#He sounds so legitimately baffled

[mandareeboo]

Seriously? White, you set this kid up with a babysitter and paid him to be friends with him. He's mad and hurt. Do you just- not understand how the average teenage boy works?

[dear-ao3]

the 2024 formula 1 silly season and drama master post, part 2 (part 1 here)

Hello and welcome to ah fucking fuck auto caps fuck fuck fuck how do i turn off auto caps AHA there we go okay. take 2

hello and welcome to the great and very insane formula 1 2024 season drama post, part 2. if you are new here or are just looking for part one (which contains the previous 16 (?) races, the off season, pre season testing and everything else, that can be found HERE. (a word to the wise: open it in a browser, not the app, and preferably on a computer to avoid crashing. its fucking long). 

what the hell is formula 1? car go fast. fastest cars in the world zoom around tracks at top speeds of over 300kph, piloted by the top 20 drivers in the world. it might not sound dramatic, but oh man. you will Not be disappointed. this post focuses on the drama, the insanity, the sheer what the hell how is this a serious sport. no legitimately. we've just about seen it all this year. grindr, dogs, watersports, ice cream brands, its all here.

the point of this post? to educate, to catalog the insane drama, and to just have a good time. people like to gatekeep this sport, there is also a lot happening. i try to make it easy to understand. again, probably best to start at the beginning of the post because it does a pretty good job of explaining things, which i began way back in january, and can be found HERE (again, shes long, be careful)

and, as usual, if you do not want to see this post EVER AGAIN, block the tag #saph explains silly season 2024

and a second caution, i assume this post will be getting long as well. including this one we have minimum 9 updates left!

anyway, those of you who have been following along the whole time, welcome back! i know we got a little delayed. and i know we’re on a new post, so lets just briefly take a second for me to explain what the fuck happened. first i had an anatomy test, second i work 2 jobs with fuck ass hours, third tumblr decided to stop letting me look at any of my drafts, fourth tumblr support ghosted me about the drafts issue and the post was half saving half not so i just decided fuck it, were going with post 2, electric boogaloo, and fifth, i decided to start typing this instead in a google docs so. many changes. if you're new here i am usually more on top of this.

but here we are. were back on street circuits. we’re in baku, azerbaijan, for the start of the last third of the season. 8 races remain, world championship titles are still within grasp of multiple people. the drama is dramaing. and today is september 22, 2024 and lets fucking go. 

first and foremost, on account of the fact that this post is late (again, see above), were going to have to do a bit of a speed run. if you're new here, i promise that this is not representative of my normal dedication to the update post. and for those asking, yeah, ill probably compile it somewhere better than a tumblr post after its all said and done, but we don't have time for that now. 

what we do have time for is the Off Week (and like some of the media stuff). and it was filled with silliness: 

george russell decided to wear what can only be described as slightly ugly yellow short shorts with his taylor swift shirt that he got at the eras tour. this was baffling for several reasons, the main reason being that i don't think the internet knew that he was capable of wearing a graphic t shirt

fernando alonso got his aston martin valkyrie finally. in case you are unfamiliar, a valkyrie i think is the worlds fastest street legal car. he posted tweets about this that made it seem like he wanted to fuck the car. hilariously, the car broke down an hour later.

we also had the very thrilling conclusion to grill the grid. oscar won and he somehow managed to look more pleased about his grill the grid win than his first race victory. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

nico rosberg went to the green awards and he wore a fantastically insane teal blue suit. yes i know hes not a current driver. but you all like hearing about him so ask and you shall receive. unfornunately i cant find a picture of it though

and also not a current driver is mick schumacher, but my roommate asked me to include that he was seen on his girlfriends instagram being bad at golf. like. exceptionally bad at golf. like he hit a tree 20 feet in front of him.

also playing golf was lando norris. except he managed to look like try bolton from high school musical 2.

he also talked about the world driver championship with his friend max fewtrell while they were playing golf. unfortunately i lost this link in the sea of technical difficulties, but the gist of it was that he was saying that there is still hope for him to beat max in the championship (hes about 60 points behind right now). lando doesnt usually talk about the championship because he doesnt want news outlets to paint him as “desperate” so this was interesting

charles leclerc had an insane off week. first he rear ended someone in monaco. then he spoke at a yacht conference. he was not scheduled to speak at said yacht conference, he was there doing something else and they were like hey you're cool people know you, heres a microphone. he alsp ended up on a weather channel while promoting a karting event he was doing for the jules bianchi foundation (his god father, the one who died during the f1 race in japan 2014). he also changed his instagram pop and re centered it because some random tiktoker told him it matched his aesthetic better.

oscar piastri posted a photo of himself sitting in the cockpit of a plane and then promptly deleted it. because he posted it on 9/11. for anyone who doesnt know what that is, that was when some terrorists hijacked commercial planes and few them into the world trade centers in nyc and the pentagon in washington dc

max verstappen also posted a plane pic with himself and lando norris, but he did not delete it.

we also had the return of daniel ricciardo’s jpg instagram account, which is kinda like a finsta for photos that hes taken. i think lando started this a few years ago. 

heading into the race week we certainly got a weird ass batch of pr. including but not limited to:

lewis hamilton was back on top and slaying in the fit game. as was yuki. 

lewis hamilton also exposed george russell as listening to katy perry pre race. katy perry and taylor swift (this was after he claimed that he liked listening to old school rap music.) though, lewis then started singing wrecking ball???? confusing vibes all around

george was not off the hook yet tho because some intern definitely make him say skidibidi toilet or whatever the thing is idk, i might be gen z but im not insufferable, okay? actually george in baku was just all kinds of unhinged

george and alex also got up to something, what it is no one knows but it is clearly something

max pulled up to the paddock de aged about 10 years. picture one is of him in baku in 2015 (i believe he was 17) and picture 2 is this year. no i am not kidding. 

and franco walked into the paddock telling everyone about argentinian mate (which is a drink, not a friend)

and max shoved a microphone out of the way so everyone could gossip

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Scuderia Ferrari HP (@scuderiaferrari)

then of course, we had some slightly more relevant drama

haas announced that ollie would be replacing kevin at baku. in case you forgot, kevin magnussen received a total of 12 penalty points over the season so far, which means he gets one race ban. how did he get the points? well he was mostly wreaking havoc on everyone else so that his teammate, nico hulkenberg, could drag his car into the points. lets all remember the time in saudi arabia where he managed to get 20 seconds of penalties by basically driving like a mad man just to make sure that nico could keep his position after he pit stopped. anyway, nico was kind of pissed about the race ban situation and said “maybe the guidelines for F1 penalties need to be reviewed as the stewards ‘want to get involved’ no matter the contact.”

in any case though, k mags was out. and ollie was in. we’ve seen ollie before. notably he subbed in for carlos sainz at the saudi arabia gp when carlos had appendicitis. he managed to get points as well. since then, he has been announced as a haas driver for 2025 and is now subbing in for k mags (haas, later in the week called him a super sub. clearly no gen z person read that over.) he can do this because ferrari has a haas engine so they share reserve drivers.

adrian newey finally got employed. i know! i can hardly believe it either! but he did! and youll never guess where! 

ferrari? no that would be too obvious. 

mercedes? nah

williams? no too much of a shit show

aston martin? ding ding ding! just the right amount of shit show! 

that is right. newey is going to aston for 2025. 

apparently he was offered a “good package” according to himself, which i assume means pay and also the fact that lawrence stroll made him a shareholder? stakeholder? whatever its called. in the team itself. basically he has a lot of power. 

he said that he always wanted to work with fernando and lewis. and he couldn't do both. and aston had a better package than ferrari. 

fernando looked positively evil during all the announcement pictures. and called the team "definitely the team of the future" and for those of you who don't know, fernando is positively evil. hes just been stuck in a shit box and we havent seen very much of him, but man does he know how to evilly slut it up. so that will be fun to see.

by contrast, people said that lance was not excited enough. and well. lance 1. has resting bitch face and 2. never really looks excited about anything. also he lives in a world where take your child to work day somehow became his job. (his dad owns the team).

lewis hamilton was asked what he thought about adrian not going to ferrari, and here's what he had to say:

"i feel like, while I have mentioned before that it would be an honor to work with adrian, i have been privileged to work with two championship winning teams that didnt have adrian."

mclaren announced pato o ward would do FP1 in mexico. who is pato o ward? hes one of mclaren’s indycar drivers and one of the f1 reserve drivers. he is incredibly charming and definitely runs his own social media as seen here:

mclaren Also claim they figured out who their number 2 driver is and they claim its oscar. i say they claim because the statements were a lot more complex than that. essentially, according to andrea stella, the priority is to the team first, then lando and then oscar. so they didn't outright say that oscar is the number 2 driver and i am willing to bet real money that this is because mr mark webber, oscars manager, has something in oscars contract that prevents him from being a number 2 driver. this is of course because mark webber was one of the most infamous number 2 drivers in f1 history to none other than menace war criminal sebastian vettel, who in their time as teammates, managed to win 4 back to back world champions. or, top to bottom if you're mrs darbus from high school musical. 

lando was asked about this and he said that yes, the team does support him. though he would not expect oscar to give up a win for him and that it is more complex behind the scenes. i suppose we will see if there are any papaya rules coming out this weekend….

and oscar said "i think the main point is its not purely just going to be me pulling over for lando every single race, because thats how none of us, including lando, wont want to go racing, if we feel that someone has done a much better job on a weekend, whichever way it is, we want that person to be rewarded."

max verstappen commented on the mclaren situation as well. which was funny mostly because red bull has one of the most defined number 1 and number 2 drivers of any team. he said "you look at it form oscar's perspective, he is closer to lando than lando to me. they have to deal with that."

and allow me to put on a tin foil hat as we are about to talk about the future of the red bull seat. because all i have to offer here is a baseball hat and a red bull can. 

a long time ago we talked about the red bull cans. the ones that red bull makes to promote f1. at the end of last season red bull put max and checo on the red bull can. this season at the start it was just max on the red bull can. well. now checo has reappeared on the cans too. and i will tell you what i think this means. it means that checo is not getting swapped this season, which was a possibility for awhile. 

but! there is more! 

daniel ricciardo made an instagram post this week. and it was very interesting. but most interestingly he was wearing a red bull hat.

which he does occasionally, no big deal really. he did race for the for several years, he technically does currently. BUT then he showed up TO THE PADDOCK wearing the red bull hat.

which is Big Interesting. usually you show up in a statement outfit or wearing the team kit. and daniel is not a red bull racing driver. he is a visa cashapp racing bulls driver. they might be owned by red bull but they are Not the same team. so why the red bull hat. in the paddock. well, the rumor is that hes taking checos seat for 2025. and the rumor is that this will be announced before mexico. so checo can have a proper send off. 

and with that. the baku lore. 

theres a lot that has happened at baku. as i said its a street circuit. and i think its the fastest street circuit. but over the years theres been some notable events. 

such as the great kimi raikkonen radio for gloves and steering wheel:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

they gave mini kimi this week gloves and steering wheel in honor of that

the max and daniel crash in 2018 when they were running p1 and p2 respectfully

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

and of course. how could we forget. charles’s infamous “i am stupid” radio.

speaking of charles, he crashed again in fp1. not quite in the same spot, but nearly. he took a picture with the marshalls. 

then in fp2 he rage quit, basically saying that the car sucks. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

but he was back and better than ever in practice three because he managed to top the time charts. welcome back fuck ass ferrari.

