#He is going to create an environment that is so toxic

[fyeahygocardart]

Evil HERO Toxic Bubble

[jakei95]

This will be the last update about the accusations against Nyx and me from last year and recent months.

VERSION EN ESPAÑOL:

I cannot force everyone to forgive or believe us, but I would like to provide a closure from our part on the events following Hopeless Peaches' false accusations last year, and a few more that have been reappearing this year, once more.

In recent months, we resumed communication with CrystalFlame, one of the victims of the Glitchtale server. Crystal acknowledged that the accusations against us for allegedly being sexual towards minors and bribing her to remain silent about our "crimes" were entirely fabricated by these people. It was never our intention to hide our past mistakes with money. The separate donations Nyx and I gave to Crystal were solely intended to help her.

Regarding the conversations on Skype in 2017, neither Nyx nor I ever forced the minors present to engage in sexual behavior for our entertainment, nor did we sexualize them in any way. There were inappropriate conversations between adults, in which they should not have been involved, and we recognize our mistake in being negligent and not caring enough about them. I must admit that Veir also disgusted me, and I reacted foolishly by not confronting him or by saying things he liked just to make him leave me alone. I deeply regret this. Although we have apologized to Crystal for this, I also want to apologize to the minors who were there, even if they don't want to know about this anymore, and to the entire community for this huge mistake. Since Nyx and I stopped using that chat short after our irl meeting that same year, plus our detachment to the members of GT, we have changed our views significantly both in public and in private, creating a healthy community for everyone. I will add more details later regarding my experiences with NSFW material, for which I have also been accused of being a depraved person.

I disagree with how Nyx tried to explain how these behaviors were so normalized, but he never intended to endorse the toxicity and unpunished crimes occurring in Latin culture. Nyx acknowledges this, and we discussed it again privately with Crystal. We apologize once more to our Latin members who might have been offended by this take, which could have been better explained. Nyx and I said a lot of things out of fear and frustration, which caused more harm and distress rather than solutions due to the explosive harassment we faced because of the false accusations by Hopeless Peaches and their group. I won't go into too many details because I have chosen to keep my mental health private, but this wave of harassment severely impacted my mental and physical health, and I am currently undergoing treatment to manage the aftermath.

However, I want to take full responsibility for causing Nyx to act out of emotion rather than with a clear mind in a desperate attempt to protect me, as Crystal ended up in a very complicated situation during the harassment wave created by Peaches, making her believe that our lives were in her hands and dependent on her choices. This was not only inappropriate but also unfair, considering Crystal was going through a lot at that time. Nyx and I poorly worded many things both publicly and privately. We should never have let our emotions take over while trying to defend ourselves. We could have handled the situation more maturely. None of these mistakes will be repeated ever again. Crystal has also admitted her mistakes. Many things would have taken a different path if dialogue had been the first option instead of public statements, but both sides have learned a lot.

With all this, I don't want to hear anything about Glitchtale, its creator, or its still-active members. Nor do I want to hear about Hopeless Peaches or their community, or what's left of it. My purpose on the internet is to entertain people with my art, and on the rare occasions I interact publicly, to maintain a calm and healthy environment, as I have been doing for years. My boundaries with fans are very strict and defined. It may sound ambitious or silly to many, but for a long time, I have wanted to make a difference and show that not all artists with a large audience are people who hide dark secrets and seek to harm others. I just want to tell stories and brighten people's days.

People have become used to seeing random individuals or public figures being exposed daily for horrible acts and behavior, which is very depressing. However, when those accusations are false, it is sometimes too late to undo the damage. No one likes to be pointed at and accused of something they didn't commit, especially when those accusations are serious, like harming another human being.

Some people today are confused and believe that I am actually Camila, and that Nyx is Veir, that my husband has been dating minors despite us being married, and that I defended my "pedophile" partner and protected other groomers. People are not only mistaking us for other individuals, but we also don't have anything to do with that other than the 2017 Skype chats. We have been put in some sort of black list from parts of the fandom due to misinformation or because some people seek an excuse to justify their dislike for us by wishing we had harmed real children. This is sickening, sickeing and frustrating if you actually think about the victims not only in fandoms but everywhere. So, please, I beg you to distinguish between names and what has actually happened. Even if you don't like us, don't seek or wish for us to be monsters just to feel proud of yourselves.

I feel I could regain some peace in my heart by having the opportunity to talk to Crystal about all what happened and ending in good terms. This should be the end of the whole controversy regarding the Skype Chat and the GT Server.

Now I would also like to take the opportunity to talk about other accusations still aimed at me to this day, which I once explained on a Twitter thread that was eventually deleted due to unnecesary arguments between fans. I'm being accused of being a horrible and irredeemable person for drawing a comic in my early years in the fandom that insinuated a non-consensual act between Cross and Dream.

Before any explanation, I want to emphasize that I still feel immense regret and shame for creating that nsfw comic, even if I didn't feel comfortable doing so, I still made the decision as an adult and shouldn't have done it in a space where there were minors and people who might find that material triggering. Even though it happened many years ago, it was not right, and I will apologize as many times as necessary.

I haven't had any contact with the creator of Dreamtale since 2017, so I'm unaware of her current viewpoint about this topic in general, but one thing is certain: both of us don't want to be associated with that ship between our characters and want to move on. We want it as far away from us as possible. I don't want anybody to harass her over this situation.

During that time, I was in an unstable relationship with the creator of Dreamtale, with whom I used to roleplay privately. This, along with being pressured to make the ship "canon", led me to create the comics for that ship. Among them was the infamous scene for which I'm accused of supporting rape. This content and private interactions reached a point where the entire situation made me uncomfortable, along with the toxic attitudes in our relationship, I ended up closing the blog, though not before writing a summary of what would happen next in the story -that didn't have any other sexual moments, to clarify-, simply a closure for those who enjoyed the comic. Not long after, we broke up.

After this experience, I began to realize that any NSFW content, both fictional and real, made me very uncomfortable. This is connected to future members of the fandom, like Veir, who tried to sexualize me, and later, ex-friends whom I wanted to please for their support during my growth as a content creator by drawing them private NSFW commissions. I ignored my discomfort, believing I was doing the right thing and that I could trust them, but what happened later finally made me understand that I personally cannot tolerate any of this content.

This group of people shared these private commissions among themselves. One of these people was someone I considered a close friend and was even my Discord moderator but began abusing their power towards other members, trying to escape the consequences just because of our friendship. They even tried to offer me money to remove a character from another artist who would appear in my animation as a cameo, just because they both had personal issues. I decided to end our friendship because I saw no changes or improvements on their part and I felt i was being used as a power tool for them.

It wasn't long after this that I found an alt account of them, posting these private NSFW drawings, tagging me to attract attention as a form of revenge for cutting ties with them (They also got Nyx's phone number to trying to get in contact with me despite what they were doing). These images spread last year among a few people who, unaware of the background, used them as a reason to question me as an artist. However I explained the rest of the story before it became more public, and I appreciate that they listened to me first, however, the damage was already done.

In March of this year, I made a thread on Twitter explaining this and my reason for not supporting or consuming NSFW content. I want to stay away from this whole debate. I don't want my words to be used to attack others. My reasons for not enjoying this are because I had people around me who caused me a lot of harm with this matter, it triggers me, and I don't like any sexual topics around me, even as an adult reaching my 30s. I simply don't like it, I'm not interested, and I want my feelings to be respected. I'm very aware that more than half of my audience are minors, and I know how to behave and what to show in my art, but there are still others looking for any excuse to call me or my husband horrible things. It has happened before with accusations of transphobia for making Frisk and Chara from Xtale male instead of non-binary as they are in the canon version. I have been called a pedophile for portraying Frisk and Muffet from XTale in an innocent romantic context, even though there is no age difference, just because is not following, again, the canon (which with all honesty, I'm not aware if it has been confirmed she is a child or not). I have been accused of racism because of the characters' skin color, and so on.

Being hated in a fandom as an artist with a big following is supposed to be normal, but, to what extent?

I know I should ignore those comments and move on, but I still don't understand why it hurts so much that people want to discredit my efforts as an artist and as a person by believing they have found some dark secret in me… I really can't understand, I just want to live in peace.

My art is my only escape from negative thoughts. Nyx is my only support in real life. I have been working on how to deal with online criticism and harassment, but it is really hard when people tell lies in order to ruin a life, especially when those lies try to make us look like disgusting human beings. This puts me in a lot of distress, mostly because I hate conflict and prefer to be left alone. I want to be a role model in this community by not getting involved with problematic people and toxic environments. Even if there are people who don't like my work, I want to show that there is still a bit of decency and common sense in the art community.

For this reason, this will be the last time I talk about this because I want to focus on what makes me, my husband, and my audience happy. I want to set an example, and I want people to read this, try to understand our position, and give us a chance.

Once again, we deeply regret the mistakes we made in the past.

[linkcharacter]

I feel like many people are too focused on what Curly could've 'done' instead of what he 'thought' about it, how he saw and processed it in his head. As I see it, the point isn't that he did nothing, it's that he keeps shoving away and downplaying Jimmy's bullshit in his perception, which would then lead to inaction from Curly's side. That if he could've, we don't know if he would've. Action is very much needed in cases like Anya's, though it wouldn't make things better in the Tulpar situation, BUT that's just the horror of it and it doesn't remove Curly's faults outside of that. The point is that Curly is human and isn't exempt from trying to avoid the issue at hand in his head because of who he is as a person and the environment they're in, the condition Curly's in. He knows it's BAD with Jimmy, yet due to either or both, prolonged conditioning of their toxic friendship and Curly's stunted mental state, it doesn't click in his head properly.

If Anya didn't end up pregnant, if Jimmy didn't crash the ship, would Curly have seriously contemplated about Jimmy or rethought their friendship after finding out he's a rapist? Would anything have changed between them? I would imagine if Curly want half-delirious half-conscious and not going through an existential crisis, then I would give it a very stretched "maybe", and it still would've taken time to detach yourself from a close friend (with possible emotional abuse benefits). But we don't know what COULD'VE been, we just know he DIDN'T. And that is behavior of an enabler, not ill-willed or inconsiderate, but it's human to be afraid of change and be attached. Still ended in upkeeping his friend's harmful behaviors, not due to lack of wanting him to change but that's just how things are. It's realistic, there's no inherent 'morality' attached to Curly's actions, they were simply actions, what matters is the result. Good intentions don't mean much in face of a horrific outcome.

Would Curly keep attempting to give Jimmy help to be better, in vain like he was suggested to have done before? Very possible. "We said tomorrow will be different. Today would be the last day."

Would Curly report Jimmy to the authorities if he could? We don't know (I'm leaning towards a no though). It's not a bad thing to want your friends to be better and believe in them, nor do I think cutting them off is always the best course of action. Rehabilitation is a good thing (though we don't know exactly how Curly tried to help Jim) and having a support system as friends can make it more effective especially if it's a person struggling financially and mentally in life like Jimmy. Yet Jimmy still has to take accountability and be handled in a proper manner for what he did, not just be let go off the hook, only hoping he will improve like Curly does. At some point Curly had to stop making Jimmy's actions his responsibility but never did, until the end.

The conditions of the Tulpar themselves are very lackluster, the system is unfair and harsh with what we know about Mouthwashing's world. The companies are uncaring and scummy as they are in real life, Pony Express especially being cheap and has no regard for the safety and well being of their employees. It all creates a systematic environment for the worst human traits to fester in unchecked, no one single individual could've "fixed it".

So realistically I don't see much that could've been done in the environment they were in and no matter what Curly did, the outcome would never be good. In any course of action Curly could've gone with, the situation isn't changing, Anya was assaulted, Jimmy is the Co-pilot, the duration of the flight is more than the pregnancy term, conflict within the crew will be punished financially by the HR, they were fired. It's horrible and irreparable no matter what. That is the situation.

But

Curly still downplayed it, that's the point. It's not about the potential actions we imagine he could've taken, it's about all the things he didn't take into account and lacked proper judgement towards his friend, which ended up festering a destructive parasite called Jimmy.

Not to mention that Mouthwashing is such a multifaceted game in terms of its themes, it cannot be defined by ONLY this one Curly idea. There's so much more to the story.

[1117feverlessdreams]

Liquid Courage

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🌀 🍸SUMMARY: Working beside Mingi at a bar was always fun. The flirting, the jokes, and the teasing made work more enjoyable, until the connection became too intense to bear. The boss leaves you alone to close one night, and your coworker makes you a special refreshment with lots of (s)creams.

🌀 🍸 TAGS: Alcohol use, intoxication, cursing, explicit name-calling, use of babe and sugar. fingering, oral sex, nipple play, fluff, and protective intercourse.

🌀 🍸 WORD COUNT: 7.4k

🌀 🍸 A/N: I tried to depict Mingi in a way that was true to his personality. He is truly loved by everyone he meets and I wish he knew that!

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You jump in fright from the repeated eager shouting of your name. “Y/n! Mingi! I need the both you over here, pronto!” Naturally you were startled, but not all too surprised by your boss's authoritative tone.

“Sorry boss...”

It’s been an unfortunate occurrence that your attention has been highly selective all early noon. The behavior was oddly out of character for you, but very typical for your coworker.

The underlying truth of the matter is that you’ve come to your senses- you have an excruciating crush on your co-worker, Mingi.

It had only been one year since you landed the job at the bar, and things where going really well.

You just didn’t want to fuck it up by, you know... fucking.

You've both heard and seen how work “relationships” tend to end. Nine times out of ten, the outcomes aren’t that positive. If anything, it creates a toxic environment to both parties, and the working environment as a whole.

You place down the washcloth on the bar countertop to finish your insignificant task of drying off moisture from spilled drinks and the bottom of cold glasses.

It was a non-obvious call for distraction to escape the unbearable thoughts…given that the culprit for them is in your vicinity.

The spiky pink-haired charmer frees his grip on the countertop while a customer is speaking mid-order, signaling to them that he’d be right back with his pointer finger.

They wave him off politely to attend to his vital duties, but if he were you in that situation, you would have to be dealing with all kinds of bitching and moaning.But yet somehow, in some way, Mingi had the same effect on customers as he did to you.

Maybe it was the black and white suited uniform your boss made him wear for business. But for you it was the face card, his sterling silver jewelry, and hot pink taper haircut that was the most effective.

“Yo, boss!” Besides the shivers that trickle down your spine from his baritone vocals, his informal acknowledgement to your boss makes you cringe. The last thing you need is to be overstimulated by more of your bosses obnoxious yelling.

He approaches shortly right next to you to face your boss who stands near the exit.

With a tight-lipped smile, your boss inhales a deep breath as he tilts his head kindly toward you. An exhale follows when he turns it back toward the discourteous and taller man next to you. “You never fail to meet my expectations Mingi.”

With a light nod, Mingi remarks, “My pleasure boss man, no need for the formalities.” He then gives you a small elbow jab as he smiles in his egocentric joy.

“I'll have you know they aren’t positive…’boss boy’.”

The most awkward stare-off you’ve ever been in the middle of begins, given that your weren’t in very many.“Oh…” Mingi mumbles.

You spare a side glance to watch as his prominent chest sinks in, shooting his previous confidence to plummet to rock bottom. He catches you looking at him teasingly, shamefully averting his eyes from your warring grin.

"Oh is right. Now, as I was going to say...", your boss announces, "’I’ve been calling on the both of you so often this morning, and it’s because I’m going to have to leave you guys alone for closing tonight."

As if your heart wasn't drumming against your chest from standing next to your work crush, or being yelled at by your boss on an hourly basis, it kicks you in harder at an extraordinarily fast rate.

There was no way you could psychologically endure the rest of the night by being alone at Mingi’s side for several hours.

Your boss continues on to reveal, "I’ve gotta stay at home with the wife. There’s a huge chance of her going into labor at any time is what the doctor is saying.” You smile and nod from your coherent understanding of home, wife, doctor, and baby.

“That’s understandable boss, you comment sweetly, I hope she delivers safely, and that you both have a healthy child.”

Mingi nods in agreement, using the moment as a chance to extend out his large hand for your boss's to clasp, triggering the jingling of his chained ring. “You’re already the best father of the year my man!” It’s not as shocking when the jingling sounds once more as Mingi’s hand falls back down, sulking in the denial from your boss.

“I appreciate that Mingi…really.” A chain of keys is slid effortlessly out of your boss's Carhartt jacket pocket, then seamlessly thrown backward into your clutch. “Y/n, you’ll hold the keys, and you will be left responsible to assist in locking things down tonight.”

Mingi takes a step forward and gestures to himself with his hands and an offended face proclaims, “Yo- I mean, boss…what about me?I’m right here.”

“I see that.”, your boss sarcastically remarks.“Keep tabs on Y/n, and help her if she needs it.”Mingis facial expression is like a gaping fish’s mouth out of water, suffering and speechless.

With no remorse your boss turns the other direction. After a few steps he naturally opens the bar door to let a customer inside, displaying a storming parade of heavy rain.

