#He’s cynical and sarcastic in both the comics and the movie

[kurtmustdie]

He’s fucking hilarious and I’m tired of the internet pretending he’s not

[firekitten830]

Some thoughts about Miguel, the comics, and what it could mean for Beyond the Spiderverse

This post has spoilers in it! It also contains mentions of suicide. And it's also VERY long. Consider yourself warned.

Comic vs Movie Comparison

Going to be starting this off with comparing movie Miguel and comic Miguel. And to clarify before we get into it, I don’t think deviation from the comics is a bad thing, and I love both versions. Also worth mentioning that at the time of writing this I've only read the original series from 1992, Dark Genesis, and a couple of the temporal crossover stories (which I'm considering non-canon for the sake of this discussion). I might make another post like this once I've finished all of them.

Starting off with story deviation there's... not a lot for me to really say here, since we don’t know much about movie Miguel’s backstory aside from the part where he accidentally caused a universe to collapse, so there’s not a lot to point out in terms of story deviation yet. However his personality and behavior is a little bit different. He’s more serious in the movie. Now Miguel has always been more serious than most other versions of Spiderman, but in the comics he’s still humorous. His humor just tends to be more sarcastic and cynical (think a bit like Deadpool) rather than the quips and wisecracks you usually get with Spiderman. He’s pessimistic and actually pretty mean, especially when not in his Spiderman alter ego. I'll admit I do miss his sarcasm in retrospect, but at the same time it wouldn't really suit the role the movie has set him up to play. Plus his characterization in the movie is still super good, and I like it a lot.

Miguel in the comics does tend to be a lot less bouncy and acrobatic than most other spidermen, and that definitely shows in the movie too. But the movie did something I personally love, and pushed that aspect further, and made him almost animalistic rather than just a Spiderman that fights a bit more close quarters. He’s intimidating, he’s brutal, every move has weight and power that you can feel through the animation. They kept the inertia of his movements in mind, something they do for all of the characters but is especially noticeable and fun with characters like Miguel who have a lot of force behind their movements (This is also why I love how The Prowler is animated so much). One of my highest praises for these movies is that every character has their own unique style, and Miguel’s fits him very well and stays true to the comics.

And the last point I'm going to talk about before jumping in to speculation is the powers. There's not a lot for me to say here either in regards to comparison, since we've not really gotten a chance to see how movie Miguel's powers work, but I still do want to address it because if it's the same as in the comics, then he's actually pretty unique! Makes sense, considering he didn't get them from the standard radioactive spider-bite (more on that later). I am sorry to say but he is (probably) not a vampire (I say probably because it's entirely possible he is in the movie. But assuming it's the same as the comics, he isn't actually a vampire, just looks like one, since judging by the fact that Blade is... around... vampires are real in his world). Do keep drawing him as a vampire tho its hot.

Anyway. He does have those fangs in the comics! He also has venom! As in the paralytic toxin spiders use to catch prey, not the character. Another thing that sets him apart is that he... doesn't seem to have a spider-sense? At all? He has super enhanced normal senses, but not that sort of extra sense that pretty much every other spiderman seems to have. I don't know if this is true in the movie but it would be sort of neat. He also isn't sticky! Instead he has those talons to hook onto surfaces, those are a part of him, not the suit. Unless they changed it in the movie which is the one and only change i think would be super lame. But since they gave him the fangs I doubt it. There is one noteworthy difference between his powers in the comic and the movie, and it's that in the movie his webs seem to be technology based, maybe some form of energy or hard light technology, while in the comics he has spinnerets in his arms. It could also be a mix of both, or that could just be how his natural webs look. Either way I'm curious why that change was made, even if it was as simple as just to fit the futuristic aesthetic.

Miguel's Backstory

Onto the next section! I'm going to do my best to give a brief recap of Miguel's backstory, for anyone who doesn't know it. For the sake of simplicity I'm going to assume that his backstory in the movie is more or less the same as in the original comics, up to the part where he goes to another universe.

In the year 2099, most major cities are controlled by the interests of oppressive mega-corporations. Nueva York, controlled by Alchemax and their corporate police, is literally divided between the Uptown and the Downtown, the uptown being the shining, sparkling futuristic city where all of the rich and important people live, while the downtown is the crumbling remains of New York that have been built over, where all of those deemed worthless by Alchemax are confined to.

Miguel O'Hara is the head of the genetics project in Alchemax's R&D branch, leading their efforts regarding gene splicing and genetic manipulation. Miguel is a snarky, standoffish man, who’s just generally a jerk to pretty much everyone. He has a soft spot for Dana, his fiance, Lyla, his apartment's AI companion, and Gabriel, his younger brother, and... that's about it. Despite his rather high position in the company, Miguel has a strong distaste for Alchemax and its unethical scientific practices, and is determined to delay human genetics testing until he's sure it's 100% safe. After his reservations are ignored by the higher ups, and hasty human testing leads to the death of a man under Miguel's unwilling hand, he decides to quit working for the company. However, he's a valuable asset. Tyler Stone, the head of Alchemax, laces a drink for Miguel with Rapture, a hallucinogenic drug that alters genetic structure to cause almost guaranteed addiction and withdrawal so severe it can be deadly. Coincidentally, Rapture is only legally produced and distributed by Alchemax.

Rather than let himself be manipulated, Miguel decided to use his own genetic modification equipment to attempt to reverse the alterations made by Rapture. During the procedure, Miguel's supervisor, resentful of Miguel's fast rise through the ranks and his constant disrespect for his superiors, sabotaged the process in an attempt to kill him. Instead he ended up activating the gene splicing program, and spliced Miguel and a spider together. Why was a spider present at all, you may ask? The final result of this genetic manipulation project was super-soldiers, and Miguel had decided to take inspiration from a certain hero back in the Heroic Age. Spider based enhancements seemed to work pretty well back then, why not give it another go?

After emerging from the process very much not dead, but no longer human, Miguel has to navigate new powers, and the new dangers that come with the mantle he's accidentally taken. It's around this point when Miguel starts to have thoughts of taking his own life, and pretty consistently continues to throughout the story.

I'm not giving a full recap, this story is already long and I don't remember specifics for most things. Miguel faces a myriad of villains, future versions of classic spiderman villains and new foes as well. He also takes over Alchemax after usurping Tyler Stone, which I'll touch on again later. But throughout all of it a consistent theme for him is loss. Over the course of the original comics, he loses almost everyone he has any kind of connection with, in one way or another.

He has a falling out with his fiance, Dana, and before he can try to reconnect, she gets caught in the crossfire during a fight with Venom and dies in his arms. He finally starts to repair his broken relationship with his mother, only for her to be shot during a raid on Alchemax after she started working as a secretary. Gabriel eventually becomes so overcome with resentment for Miguel that he takes up the mantle of Green Goblin, and attempts to ruin his life and also kill him. Xina, an old flame he was rekindling his relationship with, left him again without so much as a goodbye. The only one he has left to turn to for any sort of familiarity or comfort is Lyla, and even she tried to kill him once. He cuts himself off from everyone who tries to make a connection with him again, because he's convinced that being close to him leads to people hating him, dying, or both. Assuming Miguel's backstory is the same up to this point, he's already at the lowest he's ever been. And probably stays there until he and Lyla develop the technology to travel between universes. Here's where the speculation kicks in.

Miguel finds another universe like his own. Another universe with another Miguel O'hara, except this one never became Spider-man. And this one never lost all of the same people that the other did. He and Dana got married, they have a daughter. They're happy. Not only does he have proof that it isn't just being close to him that gets people hurt, he has an opportunity. Because this other Miguel is dead, and this other Miguel isn't Spider-man. He could take his place and be free of his own unhappiness, his own burdens, and save the inhabitants of this parallel world the pain of losing him. And for a brief time he's happy, he doesn't have to be Spider-man, he has a family and a life that isn't full of danger and loss. And then he loses it all again, and is left once again with nothing but the feeling that it is his fault.

Further speculation, I think that's probably why he's so caught up with "canon"; it means that the losses he faced were inevitable. It makes him feel just a little bit better, a little less guilty. Yes, he's trying to protect other universes from possibly meeting the same fate as the one he caused to collapse, but he's also trying to make himself feel better in the process, even if he doesn't realize it.

Theories

This bit is going to be mostly unstructured, since I don't have any huge theories, just certain smaller points or plot elements I think are going to happen.

Miguel’s ties to Alchemax are going to come up, and they’re going to be important.

Alchemax is a company that originated in the 2099 comics. There has to be a reason they chose it for the company in Into the Spiderverse, because there’s dozens of other evil companies they could’ve chosen. But they chose Alchemax, the company Miguel has ties to, and then they set him up as an antagonist. It's going to be brought up, and it's going to be important.

Miguel and Miles will relate to each other

I say this because they're both very much outliers. They aren't their world's original Spider-man, they both have different powers and backstories than the other Spider-men. I feel like this is going to be called out, both as a way to call out Miguel's hypocrisy, and as a way for Miles to relate to him and find common ground.

Miguel was injecting himself with a gene stabilizer, or with something Rapture related

I know I'm not the first person to suggest the first part of this point. It makes sense--we know that the mutations from the spider DNA didn't all happen immediately. I also can't imagine that having your genome that dramatically altered is very good for you. I haven't seen anyone suggest the second part, but I think that's probably because it's not seeming very likely at this point. I don't want to rule out the possibility, though.

Peter B is going to be important to resolving the storyline with Miguel/Have a heart to heart with him

During the movie I got the sense that Peter B is trying to befriend Miguel, or at least to get him to open up a bit more. I think this is because he sees himself in Miguel. Yes, they're very different, but they're similar in ways that matter. Peter B looks at Miguel and he sees someone who's given up; on his principles, on his role, on his own life. Peter B has never been openly suicidal like Miguel, but before he met Miles he was still very much in the same spot. He had still given up on his ideals, on being Spider-man, and he made the choice to stay and destroy the collider not for a noble reason, but because he didn't care if he died. I think that Peter has recognized that same mentality in Miguel, and is trying to reach out to pull him back from that edge, like Miles did for him. I think the two of them have a lot of potential for some heartfelt interaction, and I hope I'm picking up on something that's actually there and intentional.

So that's pretty much it! This post is a lot more ramble-y and unstructured than I wanted it to be, but it was really just a way for me to get my thoughts out.

[burningexeter]

The Wildwood Chronicles

I've talked about this for what seems like to me, to death about this so I want to close the book on this and finally sum it all up because I finally have everything to say it about it in just one place.

It's now a full-on passion project that I really want to do, create and make a reality and that's The Wildwood Chronicles, an epic and ambitious adult-animated series that is a grand crossover between over hundreds — and I mean HUNDREDS — of media (movies, TV shows, anime, comics, video games) that retroactively establishes them all in the same shared universe all along.

Here is all the information, all of the notes/trivia/details, everything that I can tell anyone on this without spoiling anything about it because I'm keeping this shit under lock and key pretty much:

• The ambition with this project is anything but small. How I'd best describe it is a mix of Avengers: Infinity War (the last great MCU movie with only two exceptions afterwards) and Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino's greatest achievement since 1994) with the influences being not just those two but also Godzilla Minus One, Grand Theft Auto V, Red Dead Redemption 2, Gore Verbinski's Pirates Of The Caribbean Trilogy and the original Die Hard for many aspects of the series whether it'd the size, scope, scale, balance of characters, action, emotional moments etc.

• As for who's the lead and who'll voice him, the answer is Reese Miller both voiced by and modeled directly after Walton Goggins. When he's introduced, he's a down-on-his-luck, alcoholic, cynical, sarcastic and narcissistic schmuck with a criminal past who after an incident that caused his downfall had no choice but to crawl back to his family that he abandoned years ago and now has to deal with his ex-wife wanting him to do just one good thing in his life now and that's be there for his children. Only thing is it's on a certain day where his daughter is his that the main event that kickstarts everything happens and he's left in and later wakes from a months-long coma while his daughter, for a while, has an unknown fate. It's from then on that he becomes a man who is consumed with guilt and regret and is haunted by his past actions and the dirtbag he was with him wanting to and even becoming a better person in this world that's now falling apart. Unfortunately, all of the events that he's put through ultimately turn him into a tragic anti-hero who wants to see this world burn to the fucking ground and without giving any spoilers away, deals the final blow that seals this fictional universe's fate. Or does it? I seriously can't imagine anyone else in this role but Walton and Walton only.

• As for how it will be a crossover, not only will it be a sequel years later, months later, weeks later depending on which media but also it's a strong balance of differentiations. Some like the three here will be major players and have major roles....

.... while others will be surprise supporting roles or even cameo appearances from supporting characters like these three here....

.... or are objects and items that serve as easter eggs that imply or show they're in the same world as well like these beautiful bastards here.

• As for the actual show itself, it will be a 65 episode limited series event with a clear and more than definitive beginning, middle and end. I want the whole show to feel like one long 65 episode feature film while at the same time giving each episode their own stand-out distinctions enough to make them stand on their own. Top of all that, there will be no commercial breaks and every episode will be a full two-hours long with them being treated as events you can't miss. What makes this more special is that there's only one network I have in mind for this series and that's FX.

• As an added bonus, the show will be incredibly and viscerally violent and even brutal with its gore. Hundreds and hundreds of people, creatures, superheroes, supervillains, zombies etc. will be killed in thousands of different and horrific ways with Rambo (2008), Blade II, aforementioned Inglourious Basterds, The Night Comes For Us and Hard Boiled serving as the main influences for the violence but it's not shock for the sake of shock, it's to show that the world is now somehow more dangerous and visceral than it's ever been before and to show that absolutely no one no matter who they are are safe.

• As for who are the directors, I want there to be several distinct and interesting filmmakers to helm episodes but the main one who'll direct the most episodes for he's the main director of the series will easily be Gore Verbinski.

[rogue-durin-16]

MATCHUP FOR:

Anon

She/her, INFP, Hufflepuff. 5'2, curvy, but not overweight (yet, lol), blonde hair, blue-green eyes. My most defining traits are sarcasm, sense of humor and love of all animals. I'm a sarcastic little shit, but I'm never mean about it. Making people laugh makes me light up like a Christmas tree on the inside. Humor is how I cope with pretty much everything. Like I said I love animals and I have 2 cats, 2 dogs, 3 rats and a bunny. If I could afford it and had the space and the time I'd have so many more. 🤗Pet peeves, people who don't return their shopping carts, people who don't use turn signals. People who lack empathy or are rude make me want to go feral. Flaws, I can be passive aggressive. I don't like conflict so the things I bottle up come out that way. Also am too cynical and don't trust most people easily. Once I do though, I'm your ride or die. Lol. I talk (and type) too much sometimes. I've always been very insecure about my appearance and have never considered myself attractive. I have pretty bad anxiety, but if one of my friends is doing worse I usually go into mom friend override and I can do the thing then. I definitely want to take care of people I care about but feel pretty helpless to do so a lot of times. 😞 I love going to the beach (I live in Florida and grew up on the south Jersey shore), watching movies (love MCU and LotR) and tv, music (mostly pop punk/emo, but I love 80s, 90s, 40s, 50s, indie) and baseball. My favorite shows are Brooklyn 99, The Good Place, Pushing Daisies and Buffy. Oh and when I'm not broke AF I collect Marvel comic books. I have 4 boxes of them rn. I'm mostly a homebody but when I actually get to travel I love exploring new places. I love going to museums too. Mostly art, but I love learning about history and science so I like those types of museums too.

From Band Of Brothers I Ship You With:

George Luz

Ship dynamic:

Chaotic Duo™

Quote:

«‌There is no light at the end of the tunnel, so it's a good thing we brought matches.»

You need someone to keep up with that energy you got going on, and that someone is George Luz.

The heart eyes he gives you the moment you start talking... lord, have mercy. He gets teased constantly.

He won't tell anyone but he loves that your shorter than him. He also finds you extremely hot and that he does tell people. Honestly, the whole teasing situation is entirely his fault.

You two probably start off as acquittances, given that you don't trust people easily and George doesn't want to pressure you into a friendship or more that you don't want.

You do love to have a laugh with him, which doesn't automatically bring you two closer but it definitely makes you find a seemingly superficial common ground.

Self deprecating jokes are your thing and that's fineee but maybe you two should seek help, just sayin'.

He's gonna talk over movies to annoy you, but literally just smack him and it'll shut him up, sending him into a fit of giggles.

Okay, here's how it's gonna go, because Luz is... Well, he's Luz, he'll apologize later, first let me explain.

You're going to be having one of those moments y'all anxiety ridden helpers have— the 'my mind cannot take this' moment, and you're going to spiral. Now, I don't know if it's Luz taking you aside or you walking away because You Need A Moment and Luz follows you.

Point is, it's just the two of you and he's going to try to cheer up his best girl; and he's gonna start saying all the good things about you (which is going to take a while).