some other teams definitely experienced the lows but not really the highs of baku during practice. like lance stroll who came on the radio to say “this is not a car” (good thing they have adrian newey now, right? 

franco colapinto also cut his ear before practice on the neck strengthener stretcher thing that they all use and the team wanted to give him stitches but he was like no no no i need to be in the car in about 5 minutes im not doing that. so he jammed on his helmet and jumped in the car. he also crashed and when he went to the medical center he took off his helmet and there was blood everywhere and they were like no no no you cannot race! and he was like no! this is not from the crash! and then explained it and they let him do qualifying. 

also im pretty sure? ollie bearman crashed? in practice? but frankly i don't have time to google it so whos to say. 

but alas. qualifying. 

i know i know this is kind of a shitty update. i promise ill go all out in singapore. i PROMISE. 

so as i said. its a street circuit. high speed. 90 degree corners. and also windy as hell. we also had the dynamic duo of karun and harry in the commentary box. 

max led the first practice, george led the second and i think charles led the third. or some order like that. 

slipstream here is almost essential (slipstream: going behind another car to reduce the wind drag so you can go faster) 

charles has the last three pole positions (first in qualifying) here in baku, but he has never won. by comparison, red bull have never had pole here but they have won. 

and franco has never been to baku before. 

i think that's all the exposition that we need here. 

q1 started with max complaining about his car. “the car is jumping around like crazy on the rear axle” he said. despite this he was sitting in p3. 

the mid field battle though….the mid field battle was heating the hell up. mostly because none other than franco colapinto, who if you will remember, has never been to baku before, had split the two ferraris. he was in third for the moment, .109 seconds behind carlos sainz and .159 seconds ahead of charles leclerc. we still had a lot of qualifying left to go, so this was probably not going to stay, but it was still insane. he was pushing insanely hard, nearly kissing the walls. clearly he had learned from his crash in practice. 

the two mclarens waited until the very end of q1 to do their final flying push lap, and oscar made it through, but tragedy struck for lando. 

lando was in the middle of his last flying lap, time was ticking down, and there was a Very Brief yellow flag on the track. now, according to rules, you cannot complete your flying lap if there is a yellow flag. so lando pitted and was stuck down in 17th and out of qualifying. this would be the first time that he was out in q1 since vegas last year (which if i remember correctly was also not his fault) 

now though, of course nothing is ever that cut and dry. people thought that there had been a mis showing of a flag. yellow flag means that a car is stopped on track, white flag means that a car is going slowly on the track. and people thought that there had been a yellow flag shown when it was actually supposed to be a white flag (if there had been a white flag then lando would have been able to keep doing his flying lap) lando himself said that he had no idea what people were talking about because there is a light on the steering wheel that lights up when flags are called and he had a big yellow light. so it was clearly a yellow flag. 

if you're concerned about lando being able to pull it out of the bag, id like to point you in the direction of the mexican gp last year where lando qualified 17th and finished 5th. on a track that was hard to overtake on. he can be absolutely insane when he wants to be. worry not gentle reader. 

in any case. also out in q1 was daniel ricciardo, valtteri bottas, zhou guanyu and esteban ocon.

and notably, williams, who was on fucking fire this weekend as we already saw, finished q1 with alex albon in second (ahead of oscar) and franco colapinto in 8th. pierre gasly had somehow managed to also get into 4th. and nico hulkenberg was in 7th with ollie bearman in 13th. i told you the mid field battle was heating the hell up. 

q2. everyone zoomed straight out of the gate. they didn't want to get lando norris’d. but, speaking of that, if lando managed to get no points in the race and charles managed to win, charles would overtake lando in the drivers championship. mark webber himself told this to charles, who was absolutely baffled. 

in any case, charles was kinda suffering right now and that was because he was not getting slipstream from carlos to make his lap faster. meanwhile, carlos seemed to be actively trying to give charles the slipstream because he came on radio to say “he keeps missing the tow” 

and amazingly, franco colapinto was 4 tenths AHEAD of alex albon. alex albon who had not been unqualified by his teammate once since the start of 2023. ex red bull driver alex albon. that alex albon. 

max topped the times in q2, followed immediately by charles. insanely, fernando alonso managed to drag the aston martin to fifth. and franco was right behind him in 6th. by comparison alex albon was in 10th. 

and from q2 we lost ollie bearman, yuki tsunoda (who has never qualified lower than 8th in baku), pierre gasly, nico hulkenberg and lance stroll. so yes, ollie bearman managed to outqualify nico hulkenberg. this is ollies second ever f1 race. 

steaming on forward to q3. 

we had, for review, in q3 the following: 

both ferraris, both red bulls, both mercedes, both WILLIAMS (has not happened since vegas 2023), plus fernando alonso and oscar piastri. 

right out the gate it was wild. 

“red bull! theyve re found their mojo! or have they!” karun said. red bull were in 5th and 6th and not entirely sucking for the moment. 

everyone did one flyer and then came out at the end for a second flyer. 

here were the standings: 

charles, carlos, oscar, george, checo, max, lewis, alex, franco, fernando

and everyone was making it to the line and all was going smooth until-

wait a second what is that

could it be! alex albon! with the air box fan still on his car! surely not!!!

oh but it was! and harry and karun were like oh wow so unfortunate for williams tisk tisk

meanwhile ted jumped on the radio to Loudly announce to everyone that this was insane and if i have time here i will put the rant he ranted cause it was Fantastic.

and what do you know i have time

so we had 3 minutes left qualifying and everyone was pulling out of the pits for their last flyer when oscar hopped on the radio to say

"the williams still has the air box fan in"

"oh what an error! disaster for williams!" karun and harry said. they speculated if the marshalls could get it or if the session needed to be red flagged. but alex threw the fan off the car.

and then they asked "ted have you ever seen that before?" and ted did not hold back:

"ITS A MASSIVE YELLOW FAN HOW COULD YOU MISS IT???!!! HOW COULD THE MECHANICS MISS IT???? I CANT BELIVE THEY WOULD MAKE SUCH A MISTAKE DOWN AT WILLIAMS! SUCH AN EXPERIENCED BUNCH OF GUYS AND GIRLS! WHAT IS GOING ON AT WILLIAMS OPERATIONALLY? HOW COULD YOU SEND A CAR OUT LIKE THAT?"

alex, obviously, got fined for an unsafe release 5k euros. he also had to throw the fan off to the side and got slightly covered in dry ice. he did not get to the a second flying lap. 

franco did tho!

and here were out qualifying results: 

p1: charles p2: oscar p3: carlos p4: checo p5: george p6: max p7: lewis p8: fernando p9: franco p10: alex  p11: ollie p12: yuki p13: pierre p14: nico p15: lance p16: daniel  p17: lando p18: valtteri p19: zhou p20: esteban 

oh ho ho but we werent done yet. because pierre gasly got disqualified from qualifying. for failing fuel flow regulations. and lewis was going to have to start from the pit lane for changing his power unit. 

everyone, and by everyone i mean oscar max and checo, pretty much said that charles was going to get pole no matter what, they knew this coming in and the best they were trying for was second

onto the race. 

notably, this is considered a checo track. this was one of the three races that max did not win last year. because checo won it. its a track that he does well on, evidenced by the fact that he qualified above max in qualifying. so people were expecting big things from him.

and so, we head into lap 1.

charles managed to hang onto the lead. checo passed carlos straight out of the gate for third and max managed to pass george to take fifth. lando had managed to get ahead of nico and up into 13th. notably, franco held onto 8th and ollie was able to hold onto tenth. 

someone who was not doing well was lance stroll, who came on the radio saying that he had a puncture. this was from contact with yuki. lance had to pit for fresh tires and was pretty immediately thrown to the back of the grid. 

by lap 2 lando had managed to get past daniel and was in 12th, he was trying to get past yuki next, which he managed by lap 3. yuki also lost a  spot to nico. 

also slaying in the mclaren was oscar, who took fastest lap. then charles took fastest lap.

and lewis hamilton, who had started from the pit lane, was up to 16th. already. somehow. though he was displeased with the tires, sayig that “this tire is pretty bad” over the radio. 

yuki meanwhile was clearly having a problem because he had started going very very slowly. thought the pit wall said that he had no problems. this would later turn out to be false but we will indulge them for the time being. 

franco was STILL ahead of alex albon on lap 6. STILL. 

lando on lap 8 managed to push his way into points positions, overtaking ollie bearman for 10th. though this was where things were about to slow down for him because in front of him were alex, franco and fernando, who were all very close together and would be hard to get past. 

george was back in bad luck hell as a plastic bag entered his airbox. will he ever catch a break. 

on lap 11 nico hulkenberg finally caught up with ollie bearman and passed him for 11th. 

and max’s car was not working. to potentially no one’s surprise. “i have zero bite in the car” he said. and this was probably true because checo was a whole 6.5 seconds ahead of him. insane gap. 

several pit stops later that i will not detail out because we simply do not have the time, alex albon ended up in 4th and lando ended up in fifth. and oscar was about to get undercut by checo. 

“mojo seems to be back for checo perez” harry said, correctly. 

mojo was back for him indeed. and now he was right behind lando. 

and if you will recall, according to mclaren themselves, priority at mclaren is the team first, then oscar, then lando. but oscar was ahead of lando. so what did mclaren do? 

they asked lando do hold up perez, but not compromise his own race. 

remever a long time ago when i said mclaren wouldn't have any internal drama this season? man how i was wrong.

lando managed to hold up perez for around a lap or two before he got past. this was crucial because this was during when oscar was in the pits. 

thanks to lando and the power of the papaya rules teamwork, oscar ended up coming out in 4th, only .706s ahead of checo. 

mclaren are working together everyone! mclaren are working together!

meanwhile, turns out that yuki did indeed have problems because he retired on lap 17 with a hole in his sidepod from the contact with lance on lap 1. this was now two races in a row where he had had to retire for reasons out of his control. 

several more people pitted. and eventually charles was back out in front, oscar was in p2. until he wasn't. no, he didn't dnf. he overtook charles! he was in p1! he popped out of nowhere! nowhere being 2 car lengths back and just flooring it to spring around charles like a little silly slinky! karun called it a “good, fair and robust defense,” which sounds like its descibing notes in wine. but this was not wine. this was the baku gp. and we were only half done. 

ollie bearman was defending against lewis hamilton, holding on tightly to 14th place. 

charles was still behind oscar and he could not get past, despite the fact that he was still very much in spitting distance. “they are pushing like crazy or they have more grip than us” he said. 

carlos got past both lando and alex albon and was up into 4th

this brought max up behind lando. max was on 11 lap old tires and lando was on 24 lap old tires. but lando still defended like hell and managed to hold onto sixth. max was 0.632 seconds behind lando on lap 25 when he said that “my brakes are not working.” this was hardly a surprise. max has hated the car since china.

also experiencing technical difficulties was sir lewis hamilton. he was stuck down in 14th and was first told to do “everything you can do to get the surface temp down” of the tires. he said “im trying” then several laps later on lap 29 he came on the radio to say “are you seeing how i have to drive this thing?” “yes,” bono, his engineer said. “quite effective though.” 

max was still half a second behind lando. mclaren faked a pit stop call over the radio to get max to pit. he did not. 

but, george russell did manage to pass him. which was “not good for max’s world champion aspirations.”

this was also when ted very bafflingly said that “if i had a sofa in the pit lane i would be jumping up and down on it” im not sure what that was in response to. 

meanwhile, ollie was still holding off sir lewis hamilton. and charles was trying to get oscar to pit again by lying over the radio. it was not working. 

lando did a pit stop finally and came out a whole 15 second behind max. he was hoping to catch max by the end of the race. but it might be tight. lets go last lap lando. 