“You’re lucky I don’t fire your ass Song, but you keep those customers flowing in like a frat boy chugging a keg tube!” The door jingles as he finally takes his leave right out the exit, closing you in with inescapable temptations.

“Idiot…, you whisper, “why do you have to be that way around him?”, you shake your head in disapproval to the upset and adorable duck faced man.

He whines childishly to your dismay. Without a choice in the matter, he walks behind you as you both make your way back to awaiting customers that are dinging the bell obnoxiously at the bar.

“What did I even say wrong?” Mingi approaches the customer whose order was inconveniently interrupted, and seated closely from your group intervention.

“Beats me.”, the customer says in between laughter.

...

Today was your first day working at the pub without a boss.

Unfortunately, today of all days- did they leave you alone to deal with drunk customers and your seemingly impossible- newfoundingly attractive, and sober coworker, Song Mingi.

When the evening begins to roll in leading to what might be a fateful night, things began to get a lot more hectic.

As per usual, there are the guys who come in after a bad day, a troubling situation, or a bad life. Mainly because of work or a partner they need to shake off. A drink or many was the anecdote to temporarily forget.

A customer attempts to sit on a bar stool as he tramples around it before managing to successfully put at least half his ass on it. "The music in here…”, he groans with both hands on his head, “it s-sucks man!"

Mingi approaches him with care and interest, but no regard for his behavior. It’s the same as he would treat any other customer.

"I’ve been telling the boss man to let me DJ y’know? But he likes to go on about what I play is too loud." Mingi then begins to mock your bosses voice in a fairly amusing attempt, using air quotes with his long fingers for emphasis. "Anyway, he isn’t here with us tonight…thank goodness.”

The last bit he says under his breath, but not anything you can’t hear from preparing drinks beside him while he takes orders.

“Oh! you mean-you mean that old dude?!” The drunken man says in realization as he lets out an ungraceful burp. "He doesn’t know anything about what’s hot in today’s music!” in a dramatic motion, he swirls his finger in the air and pointed directly at Mingi."Turn on that good shit pinky!”

After some pre-contemplated thought, Mingi gladly makes his way to the end of the bar, raising his hand to signal the DJ for the cue.

He’s quick to pull it down when he senses you approaching behind him, smiling timidly as he turns to face you. "Play something club worthy at least, that’s my only request." You shrug your shoulders and step aside from behind him, walking back toward the front end without a care.

"If only the boss heard that come from your mouth. He'd never believe me in a billion years.", he whispers.

Mingi does a few hand signals you couldn't effectively translate, but upon hearing the cue of “club-worthy music” play through the speakers, you realize the DJ perfectly understood.

The drunken man stands up quickly from the stool, utilizing the bar top for stability. It was when he moved away from the bar top that concerned you when he began to trip over his own feet again. For the upteenth time Mingi leans over the counter and grabs his fore arms to help him keep balance.

At times, he was sweet in that way.

The drunken man widely grins as he once again points at Mingi. "I like you, and-and I really like this alcohol.” He points up his finger twirling it around in the air as if he was casting a magic spell. “Give me a round of shots for this whole bar Pinky!"

A uproar of excitement from all across bar powers over the music. The man rises from his stool to cheer with them, uplifting his hands like he was given the role of a God.

‘Surely…,’ you thought, ‘after this night ends, that man will wake up in the early morning to dial the line of his bank. Considering the fact we’re getting busy as the hours tick by.’

…

Every workshift would be uneventful if your customers didn't come in variety packs.

There were the Cougars. Middle-aged women trying to keep up with the times, so time doesn't catch up with their age.

Said one of many women walks up to greet you both at the bar in a sultry walk. Possibly in hopes of causing a swarm of bees to get a taste of her special made honey.

The essence of Mingi captures her eye however, and she decides to sit in a stool that so happened to be free right in front of him.

Her tight leather leopard print pants stretches as she moves with every inch. She looks downward when seated to shimmy her gargantuan boobs on the counter while wearing a matching top that holds in the drooping.

As flamboyant as the cougars usually are, it was a necessity for her to top everything off with a long lion trench coat that she moves behind her to suit properly.

You continue making the drink for the rounded tables while Mingi deadpans at her in a standstill behind the counter, paying no mind to the display she's trying to showcase.

"You know"...she begins, squishing in her boobs with no need for adjustment, "I usually don’t go for just any young man… ‘specially the ones with pink hair", she adds. "But you might’ve just changed my mind hot stuff.”

Her hands smooth over her chest for another time, yet they travel inside the top she was wearing.

Out of it, she pulls out a thick wad of folded bills, racing her hand forward to Mingis front pocket. In the boldest way possible she grabs hold of his tie and inserts the cash and pats in securely in his chest. She even goes the extra step to tuck the tie back in, smoothing the now wrinkled material with her Y2K duck nails.

You’re stunned as you watch Mingi immediately take hold of her wrist decorated in a forearms full of pandora bracelets. “Let me change it again for you, sweet pea."

The nickname took the lady aback, as it did the same for you. If only it was directed at you, but in a different context, it makes any bad day better again.

“That guy right over there...”, he continues, pointing to one of the younger men that come in often- ‘a bad life’ you think. “he’s been wanting to buy you a drink ever since he got here.”

As she turns her head in the point of Mingi’s direction, he carefully releases go of her wrist carefully to not cause a mishap. “He’s kinda hot”, she says fanning herself with the loose hand, "Oh...but are you sure you won’t be upset sweetheart?”

Mingi lets out a light laugh, shaking his head no in the most nicest way possible. “Not at all pretty lady. I can’t interfere with potential love at first sight.”

She thinks for a moment and sighs when a decision was made. In moments she gets up from her stool to readjusts her previous adjustments. Pants, boobs, and the train of her fur coat.

For the first time she looks at you, and then Mingi again. In her mind you can tell she read over something in you that you couldn’t comprehend. But your instincts tells you, she knew something. “You’re a cute little fella. Keep that pink hair going, I just know somebody’s gonna love pulling that at night.”

Her smile grows wide as she waves in your direction, "Bye, honey. “I hope those drinks aren't the only thing you'll be mixin' up with tonight… if you know what I mean."

Oh, you knew.

You were nerve-wracked for Mingi to think the same with different feelings, unattracted ones. "Wow…and to think she isn't even drunk yet.", Mingi mutters as you both watch the pair initiate conversations.

“Was he really wanting to buy her a drink?”, you asked in curiosity.

“Nah, he’s been looking around for someone for the past half hour, and she obviously need some attention so…perfect match.”

"You are absurdly evil sir." You gaze at Mingi’s stark figure with his eyes trained on the new couple.

You take the time to admire his side profile, thinking about how his nose could fit into small spaces. Or how his lips could suck-

“I prefer to be called Cupid.” He turned his head to meet your hypnotic gaze, winking at you in surprise.

To your shock, and even Mingis, the next hour consisted of the couple grooving and grinding on the dance floor. Right after that skipped out in each others arm with a chime for the exit door.

“Cupid it is.”

“Ditto.”

…

The final boss, your mortal enemies, the hot girl groupies.

They always arrive together knit in arm, and they settle down at the front end rounded tables. In the midst of their original conversation they all catch a glance at the sexy bartender across the room.

Separately, one by one, they all come up to order drinks with an underlying mission to capture the thing inside Mingi’s pants. The success rate is usually zero.

A young woman, both your ages, walks up quick with confidence from her groups table. As much as you hate to admit, her white halter top and denim-distressed booty shorts could do a number on your chances.

What makes things worse is that at this time of night, the led pink lights come on. Which means the hues of Mingi’s spiky hair becomes more fluorescent than it is in the morning light. It brings on too much attention, and a great cause of more distraction from your duties.

As the cougar has done earlier, she leans over counter with to forge her boobs to the front of her chest. Except…she was a lot more obvious about her intentions.

She flicks her chin toward you, smacking her gum with a popping jaw. “She your girlfriend?”

Mingi looks back to see you flustered from the unwanted attention. You were supposed to make drinks and give it to him, to give to her. No where in that interaction were you supposed to be involved in any conversation besides complaints about the drinks.

He gives you an attractive smile with his full lips, tracking your face and body with his eyes. “Nah, she’d be lucky if she was though.” What kills you is that Mingi maintains the eye contact with you and not the girl. It pissed her off and you as well in a sense. Although on the inside did you feel so fucking confident.

Mingi’s way with words uplifted your self esteem from time to time. But damn was the girl in front of him furious, her self esteem was depleting, and so she had to resort in ringing the bell in desperation to redirect Mingis focus.

“Can I please get a strawberry lime margarita…and with a little sugar around the rim too, please? I like licking around the tip of it y’know?“ She traces the counter top in circles with the tip of her finger, flickering her tongue as she holds eye contact. “ It makes my tastebuds really happy…”

He repeats the order- the strawberry lime margarita with a sugar rimmed part. "Strawberry lime Margarita with a crystalized sugar rim.” He writes it down but doesn’t hand it to you like usual, instead he tells you to step aside so he can make it himself.

You could tell the hot girl loved that by the way she bit her lip while Mingi mixed things together. When he’s finished, he slides the drink onto the counter and directly in front of her chest. “Your drink that you ordered.”

Her focus doesn’t even land on the drink because she’s so caught up in his physique. "It looks perfect! Thank you, um…” she looks over his suit for a name tag to notice there wasn’t one. A open opportunity for what she’ll say next-“…what did you say your name was?”

"Well… I don’t recall you asking but-.” he leans over-the-counter, interlining his fingers on both of his hands as he looks her deep in eyes, “Mingi. If you must know."

The girl leans forward and cups Mingi by the chin, which he shows no discomfort in feeling. “You’d be lucky if I was your girlfriend, Mingi.”

“Oh yeah?…, He reaches up to pull her hand and hold it in his, pulling it toward his lips which you have to look away from to withhold any rotten jealousy. "Looks like I’ll be unlucky for the rest of my life then.”

You nearly twist your neck to see the baffled look on the woman’s face, she yanks her hand away and pulls her drink off the counter, spilling the slushy ice of the margarita on her sparkling white halter.

The girls from her table gasp as they watch the scene from afar, they all urge her to move to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

“Stupid jerk!” She says wailing, shivering as the blended ice falls onto her porcelain skin, making her top all red under the hot pink lighting. She looks at you as she speeds away to the bathroom and mutters, "What a waste."

It could've been the drink she spilled that made her say that, but eye contact conveyed her non-verbal message. The only problem is that you were there, and in the way. Perhaps she and Mingi might have had a chance without your presence as a scapegoat.

Mingi rises back up, straightening his broad back into place. As there were no other customers at the counter, he turned back to you and continued to give you that distinguished look as he leant back on the bartop. "I meant what I said about you though. Luck doesn't knock twice."

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚*

REWIND

Life had became so boring to you that you fix your attention on other people’s happiness instead of manifesting your own.

It was a never ending thought, one that you wanted to escape from for just a moment. Which in turn lead you to sit on some pubs bar stool.

You watch the bartender come from the back with blinding hot pink hair, as much as that set him apart, you recognize the personality of his character. He was unapologetically himself and so helpful at the same time.

His hand was so fluid with every drink he mixed and poured over into the glass cups. Not to mention, he looked delicious in the pink lighting and his semi-formal undersuit.

After minutes of patiently waiting in your stool with no rushed timing, it lets you feen more to linger at his stature until he struts quickly to your stool.

“How ya doin today babe?”He arrives with a pen and pad, prepared to write down the contents of your order.

“Life could be better”, you reply nonchalantly with shrugged shoulders, “I suppose that’s why I’m here.”

He leans in to be more attentive, weighing his palm on the bar’s countertop with furrowed brows which were a lighter pink. “Well I hope that at least for the time you’re here, I can make it better.”

You blush as you fight off a geeky smile from taking up the entirety of your face. “I hope so too.”

You weren’t looking at him, but he let a smile just as big reveal on his own. He was so fawn that someone as pretty as you blushed because of him.

“Well, It’s a Thirsty Thursday and our special is an island vibe. It’s a blue sugar rock sour cocktail with vanilla whip shots.” He pulls out a menu from his so side to push it in front of your sulken body. “If that's not something that gives your interest a peak, then what can I get for you to drink?”

You've heard him reuse the line with multiple customers which made it easier to decide if you want the drink or put in a different order. As next in line you had your mind made up, but his presence and being the current customer has you contemplating your decisions again.

"I don't know what I want, what do you have please?"

He blinks at the menu and looks reluctantly behind him at the array of alcoholic drinks and mixers on the shelf. Then pointing to the tap on the bar. "Well what do you like doll face? I'll make you anything you ask me to babe."

The intimate nickname alters the nerves in your brain to make a unanimous decision, but at least you know what you don’t want. "I don't need anything strong because I need the energy. I prefer any of sweet drinks you have.”

“Oh I see.”, he says nodding slowly, likely because he’s encountered your type before. “How does something like a pina colada, a Mai tai, or a strawberry daiquiri sound for you babe?”

More decision making. The thing in your life that hasn’t exactly been your forte. You sigh, covering your stupidity with a small smile. “Can I just get all 3?"

“Damn…”, he trails off, scratching the back of his head which in result creates more spikes. “That is a lot of energy…but I got you babe, coming right up.”

“Yeah it's just that type of night, I guess”, you mumble, mainly to yourself. He leaves to pull on a pair of black gloves. He begins walking away to make your drinks but you stop him in his tracks.

He turns his head swiftly and walks backward to lean in with a close ear. You grow flustered at such a caring action, whispering your additional request. “Can I also get that special too please?” “Sorry…”

"Of course!” He says with a polite grin, “anything to make your night a little bit sweeter.” His piercing eyes leaves yours with two taps of his fingers on the bars top to go make all four drinks.

He later sets out a platter for your drinks and describes the flavors and mixes, even though you've seen every step with your never ending stare, but how good did it feel just to hear him talk.

“Thank you, they all look so pretty.”

He shrugs in shoulders lightly from the slight embarrassment that stems from your compliment. “I just wanted to see your eyes brighten up and that genuine smile, you look so upset coming in here.”

Your act was tucked behind the curtains as soon as he brought your true emotions into the light. “I was. But I’m better now because of you, thank you.” You lift up the specialty drink, offering the sweet cotton candy haired bartender a cheers.

He reveals a wide tooth smile, one that you found adoring to compliment his handsome nature. “No problem. It’s what I aim to do.” He waves you off as he walks away to assist other customers. Later that night he comes back to wipe down the countertops, finishing last next to you.

You let out a deep, heavy breath and his attention was focused on your contentment from how good the drinks were. The room around you feels fuzzy as you began to grow tipsy, smiling like a maniac with whip cream and sugar on your lips.

“Did that hit the spot?,” he asks with a cute giggle.

“Hellllll yeah.” It was obvious the drinks had an instant effect, considering you chugged them all within a fifteen minute period.

In between shakes of the towel and drying his hands, he giggles once more as his eyes scans over your face. “Speaking of spots…you do got a little something right here.” He uses his thumb to swipe his own lips, explaining where he sees it on yours.

You mimic him, scooping bits on your fingers and licking the clean with your tongue. “Is it gone?”, you slur in a whine, growing sad to think you looked silly in the vulnerable state you were in.

He chuckles and shakes his head know as he points out more residue using himself as reference. “No sweetheart, here too.”

“Am I good now?”

It’s not gone, and he knows it, smiling goofily. “Looking sweet sugar.”

You smile with closed eyes likely because you’re so relaxed from the chilled drinks. You open your eyes in awe to the upbeat scenery and meet the bartenders eyes again, seeing he was already staring at you. “Are you guys hiring by any chance?”

“Yeah! We could definitely use another bartender, but the boss man is picky. Were you thinking about joining the crew?”

“If that’s okay with your boss then sure”, you shrug.

“I can make it okay.” He drags his hand from the bar top and holds up his hand to signal for you to hold tight. I’ll be right back sugar.” You watch him disappear to the back. Before you didn’t recognize it, but you feel yourself sadden again as you realize he was actually nice company.

A man, shorter and yet broader emerged from the back rooms. He surveyed the area until he spots you, pausing like he found what he was watching for.

“Are you this young lady I’m hearing great things about from this boy?” You nearly choke as you began to sober up, recollecting all sense of intellect you’ve lost from four alcoholic drinks.

“That I am.” You state enthusiastically while clearing your throat. How do I have the pleasure of knowing you?”

“I own the place, and I heard you were interested in the bartenders position.” You gape subtly at Mingi who stands behind one the wall, prompting you a supportive thumbs up.

“Oh y-yeah absolutely. I’m new in town and I’m looking for a fresh start. Hopefully at a fine working establishment like yours.”

“You got experience as a bartender?”

“Uh… “Mingis encourages you to continue with beckoning hands, then hiding behind the wall when his boss takes a look back to what you seem so lost in. “No, I do not.”

“So then, do you want to learn?”

You shake your head affirmatively without a thought. “Yes, of course! If I was given the opportunity.”

The muscle headed man ponders your interview like exchange. He walks away to the back once more before coming out with a feminine version of the bartenders uniform. “Come back here tomorrow at the same time you came in today, and with this uniform on.”

“Oh, thank you so much!”

