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readinginthereadyroom · 3 years ago

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let’s talk about 9-1-1 buddie headcanons:

- eddie gets rid of his truck. christopher is getting older and wants more independence so he gets something with better clearance. and I’ve decided that something is a dodge durango. eddie is actually really into it. can’t stop talking about the fold down seats and towing capabilities. buck teases him and calls it his soccer mom van. then immediately starts researching CP-friendly soccer leagues for chris.

- buck strikes me as a podcast kinda guy. I feel like a lot of his random facts probably start with information learned via podcast and then researched separately on google or wikipedia.

- luddite eddie my beloved. but not like luddite luddite. eddie’s a millennial so I see him as okay with all the 20th century technology he grew up with and just not all the newfangled smart home/internet gaming stuff.

- abuela gives eddie an old turntable and a box of records and he falls in love with it. likes to play spanish love songs while cleaning on the weekends.

- eddie breaks up with ana. he does it quietly and cordially a couple weeks after the sniper incident.

- buck and taylor date for a little while but never really take off. and it’s super important that it’s buck who makes the decision to break up. they both have very busy lives and different priorities. and taylor acknowledges she probably shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place. she just hated to see buck so broken and wanted to comfort him. they decide they are better as friends.

- bosko and eddie friendship rights! eddie actually apologizes to her and they become gym buddies. lena stops going to the junkyard fights and finds an MMA gym that she’ll take eddie to. during the pandemic they somehow find themselves doing socially distanced tai-chi in the park. they keep it up once the gyms reopen.

- side note: lena does in fact get a cat. he’s a huge floofy maine coon named sarge who absolutely adores eddie. rubs his head all over him and immediately worms his way into his lap when eddie visits. he hisses at buck tho and lena finds it endlessly hilarious.

- demisexual eddie! I like the idea of lena no-nonsense asking eddie if he’s ace one day and eddie just having an internal panic attack but not being able to figure out why. karen gently brings it up few months later and he’s just deny deny deny. then he overhears david telling michael that he gives off ace vibes and that’s the last straw. so eddie pulls a full buck and starts researching just to prove everyone wrong. except it’s like a lightbulb clicks on and yeah. maybe there’s something to this.

- eddie and karen have a book club every other week. usually novellas or a short story collection. queer theory and literary fiction. the occasional poetry book. at some point they invite david to join them. they also have a not-so-secret romance novel exchange because they are big saps.

- eddie is also a sucker for a really good cup of black coffee. has a favorite hole-in-the-wall cafe where he buys beans in bulk. buck calls it his diesel fuel drink and grimaces at the taste. he prefers simple oatmilk latte from the place near the station. and yet buck always seems to know what days eddie will be running late and rushing to work and has a cup from said hole-in-the-wall coffee waiting. despite it not being on buck’s route.

- christopher loves buck’s loft. buck keeps a stash of toys and coloring books in his coffee table trunk for when he visits. chris sees the stairs as a fun challenge and will often ask to go up and sit on buck’s bed to watch the city. or sit on the patio while buck bbq’s dinner for the three of them. he thinks it’s the coolest house ever.

- buck actually rides his bike. it’s not just for show. especially after the pandemic hit. he likes to go out in the mornings. drives to a nearby trail on his days off and enjoys the scenery while the sun comes up. sometimes eddie and chris meet him there after his ride and they have a breakfast picnic.

- the diaz-buckley-han’s share one netflix account. it’s technically buck’s in that he pays for it, but when maddie moved to LA he set her up with her own profile. then logged into his account at eddie’s one day and never logged out. renamed the profile buck & eddie after he setup a kid’s profile specifically for chris. then after learning about maddie and chim’s not-dating buff-fridays, buck put both their names on her profile as a prank. and then it just stayed that way. jee-yun even has a profile despite being a literal infant that doesn’t watch tv. maddie cried when she saw it.

- buck takes the legal guardianship thing very seriously. he’s already really involved in essentially co-parenting chris but he starts getting really nervous about asking invasive questions about chris’ medical history. so eddie sits him down with chris and the three of them talk about it. eddie very specifically asks chris if he’s okay with sharing that kind of info with buck. because even tho christopher’s a kid eddie always wants him to have a say in his own health decisions. then he has a more in-depth convo with just buck about insurance and bills and doctor’s visits. makes sure buck has access to all of it.

- chris played secret matchmaker. went to his old friend santa claus and asked if buck would stay forever. santa came thru, as always.

- also carla knows. buck starts spending more nights at the diaz house and one morning she lets herself in and sees buck coming out of eddie’s room in just a pair of sweatpants. she gives him a coy eyebrow raise and buck blushes. then she just laughs, pats his cheek affectionately, and says your secret’s safe with me buckaroo. when a bleary-eyed eddie wanders out a half hour later she pushes a cup of coffee into his hands, waits a few moments, looks eddie dead in the eyes, and points at buck. I see you took my advice. eddie chokes on his coffee.

- speaking of carla she is family. she and her husband are regular guests at the 118 get-togethers, holidays at the firehouse, and family meals. she occasionally takes on other clients, but she’s mostly exclusive to the diazes these days. esp as christopher gets older and wants more independence. she’s been around since he was 7 and he’s comfortable with her. she stays his home heath care aide until she retires. then she personally vets a new one. because not just anyone will do for her boy. they throw her a huge retirement party.

- gonna jump into the future because christopher absolutely names his daughter carla shannon buckley-diaz. there isn’t a dry eye in the house.

- and I don’t actually see chris calling buck pops or anything. he’s just his buck. tho I can see eddie asking christopher if he wants to hyphenate his last name when buck officially adopts him. buck’s his hero so chris is 100% onboard.

- buck and eddie don’t have more kids. eddie never wanted more and buck is surrounded by the ever-expanding horde of firefam kids. they love their little trio.

- also eddie is hilariously terrible with other kids. he just. doesn’t know how to talk to them. he’s literally the best father ever with christopher, but any other kid and he’s all awkward hello small human. it’s also the reason the team sends buck to handle kid rescues. he knows how to speak to kids and they light up around his sunshine energy. but then there are certain kids who just glom onto eddie. usually the quiet ones. they find something about his calm dad presence very soothing so they just cling to him until buck can coax them around.

- I do not see the buckley-diazes getting a pet. buck and eddie work long shifts and it’s not fair to put that kind of extra responsibility on carla when her job is to care for chris. however, as chris gets older he does get a mobility service dog to help with counterbalance. she’s a golden retriever named stella and she’s a very good girl.

- buck proposes by accident. they’re at the park with christopher and marriage just sorta comes up during one of his infodumps. eddie is eating his sandwich, nodding along, and just casually says of course I want to marry you. buck stops talking. christopher giggles. eddie panics. but when he looks at buck he’s all puppy-eyed and hopeful. you do? eddie nods. chris chimes in with a stage whispered ask properly buck and say yes dad. so they do.

#been doing some more eddie meta lately so these are an extension of that #honestly I probably have even more but I'm gonna stop #buddie #eddie diaz #evan 'buck' buckley #christopher diaz #carla price #lena bosko #911 what's queue emergency?#writing in the ready room #911 fox #9-1-1

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pvtrichors · 4 years ago

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CHASE STOKES , 28 , HE/HIM/HIS , CIS MAN | hey is that SMITH ST. THOMAS ? i think i’ve seen the 25 year old walking around THE CUT , so i guess that means they’re a POGUE right? apparently if the weather’s right, you can find them WEARING A BLACK EYE LIKE A BADGE OF HONOR , which makes sense since they’ve got the whole SECRETS BARELY KEPT BEHIND A SPLIT LIP, SKETCHBOOK HIDDEN UNDER THE MATTRESS & FREEZING UP WHEN YOU ASK HIM TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL thing about them . if people had background music , their song would definitely be SWING LIFE AWAY BY MACHINE GUN KELLY FT. KELLIN QUINN

Smith is the oldest of four children, but his story only allows for the mention of the three of them that remain living and breathing. When they were kids, the four of them were inseparable, and they defined what it was like to make the best of what you had, even when what you had was next to nothing. That only got worse when he shared some details of his life with his father, who didn't know what to do with them. The night changed the lives everyone involved, and it lives rent free in the nightmares of all the siblings, and etched in the scars on his skin.

Tragedy seemed to have a taste for them after that. Smith gave up his dreams of pursuing the countless acceptance letters to art schools around the country to stay and do what he had to help his mother raise his siblings, and support their home. He was just over nineteen when he got the call about the accident, the rain that would tear his already wounded family apart again. If he had to pick a day that was the hardest yet, it was probably the day they buried his mother and sister, side by side.

Soon, the responsibility of the entire family fell on his shoulders, and he turned to any job that he could work, running himself ragged. Eventually, he found the underground boxing ring that was about two hours outside of their quiet little city. He disappears two Sunday's a month and usually comes back in pieces, but his pockets are full enough to maintain what he needs, and continue to try and encourage his younger siblings to succeed where he feels he never would, or could.

WC: While usually his younger brother is the one responsible for patching him up, or driving the two hours out of town to get him when he can't seem to get himself home after a particularly ugly fight, there has been someone else from time to time. After all, his mother always said that it was important to plan for a back up, and that was something that she very much instilled in her boys. They stopped by the house after one of his fights and noticed that one of his wounds looked like it needed stitches, and of course, the price for those stitches (regardless of whether they were homemade or not), was the truth behind the colossal ass beating he clearly received, and the bag of cash that he'd left at his feet. The rest is history, but one day it might become a little hard to ignore the fact that someone is willing to take care of him the way that he takes care of everyone else.

homophobia, domestic violence, abandonment, suicide mention, death tw

Mattheiu blood made you special, Caroline had grown up being told this lovely little tidbit her entire life. it was designed to create a superiority complex within her, something that would eventually trick her into thinking she was better, worth more, just because of her family’s legacy, or maybe the silver spoon they kept trying to force into her mouth. regardless, none of it worked, but she was daddy’s girl, the first daughter, and the one who could have easily gotten away with murder with a smile and a turn of her lashes.

murder, however, was the last thing that Caroline was capable of. instead, she was a beacon of hope, and warmth. the woman she became was the kind of person that everyone wanted to be around, infectious in all the best ways, with a smile that could have easily lit up the entire island, and a laugh that made even the most broken feel whole again. that’s what david had said he fell in love with first. they had the sort of storybook romance that made her parents weary, wanting nothing more to pay the man off like the problem he was, but not willing to risk losing their daughter in the process.

so, they tolerated the marriage, eventually giving it their blessing, but barely. their affairs were wrapped up tight, essentially cutting their darling daughter off for her choices, but she didn’t care. she always wanted happiness more than wealth, and that never changed. eventually, smith was the first born, followed by his brother Monroe, and then the twins, Kase and Dallas. growing up, he watched both his parents work themselves to near exhaustion to make sure the kids were well taken care of, and foolishly enough, he thought that dedication would never waver.

for Caroline, it didn’t. her love knew no boundaries or conditions, but David, David was much more tied up in societies standards, in what people would think when they found out the truth about his eldest son, the one that had been their pride and joy as well. the one thing Smith did not expect as he sat at the dinner table, expressing himself, and finally telling the truth he’d be playing so close to the vest, was the beating that followed. dishes flew, the table was flipped, and by all means, he should have went to the hospital that night by the time they’d finally managed to pull his ‘father’ off of him.

instead, shame said he’d be treated under the table, and his siblings would never really find the right combination of unhealthy coping mechanisms and therapy to heal their scars. Caroline forced David to leave that same night, and he never came back. his name was erased from their vocabulary, leaving him powerless in their household, as their mother was left with the lesson to learn, the lesson that her family would still have her learn the hard way. after he’d finally put himself back together enough to function, smith became her support system.

he gave up the acceptance letters to schools he’d dreamed of most of his life without the blink of an eye, doing what he loved (the art school in the city), to stay home and harbor the responsibility of taking care of their family. apparently, that tragedy wasn’t enough, because months later his mother and and the twins were on their way to the babysitter when a car accident took away whatever he’d had left. his mother, and his sister, didn’t make it, while he and Monroe were left with survivor’s guilt and a promise of life insurance money he wasn’t sure would ever come (like that was supposed to somehow fill the hole in them, now).

they liked to think that kase was none the wiser, but even the youngest in their little clan could feel the way the world around them had seemed to shatter. now, they were lost, and there was no real way to get around that. well, no way that every truly made sense, and no clear path to lead them back to where they all once could, and should have been. fate was cruel, and people liked to cling to their religion, often shoving it at the boys unsuccessfully, but it didn’t make a difference, not really.

eventually, roe would go to rehab for the ways he’d tried to cope with it all (two failed suicide attempts, with just the right sprinkling of a drug problem), and smith would continue to work through it, with another bill to pay. he never learned to drive (the last time someone tried to teach him, it ended in a panic attack that was only barely talked down, and nursed for days with good weed and white wine - his mothers old trick, a hippie at heart) , shying away from the things that had been taken from him, and instead reserved to the fact that sometimes, you had to make a deal with the devil to really make it.

his deal with the devil came when they nearly had the electricity turned off, because no matter how many jobs he was working, he still couldn’t afford to keep them afloat. apparently, his decision to eat that week instead of light the hallways was a poor one, in retrospect. thankfully, someone, or something, saw fit to let him stumble upon the hidden underground that would eventually open a door for what had once been a soft boy to bury his real scars under bruises. the boxing ring was two hours away, safe enough to keep him away from prying eyes, but very, very close to cash he wouldn’t have touched otherwise.

at first, he slipped over himself to explain the bloody lip, the black eyes, but eventually the truth became don’t ask, don’t tell to most that ever dared to ask the question. so now, only monroe and one other knows about his little secret, the occupation that could, and probably will eventually take his ability to embrace his passion from art (bruised knuckles only heal right so many times) and paying to keep his brothers alive with his own pound of flesh, even if that came at the expense of what used to be a soft heart.

#banks.intro #❪ ⠀ ♡ ⠀ ┆ ❝I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO PAINT MY PAIN IN PRETTY ENOUGH COLORS. ❞ ╱ ⠀ ABOUT. ⠀ ❫

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gayboy-selfships-archive · 4 years ago

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It’s Not About the Money Anymore (A Waylon Smithers x Self Insert Fiction) Chapter One

Everyone at Stellaluceat Manor could remember as clear as day when Audrey Joseph Stellaluceat returned to the manor. He hadn’t stepped foot in the place since he had turned 18. Nobody had ever expected them to return, but after his parents' untimely death, he had no problem returning home.

Mrs. Diane, the head maid, was the first to meet Audrey. And the first thing Audrey did was fire her.

“I’m sorry what?”

“I said you’re fired. You...and everyone else,” Audrey replied, not even looking up from his clipboard.

“But why?”

“I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. I’ve been living on my own for 20 years, I don’t need people to cook and clean for me.”

“With all due respect, sir, I really need this job to feed my children. And I’ve been working for this family since I was young. At least let me stay.”

Audrey looked up with a puzzled look.

“You mean to tell me that you want to work here?”

Mrs. Diane nodded.

“Hmm...and other people feel the same way?”

“I’m sure they do sir.”

“Okay...Well tell all the staff that if they want to leave they’re welcome to and they will be offered a severance pay of 10 thousand and anyone who stays will receive a significant raise and..” Audrey leafed through the papers before him and scowled, “actual medical and dental benefits since you don’t even have a fucking a heath insurance plan.”

“Oh. Thank you so much, sir”

“Sorry I’m giving you all these tasks. Once I get a personal assistant you won't have to run these errands.”

“I don’t mind, sir”

“Please, call me Audrey, you have been working here since I was a baby.”

For the first time since he had moved in, Audrey showed a genuine smile, though it was quickly gone as he returned to business.

“Anyways, please take care of that, I have much to attend to before I retire for the night.”

Mrs. Diane nodded and excused herself to call the rest of the staff in for a meeting.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night found Audrey by the piano, plucking out an old tune that he had heard his mother sing many times before. The handful of maids and butlers gathered around the door to the room that held the old grand piano. Diane was the only one brave enough to walk into the room and stand by the piano as he played.

“You’re quite good at that, sir.”

“Ah, it’s just an old lullaby. Besides, the piano needs tuning.”

Diane nodded, “I can call someone to take care of that.”

“I’ll worry about that in the morning. Shouldn’t you be home by now?”

“Oh I don’t leave until the master is asleep.”

“Diane, you must have lost your mind. Go home. You’ll be lucky if I’m in bed by 2.”

“Are you sure, sir?”

“Please call me, Audrey, you could be my mother. Go home. And tell everyone else to get out unless they have a good reason to stay.”

“Of course sir.”

Over the next couple of years, Stellaluceat did everything in his power to reform his father's business. He donated most of what he made to charities, making sure he had just enough to eat, make his workers comfortable, and pay the rent. He would spoil himself occasionally and throw parties, though those parties were always benefits of some kind. He was happy and things were going okay for once.

