny seems to have much more of a passion for food and cooking than even Hero does if his Headspace is anything to go by. It also says mountains that Sunny hates tofu and it's the most useless item healing wise-and yet, he memorized the fine details of tofu, has a tofu cookbook, his best friend likes tofu, you can trade tofu for better items in a certain area... there's a reason he does microwave steak, and it's because he loathes his own existence and probably even does it as self-punishment subconsciously.)

This is also mirrored in how his Black Space is shown. People commonly use that as proof that "oh, he actually hates Basil lol" but also seem to forget that it's where Sunny's worst fears and inner truths go to rot. Not only does Basil die because he almost blurts out the truth, the Neighbor's Area also shows what Sunny is scared of most if the truth comes out-not just brutalization, but Basil getting thrown to the wolves when he leaves. He knows full well what he'd be doing to Basil if he told the truth right as he's moving, and he's terrified of it. Even right after Basil's stabbed his eye out in the real world, he dreams of Basil welcoming him home and giving him a big hug. He and Aubrey are full of love and empathy for their friends and loved ones, even through their colossal mountains of fuck ups, and all the crushing pain and guilt Sunny's felt for years is laid bare in Black Space 1 and 2.

Hell, the scratched out Truth photos scream how Sunny was feeling in that moment. Horrified, disgusted, depressed, repressed, repress, repress... repress... repress. Sunny couldn't even live with himself for what he did and holed himself up for four years, left everyone else who needed him, and stayed there until Kel came knocking and (in the Sunny route at least) saved him from a lifetime of lonely insanity and cravings for oblivion. The game is centered around how this broken autistic kid who felt like he couldn't found himself and where home is in the recesses of his sickly mind. While nothing outright says he's ND or a hyperempath, he's heavily coded to be and I love that he's a good person with actual flaws and issues. He's allowed to be fucked up and feel fucked up. And he's not a baby, either. He's childish, but he's highly intelligent and well read with a whimsical and sardonic sense of humor, not a babybrain like ND people get characterized or a sociopath like some have come to calling him.

And then there's the people who do infantilize him and treat him like an innocent baby who can do no wrong with that Evil Basil Boy, which... boy oh boy I could go on a rant about why that's stupid and also damaging to autistic people, but I think I'd be here all day if I kept going LMAO

TL;DR sunny is best character and this is the last response ill be giving on this post

"we need more morally complex mentally ill characters" yall couldnt even handle basil

[despairforme]

He nodded along. He'd learned sometimes that was the best way to go when it came to this 'lockerroom talk' stuff. He had known from the moment he'd reached puberty that he'd been different from the other boys in that respect. Whereas they couldn't stop talking about the girls that were 'developing early' and about what kind of cool shit they'd found on the internet porn-wise, Ikkaku just hadn't cared. He'd always thought it was because he was so focused on his MMA career, but then, when he'd blown out his shoulder and that was out the window.. He supposed he'd never changed his mind. Sex was just.. There.

Still, he knew Nnoitra was right, in a way. Most men felt like they needed it. And going a year without when you actually wanted to have sex..? Oof.. He kind of understood, he supposed. Especially because Nnoitra said he hadn't gone out to get laid in the first place. He sucked his teeth "Yikes.. Why she been holdin' out on ya?" He questioned. He realized that this was probably more than they'd ever talked about Nnoitra's relationship. And where Yumi was concerned.. Before { and after } Ikkaku had been stabbed, Nnoitra had been very clear about not wanting to hear about that.

But then something occurred to him, and Ikkaku's mouth was running before he could properly think about it. "Well, if ya need a place ta crash. My boyfriend's outta the country. Prolly will be for a long while, so. I got the space if ya want." Besides Yumi he'd never lived with anyone else.. He liked having space to himself. But if he could temporarily help out his friend... Why not..?

     He honestly was expecting more than just a ' yikes '. A year without sex was pretty much unthinkable for most guys. Especially since that was the WHOLE POINT of having a girl in the first place. Nnoitra raised an eyebrow, briefly, but was distracted by Ikkaku's question. WHY. Yeah, that's what HE would like to fucking know. This was not the time and place to start analyzing his relationship though. Chances were doing that would just make him depressed as fuck again, and seeing as he for fucking once was feeling kind of good, he didn't want to risk it. So he just shrugged the other's question away. It was probably fine for Ikkaku to not get an answer, seeing as he knew perfectly well that Nnoitra didn't like talking about relationships. Be that his own or other people's.