“You’re not hired yet dollface.”

You wipe the smile clean off your face and nod like you have a great understanding of what you are exactly. “Right.”

The boss walks away once again to the back and Mingis cross paths naturally to meet you back at the counter. “Don’t worry, you are 100% hired.”

You cock your head to the side, blinking at a rapid pace to organize the thoughts in your mixed up mind. “But he literally just said I wasn’t?”

“He never hands out a uniform to just anyone babe. Then he told you to come back the very next day? He sees potential inside of you.”

You marvel in his excitement for you. It was like he pleaded for you to to be given the chance. “It’s all because of you, I cant thank you enough.”

“I’ll accept you coming in tommorow as a good enough thank you. Don’t let me down sugar.”

The next night you came in at the exact same time, with your formal button up blouse and trousers. You got to stand next to Mingi behind the counter as he gave you hands on training experience.

Even thought you were nearly drunk, you were lucky to land the job so easily. With the spontaneous opportunity you hoped to get closer to where you wanted to be.

Although meeting Song Mingi already led you off to a great start.

...

“Mingi get down before you buss that dense head open! I just wiped the damn counter down.”

You thought after that all the chaos and havoc would be gone after closing, but now and still is your coworker acting worse than all of the absurd customers put together.

He was standing on the countertop and jerking out pelvic thrust in mid air with a bitten lip.

“Mingi!”, you shout. He seemed to had finally get the hint as he climbed down. But he still remained on the countertop sitting with his legs over the edge.

“Sugar. Babe. It’s a Saturday night and we are the only ones here.” He holds onto your shoulders gently and peers into your eyes, stopping you from the unnecessary cleaning of already clean surfaces. “We can do whatever we want. You know that right?”

You peer back at him, nearly hypnotized to agree to every word that left his mouth. “Yeah sure. You mean you can do whatever you want, and I take the fall for it?”

You shrug his grip from you shoulders and step back with the towel in hand. “Okayyy, I get that boss man left you in charge. But we work at a bar that also has an entire kitchen behind it, and a freaking dance floor.”

Mingi gets down completely to stand closer in front of you peering down into your eyes once again. “I mean cmon, if i was in charge-“

“In which, thank goodness you’re not.”

He deadpans as you cut him off, but remains relentless in his persuasion. “Don’t you wanna let loose a little bit babe? “I mean, while we still have the chance.”

It was a exciting thought, to ‘let loose a little bit’, and you know how Mingi is always the life to a dead party, even when it was just you two.

With his charm you are coerced to give up and throw your hands on the air without any cares to give. “Fuck it.” Mingi cheers and jumps like he’s on trampoline with no control. “But, stop doing that! And because this is your idea, I’m not cleaning up after, deal?”

Mingi chuckles and stops immediately but proceed into a small harmless dance. “Yeah sure, no biggie. He waves your condition off blatantly as you try your best to master a stare that was intimidating, but you honestly didn’t have it in you. It’s party time sugar, Woohoo!”

Mingi swings an imaginary cowboy lasso in the air, turning his back to presumably wander to the kitchen to grab a few things.

“Here’s some of the hard stuff, and I know you might not want to drink it because of your sweet tooth. But I think it’s time you could stop being a baby, and party like an adult tonight.”

You spot the array of said hard drinks, none you see are keen to your liking. “I only drink the sweet stuff because it doesn’t hit as hard. Three shots of whiskey and I’ll start having out of body experiences.”

“That’s why you have to balance it, sugar lips.” He places a shot glass down. “One shot,” and with the other hand another glass. “One water.”

MANY SHOTS AND MANY WATERS LATER…

“I’m gonna throw up. I’ll be back, I’m going to the ladies room.” After some much-needed relief, you come back to the front of the bar soured by a special aroma.

You were going to ask Mingi what the smell was until you saw him and began to connect the dots.

“You perve! Don’t just stand there looking at me!” Your pervertedness came into play by staring at Mingi placing pepperonis over his shirt where his nipples are.

You shake your head and sit at the stool across from where he stood behind the counter. “Why would I bother looking at you, you’re a walking man child.”

“My mom thinks it funny…” He walks to the back counter to grab a round tray and settles it down between the both of you at the front counter. “Care for some pizza? It’s fresh.”

You’re quick to grab a piece, you could eat anything to fulfill your empty stomach. “Holy shit that’s hot!”, you flick your tongue, tumbling the burning ingredients in your mouth.

Mingi pays no mind as he’s busy swirling his tongue out for cheese, wrapping the muscle around the lengthy pull.

You watch him tentatively with his flexible he could move the muscle, another dangerous cause for distraction.“You’re still an idiot, even when drunk.”

He takes the first bite of his slice aas he bends his head downward to look at you fanning your burnt tongue. “Who says I’m drunk?”

You place your slice down on the tray, waving your finger to Mingi. “Noooo, you’re definitely…drunk.” , you slur.

He giggles and adore you as you try and eat more slices. “Alright sugar, let’s take a break.” He fills another glass of water and brings it out from behind the counter with him for you. “Let’s dance.”

Mingi placed on some music from your boss’s jukebox given that the DJ left and packed up not long after closing. Assumingly for another gig.

He walks toward you and gently grabs your wrist. It was the most softened touch ever, but your tipsyness overrides your sensory abilities and you yank away from his hand. “Give me a second dude! Don’t you ever get tired?”

He doesn’t take you seriously but he backs off in respect. “Party doesn’t stop until you drop babe.”

You fully turn around in the stool, reassuring him that you didn’t need any help until your nearly fall flat on your face. Fortunately, with Mingis quick reflexes, he could both catch the glass of water and you before breaking yourselves on the marble-wooden floors.

As soon as you reached the dance floor Mingi handed the drink of water onto you and undressed into his button up with a few tabs unbuttoned.

The most random of songs began to play out of your bosses jukebox. A Spanish song with bongos, maracas, and horns began to sound on the overhead and controls the groove of Mingis body.

“Cmonnnn, stop it! You look ridiculous.”

He looked anything but. He dances in salsa, pacing his feet forward and backward as his shirt exposes a bit more of his chest.“We’re the only ones here! ‘Sides, I know you like what you see…” ,he licks the side of his mouth, doing a spin as he pokes out his butt in your direction.

You couldn’t help but spare the slightest glance, but he didn’t get the pleasure of seeing it. “I already told you what I see when I look at you.”

“Yeah, when I had pepperoni nipples! Now you get to see the real things.” He does another spin move that allowed him to take off his shoes smoothly. He cha-chas while backing away, beckoning you to follow him with his two fingers.

It looked as if something else was conjuring as you gained in proximity, like he was alluring you into an inescapable trance.

“Ugh…get a grip, I’m not gonna keep chasing you.”

Your wrist is indeed gripped by him. In a pose of salsa duo, he pulls you tightly into his chest. “Gotcha.”

You were spunned, twirled, and even tossed in the air before you finally grew tired and Mingi decided to go solo. You got a hold of that much needed water and nearly downed it in one go.

You were gonna go back in for the remaining bit until you saw Mingi thrusting wildly and a wicked idea crossed your mind. In a playful manner you began to hype him up and you almost felt guilty for what you were about to do when you saw his gorgeous smile. But you do it anyway, and you’d do it again if you could see his soaking wet man tiddies.

He freezes in surprise, mouth agape as he looks down at his own body.“What you do that for?”

“Well I didn’t have any money…I was just cheering you on.”

Mingi scoffs, not believing a word you said to be reasonable. “Fine then. It’s your turn. He steps away to bask in the embarrassment you might feel in your performance. But inconsistently for him you were boosted by liquid courage. “That way it’s fair and square.”

“Whatever…deal.”

For your performance you wanted to convey a different vibe. To go through the list of songs, selecting Britney Spears, “I’m a Slave 4 u” as your pick.

You sway you hips side to side as you get in the rhythm, snapping your fingers along to the kickbacked drums.

♫ I know I may come off quiet, may come off shy.

But I feel like talking feel like dancing when I see this guy. ♫

During the lyrics you pull Mingi off from off the wall, and onto the VIP sections couch.

♫ What’s practical? What’s logical? What the hell who cares?

All I know is I’m so happy when you’re dancing there. ♫

Your arms wrap behind Mingis neck, and you boldly climb onto the couch with your knees on the side of his thunder thighs.

♫Baby, don’t you wanna…dance upon me? To another time and place.

Oh baby, don’t you wanna…dance upon me. Leave behind my name and age. ♫

You roll your hips mid air above his private to withhold any boundaries, feeling on his upper body in drunk fun while he stretches his arm on top of the furniture to watch the show in relaxation.

“I bet those dumb girls couldn’t give it to you like this right? Offering their bodies to you for you to please and nothing else. Selfish bitches.”

Mingi cocks his head in amusement. From the beginning to now you’ve been full of surprises.“Sugar…are you jealous baby?”

You sigh and pause as the song continues to maintain its sensual stance. “Yeah, so what? How would you feel if I had almost every single guy that came in here wanting to screw me?

You smooth your hand over his upper body once again, playing timidly with the flaps of his button up. “You probably think you could do so much better than them huh?”

He smirks with his quirked plush pink lips. “I know I can. But I can show you better than I can tell you pretty. Can you do better than those women say they can?”

You reflect his same expression, adding a quirked brow for a challenge. “I can show you better than I can tell you pinky.”

You lower yourself to move in closer to his lips, and you both meet each other half way, kissing personally in harmony.

In nervousness you pull away, contemplating the rushed fuse of your actions. “I didn’t, I don’t know if-“

“It’s okay sugar.” He smooths a hand delicately over your head. “I want you to show me. If you want to…can you show me? Please?”

You nod, advancing to your next move of running your hand between his chest and unbutton his shirt. At the last button you free it open revealing his slim waist, your relentless temptations enables you to feel it tense at your gentle touch.

You peer at him through doll eyes, growing shy from the intensive heat of the moment. “How far do you want this to go?”

He cocks his head while biting his lip, bringing up his fingers to lift up your chin. “I think I recall a little birdie saying they hope drinks weren’t the only thing you were mixing up with tonight.”

“Mmmm.” you hum playfully. “I also think the little birdie said someone would love pulling this at night too.” You run your fingers through his soft scalp, sticking up the colored short hairs.

“And an early bird…” he shifts his bulge up against your core, “gets the worm.”

A surge in your body makes you reckless in ripping off his pants, and he does a master job of taking them off his ankles with his feet which you fairly helped with.

You sat up to grow rid of your clothes, sunken to your knees when you were skin and bare.

He was already up and rock hard, but to see you gawking at the size of him and it nearly covering the entirety of your face made him impossibly harder. You take him in immediately pulsing at the base of him.

He groans at your teasing, lifting your head up to bob it downward. You look in between your eyelashes as you swallow him with a stretched mouth. His head was tilted back as his mouth outputs pleasured whining. You squeeze onto his meaty thighs when he began to twitch. You were gonna take him there to his climax, but he stopped you in advance.

“I have condoms in my pockets. Inside you is where I want to be.”

You smile and cupped his face before giving him a chaste kiss. You reach down to grab his discarded pants and dig through his pocket to find the condom. Never had you have a partner that wore the greatest size. You thought it might’ve popped off given how large he truly was.

You waste no time climbing on top of him and directing the tip of him on the inside.

You both moan in unison with Mingis arms splayed on the couch, and yours in his shoulders for support. The muscles of his hips buck you upward and shaking in mid air.

He groans as he cheers your bouncing on with slaps to your ass. He cradles your boob in his large hand hook his mouth onto your nipple, blowing it softly to watch it erect. You feel them harden and soften with every suck and blow. It felt so good that is was painful.

With every deep thrust you both grew closer to climax with the slick stimulation. Mingi came as he whines from the surging shockwave, his thrusting comes to a slow with the will to get you in the same place. He pulls out, making the cum filled at the top of the rubber visible.

You fall over on his shoulder as he carefully flips you over. He spreads you open to access you inner flesh to slip in his chained ringed finger, and slurp up your clitoris like a rabid dog.

It only takes a matter of minutes to have you convulsing and pulling at his sweaty strands. Mingi slams your body back onto the cushion with no urge to stop until he feels you on his fingers and tongue.

“That’s right sugar. Give me all the sweetness you’ve got. Cum for me babe.”

A squelching noise indicates your means of arrival. Mingi releases you and removes his mouth. His chained ringed finger follows afterward, a string of your slick drags along your spongy walls.

Mingi marvels at the sight as he turns his hand, smiling wide as you look at him with low lids in effect of your orgasm. “I know you said for me to clean up afterwards… but I say we both made a mess no?”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚* ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ੈ✩‧₊˚*

Thank you for reading.

Much love,

xoxo

[thewulf]

Unseen Scars || Aaron Hotchner

Summary: Request - hiyaa, i was hoping you were willing to write another Hotch x bau!reader. Maybe one where reader is in an unhappy/ toxic relationship, maybe abvsive even. And Hotch helps reader learn that what her significant other is doing is wrong, and he even helps reader get out of the absive relationship. And somewhere along the way he says something along the lines of “i can love you so much better than them”.

A/N: Not sure if I love this one. Kinda tough to write. Let me know your thoughts below.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader,

Word Count: 4.2k

TW: Abuse (physical and mental), bruises, scars, talks of hitting, general CM triggers

You've been working alongside Aaron Hotchner for nearly a decade. Each year adding layers to a complex yet unspoken bond. As senior agents in the BAU you've shared long nights on cases. Him as your superior but respecting you as his equal. Both supported each other through victories and losses. You had the kind of mutual respect that's created from high-stress environments. Through it all there's always been an underlying current of attraction between you two. Subtle yet undeniable no matter how hard you tried to fight it.

When Hotch was married to Haley he was completely off-limits. It was a boundary you’d never dram of crossing. One you respected without question even as your friendship deepened. Then tragedy struck with Haley's death and while you were there to support him your own life was tangled in a serious relationship. By the time your relationship crumbled Hotch had started seeing Beth. And like the cruel joke life was, timing kept you apart once again.

Eventually, that relationship too ended for Hotch. But by then you had drifted into the arms of someone new. Someone the whole team disliked from the start. You brought him to a team dinner once and it was enough to know that no one approved even though they wouldn’t outright say it. He was arrogant, dismissive, and rubbed everyone the wrong way. But you were in a vulnerable place feeling lonely and somewhat unlovable after your string of failed relationships. He was there though. He was persistent and in a weak moment that felt like enough.

Despite the obvious red flags, you clung to the relationship out of a misplaced sense of necessity. You’d convinced yourself that any attention was better than the loneliness that echoed too loudly in the corners of your life. Yet, as the months wore on the relationship took a darker turn. It left you isolated not just from your friends and colleagues but from your own sense of self. You were slowly losing yourself to a man who hardly meant a thing to you.

You texted Hotch early in the morning. Your fingers hesitating over the keyboard before you sent a simple message: Running late today, see you by midday. The message feels sterile, too impersonal for the turmoil churning inside you. But you can't afford to say more. Not when every moment feels like a step through a minefield.

It's nearly noon when you finally push through the front doors of the BAU office with your mind rehearsing the excuses you might need. The bruise hidden beneath your scarf isn't just a reminder of last night's horror. It's a stark, physical manifestation of a boundary cruelly crossed. It wasn’t the first time he’d laid hands on you, but it was the first time it left a mark visible enough to demand a story. A story you hadn't yet managed to straighten out in your head. And if anybody was going to catch you in a lie it was Aaron Hotchner.

As you enter the building the buzz of the office feels both alien and overly familiar, a stark contrast to the silence you’d left behind at your apartment. You try to blend into the activity, nodding along to conversations you barely hear, laughing at jokes that don’t reach your eyes. You keep your posture deliberately casual, avoiding any movement that might shift your scarf and expose the truth lying so treacherously close to the surface.

From his office Hotch had been subtly watching your delayed arrival and your interactions with the team. His concern deepens with each forced smile and carefully measured laugh you muster. He's always respected your privacy. But today the instincts honed by years of profiling scream that something is terribly wrong with you. When the office finally starts to empty for the day, leaving behind the quiet hum of machines and the soft rustling of papers, he sees his chance to talk to you.

"Could I speak with you for a moment before you head home?" Hotch’s invitation comes just as you’re preparing to escape into the welcome anonymity of the evening. His voice is gentle. But there’s an undercurrent of urgency that stops you in your tracks. Reluctantly, you nod you head and followed him into the sanctuary of his office. The door closed softly behind you leaving you trapped with the one person who could unravel you with a simple look.

Inside his office the usual barriers of rank and protocol seem to fall away as he leans against his desk. His eyes were not just those of a supervisor, but of a friend—a protector. "I’ve noticed you’ve been different lately," he begins. His tone soft but firm. "You said you were running late today… but I can't help feeling there’s something more to it." His eyes briefly scan the edge of your scarf before meeting yours with a piercing intensity. "If there's anything you need to talk about, I'm here."

In that moment with the weight of his gaze and the sincerity in his voice the carefully constructed excuses crumble. The reality of your situation, so starkly isolated by his understanding, begins to seep through the cracks of your facade and you feel the first real breath of relief mixed with fear as you consider confiding the truth.