Waylon Smithers was not as lucky. After what felt like thousands of years working for Montgomery Burns, he had been kicked to the curb. He thought at first that this was simply his bosses impulsive decisions but after a week without so much of a peep from Burns he felt like he would never so much as see Monty’s face again. It was as heartbreaking as it was ruining. Montgomery had been so much more than a boss and now he was facing the possibility of never seeing him again.

But Waylon couldn’t wallow in self pity forever (and trust me, he would if he could), he had to start looking for a new position. Days turned to weeks as he failed interview after interview. Never finding a post that fit him right.

That’s when he found, Audrey Stellaluceat’s ad in the paper. It proclaimed that the rich owner of a local tech company was looking for an assistant to help run things at his company.

Waylon felt drawn to the ad. He didn’t know what it was but the thought of having a job that's almost just like the one he had with Burns was very comforting. Plus he could have sworn the name Stellaluceat was familiar.

Maybe a change would be good for him.

When he arrived at the Stellaluceat Manor, he was greeted by a woman who introduced herself as Mrs. Diane and led him to Audrey’s study.

“Audrey? You have another interview.”

“Send him in.”

When Waylon walked into Stellaluceat’s study, Audrey had his chair turned away, towards the window.

“Name?”

“I’m Waylon Smithers, sir.”

The sound of ruffling papers stilled.

“Waylon Smithers?”

Audrey turned in his chair and stood, eyeing the man in his study with mild shock and confusion.

“Auddie?” Waylon gulped, surprised to find the boy he used to play kickball with, standing before him, “I haven’t seen you since your parents sent you to boarding school.”

Waylon has expected a hug after 28 long years of being apart. At least a smile, some sign that Audrey had missed him but instead he simply scowled at the unpleasant memory of his parents and resumed his seat.

“Yes, I suppose it has been awhile,” Audrey stated simply setting his papers on his desk, “I’m assuming you're here for the assistant's position?”

Wayon nodded, feeling more than a little dejected from the lack of excitement Audrey had displayed upon reuniting. Well he had given Audrey less and less thought over the years, they had been quite good friends growing up. They were usually the only children to attend the high society banquets that Audrey's parents and Mr. Burns would drag them too. They had also bonded over their effeminacy at a young age, always playing with Malibu Stacy dolls together. But now, Waylon wasn’t offered so much as a smile. The Audrey before him was no longer a soft, playful boy. He was hardened and steeled over. He seemed defeated and downtrodden. Like after years of trying so hard to stay positive, he had simply given up.

Audrey extended his hand.

“Resume.”

Waylon fumbled through his bag, his face growing more and more red the longer he searched for his folder. When he finally found it, he set it into Audrey’s still-waiting hand. If he had been bothered by the wait, he didn’t say anything. It was several long minutes of painful silence before Audrey spoke up.

“Well not a lot of people have the kind of experience you do. That’s good. Most people are under the impression that this is some kind of glorified butlering gig. That couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

Audrey fixed him with a stern glare.

“I need someone with experience in business. Someone who can help me manage my company and run my life. I’m a very busy man and I can only spread myself so thin. If you can’t help me with that then I’m afraid this isn't the job for you.”

“Actually, sir, that’s exactly my area of expertise.”

Audrey gave an approving nod, continuing to rifle through Smithers’ papers.

“Now before I give you the slightest hope that you could be hired, I need to make one thing exceptionally clear, I don’t tolerate bigotry in my company. Any employees who display any form of homophobia, racism, transphobia, will be fired without question. That won’t be a problem for you, will it, Smithers?”

Waylon was taken aback by the sudden fierce aura that surrounded Audrey in this moment, but he had to admit he felt very safe for some reason.

“I assure you, I wouldn’t be caught dead exhibiting that kind of behavior.”

Audrey relaxed, flashing Waylon a rare smile before handing back his resume.

“Honestly, I’m so sick of these interviews. It would be nice to have another familiar face around. If I don’t find anyone by tonight I’ll call you. Please give your number to Mrs. Diane before leaving. Have a good day.”

Waylon nodded, saddened by his excessive curtness, and showed himself out.

The next couple hours, Waylon spent in the sweet feeling of relief that he might actually make the rent this month. He let himself relax for the first time in what felt like eons.

Maybe moving on from Monty would be good for him. And he had heard of how Mr. Burns spoke of Audrey. It was with a burning anger that he only directed to those who wished for change. He called Audrey a “Broken up bleeding heart” and seemed to have extreme distaste for all of Audrey's initiatives for a better future. One of which made a direct attack at the power plant

He was surprised to be woken up in the middle of the night by a phone call.

“Smithers, good news. You’re hired. Be here at 6 AM sharp tomorrow we have a lot to go over.”

Waylon wasn’t even given a chance to respond before being met with the click of the other line being cut off.

#Self Insert #Selfshipping #selfships #self ship community #f/o: nuclear power couple

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alarmcomic41 · 4 years ago

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Mediation In Stoke On Trent.

About Mediation

Content

Details And Evaluation Meetings.

About Citizens Guidance

Child.

The Kid.

If You Don't Get Approved For Lawful Aid

Forget Paying Two Lawyers.

Some child contact centres will certainly accept recommendations from parents directly, yet others may only accept a recommendation from a solicitor, through Cafcass or a family court, a family support worker, or a social worker. Financial arbitration is for individuals who intend to get to a contract regarding funds, post splitting up or divorce, which can consist of building, such as the family house. It is difficult to claim the amount of arbitration sessions it will certainly require to locate an arrangement, yet typically it takes anything from between 2 and 4 meetings. If the financial resources are complex, after that be prepared that it might be longer. Typically talking, the success of financial arbitration cases is in the preparation and collection of economic information, before beginning the arbitration procedure. The arbitration firm will send a monetary info pack, which will need completing with as much information as feasible.

Children as well as youths are not offered suggestions or counselling by the conciliator and they are not asked for choices or choices. The moderator only shows to moms and dads the messages or tips that the youngster asks the arbitrator to offer. Youngsters claim that they locate it a relief to speak easily, without worrying that the arbitrator will tell parents whatever they say.

Details And Evaluation Meetings.

In most situations, the mediator will certainly aid the parents to talk as well as assure their youngsters without the requirement for the child or young adult to fulfill the conciliator. A kid or young adult will only be welcomed to be associated with mediation if both moms and dads concur and if the parents have actually currently been involved in the arbitration process regarding the setups for their kids. Achild call centreis one alternative for separated parents that settle on monitored get in touch with between the child and also the non-resident parent. Youngster contact centres are a risk-free, neutral, as well as informal place where non-resident parents can spend quality one on one time playing games or reading with their youngsters in loosened up as well as comfortable environments. The child get in touch with centre will guarantee the physical security as well as emotional well-being of the youngster. This includes a member of the kid call centre personnel being present to provide help if needed.

Family Arbitration is a confidential process, however where there are concerns concerning the safety and security of a youngster, the protection of kids overrides the principles of both discretion as well as adult decision-making. The arbitrator will discuss this to you when you come for your first meeting, called a Mediation Info and also Analysis Meeting.

About People Suggestions

The Parenting Strategy, which has actually just recently been revised, is designed to help moms and dads discuss what is best for their children. This has lately been upgraded to ensure that children are at the centre of arrangements of this nature. Section 20 is about a Regional Authority providing somewhere for a kid to live if he needs it. The LA does not share Parental Responsibility with the moms and dads if a child is accommodated under section 20. If parents broken up and also can not agree on exactly how to figure out contact or living arrangements for their children, they might require to put on court for a Kid Arrangements Order. This order will lay out exactly how a kid spends his time with each of his parents. mediators Europe finances utilized to be called 'call' and also 'home' orders however were transformed by the Kid and Households Act 2014.

What questions do they ask at mediation?

Some of the questions that a mediator ought to ask counsel for the parties during the mediation include the following. What are your/your client's goals for this mediation? What would help you achieve your goals? What are the obstacles to resolving the dispute?

Along with this, up-to-date checking account declarations will certainly require to be supplied. It is crucial to give as much info concerning home mortgages, property valuations, insurance policies, endowments and also any kind of various other financial investments, such as supplies and also shares. It can not be emphasized sufficient to do this as very early as possible, to ensure that when you attend your first mediation session, you will certainly be prepared and also your time in mediation will be effective. It is important to remember, that you require to reveal all your financial assets.

Child.

Subsequent brief mediation sessions are often valuable every few months to iron our parenting concerns as well as evaluate and review the contact arrangements. Separation and divorce highlights solid emotions in pairs; trying to make call arrangements for your children can be a filled, dissatisfied procedure.

Our approved mediators can organize a private meeting with kids that will certainly after that have a possibility to place their perspective concerning their family members circumstance and also adjustments. Children's views will be appreciated, without any stress being placed on the children and the conference will be friendly and casual. Neither moms and dad exists during the time the conciliator invests with the youngsters. The kids decide with the moderator what they desire passed on back to their parents.

The Child.

The emotional damage to kids experiencing their moms and dads' contentious separations can be lasting. The moderator will facilitate conversations between you and your companion to attempt as well as settle different concerns to include plans for the kids, that is to provide the divorce request as well as monetary arrangements. Mediation can be used in different contexts to consist of household separation, acting monetary plans, long term economic arrangements and so on . The procedure entails a joint meeting with the parents and also conciliator, a private conference between the youngsters and also the conciliator, and also an adhere to up meeting between the moms and dads as well as arbitrator. This enables the dreams as well as sensations of the kids to be thought about by the parents when considering arrangements for the future. The courts can buy joint or sole guardianship, which is the capability to make crucial choices on behalf of the kid and also implies a physical protection of the kid. On that basis the moms and dads are more likely to combat each various other for sole guardianship.

However, in some cases this is as well aspirational as well as in high dispute cases the court will purchase single custodianship. Determining arrangements for kids is a hard and distressing procedure as well as it's crucial to look for professional help. Our mediators are totally trained to mediate sessions between you as well as your previous partner so that you decide on problems that are very important to the welfare of your youngster.

ex pats Poland mediators service includes jewellery, automobiles as well as those off-shore savings account in the British Virgin Islands! It is very important to not simply count assets, however additionally financial obligations, which may be debt or store cards. Additionally, there might be bank loans, or even ones from relative. By obtaining all this information together, it will allow for everyone to prepare their future financial resources better. Whilst alternating weekend breaks permit the youngsters quality time with both of their parents, the plans for during the college week, vacations and special celebrations will vary for every single family members. Points get even extra complicated when a moms and dad functions changes or has a varied job pattern. 11.03 In most cases, events have the ability to clear up contact as well as house concerns themselves without going to court or ADR.

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Posted: Tue, 05 Jan 2021 11:10:14 GMT [source]

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glassesandkim · 5 years ago

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that’s why i’m still holding out hope even though the writers have continuously let us down. this storyline just doesn’t make SENSE. i think levi being hesitant about nico being “the one” is due to nico’s bizarre behavior, so i’m not confused about that, i’m confused about nico. it seems like just recently he started acting like he only wants sex (levi said “it’s becoming all we do” like it hasn’t *always* been all they do). something must have happened to cause nico to act so different

Okay, so I took this one line in your ask and wrote a whole thing. This line: “i think levi being hesitant about nico being “the one” is due to nico’s bizarre behavior, so i’m not confused about that.” which I agree with but also disagree on when it started and why that senseless train of events’ only purpose was to come to another senseless point.

Levi questioning Nico’s commitment to him started when Nico asked him, “We aren’t at the cohabiting step, right?” which Levi responded with, although unsure and most probably lying to himself, “Right?”. And after Nico asked him if he was tired of staying at his place where there’s no room for his stuff which ultimately lead to Nico saying that Levi would love his own place if he were to find one.

(I am very carefully avoiding words like pushing and telling when it comes to Nico talking to Levi about moving out. Why? Because I do not see Nico pushing Levi to move out or telling him to move out in this very specific scene. It might have happened off screen, who knows. Of course, it’s suggested and implied that Nico would prefer Levi to move out.)

And after that, Levi goes on to meet the Mary Sues of all couples and starts questioning his relationship with Nico and why him and Nico aren’t perfect dance partners like them.

Which makes me go ??????????? This is a good ask that describes how I feel about Levi’s questioning:

ITS JUST SO OOC THIS SEASON. Like, we just went through Nico “stage five clinger” Kim to where he wouldn’t let his boyfriend REACH OVER FOR A GLASS OF FCKING WATER, to where he’s avoiding every feeling and talking to bang his BF that he wants out of his apartment. Like, even that doesn’t fit. He doesn’t want to live together, but he wants to get snowed in together at the hospital and spend every waking second together to bang. NO SENSE IS BEING MADE.

It isn’t until 16x15 when we sort of understand what Levi wants from Nico: he wants Nico to talk to him. He also says he understands if Nico’s not ready to talk to Levi about his parents. Which is great. Which is good. I love that Levi says that and also tells Nico he loves him.

But then we hear these lines: But I want a relationship. Not an impersonation. And this doesn’t feel real.

Again, I am going ?????????????????????????? This is after Levi spends his day looking for Desmond who was impersonating a doctor.

There are dozens of asks talking about this and I felt the need to write out the events leading up to now for you all (I tried to be factual but lol). But I’m not going to talk about how none of that makes any fucking sense to me. Instead, I’m going to talk about Grey’s Anatomy and it’s way of storytelling that thrives on convenience, privilege, and dramatic parallels and how all of that is fucking stupid (but that’s just my opinion rofl).

Whenever a character is having an issue, the medical case of the week always conveniently provides a blueprint or parallel of said issue to the character. For Levi: the old couple showed Levi what a “perfect and in sync” relationship should look like. Demond’s story showed Levi that impersonation = bad.

When, in life, do cases like these drop so conveniently in your lap in order to help you solve or point out whatever problems you’re having in your own personal life? And how does one come to such definitive conclusions after only working on these cases for a day?

Of course, it’s all TV magic. It’s part of Grey’s formula. It’s a formula many shows adopt and do but Grey’s pushes it to a point of unbelievability. The cases are purely there to advance a character’s arc. IMO, grey’s has stopped making us care about the actual cases and patients but rather, molds them in a way so they perfectly tell the doctor what to do. And the patients have, in their own way, become all-knowing, prophets that resemble Mary Sues.

And that’s lazy and unrealistic. And if the counterpoint to that is: this is a tv show!!! Yes, I know it’s a tv show but just because your work is fiction, doesn’t mean it has to be so incredibly obvious on what it’s trying to do.

Then there’s the issue with privilege. And this isn’t entirely schmico related but the doctors on this show now? They are privileged. They have money, they have reputation, and they have connections. They are so far removed from the struggling, broke, and tired interns we saw 16 seasons ago that the decisions they make now blow my mind. No one, in their right mind, would buy a whole hospital just because they were having marital problems. Only people with power and privilege would be able to do that and I guarantee you, 99% of grey’s viewership is not capable of that sort of thing.

But we are now expected to believe these are rational, doable things that doctors do. The decisions these doctors are making in their own personal life AND professionally drip with privilege. And to me, it feels like the writer’s forgot what it means to be unprivileged.

Because being unprivileged is inconvenient.

You do not just up and take in a foster kid. You do not sign your name on insurance forms and skip court dates and continue to insert yourself in a hospital that fired you. You do not get to leave/get fired from a hospital only to be hired again by the same hospital. And you definitely do not and SHOULD not spend a whole day with your patient and then conveniently have a whole epiphany about your long term relationship with your boyfriend.

Wrap all that up with some dramatics, and you get grey’s. Grey’s who relies on cheap, temporary shockwaves in order to explain away and condone unrealistic behaviours and actions. Drama comes FIRST, then how quickly can we make these events happen, THEN coherency and story building makes an appearance.

The art of storytelling has been lost on grey’s. Instead we have this monstrous beast that throws its shit at us and we are told to open our mouths and consume it.

Now, I am not saying stop watching grey’s. I’m just telling you how shitty grey’s is becoming. I loved grey’s anatomy. I was proud to watch it and it was ~~~ground breaking~~~~ in its prime.

Now?

God, it’s like watching your grandma try to be hip but she’s decrepit and dementia has overtaken her mind.

Am I going to stop watching? No. But I’m not going to try too hard to make sense of the actions of these deformed, mutated caricatures we call characters in this show anymore. I will not hold faith in the writers to represent and portray a character that looks like me/acts like me accurately and with grace and care. The characters I used to love are reduced to their own stereotypes and tropes.

I will now expect bullshit because that’s what I’ve been given lately. I might as well be watching a soap opera where senseless, unrealistic dramatics is accepted and part of its charm.