He's gonna get extra hyped because you're amazing and no matter in which state you are at the moment, definitely not a good one though, he's going to leap forward and kiss you.

I mean, bet that brings you out of the mental breakdown but was that really the moment?

And that's when he apologizes. He's dying to kiss you again though, this time properly, and he tells himself he's going to think it through.

The moment comes when you're both cracking up because you two have this little competition of who can make the other laugh harder and you're a little too close, and he gets overly excited again.

Before he knows what's happening, boom, his lips are on yours. He pulls away and tries to apologize again but I mean, it was a good kiss and you're not having a meltdown so... ;)

He's kinda shocked when you kiss him but oh, boy does he enjoy it.

You tease him about it afterwards, like the sarcastic little shit you are. He doesn't get upset, of course; on the contrary, he returns the teasing.

Though it's gonna take more to break him than to break you, he's eventually gonna reach his tipping point too, and your mom instincts are going to kick in.

Let me tell you, he's never felt more grateful or at home than when you take care of him.

George likes to take you to the beach, because he gets to play with you in the water. Playing meaning he annoys you until you give him the same shit back.

You're gonna have a problem with the passive agressive part, because he does bottle things up as much as you do. You two have to work on that; maybe together it'll be easier.

He buys you comics for like half the price. God knows where this boy get the things from but we're not gonna question it.

You two are chaos personified. You know when two people fuel each other to the point where it looks like they're on drugs? That's the two of you.

[aion-rsa]

The Suicide Squad Review: The Most James Gunn Superhero Movie Ever

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It feels like we’ve been here before. A C-list DC Comics villain has been brought to life by a major Hollywood talent—Idris Elba as Bloodsport in this case—only to be saddled in a seemingly generic scene with the character’s adolescent daughter. When we saw a variation of this cliché in the first Suicide Squad movie, it stood in for barebones character development; a familiar story beat which allowed Will Smith’s Deadshot to prove he really just wants to make his little girl proud. But that was then, and this is now. This is James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad.

Hence when Elba’s incarcerated baddie takes a look at his daughter through prison plexiglass, and she reveals that she too has gotten pinched and is now awaiting a court date for nicking a smartwatch, he has only one question: Why did she get caught for swiping something so stupid? “A year in juvie will do her good,” he sniffs later. “She’s always been a little ditzy like her mother.”

Welcome to Gunn’s familiar yet wickedly singular take on a valuable piece of Warner Bros. intellectual property. In a sign of the strange times that studio executives find themselves in, Gunn’s The Suicide Squad is a hard tonal reset on a film that grossed nearly $750 million five years ago. To be clear, it’s also a sequel to David Ayer’s 2016 movie despite what talent has said to the press in recent months, with passing references to both the previous picture as well as Margot Robbie’s solo stint as Harley Quinn in Birds of Prey. And yet, even with its setting in the DC Extended Universe, The Suicide Squad is on a planet created by, ruled over, and ultimately tormented through the prism of Gunn’s singular sensibility. Not since Super has the filmmaker’s vision been so unchecked or subversive, making for a whole movie that’s a lot like Gunn’s humor: dark, crude, and paradoxically heartfelt.

That Warner Bros. would surrender one of their biggest franchises to that kind of voice is a minor miracle.

The setup of Gunn’s vision for The Suicide Squad is narratively simple enough. Viola Davis’ Amanda Waller is still pursuing the seriously awful idea of taking convicted supervillains and putting bombs in their necks before ordering them to go save the world or die trying. But unlike the chaotic mishmash from five years ago, Gunn doesn’t want his antiheroes to look cool while doing it… at least most of the time.

Waller’s victims still include familiar faces like Robbie’s bubbly Harley Quinn and point man Col. Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman). There’s also a slew of new meat for the grinder, chief among them being Elba’s stoic Bloodsport (a hitman who can turn any object into a weapon); John Cena’s Peacemaker (Captain America if he watched Fox News all day); Daniela Melchior’s Ratcatcher II (a young woman who can control rats); and David Dastmalchian’s Polka-Dot Man (a sad sack who can control… polka-dots?). Sylvester Stallone also voices a walking talking Great White Shark, which is as adorable as it sounds.

The team is sent to the fictional island nation of Corto Maltese to destroy evidence of something called “Project Starfish.” Madness and a whole lot of killing ensues.

At its essence, Gunn’s story is what the Suicide Squad concept has always leant itself toward: a men and women on a mission adventure. Indeed, Gunn homages the narrative structure of numerous “infiltrate and escape” ‘60s blockbusters, with The Dirty Dozen (1967) and Where Eagles Dare (1968) being the biggest touchstones. One could even squint and see Elba’s cynic with a heart of gold in Bloodsport and Cena’s patriotic-to-a-fault Peacemaker as dueling riffs on the same Lee Marvin archetype.

But for all those narrative allusions, Gunn’s not going for something particularly high-minded or even middle brow. He’s happy to crawl through as much mud and gross bits as the shark, and to have his pen gleefully unshackled from the constraints of Disney. More so than his Guardians of the Galaxy flicks, The Suicide Squad feels apiece with his early work, including for indie shock horror studio, Troma Entertainment, and perhaps more aptly his first Hollywood movie, the gruesomely mean-spirited Slither. Like that comedy-chiller about invasive aliens and body horror, there’s something faintly perverse and even juvenile to the set pieces in The Suicide Squad, especially near the beginning.

I suspect many audiences will love how hard The Suicide Squad goes in the opening 15 minutes or so, albeit more than a few will find it abrasive, gratuitous, and a tad immature. Which it is. Fortunately, Gunn is able to thread the needle between his excesses, balancing the primal joy of watching a Great White Man-Shark rip a dude in half with the emotional authenticity he’s long been underrated for. It’s what made his Guardians movies the strangely most sarcastic yet sincere films in the Marvel oeuvre, and it’s what keeps The Suicide Squad from being just an exercise in style.

While Robbie has fine-tuned Harley to perfection in this third outing—thereby raising the question of how much further she can take this character barring a possible Poison Ivy movie—and Elba makes for a rock solid charismatic anchor, it is relative unknowns Melchior and Dastmalchian who shine brightest. The actors are tellingly saddled with the most pitiful sounding superpowers ever committed to screen—rat mind control and the ability to throw colorful polka-dots—but Gunn’s affinity for outcasts and losers elevates them to the folks we most want to spend time with. There’s real pathos here, and in Melchior’s case, grace in this otherwise loopy cacophony. Ratcatcher II begins as an amusing riff on “millennial jokes” in a superhero movie while Polka-Dot Man is aptly nicknamed “Norman Bates,” and yet both nearly walk away with the whole movie.

Of course, with as much zaniness as there is in this flick (I haven’t even gotten to the giant starfish!), it’s hard for any single element to really overshadow the others for long. The movie is so overstuffed with ideas and gags, it’s downright overwhelming at times. For some that will be a detriment, but that Gunn is able to keep all the balls in the air, and manages to make most of these misfits engaging, and even endearing, is its greatest asset.

For too long, superhero movies have grown toothless, innocuous, and sandblasted clean of any strong sense of identity. Many are fine in a blandly inoffensive way that allows them to vanish from memory quicker than they entered. With its weirdness and warm-heartedness, The Suicide Squad is distinctly the outcome of a singular filmmaker given free rein over one of these fiscal calendar linchpins. I’m not sure if that makes for good business, but it makes for mighty fine cinema, polka-dots and all.

The Suicide Squad opens in theaters and on HBO Max on Friday, Aug. 6.

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[aesthetic-uwus]

Movies/tvshow recommendations

1. Scott pilgrim (2010)

As bass guitarist for a garage‑rock band, Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) has never had trouble getting a girlfriend; usually, the problem is getting rid of them. As Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) skates into his heart

2. Growing op (2008)

A teenager tries to live a normal life while his parents run an operation growing weed out of their home

3. 10 things I hate about you (1999)

Kat Stratford (Julia Stiles) is beautiful, smart and quite abrasive to most of her fellow teens, meaning that she doesn't attract many boys. Unfortunately for her younger sister, Bianca (Larisa Oleynik), house rules say that she can't date until Kat has a boyfriend

4. Juno (2007)

When precocious teen Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) becomes pregnant, she chooses a failed rock star and his wife (Jennifer Garner) to adopt her unborn child. Complications occur

5. Easy A (2010)

Prompted by her popular best friend to spill details of her boring weekend, Olive (Emma Stone), a clean‑cut teen, decides to spice things up by telling a little lie about losing her virginity. When the high‑school busybody (Amanda Bynes) overhears the conversation...

6. Warehouse 13 (2009-2014)

Plot. The series follows U.S. Secret Service Agents Myka Bering (Joanne Kelly) and Pete Lattimer (Eddie McClintock) when they are assigned to the secretive Warehouse 13 for supernatural artifacts. It is located in a barren landscape in South Dakota, and they initially regard the assignment as punishment.

7. ferris buellers day off (1986)

Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) has an uncanny skill at cutting classes and getting away with it. Intending to make one last duck‑out before graduation, Ferris calls in sick, "borrows" a Ferrari, and embarks on a one‑day journey through the streets of Chicago.

8. Perks of being a wallflower (2012)

Socially awkward teen Charlie (Logan Lerman) is a wallflower, always watching life from the sidelines, until two charismatic students become his mentors. Free‑spirited Sam (Emma Watson) and her stepbrother Patrick (Ezra Miller) while overcoming the problem from his past

9. Sex education (2019-?)

Socially awkward high school student Otis may not have much experience in the lovemaking department, but he gets good guidance on the topic in his personal sex ed course -- living with mom Jean, who is a sex therapist. Being surrounded by manuals, videos and tediously open conversations about sex

10. Anne with an E (2017-?)

In the late 19th century, brother and sister Matthew and Marilla Cuthbert, both past their prime, decide to take on an orphan boy to help out around their ancestral farm of Green Gables, on the outskirts of the town of Avonlea, on Prince Edward Island.

11. Santa Clarita diet (2017-2019)

Joel and Sheila Hammond are everyday suburban real estate agents in Santa Clarita, California. The couple face a series of obstacles when Sheila undergoes a metamorphosis, becomes undead and starts craving human flesh.

12. Atypical (2017-?)

This heartfelt comedy follows Sam, a teenager on the autism spectrum, who has decided he is ready for romance. In order to start dating -- and hopefully find love -- Sam will need to be more independent, which also sends his mother (Jennifer Jason Leigh) on her own life-changing path.

13. That 70s show (1998-2006)

A comedy revolving around a group of teenage friends, their mishaps, and their coming of age, set in 1970s Wisconsin. Eric Forman is a typical high school student growing up in Wisconsin in 1976 with his family and his friends. ... The head of the group is Eric Forman who lives under the authority of parents Red and Kitty.

14. Tuca and Bertie (2019)

Premise. Tuca & Bertie follows "the friendship between two 30-year-old bird-women who live in the same apartment building, Tuca, a cocky, care-free toucan, and Bertie, an anxious, daydreaming songbird."

15. The end of the fucking world (2017-2019?)

James (Alex Lawther), a 17-year-old who believes himself to be a psychopath, and Alyssa (Jessica Barden), a rebellious classmate who sees in James a chance to escape from her tumultuous home life. ... 

16 Derry girls (2018-?)

Derry Girls is a Northern Irish sitcom created by Lisa McGee. Set in 1990s Derry, Northern Ireland the show follows five teens as they live through political conflict while going through the challenges of being teenagers.

17. Grease (1978)

Plot. In the summer of 1958, local boy Danny Zuko and vacationing Sandy Olsson meet at the beach and fall in love. When the summer comes to an end, Sandy—who is going back to Australia—frets that they may never meet again, but Danny tells her that their love is "only the beginning"

18. Love simon (2018)

Everyone deserves a great love story, but for 17‑year‑old Simon Spier, it's a little more complicated. He hasn't told his family or friends that he's gay, and he doesn't know the identity of the anonymous classmate that he's fallen for online. Resolving both issues proves hilarious, terrifying

19. Legally blond (2001)

Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) has it all. She wants nothing more than to be Mrs. Warner Huntington III. But there is one thing stopping him (Matthew Davis) from proposing: She is too blond. Elle rallies all of her resources and gets into Harvard, determined to win

20. Legally blonde 2 (2003)

Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) journeys to Washington, D.C., to have her say about animal rights, but is ignored by every politician she encounters and quickly learns that the White House can be even tougher to navigate than the Ivy League

21. shameless us (2011-?)

Shameless is the story of a family of six kids and their drunk and selfish father. The eldest daughter Fiona has to raise the rest of the family on her own. They need to steal food and steal money to live while their father takes everything and offers nothing. Meet the fabulously dysfunctional Gallagher family.

22. Dead like me (2003)

Georgia Lass is aloof and emotionally distant from her family and shies away from her life. After dropping out of college, she takes a temp job through Happy Time Temporary Services. During her lunch break on her first day, she is hit and killed by a toilet seat falling from the deorbiting Mir space station.

23. Daria (1997-2002)

A smart and cynical girl goes through teenage life as a proud outsider in a world of mainly idiotic adolescents and condescending adults. Daria Morgendorffer is an intelligent, unpopular, and quite sarcastic teenager tolerating life among the idiots at Lawndale High.

24. IT (2017)

Seven young outcasts in Derry, Maine, are about to face their worst nightmare ‑‑ an ancient, shape‑shifting evil that emerges from the sewer every 27 years to prey on the town's children. Banding together over the course of one horrifying summer

25. IT chapter 2 (2019)

Defeated by members of the Losers' Club, the evil clown Pennywise returns 27 years later to terrorize the town of Derry, Maine, once again. Now adults, the childhood friends have long since gone their separate ways. But then people start disappearing....

26. Stranger things (2016-?)

A young boy, Will Byers, goes missing near a top-secret government laboratory. On the same night, a strange young girl appears at a diner in the town. ... A love letter to the '80s classics that captivated a generation, 'Stranger things' is set in 1983 Indiana, where a young boy vanishes into thin air.

27. Ginger snaps (2000)

The story of two outcast sisters, Ginger (Katharine Isabelle) and Brigitte (Emily Perkins), in the mindless suburban town of Bailey Downs. On the night of Ginger's first period, she is savagely attacked by a wild creature. Ginger's wounds miraculously heal 

28. Arrietty (2010)

Arrietty, a tiny teenager, lives with her parents in the recesses of a suburban home, unbeknown to the homeowner and housekeeper. Like others of her kind, Arrietty remains hidden from her human hosts, but occasionally ventures forth 

29. F is for family (2015-?)

Set in the 1970s, this animated raunchy comedy is inspired by the life of stand-up comic Bill Burr, who is a co-creator and executive producer of the series. Burr also voices the character of Frank Murphy, a short-tempered veteran who lives in the suburbs with his wife, Sue (Laura Dern) and their three children

[anteroom-of-death]

Life, For Dummies p10

a/n: too long, i am now brain dead. time for death. but enjoy this crappy cracked inside look at my ongoing mental health crisis. fluff, lemon, intrigue and gift giving ensue!

You sat at the table, too excited to drink most of your coffee, only a few frazzled sips here and there. The looming threat of a surprise had you on the edge of your seat. He was very good at hiding them from you, save for a few hints here and there to help you deduce what it was, then praising you for how clever you were. 

But this one? No hints! Nothing you could think of to even suggest one besides the faint mention last night…

It was making you even more manic than he was. And he was dancing around the console room, singing a song, fiddling with wires and occasionally booping you on the nose as he attached devices to the TARDIS’s mainframe. 

“Oh, my pet, you’re really gonna love this!” He’d occasionally jeer at you. You were toiling away in your mind, wracking it for all it was worth.

You had a few more sips and decided to take a mental chill pill. You inhaled and held your breath, then released it. You once took a class on DBT during your year of longing and were trying to remember the steps to a healthy breathing pattern. 

You shook yourself sane again. He was winding you up on purpose most likely.

You eventually questioned, “So, what are you going to do? Go back to the night of my 16th birthday and save me from a truly horrible fashion incident?” 

He paused at that and inhaled, “I could spend a million years studying humans and you still say the darndest things!” He laughed then went back to his mania.

You spoke quietly into your coffee, “Yeah, and Time Lords are really such easy reads..:”

You got up and shuffled back to your room, going for your medicine chest and taking a few painkillers as a precaution. With his dancing across the console and all the thinking that you were doing, you felt like it was a justified choice. 

You felt indescribably thankful he let you have a big room and a separate bathroom from him, even a little balcony of sorts with a simulation of whatever surroundings you wanted to fall asleep with if you wanted. It allowed you a solitary sanctuary for just you, your thoughts and your own little things. He rarely came in, only on invite. You were beyond thankful. 

Kept you sane and reminded you that you were a human, and human was good. 