Hotch's eyes were filled with a deep, unmistakable concern. They stay locked on yours as he waits for your response. You feel the weight of his gaze, heavy with unspoken questions and worry. For a brief moment you consider continuing the charade. Brush off his concerns with a practiced smile and a reassurance that you're just tired, overstressed from the workload.

"Really, Hotch, I’m fine," you say. Your voice was steady at first but even as the words leave your lips they sound hollow. Unconvincing even to your own ears. His expression doesn’t waver. Those knowing eyes don’t buy the half-hearted lie.

"Are you sure?" he presses. His tone soft yet insistent. "Because if something—or someone—is hurting you, I want to help." He gave you that look. The one that he knew would break you down. The one that he used only when necessary.

You shake your head though. A simple reflex to protect your precarious world. But your facade is cracking, fissures widening under his gentle scrutiny. "It’s nothing, really. Just been a bit clumsy lately," you attempt to deflect again. But your voice wavers, betraying the turmoil inside.

Hotch's brow furrows slightly. His concern only deepening as he notices the strain behind your words. When you turn away, unable to meet his probing gaze any longer, a tear escapes trailing down your cheek. Your shoulders tremble with barely suppressed sobs. It was that damn look that had you falling apart. Who knew he could do that to you?

He doesn’t say anything for a heartbeat, allowing the silence to settle around you, heavy and expectant. With careful, measured steps, he closes the distance between you. You sense him nearby. His presence a comforting shadow in your moment of vulnerability.

“Hey,” Hotch’s voice is a soft whisper now. When he gently places a hand on your shoulder, it’s an offer, not a demand. You don't pull away and that’s all the confirmation he needs. With tender caution he pulls you into a hug. His arms offering safety, a haven from the storm you’ve been weathering alone. The warmth and solidity of him is grounding and as you lean into his embrace, the dam breaks. Tears were streaming freely now.

He doesn’t rush you nor does he bombard you with questions. He simply holds you, steady and strong, as you let the first wave of relief and acknowledged pain wash over you.

As Hotch's arms encircle you in a gentle embrace a rush of emotions overwhelms you each one more turbulent than the last. Instead of relief a sharp panic claws its way up your chest. The intimacy of the moment, the closeness, it all becomes too much. Your breathing becomes shallow, rapid, as if you can't get enough ai. Your heart pounds against your ribcage, threatening to burst.

"Hotch, I—I can't," you stammer. Your voice choked with rising fear. The room feels as if it's closing in. Each wall inching closer, trapping you in this raw, exposed moment.

He senses the shift immediately with his hold loosening just enough to let you breathe, but he doesn’t let go knowing you need a tether to the present. "Hey, look at me," Hotch says, his voice a calm, steady anchor in the storm of your panic. You barely manage to lift your eyes to his as you were caught in the whirlwind of your emotions.

"Take a deep breath with me, okay?" he guides gently. "In... and out," he continues, his own breaths exaggerated to model a slow, calming rhythm. His eyes are soft, patient, holding yours with a steadiness that feels both terrifying and comforting.

You try to follow as your first attempt is shaky and uneven. But Hotch is there. His presence a constant reassurance. "That’s it, just breathe. In... and out," he repeats with his voice grounding you in the moment. Slowly, the frantic pace of your heart begins to slow. The crushing weight in your chest easing as you synchronize your breathing with his.

"You're safe here with me," Hotch whispers to you. Each word carefully chosen to fortify the fragile peace you're beginning to feel. "Nothing is going to happen to you. I’ve got you. I promise." And you knew that it was indeed a promise. He’d never let anything happen to you if he could stop it.

His reassurances wash over you. His voice was a soothing balm to the raw edges of your panic. Gradually your fear subsides and is replaced by a weary relief. As your breathing evens out Hotch’s arms remain a gentle, unyielding presence around you. In this quiet space with the security of his embrace shielding you from the world outside you finally allow yourself to feel the full weight of your vulnerability—and the strength of the trust you have in him.

The panic attack recedes like a tide going out. It left you drained but inexplicably more grounded than before. Hotch holds you a little while longer making sure you're completely calm before he speaks again. "You’re not alone in this," he assures you as his tone is imbued with an earnestness that makes you believe him. That there might be a way out of the darkness.

As the last of your tears dry Hotch steps back slightly giving you space but keeping his presence comforting and solid. He ushers you to sit without words before pulling up a chair close to yours. His demeanor still radiating calm and concern. You notice his jaw tighten for a moment, a silent tell to his anger at seeing you hurting so openly.

As you finally voice the painful truth, "He's been hurting me, Hotch," the words echo starkly in the quiet office. Saying it aloud makes it all too real. A wave of embarrassment washes over you. Your gaze drops to your hands, fidgeting with the ends of the scarf. You can't bear to meet his eyes as you were afraid of what you might see there—pity, shock, or worse, disbelief.

Your fingers tremble as you slowly unwrap the scarf from around your neck, exposing the harsh evidence of your partner's violence. The bruises are stark against your skin. A palette of black and blue that makes your stomach churn. When Hotch sucks in a breath, a sound of sharp distress, you flinch, the sound bringing home the reality of your exposure.

"I'm so sorry," Hotch breathes out. His voice thick with emotion. You still can't look at him being too overwhelmed by a mix of shame and the relief of finally sharing your burden. The room suddenly feels too small. The air too thick with the weight of your confessed reality.

"You don’t have to go through this alone anymore," Hotch continues. His voice a steady, grounding force in the chaos of your emotions. Despite his words a knot of anxiety tightens in your chest. The vulnerability of the moment making you acutely uncomfortable.

Hotch's chair scrapes softly against the floor as he moves slightly closer. "I'm here, and we'll do whatever it takes to ensure he can't hurt you again," he says with a resolve that is both reassuring and overwhelming. You finally risk a glance up at him, meeting his gaze. Instead of the judgment you feared, you find only deep concern and a protective firmness. You shouldn’t have expected any less than that from him.

Seeing your hesitation and discomfort, Hotch reaches out slowly, giving you time to withdraw if you choose. When his hand gently takes yours, it's a lifeline, solid and warm. "We'll figure this out together," he assures you. His voice low and calm. "Let’s focus on what you need right now."

Tears well up in your eyes as you meet his steady gaze. Your fear of your partner bubbling to the surface. "I'm scared, Hotch," you whisper, your voice breaking with the weight of your admission. "I'm afraid of what he might do if I leave. He could do something drastic..." The possibility hangs heavily between you. A dark cloud of fear.

Hotch squeezes your hand gently. His touch reassuring as it always is. "We'll take every precaution," he promises with his tone imbued with determination. "You're not alone in this. We have resources and procedures to protect you. Trust me Y/N. You're safe."

His words were spoken with such a conviction that slowly penetrate the fog of your fear. The immediate comfort of knowing you're not alone, bolstered by Hotch's unwavering support, helps to steady the tumult inside you. The future may remain uncertain but with Hotch by your side you feel a spark of hope. A hope that perhaps you can break free from the shadows and rebuild your life once again.

The conversation with Hotch stretches late into the evening as a mix of detailed planning and moments of quiet support. Once the office empties and the building quiets Hotch makes a decision. "Why don't you stay with me tonight?" he suggests gently. "It's late and I'd feel better knowing you're safe." You agree, feeling a mix of gratitude and anxiety about the imposition. Hotch reassures you it's no trouble. Together you leave the dimly lit office, stepping into the cool night air that seems to offer a breath of tentative freedom.

The drive to his home is quiet, filled with the soft hum of the car and the distant glow of streetlights. Upon arriving, Hotch introduces you to his home with a warmth that's both inviting and respectful of your space. He shows you to the guest room making sure you have everything you need before he leaves. "Make yourself at home," he says. "We'll figure out the next steps in the morning." You give a grateful nod before heading to bed yourself. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep after your head hit the pillow. You’d truly never felt safer than you had right then.

The next morning as you make your way to the kitchen, Jack spots you and his face instantly lights up. "You're here!" he exclaims before running towards you with arms wide open. You kneel down just in time to catch him as he launches into a big hug. His enthusiasm bringing a genuine smile to your face. "I missed you!" he chirps, and you can't help but laugh, the sound mingling with his giggles.

Hotch watched the interaction from the doorway and smiles warmly but also feels a pang of concern given your recent ordeal. As Jack wraps his arms around you, Hotch steps forward and gently places a hand on his son's shoulder. "Be careful, buddy," he says softly, his voice tinged with protective caution. "She's a little hurt."

Jack’s expression immediately shifts to one of concern as he pulls back slightly. His bright eyes scanning your face with a mix of confusion and worry. "Did I hurt you more?" he asks, his voice small, his usual cheer replaced by a serious, almost adult-like concern.

You shake your head quickly making sure to offer him a reassuring smile. "No, Jack, you didn’t hurt me at all," you explain while ruffling his hair gently. "I'm just a little sore, that’s all. Your hug is actually just what I needed."

Relieved but still slightly cautious, Jack nods and gives you a gentler, more measured hug this time. Hotch watches this exchange. His own heart swelling with mixed emotions—gratitude for the innocent care Jack shows and a renewed resolve to ensure that both you and his son are kept safe from any harm.

Later as Jack plays outside, Hotch joins you on the porch with a thoughtful expression on his face. He watches his son for a moment before turning to you. His gaze serious yet open. "This morning, seeing you with Jack… the way he lights up around you. It reminded me of something important I've been meaning to share," he chooses his words carefully as he speaks to you.

Your gaze lets him know he can continue. "I ended things with Beth a few months ago," he reveals letting the statement hang in the air for a moment to gauge your reaction. "It was the right decision. My heart wasn't fully in it, and I realized I needed to be honest with myself about my feelings."

You're taken aback. Your surprise evident. "Oh, I... I had no idea. She seemed so lovely," you reply trying to mask your confusion. Beth had always appeared perfect for him. She seemed kind, attentive, and good with Jack.

Hotch nods, acknowledging your point. "She was lovely," he admits, "but she wasn't what I was looking for. Not what Jack needed either." His gaze drifts towards his son, watching him play with a gentle smile.

He then turns back to you with a thoughtful expression. "We needed someone who could really be a part of our lives, understand us. Someone who already fits so seamlessly into our little world," he adds. His eyes held yours for a moment longer than necessary, hinting at deeper layers to his words.

The implication of his statement hangs between you, stirring a mix of emotions between the both of you. His revelation not only adds a new dimension to your understanding of his current situation but also subtly places you at the center of his thoughts. The gentle hint that you might be the answer they needed feels both overwhelming and heartening.

"I just want you to know that I'm here for you, especially now," Hotch continues. His tone sincere. "It's been a tough time and you shouldn't have to go through it alone. Whatever support you need. I'm here."

As you absorb his words, a sense of safety envelops you coupled with a budding realization of the importance of your presence in his life. Not just as a colleague but potentially something more. The careful balance he maintains in offering support while subtly revealing his personal reflections provides a comforting stability as you navigate the complex emotions of your current situation.

Several days had passed since you sought refuge at Hotch's home after breaking things off with your ex. Each day Hotch gently suggests reasons for you to extend your stay. His concern palpable. "Just until we’re sure you’re safe," he reassures you, but his eyes betray a deeper plea for you to remain longer.

One evening after Jack is safely tucked into bed Hotch opens a bottle of wine and pours two glasses. He hands you one with a soft smile that doesn't quite mask his underlying nervousness. "Thought we could use this," he says as he joins you on the couch. The house is quiet, the subtle buzz of the evening creating a cocoon of calm around you.

As you sip the rich wine, the warmth it brings is matched only by the comfort of the familiar space. Hotch breaks the silence first, his voice low and laden with unspoken thoughts. "I’ve been doing a lot of thinking," he starts. Hesitating as he chooses his words carefully. "About what’s important... about what I want for the people I care about."

He pauses before taking a deep breath before meeting your gaze with an intensity that makes your heart skip a beat. "I want you to stay here a little longer. Not just for safety but because it feels right having you here. These days with you and Jack... they’ve felt more like home than anything I've known in a long time."

The atmosphere shifts charged with an emotion that’s both tender and terrifying. Hotch continues with his voice softening, "I think we could be good for each other… if you're willing to see where this might go."

Moved by his candidness and the earnestness in his eyes you find yourself nodding slightly. Your own emotions mirrored in his expression. "I've felt it too," you whisper. "It’s easy with you. With Jack.."

Hotch reaches out, his hand covering yours. His touch warm and sure. "I can love you so much better than he ever did," he says with a confidence you hadn’t heard from him. His voice deep and resolute. Then, taking another deep breath, he adds, "I love you. I love you with everything in me. More than I ever thought possible."

His confession, raw and powerful, cuts through the last of your reservations. Tears well up in your eyes as you take in the depth of his feelings laid bare in the quiet of the night. This isn't just a moment of comfort. It's a turning point, a beginning of something profound and life-altering.

As you sit there, the night deepening around you, you lean into him with your head resting against his shoulder. "I love you too, Aaron," you admit to him. Your voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions inside you. In the soft glow of the living room, you start to imagine a future that holds not just safety, but a shared life filled with love and understanding.

Two years have woven themselves seamlessly into the fabric of your life with Hotch and Jack. What began as a sanctuary in times of turmoil has blossomed into a full, shared existence, each day deepening the bond between you all. The BAU team, integral to your journey, has watched this transformation and played a part in nurturing your collective happiness.

On a sun-drenched Saturday, Hotch has orchestrated a gathering under the guise of a simple spring barbecue at a picturesque local park. The team is there, along with Jack, who’s energetically darting around with Rossi and Prentiss in a spirited game of soccer. Garcia is setting the mood with a carefully curated playlist while you and JJ are laughing over a shared joke by the picnic tables.

As the afternoon wanes with everyone sated by laughter and good food, Hotch taps his glass gently with a fork drawing eyes with the subtle, familiar command of his presence. The conversations taper off, leaving a blanket of anticipatory silence.

“I’ve spent much of my life dedicated to understanding moments—capturing them before they slip away,” Hotch begins, his voice resonating with a rare tremor of vulnerability. He looks over at you, his eyes shimmering with unspoken words. “But the moments I’ve cherished the most have been with all of you—my team, my family. And especially with you,” he turns fully towards you, taking your hand in his.

Jack, picking up on the significance of the moment, quiets down and moves closer. His young face alight with curiosity and excitement. Hotch’s gaze softens as he kneels in front of you. A gesture that pulls at the heartstrings of everyone present.

“Since you entered our lives, you’ve brought light into shadows I didn’t even know existed. You’ve made a house feel like a home again, and you’ve taught me that love isn’t just a remnant of the past but a promise for the future,” he continues. His voice thick with emotion. From his pocket, he produces a small, velvet box, opening it to reveal a ring that captures the late afternoon sunlight.

“Will you marry me?” His words, simple yet profound, hang in the air.

Tears stream down your cheeks, joyous and unrestrained, as you nod emphatically. Words were lost in the swell of emotions. “Yes, Aaron, yes!”

Jack jumps up, cheering, "She said yes!" His delight infectious bringing the team to erupt into their own cheers. Garcia captures every second, her lens fogging slightly with her own tears.

Spencer, who has been quietly observant, steps forward with a bottle of champagne. “To new beginnings,” he says. His voice steady but emotional, reflecting his deep affection for both of you. He pops the cork, and as the champagne flows, so do the congratulations.

Morgan playfully nudges Hotch, while JJ, ever the emotional heart of the team, hugs you tightly, whispering, “He’s never looked happier.”

You grin to one of your very own best friends. “I’ve never been happier.”

As the evening unfolds with laughter and shared stories, the sense of family deepens. The park was bathed in the glow of sunset, feels like a snapshot of a new chapter. One filled with love and the quiet promise of forever. Your heart, full and overflowing, knows this is just the beginning.

Aaron Hotchner/Criminal Minds: Permanent Taglist (If you'd like to be added to any or all works please fill out the form here: (Taglist Sign Up) @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @daily-evanstan @hardballoonlove @14buddy22 @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @mrs-ssa-hotch @panandinpain0 @viscade @kreepja @il0vebeingdelulu @hiireadstuff @kajjaka @guacam011y

[autistic-value]

Let's talk about Catra and Hordak

Since this is where most of the drama comes from

It's no secret that Entrapdak shippers are anti-catradora and vice versa. Why? Mainly, the issues people have within these ships are not the ships themselves, but the characters within them; mainly Catra and Hordak. Entrapdak shippers hate Catra because of the toxic relationship she had with Entrapta and other characters. Because of what she did to Entrapta, tasing her and sending her to beast island, and how she just got worse and worse in season 4.

The same could be said about Hordak, regarding the Catradora shippers who despise Hordak for most of what he's done. It's no secret he took over the scorpion kingdom, created the Fright Zone, and brainwashed and conditioned a lot of Etherians into believing the cause, just as Horde Prime did to him. And a lot of that was the cause of a lot of Adora and Catra's issues.