#anyway here's my two cents on why grey's anatomy has lost it rofl #long post #schmico #grey's anatomy //#anonymous #gk asks #important

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bluehhj · 5 years ago

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listen to me — chapter 45

LISTEN TO ME — 0045

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 2.3K

Sae Murase was the name of the surgeon who patiently explained Jinah's complex case to her friends. She detailed the diagnosis without haste, letting the group absorb each piece of information carefully, even pausing to ask if they understood or wanted her to repeat it using more uncomplicated words, but, sometimes, she was barely answered, given that no one seemed capable enough to focus on her words and enjoy the gift of speech at the same time.

Suddenly, Murphy was right when he said that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong, at the worst possible time.

"Not to say it was all bad, maybe Jinah was a little lucky," the doctor continued her report, finally removing the white mask that still hung from her chin. "The two fractured ribs didn't compromise any of her vital organs, that already cheers me up. In fact, I noticed a tourniquet¹ on her left leg and I can bet that, by the obvious improvisation, it wasn't the ambulance crew who put it there." the doctor, then, looked at Seungmin, who swallowed the excess saliva. Just as Jeongin was Chan's internship instructor, Sae was his, and let's say shaming in front of her was the last thing the younger Kim needed at that dawn.

"She was losing a lot of blood," he said, a little shy. It's okay that a dirty piece of jeans and a half-burnt twig weren't the best options for rescuing someone in serious condition, but Jinah survived, at least. "I couldn't keep pressing her belly and leg at the same time, I had to improvise."

"I'm not scolding you" Sae's smile was so slight it hardly even appeared, but she was pleased with Seungmin's attitude. "Actually, you did very well. Congratulations."

The pride of himself after receiving a compliment was present in the form of a grateful gleam in Seungmin's eyes. He opened a smile as lightly as the surgeon's when Chaerin discreetly touched the base of his spine, congratulating him as well. It was something so small, especially compared to how important the rest of the situation was, but it still made him a little happy.

"What really worries me is the trauma," the doctor confessed, suddenly more tense. "We have done the tests, but it's not possible to predict exactly how she will react when she comes out of the coma."

Seungmin bit his cheek inside, remembering the blood covering Jinah's hair, the bruises on her face and how it terrified him — not from the image itself, but the inevitable consequences. There are cases when a coma can become worse than death itself. Seungmin, then, found himself saying a silent prayer that it would be different with Jinah.

"But will she wake up?" Jade asked, clinging to any loose thread of hope. "There are people who stay like this for years and years. Please, she can't."

"I have to be honest with you," Sae let out her breath slowly before continuing. "And I say I don't know when Jinah will wake up, but I know that if she does someday, it may not be as reassuring as it sounds. Brain injuries are cruel. Maybe she can wake up and stay the same as ever, but maybe a only thing out of place can make her a completely different person than she was before."

"Different in what way?" Changbin wanted to know.

"At best, there is often some long or short term memory loss, personality change and a bit of logical dysfunction" tired and with a headache from not sleeping well for days, and carrying all the daily pressure on her shoulders, the doctor surrendered to the wear and sat on one of the chairs. "At worst, however, it is possible that there is partial or complete paralysis of the limbs, as well as loss of sight, difficulty in speech, among others related to the senses. And of course, we also have the worst of worst, which is when the patient doesn't even wake up."

Woojin slowly shook his head up and down thoughtfully. "If your intention was to reassure us, congratulations, doctor. You did it right."

"Sorry for scaring you all with all these things that might not even happen" although her words said otherwise, Sae wasn't sorry, still holding the same serious look and soft tone of voice. "But it is my duty to keep you aware from now on."

Hyoyeon nodded without much force. She had listened everything with her eyes fixed on the floor and only raised her head again when she assumed that the Japanese girl had nothing more to say. "Are you doing everything for her, doctor?" she asked, then, and Sae didn't need much to understand what she meant.

After all, it was a private hospital. Everyone was aware that the state-of-the-art treatment offered there wasn't paid for on its own.

"I didn't want to get to that part today," she admitted, running a hand over the back of her neck in a shy gesture. Sae imagined that it must be horrible to have someone important going through such a difficult time and still be financially charged, as if the obligation of doctors were to pluck people's money for simple favors, and not save them for the sake of the profession. "But the answer is yes. I thought it wise that all treatments for her to recover faster should be started even before consulting her family. The decision to continue or not, however, is still up to you."

It wasn't a question of wanting or not wanting to continue. From what she had heard from Jisung, Hyoyeon knew that Jinah's parents lived in a dignified manner, but lacked a favorable financial position to handle the situation properly. Chan, Felix, Jade, Changbin, Woojin, and Seungmin could also fit into the same picture. In that circle, only Sooyoung, Chaerin, Yoorim, Hyunjin, and Hyoyeon herself had good money to help without affecting anything. However, though not in the same material proportions, but with the same goodwill and determination, the collective exchange of glances, leaving no one out, made it clear that the eleven were more than willing to do anything for Jinah.

"I'll pay her first night," Hyoyeon offered. It wasn't as if she wanted to completely lift the weight off Jinah's parents, but at least until they arrived in Seoul, she wouldn't mind taking over. Moreover, she wasn't only doing this for Choi, but also for Jisung, who could certainly take no other action.

"That's great," Sae even got up, smiling a little more willingly than last time. Later, she would remember to make everyone aware of the importance of having a health insurance, because it wasn't always you found friends as true as this group. "I shouldn't even thank you, but thanks."

Hyoyeon also opened a mild smile. "It wasn't us who just spent hours doing miracles to save someone's life, doctor."

"Thank God it wasn't us," muttered Woojin, then received a weak elbow from Felix on his back. "What? My body is just dust now, I'm dying of tiredness."

"It's almost five in the morning and you guys still have to go to college." Hyoyeon covered her mouth with her fingers, as if only then did she remember that. However, the rest didn't show much excitement to attend class in a few hours.

"I'm not leaving," said Jade, affected. She was so worried about Jinah that, if she could, she would live in the hospital until she recovered. Chan and Changbin also declined at the same time.

"Guys, you guys spent all night here" Sae watched the tired faces and the growing dark circles. "I'm not asking you to go to class, but at least go home and get some rest before you get back. Jinah's condition is serious, but she's being well cared for, I promise."

Faced with the silent reluctance that ensued for the next few moments, Sooyoung, though she knew no one but Hyoyeon, pressed her lips into a thin line before daring to complete: "I know how worried you guys must be now, but I say, from own experience, that Jinah's life has stopped doesn't mean yours need to stop either. I've been through this same situation with my ex-husband and spent three whole months by his side, unable to do anything. I was so happy when he woke up, but then I saw the confusion that my life changed because of carelessness and I still got anemia because I didn't take proper care of myself."

"Exactly," agreed Hyoyeon. "What she means is you all here all the time won't improve Jinah's health but only worsen yours. And I bet that, as much as you want to stay, no one wants to get a low grade in college right away now that you're about to graduate, and don't lose your job either."

There was a moment's thoughtfulness until Hyunjin sighed and relaxed his shoulders. "They're right," he concluded. "We can take turns and, if anything happens, and I hope not, we'll call right away."

"Anyway, I'll stay here until Jisung wakes up," Hyoyeon said, sounding more sad this time. "He'll suffer when he finds out about Jinah. I want to be around to hug him."

"I think we'd better leave, then," Chan suggested. "Seungmin and I have to come back in the afternoon because of the internship, so, you guys can work normally without having to worry too much."

Jade was the one most unwilling to give in to the rest her body and mind begged for, but even she had to agree that standing still and at the mercy of unwanted thoughts was far worse. The agreement, then, was collective.

"We'll be back early in the evening," Yoorim promised, already leaning toward leaving the hospital with Hyunjin and Woojin by her side. "Anything just call, don't forget."

Seungmin nodded with a weak and equally comforting smile. "We won't."

"You can go too." Hyoyeon softly addressed Sooyoung.

"Don't you want me to be with you?" the other woman replied.

"It's up to you, but I imagine your puppies are very hungry by now."

Sooyoung thought about denying it and saying it was all right, but the memory of not leaving even a little bit of ration in the bowls almost made her despair. "My God, I had forgotten about that! But I'll be back later, okay? Eat a little bit at the diner and take care of yourself."

Hyoyeon could barely answer before Sooyoung ran out of the hospital reception. The thought that she took care of the puppies as if they were her real children was something that always made Hyoyeon laugh. In her view, there was no one more amazing in the world than her little sister, and it was great to have her so close again after so many years away.

Hyoyeon set aside her fraternal sentimentality when she noticed that Chaerin and Seungmin were also leaving. She, then, called the couple back and, when they turned to look at her, Hyoyeon released a long breath and stretched the corners of her lips in a grateful smile.

"Thanks for everything. I thought you two were the last people in the world who could do such a thing, especially for Jisung. I think no thanks is enough to make up for it."

"You don't have to say thank you." Chaerin flashed a smile similar to hers, but it was obvious how embarrassed she was. Her mind had created a sequence of possibilities of what would happen when she met Hyoyeon again and none of them ended with her ex-mother-in-law treating her so well. Not that she was complaining, of course, but she was embarrassed. "And since we're here..." she hesitated, squeezing Seungmin's hand that was intertwined with hers. Chaerin got a squeeze back, as if Kim were encouraging her to continue. "I wanted to say I'm sorry... For what happened at the beginning of the year."

"Don't" Hyoyeon shrugged simplistically. "Jisung is better without you, just as you are better without him. In the end, you did what you had to do."

Chaerin didn't think Jisung was doing that well, at least not with Jinah in a coma; Hyoyeon thought the same, but she believed that this obstacle would be overcome and soon things would get back on track. Thus, the Canadian didn't retort and preferred to believe too. So they said goodbye, both keeping positive thoughts, since these were never too much and Jinah more than anyone deserved them.

Outside the hospital, Jade and Changbin, who walked in silence all the way, finally turned to each other. Their hands were no longer entwined, but any layman would be able to see the almost palpable difficulty they were having to widen the short distance between them. The mood wasn't completely strange, nor too uncomfortable; they just seemed to have lost the ability to communicate verbally. Perhaps this was because they were unsure what to say given the circumstances in which they met again, but the silent support they had offered each other in the last few hours was enough to replace any messy dialogue.

"Take care," Jade finally said, almost in a whisper. Changbin watched her for a few more seconds until he answered in the same tone.

"You too."

Hyunjin was already waiting for the american in the car while Woojin decided he'd get a ride with Seo this time around — or was just kicked out of the front seat when Yoorim, in her own words, said "near my man, only I sit". Jade and Changbin, then, said goodbye with a small smile and each went to one side. But they didn't care much about it, since they both knew this was far from the last time they had run into each other, both in the hospital and elsewhere.

The walk could be long and complicated from now on, but they had each other anyway, plus a dozen friends.

Step by step. One day at a time.

Tourniquet¹: First-aid procedure adopted to stop bleeding that couldn't be stopped in any other way. A piece of cloth or twine is placed around the injured limb, between the wound and the heart, tightening the binding as if strangling the limb, so that the arteries are compressed and the blood doesn't continue to flow. A branch or bar may be used to facilitate tightening of the tourniquet and maintaining proper pressure. It must be used as a last resort and, only, to control bleeding from serious injury to the extremities, when all other control methods have failed.

a/n: my cousin is studying nursing, so this week i heard her talking about this tourniquet and i thought it was useful to put it here hehehehe but really, it's very nice to see them doing it, but it has to be in case of a very emergency because it can hurt and cause a lot of issues if you don't know how to do it right

listen to me is also culture, okay

and i may be inside the biological areas, but i don't know everything either eh talking about the chapter now, i found it really shit lol but on the one hand it was good, as it is important nonetheless and i also found it right to let you guys breathe before coming back with the bombing (yeah folks, it's not over) tsk, do what

i'm leaving now, bye <3

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unfolded73 · 5 years ago

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How Do We Get Back (9/16) - schitt’s creek ff

Summary: In a literal alternate universe where the Roses escaped financial ruin, David and Patrick struggle with loneliness and a sense that something isn’t right. A chance meeting in New York and a terrible tragedy drive them to question whether the timeline they are on is the right one.

Rated explicit. This chapter 4k words. (ao3)

This chapter is a sad one, but hang in there... (putting everything below the cut due to spoilers in the first few lines)

_____________________________________

Chapter 9

The sun was shining the first morning David woke up into a world without his sister in it.

He might’ve expected it to hit him afresh as he surfaced from fitful sleep, the fact that his sister was dead. But it had suffused his sleep, invaded his dreams — there was no escaping the knowledge even in his subconscious. As he awoke, he mostly just felt numb and hungover from crying.

David had rehearsed this kind of thing in his head a hundred times. All the times that Alexis had come back from a long trip abroad with a story about fleeing the Yakuza or being held captive by a sultan, David had played out in his mind a vivid scenario in which Alexis didn’t escape and one of them got a middle-of-the-night phone call with terrible news. He told himself that these morbid fantasies were his way of preparing for the worst. That allowing himself to imagine all of it — how he would behave, what his parents would do, what kind of details would need to be arranged — was a mental insurance policy against the thing actually happening.

None of that was true. It hadn’t prepared him in the slightest.

David emerged from his bedroom and wandered downstairs, keeping his eyes averted from the family portrait in the great hall. He found his father in the kitchen, staring out the window as his assistant, Mallory, sat implacably at the kitchen island and ticked items off of a checklist. He marveled that his father’s ever-capable assistant had come prepared with a checklist of funeral preparations.

“Do you want to go with me to select the casket?” Mallory asked gently.

Johnny stirred himself, looking over at her as if he was trying to parse her question. David suspected he hadn’t slept at all. “You can pick it. It doesn’t really matter what her casket looks like.”

“Mom might care what it looks like,” David said, his voice raspy.

“Your mother isn’t in any state to go casket shopping,” Johnny said.

David threw his hands up. “What, are you just letting her overdose on sleeping pills? Are we going to have two funerals this week?”

“No, I’m not letting her…” Johnny shouted, but quickly ran out of steam. “I don’t think she’ll be ready to leave the house today, that’s all.”

“I’ll go with you to pick out the casket,” David said to Mallory before he went back upstairs to check on his mother.

He expected to find her in bed but Moira was up, sitting at her dressing table and staring at herself in the mirror. David lurked in the doorway for a moment, unsure if he should go in. She had on no makeup, and she didn’t like people to see her with no makeup, even her son. His mother looked old, David thought for the first time in his life.

“Hi, Mom.”

Moira didn’t turn. “Oh, David. John said you were here.” Her voice was low and quiet, lacking its usual expressiveness.

David walked into the room and sat down on the chest at the foot of his parents’ bed. He’d sat here so many times as a child, watching his mother modeling a new piece of couture or trying out a new wig. In a relatively lonely childhood, those were among his fondest memories.

“We’ll need to pick something to dress her in,” Moira said. “I was thinking about that Stella McCartney gown that she wore last Christmas.”

David imagined Alexis’ dead body being bent and stretched like an oversized Barbie to get it into that dress, and suddenly he tasted bile in the back of his throat.

“Sure,” he said.

“I mean, is that what Alexis would have wanted, do you think?”

“Pretty sure what Alexis would have wanted is to not be dead,” David shot back, almost with the hope that it would get a negative reaction from his mother. Tears. Screaming. Something.

Moira didn’t even blink.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that. Alexis loved that dress; it’s a good choice.”

“I can’t remember the last time I told her I loved her. My own daughter,” Moira said, her voice finally breaking on the last word.

“I’m sure she knew,” he said, although he was sure of nothing of the sort. “We aren’t really a family who says that to each other.”

“And we should have taken better care of her. Not let her jet off to anywhere and everywhere like we did.”

“She was a grown woman; I’m not sure what you could have done to stop her.” For that matter, before she was a grown woman, when she was twelve and ended up in Hong Kong, for example, he wasn’t sure anyone could have ever stopped Alexis from going where she wanted to go when she wanted to go there.

Maybe if she’d been raised in a warm and loving home, and not in a place where the nursery was in a separate wing of the house, maybe then she’d have stayed home more. Maybe then she’d still be alive. Then he closed the door on those thoughts. There would be time later to blame his parents for this. Right now, he needed to be supportive.

“Mallory wants someone to go with her to pick the casket. Are you all right with me doing it?” he asked his mother.

Moira nodded. “I’m sure you’ll pick something tasteful.” She picked up a bottle of foundation and shook it, then set it back down, staring into space.

“I’ll check in on you when I get back, okay?” David said. Moira didn’t respond.

David wasn’t prepared for how heavy the grief would be, how it would weigh him down like a yoke on his shoulders, how stupid and yet somehow crucial all the things about planning the funeral would feel. How he would cry so hard sometimes that he made himself throw up, and other times he’d be so numb that he wasn’t sure he’d ever feel true feelings again. His parents were like strangers to him, like shells of their former selves ghosting around the house, and it made him want to smash things and scream and make them acknowledge that all of this was real. Make them take care of him, instead of the other way around.

The night before the funeral, David went to bed early, a part of him hoping he could just sleep through all of it. Sleep until the grief was a little bit lighter and easier to carry around. When his phone started to ring, it took all of his energy to pick it up and see who was calling.