Even when he would rail against humans in general, it was hard to keep centered, what with you earning a universal reputation and your dual infamy as a couple. You, in the eyes of many weren’t as weak as your humble heritage suggested. Some people even thought you were a Time Lady. 

You, in your humble human eyes, thought that was hilarious.

If they ever knew that they were under fear of a human? 

Not that the growing sadist in you didn’t want to reveal that one time and see the wheels of brains turn and explode.

You stretched and got back to the console room and sat down, he was starting to flip switches. 

“Oh, I got a good feeling this will work!” He pet the underside of your chin and kissed your lips gently. You pressed it more and kissed him back. 

You went to take your usual position as co-pilot but he swotted your hands away and tsked. “No, no. Special treat. Pets aren’t in need to know.” You rolled your eyes as you felt the TARDIS lurch violently and shudder to a stop.

“Off you pop. Outside.” He shooed you to the door and shrugged on his jacket. 

You walked out into a near-blinding white void. If it weren’t for the obvious bottom you were walking on, you would’ve been highly concerned you were going to fall for an eternity and a day. 

It also felt hauntingly room temperature. A little too even. 

You turned to him, the open door, his outfit, him and you being the only colors in this massive nothingness. “What is this place?” You looked at him and were not sure whether or not to be put out or confused. 

“Soon...give it time…” He purred. 

You turned around and put your face in your hands to hide it. A slight groan slid out of your throat. 

You decided to follow his instructions and went around mildly exploring to see what this all was. Maybe it was some gift and he was having it be hidden somewhere within all this white?

Maybe this was some obscure Time Lord fetish?

In your mind, this was going on forever. 

“Is it time yet?” You whined.

He was breathing gently, whispering eyes closed, suddenly the eyes snapped open, “Oh, I feel it soon, some are not mentally cooperating here.” He smirked like an inside joke happened to befall him, and only him.

You blew out air from your lips and let it bubble over your lips. You were getting very bored. You blinked a few times pointedly in his general direction and sighed melodramatically and twirled at your hair.

You began to rub at the bridge of your nose in frustration and were about ready to march your ass back in there and shut this whole thing down. Then the hair on the back of your neck began to prickle and you felt the air pressure shift and drop suddenly. As if you were in a plane that made a hard landing or something. Your ears certainly were popping and crackling like a bowl of wet Rice Krispies.

A gentle, yet persistent ringing started in your ears as what sounded like a door slamming open. You yelped and legged it to the TARDIS door before the Master comically caught your arm and turned you around.

“I’m arriving!” He pointed out as a man who resembled that Prime Minister that killed the US president then was shot by his wife but older and hotter strode out, eyes both fish dead and suspicious and alight, with your screwdriver in his hand.

He was dressed in all black save for a sliver of red on an inner lapel. 

The Master shot some sideways finger guns at him and smiled, “Welcome me!” He then raised his hands in a very “let’s do lunch!” Fashion. “The other may be coming soon! Pet! Come meet my past!” He pointed at himself then made a flourish with his arm towards the taller man

“Your past?” The man glared at the Master.

“Don’t tell me this is what I become…” He crossed his arms cynically. 

“Meet the Master!” He proudly showed you off, holding a possessive hand on your shoulder and hunching down as he spun you around and forward. “I’ve got to drag the best of me kicking and screaming here and make it so I don’t remember this at all.” He smiled and flopped his hands out and up.

You offered a cautious hand out to the man before you. 

He took it, but looked highly annoyed, especially after Your Master started speaking in Gallifreyan and even begged a bit.

“Has anyone ever told you that you look like that crazy Prime Minister?” You asked after a long, uncomfortable silence.

“Oh, you’re very observant!” He replied, bitingly sarcastic. “Does he keep you around for your excellent inductive reasoning skills?” He kept looking at Your Master, like he was so disappointed and pissed off.

He went over and you grabbed at his arm and instructed, “Don’t interrupt him.” You smarted. 

He looked at you and went to his screwdriver, and you went to yours. Like a bad western movie- high noon happening in the white void.

“That’s mine!” He growled and went for it.

You stuck your tongue out at him, “Mine now!” 

This Master was hot, but an annoyance. None of this Master’s tenderness nor wit.

He glowered at you and you rolled your eyes as you saw two waltz out of other doors in the void. A tall man with green snake-eyes and a floor length Matrix coat and a small dandy sort in a smart old fashioned suit. 

Your Master stopped and snapped back to reality. 

“Welcome!” He cooed. 

“This is my pet...and once Missy and another one of me come…’ He shrugged and blushed and smiled, his fingers twiddling on the backs of his hands, he looked half gone mentally, but you had to admit, the disheveled look really did suit him best. It was so slutty and his blush suited his favorite purple and gold tones so well. 

“I have a special request!” He smiled and gaped his mouth.

You were scraping the palms of your hands with your index fingers trying to get your attention back to assess these new Masters before you. 

Though, you though, You were finally going to meet the shopkeeper killer hat lady herself! That was a fun thought.

The tall one was an American and he just waved and did a half nod. 

The dandy strutted towards you with such confidence. “A radiant beauty..” He brusquely whispered, kissing your hand like a prince from a Disney film. “I am, as you know, the Master.” He traced an elegantly gloved hand down the side of your face, “Tell me, what luck did happen to me, to find such a beautiful travel companion.”

You half scrunched your face, half beamed, as this one was trying to charm the pants off of you. “Honestly, just kind of happened. He saw me once and decided to steal me.” You laughed and felt yourself curtsy. 

Your Master came over and chuckled, “Did you just curtsy?” 

You looked at him and made a jumble of indignant noises at him. He rolled his eyes and turned you around, a man dressed head to toe in velvet with tails and a neat beard and glowing blue eyes came forth and looked like he hit the jackpot. 

“A room filled with me? My my, aren’t I a lucky bastard.” He licked his lips and raised his eyebrows. 

“Hello, sailors and soldiers.” A sharp Scottish accent trilled out as a short woman dressed like Evil Mary Poppins undulated out, “And human?” She asked. “Oohhh…” She leered and sat on an umbrella she had, kicking her leg out.

“Has my male egos gotten big enough for an orgy?” She cheesed.

Your Master clapped his hands and tried to get order, “I’m right. This is an orgy.” 

“My beautiful, talented, dashing and clever little girl here has always wanted to be in an orgy and also wanted to be in a gang bang.”

You slammed your palms to your forehead and shrieked, “Some thoughts! Are meant! To be! Private?” Hitting a new octave with every breath.

He smiled, “Pet, it’s only me who knows.” Half assuring you, half mocking, “Well, now me...and me. But it’s only technically two people.” 

The beardy Prime Minister one balked, “You assembled us all together to please some sack of ape flesh?”

“Hey, in an indeterminate amount of, G-d knows how much time, this sack of ape flesh? Your main squeeze.” You called him out and curled into your Master’s side. 

“Now, I don’t wanna share, and I want her dreams to come true, so I’ve been assessing her crushes she’s had over the years, from Hans Gruber to the gal who played Lilith in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, and I’ve gotten the best of us together.” He started to justify, with hand gestures.

“So, since she’s been really good lately, and she’s excelled in her Gallifreyan lessons and her TARDIS flying skills are way better than the Doctor…’ He paused, as if he were Jerry Seinfeld, doing a punchline. 

He raised his arms. 

“Have at her, just return her in one piece.”

He leaned down and whispered into your ear, “Happy birthday, little pet…”

You turned to him, and your mind raced. Was it your birthday? You’d lost track of all remnants of time. But if your birthday was today, what an interesting gift.

There was a mixed assent from the assembled audience. 

Missy was already taking her clothes off singing some outdated bubblegum pop song. 

The swarthy one went and slightly dragged Your Master to the side while the Prime Minister one lounged playing with his laser screwdriver. The rest of the Masters were comparing and contrasting a very different screwdriver. 

Missy, with all the energy of a drunk preschooler was already naked and prancing around cheering, “Mommies got some moves to show you all!”

You were having a moment or two, a semi-nervous creak escaping your lips.

“But, I cannot take a partner I do not yet know!” You heard the swarthy one counsel to Your Master. “And presumably will forget once this is over...no paradoxes or rips in time to create, I presume?” 

Yours leaned over gently and placed his hands on his knees. “Trust me, this one’s worth it. And duh, I’m not a moron.” He assured his younger self.

“Go strike up a conversation- she’s loads of fun!” 

You were feeling a bit overwhelmed.

But oddly ballsy. 

“Okay,” you nervously demanded answers, “Before we begin…” You glared at the Prime Minister pointedly, “Does anyone have an STDs? Can Time Lords get the clap?”   

“Why did you think I have one?” 

“Harry Saxon fucked. A lot of your ex interns told tales after you got nerfed by your dang wife. To the Press.” You straightened up and took a bold step forward. The ghost of who you were outside this room creeping into your core. If it was your birthday, the birthday girl couldn’t be spoken down to in any way, shape or form. A fire built in your chest.

“Unless you’re scared of disappointing me? What is your current body lacking?” You made a hooking motion and crinkled your nose at him.

“Give me a reason I shouldn’t kill you.”

You rolled your eyes but suddenly Missy popped onto your shoulder, pressing her naked body into the fabric of your clothing. “Come on, let’s have fun! If no one else is going to ruin you, I will!” She blew a raspberry in your ear before yanking you down and pantsing you on the spot. 

“Nice bottom!” She drew on in her brusque Scottish accent before pinching your ass hard.

She pulled you down on top of her and wrestled you down from behind before pinning you down with her legs. 

She smiled and hunkered down before biting your neck and licking the blood she drew off your neck. 

“Girls night!” She screamed as she somehow managed to produce a strap on that was both hyper realistic, yet comically large out of the pockets of her nearby overcoat. “Stay put, poppet, Mommy’s going to fuck you much harder than Sad-Eyes over there can!”

You looked over, noticing that Velvet Daddy Master was stroking his cock watching you and Missy tangle on the floor and Your Master had taken to arguing with the Silver Prime Minister Master. Your Master hit him on the top of the head. (Quite a feat considering the three inches that the victim had on Your Master.) The Swarthy Gentleman Master sat watching the thing, a twinkling of mischief in his eye as he lazily lit a cigar and observed. Obviously weighing pros and cons. You could respect someone who did that. 

“Watch it kiddies!” Missy said whipping her strap around before entering you without any regard for other foreplay besides wrestling and biting. 

You screamed a little. 

“Oh! You scream! Fascinating!” She flicked a switch on the side of the harness and it began to vibrate as she shivered. You assumed it was pleasuring her as she thrust into you. 

The Velvet one made his way over and pet your lips gently with a velvet gloved hand. He had his bare hand on his pale, long cock. 

“You have such elegant lips! I think I’ll fuck your face to feel them...” He muttered, almost making it seem like a question. 

He gently stroked your lips and gently slid a few gloved fingers in, mesmerizing you gently, taking precautions with you. He seemed like a good fellow, like someone who’d get the door for you just to see your ass walk in. Filthy but genteel.

He stroked your hair before he pardoned himself into you, gently thrusting in and out of your mouth while Missy made like a runaway jackhammer. 

So many emotions took over you, and sensations. 

The American Master sat behind Missy and stroked your legs and sucked on your toes. You had to stifle a laugh so as to not bite the cock in your mouth. If anyone was to have a toe worship fetish, it had to be the American. 

Your Master walked over and asked you if you were having fun and felt okay, you gave a quick thumbs up.

He laughed and sat next to you, crossed legged. 

“So, after this, I figured we would go to Taco Bell and or a Nandos. I have another gift to give you.” He told you, as if you were leg up on the side of the counter and he was making coffee, plotting the day. 

The nonchalance was oddly off-putting…

You felt guilty for that thought, here he was ripping time and space apart, probably committing several war crimes and doing ten other unnatural things and you were focused on his tone of voice. 

He hummed lightly as he stroked your skin lovingly. 

The American Master bent Missy over and asked her to move along and made her sit somewhat on his lap, while he entered your ass with no prep and started massaging and tweaking at Missy’s nipples, which truly kicked her and him into a speed competition. You were mildly worried and aroused and so confused at once, but all your faith that Your Master would monitor this all.

You felt him in your mind, Assuring you that the moment you were no longer having fun, that he’d shove all them away with all he had and anything that it would take, and that he’d spend the rest of the day taking care of you. 

Despite generally being into this, you nearly cried. He really did care about you.

The Silver one was sulking, but eying up the scene with a primal curiosity. Not that you had much of a view of anything at that moment, but with your heightened awareness and all the nerves in your body rapid firing, sending many messages, you were picking up on everything.

It was a kind of heaven though. You were being used and pleasured and you had to admit, the Master was hot in all these bodies. Your Master had given you an attractive smorgasboard of himself. You just had to focus on being a hole and enjoying this experience. 

The Swarthy Master came over and still had his cigar and twirling it. 

“Elder me, my dear. May I take over massaging. I cannot partake currently in experiencing this vision carnally, but I can pleasure her!” He produced a small vial of a fragrant oil and massaged your breasts and abdomen and hips. He found the tight knots in your shoulders and lightly moved his other self as he straddled you and lightly sat on you, working on your shoulders and you felt him release a warmth into your brain. It wasn’t like Your Master’s mind probing, but it was similar enough that you let him in and he pleasured you mentally. You felt two Masters in your mind and it was highly irregular and yet, totally reconcilable. Your Master was guiding you, protecting you and keeping check on you, this one was giving you pleasure and a tender warm, tingling relaxation. 

You gave in to all the sensations and breathed in and out of your nose. You had literally nothing to do, as everyone seemed to be self sufficient here. 

You liked feeling useful.

So you just let the two Master’s presences take over you.

Soon enough though, you saw the Silver one come over, completely stark naked and start shoving versions of himself over in an untamed fashion and fully erect. 

“I’m going to cum in your whore!” He spit at your Master, who was tenderly holding your hand and stroking your thumb. “And you lot are just going to have to continue elsewhere.” He ordered. “Then I’m leaving!” 

Your Master was about ready to tell him off, but you patted him and looked compassionately. “Hey, let him. Then we can continue on without his grumpy aura around.” You smiled then smirked at the two.

He shoved Missy out of you and plunged in, bracing his full weight over you and thrusting and berating you and your Master, as well as making an alphabetized list of why humans were the lowest species to ever evolve. It was fun but he came and then went. 

Afterwards you all lazily returned to your dogpile, Missy attacked your hair with fake flowers and florist berries she kept dragging out of her coat's pockets. 

They all came, and you came multiple times. 

Missy opted for a girl chat after her orgasms and doing your makeup and hair fancy, “For your date night...keep fresh…” She ordered, smearing you with kisses.

The Swarthy gentleman gave you a few puffs of his cigar and kissed your hand, “My dearest, I was pulled from an important meeting with some Autons, but I regret not taking company with you in this lifetime.” Then kissed you deeply, in a very old Hollywood style then shaking Your Master’s hand, “You take care of her. You need her more than she needs you.”

He rolled his eyes at that and you thought you heard him mutter, ‘Duh.”

One by one the other Masters left after communicating.

Missy was the last, kept trying to convince you to run away for more girlie time and “Mommy’s special fun!”  You laughed and hugged her, assuring her that waiting would be worth it. And more fun for her.

She left after a pouting match with your Master. 

“They’ll forget this ever happened.” You said sadly, returning to the inside of your TARDIS.

“But you won’t.”

You went and got cleaned up, you had already arrived outside of a Taco Bell, and the Master was dressed down in a tee-shirt, a button up, a patterned outback vest and jeans with purple socks.

You ordered your food and sat on the swirling high seats and sipped at your drink.

The Master produced a small box and handed it to you, his big eyes beaming at you.He never looked more beautiful, all filled with himself. You had the best looking one, and he was yours. He smelled the best and every cell of him screamed “Home” and “Yours”.

“Be careful, that canary you ate might ruin your burrito.” You observed. 

Carefully opening the box, you found a diamond on a long silver chain.

“Wow. It’s so beautiful!” You kissed his cheek, “Thank you!”

“It’s a warp star. You crush it and it’ll explode anything that I can’t keep you safe from…” He swallowed down harshly, “Because…” He swallowed again, “Because…” He inhaled sharply and let it out quickly, “I love you.” Then he clammed up and took a big sip, blushing furiously. A tear starting to leak from his eye and more threatening in the other.

You started to cry, “You love me?” You questioned. 

It took a few more side-eye sips and a shaky breath, “Yes. I love you.”

You knew how hard that it was to admit that for anyone, especially him. You hugged him and fastened it to your neck, it dangling beautifully under your collar. 

With a careful whisper, “I love you too…”

“Happy birthday little pet.”

“Thank you, Master. Best one of my life.” She smiled and pulled yourselves together.

You both finished your meal and walked hand in hand to the TARDIS. He bathed you again that night and you joined him in the solarium, you fell asleep shortly after him.