     It was unexpected, to say the least, when Ikkaku invited him to crash at his place. Nnoitra knew he was not the best roommate, and so he was surprised that ANYONE would willingly share their living space with him. It sounded like Ikkaku was ALMOST in a similar situation to himself, if his boyfriend was out of the country. For a long while. If Ikkaku had known about Nnoitra’s sexuality, him suggesting that he should crash at his place, considering both their circumstances, would’ve been REAL telling. Should he take him up on his offer? He wasn’t really in any RUSH to get out of the apartment, but at the same time, maybe it would be good to sleep somewhere else at least? 

     ❝ Ya know, that ain’t a bad idea. Ya sure ya want me as yer roommate though? ❞ He grinned, as if to say that he was a lot of trouble. This was true. Nnoitra had his pros and cons for sure. The cons were that he would eat ALL the food in the fridge, or anywhere else in the house. The pros? Well... He’d have to think about that one. 

[ask-dr-yagen]

Have you ever had to do blood tests on anyone (including saniwa) or required blood for experiments? I would have volunteered to stab and/or be stabbed but I guess my guys back in my citadel would freak out, especially Hasebe xD he'd probably be afraid of the many times I've donated blood for my school experiments but my yagen would've gotten excited to get my blood because I'll prolly be the only one willing to give some haha~ I'm pretty weird but if it helps, it helps \o/

Mutsunokami is my normal patient when I need to draw blood. I also draw from myself and sometimes my brothers. Other volunteers are few and far between. Taishou once asked if I’d like to draw blood from her too but I declined. I feel strange about harming my master in even that small way. After all, I earned my name for refusing to hurt my previous master even though he wished it. And yes, I’m sure Hasebe would have something to say about it if I went near her with a needle. I’m sure your Yagen appreciates your willingness though, especially since so few toudan have the stomach to have their blood drawn. It’s surprising how squeamish some of these sword warriors actually are…

[feral-bird-enjoyer]

I have strong opinions

TLDR: I think Akechi and Akira would make a good pair of screamo vocalists with Akira on clean vocals and Akechi doing rough vocals or a mixture

I think Akira could do clean vocals pretty well considering his aptitude for picking up new skills; Akechi could prolly also sing (he's a tv personality, god knows what kind of skills he's taught himself to remain as popular as he was); plus that cover done by their VAs of 'You're Nothing Without Me' is amazing

but the idea of Goro Akechi, detective prince, doing SCREAMO ROUGH VOCALS -especially with absurd lyrics, Jon Mess-style- is hilarious

people would not expect that he'd do screaming and ENJOY doing it, it'd be even funnier if he took on a more Black Mask-like stage persona to contrast the rest of the Phantom Thieves who are just grooving

(Plus screamo something you can very much teach yourself!! I can do rough vocals despite not having any natural aptitude)

The PTs would be up there, playing, and Joker's singing about some heartbreak or something, and Crow probably sings along with Joker for most of the song, and then Crow just starts screaming the most nonsensical lyrics, completely changing his posture and demeanor, while Joker's still doing his bit all cool

Only issue would be making sure Akechi doesn't inadvertently damage his voice because I get the feeling he would hide something like that to the best of his ability if his pride or competitiveness came into play

(I know that a lot of screamo rough lyrics are similar to the clean ones but I've now got the idea of them doing Dance Gavin Dance lyrics stuck in my head and it is awful/amazing)

(Three Wishes would fit PERFECTLY because the clean vocals are kinda a flirty song and the rough vocals literally go MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS YEAH over and over again lmao)

do you think akira could do screamo or would that be akechi

[bylightofdawn]

I made a secret New Years resolution with myself that I would try and write something, even if it's only a few sentences a day in hopes that I could get back into the swing of fanfic writing. So I've been writing maybe a couple hundred words a day and I've made some progress into my next Jaster/Plo Koon fic so have a snippet in celebration of the fact I am slowly writing again.

For context, this is after Jango gets stabbed and is rushed to the Halls of Healing for emergency treatment. Myles was the one who accompanied him into the Temple and they are met by a young Mace Windu who is very cute, and extremely kind, if Myles wasn't worrying about Jango potentially dying on his watch, he'd probably be flirting up a storm with said very collected and mysteriously aloof Jedi.

This scene happens after Myles finishes cleaning up and features Mij who is one of the Cuy'val Dar from the Rep Comm novels because it's my spaghetti AU and I make canon my bitch.

Also? There are so many M-names in this scene it is the most awkward read ever but I'm kinda committed to the bit at this point, yanno?

As always, this is super rough and prolly has mistakes cause it's now 1am.

Their Jedi escort was standing there in an easy resting stance which somehow looked relaxed despite his ramrod straight posture.

His eyes widened almost imperceptibly in poorly masked surprise when he looked at Myles’s still bared face and the Mandalorian chalked it up to surprise at seeing a <I>Mando’ade</I> without his ever-present helmet on. 