Patrick.

“Hello?”

“David, it’s Patrick.” After a brief pause, he continued, “From—”

“I haven’t forgotten you,” David blurted out.

“Listen, I saw the news online. I’m so sorry about Alexis.”

Fresh tears filled David’s eyes, and he closed them. “Thanks.”

“I know I don’t have any right to… call you or whatever, but I wanted you to know that if there’s anything at all I can do…”

David wiped at one cheek. “I appreciate that. There’s nothing.”

“Is there a service? If you’d be willing, I’d like to come to the service. But only if—”

“You don’t have to do that.” Patrick was just a hookup, David told himself, there was no reason for him to offer to do something like come to his sister’s funeral.

“I know I don’t have to, but…” He sighed. “Listen, if me being there would only burden you, then I’ll stay away. But if you think it would help even the tiniest bit, then I’ll be on the next plane.”

David allowed himself to imagine it. Patrick; solid Patrick who could be relied on to make tea in a time of crisis, being here. Standing with him at the service. Holding his hand, maybe. Suddenly David wanted that fiercely.

“It would help,” he managed to choke out.

“Then I’m going to book a flight.”

“No, you must have work or something—”

“Let me worry about that. When and where is the service?” Patrick asked.

David gave him the information, and at the end of the recitation couldn’t help asking, “Are you sure?”

“I’m buying the plane ticket as we speak,” Patrick said. “I’ll basically need to leave for the airport in…” he paused, “three hours and drive through the night so that I can get the 6:30 a.m. flight out of Toronto, but I can do that.”

“Patrick… thank you.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, David.”

~*~

The church was surrounded by paparazzi, and Patrick was late, and there was a security guard manning the door. But when Patrick gave his name to the guard, he was allowed in and told to take a seat in the back. He shook his head, thinking there was something appropriate about the fact that Alexis Rose’s funeral had an exclusive guest list. Craning his neck, he could just make out David’s black hair at the front of the church.

A priest who even Patrick could tell had never met Alexis was speaking, expressing vague platitudes that probably came out of the manual on funerals for people who die tragically before their time. After that, some women stood up and sang a song that seemed inappropriate as a memorial to a dead person. An aunt got up and told a sepia-toned story about Alexis as a little girl. Then David stood up and approached the lectern. Patrick drank in the sight of him, looking pale and exhausted, clutching a journal against his chest. He hadn’t expected David to be delivering a eulogy. Perhaps his parents didn’t have the strength to do it, and it had fallen to David as the only other close family member.

David cleared his throat and opened his journal and began to speak. “When I first started planning what I was going to say today, I thought about how I would describe Alexis. That she always knew exactly who she was. That she was fearless. That she was unfailingly optimistic about everything. That she had an unquenchable lust for life. But I don’t know if any of that is true.

“The truth is that Alexis could be shallow and self-involved. She forgot to pay attention to the feelings of the people around her. She made bad decisions. She also could be child-like, and enthusiastic, and she knew how to cut right through my bullshit. She was a complicated person who I didn’t always like very much, but who I did… who I did love.

“The truth is also that Alexis was lonely. The truth is she had to grow up way too fast. The truth is that Alexis was always jetting all over the world because she was chasing something that I don’t think she ever found in life: actual joy.

“I had a dream last night that Alexis and I were sharing a tiny little bedroom. Which is pretty funny, because Alexis and I never shared a room in our lives. We would have despised sharing a room, because she was such a slob…” He seemed to choke up at this, and paused for a few seconds to collect himself before continuing. “But the thing is, in this dream she was happy in a way I never really saw her in life. She was content. I hope that wherever my sister is, she’s found that contentment.”

David walked away from the podium and retook his seat, and Patrick could feel the stunned hush of a crowd who hadn’t expected anyone to say anything like that. Nothing that raw and honest. The priest also seemed surprised as he stood up and welcomed the next speaker, one of Alexis’ friends who seemed more interested in visibly crying in front of a crowd than in saying anything meaningful about Alexis. Patrick understood why David had said his sister was lonely if this was what her friends were like.

When the service was over, Patrick went outside to sit on a bench and wait. He wasn’t sure what to do now — he wanted to go to David and be near him to provide any support he could, but he also recognized that as a selfish impulse. David had his parents to worry about, he didn’t need the guy he’d gone to bed with two months ago hanging around. Suddenly, the fact that Patrick had shelled out hundreds of dollars for a last-minute plane ticket and a rental car struck him as insanity.

“You came.”

Patrick looked up from the paving stones he’d been staring at to see David, sunlight haloing his hair. Standing up, Patrick tried to offer a supportive smile. “I said I would.”

David shrugged. “People don’t necessarily do what they say they’ll do.”

“I do.” Patrick couldn’t take his eyes off of David. After two months, seeing him felt like seeing a mirage.

“So, I have to go to the gravesite now for the burial, which is just family,” David said, indicating a waiting limousine.

“Oh. Right, of course.”

“But people will be coming to the house afterwards. Can you come there? I think I sent you the address before.”

Patrick nodded, relieved. “I’ll be there. David, I’m so, so sorry.”

The corner of David’s mouth turned down, and he shrugged one shoulder. “I’ll see you later.”

Uncertain what to do, Patrick got in his rental car and drove to a nearby McDonald’s. The past twelve hours of travel had screwed up the rhythms of mealtimes, and other than a bagel at the airport and a meager bag of pretzels, he hadn’t eaten anything all day. Sitting down with his tray, he stared at his unappetizing burger and wondered why he’d ordered it. He ate a fry, eyes trained on the acrylic tabletop.

When he figured that enough time had gone by, Patrick got back in the car and drove to David’s parents’ house. The gate was imposing enough (where again he had to give his name to be admitted), but the mansion that was revealed as he drove up the long driveway was even more so. He turned his car key over to a valet, wondering what it had been like, growing up in a place like this. Another piece of the David Rose puzzle slotted into place.

The house was filled with mourners, drinks and small plates of food in hand, talking in hushed tones. Patrick stood in the middle of it and stared up at the family portrait that dominated the great hall, trying to see the man he cared about in the haughty version of David Rose in the painting.

After some wandering, Patrick finally found David in the kitchen, giving instructions to the caterers.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” David said, his eyes still flitting around the room, his focus on oversight of the food.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“No. I’m glad you’re here.”

An older woman came into the kitchen and picked up one of the trays of finger sandwiches to carry back out to the guests.

“Adelina, you don’t work here anymore; you don’t have to do that.”

“I have to do something,” she said. “And you don’t get to tell me what to do, mijo.”

David rolled his eyes. “Fine. Just don’t stay on your feet too long, please.”

Adelina muttered something in Spanish and left the room with her tray.

“She practically raised us,” David explained. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“Of course,” Patrick replied, following David through a back door of the kitchen up some utility stairs to the upper floor of the house. David led them into a tastefully-decorated bedroom that was about half the size of the house Patrick had grown up in.

“Is this your childhood bedroom?” he asked.

“Yeah,” David said, sitting on the bed. “Listen, I’m sorry for the way I behaved when you left New York—”

“Please don’t worry about that now.” Patrick sat at David’s side. “I don’t want you to have to think about that now.”

“No, I was an asshole,” David said. “We hadn’t made any plans or promises, it’s not like you were—”

“Believe me, David, I wanted to stay.” Patrick laughed uncomfortably and looked down at his hands. “Two nights with you and I was…” He stopped, unable to admit the way he’d been feeling. The way he was still feeling. “I’ve thought about you a lot, the last two months.”

David cleared his throat. “I can’t help but notice you aren’t wearing your wedding ring.”

“I told Rachel everything the day I got back. We’re separated.”

“Oh. Well, that must be very hard.”

“It is, but it’s also…” Patrick clutched his hands together, worrying the webbing of skin between his thumb and forefinger. “I’ve also never felt more free. I came out to my parents and the world didn’t end. So even if I never saw you again, I would have been forever grateful to you for being the instrument of this change in my life. And then I saw what happened to Alexis, and I just… I had to call, even if you wanted nothing to do with me.”

David looked up at the ceiling like he was trying not to cry. “I’ve thought about you a lot these last two months, too,” he whispered, and then David was leaning in and his mouth was on Patrick’s, insistent and everything Patrick had been dreaming about.

Except David had just lost his sister, and as soon as Patrick gained some control of himself, he pulled away. “David, is now really the right—”

“I just need to… not think about being sad for a while, okay? Can I… can I just have a few minutes where I’m not thinking about what happened?”

Patrick put his hand on David’s cheek and nodded his head. “Of course. Of course you can have that.”

Their mouths met in a frantic press, teeth clacking together as they both tried to deepen the kiss. David’s hand was already unbuttoning the buttons of Patrick’s shirt, trembling, and Patrick did his best to shrug out of his suit jacket while their mouths were still fused together.

When he brought his hands up to resume caressing David’s face, Patrick’s fingers came away wet, and he broke the kiss again. “David—”

“It’s fine, I’m fine,” David said, but he clearly wasn’t. His hands were shaking and the tears were starting to flow more freely now, so Patrick pulled the other man into his arms. That made the dam break, and the sound of pure grief that tore from David’s throat in that moment shattered Patrick’s heart.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” Patrick murmured, holding David as he sobbed into Patrick’s shoulder.

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed that way, David’s tears soaking into Patrick’s shirt as Patrick rocked him gently and murmured quiet words into David’s hair. He wasn’t even sure what he said. Patrick supposed this was why he had come, although he couldn’t have expected David would be willing to rely on him as a shoulder to cry on. And yet somehow Patrick felt like he had known he was needed here, even as all reason and logic had said that it was a mistake to come.

When David’s tears dried up, when he finally let go of his death grip around Patrick’s torso, Patrick reached out to run his thumbs under David’s eyes. “Do you need to go back to the people downstairs?”

David shook his head. “I’m not going back out there.”

“Do you want to try to get some sleep? Or do you want me to go get you some food?”

“Sleep,” David said. “If you’ll… stay?”

“Of course I will.”

~*~

Patrick woke up to the sound of water running in the bathroom, and then David emerged, walking over and getting back into bed.

“What time is it?” Patrick asked.

“1:15.”

Patrick rubbed his face, trying to orient himself in space and time. Between his complete lack of sleep the night before and falling asleep in the early evening with David, he felt hazy and disoriented. “Are you okay?” Patrick asked.

“Just a nightmare about Alexis. I’m getting used to them.”

Patrick reached out and touched David’s back, feeling the way sweat had soaked through his t-shirt. “It might feel better to change your shirt.”

He could just make out David nodding in the dim light before he got up and went over to a large armoire, pulling off his shirt. Patrick watched as David took everything off and put on a fresh shirt and underwear before coming back to bed.

“I keep seeing her drowning in my dreams,” David sighed, getting back under the covers. Patrick put an arm around him and David put his head down on Patrick’s chest, his arm draped across Patrick’s midsection and their legs tangling together. It was nice. It was scary, how nice it was. How well they seemed to fit together, like they’d been sharing a bed for ages.

“And I don’t know what to do now that the funeral is over,” David continued. “It was easier when I had a list of things to take care of. Now it just seems like an endless amount of time stretching out in front of me with nothing in it but grief.”

“Maybe focusing on your gallery will help?”

David shook his head, his hair brushing against Patrick’s nose. “I’m going to close the gallery.”

“Why?”

“Because according to my father’s business manager it’s hemorrhaging money, and the family can’t really afford to keep it open any more.”

“David, I’m sorry.” He tightened his grip on David’s shoulder. “Maybe I can help? I can look at the books?”

“That’s a very kind offer, but even I can understand that if I don’t sell any art, it doesn’t make financial sense to keep the gallery.”

“You don’t sell any art?”

“Not lately. And to be honest, since Alexis died I don’t know if I even care anymore. For that matter, I don’t care if I even stay in New York. Maybe I’ll sell the apartment too and make a fresh start somewhere else.”

Patrick pressed a kiss against the top of David’s head. “Okay, David, I don’t want to second guess you here, but I don’t know if it’s a good idea to make these kinds of huge decisions when you’re grieving the loss of someone close to you.”

David’s breath hitched, and Patrick feared he might have triggered another crying jag, but when David spoke, his voice was even. “Okay, maybe I’ll hold off on selling the apartment. But… I need a change of scenery. I need to get away from everything that brings back memories of my sister, at least for a little while.”

“Come home with me,” Patrick said, and then his mouth dropped open with shock that those words had come out of his mouth.

David raised his head from Patrick’s shoulder and looked at him. “Come home with you?”

“No, I mean… if you’re looking for a change of scenery you could… I just got a new apartment and you’re welcome to stay with me for a few days if you need to.” He chuckled nervously, wishing David’s leg wasn’t pinning him down because he felt a sudden need to put some space between them. “There’s nowhere less like New York than my hometown.”

David moved his head around for a second before saying, “Okay.”

“You actually want to come stay at my place? Because I should probably warn you, the restaurants where I live leave a lot to be desired.”

Meeting his eyes, David said, “I wouldn’t be going with you for the night life.”

Patrick kissed him then, just a gentle peck on the lips, but it felt significant. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Chapter 10

#schitt's creek #schitt's creek ff #david x patrick #david x patrick ff #david x patrick fic #hdwgb fic #my fic

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quietlysomethingalso · 6 years ago

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What makes Chuck the bad guy?

AKA, some extremely disjointed, overly-long, informal and fever-dream-esque thoughts about Jimmy and Chuck’s relationship. AKA a big rant-y meta post of the sort that I have said in the past that I was too lazy to actually make. And yet here I am. Spoilers for BCS season 4 (and earlier) ahead.

I also, though I know I probably shouldn’t, feel the need to point out that all of this is just my interpretation, and I’m not trying to say my take on things is perfect or (least of all) better than anybody else’s. Just tossing in my two cents is all.

So, first things first, I... don’t actually think Chuck is the “bad guy”, not exactly. That characterization is way too simplistic and I definitely do not think that is meant to be the ultimate takeaway from Jimmy and Chuck’s relationship. There is a scene at the end of season 3 where Kim makes it clear that she is wracked with guilt about the events of the bar hearing. Jimmy has no such scene- instead, not long after this, we get the scene where Jimmy sabotages Chuck with the insurance company. Not as a strategy, but just to lash out, out of spite. In the aftermath of Chuck’s death, as Jimmy and Kim grow more distant, we see Kim’s lingering humanity being juxtaposed with Jimmy’s stubborn refusal to accept any responsibility, or feel any remorse, for what he did to Chuck. It is the spark for Jimmy’s incredible season 4 descent into total, Saul Goodman moral bankruptcy. And I think this is evidence of the fact that Jimmy mishandled his relationship with Chuck.

But with that said, to say that Chuck mishandled his relationship with Jimmy in turn would be an understatement, and I do personally believe that he bears the brunt of the responsibility for the conflict the two of them had.

Chuck is a widely hated character across a lot of the Better Call Saul fandom (and yes, there is definitely a part of me that irrationally hates him, too), so it feels weird to be saying that lately I have been feeling like Jimmy needs someone to go to bat for him against his brother. Recently hollenius has made some incredibly insightful and well-articulated posts describing the nuance in Jimmy and Chuck’s relationship and explaining their reasons for identifying with and sympathizing with Chuck as a character. I’m absolutely not trying to call them out; they made really good points which I am not trying to criticize or “debunk” or anything (or even really directly address). But they did get me thinking more about my own thoughts on Jimmy and Chuck. I have never found Chuck to be more sympathetic than Jimmy- not by a long shot- and I think I just wanted to articulate some of my reasons for that. Partly just to get it down on paper, but also because I think it might help me to better understand my own thoughts on the show.

Better Call Saul is, just as Breaking Bad was, all about how characters change. In BCS, a major part of that is the characters’ attitudes about how people can change, if at all. The final scene of season 4 is so heartbreaking because it is the culmination of something we have seen over and over again in Jimmy and Kim’s dynamic- Kim believes that Jimmy can change, and that he can be a good person, and Jimmy is ignorant to it, and squandering it. (I have said before and I will say again, the tragedy of their relationship is that Jimmy has from Kim what he always wanted from Chuck, and he is just too stubborn to realize it.) We know what Chuck thinks about change, too. He puts it in as plain terms as possible. “People don’t change! You’re Slippin’ Jimmy!” In Chuck’s eyes, Jimmy was bad once, and so that’s all he will ever be, no matter what, full stop.

Is he wrong? Everything Chuck says about Jimmy seems to be true. Jimmy breaks the rules all the time even when he says he will try to change, and you can hardly pin that directly on Chuck (Chuck didn’t make him take a bribe from the Kettlemans, or go around Cliff’s back at D&M, etc. etc.). I believe it’s perfectly reasonable to look at the two of them and determine that Chuck simply knows Jimmy better than Jimmy knows himself, and is right not to trust him. But that’s not how I interpret it. In fact, I believe that Chuck’s beliefs about Jimmy have virtually nothing to do with Jimmy’s behavior in the first place. And I also believe that Chuck’s prophecy for Jimmy is self-fulfilling.