Here's the thing though

I really think Hordak and Catra are similar in a lot of ways. Both grew up in a abusive environment forced to portray themselves as perfect in order to no longer face any abuse from their respective "mentors".

But both Shadow Weaver and Horde Prime would never see either of them as nothing but inferior.

They both suffered years of abuse, Hordak perhaps even longer. And yes, the actions of Hordak had contributed to Catra's abuse as well, but it is a cycle. A cycle they both decided to break.

Catra overheard Shadow Weaver telling Adora that she was a distraction to her, then leaving. Leaving, because she wasn't going to be a part of Shadow Weaver's manipulation any longer. And yes, she may have left due to that very manipulation, but eventually she stays, at the very end, together with Adora.

Then there's Hordak

Ever since meeting Entrapta again, he chooses to hide his returned memories this time and at the end, when Entrapta is being held in front of him and prime, finally he sees the error of his ways, breaking the cycle quite literally. By throwing prime off the ledge.

He does this great speech about giving himself a name, a life, making a friend. He defies Horde Prime's will and finally, FINALLY breaks the cycle and gains control of his independence. And yes, there's that whole thing that happened after, but that was Prime, not him.

My point is, we should stop hating on each other and the characters because people, it's just a show, these are fictional characters with flaws that any person in real life would go through. Not to mention, again, how similar Catra and Hordak are.

If we hate on Catra for the things she did, we have to hate on Hordak for the things he did too. And vice versa. They both had terrible pasts, a long list of crimes, but they're making up for it in their own ways. Redemption is a long road, but it's a good one.

Anyway, this is just my opinion and analysis on the whole thing, you don't have to agree, but let's try to get along alright? Fandom fights and shipping wars are never fun and I really think you guys take defending and attacking a fictional character from a fictional show way too seriously.

I still love Entrapdak so much but I'm not gonna attack Catradora or Catra Enjoyers over it. And if they say something about Hordak or Entrapdak I don't like? The block buttons right there. There's really no need for so much drama guys.

Thanks for listening 🙏🙏🙏

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

AITA: Beyond Evil Edition in Three Queries

aka, Han Juwon Experiences The Darkest Timeline of A Hallmark Channel Romantic Comedy

*wherein I asked myself where would Juwon go for help with his problems and the answer was, obviously an anonymous forum online that offers dubious advice)*

AITA for Having, Like, Standards?

I (M, 27) just moved from a large city to a small town and accepted a major downgrade in my job position for personal reasons. However, my new coworkers (M, range of ages) have made my life extremely difficult. I should clarify that I have OCD and general anxiety disorder, and I don’t feel comfortable sharing that with people, or sharing anything.

I tried to bring a positive attitude to my new life, but within the first 24 hours of my being here, I was violently dragged through reed fields, discovered the body of a total stranger, got sexually harassed by a serial killer (M, 40) from my workplace, and was made to endure a social outing with coworkers. Understandably, I acted out a little. AITA?

Update: no I will not elaborate. Just answer the question.

AITA for Creating A Toxic Work Environment Even Though There Were (Mostly) Good Intentions?

I (M, 27) recently made a series of occupational choices that seemed logical at the time but which I have since learned are not good for anyone.

Context, since you’re all so concerned about that: Essentially, I pseudo-framed a couple of people for tiny crimes with the intent of flushing out dangerous criminals (to the people who asked during my last query, I will not be sharing personal information)

In fairness, and to head off criticism from this unruly website, I should point out that one of these people recently assaulted me with dairy products. The other has been unprofessional at work, dispensing support and wisdom that borders on paternal (actual paternal, not my own—you know what, never mind) behavior. Both are very loyal to one of my coworkers (M, 40s) who I reasonably believed to be a serial killer. That belief has been derailed somewhat by the discovery that he is not, in fact, a serial killer.

This entire situation (his fault) has somehow led to an awkward series of workplace and butcher shop encounters in an insular and frankly criminal-ridden small town, as well as several HR-worthy situations that I cannot be held responsible for. Basements are essentially public spaces.

AITA?

AITA for Choosing To Side With My Country Boy Crush Over My Mean City Dad?

I (M, 27) have been going through it. My workplace romance with the man I originally believed to be a serial killer (M, 40) is suffering ever since we learned (through legal and necessary means) that my own father is responsible for multiple crimes connected to the aforementioned paramour. I’ve been reading comments and questions from my previous queries and I promise I took them to heart, and have found opportunities to 1.) let him put me in handcuffs, 2.) invest in fashionable outerwear, 3.) try to get framed for murder in his place (not feeling appreciated for my efforts here).

However, recent events have led to some strain in the relationship. So I’ve decided to go to hell for him. To be clear, since many of you seemed concerned about my “safety” and “sanity”—this is a perfectly reasonable course of action. However, it does involve betraying a verbally abusive parent in favor of a hot guy with great hair.

AITA?

Update: My boyfriend and dad are both in prison.

[luckyorchid]

The sun’s up

Comic 1 (PT. 1)

(Lore + Context is below!)

Hoo boy here we go (SPOILERS for anyone who wants to experience sky by themselves!)

Sky lore for Non-players (Feel free to skip, just added this since the story is a bit tied to the lore in game)

Some of the basics:

Core / Flame = Life source.

The ancestors are the original “humanoid” inhabitants of the world. Light creatures (animals) were the first inhabitants though. Sky beings were the last creations to solidify the inhabitants.

Light creatures & Sky beings all have a “core” which means they’re all connected and living off of light as their life source.

Sky beings are essentially just stars that fell on the world and decided to exist LMAO. You can't make one, so you just have to pray really hard for a shooting star.

Realms & Elders:

ignoring the middle one for now, there are 6 realms. Each realm has different climates (But it wasn’t always like that), and settings.

Isle of Dawn - Sandy terrain

Daylight prairie - Hills, grass, oceans and flowers.

Hidden forest - A forest where it rains non-stop

Valley of Triumph - A valley / mountainside that snows non-stop

Golden wasteland - Hell (/j) / Sandy terrain with toxic water.

Vault of Knowledge - Massive tower stored with history and knowledge

In the comic, they’re in “Hidden Forest.” Each realm has an Elder, who is essentially someone who governs the realm. They’re just here to make sure everything is stable.

History (This is all based off of my own observation + Tom Zhao's concept art!):

For that middle realm, it's called "Eye of Eden" and or where the "Storm" originated from. It also has an elder, but he's more or less "King of all kings" sort of thing. He had the say in most things. Eye of Eden never had a clear vision on what it was before the storm, but I'd imagine it would be a sort of sanctuary.

Speaking of before the storm, some realms weren't how they are right now, like how Isle of dawn used to be like Daylight prairie.

Moving on, at first every one was pretty chill, until the king found something called Dark stone. Dark stone is like...the opposite of light? It's like if you shoved a rock into gasoline and something radioactive. Despite it, the elders find out dark stone can be used to make advanced technology, so of course they take the chance to overuse it.

The light creatures and sky beings suffer from the effects of this. While sky beings were taken to areas with less dark stone, light creatures were treated with more hostility. This causes the ancestors and light creatures to go to war with each other.

Long story short; Dark stone corrupted the ancestors and started destroying the environment, because it literally uses light / fire as its power. The creatures said "Nuh-uh" and started fighting back. The final fight (that transpired in Eden) gets so bad that most of the dark stone explodes and creates a massive storm that affects all the realms, and most of the people die including the elders and king 😭

This is where "Dark creatures" start to thrive. These silly little guys are similar to dark stone, they love eating light.

Ratio & Kakavasha Lore

Ratio was born before the storm, while Kakavasha was born when the storm had already happened.

Veritas Ratio Lore:

Ratio was a smart kid, and a lot of people noticed it. That's it/j In fact, a lot of people noticed it, so he was dragged into the Sky version of the intelligentsia guild- in training, of course. He's too young to start running stuff, even if he insists on it.

It got to the point where even the elders acknowledged him, and some wanted him to be their advisor when he reached the right age. Veritas is (internally) ecstatic about this. He still holds the ideals of OG ratio, universal knowledge, and as an advisor he can further be of influence for good.

He was never close to his peers, in fact they couldn't count on their fingers just how many times he's called them idiots and other remarks, but he'd never go as far as to say he hated them. Fond? Maybe, just a teensy bit. A silent room is nice, but after a prolonged period, he may seek out that background noise of chatter. (Or not)

(Ref used: S1 arcane poster) Then the storm came. The storm pretty much threw all of his dreams to the abyss, and not only that- he had to witness the things he loved and cared for either die or go into shambles. He's one of the few survivors, but he's harboring a lot of guilt and contempt towards most things. (aka everything. He always thinks of "Why's" Why did the elders let it get this far? Why were the ancestors so selfish? Why couldn't he do anything to stop his friends from being eaten by those dark creatures?)

He stays with other survivors in safe realms (Daylight prairie), and he tries his best to be of help. Specifically: hunting. (Haha get it cause the hunt *cough*) He likes to join in hunting squads to kill dark creatures in the Hidden Forest, and if he can; study the body. It's morbid, but he wants to find ways to mitigate attacks.

Kakavasha Lore

The Avgin clan are all semi-dark creatures. Their landing spot is always within an area full of dark stone, so it's like their core merges with it. They can all turn into "Krills" (Sky version of dragon). Despite this, most of them have a kind nature and wouldn't go out of their way to hurt Sky beings. They settle on eating fruits, birds, and fish.

They live in Wasteland, which is littered with dark creatures. Despite sharing the same origins, even they have to be careful. Hungry creatures aren't picky after all.

But due to their advantage, they can usually freely travel through the Valley and Hidden Forest to scavenge for food and other materials.

Kakavasha loves to join his sister for scavenging, and he loves finding out about things in general, so much so his sister always has to look behind her shoulder to make sure he isn't doing anything risky. "High risk, high reward!" He still can't turn into a krill, but he can make his hands sharp! Other than that, he's pretty happy. The storm hasn't affected them much- in fact, it's an advantage. Though, he always wonders what's beyond the forest, snow and sands.

Post-storm Kakavasha happens when the storm starts to calm down and the sky beings start to regain their footing. This is how his clan gets found out and gets hunted down, until he and a few were the only survivors. He's used as a test subject to better understand dark creatures, but of course there was no consideration of his well-being. As long as he isn't dead. Similar to the OG hsr lore, he ended up killing the people who 'owned' him. But this time, he was freed with pardon because damn look at all that trauma. In this AU he's free to do whatever without someone shackling him down, but it doesn't make him feel any better to what happened to his clan and himself. He feels a bit of spite towards Sky beings, but he doesn't outright act on it...much.

This ended up having more lore than it's supposed to have 😭 I'll make a continuation comic of their first meeting, and some other random shenanigans these two end up getting into LMAO. Thanks for reading and have a good day <33

[maxdibert]

What do you think about Severus's "obsession" with Lily that Snaters always use as an argument? It's so frustrating that they're constantly portraying him as a creepy stalker or an incel

People will make up any nonsense to hate on Severus, and if that nonsense paints him as a sexual deviant, even better, because it gives them the perfect excuse to stick to their prejudices and outright condemn him. But the reality is that Severus was neither an incel nor a stalker, and that’s what I’m going to make clear from the start, because I’m done with terms and behaviors being twisted for convenience and confusing fiction with reality.

First, Severus never, ever, confessed his feelings to Lily. In fact, it’s Rowling who confirms he was in love with her; within the books, romantic love is never explicitly mentioned. What we see is that they were friends since childhood and that Severus clearly had a deep attachment to Lily. But that attachment can easily be explained by the fact that Severus was a child from a terribly violent and dysfunctional environment, who was alone, and Lily was probably the first person to treat him kindly and offer him affection. That, for a child with severe emotional neglect, creates an immense emotional attachment to the person who finally provides some comfort and love. And that’s not the behavior of someone who is sexually unwell; it’s completely normal behavior for people with avoidant or disorganized attachment styles due to family dynamics. You could even interpret it as something purely platonic, but it’s clear that Rowling had a different idea, so we accept it if she wants (or wanted) it to be romantic.

Fine, starting from there, the reality is—as I’ve said—that he never confesses, never puts her on the spot to go out with him, never tells her he’ll hurt someone if she doesn’t date him (cough unlike James Potter cough cough), and when Lily cuts ties with him, he accepts it, and apparently, they never speak again. Severus doesn’t become bitter towards women because of that. He doesn’t specifically hate women because his best friend/crush told him to get lost. First, because she didn’t reject him romantically—Lily ended their friendship due to political differences, not emotional ones—so the incel narrative of being rejected by women doesn’t apply, as this wasn’t an emotional or sexual rejection. Second, because Severus does not hate women. In fact, throughout the series, we see him interact much better with girls than with boys. Yes, he’s harsh with Hermione, but his treatment of her, despite everything (despite everything, I repeat), is much softer than his treatment of Harry, Neville, or Ron. He has a cordial relationship with McGonagall, and we can infer he had a rather close relationship with Narcissa from the scene in HBP where she even seems to know how to easily find his house, and from the way they speak to each other.

There is no evidence that Severus harbored anything specifically against women, either before or after Lily. This image created in fanfiction to make him the absolute villain is absurd because it contradicts canon. In the canon, we see Severus constantly triggered and having direct, very violent confrontations with various male characters—it’s not the same with female ones. Severus’s abusers throughout his life have always been men (his father, James, Sirius...), and not just any men, but men who represented hegemonic, toxic masculinity. It’s with them that he has active conflicts, not women. The incel theory falls apart on its own.

Now onto the stalking. When? I mean, Severus and Lily were friends who spent time together not because he followed her around, but because they had a friendship dating back to before Hogwarts, and to top it off, they lived near each other. Let’s go back to the fact that Lily tells him to get lost, and Severus leaves. He doesn’t insist. He doesn’t pressure her. He accepts her words and leaves. The scene where he goes to the Potters’ house after Voldemort’s attack is something that happens in the movies, not in the book canon. As far as we know, he wasn’t even aware that the prophecy would involve Lily until Voldemort chose the Potters as his targets. So we can assume Severus wasn’t stewing over Lily all those years—he was busy with his own messes, not chasing her everywhere. That’s not the behavior of a stalker, and I’m sorry, but caring about someone who was basically the most important person in your life during your childhood and teenage years and not wanting them to be killed—even if it’s been years since you spoke—isn’t obsessive; it’s just being human.

I mean, think about a friend you had in school or university with whom you shared some of your best moments, and then suddenly, years after losing touch, someone is going to kill them. Would your logical reaction really not be to try and do something? It’s crazy to say that’s weird or out of place.

Lastly, let’s address the “obsession.” I don’t know if the problem is that the people who repeat this mantra have never lost someone violently and don’t understand grief and trauma or what, but I’ve lost several people in my life, and to this day, many years later, every time something reminds me of them, I cry, or my mood just plummets. Because the wounds of loss don’t heal; you learn to live with them, but they don’t close. Anyone who has experienced that kind of loss—that sudden, premature loss—knows it. Severus isn’t obsessed with Lily. Severus feels guilty for having played a part in Lily’s death, and he feels terribly guilty.

What drives him isn’t obsessive love; it’s guilt, it’s grief. It’s knowing that maybe, if he hadn’t overheard the prophecy, she’d still be alive. It’s not having been able to stop the attack. Imagine someone you love deeply dies, and you think it’s your fault, or you think you could have prevented it. Are you seriously going to tell me that wouldn’t haunt you for the rest of your life? Because I don’t know if I’d be able to live with it. I think people don’t understand that what motivates Severus is the need to settle the debt he feels he owes Lily, to atone for his sins and make up for the damage he caused—not an unhealthy romantic obsession. It’s his way of dealing with grief and guilt, and honestly, if people don’t get that, they should talk to a therapist to learn a thing or two about trauma and loss because they need some advices very hard.

[lilbabypanda-blog2]

Two sides of a Gem

Aventurine x (stoneheart)reader

Preview [ Part1 ]

Reader will be known as ruby, will appear as a male stoic and monotone. But it's actually just a puppet. No one knows where the real ruby is and what she's up to, she just let's her puppet do her work, and most people only know the puppet as ruby and not her true self, Aventurine will meet the real ruby known as Y/N:

A.N: it's not proofread, and English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes

Aventurine sat in the chair his office, playing around with a poker chip between his fingers while he let out a sigh seeing the stack of paperwork a colleague just dropped on his desk, he'd rather do anything else than that, he will have to take care of it eventually. After a few minutes of glaring at the stack of documents he reluctantly picked the first paper reading its contents as a knock on the door disrupted him, he looked up as the door opened and his secretary walked in "I'm sorry to disturb you Mr.Aventurine, but opal has called all stonerhearts to a meeting in 20 minutes"

Aventurine let's out a sigh, before showing his usual smile

"Alright, finally an excuse to not do this paperwork, thank you for informing me, your dismissed"

His secretary nodded and turned to leave the office closing the door behind her.

Aventurine got up and stretched, he checked his phone for any messages, before making his way out the office.

"AVENTURINE!" an angry voice came from behind

As he turned around he was met with an very angry topaz,

"You made me invest in this failed project on purpose didn't you!"