How often did a Jedi get to see a Mandalorian who didn’t feel the need to be fully armored up head to toe in beskar’gam?. Myles met the Jedi’s eyes and fought back a smile.

“Apparently, our compatriots are going to be delayed. Would you mind showing us to the waiting room? Mace, was it?” 

“I would be happy to. This way if you please.” He indicated the hallway Jaster and Plo had disappeared down. Mij grunted in thanks and headed that way, not overly keen to wait for their Jedi guide but then again, the man probably had a better chance of navigating this maze of a medical wing better than all of them. 

“I’m Myles, by the way. I don’t think it’s on the other’s mind at the moment, but we really appreciate your people treating Jango.” He said as he offered his hand to the Jedi. 

After a moment’s hesitation, the other man reached out and grasped his in a firm shake. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Myles. I wish it were under better circumstances, but your friend is in the best of hands.”

“We won’t tell Mij that.” Myles mock-whispered conspiratorially and a brief flicker of amusement that flit across the Jedi’s face rewarded him.  

“I take if he is your healer?” 

“Medic, we don’t really have those fancy force healing powers but he’s the best medic I think I’ve ever met.” Myles admitted freely. “Though don’t tell him I said that. I don’t want to inflate his ego.”

“You two do know I can hear you right?” Mij snarked and shot them an exasperated look over his shoulder. 

“I forgot you have ears like a Rodian.”

“I can still hear you, shabuir.” The medic asked crankily. 

Myles just made a rude gesture at Mij before he clapped Mace on the shoulder with easy camaraderie. “He’s a little crabby because we’ve kept him up past his bed time.” He said with a smarmy smirk in Mij’s direction. 

If he’d been trying to get a rise out of the Jedi by invading his personal space, Mace didn’t seem to notice or bat an eyelash at him. Of course, considering he’d been crechmates with the likes of Kit Fisto and Eath Koth, he was used to such easy affection with his friends even if he wasn’t nearly effusive in his affections. 

“Copaani mirshmure'cye, vod?” Mij demanded and then perhaps as a concession to the fact Mace probably did not know what he was saying, he swapped back to galactic basic. “I’m not that old.”

“In body perhaps but in spirit, you’re practically ancient.” 

“Only because I’m forced to deal with di'kutla nerfherders like yourself, Myles.” 

“You know you love me, Mij.” 

“Like one loves a gnarly case of genital warts.” 

There was the barely there huff of air from the Jedi when his composure broke and something akin to a snort of laughter broke loose. In better circumstances, Myles might have counted that as a victory and would have felt cheered immensely but as it stood, all the banter in the world couldn’t completely shake the worry from his mind, especially not when they reached the sterile-looking waiting area. 

They’d decorated it in a soothingly neutral color palette and the seating definitely looked a cut above just about every other waiting room he’d spent time in. Gods knew he’d spent some time in some truly sketchy hospitals in his time but it still held the cold sterility all medical wards seemed to exude and all levity left his mind. 

Mij somehow looked even more dour as he pinned their Jedi escort with a look. 

“Is there a place I could observe the surgery? I’m assuming that’s where the Mand’alor and Master Koon are?” 

“That is typically reserved for next of kin but since you are the Mand’alor’s personal medic, I’m sure the healers would not object to an exception being made.” 

“Huh, ‘personal medic to the Mand’alor’? It looks like my star is rising, Myles. I have a new title and everything.” 

“Just don’t let it go to your head, vod” 

“Will you be staying here?” Mace asked him and Myles’s face went tight with dread at the prospect of watching someone he regarded as a kid brother under the knife. He was as comfortable with violence as any other True Mandalorian but I did not want to see Jango’s insides on display.

“No, I’m okay here.” 

“Is there anything I can get you while you wait? Some refreshments perhaps?” Mace hadn’t been assigned to wait on the Mandalorians hand and the misery that was bleeding into the Force around the other man was impossible to ignore as was the slightly lost look in his eyes so he himself moved to kindness and stepped beyond the simple bounds of his assignment. 

“I’m good, I don’t think I could stomach anything right now.” 

“As you wish.” He made a mental note to check in on the Mandalorian before he returned to his quarters for the night on the off chance he needed something or needed some company. No one should have to be alone in a waiting room without the support of friends or family.

“I will show you to the observation room.” With that, Mace showed the medic to the door that would lead deeper into the surgical ward and they left Myles cooling his heels in the waiting room.

It was going to be a long night.