Here’s what I think: I think that Chuck hates Jimmy. Hates him not for his deeds, but hates him as a person. And he uses Jimmy’s troubled past as an excuse to let himself off the hook for it. I am actually extremely confident that this is what is going on with them. Chuck has a deep-seeded resentment of Jimmy. Mistrusting him is a foregone conclusion, and a crutch.

I think it’s really about jealousy. Specifically, Jimmy is good at making people like him, and Chuck is bad at it, and Chuck resents that. I don’t have any interviews to pull from off the cuff but I believe there are quotes from people involved with the show to this effect. It’s also really apparent in the flashbacks we get. Chuck is deeply disturbed by Jimmy’s platonic chemistry with Rebecca. And he resents Jimmy for being the favorite child of their parents. It goes hand in hand with Chuck constantly expressing his frustration that people have affection for Jimmy. This personal struggle that Chuck has with relationships is actually an incredibly sad and moving story that, in a certain way, makes me very sympathetic to him. What I find unacceptable is that he turns around and resents Jimmy for this. He blames Jimmy for being more loved than he is- after all, Jimmy is the “bad” one and he is the “good” one.

To answer the question of what makes Chuck the “bad guy”... well, really, a better question would really be, what do I think Chuck did wrong? In my opinion, it’s not really about what Chuck does to Jimmy, exactly, but how Chuck treats Jimmy. Was Jimmy entitled to a job at HHM just because he passed the bar? I certainly don’t think so. Not even after bringing in the Sandpiper case. (Although it obviously proves Jimmy could potentially be a major asset to the company, that doesn’t oblige Howard or Chuck to actually hire him; even if he were a flawless candidate, which he isn’t, that’s a decision they have the discretion to make.) The reason those decisions of Chuck’s are wrong isn’t because of the decisions themselves but the reasoning behind them. Chuck doesn’t reject Jimmy from HHM just because he doesn’t think Jimmy is qualified for the job (that’s something two brothers with a healthy relationship would be capable of having a rational conversation about, for goodness’s sakes!)- he does it because he actively wants to avoid giving Jimmy a chance to succeed. If Jimmy ever actually did succeed and improve himself, that would invalidate Chuck’s justification for resenting Jimmy. That would take away his crutch. And that is unacceptable to him.

Why did Chuck continue to pretend that he believed in Jimmy? Why did he make Howard take responsibility for him? Why did he allow Jimmy to idolize him and attach to him? I believe it is because Chuck knows on some level that his beliefs about Jimmy are wrong, and that’s what he is trying to hide.

I think the tragedy of Jimmy’s devolution into Saul- what we are meant to take away from his relationship with Chuck- is that Jimmy was, at one point, able to change, and Chuck prevented it. Not that Jimmy is flawless, but that his motivation was genuinely to be a better person. Would Slippin’ Jimmy have ever been concerned about whether it was ethical to take a bribe? Would Saul? Jimmy is ashamed of himself for it. The same way he is ashamed of himself for the billboard stunt to the point where he hides Chuck’s newspaper, just because he knows Chuck will be disappointed in him.

After Jimmy learns the truth about what Chuck thinks of him, he has a complete crisis of confidence and returns to Cicero. As Slippin’ Jimmy, he believed that trying to do the right thing just made you vulnerable (wolves and sheep!). He let his guard down when he tried to change for Chuck, and he got burned because of it. I don’t think Jimmy could ever get over that (again- the tragedy of Kim and Jimmy’s relationship!) Ever since, Jimmy slowly stopped questioning the ethics of his actions, and committed to his “the ends justify the means” mentality. And now he has found security in the old Slippin’ Jimmy mindset. Every man for himself.

Once again, to be clear, I’m not trying to say that I think Jimmy is free from blame, or that Jimmy was right to do what he did to Chuck. Absolutely not. Jimmy is incredibly flawed, and he makes bad decisions constantly, virtually nonstop; it’s one of his defining character traits. But I do believe that Chuck’s mistreatment of him is the reason for Jimmy’s downfall. And in that sense, it does make Chuck the “bad guy” of Better Call Saul- the reason that Jimmy went down the path to becoming Saul, in the end.

There’s that scene near the end of season 2, when Chuck is trying to convince Kim that Jimmy sabotaged him. Kim knows that Chuck is right- she knows that it is exactly the kind of thing that Jimmy would do, and that Chuck knows that, too. But she defends Jimmy anyway. And she lays into Chuck.

“I know he’s not perfect. And I know he cuts corners. But you’re the one who made him this way. He idolizes you. He accepts you. He takes care of you. And all he ever wanted was your love and support. But all you’ve ever done is judge him. You never believed in him. You never wanted him to succeed. And you know what? I feel sorry for him. And I feel sorry for you.”

I think it’s the single most important exchange in the entire show.

#better call saul #jimmy mcgill #chuck mcgill #meta #every time i get going it ends up being way too long and borderline incoherent #sorry friends #just talking to myself here

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inyri · 6 years ago

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I was wondering why you and your partner chosen ivf over adoption? I have heard many stories of why a couple chose adoption over ivf, but next to nothing on the opposite choice. As someone who never wants to have kids (I am happy to be an aunt when the time comes, but do not want my own), I have been curious. If this is too personal or you simply don’t want to answer, I completely accept and respect that; I just thought I might ask. Thank you! 😊

That’s a great question.

My husband and I had pretty much always been in agreement that we wanted kids at some point, and after we got married (9.5 years ago) we had initially held off as I got through medical school and residency due to the work hours and stress involved. When we got to a point where we felt like we were ready- well, shortly after that he got sick and ended up having his liver transplant. All told we tried the old-fashioned way, off and on due to his health, for about four years. I had done some initial testing about 3 years ago when it became apparent things weren’t going to plan, but we had waited for a while after that to give his health an opportunity to stabilize (which it has).

(cut for length)

Our choices are very much IVF vs adoption. My husband is adopted, actually- I’m not privy to his adoptive mother’s health history but neither she nor either of her sisters were ever able to have biological children- and that did play into our decision process. He’s always been a little bit conflicted about his adoption, particularly when it comes to whether or not to try to learn more: the state in which his adoption took place was closed-case at the time and he’d have to petition the court to open his record. Given the number of children who need homes, it’s surprisingly difficult (and expensive- the average cost of adoption in the USA is about $30,000 with foster care/DCFS being the exception) to adopt. In addition, we’re at a point in my career process where adoption would, frankly, be logistically difficult. We both moved around a lot as children, including abroad, and we’d like to share that experience with our own child(ren). But the adoption process takes time- a lot of time, in some cases- and our plans would likely not work in our favor as prospective adoptive parents.

(I will fully admit that I don’t know if I would be capable of adopting an older child out of the foster care system. I have many pediatric patients who are either still in the DCFS system or were adopted out of it, and so many of them have staggering developmental or mental health issues… I give their adoptive parents all the credit in the world for voluntarily taking that responsibility on themselves. But I’m not sure that I could do it. I suppose that’s selfish of me, but…)

Much as I complain about the frustrations of the IVF process, I’d like to have a biological child. That might sound selfish, too and it probably is a little bit, so I won’t make excuses for it. It is what it is. Many women don’t find pregnancy and childbirth to be something they want to experience, of course, whether or not they’d like to be mothers, and to discount their role as a mother to an adoptive child because they weren’t themselves pregnant is the worst kind of biological reductionism… and the process itself isn’t particularly pleasant, so especially for infertile women or NB people or anyone who’d need reproductive help for whatever reason, I certainly wouldn’t fault anyone who looks at weeks of injections and surgical procedures and says you know, I think I’ll pass. Other women might like to give birth to a child, but aren’t able to do so for reasons of physical or mental health. I’m fortunate on that front. I do, to be candid, have anxiety, but it tends to have fairly particular triggers and the process of IVF hasn’t been one beyond the logistics.

For us, the finances actually pushed us toward IVF. We live in a state that requires infertility coverage through employer-provided insurance (a minority in the US- only 15 states have this). I think we’ll still end up paying about $7,000 out of pocket between drug costs and deductibles- a fact that makes me rather jealous of my aggressively fertile friends as one can only hear oh, but we weren’t even really trying! so many times without wanting to put one’s head through a wall- but the cost of going entirely out of pocket would probably be well upward of $25,000. I’ve got a pretty good chance of this working, all things considered. I’m relatively young by infertility standards and our particular issue’s nearly 100% male factor. Assuming the embryos grow well (we’re using a procedure called ICSI- intracytoplasmic sperm injection- which directly injects the sperm into the egg, improving our chances there… again, covered by our insurance) I’ve got about a 50-50 shot with each transferred embryo.

If I were older, or had health factors of my own where the odds of success were much less… I think we’d have leaned more toward adoption. I know couples who’ve spent a hundred thousand dollars on multiple IVF cycles, only to end in failure every time. That’s hard to fathom. So if this doesn’t work… we’ll see, I suppose.

I hope that sort of answers your question, anon, and I don’t mind at all answering- one of the nice things about this platform is that I can be candid and relatively anonymous at the same time, and as a doctor myself I think there’s a lot of advantage to being able to have open discussions about these kinds of issues!

#inyri does ivf #thanks for the ask!#Anonymous

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poisonivy-21 · 6 years ago

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February Stars part two Libra - Pisces

LIBRA:

Well, you don’t exactly coast into February, Libra, since it looks like things are amped up and intense the first couple days. Mars is ready for passion, anger, fights, or motivating action/reaction involving partners, clients, specialists, representatives, or other key players, while Pluto is about changes or financial, sexual, death, birth, divorce, or third-party needs at home, with real estate deals, moves, renovations, family, parents, or roommates. So you have lots of dynamic activity pushing something here, do your part to figure it out, get active but avoid confrontations about it.

You’ve had so many tests and profound changes ongoing with your home or family that Venus arriving here on the 3rd should be very welcome news! She is going to be helping to smooth out issues or she may attract the love or money to these areas of life or make it about women or beauty interests that are benefiting or the focus of your time here. She is above all an energy that brings more pleasure and her presence here now until the very last day of March gives you a breather and time to enjoy what is going on.

February holds a New Moon on the 4th that is about new opportunities or next chapters in ongoing stories pertaining to your love life or lovers, your creative endeavors, any recreational pursuits, or the kids. You have momentum here over the next 2 weeks so be proactive about what you’d like to do while the energy is with you.

Next up this month is an influx of energy around work situations, health or animals. This begins on the 10th onward and that is thanks to Mercury showing up to open up talks or meetings about it, get you into agreements or sales, writing or interviews, short trips, local activities, offers, or decisions that can move things along. Therefore, if you are out of work this is a good month to pursue and if you’d like to advance an idea in a job already in gear then go for it. You might start a new diet or visit a new healthcare professional or adopt a pet or get involved in animal rescue, you get the idea. This same force can help you with co-workers, hired help, paperwork, getting organized, or cleaning. The Sun will join in on the 18th onward, kicking off a 30-day cycle about these topics and helping you to show up and get more personally or physically involved or to make it more about your interests moving forward.

It’s been 2 years since you had Mars heating things up in your sex or reproductive life, getting you active about financial matters (loans, inheritance, bankruptcy, taxes, insurance, alimony, etc), doing something about a birth, death or rebirth scenario, fired up over a divorce, triangle, jealousy, or something in a transformational or power move in your life. Now, on the 14th, Happy Valentine’s Day, Mars is back! So, expect to get busier, to have more passion about it, to fight the good fight or stir up anger issues to be dealt with, and to make things happen. Mars will be here until the last day of March so it’s time to do it.

Chiron is the energy of wounds and vulnerabilities as well as healing and stepping into your own guru energy as the healer/teacher based on your understanding of said wounds or vulnerabilities. He is changing signs on the 18th, moving into your relationship zone where he will now tour until April 2027. This is your cue that it’s time to focus on any personal or physical wounds or vulnerabilities with romantic or business partners, clients, specialists, agents, attorneys, competitors, advocates, or other relationships moving forward. So, where do you feel vulnerable, how can you start to heal that, who do you need to reach out to or focus on in this story (besides yourself of course), or are you ready to start helping clients, partners, specialists, reps, competitors, etc, via some understanding you have of such wounds or vulnerabilities? Pay attention to what is coming up now since it is your clue as to where to start with this matter.

Finally, there is a Full Moon on the 19th that is bringing something to a climax in your 12th house. This may mean something is culminating with a film, music, painting, or other artistic pursuit, it could be about a romantic tryst or getaway, the karmic balance with someone or some situation, your spiritual practices or beliefs (prayer, meditation, yoga, etc), or it could be something peaking with a hospital, spa, retreat, or other institution, an addiction or bad habit, a secret or deception, or an investigation or research project. Whichever it is for you, this is the time when you could see endings, breakthroughs, wrap-ups, celebrations, or achievements here.

SCORPIO:

It looks like you are amped up and into something intense as February opens, at least the first 2 days, while Mars and Pluto, your 2 rulers, are in a frictional square. Mars is about passion, anger, fights, or action/reaction focused on work, co-workers, hired help, paperwork, health interests, or animals, while Pluto is about power, change or any financial, sexual, divorce, death, birth, jealousy, or triangle scenarios addressed via talks, meetings, agreements, sales, writing, short trips, interviews, offers, or decisions. So, expect to be busy and do your part to figure things out rather than get into conflicts.

Good things are kicking in for you via short trips and local activities, your writing, talks and meetings, interviews and offers, as well as with your siblings, neighbours, vehicles, or electronics, and you can thank Venus for showing up here on the 3rd to get the ball rolling. Her presence here the rest of the month is all about attracting the love or income flow through these areas or focusing on women or beauty interests. She should help you smooth out issues or enjoy what you are doing so dive in.

There is a New Moon on the 4th that is about your home or family scenarios. This is your cue to launch into something new or to take some current interest to the next level. Make it about your home or a move, the renovation or real estate deal, your family or parent, the roommates or security needs, and also about your emotional connections going on right now. You will have 2 weeks of added momentum behind what you do starting now.

You will also have more energy showing up about your love life or lovers, the kids, your creative ventures, and recreation this month. It starts on the 10th as Mercury arrives here and opens up more communications, ideas, meetings, proposals, short trips, and local experience about these topics as well. By the 18th the Sun joins the story and will be touring here over the next 30 days. This means you can stand out or focus on your own interests in the mix and it should definitely be about you showing up and getting more personally or physically involved in a few of these topics.

Your co-ruler, Mars, is kicking off 6-plus weeks of fired-up energy with partners, clients, specialists, competitors, agents, attorneys, or other relationships starting on the 14th, Happy Valentine’s Day! Mars is about more passion here or he can spark anger or bring up your fighting spirit. He can also motivate you to do more now than you’ve been capable of over the last couple years without his added heat about it so plan on getting busy, it’s go time (yes, I love saying that, lol).

Chiron is the energy of wounds and vulnerability as well as the spiritual guru energy of the teacher/healer to others that comes from your understanding of said wounds and vulnerabilities. He is heading into your work, health and animal zone on the 18th where he will now tour until April 2027. So, this is your cue that it’s time to look at how you feel vulnerable or wounded with work scenarios, co-workers or hired help, your health, the pets, any paperwork, or cleaning and organizing. Over the years ahead you’ll be working on healing any personal or physical involvement or what is going on with your name, title, brand, image, or body at work or regarding your health, the animals, your co-workers, the hired help, the paperwork, or your cleaning or organizing. You’ll also be stepping into your own guru teacher/healer nature about it so pay attention to what is coming up around this point since it will give you a clue where to start.

Finally, there is a Full Moon on the 19th that is focused on your friends and groups, the internet or gatherings, astrology or charities, your own aspirations or original projects, as well as on freedom or causes. At this point in your year you may be wrapping something up you’ve been working on or involved with, ending something you are over, celebrating a breakthrough, or achieving a goal here, aim high.

SAGITTARIUS:

February likely starts with a bang, Sage, as Mars and Pluto are squared off the first couple days. Mars is about the passion, anger, fights, or action/reaction going on with/about the kids, a creative venture, the lover/love life, or recreational pursuits. Pluto is about changes or the financial, sexual, reproductive, divorce, death, birth, or third-party matters focused on income, purchases, possessions, or products. So, you’ll be busy with what is going on between something in each of these areas and it will mean figuring it out and doing what you need to do while avoiding conflict.

Alright, Sage, there’s reason to look up when it comes to your income situation, your purchases and possessions this month and that is thanks to Venus heading into this zone to start attracting the good stuff. Her presence here begins on the 3rd and throughout the rest of February she should help you smooth out issues or start to get into a groove with love or money flow, women or beauty interests with these topics. So look for enjoying things a bit more and how these combinations can best help you.