“lando, imagine andrea on your shoulder saying ‘zero wheel spin’ in every exit,” lando’s race engineer said. if you're confused, everyone else was too. 

10 laps to go and here were the order of affairs:

oscar

+.449s charles +1.865s checo +2.989s carlos +16.530s george  +1.909s max +11.535s lando +9.715s fernando +2.589s alex +2.451s nico +4.667s franco +1.590s lewis +1.261s ollie +1.791s pierre +9.205s daniel +23.919s esteban  +.789s lance +3.862s valtteri +3.631s guanyu 

lando was determined. he took fastest lap on lap 43 and was 8.8s behind max

at this point, the leaders were starting to lap the cars in the back. “the back markers are starting to come up,” checo’s engineer said to him. “its going to get messy.”

“hold onto your hats and if you don't have one go get one and hold onto it” harry said. harry would turn out to be correct. 

we had the top 3 all running very close to eachother, that was oscar, charles and checo and “welcome to the party carlos sainz!” who was now 1.2 seconds behind checo in the four way battle for the lead.

definitely not leading was lance stroll, who retired on lap 47 with a brake problem. 

oscar managed to pull ahead of charles by 1.5 seconds, finally knocking him out of DRS range. so now it was a three way battle for second. and charles had “no rear tires. no rear tires at all.” 

and, just like i said he would, lando managed to pass max on lap 49. he was closing the gap slowly in the championship. 

“verstappen’s day goes from bad to worse,” harry said. because lando still had fastest lap, so he would score 3 more points than max. which is important if lando wants to beat max in the championship (though i think hes still like 60 points behind)

meanwhile! franco managed to pass nico hulkenberg for 10th! he was in the points!!!! at his second race!!! 

but this was short lived because there was a crash! a big smackeroo! between carlos and checo!! checo was mad, carlos didn't know what happened. 

what happened was that carlos was trying to pass checo but checo did not move over. it was deemed an equal fault accident. both of them were utterly confused at what happened and apparently spent 20 minutes in the medical center being utterly lost and aparently saying that sometimes this sport sucks. and! contrary to what several people said! checo did not bang on carlos’s helmet after the crash. 

the crash actually caused chef's dad to have a heart attack. he is stable now.

and well. this clip of george from the post qualifying interviews definitely didnt age well:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mahir (@f1trollguy)

but! since we were a matter of a few laps from the end, this meant that the rest of the race was finished under a virtual safety car. 

which meant 

OSCAR PIASTRI WINS THE AZERBAIJAN GP

and george inherited p3! 

and on his own merit too! no safety cars, no team orders, no weird shit! 

“yes!” he whispered over the radio. 

he almost fell getting out of the car, then gave us all the “one moment” hand gesture before properly celebrating. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

he also got driver of the day! 

(this was marginally better than george russell, who said over the radio “i cant get any rubber (to pick up on his tires) all im getting is leaves”)

gunther steiner also hosted the post race interviews. which was interesting. 

george said that the most difficult part of the race was “driving full gas into a wall of carbon fiber on the penultimate lap…the vsc should have come out sooner” 

charles bashed ferrari because they didn't do any high fuel runs in practice. 

oscar was entirely pleased. “i managed to overtake and hold onto it for the next 35 laps..one of the better races of my career.” and honestly, oscar winning a race straight after mclaren basically announcing that he was their number 2 driver is nothing short of hilarious.

and! mclaren was now leading the constructors championship by 20 points! for the first time in ten years!!!!

the top three had a moment outside of the car that was filled with baffled: 

and oscar's engineer tom got to stand on the podium with him. he usually takes a selfie with oscar after each race he podiums at, but he was too excited to so george took this picture for them

(george also aparently demomished oscar in a game of uno on the plane, immediately humbling him)

george also shielded himself from the champagne on the podium

the cooldown room reacted to the crash in a very straight forward manner:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

and very quickly cause its midnight and the singapore gp starts in 8 hours, the post race, speed ran: 

-mark webber told off laura winter for thinking that oscar didn't have good tire management

-alex albon was “super happy, that's a lot of points for us” (williams finished in 7th and 8th). he cut his own interview short when ollie bearman arrived, saying “I can go, im happy to go” and then waving comically. 

-williams was so pleased with this result they blasted everyone with champagne. and they overtook alpine in the constructors championship! this was also their best race finish all season

-(and a quick note, if youre going to really blame logan for being that shit of a driver here, please remember that the car he was driving was several rounds of upgrades behind alex's pretty much the entire time he was driving it)

-ollie became the first driver to ever score points in his first two races for two different constructors because the double dnf pushed him up to 10th place. he said that there was not much difference between the haas and the ferrari, the ferrari was just red

-franco continued to charm everyone and flirt with the reporters. 

-they interviewed george and lewis and the camera had to be adjusted for george's height. it was comical and resulted in my favorite edit so far of the season (sound on)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝖦𝗈𝗈𝖽. 𝖠𝗅𝗅 𝖶𝖺𝗒𝗌. (@f1foryou1)

-lando looked pleased and happy for once. he said about holding off checo that “i didn't hold him up i just had to cool my tires a little.” he was delighted to be leading the constructors for the first time in ten years and he defended alex albon saying “i struggled to get past alex for a while, which is common, alex doesnt make mistakes.” he also ratted on max for going to fast during the VSC and said “i didn't complain, facts were stated.” and to sum it all up he said that “im executing things well, i’m very quick…i’m not going to be the happiest guy, but i am never the happiest guy….car is performing well everywhere…some red cars behind us seem to be our biggest competitors right now” 

-by comparison george insulted all of pirelli. the tire people. “pretty infuriating that it (the pace) changes this so much….its black magic, people who make the tires don't understand the tires…..for 20 laps we had a car not worthy of points and for 20 laps we had a car fighting for victory and the only difference is the tires.” 

-lewis was notably upset after the race and walked through the paddock with his helmet on, not wanting to talk to anyone. but he did talk to franco and ollie and congratulate them on a job well done defending against him and racing against him. franco even fangirled over this on his instagram. 

-charles was clearly upset with ferrari. he was so upset he posted a thirst trap.

-and oscar. oscar was very happy this afternoon. and his mom was there! she doesnt usually come cause it scares her, but nicole was there today! 

-mclaren celebrated with a hell of a lot of champagne. both oscar’s wina and lando’s insane recovery, and the fact that they were leading the championship. red bull have been dethroned, at least for now. 

-there was so much champagne that lando took off his socks to spray it. all seems well at mclaren. 

-at least one thing is for sure, oscar had a better time here this weekend than last year when he got food poisoning and only ate four pieces of toast

and with that. we head into singapore. quite literally as it is starting in a few hours. again, i apologixe about this post. its a little sad, but the next one will be better. pinkly promise. 

see you all soon!!!

[lafaiette]

I've seen some people ask for comparisons between Pen's Chinese and English lines, so I made a small compilation to show the biggest changes that most baffled me.

There is a kind Chinese player, Yu, who offered the fandom much of the info and insight contained in this post, and she was the first to shed light on these differences! Without her enthusiasm, I doubt people would have started investigating Pen's original lines ;_;

Under the read more because this is long!

Brief premise: the Chinese dialogues in the game are often less "harsh" than the English ones. For example, Qi can sound rude and condescending in English, while he's pretty polite, if not a bit aloof, in Chinese. Justice's lines in English rely on the typical "hey pardner" cowboy accent, while in Chinese he's very professional, almost overly so.

That said, the English writer who worked on Pen made it no mystery that he based his characterization of Pen on Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. There is even a line directly referencing the movie: "[...] when I was a boy I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large. Now that I'm grown I have five dozen eggs [...]"

As such, English Pen sounds much different from Chinese Pen. He's more patronizing and rude, and the writer added stuff that it's simply not present in the Chinese text. So while in English Pen can sound like a knucklehead obsessed only with muscles and training, surrounded by adoring women and fans when in Duvos, in Chinese he shows a different, almost more innocent side, as if he were a very tall and big child who has never had a day of legitimate and healthy fun in his life (and that's carried across in some of the English lines - that's why his English version is a bit contradicting sometimes).

Here are some examples:

One of his lines as a Good Friend is:

Here it's implied that Pen gives the Builder a hard time not only to push them to improve themselves... but also because he likes doing it, referencing his friendship mission where he admits he doesn't like teaching people anything, he just wants to fight them.

Meanwhile, the Chinese version says:

I keep calling you a weakling just to urge you and encourage you to exercise hard and break through your limits. If you won't have me to protect you in the future, you will have to become an eagle for me!

Here "eagle" is a reference to the way Pen calls the Builder in Chinese: 小弱鸡 "little weakling/little chicken" - and the latter is a rude way to call someone in Chinese, especially if they are a man and the "chicken" character (鸡) is repeated twice (but 鸡 by itself is also slang for "female prostitute"... so if you want to read it that way, Pen can call the Builder "my little slut" when in a relationship. HEH.)

In any case the tone in this line of dialogue is much different from the one in English, and Pen sounds genuinely enthusiastic.

Another example:

At the start of the game, Pen asks the Builder to craft a Sword and Shield for Burgess, who apparently misplaced his own. It turns out Burgess hid them under his bed, so when the Builder tries to give the weapons they crafted to Pen, he will tell them to keep them.

As usual, the English version is mocking and patronizing ("Hah! That'd be rich!"). In the Chinese version, Pen first compliments the desert:

In this case, take it back and use it for yourself! Use it to explore the desert and fight those monsters - what a thrill! The desert is very dangerous, but it is also full of charm.

Then there is the line about Logan and his band:

Hey! Maybe you can still find traces of Logan's gang! If you subdue them, you will gain both fame and fortune! [Okay, see you next time] [not shown here]

Now, some romance stuff : >

This is the description for the Robo-Love Couch. In English it says:

Meanwhile the Chinese description:

Referred to as the "Love Sand Machine", Peng Hu specially built a loving sofa for you, pieced together from the remains of robot monsters in the ruins.

He specially built a loving sofa for the Builder. It seems like a silly detail, but wording is important!

And yes, Pen's full name is Peng Hu, 彭虎. Peng is his family name, Hu his birth name. Hu 虎 means "tiger", and now you can understand why Grace suspected him to be Tiger the spy. But that would have been too easy!

Peng 彭 is a common Chinese surname. Its original meaning is believed to be "sound of war drums" (sad implication), but it's also used as an adjective to mean "big". So Pen's full name can mean "big tiger" :D

Back to the couch! Lines are different during the date in Paradise Lost, too.

Come on, little weakling, come and sit next to me. Let's give this trophy a "kiss of victory"! Do you do this with everyone you date? Wait, it seems I'm regretting it a bit... Happiness comes too suddenly...... (Kiss Peng Hu)

In the English version, the Builder can ask "How many of these thrones have you built...?", implying that Pen has had so many lovers he can craft this couch in a matter of few seconds. But in Chinese, the Builder's question is much different, it's more like: "Damn, are you always so over the top when dating someone??"

One of the biggest differences is in this set of lines:

Okay.

Meanwhile, in Chinese:

Today's experience made me realize that love has used a deadly locking technique on both of our hearts. Let me no longer doubt the feelings between us. This love is true love! Now, I am even more unwilling to take my eyes away from you! Haha!

I MEAN.