You dreamed a dream of him, your Master. Your One, your Only, yours and no one else's...

[repeatedceesaw]

Teen Wolf

Welcome to a friend / roommate request for Sadie based off Teen Wolf. Ultimately this all just comes down to found family and everyone (or almost everyone) living in the same building being rented to them by the resident 'old man hangs out with young adults' landlord. Most of the characters will have known each other since 18 if not before, but while I've written mostly actual information about the characters, they're definitely more of guidelines in some parts due to the different universe mechanics. I've given three ideas for classes for each character but they're definitely suggestions and make the characters your own.

CONTENT WARNING This request contains references to family death, child abuse, and just generally shitty backstories.

( find part 2 here )

Stiles Stilinski

Open ✖ 22-24 ✖ Hexes & Cursebreaking / potions / alchemy ✖ open

✖ Occupation: Student

✖ Short Bio: Hyperfocused, sarcastic, witty, loyal to his friendships but not the best influence due to his own boredom and curiosity. mother died when he was younger and father has a 24/7 job basically so he raised himself, and maybe an 11 year old with an insatiable and dark curiosity shouldn’t have been left to his own devices. definitely got warned several times for his underage magic experiments but due to his age never really got in real trouble. honestly doesn’t really like most people and once you’re in his friend group and he accepts you, you are his prime priority. unfortunately sometimes his loyalty turns dark, and he’s more than willing to cause harm to those who cause harm to his group. is tempered a lot by the rest of the group but rarely should be left alone with Erica because they have the same sort of feelings about that. there’s a faint rivalry between isaac and stiles since scott adopted isaac into the group and stiles still harbors insecurity and a grudge for how easily isaac got scott’s attention when scott used to be stiles’ best and only friend. huge ex crush on lydia but now they they actually know one another, they are a terrifying duo of puzzle solving and thinking outside the box.

Scott McCall

Open ✖ 22-24 ✖ Cryptozoology / animal magic / combat ✖ open ✖ Occupation: Student / After class job ✖ Short Bio: puppy ™, sees the good in almost everyone but also sees situations as what benefits people the most (if he doesn’t like you, might sell you for a cornchip if it gets someone he likes out of a sticky situation), is way too trusting and cares about almost everyone, thinks with his heart. definitely works outside of class with either kids or animals… or both. the sort of help out afterclass with cryptozoology and then tutor younger students if he knows the subject. lowkey dumb, but is a hard worker. raised by a single mom (and sort of stiles’ dad), he begrudgingly goes along with stiles’ schemes because who else is going to make sure stiles doesn’t go looking for a dead body and gets murdered? exes with allison, bromance with isaac and childhood friends / are they gay with stiles. kira and scott together are pure and great, even if his he still hasn’t gotten over his first love

Lydia Martin

Open ✖ 22-24 ✖ oneiromancy / necromancy / alchemy ✖ open ✖ Occupation: Student / Possibly a TA? ✖ Short Bio: #betterthanyou, brains and beauty, she used to dumb herself down in when she thought popular girls couldn’t be smart but quickly got bored of it and chose to dominate in class. stiles could probably give her a run for her money if he bothered to study at all but best he could do is second place to her first. intends on winning academic awards and wiping the floor with absolutely everyone. entirely possible she’s finished half the courses offered by now, multilingual to the extreme especially in various spell languages and is most likely to create new spells or be doing research into some half forgotten art. struggles a little with her ability but is determined to master it like everything else. best friends with allison and was on and off with jackson in the past. not here for any women vs women bullshit and well beyond the years where she ever thought she needed a man on her arm for status. as much as it’s really not her job to improve and change a man, she knows jackson better than anyone and does go to bat for him occasionally and helps him unlearn all his bullshit posturing, sometimes with understanding and sometimes with tough love.

Allison Argent

Open ✖ 22-24 ✖ combat / healing / folk magic ✖ open ✖ Occupation: Student / Head of Family Business ✖ Short Bio: beautiful smile, dimples, sunshine. is genuinely just a nice person with a pretty big physical training background from her family and was so lovely when they all met. now though, she’s learned more and more of her family’s backstory and cruelty, and the horrors have changed her. Older now, she works hard to be the best leader she can and guide her family to the right path. although her naivety has gone now, she’s still just Good ™ . Callous when she needs to be, she’s worked hard to get through her issues and find her own morals. wants to help people but is more in the middle of stiles and scott’s ideals, more suspicious and careful than scott, but less cynical than stiles. used to date scott and they were pure and in love until she found out her family secrets and pushed him away. dated isaac for a bit and there was always a weird feeling between the three of them, with both loving her and her loving them both. after erica and her buried the hatchet, she’s just happy to have more friends and tries not to get jealous when she sees kira and scott but first loves can be hard to let go even when the timing isn’t right anymore. jackson is definitely an ass, but he’s her swimming partner and an excellent person to talk to when you just want to bitch (specifically about scott or stiles)

Derek Hale

Open ✖ 26-30 ✖ herbology / healing / rural/folk magic ✖ open ✖ Occupation: Local Ghost (completely open, he can even be a student again if you want) ✖ Short Bio: the older friend who missed out on some of his teenage years due to tragedy, it’s a little weird that he’s always hanging around these younger adults. still, he’s mostly harmless and even a little pitiful and soft when you get through his aggressive defence. definitely a major concern when they first met, it was stiles who really dragged him into the group and showed compassion for the shitty things derek went through. historically has had a really shitty relationship with allison’s family but the two of them have worked through most of their issues. lost most of his family when he was a teenager and hasn’t entirely worked through his survivors guilt so although he likes to think he’s the dad of the group, he’s really just the somewhat incompetent older brother who tries his best. erica, boyd, and isaac tend to humor him but other people not so much. he progressed from leather jackets (he, erica, boyd and isaac all had matching ones that they sometimes pull out from retirement) to sweaters. progressed from a camaro to an suv. big literature nerd. with part of the life insurance payout, he bought an old apartment building they all live in and is doing it up, everyone else’s apartment first while his stays untouched.

Erica Reyes

Sadie van der Ven ✖ 22 ✖ illusion magic, scrying, healing ✖ cerise ✖ Occupation: student ✖ Short Bio: part one of the ‘didn’t used to have power and then suddenly came into their own’ squad. was once bullied for her looks and left out of things due to her health. always deeply concerned with proving herself, even if it’s dangerous for her. with an original family who didn’t know how to handle her, she kept pushing herself until she pushed too far. when she eventually had her power glowup, she let it go to her head and wanted to take revenge on those that teased her before. definition of ‘bullied girl glows up, seeks revenge’. big proponent of girls vs girls until she eventually settled and found out that teaming up and having fun was much more satisfying. huge crush on derek but who knew he wasn’t into teenage girls as a grown adult? just wants to feel powerful and uses magic and looks like armor against all her insecurity. big movie and comic nerd with stiles and had a crush on him throughout much of their first meeting before she joined the gang. listens almost exclusively to boyd in terms of being told not to do the thing, but if he’s not around… definitely up for getting into trouble. just insecurity in a pretty cover.

Vernon Boyd

Open ✖ 22-24 ✖ elemental magic, defense, cleromancy ✖ open ✖ Occupation: student ✖ Short Bio: part two of the ‘didn’t used to have power and suddenly came into their own’ squad, boyd is the only one who didn’t become a goshdarn nightmare when he started using magic properly. with how quiet he is, you’d think he wasn’t interested in being friends with anyone, or wanted to be anywhere else. this isn’t true. he loves being around people, he’s just silently judging all of them for bad choices. having spent a lot of his time looking after his younger siblings, he didn’t really have time to hang out after school and eventually ended up just sitting alone at lunch. worked hard after his siblings’ bedtime, he had a job to try bring more money into the family. he’s probably the only one who realises that derek chose him, erica, and isaac because they were lonely and insecure and while he thinks that’s super fucked up, he also realises derek is super fucked up too and gives him a break for it. while he’s not the absolute closest to derek in terms of sharing past trauma over lunch, is definitely derek’s favorite and probably best friend. big brother who keeps people in line but disappears into the shadows when it’s not really needed. big on his found family. you think he’s quiet but he’s just the only one who can control himself when it comes to actually saying the snarky things out loud…. mostly

[diabolik-lovers-box]

Matchup please^ω^

Mbti:- INFP-T

Horoscope:- Aries (but i am not like an aries)

Appearance:- 5'4 feet; short,straight and soft black hair with bangs; brown eyes, a lil curvy (than an average 16 year old), childish or high pitched (anime type) voice. I'm an Asian.

Personality:- I am an introvert and shy, other times cynical or "i don't care" thing. Understanding ,lazy, gets 70-80% marks, good at sketching anime, makes mini comics,do not have any friends (because i don't believe in friendships, maybe i am a psycho), have the talent to suddenly ignore people, gets easily embarrassed or flushtered, i'm little scared of boys, obedient and polite,makes a lot of sarcastic /dark jokes (dirty jokes too but only with girls), i'm quiet and annoyed around boys (but i don't mind fictional boys). And i want to learn Japanese!

Likes: Anime, night, moon, stars, lake, mansions, lolita dresses, browsing the internet (searching about anime, psycopaths, psychology) , thriller and mystery (i like horror movies too though i will be too scared to even go to the bathroom alone afterwards), potato chips, chic or cute dressing style, croissants, daydreaming, and my family (specially my lilttle sister)

Hates: too talkative people, outdoor sports,wearing miniskirts and like that (i actually don't hate them, i just feel super uncomfortable, maybe i have low self- esteem), being interrupt when doing something i like.

Favorite diaboy :- Shuu

Least Fav diaboys :- Tsukinamis

Your Diabolik Lover: Azusa Mukami!

He’s definitely good at making you feel comfortable around him and he’s pretty accepting of the way that you choose to run your relationships with people. He’s good at giving you space but also good at gently getting you out of your shell. 

About Shuu: I didn’t pick Shuu because you’re both introverted and tend to cut people off and the two of you are a bit too similar in some elements of your personality and a bit too different in other parts. 

[erdariel]

So yeah, I know I've read too much X-Men lately. Don't mind me.

But having seen a few of the movies and read a lot of the comics, I gotta say: Wolverine and Cyclops' relationship would be much more interesting if they just didn't get along with each other instead of having some bullshitty love triangle with Jean.

Like, in the movies I've seen it feels like their every interaction (at least outside life-or-death-battle against the bad guys) revolves around the fact that they both like Jean. Which of course causes them to be slightly dicks to each other most of the time.

In the comics it's not quite so explicitly because of Jean, a lot of time they're just snarky in general, but then again Wolverine tends to be slightly sarcastic with everyone so that also makes it less noticeable. And overall there's this feeling that despite the banter, they're close friends and care about each other and wouldn't like to see each other hurt. Whereas in movies it sometimes seems to me much more... actively hostile, the way they act (I mean there's also friendship there in the movies too but there also seems to be a little more hostility, at least in the beginning). But even in the comics, it seems to at least in part stem from the fact that Wolverine has also always liked Jean and Scott wants him to keep his hands off because Jean is Scott's girl. It's just not necessary to bring it up anymore every time Wolverine and Scott are in the same scene.

And honestly, maybe it's just because I dislike love triangles and relationship drama in general. But whatever's the reason, I feel like it would be much more fun and less frustrating if they didn't fight over a girl. It's not like that means they have to get along, either! Sometimes people just don't at first like each other, sometimes people just get on each other's nerves, in real life. That just happens.

Especially because I've gotten the impression that Cyclops is in a way very typical hero. He's the field leader of the X-Men from the very start, and when X-Men is split into two field units, Gold and Blue, he continues as Blue team's leader (while Storm becomes the Gold team leader). He's a good team player, he usually believes in Xavier's dream, in the X-Men's cause, with all his heart. He's strong, and he's usually nice to everyone but bad guys, and he, like most of the X-Men, rarely kills if there's a way to get things done without killing.

Whereas Wolverine, well, everyone knows what Wolverine's like. He's bit of an antihero. He's cynical, grumpy, even rude. He smokes and drinks. He's very much not a team player. It's not the noble cause that originally brings him to join the X-Men in the comics or the movies, but rather the belief in the cause comes slowly over time after he's joined them. He's violent, and with the claws and stuff he's a character that can't really fight in a way that doesn't cause a lot of physical harm or kill, and while he does usually do things the way X-Men do things (when he's with the X-Men, anyway. His solo adventures aren't always quite as pretty) it wouldn't bother him if they used lethal force more often.

So really, I think just the fundamental differences in the two of them would easily be enough to make them not the best of friends at first and a bit snarky and sarcastic even long afterwards. Like, Cyclops resenting Wolverine for his cynicism and darkness and being mistrustful because Wolverine's fighting first and foremost for his own benefit and only then for the team and the cause. And Wolverine thinking Cyclops' idealism foolish and thinking he's far too naive to be their leader and a leader should have a bit more realistic worldview. And of course over time they'd come to respect each other and understand that the other has a point too, and Wolverine would become more trusting and more loyal to the team, and they'd become friends (but they'd refuse to admit it 90% of the time and still call each other names and be sarcastic, but it wouldn't be meant to insult in the samw way it was at first).

Like seriously, I think that would be so fun! But nooo, there has to be a stupid love triangle as the reason instead.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Spider-Force #1 Thoughts

Another mixed bag

Once upon a time Stan Lee said every issue is someone’s first. The idea being that you should only presume prior knowledge on the readers’ parts up to a point and otherwise fill them in on the important details of their characters and the ongoing story so that any reader, new, old, or lapsed, could enjoy any issue.

Come the 2000s this way of doing things got abandoned. At best you’d get a recap page that would fill you in on the plot but little else.

I mention all this because I only skimmed Kaine’s Scarlet Spider book and whilst I collected it I barely skimmed Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider, I plan on reading both more thoroughly at some point in the future. I merely heard about some things regarding Jessica Drew’s solo title and my knowledge of Ashley Barton only stretches as far as her terrible and confusing debut in Old Man Logan and the knowledge she was among Otto’s more violent recruits in Spider-Verse.

What I’m saying is I’m not as familiar with all these characters as I could be. My Kaine knowledge rests chiefly in his 1990s and MC2 appearances with a little more stretching into BND and beyond. And he’s the character I’m most interested in this series for and who I know the most about.*

So please forgive me if in what I say going onwards is incorrect because of my lack of knowledge. In fact please enlighten me. I may for example see a problem where in truth there isn’t one had I read X issue of Spider Woman or not see a problem when there is one if only I’d more closely followed Y issue of Scarlet Spider.

However this itself presents an inherent problem with this book, and indeed more modern comics as a whole.

It took prior knowledge for granted.

I’m trying to recall a single instance in this issue where it was even mentioned that Kaine was the clone of Peter Parker, or any of his history with Ben Reilly. And I can’t. I can’t recall any of that stuff. Equally I can’t recall any instance of when Kaine and Jessica Drew ever shared a conversation with one another or why Jessica Drew would be a good recruit for this mission.

From the name, solicits, recap page and general tone of the book the vibe conveyed is that this is a title that is kind of the Spider Suicide Squad. A series cut from the cloth of the hard edged 1980s and 1990s action movies and comics but with spider powers in place of machine guns and knives.

The recruitment of Jessica Drew indeed is somewhat reminiscent of a dozen action films where the bad ass retired soldier has a family and is asked to come out of retirement.

This isn’t a knock against the issue. That’s what it’s trying to be, what it was made out to be, and in isolation it lives up to that.

These are Doc Ock’s more militant, more violent, more harder edged recruits and they certainly feel that way.

They’re slightly sarcastic. They’re more direct. They’re more cynical. They’re more practical and pragmatic. They aren’t that heroic. They aren’t that polite. They aren’t softball.

‘Spider-Force’ even as a name recalls the quintessentially 1990s title X-Force and all those other comics with ‘Force’ in their name.

I suppose when looked at through that lens the comic not filling you in too much isn’t a problem.

This is a hard edged taskforce with a suicide mission that’s necessary for the success of the war. That’s all the story demands you know, so details like Kaine being a clone, or Ashley being a criminal gang leader, isn’t terribly relevant.

Or at least not relevant...to the plot.

From a character POV the reader is left in the dark as to why exactly any of these characters would be good fits for this mission. Everyone seems ‘tough’ sure, but is that it?

Like I know why Jess, Kaine and Ashley are good fits for this mission because I have prior knowledge from older stories. But even then I wasn’t 100% sure if Jessica Drew really did have espionage training or not because her backstory has been retconned and she was a Skrull for awhile there. The story doesn’t clarify that.

The issue in the recap page (which isn’t even part of the real story so you lose some points there) claims this is a team assembled who isn’t afraid to die. But we see little of this from any of the characters. Putting aside how pretty much every Spider-Hero isn’t afraid to die regardless of being hard edged or not, the story shows the characters shocked and ticked off when Kaine reveals they’ve signed up for a suicide mission.