There is next a New Moon on the 4th which is about your communications zone. This is your time of the year to get an added cosmic boost forward with talks or meetings, agreements or sales, writing or interviews, offers or decisions, as well as with short trips, local activities, siblings, neighbours, vehicles, or electronics. You can get momentum behind these matters for the next 2 weeks so look at starting something new or taking a current interest to the next level.

You will also have new energy arriving to beef up what is going on at home, with real estate deals, moves, renovations, with family, parents, or roommates and this kicks in as soon as the 10th onward. First, Mercury shows up here, opening up talks and meetings about it or helping you move ahead with agreements, sales, writing, offers, or decisions in the mix. You can involve the neighbours, hook up the electronics, invite the brothers or sisters, aunts or uncles over, or hear news you’ve been waiting on about it. The Sun joins the story from the 18th onward, kicking off his 30-day cycle here and this is your cue to start showing up and getting more personally or physically involved in these topics. It should be a good time to stand out, take the lead and make it more about you and your interests in the mix.

Mars has been away from your 6th house topics for 2 years but on the 14th, Happy Valentine’s Day, he returns and starts to fire you up about work, health or animal interests. He will tour here until the last day of March giving you more passion about what you are doing or helping you fight for something, deal with anger or motivate and make things happen. So, expect to put some energy into getting ahead on the job or landing a new gig, doing things with co-workers, starting a healthy new diet or tending to health needs, adopting a pet or getting involved with an animal rescue or shelter, tackling paperwork, organizing and cleaning, or hiring someone to help. As long as you sidestep the shorter fuse you will have around these topics you can accomplish a great deal here in the next 6-plus weeks.

Chiron is the energy of vulnerabilities and wounds as well as healing and your own personal guru healer/teacher energy based on your personal experience of said wounds and vulnerabilities. He is now moving into your zone of lovers, children, creativity, and recreation starting on the 18th, where he will tour through April 2027. So, it’s time to examine your wounds or vulnerabilities here, to look at a healing process and start to steps towards your own self-mastery and abilities to help others through this understanding. It may mean looking at your own personal or physical involvement with lovers, the kids, creative endeavors, or recreation, or it could be about your body, image, brand, name, title, or needs in these areas. Pay attention to what comes up around this date for clues about where to start.

Finally, there is a Full Moon on the 19th that is bringing something to a peak for you around a certain personal goal, your status, fame, or reputation, your career, or an authority figure like a boss, parent, judge, or mentor. You could get news you’ve been waiting on about it, make a big decision, end something, wrap up a project about it, garner some recognition, or achieve and celebrate in these areas, aim high.

CAPRICORN:

The first couple days of February are intense thanks to a Mars/Pluto square so expect to be busy. Mars is about passion, anger, fights, or action/reaction focused on home, real estate deals, moves, renovations, family, parents, or roommates. Pluto is about power, changes, sexual or financial needs, death or birth, divorce or third-party matters and is in your sign, focused on your needs or physical involvement or what is going on with your body, image, brand, name, or title in the situation. The push is on, do your part to figure it out and avoid conflicts, the energy is about to get much better.

Capricorn, you’ve been hosting so much challenging stuff with both Saturn and Pluto in your sign along with the Karmic South Node but after the first couple days of this month things should start to lift up as Venus is heading your way, entering your sign on the 3rd, and staying with you the rest of the month. Her presence here is a chance to smooth something out or to focus on her impact on your body, image, brand, name, title, or personal needs. This can be about a woman who is beneficial to your interests or one whom you’ve been focusing on that has had an impact on who you are, your identity or well-being. It can be about beauty interests, a time to treat yourself to a make-over, or nice new things. It can be about love and how that is impacting you or finally, Venus can bring a focus on income and help you attract that through your personality and willingness to show up and pursue it. Overall, it should make for a more enjoyable month.

There is a New Moon on the 4th which is like the cosmos giving you a push forward, helping you to start something new or take things to the next level with your income, purchases, possessions, or products. This bodes well for obtaining something more than you have beforehand and you will have 2 weeks starting now to make it happen, aim high.

You also have new energy showing up in your communications and merchant arena starting as soon as the 10th. First, Mercury arrives, which is like a double-helping when it comes to talks and meetings, agreements and sales, writing and interviews, short trips or moves, local activities, offers and decisions. This can also help you open things up with siblings, neighbors, vehicles, or electronics if you need to move things along here. The Sun then joins the story starting on the 18th onward which is your cue to start showing up and getting more involved in these topics while you have more of an edge. This should help you to stand out, take the lead and make it more about your interests over the next 30 days.

It’s been 2 years since Mars visited your 5th house but now on the 14th, Happy Valentine’s Day, he returns and he will now tour this arena until the last day of March! The 5th house is about true love and lovers, your creative endeavors, recreational pursuits, and the kids. Mars is about getting busier than you’ve been in some time with these topics, stirring passions, dealing with anger issues, and motivating you to make things happen in these areas. So, expect to be in there and all fired up, it’s time to do it.

Chiron is the energy of vulnerabilities and wounds as well as of healing and stepping into your own spiritual guru nature of healer/teacher that stems from your own experience of said wounds/vulnerabilities. On the 18th he is moving into your zone of home, real estate deals, moves, renovations, family, parents, early childhood history, ancestry, security needs, emotional drive, and roommates. He will now tour here until April 2027. So, it’s time to take a look at your early years and your family, how secure you feel and your roots in life, moves or real estate, roommates or other said topics in this zone and start the process of healing old wounds and tackling vulnerabilities. You are also now on the journey to step into your own spiritual guru energy here so look for ways to guide or heal others about these topics, you will become a master here. Pay attention to what is going on around this date for clues about where to start.

Finally, the Full Moon on the 19th is bringing something to a head with a legal matter, educational pursuit, your media or marketing venture, travel plans, a situation at a distance, a wedding or other ceremony, or with religious, philosophical or political topics. So, you could be wrapping up a class or finally in front of your students teaching, you could be garnering some media attention or finalizing agreements for that marketing idea. You could be signing the legal contracts or ending a long legal battle, walking down the isle or performing a releasing ceremony. Or you could be on the plane heading out to some grand adventure or landing after one is complete, you get the idea, it’s about peak situations culminating in these matters.

AQUARIUS:

February starts out with Mars and Pluto duking it out and getting you amped up and busy. Mars is about passion, anger, fights, or action/reaction playing out locally or on short trips, with siblings or neighbours, vehicles or electronics, writing or interviews, talks or meetings, sales or agreements, or your decisions. Pluto is about changes or your financial, sexual, triangle, death, birth, or divorce scenarios playing out behind the scenes, in secret, with addictions, romantic trysts, artistic pursuits, spiritual practices, magic, psychic abilities, institutions such as hospitals, spas or retreats, or via research or investigations. So, you’ll have something pushing between these two forces and you should do your part to figure it out while avoiding conflict, (careful with words and on the road).

Some nice energy is on it’s way to your 12th house topics as soon as the 3rd onward, Aquarius. This is all about Venus heading behind the scenes to start bringing more positive flow to art, film, music, prayer, meditation, yoga, romance, spas, retreats, hospitals, other institutions, investigations, research, or even in help with bad habits or addictions, secrets or deceptions. Her presence here can smooth out issues or make the focus about a woman or women. It can help you move forward with beauty interests (spa, hospital, etc?) or focus on love (romantic getaways or trysts?). Finally, she can help with income flow in any of the topics of your 12th house so look for ways to enjoy here presence here over the rest of the month.

There is a New Moon in your sign this month on the 4th and that gives you 2 strong weeks starting now to launch into something new or next level that is all about you! You can make this about what you’d like to do about your body or focus on your image. It can be about your name or title, brand or physical involvement in something of interest, as well as a personal desire you’d like to pursue at the moment. Be proactive while you have this momentum gathering boost behind you.

There is new energy arriving in your earning, purchasing and possessions zone starting on the 10th. This should help you get into more talks or meetings about income, what you’re buying or your products or possessions. It can also open up agreements or sales about it, get you into interviews or writing about it, or make it about short trips or local activities going on about it. The Sun joins the story from the 18th onward which is your cue to start showing up and getting more personally or physically involved in these income, purchases and possessions interests. The next 30 days can help you stand out, take the lead and make it more about your interests in these areas.

Mars has been away 2 years but now returns to your home and family zone starting on the 14th, Happy Valentine’s Day! He will be firing up the activity here until the last day of March, giving you 6-plus weeks to make things happen at home, with moves, renovations, real estate deals, family, parents, or roommates. Mars may stir more passion in these areas or spark anger issues or fights, but overall, he is about getting busier than you’ve been in a while and moving things forward so dive in.

Chiron is the energy of wounds and vulnerabilities as well as healing those wounds and stepping more into your own spiritual guru healer/teacher energy based on your experience of said wounds and vulnerabilities. On the 18th he is entering your 3rd house where he will now tour until April 2027. So, it’s time to look at where you feel vulnerable or wounded on a personal or physical level, with your body, image, brand, name, title, involvement, or needs with brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, or neighbours, your thoughts, agreements, talks, speaking roles, writing, interviews, proposals, and decisions, a move, neighbourhood activities, short trips, vehicles/transportation, and electronics. How can you heal or start the healing process, how can you start to help others via these areas of life through your own understanding of said wounds? Pay attention to what is coming up around this date for clues about where to start the process.

Finally, the Full Moon on the 19th is about something culminating in your sex life, with a reproductive matter, a death, a birth, the divorce, a loan, the debt, an inheritance, the taxes, insurances policies, alimony, child support, a partner’s money, or other shared/outside financial resources. It can also bring things to a head with third-party matters/triangles, power struggles, self-empowerment, controlling interest in something, jealousy, obsessions, or manipulations. So expect to reach goals, wrap things up or mark endings, or celebrate something in one or more of these areas at this time.

PISCES:

The first 2 days of February are intense thanks to a Mars/Pluto square, Pisces, so plan on having a lot of amped up energy as Mars will focus passion, anger, fights, or action/reaction on income needs, purchases, values, what you’re building, being valued, your possessions, or products, while Pluto will focus on changes and any sexual, financial, triangle, divorce, death, birth, or reproductive situations playing out with friends, groups, the internet, astrology, charities, gatherings, your aspirations, or original projects. Do you part to figure it out and move things along while avoiding conflict between these 2 lists of objectives.

February next looks to be one of you more enjoyable social months thanks to Venus heading into your 11th house starting on the 3rd onward. Her presence here can help you focus on love or income, women or beauty interests when out with friends or active in groups, online or with charities, in your astrology or at gatherings, or around your aspirations or original projects. If you need to smooth something out in these social arenas this can help, if you need to attract the love or income, women or beauty interests in social areas of life it can help and overall it should make it more enjoyable to participate.

The New Moon on the 4th is giving you a boost forward over the next 2 weeks with art, film, music, romantic getaways or trysts, prayer, meditation, yoga, spas, retreats, hospitals, or other institutions, investigations or research, or with addictions, bad habits, boundary issues, secrets, or deceptions. This can help you with new opportunities or to take things into the next chapter with an ongoing situation so be proactive while you have this momentum.

You have energy arriving in your sign this month which is always a good personal or physical boost. It starts on the 10th with Mercury heading into Pisces. His tour here over the weeks ahead can help you get into talks or meetings about you and your interests, he can open up interviews, writing, agreements, sales, short trips, proposals, or decisions that involve you in some physical or personal way or hone in on your name, title, brand, image, or body in the equation. The Sun joins in on the 18th onward which means you start to really get in there and make a go of something important to you. You’ll have 30 days with this spotlight on you so make it count while you have the edge.

Mars has been away in other territories over the last 2 years but now on the 14th, Happy Valentine’s Day, he returns to your local and communication zone. He will be here until the last day of March, giving you 6+ weeks to motivate and move things along with talks or meetings, agreements or sales, interviews or auditions, writing or proposals, short trips or local activities, siblings or neighbours, vehicles or electronics, or with your decisions. Mars can stir passions about these matters, help you deal with anger issues about it or find yourself in a fight or two, but overall just do it so expect to be busy here.

Chiron is the energy of vulnerabilities and wounds as well as healing and your own spiritual guru abilities to heal/teach others that comes from your experience of said vulnerabilities and wounds. On the 18th he is moving into your zone of income, purchases, possessions, and products where he will now tour until April 2027. So, it’s time to look at where you feel vulnerable or wounded in these areas and start to take the steps to heal. Is it about your personal or physical needs here or about what is going on with your body, image, brand, name, title, or involvement where you should address vulnerabilities or wounds and start the healing process with these income, purchases, possessions, or products. When are you going to feel ready to reach out to others going through something you’ve experienced here to help in some way? Look for what is going on in these areas around the 18th for clues about where to start.

Finally, the Full Moon arrives on the 19th and is bringing something to a climax with a romantic or business partner, the clients, a specialist, the opponent or competitor, an agent or attorney, an advocate, or some other relationship. This is when things come through, wrap up, are celebrated, end, or are achieved with or about these relationships, aim high.

Moonflower )O(

Via http://zoemoonastrology.blogspot.com/

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badacts · 7 years ago

Text

protective parental units

If Andrew ever wondered, back when he was a teenager, where he would end up in his thirties, it wouldn’t have been doing a school run. At all, never mind with his kid.

Life is unpredictable, it turns out.

On Thursdays he picks Kevin up from school after work and drops him at the local outdoor Exy court for practice. Neil will pick him up later on the way back from his own afternoon gym session with his teammates, which gives Andrew an hour or so to do nothing before he has to start dinner.

He’s been in for maybe twenty minutes watching something mindless on HGTV about redecorating kitchens when the buzzer goes off. Andrew isn’t expecting anyone and debates ignoring it for a moment, but then gets it anyway.

“Hi, Mister Minyard,” Jason, the doorman, says from the other end. “I’ve got a Tetsuji Moriyama here to see you?”

Well. That’s interesting.

“Send him up,” Andrew says, and hangs up.

A few minutes later, there’s a single knock at the door. Andrew pulls it open to get his first look at the man on the other side.

He’s not much to look at. Not that old – mid-fifties to Andrew’s thirty-five – but walks with a cane. Taller than Andrew, but not exactly tall. Quiet-faced and with the bearing of someone used to being respected. Used to power.

He doesn’t look like a comedian, but Andrew can’t exactly talk on that front either.

“Mister Minyard,” Tetsuji says. “I was hoping to speak with you.”

Andrew looks at him for a moment longer, and then turns away. He leaves the door open behind him and hears it click closed as Tetsuji follows him inside.

They go into the kitchen, where Andrew takes a seat at the table. Tetsuji does the same after a moment. They end up on opposing sides, face to face.

“I presume, considering your…partner’s profession, you know who I am,” Tetsuji says.

“I know who you are,” Andrew replies.

There’s another pause before Tetsuji says, “I’m here in regards to Kevin.”

Andrew tilts his head in an invitation to go on. Tetsuji interlocks his fingers on the table.

“I’m sure you know that Kayleigh originally intended for Kevin’s guardianship to be passed to me in the event of her death. However, her close relationship with Mister Josten meant he took Kevin in. I think that was for the best, considering,” Tetsuji says. “I’ve begun to hear of Kevin’s talent for Exy already. I wanted to raise a proposition. As you may know, my nephew Riko is Kevin’s age, and also exceptionally talented. I thought it might be for the best for Kevin to be fostered alongside Riko so that the two of them can train together.”

Andrew says, “You believe in starting them early, then.”

“It’s been proven that training under the correct tutelage produces higher quality athletes when begun at a young age.”

“Kevin is ten years old.”

“Which should prove my point, in the long run.”

“You are a college coach. I struggle to understand what you want with a child.”

“And I understand your reticence, considering your own childhood.”

Tetsuji has done his research, then. All he probably had to do was read a newspaper and make an educated guess, but he doesn’t seem the kind of man to leave it at that. Andrew wonders how much cash it took to buy Tetsuji the whole sordid story.

“Kevin would have the best education available, while receiving the kind of training that will see him reaching the top of the sport. It’s an opportunity many players his age and older would kill for. And more, it’s his birth right.”

“You and I come from very different worlds,” Andrew observes calmly. His own birth right would have seen him dead and buried by now, and he might have believed in the concept once upon a time.

He doesn’t, not anymore.

Tetsuji inclines his chin in agreement. “I’m sure that won’t stop you from making the right decision with regards to Kevin, however.”

“No,” Andrew agrees. “Neil doesn’t like you very much. Did you know that?”

“He is forthright when it comes to sharing his opinions. I hope our personal differences in opinion don’t influence you from making the correct decision, either.”

Andrew hums. “‘Personal differences in opinion.’ I wasn’t aware we were calling it that now.”

Tetsuji’s silence is a prompt for Andrew to explain.

“Neil grew up amongst criminals. He doesn’t want the same for Kevin,” Andrew says. “Neither do I.”

Andrew grew up with criminals, too. There’s not much difference between those who only do violence to the people closest to them and those who do violence on a grander scale. And Tetsuji might belong to a lesser branch, but he is by no means untainted.