Aventurine held up his hand in mock surrender smirking "what makes you say that, I would never"

"Don't act all suprised you did this on purpose!" She pointed her finger at him

"I swear when I told you about the investment the project was doing well" he chuckled which made topaz even angrier, she opened her mouth but was stopped by jade " now now are you two fighting again?"

"Madam jade" topaz greeted her

"You two fight like little kids" a monotone voice chimed in.

Next to jade stood ruby, a tall man with red hair and redish eyes in his usual stoic demeanor, he just shook his head and walked past them towards the meeting room.

Topaz frowned "sometimes I'm asking myself if he's even human he's so ...cold..."

Aventurine chuckled "makes him kinda terrifying"

Jade chuckled, "well, good looking, strong, smart and terrifying, a good combination if you ask me, makes the job easier"

Everyone took their seats as opal entered the room.

"Good morning everyone, I'm glad you all made it" opal glanced at ruby then walked up to his seat and sat down.

"Let's begin, diamond and I looked over your recent projects, most of them have been very successful, aventurine and ruby, both of you managed high risk projects and completed them successfully". Aventurine smirked, playing with his poker chip. "Well, seems like I have quite the competition, completing high risk, and dangerous projects" he smirked at ruby who just stared back at him.

Opal cleared his throat and began assigning the new projects to each stoneheart

" Signal transmissions from Jarilo-VI have been detected by the IPC, Due to it's isolated and dangerous natural environment, Jarilo-VI lost contact with other worlds after the appearance of the Cancer of All Worlds."

He pointed to the documents he had distributed to each Stoneheart.

"We need someone to go down there and collect the overdue dept, and secure some properties for the IPC".

While the other stonehearts began to discuss the case topaz read the documents in silence, something about Jarilo-VI situation reminded her about her own home, That planet was extreme resource-poor. Therefore people need to worked laboriously, manufacturing product to created an export products to other civilizations in the universe. Most insisted on chemical and heavy industries. Which slowly turn planet to become a toxic environment. People with enough money buy tickets to leave a planet while the rest were waited for their death.

Until one day The IPC came to her home planet and use their technology to heal damaged environment. As an payment, all of the planet inhabitants become IPC employees. In only a few years after the contract, the planet biosphere is healed completely. She made up her mind "I'll take this case"

The other stonehearts turned to her in suprise. "That planet seems like a waste of time" Sugilite looked at topaz and closed the documents uninterested. "But it wouldn't be fair to simply ignore Jarilo-VI situation" pearl chimed in.

Aventurine leaned back in his chair "Jarilo-VI is is a high-risk, low-reward case, why bother to take it on. Your kind heart can be more of a liability than an asset in cases like this, dont you agree ruby?" Avebturni adjusted his glasses and smirked at ruby who's been quiet till now. The attention of the room shifte all gazes fell on ruby waiting for an answer "Jarilo-VI is indeed a high risk project, but, if topaz is confident in her abilities I don't see why she shouldn't try it"

Jade chuckled "I agree with ruby, if topaz wishes to take over the Jarilo-VI project, let her do it"

"Alright that settles it then, topaz will take over the Jarilo-VI project " opal declared "as for aventurine, we have an opertunity to reclaim what once belonged to the ipc, we received an invitation for the upcoming charmony festival in penacony, that seem like the right job for you don't you think?"

Aventurine tossed his poker chip in the air "quiet the risky gamble, high risk high rewards" he chuckled as he caught the chip.

Opal ended the meeting and everyone gathered to leave.

"Ruby, wait" called out to him as he stopped in his tracks and turned around. She walked up to him "thank you ...if you haven't spoke in my favor I probably wouldn't have gotten the chance to take the Jarilo-VI project"

Ruby stared at her for a moment "no need to thank me, if your confident in your abilities to handle this project there's no reason to deny you the opertunity, though, if you fail the consequences are on you" Tooaz smiled up at him "Don't worry I'm aware of the risks and consequences".

"Very well, good luck then" ruby nodded before turning around and walking off.

"I really advise against taking this project" Aventurines voice cut through the silence" topaz looked at him sharply "like you advised me to invest in this failed project" Aventurine chuckled "Oh come on your still mad about this".

............................

Later that night:

Ruby leaned against the wall of his living room gazing out the window as he recounted today's events to the other person on the call.

"Penacony huh?" A feminine voice mused on the other side of the line "so what are you planning to do?" Ruby asked "it's indeed very risky but I could ..."

He heared a chuckled from the other side of the line "no no, I'm sure they won't just let two stonerhearts check into the hotel, so leave this one to me, I'll be there anyways"

"Understood"

[warblogs17282]

Been thinking, and it's very easy to miss but I think these few frames suggest that Fizzarolli could've been victim of the golden child abuse tactic.

We know for a fact all that Cash cares about is how much Fizzarolli can make him because Fizzarolli was a great performing member of the circus, plus the fact that Cash was instantly willing to sell Fizzarolli to Paimon for the day, before Paimon clarified that Stolas was interested in Blitz. The fact that Cash placed entirely different monetary values on Fizzarolli and Blitz in that scene just confirms that Cash only sees their value as how much money they can make Cash, not caring for their value as people.

I'll be referencing from the link at the bottom regarding this, so check that out if you want to. A part of it that I think is heavily relevant here is 'Golden children are usually raised by narcissistic parents who are controlling and authoritarian. They coerce their child into being “perfect” by creating a toxic environment where the children do not feel safe voicing their own opinions or going against any rules. They also establish unreasonably high expectations for what their child should and should not be doing, putting large amounts of pressure on them to do what’s expected or face losing the love of their parents'.

We know that Cash is pretty much narcissistic, 100% controlling (as we can see with how he talks to Blitz when he tells him to steal, mainly that 'scary' comment), and with how Cash has acted so far there's a really strong shot he's heavily authoritarian as well.

We know that Cash will use coercion and manipulation to get them to do what he wants, as we can see by both the 'scary' comment and 'help me and your mama out' comment, so this was most likely used as well to keep Fizzarolli in line, to be 'perfect', to make Cash as much money as possible. The scary comment also makes me think that both of them don't really feel safe voicing their own opinions or going against the rules, as when Blitz tries to voice his concerns it instantly gets snuffed out by Cash's manipulation and coercion tactics.

Also, I'd like to mention that it's clear that Cash kept Blitz and Fizzarolli apart in the hospital, and then lied to Fizzarolli that Blitz did it on purpose to keep them both apart. We know that isolation is another abuser tactic, and the less relationships Fizzarolli builds, the less likely they are to realize the abuse and try to leave, so Cash doing that was also 100% an intentional move to keep Fizzarolli further under his control.

Again, Cash using manipulation and coercion tactics with Blitz also shows that he'd be willing to do it with Fizzarolli as well, putting pressure on Fizzarolli to perform well, to make Cash as much money as possible, and if Fizzarolli doesn't perform well, leading to Cash getting less money, Cash will see Fizzarolli having less worth to him, and will act colder to him as a result. aka losing the 'love' in a way.

tldr: I think Fizzarolli was also a victim of abuse by Cash, more specifically mainly the golden child tactic was used on Fizzarolli.

Check out this reblog for extra commentary about this:

[cialovesklopp]

prologue

❪ masterlist — ❫

summary — it's no secret anymore to anyone that follows f1 that mercedes is doing bad. something just isn't going the way it should. the silver arrows are going through a rough phase which leads toto to become a bit more creative about recrutement.

song — mercedes [ brent faiyaz ]

warnings — light mention of death and toxic environments

word counts — 5k

cia’s quick rambles — so sorry for the long wait, exams came up and i couldn't find enough time to edit this over. i'm so excited for this and hope i can make it justice to all the other good max stories.

— july 2023

there was always a certain sense of belonging that people attributed to specific persons or locations. often it was due to certain attachments and feelings people had grown for those persons or places that created this invisible bond. but it had never been like that for aaliyah. 

she failed to form connections, to embrace attachments to people or things. like a program glitch in a computer, she couldn't fulfill the command despite the correct codes. she never truly felt rooted in any place — she never belonged somewhere.

she was too smart to be here, to sit in a back with other people that attended this class of university. yet the fear of her own intellect hindered her from leaving it. going to university was like going to school again — one schedule and one job. nothing else to worry about for the moment. she was relieved of the concern for something else. 

going to university eased the pain of knowing that she felt like she would never belong somewhere. 

after her father died, all she had received for giving ao much love was rejection. as if an unspoken rule had been set up, that stated that aaliyah had been the cause for it. and it certainly screwed up the rest of the life she had lived till now. 

aaliyah had been destined to do great things — she remembered the way her middle school teachers told her that she would be the one to cure cancer. she had always been intelligent, not just smart — but terrifyingly intelligent. 

they would laugh if they saw her now and where she was. wasting her potential away at a simple university in munich. 

sometimes she looked out of the window and the resentment towards her family, especially her mother, burned hot in her stomach. getting lost in her thoughts meant her mind wandering off to far and opening boxes that were meant to stay closed. memories being replayed that contained secrets she wanted to take to her grave with her. 

she may be closed off towards others but it was an efficient way to live. to protect her heart from disappointment again. she did not have the space to let a lot of people in again. 

her heart had built a thick stone wall around itself after the accident. an accident, she would always blame herself for. everything was different from now: she was left with nothing but the void created by the loss of the only thing that held any meaning in her life.

now she felt like an empty shell of her former self, with no purpose or path to follow. the man who had said, a man with no purpose is no man knew what he was talking about. 

aaliyah was walking on an endless journey that seemed to have no finishing line, a particular hopelessness gripping her tighter with each step she took. and it felt like an invisible string was always pulling her back. 

tugging at her harshly till she fell back to where she started. it was a vicious circle, a haunting loop of pain — one that seemed to take no end. aaliyah was simply lost and no amount of therapy sessions could cure the inner pain she wandered around with. 

“just one more day,” aaliyah murmured to herself. it was her typical mantra she told herself everyday to calm herself down, to reassure her that she was not caught in her past life anymore. 

there were always the easier days and the harder days that needed assurance. days she passed on ease were often spent with eva. harder days however had her shivering in her bed, her entire body shaking and freezing. 

she sat down on her usual spot in her physics and thermodynamics that were part of her engineering degree, her mind shutting down again while her eyes travelled around the room. it felt good to be able to think of something else when your brain was working twenty-four seven. when thousands of thoughts travelled through her brain every second and seemed to over analyze every information too quickly. 

but something felt weirdly off today. the room was busy, full with more people than usual. this wasn’t a class for just anybody — people in here were ready to get their degrees in engineering. this class could compare to a harvard’s law class in terms of difficulty and intelligence. not everyone was able and allowed to take it and yet today the room was bustling with more people than usually. 

aaliyah noticed the long queue outside the door, filled plenty with faces that she had seen on campus but all unfamiliar to her. she was not one to usually look for socialisation when it wasn’t exactly necessary. in addition to that there was also a feeling of anticipation, lingering lightly in the air. she was curious what all the turmoil was about but at the same time, she was reminded of caution towards it. the less she knew, the less were the chances to be entangled in it. 

she smiled when her professor — who was her favorite — walked in and aaliyah instantly remarked that even he seemed excited about something. so she had definitely missed an important detail. but what exactly?

just like in every class, the professor began with reading out the attendance list, aaliyah lifting her hand to confirm her presence. she was surprised however when her professor then sent everyone else, that had not been named, out of the class. 

“everyone whose name i have not called for the attendance of my class may leave now. i’m sure you all have your classes where you’re supposed to be today,” said her professor loudly, so that even in the back it was clear who was welcomed and who was not. aaliyah turned around and was surprised by the large number of men who all walked out disappointedly.

the rest exchanged excited whispers, all giddy about something but she couldn’t care less. it wasn’t like she had any friends in her class anyway. she wasn’t the only girl that took this class but she was one of the few that seemed to excel in it. and for some universal reason, women found it easier to be jealous than to work together. 

their class started just like always, with one of them presenting their work about the mechanical piece they had been assigned to design as homework. the professor went on with his class, and aaliyah felt herself drifting off, her eyelids becoming heavier and heavier with every minute that passed. another impact of her insomnia that plagued her in the night. even running on several cups of coffee wasn’t doing it for her anymore, so that she resorted to sugar to stay awake. 

she flinched, jolting awake when there was a knock on their door. she watched the way her professor’s lips turned upwards, forming into a smirk as he turned towards the door. “come in,” he said and in walked a man, tall and formally dressed in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up and black pants. he oozed a certain air of authority that had everyone quieten. 

the atmosphere in the room changed instantly, aaliyah noticing her seat neighbour’s eyes widening but all she could observe was that he definitely did not belong here. he was definitely overdressed in comparison to her loose grey sweatpants that she had matched with a sweater that had yale university printed on. the irony of it. 

her professor greeted the man like an old friend, making it clear to aaliyah that the two knew each other and it wasn’t a mandatory visit like the others they had gotten. however to her she did not know of his significance, completely left in the dark. 

“so for today we have a special guest some of you may already know,” he interrupted them from their work, everyone stopping what they were currently doing to listen to him. “he is an old friend of mine and owed me a favor. but i’m going to let him present himself.” 

the instant the guest began to speak, aaliyah could immediately make his austrian accent out. she was sure to have seen the man somewhere before but her brain, that was usually running at one-eighty, was failing her tragically. 

“some of you may know me from racing, others just from motosport — but for the rest who do not: i am toto wolff and i’m the team chef of the mercedes-amg formula one team as well as the ceo of mercedes-benz motorsport.”

— so apparently, they had a celebrity in the room with them. explains the queue outside, aaliyah thought to herself. 

“for those who do not follow motorsport as much: formula one is the elite of what concerns motosport. it’s the best against the best that compete there and the world of f1 is constantly changing due to this. as eighth time constructor’s champions we know that and what is expected of us. but for you, who are the future of engineering, i think it’s important that you get a realistic insight into what that actually contains.”

aaliyah now understood what all the turmoil really was about. they didn’t just have anybody in front of them — they were speaking to engineering royalty. not in the sense of wolff actually working in engineering but he was the reason the best worked with the best. because they absolutely needed to excel. 

standing in front of them with their professor sitting down at his desk, he began to speak and tell them about the world of motorsport and the constant changing requirements they had to adapt to. he instantly had all of them hanging onto every of his words, captivating them with the way he spoke about the subject.

the main point of his entire talk was of course mercedes amg and its evolution; however he also highlighted the complexity of the entire motorsport business and how the industry actually worked. something that reality was hiding from them. it was a big field that covered all kinds of sections. aaliyah listened closely even though she didn’t see herself ever working in that kind of environment. 

who would even hire her?

when the talk ended and students were allowed to ask questions, she found herself drifting off again and started to sketch mindlessly into her college block. it wasn’t that she shied away or conceived her fellow students as annoying; she just found socialisation exhausting and it wasn’t like they were going out of her way to speak with her. 

her existence was only acknowledged by them when they required something from her, leaving her to always sit all alone in her row. her presence faded there into the loneliness and solitude she felt comfortable with. now she wouldn’t want to change it anymore. 

after the whole questioning round, toto challenged the class to design a specific piece for a car to apply what they had learned the entire semester long. something that aaliyah was able to do in her sleep now. it was one of the rare occasions where she liked to let her brain run crazy to overanalyze every detail. to say that aaliyah was a perfectionist would be a clear understatement. 

it was the curse of a mind that raced ahead of the rest, interpreting sometimes more than what was needed and leaving behind a lonely trail that she herself couldn’t always understand. 

it was no surprise to her that she finished her sketch earlier than the others. however instead of just leaving it like that and calling toto over to see if she had gotten it right — which she had of course — she continued to develop her idea, letting her mind do its own work. 

it wasn’t really refining that aaliyah was doing. the perfectionist in herself would call it stepping outside of comfort zones — and as long as it worked, no one cared anymore that there had been one. it was something her mother had taught her.

gloria, aaliyah’s mother was no saint. and she had enforced the lifestyle to aaliyah of finding loopholes in the system whenever she could. last time aaliyah had spoken to her had been two years ago, shortly before the accident. 

possessing the knowledge that her own mother did not come by to see how her daughter was doing who was fighting between life or death — that had done it for aaliyah. cutting her mother off had probably been one of the easiest and yet also things she had accomplished. it wasn’t exactly a secret but it also wasn’t something she just shared with anyone in order to let the deep-etched wound in her heart heal. 

the whole trauma-dumping aspect and all that.

caught up in her mind, aaliyah didn’t notice toto going around and looking at what the students had produced. his eyes stopped once they fell on aaliyah’s drawing and a slight look of surprise appeared on his face when he saw her drawing.

it was more like the astonishment and impression that appeared on his face when his eyes caught her sketch — he had given the same task to all the classes, especially those at harvard, and while they had all completed the task no one had ever thought further than the solution. 

just like math they had solved the equation; found the x and that was it. they did not think about the correlation in which the answer might be related with the task or how they could give it more depth.

toto walked back down to the front where the professor sat and pointed discreetly at aaliyah who still seemed caught up in her thoughts. 

“who is she?”

a mishevous twinkle lit up in the professor’s eyes. “ahh, that would be one of my students,” he retorted playfully. 