[babymagi]

Alright, doing this with original characters

This took forever XD

Amir

Hakusang

Selkhikhi

Senshi

Tiamat

San Wenyu

Jasmine

Andromeda

Cassian

Calliope

1. What if 7 and 4 kissed?

Jasmine and Senshi aren't in the same timeline so technically she's WAY too old for him, wouldn't stop him from flirting with her, kisses are reserved for paying customers though

2. Where would 2 bury a treasure?

Hakusang doesn't bury things, he'd probably keep it in the compartment under his older brother's wheelchair because there's no way in hell someone is going to think to look there

3. 6 and 10 get into a fight. Who resorts to violence first?

Calliope would probably get really pissy but doesn't resort to violence because she's above that, San Wenyu's just like 'who's child is this?'

4. 1 is kidnapped and their kidnapper demands a ransom of 1,000 dollars from 5. Do they help 1?

Taimat is the one who kidnapped Amir in the first place, if it wasn't her then she'd only pay it because she wants him for bad reasons

5. Who is stronger? 6 or 8?

Andromeda, they're a whole star capable of swallowing the earth, San Wenyu's a fisherman, what's he gonna do? XD

6. Who is 3's secret love?

Not really a secret since they end up dating, but Selkhikhi's girlfriend is another one of my OCs, Hatshe

7. Can 8 juggle?

No, they think the skill is admirable, but don't have the capabilities to perform such actions themself

8. 1 is asked on a date by their favorite actor/actress. Do they accept the date?

Amir's not allowed to date

9. Game Night! What do 5, 6 and 10 end up playing? Who’s most likely to win?

Tiamat, she cheats though, only magician in the group so go figure

10. A Meteor is about to hit the planet, can 7, 2, and 10 stop it?

Oh no we're fucked, unless Hakusang kicking it out of orbit counts XD

11. Is 9 single?

Cassian is single as of right now

12.  9 and 3 are trapped in a zombie-infested theme park.  How do they escape?

Cassian's like zero help and Selkhikhi just busts her way through them lol

13. Does 1 wish this TAG was over?

Amir got confused by it a long time ago

14. 8 and 7 are dancing to the waltz. 2 comes in and sees them dancing. 2's reaction?

Jasmine doesn't know how to waltz lmao so her and Andromeda probably aren't being very successful if Andromeda even was in a normal-sized human form at this point, Hakusang is confuse

15. 9 and 5 go to the movies. What movie do they see?

Tiamat likes psychological horror, Cassian wouldn't even want to go anywhere without his twin, also he is pretty sure he'd get hate crimed or kidnapped by Tiamat if he went anywhere alone with her

16. You are attacked by 1, 3, and 9. Can you survive?

Nope nkjesbgjksebgkjsr that's two djinn wielders and a household member that are going to kick my ASS

17. What is 4's favorite color?

Red, orange, and pinks, like sunrises

18. Can 7 sing?

Yes, but Jasmine doesn't often, she prefers dancing because it's more sexy

19. A vampire bites 2. 4 sees this, what do they do?

Senshi: Uh oh ;3 looks like I have to suck the vampire venom out so you don't turn into one ;33

Hakusang: Actually just stab me now

20. All the characters get into a battle royale.

Andromeda sweeps the floor with everyone unless they're in butterfly form, in which case Amir wins, Selkhikhi comes close second

hey @durtlesloveformagi you'd prolly have fun with this :))

Character meme!

So a few months ago, TheOtaku had it’s 22 year reunion. While reminiscing and going through my old posts there, I found this meme and thought it’d be fun to do with my current fandom

1. Fill up the blanks with your favorite characters or OCs / Put their names by the numbers, too. 2. Answer the questions, or try to. 3. TAG 3 people. NOW  

1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10)

1. What if 7 and 4 kissed?

2. Where would 2 bury a treasure?

3. 6 and 10 get into a fight. Who resorts to violence first?

4. 1 is kidnapped and their kidnapper demands a ransom of 1,000 dollars from 5. Do they help 1?

5. Who is stronger? 6 or 8?

6. Who is 3's secret love?

7. Can 8 juggle?

8. 1 is asked on a date by their favorite actor/actress. Do they accept the date?

(Just realized there was no 9, so filling that in) 9. Game Night! What do 5, 6 and 10 end up playing? Who’s most likely to win?

10. A Meteor is about to hit the planet, can 7, 2, and 10 stop it?

11. Is 9 single?

12.  9 and 3 are trapped in a zombie-infested theme park.  How do they escape?

13. Does 1 wish this TAG was over?

14. 8 and 7 are dancing to the waltz. 2 comes in and sees them dancing. 2's reaction?

15. 9 and 5 go to the movies. What movie do they see?

16. You are attacked by 1, 3, and 9. Can you survive?

17. What is 4's favorite color?

18. Can 7 sing?

19. A vampire bites 2. 4 sees this, what do they do?

20. All the characters get into a battle royale.