Tetsuji doesn’t speak, though there has been a shift in his expression. Re-evaluating, Andrew thinks.

Andrew says, “When I said I knew who you were, did you think I was exaggerating?”

“I was of the understanding that Neil is generally less outspoken when it comes to secrets regarding his father’s business.”

“He didn’t need to tell me anything. I am more than capable of doing my own research.”

“You are a lawyer.”

“And your family has paid off a lot of lawyers.”

Andrew isn’t silver-tongued like Neil, but he knows how to get his point across.

Tetsuji blinks slowly. “I note you haven’t used this information that you have apparently gathered.”

Contrary to popular belief, Andrew didn’t become a DA because he believes in goodness and light and what the fuck ever else. He specifically studied as a fuck you to everyone who ever touched him with the knowledge that they would never, ever face any consequences.

Andrew shrugs one shoulder, casual. “No one has given me a good reason to.”

Go ahead. Give me a reason to.

Tetsuji didn’t come here to take a ‘no’ for an answer. Maybe he thought Andrew would be a softer target than Neil.

Maybe he should have done more research himself.

“Let me be clear,” Andrew says, because Neil could talk in circles all day but that isn’t his style. “Kevin stays with us. If you want to recruit him for your team, you can do it when he’s in high school, like a normal teenager.”

Kevin has wanted to go to USC to play for the Trojans since he was seven, but Tetsuji doesn’t need to know that.

“He isn’t a normal teenager.” Oh, yes, his ‘blood rite’.

“Being good at a sport doesn’t make anyone special.” Maybe that’s hypocritical from someone who got a degree out of standing in a goal for five years, but Andrew has never claimed to be normal, either.

“I hope you’ll reconsider,” Tetsuji says after a moment, voice level.

“If you think there is any chance of that, you have’t been listening,” Andrew replies. “Neil will arrive in ten minutes. If I were you, I would insure he doesn’t see you here.”

Tetsuji stands, and for a moment Andrew stays in place, letting the other man have the advantage of height. He waits to feel intimidated but, unsurprisingly, it doesn’t come. Then he stands too, walking Tetsuji to the door.

“Thank you for your time,” Tetsuji says with a nod. Andrew looks at him for another moment, eye to eye, and then closes the door on him.

True to Andrew’s expectations, Neil and Kevin come in ten minutes later, their voices a quiet jumble as they move through the house.

“Hey,” Kevin chirps as he appears in the kitchen and makes a beeline for the pantry to look for a snack. Andrew, who is slicing vegetables on the bench, doesn’t even bother to look. Kevin has no sweet tooth to speak of so generally snacks on crackers and cheese, if not fruit. He will eat crisps by the bag, though.

“Hi,” Andrew replies.

“Hey,” Neil says. “Kevin, shower. You stink.”

“Do not,” Kevin replies through a mouthful of food, though he’s only saying it for the sake of argument. “Why don’t you shower?”

“Because I already did,” Neil replies. “You’ve got…how long?”

That’s aimed at Andrew, who says, “Twenty minutes.”

“Noooo,” Kevin whines, and then there’s a clatter as he vacates the room. Their ‘no one who smells like a gym locker room gets fed’ rule is going to work even better on him when he’s a teenager.

“Hey,” Neil says again, once Kevin has left the kitchen. He appears at Andrew’s side. “Let me help?”

“Put a pot of water on,” Andrew tells him, but lets Neil kiss him firm and warm on the mouth before prodding him into action.

Another thing he couldn’t have predicted back in the bad old days, besides the school runs – Neil fucking Josten.

“Hey.” Third time is the charm, apparently. Andrew meets Neil’s gaze head on, finding it still as ever. “You’re alright?”

“Yes,” Andrew replies. “Tetsuji Moriyama stopped by.”

There’s a shift in Neil, from familiar to something less so. Something sharp, broken glass and winter chill. “What did he want?”

“Kevin,” Andrew says, and it’s immediately clear that Neil isn’t surprised by that. “I told him no.”

“He won’t necessarily take no for an answer.”

“You know what happens when people don’t listen to me saying no,” Andrew replies, keeping hold of his eyes, voice steady like stone.

Neil smiles. It’s not a particularly nice one, no warmth in it, but Andrew likes it anyway. He likes it better when Neil presses it to Andrew’s mouth and then lets it shift into a kiss, firm and hot, then hotter.

“Yeah,” Neil says eventually, breath branding Andrew’s jaw. “I do.”

#spoiler: he stabs them #it works for him #andreil #kid kevin verse #the foxhole court #tetsuji moriyama #my fic #child abuse cw #only discussion thereof tho

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enthusiasticsobrietyabuse · 4 years ago

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60 Minutes Main Points Memo - Bob Meehan & PDAP

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There are some admirable things about about the Palmer Drug Abuse Program, some questionable things, and not a few incomprehensible sides, and I think that is the point of this story, and I think that is the way we should preface our interview with the hospital folks and with Meehan.

Briefly:

Structure and organization:

At the top is the National Office, with Ed Leach as Director, and Bob Meehan as Founder, who co-runs the whole thing. There is a comptroller, a director of training, a parents coordinator (Meehan’s wife) and several other people. The National office has a national board of Trustees, made up of prominent people. Carole Burnett and Joe Hamilton will become trustees shortly. The National office is funded partly by assessments on the Central offices of the 12 cities in the program, and partly by donations from individuals and large corporations and the National office supervises the training of new counselors.

Each city in which the program exists has a central office headed by a Director, and under the central office are the neighborhood programs, called satellites. They invariably operate out of churches which have donated space. Each satellite has a Senior Counselor and a Counselor. Each satellite must be self supporting and is assessed to support the City central office. At each satellite there is a parents group which largely supplies the money to support the Satellite.

The Satellites are divided into age groups for PDAP members... up to 16 and 17 above. The younger groups meet one night a week, but their satellites are open during the day, and the meeting nights are staggered so that kids often go to other satellites on other nights. The older group satellites generally operate all day five days a week, and in the older groups are many kids who are not in school or working and who spend most of their time at the satellite. For both groups there are many weekend activities, parties, dances and the like.

Both groups have parent groups which meet separately the same night the satellite holds it’s weekly meeting. For both groups the basic document is the 12 step program, patterned after Alcoholics Anonymous.

The System:

When a kid comes in, or is brought in by parents, or referred in by probation or some other source, the counselor tries to get a commitment for 30 days of chemical free life... no dope, no drugs, no booze. If he stays off for 30 days he gets a “fist” at a meeting, with an elaborate and moving presentation. The fist is plaited leather square at the end of a leather necklace, the traditional monkey fist made at the end of nautical lines that are thrown for help from one boat to another or to the shore. It is on the honor system, and there are reports that not all “fistees” are so honest.

During the thirty days the counselors and peers really start putting the pressure on, in a small meeting, and small and large groups... the pressure not only to be chemical-free, but also to commit your life to the 12 steps, to be open, to love, to put faith and trust in God and in fellow PDAPers. Meetings are a cross between mass group psychotherapy and Baptist witnessing, and AA “I need help.” There is a lot of cheering and hugging and hand holding and I love you’s, all of which we have recorded beautifully on film.

During this initial month starts the “life is in the group - death is outside” message. And as the months go on the counselors try to see who is rising to the top, which people seem to have leadership qualities. Those who do are selected out to train as future counselors, and it is clear that one’s goal in life would be met if he could get a job as a counselor and work 7 days a week for PDAP for a modest income.

In short, what PDAP says is that kicking chemicals is not enough. You must be reborn into the greater society of PDAP.

The Criticism:

1. PDAP, which started out as a peer-centered, innovative, relatively modest program to get kids off drugs has turned into a religious experience, a way of life, a somewhat paranoid, us vs them organization led by a charismatic character, some would say con-man, who’s motto is “stick with winners.” Winners are those in PDAP. See attached sheet of comments.

2. What was undoubtedly a fulfilling experience for Bob Meehan - not only rising from the slough of drug and alcohol addiction, but founding an organization to help others do the same - now appears to have gone off on an ego trip. He loves the central, guru role, loves to be accepted in polite society (trustees and fund givers) while behaving outrageously. He is unabashed about making money and hopes to make a lot more. He volunteered the fact that the hospital PDAP sends kids to pays him a 50,000 dollar consultant fee (see hospital pages attached) and sees absolutely nothing wrong with it. He is, by his own admission, the country’s leading expert on drug abuse. He is absolutely, totally convinced that his way, PDAP’s way, is the only way.

There are those, though, who just as firmly believe that PDAP will collapse id Meehan doesn’t go. It is in danger of being destroyed by overly fast expansion (particularly since the Burnett stories), of having a hierarchy that has become an end in itself, and which has obscured the original aim of getting kids off drugs. There is too much administration, too much of an overlay on business, on fundraising, on rock bands, on I can do no wrong.

It is clearly a program aimed at the middle class and above. A black or chicano face in the staff or membership is an oddity, and observers say that is because Blacks and Chicano’s cannot provide the financial support now needed to pay for the size staff it now has, no do they have the kind of insurance that will support a hospital stay.

Meehan says PDAP is based on AA, but there is a major difference. AA has systems, but no hierarchal structure, and that is the reason it has survived. PDAP has lost sight of that, and that, and the emphasis on all life inside the group, is the reason PDAP will probably fail if it doesn’t change.

3. Statistics, success and costs:

They boost that they have a success rate of 70%, and that they only spend $300 per year per kid in the program. What they mean is that 70% of the kids who walk in the door stay sober for 30 days and get their fist. Even that figure I believe to be hyped, but long term statistics are nonexistent, and perhaps 15 or 20 percent stay sober for a year. As for the 300 dollar per year figure... Obviously a hype based on the number of people in the program, a figure to believed to be grossly inflated.

Besides, even if you accept that figure the average should include the staggering cost of the hospitalization of a large number of kids... 8 to 12 thousand dollars per times at least 5 or six hundred kids. Even though PDAP doesn’t pay that, someone does.

In addition their bookkeeping is bad, and accounting firms who audit their books imply there are a lot of contributions that are not recorded.

They recently got an outfit in Dallas to work up a system for keeping statistics on the success rate in the Dalles program. I’ll discuss that separately with you. It’s full of gaping holes.

4. The Hospital

As you will see in the attached research on the Deer Park Hospital, that whole system functions as an arm of PDAP, is by and large unnecessary for the needs of most of the people who go there, and is really used as a way for PDAP to get it’s message across in a controlled and isolated atmosphere. The hospital pages tell more.

Comments from others:

Once you get into the program there’s no easy way to leave it. You can get in, get straight, learn those things, but there’s no easy way to get back to regular living, being in society.

They make it sound that if you leave, no matter how long you’ve been off drugs or alcohol, you’re just going to die, to fall apart.

There was never an effort to get people out. The ultimate job in the world was being on staff. There was no other job worth anything.

Not more than 10 or 15 % of the people who come into PDAP are serious drug users.

At Deer Park Hospital most of the people I saw didn’t have to be there. Most of the people where were in there so PDAP could make a big impression on them right from the beginning. It was the trouble makers that ended up there... a lot of them were just little kids just having fun. They were brainwashed from the very beginning... to get nothing but PDAP for six weeks.

There was a simplistic evaluation about parents. Your parents were good if they got involved with PDAP. If they didn’t, you were told not to pay any attention to them.

They don’t look at it like you’re coming into this program to recover and move on. They look at it like you have stepped into a better way of life than everybody else in the whole world has. That’s the problem. And if you want to leave, there’s something wrong with you... Bob Meehan thought I was going to be in the gutter with a needle in my arm because I was leaving. They really think that way. To them, when you get to PDAP, you have arrived. Your not working toward working back to be a regular old guy in society. You’re there, man.

The kids were told constantly that if they left the program they would die. The only end result would be that they would go back to drugs and die. The only reason they were alive was because they were in the program.

They never graduate from the program... they’re told that thinkin’ is stinkin’ thinkin’s what got you here in the first place. You let us make all the decisions in your life for you. We don’t want you worrying about problems. You’re not capable of making decisions.

The patient load at Deer Park Hospital was around 90 when I visited a few weeks ago. Dr Baron says, and Kotzen confirms, that his is in overall charge of the patient treatment, supervises the therapists and therapy, but competent medical authorities, including Linda, who has broad experience in mental hospitals, say there is no way one Dr. can do this for so many patients. Baron told me he sees every patient every day (and bills for it accordingly) but when asked specifically how he has time with 90 patients he said that he does group therapy... with 15 or sixteen patients at a time. There is no way that can be therapeutic, and even a as method of checking progress that is ridiculous.

We have had several first person accounts from parents, and from former PDAP people that patients actually saw Dr. Baron only three or four times over 35 days in the hospital, that he often was not at the hospital (he claims he works 7 days a week...) yet the bill for daily visits continue to be sent out.Baron’s justification for this is (made to a parent who complained about the bill) was that since he was medically and legally responsible for the patients treatment he was entitled to bill every day the patient was in.

The PAASA (PDAP) program is not based on individual estimate of patient needs. Rather the progress (see attached schedule from a Dallas program) is assumed to be needed by anyone PDAP refers in. Patients, or their parents, are told they will be in a minimum of four weeks. (So far as we know, though, they are not told upon admission that Baron will be billing every day regardless) By Kotzens statement, the PDAP referral comes complete with a “book,” or description of the kid which, initially, at least, forms the basis of the managements decisions.

Though Kotzen says that he maintains 10 free beds (total) at hospitals in Houston is company manages, at least one of the criteria for PDAP referrals is whether the kids parents can pay, or have sufficient medical insurance to pay. There has been a recent problem with Blue Cross / Blue Shield in which they have refused to pay on the ground that the kids are not psyohistorically ill within their definition, but that may have been straightened out, or at least is in the process. Sometimes the kids, it is reported, have been given more severe diagnoses than is accurate solely so that insurance will cover.

The staff is acutely aware of the insurance aspect. While I attended a patient management conference the discussion of one patient centered around the fact that his insurance only covered 30 days per calendar year, so they were planning to discharge him on the 26th and readmit him on Jan 2 or so.

The PDAP counselors who work at the hospital are paid by PDAP, like all the other counselors, but the Hospital reimburses PDAP for their salaries (plus the usual 10% training fee.) In addition the hospital employs psychiatric technicians (techs,) or orderlies, all of whom are active PDAP members. They pay the techs directly.

This represents a kind of conflict of interest... both the repaying PDAP for the counselors, and the employment of the PDAPers as techs. But Kotzen feels not. He says the presence of the PDAP counselors at the hospital adds immensely to the total program, and that PDAP as a source of techs helps the hospital since they are hard working and understand the needs of the patients. Nonetheless paying personnel from the organization that gives the most of their referrals is not considered good management.

A larger conflict of interest is that Contemporary Health also pays Meehan an annual consultants fee, currently at the rate of 50,000 per year. Kotzen did not mention this when I spoke with him, but Meehan freely told me about it. Meehan says he consults with them on “hiring, on how to interview perspective employees, and on standards for therapist and psychiatrist.”

Contemporary health also pays consultant fees to many of the PDAP city directors. Amounts have not been absolutely confirmed but we believe in the neighborhood of 6000 per year each. (Bill Parker will tell us that, in essence, the fees to the city directors are to keep referrals coming. That when the patient population goes down, the word is put out that the “census is down” and in a few days the wards are full again.)

To sum up:

1. Most of the kids in Deer Park shouldn’t be there (medically speaking.)

2. There is no diagnostic interview or outside consult before PDAP counselors refer kids, and rarely is any referred kid not admitted.

3. The hospital is clearly an unofficial arm of PDAP.

4. The hospital’s relationship with PDAP clearly represents a conflict of interest, both financially and medically.

Footnotes: the absolute minimum Dr. Baron is billing is 450,000 per year, based on an average of 50 patients a day x 25 dollars per day. My guess is that his billings in 1979 were close to a million. He generally is paid partly through insurance, and if the parents won’t pay the rest he turns the bill over to a collection agency. One mother, who was outraged by the size of Barons bill and the fact that he rarely saw her child while he was in the hospital, refused to pay what was left after insurance coverage. The agency threatened to sue. She said she would welcome a suit since that would expose the truth about Baron’s phony billing. She never heard from them again and has not and will not pay. Another couple reported they were not told, when their child was admitted to Deer Park, that they would have a problem collecting under Blue Cross / Blue Shield, and got stuck with a huge bill from the hospital and also from Baron. They report Baron’s collection agency, one Jerry Sieger, has repeatedly made harassing and threatening phone calls both at work and home, and has threatened to turn the couple in to the IRS on a pretext, all of which is in violation of the law. They also report that Baron never offered a sort of progress report on their child while he was in the hospital.

Baron has contributed money to PDAP, as is listed as a public contributor in their fund raising brochure. There is also a letter from Baron in that brochure which praises PDAP. No mention of his connection with the hospital.