Also, in Chinese Pen never mentions the infamous 12 girlfriends when the Builder and Grace question him in jail. Yu confirmed that throughout the game Pen doesn't brag about his love life or his popularity with women, probably also due to the negative way Chinese culture sees this kind of "bragging".

Not only Pen and many other characters are younger in Chinese Sandrock (Pen's age ranges from 25 to 27, while he's confirmed to be 31 in the English localization), but he's depicted as being not very experienced in relationships in general. He basically only knows how to fight, punch people, and destroy stuff. Anything else - having friends, being with someone who truly loves him and whom he truly loves, having a normal life - are something he never experienced before. He did date (see his final letter later), but he's not described being the Casanova of Duvos like he is in the English version. In fact, it seems people only liked him due to his body and status, and a remnant of this piece of characterization is left in the English text when he says:

Surely, you understand… I am quite the prize. I can’t take myself off the market just to become arm candy for you to show off at your little buildy guild awards or whatever it is! No, what I desire… is true love…

Furthermore,

In Chinese, he says during the Masterclass friendship mission: "To be honest, I never thought I'd be able to make friends, let alone with someone of your stature/body size! But here we are, with a sick relationship!"

In English: "You know, Skinny, I’ve never had someone I really considered a friend before. Furthermore, I always promised myself I’d never be friends with anyone who didn’t have an awesome cape, but… you made me break that promise."

"I never thought I'd be able to make friends" is different from "I’ve never had someone I really considered a friend before." In the first line, the focus is on Pen ("I don't know how to make friends; I'm not good at it; it's not for me; how do you do it?"), in the second it's on other people ("I've been surrounded by people all my life, but I don't consider any of them to be a friend of mine; yeah, I call this one 'friend', but... they are not really really a friend")

The Chinese line is much sadder, and it shows how lonely Pen's life has been. One of his main characteristics, after all, is being "special", "the strongest", "different from everyone else"; but more often than not, being special and different also mean being "lonely". ("I must say it gets lonely at the top… What I wouldn't give for a truly talented opponent who could really keep me on my toes! Alas...")

And now, the grand finale :'>

A screenshot from Yu's playthrough, Pen's final line:

Farewell, Yu. This time it's for real. You're free.

The Protector, the bracelet Pen will leave for the Builder in the cave, is called "Guardian of Love" (爱的守卫者) in Chinese. Its description says:

A very delicate bracelet that protects the wearer's wrist. Wearing it gives the wearer a feeling of being emotionally confined. Perhaps this feeling is similar to what Peng Hu often said, "Marriage is a boring bondage".

His letter in Chinese is also sweeter and sadder:

最近在这所谓的阿塔拉最高监狱，我也多了点时间思考，没法带你一起来陪我，多少有些遗憾。罢了，这事也怪���。不管怎么说，你也算是我交往过的恋人里最让我上心的，也是为数不多分手之后我还继续挂念的。所以，我打算原谅你了。对——我原谅你了。我想我们也没有机会再在一起了，你也不过是做了你那个位置该做的事，没什么值得抱怨的。我应该一开始就努力把你“招安”了，让你跟我一起，才是最妥当的做法。当然我也没怨你，你确实很优秀。我还留了个最后的挑战给你。在某个遗迹里，有我最宝贵的几样东西，如果你能拿到，就归你了。运用我教给过你的一招半式，要去到那里应该很容易。我亲爱的小弱鸡，这是我最后一次这样叫你了，我相信你的能力。记住，不要怠慢了训练。我们，后会无期。

Dear [name], I've had a little more time to think lately in this so-called Atara Maximum Prison, and I'm more than a little sorry that I couldn't bring you along to accompany me. Well, it's my fault. Anyway, you are still the most beloved lover I have ever been with, and one of the few that I continue to miss even after a breakup. So, I'm going to forgive you. Yeah - I forgive you.I don't think there's a chance we'll ever be together again. You're just doing what you're supposed to do in your position, so there's nothing to complain about. I should have tried my best to recruit you from the beginning, and it would have been the best way to keep you with me. Of course I don't blame you, you're indeed excellent. I also left you a final challenge. In some ruins, there are a few of my most valuable things, and if you can get them, they're yours. It should be easy to get there, using the tricks I've taught you. My dear little weakling, this is the last time I'll call you that, I believe in your abilities. Remember, don't slack off on your training. We won't meet again. (but 后会无期 can also mean "meeting at an unspecified/unclear date")

And finally, if romanced, Pen will leave for the Builder 5 pieces of gold, 2 diamonds, and 1 Protector. 521 (and 520) are a cute way to say "I love you" in Chinese, because when read aloud they sound like "我爱你, Wo ai ni, "I love you". But in some cases, 521 also means "Yes, I will [marry you]" - and Pen does drop a diamond ring after his final battle (apparently he drops it only if you romanced him, but it's unclear yet. I'm pretty sure he didn't drop it during my Fang playthrough, while he did drop it when I romanced him, but I'll need to check that).

WELP, this is pretty much everything I got on this! If the kind Yu will tell us more or I find anything else, I'll update this post!

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Scared

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: ANGST, big feels, hurt comfort, possession?, hurling insults at each other, Astarion being a little scary, fluff ending

---------------------------------

“How could you!” Astarion shouted.

“How could I? It’s a book Astarion, it's not that deep.” you said, rolling your eyes at him. “Knowledge is for all, not just you.” you snapped at him. 

“I’m not upset you read it, I’m upset you took it from me without asking.” he corrected you in a harsh tone. 

“I didn’t think it was a problem, you told me I could borrow books…” you looked at him with confusion.

“Not that one! The Necromancy of Thay is not just some book.” he looked at you with disbelief. How could you be so naive and reckless? 

“I’m a fucking cleric Astarion! Magic is kinda my whole purpose!” your dedication to Kelemvor was unquestionable and he was debating you about this? This book that could grant you a gift that Kelemvor had not? Speaking to the dead would be a godsend as clergy for the god of the dead, traveling across Faerun to gods know where. 

“Do you understand the danger of that book? No, you don’t, because you're a petulant child who steals others toys when they can’t have them. All you do is take!” he yelled.

You froze. That was a real insult. This wasn’t a little spat anymore, this was a fight. Your first fight in the whole 10 months together. Your heart cracked a bit, but you filled with fire at his harshness. 

“I take? I borrowed a book for a few hours. You literally take my fucking blood out of me daily. Do you know what that feels like over time? It hurts.” your voice wavered slightly but you held strong. 

“But you were oh so willing as long as I was fucking you while I did it!” that was dirty and untrue and he knew it. He said the most hateful thing he could think of and he knew it would cut you deeply.

Your eyes widened, your mouth hung open. “You think this is about sex?.... You conceited jackass! This is about me being in pain for weeks on end and you being too oblivious to see it. Maybe I am nothing more to you than dinner.” you laughed to yourself, the absolute arrogance of this man had you baffled. 

Astarion marched towards you, his face was unfamiliar. All scrunched up in a way you had never seen directed at you. His crimson eyes were practically glowing with rage. He pushed you back so you were trapped between the desk and his arms. He put his face near yours, he sounded like an animal. The growl in his voice sends a shiver down your spine. “Maybe I should drain you dry…” he nestled his face into the crook of your neck, fangs barely grazing your neck. 

You whimpered and tears flowed down your face. You were legitimately scared. Astarion always asked before he bit you. Yet here he was, threatening to drain you with his fangs at your throat. Your body shook and you let out a sob, trying desperately not to move as you knew his fangs could tear you apart. 

The sob was what cleared his mind. As soon as he heard it all the anger in him disappeared and he just felt sad. He had never seen you cry and the fact that you were now, because of him, it devoured him from inside. He backed up two paces, you flinched when he moved so quickly and it was like a shard of ice into his heart to know he scared you.

“Darling I… I’m sorry… I wasn’t going to… I didn’t mean to scare you” he said, holding his arms out in front of him, surrendering to you. 

You pushed yourself against the desk, desperate to be away from him. Your arms crossed your chest, holding yourself. “Please… don’t hurt me…” you mumbled. He saw the fear in your eyes. 

“I would never…” he said, his eyes were big and round and yet you were terrified. “Please my love, I don’t know what came over me…” he looked at his new ring, it was glowing a soft red.

You looked to where his eyes were, you immediately recognized the ring. The Circle of Malum. It brought out the wearers worst emotions, and turned them cold. Hostile; in exchange for great strength and cunning wisdom. “Take that off…” you pointed at his ring, still too afraid to touch him. 

“What?” he questioned, sounding defensive.

“The ring is changing you Astarion… You’re not yourself…please love…” you spoke out in a hushed tone, still nervous. 

Love. You still loved him? How strange he thought. He looked between you and the ring before flinging it off his finger. It felt as if it was burning him once he knew the truth of its devious exchange. “Little love… I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean anything I said… I was so angry I - I… I felt out of control.” 

You looked deep into his eyes. No malice, not a single hint of irritation. You saw fear and love, both of which were directed at you. You cautiously moved towards him, hands gently reaching for his face. You tilted his chin up, looking into his eyes. All you could see was the guilt on his face and the sorrow that was radiating off of him. “It's ok, you're ok.” you whispered.

He nodded before he pulled you into a hug. A few stray tears of his landed on your shoulder. You stayed like that for a while. 

“I love you…” he whispered with a small smile. 

You wiped the last of the tears from under his eyes before kissing his cheeks. You glanced down at his lips, his eyes watching you flit back and forth. He leaned in but you closed the space. Gentle, like he was afraid of breaking you. “I love you.” you leaned your forehead against his, breathing him in. 

“Were you able to finish the book?” he asked after a few moments.

You smiled at him, such a curious little thing he was. “Yes.” 

“And?” he said, cocking an eyebrow at you.

“And… Now I can speak to the dead.” you said, pride building in you. 

“Think you can help me read it?” he asked, taking your hand. 

You kissed him quickly, “I think I can manage that.”

He smiled, for what felt like the first time in days.

--------------------------------

Naboo's Note:

Hello all! I hope this is a good one for ya! Idk I was in my angsty sad girl hours and this was the product. Hope you are all doing well <3 As always, thank your for the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests! Talk soon XOXOXOXOXXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXO!!!

[homicidal-sheep]

I will defend Eurylochus to my dying breath because what the fuck yall, he is not the malicious monster people are making him out to be?? Like these characters are so morally grey its not even funny.

I love Ody with all my heart but the man did fuck up. He is human, and a plaything of the Gods, which is a very dangerous position to be in at the best of times.

I've seen people saying Eury has no moral high ground on the Scylla thing because he wanted to leave all the men at Circe's. Now firstly, I highly doubt a simple scouting mission would include all the men (see Cyclops saga, when only a fraction went). So they would be running to save what men remained, not ditching the entire army. Secondly, what exactly did you want them to do when facing Circe? They didn't know Hermes was there. All they knew was there was a magic lady who could turn people into pigs. So what, were they gonna ask really really nicely? Somehow I highly doubt that would work. Without the Gods intervention, I just don't see them winning. Eury was cutting their losses because from his POV, there was quite literally nothing they could do for the men. Best case scenario they snuck the men/pigs out and, idk, kept them as pets??

As for the wind bag, yeah it was a really dumb decision. But Ody is the one who decided not to trust his men, especially Eury. Ody has already given up on the crew, and they likely feel that distrust. Why should they put their blind faith in a man who refuses to clue them in? Why should they believe that he has whats best for them in their hearts? Ody's own guilt caused him to embrace an ideology that got a bunch of them killed. (remember when he said the only one who's lines he hasn't crossed were his own?) And we can see some of this growing resentment in Perimedes cut song. We as viewers have context the men simply do not.