Not a mission that may result in their deaths, but something where the plan was for them to succeed but not return.

Or at least...I think that’s the case.

It’s confusing.

The recap page says this is about a team not afraid to die. Okay.

Then later Kaine blows their escape route stranding them there, implying this is a suicide run. Okay.

But on the same page he says they succeed OR they die. Umm....I’m lost.

Was the idea if they fail they can’t have the option of retreat?

Why didn’t Kaine tell them that upfront?

If they had to be tricked to serve the mission that undermines the recap page’s claim this is about a team who’s not afraid to die isn’t it?

I mean if that’s what the recap page tells you you imagine the idea behind the issue in recruiting the other members is that they’re knowing going after people not afraid to die. But if you have to trick them...then they would be afraid to die. Jessica specifically IS afraid to die because it’d mean losing her son.

Her motivation is also janky. She claims it’s important her son see her being a hero. Okay but from the artwork the baby looks way too young to remember anything so that doesn’t make sense. It would’ve been more logical to drop that aspect and focussed instead upon just the idea that if Jessica doesn’t help fight then then every spider totem including her helpless son would be at risk. Which IS in the story but isn’t given as her primary motivation.

Going back to Kaine I really do not know if being that manipulative is in character for him. It seems like a very Doc Ock move, so in that sense him being in Otto’s faction adds up.

But I dunno if it’s in character. Kaine had this policy in the Clone Saga of not killing indiscriminately and of killing only people who’re bad. From what I’ve read he evolved to minimize whom he kills in general. So the idea he’d be willing to sacrifice the lives of innocent heroes (including a mother and teenager) in such a coldly calculated way raises an eyebrow from me. Maybe it is in character and I don’t realize. I’ll admit my initial reaction to that was interest as it shows a what Peter could have become/could be if his nurture was different.

Another nitpick with Kaine by the way, his scars seemed awefully...tame. I thought in Clone Conspiracy the idea was his scars if not his clone degeneration as a whole had returned (I only skimmed that story too for the record). If that’s the case then shouldn’t he look as messed up as he did in the Clone Saga? Artistic licence was a thing but even when he looked the least ugly it was much uglier than this.

Other problems included the continual reference to Charlie as Ashley’s grandfather. It was to the point where I looked on Marvelwiki because I was sure that couldn’t be the case. Sure enough it wasn’t. I get what Priest was doing, he’s a version of Peter Parker, therefore is technically a version of Ashley’s grandpa but...it’s just confusing. And that’s confusing for me who knows who Ashley Barton is, god forbid you pick this up having not read Old Man Logan.

Another point of confusion was the baffling reference to Earth-3145 (a.k.a. the home of the cowardly Uncle Ben from Spider-Verse)  as ‘home’. I don’t get it. Home to who? The Inheritors? That wasn’t the impression I got at all it seemed to be called home in reference to most of the Spider Heroes but...it isn’t. It’s not their home. It’s a version of New York but...did Ashley Barton even come from a version of NYC? I don’t recall but I have a feeling she didn’t.

Now there are positives to be had here.

For starters the pacing was very good, a lot happened and I even thought briefly it was extra sized but it wasn’t.

Charlie seems an intriguing character and a basic yet effective way of setting up the scenario through a character who, like us, isn’t entirely in the know.

And the artwork is mostly really lovely.

I dunno if I’d recommend reading this or not. I’ll have to see where it goes first.

[silentlytypingyou]

mbti guys vs mbti girls (how it differs)

THIS IS SUCH AN INTERESTING QUESTION, thank you for asking it!

INTP

Girl - Puns and Sarcasm™, pretends she doesn’t have friends, pays attention to people though, so loyal, can’t wait for college, has issues with the practical side of life, makes art with eyeliner.

Boy - The Biggest Introvert Ever, except when you start talking about their favourite subjects, co-dependent relationship with his best-friend, acts careless but has a lot of feelings, (tries to) make things work with his parents. 

ENTP

Girl - Nerdy and popular, obsessed with comic books and movies, has no sense of priorities, “FIGHT ME”, has ambition, knows everyone and everyone knows her, way too many feelings at once or coldest ice queen ever. 

Boy - Horrible puns, mythology nerd, probably an atheist, creates useless junk 24/7, always creating something, has no sense of priorities either, expresses emotions facially, “Let’s start a revolution”.

INTJ

Girl - Is silently processing if you will be worth her time, likes to draw, wants to change things, expresses affection through actions rather than words, resting bitch-face, quiet until triggered, psychologically strong.

Boy - Remembers things until it gets creepy, great sense of style, resting bitch-face (must be an Ni-dom thing), principally interested in testing theories out irl, either very interested in sports or trips over self 24/7, posh nerd.

ENTJ

Girl - Plots 24/7, is the friend in a relationship or perpetually single, enjoys studying economics and politics, great sense of style, competitive and ambitious af, what doesn’t kill her better run, intuitive but practical, eye-rolls. 

Boy - Extravert who likes to pretend he’s an introvert, crushes all the rules to create his own, constantly well-dressed, loves aesthetics, ambitious af, refuses to admit when they’re wrong, charismatic, dad humour.

ISFP

Girl - Oblivious concerning other people’s feelings, has a co-dependent relationship with her best friend, is obsessed with aesthetics and Pinterest, romantic, is actually pretty organised, treadmill runner. 

Boy - Wide array of hobbies most likely including photography, film-making, and exercising, quiet loner who comes out of shell at parties, has three close friends, enjoys philosophical/symbolic conversations. 

ISTP

Girl -  The Cynic™, really smart, owns a bike, probably into photography too, rebellious streak, either completely rejects makeup or is incredibly good at it, oblivious concerning responsibilities, people’s feelings better watch out.

Boy - Great sense of style, really smart, hair on fleek, unexpected opinions who happen to also be extremely sharp, quiet loner, pokerfaced 24/7, has three friends, subtle humour, very salty, wants or owns a motorbike.

ESFP

Girl -  Human labrador, hug attacks, attracted to all things fire and passion, organisation skills put to use when planning events for friends, impulsive af, 10/10 for style, interested in psychology and symbolism, laughs a lot.

Boy - Jokes 24/7, loves food and wine, wants a fun relationship, is a teddy-bear, is good at everything except staying calm for more than 10 seconds, everybody loves him, fierce friend, uses humour to cover up insecurities.

ESTP

Girl - Really cool, mood swings though, wants to travel the world and work as a secret agent, really into art and history, dates a lot, candid laugh, hates to read, crushes on select celebrities, really loyal towards their best friend.

Boy - Always finds a way to get his own, really fit, independent in all kinds of relationship, knows everyone, absolutely restless, probably has anxiety, humour to cover the wounds, sportswear or really classy.

INFJ

Girl - Nervous laugh, wants to save everyone, has a personal vendetta against Trump, very distant towards people she doesn’t know, great sense of style, SYMBOLS EVERYWHERE, very attracted to nature, graceful.

Boy - “Surely there’s more to life than this”, extraverts quite easily, wants to help everyone, daydreams a lot, anxious 24/7, a little socially awkward, makes you feel really at ease, sweet, wise but makes bold moves when under Se.

ENFJ

Girl - Extravert who looks like an introvert, is a social butterfly but craves deepness, aggressively wants everybody to be alright, can be a drama-queen, will fiercely call out the bullies, awkward oversharing.

Boy - Seems to be always happy it’s crazy, candid laugh, everybody loves him, really deep although messes around a lot, acts tough but is a softie, DEBATE IS LIFE, cares about everyone, is frustrated things don’t change.

INFP

Girl - Somehow manages to be both outrageous and cute, either completely stoic or an absolute cupcake, METAPHORS, doesn’t understand people half the time, quiet until passionate, can be really wise.

Boy - Author/poet friend, always a little bit sad, really kind though, an Artist™, owns a dog and/or a guitar, oversized sweaters, unexpected puns, good at Literature, very facially closed-off.

ENFP

Girl - Becomes friends with you in a matter of seconds, chatterbox, outrageous, always up for an adventure, writes sometimes when she’s free from her other 32 hobbies, very random, really weird puns, excited eyes, can be OTT.

Boy - A meme lord, quite chill, has an immediate emotional response to meanness, master procrastinator, is downright outrageous, watches way too many vines, candid laugh, listens to people who cry. 

ISTJ

Girl - Sarcastic but sweet, surprisingly considerate of other people’s feelings at times, doesn’t give two cents about what she looks like, will do anything for her friends, has trust issues though, loves dogs.

Boy - Caring friend, super loyal, dresses simple but classy, listens a lot, has a relatively good relationship with his parents, is a little intimidating at first, works hard plays hard, secret romantic, loves dogs too wtf.

ISFJ

Girl - Fancy colourful jumpers, judgemental af but tries to be nice and accept everyone for who they are 24/7, has 32 different hobbies, incredibly attentive to detail, master procrastinator, great baker, wants to break the rules.

Boy - Attracted to art, has twenty different ideas for jobs and cannot commit to one to save a life, either really quiet or does not know how to shut up, wants everyone to get along, analytical but just needs hugs.

ESTJ

Girl - Will not take your shit if you hurt someone they care about, very vocal in terms of feelings and opinions, trying her best, surprisingly insecure at times, needs attention, ORGANISATION, classy style. 

Boy - Chill until irretrievably triggered, posh clothes, discusses money like nobody’s business, is a good listener though, cab versus public transport, has so many friends, ORGANISATION, secret flirt.

ESFJ

Girl - Remembers the snacks and basically everything else about everyone ever, great at analysing things, has a lot of bottled feelings, gets rid of your social anxiety just like that, either an innocent smol bean or knows wayyy too much. 

Boy - Extravert™, acts like an ESFP half the time, understands people’s decisions, chats and laughs 24/7, can be a little heartless though sometimes, optimistic at all times, very loyal, makes the worst puns.

Here you go! So there are some types that I have only met from one gender, and this is only to be taken as an approximation, since type is not really relative to gender or anything, so I hope I don’t offend anyone. I’m so sorry I’m late, I wanted to make it properly! Have a good day, and take care!

[gg-astrology]

Hi there, I was wondering if you could dot he a sun/moon combo for sagittarius sun and moon. Thank you!

Hey there!! 💓💓💓 Aaah I’m sorry for getting back so late ;; but here I am!! 💓💓 I hope I’m not too late ksjdnfkn

[Below Cut: Sagittarius Sun - Sagittarius Moon 🎈]

The snark is?? so strong?? with this one??

I don’t know why Sagittarius are all into fantasy/sci-fi stuff but I love that and Appreciate this about them

Listen all my Sags are into one of the mainstream stuff (comics, movie/series franchise) they literally CARRY the industry on their back?? You will never not be up-to-date with the sags, if there’s ONE impulsive thing they can’t control is their geek over these things

They’re just so passionate about the things that interests them,,, the type where they’ll probably have theories and speculations, deep-thinkers but use them for talking about things they’re passionate about

You’ll notice that Sag-Sag people tend to go off into their own world a lot, they enjoy your company don’t worry. They just have an inner-temple that’s always making them feel?? like, the external environment is part of their inner environment too??

Thus why if your Sag is a city person, the country side might wonk them up abit. If you Sag is a suburban person, the city will also affect them a lot as well.

Much more homey than you realize like,,,, because they are sensitive to their environment (whether they realize this or not, they spend a lot of time travelling to-from places and being outside) -- living and building stable legs on cities/places are important

Supportive group of friends is also important to the Sags, as they can get lonely and depressed quickly and often if they don’t have people they can hang out and talk to

I know this sounds pretty basic but its the truth, its the simpleness of things with these Sag-Sag combos. It’s having ground, roots, having space, having ability to explore. it’s having friends.

They might not seem like they’ll need anyone, since they may be independent/do things on their own/busy with their life, but they do. They’ll make time for you I’m sure, they care for you.  

This aside let’s talk about Sag-Sag combo some more...

Reactive, with both signs being mutable you’re the type of person who runs on passion and quick-witted thoughts. Since you’re a strong thinker, you think fast and express yourself well/carry yourself through with ‘bursts’ of inspiration

What you need to say -> Boom. Said it. And now the other person respond.

Sometimes it’s 0-100, you might not look like you’re paying attention but then you are. You said what you think, what your opinions are, what your advice should be. You said what needs to be said, and then you’re locked onto being ‘engaged’ into the conversation y know?

Just because you need a little time off sometimes, just because sometimes you might not look like you want to be there. Doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate company, people or those around you.

You can sometimes have quick moods, quick bursts of action like ‘I gotta go somewhere/do something’ or ‘can’t come’ but that doesn’t mean you care any less. You prioritize, and sometimes you know your health comes first (although you’re guilty about it, so so much sometimes)

You’re a creative and spiritual person, expansive (jupiter/jupiter) and you quickly pick up on what someone is trying to say/imply and elaborate it quickly. You’re a descriptive thinker/person, you know your strength-- and that’s in making people feel something, connecting abstract concepts to everyday practicality.

You’re a little informal/casual, but you’re practical with your words. You don’t spend uncertain amount of time mulling over every single word choice or sentence, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to say anything at all (and that window of opportunity might cost a lot to someone else)

You’re quick to reassure, quick to access the situation and quick to string things together. You’re a great mediator even when you don’t think you are, you’re also a great debater and devil’s advocate. But you can see the bigger picture and know when things are taken/edging towards hurting others. 

You may be blunt, and impulsive sometimes. You may have flare ups of passion and strong self-expression, but you do care about others. And you wish others would care for themselves the same way you do to your own self as well (self care??)

You may be sarcastic, sometimes you’re frustrated easily. Venting has always been something that helps, but you like to keep it calm and cool in front of people you’re acquaintances with. 

You ease into trusting and accepting people, it doesn’t come immediately. You’re a rather cautious person with your heart, because your head/mind is already sharp/cynical of things. You can be awkward with certain people, but it doesn’t stop you from reaching out or ignoring that part in order to make them feel comfortable/being cordial and friendly to them.

You like to keep an open-mind and open-heart to experiences, and you may often surprise people with how easy-going you can be on certain topic when you’re so passionate/stagnant and opinionated on others. 

You might shrug, but secretly letting them figure out how people aren’t one-dimensional like this by training them makes you feel proud of them when they finally ‘open’ up their mind/heart to certain things too (take initiative on their own)

You’re incredibly proud of those you care about, you want the best for them. You make efforts to congratulate or be there for them for important things, mostly out of your deep loyalty and moral principality-- these are one of the few things you actually hold serious and close to your heart (showing people that you care/proud of them through presence and action, sometimes word) 

Your words come through inspiration and practice. If the moment is right, you can speak for minutes. You’re like a ‘read, set, go’ runner. 

If you run your mouth you’ll keep running it around, if you’re passive at the beginning you know you’ll have the most impactful ‘burst’ of words forward. it comes with choosing which one you want to bring/need in the moment (context).  

Although you’re a great speaker and people might often think youre the shit (you know you are)-- you know that there’s nothing certain, everything and especially important things are always up for debate/more contemplation about. 

The key to your sharp mind is that you’re always aware that nothing is certain. Things people follow hive-mindedly or taken for granted, simplified answers. They’re never enough for you. You want to know more, why, deeper. What makes it that? Why? Are there alternatives?

You’re an inquirer, and when that’s said in the context of Sag-Sag it makes for someone who guesses their feelings/motives/morality as well. You don’t follow straight lines, cubes or direct rules/standards others set out. You follow your own path and often time you wander or switch lanes.

The thing about Sag-Sag is that you may often realize you live in a pattern, of living in the now and ignoring the long-term consequences of what you do. Absent-mindedness or carefulness that you have isn’t the challenge, it’s realizing how to stop ignoring the ‘bigger things’ about yourself, your habit and your behaviour/thinking (how you take care of yourself) that’s more important.

You wander around a lot but why do you wander? You don’t like restriction of any kind, personal or social. But try thinking about your restlessness and airy-floating freedom that you’re addicted too, you have 0 sense of your bubble bursting. Even the thought of consequences are ignored.

Try applying your sharp critical thinking to yourself step by step, your biggest fear is freaking out over something (losing control emotionally in a way that’s making anxiety spike in you).

Control is important, but through that the path you choose is blissful ignorance. 

Try learning how to system how you work, trick yourself if you have to. If I do this then I can do this, try a healthy coping mechanism. You don’t have to be ‘aware’ of what you’re doing as long as you trick yourself into progressing into ‘coming down to earth’ sometimes.

Practicality is for the bore I know, exactly. So you don’t have to do that. Just try going for better lifestyle, use mainstream stuff to motivate you if you want.