One father notes: We were told by management, and Bill Parker will confirm, that the word would be passed down when the patient census at Deer Park (and other PDAP affiliated hospitals) fell, and within a few days the PDAP counselors at the satellite have referred enough patients to get the census up.

Hospital Questions:

Kotzen:

1. It seems absolutely clear, from everything we’ve seen, from many people we’ve talked to inside and outside PDAP, that may, most of the kids that come in here do not need a hospital stay in the generally accepted psychiatric sense... they are not addicts, they do not need to detoxify. Yet you think staying here for 4, 6 weeks is valuable... PDAP thinks so. What do your patients get in here that they can’t get outside at less cost?

3. What role do the PDAP counselors play in here?

9. You know very well that there a number of people who think that your operation here is really just a fancy hustle. You’ve created a system first, then you’ve looked for bodies it fill it up... Daddy will pay for it, insurance will pay for it whether the kids need it or not.

2. You yourself told us, just a few weeks ago, “most of the kids PDAP referred here are ‘normally abnormal kids’” and that not more than 15 percent are acute enough or addicted enough to need de-toxification.

4. Your company, Contemporary Health Services, which runs this and other hospitals, pays Bob Meehan a consultant fee. He told us it was now 50 thousand dollars a year. What does he do for you to rate that kind of retainer?

5. We are told, by people who have kept the PDAP books, that Contemporary Health Services also picks up a substantial amount of Bob Meehan expenses...

7. The hospital reimburses PDAP for the salaries of the nine PDAP counselors who work here at Deer Park. Do you consider that a charitable contribution? If not, what medical services do they preform that your own staff doesn’t, or can’t?

8. You know, there are those who would say that your relationship with PDAP has a considerable degree of conflict of interest... on the surface, at least. You pay Bob Meehan a consultants fee, you pay a number of the city directors of PDAP a consultants fee, you indirectly pay the salaries of the PDAP counselors who work here... and PDAP supplies your profit-making enterprise, this hospital, with patients, almost all of whom appear to be admitted solely on the basis of a PDAP referral...

6. You also, we are told, pay consultants fees to a number of the City Directors of PDAP. What do they do for that fee?

Hospital questions... Baron

1. Dr. Baron, correct me if I’m wrong... you, in effect are the medical director of this hospital... that is, you supervise the therapists, you are in charge of patient management?

2. And you are the admitting physician of record, is that so?

3. I’d like to go over a few criticisms we’ve hear from persons who admittedly are not part of this program.. perhaps even hostile, but nevertheless seem to us to require an answer.

Firstly, that patients are being and have been admitted to this hospital without having been seen and evaluated by anyone other than a PDAP counselor... that, in fact, patients have been admitted here with your name as admitting physician on occasions when you were not present and have never, in fact, seen the patient...

Is it not customary for a patient to receive an evaluation from a physician or at the very least from a certified clinical psychologist before he’s admitted to a psychiatric hospital?

(Insert here followup, if necessary, from Sunday interviews.)

4. Now, you are in charge of the patients program, so to speak, but if I understand it correctly you are not an employee of Deer Park Hospital?

Are you affiliated with other hospitals?

Now, I understand that you charge for your services not through the hospital but independently, is that correct?

And how much do you charge per day?

That’s ____ per day per patient. And I understand that the average number of patients per day here at Deer Park has been ______. And if I can do a little fast arithmetic that comes to about _________ per year. That seems quite extraordinary to us. Especially since some noted colleagues of yours we have consulted tell us there’s no way one psychiatrist can supervise the treatment of that many inpatients and do it effectively...

Unless, of course, a good number of the patients... perhaps most... don’t really need to be in here?

START

Dr. Baron, there is a letter from you which is part of a fundraising brochure PDAP is using in which you say “I have worked closely with PDAP over the past several years, and I have found it to be the most effective drug abuse program that I have ever come in contact with in my professional career. PDAP’s results are outstanding.”

How outstanding have their results been?

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b1uehours · 4 years ago

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I can’t follow through whenever I’ve tried to post something about what I’m struggling with and the possibility that I need help and can ask for it on a platform like this.

Here I go.

I am 26 [26F] and I live with my abusive father. I am ostracized from both his and my mother’s family where I have experienced abuse from both sides growing up. My father had primary custody and I had my life living with him (school, sports, friends, etc.), though I didn’t have a better option between the two, nor did I have a choice otherwise until I was 16. I made the choice to cut off visitation to my mother and her family under one roof entirely, I have had very few interactions with them since. I have no support system or relationship with any family (let alone friends, to be honest).

My mother is disabled due to a drug overdose when I was 9 months old and my dad swiftly divorced her and never looked back. She flatlined twice and suffered severe, life long consequences physically and emotionally. She was still very much capable of being abusive. My dad blamed his therapist for his decision to leave, claiming that is what ‘they told him to do.’ If it makes things easier to understand, I am sure he is a narcissist. He shows no resentment, and has always antagonized her since. He glorified himself as a single parent to everyone who will listen (especially women he was hitting on, while I, a child, was present). I can’t say that I’ve had a mother figure or really even a father figure, as my dad never did much more than pressure me to excel or punish me yet never wanted to take time or effort explain anything, so I’ve largely discovered whatever I can about myself and beyond, myself.

I have an ADHD, Severe Depression, Anxiety, C-PTSD, and Insomnia diagnoses. Unfortunately, I have been through misdiagnosis, neglect, and outright harmful behavior by therapists, psychiatrists, and mental health professionals in the past (looking at you Kaiser Permanente) and continue to experience to this day. I have tried every medication under the sun, and I have yet to find any combination that has given me a chance at life and at the very least, functionality. I have tried TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation) with brief spikes in minor results but stopped after doing it every weekday for 6-7 months after no real improvement and an exacerbation in my symptoms due to my experiences at home.

Based on the claim that my father is a narcissist, he abuses me in physically and emotionally debilitating ways. This pandemic has caused the abuse i experience by him to be exacerbated.

He does not social distance. He is bringing guests (most of the time 2 different women) into the home frequently and does not take repercussions in response, nor do I have a say.

He is extremely controlling and verbally abusive. He is quick to anger and constantly wants to make me dependent yet berates me for not being independent. He acknowledges my mental illness when it is convenient and refutes it just the same. He has kicked me out multiple times and stolen my car after I lived in it. He helps me with nothing financially. He is a well off landlord who lost no income during this pandemic, got a stimulus check and stole mine because he filed me under his taxes last year without telling me. He did not split any of the stimulus check with me, and he hid that he received it. He is financially abusive and has refused to buy groceries beyond for himself, despite knowing I was/am unemployed with no immediate options.

He opens my mail and violates my privacy, going into my room and looking into everything under the guise that he was helping me. He has no boundaries & has physically abused me in the past.

I do not feel safe.

I lost my only bit of work as a pet sitter/dog walker in March and have applied for cash assistance twice and unemployment twice. I was denied by cash assistance both times, I was denied by unemployment once and my second application was completely ignored, as if I never submitted it (I screenshotted the confirmation number just in case, emailed them twice and got 0 response both times). I filed for social security disability twice as well, and was denied twice. I have already had state disability from a few years ago and never bounced back entirely financially, especially as a self employer so that is not an option for me. I am planning on applying for unemployment a third time, yet it is daunting and discouraging after all attempts to email and call have come up with no help. I have exhausted every option I can think of and have been denied nearly all support.

As of August 15th, my insurance was halted because my father tried to keep me as a disabled dependent (funny how I’m disabled on paper yet have no access to financial resources in response) so his taxes would remain low since I would stay on his plan. I applied and qualified for MediCal and had to call HR at his job to nullify the paperwork he filled out to keep me as a disabled dependent on his plan without me knowing. I was waiting for the letter that included the insurance termination date and never received it. All of a sudden, I was unable to have access to therapy services and have been unable to resume ever since, even though I kept my plan through mediCal. It has caused great detriment to my health and stability.

I finally have food stamps so I can feed myself, though it does not last well through the entire month. I like to cook, yet I suffer from constant fatigue and do need convenient options.

I am unhealthy physically and mentally, and am only seeking to better my situation. I am pursuing work but I am also pursuing solutions to the chronic fatigue I experience daily which has had a major impact on my personal and professional life since childhood. I want to set myself up to succeed even after how hopeless this feels. I cannot continue to neglect myself and go through life this way, feeling like a prisoner holing up in my room, not eating until midnight because I need to avoid my father who is constantly near the kitchen, not sleeping because I have no control over my daytime hours. Sleeping too much and losing every day (especially each day I share with my lovely cat Blue, who deserves better).

I am asking for any help, whatever that might look like for you. I am in dire straights financially, and have credit card debt due to when I was homeless a few years back after my father had kicked me out. I have no income whatsoever and no access to basic necessities. The hopelessness in my situation is mounting, because there has been a wall in front of every effort I’ve made to help myself that I have no control over.

My goal is to be able to move out of my father’s home with my cat Blue so I can move past survival mode and begin to heal and get to know who I am and who I want to be. I feel that any means I can achieve that will help me create and live my own life, not as a punching bag for my father, or anybody else who has failed to truly be there for me in my life.

This is mostly to just vent. But if anyone were to actually see this, I’d love for it to be shared in some way. I greatly appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this and those who didn’t too! <3

Just in case, here’s my PayPal:

Thank you internet. Here is a photo of my munchkin

#TW #tw abuse #depression #i needed to get a portion of this out there #i know its a hot mess #thank you for your time

0 notes

onlinemarketinghelp · 5 years ago

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The Essential Estate Planning Documents: What You Need and Why https://ift.tt/2svLNDt

We all hope terrible situations will never hurt us or our loved ones. But making practical plans for your eventual death will make your passing easier. That’s true whether you die unexpectedly at a young age or you live to be 140 years old.

Here are the six key estate planning documents that most people will eventually need. You might think all you need is a will, but once you understand how everything works, you'll see why you need all these documents and how they work together to ensure your family's needs and your final wishes are met.

If you don’t have a robust estate plan, keep reading to find out what you need.

Quick Navigation

A Will

Living Will

Medical Power of Attorney

Financial Power of Attorney

Life Insurance

A Digital Will: Access to Your Digital Life

What Resources Can Help You?

A Will

A will is basically a statement of who gets what property when you die. If you owe money when you die, your assets will be used to pay off your debts, and the remainder will go to your beneficiaries — the people (or charities) you select in your will.

For parents, your will also gives information about who you want to care for your children or fur-babies if you die.

A will (or a last will and testament) is your most important estate planning document, and every adult needs one. Even if you have a negative net worth (meaning you owe more than you have in assets), a will is useful. The document will outline who should receive your personal effects (jewelry, musical instruments, and personal items). And in a few years, when you have more assets, everything will be taken care of appropriately.

Instead, a basic will that you sign in front of two friends is sufficient. Want to get a will on a budget? My husband and I had a will drafted for free using campus legal services when he was in school.

I also received a heavily discounted will from a lawyer using my company’s legal services. At the time, I asked both lawyers about law template services like those offered by LegalZoom, and neither seemed impressed by the services.

That said, in my non-professional and non-legally credentialed opinion, you don’t need a will drafted by a lawyer until you own property, have children, or have substantial assets. Use a free template online, or buy one from LegalZoom or a similar service.

As you’re building your will, be sure to make a list of all your assets (don’t forget digital assets such as domain names and websites), your debts, and who you want to administer your will. Be sure to sign the will in front of witnesses to make it legal.

This should be a physical document, although storing a digital copy could be useful.

Living Will

A living will is a document that explains your wishes pertaining to your medical care. Most people include information about whether they want to be kept alive by machines if there is no chance at getting better. You may want to include information about pain management and organ donation too.

Anyone that adheres to specific beliefs that influence their medical decisions should specify these in their living will.

This should be a physical document, although storing a digital copy could be useful.

Medical Power of Attorney

A medical power of attorney is a document that authorizes a person (usually a spouse, a parent, an adult child, or a close friend) to make medical decisions on your behalf. This document is also known as an advance health care directive.

The medical power of attorney is different from a living will. It is meant to cover you for scenarios you cannot predict. Your agent (the person you appoint to make decisions for you) does not have any power until you are no longer capable of making decisions yourself.

Medical power of attorney becomes increasingly important if you’re facing cognitive impairments such as Alzheimer’s or dementia.

Although many people think of a medical power of attorney as a document for older people, the document is just as important for young people. If you are unmarried and you want an unmarried partner, a friend, or a sibling to be your agent, draw up a document. Otherwise, a parent may become your agent.

This should be a physical document, although storing a digital copy could be useful.

Financial Power of Attorney

A financial power of attorney is the right for a person you appoint to make financial decisions on your behalf. A financial power of attorney is generally drafted so that it goes into effect for either a limited period of time or only when you become incapacitated.

A limited financial power of attorney may be appropriate if you want someone to continue paying your bills while you are deployed overseas for a military operation. This person should be able to access your bank account, and pay bills on your behalf. But you must be careful with this. A person with access to your account will have the power to steal from you, so you must trust them.

A “springing” financial power of attorney goes into effect when you become mentally or physically incapacitated.

This should be a physical document, although storing a digital copy could be useful.

Note: Many financial institutions have their own forms that you need to fill out in addition to a financial power of attorney. Not to say it can't be done with just a POA, but having the appropriate forms filled out at your bank and investment firm can be very helpful.

Life Insurance

Not everyone needs life insurance, but if you’ve got life insurance, it’s important for your beneficiaries to be able to access the documents. Depending on where you have a policy, getting policy documents may be easy by downloading them online, or you may have to jump through a lot of hoops to access them.

If you cannot easily access the policy documents online, I recommend saving your documents in a fireproof safe, and informing someone (hopefully a spouse or other beneficiary of the proceeds) about the policy.

Also, be sure to consider your amount of insurance every time you have a major life event. Getting married, buying a house, getting a massive raise, and having kids may lead you to want more insurance.

Check out this list of where to get the best term life insurance.

A Digital Will: Access to Your Digital Life

One of the less considered parts of estate planning is what will happen to your digital life when you die. If you own digital property (such as a website) that generates income for you, consider whether you want a spouse or loved one to take it over in the event of your death. If there’s no obvious succession plan, establish a relationship with a digital broker who may want to buy the site from you.

Aside from monetary property, you’ll need your heirs to have access to your digital life including passwords for financial institutions, social media passwords, online storage accounts (such as Dropbox, cloud-based storage for photos, etc.), and web-based property (think digital movies and books).

Keeping these things organized is not easy for me, so I’ve established two LastPass accounts. The first account is a work-based account. For this account, a colleague is designated as my emergency contact. If I become ill or die, that colleague can access the account.

My other LastPass account is a personal account which contains all my personal passwords, information about life insurance, and more. My husband is my designated emergency contact. I also helped him set up a similar password manager for his accounts.

What Resources Can Help You?

If you have substantial assets, and you’re starting to think about distributing them in an effective way, it makes sense to meet with a financial planner, an accountant, and an estate planning attorney. These professionals can make a bespoke plan that will make sure your assets are distributed according to your wishes.

Of course, not everyone needs a bespoke plan. If you’re a parent with a few assets and a life insurance policy, you may want a lawyer to help you draft a will. A professional can give you the peace of mind that everything is as it should be.

In my experience, the discounted legal services offered through my company have been more than sufficient to meet this need. If you can’t find free or discounted legal services, use the American Bar Association’s lawyer finder to find a licensed attorney in your state.

The last resource I recommend is called the In Case of Emergency (ICE) Binder. This binder is a tool specifically designed to help parents make practical plans for emergency situations. The binder is incredibly practical, and it includes sections on everything from how to use insurance money to what your child’s schedule and preferences are.

The post The Essential Estate Planning Documents: What You Need and Why appeared first on The College Investor.

from The College Investor

If you don’t have a robust estate plan, keep reading to find out what you need.

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A Will

Living Will

Medical Power of Attorney

Financial Power of Attorney

Life Insurance

A Digital Will: Access to Your Digital Life

What Resources Can Help You?

A Will

For parents, your will also gives information about who you want to care for your children or fur-babies if you die.

This should be a physical document, although storing a digital copy could be useful.

Living Will

Anyone that adheres to specific beliefs that influence their medical decisions should specify these in their living will.

This should be a physical document, although storing a digital copy could be useful.

Medical Power of Attorney

Medical power of attorney becomes increasingly important if you’re facing cognitive impairments such as Alzheimer’s or dementia.

This should be a physical document, although storing a digital copy could be useful.

Financial Power of Attorney

A “springing” financial power of attorney goes into effect when you become mentally or physically incapacitated.

This should be a physical document, although storing a digital copy could be useful.

Life Insurance

Check out this list of where to get the best term life insurance.

A Digital Will: Access to Your Digital Life

What Resources Can Help You?

The post The Essential Estate Planning Documents: What You Need and Why appeared first on The College Investor.

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