Sidenote, people say Eury would have gotten them lotus'd. Yeah maybe. or maybe Ody would have recognized the fruit before they ate it, like he did with Polites. We cannot know.

The other point I keep seeing, that I find absolutely baffling is "well they deserved to die for mutinying, they should have listened to their king and captain" I'm sorry when did we all become monarchists. Kings and captains can absolutely make bad decisions? We should not blindly trust authority?? Yeah Eury kept questioning the captain. He was second in command and the voice of the crew, not only is he voicing their discontent, I'd argue that a good king should have someone who is willing to disagree with them. While Ody is right, that in the middle of a dire situation isn't great, and it would have been better to address those issues in private, they are very legitimate worries. If your captain has admitted he would burn the world to see his son and wife, I think being a little worried is absolutely fair.

The Gods keep appearing and helping Ody but they are also incredibly dangerous beings who constantly play with the lives of mortals.

On to the cow thing. Ya it was fucking dumb. But I can understand why. The man is fucking tired. They don't see a way out and at that point, starving to death slowly, so desperately afraid, probably sounded like a terrifying fate. Better to get it over with.

And he still cares! Ody is his literal brother in law. They bandaged his wounds when they could have idk, sacrificed him to Posideon or something. What Ody did to them was 100% betrayal and I understand why they mutinied, with what information they had. For petes sake he kept singing "I need to get home", I, not we.

Again, I love Ody, but good lord, the man is the definition of an unreliable narrator. Let them all be complicated, tragic characters without labeling them as cookie cutter good guys and bad guys.

[frozenjokes]

cubfan135 and zombiecleo tell mumbo jumbo to kill himself

please refer to ao3 for a more detailed tw regarding (temporary, unrelated to mental health) suicide

LOOP N4

With Scar being borderline unbearable for such a long amount of time, Cub was learning to get around him by creating fake tasks that absolutely needed to be done with utmost haste by only Scar.

Scar wanted to be helpful, but he had a way a being helpful that made both Cub and Cleo want to snap his neck, so it was generally unproductive to say the least. Neither of them wanted to talk to Scar about it; Cub would rather just murder Scar and Cleo seemed convinced this was a passing phase. While the intensity of Scar’s overbearing nature did feel as though it was beginning to lessen, he was still clingy and edgy and a pain in the ass 95% of the time. But they were stuck with him, no way out of it, so they had to make due. Cleo was convinced that if they managed not to dismember Scar for long enough, he would eventually calm down, and while Cub was not used to exercising so much self control, Cleo was smarter than him about these kinds of things.

So that was that. Cub would entertain himself crafting wild goose chases for Scar to go on (which, admittedly, was quite a bit of fun), and Cub and Cleo would bide their time as they continued their walkthrough, working through the necessities. Currently they were in the control room, combing the entire thing for potential traps and noting down possible clues for later, each in their own separate sphere, unspeaking. Cub missed these comfortable silences between them; Scar wasn’t the most talkative of guys in his current state of mind, but he had a way of ruining the air of a room, turning the quiet to static with those wild, neurotic eyes. Especially now. Especially now. Cub hoped he got better soon, he really had trouble watching what he said. God knows he was never bringing up food in front of Scar ever again.

But it was fine. It was fine. Time is damn good medicine, and soon enough Scar would stop fretting over his planet and that horrid phone call he’d shared with his folks.

Then the main screen lit up. Someone was.. someone was calling.

The action legitimately startled Cub; no one called, EVER, he and Cleo only had one opportunity to do so a week, and it made no sense for that call to come from the outside. Most of their time was spent in the safe room; they wouldn’t even know if someone was trying to reach them. Better to say what you have to say when the prisoners were ready to speak to you anyway; they both had their fair share of bad days, even if Cleo rarely missed a call home. Cub rarely bothered, so she could take advantage of his time most weeks.

Cleo answered it before Cub had finished processing. The black and white cat from before; Scar’s same species, stared back at them, equally baffled looking.

“Hello? Oh.. Is this a bad time? Is Scar around, do you know? I wanted to talk to him, I think- Oh, I’m being rude, aren’t I.. Mumbo. I’m Mumbo. You can understand me, right? Oh dear, maybe not. You’re looking at me like your can’t understand me. Oh goodness.” Mumbo turned suddenly, looking offscreen, “What?”

Someone out of frame spoke.

“There’s subtitles, oh, well good. Do.. are there subtitles on our end? Can they speak to me?” … “..No..? Ah, well that’s probably okay. Listen-“

Cleo hung up, rigid. “Scar can’t know.” Stiffly, Cub nodded. This could only be a bad thing; Scar’s folks calling him just to chew him out would reset all the progress they’d made! That couldn’t happen. Cub could not endure any more Crazy Eyes Scar than absolutely necessary.

And then the call sounded again. Cleo answered and hung up, immediately. Again, Mumbo called.

“How many damn calls is Scar allowed!?” they shrieked, and Cub felt a similar panic bubbling in his chest, whipping his head towards the two doors.

“I sent him away twenty minutes ago- He’ll be back soon-“

“No.” When Mumbo called a fourth time, Cleo answered, hissing, “Stop calling you twerpy shitass motherfucker! Get out of here! Shut up!”

“Oh dear..” Mumbo scratched the back of his ears, shifting, “You’re angry.. I guess I understand, but I really-“

“No-!” Cub started, an attempt to continue what Cleo had done, but he hadn’t planned for this, he had no pre-written insults handy. Well, there were always the classics. “Die. Die. Kill yourself. Die. Kill yourself kill yourself die die die.”

“Yeah!” Cleo rallied, making Cub feel a modicum less pathetic. “Kill yourself! Get out of here! We don’t want you here!”

“I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you-“

Cleo laughed at that, but it didn’t look like Mumbo could tell, sufficiently mortified despite not knowing what either of them were saying.

“Listen, please, I know you don’t like me, I saw you when I- when Scar and I talked, but I just want to smooth things out with him, alright? He’s not- will you stop it with the noise-“ Mumbo snapped at Cub, whose onslaught hadn’t stopped, and was now being encouraged to continue, “He’s not a bad guy and I- I just need to talk to him.”

Cleo snapped their fingers in Cub’s face, shutting him up. “This isn’t working. We don’t have time to pray this stops, so we’ll have to nip this bud at the source.” They stopped, side eyeing the screen, “Maybe this guy’ll get the message then.”

“Kill Scar you mean? Damn. This was a good run so far.”

“Don’t act like you mind it,” Cleo scoffed, and as always she was correct.

Cub continued without acknowledgment. “Should one of us stay? One of us go look for him? Either way we’ll be able to stop him before he sees too much.”

“No.” Cleo glanced up at Mumbo, who was looking distressed by how clear it was neither of them were paying any attention to him. “We both wait here, one of us by each door. Make the first shot count, then unload your gun on him, really make it graphic. Then, if he’s still around, he can watch us kill ourselves. No one will call back after that.”

“Shit. That’s awesome. This guy’s about to have his damn life ruined.”

Cleo preened. “That’s the hope. Let’s just make sure he doesn’t hang up prematurely.” She turned to an increasingly frustrated looking Mumbo as she backed toward the left door, and Cub went to the right, not bothering to lend Mumbo any sort of attention.

“I- Are you leaving?” There was distress there, Mumbo’s ears pinned and four hands anxiously fidgeting. “Please don’t go, I really want to work this out. Even if- Even if you don’t cooperate, if he’s busy or sleeping or you just won’t retrieve him just.. Tell him he’s not stupid. You don’t even have to say it was from me, just tell him he’s not- Scar isn’t stupid. He thinks he is, and Wastes knows he’s got a whole other host of problems but he’s- he’s not stupid. I said it and I really- I wish I hadn’t, please tell him he’s not stupid.” Mumbo drew two paws over his ears and down his face, shaking his head, “He isn’t even selfish, that’s the thing! Not any more than the rest of us!”

Mumbo started to pace, “He’s not selfish! He’s not! He’s just negligent! Criminally negligent! I want to call him lazy but I don’t even know if that’s true he just- argh! If he doesn’t care about something it isn’t happening! Do you know how many problems that causes? That’s why we’re angry! But I’m not- I’m not even angry anymore, it just bothers me to know that he thinks he’s stupid when intelligence has nothing to do with the actual problem! But that’s- that’s not relevant right now. He’s going to be gone for years, and we can work it through when he’s home. He knows he fucked up. He knows. Being unable to continue working is punishment enough I’m sure, it might even kick his ass into gear and..”

Mumbo sighed, long and hard. “It wasn’t just his fault. As much as Grian wants to believe it, that’s just not true. I should have stuck to my guns. I let him push on, I doubted myself. I recognized that ship. I knew what to look for, humans make them all the same for a reason. I just.. I don’t know. You get desperate. Truly, if anyone was going to kill and extract human prisoners from a ship like that, I think it’d probably be Scar. Isn’t that crazy? Grian thinks so. He’s just angry. Bitter. Hu-“ Mumbo cut himself off with a harsh shake of his head. “Stupid. Can’t let anything go. I think that’s stupidity, I’ll tell you.”

“Damn,” Cub mumbled, half absently, “Y’know, I don’t actually think this guy is that much of an asshole. Not great, but.”

Cleo shrugged. “Shame. Too bad he’s gonna get a lot to think about in a minute.”

“Do you feel bad?”

Cleo scoffed. “Like, guilty? No. I don’t care what this guy’s intentions are, I am not risking any more horrorshow Scar than necessary.” They eyed him, almost teasingly. “Do you feel bad?”

“Oh, no. I was just curious.” And that was true. True enough that when Cleo made a skeptical hmm noise, Cub bristled, though they waved him off.

“I believe you. God knows I’m stunted enough to do something like this and get a full night’s sleep after.”

“I find it hard to care about other people,” Cub mumbled, and the words came so completely out of nowhere that it startled him internally.

“I know,” Cleo didn’t miss a beat, and Cub believed them, it frightened him a little that he could believe that they knew, even when this was something he’d failed to consider about himself before, at least enough to bring it to words. “Does that bother you?” The question was gentle, so kind it ached.

“I don’t know.”

Cub was suddenly aware of Mumbo’s silence, he was watching them, and there was a longing there, like he could tell they were deliberating about something and just hoping things would turn out in his favor.

And the the right door started to open, Cub’s door, and he shot Scar twice in the head, nearly point blank to the point where there was very little left to shoot, and then, catching Scar as he fell, unloaded the rest of the bullets into Scar’s chest, blood and viscera flying back into Cub’s face. Vaguely, he was aware of a screech from the speakers and he dropped Scar’s body, the sound of it hitting the floor loud and wet and surely audible over the connection. He looked up. He felt the muzzle of Cleo’s gun against his head. He never found out if Mumbo stayed to witness her bring it to her own chin.

LOOP N4 B

There was not much to say until Scar arrived, ear moving every which direction, whiskers twitching, wary and nervous, reasonably. Cub was certain Scar had no idea what had happened, dead too quickly.

“Uh..” Maybe Scar was put off by the quiet, by Cub and Cleo still in bed, neither moving to stand. “What happened? Did I trigger something?”

“Nope. Cleo tripped.” Cub wasn’t sure why he’d spoken, he hadn’t come up with a lie.

“What?” Scar said, quickly parroted by an offended Cleo.