‘Hey this dish isn’t so bad after all, and it’s healthy!’ or ‘Hey maybe I do like this doing exercise, because it’s fun to do!’ -- you don’t have to compromise/tie yourself down. You just have to learn how to adjust 

I hope this is helpful for you aaaahh 💓💓💓 

[marvelloussynergy]

REVIEW - Captain Marvel (2019)

Directors: Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck Screenplay: Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck, Geneva Robertson-Dworet Running Time: 124 minutes Cast: Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Mendelsohn, Jude Law, Annette Bening, Djimon Hounsou, Lee Pace, Gemma Chan, Clark Gregg

A long time coming, the Marvel Cinematic Universe finally has its first female-led film in Captain Marvel. Serving as a prequel of sorts for the franchise, fans will delight at the many connections that link the present to the past, and hint towards the future. And while much of the film works, it falls short of being considered a truly great entry in the comic book movie oeuvre.

The film’s central conceit is a conflict between two alien races: the imperialistic Kree and the shape-shifting Skrulls. Both sides have been waging war with each other for many years, fighting over galactic territory. It’s into this that an amnesiac Carol Danvers (Brie Larson) is thrust, needing to defend Earth while quickly learning who she can trust as she unravels the mystery to her past.

Larson is great as Danvers, presenting the ex-US Air Force pilot as a strong, determined individual that girls (and boys) can admire and look up to. Her ability to balance being tough and emotionally open is what makes the character so likeable. Her wit separates her from the more sarcastic personalities of Tony Stark and Doctor Strange.

And yet, Captain Marvel is pretty standard fair as far as MCU origin films go. Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck are solid directors, although they fail to give the movie a distinct style that made recent entries such as Thor: Ragnarok and Black Panther stand out. An early flashback/memory sequence teases the flair a more non-linear one could have provided, but alas isn’t used to its full potential.

It’s somewhat paradoxical how the film packs in so much information yet lacks so much detail. The Kree home planet of Hala is devoid of any real sense of life or culture, with everything audiences learn about them coming from the militaristic mindset of the Starforce group. The film’s 90s setting is also squandered. Sure the visual gags of the all-but-defunct Blockbuster and ridiculously slow internet speeds are nice touches, but apart from that the story could take place in the present and not much would change. Given their previously brief screen time in Guardians of the Galaxy, Ronan (Lee Pace) and Korath (Djimon Hounsou) are welcome additions, but disappointingly both the actors and audiences are shortchanged yet again, with nothing significant added to their backstories.

On the other hand, Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury is finally given his due, with a much meatier role to play. This is a less cynical Fury, one who is in awe when he discovers extraterrestrial life exists and the beginnings of a man who will one day form a superhero group. The de-ageing visual effect used to make Jackson appear younger is very impressive and naturalistic that one forgets it’s even there. Ben Mendelsohn as the Skrull leader, Talos, is equal parts menacing and charming, threatening to steal every scene he’s in if not for the presence of Goose the cat.

While the action is serviceable (lots of explosions, plenty of CGI) the real appeal lies in the character interactions. A scene between Carol Danvers and her friend Maria Rambeau (Lashana Lynch) as they catch up conveys the warmth the two share despite having not seen each other in so long—the body language of both actresses conveying far more than the words they speak. The banter between Danvers and Fury meanwhile is a source of much of the comedy and moves the film along.

Comic book fans will appreciate how older elements from Carol Danvers’ convoluted history are cleverly interpreted for the screen, with the filmmakers skillfully weaving in elements from more recent story arcs. With a fine start, the Captain Marvel franchise can now take off in earnest and go higher from here. 

[stuvik]

Need | Taegi (M)

Pairing: Min Yoongi / Kim Taehyung Genre: fluff-ish smut, crack  Length: 8.6k  "Asshole!" "At least you know your anatomy."

Taehyung stretched his arms out behind him, knocking his knuckles against the shabby oak headboard. He glanced over just as his roommate decided to collapse on the other side of the bed. The drop onto the mattress prompted Yoongi's shaggy-layered hair to fall in front of his eyes, but he quickly swept them out of the way. Noticing he was being watched, Yoongi glared out of the corner of his vision, cynical eyebrow raised in Tae's direction.

"What are you staring at?" He spoke with a smirk and a flash of dark humour in his eyes.

Taehyung squinted at his roommate suspiciously. "Are you in a good mood?"

Yoongi scowled as if it was a trick question.

"Because you can tell me if you are. You don't have to be ashamed." Tae reached over and poked a corner of Yoongi's mouth. "It's my company, isn't it?"

Yoongi rolled his eyes and ignored him, lethargically batting away the hand that continued to badger him. "Stop poking me, idiot. Or I'll go back into my room."

"Oh boohoo," said Taehyung, rolling onto his side, but he did refrain from prodding his roommate further. At least for the time being. "So what do you wanna do?" he asked with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows.

Yoongi narrowed his eyes. "I thought we were watching some dumb movie of yours."

"It's not dumb," Taehyung defended, giving Yoongi’s shoulder one last, daring jab. He did have his movie collection's honour to defend. With a bounce of energy, he bounded up and crawled to the end of the bed to sit, scanning the DVD selection inside his TV stand. He noticed his shirt had ridden up. He tugged it down, absent-mindedly running his hand over the front. "Uh, what did I say we were gonna watch exactly?"

It might as well have been a rhetorical question, however, since Yoongi didn't deem it anything worthy of a response, and Tae didn't much feel like repeating himself. He pushed off the bed and dropped to his knees in front of the cabinet, running his fingers over the different DVDs, ticking away which were appropriate options and which were not. Both of them seemed to be in a good mood, so nothing too dark. Maybe a comedy.

"So, porn. Is that an option?" Taehyung joked, having run his eyes over a couple of his sex movies he was not ashamed to have out in the open.

"I doubt you'd have anything I'd like," Yoongi said matter-of-factly, but Tae could hear the amusement colouring his tone.

"Oh ho. You think so?" Tae looked over his shoulder, eyes gleaming bright with mischief. "I think you'd be surprised."

Yoongi stared at him without blinking for a while and then slowly smirked. "Would I?"

"You wanna?" Tae asked enthusiastically, light-brown eyes widening comically. "When you do that with your face, I can't always tell if you're serious or kidding. It's why you're so fuckin' good at poker."

Yoongi gave a very small shrug of the shoulders, tilting his head almost imperceptibly to the left. He clasped his hands together, placing them on top of his stomach. He sighed when Tae kept looking at him expectantly, face split into a mad grin.

"Fine," Yoongi caved. "Just""

"Make sure there's no tits or pussy in it, right?" Tae commented vulgarly, grabbing his chest in a way that suggested he was going beyond the simple demonstration of a self-exam. Yoongi snorted in derision.

Pulling a face, Taehyung laughed at him unabashedly and went back to scanning their choices, making sure to avoid all the options featuring female genitalia. After another minute of comparing the graphic pictures on the back of two DVDs that had caught his interest, Yoongi spoke softly from behind.

"I'm surprised you have anything like that," he said, half in wonder.

The lines between Taehyung's eyes furrowed. "Why wouldn't I?" He looked over his shoulder again, a single eyebrow raised. "I think I'm offended."

Yoongi stared at him thoughtfully, remaining mute. Taehyung held up the two selections, showing Yoongi the front of the DVDs so he could read the titles. He watched Yoongi glance them over, gaze shifting briefly from left to right.

"Asses on Fire 5?" Yoongi mused.

"I know, right?" Taehyung chuckled, lowering both movies into his lap. "Title's a bit of a turn off, but there's a scene in here I only need to watch half of before I'm--"

Shutting his eyes, Yoongi held up a hand to stop Taehyung before he could elaborate any further about the details of his ejaculatory experiences. "I don't think that's an information I need to know."

"Oh come on. You're no prude, Suga. I've been around when you bring people home."

"You're one to talk," Yoongi shot back, sounding astonishingly defensive. "At least when I bring them home, it's only one at a time." One corner of his lip turned downward. Taehyung always noticed Yoongi did that when he seemed to be in deep thought about something. His roommate then added in a hushed observation, "And at least I always bring home a consistent gender."

Taehyung rolled his eyes dramatically, climbing onto his knees and throwing his arms over the rustled sheets in exasperation. "You're not gonna start that crap again, are you?"

Yoongi frowned, but didn't reply.

"You're such a snobby fag, y'know that, right? It's not like I need some kind of exclusive gay club card if I wanna fuck men on occasion. I do what I want, alright?"

Yoongi shrugged. "I didn't say anything, Taehyung."

Tae cocked his head. "Yeah, but you were thinkin' it. I could tell."

Again, Yoongi shrugged, and Tae dropped the subject.

“Fine. Since there's nothing sexy about a title that implies possible infections, we'll go with this." He brandished the other selection in the air, shaking it a few times, calling attention to the naked men going at each other bareback. "Just remember to stay on your side of the bed as we watch it. I don't want you tryin' anything funny."

As Tae stood, he cracked open the DVD case with a loud pop. He pushed the power button on the DVD player, the black tray for the disc shooting out like a dangerous projectile. Taehyung took the disc already in there from earlier today and set it on the middle shelf to be put back later. With a smirk, he placed the copy of Bareback Mountain 2: "I Wish I Could Quit (Riding) You" into the tray and gave it a gentle nudge with the back of his fingers to make sure it properly closed. As the warnings about piracy and content flashed and the previews for other videos began, Tae took a few steps backward before sending Yoongi a meaningful, cocky look.

Yoongi met his gaze with a smirk. "What? No popcorn?"

"You're getting into this, aren't you?" Taehyung said teasingly, smiling brightly as he chuckled several times. "I can't believe we've never done this before."

He set one knee on the edge of the bed and leaned over, idly tugging on the front of his t-shirt as his right palm ghosted against the soft duvet.

"Are you really that surprised?" Yoongi dryly inquired, still lying complacently in Tae’s bed, looking completely relaxed and unguarded. Somehow, this greatly pleased Taehyung. This is how he liked Yoongi best. When he wasn't being an uptight, workaholic prick.

Taehyung shrugged. "You really want popcorn?" He straightened out and stretched his arm over his head, bending it and rolling his shoulder until it popped. "If you do, I'll make you some."

"Sure," Yoongi said with a single nod, and as he spoke, one of the raunchier previews in the background punctuated Taehyung's accepted offer of snacks with a drawn out moan.

"Heh." Like the songs of a Siren, Taehyung's attention was drawn to the television. He indulged himself in a scene from an upcoming BDSM flick where a naked guy was hogtied and hanging from a thick rope that dangled from the ceiling.

"Tae."

Clumsily walking out of the room backward, Taehyung waved a hand to dismiss his roommate's impatience. "Fine, I'm goin'. Not like I haven't seen all of this before." Still, his eyes were glued to the scene, and he barely managed to prevent himself from tripping over a sneaker turned sideways on the floor. He cursed, but still kept his gaze on the screen. "Don't hit play until I get back," he warned, completely serious about the threat.

"I wouldn't dare," Yoongi replied sarcastically as Taehyung finally stumbled out the doorway and headed for their kitchen.

After spending ten minutes scavenging through the kitchen cabinets like a rabid squirrel on the last day of Autumn, Taehyung had to give up on finding the box of popcorn he'd thought they'd had. There was a good chance he'd either: 1) eaten it all already or 2) he'd never bought any to begin with. However, he did find an open package of Oreos. He tried one out, the black crumbs lining his bottom lip as he chewed. They were a bit soft, but couldn't completely be called stale. Yoongi didn't even really like cookies, but at least it would look good that he made the effort to replace the promised snackage.

He shoved the plastic tray back into the packaging, sauntering down the hallway to his room. Out of habit, he kicked the door closed on the way in and half leapt, half fell onto the empty side of the bed. The TV screen was still set on the preview to the movie as Tae settled the Oreos in between them, licking the residual chocolatey bits off of his fingers with a satisfying pop.

"What happened to the popcorn?" Yoongi asked. He was sitting up, his back against the headboard, eyeing the cookies like they were a pipe bomb he'd just discovered in his mailbox.

"Didn't have any," Taehyung answered as he searched around the sheets for the remote control. He couldn't find it and so he leaned over the side of the bed, lifted up the dust ruffle and found the controller hiding under one of his dumbbells. He got back into position and pressed play as he grabbed for another cookie. Taehyung glanced over at Yoongi and grinned.

"You have chocolate on your teeth."

Taehyung grinned wider and made a show of licking it off with his tongue. "You're just jealous."

Yoongi snorted. "Of what?"

"That these having a better chance of getting inside my mouth than you do." Tae laughed at his own joke, grabbing two of the bed pillows and stuffing them under his head as he lay down.

"You're ridiculous. You know that, right?" Yoongi sneered. Taehyung watched his roommate's face. His expression didn't show him to be nearly as disgusted with the idea as he sounded as dark, intelligent eyes drifted to the television set. Then Tae let his attention fall to the movie, too, occasionally shovelling another cookie into his mouth.

Fifteen minutes into the film, two men in cowboy hats had discarded most of their clothing and managed to fit themselves within a tiny pup tent. Both were rather muscular men with attractive faces. They kissed at first. The one with a goatee and blondish tint to his hair still had a pair of boxers on, but the other, longer-haired man was already reaching inside his partner's shorts to pull out his erection. Even though Taehyung had seen this film several times already, enough that it occasionally skipped from ware, it still managed to have a rather profound effect on him. It seemed as if it had taken him five minutes to eat his last Oreo, slowly nibbling at it until he was just about to bite down on a fingernail. Yoongi had gone so silent, that a couple of times, Taehyung had actually forgotten he was there. He looked over. It took a second, but Yoongi also turned his head and met his gaze.

"Like it so far?" Taehyung asked as a low moan emanated from the television.

Yoongi gave him another long look without saying anything and returned to watching the movie. Taehyung chuckled and grabbed up the remnants of his snacks and set them on the floor. He threaded his fingers together and shoved his hands under his head, watching the man with long brown hair taking the head of the other man's cock into his mouth. They were shallow thrusts at first. Fingers tangled in the man's hair as the guy getting sucked off tried to piston himself deeper.

What had started out as kind of a joke was beginning to make Taehyung slightly... uneasy. It was very much a fact that he could never get even half way through this film without having to masturbate. Not only were the sex scenes hot as hell, but the third scene contained what he would consider to be...a secret fetish of his. He and Yoongi were close, sure, but Taehyung had never quite revealed his one weakness when it came to sex.

"What's with that serious face?"

Taehyung nearly choked but managed to take in a short breath and recover his cool. "Huh?"

Yoongi studied him with a raised eyebrow. "You asked me if I was enjoying it, but now you seem... odd."

Taehyung squinted an eye shut. "What're you talkin' about? It's just hard to enjoy with a bastard like you in my bed."

Okay, weird. Even though he'd said that, that wasn't entirely true at all. Lying about something so stupid had him a bit worried.

"Just shut up and watch the movie, Yoongi. You're distracting me from the good parts."

Yoongi chuckled. A low chuckle. For some reason, it even sounded kind of sultry and flirty. Or maybe that was Tae's imagination? The scene progressed as the man who'd just given the other a blow job began sliding a finger along the other man's crack, the exposed hole now coated in a slick lube as he plunged inside, rhythmically moving his fingers as his partner moved back against them.

"Ah shit," Taehyung said and covered his eyes with his hand only to spread them out and peek through. "I'm such a sucker for a fingering scene, I swear."

Yoongi laughed outright, and Taehyung turned his head and smiled at him.

"Hey Yoongi? Are you a fingering sorta guy?"

Yoongi gave him a condescending look. "A 'fingering sorta guy'?"

Taehyung nodded, setting a hand on his stomach. "Yeah. Some guys don't seem to like it. To be honest... I've, uh, kinda never had it done to me."

Yoongi's mouth parted ever so slightly. "You've never been a bottom?"

Taehyung frowned. "No, of course not. Well, one time "Wait, do you remember that time like three months ago when I went to play pool with Jungkook and came back with that one guy I'd actually met after we almost got into a fist fight in that bar...?"

Yoongi tilted his head to the side. "Vaguely..."

"Well when I brought him back here." Taehyung coughed, having the decency to look slightly embarrassed at the memory since he'd come home late, found Yoongi on the couch reading, then tripped all over himself as he and his... guest... had stumbled into the bedroom. "He kind of just assumed that's how it would go. But afterward, I think he found his decision to be quite enjoyable."

"Uh huh," Yoongi drawled, something flickering in his eyes that Taehyung couldn't quite figure out. It caused the smile on his face to waver.

"I guess that's another reason we could never work out together," Taehyung found himself saying. "We're both pretty dominant kinda guys. Stubborn and all that. Neither of us would wanna give in first."

"Heh."