“i’m serious.” he replied with a dry chuckle.

the professor looked at aaliyah, studying her in an interesting way, trying to take her all in again. “the student you’re so interested in is aaliyah prince. she’s one of my top student.”

toto nodded, his brain processing the information. “she’s smart. you’re teaching them well.” 

“i can assure you she’s more than smart. it’s all her brain.” he had seen where toto wanted to go. one did not have to be an idiot or live behind the moon to know that mercedes was doing badly at the moment. 

and he would be lying if he denied his soft spot he had grown for the black student. especially after find out out what she had all gone through. 

the professor stood up, leaving toto with a perplexed expression. he cut the working phase in order for them to compare their results. aaliyah looked up and secretly took her airpods out to listen what they had to say.

she did not need any confirmation to know that her exercise was done correctly — it wasn’t really to sound (überheblich) but she had designed the same thing a hundred times before for exam preparation. so she only listened half-mindedly to what the others had to present. who were trying their best to impress the f1 team chef.

a small smile made its way onto her lips when she saw the message her best friend had sent her. with eva studying psychology and ethics, she often had more time than aaliyah and usually finished class earlier than her. and the two girls had started the habit to always get lunch together when possible — it was often the one thing aaliyah looked most forward to during the day. 

class finally ended and she was one of the first persons to pack her things together and leave however her professor had other plans. 

“frau prince, könnte ich kurz mit ihnen sprechen?” he asked her and aaliyah slowly trodded back into the room. she suppressed the growl her stomach let out and waited patiently for what her professor had to say. — could i speak to you quickly

her professor pointed to toto, who was still mustering her with a skeptical yet curious glance. “he is the one who would like to talk to you.”

“me?” she asked perplexed.

toto nodded. “your drawing was very impressive. you thought ahead of the task and developed it to make it more than just a simple design. that’s exactly what we need.”

“for what?”

“a job,” toto replied in a short way. “we need someone like you and you do seem to fill out all the requirements.”

aaliyah looked at him confusingly. “excuse me sir, i don’t want to be rude but do you usually give out jobs to students after giving a lecture?”

toto let out a small-wholehearted laugh. “no, i actually do not. you’re a special case i guess.”

was zum himmelswillen, aaliyah thought in her mind as she looked at the man in front of her. and people told her she was crazy sometimes. 

she pinched herself, just to make sure that she was not dreaming this and still in class and stared at toto with wide eyes. she was no one special, she did not come from huge money and she had a huge past that she would prefer if it stayed hidden. 

aaliyah couldn’t leave, even if she wanted to. all roads led back here anyway. 

“and this job… where and what would it be?” she inquired carefully. 

“i want you to become your new chief technical engineer. well not officially but i want you to fill someone’s position while they’re on personal vacation.”

her professor smirked at her whereas aaliyah’s face scrunched up in confusion. 

“i thought you needed the best of the best? i’m sure there are thousands of people who probably meet the requirements you have and have the actual experience. i know nothing about formula 1 and racing cars.”

“maybe but i think a fresh pair of eyes would do us some good. and i’ve been told you have a degree in physics which is incredible at her age.” he reached for his bag and pulled out a small green card. “think about it and then give me a call.”

“why me? if it’s because of the task, everyone finished it and got it correct.”

“but they didn’t think further than the basic task which you did. you thought ahead, developed your starting idea and that’s exactly what we need right now. innovation. someone to think outside of the box.”

he bid goodbye to her professor, waved one last time to aaliyah with a small smile and then left the room. her eyes did not leave the door, even after he had left the room as she stared into the distance. she had already forgotten eva and their planned lunch date. 

she looked at the card in front of her and turned it around to inspect it more. it was probably the weirdest thing to have happened to her in the past two years. 

the thought of leaving, as nice as it sounded, also terrified her deeply. petrified her mind when she wondered whether she could. she had rebuilt a life here, created a new identity that was not instantly connected with the pain and trauma she had to go through. 

she wasn’t aaliyah, the stupid girl from back home anymore. who had mistaken attachment for love and fallen deeply into a trap that could be described as the demise of her life. the peripety if her life story was ever made into a movie. 

“i can see the wheels turning in your head from here,” her professor tore her out of her thoughts and aaliyah turned. 

she let out a small chuckle, staring at the card in front of her. “this is probably the weirdest thing that has happened to me since i started here.”

“could also be seen as the best thing,” her professor replied. 

“i don’t know how smart it is to start something else when i haven’t finished this. finished here.”

“aaliyah, you’ve always dreamed of doing this, getting out of here. and somebody just handed you your way out of here on a golden plate.”

aaliyah put the card into her bag. “not everything that shines is usually gold. this could hurt me in many ways if it backfires. and what about my degree?”

her professor waved dismissively. “i’ll simply write this down as a project. we’ll admit it as your fourth semester internship that you would have to do anyway.” 

it seemed easy, way too easy for aaliyah. it couldn’t be as simple as this. 

she grabbed her bag and was about to walk away when her professor called her back again. 

“aaliyah, please think about this. i know you probably think you do not deserve this but you do. let some happiness into your life again.”

“i’ll think about it.”

she nodded and exited the class. at least this time she would have something to tell eva in her class. she would rather drink acid than listen eva rant about her crazy sex escapades from last night.

the two girls were sitting on aaliyah’s bed in her bedroom, adorned with the soft rays of light as it took its descent and a bottle of wine between them with two glasses in front. they were sipping on the bordeaux liquid while she recounted what had happened to her today, the wine making aaliyah pour all her feelings out. 

the blonde sat across from her, listening patiently as she tried to console the black woman. too often the two found each other in this position, with eva either bringing the best wine or the cheapest vodka she could find. 

aaliyah always found a certain sort of solace and calm within her best friend. the two had met at a stupid frat party aaliyah had been forced to go by her roommate and had been inseparable since then. and over that time, eva had stayed by her side when she had gone through the endless trauma of her mother and had helped her get out of her toxic environment. 

they were connected through more than friendship at this point with the amount of shit the two had already gone through. 

“i have no idea what i’m going to do,” she sighed, swinging her glass absentmindedly. “it’s a good job offer — like i  want to do this but i can’t leave everything just here.”

“girl, the only thing i see is you sabotaging yourself again. i mean, what are you leaving here? your annoying class of misogynistic assholes? that sorry excuse of a woman that calls yourself your mother? i’m sorry honey but the only thing you would be leaving behind is me and i can take the family jet anytime if i wanna visit you.”

aaliyah threw a pillow at her best friend. “hey, they’re not all bad. we are five girls in my class.”

“and four of them choose to be jealous, racist bitches towards you,” eva replied sassily. “look, i get it. change can be scary as fuck and speaking as a philo-major, we humans don’t like stepping out of our comfort zones. but staying won’t make you any happier.”

she chewed on her bottom lip, taking in eva’s advise. “but you know how much they sacrificed for me, to come here and start over. how much it meant to him for me to do this.”

eva threw her arm around aaliyah, pulling her back  with the sudden force and making her nearly lose her drop her glass. "oh love, i can assure you the last your father probably wanted was for you to stick and waste your entire potential here. clinging to familiarity is never going to change things and it’s not gonna be the salvation you’re seeking so much.”

deep down aaliyah knew that eva was spot on with her analysis of her. but behind the truth hid so much more. aaliyah wasn’t looking for happiness and forgiveness anymore, she had accepted that she could never deserve his pardon. she had tried to forgive herself, to move on but she always stayed in the same spot. the huge amount of guilt that paralyzed her from moving on would never allow her to thrive and live. because she was the reason someone else couldn’t. 

and that person deserved it so much more than she did. 

eva grabbed aaliyah’s hand. “i don’t want you to stay here because i know you’re not happy. this entire city will always remind you of them. and you’ll never get over it if you stay here. you deserve to thrive and let’s be honest, that’s not gonna happen here.”

“but even if — this job is just a lot. working there would mean constantly traveling and not settling down.”

“wasn’t it your dream to travel the world just like your dad? taking this job would make it ten times easier. it’s practically your ticket to do this.”

“so you really think i should take this leap?”

eva snorted. “i would be lying to you if i said i want this completely because you’re my best friend and i hate you leaving. but for you, yes. take this job and be happy. it’s not only what your dad would have wanted for you — micah would have wished for you to do the same.”

she nodded, disregarding the pang in her heart at the sound of his name. her presence here, away from the turmoil she'd created, stemmed from the cascade of events that led to his demise. a single misstep initiated the unraveling, each consequence toppling like dominoes until the crash. it all lead back to her.

when the last drops of bordeaux had been consumed by the two students, the blonde stood up and bid her goodbyes to aaliyah, announcing that she had an early morning tomorrow. eva hugged her once more and pressed a soft kiss on her cheek — a habit they had developed. 

“please promise me that you’ll think about it,” eva had murmured into her ear and aaliyah had nodded, which seemed enough to satisfy her. her best friend had left then and she found herself all alone again. 

taking this job seemed to be so easy, everyone she had talked to seemed to push her towards it. but it was almost too easy which frightened aaliyah so much. 

she was qualified enough for the job in terms of intelligence. the job was not completely out of world for her but she could not imagine herself leaving. her mind had twisted everything to the beautiful life she lived in that in the end was just an illusion -- but an illusion so ideal and perfect that she didn’t want to leave it. 

it was like knowing that one was wearing rose-colored glasses and deliberately leaving them on, with no regard for all the consequences it could cost. 

taking this job was a risk for her, she knew that much already. but eva was right, micah would have wanted this for her. and she owed it to him to at least try. no matter how big the impact of her fall would be. it was the least she could honor him with after destroying everything. 

accepting this position posed a gamble for her, she knew that much already. but eva was right. micah would've wanted this for her. she felt indebted to him, compelled to make the attempt, regardless of how big her potential downfall could be. it seemed the minimum homage she could offer after dismantling everything.

it was way past eleven when aaliyah grabbed the card toto had given her earlier and her phone and tipped in his number. she was anxiously tipping her foot as she waited for the caller to take the call and was surprised when it only had to ring three times. 

it was now or never. 

“hello?” a hoarse voice asked on the telephone and aaliyah innerly groaned. people were sleeping at this hour, of course it was the wrong timing. 

“this is aaliyah, the girl you offered a job today sir,” she said nervously. 

toto gave a small laugh. “yeah, i remember and you really don’t have to call me sir.”

she nodded even though he couldn’t see her. “okay, understood. i just -- well, i wanted to inform you that i’m taking it. the job as interim chief technical engineer.”

“i’m very happy to know that you’re accepting my offer.”

there was no going back now, aaliyah realized. she had taken the first step towards a vast mountain that had no way to return back. there was only one path and she had just sealed her fate by taking it. 

“yeah, i just hope i won’t regret it.”

“i have no doubts that you’re going to excel. but remember: formula one is ruthless and you’re competing with the best now.”

if she had known before, how far people were willing to go to win, she definitely wouldn't have taken the position.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Things that Ed actually did wrong:

Was a shitty overworking boss for a bit, in a way that was concerning for everyone because they know he's not normally like that

Got so wrapped up in the social mores of violent piracy that he failed to realize Fang wasn't enjoying violent pirate game

Good representative in general of how self-hatred can make you act selfishly at times and hurt others because you care so much about hurting yourself it hardly registers

Pointed a gun at employees, which was more concerning mostly because he was obviously working up the guts to point it at himself. just not an osha compliant situation all-around

on that note. created a toxic work environment

I am tempted to count some of the decor on that we see on his ship in s1e3-s1e4 as a crime. why are there spikes strapped to the railing, someone is going to get spiked in the hand?? what's up with the fucking iron maiden in your room edward?

Things that some people in this fandom think Ed did wrong:

was unreceptive to someone who has been terrible to him for years telling him he "had love" for him

was just born evil idk

[lisbeth-kk]

Serenity After the Turmoil

TW: domestic violence, nightmares. (not graphic)

Sherlock fandom

The nightmares have been constant companions from early childhood. Back then it had mostly to do with monsters under the bed, which later was traded for more violent ones. It didn’t help matters that my parents quarrelled loudly either. I still remember the first time I heard my father slap my mother. It made me nauseous, scared and angry. I wanted to get out of bed to make him stop, but I was only ten and so much smaller than him.

At uni, I got a respite from the nightmares. The most violent my dreams got, was reliving rugby matches. 

In Afghanistan, I didn’t dream at all. At least I never remembered anything when I woke. Too tired and exhausted from stitching up patients and keeping my body fit with a strict exercise regime.

It was when I got back to London that my real nightmares began. They were mostly related to the war, but particularly nasty episodes from my parents’ fighting interfered occasionally. 

Waking up from these dreams, did nothing to ease my agony. I had thought that surrounding myself with bright coloured pictures and photos would be a good idea. To make my brain see sense. To realise where I was. To calm me. I was an idiot.

***

The first time I had a nightmare at Baker Street, I apparently cried out loud, because Sherlock was kneeling beside my bed when I opened my eyes.

“You’re safe, John. Home. At Baker Street,” he said quietly.

His voice instantly calmed me before my self-conscious made itself heard. I blushed, tried to assure him I was fine. That he didn’t have to check on me.

“Alright,” he said and squeezed my shoulder before he went downstairs.

Moments later he started to play his violin even if it was 2 am. 

“Thank you,” I whispered as tears run down my cheeks.

***

The next time it happened, my sub-consciousness must’ve been at play, because I only whimpered slightly when I woke. No sound was heard from downstairs.

Normally, it took me forever to calm down, and I didn’t want to wake Sherlock by descending to the kitchen to make tea at this hour. I opened my eyes and looked around the room. It was held in muted colours, which I realised had a much more soothing effect than my brightly coloured bedsit.

I didn’t know if it was Mrs. Hudson who’d been in charge of choosing everything, but I thought it might be. My room was quite similar to the rest of the flat when it came to colours and furniture. The only splash of colour was the smiley face in the living room.

To my surprise I heard Sherlock start to play downstairs. Had he heard me, or was he unable to sleep himself? He had warned me that he played the violin at odd hours. I lay still for a while and listened to him play. They were all soothing melodies, nothing harsh like the things he used to play whenever Mycroft visited, or he was unable to solve a puzzle.

I debated with myself. Should I go down there to keep him company? To tell him how soothing it was to hear him play like this. How thankful I was for everything. How safe I felt, despite the toxic environment he created with some of his experiments, not to mention the body parts I found all over the place. Would he appreciate that, or just scoff at me and call me an idiot?

“Only one way to find out, Watson. Into battle,” I told myself and went downstairs.

--------------------------------

@flashfictionfridayofficial @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @calaisreno @raina-at

@helloliriels @safedistancefrombeingsmart @gregorovitch-adler @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear

@bs2sjh @meetinginsamarra @221beloved @jolieblack @phoenix27884

@ninasnakie @friday411 @a-victorian-girl

[bibibbon]

Hey Let play a game! I’m gonna say stuff about a character and you have to guess who this character (note:sorry for any grammar error)

1-He use his quirk on a person (who he act possessive over) when this person said no.

2-He act asshole towards Izuku.

3-He think Izuku doesn’t deserve OFA.

4-He mentored a boy who look oddly similar to this person he act possessive with.

5-He think he have the right to say about OFA.

6-He think he have to say about the life of a person (who , again act possessive) with excuse that “he care about him/that for his own good”.

You probably thinking I was talking about AFO

Wrong!

I was talking about Nighteye

( Obviously AFO is way worse person than Nighteye , but what I trying to say that if I was Yoichi/the OFA users I will feel uncomfortable and angry the way Nighteye acting towards All Might and Izuku (and Mirio) )

I am going to be so honest when I was first reading this. The first character that came to mind wasn't AFO, but it was Bakugo. That is until statement 4, and then I started to think of AFO.

Respectfully, I don't think Nighteye actually gets enough hate and criticism, and maybe that is due to the lack of screentime he gets within the story of MHA and how the narrative doesn't actually ever call nighteye out for his actions.

I believe that due to the narrative not actually calling out sir nighteye for his actions, most people forget just how much of a jerk he really is and overall nighteyes character goes to waste.

Rereading the overhaul arc and looking over sir Nighteye's character profile really caught my attention, especially with the way that Horikoshi chose to describe Nighteye as the "Japanese counterpart to an Americanised All might."

To me, it looked like horikoshi could have used both all Might and sir nighteyes characters to actively critique the core principles of hero society. Yes, they both try to do good, but we can actively see how much damage they have caused.

For example, both all Might and Sir nighteye perpetuate a toxic work environment where we see them overwork themselves and others to an unhealthy degree.

They are also both contrasts. All Might is shown to do the physical work. He is a symbol of strength and freedom, while nighteye is a symbol of dedication and laughter due to his love for jokes. They both have a personality surrounded by the idea of smiling all Might, smiling physically to comfort people, and sir, nighteye enjoying jokes that his workers and he makes.

Nighteye's work ethic is shown to be more cooperate toxic based, whereas all Might's is more physical toxic based.