“What? Please Cub, enlighten us on what happened.” Ah, that wasn’t good. Cub would bet anything Cleo had thought up a cover story, they were smart like that, but maybe Cub was a little on edge and had piped up without thinking. Wouldn’t have been the first time.

“Uh. Cleo tripped and the ship blew up.”

“Again?” Scar shrieked, not hearing Cleo snort behind him, “But I- I checked all the tiles! You told me to check! None of them had any symbols or anything! Unless I- oh, I must have missed one or got distracted or-“

“No.” Cub cut him off, “Button. In the control room. Self destruct button. We knew it was there but you were gone when we found it. Forgot to tell you. Cleo tripped and hit it. Her fault.”

“Okay, Cub-“ Cleo growled, speaking in the type of way that told Cub his life was going to be over very soon, “You know, it’s true though, I’ve been feeling awfully clumsy lately.” Cleo drew their gun, Cub looking on mildly.

“Man. Hope your aim is better with vertigo than without.” Seven shots being fired in quick succession made it so aim was not so big of an issue. And the eighth shot from Scar made it so that bleeding out and/or many of the other complications being shot brought forth were not of any concern.

Cleo frowned. That didn't feel good. They huffed to themself, shaking their head. Stupid. Tossing their gun over their shoulder, they flopped back down in bed, stewing. She wasn’t sure why she was so pissed off, and she didn’t like to be. She liked a lot less that her first reaction to this kind of anger was to empty her gun into the nearest perpetrator, but she supposed that was a problem for Future Cleo. It would be nice if fires like this didn’t burn so hot so fast.. they didn’t used to.

Out of all the things Cleo was prepared to happen to them when they were shipped off to space, rage problems weren’t one of them. They used to be so patient. They were a teacher, they taught kids. They liked kids. Even with pain, and they’d known pain, it never really made her angry, not to this extreme. She wasn’t- she wasn’t an angry person. Not before. Now, just about anything could set her off.

“I don’t like when you guys do that..” Scar. Oh, and that pissed her off.

“Check back in when you’ve lived alone with him for five years, I’ll be more open to criticism.”

Scar backed down. Cleo was facing the other way, she didn’t see or hear him do anything, but she knew, she’d been around him long enough to tell. In their mind’s eye, they could see the way Scar’s ear turned, brow creased, tail lowered, and they didn’t like that. They didn’t want that. They weren’t used to someone who didn’t fight back.

“Sorry,” she said, gruffer than she’d intended. “I just hate his guts sometimes. I love him, but I hate his fucking guts, y’know?”

“I know. He’s mean to you.”

“He’s not.. he’s fine.”

“He’s mean. One mistake and I wish I never asked. I don’t like it when he’s an asshole to you. You don’t even deserve all the flack for that, it was an accident, and I think we all know who the most accident prone person here is. I’m a walking hazard, if I know anything it’s that.”

“You’re fine, Scar. Cub’s fine too, I just overreact and shoot him over it. Feels good for a second, but then it’s gone. It’s immature. He doesn’t do that to me.”

“What? He tries to kill you constantly.”

Cleo chuckled, a joyless sound. “That’s different. He doesn’t do it because he’s pissed off at me. Most of the time.” Scar crossed all four of his arms, which was an extremely silly thing to see when Cleo turned to face him. She’d never seen him do that before; had he picked it up from her?

“You both kill each other and you’re both assholes to each other. You both do it.”

Cleo grunted dismissively, “It’s whatever.”

Scar was quiet for so long that Cleo expected him to have dropped it, but he straightened, apparently finding his nerve. “I don’t like it.”

Cleo gazed at him through narrowed lids, but Scar did not waver, did not back down. Heavily, Cleo sighed through her nose. “I don’t like it either.”

[oneinathousand]

I recently found a pdf of an alleged Blood Meridian movie script written by a guy named William Monahan for Ridley Scott's attempt to make the movie, and let me tell ya, it is truly something else. At first, I refused to believe that it could be real because of some atrocious dialogue and truly baffling changes from the novel. I thought that it MUST have either been written as a prank or it was an amateur trying to pass it off as real, but on Twitter I talked to the guy who leaked the script online in the first place and now I'm more inclined to think that, unfortunately, it was legitimate.

Below are screenshots of some of the worst parts. You'll notice that a lot of the text is in red, but I think it must have been somebody on the Cormac McCarthy forums, where this comes from, highlighting some of the differences from the book, but this was the only pdf I could find so whatever. I also put in a few handwritten notes to express my frustration haha.

If you want to look at the full thing yourself, you can find it here, but I should warn you in advance that on top of the usual Blood Meridian type of violence that you would expect, the screenwriter also put in a sprinkle of random homophobia and underage sex which was NOT in the book and I will be showing those screenshots last with another warning so you know where they are in the script and can avoid it if you want to.

Okay, this part gave me a chuckle. Maybe it's not the best time for a joke from the Judge, though:

These next two come from the ending, which, if you were already aware of this script's existence, you probably heard about because it's the most infamous part. For those who don't know, the screenwriter decides to put in a bizarrely happy ending where the Kid slays the Judge in the jakes and adopts Randall, the brother of the boy that the Kid killed in self-defense (and there's no significant time skip in this version, so the Kid is in his late teens at most probably):

This random fucking nugget of homophobia is on page 32 of the script. I have no idea what this was in here for since it never comes up again and the script leaves out most of the children going missing or being found dead along the way:

And here's the Kid having sex because the screenwriter in their infinite wisdom decided that was missing from the Blood Meridian experience, it's on page 70:

So yeah, good thing this particular adaptation never got made. I just picked the screenshots that were the most obviously awful, but the biggest problems with the script are a very rushed opening act that compresses a bunch of story elements and character introductions to the point of confusion plus the cringy saccharine happy ending that was part of the reason why I thought the script was a joke at first. When the script adheres closer to the book, mostly in the middle, it's not the worst thing in the world. It has a few clever bits of streamlining the book and most of the characters sound like themselves, though the biggest problem there is that the Judge feels like a different character.

Someday I hope to read other scripts trying to adapt the movie from Steve Tesich, James Franco, and Tommy Lee Jones to see how each of them tackled the book, though to my knowledge none are publicly available online, but do let me know they are somewhere and you can lead me to it. This particular effort has set the bar very low.

Most of all I want to know if Cormac McCarthy wrote a complete draft of his attempt before he died. If this latest attempt to make the movie falls through, I hope that the script, if it exists, is released to the public so we can see what would certainly be one of the last things he wrote.

[callmearcturus]

thoughts on OMITB

yeah my family mainlined the entirety of Only Murders in the Building (3 ten-episode seasons) and I have thoughts and its my blog

This show had SO MUCH AGAINST IT from the onset. I'm too old to have seen Selena Gomez's run as a teenage actor. Worse, I have never in my life found Martin Short or Steve Martin funny. I truly mean that, I have never understood the appeal and eventually just assumed they were part of the early SNL school of comedy, i.e. only every fifth joke lands.

AND THEN ON TOP OF THAT this is gonna sound ridiculous but I didn't know the premise of the show was literally and actually "three people bond over their love of True Crime Podcasts and then decide to start their own podcast about a murder in their apartment building"

I had no idea that was the pitch

I fucking hate True Crime as a genre. I am one of those people who think its a deeply dehumanizing and unethical from top to bottom. so an ENTIRE SHOW about three huge enthusiasts who then make their own?

The deck could not have been more stacked against this fucking show.

AND I DO HAVE SOME COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE SHOW. Let me get those out of the way:

god the cameos make me roll my eyes out of my head. i do not get a thrill out of people playing themselves. I find it super false and annoying. (exception: okay Sting was funny bc he hates dogs and was a legitimate suspect for the murder for like five minutes, lmao)

some of the jokes in the show have a "please clap" vibe to them, and no i will not clap. be funny or gimme more fun character drama.

is that it???

oh yeah a big one: Oliver not being bisexual is so fucking baffling and I just do not buy it.

OKAY BACK TO WHY I LOVE THIS FUCKING SHOW

this show cares so much about its characters and you can say that about a lot of shows but OMITB has two specific skills it deserves kudos for:

ONE: even tho Mabel, Oliver, and Charles are the focus of the show, all the secondary and tertiary characters are important and consistent and are brought back over and over. Like Howard, who in S1 is the Gay Cat Guy and in S2 gets multiple moments of focus for him asking a neighbor out and in S3 is in almost every episode and is Oliver's assistant. The fact the show cares enough to give non-focal characters whole arcs to go through really sells the idea of the Arconia as community of people.

TWO: THE FUCKING ABILITY OF THIS SHOW TO MAKE YOU LOVE DEEPLY FLAWED, OFTEN ASSHOLISH PEOPLE.

the fucking FLEX that is "The Last Day of Bunny Folger" holy shit. for an entire season, Bunny was this constant nuisance no one liked, then she died, and over the course of one episode that doesn't try to REDEEM her, it just shows MORE of her, I was so fucking invested. And they did the same shit with Ben Gilderoy, it's amazing.

OMITB cares so much about having COMPASSION for everyone and treating all of them like people. There is no one who is purely contemptible

another thing I love is the trio and the various dynamics

all three of them together are adorable and the way they grow to deeply love each other is great. but also the way oliver and charles drive each other nuts and needle each other <3 and how mabel and charles really CARE about trusting each other and how fast they get invested <3 but MABEL AND OLIVER i love them they are hilarious and wonderful and just heighten each other's bullshit

oh my god and the way the show lets each of them have complex backstories and working thru shit. Charles' struggle with his neuroses and years of rejection, Oliver's connection with his son and how he almost throws a case bc he's in love with Meryl Streep (fair), and Mabel being mean and distant and aloof and it all having a REASON

okay fuck this is so long, some quick hits

Theo Dimas is genuinely the best character in the show, the moment he turns to the camera and signs "People in this city talk way too much" was like the moment i was IN on the show for good. thank GOD they keep bringing him back, he's the fucking best.

NATHAN FUCKING LANE AS TEDDY DIMAS, WHAT A FUCKING PERFORMANCE, HOLY SHIT.

wow so many fucking queer people. Mabel, Howard, Jan, Jonathan, Cliff, Jerry, Sazz, Detective Williams and her wife, Alice, and i think Zoe and Uma might be but I'm not sure.

ranking of Mabel's love interests: Oscar (who is great) > Alice (who sucks) > Tobert (boringggg)

the fucking wardrooooobes

the SETS!!!!!!!!!!

selena gomez' rack in the penultimate episode of season 3 holy shit WOW those tits

CHARLES' CAREER-LONG STUNT DOUBLE IS SAZZ, A HOT LESBIAN PLAYED BY JANE LYNCH WHO DOUBLED FOR HIM EVEN IN SEX SCENES AND IS SO MAGNETIC SHE KEEPS ACCIDENTALLY STEALING HIS GIRLFRIENDS

okay i'm done, omitb is good

[smolthealmighty]

Spinaraki Week 4 Day 6: Save

A Crack in the Wall

When Kurogiri is woken from his slumber and makes a surprise appearance on the battlefield, everyone rightfully begins to panic. But he isn't the one to change the outcome of this fight, the person he drags along with him is... and he isn't even conscious!

There were many plans that had to be changed, backups to backups that were implemented, but Kurogiri’s portal appearing in the Sky Coffin and dropping a braindead Spinner onto the ground before going haywire around the area was not a “planned for” scenario.

“Yes!” gloated All For One as he watched the heroes expressions turn from determination to horror, many panicking as they got caught and relocated around the death trap by the erratic portals.