The once tame moans and grunts coming from the TV had now become something more desperate and primal. The smaller man's ass was up in the air, his partner pounding into him at a sharp angle from above, a hand on his shoulder pressing his face into the floor. The bigger man's balls slapped mercilessly against the other's ass. The man on bottom's ass-cheeks had been stained a bright, flushed red as he met the violent thrusts. Taehyung couldn't help but watch the man's hand begin to jerk off his own cock. It looked so stiff and swollen against his stomach, it couldn't help but send a few tingles to Tae's own groin. But though he hadn't exactly meant to get a hard on while watching this with Yoongi, he should've considered it a possibility. Not to say Yoongi had never seen him with an erection anyway considering how long they'd known each other.

Hell, he'd walk out into the kitchen with morning wood all the time, grab some cereal, and then go back into his room to work on getting rid of it. But the warmth, the proximity of another body in his bed... made it... different. As he thought more and more about it, watching the man on bottom climax onto the tent floor only to be rolled over onto his back as his partner came on his chest with a pained grunt, he'd become perfectly aware of how quiet he and his roommate had become. Taehyung squirmed, having the intense desire to sneak a glance at Yoongi, but if he did, his roommate would probably call him on the flush no doubt apparent on his cheeks by now.

The first scene came to an end, and the second one began. Since both "actors" were clothed and sizing each other up, Taehyung had time to relax himself for a brief few seconds. However, he nearly jumped when something brushed against his bare arm.

"What are you doing?" He nearly shrieked, calming his voice at the last second. He raised himself on an elbow and glared at Yoongi.

"Um. Changing positions?" Yoongi answered as his eyes shifted across Tae's face.

"Oh..."

"I thought you wanted to watch this..." Yoongi said slowly.

"Watch what?" Taehyung asked obliviously.

Yoongi rolled his eyes. "The movie. The next scene is starting..."

"Oh... yeah. This scene isn't even my favourite anyway. I like the third one."

"Ah." Yoongi rested his forearm atop his forehead. The movement made his black shirt ride up ever so slightly, revealing the top of a dark trail of hair.

Taehyung stared at it briefly, then realizing what he was doing, he looked up into Yoongi's face. Yoongi stared right back, an eyebrow raised in obvious amusement. Taehyung laughed sheepishly and scratched at the back of his neck, tangling his fingers in the fine brown hair at the nape.

"Heh."

Yoongi drew himself up onto his elbows, having been lying down on his back since the middle of the first scene. "So why is it you enjoy the third scene so much? Should we skip ahead?" He grabbed for the remote, which was placed between them, and hit the skip button.

Taehyung tried to make a quick attempt to swipe it out of his roommate's hands. "No, no, don't do that!" He practically tackled Yoongi trying to wrestle it from him. Yoongi pushed him back, pressing a hand firmly to Tae's chest.

"What's with you?" Yoongi asked. Taehyung's gaze dropped to the hand pressed to his chest and then to his roommate's face.

"It's just... this is the scene that really turns me on! I don't wanna watch it with you!"

Yoongi stared a moment, then the corner of his mouth lifted. "And why not?"

"Well. For starter's, um, 9 and a half out of ten times that I watch this, I get hard. Having you in my bed will make it difficult to take care of."

"Do I make you self conscious?" Yoongi inquired in a husked, teasing voice.

"Of course not!" Taehyung said, flustered. "If you wanna see me jerk off in front of you, then be my guest, but at least I warned you beforehand of what to expect."

Yoongi spoke sarcastically, "How very gracious of you, Tae." Then he looked at Taehyung seriously. "Who says I'd mind?"

Taehyung's eyes bulged out of his head, his subconscious already recognizing the corny music drifting his way from the TV. "You've got to be joking. Ew, Yoongi. We've lived with each other for like two years, and yeah, maybe one time you walked in on me in the bathroom, and yeah, there was that time I forgot to take that tape of me with those Swiss twins out of the VCR when you were trying to record that episode of House, but... we... I... you..." Taehyung faltered.

Yoongi fell back onto the bed. "I was... kidding."

"Oh... oh right." Taehyung forced a laugh. "Yeah, yeah. Uh, me too." Embarrassed for making such a stupid big deal about it, Tae slinked back down into the bed. His own hand accidentally rubbed against the top of his thigh, and he flinched.

"So what's so great about this scene again?" Yoongi asked, the neutrality of his tone somehow calming.

"It's... what they say," Taehyung replied ambiguously, shifting into a more comfortable position.

" 'What they say'?" Yoongi repeated.

"Yeah... I have this thing about dirty talk. Yeah, the scene starts off kinda nice and slow like this, but once the clothes come off and they're in bed... I just... I mean... yeah the sex is hot, but, guh..." he rambled.

"Interesting."

"I once dated this girl in college. Her name was... ah, shit, I actually don't remember her name, but she had a filthy mouth and could go for hours. But to be funny, when, you know, she wanted me to cum more quickly, she'd lean over and say the dirtiest shit in my ear, and I swear it was over two seconds later... Lousy kisser though."

Yoongi's lips thinned. "Thanks for sharing."

Taehyung nodded. "No problem."

They were at the part in the third scene where the clothes were starting to come off. Both of the men appeared to be in their early 20s. They could've passed for frat brothers, and maybe they were. One had apparently shaved his head though, and a small silver hoop dangled from his left ear. He had the tiniest bit of chest hair, while the other man didn't seem to have hair anywhere but on his head. Even his balls were hairless, and he was tan, but there wasn't a single tanline on his body. He was the one with the dirty mouth, too. Taehyung was trying to tune him out since he was already starting to tell the other man what he wanted him to do. Although, it didn't really look as if that bald Marine-looking guy needed explicit directions.

Taehyung grabbed a pillow behind his head and growled, shoving it over his face so that he wouldn't have to hear it, but suddenly it was pulled off of him and thrown on the floor. Yoongi was leaning over him, his long bangs swaying in front of his face as he peered at Taehyung.

"Why was she such a lousy kisser?" Yoongi asked.

Taehyung swallowed. "Too much tongue."

"Ah." Yoongi breathed a charming chuckle. "You don't like tongue?"

"Um..."

"Show me?" Yoongi leaned over further, pressing his hand down on Taehyung's chest.

"Are you serious?" Tae asked, squirming onto his elbows. He searched Yoongi's face for an answer when there was none that seemed to be forthcoming. "Why?"

"If you don't want to..." Yoongi began to pull away, but Taehyung grabbed him by the front of the shirt.

"I didn't say that," Tae replied, tugging his roommate closer. He smirked. "I just didn't want to take advantage of you while you're vulnerable."

"You think I'm vulnerable now?" Yoongi returned the smirk. "I think I'm the one in control."

"Uh huh. Sure you are, bastard." Pushing himself up, he pressed his lips to Yoongi's, feeling the other man's mouth part at the contact. One of them murmured into the kiss. Yoongi moved on top of him, and Taehyung slid his fingers into his roommate's hair. He smiled as he started breathing through his nose, parting his legs so that Yoongi could slide between them. He took in a sharp breath when Yoongi's warm hand slid under his shirt and skimmed across his stomach. Yoongi laughed softly at the reaction. He nipped at Taehyung's bottom lip gently and nudged Tae's cheek with his nose. The porno on in the background was an erotic chorus to their making out. The denim of their jeans rustled as they both shifted. Yoongi stroked Taehyung's cheek with a finger and then let it glide across a cheekbone. Taehyung's hand ran in absent circles over Yoongi's lower back, touching the skin above the waistband with his fingertips.

"Actually," Taehyung said, licking his lips as bright eyes stared up at Yoongi with good humour, "I do like tongue. Just not a lot of it. No one likes to be slobbered on."

Yoongi smirked. "Shall we test it out? See how much is a good enough amount of tongue?"

"I think I've moved past the stage of experimenting," Taehyung joked. He pushed away Yoongi's bangs, tucking them behind his ear. Then he sighed as Yoongi angled his head. "This feels good. How come we haven't done this before?"

Yoongi gazed at him thoughtfully. "For starters. You're unreliable."

"Unreliable!?" Taehyung squawked and tried to sit up, but Yoongi held him down.

"You were supposed to get popcorn and ended up bringing Oreos. Now you taste like chocolate."

"Pft. You know I'm one of your most reliable friends. Don't give me that bullshit. Because we get along so well is why we live together, asshole." Taehyung once again tried to sit up, but Yoongi held him firmly down and placed a kiss to his chin. Immediately, Taehyung felt calmed by it, though he squirmed one more time for the show. "Hmph."

"I don't think that's the real reason why nothing has ever happened between us before."

"Nah, probably not," Taehyung said, but gasped when he felt Yoongi's mouth at his neck, licking lightly at first and then sucking right where he could feel his own pulse. "Ngh. Of course you would be good at this. Aah..." At the back of his mind, though his eyes had shut of their own accord, he could hear that the scene had become more heated. But all his focus seemed to be on the lips at his throat. The teeth that nipped at his skin. The fingers that tugged at the collar of his shirt and kissed at his collarbone. Taehyung drew his knees up slightly, his thighs rubbing against Yoongi's hips.

"Is it because we fight so much?" Taehyung asked, tilting his head when Yoongi started to attack the other side of his neck.

"I like fighting with you," Yoongi breathed.

"Hmm..." He shifted again, glancing over Yoongi's shoulder to view the TV. Yoongi huffed and leaned up, also glancing behind as Hairless Guy was busy riding Baldy backwards, telling him how much he loved "that huge hard cock inside him. Fucking him hard and making it feel so... ah... yes... good."

Yoongi looked down into Taehyung's face again, sighing. But he smiled. Tae grinned in exchange.

"I lied about bottoming by the way," Taehyung admitted with a shrug.

"I figured."

"Huh? How?" Taehyung urged him to lie on top of his body again, and Yoongi did so, fitting snuggly between his legs. "I mean, I've only bottomed twice, but I didn't like it. You switch though, right?"

"Not a lot, no," Yoongi answered frankly, a very firm line set in his brow. "Sit up for a second."

Yoongi gave him room to sit, but only for long enough that Taehyung's t-shirt could be ripped off over his head and tossed against the window, where it caused the drawn blinds to sway. Taehyung helped Yoongi out of his shirt. He balled it up for him and threw it toward the foot of the bed. When they came together, it was skin against skin. It wasn't entirely odd to be exploring Yoongi’s chest with his hands. Yoongi who he'd known for years and years. Who he'd lived with and had never really considered kissing let alone screwing. Okay, well barring drunken nights where with the right lighting, Yoongi was very pretty. Okay. So Yoongi was really attractive, really smart, and also really funny, but Taehyung had never wanted to ruin their friendship by crossing some kind of line.

"This is okay, right?" Taehyung asked. It felt right. But he wanted to make sure it felt right to Yoongi.

Yoongi leaned in, his bangs hanging, the very tips touching Taehyung's cheek. "This is right," he said against Taehyung's mouth and kissed him. Slowly this time.

Yoongi's hands went to either side of Taehyung's head, and he shifted his hips, moving them against Taehyung's in a drawn out, downward movement. Taehyung's lips parted in a quiet gasp, giving Yoongi's tongue enough room to sneak inside. Sparks ignited all over Tae’s skin at this new sensation. His legs automatically moved to lock around Yoongi's waist.

There was nothing hurried about their kissing. Their tongues overlapped one another until Taehyung tugged Yoongi by the hair, drawing their faces apart but only so Taehyung could suck on Yoongi's tongue, coaxing it back into his own mouth where it started all over again. Except now their hips were grinding, and Tae's toes were curling and flexing. He'd never been with anyone who kissed as good as Yoongi did, and as they both came up for air, he told him so.

Yoongi appeared cocky after that, but it looked good on him, so Taehyung didn't mind. In fact, he smiled quite genuinely.

"You know," Yoongi began. "Just because you picked a couple sloppy fucks, doesn't mean it can't feel good." At the emphasis on the word 'good,' he pressed his hips harder against Taehyung's.

Taehyung bit at Yoongi's shoulder. "Why does it matter if you already switch anyway?"

Yoongi frowned, and Taehyung prodded him in the ribs. He squinted suspiciously. "You do care, don't you? You wanna fuck me!" He said it like it was some great epiphany, but he could genuinely see it in the way Yoongi was looking at him. Like he was determined or something, but Taehyung couldn't completely piece it altogether.

Yoongi narrowed his eyes moodily, "I thought we already established that, and that's how we got to this point."

"Well yeah," Taehyung said, almost finding the noises coming from behind them humorous, "But it's important to you that you be the one fucking me, huh? Is it 'cause it's me or 'cause it would be our first time, and you need to, like, assert your dominance? 'Cause what? If I fuck you... you'd mope around the apartment thinking I'd brag about it? What's the deal. Explain."

"Oh yes. Good to see you know me so well," Yoongi commented caustically, but as an apology, Tae nipped at his jawline. He slid his hand along Yoongi's spine, not really wanting to fight. He couldn't help his curiosity though. It was so easy to tell when there was something Yoongi wanted. It's not that Taehyung was completely opposed to bottoming. Even if his first experiences with it hadn't been amazing. But it wasn't much of a guess to conclude Yoongi would be very good at it. There wasn't much Yoongi  was not amazing at, but that's not to say he wouldn't have a good time if Tae fucked him.

"I believe you're putting too much thought into it," Yoongi observed. He traced the shell of Taehyung's ear with his thumb. Tae moved into the gesture, almost purring at the unexpected tenderness of it.

"Am I?" Taehyung smirked.

Yoongi bit down on the soft shell of his ear while a palm skirted over Taehyung's right nipple.

"You just want me to say the things you want to hear, maybe?" Yoongi inquired with a lift of an eyebrow. His eyes shifted away from Taehyung's face, and a small sneer appeared on his swollen lips. "Like that girl did." Was it just Taehyung... or did Yoongi somehow seem jealous?

"What girl?" he asked to be cheeky. "Oh, oh, of course. That girl. There've been so many after all..."

Yoongi narrowed his eyes, and Taehyung's nipple took the punishment for that comment by being pinched viciously between his roommate's fingers.

"Dirty talk, right? It's your weakness?" Yoongi asked, releasing the abused nipple only to slide down and lick it with the tip of his tongue. Taehyung watched with heavy-lidded eyes as it disappeared inside Yoongi's mouth. The other man sucked, cheeks hallowing, and Taehyung's back arched up off of the bed.

"Yoongi..." he half-moaned. Yoongi looked up while giving another quick suck. Taehyung had learned his lesson. Yoongi laid against his side as Taehyung studied his face, the movie having gone onto the fourth scene a while ago. "Did I say that?" he asked, now that he could speak with a steady voice.

Yoongi laid back down on top of him. Taehyung's arms wrapped around his shoulders as Yoongi spoke in the sexiest voice he'd ever heard, right into his ear.

"You'll let me fuck you if I make you want it."

Taehyung shivered and bit the corner of his mouth. "That's kind of a one-sided deal," he whispered in low tones. "If you don't want me to fuck you, just say so--" Yoongi's hand quickly moved to cover his mouth as he was shushed.

"You'll want it, Tae. Trust me." The hand was removed from his mouth. "Didn't you tell me all of that because you want me to know what turns you on?"

"No," Taehyung answered stubbornly, though his traitorous hips took that moment to want to roll against Yoongi's.

"Uh huh," Yoongi chuckled, his hands moving to Taehyung's belt buckle. In a daze, Taehyung's hands moved, too, zeroing in on Yoongi's belt, quickly undoing it. With a vulpine-like grin, he unsheathed it like a whip from the loops and made a show of dropping it to the floor. Yoongi didn't bother removing his all the way. He simply unhooked the button and drew Taehyung's zipper down, cupping the bulge with his hand. They watched one another as Taehyung rocked into it, and Yoongi started tugging the jeans until they reached Taehyung's knees.

"Figures you'd have to be good at everything," Taehyung sighed, hips rocking in measured movements. He started to unfasten Yoongi's pants, fingers getting a brief chance to run through that dark patch of hair he'd seen earlier. Taehyung's hands slid along Yoongi's chest, his shoulders and then down his muscled arms. Yoongi shifted, sitting up. He hooked his finger in the loops of Taehyung's jeans and pulled them the rest of the way off while on his knees. He threw them in the direction of the foot of the bed. Taehyung sat up, kissing Yoongi's stomach and up the centre of his chest as he began helping his roommate out of his jeans. They shared playful kisses, having a hard time of getting the jeans off because they were too busy touching each other anywhere there hands could reach. Once their mission was accomplished, Taehyung lay down again, kicking the sheets and duvet away from them.

"You haven't said anything dirty for a while," Taehyung mused. Yoongi was just about to lie on top of him again when he stopped and smirked. His head was very close to Taehyung's crotch. Yoongi mouthed the erection, and Taehyung momentarily lost a couple mental functions.

"I thought that was supposed to happen when I'm ready for you to cum?" He tugged down Taehyung's boxers. Slowly. Taehyung watched their progress as they passed his knees, his shins, and then, finally, off his feet. He wiggled his toes as Yoongi returned to him, his hand brushing along the inside of Taehyung's leg. Up his thigh, and just barely missing the side of his cock, which was already hard and stiff against his stomach.