Sure, they both had noble intentions at the start, but they also both caused a lot of damage to those around them and to themselves. Sir Nighteye's failures as a hero caused an entire fiasco when it came to Eri and the yakuza while All Might’s own failures as a hero caused for AFO to still be alive and for him to almost die.

They both have their own protégé whom they entrust their legacy to in hopes for a better future. Funnily enough, their protégé also resemble one another, and mirio resembles all Might while izuku resembles sir nighteye.

They're essentially two sides of the same coin when it comes to hero society of MHA and the series should of explored their clashing ideologies a lot more whether that be through both of them or through their own protégé mirio and izuku who ironically end up having two contrastingly different views when it comes to what action should of been taken to helping rescue Eri.

All might in the spotlight while Sir nighteye is in the shadow they are essentially the two halves that make up the hero side of hero society

As I mentioned before, sir, nighteye's toxic work ethic and environment that he facilitates in his agency should have been explored and should have been tied into the failures of the overhaul arc.

It seems that in a very disingenuous and cheap way to create a lighthearted and productive environment, Sir Nighteye goes to huge levels of extreme to create comedy and we see it as he literally has a torture type device called tickle hell that he uses to punish his workers if they aren't funny enough. This is the same mindset that a very toxic manager would have.

Sir Nighteye's work ethic also ends up being heavily problematic with him greenlighting a lot of things like children going to a professional yakuza raid or his poor communication skills when it comes to getting information across to everyone about the raid and assuming that because of his quirk he knows best so he has that superiority complex which causes him to talk down to people whether that be intentionally or not.

However, the series could have also explored the tragedy behind Sir Nighteye's quirk. The tragedy in having the power of knowing what will happen but not having the power to prevent it or not having the power to change the course of events.

I assume that, sir, nighteye some time in the past must of tested the limits to his quirk probably when he was a hero and it had a tragic outcome which would explain the reason why he seems to believe that the future cannot change and that what happens will happen. Something must of happend for nighteye someone with so much information to fall into a depressing doom of inevitability and for him to beg all Might to quit to at least look after himself to stop running to his own death.

In the end, it seems that all might and nighteye switch positions to an extent with sir nighteye dying and all might living. In the end, all of that information couldn't save nighteye at all, and in the end, nighteye died due to a chain of mistakes all of them could be linked back to the slow corruption of hero society.

[liviawildrose]

𝐟𝐢𝐫���𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬

trigger warning: mention of abuse, bullying

hello everyone, i’m livia wildrose. welcome back to my blog! today, i want to share four foundational steps that can help anyone find direction and purpose. these are the steps i’m taking to start my glow-up journey, and i believe they can be a powerful beginning for anyone on a similar path. having a sense of direction keeps us grounded and focused, even when life gets chaotic. so if you’re ready to start building a path that feels true to you, these four steps are here to help you begin with intention.

i truly believe that if each of us embraces these steps, we can gain a clearer sense of where we’re headed. having that clarity allows us to be more mindful and intentional with everything that comes our way. i hope these steps resonate with you as much as they have with me. thank you for being here, and let’s begin this journey together

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁

1. develop a growth mindset

you have control over your life ,you can be whoever you want to be. every broken heart, every broken part of you can heal. your circumstances, environment, trauma, toxic people, bullies they only have power as long as you allow them to. the moment you take that power back, you’re in control. build an internal locus of control you can shape your life, your mind, your body, your grades, your career, and the way you respond to challenges. it’s about developing control over yourself and your life.

stop blaming others and choosing to be the victim. yes, life can be incredibly hard, and some people make it worse, but if you want to grow beyond the hurt, you need to be your own savior. no one is going to come and rescue you from your problems you have to be the one who does it. take full accountability for your life. if things aren’t going well, it’s up to you to change them. at the end of the day, if “mean” people keep putting you down, part of the change comes from deciding to speak up for yourself, even if it’s hard. if you’re procrastinating or feeling stuck, it’s your responsibility to tackle it and get things done.

stop letting negativity win. listen, if i can get bullied by classmates, beaten down by family, called “lazy,” “ungrateful,” and “undeserving” by relatives, excluded from friend groups, and ridiculed for liking someone (he was single, by the way) all of which hurt my mental health and impacted my exams. yet, still find a way to stay positive and remind myself that none of this can define my future, believe me, you can do it, too. if you need more of my story, check out my get to know me blog post to understand where i’m coming from.

instead of staying stuck in self-pity, look for solutions. trust yourself, the solution is inside you. focus on the positive aspects and start making changes in your life.

many people don’t realize this, but really take a look at your body and your life. do you genuinely believe you can’t change? you can. you want to grow taller? listen to subliminals. you want to become wealthy? it’s possible. nothing is out of reach. this is your life. you are magic, and everything you need to succeed is already inside you. manifestation is real, and it all starts with the right mindset. remember: your thoughts create your reality.

2. fix your mindset

before anything, understand this: nothing is out of reach. you can be whoever you want to be. a simple but powerful exercise for this is writing down your limiting beliefs, then challenging them. for instance, if you think, “i can never be an actor because i don’t have connections,” flip that around, remind yourself of countless people who started from zero, with no connections, and went on to become major successes in the industry. keep writing down reasons why these beliefs aren’t true 10, 15, however many it takes. trick your brain into seeing possibilities instead of limits.

stop feeling jealous of other people. so many women put each other down out of jealousy, but we’re stronger when we lift each other up. someone else’s success doesn’t mean you’re failing, or that you’re worth any less. if another person can achieve something, so can you. don’t get insecure seeing someone your age “having it all together.” instead, let that inspire you. they worked hard, and so can you.

next, watch how you talk about yourself. even if it’s in a joke, stop saying things like, “i’m such a loser” or “i’ll probably fail this test.” i used to do this all the time, but now i’ve promised myself i’ll never say anything negative about myself, even as a joke. our words shape our reality, and so do our thoughts. instead, use affirmations. look in the mirror and tell yourself, “i am beautiful, i am smart, i am capable.” if no one else is saying these things to you, then say them to yourself—there’s nothing wrong with that.

practice gratitude. yes, my family has flaws, and sometimes they’re abusive. but i know there are people with far less. i have a family, food, a place to sleep and parents who support my education. that’s privilege, and i’m grateful for it.

be mindful about what you let into your life. what kind of music are you listening to? if it’s depressive, maybe switch it up. what are you watching? if it’s negative or disturbing, consider the impact it’s having on you. i used to watch a lot of horror and true crime, but i stopped when i realized how it was affecting my mental health. pay attention to the people around you, too. family might be non-negotiable, but you have choices with friends and partners. remember, you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

for me, even though my family hasn’t been the most emotionally supportive, i know that one day i’ll create a family of my own that’s filled with love and understanding. and that means being mindful of the people i let into my life, building my future with intention and purpose.

3. be delusional

i don’t care if people think it’s bad to be delusional. in fact, i think we all need to be a little delusional when it comes to our dreams. believe that something miraculous will happen and that things can change in amazing ways. believe in magic. it might sound far-fetched, but trust me, have faith in god, the universe, or whatever higher power you connect with. believe that something incredible will come your way, that you’ll land your dream job or meet the right person. let that belief fill you with hope, a hope that isn’t weighed down by pressure or doubt, but by a quiet confidence that things will work out.

when you believe in that magic, you start to dream more freely. and yes, i think i can be everything i want to be, without anyone’s permission. do you have a problem with that? because i don’t.

𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀

ask yourself: what do you truly want in life? what do you want to be? take a moment to write all of this down, whether in a journal or your notes app. reviewing your goals every single day can be a game changer. make it a habit to read through your written goals first thing in the morning. this simple act is incredibly powerful because it sets the tone for your day, aligning your mindset with your aspirations right from the start.

if you want to take it a step further, you can create a mind movie. so, what’s a mind movie? gather images that represent your goals and dreams. for instance, if you envision your dream body, find a photo that embodies that. if your goal is to be a singer, include pictures of artists who inspire you. compile these images into a video, displaying each one for about 2 to 4 seconds before transitioning to the next. layer your voice over this video, affirming statements like, “i have my dream body, and i’m so grateful for it.” “i am a world known singer” “i’m a grammy nominated artist”

watch this video every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to bed. this practice is incredibly potent. i plan to write a detailed blog about this process soon, so stay tuned!

the clearer you are about where you’re heading and what you want to achieve, the more likely you are to realize those dreams. many people lack this clarity, which can make it challenging to stay motivated. but when you know exactly what you want, it empowers you to take the next steps toward achieving those goals. once you have that clarity, the path will unfold before you; you just have to take it.

𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝘀, 𝗿𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝗻 𝗻𝗲𝗴𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲

1. rituals

create a ritual for yourself because you are a goddess, and every goddess deserves a sacred practice. rituals can be subtle or extravagant—it’s entirely up to you. the key is that they resonate with your goals and your life.

you can create a specific self-care ritual or do something that honors the life you aspire to have. for example, i want to be a singer so i start my day with a glass of warm water and honey to soothe my throat and hydrate my vocal cords. follow this with a cup of herbal tea known for its benefits to singers, like ginger or chamomile. this simple act is not just about drinking; it’s a way of saying, “i am nurturing my voice and preparing for the incredible career i’m destined for.”

perhaps you dream of being a model. in that case, you could include a detox drink in your morning routine, one that energizes and revitalizes you—something like a green smoothie or lemon water with apple cider vinegar. every time you sip it, remind yourself that you are embodying the health and vitality of a model.

you might also want to incorporate affirmations into your rituals. as you go about your morning routine, speak affirmations that align with your goals: “i am confident and radiant,” or “i attract opportunities that lead me to my dreams.” this will help you cultivate a mindset that’s aligned with your aspirations.

don’t forget to celebrate your rituals! you could set a specific day each week to reflect on your progress and how your rituals have helped you. light a candle or play your favorite music as you honor the work you’ve put into yourself and your journey. this celebration reinforces your commitment to your dreams and enhances your connection to your ritual.

the beauty of rituals is that they are entirely yours. whether you choose small, daily practices or grand, elaborate ceremonies, make them meaningful. by integrating these rituals into your life, you not only honor who you are but also actively participate in creating the reality you desire.

2. routine and schedule

create a routine that helps you get closer to your goals. having a structured schedule is essential, as it sets the foundation for your day and keeps you aligned with your aspirations.

for example, if you want to be a model, establish a morning routine that includes waking up early, dedicating time to your skincare regimen, and engaging in a workout that enhances your physique. consistency is key sticking to this routine will not only help you stay in shape but also instill discipline and determination.

your morning routine can be a sacred time for self-care and preparation. perhaps you wake up, drink a glass of water to hydrate, followed by a quick meditation or visualization of your goals. then, go on with your day, having a good schedule and goals planned already. you can use a bullet journal in order to plan your entire day and your goals for that day. i used to bullet journal in 2021 and i kid you not. It is the best thing you can do to keep yourself moving towards your goal. i’m planning to start bullet journaling again next year so expect a post regarding bullet journal too.

don’t forget about your night routine. this is equally important for winding down and reflecting on your day. consider incorporating activities that help you relax and recharge, such as journaling about your accomplishments or reviewing your goals for the next day. a calming skincare routine before bed is also a great way to pamper yourself and signal to your body that it’s time to rest.

developing a routine for your daily tasks can also keep you organized and focused. allocate specific times for studying, practicing your craft, or engaging in creative projects related to your dreams. having this structure allows you to prioritize what truly matters and helps you eliminate distractions.

establishing a routine not only gives you clarity but also enhances your mindset. when you stick to your plan, you cultivate a sense of achievement and purpose, which can greatly influence your overall outlook on life. you’ll find that having a routine helps you stay more focused, reduces decision fatigue, and empowers you to take actionable steps toward your goals. i’ll share all my routine too (skincare, haircare, morning, night, workout, daily) and also tell y’all how you can do it.

remember, your routine is a reflection of who you are and who you aspire to be. customize it to fit your lifestyle and needs, and don’t be afraid to adjust it as you grow. with a solid routine in place, you’ll be well on your way to transforming your dreams into reality

3. non negotiables

boundaries are like the protective walls you build to guard your energy, self-respect, and peace. they’re essential, even if it means certain people may not agree or may choose to distance themselves. setting non-negotiables helps you uphold your standards for how you want to be treated not only by others but also by yourself. it’s a form of self-care and a way to ensure you stay aligned with your goals.

first, let’s talk about boundaries with others. there are certain things that no one should get away with, like disrespect or attempts to undermine your goals. start by listing all the things that are non-negotiable for you things you absolutely won’t tolerate in your friendships, relationships, or even with family. these can be simple yet significant rules, like refusing to let anyone talk down to you, or being firm about not letting others intrude on your personal time.

when it comes to family, boundaries can be tricky. like i said, in certain environments, we sometimes have to navigate things carefully to preserve our boundaries. for example, i try to keep things balanced at home by focusing on my achievements and being mindful of how i react. when i accomplish something, i notice my family is more likely to treat me with respect and actually listen to my words. it’s a compromise i make for now staying obedient to avoid unnecessary conflicts because it helps preserve a boundary of mine: no one gets to shout at or berate me. you can say i made a promise to myself to start achieving more and becoming better every single day because people respect people who respect themselves. if i am achieving more and becoming better, that shows that i respect myself and my goals and simultaneously people will start respecting me too.

next, let’s dive into boundaries with yourself. setting standards for how you treat yourself is equally important. promise yourself that no one’s words will be allowed to crumble your confidence. this boundary with yourself is about self-discipline: it’s deciding you’ll never give up your truth or your voice. you are here to live your life on your terms. a personal boundary like “i will always speak up for what i believe in” is a powerful rule that can shape your character and self-esteem. another boundary could be to avoid people-pleasing at the cost of your own peace.

then there are the little rituals and standards you set for yourself. they might seem minor, but they help ground you and bring consistency. it could be as simple as “i won’t start my day until i’ve brushed my teeth” or “i’ll spend 10 minutes meditating every night.” these routines may seem small, but they’re symbolic each one represents respect for yourself and your own time.

and then, there are your true non-negotiables things that you will not compromise on for anyone. for example, i won’t text or talk to a guy late at night, especially if it’s a casual situation. my late-night hours are for me or for those who are deeply close to me, and that’s not something i change based on who wants my time. another non-negotiable might be unfriending people who stay close with someone who has bullied or hurt you. i’m not here to tell anyone who to be friends with, but if you’re friends with someone who tore me down, we’re probably not compatible as friends.

having non-negotiables is like setting up a shield around your life; it’s saying “this is my space, and only the people who respect my values get to be here.” these are your standards, your way of ensuring that the energy around you is as uplifting and supportive as you deserve. boundaries and non-negotiables are not selfish they’re essential for building a life that aligns with your true self.

𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗴𝗼

let’s talk about alter egos. you might be wondering, “what exactly is an alter ego?” an alter ego is like the boldest, most fearless, unapologetically powerful version of yourself. think of this person as everything you aspire to be. they have unshakeable confidence, strong boundaries, and a fierce mindset. they embody the qualities you admire and inspire you to step out of your comfort zone.

for me, it’s livia wildrose. and, i get it, you might’ve thought that was my real name, but it’s actually a name i crafted to embody the energy and vision i hold for my future self. livia wildrose is the woman who’s already achieved her dreams. she’s not afraid to stand tall, voice her opinions, and own her worth. she’s the energy i channel when i need a reminder of what i’m capable of.

name them – the name you choose for your alter ego is important. it should feel powerful, unique, and representative of the qualities you want to embody. make sure it’s a name that sparks something in you a name that makes you feel inspired, unstoppable, and totally you.

give them qualities – now, think about the traits your alter ego possesses. are they fearless? disciplined? resilient? write down all the qualities that align with the best version of yourself. maybe your alter ego is kind but firm, strong-willed yet compassionate, confident yet humble. paint a vivid picture of who they are.

define their habits – your alter ego has certain routines, habits, and even preferences. they might have a morning ritual, a daily workout, or even a specific way they respond to negativity. think about what kind of routines your alter ego would follow to keep themselves grounded and motivated.

dress the part – if you feel like your alter ego is more stylish, edgy, or polished than you are now, start integrating little pieces of that style into your wardrobe. it doesn’t have to be extreme, just subtle touches that remind you of who you’re stepping into.

speak and act as them – whenever you feel anxious or unsure, tap into your alter ego’s confidence. ask yourself, what would they say? how would they handle this situation? eventually, this confidence will blend into your true self, helping you handle challenges with strength and grace.

channel them daily – every time you face self-doubt or feel unmotivated, call on your alter ego. think of them as your personal mentor, the voice in your head that says, “you’ve got this.” with time, this alter ego becomes a natural part of you, merging seamlessly with who you are becoming. ask yourself “what would [alter ego name] do?

by creating an alter ego, you’re giving yourself permission to dream bigger, stand taller, and walk confidently in the direction of your goals. it’s like summoning the courage and drive you need from within, a powerful reminder of your limitless potential. so if you haven’t already, consider creating your own alter ego. name them, define them, and let them guide you. remember, they’re already within you, waiting for you to let them shine. I have channelled my alter ego so such that now i think she’s me i’m her, lol.

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