“It’s just as I’ve told you pathetic heroes, the deck is stacked in my favor!” He turned and used his ward’s power to throw yet another amorphous mass of fingers and hands at his opponents, Spinner’s unresponsive body now in his sights, “It’s always been stacked in my favor!”

And that was all the villain could say before his body suddenly burst apart.

The visual could only be likened to that of a butterfly ripping its cocoon apart, desperate to break free. And from the ruptured cocoon of All For One rose Tomura Shigaraki, liberated of his master’s possession and using his first unrestricted action to dash towards Spinner.

Still in shock from the rapid changes in fight’s pace, it took Deku a moment to spring back into action and he quickly used blackwhip as an attempt to restrain Tomura. Unfortunately, Deku seemed to have underestimated Tomura’s determination to reach his destination as he didn’t stop running and Deku was swiftly yanked off his feet and dragged along the ground, only given respite when Tomura dropped to the ground himself to pull his ally into his arms.

“Spinner what the fuck happened to you?! Say something!”

Deku unburied his face from the dirt just in time to see Tomura place his hands on his ally and… stay still and wait for something to happen?

“What are you trying to do?” Deku demanded incredulously.

“Apparently your job,” the villain snarked back as he scanned the battlefield, pausing long enough in Eraserhead’s direction for Deku to realize that his teacher had regained control and was preventing Tomura from using his quirk. Tomura snarled in frustration before whipping his head towards his former caretaker and screaming, “Kurogiri help! Block Eraserhead’s view, get him out of here! I can’t cast healing on Spinner while he’s using his quirk!”

“Healing? What healing?” Deku asked, genuinely baffled at the concept of the most destructive villain he knew having new healing abilities, “Since when could you heal?”

“Since I decided to take the overload of quirk mods out of my player 2 and switch it out with my master’s regeneration quirk until he’s freaking stable!” Tomura shrieked, his red eyes flashing with an intensity that made Deku realize this really wasn’t some weird All For One clone anymore, this was the real Tomura Shigaraki, the one he wanted to save but still had legitimate apprehensions for.

“My team doesn’t have healers, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get some kind of use out of my master’s garbage ‘quirk and vestige’ package deal. I don’t care how badly you wanna drag me backwards into the fray, you’ll either help me save my friend quickly so we can continue our fight or you’ll sit down and patiently wait for your turn to die!”

“Okay fine,” Deku agreed, “Mr. Aizawa, let Shigaraki do his thing!”

“WHAT?!” cried the dual voices of his enemy and ally.

“You want help with saving an ally, fine! But try anything else and I’ll enact every vengeful thought I’ve had about you since I saw my best friend’s body lying on the ground!”

“… Fair enough,” Tomura growled, deciding to keep a retort about how said “best friend” was literally undergoing surgery anyway to himself. He waited, and within a few moments that felt like hours, he heard the telltale sound of a warpgate whisking Eraserhead off somewhere else in tandem with the rush of his master’s quirk working to clean up the mess that was made of his closest friend.

The visual below him could only be likened to that of a reptile shedding their skin, ridding itself of dead weight and ready to start anew. And from the pile of hardened scales that had fallen off awoke Spinner, his blank eyes returning to their original rosy color as he blinked back into awareness… and then overflowing with tears as he began to sob uncontrollably.

“Sorry, ‘m sorry,” Spinner blubbered.

“Hey don’t do that, you’re fine,” Tomura soothed, carefully wiping Spinner’s tears with his usually deadly hands, “What’re you even apologizing for?”

“I tried to follow All For One’s guidance, fill in the role he gave me so I could make your dream a reality. But I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t lead the team I was given. All I could do was throw myself at Kurogiri and beg him to keep you safe before it all went to black. Even with all the extra mods, I still couldn’t follow through on my end. Should’ve known that potato head was lying when he said ‘everyone can be somebody’s hero’, because I sure can’t!”

While Deku recoiled in shock at the subject of heroes being brought up now of all times, Tomura merely sighed, then leaned back just enough to take off the red cloth wrapped around his neck before closing the distance once more to bundle Spinner within it. Noticing someone shift from behind, Deku chanced a glance and saw Mirio looking shaky yet restrained. He hoped he’d be able to ask what shook him up later.

“Well, you’re right about All For One being full of shit. Still, haven’t I told you before? You don’t need to have every skill maxed out, and you don’t need to apply half a dozen strength mods. You don’t need to do anything grandiose or push yourself into a role that you can’t handle. Your loyalty and friendship are enough. It’s helped me through every fight we’ve been in, and didn’t you just admit that you powered through a quirk overload to free Kurogiri for my sake by sheer willpower? You’ve already saved me, you’re already my hero.”

Spinner let a few more tears drip down his face as he listened to the praise, then he let his body relax fully into Tomura’s embrace, using his snout to nuzzle his friend’s face with Tomura gladly returning the gesture.

In the background, Deku watched as Kurogiri settled down with the help of his old friends, pro heroes began to band together to treat each other’s wounds, and his fellow students milled around providing aid where needed. As the silence stretched on and the full weight of what everyone had witnessed was processed, that the villains who were labeled as most monstrous were capable of extraordinary compassion and tenderness, all who had considered themselves heroes turned inward to reflect, unsure of where they could or should go from here.

For Deku however, he saw what he needed to see, the missing piece that took his wavering resolve and solidified it. With his nerves steeled, he crawled over to the pair, and with a hand reached out towards them, opened his mouth to speak.

[hawkogurl]

The fact that people interpret that scene in the first Raimi film where Norman seemingly shows Harry affection for the first time when Harry tells him MJ loves Peter and vice versa as genuine on Norman's part is so wild to me bc it's obviously manipulation - but I suspect the disconnect comes from both (a) reading the scene through a post-NWH ret-con lens, and (b) taking what he says at face value while ignoring that characters can say one thing and mean another, and that there is a lot of other cinematic storytelling going on to frame the scene as sinister and each Osborn taking a different meaning from it.

Like, Norman's promise to 'rectify certain inequities' is Norman meaning revenge, and we as the audience know the context - but Harry does not, so he misinterprets it as meaning he's going to be a better father, and the disconnect and double meaning comes off as sinister and manipulative; likewise, the dark music playing in the background, and the visual storytelling like both of them being dressed in black, the way Norman looms over Harry, the vaguely gothic vibes of the penthouse, etc. all frame the scene as being creepy and foreboding; even if you only pay attention to what Norman says, he's very obviously immediately and only interested in Peter rather than Harry and his hurt feelings, and doesn't actually sound concerned in a fatherly at all!

NO ITS LEGITIMATELY WILD TO ME. Like man I guess Norman really is a master manipulator cause that shit worked on more people than Harry. It’s also really frustrating because a lot of the behavior we see from Harry aligns with the idea he was been abused and manipulated in a capacity designed to make him want to do anything to please Norman, something that makes me personally really dislike the idea Harry did poorly in school to act out for his attention. We sort of repeatedly get implications Harry WAS trying because he would do anything to be something Norman recognizes as worth loving. The way his hallucinations talk to him are probably things that ring true as to how he felt Norman saw him and frankly probably ring true to how Norman actually saw him. He would do anything for Norman’s validation and that’s just another example of it. Norman manipulates him with the affection he craves to get him to continue giving him what he wants. It’s framed as a bad thing for a REASON. it’s not benevolent. He’s taking advantage of his vulnerable son. I can’t even really put it better than you did, but it’s especially baffling when the rest of the movies reflect the idea that Norman manipulated him to crave his validation at all costs for his own benefit.

[fungifanart]

Disillusionment

Characters: Male reader, Yuu!reader, Leona, Malleus

Word count: 804

Cw: Angst, falling out of love

Notes: Had a concept for "what if MC wasn't in on Malleus's plan for the Spectral Soiree event" stuck in my head so I thought I'd write something short for it

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

---------------------------------------------------------

A prank.

This was all just a prank.

He put you through all that stress for a funny haha joke.

You feel countless emotions swirling around in your head as you look at the man in front of you who's smiling as if he doesn't have a care in the world.

But you care. You care so fucking much it hurts.

It hurts that he thought this was okay, that YOU were okay.

Well, you aren't. Not even close. But you would never say that, of course! Wouldn't want to RUIN the light atmosphere!

And so, rather than stewing in your emotions while pretending to have fun with everyone, you elect to quietly slip out of the main hall and stew in your emotions alone.

You lean out over a balcony at the end of the hallway just outside the main hall and let loose a guttural yell that echoes across the land below.

You stay in that position for Seven-knows-how-long as you try to sort through your thoughts, so oblivious to the world around you that you don't notice the sound of footsteps approaching you from behind.

"Never thought I'd see the day that Ramshackle's resident partygoer would leave one just to hang out alone." Leona says from behind you, releasing you from your daze so you can look at him.

"Y-yeah? Well, you guys may be able to shrug off what happened and party it up, but I just...can't." You say before turning around to lean against the balcony again.

Leona walks over and leans on the spot next to you, "So you're just gonna sit here and pout the whole time?"

Little does he know that he struck a nerve.

"Leona Kingscholar, don't you DARE act like I'm being overdramatic." You say in warning with all of your fury bubbling just below the surface.

You can see him beginning to tense up upon realizing that you're serious.

"Look, I never said that." He begins, "I just--" You cut him off before he can continue.

"Just what? Forgot that I woke up in the Spectral Realm ALONE? Forgot that I legitimately thought I was DEAD until I met up with you guys?? Forgot that I was genuinely afraid for the lives of you, Grim and everyone else???" You question harshly.

"That's not what I--" Leona tries to argue, but your tirade cannot be stopped now that he's started it.

"Then what is it?! Why are you taking HIS side when A) You don't even like him and B) He doesn't even seem apologetic?! It baffles me that Malleus is in there right now, carrying on like he DIDN’T specifically have his ghost friends kidnap me and most of the student body in our sleep, which is a severe breach of trust and privacy, and I'm just supposed to be cool with it because 'It was just a prank, bro'?!" You yell as tears begin to roll down your cheeks due to the intense anger and betrayal you feel towards Malleus.

Leona watches in stunned silence as your anger and betrayal give way to intense sadness and you pathetically try to wipe away the tears, but to no avail.

"I-I thought we were friends, b-but friends don't k-kidnap each other!" You say between sniffles and hiccups as Leona does the unexpected and inches closer while wrapping his arm around your shoulder in silent comfort.

You place your trembling hand on his as you take deep breaths to stabilize your breathing, "I guess my 'Lostie' just isn't the person I thought he was..." You say as you feel your heart break in two.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Malleus had noticed the Prefect’s absence shortly after he took a break from organ-playing to ask his guests if they were enjoying themselves, but ultimately paid it no mind at first, simply chalking it up to him needing to use the bathroom.

However, he begins to worry as time passes and the Prefect is still nowhere to be found, which prompts him to quickly excuse himself to go look for him.

Luckily, his search ends as soon as he leaves the main hall as he sees both him and Kingscholar at the end of the hallway.

As he approaches with a fond smile at seeing the Prefect, he notices that Kingscholar has his arm around his shoulder, which causes Malleus to raise an eyebrow and his smile to fall. However, just as he's about to speak up, the lion beastman turns his head around, making direct eye contact with him and, rather than having the usual malice or pettiness in his eyes, all he sees is disappointment.

In the next moment, he's alarmed to hear the Prefect sniffling like he'd been crying and then saying, "I guess my 'Lostie' just isn't the person I thought he was..."

What...is this...?

[biblioflyer]

It was no “All Good Things” but it did what it needed to do.