"Well if you talk like that, it won't take very long at all," Taehyung sighed as Yoongi pressed his mouth to the indent of muscle right below his hip. As Yoongi moved up his body, he grabbed for Taehyung's shaft, stroking him as he moved in for another kiss. Gratefully, Taehyung moaned into it, twisting and gyrating into Yoongi's skilled hand. He could already feel pre-cum oozing from the tip. Yoongi gathered it between his thumb and forefinger and began spreading it over the length.

Taehyung's head fell back against the pillow, and his eyes rolled to the ceiling. "God. I should’ve asked you to watch porn with me so much earlier than this."

Yoongi smirked and clamped down on Taehyung's nipple, still stroking and pulling him as Taehyung continued to groan in appreciation. "Ugh. I've never met anyone who gives a handjob half as good as you, and I went to a Catholic high school."

Yoongi laughed lightly, removing his mouth from the nipple. Taehyung grinned at him and brushed his bangs out of the way so that he could see his roommate's smile. Yoongi swooped in and captured his mouth in a searing kiss, squeezing at the base of Taehyung's cock as their lips met. Yoongi stroked and squeezed his way back to the head, where, just as he flicked his finger across the slit, he snaked his tongue inside Taehyung's mouth. If Taehyung didn't have such amazing stamina and will, he might've cum right then. Yoongi's sweaty skin stuck to his, and the pungent smell of their musk wafted into his nose. The hand on his cock became more rough and aggressive in its movements. Yoongi wouldn't leave his lips alone. Taehyung grunted and groaned inside Yoongi's mouth. He could feel Yoongi's hard shaft against his thigh, pressing urgently.

Their kiss broke apart with a loud smack, a thin string of saliva snapping as Yoongi moved away from him to get on his knees.

"Do you always talk this much during sex, Tae?" Yoongi asked, tugging and pulling on himself, staring at Taehyung with a smug smirk.

"I get it, I get it," Taehyung said as he got onto all fours. He covered Yoongi's hand with his and got to his knees. Their hands moved in tandem between their bodies, their lips coming together in a softer kiss than before. Taehyung's unoccupied hand cupped the side of Yoongi's face, then slid to the back of his neck to pull him into a deeper kiss. Yoongi nibbled at his bottom lip, and Taehyung smiled. "Fine. I'll find something to preoccupy my mouth with then so you can have some peace."

"That's more like it," Yoongi said. Taehyung got down on his hands and knees and took Yoongi into his mouth, laving over the head with pleasure, because, unlike a lot of people, he actually liked giving blow jobs. He sucked at first, making slurping noises as pre-cum leaked out of the tip and coated his lips. He tasted it on his tongue, finding it spicy, but with the hint of something...sweet. Like citrus. He held the base of Yoongi's cock with one hand while balancing himself by pressing the other against Yoongi's firm thigh. Yoongi was already thrusting shallowly, calling to mind images of the earlier scenes of the movie, which by the sound of it, had come to the fifth and final scene.

His hand slid up Yoongi's thigh to fondle his sac. Yoongi must have a thing for that because he let out a loud grunt as Taehyung tugged at his balls. Taehyung hallowed his cheeks more, bringing in his lips and widening his mouth as much as he could. Yoongi was a bit thicker than he'd imagined, and it had been a while since Taehyung had done this. He slid his tongue along the bottom, following the line of a vein. His hand went around to grab at an asscheek while the other went to Yoongi's left hip so that he might be able to control how quick and deep the thrusts could go. Taehyung edged forward, swallowing more until the head of Yoongi's cock was pushing toward the back of his throat. He would've been content to have Yoongi cum in his mouth, but before he could make another false-swallow he was tugged by the hair.

Taehyung's eyes were half lidded as Yoongi pulled him up and embraced him. Yoongi bit at his lips, seemingly sucking the taste of himself off of Taehyung's mouth, licking the corners like it turned him on that his scent was all over Taehyung's skin. Taehyung laughed at the show of possessiveness. Yoongi snorted.

"I never would've thought someone like you would be so good at giving head," Yoongi teased.

"C'mon, Yoongi." Taehyung tilted his head and gave an arrogant smirk. "What'm I not good at?"

Yoongi opened his mouth to respond.

"Shut up. That was rhetorical."

"Shut up, huh?" Yoongi said, running his hands down Taehyung's naked sides and then over his ass, where on its way back up, one hand took a detour by way of his crack. Two fingers brazenly slid across his hole and Taehyung jumped.

"Asshole!"

"At least you know your anatomy."

Taehyung couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm going to have to find another way to preoccupy your mouth, I think," Yoongi sighed and then roughly shoved Taehyung onto his back, his head safely meeting the pillows instead of the wood of the headboard. Taehyung scowled up at him.

Yoongi didn’t blink an eye. "Where are your condoms?"

"Uh, actually..."

Yoongi arched an eyebrow.

"I used the last one a couple weeks ago. But, I mean..." His hand fidgeted on top of his stomach. He shook it out and let it fall to his hip as Yoongi crawled in between his legs. "I'm... clean."

"Hm." Yoongi batted his hair away and huffed.

"Does that mean you're...?"

Yoongi spread his legs further apart with his hands and laid down on top of Taehyung. Their cocks rubbed against one another. Taehyung shuddered and grit his teeth. Yoongi's breath was warm against his ear. He rested his hand on the small of Yoongi's back.

"If we're going to do this," Yoongi spoke against the side of his throat, kissing him right underneath his jaw. "For the first time... I want to be the one fucking you."

Taehyung started to retort, but Yoongi bit at the juncture between neck and shoulder painfully.

 "Let me finish," Yoongi scolded, kissing the spot he'd abused. "Not because I want to prove to you I'm the dominant one." His hand smoothed along Taehyung's side and hooked under Taehyung's left knee. "Not because I don't trust you to fuck me, and certainly not because I think I wouldn't enjoy that..."

Taehyung swallowed as the arm hooking under his leg bent him further in half, exposing himself more to Yoongi's eyes.

"Then why?" Taehyung managed to ask as another arm snaked under his right knee. Yoongi heaved forward and pushed him down fiercely. Taehyung gasped but loved the strong hands and fingers digging against his skin. The hard body weighted on top of him. The feel of his cock as it pressed against Yoongi's belly. It was deliciously perfect as all his muscles began tensing in preparation, though he was meaning to relax certain other muscles. He evened out his breathing as Yoongi continued, speaking into his ear.

"Because I want you," Yoongi answered. "I want you first, and I know you'll let me have what I want."

Taehyung tried to scowl. "You're awfully confident there..."

Yoongi pressed forward and suddenly Taehyung's hips were nearly in the air.

"Oh that's right," Yoongi drawled as he slipped two fingers inside his own mouth. "You're a 'fingering type of guy,' aren't you, Taehyung?"

"No, ah, I just said I liked--" He was cut off as Yoongi's middle finger slid inside him. It's not like he hadn't ever experienced that before. Maybe not frequently, and no, he hadn't particularly enjoyed it those times, but something about it being Yoongi made it different. That arrogant smirk on his lips as he pulled out his finger only to slide two more in as Taehyung clenched around him and ground his teeth. Of course, that body and that face. Taehyung had always found Yoongi attractive. Yoongi was beautiful to him in a lot of ways, which is why this felt so damn good when it usually felt anything but. Taehyung forced himself to relax the ring of muscles surrounding Yoongi's fingers. He only squirmed a little as Yoongi laid a sloppy kiss to the inside of his thigh and then the tip of his cock. Taehyung mewled and panted. Yoongi slid his fingers out. Taehyung's legs hung limply over Yoongi's thighs until Taehyung was viciously bent in half again.

Yoongi pressed the head of his cock against Taehyung's hole, his expression set in concentration as he pushed forward while using one hand to pull Taehyung toward him.

"Shit," Taehyung gritted as the head started to push inside. He cracked open his eyes to watch Yoongi's face. His stomach muscles were quivering, and his black hair stuck to his cheeks with perspiration. Taehyung lifted a hand to unstick it and hold the fringes back behind Yoongi's ear. Yoongi grunted, yanking Taehyung by the thigh, and suddenly he was sheathed inside. Taehyung exhaled sharply. His hand fell from Yoongi's cheek at the intrusion to grip at a shoulder. He could feel Yoongi pulsing inside him, and he was surprised at how his chest seemed to swell with a million emotions at once, all of which he'd never been expecting.

"Yoongi..." was all he could say, hoping to express everything he felt in the name. Yoongi grunted and gave a jerky thrust. Now he was completely in, their chests pressed together, Taehyung's length trapped between their bodies. Yoongi's stomach rubbed against it every now and again as he began moving. Yoongi nuzzled Taehyung's throat.

"I know," Yoongi said as his hips began to move more urgently, "I know..."

The movie had gone dead, the screen a dull black in the background, but their own grunts and groans and moans of pleasure began to fill the room. The bed rocked, the headboard banging against the wall. Sweat dripped down Taehyung's hairline and along his cheek. Yoongi lifted himself and licked it off before it could make an escape along the path of Taehyung's jaw. Their bodies slid together easily, like Yoongi was a perfect fit.

"If you weren't so goddamn tight, I think we could make this last longer," Yoongi said in broken pants against Taehyung's neck. Taehyung answered with a strained smile as he rocked his hips up and squeezed a hand between their bodies to begin stroking himself.

"I can't help it if I'm the type to give more than I take," Taehyung smirked only to moan as Yoongi shifted a little to the side and angled his thrust upward. Yoongi grinned, apparently having noticed the sharp change in expression. He hit it again and again repeatedly until Taehyung couldn't create a single coherent word, which may or may not have been Yoongi's plan to begin with.

Yoongi continued to jab and pound into him. Taehyung had a hard time keeping a rhythm with his hand every time Yoongi plunged deeper, trying out different angles only to come back and hit that spot, taking pleasure in the way Taehyung cried out every time, clawing at Yoongi's shoulder blade.

"Yes, yes, yes," Taehyung chanted as the bed thudded into the wall, no doubt leaving dents and scratches already.

Yoongi didn't stop. He pressed himself to Taehyung, pushing Taehyung's hand away so he could wrap his own around Taehyung's length. He pumped him while moving deep inside him; Taehyung was at a loss for words.

 "I suppose this means you're close, right?" Yoongi whispered into his ear, licking the soft shell.

Taehyung could only twist his head, eyes widening a tiny fraction. "Don't..." he warned half-heartedly, squeezing around Yoongi's cock as a reprimand.

"I thought you said this is what you liked?" Yoongi replied, this time licking a stripe up Taehyung's cheek. Taehyung groaned and squirmed underneath Yoongi, feeling trapped between the man fucking him and the hand fisting his leaking, swollen erection.

"Nod if you're close to cumming," Yoongi commanded.

Taehyung nodded, biting his lip. Yoongi gazed down at him. He lowered his head and licked the seam of Taehyung's mouth seductively, teasing his lips open. Outside their mouths, their tongues touched. Taehyung's balls began to tighten, muscles clamping tightly around Yoongi. Yoongi groaned but kept on pummelling Taehyung into the mattress.

"Hn. Is this how you imagined it, Taehyung? Me buried deep inside you. Fucking you. Loving you. Riding you so hard you can't even speak any longer."

Taehyung's eyes were glazed. He could barely see. He could only hear the sound of Yoongi's voice near his ear and the throbbing sensation of the cock inside his ass, pulsing hot and urgent. Yoongi kissed him hard. Desperate and close, Taehyung pushed Yoongi's hand away and began pumping himself in earnest. Yoongi braced his arm on the mattress and yanked Taehyung's legs up until his knees were on either side of his head.

Yoongi's mouth was against his ear, the sensation of his orgasm right near the edge. If he could reach out a hand and touch it, it'd be right, fucking, there. The chants came again, like a mantra. "Yes, Yoongi, yes, yes, Yoongi, yes..."

"That's it, Tae." Yoongi kissed the side of his throat. "Say my name. Say it because I'm the one that's gonna make you cum, say it and beg for it like you know you want to."

Taehyung's back arched off the bed. "Fuck, yes, Yoongi. Make me cum. Fuck me. Please. Yes."

Yoongi drove into him with one final thrust as Taehyung's body shuddered with an orgasm so intense he had no idea when he stopped pumping himself. He felt it as the cum spurted out against his and Yoongi's stomach. Seconds later, there was a pain at his shoulder as Yoongi bit down and came inside him. The feeling warm and pleasurable as Taehyung's body continued to convulse and spasm. Their breathing was loud. Like both of them had just finished a Triathlon. Yoongi had slumped over, trying to hold himself up with one arm so he didn't completely crush Taehyung. Taehyung shook his head and looked into Yoongi's face, grinning tiredly. Yoongi leaned in, releasing Taehyung's legs as they kissed each other. Yoongi was tracing circles on Taehyung's hip as Taehyung traced circles along the back of Yoongi's shoulder.

Yoongi smirked. "Guess you really do have a weakness for dirty talk after all."

Taehyung let out a sharp bark of laughter. "Ah well, so long as it's you I suppose it's okay if you know my one weakness."

"Mmhmm," Yoongi murmured and pulled himself out of Taehyung. He rolled off and onto his back, their fingers brushing between their bodies.

"You're right though," Taehyung mused aloud, watching the ceiling. "It really can be good if you find the right person."

"Hn."

"Guess that means the search will have to continue," Taehyung commented. Yoongi retaliated by slamming a pillow down onto Taehyung's face. Taehyung laughed loudly and pushed it off, glancing at his roommate out of the corner of his eye. Yoongi wore a soft smile. He reached over and brushed Taehyung's bangs out of his eyes. Yoongi looked like he had something he wanted to say. The side of his mouth twitched, and his eyes kept shifting back and forth, but nothing followed. Taehyung got it though and understood. He doubted he could articulate it either. Instead, he laid his hand on Yoongi's chest. Over his heart.

"I know," he said. "I get it."

Yoongi nodded at him, rolled over, and kissed Taehyung on the lips before falling back onto the mattress. "Of all people. I figured you would."

Taehyung grinned.

[jpolish-writes-queer-ya-fantasy]

Hi! I was wondering if you could give me advice: I want to write about a main character who’s somehow, “bitter”: cynical, sarcastic, kind of arrogant, but I want him to be likable, so also kind of petty, but it a cute and funny way. But I need to give him a backstory, cause no one is born cynical and all. What kind of experiences make people like this? And also (2), the other main character would be more like, honest, determined, responsible but also witty. How could the two personalities clash?

Hey, this is a really fun question!!!

I would honestly do two kinds of “case studies” – one: do you know anyone in your life with some of those traits? How do they move in the world, day-to-day? What motivates them? I’m not suggesting interviewing this human, lol, but oftentimes people in our own lives – or amalgams of different people – can create the most multi-dimensional characters. And the second: are there characters you see in media (whether it’s comic books, television, movies, books, etc) that have similar traits? What seems to make them tick?

Your description makes me think of Tony Stark, honestly. Now, it’s entirely possible that that’s only because my soon-to-be mother-in-law has been making us watch every. single. Iron Man. film. known. to. existence. for the last week or so, so he’s on my brain quite a bit. But I wonder if you could explore when the moments are that he’s likable (versus the moments, like in the first Iron Man film, where you just pretty much hate him), and figure out what makes all those moments work, what makes him tick. 

Of course, not all people have the same reactions to similar experiences, so you’ll have to really dig into your character to unearth where they’re coming from. There are plenty of exercises to get to know your characters better: I might suggest making a list of 20 things about your character that you aren’t necessarily going to tell your readers, but that nonetheless make up who they are. Those kinds of exercises can give characters a lot of depth.

In terms of your other main character, I’d encourage a similar line of inquiry and activity for them, to flesh them out as a full person as deeply as you can. In terms of the personalities clashing, honestly, again, I’m thinking of… well, Captain America and his relationship with Tony.

I don’t really like either of them – for political reasons, mostly – though I think they’re both well-developed characters and therefore they’re (for me) a joy to watch on screen (usually). So, again, I’d encourage you to explore that clash in examples you see in media already, but also toss yourself deeply into the proverbial shoes of one character at a time to see what their interactions are like.

Something I do with my characters to really develop their personalities is, I sort of write fan fiction for them. So for example, my characters in LUNAV live in a fantasy realm that has similarities to our world, but is very distinctly not our world. So, sometimes while I was writing LUNAV, I would write about Evelyn and Sadie going out to dinner (for example) in a restaurant in Manhattan. That would help me really explore their dynamics and how their personalities clash and mesh, you know? I think those kinds of exercises can really help you get into it!

What about you? What have you tried so far? I’m excited to see where this takes you: keep me up to date if you’d like!

J