Discovery is a bit of a metaphor for “NuTrek.” Never quite sure what it is, whether to take itself uber seriously with the razor edged gravitas of nuGalactica or The Expanse, or to lean into joyful camp like Doctor Who. I think the choice to lean into the camp was ultimately a sound one. The edge simply didn’t fit the writing which was all over the place, in true Trek fashion.

It brought out some of the worst in the fandom, which apparently also has a deep legacy. See also the extensive letter writing campaign condemning TNG as a betrayal of TOS back in the day. We have never been as good as our heroes and some of us don’t seem to try very hard.

Discovery has long baffled me because I’ve struggled, more during the early seasons, with how to approach it. The early aesthetic made me feel like I should be taking it as seriously as open heart surgery which meant it could never withstand scrutiny. The choice to lean into camp made me more forgiving.

I still prefer the bridge crew being a more core part of the ensemble but I think that’s my old school Trek training. It makes more sense for the senior staff to be spread around rather than clustered on the bridge every time and there were plenty of Ensigns and Lieutenants whose names we never learned.

Having a defined main character worked better logically when Burnham was XO or even outside the command structure. The way the character was written, I actually found it frustrating when they first had her rejoin Starfleet and then promote to Captain. They eventually wrote her as a more convincing leader but it has always seemed like she was more convincing and more compelling as someone following their conscience outside the formal hierarchy.

For all the griping about its supposed radical politics, NuTrek has felt very safe. I’ve written a lot about this in the context of Picard, but NuTrek’s skepticism of institutional power clashes with the traditional story format. It keeps walking right up to the edge of legitimizing independent actors working outside of formal structures to right wrongs and do good deeds that are harder to do from a position of responsibility where the cost of making a mistake isn’t just losing one’s own life but possibly losing hundreds of lives or starting a war.

But it always chickens out. Burnham, Rios, Raffi, Seven, Jack: all roads lead back to Starfleet. Which is not to say that Starfleet is bad, actually. I’m all for depicting Starfleet as an enlightened institution but there’s a nuanced position where some people don’t work well in that setting and there are legitimate roles for individuals acting outside of Starfleet. It doesn’t have to be a binary where on one side you have all of the honorable, moral, and disciplined people and on the other are only pirates and vigilantes.

I must give a nod of respect to Saru who has probably undergone one of the most interesting and well executed character arcs that has left the character almost unrecognizable from where he started but it all happened very naturally. Which is an achievement given how the show has struggled with pacing in the modern season format. The next closest examples I can think of would be Rom and Nog who had 7 seasons to complete their arcs. 7 much longer seasons.

I’m sorry to see Discovery go. Just on a meta level, it’s been fascinating to scrutinize its artistic decisions and how it has engaged with its critics. Ultimately I think it did an excellent job of sifting through the muck to find the good faith, well formulated criticisms and adapt gently. Given the incandescent nature of the fandom, it would have been tempting to write off the detractors entirely or essentially reboot the entire show, writing out or severely changing unpopular characters and abandoning previous choices.

I’m a big tent fandom guy, so I will always say that a show needs to be a show for both the people who loved it from the start as well as people who only approved of it later. Balancing that is tricky, I think Discovery did it well. It was often confused and janky, but it grew both the competencies of the storytellers and grew the fan base. For that I’m grateful.

[bdslab]

I always saw Peewit as an adult because my first exposure to the character was The Smurfs and the Magic Flute movie in which he (in the French version at least) definitely sounds to me like he has an adult voice (if a comedically annoying one). And then I only had one BD of Johan et Pirlouit and in that one he drinks wine and gets drunk at one point, and Johan chastises him but in a "you should be ashamed of yourself" way, not in a "oh my god you're a CHILD why are you drinking alcohol??" way- but of course that story was much more recent so it wasn't written by Peyo...

All this to say I had a very narrow understanding of the subject of Peewit's age and it kinda baffled me to learn that some people thought he was a child/teenager, haha XD

Legitimately it’s so polarizing in the fanbase it drives me crazy. And yeah legitimately both sides have merit cause Peyo wanted him to be both. I will say French ppl skew more adult and English ppl skew more child but that’s cause the media they were likely exposed to first follow those sort of patterns. Most English fans come from the cartoons first which are clear and most French fans read the comics first which is fuzzier but actually HAS those “older friend” moments that can bump his age up. Doesn’t help that Papercutz translated his age that way either. But you know it’s not 100% either way, like don’t even get me started on the French people who think he’s 60 years old but also a fantasy dwarf so he’s a child anyway. I‘ve seen a good handful of people with this interpretation and I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more out there.

It’s very easy to read Peewit as a legitimate adult who happens to be short and is just kind of immature & unknowledgeable a lot of the time. It’s also very easy to read Peewit as a teenager that’s been living alone long enough to start drinking & gain some worldly experience above what you’d expect, especially in medieval fantasy times who lies about his age to seem more mature because his friends expect that of him and he lies fairly frequently anyway. It’s ALSO also admittedly easy to read him as the fantasy dwarf child thing because he is short in a fantasy setting & acts rather childish while saying he’s 40+.

Again I’m fully admitting the main reason I see him as a child is because of the media I was exposed to first. I read the comics after and he still feels the same cause they didn’t really change him much in the cartoon. They’re all legitimate interpretations.

[myechoecho]

Queen of Tears, ep 11

Firstly, I do not buy Hae In's mother's tears. AT ALL. Now she wants to play at being her mother?? If, at any point, we had seen some sort of hesitation or regret on her face with her interactions with Hae In similar to how Hae In and Hyun Woo would look at one another then maybe I could buy it. But she hasn't done that. She's been horrid to Hae In this entire time. Even with Hae In hinting she was going through something or the aunt trying to nudge her towards Hae In.

You do not get to wipe away years and years of cruelty to your child just because now the child is dying. What's worse is she knew what she was doing to Hae In. She recognized it, but didn't stop. Now Hae In is even apologizing to her mother!! "I wasn't an easy daughter". No Hae In, if you were not an easy daughter it was only out of self preservation due to your mother's treatment. Hae In's mother has done nothing to earn Hae In's forgiveness yet all seems to be forgiven. This plot point is driving me wild.

I adore that the first thing Hae In did when she woke up, once Soo Cheol left the room, was to continue on with the thoughts she was having when she passed out. She told Hyun Woo that she loves him, that she has always loved him and she was sorry for what she's done. It's feels like they've really turned a corner. They are communicating and working together. They have more to do, but it's so good that it's out in the open. They do need to talk about the loss of the baby though.

Between the scene on the bench at the hospital, to Hyun Woo drying Hae In's hair (you know she can work that hair drier just fine), they are genuinely cute together. They also make a great team, judging from the way they were able to put together the shredded paper.

Just what exactly did Eun Sung do to Hae In in university? I'm a little baffled because the start of the show they did make it seem that they were legitimate friends who drifted apart like people do. Except in this episode Hae In says she cut ties with him. He was there for her when she was struggling yet HE was the reason she was struggling. Eun Sung says if she had just liked him in the first place, he wouldn't have done those things? What things? Because it sounds somewhat similar to what he's done now - pushed her into a ditch so he can pull her out. So I am little confused at their portrayal at some parts through this show since while Hae In drew lines, she also seemed to be connecting to an old friend.

I do love how Hae In and Hyun Woo are completely in sync when the both tell Eun Sung, separately, that they are staying with the other. And do not need to explain themselves further.

[astrababyy]

I just don't understand how the EDITORS— people who are paid to correct and revise— just read through Sarah's acotar and thought it to be a good idea to publish it. I mean seriously, there's no healthy relationship in the ENTIRE damn serious, not nessian, not feysand or anyone. I genuinely dk wht I was thinking when I listened to booktok and thought it would be a good idea to read this series.

Ps. Sorry if the grammar isn't good, English isn't my first language.

don’t worry about your english! it sounds perfectly fine to me :D

it is truly baffling that she got that far with editors. i think the thing about it is that she actually fired her editors at some point while writing either tog or acotar. i can’t say for sure if that’s correct, but i believe @/worldsnotsaid and @/croissantcitysucks have both spoken on this specifically.

regardless of the full backstory with the editors, it truly is insane. her writing just tends to go off the rails, and acosf is probably the worst example of this. there is little to no plot throughout the vast majority of the book, only for the last 100 pages or so to randomly be the precise opposite.

and you’re right that there legitimately isn’t a single healthy relationship between main characters in this series. now, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially in romantic fantasy, but do not hail your work as being a healthy relationship when it is literally anything but…

like, the feysand relationship is a living NIGHTMARE. nessian is so… predatory, and it makes me uncomfortable reading their interactions. cassian’s got no respect for nesta as a person, and it’s clear he’s only interested in her because of the mating bond. even then, he only seems to like her for her body.

that’s not to mention the egregious amount of retcons, plot holes, and the like in this series. honestly, half the issues with acotar could be corrected if sjm just had a halfway decent editor.

also, never listen to booktok. their opinions on books very rarely cross with the opinions of fandom tumblr lol. they tend to enjoy more, idk, consumerist (?) books than people on this site, i think. yk those books that are like the book industry’s equivalent of fast fashion? yeah, that’s what booktok likes recommending lol.

[paragonrobits]

one idea i float around now and then is the idea of a villain organization that maintains a code of conduct, as an in universe reason where villains have an unspoken conduct of proper behavior and when one goes too far or does inappropriate things for a Real Villain, they fucking shut it down immediately; its inspired with things like the Flash's rogues gallery being an actual group that have killed former members that did something inappropriate for the Rogues (like throwing living people into a zombie pit for the zombies to kill in a misguided attempt to revive a zombified family member)

i've had previous ideas for the idea of a villain as a performance piece, where its a big stage of some kind, possibly to encourage people to think about various social issues through the villain doing things (not so much in a 'the villain is a revolutionary' way but in the same fashion of Captain Planet villains being horrible polluters and getting people to go 'oh damn that stuff is bad, we should watch out for people actually wanting to do that for reals'), but this isn't actually like that

these are actual legitimate villains off to do villain schemes like robbing banks, but they're a formal organization with very specific rules. they are NOT antiheroes or heroes of any kind, but they do police their own from going over what is considered a villainous line, even if in-universe heroes fight the criteria baffling, and possibly only tolerate it because the villains ensure that actual mass death or bad stuff happens.

yknow how Megamind in movie of the same name is shown going out of his way to actually not cause genuine damage because he IS a genuinely moral person deep down, but outwardly because that's part of what makes a SUPERvillain? That kind of thing, with less personal awareness

you MIGHT get some heroes who maintain friendly relationships with their villains off the clock, but its not universal; some might even have romances with the other, while others very coldly tell off their villain for even THINKING its a personal relationship. "Listen, I am NOT your friend, and I am NOT your romantic partner. The only reason I put up with you is because that's how its done; I hold back because YOU hold back and you don't actually murder people or make things worse or, I don't know, dismantle a kitten rescue shelter for evil points, but this is not a friendship and I don't owe you anything."

(this can also factor into the vibe of 'villain who gets personally attached to a hero and mistakes this dynamic for reciprocated love is outright called pathetic and in-universe you're SUPPOSED to feel the same')

so essentially, a group that organizes supervillain behavior and makes them comply by a code of conduct, so they don't step over any lines that would go too far, but they ARE still doing villain things that heroes must stop, and heroic characters may regard these as terrifying arbitrary lines and their villains actually make them really uneasy because having standards instead of morals sounds genuinely WORSE than just being callous